《Peach of June》 Chapter 1 1. The Reason Why I Am F*cked Up There are so many strange words in the world. ¡®Twice in a woman¡¯s life, there are times when many men come to her. The choice of a man at that time determines a woman¡¯s life.¡¯ These are the words of sister Bella. ¡°Are men that important in women¡¯s life?¡± When I asked, sister Bella smiled as if she knew she would get such a question. ¡°Of course they are. Women are just as important in men¡¯s life.¡± ¡°If you say so, I have nothing to say.¡± After hearing my response, my older sister smiled kindly again and spoke as if taunting me. ¡°Leah, I¡¯m not talking about what women do and men do. Twice for others but once for us. You know that, right?¡± My sister is talking about the time when men are coming. It is said that there are times when men are coming twice in a woman¡¯s life. But for the women in our house, that period is only once; three months from June to August, the summer of turning seventeen. At that time, men who want to marry the women of our Riverrun family come to Riverrun Island and spend their summer vacation. In other words, it is a three-month marriage process during summer vacation. Riverrun Island, at the northern tip of the Empire, is quiet and cool even in the hot summer. The lavender forest surrounding the castle is at its peak in summer. This is the best place to spend your summer vacation. All the men of the aristocracy who are not yet married dream of going on vacation to Riverrun Island. There are also many who are aiming for the enormous dowry of the Riverrun. The Queen chooses three or four of them and gives them the right to go on vacation to Riverrun Island. The men spend the longest vacation allowed by the Queen while walking through the lavender fields in the detached palace of the mansion where the cool breeze blows. Reading, writing, contemplating, attending tea parties and proms, and talking to our seven sisters known for their beauty. They call this the ¡®magic summer¡¯. When the last night of August is over and the cold wind begins to blow, the magical summer of dreams is over. Men propose to a 17-year-old girl from the Riverrun family. On the first day of September, Riverrun¡¯s daughter chooses one of her suitors. The wedding will take place in September. After September, a long winter will soon come to Riverrun Island. Riverrun¡¯s daughters leave the island before the snow covers the entire island. Sister Bella was lucky. That year, the Queen had chosen five suitors ¨C the more suitors, the better. All five fell in love with her and proposed to her with all their heart. Among them, there was a man who captured the heart of Isabella Riverrun. When she got married, it turned out that he was a better person than she had expected. ¡°I wish I can be as lucky as you, sister.¡± ¡°You will, Leah. Any man will like you.¡± ¡°I am not as pretty as you, sister.¡± Isabella Riverrun is the most beautiful woman in the kingdom with wavy blonde hair and green eyes. Sometimes even I¡¯m mesmerized when I look at her eyes. ¡°You¡¯re not trying to say that women are all about looks, are you?¡± ¡°Not just women, but also men. It¡¯s all about looks. At first glance, you can only see looks anyway.¡± ¡°Then, will you choose the most handsome among the men proposing?¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it natural? But the problem is whether a handsome man proposes to me or not.¡± ¡°Leah, seeing you grunting all the time, you must be nervous. But don¡¯t do that. You are pretty. Aren¡¯t you one of the seven beautiful Riverrun sisters?¡± ¡°That¡¯s the rumor. Isn¡¯t Riverrun¡¯s third daughter the prettiest?¡± I answered my sister¡¯s words with a pouty mouth. Bella never gets tired of me grumbling. ¡°Leah, anyone will fall for you.¡± I repeated the grunts I used to say. ¡°I hate the color of my dull eyes. It would be nice if mine were green like yours.¡± ¡°I want to have gray eyes like you. Only you are special with pretty gray eyes. When you¡¯re in the lavender forest like now, they strangely shine purple. Those are really pretty eyes.¡± My sister, as always, does not get tired and accepts my grumbling. In fact, I may be repeating my grumbling because I want to be comforted by my older sister¡¯s kind words. It sounds childish, but it can¡¯t be helped. The only one who treats me so kindly is Isabella. ¡°You¡¯re the only one who says that.¡± ¡°Anyone will fall for your eyes. It¡¯s true, Leah.¡± ¡°What if no man falls in love with me? What if the man who loves me is ugly? The man I fell in love with may not like me.¡± ¡°There will be. At least one will like you.¡± ¡°Yeah, let¡¯s say all the men have a crush on me. Let¡¯s say there¡¯s someone I like. But can that person be as good as your husband, Jamie Orle? It¡¯s a very small chance.¡± ¡°Good luck.¡± Sister Bella said with dreamy eyes as if she was thinking about Jamie Orle. ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave my life to a small chance.¡± ¡°What can I do? We were born as daughters of Riverrun.¡± Smiling, my sister kissed me on the forehead wishing me luck. But my sister¡¯s kiss didn¡¯t work for me. That summer, there were only three suitors the Queen sent to our island: Duke Julien Renal. Count Phil Rosemond. Antoine G¨¹ell, the second son of Count G¨¹ell. Chapter 2 First, Duke Julien Renal captivated me at first sight. He is a very handsome man. Duke Renal, who is tall and has broad shoulders, has a sharp nose with a ferocious hard jawline like a god of war. His clean face lines, as if drawn with a single brush, are too perfect, and a bit cold. However, the pupils hidden in the shadows created by the eccentric high eyebrow bones gave off a surprisingly pure light. Even though I knew that he was a warrior who made a great contribution to the First Imperial War, I wondered if that person could kill a single person with those sweet eyes. Because I have a strict father, I always have an ideal type of a sweet and kind man, and I fell in love with him at first sight. His black eyes shone gently like glass from time to time, depending on where he placed his gaze. The cold and languid gaze made those gorgeous eyes look even better. The very next day upon arriving at the Riverrun Island, he gave me a large, succulent, coveted peach from his territory. ¡°Do peaches grow on Riverrun Island?