《Deluge》


 CH 1

    August had just come around. On a day where the summer heat assaults one¡¯s face, Xu Juan was dragged into a clubhouse by a bunch of scoundrels. Someone demanded that he throw a celebration.


    What celebration? It was all pure nonsense. The excuse they used was ¡°to celebrate Director Xu¡¯s return to the ranks of eligible diamond bachelors¡±. Xu Juan sat on the sofa in the private room and listened to their plans without much enthusiasm, nodding from time to time. Apart from indifference, nothing else showed on his face.


    This was too strange.


    Today¡¯s event was organized by Hou Shijie, Xu Juan¡¯s younger cousin. He had lived within Xu Juan¡¯s sphere of influence since he was young, and feared his high profile and promiscuous older cousin to death. Over the years, Hou Shijie slowly but surely grew into the role of a lapdog who dared not be impudent before Xu Juan.


    But it had always been a mere facade; He harboured personal intentions. Rumour has it that their Director Xu, who usually prided himself in his gentlemanly demeanour, flew into quite the rage that day. He chased his popular celebrity boyfriend out of the house and left him outside the villa for half an hour, crying and begging at the door. Videos taken by the paparazzi were all over the hot searches, so how could Hou Shijie not be curious? If one is curious, they should just ask around and find pleasure in gossip.


    And so, Hou Shijie began by beating around the bush, asking Xu Juan: ¡°Ge, are you in a bad mood today? I saw the hot searches. What happened, that little celebrity pissed you off? Then just ditch him and get a replacement, I¡¯ll introduce someone to you?¡±


    Once the words were out, everyone in the private room turned to stare at Xu Juan.


    Rather than this being an important matter, it was because this bunch of people passed their days with nothing better to do. They were bored out of their minds and enjoyed spectating drama. It just so happened that drama involving their Director Xu didn¡¯t come by often, much less one that had escalated to this scale.


    Thanks to the other involved party Li Mengzhou being quite well-known in the entertainment circle, the trending topics were filled with fired-up fans scolding the paparazzi for starting rumours, ¡°Our gege isn¡¯t gay neither is he a sugar baby¡±. Having been assigned his role as the evil and the bourgeoisie, despite not showing his face, the moment Xu Juan¡¯s name was exposed, his entire family background was dug up and taken apart. So, while the online users exclaimed ¡°this rich bastard is actually pretty damn capable¡±, they also wove new rumours of ¡°aristocratic melodrama¡±.


    Considering things had escalated to this extent, it would be weird if Xu Juan didn¡¯t get angry.


    Ever since they started the round of drinks, Xu Juan¡¯s phone hadn¡¯t stopped ringing. The incoming call screen furiously displayed ¡°Li Mengzhou¡±, these three big characters. Upon the fifth ring, Xu Juan picked up and said just one sentence: ¡°Scram, don¡¯t bother me.¡±


    Li Mengzhou didn¡¯t dare let out even a single squeak and hung up crying. Too afraid to call again, he reverted to texting through Wechat.


    Xu Juan paid no attention to his Wechat. He leaned against the sofa and didn¡¯t touch his phone, neither did he respond to Hou Shijie.


    He raised his hand and gestured vaguely, signalling to everyone not to bother him. Then, he shut his eyes; He seemed unexpectedly tired, as if at his wit¡¯s end. His face was so pale, it was almost sickly.


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    Despite that, Xu Juan wasn¡¯t a complete asshole. His exes, men or women, never ended the relationship with hard feelings. He was generous with his lovers and never put them in difficult situations.


    This unbridled fiasco with Li Mengzhou was truly the first of its kind.


    But judging from Li Mengzhou¡¯s polite temperament, it was clearly Xu Juan who was one-sidedly making a big deal out of things. How could Li Mengzhou possibly dare to provoke him?


    Now this was even more odd. Since Li Mengzhou didn¡¯t provoke him, why was he so angry, to the point of chasing the other out the door? No matter how terrible it could have been, Li Mengzhou was still a recognized celebrity.


    Hou Shijie inwardly mulled over this matter and secretly concluded that the problem couldn¡¯t have been Li Mengzhou. Chances were that Xu Juan had run into some sort of personal issue, Li Mengzhou was in the wrong place at the wrong time and inadvertently became cannon fodder.


    But Hou Shijie didn¡¯t dare to be the one prodding Xu Juan¡¯s sore spot, so he nudged Guo Shao who was beside him, urging him to speak.


    It wasn¡¯t just any random nudge; In their circle, one¡¯s social standing hinged on their family background and status. The Xu family sat at the apex of Hong city¡¯s elites and the Guo family wasn¡¯t too far behind. Guo Shao completely forgoed asking what happened, neither did he feel it was necessary, and directly said: ¡°Xing Yun got some newbies yesterday, all of them are not bad, pure and natural. Since our Director Xu isn¡¯t in a good mood, I¡¯ll choose some eye-pleasing ones. A simple matter like celebrities, whether they¡¯re big or small, if they become popular or not, revolves around Director Xu¡¯s words.¡±


    Xing Yun was an entertainment company under the Guo family. Once he¡¯d said this, someone laughed: ¡°Yo, young master Guo, could it be that you haven¡¯t opened a company, but instead a low-grade brothel!¡±


    Hoots and guffaws filled the private room.


    Xu Juan, too, showed a trace of a smile. Truthfully speaking, Xu Juan had decent looks. Although it wasn¡¯t the face of a first-rate celebrity, he still had profound facial features and an outstanding temperament. In addition, what set him apart from celebrities was that the aura he emanated wasn¡¯t faked ¨C it was carved into his bones.


    After all, a man¡¯s most attractive feature wasn¡¯t necessarily always his face.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°I¡¯ll pass, I¡¯m tired. My family¡¯s old man has been busying himself overseas for half a year. He¡¯ll be back soon, and once he returns to Hong city, my good old days will come to an end.¡±


    ¡°Aiya, that¡¯s a shame.¡± Guo Shao said, ¡°these newbies at my company really are decent. If I weren¡¯t on such good terms with Director Xu, I would¡¯ve hidden them for myself, without a word to outsiders!¡±


    ¡°Really, you¡¯re not kidding?¡± Xu Juan indulged him, showing half-hearted interest.


    However, Guo Shao took him seriously, giving his secretary a call on the spot: ¡°Nancy, are those people from yesterday at the company? Those kids that Fei jie signed. Tell them to get ready and come find me.¡±


    Once done, he relayed the name of the clubhouse and hung up, gesturing to Xu Juan that everything had been settled.


    Trivial matters like these happened frequently; Calling up some little celebrity to join them at the clubhouse was in the nature of their work. Moreover, bringing people from one¡¯s own company made it safer. Anyway, the advantages were bountiful; In the name of fame and profit, everyone in the circle fixated on an upward climb and everything happened in mutual agreement.


    To be honest, Xu Juan wasn¡¯t fond of this practice. Not because he was noble or incorruptible. It was simply because he was even more wretched. He had no interest in the beauties who clung to him for the sake of climbing higher. Rather, he preferred messing with innocent young men and women ¨C the purer the better.


    So, these past six months, he had cycled through a few lovers and yet he wasn¡¯t satisfied. He began changing lovers more often, until he met Li Mengzhou.


    Li Mengzhou was indeed different from other celebrities and was quite upright with his own principles, not conforming to these improper unspoken rules.


    But that was at the beginning. After Xu Juan played his little tricks, Li Mengzhou fell into enemy hands and abandoned his principles to get with him.


    Xu Juan was immediately bored, even suspecting that he had misjudged the other and felt disappointed.


    Despite that, he does admit that his mentality crossed some lines; It was as if he were forcing an honourable family to sell him their daughter, using underhand methods to push the other party to their limit and reach a compromise. Yet, once the deal was complete, he would retort: So you¡¯re actually this kind of person, unprincipled and without a bottom line.


    He was utterly despicable.


    Today¡¯s breakup with Li Mengzhou wasn¡¯t due to this, though.


    Xu Juan might be inherently vile, but he still maintained a gentlemanly demeanour and rarely lost his cool. To him, being unable to control his temper alluded to poor upbringing. Even a scumbag should have standards, so he would never snap at or hit his partners.


    So why did he get so mad all of a sudden? Of course, there was a reason.


    That morning, he was still peacefully asleep in bed. Li Mengzhou decided to kiss him out of the blue, probably wanting to reenact a scene from romance dramas by kissing him awake.


    It wasn¡¯t a bad idea, but when Xu Juan was young, he was almost smothered to death in his sleep. After that unsuccessful murder attempt, Xu Juan became psychologically averse to similar sensations. Bleary-eyed and half-asleep, Li Mengzhou had nearly scared him to death.


    But this was too personal a reason. Even Hou Shijie had no idea of it, how could he tell it to a lover that he didn¡¯t even care about?


    It took Xu Juan a long time to calm his heart palpitations down, and the rest of the day passed with him feeling drained and his chest tight.


    So when Hou Shijie suddenly wanted to act as a pimp, he wasn¡¯t interested and was merely indulging him for the sake of being polite. He didn¡¯t expect Guo Shao to actually call anyone over.


    There were four of them, two boys and two girls. They looked young, around seventeen to eighteen, at most barely twenty, like four little heads of cabbage lining up in the private room.


    Guo Shao said: ¡°What does our Director Xu think?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan suddenly felt a bone-deep exhaustion, lamenting to himself: Nowadays, not only do pimps feel stressed, even a customer such as himself will be under pressure and made to indulge out of courtesy.


    He didn¡¯t want to put Guo Shao in an awkward spot, so he randomly pointed to one of the girls and said she was pretty.


    She was indeed pretty, the fresh and pure sort. Shoulder-length hair, a long white skirt, and bright, coy eyes. Which man wouldn¡¯t be moved?


    But Xu Juan had met countless beauties, was there even any kind that he hadn¡¯t seen before? He was sick of them by now.


    With waning interest, Xu Juan held out his hand. The girl huddled into his embrace like a white rabbit, glancing at him out of the corners of her eyes, seemingly content with him.


    For a short moment, Xu Juan felt as if he was the one who just got pimped, and felt like laughing. Before he could say anything, though, the door to the private room was suddenly flung open and someone burst inside.


    When this happened, everyone paused.


    Hou Shijie stood up, annoyed: ¡°Wrong room? What were you doing, you didn¡¯t even knock!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m looking for someone.¡±


    It was a man.


    There was but one dim lamp in the private room, making the atmosphere rather ambiguous. The man stood in the doorway, angled in a way where his shadow stretched in the light. He was tall, his legs long, his body straight like pine and bamboo. All of this was meticulously wrapped in suit pants and a white shirt. Standing there, he didn¡¯t seem to belong in a place like this. Rather, he looked like a high-level intellectual who had come to attend an academic seminar.


    Xu Juan stared at him in a daze. His spirits rose and the entire day¡¯s exhaustion dissipated in an instant.


    Disregarding who the other was looking for, he was the first to stand up, directly walking over.


    ¨C¨C How did the saying go again? Love at first sight occurs at the right time and place.


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t about to make this too complicated, love at first sight was simply due to one reason: This person before him was better-looking than anyone he had ever seen, that¡¯s all.


    ¡°Pleasure meeting you.¡± Xu Juan took the initiative and extended his hand.

 CH 2

    Flirting is an art requiring finesse. Xu Juan was experienced and naturally wouldn¡¯t let the words ¡°you¡¯ve caught my attention, I¡¯m here to hit on you¡± be plastered all over his face.


    One glance at the man¡¯s expression was enough for him to gather that the other had barged in uninvited, and that he had a problem. Problems should be offered solutions, so Xu Juan walked up to him, polite and enthusiastic: ¡°Pleasure meeting you, who might you be looking for?¡±


    It was evident that the other had a decent upbringing; Despite the disdain on his face, he still accepted the handshake. Then, he pointed at the girl Xu Juan had just been embracing, saying: ¡°Looking for her. She¡¯s my student, Tang Sisi.¡±


    Xu Juan was startled. He didn¡¯t expect that this intellectual was actually an intellectual, he was even a teacher? But he looked to be at most twenty five or twenty six, saying he was a senior would make more sense, to be a teacher seemed too far-fetched.


    Sure enough, the girl called Tang Sisi stood up in panic, walking over with her tail between her legs. She lowered her head and called out ¡°Pei laoshi¡± timidly.


    Her shoulders were trembling and she didn¡¯t even dare to look up. Xu Juan understood the situation immediately ¡ª Due to vanity or some other reason, this female student tried to take shortcuts by utilizing her looks for shady work, but was caught in the act by her teacher.


    This teacher seemed to care a bit too much. These days, most people would turn a blind eye to situations like these, much less barge their way through the door. After all, who didn¡¯t know that the ones who patronized these venues were all influential figures? Could he afford to offend them?


    Yet, he still came.


    Not only was he upright, he also had guts. He was indeed a person of great strength and character, Xu Juan was liking him more and more.


    While others grew more zealous towards a person they fancied, Xu Juan instead became more aloof, and even withdrew his antics slightly.


    ¡°Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°Pei Yu.¡±


    ¡°Oh, Mr Pei Yu. Is it the yu from jade?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s the yu from writing brush.¡±


    Xu Juan had yet to figure out which character the yu from writing brush was, but Pei Yu wasn¡¯t in the mood for idle chatter, turning to leave once he got ahold of Tang Sisi. Before Xu Juan got a chance to play his cards, Guo Shao became displeased. He stood abruptly: ¡°Hey, what¡¯s going on here? She belongs to my company, how can you take her away as you wish? This girl, you came here to ruin the occasion, didn¡¯t you!¡±


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    Guo Shao watched, bewildered, as Xu Juan followed them out: ¡°The fuck, if he¡¯s interested, he should¡¯ve just said so. Why is our Director Xu so restrained today? I even thought they knew each other!¡±


    ¡°Knew each other, my ass.¡± Hou Shijie let out a yawn, long accustomed to such behaviour. ¡°But they¡¯ll know each other soon enough. By my estimation, he¡¯ll succeed by tonight. Just wait and see.¡±


    Hou Shijie didn¡¯t overestimate Xu Juan, but he underestimated Pei Yu.


    Although Pei Yu seemed to have a fair temperament, he wasn¡¯t a fool. The moment Xu Juan followed them out, he received a warning glare from the other.


    ¡°Do you need something?¡±


    It was an August afternoon, and the clubhouse was surrounded by alleys in the shade of trees. The car park was quite a distance away on foot. Pei Yu walked in front; Under his oppressive presence, Tang Sisi walked the entire way without daring to lift her head. She only saw his footsteps pause all of a sudden, before turning around to fix Xu Juan with an icy look.


    Clearly, as one of the venue¡¯s frequent patrons, Xu Juan didn¡¯t leave a good impression.


    Xu Juan offered a small smile and didn¡¯t mention he came looking for Pei Yu, instead pointing to Tang Sisi: ¡°I have a few things to say to her. Pei laoshi, is that all right with you?¡±


    Pei Yu looked at Tang Sisi, and she hurriedly spoke up: ¡°Th-thank you, Director Xu. I have urgent school matters to attend to, we can always find another day¡­¡±


    ¡°Are you a high school student? Or a university student?¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°I have no other intentions, so don¡¯t be nervous.¡±


    His attitude was pleasant, so Tang Sisi breathed a sigh of relief: ¡°University. I¡¯ll be in my second year once the semester starts. My apologies, Director Xu, I¡­¡±


    Initially, she had wanted to say I¡¯ve made things awkward for you, but with Pei Yu watching her, how could she dare apologize to Xu Juan? It was her who had been placed in the most awkward spot. The reason she had tried to sell her looks was because her family was in a bad financial position. Yet, it wasn¡¯t completely accurate to say her family background had forced her onto this particular path. She was a willing party and saw no wrong in taking shortcuts. After all, she had every right to capitalize on her own looks. In addition, the financial backer was Xu Juan; He had such good qualifications, she didn¡¯t feel the slightest disadvantaged.


    But these thoughts were rather improper. If exposed, she would feel utterly humiliated.


    Little did she expect such a coincidence; She just had to come across Pei Yu. Pei Yu was well-known at her school for being cold and unfeeling, keeping his work and private matters strictly separate. Now that she was being brought back, disciplinary action seemed unavoidable. The worst case scenario was expulsion.


    Tang Sisi kept her head lowered as the tears fell, unable to resist glancing at Xu Juan.


    She couldn¡¯t understand why Xu Juan followed them out. Does he feel something for her? Does he like her?


    As expected, Xu Juan intended to speak up for her: ¡°I can tell you have your struggles. I know Guo Shao well; Many young girls are naive. They assume that signing with a big company like Xing Yun shouldn¡¯t be a problem, then start to regret afterwards. You¡¯re only in your second year of university, how could you possibly have been aware of the twists and turns in society? The company forcing you to be a drinking companion was also not your choice.¡±


    In a few words, he managed to make light of the situation, going from ¡°whoring around¡± to ¡°drinking companionship¡±. Though both didn¡¯t sound great, at least it was no longer too vulgar. Pei Yu didn¡¯t catch the both of them engaging in any indecent act, but when he heard this, he still stared blankly, somewhat skeptical.


    And it had to be said: Pei Yu was truly very good looking.


    Xu Jian stood a little closer. Beneath the sunlight that had scattered between tree leaves, he could see Pei Yu¡¯s long lashes clearly. When a person looked good, even their lashes had the ability to move one¡¯s heart.


    Of course, it wasn¡¯t just his lashes; The bridge of his nose, his lips, jaw ¨C not a single part of him wasn¡¯t perfect.


    With a deity like that teaching at school, would his students even be able to focus? No wonder Tang Sisi was led astray; He was hindering her studies too much.


    It had been a long time since Xu Juan met a partner he was this interested in. He was a picture of ardence, seemingly enthusiastic about speaking up for Tang Sisi, but in reality, he was merely attempting to redeem Pei Yu¡¯s impression of him.


    He let out a light cough, continuing: ¡°It¡¯s not easy for newbies in the entertainment circle to progress. It¡¯s not just you, I¡¯m the same as well. In circumstances like these, we each have our own hardships; Social niceties are unavoidable. Don¡¯t you agree, Pei laoshi?¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t counter. Xu Juan said: ¡°So why don¡¯t we put this incident behind us? When you get back to school, I hope Pei laoshi won¡¯t¨C¨C¡±


    ¡°Thank you for the concern you have for my student.¡± Pei Yu interrupted him coldly, ¡°Other matters have nothing to do with you, so Mr Xu need not trouble yourself.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    This person was so young, but he spoke like his grandfather. Why was he so solemn?


    But the serious ones were so his type. Especially when he took them to bed, just imagining their expression sent Xu Juan¡¯s heart into somewhat of a frantic overdrive.


    ¡°All right, then.¡± Xu Juan didn¡¯t press him. After all, haste ruins everything; One has to first set out bait, then await the returns.


    Xu Juan took out his phone, opened his Wechat QR code and said to Tang Sisi: ¡°Why don¡¯t you add me? If you have any problems in the future, just hit me up. ¨C¨C¨C Don¡¯t worry, I have no other intentions. Actually, I¡¯m not interested in women, I was just playing along out of courtesy.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Tang Sisi gave him a blank stare, even Pei Yu looked over.


    Despite how directly Xu Juan had phrased his statement, this was still not explicit enough. An intellectual in the ivory tower who rarely interacted with society, did not understand terms used in the world of debauchery.


    Though he could still guess its meaning, a person like Pei Yu wasn¡¯t that shameless. He may have gotten the hint, but he wouldn¡¯t immediately interpret it as ¡°so it isn¡¯t my student that this rich playboy is interested in, it¡¯s me¡±. To think this way would inevitably arouse suspicions of one-sided attraction.


    As such, Pei Yu only gave Xu Juan a fleeting glance.


    Xu Juan was in formal wear. A couple of buttons at the neck were undone, making him seem a little uninhibited. But when he was putting on airs, he had an appearance that could easily deceive others into developing a favourable impression of him.


    Pei Yu withdrew his gaze.


    Xu Juan¡¯s brow raised slightly, then he reached out to offer his phone: ¡°Pei laoshi, add me too?¡±


    T/N: I want to share that the comments on this chapter made me laugh, 90% of them were just going Ì«»áÁË, Ì«»áÁË.

 CH 3

    Pei Yu didn¡¯t add Xu Juan, but Tang Sisi did.


    Xu Juan remained unfazed; Since he had already decided to take his time, he unhurriedly went back to the clubhouse and continued drinking.


    Seeing him return empty-handed, Hou Shijie was dumbfounded, asking what happened? From where has this divine being come, to lead you on a wild goose chase? Xu Juan merely wagged his finger, putting on an air of mystery. Then, he laid back down onto the sofa to feign sleep.


    After having dinner with everyone that night, Xu Juan didn¡¯t stay behind to mess with them, instead driving home alone.


    He went back to his parent¡¯s house.


    Xu Juan¡¯s father, Xu Jiren, was a well-known entrepreneur. Not only was he rich, he also had an excellent reputation and was the role model of many young entrepreneurs. If one had to point out an area in which Xu Jiren had failed in life, then it was probably the fact that he had given birth to a disappointing, good-for-nothing son.


    However, there exists a saying, it is a father¡¯s duty to educate his son. Xu Jiren had yet to find anything wrong with his way of educating, such that it would lead Xu Juan astray.


    He remembered that Xu Juan wasn¡¯t always like this. The Xu family had three children; Xu Juan had an older brother and an older sister. His brother had entered the business early to help out their father. Even before graduating university, he was able to take full charge. His sister was a pianist ¨C her natural gift for music had been astounding ever since she was little, and in recent years, she had only been improving, gaining international fame.


    The turning point of Xu Juan¡¯s life happened when he turned twenty. Before he was twenty, he was even more outstanding than his older siblings. He had great results, participated in various mathematics and physics olympiads, and won prizes often. He could draw, could do calligraphy, play the piano and was fluent in multiple foreign languages. He was practically an all-rounder and excelled in everything he did.


    Back then, the uncles and aunties in high society would show expressions of envy once Director Xu¡¯s children were brought up. Especially Xu Juan, both outstanding and good looking, they couldn¡¯t have begged the gods for such a precious son even if they tried. The Xu family ancestors must have done countless good deeds in life.


    Xu Jiren was also proud and doted on Xu Juan dearly.


    Thus, Xu Juan¡¯s coming of age ceremony on his twentieth birthday was a grand affair. His mother personally made the preparations and organized a huge event for him.


    That day, his father and older brother set aside their busy schedules and rushed back from another city. His older sister, who was having a concert overseas, hopped onto a plane the moment she got off the stage, hurrying home as early as she could. Many friends and family were also in attendance. Everyone huddled adoringly around young master Xu as he went up onto the stage, blew out the candles and made his wishes.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Today is my twentieth birthday. I¡¯ve given it a lot of thought; Twenty is a boundary line in one¡¯s life. I¡¯m not sure how my life will play out in the future, but for now, I only have one wish: From now on, I will be true to myself.¡±


    Beneath the stage, the applause was thunderous.


    These were such lovely words. The entirety of that night, everyone was all smiles, and the birthday banquet came to a perfect end.


    But a few days later, not even one person in the family could force out a laugh.


    Xu Juan kept his word and was very ¡°true to himself¡±. He stopped attending classes properly, stopped practising the piano and even stopped drawing. He began to indulge in a life of debauchery with Hou Shijie, going from ¡°the future pillar of the motherland¡± to ¡°a hedonistic, depraved son of a rich family¡± without so much as a warning.


    He nearly angered his father to death at the start, and his mother spent the entire day in tears reflecting on herself: Did she not dote on her son enough? Did she put too much pressure on him over his studies, making it difficult for him to bear? Why did a good child like him suddenly become like this? It must be mom¡¯s fault.


    Xu Juan moved out of the family home, and began to live alone.


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    Today was such an example. The rumours regarding him and a celebrity had even made it to the hot searches, disgracing the entire family. Xu Jiren had intended to return from overseas during the weekend, but rushed back today all for the sake of reprimanding him in person.


    In the living room, Xu Juan¡¯s sitting posture was very proper. The housekeeper, Auntie Zhao, set down the tea she had brewed in front of him and gave him a sympathetic glance.


    Xu Jiren had already been scolding for ten minutes and was a little weary. Then, he took one look at Xu Juan and felt the exhaustion from deep in his heart; He didn¡¯t talk back to him, but he didn¡¯t seem to be listening either. He let out a sigh and softened his tone to Xu Juan: ¡°How¡¯s your company faring now?¡±


    Xu Juan had started a company on his own and was diligently making games, but the game industry wasn¡¯t flourishing in recent times. Xu Juan wasn¡¯t sure if it was because he wasn¡¯t capable enough, or if he wasn¡¯t earnest enough. The company ran for quite a few years, hanging on the brink of bankruptcy every year. Miraculously, it still hadn¡¯t actually gone bankrupt.


    How could Xu Jiren possibly not be aware of the situation? He was merely asking on purpose, to show some concern.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Not too bad. There¡¯s currently a big project under development.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    A big project¡­ The bigger the project, wouldn¡¯t the loss also increase? Xu Jiren was unable to mask his worry, blurting out: ¡°Do you need me to find some people to give you a hand?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no need, dad, thanks.¡± Xu Juan laughed a little, his attitude perfectly pleasant. Despite exhibiting rebellious behaviour throughout, he maintained a well-behaved facade, making it impossible for Xu Jiren to lose his temper. Eventually, he just heaved a sigh of despair and let him be.


    Even if Xu Jiren didn¡¯t scold him, Xu Juan was well-aware; When he was out there fraternizing, he was doing so with the status and identity of the Xu family¡¯s second young master. If he weren¡¯t Xu Juan, why would all those men and women rush to sleep with him?


    Xu Juan let out a yawn, his interest rapidly waning.


    When he was twenty, he had announced he would be ¡°true to himself¡±, but now he was almost twenty six, and he still had no inkling what being ¡°himself¡± entailed.


    But Xu Juan wasn¡¯t a sentimental person; Rather, he preferred if others were sentimental over him.


    Deciding to stay in the family home for now, Xu Juan went upstairs once Xu Jiren resumed work in the study, heading to rest in the bedroom.


    He washed up and laid in bed, opened up his Wechat and first scrolled through Tang Sisi¡¯s Moments.


    Tang Sisi was a typical refined lady. Her Wechat Moments was maintained just as prettily as herself. She posted photos of good food, selfies and scenery. Sometimes, she shared some art, literature and love songs. It was all heartwarming and pleasing, but none of the content was what Xu Juan wanted to see.


    Xu Juan started a private chat with Tang Sisi: ¡°Hi.¡±


    Tang Sisi replied immediately: ¡°Yes, Director Xu. What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Xu Juan said: ¡°I want to ask about some things, don¡¯t tell anyone.¡±


    Tang Sisi was surprised, but had a vague inkling: ¡°What things? Do they have to do with Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°Smart.¡± Xu Juan sent a smiley. ¡°What¡¯s he called, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°Pei Yu.¡±


    Without waiting for Xu Juan to ask his other questions, Tang Sisi took the initiative to answer: ¡°Twenty six, single, teaches Mandarin. He supposedly skipped many grades when he was in school and is an influential figure in Hong Uni. He stayed behind to hold a teaching position after graduation, it¡¯s his third year of work.¡±


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t surprised at how enthusiastic Tang Sisi was. He asked: ¡°Has he dated before?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Tang Sisi said, ¡°his ex-girlfriend is the daughter of our university¡¯s president. They dated for half a year, then broke up at the start of this year. It¡¯s said that the one who wanted to break up was her.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the reason?¡±


    ¡°No idea, but this is hot gossip within the school. The girls are saying it¡¯s because Pei laoshi is about as romantic as an iceberg and doesn¡¯t know how to coax a lady. Whenever they went on dates, it was also at the initiative of his ex. Even then, he may suddenly get busy and have no time to go. She must have been so hurt.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan looked at his phone and let out a little laugh: ¡°I heard university professors are quite idle. Is he especially busy?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. He¡¯s not your typical university professor.¡± Tang Sisi paused for a couple of seconds, then immediately sent over a whole chunk of text. It¡¯s not certain where she had copied it from, but the densely-packed information introduced Pei Yu¡¯s various accomplishments, awards and the projects he had participated in. Xu Juan skimmed through everything; He didn¡¯t even recognize the names of some of these awards, but it didn¡¯t matter, as long as he understood that Pei Yu was amazing.


    Tang Sisi said: ¡°Director Xu, are you really not interested in girls?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I am,¡± Xu Juan said.


    Tang Sisi hesitated slightly: ¡°Then, this afternoon, you said¡­¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t I specially say that for your Pei laoshi to hear?¡± Xu Juan said, suave, ¡°you just focus on your studies, don¡¯t let Pei Yu¡¯s hard work go to waste.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Tang Sisi remained quiet, probably discouraged. After a long while, she asked the obvious anyway: ¡°Why¡¯re you asking about these things? Have you really got your eye on our Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± Xu Juan was unperturbed, ¡°Is there anyone pursuing him in school?¡±


    Tang Sisi said: ¡°Yeah. Ever since he and his ex broke up, from the female teachers to the female students, the number of people pursuing him could form a line from Hong Uni¡¯s backgate to the southern bus stop.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s really no easy feat. That icy expression of his could freeze a person to death. He doesn¡¯t even accept gifts, if he finds out who the gift was from, they would definitely face disciplinary action. But who let him look so good? A hot guy like that with such good morals, the more he behaves like this, the harder it is to chase his admirers away. Aiya, whenever he shows up, he would be surrounded by an audience. He¡¯s basically our school¡¯s best scenery.¡±


    ¡°All right, I got it. Send me his Wechat,¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°let me get in touch with him.¡±


    Tang Sisi: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    But Tang Sisi obediently gave Pei Yu¡¯s Wechat details to Xu Juan.


    In truth, Tang Sisi wasn¡¯t friends with Pei Yu on Wechat, but she was in an official school group chat that Pei Yu was in too. So, she opened his contact details and directly sent it over to Xu Juan.


    Adding someone on Wechat wasn¡¯t difficult, Xu Juan wrote in his friend request note: ¡°Hello, Pei laoshi, I have something important to discuss with you. Is that all right?¡±


    He didn¡¯t mention who he was. Pei Yu probably assumed it was a serious matter and accepted him after a short while, asking him who he was.


    Xu Juan briefly introduced himself, saying: ¡°I apologize for troubling you, but I would like to follow up on the matter regarding Tang Sisi.¡±


    After sending this message, Pei Yu didn¡¯t reply for a long time.


    Xu Juan understood. He was already being this spontaneous, even a terribly ignorant person would have realized that something was off by now.


    Was it because he was a straight man and was oblivious in this aspect? For a moment, Xu Juan considered backing out, straight men were difficult to mess around with. But he thought about Pei Yu¡¯s face and felt the hesitation scatter in the wind.


    Finally, Pei Yu responded, and in fact wasn¡¯t as ignorant as he had expected: ¡°What exactly do you intend to get out of beating around the bush?¡±


    ¡°Nothing, really.¡± Xu Juan didn¡¯t send any voice messages, sticking with just text.


    Sometimes, text served a particular purpose better than voice messages. He continued: ¡°If I said, I fell in love with Pei laoshi at first sight, would you believe it?¡±


    This message didn¡¯t receive a reply for a long, long time.


    Xu Juan gave a lazy stretch in bed, unable to resist imagining the expression Pei Yu was currently wearing. The thought of a crack appearing in that perfect facade made the wicked interest in his heart blossom all the more.


    He had expected Pei Yu to scold him, but after quite some time passed, he still hadn¡¯t received any response.


    Xu Juan sent over a question mark. Sure enough, a red exclamation mark appeared on the screen: This user has enabled friend authentication, you are still not friends.


    Xu Juan laid on the bed and let out a laugh, deciding to personally go down to Hong Uni the next day. He would officially play this game by the book.

 CH 4

    Xu Juan did initially intend to look for Pei Yu at Hong Uni the next day, but some work kept him held up and he didn¡¯t get to go.


    In the end, this delay extended up to a week. On the tenth of August, he finally remembered Pei Yu. It would have been better if he didn¡¯t; Once he thought of Pei Yu, he dramatically had the impression that he was about to fall ill from pining, he needed to see his deity immediately.


    He abandoned the fiery red Ferrari he usually drove for a car that felt more lowkey and reliable. To match with his car, he even switched up his style; Before he headed out, he glimpsed himself in the mirror and felt he was basically a gentleman¡­ No, in better words, he should be the older gege-next-door, or the innocuous campus hottie. Whichever it was, he was definitely the sort that others would like.


    Xu Juan directly drove his car towards Hong Uni, but halfway there, he suddenly realized that something felt off. He sent Tang Sisi a belated text on Wechat, asking: ¡°Hey, has the semester started at your school yet?¡±


    ¡°Nope,¡± Tang Sisi said, ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Director Xu, are you looking for Pei laoshi? Then just go, he¡¯s at the faculty dorms. Apart from when he goes on business trips, he¡¯s in school all year round.¡±


    ¡°Got it, thanks.¡±


    Xu Juan transferred a sum of money to Tang Sisi. It wasn¡¯t a huge amount, but it just so happened to match the price of a lipstick brand that had been trending recently. Tang Sisi was a little hesitant and tried to refuse, but Xu Juan told her to accept it, it was for her to buy lipstick with. She then happily accepted it and sent Xu Juan a cute sticker in the chat to express her thanks.


    Cheerfully humming a tune, Xu Juan thought to himself, little girls like her were the easiest to coax. They believed themselves to be mature, but hadn¡¯t actually been exposed to the various aspects of society ¡ª they were really so foolish.


    Then who would be difficult to coax? To Xu Juan, such a person did not exist.


    As long as a person had weaknesses or preferences, he only had to figure out and poison these roots; There wasn¡¯t a beauty he couldn¡¯t seduce. Of course, the prerequisite was that Xu Juan¡¯s qualifications were good enough. Honestly, the majority didn¡¯t need him to do anything; Countless people wanted to plaster themselves to him every day.


    Hong Uni was quite a distance from his villa. Xu Juan drove for a long time, absentmindedly chatting with Tang Sisi.


    Tang Sisi said that when Pei Yu took her back the other day, he gave her a lecture. He was stern on the surface, but still let her go and didn¡¯t escalate the matter to the school. When he heard this, Xu Juan laughed: ¡°So your Pei laoshi has a sharp tongue but a soft heart, he¡¯s so easygoing.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t expecting that either.¡± Tang Sisi said, ¡°I thought that would be the end of me. Thank you, Pei laoshi. Pei laoshi truly is a person with both good looks and a kind heart.¡±


    This was something Xu Juan liked to hear. He laughed for a while, then kept his phone. He stopped the car at the front gate of Hong Uni, but didn¡¯t get off.


    Xu Juan was feeling somewhat hesitant.


    There were two routes he could take to pursue Pei Yu. The first would be to use unscrupulous methods to coerce the other into submission; The other was to take it slow, pursuing him with every passing day until this iceberg melted down. He had tried both ways before; The results varied between good and bad, but if he were to set the end goal as seducing them into bed, then he had succeeded every time, without a single failure. And of course, the other party was always willing, too.


    It might be due to recent events wearing him out, but he felt that the past few days passed by rather listlessly. Coincidentally, it would be his birthday in a few days and going by convention, it would be made into a big deal. However, he wasn¡¯t in the mood for it this year and was even feeling a little fed up about it.


    Why so?


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    Li Mengzhou liked him, and so was willing to bear the humiliation, not minding how Xu Juan chose to label their relationship.


    Xu Juan, too, never really liked Li Mengzhou. At least, it wasn¡¯t the sort of like in a dating sense.


    He truly hadn¡¯t dated in ages; He couldn¡¯t even recall who his last partner was.


    But then again, what exactly is love?


    Others¡¯ definitions of love might be alluring, but for someone like Xu Juan, the difference between dating and sponsorship depended solely on, if he were dating, then he would be more invested. He would be willing to experience the ups and downs of the process, to express jealousy at the appropriate times. But if he were to become unwilling someday, he would likewise be able to promptly withdraw.


    So, in Hou Shijie¡¯s words: ¡°There¡¯s no difference, they¡¯re all a scumbag¡¯s playthings.¡±


    They merely differed in gameplay.


    Hou Shijie didn¡¯t have the guts to say this to Xu Juan upfront, though, and Xu Juan shamelessly continued to have the impression that he himself had good intentions and was earnest.


    Thus, he decided he would seriously pursue Pei Yu for a while. He would work hard to let this budding relationship blossom into something substantial, so that the kindhearted Pei laoshi could bring warmth into the lonely atrium of his heart.


    Once Xu Juan sorted out his feelings, he finally got out of the car.


    Hong City University was ranked quite high among the country¡¯s higher learning institutions, and their liberal arts faculty was especially established.


    Xu Juan was very familiar with Hong Uni; It was his mother He Xiangzi¡¯s alma mater. He Xiangzi had been invited back to give speeches and Xu Juan had tagged along several times, so he could drive there with his eyes closed.


    But at most, he knew where the library was, and maybe the auditorium ¡ª that sort of information. If he were asked which building in the faculty dormitory Pei Yu was staying at, that exceeded his scope of awareness.


    But Xu Juan didn¡¯t feel any sense of urgency, nor did he ask anyone for help.


    He spent some time basking in the sun against the door of his car, then got back in and drove to the front gate. Since it was summer vacation, no one stopped him and he drove in without a hitch.


    Hong Uni was very big. The faculty dormitory was at the northern side, with decent surroundings. In actuality, it shouldn¡¯t be considered a part of university grounds, but management was strict and entry was only allowed through the school¡¯s front gate. Xu Juan wasn¡¯t familiar with the road, so he drove several rounds with the GPS navigation system before turning in.


    Although he did come to look for Pei Yu, it was his first time here, so he didn¡¯t have the intention of absolutely needing to see Pei Yu. On the contrary, it was more like scouting out a location before committing a crime ¡ª first, he would familiarize himself with Pei Yu¡¯s lifestyle and living environment. Then, he would be able to accurately position himself the next time and devise the perfect ¡°chance encounter¡±.


    Although he had low expectations, it seemed he had pretty good luck.


    He hadn¡¯t even stopped his car, he was just approaching the outside of the residential estate when he saw someone walk out the gate.


    That person was very tall and looked unbothered by the August sun, wearing conventional formal clothing. The shirt collar was tidy and clean, not one wrinkle to be found.


    While walking out the gate, he seemed to have met with bad news, gaze lowered to his wristwatch with a small frown. Xu Juan thought to himself, he¡¯s so captivating even when frowning, I have such impeccable taste.


    ¡°Pei laoshi?¡± Xu Juan rolled down the car window, feigning surprise, ¡°What a coincidence, we meet again.¡±


    Pei Yu was momentarily stunned, the expression frozen on his face for a couple of seconds; He was clearly deep in thought.


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t worried that the other didn¡¯t remember him; He had enough self-confidence to ensure that the people who¡¯d met him wouldn¡¯t forget him. Moreover, the incident from that day had been rather exciting, how could it be so easily forgotten? What could Pei Yu possibly be pondering over, then? He was probably recalling the matter of deleting him from Wechat.


    Xu Juan gave a small smile. Since Pei Yu wasn¡¯t saying anything, he¡¯ll take matters into his own hands.


    He packed away his usual frivolous attitude and assumed a deadly serious front: ¡°I had some business to attend to at Hong Uni, I never expected to see you. Is Pei laoshi staying here? Then this is really such a coincidence.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Due to his good upbringing, Pei Yu didn¡¯t want to put the other in an awkward spot and gave a perfunctory response. However, he didn¡¯t want to engage in deeper conversation with him either, so he prepared to leave.


    Xu Juan immediately got out of the car and blocked Pei Yu¡¯s way. Keeping his expression in check, he let slip a smile that could be considered sheepish. He lowered his head and rubbed at his nose, taking on an innocent tone: ¡°Ahem, actually on Wechat the other day, I was making a joke. I didn¡¯t get the opportunity to explain myself before Pei laoshi deleted me, it¡¯s too awkward¡­¡±


    Pei Yu watched him pointedly.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°I was in the wrong. Since we¡¯re not familiar with each other, how could I just make inappropriate jokes like that? I apologize.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± The corner of Pei Yu¡¯s lips twitched and he plastered on a short, fake smile. ¡°I have something to attend to, so I¡¯ll be going first. Goodbye, Director Xu.¡±


    ¡°Goodbye.¡± Xu Juan stayed calm and didn¡¯t try finding an excuse to hold him back. Coming on too strong would make things seem intentional.


    Unexpectedly, Pei Yu didn¡¯t walk far, and remained standing at the side of the road.


    Xu Juan understood at the first glance; He was most likely waiting for his ride. Wow, this was indeed one destitute intellectual. From what Tang Sisi had sent, he had won numerous awards and participated in quite a few projects. Logically speaking, he shouldn¡¯t be lacking in his finances?  So why didn¡¯t he buy even a car? Having to rely on hailing a ride whenever he had somewhere to go was way too inconvenient.


    But time that Pei Yu spent waiting for his ride, was time that Xu Juan could use to set his plan in motion.


    Xu Juan¡¯s acting was exceedingly realistic; He made some conversation with the guard at the entrance of the residential estate, pretending to ask about the whereabouts of someone he was looking for. After receiving the news, he made a disappointed face, pulled the car door open and got in.


    Xu Juan turned his car around, and when he drove back out, passed right by Pei Yu¡¯s side. The ride Pei Yu was waiting for still hadn¡¯t arrived and he had his head down as he looked at his phone. It looked as if the driver had cancelled on him, or as if he was about to cancel his ride.


    Deliberately, Xu Juan drove past, then reversed to stop in front of him. He lowered the window, feigning benevolence: ¡°Where does Pei laoshi want to go? If we¡¯re headed in the same direction, I¡¯ll give you a ride.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no need, thank you.¡± Pei Yu was clearly trying to keep a respectable distance from him, and replied without a moment¡¯s hesitation.


    This made Xu Juan laugh: ¡°Need you go to this extent? Am I that terrifying, Pei laoshi? You¡¯re not a little girl, so why are you afraid that I¡¯ll plunder you of wealth and body?¡±


    Pei Yu remained silent, sizing him up with an icy gaze. Though frosty, those eyes were really beautiful; The chill ran crystal clear, like a cold, deep pool.


    Xu Juan¡¯s heartbeat was in chaos, he felt that the weather was making him increasingly parched. Pei Yu truly deserved the recognition as a human iceberg, undaunted by the heat.


    Since he didn¡¯t say anything for a long time, Xu Juan decided to first retreat and continue another time: ¡°All right then, I¡¯m leaving. See you again, Pei laoshi.¡±


    While he restarted his car engine, Pei Yu finally lowered his guard and opened the door, getting into the passenger seat: ¡°I¡¯m going to Qingjing Gallery. If it¡¯s out of your way, you can just drop me off at the subway entrance further in front, thank you.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Xu Juan loosened his collar and felt he deserved a perfect score for his performance today. He thought to himself, this has been quite a breeze. Indeed, the ones who appeared untouchable are all paper tigers. Innocent with a low line of defence, how adorable.


