《My Dear Aster》 CH 1 A few years ago, her daughter who was sitting across from the tea table said: ¡°Mom, you know what?¡± ¡°Why are you calling me so seriously? It¡¯s making me uneasy.¡± ¡°It¡¯s no big deal, I just thought of something out of the blue.¡± Her child who was only 19 years old had a very mature face. She was in her senior year of the academy, and soon after graduation, she was expecting marriage. Her soft, grown-up, and somewhat benevolent face would bring the feeling of being someone¡¯s wife. ¡°If mother ever lives again, don¡¯t give birth to me.¡± ¡°What are you talking about all of a sudden?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to give birth to me. So, I want my mother to live as she pleases.¡± It was a sudden, ridiculous statement. ¡°That sounds ridiculous.¡± ¡°No reason. It¡¯s popular in magic classes these days. A story of living again. My major subject is time.¡± ¡°Just study properly. Young children don¡¯t learn everything from the academy.¡± ¡°I know. I¡¯ve been thinking about it, and there are a lot of things I want to change, but I don¡¯t think it¡¯s going to change my life. No matter what I change, I am mom and dad¡¯s daughter. Either way, I would be Baron Hadley¡¯s esteemed daughter, and Count Cardin¡¯s wife¡­¡­ and not more than a Countess. Even if it¡¯s a small thing, I hope I don¡¯t fall down the stairs, that I won¡¯t repeat the mistakes I made at the debut party, or that changing those things again doesn¡¯t mean my life itself will change that much.¡± Then she smiled. ¡°So, when that opportunity comes, I¡¯m going to give it to my mom.¡± ¡°How could you have such an opportunity?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. But, I am a magician.¡± ¡°Your graduation grade is rank 6, right?¡± She laughed. ¡°Okay, I won¡¯t give birth when I get a chance like that. Why do I have to give birth to you twice and suffer again?¡± Then the daughter smiled, too. ¡°Meet someone better than Dad. A cool man. Someone tall enough for my mom to wear heels, a handsome face, and someone who will understand your painting.¡± ¡°My painting is the same as your magic grade, huh.¡± ¡°I heard you had a first love.¡± ¡°There was.¡± ¡°If you live again, confess. Who knows? Maybe it will work out?¡± ¡°How could that be?¡± ¡°I¡¯m just trying to think about it.¡± The mother and daughter giggled together. CH 2.1 And Lihen Copland woke up. She looked at the ceiling, looked at the duvet covering her, and then looked at the ceiling again. That ceiling wasn¡¯t the appalling ceiling in Baron Hadley¡¯s bedroom that she saw every time she woke up for 23 years. ¡®Home¡­¡­?¡¯ It was her home, the mansion of Viscount Copland. This is the room she used before she got married. Lihen wondered. She was seriously injured in a carriage accident. The coachman and her maid died instantly. It must have been heaven¡¯s help that saved her life. Her consciousness seemed to come and go. She remembered listening to her husband and the doctor talking back and forth. She vaguely remembered seeing her daughter¡¯s crying face and her husband¡¯s worried expression. It was very painful. The pain was so excruciating that she couldn¡¯t even tell where it hurt or where it was painful. She could only vividly feel that her daughter was holding her hand tightly. She also remembers her daughter saying something in her ear. However, it was unclear whether that really happened. Now both her eyes were open and she was feeling well. Did she get better while she was unconscious? Why is she in her parents¡¯ home? This room must have been turned into her niece¡¯s bedroom. Or was the accident a dream? Then it was a terrible dream, Lihen thought. Her memory was hazy. Did she fall asleep here after coming to her parents¡¯ house? She slowly reached out of the duvet. Then the door swung open. ¡°Miss! Get up now.¡± ¡°Nanny?¡± Lihen asked in surprise. The nanny strode over to her and snatched the duvet. ¡°Today is Monday! Are you not going to class?¡± ¡°Nanny, how¡­¡­?¡± The nanny died six years ago. When Lihen looked at her with a dumbfounded face, the nanny reached out in fluster and touched her forehead. ¡°Miss, are you feeling unwell?¡± ¡°No, no. I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m fine¡­¡­. But, nanny should be dead? I, because of an accident¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Did you have a dream? You don¡¯t have a fever¡­¡­¡± She asked worriedly. Lihen then remembered what her daughter had whispered in her ear. Did she live again? Or is her life flashing before her eyes after hearing that? Lihen sat there in a daze, clutching the hem of her nightgown, and rolled over the bed and jumped past her nanny. Then she ran barefoot and checked the mirror first. ¡°Oh my gosh.¡± She looked at her face and took a deep breath. There was a girl¡¯s face that she never thought she would see again. ¡°Miss?¡± This time, she hurriedly headed for her desk. She didn¡¯t care about the nanny seeing, and opened the secret book with the lock and took out the diary from it. Oh my god. Lihen Copland was now 19 years old. It was October. October at the age of nineteen means it¡¯s time to graduate from the academy. By royal decree, all nobles of the Kingdom of Elda were required to enter the Royal Academy at the age of fourteen. The boys received a proper education in politics, economics, theology, swordsmanship, and other considerations for their family and future. There were a few exceptional cases. Even commoners could enter the school if their parents were very wealthy or were gifted with extraordinary talents and intellectual abilities. Sometimes, a noble family selects a talented commoner boy from an early age and educates them with their heirs or supports them separately. Most importantly, however, was the case of being born with magical talent. Among the reasons why girls were admitted to the academy were their rare magical abilities, which are difficult to find in ten thousand. But they couldn¡¯t let a handful of wizard girls attend an academy full of boys. It was even more so because there were girls from noble families among them. That¡¯s why the academy started accepting female students. But while the academy wanted to teach magic to girls with magical talents, they didn¡¯t want them to compete with boys in other areas. Thus the academy taught the girls one or two kinds of art according to their sophistication, manners, and tastes as ladies. During the academy¡¯s entrance ceremony, the dean always tells this to the female students. Even so, it was not so important an education that they couldn¡¯t miss a single day. The young ladies knew it best. After graduating from the academy, marriage awaits. On the contrary, this was important to the girls. Following this custom, Lihen entered the academy at the age of fourteen. And she is about to graduate. When she graduates, she will soon be introduced to Harold Hadley and get engaged. ¡®Again¡­¡­?¡¯ She thought so in a daze, sitting in the carriage and looking out the window. Viscount Copland was neither particularly wealthy nor poor in comparison to other noble families of similar status. There was tradition, but there was no history of having meritorious people or producing archmages. He had one vote in the House of Lords[1], but his influence was only one in hundreds. Lihen¡¯s father, Viscount Copland, was also actively involved in politics. He was honored for his integrity and uprightness, but he was far from powerful because he was not good at walking on a tightrope or as a schemer. So did Lihen. She wasn¡¯t a girl with a pretty face or outstanding grades. She was not overflowing with talent and was not skilled enough to glimpse into a man¡¯s realm or succeed in her own family business. The only thing that was special about her was that she was tall for a woman, and wearing high-heeled shoes would cause her head to rise above that of a shorter man. Growing up, she was loved by her parents and lived with her classmates without thinking about the future. After graduating, she met Harold, the eldest son of Baron Hadley, through matchmaking by her father¡¯s friends. Within two months, she got engaged, and then married after a year. The marriage wasn¡¯t great either. Harold was a man of integrity. He kept his family¡¯s fortunes well, and did not start a reckless business or waste money. He did not gamble, become an alcoholic, smoke opium, nor was he crazy and spent money on courtesans. He was a hard-working man. He found a small but stable source of income, saved money, and loved his daughter. He didn¡¯t even have an illegitimate child. That was the great pride of Baroness Hadley ¨D Lihen¡¯s mother-in-law. From Lihen¡¯s point of view, he wasn¡¯t a bad man, but he wasn¡¯t a perfect husband either. Instead of wasting his money, he tried to save the lace on his daughter¡¯s dress, and instead of drinking, he didn¡¯t know the joys of life. He occasionally sent jewels and baskets of flowers to Lihen, but he considered it futile to buy her clothes, dress her up, and take her out. He was also indifferent to making time to travel or spend quality time with his family. He seldom found pleasure outside the house, so he would not engage in horseback riding or even picnics, let alone men¡¯s hobbies such as fishing and hunting. As her mother-in-law said, he did not have nor raise a lover. From time to time, however, he went to an event with his friends, and it was not considered an affair. He wanted to be filial to his mother, but his method was usually to tell Lihen, ¡°Go somewhere with my mother.