ã€ŠToo Consumed (Consumed #2)ã€‹


 Page 1

    Chapter One

    SethAdvertisement

    (T-minus one week until Las Vegas)

    She bounces before me, her tits rising that little bit higher every time she pushes off the ground. It turns out, Olivia is very competitive. Jackson had bet her a hundred dollars she couldn¡¯t land a hit on me. Determined to prove him wrong, she dons a pair of gloves and climbs into the boxing ring with me. Her gorgeous green eyes flare at me from underneath her thick, dark eyelashes and she smiles playfully before pouncing at me. Swiftly, I step out of the way and tap her shoulder. She whips around to face me and her dark hair follows suit, whirling around her sexily before gliding across the top of her breasts. I drag my gaze from her chest to her face. Olivia¡¯s playful expression is now pinched in frustration. She actually thought this would be easy¡­Jackson and Darryl laugh on the sidelines, pissing her off even more.

    ¡°You underestimate me.¡± I chuckle at her, bringing back her smile.

    God, I love making her smile.

    She pounces at me again and I sidestep, like last time and I keep my fists up even though I don¡¯t intend to use them on her.

    ¡°Are you running from me, Seth?¡± she teases, trying to get a reaction out of me. ¡°Are you scared I¡¯ll hurt you?¡±

    I can¡¯t stop the laugh that rumbles through my chest. ¡°I¡¯m terrified.¡±

    She arches an eyebrow.

    ¡°I¡¯m terrified you¡¯ll hurt yourself in an attempt to hurt me.¡±

    Olivia shakes her head, narrowing her eyes. She lunges forward, sending a very nice jab to my mid-section, but I flick my hips backward and her fist doesn¡¯t connect. She has me on the back foot now and she smiles as she springs forward. I hear Jackson swear under his breath, but I¡¯m not sweating it. He isn¡¯t going to lose a cent to Olivia and if she¡¯s not careful, she¡¯s going to get me in full force the second we¡¯re out of this ring. I wrap my arms around hers, pinning them to her side and I smile down at her as her tiny body struggles against me.

    I feel my cock twitch and I try to calm myself by keeping my eyes on her face and not on the voluptuous mounds that press firmly against my chest. I don¡¯t know how she does it, but when I¡¯m around her it¡¯s like I¡¯m an out of control teenager who¡¯s never had sex with a girl before.

    ¡°That¡¯s not fair.¡± She growls, dropping her head against my chest and relaxing her body.

    Jackson pulls on the thick ropes of the ring, whooping and cheering as I bury my nose in her hair and kiss her head.

    ¡°Maybe next time,¡± I tell her, letting her go.

    ¡°Maybe.¡± She steps back and holds her gloves out to me. ¡°Can you help me out of these?¡±

    Those seven words stir something wild inside of me¡ªand I have no idea why. I narrow it down to the fact it¡¯s been a while since we¡¯ve had sex, thanks to Darryl and his rules. I don¡¯t think I can take another minute without putting my hands on her¡­or in her.

    I glide my tongue across my bottom lip to moistening it, and Olivia watches closely. The sudden pink hue in her cheeks doesn¡¯t pass me by and I know she wants me as bad as I want her. I tug at the tape on my hands and un-wrap them with ease as Jackson and Darryl leave the boxing section and enter the training room, ready to start the rest of my training session. I¡¯m not going in there just yet. I¡¯m taking my girl to the shower and I¡¯m going to take care of her. I look at O, and her eyes lock onto mine as I pull on her gloves, freeing her hands. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth and inches closer, looking up at me through dark lashes. She¡¯s all but begging me to take her.

    I tug her hand and pull her over to the edge of the ring. I stretch open the ropes, allowing her to slip through with ease and I follow closely behind her.

    ¡°Seth? Where are you going?¡± Darryl calls after me and I smile at him over my shoulder.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be out in a minute.¡±

    He swears under his breath. ¡°I put rules in place to help you, not me.¡±

    Olivia glances over her shoulder at me and I nod for her to keep walking.

    Despite Darryl¡¯s protest, I follow her to the female shower room. Inside, we enter a stall and lock it behind us. When we¡¯re alone in the gym, we shower in the open, but when there are other people around we shower in the stalls¡ªeven if it¡¯s only Jackson and Darryl outside. I like that most about Olivia. She respects herself and me. The girls I¡¯m normally around were usually quick to flash their tits to anyone that walked by, but not my Olivia.

    She¡¯s first to shed her clothing and I watch closely as she pulls her sports bra over her head, exposing her hard, pink nipples. It takes all of my strength to remain leaning against the wall and not to descend hungrily upon her, taking her hard, alluring peaks in my mouth. My gaze drops from her breasts to her hips as her fingers curl around her tiny, black shorts. I watch as she drags them down her long legs. My stare flits over her body, unsure what to focus on first. I enjoy all of it¡ªevery pore, every hair follicle and freckle. It¡¯s mine.

    She reaches for the cold tap and turns on the shower. Her entire body tenses as she stands directly under the cool stream.

    ¡°You¡¯re having a cold shower?¡± I ask, unable to hold the snicker.

    She shudders, letting the cold streams run down her body and making my blood burn.

    ¡°Well, yeah, how else am I going to make it through the day?¡±

    Goosebumps erupt over the surface of her skin, forcing her nipples to pebble. Ready to join her, I roughly tug my pants down and immediately I see her eyes drop to my length. I¡¯m so hard it aches all over, but I don¡¯t attempt to hide it from her. Her eyes flick to mine as she reaches for the shower handle and nudges it, making it that extra degree colder.

    It¡¯s pointless for me to have a shower now, when I get out I¡¯ll have to start my other half of training, but I want to please her¡ªto satisfy her¡ªbefore she leaves here today. I saunter over to her and even over the roar of the shower I hear her breath catch in her throat. She trembles ever so slightly as I reach around her, inching the shower hotter and hotter, until steam begins to fill the stall around us. I want her hot and flustered. I want her to beg me to fuck her and to make her come. I lean in close, pressing every inch of my body against hers until her back is pressed firmly against the cold concrete. I lower my mouth to her neck, licking her slowly.

    ¡°Please, Seth,¡± she moans in my ear.

    Fucking hell.

    I pull back to look her in the eyes and rest my forehead against hers. Water streams over our heads, trailing down our skin and flowing off the sharp edges of our faces. Her green irises burn at me from underneath her dark lashes and they¡¯re begging me to devour her as her hands glide up the ridges of my arms and over my shoulders before stopping around my neck. Slowly, she moves her mouth toward mine and when her supple, pink lips press against me, I lose it. I need to have her and no rules are going to stop me. I force my tongue between her lips and she willingly opens her mouth. She roughly rakes her fingers through my hair, urging me harder against her and I slide my hands down the curve of her hips, gripping her bare ass. She moans into my mouth as she hitches a delicious thigh around my hip. My cock presses eagerly against her warm, slick slit and there¡¯s no way I¡¯m going to stop now.

    ¡°Do it,¡± she gasps against my lips, flexing her hips toward me. ¡°Please, just do it.¡±

    ¡°You want it?¡± I ask her, smiling. ¡°You want to feel me inside you?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± she breathes, catching my lip between her teeth. ¡°Now.¡±

    I reach down and position myself right where I want to be and I enter her slowly, knowing that if I go too fast this will all be over before it even begins. She feels so good¡ªbeyond good¡ªand a low, guttural moan releases itself from my throat. I feel the walls of her soft pussy squeeze the very tip of my cock and it pulses in response. It¡¯s been too long since I¡¯ve indulged in her.

    ¡°Seth?¡± A familiar deep voice echoes around the room and Olivia releases my lip as her body goes rigid.

    I shut my eyes briefly, begging God¡ªor whoever the fuck was listening¡ªto make Darryl go away.

    ¡°There¡¯s an MMAC promoter here. He wants to talk to the owner and the manager of the gym about advertising.¡± Darryl calls over the roar of the shower and Olivia bites her bottom lip against a giggle as a pink hue flashes across her cheeks. ¡°So both of you animals need to put some clothes on and get out here.¡±

    With a heavy exhale I reach around her, turning the hot tap off and submerging us both in cold water. The water connects with my flesh and Olivia and I jump, pressing ourselves harder against each other as the water washes our heated session down the drain, taking my erection with it. Well, it was fun while it lasted. A wide smile spreads over Olivia¡¯s lips and her hands shoot up to cover it as giggles erupt from her. I guess we¡¯re going to have to wait.

    We emerge from the shower room, our fingers tightly laced together and when we enter the main room, Darryl gives us a quick once over with a small shake of his head. Olivia¡¯s fingers tighten around mine and I glance down at her. She looks up at me briefly, flashing me an uneasy, embarrassed smile. In response, I give her my best ¡®we didn¡¯t do anything wrong¡¯ smile and she nods ever so slightly. Fuck Darryl for making her feel so uncomfortable.

    ¡°Seth Marc?¡±

    My gaze falls onto the tall guy in the suit who called my name. He quickly moves toward us, giving Olivia an overt twice over that makes me clench my jaw. He reminds me of Mason¡ªblue eyes, golden hair, and clearly interested in my girl. The man extends his hand to me and I reluctantly pull away from Olivia to shake it.

    ¡°I¡¯m Mike Sullivan. It¡¯s nice to finally meet you, Seth.¡±

    When he¡¯s finished with me, he moves on to Olivia.

    ¡°You must be Miss James.¡± He greets her, pulling her hand into his and giving it a long, slow shake.

    My eyes flick onto Darryl, who¡¯s regarding me with clear warning in his eyes and I frown at him. He needs to relax. I¡¯m not going to hurt this guy for shaking Olivia¡¯s hand, but if he looks at her like that again I can¡¯t make any guarantees.

    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you,¡± he says, dropping her hand. ¡°I wanted to talk to you both about your advertising campaign. Now, I know this gym is Seth Marc¡¯s official gym, but the MMAC wants the whole world to know that. Outside in the truck I have one billboard, two banners, six life-sized cut outs, and hundreds of flyers. All I need from you two is a signature and we¡¯ll start setting it all up today.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think Seth needs big pictures of himself everywhere.¡± Jackson snickers, strolling over from the training room.

    Beside me, Olivia laughs once. ¡°Jackson¡¯s right,¡± she says, lacing her fingers with mine again. ¡°Seth¡¯s ego is high enough.¡±

    I roll my eyes as everyone chuckles at my expense. I don¡¯t have a high ego. I¡¯m just confident. I know what I want and how to get it, that¡¯s all. Sue me. Mike hands Olivia a clipboard and a pen and she signs it. I do the same, and Mike exits the gym to tell the guys to bring in the stuff.

    Olivia turns to me. ¡°I have to go help Mom with a few things around the house, but I¡¯ll see you tomorrow?¡±

    She seems almost disappointed and I smile. She hates leaving me for entire nights at a time, but we made the decision to not sleep at each other¡¯s houses¡­fucking Darryl.

    ¡°Definitely.¡±

    She glances sideways at Darryl and then back at me before reaching up and planting a soft kiss on my cheek. My eyes narrow as she turns away. What the fuck was that? If I¡¯m not seeing her until tomorrow there¡¯s no way she¡¯s getting away with a pussy kiss like that one. If I¡¯m going to stay away, I need a kiss that will keep me sated. I snatch at her, my fingers wrapping around her tiny elbow, and I force her back to me. She doesn¡¯t have time to react before I slam my mouth against hers. Instantly, she melts against me, running her hands around my neck and into the base of my hair. I lick her lip and with a small smile, she opens her mouth to me. Blood rushes to my head as her tongue slides against mine, massaging me with confidence, like no one is watching. Keeping in mind that people are in fact watching, I pull away with the smallest nip to her bottom lip and lean into her ear.

    ¡°If you need me later, call me.¡±

    Her hands slide down my neck and across my chest before gliding up and down my arms. Her touch electrifies me¡­the things I would do right now if no one was watching.

    ¡°I always need you,¡± she replies, her voice barely a whisper. ¡°But we¡¯re doing this for Darryl.¡±

    She kisses my cheek and turns away from me. I place my hands on my hips and unashamedly watch her back, her ass, and her legs as she walks away. She¡¯s mine¡­and I can¡¯t even have her.

    Mike comes back through the door as Olivia exits and he glances over his shoulder at her ass for a second too long. I¡¯ve never been jealous before, but there¡¯s no doubt in my mind that the possessive anger twisting deep in my chest is exactly that. I step forward, but Darryl¡¯s voice stops me in my tracks.

    ¡°Seth, don¡¯t.¡±

    Mike approaches me, oblivious to my aggressive stance and I clench my jaw. There¡¯s a small smile on his lips and I want to smash it through his skull. I imagine smacking him around a little bit, until he¡¯s crying and begging me to leave him alone. And then I¡¯ll hit him some more.

    ¡°Do you like to box, Mike?¡± I ask, my fingers flexing involuntarily at my sides.

    Beside me, I hear Jackson chuckle and swear under his breath.

    Mike glances awkwardly around the gym and his Adam¡¯s apple bobbles up and down as he swallows hard. ¡°Uh, sure. When I have time.¡±

 Page 2

    My lips twitch as he gives me the exact answer I want. ¡°Do you want to spar with me?¡±Advertisement

    ¡°Seth,¡± Darryl warns me again, but I pretend I don¡¯t hear him. There¡¯s no harm in a little friendly sparring, right?

    Mike checks his watch. ¡°Uh, I guess we have a little time.¡±

    I pivot on my heel and saunter over to the ring, trying my hardest not to appear too eager to box this fucking guy into the ground.

    ¡°Seth, you have a full half of training to get through and you¡¯ve already sparred today,¡± Darryl says, following closely behind me.

    I ignore him again. He isn¡¯t going to talk me out of this. I¡¯ll only hit him twice¡ªonce for giving Olivia a creepy twice over right in front of me and once for shamelessly looking at her ass, again right in front of me.

    Mike sheds his jacket and Jackson helps him into a pair of gloves. I grab my own gloves and slip them on as Darryl leans into me.

    ¡°Seth, you¡¯re wasting energy. Who cares if he looked at your girl, she¡¯s beautiful, it¡¯s going to happen,¡± he says, his voice hushed so Mike doesn¡¯t hear.

    ¡°I know that,¡± I reply. ¡°But if someone is going to look at my girl while I¡¯m holding her hand and he can clearly see she¡¯s mine, then there are consequences.¡± To me, disrespect doesn¡¯t come any clearer than that.

    ¡°Do you hear yourself? You sound crazy.¡±

    I laugh once. Sometimes I wonder if Darryl knows me at all. ¡°I am crazy, Darryl. Now, you either let me smack this guy or I¡¯m going home to Olivia to break your rule six times in a row.¡±

    His thick, dark eyebrows rise to his hairline. ¡°Six times? Really, Seth?¡± Darryl pinches his thin nose. ¡°You¡¯re a piece of work, you know that?¡±

    ¡°You love it.¡± I smile, sliding into the ring.

    ¡°Two hits. That¡¯s it.¡±

    I nod and he hands me my head gear, but I don¡¯t take it. This guy won¡¯t get a hit on me.

    ¡°Wear your gear,¡± Darryl demands, but I shake my head.

    I shrug him off. ¡°Don¡¯t need it.¡±

    He swears under his breath, dropping the head gear and mouth guard before storming away. Poor Darryl, he¡¯s always putting up with my shit. I bring my attention to the ring and watch as Jackson holds open the ropes while Mike climbs in. He has his full gear on and I smile because he¡¯s definitely going to need it. I put my fists up and he follows suit. I¡¯ve never seen a more unintimidating opponent in my life.

    I take my steps slow, inching closer to him and analyzing his face. His blue eyes are narrowed in on me, determined to get at least one hit. Abruptly, I launch forward, catching him off-guard and slamming my gloved fist into his stomach. Air flies from his lungs and he hunches over with a loud grunt. I step back, giving him time to catch his breath. His face turns red as he struggles to refill his lungs and I smile. I actually fucking smile at his pain. Jackson is on the sideline laughing his ass off and slapping the ring with the palms of his hands. Jackson loves this because he¡¯d do the exact same thing for Selena¡ªhell¡ªJackson would have punched Mike¡¯s teeth through his head if his eyes lingered on his girl¡¯s face for a second too long. He¡¯s protective¡ªborderline controlling¡ªand that¡¯s not just in general, but when it comes to sex as well. I¡¯ve seen his bedroom, the weird straps and chains and whips¡­it scares the shit out of me. I¡¯m all for taking control in the bedroom and getting what I want, but Jackson¡­he needs it. If he isn¡¯t in control he can¡¯t handle it and he can¡¯t finish.

    Mike straightens his posture and brings his fists back up to his face. ¡°I didn¡¯t see that coming¡­¡± He groans.

    That was the point. I smile, lurching forward again. I swing my fist and it connects with the side of his face. With a grunt, his head is tossed to the side and he falls flat on his ass. Well¡­ that was quicker than I expected. I pull my gloves off and toss them across the ring. Despite my disgust with Mike, I extend my hand and help him to his feet. I¡¯m not a total asshole. He cringes, shaking his head and clasping his stomach.

    ¡°I guess this is the reason why I¡¯m on the promoting side of the MMAC,¡± he jokes with a nervous chuckle.

    ¡°Yep.¡± I drop his hand and turn from him. For a second, I wish he was a fighter. Then I could go against him and punish him to my full potential. He¡¯s lucky I hit him with my full-pad gloves on.

    I slip from the ring, letting Mike gather his broken pride in peace. Then he needed to get back to work so he can finish quickly and get the hell out of my gym. I can¡¯t promise I¡¯ll go so easy on him next time.

    Chapter Two

    Olivia

    (T-minus six days until Las Vegas)

    I tap my fingers along my arm, waiting for my alarm to go off. I¡¯ve been up for a while, and if I¡¯m being honest, I don¡¯t think I had much sleep last night. Since the gym with Seth (more specifically, the shower room), my brain and my body have been conspiring against me. My brain refuses to dish out any rational thoughts or responses and the only thing I¡¯ve managed to think about is Seth¡¯s hard body and hard¡­everything else. As for my body, I can¡¯t keep still. It constantly has me moving and squirming, working with the less-than-wholesome thoughts my brain comes up with. My alarm blares its annoying beep and I roll over and slapping the stop button.

    Can girls get blue balls? I roll my eyes at myself, there I go again. In a huff, I sit up and push the blanket down my legs. I rake my fingers through my hair and then over my face. Seth told me to call him if I need him (and boy, do I need him) but I can¡¯t, for Darryl¡¯s sake. Darryl wants one last shot at training Seth his way before the MMAC officials start dictating the way he trains Seth. I don¡¯t want to be the one to take that away from him. Besides, it¡¯s only three more weeks until his fight and then Seth and I can do whatever the hell we want to each other. Oh, the endless possibilities. Vividly in my mind, I run my tongue up his chest, feeling all of his muscles tremble beneath my mouth. A soft knock taps on my bedroom door, startling me from my thoughts. I shake my head. I barely made it two seconds before I started thinking about him again. I slide from my bed and stretch my hands up to the ceiling, arching my back like a cat.

    ¡°Come in.¡± I yawn, dropping my arms and pulling my tiny shirt down.

    It does nothing to really cover my belly button and if I lift my arms any higher, I¡¯m sure the bottoms of my breasts will pop out. Mom¡¯s face peers around the edge of my door and she smiles warmly at me. ¡°I made breakfast.¡±

    As she finishes her sentence, the delightful smell of butter and fresh toast filters into my nostrils, making my stomach grumble. I smile back at her.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±

    Mom is slowly coming back to herself. After the unexpected death of my father eight weeks ago, things got pretty hectic with Mom. With every passing day she began to break¡ªjust a chip at a time¡ªuntil she emotionally broke down. For her, I moved back in. The thought of her alone in the family home with all of the photos and memories of her dead husband crushed me. It isn¡¯t all selfless; moving back in also helped Seth keep his hands off me, although there¡¯s been more than one occasion where he¡¯s forced himself on me with my mother in the next room.

    ¡°I¡¯ll make my bed and be right out.¡±

    With a swift nod, she closes the door. I pull my hair over one shoulder and tap my index finger on my bare hip as I glance around the room. Maybe today is the day I take all of my things out of their boxes. All of my big items, like my fridge, bed, and couches are currently sitting in a storage shed somewhere, but everything else is packed in boxes and stacked in this room. There¡¯s no space for anything and I have no idea where to start. I exhale and shrug my shoulders. I¡¯ll deal with the boxes tomorrow, I think for the fifth consecutive day in a row.