    ¡°Your seatbelt.¡± He gave Pei Yu a smile.

 CH 5

    As the saying goes, there was no mountain blossom that couldn¡¯t be picked, only scumbags who didn¡¯t work hard.


    Whenever his scoundrel friends ridiculed him for not changing his jerk behaviour, Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help but retort: ¡°Do you know just how hard I work!¡±


    It wasn¡¯t a joke; Xu Juan truly did work hard.


    Just like how at this moment, though Pei Yu was in his passenger seat, he didn¡¯t even give Xu Juan a single glance from the corner of his eye. The other was clearly sitting in his car, and yet still treated him like air.


    Xu Juan knew that in such circumstances, one shouldn¡¯t randomly make conversation. Every individual was different; Some were chatty, others were naturally taciturn and felt that having to make awkward conversation with someone unfamiliar was a social burden. Xu Juan didn¡¯t want to add to Pei Yu¡¯s burdens. He knew very well that if he wanted to gain Pei Yu¡¯s favour, it was important that Pei Yu felt comfortable being around him, and that he didn¡¯t reject his company.


    But this opportunity hadn¡¯t been easy to seize, he couldn¡¯t completely prioritize Pei Yu¡¯s comfort. If he didn¡¯t even get to chat a little, how would progress be made?


    As such, picking the correct topic of conversation at this point was crucial.


    Xu Juan gave it some thought. His first instinct was to adapt to the other¡¯s interests and bring up a couple verses of poems for discussion. After all, Pei Yu was a mandarin teacher, and it was said he had absolute mastery over Chinese culture. He was the real deal who had even published a book and was praised as a gifted scholar ¨C¨C He had seen this in the introduction that Tang Sisi copied over.


    But this was exactly it, how would he dare to put on airs in front of a professional? The slightest mistake would reveal his ignorance. Moreover, Pei Yu was merely hitching a ride from him, to suddenly drag the other into such a discussion, it would really be too pretentious of him.


    Xu Juan quickly went through a few ideas in his head, but none of this showed on his face.


    He followed the GPS and made a turn at a bend, pretending to be making an unconscious remark: ¡°Is there an event happening at Qingjing Gallery today? The road is so jammed.¡±


    Qingjing Gallery was a themed bookstore. Although it was called a bookstore, based on its function, it was more like a large-scale activity centre for literature and the arts. Well-known writers and manhua artists would often hold autograph sessions. There would also be celebrities or other bigshots in the arts and literature scene who would hold fan meetings here; It was very happening.


    ¡°The surroundings are all blocked.¡± Xu Juan said, looking at the GPS map, ¡°It might not be possible to drive over too soon. Pei laoshi, are you in a hurry?¡±


    Pei Yu glanced down to look at the time: ¡°No.¡± Then, he added, ¡°Director Xu need not specially send me. If you have other things to attend to, go ahead. I can just alight here.¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m heading back to the company, it¡¯s in the Huainan Road area, so it¡¯s on the way.¡± With just words, Xu Juan had relocated his entire company. He wanted to know what Pei Yu was going to Qingjing Gallery for, indirectly probing, ¡°Previously, a popular online bestselling author had an autograph session here. Even then, the traffic jam wasn¡¯t so bad. What kind of event is happening today, for things to be this excessive?¡±


    Pei Yu also seemed a little confused, saying with some uncertainty: ¡°Mr He Mingshu is giving a lecture at Qingjing Gallery today. He is indeed very popular, but¡­¡±


    But He Mingshu was a strict writer of literature, he was very traditional and was already over eighty this year. His books sold well, but a serious writer such as him was different from a celebrity in the entertainment circle; He simply did not have enough appeal to command such a huge audience. Looking at the situation, if one were unaware, they would probably think that some singer had come to hold a concert.


    Xu Juan understood what he was implying.


    But Xu Juan was distracted. He suddenly realized that although Pei Yu was alluring while indifferent, he was even more alluring when he showed emotion. It was clearly just a small change in his expression, but when it appeared on Pei Yu¡¯s face, it was as if his cold features had been streaked over with vivid colours. It was so attractive that he couldn¡¯t look away.


    This was just the beginning, Xu Juan thought restlessly. Next time, he would definitely have Pei Yu show him even more expressions, especially the kind where he was on the brink of self-restraint¡­ If he continued along that line of thought, it would be too vulgar, so Xu Juan coughed lightly to cover it up: ¡°I¡¯ll look into it.¡±


    He sent a message to his secretary, enquiring about the Qingjing Gallery situation.


    Who knew that it would¡¯ve been better if he had never asked. Once asked, there really was a problem. The secretary Xiao Lin said: ¡°There aren¡¯t any big events happening at Qingjing Gallery. The people on the road are headed next door ¨C¨C Li Mengzhou is holding a fan meeting at the commercial building beside it.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan lapsed into momentary silence, and the secretary cautiously said: ¡°Director Xu, Li Mengzhou has called me several times. He said he wants to meet with you to talk in person.¡±


    ¡°Talk about what? I¡¯m very busy.¡± Xu Juan was apathetic, ¡°You¡¯ve been working with me for so long, surely you don¡¯t need me to teach you how to handle this?¡±


    The secretary responded directly and concisely with ¡°Understood¡±, and hung up.


    This brief interlude was hardly worth a mention, but Xu Juan was initially in a good mood. With the abrupt involvement of Li Mengzhou, he was immediately irritable.


    He changed lovers the way he changed his clothes, and had always ended the relationships amicably. To suddenly have to deal with such a clingy person, although it didn¡¯t affect him much as a whole, it still made him disgruntled.


    Xu Juan redirected his attention back to Pei Yu, but when he turned to look at the other, he noticed that Pei Yu was also looking at him.


    This was too unexpected. Xu Juan was momentarily dazed, the remnant annoyance on his face still present. For him to attempt the ¡°Sichuan Opera face change¡± was still too difficult, so he took his chances and let slip a look of distress, blurting: ¡°Some problems arose at work.¡±


    Pei Yu nodded and didn¡¯t reply. He didn¡¯t seem like he had any desire to chat, no matter the topic.


    This behaviour was easy to interpret: He was not interested in him.


    Xu Juan did not take offence and put his phone down. At this moment, the cars in front that were stuck in traffic started to move. He slowly inched the car forward and finally managed to send Pei Yu to the entrance of Qingjing Gallery.


    Pei Yu was here to listen to the lecture.


    Xu Juan wanted to go inside with him, but there wasn¡¯t a good excuse he could use, so he could only abandon the thought.


    Before they parted, after Pei Yu got out of the car, Xu Juan called out to him from behind the window: ¡°Since I¡¯ve already apologized, could you add me back on Wechat, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    As the proverb goes, when one has received the benefits of another, they would be more likely to return a favour. Pei Yu was probably considering how since Xu Juan had given him a lift, he should at least be civil towards him. So, he didn¡¯t refuse.


    Xu Juan scanned the QR code and successfully wormed into Pei Yu¡¯s friend list.


    This was his second encounter with Pei Yu.


    Xu Juan hadn¡¯t expected the third encounter to happen sooner than he had imagined.


    ¨C¨C It happened that same day.


    After he had left Qingjing Gallery earlier in the day, he had headed for his appointment with Guo Shao. The group of them played billiards all afternoon and naturally went for a meal in the evening. The location was at the most reputable restaurant in the city centre, called Yuming.


    Xu Juan¡¯s birthday was on the 10th of September. It didn¡¯t use to be a big deal, but now that everyone knew the person he recently set his sights on was a university professor, the bunch of them teased him over his birthdate falling on Teacher¡¯s Day. They called it fate, so why not their Director Xu take it seriously and grab a hold of this destined marriage? He should take care of this major life event so Chairman Xu would stop berating him every day. How exhausting.


    Since Xu Juan was in a good mood, he played along: ¡°Forget it. This will be my twenty sixth birthday, not my thirty sixth. What are you all rushing me for, just like my second aunt.¡±


    Everyone burst into laughter.


    At this moment, Xu Juan¡¯s phone vibrated. It was actually a message from Li Mengzhou¨C¨C


    ¡°Xu ge, I know you¡¯re at Yuming Restaurant. I¡¯m outside, can you come out for a little while?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Purely due to his bad memory, Xu Juan had forgotten to block Li Mengzhou. He had initially expected that after one warning, the other would at most dare to contact Xiao Lin and wouldn¡¯t have the guts to harass him. It seems he had underestimated him.


    Xu Juan fiddled with his phone and leaned against the back of the chair, replying: ¡°No, I don¡¯t want to be photographed by the paparazzi.¡±


    Li Mengzhou said: ¡°I¡¯m very careful, there won¡¯t be any paparazzi.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Juan realized that this brat was somewhat dim-witted, so he had to be more straightforward, ¡°Still don¡¯t get it? I¡¯ve already made myself quite clear¨C¨C It¡¯s over. Our sponsor relationship is over. I¡¯ve transferred a sum of money to your account, don¡¯t look for me again in the future. I¡¯ll say this for the last time. My patience is limited. Don¡¯t bother me.¡±


    The phrase fuck and dump was absolutely referring to Xu Juan.


    But so was the saying that scumbags belonged with cheap women and men. He was already being this brazen of a jerk, not showing Li Mengzhou the slightest bit of respect. Yet, Li Mengzhou continued to be obstinate and insisted on seeing him, as if he would immediately die if he didn¡¯t.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t stand this kind of love saint the most. He grabbed his phone and left the private room, taking the elevator down. Once he went out to stand in front of the restaurant, he caught sight of Li Mengzhou who was decked in sunglasses and a mask.


    ¡°Xu ge!¡± It was as if Li Mengzhou was afraid the other wouldn¡¯t spot him, immediately throwing himself in his direction, intending to hug him.


    Xu Juan avoided him and stood to the side, voice cold: ¡°What do you want to see me for? Does it feel better to be rejected by me in person?¡±


    In the night, the neon lights flickered; The city centre was bustling with activity.


    They stood under a single streetlamp. Xu Juan¡¯s sharp and distinct features were reflected in Li Mengzhou¡¯s eyes; They looked both unfeeling and unfamiliar.


    Likewise, Xu Juan, too, felt that the other was unfamiliar.


    Time-wise, the both of them were together for two to three months. Li Mengzhou wasn¡¯t an actor, nor was he a proper singer. He was a popular idol who relied on his face to make a living. In the beginning, it was his face that Xu Juan took a fancy to ¨C¨C more accurately, it was his external appearance.


    ¡°External appearance¡± comprised a lot: Looks, figure, personality ¨C¨C these were all included.


    What Xu Juan liked the most, was actually his personality.


    How should this be said? At first, Xu Juan and he were very happy together. What he revealed in front of Xu Juan was his most charming side: Adorable, confident, dazzling. Xu Juan liked him and was willing to indulge him, throwing money on his behalf.


    But after the two were together for a while, the ambience changed.


    Li Mengzhou started to become cautious and worried over everything. He carefully tried to win Xu Juan¡¯s favour, and as long as Xu Juan wasn¡¯t with him, he would indirectly ask around for Xu Juan¡¯s whereabouts. He was always scheming, squandering his confidence away until he was no longer adorable, instead resembling a resentful spinster.


    Therefore, even if there hadn¡¯t been an incident that morning, Xu Juan wouldn¡¯t have lasted too long. He would have dumped him in due time.


    This sort of phenomenon was truly baffling.


    It didn¡¯t matter if they were dating Xu Juan or if they were his lover, almost every ex was like this. After being with his partner for some time, he would start to feel that the person beside him was no longer the one who had moved his heart at the start.


    Why did things change?


    Xu Juan thought to himself, since you¡¯ve changed, why can¡¯t I have a change of heart? Don¡¯t tell me it¡¯s my fault?


    So he changed lovers, again and again.


    ¡°I¡¯ve already said all there is to be said. You don¡¯t understand human language?¡±


    Even though he saw that Li Mengzhou was nearly in tears, Xu Juan didn¡¯t let up. This showed that Xu Juan still had a shred of humanity left and was unwilling to string him along. Making sure he gave up on him as soon as possible was the most merciful method.


    Li Mengzhou could no longer hold it in, his tears streaming down.


    Xu Juan suppressed the protectiveness in his heart and took out two hundred yuan from his wallet. He stuffed it into the other¡¯s hand and said apathetically: ¡°For you to take a taxi. Go, and don¡¯t bother me anymore.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Li Mengzhou didn¡¯t counter. He held onto his sunglasses with one hand while wiping at his tears with the other: ¡°Okay, I understand. Thank you, Director Xu, goodbye.¡±


    Xu Juan nodded and watched him leave.


    Even after his silhouette disappeared, Xu Juan stayed standing where he was. He let out a soft sigh. The feeling that he had felt that morning, of being fed up with life, suddenly emerged again.


    It was truly boring.


    No matter how many times he changed his partners, it seemed humans were all the same. Why was this so? Xu Juan sincerely reflected in his heart: Could it really be my fault?


    He remained lost in thought for a while, then turned around, intending to go back and resume his meal with Guo Shao, Hou Shijie and the rest.


    However, the moment he turned around, he saw Pei Yu.


    Pei Yu was with five or six middle-aged to elderly people, and they were currently walking out of a restaurant. Those people looked a little familiar, Xu Juan spent some effort identifying them; One of the elderly men was He Mingshu.


    So it turned out that Pei Yu hadn¡¯t gone to Qingjing Gallery solely for the purpose of listening to a lecture, he actually knew He Mingshu.


    Then it was easy to assume that the other few people were definitely from the same social circle, they were all reputable intellectuals in literature.


    Xu Juan, a rich son in high society, knew his place and watched them from afar, making no attempts to join in.


    Only after several cars in front of the restaurant had driven away one after another and Pei Yu had sent off all the elders, when he was standing at the roadside alone about to hail a ride, Xu Juan walked over.


    ¡°Pei laoshi.¡± Xu Juan pursed his lips and smiled, ¡°Should I say that this is too much of a coincidence? It seems there are many coincidences, it really is quite awkward.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu turned his gaze over to him; The look in his eyes was subtle but heavy with meaning.


    Xu Juan felt the other was doubtful of him, but the Heavens were kind. The last time, it was him who had deliberately staged a coincidence, but this time it was an honest coincidence. It really has nothing to do with him!


    Unfortunately, the coincidence had already happened. Even if it were the Heavens that personally devised it, from Pei Yu¡¯s perspective, it was Xu Juan who had ulterior motives.


    Pei Yu seemed to have drunk quite a bit. When Xu Juan walked closer, he detected the faint scent of alcohol from his body.


    While intoxicated, a person¡¯s temperament became more straightforward than usual. Pei Yu looked displeased, his chin lifting slightly as he said, his words blunt: ¡°Director Xu, I¡¯ll be frank with you. I don¡¯t discriminate against gays, but I am not gay. Do you understand?¡±


    ¡°I do, I do.¡± Xu Juan very self-righteously moved to support him, ¡°Pei laoshi, you drank quite a bit, didn¡¯t you? Whoa, careful there!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t wobble at all, but after Xu Juan swayed him back and forth a few times, since he had indeed been drinking a lot, even though he was initially fine, the shaking made him dizzy. He was no longer sure if he was drunk, or if it was induced by the other.


    Xu Juan struck while the iron was hot: ¡°You drank so much, it¡¯s not safe to be by yourself. I¡¯ll send you home.¡±


    After he said that, he blindly flagged down a taxi and without delay, stuffed Pei Yu into the backseat. Then, he too got in with him.

 CH 6

    Succumbing to lust under the influence of alcohol was a ploy commonly used, but everyone worked differently. All matters should be handled the right way. For a person like Pei Yu, if Xu Juan tricked him into sleeping with him tonight, then once Pei Yu awoke sober the next day, it would no longer be possible for him to continue his pursuit.


    As much as Xu Juan wanted to sleep with Pei Yu, he wasn¡¯t horny to the point where his mind was muddled.


    Since he had the intention of dating, how awful would it be if he forced himself on him while the other was vulnerable.


    ¡°Pei laoshi, are you feeling dizzy?¡± Just a few minutes ago, Xu Juan¡¯s face had been icy while he was being fierce to Li Mengzhou, but right now his voice was exceedingly gentle and tender. He let Pei Yu rest against the seat, cautiously embracing him. ¡°If you¡¯re dizzy, just take a nap. Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll wake you once we arrive.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Even if Pei Yu weren¡¯t drunk, he was dizzy from being tormented by him. When he looked over, his gaze was full of accusation.


    But the taxi they were sitting in was very dimly-lit, allowing Xu Juan plenty of opportunity to play blind. He leaned closer to Pei Yu and feigned seriousness: ¡°The elderly man who had dinner with you earlier, was that Mr He Mingshu? I thought you were his fan, turns out the two of you are so close.¡±


    Pei Yu said: ¡°He¡¯s my aunt¡¯s husband.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    That¡¯s quite the age difference, how old is your aunt exactly?


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t brazen enough to gossip about someone else¡¯s interpersonal relationships. He merely let out a quiet laugh, smoothing over: ¡°What a coincidence, we really are fated. When I was younger, I visited Mr He¡¯s residence quite a few times, because my calligraphy teacher then was good friends with him, and often brought me along. Perhaps we¡¯ve even met as kids.¡±


    This sentence was half false and half true. The first half was true, but the second half was solely based on his imagination, wanting to create some sort of affinity between them.


    However, Pei Yu was a little surprised: ¡°You¡¯ve learnt calligraphy? Who was your teacher?¡±


    ¡°Gejc Wlsejc.¡± We Aejc ujnf j cjwf.


    Ufl Te ibbxfv fnfc wbgf regqglrfv. We Aejc geyyfv ja tlr cbrf, beakjgvis jqqfjglcu rfio-vfqgfmjalnf, yea gfjiis tf kjr offilcu jkxkjgv lcrlvf.


    Pa kjr atf ageat atja Gejc Wlsejc kjr tlr afjmtfg.


    Djmx atfc, We Aejc¡¯r wbatfg Zjvjw Lf Wljcuhl kjr wjv jybea mjiilugjqts. Vtf vlvc¡¯a ifjgc la tfgrfio, yea tjv tfg rbc ifjgc lcrafjv. Kter, We Aejc kjr obgmfv ab ajxf eq jcbatfg rfa bo mijrrfr. Lbkfnfg, ktlif batfgr kbeiv rlwqis rluc eq obg mjiilugjqts mijrrfr, Lf Wljcuhl kjr fzagfwfis rfglber jybea la, qeiilcu jii xlcvr bo raglcur jcv frajyilrtlcu mbccfmalbcr rb We Aejc mbeiv raevs ecvfg j wjrafg bo mjiilugjqts. Ktlr wjrafg kjr Gejc Wlsejc.


    Duan Xiyuan was not only recognized for his calligraphy, he was also well-established in traditional Chinese painting. Xu Juan studied under him for many years and could be considered a formal disciple.


    But Xu Juan had no interest in these things. Ever since he decided to ¡°courageously be true to himself¡± after his twentieth birthday, he hadn¡¯t properly practised his calligraphy or painting.


    When Duan Xiyuan saw what a lost cause he had become, he was furious and had him scram, breaking off their master-disciple relationship.


    As such, Xu Juan did not usually mention this matter to outsiders, afraid of embarrassing his teacher.


    Now, since he wanted to get close to Pei Yu and had no other common ground, he could only thicken his skin and bring up his ¡°past achievements¡±.


    Pei Yu fell into his trap; Knowing that he wasn¡¯t from just any ordinary family, he didn¡¯t suspect that the other was bragging.


    Pei Yu said: ¡°I really like Mr Duan¡¯s calligraphy. What percentage of his ability has Director Xu mastered?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Juan laughed, thinking to himself, probably not even a tenth of it. But this was such a great opportunity, how could he just let it go? So, he feigned ignorance and gloated: ¡°Not too bad, it¡¯s at least passable. Does Pei laoshi want to personally witness my calligraphy? Do you have the four treasures of the study at home?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡± Pei Yu was truly very pure. Once the topic of conversation involved his interest, he soon forgot about Xu Juan¡¯s ¡°ulterior motives¡± and even willingly invited this yellow weasel into his home.


    The more Xu Juan looked at him, the more adorable he seemed. How could he be considered an iceberg? This was clearly the naive Xiaolongn¨¹!


    Sigh, he was so easily deceived. He wanted to directly wrap the other up in his embrace and kiss him.


    But to lack tolerance for small matters would mess things up as a whole, so Xu Juan obediently withdrew his hand from the backseat and sat upright, pretending to be embarrassed: ¡°If I were to do a bad job later, Pei laoshi, you can¡¯t laugh at me, okay?¡±


    Pei Yu said he wouldn¡¯t: ¡°Director Xu is too modest. How could a disciple of Mr Duan do a bad job?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan¡¯s conscience prickled at the comment. Pei Yu was clearly being serious; He held so much anticipation, it would be awkward if he did mess up.


    To be honest, when Xu Juan was being a pretentious prick in the past, he had also shown off his calligraphy skills quite often. However, those people were all amateurs and were only there to join in on the excitement. Their only responsibility was to shout ¡°666¡± at him.


    He was uncertain if Pei Yu was a true connoisseur. Hopefully, he was just an ordinary calligraphy enthusiast and didn¡¯t know the technicalities.


    But then again, even if he understood the specifics, to what extent could he possibly know them? At the very least, he had properly learnt it for many years; A well-known person handheld him and taught him from young. Even if he had become out of practice in recent years, he still had more than enough in him to fool Pei Yu.


    Xu Juan regained his confidence and his mood became more relaxed. The entire way, he accompanied Pei Yu in idle chatter, from calligraphy to traditional Chinese painting. All of these were within Xu Juan¡¯s domain, so he could talk about them. Pei Yu¡¯s impression of him distinctly improved, when they got out of the taxi, there was even a trace of a smile on his lips.


    If his memory served him right, this was the first time he smiled at Xu Juan.


    Xu Juan was so dazzled by his smile he felt dizzy, suddenly feeling that he was the one who had been drinking. Why else would he feel this tipsy?


    At this time, it was already past nine.


    The driver stopped the car outside the gates of Hong Uni¡¯s faculty dormitory. Xu Juan paid the fare, then followed Pei Yu into the residential estate.


    Entering the building, taking the elevator, opening the door: All these took no longer than a few minutes.


    When the door closed, Xu Juan was in disbelief ¨C¨C


    He had actually managed to progress from the main hall into the inner chambers this effortlessly. The mountain blossom that he had initially thought unattainable was so easily obtained, was tonight a reality?

 CH 7

    Pei Yu¡¯s home was exactly as Xu Juan imagined; Clean and tidy, the decorations were detailed and refined, full of sentimental appeal ¨C¨C as beautiful as its owner.


    Xu Juan changed his shoes at the door. When he entered the living area, he noticed a refreshing fragrance. He sniffed a little, identifying the scent of jasmine and fruits.


    It was indeed tasteful. Xu Juan thought to himself that it was already pretty impressive for a straight man living alone to maintain cleanliness in his home. There was even a fruit platter and fresh flower arrangements on Pei Yu¡¯s coffee table. For a person as busy as him, his quality of life was incredibly high. Then, was Pei laoshi really a straight man?


    To put it this way may seem like he was stereotyping the majority of straight men, but based on Xu Juan¡¯s twenty six years of life experience, he has really never seen such a meticulous straight man. Most of them tossed their stinky socks all over the place. After all, since they lived alone, if they could save themselves any sort of inconvenience, then they would save it.


    To be honest, Xu Juan still held onto a vague hunch that Pei Yu wasn¡¯t necessarily straight.


    According to Tang Sisi, Pei laoshi was the representative of reserved and self-restraint. He appeared to be an iceberg that could not be scaled; Even with a crowd of girls pursuing him, with countless people throwing themselves into his arms, he remained unmoved. Even back when he was dating his ex-girlfriend, he was unromantic and unenthusiastic about going on dates, just like a block of wood.


    Was there really such a pure-hearted and ascetic man in this world?


    As a man himself, Xu Juan firmly believed that there wasn¡¯t.


    All men were creatures who thought with their lower halves. The only distinction lay in who had the ability to move them into action.


    Take Xu Juan for example, he had never struggled to come to terms with his sexuality. He was truly an open-minded person, the model representative of ¡°face-sexual¡±. It didn¡¯t matter if they were men or women, as long as they were beautiful, he liked them. As it was, life was bitter and short, one should just be happy. Why adhere to doctrines defining the relationships between men and women? Whether they were human or demon didn¡¯t matter, either.


    But judging from Pei Yu¡¯s family background, upbringing and chosen career, he was obviously a relatively traditional person. Being traditional wasn¡¯t a bad thing, but traditional men were usually more rigid and inflexible in their thinking. Should there be no one to enlighten him, even if Pei Yu naturally liked men, he wouldn¡¯t have come to that conclusion.


    Of course, this was one-sided speculation on Xu Juan¡¯s end, verification was still needed to confirm if it were true or false.


    It wasn¡¯t difficult to get confirmation either. Xu Juan wasn¡¯t opposed to hard work, voluntarily taking on the responsibility of ¡°enlightening¡± Pei laoshi.


    ¡°Sit down. Do you want anything to drink?¡± While Xu Juan was letting his imagination run wild, Pei Yu took off his suit jacket and hung it up, pointing to the sofa.


    Xu Juan sat down: ¡°No need to trouble yourself.¡±


    Despite that, Pei Yu still courteously boiled water and made him tea. Xu Juan¡¯s eye twitched as he watched him; His tendency to overdo things was literally like his father¡¯s, what prudish and uptight behaviour. What was so good about drinking tea? Especially on a summer¡¯s day like this, wasn¡¯t it too warm?


    But liking someone means accepting all of him, including his shortcomings, Xu Juan consoled himself while sipping tea and stealing glances at Pei Yu from the corners of his eyes.


    Pei Yu seemed to have sobered up a little, no longer as muddled as he was earlier. After he finished his tea, he took the initiative and led the other into the study.


    Although it was called a study, it was actually one of the rooms in the two-bedroom and one-hall apartment. There were a lot of books, two rows on the shelves were crammed full, with a few stacks of books placed atop the cabinet. Xu Juan quickly scanned the room and noticed there were layers and layers of sticky tabs pressed between the pages of those books, probably used to bookmark reading insights. It could be ascertained that the owner was very serious about reading.


    There was a large desk in front of the bookshelf, and the four treasures of the study indeed sat on top of it.


    Xu Juan walked closer for a look. On the desk was a piece of calligraphy paper, copied on it was Wang Xizhi¡¯s ¡°Preface to the Poems Composed at the Orchid Pavilion¡±. The script was unexpectedly quite good, surprising Xu Juan a little. However, he could discern Pei Yu¡¯s calligraphy skills at a glance, coming to a conclusion in his heart.


    Pei Yu peered at him and helped to set up the ink and brush: ¡°Director Xu, give it a try?¡±


    Xu Juan looked down with a smile, then walked behind the desk and rolled his shirtsleeves up, accepting the brush.


    How did that saying go? The men who did things sincerely were the most charming.


    Rba bcis kjr We Aejc jvfqa ja gfjvlcu jcbatfg¡¯r ybvs ijcuejuf, ab vfafgwlcf atf offilcur bo ktbfnfg tf kjr qegrelcu ogbw atflg yftjnlbeg, tf kjr fnfc wbgf jvfqa ja fzqgfrrlcu tlwrfio.


    Pa kjrc¡¯a fjrs ab yf j qijsybs. Tbe cffvfv j tlut SH, rb sbe mbeiv mbjz batfgr klat rkffa cbatlcur. Ktja kjr pera atf tjio bo la; Ktf batfg tjio, sbe cffvfv ab xcbk tbk ab yf mtjglrwjalm ja atf gluta alwf, ifaalcu atf batfg qjgas ifjgc bo atf wbwfcar lc ktlmt sbe kfgf wbra vjhhilcu, rb atfs mbeivc¡¯a tfiq yea yfmbwf lcojaejafv klat sbe.


    But it shouldn¡¯t be too deliberate, lest it turned out greasy. It was important to know the limits. That¡¯s to say, the so-called ¡°a beauty is most mesmerizing while they are unaware of how alluring they are¡±.


    Yet, how could it be possible for Xu Juan to be unaware of his fortes?


    He was just good at feigning ignorance. In short: acting innocent.


    So, Xu Juan lowered his head, smoothed his left hand over the paper, and began to write.


    ¡°Preface to the Poems Composed at the Orchid Pavilion¡± was praised as the ¡°ultimate masterpiece in Chinese calligraphy¡±. Back then, while he was still studying calligraphy under Duan Xiyuan, he had copied it countless times. When he was young, he had also repeatedly performed this for the various aunties and uncles. He had written ¡°Ninth year of Yonghe¡± so many times that he found it sickening.


    He hadn¡¯t expected for it to now become the trump card in his pursuit of Pei Yu.


    Xu Juan wrote attentively, Pei Yu also watched attentively.


    Xu Juan¡¯s calligraphic style was similar to Duan Xiyuan¡¯s. Duan Xiyuan had a copy of ¡°Preface to the Poems Composed at the Orchid Pavilion¡±, it was one generally acknowledged as the best contemporary copy. Although Xu Juan could not surpass that script, he at least managed to attain a certain percentage of its brilliance.


    Comparison with his teacher aside, since Xu Juan had professionally studied calligraphy before, he had written it a lot better than the copy by Pei Yu.


    To say that it was good did not depend solely on the difference in their fundamentals. Pei Yu¡¯s calligraphy was very strict and controlled, seeking ¡°likeness¡±. Of course, the likeness of his script was good, but practising calligraphy was not the same as printing an exact copy. No matter how alike the script was, could it encompass the same vigour as Wang Xizhi¡¯s?


    To borrow the words Duan Xiyuan used when teaching Xu Juan: A majority of the ones who sought to attain a high degree of likeness were beginners. Although the form of the script was important, a master should not only prioritize the form. ¡°Intention¡± should triumph over ¡°form¡±.


    The entire piece consisted of over three hundred characters. Xu Juan set the brush down once he had finished writing.


    He turned to look at Pei Yu, but Pei Yu wasn¡¯t looking at him. The pair of eyes that stirred his heart was staring at his calligraphy, it was clear he was stunned.


    Xu Juan¡¯s heart was fluttering, but he still feigned ignorance, putting on a show of modesty: ¡°Did I do okay, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu looked up, finally meeting his eyes with a serious gaze.


    This gaze was full of intent and different from how he had looked at him all those previous times. Xu Juan understood; Pei Yu was finally regarding him as a person, and not just ¡°that talentless and underhanded son of a rich family¡±.


    Xu Juan glanced down with a small smile, his gaze falling upon his own hands.


    His fingers were stained with ink, the familiar smell of it evoking some sort of nostalgia ¨C¨C How many years has it been since he had so earnestly done calligraphy? To exert his best effort without the slightest intention of going through the motions, although his motivation for it was not the most decent.


    ¡°It¡¯s so well written.¡± Pei Yu suddenly said, ¡°With Director Xu¡¯s level of mastery, I can¡¯t possibly be so shameless as to give comments.¡±


    ¡°You flatter me.¡±


    Xu Juan was feeling a little warm and instinctively wanted to loosen his collar, but absent-mindedly recalled that the ink on his fingers had yet to dry, so he withdrew his half-lifted hand: ¡°Could I borrow your washroom for a bit, Pei laoshi?¡±


    Pei Yu agreed and brought him out of the study, then walked him to the door of the washroom.


    Xu Juan pushed the door open himself and went in.


    Washing one¡¯s hands shouldn¡¯t take too long, but Xu Juan took his time, plotting something else in his heart.


    He thought, what should he do so he could stay over tonight? Since he was already here, he should strike while the iron was hot and enlighten Pei Yu on his sexuality. He definitely hadn¡¯t come here just as a fellow calligraphy enthusiast.


    The cold water continued to flow as Xu Juan¡¯s hands soaked in the sink.


    He contemplated for about two seconds, then lifted his hands and rubbed the remnants of the ink against his shirt. The shirt he had on tonight was white. As the water and ink bloomed over the fabric, they created a very striking visual effect.


    Xu Juan called out: ¡°Pei laoshi, where do you keep the laundry detergent in your house?¡±


    Pei Yu had no inkling of what happened, pulling the door open to ask him: ¡°What¡¯s the matter, why do you need laundry detergent?¡±


    ¡°I accidentally got stains on my clothes.¡± Xu Juan said innocently, ¡°It¡¯ll be harder to wash off once it dries. Let me borrow some laundry detergent?¡±


    Once said, he leaned closer to the sink. He tugged at the front of his ink-stained shirt and assumed an awkward posture before lowering his head and scrubbing at it. He was the spitting image of the half-wit son of a rich family who not only had absolutely no life skills, but even believed he was doing well, deliberately trying to show off.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Watching the stains worsen the more he tried to wash it, even drenching a large area of his shirt, Pei Yu¡¯s expression subtly flickered. Perhaps he could no longer tolerate the sight of it, so he reached out and dragged the other up, ¡°Don¡¯t wash it like that, you don¡¯t want that shirt anymore?¡±


    Xu Juan was addicted to feigning innocence at this point. He let an expression of awkwardness show on his face: ¡°Ah, then how should I wash it?¡±


    He looked down at himself, becoming dumbfounded as he ¡°belatedly¡± realized just how wet his clothes had gotten. The drenched, translucent white shirt clung to his body, outlining his figure very clearly; It even seemed somewhat erotic.


    Xu Juan was very thorough in his performance, allowing the expression on his face to become even more awkward. He pretended to tug distractedly at the front of his shirt so it no longer clung to his body as much, then said to Pei Yu: ¡°Why not¡­ let me borrow your washing machine? Would this wash off in the washing machine?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The look Pei Yu gave him showed just how speechless he was: ¡°Just take it off and wash it by hand.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Juan accepted the packet of laundry detergent he handed over and placed it by the sink. He gripped onto his shirt and tugged it upwards, taking it off without a moment¡¯s hesitation.


    It was summer, so naturally, he wasn¡¯t wearing anything else beneath.


    He stood half-naked in front of Pei Yu, perfectly straight. His figure was an asset that looked even better than his face; There wasn¡¯t an imperfect line on his chest and abs, his narrow waist was tucked into a low-waisted belt, which was connected to a pair of long legs.


    Pei Yu only spared him a single glance before averting his gaze. He turned away very quickly, as if he dared not look.


    This reaction could be interpreted in two ways. One, Pei Yu knew he liked men. When a straight man was face to face with a half-naked gay, it was normal to feel awkward. Two, Pei Yu was pretending to be a straight man when he was actually deep into the closet. Then, of course, he wouldn¡¯t dare to look.


    Xu Juan pondered over this for a while but didn¡¯t let it show on his face. He tossed the shirt into the sink and poured some laundry detergent onto it before starting to wash.


    It was true that he didn¡¯t quite know how to do the laundry, though.


    But he had no intention of doing it well from the start, he was only planning to wash it sloppily.


    While he was putting on his act of washing, Pei Yu watched him from the side. The more he watched, the more his resolve thinned: ¡°Let me wash it for you.¡±


    Xu Juan was flattered by the offer: ¡°That¡¯s too much trouble.¡±


    Pei Yu let out a deep sigh. Xu Juan got the feeling that he probably wanted to scold him, but only held back due to his upbringing. Instead, he heard Pei Yu say: ¡°I¡¯ll wash it clean for you, just promise me one thing.¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡± Xu Juan never expected him to say this.


    Pei Yu said: ¡°Gift me your calligraphy scroll.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    This made Xu Juan laugh: ¡°And I wondered what the matter was! Of course, that¡¯s fine, isn¡¯t it just a calligraphy scroll? If you¡¯d like me to write another, why don¡¯t you let me stay the night, Pei laoshi?¡±


    Pei Yu paused in the middle of washing the shirt.


    Xu Juan took the opportunity to play up his misery: ¡°It¡¯s already the middle of the night, and Hong Uni is in a remote area so it¡¯s not easy to hail a ride. I don¡¯t want to go home in wet clothes, I¡¯ll catch a cold.¡±


    He gave his reasons one after another, but this act was a little too excessive. No matter how ignorant Pei Yu was, he was still an adult man, not a naive sixteen year old girl.


    Pei Yu said: ¡°I¡¯ll lend you a shirt, you can wear mine home.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, too.¡± Xu Juan took whatever he could get.


    Once Pei Yu had washed his shirt clean, packed it in a plastic bag for him, found him a coat and sent him to the front door, Xu Juan stood at the entrance and said very seriously: ¡°Pei laoshi, as someone who teaches mandarin, you must have heard the story of travelling to the lake and borrowing an umbrella before, right?¡±


    Pei Yu stared at him blankly, not quite following his train of thought.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Bai Suzhen travelled to the West Lake and borrowed Xu Xian¡¯s umbrella. She then told Xu Xian that after the rain had stopped, he was welcome to pick his umbrella up at her home.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Retrieving the umbrella is just an excuse. Only when there is the process of borrowing and returning, can it conclude in a fated marriage. Am I right?¡±


    Xu Juan was standing outside the door, and Pei Yu inside.


    The two of them stared at each other in silence for a while. Pei Yu belatedly realized that he had fallen for the other¡¯s ruse and was mortified to the point of anger: ¡°Director Xu, please leave. You don¡¯t have to return my clothes!¡±


    After he said those words, he slammed the door shut with a bang.


    Author¡¯s note: Hello, how are you, are there any comments QAQ please leave me comments.

 CH 8

    After leaving Pei Yu¡¯s house, Xu Juan didn¡¯t go home. He was in a good mood, high in both spirits and energy. He called up Guo Shao, who was about to head home to bed. Their group of five or six went to a club, playing until dawn before they disbanded.


    Then, Xu Juan went home and slept until two in the afternoon. After waking, he washed up for a bit and left for work.


    This was just another ordinary day for him.


    Xu Juan lived very self-indulgently, but that didn¡¯t mean he didn¡¯t do proper work. There was a time when people on the internet joked that if one worked hard and didn¡¯t achieve their desired outcome, they should just stop working hard. Then, when others brought up your failures, you would be able to defend your reputation by giving the excuse that you didn¡¯t work hard, instead of having to admit that you lacked ability.


    This joke felt quite like dark humour, and was quite accurate in pinpointing Xu Juan¡¯s state of mind during a period of time in the past.


    ¨C¨C His company was really not doing well.


    He was a man, after all. He would more or less harbour some wild ambitions to accomplish great things.


    Xu Juan¡¯s father, Xu Jiren, was born of the grassroots. Even without attending university, he relied only on his own abilities and braved the ups and downs of the business world for decades, expanding his small shop into an international conglomerate. He was a successful entrepreneur who made waves in the financial industry, with influence over the national economy.


    Xu Jiren was a legendary figure. Xu Juan wouldn¡¯t be able to match him in his achievements even in his next life. His father aside, he would not surpass even his older brother. His only strong points were probably his skills in ¡°all show and no go¡±. When it came to doing proper business, although he wasn¡¯t terrible at it, he couldn¡¯t be considered good either.


    A few years ago, when Xu Juan was twenty, he had never considered these things. He only yearned to make a name for himself, to have his freedom.


    But after squandering a part of his youth away without restraint, he suddenly felt that freedom was meaningless. It was too hollow, so after contemplating for a while, he started a company.


    People tend to have the misconception that they would do no wrong: Once I¡¯ve had enough fun, I¡¯ll set myself back on the right path and work hard. I¡¯ll be fucking amazing then.


    Xu Juan¡¯s misconception was very severe. At that time, it was as if he were on drugs and had even started hallucinating.


    He began to earnestly venture into his work, personally handling all matters from registering his company to developing it into a legitimate business with proper scale. He didn¡¯t make one cent of profit, exhausting himself to the point of losing quite some weight.


    But he wanted to keep up appearances, especially in front of his social circle; They were all good-for-nothing children from rich families who had no dreams and aspirations. It would be embarrassing if he let them know he worked this hard for such a long time, only to lose so much capital that even his mother wouldn¡¯t recognize him. He could only feign nonchalance, saying that starting a company was just for killing time, since life was too dull.


    Guo Shao laughed out loud, saying that¡¯s true. My dad gave me two million to practise with, but I lost it all within two months, hahaha.


    Xu Juan was absolutely stumped.


    He knew he had a better headstart than most, neither did he fear failure, so he shouldn¡¯t feel this pressured.


    But even if one did not fear losing everything, they would fear their aspirations. The more aspirations one had, the more they would think themselves worthless. Xu Juan¡¯s standard of reference was too high; His father was too successful, his older brother was too outstanding. Compared to them, what insignificant little thing was he?


    Xu Juan struggled with his mental state for a period of time, but continued to work on his company.


    But the more he tried the more he realized the limits of his own capabilities. To carve out his own place in the world just like how his father had done in his youth, was truly no easy feat.


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    Thus, after experiencing this period of torment, Xu Juan ¡°returned to his roots¡±, once again becoming the playboy who found pleasure in clubbing and fraternizing with beauties.


    This time, he no longer felt hollow. He had learnt how to enjoy himself.


    Needless to say, enjoying himself was also a life skill.


    Xu Juan calmly accepted his ¡°shortcomings¡± and also understood his ¡°strengths¡±. He began to make use of what he excelled in to play himself up. For example, he was good at playing with others¡¯ feelings. When it came to affairs of the heart, that was a skill that brought with it a sense of accomplishment.


    Anyway, emotions were also a part of the arts and humanities. Xu Juan thought himself an artist, free-spirited and romantic.


    Therefore, after forcibly tooting his own horn, Xu Juan¡¯s conscience felt all the more at ease whenever he messed around.


    Regrettably, as the saying went, what goes around comes around. He slept an entire day away, only lazily coming in to work in the afternoon. When he arrived at the entrance to his office, his secretary Xiao Lin¡¯s face was full of gossipping intent while she informed him of a piece of unfortunate news: ¡°Director Xu, you made it to the hot searches again!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan briefly froze. Xiao Lin said: ¡°It¡¯s still Li Mengzhou. The two of you met up last night, didn¡¯t you? You were photographed.¡±


    Xiao Lin looked down to use the computer, copied a few links off of the hot search and sent them to his Wechat.


    Xu Juan nodded, went into his own office and closed the door. He took out his phone for a look.


    It would have been fine if he didn¡¯t look, but once he did, he was startled ¨C¨C


    The paparazzi had not only photographed him and Li Mengzhou messing about in front of the restaurant, they had also photographed Pei Yu. He reckoned it was because the paparazzi didn¡¯t leave after Li Mengzhou did, continuing to photograph him in secret. How devoted, just how big of a grudge did they hold against him?


    The news headline was very caricaturistic:¡¶The popular Li Mengzhou humbled himself to make peace after getting dumped, but the ruthless rich playboy immediately two-timed him with a mysterious hunk¡·


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    It even rhymed pretty well.


    But from the first sentence of the Weibo expos¨¦, it was already highlighted that ¡°this rich playboy¡± was Xu Jiren¡¯s second son. Once again, Xu Juan¡¯s entire family was dragged out and debated. Xu Juan¡¯s temper rose as he read it, but the moment he opened the comments section, his anger immediately quelled.