¡± Julien Renal asked. ¡°No. I¡¯ve never tasted it. I¡¯ve heard of June peaches, which are said to only be found in the Renal¡¯s estate,¡± I answered. ¡°It is so soft that it cannot be trimmed with a knife. You have to peel the skins by hand.¡± Julien Renal went out to the garden. Clean water was flowing from the statue near the fountain where Julian carefully washed his hands. Then he peeled the peach by himself ¨C unlike a nobleman. ¡°Your hands will get dirty.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± He didn¡¯t care even though the juice was dripping and his hands were getting sticky. The noon light came into the drawing-room in June¡¯s middle of the day. The sun was shading his face, making it difficult to see his expression. White, cold hands carefully peeled off the peach skin and put it directly into my mouth. As I took a bite of the peach, his long fingers lightly touched my lips. It was the first time I had such intimate contact with a man. I can¡¯t forget that moment. ¡°It¡¯s so delicious. Sweet,¡± I said. He smiled softly. It was only because of his smile that the sunlight at noon in June was so bright. ¡°There is a saying that if you eat the peach of June, you will live forever,¡± he said. ¡°Are you already proposing? Do you want to live with me forever?¡± He laughed without answering. It was a fresh smile. A picture of the future unfolded in five seconds in my mind. The Duke of Renal proposes to me. I marry him and become the Duchess of Renal. The two of us pick peaches every June in Renal¡¯s estate. Our children, who resemble Duke Renal¡¯s black eyes, come to Riverrun Island every summer to play in the lavender fields, and Duke Renal smiles brightly and sits next to me, peeling peaches for our children. It was a picture of me living happily by his side forever. Imagination spreads its wings very quickly. But the wings were soon broken. He didn¡¯t really care about me. The Duke of Renal did not do much courtship with me. No, he almost acted like he was avoiding me. The peach was sweet and delicious, but he wasn¡¯t at all, contrary to his first impressions. Did I do anything wrong while eating the peach? Or was it that he was excited and came to courtship with a peach, but I wasn¡¯t really his type? For three months, the Duke of Renal never spoke to me. He always locked himself in a separate house, and even though he occasionally came out, he was alone in the lavender forest and strolling through the garden. When he ran into me on the promenade, he barely greeted me and left in a hurry to the point where I was embarrassed, and when I entered the drawing-room and sat there, he then got up and hurried off to the study. Sometimes when I look up at his room from the garden, I could see his face staring this way from the window, perhaps looking down at the scenery of the garden. But when our eyes met, he immediately drew the curtains and closed the windows. He must hate me. Why the hell did you come here? Did you come here to pretend to be courting because you needed a political marriage with the Riverrun family? Why did you give me the peach then? Still, you had to pretend, so did you give me one as a gift? Why did I bring up the topic of the marriage proposal? When I think of that time, my face turns red. I was shy at first, and then I hated him for not being so interested in me, and even though I didn¡¯t do anything wrong, his behavior of disappearing when I saw him as if he was avoiding dirty shit was disrespectful. Eventually, I stopped paying attention to him. Chapter 3 Second, the Count of Rosemond showed a tremendous interest in me. He was chasing after me all three months to the point of pissing me off. He always praised me with all kinds of creative rhetoric from head to toe and gave me obsidian, ruby, sapphire, emerald, and all kinds of precious jewels. The kingdom¡¯s largest mine was located in the estate of the Rosemond family. But his creativity seems to have been wasted in devising rhetoric for me. He was extraordinarily rich but pathetically stupid. The conversation itself didn¡¯t work. It was hard to understand why the Queen had chosen such an idiot and sent him to Riverrun Island. Perhaps he also dedicated enormous jewels to the Queen. The third, Count G¨¹ell¡¯s second son, Antoine G¨¹ell, was the exact opposite of Count Rosmond. I mean, he was completely broke. I heard that his maternal grandfather was the Queen¡¯s favorite poet, and that¡¯s probably why he was chosen as one of the suitors to come to Riverrun Island. First of all, he likes me. And I like him quite a bit. He always looked at me with bright eyes. He listened to everything I said. ¡°Leah, Leah.¡± He always called my name affectionately. His pocket is empty, but his emotions are richer than anyone else¡¯s. With eyes as beautiful as falling stars, he would come under the window of my room and recite beautiful poems. Antoine G¨¹ell has long hair and long limbs like a giraffe. He is a handsome boy with a thin body and pale skin. On a summer night, his shadow standing under the window of my room, illuminated by the bright moon, was pretty cool. The songs he sang were embarrassing and a little less literary, but thanks to the moonlight, they were worth listening to. All summer, I spent most of my time with him. I didn¡¯t feel like Antoine and I got along incredibly well. Sometimes I feel like he doesn¡¯t understand anything I¡¯m saying. But he gave me everything. He did everything I said, so I had some fun too. It was my first relationship, by the way. I couldn¡¯t help but be excited. It is quite pleasant to see a handsome man following me around, reciting poetry for me, liking me, and supporting me. Summer passed by quickly. Not everyone proposed to me on the last day of August. Duke Julien Renal, as expected, sat quietly. The Count of Rosemond and Antoine proposed to me. ¡°I have nothing but a rose for you, but if you accept this flower, I will make you happy for the rest of your life.¡± Antoine G¨¹ell said so and plucked me a rose from the garden. ¡°How are you going to make me happy?¡± ¡°I will always hug you tenderly.¡± It¡¯s a word that I like. As soon as I heard it, I thought of this. ¡®Oh, I¡¯ve been looking for someone to hug me tenderly all my life.