¡± His face was ordinary, and so was his body. His stature was rather short. He was the same height as Lihen, so she had to wear her wedding shoes in flats with no heels. As he grew older, his hair was balding and his belly came out, but Lihen didn¡¯t even point it out because she had no expectations for her husband¡¯s appearance. Perhaps Harold was also dissatisfied with her, but the couple were courteous to each other and didn¡¯t talk about it. It¡¯s just that they don¡¯t go out together more often, which was originally less, so by the time their daughter went to the ball, they didn¡¯t go out together at all. There was nothing exciting about life with Harold. During the engagement, she had already given up on the sweetness of newlyweds. It was a boring and tedious life. Conversely, it also meant that Harold had given her a stable life enough not to suffer from ups and downs. The only thing unusual about her life was that her daughter was born with magical talents. However, the talent was also a little vague, ¡®It¡¯s not bad, but there¡¯s no need to pay tuition to learn it to the end¡¯. Still, that child was Lihen¡¯s incomparable joy. It was just a joke, so she didn¡¯t really think about it, but did she know something and say something like that? Or is the conversation stuck in her mind and she is just dreaming of this? If not, was Baroness Hadley¡¯s life a dream? Lihen thought it wouldn¡¯t be the last one. She could remember more vividly the day before the carriage accident than in October when she was nineteen. She could recall everything that had happened during the birth and raising of her daughter. If she was a real nineteen-year-old girl who had never had children, she couldn¡¯t have dreamed in such detail. However, the time that unfolds before her is not a dream, but a reality. She remembered the whispers of her daughter she had heard in the face of death. The moment she remembered it, she rushed out like a wanderer. The nanny followed and screamed. ¡°Miss! Miss Lihen! You¡¯re not wearing an outer garment!¡± ¡°Mother! Father!¡± There was something she really wanted to do when she lived again. She had told her daughter about it before. Before her mother died, she couldn¡¯t tell her that she loved her. Her mother became deaf and irritable once she turned seventy. She became annoyed when she was talking with her because she couldn¡¯t hear. However, her mother didn¡¯t like being alone in silence, so she made her talk to her and she shouted at her from the side, but she still couldn¡¯t understand. Every time she went to meet her mother, she screamed because she was frustrated, and by the time she left, she was exhausted, so instead of saying ¡°I love you¡±, there were many cases where she just beckoned ¡°I¡¯m leaving.¡± It was the same the last time they met before she died. ¡°Mother!¡± But the Viscountess was not in the room. Lihen asked the Viscountess¡¯ maid, who was organizing her clothes. ¡°Where is Mother?¡± ¡°She went out early in the morning to look at the flowers. The flowers for the garden party the day after tomorrow were wrong, so she decided to go to the flower garden herself. But Miss.¡± ¡°Okay!¡± Lihen retorted and ran out again. And this time she rushed to the Viscount¡¯s study. ¡°L, lady! You can¡¯t go inside in your nightgown!¡± A passing maid shouted, but Lihen couldn¡¯t hear it properly. She doesn¡¯t know how long it has been since she ran to the point of running out of breath. It has been a few decades. She burst open the study door. Viscount Copland stood up in surprise. ¡°Lihen?¡± ¡°Father¡­¡­.¡± Lihen was in tears. The last image left in her memory of Viscount Copland was when he had dementia. He was a man who looked like he was going to die sitting upright forever. But seeing him rapidly age and turning into a child was very painful. The Viscount eventually fell down the stairs and died. He died unexpectedly at an unexpected moment, and his head was broken and the undertakers covered his head with a black cloth so as not to see him like that. ¡°Why are you dressed like that?¡± ¡°Father!¡± She jumped into his arms. Viscount Copland was startled, so he accepted and hugged her, hurriedly looking around to see if there was anything to cover her. Lihen sobbed. She couldn¡¯t remember when was the last time she had been hugged by her father. Probably during her childhood before she entered the academy. ¡°Lihen, what¡¯s wrong? What¡¯s the matter?¡± Viscount Copland asked cautiously, feeling awkward. He didn¡¯t know what was wrong with his grown-up daughter, but it seemed like something big had happened, so he turned his eyes and told the guest. ¡°Lord Schudermel, I¡¯m sorry, but will you wait here for a while? I¡¯ll be back soon.¡± ¡°Yes. I don¡¯t mind.¡± Lihen stiffened in surprise. She was so caught up in the thought of her mother and father that she had just run over, not knowing that there was a guest. Of all people, it was Lord Schudermel. She had no idea that Schudermel and her father were acquaintances. It didn¡¯t matter anyway. She was barefoot and bare-faced, dressed only in her nightgown. It wasn¡¯t a proper chemise gown[2], it was a real chemise[3]. At this moment, she realized that even the ribbon on her chest had been untied. Oh no. She couldn¡¯t lift her head off the chest of Viscount Copland. If she looked up and made eye contact with Schudermel, she felt like she wanted to die. Instead of making up for her mistake by living again, she had a huge accident that she didn¡¯t even commit in her previous life. Schudermel Laft was her first love. TL Notes: [1] The House of Lords is the parliament that makes up the British Parliament. [2] The chemise gown here refers to a loose, unfitted ¡°round gown¡±. [3] The other chemise is a loose, shirt-like garment worn by women in the European Middle Ages under their gowns or a smock (women¡¯s underwear). CH 2.2 Viscount Copland was confused, carefully holding Lihen. If he rings the bell, the butler would come, but until then, he couldn¡¯t leave Lihen in this state. He scanned the study but found nothing to cover her. In the end, in spite of being rude, he took off his outer garment and wrapped his daughter¡¯s body. If one of them had to wear underwear anyway, it was better for him to show his underwear than his daughter. Lihen pulled over her father¡¯s outer garment and lowered her head from the inside, leaving the study with brisk steps, as he led her out. She wondered what Schudermel was doing, but she didn¡¯t think she could stand the shame. Still, she glanced at him involuntarily, and finally their eyes met. He still had a great look, just as she remembered. She shrank like a turtle. Just outside the study, the nanny was waiting with a large gown. She returned the Viscount¡¯s robe and put on the gown that her nanny had given her. The Viscount was strict, but did not rebuke her. For that reason, the tears that welled up in the corner of Lihen¡¯s eyes still remained. ¡°Is something wrong? Is it a big deal?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a big deal. You got a good night¡¯s sleep but when you woke up, you suddenly did that.¡± The nanny grumbled. Lihen shook her head. ¡°I just suddenly missed my father. I had such a shocking dream¡­¡­¡± She bit her lower lip and hugged the Viscount¡¯s arm tightly. It wasn¡¯t a dream. It is a natural truth that time passes and people age. Although it was in her past, it was a future and a reality that would come someday. She remembered things she hadn¡¯t done well. She loved her father, but there were times when she resented or hated him. There was even a time when it all poured down like a waterfall and she lay alone on a long night, thinking of the resentment and hatred she felt for him. ¡°You¡¯re acting like a child all of a sudden.¡± The viscount affectionately stroked his daughter¡¯s head. Lihen shed tears again. ¡°I don¡¯t know where it hurts. Mrs. Rod, ask Mr. Norman to come and look at Lihen.¡± Viscount Copland said so and reassured Lihen. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, baby. Your father is talking about something important, so I have to go back in. I¡¯ll go to your room around lunchtime later.¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡­ Well¡­¡­¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Please tell Lord Schudermel that I am sorry for my shameful appearance.¡± ¡°How do you know Lord Schudermel?¡± Lihen¡¯s cheeks flushed. The viscount realized something. Schudermel, 23, graduated from the academy last year. And his daughter had been attending the academy for six years. For the female students attending the academy, there is no way that Schudermel, with his tall stature, bright silver hair, and seductive beauty, was not known. It was the same even if he was an illegitimate child born without a father by the daughter of Marquis Laft. He was even a top student at the academy. Even a girl who wasn¡¯t interested in dating (and he thought his daughter was that kind of girl) would of course have known Schudermel¡¯s name and face. ¡°I don¡¯t know him personally.¡± Lihen replied with difficulty. The viscount replied, ¡°I see.¡± She kissed her father on the cheek and headed back to her room. ¡°Miss.¡± The nanny said as she followed. ¡°You have to go to the academy.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going today.¡± ¡°Miss!¡± ¡°How about a day off? When Mom comes back, I will go see her.