    The first top comment was: ¡°Can someone enlighten me, who is that mysterious hunk, is he also from the entertainment circle? Why do I find him better-looking than Li Mengzhou?¡±


    Xu Juan laughed, thinking to himself that the eyes of these people were sharp indeed. Pei Yu was not only better-looking than Li Mengzhou, he basically outshone the entire entertainment circle, okay? Him not debuting was the entire country¡¯s loss.


    But that article was too high up the hot search and Pei Yu¡¯s face had been fully photographed. There were so many university students using Weibo, if his students were to see it, how terrible would that be? Pei Yu¡¯s reputation would be greatly affected.


    Xu Juan forked out his own money and had someone remove the article from the trending topics.


    Then, he sent Pei Yu a message.


    He said on Wechat: ¡°Pei laoshi, are you busy? I¡¯m very sorry about today, I never expected an incident like this to happen.¡±


    Pei Yu¡¯s reply came a few minutes later, unexpectedly, he asked him: ¡°What incident?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Of course, he didn¡¯t dabble on Weibo. Xu Juan had no choice but to simply explain the matter to him. He thought that such a traditional and conservative person like Pei Yu would care a lot about his reputation, and if he didn¡¯t handle it right, he would be angry at him. Instead, Pei Yu said: ¡°It¡¯s fine, it¡¯s not a big deal anyway. The innocent have a clear conscience.¡±


    This sentence carried quite the double entendre; On the surface, it was a response to Xu Juan¡¯s message, but underneath, it was a clear dividing line: ¡°You and I have nothing to do with each other.¡±


    Xu Juan pretended not to understand, smoothly redirecting the conversation in another direction: ¡°That¡¯s right. Nowadays, entertainment news sites are all trying to bait traffic. They¡¯ll take some random photos and start weaving stories. Actually, Li Mengzhou and I don¡¯t even have anything to do with each other, they¡¯re all rumours.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Pei Yu¡¯s reply was plain and concise.


    Xu Juan stared at this word for a long time. It was clearly an ordinary word that could not be more ordinary, but it oozed indifference and disinterest. He could even imagine Pei Yu¡¯s distaste.


    Heck, imagination was what made pursuing someone most delightful. The ambiguity that his own delusion brought about ¨C¨C Who cares if he likes me or not? It¡¯s fine as long as I think he likes me.


    But of course, that alone was not enough. Only when their relationship became more intense, would he be able to enjoy a more ¡°intense¡± happiness.


    Xu Juan thought for a bit, then typed: ¡°Pei laoshi, I¡¯ve realized that you have some misconceptions about me.¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t reply, so he went ahead to say: ¡°Our first meeting happened at a less-than-ideal place, so you probably have a prejudiced first impression and slapped that sort of label onto me. But I¡¯m really not that kind of person¡­¡±


    Again, Pei Yu didn¡¯t reply.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°You can¡¯t stereotype me based on my family background, I¡¯m an ordinary person, too! I also have moral integrity, a bottom line and a sense of shame. Except sometimes during drinking sessions, I can¡¯t act like I¡¯m above the rest. Even if I don¡¯t enjoy it, I have to grit my teeth and oblige, that¡¯s the nature of social events. Of course, I¡¯m not trying to find excuses for myself. I just want to say, though I may not be blameless, you don¡¯t have to think of me as despicable. If I had the choice, I would definitely show you my best side, then slowly change the parts of me that are lacking, becoming a good person while you remain unaware. It¡¯s a pity I have terrible luck. It wasn¡¯t easy for me to finally meet someone I like, but that person hated me at first glance. No matter what I do, in his eyes, I¡¯m only making matters worse.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    After Xu Juan sent his long string of text, he saw ¡°the other is typing¡± on the chat interface. But after typing for a while, Pei Yu didn¡¯t respond with anything.


    Xu Juan waited a couple of seconds, then sent another text: ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m being so straightforward, does it repulse you? I wasn¡¯t going to be this direct initially, I wanted to sound like I was joking, then get close to you while being both honest and jesting. Genuine and proper, so I wouldn¡¯t be pushed away¡­ but I couldn¡¯t control myself. I apologize.¡±


    Pei Yu¡¯s status changed to typing again.


    This method of Xu Juan¡¯s was called, putting himself down to play up his misery.


    If he had said these the previous afternoon, Pei Yu would definitely have gotten impatient and not listened to a single word.


    However, last night, they had spent some time together as fellow calligraphy enthusiasts. Pei Yu¡¯s impression of him improved tremendously after that, he had even collected his calligraphy scroll. Although appreciating the calligraphy scroll didn¡¯t equate to liking Xu Juan himself, when one liked something, it would naturally extend to its involved parties. He would at least feel the slightest bit of good vibes from Xu Juan.


    Besides, if Pei Yu really despised him, he should be unable to like anything related to him at all, so why would the other collect his calligraphy?


    Bluntly put, this meant that he and Pei Yu now had at least a bit of friendship going on.


    Xu Juan put his phone down and leaned back in his seat, giving a lazy stretch. As he had expected, on account of this friendship, Pei Yu didn¡¯t directly block him the way he had previously. In a few seconds, the phone on the table vibrated and he picked it up. Pei Yu said: ¡°I¡¯m not gay.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    So after typing for such a long time, he only managed to squeeze out this one sentence. He had thought Pei laoshi was intending to give him a lecture.


    Xu Juan sighed. After using all the showy tricks he had up his sleeves, it was clear that the simple-minded and upright Pei laoshi was unable to handle them. Even Xu Juan himself could feel his hardened heart begin to soften.


    But to grow tender was a big no-no when it came to affairs of the heart, so Xu Juan hardened his up again for the sake of pursuing Pei Yu.


    ¡°I¡¯m not gay either.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°I am me, you are you. To like is to like, to dislike is to dislike. There¡¯s no need to classify yourself into a certain group of people, then follow their rules and copy their way of living. What do you think, Pei laoshi?¡±


    He rerouted the argument with his eloquent tongue, and unexpectedly, Pei Yu accepted his words. Swayed by his line of thought, he rejected: ¡°I don¡¯t like you.¡±


    Xu Juan smiled a little, tapping his finger on the emoticon keyboard, choosing a cute crying emoji to send over: ¡°It¡¯s okay if you don¡¯t like me, it¡¯s enough that I like you.¡±


    Pei Yu replied with a string of ellipses.


    ¡°I will like you very sincerely.¡± Xu Juan said these simple words elaborately, as if utterly infatuated, ¡°I¡¯ve finished explaining myself. Now, may I formally begin to pursue you, Pei laoshi?¡±

 CH 9

    Xu Juan realized that Pei Yu seemed to have been intimidated by him.


    He had staged a heartfelt confession on Wechat that day, concluding it with ¡°can I pursue you¡±. Pei Yu didn¡¯t reply, ignoring him for quite a few days after. After he did some self-reflection, he conceded that it was true he had come on too strong. A mellow and reserved person like Pei Yu wouldn¡¯t have been able to stand it.


    Xu Juan felt a little regretful. He was now unsure if Pei Yu¡¯s good vibes towards him had once again fallen to zero.


    He tried sounding out the situation; Every day, at seven in the morning and seven in the evening, he would punctually text Pei Yu a good morning or goodnight. Even though Pei Yu never replied, he had an awfully fun time by himself.


    It was admittedly quite a pain ¡ª¡ª He was literally unable to wake up at seven, only managing to open his eyes because he had set an alarm. When it went off, he opened Wechat to send the text. Once done, he closed both eyes and continued to sleep.


    Why insist on it being seven o¡¯clock?


    Because after adding the other on Wechat, he found out from his Moments that Pei Yu woke up at six every morning for a jog, then had breakfast at seven on the dot. He led a very healthy and disciplined lifestyle.


    For the sake of getting closer to him, Xu Juan portrayed himself as a hardworking character who woke up early and went to bed early. A good image was advantageous in earning brownie points, after all.


    Just like that, he maintained this one-sided enthusiasm for a week. Xu Juan didn¡¯t manage to receive a response and his patience slowly drained away. He got ready to proceed with the next step.


    While he was pondering over how strong he should come on next, something unexpected happened the following morning.


    It wasn¡¯t a big deal, but it was a little awkward.


    It was because last night, he, Guo Shao and the group of them were having fun at the nightclub as usual. He only got home around four in the morning to shower and sleep.


    At seven, the alarm rang. Out of habit, he opened Wechat and sent Pei Yu a greeting: ¡°Good morning, Pei laoshi. What¡¯ll you be eating today?¡±


    Xu Juan was disoriented and dizzy, he could barely keep his eyes open while typing the text, relying on sheer willpower alone to control his fingers. After tapping ¡°send¡±, he tossed the phone aside and fell asleep again.


    In the end, most unexpectedly, Pei Yu actually replied to him: ¡°It¡¯s been over a week. Are you that bored?¡±


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t see it, sleeping all the way until evening, only noticing this text when he woke up.


    His own text was sent at exactly seven. This notification came in one minute after seven. After five minutes passed without any response from him, Pei Yu sent another string of ellipses. He was probably irked by Xu Juan¡¯s antics ¡ª¡ª It was clearly you who was anxious to talk to me. I replied out of the benevolence in my heart, so how dare you ignore me?


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan stared at his Wechat for a long while, then smoothly spouted some nonsense: ¡°My apologies, something suddenly came up in the morning. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d reply, so I left my phone behind. I¡¯ve only just seen this.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t sure if Pei Yu would believe him.


    Xu Juan added: ¡°Do you have time today, Pei laoshi? May I take you out to dinner?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± Pei Yu¡¯s reply was very straightforward.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Your coat is still with me. I¡¯ve washed it, I¡¯ll find an opportunity to return it to you.¡±


    Pei Yu said: ¡°You don¡¯t have to return it.¡±


    Xu Juan let out a laugh: ¡°Don¡¯t be like that. How could I continue holding onto your clothes, it¡¯ll enable my daydreams. That can¡¯t be too good.¡±


    Ufl Te: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu seemed somewhat annoyed: ¡°Don¡¯t speak nonsense, can¡¯t you be a little more serious?¡±


    ¡°What nonsense?¡± Whenever he chatted with Pei Yu, Xu Juan¡¯s mood would improve. He realized that Pei Yu was like a mimosa, unable to endure the slightest of touches. But the more untouchable someone was, the more he would want to touch them; That was just how rebellious he was.


    ¡°I was trying to get on your good side.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°If you dislike me using that manner of speech, I won¡¯t use it anymore.¡±


    Yet, Pei Yu said: ¡°I dislike it when you speak, so it¡¯s best that you don¡¯t say anything at all.¡±


    Xu Juan felt wronged: ¡°How could a dignified teacher of our people be this unreasonable? To go as far as to deprive me of my right to discourse.¡±


    Pei Yu said: ¡°Is this how you should be using your right to discourse? That¡¯s called your right to speak.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± How strict. Xu Juan suspected he had an occupational disease, ¡°When I was still in school, my worst subject was the Chinese language.¡±


    ¡°Your other subjects were good?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Math, physics, chemistry and biology were usually full marks. I competed in contests, even got full marks in foreign languages.¡±


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t exaggerating, but Pei Yu was skeptical: ¡°Since you were so hardworking during your studies, weren¡¯t you busy? How did you find the time to practise calligraphy?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    It seemed Pei Yu cared a great deal about his calligraphy skills. Xu Juan was a little smug: ¡°I made time for it. Not only did I learn calligraphy, I also learned music. I haven¡¯t really gotten enough sleep since I was nine. Going to school, taking classes by foreign teachers, calligraphy classes, practising the piano, drawing. When I had free time and could play football with other boys, I¡¯d be happy for an entire day.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Really? Wasn¡¯t it tiring?¡±


    ¡°It was tiring, but that¡¯s how it is in my family. My older siblings went through the same things when they were young. I was exhausted back then, but when I saw how amazing they became after growing up, I was quite envious. So I grit my teeth and endured it.¡±


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    Pei Yu remained silent for a few seconds, then suddenly said: ¡°I know your older sister, Xu Qingguang. She¡¯s a very famous pianist.¡±


    Xu Juan was startled, and just in case, immediately said: ¡°My older sister is already seeing someone.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The conversation abruptly came to a stop. It wasn¡¯t easy to have carried it on this far, Xu Juan didn¡¯t want it to end.


    He got out of bed to wash up and briefly fixed his appearance. He concealed all remaining traces of having just woken up, changed his clothes and invited Pei Yu to a video call.


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t accept, texting to ask: ¡°What is it?¡±


    Xu Juan said: ¡°I have a huge collection of calligraphy and paintings at home. Quite a few of them are authentic works by masters, but some are by me. Do you want to take a look?¡±


    After sending this, he clicked ¡°video call¡± again. As expected, Pei Yu accepted.


    Once it got through, Pei Yu¡¯s face appeared on his screen. It¡¯s been over a week since they met, Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help staring at him for a couple more seconds. The more he looked, the more he thought that this face was perfect. It was truly a gift bestowed by the Creator.


    However, wordlessly staring each other down through the screen was even more awkward than when doing so in person. Pei Yu was evidently becoming embarrassed. He frowned, giving a warning: ¡°Xu Juan!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    This was his first time calling out Xu Juan¡¯s name. Previously, it was always ¡°Director Xu¡±.


    Xu Juan wanted to laugh, but he kept it in. He assumed a serious front and adjusted his back camera, talking as he walked towards the study: ¡°Pei laoshi, since you like calligraphy so much, have you ever learnt it?¡±


    ¡°I guess I have.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°But I did it in my spare time, not as professionally as you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not a professional either. My teacher had a few disciples, I was the least hard working. Only Pei laoshi was willing to entertain me, and even gave some compliments.¡±


    Xu Juan entered the study and took out his collection, taking photos and showing them to Pei Yu one by one.


    Despite saying he wasn¡¯t a professional, for every work of calligraphy or painting he photographed, he introduced the creator¡¯s background and style in detail. He even compared the different styles and explained their positive points and negative points.


    He explained them very well, but he deliberately sent subpar photographs; The images appeared very blurry through the lens.


    Pei Yu was exasperated: ¡°Won¡¯t your hands stop shaking?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m already trying my best.¡± Xu Juan bluffed, ¡°Maybe the signal is bad and the video resolution isn¡¯t good enough. Why don¡¯t we do it like this, Pei laoshi? On a day when you¡¯re free, you can come over and personally appreciate my collection to your heart¡¯s content. What do you think?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°And you can take your coat back with you, too.¡±


    Xu Juan tossed out the bait, waiting for Pei Yu to fall for it.


    But his motive was too obvious; Although a grown man like Pei Yu wouldn¡¯t be afraid to visit his home, he would consider it inappropriate to behave this way to a person currently pursuing him. As a gentleman, he should think about how to avoid any actions that could give the other the wrong idea.


    Xu Juan understood his concerns and took the initiative to help him rationalize it: ¡°You don¡¯t have to think too deeply, Pei laoshi. The one who¡¯s inviting you is me, if you want to visit, just visit. Let¡¯s be more open-minded, it¡¯s too bothersome to beat around the bush. Also, it¡¯s not like I¡¯ll ask anything of you just because you¡¯re coming over to look at my collection. We¡¯re both calligraphy enthusiasts, sharing is meant to be a good thing on its own. As the saying goes, it is difficult to meet another who can truly understand and appreciate your talent. If you dwell on it too much, it¡¯ll sour things between us. I really am very content when I spend time with you, because no one else apart from you has praised me for my calligraphy. In my parents¡¯ eyes, I haven¡¯t learned enough and still have a long way to go. My friends do like to praise me, but they don¡¯t understand these things at all, everything is mere flattery, so¡­¡±


    Xu Juan added a timely pause, revealing an expression of subtle distress.


    At this point, he had already reverted to using the front camera, the lens directly facing him. His expression wasn¡¯t intense, but there was some degree of sorrow hidden in his otherwise calm demeanour; This was how to seem most sincere.


    Fortunately, he was usually flirty and unfettered in his speech and mannerisms, so it contrasted with his current attitude. This caused others to unconsciously feel as if they had breached into his heart and seen a part of him that he had hidden away.


    It was difficult for Pei Yu not to be moved. Xu Juan saw with his own eyes the way the other¡¯s gaze wavered, and heard him say: ¡°Does Director Xu live alone? Is it convenient?¡±


    Xu Juan replied instantly: ¡°It¡¯s convenient, so Pei laoshi need not worry. When are you free? Today?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s do tomorrow.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°Is tomorrow afternoon fine?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±


    Xu Juan let out a little smile and gave him the address: ¡°I¡¯ll be waiting for you at home tomorrow afternoon.¡±

 CH 10

    In preparation of welcoming Pei Yu, Xu Juan postponed all his appointments for the next day. Though he clearly knew Pei Yu would only arrive in the afternoon, he couldn¡¯t help waking up very early. He spent the whole morning in high spirits, shutting himself in the study doing calligraphy and painting, turning himself into an ink-smeared mess.


    After that, he put together a quick lunch for himself. At around one, Pei Yu texted him on Wechat to let him know he was almost there.


    Xu Juan¡¯s delight immediately skyrocketed to its pinnacle. He found it quite unfathomable; Although he was always very earnest while pursuing someone, it wasn¡¯t often that the process made him feel the way Pei Yu did.


    He concluded it as: Pei Yu was worth it.


    Oh, wait. Pei Yu¡¯s face was worth it. So it didn¡¯t matter if he were more invested, wasn¡¯t he planning to date him after all? He should let himself be moved and care about Pei Yu more. In this way, when he received a response, he would feel greater joy.


    Xu Juan happily pushed open the door of the study. He didn¡¯t change out of his clothes, so not only was there ink on his shirt, there was also ink on his hands, and some was even smudged on his face. He walked out into the courtyard like this without washing up and opened the front door.


    He lived in a residential estate of villas. The courtyard was too big and had a garden. His neighbours were very far away.


    Pei Yu came by taxi. When he got out of the car, Xu Juan was waiting for him by the gate, his face full of anticipation. Pei Yu got a little embarrassed by the way he was looked at, so he feigned interest in their surroundings, saying: ¡°You live alone in such a huge place?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, the house was a gift from my mom. If I left it empty, it¡¯d stay empty.¡±


    Xu Juan led Pei Yu inside, talking as they walked: ¡°I don¡¯t usually receive guests, so I don¡¯t have tea. There¡¯s coffee and juice, which would Pei laoshi prefer?¡±


    Pei Yu said he would be fine with either.


    Xu Juan invited him to sit before going off on his own to prepare two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice. He added ice, then brought it over to Pei Yu.


    Honestly, it was very easy to deal with people like Pei Yu. Although he looked difficult to get along with, he didn¡¯t have a scheming heart. He wasn¡¯t adept at concealing his likes and dislikes. When he was fond of something, he behaved like a child; Despite knowing that the other party was baiting him, he would still take it. Was it because he was exceptionally foolish? No, it was because he was sincerely fond of it, and couldn¡¯t resist.


    Xu Juan dubbed this naivete, the heart of an innocent child.


    Anyway, a person like him, whose heart was blackened and insides rotten, no longer had such a thing. But this didn¡¯t stop him from understanding and admiring Pei Yu.


    ¡°How long will you be here today, Pei laoshi? Do you have time to stay for dinner?¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°We can have a drink or two. I have good liquor here, do you like drinking?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t, I don¡¯t handle liquor well.¡±


    Pei Yu maintained his decorum, his gaze flitting over to the other¡¯s face before trailing off. Xu Juan paused for a moment then reacted by casually rubbing his hand over his face, laughing: ¡°I¡¯ve been messing around with ink all day. I painted something, it¡¯s for you.¡±


    Once said, he brought Pei Yu to the study.


    His study was very spacious, the walls mounted with his collection of calligraphy works and paintings. Pei Yu¡¯s attention was stolen the moment he went through the door. Xu Juan feigned dismay and said: ¡°Don¡¯t be like that, can¡¯t you look at me? This is the painting I¡¯m gifting you.¡±


    He led Pei Yu to the desk.


    It was an ink painting, of a branch of cold plum blossoms. The painting was very simply done, if his calligraphy could be called professional, then his skills in traditional Chinese painting was that of an amateur¡¯s, barely worth a mention.


    But he painted it very sincerely. Pei Yu had seen the pile of scrapped brown paper he had tossed to the side. It seemed it hadn¡¯t been easy for this finished product to be born.


    Xu Juan even inscribed some words on the painting: ¡°This body, in a forest of ice and snow, mixed with different peaches and plums in fragrant dust. All at once in the night, the sweet scent bursts, diffuses into the universe, into a thousand miles of spring¡±.


    This was one of the famous Ode to the Plum Blossom works. Poets in olden times liked using things to express their sentiments. Xu Juan borrowed someone else¡¯s poem for use, but he was discreetly implying an entirely different thing to Pei Yu: In my heart, you are a pure and unattainable white plum blossom, different from all those other promiscuous whores.


    He didn¡¯t really care if Pei Yu understood his intentions or not since his main objective was to entertain himself.


    Whatever it was, whether he understood or not, gifting plum blossoms could never go wrong. Pei Yu was very supportive, and from his expression, seemed to like it very much.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Pei Yu appraised the painting attentively, several times over, then suddenly said, ¡°Director Xu has given me gifts two out of the three times we¡¯ve met. I¡¯m not sure what to give in return, it¡¯s really¡ª¡ª¡±


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t stand this sort of traditional and rigid manner of speech and hurriedly interrupted: ¡°It¡¯s no problem, as long as you like it. No need to be so polite.¡±


    Pei Yu gave a small smile. He rarely smiled, so each time he did, Xu Juan would thoroughly grasp onto it, then stash it deep into his memory to be replayed over and over. While Xu Juan was capturing his smile, Pei Yu pointed at the other works on the wall: ¡°May I have a look around?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely.¡± Xu Juan walked out around the back of the desk and to the front of a cupboard, opening the door, ¡°There¡¯s some here too, the ones that couldn¡¯t fit on the wall. Just make yourself at home.¡±


    To Pei Yu, Xu Juan¡¯s home was literally paradise, almost like a small-scale exhibition.


    Some of these calligraphy works and paintings were acquired by Xu Juan through spending money, and some were gifts from others. But most of them were given to him by the seniors in Duan Xiyuan¡¯s circle back when he was still his student, since they found him clever and likeable.


    Due to their good relationship, whenever those seniors casually wrote a work of calligraphy, they would give it to him without a care. However, to someone who wasn¡¯t able to get into the circle, they couldn¡¯t acquire any of these works even with a thousand pieces of gold.


    To boil it down, he was just benefitting from association with his teacher.


    While Pei Yu looked around, Xu Juan was pondering this matter. He thought, maybe he should visit his teacher in the next couple of days and bring the old man some gifts. However, Duan Xiyuan no longer acknowledged the unworthy student that was him, so if they met, he might scold him.


    Xu Juan sighed, admitting to himself that he truly wasn¡¯t anything worthy, so perhaps he shouldn¡¯t go after all? What if he angered the old man into triggering his heart disease?


    In the middle of his daydream, Pei Yu called out to him: ¡°Director Xu, was this work of calligraphy done by you? I thought this seal looked like yours.¡±


    Pei Yu stood by the wall, turning around to look at him. Xu Juan got up and walked over: ¡°It¡¯s mine.¡±


    He laughed quietly, somewhat embarrassed: ¡°This is the work I¡¯m most satisfied with, I wrote it on the day of my nineteenth birthday. How did that saying go again? ¡ª¡ª The pinnacle of one¡¯s ability, one¡¯s best work. Now I can no longer write anything close to this standard.¡±


    Pei Yu nodded: ¡°Indeed, it¡¯s better than the one you wrote at my house that night. You¡¯ve fallen behind in your skills.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    It¡¯s fine if I say a few modest lines myself, but can¡¯t you be less blunt?


    Xu Juan felt a headache coming on. Pei Yu¡¯s EQ was clearly on the low side, he said whatever came to mind, directly saying: ¡°It¡¯s such a pity, why would you get rusty? What experiences have you gone through these past few years?¡±


    ¡°Nothing much, just got lazy, that¡¯s all.¡± Xu Juan blurted absentmindedly, then realized that wasn¡¯t right. Last night, he had even portrayed himself as a desolate character who couldn¡¯t find his soulmate. This comment was too out of character. He reacted quickly, adjusting his tone to patch up his mistake, ¡°I got a little discouraged, so I didn¡¯t want to do it anymore.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Pei Yu looked at him, puzzled.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Because¡­ After I saw my upper limit, I knew I didn¡¯t have innate talent. I learnt everything when I was young ¨C¨C calligraphy, fine arts, music; I depicted myself as an all-rounder, but really I couldn¡¯t learn anything to high proficiency. In the end, I was just an amateur being a pretentious culture snob, unable to join the art scene.¡±


    This answer was his usual style of speech: Half-truths.


    In the past, he was indeed distressed, but after he stopped learning, he naturally stopped caring about these things. He wasn¡¯t someone who adored the arts to begin with, ¡°art¡± was merely a tool to him, just like how he was using it this very moment to cheat Pei Yu of good favour.


    So, by labelling himself as a pretentious culture snob, he could be considered self-aware.


    Instead, Pei Yu said: ¡°I think you have innate talent. You were already so well-learned as a child; You have a strong foundation and impressive calligraphic style, why be so self-deprecating? I don¡¯t understand much about art, but I know, it isn¡¯t that unreachable. It exists in our everyday life, so maybe if you switch up your mentality, you¡¯ll be able to grasp it.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    As expected of a Mandarin teacher.


    But Xu Juan didn¡¯t want to discuss this topic any further. One¡¯s mentality may sound like a simple matter, but in reality, it was the most difficult to change. Anyway, he didn¡¯t think there was anything wrong with his mentality right now; His promiscuity and unrestraint was something that a traditional fool like Pei laoshi would never understand.


    He didn¡¯t debate this with Pei Yu, else if Pei Yu started preaching, then he would find him much like a wooden beauty and not think him adorable anymore.


    ¡°If only,¡± Xu Juan indulged him, ¡°It¡¯s better to just go with the flow.¡±


    He walked away from Pei Yu, but just as their shoulders brushed, Pei Yu grabbed his arm: ¡°I¡¯m being serious, Xu Juan.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was stunned. Pei Yu said: ¡°You¡¯re very gifted, why won¡¯t you cherish that? Don¡¯t you find it a pity? How old are you this year, in your early twenties, right? Mr Duan Xiyuan is a master calligrapher, but when he was your age, he was still a nobody. How do you know you won¡¯t accomplish greater things than him? You¨C¨C¡±


    Pei Yu noticed the other staring at him and loosened his hold, his expression becoming awkward. Still, he insisted on finishing: ¡°I admire you very much. I hope you¡¯ll continue to work hard.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan¡¯s heart felt choked up, and he finally understood; So this was how it felt like to pursue a teacher.


    Pei laoshi was indeed worthy of being his white plum in the ice and snow, he was different from all those other common flowers and weeds.


    But how unfortunate, he himself was one of those commoners and didn¡¯t like to be educated by others.


    Xu Juan was a little upset, but even so, it wasn¡¯t to the point of wanting to express that to Pei Yu.


    But Pei Yu had said he admired him so sincerely and gave him life advice. And he did so, with a face that moved Xu Juan¡¯s heart, while leaning in at such close proximity. All of his displeasure morphed into a terrible impulse that made him disregard tactics and self-control; He couldn¡¯t resist, he wanted to turn things around and teach Pei Yu a lesson instead.


    Xu Juan turned slightly to face Pei Yu, then took one step forward.


    Pei Yu was standing by the wall to begin with, so when he suddenly moved close, Pei Yu was startled, unconsciously retreating backwards: ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡± Xu Juan forced the other against the wall, pressing one hand against Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder. He leaned in and said, ¡°Pei laoshi, you¡¯re even more naive than I thought. What about me do you admire? Do you know what kind of person I am?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    He was too close; Pei Yu¡¯s back was ramrod straight, his expression a little frozen. Xu Juan was insatiable, his lips nearly brushing Pei Yu¡¯s face. He saw the flames burning in Pei Yu¡¯s eyes, the red at the tips of his ears, and knew he was about to lose his temper. He said: ¡°Don¡¯t move.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you now myself, what kind of person I am.¡±


    Once said, he didn¡¯t give Pei Yu any time to react. He zeroed in on Pei Yu¡¯s lips and directly kissed them.


    Kissing itself was a simple process, but pleasure was anything but.


    Xu Juan kissed him fiercely, keeping Pei Yu securely against the wall. In Pei Yu¡¯s utter and complete daze, he stole his breath.


    ¡°A rookie.¡± Xu Juan quickly came to this conclusion, his kisses becoming more unbridled.


    He deliberately reached up to cover Pei Yu¡¯s eyes, wanting the darkness to help the other feel him more sensitively.


    When he slid his tongue in, he could distinctly feel Pei Yu stiffen, but the shock and thrill of the moment nailed Pei Yu exactly where he stood. Xu Juan took the opportunity to deepen their kiss, every lick and lap dripping with eroticism, executing his actions bluntly and explicitly.


    Pei Yu wanted to push him away, but Xu Juan wouldn¡¯t let him. He pressed his body close, flattening himself to the other, then wrapped his arms around Pei Yu¡¯s neck.


    ¡°¡­ Don¡¯t bite me.¡± A fleeting gasp bubbled up from Xu Juan¡¯s throat, carrying deliberate intent. He saw that Pei Yu¡¯s cheeks were flushed; He didn¡¯t even know how to catch his breath and was barely holding it in.


    Xu Juan was unwilling to let him off, leaning even closer for a deeper, more intense kiss. Not just for a rookie like Pei Yu, even he himself was hazy. The more they kissed, the more breathless he felt. He was dizzy, but he couldn¡¯t control himself, couldn¡¯t stop.


    When the kiss finally ended, the both of them were heaving as they met each other¡¯s eyes. Xu Juan heard the sound of Pei Yu¡¯s chaotic heartbeat, but his expression remained indifferent as he stared blankly at him. He looked as if he had something to say, but when his lips parted, he didn¡¯t say anything at all.


    At such a critical juncture, Xu Juan needed to take the initiative in acquiring the upper hand¨C¨C


    ¡°Pei Yu, you¡¯ve kissed me.¡± He said, inverting black and white to tell the distorted truth, ¡°You accepted the token of my love and even kissed me. Now you have to take responsibility for me.¡±


    T/N: They kissed!! But *coughs* remember, consent is key, friends.

 CH 11

    Xu Juan knew deep down in his heart; Since he wasn¡¯t able to control himself and made this move, if he didn¡¯t set things in stone with Pei Yu right this instant, once Pei Yu walked out this door, then he would probably never get the chance to meet him ever again.


    He risked it all and thickened his skin, hugging the other and refusing to let go.


    Pei Yu was irked now: ¡°When did I kiss you! It was you who acted recklessly! ¡­ Let go of me!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to.¡± Xu Juan buried his face to his shoulder, his voice filled with grievance, ¡°You definitely kissed me. If not, why didn¡¯t you push me away? You¡¯re a grown man, not a weak little girl. Your reaction was clearly silent consent. What¡¯s the difference between me kissing you with your silent consent, and you kissing me? But you actually denied it after we were done kissing. I never expected you to be this sort of person, you¡¯re such a player, Pei laoshi.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was insistent: ¡°You¡¯re even blushing and your heart is beating so fast. Do you think I haven¡¯t noticed? You obviously enjoyed it, why are you pretending to be straight? Are you saying this on purpose to string me along? How could you be like this¡­¡±


    Pei Yu was dumbfounded for quite a while, then he pushed Xu Juan away: ¡°Don¡¯t take it too far!¡±


    This was a response to Xu Juan¡¯s words; He wasn¡¯t a little girl who had no strength. The push made Xu Juan stagger and hit his back against the desk ¡ª it actually hurt a lot.


    But Xu Juan¡¯s performance was barely at the halfway mark, how could he be afraid of pain? He immediately chased after Pei Yu who was about to walk out and blocked him, kicking the door to the study shut with a bang.


    Xu Juan hugged Pei Yu again like a koala, stubbornly sticking to him. Although Pei Yu wasn¡¯t weak, it was difficult for him to show it; Pei Yu was a gentleman after all, so despite being offended, it was unlikely he would turn to violence and hit him. As expected, he didn¡¯t struggle free even after a long time had passed.


    Xu Juan saw this as an opportunity, switching up his attitude to a softer one after being forceful: ¡°I¡¯m sorry, it¡¯s true I went a little too far, but I thought you were being reluctantly consenting and was actually willing too¡­ If you want to string me along, that¡¯s fine as well. I¡¯m willing to do anything as long as you don¡¯t push me away, please?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    As the saying went, even tough women fear clingy men. Pei Yu wasn¡¯t a ¡°tough woman¡±, he was in fact probably purer and more innocent than the Xiaolongn¨¹ who grew up in an ancient tomb, and couldn¡¯t see through a scumbag¡¯s fa?ade at all. Xu Juan confessed through Wechat and he wasn¡¯t even able to ward him off, now Xu Juan was being all loving and adoring in front of him, how was he supposed to know what to do in response?


    Xu Juan¡¯s lines could be easily adjusted according to the circumstances; When he resisted fiercely, Xu Juan¡¯s attitude softened. When he was dumbfounded and at a loss, Xu Juan started to boldly probe again, finding a way to take liberties with him.


    ¡°Did you really feel nothing at all just now? Really? I don¡¯t believe it.¡±


    Xu Juan briefly shifted his face on Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder and pressed his lips against his neck, giving him a soft, sudden kiss.


    This kiss was both scalding and unexpected. It was wet, carrying a sliver of ambiguity. Pei Yu¡¯s entire body trembled and he gave Xu Juan a harsh shove out of reflex.


    We Aejc tjv tlr yjmx ab atf vbbg jcv yewqfv jujlcra atf vbbgxcby klat j atev. Ktf vbbgxcby kjr nfgs tjgv jcv vlgfmais jilucfv klat tlr yjmx. Pa tega rb wemt atja We Aejc fnfc afjgfv eq. Lf vlvc¡¯a ags ab tbiv la lc, cbg vlv tf wjxf jcs rbga bo fzqgfrrlbc atja gfnfjifv tf kjr lc qjlc. Pcrafjv, tf yelia eqbc atf wbbv jcv ilutais yilcxfv, atf afjgr kfiilcu eq lc tlr fsfr rqliilcu bnfg.


    ¡°Pei Yu.¡± Xu Juan softened his voice. He also lowered his gaze, lashes weighed down with tears. He didn¡¯t look at Pei Yu, staring at the ground as he spoke, ¡°I won¡¯t let you leave. I don¡¯t believe you don¡¯t like me even a little bit. You clearly said you admired me, and when we kissed earlier, your response was also quite enthusiastic¡­ Putting two and two together, doesn¡¯t that mean you like me?¡±


    Xu Juan was undoubtedly a mathematical olympiad candidate; He excelled at addition.


    Perhaps it was because Pei Yu had never seen a man cry, so he was stumped by his tears, momentarily forgetting to refute.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Even if you don¡¯t like me, wouldn¡¯t you at least feel some good vibes? Feelings can be nurtured, and don¡¯t I meet your standards as a partner? I¡¯m young, healthy, rich, have a variety of interests and hobbies, sentimental. Most importantly, I know calligraphy and can satisfy you very well. I like you very much and am willing to indulge you. Will you be able to find someone other than me who¡¯s more suited to you? Although you don¡¯t like me now, won¡¯t you at least consider me? Let¡¯s give nurturing a try.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu held his tongue for a long while. He was about to reply when Xu Juan immediately interrupted him, again saying: ¡°Don¡¯t say it¡¯s because of gender, you don¡¯t seem to like women either. So many ladies were pursuing you but you wouldn¡¯t even glance their way. You never know, maybe men are where your interests truly lie? If you don¡¯t try, how will you know you can¡¯t accept men? I¡¯m willing to give you a free trial. Try me out, please, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°What¨C What nonsense are you saying, can¡¯t you have a little shame!¡± It wasn¡¯t clear if Pei Yu was embarrassed or if he was annoyed. His cheeks were flushed red and it seemed from his expression that he wanted to admonish Xu Juan, but the tears on Xu Juan¡¯s face had yet to dry; Half his fury died down upon seeing that pitiful appearance and he wasn¡¯t able to say anything harsh at all.


    Xu Juan coughed lightly and ran a hand over his face. He walked over and stood in front of him, he looked apologetic but really he was trying to take further advantage of whatever leeway he had, saying: ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I know I was wrong. Please don¡¯t be angry? I shouldn¡¯t have kissed you when you were unwilling. Why don¡¯t we do it like this, you can kiss me in return, I will absolutely not resist.¡±


    Pei Yu got so angry it was ridiculous: ¡°Exercise some restraint!¡±


    ¡°Sorry.¡± Xu Juan said obediently, ¡°but I really do like you a lot, Pei laoshi.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was both forceful and meek, and was even skilled at making a scene. Pei Yu suffered defeat after defeat, and right now, he was unable to even lose his temper.


    Pei Yu stared at him for a while, equal parts furious and annoyed, then suddenly said: ¡°I¡¯m not angry anymore, you don¡¯t have to apologize. Just pretend I was never here today. In the future, let¡¯s not keep in touch. I no longer want the painting, as for the calligraphy scroll, I¡¯ll return it through express delivery. That¡¯s all. I¡¯m leaving.¡±


    Pei Yu walked towards the door, Xu Juan instantly blocked the entrance: ¡°No. If you want to leave, you might as well kill me.¡±


    Pei Yu ignored him and stubbornly reached for the door handle.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Since you plan to kill my heart, why leave me a life? Might as well go easy on me and let me die with a little more closure¡ª¡ª Pei Yu!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    That last call was full of despair,  when Pei Yu turned around to look, Xu Juan¡¯s eyes had gone red. He truly looked as if his heart had been thoroughly ravaged; He seemed tough and hateful, but also fragile and pitiful, bitterly begging him.


    Pei Yu fell silent for a while, watching Xu Juan lower his head to hide his expression, it was as if he was about to cry again.


    Pei Yu had never met anyone like this. Nowadays, as long as someone understood the concept of limits, they wouldn¡¯t do such undignified things while pursuing another person. However, Xu Juan behaved recklessly, he could make one agitated, and he could amaze them. No matter how calm and self-restrained someone was, when dealing with him, it was difficult not to be led by the nose.


    ¡°What exactly do you like about me?¡± Pei Yu didn¡¯t understand, ¡°We haven¡¯t known each other for long, has it even been half a month? You don¡¯t know the slightest thing about me, how can you be so certain you¡¯ve fallen for me? I hope you can be more rational, Xu Juan.¡±


    Instead, Xu Juan said: ¡°I¡¯m not being irrational. How do you determine what to like is, and what to know is? Desire is a type of spiritual impulse, does it have to be related to knowing someone? Also, how do I not know you, I know how you look, your personality, what you like¡ª¡ª Are we not considered soulmates? Must you insist I run a full background check on you, learn in detail the previous three generations of your family, ask about your parents¡¯ occupations, how much savings you have¡­ Is this then considered knowing you? That¡¯s not dating, that¡¯s assessing a potential partner for marriage suitability.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Words had completely failed Pei Yu.


    Xu Juan took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes again, then reached out to pull at his hand: ¡°To be honest, looking for a marriage partner isn¡¯t a bad thing. You¡¯re no longer that young either, why insist on being single? Try it out with me, I promise, there won¡¯t be a partner more suitable for you than me. Please, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t remain silent, if you don¡¯t say anything, I¡¯ll take it that you¡¯ve agreed.¡±


    Xu Juan held tightly onto Pei Yu¡¯s fingers, moving close to lean against Pei Yu.


    ¡°I like you a lot.¡± These words did carry some sincerity. He realized that Pei Yu was indeed very likeable. If any girl out there were lucky enough to succeed in pursuing him, he would definitely be a good husband. Regrettably, Pei Yu wasn¡¯t very fortunate and instead met with himself. His chances of becoming a husband were probably next to nothing now.


    Xu Juan tried wrapping his arms around Pei Yu¡¯s waist, shifting even closer to say in a soft voice: ¡°Can I kiss you again? Just once, I¡¯ll be gentle.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu turned his face away, it was difficult to determine if this action meant consent or rejection. Xu Juan took his chances and pressed Pei Yu against the door. When he kissed him, he restrained both Pei Yu¡¯s hands and slotted his knee between Pei Yu¡¯s legs, trapping him.


    But it was completely unnecessary, Pei Yu didn¡¯t really resist.


    Xu Juan was a little dazed. His lips parted from Pei Yu¡¯s, the kiss was quite fervent and a thread of silver stretched between them. He inclined forward to lick Pei Yu, then saw the other¡¯s flushed face. Very carefully, he said: ¡°¡­You¡¯ve agreed?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Pei Yu resolutely maintained his self-respect, ¡°I don¡¯t like you. Why are you so annoying? Is pestering someone like this very fun?¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    Xu Juan nodded in understanding. Wasn¡¯t this sentence basically him being a tsundere? It was similar to a girl¡¯s ¡°you¡¯re so annoying, I don¡¯t want to have anything to do with you¡±.


    Xu Juan knew very well when he could advance, and when it was time to step back. He subtly gave Pei Yu a way out, saying: ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I was probably too excited earlier, but I don¡¯t have any intention of forcing you into anything. You have the right not to like me, but I¡¯m still of the opinion that, if you don¡¯t try, how will you know that it can¡¯t be?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we give it a try? Just a try, it¡¯s not considered dating. If you think we won¡¯t work out, you can end it anytime, I will definitely not force you. How about it, can you accept this relationship?¡±


    Xu Juan¡¯s tricks were endless, he thought, Pei Yu shouldn¡¯t have a reason to reject. A real straight man would never let himself be kissed so easily, neither would he allow such a series of follow-up events. Pei Yu was deep in the closet and unaware of it, even now, he still hadn¡¯t figured out what was going on, and Xu Juan had the advantage.


    But the more advantage a person had, the more they shouldn¡¯t show their strength. Only a man who knew how to dote on their partner was considered mature, driven and tolerant.


    This was something Xu Juan did very well in, he was gentle, tender and put himself down, dangling a small dose of drugs in front of Pei Yu, as if luring him: Just a little, it¡¯ll be as if you haven¡¯t taken it, you¡¯ll be fine. Then, he quietly waited for Pei Yu¡¯s answer.


    Finally, Pei Yu was willing to take the given way out: ¡°You¡¯d better honor your word. When I decide to end it, you can¡¯t pester me anymore?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely.¡± Xu Juan¡¯s lips curved, ¡°Then, if I want to kiss you again right now, can I?¡±


    Pei Yu¡¯s ears turned red, his temper flaring: ¡°Why are you so annoying!¡±


    T/N: A moment of silence for Pei Yu¡­ Also, on top of the raws from cp, I¡¯ve dug around for more uncensored versions of the text (which is what my translations are based off of), and if there¡¯s nsfw (in future chapters), I¡¯ll put the nsfw content under a dropdown!