¡¯ It was funny, but it was real. Being hugged by someone is so cozy, warm, and pleasant. When I was young, my nanny sometimes gave me a hug. I can still vividly remember the soft feeling I felt when the thick nanny¡¯s forearms embraced me. I never did that with my mother or father. These days, Bella sometimes pats me on the back. But that¡¯s all. In life, there are not many things that deserve a hug from someone. The best thing about having someone you love is that there is someone who will hug you whenever you ask. My body trembled with excitement at the thought of having someone who could give his whole body and hug me, and that there would be someone who could comfort me with his temperature and touch. Hugs are worth more than we think. ¡°If you marry me, all the jewels I have are yours. Will you give me the honor to live with a woman who shines brighter than jewels?¡± The Count of Rosemond said so and presented me with a pink diamond that looked well over 10,000 rubles. It was so beautiful. However, I was not confident that I would spend the rest of my life looking at his eyes, which were hazier than trampled stones, let alone jewels. ¡°I have enough money. I have money and beauty, Antoine, so you just have to hug me. With flowers.¡± Antoine jumped in joy and hugged me up. So I chose Antoine. Chapter 4 2. Kindness Comes From Money Before September of that year, we got married. It was my childhood dream to get married in the lavender forest on Riverrun Island. But Antoine took me to his estate, suggesting that we have our own simple wedding instead of the luxurious one that many people are watching. At the end of September, a wedding was held in a small church on the estate of Count G¨¹ell. Instead of holding a gorgeous bouquet like my older sisters, I made a bouquet of small wildflowers that Antoine had picked, and I wore a plain, girly white muslin dress that I originally had. We were just like a little bride and groom. ¡°Are you okay, Leah?¡± Sister Isabella asked me on the wedding day. ¡°What do I need to worry about?¡± I asked back. ¡°To marry the second son of Count G¨¹ell.¡± ¡°Are you talking about money?¡± Isabella Riverrun, now Duchess Isabella Orle. Sister Bella was married to a duke¡¯s family that was overflowing with wealth and honor. Obviously, I will not be able to live as affluent as sister Bella. ¡°Money? Leah, neither of us has ever lived in need of money, so it may sound naive to say this, but as most people say, money is not the most important thing in marriage.¡± ¡°I thought you were worried that I would live a poor life because I married Antoine.¡± ¡°Since you have the dowry you bring, you will never live poor. Beth also married a poor Viscount, but look at the two of them, they¡¯re full of love, aren¡¯t they? They live happier than anyone else.¡± ¡°Then what are you so worried about?¡± ¡°Is Antoine good enough to make you happy?¡± ¡°He is. I told you. He makes me happy.¡± ¡°Can you believe that promise? It is said that a man¡¯s true heart is expressed not in words but in actions. Can you believe everything Antoine showed you were real? Do you think he really loves you?¡± ¡°Sister, I am happy now. Antoine made me happy. He does everything for me.¡± ¡°Leah, what about you? Do you love him too?¡± Love? Well, did I really know what love was then? I liked Antoine¡¯s bright eyes that looked at me, I liked the kind words he gave me, I liked the way he listened to everything I said, and it made me feel good when he was by my side. He treats me so well, of course he loves me, doesn¡¯t he? If his words touch my heart ¨C when he says he will always hug me ¨C doesn¡¯t that mean I¡¯m in love too? I closed my eyes once, then opened them, and said with a confident expression. ¡°Sister, Antoine loves me. And I¡­.., I love everything Antoine does for me. I love the time I spend with him. Isn¡¯t that enough?¡± ¡°Promise me that you will always be happy, Leah.¡± ¡°Antoine is a kind person. I will be happy with him for the rest of my life. Sister, don¡¯t worry. I promise.¡± If I could only say a word here, I would say this: ¡®You shouldn¡¯t make promises carelessly.¡¯ I failed to keep my promise. What did a 17-year-old girl know to make such a promise proudly? I should have noticed when I saw the sincerity of a man who picked up a rose on the spot without even preparing a bunch of roses in advance. G¨¹ell County was not a family that had accumulated so much wealth in the first place. One small estate in the west end was inherited by the eldest son. The only inheritance Antoine received was a small house and orchard field at the edge of the territory. Antoine G¨¹ell was pretty good-looking, but he wasn¡¯t resourceful. He had no skills, no money, no strength, no virtue. All he could do after a long time since cutting ties with his older brother was to go around the streets and bet on gambling and memorize poetry and sing songs. The enormous dowry I brought was all thrown away at gambling within a year of marriage. Even the money to hire workers to work in the orchard fields soon ran out. After that, it was a continuation of a miserable life. ¡°If you brought it from the duke¡¯s family, at least get some more money.¡± But my father, Prince Riverrun, could not give me more money than the dowry. At first, I used to borrow a little from my sisters, but that was only once or twice. Now I have no more face to show for begging. Chapter 5 They say kindness comes from money. Since he had no money, the kindness that I had fallen for at first had long since disappeared. He was ruthless to me as if he had become a completely different person. He listened to what I said half-heartedly and always ignored me, saying, ¡°Shut up!¡± ¡°Why is a b*tch who can¡¯t even get money meddling?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t we sell our remaining estate and go to Riverrun Island? Let¡¯s go there and start over. My father might help us a little if you show him how hard you¡¯ve been trying all this time.¡± ¡°Are you bragging that you¡¯re from a duke¡¯s family? So are you telling me to go all the way there and beg your father?