《Shallow (Going Under #2)》


 Page 1

    1 Jedi Sex Tricks


    PaytonAdvertisement


    2 Weeks After High School Graduation


    Why the hell was I driving to Collinsville to watch Dane Wickam race? And better yet, how had I let him talk me into making a two-hundred dollar bet that he would win? I didn¡¯t know jack about racing and if I had to guess, Dane didn¡¯t either. Sure, his parents bought him a fast, new Porsche for graduation, but that didn¡¯t mean he knew how to race it.


    I stopped at a red light just before we entered Collinsville, Jessie¡¯s old stomping ground, and looked up in my rearview mirror at him sitting in my backseat. ¡°Hey, Jessie, do you know this guy Dane is going to race?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I went to school with Hawke at Collinsville. We were in the same class and I¡¯ve helped him out with his car before.¡±


    ¡°Hawke?¡± I laughed and the only thing I could picture was some guy with a big hooked nose like a bad cartoon. ¡°What kind of name is Hawke? His mom is wrong for doing that to him.¡±


    ¡°His name is Nick Hawke, but everyone calls him Hawke and the name suits him pretty well. He¡¯s very well known for his predatory nature.¡±


    That didn¡¯t sound like a compliment. ¡°A predator? Like a hunter?¡±


    I watched Jessie laughing in my mirror. ¡°No, girls are his chosen prey.¡±


    Claire twisted around in her seat to look at Jessie. ¡°That¡¯s funny because I was under the impression that the Collinsville ladies¡¯ man left when you came to East Franklin.¡±


    ¡°No, Hawke was always the favorite among the chicks. They love his pretty face. I swear he can sweet talk himself into any girl¡¯s pants, so I want you to keep your distance from him. I don¡¯t want you falling for any of his Jedi sex tricks.¡±


    What tha¡¯? I spun around to look at Jessie sitting in the backseat behind Claire. ¡°Did you just say Jedi sex tricks?¡±


    Somehow in the midst of spinning around to look at Jessie, I forgot I was the one in the driver¡¯s seat and my foot accidentally slipped from the brake to the accelerator.


    ¡°Payton, look out!¡± Claire squealed just before I rammed into the back of the car stopped in front of us.


    The whole thing happened in a split second. Shit. My parents were going to kill me. I didn¡¯t have the best driving record ever, but at least I¡¯d never gotten into an accident. So much for my clean accident-free driving history.


    Jessie leaned toward me in the driver¡¯s seat. ¡°Yes, I said Jedi sex tricks.¡±


    ¡°Shut up,¡± I barked as I looked at the car in front of us to assess the damage but I couldn¡¯t tell anything from inside the car. I watched the driver sling his door open and get out to look at the back of his car before he turned and stared at me with narrowed eyes.


    Oh. My. Gosh. I just mated my Lexus with a P.O.S. Camaro being driven by quite possibly the hottest guy I¡¯d ever seen. The problem other than the obvious? He was pissed about it, like really pissed, and he was staring at me like he could strangle me.


    ¡°Umm, I don¡¯t think you should get out of the car. He looks really mad. Maybe we should just call in the accident and wait on the police to come,¡± Claire suggested.


    ¡°Nah, I¡¯ve got this.¡± Jessie opened the door and was out of my car before Claire could object. He was Claire¡¯s knight in shining armor and because I was the bestie without a boyfriend, he took it upon himself to be my protector as well. That was just Jessie.


    I cracked my window as he walked by. ¡°Hey, Kimosabe, do you think you can manage to not take a gunshot wound or knife to the gut? You know you don¡¯t have a really great track record with confrontation.¡±


    Without looking back, he flipped me off over his shoulder and I looked at Claire. ¡°You really need to teach your boyfriend some manners.¡±


    She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. ¡°Apparently I¡¯m not very successful at that. I haven¡¯t managed to teach you any over the years.¡±


    ¡°I have manners, but you know my motto. Why be difficult, when with only a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?¡±


    Claire shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she watched Jessie talking to the guy I just hit. I couldn¡¯t tell anything by the expression on his face as he put his hands on his hips and turned back to look at me in the car. ¡°There are a lot of other things you could excel at besides being a smart ass.¡±


    ¡°I''m sorry you find my normal behavior to be so highly inappropriate, Princess.¡±


    ¡°Nope, you know that you don¡¯t get to call me that. Jessie is the only one with that privilege.¡±


    Jessie turned from talking with ¡®hot guy I just slammed into¡¯ and walked around to Claire¡¯s side of the car. She rolled down her window and Jessie leaned in with his arms resting on top of my car as he looked at Claire. ¡°Warning. This is going to go over like a turd in the punchbowl.¡±


    I leaned around Claire to see Jessie because that clearly meant I was about to be pissed about something. ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡±


    ¡°He says that he won¡¯t sue if you¡¯ll go out with him.¡± He was laughing and Claire punched him with her hand as she mouthed, ¡°Stop.¡±


    I looked at Jessie and waited for the punchline. ¡°You need to stop trying to be a clown, Bro, because there¡¯s no circus in town.¡±


    He held his hands up like he was an innocent party, but he was still laughing. ¡°That¡¯s what he said. Don¡¯t shoot the messenger.¡±


    ¡°Oh, hell to the naw,¡± I announced as I waved my hand back and forth. Now it was me slinging my car door open. ¡°I only need a minute to take care of this.¡±


    ¡°Calm down and play nice, Payton. Keep in mind that you just ran into the back of his car,¡± Claire graciously reminded me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t play nice when I¡¯m given ultimatums.¡± I slammed my car door shut and straightened my short skirt before I walked toward Mr. Prince of Nothing Charming in my four inch wedge heels. This was going to be the most fun I¡¯d have all night so I planned to take advantage.


    Damn. The closer I got, the more I realized how great looking this jack off was and frankly it was a little unnerving. His hair was dark and longer than I liked, but it suited him so perfectly the way the untamed tendrils curled and stuck to the perspiration along his forehead. He reached to shove a lock out of his face and his dark chocolate brown eyes pierced mine through his long sooty lashes as though he saw straight through to my soul.


    His shoulders were broad, just the way I like them and his black T-shirt fit his chest tightly so I was able to see how well defined his chest was beneath it. I could tell he worked out. A lot.


    He caught me looking and my own heart betrayed me as it began to race without my permission. My breath was held hostage in the back of my throat as my eyes moved from his chest up to his face and I wondered what his semi-scruffy chin would feel like against my throat as it slid lower.


    Hey, Self! Stop having a lady boner moment! This guy is trying to coerce you into a date by the means of a threat. Don¡¯t crack just because he¡¯s eye candy.


    I stood in front of him with my arms folded and waited for him to say the first word, but he didn¡¯t. Good thing I didn¡¯t mind speaking up. ¡°So, I have to go out with you if I don¡¯t want to get sued, huh? Are you kiddin¡¯ me, dude? That¡¯s called blackmail and it¡¯s illegal.¡±


    He gave me a big lopsided seductive grin and I was certain it wasn¡¯t the first time he had used it to get what he wanted. ¡°Some might call it extortion, but I think a date would be adequate compensation for any damage that may have occurred.¡±


    I turned to look at the back of his car and saw that neither of our vehicles had suffered any damage during my unfortunate Jedi sex trick mishap. I could have argued that there was nothing to be compensated for, but I felt like having a little fun with this guy. ¡°Do you have something I could use to write my contact information on?¡±


    His lopsided grin oozed with satisfaction and turned up on both sides to reveal two of the cutest dimples I had ever seen. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. ¡°Don¡¯t need it. I¡¯ll put you in my phone,¡± he said as he stood there waiting to hear my digits.


    He was going to add me in his cell phone, today¡¯s version of the Little Black Book. He didn¡¯t see the smirk on my face because he was busy looking at his phone while I called off, ¡°5-5-5-3-9-8-5. Vivian Archer, Attorney at Law. She¡¯s my mother and your attorney may contact her so they may discuss the conditions of your claim against me.¡±


    Okay, that was a little bit of a lie. My mother had not practiced law in years, but he didn¡¯t have to know that. His sexy little grin faded and mine spread bigger. ¡°Now, if you¡¯ll excuse me, I have money riding on a race and I¡¯d like to be there to collect my winnings.¡±


    That lopsided grin made a reappearance. ¡°A race, huh? I heard about that. I hope you bet on Hawke instead of that spoiled rich kid from East Franklin or you can expect to kiss your money good-bye.¡±


    So, he was a ¡®know it all¡¯ also. ¡°As a matter of fact, I did not bet on anyone named after a bird. My money is riding on the brand new Porsche.¡±


    In his fitted black T-shirt and dark washed jeans, he stepped back and leaned against his old black Camaro. He crossed his arms and I suspected he did so to call attention to his muscular, tanned biceps. Mission accomplished.


    ¡°You placed a bet on a car with no consideration for the driver? That¡¯s known as bad betting, Doll Face. I hope you didn¡¯t wager a lot of money because you are going to lose.¡±


    I shifted my weight to one leg and kept my arms crossed over my chest. ¡°I have two Benjamins on the Porsche that is going to win.¡±


    He let out a high pitched whistle. ¡°Wow, you seem very confident in your car, so how would you feel about upping your ante since you¡¯re so positive the Porsche will leave Hawke in the dust?¡±


    I wish I could, but I didn¡¯t have cash on me and I doubted this jerk took credit. ¡°Sorry, no can do unless I can swipe my Visa up your ass crack.¡±


    He grinned and laughed. ¡°Wow, I didn¡¯t expect anything like that to come out of a beautiful little delicate mouth of yours.¡±

 Page 2

    His statement alone showed he didn¡¯t know all he thought he did because it was a rare occasion that anything delicate came out of my mouth. ¡°You¡¯d be surprised.¡±Advertisement


    He cocked his head slightly and rubbed his scruffy chin with his hand, a sure sign that he was intrigued by my less than ladylike statement. ¡°I love surprises.¡±


    I heard a car honk its horn in the distance. ¡°In case you forgot, we¡¯re in the middle of the road holding up traffic.¡±


    He displayed his lack of concern with the traffic by the wave of his hand in their direction. ¡°They can wait. I have a proposal for you.¡±


    I suddenly thought of Demi Moore and Robert Redford in Indecent Proposal. ¡°And what might that be?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Doll Face. It¡¯s a decent proposal.¡± Did he just read my mind? ¡°I¡¯d like to make a side bet with you. If your Porche wins, I¡¯ll give you two-hundred bucks in addition to the winnings you¡¯ll receive from the pot on the bet you have already placed.¡±


    Wait for it. Wait for it. Where was the catch? ¡°I¡¯m listening, but I didn¡¯t hear what you are proposing I wager?¡±


    There was that seductive lopsided grin again. ¡°I only ask that you agree to one night with me.¡±


    Was he kiddin¡¯ me? There was no way that could be considered a decent proposal. The way he said it was so seductive and I wasn¡¯t quite sure what he meant by ¡®one night with him.¡¯ I was speechless. I was breathless. I was curious.


    His expression became smug as he lifted one eyebrow and said, ¡°I guess you¡¯re not as confident as you claim to be or this would be a no-brainer.¡±


    Shizzle, that eyebrow lift thing he did was sexy. I mentally pimp slapped myself and doused my face with ice water. I managed to gather some words but I wasn¡¯t sure how convincing I sounded when I squeaked them out. ¡°I¡¯m very confident that my driver is going to win.¡±


    ¡°Okay, prove it then. Accept my bet.¡±


    There it was. He challenged me and got my competitive juices flowing. I knew I shouldn¡¯t agree to it because it would prove nothing, but it sure would be funny to wipe that grin off his face. Plus, it never hurt to make an extra two-hundred bucks. ¡°I¡¯m not afraid, so I¡¯ll take your challenge.¡±


    He held his hand out to me and I looked at it like it was the snake in the Garden of Eden. Once I decided it wasn¡¯t going to bite me, I reached to take it. ¡°Can I safely assume that you will be at the race and that you won¡¯t run off with my money after Dane wins?¡±


    He laughed at me and I might have been pissed about it except I got to see his gorgeous dimples again. ¡°There won¡¯t be any running off with your money, Doll Face. I¡¯ll be looking for you so we can settle up on our night together.¡±


    His cockiness pissed me off so I was the one to pull my hand free from his. ¡°I think you¡¯ve delighted me long enough with your trash talk. I have a race to watch.¡±


    ¡°And I have a race to win.¡± He winked at me before he got into his car. Once inside, he started the engine and it roared loudly, just like a race car. I stood frozen in the middle of the road and watched him pull away as I realized I never asked his name.


    Shit! Was that Nick Hawke and had I just unknowingly been preyed upon by the Sex Tricks Jedi? I did not want to admit it, but I think I had just been bested. I walked with my tail tucked between my legs and got into my car.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Payton?¡± Claire asked when I didn¡¯t volunteer an explanation.


    ¡°I think Hell just froze over,¡± I said as I stared ahead at the spot once occupied by a Camaro and its driver.


    ¡°Oh, shit!¡± I heard Jessie groan from the back seat. ¡°I know that look.¡±


    I turned around and said, ¡°That was him, wasn¡¯t it? Nick Hawke? Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t give me a chance to tell you anything before you jumped out of the car with promises of man handling him. You said that you only needed a minute to straighten him out and I believed you,¡± Jessie reminded me.


    I held the bridge of my nose and Claire recognized that as my signature move when I was stressed. ¡°You¡¯re pinching your nose. What¡¯s wrong? What did he say to you?¡±


    I felt stupid and played and I wasn¡¯t telling them about my ignorant bet with Nick Hawke unless I had to, meaning if I lost.


    ¡°Nothing, Claire. Let¡¯s just go watch this race and get it over with.¡± And hope Dane drove that Porsche like he stole it.


    2 Not So Fast, Doll Face


    Nick


    Damn, that girl excited me. She was one hot piece of ass and I couldn¡¯t resist watching her in my rearview mirror as I drove away from her while she stood staring after me. Not only was she hot, she was entirely different from every other girl I¡¯d ever met and I was thoroughly fascinated by the unusual way she was unaffected by my interest in her.


    I would have gladly blown that race off without a moment¡¯s wesitation to work on getting into those panties, but I knew I would be seeing her at the race soon enough. She would be watching me and hoping I wouldn¡¯t win. Something about knowing she would be there rooting against me intrigued me and the challenge she presented fascinated me beyond simple curiosity.


    Because of our run in at the red light, I got to the dead end road we all referred to as ¡®The Strip¡¯ later than normal. Everyone was waiting on me and onlookers were lined up along each side of the road. I looked at my clock and saw that there was still fifteen minutes before all bets were closed, but I had already made the only wager that counted in my book.


    I immediately saw the new black Porsche in position at the start. I admit it was a total badass, but it wasn¡¯t a 911 as I expected. It was a Cayman and I smiled because I knew I had this one in the bag.


    It wasn¡¯t the money making me smile, although a cool grand would hit the spot. It was the beautiful blonde with the light golden brown eyes the color of honey that provoked my good mood. Honey was a flavor I liked very much.


    I realized that I had not gotten her name because I had gotten so hot and bothered by her, but that was okay. I wasn¡¯t letting her get away again without making good on the night she would owe me.


    I stopped dead even with the Porsche on the starting lineup. I got out to meet the rich kid I was going to race and wondered if the object of my new fascination was here to support him or strictly here for the prospect of making a little cash.


    He offered his hand and I took it as I said, ¡°Nick Hawke.¡±


    ¡°Dane Wickam.¡± He greeted me with a smile and I found that unusual because my opponent and I usually both played the tough guy card. This kid was different; he seemed nice.


    ¡°Sweet ride,¡± I complimented. It was fancy and expensive, but it was no match for the illegal bells and whistles I had added to the motor in my Camaro.


    He shrugged as though it was no big deal. ¡°Thanks. It was a graduation gift from the parents.¡±


    Wow, that was some graduation gift. I didn¡¯t even get a ¡®congratulations¡¯ from my old man, but I didn¡¯t have time to dwell on my dad¡¯s lack of enthusiasm for long because I felt arms creep around my waist from behind. I turned my head to look over my shoulder to identify the friendly female and saw Samantha Hodges. Shit, I had forgotten about her and the plans we had made.


    Samantha was like a song on a playlist I always skipped, but never deleted. She was my permanent backup plan for a booty call.


    She and I had plans to get together after the race, which translated in Hawke language as her dropping her panties for me. It seemed like a good idea when I made the date with her, but it couldn¡¯t seem less interesting now that I had met Doll Face.


    ¡°I wanted to give my Hawke a good luck kiss before the race,¡± she said as she locked her fingers above the waist of my jeans and rubbed her body against my back.


    I nudged her arms from my waist and stepped away because I wasn¡¯t into her at the moment. I wasn¡¯t cool with a kiss and I sure wasn¡¯t into her one-sided public display of affection. ¡°Nah, I¡¯m not cool with you doing that in front of everybody.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± she pouted. ¡°Maybe a congratulatory kiss afterwards?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll see.¡± My answer was robotic as I searched ¡®The Strip¡¯ for any sign of the mysterious girl I wanted to get with tonight. I didn¡¯t see her anywhere but I zeroed in on her Lexus parked in the distance and I smiled when I confirmed that she hadn¡¯t skipped on me.


    ¡°I have something special for you tonight,¡± Samantha promised seductively.


    I¡¯m sure she did since she chased me relentlessly, but I couldn''t have been less interested as I continued my search for Jessie¡¯s lovely chauffeur. I backed further away from her and sat on the hood of my car. ¡°I told you we would see.¡±


    Yeah, I was being rude, but she was distracting me and it was irritating.


    ¡°Hawke, I can tell that you¡¯re nervous about the race, but you¡¯ll be in a better mood after you win. I¡¯m going to see to it personally,¡± Samantha promised as she leaned between my parted legs and rubbed her body against my crotch.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that,¡± I warned. I didn¡¯t want her, but that didn¡¯t mean my body wouldn¡¯t respond to stimulus like that.


    ¡°Why not? I just want to give you a little taste of what¡¯s to come later.¡±


    I turned my head away from Samantha and my eyes found the one I sought. She was standing next to Jessie, his girlfriend and my opponent. I watched her body language carefully, looking for any show of affection toward Dane Wickam. When I failed to detect a sign of attraction of her part, I was glad and I found myself smiling in her direction.


    As I stood there feeling triumphant, she turned to look at me and made of face of disgust when she saw Samantha bumping and grinding me on the hood of my car. This chick was going to ruin my chance with Doll Face if I wasn¡¯t careful.


    I reached for her hips and pushed her away. ¡°I need to concentrate on the race, so I¡¯ll catch you later.¡±


    ¡°Sure, Hawke. I¡¯ll wait for you afterwards,¡± she called out as I walked away.

 Page 3

    I joined a group of friends from Collinsville and made small talk about my car while I waited for race time. As I stood with my buddies, I occasionally looked in the direction of Jessie¡¯s friend and was disappointed to see that she wasn¡¯t checking me out.Advertisement


    ¡°Bets will be closing in three minutes,¡± I heard my brother, Jake, yell out and I knew that was my cue to start heading to my car.


    I had to walk by Doll Face on the way and I couldn¡¯t resist speaking to her so I could look into her honey eyes again. ¡°I forgot to introduce myself earlier. I¡¯m Nick Hawke, but all of my friends call me Hawke.¡±


    She didn¡¯t give me the polite return of telling me her name so I prompted her. ¡°And you are?¡±


    I think she was seriously contemplating how she could withhold that information from me but came up empty handed so she finally answered, ¡°Payton Archer.¡±


    I smiled as I mentally repeated her name in my head. ¡°Well, Payton Archer, it¡¯s almost time for the race. How do ya¡¯ feel about a good luck kiss?¡±


    I saw a gleam enter her eyes. ¡°I think a good luck kiss is an excellent idea."


    Wow. That was easy and her receptive response was completely unexpected but then I figured out why. I watched her walk over to my opponent and tap him on the shoulder. When he turned around, she put her arms up over his shoulders and kissed him hard, causing the crowd to erupt into cheers and cat calls.


    When she finished, she turned back to me. ¡°I figured it was only fair for Dane to have a good luck kiss since you got a good luck hump on the hood of your car.¡±


    This girl was unbelievable and like nothing I had ever come across. I watched her strut to the roadside in her short skirt and jacked up heels and I knew winning this race had nothing to do with the money anymore; I had to win this race so I could have my night with her.


    I got into my car and watched all the spectators take their places at the finish line. Jake stood between our cars with a white flag in his hand and I watched for him to lower it as a signal to take off.


    When the white flag dropped, I slammed my foot onto the accelerator a little too suddenly and briefly got sideways, giving the Porsche a jumpstart on me. It was a stupid beginner¡¯s mistake on my part but once I got straightened out I laid the hammer down and we were neck and neck for the next 700 yards until I flipped the nitrous switch. With only 100 yards to spare, I cruised ahead of the Porsche and crossed the finish line as the winner.


    When I got out of the car, a congratulatory crowd rushed toward me and I was so bombarded I couldn¡¯t find Payton in the sea of faces. I searched the crowd, but knew she wouldn¡¯t be pushing through to find me, so I shoved my way toward Dane since I suspected that was where she would be and I was right.


    She saw me coming toward her and tried to escape by mixing into the crowd, but I was faster. With her back turned to me, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close until her back was pressed against my chest. In her hellaciously tall heels, her ear was level with my mouth and I leaned forward to whisper, ¡°Not so fast, Doll Face. We had a bet and you owe me.¡±


    God, she smelled great. It was some kind of fruity mix I couldn¡¯t identify so I placed my nose in her hair and breathed in deeply, but then I quickly pulled away because she turned to peer at me over her shoulder. ¡°First of all, it¡¯s Payton, not Doll Face. And second, you misrepresented yourself when you made that bet with me. You did not tell me you were Nick Hawke, therefore you tricked me into making that wager.¡±


    ¡°You''re cute when you''re mad.¡±


    She tried to pull away. ¡°Then you¡¯re about to see me look downright adorable."


    I pulled her closer. ¡°I may not have told you who I was, but there was no trickery involved. I would have given you your two-hundred bucks if I had lost. This was an upstanding bet whether you like it or not, so are you going to give me the night you owe me?


    I decided I faired a better chance of her feeling guilty and saying ¡®yes¡¯ if she was looking me in my eyes, so I spun her around to face me. ¡°Tonight works for me.¡±


    She dropped her face, but I watched it closely as she thought about her answer. I saw a hint of a smile and then she lifted her eyes to mine. Just as she opened her mouth to give me her verdict, I felt Samantha¡¯s arms slide around my waist again.


    ¡°Hey, Hawke. You ready to go so I can give you your grand prize?¡± Samantha blurted out and then not so innocently added, ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to interrupt. Who¡¯s your friend here?¡±


    I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. I might not know Payton Archer well, but that wasn¡¯t a requirement for me to predict that Samantha had just blown this deal for me.


    ¡°Hello, my name is Justa Leavin¡¯ so feel free to put your grand prize up on Poppycock here.¡± She shook her head in disgust and I watched her back as she walked away.


    It was probably useless to attempt any kind of damage control after what Samantha just pulled, but I couldn¡¯t help myself. Payton Archer wouldn¡¯t be swayed easily so I had my work cut out for me, but I was prepared to do it because I was going to have my night with this girl.


    3 Long Nights and Long Islands


    Payton


    Ugh! How humiliating was that? I was about to tell that jerk that I would keep my end of the bargain and go out with him and then that ¡®ho¡¯ started haunching on him all up in my face. I adamantly reminded myself that it was a stupid bet he tricked me into, so technically I didn¡¯t owe him anything, right?


    Jessie and Claire were busy talking to some of Jessie¡¯s old classmates and I wanted to be alone, so I took the opportunity to hide out in my car and lick my wounds. I sat in my car and looked toward the direction of the finish line but all I could see was a crowd of people looking to collect their earnings and I definitely didn¡¯t fall into that category.


    I reached for my iPod and turned on ¡°All The Same To Me¡± by Anya Marina and then rolled my windows down because it was a little stuffy in my car. I shut my eyes after I leaned my head back against the seat and I tapped my index and middle fingernails against the armrest to the beat of the music as I waited for Jessie and Claire.


    I didn¡¯t want to, but I couldn¡¯t manage to stop thinking about the way that girl had her hands all over Nick Hawke. She looked so familiar with his body. It was disgusting how he was so obviously screwing her, yet he pursued me openly for her to see. Jessie was right about him. He was a full on Playah.


    I was three songs in when Claire opened the passenger door and startled me. ¡°Finally! I thought you¡¯d never come on. I¡¯m ready to blow this popsicle stand.¡±


    ¡°Anxious to get out of here, are we?¡± Jessie asked as he slid into my backseat and I heard the amusement in his voice. I bet Nick told him about the whole bet thing and how he tricked me.


    I refused to look at either of them and didn¡¯t respond to Jessie because I didn¡¯t want to have that conversation. I pulled out of my parking place onto the road toward the only way out and turned the music up loudly as we fell into the line of traffic leading away from ¡®The Strip.¡¯


    Tap. Tap. Tap. I was startled and jumped when I heard knuckles knocking on my driver¡¯s side window. I turned to see Nick Hawke motioning for me to let my window down. My brain screamed for me to drive away but my insides pleaded for me to lower the window. I¡¯m positive I chose wrong, but I sided with my guts and pushed the button to lower my window a few inches.


    ¡°What?¡± I rudely asked through the three inch crack in my window.


    He motioned with his head toward the back door. ¡°Unlock it. I¡¯m riding with you.¡±


    I did that forehead scrunching thing my mom always told me not to do because it would cause me premature wrinkles. ¡°Riding where with me?¡±


    ¡°To the club in Franklin,¡± he answered.


    How did he know where we were going? I looked from Claire to Jessie and gave him my What the Hell look. ¡°What¡¯s he talkin¡¯ about, Kimosabe?¡±


    ¡°I invited Nick to meet us at Shenanigan¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°Say it isn¡¯t so,¡± I gritted through my teeth.


    ¡°Jessie hasn¡¯t seen Nick in a while,¡± Claire explained. ¡°They want to catch up.¡±


    Yeah, right. I knew what he wanted to catch and it didn¡¯t involve anything with his long lost pal. Against my better judgment, I unlocked the door and he smiled victoriously at me before getting into my backseat.


    Nick and Jessie made small talk on the drive to the club and I listened as they laughed and talked about old times at Collinsville. I could hear the amusement in Nick¡¯s voice as he recalled a particular stunt Jessie pulled on the librarian when they were in sixth grade. I knew I would be able to see his dimples again if only I lifted my eyes to look in my rearview mirror, but I forced myself to not do it because I refused to expose myself like that.


    We entered the club and found a table near the dance floor. It only took a minute for my eyes to find ex-hole, Cooper, dancing with Allie Bumphis and I felt my heart speed like a rocket. Why had I agreed to come here with Jessie and Claire? I knew they would be here together.


    Claire saw the happy couple on the dance floor and placed a supportive hand on my arm. ¡°Do you want to leave?¡±


    Yeah, I did but I wasn¡¯t going to ruin Claire and Jessie¡¯s good time because of my own stupidity. ¡°No, I want to stay because I need to have a good time. I think it will take my mind off what happened.¡±


    I looked up to see Cooper and Allie coming off of the dance floor in our direction. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back. I¡¯m going to visit the ladies¡¯ room for a minute.¡±


    I pushed my way through the crowd and into the bathroom. I stood in front of a mirror and pulled my lip gloss from my bag and gave my lips a fresh coat of shine as I thought about the ultimatum Cooper had given me. It was humiliating and hurtful, but I¡¯d never admit that to anyone but Jessie and Claire.


    I perfected the gloss on my cupid¡¯s bow with my finger and then stood a little taller. ¡°I can do this,¡± I said to my reflection. I didn¡¯t have a choice; I had to do it.

 Page 4

    I returned to find Cooper and Allie sitting at our table. Cooper¡¯s arm was resting possessively around the back of Allie¡¯s chair and I wondered if that was something he did often or if it was because Mr. Sex on a Stick was sitting with us.Advertisement


    ¡°You okay?¡± Jessie whispered when I sat next to him and Claire.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m good,¡± I lied as I gave him my best faux smile. It was weird how Jessie had fallen into the role of my protector. He was like a big brother to me, only much more. The guy I once regarded as a tatted up Collinsville skank was now my best friend too.


    He leaned over so no one would hear him. ¡°I don¡¯t believe you.¡±


    What was I supposed to do? ¡°I have to get over them being together because they¡¯re an item and it doesn¡¯t look like that¡¯s going to change anytime soon. I can¡¯t keep pretending I have to leave every time I see them somewhere.¡±


    Claire leaned over to be part of the conversation. ¡°Will you tell us if you change your mind and want to go?¡±


    I rolled my eyes. ¡°Yes, Mother. Yes, Father. I¡¯ll tell you.¡±


    ¡®Single Ladies¡¯ came on and a flock of girls headed for the dance floor. I usually begged Claire to dance with me, but tonight was different because I didn¡¯t have my usual good mood or a drink in my hand.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if it¡¯s your turn to drive tonight. I don¡¯t want you to worry about it because I¡¯ve got it covered. I want you and Claire to have a good time,¡± Jessie offered. ¡°What do y''all want to drink?¡±


    I don¡¯t know if it was the tats or what, but Jessie never got carded anywhere and he always got us as many drinks as we wanted. Claire ordered her usual Cosmopolitan and I thought for a second before I knew the only cure for what ailed me.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got hers,¡± Nick announced from across the table as he stared at me. ¡°I¡¯ll get you anything you want.¡±


    It felt more like a challenge than an offer. Was I imagining his underlying tone or was he simply offering to buy me a drink? I finally answered, ¡°A Long Island.¡±


    I didn¡¯t mistake the big brother look Jessie shot me. ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s a good idea? You know it doesn¡¯t take much for those to put you on your ass.¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t forgotten and that¡¯s what I¡¯m shooting for.¡± He didn¡¯t give me any further argument, but I knew he would be watching me like a hawk the rest of the night.


    The guys returned with our drinks and Nick chose to sit in the chair next to me instead of across the table. ¡°Your drink, Milady.¡±


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I politely said before I took a long suck on the straw.


    Nick watched me suck down a quarter of my Long Island. ¡°I believe you are looking to be on your ass or your back tonight.¡±


    I immediately became defensive with the mention of me on my back. ¡°Well, I won¡¯t ever be on my back for you. Sorry if that¡¯s why you bought me the drink or why you came with us.¡±


    I could tell that took him back. ¡°I came because I was invited by a friend, one I¡¯ve known longer than you have, I might add. I also just won a lot of cash so I wanted to celebrate. As for the drink, I bought it for you out of courtesy. I was trying to be a chivalrous gentleman.¡±


    ¡°Well, thank you no matter your motive,¡± I said dryly.


    Nick leaned a little closer to me. ¡°What have I done to make you question my motive?¡±


    I was thankful the music was loud enough that Jessie and Claire couldn¡¯t hear the conversation between me and Nick. ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t know. Maybe it was the way you tried to blackmail me into going out with you or maybe it was the way you tricked me into making a bet to quote spend one night with you unquote. I¡¯m not sure I even know what one night with you means. It could even be the way that girl was all over you at ¡®The Strip¡¯ like she knew every inch of your body or maybe it was the way you grabbed me around my waist and pulled me against you like you had done it a million times. Maybe it was the way you so expertly whispered against my ear to bring chills all over my body.¡±


    That lopsided grin returned. ¡°So you liked it when I pulled you close against me and whispered in your ear?¡±


    Hell yeah, I liked it, but I wasn¡¯t telling him that. ¡°I think you¡¯re hearing what you want to hear.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I am because I definitely want to hear that you liked being close to me, but I¡¯m also hearing that you¡¯re jealous of Samantha.¡±


    This guy was unbelievably arrogant. ¡°Now, you¡¯re really dreaming,¡± I scoffed.


    ¡°We were supposed to get together after the race, but I ditched her to come here with you.¡± He said it so matter of fact, like he deserved some kind of reward for ditching the girl with a mattress tied to her back.


    ¡°Sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to mess up you getting laid tonight,¡± I said sarcastically.


    He looked at me seductively before he turned his beer up for a gulp. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. You didn¡¯t.¡±


    What was that supposed to mean?


    Cooper and Allie headed back to the dance floor and Claire leaned over as Jessie stood up. ¡°Our song is playing so we¡¯re going to dance if you think you¡¯ll be okay.¡±


    They always had to dance to that sappy song. ¡°Sure, take your time.¡± I nodded toward Nick. ¡°I have the Jedi here to keep me company.¡±


    I expected Nick to ask me what my Jedi crack was all about but he didn¡¯t. He leaned back in his chair. ¡°So, they¡¯re in love, huh?¡±


    I put my straw to my lips and took another big gulp. Three-quarters down and all was still well. I was going to have to drink faster than this. ¡°Yep, they¡¯re in love and it¡¯s the real thing. I predict that they¡¯ll be Mr. and Mrs. within two years.¡±


    And I was going to be the ceaseless third wheel. I wondered if they¡¯d invite me to go with them on their honeymoon. I put my drink to my lips and finished it off.


    ¡°Want another?¡± Nick offered.


    ¡°Umm, yes please,¡± I said as I reached for my purse to get some cash since I had gone by the ATM on the way to the club.


    ¡°Nope, I¡¯ve got it covered. Another Long Island?¡±


    I gave him a friendly smile because I felt like I owed him that much. ¡°Yes, please. Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Depending on who makes it, you know Long Islands are almost all alcohol, right?¡±


    I called off the ingredients. ¡°Vodka, Rum, Gin, Tequila, Triple Sec, Sour Mix and a splash of Coke, depending on who makes it.¡±


    He smiled as though he was thoroughly entertained. ¡°Hmm. Something else I didn¡¯t expect to come out of your delicate mouth. You¡¯re just full of surprises.¡±


    ¡°If you knew me, you wouldn¡¯t be the least bit surprised.¡±


    He studied me like I was some kind of ancient mystery and I wanted to ask him what he was thinking but I didn¡¯t because I was afraid he might actually tell me. When the awkward silence and stare passed, he got up from the table. ¡°Be right back. Don¡¯t go anywhere.¡±


    I sat at our table waiting for Nick to come back with our drinks and watched the couples on the dance floor. When Jessie and Claire¡¯s song ended, another sappy love song replaced it and I knew the lovebirds wouldn¡¯t be coming off the floor before it was over.


    Like a guard dog, Jessie monitored me closely from where he danced with Claire. He took notice of me sitting alone and gave me his questioning thumb up signal. He seemed satisfied by my nod and reassuring smile so he returned his concentration to my best friend in his arms.


    Nick had been gone for a while, so I looked toward the bar to see if he was still waiting in line for our drinks and I saw him talking to a girl in a revealing halter top with her boobs all pushed up. He was buying her a drink and I caught myself huffing as I thought about how he was such a Playah. It oozed from his every pore the way he stood leaning onto the bar and then it hit me. He really wasn¡¯t kidding when he told me that I wasn¡¯t getting in the way of him getting laid tonight.


    I turned my head in disgust and a few minutes later Nick returned to our table with our drinks. ¡°Here¡¯s your deuce.¡±


    I don¡¯t know why, but it pissed me off that he was lining up an appointment to get laid while he was buying a drink for me. The more I thought about it, the more pissed I got but I didn¡¯t say anything because this guy didn¡¯t owe me monogamy.


    I simply put my straw to my lips and began to suck down my second Long Island.


    I saw Nick watching my glass. ¡°Hey, you might want to take it easy there or some guy might be getting a drunk dial later tonight.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t sure if it was me or if the alcohol was beginning to talk, but I didn¡¯t have Claire here to be my filter. ¡°Why would you care if I drunk dialed some guy? Jealous?¡±


    ¡°I mind because you¡¯re mine tonight and I don¡¯t plan to share you with anyone.¡±


    4 Truly Madly Deeply


    Nick


    There. Let¡¯s see what she thought about that.


    I managed to shock her and I enjoyed her mixed expression of anger, excitement and bewilderment, but my amusement was short lived because she didn¡¯t hesitate in her retaliation.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand you. Why would you want to waste your time with me because it¡¯s clear that you plan on adding yourself to Miss Black Halter Top¡¯s list of suspects for her next pregnancy scare? Is collecting your debt really that important to you?¡±


    Miss Black Halter Top? Oh, she was talking about my brother¡¯s girlfriend, Gabbi. I opened my mouth to explain, but didn¡¯t get the opportunity because the two deliriously happy couples returned to our table from the dance floor.


    Jessie looked at Payton and then gave me what I recognized as a warning. ¡°What¡¯s going on here?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely nothing is going on here,¡± Payton quickly answered as she watched my eyes for a reaction. She lifted her drink and gave her straw another big suck and I noticed she was over half finished with it. She was definitely drinking to forget something or somebody and I wanted to know which.


    Jessie leaned over to say something to his girlfriend and I took the opportunity to straighten Payton out about Gabbi. ¡°Funny, I sort of thought something was going on here and I don¡¯t mean with my brother¡¯s girlfriend, the girl wearing the black halter top.¡±

 Page 5

    I watched her eyes and waited for her reaction, but again we were interrupted when Dane Wickam walked up and sat at our table. ¡°Hey, Hawke, I didn¡¯t get a chance to talk to you after the race. Nice job blowing the doors off of my Porsche. Congratulations.¡±Advertisement


    I didn¡¯t recall ever being congratulated by an opponent before. ¡°Thanks, Wickam, but you had me for a minute.¡±


    I turned back to Payton and watched her look in every direction, except for mine, causing her long blonde hair to dance across her shoulders and upper back. I wanted to reach out to touch it just to see if it was as soft as it looked and wondered if she would be surprised if I did.


    ¡°Dane, I feel like dancing,¡± Payton said as she reached for his hand with one of hers and used the other to bring her drink to her glossy lips so she could finish it off.


    ¡°Break Your Heart¡± by Taio Cruz and Ludacris was playing and I was glad because I didn¡¯t want Dane holding her close during a slow song. I watched them walk toward the dance floor and Jessie leaned toward me with a warning. ¡°Don¡¯t look at her like that. She¡¯s not your kind of girl.¡±


    Who was this guy? He couldn¡¯t be the Jessie Boone I knew. ¡°Not my kind of girl, Boone? What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡±


    ¡°Payton doesn¡¯t do one night stands like the chicks you¡¯re used to. She¡¯s a different kind of caliber.¡±


    ¡°Who says I¡¯m looking for a one night stand?¡±


    Jessie laughed at me. ¡°We¡¯ve been friends for a long time and I know you, Hawke. You¡¯re always looking for a piece but she¡¯s not gonna be it.¡±


    Things were becoming more and more suspicious of Jessie being the one Payton was trying to forget with the liquor. ¡°Why are you being so protective of her?¡±


    ¡°Payton has been Claire¡¯s best friend forever.¡± He shrugged his shoulders. ¡°Now, she has become one of my best friends and I protect her from guys like you. She¡¯s nursing a wound and she doesn¡¯t need a Playah like you to add fuel to the fire.¡±


    I watched her dancing with Dane. ¡°I can see that she¡¯s different. I knew it the second she got out of her fancy car and strutted toward me in the middle of the road where she plowed into my car.¡± I turned back to Jessie. ¡°I want to ask her out on a real date. What¡¯s it gonna take for you to be okay with that since you seem to be her acting bodyguard?¡±


    He shook his head in disapproval. ¡°There¡¯s nothin¡¯ that would make me be okay with that.¡±


    The arrogant bastard acted as though he was so much different from me. Before this Claire chick came along, I distinctly remember that he was just like me. ¡°Come on, Boone. I promise I won¡¯t try anything with her.¡±


    He shook his head again. ¡°No way. I don¡¯t trust you with her.¡±


    He was being such a pain in the ass. ¡°She¡¯s a big girl and you¡¯re not her daddy. She can make up her own mind about going out with me.¡±


    He sat back and crossed his arms. ¡°I¡¯ve already warned her about you so she¡¯ll never agree.¡±


    Hearing that he had cock blocked me wasn¡¯t news. ¡°Yeah, I gathered that from the way she questions my every move.¡±


    He looked pleased with himself. ¡°Good. That means she listened to me.¡±


    I didn¡¯t need his permission. ¡°I don¡¯t care what you think or what you told her. I¡¯m asking her out.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s had two Long Islands in under an hour. She doesn¡¯t handle liquor well and she¡¯s going to be trashed any minute so I¡¯m giving you the courtesy of a warning. You and I are friends, but we won¡¯t be for long if you take advantage of her. You got it?¡±


    I held my palms up innocently. ¡°I¡¯ve got it, man. I give you my word that I won¡¯t take advantage of her. I will not try to get into her panties tonight.¡± Tonight was the only promise I would make regarding that.


    I looked up and saw Claire sitting down at our table. ¡°You¡¯ll have me to answer to if you do. Then, I¡¯ll turn you over to this one and I promise she¡¯ll make it very painful for you.¡±


    I heard a slow song beginning to play and I killed the rest of my beer before I was on my feet stalking toward Payton and Dane. ¡°I¡¯m cutting in.¡±


    Dane shrugged and looked at Payton for her permission, letting me know they were definitely only friends.


    She¡¯ll rolled her eyes and shook her head. ¡°Sure. Why not?¡±


    Dane let go of Payton and I stepped closer to take her in my arms. She looped her arms loosely around my neck as I placed my hands on her hips and we began to sway to the beat of the music. She peered up into my eyes and with one look I could tell the alcohol was beginning to hit her pretty hard because she had that drunken glaze coming over her eyes.


    She leaned back a little so she could focus on my face better. ¡°You know what? You¡¯re twice as hot when I¡¯m seeing double.¡±


    I¡¯d be thrilled to hear that if she wasn¡¯t trashed or if I hadn¡¯t promised Jessie I wouldn¡¯t get into her panties tonight. ¡°Drinks kicking in, huh?¡±


    ¡°I believe they are and it¡¯s ¡®bout time. I have things I need to forget.¡±


    Jessie said that she was nursing a wound and I wondered what idiot could have been stupid enough to hurt this beautiful girl.


    She tightened her grip around my neck a little more and hung on tighter although I suspected it was more for support than flirtation. ¡°I love this song.¡±


    I had not been paying it any attention, so I carefully listened, but didn¡¯t recognize it. ¡°I¡¯ve never heard it before. What¡¯s the name of it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s ¡®Heaven¡¯ by The Fire Theft.¡±


    I listened to it a little more. ¡°It¡¯s a cool song. I like it.¡±


    She leaned back a little and searched my face with unsteady vision. ¡°Why did you ask me to dance? I¡¯ve been a total bitch to you since the moment we met.¡±


    Because I can¡¯t resist your beauty or your smart ass mouth, but mostly because you intrigue me. ¡°You¡¯re different, nothing like the girls I usually go for.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve always been different. I tried being normal once. It was the worst five minutes of my life.¡±


    ¡°See? Stuff like that is what I really like about you. You¡¯re so damn honest about who you are and you aren¡¯t afraid to call me out on my bullshit.¡±


    Man, I liked that about her. Probably more than I should. She hadn¡¯t made tonight easy for me. Simply trying to talk to her had proven to be difficult and I guessed that the alcohol could be thanked for the friendly nature of the conversation we were currently having.


    ¡°That¡¯s me, Saint Nick. I¡¯ve never been afraid to call bullshit on anyone.¡±


    Saint Nick? I felt my entire body stiffen. I hated being called that, but she made it sound so sweetly intoxicating the way it rolled off of her tongue and I almost forgot the painful reason I hated it so much.


    I stopped dancing and stared at her face looking for the answer. ¡°Why did you call me Saint Nick? I thought I was Jedi or Poppycock or something like that.¡± I tried to be casual about it and I hoped she couldn¡¯t see the way she shook me to my core.


    ¡°It¡¯s not near as funny if I have to explain it. I was being a smart ass because you¡¯re the total opposite of a Saint, or at least that¡¯s what Jessie told me.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t like to be called that,¡± I whispered, but I wasn¡¯t sure she heard me and I wasn¡¯t sure I meant for her to. I reached for a lock of hair in her face and pushed it away. As I stared at her, I thought she couldn¡¯t be more beautiful than she was in that moment, but then she smiled as she began to sway to the music again and proved my whole theory wrong.


    ¡°You¡¯re so beautiful.¡± I blurted it out without thinking and was shocked by my own absentmindedness. Where had that come from? I had never told a girl anything like that before.


    She didn¡¯t say a word as she stared into my eyes with a determination to figure me out and the thing she thought I was hiding.


    This was a night of firsts for me. I told a girl she was beautiful and I meant it. Now, I was about to ask her out on a date because I liked her and she was interesting, not because I was planning to get her in my backseat.


    ¡°I would really like to take you out. I know Jessie has told you to be leery of me, but I promise to be on my best behavior. I¡¯ll be a saint and you can choose where we go and what we do. Dinner? Movie? You name it. We¡¯ll do anything you want.¡±


    Pleading with a girl for a date wasn¡¯t my scene and it sort of made me feel like a loser, but then I realized how ridiculous I looked standing there hoping she¡¯d agree. She searched my face for a moment and then whispered, ¡°No.¡±


    I just thought I felt ridiculous before. Now, I felt downright humiliated. ¡°No? You¡¯re turning me down just like that without any consideration? Why?¡±


    ¡°You act like this is the first time you¡¯ve ever been told ¡®no¡¯.¡±


    ¡°By a girl, yeah.¡±


    She stopped swaying and looked me straight in my eyes. She was trashed, but managed to not slur too badly. ¡°How many girls have you gone through?¡±


    My experience with chicks had always made me proud and maybe even a little arrogant, but suddenly I wasn¡¯t so thrilled by the notches on my bedpost because I could feel that it was about to cost me this girl. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I shrugged, feeling defeated.