¡± In the past, she thought that missing a day at the academy was something she shouldn¡¯t do unless she had a severe fever or was sick. She thought she had to do it because it was something she was supposed to do. Not just in the academy, but in everything. She thought that disobeying her parents or straying even a little off track was the work of bad girls. But when she thinks about it now, learning at the academy wasn¡¯t that important anyway. The content of education is also trivial, but the most important thing from the beginning was to establish relationships. Just because you worked for six years without flexibility doesn¡¯t mean your life will bloom after that. She had told her daughter the same. What she wants to do, what she wants to learn, is more important, not the Academy¡¯s attendance record. She had several fights with Harold because of it. Harold was more strict than her when she was young, because he believed that she had to go unless she was sick and couldn¡¯t get up. He was so adherent to the rules that he would never do less. Her daughter was a much more free spirit than her. She sometimes said, ¡°I¡¯m not going because I have a lot to do today,¡± but maybe there were several times when she sneaked out. Anyway, today, Lihen didn¡¯t have the energy or the will to go to the academy. She plopped back into bed. She buried her face in the pillow. Tears dripped down her face for no reason. Upon returning from the flower market, the viscountess was surprised to see Lihen crying as she hugged her without going to the academy. However, unlike her father, Lihen was able to calm down quickly this time. It was because she was able to control her mind until the Viscountess returned, and little by little she became accustomed to accepting reality more. And now they were talking together in the Viscountess¡¯ living room. ¡°Are you really saying there are no flowers for the party?¡± ¡°Yes. The weather got cold too quickly this fall. Even the available flower gardens do not have enough supplies. Besides, it seems that Countess Odan suddenly threw a party and swept away all the chrysanthemums and Asclepias curassavica. It seems that even at the top, where my mother used to deal often, was taken aback, but to be honest, I am very disappointed with this incident. I¡¯m worried about the day after tomorrow.¡± ¡°Then why not use a small can instead of a large vase? Glass bottles are good, too. It would be cute if you filled up a small can and put it on the table. If it¡¯s a small flower, there will be one in the greenhouse.¡± Lihen had the maid bring a small jar of jam or fruit from the kitchen, and unwrapped and trimmed the small bouquet that the viscountess had received from the flower garden today. She then asked the maid to pick some eucalyptus branches from the garden. ¡°Four ranunculus, two roses, a daffodil, a eucalyptus branch and a fig tree.¡± ¡°Oh my.¡± The jar was so small that it filled up quickly without much insertion. When branches with leaves were decorated together instead of flowers, it looked like a palm-sized garden. The Viscountess was astonished. ¡°It¡¯s prettier than I thought. It¡¯s cute as you say.¡± ¡°Right?¡± Nowadays, rather than filling the vase with colorful flowers of every size, it is fashionable to decorate it with simple flowers and leaf branches instead. This is a trend that will take place in the next 10 years, but it is still useful for times of need, such as now. ¡°If you put this on the table, it would be nice to have a simple tea set. How about Ancy Jasper¡¯s?¡± ¡°Ancy Jasper? I¡¯ve never heard of it. Wouldn¡¯t it be better to have a tea set in the Olta workshop if it¡¯s simple?¡± ¡°Olta tea sets are expensive. Besides, it¡¯s going to be hard to come by. If it¡¯s Ancy Jasper¡¯s, I have one, so take a look.¡± During this time, Ancy Jasper was a fledgling workshop that had not yet gained fame. It began to be promoted mainly to young ladies who had small afternoon tea gatherings with friends. Later, it became a big workshop due to the rapid popularity of naturalistic decorations. The fashion was just right for Lihen, so she collected Ancy Jasper¡¯s tea sets from an early age. And she was confident in combining these decorations and props to match. The maid brought a lovely tea set and placed it on the table. The flower jar paired with the tea set matched so well together, it reminded her of a tea party for young ladies. ¡°Isn¡¯t it okay? This new workshop is always in stock, so it won¡¯t be difficult to secure supplies.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know you had this kind of talent. You¡¯re studying hard.¡± Lihen was right. The Viscountess called in her maid and ordered her to buy the tea set according to her needs, and then looked at Lihen affectionately. Lihen smiled. The Viscountess thinks she is just her nineteen-year-old daughter, but she is actually a lady who has been the mistress of a family for more than twenty years. Preparing for a tea party was not difficult. ¡°Then the flower problem is solved, and the tea set problem is solved. Shall we solve our daughter¡¯s problem?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have a problem.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t go to the academy today.¡± ¡°I just want to talk to my mom.¡± ¡°How long has it been since you kept your mouth shut saying that you don¡¯t like your mother¡¯s nagging?¡± Lihen laughed awkwardly. And she lowered her head. ¡°I just wanted to talk to my mom. I don¡¯t think we¡¯ve talked properly for too long.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± The Viscountess will never be able to imagine how long it has been for Lihen to have a conversation like this. Lihen stood up and sat next to the Viscountess, hugging her. When she lived again, there was definitely one thing she wanted to do. She wanted to be good to her parents with no regrets. She wanted to tell her that she loved her, hug her tightly before she was exhausted from life and let negative emotions overwhelm her. She wanted to reassure each other¡¯s heart and mind, even if illness, pain, and the passage of time clouded her memory. CH 3.1 How will you live if you live again? ¡¯What difference would that make?¡¯ Applying yellow paint to the water, Lihen thought. There were many minor things that could be changed. For example, the color of the dress she wore to the graduation party or the design of the moon ornament on her head. Or, thinking about it later and not saying what she regretted at that time. She¡¯s already changed a few small but significant things. By this time, when she fought again with Polenna, whom she had cut off because of a quarrel, she did not get angry. She was able to reconcile by saying, ¡°I consider you a friend¡± in a gentle tone, rather than shouting angrily, ¡°Did you think about me as a friend?¡± She now has one more friend in her future. The second was also a dress for the graduation party. Instead of creating a gorgeous pearlescent silk dress imitating the beautiful Count Wayne¡¯s daughter, with blonde hair that looks red in the sun, she decided to opt for purple satin with less embellishment. It wasn¡¯t until she was over thirty-five that she admitted that a square neckline and brightly colored silk didn¡¯t suit her. Looking back at her childhood, it didn¡¯t suit her either. Penny, her maid, and Mariella, a friend of hers, grumbled about why she would wear clothes that looked so dull and old fashioned, but both had probably admitted that the finished clothes suited Lihen. The third thing was to tell her parents and her younger brother that she loved them every morning. Her younger brother, Macaulay, was looking at her with a strange look. But those three things weren¡¯t going to change her life. Living again did not make her a new outstanding person. Her normal face remained the same, and so did her family. Her intelligence and talent remained the same. She has become proficient in the art of speaking and governing the house, but she has only gained experience of governing a small baron, so she can¡¯t do anything else well. Sooner or later, her father will find a suitable marriage for her, and when she gets married she will become an ordinary mistress of a baron. But she added a touch of joy to her life and thought she could do even better in the future. She would get along well with Harold. Even though Harold wasn¡¯t an interesting person, and he wasn¡¯t the ideal husband for her, there were still many things she had come to understand during her more than 20 years of living with him. That¡¯s about it. Although they didn¡¯t enjoy going out together, she often felt compassion for her husband. It was also a form of affection. In fact, Baroness Hadley¡¯s words were not necessarily wrong. There were far more men in the world who were worse than Harold. She can change her marriage on a high level. But in Lihen¡¯s opinion, of the men she could marry, she could not find a man who would be better than Harold. In retrospect, there are some good men who envy their wives, but marrying Lihen does not necessarily make them good husbands. Even that boring man, Harold, had fallen in love before Lihen and almost had a love escape with a commoner. The story was told by Harold¡¯s sister, Shoney. Anyway, Lihen decided to marry Harold again in this life. She can do better this time. There will be no more little girl crying alone because she was hurt by her mother-in-law, Baroness Hadley. She¡¯ll get along well with Harold and her in-laws. And her daughter will be born again. Actually, that was the most important. This time, she can really make her happy. She could see why her daughter said she didn¡¯t need the chance to live again. Her life is not going to change