《Cooper (Corps Security #4)》 Page 1 Prologue ¨C Asher ¡°Come on, Coop,¡± I whisper. It¡¯s dark in the closet, but I can still make out his huddled form in the back corner. ¡°Come on, Coop. Please. Mom will be back soon and you know she¡¯s gonna be mad if she hears us.¡±Advertisement I shift my body so he can see the cracker box I grabbed from the barren kitchen. Mom never brings us food anymore. I¡¯m lucky that my best friend, Joel, lives close and shares his snacks with us or we wouldn¡¯t eat. He doesn¡¯t ask questions. Not anymore. ¡°I¡¯m scared, Ash.¡± I ball up my fist when I hear his broken and weak voice. My brother is so small. I just turned ten last week, but I¡¯m bigger. I know Coop is small because he is always scared. Too scared to come out of the closet our mom always makes us stay in. ¡°We gotta hurry. Move over, ¡®kay?¡± ¡°¡¯Kay.¡± His weak voice cracks. ¡°Are you still cold?¡± I question. ¡°Yeah,¡± he replies weakly. When I get to the back of the closet, closing the door tightly behind me, I reach out and hand Coop the box. It only has seven crackers in it. They¡¯re old, and I had to get a few roaches out of the box before I brought it back. Coop doesn¡¯t like the bugs that live in the kitchen. ¡°Don¡¯t you want some?¡± He holds the box my way, and even though my stomach rumbles, I shake my head no. ¡°You need some too, Ash,¡± he tries again. ¡°I¡¯m okay, Coop. I had some before I brought them back. You gotta hurry before mom gets home, okay?¡± He nods his head and starts to eat sluggishly. I grab one of the bottles of water Joel gave me last week and hand it to him. His head falls to rest against my shoulder while he takes turns eating and drinking slowly. He¡¯s getting weaker. He couldn¡¯t get up this morning to go to school. He just kept sleeping, so I stayed home. Mom didn¡¯t even notice. I could hear her throwing up this morning. She¡¯s always throwing up. And drinking the nasty stuff. I don¡¯t know how long we have been sitting here when I hear the front door bang shut and the sounds of feet stomping around the house. Coop drops the crackers and pulls his legs up to his chest. ¡°Zachariah Cooper! Where in the hell are you, you little shit?!¡± Oh crap. This isn¡¯t going to be good. ¡°Ash,¡± he quivers. ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay.¡± I grab some of the old blankets we sleep on and throw them over Coop. I can hear him whimpering when I crawl over to the door and crack it open. I know she¡¯s coming. She wouldn¡¯t miss this chance to show Coop how much she hates him. But I won¡¯t let her. No. I¡¯m a big boy now, and I won¡¯t let her hurt my brother anymore. I hate seeing Coop scared. I¡¯m already standing in the middle of the bedroom when she rounds the corner, her yucky clothes that don¡¯t cover her private parts on and her face smudged with old makeup¡ªI know she¡¯s going to be really mean today. ¡°Where is that little shit? He didn¡¯t go to school again today. Both of you little shits decided to stay home, and now I¡¯ve got the school poking around, asking questions!¡± She tries to get around me, but with her tall shoes on, she can¡¯t move quick enough. That¡¯s all the distraction I need for her to focus her attention on me and not on Coop. Just where I want it. Right before her hand reaches out and slashes against my face, I promise myself that I will never let anyone hurt my baby brother. Never. Chapter 1 ¨C Asher ¡°Oh, God. Harder. Please, harder.¡± ¡°Quiet,¡± I pant. ¡°Please, Ash,¡± she begs. After releasing the tight grip I have on her slim hips, I trail my palms slowly up her back, watching the skin my hands pass over break out in goose bumps. I brace my knees farther part, and when my fingers curl around her shoulders, I finally let myself take her hard. Take her how she craves. It¡¯s a bruising pace, my balls slapping hard against her wet folds and my hips grinding into her ass. I have to close my eyes when I see her turn her face against the pillow, trying to get a better view, I¡¯m sure. ¡°Oh, Ash¡­just like that, I¡¯m going to come so hard.¡± ¡°Quiet,¡± I remind her. I need her to keep her mouth shut. I need to be able to take my pleasure and selfishly think about the only person I wish I was driving my cock into. The one person whose touch I crave like nothing else I¡¯ve ever craved before whenever I¡¯m around her. ¡°Fuck,¡± I groan. ¡°Yeah. Give it to me, baby.¡± ¡°Not your baby,¡± I spit out. Fuck no. She starts to push up on her knees, meeting me thrust for thrust. I bring one of the hands that I have curled around her shoulder and press down on the small of her back, reminding her of the place she should stay in. ¡°Please let me touch you, Asher. Just let me touch you this time.¡± I smack her ass hard. Her pussy clamps down on my cock and she starts to come. Moving my hand back to her shoulders, I thrust a few more times before I feel my balls start to tighten and the warmth¡ªthat delicious warmth¡ªtravels from the base of my spine, filling my body with the pleasure I¡¯ve been craving right before I feel myself go. ¡°Chelcie¡­¡± I moan. With my eyes closed tight, my hands still curled tightly around her shoulders, and my hips locked into place, I empty myself and pray that this time I won¡¯t need her as fiercely as I have for the last few months. ¡°What in the hell did you just call me?¡± It takes my fog-filled mind a second to clear before I understand what is being asked. The warm body I just took roughly starts to buck, pushing against my hips. I open my eyes and the vision that filled my mind only seconds before is completely different. The straight, blonde hair is gone, having been replaced with bright-red curls. The bronze skin, that lickable and silky skin, was replaced with someone much paler. And when she turns her angry eyes on me, it isn¡¯t the deep-brown eyes I¡¯m used to looking back at me with a mix of compassion and kindness. Nope, I¡¯ve got twin green eyes blazing with unmasked fury. ¡°What in the HELL did you just call me?¡± she asks again. When I don¡¯t answer her right away, she starts to fight. And I mean fight. I get an elbow to the eye, a foot to the thigh, and worst of all, her nails clip my cheek when she slaps me across the face. ¡°I¡¯ve been warming your sheets for the last two months, Asher Cooper, and you just called me another woman¡¯s name? Two months where I thought we were going somewhere and you just did THAT?¡± Page 2 This is probably when I should calm her down. There is nothing worse than a woman who feels used¡­even if that¡¯s exactly what it was. But being that I¡¯m already halfway to wasted and the majority of my brain is still scrambled from just coming hard¡­I don¡¯t think before I open my mouth. ¡°Now let¡¯s calm down, Chrissy.¡±Advertisement ¡°It¡¯s fucking Clarissa, you idiot!¡± she screeches and starts to slap me against the chest. ¡°Jesus Christ, woman. Can you calm the hell down?¡± If anything, she gets a little more fuel with her little fists. I can feel her nails scoring my skin every few slaps. So what do I do? The only thing that makes sense to my liquor-filled mind. I leap off the bed and run. I can hear her scrambling to catch me, but she doesn¡¯t stand a chance. Even drunk off my ass, she wouldn¡¯t catch me. I pass the dresser, snagging my cell off the top before I leap over our discarded clothes and slam the door to the bathroom, turning the lock right as her fists connect with the wood. She must be kicking as well as banging against the wood because the whole frame is vibrating with her fury. ¡°You stupid douchebag!¡± I lose track of everything she screams through the door. Then I can hear her destroying the room. I can hear thuds of the furniture being overturned and glass shattering against the hardwood. I grab the towel I used earlier off the floor, giving it a sniff before wrapping it around my waist. Shit. Okay, I probably deserved a little of that. I¡¯ve been taking Chrissy¡ªno, Clarissa ¡ªthe bartender at Heavy¡¯s, home for the last few months off and on. There was never a promise of a relationship. Hell, every time I¡¯ve taken her home, I¡¯ve been drunk off my ass. Maybe I should have explained a little better to her that all this would ever be is sex. I¡¯m in no damn shape to give myself to anyone. Especially not when the only woman I want is the one who acts like I¡¯ve got the fucking plague whenever I touch her. No, I want one woman, and until I can figure out what has her running scared every time I hint at something more than a friendship, I¡¯m better off with my good friends Jack and Jim. After a few seconds of silence, I take a chance and click the lock, cracking the door open slightly. Peeking around the opening and seeing the room completely trashed is enough of a distraction for the small fist to come flying out of nowhere and smashing right into my already sore eye. ¡°Son of a bitch!¡± I roar. ¡°You got that right, you sorry piece of shit. The next time you want to warm your dick up, why don¡¯t you make an effort to actually remember the name of the body you¡¯re using!¡± She gives me a good shove, and before I can regain my feet, I fall flat on my ass. And the only thing I can think is, How in the hell did I let my life become this? Spying a full bottle of Jack, unbroken, in the chaos that used to be Maddox¡¯s guest room, I pull myself off the floor and, without bothering to get dressed, fall back on the bed. Then I proceed to drink myself into oblivion. Chapter 2¡ªChelcie Crap. How do I lose my keys twice in one week? Ever since I moved into Dee¡¯s old apartment, I swear I¡¯ve been falling apart at the seams. It doesn¡¯t help that everything is changing around me so rapidly that I can¡¯t seem to hold on tight enough. New town. New friends. New home. And¡­the baby. A fresh wave of loss washes through me when I think about the father my child will never know. Shifting my weight, I drop my bags of groceries on the floor, switch my purse to the other arm, and start looking for my phone. ¡°Come on¡­ Where is the damn thing?¡± I mutter to myself, checking each pocket before dropping down to kneel on the carpeted floor and dumping the contents of my purse out. Are you kidding? Gone. My phone is just gone. Careful to steady my balance, I drop lightly on the floor next to my door. I want to cry¡ªI really do¡ªbut I know it won¡¯t change anything. It¡¯s insane how quickly everything can change around you. It could be worse. I know that, but right now¡­ Right now, it feels a hell of a lot like rock bottom. I take a deep breath, resting my hand against my slightly rounded stomach, and blink back the tears that keep threatening to burst through my carefully built wall. It¡¯s only been a few months since I packed up everything I owned and moved to Georgia. It all started when my boss, and good friend, Dee was attacked, leaving me feeling so completely vulnerable and alone that I didn¡¯t know what end was up. Seeing her coming so close to death just did something to me that I can¡¯t explain. I¡¯ve always been strong and independent, but seeing that¡­ It just hit me. I turned to the closest thing I could find to make me feel alive again¡ªthe one and only, Zeke Cooper. He was fun, hilarious, and best of all, a distraction to the mess around me. I¡¯ve never been the type of girl who just hooks up with anyone. I crave stability and love to fall into a man¡¯s bed. But I needed something that he was more than willing to give. I knew the score, and I was okay with it. He wasn¡¯t the type of man a girl goes into anything with hoping that she¡¯ll get the white picket fence and the cookie-cutter house. No, he was the type of man a girl goes to when she needs to escape the world around her. All it took was one night. And then¡­ And then he was taken from everyone. I never imagined that my stalling to tell him that he would be a father meant that he would never know. I just didn¡¯t know how to tell the king of hook-ups that his one-night stand was about to turn into a lifetime of commitments. Now my little one¡¯s father is gone. I never anticipated being a mother. I had a plan. Find a man¡ªa great man, the kind of man who puts you on a pedestal and shows you daily how much he loves you. I wanted the happily ever after that dreams are made of. But more importantly, I knew that I never wanted to raise a child as a single mother. I wanted my children to have the love of both parents. Sighing deeply, I pull myself off the floor, brushing off the stress of situations I have no control over. What¡¯s the point? It¡¯s not going to bring my baby¡¯s father back. The second I climb to my feet, I remember who might be able to help me out of this situation. Maddox. Last I heard¡ªfrom Izzy, who¡¯d heard it from Axel when he was talking to Cage¡ªMaddox was back in town for a little while. He¡¯s been gone for a few weeks trying to talk Emmy into coming home. The poor girl has been going through so much after Coop¡¯s murder that I really don¡¯t see how he¡¯s going to be successful. I hope he is though. Even though I don¡¯t know Emmy that well, she is definitely someone I miss having around. Page 3 Luckily for me, he has a key to my place. One thing that can be said about this little ¡®family¡¯ I¡¯ve come to love: they make sure they have every aspect of each other¡¯s lives covered. It should feel weird that a man I don¡¯t really know all that well has a key to my place, but right now, when all I can think of is getting back into my bed and sleeping for a year, I¡¯m thankful that he does. It doesn¡¯t take me long to make the trek up to Maddox¡¯s top-floor apartment, but by the time I do, my nerves are flying all over the place. I shouldn¡¯t be nervous, but let¡¯s face it, there isn¡¯t anything about Maddox Locke that isn¡¯t insanely intimidating.Advertisement Could be worse. It could be Asher. I quickly dismiss the thought. Asher is the one man who makes me insane¡­with unleashed desire. And the worst part? He¡¯s Zeke Cooper¡¯s brother¡ªand the uncle to my unborn child. We¡¯ve become close over the last few months. I try to keep my lust to a simmer when I¡¯m around him, but he¡¯s just so¡­ God, I don¡¯t even know. He towers over me, probably close to six foot four or so. He isn¡¯t huge like Axel, but there is nothing about him I would call small. No, he is built solid with trim hips and the hottest butt I¡¯ve ever had the pleasure of gawking at. The part that kills me is that he looks so much like his brother. I know they were close in age, but they could have passed as twins. Shaking off the thoughts of Asher Cooper, I come to a stop in front of Maddox¡¯s apartment door and give my breathing a chance to calm down. Just the thought of Asher has my heart rate spiking and my skin feeling flush, which is a testament to how badly I need some attention. I have a feeling that, with my raging hormones, I would start humping his leg if he were around. Jesus, Chelc, get a freaking grip! Sighing deeply, I bring my hand up to knock on Maddox¡¯s door. It takes a second and a few more knocks before the door is swung wide and I¡¯m met with the blue-eyed devil of sex appeal himself, Asher Cooper. Before I can even open my mouth, he¡¯s snarling, ¡°What the hell do you want?¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± I question, stepping back from the waves of anger that are rolling off of him. My skin starts to tingle, and I just know that I¡¯m missing something here. Something feels off. ¡°I said¡­what the hell do you want?¡± It takes me a second, but when he moves to come towards me, I¡¯m hit with the unmistakable smell of heavy liquor. Dammit. Not again. One thing about Asher is that he¡¯s as nice as can be and genuinely a fun guy to be around¡­until he¡¯s drowning his grief in a bottle. Then it¡¯s like he doesn¡¯t even see anything but his pain. ¡°Uh¡­¡± His eyes narrow at my stupid stuttering, and I can tell by his facial expression that, no matter what I say, he¡¯s primed and ready for a fight. ¡°Not a fucking hard question, Sunshine. What the hell do you want? If it¡¯s anything other than lying on your back and spreading those thighs, then I¡¯m not interested.¡± The. Hell? ¡°Uh¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯ve got plenty of this to go around,¡± he arrogantly states while waving his hand over his crotch. ¡°All you need to do is say the word. I¡¯m all about my ladies having some meat on their bones.¡± I can feel my face heat with embarrassment. Yeah, I¡¯m at that awkward stage in my pregnancy where I look like I¡¯ve just had way too much fun at KFC and then went over to the bakery and asked for one of everything. My mind is telling me that he doesn¡¯t mean it, but deep down, it hurts. ¡°How dare you!¡± I squeak¡ªyes, squeak. ¡°What? There isn¡¯t anything to be ashamed of. Your tits though¡­ Damn, now those make up for the extra weight.¡± It¡¯s like my hand just moves without my permission. One second, I¡¯m ready to go hide in a dark hole, and the next, I¡¯m pissed to the brim. When my hand cracks across his cheek, sending his head to the side and shocking us both, I want to take it back, but in the end, I square my shoulders and wait for him to tear me down again. When his eyes come back to mine, the shock of my slap taking some of his drunken buzz away, he just looks at me. I can see each of my fingers shining like neon across his tan skin, causing a wave of distress to hit me. ¡°Did you just slap me?¡± he asks, clearly confused now that he isn¡¯t stuck on drunken-douche mode. ¡°You have got issues, Asher. Serious issues. I have no clue what has you jumping back into the bottle, but I deserve a lot more than your crap.¡± My chest is rising as rapidly as my temper, and all I want to do is take him by the neck and shake the shit out of him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry?¡± ¡°How is it possible for you to forget all that verbal vomit that you just spewed? Well, don¡¯t you worry about it, Ash. When you sober up, maybe then you can come and let the chubby chick know that you¡¯re sorry. All I care about right now is talking to Maddox and finding the spare to my apartment so I can go to bed. I¡¯m tired, and the last thing I want to do is deal with a drunk you.¡± ¡°He isn¡¯t here,¡± he says, still looking at me as if he¡¯s seeing me in some weird light. ¡°Well, isn¡¯t that just great,¡± I mumble. ¡°Hold on. I¡¯ll go get the key.¡± He comes back a few seconds later and mutely hands me a key. I don¡¯t even spare him a glance. I snatch the key and walk away. I can feel my emotions getting the best of me, and the last thing I want is to let him know that he¡¯s hurt my feelings. It¡¯s on the tip of my tongue to tell him exactly what I think of him, but I know he won¡¯t even hear it when he¡¯s this lost. ¡°Hey, Chelcie?¡± I hear right when the elevator door opens. I brush the lone tear from my cheek and turn. ¡°I¡¯m¡­I¡¯m sorry, okay?¡± ¡°Yeah, Asher. So am I.¡± I know he doesn¡¯t mean it. Well, hell, maybe he does. But when he¡¯s drunk, he becomes someone I just don¡¯t want to be around. And I can¡¯t help but wonder if the precarious friendship we have slowly been building was just knocked down because he doesn¡¯t know how to heal from the pain of losing his brother. Chapter 3¡ªChelcie It¡¯s been a week since the awkward showdown with Asher. He hasn¡¯t said anything¡ªneither have I. And to be honest, I¡¯m not sure what there is to say. We aren¡¯t best buddies, and at this point, I don¡¯t even know if we¡¯re friends or if I¡¯m just some stupid girl who¡¯s been trying to find a way to tell him about the baby. Page 4 Sure, there has always been an underlying attraction that just simmers under the surface. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s just one-sided on my end, but sometimes I think that I can see the same heat I feel towards him burning beneath his sapphire eyes. ¡°Chelcie, did you hear me?¡±Advertisement I look over at Dee with a frown. ¡°Uh, sorry. I must have spaced out. I haven¡¯t been sleeping well lately.¡± Her face softens for a second before her eyes narrow in concern. ¡°And why haven¡¯t you been sleeping well? Is everything okay with the baby?¡± ¡°What? Oh, no, the baby is fine. I have my checkup coming in three weeks and we should be able to find out what the gender is,¡± I sigh. ¡°I¡¯m just in a funk. I had a run-in with a drunk Asher last week.¡± Her eyes widen for a second before she lets out a heavy breath. Yeah, everyone knows what drunk Asher means. ¡°Was it that bad?¡± ¡°Well, let¡¯s see. He called me fat. Basically said he would fuck me even though I was chubby, and then when I went to leave, he acted like he didn¡¯t even know why I was pissed. So, yeah, it was pretty bad. It¡¯s just¡­ Now I don¡¯t know how to act.¡± ¡°He did what?¡± she practically shrieks in outrage. Dee turns in her chair and spins so that she is facing my desk. We¡¯ve been working in her home office all day, catching up on some work that we¡¯ve been putting off. I think at this point though, she is just giving me some things to keep my mind busy. She doesn¡¯t really need me as much now that she closed the North Carolina branch of her insurance company. I think we both know that we¡¯re grasping at straws to keep me working for her. ¡°I know. It was pretty brutal, but in his defense, he was really drunk. No, not just drunk¡ªhe was trashed. He didn¡¯t just reek of alcohol, Dee. He looked like he had gone round for round with a cat and lost.¡± I smile a little at the memory. He might have been a giant ass, but I felt a little better knowing that he looked like he was feeling the bad end of the barrel. ¡°I have no idea what the hell happened before his¡­whatever that was between us¡ªbut he looked terrible, Dee.¡± ¡°Chelcie¡ª¡± she starts. I hold my hand up before she can continue. I know what¡¯s coming. It¡¯s the same thing that¡¯s been coming since the day I told her I was pregnant with Coop¡¯s baby. The same thing that will continue to come until I grow some lady balls and tell Asher that I¡¯m pregnant with his late brother¡¯s child. ¡°I know, okay? I know. The longer I wait, the harder it will be for everyone involved. But please tell me how I tell a man who is either drowning in a bottle or sleeping his way through his misery that his brother knocked me up? Huh? Because the first thing he will think is the worst. I just know it. I didn¡¯t ask for this, Dee. I¡¯m thankful that I¡¯ve been given this chance to become a mother¡­but I never asked for this.¡± I end in a whisper, angrily wiping the few stray tears that roll down my cheeks with the back of my hand. I don¡¯t want to be that stupid, weak girl who gets all weepy when shit goes wrong. I¡¯m stronger than that. I refuse to be a backseat driver in my own life. I might not have asked for this¡ªhell, I might not have even wanted this option¡­ever¡ªbut I will be damned if I lie down and live in self-pity. ¡°When he isn¡¯t being a jerk, a whore, or a drunk, he really is such an awesome guy. He¡¯s just so lost right now. If I tell him about the baby, he¡¯s either going to freak out or blame me. I just know it.¡± Dee looks at me with unconcealed pity. It would anger me, but I know she is coming from the right place. It¡¯s a no-win situation, but it¡¯s my no-win situation. I can¡¯t sit here and bitch about it, hoping for her to fix my problems. No, it¡¯s all on me, and it¡¯s time I man up and do something about it. I can¡¯t move on from this hole I¡¯ve seemed to dig for myself until I start to build the ladder to climb back up. And that starts and ends with Asher. ¡°I¡¯m here if you need me, but please tell him soon. I look at him and it¡¯s like looking in the mirror sometimes. He needs something to hold on to, Chelcie. He needs to know that his life is worth more than this misguided path of vengeance and self-destruction.¡± I nod my head and make a promise to myself to get Asher alone¡ªand sober¡ªand finally let him know about the baby. Why am I doing this? I wonder, looking at my reflection in the mirror for the ten thousandth time. It¡¯s Saturday night, and for some ungodly reason, I let Dee talk me into going on a blind date. Why she thinks I should be dating being almost four months pregnant is beyond me. No man is going to look at all of this lovely baggage I¡¯m carrying around and think that this is a sure bet. The phone starts ringing right when I finish applying the last of my makeup. After making my way down the short hallway and into the living/dining room of my apartment, I quickly grab the phone before it rolls over to voicemail. ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°Hey, you! Are you excited for your date tonight?¡± Dee¡¯s voice comes through the phone thick with excitement. ¡°Uh, no. You know I don¡¯t want to be doing this, Dee. I don¡¯t see the point. It¡¯s not like I can hide the fact that I¡¯m pregnant if I plan on seeing him again. I would feel dishonest not telling him.¡± She pauses for a second. ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be the focus of your date, Chelc. Just because you¡¯re about to have a perfect little bundle of love doesn¡¯t mean that defines your life. You deserve to be happy too. I know you don¡¯t want to go out with Nikolas tonight, but he¡¯s really a nice guy. Who knows? You might hit it off, and then you can thank me at your wedding.¡± She snickers when she finishes, and I can just picture her laughing at herself. Ever since Dee and Beck worked out their issues¡ªand boy, there were some heavy issues¡ªshe¡¯s gone from being lukewarm about relationships to being a walking, talking advocate. She¡¯s happy, so she wants everyone else around her to feel the same happiness and love that she does. I¡¯ve got to give her some credit though. She really lucked out with John Beckett, and I would probably feel the same way if I were in her shoes. The love that those two have for each other is almost too much to watch. ¡°Jesus, Dee. I just don¡¯t think this is the right time, you know?¡± I complain. Even to my own ears, I just sound like I¡¯m bitching. Which I am. ¡°Yeah, and when will be the right time? When the baby is here? When the baby is older? When you¡¯re seventy? I get it. Really, I do. But you can¡¯t just keep living your life, working, and sitting at home.¡± Page 5 ¡°I don¡¯t just sit at home,¡± I bristle. ¡°Ah, yeah, you do.¡±Advertisement I can feel myself getting frustrated with this conversation, and the last thing I want to do is snap at Dee when she is clearly just trying to do something nice. Even if it is unwarranted. ¡°I do other things,¡± I weakly argue. ¡°HA! Like what?¡± The challenge is clear in her words. ¡°I¡­uh¡­ The other day, I¡­¡± Shit. She¡¯s right. There really isn¡¯t much I do. I work with her. I go to weekly dinners with the group. I help¡ªer, used to help¡ªAsher. And I write. ¡°I know!¡± I yelp a little too loud. ¡°I went to my first creative writing class the other day!¡± I throw my fist up in the air, realizing that I have her there. Writing has always been a passion of mine. Nothing I¡¯ve ever had the guts to pursue at a deeper level other than dabbling. It wasn¡¯t until everything with Coop happened that I realized just how precious life was. From that day on, I¡¯ve made a point to work on things I¡¯ve always been afraid to try. I might never do anything with the book I¡¯ve been working on for the last four years, but it¡¯s there, and more importantly, it makes me happy. ¡°As proud of you that I am, there is no way that counts. I¡¯m talking about going out, meeting a m-a-n.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need a man, Dee. Just because I¡¯ve got a baby on the way in no way means that I need a man to take care of me. My mom managed just fine. Not only was she a single mother, but also she never made me feel like I was a burden on her life. She was the best parent I could ever imagine. A man doesn¡¯t define whether I, or my child for that matter, have a good life.¡± I can feel my throat burning with unshed tears just begging to get out when I think about my mom. It¡¯s been almost five years since I lost my mom to breast cancer. There isn¡¯t a day that goes by that I don¡¯t miss her. She had been struggling for a good year before she passed away. It wasn¡¯t sudden, and even though we had time to come to terms with her immanent death, it wasn¡¯t easy. One thing that keeps me going is knowing that, wherever she is now, she¡¯s proud of me. I know she is. Sure, she wouldn¡¯t have wanted me to be a single mother like she was. No mother wants her child to deal with being a single parent. But she taught me everything I know about love and, more importantly, how to love a child. So I know she¡¯s happy. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean that, Chelcie,¡± Dee whispers into the phone. Her earlier excitement has obviously dimmed because of my attitude. I instantly feel guilty for letting my crazy pregnancy hormones get the best of me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Dee. I know you¡¯re just trying to help. I just don¡¯t know if I want to even be in a relationship. I¡¯m going because¡ªwho knows¡ªI might be, and I might meet someone worth taking the chance.¡± I take a deep breath and realize that everything I just said is true. I might not want to go or even think I need a man right now, but I could also be keeping the door to my own personal happiness locked tight by refusing to go. ¡°Really?¡± she questions. The earlier bravado in her voice is completely gone, making me feel like crap. ¡°Really, Dee. Thanks for everything. I¡¯ll let you know how things go tonight with Nikolas, okay?¡± We talk for a few more minutes while I continue to get ready before getting off the phone. I walk back into my bedroom and close the door, turning to face the mirror that is hanging behind it. I take a deep breath and look over myself with a detached eye. My dark-blonde hair is hanging loose in waves; my makeup is minimal but still flattering. Even to myself, I can admit that I¡¯m good-looking. I won¡¯t be starring on America¡¯s Next Top Model anytime soon, but I can turn heads. My eyes might be a little too large for my face, but they¡¯re a unique gold-brown that I¡¯ve always been told is beautiful. My nose is straight, not too large or wide. And my lips are plump and full. My eyes travel down my body, taking in the loose, black dress that hangs from my body in a flattering way and successfully hides the little bump my baby gives my stomach. Smiling, I press the fabric to my stomach and rub the slight roundness. It¡¯s you and me, kid. After turning from the mirror, I grab my heels from the bed, balancing on one foot and then the other before I¡¯m ready to go. On the way out of the apartment, I let myself think about the man who not even a week ago consumed my every thought¡ªbefore he made a giant ass of himself, that is. I might still be holding a ridiculous crush on Asher Cooper, but I like to think that even I¡¯m smarter than to let that torch burn when it¡¯s clear he wants to stay in the darkness. ¡°Have a good night, Joe!¡± I call to the apartment¡¯s older and friendly doorman. ¡°You as well, Ms. Avery!¡± he replies, a smile in his voice. I walk to my car and, with a deep breath, hope for the best with the night yet to come. Chapter 4 ¨C Chelcie My nerves are a wreck by the time I pull up to the restaurant Nikolas told me to meet him at. I hadn¡¯t heard of Slice before, and to be honest, I really didn¡¯t care where I was going. I¡¯m just ready to get this started and over with. Seven on the dot and so nervous I feel as if I¡¯m going to puke all over my brand-new dress. I press my palm against my belly, rubbing the rounded skin that holds my child within, and say a silent prayer that everything will go well tonight. Dee swears that Nikolas is a great guy, and from the few times that I¡¯ve talked to him on the phone, I have to agree. ¡°It¡¯s now or never,¡± I whisper to myself. If I waste another second sitting here, letting my nerves overtake me, then I know I¡¯ll turn the car back on and take off as fast as I can. Go back home, where it¡¯s safe. Where I can pretend that life outside my little bubble isn¡¯t a big fat unknown. It takes me a second to adjust to the lighting in the restaurant. It isn¡¯t like it is bright outside, being that it¡¯s seven at night, but it¡¯s so dimly lit inside that I have to squint for a second before walking up to the hostess. Or who I assume is the hostess. ¡°Yeah?¡± she questions, looking up from her desk, snapping her gum loudly, and twirling her long, pink, and clearly very unwashed hair. Uh¡­okay. ¡°I think I might be in the wrong place,¡± I mumble more to myself than to the lovely piece of happiness in front of me. ¡°Sure,¡± she snaps, rolling her eyes and picking up the magazine she was reading before I had the audacity to interrupt her. Page 6 I open and close my mouth a few times before I snap it shut and try to calm my climbing temper. ¡°Excuse me!¡± I force out through gritted teeth. ¡°What, lady?¡± she barks, throwing her magazine down and looking at me as if I am the offending party here.Advertisement ¡°Is this or is this not Slice?¡± I know damn well it is, but for the life of me, I can¡¯t understand how this thing in front of me has a job anywhere, let alone somewhere where she is in charge of first freaking impressions! ¡°Uh, lady, do you know how to read? It¡¯s on the door when you walk in.¡± The hell?! I can feel the heat of anger painting my skin red. I¡¯m going to blow up at this girl and it¡¯s not going to be pretty. Usually I have no issues controlling my temper, but when people want to act like half-wit window lickers I just can¡¯t hold it back. ¡°Listen here, doll face. I don¡¯t know what in the hell crawled up your sweet-as-pie ass this morning and made you turn into the spawn of Satan, but that is no excuse to act like your shit doesn¡¯t stink. For some unknown reason, your boss decided you would be an oh-so-pleasant person to have sit on your butt and treat paying customers like garbage. Do you need me to show you how it is you should greet someone? Let¡¯s repeat after me, shall we? ¡®Hello, and welcome to Slice. How may I help you this evening?¡± I have to ball my hands into tight fists to keep from reaching out and shaking the tar out of this little twit. My chest heaves with frustration. Her overly-lined-with-the-blackest-liner eyes narrow, and I can just see it working behind them that she is about to say something else that will just piss me off further. I hold my hand up¡ªstopping inches in front of her face¡ªand roll my eyes when I see her face flash with irritation. Irritation at me! ¡°Listen, I¡¯m sure you are just normally so full of sweetness that you were just about to apologize for being a massive bitch, but let me save you the trouble. Run out to the store and grab yourself some Midol. Maybe while you¡¯re there, you can meet a nice man to get you off since clearly you¡¯re suffering from some sort of frustration. IF by then you still aren¡¯t feeling the joyful tingles of happiness, maybe you can find something else to occupy your time. Clearly being a people-person just isn¡¯t your thing. Now, tell me, where in the hell is the bar in your fine establishment?¡± I put my hand down when I finish, rolling my eyes when she just stands there gaping at me. She finally lifts her hand and points to the left. I don¡¯t waste a second longer, turning on my heels. I walk into the darkened doorway that I hope leads to the bar. I might have paid a little more attention to the waves of trepidation that keep flushing over my skin, but unfortunately for me, the little ray of happiness that met me at the door is making it impossible to focus on anything else. Slice isn¡¯t as bad as I expected, but it is by no means a restaurant, and it is definitely not a place I would ever think a first date should be held. The room I walked into is vast and dark. There are smoke puffs floating around the air, causing me to cough a few times when I walk through a thick one. The lights are even darker in here, and given the way the lights keep flashing and sweeping the area with the low beats of some popular pop song, my guess is that I just walked into a bar¡ªand by the looks of it, not one I would typically enjoy. There are booths lining the room, some high-top tables with barstools pulled close, and in the center of the room is a long, rectangular bar. I¡¯m assuming that it¡¯s raised above the floor level, because other than the sea of bodies around it, I can¡¯t see much. The bartenders are dressed in what can only be described as their underwear. The shorts, which are skin tight and bright red, hug their curves and make me very aware that I am no longer a size five. Their bra-like top is hugging, pushing, and squeezing their boobs. Hell, they¡¯re basically defying freaking gravity. I look down at my own chest, which isn¡¯t lacking, but it most definitely isn¡¯t pushing my nipples into my eyeballs. With a deep sigh, I take off for the bar in hopes that finding Nikolas will be easier than it looks. Luckily, we exchanged emails and a few pictures so we both know what the other looks like. He told me this morning what he would be wearing, which isn¡¯t much help since just about every other man in the general location of the bar is wearing a black shirt. I walk up to the bar, trying to get the bartender¡¯s attention, and quickly realize that, if I had a dick, this would be much easier. This was a mistake, I think. There is no reason for me to be here. Just when I¡¯m getting ready to just say the hell with it and leave, I spot him. He isn¡¯t unattractive. He just isn¡¯t my type. Or at least the type that I¡¯ve found I only have eyes for lately. The tall, blond, and blue-eyed variety seems to be the only one occupying all of my fantasies. Nikolas is an attractive man. He isn¡¯t overly tall¡ªmy guess is somewhere around six foot. He has jet-black hair that curls up around his neck in that sexy ¡®I don¡¯t really need a haircut¡¯ kind of way. I remember from his picture that his eyes are an attractive gray color. His face is all angles and high cheekbones. And he oozes player. Which is very evident since he is currently leaning over the bar, whispering in the bartender¡¯s ear. What a freaking joke. Straightening my shoulders, I set off in his direction. Might as well just get this over with. If I at least say hello to him, I don¡¯t have to lie to Dee when I tell her that we just didn¡¯t connect. It takes me a second to get through all of the people crowding the bar. The music has gotten considerably louder since I walked in only a few minutes ago. The bodies that are dancing around the bar make it hard to walk without being jostled, and the last thing I want is to be pushed and, God forbid, fall. I finally reach Nikolas just in time to see him lift the bartender¡¯s hand up to his lips and give her a wink before kissing her knuckles. What a shmuck, I think. It¡¯s a shame that he¡¯s obviously such a douchebag because he wouldn¡¯t be bad to look at for a few dates. I laugh at myself before reaching my hand out and tapping him on the shoulder. He leans over and says something in her ear, causing her to look over at me before meeting his eyes again. Then she nods her head before walking away. What the hell was that? He turns, his smile still in place, and doesn¡¯t even pause before letting his eyes take in every single inch of my skin. I can feel his eyes as if they are a physical touch, and even though it¡¯s a clear sign¡ªas if I need another one¡ªthat this man is a major douche, I can¡¯t help but feel a little more confident that I clearly can still make his eyes flash with arousal. Page 7 In your face, Asher Cooper, with all your bullshit chubby talk. ¡°Nikolas?¡± I question.Advertisement ¡°Ah, Chelcie. I was beginning to think you had stood me up.¡± He grabs my hand, mimicking the same play he put on just seconds before with the bartender. It takes all of my willpower not to snatch my hand out of his and run to find the closest bathroom. ¡°Nope, just had a little trouble finding the place. So¡­Slice is interesting.¡± ¡°Yes. Very interesting,¡± he mumbles while his eyes never leave my chest. What a tool. ¡°Would you like to go find a place to sit?¡± I ask, hoping that he might just tell me that he would rather spend time with the Playboy Bunny behind the bar. ¡°Of course. Forgive me. It¡¯s been a long week and my head must not be on right.¡± He waves his hand in front of him, hinting for me to take the lead. When I start off in the direction of an empty booth, his hand rests heavily against the small of my back. The first step I take, his hand leaves my back, caressing my ass before giving me a little tap. I yelp before spinning around and glaring at him. He holds his hands up. ¡°Sorry, sweet cheeks. I just couldn¡¯t resist.¡± ¡°It would be best if you remember to keep your hands to yourself, Nikolas,¡± I snap. He smirks and gives me a wink before grabbing my hand and taking off in the direction we were headed. I try unsuccessfully to pull my hand from his, but he keeps his firm hold on mine. What a nightmare. So far, I¡¯ve been in date hell for about two hours, and within those two hours, I¡¯ve actually talked to my date for about thirty minutes. The second we sat down, ordered some finger food¡ªsince that was the only thing offered¡ªand some drinks¡ªnonalcoholic for me and shot after shot for him¡ªhe disappeared. I would have left, but the greasy food was so good that I couldn¡¯t stop eating. And then I ordered some more, along with another water with lemon, and by the time I realized that I had been people-watching and living in my own head, another hour had passed. It isn¡¯t abnormal for me to space out when I¡¯m in the middle of a crowded place. For as long as I can remember, I¡¯ve wanted to be a writer. It doesn¡¯t matter where I am. I sit and story after story just filter through my head. Clearly I have been living in my own personal bubble, because while I was writing a new story in my head, my date vanished. Well, isn¡¯t this lovely. I flag down one of the scantily clad waitresses and pay the bill¡ªthe whole bill¡ªbefore grabbing my purse and heading off to the bathroom before I leave. The hallway leading to the bathroom is oddly quiet. The lighting is just as bad as the rest of this place, dark and smoky. Once I make it up to the door marked Chicks, I give it a good shove before realizing that it¡¯s locked. I would leave, but since I was sitting there living in my head, I downed seven waters, and right now, baby bean is making it very clear that space is limited and my bladder looks like a nice pillow. Knocking on the door, I yell, ¡°Excuse me? Is anyone in there?¡± ¡°Yeah, bitch. Hold the hell on!¡± comes the muffled reply followed by a crash and some giggles that quickly turn into one of the longest moans. While I¡¯m sitting here about to pee on myself, cobwebs having collected around my neglected pussy, some chick is getting her rocks off. Life is not fair. I laugh at the thought of my lacking sex life. It¡¯s not for lack of want¡ªLord knows the pregnancy hormones have me turning into some sex-craving whore¡ªbut there is only one man my body craves, and regardless of what I tell myself, that will never happen. ¡°Come on! Pinch her tit and roll your hips, dude! Showtime is over!¡± I yell, slamming my fist against the wooden door. I hear some more grunts, moans, and muted curses before silence takes over. I¡¯m just about to say the hell with it and brave the men¡¯s room when I hear the lock disengage and the door swings open. Honey McSexpot from the bar struts out first, fluffing her hair and hooking her uniform top back into place. Her makeup is all over her face and her hair looks like she stuck her head under the hand dryer in the bathroom. I laugh. Yeah, that¡¯s right, I literally laugh in her face at the picture before me. ¡°Honey, you might want to check your face before you go back to work.¡± ¡°Whatever, bitch. You might want to check your date.¡± She shoots back before walking back down the hall. I don¡¯t even think about what the heck she just said. I¡¯m more focused on the toilet paper sticking out of the crotch on her shorts. What a whore. I¡¯m still laughing to myself when I turn back to the bathroom and collide with a firm chest. ¡°Whoa there, pretty thing. If you want some of Nik the Dick, all you have to do is ask. Didn¡¯t think you were the type, but I¡¯m more than ready for round two!¡± I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my tongue to keep myself from laughing even harder at the hilarity of the situation. Nik the Dick? What a mess this whole night has turned out to be. ¡°Nikolas. I would say it¡¯s been a pleasure, but being the minuteman that you seem to be, that would be a lie. I should thank you for showing me just what I¡¯ve been lucky enough to miss out on here.¡± I take a second to look at him, really look at him, and this time, I can¡¯t stop the laughter that bubbles out. ¡°You do realize that you have a tampon stuck to your face, right?