    ¡°And that¡¯s why I can¡¯t go out with you. I¡¯m not going to become a number you can¡¯t identify. It¡¯s not what I¡¯m looking for.¡±


    I was sure I didn¡¯t have a shot in hell at being what she wanted, yet I needed the confirmation in case I was wrong. ¡°Tell me what you¡¯re looking for.¡±


    Her smile was breathtakingly beautiful. ¡°I want truly, madly, deeply.¡±


    Oh, of course. She wanted lovey dovey. She wanted her kisses to be slow and romantic instead of fast and needy. She wanted everlasting love, which was something I didn¡¯t offer. Love was overrated and nature used it to kick us in the gut and trick us into reproducing.

 Page 6

    ¡°I want what Claire has with Jessie.¡±Advertisement


    I should run from any girl openly telling me she wanted love, but I found I didn¡¯t want to. There was something about her that drew me in and wouldn¡¯t let go.


    If I was going to talk her into going out with me, I needed her to see that I was no different than Jessie used to be. This could quite possibly play out in my favor. ¡°Jessie and I aren¡¯t that different. I can promise you that he couldn¡¯t give Claire a number if she asked for it.¡±


    She smiled the sweetest smile and I wondered what had crossed her mind. ¡°Maybe not, but she¡¯s the only number that counts. His last.¡±


    I pushed another stubborn strand of hair from her face. ¡°Jessie and Claire had to start somewhere, right? I¡¯m sure there was a first date somewhere in the mix.¡±


    I knew it would be laying it on a little thick, but I went ahead and threw in, ¡°Besides, you don¡¯t know that you aren¡¯t my only number that counts. Maybe you¡¯re my last.¡±


    ¡°Wow.¡± She shifted her jaw to the side. ¡°You¡¯re not as bad as Jessie said. You¡¯re much, much worse.¡±


    Jessie may have cock blocked me, but I knew how to manipulate this situation. I was educated on how to get the girl because I had done it so many times. I also knew that the alcohol was getting to her a little more and I shamelessly planned to use that to my advantage. I slid my palms from the sides of her hips to the small of her back and pulled her closer. I leaned in to her ear and whispered against it because she had already as much as admitted how much it turned her on.


    ¡°We have this crazy attraction thing going on and we didn¡¯t even have to work for it. It just happened naturally. It¡¯s more work to keep it under control than it is to just go with it. What if we¡¯re perfect for each other and we missed out on the opportunity because we didn¡¯t try things out? That would be a tragedy.¡±


    She didn¡¯t give me an immediate ¡®no,'' so I took that as a good sign and continued my attempt to persuade her. ¡°All I¡¯m asking for is a chance. One date and I vow to be on my best behavior. Cross my heart.¡±


    Our slow song ended and ¡®Scream¡¯ by Usher came on, but I didn¡¯t let her go as we stood in the middle of the dance floor and I waited for her to agree.


    ¡°No.¡± That was all she gave me as she pushed away from me and then I watched her as she left me on the dance floor without looking back.


    5 Sweet Dreams Doll Face


    Payton


    Gah, I could hurl at any moment. Yeah, I definitely drank those Long Islands too fast, but I couldn''t blame Cooper entirely for this whirlwind drunk. What started as a mission to forget about him quickly turned into something else. Something called Nick Hawke and I wasn¡¯t ready for that so soon after Cooper.


    When I stumbled back to our table, Jessie took one look at my face and knew something had happened between me and his Collinsville friend. ¡°What did Hawke do to you?¡±


    He really did assume the worst out of his friend and I almost felt obligated to defend him. ¡°He didn¡¯t do anything except ask me out on a date.¡±


    ¡°Tell me you turned him down.¡±


    ¡°Of course, I did.¡± I nodded as I answered and that was a mistake because it made me feel like I needed to worship the porcelain god. My alcohol level had climbed suddenly and the room began to spin so I reached for the table to steady myself. I shouldn¡¯t have had those Long Islands that fast. My mistake.


    ¡°You okay?¡± Claire asked as she got up from her seat to stand at my side and I grabbed her arm for support.


    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± I lied. ¡°I¡¯m going to step outside for a minute and get a little fresh air.¡± I really didn¡¯t want to be in this club when my stomach contents decided to blow.


    Jessie got up from the table to act as my escort. ¡°You¡¯re not going outside to a club parking lot alone, so don¡¯t even think about it. You¡¯re not badass enough for that no matter what you think.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take her,¡± I heard Nick volunteer from behind me. ¡°Stay and have a good time with your girl.¡±


    No way. I didn¡¯t want Nick with me when I blew chunks. ¡°I really don¡¯t want you to be a witness to what¡¯s probably going to happen out there, Dude.¡±


    He took me by the arm and started walking me toward the exit without my permission or objection. ¡°We¡¯ll consider it a bonding experience.¡±


    ¡°The only thing you should consider yourself is warned because I¡¯m predicting this will get ugly,¡± Once outside, I was a little disoriented, but Nick led me in the direction of my car. ¡°It¡¯s so freakin¡¯ hot out here. All I want to do is sit in my car with some cold air blowing on my face. I think that will make me feel better.¡±


    I used my keyless entry to unlock my car and Nick opened my door for me. I started the engine and turned the A/C to full blast with the vents aimed right at my face. My hair was blowing wildly in every direction but I didn¡¯t try to tame it. I was just too freakin¡¯ sick to care.


    He walked around to the passenger side and sat next to me. He turned to look at me as my hair blew wildly. ¡°You¡¯re wasted and you better not try to drive tonight or I¡¯ll beat you black and blue.¡±


    Did this guy think I was suicidal? ¡°I may be drunk but I¡¯m not stupid. Jessie isn¡¯t drinking because he¡¯s our driver tonight. It was my turn to be the DD but apparently he thought I needed to get trashed and take a vacation from my pathetic life for a brief moment in time.¡±


    He leaned forward and turned his passenger side vents in my direction. ¡°Yeah, what¡¯s up with that? Anyone can see that you¡¯re looking to drown the thoughts of someone. Who¡¯s the lucky bastard?¡±


    I leaned in closer to the vents in the center. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I want to talk about it.¡±


    He leaned closer to me toward the center of the car and I¡¯d almost swear he sniffed my hair. ¡°Let me guess. Some dumb ass hurt you and you¡¯re drinking to forget about him?¡±


    ¡°You could say that. I got dumped.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s out of his mind, whoever he is. Who should I be thanking?¡±


    I don¡¯t know why, but Nick had this way of making me want to tell him what had gone down with Cooper. ¡°My Ex-holes¡¯s name is Cooper Sinclaire. He was the guy sitting at our table hanging all over the brunette.¡±


    He looked at me in disbelief. ¡°You¡¯re shitting me, right? You mean that pansy sitting at the table with us? You can¡¯t mean that you got dumped by a guy that chose to dress in Polo khakis and a Polo button-up for a dance club? Doll Face, his plaid shirt is pastel. I said pastel and he¡¯s wearing loafers. I bet he¡¯s even wearing lacy panties under his wrinkle-free twills.¡±


    I pictured Cooper in a pair of frilly panties and began laughing. If Nick was trying to make me feel better, it was definitely working.


    ¡°So, what happened?¡±


    ¡°He gave me an ultimatum. Have sex or get dumped. The funny thing is that I was ready. I was going to do it until he told me I had to and something snapped in me. I¡¯m not known for giving in to other peoples¡¯ demands.¡±


    ¡°You have really low standards if you went out with that dude so it gives me hope that you will eventually say ¡®yes¡¯ to me. I¡¯m gonna ask you again when I think you¡¯re ready, but not tonight because my poor heart can only take rejection in small doses.¡± That caught my attention and I turned to look at him. ¡°You don¡¯t realize it yet, but we¡¯re gonna happen.¡±


    His persistence was sexy. Hell, everything about this guy was sexy and I felt like I wanted to...puke. I quickly reached for the handle on my door and hung my head out of my car just in time to miss spraying the inside of my car like ¡°The Exorcist.¡± Nick quickly sprung into action and was on my side of the car holding my hair out of the line of fire in a flash.


    I felt wretched. I heaved time and time again in the direction of Nick¡¯s shoes but they stayed firmly planted, prepared to endure a punishment they clearly did not earn.


    I felt like I was finished heaving, but I was afraid to move for fear of the motion bringing on another round. I was still looking at the ground when it struck me to ask Nick about his motives. ¡°Why do you want to go out with me? You¡¯ve only known me a few hours and in that time I¡¯ve insulted you, rejected you, told you my sob story and now you¡¯ve been forced to hold my hair for me while I hurled pizza and Long Islands dangerously close to your shoes.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t force me to hold your hair. I did it because I wanted to.¡±


    Classic. He managed to flex his tough guy muscle and dodge answering my question at the same time.


    Some of my hair fell forward and Nick situated it into a ponytail on top of my head held in place by his fist. I was certain anyone walking by would have thought he was impersonating a caveman holding on to his woman.


    I took some deep breaths and felt like I could finally lift my head without yacking. Nick let go of my hair as I straightened up and I looked for a place clear of partially digested pizza and Long Islands so I could step out of my car.


    I was sure I looked like hell with mascara raccooning under my eyes, but I just couldn¡¯t bring myself to care. ¡°I¡¯m getting in the backseat since Jessie is driving.¡±


    He moved back so I could step over the puddle of puke. ¡°You could at least be honest about it. You¡¯re getting in the backseat so you can pass out.¡±


    I could see that I would never have to wonder what this guy was thinking. We could be dangerous for another. He opened the back door behind the driver¡¯s seat and motioned with his hand like a chauffeur. He was honest so I guess I would be, too. ¡°Okay. I¡¯m getting in the backseat so I can pass out, but I don¡¯t need you to stay with me. I¡¯ll lock the doors and you go back inside. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving you out here alone.¡± He shut my door and then got into the driver¡¯s seat. ¡°I¡¯m moving your car to a different parking space so Jessie doesn¡¯t unknowingly wade through your puke to get in. That would not be cool.¡±

 Page 7

    He pulled my car around to the back of the club and then turned on some music before he got out and slid into the backseat next to me. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m not going to try anything with you.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t worried.¡± I had done a bang up job of preventing this thing with Nick from going any further tonight because no one wanted a post puke kiss, no matter how hard up they were.


    I shut my eyes as I leaned my head against the cool window and felt Nick grab my upper arm and gently tug me in his direction. ¡°Here, put your head in my lap. You¡¯ll be more comfortable and you¡¯ll sleep better.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, but I¡¯m okay.¡±


    ¡°Put. Your. Head. On. My. Lap. Stubborn. I¡¯m not going to try anything with you,¡± he promised.


    I hated being bossed, but I did as he said and lay on my side, putting the side of my face against his thighs. I told myself I did it because I was tired and needed the sleep so I wouldn¡¯t be so hung-over the next day, not because it was what he ordered me to do.


    My favorite Amos Lee song was playing and it helped me relax. As I lay there with my eyes closed, Nick began to stroke my hair and it felt really good. I began to relax more and was almost on the verge of nodding off when he asked, ¡°What song is this?¡±


    I loved his interest in my music. ¡°It¡¯s ¡®Southern Girl¡¯ by Amos Lee.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re really into music, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    Amos was singing about Mississippi mornings and angels in flight. ¡°Yeah, you could say that I¡¯m musically slutty. My taste in music gets around.¡±


    ¡°I like this song because Amos got it spot on. There¡¯s definitely something about a Southern girl that makes me feel right.¡±


    ¡°Listening to Amos while you stroke my hair like that is going to put me in a coma if you¡¯re not careful.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving so you can go to sleep if you want. It¡¯s probably a good idea for you to sleep because you¡¯re going to feel like shit tomorrow and I¡¯m guessing Jessie and Claire aren¡¯t leaving the club anytime soon.¡±


    I probably needed to rest, but my current curiosity was stronger than my need for sleep. ¡°I will, but I want to ask you something first.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    I wanted to turn onto my back so I could see his face, but I was too scared so I stayed on my side. ¡°Why do you call me Doll Face?¡±


    He was quiet for a long time and I decided he wasn¡¯t going to answer, but then he shocked me. ¡°Because I think you¡¯re the most beautiful girl I¡¯ve ever seen.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know how to respond to that coming from him. I had been told my whole life how beautiful I was, but there was something different about the way he said it. It felt intimate, like he was talking about more than my physical appearance and I suddenly felt completely bared to him.


    He didn¡¯t say anything else and I didn¡¯t either as he sat with my head in his lap but things felt different between us. Neither of us voiced recognition regarding it, but we both knew that we had made a connection.


    He continued to stroke my hair and I have no idea how long he did it because I eventually dosed off but not before I heard him whisper, ¡°Sweet Dreams, Doll Face.¡±


    6 Brotherly Advice


    Nick


    I could sit forever with this beautiful girl¡¯s head in my lap and stroke my hand over her long silky hair as she slept. I leaned over to sniff the fruity scent of her hair. My shift of position caused her to stir and then she turned onto her back to face me.


    Her breath was slow and steady, assuring me that she was sleeping deeply, and I couldn¡¯t resist my urge to touch her face. I stroked the back of my fingers against her baby soft cheek and she turned toward my hand and nestled against it.


    This couldn¡¯t be the last time I was with this amazing girl. I had to see her again because I would go crazy if I didn¡¯t.


    Jessie had already made his stand on the issue clear and I couldn¡¯t count on him to help me out so I started brainstorming on a way to get her digits. I looked over at her opened purse within my reach and knew what I had to do. I was going to get her number by calling my own phone from hers. It felt wrong to ramble through her personal belongings, but it didn¡¯t stop me from doing it.


    I found her cell and pushed the power button. Shit. I should have known she¡¯d have it on lockdown with a pass code. I put her phone back in her purse without a minute to spare as Jessie, Claire and Dane walked toward her car at the back of the building.


    Jessie angrily slung the car door open and immediately tore into me. ¡°This isn¡¯t where Payton¡¯s car was parked. What have you been doing with her?¡±


    I recognized his unspoken accusation and knew he was insinuating that I moved the car behind the building so I could screw Payton in the backseat. Any other time he would have been right, but not tonight, not with her.


    ¡°Chill out, Boone. I had to move the car because she puked a river by the driver¡¯s side door. I didn¡¯t want you to have to walk in it and this was the only parking spot open.¡±


    He accepted my explanation, but I could tell that he still wasn¡¯t thrilled about finding me in the backseat with Payton¡¯s head in my lap.


    ¡°Claire¡¯s ready to go. Do you need a lift home?¡±


    I looked down at Payton. I didn¡¯t want to leave her but it would be stupid for them to drive me all the way back to Collinsville when I could catch a ride home with my brother. ¡°Nah, I¡¯ll ride home with Jake and Gabbi.¡±


    I opened the door and gently lifted Payton¡¯s head as I got out of the car. Dane Wickham stepped around me and said, ¡°I¡¯ve got her,¡± as he replaced me in the backseat. I¡¯ll be damned. I¡¯d have taken Jessie up on the ride if I¡¯d known another dude was going to climb into the backseat with her.


    ¡°It was nice to meet you, Nick,¡± Claire said as she got into the car. ¡°And thanks for staying with Payton so Jessie and I could have a good time.¡±


    I definitely had my own agenda for doing it. ¡°No problem and it was nice to meet the only girl in this world that could settle this guy down.¡±


    Claire was inside the car with the door shut and Jessie told me, ¡°Thanks again, Hawke. I know that babysitting Mouth of the South couldn¡¯t have been much fun when you could have been finding a chick to nail later tonight.¡±


    It was crazy to think that I preferred to have this sleeping girl¡¯s head in my lap rather than finding someone to bone, but there was no place I would have rather been. ¡°Really, it was no problem at all.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know how we¡¯re gonna get her upstairs.¡±


    He was out of his mind if he was going to take her inside her house. ¡°You¡¯re going to carry her into her house? Aren¡¯t you afraid of what her parents will do?¡±


    ¡°No, she¡¯s spending the night with us because her parents are out of town.¡±


    What the hell? ¡°What do you mean by spending the night with us?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been living with Claire and her parents for the last six months, so that means we get to carry her up the stairs to Claire¡¯s bedroom and pray we don¡¯t wake The Deverauxs.


    That lucky bastard. He and Claire were definitely sneaking into each other¡¯s beds every night after the parents were asleep.


    Jessie put his fist out and I bumped it with mine. ¡°Good running into you, Hawke.¡± He looked at Payton passed out across the back seat. ¡°Tonight was fun even if she did show her ass. We should get together again soon.¡±


    Dane¡¯s window was down. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m having a party at my house tomorrow night. You should come.¡±


    There was only one reason I¡¯d step foot at a party at East Franklin. ¡°Is Payton going to be there?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, the Social Butterfly never misses a party.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t miss an opportunity to see her again. ¡°Count me in.¡±


    Sure, Payton told me she wouldn¡¯t go out with me, but she was wrong about that. She just didn¡¯t know it yet.


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    I stared at my ceiling thinking of Payton for hours after I got home. Thinking about her was far better than any dream that might have invaded my head during sleep.


    She was beautiful, that was a given, and her beauty certainly didn¡¯t hinder my interest but that wasn¡¯t what fueled my attraction to her. It was her immediate distaste for me and her smart ass mouth. Oh, how I loved to hear the sarcastic wit spilling from those venomously, glossy lips.


    I was surprised I was able to sleep at all, but when I woke the next morning I rolled over and immediately reached for my phone on the nightstand. I guessed I hoped that Payton had gotten my number from Jessie and had texted or called, maybe to say thank you for sitting with her or something. Any form of contact would have made my day, but I had no such luck. All I had was a text from Samantha Hodges that read, ¡°Get 2gether 2nite? Make it worth your while.¡±


    There was no way in hell that Samantha and I were ever happening again, so I quickly thumbed, ¡°Got plans,¡± and hit the send button. Maybe she would take the hint and get lost.


    I looked at the time and saw that I had slept later than I thought because it was a little after eleven. Anything after ten should be considered neutral ground, so I scrolled to Jessie¡¯s contact in my phone and hit the call button. It rang once, twice and then a third time before Jessie answered on the fourth ring, ¡°Waddup, Hawke?¡±


    ¡°Hey, I was calling to see how everything went after you left last night. I mean, did you get Payton to bed okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but she didn¡¯t make it easy on me and Claire. Shit, I didn¡¯t realize how trashed she was, but we lucked out and got her in without the Deverauxs waking up.¡±


    ¡°Is she still there?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I¡¯m working at the garage today but I went by Claire¡¯s room this morning before I left for work and she was asleep on Claire¡¯s bathroom floor. I¡¯m betting she¡¯s still in bed taking it easy.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t gonna like this, but I had to give it a shot. ¡°I wanna call her.¡±

 Page 8

    I heard him huff through the phone. ¡°I think Payton made it clear she doesn¡¯t plan on going out with you and I¡¯m not letting you hold her to that hinky bet.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Come on, Boone, she was too trashed for us to have a real conversation last night and all I need is half a chance to convince her to go out with me. I bet there wasn¡¯t anyone who thought you were right for Claire and look how wrong they were.¡±


    I heard silence on the other end and I knew he was thinking it over. ¡°I¡¯ll give you her number, but I¡¯m telling you now that she doesn¡¯t do Collinsville dudes. She likes her guys preppy and rich so be prepared for rejection because she doesn¡¯t sugar coat anything for anybody.¡±


    I was positive that there was a time when Claire didn¡¯t do Collinsville guys either, but look at who was living with her and climbing into her bed every night. ¡°Consider me forewarned.¡±


    I hung up from making plans with Jessie about meeting up before Dane¡¯s party and looked at Payton¡¯s number. I felt nervous when I thought about calling her but it didn''t stop me from dialing her number. I listened to five rings before it went to voicemail and then realized calling her this early after the drunk she pulled last night was a stupid idea because she was probably still in bed nursing a hellacious headache.


    I couldn¡¯t convince myself to hang up before I had the chance to listen to her sweet voice on her voicemail recording say, ¡°Hi, leave me a message and if I don¡¯t call you back, it means I¡¯m not interested.¡± Even her voicemail greeting was smart ass.


    I hung up without leaving a message. I told myself it was probably better to wait and see her tonight at Dane¡¯s party instead of waking an angry beast but the truth was that I was scared. I was afraid of leaving a message and never hearing back from her because she wasn¡¯t interested in me.


    I was busy thinking about my next move when I heard Jake tap on my bedroom doorway. ¡°Hey, Dickhead! I¡¯m taking the boat out on the lake today. You wanna come?¡±


    I probably needed a way to pass the day so I didn¡¯t spend it fixated on a beautiful blonde with honey brown eyes. ¡°Sure, I¡¯m in.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯m leaving in half an hour if you¡¯re riding with me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be ready.¡±


    An hour later, we were on the water. I always had a blast at the lake with Jake, Gabbi and her hot friends but today was different. It seemed to drag as I impatiently waited for Dane¡¯s party tonight.


    I felt a fist to my upper arm. ¡°Dayum, little brother. What is with you today? You haven¡¯t said two words and you¡¯re not hitting on any of Gabbi¡¯s friends. What gives?¡±


    I shook my head but stared ahead. I was not telling him that I had become obsessed with a chick. ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    Jake plopped down in the sand next to me and I knew that meant he wasn¡¯t leaving without an answer. He shook his head like a dog and then shoved his wet hair away from his face. ¡°Don¡¯t lie to me, you little Piss Ant. Something is up with you and I want to know what it is.¡±


    Fine, he could laugh if he wanted. ¡°It¡¯s a chick.¡±


    ¡°Let me guess. The leggy blonde you were with on the dance floor last night at the club?¡±


    I didn¡¯t care for his description of her, even if it was dead on. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s the one.¡±


    ¡°She was one smokin¡¯ hot chick, but is she hot enough for you to break your own rule?¡±


    I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I pretended I didn¡¯t. ¡°And what rule would that be?¡±


    ¡°Come on, Nick. Everyone knows that you don¡¯t have any use for a chick after you screw her and I know for a fact that you walked out the front door with her and didn¡¯t come back for almost two hours.¡±


    I could see how he might get the wrong idea about me and Payton. ¡°I didn¡¯t sleep with her.¡±


    Jake started laughing at me. ¡°Since when do you call it sleeping with them?¡±


    ¡°Since I met her, okay?¡± I reached for my sunglasses on top of my head and put them over my eyes so I could hide behind them. ¡°She¡¯s different.¡±


    ¡°I get why you¡¯re sniffing around her but she¡¯s not the right kind of different for you, kiddo. She¡¯s a hot piece but what makes her different from the chicks you usually do is that she¡¯s a different breed. I took one look at her and knew she was rich and uppity. Take my advice and stick to what you know and what won¡¯t get you in trouble.¡±


    I dropped my head as I shook it and stared at the wet sand. ¡°I don¡¯t think I can stay away from her.¡±


    ¡°Like always, you¡¯re thinking with the wrong head, Little Brother, but make no mistake. Your fascination with screwing this uptown girl is going to get you into serious trouble.¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t about sleeping with her. Don¡¯t get me wrong. I definitely would, but that¡¯s not what I¡¯m after.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know this chick. You just met her. You can¡¯t possibly think you¡¯re falling for her.¡±


    I continued to look ahead and didn¡¯t comment either way but I could see his stare out of my peripheral vision. ¡°Shit, Nick. She¡¯s just like Mom and look at how things turned out between her and Dad. He was never good enough for her or her rich family and she left all of us because of it. You and Dallas don¡¯t remember what it was like when she left because y''all were so young, but I won¡¯t ever forget it. This chick is trouble and you¡¯d be doin¡¯ yourself a favor to not forget that anytime soon.¡±


    ¡°Duly noted, Brother¡± I replied through my clenched teeth as I refused to look at him.


    The rest of my day at the lake consisted of avoiding Jake because I didn¡¯t want to hear how he thought he knew everything about Payton Archer and her type. He didn¡¯t have a clue what he was talking about when it came to her. Payton was nothing like Mom, even if she did call me Saint Nick.


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    I met Jessie and Claire at a convenience store in Franklin and followed them in her fancy convertible to Dane¡¯s house on the most Eastern side of town. As we drove, it became more and more apparent that the further east you lived, the richer you were so it was an understatement to say that Dane¡¯s family was very Eastern.


    After we parked on the side of the driveway stretching to Dane¡¯s house, I looked at the enormous mansion before me. I studied it as we walked up the drive and wondered why anyone would need a house that size. I looked at every luxury car we passed on the walk toward the house, but not a one of them was Payton¡¯s Lexus. ¡°Is Payton already here?


    ¡°She should be. Dane and his brother, Paxton, came by around four and picked her up.¡±


    It didn¡¯t sit well with me that Payton left Claire¡¯s house with two guys but I guess I didn¡¯t have much of a say about it.


    We walked around to the back of the house through a gate where there was a huge crowd of people hanging out. I immediately began to scan the crowd looking for the only one that drew me here, but I didn¡¯t see her anywhere.


    ¡°Looks like I¡¯m gonna have a bigger turnout than I expected.¡±


    I recognized Dane¡¯s voice and turned to see him standing next to us with two red plastic cups of beer in his hands. They both were fresh pours because each had huge foamy heads floating just below the rims and he passed one to me. ¡°Here, have a beer.¡±


    There was no way I¡¯d be able to fit all these people at my place. ¡°Yeah, this is a pretty big crowd to have at your house at one time.¡±


    ¡°If they keep showing up, I may have to send my bro¡¯ for another keg. Speaking of which, I probably should check on it and see how fast the beer is going because it would totally suck to run out.¡±


    ¡°Hey, ya¡¯ know where Payton is?¡± I called out to Dane as he walked toward the keg.


    ¡°Inside,¡± he called over his shoulder and pointed to a window to my left.


    I looked through the window and saw Payton in the kitchen. She was sitting up on the countertop picking at the label on the bottled water in her hand and I took that as a sure sign she was probably still not feeling well from last night¡¯s attempt to forget the pansy in the pastel shirt.


    She looked as though there were a thousand places she¡¯d rather be and I dreamed of how I might be the one to take her to any one of them.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be fooled by her moping act.¡± I turned and saw Claire by my side. ¡°She was never into Cooper.¡±


    ¡°I think you need to convince her of that,¡± I argued.


    ¡°She¡¯s a smart girl. She¡¯ll figure it out.¡±


    I looked back at Claire¡¯s beautiful best friend through the window and winced.


    ¡°It would take a little while for her to get over all of this nonsense on her own, but I think a little help from the right guy could have her over it by tomorrow.¡±


    What was that supposed to mean? Was she encouraging me to go after Payton? ¡°What are you telling me, Claire?¡±


    She took a drink from her glass, peered over the rim at me and then nodded in Payton¡¯s direction. ¡°I¡¯m telling you to be the right guy. Be the one that makes her see that she never cared ¡®bout Cooper and she¡¯s mourning something that was never there.¡±


    I was sure I looked like a deer in headlights as I stared at her and I wondered what Jessie would say about all of this. ¡°Why would you encourage me to go after your best friend when I know Jessie has told you about me? I¡¯m not known for being inexperienced.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what Jessie has said because I¡¯ve seen the way you look at her.¡±


    What could she possibly know about the way I looked at Payton? ¡°And just how do I look at her?¡±


    ¡°The way Jessie looks at me.¡± A feather could have knocked me over as she described her observations to me. ¡°Like just now when you were watching her through the window, you were smiling and I bet you didn¡¯t even realize it.¡±


    No, I hadn¡¯t realized I was smiling, but I had realized how happy I was to find her.


    I was sure that Claire didn¡¯t know about the things Payton and I had discussed last night. Her best friend didn¡¯t want me because of the way I had treated girls in the past and I didn¡¯t blame her. She had no guarantee she wouldn¡¯t become the next unidentifiable number and it was my own stupid fault.

 Page 9

    ¡°I asked her out and she turned me down cold.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°So, you¡¯re gonna accept her first refusal and give up on her, just like that? I didn¡¯t take you for such an easy defeat.¡±


    In no form or fashion was I an easy defeat and I recognized a challenge when I heard one. ¡°No, I hadn¡¯t planned to give up. I just hadn¡¯t made a plan B yet. Since you seem to be so determined I do this, do you have any ideas for me?¡±


    She didn¡¯t hesitate. ¡°It drives me insane but she¡¯s a total textaholic. I think you should send her a cutesy message.¡±


    I shook my head at her. ¡°No way. I don¡¯t do cutesy messages.¡±


    She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t ask for my advice if you¡¯re not going to take it.¡±


    Yikers, this side of Claire was a little scary. ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll send her a cutesy text,¡± I relinquished and then realized I had no idea what constituted cutesy. ¡°Explain cutesy.¡±


    ¡°Are you kidding me? Jessie told me you were a ladies¡¯ man. Do you really not know how to woo a girl?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t do wooing because I don¡¯t have to.¡±


    ¡°Payton wants and needs someone romantic, so wooing will be a requirement. Be prepared.¡±


    Wooing. What a ridiculous word, but I guessed I could go along with it. ¡°Any more suggestions?¡±


    ¡°Sorry. Here comes Jessie so you¡¯ll have to figure it out on your own.¡±


    7 Is Bullshit One Word or Two?


    Payton


    I still felt like crap and it really sucked to be a drinking party when you couldn¡¯t drink. I was debating blowing the whole thing off when my phone vibrated with a new text from an unknown. ¡°U look beautiful 2nite.¡±


    My forehead unconsciously wrinkled as confusion and curiosity set in. 555-9143. I didn¡¯t know who the number belonged to but I recognized it as the number for the missed call I had this morning.


    I could ignore it, but I was like a cat too curious for its own good. ¡°How would U no?


    My phone vibrated. ¡°Cuz I CU.¡±


    Okay, I didn¡¯t know if I should feel flattered or creeped out, but I was leaning more toward creeped out. ¡°Who is this?¡±


    A few seconds later, ¡°Saint Nick,¡± appeared on my phone.


    A smile crept across my face when I remembered calling him that last night. I also vaguely remembered something about him telling me he didn¡¯t like it and I wondered why he was so touchy.


    I looked up from my phone to scan for him, but he wasn¡¯t in the kitchen so I slid off the countertop and walked into the living room. No luck. He could see me, but wasn¡¯t making an appearance, so that meant he was hiding from me.


    I quickly texted back,¡°Where RU Stalker?¡±


    I continued looking around the house as I waited for his next text.


    Buzz. ¡°Outside.¡±


    I never liked hide and seek. I went outside to the backyard and didn¡¯t see him anywhere. I made my rounds through the crowd of people until I passed the pool and still didn¡¯t find him. He wanted to be chased, but I wasn¡¯t into that kind of thing and he had wasted enough of my time.


    ¡°Don¡¯t CU. I¡¯m leaving.¡± I hit the send button.


    My phone quickly beeped and vibrated again. ¡°Front of house.¡±


    Yeah, I thought he¡¯d get more specific if I threatened to leave. Guys were so predictable and like putty in girls¡¯ hands.


    Rather than go back through the house and come out the front door where he expected, I walked around the side of the house so I could catch him off guard; just the way I wanted him. I was all about equality. If he could spy on me, I could spy on him.


    I found him casually leaning against a column on the front of the house as he waited for me to come through the front door to meet him. He tried to look nonchalant with his arms folded across his chest but he was entirely unsuccessful because there could never be anything casual about how sexy he was.


    I huffed at my inner thoughts and mentally slapped my own hand. Gah! Why did I have to be so attracted to this guy? He was a street racing man-whore and I¡¯m sure the only future he looked forward to was his next race and his next lay.


    The music was loud so he didn¡¯t hear me sneak up behind him and I couldn¡¯t resist the urge to goose him so I reached out and poked my finger right into that ticklish spot everyone has on their ribs. ¡°Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?¡±


    He jumped and whipped around as I backed away and then he smiled that lopsided grin. ¡°You little sneak! You think that was funny, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t control my laughter. ¡°Yep, I sure do and you would too if you could have seen the way you jumped.¡±


    He came down the front steps and stood in front of me with his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans as he looked at my purse on my shoulder. ¡°Leavin¡¯ so soon?¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t decided. I was kicking the idea around when I got your text.¡±


    ¡°You should definitely leave this party. With me, that is.¡±


    This guy was a piece of work. He really expected me to take off with him. ¡°I just met you last night and I don¡¯t recall getting to know you all that well so why would I do that?¡±


    ¡°First of all, you owe me two more wishes according to your own admission, Genie. Second, you could use the time to get to know me better.¡±


    ¡°Why do I need to know you better?¡±


    There they were; those dimples I adored and I wondered what provoked them to make their appearance. ¡°So our first date won¡¯t be so awkward.¡±


    He was hot, but I wasn¡¯t falling for his routine. ¡°There¡¯s no way I could fool myself into thinking you might be a good idea.¡±


    He took his hands out of his pockets and reached for mine. ¡°Many great ideas have happened by mistake.¡±


    I looked down at his hands grasping mine. That might be true, but I wasn¡¯t willing to take that chance because my last mistake was still fresh on my mind. ¡°I don¡¯t need more mistakes in my life.¡±


    He let go of one of my hands and put two of his fingers under my chin to lift it. He had the dreamiest brown eyes and I was jealous of his long lashes. ¡°Payton, we¡¯re gonna happen. You should know that up front.¡±


    No! I would not be fooled by the likes of a Playah like Nick Hawke. ¡°Is bullshit one word or two?¡±


    ¡°You have one smart ass mouth on you and I¡¯m not gonna lie about it; I really want to kiss it, but I won¡¯t because you¡¯re not ready.¡±


    ¡°What makes you think I¡¯ll ever be ready?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m choosing to use my second wish on you leaving this party with me, so that means I only have one wish left and I¡¯ll be saving it for our first kiss. I¡¯ll let you know when I¡¯m ready to redeem it. So, do you need to let Claire and Jessie know that you¡¯re leaving with me?¡±


    Geez, he was presumptuous. I should have told him I wouldn¡¯t go anywhere with him, but that wasn¡¯t what I did at all.


    ¡°No, I¡¯ll text Claire.¡± I didn¡¯t want to have that discussion right now. I mean the one where I had to explain how I had lost my mind when I decided to leave with the Sex Tricks Jedi.


    ¡°Leaving w/ Nick. Call U Later.¡±


    My thumb hesitated over the send button. Gah! She and Jessie were going to go apeshit about me leaving with him and that¡¯s why I waited to hit the send button until Nick and I were getting into his car.


    He pulled the big heavy door open for me and I felt like I ungracefully fell into the seat when I got in because it was so much lower than my Lexus. ¡°Whoa, I wasn¡¯t expecting that kind of drop.¡±


    ¡°What? You mean my car being low profile?¡±


    ¡°Low profile?¡± I laughed. ¡°Sure, we¡¯ll say low profile if that¡¯s what you want to call it.¡±


    ¡°What would you call it?¡±


    I definitely wasn¡¯t a short, little petite girl like Claire. ¡°Ass dragging on the ground is what I¡¯d call it.¡± I stretched out one of my long legs toward Nick. ¡°Have you seen how long my legs are? I¡¯m five-seven and most of that is in these legs.¡±


    His eyes darted down to my ankle and slowly followed my leg up to where my shorts started, making me decide that my move might not have been such a great idea.


    ¡°Are you kiddin¡¯ me? There¡¯s no way I could miss these legs, Doll Face,¡± he laughed and I quickly pulled my leg back into the car. My face immediately felt like throbbing fire. I was blushing, by gosh, actually blushing for the first time in my life.


    Nick shut my door and then he walked around and got in on the driver¡¯s side. He started the car and it roared loudly the way I always imagined a NASCAR would.


    ¡°There¡¯s no sneaking in or out at night for you in this loud bad boy, is there?¡±


    ¡°No, there¡¯s no way I would be able to pull that one off so I guess it¡¯s a good thing I don¡¯t have to sneak around. There¡¯s not a lot of rules at my house.¡±


    Geez, I hoped he didn¡¯t have parents like Jessie¡¯s mom and grandmother.


    He backed out of the spot where he was parked and did a U-turn in the street in front of Dane¡¯s. I had no idea where we were going but I didn¡¯t care because I needed some distance between me and my most recent mistake.


    I got a text and I reached for my phone to silence it because I knew Claire and Jessie were about to blow it up. ¡°Your parents don¡¯t have rules for you, huh?¡±


    ¡°Not really. I live with my dad and he doesn¡¯t really care what we do as long as it doesn¡¯t involve causing him trouble. Do your parents still have a curfew for you or something?¡±


    ¡°My parents¡¯ control isn¡¯t really about a curfew. They are much more concerned with appearances so they like to control who I¡¯m with and what I do because it reflects upon them.¡±


    Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The text was from my Mom and I shoved my phone back into my purse without replying to her. ¡°That makes my parents sound like total Class A assholes, doesn''t it?


    ¡°I guess it depends on their limitations. Let me guess...they would not approve of their perfect little girl being with someone like me. Am I right?¡±

 Page 10

    The thought of my parents thinking I was perfect made me laugh, but he had the disapproval part down perfectly. ¡°My parents aren¡¯t afflicted with the misconception of thinking I¡¯m perfect. They¡¯re not delusional.¡±Advertisement


    He turned to look at me briefly. ¡°But they wouldn¡¯t approve of me, would they?¡±


    I looked out the window and watched the street lights quickly passing. ¡°No, they would not approve of me being with you and that¡¯s putting it mildly.¡±


    He was quiet for a few seconds and I wondered what he was thinking. ¡°What do your parents think of Jessie?¡±


    I had heard them voice their feelings over and over but I was going to leave off the part about how they thought he was trash and would never amount to anything. ¡°They commend the Deverauxs for helping Jessie, but they believe it¡¯s a mistake for them to take him in their home. They¡¯re pretty much outraged that they would allow their daughter to be in a relationship with him.¡±


    ¡°They would prefer he be left to live with his drug dealing grandmother?¡±


    ¡°No, they¡¯re not that uncaring. Their solution would have involved throwing some money at a charity and leaving someone else to do the dirty work.¡±


    He turned onto the highway leading from Franklin to Collinsville. ¡°I¡¯m assuming you don¡¯t mind going to Collinsville since you¡¯d probably prefer we didn¡¯t run into your parents.¡±


    I looked in his direction. ¡°My parents are out of town, but that¡¯s probably best so we don¡¯t run into any of their friends.¡± I felt guilty about it, but I was glad he was taking me away from Franklin.


    His expression was one I couldn''t quite place but then my curiosity was forgotten when he changed the subject. ¡°Do you have brothers and sisters?¡±


    ¡°Come on, do you really think my parents could handle another me?¡±


    ¡°So, you¡¯re a handful?¡±


    ¡°Absotively. What about you? You said that your dad didn¡¯t care what ¡®we¡¯ did so does that mean you have brothers and sisters?¡±


    ¡°One of each and I have the pleasure of being the disturbed middle child.¡±


    I squirmed in my seat to turn in Nick¡¯s direction so I could see him without twisting my neck awkwardly. ¡°Tell me about them.¡±


    ¡°Well, Jake is twenty-one and he works for the water and electrical department in Collinsville. He still lives at home with us and he has a girlfriend named Gabbi. You remember her, right? I believe you referred to her as ¡®Miss Black Halter Top¡¯ last night at the club.¡±


    Yeah, I remembered ¡®Miss Black Halter Top¡¯ and I also remembered the unexpected jealousy I felt when I thought he was making plans to hook up with her while he was at the bar buying a drink for me. I kept that thought to myself as he went on. ¡°My sister, Dallas, is seventeen and she¡¯ll be a senior at Collinsville this year.¡±


    ¡°Your brother isn¡¯t in college?¡±


    ¡°Nah, school wasn¡¯t really his thing.¡±


    He said it so matter of fact, like it was fine with his family that he wasn¡¯t in college. ¡°What about you? Is school your thing?¡±


    It would be a shame if he didn¡¯t have goals for himself. ¡°Not really, but I¡¯m going anyway because I¡¯m following in my old man¡¯s footsteps. Police force.¡±


    Shiz, Nick in a fitted uniform would probably be more than I could stand. ¡°You¡¯re gonna be a cop?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, why so surprised?¡±


    ¡°Because being a police officer is dangerous.¡±


    ¡°I happen to like danger.¡±


    The street ahead of us was blocked and a police officer was directing traffic around whatever was going on. ¡°Unless you get stuck showing drivers which direction to go like this guy. That would not be dangerous or exciting. What¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°The fair is in town.¡±


    I looked over and saw the lights of the Ferris wheel as it circled. ¡°I always wanted to do that when I was a kid, but my mom would never take me.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve got to be shittin¡¯ me. You¡¯ve never been to the fair?¡±


    I looked away from the rides and flashing lights toward Nick. ¡°Nope.¡±


    He looked at me in disbelief. ¡°You¡¯ve never eaten hotdogs, funnels cakes and cotton candy and then puked after riding the tilt-o-whirl?¡±


    Ewe...Maybe I wasn¡¯t missing much after all. ¡°Not once.¡±


    He whirled his head to look at the traffic in the outer lane and then quickly changed lanes and wheeled into the parking area on the fairgrounds. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Like you don¡¯t know.¡± He smiled and I knew what he was suggesting. ¡°I¡¯m taking you to the fair.¡±


    That was ridiculous. I wasn¡¯t letting him take me to the fair. ¡°No, you¡¯re not. I¡¯m too old for kiddie rides.¡±


    He pulled into a spot and then looked at me. ¡°No, you¡¯re not but how would you know if you¡¯ve never been?¡±


    ¡°Stay there,¡± he said before he got out and jetted around to open my door for me. ¡°Come on, Doll Face, this is gonna fun.¡±


    I felt ridiculous. What eighteen year-old went to the fair? Apparently me. And with the Sex Tricks Jedi, no less.


    I huffed, but I couldn¡¯t prevent the smile that had been threatening to come to the surface since he told me what we were doing. He reached for my hand and grabbed it like he was afraid I might bolt at any minute. We walked toward the admission gate and I looked over at him. ¡°I can¡¯t believe we¡¯re doing this. It¡¯s silly. You know that, right?¡±


    ¡°Nothin¡¯ wrong with being silly. It¡¯s going to be fun.¡±


    I shouldn¡¯t have gotten my phone out of my purse, but I did anyway. I knew I would get a million texts and calls from Jessie and Claire and I didn¡¯t want to hear all the reasons why I shouldn¡¯t have left with Nick Hawke. In this moment, no one could convince me this was wrong.


    8 Let¡¯s Call It A Non-No


    Nick


    I had no idea where I was taking Payton Archer when I asked her to leave Dane¡¯s party with me, so it was safe to say that I never guessed we would end up at the fairgrounds in Collinsville. Better yet, I never guessed how much fun we¡¯d have riding kiddie rides and eating pink cotton candy.


    We shared a seat with a couple of rug rats on the tilt-o-whirl and they looked at Payton like she was crazy when she squealed hysterically while spinning in circles as we tilted back and forth. When the ride ended, she didn¡¯t make a move to get out of her seat and looked at me with a serious expression I didn¡¯t like.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Here it came. The part I had dreaded, the part where she told me she made a mistake by leaving with me and I should take her back to Dane¡¯s house. I waited for the words but they didn¡¯t come. Instead, she squeezed her eyes tightly and began to fan her face with her hand. ¡°I should probably not do that again anytime soon. I feel like I could puke and it would be a shame to do that to you two nights in a row.¡±


    I was so relieved she wasn¡¯t telling me to take her back to Dane¡¯s that I didn¡¯t care if she puked on me again. I reached for her hand and helped steady her as she stood. ¡°You okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m good, but I probably shouldn¡¯t have ridden that. I get car sick, so anything going in circles tends to not agree with me. I can barely make it around a circular ramp on the highway.¡±


    I held her hand and helped her down the steps of the ride. ¡°Okay, no more tilt-o-whirl for you. How ¡®bout we play some games? I could win you a huge teddy bear as a souvenir for your first fair.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never been to a fair and even I know that those games are rigged. I bet you don¡¯t win anything.¡±


    It was a challenge. ¡°Have you not learned your lesson with me yet? Don¡¯t bet against me, Doll Face. What kind of prize do you want?¡±


    She looked around and then pointed toward a huge teddy bear in overalls hanging up by the basketball goals. ¡°I want that big gaudy teddy bear.¡±


    Perfect. Basketball was my game of choice. ¡°How ¡®bout I win you that teddy bear and you give me a kiss?¡±


    She smiled and I took it as an agreement because it¡¯s what I wanted. ¡°Is that a ¡®yes¡¯?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s call it a...non-no.¡±


    I¡¯d gladly take a non-no if it got me a kiss from her.


    The guy behind the counter noticed us showing some interest in his booth and he began to shout in our direction. ¡°Three hoops wins the little lady her choice of a prize.¡±


    I slid my wallet out of my back pocket and reached for some of my earnings from the race. ¡°How much?¡±


    I watched him eye Payton up and down. ¡°Five dollars for five tries. Three hoops wins her choice of prize.¡±


    I loudly slammed a five dollar bill on the counter to take his attention off of Payton¡¯s cleavage and he slowly pulled his eyes from her to look at me. ¡°Best of luck, sir.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, right.¡±


    He tossed a basketball in my direction and I bounced it a couple of times before I confidently took the first shot and missed. The guy behind the booth laughed. ¡°You¡¯re gonna have to do better than that to impress this little lady.¡±


    I didn¡¯t say anything as I took the ball from his nasty hands a second time to take my next shot and then missed again. Yeah, this was definitely rigged. I had played basketball for six years and could have made this shot with my eyes closed.


    ¡°Awe...Missed again. Now you have to make every shot left to win this little beauty a prize.¡± He leaned over the counter to look at Payton¡¯s legs and I wanted to punch his face and knock out the last three teeth he had left in his head. ¡°What do you think, Beautiful? Can he do it?¡±


    She looked at me and smiled. ¡°I¡¯ve learned to not underestimate him when there¡¯s something he wants.¡±


    I took another ball from the sleaze bag and looked at the hoop closely to judge my next shot. I heard Payton ask, ¡°Sir, do many people successfully make three hoops?¡± and I took my shot as she distracted him. A loud beep signaled my ball going into the hoop.