¡± He raged like a madman with all sorts of swear words and threw the furniture all over the house. There are only a few pieces of decent furniture. When there were no more objects left to throw, he shouted and insisted that I should apologize for trampling on his pride. When things go like that, I sit in the middle of a messy room, surrounded by broken furniture. I want to end this fight somehow, so I apologize first. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Sorry? Then go to Riverrun Island by yourself and get some more money.¡± He never apologized afterward. After these fights were repeated, it felt like it was all my fault. It was terrible. This place was hell. Before he was thirty, he had a serious illness and was bedridden. It¡¯s just a small house to say it¡¯s a mansion, so one servant would be enough, but he said, ¡°Why do you need a servant when you¡¯re here?¡± So during his illness, all of the household chores were my responsibility. I, a gray-eyed woman who used to be the daughter of a duke¡¯s family, and a useless wife who offended her husband and brought no money. ¡°You should at least do housework. That is the reason why you were born and live in this world. If not, what is your worth?¡± He always said this. Even after waking up from the bed, Antoine nagged me with his natural cold temperament. Life was only getting harder and harder. When I was crying in my messy house, the Duke of Renal¡¯s family gave us a large sum of money, saying that they would take over our family¡¯s peach orchard. I wondered why the Renal family, which has more than 5,000 pyeong[1] of peach orchards on its vast territory at the southern end, would bother to buy the far-off orchard in the G¨¹ell estate, but anyway, we were able to make a living with the money. If things were a little more stable, I could hire a servant and relieve even a little of my workload. [1] 16.530.000 m2 But it was too big a dream. The money lasted less than half a year. Antoine threw it all to the gambling table. Let alone a servant, now I had to do other people¡¯s housework. ¡°Why? Do you still have any pride left? Are you saying you are from a duke¡¯s family? If you don¡¯t have money, you can get it from your own family.¡± After throwing that much money away, Antoine didn¡¯t even feel sorry. Looking at that nonchalant face, I wanted to kill him and die too. It was my fortieth birthday. In front of my shabby house, in an unmaintained garden, there was a lush rose garden. Where did the 17-year-old man who handed me a rose and said he would always hug me tenderly? The smell of roses disturbed my mind. In June, I remembered the vines of Riverrun on my doorstep, the rose field next to it, the corn field that made a sound of excellence when it swayed in the wind, and the lavender field that stretched endlessly to my home next to it. When I closed my eyes, I felt the scent of lavender, which had been spreading softly that summer, tickled my nose again. I made up my mind and went on my way. After walking for half an hour on the path from the house into the forest, there was also lavender here. There were only a few sparse orchids that were hardly even called a field, but just looking at the pale purple flowers sticking out through the green grass made me feel better. Normally, I don¡¯t have time to come this far to see lavender, but today is my birthday. I don¡¯t have anyone to congratulate me or have a fancy dinner, but I still have flowers that bloom on time every June to celebrate my birthday. It comforts me. After looking at the lavender for a long time, I returned home at sunset. I wanted to pick up a few flowers, but the lavender over there was too precious for that. If it was picked just like that, it might soon disappear. Besides, it will wither soon though. Antoine didn¡¯t even ask where I had been. He probably doesn¡¯t even know that today is my birthday. Even if he knew it, he wouldn¡¯t care. I went into my room and looked in the mirror. My withered face reveals the hardships of life and the hardships of my heart ¨C eyes clouded with sorrow. Who would think of me as one of Riverrun¡¯s seven beautiful sisters? But I couldn¡¯t even blame Antoine. Because it was me who chose him. Maybe it was because I still had a crush on him, or because he was the only person next to me, although it was hard because of Antoine, I wanted to be comforted by him. All of this is a dream, and when I wake up again, won¡¯t Antoine treat me as kindly as when I first met him? So maybe we can start over? I hate that I still have such hopes. I hated myself for wanting to lean on Antoine at times. Chapter 6 ¡°Antoine, I went to see lavender today.¡± Antoine was lying against the wall, not looking at me or answering me. ¡°It was great to see. There were only a few, so I couldn¡¯t pick them. But it¡¯s too far to go to see it every day. Can you bring some seeds to the garden in front of the house if you have time?¡± ¡°No.¡± I added ¡®If you have time¡¯. But is there a time when Antoine, who plays and eats at home, doesn¡¯t have time? Even when I begged like this, Antoine easily said ¡®No¡¯ to me. Nevertheless, I didn¡¯t get tired and spoke with Antoine again. ¡°Antoine, can you give me a hug?¡± It is Antoine who hurt me, but he is the only place I can be comforted. If he hugs me as tenderly as he used to, isn¡¯t there still hope between us? ¡°No.¡± There is no hope. The only word that came out of his mouth was ¡®No.¡¯ ¡°Just give me a hug. I want someone to hug me tight today. That¡¯s all.¡± ¡°Oh, why? It¡¯s annoying.¡± Antoine turned around and replied. ¡°Antoine.¡± He didn¡¯t answer. ¡°Do you know that today is my birthday?¡± ¡°Turn off the lights and go out.¡± I stared at his back for a while then turned off the light and left the room. I went back to my room and had a sleepless night alone. Why is my life like this? Why did I have to live such a lonely and miserable life without warm arms to hold me? Why did I marry that scoundrel? I don¡¯t even shed a tear anymore. ¡®If I could go back, I would never have chosen this kind of marriage.¡¯ I headed back to the forest to see lavender. I can¡¯t sleep anyway. Lavender was waiting for me as beautiful as daytime in the light green forest where I walked while enjoying the morning dew. ¡°I want to go back.