    I stroll from my room, enjoying the feel of the cool tiles on the base of my warm feet as I enter the dining room and drop into a chair. Mom definitely went overboard this morning¡ªfruit salad, yogurt, toast with melted butter, pancakes, and various cereals.

    ¡°Expecting company?¡± I ask, reaching for a bowl.

    ¡°No, but I figured we could take our time and chat, you know, like we used to when you were younger.¡±

    Although I have things to do, I scoop fruit salad into my bowl anyway. ¡°Sounds good.¡±

    A wide smile curls her lips and she pulls two pieces of buttered toast onto her plate.

    ¡°So, how are things with the gym?¡±

    I almost flinch. Mom never talks about the gym, in fact, whenever Seth and I discuss it, she leaves the room.

    ¡°Good,¡± I say cautiously. ¡°They¡¯re putting Seth¡¯s billboards up today.¡±

    ¡°And how are things with him?¡±

    I put a piece of fresh, juicy apple in my mouth. ¡°Great. He¡¯s training for his first pro fight in Vegas.¡±

    As I finish my sentence, there¡¯s a knock at the front door and Mom rises to her feet.

    ¡°I hope that¡¯s the delivery man with the new set of curtains I ordered online. They were meant to be here two days ago.¡±

    She disappears around the corner and I hear the front door open. The deep voice that rumbles through the house and sticks to me like humid air on a hot summer¡¯s night is definitely not the voice of a delivery man, but the voice of the man that has kept me sexually frustrated for the past few weeks. Mom comes back into the kitchen and sure enough, Seth is trailing behind her. I abruptly close my lips around a slice of mango to stop from gasping out loud. He still has that affect on me¡­Seth has one of those faces that make your heart stutter and stop before picking up speed at an erratic pace. His gaze falls onto me and then drops to my tiny shirt. He flicks the thin toothpick over his bottom lip before they curl into a lopsided smirk and I subtly cross my arms over my chest as my nipples harden. Suddenly, I feel very exposed in my short top and tiny satin shorts.

    ¡°Look who has joined us for breakfast,¡± Mom deadpans.

    She¡¯s never happy with Seth¡¯s random appearances, even when he brings her flowers on Saturdays.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about her,¡± I tell him, laughing. ¡°She¡¯s just upset you¡¯re not a pair of curtains.¡±

    Seth chuckles as he lowers himself into the seat next to me.

    ¡°Are you hungry, Seth?¡± Mom asks. ¡°I¡¯ve made more than enough food.¡±

    Seth¡¯s eyes scan the table and I know he¡¯s fighting the urge to respond with an obvious, smart ass comment. Instead of antagonizing my mom this early in the morning, Seth removes his toothpick and says. ¡°A little more fruit wouldn¡¯t hurt.¡±

    I slide my bowl over to Seth and grab another one, filling it with fruit for myself. The kettle clicks in the kitchen and Mom turns her back to us to prepare a coffee. The moment her back is turned, I feel Seth¡¯s rough hand on my inner thigh sliding higher and higher until the very tips of his fingers brush against my warm center. White-hot arousal surges through me and I almost choke on my mango. Mom glances over her shoulder, but Seth doesn¡¯t remove his hand as he brings a glass of water to his mouth and I hear him quietly chuckle into his glass.

    ¡°Chew your fruit, Olivia,¡± she tells me, turning back to her coffee.

    Seth¡¯s finger curls around the hem of my shorts and stops abruptly when he realizes I¡¯m not wearing underwear. He lowers his glass.

    Crap.

    The boxes in my room have blocked my underwear drawer and I used my last pair of available clean ones yesterday. Truth be told, when I decided to skip on underwear last night after my shower, I wasn¡¯t expecting Seth to show up at breakfast and try to stroke me while my mother¡¯s back is turned. I glance sideways at Seth and he¡¯s staring at me, his eyes thinned into lusty slits. His tongue flicks out to moisten his bottom lip and I find myself staring at it, watching it closely. If I could just feel that tongue between my legs for five minutes¡ª

    ¡°What are your plans today?¡± he asks me, his eyes flaring.

    I look at his eyes. Fuck. I wasn¡¯t planning on seeing Seth until late this afternoon so I made plans to go down to Mason¡¯s office to pick up my last paycheck from months ago.

    ¡°Uh¡­¡± I drop my sight to my bowl and shovel fruit into my mouth. Seth grows weary as I chew and swallow, buying myself more time. ¡°I was planning on going down to Mason¡¯s office and picking up a few of my things.¡± I tell him like it¡¯s no big deal.

    Seth frowns, taking his hand away from me and I feel strangely bare without his fingers there. ¡°A few of your things?¡±

    I swallow hard, hoping it doesn¡¯t betray the anxious feeling I have inside. ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve been ignoring him for the last eight weeks, just like you wanted me to, but I need my last paycheck and there¡¯s a photo of Dad I had on my desk that I would like back.¡±

    Mom glances over her shoulder at us, eavesdropping. I really don¡¯t want to have this conversation around her. I know how Seth feels about Mason. We¡¯ve had this discussion a million times before, and according to him, he isn¡¯t worried I¡¯ll sleep with Mason, he¡¯s worried Mason will sleep with me¡ªlike that makes any sense. I slide my chair back.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to get dressed, Mom, and then I¡¯ll come back and have some more food.¡±

    I slip past Seth, and as I stroll up the hallway, I hear his chair screech against the floor. I squeeze my eyes shut briefly. Here we go. I enter my room and Seth follows closely behind, shutting the door behind him. I walk straight over to my drawers and pull out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt while he pushes my boxes aside and searches in the mess of fabrics for a pair of underwear and a bra.

    I wait patiently as he pushes past all of my lacy pretties and eventually throws me a black, cotton pair of underwear. I try not to smile at the fact that he chose the least revealing pair of underwear that I own.

 Page 3

    Fucking Seth.Advertisement

    He leans against the wall, his leg bent at the knee and watches as I clip my bra around my stomach and pull my shirt off over my head. I quickly pull the bra up and slip my arms under the straps, adjusting it so it sits comfortably.

    ¡°Do you want me to come with you?¡± he asks.

    ¡°No, Seth, you don¡¯t need to come with me. Darryl will be pissed if you¡¯re late for training.¡±

    He crosses his arms. ¡°And if Mason wants you to go back and work for him?¡±

    I slip my shorts down, ignoring the way Seth¡¯s eyes rake me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell him no thank you, I already have a job and it allows me to stare at a certain sweaty, sexy man that I¡¯m particularly fond of all day.¡±

    His lips twitch and he pushes off the wall, sauntering closer to me. I feel my insides ripple with every step and my entire body tightens. I just want him to touch me, for Christ¡¯s sake! Is that so hard?! ¡°That does sound like a good job.¡± He smiles, sliding his hands onto the nape of my neck.

    ¡°The best,¡± I say, pressing my lips to his.

    He groans, sliding a hand down my neck, down my navel and into my underwear. My breath hitches as his rough fingers press against my warmth and instantly, my new underwear is soaked. He pulls back, his eyes smoldering at me.

    ¡°What are the odds of your mother walking in while I take care of you?¡± My, my, there is a God after all.

    There¡¯s a soft rap of knuckles on the door and Seth exhales, removing his hand and stepping back. Calm down girls, false alarm. There isn¡¯t a God.

    ¡°Olivia, I also made smoothies.¡± Mom¡¯s voice calls through the wood. Smoothies? Now? I choke on a laugh as I pull a new shirt over my head. ¡°Thanks, Mom!¡±

    God, she can be so awkward sometimes. I push my legs into my jeans, pull them up and button them. I reach for a hair tie off of my dresser and pull my hair up into a messy bun as I step past Seth and stroll from the room. Seth follows me, a little too closely for me to think straight and when we sit back in our seats, he leans across and kisses my cheek. I don¡¯t want to smile, but I can¡¯t help it and I end up grinning from ear to ear like the freaking Cheshire cat. Mom regards us curiously from across the table. ¡°So I take it you two are still going okay?¡±

    Seth laughs, slinging an arm over my shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t look too down, Mrs. James. I¡¯m not going anywhere.¡±

    Mom sips at her coffee, narrowing her eyes at him over the rim of her cup. Mom plays all ¡®cranky¡¯ and ¡®hard-to-please¡¯ when it comes to Seth, but deep down she loves him. She has to¡­because Dad did.

    ¡°Okay,¡± I sigh, after twenty minutes of silent eating. ¡°I have to go down to Mason¡¯s office and pick up a few things. When I come back, we can work on the garden, if you want.¡±

    Mom nods eagerly and a smile curls at her lips. ¡°That would be wonderful. I bought these pink petunias and they¡¯ll look gorgeous in the front garden.¡±

    Dad always wanted to put pink petunias in the front garden, but Mom hated the thought of the pink clashing with her yellows. Now that he¡¯s gone, she wants to put the pink in the front¡­maybe it¡¯s to honor his memory, or maybe it¡¯s because she feels guilty. Either way, I¡¯m glad the thought of putting them in the front garden makes her happy. I push out from my chair and Seth follows suit.

    ¡°I¡¯ll walk you to your car.¡± He tells me¡ªnot offers.

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    I slip into a pair of sandals by the door and pull my car keys off the hook. Seth holds the door open for me and I step out onto the patio. The morning air is refreshing and the golden, low-lying sun warms my skin while the cool breeze skims across it.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to go, you know. I could go down for you after training.¡±

    I laugh once at Seth wracking his brain to come up with anything to stop me from going down there. ¡°Yeah, I can see that ending well.¡±

    His fingers lace with mine and we walk hand in hand down the crunchy, pebble path. Tension radiates off of him in waves¡ªI can see it in the way he walks and feel it in the extra-tight grip he has on my hand.

    ¡°Look, Seth, I know how you feel about Mason, but you need to relax. I¡¯m going to be there five minutes tops.¡±

    His eyes search mine and after a couple long seconds, he drags in a deep inhale, expelling it from his nose. ¡°Fine, but call me when you¡¯re done. Maybe we can grab lunch.¡±

    ¡°What about Darryl and training?¡±

    Darryl has Seth training three times a day on most days now. It leaves little time for us to spend time together¡ªthat¡¯s probably all part of Darryl¡¯s sick plan, too.

    He shrugs. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that, I¡¯ll sort it out.¡±

    I reach up and plant a quick kiss on his lips. Before I pull away, his fingers unexpectedly dig into the small of my back and he pulls me hard against him. His mouth drops to my neck and he pulls the skin between his full lips, sucking hard and eliciting an unintentional moan from me. The skin begins to sting and then it hits me, and I pull away abruptly. Seth releases me with an amused quirk of his lips and I take a few steps back.

    ¡°Are you kidding me?¡± I gasp, clenching my neck.

    He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, like I¡¯m the most delicious thing he has ever tasted. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I mock him, making him smile at me. It¡¯s one of those ¡®I¡¯ll do whatever the fuck I want and you can¡¯t do a damn thing about¡¯ kind of smiles. It¡¯s the kind of smile that penetrates fabric and licks you right where your thighs meet, and it¡¯s because of that smile I can¡¯t be mad at him for wanting to leave his mark right where Mason will see it.

    ¡°You are such an animal,¡± I protest, unsure how to react to him and his blatant possessiveness.

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    I glare at him, but it¡¯s a confused glare that battles against a smile. ¡°It wasn¡¯t a compliment.¡±

    He flicks an eyebrow. ¡°I disagree.¡±

    I whirl around on my heel, push through the side gate and onto the driveway. Seth leans against the small, white gate and watches me as I get in my car, clip in my seatbelt, and start her up. Before I put it in reverse and leave, I wind down my window. ¡°Are you going to the gym now?¡± I ask out of curiosity.

    If I need anything from him later, it¡¯ll be easier for me if I know where he is.

    He smiles, running his fingers through his hair. ¡°I will in a little bit. I thought I¡¯d hang around here and annoy your Mom for a little while longer.

    I roll my eyes and shake my head. ¡°See you.¡±

    I back down the driveway and he waves once before I turn the corner and zoom away.

    It feels weird driving to Mason¡¯s office. It has been such a long time since I¡¯ve been anywhere near it. I purposely avoid it for fear of running into him. We ended things on bad terms¡­and considering I¡¯m still doing the things that caused us to fight in the first place I don¡¯t think this is going to be easy. I pull up out front, happy there¡¯s a parking space available. I check my neck in the rear-view mirror and I sigh in relief when I see the love bite fading. I take a few moments to group my thoughts. I don¡¯t know why I feel so nervous¡ªthen again, maybe it¡¯s not nerves¡­maybe it¡¯s guilt. I feel guilty because I was such a shit employee. I was a great employee before a certain someone came along. I arrived at work at the right times and never skipped days¡­then I met Seth and he turned my world upside down. I let him consume me, I let him take over every aspect of my life and I loved it. I love the way he makes me feel¡­taking a chance with him was worth more to me than working a nine to five job.

    I let my head fall back against the headrest and take two deep breaths. Might as well get this over and done with. I unclip my belt and climb out of the car. Ten minutes, I tell myself. Ten minutes and then I¡¯m out of there.

    ¡°Olivia?¡± Mason¡¯s voice rings through my ears and I turn abruptly, almost falling against my car. I¡¯m so not prepared for this.

    He¡¯s about to enter his office with a small coffee in his hand and I wave sheepishly at him. I force my legs one in front of the other and manage to walk around my car and step onto the sidewalk. I can¡¯t say I wasn¡¯t hoping he¡¯d be out and I¡¯d only have to deal with his receptionist¡­shit happens, I guess.

    ¡°Hey, Mason¡­I came to grab a few of my things,¡± I say, nervously fingering the hem of my shirt.

    He looks nice in his light grey suit with a bright blue tie, tied right to the top button. He smiles and I think it¡¯s both genuine and forced, if that¡¯s even possible. ¡°Sure, come on in.¡±

    My sandals slap the concrete as I follow him into his office. My gaze drags over the familiar surroundings before settling on my old desk. An uncomfortable twinge of nostalgia rolls through me and I ball my hands into anxious fists. Maybe I do miss working here¡­

    ¡°Fae, this is Olivia. She¡¯s your predecessor,¡± Mason informs her with a playful smile.

    I look at the tiny girl behind the desk. Fae is a suitable name for her appearance. She¡¯s tiny, with golden hair and a small, pointy nose¡ªlike Tinkerbell. She glances up at me through her short bangs.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± I tell her, rubbing my moist palms on my jeans. ¡°If you¡¯re showing up on time¡ªor at all¡ªthen you¡¯re already doing better than me.¡±

    She curls a stray hair over one ear sheepishly and chuckles, clearly nervous about my sudden arrival.

    ¡°Any patients?¡± Mason asks her and Fae shakes her head.

    ¡°Not for another half hour.¡±

    Mason signals for me to follow him into his office and I smile at Fae before slipping into the room and closing the door behind me. Without looking at Mason, I drop into the seat across from his desk. Thankfully, he sits in his chair behind the table and not on the edge of his desk, like he used to.

    ¡°How¡¯ve you been?¡± he asks, not making eye contact and I wonder if he actually cares.

    I entwine my fingers, not relaxed enough to lean back against the chair. ¡°Good, I¡¯ve been good. How about you?¡±

    He shrugs. ¡°I¡¯m doing all right.¡±

    An awkward silence fills the room and I watch him until he finally lifts his azure eyes from his desk to my face. ¡°How¡¯s your mom?¡±

    I cringe inwardly at the stilted conversation unfolding between us, but I power through it, hoping it ends up where I get my stuff and leave.

    ¡°She¡¯s doing better now that I¡¯ve moved back in with her.¡±

    ¡°Oh, good.¡±

    He leans back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry to hear about your father¡­when I read it in the newspaper, I couldn¡¯t believe it.¡±

    ¡°Thanks, it was a shock¡­but we¡¯re dealing with it.¡±

    He nods. ¡°And Seth? Are you two still¡ª¡±

    ¡°Yes, Seth and I are still very much¡­together.¡±

    Mason shakes his head slightly and I frown. Why¡¯d he think I came here? To beg for my job back? To tell him I was wrong and I should¡¯ve chosen him over Seth?

    ¡°I only came to collect my things, Mason.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s it? No apology? Nothing? You¡¯ve been avoiding my calls for the last eight weeks, but I get the feeling that has nothing to do with you.¡±

    I exhale. He¡¯s right. Mason didn¡¯t do anything to me. I was the one who wronged him. ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ve been busy managing the gym and you know how Seth is, especially with you¡­I¡ª¡±

    ¡°Seth is but an over-confident playboy, Olivia. I¡¯m not scared of him. He can¡¯t tell you who you can and who you can¡¯t talk to. I may have been your boss, but I was also you¡¯re friend¡ªI am your friend.¡±

    I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. Mason can¡¯t be my friend. I can¡¯t exactly see us going for coffee or going shopping together¡ªat least not without jeopardizing my relationship with Seth. Mason also has¡ªhad¡ªromantically feelings towards me, making any kind of relationship with him unattainable. I had to close this chapter of my life. In order to move forward with Seth, Mason and my old life has to go.

    ¡°Mason, I¡¯m sorry I chose Seth over my job and I¡¯m sorry I abandoned you and this practice, but so far that decision has led me to where I am now¡­and I like where I am.¡±

    Disappointment flashes across his features and it frustrates me. Why can¡¯t he ever make things easy for me? What more does he want me to say?

    ¡°I hate seeing you do this to yourself,¡± he admits, sending sharp arrows of frustration right into the pit of my stomach. ¡°Your relationship with Seth is a ticking time bomb. You know it, I know it¡ªeveryone knows it. You¡¯re wasting your time.¡±

    I scoff, ¡°I¡¯m wasting my time with Seth? No. I¡¯m wasting my time here with you. Every millisecond I¡¯m with him is time well spent. He makes me happy, Mason, the happiest anyone has ever made me. Doesn¡¯t that matter to you? You claim to be my friend yet you only take your own happiness into consideration, not mine. I know exactly what kind of person Seth is. I know what he¡¯s done and how he is, but that doesn¡¯t make me love him any less.¡±

    Mason pinches the bridge of his nose briefly before pushing up from his chair. He turns and opens the cupboard above his head. Reaching inside, he pulls out a small green box and shuts the door. Before handing it to me, he taps his fingers on the side of it, like he wants to say something else. Deciding against it, his brows furrow and he slides the box across his desk. ¡°There are your things. The picture of your dad, a few of your receipts, your paycheck and a lip gloss.¡±

    I grab the box and pull myself to my feet. I take one step towards the door and Mason¡¯s voice stops me in my tracks.

 Page 4

    ¡°I¡¯ll be waiting for you to tell me that I¡¯m right, and you will, eventually.¡±Advertisement

    I snap my head to look him dead in the eyes. His eyes are light, almost apologetic and I glare at him. ¡°Don¡¯t hold your breath.¡±

    I storm the last few steps toward the door and pull it open. Without a glance in Fae¡¯s direction, I march from the office and out into the street. I dodge around an old woman pushing a shopping cart and unlock my car before dropping into the driver¡¯s seat and slamming the door.

    ¡°Asshole!¡± I shout, slapping the steering wheel with the palm of my hand.

    How am I supposed to have a positive outlook on my relationship when everyone else is so damn negative? All I want is for someone to be happy for me¡ªlike Dad was or Selena is. I can¡¯t give everyone what they want. I can¡¯t make everyone happy so what the fuck am I meant to do? How can I be happy when people refuse to let me? I drag a slow inhale through my nose and expel it at the same speed. I pull my phone from my pocket and decide to skip a phone call to Seth. If he finds out Mason upset me, he¡¯ll probably come down here and do God knows what, so I send him a text instead.

    TO: SETH. TIME: 8:00 A.M.

    Done. On my way home to help Mom.

    I¡¯ll call you later.

    Love you.

    xx

    I drop my phone into a cup holder and put my keys in the ignition. As I pull away from my old workplace, I can¡¯t help but feel a little relief under the huge pile of worry and guilt. I¡¯ve officially closed the ¡®Mason¡¯ chapter of my life¡­it¡¯s finished. Never will I ever have to see his judging eyes or hear his unwanted comments. Closing that chapter in my life was surprisingly easy¡­maybe it¡¯s because I know every new chapter I start from here on out will bring new opportunities, new memories, and new endings, and hopefully, all of them will feature Seth.