 Page 11

    ¡°That¡¯s one.¡± I reached in his direction for another ball.Advertisement


    He narrowed his eyes at me and shoved a ball in my direction. I studied the hoop again and heard Payton say, ¡°It¡¯s so hot out here tonight,¡± and I knew she was doing something to distract him again. I really didn¡¯t want to know what so I shook it off and took my next shot. A beep signaled my second hoop and he jerked his head around to look at the hoop.


    I held my hands up to signal for my next ball and again he unnecessarily shoved one in my direction. He wouldn¡¯t fall for another one of Payton¡¯s distractions unless she took off her top.


    ¡°Last shot. Better make it count if you want to win that teddy for the little lady.¡±


    It was a given that he was going to do something to move the hoop. The only question was would it be left or right? There was a 50/50 chance I would guess the right direction so I went with the left.


    BEEP!


    It was a lucky guess and I knew that, but it wasn¡¯t about making the shot. It was about seeing Payton walk around with one of those big, ugly bears and even better was the kiss she promised me. Sort of promised, my non-no kiss.


    She squealed with excitement and threw her arms around my neck so I took the opportunity to pick her up and swing her around like we had hit the Tennessee Lottery. I knew we looked ridiculous to those around us, but I didn¡¯t care because it was a great excuse to put my arms around her.


    I put her down and looked into her eyes. This wasn¡¯t where I wanted our first kiss to happen but I would take it if she offered.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got players behind you, so pick your prize and move on,¡± the sleaze bag called out.


    Great job of ruining this kiss for me, Dude. I struggled to not show my irritation. ¡°Show him the one you want, Doll Face.¡±


    ¡°That one,¡± she said as she pointed toward the biggest bear hanging on the wall. Her eyes lit up over that ugly stuffed bear and I knew I was giving her something she would never forget. It wasn¡¯t the bear, it was the memory.


    ¡°Thank you, Nick,¡± she said as she leaned over and kissed my cheek.


    Damn, that was a total letdown. A brotherly peck on the cheek was not the kind of kiss I had in mind, but I smiled because I didn¡¯t want her see that I had expected more.


    ¡°Glad I could be the one to give you your first Fair Bear.¡±


    ¡°Fair Bear,¡± she laughed. ¡°I like that. I think that should be his name.¡±


    It was starting to get late and I guessed they would be shutting things down soon. ¡°You seem like you¡¯re feeling better. You wanna give the Ferris wheel a try before we go?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m feeling much better so I definitely want to do that before we go.¡±


    The line was short because it was getting late so we were quickly loaded into the carriage that would carry us up to overlook the Collinsville fairgrounds. We rose higher into the sky each time a carriage was loaded with riders and I watched the excitement on Payton¡¯s face as we got closer to the top.


    She twisted in the carriage and looked around in every direction. ¡°I know we¡¯re just on a small Ferris wheel, but it feels like we¡¯re on top of the world.¡± She laughed as she turned to me. ¡°You think I¡¯m being silly, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t think you¡¯re silly at all. I think you¡¯re intriguing.¡±


    I licked my lips as I stared at the shiny gloss on her lips and imagined how soft and slick her mouth would be against mine. I had never wanted to lean in for a kiss so badly in all of my life. Being on this Ferris wheel on top of the world with her couldn¡¯t be more perfect, but I couldn¡¯t do it; I was too scared.


    I, Nick Hawke, the sexpert and fearless daredevil, was scared. I was too pansy to kiss this beautiful girl because she was wonderful and perfect and different. She was special and I didn¡¯t want to blow it with her by pushing too hard, too fast.


    The wheel stopped again to load another couple. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t say this already, but thank you for taking care of my drunk ass last night. I didn¡¯t think I would be so wasted after only two drinks. I guess I just drank them too fast.¡±


    Without thinking, I reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. ¡°Hey, I didn¡¯t mind. It was my pleasure, puke and all.¡±


    She shook her head as she looked down. ¡°Liar,¡± she laughed. ¡°The whole thing with Cooper seems so stupid now. I tried to make him be my Jessie. That¡¯s weird, I know. I¡¯m sort of messed up that way.¡± She looked up at me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I don¡¯t know why I told you that.¡±


    Claire was right. She was beginning to see that she never really loved Cooper.


    All the carriages were loaded and we began to rise and fall as the wheel spun around. A gust of wind picked up as we rose to the top and a wild strand of hair blew into her face and got stuck in her lip gloss. I couldn''t resist the excuse to touch a part of her so I reached forward to set it free.


    All I could taste and breathe was this moment with her. Our time together would be over soon and I didn¡¯t want to go home without telling her that I had to see her again.


    I twirled the wild strand in my fingers and then tucked it behind her ear. ¡°Last night, you told me you wouldn¡¯t go out with me because you were looking for something different, yet you¡¯re here with me now.¡±


    A regretful expression came across her face. ¡°Nick, you¡¯ve been really sweet to me and I¡¯ve had a wonderful time with you tonight, as a friend. We can never be more than that. You¡¯ve gone through too many girls.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve always used protection. Every time without fail. I swear I haven¡¯t caught anything if that¡¯s what you¡¯re worried about.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m glad to know you at least had the good sense to be safe, but that¡¯s not what I mean. I¡¯m looking for something lasting and you¡¯re looking for your next one night stand.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±


    ¡°You are and if you were really being honest with yourself, you¡¯d have to admit that you¡¯re interested in me because I¡¯m a challenge for you. I didn¡¯t flip onto my back for you and it¡¯s driving you crazy. I promise it won¡¯t be long until you see that I¡¯m right. You¡¯ll forget all about me when your next conquest comes along and both of us will walk away from this unscathed. We might even be friends when it¡¯s over.¡±


    She couldn¡¯t be more wrong. This was me being honest with myself about what I wanted for the first time in a really long time. I truly, madly, deeply wanted Payton Archer. ¡°You¡¯re wrong about me but I can see that it may take a while for you to realize that. In the meantime, if friendship is all you can give then I¡¯ll take it over nothing at all.¡±


    9 A Hawke¡¯s Prey


    Payton


    I rambled about nothing and everything simultaneously since our talk on the Ferris wheel, but I kept hearing Nick¡¯s words repeat over and over in my head. ¡°You¡¯re wrong about me but I can see that it may take a while for you to realize that. In the meantime, if friendship is all you can give then I¡¯ll take it over nothing at all.¡±


    I had heard all the lines of bullshit before and I knew the game like the back of my hand but none of Nick¡¯s words sounded like the kind of thing a Playah would say. Was it possible that I was wrong about him?


    His fingers accidentally grazed mine as we walked to his car and it made me wish he would reach out and squeeze my hand the way he had when we were on the Ferris wheel, but I knew he wouldn¡¯t since I had just skillfully played the friend card.


    ¡°You¡¯re suddenly very quiet. Is something wrong?¡±


    I adjusted Fair Bear on my hip like a toddler. ¡°Just thinking is all.¡±


    I reached for my phone in my back pocket to read the texts I had ignored from earlier.


    ¡°K. Have fun.


    The next text was also from Claire. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about being DD. We¡¯re covered.¡±


    I was nearing the stage of utter shock because I had completely expected Claire to rip me a new one for leaving with Nick. ¡°K. Having fun but call if U need me,¡± I replied.


    ¡°They don¡¯t need me to be the DD so I¡¯m free for the rest of the night.¡± I realized that sounded like I assumed he would want to spend the rest of the night with me so I tried to back paddle on my statement. ¡°But you can take me back to Dane¡¯s if you have something else you¡¯d like to do.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t think of a thing I¡¯d rather do than be with you tonight.¡±


    That might not be the entire truth. There was at least one thing I knew he would rather be doing, but he could forget it; he wasn¡¯t getting in my pants tonight.


    ¡°So, what cha wanna do? What¡¯s there to do in Collinsville?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s a pool hall down the road that I hang out at sometimes. You like playing pool or darts? I could probably score us some draft.¡±


    A pool hall? I somehow doubted it would be anything similar to The Billiards Club in Franklin but I was game. Just as I was about to tell Nick that I would love to go with him, three thugs appeared behind us.


    ¡°Well, well, look who we have here. If it isn¡¯t Nick Hawke.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not looking for trouble, Ace.¡±


    ¡°Well, it looks like trouble found you. You cost me a lot of money on last night¡¯s race and you¡¯re either going to make up for it on this next race or I¡¯m gonna take it out of your ass.¡±


    ¡°Get in the car, Payton.¡± I opened my mouth to ask why, but Nick didn¡¯t give me the chance to say anything. ¡°No questions. In the car, now.¡±


    I saw the seriousness on his face and knew it wasn¡¯t the time to question him so I did as he told me. He pushed the lock down on the door before he shut it and I knew that was a sign that these guys weren¡¯t pals and they weren¡¯t here to play.


    My heart was pounding as I watched Nick talking to the one with tattoos from his wrists up to his neck. I couldn¡¯t hear what they were saying but I could tell he was mad as hell about something.


    I couldn''t see Nick¡¯s face because his back was turned to me, but I could tell that he was standing his ground because both of their voices grew louder as they argued. Nick was not backing down to this guy and that clearly wasn¡¯t going over well. I thought about how Jessie had been stabbed and shot by people no different from these thugs he was arguing with now and I reached for my pepper spray in my purse, just in case.

 Page 12

    Nick turned away from the threesome to walk around to the driver¡¯s side, but Ace grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. He landed a punch on the left side of his face and Nick went down. I panicked, not knowing if he was hurt or not and opened the door.Advertisement


    Nick quickly sprang from the ground at Ace and his fist connected with his eye and then he stepped away from him with his fists up in defense like a boxer waiting for the next swing. While he bounced from side to side, one of Ace¡¯s thugs drug me out of the car as I scratched and clawed at him viciously. My screams distracted Nick and he took another fist to the face as Ace took advantage.


    In my state of panic, I managed to remember a self defense move I learned years ago and gave him an upward slam of my palm to his nose and he immediately released me but only for the other thug to grab me by the waist from behind.


    ¡°Ooh, Hawke. This one is a fighter.¡± He leaned around and spoke against my ear. ¡°I bet she¡¯s lots of fun in bed. I may have to try her out.¡±


    ¡°Let her go,¡± Nick demanded. ¡°She has nothing to do with what¡¯s between us.¡±


    I bucked violently when I thought about him trying me out and slammed the back of my head against the thug¡¯s nose several times until he released me. I turned to face him head on and saw he was wiping a profuse amount of blood from his face.


    ¡°My nose. The bitch broke my nose.¡±


    Ace pointed in my direction. ¡°When I¡¯m done with your boyfriend, you¡¯re next.¡±


    Nick sprang from where he stood and took Ace to the ground. There were so many punches being thrown, I couldn¡¯t tell who was winning. I was terrified for Nick and afraid Ace might pull a knife or gun at any moment so I did the only thing I knew to do. I sprayed him with my pepper spray.


    Screams were all I could hear as he rubbed his face. ¡°What the hell? What did you just spray me with?¡±


    I began to back away as he blindly swung in my direction. I looked at Nick and saw his reddening eyes squeezed shut and I knew I had gotten him too.


    ¡°Shit, Nick. I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to spray you.¡±


    ¡°A little blew back on me. It¡¯s not so bad since you didn¡¯t get me directly.¡± He reached up toward me. ¡°Can you help me to the car?¡±


    I reached for his hand and helped him stand as he strained to get up. I felt horrible. ¡°I really am sorry.¡±


    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s get out of here. Can you drive my car for me?¡±


    I held his hand and led him to the passenger side. ¡°Sure, it¡¯s the least I can do since I just set your face on fire.¡±


    He reached into his pocket and held the keys in front of me. I reached for them and unlocked the door before I opened it for him.


    ¡°This is all wrong, you know? I¡¯m supposed to be opening all the doors and driving you around.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll let it slide this time.¡±


    I got into the driver¡¯s seat and was surprised at how powerful I felt when I turned the key to start the roaring engine. ¡°Where to?¡±


    ¡°My house, I guess. I need to wash the pepper spray off my face.¡±


    I drove for a little while and pondered if it was a good idea to ask about those thugs but decided he would tell me that it was none of my business if he didn¡¯t want me to know. ¡°What did those guys want with you?¡±


    ¡°Ace wanted me to throw the race with Dane last night. He threatened me and thought I would cave but I¡¯m a lot like a certain someone I know. I don¡¯t do ultimatums.¡±


    ¡°If nothing else, that¡¯s one thing we have in common.¡±


    ¡°I locked you in the car to protect you, but I wouldn¡¯t have if I had known you were a total Chuck Norris badass. Are you ever gonna stop surprising me?¡±


    ¡°Probably not, but you could hold out hope along with my parents.¡±


    I got a laugh out of him. That meant he wasn¡¯t too pissed at me about the pepper spray, so that was good, right? I stopped at a red light and took the opportunity to search his face while his eyes were shut. Even with his eyes clammed closed he was seriously hot, ridiculously so.


    I heard a horn blowing at me to go when the light turned green and I guess I gassed it a little too hard and squealed a tire. ¡°Damn, girl. What are you trying to do?¡±


    ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m not used to this many horses. This thing will get away from you in a hurry.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not a thing. Her name is Ebony.¡±


    Okay. I see where Ebony fit. ¡°Your car¡¯s name is Ebony?¡±


    ¡°Come on, don¡¯t tell me you¡¯ve never come across a person that named their vehicle?¡±


    ¡°Not a sane person.¡±


    Our conversation about naming vehicles was cut short when I saw his street and I was glad because I was afraid he was about to encourage me to give my Lexus a name. ¡°You said 2143 Forrest Drive?¡±


    ¡°Yep. That¡¯s the one.¡±


    The drive to Nick¡¯s house from the fairgrounds wasn¡¯t far and I was grateful. I knew his skin and eyes had to be burning like crazy and he was being kind by not complaining because he didn¡¯t want me to feel worse than I already did.


    I parked in the drive of a small cream brick house with black shutters and I guessed we were in the right place because there was a squad car parked on the street in front of the house. I turned to look at Nick and he sat motionless with his eyes closed tightly.


    ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± I turned off the engine and went around to the passenger¡¯s side. I put my hand out and took his in mine. ¡°Here, let me help you. Which door are we using?¡±


    ¡°Might as well use the front door ¡®cause my old man is gonna be stretched out on the couch watching television. There won¡¯t be any sneaking past him.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Nick. This is all my fault.¡±


    He stopped before we in the door and grabbed my face even though he couldn¡¯t look into my eyes. ¡°Stop it. This could never be your fault. You didn¡¯t have any control over Ace jumping me and you were scared I was about to get the shit kicked out of me. But for the record, I totally had him.¡±


    He couldn¡¯t see the smirk on my face. ¡°Yeah, I know.¡±


    ¡°Damn skippy,¡± he said as he turned to enter the front door. Just as he predicted, his dad was stretched out on the couch watching Saturday Night Live in his boxers, which I guess was better than whitey tighties. Awesome. Could this get any more awkward?


    He didn¡¯t make a move at first because he thought Nick was alone but then he saw me and shot up to grab a pillow to cover his lap. ¡°Damn, Son, could you give me a little notice if you¡¯re bringing a girl home? I¡¯m in my skivvies here.¡±


    ¡°Sorry, Dad. I didn¡¯t think about it.¡±


    I dropped my eyes to the floor and turned around as his dad got off the couch. ¡°Give me a second.¡±


    ¡°Sorry. I guess he¡¯s been a bachelor for too many years.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. This is his house and it¡¯s his right to watch television in his skivvies if he wants.¡±


    We were both laughing when he came back in wearing a T-shirt and some flannel pants. He offered his hand and Nick introduced us. ¡°This is my dad, Dutch.¡±


    Dutch Hawke. What a great cop name. ¡°Dad, this is Payton.¡±


    He looked at me for a minute before he said anything. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you, Payton.¡± He smiled and I saw who Nick got his dimples from. ¡°Forgive me if I seem a little shocked. Nick has never brought a girl home before.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, Dad.¡±


    He turned to smirk at Nick and the smile left his face. ¡°What the hell happened to you?¡±


    ¡°I got jumped.¡±


    ¡°By what?¡±


    He probably wasn¡¯t going to think too much of me after I told him I was the one to blame for his son¡¯s face looking the way it did. ¡°It¡¯s my fault he looks like that. I sprayed the guy that jumped him with pepper spray but some blew back into Nick¡¯s face. It was a complete accident.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d hate to see the other guy.¡±


    I¡¯m betting he looked like hell. Serves him right. ¡°He wasn¡¯t too happy with me.¡±


    ¡°Come to the kitchen. That¡¯s gonna need some milk.¡±


    ¡°Milk?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it will cool the burn and then we¡¯ll need to wash it with dishwashing detergent. It will get better on its own in about 30 minutes but this will speed the process. It usually takes a few hours for it to wear off completely, but maybe it won¡¯t be that long since you didn¡¯t get it directly to the face.¡±


    I watched Dutch irrigate Nick¡¯s face with milk and he must have seen the puzzled look on my face. ¡°I know about pepper spray treatment because we occasionally use it in the line of duty. Sometimes we get a little of the blow back like Nick did tonight.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± That¡¯s all I could say as I thought about the dangerous situations Nick would be in after he became a cop and pepper spray would be the least of his worries when it came to dangerous criminals. Thinking about it made my stomach feel like it was in knots and I didn¡¯t like it.


    I needed to hear him tell me he was better so I could feel better. ¡°Is the burning going away?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s not near as bad as it was at first.¡±


    Dutch mixed up a detergent and water paste and washed Nick¡¯s face with it several times before he moved to the couch to lie down. ¡°It should get better soon but you¡¯ll have to wait for your eyes to get better on their own because detergent won¡¯t feel much better than the pepper. You should probably just go to bed and sleep it off.¡±


    ¡°But I¡¯ve gotta drive Payton back.¡±


    ¡°No, your eyes are too swollen for you to drive. I¡¯ll take her home. Just give me a minute to grab my shoes.¡±


    Dutch went down the hall toward the back of the house and I sat next to Nick on the couch after he scooted over and patted the cushion.


    He looked at me through his inflamed eyes and smiled. ¡°I had a great time tonight.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, right,¡± I laughed. ¡°You¡¯re such a liar.¡±

 Page 13

    ¡°No, I did. I¡¯m not kiddin¡¯.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Okay, if you say...¡± And that¡¯s all I was able to get out before Nick grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me down as he rose to meet me for a kiss. He put his lips against mine and I felt a fire growing that had absolutely nothing to do with pepper spray.


    I opened my mouth a little and he slid his tongue in between my teeth to tease me so I would open wider. He sat up completely and turned his head to the side so his tongue could dance a waltz with mine. He tasted like mint but with a hint of spice, sort of like pepper. The realization made me smile and I felt his smile in return against my mouth.


    His hands were placed affectionately on each side of my face and I reveled in the moment because it was the kind of kiss I always long for. It was perfect in all ways but one. He was a total Playah.


    I heard his dad start the car outside and I pulled away from Nick. How had his dad gotten past us? I didn¡¯t even hear the door open.


    He still held my face and I could feel his breath against my lips. ¡°I¡¯ve gotta go. Your dad is waiting for me.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯ll wait,¡± he said breathlessly as he leaned forward to possess my mouth again but I stopped him by pressing my forehead to his.


    ¡°No, I have to go. It¡¯s rude to keep him waiting.¡±


    He rubbed his thumbs up and down my cheeks. ¡°Okay. Can I call you tomorrow?¡±


    I didn¡¯t answer. I only nodded and he smiled because it was the answer he wanted. I halfway expected, and maybe even hoped, he might pull me back down for another kiss before I got up but he didn¡¯t. I walked out the front door without looking back because I was afraid I might run back to him for another one of his peppery kisses.


    I got my purse and Fair Bear from Nick¡¯s car and then got into the squad car with Dutch. He looked at the stuffed animal and then back at me. ¡°Nick won him for me at the fair.¡±


    ¡°I figured as much. What side of town do you live on?¡±


    I felt bad telling him he was going to have to drive me all the way to Franklin. ¡°I¡¯m not from Collinsville. I live in East Franklin.¡±


    He didn¡¯t say anything and pulled away from the house in the direction of the highway leading home. ¡°I suspected you weren¡¯t from here but I didn¡¯t want to make assumptions.¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what that meant so I didn¡¯t know how to respond.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me asking, how did you and Nick meet?¡±


    I doubted it was a good idea to tell him I met him on the way to see him street race since that was illegal. ¡°I ran into the back of his car with mine at a red light and it just so happened that my friend in the car with me knew Nick so he introduced us.¡±


    ¡°You had an accident?¡±


    Oops. ¡°Sort of. I bumped him a little bit but it didn¡¯t do any damage to either of our cars so we didn¡¯t call it in.¡±


    ¡°He knows better than that.¡± I could see him shaking his head in the dark.¡±Who is your friend that he knew?¡±


    ¡°Jessie Boone. He used to live in Collinsville and he and Nick were in the same class. Do you remember him?¡±


    ¡°Hell yeah, I know that boy. He caused me more trouble than I like to remember when he lived here with his sorry excuse for a mother.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, he told us that he used to stay in trouble all the time but a good family took him in and he¡¯s got his life together now. He got a full scholarship to UT in the fall and is going to be a lawyer.¡±


    ¡°A lawyer? Imagine that after everything that little shit has done. I¡¯m glad to hear he¡¯s made a turn in the right direction because I don¡¯t usually hear about people making a change for the better when you¡¯re in my line of work.¡±


    ¡°I would suspect not.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t believe I caught your last name earlier.¡±


    ¡°Archer.¡±


    He was silent and then suddenly blurted out, ¡°Who are your parents?¡±


    ¡°Harrison and Vivian Archer.¡±


    Everything seem to change the moment I said my last name and I didn¡¯t understand why but discussion time was over because we were at Claire¡¯s house.


    ¡°This your place?¡±


    ¡°No, sir. I¡¯m staying with a friend because my parents are out of town. Thank you for the ride.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome. I¡¯ll wait here until you¡¯re inside.¡±


    ¡°Thank you and have a goodnight.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome and goodnight, Miss Archer.¡±


    A car pulled up to let Claire and Jessie out as I was walking toward the house so I stopped to wait on them. Jessie took one look at the Collinsville police squad car and I could clearly see that he was pissed but he didn¡¯t say anything. At least not until the car pulled away.


    ¡°What kind of trouble did Nick get you into and why are the police bringing you home?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve got it all wrong and if you¡¯d shut your trap for like two seconds, I¡¯ll explain what happened, Kimosabe. But let¡¯s go inside first because my dogs are barkin¡¯.¡±


    I slipped off my wedges and walked barefooted to the house. Jessie walked ahead and opened the door for me and Claire like he always did. ¡°Where¡¯d you come up with that ugly bear?¡±


    I cocked my head and looked at him like he had just insulted my own offspring. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you called Fair Bear ugly.¡±


    ¡°Good grief. Say it isn¡¯t so.¡±


    ¡°Say what isn¡¯t so?¡±


    ¡°Hawke did not take you to the fair in Collinsville?¡±


    ¡°As a matter of fact, he did.¡±


    He was laughing at me. ¡°Smooth move.¡±


    ¡°Well, I had a great time. That was until we got jumped by some thugs.¡±


    Jessie stopped dead in his tracks. ¡°What do you mean ¡®we¡¯ got jumped by thugs?¡±


    I probably shouldn¡¯t have said it that way. ¡°It¡¯s not as bad as it sounds.¡±


    ¡°Half as bad as it sounds isn¡¯t good.¡±


    I really wanted to go to bed, but I could see he wasn¡¯t going to wait to hear my explanations so I conceded and we sat down at the table in the breakfast room. ¡°Okay, here¡¯s how the night went.¡±


    I intended on giving him two minutes worth of story but he stretched it out to twenty with all of his questions about my night with Nick Hawke.


    ¡°And he didn¡¯t try anything with you?¡±


    That was the second time he asked me that. Again, I decided to not tell him about Nick kissing me. This flame needed no fuel. ¡°I¡¯ve already told you he didn¡¯t. Besides, I¡¯m fairly certain that sex wasn¡¯t on his mind after taking a shot of pepper spray to the face.¡±


    He laughed huskily. ¡°Don¡¯t be fooled. Sex is always on a guy¡¯s mind, pepper spray or not, and he could have used his injury as a motivator for a sympathy screw.¡±


    Well, he didn¡¯t and Nick Hawke was harmless in my eyes because I was immune to his advances. My decision was made and we would never be more than friends. I admit I slipped a little, or maybe a lot, when I kissed him back tonight but my lesson was well learned and I wouldn¡¯t let it happen again.


    But wow...what a way to slip. It was a mistake I couldn¡¯t afford to repeat because it was imperative I not forget who and what he was all about, otherwise I was in danger of becoming Hawke¡¯s next prey.


    10 That Archer Girl


    Nick


    Payton let me kiss her. Hell, she didn¡¯t just let me. She threw everything she had told me out the window and kissed me back the way I wanted her to. That meant things between us were changing, right? Surely it did and what sweet change it was.


    I was still on the couch when my dad rolled through the front door almost an hour after he left to drive Payton back. This should be interesting. I couldn¡¯t wait to hear what he had to say about how great she was.


    It was true. Payton was the first girl I ever brought home and I¡¯m sure that alone shocked the shit out of my dad because he knew how I was. I didn¡¯t do relationships but he got it and didn¡¯t push me to talk about it. Connections with people just weren¡¯t my thing, even with my own family. I guessed he and I were sort of alike in that respect.


    My eyes were still closed when I heard my dad¡¯s keys clank as he dropped them in the dish on the kitchen counter. ¡°You awake, Son?¡±


    ¡°Yes, sir.¡±


    ¡°We need to talk.¡±


    Are you kiddin¡¯ me? Surely, he wasn¡¯t about to try to have the safe sex talk with me after all these years. ¡°Okay.¡±


    ¡°About that girl.¡±


    ¡°That girl¡¯s name is Payton.¡±


    ¡°Right, Payton Archer. I don¡¯t want you seeing her again. She¡¯s not the right kind of girl for you.¡±


    What the hell? Since when did my dad give a rip about who I saw? I sat up and tried to look at my dad because I needed to look him in the eyes for this conversation. ¡°Not you, too.¡±


    ¡°Someone else thinks she¡¯s wrong for you?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, Jake. He said I should forget about her. Said something about her being just like Mom, but she¡¯s not. She¡¯s nothing like Mom.¡±


    ¡°I know a lot more than you think and I¡¯m telling you now that this girl will only hurt you. She comes from a lot of money and you don¡¯t. Her family will never accept you and even if she goes against their wishes and chooses you over them, it won¡¯t end well for either of you. Been there and done that, Son.¡±


    ¡°Payton is not Mom and I¡¯m 18 in case you forgot. I can see anyone I want to see.¡±


    I was looking at Dutch the cop, not Dutch the dad, as he pointed his finger at me. ¡°I can¡¯t keep you from seeing her but I can warn you. That girl will only break your heart. Mark my words.¡±


    I had complete faith in my choices, so why couldn¡¯t he? ¡°Dad, you know how I am. I don¡¯t let people hurt me and Payton is no different.¡± That was a total lie because she couldn''t be more different. ¡°Besides, I¡¯ve asked her out twice and she told me ¡®no¡¯ both times. She says we can only be friends.¡±

 Page 14

    ¡°She didn¡¯t look like a friend telling you ¡®no¡¯ when I walked in on the two of you kissing on the couch.¡±Advertisement


    I broke into a huge smile with just the mention of the kiss we shared. I shouldn¡¯t have because it was a dead giveaway for my feelings about Payton. ¡°We¡¯re friends.¡±


    ¡°You may be, but I can tell by that ridiculous look on your face that you¡¯ll be trying to change that as soon as possible.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t deny that, so I didn¡¯t.


    ¡°Son, if you don¡¯t hear anything I say, please hear this. There¡¯s only so far you can walk this road and still have the chance to turn back. There will be a point of no return with this girl. Don¡¯t go there with her because it will only ruin you for the rest of your life. Trust me; I know it all too well.¡±


    ¡°You act like Payton¡¯s gonna ruin my life or something.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think so but she has the power to break you. Maybe not today, but she will if you pursue this thing with her.¡±


    He made it sound like she was some kind of succubus demon. ¡°She¡¯s just a friend.¡±


    ¡°Friend or not, she¡¯s a gorgeous girl and I know what you¡¯re thinking about when you look at her. Believe me, I remember and it¡¯s more dangerous than you can imagine because you don¡¯t see the power she can have over you.¡±


    He had one thing right. The decision was mine and I knew what I would choose if given the opportunity but I was done talking about this with him. ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about this anymore. I¡¯m going to bed.¡±


    I walked the hallway to my bedroom with my hand on the wall as a guide and shut the door after I was in my room. I put my phone on the nightstand before I stripped down to my boxers and then crawled into my unmade bed. I reached for my phone and stared at it through blurry vision, trying to decide if I should text Payton or not. After several minutes of debate, I decided I had to.


    ¡°Fair Bear ok?¡± I hit send and then thought too late about how really cheesy that message was. Ugh! Maybe my dad was right about one thing. Payton had power over me, the kind to make me act totally stupid.


    ¡°He¡¯s good & your face? Better I hope.¡±


    ¡°Much. TY.¡±


    ¡°Good. Wouldn¡¯t want U scarred 4 the ladies.¡±


    There was only one lady I was concerned about. ¡°K to call U tom?


    ¡°Sure, Friend.¡±


    What the hell? Was that supposed to be her way of acting like nothing happened between us tonight? Something happened...something significant whether she wanted to admit it or not but I wasn¡¯t about to discuss it through shorthand texting.


    ¡°Sweet Dreams Doll Face.¡±


    ¡°Good Nite. ;)¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what to make of ¡®Sure, Friend¡¯ except that I didn¡¯t care for it. Man, I wished I hadn¡¯t texted her because now I would spend half the night thinking about her reply instead of spending the whole night thinking solely about our magnificent kiss.


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    When I woke up, I couldn¡¯t imagine how I managed to go to sleep last night. My every thought was of Payton and I wondered if she was thinking of me the way I was of her. It was doubtful considering most of my thoughts were really fantasies of everything I¡¯d love to do to her to make her scream my name.


    I was doing it again, thinking of things I planned on doing to Payton when Jake swung my bedroom door open without knocking, fully living up to his role as the asshole older brother.


    He ran over and jerked my comforter off and started laughing. ¡°Dad thinks he talked some sense into you about that chick, but I can see that he was wrong based on what you¡¯ve got covered with your hands. You definitely have Miss Fancy Pants in your head. What were you thinking about, huh? How you were going do this to her?¡± He humped my mattress and I wanted to throw up when he started groaning with each thrust. ¡±Uh. Uh. Uh.¡±


    I kicked my foot at him and nailed him in his inner thigh. ¡°Get your crotch rot off my bed, dude. Go hump your own mattress before I need a new one.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t have to hump my mattress because I get to do this to Gabbi.¡± I couldn¡¯t take it and turned my head away. ¡°You¡¯re disgusting. Get out of my room, Dickhead.¡±


    ¡°Wait. Check this move out. Even a rich girl like Miss Fancy Pants will like gettin¡¯ it this way.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t look as I heard my box springs squeak and felt the motion of my mattress. I¡¯d had enough of his shit about Payton. I kicked him harder and knocked him into the floor. I wasn¡¯t trying to cause any real damage, but I would if he kept jacking around about Payton like that.


    I slid off the bed and stepped over his cacklin¡¯ ass on my way to the bathroom, but he wasn¡¯t finished harassing me because I could hear him as I went down the hall. ¡°Going to the bathroom to finish the job? It would probably help get the deed done quicker if you have a picture of her on your phone. You want me to slide it under the door for you?¡±


    I bumped into Dallas on my way down the hall and prayed she hadn¡¯t heard anything he said. ¡°What¡¯s that idiot carrying on about?¡±


    ¡°Trust me. You don¡¯t want to know. You¡¯d be scarred for life.¡±


    She wrinkled her brow as she looked at my face. ¡°What happened to you? You look like hell.¡±


    ¡°I got pepper sprayed last night.¡±


    Apparently she found that to be pretty funny based on the way she was laughing and snorting. ¡°Let me guess. Some girl finally got enough of you screwing around.¡±


    ¡°No. It was an accident.¡±


    ¡°Accident?¡± She crossed her arms and looked intrigued. She leaned against the wall, a sure sign she expected to hear the whole story. ¡°How does one accidentally get sprayed in the face with pepper spray? Do tell.¡±


    I tried to pass by her. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t interest you.¡±


    She reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me from getting away. ¡°Try me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll give you the short version. I was leaving the fair with a date and Ace Henry jumped me. She got scared and sprayed him, but some blew back in my face. See? Not an interesting story.¡±


    ¡°Not an interesting story? Come on, Nickolas Aleksei. You had a date? Like a real date?¡±


    Ugh! I hated being called by my full name. It sounded like a nineteenth century Russian tzar. ¡°Yes...no...maybe. I don¡¯t guess it qualified as a real date since it wasn¡¯t one to her.


    ¡°But you wanted it to be a real one. I can tell.¡±


    She¡¯d never be able to guess just how much. I shrugged my shoulders like I didn¡¯t know or care, but it was a total cover. ¡°Maybe.¡±


    ¡°Maybe, my ass. I can see that you really like this girl. You have to call her and ask her to spend the day with you before she makes other plans.¡±


    Ooh. I didn¡¯t know about that. What if she turned me down again? ¡°I don¡¯t know, Dallas.¡±


    ¡°Well, I do. Call her. She¡¯d be crazy to turn you down.¡±


    I wish I had Dallas¡¯ confidence. ¡°Well, she must be crazy then because she¡¯s turned be down twice already.¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t turn you down last night.¡±


    Things with Payton were so back and forth, I didn¡¯t know where I stood with her, but I guess there was only one way to find out. ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll call her but this is all your fault if she tells me ¡®no¡¯.¡±


    ¡°Trust me. She won¡¯t.¡±


    11 The Green Eyed Monster


    Payton


    I woke up to Claire thumping the end of my nose the way she did when we were little kids. ¡°What the hell, Claire? Cut it out. You wouldn¡¯t want to be woken up by me trying to thump boogers out of your nose.¡±


    ¡°Wake up. I want you to tell me what happened between you and Nick before Jessie gets up. I know you were holding out when you were telling us about it last night, so spill. I need details.¡±


    Ugh! I rolled over and shoved my face into my pillow. I spent most of the night thinking about our perfect kiss and the other half of the night reminding myself how he had gotten so good at it. Practice made perfect and he had no idea how many girls he had practiced on. The thought made my stomach feel jittery and nervous at the same time.


    ¡°Something happened that shouldn¡¯t have.¡±


    Claire reached out and shoved me so hard I nearly fell off her bed. ¡°Shut the front door! You did not play the V-card to The Sex Tricks Jedi?¡±


    I reared my pillow back and bopped Claire in the head. ¡°Is that a question or an accusation?¡±


    ¡°Which does it need to be?¡±


    I met this guy all of three days ago. She couldn¡¯t possibly think I had practiced making babies with him. ¡°I was talking about him kissing me, Pervert.¡±


    She wanted details. ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°I kissed him back, which was a mistake.¡±


    She looked confused. ¡°I don¡¯t understand. Why shouldn¡¯t it have happened and why was it a mistake?¡±


    Hello? Lights are on, anybody home? ¡°You were there. You heard what Jessie said about him. He¡¯s a Playah. I asked him how many girls he had been with and he had no idea. Literally. He couldn¡¯t even take a guess at a number.¡±


    ¡°Jessie doesn¡¯t know either. I don¡¯t like it, but I put it out of my mind because I love him.


    What was that supposed to mean? Was she comparing him to Jessie? ¡°Is that your way of defending The Sex Tricks Jedi?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe.¡± She shrugged her shoulders and cocked her head to the side a little. ¡°I think you should give him a chance.¡±


    Where was this coming from? ¡°He is not my type at all so why in the world would you think that?¡±


    ¡°Because you can¡¯t see the way you look at him and you don¡¯t see the way he looks at you when you¡¯re not looking.¡±


    ¡°And I think you haven¡¯t seen the way he looks at my legs.¡± Okay, maybe that wasn¡¯t completely fair since I was the one that had called his attention to them.


    ¡°Like he¡¯d be the first, Payton.¡±

 Page 15

    My phone rang and Claire jumped over me to grab it from the nightstand before I could. ¡°It¡¯s him. I knew it would be,¡± she sang as she waved my phone in front of my face.Advertisement


    ¡°He¡¯s gonna wanna talk about our kiss last night and I¡¯m not ready to go there so I¡¯m not answering.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to because I am.¡± I tried to reach out and grab my phone from her, but I missed and she slide the bar to answer his call. I¡¯m going to choke her.


    She put the phone up to her ear and gave me her best shit eating grin. ¡°Hello, Nick.¡±


    What was she up to? She didn¡¯t answer my phone without motive.


    ¡°No, this is Claire. Payton is in the bathroom but she was just about to call you to see if you wanted to come swimming at her house today.¡±


    Oh, no she didn¡¯t. I reached out and slapped her across her leg. Everyone thought she was so innocent and perfect, but they were so wrong. I knew her well and she was a little devil.


    ¡°Perfect. You can bring someone with you if you¡¯d like. We were thinking about one or one-thirty.¡±


    I looked to see what time it was. Shiz, that was only a couple of hours from now.


    ¡°Great. We¡¯ll text you the directions to her house and we¡¯ll see you then.¡±


    She tossed my phone on the bed in my direction. ¡°You¡¯re welcome.¡±


    Was she serious? ¡°I can¡¯t believe you did that to me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, come on. It¡¯ll be fun.¡±


    I huffed to show her my grievance against her. ¡°Thanks a lot, Claire. Now, I¡¯ll be in a rush to get home and do my hair, shave everything and redo my toenails.¡± I realized too late how I sounded after the words were out there.


    ¡°My, my...someone¡¯s planning to go to an awful lot of trouble to look good for someone they don¡¯t like or want.¡±


    I really didn''t want to hear Claire¡¯s gloating, mostly because somewhere deep down inside, I knew she was right. It didn¡¯t matter that Nick was all wrong for me; I wanted to see him today.


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    After I rushed home from Claire¡¯s, I had about an hour and a half to do all the primping I had planned.


    Yeah, I guessed it was silly to wash my hair only to dunk it in the pool, but I wanted to look great and dirty hair wasn¡¯t sexy.


    After I got out of the shower, I painted my toenails first so they could dry while I got ready. I decided I didn¡¯t want to look too put together, so I pulled my hair into a ponytail and left off my usual make-up routine with the exception of my peachy lip gloss. It was a necessity I didn¡¯t go without.


    I didn¡¯t even have to think about which swimsuit I wanted to wear. It was definitely my new white bikini because I had ulterior motive in mind; I wanted to see what Claire was talking about, how Nick looked at me when he thought I wasn¡¯t looking. What better way to get him to look my way than a string bikini?


    ¡°Payton,¡± I heard Claire call out from downstairs to let me know she and Jessie were at my house.


    ¡°Be right down. Go on around to the pool and I¡¯ll be there in a minute.¡±


    I checked myself one last time in the mirror and then threw my cover-up on over my bikini and slipped into my wedges. I checked the time when I got downstairs and saw that Nick could show at any minute.


    I walked out by the pool and found Jessie putting sunscreen on Claire while Dane was busy working on the music. Who invited him?


    ¡°Mind if I crash your pool party?¡±


    Since when did Dane care if I minded? ¡°Would it matter if I minded?¡±


    ¡°Probably not. I hear Nick Hawke is coming. You¡¯ve got something going with him, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°I most certainly do not.¡± I wondered if my lie showed all over my face.


    Jack Johnson¡¯s ¡®Sitting, Waiting, Wishing¡¯ started blaring from the speakers and I thought Dane couldn¡¯t have chosen a more appropriate song. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m not judging. I think he¡¯s cool.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not my type. You know I wouldn¡¯t date a guy from Collinsville.¡± I turned to Jessie when what I said registered. ¡°No offense, Kimosabe.¡±


    ¡°None taken, Miss Shallow.¡±


    He knew it pissed me off when he called me that. ¡°I¡¯m not shallow.¡±


    ¡°The hell you say. I¡¯ve not met anyone more shallow than you. But I still love ¡®ya even if Claire gives me no choice.¡±


    I shot him my favorite hand signal and walked over to the lounger and took off my cover-up as I thought about where I wanted to be when Nick got here. It was all about visuals with guys and I knew the perfect scene.


    I heard the slam of a car door, and then another, so I leisurely stretched out on the lounger with one of my legs bent so he could see exactly how long my legs were. I tilted my face up toward the sun but not enough that I couldn¡¯t peek from behind my sunglasses to see his reaction when he came through the gate.


    I heard the squeak of the iron gate as it swung open and I peered over to see him. Rats. Jessie and Claire met him when he walked through and blocked my view.


    I held my position and waited. And waited. And then at the very moment I was ready to get up and strut over to him, I saw a beautiful brunette appear next to him.


    Claire told him to bring someone with him, but I never considered he would after our kiss last night. What a tool! I saw Jessie hug the girl and that made it even worse because it meant he brought a Collinsville whore to my house.


    I was glad to be wearing dark shades because they disguised my reaction to the brunette beauty, not that any of them were looking at me. I waited another minute or two and when Nick still didn¡¯t look my way, I grabbed my cover-up and went inside.


    I slammed the door on the way in the house. Yeah, very toddler like I know, but I was pissed. I couldn¡¯t believe he brought a girl to my house. Who does that kind of thing? I¡¯ll tell you who...A guy that doesn¡¯t give a care in the world about me.


    I wanted to kick or punch something, preferably Nick Hawke. Ugh! Why did I like that guy? He couldn¡¯t be more wrong for me. I didn¡¯t date guys without money or a place at the top of the social ladder. He didn¡¯t even have a spot on the bottom rung and he didn¡¯t care because he was unaware of the ladder¡¯s existence.


    What was I thinking? I was still the one in control here. If Nick hurt me, it was because I let him and that was not the way this was about to go down. I had been there and stupidly done that with Cooper and I wasn¡¯t going to play that game again.


    That was it. I was not going to sit in this house and feel sorry for myself while everyone else was outside having a great time. I was going out there and I was going to do it with my head held high, so I took off my cover-up and draped it over my arm.


    I remained true to myself and made my grand entrance like I always did while I wore my best poker face. He wasn¡¯t going to see the wild card coming his way. He had another thing coming if he thought he could bring a girl to my house after he kissed me.


    I strutted from the house to the pool and tossed my cover-up over the back of a patio chair. I glanced at Nick as he peered over his shades to check me out and he gave me that incredibly sexy grin that had become all too familiar but I didn¡¯t have a smile in return for him.


    I turned my back on him and bent over to spread my towel across my chair. I bent a little further than I had to and it made my bikini bottom ride up a little so when I stood again, I slid my fingers just inside the edge of it and tugged as I wiggled my butt a little...just for him.


    I stretched out on the lounger and tilted my face up toward the sun to show my lack of interest in Nick or his brunette companion, which had apparently done a disappearing act while I was inside the house formulating my plan of action.


    My eyes were closed tightly and I willed myself not to look in his direction but I heard someone sit on the lounger next to me so I waited for the voice to identify its occupant.


    ¡°Hey, Doll Face. How¡¯s it going?¡±


    I didn¡¯t make a move to look in his direction and I blandly answered, ¡°It¡¯s going.¡±


    ¡°Is something wrong?¡±


    I detected confusion in his voice. ¡°Nope. What could possibly be wrong?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. You act like you¡¯re mad at me.¡±


    How perceptive of him. ¡°Why would I possibly be mad at you?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Oh, come on. Really? ¡°Where did your guest go?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s in the pool house changing into her swimsuit.¡±


    Did he really not find this awkward? ¡°Planning to introduce us?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely. I was planning to when we got here, but you went inside. I¡¯ll introduce you when she comes out.¡±


    Miss Beautiful Brunette walked out of my pool house in an awesome red bikini and stopped to get her sunscreen out of her bag on the table on the other side of the pool where Dane, Jessie and Claire sat. I looked at how beautiful she was and I realized anger wasn¡¯t the only thing I was feeling. I was jealous and hurt and I despised it because I had no control over it.


    I wasn¡¯t going to bask in the sun because of the two of us, I wasn¡¯t the snake here. ¡°It¡¯s too hot for laying out. I¡¯m getting in the pool.¡±


    ¡°Want me to come in with you?¡±


    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t know what kind of game this is, but I¡¯ll play. So sure, join me in the pool if that¡¯s what you want.¡±


    ¡°What is up with you?¡± Nick reached for his shirt to pull it over his head and I got my first look at the amazing body hidden beneath his shirt, along with the huge black tribal tattoo wrapping around the left side of his ribcage to just below his heart and I couldn¡¯t tear my eyes away because it was so hot.


    He stared at me, waiting to hear me tell him what was going on with me, but all I could do was study the black ink wrapping around his torso. ¡°What is it with Collinsville guys and tattoos?¡±


    He looked down in the direction of his tattoo as if it might have changed from the last time he saw it. ¡°You don¡¯t like it?¡±


    ¡°No, I sure don¡¯t.¡± Liar, liar, pants on fire and boy were they.

 Page 16

    ¡°Girls always think it¡¯s sexy.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t so I guess I¡¯m a first. It looks skanky.¡± Maybe lightning wouldn¡¯t strike me for telling such a boldfaced lie.