¡± I muttered without realizing it. The lavender was silent. Flowers can¡¯t talk. Besides, the flower language of lavender is ¡®silence¡¯. As soon as I thought about it, I laughed. Only in front of lavender, the flower that has no mouth, the most silent flower of all, can I pour out my heart. As I knelt down in the dewy grass, my white linen dress was dyed green. The hazy dawn moon, which has not yet disappeared, illuminated the lavender. Tears flowed nonstop. I looked at the lavender and said aloud again. It was more like a plea. ¡°It was really hard. I worked really hard. I tried, but it didn¡¯t work. Please, please let it all go away.¡± It was then. The dazzlingly strong scent of lavender pierced the tip of my nose. There is no way that there is such a strong scent because only a few flowers bloom. When I wiped away my tears and opened my eyes again, something really strange happened. In front of me was an endless lavender field that I had only seen on Riverrun Island. ¡°Leah, you¡¯ll only ruin your dress if you sit there.¡± It was Isabella¡¯s voice. I jumped up and staggered. ¡°Oh, I told you not to get up like that.¡± ¡°Sister?¡± ¡°Why, Leah? What were you thinking? You¡¯ve been dazed for a while.¡± ¡°Is this really you, sister?¡± ¡°Why, Leah?¡± ¡°Sister, uh, why, I, here is¡ª¡± ¡°Yes? What? Leah, say one thing at a time.¡± My sister laughed softly. But her smiling face looked just as young as when she was twenty. No, she doesn¡¯t look young, she is young. Although I have a pretty older sister, she is now in her fifties. She has a face without a single wrinkle, this is nonsense. Bella¡¯s face now looks just like when she was twenty. ¡°Sister.¡± ¡°Yes? What¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°How old are you now?¡± ¡°Did you forget your sister¡¯s age too? We¡¯re three years apart.¡± ¡°So how old are you?¡± ¡°I am twenty, Leah. Since you are seventeen, add three to it. You hate math, but have you even forgotten basic arithmetic?¡± Leaving my sister, I ran to my room in the east tower. Running couldn¡¯t be this light. My body is not like mine. As soon as I opened the door, I stood in front of the mirror I saw. I no longer see the difficulties of life or the troubles of my heart on my face. Pearly skin, red lips, and smooth, white skin without a single wrinkle. My gray eyes are shining in the sunlight like lavender outside the window. With every deep breath, my white chest goes up and down beneath my dress. My shoulders are straight, and my palms have no calluses. My body also feels light. ¡°Sister, am I seventeen?¡± ¡°Huh? You will be seventeen soon.¡± ¡°Sister, I am seventeen years old!¡± ¡°Leah, are you that happy? Listen, twice in a woman¡¯s life, there are times when many men¡­¡­¡± Did Lavender really grant my wish? Or was it all just a dream of a brief nap in the lavender forest? I returned for the first time. From the birthday of forty to the summer of seventeen. Once again, the summer of seventeen has begun. It was a magical season. Chapter 7 3. Second Life This was not a dream. It was really the beginning of my second life. I was given a second chance. How did this happen? I cried on my fortieth birthday and now I am seventeen again. Everything was the same. Bella¡¯s nagging, and the people in the castle who are busy welcoming guests. In June, three months before my seventeenth birthday, three men came to Riverrun Island again as scheduled. Julien Renal. Phil Rosemond. My ex-husband, Antoine Guell. I gritted my teeth just thinking about him. The Duke of Renal peeled a peach as affectionately as he did in his first life and then ignored me. He¡¯s still handsome and I¡¯m still unlucky. The Count of Rosemond is still the same. With all kinds of gold and silver treasures; emerald, ruby, lapis lazuli, obsidian, and shining jewels that captivate the human eye. The disgusting Antoine G¨¹ell is still the same too. Now that I look at him again, everything that used to look good looks different. The haggard face, the lazy look, the long limbs, the lazy movements, the childish poems, the smell of poverty, and pretending to be friendly. I know that bastard too well. ¡°I have nothing but a rose for you, but if you accept this flower, I will make you happy for the rest of your life.¡± ¡°If you have nothing, you wouldn¡¯t have had the money to travel to Riverrun Island. You don¡¯t even show sincerity to prepare a bunch of roses and you will make me happy? If you propose to me while just picking flowers next to you, do you think I will accept it?¡± ¡°Leah, that¡¯s¡­¡­¡± ¡°Why should I marry someone like you?¡± ¡°I, Antoine G¨¹ell, will make you happy for the rest of your life.¡± ¡°With what? What are you going to do to make me happy?¡± ¡°That¡¯s, um, I will always be kind to you¡ª¡± ¡°You know what, Antoine? It¡¯s all about money. I have more money than you. You are beautiful, but I am more beautiful. Why should I marry someone like you?¡± Antoine hesitated with a bewildered face. I have lived with him for 23 years, and I have seen his true nature. I wanted to tell him that the poetry he reads under my window every night was really childish, but if I did that, he would cry like a child on the spot and yell at me again to apologize, so I kept quiet. I don¡¯t want to see that kind of thing anymore in this life. However, at the age of seventeen this time, I turned down Antoine who proposed to me. Of course, that can¡¯t compensate for the hardships I have been living with him for 23 years. Still, it was like pretty big revenge to me. Just looking at his distorted face made me feel a little more at ease. ¡°If you marry me, all the jewels I have are yours. Will you give me the honor to live with a woman who shines brighter than jewels?¡± The Count of Rosemond also proposed to me with the same lines as in his first life. Pink diamonds glistened in the summer sun. What does this mysterious and dazzling light mean? It¡¯s money. Money! In my first life, I really didn¡¯t know anything. At that time, I liked Antoine¡¯s simple flower more. What happened to me? Life depends on money. Money makes happiness. Kindness comes from money. ¡°What is good for me if I marry you?¡± ¡°I will make you happy forever.¡± ¡°Everyone promises happiness. How are you going to make me happy?¡± ¡°I have enough money to hire people to feed and clothe you for the rest of your life, even if you just lie down and do nothing.