    Chapter Three

    Seth

    FROM: OLIVIA. TIME: 8:00 A.M.

    Done. On my way home to help Mom.

    I¡¯ll call you later.

    Love you.

    xx

    ¡°Fucking Mason,¡± I growl, slipping my phone into the back pocket of my jeans.

    I lean against my car and keep my eyes trained on the darkened concrete at my feet as Jackson saunters up beside me.

    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± he asks, leaning against the car beside me.

    ¡°Mason,¡± I tell him, refusing to bring my eyes to his face.

    Although Olivia never hinted that Mason has upset her in her text message, I know he did. Mason had a habit of running his mouth where it wasn¡¯t wanted. Jackson stiffens beside me. ¡°What¡¯d he do?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± I cringe. Jesus-fucking-Christ. I sound like an idiot. I pull my keys from my pocket and push off of the car. I should go see her¡ªfuck it, I¡¯ll go see him. Jackson snags my arm, his grip hard and strong.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be an idiot.¡± He snickers, reading my mind. ¡°You don¡¯t even know if he¡¯s done anything.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t have to, Mason¡¯s a dick.¡±

    Jackson releases me and his eyes thin as he laughs to himself. ¡°Look at you all smitten and protective. I never thought I¡¯d see the day.¡±

    I roll my eyes as he crosses his jean-clad legs over each other and flicks his eyebrows suggestively at me. ¡°It seems you¡¯re no longer looking to lease, my friend, you¡¯re looking to buy.¡±

    I fold my arms over my chest, forgetting I want to get in my car and drive to Mason¡¯s. ¡°So what if I am?¡±

    I haven¡¯t told Jackson about my plans to ask Olivia to marry me¡­or that I¡¯ve already bought her a ring. I¡¯ll tell him eventually, when I know when I¡¯m going to ask her. I can¡¯t risk him telling Selena, she can¡¯t keep her mouth shut even if you pay her to. Jackson flashes his palms at me. ¡°No disrespect, man. I just never thought I¡¯d see the day.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well, things change.¡±

    ¡°So it seems.¡±

    I don¡¯t bother pointing out that he and Selena also seem to be getting pretty serious. My guess is, he either hasn¡¯t shown her what he¡¯s really like or she¡¯s just as damaged as he is. I don¡¯t blame Jackson for being the way he is. After the childhood and teenage years he¡¯s had I¡¯m surprised he has stuck with Selena for so long. His first real relationship was fucking unhealthy. Poor kid was only sixteen and the woman¡ªtwenty-three. She was into some dark shit sexually and he ate it all up, thinking that was how things worked. If he puts Selena through any of the shit he had to go through, I can¡¯t see their relationship stretching past the three month line. I¡¯ve fought the urge to ask him if he¡¯s shown Selena any of his¡­toys, but prying into Jackson¡¯s sex life is something I prefer to avoid.

    ¡°Let it go, bro,¡± Jackson says, interrupting my train of thought. He takes my brooding over his past as thoughts of Olivia and Mason. ¡°Call her, make her feel better and forget the rest.¡±

    I frown. Am I seriously getting relationship advice from Jackson? The same guy who has had as many serious relationships as me? How the fuck did that happen? I guess it isn¡¯t too farfetched. He¡¯s been coaching me on women since high school and now that I think about it¡­maybe that¡¯s a bad idea considering his relationships all consist of one night stands and consensual, sexual abuse. The thought of tying Olivia up and giving it to her arouses me, but I¡¯d never do it with half of the shit Jackson uses.

    ¡°Call her and then get dressed. Training begins in ten.¡±

    With a slap on the back, he strolls away from me and I retrieve my phone from my pocket, dialing Olivia¡¯s number immediately.

    It rings for a while before she answers. ¡°Hey.¡±

    Her voice is happy and high, but I hear the way it falls flat on the last syllable.

    ¡°Hey yourself.¡± I clear my throat, trying to find the right question to ask without looking like I¡¯m demanding information from her. ¡°How¡¯d it go?¡± Nailed it.

    She sighs, pausing for a few seconds. ¡°It started off okay¡­but you know Mason and how he feels about you.¡±

    The thought makes me smile. ¡°That I do. Are you all right?¡±

    ¡°Surprisingly, yes.¡± She laughs nervously. ¡°Onwards and upwards, right?¡±

    ¡°Right.¡± I stuff my free hand into the front pocket of my jeans.

    ¡°I just got home and Mom is all dressed up and ready to garden, so I have to go, but I¡¯ll see you later? We¡¯ll go out for lunch?¡±

    I smile, happy she isn¡¯t going to blow me off on account of Mason. ¡°Absolutely.¡±

    ¡°Okay, see you then.¡±

    She hangs up, leaving me smiling at my own reflection in the gym windows. I can¡¯t wait for lunch. I can¡¯t wait to see her milky skin and plump, pink lips. Seeing her is what I look forward to most in my day. Most people look forward to their favorite TV shows or their favorite meals, not me. I look forward to the same time every morning when I step through the gym doors and I know I¡¯ll see her. I look forward to seeing her cute wave and wide smile when she sees me, scanning the room for her. I love her, and it¡¯s the sweetest feeling in the world. I slip my phone into my pocket, open the back door to my car, and pull out my gym bag. Training is going to drag on because I¡¯m desperate for lunchtime to roll around. I want to see her¡­I need to see her.

    I open my eyes and glance sleepily around my room. In between tossing and turning, I didn¡¯t get much sleep. Last night¡ªand almost every other night¡ªI was plagued with images of Olivia that deterred me from sleep. Much to my brain¡¯s delight, tonight in my dreams, she was naked, desperate and begging for me. After I left her house yesterday, I couldn¡¯t shake the look of her in that tiny fucking shirt and tiny shorts¡ªnot to mention the fact that she wasn¡¯t wearing underwear. There I go, torturing myself again.

    I groan, throwing off my blankets. I haven¡¯t felt this wound up since the night she wanted me to take her on her couch and I refused. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and push myself onto my feet, running my hands over my face. I stroll toward the bathroom because the only thing that is going to help the ¡®tenting¡¯ issue I¡¯m currently having in my pants is a cold shower.

    I drop my pants and open the shower door. I turn on the cold tap, stepping well out of the way of the cold stream. As the cold water crashes against the floor tiles and splashes onto my skin, I decide a little bit of warmth wouldn¡¯t hurt¡­or at least I thought it wouldn¡¯t. The warmer the water became, the harder I got, and the harder I got, the tighter I wound.

    I reach for the body wash and squeeze a large amount into my hand. I ignore my cock that so eagerly juts out in front of me and begin lathering soap over every inch of my body, purposely leaving my length for last. When I have no choice but to wash it, I curl my hand around the shaft, washing as quickly as I can without causing myself too much grief. I almost got away with it too, until my index finger slides over the over-sensitive head, sending an overwhelming bolt of arousal through me. Without a second thought, I grab the tip of my cock and squeeze it firmly. A heavy, pleasured sigh leaves my lips and I feel my eyes become half lidded. I start out slowly, almost at a teasing pace and rest my free hand heavily against the glass.

    ¡°Fuck¡­¡± I groan, my voice barely above a whisper.

    I know I shouldn¡¯t tease myself and I know very well that if I go any faster there¡¯s no way I¡¯m going to stop. Images of Olivia trickle into my mind as my hands run up and down my dick, picking up speed. Almost immediately I edge myself to the brink of orgasm, but before I fall over, I tear my hand away, squeezing my eyes shut as my balls threaten to explode. I can¡¯t break Darryl¡¯s rule¡­and if I¡¯m going to break it, I¡¯m not going to waste it alone, masturbating in my shower. Not when I have Olivia, who wants me as desperately as I want her. Familiar, immoral thoughts of Olivia filter through my mind at the thought of her name. I think about yesterday and how badly she wanted me in the shower room and how close I came to filling her completely. My hand twitches towards my cock, but before it makes contact, I bite the bullet and slap the hot tap, drenching myself in cold water. I grit my teeth against the freezing temperature, and when I¡¯m certain my boner won¡¯t come back, I shut the water off and step out of the shower. I reach for a towel and quickly run it over my body before wrapping it low on my hips.

    My skin is still damp as I march through my room and throw on a white tank top and slip into a pair of shorts, tossing my towel to the side. I glance over my shoulder at the clock on my wall. Fuck. How long was I in there?

    I¡¯m running late and I don¡¯t think I can handle the five minute planks as a punishment today. Darryl makes me do them whenever I¡¯m late and I don¡¯t care who you are, they fucking hurt. I slip into a pair of ankle socks and tear from the room.

    I stroll through my kitchen, swinging by the fridge and claiming a yogurt from inside. As I pass the bench, I reach across and grab a granola and nut bar from the fruit basket. I hate training on an empty stomach. I tear the lid off the yogurt tub and drink it, pouring the sour Greek yogurt down my throat. The nutritionist the MMAC assigned to me would have a fit if she knew how little food I¡¯m consuming this morning and the fact that I¡¯ve yet to take one of their protein shakes.

    As I reach the front door, I slip into my shoes, step outside, and lock my door behind me.

    The drive to the gym passes by quickly and I pull awkwardly into a space. I¡¯m sure my wheels are over one side of the line, but I don¡¯t bother rectifying it¡ªnot while I¡¯m busy staring at the giant billboard of me bolted to the top of the gym. It¡¯s much bigger that I expected¡­

    This is real.

    This is happening.

    Shit.

    I exhale and close my eyes. I¡¯m a pro MMAC fighter with huge billboards of myself spread all over America¡­I deserve it. I fought my ass off to make this happen, so why does this whole sport suddenly feel so new to me? I open my eyes and look up at the billboard. I¡¯ve never been the kind of person who loves themselves, despite what other people might say about me¡ªand looking at my picture¡ªtopless with my fists up, all taped and dirty, makes me cringe. I never want to do a photo shoot again. I¡¯ve never felt more feminine in my life than I did that day. One shoot is more than enough. They better re-use that same photo for the rest of my career.

    I slip from the car and shut the door, pressing the buttons on my keys to lock it. I saunter toward the gym, still tired, even after my shower. I hate skipping breakfast. I need meat, I need eggs, and I need a million other things just to keep me running all day. Going off the way I feel now, I¡¯ll be lucky to make it to brunch.

    As I approach the door, I notice three men in brightly colored overalls installing our new security system and cameras. Olivia fought me a little on the cameras. She insisted they were unnecessary¡ªand they were¡ªuntil the grocery store down the road was broken into.

    I reach out to push the gym door open, but a buzzing in my pocket forces me to withdraw my hand and retrieve my cellphone from my pocket. Jackson¡¯s name flashes across the screen and I contemplate answering it. He¡¯s undoubtedly going to chew my ass off because I¡¯m running a little late. I hit answer and bring it to my ear.

    ¡°I¡¯m here now,¡± I say.

    ¡°Hey, man.¡± Jackson clears his throat, ignoring my greeting. ¡°I¡¯m not going to make it to the gym today. Selena and I got into it this morning because I almost punched her father in the mouth.¡±

    A laugh rumbles through my chest. ¡°You almost punched her father?¡±

    He growls. ¡°You should meet the fucking guy. He¡¯s a fucking dickbag and he treats her like shit. No wonder she has so many issues.¡±

 Page 5

    I don¡¯t comment. I¡¯ve never really spent time alone with Selena. I don¡¯t know if she has any deep seated issues¡ªhell, I don¡¯t even know what her favorite color is. I do, however, know she likes to dress pretty and drink hard.Advertisement

    ¡°Anyway, bro, you still prepared for me to move in today?¡±

    ¡°Uh¡ª¡± Shit. I forgot I asked Jackson to move in three weeks ago. I¡¯ve been so busy it slipped my mind.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I lie, pretending I didn¡¯t forget. ¡°All set.¡±

    ¡°Cool. I¡¯m gonna go find Selena. She¡¯s run off and isn¡¯t answering her phone. I¡¯ll talk to you later.¡±

    He hangs up and I slip my phone back into my pocket. I have no idea how Jackson and Selena are going to work if he already wants to smash her father. On second thought, I can¡¯t believe Jackson even agreed to meet her father. Maybe he¡¯s becoming just as whipped as I apparently am. My thoughts fall to Rick, Olivia¡¯s dad. He liked me, but it wasn¡¯t like that in the beginning. Although he played all happy in front of Olivia, when she left he¡¯d turn his sights on me, demanding I keep my eyes on her face and not¡­everywhere else. Once I told Rick I wasn¡¯t going to hurt her and he grew to believe me, things were fine. He was the only one I talked to about marrying Olivia¡­I¡¯d never been so scared or anxious in my life, but I got his blessing and that¡¯s all that matters.

    I push through the doors and into the gym. The strange smell I usually notice first is masked by frangipani¡ªor lavender¡ªsome kind of girly scent. Olivia has been trying to ¡®freshen¡¯ the gym for weeks now and this smell is definitely not working for me. I scan the room. In the far corner by the boxing ring, Darryl is taking a phone call¡ªone he doesn¡¯t seem too pleased with, and my sparring partners are stretching on the mat beside him. They have it easy today. I don¡¯t think I have it in me to knock anyone out. I glance around the rest of the gym¡ªtwo chubby men stroll lazily on the treadmills and a woman is going hard out on the elliptical. I frown, confused why Olivia isn¡¯t here. I want to see her before I train¡­I feel stupid just thinking that, we aren¡¯t inseparable¡­I just¡­I don¡¯t know. I guess that¡¯s what it¡¯s like being in love. You need to see that person everyday¡ªevery second. If you don¡¯t, you feel kind of empty¡­kind of incomplete.

    Jesus-fucking-christ. Listen to me! I sound like a pussy¡­but it¡¯s true. I feel incomplete¡­or at least I do until my gaze settles on a pair of bare thighs flowing endlessly out of tiny, black shorts as she bends over a rowing machine. It¡¯s her and I¡¯m willing to bet my entire pro season earnings on it. I¡¯ve seen her from this glorious angle too many times to not be certain.

    Suddenly pleased with how my morning is turning out, I draw nearer, my eyes zeroing in on the small gap between her thighs. Over and over I have to remind myself that we¡¯re in public. My fingers twitch, desperate to act of their own accord and slip between her legs. Instead, I rest my hand on the small of her back. Her skin is soft and warm under my palm and I feel her body go rigid as she slowly turns her head. When she makes eye contact with me, her green orbs brighten and she straightens herself before throwing her arms around my neck.

    ¡°You scared me!¡± She says, squeezing me against her.

    I wrap my arms around her waist and she pulls away, but I don¡¯t let her go. ¡°Did you see the billboard?¡±

    I feel my face pull together. ¡°I did¡­they don¡¯t have any smaller ones?¡±

    She half frowns, half smiles. ¡°I¡¯m sure they do, but I ordered the biggest.¡±

    ¡°Of course you did.¡±

    Her lips curl into a mocking smirk. ¡°Are you embarrassed, Mr. Marc?¡±

    ¡°Do I look embarrassed? Sorry, I was going for humble.¡±

    ¡°You have nothing to be embarrassed about.¡± She shrugs. ¡°I think it''s sexy.¡±

    ¡°Well, I think your shorts are sexy and I deem them inappropriate for the workplace.¡± She rolls her eyes and the palms of my hands find their way down her back, stopping on her firm ass. ¡°Your ass is a hazard.¡±

    She giggles at my lame line, catching her plump bottom lip between her teeth as her hands grip my hands, dragging them up to rest on her hips. ¡°There are times and places for everything.¡±

    ¡°I agree.¡± I lower my mouth to her ear and I feel her tense against me. ¡°I¡¯ve never done it in a gym.¡±

    ¡°Seth, people are watching.¡±

    My lips twitch upwards at the sound of her breathless voice. ¡°Let them.¡±

    I pull back, sliding my hands up the contour of her perfect body, before slipping them to either side of her neck. Her eyes are heavy, her plump lips parted to let through a slow, controlled breath and it exposes her teeth slightly, so flawless and white.

    ¡°Olivia?¡±

    A husky male voice draws my attention to the door and I watch cautiously as a tall, lean, and over-excited guy struts towards us. I feel Olivia¡¯s gaze drag from my face to his and she takes a step back. I drop my hands to my sides and watch curiously as he pulls Olivia into a hug. It isn¡¯t a seedy hug¡ªit resembles the kind of hug a brother would give a sister, but the gleam in his eye is unsettling.

    ¡°Brad, this is my boyfriend, Seth. Seth, this is Brad. He¡¯s a friend of my brother¡¯s,¡± she says after they rattle off a very brief catch up and condolences for Rick.

    Brad flicks his fingers through the front of his copper hair before extending the same hand to me. I glance at it briefly before putting my hand in his.

    ¡°You¡¯re the guy on the billboard out front?¡±

    I fight the urge to cringe, taking my hand back. I should be proud of it, not ashamed. ¡°Yep.¡±

    ¡°Cool, bro, that¡¯s admirable. How hard you hit?¡±

    I shrug. ¡°Get in the ring and I¡¯ll show you.¡±

    Brad laughs nervously and O steps beside me, resting a hand on my arm.

    ¡°I¡¯ll pass, thanks. Maybe next time,¡± Brad says.

    I analyze his face as he turns his attention to Olivia, flicking it awkwardly to me a few times¡ªthick, bushy eyebrows, a slender nose and bright yellow-green eyes¡­his catlike features unnerve me.

    ¡°Anyway, I¡¯m scouting for a new gym and I thought I¡¯d pop in here and give it a go. I like the environment and the people.¡± He flicks his eyebrows at Olivia. ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll stick around.¡±

    I cross my arms and Olivia leans into me, laughing like he said something funny. I didn¡¯t hear anything remotely funny come from his thin lips. Am I missing some kind of personal joke?

    ¡°Come, I¡¯ll show you the gym.¡± Olivia hooks her elbow around Brad¡¯s and glances at me over her shoulder. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to you soon,¡± she says, her voice broken with a giggle. ¡°You¡¯re late and Darryl is pissed.¡±

    I watch as she walks with Brad around the gym, laughing and blushing as she points out equipment and doors. Every now and then, their eyes flit to me before returning to their conversation. It¡¯s bothering me more than it should. I¡¯ve never felt jealousy before I became interested in Olivia. I don¡¯t do jealousy. I¡¯m a detached, hit it and quit it kind of guy¡ªor at least I used to be. I don¡¯t like the way jealousy affects me. I hate the anger it stirs¡ªI hate the fact that it makes me want to throw Olivia on the floor and take her in front of everyone just to make a statement. I exhale. I sound like a fucking psycho¡­and I am when it comes to her.

    ¡°Seth!¡± Darryl shouts, drawing my attention. He slips his phone into his pocket. ¡°You¡¯re late. Shirt off, gloves on, let¡¯s go!¡±

    Reluctantly, I stroll over to the boxing ring and pull my shirt over my head. I keep my head down and focus on wrapping my hands correctly instead of obsessively watching Olivia and Brad waltz around the gym.

    Darryl brings my gloves and head gear. I take my gloves, but ignore the other item in his hand.

    ¡°This isn¡¯t the amateurs anymore, Seth, you have to wear your gear. You can¡¯t afford to get hurt in training. Not to mention you have interviews and press conferences coming up¡ª¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want the head gear. He¡¯s not going to touch me.¡±

    Darryl drops the head gear with a sigh. ¡°You¡¯re too damn cocky for your own good.¡±

    I can¡¯t help the smile that tugs at my lips. I like Darryl, mostly because he reminds me of my father. Okay, that comparison isn¡¯t accurate. There¡¯s a big difference between Dad and Darryl. Darryl tells me how proud he is of me on a regular basis. Dad, however, has only said it twice. Once when I was six and I went to the dentist¡¯s for the first time and the second time on his death bed¡ª¡®I¡¯m proud of your determination, but I¡¯m not proud of your choices.¡¯ Fair call, I¡¯ve made some pretty shitty choices. Before Mom went off the tracks, I drank way too much, partied way too hard, and I slept with way too many girls. I have no reasons for it. Growing up, my home life was perfect, well, almost perfect. Maddi, my sister, was the ¡®golden child.¡¯ My parents bent over backwards for her. Maddi had always wanted to be a lawyer like Mom and my parents (being huge on success) nurtured her as much as they could. When they asked me what I wanted to be, my answer was always different. One week it was a race car driver. The next, a cage fighter. Hell, I even think I told them I wanted to be a mob boss at one point. My point is, I was never treated equally to my sister. When I told Dad about my plans to be a professional MMA fighter, he was hesitant until I went off in a long speech about discipline and determination. When he saw how serious and passionate I was, he agreed to be a part of it. He studied long and hard on the art of MMA and ended up knowing more than me, teaching me things I didn¡¯t know. Quickly, Dad and I grew close and it was like the last seventeen years of our tense relationship didn¡¯t exist.