¡± As disgusting as it is, I can¡¯t stop laughing. By far, this is the worst date I have ever been on. Knowing that my date was busy fucking the bartender should sting. I clearly don¡¯t have the wow factor anymore, and that is perfectly fine with me¡ªespecially since the prick I was supposed to be here with now has a very used tampon stuck to his face. He looks confused for a second before spinning on his heels and running back into the bathroom. I can hear his girlish yelp seconds before I hear him losing his stomach. And I just turn, walk to the men¡¯s room, relieve myself, and then head the hell home. I don¡¯t stop laughing until I¡¯m waving at Joe and safely behind my apartment door. Only then do I realize just how lonely I really am and my giggles turn into sobs. Chapter 5 ¨C Asher ¡°Come on, faggot. You¡¯re nothing but a piece of white trash!¡± ¡°Such a crybaby, trailer trash!¡± ¡°Where is your big, bad brother now, little boy?¡± ¡°Expecting a flood soon? Huh? Can¡¯t even get clothes that are clean?¡± ¡°How bad do you want this apple? Want it bad enough that you¡¯ll kiss my feet, gay boy?¡± Page 8 I can hear them taunting him before I even round the building. I know what I¡¯m going to find. It¡¯s the same thing that I found last week after Coop came home from school with a black eye. He looked terrible, which really isn¡¯t that hard for us. Coop started high school this year, and I knew it would be bad. It was bad for me too¡ªuntil I taught those bully shits what taunting me will get them. I had to fight for my respect, but no one messes with me now. I might not be wearing name-brand clothes. I can¡¯t even buy my own lunch without government assistance. And I will never be a kid in this school who drives a brand-new BMW. But I will demand respect that, at even fifteen, I know means more than any name-brand item I could ever own.Advertisement Coop and I don¡¯t have nice things. Hell, we don¡¯t even have kind of nice things. We have shit. We have filth. We have nothing. But we have each other, and we will always have each other. My piece-of-shit excuse for a mother doesn¡¯t even try to take her hands to Coop anymore. Not since the last time I scared her so bad she pissed all over herself. I tower over the woman who gave birth to us. She tried to take a shovel to Coop last year when I had snuck him a piece of cake I¡¯d stolen from a local baker. She came home, saw us laughing and eating real food, and went nuts. All it took was my getting in her face and threatening to flush all of her pills. She took one look at me, big for my age, vibrating with years of hate, and backed down. These days, she is gone more than home, thank Christ. I can still hear them when I finish the remaining steps that will take me to what I know will end in a lot of fists flying and blood spraying. It¡¯s time to teach these motherfuckers that they don¡¯t touch my brother. My gut clenches when I see him, my brother, curled into his small self. He¡¯s small for his age, but then again, when you lack the proper nutrition needed to actually grow, I guess that¡¯s normal. His bony arms are wrapped around his head. His head is tucked into his bent legs, and he is rocking back and forth. And it breaks my heart. I wish I could take all of the pain and all of the hurt away from him. I wish that I could make it so that he never suffered. I wish I could save him from the world. ¡°Get the hell away from my brother!¡± I roar. All five of the bullies who are walking circles around my brother¡¯s huddled form turn their heads at my voice. When I see the evil gleam in their eyes, I know that there is no way I¡¯m going to walk away from this fight without feeling it. ¡°Come on, shitheads. You want to pick on someone, then pick on someone your own size.¡± ¡°Oh we will be happy to,¡± Dillon Sharpton grunts. ¡°My pleasure, fucker,¡± Drew Cardy snarls. I hear the others chime in, but I only have eyes for Coop. I see him peek through his folded arms and I mouth the only thing I can before ten fists are flying towards me. ¡°Run.¡± I know this won¡¯t be pretty. I know I¡¯m going to feel every second of this. But I¡¯m going to fight these jackasses until I can¡¯t fight anymore. I watch Coop struggle to his feet, giving me one more look of fear before he runs as fast as he can around the way I came. Safe. And then¡­I fight. ¡°Wake the hell up,¡± I hear, followed by a hard kick to my ass. Before I can stop my body, I¡¯m rolling over the side of the guest bed in Maddox¡¯s apartment and landing hard on the wood floor. ¡°What the fuck!¡± I slowly climb off the floor because every damn inch of my body is screaming in protest. ¡°Yeah, what the fuck would be a good question, seeing as my whole fucking apartment looks like a tornado came through here. Not to mention how you look.¡± I look up and meet the pitch-black depths of Maddox Locke¡¯s cold, hard stare. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I question, trying to wake myself up. ¡°Uh, news flash¡ªI live here.¡± ¡°Oh, right.¡± ¡°Yeah, oh right. What the fuck, Asher? I ask you to stay here and watch the damn cat. Watch. The. Cat. Did I say to make yourself comfortable and re-fucking-model while you were here?¡± I¡¯ll be the first one to admit that I¡¯ve spent the better part of the last¡­I¡¯m not sure how long¡­stuffed in the bottom of whatever bottle I can find, but I honestly have no damn clue what the hell he¡¯s talking about. Maddox called me last week¡ªthat much I remember¡ªand asked me to come stay at his apartment and keep his cat fed and shit. But the rest of that¡­ Nope, no idea. And clearly with how hard his stare is getting, he knows I¡¯m clueless right now. ¡°You need to lay off the booze, brother. I understand you. Trust me, I do. But you can¡¯t keep drinking away your grief. Scream, yell, fuck it out, but do not sit here and drink yourself into a grave right next to Coop. You know damn fucking well he wouldn¡¯t want that for you.¡± He looks at me for a few more beats before he walks away from where I¡¯m standing, mouth gaping, and shuts the door with a loud click echoing throughout the otherwise silent room. He has no fucking clue¡ªnone of them do. No one knows what it¡¯s like to lose the other part of your goddamn life. No one. They all look at me with pity and it makes me sick. My brother was my reason for living. For as long as I can remember, he was the reason I woke up, and now that he¡¯s gone, I have no clue how to move on from this darkness I¡¯ve been drowning in. Every time I close my eyes, I see his smile and it kills me to know that I wasn¡¯t there to save him when he needed me. For the first time that I can remember, I let him down. And I have no idea how to move on from that. After taking a scalding-hot shower, I¡¯m finally feeling human enough to join Maddox. Judging by the noises coming from the living room, that¡¯s where I¡¯m going to find him. Coming around the corner, I feel my mouth drop. What the hell happened to this place? He wasn¡¯t wrong; it looks like a tornado came through. Hell, there might have been an earthquake as well. Maddox isn¡¯t big on the whole decoration shit, but then again, being a single guy myself, I completely get it. There¡¯s no need for accents and shit when it¡¯s just going to be you looking at the shit. It isn¡¯t barren, which my old apartment was, but it damn sure is lacking anything personal. Just white walls and black furniture. It¡¯s pretty much your typical bachelor pad. The only thing making it a step up from college dorm life is the lack of naked women posted on the walls with thumbtacks. It¡¯s not much of a step, but at least there¡¯s that. Page 9 I had my reasons for keeping my old apartment void of personal touches. I didn¡¯t even have pictures of Coop out around the place. It just had the bare minimum needed for me to come, eat, and sleep. It was, hands down, my fuck pad. More importantly, there were no reminders of the life I¡¯d left behind when I got out of the Marines. I wasn¡¯t enlisted long. I went in and got the fuck out. Don¡¯t get me wrong; I respect the hell out of these guys. I respect the hell out of anyone willing to risk their lives for our country. I saw things and did things that can never be unseen or undone. I¡¯ve killed, I¡¯ve helped others kill, and I watched half of my unit blow up right in front of my face.Advertisement So when it came time for me to reenlist, I declined. And then every day that I sat at home while my little brother was overseas on some unknown mission, I felt like I was dying a little inside. I suspect that Maddox has his own demons that follow him from his time in the Marines. I know he¡¯s highly decorated, but I also know that he suffered the worst out of all of us over there. The kind of shit that sticks to your skin and never, never lets go. ¡°Are you just going to stand there or do you actually plan on helping me clean up your shit? And where the hell is Cat?¡± ¡°Look, Mad, I know it looks bad¡ª¡± ¡°Looks bad? This is what you think looks bad? My fucking flat screen is shattered! Want to tell me what in the hell happened?¡± ¡°Uh¡­okay.¡± He just stands there, his hands on his hips, and waits. I¡¯m not afraid of much. I¡¯ve stared down the barrels of more guns than I can count. I¡¯ve fought hand to hand with terrorists. I¡¯ve defused bomb after bomb. But looking into the stone-cold depth of Maddox Locke¡¯s soul¡­ Yeah, I¡¯m man enough to admit that he scares the ever-loving shit out of me. Not knowing the best way to even start explaining the clusterfuck of events that led up to the destruction of his pad, I start the best way I can¡ªstuttering. ¡°I¡­ Well, you see. I¡­uh.¡± He looks at me, his jaw twitching with frustration, his eyebrow cocked, and his nostrils flaring with what I¡¯m sure is pure, unleashed rage. Shit. ¡°I might have brought a chick home the other night. She may or may not have gotten a little upset when I basically told her to leave.¡± ¡°You bought a chick home. To my house? A chick you don¡¯t know? To MY HOUSE!?¡± ¡°I know you¡¯re pissed, Mad. I¡¯m sorry. I just¡­forgot.¡± ¡°You just forgot?¡± he mimics. ¡°When you just forgot, did you happen to be swimming in one of these many bottles that I keep picking up off the floor?¡± Really, what¡¯s the point of responding to him? He knows¡ªhe fucking knows¡ªhow hard it¡¯s been. If anyone knows what it¡¯s like for me right now, it¡¯s him. Which is the reason I left Beck and Dee¡¯s place to begin with. I couldn¡¯t handle the looks of pure pity that would come from Dee or the talks Beck would try and throw my way. I¡¯m lost right now. Trapped in a black hole of nothing. Coop was the last thing I had, the last something real. With him gone, I just don¡¯t know what to live for. It sounds ridiculous even to me, I know, but he was everything I¡¯ve ever lived for since the day our piece-of-shit mother decided that she loved being a cracked-out whore over a mother. ¡°This shit needs to stop.¡± I was so lost in my head I didn¡¯t even notice Maddox walking right into my space. We¡¯re both evenly matched in body and bulk, but I know he could snap me in half if he wanted to. ¡°Brother, I don¡¯t know how,¡± I whisper. ¡°You don¡¯t know how to what?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know how to move on. I don¡¯t know how to escape this...this darkness.¡± My voice cracks, and even though it¡¯s the last thing I want, I crack right along with it. ¡°He¡¯s gone, Mad. He¡¯s fucking gone and I don¡¯t know how to get past knowing that he¡¯s never going to come back. That my brother is dead. He¡¯s dead and I wasn¡¯t there to do a goddamn thing about it. You know where I was when I got that call? When I got the call telling me that I needed to get my ass here because it didn¡¯t look good? I was balls-deep in some bitch I¡¯d picked up. While I was screwing around, my brother was bleeding out, and that is fucking killing me.¡± With tears falling down my face, my fists clamped tight, and my body rigid with anger, I crumble. I can¡¯t even meet his eyes, because if I see the same pity that everyone else has thrown my way in the months that have followed Coop¡¯s murder, I know I¡¯ll snap. ¡°Do you honestly think you¡¯re the only motherfucker who knows loss? Don¡¯t get me wrong. It fucking sucks that Coop is gone, but do you think he would want you wasting your life away, swimming in bottle after bottle and whore after whore? I know darkness, Asher. I know what it¡¯s like to live the same goddamn nightmare over and over again, but at some point, you need to wake the fuck up and realize there¡¯s more to live for.¡± He shakes his head, looking off to the side and out the window of his apartment, where the sun is blazing bright. Another reminder that life goes on. ¡°You¡¯re killing yourself for what? To keep your mind on some continuous loop of grief? Constantly beating yourself up over something you have no control over? He¡¯s dead, Ash. He¡¯s dead and there isn¡¯t anything you can do to bring him back. We all miss him¡ªtrust me on that. And pretty soon, if you don¡¯t turn yourself around, you will successfully drink yourself to your own death, and please tell me what the hell that will fucking accomplish?¡± ¡°What the fuck do you know about loss, Maddox?¡± I scream, losing my tight hold on the control that¡¯s been my only weapon against crumbling into nothing the last few months. ¡°I know every-fucking-thing about loss, Asher Cooper. I know what it¡¯s like to lose your family, your friends, your life like you¡¯ve always known it, and yourself. I fucking know what it¡¯s like to have NOTHING, and trust me, what you feel right now is heavy, but it doesn¡¯t hold a fucking candle. Work out your shit. Talk it out, fight it out, but stop fucking drinking it out. When you¡¯re ready to take that step, you let me fucking know, but meanwhile, stop bringing sluts back to my house¡­and find my damn cat!¡± He storms past me, knocking my shoulder so hard I fall right on my ass in the middle of his living room, and the only think I can think of is that he¡¯s fucking right, but I have no clue how to fix my life. Page 10 Chapter 6 ¨C Asher Why anyone would think I should be responsible for something breathing is beyond me. I can¡¯t even take care of my own damn self, and obviously I can¡¯t take care of anything else since I lost a cat. An indoor cat. There aren¡¯t many places this beast could hide either. I can hear Maddox slamming shit around and grumbling under his breath about me getting my shit together. Meanwhile, I¡¯ve been crawling all over this damn apartment looking for his stupid cat.Advertisement And I say cat loosely since this thing is about forty pounds. I wonder if I can get by with telling everyone that his cat beast scratched me to hell and not some crazy chick. ¡°Come on, Cat. Come out wherever you are,¡± I say through clenched teeth. Stupid damn animal. I¡¯ve checked the kitchen, the laundry room, and living and dining rooms. Nothing. I¡¯ve looked in each bathroom and in Maddox¡¯s room. Surely I would have noticed a large cat living in the same space I had for the last seven days? ¡°Where is Cat, you idiot?¡± Maddox bellows through the apartment. ¡°Bastard,¡± I grumble. Just when I¡¯m about to give up, I spot a fluff of fur move in the back, darkened corner of my closet. It¡¯s not hard to miss since it seems to be Maddox¡¯s stuff-all hole. There¡¯s box on top of box and even more crap piled on top of that. ¡°Come on, Cat. Your keeper is home.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a fucking keeper. I should be the keeper of your ass. Bet you wouldn¡¯t get in half the trouble you seem to be getting into lately,¡± Maddox¡¯s deep rumble says directly behind me, causing me to jump slightly and knock a bunch of boxes on top of my head. ¡°Motherfucker,¡± I spit out. I try to move the boxes out from on top of me. Maddox is no damn help since apparently I scared Cat enough to have her run over me, and I can hear Maddox cooing at her. Seriously, is he talking baby talk to a cat? ¡°A little help would be nice.¡± ¡°Yeah, it would, wouldn¡¯t it,¡± he calls on his way out the door. I spend a good ten minutes trying to wiggle my wide frame out of the avalanche of boxes. When I finally get myself free, I spend some time picking up the mess that stupid cat caused. I refuse to believe that I did this, but I still feel like shit for trashing Maddox¡¯s house. Right when I finish up, I catch something out of the corner of my eye. Bending over, I pick up the picture that must have fallen out of one of the boxes. Turning over the picture, I see a younger, happier, Maddox Locke. His arms, minus the tattoos that heavily cover them now, are wrapped around a tiny, blonde chick and he¡¯s smiling a smile I¡¯ve never seen on his face. He doesn¡¯t have one ounce of the heaviness that cloaks him every second now. No, in this picture, he is the example of a man happy and in love. ¡°Where the fuck did you find that?¡± Before I even have a second to reply, the picture is ripped out of my hands and crushed inside his fist. ¡°Want to talk about that?¡± ¡°Do you want to talk about your shit?¡± I shake my head, knowing that I should but that I¡¯m not there yet¡­and I¡¯m not sure if I will be anytime soon. ¡°Is that part of your nightmares?¡± ¡°This is my fucking nightmare.¡± He storms from the room, slamming the door hard enough that the walls shake. I let myself fall back on my ass and lean up against the bed, my head falling to my hand before rolling it to pop some of the tension from my neck. Three months ago, everything seemed so simple. When the hell did I start living some soap opera shit for my life? I know he¡¯s right, and he clearly knows what it¡¯s like to be living hell on Earth. I¡¯ve known him for years and this is the first time he¡¯s ever let me see anything that could be haunting him. Maybe he¡¯s right. I need to start moving forward, but I know in order to do that, I have to make sure I¡¯ve done everything I can to avenge my brother. Right or wrong, it¡¯s what I need to do. So with a new resolve to start moving forward from this limbo I¡¯ve been stuck in, I pull myself off the floor and start pouring out every bottle of liquor I have stashed around my room and his apartment. Walking into Heavy¡¯s for the gang¡¯s weekly family dinner is the last thing I want to be doing right now. I¡¯ve spent the last four days going over all of the information I have gathered thus far on Coop¡¯s murder. Or I should say the man behind the snowball that formed into a massive boulder of events that led up to his death. Dominic Murphy. That sorry piece of shit has his finger on literally everything gun and drug related in the southeast. Until recently, he¡¯s been like a ghost, completely untraceable. That was until I finally caught a break. It caused me to cash in just about every single favor I¡¯ve ever collected over the years. As a bounty hunter, I¡¯ve established relationships with a lot of men I¡¯m lucky to have on my side. Everything from FBI, DEA, and a few local cops here and there. Dom¡¯s been spotted most recently right here in Atlanta. Last night, I was lucky enough to have some surveillance footage of him at a local bar sent to me. I know what he looks like, what his security team looks like, right down to what he had for breakfast. And now that I know where to find him, nothing will stop me from taking the next steps I need to seek my revenge for Coop. ¡°Asher!¡± I turn just in time to catch the slim body that is smashing into mine. The overwhelming stench of cheap perfume hits my nose at the same time that her large tits are crushing against my side. I put my arm up to brace her impact, but the only thing I succeed in doing is helping her mold her body closer to mine. ¡°Hey, baby, did you miss me?¡± I just stare at her, and I can almost picture my face. My mouth slack, my eyes confused and slowly blinking, and my brows crinkled in either shock or disgust at myself because I have no idea who this woman is. Clearly she knows me, given that one hand is possessively on my ass and the other is about two seconds away from making purchase on my cock. And I honestly have no idea if I should be more shocked that I have no clue who she is or that my cock is oblivious to her. She¡¯s attractive enough¡ªa tight, trim body, large tits, and legs that could wrap around my body twice. Given the fact that she is wearing next to nothing, she would be a guaranteed sure thing and the typical type of woman I¡¯ve been going after for as long as I can remember. She¡¯s the type of woman who¡¯s good for sinking yourself into, but not for conversation. The kind who, if I had a mother worth taking someone home to, you would without a doubt keep far away. Page 11 I look over at the group. All of them, even the babies, seem to be staring at me in shock, but I only have eyes for one of them. The blonde who¡¯s haunted my every fantasy since the day I met her. Those brown eyes as dark as rich mocha boring into my own. She¡¯s never been good at hiding how she feels, which is why I know that the attraction I feel for her is far from one-sided, but right now, the pain that is flickering back at me shocks me even more than the woman mauling me in the middle of Heavy¡¯s. ¡°Did you miss me, baby?¡± she whispers huskily in my ears.Advertisement Her warm, wet breath hits my skin and causes a chill of revulsion to run through my body¡ªwhich she clearly takes as encouragement, unfortunately, since that damn hand that was tracing each one of my abs starts making its way past my belt. Chelcie¡¯s eyes widen, and before I can make sense of her expression, the woman next to me curls her hand roughly against my flaccid cock, squeezing so hard that I have to suck in a deep breath of shock and pain, again doing nothing but encouraging her to keep going. With one of her hands digging into my backside and the other doing its best to rip my dick off through my pants, she leans up and bites my earlobe between her teeth. The shock keeps me rooted¡ªsilently¡ªin place, but when I see a single tear roll down Chelcie¡¯s beautiful cheek, I quickly start to detangle myself from the leech at my side. ¡°Oh come on, Asher. You liked it rough the last time,¡± she pouts in the most annoying baby talk I¡¯ve ever heard. ¡°Babe, I hate to break it to you, but I don¡¯t even remember who you are.¡± Figuring that honesty is the best road to travel right now, I give it to her as politely as I can without just telling her that she was a warm hole my drunken mind needed. ¡°Excuse me?¡± ¡°Which part of that didn¡¯t you understand?¡± I ask. ¡°Oh shit,¡± I hear Axel laugh behind me. ¡°You idiot,¡± Melissa mumbles under her breath. ¡°Sweet Jesus, even I know if I loved the ladies like you hunks of sex, THAT is definitely not the right way to handle all of that hot mess,¡± Sway dramatically adds. I turn around and glare at all of them quickly before returning my attention to the chick basically vibrating with anger. ¡°It¡¯s Pammy,¡± she seethes. Pammy? Jesus Christ, does every one of the chicks I sleep with have to have a name that screams, ¡®Bimbo¡¯? ¡°Right, Pammy. I don¡¯t mean to be a jerk, but I really have no idea who you are.¡± I try to smile, but when I see the look of crazy-bitch come across her face, I know that things are about to get ugly. ¡°Stop,¡± I say harshly under my breath, ¡°whatever is about to fly out of that pretty little mouth of yours, babe. In case you missed this, there are kids in your presence. I¡¯m sure their parents are already going to lay into me since you decided to relearn your basic male anatomy while standing right in front of them, so the last thing I need is for you to start running that mouth of yours.¡± Her eyes turn glacial, and I know¡ªI just know¡ªthat she didn¡¯t hear a word I just said. Fuck. Me. ¡°You knew my name just fine A WEEK ago when you were driving that thick cock inside me.¡± She reaches up and attempts to slap me, but I quickly catch her around her slim wrist. Braving a look around the table behind me wouldn¡¯t be the best move. I can feel the energy getting electric as the group takes in what just flew out of her mouth. A few shocked gasps, deep mumbles of outrage, and one high-pitched laugh that I know belongs to Sway. I close my eyes and drop my head when I hear Cohen speak. ¡°Daddy! Roosters can¡¯t drive!¡± Looking up, I narrow my eyes at Pammy before pulling her away from the table with her wrist still in my hand. She practically has to run to keep up with me in those damn shoes she has on, but I¡¯m so pissed that I don¡¯t even care if she trips and falls. Chapter 7 ¨C Chelcie ¡°Roosters can¡¯t drive, little dude. She was talking about a movie that Uncle Asher took her to,¡± Greg utters as calmly as he can to a very curious Cohen. The rest of the table is in a mix of anger and hilarity over the scene we just witnessed between Asher and one of his many whores. And I say whores because that¡¯s exactly what they are. No woman I¡¯ve ever had the displeasure of watching him hook up with has ever looked like she has an ounce of self-respect. They¡¯re always so¡­fake. Huge breasts, big butts, and tiny waists. One thing he doesn¡¯t ever discriminate against is their hair color, so hey, at least he keeps an open mind. Disgusting. There was a time when I felt like he could be the one. A time when he wasn¡¯t drunk and sleeping with every easy lay that spread her legs for him. It didn¡¯t happen often, but those rare moments when I would catch him sober were some of the greatest. ¡°Someone needs to talk to him. This is getting out of control, Ax. I¡¯m shocked that he even remembered what day it is to show up tonight,¡± Izzy says to her husband. ¡°Clearly he ran out of liquor,¡± Dee speaks from across the table. Beck shakes his head and reaches over her shoulder to pull her closer to his body. ¡°How do you forget the name of someone that you sleep with?¡± Sway questions. ¡°Hell if I know. I remember all of the ladies I¡¯ve had the pleasure of,¡± Greg chimes in after making sure Cohen is distracted with Nate, Axel and Izzy¡¯s two-year-old son. ¡°Pig,¡± Melissa, his wife, smiles at him. I allow myself a second to feel the wave of jealousy wash over my body before quickly putting it back where it belongs¡ªlocked in a box deep inside me. ¡°When was the last time anyone even saw him without the stench of alcohol oozing out of his skin?¡± Davey asks. He, like me, is pretty new to the group. He started as the front office assistant to the guys at Corps Security when Emmy left. Out of everyone who had a hard time after Coop¡¯s death, Emmy might have taken it the hardest. Coop took the bullet that had been meant for her, and I can¡¯t even begin to put myself in her shoes. I hate that she left abruptly, but I understand why she did. ¡°He¡¯s been drinking nothing stronger than Coke for the last three days,¡± Maddox says, speaking over the group and gaining every single one of our eyes. But he isn¡¯t looking at anyone else except me. His expressionless face is just boring into mine, his eyes clearly trying to communicate some kind of hidden message for me alone. I frown at him, not picking up on his underlying meaning. Page 12 ¡°You don¡¯t say?¡± Beck responds dryly. ¡°Completely drink free?¡± I don¡¯t know who said it; I¡¯m too busy meeting Maddox¡¯s eyes without breaking, trying desperately to understand what he¡¯s telling me.Advertisement ¡°Completely.¡± His eyes never waver from mine when he confirms. ¡°That¡¯s good, man. I¡¯ve been worried about him,¡± Axel, I think, says to Maddox. There¡¯s more continued conversation about the state of Asher and his grief over Coop¡¯s death. Out of instinct, when I hear them bring up Coop¡¯s name, my hand goes straight to my stomach. I realize my mistake a second too late when Maddox breaks contact and his eyes travel down to where my hand is splayed across my slightly rounded stomach. Maddox isn¡¯t a stupid man. He¡¯s probably one of the most intuitive people I¡¯ve ever met. His eyes stay on my stomach¡ªeven after I move my hand away as if I¡¯ve burned myself. He just takes it all in. The only tell he gives me is when he looks back up and lets his guard down long enough to show the shock within the black depths of his normally blank eyes. Shit. ¡°You,¡± he speaks through clenched teeth and points at me. ¡°Come with me.¡± He doesn¡¯t even look to see if I¡¯m moving to follow him before he roughly pushes from the table and walks away. ¡°What the hell?¡± Izzy questions. I spare Dee a quick slightly panicked look before making my way to where Maddox is waiting for me. He pulls me around the wall that separates the room and the bathrooms, allowing us a bit of privacy for what I know is going to be a hard conversation. ¡°What¡¯s going on, Mad?¡± I hedge. ¡°Don¡¯t play games with me, Chelcie. I know you don¡¯t trust me, and I don¡¯t blame you. You don¡¯t know me. Just let me get this out and then we can get back to dinner. Anything you need, anything you want, or anything you feel needs to be done, you let me know. I¡¯m not going to pretend to be a chick and understand what you¡¯re feeling, but you¡¯re not alone. Yeah?¡± For the first time since I met Maddox, every single trace of the hard man I¡¯ve come to know is gone. Standing in front of me is a version of him that I¡¯m not sure how to deal with. His face holds so much compassion and pain that I don¡¯t know if he¡¯s upset that I have kept this secret to myself or what. He almost looks vulnerable. ¡°Yeah, Maddox¡­ Uh, thanks,¡± I whisper. ¡°Does he know?¡± ¡°No,¡± I can hear the shame painting that one heavy word. I¡¯m not proud of myself for keeping this from Asher, and knowing that another person knows my secret and he still doesn¡¯t drives home that pain. ¡°Are you okay?¡± This side of Maddox, this caring, emotional side, is such a shock that I don¡¯t speak at first. I¡¯ve never, not once, seen this side. It¡¯s no secret to anyone, even me though I¡¯m new to this group, that Maddox holds his cards close and his pain even closer. There¡¯s always been a cloud over him. Like his own personal hell just simmers too close to the surface for him to be anything but closed off. And knowing that he can see right through me is slightly terrifying and reassuring at the same time. I¡¯m not alone. ¡°Chelcie, how are you doing with this?¡± His eyes look¡­scared. Whether it¡¯s for me, Asher, or whatever personal hell is chasing him, I¡¯m not sure. ¡°I¡¯m getting there, Mad. I¡¯m worried, but not for me. I¡¯m ready for this, excited even. It isn¡¯t the way I imagined it happening, but I really am happy. I just¡­ Well, you know, I don¡¯t know how he will handle this. I¡¯m not a slut.¡± I¡¯m not sure why I felt the need to throw that in there, but to me, it¡¯s important that he doesn¡¯t think I¡¯m easy. I don¡¯t just sleep around, and even though what happened between Coop and me could arguably make me a slut in a lot of people¡¯s eyes, I don¡¯t regret a second of it. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you were, girl,¡± he says, his eyes losing that lost look, and he reaches out to pull me into a hug. I let my arms curl around his back and hold on tight to his shoulders, soaking up every ounce of strength he¡¯s offering. The muscles in his back ripple and roll under my fingertips when he brings his head down and rests his lips against my temple. We stand like that for a few minutes before he dips his head lower and whispers against my ear. ¡°You¡¯re never alone. Don¡¯t for one second think that. You shouldn¡¯t be worried, scared, or afraid right now. This is a time in your life that you should be smiling that beautiful smile every second of every day. It¡¯s not going to be easy, but you¡¯re not alone. This baby will be loved, I promise you that. Asher needs to know, Chelcie. He needs that. And if you need someone there when that happens, you just say the words.¡± He pulls up, places another kiss on the top of my head, and with a small squeeze, walks away. I stand there with tears in my eyes just begging to spill over, and I smile¡ªa genuine smile¡ªfor the first time in weeks. I think I¡¯ve always known that I wasn¡¯t exactly alone, but to have someone I hardly know strip me bare emotionally and address every worry I¡¯ve had since my baby¡¯s father was murdered brings a kind of peace that I didn¡¯t know I needed. A safety that I didn¡¯t know I was lacking until this moment. Deciding that I need a moment to collect myself before returning to the group, I quickly make my way into the bathroom to clean my face up¡ªcompletely oblivious to the furious eyes that just watched that whole scene unravel. Chapter 8 ¨C Asher I can¡¯t even explain the fury that is racing through my veins right now. After dealing with Pammy, my mood was already deteriorating. But after seeing Maddox with his arms wrapped tightly around Chelcie¡¯s luscious body and his lips against her creamy skin, what little control I had left snapped. She¡¯s mine. She doesn¡¯t know that yet, but I¡¯m not going to sit back and let Maddox have her. The small, rational part of my mind that isn¡¯t clouded in a red-hot rage right now is trying to remind me that I have no claim over Chelcie. Not only that, but everyone knows that Maddox only has eyes for Emmy. I should recognize that there is not one thread of a reason for me to be this jealous, but I¡¯m already too far gone to listen to that nonsense. The only thing that matters is what I just witnessed. MY woman in the arms of Maddox Locke. MY woman holding him back just as tight. And MY woman with a smile on her beautiful face that could light up even the darkest caves in Hell. Page 13 Hell. No. With a single-minded determination, I set off towards the women¡¯s bathroom I just saw her duck into. It¡¯s time to let her know exactly where my head is at, and I¡¯m sick of this avoiding game she¡¯s been playing lately.Advertisement ¡°You.¡± I point to the waitress who just came out of the bathroom that holds my woman inside. ¡°Is there anyone else other than the blonde woman wearing jeans and a white shirt in there?¡± She shakes her head slowly, her jaw slack and her eyes wide. ¡°Does that door lock?¡± She again just nods her head. ¡°Good girl. You didn¡¯t see me, got it?¡± I pull a fifty from my wallet and hand it to her. She hesitantly wraps her fingers around the bill before hurrying down the hall. Who knows if she will keep her mouth shut. All that I heard and care about is that Chelcie is in there. Alone. And I¡¯m about to make it perfectly clear that she is fucking mine. The overwhelming stench of cheap perfume and fried foods is the first thing I smell when I walk through the bathroom door. It¡¯s like being slapped in the face with it. Why don¡¯t chicks understand that they don¡¯t need to bathe in that crap? We don¡¯t want them because they smell like the makeup part of the malls. You know, the part of the store you avoid because you feel like if you don¡¯t stop and smell that stupid white card they might start running after you. Less is more. One of the things I crave the most about Chelcie is the subtle, sexy smell she has. I can¡¯t even explain it. I can even smell it in here¡ªjust barely, but enough that my cock is straining to find her like some damn beacon. Like fresh berries and the mouthwatering undertones of cr¨¨me br?l¨¦e. Goddamn. I can feel myself growing even harder. Visions of her underneath me as I slowly drive her body over the edge, smelling her on top of that lotion she is always rubbing into her skin¡­ Fuck. I have to physically stop myself from storming up to her and taking her against the wall. There she is. She hasn¡¯t seen me yet. She¡¯s standing at the sinks, dabbing a wet paper towel against her face. I can tell that she¡¯s been crying. Her eyes are slightly swollen and red. Her nose and cheeks have a blush to them that, if she wasn¡¯t cleaning up the evidence of being upset, would cause the desire racing through my veins to hit a raging boil. I watch in fascination as she lowers the paper towel, looks at herself for a few beats in the mirror, and smiles. This isn¡¯t like the smile she had in the hallway. No, this is a smile I¡¯ve been on the receiving end of before. The kind that makes me feel like the sun is shining on every inch of the darkness I¡¯ve been trapped within. It is impossible not to feel touched when she turns that smile on you. I find my own lips tipping up slightly. What can I say? It¡¯s infectious. She takes a deep breath, holds her hands to her stomach, and closes her eyes. I watch as her lips move slightly as if she is speaking before she smiles again. Reaching down, I adjust myself quickly before she has a chance to notice that I¡¯m here. Once I¡¯ve curled my arm behind my back, I silently turn the latch and lock us both inside. ¡°Chelcie.¡± Her eyes snap open and a look a horror and panic flashes over her features before she quickly hides it. A feeling of frustration washes over me that she is once again closing herself off to me. I have not one damn clue as to why she¡¯s been acting like this lately. At first, she would walk on eggshells around me, but then again, everyone else did as well. Then, as we got to know each other better during the weeks she spent helping me research Dominic, I felt like she had finally let those damn walls down. That she had finally started to let me in. And then, last week, those walls didn¡¯t just come up; they were enforced with a strength I just couldn¡¯t wrap my mind around. How did things change so rapidly? ¡°Chelcie,¡± I repeat when she doesn¡¯t make a move to talk. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be in here, Ash. Aren¡¯t you busy?¡± Ah, so this is the way she wants to play it. ¡°Are you jealous?¡± I bait. ¡°Ha! Hardly. I don¡¯t want to deal with another one of your groupies.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have groupies, Chelcie.¡± I take a few steps and mentally grin when I see her chest start to rise and fall faster. Her eyes keep darting from my face to the door behind me. I let my lips curl into a smirk at the thought of her trying to run from me. I¡¯m done letting her run. ¡°Why have you been avoiding me?¡± She looks confused for a second before I see those damn walls getting thicker. ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± I firmly state. ¡°Do not even think about making those goddamn walls any fucking stronger, Sunshine. No more of that. Why have you been running from me? I come into a room you¡¯re in and you leave. I call and you don¡¯t answer. You¡¯ve been there for weeks and now nothing.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not running. I¡¯ve been busy.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t even look me in the eye, so don¡¯t give me that line of crap.¡± Her eyes narrow, and I watch in rapt fascination as she stands a little straighter, marches right up to me¡ªtoe to toe¡ªand jams her finger into my chest. ¡°You¡­you SHIT! Why would I want to be around you, Asher? Huh? So you can throw some more insults at me? So you can show me just how little you think of me, of our friendship?! Or maybe, just maybe, I need another little self-esteem knockdown.¡± When she stops talking, her cheeks are flushed, her chest is moving even quicker than it was before, and those eyes I love so much are blazing with her anger. What in the hell did I miss here? ¡°Uh, Sunshine, I have no clue what you are referring to.¡± ¡°Of course you don¡¯t, Ash. How could you possibly remember something that happened when you were so drunk you couldn¡¯t even stand up straight? Let me ask you this. Do you remember what happened to give you all those damn claw marks on your body? Don¡¯t even think about lying to me either. Let me guess. Another one of your skin-and-bones groupies?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have groupies!¡± The words are heavy with the angry power I feel forming in my gut. ¡°Yeah, okay, then you have an army of sluts. Easy bitches that you fuck every day or hour¡ªI don¡¯t know. But I know I¡¯m sick of watching it.¡± She rolls her eyes, but not before she can hide the flash of pain. ¡°And why is that, Chelcie? Is it because you wish it was you? Because let me tell you, I wish it was you. Every. Single. Time.¡± Page 14 Her gasp echoes against the walls. Even the noises from outside the door of the busy restaurant seem to mute themselves. It¡¯s just us in here. These are the moments you look back on when you¡¯re knocking on Death¡¯s door and smile. These are the moments when you can just feel in your gut that something life changing is happening.Advertisement And I thank Christ that I¡¯m sober enough to remember this. ¡°That¡¯s right, Chelcie. You. Do you really want to know how I got scratched up? It¡¯s because the last woman I had, unfortunately, didn¡¯t like it when I said your name when I came. I can¡¯t change the past, and Lord knows I¡¯m no monk, but I¡¯m done. Done with the drinking, the other women, and I¡¯m damn sure done fighting this attraction we¡¯ve both been dancing around for three long months.¡± She gasps, and using it to my advantage, I crash my lips down to hers. Feeling her lips against mine¡ªfinally¡ªis like finding water after years of a drought. It feels like coming home. It feels like I just got shocked with the highest voltage of electricity. The tingles shoot all the way from where our lips are joined straight to my dick. Her hands shoot up to my sides, tightly fisting my shirt. I run my hands up her arms, curl them around her neck, and tilt her head to give me a better angle. To feast deeply on her lips. When I lick her plump lips and they open on a moan, I feel her melt into me. I stand there and pour every bit of lust I¡¯ve had building into this kiss. Every promise of what is to come. We stand there, ignoring the world around us while I take her in a kiss so powerful I have to lock my knees to keep from buckling. Damn, the things this woman does to my body. I vaguely hear the pounding against the door. Between the wet sounds of our mouths mating together and our joined moans, it¡¯s hard to focus on anything else. When they get louder, I feel her stiffen under my hands and I know the moment has been ruined. I pull back, not removing my hands from her neck, and rest my forehead against hers. My eyes closed while I try to calm the inferno that¡¯s taken over my system. I don¡¯t even have a second to go from fucking her lips with mine before she rips herself from my hold. Reaching out, I grab the counter and steady myself before looking up at unexpected anger. ¡°How dare you,¡± she says coarsely. ¡°I refuse to be another notch on your belt, Ash. You aren¡¯t hurting for attention, obviously, and I see the girls you sleep with. I know I¡¯m not as tall as they are or as skinny. Lord knows you made it perfectly clear just how chubby you see me. You had a clear shot at someone easy not even ten minutes ago. Don¡¯t you dare come at me with your¡­that¡­ Fuck! I don¡¯t even know how to get this through to you. You hurt me, Asher. You hurt me, and I don¡¯t know if I can stop thinking about it long enough to be nice to you. So yeah, I have been avoiding you. You don¡¯t have to do me any favors by pretending to be into the chubby, lonely girl, okay?¡± ¡°Chelcie, please don¡¯t take this the wrong way, but I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about.¡± I knew I had been spending more time drunk than awake lately, but until this moment, I didn¡¯t realize just how bad it had become. Ashamed isn¡¯t a strong enough word for how I feel right now. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t imagine that you do, Ash. That¡¯s what happens when you wake up drunk and then work your hardest to get even drunker. You know I thought we were at least getting to the point of friendship, but you don¡¯t sit there and insult your friends.¡± The pounding on the door gets louder while we just stand there. Knowing I can¡¯t let her leave without at least trying to explain myself, I turn and throw the lock before yanking the door open. ¡°Chill the fuck out,¡± I spit at the shocked-faced ladies waiting to get inside the bathroom. It¡¯s not going to be long before they have Heavy himself coming to see what the issue is, so I turn back to Chelcie and work hard to get the right words together. ¡°Fuck!¡± Her eyes widen at the brutal force I spat that word out with. ¡°Sunshine, I¡¯m sorry. I wish I could remember what I did to make you look at me like that.¡± I move closer, pulling her into my body so that I can feel her against my skin again. ¡°I¡¯m fucking sorry.¡± She looks at me, her expression screaming disappointment. ¡°You might be sorry now, Asher, but how do I know that the next time you¡¯re drinking you aren¡¯t just going to do it again? I¡¯m not at a place in my life where I can afford to not know which version of Asher Cooper I¡¯m dealing with.¡± I go to open my mouth and reply, but she quickly stops me. Her lips press against mine with the softest kiss. I take a deep breath in and hold it, feeling her against me, smelling her desire, but knowing that, if I try to do anything, I¡¯m just going to prove to her that all I want is to be between her thighs. ¡°You can¡¯t treat me like one of your groupies, Ash. That hurt. But hearing you basically call me the chubby girl that you would do if you had to¡­ Well, that sliced me deep and I just can¡¯t open that back up right now.