    ¡°Wow, tell me how you really feel.¡±


    I rolled my eyes and then headed for the pool with Nick hot on my heels. ¡°You act like you don¡¯t want me here. Has something happened since you invited me?¡±


    I whirled around on him. ¡°I didn¡¯t invite you and I certainly didn¡¯t invite your date. It was all Claire¡¯s idea. Remember? That¡¯s who you talked to, not me.¡±


    He laughed at me. He freakin¡¯ laughed at me. ¡°My date? Is that what¡¯s going on here? You¡¯re mad because I brought a date?¡±


    ¡°Does she know you kissed her hostess last night?¡±


    He was amused, but I wasn¡¯t. ¡°No, I didn''t tell her we kissed.¡±


    ¡°We didn¡¯t kiss. You kissed me.¡±


    ¡°I recall you kissing me back.¡±


    Yeah, I did, but it was such a mistake on my part. ¡°If I did, and I¡¯m not saying I did, I shouldn¡¯t have.¡±


    I tried to turn away, but he caught me by the hand and pulled me toward him. ¡°Well, I¡¯m gonna kiss you again and next time you won¡¯t call me ¡®friend¡¯ afterwards.¡±


    Oh, that was why he brought a date to my house. He was mad about being called ¡®friend¡¯? ¡°That¡¯s it. You¡¯re mad because I addressed you as ¡®friend¡¯ in my text?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on here but one thing is for sure. I didn¡¯t like being referred to as a simple friend after our amazing kiss.¡±


    What the hell? ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on here either but I sure think it¡¯s wrong for you bring a date to my house after last night.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re jealous.¡±


    Damn skippy I was jealous but I would die before I admitted it. ¡°I¡¯m not. I just think it proves what a Playah you are and confirms all the reasons why I¡¯ll never go out with you.¡±


    He was smiling, or maybe it could be called some form of gloating. ¡°Dallas,¡± he called out as he waved over the brunette and I immediately wanted to cringe because I remembered that name. Stupid! Why had I been too dumb to consider that he brought his sister? Because I was too wrapped up in my own hurt and preconceived notions to consider the possibility that maybe he wasn¡¯t trying to play me after all.


    12 Cracked Glass


    Nick


    Payton Archer had a jealous streak when it came to seeing me with another girl and I couldn¡¯t be happier about that. She was caving whether she wanted to or not and that meant I was one step closer to having her. ¡°Payton, this is my sister, Dallas.¡±


    Payton¡¯s face was red, but it wasn¡¯t from the sun or the heat. She was blushing because her jealous anger had revealed more than she intended. ¡°It¡¯s really nice to meet you, Dallas.¡±


    ¡°Thanks for inviting me.¡± Payton¡¯s eyes shot to mine and begged me to not say otherwise. ¡°Your house is gorgeous and this pool is to die for. This is where I would spend every minute of summer if it were in my backyard.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m glad you were able to come and please make yourself at home.¡± I pointed in the direction of the pool house. ¡°There¡¯s plenty of drinks and snacks in the kitchen, so help yourself to anything you want.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, but I wouldn¡¯t care for anything right now. I¡¯m dying to get in the water.¡±


    ¡°Me, too,¡± Dane yelled as he ran toward the pool to do a cannonball. After his big splash, he came up and ran his hands over his hair from front to back pushing the water away from his face.


    Payton shook her head and rolled her eyes. ¡°Very mature, Dane.¡±


    ¡°Warning...if you didn¡¯t think that was mature, you probably won¡¯t think this is either.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°This.¡± I surprised her and she let out a loud screech when I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into the pool with me. I held her against me as we fell into the water and then bobbed up to the surface.


    She came up and gasped for air. ¡°I should put my knee in your nuts for that.¡±


    I didn¡¯t let go of her, but I twisted my torso to protect my jewels because I wasn¡¯t sure she wouldn¡¯t decide to go for it. Who knew with this wildcat?


    Jessie got up from the table where he and Claire were sitting and pulled his shirt off. ¡°Next.¡±


    Claire put a death grip on the arms of the chair she was sitting in and looked up at Jessie. ¡°Just what do you think you¡¯re gonna do?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I know exactly what I¡¯m gonna do and you should, too. It¡¯s not like I¡¯ve never thrown you over my shoulder before, Princess, so let go of the chair.¡±


    Dane yelled out across the pool. ¡°Awww, yeah. Free show. This oughta be good.¡±


    I saw the challenge in Claire¡¯s eyes daring Jessie to try to pull her from that chair and knew she wasn¡¯t going easily. Jessie squatted in front of her so they could be eye level with each other. ¡°We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your choice.¡±


    She leaned forward and stared him in the eyes, challenging him to try to forcefully move her. ¡°You know I always choose hard.¡±


    He nipped her on her bottom lip with his mouth and she yelped. ¡°And that¡¯s only one of the many things I love about you, Princess.¡±


    ¡°How is it that you think you¡¯re gonna get me to let go of this chair without prying my hands free?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not prying anything. You¡¯re going to take your hands off the chair using your own free will.¡±


    She suspiciously narrowed her eyes at him. ¡°What are you going to do to me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to help you let go.¡±


    She gave him a stubborn grin. ¡°You just think you are, but it¡¯s not happening, Dude.¡±


    ¡°Okay, have it your way.¡± He reached up and very slowly began to pull the tie to her bikini top behind her neck. ¡°You¡¯ve got about five seconds before your top drops to your waist. What¡¯s it gonna be? Let it drop or let go of the chair to grab it before it falls?¡±


    ¡°Jessie Dewayne Boone!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not worried about Dane or Hawke seeing what¡¯s mine because I know you¡¯re gonna be a good girl and grab your top before it falls. When you do, I¡¯m throwing you over my shoulder and hauling you into that swimming pool.¡±


    Claire kicked and squirmed as he pulled and slowly counted. ¡°Three. Two. One.¡±


    I turned my head, just in case Claire proved to be as stubborn as her bestie and the whole thing happened as fast as lightning. Claire apparently reached for her top before it fell so Jessie grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder just like he promised with one exception. He walked past the pool without tossing her in. ¡°Sorry to interrupt the show, but we¡¯ll be inside for a few minutes because there¡¯s a little business we need to take care of.¡±


    Claire slapped him across his back and it made a loud sound. ¡°Jessie!¡±


    I knew the type of business they were about to take care of. Boone was about to find out how good Claire¡¯s little black bikini looked when it was tossed on the floor. He was one lucky bastard, but I was certain Claire¡¯s crumpled black bikini was no comparison to how the white one in front of me now would look.


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    It had been at least an hour and a half without any sign of Jessie or Claire, but I didn¡¯t care because it wasn¡¯t their company I craved.


    Dane and Dallas slowly migrated from us on the pool steps to the seat in the deep end of the pool and I strongly suspected we were witnessing the beginning of something starting between the two of them. That was cool by me because I liked Dane. He was a nice guy and we would get along fine as long as he didn¡¯t do anything to hurt my sister.


    ¡°I¡¯m a little hungry. Wanna grab a snack?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    I dare say that there¡¯s nothing in the world that could hold a candle to the sight of water rushing down Payton Archer¡¯s ass when she got out of the pool. I almost, key word being almost, wished I hadn¡¯t seen how fine it looked because it had me adjusting myself in my swim trunks behind Payton¡¯s back as I followed her to the pool house to get something to eat.


    She handed me a cola and chips and I sat down on a couch in what Payton called an outdoor room. Yeah, a freakin¡¯ outdoor room with furniture, a kickin¡¯ stereo system and a flat screen.


    She pulled out a remote and pointed it toward a receiver below the flatscreen. ¡°What do you wanna hear?¡±


    I wanted some great make out music, but I doubted she would go along with that. ¡°Surprise me.¡±


    She had a mischievous grin to appear on her face. ¡°You know I can.¡±


    ¡°Go for it. I dare you.¡±


    ¡°Okay. Here¡¯s a band I bet you won¡¯t know.¡±


    I listened for a minute and didn¡¯t recognize the song. ¡°You¡¯re right. Never heard this before.¡±


    ¡°This is Civil Twilight and you¡¯re gonna become very familiar with them if you hang with me for long. They¡¯re my favorite band.¡±


    Okay. I could become very familiar with Civil Twilight. That wasn¡¯t a problem for me.


    She pointed the remote toward the receiver to turn the volume down and then sat in the chair across from me, which was really disappointing because it would be hard to kiss her from that far away. She popped the top on her drink and then looked up at me as she opened her chips. ¡°Tell me about your tattoo.¡±


    Her question caught me off guard and caused me to choke a little on the cola I had turned up. It took a few seconds, but I finally managed to stop coughing so I could speak. ¡°Sorry. Went down the wrong way. What do you want to know about it?¡±


    ¡°Just the general stuff like when did you get it? Why did you choose that design and what does it mean?¡±


    How did I answer that? There was nothing general about my ink or her questions regarding it. I had never been asked to explain the particulars of it; she was the first. My own family had never even asked although I was fairly certain they probably all understood.

 Page 17

    I wasn¡¯t sure I trusted her enough to tell her the specifics of what drove me to mark myself in such a permanent way, so I decided generic was the way to go with my answers. ¡°I got it the day I turned eighteen.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Which was when?¡±


    Hmm. She wanted to know when my birthday was and I found myself liking that. ¡°September 27th. I know, a painful birthday present to myself, right?¡±


    She looked at it curiously from where she sat. ¡°I could think of less painful gifts. What does it mean?¡±


    I wasn¡¯t going to tell her what it said because having her read it herself would be my chance to bring her closer to where I wanted her. I stretched with my arm over my head. ¡°Come read it for yourself.¡±


    She got up and came to sit next to me on the couch before she cocked her head to the side to read the swirling words. ¡°Oh, cool. I couldn¡¯t tell that there were words mingled in the design from a distance. I thought it was only artwork.¡±


    She reached out to place her finger on the first word. ¡°I was lying when I said I didn¡¯t like it.¡± Her fingertip gently followed the text as she read it aloud, ¡°Love is delicate as glass; once broken it can be fixed, but there will always be cracks.¡±


    The soft gliding touch of her fingertip trailing along my skin sent tingles down my body and ignited flames in my gut. When she finished reading it, she left her finger against my skin and looked up at me. ¡°These aren¡¯t random words. They mean something very significant to you.¡±


    Very significant was the understatement of the millennium and the moment we were sharing quickly became very serious. I suddenly found myself in a place I didn¡¯t want to be. It was a dangerous spot because I didn¡¯t share that part of myself with anyone.


    She put her finger against the part that said ¡®Love¡¯ just below my heart and rubbed as if she might be able to wipe the ugly away. ¡°You didn¡¯t randomly choose this. This is here because someone hurt you.¡±


    I had been naked with plenty of girls, but I had never allowed one of them to read my tattoo and we definitely never discussed it. I closed my eyes, trying to escape this first time conversation I had ignited by asking her to take a closer look. When she didn¡¯t say anything more, I opened my eyes and she was still sitting on the edge of the couch looking at me.


    She licked her lips as she looked at my mouth. ¡°We don¡¯t have to talk about it if you don¡¯t want to. I can think of something else I rather do.¡±


    I heard my heart throbbing loudly in my ears and I thought I would die if I didn¡¯t get my lips against hers soon. I reached for the back of her neck and pulled her closer as I scooted in her direction on the sofa.


    Although I had been with lots of girls, I normally didn¡¯t kiss them longer than I felt obligated to and sometimes I didn¡¯t at all if I could get away with it. It felt too intimate and emotional for me, much more so than sex, so I simply didn¡¯t do it if I didn¡¯t have to.


    Give me ten seconds. That¡¯s all I needed before I was reaching for panties but Payton made kissing feel different for me. I liked it and I was content to make out with her all day without taking it all the way.


    Her lips left mine and she trailed kisses along my chin and jaw until her mouth reached the side of my neck. I rested my head on the back of the couch to give her full access and she took advantage.


    I knew I had lied to myself when her lips hit that sensitive spot below my ear. It¡¯s true; I could make out with Payton all day, but who was I kidding? She had flipped my on switch.


    ¡°Payton, I mean this in the best possible way, but...you¡¯re killing me here,¡± I groaned under my breath. ¡°You¡¯ve got me so turned on, I¡¯m about to bust the seams in my swim trunks.¡±


    I heard her giggle. ¡°Is that so?¡± she asked between kisses on my neck. ¡°I¡¯d love to see your version of The Incredible Hulk.¡±


    This girl was trying to kill me and I was definitely interested in seeing if she would succeed, but then we heard the door leading into the house swing open and we scrambled like a pair of kids trying to look like nothing in particular was going on.


    Awesome. Jessie and Claire had been in the house almost two hours and they chose now to come out.


    I scooted away from Payton to the opposite end of the couch and pointed at the stack of throw pillows behind her. ¡°Toss me one of those pillows.¡±


    She shrugged and then gave me a questioning expression as she reached for one. ¡°Why? You gonna take a nap or something?¡±


    I pointed toward the crotch of my trunks and she laughed as she tossed it in my direction. ¡°Throw pillow, AKA boner barrier.


    I couldn¡¯t stop myself from smiling at her. ¡°Not funny.¡±


    I¡¯d hate to know how many inconvenient hard-ons this girl had caused. The number would no doubt be tremendous and I felt a jealous twinge as I thought about it.


    She smiled back. ¡°Oh, but I disagree, Hulk.¡±


    13 Adrenaline Junkie


    Payton


    Did I just attach my lips to Nick Hawke¡¯s neck like a Dyson vacuum? Why, yes I did and I apparently did a bang up job at it according to the smile on his face.


    He lounged against the back of the couch smiling as we waited for Jessie and Claire to find us after they discovered we weren¡¯t in the pool. I looked at him and couldn¡¯t contain my smile about the little secret he was trying to hide under the throw pillow I tossed him. I should have felt bad about it, but I couldn¡¯t because I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of making out with him.


    After Jessie and Claire found us, Jessie plopped down between us on the couch and looked over at the pillow casually across Nick¡¯s lap. Yep, he had to at least suspect the reason behind its strategic placement. ¡°What¡¯s going on, Hawke?¡±


    Nick dropped his arm across the pillow like he was afraid Jessie might jerk it away at any minute. ¡°Awe, not much. Got tired of being in the pool and thought we¡¯d watch a little television while we grabbed a snack.¡±


    Wrong answer. Come on, Nick. You couldn¡¯t watch a TV that wasn¡¯t on.


    Jessie looked up the television mounted on the corner of the house. ¡°You¡¯re watching a black screen?¡±


    Nick ran his hand through his hair and laughed. ¡°My bad. I meant listening to umm...Civil Twilight.


    Jessie looked toward the pool. ¡°Where¡¯d Dane and Dallas go?¡±


    Nick and I turned to find the pair in the pool, but there was no sign of them and I did the answering this time since Nick failed question one. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Guess they¡¯re taking a break from swimming.¡±


    ¡°How did you not see them get out of the pool if all you were doing was sitting here listening to music while you grabbed a snack?¡± Jessie reached over and grabbed Nick¡¯s kneecap and gave it a hard squeeze. ¡°Sounds to me like you¡¯re lying.¡±


    Nick jerked and grabbed Jessie by the wrist to make him stop squeezing as he groaned, ¡°Damn, Dude. Let go.¡±


    Claire rolled her eyes as she looked at me and got up to get a drink from the pool house. ¡°Leave him alone, Jess. They can do whatever they want to do.¡±


    Jessie reluctantly obeyed Claire and released Nick¡¯s kneecap. ¡°I couldn¡¯t help myself, Princess. He made messin¡¯ with him too easy. Seriously, Dude...you¡¯re sporting that whole ¡®two year-old caught with his hand in the cookie jar¡¯ look very well.¡± Jessie gave Nick an elbow to the ribs and looked over at me. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m about to say this, but you¡¯re slippin¡¯, Dude.¡±


    It was impossible to not notice the way Nick didn¡¯t deny Jessie¡¯s claim about him slippin¡¯. I realized I liked the idea of possibly being the reason why. I wanted to spend more time with him so I could explore this thing between us. My mind immediately began reeling with all the ways I could accomplish that but I had to put those thoughts on hold when Dane and Dallas came through the gate from wherever they had been.


    Claire came out of the pool house from getting her drink and saw Dane and Dallas coming across the backyard. ¡°Well, look who just magically reappeared.¡±


    Dane lifted a brow at Claire. ¡°I believe I could say the same thing about you and Jessie since you disappeared for like, what? Two hours?¡±


    Claire looked at Jessie and they both grinned. ¡°No way it was more than 30 minutes.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, sure. If you say so.¡± Dane chivalrously offered the only remaining chair to Dallas and then sat next to her on the ottoman. ¡°What¡¯s going on here? A meeting of the minds?


    ¡°Yeah and that¡¯s why you weren¡¯t invited. Where¡¯ve you been, Underthinker?


    He lifted his phone to show me. ¡°Left it in the car and I¡¯m expecting a call from Paxton about plans for tonight.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we hang out here tonight since my parents are still gone,¡± I suggested. ¡°We could cook.¡±


    Claire knew I couldn¡¯t cook so I wasn¡¯t surprised when she called me out about my suggestion. ¡°Since when do you cook?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say I would cook. I said ¡®we¡¯ would cook.¡±


    The girl wasn¡¯t salutatorian for nothing. She could add one and one. ¡°Meaning you want me to cook.¡±


    I shrugged and acted innocent just to piss her off. ¡°Well, if you¡¯re volunteering, then ¡®yes.¡¯ That¡¯s exactly what I meant.¡±


    ¡°Sorry, no can do. We have dinner plans with my parents. Remember? They arranged dinner with Uncle Bill so he could talk to Jessie about law school and we can¡¯t blow it off.¡±


    Dallas looked at Nick apologetically. ¡°And I¡¯ve gotta get back because I have plans with Ashley and Hailey.


    Well, shit. That didn¡¯t go the way I wanted.


    ¡°I could drive Dallas home if Nick wants to stay,¡± Dane volunteered and confirmed my suspicions that he might want to get to know Nick¡¯s sister better.


    Nick didn¡¯t even think it over. ¡°Would you mind, Dallie?


    ¡°No, not at all.¡± Dallas looked at Dane and gave him a sweet smile. ¡°That would be great.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö

 Page 18

    We were alone at my house and I suddenly panicked. What was I thinking? This was a terrible idea. It was crazy for me to be alone with Nick after I got so carried away with him earlier. If I went that far with people here, what would I do without them?Advertisement


    And that wasn¡¯t my only problem. I invited Nick to stay for dinner and I couldn¡¯t boil water on my best day. ¡°Claire wasn¡¯t kiddin¡¯ about me not being able to cook.¡±


    ¡°Not a problem. No one grills a better steak than me, so if you can wrap foil around some potatoes, we¡¯re good.¡±


    I relaxed a little because he seemed to have steak on his mind, not sex. That worked for me because steak wouldn¡¯t get me in trouble. ¡°Do you want to go to the market now so we can have an early dinner?¡±


    ¡°Sure. That works for me because I¡¯m getting hungry.¡±


    ¡°Okay. Just give me a minute to get dressed.¡± I went upstairs and quickly changed out of my swimsuit into a casual sundress and sandals. I sprayed my hair with a little spritz and let it do its natural wavy thing instead of pulling the curl out with the straightening iron like I usually did. I spritzed myself with my favorite peach and cherry blossom body spray and then applied a fresh coat of lip gloss and I was ready to roll.


    I saw Nick¡¯s face as he watched me come down the staircase and I could see that he was surprised by the change in my appearance. ¡°Your hair...it¡¯s curly. Another surprise.¡± His smile grew and he reached out to pull some over my shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    I went to get my purse and keys and wondered which car we would take. ¡°Want to take my car or yours?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll take mine.¡±


    I liked it when he drove, so that was fine by me. I walked over and set the security alarm for the countdown. ¡°Ready.¡±


    As Nick had previously done, he opened the car door for me but this time I was expecting the drop to the passenger seat. ¡°I think I did that a little more gracefully this time.¡±


    ¡°Nothing you do is ungraceful,¡± he said huskily before he shut my door.


    Nick used the drive to the supermarket to quiz me about Dane because he thought Dallas was interested in him. He wanted to know how many girls Dane had dated and if he had ever cheated on one. He fit the role of protective older brother perfectly and it made me see a side of him I liked even more.


    We went inside the supermarket and pushing a shopping cart with Nick felt so strange and...domestic. Going into a grocery store wasn¡¯t something I had ever done on a date. Wait. Was this a date? If it wasn¡¯t a date, what was it?


    Nick insisted on fresh cuts, so we were waiting for the butcher to slice our steaks and I decided I wanted to surprise Nick with a dessert. ¡°Be right back.¡±


    I looked up and down the aisles but came up blank. I only entered the kitchen to eat and not cook so I texted Claire for an idea.


    Being the perfect little Suzy Homemaker that she was, she instantly texted back, ¡°Strawberries, pound cake & whipped cream. No cooking required.¡±


    I loved her. She had the answer to everything.


    After getting the cake and whipped cream, I walked to the produce area to get the strawberries and noticed a pretty girl watching Nick at the meat counter. When she pulled her compact out of her purse and applied lipstick, I knew she was about to approach him and my possessive inner biotch surfaced.


    I eased over closer to her. ¡°He¡¯s hot, isn¡¯t he?¡±


    She jerked around to look at me and her expression told me that she thought I was strange for approaching her. I looked around as if I was afraid I might be overheard and leaned in to whisper. ¡°It¡¯s really too bad he has the crabs.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± she screeched.


    I leaned in a little closer. ¡°It¡¯s true. He gave my friend the crabs and it took weeks for her to get rid of them. She didn¡¯t know what it was and someone told her the only way to get rid of them was to put alcohol on them. Let¡¯s just say that everyone in a five mile radius had to cover their ears. I don¡¯t care how hot he is, no guy is worth the crabs.¡±


    She promptly closed her compact and slipped it back into her purse. ¡°Gee, thanks for the heads up.¡±


    I held my palm up for a high five. ¡°My pleasure. Chicks before dicks, am I right?¡±


    She reached up and her palm met mine with a loud slap. ¡°Absolutely.¡±


    She went on her merry way and I laughed as I searched through the strawberries for the best looking ones. That was so wrong of me but it served that chick right for what she thought she was about to do with my Nick.


    My Nick? Where had that thought come from?


    My stomach did a flip as I thought about how that kind of thing probably happened to him all the time, girls throwing themselves at him. No wonder he had an unknown number.


    ¡°Ready?¡± I heard him ask when he walked up behind me.


    ¡°I think so.¡±


    He looked at the ingredients in my arms. ¡°Strawberry Shortcake?¡±


    ¡°Yep. No cooking involved. Is that okay?¡±


    ¡°Whip cream is always okay with me.¡±


    My eyes got big and so did his smile.


    Whip cream is always okay with me. Was he talking about food or something entirely different? My mind was obviously in the gutter because on the ride home, I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about the soft, sweet cream and all the ways I could use it.


    I had to get my mind out of the gutter. ¡°Why do you race? Is it for the money?¡±


    ¡°The money is nice, but I have a little habit I can¡¯t kick.¡±


    Oh, no. Was he on something? Marijuana? Heroine? Meth?


    He started laughing when he saw the look on my face. ¡°Don¡¯t look so scared.¡±


    Drugs were a deal breaker for me. ¡°Tell me what you¡¯re talking about and then I¡¯ll decide if I should be scared or not.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m an adrenalin junkie. I love endorphins. And they¡¯re not illegal. I discovered the feeling when I was a kid. I started out with trick skating. I liked the feeling I got from tricks on ramps. The ramps kept getting bigger and bigger and I moved up to BMX stunts and Motorcross. It takes more for me to achieve that rush so I¡¯ve escalated to street racing.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s next? Stunts with planes?¡±


    ¡°Maybe one day."


    He was serious. ¡°Is that the real reason you want to be a police officer? You need that rush?¡±


    ¡°Possibly.¡±


    He was so cryptic. ¡°Couldn¡¯t you just go bungee jump or something like that?¡±


    He was quick to answer. ¡°Done it.¡±


    Yeah, I should have guessed that one. ¡°You¡¯re weird.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t knock it ¡®til you¡¯ve tried it.¡±


    Maybe he was on to something. ¡°Your car has a lot of power.¡±


    He grinned because he liked that I noticed. ¡°It¡¯s not exactly legal. It has a lot of bells and whistles I¡¯ve added to it.¡±


    I remembered the way his car made me feel the night I had to drive him home. ¡°When I drove your car, I liked the way I felt when I was in the driver¡¯s seat.¡±


    ¡°See? You could be a closet adrenaline junkie.¡±


    I looked around at the Highway we were on and didn¡¯t see any other cars. ¡°Show me.¡±


    He looked at me and then back at the road. ¡°Show you what?¡±


    He didn¡¯t get what I was talking about. ¡°How fast you go when you race.¡± He looked back at me to see if I was serious and I gave him a wink. ¡°Give me a rush.¡±


    He was smiling, dimples and all. He was proud of what he could do and he wanted to do it with me in the car. ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Show me what this mutha can do.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    I grabbed the edge of my seat and felt my entire body tense as he sped faster and faster down the highway. It felt like we might lift off the ground any minute. ¡°Shit! How fast are we going?¡±


    ¡°Speedometer cuts off at 120. I¡¯m guessing around 140 miles per hour, but that¡¯s as fast as I¡¯m taking it with you in here.¡±


    He started slowing down, but I wasn¡¯t finished getting my rush so I lowered my window. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I want more.¡±


    I unbuckled and got up on my knees to put my head out the window. He was right. I liked this rush thing. I kicked my shoes off and pushed up until I was sitting on the door ledge. I raised my arms up and let the wind completely take me over. It was so exciting I couldn¡¯t contain my squeal. ¡°Woo hoo.¡±


    I felt the car slowing down. ¡°Shit, girl. You¡¯re crazy. Get your ass back in this car before you swallow a bug.¡±


    I slid back in the car like a Duke and pulled the visor mirror down so I could try to tame my wild hair. ¡°That rocked.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    I had calmed down from my rush by the time we got back to my house. We hit the kitchen as soon as we got back and started getting dinner ready. I washed the potatoes and wrapped them in foil first and then washed and cut the strawberries while Nick prepped our steaks. Surely, I couldn¡¯t mess that up and I silently prayed I didn¡¯t; I didn¡¯t want him to think I was a total flake.


    ¡°These won¡¯t be as good as they would have been if they had marinated longer.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure they¡¯re gonna be great.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll have to let me grill for you when they have time to marinate overnight.¡±


    That meant getting together again. ¡°I¡¯d like that.¡±


    He went outside to light the grill while I finished cutting the strawberries and I watched him through the window as I stood in front of the kitchen sink. I remembered what Claire told me about the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn¡¯t looking and I dared say I probably had the same look on my face right now.


    An hour later, we ate dinner and Nick was true to his word. No one grilled a better steak than him. ¡°You weren¡¯t kiddin¡¯ You¡¯re quite the skilled grillsman. I ate the whole thing.¡±


    ¡°I learned from watching my dad.¡±


    ¡°I like your dad. He was really nice to me the night he drove me home.¡±

 Page 19

    He half-smiled and then quickly changed the subject. ¡°What about dessert? I want you to show me your culinary skills.¡±Advertisement


    There was little skill involved in what I had done. ¡°You mean lack of?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure that isn¡¯t true.¡±


    He was placing way too much confidence in my abilities because he¡¯d never seen me in action in the kitchen. ¡°Unfortunately, it¡¯s very true, but I don¡¯t think you¡¯re in any danger with the strawberry shortcake.¡±


    I cut two slices of pound cake and then topped them with whipped cream and strawberries before I placed his in front of him. ¡°Bon app¨¦tit.¡±


    ¡°Looks great.¡±


    I tried to make it pretty and I guess I didn¡¯t do a terrible job but it didn¡¯t look like anything I¡¯d ever gotten in a restaurant. Hopefully, I didn¡¯t screw it up royally in the taste department.


    I waited for him to take the first bite because I was too nervous to try it myself. ¡°It¡¯s really good.¡±


    I felt relief wash over me. ¡°Really? You¡¯re not just saying that to keep from hurting my feelings, are you?¡±


    ¡°It really is good. I promise. Here. Have a bite.¡± He reached over and offered to feed me a bite of his although I had my own right in front of me. Shiz, that was sexy. The thought of putting my mouth where his had been caused my stomach to do another one of those fluttery things.


    My eyes never left his as I leaned closer and took the bite he offered. He watched my mouth as I licked my lips and I hoped he offered me another bite because it was so damn sexy.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got a little...¡± he said as he pointed to the corner of his mouth.


    I reached with my finger to one corner of my mouth and slid it downward.


    ¡°Let me,¡± he said huskily as he leaned over and kissed my mouth. ¡°Tastes even sweeter this way,¡± he whispered as he smiled against my mouth and that was it; I was a lost. I was his puppet and he was my master; he could do with me what he wanted.


    Nick¡¯s mouth was still against mine and I could feel the warm rush of his breath against my lips and I suddenly wanted a dessert that didn¡¯t include strawberry shortcake. ¡°What do you think of a night swim?¡±


    He smiled against my lips. ¡°I think I like that idea very much.¡±


    I nibbled my bottom lip for a second as I convinced myself to back away. ¡°Give me a minute to change.¡±


    I dashed up the stairs and heard the kitchen faucet running and dishes clanking so I knew Nick was clearing the table and rinsing the dishes. He was hot as hell and considerate. Could this get any better?


    I looked at my still wet white bikini and wondered if it was worth putting the cold thing back on or if I should get a dry one. Nick loved it on me, so I decided it was definitely worth the freeze I¡¯d get when it hit my body. Besides, it wouldn¡¯t last but a minute.


    I looked in the mirror and my eyes were immediately drawn to my very noticeably erect nipples. I hadn¡¯t planned to put my cover up back on but I guessed I would until those things decided to calm down.


    I walked into the kitchen and Nick had it completely cleared with our dishes in the dishwasher. ¡°Thank you, but you¡¯re my guest and you didn¡¯t have to do that. I would have gotten it later.¡±


    ¡°It was no problem. I¡¯m used to it since it¡¯s me, my Dad, Jake and Dallas.¡±


    His mom. He didn¡¯t talk about her and I wondered why. Maybe she passed away and it was too painful for him to talk about. I¡¯d ask him about that later, but not now. I didn¡¯t want to spend this time alone talking about parents.


    We walked out and I flipped the pool light on. Going into the pool this time was different; it wasn¡¯t quite so playful as we eased down the steps into the shallow end.


    I dropped down until the water covered my shoulders and then dipped my head backwards. I rose up and pushed the water away from my face. ¡°I love to swim at night.¡±


    He wasted no time getting in my space as he bobbed up and down in front of me. ¡°I¡¯ve never swam at night, but I think I¡¯m gonna like it a lot.¡±


    ¡°And just what makes you think that?¡±


    ¡°This.¡± He reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me close to him, and I couldn¡¯t resist putting my arms around his shoulders as we both stood on our knees in the shallow end.


    It was a gentle kiss, very much like the others we had shared. His lips moved slowly and deliberately as his tongue entered my mouth and rhythmically danced with mine. His lips moved from my mouth to my chin toward my neck under my ear and I tilted my head to the side to encourage more of what he was doing.


    Somewhere along the way, the distinct line of what Nick was to me had changed. I couldn¡¯t pinpoint the moment he had gone from being nothing I wanted to everything I didn¡¯t want to live without and it scared the hell out of me. I was terrified of his past and afraid of being used up and tossed aside like he had done so many times before.


    ¡°I feel like you¡¯ve backed me into a corner.¡± It came as a whisper from his mouth against the skin on my neck.


    ¡°Umm, I think I¡¯m the one that has my back against the corner of the pool.¡±


    He stopped kissing my neck and put both of his hands on my face. His eyes watched mine as he searched for an answer to a question I didn¡¯t hear him speak.


    ¡°I¡¯m talking about the way you make me feel.¡± He rubbed his thumbs over my cheek bones. ¡°We have a connection and I¡¯ve never felt that with anyone before you.¡±


    My jealous chord was struck. We might both like to feel a rush, but that wasn¡¯t the only way he had connected with someone before. ¡°I highly doubt that. I think you¡¯ve been very connected to a countless number of girls according to your own confession.¡±


    ¡°Dammit, Payton, this isn¡¯t me bullshitting you so I can screw you. I want to tell you how I feel about you and you don¡¯t make it very easy when you say stuff like that.¡±


    Oh, hell. He wasn¡¯t playing with me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t realize you were being serious.¡±


    ¡°When we¡¯re not together, I want to be. When we¡¯re not touching, I hold out hope for just the slightest, accidental graze. You¡¯re all I think about and it¡¯s because my whole world is falling for you. Hard.¡±


    14 I¡¯ll Teach You


    Nick


    Oh, shit. I just told Payton I was falling in love with her. Well, not in those words exactly, but close enough for her to get the gist.


    I was still holding her face in my hands and I cringed as I waited for her to tell me how she felt. I looked in her eyes and she didn¡¯t say a word. That¡¯s when I realized the truth. She wasn¡¯t saying anything because she didn¡¯t feel the same and I had screwed up big time.


    What was I thinking? I had hoped for something that was never gonna happen. A girl like Payton would never go for a guy like me. Jessie told me she and I would never happen and I should have listened, but I couldn''t consider the possibility because I was too busy being a pompous ass in thinking no girl would turn me down.


    I waited a few more painful seconds and Payton still said nothing, so I became resigned to the truth. She didn¡¯t feel the same about me and I suddenly felt stupid because I had gone against all of my own rules and opened myself up only to be hurt.


    I swallowed the pain of her rejection and took my hands from her face as I pulled away. I was desperate to get out of there and away from her, but she quickly reached her arms up around my shoulders and stopped me.


    ¡°I want to be the only one you think about.¡± She gently pressed her lips to mine. ¡°But let¡¯s be clear about one thing. I won¡¯t be just another one.¡±


    I pulled her closely and pressed my forehead to hers as I made a vow. ¡°Never, Doll Face. I swear.¡±


    It felt like only minutes had passed as we made out in the pool, but it was almost midnight when Payton checked the time. ¡°Oh, shit. It¡¯s midnight and I told Aunt Tillie I would come to her house tonight. I need to check my phone because I bet she has called a thousand times. Be right back.¡±


    She gave me a quick kiss before she got out of the pool and I couldn¡¯t stop myself from watching her as she walked up the steps out of the pool and grabbed a towel. God, what I wouldn¡¯t give to be that towel right now.


    I knew our night swim was over since it was so late and because she had somewhere to be. I got out and dried off while she was talking on the phone and was finishing up as she came out of the house.


    ¡°I told Aunt Tillie I would be there in a little while and she¡¯s cool with that.¡±


    ¡°She won¡¯t get you in trouble with your parents?¡±


    ¡°Nah. She¡¯s the total opposite. She has helped me out of hot water with them more than one time. Man, I wished my mom was more like her.¡± She threw her head over and shook her hair out before she twisted it up in her towel. ¡°You wanna come up with me while I pack a bag?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± I¡¯d do anything if it meant I got to spend more time with Payton.


    I followed her up the stairs into her bedroom and saw Fair Bear sitting in the middle of a dozen pillows on a luxurious bed. Lucky Bear. ¡°He looks really out of place on your fancy bed.¡±


    ¡°My bed¡¯s not fancy. You can sit on it while I pack.¡±


    I looked at the sleek comforter and thought about the mark my wet trunks would leave on it. ¡°Payton, your bed is fancy and my trunks are wet so I¡¯m not sitting on it.¡±


    She dropped the bag in her hand on the floor and walked over to where I stood by her bed and shoved me backwards so that I fell right in the middle. ¡°Tell me you won¡¯t sit on it and I¡¯ll make you lie on it.¡±


    God, this girl was impossible.


    I sat up on the edge of her bed and watched her while she finished packing her bag. ¡°When will your parents be back?¡±


    ¡°The day after tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Could I talk you into spending tomorrow with me since they won¡¯t be here?¡±


    She grinned as she looked at me. ¡°Possibly.¡±


    ¡°Then you¡¯ll possibly need to pack something casual like a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers.¡±

 Page 20

    That peaked her curiosity. ¡°And why do I need to be casual?¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Because those tall ass heels and short skirts you like to wear won¡¯t be too appropriate for what I have planned.¡±


    ¡°Ooh...mysterious.¡± She went into her walk in closet and came out holding a T-shirt with a pair of jeans thrown over her arm. She folded the shirt and put it in a bag I was sure cost more than my entire wardrobe. ¡°I¡¯m dying to know. Can I have a little hint?¡±


    I was titanium and there was no way I was giving her one little detail. ¡°Nope.¡±


    She put her bag on her dresser and came over to stand between my knees. She poked her bottom lip out at me and I was positive it wasn¡¯t the first time she had used her beautiful pouty face to get what she wanted. ¡°Not even one little ¡®ole hint?¡±


    She sat across my lap with her arm around my shoulders and nibbled my earlobe. Although I recognized it for the tactical move it was, she was irresistible and I couldn¡¯t reframe myself from giving in to her just a little bit. ¡°Okay. One hint and that¡¯s all you¡¯re gettin¡¯. I¡¯m going to show you one of the things I like to do for fun.¡±


    She moved further down on my neck. ¡°So, I get a glimpse into Nick Hawke¡¯s life. Tell me more.¡±


    ¡°Nope, you¡¯ll have to wait and find out tomorrow.¡±


    She shoved me back on the bed again and crawled over me. I lifted my head from her bed to kiss her and she backed away just barely out of my reach to tease me. ¡°I don¡¯t want to wait until tomorrow to find out.¡±


    I tried to kiss her again and she barely got away from me, so I reached for the back of her neck and pulled her down until we were eye to eye. ¡°I said you¡¯d find out tomorrow. Now, stop teasing me and kiss me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll kiss you when you tell me what I want to know.¡±


    That little vixen. She just thought she was going to tease me and hold her kisses hostages in exchange for information. Well, I had news for her; two could play this game.


    I sat up and grabbed her by the waist to quickly flip her onto her back before she squealed. ¡°Nick!¡±


    I crawled up her still bikini clad body the way she had mine, except my mouth was only millimeters from her skin. ¡°It¡¯s too late to beg for mercy now.¡±


    Her voice was trembling. ¡°What are you gonna do to me?¡±


    ¡°Finish what you started.¡±


    ¡°By the word finish, I hope you don¡¯t mean us having sex because we¡¯re not.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you got that right, Doll Face. We¡¯re definitely not having sex tonight.¡± I put my mouth over her ear and whispered, ¡°Not even when you beg me to be inside you.¡±


    I heard her sharp intake of breath and I smiled. I had succeeded in shocking her, but it didn¡¯t last for long because only a second later she was trying her hand at a comeback for me. ¡°I hardly think that I¡¯ll...¡±


    ¡°Shh. Don¡¯t talk.¡± I didn¡¯t give her the chance to finish because I put my finger to her lips.


    She opened her mouth and drew a breath to say something else, but I covered her lips with mine before the words could escape. I lightly feathered her mouth with kisses and then took advantage when she opened enough to allow my tongue access.


    Her heart was against my chest and my lips were pressed to her neck when I started my Southward journey. I heard her breathing become increasingly louder and her chest began to rise and fall harder when my mouth paused just above the top of her bikini. I stopped, giving her the time she needed to tell me to go no further, but she didn¡¯t so I pressed on and continued my journey in exploring her beautiful body.


    I reminded myself of how Payton was different from the fast girls I was used to so I proceeded with great caution because I didn¡¯t want to scare her. I spread my fingers and placed my hands around each side of her ribcage as I went lower on her body. I let my thumbs lightly touch the under edge of her breasts while my tongue tasted the spot between them. I felt her heart beating a million times a minute under my mouth as she bent her knees upward and apart so my body could fall in between them.


    When I finished giving her breasts the attention they deserved, I slid lower down her body to her stomach and I dipped my tongue in her bellybutton so I could see her squirm and she didn¡¯t disappoint me.


    ¡°Oh. Oh. Ooh.¡± That was the sound of reassurance and it meant I was doing something very right.


    She jerked beneath me and arched her back as my mouth moved down to her hipbones just above the waist of her bikini bottom sitting low on her hips. I didn¡¯t try to slide it down, but I wanted to when I kissed her groin through the damp white material.


    ¡°Shall I stop?¡± I whispered as my mouth moved across the top of her pelvic bone.


    I managed to make out the sound of a ¡®no¡¯ through her heavy panting so I didn¡¯t stop. I slid my hands inside the sides of her swimsuit bottom and wrapped them around her hipbones and cupped her bare bottom in my hands. ¡°How ¡®bout here? Want me to stop?¡±


    She squirmed beneath me and her voice was breathless as she begged me to not stop, but I had a promise to keep. It was a no sex night, but I planned to give her what she needed while I stayed true to my word.


    I heard a moan escape her lips as she covered her eyes with her hand and pounded the mattress with her other and I knew I had just given her an experience she would never forget.


    15 Titillating Details


    Payton


    Wow. He considered that my punishment for teasing him?


    I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling with my comforter still fisted in my hand. Was that what I think it was? Hell yes it was and it was magnificent. It was without a doubt the most incredible sensation I had ever experienced. Shiz, I wanted him to do that to me again.


    He slid up my body and rested his weight on his elbows that were pressed into the mattress on each side of my head. He stroked his fingertips down each side of my face as he watched my eyes. ¡°Liked that, did ya?¡±


    ¡°Umm, yeah...just a little bit.¡±


    ¡°I could tell...just a little bit.¡±


    He smiled because it pleased him to hear me admit I liked what he did to me. I felt the heat rise in my face when I thought about what I had shamelessly begged him to do to me. He warned me I would, but I didn¡¯t believe him because I had no idea he was capable of eliciting such an uncontrollable urge that would make me throw good sense out the window.


    It didn¡¯t matter how much I begged and pleaded with him. He kept his word when he told me we wouldn¡¯t have sex and I found myself feeling regretful about that instead of relieved.


    Geez. I needed to get away from him fast because I was thinking about asking him to break his no sex tonight promise. ¡°I probably shouldn¡¯t push my luck with Aunt Tillie. I don¡¯t know how cool she¡¯d be if I showed up hours after I told her I would be there.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to get in trouble because I have plans for you tomorrow, Doll Face.¡± He lowered his lips to mine and gave me a gentle kiss. ¡°Does 12 o¡¯clock sound all right to you?¡±


    ¡°Perfect.¡± That meant we would only be apart for eleven hours.


    We spent the better part of the next 30 minutes kissing good-bye until we finally unglued our lips long enough for me to go to Tillie¡¯s house. When I walked into her house, I found her casually lounging on the chaise in the living room watching television. ¡°Hey, Girly Girl. Have a good night?¡±


    I fell backwards onto the couch and sighed dramatically.


    ¡°Sounds like someone had a great night.¡±


    ¡°I did. It was one of the most wonderful nights of my life.¡± I thought about my incredible experience with Nick and knew I wasn¡¯t giving him enough credit after that thing he did. ¡°I take that back. It was definitely my best night ever.¡±


    ¡°Were you with a cute guy?¡±


    Cute didn¡¯t seem to cut it with Nick. ¡°You have no idea. He is hot, I mean like really hot and he¡¯s considerate. One of my favorite things about him is that he loves my smart ass mouth. Oh, and he¡¯s an awesome kisser.¡± I thought it might be wise to leave off the part about him giving me my first big O. ¡°Tillie, I seriously think I could fall for this guy.¡±


    I heard my aunt giggle at me. ¡°I think you already have. Look at you. You¡¯re actually giddy. I¡¯ve never seen you like that about a guy.¡±


    ¡°I know. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to sleep tonight because I¡¯m so excited about being with him tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°What do your parents think of him?¡±


    I wished she hadn¡¯t asked me that because I didn¡¯t even want to think about what they¡¯d say about Nick. ¡°They haven¡¯t met him, but I can already tell you that they wouldn''t approve.¡±


    ¡°Oh, honey, you don¡¯t know that¡±


    ¡°I do. He¡¯s from Collinsville and that¡¯s all they need to know for them to discredit him. He doesn¡¯t have money or social influence so they¡¯ll give me the thumbs down before they even meet him. You know how they are.¡±


    ¡°Maybe they won¡¯t. You can¡¯t be for sure until you try.¡±


    ¡°They want me to be with someone like Cooper. Never mind the fact that he¡¯s a dickhead that gave me an ultimatum to sleep with him or hit the road. Mother never even asked me what happened. She just blamed me for him breaking up with me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m so sorry, honey. Do you want me to talk to Vivian for you?¡±


    ¡°Nah. Let her think I¡¯m a total disappointment instead of a virgin. Serves her right.¡±


    ¡°Does this lucky young fella have a name?¡±


    ¡°As a matter of fact, he does. His name is Nick Hawke. Gah, I even love saying his name. Is that weird?¡±


    I looked up from where I lay on the couch when my aunt didn¡¯t answer and I saw that she had sat up on the edge of the chaise. ¡°Something wrong, Tillie?¡±


    ¡°No, nothing¡¯s wrong. Please, go on. I want to know everything about your Nick.¡±


    My phone alerted me to a text and I knew it was Nick without looking.


    ¡°Got to T¡¯s ok?¡±

 Page 21

    I smiled because he was checking on me. ¡°It¡¯s Nick. He¡¯s checking to make sure I got here safely.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Yes. Telling T about our night minus the titillating details.¡±


    ¡°I loved the titillating details.¡±


    ¡°Me 2. UR so bad.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what they tell me.¡±


    ¡°Stoked about tom.¡±


    ¡°Want to have more titillating details tom?¡±


    ¡°Def.¡± Was he kiddin¡¯ me? Hell yeah, I wanted to have lots and lots of more titillating details.


    ¡°Be careful. Making no more promises.¡±


    ¡°You promise?¡± I hit send before I had a chance to back out and wondered what was wrong with me? That was basically as good as telling him I wanted to bow chicka wow wow.


    ¡°I promise no more promises.¡± Oh, shit. That meant all was fair play.


    ¡°Good. See U tom at 12. Your house?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Until then...thinking about titillating details.¡± Yeah, I bet he was thinking about titillating details. Who was I kiddin¡¯? I was thinking about them, too. And probably would the rest of the night.


    ¡°Ditto.¡±


    I put my phone down and quietly squealed as I fell back against the couch again and began to spill everything I knew about Nick, including how hard I was falling for him.


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    I felt amazingly well for someone that stayed up talking to Tillie about Nick until the sun was up. She wanted to know everything about Nick and I realized there were still so many things I didn¡¯t know about him, so I had investigation work ahead of me today.


    But I had business to tend to before I went to Nick¡¯s. I had to see Claire.