    I loved it. I loved seeing him smile at me, his eyes gleaming with pride. Sadly, our easy relationship was short-lived. Being a surgeon and having to deal with death regularly, my Dad attended habitual therapy sessions. One night, he invited me to go with him. He wanted me to see what he had to deal with, how determined and passionate he was about his job, considering he never spoke about work outside of his therapy sessions.

    ¡°It¡¯s too stressful,¡± he¡¯d always say when I asked.

    The office was nearing close time¡­and Dad and I were sitting in the waiting room. There was no receptionist, apparently typical for that time of night, so he sent me to find Mason. I strolled around the practice before I entered his office. I don¡¯t regret a lot of things in my life because at the time I¡¯ve done them, it was exactly what I wanted, but I do regret the events that followed. The events that followed me entering Mason¡¯s office destroyed any relationship I¡¯d built with my father. I don¡¯t blame Mason¡¯s wife¡ªeven though she should have been a little more respectful of her marriage¡ªI only blame myself. I was young, horny, and stupid. So fucking stupid.

    My lungs burn as air is forced from them and I hunch over, blowing air from my cheeks. What the fuck? I straighten myself and my spar partner, Dave, locks eyes with me. He seems almost scared that he touched me. Fuck knows why, he¡¯s at least three times the size of me.

    ¡°Nice shot,¡± I groan, running my hands over my face.

    I need to wake up.

    ¡°Pay attention,¡± Darryl orders from the sidelines. ¡°Keep your hands up.¡±

    I bring my fists up and loosen my posture. He isn¡¯t going to get another hit on me. That I guarantee.

    ¡°Hello stranger,¡± she purrs, stepping closer. ¡°Looking for Dr. Peterson?¡±

    My eyes rake the woman before me in a tight, red dress and the highest pair of heels I¡¯ve ever seen. If there was a picture beside trophy wife on urbandictionary.com, it¡¯d be a picture of her. She drags her long, blonde hair over one shoulder, her hips swaying as she saunters toward me. There¡¯s a curve on the corner of her lips¡ªa confident curve¡ªlike she knows what¡¯s going to happen before I even open my mouth.

    ¡°Mason is out right now¡ªand he skipped on dinner with his wife again.¡±

    I don¡¯t talk to her, only watch as she pouts sarcastically.

    ¡°So you can imagine how pissed off and¡­¡± her gaze drags down the length of my body before returning to my face. I barely acknowledge my cock twitching in my pants. ¡°Unsatisfied I am.¡±

    I swallow hard as her hands press against my chest and glide downward until her finger curls around the hem of my jeans.

    ¡°Although young, you look like you can satisfy me¡­¡±

    Her eyebrow quirks, silently asking me for my name.

    ¡°Seth,¡± I tell her.

    She smiles the kind of smile that should have sent me running. She smiles a wide, wolfish and hungry smile that tugs at my nerves¡­among many other things.

    ¡°Seth¡­¡± she says in a husky whisper, bringing her mouth closer to mine. I smell the alcohol on her breath and I know I should leave¡­but I don¡¯t. She sucks my bottom lip between hers and I keep my eyes open, locked on her espresso black irises as she pops the button on my jeans. ¡°That¡¯s a sexy name.¡±

    My nerves skyrocket at the thought of Dad walking through the door any second now and I grab her small wrists in my hands. ¡°Don¡¯t.¡±

    Her over-plucked brow cocks. ¡°Don¡¯t?¡± Her eyes flare. ¡°You say it, but I know you don¡¯t mean it.¡±

    She kisses my chin, before slowly dropping to her knees. I look down at her as she glances up at me through hooded eyes and releases me from my jeans.

    ¡°Do you like to feel good, Seth? Because I¡¯m going to make you feel real good and then you¡¯re going to return the favor.¡±

 Page 6

    I know I shouldn¡¯t do it. I know it¡¯s wrong and beyond fucked up, but I¡¯m too hard to walk away. I figure, if I do this quickly and then get back to Dad¡ªno harm done.Advertisement

    Her lips wrap around me, coating my bare skin in slick, wet saliva. A groan slips from my throat and her fingers dig into my legs as she takes me all the way to the back of her throat. I grit my teeth against a shiver threatening to overcome me and grab a fistful of her soft hair, forcing her to move faster and harder. She moans, almost sending me over the edge, but I¡¯m not done. Not until I make her feel as good as she¡¯s making me feel. All rational thoughts fly out the window the moment her warm tongue wraps around the tip and a dark hunger is released inside of me. I force the woman roughly to her feet. She drags an index finger along her bottom lip and I grip her hips as she wraps her arms around my neck. I push her backwards, passing the couches and going straight to Mason¡¯s desk. As she slides onto the table, I pull back and reach for the wallet in my back pocket. While she tugs her pathetic excuse for underwear down her legs, I find a condom and slip the wallet back into my pocket. I waste no time in ripping the foil and rolling it on. Within seconds I¡¯m between her thighs and pushing my way inside her. No thoughts fill my mind¡ªnothing that will bring me back to my senses, anyway. I avoid kissing her mouth in respect of her marriage¡ªI almost cringe.

    How fucking thoughtful of me.

    I¡¯m relieved she doesn¡¯t mind me avoiding her lips. She isn¡¯t looking for romance or passion¡­a quick fuck to get back at her husband is all she wants. Mason¡¯s wife falls back, lying flat on his desk, her eyes closed. I tighten my grip on her hips, pulling her into me with every thrust.

    ¡°Oh fuck, yes,¡± she moans and I feel her tighten around me.

    I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, trying to hold back my own groans of pleasure as she wraps her legs around my hips, squeezing me closer to her. I feel my release gaining momentum and getting nearer as she digs her fingers into the wood, turning them white.

    ¡°Faster, shit,¡± she cries and her legs begin to spasm.

    Her fast breathing turn into gasps for air and her walls clamp down on me. The pressure on my cock sends me over the edge and I lean over her, my own hands turning white and bloodless under the pressure as my knees threaten to buckle. I feel myself pulse inside of her as I release and I grit my teeth against moaning out loud.

    Fucking hell.

    I take a few slow, deep breaths and draw myself to full height. Almost immediately, I feel a regretful sickness creep through my stomach and cling to all of my vital organs. What have I done?

    I slip off the condom and drop it into the bin. Raking my fingers through my hair, Mason¡¯s wife bends down for her underwear and I follow suit, buttoning my own jeans. As luck would have it, before I get the button done, the door opens and I freeze.

    ¡°Honey, this is¡ª¡±

    Holy shit. Fuck.

    Mason¡¯s words are cut off as he takes in the scene before him. His wife finishes adjusting her red thong and pulls down her dress, covering the red marks my fingers made when I squeezed her flesh.

    ¡°Seth?¡± There¡¯s no mistaking the complete disgust in Dad¡¯s voice and I flinch. ¡°What the fuck is going on?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what¡¯s going on,¡± the woman says as she grabs her handbag. ¡°Seth here was showing me a good time¡ªa great time. This is the last time you neglect me, Mason. I want a divorce.¡±

    She reaches into her bag and retrieves a packet of cigarettes. She plucks one out, puts it between her lips and ignites it with a tacky diamante lighter. With a sultry wink in my direction, she says. ¡°Thanks, handsome.¡± And then she pushes past Dad and her husband¡ªex-husband. Mason starts toward me, hate as clear as day in the blue depths of his eyes and I¡¯m not going to fight him. I¡¯m going to let him punch me in the face. Fuck knows I deserve it, but before he reaches me, Dad dives between us. ¡°Go after your wife, Mason. I¡¯ll deal with Seth.¡±

    I frown, knowing that whatever mental shit Dad dishes out will be a million times worse than what Mason could ever do to me physically.

    Mason whips around on his heel and storms from his office, shouting after his wife.

    ¡°Dad, it¡¯s not my¡ª¡±

    My words are cut off by a harsh slap to my cheek and it tosses my head to the side. I feel my nostrils flare and I clench my jaw against the urge to hit him back as I slowly turn to face him.

    ¡°It¡¯s not my fault,¡± I almost growl at him.

    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault? Did she tie you down and force you to put your dick in her?¡±

    I grit my teeth. ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°No, she didn¡¯t. It¡¯s your fault just as much as it is hers.¡± He pinches the bridge of his nose. ¡°I thought you changed, Seth, but you¡¯re still the same disgraceful embarrassment you were months ago and I¡¯m finished with you.¡±

    The look on Dad¡¯s face¡ªthe look of pure resentment and disappointment seeps through my pores, flows through my bloodstream and penetrates my heart. The last few months I¡¯ve worked so hard to make him proud¡­only to destroy it.

    Pain flashes across my mouth as my lip is crushed against my teeth and it splits.

    Shit. I zoned out again.

    ¡°Seth! What the fuck are you doing?¡± Darryl¡¯s voice pierces me and I lick my lip.

    Blood. I fucking hate the taste of blood. I lunge forward, slamming my gloved hand into Dave¡¯s stomach. He hunches over and I grab his head, driving my knee into his face. With a grunt, he falls onto his hands and knees. As soon as I¡¯m done, Darryl launches himself into the ring, clutching his stopwatch to stop it from swinging around his neck. I press my glove against my lip and look at it. There isn¡¯t too much blood, thank God, which means there isn¡¯t too much damage¡­I hope.

    ¡°Are you awake? You¡¯re as disoriented as a kidnapped prostitute on heroin.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m awake,¡± I tell him, rolling my head from side to side. ¡°I just didn¡¯t get much sleep last night.¡±

    ¡°Why? Are you ill?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    He puts his hands on his hips. ¡°Then why aren¡¯t you sleeping?¡±

    Choosing to avoid the flashback of me disappointing my father, I say. ¡°Because I¡¯m wound too tightly, Darryl. I can¡¯t go months without sex. I¡¯m not in the amateur league anymore. My fights aren¡¯t a week or two apart... they¡¯re months apart and I can¡¯t handle it.¡±

    Surprisingly, Darryl laughs. ¡°You can¡¯t sleep because you¡¯re horny? You¡¯re letting your sparring partners get through your guard because you want to fuck your girlfriend?¡± He pinches the bridge of his nose (a typical Darryl reaction) and exhales. ¡°If having sex is going to keep you on the top of your game and alert, then fine, do it. But if you come back tomorrow and you don¡¯t give me two hundred percent, I¡¯m going to kick your ass myself, got it?¡±

    I roll my eyes. Darryl¡¯s good at what he does and definitely knows his way around a cage, but he could never beat me.

    ¡°Go it?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I got it.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± He turns from me to face the other sparrers. ¡°Next.¡±

    As my next sparrer prepares his gloves, I scan the gym for Olivia. I spot her leaning against a training room door. Her long, slender fingers reach up and tighten her ponytail and she flicks it over one shoulder.

    She¡¯s perfect.

    I think back to my recent flashback and grit my teeth as a pang of guilt crushes my stomach. The fact Olivia willing touches what too many other girls have touched makes me sick. I should be special for her¡­like she is special for me. If I could go back and do everything again, I¡¯d have waited for her because no one makes me feel as good as she does. Olivia doesn¡¯t make me feel dirty, like I did when I was with other girls. When we have sex, she doesn¡¯t make me feel like I¡¯m doing something wrong and that¡¯s what drew me to her. She makes me feel good, she makes me feel like a better person¡ªthe person I should have been for my father. I watch her laugh and playfully slap Brad on the arm, and even from here I can see the pink flush that burns at her cheeks. Brad grabs her shoulders and pulls her into him before his eyes flick to me.

    Oh hell no.

    I tear my gloves off and drop them to the floor as my new sparrer steps in. I stalk across the ring and the floor shakes with every step I take.

    ¡°What the hell are you doing? Put your gloves back on,¡± Darryl demands.

    ¡°More important things to do,¡± I tell him, not breaking my visual on Brad and Olivia.

    ¡°More important things¡ªSeth¡­¡±

    I ignore him as I slip between the ropes and onto the stable gym floor. Brad retracts his arms from Olivia and an uncomfortable cringe creeps over his face. When she turns to see me coming for her, she shakes her head at me, like I¡¯m seconds away from overreacting.

    ¡°Seth, what are you¡ªah!¡± I grab her hips and lift her, throwing her over my shoulder. ¡°Put me down¡ªBrad, give me a second. Seth, stop.¡±

    I don¡¯t stop. I keep carrying her until we¡¯re in her office. I storm across the room and drop her into her office chair, gripping the arms of it so it doesn¡¯t roll away.

    ¡°Feel better now?¡± She laughs and I feel my eyebrows draw together. Is this funny?

    ¡°He isn¡¯t coming here, O. Tell him we¡¯re full,¡± I demand in a tone so dark she can¡¯t possibly mistake it for a question.

    Her soft hands glide up my arms, softening my frustrated edge. ¡°You don¡¯t trust me?¡±

    I stare into her beautiful green eyes, unwavering. ¡°I trust you¡ªit¡¯s everybody else I don¡¯t trust.¡±

    ¡°Seth¡­¡± She sighs, running a hand over her face, defeated. ¡°Brad is gay. He isn¡¯t into me, he¡¯s into you.¡±

    I frown and her hands rise to her mouth as her body vibrates with laughter. Gay? No¡­I¡¯ve seen and met plenty of gay guys. They were all the same¡ªconfident, over the top, and feminine. Brad has a husky voice, he doesn¡¯t walk funny, and I didn¡¯t see him purse his lips once. I drop to my knees, keeping my hands on the armrests.

    ¡°You look shocked.¡± Her chest hiccups with a remaining giggle.

    ¡°I am. He doesn¡¯t look gay¡­¡±

    ¡°What do you mean he doesn¡¯t look gay? Gays aren¡¯t all the same.¡±

    But I¡¯m certain they are. I¡¯ve seen so many and all their personalities have been as indistinguishable as the last.

    I put my hands on my hips and sink to the floor before her. ¡°Now I feel like a dick¡­¡±

    Olivia slides closer and slips her hands around my neck. Her green eyes flare at me from underneath her dark lashes and the corners of her lips jerk. ¡°Well, it¡¯s a good thing he¡¯s into dicks, isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I don¡¯t want to laugh, but my lips pull wider anyway and my chest rumbles. I slip my hands underneath her, pulling her off the chair and onto my lap. She molds perfectly to me and my body is anything but immune to her covered breasts that press against my chest.

    ¡°How long did it take you to come up with that one?¡± I ask, lowering my mouth to hers.

    ¡°I¡¯ve been waiting to say it since the moment Brad walked in and you looked like you wanted to kill him.¡±

    O¡¯s tongue flicks out and brushes the cut on my bottom lip. She cringes, her eyes glossing over with sympathy. ¡°Does it hurt?¡±

    ¡°Not anymore.¡±

    My hands snake underneath her tight tank top and up the warm skin of her back as her own fingers brush the back of my neck before slipping into my hair. She rolls her hips forward, sliding further onto me and my breathing deepens. My whole body tightens and clenches as she urges her mouth on mine, pressing slightly on my cut as she dips her tongue inside, eliciting a moan from me.

    ¡°Darryl gave me the green light¡­¡± I tell her, pulling back and resting my forehead against hers. ¡°Tell me to stop or I¡¯m going to take you right now.¡±

    Her eyelids drop minutely and she leans in close, her lips grazing my earlobe. ¡°Whatever you do,¡± she breathes, ¡°don¡¯t stop.¡±

    I tear my hands from her shirt and bury them in her hair, roughly tugging her backwards. She gasps and our eyes connect. My blood burns as her irises flare, sending my body buzzing before she crushes her mouth to mine. I drop an arm and wrap it around her waist, urging her onto her back. In one fluid movement, she hitches a thigh round my hip as I pin her body against the wooden floor and press myself right between her thighs. She groans and flexes her hips into mine. The movement is almost enough to have me coming in my pants. I pull her shirt up and tug her bra down so her voluptuous mounds flow over the useless cups. I suck a hard nipple into my mouth and she lifts her hips. I curl my fingers around the hem of her shorts and she sucks in a sharp breath. I can feel the heat radiating from her and I want to be in her¡ªdeep in her¡ªuntil I lose sense of where I am, until I can¡¯t think straight.

    Knock. Knock.

    ¡°Are you fucking kidding me?¡± I groan with a mouth full of breast.

    I release her and she groans, disappointed. I look up at her face. Her eyes are closed, trying to compose herself. She swallows hard before opening her eyes blinking at me. How hard is it to have five goddamn seconds to myself?

    ¡°What?¡± I call out, unable to mask my frustration.

    ¡°When I said you can have sex, I didn¡¯t mean now,¡± Darryl shouts, his voice vibrating through the wood and killing the heat between Olivia¡¯s legs. ¡°Get out here. You still have a full training session to get through, not to mention the five minute planks for being late.¡±

    With a defeated sigh, Olivia shifts underneath me and conceals her pink nipples behind her white bra.

 Page 7

    ¡°I¡¯ll be out in a minute,¡± I call, pushing myself off of her.Advertisement

    I pull on the hem of her shirt, covering her firm stomach. Now I finally have the green light, I want to spend every waking minute with her. Not only having sex, but reconnecting in other ways, and knowing I can reach out and touch her without having to worry if I work myself up would be nice. I¡¯ve decided she isn¡¯t staying with her mom tonight, no way. I want her with me, in my house and in my bed. All alone.

    FUCK!

    Jackson is moving in today¡­meaning the chance of isolation and freedom to make Olivia as loud as I want her to be is slim to none¡ªJesus¡ªand I haven¡¯t even told Olivia he¡¯s moving in.

    I sigh and sit up. I rake my fingers through my hair, making a mental note to get a haircut. ¡°I should probably mention Jackson is moving in.¡±

    Her eyes widen and she pushes herself up on her elbows. ¡°When?¡±

    ¡°Today, and I was thinking we could have a barbeque¡ªjust you, me, Selena and Jackson,¡± I lied. I wasn¡¯t thinking that. I just created a reason to have her agree to coming over tonight before her mom has a chance to rope her into dinner.

    Olivia sits up and tightens her ponytail, smiling slightly. ¡°Are you feeling okay?¡±

    ¡°Above the waist I¡¯m okay, why?¡±

    Her lips twitch. ¡°It doesn¡¯t seem like your style. I expected you to suggest an orgy before a double date.¡±

    ¡°Firstly, I don¡¯t have a style and it¡¯s not a double date. It¡¯s a couple of friends hanging out and eating a shit ton of food¡­¡± I hook my finger under the hem of her shorts and tug her toward me. Her hands fly up and press against my chest to stop herself from slamming into my body. I smile as I picture her naked, digging her fingernails into my bare skin. ¡°To increase stamina for a sleepless night,¡± I finish.

    She takes a step back and I remove my finger from her shorts as she runs a hand over her face. ¡°Shit, I can¡¯t.¡±

    The balloon of indecent excitement in my chest deflates. ¡°You can¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°No, I promised Mom we¡¯d Skype with Chase tonight.¡±

    ¡°What time?¡±

    ¡°Eight p.m.¡±

    ¡°Come to dinner at six and then you can Skype with Chase afterwards.¡±

    She ponders for a little while, pulling the corner of her lip between her teeth. ¡°Fine, do you need me to get anything? What are we eating?¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t need to get anything, I have lots of steak.¡±

    Olivia blinks at me a few times before reaching for her blue backpack that sits on the desk. ¡°I¡¯ll go pick up some Selena-friendly food. She only eats lamb, chicken, or meats that have been processed enough times they actually count as a chemical.¡± She rolls her eyes and mimics Selena¡¯s voice. ¡°The bigger the animal, the bigger the bloat.¡±

    Whatever the hell that means. A few more knocks sound on the door and I walk towards it before pulling it open.

    ¡°We were only talking,¡± Olivia states, shifting her weight and folding her arms.

    Darryl¡¯s eyes zero in on her leg and I follow his line of sight. I smile widely when I spot one half of her shorts pushed up her thigh.