¡± She kisses me again before pulling herself out of my shocked arms and disappearing through the door. Meanwhile, I just stand there wondering what to do next. Chapter 9 ¨C Chelcie Monday morning came way too quickly. I¡¯ve been in a pissed-off, somewhat depressed fog since my run-in with Asher. I spent the weekend in bed vegging on every single thing I could find that could fall into the junk food category. Ice cream, candy, peanuts, pickles¡­ Okay, maybe pickles aren¡¯t junk food, but you tell that to my little bean. I¡¯ve been lucky so far. I¡¯m just about to hit the halfway mark of my pregnancy and my bump is finally starting to look more like I have a baby in there and not ten courses of Chinese takeout. Every time I look in the mirror and see the evidence of the life growing within my body, I¡¯m overcome with a love I¡¯ve never known was possible. That is of course quickly followed by a crying hormonal fit for a good hour. Between the crying and the weird depression jags, odd food cravings, and unbelievable sex drive¡ªminus the sex¡ªI feel like my body has a mind of its own. I go from elation to fear in two-point-five seconds. And at the heels of all of that is guilt. Guilt because I still haven¡¯t talked to Asher. At first, I didn¡¯t want to tell him because I didn¡¯t know him. Then, after I got to know him and realized my attraction to him, I was more scared to tell him than anything. What if he thinks I was just another one of Coop¡¯s whores? Or what if he thinks I did this on purpose? Irrational¡ªthat¡¯s all it was. Because when you strip all the bullshit away, he deserves to know and I am a huge bitch for not telling him. Page 15 So that¡¯s why I woke up this morning I made a promise to myself. I have exactly three weeks to tell him. In three weeks, I finally get to find out if I¡¯m having a boy or girl, and I feel like Asher needs to be a part of that. He needs to know so that he has time to decide if he even wants to be part of that. God, I hope he does.Advertisement Of course, today isn¡¯t going to be that day. I promised Dee that I would try one more date before I gave up on it for a while. The last idiot I attempted to go out on a date with showed up with a car so full of trash that I couldn¡¯t even make out where he was sitting. I wasn¡¯t even sure how he was able to drive that damn thing. There was trash for days¡ªclothes, bedding¡­ Hell, I think he had food stuck to his windshield. Of course, that should have been the first clue that I needed to run. He got out, walked around the car, and gave me a huge hug. The only thing I noticed was the overwhelming stench. So¡­ I proceeded to vomit all over his feet. His socks¡ªwith holes¡ªand-sandals-wearing feet. And the worst part was that he didn¡¯t even seem to mind. He smiled, half of his teeth missing, and tried to kiss me! Needless to say, I all but ran back to my car and hauled ass out of the parking lot. I had to pull over twice to strip the clothes from my body and frantically brush ants off of me. And then I shamelessly ran back through the lobby of my apartment, past a blushing Joe, and straight to my place¡ªwhere I took the hottest shower I could safely have while trying to talk myself out of a bleach scrub. So this afternoon is it. If this date is another date from hell, I¡¯m done. I wisely told Dee that this date was going to be a lunch date; that way, if it turned out to be another disaster, I wouldn¡¯t have to have my whole night ruined. I talked to date number three, Phillip, on the phone last night. He seemed pleasant enough. Very polite and soft-spoken. He didn¡¯t refer to himself with any weird nicknames, and most importantly, he knew that I was pregnant and didn¡¯t seem to have a single issue with it. Famous last words, it seems. Pulling up outside the local burger hot spot, I immediately see him standing against the wall next to the front entrance, our designated meeting spot. He has the tall, sleek build of a runner. Slim hips, flat stomach, and strong shoulders. His hair is clipped short¡ªjust enough length for me to run my fingers through his blond locks. I can¡¯t see his eyes from here, but if I remember from the terribly grainy picture he sent me, they¡¯re a warm hazel. I take in his straight-laced clothes¡ªtypical country-club-type polo and dress slacks, all the way down to his loafers. Okay, that might be a point in the negative column. I¡¯m so used to looking at the guys in their tough-guy boots that loafers throw me off for a second. Shaking my head at my own foolishness, I climb out of the car and make sure that my clothes are in order. It¡¯s harder these days to find things that don¡¯t show off my stomach. I decided to go with a nice pair of black slacks and a loose-fitting blouse. Nothing that draws attention to my growing stomach. ¡°Chelcie?¡± he questions when I get closer. His friendly, open face lights up when he spots me. ¡°Yes, it¡¯s a pleasure to meet you, Phillip.¡± I go to offer my hand, but he pulls me into a friendly hug. Errr¡­okay, maybe another negative. I don¡¯t hug. I awkwardly pat his back a few times and pray that he isn¡¯t going to keep me in this hug crap for too long. ¡°Not a hugger, huh?¡± he laughs, pulling away with his warm smile still in place. Well, thank God I didn¡¯t offend him. So far, so good. ¡°Yeah, sorry. Must be weird being on the other end of an anti-hug person.¡± We both laugh and make our way into the restaurant. It doesn¡¯t take long to get a table, and for once, there isn¡¯t any awkward silence or overly flirtatious behavior with the staff. He seems genuinely interested in what I have to say. ¡°So, Phillip, tell me a little about yourself. You mentioned that you own a construction company?¡± I grab my water and take a sip, waiting for him to answer. I¡¯m shocked that I¡¯m actually enjoying myself. ¡°Please call me Phil. My father is Phillip, and I feel like I need to have a sweater vest on when people call me by my full name.¡± He flashes his bright, white teeth when he smiles at me. Damn, he might be as close to perfect as I¡¯m going to find. ¡°Or then again, it could be my mother yelling at me.¡± He laughs at his own joke, and I smile, waiting for him to continue. ¡°I opened up my company about ten years ago. I worked through college building houses, and it just seemed like the right thing for me. I knew what I was doing and had years of connections to get the jobs done cheap. We do everything from small home repairs to complete demo and remodels. It¡¯s fun, and I love working with my hands. Just kind of fit.¡± ¡°It must be impossible to work in the Georgia heat during the summers. I couldn¡¯t imagine working outdoors. But then again, I pretty much sprint from air-conditioned building to air-conditioned car when it goes over eighty.¡± ¡°It¡¯s definitely not a walk in the park, that¡¯s for sure. I¡¯ve been lucky, and my company does well, so the majority of the heavy work I contract out. I spend most of my working hours in the office, telling others how to do their job.¡± We¡¯re interrupted for a second when our food arrives, and a comfortable silence settles around us. The noise of the other diners around us fills in the blank in conversation. We make eye contact a few times, his eyes heating with blatant desire. ¡°Do you mind me asking about the baby¡¯s father? I don¡¯t mean to overstep. I just want to know what I¡¯m dealing with.¡± He actually blushes at that, and I can¡¯t help but smirk at his obvious discomfort in asking. ¡°I don¡¯t mind. He¡­uh, he passed away earlier this year. It wasn¡¯t a planned pregnancy, and unfortunately, I never had a chance to tell him.¡± I can feel the familiar tears burning my nose and threatening to fall from my eyes, but I quickly blink them back and push off the nagging guilt that my child¡¯s father isn¡¯t ever going to be here. ¡°Oh God, I¡¯m so sorry.¡± His eyes flash with embarrassment and sympathy, and I reach out to grab his hand¡ªreassuring him that he hasn¡¯t offended me. ¡°It¡¯s okay. You didn¡¯t know. I¡¯ve had time to come to terms with it, and I¡¯m excited for he or she to come.¡± ¡°I can imagine. I¡¯ve got to say, if you hadn¡¯t told me about the baby, I never would have guessed you were expecting.¡± Page 16 ¡°Oh trust me, you can definitely tell. I swear, if my feet swell any more, I¡¯ll end up barefoot before I even hit the halfway mark,¡± I laugh and go to take another bite of my burger when I notice that Phil¡¯s gone oddly silent. His eyes, which had a spark of heat behind them, are now full-out blaring.Advertisement ¡°Are you okay?¡± I question. He doesn¡¯t say anything for the longest time. His jaw ticks a few times and his eyes just burn into mine. It isn¡¯t until he reaches under the table with one tan forearm to obviously adjust himself that the alarm bells start going off. And to think, it was going so well. ¡°Phil?¡± ¡°What? Oh, Jesus. I¡¯m sorry. Look, I¡¯m going to be honest with you because I feel like we should start our relationship with complete honesty.¡± He pauses, looks me dead in the eyes, and waits a beat. I¡¯m still stuck back at relationship, so it takes me a second to realize that he¡¯s still talking. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t even know when it started.¡± ¡°When what started? I¡¯m sorry. I spaced out there for a second,¡± I apologize. ¡°I can imagine. It¡¯s pretty hot, isn¡¯t it?¡± He wiggles his eyebrows, and I notice for the first time how perfectly shaped they are. ¡°What is pretty hot?¡± ¡°Tell me please. What color are they?¡± he practically pants. ¡°Phil, stick with me, okay? What is hot and what color are you talking about?¡± Frustration is getting the best of me, and I can feel my crazy pregnancy hormones kicking in because I¡¯m two seconds away from throwing my burger in his face. Which would be a shame because it really is delicious. ¡°Your toes. God, just the thought of them swollen and ripe has my mouth watering. I bet they¡¯re red hot and juicy, aren¡¯t they?¡± He hisses out a breath, and I can see his forearm flex. I have to fight back a gag when I picture what his hand is clearly doing under the table¡­at the thought of my toes?! ¡°I can¡¯t wait to get those little piggies in my mouth,¡± he moans. ¡°Get them all wet and let you take over from there.¡± ¡°Excuse me?¡± I shriek, drawing the attention of the nearby tables. He doesn¡¯t even seem fazed when his eyes darken even more. ¡°Babe, let¡¯s get the check. My ass is clenching just imagining you sticking those feet near my body.¡± Holy. Shit. There is no freaking way he is serious right now. ¡°It¡¯s got you hot, doesn¡¯t it? Thinking about me sucking on your feet until your toes, your swollen toes, are nice and wet? It has me so turned on right now that I bet I won¡¯t even need to use lube this time.¡± ¡°Phil, I think you have definitely got the wrong impression here. These piggies aren¡¯t going anywhere near any hole you have in your body.¡± Looking around frantically, I catch the eye of our waitress and signal that we need the check. I look over at Phil¡ªdisgusting, perverted, foot-fetish Phil¡ªand pray that she hurries the hell up. Chapter 10 ¨C Asher I¡¯ve been in a foul mood since Chelcie and I shared that kiss. All I can think about is how she melted into my body, just as hot as I was to see where that kiss was going. The last thing I¡¯d expected was for her to pull the emergency brake on it. How she can possibly think that I find her anything close to chubby is beyond me. Her body has curves in every place that is meant to drive a man wild. Just thinking about my hands holding her hips as I take her¡­ Goddamn, it¡¯s the hottest thing that¡¯s been playing on repeat since the first time I saw her bend over to pick something up. Those hips, that ass¡ªfuck me. She¡¯s one hundred percent woman and I love every single inch of it. For the first time in my life, I want a woman who wants nothing to do with me. I crave her, and I have the worst feeling that I¡¯ve done something to make her doubt that. The fleeting memory of her standing in front of me with tears raining down her face flashes through my mind momentarily, there one second and gone the next. I know I¡¯ve made a lot of mistakes, I¡¯ve drunk too much, and there are so many holes in my mind that I fear I might have done something during one of my drinking benders that has done permanent damage to the relationship we started to form. Before I can analyze the thought any further, my phone starts to ring. ¡°Dee?¡± ¡°Oh, dear Asher James. How are you this fine day?¡± she sings through the line. ¡°Uh, I¡¯m fine. How are you?¡± ¡°Fine, just fine. So tell me¡ªwhat are you doing today?¡± She¡¯s up to something. Dee¡¯s been up my ass since we met, always trying to meddle in my business, and this phone call is screaming devious Dee. ¡°About to head over to the gym. Why?¡± ¡°Well, see¡­I¡¯m over at Sway¡¯s getting my hair done and the guys are all real busy. Is there anyway that you could swing over to Fat Jacks and grab us some burgers? I¡¯m really¡ªreally¡ªin the mood for some of their burgers.¡± ¡°You want me to get you lunch? Doesn¡¯t Sway have staff there that takes care of that crap for you?¡± Unbelievable. ¡°Oh. They¡¯re all out right now. You know, slow day, so he told them to go out and enjoy a long break. It¡¯s just a few of us here.¡± Right. ¡°What about Davey? Pretty sure he wouldn¡¯t mind grabbing his boyfriend, and you, some food.¡± She¡¯s silent for a second. Then I hear the phone rustling against her hand, her muffled voice talking to someone near her. ¡°He¡¯s out. Sick.¡± ¡°He¡¯s sick?¡± I question, knowing damn well that she¡¯s full of shit but curious enough to wonder what she¡¯s playing out. ¡°Yup. So Fat Jacks?¡± ¡°Dee, cut to the chase. What are you up to?¡± ¡°Shit,¡± she hisses. I can hear Sway yelling at her in the distance a few seconds before the phone is clearly ripped from her hands. ¡°Asher, you tall glass of water, did you miss me? Of course you did. Look, what Dee here is so clearly terrible at is subtlety. I¡¯m going to be honest with you, okay?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± As curious as I am, I can feel it coming. I just know that whatever is coming is going to set some sort of ball rolling, especially if Sway has a part in it. I just have to hope it¡¯s a calm situation they¡¯re about to get me into. ¡°Sway here has noticed recently that you¡¯ve got those sexy cerulean eyes trained on our fine little Chelcie. Oh yes, I noticed those fireworks shooting all over the place, and it¡¯s a wonder no one got burned. So Sway here is doing you a favor, darling. I just got word from little miss Denise that Chelcie is currently on a date. As we speak, she¡¯s sitting that lush body down and having a meat-filled lunch. So if you want to make sure the only meat she¡¯s partaking in is the burger variety, I suggest you take those hot buns and get over to Fat Jacks. You got that, love?¡± Page 17 That ball that¡¯s been sitting in my gut, slowly burning hotter at each word he has spoken, is starting to uncoil, spreading a wrath like no other to have spread throughout my body. My woman is out with another man? Oh. Hell. No. I click the phone off before grabbing my keys and storming out the door. Maddox looks up from grabbing his duffel off the floor, his eyes questioning the mood that is following me out the door. I vaguely hear him remind me that I¡¯m watching Cat again until he gets home. Not willing to waste a single second on the fucking elevator, I start running at full speed down the twenty-seven flights of stairs.Advertisement The only thing I have my mind set on is getting to Fat Jacks as quickly as I can and claiming MY woman. For fucking good. Chapter 11 ¨C Chelcie He¡¯s still looking at my toes. My skin is crawling with the way he¡¯s looking at my poor toes. I¡¯ve tried everything to shift his attention from my feet, but he literally just moved closer and is looking under the table¡­at my feet. I¡¯m cursing my outfit now. Earlier today, it seemed like a good idea to wear the cute, new open-toed flats I¡¯d picked up. I haven¡¯t worn them yet, and I loved the way my red-painted toes peeked out of the shoe. They made me feel sexy before. Now, all I want to do is find about ten pairs of socks and hide my feet for the rest of my life. ¡°Oh God, flex them again,¡± he slurs. I wouldn¡¯t have been able to stop the gag that came bubbling out if I¡¯d had a gun pointed to my head. ¡°Please stop,¡± I beg. ¡°Let me touch them,¡± he wheezes, and before I can stop him, he has my ankle in his hands, my foot in his lap, and my shoe popped off and he is basically masturbating my big toe. The burger I had so lovingly devoured not even ten minutes ago is churning in my stomach. Unwilling to cause a scene, I squeeze my eyes closed and pray that I will just die on spot. ¡°Get your fucking hands off my woman.¡± My eyes snap open at the venom-filled voice at my back. ¡°Drop her goddamn foot now before I rip your hands off your body.¡± The danger in his threat causes me to shiver, and his hand is immediately at the base of my neck. His fingers curl and flex against my skin, causing me to shiver again. All thoughts of my poor, molested toes completely fly out the window. ¡°Being as she is here as my date, I think it¡¯s safe to say that she isn¡¯t your woman.¡± Oh what an idiot. ¡°You have two goddamn seconds to remove your hands before I take your fingers and break each one. Then, when I¡¯m done, I¡¯ll snap your wrist before moving to your fucking elbows. And if I feel like being nice, I might leave your arms at that. She. Is. Mine.¡± I try to remove my foot from his hold, but his fingers clamp tightly around my ankle, causing me to whimper from the pain. Neither one of them notices, but as the tension climbs between the two of them, Phil¡¯s fingers get tighter and tighter. Asher¡¯s hand is still holding me at the base of my neck, and it feels as if the two are having some weird tug-of-war minus the tug. I whimper again when Phil¡¯s fingers get even firmer against my skin. I can feel my toes, those damn toes, starting to tingle with the loss of blood flow, and just when I thought his hold couldn¡¯t get any more painful, he proves me wrong. The raw cry that escapes my lips shocks even me and has both of the men whipping their eyes in my direction. Phil takes my cry as one of pleasure, and I can see him puffing out his chest. Asher comes around, not removing his hold but curling his fingers up the side of my neck and holding my cheek in his palm. His eyes look into mine for a beat. I can see the vehement intensity of his anger in those beautiful blue eyes. His gaze travels down my body until he sees the cause of my pain. When he looks quickly back up at me, I see the danger in his observation. He never breaks his stare. I see his other hand move in my peripheral, but I don¡¯t dare break the connection to him. I hear Phil cry out in pain a second before my leg is dropped. Asher doesn¡¯t waste a second. After pulling out his wallet, he throws a few bills down then scoops me up in his arms and marches out the doors. I duck my head in the crook of his neck, running my nose along his warm skin and feeling safe. Safe and protected. He doesn¡¯t say anything. Walking with a steadfast determination to his Jeep, he unlocks the door with ease then sets me gently down before buckling my belt and jogging over to his side. And just like that, we¡¯re taking off towards the apartment at a speed that matches the rapid beats of my heart. Chapter 12 ¨C Asher I can¡¯t stop the rage that has fully consumed my every emotion. I can¡¯t even focus without seeing a red haze clouding my vision. When I walked through those doors and saw that motherfucker¡¯s hands on Chelcie, I believed myself capable of murder. Cold, hard murder, and I didn¡¯t give a fuck that I had witnesses surrounding me. My soul was demanding that I claim what is mine¡ªthat I tear that piece of shit to pieces for even breathing her air. He¡¯s lucky the only thing I did was snap his wrist to get him to remove his hold on her body. That still didn¡¯t satisfy the primal animal that is snarling to be set free. It¡¯s the same feeling I get when I think about what happened to Coop. That need to wrong a right, to claim what¡¯s mine. Images of Chelcie, her eyes closed and his fingers touching her feet, bombard my mind again, and I swerve my Jeep over a few lanes. Pulling off onto the shoulder of the highway, I rip off my seatbelt and jump out of the Jeep before slamming the door with enough force to rock the whole vehicle. I¡¯m fighting every instinct in my system to turn the car around and kill. I¡¯m at war with myself and I am too out of control to correct it. I need to claim, to mark, and to prove that she is mine. I pace back and forth in short successions before stopping in my tracks and whipping my head around to look back at Chelcie. I was expecting her anger, but when I look back and see her curled forward with her shoulders shaking violently, I immediately rush back to the Jeep. This time, I bypass my door and jerk hers open. She shoots up and hiccups a sob before crumbling again. This time, it isn¡¯t herself she is escaping to. No, she lunges forward, almost falling out of the Jeep, and wraps her arms forcefully around my neck. Pulling my hips back slightly, I move her body so that her legs are hanging out the side of the Jeep. I push them lightly apart and step in between her thighs. She immediately wraps her long legs around my hips and all but crawls inside my body. I stand there, running my hands down her back, and let her take every ounce of strength I have in my body. I can feel her trembling against me, her tears soaking my shirt, and her heaving breath against my neck. I just keep running my hands down her back and press my lips to her head. The feel of her body and the smell that never fails to make me roll my eyes in yearning combined with the adrenaline that is still thundering through my body does nothing to help ease the need I feel to claim. Page 18 To make her mine. Without speaking a word, not trusting myself to even open up my mouth, I reach my hands up and unwind her body from mine. She looks up at me with confusion before shock takes over her features and she jerks her body back in the seat.Advertisement ¡°Don¡¯t even think about it,¡± I seethe. Her eyes flash, but she visibly tries to relax her protective posture. I take a few steadying breaths before I walk back to the driver¡¯s side and pull back into traffic. It¡¯s time that Chelcie and I have a long, overdue chat. I want to know what the hell she¡¯s hiding, and more importantly, I need to make sure she understands just where the hell things stand between us. The drive back to the apartments doesn¡¯t take long in reality, but with the thick anticipation of what is to come coating the air around us, it feels like hours. Chelcie hasn¡¯t spoken, not one word. Her silence is alarming. I¡¯m used to her sweet murmurs¡ªthe snarky bursts of fiery attitude she normally keeps closed off from others¡ªand most importantly, that deep-rooted desire that is usually blazing in those brown-gold pools. I hate this closed-off, scared version of her, and I¡¯m almost afraid to believe that it could be me she¡¯s afraid of. We pull up, park, and silently make our way past a smiling Joe and into the elevator. She goes to press the button for her floor, but I grab her lightly, pulling her flush with my body. ¡°No,¡± I growl, the primal sound shocking even my own ears. ¡°Please,¡± she pleads, her eyes round with what I can only guess is panic. ¡°Sunshine, would I ever hurt you? Get that look off your beautiful face,¡± I murmur. Lightly pressing my lips to hers, I take a deep, reassuring breath when I feel her body relax slightly in my arms. ¡°You scare the ever-loving shit out of me, Ash. We need to talk, and right now, I¡¯m just trying to take a moment to get over the fact that when you hear what I have to say¡­you could hate me forever.¡± ¡°A little dramatic, don¡¯t you think?¡± She doesn¡¯t say anything, just looks up at me with pain very evident in her eyes. Even with the anger from Fat Jacks still surfing through my body, I can feel the trace of apprehension starting to take hold of my skin. ¡°You don¡¯t get it, Ash. There are things I haven¡¯t told you, things that could change the way you think you feel for me. Things that could change everything, and I have no clue how to get past this. Don¡¯t you see? Don¡¯t you see how much you mean to me? I¡¯m not sure I could handle you not wanting to be a part of my life anymore¡ªeven if it is just as friends.¡± My brow creases with her words. ¡°You¡¯re going to realize real soon that when I say you¡¯re mine, I mean it. We¡¯ve been dancing around this for way too long.¡± The earlier feelings of uncontrollable anger over her being out with another man threaten to take hold of me again. It¡¯s taking every thread of control to keep myself calm. To stop myself from throwing her on the floor of the damn elevator and showing her just how mine she really is. ¡°And before the day is over, there will be no fucking doubt in that pretty little head just how much I mean that.¡± Her eyes darken, but not out of the desire I wish I saw. No, this time they get darker with her sadness, and I wish there was something, anything, I could do to take that from her. (Chelcie) While sitting in the car on the way back to the apartments, I busy myself with trying to figure out what just happened. I¡¯m almost positive that Asher just¡­claimed me? My ankle is killing me from where crazy Phil had his hands crushing deep into the muscles and tendons. I¡¯m pretty sure I¡¯m going to have a huge welt-like bruise when I get a good look at it. The ride up is more heavy silence. The tension between us is so abundant that I keep shaking uncontrollably. I don¡¯t fear Asher. Even when he was at his drunkest, his meanest, and his worst, I never feared him. It¡¯s almost been as if his pain was my own, which even to my own mind makes no sense. Sure, we¡¯ve grown as close as two friends who have red-hot chemistry can get, but ever since the day that I met him, I knew there was potential for something so powerful that I¡¯m not sure I would come out the same person in the end. He makes me feel alive. And completely untethered to my own sense of reality. I¡¯m not exactly na?ve when it comes to men and relationships. I¡¯ve had a few steady boyfriends, but nothing that I was really willing to invest myself one hundred percent in. I haven¡¯t been avoiding being in a committed relationship, but I¡¯ve also been unwilling to give myself to someone who clearly wasn¡¯t eager to look at me as anything other than a warm body. Which is one of the main reasons I¡¯ve avoided acting on the attraction between Asher and me. That and the obvious elephant in the room. And in the back of my mind, I have to be honest with myself. Sure, we have a friendship¡ªas precarious as it seems at the moment¡ªand the combustible attraction¡­ But when he finds out about the baby, how do I know that, if he still wants something from me, it isn¡¯t going to be just because I¡¯m carrying a part of his brother. With a deep sigh, I lean back against the elevator car and mentally prepare myself for what is to come. Chapter 13 ¨C Chelcie ¡°How did you know I was there?¡± I question when Asher all but slams the door, trapping me in a room I¡¯m not quite sure I want to be in. Well, that¡¯s a lie¡ªmy body wants to be here, but my mind wants to run. He doesn¡¯t turn around right away. He stands at the door, his hands braced on the thick wood and his breathing hard and heavy. His very presence alone is so strong and demanding that the air around us feels alive. I wouldn¡¯t have been able to control the thick shudder that flies through my body if I¡¯d tried. ¡°Dee¡ªwell, Sway. Dee and Sway.¡± He still doesn¡¯t turn around, and it takes just a second for the blinding anger to take over my body. Damn them! ¡°Don¡¯t be pissed at them, Sunshine. I¡¯m damn happy they let me know where to find you. Tell me¡ªdid you like that asshole touching you?¡± He finally turns, and the look on his face causes me to take a giant step back. He stalks me¡ªpredator to his prey¡ªand I keep matching him step for step until my ass hits the wall. My shoulders pressed back as much as I can¡ªpraying that the wall will just swallow me whole. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you how it made me feel. Walking in to see his fingers closed around your slim ankle, the look in his eyes when he was lost in whatever fantasy held him captive¡­to see another man with his hands on my woman¡­ Do you want to know how I felt? Look at me,¡± he demands. ¡°I felt a depth of wrath I didn¡¯t know existed. A red-hazed fury chanting at me to kill. I wanted to rip his arms off his body and beat him with the hands that dared to touch WHAT. IS. MINE.¡± Page 19 I gasp. Of course I do. My words have completely left me. He just looks at me, those beautiful eyes that show so much of his emotions just taking me in. The emotions crossing his face go from angry to blazing with desire in a matter of seconds, and before I can even get a word out, his lips are feasting on mine. This kiss blows anything we¡¯ve ever shared out of the water. This is a hungry possession of my soul. A claiming of my body. And I love every second of it.Advertisement My hands, having a mind of their own, pull at the fabric of his shirt, moving it up his body, desperate for the feel of his skin against my fingertips. He tears his mouth from mine, panting with exertion, and rips the shirt over his head. I watch as the fabric sails over his shoulder and lands on the lamp hanging over the dining room table. When my eyes move back to his, they¡¯re still scorching my skin with the intensity of his need. His need for me. ¡°Ash, we need to talk,¡± I try. ¡°No. What we need to do is stop talking. Talking doesn¡¯t help shit, Chelcie.¡± His words are pushed past his lips, still swollen from our kiss, just seconds before he crashes his mouth back to mine. My body is just as treacherous as it was the first time. The ball of desire starts to tingle through my system, shorting all common sense with just the feel of his skin against my hands. Those hands that are currently running up his back, digging my nails in when I feel his strong arms reach my ass before lifting me up. We stand there, lips battling each other for power, hips slowly rocking together, and our breathing floating through the room. It isn¡¯t until I feel his hands start to lift my shirt off my body that I feel all sense of desire run from my body and replace my veins with ice-cold panic. The hands that were just loving every inch they could touch suddenly feel like they¡¯re burning. I rip my mouth from his and start to push him away with every ounce of strength I have. ¡°Oh, God. Asher¡­you have to stop.¡± He leans back enough to give me some space but still keeps his hips pressed tightly against mine. ¡°Please. Move,¡± I beg. Something in my eyes must have convinced him just how close to snapping in two I am, because he helps me gain my footing and steps back. ¡°I don¡¯t like the look you¡¯re giving me, Chelcie. I understand if this is too much or too quick, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m going to go sit on my fucking thumb so you can dance around this anymore.¡± He paces a few steps, looking at me between running his hands through his hair, his eyes violent. The tension climbs higher with every second I take to try and work my thoughts out. He goes to speak, but the ringing of his cell takes over the tense silence. ¡°Fuck!¡± He looks at the screen, throwing out a few more expletives. ¡°This isn¡¯t done. Not by a long shot. Shit. Sit down and I¡¯ll be right back. Then¡­then we can talk.¡± He makes it down the hallway, stepping into what I remember as the guest room, and I don¡¯t even give him a second to shut the door before I grab my discarded purse and bolt out the door. This conversation is definitely long overdue, but it will be on my turf. Plus, I have two meddling queens to take care of first. Chapter 14 ¨C Chelcie After having Joe call me a taxi, I make the short drive to Sway¡¯s salon. It does not do one damn thing to calm me down. I can¡¯t believe that the one person who has been telling me that I need to move on, get back on the horse, live a little, is the same person who ratted me out to the one person I know could take my heart and smash it into a million little pieces. The attraction between Asher and me has always been too much. Burning too bright. And as much as I love that about us, I also fear it. Until he knows about the baby, I won¡¯t feel right acting on any of that. Not to mention that, after he finds out, he probably won¡¯t like me enough to want to start anything. The last thing I want to do is cloud his loyalties with sex. When I tell him¡ªand I will tell him¡ªI want him to be able to walk away without the thought of whatever we have between us hanging thick. But I would be lying if I didn¡¯t admit that a little part of me hopes that he still feels the same about me. And that he won¡¯t want me just because of what my baby can give him. A family. Not with me, no, but with a part of his brother that will live on. I know I shouldn¡¯t worry about that, but I¡¯m only human, and it doesn¡¯t help that I have been living in hormone overdrive for the last few months. Sway sees me about two seconds before I fling the door open and stomp over to where he¡¯s working on Dee¡¯s hair. I say ¡®working¡¯ loosely because he¡¯s really just sitting there brushing her brunette hair between his flamboyant arm waving. He smiles brightly, completely unconcerned with the pissed-off pregnant woman marching through his salon. ¡°I wonder how it¡¯s going,¡± Dee giggles, clearly having not noticed me yet. ¡°Dee, darling, shut up,¡± he whispers with a smirk. ¡°Do you think he threw her over his shoulder and dragged her off to his cave? I bet he did. He looks like a dragger.¡± She snickers for a second before her eyes lift and they meet mine. Brown to brown. Shock to anger. If I didn¡¯t love her so much and know deep down in my heart that she meant well, I would kill her. Or maybe just pelt her in the head with my damn open-toed shoes! ¡°I¡¯ll tell you how he acted, you idiot. He marched in there and saved me from the toe-sucking maniac. And then he dragged me off, because let me tell you, he is a good dragger!¡± ¡°Uh¡­ Hey, Chelcie,¡± she stalls. ¡°Yeah. Hey, me. Was this the plan to begin with? Just play with me until you could set Asher up to go all crazy man on me?¡± ¡°Sweetheart, it really was for the best,¡± Sway interjects, not even bothering to look guilty. No, not Sway. Sway has a reason for everything he does. ¡°The best for what exactly?¡± I demand. ¡°And how do you even know?¡± I hiss. ¡°Sweet little ray of sunshine¡±¡ªI cringe at the use of Asher¡¯s nickname for me¡ª¡°you¡¯ve been sitting on your gorgeous ass for months, not willing to move forward. You¡¯ve closed yourself off from everything except Dee, work, and the baby. I¡¯ve seen the two of you, and trust me, honey¡ªSway knows attraction when he sees it. What you and that hunky man have is something combustible. You needed a nudge¡ªyou got one. Dee here was just the helper bee. She buzzed right on over to my ear and asked for my help. Buzz, buzz.¡± Page 20 ¡°The helper bee,¡± I repeat, not even shocked that Dee has filled him in on everything. ¡°That¡¯s what I said. I told her, we need some men that would make you realize just what¡¯s been staring you in the face. Make you move the heck on, darling.¡±Advertisement ¡°You¡¯re joking, right?¡± Jesus, how stupid have I been? ¡°Afraid not, baby.¡± He leans closer and pets my hair. Literally pets me, smiling his beautiful smile and causing some of my anger to fall away. ¡°You?¡± I question Dee. ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Chelcie. I really am, but you weren¡¯t going to act on it. Hell, I don¡¯t even think you had plans to ever tell him about the baby. Wrong or right, now¡­ Well, now it looks like you¡¯re not going to have a chance because shit is about to get really real.¡± I can¡¯t even be mad at them. They¡¯re right. I¡¯ve been dragging my feet. Letting the fear of the unknown and the very real attraction between Asher and myself cloud what is really important right now. The baby. Because when push comes to shove, whatever is or isn¡¯t between me and Asher is second to my sweet baby. ¡°You¡¯re right. I¡¯m not mad. Well, maybe a little mad for Phil, but I know you two are coming from the right place.¡± Dee goes to say something but stops quickly, snapping her mouth shut, her eyes widening. Sway just bounces on the balls of his heels and claps his hands. I¡¯m actually pretty sure he just squealed. ¡°Oh, Dee¡­look! It¡¯s happening!¡± ¡°What¡¯s happening?¡± I inquire a second before it happens. The front door to Sway¡¯s salon bursts open so hard that it snaps on its hinges. I know what¡¯s coming before I even hear my name being growled¡ªyes, growled. ¡°Chelcie!¡± The sound erupts through the room. My shoulders stiffen, but I turn and meet his eyes. ¡°Get. Over. Here.¡± I look back at Dee and Sway, hoping for some help but I only get blazing smiles and sharp nods. Lovely. Of course the matchmaker duo isn¡¯t going to help me. ¡°Now, Chelcie,¡± he declares again. I obviously am not moving at a pace quick enough to placate his request because he takes the ten steps to me from the door in five and lightly grabs my wrist, pulling me forward and out the door. Proving Dee¡¯s theory right. He is a wonderful dragger. The whole ride back to the apartments is maddening. I can tell he¡¯s pissed by the white-knuckle grip he has on the steering wheel. His jaw keeps flexing with the control he is so understandably trying to master. It was a bitch move for me to run. I know that, and I feel terrible about it. I could blame it on my hormones, my muddled mind, or even the drunken way his kisses leave me. When it comes down to it though, I ran because I was afraid. The walk past Joe is nice and embarrassing this time. Before Asher can stop me, I press the gold button for the seventeenth floor. Turning to address him, I do my best to give him a shaky smile. ¡°I need to do this in my house. I was wrong to run from you, and I¡¯m sorry. We¡¯re going to talk, but I need it to be in my space.¡± He gives me a tight nod before crossing his thick arms over his chest. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ash. I really am.¡± He studies me for a few seconds, opening his mouth to speak a few times before snapping it shut and shaking his head at me. His eyes close for a second and when they open again and he looks at me with complete understanding, I¡¯m taken aback. So easily he¡¯s able to drop that anger? ¡°I won¡¯t even pretend to understand what¡¯s going through your head right now. You want to talk before I make you mine? That¡¯s what you need to do before I can finally make you mine? Well then, baby, that¡¯s what will happen. Just¡­enough with the running, okay?¡± Let¡¯s see if he feels the same way when we¡¯re done talking. I nod and wait for the elevator to stop at my floor. Here goes nothing. ¡°Do you want anything to drink? I think I have some beer.¡± I wring my hands together, trying to calm my anxiety. ¡°I don¡¯t want anything to drink, Chelcie,¡± he states from his post, leaning against the kitchen island. ¡°Okay. Do you want something to eat? I can make something really quick.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want anything to eat, Chelcie.¡± ¡°Okay. Do you¡ª¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want anything to eat or drink. I don¡¯t need to sit and relax or watch a movie. I don¡¯t have anywhere I need to be or anyone I would rather be with. I¡¯m good, Sunshine. I¡¯m here. Let¡¯s talk.¡± Well. I guess he¡¯s onto my stalling. ¡°Right. Let¡¯s go sit please. I need to sit.¡± He raises a brow but follows me to my living room. I sit in my favorite chair, the one chair that I can curl up on and it¡¯s so fluffy that I sink. It gives me a sense of peace. I know it sounds ridiculous that a chair can give me some peace, but when you feel as alone as I do sometimes, just feeling the comforting pressure of something holding you can mean a lot. Asher walks close to me, his feet bumping into mine, he leans down and scoops me up before he sinks his own body into my chair. He then pulls me down onto his lap and arranges my body so that I¡¯m sitting sideways across his strong thighs. Without knowing where to put my hands, I just let them fall to my lap¡ªwhere I continue to wring my fingers together. ¡°Talk, Sunshine.¡± I jump at his demand and feel his arms constrict around me. ¡°I¡¯ve told you before, you have nothing¡ªnot one damn thing¡ªto be afraid of when you¡¯re with me. Why do you keep acting like I¡¯m going to hurt you?¡± I take a deep, much-needed breath. ¡°Because, Asher¡­ Because you hold the power to crush me, just like I hold the power to do the same to you.¡± ¡°The last thing I want is to hurt you in any way,¡± he argues. ¡°I know that, and I feel the same way.¡± ¡°So what exactly is the problem? I know we have a lot to learn about each other, Chelcie, but you¡¯ve been there for me since Coop died, there when everyone else was getting frustrated because I didn¡¯t know how to let him go. You¡¯ve been there when I needed you the most. There¡¯s plenty of time for us to learn every little thing about each other, but what I already know is enough for me to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you belong to me.¡± He lightly grabs my chin with his firm hand, turning my head and giving me a sweet kiss against my lips before resting his forehead against mine. Page 21 ¡°This is so hard,¡± I sigh. ¡°So damn hard.¡± ¡°So just say it. What is so big that you would rather go out with douchebags than admit that what we have is worth something to you? You melted for me, Chelc. Melted.¡±Advertisement ¡°Give me a second okay? I just need to figure out how to explain everything.¡± I weigh my options before I realize that there is no easy way to drop all of this on him. So I just start at the beginning. ¡°You know about everything that went down with Dee, right? Last year, when she almost died?¡± He nods but doesn¡¯t say anything and lets me set the pace. ¡°I was the one who found her. Did you know that?¡± He shakes his head, still remaining silent. ¡°That did something to me, Ash. I don¡¯t know how to explain it. Finding her, the one person I¡¯ve had in my life who means so much. A sister without the blood relations. Seeing her that close to death made me panic. I really think that I was in some sort of shock. I don¡¯t know. It doesn¡¯t make what I did right, but when comfort was offered, I took it. One night, one time, but I needed to feel alive. I needed it.¡± I swallow the growing lump in my throat and look into his eyes, needing to know how he¡¯s going to handle this. ¡°I slept with Coop,¡± I whisper so lightly that, if it weren¡¯t for his arms around me and my face inches from his own, I don¡¯t think he would have heard me. His eyes flash and his arms go solid, but he doesn¡¯t speak. I wait, wait for him to say something¡ªanything¡ªfor a solid minute. ¡°You slept with my brother?¡± he asks. I can¡¯t tell if he¡¯s upset or just processing it. His tone sounds neutral, but his eyes are telling me another story. ¡°I did. It¡¯s not something I¡¯m proud of. I used him, Ash. Well, I guess, in a way, we used each other. It happened, and while I can admit it was a mistake, I don¡¯t regret it.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t fucking regret it?¡± he questions, this time not masking his anger. ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± I straighten my back and get ready for the toughest part. ¡°Clear something up for me, Chelcie. While I¡¯ve been thinking we¡¯ve been starting something, have I been some second-place consolation prize for my brother? Because, let me tell you, I¡¯ve been there, done that, and got the fucking T-shirt. That isn¡¯t something I ever want to experience again.¡± I frown, trying to make sense of his exclamation. He reaches up and lightly caresses the wrinkle between my brow before he realizes what he¡¯s doing and drops his hand, his face looking confused and¡­pained. ¡°I didn¡¯t then nor do I now have feelings like that for your brother. I will always respect and admire his strength and bravery, but as far as any romantic feelings, no. The way I feel about you, that¡¯s all for you.¡± ¡°Then please explain to me how you could not regret sleeping with him?¡± Here it goes. The moment that could very well rip any chance at a relationship between Asher and me apart¡ªor the one that solidifies the bond we¡¯ve felt tugging us together since day one. ¡°Almost a month after that one night¡­maybe closer to a month and a half¡ªI can¡¯t remember. It took me a while to even admit it to myself. To believe that my selfish need to feel alive had succeeded in proving that. In driving it home in one tiny plus sign.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not following you here, Chelcie.¡± ¡°I¡¯m pregnant, Asher. I¡¯m pregnant with Coop¡¯s baby. He didn¡¯t know because he¡­ Well, he didn¡¯t know because of everything that happened, and before I could tell him, it was too late.¡± ¡°What?¡± I keep looking into his stunning blue eyes, which are now a beautiful light-navy color, showing me with crystal-clear clarity just how much pain my admission is bringing him. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I¡¯m so damn sorry. I wanted to tell you and I had every intention in telling you, but there never seemed to be a good time.¡± Even to my own ears, it sounds like shit. I should have told him the second I met him. ¡°You fucking think?