 CH 12

    Despite expressing disdain, he eventually still allowed for a kiss. If dating were a battle, then when faced with Xu Juan, Pei Yu had absolutely no power to return his blows. But this wasn¡¯t important; Why bother with winning and losing? It all boiled down to satisfaction in the end.


    For now, Xu Juan happily sprawled himself onto Pei Yu¡¯s body, playing the role of a clingy demon to his heart¡¯s content.


    To be honest, he wasn¡¯t fond of being clingy, but he realized that Pei Yu was quite affected by it. Once he clung to him, Pei Yu¡¯s entire body would stiffen while he showed an unhappy expression. However, his heart would start pounding very fast, his cheeks flushing in the next second, and he would let Xu Juan do as he pleased.


    ¡ª¡ª Why is he so adorable?


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t figure it out; Initially, he fell in love with Pei Yu at first sight. What he fell for was Pei Yu¡¯s unapproachable aura ¡ª He resembled a snow lotus upon the peak of a lofty mountain, as if a challenge, and it instantly aroused Xu Juan¡¯s desire to conquer.


    He couldn¡¯t help but reflect, was Pei Yu easier to pursue than he had expected, or had his skills improved once again? But that didn¡¯t matter, right now, he was in a tremendously good mood.


    ¡°Let¡¯s have dinner together tonight.¡± Pei Yu sat behind the desk, scribbling randomly with his brush. Xu Juan had his arms wrapped around him from the back of the chair, the weight of his upper body bearing down on Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder. He spoke very intimately, ¡°What do you like to eat? I¡¯ll order in.¡±


    Pei Yu was still a little stiff, but he maintained a fa?ade of indifference: ¡°I¡¯ll pass, I have some other business to attend to tonight.¡±


    Xu Juan immediately asked: ¡°What business? Is it more important than accompanying me?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu choked, ¡°Can you not get into character so quickly? Be reasonable, I¡¯m not used to it.¡±


    ¡°All right, if you dislike it, I won¡¯t say those things.¡± Xu Juan loosened his arms and stood up straight, away from Pei Yu¡¯s body.


    Pei Yu¡¯s back was to him and he couldn¡¯t see his current expression, but even after waiting for a while, he remained silent and didn¡¯t say anything else.


    There was a slight shift to Pei Yu¡¯s shoulders as if he wanted to turn around to look at him, but at the same time, he didn¡¯t want to show that he was paying the other close attention. After hesitating for some time, he wasn¡¯t able to bear it after all, turning around to say in a tactful manner: ¡°There¡¯s no other meaning, only that I¡¯m not used to it. You should give me some time to get accustomed.¡±


    Xu Juan had been sneaking peeks at his subtle reactions and was secretly gleeful, but he put on a serious front: ¡°Okay, take your time to get accustomed. You can get used to it whenever you want, I don¡¯t mind. Whatever you do, I¡¯ll be fully accepting.¡±


    He reached out to embrace Pei Yu again, so enthusiastically that he was more scalding than the August sun. Pei Yu was hugged, nuzzled and kissed by him, and furrowed his brows hard, chiding: ¡°Do you not have bones, Director Xu?¡±


    Not only was Xu Juan unrepentant, he even changed the subject: ¡°Look at our relationship now, don¡¯t you think it¡¯s inappropriate for you to still be calling me Director Xu?¡±


    ¡°Then how should I address you?¡±


    ¡°How would you like to?¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°In my family, my father is Lao Xu, my older brother is Da Xu. You can call me Xiao Xu.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°I would rather call you Director Xu.¡± Pei Yu muttered quietly.


    ¡°Actually,¡± Xu Juan paused, somewhat awkward, ¡°I have a nickname called Juan-juan. God, it sounds awful, but it can¡¯t be helped. Who allowed my mother to randomly pick such a terrible name for me back then.¡±


    He reached for the front of Pei Yu¡¯s shirt again, fiddling with a button as he continued to say: ¡°I think it was because the year I was born, my father¡¯s career was in jeopardy and there was a lot of pressure. My mother hoped ¡®juan¡¯ would take on the meaning of a ¡®slow, gentle trickle¡¯, and wished our family would see good days for a long time. Rather than huge profits, she wished for wealth that would be stable and long-lasting. I suppose I wasn¡¯t born at the right time. My older brother¡¯s name is Xu Zhouyi, my older sister¡¯s is Xu Qingguang. Which of those aren¡¯t better than mine?¡±


    Ktf abqlm bo tlr bkc cjwf oliifv We Aejc klat gfrfcawfca, yea la tjv yffc tlr cjwf obg wjcs sfjgr, joafg jii. Ktfgf kjr cb qblca lc mtjculcu la cbk.


    Unexpectedly, Pei Yu said: ¡°No, I think it¡¯s pretty good. A slow, gentle trickle. What could be more beautiful than ¡®long-lasting¡¯? If I had to choose between fireworks and a gentle stream, I would definitely pick the latter.¡±


    ¡°I would pick the fireworks.¡±


    Xu Juan laughed, but seeing that Pei Yu seemed to be peeved by what he said, he switched up: ¡°I was only saying. It¡¯s just picking a name, why be so meticulous about it? Did you know, when I was little, how wronged I felt when my classmates chased me around while calling me Juan-juan? Some even called me Xiao Juan meimei. I was subjected to so much campus violence because of my name, I was so pitiful.¡±


    What he didn¡¯t say was: Anyone who dared to call him that was beaten to tears by him. He was the embodiment of campus violence, to begin with, and was commonly known as the school bully.


    Nevertheless, Pei Yu comforted him kindly: ¡°Little children are ignorant, they were only playing a joke on you.¡±


    Xu Juan pretended to have been comforted, lowering his head to nuzzle his cheek to the side of Pei Yu¡¯s face: ¡°Then do you want to have dinner with me tonight? If you have any appointments, why don¡¯t you reschedule? I¨C¨C¡±


    Before he could finish speaking, his phone suddenly rang.


    Xu Juan quickly picked up, it was Hou Shijie on the other end of the line, instantly calling out: ¡°Hey, cousin! Where are you relaxing at? Come out, let¡¯s go have fun!¡±


    Hou Shijie¡¯s voice was especially loud and Pei Yu heard every word, crystal-clear.


    Xu Juan put on his fa?ade, saying: ¡°Have what fun? All you know is to have fun, do you think I¡¯m as unoccupied as you? I¡¯m busy, go have fun on your own.¡±


    Once said, he smoothly hung up. Despite the Hou Shijie on the other end being oblivious to the situation, he was dragged in front of Pei Yu and trampled on just for the sake of boosting Xu Juan¡¯s positive image. Xu Juan said: ¡°Sigh, this younger cousin of mine has been ignorant and incompetent ever since he was a kid. I¡¯ve nagged at him so many times, but not a single word gets through to him.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    They had only just gotten together ¡ª¡ª At the very least, this was considered getting together, so Pei Yu maintained some sense of distance and didn¡¯t make any personal remarks regarding his relatives. Whatever he heard, he nodded at, then eventually said: ¡°I really do have something on tonight, let¡¯s have dinner another day.¡±


    Xu Juan had no choice but to agree, following up with another question: ¡°Then when do you have to leave? Keep me company a little longer.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    He displayed his adoration to the fullest; His actions, words, gaze ¡ª They all formed a web dripping with emotion, wrapping tight around Pei Yu.


    Pei Yu had never gone through such a special kind of dating experience, so he was unable to reciprocate the same way. But not responding would make him seem a little cold, and that wouldn¡¯t be too good, would it?


    Pei Yu wasn¡¯t sure what to say, nor did he know what he should do to make himself seem less restrained and wooden. It made him feel as if he had lost face.


    He inhaled quietly, faintly getting the impression that his heart was tightly gripped by Xu Juan. It made him uncomfortable, but the feeling was mixed in with a foreign numbness that left him at a loss.


    ¡°I¡­ may be in a rush.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°I¡¯ll keep you company next time.¡±


    Seeing that he looked as if he wanted to flee, Xu Juan felt a little glum: ¡°Next time again? Do you regret it and no longer want to try with me, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that.¡± Pei Yu denied while feigning composure.


    To be honest, Xu Juan was afraid that he would regret it. After all, how could he allow the other to slip through his fingers?


    ¡°Then could you do something that shows you like me, even just a little bit?¡± Xu Juan tightened his arms even more around Pei Yu, hugging him, ¡°We had an agreement, you would try experiencing how it feels like to date me. I can¡¯t be the only one putting in effort, right? There¡¯s that saying, genuine knowledge stems from practice, so you have to personally like me. How about this, let¡¯s start small, you can give me a kiss first.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan remained sprawled on Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder. He closed his eyes and turned, shifting so his face was in front of Pei Yu¡¯s.


    In the silence, he heard the sound of Pei Yu breathing very close to him; It was slow and controlled, as if suppressing some sort of concealed emotion.


    Pei Yu had on an unfamiliar cologne, or perhaps it was the scent of his shower gel. He didn¡¯t notice it earlier, but now that he had his eyes closed, his sense of smell was amplified and Xu Juan belatedly noticed how good the fragrance on his body was. He couldn¡¯t help sniffing at it a couple of times, mildly addicted.


    But Pei Yu stayed motionless, even after a long time.


    When Xu Juan was finally about to accept that he didn¡¯t want to pay attention to him, his face was suddenly held by the other.


    Pei Yu used quite a bit of force, probably due to clumsiness, causing him to underestimate his strength. His fingers slid down the line of Xu Juan¡¯s cheek and grasped onto his jaw.


    Xu Juan nearly suspected that his face was bruised with fingerprints. Then, Pei Yu finally abandoned his hesitation and kissed him.


    It was a very brief touch, as if being brushed by a feather, slightly ticklish.


    Xu Juan was a little impatient, deliberately saying: ¡°Have you kissed me yet? Why didn¡¯t I feel anything.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu had no choice but to kiss him again, this time with more force. Just as Pei Yu leaned in, Xu Juan discarded his passiveness, moving from the back of the chair to Pei Yu¡¯s front, leaning over to kiss him.


    Although this position was a little tiring, it felt more satisfying to Xu Juan.


    Despite being adept at displaying weakness, he much preferred the feeling of being in control. Regardless of loving or being loved, he only wished to be the initiative one.


    Pei Yu clearly could not think too deeply about things, even countering his enthusiasm had depleted a huge chunk of his energy.


    On the other hand, Xu Juan was very pleased with himself, his energy boundless, ¡°You should save my number.¡± He was already beginning to scheme for the future, ¡°Just Wechat isn¡¯t convenient, when there¡¯s an emergency we still need to rely on calls.¡±


    Pei Yu agreed, and saved his number.


    While filling in the contact details, Xu Juan was disgruntled by Pei Yu¡¯s dull method of saving his contact name, deciding to personally demonstrate to him how it should be done. He opened his own contact list and typed out four characters: ¡°my baby Yu-yu¡±, then suggested that Pei Yu changed his contact name to ¡°my baby Xu-xu¡±.


    ¡°¡­You¡¯re so damn childish.¡± Pei Yu refused to change it, ¡°If anyone else were to see, it would be too embarrassing.¡±


    Xu Juan said: ¡°How is it embarrassing? Couples are always this romantic, spontaneously kissing their lao-gong or lao-po. We don¡¯t see them getting embarrassed.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like we¡¯re married.¡± Pei Yu was adamant.


    Xu Juan was exasperated: ¡°Just look at what century we¡¯re in, who said that we can only call someone else lao-gong after marriage? If you want to say it, then say it. What matters is that it makes you happy.¡±


    ¡°How can you be so casual?¡± Pei Yu¡¯s brows furrowed again.


    Xu Juan realized that he really couldn¡¯t match his ideologies, because the two of them were completely different. He had no choice but to take a step back and raise his hands in surrender: ¡°All right, I was kidding. I¡¯m the kind of person who talks with no filter, don¡¯t take everything I say to heart.¡±


    Exhaustion suddenly settled upon him. Thank god he wasn¡¯t intending to spend a lifetime with Pei Yu, or they would no doubt experience constant friction in their daily lives. He had no intention of persuading Pei Yu, and should Pei Yu want to persuade him, that would be a pipe dream.


    But this was only the beginning, the most beautiful time during the dating period. The ever-increasing fervour and love that Xu Juan felt for Pei Yu allowed him to treat everything with indifference. As long as he could be together with Pei Yu, he was content, and nothing else held importance.


    ¡°I¡¯ll send you off later.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°When does the semester start at your university? Can I drop by to look for you next time? Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t carelessly speak of our relationship, so it won¡¯t affect you. I just want to have more opportunities to spend time with you, is that okay?¡±


    ¡°Sure, but I¡¯m very busy,¡± Pei Yu said.


    ¡°I know, I¡¯ve already heard of it. Apparently, when you were still with your ex-girlfriend, you wouldn¡¯t even spare some time to go on dates, breaking the girl¡¯s heart. Will you break my heart this way too, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡± Pei Yu choked, ¡°It¡¯s not like I did it on purpose!¡±


    ¡°In the end, it doesn¡¯t make a difference.¡± Xu Juan smiled at him, ¡°But it¡¯s all right. Even if you don¡¯t pay attention to me, I¡¯ll pay attention to you. Just focus on your work, I¡¯ll watch you from the side. Isn¡¯t that basically the same thing?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    He truly spewed his flowery words wholesale, indulging Pei Yu until the other was obedient and docile. When he had to leave, he personally drove Pei Yu in his car.


    Before getting out of the car, the both of them shared a very long kiss inside.


    Once Pei Yu had left and the door was closed, Xu Juan gave a lazy stretch and made a turn, making a beeline for Hou Shijie¡¯s gathering. Then, they proceeded to the nightclub and he had fun the entire night, only returning home the next morning.


    Author¡¯s note: Coming up next is a period of sweet and happy dating life, please allow the fluff author nkll to demonstrate their unique specialty ( ^ __ ¨C )

 CH 13

    Xu Juan hadn¡¯t the slightest idea how others would answer, but his would be: It feels good to be needed, to be relied on. 5LFTsH


    Dating was a sort of special social interaction that was different from affection between family and friends, it possessed exclusivity. This kind of natural exclusivity granted one a very particular satisfaction: I am special, the one and only; I am needed by my lover, and no one apart from me can fulfil his wants.


    This was what Xu Juan was most captivated by.


    Please support our translators at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com


    In his opinion, no one in the world could be naturally optimistic without fail. There were only two categories of people who could constantly be optimistic: The first, because ignorance is bliss. The second, those who had thoroughly dissected themselves, and accepted themselves for who they were.


    He believed he was the latter.


    But he had yet to fully accept himself for who he was. Humans were creatures adept at seeking misery, or in short, they did not know how to be ¡°content¡±. Even if one were living decently at the moment, once they got used to it, they would find that ¡°decent¡± had become mediocre and dull. People always wanted what was better.


    Xu Juan was one such example.


    7oIH8p


    Sometimes, after he had messed around at a nightclub overnight, once the neon lights had dispersed and he was heading home while dawn broke, he would see all kinds of people on the way back, filled with vigour and life. Often, a sliver of self-doubt would arise: Compared to them, it¡¯s as if I am the insignificant one.


    This feeling didn¡¯t emerge often, but whenever it did, it rendered him quite uncomfortable, absentmindedly causing him to feel lonely, as if detached from society.


    But, at this time, if his little lover suddenly called him or texted him on Wechat, acting spoilt: ¡°Ge, why didn¡¯t you come over last night? You made me wait all night¡±, he would immediately go back to normal. All three immortal souls and seven mortal forms of his would resume their rightful positions, and he would blend in with society once again.


    That¡¯s why, dating was great.


    Being in love could fill his cold and lonely hollows, it could let him coexist amicably with the world and forever enjoy the pleasures of life.


    Would there be unhappiness, then? Perhaps there would be for others, but not for Xu Juan. 8fVylA


    It was true that when two people were together for a long time, after the honeymoon period had passed, all kinds of problems would start showing up one after the other. This was in accordance with the law of development for all matters.


    If one had to consider marriage, buying a house and kids, then the problems would increase. So, Xu Juan eliminated all the latter steps. He only desired the honeymoon period.


    He couldn¡¯t possibly be the only one who thought this way, but regrettably, the majority of people weren¡¯t as fortunate as him. Those trapped by their socioeconomic status or some inevitable factors, including their indecisiveness regarding relationships, were incapable of something so difficult.


    As such, Xu Juan made the best out of everything he had at his disposal and played the role of a scumbag to his heart¡¯s content. P n6dq


    After all, the Heavens were fair; He had done so many despicable things, so he had better take the opportunity to enjoy now, since it was uncertain what sort of junk he would reincarnate into in his next life.


    Just as he was contemplating the possibility of being reborn as a pig and made into a sausage in his next life, his phone suddenly rang.


    Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.


    It was a call from Pei Yu.


    ¡°Pei laoshi, good morning.¡± Xu Juan greeted, filled with spunk. dE71dg


    ¡°Good morning.¡± It was very quiet on Pei Yu¡¯s end, with the sound of bowls and plates gently clinking; He seemed to be having breakfast. He said to Xu Juan, ¡°I suddenly remembered something. The painting from yesterday is still at your house, I forgot to bring it with me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, and here I was wondering what the matter was. I¡¯ll send it over to you another day.¡± Xu Juan let out a quiet laugh, lowering his voice some, ¡°Was that all? I thought you called me this bright and early because you missed me. I guess I was wrong.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Ufl Te vlvc¡¯a wjxf j rbecv jcv We Aejc gfwjlcfv rlifca jr kfii, rlwqis kjlalcu obg tlr gfrqbcrf. vn 290


    Dea ab fzqfma Ufl Te ab yf jyif ab oilga klat qgjmalrfv fjrf kjr qgbyjyis j ajii bgvfg. Ufl Te kjr raemx obg j ibcu ktlif, atfc qfgtjqr tfjgv atf rbecv bo nftlmifr jgbecv tlw: ¡°Qtja jgf sbe vblcu? Tbe¡¯gf ublcu bea rb fjgis?¡±


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t say that he had been playing all night and was too exhausted to drive home, so he was currently taking a stroll toward the subway station. He made up an excuse: ¡°I have something on today, so I¡¯m heading into the office earlier.¡± Then, he asked Pei Yu, ¡°Are you busy today? Do you have time to get dinner together tonight?¡±


    Pei Yu said: ¡°No, I¡¯ve got something on.¡±


    ¡°Why¡¯re you always saying the same thing? You should at least come up with another excuse to reject me, Pei laoshi.¡± taGLZc


    ¡°¡­ Not an excuse,¡± Pei Yu hesitated for a moment, ¡°Just some social niceties.¡±


    The radar in Xu Juan¡¯s mind suddenly flashed: ¡°Social niceties?¡±


    What sort of social niceties would a university professor currently on summer break need to attend? Besides, it wasn¡¯t as if Pei Yu was a people-person who enjoyed socializing. Xu Juan laughed a little and joked: ¡°Who¡¯re you meeting with? You¡¯re not going on a blind date, are you, Pei laoshi?¡±


    Unexpectedly, he had hit the nail on the head. fxaQtI


    Perhaps due to a guilty conscience, Pei Yu¡¯s tone became somewhat muffled: ¡°My aunt set it up, it wouldn¡¯t be very appropriate to reject her.¡±


    ¡°Why not? Couldn¡¯t you have just said that you¡¯re not in a hurry to get married, and don¡¯t want to find a partner?¡± Xu Juan was a little glum.


    Pei Yu fell silent, only speaking up again after a long time: ¡°My aunt treats me very well. When I was in elementary school, my father passed away from illness and my mother was in poor health. It was my aunt who took care of our family, that¡¯s why I¡­¡±


    Xu Juan understood. This wasn¡¯t just any ordinary relationship between relatives; His aunt was someone like a benefactor to him. 1bMDck


    Recalling that his uncle was the old-school author He Mingshu, it was no surprise that Pei Yu had been raised with such a character. After all, they were a family of scholars.


    ¡°All right, then.¡± Xu Juan¡¯s tone was odd, full of grievance, ¡°But we¡¯re together now, and you¡¯re still going on blind dates? What am I supposed to do if you and that lady happen to be a good match? Are you going to listen to your aunt and marry her?¡±


    Chrysanthemum Garden.


    ¡°What are you going on about?¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°I¡¯ll only show up for a while out of obligation, it¡¯ll be fine once it¡¯s over and done with. I never said I wanted to develop any relationship with her.¡±


    ¡°Really? I¡¯m not assured. Unless you promise me that you won¡¯t look at her more than necessary. Not even a single glance more.¡± lvqkGL


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was the spitting image of a drama queen. He was never like this previously, it was always others who were drama queens to him. But he realized that when he was dramatic while dealing with an oblivious and naive blockhead like Pei Yu, the other would respond in a rather entertaining manner. POa7By


    As expected, Pei Yu seemed to be out of sorts again. His embarrassment and discomfort could even be felt through the phone.


    ¡°Why would I want to look at her more than necessary!¡± Pei Yu said, annoyed, ¡°Don¡¯t spout nonsense, I¡¯m not that kind of person! What even goes on in that head of yours!¡±


    ¡°All right, all right. It¡¯s my fault for assuming that a gentleman like you would do such despicable things based on my own speculations.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°Then, if I may ask, what time will this gentleman Pei Yu be meeting with the lady? Am I allowed to know?¡±


    Pei Yu was surprisingly frank: ¡°I¡¯ll be leaving in a while. My uncle invited some acquaintances from his circle, so she¡¯ll be visiting with her father. Everyone will be having lunch together, then tea in the afternoon. Dinner will probably be at my uncle¡¯s house too.¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s not just the two of you meeting up alone.¡± Xu Juan nodded, wondering just how many tricks these people in the literary circle had up their sleeves. They went through so much trouble just to organize such a proper event, all for the sake of playing matchmaker for the two young people. But to meet with one¡¯s partner in such a reserved setting, what even was the point?


    Pei Yu said: ¡°I¡¯m going to change and head out. I¡¯m hanging up.¡± YPd kD


    ¡°Wait!¡± Xu Juan blurted out, ¡°I want to go with you. If I stayed home on my own, my heart will get restless once I think about you having a blind date outside.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Let me know the address, I¡¯ll wait for you outside, okay? Meet them and find an excuse to leave early, then let¡¯s go on a date. I¡¯ll take you out to have fun, it¡¯ll definitely be more entertaining than that old-school tea event, please? ¡ª¡ª Please, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± X3U0un


    Xu Juan half-coaxed and half-conned him, until Pei Yu wavered. He actually gave Xu Juan the address and told him that he would text him on Wechat depending on the situation.


    Upon hanging up, Xu Juan took the subway home.


    Chrysanthemum Garden.


    He wasn¡¯t in a hurry at all. The first thing he did when he got home was to shower. Being a playboy was a very precise line of work and required professionalism; Everything else he could just make do with, but he absolutely could not compromise on his appearance.


    Xu Juan removed the clothes that he had worn while messing around all night, smothered in the heavy stench of cigarette smoke, alcohol and makeup, and then went into the bathroom for a good wash. After that, he stood in front of his wardrobe for quite a while, carefully considering his options. In the end, he gave up on a flashy outfit. He picked a random pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, put on some sneakers and headed out. 2PRaj5


    He realized that ever since he got to know Pei Yu, he had been drifting further and further away from the path of being pretentious.


    In front of people like Li Mengzhou, he was the unapproachable one. Not only did he have to maintain his role as an overbearing president, but he also had to be more serious and upright. How else would he be able to preserve his dignity as a sponsor?


    But Pei Yu was different. If he were to dress impeccably in a suit and stand in front of Pei Yu, tossing out banknotes, Pei Yu would definitely not like him.


    Sigh, he really was too dedicated. LX6J2f


    Xu Juan yawned, picked up his car keys and left the house.


    This morning, someone else had sent his car back. He had just gotten into the driver¡¯s seat himself, but he became sleepy the moment he sat down.


    He was a little regretful, he shouldn¡¯t have made such big sacrifices just to indulge Pei Yu. Was the air conditioner not strong enough, or was the bed not soft enough? No, but he just had to run over to the lobby of someone else¡¯s home and guard the entrance for Pei Yu like he had nothing better to do. But once he thought of Pei Yu having a blind date inside, he really did feel quite upset.


    He¡¯d had so many bed partners, and if any of them had dared to treat him this way, he would have already given them a kick. y6d0K4


    He was only this tolerant of Pei Yu because he hadn¡¯t gotten to sleep with him yet. Men were always exceptionally patient before they got the other into bed.


    Sustained by his patience, Xu Juan drove over to the given location.


    Pei Yu¡¯s aunt lived in the western part of the city, and the environment here was pretty decent. Xu Juan was unable to enter the residential estate, so he found a parking lot outside and killed the engine. Leaning against the seat, he texted Pei Yu on Wechat: ¡°I¡¯m outside, have you all started yet? Have you seen her yet? If you have, come out earlier, I¡¯ll be waiting for you.¡±


    Once the text was sent, Pei Yu replied with a word: ¡°Mn.¡± pXQbzn


    It was only nine now, even if Pei Yu were anxious to leave, he couldn¡¯t possibly excuse himself this early.


    Xu Juan made a rough estimate of how much time it would take, put his phone down, reclined his seat and decided to take a short nap.


    In the end, he slept like the dead, not even waking in the afternoon.


    When it was almost ten, Pei Yu sent him a text, asking him if he was in a rush, and if he was, he should go first and they could meet up a little later. Around twelve, he asked again: ¡°Why aren¡¯t you replying, have you already left, Xu Juan?¡± hNOU8t


    His phone kept vibrating with Wechat notifications, but Xu Juan didn¡¯t hear a thing.


    This was Pei Yu¡¯s first time on a blind date.


    Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.


    The girl¡¯s family name was Huang, both her parents were intellectuals, and she had decent looks. But to comment on her character, since it was their first meeting, both had their own reservations and were none the wiser, so neither could figure out what kind of person the other was.


    Besides, Pei Yu wasn¡¯t even in the mood to pay attention. WLnE97


    He kept his phone clutched in his hand, and after lunch, he used the excuse of going to the washroom to call Xu Juan, but the other didn¡¯t pick up.


    He had no idea what was going on at Xu Juan¡¯s end. He had clearly said he felt uneasy and wanted to accompany him, but suddenly disappeared. Left hanging and suspended in this limbo, Pei Yu was absentminded the entire day. Because his behaviour was too perfunctory, he caused some embarrassment for the girl in front of their elders. His aunt didn¡¯t look too pleased, and his plans to escape early had also gone to ruins.


    It wasn¡¯t until dinner ended, when the sky was nearly dark, that Pei Yu finally sent the elders off and regained his freedom.


    When he came outside, Xu Juan had just woken up, but it was due to hunger. x XQbN


    From nine in the morning to seven in the evening, Xu Juan marvelled at himself for sleeping like a pig. Maybe he really was going to be made into a sausage in his next life. It was at this moment that Pei Yu¡¯s nth phone call came through.


    ¡°Hello?¡± Xu Juan let out a very prolonged yawn.


    ¡°Where are you?¡± Pei Yu¡¯s voice was very deep, carrying with it a hint of restrained anxiety.


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t notice: ¡°M¡¯outside. What¡¯s wrong, you¡¯re not out yet? ¡ª¡ª Sigh, Pei laoshi, you couldn¡¯t have really hit it off with that lady, could you? You forgot about me?¡± hfPsRX


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu fell silent for two seconds, ¡°Where? I¡¯m out, I don¡¯t see you.¡±


    ¡°At the entrance of the residential estate, walk towards the left.¡±


    Xu Juan brought his seat back up and looked out the window. In a single glance, he spotted Pei Yu, who had his phone raised in his hand. He pushed the car horn, Pei Yu walked towards him, opened the door of the car and sat beside him.


    ¡°I called you quite a few times.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°I thought you¡¯d left.¡± r4Penq


    Xu Juan gave himself a couple of pats on the cheek. His sleeping position wasn¡¯t very good earlier, and there were some marks left on his face. He was a little tired; Tired and hungry. He deliberately leaned over to the passenger seat, sprawling himself on Pei Yu to say: ¡°How could I have left? I waited an entire day for you and haven¡¯t eaten anything. Good for you, though, you¡¯ve had two meals and there was even a little lady to keep you company.¡±


    ¡°What nonsense are you saying again.¡± Pei Yu paused, ¡°She¡­ has pretty ordinary looks, and her calligraphy isn¡¯t as good as yours.¡±


    Xu Juan was briefly stunned, he really hadn¡¯t expected Pei Yu to say that. But although this was a small victory, he feigned innocence, deliberately starting to bicker: ¡°Yo, so if her looks surpassed mine and if her calligraphy were better than mine, the two of you would get together?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu was getting miffed, ¡°Don¡¯t you understand the human language?¡± qLk2 x


    Xu Juan let out a laugh: ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯m starved, I want to eat something, I haven¡¯t eaten all day. Can you cook, Pei Yu? Why don¡¯t you cook for me.¡±


    Pei Yu agreed.


    Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com


    Then Xu Juan said: ¡°Great, let¡¯s go to yours. I want to sleep over tonight.¡±


    Pei Yu was bewildered when he heard this, looking away out of embarrassment. He said in a small voice: ¡°We¡¯ve only just started dating, that¡¯s not very appropriate.¡± uRCgsv


    ¡°So what if we¡¯ve just started dating?¡± In the dim splatter of light, Xu Juan leaned over to kiss him, his tone ambiguous, ¡°It¡¯s just sleeping, what are you thinking of?¡±


    Pei Yu¡¯s face flushed even darker.

 CH 14

    Compared to the first, Xu Juan had a more legitimate reason for his second time stepping through the door to Pei Yu¡¯s home.


    For the sake of cooking him dinner, Pei Yu brought him to the supermarket to get groceries on the way back.


    There was a novelty to this experience; Xu Juan had never been to a wet market. Of course, the fresh produce section of the supermarket wasn¡¯t quite the same as a wet market, but the smell of the raw ingredients was still very strong.


    Xu Juan was rather surprised by this. He had never expected Pei Yu to have such an ordinary side to him. Then again, on second thought, thinking of it this way was quite insensitive. Not everyone was like him, with a personal chef and a cleaning auntie to wait on him, so he never had to do anything himself.


    Pei Yu lived alone, how could he possibly not do grocery shopping and cook? No matter how deity-like a person was, a human still had mortal needs and had to eat.


    But his little lovers from the past did indeed pretend to be immortal. So that they could leave him with a good impression, they avoided all the unpleasant topics and only spoke of the latest perfumes and branded bags, or holidaying in Tibet and skiing in Switzerland. Who would have mentioned  ¡°the price of pork has gone up again today¡± to him?


    Xu Juan followed Pei Yu around in high spirits. He realized that he didn¡¯t recognize quite a lot of vegetables; Perhaps, when they were ripened and plated, he would recognize them.


    Pei Yu asked: ¡°What do you like to eat? Anything I should avoid?¡±


    Xu Juan smiled a little: ¡°I¡¯m good with anything. Go with your best menu and surprise me, Pei laoshi.¡±


    Pei Yu smiled as well: ¡°My cooking is average. If your expectations are too high, you¡¯ll be disappointed later.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not true. As long as it¡¯s cooked by you, I¡¯ll like it.¡± Xu Juan pushed the grocery cart for him, spouting flattery without an ounce of shame.


    Although Pei Yu had already been fed so much sugared water and bewitching potions by him, he had yet to be accustomed. His expression became subtly unnatural and he looked down to pick up two eggplants, tossing them into the cart.


    They had already gotten eggplants, did Pei Yu temporarily lose his memory?


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t stop laughing in his heart, but feigned bewilderment: ¡°Are we getting so many eggplants, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu briefly choked, and unexpectedly pulled himself together: ¡°Yeah, the extras go in the refrigerator.¡±


    ¡°I see, what a coincidence.¡± Xu Juan held onto his hand, ¡°I like eating eggplants the most. We really do have a tacit understanding, are you getting more eggplants to hint that I should stay over more often?¡±


    Pei Yu wasn¡¯t expecting him to develop the conversation in this direction. His expression became more unnatural, face stiffening as he said: ¡°We¡¯re just buying vegetables, why are you talking so much?¡± Then, he pulled his hand from his grip, ¡°Don¡¯t get handsy, push the cart properly.¡±


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Oh, so I¡¯m just a little cart-pusher.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t talk to him anymore. Since he couldn¡¯t out-talk him, he might as well shut up.


    Yc atf pbegcfs yjmx, We Aejc kjr olcjiis byfvlfca. Pa kjr Ufl Te¡¯r aegc ab vglnf, rb tf ifjcfv jujlcra atf qjrrfcufg rfja jcv ofii jriffq.


    Dea atf vglnf kjr rtbga, atf mjg rabqqfv yfobgf tf mbeiv ojii lcab j vffqfg riffq. We Aejc bqfcfv atf agecx jcv tfiqfv Ufl Te ajxf abcluta¡¯r ibba bea bcf ys bcf, atfc ygbeuta atfw eqrajlgr.


    They bought a lot of things: Vegetables, fruits, meat, seafood. Once they were home, Pei Yu picked out what he needed and put the rest away in the refrigerator. He brought the ingredients into the kitchen, then rinsed a plate of grapes for Xu Juan to eat first while he waited.


    Xu Juan was deeply moved by his attentiveness and initiative, asking perfunctorily: ¡°Do you want me to help?¡±


    ¡°What can you do?¡± Pei Yu saw right through him, ¡°Just stay here and behave, don¡¯t cause trouble for me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan had no choice but to return to the living room, lean against the sofa and start playing on his phone.


    He opened WeChat and gave a cursory scroll through his Moments, but didn¡¯t find any interesting content. He couldn¡¯t help but want to post something himself, so he called in the direction of the kitchen: ¡°Pei laoshi, can I take a photo of you?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Pei Yu rejected him flatly.


    ¡°Just from the back.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°Let me take just one, I want to PDA.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t say anything, it seemed he had given tacit consent.


    Xu Juan immediately opened the camera app and pointed the lens in the direction of the kitchen, taking a photo from afar.


    Due to the distance, Pei Yu¡¯s silhouette wasn¡¯t too obvious, but if Xu Juan were to post such a photo, anyone with eyes would know that the person he wanted to do PDA with was the one in the picture, so he accompanied it with a caption: ¡°Fell into the river of love.¡±


    Once the Moment was posted, comments by his close friends started coming in one by one¨C¨C


    Guo Shao: ¡°How many rivers has it been?¡±


    Hou Shijie: ¡°Congrats, cousin. You found true love again.¡±


    Xu Qingguang: ¡°Get yourself together. You¡¯re always fooling around, when will you be serious?¡±


    Xu Juan ignored his rascal friends and only responded to his sister: ¡°No need for your concern, just worry about your little foreigner boyfriend.¡±


    Xu Qingguang replied: ¡°You¡¯re asking for a beating.¡±


    Xu Juan let out a little laugh before tapping into Pei Yu¡¯s Moments, starting to scroll.


    But Pei Yu was also quite reserved on his social media and didn¡¯t have many highlights. Their circle of acquaintances were different as well, so he couldn¡¯t see any of Pei Yu¡¯s comments and likes. There really wasn¡¯t much to look at.


    While Xu Juan was getting bored, his WeChat suddenly vibrated, it was a message from Tang Sisi.


    It was obvious that Tang Sisi had seen the photo he posted to his Moments, and sent him a long string of exclamation marks, asking: ¡°Director Xu, you¡¯ve successfully pursued Pei laoshi? Are you for real!!!!!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re making a fuss,¡± Xu Juan said calmly, ¡°When destiny makes its move, it can¡¯t be stopped.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Tang Sisi was very curious and kept the questions coming, all of which revolved around wanting to know in detail how he managed to pursue Pei Yu.


    But Xu Juan would never pass on his own secret guide to a young lady like her. Even if he did, Tang Sisi would never be able to master it. He made up some stuff, teasing Tang Sisi for a bit before switching up his tone to a more serious one, warning her: ¡°Don¡¯t you spout any nonsense at school, understood?¡±


    Tang Sisi hurriedly said that she understood.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°I don¡¯t mind it, but your Pei laoshi¡¯s reputation is important. It won¡¯t be good if others talked about him behind his back, so don¡¯t tell your close friends either.¡±


    Tang Sisi was jealous of his status and was a little afraid of him to boot. Moreover, both he and Pei Yu knew something that they could use to have leverage over her, so she naturally agreed without hesitation, guaranteeing that word would definitely not get out.


    Xu Juan gave a lazy stretch and thought about it for a bit before sending Tang Sisi a red packet.


    He said: ¡°When your semester starts, send me your class timetable and help me keep an eye on Pei Yu. If you do well, I¡¯ll buy you a bag.¡±


    Tang Sisi was utterly overjoyed and completely went down the path of being a secret agent.


    Xu Juan continued chatting with her for a while. As fragrant aromas drifted out from the kitchen, Pei Yu walked out with two dishes in hand, a plate of hot food and a plate of fruit salad, then said to Xu Juan: ¡°Eat these first, don¡¯t stay hungry. Whatever¡¯s in the pot can cook slowly.¡±


    Since Xu Juan truly was famished, he ditched all formalities and went straight into eating.


    Pei Yu had already eaten dinner, but for the sake of accompanying him, he picked up his chopsticks and mindlessly ate one or two bites, occasionally picking up food to place into the other¡¯s bowl.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Pei laoshi, why are you this wonderful? You¡¯ve completely spoilt me, what am I supposed to do if you ever abandon me in the future?¡±


    Pei Yu gave a little huff: ¡°Even food can¡¯t stop your honeyed tongue.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m serious.¡± Xu Juan went around the coffee table and sat down beside Pei Yu, resting his chin on Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder, ¡°Will you please feed me? I¡¯m really tired, I don¡¯t have the strength to pick up my chopsticks.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    How should it be said¡­ When one was shameless, they were invincible.


    Being shy didn¡¯t exist in Xu Juan¡¯s book, a mere moment of bewilderment was enough for him to coax Pei Yu into personally feeding him.


    Even Pei Yu himself had probably never expected he would one day do something this romantic and idiotic. Xu Juan felt that the other¡¯s expression was long-suffering, that he was on the brink of overturning the table and leaving.


    But Pei Yu endured until the end.


    When the final dish was ready, Xu Juan really couldn¡¯t continue eating, raising his hands in surrender after trying a little, saying he was full.


    Pei Yu put the chopsticks down, suddenly saying: ¡°All right, then you stay seated. I¡¯ll tidy up the kitchen real quick and we can head downstairs for a walk.¡±


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t get it: ¡°Go downstairs for what walk?¡±


    ¡°For some exercise.¡± Pei Yu glanced at him, ¡°It¡¯s very late now, if the food doesn¡¯t digest, you won¡¯t sleep well at night.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan thought to himself: Pei Yu was sincerely being considerate of him, making sure to cover all grounds. But who said that exercising required going downstairs? They had eaten and drunk their fill, it was now the perfect opportunity to do some ¡°proper work¡±.


    Xu Juan helped Pei Yu out with keeping the dishes and utensils, following behind Pei Yu and heading into the kitchen.


    When Pei Yu turned around, he almost bumped into the other.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I remembered something.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°Pei laoshi, do you have that at home?¡±


    ¡°Have what?¡±


    ¡°You know, that.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    It dawned upon Pei Yu then, that he was referring to condoms. His face instantly flushed hot: ¡°I don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I just knew it.¡± Xu Juan nodded, unfazed, ¡°Good thing I have some in my car. When we head downstairs later, let¡¯s bring them back up with us.¡±


    His steering of the conversation into such a topic was seamless, but Pei Yu wasn¡¯t that shameless and wasn¡¯t used to it at all. Since he was nervous, he completely overlooked how odd it was that Xu Juan even had condoms in his car, and was instead angry and embarrassed: ¡°What are you planning? Didn¡¯t you say it was just sleeping?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already slept all day.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°I¡¯ve slept too much¡ª¡ª¡±


    His voice was pitched very low, his words utterly tender. With a single push of his hand, he pressed Pei Yu against the kitchen counter: ¡°Now I only want to sleep with you, is that okay, Pei Yu?¡±

 CH 15

    When Xu Juan wanted to sleep with someone, he had never once failed to get what he wanted.


    There was only one particularly embarrassing incident: He once had a female companion, she was quite pretty and her personality was decent too, she was just slightly problematic. Back then, Xu Juan had been together with her for over two months. It wasn¡¯t clear whose nonsensical advice she had taken; Perhaps she felt she should play hard-to-get with men, that the more reserved a girl was, the more value she possessed. As such, she kept stringing Xu Juan along, and even when they were both in bed she wouldn¡¯t let him touch, bashfully saying: ¡°I¡¯m still a virgin, you know.¡±


    Xu Juan had felt like his head was about to explode. What century was it already? She was still pulling such a trick.


    He indeed liked inexperienced beauties, but it wasn¡¯t the ¡°chastity¡± that he cared about, he merely found inexperienced people more adorable. Also, their reactions when he flirted with them were more entertaining.


    In the end, that girl had suddenly blurted ¡°I¡¯m a virgin¡± in bed and scared Xu Juan to death, fearing that he would have to take on a heavy responsibility if he slept with her. That night, they didn¡¯t do anything at all, and he ended things with her the next day.


    This incident once became a standing joke in their circle. Xu Juan didn¡¯t know why, but when he faced Pei Yu today, he suddenly remembered it again.


    He furtively asked Pei Yu: ¡°Pei laoshi, are you still a virgin?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu was already madly nervous when he was pressed against the kitchen counter, but after hearing those words, his face felt like it was burning to the point of melting. A trace of shame arose from his anger, but he put on a serious face and ordered: ¡°Get out, I want to clean the kitchen.¡±


    ¡°Why won¡¯t you answer me?¡± Xu Juan was a master of taking advantage. Pei Yu¡¯s attitude towards him today was too good and he no longer knew what limits were, ¡°I¡¯m just a little curious, that¡¯s all.¡±


    Pei Yu ignored him, pushing him towards the exit.


    Thus, Xu Juan had no option but to temporarily surrender. He suppressed his restless thoughts and obediently sat in the living room, waiting for Pei Yu to finish cleaning up so they could head downstairs for their walk.


    The evening breeze in late August was still sultry, warm as it fell upon their faces.


    The aura surrounding Pei Yu was even more scorching. He seemed to be provoked into anger by Xu Juan constantly going overboard with his words. He maintained a look of displeasure, refusing to chat.


    Xu Juan had no choice but to talk to himself: ¡°You¡¯re angry? Are you really angry? Pei Yu?¡±


    Pei Yu stayed silent and Xu Juan thought to himself: What¡¯s with him? Is it worth going to this extent? All I did was accidentally expose him as a virgin. It¡¯s not even a big deal.