much if she lives again, not until Lihen Copland is a completely different person. But her daughter was different. She was a mother. She was her only remembrance of her childhood and the person she loved and valued most in the world. She can do it well. Lihen lifted the brush and applied pink ribbon to the little girl¡¯s hair painted on the canvas. She loved painting. Since a lady¡¯s artistic literacy was limited to appreciating rather than making art, painting was considered a man¡¯s job. But Viscount Copland didn¡¯t dislike her daughter¡¯s work. And she had quite a bit of skill. When a painting of hers was exhibited at a painting club exhibition held to coincide with the Academy¡¯s festival day, there were people who earnestly asked to buy the painting. It wasn¡¯t for sale, so the broker refused to do so. Previously, however, she quit when she graduated from the academy. When she left the painting club¡¯s studio, she didn¡¯t have a place to paint. If she wanted to, she could have prepared to paint at home, but she would not be able to paint well and could not learn it in earnest, because it was difficult to set up a studio. It was more so because she would be getting married soon. With a small hobby, she could have continued. Harold, however, was not one to understand her devotion to this hobby, and at an age when she was no longer noticed by her husband, she had long since let go of the brush and did not have the courage to start anew. She drew butterflies and flowers with colored pencils on a small piece of paper and showed it only to her daughter. That child loved it very much. This time, she decided to continue painting, if for nothing else. It¡¯s not to the point where she can say that she has no regrets, but it was one of the things she regretted. Didn¡¯t her daughter also ask her to meet a man who would understand her paintings? She doesn¡¯t know about the other men, but Harold will understand to some extent, provided that if she said that she wanted to and that she won¡¯t neglect household affairs. In fact, he was passive, so if Lihen went strong, he would yield to many things. Lihen gave up a lot of things in the early years of their marriage, not because Harold was adamant about taking control of the household, but because she was trying too hard to fit in with her husband by getting him to notice her first. She¡¯s going to change things little by little. Just a little bit. Don¡¯t be anxious, don¡¯t be too scared. One way or another, life went on similarly, and she knew how to manage familiar things well. ¡°What are you painting?¡± Deborah, who came into the studio and leaned her head to look at her canvas, asked. Lihen replied, painting the ribbon¡¯s lace carefully with red. ¡°Just a pretty girl.¡± ¡°Hmm.¡± ¡°Why? Do you have anything to say?¡± ¡°No, not really. I¡¯m just here to ask you if you¡¯ve decided on a graduation partner.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have a fianc¨¦ yet. I¡¯ll just go with my father.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t do it without fun. You know, I decided to go with senior Lawrence.¡± ¡°Lawrence? Lawrence Estillia?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± Deborah blushed and nodded enthusiastically. Lawrence Estillia was the eldest son of a count family. He graduated from the Academy last year and has won the hearts of countless girls with his handsome appearance and friendly and polite demeanor. Lihen from the past would have been envious. But not now. Even though she was a junior, it was not normal for a man to memorize the names of all the hundreds of women who attended the academy. Instead, he would smile at everyone. The future Count of Estillia never gave up on his liking for girls in their late teens. Until he was fifty. But saying that to the present Deborah doesn¡¯t mean she will humbly take her advice. Lihen had no choice but to say: ¡°That would be great. But don¡¯t get too far away from the chaperone.¡± ¡°Why are you saying what my aunts would say? Besides, don¡¯t you have a good man?¡± ¡°Good man?¡± ¡°Someone who could be a partner! You have to meet a lot of men before you get engaged to be able to distinguish good people!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. Won¡¯t my father decide in the end?¡± ¡°But there¡¯s no harm in meeting! The viscount won¡¯t pick just one person and say it¡¯s this person, would he? If you¡¯re lucky, you might find someone better than the Viscount decides. Like fateful love!¡± ¡°Yes. That¡¯s good.¡± Lihen replied nonchalantly. When she was really nineteen, she believed in such things as fateful love, but now she was old enough to laugh at her daughter telling such stories. ¡°If the opportunity comes, I¡¯ll think about it.¡± That¡¯s all she answered. But she didn¡¯t think the opportunity would come. There was no such thing as a pink lighted chance[1] before. Because she wasn¡¯t marginalized that much in this direction. At the time, she thought it would be too silly to partner with her father just like Deborah thinks, so after much effort, she was escorted by the esteemed son of Viscount Dound, who was introduced by her cousin Natalie, to the graduation party, but she didn¡¯t get along with him very well. It was strange that fate came when she made up her mind to ¡®Well, I¡¯ll just go with my father¡¯. TL Notes: [1] Pink lighted chance means na?ve, innocent or pure chance. A chance that seemed innocent and pure. CH 3.2 It was drizzling. Lihen, who left the main building to go home, stood in the lobby for about 15 minutes. She didn¡¯t have an umbrella, and she was alone, without a maid, as she usually did when she came to the academy. It didn¡¯t rain much, but if she walked like this, she would get wet. When she returns home, her hair will be ruined, so she can just wash and trim it, but the dress will be stained and wrinkled when it gets wet in the rain. Penny, who would be waiting in the carriage, would come to pick her up if she didn¡¯t come out after a long time. The rain might stop before then. It wouldn¡¯t matter if she went back to the painting atelier, but she just stood there because she was in a good mood. The weather was moist and warm, and the gardens of the Academy had not yet lost their greenery. The cold, fresh air filled her lungs, and her heart swelled with hope. Suddenly, she heard the sound of shoes, and when she looked back, Schudermel was standing there. Lihen held her breath. Even before returning to the past, Lihen had often encountered him. She got nervous just seeing his shadow pass by casually. She actually wanted to run into him, so she would deliberately turn around toward the pagoda or pick out the prettiest parasol and go for a walk. Schudermel probably didn¡¯t even know she existed. If they accidentally made eye contact, his eyes, which were as blue as jewels, would pass by heartlessly, as if staring at the grass or trees on the side of the road. Lihen would place her hand on her chest every time. She knew that there would be no relationship between her and an illegitimate child, and that a handsome and charming man like Schudermel would not cast a meaningful gaze on her. From the beginning, the first love was without passion or intensity and left nothing but a faint sense of resignation. Lihen never took it seriously, only telling her daughter with a smile that she had her first love. But there was one thing that was different from the past. Schudermel recognized her. ¡°Ah.¡± Lihen groaned. At the end of a glance, Schudermel¡¯s eyes changed slightly. The hesitation on his face was fleeting. Realizing that Lihen had noticed that he recognized her, Schudermel greeted her casually instead of pretending not to know. ¡°Hello, young lady Copland?¡± Isn¡¯t this messed up? Lihen wanted to die. Her face isn¡¯t something one can see everywhere, so she was certain that he recognised her as a fool who had jumped into her father¡¯s study where there were guests, wearing only clear, fully transparent pajamas. ¡°Hello¡­¡­.¡± She hesitated, not because she didn¡¯t know who he was, but because she didn¡¯t know what to call him. Despite being the son of the daughter of the Marquis of Laft, he is not Lord Laft. Because he was an illegitimate child. But that didn¡¯t mean she could just call his name in a friendly manner. Schudermel didn¡¯t seem to think so. He said his name as if he thought she didn¡¯t know him. ¡°I am Schudermel Laft. Call me Schudermel.¡± ¡°Ah, yes¡­¡­ I know. I¡¯m Lihen Copland.¡± After hesitating, Lihen then unfolded the hem of her skirt slightly and gave a formal greeting as per the etiquette. And her face flushed. ¡°Last time, I made a big mistake. I¡¯m sorry for showing you something shameful.¡± ¡°You have nothing to apologize for. But the viscount seemed to be worried¡­¡­¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡­ Thank you for your concern, including for my father. Nothing happened.