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to just lie down and do nothing. And I still have people to feed and clothe me.¡± ¡°I am not interested in the dowry from Riverrun. I only want to get you, I will buy you anything you want. I will always find beautiful jewels for you. I will always value your beauty more than any jewel. I know that some women are more beautiful than jewels.¡± He was still looking at me with hazy eyes, but his heart seemed sincere. Best of all, if I marry the Count of Rosemond, as he said, I will have no hard time. I know once I¡¯ve lived my life that money is everything. The saying is also true; if you have money, you win. If you have plenty of money, your mind will be at peace, so you can naturally become kind. The Count of Rosemond could be as trashy as Antoine. Like Antoine, he may be nice at first and then change. But I don¡¯t love him anyway, so I won¡¯t be offended if he¡¯s not friendly to me. Above all else, he has enormous wealth. There are also incredibly beautiful jewels. Even if I cry, I will cry among the piles of jewels. Even if we fight, he might fight by throwing emeralds and release his anger by tearing the finest velvet. ¡°Okay. I will accept your proposal.¡± In my second life, I married the Count of Rosemond. Chapter 8 Count Rosemond at least didn¡¯t lie. He really treated me like a jewel. He brought other women into our castle. Sadistic sex and orgy parties were rampant in the castle, but he didn¡¯t do that to me. The reason he couldn¡¯t do that to me was that I was his ¡®top jewel¡¯. It¡¯s not right to scratch a jewel. He was afraid I would play with another man. While coveting other women and even bringing them into the castle, he locked me in my room. Like a jewel locked up in a safe. He really made me just lie down and do nothing, as he promised. Not letting me do anything. I couldn¡¯t get a step outside the castle. What do I do in my room every day? I can¡¯t do anything. There¡¯s nothing to do but put on jewelry, try on clothes, and dress up. When I tried to read the book, he took it. When I tried to write in my diary, he also took it. He doesn¡¯t care what I like or where I find joy. To him, I literally am a ¡®jewel¡¯ to be proud of, not a person. I¡¯m just a woman who has to sit pretty and still. Reading and writing letters are also not allowed. For a ¡®jewel¡¯, thoughts and opinions are a luxury. Everyone he hires with his money keeps an eye on me. Life is like hell. He just collected me as if he were collecting precious jewels. I looked happy, but it was all acting. A woman who shines like a jewel sitting next to him at various prom, palace events, and tea parties. A woman who lives in hell but sits gracefully with a smile. Did I have to marry Antoine G¨¹ell like the first time? No, I was very lonely in my marriage to him. Love seemed to sparkle for a moment and then disappeared. Poverty completely ruined my life. So should I be content with my marriage to the Count of Rosemond now? Because I can use the money however I want? Was this really the two men¡¯s fault? I didn¡¯t know until the wedding that the name of Count Rosemond was Phil. It is natural to be unhappy because I married someone I don¡¯t know well. Isn¡¯t this all my fault? It is my fault that I made the wrong choice. How stupid of me to fail at something as important as marriage twice like this? So what choice should I make? Antoine? Rosemond? Or the Duke Julien Renal, who didn¡¯t even look at me? On my fortieth birthday, the Count of Rosemond went on a honeymoon trip with his mistress, Camilla. I knew who he was going with and where he was going, but I pretended not to know and saw him off. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I happened to be on a business trip on your birthday. It¡¯s dangerous, so don¡¯t leave the house.¡± ¡°I heard that sister Bella is in critical condition after giving birth to her third child. I miss her and worry about my nephew and niece. Can¡¯t I visit them for a while?¡± ¡°I told you to stay home.¡± His eyes turned scary. I already knew I couldn¡¯t go anyway. His attendants and servants will keep me stuck in this castle. He hugged me lightly. Then he smiled proudly and kissed me forcefully. The smell of his body that lingers on me is disgusting. I can¡¯t believe it¡¯s a warm hug that I¡¯ve longed for so much in my previous life. Humans are very strange creatures. Even though we are so close like this, I feel like we are infinitely distant. I may look insanely happy, but I am dead inside. Entering the jewel room he had decorated, I looked at the jewels that add up to millions of rubles. He called on the best decorators in the empire to install chandeliers, candlesticks, and antique mahogany furniture to redecorate the castle. The lace maker promised to decorate my dress in the latest fashion with crystal beads and fine chemical lace from the capital. These are all my happy fortieth birthday gifts, but I am not happy. I tried on a new dress. A purple dress that tightly wraps around the waist and spreads below the waist makes my eyes more beautiful. Lavender, which is not produced on this territory, is brought at a high price and grown everywhere. As Bella said, when surrounded by lavender, my eyes seem to shine a little bit purple. It is a dreamlike landscape. Beautiful but sad eyes. My wavy and voluminous hair cannot be this shiny and luscious, unlike in my previous life when I was drenched in poverty. But there¡¯s no man to hug me tenderly. Do we really need kindness? Wouldn¡¯t it be better to live alone? Just once, please, just once, I want to live again. I wasted two golden opportunities by making a rash choice. I mean, I ruined my life with my own hands. If I could go back to when I was seventeen, I would never marry anyone. I was too young to know it then. I thought I had to get married. I only learned that I had to choose a man and get married unconditionally in the magical summer and that there was no other option. Now that I think about it again, there are other options. I just didn¡¯t know at the time. I could have disobeyed my father and rebelled. He wouldn¡¯t kill me, I am his daughter, though. I didn¡¯t have to marry anyone if my heart wanted no one. Please, please, I want to go back. Wearing a beautiful dress that will amaze anyone, I looked in the mirror and silently pleaded. Next to the mirror is an expensive pale blue vase ordered from a southern country. Lavender neatly planted in a pot is long dead. Lavender doesn¡¯t last long in the weather here, and the maids have dried the flower from the beginning and left it in place. Just like Rosemond did to me. Although it is dry lavender, the scent is strong. The dazzlingly strong scent of lavender pierced the tip of my nose again. ¡°You saved me, and you granted my wish, but why am I being so stupid?