    ¡°Hey.¡± Xu Juan prodded at Pei Yu¡¯s arm, ¡°I really didn¡¯t mean anything by that. I won¡¯t make fun of you, either. What are you being mad about?¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t answer.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Are you feeling ashamed of it? It¡¯s true that men enjoy bragging about the number of beautiful ladies they¡¯ve hooked up with, how experienced they are, how charismatic they are, but what do these all prove? A man¡¯s charm and value aren¡¯t dependent on how many people they¡¯ve slept with, don¡¯t you agree? That¡¯s how a loser thinks, I¡¯ve never thought of it that way, so of course, I would never judge you based on this. Even if you¡¯ve slept with many people, so what? The most important thing is enjoying the process, not using it as a way to show off. Am I right?¡±


    Xu Juan spouted word after word, but he didn¡¯t expect Pei Yu¡¯s focus to not be on this.


    ¡°Oh, so did you enjoy yourself?¡± Pei Yu suddenly said, ¡°Such spectacular understanding¡­ It seems your experience is plentiful.¡±


    We Aejc: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Qtja kjr atja mjiifv, rtbbalcu sbegrfio lc atf obba?


    ¡°P vlvc¡¯a.¡± We Aejc yfujc ab ofluc lccbmfcmf jujlc, ¡°P¡¯w pera ubbv ja vfvemlcu lc atfbgs, yea P tjnfc¡¯a gfjiis qea la lcab qgjmalmf. Qts vbc¡¯a kf vb la ilxf atlr, Ufl ijbrtl mjc qfgrbcjiis mtfmx jcv ifa wf xcbk tbk kfii P vb lc qgjmalmf?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    With just a few more words, he had become frivolous again.


    They walked a couple of rounds outside, then Xu Juan retrieved a box of condoms from his car and dragged Pei Yu, who was feigning calm, back upstairs.


    At this time, it was already past ten. Xu Juan undressed in front of Pei Yu, and since he wore less in the summer, it didn¡¯t take more than a moment.


    Standing fully naked at the bathroom door, he called out to Pei Yu: ¡°Pei Yu, let¡¯s shower together.¡±


    ¡°No, you first.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t sure if it was a misconception, but Pei Yu¡¯s voice seemed unnatural, it sounded like he was so nervous it was trembling.


    The slight tremor in that voice drifted over to his ear, teasing Xu Juan¡¯s heart until it became unbearable. At that moment, his infatuation with Pei Yu peaked ¨C¨C How could such an adorable person exist? Good looking, innocent and serious, and most importantly, such an amazing Pei Yu would belong to him tonight.


    Xu Juan showered and washed up as quickly as he could, and Pei Yu was next to enter the bathroom.


    While Pei Yu was taking a shower, he came into the bedroom and laid down on Pei Yu¡¯s bed, closing his eyes and counting down the time.


    It was as if time had slowed down.


    With every sluggish minute and second that elapsed, his emotions surged, and he absentmindedly realized that he had fallen in love with Pei Yu.


    But his love wasn¡¯t worth much, so he didn¡¯t take it seriously.


    Even so, despite it being a brief flicker of love, it was still something beautiful.


    Being brief didn¡¯t mean it wasn¡¯t real; At least, at this moment, Xu Juan was sincerely moved ¨C¨C If he wasn¡¯t moved even in the slightest, how could there be happiness?


    He counted to the twentieth minute, Pei Yu was finally done washing up.


    The door to the bedroom was opened, then closed again.


    The gentle ¡°click¡± of the door lock was like a signal and Xu Juan opened his eyes, catching his first glimpse of Pei Yu without clothes on.


    He was somewhat taken aback; Pei Yu was more impressive than he had imagined. It was a typical ¡°thin when dressed, buff when undressed¡± figure. His physique looked very good, he had all the expected contours and none of the lines were vague: His waist, legs, shoulders. Every part was flawless, if there was a camera, he could directly become the male model of a poster.


    But as for the size of his lower half, it was obstructed from view by the bath towel.


    That wasn¡¯t important, though.


    Xu Juan was a little excited. He leaned against the headboard and lifted the corner of the quilt, cueing for Pei Yu to get in bed.


    To his surprise, Pei Yu turned the lights off with a smack.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    In the darkness, the bed sank slightly beside him. Xu Juan felt a damp heat like an invisible compass, he moved in that direction and pulled Pei Yu into his embrace, pressing him into the bed.


    The body beneath him was tense, reactions inexperienced, like a secret treasure that had yet to be discovered, attracting all of his attention.


    Xu Juan was also strung with nerves, he was unable to control himself fully. While he was threading his right hand into Pei Yu¡¯s hair, he used a little too much force when gripping, feeling Pei Yu¡¯s instinctive resistance. He lowered his head and kissed him tenderly.


    Kissing in bed in the middle of the night wasn¡¯t like kissing during the day.


    The night was a breeding ground for hormones. When it was pitch dark, a person¡¯s sense of shame would be drastically reduced, and their rationality abandoned. The two of them became creatures dominated by pleasure.


    ¡°¡­¡­I never expected that you would agree.¡±


    In the interval between their intimacy, Xu Juan had his arms around Pei Yu¡¯s neck, his lips pressed to Pei Yu¡¯s as he spoke: ¡°I thought someone as traditional and who got shy as easily as you would never agree to me like this. Now I know, you¡¯re not as conservative as I thought. You¡¯d dare to do it, but you¡¯d be shyer than a little girl while doing it, am I right, Pei laoshi?¡±


    His voice carried a hint of a laugh, and without giving Pei Yu a chance to retort, he kissed him harder. He shoved all those unspoken words back into Pei Yu¡¯s mouth, personally bit them into pieces and swallowed them. Then, he used his tongue to nurse every distinct sound into gasps, both dominant and intimate, wet and full of sexual intent.


    Pei Yu was completely under his control, it took him a long while before he managed to squeeze out a sentence: ¡°How am I shy, I just¡­¡±


    ¡°Just what?¡±


    ¡°Find it very unreal.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°How long have we even known each other? And we¡¯ve actually reached this point. I feel insecure, it¡¯s like¡­ Just yesterday, I was too poor to eat, but today, I¡¯ve suddenly won a hundred million in the lottery. It¡¯s all like a dream, but it¡¯s also very¨C¨C¡±


    Xu Juan interrupted him: ¡°Am I a lottery ticket? I just adore you, that¡¯s a guarantee, not something random that depends on luck. Don¡¯t let your imagination run wild.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡± Pei Yu had experience in dating, but the kind of experience he had, there was no difference if he had it or not, he couldn¡¯t use it to gauge.


    The more intense the happiness and thrill that Xu Juan gave him, the deeper he fell into the clouds, until he was unable to tell left from right, up from down.


    Perhaps this was the feeling of falling in love. He found it difficult to believe that he had fallen for Xu Juan in such a short period of time. But since he himself was moved in this short period of time, it made sense that Xu Juan liked him, there shouldn¡¯t be a need to doubt.


    Pei Yu abandoned the struggle in his heart. He was kissed until he was dizzy, electricity running through his soul.


    Xu Juan smoothed his hand downwards from his shoulder until it rested against his waist.


    Xu Juan had gotten hard ages ago, but it wasn¡¯t unusual for him to have a reaction. Unexpectedly, Pei Yu was the same. The bath towel that had been covering him was loosened and tossed from the bed, and a hard cock was pressed against him. Because it was pressed too tightly to him, Xu Juan could feel Pei Yu becoming thicker, bumping between his thighs, unwavering, possessing suppressed energy, as if ready to attack.


    Indeed, all men were the same. It didn¡¯t matter how pure or shy they were out of bed, once they got in bed, their true nature would be exposed.


    This didn¡¯t surprise Xu Juan at all, but what he didn¡¯t expect was, Pei Yu was more aggressive than he had thought. He hadn¡¯t even gotten handsy yet, but Pei Yu suddenly turned over and reversed their positions, pressing down on him.


    Xu Juan was briefly stunned. Pei Yu embraced him clumsily, parting his legs with quite a bit of force, then tried to get in between them.


    His movements were unpracticed and the clumsy way he did things made it hurt a little. But Pei Yu¡¯s mannerisms were very tender, he held him very tightly, keeping them cheek to cheek, intimately kissing him.


    Xu Juan¡¯s scalp went numb and tingly, faintly getting the impression that he had become Pei Yu¡¯s prey, the kind of prey that was encircled within his arms to be slowly devoured.


    Sure enough, when Pei Yu saw that he was in a daze, he assumed the other disdained him for being too awkward, such that he didn¡¯t even know how to make love. But it was true that Pei Yu didn¡¯t quite understand how it worked between two men ¨C¨C he vaguely knew the way of things, but when it came to the little details, it was as if his eyes had been covered by a black cloth.


    Pei Yu was slightly embarrassed: ¡°Am I doing it wrong?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Yeah. Lie down, let me do it.¡± The atmosphere was too awkward, Xu Juan¡¯s mood had already halved. But he couldn¡¯t just tell Pei Yu upfront that he had never been fucked, neither did he want to be, he only wanted to be the one doing the fucking.


    These words were too uncouth, he feared that his innocent deity wouldn¡¯t be able to take them.


    ¡°Let go of me first.¡± Xu Juan convinced himself to be more tolerant, Pei Yu was a rookie who didn¡¯t know anything, this shouldn¡¯t be offensive ¨C¨C Besides, this wasn¡¯t something to be classified as offensive or not, Pei Yu was the partner he was dating, not a little celebrity that he was sponsoring.


    Xu Juan inhaled softly: ¡°Did you hear me? Don¡¯t hug me so tightly¡­¡±


    He gave Pei Yu a little push, but unexpectedly, Pei Yu refused to let go, keeping him trapped under him: ¡°Is my technique too poor?¡± Pei Yu asked him softly, ¡°You seem upset?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m not upset.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re upset.¡± Pei Yu seemed to care about this very much. He wasn¡¯t very confident in bed affairs, to begin with, and after receiving such an unfavourable response, he was now more apprehensive.


    He endured it for a while, then gave Xu Juan a sudden kiss, his face flushed. As if throwing all caution to the wind, he said: ¡°What should I do, Xu Juan, will you teach me?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    How troublesome. Indeed, messing around with straight men would result in retribution. Oh, wait, retribution had already arrived ¨C¨C Straight Man Pei was absolutely unaware that he could be the one getting fucked. The moment they got into bed, the other only wanted to fuck him.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help imagining himself being fucked, and the visual had him in a daze for quite a few seconds.


    But he had to admit, Pei Yu was very adorable, and his clumsiness was also adorable. However, it was also comical to some degree. It made him feel like he wasn¡¯t acting in an explicit adult film, but instead in a damn romcom.


    So much so that his affectionate mood was spoilt. Briefly put: He was no longer horny.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡¯m a little tired.¡± Xu Juan chickened out for the first time in bed. He gave Pei Yu a half-hearted kiss, ¡°Let¡¯s rest earlier, we¡¯ll discuss this next time.¡±


    Once said, he squirmed out of Pei Yu¡¯s arms and turned around to lay down, leaving Pei Yu with a view of his back.


    ¡°¡­¡­Xu Juan.¡± He heard Pei Yu call out to him, at a loss, he even sounded a little hurt.


    But Xu Juan was also very hurt. He had just fallen in love with Pei Yu, but at this moment, he felt he no longer loved him that much. As expected, his love was worthless, to be completely wiped out when met with the slightest breeze.


    When Pei Yu was faced with his fluctuating attitude and saw how he was suddenly ignoring him, he got angry as well.


    Peeved, he abruptly laid down with his back to Xu Juan, reaching out with a sudden tug, pulling the quilt over him completely to his own side, not leaving him even one corner.


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±

 CH 16

    Xu Juan was used to pulling all-nighters and it was as if his body clock was half a world away from Pei Yu¡¯s. While Pei Yu was asleep, he was counting stars; One star, two stars¡­ he counted until two in the morning before, thank god, he finally got sleepy.


    This was truly a catastrophic night.


    In his dream, Xu Juan had a fight with Pei Yu. He had wanted to mercilessly avenge what he had missed out on, but unfortunately, the him in his dream was still soft-hearted when confronting Pei Yu¡¯s face. He couldn¡¯t go through with it. Instead, it was Pei Yu who pushed him to the ground and gave him a good beating.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t remember exactly how he was beaten up, but when he opened his eyes, he realized that he, very untimely, had morning wood.


    His phone showed that it was 9:40 am.


    Pei Yu got up without fail at 6:30 am every day, so now he was the only one left in bed. He didn¡¯t know if Pei Yu was at home. Was he in the living room? In the kitchen? The study? Or had he gone out?


    Xu Juan¡¯s gaze returned to the tightly-shut bedroom door. He stared at it for a few seconds, making sure that no one would enter before letting his guard down and helping himself to resolve his problem.


    ¡ª¡ª This was too embarrassing for him.


    He was clearly such an accomplished playboy, claimed to be the master when it came to love affairs. A single call from him would be enough to summon a hundred beauties willing to sleep with him, and yet here he was, huddled in Pei Yu¡¯s tiny apartment of barely 80 square metres, having to jerk himself off!


    Xu Juan recalled last night¡¯s events, and the fire in his heart leapt higher.


    He finished in pain, then tidied up a little, but when he was about to get off the bed, he realized that he had no idea where he had tossed his clothes off to.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Juan took a few seconds to calm himself, then called out the door, ¡°Pei Yu.¡±


    There was movement in the living room; Pei Yu was home. But he only heard the sound of footsteps, and they weren¡¯t headed in the direction of the bedroom ¡ª¡ª Pei Yu was deliberately ignoring him.


    How could he have such a temper?


    We Aejc¡¯r jcufg revvfcis reyrlvfv, tf fnfc ofia la kjr j ilaaif oeccs. Ciatbeut atflg gfijalbcrtlq kjrc¡¯a jii atja qgbqfg, atfs tjv vfolclafis cjlifv atf jawbrqtfgf bo j ibnfgr¡¯ dejggfi. Ktlr rbga bo offilcu kjr ragjcuf obg We Aejc, jcv ktja kjr ragjcuf tjv cbnfias. Qtja tjv cbnfias, ygbeuta vfiluta.


    Feigning a couple of coughs, Xu Juan dragged his voice out and called out again: ¡°Pei Yu¡ª¡ª¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t say a thing.


    Xu Juan knew he could hear him: ¡°Pei Yu, what are you doing? Where are my clothes? Where have you taken my clothes to?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The sound of footsteps approached, slowly walking over to the entrance. The door opened with a click.


    Pei Yu dressed very meticulously even at home, in a white shirt and suit pants. It was indeed very dashing, but when Xu Juan thought about it, he realized he had never seen the other wear anything else. Could it be that he was the person of legends, the sort who owned ten identical sets of clothes and when he changed, no one would be able to tell?


    But that face was cold as ice, saying to him: ¡°The clothes are in the washing machine. Are you heading out?¡±


    ¡°Not going out, but I can¡¯t remain bared like this, can I? It¡¯s unsightly.¡± Xu Juan had already tossed all the unpleasantries from the previous night to the back of his mind. Since it was a lovers¡¯ quarrel, then one party would have to yield first. He took the initiative to say, ¡°Are you still mad, Pei Yu? Last night was my fault.¡±


    Pei Yu leaned against the doorframe and unexpectedly asked: ¡°How was it your fault?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Juan was speechless for a moment. His apology wasn¡¯t sincere, he had assumed he would be able to brush it off with a couple of words, but under Pei Yu¡¯s probing, he had no choice but to muster up his courage and say, ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have neglected you when the mood was so good. I¡¯ve wronged you.¡±


    The icy look on Pei Yu¡¯s face didn¡¯t warm the slightest, he continued to gaze coldly at him.


    Xu Juan was also staring at Pei Yu, thinking: He looks even better than usual when he¡¯s being all cold like this, how could this make sense? Is it because a thorned rose is more captivating than a lily?


    He was filled with flowery praise and adoration, but he merely appreciated in silence and didn¡¯t act on it.


    Pei Yu¡¯s sharp eyes found him spacing out, and his expression became worse: ¡°Xu Juan, you don¡¯t actually like me at all, do you? You only like my outer appearance? You wanted to sleep with me last night and I agreed, but you went back on it halfway. You dislike me for being unskilled, don¡¯t you? But you clearly knew that I¡¯m inexperienced, are you unwilling to be even a little patient with me? What exactly do you like about me, you like that my face looks good? Once you¡¯ve realized that all I have going for me is my skin, that all I am is someone stupid and old-fashioned, someone below your expectations, you¡¯re no longer enthusiastic?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was dumbfounded: ¡°No, no. That¡¯s not it.¡±


    Pei Yu said: ¡°It is.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    There they were, one at the door and the other on the bed, eyes meeting across the space with the atmosphere around them blistering hot. All of a sudden, Xu Juan found himself a little nervous.


    It was uncertain where this nervousness came from, perhaps it was due to Pei Yu¡¯s unwavering stare. That gaze made him appear furious, but really, it was to mask the hurt that he was unwilling to show on the surface. Those words had already been very clearly articulated; His actions had hurt Pei Yu¡¯s self-esteem, hurt his feelings, even, and now he wanted his consolation.


    That he wanted his consolation was already proof enough that he really liked him.


    If he didn¡¯t like him this much, then after being so provoked last night, he wouldn¡¯t be here right now. The other would have chased him out the door without a word.


    ¡°You¡¯re overthinking, it¡¯s really not like that.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°How could I dislike you? I did that because¡­ uh, you know how when two men are in bed, there¡¯s a top and a bottom, right? Actually, many people enjoy being the bottom, because they think it feels good. But I¡¯ve only ever been a top, Pei Yu, do you get me?¡±


    Being an ¡°outsider¡±, Pei Yu wasn¡¯t familiar with the terms he had used. Blankly, he said: ¡°So it was because you wanted to top, but I had trapped you beneath me, and that upset you?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Putting it that way wasn¡¯t wrong, per se, but why did it sound so funny coming from Pei Yu?


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help it, sprawling face-down onto the quilt and bursting into mad laughter.


    He couldn¡¯t stop, and Pei Yu got annoyed again, rushing over to the side of the bed, disgruntled. He shoved him harder into the mattress, bearing down on top of him firmly: ¡°I¡¯ll keep you underneath me, what can you do about it? You don¡¯t like being on the bottom? I¡¯ll make sure you¡¯re the one at the bottom. If you want to push me away, why don¡¯t you give it a try, hm?¡±


    ¡°Stop it, hey.¡± Xu Juan¡¯s lips were bitten, but he still couldn¡¯t stop laughing.


    Pei Yu¡¯s anger had dissipated, and he suddenly kissed him hard.


    ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to do that again next time.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°I don¡¯t know how dating works, how anything works, so you¡¯re not allowed to bully me.¡±


    ¡°Oh, but what if I insist on bullying you?¡±


    ¡°Then I won¡¯t give you attention ever again.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°I don¡¯t like being angry, or arguing with others. If you want to be with me, then be good. I like taking things seriously, dating and work are the same and both require sincerity. I know I don¡¯t have much, whatever I can give you, you already own, you don¡¯t lack anything. But I¡­ I will devote myself to treating you well, so treat me better too, Xu Juan.¡±


    ¡°Why are you saying these all of a sudden?¡± Xu Juan put his arms around Pei Yu¡¯s neck, winding his fingers together over his back.


    There was a faint warmth emanating from Pei Yu¡¯s cheeks: ¡°Because I think I¡¯ve fallen for you. I gave it some thought and I don¡¯t think it¡¯s anything I shouldn¡¯t admit, neither do I need to. You won¡¯t make fun of me, will you?¡±


    ¡°Of course not, I barely have enough time to adore you.¡±


    Xu Juan¡¯s heart quivered. He thought, a person as lovable as Pei Yu, it would be pretty nice if they could stay together for a longer time. He had never tried dating someone long-term, but perhaps this was a good time to try.

 CH 17

    Xu Juan was always someone who lacked empathy. It wasn¡¯t that he couldn¡¯t understand how others were feeling, he was just used to adopting a ¡°bystander¡¯s perspective¡± for everything, and found it hard to ¡°put himself in their shoes¡±.


    And so, when he liked someone, it didn¡¯t matter to him if they liked him back. As long as their attitude was good, he would continue to be infatuated, because what he really liked was that self-satisfaction.


    Speaking of good looks, Pei Yu was of course especially good looking.


    Pei Yu was very refined, he was naive, easily flustered, but strict, sincere and straightforward. Perhaps to the majority of people, these traits weren¡¯t highly sought after in men of society. However, before he was a man, he was first and foremost a person.


    With regards to appreciating men and women, Xu Juan had two different sets of standards. But if he were to disregard gender, then he liked people like Pei Yu.


    To be honest, when they first got to know each other, he hadn¡¯t given it that much thought. Now that he had, when Pei Yu said he liked him, he was thoroughly moved. So much so that an impulsive thought erupted in his head: ¡°Why must I insist on being a fuckboy? Can¡¯t I just stay with Pei Yu forever?¡±


    Unfortunately, being a scumbag wasn¡¯t an option, it was intrinsic.


    For a person like Xu Juan who only cared about himself, suddenly becoming sentimental was comparable to altering him at the genetic level; It just wasn¡¯t realistic.


    But this didn¡¯t hinder Xu Juan¡¯s self-gratification. Once he got into the headspace of his feelings, he had already decided he was going to date Pei Yu for a long time.


    Upon first glance, ¡°long-term¡± was a word full of deep affection. He had never expected he would one day be deep in affection, and couldn¡¯t help but to feel slightly carried away. Indeed, love was a magical force.


    In high spirits, he posted a Moment, attached was a picture of Pei Yu, he had managed to take it while they were messing about in bed earlier.


    This was a boyfriend photo taken in close proximity; Pei Yu¡¯s face was plastered to the lens, his hair all mussed up by him, a faint flush on his cheeks as he blocked his face with a hand, deliberately obstructing his photo-taking. But his eyes peeked out from between the gaps in his fingers, gazing at him with nearly overflowing mirth.


    Xu Juan had fallen into a daze after taking that picture. He wasn¡¯t sure if it was due to his amazing photo-taking skills or because of the heart-fluttering way in which Pei Yu was looking at him. Or perhaps, it was due to both.


    After messing about in bed for a while, Pei Yu had gone off to make Xu Juan some noodles for breakfast.


    Xu Juan felt so comfortable lazing around Pei Yu¡¯s home that he didn¡¯t feel like leaving, only going off past noon after freeloading some lunch.


    He hadn¡¯t wanted to leave initially, but he hadn¡¯t been properly going to work the past few days, so there were a bunch of things that needed settling back at the company. He had even arranged to meet his sister tonight ¡ª¡ª Xu Qingguang left the country to perform last month and was returning today, she had specifically requested for him to pick her up at the airport.


    We Aejc obecv la rbwfktja glvlmeiber.


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    Yo atfrf rlz qfbqif, fzmievlcu Lbe Vtlplf, cjaegjiis, atf gfra: Llr ojatfg tjv atberjcvr bo atlcur ab afcv ab fnfgs vjs, jcv kjr jr yers jr atf ifjvfg bo j mbecags. Llr wbatfg tjv yfmbwf wbgf byrfrrfv klat rbmljilhlcu jr rtf uba bc lc sfjgr, jcv kjr mfcagji ab atflg mlgmif bo eqqfg-mijrr ijvlfr, rb rtf kjr gjatfg yers jr kfii. Llr bivfg ygbatfg kjr atf remmfrrbg ab tlr ojatfg¡¯r yerlcfrr, mbwqjgjyif ab jc tflg bo j atgbcf, jcv kjr sfa jcbatfg yers wjc, klat jyrbieafis cb alwf ab qjs jaafcalbc ab tlw.


    Only his older sister Xu Qingguang would occasionally chat with Xu Juan, but their sibling relationship was quite artificial. In the past, there was even a joke that came out of it ¨C¨C Xu Juan had accidentally seduced his brother-in-law, and they had almost hooked up. Only after the deed was done did he find out that the pretty boy was actually his sister¡¯s boyfriend.


    Xu Qingguang went mad with rage and went home to tell on him, causing his old man to cancel his card. Thus, Xu Juan spent half a year living like a beggar. From then on, he had harboured hard feelings for Xu Qingguang, always on the lookout for an opportunity to take revenge. Likewise, he expected that Xu Qingguang definitely wanted to take revenge on him as well.


    As artificial as their relationship may be, since Xu Qingguang had taken the initiative in wanting to meet up, he was willing to go. Even if it was merely because he wanted to see how Xu Qingguang¡¯s newly-done nose looked ¡°offline¡±, without the use of beauty filters.


    But this wasn¡¯t something Xu Juan dared to say directly. His older sister was widely reputed as a natural beauty of a pianist. Should he dare to expose her, Xu Qingguang would no doubt send him to the Arctic with a kick.


    Xu Juan spent the entire afternoon in the office, chatting with Pei Yu on WeChat while he did his work. Once it was time to clock off, he drove to the airport to pick up the beauty of a pianist.


    This time, Xu Qingguang didn¡¯t let him wait too long, he was able to pick up his passenger at seven. The two then left the airport and went to a nearby commercial district to eat.


    Xu Juan especially despised eating with his older sister, because this beauty not only wished to eat good food, she also wouldn¡¯t stop whining about losing weight and maintaining her figure, taking a good half a year to pick her order.


    However, this was a very unusual day. He watched as Xu Qingguang randomly ticked two strokes onto the menu before handing it off to the server and turning to beam at him.


    Xu Juan¡¯s entire back iced over under her gaze: ¡°What¡¯s wrong, jie?¡±


    Xu Qingguang said: ¡°I¡¯ve good news for you. Mom wouldn¡¯t let me say anything, so don¡¯t tell her it was me who told you, yeah?¡±


    ¡°Are you certain it¡¯s good news?¡±


    ¡°Of course. You¡¯re telling me that finding a wife to marry isn¡¯t good news?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Good, my ass.


    Xu Qingguang was obviously finding delight amidst disaster: ¡°It¡¯s, you know, Guo Shao¡¯s younger cousin Yue Xuelin. You¡¯ve met her before, she was at your birthday party last year.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I remember.¡± Xu Juan had never once provoked bossy young ladies like her. Firstly, it was because dealing with princess syndrome was annoying. Secondly, the circle was quite small and their parents were often in contact with each other. If trouble arose, it wouldn¡¯t be good for their reputations.


    ¡°What¡¯s Mom playing at?¡± Xu Juan didn¡¯t get it, ¡°You and da-ge aren¡¯t even married yet, why would she rush me to?¡±


    ¡°Mom probably wants to hold a grandson.¡± Xu Qingguang said, ¡°Da-ge is so busy and prioritizes work over everything, where would he find the time to get married and have kids? Although I have a boyfriend, I¡¯ve already said I¡¯m DINK, whoever wants kids can go have their own. Aren¡¯t you the only one left, then?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Qingguang continued: ¡°In any case, Mom¡¯s just worried about you. She thinks it¡¯s inappropriate for you to always be fooling around and that you should settle down. After all, once your birthday passes next month, you¡¯ll be almost thirty¨C¨C¡±


    ¡°Twenty six, thanks.¡±


    ¡°Right, what¡¯s the difference? Isn¡¯t twenty six basically almost thirty? You¡¯re not young anymore, do you still think yourself a frivolous youth? You¡¯re constantly indulging in alcohol and living a life of debauchery, aren¡¯t you worried it¡¯ll lead to kidney deficiency?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was irked beyond belief. He just knew Xu Qingguang had only hit him up with bad intentions. He hadn¡¯t even taken a few bites of his food, but he had already been lectured to the point of getting a stomachache.


    After much difficulty, he managed to send this great educator away, and got home close to ten.


    He had only just parked his car in the garage, yet to get out before he was hit with a sudden impulse to change his mind. He turned around and drove in the direction of Hong Uni.


    Arriving at his destination, Xu Juan called Pei Yu from downstairs: ¡°Pei laoshi, have you gone to bed yet?¡±


    Pei Yu went to bed promptly at ten every night, and he had just fallen asleep not long ago before the call woke him up. But he wasn¡¯t angry, asking: ¡°What is it?¡±


    Xu Juan said: ¡°I¡¯m in a bad mood, wanna see you.¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡± Pei Yu seemed to have already gotten up, and there were quiet rustling noises from his end.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Nothing happened, I¡¯m just in a bad mood. I¡¯m downstairs, will you come out for a bit, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°How about you come up instead.¡± Pei Yu¡¯s tone was very gentle, somewhat husky from having just woken up, ¡°Sleep-over tonight. If there¡¯s anything upsetting you, tell me about it?¡±


    ¡°Nope, why don¡¯t you come out? Let¡¯s go somewhere.¡± Xu Juan said.


    ¡°Where?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take you stargazing.¡± The night was quiet and still in the university town. Xu Juan¡¯s low voice was both romantic and seductive, ¡°At my secret base. Do you want to take a look?¡±

 CH 18

    To drive two hours out of the city in the middle of the night, then continue up a mountain path for another hour by foot, to a deserted peak for stargazing ¨C¨C Was this romantic?


    Xu Juan felt that it was quite romantic.


    But if having a romantic date with Pei Yu was all he wanted, he could have found a more chill or perfect program that would have had similar results. It would satisfy him, and it would also satisfy Pei Yu. They wouldn¡¯t have had to go through such trouble, escaping out to the isolated countryside.


    He just wasn¡¯t in a good mood and wanted to unwind with some company.


    ¡°Are we still going further up?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, the view is better up front.¡±


    Xu Juan held Pei Yu¡¯s hand every step up the peak of the mountain. This area was north of Hong City and designated as a forest park, but this route was very remote and was no longer considered part of the park. Pei Yu was unfamiliar with the route and just followed Xu Juan absentmindedly.


    They were at the tail end of August and the warmest season in Hong City was close to passing.


    The night breeze in the countryside was cool and refreshing, the insects chirping incessantly. Compared to city streets filled with neon lights, the summer nights here were more spirited; Even the shadows of trees were alive, swaying with the mountain breeze as if in a ceaseless battle.


    Pei Yu briefly stumbled on a protruding branch and all remnants of sleep were swept away. Xu Juan was quick to catch him: ¡°Be careful.¡±


    ¡°Mm.¡± Pei Yu leaned closer to Xu Juan¡¯s side, walking with him to the end of the mountain path.


    There was a huge stone platform before them, obviously man-made, but this small hill wasn¡¯t fully developed yet. Upon closer look, it seemed to have been under development, but due to some reason, it was eventually abandoned, becoming a weed garden that no one was interested in.


    Those weeds were thick and sturdy, bursting out from between the stone seams. As they made their way through the weeds and onto the stone platform, their shoes and pant legs caught onto a layer of dew, the air thick and damp with the scent of soil and grass.


    ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± Xu Juan turned off the flashlight on his phone, and in the pitch-black of this hilltop, he raised his head to look above him, ¡°Can you see the stars? Not just one or two, but a whole sky full of stars, Pei Yu.¡±


    Xu Juan turned to smile faintly at Pei Yu: ¡°Whenever I was in a bad mood, I would come here. But it¡¯s rare for me to be in a bad mood, so¡­ I haven¡¯t really been here much, or brought anyone else. This place is a little special to me, but it¡¯s not that I¡¯m keeping it hidden on purpose. It¡¯s just that I never had the opportunity to share it, or had anyone to share it with.¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t look at the stars, he only looked at him: ¡°Why is this place special?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a long story.¡± Xu Juan suddenly sat down and reached up to tug at Pei Yu¡¯s pant leg. Pei Yu could only sit with him, listening as he spoke, ¡°I was very obedient in the past, very hardworking, I¡¯ve said this before, haven¡¯t I? But I haven¡¯t told you, after I grew up, I became unwilling to study hard.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°On my twentieth birthday, my mom organized a grand coming-of-age ceremony for me. She invited many friends, relatives and notable public figures. When it was time to make a wish and blow out the candles, everyone present was looking at me. They were waiting for me to, very meticulously and solemnly, announce my birthday wish. I thought for a really long time, but had no idea what I desired. I¡¯ve learnt so much, I can pretty much do everything, but when I thought about the different directions in which my future could play out, none of them excited me. I didn¡¯t know why I was exhausting myself to the bone learning all these things, and for what purpose? Because my older brother had grown up this way and was successful, because my older sister, too, had grown up this way and was successful, so I should follow in their footsteps and become like them?¡±


    Xu Juan leaned back on both hands, head tilted to gaze at the vast, starry sky.


    ¡°Back then, I thought, why couldn¡¯t I just be myself? To not let anyone else plan for me, to courageously walk my own path.¡± Xu Juan let out a faint laugh, ¡°Once I had this idea, I was convinced. When the banquet ended that night, I drove my very first car aimlessly out of the city and got here by accident. Then, just like right now, I laid here on this stone platform, gazed upon this starry sky and thought for an entire night.¡±


    ¡°Qtja kfgf sbe atlcxlcu jybea?¡±


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    Cujlc, We Aejc ijeutfv: ¡°P kjr bcis akfcas atja sfjg. Ciatbeut P kjr kfii-ifjgca, P vlv cba ageis ecvfgrajcv wjcs atlcur. P tjvc¡¯a fnfc wlcuifv klat rbmlfas sfa, tbk mbeiv P qbrrlyis tjnf mbwf eq klat jcs ugjcv qglcmlqifr? Kb yf tbcfra, P cb ibcufg gfwfwyfg fzjmais tbk P ofia atfc. Rbk atja P gfmjii, P rerqfma P kjr pera qertfv ab atf yglcx bo lcrjclas vef ab atf rmtfveif ws wbw tjv qijccfv obg wf jcv kjcafv ab lcveiuf wsrfio obg bcmf. Dea P kjr rts jybea vlgfmais vblcu atja, rb P obecv wsrfio j rbqtlralmjafv gfjrbc jcv erfv olcvlcu ws kjs lc ilof jr jc fzmerf obg la. Yc bcf tjcv, P obbifv ws ojwlis, bc atf batfg, P obbifv wsrfio. Ccv atfc¡­ P mbwqifafis nffgfv boo ws lclalji agjpfmabgs, cbk la¡¯r pera jc jyrbieaf wfrr jcv P vbc¡¯a fnfc xcbk ktfgf fnfgs aegc ifjvr ab.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Although Xu Juan¡¯s words were that of him venting, his expression didn¡¯t match, Pei Yu couldn¡¯t figure out what he was thinking, ¡°So were you in a bad mood today because of this? What happened?¡±


    ¡°Not much.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°Got lectured by my older sister earlier tonight. She passed on a message from my mom, she wants me to settle down earlier. Get married and have kids.¡±


    Pei Yu was bewildered, tightening his grip on the other¡¯s hand.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid. She¡¯s only saying it to pressure me a little. I guess my mom finds this son of hers particularly useless, and thinks that the only possible thing I could contribute to this house is producing an heir to continue the family line.¡±


    ¡°How are you useless.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Perhaps it was due to a biased lover¡¯s gaze, but Pei Yu always spoke sincerely of his good points. Xu Juan shifted closer on his side, then lazily sprawled onto Pei Yu¡¯s thigh.


    It was true that his mood was ruined by Xu Qingguang today, but if he had to point out the core of what truly bothered him, was it being forced to marry? Not really.


    Just as he¡¯d said, it was rare for him to get into a bad mood, because he was very accepting, so not much could hurt him. But he wasn¡¯t a monk who had achieved nirvana, he had yet to become disillusioned with the world. Of all the things Xu Qingguang had said today, while nothing else truly mattered, the phrase ¡°almost thirty¡± had deeply disturbed him.


    Time gave one the feeling of slowly and continuously being oppressed, and yet, it made not a sound.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t imagine his life after thirty or forty. Would he still be indulging in worldly pleasures? It didn¡¯t seem like a bad thing, but it sure didn¡¯t seem like anything good, either.


    While he occasionally had mood drops, he had never felt pain.


    But this pain was intense. It was precise, and could be traced to its source: His ¡°bad mood¡± was like a receding wave of frustration and aimlessness, built from years of mundanity. It wasn¡¯t usually noticed, but occasionally, when met with something that brought him slight discomfort, it would buoy quietly to the surface. It would make him realize, all of a sudden: So I¡¯m actually not happy.


    ¡ª¡ª Am I not happy?


    If I¡¯m not happy, then how many people in this world would dare declare themselves happy?


    This was the usual thought process Xu Juan used to console himself; He had no need for someone else¡¯s comfort. It wasn¡¯t his intention to reveal so much to Pei Yu tonight, but under Pei Yu¡¯s deeply tender gaze, he couldn¡¯t help but put on a show.


    And the main character of that show was modelled after himself.


    ¡°I¡¯m spouting nonsense, it¡¯s fine if you just accompany me.¡± Xu Juan reached an arm up to hook around Pei Yu¡¯s neck, tugging him down for a kiss.


    ¡°How beautiful the stars are.¡± He sighed quietly, ¡°Sometimes, I think that the starscape is the most inconceivable sight. It¡¯s distant¡­ Romantic, eternal. If I could, I¡¯d make my bed here and open my eyes every day to this endless Milky Way.¡±


    ¡°Are you having a hard time these days?¡± Pei Yu was more discerning than he¡¯d imagined, he suddenly said, ¡°I think there¡¯s something that¡¯s deeply bothering you. Is it related to all the things you said earlier?¡±


    Xu Juan rubbed at his nose: ¡°I guess, but it¡¯s not worth a mention.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu let him pillow his head on his thigh, threaded his fingers into his hair and gently massaged his scalp: ¡°It¡¯s inevitable that some things in life go against one¡¯s wishes. Don¡¯t be upset.¡±


    ¡°Has anything ever gone against your wishes, Pei laoshi?¡± Xu Juan was made a little sleepy by how comfortable the massage was, letting out an involuntary yawn.


    Pei Yu said: ¡°Yeah, there are many things that go against my wishes.¡±


    ¡°Such as?¡±


    ¡°I published a book this year.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°It was about research on the history of the Ming Dynasty. I started writing this book when I was a first-year postgraduate student. It went on after graduation, and even while I was working, I kept building up the content. It took me quite a few years to write it. Finally, there was a publishing house willing to publish my book. But just before it went on the market, the editor-in-charge said that the history of the Ming Dynasty had already been thoroughly researched over and over. There were too many existing books about it on the market, and neither was I a senior researcher in this field. If we wanted it to sell well, some little tricks were necessary.¡±


    ¡°What kind of tricks?¡±


    ¡°She told me to get a set of photos taken and have them printed on the cover of the book. She even wanted me to create a Weibo account and post selfies regularly.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    This was obviously a well-worn marketing technique that was extensively used by good looking female writers. Would this work for good looking male writers, though?


    However, it was true that in the current age, fans dominated the economy. Although talented individuals need not rely on their faces for income, if someone as good looking as Pei Yu first did a face reveal to attract a hoard of followers, it would be considered a shortcut.


    But he was an academic, what use were these kinds of shortcuts? Attracting fans who were only interested in his face to buy his book, then becoming an internet sensation, what was the point?


    ¡°I refused to.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°But since the contract had already been signed, I couldn¡¯t go to another publisher. After that, it was my uncle who helped me deal with the issue, the book was published as I had intended without my pictures.¡±


    ¡°And then?¡±


    ¡°And then¡ª¡ª¡± Pei Yu scoffed, ¡°It indeed didn¡¯t sell well, there were only a handful of readers. Back then I was extremely dispirited, since I had put in so much effort, it was my blood, sweat and tears. But in the end, I still accepted it, my writing was probably too boring. I often find myself terribly dull, even in academics. When I¡¯m fascinated by something, in my heart, it is vivid and full of colour. But I can never express it very well.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan thought to himself, wasn¡¯t this the opposite of him? His heart was empty, but his mouth was full of flowery nonsense.


    But he really hadn¡¯t expected Pei Yu to have such dilemmas.


    When Tang Sisi had sent him Pei Yu¡¯s CV, he vaguely recalled seeing some research on the history of the Ming Dynasty, but he wasn¡¯t sure how reputable they were in the field. He wouldn¡¯t understand anyway. At a glance, he had only thought Pei Yu particularly impressive, how could he have known that there was such a backstory to him?


    He could understand, though.


    Xu Juan sighed: ¡°Your situation is indeed something that goes against your wishes. In comparison, mine can only be called making a big deal out of nothing, how can I say that it goes against my wishes¡­¡±


    However, Pei Yu said: ¡°You can¡¯t conclude it like that. The temperature of water is only known by the one who drinks it, so how can others know for sure if you¡¯re truly having a hard time or not?¡±


    He cupped Xu Juan¡¯s face in both hands, then lowered his head to kiss him.


    It was an exceedingly tender kiss. It was comforting, a sort of comfort that Xu Juan had never experienced.


    A ruler who was aloof and accustomed to being isolated at the top, playing others into the palm of his hand, would never reveal his own weaknesses.


    As such, Xu Juan was unwilling to speak in too much detail. Despite that, he abruptly realized that Pei Yu had caught him.


    Pei Yu was obviously a blockhead, but at this moment, it seemed as if Xu Juan had underestimated and overlooked his hidden intelligence. Now, he had been bested and the other had his throat in a choke-hold.


    Xu Juan¡¯s honeyed tongue stuttered to a stop, like a dwindling flame. He remained dazed for a few seconds, then heard Pei Yu say: ¡°Others may not understand you, but may I? Let me know you better, Xu Juan.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Juan grabbed onto Pei Yu¡¯s hand, taking the opportunity to say, ¡°So that we may get to know each other more conveniently, let¡¯s move in together, Pei laoshi!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­ Why is your head constantly filled with stuff like this?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to?¡± Xu Juan placed Pei Yu¡¯s hand by his lips, kissing his ring finger and deliberately saying, ¡°It¡¯s fine if you don¡¯t want to, just pretend I never said it.¡±


    ¡°But you¡¯ve already said it!¡± Pei Yu snatched his hand back, then leaned down and bit him hard.


    T/N: this chapter was a little nostalgic to me, have you guys ever gone through a quarter-life crisis like Xu Juan? because i have (currently am) and it hit harder than expected. although, of course!! i have different coping mechanisms aha. Pei Yu is such an ideal partner¡­

 CH 19

    Xu Juan suggested they move in together, and Pei Yu agreed.


    But after making that decision, they realized that they hadn¡¯t yet solved the issue of where they were going to stay.


    If comfort was the only criterion, then no doubt Xu Juan¡¯s villa was more comfortable than Pei Yu¡¯s faculty housing. However, September was quickly approaching and the semester was about to begin at Hong Uni. Xu Juan¡¯s house was too far away from the school, so it wasn¡¯t convenient for Pei Yu to go to work.


    Conversely, if he moved into Pei Yu¡¯s apartment, once the semester began, not only would his neighbours and colleagues catch them entering and leaving together, but there would also be many students in the area that they couldn¡¯t avoid. It wouldn¡¯t take even a week for rumours regarding ¡°Pei laoshi and his boyfriend living together¡± to go rampant.


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t afraid of anything, but he didn¡¯t want to negatively impact Pei Yu.


    Of course, this was the more superficial reason. Honestly speaking, he was just worried that once the time came for them to break up and he made himself scarce, he¡¯d leave Pei Yu with a huge mess to clean up. That would be inconsiderate.


    This was quite a vile mentality, but taking a step back to think it through, even if they didn¡¯t break up, he couldn¡¯t make such trouble for Pei Yu.