    ¡°Apparently,¡± he deadpans.

    Olivia glances down and abruptly flattens her shorts.

    ¡°Anyway, I have the MMAC breathing down my neck. They¡¯re not happy with your times and they¡¯re extremely close to replacing me with some juiced up gorilla who knows more about supplements than techniques.¡±

    I shrug my shoulders in an attempt to come off unbothered, but inside, I feel sorry for Darryl. I¡¯ve fucked him around a lot since I met Olivia. When Darryl and I first started working, I¡¯d hired him only to piss off my dad¡ªbut we grew close and now I wouldn¡¯t dream of replacing him. Without hesitation, he gave up his life in Seattle and uprooted his wife and three children to move to Portland with me. He believed in me¡ªbelieves in me¡ªand I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do or where¡¯d I¡¯d be without him.

    Olivia strolls past, planting a quick kiss on my cheek. ¡°See you soon.¡±

    We watch as she rounds the corner and disappears down the stairs.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to marry her,¡± I say aloud without thought or warning.

    Darryl¡¯s lips curl into a wide, proud smile and it illumines his dark features. ¡°Good, you¡¯d be stupid not to.¡±

    I nod my head in subtle agreement and lean against the door frame. Darryl analyzes me for a second before speaking. ¡°You know, the ¡®no sex¡¯ rule isn¡¯t only to help your performance levels, but to also help your relationship.¡±

    I frown, confused.

    ¡°C¡¯mon, everyone knows what kind of guy you were. With this rule in place, it gives you time to explore other aspects of your relationship. Love isn¡¯t only expressed through words or sex. It¡¯s communicated through actions¡ªselfless actions¡ªas easy as listening to her talk about her day or washing her hair. Love isn¡¯t about staying together and having sex. It¡¯s about staying together and growing together, for a lifetime.¡± Darryl chuckles. ¡°That probably went in one ear and out the other, though, right?¡±

    I shake my head. It¡¯s advice like that that is going to help me throughout this relationship. ¡°No, I think I¡¯ll hold on to that piece of advice.¡±

    He rubs the back of his neck and averts his gaze, happy, but uncomfortable. Neither of us is used to conversations like this. ¡°Let¡¯s go, we¡¯ve got training to do.¡±

    Before he turns, I stop him.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I say, crossing my arms. ¡°¡­for putting up with all of my bullshit. I know I¡¯m hard to handle and I know I can be a dick, so thanks for dealing with it better than Dad did.¡±

    Darryl¡¯s features hardened. ¡°With all due respect, your dad was an idiot. You were just a boy¡ªone that made bad decisions¡ªbut a boy, nonetheless. If he spent more time showing you instead of telling you, maybe things would have been different.¡±

    ¡°Maybe, but I wouldn¡¯t change anything.¡±

    I had a love/hate relationship with Dad¡ªpredominately hate, but he was still my father¡ªsomething I don¡¯t think he could handle at any stage in my life. Olivia, however, knew exactly what kind of person I was when we met, God knows I told her a million times, but she still wanted me. I like being around her, she soothes me. Being in the amateur tournament was stressful, beyond stressful. Before every fight, Dad¡¯s words would ring through my mind.

    ¡°When have you succeeded at anything in life? Ever? You¡¯re dedicated, sure, but you¡¯re also stupid. You always get your own way and this¡­fighting thing is no different. I¡¯ll watch your fights, but only to see you ruin it for yourself. You always do.¡±

    Every time I fought in the amateur comp, it was a ¡®win or die¡¯ situation. It was win or prove my father right and I refuse to admit that I¡¯m the loser he believed I was. There isn¡¯t a submission in the world that can force me to tap out. If you get me in a hold, you better be prepared to snap a bone or kill me because I will not surrender. Call me stubborn, I know I am. Call me competitive or spoiled, I¡¯m those things too, but what I am not, is weak. I¡¯ll never give up on anything that I want and now that I¡¯m pro, the stakes are higher¡ªthe fights, meaner. There¡¯s a lot more stress on my mind and my body than ever before, but I¡¯m ready.

    I think.

    Chapter Four

    Olivia

    I pull up outside the small grocery store by the gym and I sit in my car for a few long seconds because I have no idea what Seth has in his fridge¡­doubling up would be pointless. With a heavy sigh, I open the door, drag myself from the seat and slam the door behind me. I¡¯m happy being here by myself. The last time I went to a grocery store with Seth and his nutritionist, Mina, I swear I was going to have a mental breakdown. The looks I received from her every time I suggested something not ¡®organic¡¯ were ridiculous. It seems a fighter¡¯s diet is extremely strict. Did you know there are different kinds of carbs and fats? I didn¡¯t. Thankfully, Selena doesn¡¯t care if something is organic or grown purely from chemicals. She¡¯s not one to care what she puts into her body and yet, her body remains perfect.

    My thoughts of healthy foods and perfect bodies distract me until I¡¯m standing outside the store¡¯s Deli section.

    ¡°Twenty-nine.¡± The woman¡¯s high voice commands my attention and I glance down at the number in my hand.

    Oh, that¡¯s me. I step forward, hand her the ticket, and order a few chicken drumsticks and a rack of lamb ribs. Everything is coated in a thick layer of smoky barbeque sauce and it makes my mouth water. My mouth isn¡¯t the only thing lacking in moisture¡­I¡¯m still not able to shake the way Seth¡¯s hot mouth felt when it enveloped my nipple¡­his tongue glides with perfect pressure over my hard peak, sending an abundance of electrified tingles between my legs¡­

    ¡°Olivia?¡±

    My eyes shoot open. I¡¯m still in the store, standing right by the freezer section with a small basket filled with items¡­items I don¡¯t remember grabbing because I was too caught up in the way Seth handled me. And when he pulled my hair so firmly, oh my Go¡ª

    ¡°Olivia?¡± the familiar voice said again.

    I whip around on my heel and immediately meet Blade¡¯s boyish face and bright eyes. A thick, uncomfortable feeling twists my stomach and I¡¯m almost positive that it¡¯s hate. I think I¡¯m angry just looking at him¡­

    ¡°Blade?¡±

    He adjusts his black t-shirt and steps forward, pulling me and the basket I jam between our bodies into him.

    ¡°How are you?¡± he asks when he releases me.

    I haven¡¯t seen Blade since my father¡¯s funeral. He was so uncharacteristically cool about Seth and I being in love.

    ¡°I¡¯m good, thanks. How are you?¡±

    I don¡¯t really care how he is, not like I did before I met Seth. I only ask out of courtesy and because I don¡¯t want to cause a scene.

    ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡± His eyes drink me in, eyeing my small, black shorts closely. ¡°You look good.¡±

    I shift my basket, dropping it subtly to hide my bare legs. Blade has seen me naked too many times for me to feel insecure in front of him, but I don¡¯t want him to look at me like that anymore. I¡¯m not his. There¡¯s only one set of eyes I want skimming over my flesh and they¡¯re brown with beautiful rivers of golden honey, not blue.

    ¡°How¡¯s Seth? Still treating you well?¡±

    I can hear the hope in his voice and it makes me feel off. How dare he?

    ¡°Like a princess,¡± I reply, forcing a fake smile just to get at him.

    Blade inches closer and I step back until the skin of my shoulders presses against the fridge¡¯s cold glass.

    He lowers his voice, smiling uncomfortably. ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about you a lot lately¡­I miss you.¡±

    He presses a hand against the glass beside my head and if I push any harder on the fridge, I¡¯ll go through it.

    ¡°Blade, don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not doing anything, I just want to talk.¡± His sentence finishes with a small exhale and I pick up the scent of¡­vodka¡ªor something close to it.

    ¡°Are you drunk?¡± He doesn¡¯t look drunk. His eyes are alert and his skin free of a clammy sweat.

    ¡°I had a little bit, but I¡¯m not drunk.¡±

    I step away. ¡°Goodbye.¡± He slides in front of me.

    ¡°I just want to talk, Olly.¡±

    I grit my teeth. I hate that nickname. ¡°We have nothing to talk about. As far as I¡¯m concerned, we¡¯re strangers.¡±

    His eyebrows raise and he steps back, running his hand over his face. I don¡¯t have to ask to know that I¡¯ve pissed him off.

    ¡°Strangers? We were together for six years, we were each other¡¯s first, and we¡¯ve met each other¡¯s families, but now we¡¯re strangers? What the fuck happened to you?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not me¡ªit never was me. It was you. You did this to yourself, and newsflash¡ªI¡¯ve moved on. I love someone else. If you see me walking around, don¡¯t talk to me. We¡¯re strangers now¡ªnot because of me, and it¡¯s not even because of Seth. It¡¯s because of you.¡±

    I push past him, but before I storm away, I turn to him. ¡°In light of it all, though, I guess I do have to thank you¡­¡±

    ¡°For what?¡± he barks out, his head snapping in my direction.

    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for you, I never would have been given the chance to meet Seth¡­so thank you.¡±

    He narrows his baby blues at me and the fear they used to provoke in me ceases to exist. I¡¯ve beaten him and he no longer affects me. My system is immune to him.

    ¡°You¡¯re so very welcome,¡± he deadpans, almost growling.

    I turn again and march toward the checkout without double checking the contents in my basket. He shouldn¡¯t be so mad. He knows how the saying goes, ¡®treat her right, or someone else will,¡¯ and that is exactly what happened.

    I leave the food in the car and step into the gym. Finally, I can breathe easier. I hadn¡¯t expected to see Blade again¡­but now that I have, I can say the feelings I had are completely gone. Non-existent. I¡¯m glad I ran into Blade, actually. I feel it finally closed the ¡®Blade¡¯ chapter of my life. First Mason, now Blade. I¡¯m erasing them from my life only to make more room for Seth.

    I pull my phone from my pocket and glance at the time. I was at the store for a little over an hour. The gym is still relatively clean and quiet, so I stroll toward the training room, hoping to replace Blade¡¯s face, that hovers at the front of my mind, with Seth¡¯s.

 Page 8

    I push through the door and my gaze immediately zeroes onto Seth¡¯s form. He¡¯s face down on the floor, holding himself up on his elbows and the tips of his feet¡ªboarding? Fencing? No¡­planking! Yes, that¡¯s what it¡¯s called. Planking. I tried it once and barely made eight seconds.Advertisement

    I stroll over to Darryl, who¡¯s sitting comfortably in a chair next to Seth. He glances up at me and smiles, exposing his white teeth.

    ¡°What¡¯s his time?¡± I ask.

    ¡°Eleven minutes so far, four more to go.¡±

    Darryl crosses his legs and places the stopwatch on his grey, sweatpant-clad thigh. I step closer to Seth, watching his muscles tremble as he fights to keep himself up. I hear his breathing come out in controlled breaths and he keeps his head down, ignoring my presence. Normally, I¡¯m okay with Seth focusing more on the training session than me, but after seeing Blade, I want to touch Seth. I want to talk to him and laugh with him¡ªI want to do anything to rid the memory of my ex-boyfriend.

    ¡°Switch to high plank,¡± Darryl commands, and with a small exhale, Seth pushes himself off of his elbows and onto the palms of his hands, holding himself higher off the ground. Seth keeps his head straight, not looking at anything but the far wall. I circle him until I stand in front of him, blocking his eye contact with the wall. He glances up at my face and his lips curl into a heart-stopping smile. The urge to be close to him overwhelms me and I sit down before sliding myself directly underneath his large body

    ¡°Here we go,¡± I hear Darryl sigh under his breath, but I ignore him, focused only on the brown irises that glow lovingly at me.

    Seth watches my face as I trail the tips of my fingertips over the rock hard muscles in his arms. The hard masses coated in a thin, arousing layer of sweat tremble and my eyes flick from his arms to his face.

    ¡°You know, when I pictured you underneath me for the first time in weeks, this isn¡¯t exactly what I had in mind,¡± he says, his voice strained.

    I hear Darryl¡¯s chair scratch a few times on the floor as he moves away from us, giving us the privacy we desperately need. I laugh, turning my head to look away from him. He lowers himself and plants a kiss on my cheek, sending warm butterflies through my stomach. I bite my bottom lip against more giggles as his lips playfully travel my jaw and onto my neck.

    ¡°Seth, high planks,¡± Darryl commands and Seth exhales, straightening his arms.

    I turn my head to look at him. Even during training sessions he looks amazing. His skin doesn¡¯t turn pink like mine does when I¡¯m overworked, his shines and the golden rivers in his eyes turn a beautiful sun gold. He¡¯s so perfect I want kick him or squeeze him until he pops. Not out of hate, but out of love¡ªpure, endless, exciting love.

    ¡°Three more minutes and we¡¯ll go to my place to help Jackson.¡±

    ¡°Will Selena be there, too?¡± It¡¯s been so long since I¡¯ve seen her. She¡¯s been taking introduction classes in everything because it turns out being a police officer wasn¡¯t for her. On her first day in class, she got to watch them fire guns and she discovered she doesn¡¯t like loud noises. I mentally roll my eyes every time I think about it. On the plus side, since she¡¯s been with Jackson, her drinking and smoking habits have been cut in half. Nothing makes you feel like more of an alcoholic than when Selena declines a drink from you. I don¡¯t know how he did it. I¡¯ve tried to get Selena to cut down on drinking since high school, but she¡¯s very stubborn. After a while, I gave up. She¡¯s her own person and although I wouldn¡¯t want her doing anything to hurt herself, I¡¯m not her mother. She can do whatever she wants and all I can do is offer some sound advice from the sideline.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Seth answers. ¡°If Jackson finds her and they make up, then probably.¡±

    ¡°Wait. Finds her? What happened and why hasn¡¯t she called me?¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s probably too pissed off to talk to anyone.¡±

    No, that can¡¯t be it. Selena has always called me when something in her life hasn¡¯t gone her way. She¡¯s called me crying because she kicked her toe. She¡¯s called me crying because her Nan died and she¡¯s called me crying because her driver¡¯s license photo makes her ¡®look like a man.¡¯ My point is she always calls me. I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Selena¡¯s number, bringing it to my ear. After four rings, she answers.

    ¡°Hey.¡±

    I frown, she seems fine. I keep my eyes on Seth¡¯s chest, but I¡¯m oblivious to the rock hard body hovering above me.

    ¡°Sel, are you okay?¡±

    She sighs. ¡°I am now¡­I¡¯ve had a very long morning.¡±

    ¡°Vent to me, it¡¯ll make you feel better.¡±

    ¡°Jackson met Dad.¡±

    My brows furrow. ¡°And what happened?¡±

    ¡°You know how Dad is and how much he expects from me. Jackson couldn¡¯t handle it, accusing my Dad of being a controlling asshole.¡± Selena laughs once. ¡°Which is hilarious coming from him.¡±

    Now I¡¯m confused. Jackson is controlling? There¡¯s so much Selena has obviously neglected to tell me¡­and it kind of hurts. As for her dad, he¡¯s a strict man, but I¡¯ve never really seen him try and control Selena. Then again, she refuses to say much about her dad and he¡¯s hardly home. I¡¯ve seen him easily only twenty times since I¡¯ve known Selena. He can¡¯t be too bad if she still lives there and refuses to move out. I don¡¯t know, I can¡¯t give her advice about a problem she¡¯s never shared with me.

    ¡°Will you be at Seth¡¯s today? Jackson is moving and we were hoping to have a barbeque?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be there.¡±

    ¡°Good, we can talk then. I miss you¡­¡±

    Selena chuckles. ¡°We saw each other two weeks ago, but if it makes you feel better, I miss you, too.¡±

    I roll my eyes. ¡°See you later, dick.¡±

    ¡°Love you!¡±

    I hang up and slip my phone back into my pocket.

    ¡°Is she coming?¡± Seth asks.

    ¡°Apparently.¡±

    His full lips curl. ¡°Did she tell you Jackson almost punched her dad?¡±

    I feel my eyebrows rise into my hair line. ¡°No.¡±

    He nods. ¡°Yeah, he did.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°According to Jackson, her dad is an asshole. Jackson isn¡¯t one to lose control easily, so her dad must¡¯ve said something really messed up to have pissed him off.¡±

    My eyebrows drag together. I¡¯ve never seen Jackson as the aggressive type¡ªat least, not like Seth. Seth can switch his moods at the drop of a hat and the gleam of hate he gets in his eyes whenever someone¡¯s gaze lingers too long in my direction is unnerving¡­as well as thrilling.

    ¡°I never expected Jackson to do something like that.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s unpredictable, that¡¯s for sure.¡±

    ¡°Time!¡± Darryl calls from a distance.

    I hear his chair creak and then the glass door open and close, leaving Seth and I alone. Seth¡¯s eyes flick between my eyes and my mouth in a way that makes my heart flutter and my stomach clench. He lowers himself, bending his arms at the elbows.

    ¡°I have food in the car,¡± I mutter as his lips graze mine, knowing if I let him kiss me I wouldn¡¯t¡ªcouldn¡¯t¡ªstop there.

    I smile as he moves across my face and kisses the top of my head. ¡°Then we should go.¡±

    Houses whip past me as I glance over my forearm and out the window. I don¡¯t pay attention to any of them, or at least I don¡¯t until the familiar houses on Seth¡¯s streets whirls into view. It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve been to Seth¡¯s house and the thought of being so close to him with a bed nearby is exciting. Seth demanded we take his car and leave mine at the gym. Regardless of my protesting, I did what he wanted. You know, the usual.

    As we pull into Seth¡¯s driveway, I spot a huge moving truck at the front.

    ¡°He¡¯s here already?¡± I¡¯m pouting. I thought Seth and I could have some alone time before anyone else showed up. Do you know how frustrating it is to have someone like Seth around you all the time but you can¡¯t touch them? All I want to do is to touch him¡ªhell, I even want to lick him, but I can¡¯t¡ªnot yesterday, not today, and probably not tomorrow, either.

    ¡°Looks like it.¡± Seth glances sideways at me and chuckles under his breath. ¡°It¡¯s okay, we have forever to do other things.¡±

    I feel my eyes widen a fraction as an unflinching Seth scans the driveway in front of us. Does he even know what he said?

    Forever.

    He wants to be with me forever¡­ I love Seth and I can¡¯t really picture my life without him, and he loves me too, God knows he says it enough, but I didn¡¯t know he¡¯s actually thinking about forever¡­is he even capable of forever?

    Seth shuts the engine off and slips from the car. He¡¯s at my side before I get my door open and flashes me a confident, yet slightly tired smile. That¡¯s what I like most about Seth. He¡¯s a gentleman¡ªwell, almost. He¡¯s the kind of gentleman that opens doors for you and then slaps you firmly on the ass as you pass by, all with an unapologetic smile plastered on his face.

    I slide from the car and he closes the door behind me. Seth¡¯s fingers entwine with mine and he pulls me alongside him all the way to the front door. He turns the handle and we enter the house. Boxes litter the hallway and fill the living room. I stop walking when I hear a giggle come from behind a tall tower of cardboard.

    ¡°I got here early, bro.¡± Jackson¡¯s voice calls out. ¡°I moved all of the boxes by myself¡­and, uh, you might want to give us a few minutes.¡±

    I angle my head to peer around a box, but I can¡¯t locate their exact position. When I hear a quiet moan, I snap upright. Oh. They need a few minutes because they¡¯re doing that.

    ¡°That¡¯s cool. I¡¯m going to have a shower, anyway.¡± With a shrug of his shoulders, Seth pulls me into the kitchen, up the stairs, and into his room. I feel better once inside. The last thing I want is to see Selena¡¯s or Jackson¡¯s junk. Don¡¯t they have any shame? First my couch and now this¡­my God. I would never have sex anywhere there¡¯d be a chance I¡¯d get caught. No way in hell.

    ¡°So you have that to look forward to now,¡± I tell him.

    Seth strolls into the bathroom and I follow. I lean against the wooden beam of the door when I get to it.

    ¡°It¡¯s nothing new. Jackson and I have lived together before¡­the shit I¡¯ve seen.¡± Seth shakes his head before he pulls his white tank top over it. My gaze flicks over his hard chest, following the sharp flow of muscles down to his ¡®V¡¯ shape. I wait for his hands to curl around his shorts and pull them down, but when they don¡¯t, I glance back to his face.

    ¡°What have you seen?¡± I ask, pretending I wasn¡¯t just ogling the hell out of him.

    ¡°Selena hasn¡¯t said anything?¡±

    I¡¯m really starting to wonder who her best friend is here. Why does Seth know everything and I¡¯m learning things second hand through him? I shake my head.