¡± As always, flowers can¡¯t answer. I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them as I smelled the scent that comforted me in silence. Someone is in front of me. This is not a jewel room. ¡°Leah, what are you doing? Do you sleep standing up?¡± The fresh scent of lavender tickled the tip of my nose. It is in the middle of the lavender forest on Riverrun Island. I sat down and cried. Sister Bella was perplexed. ¡°What¡¯s going on? Leah, what happened?¡± ¡°Sister.¡± ¡°Why are you like this, Leah?¡± ¡°Sister, I was too frivolous.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t cry, Leah. What are you thinking about? Come on, look, talk to your sister.¡± My sister hugged me. She embraced me in her slender arms and patted my back. Yes. Even if it¡¯s not a man, there are many people who will hug me; mother, father, and my dear older sister Isabella. My third life has begun. I made up my mind. ¡°I will never marry again. I will live with my sisters on Riverrun Island for the rest of my life.¡± This time, I will never ruin my life with marriage. Chapter 9 4. Because You Did Not ¡°Tell the suitors not to come.¡± ¡°What are you talking about, Leah?¡± My mother asked. ¡°It would be a waste of time for them to come all the way to the northernmost part of the kingdom. I will never marry any of them anyway.¡± ¡°Is there a young man you have a crush on?¡± ¡°No. There is no such person.¡± ¡°You can tell me. He¡¯s a nobleman, right?¡± ¡°There is no one. Mom, I will not marry anyone. Never. I will live alone for the rest of my life.¡± My mother, knowing my volatile personality, kicked her tongue slightly, and she put on a ¡®You will change your mind later¡¯ expression on her face. My father, the great and wise Prince of Riverrun, who had no interest in his seven children, and could not bear to death even the slightest of their children disobeying his will, heard the news and ran wildly over here. ¡°Don¡¯t ever talk about it again!¡± Those are the words he said to my mother, not his subordinates. It was a commanding tone as usual. He muttered, ¡°How did you raise her?!¡± then got up from his seat and walked out. ¡°Leah, you¡¯re making your father angry again. Stop talking nonsense.¡± ¡°Is mother my only parent? I am the daughter of my mother and father. ¡®How did you raise her?¡¯ Is that what a husband says to his wife? Why is he blaming mom? I really don¡¯t understand father.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be loud, Leah Riverrun! What are you going to do if Prince Riverrun hears that?¡± It¡¯s a bit pitiful to see my mother keep turning to see if my father is back. Like my first life, or my second life. My mother has the sad eyes of a woman in an unhappy marriage. Indeed, it is very pathetic to see myself not saying a word to my father but only yelling at my mother. No, no matter how frightening my father may be, I have to make my voice louder this time. Once again, I made up my mind. ¡°No matter what my father says, I will never marry.¡± Some of the older sisters said, ¡°Leah, do whatever you want.¡± Some of my brothers looked at me with worried eyes. They are worried that their father¡¯s anger will spread to them for no reason. Sister Isabella declared that she would support me, saying, ¡°If you don¡¯t want to, you don¡¯t have to do it.¡± My father won¡¯t be able to help it. Bella is not Isabella Riverrun anymore. She¡¯s the Duchess Isabella Orle. From my father¡¯s point of view, who thinks women belong to men, Bella is no longer his. My father can¡¯t argue with Bella. That¡¯s funny. Time passed peacefully on Riverrun Island, regardless of my firm declaration which made the castle a bit noisy. In the first week of June, three men arrived on our island as scheduled. Two of my ex-husbands, Antoine G¨¹ell and Count Rosemond. And Duke Julien Renal, who had been ignoring me all my two lives. Three people are like a sign that my third life will also flow in the same way. The three repeat the same action again. Antoine, the poor bastard, again began to recite all sorts of poems under the window of my room. Phil Rosemond, the obsessive guy, called me ¡®my jewel¡¯ again. Julien Renal is the same. As always, he is dazzlingly handsome. But he won¡¯t be interested in me again this time. In the first week, as always, he gave me a large, coveted peach from his territory. ¡°Do peaches grow on Riverrun Island?¡± ¡°No. But I have tried Renal¡¯s peaches,¡± I replied. Duke Julien Renal looked at me curiously and asked, ¡°Have you tried it?¡± ¡°Yes. It was very sweet and delicious. It melted in my mouth.¡± ¡°Renal¡¯s peaches don¡¯t go outside of Renal, have you ever come to my territory?¡± ¡°No. You brought it, Duke.¡± In my first life and in my second life. ¡°Sorry?¡± A bewildered look appeared on Julien Renal¡¯s face. In my third life, everything is annoying now. I just want to say whatever I want. At this rate, I¡¯m sure the Duke will see me as a completely crazy woman. Well, we won¡¯t see each other again anyway. ¡°Just kidding. It¡¯s my first time trying it. I heard that Renal¡¯s peaches are so soft that you can¡¯t cut them with a knife. Would you like to peel the peach yourself then?¡± Julien Renal stared at me for a moment, maybe wondering how I knew it, then shrugged and walked away. As always, he opens the door to the garden again. The gesture that opens the door, the striding footsteps, everything is elegant and wonderful. The way he carefully washes his large hands is also too erotic to be seen alone. As he washes his hands with his head down under the shade of the willow tree near the garden sink, his straight spine and hard muscles under the light shirt can be seen. He is a picturesque man. But what¡¯s the point? He¡¯ll be the same. Marrying him would be the worst. While I¡¯m thinking about this, Julien Renal comes back inside and peels the peach with clean hands. The juice gets on his hands and becomes sticky. ¡°Your hands are getting dirty,¡± I said. ¡°You asked me to peel it.