¡± The two of them closed their mouths awkwardly. In fact, encountering Schudermel here was not surprising in itself. Because the tower was inside the academy. And Schudermel was a magician. He was not like her daughter who had a vague ¡®talent that could be studied more, but not necessarily sought out in the Magic Tower,¡¯ but a genius talent that could never be missed. It was still unknown at this point. This is because it is not until two years later that it is made official that he is a powerful magician with the dual attributes of water and wind. This is after the fact that his biological father is King Violden was made public. Prior to that, he was the illegitimate child of the daughter of the Marquis of Laft, the only grandson of the Marquis, but not a nobleman. While Queen Lieselotte was alive, the king did not dare reveal his existence. After the queen¡¯s death, however, he formally remarried to the daughter of the Marquis of Laft, and Schudermel regained his father¡¯s surname. Although he was born out of wedlock and did not have the right to succeed the throne, the king, with the consent of his successor, Princess Isaria, bestowed the title of Duke of Sagna to his son, whom he had neglected for a long time. It was no secret that Princess Isaria willingly accepted her half-brother not because of family love or blood ties, but because of the fact that he was a powerful magician. In an instant, Schudermel rose to prominence as a young unmarried duke and magician in society. That would be two years later. Lihen lowered her head awkwardly. There was no such thing as anticipation because he was someone she could never reach anyway. That first love was a really long time ago for her. She smiled at her daughter and said, ¡°Mom¡¯s first love was a wonderful person,¡± but she never seriously remembered it. Come to think of it, she was about the same age as her child. Unlike the Duke of Sagna. The Duke of Sagna from afar was always attractive, but he was always older than Lihen. And this Schudermel is twenty-three years old. The twenty-three-year-old young man is at an age where he should not be the object of her excitement. However, her heart was still pounding. Schudermel stood by her side for a moment, watching the rain fall. Lihen felt her heartbeat mix with the sound of rain. Schudermel¡¯s face was young and fresh after 20 years, but it was exactly the same as what she remembered, and his calm and gentle demeanor and somewhat chilly atmosphere were no different. Her eyes weren¡¯t wrong, Lihen thought again and she smiled without realizing it. She felt like she was standing in a memory. Such a gentle warmth wrapped around her body, and even the sound of rain sounded pleasant. ¡°¡­¡­ are you?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°I asked if you couldn¡¯t move because you didn¡¯t have an umbrella.¡± ¡°Ah, yes, Because the dress will be ruined if it gets wet.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Then there was a moment of silence. Schudermel broke the silence a few moments later. ¡°Are you going to wait until the rain stops?¡± ¡°After waiting for a short while, my maid will come pick me up. She knows that I¡¯m coming home around this time.¡± Lihen smiled warmly. There was another small joy in returning to the past. If it had been like before, she would have been nervous, and even if she had a chance to talk, she would not have been able to say a word properly and would have just been timid with her face red and her head down. ¡°Aren¡¯t you cold?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a bit chilly, but it¡¯s okay. If it gets cold, I can go back to the painting atelier.¡± ¡°An atelier?¡± ¡°Yes, it¡¯s in the main building. It¡¯s the atelier of the painting club.¡± Although unpopular, the old painting club¡¯s temporary atelier in the corner of the main building in the early days has not been moved to this day and has been forgotten. Few people know that. In fact, few people were aware of the existence of the painting club itself. At Lihen¡¯s explanation, Schudermel also looked surprised. ¡°So the atelier is there.¡± ¡°Did you know that there was a painting club?¡± ¡°¡­¡­ Yes, I once saw an exhibition in the main building.¡± Lihen laughed awkwardly. ¡°There were really no people¡­¡­¡± ¡°I guess I happen to be one of those few people.¡± Lihen¡¯s face turned red again. Her paintings were also hung there. Schudermel wouldn¡¯t know which one of them was her painting, but she was embarrassed that he did see it anyway. Schudermel looked away from her and turned his attention back to the rain-drenched garden. ¡°There are few people who have that hobby in the academy. Most of them like to stand out.¡± ¡°Those who study want to excel in their studies, those who are committed to social life want to stand out by their side, and magicians will want to stand out with magic. The heirs who will lead the family in the future will also have to learn what they need. I think it¡¯s a hobby that even a timid person like me who has a lot of time can have.¡± ¡°The young lady doesn¡¯t seem very timid.¡± That¡¯s because Lihen is living for the second time. She knew a little about the Duke of Sagna, so she wasn¡¯t afraid to talk like this. Schudermel might forget about her existence as soon as he rose from his position. No. He might remember the fool that ran out in her pajamas. She thought if she went back to her childhood, she would never make that mistake again. When she thought about it again, her face burned. She was not even nineteen years old. She tried to smile, but she sneezed. Lihen covered her mouth with the shawl she was wearing. A little embarrassed, she lifted her head to look at him, and saw that Schudermel had a slightly unfamiliar expression. Lihen tilted her head. She was a little embarrassed, but is her sneeze that weird for him to make that face? Schudermel, who was not originally expressive, soon returned to his normal face. ¡°I¡¯ve done an impolite thing. The young lady must be cold because the temperature has dropped due to the rain.¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m going¡­¡­.¡± Just as she was about to say she would go back to the painting atelier, Schudermel spoke first. ¡°If you allow me, I¡¯ll escort you to the carriage.¡± CH 3.3 ¡°If you allow me, I¡¯ll escort you to the carriage.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t Lord Schudermel here because he doesn¡¯t have an umbrella?¡± He waved his hand in the air without saying a word. A stream of air moved and created a large curtain in the air. The raindrops that were blocked by the curtain of air bounced outward. Unlike the umbrella, it was a large curtain that seemed to cover all the hems of Lihen¡¯s dress. ¡°Ah, without a spell.¡± Lihen said in surprise. There are three basic things a magician needs to manifest magic. Magic circles, catalysts, and spells. The magic circle forms the environment, the catalyst interferes with the environment, and the spell activates the magic. If an appropriate environment is provided, the magic circle can be omitted, and the attribute you have would make it possible to omit the catalyst. However, spells cannot be omitted. As far as she knew. At her inadvertent words, Schudermel smiled. ¡°Do you know anything about magic?¡± ¡°Ah, no. Just¡­¡­ I just heard a little bit.¡± Magicians are rare, and the opportunity to study the theory of magic is even rarer. Even more so if it was outside the tower. Lihen knows the basics of such magic only because her daughter learned it. Schudermel just nodded at Lihen¡¯s words. The need for a spell for a wizard to use magic was not like any vision, it was one of those things that were relatively close to common sense. ¡°Because I¡¯m a wind attribute magician, it¡¯s easy to do simple magic on a day like this.¡± Saying so, he held out his hand. Lihen flinched for a moment. Is it okay to receive this much favor? She wondered why Schudermel volunteered to be her escort. As she knew, Duke Sagna had a cold temperament. He was not harsh on others, but he was not equally interested in anyone. People said that great magicians were like that, and even that kind of character is the object of admiration. ¡°Shall we?¡± But he was reaching out his hand. Lihen bit her lip from the inside and placed her hand on his hand to hide her agitation. There was no reason to refuse, and she didn¡¯t feel like it. This, too, may also be one of the series of good fortunes that accompanied the small joys of returning to the past. She was prepared to get wet at the hem of her dress, but the ground was dry under her feet. The dryness ranged from just under her feet to the outside, about ten centimeters from the dress. The wind that had been blowing enough to shake the large branches became soft and weak like a breeze, and gently brushed her forehead. ¡°Oh my.¡± Lihen looked down at the ground in surprise, and again at the leaves that were falling in the wind. Schudermel said calmly. ¡°Because I handle a little bit of water, too.¡± ¡°It¡¯s amazing.¡± She knew he was a double attribute, but drying the ground so quickly and gently changing the wind on a rainy day would not be possible unless it was Schudermel Laft. At Lihen¡¯s small admiration, Schudermel smiled faintly. ¡°The young lady is not surprised.¡± ¡°I¡¯m surprised.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t look like it.¡± Perhaps less of a surprise than anyone else, Lihen thought. She already knew that he possessed two attributes, and that he was an amazing magician. So Schudermel¡¯s words weren¡¯t entirely wrong. Rather than surprise, her emotions were more of admiration. ¡°Where are you going?¡± ¡°I¡¯d like to ask you to go to the carriage stop, please.¡± Schudermel placed her hand on his arm and led her gently. Everywhere her feet touched, the ground was dry, and even if a fierce wind blew, all that touched her cheeks was a gentle breeze. If the sky was dark and the raindrops in front of her were getting thicker and not enough to dig up the soil on the floor, there would be fresh air around her that felt like she was taking a walk in good weather. Lihen laughed. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m inside the magic. Ah, I¡¯m really inside the magic.