¡± he yells. He moves, standing up from the chair with me still locked in his arms, and sets me back down before pacing away from me. Getting as far from me as he can. ¡°You¡¯ve¡­ Jesus Christ! You¡¯re pregnant with Coop¡¯s baby? No good time,¡± he mutters, continuing his pacing. ¡°How could you keep this from me, Chelcie? Were you ever really going to tell me?¡± he shouts. ¡°Of course I was!¡± I defend. ¡°Yeah? When? When I fell for the little games you¡¯ve been playing with my mind? When you went into labor? Shit, how were you going to hide a belly? Because let me tell you, I never would have guessed you¡¯re pregnant now!¡± I know he¡¯s hurt. He¡¯s hurt and I did this to him, to us. I stand as straight as I can, trying my best to keep it together and let him have this. Let him get it out. I can only hope that, when he¡¯s done, he can find it in his heart to forgive me. I just haven¡¯t decided if I deserve his forgiveness. ¡°I can¡¯t even look at you right now without my anger getting the best of me. This isn¡¯t done, but right now, I need to get the fuck away from you before I say something I¡¯m going to regret.¡± I nod, not trusting myself to speak with the tears burning my nose and the lump climbing back up my throat. I¡¯m seconds away from completely falling apart. He looks at me for a few more seconds before turning on his heels and storming through the front door. I hear it slam, and it¡¯s all I need for my body to give the emotions permission to burst forth. I crumble to the ground and cry. I cry for everything I¡¯ve stupidly done. I cry for Coop, our baby, Asher, and every single unknown second of my future. I cry until I have nothing left. It¡¯s only then that I notice the sun that was bright in the sky is now gone and my apartment is pitch black. I don¡¯t even stop to turn on the lights as I make my way down the hall, stripping down to my bra and panties on the way and curling beneath the thick blankets on my bed. I wish that the smooth fabric were the arms I so desperately need to be holding me tight. Chapter 15 ¨C Asher ¡°You senseless little fuck,¡± the voice slurs. ¡°Where is your stupid fucking brother?¡± it asks again. I don¡¯t want to open my eyes. I know there is no reasoning with her when she gets like this. I keep praying one day that she just won¡¯t come home. That she will crash her car into a tree, pick up the wrong man for an easy lay, and end up dead like other stupid chicks on the TV. That she might overdose on one of the millions of pills she drops down her throat. Page 22 Anything but deal with her when she¡¯s like this. I can¡¯t just leave because Coop needs to finish high school, and with just two years to go before his graduation, I¡¯ll suffer through my egg donor¡¯s shit if it means we can graduate and leave¡ªnever looking back. We¡¯ve had it planned since the day I turned sixteen. We would wait until he finishes high school and then get the hell out of the small town in Texas we¡¯ve grown up in. Get the hell out and make a life for ourselves that we can be proud of.Advertisement We¡¯re joining the Marines. And we¡¯re going to be free of this vile bitch. Coop¡¯s still small for his age. I started growing and never stopped until I towered over my mother, well over six feet. Coop¡¯s body, having always lacked the right nutrition to help him grow, seems to be taking its time. I could care less if my brother stays scrawny for the rest of his life. Doesn¡¯t matter to me. The one thing that has changed is his timid nature. He¡¯s finally starting to come into his own. And the chicks around town don¡¯t care if he¡¯s not the tallest, bulkiest, or most popular. Coop started channeling his hurt and pain into humor, and the chicks love it. ¡°Well! Where is that piece of shit?¡± Finally having had enough of her shrieking, I peel my eyes open and take her in. I¡¯m sure she was attractive when she was younger. Her eyes, which might have been bright and vibrant blue, are now dull and dirty. Like bathwater after you¡¯re done bathing. Her skin might have been smooth and youthful at one point, but now it has a disgusting gray tint to it. Her arms, stretched out at her sides, show the clearly visible track lines. Her body is nothing but a tiny mass of skin and bones. Worthless. Disgusting. The reason I¡¯ve believed for as long as I can remember that women will do nothing but hurt you. I fucking hate her. ¡°You gonna answer me, you stupid shit? I knew you were a dumb-fuck. Knew it before you were even born. Your brother is just as dumb as you. Bet that¡¯s why your piece-of-shit father ran off. Couldn¡¯t stand to face that he couldn¡¯t make real men.¡± I clench my fist, wishing¡ªnot for the first time¡ªthat I believed in hitting women. Regardless of how much I hate her, I still won¡¯t raise my fist to her. ¡°Should have terminated you two bastards when I had the chance,¡± she grumbles under her breath. ¡°I hate you!¡± I turn my head sharply to the left when I hear Coop¡¯s voice cracking with puberty, shaking with vehemence. ¡°I hate you so much!¡± he repeats. I should stop him. Tell him to go back to bed and deal with the beating I¡¯m sure will follow this drunken rage of hers. ¡°Well, isn¡¯t that sweet, bastard boy? I hate you right fucking back!¡± She starts to move. Actually, she starts to tip forward in what I assume is a move to get to Coop, but I step in her path. I refuse to let her take this shit out on him. My body is bigger. I can take it. ¡°Move, Ash. I need her to know I mean it.¡± He sounds different. Not like he normally does when he hides during her rages. ¡°You sure?¡± I ask, knowing that, even if I let him have this, I can still be here to make sure she doesn¡¯t lay one of her repulsive fingers on him. ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡± ¡°Okay, but I¡¯m right here.¡± ¡°Would you two fucking retards stop whispering?! I¡¯m right in front of you. If you¡¯re finally going to let those little boy balls drop and grow a pair, then by all means, let me have it,¡± she fumes. Coop steps up to stand next to me. He comes up to my shoulders, but right now, in this moment, I feel like he¡¯s ten feet tall. I couldn¡¯t be more proud of him. For standing up for himself and for standing up to this bitch of a mother we¡¯re stuck with. ¡°I¡¯ve hated you for so many years. You¡¯re a terrible person and an even worse mom. I wish you would just die! And I will always remember what happens when you try to love a girl, because I loved you once. Even when you wouldn¡¯t feed us and would beat us. Wouldn¡¯t bathe us or buy us clothes that fit. Even when you would lock us in that closet just because we dared to be alive. I will never let a woman get close to me because I know she would probably end up like you. And I know I will never, ever have any kids because, with my luck, something of you would be in them. I. Hate. You.¡± His breathing is fast, too fast, and I know he¡¯s close to freaking out because never has he ever talked back to her. And if I¡¯m honest, that was the most I have ever heard him say to our mother in almost ten years. She looks confused. Maybe she¡¯s confused because she didn¡¯t know he could talk, but she just stands there for the longest time. Long enough for Coop to calm down. I look over and make sure he¡¯s okay, but before I can make eye contact, I hear her cackle. She starts laughing so hard that she¡¯s bent over, holding her stomach. ¡°Oh, you stupid little shit. Mark my words, Zachariah Cooper. One of these days, you¡¯re gonna knock a bitch up just like your father did to me. That kid is going to be a little shit just like you, and maybe if you¡¯re lucky, she¡¯ll kill that bastard before it¡¯s ever born. Oh yes, you stupid boy, it will happen because there¡¯s too much of your stupid daddy in you to keep that shit in your pants. Not only that, but I hope you get some stupid fuck out of it¡­ Serves you right for poisoning my life for so long.¡± And with that, she stumbles out of the house and into her car and squeals her tires on her way out of the driveway. It takes me longer to calm down than ever before. My deep loathing for that woman has grown even stronger. ¡°She¡¯s wrong, Ash. If I ever have a baby, even an accident like we are, I¡¯ll make sure that baby doesn¡¯t have a life like ours.¡± ¡°Yeah, Coop. I bet you¡¯re right.¡± That night, we both sleep facing each other, his hand firmly placed in mine, our foreheads resting together, and I pray that he¡¯s right. That if we ever do have kids, they¡¯re nothing like HER and they know what love feels like. If that¡¯s even possible. Chapter 16 ¨C Chelcie The first thing I notice when I start to wake up is how warm I am. I¡¯ve always been warm natured, which is why I sleep in as little as possible. I try to wake my mind up enough to take stock in my body. My heavy breasts feel constricted from evidently falling asleep with my bra. At least I remembered to take my socks off; hot feet at night are the worst. The thought of my feet, or more specifically my toes, is what brings it all back. Phil, his creepy toe fetish, Asher, running, Asher, and the baby. It all slams into my mind so powerfully that I¡¯m left shaking and crying again. Page 23 Damn hormones. Even though I¡¯m legitimately upset, I don¡¯t think I would be this much of a mess if I weren¡¯t a walking, talking basket case of hormone overload. The feeling of something tightening against my stomach makes me calm down long enough to make sure the baby is okay. I reach down and scream when I feel warm skin, coarse hair and an arm that does not belong to me.Advertisement What the hell? I start panicking, thinking about how I can get out of here safely. How did someone get in? Oh my God! What if it¡¯s Phil? Did he already suck my toes while I was sleeping? I¡¯m going to die and Phil is going to cut off my toes! ¡°Calm down, Sunshine. I can hear you thinking over here.¡± When I hear Asher¡¯s deep mumble and feel his words vibrate against my back, I scream again and then naturally start crying all over again. Basket. Case. He tightens his grip, his huge hand palming my stomach in such a way that it renders me speechless. His fingers almost span my entire stomach. They twitch and caress¡ªexplore the bump I¡¯ve been falling in love with more and more each day. I calm myself down, my breathing still thick, but the feel of him¡ªthe safety of being in his arms¡ªgives me the needed strength to pull my crybaby act together. ¡°How did you get in?¡± I question. The last thing I remember, after pulling myself off the floor, was going straight to bed. I must have been exhausted to not feel or hear him climb in behind me. ¡°Hmm,¡± he hums against my neck. His nose running along the sensitive skin causes goose bumps to break out against my flesh. ¡°Ash,¡± I whine desperately. My body¡ªmy very horny body¡ªhas been in hibernation mode for so long that just the feeling of his breathing against my neck and his hand holding my stomach makes me feel like I could come on command. ¡°The door was unlocked, which was a gross oversight on my end, but I was lost in my own shit. When I got my head together, I came back to make sure you were okay and found the door open¡­¡± he trails off, leaving us both lying there, wondering what¡¯s next. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Ash.¡± I sigh into the silence, breaking the fragile stillness around us. He doesn¡¯t say anything for a few beats, leaving me teetering on the edge of fear that I¡¯ve ruined what trust we had in each other. ¡°I know you are, Sunshine. I know. It doesn¡¯t make it easy, and I¡¯m sorry I blew up on you.¡± ¡°You were right in your anger. I shouldn¡¯t have kept it from you, but Ash¡­you were in such a bad way for a while after Coop and I¡­ Even though it doesn¡¯t make what I did okay, I was scared to tell you. Afraid you would think the worst of me. It makes none of it okay, but that¡¯s where I was coming from.¡± ¡°You were right,¡± he utters, his voice thick with emotion. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have heard you even if you were standing in front of me with a blow horn. I¡¯ve been asking myself for months why¡­ Why him? What was the point? Why take him from this world? He has always been the better soul out of the two of us, and knowing that he died without me there to protect him¡ªyeah, I wouldn¡¯t have heard you.¡± ¡°How can you think that? The better soul? You really believe that, don¡¯t you?¡± I turn in his arms, reaching up to cup his cheeks in my hands. ¡°I¡¯ll agree with you that Coop was an incredible man. He was there for me when I needed someone to help me feel strong again. He was brave, selfless, and oh so loved. But Ash¡­do you not see that you are just as incredible? I see you, YOU, Ash. I see the man who has been so lost, but fighting with every breath, he has to survive. I don¡¯t know a lot about your past, but I know enough to know that you¡¯re a fighter. You and Coop, you might as well have been built from the same mold because the same fearlessness that he possessed each and every day was obviously learned from his big brother.¡± He looks at me, his heart-stopping eyes fighting the emotion that is raging within, so noticeably stuck in the grief that consumes him. ¡°We didn¡¯t have a good childhood. There is a lot of darkness there. A lot of pain. It¡¯s taken me a long time to be able to push all of that past under the rug. I can¡¯t explain my issues any other way but to tell you about how we grew up and why hearing that Coop left behind a piece of himself affected me the way it did.¡± He takes a deep breath and composes his thoughts; I can practically see the wheels turning. I rub my thumbs along his jaw and wait. ¡°Our mother raised us. Our dad ran out as quickly as he could, and honestly, I don¡¯t blame him. She was, by definition, a monster. We didn¡¯t have food half the time. The power and water were cut off more than they were ever connected. Clothing was always hand-me-downs two sizes too small. From the earliest that I can remember, I was raising Coop. He¡¯s been more than a brother to me for my whole life, and losing him cut me deep¡ªstill cuts me deep. I can¡¯t tell you how many times I stepped in to make sure I was his shield, his protection, against life. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would lose him having not been able to protect him.¡± I so desperately want to cut in, to yell and scream that he isn¡¯t right. It isn¡¯t his fault that Coop died. He didn¡¯t pull the trigger. ¡°He never wanted kids. Ever. But I know, if he were still here, he would love this baby like no other. He¡¯s always had the ability to see the positive in everything. So I guess my point is that, even though he never wanted children, he would have been there. He would have been the best damn father, Chelcie, and I know I can¡¯t replace him¡ªno one can replace him¡­¡± he trails off, clearing his throat a few times before he looks up. The pain in his eyes makes me flinch. ¡°I know we¡¯ve been dancing around this attraction between us, this chemistry¡ªhell, I¡¯ve wanted you since the day I met you. I won¡¯t lie to you, Sunshine. I want to be a part of this baby¡¯s life. I want to be able to show him or her the love that Coop would want. But I don¡¯t want you to think that I¡¯m saying that just because of what is between us. As far as I¡¯m concerned, your carrying Coop¡¯s baby is a blessing I could never even begin to repay you for, but being in your life¡ªmaking you mine¡ªwould be the icing on the cake. I¡¯ll love this baby regardless of whether you want me in your life or not, but God, baby, please let me be the man you both deserve.¡± I was crying softly before, broken for the little boys who were so lost, but now I¡¯m full-out sobbing¡ªgasping for air, choking on my spit, and blubbering out my response. I know he doesn¡¯t understand my words. Even to my own ears, they¡¯re nothing but gibberish. I wipe at my face, wishing I weren¡¯t making such a mess of this. Page 24 ¡°Hold on,¡± I weep, untangling myself from his arms and the sheets, running to the bathroom to clean myself up. His arms close around me while I¡¯m bent over the sink, washing my face. His lips climb up my exposed back, kissing each bump of my spine. His lips blaze a trail of fire until he reaches the base of my neck, stopping to breathe me in. His strong arms wrap protectively around my body. I straighten and meet his eyes in the mirror. My head comes to his collarbone, his striking, blue eyes gazing into my brown ones¡ªbegging me silently to let him in. I break our connection and trace the line of his arms to where they are lying against my stomach, his tan hands standing out against my fair skin. He cradles my bump¡ªmy child¡ªwithin his strong hold. He holds me within his strong arms. And it¡¯s painfully clear to me that if I don¡¯t act on this, don¡¯t let him and his strength in, I will live each day regretting it.Advertisement I turn, bringing my hands up his arms, and curl them around his neck. His hands move from my stomach when I turn and lie heavily against my hips, his fingers digging in when I move to stand on my toes, gaining as much height as I can to reach his lips. ¡°I need you,¡± I whisper against his lips, loving the way his eyes flash and his face goes soft seconds before he claims my mouth. And with that kiss, that claiming of my soul, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I¡¯m forever ruined for anyone else. With that one kiss, that one moment in time, it feels as if I¡¯ve come home. Chapter 17 ¨C Asher Her lips are the drug I¡¯ve been craving. The feel of her body against mine, the heat that is coming off her smooth skin when I trail my hands up her back, drags me under, and it¡¯s like everything around us just vanishes. I¡¯ve never, in all of my thirty-three years, known a feeling like this before. I¡¯m a complete stranger when it comes to relationships; the one time I tried was a disaster of epic proportions. But every instinct I have is telling me to hold on to this woman and never let go. I knew before that I needed to make her mine, but right now, in this moment, I know I could never let her go. As corny as it sounds, as much of a pussy as it makes me, I need her. She moans and it¡¯s like I¡¯ve been shocked. My balls tighten and my cock throbs. Fuck me, I can smell how much she wants me. I pull back, a feral smile curling my lips when I see how dazed she is by our kiss. Her skin is flushed, her breathing is rushed, and her eyes are barely open. She just stands there and continues to play with my hair. Her fingers run through the longer pieces I¡¯ve been too lazy to go get shaped up at the barber, and I make a note to keep it longer if she loves it. Fuck, it feels good. ¡°Sunshine,¡± I murmur, ¡°once I take you¡ªmake you mine¡ªI won¡¯t ever let you go. You¡¯re mine, baby. This body, this heart, and damn sure this pussy. I won¡¯t take you until I know you understand what I¡¯m saying to you.¡± ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t do relationships, Ash?¡± she mocks. ¡°I didn¡¯t. You¡¯re a game changer.¡± ¡°So what are you saying? I¡¯m your girlfriend?¡± Her thin brows crease, and I bring my hand off her hip and slowly rub the skin above her nose that has one hell of a cute wrinkle. ¡°Call it whatever you need to, Chelcie, but just know you are mine.¡± She¡¯s silent for a while. I move my hand and curl it around her neck, adding a little pressure so she knows to come closer. My lips kiss her forehead, her eyes, her nose, and finally, her mouth. ¡°I won¡¯t share you. I wouldn¡¯t be able to handle seeing you with one of those sluts, Asher. If we¡¯re going to do this, I need to know that, if I give myself to you, you¡¯re doing the same. I need complete trust and honesty.¡± ¡°And it¡¯s yours,¡± I whisper against her lips. Her eyes flash, the need that I feel burning through my body shining through those remarkable eyes of hers. This close, I can see the amber color that usually only shows when she¡¯s mad overtaking the brown. Burning for me. ¡°There¡¯s no turning back,¡± I reiterate. ¡°One-way street, baby.¡± I close my eyes and let that word, that endearment, wash over me. I¡¯ve never had that. My mother damn sure never called us anything other than shit. And the only other attempt at a relationship never produced anything like that. It¡¯s almost pathetic how one little word can bring me to my knees, but her hushed baby does. I open my eyes and move the distance needed to feel her lips against mine again. She opens immediately and our tongues roll and dance together. Even though every part of my body is screaming to take her hard, to claim her now, I want to savor every second of this. Running my hands down her back, into her panties, and taking her firm ass in my hands has my cock straining the fabric of my boxer briefs. I haven¡¯t been this hard since I saw my first Playboy and wondered where the hell they had been my whole life. I fucking crave her. Digging my fingers in the tight muscles, I lift and groan when she wraps her legs around my waist. The feeling of her heat against me makes me feel like I¡¯m seconds from coming. I don¡¯t break the kiss for a second, walking blindly towards the bed. Reaching back, I deftly unsnap her bra, easing each strap down her arms before pulling and throwing it over my shoulder. I slowly lower her down. Her back hits the mattress, but I quickly move my hands from her ass to her hips, letting her know not to move her long legs from my waist. Words aren¡¯t needed¡ªnot when our bodies are screaming at each other. Taking my time, I run my fingertips from shoulder to shoulder, tracing the delicate line of her collarbone. I trail my path with my eyes, lazily drinking her in. My hand moves from her collarbone, down the center of her chest before running along the curve of her heavy breast. Her tits are perfect. Heavy and firm. Pink nipples beg for my lips and my teeth. I bring my other hand into play and cup her in my hands, rubbing my thumb across each nipple and loving every second of her eyes widening before she bites her lip and shudders. I move my hands farther down, the goose bumps following their path. Her chest is starting to heave with her effort at keeping still. I can tell how badly she wants me. The evidence is soaking through both of our underwear. ¡°I want you so badly,¡± she moans. ¡°Shh,¡± I have no words for her, no reassurances that I¡¯ll move quicker because I don¡¯t want to. I plan on taking my time with her. When my hands get to her stomach, the stomach that holds my family, I¡¯m momentarily overcome with emotion. I¡¯ve never been one to believe in second chances, at something bigger at play with my life, but knowing that this baby is a part of my brother makes me want to weep. I don¡¯t think that Chelcie will ever know what this means to me. Page 25 ¡°Your stomach is so small,¡± I marvel. Instantly, fear takes the place of awe. ¡°Is everything okay? Shouldn¡¯t you be bigger?¡± She giggles a little, the sound once again going straight to my dick, ¡°Everything¡¯s fine. I¡¯m measuring small, but the doctors say that will change as the weeks pass. I have¡­ I had a rough start to my pregnancy. I was sick a lot.¡±Advertisement I nod, but really, I don¡¯t understand. I make a mental note to ask her and the doctor about it later. My hands continue to caress the smooth skin of her slightly rounded bump. I could stand here for hours, but the legs around my hips squeeze me tighter. ¡°I wasn¡¯t kidding, Ash. I need you. It¡¯s been so long,¡± she whimpers. When I roll my hips against her wet core, she cries out, and I could pump my fist in the air when I realize how receptive she is to me. I motion for her to release my hips, moving my hand to hers and pulling her to the edge of the bed before I kneel between her spread legs. The smell of her arousal is intoxicating. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to have my mouth all over your pussy, drinking every drop you come for me.¡± She moans. I run my fingers over her panties, loving the wetness that is showing through the thin, gray fabric. Leaning forward, I drag my nose along the seam, turning my head dizzy from her scent and biting her inner thigh lightly. When I move back, I can see the outline of her lips and I¡¯m suddenly starving. Hooking my fingers around the fabric I all but rip them from her body. The sight that¡¯s waiting for me has me rethinking this whole ¡®going slow¡¯ nonsense. I don¡¯t waste a second. My tongue comes out and licks her cunt. Her hands fly up and grab on to my head¡ªbegging without words to give her what she needs. I feast on her roughly. My tongue, lips, and teeth bring her to the edge before pulling back and kissing her legs. I trail my lips along each thigh, wiping her wetness that soaks my face as I go so I can lick it off again. Her whimpering is getting louder, and I¡¯m not even touching that sweet pussy. It¡¯s so wet from just my mouth that I know she¡¯s ready for me, but fuck me, I must be a masochist, because the only thing I can think of is getting more of her sweetness on my tongue. Bringing my lips back to her pussy, I take two fingers, push them deep into her wetness, and lightly bite against her clit. Just like that, she screams my name, digs her hands into my hair, and pulls me closer to her body while she rides out her orgasm. She¡¯s so fucking tight that I worry I¡¯ll hurt her when I finally sink into her body. I give her the time she needs to come back to me. Her moans are slowing down, her body is starting to stop its shaking, and her legs have let go of the death grip she had on my head. I push my fingers slowly in and out of her soaked pussy, the proof of her desire running down my hand. Slowly removing my hand earns me a cry and some incoherent gibberish about staying inside her. ¡°Oh don¡¯t you worry, Sunshine. I¡¯ll be inside you again.¡± Her eyes flare when she sees me go to push my boxer briefs down. I give her a second to push up on to her elbows, wagging my eyebrows as I pull down one side slightly. ¡°You want something?¡± ¡°God, yes,¡± she pants. ¡°Please.¡± Her eyes never leave my body. I push the remaining clothing from my body and stand, letting her eyes take in every inch of me. She licks her lips and I know¡­I know it¡¯s time. ¡°Scoot back, baby,¡± I request, and she pushes back quickly, keeping her legs spread wide. After climbing back onto the bed, I brace myself on my left arm and move in to place a deep kiss to her swollen lips while I rub the head of my cock against her pussy. The feeling of her wetness and heat has me seeing stars. I hiss when I start to sink into her tight pussy, the feeling almost too much. Her nails dig into my shoulders and she rips her lips from mine to moan a loud sound dripping with her arousal. ¡°You feel so fucking good, so tight. Goddamn, baby.¡± I pant, groan, and grind my teeth together as each inch of my cock becomes surrounded by her. Her walls clamp down, more wetness rolling from her body and soaking my balls. ¡°Fuck!¡± When her legs lift up and lock around my body, causing me to sink even deeper, I know that slow is beyond my capabilities. I start moving, pressing into her body so deep that I know she¡¯ll feel me tomorrow. We continue this dance. My body taking hers, claiming her as mine. Every second inside her body has my chest ripping open with the swelling of my heart. Yeah, this is fucking heaven on Earth. ¡°Oh, oh GOD!¡± She¡¯s close¡ªI can tell by how her walls lock onto my cock and almost refuse to let me go each time I bottom out. The sounds of her wetness and my balls slapping against her ass are the only things I can hear. The roaring of my blood burning through my veins is almost loud enough that I miss it. That fucking glorious sound of her screaming my name. And with just a few more rapid thrusts home, I shoot off, coating her walls with my come. Making. Her. Mine. Chapter 18 ¨C Chelcie Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Holy shit. Oh. My. God. My body still feels like it¡¯s floating, and if it weren¡¯t for the slight weight of Asher against my right leg and arm, I would have thought that I¡¯d just dreamt that. I can feel him leaking out of my body, and I shudder slightly. My legs feel weak, as if I¡¯ve just run ten miles. My pussy is still clenching with aftershocks. My lips feel swollen. And my heart feels whole. Ohmigod. What now? ¡°Stop thinking, Sunshine,¡± Asher mumbles at my side. I turn my head and drink him in. His eyes are closed, and the hardness I¡¯ve grown used to seeing across his face has vanished. ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± I weakly defend. ¡°Babe, I can feel you thinking. Your whole body gets tight and you all but stop breathing. That was fucking mind blowing, and as much as I would love to take credit for you getting all breathless¡­I know your mind is working overtime right now.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry?¡± I jump when his deep laughter shakes his body. The sound is so foreign to me, but so beautiful. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever heard him laugh so¡­carefree before. ¡°I¡¯m not sure hearing you say you¡¯re sorry after I just fucked you is helping my ego here. Should I be glad you didn¡¯t laugh when you saw my cock for the first time?¡± His body is still shaking with silent laughter, and I can feel my face flush with embarrassment. ¡°Oh, God! I didn¡¯t mean it like that you jerk!¡± I chuckle. ¡°I doubt you need any help with your ego, Ash. Something tells me you know just how mind blowing sex with you is.¡± Page 26 ¡°Mind blowing, huh?¡± He leans up, his hand coming up and curling around my neck in the possessive way I¡¯m coming to love. He sobers and looks down at my stomach. ¡°I didn¡¯t hurt you, did I?¡± I turn on my side, his hold on my neck flexing as I move. ¡°No, baby,¡± I whisper, enjoying the way his face gets softer when I call him that. ¡°Why do you do that?¡±Advertisement He gets this adorably cute, confused look before his face darkens, and I instantly question if I should have kept my verbal vomit in check. Way to ruin the moment, Chelcie. ¡°Do what?¡± he asks, but I know he knows what I¡¯m talking about. He wouldn¡¯t have gotten that look if he didn¡¯t. ¡°Uh, dammit. Okay. When I called you baby, twice now, you¡¯ve gotten this look that is so¡­ It¡¯s¡­ Damn, I don¡¯t know how to explain it. You look at me like I¡¯ve done something so remarkable and all I¡¯ve done was call you a silly pet name. I was just curious. I¡¯m sorry.¡± I duck my head in embarrassment even though I¡¯m not sure what I did to be embarrassed about. ¡°Chelcie, look at me.¡± ¡°Uh-huh,¡± I hedge. ¡°Chelcie.¡± The command in his voice couldn¡¯t be missed, but still, I avoid looking up. ¡°I¡¯m not going to ask you again, Sunshine.¡± After taking a deep breath and willing those stupid tears away, I look up. I swear, all I do is cry these days; pretty soon, I¡¯m going to be like all of those annoying heroines in books that never stop leaking! I gasp when I see the smile on his face. His eyes are soft, and he looks so carefree and peaceful. ¡°I¡¯m not mad at you. You aren¡¯t doing anything wrong in asking me that. Let¡¯s get one thing straight, okay?¡± I nod. ¡°I will always be honest with you. Always. Even if you don¡¯t want to hear it. The only thing I ask is that you do the same. I don¡¯t want you to ever doubt what¡¯s going through my mind or wonder if you should say something. No secrets, babe. I understand why you didn¡¯t tell me about the baby before now. That¡¯s in the past. From now on, I want you to be completely open with me. Think you can do that?¡± I nod again. ¡°Okay, Sunshine. That¡¯s good.¡± He kisses me sweetly then pulls back and urges me to rest on his shoulder. His arm curls around my shoulders and his hand that isn¡¯t holding me tight grabs my hand and places it over his heart, keeping his warm hand on top. The steady beats of his heart help to calm my own. We settle into a relaxing peace that almost has me drifting off until he speaks again. ¡°I know I told you about my mother. I don¡¯t want to get into that deeper, baby. Just know that there was absolutely no love when I was growing up. I can¡¯t remember her ever calling me anything other than a bastard. Constantly reminding me how unwanted I was.¡± He pauses when I sob softly. ¡°Hey, none of that. I¡¯ve come to peace with it. It¡¯s taken me a while, but she has no place left in my life. I pretty much never had a relationship until I decided to give it a go once. I didn¡¯t love her, but I enjoyed being around her. Figured what the hell, surely there was a woman out there who wasn¡¯t full of evil like my mother. She wasn¡¯t as bad, but I learned almost too late just what kind of person she was. We were engaged for almost a year and not once did she call me anything other than Asher. So, I guess, long story short¡­hearing you call me baby, hearing something so fucking pure coming from your lips, does something to me that I can¡¯t even explain. But I love it.¡± God, my heart breaks for this man. This incredible man who has had way too much pain in his life. I can¡¯t even fathom how a mother could treat her own children the way his treated him and Coop. Just the thought of it makes me pull my hand from under his and place it against my stomach. ¡°Hey, talk to me,¡± he requests. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine how that bitch of a mother could treat you like that. And that¡­that woman you were engaged to¡­ Asher, I want to hurt them so badly.¡± He laughs lightly. ¡°Sunshine, it¡¯s in the past. It¡¯s been a long time since I let my mother hurt me, even emotionally. As for Sarah Jane¡ªthat was her name¡ªI haven¡¯t even thought about her until tonight. She was a mistake, and I got lucky seeing her true colors before I married her.¡± ¡°Why do you call me that?¡± Well, hello ADD! Of all the things I should and could be asking him, I stupidly ask him why he calls me Sunshine. ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Why do you call me Sunshine?¡± He actually looks embarrassed for a second before he answers. ¡°It¡¯s going to sound stupid or maybe just make me sound like a damn pussy.¡± He awkwardly laughs. ¡°I¡¯ve been stuck in this fog, this darkness that¡¯s held me captive since Coop¡¯s murder. This black hole of grief that I just couldn¡¯t escape.¡± He sighs, and I know this is costing him a lot to talk about. I instantly kick myself for bringing it up. ¡°But then you came into my life, and as corny as it sounds, you were my light when there was none to be found. You were my Sunshine when I had been stuck in nothing but night.¡± Oh my God! ¡°Oh my God,¡± I squeak. ¡°Yeah, I told you. It sounds stupid as hell.¡± He goes to move away from me, but I quickly move, straddling his hips and making it impossible to get away. Bringing my hands up and framing his face, I make sure he has nowhere else to look but directly into my eyes. ¡°You make it impossibly hard not to hand my heart over to you. That has to be the most incredible, heartfelt, and moving thing anyone has ever said to me, Asher. Do not for one second think I would ever think that how you feel about me would make me think you were anything less than remarkable.¡± I lean down, pressing my lips lightly to his. I don¡¯t move to deepen this kiss. I breathe him in, basking in the glow of being his sunshine. ¡°I want you again,¡± he says against my lips. His hand moving between us and slowly pushing into my pussy. ¡°Then take me. I¡¯m yours,¡± I gasp. ¡°Yeah, Sunshine, you sure are mine.¡± This time, he doesn¡¯t take his time. I thought the first time we came together was toe-curling, awe-inspiring, earth-shaking, best sex ever¡­but this blows it all out of the water. His eyes bore into mine the whole time his hips are thrusting powerfully, driving his thick erection into my body at a speed that has me gasping for my breath. His hands never leave my face, where he holds me prisoner to his gaze. His arms are under mine, bracing him to the bed and leaving mine free to roam over his strong back and firm ass. Every time he dips deep and my fingers dig into his back, he lets off this animalistic groan that has me soaking his cock. Page 27 By the time he pushes in deep, empting himself out into my body, I¡¯ve come three times and would swear that I saw angels. After he leaves the bed, returning with a warm washcloth to clean me off with so much care that I almost come again, he throws it off to the side and climbs back into the bed with me, wrapping me in his arms.Advertisement A peace I¡¯ve never known washes over me in that moment, and I know without a shadow of doubt that, no matter what happens, this man has taken a part of my heart I will never be able to get back. Chapter 19 ¨C Asher ¡°He¡¯s clueless, Britney. Completely fucking clueless.¡± Sarah Jane laughs into the phone, completely oblivious that I¡¯m standing right outside our bedroom door. I can feel my anger starting to simmer at a low boil. I just stand there waiting to see what she¡¯s going to say next. Sarah Jane and I have been dating for about a year. I met her at a local bar, and for the first time, the thought of being with someone steady didn¡¯t cause my dick to die a slow death. It just seemed like the right thing to do when she started pressuring me to put a ring on her finger. I don¡¯t really know what love feels like, but I like her enough to deal with her daily. So that has to mean something. But what do I know is that, at twenty-five, I just know I need something stable for Coop so he can get over this notion that all chicks are pure evil. But judging by this shit I¡¯m listening to, I might be proving him right. ¡°Can you believe he was stupid enough to buy me a ring? Well, if you could call this speck a ring. I need a goddamn magnifying glass to make out the diamond,¡± she laughs. For the first time in months, that laugh doesn¡¯t make me want to fuck her. No, it makes me want to strangle her slim fucking neck. ¡°He¡¯s perfect though. I just know that, once he marries me and I get pregnant, he¡¯ll bend over backwards for me.¡± I don¡¯t know what Britney, her best friend, says in response to that, but I continue to stand here, waiting to see what bullshit comes out next. ¡°We talked about this, Brit! I need him to prove to Daddy that I¡¯m responsible enough to take over the company. You know he thinks I¡¯m too flaky to take over, and Clarkston Inc. is worth fucking millions. All I need to do is marry Asher and maybe have a kid. Then¡ªboom¡ªDaddy will hand over the company on a silver platter. ¡°No¡­I¡¯m not just doing this for the company. That¡¯s the goal of it all, but hell, you¡¯ve seen Asher¡ªand his brother for that matter. He¡¯s gorgeous and he can fuck me like an animal. Maybe I can get his brother to agree to some side action. Could you imagine? Both of the Cooper boys fucking me? God, I could come right now just thinking about it. I bet he¡¯s just as rough as Asher is!¡± She laughs again, and I¡¯m livid. How could I have been so fucking stupid? I move to storm into the bedroom but stop short when a firm hand grabs my bicep and holds me still. I turn sharply, ready to lay out whatever motherfucker is stupid enough to let this train wreck keep going. His eyes are burning, his lips set at a thin line, but he shakes his head and nods in the direction that Sarah Jane¡¯s voice is still yapping, mouthing a firm, ¡°No,¡± to me. We stand there and listen to her go on and on about how much she wishes she could fuck us both. How she¡¯s using me, fucking using me like a piece of shit, just to get her daddy¡¯s money. I¡¯m disgusted with myself, ashamed that I let her get the best of me, but most of all, I hate that I¡¯ve done this. In an effort to prove to Coop that he doesn¡¯t need to sleep with every woman he meets, that there has to be a woman worth sharing your life with, I¡¯ve let him down. I should have seen this coming. And now I worry that Coop is going to see that maybe he¡¯s right¡­ Maybe chicks aren¡¯t worth shit when it comes to us. We¡¯ve been tainted from birth. Makes sense that we should just keep our fucking distance. Sarah Jane¡¯s laugh floats through the air again, and I¡¯m fucking done. Before Coop can stop me, I step forward and push the door open the rest of the way. It slams against the wall, breaking off the hinges and leaving it hanging at an odd angle. Lovely, just something I¡¯ll end up paying for with the landlord. ¡°The fuck did I just hear you say, Sarah Jane?¡± She has the fucking nerve to look ashamed. The fucking nerve to look like she is the wrong party here. Hell. Fucking. No. ¡°Did I hear you correctly, bitch? I¡¯m just a goddamn game to you?¡± ¡°Asher¡ª¡± she starts. ¡°Oh fuck no. Let me tell you what¡¯s going to happen now. You¡¯re going to take my miserable diamond off your finger, get your fucking shit, and leave. I don¡¯t ever want to hear from you again, and while we¡¯re at it, I better not see you step a foot near Coop. You think you¡¯re going to use me as a pawn for your shit, then think again, darling, because this shit ends now.¡± I step forward, my chest brushing her ample tits. ¡°It¡¯s a shame you let the cat out of the bag. Who knows? Maybe you would have known what it feels like to be taken by both the Cooper men. Such a pity. But hey¡­no sweat off my back, bitch. Your pussy is so worn that I could have dropped a coin in there and never found the bottom.¡± I don¡¯t waste time seeing her reaction. I stomp right out the door, past a laughing Coop, and into my truck. I wait because I know Coop will be quick behind me. We don¡¯t even talk before the rubber of my tires is screaming against the pavement and I¡¯m tearing ass to the bar. Time to get fucked up and try to remember why I ever thought that I was good enough for someone. We have been at the bar for a few hours. I¡¯m well past drunk, while Coop is just chilling and keeping the drinks coming. I¡¯m not drinking because I¡¯m heartbroken or anything. I¡¯m drinking because I¡¯m pissed. I wanted so badly to prove Coop wrong. I don¡¯t want him alone; I don¡¯t want him to keep thinking that he should avoid a relationship. I want him to believe that there is more out there for us. It¡¯s the hope I¡¯ve had as long as I can remember. I would see people who seemed so in love, so happy, that I would pray that one day we would find that. Unfortunately for me, Coop has made it perfectly clear that he will never settle down. Never give a woman a chance to hurt him again. And I hate that for him. He has so much to give, so much of him that deserves to feel that love we see. ¡°You ready to believe me when I say all chicks are good for is spreading their legs and enjoying our dicks?¡± He laughs. Page 28 ¡°No, I¡¯m not. One day, there¡¯s going to be more than sex. We¡¯re going to meet someone who proves all this bullshit wrong, Coop.¡± ¡°Doubt that, brother. I¡¯m not setting myself up for that shit ever. Don¡¯t get me wrong. I love the ladies¡­but that love is for what we can give each other between the sheets. Never. I will never settle myself down with just one.¡±Advertisement ¡°How can you be so sure? Don¡¯t you want to share your life with someone else?¡± ¡°Yeah. I¡¯ve got you.¡± I shake my head. I know he believes that too. He really thinks that the only thing he will ever need is me, and even though I know I¡¯m not going anywhere, I wish he would see things differently. I¡¯ve seen our friends settle into good, loving relationships, so I know it¡¯s out there. He just refuses to believe it. And I know it all has to do with our fucking mother. She¡¯s done this to him, and just when I thought I couldn¡¯t hate her more than I already do, I¡¯m proven wrong twice in one day. ¡°What about kids, Coop? Do you really never want to have kids?¡± ¡°What the hell is this, Dr. Phil?¡± he laughs. ¡°Hell no I don¡¯t want kids. I won¡¯t take a chance that anything that evil bitch has could be passed on to my kid. No way will I take that chance. The poor thing would be doomed from the fucking beginning. There isn¡¯t anything in me worth giving a kid, and you know that.¡± He sobers for a second, shaking his head. ¡°It¡¯s better this way, Ash. I¡¯ve got you. I¡¯ve got the boys. There¡¯s no need to shake things up now.¡± ¡°I wish you didn¡¯t believe that, brother.¡± ¡°Just give it up, Ash. Please.¡± If it weren¡¯t for the raw desperation in his stare, I would press longer. But I do what he wants and keep silent. We sit there, together, just like we always have been. He¡¯s right about one thing: I¡¯ll always be here and nothing could change that. Chapter 20 ¨C Chelcie Three Weeks Later Today is the day. The day that I find out if I¡¯m having a little boy or little girl. For as long as I can remember, I¡¯ve always dreamt of having a little princess. Someone I can dress in all pink, do her hair and nails, bond with like my mother did with me. However, today I¡¯m hoping and praying that they tell me that I¡¯m having a boy. I¡¯ve been dreaming of a perfect little blond-haired, blue-eyed prince for the last month or so. I¡¯m not sure what it is, but I feel like I just know this is going to be my son. Over the last three weeks, Asher and I have become inseparable. The bond that started to grow between us in the weeks that followed Coop¡¯s murder has turned into something I never could have fathomed. As corny as it sounds, he¡¯s my other half. The reasons we¡¯ve been brought together, that we even met, seem to be the hand of fate. I don¡¯t usually believe in that nonsense, but I have to believe that everything that¡¯s happened has happened for a reason. Last weekend was hard. Asher¡¯s slowly been dealing with some of the things he¡¯s been avoiding. One of those things happened to be cleaning out his brother¡¯s house. Coop had a small two-bedroom house just outside the city limits. It wasn¡¯t anything to write home about, but it was full of memories for Ash, full of his brother, and if it hadn¡¯t been for the sheet of dust that coated every surface, you would have thought that Coop would be coming home at any second. ¡°I can¡¯t go in yet, Chelcie. I just¡­ I just need a minute.