    So the discussion of their accommodation brought the both of them much torment. Eventually, Xu Juan said: ¡°How about you move in with me. I¡¯ll drop you off and pick you up from work every day, okay? It¡¯s not too far away by car.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that troublesome?¡± It weighed a little on Pei Yu¡¯s conscience, so he was actually polite to him.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Not at all. Anyway, I¡¯m a slacker. Since I¡¯d be lazing around anyway, I might as well do a good job serving Pei laoshi. Just take it as me indirectly contributing back to the country.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Amused by his flattery, Pei Yu laughed, no longer hesitating to agree.


    But Pei Yu said that it wasn¡¯t necessary for him to drive him to and fro every day, he could take the subway to work. He was so understanding that Xu Juan felt a twinge of guilt. Wasn¡¯t Pei Yu taking the trouble to move so far away, just so he could be together with him?


    Xu Juan never expected that such a reserved and aloof Pei laoshi would be this open-minded when he was dating; He was rather tolerant of everything.


    Perhaps, it was because he was the first person that Pei Yu liked.


    First times didn¡¯t come with the baggage of having been hurt, so one would naturally be unfamiliar with how things work and not know that they should have reservations.


    Thinking of this, the feeling in Xu Juan¡¯s heart gradually became more complicated. Be it happiness or guilt, he wasn¡¯t willing to contemplate them deeper. One¡¯s troubles usually stemmed from ¡°overthinking¡±, so if one thought of nothing at all, they would then be able to live freely in the moment.


    The day after they returned from under the starry sky, they took a nap, and then started the move around four in the afternoon.


    Pei Yu had quite a lot of belongings, most of them were books, but it wasn¡¯t feasible to bring all of them over, so eventually, only a small collection of them was taken. He decided he could pick up anything else he wanted to read during work hours, whenever he felt like it.


    After he¡¯d chosen his books, Xu Juan helped him to bring them downstairs and into his car, before returning to get the flowers.


    Pei Yu kept a number of green potted plants, but Xu Juan sorely lacked knowledge in that department and had no inkling of what kind of plants they were.


    Dea tf tjv atf tjyla bo abemtlcu atlcur tf rtbeivc¡¯a. Qtlif Ufl Te kjr alvslcu atf mibrfa, tf kjr ybgfv ab vfjat, rb tf qijsfv klat atf ifjnfr ys qlcmtlcu ja atfw. Lf kjr ralii delfais qlcmtlcu atfw ktfc Ufl Te rtea atf mibrfa vbbg jcv aegcfv jgbecv: ¡°We Aejc! Qtja jgf sbe vblcu!¡±


    Solemnly, Xu Juan crossed his hands behind his back, and blinked a few times: ¡°Nothing much, your flowers look good, I was just touching them.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu was furious, but it seemed too childish to get angry with him over a few leaves. After getting mad for a bit, he couldn¡¯t help but laugh: ¡°If I find them murdered in the future, I¡¯ll hold you accountable.¡±


    Xu Juan spluttered: ¡°Don¡¯t even go there. I used to have a nickname called ¡®Blossom¡¯s Despair¡¯, because all my mom¡¯s plants were killed by me. Whenever I saw a potted plant, I would pinch its leaves. Even cacti weren¡¯t spared.¡±


    Pei Yu was baffled: ¡°How does one pinch cacti?¡±


    ¡°With scissors, duh. I cut the thorns off with scissors, and whenever a bud emerged, I would break it off.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    There was nothing else Pei Yu could say. Xu Juan attempted to exonerate himself: ¡°Wasn¡¯t it because I was exhausted? When I was a child, I had too much homework and had nowhere to vent. I had to find stuff to wreck, else I¡¯d be terribly suffocated.¡±


    Since Pei Yu was kind, he would always first look at things from his perspective. He believed him the moment he complained, but was still somewhat hesitant: ¡°Then you aren¡¯t exhausted now, are you? You won¡¯t wreck my flowers, right? If you really can¡¯t help yourself, we might as well give these potted plants away. Zhang laoshi from next door loves keeping plants, too.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan nearly burst into laughter: ¡°No, no. Keep them, it¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    They finished organizing the books, clothes, daily necessities and the house plants. Then, they loaded everything into the car and set off.


    This was the twentieth day since Xu Juan and Pei Yu met.


    In the mere span of twenty days, they went from complete strangers to living together. Pei Yu felt that the development was rather fast, unfathomably fast.


    On the other hand, Xu Juan found it very slow ¨C¨C It had already been twenty days, yet he hadn¡¯t managed to sleep with Pei Yu. This was the worst record in his glorious history of love; It had broken all his past records.


    But that didn¡¯t matter. Since they were going to date for a long time, why care about an insignificant twenty days?


    Xu Juan drove home slowly, and with Pei Yu, unloaded everything they had put into the car earlier. They took the items into the house one by one, then looked for a suitable spot to place them.


    Although this was a very trivial process, Xu Juan didn¡¯t find it troublesome. It wasn¡¯t often he got to experience the joy of everyday life.


    First went the books. Pei Yu was probably obsessed with classification; Not only did he classify his own books into different types, he even turned Xu Juan¡¯s study room inside out, and disregarding whose book each one was, he organized them onto the shelves by category.


    Then, there were the plants. Pei Yu brought three potted plants over. In the living room of the villa¡¯s first floor, there were huge French windows. Since all his plants enjoyed sunlight, placing them beneath the windows worked well.


    Next, the clothes. Pei Yu didn¡¯t own many clothes, only when he opened Xu Juan¡¯s closet did he discover what ¡°many¡± really meant. Fortunately, the closet was big enough. He unpacked the shirts and pants from his luggage and one by one, he properly hung them up. After that, he found a spot to place his computer, phone charger and similar miscellaneous items. Lastly, he took his toiletries into the bathroom and placed them together with Xu Juan¡¯s.


    Finally, it had now become a home for two.


    Pei Yu let out a sigh of relief once he had finished busying about. When he turned around to look, Xu Juan was staring at him in a daze.


    ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± Belatedly, Pei Yu got a little self-conscious, ¡°Ahem, did I overdo it? Going ahead with all that without discussing with you first¡­¡±


    ¡°No, why shouldn¡¯t you? We¡¯re already together, so don¡¯t be thinking like that.¡±


    Xu Juan got out two cans of iced drinks from the refrigerator and handed one over to Pei Yu: ¡°I was admiring you. As expected, you¡¯re a person who loves life.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, even I was infected. I suddenly find life great.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu was once again embarrassed: ¡°It¡¯s not like I did anything significant, what are you blindly admiring.¡±


    ¡°All right, all right.¡± Xu Juan gave him a clingy hug, ¡°Rest a little. What do you feel like eating tonight? Since Pei laoshi has exhausted himself, we should reward the effort well. I gave the chef the day off today, let¡¯s order takeout.¡±


    Pei Yu glanced over at him: ¡°Normally, when you ask someone what they feel like eating, shouldn¡¯t the follow-up be ¡®I¡¯ll cook for you¡¯, Director Xu?¡±


    ¡°Even if I want to, I don¡¯t know how.¡± Not only did Xu Juan not seem ashamed, he even seemed proud of himself, ¡°A nobleman stays clear of the kitchen. These hands of mine are for the arts. I¡¯m fine with playing the piano and painting, but how could I cook?¡±


    Anyway, he could say whatever he wanted and it would still make sense. He pressed Pei Yu down onto the sofa to let him rest, then took out his phone to order their food.


    Xu Juan struggled a little with the options. He browsed through the entire takeout app, then raised his head to see that Pei Yu, who was sitting opposite him, was also on his phone. It was uncertain what he was looking at, but his expression continuously flickered between one to the next.


    Xu Juan¡¯s impression of Pei Yu was that he wasn¡¯t part of the ¡°heads down club¡±, neither did he enjoy using Weibo and other social media. He didn¡¯t play games either, at best, he would just scroll through his Wechat Moments.


    Walking over, Xu Juan sat down next to him: ¡°Are you chatting with someone, Pei laoshi?¡±


    Pei Yu reacted very fast, immediately locking his screen: ¡°No.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    What was he doing that even needed to be hidden from him?


    Xu Juan narrowed his eyes and glanced at Pei Yu, feigning grievance: ¡°We¡¯ve only just gotten together, you aren¡¯t already having affairs out there, are you, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°What nonsense are you saying.¡±


    ¡°Then why don¡¯t you dare to let me look?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu¡¯s pale face flushed faintly, and he reluctantly said: ¡°Look, then.¡±


    He unlocked the phone, and the search browser appeared. Xu Juan gave a cursory glance; The entire page was filled with appalling results, such as¡¶The most thrilling ways of lovemaking between men¡·,¡¶Techniques for two men in bed¡·and the like.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan wanted to laugh, but he didn¡¯t dare for fear of hurting Pei Yu¡¯s ego. However, his expression betrayed him. Pei Yu was exceedingly annoyed: ¡°What¡¯s wrong with me trying to learn a little? Hey!¡±


    ¡°Nothing wrong, there¡¯s nothing wrong.¡± Xu Juan immediately tried to smooth his ruffled feathers, ¡°Your spirit of learning is worthy of praise, but these are all paper theories, only practical experience will let you truly understand. Let¡¯s put it into practice tonight, I¡¯ll personally teach you, Pei laoshi.¡±


    Pei Yu feigned indifference: ¡°I¡¯m not in a hurry.¡±


    ¡°Okay, what if I¡¯m the one in a hurry.¡± Xu Juan¡¯s grin was so wide his eyes curved into crescents. He didn¡¯t forget to take advantage of the situation, either, ¡°Then, if I succeed in teaching you, will you call me Xu laoshi, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu sputtered, ¡°Shameless bastard!¡±


    Author¡¯s note: Xu laoshi¡¯s mini class has begun! See you all in the next chapter.

 CH 20

    Note: Nsfw, uncensored content hidden in dropdown.


    As promised, Xu laoshi shoved Pei Yu into bed that very night and began to personally teach him.


    Because Pei Yu was too shy, he ended up being somewhat apathetic. Without blushing or breathing, he took his bathrobe off and allowed Xu Juan free rein. That attitude made him seem like he was valiantly heading off to meet his death, amusing Xu Juan so much that he sprawled on top of Pei Yu, laughing.


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t get mad; He had discovered the truth after suffering at the mercy of the other, time and time again: Just ignore Xu Juan, the more attention he received, the more enthusiastic he would become.


    Indeed, after laughing for a while, since no one was enabling him, Xu Juan stopped. He pressed Pei Yu down onto the mattress and brushed his lips over Pei Yu¡¯s neck, leaving behind the ghost of a kiss.


    ¡°You used my shower gel?¡± Xu Juan sniffed, it was a familiar scent, yet it didn¡¯t feel completely familiar. There was a scent on Pei Yu that belonged only to him, like a sort of natural cologne that was both there and not at the same time, teasing him to the soul.


    ¡°You smell so good.¡± Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help but kiss him, biting a number of teeth marks into his neck.


    To be bitten in bed, it didn¡¯t matter if it was done gently or roughly, it spelt seduction. With every bite, Pei Yu trembled, his body strung so tight it was as if he was being tortured.


    However, with torture, there was only fear. Instead, he was subtly expectant, his breathing becoming slightly heavier.


    Xu Juan saw that he was motionless and marvelled at what a rare find such an innocent and unpretentious blockhead like him was, especially in present times. What should he do, then? Of course, he should teach him well, and teach him sincerely.


    ¡°Won¡¯t you stop ignoring me?¡± Xu Juan took Pei Yu¡¯s hand and placed it on his own waist, ¡°Cooperate with me a little, Pei laoshi.¡±


    ¡°How should I cooperate?¡±


    ¡°Hug me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu did, arms lifting to lock around his waist.


    ¡°Kiss me.¡± Xu Juan continued, ¡°Don¡¯t you want to kiss me? If you do, why aren¡¯t you making your move?¡±


    ¡°That time¡­¡±


    That time, he was too recklessly initiative and Xu Juan got upset. And so, it made him overly cautious this time around, unsure of what he should and could do.


    Xu Juan picked up on his unspoken words, silently meeting his gaze for a few seconds.


    Pei Yu had started to sweat.


    He was too nervous.


    Xu Juan never knew that something as delightful and simple as going to bed would be worth getting this nervous for. Perhaps, it wasn¡¯t a matter of experience; If one was too beguiled, their heartbeat would speed up and their reflexes slowed. Only someone who cared for nothing could remain habitual and at ease.


    Mbiibklcu atlr agjlc bo atbeuta, We Aejc ofia j ilaaif cfgnber tlwrfio, Ufl Te tjv mbwqifafis geyyfv boo bc tlw.


    Ktf jawbrqtfgf lc atf yfvgbbw kjr abb delfa, tf mbeiv tfjg Ufl Te rkjiibklcu. Ktbrf ilqr kfgf alutais rtea, tlr Cvjw¡¯r jqqif wbnlcu klat fnfgs reyaif agfwyif. Pa agjnfiifv ab tlr mtfra, atf glrf jcv ojii bo fnfgs ygfjat aegclcu lcab j rbga bo abgaegf. Fcvfg We Aejc¡¯r eckjnfglcu rajgf, la kjr jr lo Ufl Te vjgfv cba fnfc ygfjatf, ab atf qblca ktfgf tlr ojmf kjr oiertfv gfv.


    Xu Juan could no longer endure it, pressing down onto his shoulders and kissing him hard.


    ¡°¡­¡­Don¡¯t be nervous.¡± He said against Pei Yu¡¯s lips, ¡°Just do whatever you want to do.¡±


    Their scorching exhales intertwined, lips burning so hot they were near melting. Once Xu Juan said those words, it was as if Pei Yu had been granted special permission. The arms that were wrapped around Xu Juan suddenly tugged, and Xu Juan felt like his waist was nearly snapped, but Pei Yu didn¡¯t notice he had used too much strength. His entire body was trembling, partly due to his nerves, the rest was from the thrill.


    Xu Juan¡¯s lower lip was bitten, but he hadn¡¯t yet felt the pain when Pei Yu began to suck on it with his lips and tongue. It was as though he wanted to swallow him, the action clumsy with feigned skill.


    Xu Juan tried to regain the lead, but Pei Yu disregarded all techniques and only cared about stopping his attempts. He bit him, kissed him, vented all his emotions into the kiss; It wasn¡¯t often he showed this much initiative.


    Since Xu Juan had promised to teach him, he was more tolerant. He allowed Pei Yu to practice without restraint, lest it became a repeat of the previous time and caused the other any psychological aversion, such that he wouldn¡¯t even dare to move in bed in the future.


    ( . . . . . . )


    After a moment¡¯s rest, Pei Yu put his forehead against his, asking out of the blue: ¡°Xu Juan, did I do okay?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    They were face to face, bodies entwined, uncertain when one¡¯s breath ended and the other¡¯s began.


    Pei Yu¡¯s eyes were glistening, bright and enchanting as he gazed at him, as if awaiting validation. Xu Juan wrestled with his conscience for a short while, then finally admitted that he had indeed lost his mind to lust, he no longer had any principles: ¡°You did okay, it was pretty good.¡±


    Author¡¯s note: My Weibo is @F_nunu


    T/N: me vs. struggling to read traditional chinese on my physical copy for the Goods [ in tears. ] thank god i was super into taiwanese pop a couple years back and had some practice.

 CH 21

    They finally got to spend one sweet night together.


    Xu Juan was in a trance the entire night, but when he thought about it the next day, he realized that after spending so much time scheming to get Pei Yu into bed, in the end, he didn¡¯t get to take advantage of him at all. He felt very shortchanged.


    But whose fault could it be?


    It was his own fault, he shouldn¡¯t have cared too much about Pei Yu¡¯s feelings. What happened to being cold and ruthless? He was an embarrassment to all fuckboys.


    After some deep reflection, Xu Juan realized that he actually understood; It was essentially because Pei Yu wasn¡¯t afraid of him that things like this could happen.


    All his little ex-lovers had at least some degree of fear towards him, regardless of if they truly had feelings for him or not. So even if Xu Juan were to lay flat, they would only dare to ¡°sit on him and move themselves¡±, who would dare to make a move on his ass?


    But Pei Yu was aloof, he saw gold as dirt and didn¡¯t place any importance on his social or family background. Pei Yu laid his heart bare for him, and regarded them as complete equals. Xu Juan couldn¡¯t make use of his usual ¡°superiority¡± to put Pei Yu in his place, and it made him frustrated.


    Despite that, he also enjoyed it somewhat ¡ª¡ª What Pei Yu liked was simply him, it had nothing to do with his money.


    Maybe it was a little lame to put it that way. It was just like those kinds of dog blood idol dramas that were in trend for many years; The male lead was the established and well-respected president of his company who didn¡¯t believe in women, because the majority of women only loved his money. Only the female lead was a pure and naive little white lotus, born poor but always striving to improve her situation. After being humiliated by the male lead, she would bravely hurl the banknotes in his face: ¡°Who cares about your damn money!¡±


    Look at that, how adorable. It was exactly like Pei laoshi.


    It was as if Xu Juan had been poisoned; It didn¡¯t matter what Pei Yu did, he found him adorable anyway. Going by his previous standards, he obviously wouldn¡¯t have accepted all these things, but now, he was making exceptions for Pei Yu one after another.


    He truly resembled a person who had fallen deep into the river of love, but Xu Juan wasn¡¯t aware of this at the beginning.


    Ever since they spent that night together, some sort of seal in Pei Yu seemed to have been undone. He became a lot more initiative and began to crave intimacy with Xu Juan.


    For example, as long as there was some free time, Pei Yu would wordlessly cling to him. Although he looked shy, his actions were bold; He would press Xu Juan onto the sofa, the carpet, the bed, or against the desk, then kiss him deeply and fervently, to the point where they were like cannons, their fuses one spark away from firing.


    When Xu Juan desired something, he disliked holding himself back. Pei Yu was no longer reserved, so although they had yet to get to the final step, apart from penetration, everything else that they could do, they had done.


    Pei Yu became more practised, he even discovered Xu Juan¡¯s erogenous zone without any guidance ¡ª¡ª Xu Juan himself was unaware, the area where he was most sensitive was unexpectedly his ankle.


    Whenever his ankle was held by Pei Yu, he couldn¡¯t help but overreact and attempt to pull away. But he was someone who liked keeping up appearances, how could he let a rookie player brazenly overwhelm him like that? How shameful would that be?


    And so, he would endure the pleasure each time and feign calm. But Pei Yu was stubborn; When he saw that the other didn¡¯t have much reaction, he would think that his technique wasn¡¯t good enough, that he wasn¡¯t working hard enough. He would devote all his effort to rendering Xu Juan to the point of losing it.


    Xu Juan felt like his mind was about to break down.


    Who could have expected that dating would be this torturous? It seemed like being a fuckboy was better. If he wanted to fuck, he could just fuck. If he didn¡¯t want to, then all he had to do was pull out and leave. Was there even a need to care about his bed partner¡¯s feelings? He would just like whoever made him happy.


    But despite the complaints, Xu Juan¡¯s body was very honest, and living together with Pei Yu made him extremely happy.


    Pei Yu had a good personality, he knew how to think on behalf of others and was actually genuine in his actions. When he said he would treat Xu Juan well, he lived up to his words. He would cook for him, tidy his clothes, and was even very sentimental about life. For example, one morning, Xu Juan caught the whiff of a refreshing scent while half asleep. When he opened his eyes, there was an arrangement of fresh flowers on the bedside table. Pei Yu had stuck a post-it on the vase, writing: ¡°I have to head out for something. Breakfast is in the kitchen, the temperature should be just right by the time you wake up, it won¡¯t be too hot then.¡±


    Ca atf fcv bo atf rfcafcmf, tf tjv vgjkc j ilaaif gfv tfjga.


    We Aejc abbx atf qbra-la vbkc jcv ujnf la j xlrr, offilcu ecfzqfmafvis ja fjrf.


    Pa kjr jr lo Ufl Te kjr rb afcvfg jcv ufcaif atja tf mbeiv vgbkc j qfgrbc. Jjeuta ecjkjgf, We Aejc yfmjwf lcabzlmjafv, jcv fjmt vjs oibjafv qjra delmxis. Pa mbcalcefv jii atf kjs lcab Vfqafwyfg, ktfc atf rfwfrafg rajgafv ja Lbcu Jlas Fclnfgrlas jcv Ufl Te tjv ab ub yjmx ab kbgx, ktfc atfs tjv ab tbiv yjmx ogbw ¡°milculcu ab fjmt batfg¡± vjs jcv cluta.


    On the third of September, this day, a Tuesday, Xu Juan personally drove Pei Yu to school in the morning. After a parting kiss in the car, he returned home and took a nap.


    At noon, Pei Yu called Xu Juan to tell him that their department had organized a dinner event and it would probably end rather late. Since he needed to drop by his own apartment to check on some materials and flip through reference books, it may take him until past midnight. He told Xu Juan not to wait for him, he would stay at Hong Uni and not return home for the night.


    Xu Juan expressed disappointment, whining a little to Pei Yu over the phone. But once he hung up, Xu Juan¡¯s disappointment immediately disappeared ¡ª¡ª Tonight, he was finally free.


    Only the heavens knew, ever since he got together with Pei Yu, how many days had it been since he went out to have fun?


    He was clearly a wild peacock and yet was being kept as a domesticated fowl.


    ¡°Hi, friend. What¡¯re you busy with?¡± Xu Juan gave Guo Shao a call, ¡°Let¡¯s go out for drinks tonight.¡±


    Having not seen him for quite a few days, Guo Shao was rather amazed, teasing: ¡°Yo, who¡¯re you? Are you our missing Director Xu?¡±


    Xu Juan laughingly fumed: ¡°You¡¯re so full of shit. Let¡¯s meet at the same old place at eight tonight, call up more people. I¡¯m about to go mouldy.¡±


    Naturally, Guo Shao agreed.


    Humming a song, Xu Juan went to his office and spent the whole afternoon there. He had a very ¡°down-to-earth¡± work lunch with his employees, then punctually headed for his appointment that night.


    They had planned to meet at a clubhouse to play mahjong.


    Most of the people there were familiar faces, there were some new ones, but this was normal. Although this sort of gathering seemed meaningless, it represented one¡¯s social status. Not many could worm themselves into Hong City¡¯s high society, but even if one couldn¡¯t, they would still try all means to squeeze themselves in. As such, Xu Juan would often notice people he had never met at these drinking parties, probably a friend that someone in the circle had invited.


    Xu Juan had never cared. Despite being quite the wild one, he actually disliked making friends. He had been messing around for so many years, but other than his cousin Hou Shijie who had grown up with him, the only other person who could be considered his friend was Guo Shao.


    Although he and Guo Shao were very closely acquainted, in his heart, he felt that Guo Shao was an even more incompetent and foolish young master than himself. Apart from squandering their family¡¯s fortunes away together, it was difficult to have any sort of intellectual connection.


    Therefore, in other words: Xu Juan had no friends.


    If he had to be precise, then Pei Yu was a rarity, he was someone that he had been sincere with to some extent.


    Xu Juan absentmindedly drew a tile, three of bamboos, and formed a concealed Kong.


    Hou Shijie was spectating from behind him, and flattered him out of habit: ¡°My ge¡¯s luck is as good as always, all of you should get your money ready today!¡±


    After playing several rounds, it was Guo Shao who lost the most pitifully, sullenly saying: ¡°Don¡¯t they usually say that those who are lucky in love will be unlucky in gambling? Why isn¡¯t our Director Xu following convention?¡±


    ¡°Who said that?¡± Xu Juan laughed while drawing a tile, ¡°I clearly have the best of both worlds. In all these years, when have I ever lacked in either?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s different. Haven¡¯t you been especially smug lately?¡± Guo Shao protested, ¡°Even our family¡¯s Xiao Linlin knows you¡¯re head over heels in love these days, PDA-ing all over your Moments, you even stopped drinking and going to the nightclub, like a submissive husband. So you¡¯ve abandoned us rascal friends and started being a good man, are you for real, Director Xu? Is that university professor that skilled? He tamed you just like that?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan almost couldn¡¯t control the expression on his face. Mainly, it was because even he himself felt that it was a little strange for him and Pei Yu to be so clingy. It wasn¡¯t his usual style.


    ¡°Well, isn¡¯t it because I¡¯m getting old.¡± Xu Juan played along, ¡°I got tired of messing around, so I had to switch things up a little and try living healthily like a regular person.¡±


    He pushed his tiles out: ¡°I¡¯ve won, pay up.¡±


    Laughter filled the room, and the topic of conversation passed.


    After a while, Guo Shao suddenly said: ¡°Oh, right. I heard that you¡¯re about to become my brother-in-law, Director Xu? Is that happening?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean, is it happening? My mom is just blindly matchmaking.¡± Xu Juan thought, this guy surnamed Guo was really spouting a lot of nonsense today, even picking all the topics he didn¡¯t enjoy discussing, but he maintained his pleasant temperament, smiling: ¡°It¡¯s not like you don¡¯t know, I¡¯m infamous in the circle, which respectable young lady would dare marry me? Miss Yue probably wouldn¡¯t dare as well.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, no.¡± Guo Shao abruptly smacked the table, ¡°So you didn¡¯t know! This younger cousin of mine is a face-con. Ever since she saw you that one time last year, she fell for you! She kept asking me on Wechat: Does Director Xu have a partner these days, what sort of girls does he like, is he such a player because he was once hurt by love¡­ She obviously likes you.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    It¡¯s no wonder his mother took a fancy to Yue Xuelin. With regards to family background, the Yue family was far behind theirs. It seemed the girl herself had taken the initiative to curry favour with his mother and won her over.


    Xu Juan really hadn¡¯t expected there to be such an inside story to this situation, but he still didn¡¯t care. Since he wasn¡¯t willing to get married, what could the other person do, tie him up?


    They played another few rounds, and once the mahjong players disbanded, Hou Shijie proposed they went downstairs to drink and sing karaoke. He had brought a friend today, reportedly someone who had just entered their circle, a nouveau riche.


    After listening to the introduction, Xu Juan was unmoved. The ¡°nouveau riche¡±, in Guo Shao¡¯s words, were those who had suddenly become wealthy but were still unused to how people of their social status worked. The style in which they did things was more straightforward.


    Indeed, Guo Shao wasn¡¯t wrong. This nouveau riche da-ge was more than straightforward, he directly brought a little beauty in, saying that she had a nice voice and could sing especially well. To honor his pride, Xu Juan listened to two songs, replying to Pei Yu¡¯s texts while he did.


    Pei Yu asked him what he was doing, he said he was preparing to go to bed, and told Pei Yu to rest earlier too.


    Pei Yu sent him a ¡°kiss¡± emoji. Xu Juan put his phone down, unexpectedly feeling a little sleepy. His biological clock was quite normal recently and he had become unused to staying up all night.


    At this moment, the little beauty who had been singing handed the microphone over to someone else and suddenly walked over to him.


    ¡°Good evening, Director Xu. May I sit here?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The private room was dimly-lit and the girl was bending over slightly. She looked to be showing respect, but in fact, was really trying to show him her cleavage. Xu Juan lifted his head and was flashed with an eyeful of white skin.


    Someone this unsubtle wasn¡¯t his type, but he didn¡¯t let it show on his face: ¡°Sure.¡±


    This sort of encounter was a norm for him.


    In their circle, some gifted money, others gifted presents, even gifted people; There were all kinds of tricks. Although others could gift, if one didn¡¯t want to do any favours, it was best not to receive. Just like now, Xu Juan usually didn¡¯t touch people who had been directly presented to target him.


    But tonight, Guo Shao had openly made fun of him, calling him a ¡°submissive husband¡±. If he now showed everyone that he was unaffected even with a girl practically in his lap, wouldn¡¯t those rumors become real?


    Xu Juan was a little peeved, but to be honest, his reputation was secondary. What he really cared about was, did he really like Pei Yu that much? It didn¡¯t seem so, at least not to the point where he needed to wrong himself by changing his lifestyle for Pei Yu.


    Xu Juan gripped his phone and spaced out. The girl silently looked at him for a while, then suddenly tried to move closer to him, taking the initiative to lean into his arms.


    Only the heavens knew how much perfume she had used, Xu Juan was made very uncomfortable by the barrage of strong scent. Even if he wanted to do something for the sake of expressing his ¡°self-control¡±, he wouldn¡¯t be able to do it now. He leaned away and pushed the girl away. At this moment, his phone rang, it was Pei Yu calling.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± They had just said goodnight to each other, why was he calling?


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t pick up, the environment was unsuitable for taking the call.


    He declined it, then texted Pei Yu on Wechat: ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡±


    Pei Yu said: ¡°I¡¯m home, but where are you? Weren¡¯t you sleeping?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not home?¡± Pei Yu sent a voice message, sounding quite angry, ¡°Xu Juan, where have you gone off to?¡±

 CH 22

    Pei Yu was clearly anxious. After sending the voice message, he didn¡¯t wait for Xu Juan to reply before calling him a second time.


    Unable to decline again, Xu Juan could only head outside with his phone to pick it up.


    Compared to the ruckus in the private room, it was much quieter in the corridor.


    Xu Juan hurried into the washroom, rushing to accept the call before the ringing stopped.


    ¡°Xu Juan, where are you?¡± There was anger suppressed in Pei Yu¡¯s voice, ¡°I rushed home the moment my work was done, wanting to surprise you. Who would have thought, it was you who surprised me! Didn¡¯t you say you were going to sleep, where are you sleeping, then?! Why did you lie to me?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan moved the phone a little further away, waiting for Pei Yu to finish his outburst before bringing it close to his ear again.


    Honestly speaking, the last person who had used this tone to lecture him was his dad.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to lie to you.¡± When Xu Juan told lies, there was no need for him to think it through, ¡°I have some business, so I¡¯m attending an obligatory social event outside and can¡¯t go back until a little later. I didn¡¯t tell you this directly because I was worried you¡¯d overthink.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Pei Yu didn¡¯t buy it, ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you weren¡¯t busy with work? You don¡¯t even go to work often, what sort of social event would require you to stay out so late? Also, isn¡¯t this too much of a coincidence? When I¡¯m home, you didn¡¯t even have a single social event. But once I¡¯m not home, you suddenly have some business to attend to?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei laoshi was usually so clueless, pure as a sheet of paper. So why was he so sharp during critical moments?


    But this probably wasn¡¯t a matter of being sharp or not.


    When he met Pei Yu for the first time, it was because of Tang Sisi. He left a terrible impression of himself with Pei Yu, then used ¡°social niceties¡± and ¡°being left with no other option¡± as excuses to redeem himself, which Pei Yu believed.


    Not even much time had passed since then, if he brought up social niceties again now, Pei Yu¡¯s train of thought would inevitably swerve in that direction by association.


    Though of course, associating these two matters wouldn¡¯t be wrong of him at all.


    But Xu Juan couldn¡¯t tell the truth, their honeymoon phase had but just begun. Xu Juan hadn¡¯t enjoyed himself enough, how could he be willing to end it?


    ¡°You¡¯re overthinking.¡± Xu Juan let out a sigh, seemingly serious, ¡°I knew you would get the wrong idea, that¡¯s why I didn¡¯t dare to tell you, how would I have known you¡¯d come home today¡­ You have to trust me a little, Pei Yu. Of course, I should also trust in you. You¡¯re not a very unreasonable person, so I¡¯ll be straightforward.¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t respond, Xu Juan was uncertain if the other believed him, continuing: ¡°Wait a little while for me, okay? I¡¯ll come home right now.¡±


    Pei Yu maintained his silence, directly hanging up on the call.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


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    Kb yf tbcfra, tf tjv ifv atlr oglnbiber jcv lvif ilofrasif obg rb wjcs sfjgr, yea abvjs kjr atf olgra alwf j qjgacfg tjv mtfmxfv lc bc tlw.


    Forget merely leaving the house to play mahjong, even if he sponsored another and kept them in his home, then slept with someone else outside, what could anyone do? It¡¯s not like he hadn¡¯t done all that either, but his lover from that time hadn¡¯t dared to say anything even when they found out. Because a lover was a lover, they had no right to control him.


    But he and Pei Yu weren¡¯t in that sort of relationship.


    Pei Yu was sincerely dating him, he wasn¡¯t after his benefits, he simply liked him. This fact alone made him very content.


    But there were two sides to all things; There weren¡¯t enough true feelings in a sponsor relationship, hence there was freedom. And although dating was pure and beautiful, it required him to take responsibility, it locked him up in a fixed space, no longer allowing him to admire the scenery outside.


    ¡ª¡ª Responsibility.


    To others, it was regarded as a matter of course. However, to Xu Juan, it was a kind of ¡°sacrifice¡±.


    He did indeed like Pei Yu, but was sacrificing his freedom for Pei Yu worth it?


    Xu Juan spaced out in the washroom for a while, all these confusing thoughts flashed by, but he couldn¡¯t come to a conclusion.


    He was a person easily swayed by his feelings; He did whatever made him happy. The happiest route was naturally the best of both worlds, ¡°freedom¡± and ¡°Pei Yu¡±, he wanted them all.


    Xu Juan bid Guo Shao a quick farewell and left the gathering early.


    Before he left, he took a simple shower in one of the clubhouse rooms that had an attached bathroom. He changed into a new set of clothes that the staff prepared for him, and made sure that there wasn¡¯t any scent of women¡¯s perfume on his body or any other traces he shouldn¡¯t have left on him. Then, he drove home.


    About half an hour after he went onto the road, he gave Pei Yu a call, but Pei Yu didn¡¯t pick up.


    When he got home, it was just past midnight. Xu Juan parked the car in the garage, and getting off, he saw that the light in the living area was still on. Through the glass windows, he saw Pei Yu sitting on the sofa with his back to him and head lowered, it was uncertain if he was reading or if he was spacing out.


    Xu Juan stood outside, mulling over this thoughts for a moment, before entering.


    ¡°I¡¯m back.¡± He changed into slippers and walked into the living room, deliberately saying, ¡°Pei laoshi? Hello, is Pei laoshi home?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu was reading a book, but after staring at him for a long time, Xu Juan didn¡¯t see him flip a page. He clearly wasn¡¯t seriously reading.


    Xu Juan walked up to the sofa and sat down beside Pei Yu.


    ¡°Are you mad?¡± Just as always, he reached an arm out to wrap around Pei Yu¡¯s waist, but Pei Yu was at the peak of his anger, he suddenly snapped the book shut, then tossed it onto the coffee table with a smack.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The sound wasn¡¯t considered loud, but the night was extremely quiet, so all grating sounds seemed especially sudden. Xu Juan¡¯s eyelid twitched. He gazed at Pei Yu¡¯s icy expression, unable to speak for the next few seconds.


    Recently, Pei Yu had been too gentle and tender towards him. How could he have forgotten, that Pei Yu was initially an unapproachable iceberg.


    But what of it?


    The iceberg had long since melted. Pei Yu liked him, all tigers with feelings were paper tigers.


    ¡°You don¡¯t believe me?¡± Xu Juan once again tried to hug him, sprawling on Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder as he spoke unhurriedly, ¡°I haven¡¯t done anything, I only went out for a bit, but taking your feelings into consideration, I didn¡¯t want you to overthink, so I didn¡¯t tell the truth. Why won¡¯t you believe me, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Seeing Pei Yu all silent, Xu Juan asked even though he already knew the answer: ¡°What are you mad about? You thought I was doing despicable things behind your back?¡±


    ¡°Weren¡¯t you?¡± Pei Yu turned to look at him, ¡°Whose social event were you obliged to attend, were they the same people I saw that time? Were you hugging someone else again, a young lady similar to Tang Sisi? Am I right?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    It was said that women had a very accurate sixth sense, did men have a sixth sense too?


    Xu Juan let out a small laugh: ¡°I wasn¡¯t, don¡¯t wrongly accuse me.¡±


    Pei Yu stared at him.


    Xu Juan¡¯s smile faltered: ¡°All right, I¡¯ll tell the truth. Actually, I didn¡¯t have work, I went out to drink and play mahjong. You don¡¯t know, do you, ever since we started dating, I spent every day with you. Whenever the guys invited me to hang out, I declined and didn¡¯t attend a single one. Because of this, they were making fun of me behind my back, saying I¡¯m, you know¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re what?¡±


    ¡°A submissive husband.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Embarrassment coloured Pei Yu¡¯s face: ¡°What nonsense are they spouting. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m a woman, that¡¯s not how it should be said.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s basically what it means.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°That¡¯s why I thought, since you wouldn¡¯t be home tonight and I was pretty bored on my own, why don¡¯t I go play mahjong with them.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°What else could it be?¡±


    Xu Juan clutched at Pei Yu¡¯s hand, locking their fingers together: ¡°You can¡¯t be so distrustful of me, Pei laoshi. Am I really such an abominable person in your heart?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­No.¡± Pei Yu looked down, staring at their entwined fingers, quietly saying, ¡°It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t believe you, it¡¯s that I¡¯m insecure. I always find that we¡¯re progressing too fast, my heart doesn¡¯t feel at ease.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve already said this once before.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°My answer is still the same. Feelings and time are not very relative. Even if two people have been in love for ten long years, it¡¯s not rare to find such couples who eventually separate to go their own ways. Those who fell in love at first sight and immediately got married, then lived happy lives, there are also countless people like that. Also, we¡¯re not exactly progressing that fast, are we? Dating is like that, we¡¯re together because we like each other. Getting along well, slowly learning about and understanding each other better, isn¡¯t that a very good thing?¡±


    Xu Juan shifted his body and laid down sleepily in Pei Yu¡¯s lap, letting out a yawn: ¡°I understand why you don¡¯t feel at ease with me, we¡¯ve never interacted in the past. You¡¯re not familiar with my social circle and lifestyle, once I¡¯m out of your sight, you can¡¯t imagine what I¡¯m doing, you don¡¯t know who I¡¯m having fun with, what their character is like, and if they¡¯ll be a bad influence to me¡­ You don¡¯t know anything, but I know you very well. I know where you work, what you¡¯re busy with, and that you¡¯re surrounded by upright people. ¡ª¡ª This distrust was caused by our imbalance of information, am I getting this right, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu was dazed, thinking that this might indeed be the case, ¡°Then what should we do?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s an easy fix!¡± Xu Juan swiftly got up from his lap and hugged his neck, giving him a sweet kiss, ¡°I¡¯ll take you out to have fun and introduce you to my friends, how about it?¡±


    ¡°Will that cause you trouble?¡± Pei Yu asked, reserved.


    ¡°Of course it won¡¯t, you¡¯re my boyfriend, they all know that.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The words ¡°they all know that¡± satisfied Pei Yu greatly, the shadow looming in his heart suddenly dispersed, and his expression looked better as well.


    Tentatively, Xu Juan said: ¡°So, are you still mad at me?¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t reply.


    Tilting backwards, Xu Juan leaned against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. He pointed at his own face and said: ¡°If you¡¯re mad, kiss my left cheek. If you¡¯re not mad, kiss my right cheek. If you love me, kiss the middle.¡±


    He heard Pei Yu let out a small laugh. Then, shortly after, a kiss fell upon his lips.


    ¡°I love you,¡± Pei Yu said quietly.

 CH 23

    Once September came around, the summer heat ebbed away and temperatures gradually cooled into autumn.


    Autumn in Hong city was the most beautiful season of the year. Xu Juan liked it, but it was mostly because his birthday was in September. As someone with quite a serious self-love complex, he regarded autumn as a season that belonged to him.


    That night, after making up with Pei Yu, Xu Juan asked: ¡°Pei laoshi, do you have teacher¡¯s day off?¡±


    ¡°Probably not, why?¡±


    ¡°My birthday is on the tenth.¡± Xu Juan attempted to hint at him, pretending, ¡°I¡¯m telling you in advance not because I want a gift from you, but it¡¯s my birthday after all, so no matter what, you should do a little something, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    He blinked coyly at Pei Yu.


    But Pei Yu didn¡¯t get his hint at all, saying solemnly: ¡°I¡¯ll get you a present.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Afraid that he would give him stuff like a men¡¯s scarf or leather belts, Xu Juan hurriedly said: ¡°Presents aren¡¯t important. What¡¯s important is the air of celebration. During special occasions like birthdays, shouldn¡¯t we also do something special?¡±


    Pei Yu finally understood. His face flushed, and he said in a soft voice: ¡°Sure, I¡¯m fine with anything.¡±


    He was so explicit, it was written clearly on his face that ¡°as long as it¡¯s you, you can do with me as you please¡±. Xu Juan¡¯s heart went bang, exploding into fireworks. He felt so happy that his entire person seemed to float.


    ¡ª¡ª So dating was actually such a joyous thing.


    Xu Juan found it quite incredulous, becoming a little in awe of the ¡°power of love¡±.


    He had never experienced such a feeling before. He thought, his love for Pei Yu wasn¡¯t deep enough, wasn¡¯t pure enough, it even harboured the detestable intention of just fooling around. Yet, even so, Pei Yu was able to influence his feelings this strongly.


    What if he abandoned all his selfish motivations and completely fell in love with Pei Yu?


    Would that be equivalent to entrusting all his human emotions to Pei Yu, and letting this man control his feelings¡ª¡ª


    If so, then he should forget it.


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    Pei Yu was so adorable, that Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help wanting to kiss him.


    They huddled together on the sofa to make out, then simply ¡°helped each other¡± once before returning to the bedroom to sleep.


    This wasn¡¯t considered a peaceful night, but it was a wonderful night.


    Xu Juan reckoned, that as long as he didn¡¯t provoke Pei Yu, their wonderful lives would continue with no end. But reality proved him wrong.


    The next morning, while he was in the middle of sending Pei Yu to work, his mother He Xiangzi suddenly called. Once he picked up, she immediately said: ¡°Xiao Bao, are you awake?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was currently driving, so his phone was on speaker mode. From the corner of his eye, he saw that Pei Yu was smiling so hard that his face nearly distorted. Awkwardly, he said: ¡°Mom, I¡¯m already twenty six, can¡¯t you respect me a little?¡±


    He Xiangzi said: ¡°Sure, Mom respects you very much, that¡¯s why I intend to personally organize your birthday party this year.¡±


    In his heart, Xu Juan thought: This is it, it¡¯s finally it.


    ¡°Is it a birthday party?¡± He said unhappily, ¡°You won¡¯t turn it into an engagement party, will you? I¡¯m telling you first, I¡¯m not single, I have a partner, so don¡¯t mess around blindly.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re using that tone to speak to your Mom?¡± He Xiangzi was also unhappy, ¡°You think I don¡¯t know you have a partner? I¡¯ve never seen you without a partner. You should do some self-reflection, which one of your partners can marry into the family? Each one is worse than the last! You¡¯re already twenty six!¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes.¡± Xu Juan said perfunctorily, ¡°I know you just want the best for me. I¡¯m driving, let¡¯s talk later.¡±


    He hung up, but when he turned to look, Pei Yu was staring at him with a face full of displeasure, going straight to the point: ¡°So, Xu Juan, exactly how many partners have you had in the past?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan smiled a little: ¡°I was just fooling my Mom back then, don¡¯t take it seriously.¡±


    ¡°Really? I think the one you¡¯re trying to fool is me.¡± Pei Yu suddenly picked up his phone.