¡± ¡°I know that the ¡®magic¡¯ that the young lady is talking about means ¡®magic that comes out of a fairytale¡¯. It¡¯s not even wrong. Extremely advanced magic isn¡¯t much different from fantasy.¡± It wasn¡¯t too far from the carriage. As Penny unfolded a large umbrella and got out of Viscount Copland¡¯s carriage, she shouted in surprise when she and Schudermel approached without an umbrella. ¡°Miss!¡± ¡°Ah, Penny. It¡¯s alright. I didn¡¯t get rained on.¡± From the feet of the two of them, a large space appeared around the carriage, just as dry land spread. It was clear that this was Schudermel¡¯s consideration to keep Lihen¡¯s clothes from getting wet until she got into the carriage. Lihen removed her hand from Schudermel¡¯s arm and bowed her head politely. ¡°Thank you for escorting me, Lord Schudermel.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t mention it. Go ahead. It¡¯s getting cold.¡± It was normal to say goodbye once more here and then part. If not, be more proactive in expressing your gratitude. Lihen took a deep breath without realizing it. Her daughter¡¯s words came to mind. Succeeding. That would never happen. The other person was the future Duke of Sagna and the great magician Schudermel Laft. With this coincidence of today, she would have been able to color the memories of her first love with a variety of colors. Nevertheless, her heart skipped a beat. It¡¯s a new life that she has gained in a long time, isn¡¯t it good to try something she has never done before in her life? She already knew that the world would not change so easily and her life would not be ruined even if she ventured as boldly as she could within her limitations. And rejection and failure were not as embarrassing as she thought as a child. This was especially true if the other person was the Duke of Sagna. ¡°That, Lord Schudermel.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± As he was about to turn around, he stopped at Lihen¡¯s words in surprise. Lihen placed her hand in front of her chest. She should say it. She wanted to leave a memory of how courageous she was. Instead of starting with resignation without being able to speak properly by making excuses that he was out of reach, she wanted to be someone who had the courage to confront and be broken. She already knew that rejection was in order, and that in the future she would only add one word to her daughter, ¡®I confessed, but I got dumped.¡¯ Still, her heart was beating like crazy, and it really took her the courage to say this. ¡°If you don¡¯t have a prior engagement on February 20th next year.¡± She bit her lower lip. That was the date of the ball on the first day of the annual academy graduation party. ¡°Would you be my partner?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It took courage not only to hear the answer, but also to look at the cold face of Schudermel. But before she could raise her head, the answer came back. ¡°I am willing if the Viscountess allows it.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± Lihen raised her head in surprise. Schudermel had the same serious face as the first time. However, there was a slight warmth in his pale blue eyes. ¡°Then, I look forward to hearing from you.¡± He lowered his head lightly. And beckoned her to get into the carriage. Penny tugged at Lihen¡¯s arm, unable to hide her surprise. Lihen said goodbye to Schudermel in bewilderment and climbed into the carriage, dragged by Penny¡¯s arm. The coachman closed the door. ¡°Miss, Miss! Oh my God, did he request to be Miss¡¯ partner?¡± ¡°Huh? Uh, yes.¡± ¡°Oh my God! Wow! Miss! Uwaa!¡± There was no sense of reality. Penny made a fuss and hit Lihen on her arm. Lihen stared blankly at Penny, then opened her mouth wide and blocked the scream from coming out with her hand. The sound of raindrops falling on the ceiling of the carriage grew louder. CH 4.1 Viscountess Copland was perplexed. Lihen was a very gentle child. She had never had a major accident until she was nineteen. While other girls would squeal out at young, handsome men, often commit love affairs, and even do things they couldn¡¯t say to avoid their parents¡¯ eyes, Lihen was an exception. But now she was going to the party with a young man as her partner, who was neither her father nor a relative. It was even the illegitimate son of the daughter of Marquis Laft whose birth turned the world upside down. Of course, the Viscountess knew that Schudermel Laft was a very handsome young man. When he passed by, not only the young ladies but also the elderly ladies would cover their faces with fans. She knew that he was a talent the Magic Tower cherished, and he was the painful finger[1] of Marquis Laft. When her daughter gave birth to a fatherless child, the Marquis¡¯s grief was indescribable. Although the day would never come when her daughter, who became a single mother, would take it as a dowry, the Marquis gave her a large fortune as her property. Schudermel would also inherit the property in the future. However, he was still an illegitimate child. An illegitimate child was a symbol of immorality and a stain itself on the parents, and no matter how noble his bloodline was, he cannot inherit his parents¡¯ status. Rather, if he had been a commoner, he would have been recognized for his amazing magic talent and could have entered a certain family as a son-in-law or obtained a proper title himself. But Schudermel was different. It has not been more than a hundred years since the Marquis of Laft family was the ruling family of an independent vassal state. Their status was also different from the other two marquis families currently in Elda. Given that the duke¡¯s titles in Elda were all owned by the royal family, the Marquis of Laft were a noble family second only to the royal family. Since he was a known illegitimate son of the Marquis of Laft, he could not enter a family lower than his lineage. Because of their relationship with the royal family, it was impossible to obtain a new title and open a family line on his own. Moreover, the queen hated him to death, and the future king¡¯s aides were wary of him. This was an insurmountable obstacle for the marriage partner. This was true even if Schudermel took the surname Laft, the only son of the daughter of the Marquis and the beloved grandson of Marquis Laft. That¡¯s why no matter how many young ladies adored him, there was no talk of marriage. Even though the Count of Melland¡¯s daughter was dying of love sickness, her parents didn¡¯t even lift an eyebrow. ¡°How dare you!¡± The Viscountess was also angry and shouted so at first. Lihen lowered her head with an apologetic face. ¡°I asked for it, not Lord Schudermel, so please don¡¯t blame him. He also said that if mother would give him permission, he would visit and formally ask.¡± ¡°No, do you have any idea at all? You know that that man is an illegitimate child! He doesn¡¯t fit in with you, and he doesn¡¯t suit you!¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t ask him to be my marriage partner. I am well aware of Lord Schudermel¡¯s position.¡± It was the exact opposite of what her mother thought, but either way he didn¡¯t suit Lihen. Her eyebrows drooped in trouble as she put her hands together in front of her chest. ¡°I just¡­¡­ want to leave a memory of my girlhood. I have never been escorted by a man other than my father and grandfather. Lord Schudermel can¡¯t be seriously interested in me either. He just happened to be kind.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­¡± The Viscountess relented. Lihen was also a girl in her prime. There was no way that there was no longing or love. What¡¯s wrong with going to a party together for once? Although graduation parties were a big deal, it was different from a royal ball. It was more common for students from the same academy to attend in pairs. ¡°This is just a graduation party. I¡¯m not asking him to marry me. Mom, what do you think of your daughter? I¡¯m not thinking like that.¡± Lihen¡¯s words reassured the Viscountess. She let out a small sigh and took her daughter¡¯s hand. ¡°Your mom was making a needless remark. It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t trust my daughter¡­¡± ¡°No, you did not. I knew you¡¯d be surprised.¡± Lihen smiled. ¡°And there¡¯s nothing wrong with having a close relationship with a magician. There are very few people who are officially researchers at the Magic Tower. Even if Lord Schudermel isn¡¯t a member of the nobility, he is an amazing wizard and master of the Magic Tower. Knowing that will help us someday. Especially a family as small as ours.¡± ¡°You really are. You speak like an adult.¡± ¡°I am an adult now.¡± Having said this, Lihen, on the contrary, affectionately, like a little girl, stretched out her arms and hugged her mother¡¯s arms. The Viscountess stroked Lihen¡¯s head in surprise and delight. ¡°You really are. You¡¯re such a baby.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry. Mom and Dad don¡¯t have to worry about it. I love you, Mom.¡± ¡°I love you, too, my daughter.¡± When Lihen suddenly started saying ¡°I love you¡± as in her childhood, the Viscountess was awkward and embarrassed to say that to her grown-up daughter, so she couldn¡¯t answer easily. However, as she listened and answered every day, she became able to say it naturally. There were more words of love between family members than ever before, and soft smiles were exchanged. Even the adolescent Macaulay didn¡¯t like it because his face would turn red but he would still make eye contact with Lihen and would greet her with a shout, ¡°Have a safe trip, sister!