¡± I look over at Asher. He¡¯s staring straight ahead at the closed garage door. His fingers are clutching the steering wheel as if it¡¯s his lifeline. My heart breaks for him. I know that today has to be costing him a lot. Too much. But he told me that he needed to do this. He needed to start turning on the lights in the darkness of his life. ¡°Take all the time you need, baby,¡± I say, hoping that my voice doesn¡¯t crack. I wait for him to battle whatever is raging within his mind. My hand continues to play with the longer pieces of hair on his neck, and I rub my belly with my other. ¡°I wish he was going to be inside. God, I wish¡­ I wish so badly that he was still here.¡± ¡°I know you do, baby.¡± I can see him struggling even worse, and I know this is going to be even harder than I imagined. Unhooking my seatbelt and opening my door doesn¡¯t even filter through his thoughts. My poor man is so lost right now. Once I¡¯ve walked around to his side of the truck, I open the door; he doesn¡¯t even look at me. Hell, I¡¯m not even sure that he knows I¡¯m standing here. ¡°Ash?¡± I question. ¡°Asher.¡± I harden my tone and finally gain his attention. He looks over at me, his eyes lost and haunted. ¡°Do you see me? I need to make sure you really see me right now and that you aren¡¯t lost in the nightmare in your head.¡± He nods, his throat moving with his effort to control his emotions. ¡°You are one of the strongest men I know, baby. I wish I could take your pain, ease your heart even for a second, but this is something you have to do for yourself. I¡¯ll be by your side every second you¡¯ll have me. All you have to do is take that first step. It¡¯s going to be hard, but you¡¯re not alone.¡± I wait for him to gather his thoughts, hoping that I didn¡¯t overstep. We¡¯ve talked about Coop¡¯s death almost nightly. I know all about his quest to bring down the man responsible, and it terrifies me. There¡¯s a reason that he¡¯s wanted by so many different law enforcement branches, and I¡¯m shocked he¡¯s still roaming free. That man is dangerous with a capitol D, and I¡¯ve made it my mission to try and convince Asher that he doesn¡¯t need to do this. It¡¯s a battle I¡¯m wholly committed to win. ¡°I miss him, Sunshine. My God, I miss him so much it feels like my chest is being split in two. I think about him, that damn cocky smile, his stupid jokes, and I wish¡­¡± he trails off, closing his eyes, lost in the memory of his brother. I take a second to bat away the tears that are rolling down my cheeks, cursing my stupid hormones. Asher needs me to be strong right now, not my normal basket-case self that cries on the drop of a hat. ¡°I know, baby. I know.¡± He opens his eyes, observing me with a look I¡¯ve seen a few times on his face before. His hardness evaporates and his eyes turn soft. ¡°I love you, Sunshine,¡± he says softly. My eyes widen, my mouth gapes at the words he¡¯s just spoken, but my heart swells. Page 29 ¡°And I love you, Asher.¡± He gives me a sweet kiss, pulling back to rest his forehead against mine, a move I¡¯m familiar with from him. He seems to take pleasure in just sitting like this, being close to me, and I love it.Advertisement ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡± ¡°One step at a time, okay? If you need to stop, we can come back later.¡± He nods and climbs down from the cab. We walk hand in hand into Coop¡¯s old house. I refuse to let his hand go, even when the grip becomes almost unbearable. That day had to be one of the hardest. Witnessing him breakdown when he walked through the door, his huge frame crashing to his knees. A sound so heartbreaking slipping from his throat was almost my undoing. But when I hurried to kneel in front of him and saw the raw, unmasked pain in his eyes¡ªthe tears that were flowing down his face¡ªI couldn¡¯t hold back any longer. I pulled him into my arms and held him. I held my big, strong man while he purged himself of every ounce of grief he¡¯d been holding in since he¡¯d lost Coop. He cried for what felt like hours, my ass and legs going numb, my back killing me, and my arms shaking with the effort to hold him steady. You couldn¡¯t have pulled me away if you¡¯d tried. I stayed by his side, just like I¡¯d promised, and I tried to cover him in my light. Giving him what he needed¡ªmy love. It took us hours and a few more breakdowns before we were able to even make a dent in packing up his brother¡¯s memories. It was when I found him sitting on the edge of Coop¡¯s bed, his pillow clutched in his arms and his sobs echoing around the room, that I knew we needed to go. He didn¡¯t fight me. I helped him out to the truck, into the passenger¡¯s seat, and drove us back to my place¡ªor rather our place since he pretty much is living there at this point. He was like a zombie the whole time, still clutching that damn pillow. Joe gave us a concerned look when we walked through the lobby door, but I waved him off with a small smile. He nodded his head and continued whatever he had been messing with on the computer. That night, I fed a still silent Asher, put him in the shower with me, and tried my hardest to wash away the sadness that was coating him like a thick jacket. The whole time, I worried that he was slipping back into that darkness and I wouldn¡¯t be able to get him back this time. We fell asleep, my arms holding him close to my body, his head resting against my chest, and his arms wrapped around my waist. I woke up again to wetness against my chest and his body shaking. My heart broke for every violent shudder that racked his body. When he lifted his head and looked into my eyes, I didn¡¯t know what to expect. But what came out of his mouth will forever be something I remember. ¡°I don¡¯t think I would have survived that had you not been there. I told you before that you¡¯re my light, my Sunshine, and baby, if it hadn¡¯t been for you shining that light on me today, I wouldn¡¯t have escaped that pain.¡± I gulped my sob, wanting nothing more than to break down in that moment. He leaned up, giving me the softest kiss before taking my body in a lovemaking that was so pure I felt like our souls had merged into one. When he gasped my name as he came, words of our love for each other whispered in the darkness, I knew that, even though he might still have hard moments, we had jumped a huge hurdle that he¡¯d needed in his healing. ¡°Chelcie?¡± ¡°Back here, baby!¡± I call out, finishing out the last chapter I had written. A sense of pride fills me when I look down at the word count. Holy shit, I¡¯m really doing this! ¡°What are you up to? Don¡¯t we need to head out?¡± He nuzzles my neck, trailing hot kisses along as he moves up to rest his chin on the top of my head. ¡°Uh, nothing?¡± Dammit, I really need to work on this answering-him-with-a-question crap. He always sees right through my being evasive. Truth is, I haven¡¯t told anyone that I¡¯m writing this book. I¡¯ve been working on it for so long that I think I always thought it just wouldn¡¯t get finished. Or maybe the fear is what keeps me from telling anyone. It¡¯s a part of me that I¡¯ve kept so close that it almost feels like a betrayal to my mind¡­as stupid as that sounds. Or if I admit it out loud, then it becomes real¡ªthe pressure to do it, to succeed becomes real. ¡°Sunshine, stop thinking and let me in.¡± ¡°It¡¯s, uh¡­ It¡¯s a book I¡¯ve been working on,¡± I groan, knowing that I sound like a complete fool. I bury my head in my hands and wait for his laughter. ¡°A book? Damn, that¡¯s astounding babe. Did you just start this?¡± I turn around and look at him, the shock and love clear on his face. There is nothing but respect and happiness for me. For me and my dream. I smile so large that it hurts my face, knowing damn well that I must look wonky. ¡°You okay there?¡± he laughs, mirth apparent with each word. ¡°Never been better, baby. Never been better.¡± He kisses me with what starts off as one of those sweet kisses I love so much, but it turns quickly into a devouring of mouths. ¡°Must be one hell of a book if I get this kind of reaction from you.¡± He smiles down at me, looking so happy that my heart swells. ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± I nervously groan. ¡°Don¡¯t do that,¡± he sternly bursts. ¡°Don¡¯t diminish something that is obviously important to you. Your dreams are important to me. I want to be here to enjoy them, cheer you on, and lift you up. This isn¡¯t a one-man show, sunshine. You there for me and me alone. No, it doesn¡¯t work like that with me. So let me ask you again¡ªwhat is this book you¡¯re working on?¡± His tone leaves no room for arguing, and I can see in his eyes that he means it. He wants to be there and he genuinely wants me to tell him. ¡°I started working on this book idea I had a few years ago. I never thought that I would do anything more than play with it, but the story has been demanding I finish it lately. I don¡¯t know how to explain it. I feel like I need to write it more than I need to breathe. It sounds so silly.¡± I try to hide my face again, afraid that I might start crying and basket-case Chelcie will come out to play. ¡°Chelcie, there is nothing about that that sounds silly. I¡¯m so proud of you. It takes serious guts to be able to write something that means that much to you. I hope one day you¡¯ll let me read it.¡± ¡°You really want to read it? It¡¯s not like¡­man stuff. It¡¯s romance, baby.¡± I place one hand on his solid chest and the other against his cheek. Page 30 He turns his head, nuzzling my palm for a second before placing one of his famous sweet kisses against my skin. My whole body swoons from just that alone. ¡°You bet that sweet ass I want to read it. Come on. We¡¯ll talk about this kick-ass book of yours on the way to the doctor.¡± He leans in and places a kiss against my stomach before standing up. ¡°Time to figure out if I need to buy stock in Smith & Wesson or Magnum.¡±Advertisement ¡°Oh, God! You¡¯re incorrigible!¡± I laugh, slapping his hard abs while I stand. ¡°Come on, woman. Let¡¯s get out of here so I can get you back and strip you naked.¡± Chapter 21 ¨C Asher ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± Chelcie questions from the passenger¡¯s seat. God, she looks beautiful. The sun¡¯s hitting her blonde hair, making it look like she¡¯s got a halo around her. She¡¯s got on some tight shirt that puts so much emphasis on her belly. And damn, that belly¡ªshe went from hardly showing to popping out overnight. And it¡¯s the most attractive thing I¡¯ve ever seen. I don¡¯t even know how to explain it. I know the baby isn¡¯t mine, but in my mind, I love him or her just as if it were. Chelcie talked to me the other night about it, her worries that I might not be with her for the right reasons, but I stopped that crazy shit right away. That woman has no clue how much I love her. I never thought I would be capable of this. Never thought that I could trust a woman enough to hand over my heart, my emotions, and play a game of chance. With her, there¡¯s no doubt that this is real. I fought the feelings I had for her before I even knew that there was a baby. Knowing she¡¯s pregnant, and with Coop¡¯s baby, isn¡¯t awkward or confusing for me. I can separate my feelings. I love them both differently. She¡¯s my reason for getting up in the morning. My reason for knowing that I can get up in the morning. And that baby? God, that baby gives me a little hope. Hope that the world isn¡¯t a giant fucked-up version of Hell. That innocent baby, my brother¡¯s baby, is my blood and I will love it just like it was my own. ¡°Ash?¡± she inquirers at my silence, turning slightly in her seat to face me. I grab her hand, giving her a squeeze before I place our joined hands against her bump. ¡°Just thinking about how different my life is than it was a few months ago. I¡¯m happy, Chelcie. I¡¯m really happy and I didn¡¯t think I would feel that way again.¡± She smiles that fucking gorgeous smile at me, and I notice a second too late that she¡¯s about to lose it. She clutches my hand, bringing it up to her chest at an awkward angle, and hugs it. If I weren¡¯t accustomed to her whiplash-like mood swings, I would be alarmed. I smile knowingly at her and wait for the tears to stop and her grip to lighten up on my hand. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she hiccups. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to be sorry about. Not sure what brought on the waterworks, Sunshine. Least I can tell that¡¯s a good thing.¡± ¡°Oh hush, you! It is a good thing. I¡¯m so proud of you, Ash.¡± She sobers, leans her head against the seat, and looks at me, her eyes dark with emotion. ¡°And why exactly are you proud of me?¡± I joke. ¡°You¡¯ve come so far. You¡¯re fighting that darkness all on your own, Ash.¡± She sighs. ¡°You have no idea how incredible you are.¡± I look over at her in shock. How can she even begin to think that I¡¯ve done this alone? My God, if it weren¡¯t for her, I would still be lost. She¡¯s the reason I¡¯m not trapped in that black hole of grief. ¡°You really believe that, don¡¯t you? That I did this all on my own?¡± She nods, looking perplexed at my question. ¡°Damn, woman. One of these days, you¡¯re going to see just how much you give me. I didn¡¯t do this alone. I did this with you right by my side.¡± Her eyes start to fill with tears, and this time, I know what¡¯s coming before she starts. ¡°Chelcie. Dry it up, baby. Nothing to cry about, okay?¡± She nods her head, kisses her fingers, and brings them to my cheek. ¡°If I didn¡¯t have this big ol¡¯ belly, I would kiss the mess out of you, Asher.¡± ¡°Right back at ya, babe.¡± We make the rest of the drive to the doctor in a comfortable silence. I let the nerves pick back up at the thought of this coming appointment. ¡°So tell me what I¡¯m about to experience.¡± She laughs when she hears the stress in my tone. No lie, I¡¯m edgy as hell right now. I keep picturing all these instruments of torture coming for her belly. ¡°Just the normal stuff. The nurse will check my weight¡ªspeaking of, you are NOT allowed to look!¡± I laugh and nod my head, willing her to continue. ¡°Then they¡¯ll make me pee in a cup¡ªonce again, no looking at that either¡ªthen check my blood pressure and ask me a million questions about how I¡¯ve felt the last month. Then the doctor will come in and ask me the same questions all over again. It¡¯s really kind of boring. She¡¯ll move my belly around a bunch, measure it, and then ask me more questions.¡± ¡°That¡¯s it? Well, uh¡­how are they supposed to tell you what the baby is if all they do is touch your belly? Is there some way to tell by moving it around?¡± She laughs, the music of her amusement dancing around inside of my Jeep. ¡°Baby, I¡¯ll get an ultrasound. They just place some goopy gel on my stomach and place a little wand over it, move it around, and take a bunch of measurements. Then, if the baby is cooperating, we will get to see between his or her legs and hopefully know what we¡¯re having.¡± Hearing her say we¡¯re causes my heart to leap in my chest. Goddamn, this woman unmans me. ¡°I like the sound of that,¡± I tell her honestly. ¡°What? That I get some goopy gel?¡± she snickers. ¡°No, Sunshine¡ªyou said we¡¯re. What we¡¯re having. I love how that sounds.¡± She doesn¡¯t say anything, and I look over at her. Once again, she¡¯s bawling, but this time, she¡¯s trying her hardest to keep her shit together. I burst out laughing, earning me a light smack to my arm. ¡°This isn¡¯t funny!¡± she smarts. ¡°You¡¯re right. It¡¯s hilarious.¡± She smacks me again, but I notice that her tears have dried up and she¡¯s looking out the window with a small smirk on her lips. We¡¯ve been sitting in these damn narrow chairs for the last hour. I shift a few times uncomfortably, wishing I could get out of this room. There are at least fifteen other pregnant chicks in here. Some have bigger bellies than Chelcie¡¯s, but some are huge¡ªso huge that I swear I can see their babies moving. I look back over at Chelcie¡¯s belly again with what must be a look of horror because she starts laughing lightly. Page 31 ¡°Would you relax?¡± she says with a hushed tone. I lean over so that my lips are right up against her ear. ¡°Sunshine, would you be able to relax if all you could picture was a little alien popping out of one of their bellies? Just like in that damn Spaceballs movie. I swear to God, if that happens, you¡¯re on your own because I¡¯m out of here.¡±Advertisement She starts laughing loudly, drawing the attention of the room¡ªwell, the part of the room that wasn¡¯t already undressing me with their eyes. ¡°Goddammit, I¡¯m in some weird hormone bubble and I feel violated. Oh so violated,¡± I complain under my breath, earning even more giggles out of Chelcie. I try to scowl at her, but that only causes her to laugh louder. She holds her hands up in surrender, trying her hardest to calm down. I just shake my head and look back down at the pregnancy magazine she handed me when we sat down. I think I¡¯ve been reading the same article for the last thirty minutes. What in the fuck is a mucus plug? I¡¯m so out of my element right now. ¡°You two are just lovely together. Congratulations on your baby,¡± the woman next to me says. ¡°I¡¯m here with my daughter. Her husband is overseas¡ªbless his heart. Anyway, I¡¯m here to be support if she needs me. It¡¯s so wonderful to see a couple so in love.¡± ¡°Thank you, ma¡¯am. And please tell your son-in-law thank you for his service.¡± She looks over at me with a question in her pale eyes before a wide smile takes over her weathered face. ¡°What branch were you, son?¡± ¡°Marines, ma¡¯am. One tour.¡± She smiles kindly, her hand reaching out to pat mine. ¡°Such a fine young man. I¡¯ll pass that on. And thank you for your bravery, honey. It takes a strong soul to be able to do what y¡¯all do.¡± I swallow the uncomfortable lump in my throat and try to think of an appropriate response. I¡¯m saved from replying when an attractive woman wobbles out and walks over. She smiles and asks the older woman if she¡¯s ready. I get one more pat on my hand before she gets up and leaves. I look back down at my hands holding this stupid magazine and try to get my head together. If only she knew how broken my soul has been. ¡°She¡¯s right, you know,¡± Chelcie whispers. I don¡¯t respond. I just sit there, reach out, and grasp her hand with mine, giving her a tight squeeze. I¡¯ve never felt brave. I¡¯ve felt compelled to give Coop a better life, to fight with him for our freedom in more ways than one. But I always felt like a fraud because I joined the Marines to make sure I was there for Coop, and I¡¯ve always felt incredibly selfish for my motivations. ¡°Ms. Avery?¡± We both look up when Chelcie¡¯s name is called. I can¡¯t help but frown when I hear her last name. She should have my last name. The world should know that she is my woman, and I vow right here and now to make sure that happens sooner than later. I toss the magazine on the chair next to me and stand to help Chelcie up. She laughs but takes my hand anyway, and we make our way back to the exam room. She was spot on when she told me what would happen. She got pissed as hell when I acted like I was looking at the scale, and I¡¯ve been laughing about it since the nurse left the room ten minutes ago. ¡°I told you not to look! Oh, God¡­I¡¯m going to get fat and you¡¯re going to be so disgusted!¡± Well, that sure sobered my amusement real quick. After getting up from my seat, I walk over to her. ¡°Chelcie, I was just joking. Trust me right now, okay? There isn¡¯t anything that could make me find you disgusting. Looking at you, with that sexy belly, those full breasts just begging for my mouth, those hot-as-hell hips begging for my fingers to dig in deep. Baby, there is nothing in the world that could ever make you disgusting.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± She looks up at me, and once again, she bursts into tears. I just shake my head and pull her into my arms. ¡°We need to work on all this damn crying,¡± I joke. A brisk knock on the door has me stepping away, unsure of where I should be. An older Spanish woman walks in with a smile on her face. She introduces herself as Dr. Sosa and starts asking Chelcie a bunch of questions. She doesn¡¯t even bat an eye at my being here. It gives me a warm sense of pride that she just knows that I¡¯m here with my woman. I am so lost in thought that I miss her doing half of her exam on Chelcie. I look over to see her placing a small drop of gel on her stomach and wonder if this is it. Chelcie, perceptive as always, looks over and shakes her head slowly with a smile on her face. When the doctor pulls some small box with a microphone-looking thing on it out of her lab coat, I can feel my brows turn in. Well, this wasn¡¯t on the list of what would happen. ¡°C¨¢lmate, Daddy. I¡¯m just listening to your beb¨¦¡¯s heartbeat.¡± My eyes widen and shoot to Chelcie when I hear her call me Daddy. We haven¡¯t discussed my role in the baby¡¯s life. Will I be the uncle/boyfriend, the uncle/husband, the uncle/daddy? Because every time I think I should bring it up, I feel even more confused. I know what I want¡ªI want to raise this baby as if it were my own¡ªbut I also want him or her to know who their daddy is. I will never let a day go by that this baby doesn¡¯t know how much their daddy wishes he could be here. But yeah¡ªI want to be the daddy in the sense of the word. I take a chance and look over at Chelcie. She¡¯s looking at me with an expression of love and contentment. I take a deep breath and squeeze her hand. Whatever just happened here, we can talk about later, but right now, all I feel is peace and happiness. Then it happens. I look over at Dr. Sosa then down to Chelcie¡¯s belly, where that weird microphone is pressed against her skin. The noise echoing through the room sounds like a million horses running at rapid speed. I widen my eyes when I realize what that noise is. Holy Lord, that¡¯s the heartbeat! I stand there in shock, my eyes refusing to move from her stomach even after Dr. Sosa removes the microphone thing and goes to address Chelcie. ¡°Oh, cari?o, the beb¨¦ sounds perfect. 142 beats per minute. Nice and healthy.¡± She smiles and moves to the computer on the desk. ¡°Are you ready for the ultrasound? Such an exciting time, yes?¡± ¡°Yes, Dr. Sosa. I¡¯ve been waiting for this appointment since I found out I was pregnant. Do you think that we¡¯ll be able to find out the gender today?¡± Chelcie asks wistfully. ¡°I believe that, if you¡¯ve got a cooperative little one, then we should have no troubles.¡± Page 32 I help Chelcie off the table and steady her until she can straighten her clothing. She looks up at me, questions in her eyes, and I just smile. I know she¡¯s wondering how I¡¯m dealing with all of this. Truth be told, this is the most astounding moment of my life. I can¡¯t describe what that felt like. To hear the life growing inside her belly was thrilling and magical. I don¡¯t think, until this moment, that it had really hit me that this is real. Dr. Sosa leads us down the hall into a room that is dimly lit. There¡¯s an exam table that looks more comfortable than the last one she was in and a big machine with all sorts of knobs and shit on it next to the table. And then there¡¯s the screen. A large projector type screen sits opposite her table.Advertisement I take another deep breath, help Chelcie back onto the table, and move to stand out of the way. Before I can get too far, her hand shoots out and grabs my arm. She looks at me shyly for a second before speaking. ¡°Please? You belong right next to me, baby.¡± Well hell, you don¡¯t have to tell me twice. She keeps hold of my hand as we wait for the doctor to enter some information into the machine at Chelcie¡¯s hip. After a few minutes, she squirts that gel back on her stomach, only a hell of a lot more, and presses what I¡¯m assuming is the wand to her stomach. Thank God she prepared me for this because there is no way that¡¯s comfortable. ¡°You okay, Sunshine?¡± I question. Her eyes glaze over, looking over my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m perfect,¡± she hums. ¡°Look,¡± she demands, raising the hand I¡¯m not holding and pointing to the wall. I turn and immediately feel my body rock. It feels like an earthquake just rocked the very foundation I¡¯m standing on. There, looking back at me, is a large, black-and-white, fuzzy image. A moving image that is clearly¡­a baby. The baby. ¡°Is that?¡± I inquire, my voice a low whisper. ¡°That¡¯s our baby,¡± Chelcie says with awe. She doesn¡¯t even seem to notice that she called the baby ours. I¡¯m unsure if the feeling of pride that is washing through my system is from that one softly spoken word or seeing the baby for the first time. ¡°Beautiful,¡± I slur through the thick knot of emotion burning my throat. I don¡¯t even bother hiding the amazement and unadulterated wonder. This is a moment in my life that I will never forget. ¡°Everything looks beautiful. Would you two like to know what the gender is? I¡¯ve got quite a clear shot,¡± she laughs. ¡°Please,¡± I whisper, looking down into Chelcie¡¯s wet eyes. She nods her head, and then I hear it. Another moment in my life when I¡¯m knocked right on my ass. ¡°Congratulations, you¡¯ve got a perfectly healthy baby boy.¡± A boy. In that moment, I feel like my brother is right here with us. Cheering right along with us. Enjoying this moment for everything it is. Celebrating the life he created. Happy and content. And that¡¯s all it takes for me to drop to my knees and press my forehead to Chelcie¡¯s belly. I don¡¯t even give a damn that that gel crap is getting all over me. I bring my hands up and frame her stomach, whispering words of love and promises of the future I¡¯ll make sure this little boy has. I can feel Chelcie¡¯s shudders and I know that she¡¯s crying again, but I don¡¯t dare call her on it since I can feel the tears falling from my own eyes. After a few minutes, I climb to my feet and rub my eyes against my sleeve before moving in, taking her face between my palms, and kissing her with everything I have. We don¡¯t need words right now. She knows¡ªshe gets it. I vaguely hear the click of the door as the doctor leaves us to our moment. Lost in our own thoughts but connected together with our love for each other and our love for this baby. This little boy. Our little boy. I smile against her lips, feeling a weightlessness cover over me. You did it, little brother, I think. I¡¯m going to make sure that your son knows just how brave his father was. Not one day, Coop¡­ Not one day will go by that I won¡¯t show him how much he¡¯s loved. He will never once question if he¡¯s wanted, I promise you that. When we leave the doctor, I notice that not once has our smiles slipped from either of our faces. ¡°I love you, Sunshine.¡± ¡°I love you back, baby.¡± Chapter 22 ¨C Chelcie It¡¯s been a week since the doctor¡¯s appointment, a week since we found out that I¡¯m having a baby boy. It¡¯s been such an incredible week. Between working part time with Dee, working on my book, and falling into Asher¡¯s arms at night, my life couldn¡¯t be fuller. I¡¯m beyond happy right now and I don¡¯t think anything can change that. Asher¡¯s been over the moon since we found out. At first, I could tell he was trying to hide his happiness. The uncertainty with his role in the baby¡¯s life was weighing heavily on him. I didn¡¯t waste a second before letting him know exactly how I felt about it. How I wanted things to be. I told him, while sitting in his lap in his Jeep, my arms around his neck and my forehead pressed to his, that, in my heart, he¡¯s this baby¡¯s father. Not in the way that he is replacing Coop or Coop¡¯s part in this baby¡¯s life. I want Asher to raise this child alongside of me. I want this baby to look at Asher with the same love I feel, wake up asking for his daddy and Asher is there. And¡­I want Asher to be by my side every night we tell our son about how brave his daddy Coop was. This baby would never question who fathered him, but he would also know the very tangible love of his daddy. Asher didn¡¯t even fight me on it, as I¡¯d expected. He just pressed his body closer and thanked me over and over again. From that moment on, we¡¯ve grown even closer as a couple. Our love for each other and our love for our child is so all consuming that there is no doubt in my mind that I¡¯m the luckiest woman on the planet. I grab the mail from Joe before making my way up to my apartment. I had to go into the office today and talk to Dee. Ash and I talked last night and we both decided that I would stop working for her. He wants me to focus on enjoying my pregnancy, and he¡¯s been urging me to finish my book. His faith in my dream and me is what finally caused me to make a decision. She was naturally upset that I would be leaving her at the end of the month, just two weeks away, but she also understood why. I think her confidence in me really helped to make me see that this is the right move. I might have never had the courage to take this step, but I want nothing more than to make all of them proud of me. Page 33 Asher decided to stop taking so many cases that would put him leaving me for long periods. I could tell that he didn¡¯t want to miss a second of my pregnancy either, but I was starting to get worried about how we would support both of us and the baby on one¡ªcut-in-half¡ªincome. Asher explained to me that he¡¯s been working on some technical jobs the guys at Corps Security needed. He said that, with Maddox not around as much, he¡¯s been taking over for him with his normal duties. I felt a little better knowing that, even when Maddox came back to work, they would be keeping him on full time. He says that business is growing so quickly that they need the extra help.Advertisement So here we are. I¡¯m almost unemployed. Asher is starting with the CS crew. And we¡¯re working to start our lives together. I unlock the door and go to push it open, frowning when it catches on something. ¡°Uh, Ash?¡± I holler through the half-cracked door. ¡°Coming, Sunshine. Hold on. Shit, I¡¯m sorry. I meant to move that.¡± I hear some shuffling, sounds of him picking up and dropping something heavy, and then him letting out a tired sigh. What the hell is going on in there? When he swings the door open, all thoughts fly out of my head. His wearing just a pair of basketball shorts hanging low on his hips. His bare chest, chiseled muscles, and sweaty skin are just begging for my hands. I drop the mail in my hands, my purse hanging heavily in the crook of my arm, and all but attack. He laughs against my lips but lets me lead the show. My hand is pushing between the waistband of his shorts before the door even closes behind us. His groan is swallowed between my lips, and I moan at how hard and velvety he is in my hand. Thick and heavy with his arousal. I drop to my knees, ignoring his protest, and take him as deep as I can. His girth makes it hard for me to take him as far into my mouth as I wish I could. I decide to work with his swollen head, moving both of my fists in sync with my mouth, working him up to the point that his hands are both fisted in my hair and his substantial panting is falling down to my ears. Knowing that I¡¯m bringing this much pleasure to him is all the encouragement I need to keep going. I lick and suck, nibble and tease, caress his heavy sac, and the whole time, I can feel my body starting to heat. That familiar burn takes over my system and begs for release. I hum when I shift and the seam in my jeans rubs against my sensitive clit. Holy shit, I could come right now¡ªjust from sucking his cock. ¡°Chelcie, I want to be inside that perfect pussy when I come, coating your tight-ass cunt with a part of me, and marking your body. Fuck, Sunshine, just the thought of your slick heat dripping down my cock as me ready to blow. Lean up, baby.¡± I release his cock with a loud pop and take his hand when he helps me stand. He doesn¡¯t waste a second, his lips slamming down on mine with a teeth-clashing brutality that has my pussy screaming for fulfillment. ¡°I-I¡­ Fuck, I need you!¡± I scream when his hand moves to cup my pussy. ¡°I know what you need,¡± he rumbles. My pussy clenches at his voice. God, I need him. He picks me up, careful not to jostle me too much, and takes off to the bedroom. Standing me up next to the bed, he slowly peels my clothes from my body. His lips, tongue, and teeth create a trail of fire across my skin, and when he takes one of my heavy breasts in his hands, rolling my nipples roughly before closing his lips around the peek, I know I¡¯m seconds away from coming. And I damn sure want to be with him when I do. Pushing away at his shoulders, enjoying the look of shock when he falls back on the mattress, I finish stripping the rest of my clothes from my body. When I¡¯m completely naked, I take my hand and run it through my wet folds. His eyes darken and a rumble vibrates from his chest, causing my fingers to wet even more. I kneel, straddling his trim hips, and move my hand back to my pussy, opening my lips for him to see just how much I need him. His snarl is the fuel to my fire. Dipping two of my pink-tipped fingers deep into my pussy, I throw my head back and whimper. Curling my fingers, I hit that perfect spot deep within my body that causes my hips to rock forward, and I feel his hard erection bobbing against my arm, begging that I move and let him in. Wanting to see just how long he¡¯s going to let me have the driver¡¯s seat, I continue to fuck myself with my fingers, alternating between pumping them deep and swirling around my clit. I don¡¯t want to make myself come, so I avoid pressing against the one spot begging for it. My fingers are coated; I can feel my wetness starting to pool where my palm is cupped against my lips as my two digits pump slowly. ¡°Give them to me,¡± he barks. ¡°Fucking give them to me,¡± he spits coarsely through clenched teeth. I make a show of slowly pulling my fingers out of my body, walking my fingers up his body, tracing each defined ab, twirling around each nipple, before I finally give him what he wants. The second my fingers are within reach, he leans forward and takes them between his lips. His tongue curls around them, and he sucks in an intoxicating rhythm that has me panting and stars starting to pop in my vision. He releases my fingers. His teeth nipping my fingertips right when I¡¯m almost free of his mouth has me moaning again, rocking my hips forward on his cock. ¡°Take me inside you, Sunshine. Ride my cock until you come.¡± His face is pulled tight, his arousal burning me in his sapphire stare. Lifting up, I guide his thick cock inside and begin to do just as he demanded. I ride him hard. My hands start off on my tits as I gain speed, but when it becomes apparent that I need help steading myself, his hands come forward and help me move from their grasp on my hips. I move my hands back and brace myself on his muscular thighs. I bounce, rock, roll, and grind against him, my wetness echoing along with the slapping of our skin. ¡°Goddamn, your pussy is so fucking tight. Your walls are milking my cock, Sunshine. Fucking begging for my come.¡± His fingers dig in, and I¡¯m almost sure I¡¯ll bruise from the pressure. It is delicious. ¡°I¡¯m not going to last much longer,¡± he warns. I just hum my response, too close to my own completion to speak. Sensing my closeness, he takes one of his hands and moves it to my throbbing clit, pinching it roughly before he gives me a light slap against my lips. And just like that, I come with a ferociousness I never knew possible. By the time I stop screaming his name¡ªand God only knows what else¡ªI loosen the hold my fingers have on his legs and lean forward. I can tell he hasn¡¯t come yet. His face is flushed, lips drawn in so tight that they¡¯re turning white around the creases. His eyes though¡ªthey¡¯ve become so dark that they have that navy color I love so much. I lean up, slowly take him all the way to the root, and rock my hips, and we both let out a heavy breath when he swells even more within me. Page 34 ¡°Fuck me,¡± he pants. After leaning up, he lays me down with more gentleness than I thought him capable of then pulls his hips back. He pauses with his cock just centimeters away from slipping from my body before he slams home. I scream, my hands reaching up and pulling him down to my mouth. We swallow each other¡¯s cries as he takes what he needs from my body. Right before he comes, my body seizes in the second most delicious orgasm I¡¯ve ever experienced.Advertisement He grunts deep in his throat, his teeth biting my shoulder with just enough pressure to cause a little mini orgasm to rock through my body. Then he unclamps his teeth, throws his head back, and screams my name. ¡°Chelcie! Oh fuck, Chelcie!¡± I close my eyes and drift off to one hell of an orgasm-induced fog. Chapter 23 ¨C Asher After I¡¯m able to mentally find all the pieces of my brain that just splattered all over the ceiling, I look down at my woman as she¡¯s passed out with a small smile on her face. Fuck, that was the one of the hottest things I¡¯ve ever experienced. My legs feel like mush when I go to move off of her, and when my cock slips free of her body, I want to cry out from the loss of her tight walls hugging me. Looking down and seeing our joined releases falling out of her pussy has my dick throbbing for more. I close my eyes and will my erection down? but all I do is notice the heavy scent of her arousal feeding my nostrils. Fuck. Me. I climb off the bed, looking back at her. She¡¯s completely bare and spread wide for me, and I have to make myself walk to the bathroom. I clean myself off, smelling my fingers one last time before grabbing a washcloth and running it under the warm water. Walking back in our room, I smile a wicked smile when I see that she hasn¡¯t moved a muscle. Her long and lush legs are parted from where I was just seated deep, her arms having fallen to her sides in a lazy way and her breathing making her substantial tits and her beautiful, round belly rise and fall with even movements. She doesn¡¯t even stir when I clean her pussy. Not even a twitch when I bring my lips down and kiss her against her red pussy lips. Shaking my head, I grab a new pair of shorts and head back into the kitchen to finish the task I was in the middle of when she got home, stopping long enough to pick up the mail and grab her purse and keys to place on the entryway table. The smile never once leaves my lips. ¡°Mmm, that smells heavenly,¡± I hear softly spoken from behind me right before her arms wrap around my stomach. I see my abs clench when the jolt that always follows her skin touching mine shoots through me. ¡°Yeah, Sunshine, that¡¯s called dinner,¡± I joke. ¡°Dinner sounds good. All of a sudden, I¡¯m famished. Would you happen to know anything about that?¡± She snickers. ¡°Damn right I do.¡± She squeaks when I turn quickly and grab her by her hips. The feel of her soft body against my hard one causes my dick to stir in my shorts. There seems to be no shortage of my craving for her. She leans up on her toes, and I love how we fit together. Her stomach presses hard against my cock, her soft breasts hit me high on my abs, and with her face tipped up¡ªstaring at me with so much open love¡ªher chin rests at my collarbone. She feels perfect. ¡°Do you want to tell me why there are two small refrigerators in my closet?¡± she inquiries with a smile. ¡°About that¡­¡± I hedge. ¡°Yeah, about that. Maybe you could tell me why they¡¯re stuffed full of the most interesting things?¡± ¡°Just making sure everything is covered.¡± ¡°Asher, what on Earth could I possibly need a fridge full of pickles, almost every brand of cheese I¡¯ve ever heard of¡ªand some I haven¡¯t¡ªnot to mention the abundance in coleslaw? I¡¯m pretty sure I saw anchovies and pickled eggs when I was looking too, which, baby, that¡¯s just strange.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t forget the fruits and vegetables. They¡¯re in the second one. Did you not look in that one?¡± I ask, moving around her to open the refrigerator in the kitchen, ¡°Well, maybe I put them in this one. Hold on, Sunshine.¡± I start rooting around but don¡¯t see them. ¡°Are you sure they weren¡¯t back there?¡± I turn around and meet her eyes. She¡¯s trying hard not to laugh; I can see it in her eyes, which are shining brightly at me. ¡°This is not funny,¡± I say firmly. ¡°This is hilarious, baby,¡± she giggles. ¡°Did you go on a mission to find every food recorded as a pregnancy craving?¡± I can feel my skin heat. Fuck, when was the last time I blushed? ¡°This is serious, Chelcie. What if you¡¯re sitting here one day and you think ¡®Damn, I really wish I had some anchovies with Cheese Whiz¡¯? Well, no worries, because it¡¯s here. You want to nibble on some pickles and grab some ice cream? I¡¯ve got it taken care of. Go on. Look.¡± I push her towards the freezer, my chest puffing with pride. Yeah, that¡¯s right. I took care of my woman. She opens the fridge and almost gets nailed with a pint of Chunky Monkey when it falls from the cold depths. I see her lip twitch and decide to ignore it. This was genius. ¡°And what was blocking the door when I came in?¡± ¡°Ah! That was the juice. I got two of every brand they had. I wasn¡¯t sure if you would want something sweet or something with a little tart taste to it. So it¡¯s taken care of. I was moving the coats out of the closet by the front door when you came in. I need to make room for your juice.¡± I smile at her, proud as hell at all I¡¯ve accomplished today. She¡¯s silent for a moment, just looking at me then back to the freezer. She opens the fridge and sees the stuffed shelves before looking back over at me. She glances down at the floor for a few beats before she looks up at me again. ¡°Thank you, baby. That was very sweet of you. I¡¯m really glad that, if I ever need Cheese Whiz and anchovies, spinach, or olives, you¡¯ve taken care of it.¡± And just like that, my chest puffs up a little more. Damn, I¡¯m good. She rolls up to stand on the balls of her feet; I bend down and meet her lips for a few small kisses. ¡°Go on and relax. Dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes.¡± ¡°All right, baby.¡± She smiles, shakes her head, and walks away. I hear the TV click on before I turn back to the stove and finish cooking dinner for my woman. (Chelcie) I have never tried harder to keep my face blank. To keep the laughter that is threatening to burst loose. When I opened my closet and came face to face with two small, black fridges, I was instantly confused. But when I noticed what they were full of, it all started to click together. Page 35 Every cabinet and closet I looked in had been stashed with more odd foods. There were nuts in the bathroom drawers. There were chips¡ªof almost every brand and style¡ªstuffed in the guest bathtub. Apparently, I have a small juicer in my closet too. But even as funny as this is, I can¡¯t help but love him a little more for how much thought he put into his weird stocking.Advertisement I round the couch, grabbing the remote and clicking on the TV as I go. I spot the mail and snatch it up before settling on the couch. When I lean back, I feel it. I¡¯ve felt it a few times before, but this time, I can clearly feel my son making his presence known. ¡°Asher!¡± I scream, a huge smile taking over my face. He comes tearing into the room, looking all over for a threat before settling his confused eyes on me. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± he gasps. ¡°Come here! Hurry.¡± I keep my hands in the spot, the spot he is steadily kicking against from my womb. ¡°Here, give me your hand!¡± He reaches out without question, kneeling on the floor next to my leg. ¡°Do you feel it?¡± ¡°Do I feel what, Sunshine?¡± He hasn¡¯t stopped looking at my belly, where my hand is pressing his larger one hard against my swollen stomach. I wait for it, praying as hard as I can that I get another firm kick. It takes a few minutes before I know he¡¯s felt it. His eyes widen, and I watch as complete euphoria takes place of the confusion. His eyes shoot up to mine and I smile at him. ¡°Can you believe it?¡± I whisper, afraid that, if I speak any louder, I might scare the baby and he will stop. ¡°Beautiful,¡± he murmurs under his breath. Looking back up at me, he continues. ¡°Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for making sure I shared that with you, Sunshine.¡± He leans in and gives me his sweet kiss before bending down and placing one against my belly. ¡°God, I love you¡ªboth of you,¡± he says with a smile. ¡°I love you too, and if you want me to keep loving you as much as I do, you need to go cook my dinner.