    I pulled up at her house and then walked in without knocking like I always did. I had practically spent half my childhood in this house and to knock would have felt weird.


    It was a weekday so Jessie and the Deverauxs were at work. The house was quiet so I knew Claire was being a total bum and sleeping late, but that wouldn¡¯t last because I was gettin¡¯ her ass up. I needed girly advice.


    I climbed the stairs and her door was standing wide open. Good. I wanted to scare her and I probably wouldn¡¯t accomplish that if I had to open the door.


    I tiptoed silently across the floor until I was standing at her bedside. I gave her comforter a jerk to wake her up and realized too late that she wasn¡¯t asleep and she wasn¡¯t in her bed alone.


    Claire reached for the sheet and jerked it up to her neck. ¡°What the hell, Payton?¡¯


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry. I thought you had the covers pulled over your head to block out the sun. I didn¡¯t know Jessie was under there with you. I thought he was at work, but don¡¯t let me interrupt. I¡¯m leaving.¡±


    This was one of those rare moments when I was embarrassed. ¡°As you were, Kimosabe.¡± Eww, that sounded weird and I scrambled to get out of there as fast as possible. Both of them were my best friends, but seeing the two of them nekkid in bed together was simply TMI for me.


    I got in my car and checked the time. Eleven o¡¯clock meant I had an hour to burn and I was fresh out of ideas so I texted Nick to see if we could get together earlier?


    ¡°Sure. Come now?¡±


    ¡°On my way.¡±


    After the drive to Nick¡¯s from Franklin, I was only 40 minutes earlier than we originally planned. I knocked a few times and he came to the door wearing the same attire he told me to wear except he had added a Vols ball cap.


    He reached for my hand, pulled me inside his house and shut the door. He put his hands around my waist and pulled me close. ¡°Girl, I¡¯ve missed you and I¡¯m about to mess up your lip gloss.¡±


    He kissed me gently at first and it became increasingly hungrier with each stroke of his tongue against mine. He started walking backwards toward the couch, pulling me with him until we were in the spot where we shared our first kiss.


    When he stopped kissing me, he ran his fingertips along my face. I noticed he did that a lot, like he enjoyed touching my face.


    I felt the same way as him. We had been apart for too long, but I wasn¡¯t ready to show him my hand so I put on my familiar poker face. ¡°It¡¯s only been ten hours since we were together.¡±


    He squeezed me tightly and put his nose against my neck and inhaled deeply. ¡°Ten hours, ten days, what¡¯s the difference?¡±


    He kissed my neck right below my ear. ¡°Umm, I think that¡¯s roughly nine and half days.¡±


    He laughed softly and then whispered against my ear. ¡°That¡¯s my girl. Always a clever comeback. Are you ready to go?¡±


    No. I rather do this the rest of the day. ¡°Sure. Where are we going?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not telling you until we get there.¡± We walked to the front door and he opened it for me and then we briefly held hands to his car. He opened the car door for me and I turned to him before I got in. ¡°You are killing me with this secretive stuff.¡±


    He leaned over and smiled as he gave me a quick kiss. ¡°I¡¯ll give you another clue. It¡¯s not a girl thing, but the girls that like it, love it, and it¡¯s a rush.¡±


    That could almost be frightening. He walked around the car and I could see that he was still smiling. He got in beside me and I watched him for a minute. ¡°That was probably the worst clue ever, so no more. I¡¯ll find out what it is when I find out so I¡¯m changing the subject. You¡¯re wearing a UT cap. Are you a fan?¡±


    He pulled out of his drive. ¡°Yeah. Isn¡¯t everyone from around these parts?¡±


    ¡°No, not really, but I¡¯m enrolled there this fall. Funny story. My mom has been determined my entire life that I would go to her Alma Mater, so I picked UT to piss her off. Mission accomplished. She¡¯s mad as hell and I love it.


    He shook his head, but didn¡¯t look in my direction. ¡°Man, you don¡¯t even see how lucky you are. I get the privilege of going to a community college and that¡¯s with student loans.¡±


    ¡°There are some really great community colleges. Besides, the police academy is where you¡¯ll learn the real stuff, right? I mean the parts about how to be a cop and stay safe?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. When I¡¯m getting shot at, an education from UT isn¡¯t what¡¯s gonna save me.¡±


    I wished I hadn¡¯t brought up the part about his safety. I didn¡¯t like the way it made me feel to think about him being in danger. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t say things like that.¡±


    ¡°Why would I not say things like that? Danger is going to be a part of my life every time I¡¯m on the job.¡±


    I had an uncontrollable urge to touch him. I reached for his free hand and squeezed it tightly in mine before I brought it to my mouth to kiss. I held on to his hand when he moved it to my leg and I watched him as he drove us to wherever we would be spending our afternoon while we got our rush on together.


    Could I be with someone like him? I mean could I risk being with someone that enjoyed adrenalin, danger and living life on the edge the way he did? There were so many uncertain things in my head, but I was sure of one thing. I was playing my own dangerous game with him and the cost of losing was high price to pay...my heart.


    16 Glocks and Ginnys


    Nick


    I parked by the cabin and turned off the engine. Payton looked at the old rustic building and then back at me. ¡°What is this place?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s our hunting cabin.¡±


    Something about that amused her. ¡°Okay, what exactly do you think we¡¯re gonna be hunting?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not hunting anything.¡± I reached under my seat and slid my Glock 17 out. I took it out of the box and held it up for her to see. ¡°We¡¯re target practicing.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re crazy! Did you know that?¡± She shook her head. ¡°Nope, I¡¯m not shooting anything. Guns scare me. I¡¯ve never even touched one.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll love it. I promise. When you take a shot and hit a target, you get a surge of adrenalin that I don¡¯t even know how to describe.¡±


    ¡°I think I prefer a Nick induced thrill like last night rather than a gun induced one.¡±


    I liked the sound of that. ¡°Agree to shoot with me and maybe you¡¯ll get both kinds of rushes.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t have a clue what to do.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± I leaned over and kissed her forehead. ¡°I¡¯m gonna show you what to do.¡±


    We walked behind the cabin where Dad and I had built a homemade set of multilevel beams to house our targets and I set up a line of beer bottles on each shelf. ¡°Watch me first so you can get an idea of what to do.¡±


    I took my stance. ¡°Your feet should be shoulder width apart like this and square with your hips. The majority of your weight should be on the balls of your feet.¡±


    ¡°Now I see why you told me to wear sneakers instead of my tall ass heels.¡±


    ¡°Baby, I love you in those tall ass heels, but they weren¡¯t gonna cut it out here in the boonies with a pistol.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know that. Maybe I¡¯m a Charlie¡¯s Angel natural.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m positive you¡¯re an angel, but we¡¯ll see about the natural part.¡± I held the Glock out away from Payton and positioned my hands around the grip. ¡°Your left hand should be high on the pistol with both of your thumbs almost touching the side like this. Put your left thumb forward so it is in front of your right and both should be pointing at the target. Think of your left hand as the steering wheel so squeeze a little harder with it. Hold your arms out straight, but don¡¯t completely lock them, and take aim at your target.¡±


    I stretched my arms toward the first bottle and then took all eight of them out one by one. ¡°Think you can do that, Angel?¡±


    ¡°I think I rather watch you do it.¡± She broke into a huge smile. ¡°Damn, Nick, that was so hot. I don¡¯t think I got it all. Wanna do it again for me? So I can watch your technique?¡±


    ¡°One more time and then you¡¯re gonna give it a try.¡±


    I had nine rounds left in the magazine so I lined up nine more bottles because that¡¯s how confident I was in my accuracy.

 Page 22

    Bam! Knocked all nine out perfectly. I dropped the magazine out and started reloading it. ¡°Don¡¯t be nervous. The worst thing you can do is miss.¡± I slid the magazine back in when I finished loading it and held it out for Payton.Advertisement


    She stared at it, but didn¡¯t make a move to take it from me. ¡°I¡¯m nervous.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be. Come here and I¡¯ll help you.¡± From behind, I wrapped my arms around her before I took her hands and placed them on the grip of my Glock. ¡°Thumbs here and here. Squeeze more with this hand because you¡¯ll use it to aim. Hold your arms straight out.¡± I noticed her feet were next to each other without any distance between them so I leaned around and put my mouth against her ear. ¡°Spread your legs.¡±


    She giggled as she moved her feet apart. ¡°You are so bad.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to be a good instructor,¡± I said innocently.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve had enough practice to be an expert instructor.¡±


    Okay. The line became hazy somewhere along the way and I wasn¡¯t sure if we were talking about target shooting or sex. ¡°What can I say? I¡¯m good at what I do.¡±


    ¡°So far, you¡¯ve been quite excellent at everything you¡¯ve done.¡±


    Hmm. I was very fond of hearing her praise.


    ¡°New shooters tend to want to go low and to the left, so lift a little and bring it a tad to the right. We¡¯re aiming for the first bottle on the top left. Are you ready?¡±


    ¡°Boy, am I ever.¡±


    I helped her aim in just the right spot. ¡°Okay. Pull the trigger back.¡±


    She hesitated and I could feel her trembling. ¡°Are you scared?¡±


    ¡°Hell, yeah, I¡¯m scared.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be. I¡¯m with you all the way. Let me count and you can pull the trigger on three. Okay?¡±


    She inhaled deeply and then blew it out slowly. ¡°Okay, I¡¯m ready. I can do this.¡±


    ¡°Here goes. One...Two...Three.¡± On three she pulled the trigger and took the top off of the first longneck.


    When she realized she had hit it, she let out a loud squeal but didn¡¯t move a muscle. ¡°Woo! That was awesome and you were so right. What a rush.¡±


    ¡°So, you liked it?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I wanna do it again.¡±


    This girl was full of surprises. Could she be anymore perfect for me? ¡°You wanna do it by yourself this time?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I think I do.¡±


    I took my arms away. ¡°Remember your stance and where to hold the pressure. Bring it up and to the right just a hair. Do you want me to count again?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I think that helped.¡±


    ¡°Okay. One...Two...Three.¡± She pulled the trigger and missed.


    ¡°Hmm, I missed.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Try again.¡± I reached for her arms and brought them up for her. ¡°Lift them just a little higher this time and breathe. Don¡¯t hold your breath.¡±


    ¡°Ready?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    One...Two...Three.¡± She missed again. And then again.


    I could see she was getting frustrated. ¡°Ugh! This isn¡¯t easy. I need you to help me.¡±


    I put my arms around her again to help her aim. ¡°I didn¡¯t get good at this in one day. I¡¯ve been doing it since I was eleven. Relax. You¡¯re stiff as a board.¡±


    She let her shoulders go loose and I pushed her hair away from her neck to hang over her left shoulder. I leaned into her and put my mouth against her right ear. ¡°Breathe. Loosen your shoulders and tighten your arms. One...Two...Three.¡±


    Together we took out the other eight longnecks and then an additional dozen without a single wasted bullet. I dropped the magazine out to check it and then slid it back in when I saw it was empty. ¡°I think we make a great team.¡±


    ¡°I could agree with that, but I think the teacher was greater than the student.¡±


    I put my empty gun back in its case and we started walking toward my car. ¡°Shooting small targets takes a lot of practice.¡±


    ¡°Well, seeing how good you are at shooting makes me worry a little less about you becoming a police officer.¡±


    ¡°It worries you?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it does.¡±


    Wow. I¡¯d never felt like anyone had worried about me except Dallas and Ginny. I put my gun case on the ground and turned the bill of my cap around to the back before I put my hands on Payton¡¯s waist to pull her closer. ¡°You couldn¡¯t possibly imagine how hard I¡¯m falling for you.¡±


    ¡°I bet I have a pretty good idea.¡± She put her arms up around my shoulders and I lifted her to sit on the hood of my car. She leaned back, bringing me with her as I fell between her bent knees. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pressed my body into hers as my mouth moved over her neck. ¡°How have you managed to put me under your spell, Payton Archer?¡±


    She grabbed my ball cap by the bib on the back of my head and gave it a toss onto the windshield of my car. She laced her fingers through my hair, grabbing two fistfuls and pulled it hard, forcing me to look up at her. ¡°Let¡¯s go back to my house.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Let¡¯s go back to my house. Was that an excuse to get me to cool my jets or an invitation for something much different? I had no idea with Payton because she wasn¡¯t like the girls I was used to, but she certainly seemed inclined to get physical and the ride home didn¡¯t make me think otherwise.


    She reached for my hand as I pulled away from the cabin and didn¡¯t let go as I drove toward my house to pick up her car. She held it firmly and slowly stroked my arm from my hand up to my bicep and back down the whole way home.


    By the time we got to my house, Payton¡¯s touch had me so wound so tightly I thought I might spring at any moment. That was until we pulled up at my house and I saw Ginny¡¯s car parked on the street.


    No. Not today. Not right now. Not when Payton had just asked me to go to her house while her parents were still gone. Man, nothing could kill a boner faster than your grandmother. I leaned my head forward and put it on the steering wheel.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°My grandmother is here.¡±


    She didn¡¯t let go of my hand. ¡°Then you have to go in to see her and we can get together another time.¡±


    There was no way I was letting her get away from me. ¡°Come in with me and meet her.¡±


    ¡°Really? You think I¡¯m grandmother worthy?¡±


    Was she kiddin¡¯ me? She was way beyond grandmother worthy. ¡°Of course. Ginny will love you.¡±


    ¡°Ginny. That¡¯s a cool name for a grandmother.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s short for Ginger.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ll come in and meet your Ginny if you¡¯re sure I won¡¯t be intruding.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t stop the huge smile that spread across my face as I leaned over and gave her a kiss. ¡°I¡¯m positive.¡±


    We walked through the front door and found Ginny and Dallas in the kitchen. I had forgotten. Today was her day to give Dallas cooking lessons.


    I let go of Payton¡¯s hand and went over to kiss my grandmother. ¡°Ginny, I have someone for you to meet. This is Payton Archer.¡±


    My grandmother looked at Payton and then back to me and smiled. Me bringing a girl home had obviously taken her by surprise. ¡°I¡¯m so happy to meet you, Payton.¡±


    Ginny didn¡¯t do handshakes. She was a hugger and she took Payton by surprise when she put the sack of flour down to come over and embrace her. ¡°Are you the girl that¡¯s going to tame my Nickolas?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid the jury is still out on whether he¡¯s tamable or not.¡±


    I knew my Ginny was in love with Payton when she started laughing. ¡°Oh, she¡¯s saucy, Nickolas.¡± She wrapped her arm around Payton and pulled her close as she whispered something in her ear she didn¡¯t want me to hear.


    Whatever it was made Payton very happy as evidenced by her smile. ¡°I promise. I will definitely do that.¡±


    ¡°Now, Miss Payton. Do you cook?¡±


    ¡°No, ma''am. No one has ever showed me how.¡±


    Ginny went to the closet and pulled out one of Dallas¡¯ extra aprons. ¡°Here, put this on. I¡¯m teaching Dallas how to do fried chicken, smashed potatoes, green beans and biscuits with gravy.¡°


    ¡°No, Ginny. We can¡¯t stay.¡± I looked at Payton and grinned. ¡°We have somewhere to be.¡±


    Payton slid the apron over her head and tied it around her waist as she smiled at me. ¡°I think we can stay for a little while.¡±


    I conceded and went to the living room to watch television while Ginny had her way with Payton and Dallas. I often heard whispering, followed by a rush of laughter and I was positive they were laughing at me about some sort of nonsense. The weird thing about it was that I¡¯d catch myself smiling when they did it because I liked it. I liked having Payton in my house with my sister and grandmother and I liked the way they were in the kitchen together bonding over fried chicken.


    An hour later, Payton came out of the kitchen and sat next to me on the couch. ¡°You¡¯re not mad because I wanted to stay, are you?¡±


    ¡°Of course not.¡±


    ¡°Would you mind if we stayed to eat?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we have a choice. Ginny isn¡¯t gonna let you do all that work and then watch you leave without eating.¡±


    She leaned over and put her head on my shoulder. ¡°Thank you. I had so much fun and Ginny taught me a lot. I actually made homemade biscuits. I can¡¯t believe it. If they¡¯re terrible, you can¡¯t tell me. It would break my heart.¡±


    ¡°Doll Face, I promise you I¡¯ll never do anything to break your heart.¡±


    ¡°You mean that?¡±


    I kissed the top of her head. ¡°Every word.¡± And I did mean it. I would rather die than do anything to break this beautiful girl¡¯s heart.


    ¡°Ginny said we¡¯d be eating without your dad because he wouldn¡¯t be home from work until later tonight.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, his shift isn¡¯t over until seven and he usually doesn¡¯t get home until almost eight.¡±

 Page 23

    ¡°Okay. We¡¯ll save him a plate.¡± She got up from the couch and tugged on me to coax me up. ¡°Get in here and try my food.¡±Advertisement


    I probably ate too fast. One...because it was so good and two...because I was ready to get some alone time with Payton back at her house. I mentally screamed when she offered to help clean up after dinner, so I got in there and helped to speed up the process.


    Dallas took note of my never seen before help. ¡°You never help clean after a meal. Trying to make a good impression with Payton?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s it,¡± I lied because it was easier that way. I put the last dish into the cabinet and made our getaway announcement as I went over to kiss my grandmother. ¡°We¡¯ve got to go, Ginny. Thanks for supper. It was great as always.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t forget that your Payton cooked a lot of it.¡±


    My Payton. Hmm, I liked that.


    Payton slipped off her apron and passed it to Dallas before she went over to give my grandmother a hug. ¡°Thank you for everything you taught me.¡±


    ¡°I come once a week to teach Dallas and I¡¯d love to have you back.¡±


    ¡°I would love that.¡± She turned to me as if to ask permission and I shrugged, letting her know that it was her decision and fine by me. The thought of Payton spending time with my family made me very happy, but nothing could make me as happy as getting her alone again and that was next on my agenda.


    17 A Part of Nick


    Payton


    We came in through the front door instead of using the garage. Nick had his arms around me so he used his foot to kick it closed. He slid his arms down around my waist and squeezed me in a tight bear hug as he lifted my feet from the floor. When he finished, he put me back down and scanned the house. ¡°You¡¯re sure your parents aren¡¯t here?¡±


    ¡°Positive.¡±


    ¡°Good.¡± He cupped my face with both of his hands and stared at it like he was searching for anything that might have possibly changed since this afternoon. ¡°I thought I¡¯d die before I got you here so we could be alone.¡±


    My lips felt dry because my lip gloss had worn off so I lightly ran my tongue over them to be ready for his kiss. He slowly rubbed his thumb across the moisture and spread it over my entire mouth. ¡°I love these lips.¡±


    His teasing was killing me. ¡°Hurry up and kiss me because I think I¡¯m gonna scream if you don¡¯t.¡±


    He gently pushed me toward the door behind me. ¡°Maybe you¡¯ll scream if I do.¡±


    The few hours since he had me on the hood of his car was too long ago so I fisted the front of his shirt and pulled him close. My mouth crashed against his and our kiss wasn¡¯t soft nor sweet. My mouth was demanding because he was like a drug in my veins and I needed more and more of him.


    With my back still pressed against the inside of the front door, I lifted my arms up around his neck and leaped to wrap my legs around his waist. I clearly surprised him, but he caught my legs and held me firmly as he pushed my back against the interior of the front door.


    He backed away and kissed me as he carried me toward the living room. We tumbled onto the couch with him on top of me and I instinctively pulled my legs up around him while the weight of his body pressed me into the couch.


    I loved having him on top of me and between my legs, but I was blindly pushing buttons I didn¡¯t know how to control. I was shoving him to the outer limits of his control and I had no right to do that if I wasn¡¯t planning to close the deal.


    He was kissing down my neck while he pressed his groin into mine and I was starting to have some those wonderful tingling sensations I felt the night before. I had this instinctive inclination that just a little more would make it feel even better. I didn¡¯t want to tell him to stop, but I had to.


    My voice was much weaker than I meant for it to be. ¡°Nick?¡±


    He never took his lips away from my neck. ¡°Uh huh?¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to say the words, but I had to before I lost myself completely and let him do anything he wanted to me. ¡°Look at me.¡±


    He stopped kissing me and lifted his head to see my face. I dreaded saying the words he had never heard before. I hated being the first one to tell him ¡®no.¡¯


    ¡°I¡¯ve never been with anyone before and I¡¯m not ready. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    He smiled that lopsided grin I loved so much, but it wasn¡¯t what I wanted to see after telling him I wasn¡¯t ready to have sex with him. What did he find so amusing? Was it my lack of experience or was he pleased with himself for predicting I would slam on the brakes. Neither option made me happy.


    I tried to slide out from underneath him, but he was too heavy and I was pinned. ¡°You¡¯re laughing at me.¡±


    He pushed his arms under me and lowered his head to my shoulder to give me a big squeeze, very much like the one he gave me by the front door. ¡°Mmm. I love that you¡¯re not ready and I have to wait, but I especially love that no guy has ever been inside you. It gives me something special to look forward to.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t laughing at my lack of sexual experience. My virginal status and desire to stay that way a while longer actually made him happy. Who knew turning a guy down and telling him he would have to wait could make him so happy?


    He sucked my bottom lip and it made a popping sound when he released it. ¡°This is a first for me. I¡¯ve never had to buy the cow before.¡±


    I didn¡¯t need to be reminded that he always got the milk for free. ¡°Okay, you¡¯re damn lucky I know what you mean by that.¡±


    He sat up, pulling me with him and placed a feather light kiss against my mouth. His lips were still against mine as he whispered, ¡°The anticipation of having you under me and being inside you is so much better than any sure thing I¡¯ve ever had in the past.¡±


    Just hearing him say stuff like that turned me on and made me think about what it would be like with him. Suddenly, all I could feel was my heart pounding in my ears and my fingers going tingly.


    He gave me a quick peck and leaned away too soon. ¡°I need you to help me figure this out. I¡¯ve never had a girlfriend, so what does a couple do on a Friday night?¡±


    Girlfriend. I think he just called me his girlfriend. Maybe. God, I loved the sound of the word coming out of his mouth and it made me wanna kiss him bad, but I needed to know for sure what I was to him. ¡°You said you¡¯d never had a girlfriend before. Did you mean that in general or did you mean...?¡±


    ¡°I meant that you¡¯re my first girlfriend. Is that what you want?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I want. I just needed to be clear about it so there was no misunderstanding. And as for what we should do...we can do anything we want. Maybe even more of what we were just doing?¡±


    He looked down at my legs and shook his head. ¡°Not if you want to keep those jeans on.¡±


    He said the hottest things and had the power to turn me on in a second flat. How in the world was I ever going to keep from getting naked with him?


    ¡°Most dates are something like dinner and a movie. Maybe bowling or a concert. Something like that, but all I want to do tonight is stay here to talk and enjoy this alone time.¡±


    ¡°No argument here.¡± He lay on the couch on his side and pulled me in front of him to spoon. ¡°Where are your parents?¡±


    ¡°My dad had a work conference in Vegas and my mom went with him.¡±


    ¡°What kind of work does your dad do?¡±


    My parents weren¡¯t really the what I had on my mind when I said I wanted to talk. ¡°Stock broker. Investments. That kind of thing.¡±


    He gestured to my house with his hand. ¡°Big time money making kinds of things. And your mom is an attorney?¡±


    My mom was more of a prima donna in a tennis skirt than a hot shot attorney. Becoming a lawyer was never about law for my mom. It was all about using her career to put her in contact with very rich people so she could find a very rich husband. ¡°She used to be, but she hasn¡¯t practiced since before I was born.¡±


    He found something I said amusing. ¡°You forgot to mention that part when you threatened me with your mom after you rammed your car into mine.¡±


    I had forgotten about that. ¡°For your information, I didn¡¯t ram my car into yours. I gently bumped it and it was all your fault.¡±


    He was amused by that. ¡°How was it my fault when all I was doing was sitting at a red light?¡±


    I laced my fingers through his hand that was draped over my waist. ¡°Jessie was warning me and Claire about you and your man whoring ways. He called you a Sex Tricks Jedi and I got so out of sorts that my foot slipped off the brake and hit the gas pedal.¡±


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s why you called me Jedi the night we met.¡± He pulled me closer for a hug and kissed the top of my head. ¡°I¡¯m glad you gently bumped me. I¡¯ll have to thank Jessie later for dogging on me, otherwise I wouldn¡¯t have met you and that would have been a tragedy.¡±


    I looked up and over my shoulder at him. ¡°Yes, that definitely would have been a tragedy.¡±


    He kissed my temple. ¡°You¡¯re not going to introduce me to your parents or tell them about me, are you?¡±


    I turned back around so I didn¡¯t have to look at him. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t be missing anything by not meeting them.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I get it.¡± I heard the hurt in his voice. He thought my reasons for not introducing him to my parents was because I thought he wasn¡¯t good enough, but that wasn¡¯t it at all. He was too good for them. That¡¯s not how my parents would see it, but I at least owed him an honest answer about it.


    I stroked my hand over his. ¡°Nick, my parents have expectations for who I should date and a Collinsville guy planning to be a police officer doesn¡¯t come remotely close to meeting their approval.¡±


    ¡°So I¡¯m good enough to risk my life every day on the job so they can be protected, but I¡¯m not good enough to date their daughter?¡±


    Yep, he totally got it. ¡°They¡¯re assholes and you¡¯re better off not meeting them. But hey, you meet my approval and I¡¯m the only one that counts. Besides, you are gonna look so yummy in that officer¡¯s uniform.¡±

 Page 24

    ¡°Even when I cut all of this off?¡±Advertisement


    Cut what off? I turned over to face him when I realized what he meant. My heart stammered because I loved his messy hair. It was one of the things that made him so sexy. ¡°No way. You have great hair. I won¡¯t let you buzz it all off.¡±


    He reached up and gave some a yank. ¡°Police officers don¡¯t walk around with hair like this.¡±


    He was so wrong about that. ¡°Sexy ones do.¡±


    ¡°Umm, that would be the kind that get paid to wear a fake uniform and strip it off at bachelorette parties.¡±


    Whew! That had me thinking thoughts I shouldn¡¯t.¡± We don¡¯t need to talk about stripping police uniforms off so tell me about something safer. What about your mom? You¡¯ve never mentioned her.¡±


    Silence. At first, I thought he wasn¡¯t going to answer me and I was about to tell him he didn¡¯t have to talk about her if he didn¡¯t want to. Then a moment later, something almost tangible squeezed my heart when he started to talk about his mom. ¡°She left us when I was six.¡±


    ¡°Do you ever see her?¡±


    He slowly shook his head. ¡°Nope. Not since the day she walked out on us. I don¡¯t have a clue where she is. I¡¯m pretty sure my dad knows, but just doesn¡¯t tell us.¡±


    ¡°Do you know why she left?¡±


    I ran my hand up and down his arm as he told me what little he remembered. ¡°I suspect there was another man, but I don¡¯t know for sure. I asked my dad about her several years ago and he wouldn¡¯t tell me anything. I dropped it all together but I have a vague memory of being in his closet and finding a file on her. I must have been pretty young when I found it because I don¡¯t remember much about what it said, but I know she had remarried and had more kids.¡±


    ¡°So you have brothers or sisters you¡¯ve never met?¡±


    ¡°Maybe. I don¡¯t know. After she left, I was so hurt and angry that I told people she died. I was only six and I guess I thought it hurt less to think of her as dead than not loving me enough to stay.¡± He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it. ¡°You¡¯re the only person I¡¯ve ever told all this to.¡±


    I held his hand as he told me what it felt like to grow up thinking no one could love him if his own mother didn¡¯t. I wanted to go back in time and tell him how wrong he was for thinking that, but the best I could offer was to listen.


    He might have been with a lot of girls, but he just gave me something he had never given to a one of them...a part of himself.


    Nick¡¯s mother was the reason behind that tattoo spread over his heart and the reason he tried unsuccessfully to find comfort in any willing girl. Her selfish choices had almost ruined him. Almost. I found myself hating a woman I would never know and wondered if I would be able to fix the cracks she left behind on his heart.


    18 Say My Name


    Nick


    It felt good to open up and tell Payton about my mom and what she had done. Most importantly, I was finally able to admit how painful it was. When I decided to share that part of my life, I didn¡¯t realize how I was opening my heart to her. With only one look into her eyes, I knew I was offering her a piece of myself and she was happily accepting it.


    She didn¡¯t try to give me generic words about how it wasn¡¯t my fault or how everything was going to be okay. She simply held my hand while she listened to me tell her how damaged I was and that¡¯s when I had no doubt. I loved this girl and I finally understood that place my dad warned me about...the point of no return.


    Payton and I were stretched out on the sofa side by side in the dark with only the light of the moon coming through the window. It had been a little while since either of us had said anything. Payton was motionless and I thought she had fallen asleep but then she rolled over to face me and put her arms up around my neck. ¡°Don¡¯t go.¡±


    I gave her a gentle kiss and tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth. ¡°I¡¯ll stay as long as you want.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant.¡± She feathered a kiss across my mouth. ¡°I¡¯m not going to Tillie¡¯s and I want you to stay with me.¡±


    Any other time I would have taken that as an invitation for sex, but not with Payton after our discussion and I was okay with that. ¡°I will if it¡¯s what you want.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s what I want.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll need to let my dad know I¡¯m not coming home tonight.¡± I reached for my phone in my pocket and texted my dad.


    ¡°Staying at a friend¡¯s tonight. CU in a.m.¡±


    He would ask where I had been when I got home and I didn¡¯t plan on lying. It would no doubt cause an argument so I guessed Payton and I were in very similar situations. When it came to our parents¡¯ opinions about us being together, they would be in agreement on keeping us apart even if the reasons were polar opposites.


    I wasn¡¯t going to waste another minute of my precious time with Payton worrying about my confrontation with my dad because all I cared about now was having her in my arms.


    ¡°Can I call Claire real quick? I sort of need to check in with her and Jessie because I could possibly owe them an apology.¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°I went over to Claire¡¯s this morning because I needed to talk to her. When I walked in, the house was super quiet so I thought everyone was at work and she was sleeping late. I was gonna wake her up by jerking her covers off and screaming, ¡°Rise and shine.¡± Well, there was some rise and definitely some shine because Jessie was in bed with her and they weren¡¯t wearing clothes.¡±


    ¡°I knew he was sneakin¡¯ into her bed.¡±


    Payton¡¯s phone rang right before she reached for it and she saw that it was Claire. ¡°I swear I think we have telepathy sometimes.¡± She slid the bar and said, ¡°Hey, I was just about to call you to tell you again how sorry I am for walking in on you and Jessie. I had no idea. I swear I thought he was at work.¡±


    She looked at me and smiled. ¡°He¡¯s at my house right now.¡±


    She drew an invisible heart on my leg with her finger. ¡°We¡¯re together together.¡±


    She pointed to her phone and rolled her eyes. ¡°I know that. We took the same Biology class. Remember?¡±


    That had the ring of a safe sex talk about it.


    ¡°Maybe you should take your own advice because I¡¯m pretty sure that was you I found naked with your boyfriend this morning. The same boyfriend who you say you aren¡¯t having sex with.¡± Yep, she was definitely trying to give Payton the safe sex talk.


    ¡°I believe you.¡± She held the phone out to me. ¡°Jessie wants to talk to you.¡±


    I fell back against the couch and groaned. For real? When was he gonna stop this protective brother bullshit? I was gonna seriously blow my top if he tried to add insult to injury by giving me the safe sex talk when I wasn¡¯t gettin¡¯ any.


    I took the phone from Payton, prepared to tell Jessie to screw himself if he started lecturing me. ¡°Waddup?¡±


    ¡°Claire says you and Payton are together now.¡±


    I felt myself immediately becoming defensive. ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Wait for it. Wait for it and here we go with the warnings about how I better not hurt her, but that¡¯s not what came next.


    ¡°I¡¯m happy for you, man. I think you¡¯ll be good for each other.¡±


    That wasn¡¯t what I expected to hear. ¡°Thanks, man, and just so you know...I plan on being good for her.¡±


    ¡°I believe you, but if you hurt her, Claire will make good on her threat to yank your balls up over your ears.¡± Now, this was more like it. That¡¯s more like what I expected to hear out of him.


    ¡°Neither of you have to worry because I¡¯m not gonna hurt her. I swear it.¡±


    I wrapped up my conversation with Jessie and passed the phone back to Payton so she could say bye to Claire. When she got off the phone, she looked at me and smiled. ¡°Overprotective, huh?¡±


    ¡°Maybe a little bit.¡±


    ¡°A little bit my ass. I think they¡¯re afraid we¡¯ll get it on before they do.¡±


    ¡°What? They live in the same house. Do you really think he¡¯s not banging her every night?¡± Ooh, bad choice of words to say to my new girlfriend. ¡°Sorry. That didn¡¯t come out right.¡±


    ¡°Nick, I may be a virgin but my ears aren¡¯t. I¡¯m okay with you calling it ¡®banging.¡¯ I happen to have some very colorful names for it myself.¡±


    Man, she was already an awesome girlfriend and I couldn¡¯t wait to hear what her colorful names were.


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying he hasn¡¯t tasted her nectar, but trust me. They aren¡¯t locking loins. Claire¡¯s dad put a cock block on Jessie. He warned him before he moved in with them that if he found out they were having sex, he was out on his ass. It was actually a very smart move on Dr. Deveraux¡¯s part. If he hadn¡¯t let him move in, Jessie would be hidin¡¯ the snake in Claire every day. This way, he gets to keep an eye on them and he guilted Jessie into keeping his daughter a virgin.¡±


    Another virgin? I had no idea there were so many. Must be a Franklin thing because it sure wasn¡¯t a Collinsville thing. ¡°There¡¯s plenty of places he could take her so her dad wouldn¡¯t catch them.¡±


    ¡°Claire has begged him, but he won¡¯t because he promised Dr. Deveraux he wouldn¡¯t. I think it¡¯s an honor thing with him because of the way he grew up. He wants to prove that he can do the right thing even though he was raised by two of the most unfit people in the world.¡±


    ¡°So...what¡¯s the deal? He¡¯s gonna marry Claire before they lock loins?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve got it and from the looks of it this morning, they¡¯ll be gettin¡¯ married a lot sooner than I thought. There¡¯s no way they¡¯ll hold out until they¡¯ve finished college if they¡¯re already gettin¡¯ naked together. That little sneak didn¡¯t tell me they were doing everything but the deed itself.¡±


    Wow. Jessie had really turned out to be a stand up kind of guy and I suddenly felt inferior. Payton wanted someone like him so that¡¯s what she would expect from me and I wondered if I could be this person for her? I only knew one thing for sure. I would try my damnedest to be anything she wanted me to be. Her game, her rules.

 Page 25

    She got up from the couch and grabbed my hand, giving it a tug. ¡°Come upstairs with me.¡±Advertisement


    Whoa! I knew she wanted me to stay all night, but that sounded like an invitation to sleep upstairs with her, maybe even in the same bed. While I freakin¡¯ loved the idea of being so close to her, I wasn¡¯t sure it was a good idea. Getting into bed with her would be like starting a fire I might not be able to contain.


    I had to quit thinking that way. That was the old me and I shouldn¡¯t jump to conclusions. It was wrong for me to assume she would want me to sleep with her in the same bed. She was probably putting me in the guest room. They certainly had enough of them.


    Please. Let her put me in the guest room.


    Nope. She took me into her bedroom. She let go of my hand and went over to the bed and started tossing the pillows over into the corner of her room. ¡°You can use my bathroom while I turn the bed back.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± That¡¯s all I could say and it sounded like it came from a twelve year-old boy going through puberty when it squeaked out of my mouth.


    I went into her bathroom and shut the door behind me. I looked around and saw her toothbrush in a holder. As if on cue, I heard her call out from her bedroom. ¡°You can use my toothbrush if that doesn¡¯t gross you out.¡±


    Nothing about her could ever gross me out. My mouth had already explored every part of hers, so what was so different about using her toothbrush? ¡°I don¡¯t mind if you¡¯re sure you don¡¯t,¡± I called out through the door.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡±


    When I finished brushing my teeth, I washed my face with Payton¡¯s girly soap that smelled just like her and then I stripped down to my boxers and stood looking at myself in the mirror. I was nervous, but not about what I was going to do. It was more about what I wasn¡¯t going to do.


    I tried to shake off the way she was messin¡¯ with my head, but it was impossible. Forget it. I was going out there in my boxers and I was gonna climb into that huge bed and sleep next to Payton without doing the thing I wanted to do most. We weren¡¯t locking loins so it shouldn¡¯t be complicated, except it was. It was the most complicated thing I had ever done with a girl.


    I opened the door and walked out like everything was cool, but it definitely wasn¡¯t. This was gonna be one long, rough night for me.


    She looked surprised to see me in nothing but my boxers and I wondered if I should have left my clothes on. Too late now. Man, I sucked at this. I had never been so unsure of myself.


    ¡°Done. All yours.¡± I tried to be casual but there was nothing casual about the way I was feeling.


    She went over to her dresser and pulled out whatever she planned to wear to bed. I didn¡¯t look because I would have died right then and there if it was something skimpy or sexy. That was the thing about always banging girls in my backseat. I¡¯d rarely ever been with one in a bed and I¡¯d sure never seen one walking around wearing something silky or sexy.


    She went in the bathroom and I got into her bed. I leaned over and smelled the pillow next to me to make sure I had chosen the side she didn¡¯t sleep on. Yep. The pillow next to me was floral and fruity, so I knew that was her side.


    It seemed like she stayed in the bathroom forever and I wondered if she was as nervous as me. Imagine that. I hadn¡¯t gotten nervous about being with a girl in a few years, but here I waited on a girl I wasn¡¯t gonna bone and I couldn¡¯t be more on edge about it.


    I had almost talked myself down from a full blown panic until she opened the door and my tilt-o-whirl of emotions spun out of control again.


    I hoped she would come out wearing an old T-shirt and boxers like my sister wore to bed, but dayum...what was I thinking? She lived in luxury, so she slept in luxury as well.


    She was wearing a red satin tank with spaghetti straps with a pair of matching shorts. Her blonde hair was in a knot on top of her head and her face was freshly washed. She was finishing up massaging lotion into the skin on her arms as she walked toward me and I could tell it was her signature smell. Peach and cherry blossoms. Ordinarily I would have no idea, but I had seen the bottle when I was in her bathroom.


    She pulled the covers back and climbed into bed next to me. She turned onto her side and propped her head on the inside of her bent arm. I mimicked her position and we spent the next few minutes staring at each other without speaking, but it wasn¡¯t awkward. It was like we were getting better acquainted with each other¡¯s faces.


    She slid her tongue across her lips, something I noticed she did a lot when she wasn¡¯t wearing lip gloss, and I couldn¡¯t resist leaning in to kiss her wet mouth. At first, our lips were the only thing touching, but then she slid her arms up around my neck as she scooted her upper body closer. I snaked my arms around her waist and slid her satin clad body across the smooth sheets until she was firmly pressed against my bare chest.


    She lowered one of her hands from my shoulder to my chest and rubbed my chest causing my nipple to harden. She slowly slid that same hand across my chest to the other side and repeated the process, except this time she rolled it between her thumb and index finger.


    She slid her hand back up to my shoulder and moved her mouth away from mine along my jawline. ¡°The first time I saw you, I fantasized about the way your scruffy face would feel against my body.¡±


    I moved my mouth down her neck and leaned over her, forcing her to her back. ¡°Then I think you need the full experience so you don¡¯t have to fantasize anymore.¡±


    We might not make love, but that didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t show her how good the things leading up to it could be. What was it she called it? Everything but the deed itself.


    I kissed her mouth gently and then slowly moved my scruffy chin down her throat to her chest. I slowly and deliberately slid my hands under her satin top so she had longer to anticipate the touch of my fingers against her breasts. I stroked my thumbs up and down on the outer edge of her breasts, teasing her so she¡¯d want more. I lifted her top higher and she surprised me when she sat up to pull it over her head. She tossed her red satin top to the floor and then fell back onto the bed watching my face for a reaction as her chest heaved up and down.


    ¡°Everything but the deed itself?¡±


    Her voice was entirely breathless when she answered me. ¡°Yes, everything but the deed itself.¡±


    ¡°Say my name.¡±


    She looked up at me and smiled. ¡°Nick.¡±


    ¡°Say it again, louder.¡±


    She scrunched her brows at me in question, but did as I told her. ¡°Nick.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what you¡¯re gonna want to scream when I make you feel like the only girl in the world.¡±


    19 Smoke That Clown


    Payton


    How many times did Nick make me scream his name? I had no idea because I lost count.


    I woke up first and found myself affixed to Nick¡¯s naked body. I don¡¯t know how we managed to do everything without the deed itself. Somehow it was the morning after and I was technically still a virgin, but that wouldn¡¯t last for long if we continued to do the things we did last night.


    Nick¡¯s restraint had to be made of iron clad steel because unlike me, he never seemed close to losing control. He never asked or even suggested we do the deed.


    I lifted my head from his chest slowly and looked down at the sheet covering him from the waist down. I didn¡¯t get a good look at it last night. All I wanted was one quick peek. It wouldn¡¯t hurt a thing and he¡¯d never even know because he was asleep. Besides, he saw me naked from all kinds of angles last night.


    I slowly reached for the sheet and lifted it ever so gently until I had the view I wanted. ¡°See something you like down there?¡±


    Shit! I jumped, startled at being caught peeking at his package and pulled the sheet up over my head to hide my embarrassment.


    ¡°I bet that¡¯s an even better view.¡±


    Double shit! Now my eyes were under the covers with it. I jerked the sheet down to my chest and squeezed my eyes tightly. ¡°You weren¡¯t supposed to know I was peeking. I thought you were asleep.¡±


    He threw the covers back. ¡°You can look all you want.¡±


    I rolled to my stomach and pressed my face into my pillow. ¡°No, I¡¯m good.¡±


    He reached for me and flipped me onto my back before he crawled over me. ¡°Why, yes you are, Miss Archer. You are very good.¡±


    He dropped his mouth to mine and kissed me gently. ¡°How are you still a virgin? I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ve ever seen anyone as horny as you.¡±


    I slapped him across his bare back as I dropped my lower jaw. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you just said that to me.¡±


    He started laughing. ¡°It¡¯s true. You react so strongly to even the simplest touch. I don¡¯t know how you¡¯ve contained it this long.¡±


    ¡°First of all, no guy has ever done those kinds of things to me and secondly, if he had, I don¡¯t think he could have made me feel the way you did. You¡¯re damn good at what you do.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d love nothing more than to be damn good at it again right now, but I really need to go.¡± He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss ¡°I¡¯ve got a race tomorrow night and I¡¯ve got to do some fine tuning on my car.¡±


    He got up from my bed in all of his naked glory and walked to my bathroom while I admired him from behind. Ooh. He didn¡¯t take his boxers with him. That meant he had to walk back out to get them and I¡¯d get to see his package in full view.


    He walked out of the bathroom toward me and I couldn¡¯t look. My eyes literally wouldn¡¯t leave his face. He was grinning at me and I saw his dimples. ¡°It¡¯s okay. You can look if you want. I promise I looked at you last night. I think I memorized every inch.¡±


    I wanted to, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to do it. ¡°I¡¯m good.¡±


    He reached for his underwear on the floor. ¡°Okay. I¡¯m putting my boxers on. I¡¯m pulling them up slowly. Only a few more seconds and then you¡¯ve missed your chance. Three. Two.¡± I couldn¡¯t stand it. I had to look before he pulled them all the way up. ¡°One.¡±


    Damn. I waited too long. I didn¡¯t get but about a one second view, but wow. What a view.

 Page 26

    He reached for his jeans and pulled them up. ¡°Will you come watch me race tomorrow night? I¡¯ll need a good luck kiss like the one you gave Dane.¡±Advertisement


    I sat up and tucked the sheet under my arms. ¡°Oh, no. I¡¯ll give you a better one than that. You¡¯ll feel it all the way down to your...toes.¡±


    ¡°Maybe you should practice now so you¡¯ll have it perfected by tomorrow night.¡± He leaned over and kissed me. ¡°Since your parents are coming home today, does that mean I won¡¯t see you until tomorrow night?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll have dinner plans for us, so I guess so.¡±


    ¡°Will you be able to make it that long without me doing everything except the deed itself to you?¡±


    I didn¡¯t know. I could see how it could become addictive real quick. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s something I need to ask you. Since you¡¯re my girlfriend now, could I ask you to be my companion for a banquet on Saturday night?¡±


    ¡°I would love to be your companion. What kind of banquet is it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a ceremony honoring my dad and some of the police officers in this region. It¡¯s sort of a big deal because my dad is being recognized with a special award.¡±


    ¡°Is it black tie?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s semiformal so you won¡¯t get to see me in a tux, but this could be your one and only chance to see me in a suit and tie.¡±


    I¡¯d have to find a way to get away without my parents seeing me in a semiformal dress. That would definitely send up a red flag. ¡°Can I meet you at your house?¡± I knew how that sounded. In other words, I was telling him to not pick me up at my house because I wasn¡¯t introducing him to my parents.


    ¡°Sure.¡± I heard the hurt in his voice, but it was better to hurt him a little now rather than have my parents forbid me from seeing him. I knew from experience that they weren¡¯t afraid to do that.


    He grabbed his T-shirt off my dresser and pulled it over his head. He came back to my bed to sit by me and he ran his fingers down my arm. ¡°God, I don¡¯t want to leave. I wish I could stay here with you in this bed all day, but I have a lot of stuff to do to get my car ready. This next guy isn¡¯t going to be as easy to beat.¡±


    ¡°You sound a little worried.¡±


    He kissed the tip of my nose. ¡°Nah, I¡¯m gonna smoke that clown.¡±


    He got up from the bed and I followed him, wrapping the sheet under my arms. ¡°You don¡¯t have to get up. I can let myself out.¡± He kissed my forehead. ¡°Go back to bed and sleep a little longer. It was a long night.¡±


    That was the understatement of the year. ¡°Okay, but call me later.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t dream of not calling you, Love.¡±


    I watched him walk out the door and when I was sure he was gone, I fell back onto my bed. Love? Was it possible for him to love me so soon? I might not think so except I had the same feelings. I loved him. I knew it deep down in my bones. I loved Nick Hawke, even if the world thought I was crazy.