¡± Like most noble families, Viscount Copland was not a house with such a warm atmosphere in the past. In fact, Lihen liked and respected her father more than her mother. However, there was a sense of distance with her father, but not on the side of her mother. But because it was difficult for her to tell her father that she loved him, she didn¡¯t tell her mom either. Macaulay, who was no different from boys his age, could not have made a friendly face to his family, and so did she. But in fact, all three of them loved each other. By the time she realized it when she got older, she was already a stubborn middle-aged person and couldn¡¯t fix it, and she lost her parents in the midst of hesitating day by day. This time she wouldn¡¯t be late. She decided to say I love you as much as she did in her two lifetimes, and she was putting it into practice. The Viscountess said gently. ¡°Send a letter to Lord Schudermel respectfully. Mom was so surprised that she overreacted, but your thoughts are deeper than mine. Opportunities to get acquainted with a magician are rare.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Lihen smiled. In fact, she didn¡¯t expect to be able to build a deep relationship with Schudermel, and she didn¡¯t intend to try. It was an excuse to tell the Viscountess, but it was true that if she could actually continue even a small bond with Schudermel, it would be of great help to Baron Hadley in the future. It was also the same for her daughter. If she was thinking about cultivating her magical talents, what could be more reassuring than her friendship with Schudermel? Still, she decided not to. Asking him to be her partner was just an impulsive act. She did not want to break or defile the memories and pure feelings of her first love. She felt a little sorry for her daughter, but she just wanted to keep it as a jewel for her girlhood. In a voice mixed with laughter, the Viscountess said. ¡°It¡¯s also necessary for you to meet several men before getting married.¡± ¡°Is that so? Even Deborah told me that today.¡± ¡°Of course. That way, you¡¯ll develop an eye for seeing so you can make successful choices when you have to make a really important choice. ¡­¡­I understand how you feel about wanting to make memories. In fact, I also thought about talking to Natalie. It¡¯s so lonely to be escorted by your family to your graduation party. But if I, your mom, introduce you to someone, it¡¯ll be like a meeting with a prospective partner.¡± Lihen laughed. She thought it was strange that Natalie, whom she was not very close to, would introduce her to a man who would escort her, but she didn¡¯t know that there was a reason. ¡°You must have not trusted me that much.¡± ¡°I trust you too much. I thought you were too kind to make your partner without any permission.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I came to ask for permission.¡± ¡°Come to think of it, that¡¯s right.¡± The Viscountess laughed along with Lihen. She said teasingly, pinching her soft cheeks slightly. ¡°Right. You¡¯re my good daughter. Your partner was unexpected, but I really hope you have a good time.¡± ¡°I will.¡± Lihen asked what suddenly came to mind. ¡°But did mom have it too?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°The feeling of wanting to make memories.¡± ¡°Of course, there is. Though it¡¯s a memory with your father.¡± ¡°Mom was so lucky.¡± The Viscountess blushed a little and smiled. ¡°You really are. You¡¯re siding with your father.¡± ¡°Father was lucky, too.¡± Lihen said so sincerely and with envy. When she was younger, she thought all couples lived like her parents, and she thought she would, too. But in hindsight, such a couple was really rare. ¡®I was already fortunate that it was Harold.¡¯ She smiled bitterly. Harold was not alone to blame for the placid and lack of warmth between the couple. ¡®This time around, we can get along well.¡± It was a strange feeling to think of Harold while getting permission to go to a party with Schudermel. It seemed that instead of living in reality and dreaming, she was living in a dream and worrying about reality. She let out a small sigh and decided to forget about Harold for the time being. It was a dream that she would wake up to someday anyway, so wouldn¡¯t it be good to enjoy it a little more? Perhaps waking up in the body of a 19-year-old again was a dream in itself. TL Notes: [1] ¡°?? ????¡± literally means painful finger. It comes from Korean idiom ¡°? ??? ??? ? ?? ??? ??¡± which translates to ¡°every child is dear to his or her parents.¡± CH 4.2 Returning from the afternoon tea time, Lihen opened a new card. She wasn¡¯t even writing a love letter, but her hands were shaking with nervousness. ¡°Huuu, haaa.¡± She took a few deep breaths out loud and Penny chuckled. ¡°Would you like me to get a prescription from Dr. Norman to calm you down?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tease me.¡± Unconsciously, she said sulkily in a sharp voice, and Lihen immediately regretted it. ¡°Sorry.¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m sorry, Miss.¡± Penny apologized, burying her hand in the hem of her skirt. Lihen smiled. ¡°Don¡¯t tease me too much. Because I seriously don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to have anything to do with Lord Schudermel. We¡¯re just going to the graduation party together.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s Lord Schudermel, I know it well. The Miss keeps going for a walk in the garden behind the main building, where there are no people, because you want to run into him.¡± Lihen couldn¡¯t answer. She never told anyone. But if she thought about it, there was no way Penny, who was always stuck by her side, couldn¡¯t have noticed. Unbeknownst to her, her face turned bright red. She thought no one would know it for the rest of her life. Her memory was vague, so rather than having her feelings exposed right now, it felt like an embarrassing childhood event was being revealed. Penny smiled broadly. ¡°I never thought Miss would have such courage.¡± ¡°We¡¯re just going to the graduation party together.¡± ¡°Even so. How did you come together with him like that? I was really surprised. The fact that Miss came holding hands with him made me jump in surprise, but my God, he even used such tremendous magic to keep Miss¡¯s dress from getting wet.¡± ¡°Maybe it¡¯s because magic is as simple as breathing for him. He wouldn¡¯t do anything if he did not like it, but once he decides to do it, isn¡¯t he the kind of person who does it perfectly?¡± ¡°Oh, Miss. Why are you so negative? If he really didn¡¯t like it, you wouldn¡¯t have been escorted, perfectly or not. He even accepted your request to be your partner.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Lihen¡¯s cheeks, which had regained their color, blushed a little again. Penny was right. No one would offer to accompany someone to a party just for kindness to someone they didn¡¯t like. ¡°But Penny, you shouldn¡¯t talk about that anywhere else. Because this time would really be the end of our relationship.¡± ¡°Oh, do I look like a person who spreads rumors? It¡¯s about Miss. And do you really need to decide that it¡¯s the end? You might be able to get along well with him.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not going to happen.¡± ¡°Because he is an illegitimate child?¡± Penny asked straightforwardly. Lihen was taken aback. Penny muttered an explanation. ¡°After the Miss asked him to be your partner yesterday, I was curious to see what kind of person he was, so I looked around a bit. It was a famous story.¡± While saying that, Penny was stunned and asked. ¡°I am not bothering the Miss by looking into this, right?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. But I¡¯d rather you not do that in the future, Penny. You know how much my father hates talking about other people¡¯s scandals.¡± ¡°Oh, why would the master care about something as trivial as my business? And the Master of the Magic Tower is a great existence. He is no different from a noble.¡± ¡°That¡¯s how the treatment is, but it¡¯s because¡­¡­.¡± The value in the wedding market was different. She was about to say that, but Lihen stopped. She just wanted to enjoy the excitement, joy, and time with him, but since she was old enough to get married soon, she kept thinking about it. In social circles, the biggest concern was always who meets and marries whom, so even if she danced two songs together with someone, she might be like, ¡°Perhaps?¡± and it couldn¡¯t be helped because that¡¯s the kind of place it was. She sternly told Penny. ¡°Don¡¯t talk about nonsense everywhere. We¡¯re just going to the graduation party together.¡± ¡°Oh, okay. Miss is too timid. I just have to spread the rumors so that the master and the mistress approve it.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t make a big deal out of it. Lord Schudermel is wonderful, but we¡¯ve only met once, and talking about it can be a nuisance to him and it can be very difficult for me.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I know, but¡­¡­¡± Penny buried her hand in the hem of her skirt to apologize and lowered her head, and soon smiled a little. ¡°Miss has a very gentle face.¡± ¡°Gentle face?¡± ¡°You¡¯re a little different these days. I can¡¯t say exactly where you¡¯re different, but you seem to be more relaxed now, and you laugh a lot¡­¡­ And you act boldly. Miss mustered up the courage, so I really hope you do well.¡± Lihen also smiled at her. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°Yes! I¡¯ll really watch my mouth!¡± Well, just how far can Penny, an ordinary 19-year-old girl, keep a secret? Lihen suddenly remembered her husband¡¯s problem. Penny abruptly quit her job sometime next year when she was engaged to Harold and married a man eighteen years her senior, and left the capital. At that time, Lihen was disgusted to hear that Penny¡¯s husband was thirty-eight years old, but she never had a chance to meet him in person. Nearly twenty years later, she had heard from her nanny, Mrs. Rod, that Penny had become pregnant at the time and got married in a hurry. It made her sad when she thought about it. Lihen didn¡¯t know if Penny lived happily ever after with her husband, but she knew one thing for sure. She didn¡¯t want to quit her job. ¡°Come to think of it, my parents will decide on the marriage anyway, so that¡¯s fine, and you.¡± ¡°Me?¡± ¡°If you have a lover, be sure to tell me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have one.¡± Penny blushed and shook her head. ¡°Tell me when you have one. And no matter how difficult it is, be sure to talk about it. I like Penny, so I want to help her when she¡¯s having a hard time.¡± ¡°Miss¡­¡­.¡± Penny was moved by Lihen¡¯s words and blushed and felt awkward. ¡°I didn¡¯t know that Miss thought of me that way.¡± ¡°Of course I should care. You¡¯re my person. I would be very lonely if you suddenly got married and left.¡± ¡°How could it be! I like Miss so much.¡± ¡°Hmm, is that true?¡± ¡°Really. You¡¯re better these days.¡± ¡°So, you mean that I wasn¡¯t good before.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant!¡± Penny laughed bashfully. ¡°No, I understand. I was young, and it was a time when I was very sensitive.¡± ¡°You speak as if it happened a few years ago.¡± Lihen just laughed and picked up the fountain pen. Dear Sir Schudermel Laft, Your kindness toward me the other day still warms my heart. I also want to thank you for graciously accepting my rude and immature request. I obtained my mother¡¯s permission. I look forward to your visit when you have time; I¡¯ll have some hot tea ready for you. Lihen of Copland. Knowing that she had nothing to say, and that she would regret it later if she wrote a long letter, Lihen wrote down only what she had to say. Rather, it was the handwriting that bothered her. She must have written thousands of invitations in her life, but once she wrote them down, she didn¡¯t like them. As if the fluttering heart was revealed at the fingertips, the hand that kept putting the period was shaking. After throwing away a few cards to write in a beautiful and neat handwriting, she managed to finish them and put them down. If it was to be sent to a friend, she would have decorated it with a ribbon or melted beeswax to stamp it, but that was not the case. Instead, she put a sheet of dried lavender petals inside the envelope. And hoping that it wouldn¡¯t show that she cared too much about this card, she left it to Penny to bring it to the servant in charge of the letter. CH 4.3 When Schudermel opened the envelope, he first noticed the scent that swept through the laboratory in the wind. He reflexively held out his hand. The wind had always been his loyal companion, so the wind gently whirled and gathered the fragrance and placed it in Schudermel¡¯s hand. Schudermel looked unfamiliarly down at his palm. In his hand, the sphere of wind whirled around, and the lavender petals trapped in it swayed in the air as if caught in a storm. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Gerald Maximo, who was practicing water magic at an experimental table on one side of the lab, asked. Schudermel replied in his usual tone. ¡°Nothing.¡± When he released the wind, the scent brushed his cheeks and dissipated. The petals fell on the palm of his hand. He didn¡¯t doubt Lihen at all. For safety reasons, he was in the habit of blocking out unfamiliar particles from things like envelopes and box packaging. But what flowed out was a faint lavender scent. If Schudermel hadn¡¯t collected it in the first place and locked it in his hands, it would have been so weak that it wouldn¡¯t have been felt in the air like this. He pulled the card out of the envelope. Particles of the scent remained on the card. ¡°Whoa, a girl?¡± Gerald came to snoop and was surprised to see a pretty vine rose pattern stamped on the card¡¯s surface. Schudermel looked at him, wondering how he knew. ¡°That¡¯s because these small flower bud paintings are only used by unmarried ladies. You may not know Lord Schudel.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What¡¯s going on? I thought you weren¡¯t interested in women. I thought Lord Schudel would not be able to distinguish a woman¡¯s face except for his mother and Lady Silla.¡± ¡°What nonsense.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the truth. You don¡¯t even look at the heiress of the Count of Melland, or you pretend to not know the daughter of the Count of Wayne, who is rumored to be pretty.¡± ¡°I never pretended I didn¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Aha, you mean you really didn¡¯t know, and did not pretend?¡± ¡°I knew the face at least.¡± It¡¯s just that he didn¡¯t bother to recognize and introduce himself to the other person. Even more so if it was a woman who had a passionate crush on him. He knew how reckless passion could destroy a person¡¯s life and what misfortunes it could bring, even to their families. He knew it was natural for people to be attracted, but he didn¡¯t want to jump in like a moth to fire. Some people have said that because he was a water magician, his soul seemed to have cooled, but it has nothing to do with his magical trait. He didn¡¯t even think that his soul was cold. It¡¯s just that he had always been careful with his behavior, never to indulge in passion, especially with women. If he caused a scandal, it was not just his own problem, because it was easy to involve his mother and it would become a dirty story. Gerald knew it too, so he thought it was surprising and tried to pry. ¡°So, from whom did you get the letter? You don¡¯t get letters from people you don¡¯t know very well.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal. I just decided to escort the Lady of Viscount Copland at this year¡¯s graduation party.¡± As he skimmed through the contents of the card, he unconsciously smiled. Lihen¡¯s handwriting was scrawled or, on the contrary, she¡¯s obsessed with writing too beautifully, so there¡¯s no indistinguishable part at all, and it was easy to read clearly. Her handwriting was suitable for her calm and gentle demeanor. The content was just what was needed. With the Viscountess¡¯ permission, then it would be fine, and he nodded. Although he did not know Lihen well, it was easy to guess that the Viscount and his wife trusted her. For a nineteen-year-old girl, it was difficult to look at her crush with a gentle, calm face without exaggerating or running away. It was the same to send a letter without a hint of excitement even after asking him to be her partner at the graduation party with a bright red face. Among the letters from a noble lady that Schudermel had received so far, it was the first one that was so flawless that there was no problem even if he showed it to others. But she must be a very lovely daughter because she has so much affection at home enough to jump into her father¡¯s arms in her pajamas. Schudermel unconsciously laughed a little. Gerald opened his white eyes and looked at him. ¡°Oh, a sudden escort at the graduation party for Viscount Copland¡¯s daughter. Did you have a change of heart? I know all the socialite teenage beauties, but not Viscount Copland¡¯s daughter. You even kicked[1] the daughter of Count Wayne.¡± ¡°What change of heart. I¡¯m just going to a party.¡± ¡°I¡¯m surprised you talked that much. When did Lord Schudel attend a party or something? What in the world stood out to you about the Viscount¡¯s daughter?¡± Considering how delighted the chatterbox would be by the answer that impressed him, it was better not to say it. Schudermel sighed inwardly. ¡°I don¡¯t intend to insult and say no to a lady who mustered up the courage to ask me and I have no reason to refuse. With permission from her parents, of course.¡± ¡°But you¡¯ve always refused?¡± ¡°Their attitude is what caused me to refuse.¡± Gerald blinked. So it was like that. Despite the fact that Schudermel had a great flaw in being an illegitimate child, there were two ladies who either confessed their love for him or wanted to make him their partner. Either they were obsessed with passion, or they were trying to get the attention of the socialites by attaching a good-looking, talk-worthy man with the right accessories, and then would decide to dump him and find a more appropriate man when it was time to get married. He asked, puzzled. ¡°Does that mean you really like the daughter of the Viscount?¡± ¡°Gerald.¡± He has always been a chatterbox, but he¡¯s been too talkative today. Schudermel pointed to the experiment table. ¡°The deadline for submitting the task of stabilizing the climate in the model world is three days away. Did you solve the boomerang effect?¡± Gerald closed his mouth and stepped back onto the experiment table. Schudermel put the card back in the envelope and put the lavender petals in the drawer. Then he sat down at his desk and pulled out a piece of paper. It was to request a visit to the Viscount of Copland. TL Notes: [1] Not really kicked, but like ignoring or dismissing someone. I think.