¡± He throws his head back, his rich laughter raining around me, and I love every second of it. I watch him walk back, his firm cheeks looking hot as hell in his shorts. Damn, I¡¯m one lucky woman. ¡°Ten minutes,¡± he calls from the kitchen. ¡°Gotcha.¡± I turn my attention back to the mail. Just bills, gossip magazines, and some junk. Apparently it¡¯s been a few days since I checked the mail. It¡¯s never full of this much junk. I am just about to toss everything except the bills when I catch an envelope that must have fallen from my pile. It¡¯s just a plain, white envelope with my apartment number on it. Weird. After tossing the other mail on the coffee table, I peel the back open and pull out the folded piece of paper before unfolding the single sheet and flipping it over so I can read the print. I gasp when I see the words that are staring back at me. If you know what¡¯s good for you ¨C you¡¯ll back the fuck off now. Or else. Oh my God! I can¡¯t stop my body from the uncontrollable fear that has taken over. My muscles have seized up in horror of what I hold in my hands. Coming out of my shock, I throw the letter from my grasp and jump from the couch before running into the kitchen. Asher looks amused at first¡ªuntil he sees whatever look I¡¯m sporting. ¡°Chelcie, what is it? Are you okay?¡± He starts roaming his hands along my body, looking for something visible that would make me this upset. I just keep shaking my head, my breathing becoming erratic. His eyes get hard, and I can see the panic he¡¯s trying to hide. ¡°You have to tell me what has got you so upset so I can take care of it. Please,¡± he begs. Words are still beyond me. I pick my hand up and point one shaky finger towards the living room. ¡°You stay here, okay? I¡¯ll be right back.¡± I nod my head and hear him walk through the apartment. I know when he finds it because I hear his roar and feel its power shake the walls. He comes bursting back into the kitchen; his arms go around my body. One arm is holding me tight at my waist, the other cradling the back of my neck, holding my head to his chest. I can feel the power of his anger raging in his body. ¡°I promise you¡ªI will find out who the fuck sent that. You let me take care of this, Chelcie. I mean it. No harm is going to come to you or our boy.¡± I continue to shake in his arms, terrified for him, the baby, and me. He doesn¡¯t let up on his hold. I can smell our dinner burning, but I can¡¯t stop my body from the overpowering dread. What does this mean? Who was that for? And more importantly, what now? Chapter 24 ¨C Chelcie ¡°That¡¯s all it said?¡± Izzy asks from the floor, where she¡¯s playing with Nate. She¡¯s been in the same spot since she arrived at my apartment earlier. ¡°Yeah. Scary, right?¡± I look around, meeting each of their eyes. Izzy looks confused, Dee¡¯s worried, and Melissa looks pissed. ¡°What did Asher say?¡± Dee questions. ¡°He told me not to worry about it. That he would take care of it, but it¡¯s been two weeks and he¡¯s been so distant lately. He¡¯s gone before I wake up and I¡¯m already asleep when he comes home. The little that I have seen him was in passing when he came home to change his clothes.¡± I¡¯ve been so worried about the distance between us. I¡¯ve tried to talk to him about it, but every time I try, he just gives me one of his sweet kisses and tells me to stop worrying. I¡¯m terrified and I feel so alone. ¡°He¡¯s been at CS. Axel says that he¡¯s there every morning and stays long after they all have gone.¡± ¡°Goddammit. He¡¯s researching that man again! I thought we had moved past it. I mean, I knew that he was still looking into him, but I didn¡¯t think it was as bad as before.¡± My heart hurts. I think I¡¯ve known that there was a chance that even my love wouldn¡¯t keep him from this crazy, quest for vengeance. There can¡¯t be anything good that comes from his bloodthirst to avenge Coop¡¯s death. I get it¡ªI really do¡ªbut that doesn¡¯t mean I don¡¯t feel hopeless to stop this. ¡°What man?¡± Izzy asks. ¡°Dominic Murphy,¡± I shudder. ¡°The man who put everything in motion. The man who is single-handedly responsible for everything that happened to you, Dee. And the man Asher is hunting so that he can make him pay for Coop¡¯s murder.¡± All of their eyes widen. I know Dee knew that he has been researching him, but I don¡¯t think anyone besides Maddox and I knew just how deep he was swimming in this shit. Page 36 ¡°Do you think it¡¯s from him?¡± Melissa asks with worry clearly written all over her face. She hands one of her twin daughters¡ªLyndsie, I think¡ªover to Dee and shifts the other sweetheart onto her shoulder to give her a burp. I look over at Dee, who is doing the same. I have no idea how Melissa has learned to breastfeed both babies at the same time.Advertisement I meet her eyes and let her see my worry. Maybe if she talks to Greg, he can talk some sense into Asher. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine anyone else it could be. I don¡¯t know anyone here beyond all of y¡¯all, and unless Dee is pissed that I¡¯m no longer working for her, then I can¡¯t comprehend who else it could be. It makes sense. Who else would say that?¡± The whole situation is both confusing and terrifying. I can¡¯t even leave the apartment without becoming so fearful of my surroundings that I¡¯m teetering on the verge of having a panic attack. And I know my rising anxiety isn¡¯t good for the baby, so I haven¡¯t left. I stay here day in and day out, praying that everything is going to be okay. ¡°You need to talk to Asher, babe. Don¡¯t let this fester,¡± Dee whispers. I know she means well, and Lord knows I love her, but I don¡¯t keep things from Asher. She and Beck had a crappy start, and I know she¡¯s speaking from experience, but my not talking to Asher has nothing to do with avoiding the topic. I haven¡¯t been able to get him in the same room with me long enough to have a conversation. I think he believes that, by shutting me out completely, he¡¯s doing me a favor, but the worry for him is worse than the fear of the unknown. I don¡¯t know what I would do if I lost him. If we lost him. ¡°I¡¯m going to make sure he talks to me today. I¡¯ve been trying so hard to stay up and wait for him to come home, but my body always wins the fight and I¡¯m passed out long before he comes home. I set my alarm on my phone to go off every hour, and I don¡¯t care if I have to do it all night¡ªI will be awake when he gets home. If he¡¯s asleep when it goes off, I¡¯m going to wake him up and demand answers.¡± ¡°Hell yeah!¡± Melissa cheers. ¡°If you need anything, promise you¡¯ll call?¡± Izzy asks. ¡°I¡¯ll call, but I won¡¯t need anything other than my man to talk to me.¡± She smiles sweetly at me and goes to pull herself off the floor. Her stomach is just now starting to show signs of her pregnancy. ¡°I¡¯m going to head home. Nate hasn¡¯t been sleeping well at night, so I told Axel that we needed to have an early dinner and get him down before his normal bedtime. I hope that works. You let me know if you need anything, Chelcie.¡± She leans in and gives me a hug. I give Nate a big hug, laughing when he kisses my stomach and warns me to ¡°bez car full.¡± ¡°Such an alpha baby,¡± Dee mumbles. ¡°I¡¯m going to head out too,¡± Melissa says. ¡°Greg has Cohen down at the office, and the last time I let him stay all day, he was up all night fighting the bad guys. I swear, one day, that boy is going to turn into a carbon copy of Greg.¡± She gathers up the babies¡¯ blankets off the floor, stuffs some of her diaper items back in the diaper bag, and snaps both girls into their car carriers. ¡°Do you need help down?¡± I ask. ¡°Nope. I¡¯ve got this down to a science now. And like I would let your pregnant ass lift these heavy things. No freaking way. Later, Dee. Chelcie, I¡¯m here if you need me, okay?¡± I nod, standing to give her a hug before walking her to the door. Once I come back to the living room, I don¡¯t even waste any time. ¡°Well, spit it out, Dee. I know you¡¯re over there thinking all sorts of crazy shit.¡± ¡°What if this isn¡¯t about the letter? What if he¡¯s having second thoughts? I hate saying it, Chelc¡­ Hell, I hate thinking it. This whole thing is crazy complicated between you, and I just don¡¯t want to see you hurt. Maybe the letter is nothing? Maybe he¡¯s just¡­ God, I don¡¯t know,¡± she sighs. One thing that annoys me about Dee is when she lets her own insecurities about men in general pass on to others. I recognize where she¡¯s coming from. You don¡¯t just turn that stuff off¡ªa pain that has been a part of you for your whole life¡ªbut that doesn¡¯t give her a right to place that bullshit on Asher¡¯s shoulders. ¡°Dee,¡± I warn. ¡°I know¡ªI¡¯m sorry. I just¡­ Shit. I just worry about you.¡± She shrugs her shoulders and sinks back against the couch. ¡°Okay, Dee. I appreciate where you¡¯re coming from, but let me tell you right now that if you ever insult the man I love like that again, I won¡¯t be responsible for what I do.¡± Her eyes widen, but I keep going. ¡°He has done nothing to deserve that shit you just spewed all over the place. He¡¯s had a hard time, but you know that any one of us would have felt the same pain he did when Coop died. Yeah, I know how our situation is complicated, but that¡¯s just it, Dee. It¡¯s our situation. It¡¯s brought us together. This baby, this very loved baby of ours, is our miracle. We don¡¯t look at it as a complication. I can assure you that he loves this baby because it¡¯s part of me. Yes, he loves this baby because he¡¯s a part of his brother too¡ªbut that by no stretch of the imagination means that he is transferring his feelings for the baby into some confused love.¡± I take a deep breath, never letting my eyes leave her shocked ones. I have never talked to her like this, but I¡¯m not going to stand here in the middle of my own personal shit storm and let her throw Asher in the ¡®bad guy¡¯ category. ¡°We all have that person, Dee. Beck is yours. Axel is Izzy¡¯s. Melissa¡¯s is Greg. Hell, Emmy¡¯s is Maddox. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. We have that person who makes us complete. He is my person.¡± ¡°You have been watching too much Grey¡¯s Anatomy,¡± she says under her breath. ¡°Dee! Did you even fucking hear me? He¡¯s my person! He would never doubt our relationship or me. What is complicated to you is our perfect. We took the lemons life threw at us and started a lemonade-making factory. This, this love that you¡¯re questioning¡ªthis love is perfect.¡± My chest is heaving. God, it felt good to get that all out. I won¡¯t even lie¡ªwhen I was on day five without seeing him, I let the same doubts filter through my mind until I realized how ridiculous I was being. Asher would never give up on me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I just worry about you. I worry about you both, but I don¡¯t like seeing you hurting.¡± She looks down, clearly ashamed that she let her own handicaps cloud what she knows is right. Page 37 ¡°I¡¯m only hurting because I don¡¯t know how to help him. I¡¯m not asking you to borrow trouble. My pain is because I feel powerless to ease his pain. Not because he¡¯s hurting me.¡± ¡°I get it. Just promise me that, if you need something, you¡¯ll call. Don¡¯t sit here and let it fester a second longer. If you miss him again tonight, call me in the morning and I promise you I will make sure you can corner his ass.¡±Advertisement ¡°That won¡¯t be necessary, Dee,¡± I hear over my shoulder. The deep rumble of his voice sends shivers racing across my skin. ¡°I can assure you that the only thing she needs right now is¡±¡ªhe pauses and looks over at me, his face unreadable¡ª¡°her person.¡± I melt¡­ Right there, I melt. It all washes away¡ªthe last two weeks of worry, hurt that he¡¯s shut me out, and pain that I don¡¯t know how to help. All that matters is that he¡¯s here now. ¡°Uh, got it. I¡¯ll see myself out,¡± she meekly says. I might have said goodbye, but the only thing my mind can comprehend at this moment is that my man is finally here. He isn¡¯t avoiding me anymore and I can finally figure out where his head has been since that ill-fated night we opened that letter. Chapter 25 ¨C Asher I wait until Dee leaves before stomping over to the door and turning all the locks. I¡¯m giving myself a second to calm down before I go talk to Chelcie. Coming in to hear Dee trying to tell Chelcie that I¡¯m doubting our relationship¡­ Second-fucking-guessing? Jesus Christ. Just thinking about hearing her talking that shit makes me want to hurt someone. It¡¯s a good thing she left because I was about two seconds away from blowing my fuse. Never did I think that Chelcie would think that, but hearing that garbage and for just a second letting myself believe that Chelcie could for a second believe it is making my blood boil. ¡°You know I don¡¯t believe her? Right?¡± she says, coming up behind me and resting her forehead against my back, moving her arms slowly¡ªand fucking hesitantly¡ªaround my waist. Hell. Fucking. No. It kills me that there is even a shadow of doubt in us right now. And I did this to her. I grasp her wrists and pull her hands around me tightly, lacing our fingers together and letting my chin drop to my chest. With just her touch, the anger I was feeling towards Dee and her verbal vomit evaporates. I¡¯m exhausted, worried, and fuck me¡ªscared. Scared for Chelcie and scared for our boy. Now on top of that, I¡¯m scared that she doubts my commitment to her. Fuck me; there is no way I¡¯m going to let that happen. ¡°Hold on, Sunshine. Let me grab something, okay?¡± She takes a step back, my body instantly missing the feel of her against me. Turning sharply, I prowl through the house¡ªa man on a mission¡ªand grab the one thing that¡¯s been burning a hole in my pocket for the last three weeks. The one thing that I know will end all of this doubt she¡¯s feeling. I know the timing isn¡¯t ideal, but we¡¯ve done everything else in some weird, convoluted web of twisted. Ass backwards, unconventional, and hell, there¡¯s no reason that we shouldn¡¯t keep some sort of a trend going. When I come back into the living room, I find her gazing out the balcony door. There isn¡¯t much other than trees to look at, so I know she¡¯s just lost in thought. I take a deep breath and walk over to her. ¡°Sunshine. Do you love me?¡± Well, Asher¡ªgreat fucking lead-in there, dumbass. She tilts her head, her lips just barely tipping up. ¡°Of course I love you, you silly man.¡± ¡°That shit with Dee¡­ Do you think that I would be with you out of obligation? Think hard about that, Chelcie. You know my past with females and you know how hard it was for me to trust.¡± ¡°There is nothing that would make me doubt your reasons for being here, baby,¡± she whispers. ¡°You know that I love you. You¡¯re my light, Sunshine. You¡¯re my reason for everything that I do. You¡¯re my person,¡± I say, parroting her earlier words. Her eyes widen and tears start to fill them. Damn, I need to hurry this up before she loses it. ¡°Right.¡± I look down, fiddling with the words I need to say. I look up, and before I can speak, she launches herself at me. I quickly move my hips back so that her stomach doesn¡¯t take the impact. She¡¯s gotten bigger in the last two weeks, and I mentally kick myself for not being here, for missing just a second of it. With my hips pulled back from her body, her lips are just a short distance from my neck. She lifts up, coming up as far as she can on her toes, and gives me a soft kiss against my neck. I go to straighten, but she tightens her hold on my neck. I feel her warm breath against my ear before her tongue darts out to trace the shell. Then, after the jolt passes through my body, she whispers softly, ¡°Yes.¡± I pull back, confused as hell about where this conversation just went. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Yes, baby. It would have been a lot easier if you would have let me buy a ring and get down on my knee to ask¡­but hey, what¡¯s one more thing we do our own way? That¡¯s just one of the things I love about you, Asher James Cooper. You march to the beat of your own drum.¡± Well I¡¯ll be dammed. ¡°Did you just propose to me, woman?¡± I try to scowl, but she just smiles brighter. That damn light that erases my darkness is shining so bright that I¡¯m convinced that, in this moment, she¡¯s wholly chased all of my demons from the past away. The grin that takes over my face is so large that I can feel my cheeks burning. Damn, I¡¯m one lucky man. ¡°Uh, baby¡­I did not propose to you. I answered your stuttering attempt at one to me. Just beat you to the punch,¡± she giggles, and that sound shoots straight through me. My heart feels like it¡¯s so full it could burst. ¡°Do I at least get to see my ring?¡± ¡°Come here, you beautifully perfect, smartass woman of mine. Let me do this right.¡± She swiftly closes the distance between us, almost tripping over her feet in order to do so. I take a deep breath¡ªnot for courage, but because I can smell her delectable scent. Closing my eyes and picturing her beautiful face makes no sense since the real thing is right in front of me. Opening my eyes, I lean forward and give her a soft kiss. Her eyes start to water when I fold myself down to one knee and reach up to frame her stomach, giving our boy a nuzzle with my nose, a quick ¡®I love you,¡¯ and kiss. I grab one of her hands¡ªthe left one¡ªpull the ring out of my pocket, and place it on her finger. Page 38 ¡°Chelcie Nicole Avery. The day you walked into my life, I knew I would forever crave your light. You¡¯ve taught me so much. I don¡¯t look for the bad in everyone anymore. I see beauty in everything around me. I look forward to waking up with you pushed close to my body and my hand resting against our son. You¡¯ve given me back a life I didn¡¯t know I was close to losing. A second chance that I needed to be the man you believe I am. Every day, I wake up and want to do everything I can to prove to you that I am that man. You¡¯re my everything, Sunshine. You¡¯ve made me whole again.¡± I lean forward and kiss her finger that has my ring shining bright. Just like her, its light reminds me once again how much this woman means to me. ¡°I love you, Chelcie, and it would make me the happiest man on Earth if you would marry me. Be my person for the rest of our lives.¡± Her smile hasn¡¯t slipped, and for once, I don¡¯t even bother trying to stop the tears. I can feel some of my own starting to burn at the back of my throat.Advertisement ¡°Yes! God, yes!¡± she sobs. ¡°I love you so much, baby.¡± I shiver when she calls me that. Every single time. It¡¯s like a drug for me. She calls me baby and I want to drop to my knees and offer her the world. ¡°I love you too, Sunshine.¡± Chapter 26 ¨C Chelcie Asher just left the bed to grab me some water. My throat is burning¡ªin a good way¡ªfrom screaming his name so many times. He didn¡¯t waste a second. I said yes, and the next thing I knew, I was in his arms while he charged through the apartment. A man on a mission. He took me hard the first time, both of us needing it. The second time was slow and sweet¡ªand if you asked me, I would swear the Earth moved. We still need to talk, but right now, with my heart this full, I couldn¡¯t stop smiling if I tried. ¡°What¡¯s that smile all about?¡± he inquires from the side of the bed. I roll my head and take in every fine-as-hell inch of his tan skin. His muscles are bulging, and a fine sheen of sweat covers his body. His cock is still semierect, and I smirk wickedly when I see him start to swell under my gaze. ¡°You¡¯re so damn fine,¡± I sigh. He laughs, hands me the water, and walks over to the bathroom. I admire his backside as he walks, each firm globe flexing as he strolls lazily. ¡°Damn,¡± I hiss. He turns and gives me a sinful smirk before stepping into the bathroom and out of my line of sight. I take a deep pull of the ice-cold water he brought me before setting it down on the nightstand. ¡°Lean back and spread ¡®em,¡± he rumbles when he walks back up to the side of the bed. I gape at him for a second. Then he holds up the washcloth in his hands with a wink. ¡°Someone sure is thinking some naughty thoughts. You need a spanking, Sunshine? Have you been a bad girl?¡± My pussy convulses at his words. He¡¯s spanked me a few times¡ªwhen things got rough¡ªand each time, I came harder than the last. Damn, I love this man. I lean back, making a slow show of spreading my legs. ¡°I might be pregnant, but last time I checked, my arms still work, baby. I think I¡¯m capable of cleaning my own body.¡± ¡°And you would deny me this? Baby, seeing my come falling out of your tight cunt is probably one of the hottest things I¡¯ve seen. I¡¯m inside you, and my come is marking your body as mine. There isn¡¯t anything more arousing. Well, maybe there is¡ªbut this¡­ Fuck, you have no idea.¡± After he finishes wiping every inch of my pussy, my legs are quivering with the strength of holding back my orgasm. How embarrassing is it that I¡¯m seconds away from exploding and all he¡¯s doing is wiping me off. He looks up from where his head has been leaning in while he was cleaning me off, noticing the heat in my eyes and I¡¯m sure the blush that covers my skin. His eyebrow cocks and that lethal grin takes over his lips. Without breaking eye contact, he leans forward and gives me one long lick of his warm tongue. Lifting up, I¡¯m confused for a breath of a second, and then I feel his hand pop down on my pussy. His fingers hit with just enough pressure against my swollen nerves that I throw my head back and scream. My eyes roll back in my head, my toes curl, and I gasp with the power of this orgasm. My whole body is blazing white hot. ¡°Oh, God. Oh my God. Holy. Jesus!¡± I scream again, another wave of pure bliss crashing over me when he dips two thick fingers in deep. I feel like I¡¯m being tugged under in some riptide of pleasure and it¡¯s almost too much for me to bear. ¡°That¡¯s it, Sunshine. That¡¯s it,¡± he coos in my ear as I ride the wave, helpless to do anything but hold on to him tight. ¡°Fuck, the way you milk my fingers makes me so hard.¡± I feel his weight shift, and just when I think I¡¯m coming down from the second wave, he is pushing his thick cock in deep and prolonging my orgasm. He¡¯s leaning up on his knees, careful to keep his weight off my stomach, and pushing in quick bursts. It doesn¡¯t take long before I¡¯m barreling over yet another wave. Or hell, maybe I¡¯ve been riding the same one, in some funnel of pleasure that my body doesn¡¯t know how to escape from¡ªand doesn¡¯t want to. It doesn¡¯t take long, despite the fact that, in the last few hours, he¡¯s already come twice; he pushes in deep and rolls his hips. His face is the picture of ecstasy as he empties himself inside me again. I always used to read the books where the hero would come, and come, and come¡­and then come again. I¡¯d roll my eyes, thinking that surely there was no way a man like that¡ªwith stamina of a god¡ªexists. Tonight, Asher proved me wrong. Those men definitely do exist. And he¡¯s all mine. I can feel myself getting tired, but I know I can¡¯t go to sleep until Asher and I have talked. I don¡¯t feel right with this entire unknown, ticking time bomb sitting between us. I need to know where he¡¯s coming from, where his head is, and what his plans are. He comes back from dropping another used washcloth in the dirty laundry hamper and climbs in behind me, curling his arm around my body and pulling me close. His palm instantly goes to my stomach and caresses the tight skin. I can feel our son rolling around, and I smile when I feel Asher laugh against my back. ¡°We need to talk, baby,¡± I start. He sighs. ¡°I know.¡± ¡°Do you want to start? Maybe let me in and tell me what¡¯s kept you gone for the last two weeks? I¡¯m not going to even lie, Ash. It killed me to think that I wasn¡¯t enough for you to let in and let help. I¡¯m not going to crumble. I¡¯m here to walk this road with you, remember?¡± Page 39 ¡°Sunshine, I saw your distress. I saw how much that letter shook you, and it killed me that something I¡¯m doing could be the cause of your fear.¡± I turn, rolling onto my other side and grabbing his hand to hold it between both of mine. I admire how strong his long fingers are, just like he is. ¡°Of course I was afraid, Asher. That¡¯s the normal reaction that anyone would feel if they were in the same position. That didn¡¯t mean that I needed you to protect me from knowing what was happening. I want to be that person you confide in. I want to help you, Asher.¡±Advertisement ¡°You know I never stopped looking into Dominic, right?¡± I nod my head. I do in fact know how much he¡¯s researched his target. I helped him for months, compiling everything we could find on that scumbag. ¡°Yeah, I didn¡¯t think you stopped. I had hoped, but I think deep down I knew you hadn¡¯t given up.¡± He closes his eyes tight, moving his forehead in that way he does so that it¡¯s resting against mine. His harsh breathing is dancing with each one of my calm breaths. ¡°I have enough intel on him now that it wouldn¡¯t take much for me to end this tomorrow. I know where he is at almost every second thanks to a tracking device I was able to slip under his car. When he leaves his compound, I know. I¡¯ve been following his every move for the last eight days.¡± His admission shocks me to the core. He¡¯s been putting himself in danger. Recklessly kicking his thirst for vengeance into overdrive because of one stupid letter. ¡°Oh, baby¡­no,¡± I plead, shaking my head rapidly against his. ¡°I have to, Chelcie. I don¡¯t know any other way to explain it. I feel like if I don¡¯t take care of him that Coop will never rest in peace.¡± ¡°Oh you silly, silly man.¡± He draws back as if I¡¯ve slapped him. I quickly finish before he gets the wrong impression. ¡°Your brother knew exactly what he was doing that day. I might not have seen it happen with my own eyes, but I know what kind of man he was¡ªwhat kind of man you taught him to be¡ªwell enough to know that he didn¡¯t act without weighing all his options. It was a grim situation at any angle you look at it.¡± I take a deep breath and let go of his hand so that I can hold his face framed in my palms. I need to be able to look him in the eyes when I say this. He needs to see the truth within my own. ¡°Don¡¯t you see it, Ash? You¡¯re the one who taught him to be the man he was. You gave him every single tool he needed in order to become that man. He stepped in front of that bullet because he was brave and selfless. He did it so that he could save someone else, knowing damn well that, if something went wrong, he was sacrificing his own life. You can¡¯t keep beating yourself up because you weren¡¯t there to protect him. I see you, baby. I know you think this misguided quest of vengeance is what Coop would want, but if you really believe that¡ªreally believe in your heart that he wanted that¡­¡± I pause to collect my thoughts when I see his eyes flash. ¡°If you really believe that, baby, then you didn¡¯t know him at all.¡± His body is strung so tight right now that I know this is impossibly hard for him to hear, but I need him to hear it. I need him to hear it and I pray that he understands. ¡°This quest to right a wrong, the vengeance that you¡¯re seeking? He wouldn¡¯t want that. You have to start living your life for the future that you¡¯re alive for, not the past that you¡¯re willing to die for.¡± His eyes close slowly, one lone tear falling down his face, and I quickly sweep it away with my thumb. ¡°I¡¯m so close, Sunshine. I¡¯m so close to ending it all. So close to ending this pain. I don¡¯t know if I can stop.¡± His hushed words break my heart. I ache for him. ¡°You can, baby. You know you can. Talk to me. Why do you think that ending this monster¡¯s life would be worse than turning all of your evidence over to the right channels and making sure that he really pays? Don¡¯t you think a life behind bars is far worse than a quick death? You really need to think about that, Asher, because by you being willing to continue down this path means that you¡¯re willing to put everything we¡¯ve been building in jeopardy. If something goes wrong, you could be the one who ends up behind bars. Or worse, you could end up dead, and I¡¯m telling you right now¡ªI don¡¯t think I would survive that loss. I don¡¯t want to have to explain to little Zac why his daddy isn¡¯t here.¡± It¡¯s taking every ounce of control that I possess not to break down right now. I keep my voice steady and my words strong, knowing that, if I break down, he might not hear I word I say. ¡°Zac?¡± he questions with a furrow of his thick brows. ¡°Our son, Asher. Zachariah Asher Cooper, but I¡¯ve been calling him Zac for short.¡± I give him a small smile and watch in fascination as a million emotions filter through his mind on his face. My big, strong man is falling apart, and I do the only thing I know to do¡ªI pull him closer and drop my forehead to his. I rub his back as he gasps rapidly, trying to calm the war of emotions inside him down. He doesn¡¯t speak. He does his best at keeping it locked tight, but a few broken sobs break through his lips. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying with him. I just run my fingers through his hair and down his back, holding him tight within my arms. Giving him back the strength he¡¯s been giving me since the day I met him. After a long time of heavy breathing and a few more sobs, I hear him clear his throat. He doesn¡¯t look up, but I know he¡¯s about to address me, so I mentally hold on in preparation for what is to come. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to the guys tomorrow. I¡¯ll give them all the intel I have, and together, we will decide what the best course is. I¡¯m not giving you any promises, Sunshine, but I will see what they think, and if they agree with you, then I¡¯ll call a good friend of mine with the DEA and give them everything. For Coop¡ªand for you¡­and Zac. For all of us. I¡¯ll make sure that I do the right thing,¡± he sighs. ¡°I want you to be there with me so that you know everything that¡¯s going on, okay?¡± I let out the breath I didn¡¯t realize I was holding, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. His arms come around me and we hold each other, soaking up the love we have and the knowledge that, from now on¡ªno questions¡ªwe¡¯re in this together. Chapter 27 ¨C Asher Damn, it¡¯s been one crazy week. I¡¯ve been running after the same skip¡ªthree different states¡ªand finally, I¡¯ve caught up to the slimy bastard. Of all the places I have to end the chase, it has to be a strip club. After almost starting a brawl in the club, I finally manage to secure the bastard and make my long drive home. Page 40 Almost twelve hours later, with the afternoon sun blazing high in the sky, I feel like my body is literally dragging on the ground. I just want to get back to my apartment and crash. Hell, I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if I sleep for a week straight. The first thing I do when I climb my tired ass up the old stairs to my one-bedroom rent-by-the-week apartment is pull out my phone and call Coop. It¡¯s been almost two weeks since we talked last, and I hate going that long without checking on him.Advertisement ¡°Ash!¡± he bellows through the line, making me wince. Damn migraine. ¡°Hey, brother. How¡¯s it going?¡± ¡°Uh, you know¡ªsame shit, different day. We¡¯ve got some kind of crazy going down here. I¡¯m starting to think it wouldn¡¯t feel normal if things weren¡¯t falling to shit.¡± He laughs. Leave it to Coop to find something in any situation to laugh about. You never would have guessed that he was the same kid who used to cower meekly in the corner. Damn, I¡¯m so proud of the man he¡¯s become. ¡°Yeah, not sure that¡¯s something to be excited about, man.¡± ¡°No sense in acting like someone pissed in my Cheerios either.¡± ¡°Guess you¡¯ve got me there, Coop.¡± I laugh dryly. Damn, I¡¯m tired. ¡°What¡¯s got you down, big brother?¡± he worries. I consider how much I want to tell him. I¡¯ve always tried to keep him from seeing just how lonely I am. I know he¡¯s content with his life, but sometimes I wish he felt differently about his outlook on the future. The ¡®fuck and run¡¯ we¡¯ve both mastered over the years is getting old as hell. For once, I¡¯m starting to wish I weren¡¯t so fucked up and I could find some normal Suzie Homemaker and make some normal life for myself. ¡°You ever get sick of this shit, Coop? I just spent the last seven days on the road chasing after this dirtbag that skipped out on his bail¡ªagain¡ªonly to come home to my empty apartment. Hell, I don¡¯t even really have an apartment. I pay for this crap weekly and there is nothing of mine here. All this furniture came with the rent. I don¡¯t know, brother. I guess I¡¯ve just been wondering if there¡¯s more out there for me. For us.¡± He¡¯s silent long enough for me to think that the call dropped, but he clears his throat and I sit, waiting to hear what he¡¯s going to say. This isn¡¯t the first time we¡¯ve talked about wanting something more. Or rather I¡¯ve talked and he¡¯s listened silently. ¡°I didn¡¯t realize you were still feeling this way, Asher.¡± He exhales. ¡°Just because I don¡¯t want more¡ªever¡ªdoesn¡¯t mean that you can¡¯t have it. Look, we had one fucked-up childhood. Things got easier for you when you got older, and I guess I still see things differently. I refuse to ever be that weak motherfucker again. I¡¯m in charge of my life, me alone, and I will never give another person the power to hurt me. I get it, man. I really do. The guys here seem to be dropping like flies, and their chicks aren¡¯t anything like she was. They¡¯re really amazing ladies. But even knowing that there¡¯s something different than her out there doesn¡¯t change my mind.¡± He takes a deep breath, and I imagine him pacing around, collecting his thoughts. ¡°I¡¯m happy with my life the way it is, Ash. I¡¯ve got some great friends here, my own place, a job I love, and enough pussy to last me a lifetime. The only thing that could make that better is if you gave up that bounty hunter shit and came to work with us.¡± ¡°Yeah, not sure that¡¯s going to happen. I like the challenge of my work,¡± I argue. ¡°Whatever. The point is, I don¡¯t need more to be happy. I¡¯ve got a good life, brother, and if it were all over tomorrow, I wouldn¡¯t have one damn thing that I regret. You only live once, right?¡± ¡°Did you just YOLO me? Damn, Coop, we need to get you graduated from high school,¡± I laugh. ¡°Hardy har har. Laugh all you want. You know I¡¯m right.¡± His deep chuckle comes through the line, and I smile, picturing him standing there, smiling like a freaking idiot. ¡°Miss you, little brother.¡± ¡°Yeah, and I kind of miss you too, big brother.¡± We talk for a little while longer. He catches me up to speed on some of the shit he and the boys at Corps Security have been dealing with. I¡¯ve got to say, it sure as hell doesn¡¯t seem like the boring job I was picturing. By the time we hang up, I can already feel my eyes getting heavier. With promises to get together soon for a much-needed brothers vacation, I remind him to wrap up his junk, and with some quick ¡®I love yous¡¯ later, I¡¯m laying my head down on my pillow. Just talking to Coop makes me feel lighter than I did just minutes before. I hate that he feels the way he does about life in general. I know he thinks that he¡¯s right¡ªthat every woman out there is just like our mother and Sarah Jane was. But I can¡¯t help but pray that, one day, I can prove him wrong. That, one day, I can meet a woman who will show him just how fulfilling it would be to give yourself to someone completely. One day, I vow. One day, I¡¯ll make that happen. Chapter 28 ¨C Chelcie I¡¯m so nervous. I keep running every possible scenario over in my mind. Asher will either decide to keep going down this dark path that I¡¯m not sure my ¡®light¡¯ will be able to keep him safe on. Or he will turn it all over to the authorities, guaranteeing that dirty bastard spends the rest of his life in jail. My stomach has been in knots all morning, I wasn¡¯t able to eat breakfast, and I even threw up a few times. My nerves are completely shot to hell. I know Asher is worried about me, and I hate that because his mind shouldn¡¯t be focusing on me right now. But no matter what I do, I can¡¯t seem to turn off the overwhelming sense of dread that is hanging over me like a thick blanket. A thick blanket of doom. I hate it. ¡°Sunshine, please try and eat something before we head over to CS. I don¡¯t like how upset you are.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll eat when we leave, okay? I might feel better by then.¡± It¡¯s worth a try. He looks at me, trying to gauge where my mind is right now. I give him a weak smile and try my best to act normal. ¡°All right. If you¡¯re sure, I¡¯m going to grab a shower before we head in.¡± He leans in and gives me one of those sweet kisses, holding his warm lips against my cold forehead and rubbing his large hand over my belly a few times. When I hear the shower turn on, I let out the breath I was holding. Fuck, I¡¯m a mess. And it doesn¡¯t help that my back has been killing me all week¡ªever since I went on a nesting frenzy and cleaned every inch I could reach of the apartment. Then I spent an even longer time working in Zac¡¯s nursery. We purchased all of his furniture and got it all up¡ªready to go. It¡¯s a room fit for a prince. Well, it¡¯s a room fit for a prince if he decides that he wants to play sports when he gets older. Asher had so much fun picking out the bedding and d¨¦cor for his room that I gladly went with the theme he wanted. Page 41 He and Beck painted the walls a warm tan color that complements the dark hardwood floors perfectly. We got some warm cream rugs to place on the floor and one large baseball-shaped one for the center of the room. He hung up the three large letters that spelled Zac¡¯s name on the wall last night, finally completing the room. We had two large, cherry wood bookshelves that were already full of different sports memorabilia, books, and stuffed animals. After a very long shopping trip with Dee, Zac¡¯s closet is now stuffed with more clothes than a newborn baby could ever need. Hell, I¡¯m pretty sure he has more clothes than both Asher and I have combined.Advertisement I wander down the hall and open the door to his room. I smile when I see all of the small touches that Asher picked out himself. From the baseball-shaped beanbag seat that is definitely something Zac won¡¯t need for a few years, to the tiny football mobile that hangs above his crib, and my personal favorite, the framed photo of Coop that sits proudly on his dresser, facing his crib. I feel my heart melt when I think about how happy Asher was when he placed that picture there. He set it down, stepped away, and considered its location in the room then moved it a few more times. Each time, he would circle the room and see what kind of view our son would have of his birth father. After closing the door silently, I make my way down the hall and into our bedroom to get dressed. Asher called the guys late last night and asked that they all meet us there at noon. All I can do now is hope that, at the end of the day, whatever is meant to happen does. I selfishly pray that the day ends with Asher turning over all of his evidence on Dominic Murphy. Asher is in the middle of shaving when I walk into the bathroom, dressed and almost ready to go. I decided to go for comfort today. At this point in my pregnancy, comfort is really all that matters, and with my nerves already going haywire, I need every advantage I can get. I have some loose-fitting maternity jeans, one of Asher¡¯s old USMC sweatshirt that still hangs large on my body¡ªeven with my expanding belly¡ªand my favorite pair of worn Chucks. ¡°Damn, you look hot in my clothes.¡± He reaches down to adjust himself, and I smile when I see the thick budge in his jeans. ¡°These days, your clothes are the only things that fit. I guess it¡¯s time for me to go get some more fat-girl clothes.¡± I sound like a brat. I don¡¯t mean to, but I¡¯ve been struggling with the new¡ªwide¡ªversion of my body. ¡°What have I told you, Sunshine? I fucking love your body. Your body is changing and growing because it¡¯s keeping our son alive. Don¡¯t ever think of that as a bad thing. It¡¯s goddamn beautiful.¡± He gives me a sweet kiss, laughing when he sees his shaving cream on my face, and then turns back to finish the task. With nothing left to do but wait, I head to my laptop and attempt to get some work done on my book. I¡¯m actually shocked to say that it¡¯s almost done. With all the extra time I¡¯ve had since I stopped working with Dee, I¡¯ve stepped my writing up and everything else just started to fall into place. My story, the one I have been molding for years now, is finally coming to fruition, and I feel an overwhelming sense of pride in my story and, more importantly, in myself. I have Asher to thank for that. For encouraging me to follow my dreams and never give up. I am just finishing another chapter when I feel him walk up behind me. He cuddles close and kisses my head. ¡°Are you ready to go?¡± he asks. ¡°Yeah. Just let me save this and turn everything off.¡± Once I¡¯ve grabbed my purse off the back of my computer chair, I walk down the hallway and work on strengthening my courage for what¡¯s to come. Time to make sure the emotional basket case is locked up tight and the strong woman Asher needs me to be right now is ready to play ball. I push all my fears, nerves, and worry aside and get ready to walk the road less traveled with my fianc¨¦. Damn, I love the sound of that. The drive to Corps Security doesn¡¯t take long. Since the apartments are pretty centrally located to everything in town, we make the short drive in about ten minutes. I notice when we pull up that we¡¯re one of the first to arrive. Sway isn¡¯t even manning his normal spot¡ªfront and center in his salon¡¯s front window. I swear, sometimes I wonder if that man even works. The only time I ever see him actually doing hair is when one of us girls goes in. Other than that, he¡¯s bopping around the room with his ever-present smile in place. I see Axel¡¯s huge black truck sitting next to Greg¡¯s minivan¡ªrather Melissa¡¯s minivan. Other than that, the parking lot is pretty vacant. I guess that¡¯s normal for a Sunday afternoon. All of the businesses around Corps Security close up on Sundays. The guys are normally closed as well, but with this emergency meeting, they didn¡¯t waste any time coming together and being there when Asher said that he needed them. Those men truly are the definition of brotherhood. I come out of my musing when Asher¡¯s hand gives mine a small squeeze. I look down to where our hands are laced together on his thigh before looking up and giving him a forced smile. He shakes his head and lifts my hand to give me a kiss. ¡°Everything is going to be okay, Sunshine. Trust me, okay?¡± I nod my head, not trusting my words. I just know that, if I open my mouth, all of my careful bravado will crumble. I get another squeeze of his hand before he lets go and climbs out. I watch his dirty-blond hair shine when the sun hits it. His face seems¡­almost peaceful, and I don¡¯t even let myself think of what that could mean. ¡°Let¡¯s head on in,¡± he says, reaching out to help me step down. ¡°Hey,¡± I whisper, grabbing his arm before he starts walking towards the door. ¡°I love you.¡± He gives me a heart-stopping smile, turning to wrap his arms around me. ¡°I love you, too,¡± he says against my temple. It seems weird to walk into the lobby of Corps Security and not see Emmy. I know there¡¯s a lot going on with her and Maddox right now, but this place just isn¡¯t the same without her bright smile greeting me. The last report I heard from Asher about those two was that he got a very short message from Maddox saying that he was handling shit and he had Cat. I don¡¯t know who the hell Cat is, but I hope that Emmy is okay with her. Even with Emmy gone, we usually had the pleasure of being greeted by a very attractive Davey. He¡¯s almost too attractive for his own good. His cheekbones are high and strong, his jaw is perfectly square, and when he smiles, his blindingly white teeth seem to blink at you. The girls always joke that he looks like he walked straight off a runway and strutted right into CS. Which I would believe since he managed to catch the eye of the master strutter himself¡ªSway. Those two have been a heavy and adorable item ever since they first met. Page 42 The lights are dim in the lobby since they aren¡¯t open for normal hours and are just coming in to meet in the conference room. There¡¯s the big light that comes from behind the large CS sign behind Davey¡¯s desk and the light that hangs over Coop¡¯s memorial portrait. Other than that, it¡¯s just dark and ominous. I follow Asher¡¯s lead when he heads down the hallway that I know leads to their offices as well as the conference room in the back. Axel and Greg are in deep conversation about the pros and cons in hunting big game. I don¡¯t even want to know what the hell that means. I shiver at the thought, causing Asher to tighten his hold on my hand and look at me in question. I just shake my head and look around the room.Advertisement ¡°Hey, guys,¡± I say when we step into the room, doing my best to plaster on a happy smile. ¡°Hey, Chelc. How are you feeling?