    The call had just ended and not enough time had passed for the lock screen to activate, Xu Juan¡¯s privacy was all but exposed in front of Pei Yu.


    In his face, Pei Yu deliberately went through his stuff: ¡°You have a lot of friends on Wechat.¡±


    ¡°Not too many, I¡¯m actually not close to most of them.¡±


    It had been a long time since Xu Juan changed his phone, and neither did he have the habit of clearing his chats. His ex, his ex-ex¡­ Nearly all those chats were left in his Wechat in their full glory. He was truly afraid that Pei Yu would see any content that shouldn¡¯t be seen, but Pei Yu was currently looking through the chats; If he snatched his phone back, then it would look all the more conspicuous.


    They just happened to run into a red light, Xu Juan didn¡¯t snatch his phone back, but he reached out to hold onto Pei Yu¡¯s wrist, voicing his grievance: ¡°Pei laoshi, you¡¯d just said you would trust in me last night, but you¡¯re already starting to check my phone today. I see you were lying about trusting me.¡±


    Pei Yu choked a little: ¡°I¡¯m just randomly looking, who wants to check on you?¡±


    He wasn¡¯t shameless, so he immediately returned the phone.


    Xu Juan¡¯s evil scheme worked, and once the danger before him was averted, he changed his tone of voice: ¡°To be honest, there really isn¡¯t anything on there. You can look if you want to.¡±


    He opened the lock screen settings and handed the phone to Pei Yu, letting him record his fingerprint: ¡°Here, I¡¯ll give you unlocking rights.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu was a teacher. The nature of his work and his personality both determined that he wasn¡¯t an unreasonable person; He was clear that even between lovers, privacy was necessary. Xu Juan was already being this magnanimous, how could he go ahead and record his fingerprint for real?


    Pei Yu declined.


    On the contrary, Xu Juan¡¯s guilty conscience prickled and he felt that perhaps he had played too dirty.


    He let out a sigh: ¡°Hey, Pei Yu, why do you always take things so seriously?¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t get what he meant by that.


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t explain, either. Before the red light turned green, he took the opportunity to lean over to the passenger seat, giving Pei Yu a quick kiss: ¡°You¡¯re so great.¡±


    Without waiting for Pei Yu to respond, he continued: ¡°I¡¯ll come pick you up tonight, then take you out to dinner.¡±


    ¡°Where to?¡± Pei Yu asked.


    ¡°Someone¡¯s treating.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°Didn¡¯t we talk about this last night? That I¡¯ll introduce you to my friends. Are you willing?¡±


    Pei Yu nodded.


    He was obviously very happy. Seeing the faint sparkle in his eyes, Xu Juan also found it difficult to hide his own smile: ¡°But I¡¯ll have to warn you first, you¡¯ll probably find that they¡­ Ahem, seem a little unscrupulous. What I mean is, they¡¯re not as civilized as your colleagues at school. If you feel uncomfortable, just let me know and we¡¯ll go home earlier.¡±


    Although this was what he said, in actuality, since Xu Juan dared to bring Pei Yu out, of course, he would have first tidied up the setting. Anything that Pei Yu shouldn¡¯t know about would definitely not appear before him.


    But this wasn¡¯t something that Pei Yu understood. He treated this gathering as something important, and was a little hesitant: ¡°What if I don¡¯t click with them? You know me, I¡¯m not much of a talker¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°You¡¯re my boyfriend, you don¡¯t have to flatter anyone else. Just sit there and wait for others to please you. If anyone gets on your nerves, ignore them, don¡¯t take them seriously.¡±


    Pei Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Was this really a gathering between friends? He suddenly felt that Xu Juan¡¯s social attitude might be somewhat problematic.

 CH 24

    Today¡¯s gathering wasn¡¯t much different from how Xu Juan and his friends usually did things. First, they would have a meal. After that, there would be other activities planned.


    But this time, before they arrived, Xu Juan especially reminded Hou Shijie that he would be bringing Pei Yu today, and told him not to invite people of dubious character.


    Hou Shijie understood him and got the hint immediately, but what he didn¡¯t understand was why Xu Juan cared so much about Pei Yu. Was this university professor really so special?


    Like Guo Shao, Hou Shijie was also purely straight, he didn¡¯t get what was so good about men.


    He kept having misgivings in his heart, and couldn¡¯t help asking Xu Juan: ¡°Ge, you¡¯re not being serious with him, are you?¡±


    ¡°Where¡¯s all your nonsense coming from?¡± Xu Juan said through the phone, ¡°Just care about yourself.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    After being rebuked like this, Hou Shijie was startled. He thought, from this reaction, even if he weren¡¯t completely serious, he was at least seventy percent serious. His cousin probably didn¡¯t know the old saying that ¡°all who drown know how to swim¡±.


    But these were words he wouldn¡¯t dare to say to Xu Juan even if he¡¯d borrowed the courage of one hundred people.


    Once the call ended, Hou Shijie began inviting people.


    As it happened, while he was at work that day, Xu Juan received quite a number of phone lectures from his mother. If it weren¡¯t for the gentle and considerate Pei laoshi chatting with him on WeChat, he wouldn¡¯t have been able to improve his mood the entire day.


    To prevent yet another accident, Xu Juan went through the chats on his phone and did a big clean-up, deleting whatever needed to be deleted.


    In the evening, once it was time to get off work, Xu Juan drove over to pick Pei Yu up.


    When he arrived at Hong Uni, Pei Yu was already out and was currently waiting for him at the entrance of the southern school gate.


    University was different from high school, not everyone had the same dismissal time. Those who had no classes in the evening had long since left.


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    ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s go straight there. Are you hungry?¡±


    ¡°Not really.¡± Pei Yu¡¯s gaze fell on Xu Juan¡¯s body, and he suddenly said, ¡°You¡¯re very suited to wearing formal wear. When we first met, you were dressed rather similarly to now. Back then, I already thought, you¡¯re very¡ª¡ª¡±


    Pei Yu deliberated over his choice of words: ¡°Very alike those playboys in movies. Elegant and charming, looks good in anything, but especially stylish in formal wear.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Juan was briefly stunned, he had never expected Pei Yu to see him this way, ¡°Was that your first impression of me, Pei laoshi?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. Back then, at first glance, I felt that you weren¡¯t a good person.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    You¡¯re not wrong.


    Xu Juan smiled, faint and secretive, then personally put Pei Yu¡¯s seat belt on for him. After that, he turned back and headed towards the location that had been decided upon.


    ¡­¡­


    They had decided to meet at Wanju today. This restaurant¡¯s specialty was in being expensive. Apart from big shots and public figures, the usual people would never be able to afford it.


    Although the extravagance here wasn¡¯t in the first place as when compared to other fancy, high-class clubs, its entire existence shifted in the direction of business affairs; It was a place frequented by people like Xu Juan¡¯s father, his older brother, and other similarly successful people when they wanted to discuss business. It was luxurious but proper.


    Xu Juan and Pei Yu didn¡¯t exactly arrive early, but Xu Juan was a familiar face; In Hong city, his face was well-known. Once he entered the lobby, there would be people showing him the way and respectfully sending him to the entrance of the private room.


    The entire time, Pei Yu¡¯s expression was quite tense. Xu Juan was very sharp, vaguely getting the feeling that the other was observing him.


    ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± After the attendant left, Xu Juan stood in the doorway, unable to stop himself from asking, ¡°You seem a little upset? Do you not like it here, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that.¡± Pei Yu shook his head.


    ¡°Then what¡¯s the matter?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The lights in the hotel corridor were so bright, they were brilliant. A warm tone washed over Pei Yu¡¯s face and he hesitated before abruptly taking Xu Juan¡¯s hand, confessing: ¡°Sometimes, I¡¯d think I know you well. But other times, I¡¯d feel as if there¡¯s a distance between us¡­ Like just now.¡±


    ¡°Just now?¡± Xu Juan was bewildered, he hadn¡¯t done anything earlier, had he?


    Pei Yu looked down, holding onto his hand a little tighter, and said nothing. It was a very controlled gaze, as if there were hundreds and thousands of subtle, complicated emotions. Xu Juan stared at him for a while, then suddenly understood a little.


    Ever since they¡¯d met, until now, it was always Xu Juan blazing around and about Pei Yu¡¯s world. Pei Yu had never stepped foot into his world, today was his first time.


    Feelings aside, they were truly two very different people, living at two different ends of the world. What Xu Juan was used to, was foreign to Pei Yu. But a foreign environment wasn¡¯t enough to influence his mood; What made him feel distant was this side of Xu Juan he had never seen, that had been inadvertently revealed in this environment.


    Pei Yu¡¯s heart was suddenly rattled.


    The insecurity that came with dating, was not always caused by doubt. As long as he didn¡¯t have enough confidence to keep Xu Juan in his grasp, then his heart would never be at rest.


    But this sort of mentality was pure imagination, to begin with, it was all unfounded overthinking, so he couldn¡¯t blurt it out in detail.


    Pei Yu felt he was being too sensitive. Xu Juan hadn¡¯t even done anything, he wasn¡¯t in the slightest bit wrong. If he were to spout such nonsense for no good reason, it would become an additional burden for Xu Juan to bear.


    ¡°I¡¯m not implying anything.¡± Pei Yu pursed his lips, and with some difficulty, said, ¡°Just take it as me¡­ me liking you too much. Xu Juan, I apologize.¡±


    He forced a smile: ¡°I¡¯m a little nervous.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­You don¡¯t have to be nervous.¡±


    Pei Yu wasn¡¯t someone adept at hiding his mood, so how could Xu Juan not have picked up on it?


    Xu Juan¡¯s feelings were complicated. Indeed, he felt burdened, but it wasn¡¯t the kind of burden Pei Yu thought of.


    Xu Juan pulled his hand from Pei Yu¡¯s grasp, then moved to hug him: ¡°If you¡¯re upset, let¡¯s just go back and not eat here anymore.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, I¡ª¡ª¡±


    Pei Yu had yet to finish speaking when a voice rang out from behind them: ¡°Hey, what¡¯s the matter, Director Xu? Why aren¡¯t you guys heading in and standing here whispering about?¡±


    Xu Juan let go of Pei Yu and turned around to look, it was Guo Shao.


    Guo Shao didn¡¯t show up alone today, he¡¯d brought along some company; A young girl trailed behind him, dressed in a purple little formal attire. She had a head of long, black hair, was pretty and her makeup was done well, so it highlighted her attractiveness.


    Xu Juan recognized her, she was Guo Shao¡¯s younger cousin, Yue Xuelin. Which was to say, she was the fianc¨¦e that his mother had found for him.


    Xu Juan frowned and his entire expression changed, becoming on the verge of flying into a rage. Hurriedly, Guo Shao threw him a look to show that he was being wrongfully accused, this was the ¡°political task¡± his family had assigned him. He wasn¡¯t deliberately trying to make things hard for Xu Juan.


    Xu Juan remained silent.


    Guo Shao felt a little awkward: ¡°Let¡¯s just head in first, we¡¯ll talk after we¡¯ve eaten.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t appropriate for Xu Juan to directly refuse his hospitality, but Xu Juan could sense the mood of the person beside him¡ª¡ª Pei Yu didn¡¯t need him to explain anything. In those few seconds, he had understood their ¡°script¡± through the exchange of eye contact and was now even more tense.


    Faced with this, Xu Juan momentarily didn¡¯t know what to say. Pulling at Pei Yu¡¯s hand, he silently pushed the door open and entered the private room.


    T/N: hello,, i know it¡¯s been really long, but the past month has been a wild ride for me. the semester started for grad school, i moved across the country, and on the second day of classes, my mac decided to go on (permanent) strike. so i had to order a new son and it only got delivered earlier this week. [ Looks Off Yonder Distance. ] you know how they say ¡°¸£ÎÞË«ÖÁ£¬»ö²»µ¥ÐС±¡­ i feel like a textbook example [ rest!! ] i hope you¡¯ve all been well, the next one or two updates will still be sporadic but they¡¯ll resume regular schedule soon!


    also, deluge has an audio drama now!! i recently found out, i¡¯ve been so out of touch. but i am so excited!! it¡¯s on maoer fm.

 CH 25

    Xu Jiren was an entrepreneur of extremely proper and upright character, he didn¡¯t need to take advantage of his sons¡¯ and daughters¡¯ marriages to gain benefits. However, like other ordinary families, when it came to marriage, it was preferred that the other party was of a similar and appropriate social status. The bride¡¯s family could be of slightly lower status than the Xu family, but Xu Juan¡¯s wife must still be a beautiful young lady from a rich family, who had grown up in a first-rate environment. She should have good foresight and cut an imposing figure, lest she couldn¡¯t be shown off to the public.


    ¨C¨C These were what He Xiangzi had told Xu Juan on the phone today.


    Once she had finished, Xu Juan nearly rolled his eyes. He wanted to retort: ¡°If we went by your standards, back then when my father was still a country bumpkin with nothing to his name, was he unworthy of you?¡±


    But this, he only dared to think, and dared not voice.


    He Xiangzi once again pointed out all of Yue Xuelin¡¯s strengths, like how she was pretty, sensible, well-behaved, and adorable. She also went through a decent education and was admitted into some well-known school all on her own, and wasn¡¯t a young lady from a rich family who spent her days splurging and loafing around.


    Xu Juan got a headache from listening, immediately saying: ¡°Pei Yu also meets these standards, though. Pei Yu is prettier, more adorable and he¡¯s even more educated!¡±


    He Xiangzi was stunned: ¡°Who is Pei Yu?¡±


    Obnoxiously, Xu Juan said: ¡°My boyfriend.¡±


    He Xiangzi: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The consequences weren¡¯t difficult to imagine, Xu Juan was thoroughly scolded, and his mother furiously threw him a ¡°just you wait¡± before hanging up the call.


    Xu Juan hadn¡¯t expected that he wouldn¡¯t even be given the time to wait, and would see Yue Xuelin that very same night.


    In the lavishly decorated private room, a line of service staff entered in order and served all the dishes one after the other.


    At their round table, Yue Xuelin sat next to Guo Shao, Xu Juan and Pei Yu sat opposite each other, while Hou Shijie and the rest filled the seats in between.


    This was a rather upsetting dinner. Pei Yu¡¯s mood was very bad.


    Xu Juan¡¯s original intention was to take Pei Yu out to experience his social circle a little and let his heart feel more at ease, with the main purpose of cheering him up.


    But Xu Juan hadn¡¯t expected that the situation would develop in this direction. Now, everyone at the table was looking at them with eyes full of gossip.


    Without a doubt, everyone present was aware of the situation between Xu Juan and Yue Xuelin. Not to mention, they were all people from the same circle and knew the ¡°rules¡±, so they acknowledged that Xu Juan and Yue Xuelin were basically already married. Also, even if the marriage didn¡¯t go through eventually, marriage with Pei Yu was an even more impossible feat. Who didn¡¯t know that their Director Xu changed lovers like he changed clothes?


    Despite the fact that everyone maintained a respectable attitude, with no one saying anything or deliberately staring at them, the subtle atmosphere in the private room still made Pei Yu feel as if he were sitting on pins and needles.


    He had a vague perception that this group of people shared a sort of tacit mutual understanding, that he was the only one amongst them who was blindfolded, lost, and nervous. Knowing and not knowing, unable to comprehend the look in their gaze.


    ¡°Xu Juan.¡± Pei Yu was unable to swallow any of his food. He tugged at Xu Juan¡¯s hand under the table.


    Xu Juan placed some food onto Pei Yu¡¯s plate: ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m full.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°I¡¯d like to go home early.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    They were conversing very quietly, only they could hear themselves. Xu Juan paused his actions: ¡°Okay, then let¡¯s go.¡±


    Once he set his chopsticks down and picked up a napkin to wipe his lips, Guo Shao and Yue Xuelin instantly looked over.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Excuse us, I still have something to attend to, so I¡¯ll be going first.¡±


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    Then, he gave a polite smile: ¡°Pei laoshi and I will get going first, till next time.¡±


    ¡°All right, then. Drinks will be on me the next time, Director Xu!¡± Guo Shao waved at the door.


    The hotel¡¯s carpark was in the basement. Xu Juan and Pei Yu headed directly to the elevator upon leaving the private room.


    They had just stepped out of the elevator and gone but a few steps into the carpark when they heard a flurry of hurried footsteps behind them, accompanied by the voice of a girl calling out: ¡°Wait a moment!¡±


    Xu Juan turned around and to his surprise, saw that it was Yue Xuelin who had chased them outside.


    Perhaps she had been too rushed, but Yue Xuelin¡¯s hair was in a slight mess, and her breathing erratic: ¡°Director Xu, could I speak with you alone? It¡¯ll only take two minutes of your time.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan glanced at Pei Yu, and so did she. Although Pei Yu said nothing, his fingers that were twined with Xu Juan¡¯s unconsciously tightened.


    Xu Juan hesitated for a moment.


    He was intending to solve this issue anyway, but the main problem of this matter was with his mother. There was no need for him to express his displeasure at Yue Xuelin and make things awkward for the lady.


    ¡°Wait a little while for me, okay?¡± Xu Juan handed the car keys to Pei Yu, quietly saying, ¡°I¡¯ll be right back.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Since he had already put it this way, how could Pei Yu object?


    Xu Juan made sure to watch Pei Yu get into the car before turning around and walking towards Yue Xuelin.


    Despite wearing high heels today, when Yue Xuelin and Xu Juan were standing together, he was still a head taller than her. Just as Guo Shao had said, Yue Xuelin was slightly interested in Xu Juan. Else, she wouldn¡¯t have rushed to attend the banquet. They were all young masters and mistresses from rich families, which of them didn¡¯t care about their reputation?


    They walked a distance further and stopped behind one of the pillars in the underground carpark.


    ¡°What does Miss Yue wish to say to me?¡± Xu Juan spoke first, ¡°Why don¡¯t we make things clear in one go, so there won¡¯t be problems in the future.¡±


    He gave Yue Xuelin a small smile.


    Xu Juan¡¯s promiscuous nature ran deep into his bones; Every action of his, down to his brows and the corners of his eyes ¨C there was no way to hide his charisma.


    Standing this close to him, Yue Xuelin was stared at by him in close proximity and her face instantly flushed red. But she maintained courage and actually looked up at him, directly meeting his eyes.


    ¡°I know you don¡¯t wish to marry me.¡± Yue Xuelin said, ¡°But¡­ Perhaps, you can reconsider.¡±


    ¡°Consider what? There¡¯s no need for that, is there? What kind of person I am, you should have already heard of. Marrying me isn¡¯t a very good decision, you are the one who should reconsider, Miss Yue.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already considered it carefully!¡±


    Yue Xuelin clutched at her skirt, fingers tightening until her knuckles went white: ¡°I know why you don¡¯t wish to marry. You haven¡¯t had enough fun, so you don¡¯t want to be tied down. But you¡¯ll get to this point eventually, unless you remain single your entire life ¨C¨C How could your family allow you to remain single all your life?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°What if I said, if you marry me, I¡¯ll help you deal with your parents and won¡¯t stop you from doing whatever you want, and still allow you all your freedom outside? How¡¯s that? Do you think I¡¯m a suitable wife for you?¡±


    Yue Xuelin looked so well-behaved on the surface, but when she opened her mouth, it was outrageously shocking. Xu Juan was silent for a long time before finally saying: ¡°Why? We¡¯re not very close, are we. Do you like me that much?¡±


    ¡°N-no, I guess we¡¯re not.¡± Yue Xuelin¡¯s face reddened again. She looked down, deciding to tell the truth, ¡°I¡¯m different from you, I can only go with whatever my family arranges for me. No matter what, my husband has to be someone with authority and influence, someone who can bring benefits to my family¡­ I apologize for being so straightforward, but I¡¯m sure you understand.¡±


    Xu Juan acknowledged that he understood.


    She continued: ¡°This kind of marriage is basically for benefit, anyway. Whomever I marry, I cannot guarantee that my husband will be devoted to me. Since that¡¯s how it will be, I might as well pick someone I like. It doesn¡¯t matter if you like me or not, at the very least, you¡¯re hot and have a good figure.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Oh my god.


    Xu Juan had always bragged that he understood women very well, but now he was suddenly unsure. What was her motive? Was it because she found him pleasing to the eye?


    Indeed, he might be promiscuous and not have the best reputation, but among the men in their circle, who could be better than the other? Bluntly put, all men were trash. Someone like Pei Yu was one in a million.


    So, since she could only take her pick from a bunch of fuckboys, she might as well choose someone rich and good-looking, then lay out the situation in advance. At worst, after the marriage, they could still each have their own fun and avoid any bitterness or resentment.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help but laugh: ¡°You¡¯re cuter than I thought, not the slightest bit foolish.¡±


    Hearing so, Yue Xuelin looked up.


    Although her words were clear and logical, she was still a little panicked inside, and not as callous as she looked: ¡°Then, do you like me?¡±


    ¡°No, I already have someone I like.¡± Xu Juan patted her on the head, speaking half-sincerely.


    Yue Xuelin¡¯s face was nearly cooked at this point, unconsciously leaning a little closer to him: ¡°Is it that person just now?¡±


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t deny it, but he didn¡¯t admit it either.


    Yue Xuelin continued: ¡°Then, can you accept my proposal? If you¡¯re not opposed, Auntie He said, she wants to announce our engagement at your birthday party.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan went silent.


    To be honest, all he cared about was if he would be able to live as he pleased, he couldn¡¯t care less if his blank in the household registry was filled as ¡°married¡± or ¡°unmarried¡±. The reason why he was so unwilling was that he didn¡¯t want to shoulder the responsibility of having a family.


    Yet right now, Yue Xuelin was telling him that she didn¡¯t need him to be responsible, they could each take what they needed from the other.


    Xu Juan was a little tempted ¨C¨C If getting married could solve the problems with his family, and there wouldn¡¯t be any trouble after the marriage, why shouldn¡¯t he get married?


    But he remembered Pei Yu.


    ¨C¨C Pei Yu would probably be hurt, wouldn¡¯t he?


    ¡°I¡¯ll give it some thought.¡± Xu Juan gave a vague response, then they exchanged their WeChat and added each other as friends before concluding the conversation.


    ¡­¡­


    On the way back, Xu Juan took a long time to find his car.


    He walked over to the passenger side and knocked on the window, but to his surprise, he realized that there was no one in the passenger seat, and the driver¡¯s seat was empty as well.


    Xu Juan was stunned: ¡°Pei Yu?¡±


    In the night, the carpark was dimly lit, with only a couple of little lamps glowing faintly in the distance.


    Xu Juan adjusted his line of sight to look further into the car window, finding Pei Yu sitting in the backseat. His head was lowered, expression gravely silent.


    ¡°Why are you sitting here?¡± Xu Juan pulled the car door open and sat down beside him.


    He had yet to sit properly when a strong force wrapped around his waist and hauled him over.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan¡¯s vision blurred for two seconds. He was leaning awkwardly in Pei Yu¡¯s arms, tightly held, and his field of vision dimmed. Pei Yu didn¡¯t kiss him, instead, he buried his face against his neck and inhaled deeply.


    ¡°Xu Juan.¡± Pei Yu finally spoke, ¡°I feel a little unwell, let me hold you for a while.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Where are you feeling unwell?¡±


    ¡°In my heart.¡±


    Pei Yu¡¯s voice deepened, and he suddenly asked: ¡°What were you discussing with her? You¡¯ve rejected her, right? Did you clear things up with her and will she still look for you in the future?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan had originally intended to hint Pei Yu at his and Yue Xuelin¡¯s marriage agreement, and test Pei Yu¡¯s threshold of acceptance. However, now was clearly not the right time for it.


    He made a vague noise of assent.


    Pei Yu hugged him quietly, wordlessly, and his emotions calmed down.


    After a while, Pei Yu said: ¡°I don¡¯t want to be introduced to your friends anymore, I don¡¯t like them.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s all right.¡± Xu Juan hugged him back, ¡°As long as you like me, I¡¯m good.¡±


    ¡°Then, do you like me too?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I especially like you.¡± Once the words left Xu Juan¡¯s lips, he received a sweet kiss.


    Pei Yu¡¯s mood finally cleared up.

 CH 26

    Ever since he met Yue Xuelin that time, Xu Juan had something harboured in his heart that he wanted to discuss with Pei Yu.


    In all honesty, he was aware that it was possible Yue Xuelin had laid out a trap for him, but it was all right. For someone like him who knew no shame, it didn¡¯t matter what the girl was thinking. The only important thing was that she had first given him a promise, spoken from her own lips. Then, in the future, once they were married, no matter how unreasonably he behaved, he could still remain on his moral high ground.


    This was the modus operandi of fuckboys. Did you think they would be dumber than you? That would be too naive.


    But in Xu Juan¡¯s heart, there was still an unexpected variable, Pei Yu.


    Frankly speaking, if his current partner were Li Mengzhou, he would have sealed the deal with Yue Xuelin right away, without hesitation.


    What was the big deal about marriage? He would have a wife at home to deal with issues, while he messed around to his heart''s content. This was too easy a life, and if his wife wanted to have kids, what would Xu Juan even have to sacrifice?


    Should Yue Xuelin desperately want to have children out of familial interest, then as long as she was willing to bear children, she could bear children. What was so difficult about that for Xu Juan? He would be able to take advantage of the situation to get sex, so he didn¡¯t care.


    Without a doubt, Xu Juan¡¯s way of thinking was not only selfish, it was a little heartless as well. But this was just the cold, hard truth.


    When one arrived at a crossroads and had to make a decision, they should first get the facts sorted out before starting to plan; What were the things weighing down each side of the scale, and which side would matter most in the end?


    After weighing his options, Xu Juan concluded, on the right side: As long as he agreed to the marriage, all the so-called ¡°life events¡± that his parents had been torturing him over would be completely settled. It would be the end of all his problems and he would no longer have to worry about the future. If he let the opportunity that Yue Xuelin had offered him go, he would probably never get another one that could surpass it.


    While on the left side, there was only one Pei Yu.


    ¨C¨C Was Pei Yu important?


    If he weren¡¯t, Xu Juan wouldn¡¯t have had to consider it so thoroughly.


    But if he were important enough, then he also wouldn¡¯t be hesitating. He clearly knew that Pei Yu would be hurt, so the best course of action for Pei Yu would be for him to directly reject Yue Xuelin.


    However, apart from that, Xu Juan had another thought in his heart ¨C¨C Once he began to integrate ¡°Pei Yu¡± into the weighing scale of his life, then he would no longer be able to deny that Pei Yu held a special place in his heart.


    This wasn¡¯t the kind of development he liked.


    Xu Juan silently pondered this matter for a few days, fluctuating between the states of ¡°self-control¡± and ¡°just go with the flow of whatever makes him happy¡± for a long while. Eventually, he felt that he was overthinking.


    What was he afraid of? Afraid that he would become dependent on Pei Yu?


    He knew it was impossible just by thinking about it. Old habits die hard. To put it more bluntly, a dog can''t stop itself from eating shit. Someone like him who was a fuckboy through and through, how could he become dedicated?


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    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Tightly wrapped around his waist, Pei Yu exhaled warm air by his ear, ¡°Not secretly pinching leaves behind my back, are you?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan let out a laugh: ¡°No, can you not take me for a plant-murdering villain? I¡¯m so full of love, even helped you water the flowers.¡±


    He turned around and gave Pei Yu a kiss: ¡°You¡¯re back so early, have you eaten?¡±


    ¡°I have. You?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve eaten, too.¡± Xu Juan squirmed out of Pei Yu¡¯s embrace and went to the washroom to rinse the soil off his hands. When he was exiting, Pei Yu had just finished cutting a plate of oranges, stuffing a slice into Xu Juan¡¯s mouth.


    Chewing with his mouth full, Xu Juan mumbled: ¡°Pei Yu, I have something I want to tell you.¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡± Pei Yu passed the fruit platter over to him and went to change in the bedroom. The first thing he did when he came home every day was to change out of his formal wear into comfortable lounge clothes, before heading into the study to work overtime. He would be writing papers or preparing materials for his lessons. Basically, he was very busy and rarely took a break.


    Xu Juan stood in the living room, staring into the open door of the bedroom. For a moment, it was as if his mouth had been sewn shut, he couldn¡¯t speak. But he still chose to say it in the end.


    ¡°That day, Yue Xuelin and I had a short discussion.¡± Once these words were said, Pei Yu paused in the middle of undoing his buttons and slowly turned his head to glance at him.


    Xu Juan said: ¡°Her words caught me off guard. Essentially, she said that if I was willing, she and I could get into a marriage for the sake of putting up appearances, and she would help deal with my parents. What she wants are the benefits that come with the marriage, as long as it helps the Yue family, she doesn¡¯t care for anything else.¡±


    Pei Yu¡¯s expression went stiff: ¡°What are you saying?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m discussing with you.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°What do you think?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu shifted his gaze away from his face to settle on the closet door, then he finished changing in silence. After which, he repeated his question, asking Xu Juan: ¡°What are you saying?¡±


    Holding the fruit platter, Xu Juan walked over to the bedroom door: ¡°What I¡¯m saying is, if you consent to me getting into a marriage of appearances with her, then I¡¯ll be able to easily solve my family issues. In the future, we won¡¯t have any other problems by being together, no one will get in our way.¡±


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t reply.


    Xu Juan could only see the side of his face and his expression wasn¡¯t good; It was as if a piece of blank, white paper was splashed with ink, and the stain had bled into his eyes, irritating them. When he turned around to look at Xu Juan again, his eyes had reddened.


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡± Pei Yu said, his voice low, ¡°What you mean to say is, you lied to me that day. You didn¡¯t reject her at all. The both of you privately discussed these countermeasures? Then why didn¡¯t you tell me in the past few days? You hid it from me and I didn¡¯t know anything. I was even in high spirits while preparing your birthday present, while you¡­ you were planning to marry her?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a real marriage.¡± Xu Juan emphasized once more, ¡°Do you consent to it, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± Pei Yu said, without hesitation.


    He walked out of the bedroom and pushed away Xu Juan, who was blocking the doorway. After a few steps, he abruptly turned around again, restrained anger and disappointment written all over his face: ¡°What exactly is a marriage for the sake of appearances? Can you explain it? No marriage certificate? No wedding? No public announcement?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°That isn¡¯t it, am I right? You will get the marriage certificate. You will invite all your friends and relatives to the wedding ceremony, they will wish you a long and fruitful marriage. She will be your proper, legal wife! And you will have me be your secret love affair?!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not my intention.¡±


    ¡°Then what is your intention?!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu rarely lost his temper and basically never raised his voice at Xu Juan. He was so gentle, Xu Juan could bully and tease him however he wanted, and when he hurt him, he merely had to indulge him a little and it would be all right again.


    But the more this was so, the less seriously Xu Juan seemed to take him. He assumed that he had no bottom line, that he would be accepting of everything.


    ¡°I¨C¨C¡± Pei Yu inhaled deeply, ¡°I don¡¯t quite understand. Is today April Fool¡¯s, Xu Juan? Are you playing a prank on me?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m not.¡±


    ¡°Then why are you saying such things? You¡¯re being serious? You really plan to marry her?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m discussing with you.¡±


    Xu Juan put the fruit platter down on the cabinet beside him, then walked over to Pei Yu. However, Pei Yu said: ¡°I don¡¯t think this matter warrants any discussion. If it were me and some other woman getting married and I told you, don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s only marriage for the sake of appearances, could you accept it?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Well, of course not.


    Xu Juan felt a headache coming on. He reached out to hug Pei Yu, burying his face against Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder and saying in a small voice: ¡°You¡¯re the only one I like. I don¡¯t like her.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s still a no. What do you take me for? Don¡¯t you care about my feelings at all, Xu Juan?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°You just don¡¯t.¡± Pei Yu¡¯s voice softened again. He said, lowly, ¡°While you were pursuing me, I felt that you really, really liked me. I know that actually, you can barely stay awake at seven in the morning, yet you insisted on texting me good morning. But after we got together, I could no longer feel how much you liked me. The more time passed, the more I felt as if¡­¡­ you no longer liked me very much. Only when I¡¯m upset, would you spare me just a little love. Neither do you seem willing to do much for me anymore.¡±


    Pei Yu cupped Xu Juan¡¯s face in his hands: ¡°Have I wronged you in any way? Think about it, isn¡¯t this how you¡¯ve been treating me?¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡± Xu Juan said innocently, ¡°I didn¡¯t do it on purpose. I do still like you very much, much more than before.¡±


    In this position, he kissed Pei Yu¡¯s fingers: ¡°I only wish to solve these problems. The marriage is only for keeping up appearances. Yue Xuelin and I will each take what we need and owe each other nothing. You are my true lover.¡±


    Pei Yu yanked his hand away forcefully: ¡°Listen to yourself. You¡¯re discussing with me right now? You¡¯re persuading me to consent! Since you¡¯ve already decided and made your choice, why ask for my opinion?!¡±


    Xu Juan made a choked noise.


    ¡°I have a question.¡± Pei Yu continued.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°You like women too, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°You like men, you also like women. Then once you marry her and become a family, you won¡¯t even spend a day with her? What if your family wants you to have children? You¡¯ll go to bed with her, won¡¯t you? ¨C¨C You¡¯ll get a marriage certificate with another, have a grand wedding with them, go to bed with them, have children with them, yet in the end, you still want to say that I am your ¡®true lover¡¯? Xu Juan, do you think me an ignorant eighteen-year-old?!¡±


    Xu Juan had nothing to say.


    All his desires were selfish and despicable; He wanted the best of both worlds, to covertly enjoy the pleasure of having multiple partners, but Pei Yu wasn¡¯t willing.


    No matter how foolish Pei Yu might be, he wasn¡¯t truly a fool.


    ¡°Do you really love me?¡± Pei Yu suddenly asked.


    Xu Juan nodded.


    Pei Yu stared at him for a good few seconds. Although he was furious, his love still gained the upper hand and he was willing to speak to him civilly: ¡°Since you love me, why can¡¯t we solve this problem in a better way? Isn¡¯t the real solution to convince your parents? Why must you go accordingly to their wishes? You¡¯re already an adult, Xu Juan, why let others dictate your life? Can¡¯t you refuse them?¡±


    Xu Juan froze, his expression becoming a little complicated.


    Pei Yu was unaware. He took Xu Juan¡¯s ¡°I love you¡± too seriously and thought he could say whatever he wanted. But, every sentence was sincere and came from the bottom of his heart: ¡°I¡¯m not sure if I¡¯m right, could it be¡­ due to financial reasons? Because you live in a house gifted by your mother, you drive an expensive sports car, your closet is full of luxury items. A pair of your shoes is equivalent to another¡¯s monthly salary. You could open a bottle of wine during any meal on a whim, but that could fund an ordinary person¡¯s expenses for half a year. You spend your family¡¯s money, so you have no choice but to comply with their wishes. Is that the case, Xu Juan?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Embarrassment coloured Xu Juan¡¯s face. This was the epitome of having one¡¯s sore spot jabbed at.


    However, Pei Yu still wished to continue the heart-to-heart: ¡°Have you ever thought about changing? You can live your own life, go to work properly, you¨C¨C¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s enough.¡± Xu Juan finally interrupted, ¡°I get it, I already get that you don¡¯t consent.¡±


    He took two steps back, putting some distance between himself and Pei Yu.


    His sudden indifference stunned Pei Yu and they stared at each other in silence for a few seconds.


    All at once, Xu Juan felt that there was no meaning to this.


    Pei Yu liked him so much, but it wasn¡¯t even the real him that he liked. If he abandoned his charming facade, the real him was but someone who indulged in a life of luxury, who was a scum right down to his bones, who had no desire for progress or improvement; Pei Yu didn¡¯t like that version of him.


    Everything was so damn meaningless.


    What was he even doing?


    In the living room, the French windows let in the sunlight too well; The bright flecks reflected right off the floor, abruptly making Xu Juan feel that his eyes hurt.


    He avoided the hand that Pei Yu reached out and found a random excuse: ¡°I need to head out for something, will be back late.¡±


    Then, he left Pei Yu there and rushed out of the house.


    ¡°¨C¨CXu Juan!¡±


    As for the voice calling out after him, he feigned complete ignorance.

 CH 27

    When Xu Juan left the house, the day was still bright.


    The September breeze made its way around the city. He didn¡¯t know where to go, resigning himself to driving wherever the wind led him.


    He had never expected that he would end up arguing with Pei Yu.


    What had he even been thinking before that? It seemed he hadn¡¯t really given it much thought. It was true that he hadn¡¯t taken Pei Yu seriously, he wasn¡¯t worried that Pei Yu would get mad and he didn¡¯t think Pei Yu¡¯s reaction would affect him too much. So, his words were very direct. Rather than discussing with Pei Yu like he¡¯d said, it was more of him informing Pei Yu and giving him a head¡¯s up.


    However, Pei Yu¡¯s opposition wasn¡¯t unreasonable. He knew that Pei Yu was a man of integrity, he wouldn¡¯t tolerate a single grain of sand in his eyes.


    Then, why had he dared to challenge Pei Yu?


    It was probably due to his deep-seated self-confidence, he assumed that he would be able to coax the naive Pei laoshi into agreement with a few words from his honeyed tongue.


    Indeed, even in the end, Pei Yu wasn¡¯t angry with him.


    That was a fool whose mind was muddled with love. He had actually attempted to persuade him to abandon his improper methods and become a decent person, to return himself to the correct path.


    Xu Juan let out a laugh.


    It often baffled him, he couldn¡¯t understand just how someone could love another this much.


    Pei Yu was not the first person that loved him.


    He had splendid good looks and an illustrious family background. After all, weren¡¯t people in this era the same? They either judged someone by their looks or worshipped money. He just so happened to have them both. Seriously speaking, with his qualifications, if he wanted to debut as a celebrity, he wouldn¡¯t have to do anything. Once he put out his picture and personal history, then spent a little money on marketing, he would be able to attract a hoard of fans who loved him.


    But what was it that they loved?


    Even Xu Juan himself had no clue.


    He, too, judged others by their looks and liked beauties. But sexual appeal in itself was merely amusement to him, it was like watching a movie or playing cards, a sort of mental entertainment.


    Perhaps, when others loved him, it was for the same reason.


    Everyone was doing the same thing, entertaining one another and not taking each other seriously. Wasn¡¯t it enough that they were happy?


    Was Pei Yu the same?


    Definitely not. Subjectively, Pei Yu would never use him as entertainment. However, from an objective point of view, was Pei Yu¡¯s love for him truly considered love?


    Even he himself was a fake, so how could the love be genuine?


    Anyhow, why should he care about these things? He wasn¡¯t willing to drop his facade for someone else and beg for them to truly love him. That would¡¯ve been too unrealistic a thought.


    But then again, didn¡¯t everyone¡¯s happiness stem from ¡°unrealistic thoughts¡±?


    Though it was all chaos in Xu Juan¡¯s heart, there was a streak of clarity within.


    He knew all too well; What really jabbed at his sore spot wasn¡¯t any of that nonsense about true love or whatnot. After all, how much small change could love be worth? Since he himself hadn¡¯t invested anything, what did he have to lose?


    Qtja tjv fwyjggjrrfv tlw kjr atf ojma atja Ufl Te tjv jmaejiis ecvfgrabbv fnfgsatlcu. Lf tjv atbeuta atja lc ogbca bo Ufl Te, tf tjv wjlcajlcfv jc lwjuf bo qfgofmalbc. Dea atf gfjilas kjr atja atf batfg tjv ibcu rlcmf rffc atgbeut tlw ¨C¨C Lf kjr yea j olcjcmljiis vfqfcvfca vewyjrr ogbw j glmt ojwlis ktb gfilfv bc tlr qjgfcar ab reqqbga tlr fzagjnjujca ilofrasif.


    ¨C¨CTruly a dumbass.


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t sure just what he had been performing in front of Pei Yu for. He had even taken Pei Yu for a fool when in truth, the way Pei Yu saw him was probably not too different from how he himself saw Guo Shao.


    All incompetent men have fragile egos.


    The weaker one was, the lesser blows their ego would be able to withstand. Xu Juan now understood, he was exactly like this. No matter how charming or perfect he had crafted his facade to be, it was all papier-mache.


    He no longer wanted to see Pei Yu again.


    At least, for now.


    Xu Juan stopped his car on the roadside and went to get himself a pack of cigarettes from the supermarket.


    Generally, he didn¡¯t smoke, mostly because he detested the way smoke clung to him. But in comparison to heavy drinking, smoking was at least slightly less harmful.


    See, he treated himself so well.


    Despite being in a bad mood and wanting to vent, he would choose something that wasn¡¯t too unhealthy. He loved himself so much, no one would ever love Xu Juan more than Xu Juan himself.


    Still, he couldn¡¯t wrap his head around it; What did Xu Juan have that was worthy of being loved? Apart from wealth that didn¡¯t belong to him, from his good looks that would erode with the passing of time, was there anything more?


    Even if outsiders made no comment, at home, he was still the child that his parents disliked the most. Who was to be blamed?


    It had never been a matter of fate being unjust.


    That he was where he was today, had entirely been his own choice.


    Was this considered a failure? Xu Juan didn¡¯t know.


    At this very moment, he knew what his own thoughts were, but it also seemed as if he knew nothing. This wasn¡¯t important anymore. To him, no person or thing could be considered important. As a matter of fact, he was a person who desired nothing.


    He stood there, on the side of the road, smoking the entire afternoon away.


    When it was nearly dark outside, his phone rang. Xu Juan¡¯s eye twitched at the vibration, and he took his time fishing out the phone. He glanced down, it was Hou Shijie calling.


    ¡°Ge, what are you doing tonight? Wanna come out and have some fun?¡± On the other end of the line, the music was deafening. Hou Shijie had probably gone off god-knows-where to mess around again. Worried that Xu Juan hadn¡¯t heard him, he raised his voice and yelled, ¡°It¡¯ll be your birthday after midnight! Come out tonight! I have a few girls here, they¡¯re all super hot! You coming, ge!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was literally in the middle of contemplating life, nearly cultivating to the point of immortality, but was suddenly doused with the familiar stench of secular corruption, and he almost choked.


    ¡°Nah.¡± He said listlessly, ¡°You guys have fun, I¡¯m a little tired.¡±


    ¡°Oh, all right then, you rest early. Don¡¯t you still have a birthday party tomorrow, it¡¯s also kind of physically exhausting¨C¨C No, wait, it¡¯s not even seven, you¡¯re retiring to bed so early?!¡± Hou Shijie was bewildered, his shouts making Xu Juan¡¯s ears hurt.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t be bothered to entertain him and directly hung up.


    Honestly, it was strange. He had grown up with Hou Shijie and he was better than Hou Shijie in every aspect. But if he had to say, between the two of them, who was more laid-back, Xu Juan wouldn¡¯t say it was himself.


    Why so?


    Because Hou Shijie was satisfied with what he had?