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    37 hours and 20 minutes. That was approximately how long it had been since I saw Nick and it was too long. I didn¡¯t like being apart from him and talking on the phone wasn¡¯t enough. I needed to see him and touch him and I wouldn¡¯t be happy until that happened.


    I wondered if he was as restless as me. He didn¡¯t sound like he was when we talked on the phone and that worried me. Had he grown tired of me already?


    Any worries or questions I allowed to creep into my head vanished the moment I saw him coming out of the door to his house. He was as anxious to see me as I was to see him.


    He caught me around the waist and lifted me up for a tight hug. ¡°Mmm. I have missed you.¡±


    I squeezed him as tightly as he did me. ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve missed you, too.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think tonight would ever get here.¡± He stepped away from me and looked me up and down. I was wearing one of my favorite casual dresses with a denim jacket and a pair of boots. ¡°You look beautiful. I may lose this race because I can¡¯t take my eyes off of you.¡±


    ¡°You better not. How much do you have on it?¡±


    He lifted his brows at me. ¡°I¡¯ve got a ¡®G¡¯ on it, my biggest bet yet.¡±


    $1,000? That had to be a lot of money for him. ¡°Should you really be betting that much? What if you lost?¡±


    He grabbed his chest. ¡°Oh, you¡¯ve wounded me and my pride. Don¡¯t worry, Love. I never lose.¡±


    There it was again. That word, Love. ¡°I hope not because my money is on the Camaro.¡±


    ¡°So, you¡¯re bettin¡¯ on the car without consideration for the driver? Tsk. Tsk. Haven¡¯t I taught you anything?¡±


    I felt like being a little saucy so I slipped my arms around his waist and pulled him close. ¡°You¡¯ve taught me plenty.¡±


    He put his face into my neck and rubbed his scruffy face against me. ¡°I hope to teach you more real soon.¡±


    I had given this thought and I was clueless. Where would we go for our alone time? ¡°You know we¡¯re spoiled, right? We had my house all to ourselves and now we have to find another place to be alone.¡±


    ¡°Never fear. I¡¯ll come up with something.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t doubt you for a minute.¡±


    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go.¡±


    I looked down at my watch. ¡°It¡¯s almost an hour before the race starts. Do you normally go this early?¡±


    ¡°No, but I can¡¯t help it. I want to go early so I can show off my girlfriend. My buddies are gonna jizz in their pants when they see how hot you are.¡±


    Maybe I should have been offended by that, but I wasn¡¯t. I was flattered. ¡°Well, by all means, let¡¯s get down there so the jizzing may begin.¡±


    He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close as we walked to his car. ¡°You have to be the coolest girlfriend ever. Most chicks would be all like, ¡®Ewe, that¡¯s gross. Don¡¯t say stuff like that.¡¯¡±


    ¡°Your first impression of me wasn¡¯t all that accurate and you¡¯re gonna have to figure out at some point that I¡¯m not this delicate little flower you pegged me for. There¡¯s nothing delicate about me.¡±


    We got to ¡®The Strip¡¯ almost an hour before the race and people were already lining up and hangin¡¯ out on the side of the road. Nick parked his Camaro on the starting lineup and told me to stay in so he could open my door for me. He wanted everyone there to know I was his.


    I got out and could almost tangibly feel the staring eyes on me. It was awkward and I wondered how many of the girls looking me over were one of the unidentifiable numbers. I had to get over that. I couldn¡¯t look at every girl around and constantly have that on my mind because it would drive me crazy. Nick and I were together. He brought me here because he wanted everyone to know we were a couple. It was that simple.


    He held my hand possessively as he introduced me to so many people I couldn¡¯t remember any of their names. Some of the guys didn¡¯t say a word when he introduced me and I laughed to myself as I wondered if that was a jizz moment I was witnessing.


    It was getting closer to race time and Nick¡¯s opponent pulled up and parked next to his Camaro at the starting line. He stepped out of a corvette very similar to my Dad¡¯s and I cringed a little because I knew how fast that car would go.


    Nick must have seen the worry on my face. ¡°Doll Face. It¡¯s gonna be all right. I¡¯m gonna beat him. Remember, it¡¯s not just the car. It¡¯s the driver, too.¡±


    I tried to look confident, but I wasn¡¯t sure I pulled it off very well. ¡°I know.¡±


    Man, I just wanted this to be over. It made me too nervous.


    Jake called out the three minute warning and I knew it was time for Nick¡¯s good luck kiss. He pulled me into his arms. ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about this for a day and a half.¡±


    I put my arms up around his shoulders. ¡°A good luck kiss is a lot of pressure to put on a girl.¡±


    ¡°I have complete faith in you. And your lips.¡±


    He hooked one arm around the back of my neck and supported my lower back with the other. He started kissing me and dipped me backwards like the famous photograph of the soldier kissing the nurse on Times Square.


    I heard a lot of whistling, clapping and hollering as he kissed me, but I didn¡¯t care. It was one of the most romantic things I¡¯d ever experienced.


    He helped me to stand upright again and steadied me on my feet. ¡°All the way to my toes, just like you promised.¡±


    My heart was pounding and I felt lightheaded. ¡°I still feel a tingle.¡±


    ¡°Hold on to that tingle and we¡¯ll pick up where we left off when I¡¯m done smokin¡¯ this clown.


    ¡°Deal.¡±


    He was in his car and I blew him a kiss as I walked to the finish line where the others were. I found a spot right on the line up front and wrung my hands as I waited impatiently to see him cross the red spray painted line first.


    ¡°He¡¯s using you. You know that, right?¡±


    I turned around and saw the whore that tried to hump him the night we met. ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°Nick¡¯s using you for sex.¡±


    I had to laugh out loud about that one. I could argue that I¡¯d have to be having sex with him in order to be used for it, but I wasn¡¯t going there with her because it was none of her business. ¡°Now would be the perfect time for you to become a missing person so run along and get lost.¡±


    ¡°Does Nick know what a bitch you are?¡±


    She said I was a bitch like it was a bad thing. This chick didn¡¯t want to pick a fight with me because it was a battle she wouldn¡¯t win. I was a sarcastic genius. ¡°He sure does and he loves the things my smart ass mouth can do to him.¡±


    ¡°Well, let me leave you with this thought. When he gets you in his backseat to screw you, just remember he had me there first.¡±


    ¡°Thanks for the tip. I¡¯ll be sure to wipe the backseat down with bleach before I get naked.¡± I wanted to puke, but I wouldn¡¯t let her see the way she had shaken me so I put on my poker face and prepared for my next best comeback. ¡°Look, this bitch doesn¡¯t want to be one of your 99 problems, so can you please cage the rage before I have to activate the Bat Shit Signal?¡±

 Page 27

    ¡°Don¡¯t get smart with me.¡±Advertisement


    I used my best condescending voice and believe me, it was an awesome one. ¡°Darlin,¡¯ if I got smart with you, how would you know?¡±


    ¡°You, smart ass bitch.¡±


    ¡°Nicely played.¡± My words oozed with sarcasm as I under dramatically clapped my hands. ¡°You¡¯ve just killed at least a minute of my time I¡¯ll never get back so run along because you¡¯ve delighted me long enough with your presence.¡±


    ¡°I hope he screws you over like he did me.¡±


    I looked at my watch. ¡°Hmm. Give us about 15, maybe 20 minutes and we should be gettin¡¯ right on that.¡±


    Sarcasm, insult, and mockery...my work here was done.


    I faked her out and she thought she wasn¡¯t getting to me, so she turned and stormed off. When I turned my attention back to the race, it was already over and I didn¡¯t even know who won.


    It looked like everyone was going out to congratulate Nick, so I guessed that was a good sign he had won. I hung back so his fans could talk to him, but I heard him calling for me over the crowd.


    ¡°Back here,¡± I called out from behind the crowd.


    He pushed his way through the crowd to get to me, just like the first night we met. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me for a quick spin. ¡°That one was for you, Love.¡±


    20 Surprise In An Elevator


    Nick


    Payton¡¯s parents being home sucked. She told me she needed to be careful where they were concerned, but I hadn¡¯t seen her since my race three days ago and 72 hours was too long for me to go without her. I needed to feel her in my arms, but tonight I would have her all to myself because I had something special planned after the banquet.


    I stood in front of the mirror to my dresser and straightened my tie for the dozenth time as I thought about the fight Dad and I had about me asking Payton to come to the banquet. He was no less prejudice than her parents and I didn¡¯t understand why he was so opposed to us being together.


    There was a soft knock on my bedroom door and I knew it was Dallas because Jake always entered unannounced. ¡°You can come in.¡±


    Dallas opened the door and peeked in at me. ¡°Need help with your tie?¡±


    ¡°I do. It won¡¯t stay straight. It keeps slipping or something.¡±


    She came to stand in front of me and she untied it completely so she could start from scratch. ¡°I heard you and Dad arguing about Payton.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with him? He acts like she¡¯s the devil incarnate, but she¡¯s not. She¡¯s awesome.¡±


    She made the first loop on my tie. ¡°I know. I really like her and I think you two are great for each other. She grounds you.¡±


    She made the next loop and pulled it through to make the perfect knot. ¡°I love her, Dallas. I know it¡¯s crazy and it¡¯s so soon, but I do.¡±


    She finished my tie and patted my chest as if to say, ¡®all done.¡¯ ¡°Have you told her?¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯ve told her that I was falling for her, but I haven¡¯t said ¡®I love you.¡¯ I have something special planned for us after the banquet and I¡¯ve decided I¡¯m telling her tonight.¡±


    ¡°She loves you, too. I¡¯m certain of it. Even Dane says he¡¯s never seen her so crazy over a guy before, not even that Cooper guy she dated for a while.¡±


    Just thinking about saying those three words to her made me want to throw up, but in a good way. ¡°I sure hope so because I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do if she told me she didn¡¯t love me.¡±


    ¡°Remember what Ginny says about love...have no regrets.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡¯m not worried about it. So, tell me how things are going between you and Dane.¡±


    ¡°Everything¡¯s great. I like him a lot and he¡¯s good to me.¡±


    I never expected anything less from him. He seemed like a real standup kind of guy. ¡°He better treat you right if he knows what¡¯s good for him. I¡¯ve got a can of whoop ass with his name on it if he doesn¡¯t.¡±


    Jake appeared at my bedroom door. ¡°Miss Fancy Pants is in the living room waiting on you.¡±


    Thanks a lot, Jake. Could you say that a little louder? I don¡¯t think the neighbors at the end of the street heard. ¡°Don¡¯t call her that, especially loud enough for her to hear you.¡±


    He thought he was being funny when he lowered his voice to a feminine whisper. ¡°Okay, Miss Hot Piece of Ass is in the living room waiting on you. Wuss.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t even say a word. He has every right to be like that with you after the way you¡¯ve ragged him about Gabbi.¡±


    ¡°I guess you¡¯re right.¡±


    ¡°Good luck with whatever you have planned for Payton tonight.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, Sis.¡±


    I walked into the living room and Payton was standing with her back turned to me looking at my school pictures on the wall. ¡°Cute little bugger, wasn¡¯t I?¡±


    She turned around and her beauty almost took my breath away. Her hair was swept up with a cream flower and there were loose curls hanging around her face. She was wearing a strapless, cream colored lace cocktail dress with a wide black tie around her waist. Her tanned legs were bare and their length accented by the tallest heels I¡¯d seen her in to date, making her almost as tall as me.


    ¡°You just keep surprising me. I didn¡¯t think you could be any more beautiful, but then you go and prove me wrong again.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. You look very handsome in your suit and tie.¡±


    ¡°I guess I clean up all right.¡± I walked over to her and put my hands on her waist. ¡°You¡¯re not gonna let me mess up your lip gloss, are you?¡±


    ¡°Nope. Not right now, but I¡¯d be terribly disappointed if you didn¡¯t later tonight.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I have plans for a lot of things tonight. Let me grab my keys and we¡¯ll get going.¡±


    ¡°We can go in my car tonight if you want. That is if it won¡¯t mess up any of those plans you¡¯ve made.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± She held up the keys to her Lexus and dangled them in front of me. ¡°Here, you¡¯re driving.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    We passed the car off to the valet and then walked through the hotel lobby to the banquet hall where we found a large room lined with tables covered with black table cloths and big fresh flower center pieces.


    Payton looped her hand through my arm as I escorted her across the room to the table where I saw my family sitting. My dad looked up and saw her on my arm and was none too happy, but I didn¡¯t care. He wasn¡¯t the one I wanted to please.


    I gave him a look that begged him to not be rude. ¡°Dad, you remember Payton?¡±


    ¡°I do. Good to see you again, Payton.¡± I breathed a sigh of relief.


    ¡°And it¡¯s good to see you again as well, Mr. Hawke. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your big night and congratulations on the award you¡¯ll be receiving tonight.¡±


    An announcer interrupted whatever my dad was about to say to Payton by tapping the mic and announcing that the awards ceremony was about to begin and would be followed by a meal and live music.


    Payton¡¯s eyes lit up. ¡°I love live bands. Will you dance with me?¡±


    ¡°Of course. I wouldn¡¯t miss dancing with you for the world.¡±


    We finished the award ceremony and dinner within an hour and the band got started immediately. It was a slow song and I offered my hand to Payton. ¡°May I have this dance?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you may.¡±


    The band was playing their version of ¡®Faithfully¡¯ and it was actually pretty good. There were only a few other couples on the floor, but we could have been the only ones and I wouldn¡¯t have cared. Having her in my arms felt so good, so right.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s this surprise you have for me? Are you gonna teach me to shoot a shotgun?¡±


    ¡°No. Tonight¡¯s plan doesn¡¯t include guns.¡±


    ¡°You know, teaching me to shoot a pistol might not have been the smartest move on your part. If I ever caught you cheating on me, you¡¯d stand a far better chance of surviving if I didn¡¯t know how.¡±


    ¡°Baby, I¡¯m not worried. I¡¯m just like this song says. I¡¯m forever yours. Faithfully.¡±


    She was amused. ¡°You can be nauseatingly sweet sometimes, did you know that?¡±


    ¡°I try.¡±


    ¡°You know you changed the subject on me.¡±


    ¡°Did I?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you did. Are you gonna tell me what the surprise is?¡±


    I was nervous, but I had to tell her at some point so now was as good a time as any. ¡°Promise me you won¡¯t freak out because this doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m asking for or expecting more. This is only about us having some alone time.¡±


    ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about, but I promise I¡¯m not going to freak out on you.¡±


    I took the keycard for a hotel room out of my pocket and held it up for her to see. ¡°I got us a room in this hotel. If you need to think about it or if you don¡¯t want to go up with me, I completely understand.¡±


    ¡°Nick, I don¡¯t have to think about it at all. I want to.¡±


    We stopped dancing and she stroked her fingertips over my lips. ¡°Like now.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s tell everyone we¡¯re leaving and then we¡¯ll go up.¡±


    After we told everyone goodnight, we were standing alone in the elevator as it rose to our floor. Being so close to Payton, I couldn¡¯t resist the urge to touch her, so I stroked the back of my fingers down her bare arm and watched the chill bumps rise on her skin.


    ¡°Oh, Nick. I forgot my purse on the table. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°No big deal. It won¡¯t take but a minute to go back down to get it.¡±


    I reached over and pressed the button for the ground floor and we made a stop at the third floor on the way down so Payton and I moved to the side to allow the couple onto the elevator. The petite blond woman and tall dark haired man were laughing when the doors opened and they immediately went solemn when they saw Payton.

 Page 28

    The silence was thick as they stared at each other and then the doors closed without them getting on or saying a word. ¡°What was that all about?¡±Advertisement


    Payton looked pale. ¡°That was my mother but that wasn¡¯t my father. It was his business partner.¡±


    Oh, shit. Not good. Not good at all. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say. Are you all right?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t think my brain has had time to process what I just saw.¡±


    I tried to think of anything to better the situation. ¡°Maybe you shouldn¡¯t jump to conclusions.¡±


    ¡°What other conclusion could I jump to? She¡¯s supposed to be at one of her Women¡¯s Auxiliary meetings and I¡¯m pretty sure they don¡¯t hold those one on one in hotel rooms with men.¡±


    Payton¡¯s mom was definitely gettin¡¯ it on with her dad¡¯s partner. ¡°Do you need to go home?¡±


    ¡°I think I have to. I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m screwing up our night.¡±


    I put my arm around her and pulled her close. ¡°Baby, it¡¯s okay. You¡¯re not screwing up anything, but I don¡¯t think you¡¯re in any kind of condition to drive. I¡¯m taking you home and I¡¯ll get Jake and Gabbi to follow us and pick me up at your house.¡±


    She waited by the entrance while I got her purse and made arrangements with Jake. When we started driving toward her house, I had no idea if she wanted to talk or not, so I left that ball in her court. If she wanted to talk we would. If she didn¡¯t, that was fine, too.


    We were almost to her house when she finally decided she wanted to talk about what happened. ¡°She¡¯s gonna try to turn this on me.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? Her affair with your dad¡¯s business partner has nothing to do with you.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know how she is. She¡¯s gonna try to deflect from what she was doing onto me being in a hotel with you.¡±


    I pulled into the driveway and Jake parked on the street to wait for me. ¡°Do you want me to go in with you?¡±


    ¡°No. That would only make things worse, but I truly appreciate it. This is something I have to handle on my own.¡±


    She leaned over and gave me a light kiss. ¡°I¡¯ll call you tomorrow and let you know how things went.¡±


    ¡°No, I can¡¯t wait until tomorrow. Promise me you will call me tonight or I¡¯ll be worried sick.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll call you as soon as I can.¡±


    She gave me another kiss and then hesitated like she wanted to say something. I wanted to take the opportunity to tell her I loved her, but the timing was all wrong. It would have to wait until another time.


    21 Refuge


    Payton


    My mother beat me home and was waiting in the living room when I walked through the door. ¡°Your father¡¯s in bed and you will keep your voice down.¡±


    I sat on the couch across from her and waited to see which approach she would take to turning all of this away from herself and she didn¡¯t disappoint me. ¡°Who was that boy you were with?¡±


    ¡°His name is Nick Hawke.¡±


    ¡°What were you doing with him in that hotel?¡±


    ¡°Nick¡¯s father was being honored at a banquet and we went to see him accept his award.¡±


    Her voice dripped with sarcasm. ¡°And his father was receiving his award in a hotel room instead of the banquet hall?¡±


    If she wanted to call me out, I could do the same. ¡°No, Mother, I was going up to that room with Nick to do the same thing you were doing with David.¡±


    ¡°You have no idea what I was doing at that hotel.¡±


    ¡°Regardless of what you may think, I¡¯m not stupid.¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t about me or what I was doing because I¡¯m the adult here. I want to know everything about that boy you were with.¡± There it was. Her deflection.


    ¡°I love him and that¡¯s all you need to know.¡±


    ¡°Why haven¡¯t I heard anything about him?


    It was pointless to lie. ¡°Because I knew you¡¯d never approve of him.¡±


    ¡°And why is that?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s from Collinsville. He doesn¡¯t come from money or influence. His dad is a cop and his mother abandoned his family when he was six.¡±


    ¡°From what you¡¯re describing, I would have, too.¡±


    ¡°Mother! How could you say something so cruel?¡±


    She ignored my question. ¡°This is the way this is going to be. You¡¯re never going to see that boy again and you¡¯re going to keep your mouth shut about seeing me and David in that hotel together. Got it?¡±


    My mother was being unreasonable just as I predicted so I stormed to my room to pack a bag so I could go to Tillie¡¯s. She had always been my refuge from my mother and I hoped tonight would no be different.


    I needed to talk to Nick. I dialed his number and put him on speaker phone as I drove the short distance to my aunt and uncle¡¯s house. He answered on the first ring without his normal greeting.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    No. I definitely wasn¡¯t okay. ¡°It didn¡¯t go well. She did exactly what I thought she would. She turned everything around on me and what I was doing in that hotel with you.¡±


    ¡°Do I need to come and get you?¡±


    I would love nothing more, but that wasn¡¯t going to help matters. ¡°No. I¡¯m on my way to Tillie¡¯s to stay the night.¡±


    ¡°What did you tell her about me?¡±


    I told her the truth, that I loved you. ¡°What could I tell her but the truth?¡±


    ¡°And what did she say?¡±


    ¡°She told me that I was never going to see you again.¡±


    He went silent. ¡°Are you still there, Nick?¡±


    ¡°Payton, that can¡¯t happen.¡±


    ¡°I know. I can hardly stand to go one day without seeing you. There¡¯s no way I¡¯d survive not seeing you at all.¡±


    ¡°What are you going to do? She could make things bad for you.¡±


    That was an understatement. ¡°I don¡¯t know. The only thing I¡¯m sure of is that I¡¯m not going to lose you because of her. I¡¯ll think of something; I always do.¡±


    I was desperate to make this work and I would resort to measures I wouldn¡¯t normally consider. Maybe Tillie could help sort out this mess. She had offered to talk to my mom about Nick. Maybe she could convince her to quit being such a hard ass.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m here and I want to talk to Tillie before she goes to bed.¡±


    ¡°I want you to call me first thing in the morning.¡±


    ¡°I will.¡±


    And there it was. The perfect moment to tell him that I loved him was hanging in the air, yet I couldn¡¯t do it. I didn¡¯t want my first time to tell him to be over the phone. I needed to see his face when I said those three words.


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll talk to you in the morning.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± I love you, Nick.


    I sat in my car for a minute just thinking about what would have happened if we hadn¡¯t run into my mother in the hotel. I think I would have given myself to him. Hell, who was I kidding? I know I would have. He had the room the rest of the night and I was tempted to call him back and tell him to meet me there, but that wasn¡¯t gonna fix the mess we were in and would likely only compound the problem.


    I saw Tillie standing on the front porch looking toward my car, so I got out before she came to check on me. She met me on the walkway and gave me the hug my mother should have given me when I told her I was in love.


    ¡°Oh, Pate. I¡¯m so sorry this happened to you.¡±


    ¡°I knew this was how she would react.¡±


    ¡°I thought you were going to keep your relationship with Nick a secret.¡±


    This is the part where things got tricky. Did I tell her the truth about how my mother knew or did I lie to protect her secret? She certainly didn¡¯t deserve the courtesy, but I decided to keep her secret for now to protect my Dad.


    ¡°We slipped up and she caught us together.¡± That wasn¡¯t a lie, but that didn¡¯t make me feel better because I knew I was telling her a half truth.


    ¡°And she forbade you to see Nick?¡±


    ¡°Just like I said she would. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m gonna do because I have no idea how far she¡¯s willing to go to keep us apart. If I continue to see him, she¡¯ll make my life a living hell.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have a talk with her. Maybe I can get her to change her mind.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t holding out hope and the impact of the night¡¯s events finally caught up with me as tears washed down my face like a breaking dam. My mom was cheating on my dad and I stood to lose the boy I was so desperately in love with. Could things get any worse for me?


    ¡°Go to bed and try not to worry. Everything will look different tomorrow.¡±


    Luckily, I had the good sense to throw my necessities into a bag before I jetted out of my house. I changed into the sleep clothes I packed and hung my cocktail dress on the closet door. I crawled into bed and looked at it hanging there before I turned the lamp off. That wasn¡¯t where my dress was supposed to be. It was supposed to be in a crumpled pile on the hotel room floor.


    I hoped sleep could claim me quickly so I could put the pain out of my mind, but I stayed awake crying most of the night. I didn¡¯t feel any more hopeful when I woke up the next morning. If anything, I was less hopeful. I reached for my phone to call Nick because I promised I would and because he would want an update on how things had gone with my aunt.


    ¡°Hey, Beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Hey.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m glad you called early. I don¡¯t think I slept an hour all night from worrying. How did things go after we talked?¡±


    ¡°Aunt Tillie is going to try to talk to her, but I¡¯m telling you now that she will never change her mind. That would mean admitting she was wrong and she doesn¡¯t do that.¡±


    ¡°I need to see you.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you come here? I¡¯m the only one home and I¡¯d like to see you before the clan gets back.¡±


    ¡°Okay. What¡¯s the address and I¡¯ll be right there.¡±

 Page 29

    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡ÖAdvertisement


    I couldn¡¯t wait for Nick to make it to the door. I needed to feel his arms around me, so I swung it open as he came up the steps and met him halfway. ¡°It feels so good, so safe to be in your arms. I wanted to pretend all of this was a terrible nightmare that didn¡¯t exist once I woke up.¡±


    He squeezed me tightly. ¡°I wish I could make it all go away for you.¡±


    I grabbed his face and kissed him as though he might disappear at any moment. If my mom had anything to do with it, he would.


    When I was finished kissing him, I grabbed his hand and led him toward the house. ¡°Come in so we can talk before Tillie and the kids get back.¡±


    We walked inside the house. ¡°Have you had breakfast yet?¡±


    ¡°No. I came straight here after you called.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s still some breakfast left. Do you want anything?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    I took him into the kitchen and he sat at the bar while I warmed leftovers from the breakfast Tillie had made for the kids. I put his plate in front of him and realized I probably should have told him what it was first. Everyone might not like dessert for breakfast. ¡°Chocolate gravy and biscuits. Can you believe that? My mom would die before she would serve this in our house. She¡¯d be afraid one of us might gain a pound.¡±


    His expression was bittersweet. ¡°My mom used to cook this for us. I haven¡¯t had this since I was a little kid.¡± He took his first bite and shook his head. ¡°Tastes just the way I remember it.¡±


    I was afraid the reminder of his mother¡¯s cooking might upset him, but it didn¡¯t. It was a pleasant recollection for him and I found myself wanting to make a new memory for him...one of me cooking this meal for him. ¡°Since Ginny taught me how to make biscuits, I could ask Tillie to show me how to make the chocolate gravy and I could cook this for you sometime.¡±


    He reached out and put his hand on top of mine. He squeezed it gently as he gave me that beautiful grin that showed his dimples. ¡°I would like that very much.¡±


    I avoided the issue at hand while he finished his plate. I wanted him to enjoy it without feeling the nauseatingly nervous feeling I got every time I thought about how we were gonna handle this situation with my mother.


    When he finished his plate, he sat back in his chair and looked at me solemnly as he sighed. ¡°Baby, what are we gonna do?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I¡¯m hoping Tillie will come back with good news but I¡¯m not holding my breath. This is Vivian Archer we¡¯re dealing with here.¡±


    ¡°Is there a way to win? You either give in to your mother¡¯s demands and never see me again or go against her and suffer the consequences? And what would her consequences be? Would she cut you off?¡±


    ¡°I have no doubt she would.¡±


    ¡°How could I ask that of you?¡±


    How could you not if you loved me? ¡°I didn¡¯t know it until last night, but I would go up against the world for you.¡±


    ¡°This is nuts. You shouldn¡¯t be forced to choose between me or your family. It¡¯s not right.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not, but welcome to the world of money, privilege and influence. Those who don¡¯t have it think it¡¯s what they want and need, but money is ugly.¡±


    I heard Claire¡¯s ringtone as my phone vibrated on the kitchen counter. ¡°It¡¯s Claire. I¡¯m sure she¡¯s calling to see how last night went. She doesn¡¯t know anything about what happened with my mom. Do you mind if I take this?¡±


    ¡°Go ahead and I¡¯ll clear these dishes.¡±


    As I explained everything that happened after the banquet, I paced the floor because it was what I did when I was upset. I had almost explained the entire night¡¯s events when I looked up and saw Nick staring at the photographs on the refrigerator.


    He turned to look at me and held up a photo he had taken off the freezer door. ¡°Who is this?¡±


    I knew something was terribly wrong when I saw his face. ¡°Claire, I need to call you back.¡±


    I walked over to him and looked at the photo I walked by every time I was in Tillie¡¯s kitchen. I pointed to each person in the photo. ¡°That¡¯s my Aunt Tillie, Uncle Brigham and their kids Tristan and Tara.¡±


    He looked so pale. ¡°She may be Tillie to you, but my dad always called her Mattie.¡±


    What? ¡°I don¡¯t understand. How does your dad know Tillie?¡±


    ¡°Her name is Matilda and she¡¯s my mother.¡±


    ¡°That can¡¯t be right.¡±


    ¡°Do you think I could mistake my own mother? I might have been young when she left, but I couldn¡¯t forget her face. This is Matilda Hawke, or she used to be. I guess she¡¯s Matilda Archer now.¡±


    He sighed heavily. ¡°Shit, it all makes sense now why my dad didn¡¯t want me to date you. He knew I would figure it out.¡±


    Dutch didn¡¯t want Nick to date me? That was news to me.


    The door leading from the garage flew open and Tristan and Tara came flying through the kitchen and both ran over to hug me around the waist. ¡°Hey, Pate. Who¡¯s your friend?¡±


    ¡°This is Nick.¡±


    ¡°Hey, Nick. Are y''all staying to swim with us today?¡±


    I looked up at Nick and saw the realization on his face. He was looking at his brother and sister for the first time. ¡°No, we can¡¯t today, Sweet Pea. We have some things to take care of. Maybe another time.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Unaffected by our decline, they took off upstairs to their bedrooms and I was glad because I had no idea what was about to go down.


    Tillie came through the door carrying a couple of sacks of groceries and went straight to the counter without looking in our direction. She started putting the refrigerated products away and then caught sight of us and was startled.


    She looked at me and then at Nick and I knew by the look on her face that everything he said was true. She was his mother.


    She staggered back a step or two, taken surprise by the son she had abandoned so many years ago. ¡°Nickolas.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s Nick now.¡±


    She cupped her nose and mouth with both of her hands and didn¡¯t say anything.


    Nick stared at her, taking her in and studying her. ¡°All this time I thought you were a million miles away and you were only one town over. You were a twenty minute drive from us and nothing. Not one visit. Not a single call. You just left while we were in school. We got up that morning with a mother and came home without one.¡±


    She stared blankly at Nick.


    ¡°How could you leave like that and never contact us again?¡±


    He stared at her waiting for her answer. I thought of that six year-old boy that felt like no one could love him if his own mother hadn¡¯t and I became angry. My anger quickly escalated to fury as I thought about the way her choices had damaged this man I loved and I didn¡¯t recognize the voice coming from within me. ¡°Tell him! An explanation is the very least you owe him.¡±


    ¡°I met Brigham and we fell in love, but he told me the only way we could be together was if I left all of you behind. He didn¡¯t want kids that weren¡¯t his.¡±


    She reached out to him and he recoiled from her touch. ¡°You got your happily ever after. I hope it was worth it.¡±


    He spun around to leave and she called out after him. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Nickolas, but I swear there¡¯s not been one day I didn¡¯t regret leaving you and Jacob and Dallas.¡±


    The lack of Dutch¡¯s name didn¡¯t go unnoticed. ¡°I¡¯m out of here. Have a nice life, Mother.¡±


    ¡°Wait. I¡¯m coming with you.¡± I ran to grab my stuff and then I ran out the door to catch him.


    He stopped and turned to grab my arms as his fingers gripped me tightly. ¡°Payton, I¡¯m not in a good place right now.¡±


    I grimaced from the pain and he immediately loosened his hold and put his arms around me. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Baby. Did I hurt you?¡±


    He did, but I¡¯d never tell him that. ¡°No, you didn¡¯t hurt me.¡± He pulled me into his world and squeezed me tightly.


    I needed him to know I was on his side. ¡°You¡¯re not leaving without me.¡±


    ¡°I have to go see my dad. Alone. I have to know if he knew.¡±


    ¡°I understand that you need to do that without me. When¡¯s check out time on the room you booked last night?¡±


    ¡°I think Noon.¡±


    We left in such haste that I know he didn¡¯t check out. ¡°Do you still have the keycard to the hotel room?¡±


    He reached for his wallet and opened it. He slid the card out and I stroked his hand as I took it. ¡°Meet me there after you finish talking to your dad. And stop by the front desk to add on an extra night.¡±


    22 Room 329


    Nick


    I wasn¡¯t looking forward to this at all. I wanted to turn my car around and go to Payton in our hotel room, but I didn¡¯t have a choice. I had to confront my dad about the things he knew about our mom, but kept from us.


    His patrol car was in the drive when I got home. It was his day off, but I knew he wouldn¡¯t be back from his morning run for at least another 30 minutes. Maybe longer if he was doing long distance today.


    I was sitting on the couch when he came through the door and he was clearly surprised to see me. ¡°I thought you left.¡±


    ¡°I did, but I came back because I need to talk to you about something serious.¡±


    He wiped the sweat from his face with the towel around his neck. ¡°Okay. Shoot.¡±


    That was one of the perks of having Dutch Hawke for a dad. He was a straight shooter and taught me to not beat around the bush. ¡°I¡¯ve been at Matilda Archer¡¯s house this morning. Did you know our mother lived in Franklin?¡±


    He sighed and sat in the recliner across from me. ¡°I knew.¡±


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell us?¡±


    ¡°She was having an affair. He wanted her but he didn¡¯t want you. He made her choose between him or her kids and she chose him. How was I supposed to look you in the face and tell you that?¡±


    ¡°We deserved to know.¡±

 Page 30

    ¡°You were too young to understand.¡±


    ¡°Hell, I¡¯m almost nineteen and I can¡¯t understand it now, but I still deserved to know. You have no idea how I felt when I realized I was standing there looking at my mother. She has other kids. We have a brother and sister we didn¡¯t even know existed.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°I did it to protect you.¡±


    ¡°And you knew Payton was the link to exposing the truth. That¡¯s why you didn¡¯t want us to be together, but it¡¯s all out in the open now. You don¡¯t have a reason to not want us to be together unless there¡¯s something else you¡¯re not telling us?¡±


    ¡°I never had anything against Payton personally. She¡¯s a very lovely girl, but I knew your being with her would come to this. I was scared for you. I didn¡¯t know how you would handle it because you were always the one that took it the hardest. It did something to you when Mattie left and I¡¯ve never known how to fix it.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay, but I don¡¯t think I would be if Payton wasn¡¯t in my life. It¡¯s weird how her presence in my life brought all this to the surface and yet she¡¯s the only one that could bring me out of this dark world I fell into. I love her, Dad, and she¡¯s the rock that will help me get through this.¡±


    ¡°Are are you going to tell Jake and Dallas about your mom?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. At first, I was angry with you for not telling us, but I understand why you didn¡¯t. No child needs to hear that his mom left because she chose to be with her lover, but we¡¯re not little kids anymore. Jake would be fine, but Dallas is so tender hearted. I don¡¯t know how she would react so I need to think about it. She has the right to know, but I¡¯m not sure I can do it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll do it. You¡¯re not the parent here and the responsibility shouldn¡¯t fall onto your shoulders. You¡¯ve carried too much on them for too many years already.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    I tapped lightly on the door to room 329 and waited for Payton to answer. She opened the door and was wearing a plush, velour robe with the hotel emblem embroidered on the pocket. Her hair was slightly damp and hung in loose curls with the sides pulled away from her face. I immediately recognized her signature smell hanging in the air and I knew she had showered while she waited for me.


    I stood in the doorway looking at her, realizing I was afraid to take a step inside without her invitation. She stepped back to make room for me in the doorway and I recognized it for what it was-her unspoken invitation to join her in our room.


    My heart leapt with excitement of the unknown. I wasn¡¯t sure what being alone with her in this room all day and night might bring, but I was content with just being with her if that¡¯s what she wanted.


    I walked into the room and she shut the door behind me. I hadn¡¯t had time to come up to the room when I booked it the night before, so I looked around for the first time and took it all in, including the king size bed.


    She came up from behind and hugged me with her head against my back. I reached for one of her hands on my chest and grasped it so I could bring it to my lips for a kiss.


    She squeezed me tightly and sighed as if having me in her arms was a relief. ¡°I¡¯ve been worried about you. I know it has only been a couple of hours, but it seems like I¡¯ve been in this room waiting on you forever.¡±


    She let go of me and I took her hand as we moved to the bed to sit on the edge. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I had to wait on my dad to get home from his run.¡±


    She looked so nervous. ¡°Did it go all right?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°It went as well as it could considering the topic. He knew where she was all these years and I was pissed at first, but then he explained some things and I understand why he didn¡¯t tell us when we were smaller. I still think he should have when we were older, but I see how it was easier for him to let sleeping dogs lie.¡±


    ¡°And you can¡¯t forget that he was in pain as well. She was his wife and she left him, too.¡±


    ¡°It had to be terrible for him, but I don¡¯t remember any kind of reaction out of him. He¡¯s was there, but he wasn¡¯t. It was almost like losing both of them.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand how she did that. She¡¯s always been so loving toward me, more so than my own mother. I¡¯ve often thought of her as more of a mother to me.¡±


    ¡°Ironic, huh? She wouldn¡¯t stay to be a mother to her own children, but she chose to mother you when you needed one.¡± I put my arm around her and pulled her close. ¡°I guess I can¡¯t hate her too much since she took care of my girl.¡±


    ¡°Your girl? I like that.¡±


    ¡°I like it, too.¡±


    I kissed the top of her head and she tilted her face up to look at me. I couldn''t resist putting my lips against hers, but our position wasn¡¯t right. It felt awkward and uncomfortable.


    She must have had the same thought because she slid off the edge of the bed and came to stand between my knees. She put her hands on my face as she looked in my eyes. ¡°I want to take away all of your pain and show you how worthy you are of being loved.¡± She reached for the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it over my head. She tossed it over her shoulder to the floor and then ran her finger over the words inked across my skin. ¡°This doesn¡¯t have to be true.¡±


    I put my hand on top of hers over my heart. ¡°This was the only truth I¡¯d ever known until I met you. My dad told me I didn¡¯t know the power you had over me, but he was wrong. I know you have the power to heal this and make me whole again.¡±


    ¡°I want to start right now.¡± She untied the knot of the belt holding the hotel robe around her and allowed it to slide down her arms to a puddle on the floor. Beneath it, she was wearing a short, cream nightgown with layers of black lace ruffles. It was sexy, yet somehow innocent, and no one had ever worn anything like it for me.


    I put my finger under one of the slim straps and ran it up to her shoulder and back down again. ¡°When did you get this little number?¡±


    ¡°I swung by to get it on my way here. Do you like it?¡±


    ¡°Hell, yeah! I freakin¡¯ love it.¡±


    ¡°Good. I was hoping you would. I sort of had you in mind when I bought it.¡±


    I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer between my legs. ¡°I better be the only somebody you had on your mind when you bought it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re the only somebody ever on my mind.¡±


    ¡°Ditto.¡±


    She pushed me backwards on the bed and took off my socks and shoes before she crawled up my body and straddled me. I put my hands on her waist and guided her to the spot where I needed to feel the pressure of her body against my groin. She put her palms flat on my chest and slowly slid them up until she reached my shoulders. On the way back down, she used her perfectly manicured nails to scratch my skin with just enough pressure to make me groan.


    When she finished raking her nails down my chest, she surprised me by reaching for the button on my jeans. ¡°Someone is very frisky today.¡±


    ¡°You have no idea.¡±


    She never took her eyes from mine as she popped the button on my jeans loose and then slid my zipper down. She dipped her fingers into my waistband and pulled downward, so I lifted my hips and she had me out of my jeans, leaving me down to my black and white boxer briefs.


    She dropped her mouth to my chest and pressed her body against me as she slid down to kiss my ink. She didn¡¯t linger there long before she moved lower to just above my waistband. It was one of the teasers I had performed on her and to have her do it to me in return was sweet torture.


    She was driving me insane and I couldn¡¯t stand the teasing any longer. If I couldn¡¯t be inside her, I needed to at least be on top of her. I grabbed her waist and flipped her onto her back so I could press my body against hers in hopes of a little relief.


    She bent her knees and they fell apart to kindly accommodate me. I propped on my elbows and held her face in my palms so I could memorize it. It was foolish to think her mother might not keep us apart, so I had to be honest with myself about where we were going and the truth was...I had no idea.


    Her honey colored eyes stared up at my chocolate ones and she saw the uncertainty in them. ¡°It¡¯s gonna work out. It has to.¡±


    I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to hers. ¡°I can¡¯t lose you, Doll Face.¡±


    Things suddenly felt too serious and I needed to lighten the mood. I lifted my head from hers and pulled on her bottom lip with my mouth. ¡°I couldn¡¯t stand to never be shocked by this delicate mouth again. Come on, shock me. I¡¯m dying to hear some new material.¡±


    She reached up and put her palms on my face. ¡°I love you.¡±


    Of all the things I had imagined happening between us, I had highly underestimated the way I would feel hearing her tell me she loved me for the first time. My heart felt like it was swelling and about to burst with the love I had for her.


    ¡°I love you, too, Payton Archer.¡± I rubbed my thumb over her lips. ¡°I think I did the moment you opened this smart ass mouth of yours.¡±


    ¡°Shut up and kiss this smart ass mouth.¡±


    I did as I was told and then I trailed my mouth down her throat to her breasts. I reached under her sexy gown to see what kind of surprise I could find underneath. I got up on my knees and lifted her gown to find matching lace panties. Damn, they looked so hot on her.


    I hooked my fingers in the sides and tugged a little, testing her to see if was okay to take them off. ¡°Business as usual, ma''am? Everything with the exception of the deed itself?¡±


    She shook her head at me. ¡°No, not this time. I want everything plus the deed itself.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure? I don¡¯t want you to look back on this and regret it.¡±


    ¡°I love you and I could never regret you making love to me. Not in a million years.¡± She lifted her hips off the bed, my cue to slip her panties down and this thing I had done so many times suddenly felt like something I had never done before.


    I tossed them to the floor next to my clothes and she hooked her thumbs in the elastic waistband of my boxer briefs and pushed down. She caught my underwear with her toes once they were below my hips and pushed them down to the foot of the bed under the sheets.

 Page 31

    I felt myself touch her sweetest part and I knew I was in danger of coming apart at the seams as she positioned herself with her knees to either side of my hips. Damn. The condoms were in my jeans pocket. Rookie mistake.Advertisement


    I pulled away to reach for my pants in the floor, but she locked her legs around my waist. ¡°I¡¯m just getting a condom from my pants.¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t need that. I¡¯ve been on the pill for a while.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if that¡¯s a good idea.¡±


    She could see the storm within me. ¡°You told me you¡¯d never been with anyone without protection.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯ve never been with anyone, so we¡¯re good.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    She squeezed me against her using her legs. ¡°I want to feel you inside me with nothing between us.¡±


    There was nothing I wouldn¡¯t do for this girl and I felt myself giving in to what she wanted, which wasn¡¯t terribly difficult to do. I hovered over her and kissed her face as I stroked her cheek with my fingers. ¡°I swear I¡¯ll be gentle.¡±


    She reached for my face with her hands. ¡°I know you will.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s gonna hurt a little at first until I push all the way through, but then it should get better.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡±


    I don¡¯t think it was possible to love this girl more. ¡°I love you, Payton, and I need you to know something. I may have given my body to a lot of girls, but none of them have ever possessed my heart. It belongs to you and no other.


    She smiled and it melted the heart that belonged only to her. ¡°And mine belongs to you and no other.¡±


    I gently pressed myself against her without pushing inside and she shut her eyes tightly like she was waiting for a painful assault. ¡°Look at me.¡±


    She opened her eyes and I could see the fear she was so bravely trying to hide from me. ¡°Don¡¯t stop looking in my eyes.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    I slowly pushed myself inside this girl I adored and was shocked by how wonderfully different she felt. I heard you couldn¡¯t always feel the barrier that had to tear, but I undeniably felt Payton¡¯s and knew I was about to hurt her because I was in a place where no man had ever been before me.


    I watched her eyes as I pushed through and saw the shock and pain the second it happened so I stopped so she could recover from it. She tensed and slammed her eyes shut. She bit her bottom lip and roughly dug her nails into my back, which served me right for what I was doing to her.


    After a minute, her pain subsided and I felt her relax beneath me but I waited. I wanted her to ask me for more. And that¡¯s exactly what she did.


    23 We Happened


    Payton


    Shit, that hurt.


    I opened my eyes and looked at Nick hovering over me. He was still inside me, but completely motionless and I knew he had stopped because he didn¡¯t want to hurt me more than necessary.


    I realized how tense I was so I took a breath and slowly blew it out as I forced my body to relax. I took several more deep breaths and then I felt something entirely different. It wasn¡¯t pain at all. It was a building desire low in my groin and I was desperate to have the full experience of the deed itself.


    It felt like someone else was in control of my body as I started to lift my hips against Nick. ¡°Don¡¯t stop. Keep going.¡±


    He happily complied with my command. ¡°Tell me what you want and I¡¯ll give it to you.¡±


    I reached for his hair and grabbed two fistfuls. ¡°You. All of you. Right now.¡±


    I just thought I had screamed his name before.


    I was still waiting for my heart to slow down and to catch my breath when Nick rolled off of me. I turned on my side so I could face him and saw a thin sheen of sweat across his brow. It was hotter than hell knowing he had worked that sweat up on me.


    He looked at me, assessing my eyes and breathlessly asked, ¡°Are you okay? I didn¡¯t hurt you too bad?¡±


    ¡°It only hurt for a minute and then it felt really good.¡± I couldn¡¯t contain my smile. ¡°I want to do it again.¡±


    He rolled toward me and kissed me through his smile. ¡°Damn, girl. I love you.¡±


    ¡°Damn, boy. I love you, too.¡±


    We spent all day in bed but Nick noticed when my stomach growled in protest from its lack of food. ¡°I need to feed you so you can be strong for tonight.¡±


    ¡°More?¡±


    He glided his nose along mine before he got up. ¡°Yes, ma''am. A lot more.¡±


    Good.


    I wanted to stay in and order room service but Nick insisted on taking me out somewhere nice for dinner. I dragged myself out of bed and got ready because I wanted to please him. Again.