¡± Greg asks warmly. ¡°I¡¯m doing okay, just tired. Pretty sure that¡¯s normal though¡ªall things considered.¡± He laughs when I wave my hand over my big belly. ¡°You have no idea. Melissa was tired all the time. Just nap when you can. She said that helped.¡± ¡°Izzy was the same way with Nate. Things seem to be different this time around though. Hang in there. You¡¯re almost done.¡± Axel smiles at me, but before I can address them, I¡¯m beat to the punch. ¡°Yeah, bet that¡¯s because it¡¯s a girl this time,¡± Beck jokes when he joins the group. ¡°That would be interesting with how protective you are of Izzy and Nate. I can see it now. You¡¯re going to have that baby in a bulletproof bubble before she can talk.¡± I laugh because, really, he probably isn¡¯t wrong. Axel is crazy about Izzy and Nate, almost to the point where it¡¯s overkill. She seems to love it, so I guess that works for them. Looking over at Asher, I think for the millionth time how lucky I am. He seems to have little bits of each of these strong alpha males¡¯ personalities in him. He has Axel¡¯s protectiveness without being over the top. If what Melissa tells us is correct, he shares Greg¡¯s bedroom skills. He has that huge heart of gold that Beck is famous for. And of course, he shares Maddox¡¯s strength and determination. I always found it fascinating how much these men all act like a family, but when you get right down to it, they really are brothers. Just minus the shared DNA. Sometimes I think that makes their bond stronger. They¡¯ve fought together, worked together, and lived their lives together. They have that bond that some siblings will never have. ¡°Come on, Sunshine. Have a seat and I¡¯ll go grab you a water.¡± I sit in the proffered seat and look around the room, once again feeling the claws of dread latching into my skin, digging in deep, and refusing to leave. ¡°Is everyone here?¡± Greg asks from the head of the table. ¡°Not yet,¡± Axel responds, walking up to Greg and punching him in the shoulder. Greg laughs and moves out of Axel¡¯s spot. ¡°Who isn¡¯t here yet?¡± Beck asks, looking around the room. ¡°Me.¡± I turn my head and shiver at the intensity of the gaze that locks with mine. ¡°Well, look what the cat dragged in,¡± Beck says, walking over to give Maddox one of those weird half-hug, half-backslap things that men do. ¡°When did you get back in town?¡± I¡¯m starting to feel a little uneasy with Maddox¡¯s black eyes still focused only on me. I don¡¯t think there are many people who could hold his gaze and not physically feel burned. He gives me just the barest of nods before stepping forward, a slight limp to his long gait. ¡°We¡¯ve been back a few days now,¡± he answers, coming around the table. He greets Axel and Greg the same way he did Beck. When he gets to Asher, my eyes widen. He pulls him close, his embrace different than the others, and turns his head to whisper something so that only Asher can hear. Asher¡¯s back gets tight, and I watch these two men interact with complete fascination. When Maddox finishes speaking to him, he pulls back, and whatever Asher says in response has a smile taking over his normally stoic mask. A smile that is so beautiful I let out a gasp before I can stop myself. Asher turns and gives me a smile of his own before pulling out the high-back, leather office chair and settling his large frame down. The guys are all speaking amongst themselves, so I take a moment to lean over and question Asher about what Maddox just said. ¡°Are you okay? That looked¡­interesting.¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± He looks over at me, his clear, blue eyes shining with a peace-like intensity. ¡°He just reminded me about something he told me a few months ago. He asked me how that darkness has been treating me, and damn, it felt good to tell him I have been standing in the middle of some hell of a sunshine for a while now.¡± Even though his words kind of make sense to me, the fact that Maddox is asking has me baffled. ¡°Don¡¯t worry your pretty little head over it, Chelcie. It¡¯s good, I promise you.¡± ¡°All right, let¡¯s get this started. Asher, why don¡¯t you go ahead and let us know what you need talk to us about.¡± Axel interrupts. I look around and notice that all four of the other men in the room have taken their seats, all staring intently at Asher and waiting for him to talk. Oh, God. This is it. I dig my fingers into the armrest on the chair, willing my body to calm down and my mind to stay sharp. This isn¡¯t about me; this is about Asher and making sure that he makes the best decision with the most favorable outcome. I know that, if anyone can see reason in his turning all of his information on Dominic Murphy over to the authorities, it will be these men. However, I also know that these men¡¯s sense of loyalty and passion runs deep. If they agree that vengeance is the way to go, there will be no way for me to talk him down from the ledge. ¡°As some of you know, I¡¯ve spent a good bit of time looking into Dominic Murphy. His empire of evil is essentially what lead to Coop¡¯s death. You all know the details on his connection, so I¡¯ll spare you those. I have been able to confirm from a few inside sources close to Dom that he did, in fact, put the word out that Coop¡¯s death had been taken to call on a debt. A debt that Coop didn¡¯t owe him. Dom doesn¡¯t care that he killed an innocent man. To him, it is nothing but a normal day in the office.¡± Asher reaches out, pulls my hand off the armrest, and places it on his firm thigh before returning his eyes to the men around the table. ¡°It¡¯s taken me months to get everything I have on this man. To get the proof I needed to pin Coop¡¯s demise on him and to get enough piled up on him that I could bury him underneath prison. I¡¯ve spent hours staking out his local businesses, places of leisure, and homes. I know the identity of each one of his closest allies. If he breathes, at this point, I¡¯ll know it. I¡¯ve gotten close enough to place tracking devices on six of his known vehicles as well as attached a few to his person when I was lucky enough to get close at a few restaurants he frequents. Not much, and if he isn¡¯t wearing the jackets in question or they aren¡¯t hanging within a close enough distance to pick up audio, they¡¯re basically worthless.¡± Page 43 He looks over at me to assess how I¡¯m holding it together. I give him a few squeezes to his leg and urge him to continue. Whatever he sees in my eyes is enough that he gives me a small nod and turns back again. ¡°I¡¯ve managed to collect audio confirmation about his involvement in Coop¡¯s murder. It might not be enough to convict him alone, but it is enough to paint him in one hell of a damning light.¡±Advertisement ¡°You¡¯ve managed to get this on your own without getting one of us to sit in on this with you? What the hell were you thinking?¡± Axel booms from his seat. ¡°Brother, I understand where you¡¯re coming from, but putting yourself in danger won¡¯t help a damn thing.¡± ¡°Well, with all due respect, brother, this wasn¡¯t your call to make. I¡¯ve been safe, I¡¯ve stayed hidden in the shadows, and trust me, he doesn¡¯t have a clue. If he did¡­¡± He pauses, looking over at me. ¡°If he did, then I wouldn¡¯t be sitting here right now.¡± ¡°It was reckless, Asher,¡± Greg throws in. ¡°Maybe so, but at that time, I didn¡¯t think I had anything to lose. Now¡­ Now, I know better.¡± I can feel my throat getting tight, and I will the impending tears away, blinking rapidly, taking my eyes off of Asher¡¯s proud strength, which seems to be emanating from his body. ¡°I had a long chat with Chelcie last night. She¡¯s helped me see things in a new light, and the reason that I¡ªthat we¡ªcalled you here is so that you can help me make this decision. I¡¯m not sure that I can trust myself when it comes to seeing the logic. I want to lead with my heart, anger, and grief. I think I can say now that, if I do that, then the outcome might not be favorable.¡± ¡°That makes sense. Hard to be objective with the target when you¡¯re seeing your pain. Pain that he¡¯s responsible for,¡± Axel grumbles. ¡°So tell us what you have,¡± Beck stresses. Greg and Maddox remain silent, their eyes hard. It¡¯s hard for me to judge what¡¯s going through their heads. I know that each of these men had a different relationship with Coop. Beck¡¯s and Greg¡¯s were arguably the closest. I think Maddox and Coop had shared a bond as well. Hell, judging by the fury that is coming off of him in waves, my guess is that he was closer to Coop than any of us know. ¡°Some more audio that could be used to convince a more in-depth investigation on him. But let¡¯s face it¡ªthey might have him on their radar, but they haven¡¯t been looking hard enough. It took me a handful of months dedicated to trailing his every movement, another few months hacking into every system that Dominic might have touched with the smallest fingerprint, and a few unbelievably close calls. In that time, I managed to get a lock on at least six local warehouses that he is using to house his firearm trade. Another four that, best I can tell, are his packaging and distribution centers for his drug empire. Two houses, owned by him or his second-in-command, Pauly, that are keeping up his methamphetamine trade. I¡¯ve also located close to the same in seven different towns scattered from New York to Miami. All of this has picture evidence, of both the locations and visuals of Dom at each location.¡± When he stops, I think he¡¯s done. My mind is spinning with everything I¡¯ve just learned¡ªhow deep he has managed to coil himself in this vengeance he¡¯s seeking. It isn¡¯t until his voice breaks the silence that I realize just how close I came to him making this decision alone¡ªand, I fear, without him ever telling anyone what he had planned. I could have lost him, and judging by just how powerful this man is, I doubt I ever would have known what happened to him. ¡°I¡¯ve gotten some recent intel from my inside source that there is a meet scheduled for this coming Saturday between Dom and another man from Chicago, Dino, to make the final transaction in one of the largest drug and firearm deals we¡¯ve seen. I¡¯m talking billions of dollars worth of just guns alone. They¡¯re meeting in Chicago, Dino¡¯s turf, and from what I can tell from my guy on the inside, this was Dom¡¯s way of expressing his loyalties to the cause. Whatever the case.¡± ¡°Jesus Christ,¡± Maddox spits through clenched teeth. Greg nods in agreement. ¡°You aren¡¯t lying, Mad.¡± ¡°Let me get this straight. You¡¯ve been sitting on this for all of this time for what exactly?¡± Axel asks. I hold my breath and wait for Asher to continue, knowing that this is the moment when these men will pick sides. They will pick sides and essentially decide my man¡¯s fate. ¡°So that I can avenge my brother¡¯s murder.¡± Chapter 29 ¨C Chelcie It takes only seconds after Asher hissed out those eight words. Those eight words that will either be his demise or his salvation. In that short time, the room explodes with voices of concern, outrage, anger, and understanding. I can¡¯t tell with all of their yelling which is winning. ¡°Excuse me,¡± I try to say over the testosterone fest that is raging within the conference room¡¯s four solid walls. They don¡¯t even spare me a glance. Each one of them is speaking over the other, trying to be the lone voice that gains the upper hand and gets to speak first. Hell. No. There is no way I¡¯m going to sit back and let them help make the call that would define my future. No way. That would not only be tempting fate with Asher¡¯s own life, but if I know anything about these men, it is that they would never let Ash go at this alone¡ªeffectively making this a call that will affect all of their futures and those of their families. ¡°Excuse me,¡± I try again, raising my voice slightly. When that still doesn¡¯t work, I push myself up, the chair wheeling back with a force so strong that it slams against the wall behind me. They still don¡¯t even stop to look at me. Looking around the room for something that will help me gain the upper hand, I see Maddox watching me with a small smirk on his face. He isn¡¯t even attempting to stick his voice into the uncontrolled war around us. I¡¯m not sure what compels me to act like a child, but seeing him just sitting there¡ªdoing nothing¡ªcauses my already rising temper to shoot through the roof. I place my hands on my hips, cock my head to the side, and stick my tongue out at him. Well, it seems as if basket case has decided to come and play today. I see his shoulders move with his silent laughter, and then he pushes up from the table and walks around the short distance to me, all the while going completely unnoticed by the other men in the room. They just keep yelling over each other. Page 44 Maddox dips his head low, his face just inches from mine, and I try my hardest not to cower under his intense gaze. He¡¯s standing so close that I can feel the heat of his nose against my own. He gives me one sharp nod, shifts to the right, and brings his mouth to my ear. ¡°You make sure and keep that damn light shining bright on him. You give a broken man like me hope that there might be something to be said about trusting that blaze that fights a man¡¯s demons.¡± Then he pulls back just as quickly.Advertisement I get one hell of a smile before he places his hands on my hips, turns my body to face the men in the room, and lifts me up. I flail for a second until I realize that he¡¯s helping me onto the conference table. He doesn¡¯t remove his hands, making sure that I¡¯m safe on my perch. ¡°EXCUSE ME!¡± I scream. The room falls silent and all four of the grown toddlers fighting over the last cookie turn to look at me with shock. Greg¡¯s and Beck¡¯s eyes go wide. Axel roars with laughter. But Asher¡¯s face turns hard as he looks at Maddox with nothing short of bared vehemence. ¡°I suggest you get your fucking hands off my woman,¡± he fumes. Maddox doesn¡¯t move. He keeps his hold on my hips, and I see Asher¡¯s eye twitch. ¡°I¡¯ll fucking kill you,¡± he vows. ¡°Oh be quiet, you overgrown ape!¡± I scream down at him. His blue eyes are alight with anger, but I can see the shock starting to hit him with my tone. ¡°That¡¯s right. All of you just shut up for a second. Sitting here and pissing all over each other isn¡¯t going to accomplish anything, but I have something to say and you¡¯re damn well going to listen to me.¡± Maddox¡¯s fingers flex against my hips in encouragement. ¡°I will agree with Asher that this asshole, this vile excuse for a human, needs to pay for what he did and every crime he¡¯s committed since Coop¡¯s death. I firmly believe that he needs one hell of a kick in the ass. He needs to suffer, and he needs to suffer for a long time. That being said, going off half-cocked to seek some vigilante type of justice? News flash¡ªyou boys are not invincible and there are a lot of people who love you, who don¡¯t want to see something terrible happen to you.¡± I look around the room while I gauge the best way to express myself. ¡°Tell me this. Would Coop, for one second, want you all to be putting your lives on the line just so that you can avenge him? Well, I¡¯ll tell you this much¡ªhe damn sure wouldn¡¯t. I might not have known him as long or as well as you all did, but I knew a man who lived each day as if it were his last. He laughed often. He loved fiercely. He was strong, brave, and courageous. He was a man who knew right down to the last second what he was giving up by stepping in front of that bullet.¡± Maddox¡¯s hands clench so tight that I have to bite my cheek to keep from crying out in pain. ¡°He assessed the situation and he decided that he would be the hero he was meant to be. He would be sick if he knew that any one of you were willing to follow him into the grave just to punish the man responsible.¡± I look down at Asher, his earlier anger washed away, and he¡¯s looking up at me with something close to shocked pride. ¡°His memory will never be anything short of miraculous. Asher, baby, he doesn¡¯t need this vengeance in the way that you have planned. You don¡¯t need to kill another man to make this wrong right. Make him pay, suffer, and spend the rest of his days locked in a cell with no hope of ever seeing the outside again. I¡¯m begging you, baby. I don¡¯t want our son to lose another father. We need you,¡± I stress. I pat Maddox¡¯s hands, letting him know that I¡¯m ready to get down. He easily lifts me off the table and gently places my feet on the floor. I turn, give him a brief hug, and turn back to Asher. I walk as close as I can, or as close as my belly will allow, placing both of my palms on his chest and looking up into his sad face. ¡°I would never be able to give you up without a fight, Asher. I told you a long time ago that I¡¯m with you every step of the way, but I need you to understand me and why I feel the way I do about this. This is about so much more than giving your brother peace. You need to look at the bigger picture. If you go through with this, you¡¯re not only risking your life, but each one of these men who stand with you. Whether they agree with you or not, you know they would follow you into the depths of hell. And if that happens, there are a lot more people than just me who stand to lose their persons.¡± His eyes flash, comprehension finally dawning within. ¡°I need you, they need you, Zac needs you. And as much as it pains me to say this, whatever you decide, I will do my best to be the strength you need to ensure that you have everything needed to make it happen. You and me, baby. It¡¯s you and me.¡± I can hear the others moving around us. Their chairs are rolling back to the table and they¡¯re sitting back. The energy that was going wild just moments before is now sober. I continue to hold Asher¡¯s gaze, pouring all my love into this look. He closes his eyes, drops his forehead to mine, and lets out a rushed breath. ¡°I hear you, Sunshine.¡± He turns back to the room, moving his chair back to the table and taking a seat. He pulls me into his lap and places his hand on my belly before addressing the men silently waiting. ¡°We call Robert with the ATF, get with Mitchell over with DEA, and I¡¯ll call Stan with the FBI. Let¡¯s make sure Dominic Murphy goes down¡­and pays for a long fucking time.¡± I let the tension leave my body, and the mammoth amount of fear, anxiety and pain washes out in one big rush. I collapse back on Asher, his arms tightening around me, and I say a silent prayer that everything is going to be okay. I look over at Maddox moments before my eyes close and the stress of the situation bleeds from my body. He meets my gaze, gives me a nod and a warm smile. His approval that I did the right thing. Yes, everything is going to be just fine. I close my eyes, my head resting against Asher¡¯s chest, his heartbeat thumping against my ear. The voices around me¡ªmaking plans and finalizing decisions¡ªlull me into a deep sleep. Chapter 30 ¨C Chelcie Things started rolling quickly after that. When they made the calls they needed to make¡ªand showed the heavy evidence that Asher had collected against Dominic¡ªit was a whirlwind of crazy. It seemed like hundreds of men ascended on our small town. Asher and all of the guys seem to live in the office. I overheard Izzy telling Dee that Maddox has even been sleeping a few nights there between his computer searching. Asher makes a point to come home each night; I think he needs it just as much as I do. But either way, I¡¯m happy that his arms are wrapped tight around me when I drift off. Page 45 Sway called an emergency meeting today, so I¡¯ve been waiting for Dee to swing by and pick me up before we head over to the salon. It¡¯s the Thursday before the big meet is supposed to happen, and the guys are spending a few more hours in the office going over last-minute business. I know Asher is struggling with his decision, but I also know that he¡¯s made the right one, and I¡¯ll do my best to help him come to terms with that. ¡°How are you today, Ms. Avery?¡± Joe asks when I step into the lobby. Dee just called saying that she was ten minutes away and to ¡°be ready so we don¡¯t miss the show.¡±Advertisement ¡°I¡¯m doing well, Joe. Thank you for asking. How are you doing? Anything exciting happening in the building?¡± ¡°Oh, just the same old same old. We got a few new renters¡ªone right on your floor and some on the lower floors. Had a dog steal Mrs. Marks¡¯s wig right off her head the other day. Never thought I would see the day that woman ran after something,¡± he laughs. ¡°I bet that was a sight to see. Did she run with her walker?¡± Mrs. Marks is a mean old lady who is pushing ninety-five. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever seen her move quicker than shuffle speed. The thought of her running after a dog has uncontrollable giggles escaping. By the time Dee walks into the lobby, Joe and I are in peals of laughter, the sound booming through the otherwise quiet lobby. ¡°Hey, Joe!¡± Dee sings. ¡°Well, hello there, Ms. Dee! What a pleasure it is to see you. I hope everything is going well with that man of yours.¡± ¡°Hey, how come you never call me Ms. Chelcie?¡± He looks confused for a second before a smirk curls his winkled lips. ¡°Ms. Avery, you¡¯ve never asked me to,¡± he jests. ¡°Oh, well¡­please do.¡± Both Dee and Joe laugh at my embarrassment. ¡°He¡¯s amazing, Joe. We¡¯re getting married soon. Can you believe it?¡± ¡°Yes, Ms. Dee, I can believe it.¡± He looks over at me and I know it¡¯s coming before he opens his mouth. ¡°And I hear there¡¯s a congratulations in order for you and Mr. Cooper as well?¡± I hear Dee gasp, and before I can answer Joe, she snatches my hand in hers. ¡°Holy shit,¡± she mumbles. ¡°Holy shit! You didn¡¯t tell me?¡± ¡°Thanks, Joe. I¡¯m extremely happy.¡± He gives me a nod and I make quick work of saying our goodbyes. Dee doesn¡¯t let go of my hand the entire time. We climb into her car¡ªafter she was kind enough to let go of my hand¡ªand she gives me a second to buckle my seatbelt before turning on me, the questions flying rapidly out of her mouth. ¡°How did he ask? Ohmigod! When did it happen? Were you shocked? I bet you cried. Have you set a date? We should go look at dresses this weekend. Well, maybe we should wait until after the baby comes before we do that,¡± she giggles. ¡°Holy shit, Chelcie. Everyone is going to freak out! I can¡¯t believe you didn¡¯t tell me.¡± ¡°Jesus, Dee, take a breather. We didn¡¯t tell anyone. There hasn¡¯t been a chance. We were planning on telling you guys after everything settled down some more.¡± ¡°I¡¯m so happy for you, for both of you. You deserve this happiness. All three of you do.¡± ¡°Thank you. I¡¯m unbelievably happy.¡± ¡°Sway is going to freak!¡± I lay my head back and prepare myself for the frenzy I¡¯m sure this day will turn into. ¡°Hey, Beck mentioned something to me when he got back the other day¡ªyou know when you guys had that meeting at CS?¡± I nod, questioning where she is going with this. ¡°He mentioned the name Zac. Is that what you decided to name the baby?¡± I turn and look at her, wondering when I let Zac¡¯s name slip. It makes sense that I would have. Emotionally, the stakes were so high in that conference room that I used every tool I had to get Asher to listen. If he wouldn¡¯t have for me, I know he would have for Zac. We hadn¡¯t wanted to tell anyone what we were having, so I¡¯m kind of upset that not only is his gender known, but also his name. ¡°Yeah, we decided to name him Zac,¡± I speak softly. It doesn¡¯t really matter if they know, and we can still share the meaning behind his nickname when he¡¯s born. I mentally remind myself to fill Asher in on everyone knowing. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Did I say something wrong?¡± she hesitantly asks while merging into traffic. ¡°No, nothing¡¯s wrong. I just didn¡¯t realize that I had said Zac¡¯s name. We had planned on waiting until he was born to announce it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Chelcie. If it makes you feel better, I think I¡¯m the only one who knows. Beck just asked me if I had heard anything about it.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing to be sorry about. I¡¯ve got a healthy baby boy, a great fianc¨¦, and¡­and I just sent my book off to my editor, Mickey. Trust me, Dee. It¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°Holy shit, Chelc! That¡¯s amazing. Congratulations.¡± ¡°Thank you. I¡¯m still terrified, but I figure I would regret it if I never tried.¡± ¡°I agree. I can¡¯t wait to read it.¡± I smile at her and we continue to make small talk before we pull into the parking lot where Sway¡¯s salon is located as well as Dee¡¯s small insurance company and the Corps Security offices. Dee loops her arm through mine and we take off across the parking lot. I have to struggle to keep up with her. Her ever-present heels are eating up the pace quicker than I can waddle after her. I¡¯ve turned into a damn teeter-totter the last few days. The only things that have grown on my body are my boobs and belly, but it still feels like I have an extra hundred pounds to carry around. ¡°Slow down, you crazy woman,¡± I hiss when I almost fall on my face. ¡°Hey, you just need to figure out how to get that watermelon to sway with you,¡± she giggles. ¡°Whoa, this belly doesn¡¯t sway. I haven¡¯t swayed in way too long. I just kind of march, heavy and with a weird side step to keep my hips from grinding.¡± She shudders. ¡°That sounds terrible.¡± I laugh. ¡°It really isn¡¯t that bad. I think the positives by far outweigh the pain I might be feeling for a few more weeks.¡± I try to keep it positive, but truth be told, I¡¯m miserable. I just want to be done being pregnant and hold my son in my arms. Unfortunately, I still have some time. My last doctor¡¯s appointment confirmed that Zac is measuring well past his gestational age. Dr. Sosa laughed and told me politely that the baby must take after his linebacker father. I don¡¯t ever correct her when she assumes that Asher is the father. To us, he will be, and the detail of Zac¡¯s conception isn¡¯t anyone else¡¯s business but our own. Page 46 ¡°I guess you¡¯re right,¡± she says reverently. ¡°Maybe one day, but for now, we¡¯re having too much fun practicing.¡± She winks at me and pushes the door to the salon open wide. ¡°Hey, everyone! Guess who¡¯s engaged!¡± she screams at the top of her voice. My face instantly heats, but I laugh right along with her when every one of our friends pounces. My hand is pulled in a million directions. Congratulations are squealed and screamed. By the time all the girls have stopped gawking at my beautiful ring, I look up and see Sway¡ªhands on his hips and his eyebrow raised.Advertisement ¡°You better get that fine ass over here, mama!¡± he sasses. I excuse myself from his receptionist¡¯s grasp and walk over to where he¡¯s standing. Like normal, he¡¯s dressed loudly. ¡°You look good, Sway. How much weight have you lost now?¡± I implore, hoping that he won¡¯t make a big deal about this. ¡°Don¡¯t you try and distract me now, honey. I know I look good. Between Davey helping me work out at the gym and at home, oh Lordy Lou, you would think I would have those sexy six-pack abs all of you girls¡¯ fine men have. But enough about me and how fabulous I am.¡± He moves one heavily braceleted arm to his hip, sticking his other hand in my direction and waving it as if I¡¯m supposed to magically know what he¡¯s demanding. ¡°Don¡¯t make me wait all day, you vixen. Give me that hand!¡± I laugh and bring my left hand up. He oh-so-delicately jerks me forward and pulls my hand closer. I can hear him humming and awwing as he gazes at it in rapture. I try to put myself in his shoes¡ªhis very tall-heeled shoes¡ªand look at my ring from his eyes. Asher went slightly overboard, but I can¡¯t help but smile every time I look at it. The large, round diamond is set high on a triple band of diamonds. It¡¯s relatively simple¡ªif you can overlook the obnoxious size of diamond sitting on those stunning, thin bands. He explained to me that he knew right away when he saw the ring that it was the one. He wanted something special, something I could look at and remember how much he loves me, but also something that would represent our son and what brought us together¡ªCoop. So he clarified that each band stood for the men in my life. One for him, Zac, and Coop. By the time he finished telling me that story, I was crying hysterically. He just laughed and pulled me closer. ¡°Your arm is going to kill you carrying that big diamond around, but holy Mr. Bojangles, it is stunning!¡± Sway drops my hand and spins in a circle on his heels. His blouse bellows around him as he twirls, and when it lifts in the back, I notice¡ªwith jealousy¡ªhow tight his ass looks. ¡°Did you just say Mr. Bojangles?¡± Izzy laughs from behind me. ¡°Don¡¯t you make fun of me, you sassy woman you.¡± ¡°You just make it so easy,¡± Dee giggles. ¡°Hmph. I do not,¡± he smiles. We spend the next five hours gossiping, getting pampered within an inch of our lives, and watching all of the men come and go from the Corps Security offices¡ªnot a single one is one of our boys. And by the time Dee drops me off at home, my stomach hurts from how often I laughed. Chapter 31 ¨C Asher It¡¯s killing me knowing that Chelcie is just next door and I¡¯m not able to go see her. With all of the red tape we¡¯ve been trying to fight through and meeting after meeting to brief each tactical team on everything I know, I feel like my mind is about to explode. We have finally finished all of our meetings today. Dominic Murphy will be going down and there isn¡¯t a damn thing that can stop it now. He has so much shit piled on the scales against him¡ªall of the evidence I¡¯m responsible for bringing to light. I expected to feel upset over losing my chance at vengeance, but I know that Chelcie is right. Coop would hate this, and what¡¯s important is that I¡¯m around for my family. If something would have gone wrong and I was taken from Chelcie¡ªjust the thought kills me. After the last handshake from the suit from the FBI, I wait until he leaves my office¡ªmy official office¡ªand breathe a sigh of relief. It¡¯s over. In two short days, Dominic will go down. Even though Coop¡¯s murder is my motivation in this, it feels good to know that someone as disgusting as him will be taken off the streets. The sense of pride that fills me when I think about how¡ªor rather by whom¡ªall of this was set in motion is all consuming. I¡¯m not even upset that I won¡¯t be a part of the takedown. I don¡¯t need to be there. I don¡¯t need anything but the verification that he¡¯s behind bars when it¡¯s over. I¡¯ve done my part, and in turning all my intel over, I¡¯ve also guaranteed Chelcie¡¯s and Zac¡¯s safety. There hasn¡¯t been anything else threatening since that one letter. I instantly pulled back and stopped being so reckless in my hunt of Dom. I used the Internet to silently weave in and out of his life. Thank God, because his being clueless means that Chelcie is no long in danger. It¡¯s time to live our lives for the future we¡¯re building, and I can¡¯t wait. ¡°You getting ready to head out?¡± I look up and take in Maddox¡¯s casual stance. ¡°I was thinking about it. Did you see the girls leave yet?¡± ¡°Yeah. Headed out about five minutes ago.¡± ¡°All right, so tell me why you¡¯re standing there keeping me from getting home to my woman.¡± One thing about Maddox is that, when he speaks, you listen, so I know he wouldn¡¯t be here if he didn¡¯t think this was worth it. He¡¯s a man of few words, and I can respect that. And I owe him for waking my ass up when I¡¯d needed it. I¡¯m not sure if I would be where I am right now had it not been for him. He walks into the room and shuts the door behind him. He takes a few slow steps before sitting in the chair across from me. Once he¡¯s settled in, his arms rest against each armrest, his fingers laced in front of him. He doesn¡¯t say anything for the longest time, just observes me in an eerie silence. ¡°I¡¯m proud of you, brother,¡± he finally says. ¡°Thanks, Maddox. I owe it to you, you know. I¡¯m not sure anyone could have knocked some sense into me quite like you did. You made me see the hell I was letting myself become consumed with.¡± I look away, getting ahold of my emotions. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have any of this if you hadn¡¯t reminded me that there were still things worth living for. I wouldn¡¯t have one hell of a woman who is about to become my wife. A son on the way. And most importantly¡ªwith this shit we just finished up here this week¡ªI wouldn¡¯t have peace with Coop¡¯s death.¡± Page 47 ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything but remind you what¡¯s important. Far as I can see, you did all the hard work. Just remember, there are going to be days when that darkness starts creeping up on you. You can feel it starting to whisper against your skin, see it out of the corner of your eyes, and sometimes it¡¯s right on your heels. It¡¯s not easy, Ash. Sometimes it¡¯s a daily war against no one but yourself. If you need me, I¡¯m here.¡± I clear my throat and nod. He¡¯s so spot-on with how it feels when I have a bad day. When the grief and sadness of missing my brother become too much to bear.Advertisement ¡°Congratulations, by the way. I noticed that rock on her hand the other day. You deserve this, Asher, and she¡¯s one hell of a warrior to have in your corner.¡± ¡°That she is,¡± I reply with pride dripping from my words. I wait a few moments and study Maddox. He looks exhausted. I can tell that the last few months have been hard for him. I know enough that he¡¯s been fighting Emmy to come home, but as far as details¡ªhe¡¯s been dead silent on those. ¡°How are things with Emmy?¡± I hedge. His eyes flash, pain and exasperation in the forefront. ¡°She¡¯s back, so there¡¯s something.¡± He doesn¡¯t say anything else, and judging by his tone, if I pressed it, he wouldn¡¯t take that well. Whatever the hell is going on between them seems to just be getting worse. ¡°You were there when I needed you, Mad. Don¡¯t go at this like you¡¯re alone, okay?¡± ¡°It¡¯s sometimes for the best that way. I¡¯m happy for you and Chelcie¡ªreally, I am¡ªbut Emmy deserves better than anything I could ever give her.¡± I open my mouth to lay into him like he did to just months before but stop and hold up my hand for him to wait when my cell starts ringing. ¡°Hey, Sunshine?¡± The grin I¡¯m sporting has Maddox pushing himself up to stand. I notice distractedly that he seems to be moving slower than normal today. ¡°Chelcie? Are you there?¡± I wait, wondering why the hell she¡¯s calling me if all I¡¯m going to hear are some weird scuffling noises. It sounds like she dialed me from her purse or something. ¡°Chelcie?¡± I try one more time. Maddox turns from where he¡¯s about to walk out of the room. His eyes are narrowed in a way that has every hair on my body tingling with dread. ¡°Chelcie, please,¡± I mutter. ¡°Please, Sunshine.¡± My stomach feels like it¡¯s full of lead. I don¡¯t move the phone from my ear as I start moving papers from my desk, looking for my keys. I look up when Maddox lets out a quick whistle. He holds his own keys up and nods his head towards the door. He doesn¡¯t have to fucking tell me twice. With the phone to my ear, I make my way behind Maddox. I¡¯m praying over and over that my gut is wrong and that she just accidently forgot to lock her phone, but I stop dead just steps away from the front door to Corps Security. When I hear her ear-piercing scream break through the static in the line, my blood runs cold and I sprint into action. I reach Maddox¡¯s Charger ahead of him, waiting impatiently as he hurries to the driver¡¯s seat. He doesn¡¯t ask questions¡ªhe just throws the car in gear and speeds out of the parking lot. I keep the phone pressed tight to my ear, praying to hear something else that will give me a clue as to what we¡¯re about to walk into. Fuck me. An image of Dominic Murphy flashes through my mind and a sob bubbles out when I think that, by not killing that bastard when I could have, I could lose everything. We¡¯ve only been on the road for a minute at the most when I hear another voice, this one making a cold sweat break out across my skin. I can¡¯t make out her words, but I would know that fucking nasally whine anywhere. Sarah. Fucking. Jane. Chapter 32 ¨C Sarah Jane It¡¯s just a matter of time now. Only time. Time is all I have, and I don¡¯t mind waiting just a little longer. I¡¯ve let him have his fun. Eight long years of fun. I¡¯ve been watching. I¡¯m always watching. He¡¯s never had anyone like this woman. This pregnant woman. I know my Asher would never give another woman MY baby. I¡¯ve been planning it for years. Our baby will be so beautiful. Long, silky, blonde hair just like her daddy. The prettiest eyes that you¡¯ve ever seen. So blue that they looked like the clearest summer day¡¯s sky. And her lips would be full, just like her daddy, Asher. Yes. It has to be a mistake, because MY Asher would never let MY baby grow in that whore¡¯s body! I watched her walk out just this morning, her laughter making me want to slice her throat right there in front of her tall friend and the old, fat doorman. She¡¯s a whore. A whore that has had her filthy hands on MY Asher. My head feels tight again. The voices are back. They keep telling me what needs to happen next. I need to make her pay. She needs to understand that she will never take MY man and MY baby. After grabbing my purse, I press the button for the lower garage, where all the tenants park their vehicles. I know which one belongs to that whore. I¡¯ve run my fingers all over it just imagining what it would feel like if it were her skin. So fragile when using the right tools. I pull the hammer out of my large bag, walking around the car a few times before deciding where to start. I slam my weapon against the headlights. Then the taillights. I use all my strength to smash it against every inch of the car¡¯s metal. When I step back to admire my art, my chest moves fast as sweat coats my skin. I can¡¯t wait until I can do the same thing to that whore¡¯s body. Before I leave, I grab the can out of my bag, walk over to her car, and lean over carefully. I wouldn¡¯t want to cut my body. Asher loves my body the way it looks, and I¡¯ve worked hard to keep it slim, tight, and tan. Shaking the can a few times, I bring it closer to my destroyed carnage of that whore¡¯s car, taking my time to make sure every letter is perfect. I toss the can on the ground when I¡¯m done. I don¡¯t need it anymore. The only thing I need now is that whore and my hammer. I press the button I need before reaching into my bag and grabbing my ¡®candies,¡¯ opening the bottle, and taking two for good measure. I need to remember to get more. I hate the way I feel when I¡¯m not feeling my ¡®candies.¡¯ I make quick work of my next duty. I need to make sure that Asher has a clear path to finally come and take me in his arms. He¡¯s going to be so happy to see me¡ªI just know it. He¡¯s been waiting so patiently for me to come and take him back. Page 48 It doesn¡¯t take much for me to sneak up on the old coot that sits in his office all day, only coming out occasionally to say hi to the other idiots that walk in and out of his lobby. He¡¯s watching an old Friends rerun when I peek in the cracked doorway. I can see his master keys hanging from his belt. This would be so much easier if he were sleeping, but oh well¡ªthe show must go on.Advertisement I use the handle of my hammer and crack it against his temple. He goes down like the dead weight he is, and I don¡¯t waste a second grabbing the keys. I know exactly where I need to go now. I¡¯ve been watching. I¡¯m always watching. Always watching. Until now. Chapter 33 ¨C Chelcie Thirty Minutes Earlier ¡°I had fun today,¡± I tell Dee while she pulls out of the parking lot, headed back to the apartment. ¡°But I¡¯m exhausted.¡± ¡°You¡¯re always exhausted. Hey, how do you have sex with that big old belly in the way?¡± ¡°Are you serious?¡± I chuckle. ¡°Well, yeah. Does it get in the way? Or does Asher like, I don¡¯t know, bang into it? Oh my GOD! Does his dick hit the baby?¡± I look over at her, my mouth agape, trying to figure out if she¡¯s joking with me right now. She looks over, rolls her eyes, and stresses, ¡°I¡¯m not pulling your leg, Chelcie! I¡¯m serious right now. I need to know these things. If Beck and I decide to have kids, I don¡¯t think I could give up sex. There¡¯s no damn way. But I don¡¯t want my kid to come out with a cheese head because his daddy¡¯s ding dong kept playing Whac-A-Mole.¡± I burst out laughing, complete with snorting and almost choking on my spit. ¡°Holy shit, Dee. How can you be so clueless about something that is so natural for a woman¡¯s body? No, there is no chance that the baby will have a¡­how did you put it? Oh, a cheese head.¡± I snort again. ¡°Sex isn¡¯t off-limits, but now that I¡¯ve gotten bigger, we have to get more creative. I prefer doggie style. Just makes it easier with all of the pressure my body has. No need to worry, Dee. You won¡¯t have to give up sex when you get pregnant.¡± She is shaking her head rapidly, looking pleased with this news. Wait a minute¡­ ¡°Dee?¡± I question. ¡°Hmm,¡± she responds, lost in thought. ¡°Are you pregnant?¡± I hope she is. I know that she had the worst parents in the world, but she and Beck would make amazing parents. ¡°What? Oh, no. Well, I don¡¯t think so at least.¡± Well, damn. ¡°Do you want to be?¡± I sigh. ¡°I¡¯ve just been thinking about it a lot lately. Between you, Izzy being pregnant again, Melissa with the twins all tiny and cute, it¡¯s just been on my mind more than normal. I worried when they got older and weren¡¯t all adorable babies anymore that they would be gross, but Cohen and Nate are two cool kids, so I think I¡¯m open to it now.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good, Dee. If you want to talk about it, just let me know. Maybe sit down with Beck and see where he stands with it? Maybe he wants to wait a little while. I mean, don¡¯t you want to get married first?¡± Some people might be bothered by the fact that I¡¯m not married and pregnant, but then again, they would probably drop dead if they knew I was knocked up with my fianc¨¦¡¯s brother¡¯s baby. To each their own¡ªnormal is boring anyways. ¡°Of course I do. We¡¯re setting a date soon. Now that things have settled down, I think it¡¯s time for me to make an honest man out of him.¡± We laugh together and enjoy the rest of the car ride, talking about how long we think the latest Kardashian marriage will last and the newest purses we saw on our favorite site. When she pulls up to the front of my building, we make plans for dinner next week. I wave her off and walk into the building. Going to wave to Joe, I frown when I notice that he isn¡¯t standing in his normal spot. Damn, this place looks weird without him standing there smiling at me. Oh well. He must have gotten called away. I was halfway across the lobby when I remembered that I left my laptop in my car yesterday when I went to work at Starbucks. I laugh to myself when I recall Asher picking on me because I went into a coffee shop to work when I can¡¯t even drink it. Hey, what can I say? I love the smell and it¡¯s one of the best places to people-watch. I bypass the button to my floor and press the one that will take me under the building to where our parking garage is located. Digging in my bag as I walk towards my car does nothing to help me find my keys. I grab my phone and stick it in my back pocket before starting my search up again. Feeling the cold metal, I close my hands around them and go to pull them out. When I lift my head, I freeze at what I see. My car is demolished. A total mess of what once was perfect. There isn¡¯t an inch of my car that isn¡¯t covered in scratches, dings, and dents¡ªand red¡­paint? My mind is telling me that there¡¯s no way I¡¯m seeing this right. Maybe I¡¯m on some sick version of Punk¡¯d. Dead center of what used to be my hood is five perfectly sprayed letters. WHORE My heart is pounding in my chest, and I try to push down the feeling of helplessness as I turn and run as best as I can back to the elevator car. I jam my finger over and over on the ¡®door close¡¯ button. I pray that whoever did that to my car isn¡¯t about to slam their hand between the doors, cutting off my escape. When the doors finally close, I rub my hands over Zac¡¯s baby bump and will myself to calm down. I can¡¯t be getting this upset. I¡¯m sure whoever did this is long gone. I bet they even got the wrong car. It was probably meant to be Wendy Westlake¡¯s car and they got mine instead. Our cars are almost identical. She has the door across from our apartment and I swear it¡¯s open later than Taco Bell. Everyone knows they stay open late. My body is still shaking and I can¡¯t seem to calm down. When the car dings on my floor, I make my way to our door with wooden legs. I just need to get inside and call Asher. He¡¯ll know what to do. My hands are shaking so badly that I drop my keys twice. Bending over is a blast when you¡¯ve got a large beach ball in your front. I feel my jeans get tight across my ass, and I groan when I hear my phone start making noises like the touchscreen has been activated. I swear I butt-dial more people that way. I throw the door open and rush in, pressing myself against the door and letting out the breath I was holding. Now that I¡¯m safe in my apartment, I allow my body to really start feeling the fear of seeing my car smashed and beaten. Vandalized with so much brutal force. Page 49 I go to grab my cell from my pocket but stop dead when I see her. A scream escapes my lips and I feel my heart drop. Ice-cold terror is picking up speed inside my body, making me feel faint and powerless.Advertisement She¡¯s standing in the middle of my living room with a hammer swinging in one hand, the other holding one of Zac¡¯s stuffed animals. I shift my weight, wondering if I could reach the doorknob and get out before she could reach me. My plans are ruined when she sees my intent and growls, ¡°Don¡¯t fucking move, whore.