    ¡°Jackson is a very¡­difficult person to please.¡± I frown and Seth continues. ¡°Sexually.¡±

    ¡°Oh.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s into certain things. Public sex, being in control, toys¡ª¡±

    ¡°Toys?¡±

    ¡°He calls them toys, I call them weapons of torture.¡±

    I feel my face scrunch up. ¡°And Selena¡­she likes that sort of thing?¡±

    I watch as Seth opens the shower door and flicks on the water. When he steps back, his fingers curl around his shorts and he pushes them down his legs. My eyes flick over him, taking in every line, every shape and every shade. To be so perfect should be illegal and the punishment? Fifty tongue lashings to every perfect mound of muscle¡­what the hell is wrong with me? Reluctantly, I drag my eyes back to his face.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I haven¡¯t asked¡ªpersonally, I don¡¯t really care about their sex life. I am, however, extremely interested in ours.¡± His lips twitch. ¡°Are you joining me or are you just going to keep pretending you¡¯re not eye-fucking the shit out of me?¡±

    My mouth drops and an offended gust of air falls out. ¡°I¡¯m not eye-fucking you, I¡¯m admiring your physique. You¡¯re welcome.¡±

    He rolls his eyes and steps closer. I unintentionally hold my breath as his index finger hooks onto the collar of my tank top and he pulls me into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I swallow hard as his rough hands slide under my shirt and up the contour of my body. I lift my hands to help him get the shirt off as the room quickly fills with steam.

    His rough hands skim across the skin along my waist and hook onto my bra. ¡°The look but don¡¯t touch rule doesn¡¯t apply to us anymore.¡± He smiles.

    ¡°So it seems.¡±

    I feel my bra loosen and my chest become heavier as my breasts support themselves. I pull my bra down my arms and drop it onto the floor as Seth¡¯s fingers snake into my hair to release my locks from their tie. When he¡¯s done, I slide my shorts down the length of my legs and step out of them. I look at Seth and his eyes darken. A hot flush rolls through me, igniting a fire underneath my skin. It pulsates and flares, burning relentlessly and refusing to settle. I don¡¯t want it to stop and there¡¯s only one thing that can stop the fire tearing through me and it¡¯s right in front of me.

    Seth opens the shower door for me and I slip inside, immediately immersing myself in the hot stream. I step out of the way when Seth enters so he can have some water. I watch as he angles his head down, letting the streams crash into his head and shoulders and flowing down the length of his glorious body.

 Page 9

    ¡°Can I have some soap?¡± he asks.Advertisement

    I grab the bottle of body wash that sits on the top shelf and extend it to him. He doesn¡¯t take it.

    ¡°Put some in your hands.¡±

    Doing as he says, I squeeze a large amount into my hand and put the bottle back. Seth steps out of the water, his eyes still closed as small droplets run across his eyelids. Without another word, I reach out to him, coating his chest in a thin layer of soap. I can¡¯t hear his heavy breathing under the crashing flow of water, but I can see his parted lips, and under my hands his chest moves in a slow, deep rhythm. I massage his large, wide chest with my finger tips before flattening my palm and moving lower towards his alluringly stomach. I catch the inside corner of my bottom lip between my teeth as I trace the shallow grooves between each muscle and my body grows warmer every second my skin lingers on his.

    ¡°I¡¯ve missed your hands¡­¡± he mutters as he slumps into himself, completely relaxing under my touch.

    My hands continue to roam him, trailing between bumps of muscle and up his long arms. I¡¯m not sure how long I wash him for¡­minutes.

    Hours.

    Days.

    Who knows. What I do know though, is that I feel completely at peace here with him.

    Droplets of water slide over his mouth and glisten like crystals as they reflect the light. The drops pool together, continuing their journey down his chin, and meander over his throat, past his collarbones¡­I need to put my mouth on those collarbones.

    ¡°Tell me, Olivia¡­¡± The way he speaks sends vibrations through my bloodstream and directly between my legs. I look at his face¡ªhe¡¯s watching me closely. ¡°Did you touch yourself when you couldn¡¯t have me?¡±

    I never let my eyesight waver from his and I wait patiently for him to smile¡ªor do anything to tell me he¡¯s joking. Nothing happens. His eyes remain on mine, waiting for an honest answer. I ignore his large friend pointing at me and focus solely on his face.

    ¡°Yes.¡± Or at least I tried to. I never got very far because I wanted him to touch me. I tried to picture my hands as his, but they just weren¡¯t thick enough¡­or rough enough. His lips curl slightly and he steps forward.

    ¡°You¡¯re naughty.¡± He chuckles darkly. ¡°Show me.¡±

    I swallow hard. ¡°Show you what?¡± I ask, playing dumb.

    I know exactly what he wants me to show him, I¡¯m just buying myself more time to make up mind.

    ¡°Show me how you touch yourself when you¡¯re thinking about me.¡±

    I step back and my bare ass cheeks press against the glass. ¡°I can¡¯t.¡±

    Touching myself is something I¡¯ve only done in private time and sharing that with someone else seems¡­odd. He inches closer and snatches my wrist. I gasp as he pushes my own hand between my thighs and moves my fingers slowly against my soft flesh, under his guidance. Almost instantly, I notice an increase in my breathing and my arousal meter tips over the edge.

    Seth brings his mouth closer to mine and his warm breath collides with my face.

    ¡°I want you to do it,¡± I tell him as I slip my hand from his, making his hard fingers press firmly against my clit.

    It¡¯s exactly what I want¡ªrough and thick. The mere thought of his fingers touching me causes my breath to hitch and my knees to almost buckle. I press the palms of my hands against the glass, keeping my eyes on Seth¡¯s. He leans in close, and I flex my hips against his hand.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to rub you,¡± he states. ¡°But I am going to taste you.¡±

    His tongue flicks out and runs across the base of my ear lobe before tracing sensually along my jaw. My blood burns as my skin erupts with goosebumps. I roll my head to the side, giving him more flesh to lick as he lowers himself, nipping and sucking at my skin. His strong arm surrounds my waist as his mouth travels over my collarbone, down my chest, and over one of my nipples. I try to dig my fingers into the glass, but end up balling my fists instead as my heads falls back. My chest is heavy, filled with steam, but it¡¯s not the only reason I¡¯m breathing so deeply.

    I rake my teeth over my bottom lip as his hand glides smoothly between my legs, circling slowly. Keeping my hips still is impossible, but I manage to roll it to a slow, almost non-existent pace. I¡¯ve wanted him to touch me for so long and now that it¡¯s happening, I don¡¯t want it to end¡ªnot yet. I close my eyes while his mouth brushes over my belly button, across my hip and down to my thigh. A light moan slips from my lips as his hand curls around my knee and he hitches it over his shoulder. I open my eyes and glance down. He¡¯s staring hotly up at me, his eyes halved into lusty slits. Seth opens his mouth and my eyes grow heavier as he sensually slides his tongue directly over my center.

    ¡°Ohhh¡­¡± I moan, letting my head fall back against the glass. ¡°Seth¡­¡±

    The coarse feeling of his facial hair tickles me everywhere, forcing the sensation to build up quickly. My fingers slide across my own hips and into his hair, urging him harder onto me. His teeth move to my clit, biting and nipping. I pull his hair a little too roughly, causing him to moan and I feel it vibrate over every inch of my excited body. Sliding one hand from his hair, I guide it between my thighs and I feel the edge of his lips pressed eagerly against my smooth skin. He moves his mouth slightly, allowing me to feel his tongue dart in and out of me.

    ¡°Holy shit¡­¡± I moan.

    My legs start to shake as my orgasm builds rapidly, and as it¡¯s about to tip over the edge, Seth slips out from underneath my leg and grabs my hand, forcing both of our fingers onto my clit. He presses his whole body against mine, forcing my back hard against the glass. His mouth slams against mine, absorbing all of my panting as our fingers quickly rub my sensitive flesh, sending shockwaves of pleasure through me. I jolt forward, moans sounding deep in my chest as I taste my own excitement on Seth¡¯s tongue. His mouth doesn¡¯t let up until my legs quiver uncontrollably and my moans have subsided to deep slow breaths. He sucks my bottom lip between his and slides his hands up my side and around to my backside, pulling me hard against him.

    ¡°You will rub yourself for me next time.¡±

    I¡¯ve never seen Seth so demanding sexually before and it¡¯s exciting. I¡¯m ready to go again. I nod my head, pressing my mouth to his and tasting myself for the second time.

    He pulls away and plants a soft kiss on my nose. ¡°Let¡¯s get out and help Jackson unpack.¡±

    ¡°Wait. What about you?¡± I gesture to his obvious arousal and he smiles, stepping away from me and underneath the flow of the shower before turning the hot water off. His muscles tense as the cooler water runs over his body, taking his erection with it.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to have sex?¡± I ask, confused and disappointed.

    I want to have sex with him. Now.

    ¡°I want to have sex, but not in the shower and not when people are downstairs. When I take you again, I want you to be free to be as loud as you want, and trust me, when that time comes, you will be loud.¡±

    He turns the shower off and I follow him. As we step out onto the bath mat, he hands me a towel and I run it over my body, drying every droplet and wrapping it around my chest.

    I lean against the shower and watch Seth towel off. He runs the cloth up his arm and over his black tattoo¡ªa tattoo I still have no idea what it represents, but it sure is beautiful. It isn¡¯t tribal, that I know for sure, but the swirls and patterns would have you believe it is. The closer I look, the more the patterns look sharp and angry, but as they pass over the shoulder, the curves become more subtle and peaceful. My gaze drops to the one running across his hip. ¡®If you can make it through the night, there¡¯s a brighter day.¡¯

    I remember the first time I saw it. It was the very first time I saw Seth fight and win. ¡°When did you get that one?¡± I ask out of nowhere.

    Seth glances down and then goes back to running the towel through his hair. ¡°When I was sixteen.¡±

    I gape at him. ¡°Sixteen?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. I went through a bit of a dark period¡­¡± He chuckles. ¡°And I thought I was cool.¡±

    I shift my weight onto my other leg. ¡°Do you regret it?¡±

    ¡°No. I¡¯d never get a tattoo I¡¯d end up regretting. They all mean something to me.¡±

    ¡°All of them? Even that?¡± I ask, nodding my head toward his shoulder.

    He glances at his shoulder. ¡°Especially that.¡±

    I arch a brow and he sighs as he wraps the towel low on his hips.

    ¡°You¡¯re probably going to think it¡¯s stupid.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s tattooed on your skin so it obviously means a lot to you and I won¡¯t think something that means so much is stupid.¡±

    ¡°I started my shoulder tattoo when I was seventeen.¡± He points to his upper bicep and I make no comment on the absurdity of an underage teenager getting a tattoo. ¡°One day Dad and I got into a huge fight about responsibility¡ªor lack thereof. I got pissed off and being the spiteful asshole that I am, I went and got a tattoo. In the beginning it didn¡¯t really mean anything, just a bunch of angry lines¡­I would sit in the chair not saying a word and the guy would tattoo anything on me, going purely off my silence.¡± His finger follows the tattoo up to his shoulder. ¡°Over time, we started talking and I began opening up to him about my father and how he wasn¡¯t impressed with any decision I ever made, even if it was a good one. The tattoo guy¡ªDeclan¡ªwas fucking brilliant. He helped me through a lot of things.¡±

    My gaze follows Seth¡¯s finger as he traces his tattoo and then I see it. On his bicep is a bird¡­just sitting there with its wings at its sides¡ªyou can¡¯t see it clearly, it¡¯s made up of shapes and swirls, not concrete lines. As the tattoo progresses, there¡¯s another bird that stretches over his shoulder and onto his chest, wings spread and full of confidence. Now that I see them, I can¡¯t unsee them. They¡¯re as clear as day and I can¡¯t believe I didn¡¯t see it before.

    ¡°When my Dad died, I had the tattoo completed.¡± His finger strokes the confident bird. ¡°It might be a shit thing to say, but I think I¡¯m a happier person because of it.¡±

    He gives me a tight smile and drops his hands to adjust his towel.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe I didn¡¯t notice the birds before¡­¡± I say, changing the subject. I know how Seth doesn¡¯t like to linger on topics about his Dad for too long¡ªnot without getting pissed off, anyway.

    ¡°That¡¯s the whole point. I know they¡¯re there and what they mean, but to everyone else, I¡¯m just another douchebag with a tribal tattoo. Just the way I like it.¡±

    I laugh, sauntering closer. ¡°You have a lot of hidden secrets, don¡¯t you?¡±

    ¡°Experiences, yes. Secrets, no.¡±

    His arms surround me and the crisp clean scent of his skin filters in through my nostrils. I press my tongue against the roof of my mouth to avoid licking him.

    ¡°C¡¯mon. Let¡¯s help Jackson and then eat.¡±

    A single, burning hot tear rolls down my cheek and I swipe it away, blinking rapidly. Why does it hurt so damn much?

    ¡°Stupid onions.¡± I sniffle, dicing the last portion.

    When I¡¯m done, I drop the knife and dab my eyes with my tank top. I quickly scoop up the onions and drop them in with the rest of the salad before tossing it all together. I grab the bowl, a pair of tongs, and a small bottle of French dressing before strolling out the back door and onto Seth¡¯s back porch. It¡¯s a low and spacious concrete deck surrounded by small, sweet smelling bushes and long concrete columns. His backyard is large, filled with tiny fruit trees and huge terracotta pots. Up on the hill at the back is a big pool house with a large swimming pool to match.

    Helping Jackson with his boxes took hours, but he¡¯s almost set up now. I came across a few boxes he refused to let me open for sake of my own ¡®innocence¡¯ which both Seth and Selena found hilarious. Of course, that led to Jackson and Seth bringing up the strip club and how I reacted when Vivian, the stripper, grinded on me and sucked my lip into her mouth. Selena protested the fact I¡¯d never gone to a strip club with her, but I think I convinced her that I legitimately had no idea we were even going. Thankfully, nobody mentioned the incident with Don and I think all those involved appreciated it.

    I look around the backyard. The low lying sun coats everything in a golden light that makes my stomach flutter. Sometimes, it¡¯s the simple things that are breathtaking. Seth is truly living the life here and I feel bad that he has to leave his palace to visit me in Mom and Dad¡¯s house. I place the salad in the middle of the table and drop into the seat across from Selena. Apparently, Seth has to sit at the head of his table, just like my dad did at ours. It feels really nice¡­like I¡¯m home. Jackson ignores the salad and dives straight into his steak, making a big spectacle of it.

    ¡°Man, these steaks are killer!¡±

    Selena frowns at him with a small smile on the corner of her lips. I haven¡¯t really spoken to her yet. We haven¡¯t had time alone, but looking at her this afternoon, I¡¯d say she is one hundred percent happy with Jackson and he seems happy with her. I try to picture him pissed off and controlling, but I can¡¯t. He¡¯s too laid back and young to be so¡­difficult. The only strange thing about them is that they still claim they¡¯re just friends when I thought they were planning on dating after Seth¡¯s amateur tournament.

    ¡°I promise you, it¡¯s legitimately the best thing you¡¯ve ever eaten.¡± Jackson groans, sucking his finger.

    I grip my glass of red wine and bring it to my lips, taking a sip. Seth¡¯s chesty chuckle draws everyone¡¯s attention and he leans back in his chair, completely relaxed as he drags an index finger across his bottom lip. His dark eyes flick to me and his mouth curls into a cocky, unapologetic smile. ¡°I don¡¯t know about that,¡± he says.

 Page 10

    Wine catches in my throat and I choke, spluttering like an idiot.Advertisement

    ¡°Oh come on, you two!¡± Selena groans. ¡°We¡¯re eating dinner.¡±

    Jackson laughs, throwing his head back and exposing a mouth full of food. I feel my cheeks burn. I¡¯m glad someone is finding it so hilarious. Seth raises his glass of water to me before taking a mouthful and I scowl at him, but he doesn¡¯t care. He says and does whatever he wants. There¡¯s no censoring him¡­and maybe that¡¯s why I¡¯m so into him. He¡¯s unpredictable¡ªexciting. My scowl quickly melts into a grin and I bite my lip as I scoop salad onto my plate and mix it with my grilled chicken. I can¡¯t be mad about that, I suppose. It was a compliment, a naughty compliment I¡¯d rather he not repeat, but one nonetheless.

    ¡°Relax, Selena.¡± Seth laughs, sitting forward in his seat. ¡°My words have nothing on what you and Jackson were doing on the living room floor when we got home.¡±

    ¡°Maybe not, but after the shower you and Olivia took, I¡¯d say we¡¯re even,¡± Jackson chimes in with a flick of his eyebrows.

    Great. They heard it. I sit my glass down and scoop salad into my mouth, doing anything to prevent myself from being dragged into the conversation. Selena giggles, beaming widely at me and suddenly I¡¯m trying hard not to smile.

    ¡°What do you want me to say?¡± I ask her through chewed food. ¡°Sorry?¡±

    She flashes me her palms, biting back a smile. ¡°Nothing.¡±

    After that, dinner conversation flowed from naughty to naughtier. All of them are talking about things they¡¯ve seen in movies or strip clubs¡ªnot all of them appealing or sexy, either. Here¡¯s an interesting fact I learned, Jackson¡¯s favorite sex position is ¡®doggy style.¡¯ It turns out he¡¯s really into ass slapping and hair pulling. Selena giggles the whole time, agreeing with everything he said. Seth, however, refused to state his favorite, claiming he¡¯s easily pleased and they all work just fine. I refused to add any personal preferences to the conversation. Selena knows almost everything about me and I¡¯m glad she didn¡¯t spill any of my likes and dislikes over the dinner table.

    When Selena and Jackson turn to each other for a quick make out session, Seth leans closer to me. ¡°They¡¯ve been drinking since early this afternoon, just go with it.¡±

    Drinking since this afternoon? There¡¯s the Selena I know and lov¡ªam used to. I stab the last piece of chicken with my fork and put it into my mouth before dropping the fork back to my plate and pushing it aside. My stomach is heavy and I contemplate cutting my shorts to make more room for my food baby.

    As soon as I finish, Seth and Jackson rise from the table and gather the plates, leaving Selena and I alone. She jumps from her chair and gestures for me to follow her into the backyard. I slide from my chair and follow her. It isn¡¯t until I follow her past the pool house, into the pool yard and she pulls a cigarette from her bra that I realize she¡¯s come all the way out here to have a cigarette.

    She lights her cigarette and inhales deeply. She expels the smoke with a relaxed sigh and looks at me. I feel my brow arched and accusing.

    ¡°Jackson doesn¡¯t like it when I smoke,¡± she says with a small smile.

    ¡°So you hide from him?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t hide¡­okay, yeah, I hide. He¡¯s difficult to deal with and I¡¯d rather not frustrate him.¡±

    Am I the only who doesn¡¯t know who Jackson is?

    ¡°Did he almost punch your dad?¡± I ask out of nowhere.

    She shakes her head, almost disappointedly. ¡°Yeah¡­it was fucked up. He doesn¡¯t understand how Dad is. You know how he is, he¡¯s an asshole, he¡¯s strict and he expects a lot from me.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but you¡¯ve never really cared what he wanted you to do or become.¡±

    She shrugs, swaying slightly. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s sinking in now. I¡¯m turning twenty-fucking-four and I still act like I¡¯m seventeen. I want to grow up now and I think I¡¯m ready, but I don¡¯t know what I want. I don¡¯t know if I want to live with Dad anymore. I want to travel. I¡¯m not sure if I want to be with Jackson in the long run¡­I just don¡¯t know.¡± She rattles off her sentences in a random order, but I manage to keep up. Having a conversation with Selena about growing up is something I never thought I¡¯d share with her. Until recently, she was completely happy with her carefree life. What¡¯s changed?

    ¡°You don¡¯t know if you want to be with Jackson?¡±

    She drags an inhale through her cigarette, making the red ember at the end burn brightly. ¡°I really like him.¡± She exhales. ¡°But he isn¡¯t a long term kind of guy¡­and it¡¯s not like I¡¯m the only one he¡¯s had sex with in the past few weeks.¡±

    ¡°What? He cheated on yo¡ª¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not cheating, O. We¡¯re not together and at the time it happened, I was there too, but it felt different.¡±

    I cringe. Of course she was referring to a threesome. I bite my tongue and ask her what she means by different. I don¡¯t want to hear the dirty details of their sex life, but I am her best friend and she needs to get things off her chest, which means I have to step up to the plate.