    I didn¡¯t want to wash Nick¡¯s smell off, but I had to take another shower. When I was finished, I put on a cream sundress with a pair of brown sandals. I hadn¡¯t brought all of my hair straightening supplies so I was left with no option but to go curly. I pulled the front into a twist and secured it to the side with the back hanging in loose curls below my shoulders.


    Nick walked up behind me in the bathroom and pushed my hair away from my neck. He planted a kiss behind my ear and watched my face in the mirror. ¡°I told you that we were gonna happen.¡±


    ¡°You did and I¡¯m so glad you were right although I was so positive you were wrong at the time. I didn¡¯t want you to be right.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± He reached under my sundress and rubbed his hand across my panties. ¡°I guess it¡¯s a good thing I couldn¡¯t resist trying to get into these.¡±


    We¡¯d never get out of the room if he kept doing things like that, so I pushed his hand away. ¡°We¡¯ll be back in that bed happenin¡¯ again if you don¡¯t stop doing that.¡±


    He loved having that kind of power over me, but he tried to let me think I was the one in control. ¡°Yes, ma''am.¡±


    Nick took me to a romantic Italian restaurant. They weren¡¯t busy because it was the middle of the week and we were seated in a booth in a dark, secluded area off to ourselves. We were in the middle of our meal when I got a text from my aunt.


    ¡°It¡¯s from Tillie.¡± I looked up at Nick. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I know she¡¯s Mattie to you, but she¡¯s been Tillie to me for thirteen years.¡±


    He shrugged like he didn¡¯t care. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±


    I felt a bit of hope. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to think of this.¡±


    ¡°What does it say?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just gonna read it and you can tell me what you think it means.¡± I cleared my throat because it was a long one. Tillie never used short hand.


    ¡°Please know I am sorry for everything. I can¡¯t change the past but there¡¯s one thing I can change & that¡¯s your mother¡¯s mind. You & Nick will be together. I¡¯ve made sure of it.¡±


    ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    ¡°It sounds like she convinced her to go along with us being together, except I¡¯m certain that¡¯s not possible. She wouldn¡¯t have voluntarily consented to us being together. There is something else going on here.¡±


    ¡°Does it matter what it means as long as we get to be together?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right. It doesn¡¯t matter what the catch is, but do you see that she didn¡¯t just do this for me? She did this for you, too. She loves you and wants you to be happy.¡±


    He put his fork down on his plate. ¡°I need you to understand something, Payton. I have nothing for her, but I¡¯m choosing to be nice where she is concerned because you love her and I don¡¯t want to upset you. I honestly couldn¡¯t care less about her.¡±


    ¡°I know and I don¡¯t blame you. I get it and I don¡¯t take your feelings lightly.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for understanding.¡±


    After we finished dinner. We went back to the room to hit the resume button. We were both sleep deprived after the previous night, but neither of us wanted to sleep because we were afraid of missing one minute together.


    The light of the morning sun was threatening to stream through the crack in the curtains when we both fell asleep from utter exhaustion and it was almost time to leave when we woke again, leaving us little time to be together before we¡¯d have to check out.


    I opened my eyes and he was looking at me. ¡°After I met you, you became my reason to wake up every morning, but today you''re my reason to stay in bed.¡±


    ¡°Oh, how I wish we could.¡±


    I stretched and a seductive moan escaped my lips. ¡°Oops, that was my inner porn star sound accidentally coming out.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I recognize it from last night.¡±


    Sometimes he could be as witty as me. ¡°Nice one.¡±


    I lazily sat up in the bed and brought the bed sheet with me tucked under my arms. He mimicked me minus the sheet and scooted over behind me to massage my back and shoulders. ¡°Are you sore?¡±


    I was, but it was a good kind of sore. ¡°A little bit, but it¡¯s mostly when I move.¡±


    He put his arms around me and stroked my stomach. ¡°Then I guess you¡¯ll think of me every time you move today.¡±


    ¡°I have no doubt I¡¯ll think of you whether I move or not.¡±


    He groaned as he kissed my shoulder. ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave this bed, but I guess we can¡¯t stay here forever.¡±


    I looked at the clock and saw that our stolen time together was over. ¡°We¡¯ve gotta leave before they kick us out.¡±


    ¡°Just give me five more minutes of this.¡± He moved his mouth from my shoulder down my back and I gave him the five minutes he asked for plus another ten.


    After the hands of time forced us out of bed and scurried us toward the door, we stopped for one last kiss before entering the hallway of the real world.


    ¡°Call me as soon as you know what¡¯s going on.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll be the first.¡±


    He pulled me in for one last hug and huskily whispered in my ear. ¡°I already have been.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    As I got closer to Franklin, I knew there was a stop I had to make before I walked in to have it out with my mother again. I needed to see Claire.

 Page 32

    But, I wasn¡¯t making the same mistake twice. I rang the doorbell and waited for her to come to the door because I didn¡¯t need another peep show of her and Jessie in bed together.Advertisement


    She opened the door and looked at me like I was nuts. ¡°Since when do you ring the doorbell?¡±


    ¡°Since I got an eyeful of you and Kimosabe playing doctor under the covers. Thanks a lot ¡®cause I¡¯m scarred for life now. I¡¯ll never want to see a doctor again.¡±


    ¡°Shut up and get in here. I need an update on you and The Nickster.¡±


    I followed her to her living room and fell into her dad¡¯s recliner. ¡°A lot of crazy stuff has gone down, Claire. Being with Nick is like riding a bipolar coaster. One minute everything is awesome and I¡¯m happy and then the next the shit has hit the ceiling.¡±


    She gave me an all knowing look. ¡°Umm, tell me something I don¡¯t know. Jessie and I built and manage the bipolar coaster.¡±


    She was right. What was I thinking? Nick and I weren¡¯t the only ones with problems. ¡°Do you remember me telling you about the banquet to honor Nick¡¯s dad?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, how did that go?¡±


    I recalled how things played out and I wanted to go back in time and erase seeing my mom and David together. ¡°Things started out great. After the awards ceremony, we were dancing and Nick surprised me with a keycard to a room in the hotel where the banquet was.¡±


    She reached for a pillow on the couch and threw it at me. ¡°I¡¯m already jealous and you haven¡¯t told me any details yet.¡±


    ¡°Well, don¡¯t worry. You won¡¯t be too jealous when I tell you the rest. Nick and I ran into my mom with David. They were in the hotel together.¡±


    ¡°You mean your dad¡¯s partner? That David?¡±


    I still wanted to cringe remembering the guilty looks on their faces. ¡°Yeah, can you believe that? My mom is having an affair with him. Well, needless to say that put the brakes on me and Nick using the hotel room for whatever we were going to do.¡±


    ¡°Double shiz. So, what happened when you got home?¡±


    Did she really even have to ask? She knew how psycho my mom could be. ¡°Vivian went bat shit on me. She turned everything into why I was in a hotel with a boy. She told me I couldn¡¯t see Nick anymore. So, I went to Tillie¡¯s and that¡¯s where things got even crazier. I still can¡¯t believe it, but Tillie is Nick¡¯s mom.¡±


    When I finished explaining the whole mama drama situation, Claire was astounded. ¡°Is this gonna cause problems between you and Nick? I mean, his mom that left him has been more of a mother to you than her own children. That can¡¯t sit well with him.¡±


    Nope. No apparent problems in that department. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s going to cause too much of a problem for him since we just spent the last 24 hours in a hotel room together.¡±


    She let out a big squeal. ¡°Shut the front door! Did you practice making babies with him?¡±


    ¡°More than a few times.¡±


    She found another pillow on the couch and threw it at me. ¡°I¡¯m so jealous.¡±


    ¡°You have reason to be. I¡¯m telling you, Claire...you have to do whatever it takes to talk Kimosabe into it. Seduce him if you have to.¡±


    She groaned. ¡°You caught me trying. Thanks, by the way. I almost had him talked into it when you came in on us. Now, he won¡¯t come back to my bed because he says that it¡¯s too tempting.¡±


    I¡¯d worry if it wasn¡¯t. ¡°Sorry. I really had no idea.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Can¡¯t blame you because he¡¯s too honorable for his own good, but we do have a little secret. Wanna see?¡±


    Whatever it was had her grinning. ¡°Yeah, of course.¡±


    Claire pulled her shorts down low on her hips and I saw a fresh black tattoo. It was an ornate, antique heart shaped lock without a key sitting just inside her hipbone, still red and inflamed. I was more attuned to these tattoos now and I could see Jessie¡¯s name entwined within it. ¡°Jessie¡¯s got the matching key on his hip.¡±


    There was a time when I would have asked her if she had lost her mind, but not since I met Nick because I understood. ¡°I love it, Claire Bear.¡±


    ¡°I was nervous about showing it to you. I didn¡¯t know what you¡¯d say about it because I know you aren¡¯t into tattoos.¡±


    That was a different time in my life. ¡°I used to not be into them, but that was before I got a boyfriend with one bigger than my head.¡±


    ¡°You could be next.¡±


    Liking them and getting one was two completely different things. ¡°I doubt that. I¡¯m not a masochist.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t bad. Jessie sat next to me the whole time and held my hand, or maybe it was me holding his. He wasn¡¯t excited about my pants being pulled down that far in front of another guy.¡±


    ¡°You think you¡¯re gonna get another one?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Jessie doesn¡¯t want me to. He says he can¡¯t take watching it again, but something tells me it had less to do with the tattoo process and more of seeing the guy touching me so close to what he considers his.¡±


    ¡°You need to tell him he has to claim it before he can consider it his.¡±


    ¡°I know, right?¡±


    Who would have thought the bad girl hiding out below Claire¡¯s perfect persona would snag a bad boy that turned out to be so good?


    24 Change Your World For Me And I¡¯ll Rock It


    Nick


    It had been a long time since we left the hotel and I was beginning to worry about Payton. My mind raced as I considered all the possibilities. Maybe my mother had not come through with what she promised and Payton walked into a mess when she got home.


    I didn¡¯t want to call or text her in case she was still talking to her mom, but my fear and worry were threatening to take the reins. I picked up my phone and contemplated calling, then put it down again. This was ridiculous. She wasn¡¯t in danger and she would call when she could.


    My phone rang and I answered it immediately. ¡°God, I¡¯ve been waiting forever. Is everything okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, everything¡¯s fine. I needed to see Claire before I came home so I ran by her place for a minute. I¡¯m sorry. I guess I stayed longer than I realized.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. So, how did it go when you got home?¡±


    It was like my mom was someone else. The calm before the storm would be the perfect description. ¡°Weird, that¡¯s how it went. My mom acted like everything was cool. She said she wants me to invite you over so she and my dad can meet you. It was like the whole elevator incident never happened.¡±


    ¡°What do you think my mom told her?¡±


    For me, this could only be about one thing. ¡°I think she knows about my mom¡¯s affair with David and she¡¯s blackmailing her into letting us be together.¡±


    ¡°Why would my mom do that to her friend?¡±


    He¡¯d never see this for what it was. ¡°I think Tillie is doing it so she can see you happy and this is the only way she has any control over that.¡±


    ¡°I hope she¡¯s not doing it because she thinks it¡¯s gonna change the way I feel about her.¡±


    It mattered very little to me why she was doing it. ¡°Does it matter why if it means we get to be together?


    ¡°Nothing matters as long as I have you. You and no other.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    Being with Payton in her house with her parents was strange. I was welcomed, yet I wasn¡¯t. Her mother was outwardly courteous, yet simultaneously cold and I guessed her father was probably confused about why his wife was supporting Payton¡¯s decision to date someone like me.


    Dinner with the Archers was strained to say the least and they were less than impressed by my plans to attend community college and then apply to the police academy. Both of them had this incredible way of making me feel inferior without a word or a glance in my direction.


    When dinner was over, Payton and I went into the backyard and sat by the pool to dangle our feet in the water. It was a huge relief to get away from her parents, but the inferior feeling they instilled in me remained and my lack of conversation didn¡¯t go unnoticed by my girl. ¡°You¡¯ve been quiet tonight. What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    When you screwed girls without a relationship, you didn¡¯t have to do the meet the parents thing so this was a first for me. Her parents made their disdain for me no secret and I guessed I worried in the back of my mind that Payton would eventually listen to them. ¡°It¡¯s your parents. They might not say it, but they don¡¯t like me and they sure don¡¯t want me dating you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry they were so rude to you. I knew that¡¯s how they¡¯d be and that¡¯s why I didn¡¯t want you to meet them. It never had anything to do with you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault I don¡¯t measure up to their expectations for their daughter¡¯s boyfriend.¡±


    ¡°Please, don¡¯t say that. I couldn¡¯t be with anyone more perfect for me.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help what I came from, but I could control where I was going and to see how unimpressed they were with my career choice shook me to my core. I wondered if Payton was as unimpressed as her parents. ¡°I¡¯ve never given my career choice any thought beyond it being what I wanted to do with my life, but being with you makes me think about more than myself. How do you feel about me being a cop?¡±


    She reached for my hand. ¡°I joke about how hot you¡¯d be in a uniform, but the truth is that I don¡¯t love the thought of you being in danger every time you go to work. It scares me.¡±


    I moved my foot over to Payton¡¯s and played footsie with her under the water. ¡°Becoming an officer is a few years down the road, but I need to ask you something. If we were still together in a few years, could you see yourself being with a cop?¡±


    Oh, hell! Where did that come from?


    She snaked her foot around my ankle and stroked it up and down. ¡°Yeah, I could see myself dating a cop.¡±


    I didn¡¯t mean dating and I took a deep breath as I prepared to ask the question that could make or break this relationship. ¡°I¡¯ll make a decent income as a cop, but I¡¯d never be able to give you the fancy things your parents have, so I¡¯m cutting straight to the chase here. Could you be happy being married to a cop?¡±

 Page 33

    She quickly turned to look at me because she needed to see if I was joking. When her eyes met mine she found no humor and I recognized the shock in hers. ¡°You¡¯re serious.¡±Advertisement


    Well, well. The tables had turned. I was the one to shock Payton Archer and I wasn¡¯t finished yet. ¡°I¡¯m serious as a heart attack. If you told me you couldn¡¯t be married to a police officer and wanted me to do something different, I would. I would be who you needed me to be.¡±


    Her foot fell away from mine and she had no response. Not one word. That couldn¡¯t be good. I had just basically told her I wanted to marry her one day in not so many words and I¡¯d change my career if it was going to keep her from being my wife.


    I was the first to look away because my bravery was suddenly replaced by embarrassment. That was such a stupid move on my part. What was I thinking? Girls like her didn¡¯t voluntarily go from living in luxury to middle-class at best.


    She pulled her feet out the water and stood up. ¡°Come with me.¡±


    I pulled my feet out of the water and stood to follow her toward the pool house. She opened the door and we walked inside without turning on the light. After she shut the door, the dull light from the moon was the only illumination in the room as she reached for me in the darkness.


    Her lips didn¡¯t need light to find mine, but when they did, they hovered without kissing me. ¡°The only person I need you to be is you. If being you means you¡¯re a police officer, then I would be proud to be the wife of an officer.¡±


    She lightly sucked my bottom lip and let it go so it made a loud popping sound before she moved to my neck. How could she do that? Only one pull on my lip with her mouth and she could make me weak at the knees.


    ¡°You¡¯re parents are right there. I can see them through the window. What if they caught us?¡±


    ¡°We can see them but they can¡¯t see us. Besides, they already don¡¯t like you so how are we any worse off except both extremely frustrated?¡±


    She pulled my hands and led me over to a chair. ¡°Sit.¡±


    I did as I was told and then she sat across my lap. ¡°You just told me you would change your world to make me happy, so I think you deserve to have your world rocked, wouldn¡¯t you agree?¡±


    25 Hello Past. Have We Met?


    Payton


    The next several weeks passed quickly and I tried to avoid thinking about my upcoming move to Knoxville because it hurt too much to consider being away from Nick. We had become so close and the thoughts of being away from him was too painful to think about.


    Today was Monday, Ginny¡¯s day for her weekly cooking lesson with me and Dallas. Even Gabbi had joined us for lessons, so with all the women gathered in the kitchen making noise, Nick and his dad had started using this hour as one of their routine running times.


    Today¡¯s menu was pork chops, fried squash, homemade mac and cheese and cornbread. My mother would die a thousand deaths if she knew I was learning to cook this kind of food.


    There was a knock at the front door and I volunteered to answer it since I was in charge of the mac and cheese today and my job was done until the timer went off. I opened the door and found a pretty girl about my age standing there in tight faded jeans and a tight striped shirt. ¡°I¡¯m looking for Nick. Is he here?¡±


    I already didn¡¯t like this. ¡°No, but he should be back in about half an hour. Do you want me to tell him you stopped by?¡±


    ¡°Is it okay if I wait for him?¡±


    My heart jumped up and slammed against the wall of my throat while my instincts screamed at me; she was one of the unidentified. ¡°Sure. Would you like to come in?¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯ll sit in my car to wait.¡±


    I walked back into the kitchen and Dallas immediately saw the sickened look on my face. She slid over to me away from Ginny and Gabbi and lowered her voice. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Who was at the door?¡±


    ¡°It was a girl looking for Nick and I got the distinct feeling she knew him well,¡± I stressed so she would know what I meant. ¡°She¡¯s waiting outside in her car for him to get back.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Well, it doesn¡¯t matter if he knew her well or not. He loves you and he¡¯s not studying any ho he used to mess around with.¡±


    ¡°But why would she hang around to see him? Was she not clued in a little by his girlfriend answering the door?¡±


    Dallas placed a reassuring hand on my arm. ¡°If she didn¡¯t go to school with us, then she probably thinks you¡¯re his sister. Who knows?¡±


    Well, I wasn¡¯t his sister and I wanted to know what the hell was going on.


    I heard the front door open and I walked into the living room. Dutch looked suspiciously like Nick¡¯s wingman covering for him. ¡°Nick will be in shortly. He had a friend stop by to talk for a minute.¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to look like the jealous girlfriend so I forced myself to go back into the kitchen with the other women. I was apparently too preoccupied to hear the timer go off because Ginny cued me. ¡°Payton, that timer is for you. You need to check the macaroni to see if the panko crust is browned.¡±


    I zoned back into reality. ¡°Yes, ma''am.¡± I slid my hand into the oven mitt and then reached into the oven to pull it out and screamed when I burned my inner wrist.


    Ginny sprung into action and started inspecting me immediately. ¡°Hurry to the sink and run cool water over it to stop the burning process. Dallas, get Payton a plastic bag and put some ice cubes in it.¡±


    I ran the cool water over the burn and it helped a little, but I knew it was going hurt like a mutha later on. Dallas passed the bag of ice to me and I wrapped a paper towel around it.


    Ginny came over to inspect my injury. ¡°Everyone gets burned in the kitchen at some point, Payton.¡±


    I could handle the burn in the kitchen. It was the potential burn of what was happening in the front yard that had me worried.


    I sat in the kitchen holding the ice to my inner wrist while the girls got supper on the table in the dining room without me. I heard the front door open, but I didn¡¯t make a move. I was terrified to face Nick. I was afraid I might see something on his face I couldn¡¯t handle.


    He walked into the kitchen and saw me holding the bag of ice over my inner arm. ¡°What happened?¡±


    Dallas spoke up for me. ¡°She was preoccupied by what was in the front yard waiting for you and burned her arm.¡±


    That earned everyone¡¯s attention including Ginny¡¯s. ¡°What¡¯s in the front yard?¡±


    ¡°Nothin¡¯, Ginny. I¡¯m gonna take a shower before supper.¡±


    I was gonna explode before I got him alone to talk about that girl and what she was doin¡¯ here.


    Dallas walked up beside me where I sat. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I hope that didn¡¯t piss you off, but I wanted him to know it was his fault you got burned.¡±


    ¡°No, it was fine and it let him know we¡¯ll be having a little talk as soon as I can get him alone.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s alone in the bathroom now. Dad doesn¡¯t give a rip if you¡¯re in there with him or not, so I¡¯ll cover with Ginny if you wanna sneak in there to talk to him. There¡¯s no way you¡¯re gonna be able to sit through this meal without dying inside.¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t he have the door locked?¡±


    ¡°Sista, please. You think we don¡¯t know how to pick locks around here?¡±


    I followed her down the hall and watched her pop the lock on the door with a small screwdriver. ¡°Open sesame.¡±


    The shower was running and I slipped in with the agility of a thief in the night. I locked the door behind me knowing it was of little consequence in this house with all the lock pickers living here.


    ¡°Nick?¡±


    ¡°Payton?¡± He peeked around the shower curtain with shampoo in his hair. ¡°What are you doin¡¯ in here?¡±


    I was standing by the door with my arms crossed. ¡°I¡¯m the one that answered when that girl came to the door, so I know she was wanting to see you. Since she waited in her car for you, I¡¯m guessing she got her wish. What did she want from you?¡±


    He ducked back behind the curtain. ¡°Can we talk about it after supper?¡±


    ¡°No, we can¡¯t because I¡¯m freaking out here.¡±


    ¡°Payton, it¡¯s complicated and I can¡¯t explain the whole story before supper.¡±


    Complicated. I didn¡¯t like the way that sounded. ¡°What is there to explain?¡±


    The shower cut off and he reached for his towel. He got out and started drying off, but I was too terrified about what was happening to even think about looking at his naked body. ¡°Baby, trust me. You don¡¯t want me to start this story if I can¡¯t finish it.¡±


    A long story. That couldn¡¯t be good. I felt like I was gonna puke and I considered telling Nick to move over so I could hover over the commode. I covered my mouth with my hand to convince it not to regurgitate.


    ¡°Are you okay¡±


    ¡°Hell, no, Nick! I¡¯m not okay. I just sat in your house for half an hour waiting for you to come home to see a ho you screwed and now you won¡¯t tell me what happened when you talked to her.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t denying he screwed her so she was one of the unidentifiable. ¡°So, you have screwed her?¡±


    He sighed heavily. ¡°She says we did and I don¡¯t have a reason to doubt her.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t remember her?¡±


    ¡°No. She said it happened at a party. I remember the party, but I don¡¯t remember her at all.¡±


    ¡°So, why did she come here? What did she want?¡±


    There was a knock at the door and I heard Dallas¡¯ voice on the other side. ¡°Ginny is asking questions and looking for you. I can¡¯t cover for you any longer without her guessing where you¡¯re at.¡±


    I looked at Nick. ¡°We¡¯re not even close to being done with this conversation.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡±


    I opened the door and slipped out into the hall luckily without getting caught by Ginny. After I made my appearance in the kitchen, I resumed my duties but not without an inspection by Ginny. ¡°Let me see your burn.¡±

 Page 34

    ¡°You¡¯re lucky. It¡¯s not gonna be a bad one and should heal nicely if you keep some aloe vera on it.¡±Advertisement


    Lucky? Is that what we were calling it these days? It sure didn¡¯t feel like it at the moment.


    Nick sat next to me at supper and reached for my hand under the table. I pulled it away although that might have been a little unfair to him. I went into this relationship knowing I might eventually run into some of the girls he had been with, but I wasn¡¯t prepared for the way it made me feel. There was nothing he could do to change the past, but I was jealous and at the moment simply felt like being pissed.


    I pushed my food around and noticed Nick did the same. That couldn¡¯t be a good sign because he normally ate like a horse.


    When everyone finished supper, I helped clear the dishes and clean the kitchen. The closer I was to talking to Nick, the more nervous I became. When I was finished, I walked into the living room and Nick motioned for me to follow him out the front door. He took my hand in his once we were outside and he led me over to the swing on the front porch we had sat on a hundred times.


    He turned to face me and took my other hand in his. He squeezed them both. ¡°I love you, Payton.¡±


    The wild look in his eyes frightened me. ¡°There¡¯s something going on, isn¡¯t there?¡±


    He didn¡¯t answer, but he didn¡¯t have to because his face said it all. ¡°You¡¯re scaring me, Nick.¡±


    ¡°That girl says she got pregnant by me that night at the party. She had a baby a month ago and she says it¡¯s mine.¡±


    Sick. I was gonna be sick, like immediately. I jumped from the swing and heaved over the porch railing into the flowerbed. Nick sprung behind me and grabbed my hair as I leaned forward, just the way he had the first night we met.


    I heaved up everything in my gut, and then some more, as I heard Nick tell me over and over how sorry he was and how much he loved me. I straightened up when I felt like there couldn¡¯t possibly be anything left in my stomach.


    He wiped away the tears rolling down my face as he talked, but I couldn¡¯t understand what he was saying for the roaring in my ears and I recognized it as one of the first signs I usually got when I was going to pass out. ¡°I¡¯ve gotta lie down.¡±


    I dropped down to the concrete porch and propped my legs up on the exterior wall of the house so I could get some blood to my head before I blacked out. I threw my arm over my eyes because I knew I was about to make the ugly cry face. ¡°You told me you always used condoms. Always without fail.¡±


    ¡°I swear I did every single time. Until you.¡± Nick dropped down beside me and cradled my head in his lap. ¡°Payton, I don¡¯t remember that girl at all. The only thing I have to go on is what she says, so this baby may not even be mine. I told her I wanted to do a DNA test.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s at least be honest about this. If she said you screwed her then you screwed her. Stop acting like you¡¯re a damn victim here. You played and now you have to pay.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re pissed and I get it. I¡¯m pissed at myself for being so stupid.¡±


    I¡¯m sure there was a word for what I was feeling but it wasn¡¯t coming to mind and pissed didn¡¯t even begin to cover it. I strained to get up and then looked at him. ¡°I can¡¯t handle this. I¡¯ve gotta go.¡±


    ¡°Payton, you can¡¯t leave. We need to talk about this.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to talk about because I¡¯m telling you that I can¡¯t handle someone else having your baby.¡±


    He grabbed my arm and I jerked it away as I burst out crying. ¡°I wanted to be the one to have your babies, not her.¡±


    He caught me and pulled me to him for a hug as my cry escalated into uncontrollable sobbing. ¡°We can get past this and make it work.¡±


    I was crying too uncontrollably to disagree, but I shook my head violently.


    ¡°Please, don¡¯t say we can¡¯t. We can get through this because I love you and I know you love me.¡±


    ¡°What about next time? What do I do when the next girl shows up with your baby and then the next and you eventually have your own little baseball team?¡±


    ¡°You need time to cool down.¡±


    Time wasn¡¯t gonna fix this FUBAR situation. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m cool. I¡¯m so cool with this that I¡¯m gonna tell you what you can do. Go get in that car you¡¯ve used to screw all these girls and drive down to the pool hall so you can find your next pregnancy scare.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t mean that, Payton.¡±


    ¡°I do. I mean every single word. Go find that slut, Samantha, and maybe you can screw her tonight. I bet she¡¯d love to have your next baby.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I will but I need you to move your car out from behind my screwmobile so I can get down to the pool hall and find her.¡±


    I stormed toward my car and screamed over my shoulder. ¡°Well, then let me get the hell up outta yo¡¯ way, Poppycock.¡±


    26 Regrets


    Nick


    No! There¡¯s no way that just happened. Except the gut wrenching sickness in the pit of my stomach was proof it had. It was official. My past just collided with my future and it had won.


    I stood in my yard and watched Payton speed away out of my life and I made a decision. This was not going to end like this.


    I ran into the house and grabbed my keys without a word to my family so I could catch Payton before she got away. I was speeding down the highway and was almost to Franklin when I realized I hadn¡¯t caught her, so I picked up my phone and dialed her number.


    Who was I kiddin¡¯? She wasn¡¯t going to take my calls, so I left her a voicemail. ¡°Baby, I¡¯m so sorry for everything. Please, call me so we can talk this out. I didn¡¯t mean what I said about going to find another girl. You¡¯re the only one I love. It¡¯s you and no other.¡±


    I took the next few minutes to think about where Payton would go. Definitely not home. Claire¡¯s. I was almost positive that was where she would go and so that meant that was where I was going, too.


    I pulled up at the Deverauxs and saw Claire¡¯s car and Jessie¡¯s truck, but no sign of Payton¡¯s car. Dammit. Where was she?


    Even if she wasn¡¯t here, I would bet she called Claire so I went to the door and used the knocker to beat with a little more desperation than I intended. I didn¡¯t let Claire get the door open all the way before I started questioning her. ¡°Has she called you? Do you know where she is?¡±


    ¡°I assume you mean Payton and no, I haven¡¯t talked to her. What¡¯s happened?¡±


    ¡°We had a fight and she took off.¡±


    Claire found that amusing. ¡°You know she¡¯s a hothead so give her time to cool down and then you can talk about it.¡±


    She didn¡¯t understand the seriousness of the situation. ¡°It was bad, Claire. I don¡¯t know if she¡¯ll ever talk to me again.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous. She loves you so of course she¡¯ll talk to you again.¡±


    Jessie came to the door from the back of the house. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s going on?¡±


    Claire smiled at Jessie. ¡°He and Payton have had a spat.¡±


    It was way more than a spat. ¡°Claire, please call her for me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll call her to make sure she¡¯s okay, but I won¡¯t betray her trust by giving the phone to you. She has her reasons for not talking to you and you¡¯ll have to wait until she¡¯s ready.¡±


    Claire went to get her phone and left me with Jessie. ¡°What did you do?¡±


    I ran my hands up through my hair and fisted it to give it a yank. ¡°I have screwed up big time.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s new?¡±


    ¡°No, Dude. I¡¯m not playing. A chick showed up at my house tonight. She told me I got her pregnant and her one month old was mine.¡±


    ¡°Oh, hell. Is it?¡±


    ¡°I have no idea. I guess it could be, but I don¡¯t remember this girl at all. She didn¡¯t even look familiar.¡±


    ¡°What are you gonna do?¡±


    ¡°I told her I wanted a DNA test and she agreed to do it. She¡¯s gonna make the arrangements and then call me.¡±


    I saw Claire coming down the stairs with the phone to her ear and she didn¡¯t look happy with me. ¡°I¡¯m not telling him that.¡±


    She held her phone out to me. ¡°She has something to tell you.¡±


    I took the phone and put it to my ear. ¡°Please, listen to me, Baby. I love you and...¡±


    ¡°No, you listen to me. While you¡¯re out finding Samantha or your next unidentified number tonight, I¡¯m going to work on my second one. Then, when I¡¯m finished doing him, we can compare notes on how it made you feel to know someone else had that part of me.¡±


    ¡°Please don¡¯t, Doll Face. It won¡¯t fix this and you¡¯ll regret it.¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯ll be the one to regret it more than me.¡±


    And then she hung up on me. I dialed her back and she didn¡¯t answer. Great. Now she wouldn¡¯t answer my calls or Claire¡¯s. ¡°She¡¯s going to sleep with someone to get even with me because she¡¯s so hurt by the possibility of this baby being mine.¡± I felt the tears stinging my eyes. ¡°She doesn¡¯t care that this would have happened a year ago before I met her. Claire, text her and tell her to not do it.¡±


    I passed her the phone and her thumb went to work. ¡°I am, but I¡¯m not doing it for you. I¡¯m doing it for her because she¡¯ll regret it.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    I drove all over Franklin and didn¡¯t find Payton or her car, so I was forced to give up and go back to Collinsville. I had to face it. It had been hours since I talked to her and if she followed through with her threat to sleep with someone else, I was already too late. The deed was done.


    I pulled into the parking lot of the county line pool hall on my way back into Collinsville and decided a beer or two or twelve might help take my mind off what happened with Payton. I walked in and two of my buddies were hanging out in the back corner as usual. ¡°Hawke! Get your ass back here, you son of a bitch.¡±


    I walked to where my old gang sat and slid into an open chair next to Justin Walls. ¡°Where the hell have you been all summer?¡±

 Page 35

    I shrugged. ¡°Ah, around.¡±Advertisement


    Luke Mason leaned back in his chair. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you where Hawke¡¯s been since he won¡¯t. He¡¯s been between the legs of the sweetest piece of ass I¡¯ve ever seen. I get hard just thinking about that East Franklin girl.¡±


    One warning. That was all I was willing to give and that was only because I considered these guys friends. ¡°Shut up, I¡¯m not gonna let you talk trash about her like that. She¡¯s not like the others.¡±


    ¡°Look at how whipped he is. Her stuff must be damn good.¡±


    I stood up and the chair behind me fell backwards making a crashing sound on the concrete floor. ¡°I warned you, Luke.¡±


    He held his hands up signaling his white flag. ¡°Easy, Hawke. I was just screwing with you. I had no idea you were that serious about the chick.¡±


    Luke hadn¡¯t said anything I wouldn¡¯t have...before Payton, that is. ¡°Sorry, Dude. It hasn¡¯t been a great night.¡±


    ¡°Then, you need a beer.¡± Luke got up from the table and came back with a fresh pitcher. ¡°Have a drink on me.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡± I filled the frosty beer mug in front of me, but didn¡¯t wait for the head to go down before taking the first big swig.


    ¡°What¡¯s up with you? Got lady problems?¡±


    Lady problems didn¡¯t even begin to describe what I had going on. ¡°Me and Payton are having a little trouble, but it¡¯ll be cool. No worries¡± These weren¡¯t the kind of guys you confided in with your innermost thoughts or your relationship problems so I left it at that.


    It was two hours and eight draft beers later and I had heard the complete rundown of every girl Luke and Justin had done over the entire summer. I welcomed the beer buzz I had gotten. It helped tune out their chatter while temporarily helping me forget my breakup with Payton...until Samantha Hodges walked through the door and I remembered Payton¡¯s angry words. ¡®Go find that slut, Samantha, and maybe you can screw her tonight. I bet she¡¯d love to have your next baby.¡¯


    I turned my head from her hoping she wouldn¡¯t notice me, but Luke hollered out to invite her over to join us at our table. ¡°Sam, bring your fine ass over here.¡±


    She walked over and I stared into my beer without looking up at her, but I could feel her eyes all over me. ¡°What¡¯s up, guys?¡±


    ¡°Just catching up with Hawke since he¡¯s been hyberdating that East Franklin chick.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, how¡¯s that working out for you?¡±


    Luke laughed and told Samantha, ¡°He says there¡¯s trouble in paradise. Maybe you could help him out a little.¡±


    Without warning, Samantha sat across my lap and put her arm around me. ¡°Nick knows I¡¯m always willing to help him out.¡±


    I strained to distance myself from her. ¡°Thanks, but I¡¯m good.¡±


    She scooted across my lap so that she was sitting on my crotch instead of my legs. ¡°You don¡¯t look like you¡¯re doing good. You look drunk and hard up and I can do something about that.¡±


    I pushed against her, at least what I thought felt like pushing, but she didn¡¯t budge as she leaned in and kissed me hard. Luke and Justin yelped and hooted, but I managed to push her back enough to unlock my mouth from hers.


    ¡°You need to get off of me, now.¡±


    She twisted toward the entrance to the pool hall and then back to me. ¡°Kiss me again.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to kiss you the first time and it¡¯s definitely not happening again. You seriously need to get up before I toss you on your ass.¡±


    She reached around my shoulders and locked her lips onto mine again for a desperate kiss. I grabbed her face and pushed her away. ¡°What the hell, Samantha!¡±


    I angrily shoved back from the table and grabbed her by the waist to force her off my lap. ¡°Off, now.¡±


    I stood to ensure she didn¡¯t sit back down in my lap and caught a glimpse of Payton going out the front door. ¡°Dammit.¡±


    I ran for the door as fast as I could after having eight beers. I saw Payton walking toward her car and I called out to her. ¡°Payton, please stop.¡±


    27 Everything


    Payton


    My heart suddenly felt cold and the center began to crack and shatter like a sheet of ice when it can no longer withstand the pressure being pushed against it.


    I shouldn¡¯t have come here, but I stupidly wanted to see him so we could talk.


    ¡°Payton, please stop.¡±


    I stopped, but not because I planned on listening to anything he had to say. I was the one that was going to do the talking. I turned around and began to clap my hands. ¡°Bravo, Nick. You deserve a round of applause for your performance this summer. You really had me believing you loved me, so take a bow.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that,¡± he slurred in his drunkenness. ¡°I love you with all of my heart.¡±


    The bastard was trashed so I couldn¡¯t even enjoy letting him have a piece of my mind because he would never remember it anyway. He reached for my arm but I jerked from his touch. ¡°We haven¡¯t been broken up five hours and you were already making out with that slut.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t. She sat on my lap and started kissing me. I told her to stop.¡±


    ¡°So, you¡¯re the victim, again?¡±


    He put his hands in his hair and pressed the sides of his head. ¡°I don¡¯t know how to make you understand. I don¡¯t want Samantha. I never wanted her, even before you came along.¡±


    ¡°So, you¡¯ve never slept with her?¡±


    He didn¡¯t deny it and it hurt like hell. ¡°I can¡¯t change you.¡±


    ¡°But can¡¯t you see you already have? I¡¯ve done some terrible things in the past but how can you hold that stuff against me when it all happened before you came into my life? You are my ray of light in this dark world. I wasn¡¯t looking for anything like you, but you have been such a beautiful surprise.¡±


    They were beautiful words but that¡¯s all they were and would fade away with the morning sun. ¡°No. We are so over that someone should come up with a new word for over.¡±


    Hearing myself tell him that we were over was the breaking dam holding my tears inside. I turned to leave and he staggered forward and caught me by my waist from behind. He pulled me close and I could feel his hot, drunken breath against the back of my neck, sending chills all over my body. I couldn¡¯t help myself from leaning back against him because even under the present circumstances, he still had the power to make me want him.


    He held me tight and I let him. I needed to have him close, even if it was only for a minute before I let him go forever.


    He pushed my hair away from my neck and brought his mouth to my ear. Even with him standing behind me, the smell of beer on his breath was stout. ¡°Can¡¯t you see I would do anything to be your everything?¡±


    ¡°My everything wouldn¡¯t be having babies with other girls.¡± I felt a sob building in my throat. ¡°So since I¡¯m not your everything, how about I¡¯ll be nothing at all to you?¡±


    He kissed the back of my neck and rubbed his hands over my stomach. ¡°You are my everything and I don¡¯t want babies with anyone but you. I want to put them inside you and then watch them grow right here.¡±


    I laced my fingers through his and savored the moment briefly before I pushed his hands away. ¡°You¡¯re drunk.¡±


    He turned me around to face him and his eyes were glazed over. ¡°I may be drunk, but I know exactly what I¡¯m saying. I want to marry you and have lots of babies...little blond headed ones with honey eyes just like their mother.¡±


    He started kissing my neck and I felt myself melting under his touch. He lifted me onto the hood of my car and then pressed his body against my parted legs. ¡°I love you, Payton, and I don¡¯t want to live without you.¡±


    This was his game and he was damn good at it so I had to get away before I gave in and got naked with him in the backseat of my car. I pushed him away and slid off the hood. ¡°No, we¡¯re not doing that. You¡¯re not gonna kiss me and turn me on to make me forget what you¡¯ve done. You have a baby out there with another girl. That¡¯s a problem for me because I¡¯m going to be the one to give my husband his first child. Me, not some random whore.¡±


    I opened my car door and got inside. ¡°I should have known when you swept me off my feet that I was in the perfect position for you to drop me on my ass.¡±


    28 Chokehold


    Nick


    I just watched my whole world drive away.


    I walked back inside the pool hall and went back to the table where my buddies were sitting. They looked at me waiting for an explanation, but I didn¡¯t have one to give them.¡°Everything okay?¡±


    No, nothing was okay without Payton in my life. I stared blankly at the beer I had not finished when she came in. Why had she come here? Had she come to talk things over and then changed her mind when she saw Samantha in my lap kissing me?


    Luke snapped his fingers in front of my face. ¡°What happened, Dude?¡±


    Samantha walked up to our table looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. ¡°Please, allow me to explain, boys.¡±


    I stared dumbfounded at her. I had no idea what she was about to announce, but it was clearly making her happy. ¡°The Playah got played. That¡¯s what happened. I set you up, Nick.¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±


    She motioned across the room. ¡°I believe you met my cousin, Brandi, earlier today.¡±


    I turned around and saw the girl that was at my house claiming to be the mother of a baby belonging to me. ¡°You¡¯re cousins?¡±


    ¡°Tell me Nick, what does it say about one¡¯s character when a complete stranger shows up at your door and tells you they had your baby and you don¡¯t know the difference because you¡¯ve screwed so many girls?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never met her?


    ¡°Luckily for Brandi, no.¡±


    ¡°Why would you do this?¡±


    ¡°You screwed me and I returned the favor. Do you need me to elaborate further on that?¡±


    I slammed my palm against the table and made the beer mugs clank against the surface. ¡°You just caused me to lose the only girl I have ever loved.¡±

 Page 36

    ¡°Luckily for me, she thinks the worst of you and wouldn¡¯t believe you or these tools you call friends if you told her what actually happened. So, take some time to reflect upon your feelings and do a little soul searching. You might find that you might have one after all.¡±Advertisement


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    My head was killing me and I definitely needed to take something for it, but what could I take for the pain of losing Payton? There was only one cure for that and it was unobtainable because she believed I had a baby with a stranger and I had no way of proving otherwise.


    I heard a gentle knock on my door, so I knew it was Dallas. ¡°Come in.¡±


    She was the one they called to come get me at the pool hall last night and I knew she was checking in on me because she saw how plastered I was. She slowly opened the door and came in with two pain killers and a glass of water. ¡°I thought you might need these this morning.¡±


    She was always so thoughtful. Thank God she wasn¡¯t like Jake. ¡°Thanks, my head is pounding.¡±


    ¡°Do you want to talk about what happened?¡±


    I explained about the girl and her accusation on down to how Samantha had set the whole thing up. ¡°Dallie, I have no way of proving I didn¡¯t get this girl pregnant because there isn¡¯t going to be paternity papers saying I didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Just tell Payton the truth.¡±


    ¡°I tried to tell her about Samantha last night and she didn¡¯t believe me. She knows what she saw and I can¡¯t convince her otherwise. She¡¯s definitely not going to believe me about that baby.¡±


    ¡°So, you¡¯re just going to give up? Just like that?¡±


    ¡°What other choice do I have? I can¡¯t prove anything so I should face reality. My past just put my future in a chokehold and snuffed the life out of it.¡±


    ¡Ö ¡Ö ¡Ö


    It had been a week, 7 whole days, since I saw Payton and I had never been more miserable in my life. If I had any sense, I would stop asking Dane about her when he came to see Dallas, but I guess I was a masochist in that way and I just couldn¡¯t stop myself.


    I didn¡¯t even have to ask him anymore. He automatically had a report waiting for me each time he came to the house and tonight was no different.


    She wasn¡¯t seeing anyone and that helped my feelings minimally. Dallas was getting fed up with Dane¡¯s reports because she thought I was being a dumb ass about the whole thing. ¡°You¡¯re an idiot. Stop asking him about her if you¡¯re not going to try to get her back.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Which is it? You can¡¯t stop asking him about her or you can¡¯t try to get her back.¡±


    ¡°Both.¡± I got up and headed for the door because we had beat this dead horse enough and I had somewhere to be. ¡°I¡¯ve got a race in half an hour so I¡¯ve gotta split. Ya¡¯ll coming tonight or what?¡±


    ¡°Hell, yeah, we¡¯re coming. Your sister never misses and I¡¯ve got five hundred bucks on you, Dude. I¡¯ll be there to get my money.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll see you there then.¡±


    I drove down Main Street on my way to The Strip for the race and got stopped at our red light...the one where Payton ran into the back of my car and made me fall in love with her. I smiled as I remembered the way the whole thing happened and I laughed when I thought about her asking if she could swipe her credit card up my ass crack. I missed her smart ass mouth.


    I pulled up at the start line next to my opponent, some community college guy in a suped up black Mustang GT, and I was thoroughly unimpressed unless he was hiding something under that hood I didn¡¯t know about. I got out and we did our usual sizing each other up thing. I hung with my pals and he hung with his. Yada yada.


    I saw Samantha Hodges making a move on my opponent and knew it was her psychotic way of trying to make me jealous. It was really too bad that she was going to give her body to someone that cared nothing about her because she thought she would gain vengeance against another guy that cared even less about her. Not only was she a slut; she was a dumb one, too.


    The GT was nothing more than a pony. I couldn¡¯t really even get excited about the whole thing because the guy was such an amateur. I almost felt bad taking the money. Almost. Besides, he was getting Samantha so he wouldn¡¯t be leaving completely empty handed.


    I got out of the car and felt a twinge of hope when I saw Jessie and Claire in the crowd around my car. I immediately began searching every face for Payton but found no sign of her.


    ¡°She didn¡¯t come.¡±


    At least we weren¡¯t gonna beat around the bush about it so I didn¡¯t try to insult Claire¡¯s intelligence by pretending I didn¡¯t know what she meant. ¡°Where is she?¡±


    I knew it wasn¡¯t my business, but that didn¡¯t keep me from wanting to know. ¡°She¡¯s at her house waiting on Cooper to come over so they can talk.¡±


    Oh, hell no. Say it wasn¡¯t so. ¡°Why is Cooper going to see Payton? He has a girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°Not anymore. He broke up with Allie because he said he wants Payton back.¡±


    That son of a bitch probably knows Payton and I were sleeping together so he thinks he¡¯ll have a better chance at getting in her panties now. ¡°Is she gonna take him back?¡±


    Claire shrugged and gave me her idunno face. ¡°She doesn¡¯t have a reason not to.¡±


    Wrong. ¡°Uh...yeah, she does. How ¡®bout cause he¡¯s a total dickhead?¡±


    ¡°Well, he wouldn¡¯t be the only one now, would he?¡± I couldn¡¯t argue with her on that. ¡°You know what, Nick? I liked you a lot better when you were messing up her lip gloss instead of her mascara.¡±


    God, it killed me to know I was the reason for her tears, even if I was completely innocent of the things she thought I did.