¡± I don¡¯t know who this woman is, but if she thinks she¡¯s going to do something to harm my life, my baby, then she¡¯s got another thing coming. I straighten my shoulders and vow silently to Zac that Mommy will protect him. She takes a menacing step towards me, and I pray for a miracle. Chapter 34 ¨C Chelcie ¡°What do you want?¡± I¡¯m proud of myself for keeping my voice steady, for not letting her see the fear that is taking over my system. ¡°You really are a stupid whore, aren¡¯t you?¡± Her nasally voice sounds so flat, almost dead, and when it fills my ears, it just adds to the terror. ¡°If it¡¯s money you want¡ªhere. Take my purse,¡± I plead. ¡°We don¡¯t have any jewelry or valuables here.¡± Her eyes flash to my left hand and I could curse my beautiful diamond. ¡°Oh, I beg to differ, whore. You have everything of value to me. Let me tell you a story, hmm?¡± She walks closer to me and I stand my ground, refusing to give her the benefit of my cowering. ¡°Get your fat ass in there and sit the fuck down,¡± she hisses, grabbing my hair and bringing the wooden end of the hammer up to slam against my cheekbone. The longer end clips the top of my eye and it causes stars to immediately dance in front of me. Okay, that hurt. Tears are burning my eyes, and I can feel something warm running down my cheek. When I don¡¯t move quickly enough, she curls her fist tighter and forces me to the ground in the middle of the living room. I twist and steady myself so I don¡¯t fall on my stomach. I can feel Zac kicking and rolling, and I close my eyes in relief that he¡¯s okay. She grabs some duct tape out of her bag and walks behind me to bind my wrists painfully together. She throws the tape off to the side and I hear it crash into something, sending it shattering against the hardwood. I don¡¯t dare take my eyes off of her though. I need to keep my wits about me if I¡¯m going to get us out of this alive. ¡°Time for your goodnight story, little whore. There once was a beautiful woman. She had the most expensive clothes, all the money she could ever want, and a body every woman around would die for¡­ And she had the most handsome prince in all the land. That prince was perfect, you see, and he wanted to give the princess everything she ever wanted. What she wanted was to rule her kingdom. Now I¡¯ll skip all of the boring parts, but her prince has been lost. You see, he wasn¡¯t lost to the princess. She always knew where to find her prince. He needed some time to remember how much he craves his princess. So she has waited patiently.¡± She takes a break from her twisted tale. She just stares at me with this dazed and confused look on her face. I swear she can¡¯t even focus. Her eyes keep getting larger and then squinting. ¡°I¡¯ve been watching. I¡¯m always watching,¡± she mumbles. I watch in shocked horror as she spins the hammer even faster. Her confusion to the reality around her is making her one deadly, hammer-wielding lunatic. ¡°Who are you?¡± I implore. My head snaps back when she cracks me again with the wooden handle. I lock my body and only sway slightly. Goddamn, that one hurt worse. ¡°Who am I?¡± she screeches, the sound making my eardrums protest. ¡°Who am I? I am Sarah Jane Clarkston, and I¡¯m here to finally take my prince back. And to remove MY baby from your whore body before you taint her!¡± I watch in horror as she starts jamming the blunt end of the hammer into one of her eyes, mumbling over and over, ¡°I¡¯ve been watching. I¡¯m always watching.¡± She digs at her hair, pulling out chunks at a time and throwing them on the floor. My mouth drops when she takes her blunt nails and claws them down her face before she pushes her arm out wide¡ªthen slams her fist into her face. What in the fucking hell? While she¡¯s busy coming completely fucking unhinged, I try my hardest to get the tape off. I realize quickly enough that there¡¯s no use. She has it so tight that I¡¯m already starting to lose feeling in my fingers. She stops her abuse to her face and starts crawling around on the floor. She¡¯s still mumbling under her breath. ¡°I¡¯ve been watching. I¡¯m always watching.¡± I take advantage of her distraction and start looking around for something to use, something that can free my hands. I spot one of my decorative vases that must have been what took the hit when crazy pants over there tossed the tape. I look around, seeing if any of the broken pieces made it my way. There! About two feet from my leg is a piece that will be perfect. Now I just need to get to it. Checking to see how my new friend is, I notice that she¡¯s now curled up next to my couch, rocking and slamming her fist against her head. Her other hand still holds the hammer tight, banging it over and over against the floor. I move slowly, using my legs to inch closer and closer, only moving small inches at a time. I get where I can reach it as I sit on my ass, so I carefully and quietly as possible bring one of my legs out from under me, shifting on my ass to get my other leg out. My whole body is burning from the use of muscles I haven¡¯t used in months. When I get settled on my ass, I look over to make sure, once again, that she isn¡¯t paying me any attention. My fingers reach out blindly, pushing the piece of glass a few times as I fumble around. I finally get my fingers around the sharp shard and begin the process of moving back onto my knees. I don¡¯t want her to know that I¡¯ve moved, but more importantly, I don¡¯t want her to have any more of a height advantage if she comes to stand over me again. At least up on my knees, I have something going for me. Once back on my knees, I make the painful shift back over to my original position. The whole time, I busy myself with moving the glass back and forth against my bindings. I want to scream in pain each time the sharp ends jam into my skin. Either my wrists or my fingers¡ªhell, maybe both¡ªare cut so badly that I¡¯m struggling to hold on to the glass in my hands. I can feel the tape give slightly at the same time that her head snaps up and she looks me in the eyes. ¡°It¡¯s all your fault, you fucking whore! You tempted him. Made him touch your body. IT¡¯S ALL YOUR FAULT!¡± Page 50 I keep sawing at the tape that binds my wrists and pray that I can get it loose before it¡¯s too late. Her eyes are starting to look wild, and I know there isn¡¯t much time. She heaves her large bag up and starts digging around. She brings up a few baggies of little white pills until she seems satisfied with the one she has. I can¡¯t see how many pills the bag holds, looks like maybe three or four. She dumps them all in her hand and throws them into her mouth. After bringing a bottle of water out of her bag, she dumps it over her mouth, most of it falling around her mouth and running down her neck. By the time she appears to have had enough, she is soaking wet. ¡°I¡¯ve been watching! I¡¯m always watching!¡± she screams and starts to charge towards me.Advertisement The hammer in her hand comes up over her head. I watch with stark terror as the hammer gets higher and higher with each step she takes towards me. ¡°Drop it,¡± I hear from just over my shoulder. The voice strong. Commanding. And in total control. ¡°Drop the fucking hammer now or, so help me God, I will shoot you,¡± the voice promises. I make another sharp dig against the tape, opening my mouth wide in a silent scream. The last thing I want to do right now is remind this chick that I¡¯m still in the room. I rip off the remaining tape, fumbling a few times because my hands are soaked with my blood. ¡°Drop it,¡± the voice reminds. I keep my eyes focused on Sarah Jane and her hammer. I back up against the far wall and hold my arms over my stomach, praying that I¡¯ll feel Zac start to move soon. Sarah Jane goes to take another step and the sudden boom of a gunshot ringing out in the confined space has me screaming out. I curl into myself as much as my belly will allow. ¡°Don¡¯t fucking move! This time I won¡¯t be as nice and I¡¯ll aim for something more important than your shoulder.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been watching. I¡¯m always watching! You don¡¯t know what this whore took from me!¡± ¡°And I don¡¯t fucking care.¡± I shiver at the coldness that¡¯s come over the voice to my side. ¡°One more time¡ªdrop the hammer.¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to bash you to pieces when I finish with the whore,¡± Sarah Jane promises. I hear her snarl and what sounds like her feet shuffling forward. I close my eyes tight and brace for whatever happens next, making sure that my arms are still covering as much of my stomach as possible. I scream when I hear another shot and start to cry uncontrollably. I scream and cry¡ªbeg and plead. It isn¡¯t until minutes later, when I feel a small, warm hand lightly touch my shoulder, that I dare to look up. When I see Emmy¡¯s honey-colored eyes looking back into mine, I cry louder. She pulls me into her arms and lets me use her to be my strength since mine is gone. I don¡¯t once let go of the hold I have on Zac¡­the whole time, praying that he will just move. Chapter 35 ¨C Asher Maddox jumps the curb when we pull up to the apartment, his fender kissing the brick wall. I don¡¯t even take a second to make sure he¡¯s coming up with me. It¡¯s been too long. Chelcie¡¯s phone cut off two minutes ago, and I haven¡¯t been able to stop thinking about everything that could be happening to her. The sound of her scream is still echoing in my head, and the ball of dread starts to snowball out of control. When the elevator opens on our floor, my heart feels like it¡¯s stopped beating, because the second my feet hit the carpet outside the elevator, I hear the unmistakable sound of a gun being fired. ¡°Fucking hell,¡± Maddox hisses. He¡¯s been keeping pace with me this whole time, the adrenaline clearly helping his movements. I run down the hall as quickly as I can, cursing that our door is the very last one on the hall¡ªthe one that will take me the longest to reach. Skidding to a stop at the open doorway, I see Sarah Jane. She¡¯s bound by her wrists and ankles with duct tape and, by the looks of it, either passed out or in shock. I can also see that she is the one bleeding from what appears to be two gunshot wounds¡ªone to her left shoulder and the other to her right kneecap. I pull my own gun from my shoulder harness, looking over and seeing Maddox doing the same. He nods his head towards the open doorway and we make our way into the room, looking for any source of danger that might still be present. I stop dead in my tracks when we make it around the wall that was blocking the rest of the room from my view. Chelcie is clinging to a blonde woman, sobbing so hard that her whole body is shaking with the force of her crying. I look around the room, making sure there isn¡¯t another threat before kneeling down next to them. The second my movements are registered with the blonde woman holding an inconsolable Chelcie, her head whips up, and all of a sudden, I have a gun pointed against my forehead. Her eyes flash with recognition when she realizes who it is and she immediately drops the gun. ¡°What the fuck, Emmy?¡± Maddox booms through the room. Chelcie is shifted to my arms and Emmy peels her body off the floor. For the first time, I notice that she has blood all over her. ¡°Are you hurt?¡± I ask, my voice sounding miles away. ¡°It isn¡¯t mine. She wouldn¡¯t let me move her to check her wrists, but that¡¯s where it¡¯s coming from. She was cutting the tape off her wrists when I came in.¡± ¡°Chelcie, Sunshine¡­look at me. I¡¯m here. I¡¯m here and it¡¯s over. Let me look at you.¡± Her crying intensifies, and I look up at Emmy, helpless as to how to help her. She all but throws her piece at Maddox¡ªwho is still looking at her with so much anger that I¡¯m shocked she isn¡¯t catching on fire. Then she kneels back on the floor next to Chelcie and slowly forces her hands off of her belly. ¡°Let me look at you, okay? Maddox is making the call right now and we¡¯ll get you right over to the hospital to check on the baby. Is that what you¡¯re worried about?¡± her soothing voice whispers softly to Chelcie. I feel her nod her head yes against my chest and my heart drops. What if something is wrong with Zac? I didn¡¯t even think that he could be harmed. Her belly doesn¡¯t look injured. ¡°Chelcie, is it Zac? Sunshine¡­is it our boy?¡± She nods her head, and I feel like I¡¯m dying inside. ¡°Someone call fucking nine one one! Goddammit,¡± I roar. ¡°Maddox is calling them right now, Asher. Let me get closer so I can check her arms. I need to make sure the bleeding has stopped. Our boy. Our perfect little baby boy. God wouldn¡¯t be so cruel. He wouldn¡¯t take Zac from us. He wouldn¡¯t allow another profound loss to rock our lives. Page 51 ¡°He moved,¡± she garbles against my chest. ¡°What was that, Sunshine? What moved?¡±Advertisement She takes a deep breath, her whole body rocking with the movement. ¡°Zac¡­ He finally moved.¡± A sob escapes her mouth, and the sound of it is so intense that I have to close my eyes at the depth of her emotions. ¡°He finally moved when you talked. He wouldn¡¯t move. Not until he heard you.¡± She starts shaking again, her crying getting even stronger. I scan the room with wild eyes, looking for something¡ªanything¡ªthat can help me take her pain away. When I come up blank, I turn my attention back to her. Rocking her slowly in my arms and pressing my forehead against hers. Emmy continues to check her wrists, holding a few towels that Maddox handed her against the deep wounds. When the room fills with cops and paramedics, I finally let some of the tension leave my body. Until I know that Chelcie and Zac are okay, I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to release it all. Knowing that this could have ended differently is the only thing that is keeping me going right now. They¡¯re safe. And I¡¯ll never let her out of my sight now. Five hours later, we¡¯re sitting in her hospital room. She won¡¯t let me leave her side¡ªnot that I have any plans to¡ªso I lie with a good half of my body hanging off the edge of her narrow hospital bed. Our hands are laced together over her stomach, and the sounds of our son¡¯s heartbeats are echoing around the room. A constant reminder for us that he is okay. Safe within his mother¡¯s womb. She ended up needing numerous stitches along her arms and wrists from the damage the glass had done. They closed the cut on her eyebrow with glue since it wasn¡¯t as deep. They want to keep her overnight for observation, which I readily agreed to. Just being here is making things a little easier for us. Hearing the sounds of our son, alive and thriving, reaffirms that Chelcie kept him safe from danger. When I listened to her soft whispers telling the detectives what had happened, I had a hard time keeping it together. I want to find Sarah Jane and physically hurt her. Watch her suffer like she made Chelcie. But when Chelcie grabs my hand, I quickly push the thoughts back. She wouldn¡¯t want me to be thinking that way. Sarah Jane needs help. Judging by her hysterical screaming when they finally were able to get her out of her comatose state, I would guess she¡¯s going to go straight to a mental hospital. ¡°I¡¯m so proud of you, Sunshine.¡± She lifts her head, kissing my forehead before I can move back to look into her eyes. ¡°I was scared, baby, but I would have fought even longer. I will never let anything or anyone come between us.¡± I lean in and press my lips softly to hers. She hums lightly in the back of her throat like she always does when I kiss her like this. I pull back and look at her in question. ¡°How are you dealing with all of this? Do you want to talk about it?¡± ¡°Not really. I saw her, Ash. She wasn¡¯t right in the head, so if you¡¯re going to start blaming yourself, thinking because she was some chick in your past that you¡¯re responsible, then you can stop now.¡± I look at her, slightly embarrassed that she has such a good read on me. ¡°I¡¯m not sure that there will ever be enough help to make whatever is broken in her mind. She was talking nonsense. It¡¯s over and I would really prefer to put it behind us. One thing I know for sure is I do not want to go back to that apartment. I can¡¯t, Asher. Even though I know there isn¡¯t danger anymore, I don¡¯t think I will ever feel safe there again.¡± ¡°I understand. We¡¯ll get you out of here and stay at Coop¡¯s old house until we decide what we want to do. We don¡¯t need to make a decision now or even a month from now. All that matters is that you and Zac are going to be fine. I love you,¡± I softy remind her, shifting slightly so I can bring her closer. It¡¯s hard to get her as close as I want to with the wires and probes and crap all over her stomach. ¡°I love you too,¡± she murmurs, placing her head against my chest. We fall into a restless sleep after that. I wake up a few times when the nurses come in to check on her, but not once do I remove her body from my arms. Chapter 36 ¨C Chelcie Two Weeks Later ¡°Asher!¡± I call from where I¡¯m rocking. He surprised me with the mother of all nurseries and I never want to leave it. When we decided to move into Coop¡¯s old house, it wasn¡¯t something we decided lightly. I was worried that it would be too hard for Asher to be in his old house. We had made amazing progress in cleaning it out, moving things that were trash and donating the others that didn¡¯t mean anything to Ash. All that was left were the items Ash wanted to keep. We decided that the first order of business was repainting the entire house. We spent hours painstakingly picking out each color for each room. Then we spent an even more obnoxious amount of time picking out the new furniture for the house. We got rid of everything that had been in my old apartment. Since the majority of it was old stuff Dee had left behind, I didn¡¯t have many emotional attachments. We did keep all of Zac¡¯s nursery items¡ªexcept this chair. It¡¯s a new addition. Designed to resemble the look of a baseball, it¡¯s white in color with red stitching that stands out beautifully. The creamy leather and softness of the plush cushions are enough to make me never want to leave this spot. It. Is. Heaven. ¡°Yeah?¡± He shakes his head when he comes into the room and sees that I haven¡¯t left the seat¡ªagain¡ªfor the second day in a row. ¡°Sunshine, should I get you one of these in every room?¡± Whatever he sees in my face has him throwing his head back and his rich laughter booming in the room. ¡°It¡¯s not going to happen, so get that thought out of your head.¡± ¡°What time is everyone coming over tonight?¡± We decided late last week that we wanted to have everyone over for dinner. It means a lot to us that we share this with our family. I¡¯ve been so proud of Asher. After the successful takedown of Dominic, eight other major players in the nasty underworld of drugs, guns, and sex trafficking were apprehended that day. I know there are still times when Asher questions himself if he made the right call, but then I will see him look over at me, his eyes tracing a path from my face all the way to my very large belly. His eyes get all sexy and soft and he just nods his head¡ªcoming to the conclusion without any help from me that he is, without a doubt, on the right path. His decision to give up his determination of being the one to take Dom out made it so that some major players in crime are now locked tight behind bars. Page 52 We expect that Dominic¡¯s trial will take years. That¡¯s not really an issue for us because there is no way he will ever live his life as a free man again even if he were to have a trial tomorrow. There is just too much stacked against him¡ªall because of Asher. ¡°I think they¡¯ll be here in about an hour. I wasn¡¯t sure about Maddox and Emmy. Not sure what¡¯s going on with them right now, so I guess we will see.¡±Advertisement ¡°All right, baby.¡± I lean my head and close my eyes, determined to sleep until the last second possible. I hear Asher laughing as he walks back down the hall to get the food ready for tonight. I smile and thank God for bringing that man into my life. Axel, Izzy, and baby Nate are the first ones to arrive. Izzy gives me a warm hug and we both laugh when our bellies smoosh together. ¡°Are you still grunting and groaning about having a daughter?¡± I laugh, leaning over Nate to give Axel a hug. ¡°I wasn¡¯t. Woman, did you tell them I was complaining about my princess?¡± Izzy bursts out laughing, her tiny belly bouncing with her mirth. ¡°Oh my God! You¡¯re already terrible! She isn¡¯t even here yet and you¡¯re going all possessive over her! I tell you, Axel Reid, she is not going to like that when she gets older.¡± He pulls himself up, towering over us all at six foot six, pulling Izzy to his side. He cups her under her arms and lifts her right off the ground as if she weighs nothing more than a feather. ¡°You listen to me, babe. My princess will never date. Ever. I¡¯m considering going ahead a looking at homeschool. We need to get all those dicks away from my baby.¡± ¡°Your baby?¡± she mocks. ¡°You heard me. Just like her mom¡ªshe¡¯s mine, and I¡¯m not letting some little prick get near my princess.¡± He gives her a deep kiss before putting her back down. ¡°Incorrigible caveman,¡± she says under her breath, earning her a light smack against her ass. ¡°Daddy! What¡¯s a prick?¡± We all turn our heads sharply when we hear Cohen speak from behind Axel. He looks up at us with his wide smile, chubby cherub cheeks, and his chocolate-colored eyes twinkling with wonder. He really is one of the coolest kids I¡¯ve ever met. I¡¯ve never seen him act up, and the things that come out of his mouth are hilarious. ¡°Can you guys make at least a small effort to remember there are little human ears around?¡± Greg complains while carrying both of his daughters¡ªin their car seats¡ªinto the house. Melissa follows close behind, a blinding smile across her face. She gives me a bone-crushing hug before following after Greg to help with their twins. Right when I¡¯m about to close the door, I hear another car pull into the driveway. I smile when I see Dee and Beck. She is shaking her head and moving her mouth as if she¡¯s singing¡ªbut anyone who knows Dee knows that that¡¯s a terrifying thought. That girl can¡¯t hold a tune to save her life. Beck sits in the driver¡¯s seat, watching her with adoration shining bright. I shake my head and lean against the doorframe to wait her out. When the song finally ends, she jumps out of the car and runs towards me. ¡°Guess what!¡± she screams. ¡°Uh, what?¡± ¡°We started trying,¡± she says with the biggest grin on her face. ¡°Awesome, Dee! And Beck! I would say have fun, but we all know that would be a pointless thing to say. I¡¯ve heard stories about you, John Beckett!¡± He actually blushes at my jest. I laugh, throwing my head back and almost taking Asher¡¯s nose out in the process. ¡°I don¡¯t tell her everything,¡± Dee defends. ¡°HA! Like he¡¯s going to believe you¡­ Wildcat!¡± She smacks me in the arm before giving me a big hug. Beck gives me a one-armed squeeze. I never really understood the point of those. ¡°Who is missing?¡± I call through the house, turning away from the door. ¡°Me,¡± I hear rumbled behind me. I turn around so quickly that I almost fall on my ass. Maddox reaches out quickly and steadies me. ¡°Hey, Mad.¡± I give him a big hug and kiss his rough cheek. ¡°Where is Em?¡± ¡°I¡¯m right here,¡± she grinds out, her eyes never leaving Maddox¡¯s. Well, alrighty then. ¡°I swear, you two¡ªboth of you need to wear bells. It¡¯s just not natural how quiet y¡¯all prowl.¡± Emmy looks over and flashes me a smile. We¡¯ve grown real close since she saved my life. I feel like I owe her tremendously. ¡°How are you?¡± she inquires. ¡°A lot better. I haven¡¯t had a nightmare since the bad one I had three days after it went down. I think I¡¯m getting a lot better. Asher helps a lot though. If I need to talk, he helps me get it all out and sort my head. I still have my moments, but for the first time in a long time, I don¡¯t feel alone. I¡¯m really happy. It doesn¡¯t hurt knowing that crazy bitch is going to be locked up in that mental hospital for probably the rest of her life.¡± ¡°They finally sentenced her?¡± Maddox asks. ¡°As far as I know. I don¡¯t want to talk about the details with Asher. He let me know that she would be spending the rest of her life at a treatment center, and that¡¯s all I need to know. Apparently, she went batshit crazy, and no, that isn¡¯t the technical term they used. It¡¯s just a fact. I did ask him one thing, and really, it¡¯s the only thing I care about. I wanted to know why. Why she went so far off the rocker she fell of the porch and down a hill where she landed in a pile of shit.¡± They all laugh. I join in because, really, now that it¡¯s over and done with, the only thing I can do is laugh. I don¡¯t want to remember the fear she had me drowning in. I see it every time I look at my wrists and see the scars that will probably always be there. ¡°Anyway, she got hooked on some hardcore drugs after Asher dumped her ass. Her father cut her off both physically and financially. She¡¯s been living off her seriously thick trust fund for the last eight years.¡± The specifics on just how she was able to get to me still make my skin crawl. ¡°She had it planned for months. Or as soon as she noticed how serious Asher was with me. Then, when my stomach started growing, apparently that¡¯s when she snapped. They called it a psychotic break¡ªor something like that. To her, I was the other woman who had moved in on her man.¡± I could laugh at Emmy¡¯s shocked expression. We all knew that it was bad¡ªwe just didn¡¯t realize it was this bad. ¡°She rented the apartment just a door down from ours. She would sit and watch our every move. The day that she knocked Joe unconscious and attacked me in our home was of the most terrifying experiences of my life, but I¡¯ve vowed to put it behind me. It¡¯s time for Asher and me to start moving forward and focusing on all the positive things in our lives. I just wanted to know what her motivation was. Now that I do, I can move on.¡± Page 53 ¡°You¡¯re one crazy-strong woman, Chelcie,¡± Emmy says, and I see so much respect in her eyes. ¡°I couldn¡¯t have done it without you, Em. You saved my life that day. Mine and Zac¡¯s.¡±Advertisement She blushes an adorable blush that covers her face and neck. ¡°I¡¯m just glad I had decided to stop by. I had been sitting on your baby gift for a few days¡ªever since I had gotten back in town¡ªand with everything going on, I had forgotten to bring it to you.¡± She shakes her head, and I reach out, hugging her tight. When I think about just how much her showing up was a huge tip of fate, how close I came to death that day, I still get sick. Just another reason for me to put it to rest and move on. ¡°Go on in and get comfortable. Asher has the food out on the grill now, so it shouldn¡¯t be long.¡± She moves past me, and I don¡¯t miss the look of pure fire she shoots at Maddox when she slips through to the kitchen, where I hear Asher greet her with a loud yell. He¡¯s decided that Emmy is his honorary sister. I think it¡¯s adorable. He gets almost fatherly with his protection over Emmy. Which should be hilarious to watch if Maddox ever decides to make a move on her. ¡°Don¡¯t ask me about it, girl,¡± he growls when I move my eyes from where Emmy disappeared to take him in. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about,¡± I sweetly respond, batting my eyelashes in mock innocence. ¡°Sure you don¡¯t. How are you? And I mean how are you really. None of that sugarcoated shit you¡¯ve been handing out.¡± ¡°Is there anything that doesn¡¯t get past you?¡± I evade. ¡°I¡¯m waiting.¡± His tone leaves no room for argument. I sigh. ¡°I¡¯m really good. I don¡¯t let what that woman did to me keep me from getting sleep at night. Do I have nightmares occasionally? You bet I do. Any normal person who went through that would. But, Maddox¡­if there¡¯s one thing I¡¯ve learned this past year, it¡¯s that life is way too short to sit back and dwell on things I have no control of. I¡¯m alive, I¡¯ve got a wedding to plan with a man who worships me with love, and our son will be here in just over a month. We all have bad days. The only thing that matters is whether you focus on those days and not the ones that are full of magic.¡± I reach out and cup his rugged cheek. His whiskers tickle my palm, and I laugh. ¡°One day, Maddox Locke, when you decide to let go of that pain inside you, you¡¯re going to understand what I mean. You have so much love to give in you.¡± And for just a second, he lets all those walls he¡¯s built around him down. It¡¯s a fortress of protection so heavy that I¡¯m not even sure many people have seen the real him. I gasp when I see the unadulterated pain that swims in those coal-like eyes. ¡°Yeah, sweetheart. Maybe you¡¯re right.¡± We turn and walk into the house. Everyone is laughing and talking above each other. There is so much love in this house right now that I can¡¯t stop the huge smile from forming. (Asher) Damn, she is beautiful. I can feel my cock tighten in my pants when I see that huge smile curve her lips. Her face is so open in this moment, the love and happiness clear to anyone who looks at her. ¡°You want me to wipe your drool there, Ash?¡± I vaguely hear Axel harass. ¡°Maybe we should get him a bib,¡± Greg booms with laughter. ¡°Leave him alone.¡± I move my eyes off my gorgeous woman and whip my head sharply to Maddox. He just storms past me and out to the back deck. ¡°What the hell was that about?¡± Beck asks. ¡°No clue.¡± I know things have been tough since Maddox got home. With whatever happened between him and Emmy while they were gone hanging around them in thick waves of tension, it¡¯s only a matter of time before one of them explodes. ¡°Hey, baby,¡± Chelcie breathes, sidling up to my side and curling her arms around me. ¡°Did you invite Sway and Davey? They haven¡¯t gotten here yet, so I wasn¡¯t sure if we should hold dinner for them.¡± ¡°They can¡¯t make it, Sunshine. Davey is taking Sway home to meet the folks this weekend.¡± ¡°What?¡± she gasps, excitement almost vibrating off of her. ¡°You heard me, babe. It looks like Davey is getting pretty serious. I¡¯ll tell you this much¡ªif they get married before us, I will not be a happy man.¡± She cocks her head to the side in the most adorable way and ponders my threat. ¡°Okay. Let¡¯s go to the courthouse Monday. I¡¯m free, you¡¯re free¡ªlet¡¯s do this.¡± I study her¡ªtrying to determine if she¡¯s pulling my leg or not. ¡°You serious, Sunshine?¡± ¡°Now, Asher Cooper, would I joke about something as serious as making you mine?¡± ¡°I think you¡¯ve got that a little mixed up, babe,¡± I laugh, the sound roaring through the room. ¡°Nope. You¡¯re going to be mine and I¡¯m going to love every second of it.¡± It takes me a second to realize that the room has gone completely silent. I glance over her head and into the living room and see each one of our friends¡ªno, our family¡ªlooking in on us, listening to our conversation with no shame at all. ¡°Well, it looks like we¡¯re getting married on Monday!¡± I give her a deep kiss that is packed with all the desire I have for her. I used to live my life in the past, stuck on a quest I was willing to die for. Trapped in a pit of darkness that I felt I would never leave. Until one incredible woman took a chance on me¡ªshined her light full of love and hope in on that darkness¡ªand she saved me. She showed me how to live my life for a future I wanted¡ªhow to make peace with my pain and how to embrace my happiness. And in two days, she¡¯s going to be my wife. Mine. (Maddox) I walk past Chelcie while I choke down a lump the size of fucking Texas. I purposely sideswipe Emmy when I see her standing just behind us, her eyes full of tears. Fuck. It kills me to see her hurting. Fucking breaks me. I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and promise her the world. But I keep walking. She deserves so much more than me¡ªa broken man with nothing but the trail of pain behind him. I want to laugh when I remember Asher telling me about the darkness that was surrounding him. He acted like there was no way I could understand his situation. There¡¯s no doubt about it¡ªhe had a shit run. Losing Coop cut us all deep, so I can only imagine that the slice he took losing his brother cut him to the core. Page 54 And if he had darkness closing in on him, then I¡¯ve been stuck in a black fucking hole. I know darkness. It¡¯s my best fucking friend. It¡¯s tainted every inch of my soul. And that¡¯s why I am terrified to let Emmy in. To risk my angel becoming tainted with the shit that swirls around me.Advertisement She¡¯s pureness. She¡¯s the definition of everything I don¡¯t deserve. I snag a beer out of the fridge and go sit in the living room. Silent as always. Listening to all of the people I care about laugh and love. Meanwhile, I keep my mouth shut, afraid that, if I let my guard down¡ªif I let them in¡ªI will destroy them all. I hear Asher announce from where he¡¯s standing in the kitchen that he and Chelcie will be getting married this week. Good for them. Chelcie looks at me and gives me a wink. I shake my head and look away. Right into the steaming-mad eyes of Emersyn Rose Keeze. I hold her gaze and wait to see what she will do next. ¡°You¡¯re fucking unbelievable,¡± she mumbles, almost low enough that I don¡¯t catch it. And like the idiot I am, I egg her on. ¡°What was that, Em?¡± Her eyes flash. Her porcelain skin turns pink, and she jumps up from where she was sitting at the kitchen table. The chair falls to the floor in a loud clatter that draws the attention of the room. Fucking great. She storms over to me, grabs my beer from my hand, and takes a large pull before handing it back to me. ¡°Look at you. Sitting there silent as always. You¡¯re in a room full of people who love each other. People who have fought their demons in order to be together. They had the strength to battle anything that stood in their way. The courage to push away from uncertainty of the unknown. And what does Maddox Locke do? He sits back and gives everyone else around him advice on how to make that happen! He fights for them, but he refuses to fight for himself. FOR ME! Well guess what, buddy? I¡¯m sick of it. I love you FOR you. I never gave a damn about your past, those secrets you hide so deep. I¡¯ve been willing to fight for you. Battle those demons that shake your doors at night. And while I¡¯m at it, I might as well just go for broke, right?¡± She laughs, and it sounds so empty. ¡°I never gave a damn about you having one leg. You think you¡¯re slick hiding it, but I see you! I didn¡¯t love you for whatever limbs you have or don¡¯t have. I want you for your heart, and I won¡¯t settle for anything less.¡± She stomps over to Asher and Chelcie, gives them a hug, and apologizes for ruining their night¡ªto which, of course, they assure her that she didn¡¯t. The whole time she¡¯s talking to them, Asher is throwing silent daggers at me with his eyes. I¡¯m left there, my jaw slack, and a million doubts running through my mind. And for the first time in too many years, that small flame of hope starts to flicker. Epilogue ¨C Chelcie Ugh. I feel terrible. My back has been killing me all day. Of course it doesn¡¯t help that I went crazy pregnant woman and cleaned every inch of the house I could reach yesterday. My due date has come¡­and gone. I¡¯m so beyond ready to meet our baby that my anxiety is making me crazy. Asher is just as bad. He¡¯s been calling me every hour, on the hour, for the last three days. Ever since I passed my due date, it would seem that I transferred over my basket-case persona to him. And it is driving me nuts. So here I am on this perfectly sunny day, surprising my husband with lunch at work. He hasn¡¯t been terribly busy lately, just going in for a few hours a day. With him and Maddox working the computers and technical team at Corps Security, they¡¯ve been able to ease the workload considerably. I pull myself out of my brand-new Audi, a wedding present from Asher, and hike up my pants in a move that I¡¯m sure is sexy as hell. I pull at the edges of my shirt to make sure it¡¯s covering my stomach before I reach in the car and grab the bag of lunch I picked up from Asher¡¯s favorite Mexican restaurant. The smell of it has almost caused me to wreck the damn car a few times on the way over. After making sure I have everything, I waddle over to the sidewalk, my flip-flops slapping loudly against the pavement. Seeing Sway in the window has me lifting my arm and waving wildly. The second I go to put my arm down, I feel this tremendous pain in my stomach. Sway cocks his head at me, clearly puzzled with my actions. I look down from his eyes and try to figure out what just happened. Sway bursts through the door to his salon about the same time that I realize that my water just broke. Of all places to have my water break, it¡¯s the damn golden sidewalk. I love this sidewalk. Now all I¡¯m going to think about is my pregnancy water leaking out of my vagina. ¡°Sway! My vagina broke the happiness!¡± I cry when he runs over. He grabs the food and my purse before helping me walk the few steps left to take me inside Corps Security. ¡°Sway!¡± I pant. ¡°Are you listening to me? My vagina broke it!¡± Of course that would be the moment that we step through the door to CS. And of course the lobby wouldn¡¯t be empty. ¡°Hey, baby,¡± I gasp. I grab my tight stomach when new wave of pain washes over me. Holy shit, this hurts. ¡°Sunshine? Are you okay?¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m not okay! I brought you Mexican and my vagina broke the happiness! Do I look okay?¡± I have to take a huge gulp of air when I feel another sharp pain rock through my stomach. ¡°They aren¡¯t supposed to be coming this fast, baby,¡± I whine. His eyes widen when the meaning behind my words becomes clear. He smiles for a second before I whimper when my stomach starts to tighten again. ¡°Davey, sugar pie, I think you need to get those sexy fingers of yours dancing over to the phone. It¡¯s looks like there¡¯s a baby on the way.¡± That snaps Asher into motion. He tosses the file he was looking at over to Davey, rushing over to my side and helping Sway move me deeper into the lobby. We are just about the pass the reception desk when I let out a brutal scream and my body goes limp. ¡°Let¡¯s lay her down here, all right, darling?¡± Sway asks, calm as can be. I look into Asher¡¯s eyes and see the fear leering behind his excitement. I try to reassure him that I¡¯m okay¡ªthat this is normal¡ªbut when I open my mouth, the only thing that comes out is a scream. ¡°Dil, baby,¡± Davey calls from where he is standing, talking to what I assume is the 911 operator. ¡°Go ahead, doll. You just tell me what I need to do,¡± Sway calls over his shoulder. I can hear Davey responding to him, but I¡¯m lost to the pain that is ripping though my body. I keep my eyes glued to Asher¡¯s. He strokes my face, kissing my hand when it clamps down on his own, and between the contractions that are killing me, he presses his forehead against mine and whispers how much he loves me. Page 55 I feel movement and then cold air hits my legs. I keep my eyes on Ash, my breathing controlled and my hand clamped in his. When I feel someone take my other hand in theirs, I break my connection to Asher and look over at Maddox¡¯s grim face. He gives me a weak smile and a small squeeze. I feel another contraction starting, so I whip my head back to Asher and grunt through the pain. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare look any lower than her face,¡± Asher warns Maddox.Advertisement I would laugh if I didn¡¯t feel like I was being sawed in half. I vaguely feel my panties being removed and my eyes widen in shock. ¡°It¡¯s okay, Sunshine. Let Sway do what they tell him to. We need to check and see if you¡¯re crowning. Jesus, I can¡¯t believe this is happening here.¡± His eyes show his vulnerability in the moment, and I don¡¯t have time to analyze his words because just on the heels of the last one, another powerful pain takes my abdomen prisoner. I scream when it becomes too much. ¡°Uh, Asher.¡± He looks down when Sway calls his name and his eyes widen so large that I briefly wonder if they will pop out. He looks back at me, his eyes showing his worry. ¡°You need to push now. I¡¯m right here and everything is going to be okay. I promise you that.¡± I gulp and take a deep breath, remembering from the classes we took what I should be doing. It takes more effort than I ever thought was possible. I scream, curse, and beg. It takes ten long minutes, my body starting to take the toll of the effort I¡¯m using to push our son out. To give him life. I just finish another push that makes me feel like my head is about to blow off my body. The pain felt different¡ªmore intense¡ªthan what had been seizing my insides. I give another push, my energy starting to drain quickly. ¡°No more! Stop! Oh, God!¡± I stop immediately when Sway screams over my groaning. My body is demanding that I push, but I hold back, praying that this will be over soon. Asher¡¯s face has a look of complete euphoria. He¡¯s looking down past my stomach. The tears that are falling from his eyes in rapid succession make me fear that something could be wrong. ¡°Chelcie, give me one more small push.¡± I bear down and do as Sway says. The emptiness that follows terrifies me for a second. And then I hear it. The most powerful lungs I¡¯ve ever heard pierce through the room. Asher leans down, his forehead once again hitting mine. Our tears dance together. I hear the EMT rush into the room, but I don¡¯t move. They call out orders, and Asher leans up. I look down and see Sway still kneeling between my spread legs. He¡¯s holding a small bundle wrapped in what I recognize as Asher¡¯s shirt. He hands him over to the man waiting to make sure he¡¯s okay and looks up to meet my eyes. I¡¯ve never seen Sway this overcome with emotion. His tears are falling just as fast as ours are. ¡°He¡¯s beautiful,¡± he croaks. He moves out of the way and lets the professionals do their jobs. It takes a few minutes before I watch as one of the men walk around and hand the small bundle¡ªnow wrapped in a clean blanket¡ªto Asher. He lets out a breath, tracing our son¡¯s round cheek with his finger. I silently soak up this moment between father and son. My body heaves with the effort to keep my sobs in. I observe in awe as Asher brings our tiny son¡¯s face close and gently lowers his forehead to Zac¡¯s. ¡°I¡¯ll love him so much, little brother,¡± he whispers. I watch through my clouded tears as Asher gives Zac a kiss on the top of his head, looks over to the far wall, and smiles sadly before he leans down and hands me our son. When I look at his tiny face for the first time, I feel a love so powerful that it¡¯s like my heart just jump-started to full throttle. ¡°He¡¯s perfect,¡± I gasp. His fuzzy head of hair, plump, tiny lips and round cheeks¡ªall features that mirror his father. He looks just like Coop, and I can¡¯t help but smile at the thought. ¡°Full circle, brother.¡± I forgot that Maddox is there until he spoke. It takes me a second to understand, but then I remember Asher¡¯s earlier comment. I lean forward slightly and peer over Maddox¡¯s shoulder to see the portrait of Coop hanging proudly. His smiling face looks down on us, showering us with the happiness he always carried. And that¡¯s when it hits me¡ªthe enormity of what Maddox just spoke. We lost Coop in this very spot not even a year ago, and here we are now¡ªCoop¡¯s son being born right where he was lost to us forever. ¡°Full circle,¡± I murmur, stroking Zac¡¯s cheek. Later that night, with the room full of our family, we finally tell them Zac¡¯s full name. There isn¡¯t a single person who isn¡¯t crying after that. I just know that, when Zac grows up, he will be a man strong enough to carry his name. Zachariah Asher Cooper. Our perfect son. And the proof that there really is a higher power at play. There is no doubt in my mind that Coop was with us today. That he watched over as his son was born and his brother became a father. Life coming full circle. The End