    ¡°Normally, when I do those kinds of things I¡¯m okay with it¡­but the other week, when it happened I felt¡­almost disgusted.¡±

    ¡°Was it the other girl?¡±

    ¡°No, the other girl was perfect, practically a ten.¡±

    ¡°Then what was the problem?¡±

    Selena shrugs. ¡°I think I was jealous¡­ I didn¡¯t want to share him.¡±

    ¡°Awww!¡± I squeal, balling my hands into fists like an excited child. ¡°You like him! Like, like-like him.¡±

    She shakes her head again, like she¡¯s not happy about it. ¡°I don¡¯t want to like him¡­¡±

    She runs her hand over her face and I step closer to her, no longer caring about the cigarette smoke that engulfs me. ¡°Why not? What happened?¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s too¡­¡± I hear her voice shake and she clears his throat. ¡°He¡¯s difficult, O.I can¡¯t even begin to explain it to you. You won¡¯t make sense of it.¡±

    ¡°Try me.¡±

    She blows air out of her cheeks. ¡°He¡¯s very demanding, always needing things done a certain way and with sex, he needs hard and fast, pain and pleasure, all of that shit. He¡¯s damaged¡ªso fucking damaged, and I know I shouldn¡¯t bother with him, but I can¡¯t walk away.¡±

    ¡°If you¡¯re not happy, then leave.¡±

    ¡°I am happy, I¡¯m beyond happy with him, but he¡¯s not the kind of guy you¡¯re meant to fall for. He¡¯s the one you fuck once or twice and then move on. He isn¡¯t the one you settle down with.¡±

    ¡°So what if he isn¡¯t? You should at least try to communicate your feelings with him.¡±

    Selena laughs once. ¡°You¡¯re really cute, but Jackson isn¡¯t Seth. He isn¡¯t all badass with the boys and then cute and cuddly behind closed doors with his girl. Jackson is hard through and through and I wouldn¡¯t bring anything deep and meaningful up with him. I don¡¯t want to scare him away.¡±

    I open my mouth to tell her to take the plunge, but a swinging gate cuts me off. Selena drops her cigarette and stamps it out as she flicks her hair around her shoulders. From her back pocket she pulls a small bottle of mint mouth spray and sprays it on her tongue. I watch her, curiously as she runs her tongue over her teeth and shifts her weight onto her other leg like we¡¯re just standing here contemplating getting into the pool.

    ¡°I was going to suggest we watch a movie, but skinny dipping sounds much more fun,¡± Jackson announces, pulling his tight shirt over his head and exposing his rippling stomach. Selena giggles, pulling off her own shirt. She¡¯s looking a little softer these days, more curvy. It¡¯s amazing what a few extra pounds can do to your sex appeal. Her body is banging and Jackson appreciates it, too. Even in the faint glow of the pool light I can see his eyes greedily drinking in her features as she slips her little black skirt down her legs.

    ¡°Keep the underwear on,¡± I beg as Jackson¡¯s fingers curl around Selena¡¯s underwear and he tugs her closer to him. ¡°For my sake.¡±

    Suddenly, glowing lights inside rocks surrounding the edge of the pool flick on and I no longer have to rely on the dim light at the bottom of the pool as my main source of light. I glance around the yard, taking in all of the features I missed in the dark. The pool is a standard, jelly bean shape surrounded with dark rocks, giving off the perfect ¡®lagoon¡¯ effect. My gaze follows the pool from the pool house steps, across the water, over the spa and onto a gorgeous, wide sunbed underneath a beautiful, dark rock-like canopy.

    Jackson and Selena stroll hand in hand over to the steps and lower themselves into the water. They laugh and talk and whisper while I sit down on the edge, dipping my feet into the cool water.

    ¡°You managed to get them to keep their clothes on. Well done.¡± Seth chuckles, sitting down next to me and dipping his legs into the pool.

    Selena giggles as Jackson pulls her into him. I look over just in time to see his tongue flick out and lick her bottom lip.

    I laugh. ¡°I get the feeling it isn¡¯t going to last too long.¡±

    Seth¡¯s ankle hooks around mine and I glance down at our legs. I like Seth in shorts. I like seeing the definition in his claves¡ªso thick and perfectly shaped.

    I look back to Selena and Jackson. To me, they¡¯re the perfect couple. Both beautiful, both fun and carefree¡­I watch as Jackson¡¯s mouth sinks over Selena¡¯s throat and she gasps, wincing¡­and both unashamed of taking on an audience. I didn¡¯t think anything of it until Selena¡¯s black underwear floats by Seth and I.

    ¡°Time to go.¡± I groan, pulling my feet from the water.

    With a lazy laugh, Seth rises and follows. He walks closely behind me as I flee from the pool yard and return to the barbeque area. I grab my phone off the table and check the time. Quarter past seven.

    ¡°I should probably go now¡­¡± I tell him with a small pout.

    I want to stay with him, to finally sleep in his arms again, but I can¡¯t. Not tonight. With a small nod, Seth goes inside and retrieves his car keys off the bench. I follow him through the house, stepping over empty boxes and scrunched newspapers, before finally exiting out the front door. As we walk up the path, Seth threads his fingers through mine. ¡°You¡¯ll stay with me tomorrow night?¡±

    I can¡¯t help but smile up at him. Like I needed and invitation. ¡°Absolutely.¡±

    We approach his white Range Rover and he opens my door for me. ¡°Always the gentleman,¡± I say, slipping past him and sliding into my seat.

    ¡°A gentleman, you say?¡±

    ¡°Through and through.¡±

    His lips curve into his trademark smile. ¡°We¡¯ll have to change that.¡±

    He closes my door and circles the car, climbing in behind the driver¡¯s seat.

    ¡°Why do you want to change that?¡± I ask him out of curiosity. Being a gentleman is a good thing.

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t fit me, I¡¯m anything but gentle.¡±

    ¡°I disagree. You¡¯re very gentle¡­¡± I think about my words. ¡°¡­when you want to be.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well, don¡¯t tell anyone. I punch faces for a living, remember.¡± He smiles at me as he starts the car. ¡°Being gentle doesn¡¯t do much to help my intimidation factor.¡±

    He reverses out of the driveway and I watch his face. The small, happy twitch in his lips sends my heart fluttering. To think I make him so happy with my mere presence.

    Me.

    Olivia.

    The girl who refused to leave a shitty long term relationship with her cheating boyfriend, the girl whose sexual experience dwindles at two, the girl who ignored her work responsibilities the moment someone attractive was interested in her, and the girl who¡¯s too plain when put up against Seth¡¯s looks and out-going personality. Strangely, he sees me as his equal¡­ like I¡¯m just as intense and attractive as he is.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me what your favorite sex position is, by the way,¡± he says, moistening his bottom lip with his tongue.

    ¡°I like them all.¡±

    ¡°All of them? You don¡¯t have a specific favorite?¡±

    I shrug. ¡°You don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°I do, but I sure as shit wasn¡¯t going to share it Selena and Jackson.¡±

    I fold my arms. ¡°Okay, so what is it?¡±

    He glances sideways at me and then back to the road. ¡°You wanna know?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°You really wanna know?¡±

    I slap my palms onto my legs, impatient with his torture. ¡°Seth, come on!¡±

    ¡°With you, it¡¯s missionary.¡±

    A laugh forces its way up my throat and I cover my face with my hands. ¡°Missionary?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, missionary.¡± He seems almost offended. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with that?¡±

    I tuck my hair behind one ear and pull my hands away from my face. ¡°Nothing is wrong with it. I just assumed you¡¯d have a favorite that¡¯s a little more¡­dirty.¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, I like the others just as much, but with you missionary is my favorite. I like being close to you.¡±

    My chest stops hiccupping with giggles as an almost shy expression crosses Seth¡¯s features.

    ¡°I like being close to your lips¡­I like to feel your breath on my face or in my ear and I like it when your hands glide over my arms and shoulders.¡±

    He glances at me again, biting back a smile. ¡°Anyway, that¡¯s my reasoning. What¡¯s your favorite?¡±

    I purse my lips as I contemplate telling him or not. I don¡¯t want to because my position isn¡¯t the same as his and there¡¯s no way I can come up with a reason as sweet as that. Truth is, the position I like the best is purely for animalistic reasons. I like having Seth underneath me and between my legs. I like taking control of him for a change.

 Page 11

    ¡°All of the above.¡±Advertisement

    He laughs once and slaps the steering wheel. ¡°I knew you weren¡¯t going to tell me, I¡¯m such a sucker! I guess we¡¯re going to have to do them all.¡±

    ¡°All of them?¡± I squeeze my thighs tighter at the thought.

    He nods. ¡°I¡¯ll decide which one drives you crazy the most.¡±

    I roll my eyes. ¡°Of course you¡¯d turn this into a challenge.¡±

    ¡°Hell, yes, and it just might be my favorite challenge yet.¡±

    The car rolls to a stop in front of my house and I linger in my seat a little longer before I unclip my belt. I hate leaving Seth and I hate sleeping without him.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about your car. I¡¯ll pick it up for you tomorrow morning and bring it back before you start work.¡±

    I smile, remembering that my work is managing my father¡¯s old gym with my current professional fighter boyfriend. My life was so different a few months ago¡­who would¡¯ve thought I¡¯d be here now.

    ¡°You don¡¯t have to. I can catch a bus to the gym or walk.¡±

    ¡°Fuck that. Your car will be here waiting for you when you¡¯re ready to leave.¡±

    I nod, not wanting to upset Mr. Bossyboots. I lean across the center console and kiss him on his lips. ¡°Thank you.¡±

    He kisses me back. ¡°I¡¯ll see you in the morning. Tell your brother I said hi.¡±

    ¡°I will.¡± I grab my backpack off the floor between my feet and exit the car. Before I close the door, I turn to Seth and say, ¡°It¡¯s sitting on you, by the way.¡±

    He arches an eyebrow. ¡°Hm?¡±

    I casually sling my backpack over my shoulder. ¡°My favorite position¡­it¡¯s sitting on you.¡±

    His lips part as I close the door and step onto the sidewalk. Without looking back, I open the gate, walk up the path, and enter the house. My body buzzes at the thought of sexually frustrating him, and if that isn¡¯t going to keep him up tonight, then I don¡¯t know what will.

    Chapter Five

    Seth

    Holy fucking hell. I have half a mind to turn my car around, kick her door down and force her to ride me¡­I can¡¯t imagine her mother or her brother appreciating that very much, though. I smile to myself. What a sexy little minx. She did it on purpose, too; undoubtedly because I chose not to have sex in the shower tonight which, by the way, was a fucking hard decision, especially after I already had her taste on my tongue. I didn¡¯t avoid having sex with her purely because I wanted to rock her world without demeaning her in front of Jackson and Selena who, let¡¯s face it, love to torment her every chance they get. I also didn¡¯t have sex with her because I wanted to show her that I¡¯m more than happy taking care of her without wanting anything in return¡­girl¡¯s love that shit, right?

    ¡°I like being close to your lips¡­I like to feel your breath on my face or in my ear and I like it when your hands glide over my arms and shoulders.¡±

    To think the whole time I was thinking romantically, Olivia¡¯s train of thought was the complete opposite of mine¡ªnaughty. I never intended to say that to her. It just flowed so easily from me, without thought and it wasn¡¯t the first time today I¡¯d said something I never intended to. I told her this afternoon that we¡¯d have forever to do other things. What the hell was I thinking? Olivia and I haven¡¯t really spoken about the future. I¡¯m certain I want to marry her and be with her forever, but I know she doesn¡¯t expect that from me and I don¡¯t want to come off too strong. Will I ever have the balls to ask her what she wants? Will I ever have the balls to ask her to marry me? I¡¯ve come close to asking a million times, but I pussy out at the last minute. It¡¯s not like me. I¡¯m very upfront. I say what I want and ignore the consequences, but I can¡¯t fuck this up. It needs to be perfect. It needs to be everything she¡¯s ever wanted. When I said ¡®forever,¡¯ I felt her eyes on me¡ªanalyzing me. I wanted to look at her, to read her expression, but I didn¡¯t for sake of being scared to see her displeased. I felt the disbelief in her posture. It was an uncertain hunch, like she was unsure if I¡¯m for real or not.

    I am.

    I¡¯ve never been more certain of anything in my life. I need Olivia. I need her to wear the ring I give her, carry my last name, and live in the house I buy for us and our family, if we have one. I haven¡¯t asked her yet because I¡¯m scared. What if she says no? What if this relationship is only fun¡ªtemporary? I can¡¯t handle that. I can¡¯t take no for an answer and I won¡¯t. To be without her isn¡¯t an option. I run my hand over my face. There I go sounding like a fucking serial killer again. I can¡¯t help it, though. In my mind it¡¯s her or nothing.

    I open my door with caution, unsure of what I¡¯m walking into. Knowing Jackson, he¡¯d start in the pool and finish somewhere between the kitchen and the front door, doing God knows what. I slip inside and close the door behind me. The house is quiet. There are no moans¡ªor screams¡ªit¡¯s silent, as if everyone is in bed. With a sigh of relief, I kick off my shoes and pinch the bridge of my nose, hoping to fend off some of my tiredness until I get into bed.

    ¡°Hey man, you¡¯re back.¡±

    I stop in my tracks, slowly turning my head toward my living room. Jackson is sitting on the couch shirtless, but with pants on¡ªthank fuck¡ªand a cold beer in his hand. I scan the living room, looking for Selena. I wait a few seconds before I respond, expecting her to pop out from somewhere. She doesn¡¯t.

    ¡°She¡¯s sleeping,¡± Jackson says, sipping on his beer.

    I notice the way his jaw clenches and on Jackson, that¡¯s never a good sign. I wasn¡¯t gone longer than an hour, but I guess that¡¯s plenty of time for them to fuck and fight.

    I stroll into the living room and drop into the armchair, crossing my legs at the ankles. I never ask Jackson what happened. Usually, I wait until he finds the right words.

    ¡°I think I fucked up¡­¡±

    I don¡¯t say anything, not yet.

    ¡°She called me again.¡±

    My chest tightens and I sit forward in my chair. ¡°Amelia?¡±

    He nods, taking another large sip at his beer. ¡°She hasn¡¯t called me in months, not since I moved to Portland¡­I wasn¡¯t expecting her to call me ever again.¡±

    ¡°What did she want?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I told Selena to check my phone, thinking it was you, and she asked me who Amelia was.¡±

    He shakes his head. ¡°I couldn¡¯t tell her, Seth. I don¡¯t ever want her knowing who Amelia is¡­what she did¡ªwhat I did.¡±

    I nod. Amelia was Jackson¡¯s first love. The woman who literally chewed him up and spat him back out. She¡¯s a real piece of work¡ªa sadistic, controlling whore who loves nothing more than to fuck with people¡¯s minds. Feelings, love and sex¡­to her it¡¯s one big game.

    ¡°Always playing games,¡± I scoff, crossing my arms.

    ¡°You should have seen Selena¡¯s face¡­¡± Jackson rakes a hand through his hair.

    ¡°She went to bed straight after that?¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡±

    I frown. ¡°And you haven¡¯t gone up yet?¡±

    He shakes his head, his eyes flicking to his mobile phone. Motherfucker. He¡¯s waiting for Amelia to call back. Fuck no! She¡¯ll never talk to him again, not if I have anything to do with it. I launch myself out of my armchair, grab Jackson¡¯s phone and throw it, sending it crashing against my wall and falling into bits and pieces on the carpet.

    ¡°Fuck that shit, Jacks. What are you doing sitting down here and waiting for her to call you back? Don¡¯t you remember what state you were in the last time you let her sink her claws into you?¡±

    I do. I remember it clearly. He was fucked up on everything, drugs and alcohol¡ªhe was borderlining a trip to the mental hospital, that¡¯s how fucked up he was. No way am I going to let him go through that shit again.

    Jackson barely bats an eyelid as I tower over him.

    ¡°Put the goddamn beer down and get your ass upstairs before you do anymore damage.¡±

    Jackson may not admit it¡ªever¡ª(and I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m admitting it) but Selena is good for him. She¡¯s a lot like him in a way and can certainly take a lot of his shit. I thought Jackson was moving on from Amelia, the grown-ass woman who ruined his teenage years.

    Obviously not.

    I can¡¯t say what happened between them exactly because I don¡¯t know. Jackson refuses to tell anyone the full story.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go up there.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because I can¡¯t look her in the face, I can¡¯t explain what just happened.¡±

    ¡°Then don¡¯t, but don¡¯t sit down here leaving her alone all night upstairs with her own thoughts. You know how girls are, they over-think things.¡±

    He drops his head.

    ¡°Look at me,¡± I demand, my voice coming out a lot more aggressive than I really feel. He hesitates before dragging his green gaze to mine. ¡°When you first met Selena I told you to stay away because I didn¡¯t want your fucked up issues to ruin my chances with Olivia and somehow, I get the feeling you not going upstairs right now will do just that. You might be having fun and Selena might not mean much to you, but Olivia means the world to me and I won¡¯t let you fuck it up.¡±

    He grits his teeth before raking the top row across his bottom lip. ¡°You¡¯re wrong.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Selena means a lot to me¡­¡±

    I feel my face straighten out in surprise. There isn¡¯t much that can surprise me anymore, I¡¯ve seen it all¡­but this I didn¡¯t see coming. ¡°Then prove it.¡±

    With a heavy sigh, Jackson rises to his feet and slams back the rest of his beer. He hands the empty bottle to me and I take it.

    ¡°You owe me a phone.¡±

    ¡°Gladly.¡±

    I don¡¯t move until he disappears through the kitchen. When he¡¯s gone, I stroll from the living room into the kitchen. I drop the empty beer bottle into the bin and flick out the lights before sauntering up the stairs in the darkness. When I reach the top, I hear quiet murmurs of conversation coming from their room. I hope he tells her and I hope she takes it well¡ªwhatever ¡®it¡¯ is, and if he doesn¡¯t tell her, I hope one day he¡¯ll reveal his story, if not to me, then at least to someone he loves.

    (T-minus five days until Vegas)

    ¡°Roll into him, get away from his legs!¡± Darryl orders and I follow, rolling my hips and getting out of Jackson¡¯s submission. I push off of him, my chest burning heavily. Coming mainly from boxing, my ground work isn¡¯t too great and it takes a lot out of me once I¡¯m down. My main goal in any fight is to keep standing, be quick, and never give my back to the opponent. I get that once you¡¯re on the ground it¡¯s difficult to defend yourself when they¡¯re on top and punching you in the face, but the last thing you should do is roll over and give them your back. Rear naked chokes fucking suck and will have you tapping out like a bitch within seconds. Unfortunately for me, my first opponent is world wrestling champion, Junior Moset, known for his killer ground game and hardcore submissions.

    ¡°Good.¡± Darryl exhales, putting his stopwatch down and stepping onto the mat.

    We turned one of the training rooms into a private room for me, complete with my very own cage and training mats. The MMAC had issues with the way I trained and would prefer me to follow some of their methods¡ªmats, ropes, gloves¡ªeverything.

    ¡°Now I¡¯ll show you how to prevent a rear naked choke,¡± he says, sitting on the mat. He nods his head to Jackson and he slides in behind Darryl. ¡°Most rear naked chokes will come in from behind.¡±

    He shifts backwards and Jackson wraps his legs around Darryl¡¯s waist, attempting to hold him across the chest.

    ¡°What we don¡¯t want is for your opponent to connect his hands, because it won¡¯t take long for him to wrap that arm around your neck. As one hand comes over the shoulder and the other underneath the opposite arm, push your shoulders up and keep your chin down. Then, grab the upper and clamp down on the second so he has no mobility. When you¡¯ve done that, drive to the underhook side and put the back of your head on the floor.¡±

    I watch as Darryl plays it out with Jackson.

    ¡°As that happens, let go of his arm and wriggle until your shoulders and hips are firmly on the ground. As you get out¡ªand any good grappler will do this¡ªyour opponent is going to try and roll on top. When he does,¡± Darryl slides out from underneath his opponent, establishing a half guard. ¡°Go either half guard or full guard, keep him away with your legs, and work on getting yourself back to your feet.¡±

    Darryl jumps to his feet. ¡°Try it.¡±

    I drop into a seated position on the mat as Jackson wraps his legs around my waist. As his hands come around to choke me from behind, I grab his arm, clamp down, and drive myself to the side. I follow Darryl¡¯s orders step by step until I¡¯m on my back and keeping my opponent away with my feet.