    ¡°And you know what else? Right now, that dickhead is telling her everything she should be hearing from you.¡±


    I should have tried again to tell her the truth. I shouldn¡¯t have given up so easily. ¡°I screwed up big time.¡±


    ¡°Ya¡¯ think? You more than screwed up, Bro. She¡¯s been devastated.¡± Claire hit me in the arm with her fist as hard as she could. ¡°I told you to be the right guy and you hurt her. I should jerk your balls up over your ears.¡±


    Jessie died out laughing. ¡°Be careful, Dude. I¡¯m pretty sure she could do it.¡±


    That¡¯s probably exactly what I deserved. ¡°Can I fix this?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but how will you know if you don¡¯t try?¡±


    I turned and ran for my car. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s the plan, Stan?¡± I heard Claire call out behind me.


    I turned and ran backwards as I answered so I wouldn¡¯t lose more precious time with Payton. ¡°I¡¯m going to get my girl.¡±


    I raced down the highway toward Franklin praying the whole way that Payton hadn¡¯t decided to comply with Cooper¡¯s previous ultimatum or any new ones he might have come up with. My mind raced, imagining every possible scenario. Would she give in to him? Ordinarily, I wouldn¡¯t have thought so but I had hurt her and she could potentially be looking for a way to ease that pain. I knew all too well what it was like to look for comfort in anyone willing to offer a little to you.


    I parked my car on the street in front of her house and ran across the lawn even though the sprinklers were on. I rang the doorbell with one hand while I beat against the glass part of the door with my other hand. ¡°Payton!¡±


    Vivian answered the door with a smirk on her face. ¡°You¡¯re too late. She left with Cooper five minutes ago and they didn¡¯t look like they¡¯d be coming back any time soon. Sorry.¡±


    29 Tangible Thoughts


    Payton


    3 Weeks Later


    It was Friday night in a college town and I sat alone in the apartment I shared with Claire while she and Jessie were out celebrating their one year anniversary. He told me he had something special planned for her, but wouldn¡¯t tell me what it was because he didn¡¯t trust me to keep it to myself. Imagine that. He thought I had a big mouth.


    I totally expected her to come home with an engagement ring on her finger.


    I settled into my now hollowed out spot on the sofa with a half gallon of rocky road to watch some stupid reality show about finding love. Really? If you couldn¡¯t find love in the real world, were you really expecting to find it on some stupid television show? Apparently these 24 people thought so.


    I was only a few bites of ice cream in when there was a knock on the door. Great. I hoped it wasn¡¯t that weirdo from next door again. Too many freaks and not enough circuses.


    I eased over to the window and slowly pulled up on the blind¡¯s slat to see who my guest was because I wasn¡¯t opening the door up to that weirdo. It was Dallas Hawke.


    Fear was the first emotion I felt when I saw Nick¡¯s sister at my door. Something had to be wrong and my mind raced with the possibilities. He must have had a wreck during a race. That had to be it, or he had shot himself with one of those stupid guns or those guys had jumped him again because he wouldn¡¯t throw a race.


    I quickly swung the door open and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I felt the sensation of pulsating blood in my face. My stomach became fluttery like I was going to be sick. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Dallas? What¡¯s happened to him?¡±


    She smiled when I opened the door and I felt a small amount of relief. ¡°Nothing has happened, at least nothing new. I¡¯m just here to talk about him.¡±


    I felt relief wash over me. ¡°Please, come in.¡±


    She walked through my door and we hugged each other as though we hadn¡¯t seen each other in years. She squeezed me hard and groaned. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you. I¡¯ve missed having you in the kitchen with me and Ginny. She¡¯s a slave driver without you there to help me.¡±


    I¡¯d love to be back in the kitchen with the Hawke women. ¡°I¡¯ve missed you and Ginny, too.¡±


    I had missed them, but I wanted to skip the courtesies and get straight to what brought her here. Something had to be wrong with Nick. She wasn¡¯t here out of the clear blue without calling for no good reason.

 Page 37

    ¡°I know you¡¯re wondering why I¡¯m here.¡±Advertisement


    I wasn¡¯t just wondering. I was dying to know. ¡°More than just a little bit.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m here about that girl with the baby.¡±


    Here we went. I was finally going to know for sure that Nick had a baby with another girl and I felt my nausea return.


    ¡°There¡¯s so much you don¡¯t know.¡±


    I¡¯m sure there was and I preferred to keep it that way because Nick had broken my heart enough for this century.


    ¡°Can we sit? This is gonna take a while.¡±


    ¡°Of course. You¡¯ll have to excuse me because I¡¯m so shaken that I can¡¯t think straight.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re shaken because you love Nick.¡± I couldn¡¯t argue with that so I didn¡¯t.


    We sat on the couch and I used the remote to turn off the television.


    ¡°I have things to tell you and your initial reaction is going to be to not believe me, but everything I¡¯m about to say is the truth.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m listening.¡±


    ¡°That baby was not Nick¡¯s. In fact, I¡¯m not even sure there ever was a baby.¡±


    I didn¡¯t understand. How did they do a DNA test on a baby that she wasn¡¯t sure even existed?


    ¡°Samantha Hodges has been in love with Nick for years. She has chased him for as long as I can remember and she occasionally caught him, but all of that ended when he found you and she couldn¡¯t stand it. She orchestrated this whole baby thing. Nick never met that girl until she showed up at our house. Samantha knew you and Nick would break up and he would end up down at the pool hall getting drunk. That¡¯s why she was there that night, to make her move on him but then you walked in and that was the topping on her cake.¡±


    It was a good story, but that¡¯s all it was. It was a shame that Nick had lied to his sister so well because I could see that she believed everything she was telling me. ¡°If all of this was true, why wouldn¡¯t he have told me when it happened?¡±


    ¡°He tried to explain about Samantha that night, but you were so hurt you wouldn¡¯t listen. He knew the story about the baby would be no different.¡±


    She was right. I didn¡¯t believe either explanation.


    ¡°I can see you don¡¯t believe me and that¡¯s why I brought this.¡± She reached into her purse and pulled out a worn black leather book. ¡°I know how wrong it was for me to take this. These are Nick¡¯s most private thoughts and he will either love me or hate me for giving this to you.¡±


    ¡°Nick keeps a journal?¡±


    ¡°I know. He doesn¡¯t seem the type.¡±


    No, I would never have pegged Nick as one to journal. Not in a million years.


    She handed the book to me and I stared at it like it was some ancient piece of art I didn¡¯t have the right to touch. ¡°I don¡¯t suggest reading anything before the day he met you.¡±


    Against my conscience screaming at me, I took the worn leather book containing all of Nick¡¯s most private thoughts because I wanted to crawl inside his head knowing all along how completely and morally wrong it would be. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I can read this, Dallas. I want to, but it feels so wrong.¡±


    ¡°If you read it and find out he¡¯s a lying bastard, then you¡¯re no worse off then you were. If you read it and find out he loves you more than life itself, then it will be worth it.¡±


    ¡°You haven¡¯t read it?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    That was a huge gamble for her to bring me something she hadn¡¯t read. ¡°Then how do you know he doesn¡¯t journal about the way he screwed girls behind my back the whole time we were together?¡±


    ¡°Because I know how much he loves you and I saw the changes in him. That¡¯s why I¡¯m so confident in giving this to you. I¡¯m positive it¡¯ll bring you back together.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t he going to know it¡¯s gone?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but I¡¯m gonna blame Jake.¡±


    Oh, hell. I wouldn¡¯t want to be there when that went down.


    I walked Dallas to the door and we said our goodbyes, not knowing if we would ever see each other again. The thought made me sad. She turned back to me before she made it to Dane¡¯s porsche and said, ¡°Don¡¯t be surprised when you find out he¡¯s breakable.¡±


    Once Dallas was gone, I sat in my spot on the couch and stared at Nick¡¯s tangible thoughts in my hands. I brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply, taking in the heady mixture of leather and Nick¡¯s signature smell.


    Was I ready to know Nick¡¯s innermost thoughts? Sometimes the things that came out of his mouth were more than I could stand. I had to do some serious thinking about this.


    I picked up my partially melted box of rocky road and put it back in the freezer because I didn¡¯t seem to have an appetite for it any longer. I leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at the journal from where I stood in the kitchen as I put one of my nails to my mouth to chew.


    I realized I was ruining my fresh manicure and jerked my hand away from my mouth. I left the kitchen and picked up the journal again. I cracked it open to look at his handwriting and couldn¡¯t recall ever seeing it before. It was pretty and legible, not like most guys¡¯ chicken scratch.


    I had sat in utter silence weighing my two options with their consequences for an hour and a half when I heard the sound of keys in the front door. Claire came through the door smiling from ear to ear and I could tell she was about to burst. Yep. She definitely got an engagement ring tonight.


    ¡°We have an announcement to make. Jessie has asked me to marry him.¡± She held up her left hand. ¡°And I said, ¡®yes.¡¯¡±


    Claire told me every little detail about the way Kimosabe had proposed while he kept quiet and laughed at her animated way of retelling the story. He had driven her back to Franklin to the old football field where they had their first kiss and first dance, except this time he played a different song. He told Claire to ask him what the name of the song was and he popped open a ring box as he told her the song was ¡®Marry Me.¡¯


    It was sickeningly sweet, but I was ecstatic for her. She had really found her prince charming, tattoos and all.


    Jessie was definitely staying over tonight because there was no way Claire was sending him to the guys¡¯ dormitory on campus. Not after a marriage proposal like that. It might not be the deed itself, but the boy had some rewards coming his way.


    I sat on the couch clutching Nick¡¯s book for another hour after Claire and Jessie went to bed and I had no better idea of what I was going to do than when Dallas handed it to me. I heard Claire¡¯s door open and then shut quietly before she came into the living room where I was.


    ¡°Hey, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    I wasn¡¯t sure if I should tell Claire about the journal. She always strived to be perfect and snooping in someone else¡¯s private thoughts would surely make her list of no-no¡¯s.


    ¡°Dallas was here tonight.¡±


    ¡°Is everything all right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Everything¡¯s fine, but she had some interesting things to tell me. She said that whole thing with the baby was a hoax made up by that Samantha chick that cornered me at Nick¡¯s race. She had her cousin pretend to have Nick¡¯s baby to break us up. She brought this to me so I could read it for myself.¡±


    I showed her what I had been clutching to my heart for the last hour. ¡°It¡¯s Nick¡¯s journal. She took it from him and she thinks I should read it.¡±


    ¡°Shut the front door.¡±


    ¡°She has no idea what it says, but she¡¯s confident it will change my mind about Nick. Do you think I should read it?¡±


    ¡°The question is do you think you should read it?¡±


    I hated when she answered a question with a question. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it be wrong to read his private thoughts?¡±


    She looked at me as though I was a stranger. ¡°Have we met? Since when do you care if it¡¯s wrong? Hell, yes, it would be wrong to read it. Should that stop you? Hell, no! Read it.¡±


    Once I crossed that line, I couldn¡¯t go back. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I can.¡±


    ¡°Payton, now is not the time for you to go Team Pollyanna. It doesn¡¯t suit you.¡±


    Okay. Maybe I would read one entry. I opened it up and scanned until I found the day we met.


    30 Nick¡¯s Journal


    Payton


    June 7th


    I won another race last night but that wasn¡¯t the best part of my night. I met a girl, a real hot piece of ass w/ a smart mouth on her. I called her Doll Face because she¡¯s the most beautiful girl I¡¯ve ever seen. She acted like she wasn¡¯t falling for my shit, but I played it cool and ended up with her in the backseat of her car. Too bad she was asleep w/ her head in my lap because she got wasted. We could have had a real good time.


    She says she¡¯s not looking to hook up with someone like me. She says she¡¯s looking for truly, madly, deeply but I bet I can change her mind. I always do. And I¡¯ll start tonight at Dane¡¯s party.


    Well, that entry certainly wasn¡¯t going to make me fall in love with him all over again. Why couldn¡¯t he have said his world stopped turning the first time he saw me or he thought he was in heaven because I must certainly be an angel? Not that I was a hot piece of ass with a smart ass mouth.


    Claire saw my disappointment. ¡°What does it say?¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to tell her because it was such a letdown, but I did anyway. ¡°Something about me being a hot piece with a smart mouth."


    Claire thought it was hilarious. ¡°Jessie told me his first thought about me was that I had great tits.¡±


    Okay. That made me feel a little better. Now I wanted to read more. ¡°Get out of here and go back to your fianc¨¦e. You weren¡¯t in there long enough to reward him well enough for what he gave you tonight.¡±


    ¡°Fianc¨¦e. Wow, I have a fianc¨¦e. Who¡¯d have thunk it?¡±


    Claire went back to bed and I poured myself a glass of wine before I settled into my bed with my new companion. I had already crossed the line so why stop now?


    June 8th

 Page 38

    It¡¯s official. I¡¯m nuts. I¡¯m writing about her for the second time today. I thought about her until I went to sleep and then first thing when I woke up. She was on my mind all day, even when I went to the lake and was around all of Gabbi¡¯s hot friends. I always hooked up with one of them. But not today because she was the only one on my mind.


    Jake says I should stay away from her but I don¡¯t think I can. And I know I don¡¯t want to try.Advertisement


    I had no idea he thought about me so much so soon. We had just met. I probably would have freaked out and thought he was a psycho if I had known.


    June 10th


    I¡¯m writing this a day late, but that¡¯s because my eyes were too swollen to see anything last night after the pepper spray incident. Another story for another time. Right now, I only want to write about her...Doll Face.


    I saw her again at Danes¡¯ party and asked her to leave with me. I almost shit my pants when she said ¡®yes.¡¯ Good thing I didn¡¯t. I had no idea where I would take a classy chick like her, but we drove by the fairgrounds and she told me that no one had ever taken her before. It made me sad that she didn¡¯t have that simple kind of memory from her childhood so I decided to take her. It was fun acting like a kid with her and I hoped she didn¡¯t think it was a lame date. (I¡¯m calling it a date even if she didn¡¯t.) I wanted to kiss her on the Ferris wheel. It would have been so perfect if she hadn¡¯t just finished telling me for a second time how she didn¡¯t want a guy like me. Am I really that unlovable? Maybe not because I did get a kiss from her later last night and it was perfect.


    I thought everything was going great until Dad came in from taking her home. I don¡¯t know what happened, but he doesn¡¯t want me to see her anymore. He can forget that shit because I¡¯m into this girl big time.


    No. You¡¯re not the least bit unlovable. You were very easy to love.


    June 12th


    Like the song, Payton Archer is tbtf and I¡¯m falling for her. That¡¯s all I¡¯ve got.


    Tbtf? What was that? I guess I¡¯d have to urban dictionary it.


    I had no idea he felt this way so fast.


    June 14th


    It¡¯s official. I have my first girlfriend. And I taught her how to shoot my Glock. I hope this combination doesn¡¯t prove to be a lethal one for me. I should be fine. I think she likes my titillating details too much to shoot me.


    She certainly likes to scream my name. I like it, too. Very much.


    Ginny loves her. And I do, too.


    Yes, sir. Nick is a very talented young man. I certainly do like his titillating details very much and how he used them to make me scream his name. I would love to scream his name again.


    June 15th


    I didn¡¯t see Payton today and it sucked. I miss her.


    I bet it sucked for me then too because I know for sure it sucked right now.


    June 16th


    I took my girl to the strip to show her off tonight. I saw Samantha Hodges there and I was afraid of what she might say to Payton. She¡¯s had this psychotic habit of trying to run off other girls I¡¯ve been with. Payton didn¡¯t mention her, so I guess Samantha finally got the picture.


    I¡¯m in love with Payton but I¡¯m scared to tell her. I¡¯ve never loved a girl before and it¡¯s scary as hell.


    I¡¯m a sitting duck waiting for her to figure out what a son of a bitch I¡¯ve been. When she does, there¡¯s no way she¡¯ll stick around. My mom didn¡¯t so why would I expect her to?


    I didn¡¯t mention that psychotic bitch because me and my smart ass mouth took care of her and because I didn¡¯t want to tell you the things she said to me. I think I would have thrown up if I would have felt those words roll off my tongue.


    You shouldn¡¯t have been scared to tell me. I loved you, too. I still do.


    You''re not a son of a bitch.


    I didn¡¯t stick around because I couldn¡¯t. And you know why.


    June 17th


    I don¡¯t like it when Payton¡¯s parents are home. I¡¯m ready for them to go away again.


    Me, too, Nick.


    June 18th


    They¡¯re still here. Go away already.


    My, my. Someone was anxious.


    June 19th


    They still haven¡¯t gone anywhere and I need to see my Payton now. She¡¯s coming to Dad¡¯s banquet with me tomorrow night but that¡¯s still too far away.


    I have something special planned so we can have some alone time. It seems like it¡¯s been forever since we were alone.


    I¡¯ve decided it¡¯s time to tell her how I feel. I¡¯m terrified like I¡¯m standing on the ledge of a building about to jump and I have no idea if my parachute will open.


    My fingers are crossed. I pray she feels the same.


    Why were you so scared, you silly boy? I was standing by your side ready to jump with you.


    June 20th


    Tonight was a total disaster. Thanks a lot, Vivian.


    Payton was upset about finding her mom w/ another man. I wanted to make it better for her, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn¡¯t even hold her in my arms because she had to go home to deal with her mama drama.


    A child shouldn¡¯t have to deal with a parent¡¯s mess. I guess Payton and I have that much in common.


    I didn¡¯t get to tell her I loved her. I hope she already knows.


    Payton¡¯s blow up with her mom was enough to send her to her aunt and uncle¡¯s house. I don¡¯t know what this means for her or for us and it scares me.


    Oh, Nick. Ignorance can be so bliss.


    June 21st


    I just spent the most glorious 24 hours of my life with Payton. All I wanted was to be with her and tell her how much I loved her, but she exceeded any expectations I had.


    It was her first time to make love. Theoretically, it was my first time, too. I¡¯ve been saving my heart for someone, but I didn¡¯t know who that person was until I met her. She isn¡¯t just another one. She is THE one.


    Oh, and I saw my mother for the first time in 13 years. It paled in comparison to what I just shared with Payton.


    There¡¯s no feeling in the world better than being THE one for Nick. It¡¯s really too bad it didn¡¯t last because when it was good, it was really good.


    Jun 22nd


    My mother did something to make Vivian accept our relationship. Sort of. She doesn¡¯t accept us, but she does tolerate us. But it¡¯s ok. I don¡¯t care what my mother did as long as I¡¯m with Payton.


    She knows the me no one else on earth knows and I love her for it.


    Do I really know the Nick no one else on earth knows? I thought I did, but then our little world came tumbling down and now I don¡¯t think I knew you at all.


    June 23rd


    I told Payton I wanted to marry her. I do. If she needed me to be something besides a cop, I would do it for her. I would change my entire world just to make her smile.


    She must have liked it when I told her I would change my world for her because she took me in the pool house and rocked mine.


    I want this girl forever.


    I loved that he would change his world for me, so I rocked his and he loved it. So did I.


    Even if he would change his world for me, it¡¯s too bad he couldn¡¯t change the past. Getting that girl pregnant and messing with Samantha Hodges ended a beautiful thing.


    I closed the journal and put it on my bedside table. Reading Nick¡¯s journal wasn¡¯t accomplishing what Dallas thought it would. Maybe I should stop because it was only causing me more pain.


    I finished off my glass of Riesling and stared at the black leather book beside me. It called to me like a siren of the sea. I couldn¡¯t stop now. I¡¯d always wish I had read it all, even if it was painful. I needed the closure.


    June 30th


    Payton came for her cooking lesson with Ginny today. I may have suggested Ginny teach Payton how to make chicken and dumplings since they are my favorite. It¡¯s only right that my favorite girl know how to cook them for me since I plan on keeping her around forever.


    I wanted to be around forever. I wanted to learn how to cook all of your favorite meals, but you ruined that for us. Maybe Samantha can cook your chicken and dumplings for you now.


    July 10th


    I¡¯ve been thinking about my mother a lot lately but I haven¡¯t told anyone. Not even Payton and I tell her everything. I sort of want to see her again. I love the way she took care of Payton but it hurts me to know she did when she left her own 3 children motherless, only 1 town over.


    I might ask Payton to go to her house with me, but it would kill me if she didn¡¯t want to see me. It would be like feeling that fresh pain all over again.


    She knows how to get in touch with me. I guess she will if she wants to see me. Then again, she¡¯s known for the last 13 years.


    Oh, Nick. I had no idea. I wish you had told me.


    July 14th


    Dallie is getting so close, so fast to Dane. I¡¯m not sure I like it, but I don¡¯t guess I have much room to say anything after the whirlwind romance between me and Payton. We fell in love in all of what? 2 minutes.


    I guess I¡¯m being the overprotective big brother, but it¡¯s my job to worry about my baby sister. Dallie hasn¡¯t had much female influence in her life other than Ginny. Hopefully, that will all be changing since Payton is around so much now.


    I¡¯d kill Dane if he got Dallie pregnant.


    I guess that¡¯s what Jessie thinks about me.


    I¡¯ll be the one to kill Dane if he gets Dallas pregnant.


    July 16th


    Payton can still scream my name. Really loud. We were in my room and I wasn¡¯t sure when anyone would come home so I put my hand over her mouth.


    She bit me. Funny thing about that? I liked it.


    The not so funny thing about it? Ginny came in the house and heard us. She knew what we were doing. She waited until Payton was gone to ask me if we were being careful. For future reference: Having the sex talk with your grandmother is not cool. Really.


    I¡¯m not telling Payton what Ginny asked me. She would be mortified. She¡¯d probably never want to come back for cooking lessons and I need that girl to know how to cook if I¡¯m keeping her forever. I love good food.


    Don¡¯t be so dramatic. It was just a gentle love bite. Maybe.


    I liked it, too. And also what you did to make me scream your name. I wish you could do it again.

 Page 39

    You¡¯re right. I would have died if I had known Ginny heard us. Good call, Nick.Advertisement


    July 20th


    I did the wrong thing to the right girl. Or at least I was told I did.


    Today started out great with Payton at my house for her weekly cooking lesson with Ginny. But then the shit hit the fan. And it slung it all over the room.


    A girl showed up at my house and told me I had a kid. A one month-old. She never even told me if it was a boy or a girl. I just thought about that.


    I didn¡¯t recall ever seeing this girl before in my life, but that doesn¡¯t mean it didn¡¯t happen. It¡¯s not the baby¡¯s fault and I know what it¡¯s like to be thrown away by a parent so I couldn¡¯t do that if this kid was mine.


    I didn¡¯t have a choice. I had to tell Payton. I could have lied about it until the DNA test came back. If the kid turned out to not be mine, then she never had to know, but I couldn¡¯t do that to her.


    She was devastated and it killed me to see that pain in her eyes.


    I know what she was thinking because I was thinking the same. This kid just crushed our dreams.


    I could give up any hope of her marrying me if this kid was mine. I could probably give up any hope of that even if it wasn¡¯t. She was scared it would happen again and who was I kidding? It could happen again.


    She said she was going to be with someone else so I could know the pain she was feeling. What could I say about it if she did? I¡¯d been with too many to count. An unidentifiable number. Isn¡¯t that what she called it?


    She came to find me at the pool hall, but why? Did she come there to pick up somebody or did she come so we could work things out? I don¡¯t guess it matters because Samantha saw her walk in and she jumped in my lap and put her tongue down my throat for Payton to see. Psychotic Bitch. I can only imagine how that must have looked to Payton. She didn¡¯t believe me when I tried to explain. Could I blame her? Then again I was drunk as a skunk. I¡¯m not sure how good of a job I did at explaining.


    I don¡¯t really remember what I told her. Something about wanting to put babies inside her seem to ring a bell for some reason. God, that was not the right thing to say to your girlfriend when another girl just showed up on your doorstep claiming to have had your kid. Except Payton wasn¡¯t my girlfriend anymore. She was leaving me over this. And I can¡¯t say I blamed her.


    She deserved so much better than me. She now knew me for the son of a bitch I was and she left just like I knew she would.


    But here¡¯s the part where we slam on the breaks for what happened next.


    The whole thing was bogus. I never met that chick. Samantha fabricated it all, including the part Payton saw in the pool hall, to break us up. And it worked like a charm. And now I have no way of proving any of this to Payton other than my word and that of my 2 drunk buddies.


    I¡¯m screwed. I saw the hurt in her eyes.


    She¡¯s not going to forgive me for this thing I didn¡¯t do.


    Oh, god. He didn¡¯t get that girl pregnant and he didn¡¯t want that psychotic bitch. All of this was her doing and I was blind to all of it because I was so stubborn. He knew I wouldn¡¯t take his word for it. What have I done, Nick?


    July 25th


    Vivian enjoyed telling me Payton was with Cooper and it broke my heart.


    That¡¯s a bold faced lie. I am not with Cooper. I told him we would never get back together. My mother is a total bitch.


    July 30th


    Dallas says I can¡¯t stay drunk for the rest of my life. I beg to differ.


    I, too, have done my fair share of getting drunk since we broke up.


    August 1st


    My blood is drowning in alcohol. So is my brain. It¡¯s the only way I don¡¯t constantly think about the way I screwed up with the only girl I¡¯ve ever loved.


    Oh, Nick. What are you doing to yourself?


    August 4th


    My dad thinks I need help or something. I do. It¡¯s called Payton Archer.


    I¡¯m so sorry for leaving.


    August 6th


    I¡¯ve got to start classes tomorrow so I¡¯ve decided to smile because it¡¯s the easiest way to hide the pain and I¡¯ll act like losing Payton wasn¡¯t a big deal when it really broke my heart. It¡¯s what everyone wants because it¡¯ll make them feel better.


    I¡¯m doing it for them, not me.


    Please, smile again. I miss your dimples.


    August 7th


    These are my own private thoughts and if I¡¯m going to wuss out in this journal, I might as well do a bang up job at it. (That¡¯s one of Payton¡¯s words I love so much.)


    I¡¯m hollow without her. I want to beg her back but I know it would be wasted breath. She hates me. But I still love her.


    I wish I could just stop loving her the way she stopped loving me but then I hate myself for even having those kind of thoughts. I don¡¯t want to stop loving her.


    Writing this down is the only reason I don¡¯t lose my mind entirely. I can¡¯t say these things to anyone.


    Jessie says I need to talk to Claire¡¯s mom but I can¡¯t. This is my only way of confessing the way I feel.


    I love you, too, Nick. I never stopped even when I thought the worse of you. Please, don¡¯t stop loving me. I was wrong.


    August 10th


    I got a new tattoo today. I wish I could show it to Payton, but I can¡¯t because she¡¯s not here. And she won¡¯t ever be again.


    I will be. And I can¡¯t wait to see your new tattoo. I wish you had described it.


    August 15th


    I couldn¡¯t shake the need to see my mother again so I called her today. We¡¯re meeting tomorrow. It¡¯s scary, but not near as much as thinking about spending the rest of my life without Payton. God, I miss her.


    I didn¡¯t know you saw Tillie. She never mentioned it.


    August 16th


    I met my mother at a restaurant in Collinsville today. I got to hear her version of how things happened. It wasn¡¯t pretty, but I¡¯m glad to know the truth.


    Just when I think I can¡¯t begin to understand how she walked away from us, I think about the things I would do if Payton asked me to and I find that I shouldn¡¯t be too critical or judgmental because I would do anything Payton asked of me.


    Payton was right. She blackmailed Vivian about her affair with David so we could be together. I said it wouldn¡¯t change the way I felt about her, but I was wrong. She helped us be together, so how could I hate her?


    She wants to see Jake and Dallas. I¡¯m going to ask them for her, but Jake will refuse because he was so angry when Dad told him she lived so close. I think Dallas will agree. She doesn¡¯t remember her and if nothing else, she would want to see her out of curiosity.


    My mother says Payton is at UT and she hasn¡¯t seen her in a few weeks. I found out Vivian lied to me about Payton and Cooper. They didn¡¯t get back together. I was happy to hear that, but it only means she¡¯s on the market for someone else to have.


    It would kill me to see her with someone else.


    I hope seeing Tillie helped you. I¡¯m glad you know the truth about me and Cooper. And I¡¯m not on the market. My heart belongs to you and no other.


    August 22th


    I¡¯m settling into classes and it¡¯s helping me take my mind off Payton. A little.


    Luke and Justin talked me into going out with them tonight. They told me I needed to get laid to forget about Payton. I would try it if I thought it would work.


    No. No. No. Don¡¯t do that, Nick. Please.


    August 23rd


    We went to the club last night. I danced with some girls, but none of them held a candle to Payton. There was one that reminded me of her though. She wasn¡¯t near as beautiful and she was soft spoken. Nothing like my Payton.


    I don¡¯t guess I can call her that anymore. She isn¡¯t my Payton.


    This girl liked me. A lot. She asked me to leave the club with her so I did.


    No! No! No! I slammed the journal shut and threw it across the room. It slammed against the wall and fell opened on the floor. I couldn¡¯t do it. I couldn¡¯t read about him being with another girl.


    This was my fault. I shouldn¡¯t have left him. He was sleeping with other girls because I was too stubborn to hear him out. He was innocent all along.


    I put my arms around my legs and started rocking. I did this to myself and now I had to deal with the consequences. I looked at Nick¡¯s journal on the floor and walked over to pick it up. I had to own this pain to get past it. Knowing the truth wouldn¡¯t be as bad as imagining far worst.


    I picked it up and read that last line again before I continued.


    She asked me to leave the club with her so I did.


    I went back to her apartment with her because I thought it would help me forget Payton. But it didn¡¯t. Nothing ever does.


    She didn¡¯t even expect romantic stuff. It had been so long since I had been with a girl other than Payton, I had forgotten how some of them could be. She was stripping her clothes off like we were about to close some kind of business transaction. She was pissed when I told her I couldn¡¯t sleep with her because my heart belonged to someone and it wasn¡¯t her.


    Thank, god! I breathed a sigh of relief, the first breath I had taken since I started reading this entry. And I¡¯m glad she was pissed.


    September 11th


    Today is my sweet Payton¡¯s birthday. I can call her that if I want to. We¡¯re not together and I can¡¯t give it to her but I still bought the ring I had been saving for. I even got it engraved on the inside just like I planned. ¡°You and No Other.¡±


    I don¡¯t know what I¡¯ll do with it. I guess I¡¯ll stare at it every day and think about how I let the only girl I¡¯ll ever want to marry slip through my fingers.


    He bought me a ring? What kind of ring? One that you¡¯d engrave You and No Other inside. I think it¡¯s an engagement ring since he says I¡¯m the only girl he¡¯ll ever want to marry. I have to know. I have to see him. Now.


    The sun wasn¡¯t up yet but it would be by the time I got ready and made it to Collinsville. I had to see him. I had to tell him how much I loved him and how wrong I was.


    I went to my room to shower and I got ready. I let my hair go curly the way he liked it and I put on the sundress I wore when he took me to dinner after we made love for the first time. I hoped he recognized it and remembered.

 Page 40

    When I was ready to go, I softly knocked on Claire¡¯s door. I heard stirring and smiled to myself because I knew she was putting on clothes. ¡°Come in.¡±Advertisement


    I eased the door open and Jessie was still asleep. I motioned with my finger for her to come out so we didn¡¯t wake him up.


    She saw Nick¡¯s journal in my hand. ¡°You read it?¡±


    I clutched it to my heart. ¡°Yes. Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have, but I did and I¡¯ve been so wrong about him. I have to go to him. Now.¡±


    She looked out her window and then at the clock. ¡°It¡¯s still dark. Why don¡¯t you wait until it¡¯s light outside.¡±


    She wasn¡¯t winning this argument. ¡°It¡¯ll be light by the time I get to his house. I can¡¯t stand to be without him another minute. I¡¯ll burst if I stay here. It¡¯s only a two hour drive and I want to be there when he wakes up.¡±


    ¡°I can see it doesn¡¯t matter what I want you to do. You¡¯re going to do whatever you want.¡±


    ¡°Tell me something I don¡¯t know.¡±


    31 In The Middle Of Shallow


    Nick


    I drank way too much whiskey so my head was freakin¡¯ pounding and whoever was blowing up my phone wasn¡¯t helping matters. I reached over to silence the thing because I was in no mood to talk to anyone, especially at eight o¡¯clock in the morning after the drunk I pulled.


    A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock on my door. Shit! Could I not be left in peace for one minute? ¡°What?¡±


    Dallas opened my door and something about the look on her face wasn¡¯t right. She wouldn¡¯t be coming into my room on a Saturday morning this early. I lifted my head to look at her and she had her phone in her hand. She didn¡¯t say a word. She just handed it to me and I could only assume she meant for me to answer it.


    ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°Nick, it¡¯s Claire.¡±


    Please, no. My heart sank because I immediately knew something had happened to Payton and I shot up in the bed. ¡°What¡¯s happened to her?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. She left four hours ago coming to your house and she¡¯s not answering her phone. She was supposed to call when she got to your house and I haven¡¯t heard from her. She should have made it to your house by six o¡¯clock. Maybe even earlier because there wouldn¡¯t have been much traffic. I¡¯m scared.¡±


    ¡°Okay, Dallas will start calling all the hospitals between us and I¡¯ll get my dad up. He can get some units to help patrol the area looking for her car. I want you to start driving this direction on the route she would have taken. I¡¯ll drive in your direction from this side.¡±


    ¡°Okay. There¡¯s two ways she could have gone. I¡¯ll take one and Jessie will take the other.¡±


    I hung up and handed Dallas¡¯ phone to her. She took it from me but stood frozen as I got up to get dressed. ¡°Nick, this is all my fault.¡±


    I went to my closet to grab a shirt. ¡°How could this possibly be your fault?¡±


    I pulled my undershirt over my head and started tucking it in my jeans. ¡°I went to Knoxville last night to see Payton.¡±


    ¡°Why did you do that?¡±


    I could see the tears collecting in her eyes. ¡°To convince her you should be together.¡±


    ¡°I love you, Sis and I appreciate what you did.¡± I kissed the top of her head. ¡°But this isn¡¯t your fault.¡±


    The tears collecting in her eyes spilled down her cheeks. ¡°But, it is.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll talk about it later. Right now, I just need to find Payton and make sure she¡¯s okay.¡±


    Dad immediately sprung into cop mode and had units patrolling for Payton¡¯s car before I even left the house.


    I got in my car and for the first time in a long time, I started praying. I love her so much. Please, let her be okay. Please place your protection around her and keep her safe. She means everything to me.


    I was almost out of Collinsville when I got a call from my dad. ¡°A unit found her car on the side of the road, but it¡¯s been abandoned. Looks like she had a blowout in a rural stretch so her phone probably wasn¡¯t getting a signal.¡±


    And she was too impatient to wait. That was Payton. ¡°How far from us?¡±


    ¡°Sounds like it¡¯s that stretch on Highway 67 after you leave Collinsville and get into Shallow.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll drive from this direction and the squad car can drive from that direction and one of us should find her.¡± God, I prayed one of us found her and she didn¡¯t get picked up by some lunatic.


    Please, show me what I¡¯m looking for. I drove down Highway 67 about 10 miles and saw what I thought was her in the distance. I sped up, anxious to confirm her safety, and saw her walking with hellacious heels in one hand and something I couldn¡¯t identify in the other.


    When I came to a stop in front of her, she lifted her skirt and stuck out her long leg and gave me the hitchhiker¡¯s thumb with a big smile on her face.


    I jumped out of my car and ran to meet her in a dramatic reunion in the middle of Highway 67 in Shallow, Tennessee. That¡¯s when the potential severity of the situation hit me, along with my tears of relief.


    I grabbed her face and stared at it because it had been too long since I saw it. ¡°I could beat your ass right now. Do you hear me?¡± I pulled her into my arms and squeezed her way too hard. ¡°You scared the shit out of me. Why are you out here this time of the morning?¡±


    Tears were streaming down her face by handfuls. ¡°I had to see you. I was wrong, so very wrong and I had to tell you the minute I figured it out.¡±


    ¡°What caused this revelation for you to drive to my house at four o¡¯clock in the morning?¡±


    ¡°This.¡± She held out my journal. ¡°And I¡¯m not sorry I read it. It told me everything I needed to know. Everything I should have already known.¡±


    ¡°Where did you get this?¡± And then it clicked for me what my sister meant. ¡°Dallas. She gave it to you.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be mad at her. She did it because she loves you so much and knew it was the only way I¡¯d see the truth. Can you ever forgive me for being so stupid?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing to forgive.¡± I leaned in for the kiss I thought I¡¯d never have again and I felt her smile against my mouth. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I want to see your newest tattoo. You didn¡¯t describe it at all and I¡¯m dying of curiosity.¡±


    I lifted my shirt and showed her the infinity symbol with her name entwined within it. She reached out to touch it and all those familiar feelings emerged from under the surface.


    ¡°I love it. I want one just like it with your name.¡± She pointed to the place over her heart. ¡°I want it right here for your eyes only.¡±


    My name tattooed over her heart sounded like the best idea I¡¯d heard in a long time. ¡°I think that can be arranged.¡±


    ¡°And now I want my birthday present.¡±


    She wasn¡¯t kidding when she said she read my journal. ¡°You do, huh?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I want it now.¡±


    I had it with me. I always had it with me so I could look at it and be reminded of her. ¡°Well, what if I had it in my pocket? Would you want me to give it to you right here in the middle of Shallow?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    I pulled the black leather box from my pocket and balanced on my palm. ¡°Is this the birthday present you¡¯re talking about?¡±


    She licked her lips. ¡°I believe that could be it.¡±


    I dropped down to my knee and then reached up to pop the top. She saw the ring I had saved to buy and I watched as her eyes filled with tears. ¡°Payton Caroline Archer, will you be my wife?¡±


    ¡°Yes, Nickolas Aleksei Hawke, I will marry you.¡±


    I took the diamond engagement ring from the box and slid it on her left ring finger. ¡°And will you let me put babies inside you and watch them grow?¡±


    She burst into laughter, remembering what I had told her I wanted to do the night we broke up. ¡°Yes and I¡¯ll even let you practice first. A lot.¡±


    ¡°God, I love you. You¡¯re gonna be the best wife ever.¡±


    ¡°Damn skippy.¡±


    Epilogue


    3 Years Later


    Payton


    I couldn¡¯t believe it was time. We had waited for months and it was finally here.


    I reached over and shook Nick¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Baby, wake up.¡±


    He rolled away from me onto his stomach and put his face into his pillow. ¡°No, woman. I just pulled a double and I¡¯m tired. I want to sleep.¡±


    I shook him again. ¡°Get up. It¡¯s time.¡±


    He groaned. ¡°Time for what?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s baby time. We need to go the hospital.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re kiddin¡¯ me, right? The baby is choosing to come now?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Get your ass up.¡±


    We got in the car and I¡¯d never known Nick to drive so slow. For the love of God, he used to race every chance he got and now he was a cop. He could speed if he wanted to and he had an excuse to get a move on. Did he need me to put a flame under his ass or what? There was a baby on the way.


    We walked up to the front desk. ¡°Claire Boone¡¯s room, please.¡±


    We waited as the receptionist looked her up in the computer. ¡°Looks like she¡¯s in Labor and Delivery Room 117. Go through those double doors and it will be down the hall to the left.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t believe it. Our best friends were having a baby. It wasn¡¯t planned, but sometimes the best things weren¡¯t.


    We walked toward Claire¡¯s room and I was so excited I went down the wrong hall. Nick stopped and pointed in the right direction. ¡°Baby, your other left.¡±


    We got to the door ready to knock and I heard a baby cry. No way. She had just called me an hour ago to tell me she was at the hospital. There¡¯s no way she had already had the baby.


    My ears perked up. ¡°That was a baby crying.¡±


    Nick didn¡¯t seemed enthused. ¡°I think you can expect to hear that kind of thing around here.¡±


    ¡°No, I think it came from Claire¡¯s room.¡±

 Page 41

    ¡°I don¡¯t know anything about having babies, but that would be awfully fast for a first, wouldn¡¯t it?¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Yeah. Like record time, but Claire does everything perfectly so I would expect no less from her when it comes to giving birth.¡±


    I lightly knocked on the door and heard Claire¡¯s soft voice. ¡°Come in.¡±


    I peeked around the door first to make sure we wouldn¡¯t be walking in on her doing that spread eagle thing or whatever position it was they put you in when you pushed out a baby. ¡°All clear?¡±


    ¡°Yes, get yourself in here so you can see our little addition.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t believe what my eyes were seeing and I felt the tears coming. Claire was holding a tiny little baby in her arms while Jessie stood over her admiring his work.


    ¡°Omigod, Claire. I can¡¯t believe it¡¯s already here.¡±


    I streaked over to her bedside and looked down at her new bundle of joy. I still couldn¡¯t believe they chose to not find out what the baby was when she had her ultrasound. ¡°Tell me. Boy or girl?¡±


    ¡°Guess.¡±


    I had declared it a boy from the second Claire freaked out about being pregnant, but now I wasn¡¯t so sure. I looked down and tried to decide if I thought the baby looked like a he or she, but I could only distinguish one thing from that sweet face. It was Jessie Boone¡¯s mini-me.


    Although the baby looked just like Jessie, there was something too pretty about her to be a boy and that¡¯s when I decided. ¡°That¡¯s a girl face. She¡¯s too pretty to be a stinkin¡¯ boy.¡±


    Claire couldn¡¯t take her eyes off of her. ¡°She sure is.¡±


    Nick shook Jessie¡¯s hand and did that half masculine hug thing. ¡°Congratulations. You¡¯re a dad, Boone. That¡¯s freaky.¡±


    ¡°It happened so fast, I haven¡¯t had time to absorb it all. Her water broke and she was all calm and everything. We didn¡¯t get in any kind of hurry about getting here because we thought it would take hours but then some really bad pains started. By the time we got here, she was almost ready.¡±


    ¡°Omigod, did you get your epidural?¡±


    ¡°No, I was eight centimeters when we got here and it all happened too fast. Girl, let me tell you...that pain ain¡¯t no joke. Ooh, it burned like a mutha. I thought my vajayjay was on fire. It¡¯s probably better you weren¡¯t here. I would have scared you into never having any.¡±


    I did not need to be hearing that right now.


    ¡°Where are your parents?¡±


    ¡°You just missed them. I can¡¯t believe you didn¡¯t meet them in the hall carrying Ozzy and Harley. Those two immediately sacked out after the excitement of seeing her was over, so they took them home.¡±


    Now that we knew it was a girl, it was time to choose a name. ¡°So, what are you naming this beautiful little princess?¡±


    ¡°We talked about Finley Elizabeth, but I¡¯m still not sure. I need to look at her a little longer to make sure it fits.¡±


    That was a great name. ¡°I like it. She can pull off Finley.¡±


    ¡°You wanna hold her?¡±


    I guess I should get used to it. ¡°Absolutely. She needs to get familiar with her Aunt Pate.¡±


    I took Baby Finley from Claire and looked down at her beautiful little round face. I unconsciously began to sway as I spoke softly to her and touched her soft cheek to mine. I guess it was the innate thing to do but I was still surprised when I caught myself doing it because I had never been around babies and I certainly didn¡¯t get a nurturing instinct from my mother.


    There was no question about it. This was what I wanted.


    We didn¡¯t stay near as long as I would have liked, but Claire and Jessie needed bonding time with Finley before she had to go to the nursery.


    Nick and I didn¡¯t talk much on the ride home and I wasn¡¯t sure if it was because he was avoiding the baby talk or because he was still tired. I hoped it was the latter.


    It was still night and I knew he was exhausted from working so many hours so I let him go to bed instead of starting the conversation that scared the hell out of me.


    There was nothing on television so I cut it off and softly slid into bed beside my husband. I turned on my side away from him so I wouldn¡¯t disturb his sleep and I felt his arm snake around my waist and pull me against him.


    ¡°I can¡¯t sleep. I guess being up so long has given me my second wind.¡± He kissed the back of my neck and rubbed his hand over my belly. ¡°You want me to practice putting a baby in there?¡±


    That had been our little joke we had shared for three years and I wondered what he was gonna say when I told him it couldn¡¯t be called practicing anymore because he had succeeded in putting one there.


    The timing wasn¡¯t perfect. I had another year before I got my BS in interior design and I knew he wanted it to be the two of us for a while longer. At least that¡¯s what he said when I told him Claire was pregnant. That had been several months ago. I hoped time had changed his mind or maybe seeing Finley stirred something different in him.


    I was nervous. I was afraid he would think I had done it on purpose so Claire and I could have babies together. I didn¡¯t, but I was happy about it and I wanted him to be, too.


    I rolled over to face him and he hitched my leg over his hip. He rubbed his hand up the back of my thigh to my panties and slid his hand underneath. ¡°I love to get into these.¡±


    He kissed my neck as he pulled my nightgown up and over my head. That familiar stirring presented itself and I decided to ride it out one last time before I told Nick about the baby.


    Three years together and he could still make me scream his name. He was the best husband ever.


    We lay silent in the dark and he was rubbing his hand back and forth over my belly so I decided that was my sign to tell him. ¡°I admire the way you have been such a diligent student in your baby making studies, Mr. Hawke, but there comes a time in every student¡¯s life when he must fail or graduate.¡±


    ¡°Are you telling me I¡¯m getting an ¡®F¡¯ in your class?¡±


    ¡°No, you¡¯re definitely not getting an ¡®F.¡¯ You¡¯re graduating with a 4.0. And honors.¡±


    ¡°What are we talking about?¡±


    ¡°Mr. Hawke, you¡¯ve mastered your craft. You can no longer practice putting a baby in me because you¡¯ve successfully done it already.¡±


    I cringed as I waited for his response. I felt the bed shift as he reached over to turn on the lamp. Our bedroom was dimly lit and he spun around to look at me and then to my naked belly.


    He scooted over next to me and curiously reached his hand out to place it over the spot where our baby currently resided. ¡°Everything I¡¯ve ever done to get a rush doesn¡¯t even come close to comparing to the one I¡¯m feeling right now.¡±


    He put his mouth on my stomach and kissed it. ¡°Our baby is inside you right there.¡± He gazed up at me. ¡°God, I love you. You¡¯re the best wife ever.¡±


    He crawled up my body to kiss me. ¡°And you¡¯re the best husband ever. Now, make me scream your name again.¡±


    No regrets in love. Ever.