    He, too, should be quite content now, but perhaps not completely so? He should have completely gone with the flow, demanding nothing from anyone or anything. Anyway, he never cared to begin with.


    Take Pei Yu for example; Pei Yu could say whatever he wanted. If he became displeased, at most, he could just change his partner, after all, he would never lack for one.


    In fact, the next one would even be more obedient.


    Xu Juan exhaled a ring of smoke, slowly lowering himself to a squat.


    He was kind of exhausted.


    Earlier, he had driven aimlessly and with no direction. When he¡¯d gotten out of the car, he hadn¡¯t taken note of where he had stopped, either.


    Night was falling. He was dressed head to toe in expensive clothing, yet appeared like a good-for-nothing roaming the streets, squatting under a streetlamp with a cigarette dangling from his lips. Under the borrowed golden glow of the lamp, he looked around him; It seemed like he was near Qingjing Gallery.


    Xu Juan spaced out, the memory of the last time he was at Qingjing Gallery suddenly resurfacing.


    That day, he had met Pei Yu for the second time.


    Back then, he had used unscrupulous means to worm his way close to Pei Yu. Pei Yu fell for his trap and got into his car.


    During that short car ride, Xu Juan had carefully observed Pei Yu¡¯s expressions while driving half-heartedly. Then, he had sent Pei Yu to Qingjing Gallery, met a drunk Pei Yu yet again that night outside the restaurant, sent Pei Yu home, wrote Pei Yu a calligraphy scroll of ¡°Preface to the Poems Composed at the Orchid Pavilion¡±, borrowed Pei Yu¡¯s clothes¨C¨C


    A month was too short.


    All that happened a whole month ago felt as if it had been just yesterday.


    Yesterday, he had said to Pei Yu: ¡°Have you ever heard the story of travelling to the lake and borrowing an umbrella?¡±


    Today, there was no umbrella. Bai Suzhen had been imprisoned beneath the Leifeng Pagoda, thinking to herself, who did Xu Xian think he was? She gave up her peaceful life as a demon and insisted on flooding Jinshan Temple. In the end, she had been reduced to such a state. Was it worth it?


    Perhaps Xu Xian was also thinking, who did she think she was? She was just a mere snake spirit, if she¡¯s been imprisoned, then just let her be.


    Xu Juan started laughing, he couldn¡¯t help it.


    As he laughed, he reached the end of his last cigarette, the entire pack was empty.


    Xu Juan finally decided it was time to go home.


    It was his house, there was no reason not to return.


    Besides, it had already been quite some time, and the house was definitely empty and deserted now ¨C¨C He had done something so unreasonable. If even clay figures possessed some degree of temper, let alone Pei Yu?


    Xu Juan stood up from beneath the streetlamp and walked towards his car. He got in and drove in the direction of home.


    When one wasn¡¯t in a good mood, what they feared most was having it coincide with special days.


    Just like how during the New Year¡¯s festivities, everyone would be happy celebrating. If you were the only unhappy one, that unhappiness would multiply into two. Birthdays followed the same reasoning.


    Xu Juan had never had such a disheartening birthday. Although, it wasn¡¯t midnight yet, so it wasn¡¯t considered his birthday.


    It wasn¡¯t too far from it, though.


    On the way home, he passed by a street of snack vendors. He got out of the car to buy some food, then stood by the roadside in the breeze for a while.


    He was deliberately dragging out the time, but for what reason?


    Maybe it was because he felt Pei Yu might still be home. If he were, then things would get a little awkward.


    But, frankly speaking, if Pei Yu had really left, that wouldn¡¯t make him happy either.


    Xu Juan wasn¡¯t looking forward to confirming if Pei Yu was still there or not, but he would eventually have to go home. If not now, then later.


    He dragged out the time until late into the night.


    At eleven fifty, Xu Juan finally parked his car back in the garage.


    It was pitch black in the courtyard.


    The entire villa was enveloped in darkness, not a single light had been left on.


    Holding his breath, Xu Juan opened the door, turned on the lights.


    The bedroom door was open, so was the door to the study ¨C¨C There was no one, Pei Yu had really left.


    Xu Juan let out the breath that he had been holding and glanced down at the time on his phone: ¡°All right, then. Happy birthday to me.¡±


    T/N: i¡¯ll be honest, i felt a little bad for xu juan here. i get him to some extent, it¡¯s a very lonely way of thinking. to be afraid of disappointment so you expect nothing, to be afraid of losing what you have so you desire nothing.

 CH 28

    Pei Yu had left. As to what extent he had left, if he had taken all his things with him, Xu Juan didn¡¯t check.


    Without bothering to undress, he went into the bedroom, sprawled onto the bed, and closed his eyes, sleeping through the entire night.


    It was a lonely night.


    He no longer had the warmth of someone else¡¯s body beside him and was inevitably a little unaccustomed to it. But it wasn¡¯t a big issue.


    His conscience prickling, Xu Juan thought, this wasn¡¯t too bad.


    Should he be willing to consider what was good for Pei Yu, then they should just break it off here and stop their involvement with each other. Putting an earlier end to their relationship was a good thing for Pei Yu.


    Pei laoshi was such a good person; It truly was a pity that he was pulled into the disaster that was Xu Juan. Right now, it had only been a little over a month, if Pei Yu wanted to escape, it wasn¡¯t yet too difficult.


    Mulling over this, Xu Juan gradually dozed off.


    The next morning, he was woken up by the vibrations of his phone.


    ¡°Hello?¡± Half-awake, Xu Juan answered the call.


    It was Yue Xuelin: ¡°Director Xu, happy birthday.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    A majority of Xu Juan¡¯s bleariness dissipated. He rolled over and sat up, glancing down at his clothes, thoroughly rumpled from sleep, and couldn¡¯t help frowning. However, he maintained a polite tone: ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Yue Xuelin let out a quiet laugh. Though her voice was gentle and soft, her words were straightforward: ¡°Have you decided? I¡¯m awaiting your answer.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Xu Juan replied, then switched his phone over to his left hand, undoing his buttons with his right and taking his shirt off, ¡°It seems I have no reason to reject.¡±


    ¡°All right, then I¡¯ll be waiting for you.¡±


    Once the call ended, Xu Juan sat, half-naked, at the side of the bed, and fell into a few seconds of silence.


    Indeed, he had no reason to reject the engagement.


    The left side of the weighing scale was already empty, was there still a need to choose?


    Now that things had come to this, he abruptly realized that he felt no joy. Once he made this decision today, then his entire life from this moment forth would be determined, wouldn¡¯t it? There would no longer be anything to look forward to.


    But if he refused the engagement, he didn¡¯t know which direction he should head in, either, and there still wouldn¡¯t be anything he could look forward to.


    So be it, then.


    Xu Juan stopped thinking, got out of bed to shower, wash his face and brush his teeth. Then, he picked out a set of formal attire from his wardrobe.


    Maintaining his image was already carved into his bones. He might not be the most accomplished, but he at least knew how to dress himself up so neatly and elegantly that no one could find a single fault.


    Before he went out, Xu Juan picked a cologne with a relatively light fragrance. When that scent enveloped him, his mood lifted significantly.


    Finally, once he had gotten ready, he drove in the direction of the hotel.


    ¡­¡­


    By convention, the young Director Xu¡¯s annual birthday party was a very happening event in their social circle.


    As for what ¡°circle¡± it referred to, it generally encompassed the rich. Included were not only individuals from the world of business and the entertainment industry. Obviously, these people weren¡¯t here for Xu Juan. The majority of people who tried to get close to him had essentially done so due to his father, older brother, or older sister.


    There was also another group of people who painstakingly shoved their heads into participating solely for the sake of networking. It was as if only those qualified to attend Xu Juan¡¯s birthday party were considered true members of high society.


    For this reason, every year on this day, Xu Juan would feel as if he were no different from a mascot.


    Else, considering that his company was hanging by a thread, was it worth having so many people holding him up from beneath his useless feet?


    We Aejc vgbnf atf mjg ab atf fcagjcmf bo atf tbafi jcv tjcvfv la bnfg ab j njifa obg qjgxlcu.


    Llr qtbcf tjv yffc glculcu cbcrabq rlcmf wbgclcu, ylgatvjs klrtfr oliilcu lc ogbw atf wjrrfr. Lf ujnf qfgoecmabgs gfrqbcrfr ab tlr Qfmtja afzar ktlif kjixlcu lc.


    Ktf fcalgf yelivlcu bo Qjcpe tjv yffc fwqalfv obg atf qegqbrf bo mfifygjalcu tlr ylgatvjs.


    Once he entered the hotel, he saw bouquets and flower arrangements of well-wishes filling nearly half the lobby. Xu Juan gave a quick glance; He didn¡¯t recognize many of the names signed off on the greeting cards. There were some he had a vague impression of, but couldn¡¯t recall their faces.


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t care about these things.


    He took a photo of the flowers in passing, came up with some polite words of gratitude for the caption, then posted it on his Moments.


    It was still early and the guests haven¡¯t all arrived yet, the party would only start a little later.


    All matters for today were personally overseen by He Xiangzi, Xu Juan only needed to care about being a mascot. And so, he reached out to Yue Xuelin and the both of them entered a lounge on the second floor.


    The lounge was strategically located, with front-facing French windows from the hotel¡¯s entrance.


    Xu Juan stood by the window and looked down. He didn¡¯t say anything and neither did Yue Xuelin disturb him, sitting on the sofa and quietly playing with her phone.


    Xu Juan was very content with this; If they were able to maintain this state where one didn¡¯t bother the other, even after marriage, it would be simply too peaceful.


    After a while, when he was tired of standing, he went to sit on the sofa opposite Yue Xuelin to fiddle with his phone too.


    His Wechat messages were still coming in strong.


    Xu Juan had already muted his notifications earlier.


    He opened his Moments. The ¡°thanks for the birthday wishes¡± post he had sent earlier had garnered a lot of likes and comments. Apart from people like Guo Shao and Hou Shijie, there were also some from exes he had yet to delete, such as Li Mengzhou. Although he didn¡¯t send a private message to bother him, he left a like on this post.


    Xu Juan stared at Li Mengzhou¡¯s like, his thoughts drifting a little.


    He thought, a person like Li Mengzhou was smart. He knew that there was no longer any possibility of getting back together, so he didn¡¯t send anything in private chats. However, he still cherished those past memories, or he had already let them go and was willing to do a ¡°like exchange¡± with Xu Juan. As such, when they thought of each other in the future, it was as if they had become friends and no longer harboured awkwardness between them.


    But what about Pei Yu?


    After breaking up, Pei Yu would no doubt delete him immediately, wouldn¡¯t he? Forget exchanging likes and whatnot, he would probably find him annoying whenever he saw him.


    Xu Juan laughed.


    In a sudden moment of realization, he found that whenever he thought of Pei Yu, his chest would feel a little tight, but it wasn¡¯t too painful. In fact, he was even somewhat happy.


    The source of this happiness was unclear, it baffled him to no end.


    Perhaps, it was because he still liked Pei Yu ¨C¨C He wasn¡¯t sick of him yet, but they unexpectedly broke up. This relationship didn¡¯t have an amicable end, it was destroyed before its time was up. His passion had yet to dwindle and was now trapped in his heart, like a fish bone in his throat.


    Shaking his head, Xu Juan dragged the screen down to refresh the page.


    Several new names appeared in the list of likes, but what surprised him was that he actually saw Pei Yu¡¯s name.


    Xu Juan was stunned, suspecting that his eyes had gone out of focus and seen wrong ¨C¨C The other clearly knew that today was his birthday, they had discussed this matter several times before. He had even mentioned that he would be holding a birthday party. Pei Yu had ignored him the whole of today, it was obvious that it meant they no longer had anything to do with each other. So how was it possible that he would now like his post?


    Sure enough, when he refreshed again, it was gone.


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was unsure if it was because Pei Yu had deleted his like, or if he was hallucinating.


    Since things had already come to this, then so be it.


    With a lazy yawn, Xu Juan glanced down at the time; It was almost time to head into the event hall, so he stood up and walked out with Yue Xuelin.


    This year, his birthday party was grander than the ones from previous years.


    At first glance, it didn¡¯t seem like he was celebrating his birthday. Rather, it gave off the vibe of an engagement ceremony.


    Xu Juan felt that his mother had deliberately arranged it this way. Madam He Xiangzi was terribly eager for him to get engaged right there, on the spot.


    On this rare occasion, Xu Juan was very well-behaved, standing with Yue Xuelin, one at He Xiangzi¡¯s left, the other at her right, making polite conversation with guests. It went without saying that they truly resembled a pair of newlyweds.


    However, even though the news of his engagement with Yue Xuelin had already more or less gone around, they still needed to announce it in person so it could be considered official.


    He Xiangzi wanted Xu Juan to announce it during the cake-cutting and Xu Juan had no objections.


    What surprised Xu Juan more was that his older brother had arrived very early today. Not only did he get here early, he even sought him out alone for a chat.


    Xu Juan was very flattered to receive this favour.


    Only the Heavens knew how busy Xu Zhouyi was with work, it had already been a few months since they¡¯d last seen each other.


    To be honest, his relationship with his older brother wasn¡¯t considered bad. ¡°Not bad¡± basically meant that they both minded their own business. Xu Zhouyi rarely paid attention to him, if any issues arose, Xu Zhouyi would transfer a sum of money to him so he could mess around out of his sight and not waste his own time.


    On the surface, this looked to be doting, but it was actually just for keeping up appearances. After all, in their family, the thing they lacked the least was money.


    A few years back, when Xu Juan struggled to start a business by himself, he ran into many difficulties.


    Many things in this world seemed easy to accomplish until one attempted them. When he was hard-pressed, Xu Juan did consider asking his father or older brother for help. If Xu Zhouyi had personally given him some pointers, perhaps his road to entrepreneurship would have been smoother.


    But on one hand, Xu Zhouyi was too busy and they didn¡¯t communicate much, to begin with. On the other hand, Xu Juan felt a little embarrassed ¨C¨C His problem was too insignificant; While Xu Zhouyi worked on Olympiad problems, how mortifying would it be if he brought a question like ¡°1+1=?¡± to bother his older brother?


    Also, the him who had solemnly vowed to ¡°courageously be true to himself¡± couldn¡¯t bring himself to turn back with his tail between his legs and admit his shortcomings, without first accomplishing something great on his own merit.


    Unexpectedly, the sun seemed to have risen from the west today. Xu Zhouyi initiated the conversation, asking worriedly: ¡°I heard you¡¯re getting engaged?¡±


    Xu Juan said he was.


    Xu Zhouyi nodded: ¡°Getting married early is good. Since you don¡¯t wish to get into business, you might as well settle down early. A man should at least be responsible for one other person.¡±


    This made Xu Juan laugh: ¡°Yes, I will definitely take care of my family in the future. I''ll be a good husband who helps out his wife and teaches his children.¡±


    Xu Zhouyi: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    After he successfully angered his older brother into leaving, Xu Juan stood alone in a corner of the event hall. The smile on his lips gradually faded and his mood started to sink once more.


    He didn¡¯t want to admit it, but he was missing Pei Yu again.


    Perhaps, his love for Pei Yu didn¡¯t hold much weight, but at times when no one understood him ¨C¨C admittedly, it was his own fault for being undeserving of being understood ¨C¨C he would particularly miss that one night when he and Pei Yu went up that mountain peak, looked at stars together and had a heart-to-heart.


    Xu Juan thought, maybe he had done things wrongly.


    From this day six years ago, he had been doing things wrongly.


    But he no longer had any desire to make things right.


    All his aspirations had already been worn down to nothing. As for how the rest of his days would pass, if they were good or bad, it probably didn¡¯t matter anymore.


    He returned to the center of the crowd once again.


    It was finally time to cut the cake; Xu Juan was to make yet another wish.


    Making a birthday wish was such a demanding task.


    Six years ago, the twenty-year-old him had plenty of wishes. He wanted to relax. He wanted freedom, to leave home and see the world. He wanted beauties and good wine, he wanted the entire universe.


    Six years later, he had indeed relaxed. He had freedom, had left home, loved countless beauties, and gone once around the world. But if he looked back today, had his wishes from that year really been fulfilled? It didn¡¯t seem so.


    ¡°What on earth am I not content with?¡±


    Xu Juan stood in front of the lavish ten-layered cake. Beneath the stage, numerous pairs of eyes were staring at him: Curiosity, envy, admiration. This was the way others looked at him.


    Xu Juan let out a quiet exhale: ¡°I¡­¡­¡±


    He had just parted his lips when the noise from a sudden commotion at the entrance of the event hall drifted over. Someone called out his name: ¡°Xu Juan!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan froze and looked over in astonishment.


    Only to see one person rushing through the door with two security guards trying and failing to hold him back.


    ¨C¨CIt was Pei Yu.


    It was possible Pei Yu had run the entire way here. He was breathing a little heavily, standing still in front of the crowd. Xu Juan couldn¡¯t tell where he had come from; He appeared travel-worn, his clothes dusty. Compared with the entire room of immaculately-dressed distinguished guests, he cut quite a sorry figure.


    Everyone was looking at him.


    Some were surprised and curious, others were whispering to each other. But he didn¡¯t notice them at all; He only had Xu Juan in his eyes.


    ¡°Is this your birthday party, or is it your engagement party?¡± Pei Yu¡¯s complexion was poor, but there seemed to be fire in his eyes. Scorching, igniting into flames. They carried the determination of someone who could break his way out of any amount of judgment or finger-pointing from others.


    It scalded Xu Juan.


    Pei Yu stared at him resolutely: ¡°Are you compromising? You don¡¯t love me anymore? Will you break up with me?¡±


    He took a few steps forward.


    That imposing aura made Xu Juan¡¯s hand tremble. He accidentally brushed against the cake, getting cream on himself.


    The people beneath the stage were in shock; Most probably, it was because these distinguished guests valued their dignity and image, so none of them would do such an undignified thing during a formal occasion like this. Although, this person did seem to be quite close with their Director Xu.


    No one held him back.


    Pei Yu walked until he was in front of Xu Juan.


    ¡°I¡¯m not angry.¡± Pei Yu said, ¡°If you love me, shouldn¡¯t we be together? No matter what happened yesterday, I¡¯m not mad at you anymore. I¡¯m giving you a chance. Don¡¯t get engaged to someone else. Come with me.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Come with me, right now. Are you willing, Xu Juan?¡±

 CH 29

    Before, Xu Juan couldn¡¯t understand: How did it feel like to have his head muddled by love?


    Now, he understood.


    When he grabbed onto Pei Yu¡¯s hand and, under the stares of everyone present, ran out of the hotel through the front entrance, he thought he had gone mad.


    ¡­¡­Well, maybe the term gone mad was too distasteful. From a more whimsical perspective, he would be more like a young sixteen-year-old girl in high school; He feared nothing across the heavens and the earth, thought nothing of the consequences, and rushed out at the slightest impulse.


    This was all Pei Yu¡¯s fault.


    Whenever he thought he was already clear of Pei Yu¡¯s charms, Pei Yu would show him through his actions: He could be even more alluring.


    Xu Juan was charmed into a daze.


    To the point where, at that moment, he had forgotten everything. His legs wouldn¡¯t listen to his own orders, and as if he were in a trance, he allowed Pei Yu to lead him away by the hand¡ª¡ª


    ¡°Where are we going?¡± Xu Juan had finally calmed down somewhat. There was cream on the sleeve of his blazer, which was a little comical to look at.


    Pei Yu looked even more dazed than him; Disregarding the people coming and going all over the city center, Pei Yu held him and, in broad daylight, gave him a fierce kiss. But Pei Yu didn¡¯t say anything, he had probably forgotten how to speak Mandarin.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help laughing: ¡°Pei laoshi, we¡¯re really dumb.¡±


    ¡°Are we?¡± Pei Yu laughed too, wanting to kiss him again after.


    They stood there on the side of the road, kissing deeply. Xu Juan felt like he was having a mental breakdown, reaffirming that: Yes, he was dizzy. It¡¯s true. His mind was a blank, white slate.


    ¡°Ah, what do we do? You¡¯ve infected me.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°Now I can¡¯t even differentiate north, south, east, and west. Where are you taking me?¡±


    ¡°Home.¡±


    Pei Yu reached out and flagged a taxi. It was only after they had gotten on and the driver had gone past two streets that Xu Juan processed the entire situation: ¡°My car is still at the hotel, why are we taking a taxi?¡±


    Pei Yu ignored him, he couldn¡¯t bring himself to care about anything. It was as if he had been poisoned. Without warning, he tugged Xu Juan into his arms, and while holding him, kissed him again.


    The driver saw this scene through the rearview mirror and revealed a face full of shock, but didn¡¯t make a sound.


    Xu Juan was a little embarrassed ¡ª¡ª He hadn¡¯t expected that he would be the embarrassed one. However, this didn¡¯t mean that Pei Yu had suddenly become open-minded, he was merely driven by adrenaline.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to come.¡± Xu Juan displayed some rare uncertainty. He pursed his lips, saying softly, ¡°Earlier, I was thinking of a birthday wish. Before I thought of one, you suddenly rushed in. I thought¡­¡­ I thought we had already broken up, that you were angry and didn¡¯t want to make up with me anymore.¡±


    He gripped onto Pei Yu¡¯s hand: ¡°I didn¡¯t think I would follow you out, either. It was too unexpected. Maybe I don¡¯t know myself very well.¡±


    ¡°Was it very unexpected?¡± Pei Yu blinked, regarding him with some confusion, ¡°Isn¡¯t it because you love me?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Was it? Was this considered love?


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t dare to confirm it, but if this dizzying feeling right now was love, he thought, he didn¡¯t dislike it.


    ¡°Perhaps, it is.¡± Xu Juan didn¡¯t indulge Pei Yu with complete certainty in his tone, as he had done in the past. He looked down, and in a rare moment of vulnerability, showed his own confusion.


    But Pei Yu wasn¡¯t discontent. He held Xu Juan¡¯s hand tightly, suppressing Xu Juan¡¯s faint trembling.


    ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± Although Pei Yu didn¡¯t know what he was thinking, he could acutely sense the other¡¯s turbulent emotions.


    Xu Juan shook his head and suddenly said: ¡°I¡¯ve thought of what I want my birthday wish to be.¡±


    Pei Yu was curious: ¡°What is it?¡±


    Xu Juan gave a smile: ¡°I hope that no matter what happens in the future, Pei Yu can always be happy. This is my birthday wish today.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Pei Yu hugged him, ¡°Then I can only implore Xu Juan to always be happy too, or else I can¡¯t bring myself to be happy.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re such an idiot.¡±


    Xu Juan¡¯s feelings were very complex. He thought, he really shouldn¡¯t set his life in stone too early. There were still so many days ahead, who would be able to see just how their life would go, all the way to the end? He had no idea what would happen tomorrow. Just like how he had no idea, that the year he turned twenty six, he would meet someone called Pei Yu who could drive him into madness.


    The two of them had acted out an entire idol drama in the backseat, throwing ¡°I love you¡±s around the whole ride. When they got out of the car, the driver¡¯s expression was very complicated. It was then, in hindsight, that Pei Yu finally began to feel embarrassed.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Pei Yu took the initiative to pay the taxi fare, waving goodbye to the driver.


    This driver da-ge was probably someone who had seen the world. He tossed out an ¡°I wish the both of you happiness¡±, and with a cloud of the car¡¯s exhaust fumes, drove away with the speed of an airplane.


    Xu Juan let out a ¡°pfft¡±, but once he had laughed enough, he abruptly felt empty in his heart.


    But this wasn¡¯t a negative sort of emptiness. In fact, it felt as if all the depression, frustration, and confusion weighing on his chest had been flushed clean. Xu Juan no longer harboured any emotions. He looked at Pei Yu, and Pei Yu looked right back at him.


    ¡°I think I was too impulsive.¡± Before Pei Yu could part his lips, Xu Juan spoke up first, ¡°But the feeling of being impulsive is pretty good. There¡¯s that same thrill you get when you smash a jar to pieces.¡±


    Now Pei Yu was upset: ¡°Am I a smashed jar?¡±


    ¡°No, the smashed jar is obviously me.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°My mom must be fuming and can¡¯t wait to skin me alive.¡±


    Pei Yu froze: ¡°Is it that serious? Then, will you regret it?¡±


    ¡°What will I regret? I don¡¯t even regret anything from six years ago. Let¡¯s just take it one step at a time.¡± Xu Juan said this very nonchalantly, ¡°I¡¯m very certain, if I went back in time, I would still make the same decision. So, what¡¯s the use in regretting?¡±


    With today''s wine, his wine cup flows.


    Ktlr wbgclcu, tf kjr ralii lc j rajaf bo yflcu tjio-vfjv, yea cbk tf kjr revvfcis ja fjrf jujlc. Lbk mbeiv tf oilmxfg ogbw bcf wbbv ab jcbatfg, pera ilxf atf kfjatfg?


    Xu Juan decided to stop thinking too much.


    He was of the common folk. Since he was a mere mortal, he would experience happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy. These were out of his control. It was impossible for him to reject the mortal world, nor could he ever hope to reject himself.


    On the other hand, Pei Yu took things better than him.


    They had returned to Xu Juan¡¯s house. Upon entering, Pei Yu¡¯s first words to him were: ¡°You didn¡¯t have time to eat earlier, did you? Are you hungry?¡±


    Xu Juan said he was.


    Pei Yu said: ¡°I¡¯m hungry too, I haven¡¯t eaten in a long time.¡±


    ¡°A long time?¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it all because of you?¡±


    Pei Yu changed his shoes and took off his coat, walking into the bathroom to wash his face. There were still traces of water on his face when he came out to say: ¡°Yesterday, I waited for you at home all afternoon, but you didn¡¯t come back even after the sky turned dark. I know you were in a bad mood because of the things I said, so you had probably gone off somewhere to quieten down.¡±


    Embarrassment coloured Xu Juan¡¯s face: ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I overreacted yesterday.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s all right.¡± Pei Yu said, very considerately, ¡°I¡¯ve seen many students who are like you. When their shortcomings are exposed, they get defensive and prickly. It¡¯s not a big deal, merely a matter of not having a grasp on one¡¯s emotions.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    He had a suspicion that Pei Yu was deliberately mocking him.


    ¡°Actually, I do have quite a good grasp on my emotions.¡± Xu Juan gave an awkward laugh, defending himself, ¡°It¡¯s just that I wasn¡¯t in a good mood yesterday. If you said it again now, I guarantee I won¡¯t react at all.¡±


    He changed the subject: ¡°Let¡¯s not talk about this. Then, what happened after? When did you leave? When I came back, you were no longer here. I thought you¡¯d moved out.¡±


    Pei Yu glanced at him, incredulous: ¡°All my things are still where I left them. If I¡¯ve moved out or not, don¡¯t you know how to check it out yourself?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°All right, then. Not only do I not have a grasp on my emotions, but I also have bad eyesight.¡± Xu Juan rubbed at his nose. What he said was the truth, his eyesight was indeed not good; Could he not have seen Pei Yu¡¯s toothbrush when he was washing up? Could he not have seen Pei Yu¡¯s clothes still hung up in the wardrobe while he changed?


    What exactly was he thinking about, then? It was as if he had sunk into a certain mood so murky that he was absent-minded throughout, not knowing where he was and in turn, he could not pay attention to everything happening around him.


    But at that time, he had thought he was very clear-headed.


    So that turned out to be a lie.


    Xu Juan continued: ¡°So, you really aren¡¯t even a little bit angry?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu was quiet for a bit, ¡°Do you want to hear the truth?¡±


    Xu Juan nodded.


    Pei Yu said: ¡°I can¡¯t possibly not be angry, but I dislike letting my emotions get the better of me. At least, when I like you very much, I don¡¯t want to deny my own feelings. So, rather than being mad at you, I would prefer to find solutions to this problem.¡±


    Pei Yu hung the face towel back into the bathroom, then lowered his head to look at his clothes: ¡°I want to take a shower first.¡±


    ¡°Shower later, let¡¯s talk first.¡± Xu Juan tugged at him, then immediately pushed him against the wall, ¡°What time did you leave yesterday? Where did you go?¡±


    ¡°I left after it got dark outside.¡± Pei Yu didn¡¯t try to hide it, ¡°While I waited for you, I spent the whole afternoon feeling very angry. The more I thought about it, the harder it became to bear. But once the anger subsided, I let it go. Afterwards, you still hadn¡¯t come home, so only worry remained in my heart.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°I thought you had gone to the mountain again. Didn¡¯t you say so yourself? Whenever you were in a bad mood, you would go to your secret base and look at the stars. So, I went to look for you, but unexpectedly, you weren¡¯t there.¡±


    Pei Yu let out a small laugh.


    He was complaining to Xu Juan, and his laughter carried bitterness, a pitiful look in his gaze: ¡°If I had known earlier, I would have called you, but I had a feeling you wouldn¡¯t pick up. And I was so sure you¡¯d be on the mountain peak, too. I¡¯m an idiot.¡±


    ¡°No, it was my fault.¡± Xu Juan hugged Pei Yu, taking in a deep breath.


    Pei Yu gave him a little push, his voice soft: ¡°There¡¯s dust all over me, I haven¡¯t showered since yesterday, and I haven¡¯t changed out of my clothes, either.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Xu Juan didn¡¯t let go. Why would he hold these things against Pei Yu?


    Although Pei Yu¡¯s tone made light of the matter and he didn¡¯t say everything, it didn¡¯t mean that Xu Juan didn¡¯t understand.


    Pei Yu didn¡¯t have his own car. How did he go up the mountain, did he take a taxi?


    Taking a taxi out of the city wasn¡¯t difficult, but it was a very long walk from the base of the mountain to the top. Would the driver be willing to wait for him to return? And, after descending the mountain, how did he return to the city? He must have suffered quite a bit throughout the whole ordeal. His phone had probably run out of battery afterwards, so even if he had wanted to call, he couldn¡¯t.


    It would have been in the middle of the night. Was he not afraid?


    Xu Juan simply didn¡¯t dare to think any further.


    But from Pei Yu¡¯s words, all that happened was condensed into a sentence, as if it wasn¡¯t worth a mention.


    Xu Juan felt as if his heart had been seized. What was even more difficult to imagine was, upon returning to the city, what sort of feelings had Pei Yu been harbouring when he had gone to the hotel to look for him? Was he not afraid that he would be rejected?


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help but be glad. Thank god that he was someone unreliable and unbridled who followed his impulses. If he were a little more rational, then Pei Yu wouldn¡¯t have reaped anything from his efforts today. He would only have been like a clown, becoming a laughingstock in the eyes of others.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Xu Juan was a little choked up, ¡°Why did you ever run into me? Why are you so unlucky? Did you perhaps owe me money in your previous life, Pei Yu?¡±


    ¡°What nonsense are you spouting again?¡±


    ¡°I said, you¡¯re so good.¡±


    Xu Juan sprawled against Pei Yu, hiding his face: ¡°I don¡¯t even know how best to praise you.¡±


    He had begun to throw his honeyed words out like freebies yet again. Pei Yu was a little embarrassed, feigning indifference as he pushed his head away: ¡°Then don¡¯t praise me anymore. I¡¯m about to starve to death, Director Xu.¡±


    Xu Juan immediately said: ¡°I¡¯ll order some takeout?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu said, almost in admiration, ¡°It¡¯s your birthday and we¡¯re going to have takeout? I think you¡¯d better rest. I¡¯ll shower first, then cook you some noodles.¡±


    The bathroom door was shut.


    Xu Juan sat down in the living room. For the first time, he was ashamed of his lack of life skills.


    But since these were just trifling matters, he only spent a few seconds calmly thinking over them before his thoughts began to wander again.


    Indeed, there was a thrill to smashing jars, but one had to pay the price for their impulses. The fact that his mother hadn¡¯t called for security to hold him down at the venue, was already her allowing him to retain some dignity.


    On the other hand, he hadn¡¯t left Yue Xuelin with a single shred of dignity. He destroyed the engagement without permission, and under the eyes of many, ran off with another man, completely ruining the Xu family¡¯s reputation. His mother probably already harboured intentions of beating him to death.


    However, it had been nearly an hour since he and Pei Yu left the hotel. He Xiangzi hadn¡¯t sent anyone after him or given him a call. The more silent she was, the more apprehensive it made him.


    ¡ª¡ªHow did his mother intend to straighten things out with him?


    Xu Juan ruminated over this for a long time. Perhaps, the circumstances of the day seemed too much like a dream. Everything that he and Pei Yu had done was comparable to an idol drama, so he was too swept up in those character settings. His first thought was actually ¡°Here¡¯s five million, leave my son¡±. Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help but bow his head and laugh out loud.


    ¡°What¡¯re you laughing about?¡± Pei Yu walked out of the bathroom, dressed in a bathrobe.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t suppress the raised corners of his lips. He asked, rather wickedly: ¡°Pei Yu, if my mom gave you five million and told you to break up with me, would you agree?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu¡¯s glare was full of anger, ¡°Five million is too little, there should be another zero at least.¡±


    ¡°Wow, okay. So I¡¯m only worth fifty million.¡±


    ¡°Wrong. You can¡¯t even cook noodles, no one would buy you even if you were to cost a single cent.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Pei Yu, you¡¯re so mean to me today.¡± Xu Juan followed Pei Yu into the kitchen, deliberately saying, ¡°You¡¯ve never spoken to me like this before, are you still angry?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re really not?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    Pei Yu gave a faint smile, his tone light: ¡°I¡¯m very happy right now. To be honest, I did wonder, if you weren¡¯t willing to go with me and insisted on getting engaged to someone else, what should I do then? I didn¡¯t come to any conclusion. Anyway, whether you agreed or not, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to stop myself from going to you. Now, you¡¯re home with me, so what do I have to be mad about?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Ah, Xu Juan got it. No wonder he was being so mean. It turned out he wasn¡¯t angry, he was just overwhelmed.


    ¡°Xiao Pei laoshi, one cannot be too arrogant.¡± Xu Juan gave Pei Yu a pretentious pat on the shoulder.


    Pei Yu was currently chopping up green onions. He turned around and glanced at him coldly: ¡°You don¡¯t want to eat noodles anymore?¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Ok, ok.


    Xu Juan was shut down.


    He no longer stayed in the kitchen to make things difficult for Pei Yu. He returned to the bedroom and took off his formal wear, changing into more comfortable and simple clothes.


    When the aroma of food wafted out from the kitchen, Xu Juan was already sitting at the dining table, all ready.


    Pei Yu brought out two bowls of steaming hot noodle soup, one for each of them, with a pair of chopsticks, then sat down opposite him. When Xu Juan was about to pick up his chopsticks, Pei Yu suddenly stopped him: ¡°Wait, let¡¯s do this properly.¡±


    Pei Yu cleared his throat and assumed a very solemn air, giving a pre-dinner speech: ¡°Regrettably, the Director Xu who could have been enjoying a luxurious banquet has been abducted home by me. Now, before him is but a mere, simple bowl of noodle soup. However, this is no ordinary bowl of noodles. First, it contains no more and no less than, a full hundred strands. Second, there is a single poached egg beneath the noodles.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Are there really a hundred strands?¡± Xu Juan picked up the chopsticks, stirring through them, ¡°You specifically counted?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. Do you want to count it one more time?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan was curious and he did want to count them, but to count them strand by strand was too dumb a thing to do. This sort of thing could only be done by a fool like Pei Yu.


    Xu Juan was very touched: ¡°Thank you, Pei laoshi has worked hard. Let¡¯s start eating.¡±


    Once again, Pei Yu stopped him: ¡°Not going to make a wish?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already made one.¡± Xu Juan said, ¡°It¡¯s what I said in the taxi, don¡¯t you remember?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± Pei Yu sank into momentary silence, ¡°I don¡¯t think what you said was very auspicious, it feels like it¡¯s hinting at something. Why don¡¯t you make another one?¡±


    ¡°All right, as you wish.¡± Xu Juan closed his eyes and dramatically blew out some air over the poached egg, ¡°My birthday wish is, I hope that on this day next year, Pei laoshi will still personally cook noodles for me.¡±


    ¡°Is that difficult?¡± Pei Yu was clearly unsatisfied with his lack of imagination, but he still said, sincerely, ¡°I promise, your wish will come true.¡±


    Xu Juan smiled.


    He was very happy. Not because of this promise, or because of anything else. He simply just felt relaxed; Everything that was choking him up in his heart, the weight on his shoulders, the confusion in his mind ¨C¨C all of these were channelled as hunger.


    In the end, his desires physically manifested into a bowl of noodles.


    ¡°Is it good?¡± Pei Yu hadn¡¯t taken more than a few bites, instead, he constantly watched him.


    Xu Juan nodded.


    Pei Yu said: ¡°I¡¯m unrivalled when it comes to cooking noodles, because my mother was great at it. In her youth, she stole my father¡¯s heart through her exceptional culinary skills. After that, my father passed away at a young age and there was no one else who would praise her for making delicious noodles. She could only cook them for me. It¡¯s been over twenty years, so I¡¯ve actually long since gotten tired of eating them.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Xu Juan paused in the middle of moving his chopsticks, and heard Pei Yu continue: ¡°But now, I suddenly feel that I¡¯m not actually that tired of them.¡±


    Xu Juan didn¡¯t know what to say, didn¡¯t know how to respond to such a sentence. He only spoke after a long while: ¡°Why don¡¯t you teach me how to cook noodles next time?¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Pei Yu replied, then, out of the blue, he said, ¡°But actually, you don¡¯t really need to be taught how to cook noodles. Just toss the noodles into boiling water, they¡¯ll be ready in a few minutes.¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Pei Yu began to laugh: ¡°I was kidding. Why do you look so baffled? Xu Juan, were you thinking: Would they really be cooked? How many minutes would it take?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­What are you doing?¡± Xu Juan was exasperated, ¡°Aren¡¯t I useless at cooking? Could you please give this person who can¡¯t cook some basic respect? ¡ª¡ª Pei laoshi, you¡¯re really being too much today, you keep attacking me.¡±


    Pei Yu immediately collected himself: ¡°Is that so? My apologies, I¡¯m too happy today, so I¡¯ve probably gone overboard with the babbling. You don¡¯t like it?¡±


    Whenever he spoke with his head lowered, a hint of reservation and bashfulness would appear on his face. But Xu Juan understood, the closer two people became, the less reserved they would be with each other. The shyness would also slowly dissipate with more physical contact.


    Pei Yu was very relaxed today.


    Why so? Was it because he had, for the first time, made a statement through his actions and let Pei Yu truly see how important he was to him?


    As expected, love was not an easy thing to feign. False, honeyed words would never provide someone with a sense of security, only actions could.


    But could his actions today be considered real?


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t understand. He felt that he was more confused than Pei Yu right now. At the very least, Pei Yu had a keen intuition to rely on, like an inherent, animalistic instinct. But he didn¡¯t even have this sort of instinct. He was too skilled at pretending, so much so that he had instead blindfolded himself. He couldn¡¯t see anything.


    However, Xu Juan didn¡¯t harp over this issue for very long.


    On such a joyous occasion, there was no need to overthink and bring unhappiness to himself.


    ¡°No, I like it.¡± Xu Juan replied to Pei Yu.


    He stood up from the chair and leaned across the table to kiss Pei Yu. This position was too awkward, but carried a hint of pleasure. They made out for a while and continued eating their noodles. After the meal, while they were doing the dishes, Pei Yu suddenly asked Xu Juan: ¡°Your engagement is completely cancelled, so you won¡¯t have to get engaged anymore in the future, will you?¡±


    Xu Juan nodded: ¡°I won¡¯t go off and get engaged anymore. Miss Yue is also a person who values her reputation. Since I publicly abandoned her today, she won¡¯t be looking for me again.¡±


    Pei Yu said: ¡°And there won¡¯t be anyone else?¡±


    ¡°There won¡¯t.¡± Xu Juan said with certainty, ¡°Since I¡¯ve already run off, I no longer wish to return. This is the principle I live by; No matter what happens in the future, I will not turn back.¡±


    These words were said plainly but resolutely. It wasn¡¯t just about the engagement, Pei Yu could faintly discern from it some other implications.


    ¡°Was it due to my influence?¡± Pei Yu asked.


    Xu Juan grinned at him: ¡°Maybe, but not completely. You are the right person, who appeared at the right time ¡ª¡ª We really are a match made in heaven, Pei laoshi.¡±


    Pei Yu was very satisfied with his answer. He tossed the bowl aside, and with wet fingers still dripping with dish soap, he directly sank them into Xu Juan¡¯s hair.


    He held onto the back of Xu Juan¡¯s head and pressed him down, kissing him against the kitchen counter.


    It was a kiss varying with emotions.


    There was desire, but there was also something completely detached from lust, that was purely a form of communication between lovers. It was gentle and soundless, but also unyielding.


    Xu Juan couldn¡¯t help but shut his eyes, allowing Pei Yu¡¯s relentless rhythm to slow his breaths down. He felt so good that he even got a little drowsy.


    Just as Pei Yu was about to deepen the kiss and take matters from the kitchen to the bed, his phone suddenly rang, disrupting the atmosphere.


    Xu Juan¡¯s consciousness trembled and he sobered up from his trance. Taking his phone out for a look, he saw that it was unexpectedly a call from his older sister.


    ¡°Hey, jie.¡± Xu Juan let out a yawn and leaned forward, laying himself against Pei Yu¡¯s shoulder. He said, lazily, ¡°Is something up?¡±


    ¡°Is something up? You¡¯re asking me if something¡¯s up?!¡± Xu Qingguang was about to lose it, ¡°You turned the banquet completely upside down. Mom and dad are even arguing right now, but you¡¯re actually asking me if something¡¯s up?!¡±


    Xu Juan: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Xu Juan said insincerely, ¡°I didn¡¯t think it would cause all of you to argue.¡±


    Xu Qingguang let out a sarcastic huff: ¡°How about you just shut it! I won¡¯t beat around the bush with you either. I¡¯ll be blunt and give you a head¡¯s up. Mom is angry, she¡¯s getting ready to freeze your bank accounts, and confiscate the house and your cars. From now on, she won¡¯t give you a single cent. She¡¯s leaving you to fend for yourself and go beg for change on the pedestrian bridges. Before she acts, you¡¯d better hurry and transfer some money to your secret stash.¡±


    Without waiting for Xu Juan to reply, Xu Qingguang furiously hung up.


    The words ¡°my dearest jiejie¡± were left stuck in his throat, abruptly backtracking into: ¡°Pei laoshi, I¡¯ve been chased out of my home. In the future, if I can¡¯t afford to indulge you, what should I do? Will you still like me?¡±


    Xu Juan wrapped both arms around Pei Yu¡¯s waist, resting his entire body weight against him.


    This position was oddly satisfying to Pei Yu. He held onto Xu Juan securely and his expression seemed a little happy. But since Xu Juan had suddenly just received unfortunate news, it wasn¡¯t too convenient for him to show it too obviously. Thus, he could only suppress the quirk of his lips and put on a face full of remorse, saying: ¡°It¡¯s all right. In the future, just stay with me. I¡¯ll indulge you.¡±