¡± Julien Renal spoke slightly sullenly but has a smile on his lips. Watching him working hard peeling the peach skin, I get the illusion that he must be a very kind person. Even though I know that soon he will be cold to me. Juice dripped down his wrist bones, and he raised his hands as if uncomfortable. ¡°Give it to me.¡± I grab his arm and quickly fold up his clothes a couple of times to keep his sleeves from getting wet. Julien is so startled that he doesn¡¯t even move. Like a broken doll. It seems that he was surprised that a young aristocratic lady came forward and touched a man¡¯s body first. Let me surprise you more. I lightly lick the peach juice flowing down his wrist bone with my tongue. Chapter 10 ¡°It¡¯s sweet.¡± ¡°Leah, what are you doing?¡± ¡°It¡¯s delicious. The peach.¡± His face turned red as he looked at me. He called my name with a half-smile face. ¡°Leah.¡± ¡°I never said you could call me by name.¡± ¡°Yes, you did. Sorry for calling you by name. I apologize.¡± The way he apologized without hesitation was also cute. He seems a bit different from my prejudice. When a person is really good-looking, they look a bit cold. Besides, Julien Renal completely ignored my existence during my two lives. I had been thinking all along that he would be reticent, cold, disingenuous, and blunt. But even if we talk for a moment like this, I know that he is not that kind of person. He is polite and well-mannered. He is easily surprised and shy, but he¡¯s not the type of person who gets angry at the pranks that come his way. I like the way he happily accepts it and smiles willingly. Instead of getting angry with me even if I shot back sharply for no reason, he admitted his fault and apologized right away. It is a virtue that is hard to have as a person of higher status. ¡°There¡¯s no need to be sorry.¡± I said calmly. ¡°It¡¯s late, but I¡¯ll ask. May I call you Leah?¡± He smiled again and asked. ¡°If you like it, do it. It¡¯s better than ¡®my jewel¡¯.¡± He frowned slightly as if trying to hold back his laughter. It was a cute frown. That expression made his face even more beautiful. ¡°You¡¯re handsome, by the way.¡± ¡°Sorry?¡± ¡°You are handsome, Duke Renal.¡± ¡°You are beautiful too, Leah. However¡­¡­¡± ¡°Duke, you can¡¯t add ¡®however¡¯ after ¡®beautiful¡¯.¡± He burst into laughter. I feel a little proud of myself for making a man, who had not spoken to me a few words in two lives, laugh. ¡°Am I funny?¡± ¡°Rather than funny¡ª¡± Those deep eyes that look at my face have an unknown love or sorrow. ¡°I am more cute than funny, right?¡± Julien Renal burst into laughter once again when I responded like that. ¡°Am I right?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Do you think I am cute?¡± ¡°You are a very candid person, you know.¡± ¡°Do you hate honest people?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no reason to hate it. However, I¡¯ve heard something.¡± Having said that, he smiled and took a light breath. With such a beautiful appearance, I wonder if even the breath he exhaled will be fragrant. While I was mesmerized by his beauty, he opened his mouth. ¡°You¡¯re not going to get married.¡± ¡°Did it even reach the Duke¡¯s ears?¡± What does my saying that I¡¯m not going to get married have to do with Julien Renal talking to me with a strange look on his face like now? As if he had read my curiosity, he said, ¡°There was a lot of talk about that in the castle. After all, am I not one of your suitors? Of course I know. I just added ¡®however¡¯ because I was wondering if you were being so candid as to try to break my will to propose.¡± I complained, ¡°You¡¯re not going to ask me out anyway, so what kind of a suitor are you?¡± Hearing my muttering, Julien Renal asked again, ¡°I beg your pardon?¡± ¡°Nevermind.¡± ¡°I thought you were a person who said everything that comes to mind, but there are words you can¡¯t say.¡± ¡°Yes, you thought I was just cute, but I¡¯m also thoughtful, right?¡± Julien Renal smiled slightly. Then he asked politely again. ¡°May I ask why you made the decision not to get married?¡± ¡°Duke Renal.¡± ¡°Call me Julien.¡± ¡°Julien, I did not say that to prevent you from thinking about marrying me.¡± ¡°Did you realize that you were just saying random things?¡± This time I laughed. ¡°Sure. You¡¯ve probably met a lot of people, but noble girls don¡¯t usually say that, do they?¡± I shrugged. He looked at me warmly as if he were looking at his sister. ¡°Whatever you say, probably no one is going to miss the opportunity to propose to you.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t even put saliva in your mouth[1], and you¡¯re talking like that. After all, the Duke has no desire to propose to me.¡± [1] Speaking without any hesitation. Hearing my words, Julien frowned as if in doubt. ¡°How can you be so sure?¡± ¡°I can assure you.¡± He might not like my flat answer, but he smiled again, shining deep eyes without showing any signs of displeasure. He smiled generously and spoke to me as if he were talking to a child. ¡°Leah, you are beautiful and¡ª¡± ¡°Cute.¡± With a smile on his face, he continued. ¡°Yeah, so cute¡­¡­ you¡¯re also witty and honest. If you get close to someone, it is only natural that they will fall in love with you soon. But why are you so sure that I won¡¯t propose to you?¡± ¡°Because you didn¡¯t.¡± ¡°Sorry?¡± ¡°You¡¯ve never done it before, a proposal.¡± ¡°What didn¡¯t I do?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t blame the Duke for that. And the Duke has never actually had any interaction with me that would make me fall in love. I won¡¯t be able to chat with the Duke anymore after today, no, after you peeled the peach. You will avoid me. I don¡¯t know why.¡± ¡°Leah, you are a special person. You speak as if the future and the past were jumbled up.¡± Julien was no longer frowning. He didn¡¯t even look puzzled. He was rather looking at me with a very interesting expression. Just like someone who knows what I¡¯m talking about. Now it was my turn to live up to his expectations. ¡°Julien, do you want me to tell you something interesting?¡±