    ¡°Great,¡± Darryl cheers. ¡°A few more techniques and hopefully we can perfect your ground work before the fight.¡±

    I climb to my feet and Darryl slaps me on the back as Jackson hands me a bottle of water. He smiles at me¡ªa genuine smile¡ªand I assume he and Selena made up last night. They were gone before I got up this morning. I stroll over to the windows and hit the button so I can see out into the gym. We¡¯re doing pretty well today¡ªespecially for this early in the morning. Classes are cranking, we have boxers, runners, cyclists, and rowers all doing their thing. It¡¯s good to see Rick¡¯s gym thriving without him. He¡¯d be very proud if he was here with us now. The elevated, happy feeling I¡¯ve got in the pit of my stomach drops the moment I see him step through the door. My stare rakes over his bald head and seedy face.

 Page 12

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± I swear, dropping my water bottle to the ground and tearing my door open.Advertisement

    I hear Jackson and Darryl curse and call my name, but I don¡¯t stop. No way in hell can I ignore that piece of shit walking around my gym.

    ¡°Don!¡± I shout, drawing the attention of a few gym goers.

    Him and his two boys turn slightly and they all smirk at me. I clench my fists. I can take them all, right now.

    ¡°Well, well, Mr. Professional Fighter. Long time no see.¡± I grit my teeth together at the sound of Don¡¯s voice.

    ¡°Seth, don¡¯t do it,¡± Jackson tells me. ¡°Let someone else deal with him.¡±

    I ignore him. Don is my problem, not anyone else¡¯s. He¡¯s heading for the stairs to the office, too and there¡¯s no way in hell I¡¯ll let him within ten feet of Olivia. I march right up to him, slipping in between him and the stairs. My entire body is clenched and ready to go. Don looks the same¡ªbald head and an angular face with a jaw made of glass. I know because I almost shattered it the last time we fought. I came close to breaking his arm, too.

    ¡°I thought I¡¯d come down and check out the gym set up of Portland¡¯s favorite fighter.¡± His smile widens. ¡°That¡¯s a mighty cute billboard you¡¯ve got outside, too.¡±

    Jackson laughs. ¡°Mighty cute? Jesus Christ.¡±

    Don¡¯s amused expression doesn¡¯t falter.

    ¡°What do you want, Don?¡± Darryl chimes in, but I don¡¯t take my eyes off of the bald asshole in front of me.

    ¡°I want to speak to the manager. My friends and I are looking for a new place to train.¡± He turns to his friends. ¡°What was her name? Pretty face, big, green eyes and a killer rack¡­¡± He snaps back to me with a click of his fingers. ¡°Olivia, yeah, that¡¯s it. She¡¯s the manager, isn¡¯t she?¡±

    I start forward, but Jackson slips in front of me, barely pressing his hands against my chest. ¡°Don¡¯t do it.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ve worked too hard, Seth,¡± Darryl adds.

    Don straightens his grey t-shirt and smiles wryly. ¡°Isn¡¯t that nice?¡±

    He attempts to step around me, but my arms shoot out and I shove him backwards. With a growl he launches forward, but Darryl grabs him, forcing him a few steps back and into his friends. Jackson¡¯s heels are digging into the ground, his shoulders pressing against me as he fights to keep me back from Don.

    ¡°Seth?¡± I hear her voice before I see her green eyes peer up at me from around my waist. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±

    Jackson steps away, knowing I¡¯d never bowl Olivia over to get to Don. I glance down at her and there¡¯s a worried expression on her face.

    ¡°There¡¯s the girl I wanted to see.¡± Don chuckles, licking his lips.

    Darryl steps back, but keeps his position between Don and I. Olivia¡¯s face falls and her eyebrows draw together. Slowly, she turns around and when she sees him, her shoulders square. ¡°What are you doing here?¡±

    He steps closer and Darryl doesn¡¯t budge. ¡°I¡¯ve come to scout a new gym. Some welcoming committee you have here. Do you treat all potential customers like this?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not welcome here.¡±

    I step closer to her, pressing my front against her back and planting my hand on her hip for support.

    Don nods slowly, clearly pissed off. What did he expect? Does he seriously think we¡¯ll open our doors to him?

    ¡°I see how it is.¡±

    ¡°Get out of here, Don,¡± Darryl demands, his fingers flexing at his sides.

    Don runs his hand over his bald head. ¡°Fine.¡± He looks Olivia dead in the eyes. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to you when your dogs aren¡¯t around.¡±

    I step around Olivia, my chest rumbling with anger. I don¡¯t know what happened next. There¡¯s a whole lot of shouting and people grabbing at me, and all I see is Don¡¯s face through a red haze. There are too many hands on me to count and I know more people have come to prevent me from smashing Don into a million pieces. Don is torn from the gym and I storm across the floor, ignoring all of the scared stares. I head straight for my training room, hearing smaller footsteps slap the floor behind me. He pisses me off and I fucking hate that I know I deserve all of it. Everything he¡¯s doing to me and Olivia is my fault. I can¡¯t even remember his girlfriend¡¯s name¡­that¡¯s what¡¯s really messed up. I always blamed her for what happened. I¡¯d always tell myself the she was the one that was unfaithful, not me¡ªwhich is true, in a way. I mean, I sure as shit I didn¡¯t force her to have sex with me. I can assure you she decided that on her own. I feel shit about it now, because I can¡¯t help but wonder if the girl I took from Don was his Olivia. What if she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but she turned out to be unfaithful? I¡¯m not going to call her a whore or a slut because, well, what does that say about me? It wasn¡¯t her fault, not entirely.

    Anyway, screw that. Don has done way too much shit for me to feel sorry for him now though, and every time I see his face, I can¡¯t help but think of his intentions with Olivia. I¡¯d die before I¡¯d let his unnerving gaze rest upon her naked perfection¡ªand the fucking nerve of him showing up here to talk to her!

    I grab a fifty kilo boxing bag off the floor and throw it, desperately needing something to take off the edge. I want to fight and I want to fight right now. I pace the room, not once looking at Olivia, who steps away from the door and makes her way slowly over to me.

    I feel her tension rolling off of her in waves and when I finally lift my eyes to her face, I can see she¡¯s trying desperately to hide it. My heart beats rapidly in my chest, sending adrenaline and anger through my veins. There¡¯s an ache there too, an ache that¡¯s trying desperately to cut off air to my lungs. I breathe quick and deep through my nose to prevent myself from really going off.

    ¡°I was so close to throwing it all away,¡± I tell her. ¡°One hit is all it would¡¯ve taken and I was willing to do it.¡± I shake my head. ¡°Why does he get to me so easily?¡±

    ¡°Don is irritating¡­he makes everyone want to kick him, it¡¯s just who he is.¡±

    I can¡¯t help the twitch that pulls at my lips. ¡°I thought that if I beat him, he¡¯d go away.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s a cockroach. He isn¡¯t ever going away,¡± Darryl says, scratching the top of his dark hair. I didn¡¯t notice him come in behind Olivia. ¡°He¡¯ll probably be right behind you for the rest of your life and you need to deal with it¡ªnot with your fists, but with your brain.¡±

    Jackson casually slings his arm around a dummy and says, ¡°You have what he wants and he isn¡¯t going to stop until he¡¯s higher than you¡ªproblem is, he¡¯ll never be higher than you.¡±

    ¡°What do you want me to do?¡±

    Olivia shrugs, her long dark hair sprawling further across her shoulders. ¡°It¡¯s simple. Ignore him and walk away. A person like Don doesn¡¯t like to be ignored. He craves the thrill of attention. Don''t give it to him.¡±

    The ache in my chest dulls, lessening my anger as well. I don''t think I¡¯ve had so much support in my life. It feels good.

    ¡°Okay.¡± I breathe. ¡°I¡¯m in the pros now¡­I need to think about my career.¡±

    Darryl claps, making the stopwatch around his neck jolt. ¡°Now that¡¯s sorted, we¡¯ve got training to do. Grappling, let¡¯s get into it.¡±

    After seeing Don, training flew by and Darryl seemed to be impressed with my ¡®aggressive¡¯ approach. It helped to picture Don¡¯s head on Jackson''s body, although I don¡¯t think Jackson appreciated it much. Especially when I hit too hard and split his lip. Olivia watched all of the ground training, but fled the room once we took it into the cage.

    Later, she resurfaced to tell me she¡¯s going home and she¡¯ll meet me at my house later tonight. I walked her to her car just to be safe, even though she told me it was unnecessary.

    ¡°Ready to go?¡± Darryl asks, shutting off the training room lights and pulling me from my thoughts of this afternoon.

    It¡¯s late, the sun barely high enough to produce proper lighting. All I want is to go home, have a shower, and spend the rest of the night in bed with Olivia.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I grab my shirt and pull it on over my head.

    My arms felt weak. We spent the whole day in the gym working on improving techniques and all I want is to rest.

    We stroll from the room and give the main area a once over before slipping out the door and locking it behind us.

    ¡°Tomorrow six a.m.¡±

    I nod. ¡°Got it.¡±

    I fish for my keys out of my pocket and out of nowhere a hard fist drives into my kidney, throwing me forward.

    ¡°What the f¡ª¡±

    I grunt as another fist clips the side of my cheek, causing my brain to roll in my head. In defense, I launch forward, ducking an arm and slamming someone in the ribs. Before I can throw another, a fist connects with my mouth and it starts to burn as an old cut splits against my teeth. Thick arms seize mine, pulling me upright to face the man in front of me. My eyes scan over a bald head and dark, green eyes.

    ¡°You motherfucker,¡± he growls. His arm snaps out and slams into my ribs, forcing the air out. ¡°You think you can disrespect me?¡±

    Another hit to my ribs has me hunching in pain. Fuck. It hurts to breathe. Don grabs a fistful of my hair and I spit blood at him. What a pussy, attacking me in the parking lot unexpectedly.

    ¡°Hey, Seth, tomor¡ª¡± I keep my eyes on Don as he whips around to see Darryl standing there. Darryl¡¯s car keys crash to the concrete and all emotion drains from his face. He has a cold look in his eyes, like he''s out for blood. He starts for Don and when he reaches him, Don throws a right hook that Darryl ducks before his fist connects with Don¡¯s jaw. Don stumbles under the force of Darryl¡¯s punch¡ªstunned that a man Darryl¡¯s age can rock him with one punch. Suddenly, I''m released and I waste no time diving forward to help Darryl. Don''s friends push Don out of the way, concealing him behind their back and they come down hard on Darryl and I.

    Darryl holds his own, fending off two guys as I take on the last. He¡¯s slow compared to me, and even with the pain searing through my chest, I out punch him a million to one. I grab his head and drag it down before I slam my knee into his nose. I feel warm, sticky blood seep down my leg and I let the guy go as he stumbles backwards clenching his face. Darryl is curled up on the ground next to me as two guys kick him with all the force they have. I launch for them, but Don joins the fight again, coming out of nowhere and thrusting himself into me. I stumble backwards as he grabs the collar of my shirt and swings. I just managed to duck it as he drops my shirt and delivers another strong hit to my ribs. Pain flares and my knees buckle. I fall to the ground, groaning and clenching my sides.

    ¡°Learn some fucking respect,¡± he growls before whistling to his dogs and storming off.

    Moaning, I drag myself to my feet, cradling my ribs. I didn¡¯t see that coming and I¡¯m too hurt to be pissed off right now, but tomorrow, when my brain isn¡¯t swelling against my skull, he¡¯s a fucking dead man. I watch as Darryl pulls himself to his feet, his face already bruising.

    ¡°Are you all right?¡± I ask, spitting blood onto the concrete.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me.¡± He coughs and winces, clenching his stomach. ¡°I¡¯m not the one with an interview next week¡ªlook at the size of the cut on your lip.¡±

    I run my tongue along it, feeling the tenderness immediately. Darryl reaches out and begins poking and prodding me, making sure nothing is broken and thankfully, nothing feels broken. Weak assholes couldn¡¯t even do a decent job

    ¡°He¡¯s going to fucki¡ª¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t do anything, Seth.¡± Darryl exhales, running his hands over his face.

    All pain drains from my body. ¡°You¡¯re not serious?¡±

    ¡°We have to deal with this professionally, police and everything. You can¡¯t risk losing your career over this.¡±

    ¡°What if I was with Olivia tonight? What if she got hurt instead of you?¡±

    His eyebrows furrow. ¡°You¡¯re my main concern, not her.¡±

    ¡°Fuck that,¡± I snap.

    I¡¯m too tired and too battered for this shit. Dropping my gaze, I shove my hands in my pocket, angrily digging for my keys. When I get them, I turn from Darryl and storm to my car.

    Wincing, I slide in and slam the door before turning my car on and zooming away. The aches of my body fade away as I try to come up with something to tell Olivia. I don¡¯t want her to come over tonight. I don¡¯t want her to see me like this.

    Chapter Six

    Olivia

    ¡°Come on!¡± Chase laughs, tilting his head back. ¡°It¡¯s not that bad.¡±

    I hold the photo of him at fourteen closer to the computer and point at his horrible undercut.

    ¡°Look at it! How can you look at that and think it looks good?¡±

    Chase laughs again, this time running a hand over his tired face.

    Our Skype session with Chase ended early last night because he was called out on duty at the last minute, so we rescheduled for tonight. I smile, looking at my brother. The buzz cut suits his strong face¡ªmuch better than his undercut did.

    ¡°How¡¯s Seth?¡± he asks, genuinely interested.

    ¡°Good.¡± I bite back a smile. ¡°I¡¯m staying at his place tonight.¡±

    His face scrunches and he flicks his hand at me. ¡°I don¡¯t want to know.¡±

    Growing up, my brother and I told each other everything. Even though we had our own friends at school, we¡¯d always come home and hang out with each other, sharing gossip about the other kids. We continued to share secrets and information up until we both became sexually active¡­after that, it got real awkward¡ªespecially when Chase started sleeping with a few of my friends.

 Page 13

    In the hidden pocket in my dress, my phone buzzed. I know it¡¯s either Seth or Darryl. They¡¯re closing the gym early tonight and they said they¡¯d call to let me know when it¡¯s all locked up. I slip my phone from my pocket and glance at the screen¡ª¡®Darryl¡¯¡ªthought so.Advertisement

    Taking the phone call as a heads up, I let it ring out, knowing it¡¯s nothing important.

    ¡°Is that Seth? Do you need to go?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°No, it¡¯s Seth¡¯s coach, Darryl. He said he¡¯d call me when the gym is all locked up.¡±

    ¡°Sweet. How¡¯s the gym going, anyway?¡±

    I smile widely. ¡°It¡¯s going great, actually. We¡¯ve tripled our sign ups.¡±

    My phone buzzes again, drawing my attention and I frown. ¡°Give me a second.¡± I grab my phone.

    ¡°Darryl?¡±

    ¡°Olivia¡­¡± He sighs in a tone that sends dread spiraling into the pit of my stomach. ¡°I¡¯m heading over to Seth¡¯s now¡­I think you should meet me there.¡±

    I¡¯m staring at the top of the desk and seeing nothing but Seth¡¯s face.

    ¡°Oli¡ª¡± Mom steps out of the kitchen and I silence her with a flash of my palm.

    ¡°Is everything okay?¡± I ask slowly, wondering what the hell could have happened in the gym.

    ¡°Not really, no.¡± Piece by piece, he rattles off what Don had done to them. Mom and Chase watch me and I can see their mouths move as they ask questions, but I can¡¯t hear them. By the end of it, my hands are shaking and my vision glazes over in a red haze. Don jumped them in the parking lot? Seth is hurt?

    ¡°I¡¯m on my way.¡±

    I hang up and leap from my chair, raking my fingers through my hair.

    ¡°O?¡± Chase asks, his face hard. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±

    ¡°Uh,¡± I shake my head, unable to repeat what Darryl told me.

    ¡°Liv?¡± he says, using his nickname for me. It¡¯s been so long since I¡¯ve heard it and it immediately clears my head. O, Olly, Liv, sometimes it¡¯s hard to keep up.

    ¡°Seth is hurt.¡±

    Mom gasps, her fingers reaching up to bridge her lips.

    ¡°I have to go.¡±

    I slip my phone into my pocket and run into the kitchen, grabbing my keys off the rack.

    ¡°I¡¯ll call you later,¡± I tell Mom without looking over my shoulder. ¡°You too, Chase.¡±

    I slam the door behind me and my heart begins to race as it all sinks in. I look at my phone. Why hasn¡¯t he called me?

    I practically jump into my car and speed away, going way over the speed limit. In the cup holder my phone buzzes and despite the risk, I grab it and read the message.

    FROM: SETH. TIME: 7:08PM

    Going to bed early tonight. Tired. Sorry.

    I drop my phone and press down harder on the accelerator. I shake my head, upset that he neglected to mention he¡¯s hurt in his vague text message. I know he doesn¡¯t want to see me, but I¡¯m not turning around, not when I know he¡¯s hurt.

    I make it to Seth¡¯s house in record time. His car is there¡ªand so are Darryl¡¯s and Jackson¡¯s. I park on a small angle along the road and barely wait before I turn my car off to get out. Unintentionally, I slam my door and my heart beats harder. Anxiety claws at my chest because I know he doesn¡¯t want to see me right now and I can only imagine how bad his pride hurts. My palms begin to sweat and I rub them together, praying that what I¡¯m about to walk into isn¡¯t going to be anything more than a busted lip.

    I shake the thought from my mind. If it were me, he¡¯d never leave my side. The round door knob fits perfectly into the palm of my hand and I turn the handle slowly before slipping into the hallway. Jackson is on me in an instant. His hair is disheveled and I swear I can feel the stress radiating off of him in intense surges. ¡°Heads up, he¡¯s in a really bad mood right now. We¡¯ve checked him out. There are no broken bones or fractured ribs, but he¡¯s a little bruised.¡±

    I slip past Jackson with a nod, ignoring both Selena and Darryl that sit on the couch, staring at nothing. I look at Seth. He keeps his gaze on the floor in front of him, not looking at me once, although I know he knows I¡¯m here. My heart swells in my chest as I scan his body. I see tiny droplets on his skin from a recent shower and even though he¡¯s in pain¡­I still feel the familiar desire flood my system. That desire quickly molds to anger as my eyes rests on his bruised ribs.

    ¡°Can you guys leave us alone for a minute?¡± I ask, never taking my eyes off Seth.

    He tilts his head up and his dark eyes flick to my face. At this angle, I can see the cut high on his cheek bone and the one on his lip has been reopened.

    When I hear the back sliding door close, I step forward, never dropping eye contact with him. ¡°Are you all right?¡± I ask, first and foremost.

    His jaw clenches. ¡°I think we both know I¡¯ve seen better days.¡±

    I ignore his attitude. I can¡¯t hold it against him, I¡¯d feel the same if I was in his shoes. Trying a different approach, I step closer and take his hand in mine. I tug on it and he pushes himself to his feet, gritting his teeth against the pain of the bruising. I pull him along¡ªthrough the kitchen up the stairs and into his room. I want privacy. I want to talk to him and take care of him¡­because he is mine to take care of.

    I close the door and wait until Seth has lowered himself on the bed. I flick the light off and kick off my shoes before sliding onto the bed next to him. Out of instinct, I reach out to him, running the open palm of my hand up his damp, hard body. The fresh scent of washed skin fills me and I slide closer, desperately needing to comfort him. As my hand passes over the side of his ribcage he flinches and I pull my hand back, gritting my teeth against a new bout of anger. After a few seconds, I touch him again, purposefully avoiding his tender ribs.

    I run my hand over his chest and he grabs my wrist, pulling it up to his mouth and kissing the tips of my fingers. I feel the uneven swells on his lip and my chest almost constricts.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t fight back?¡± I ask as he let my hand go and I move back to sliding it over his stomach.

    ¡°Of course I fought back,¡± he growls and it sends vibrations up my arms and through the rest of my body. ¡°It didn¡¯t matter. They caught me off guard.¡±

    I scowl, trying to picture how it all went down. I noticed Darryl looking a little beat up when I walked in, as well. Don attacked them both? I¡¯m so mad words can¡¯t even begin to describe it.

    ¡°How could Don do such a thing?¡±

    Seth scoffs, ¡°It¡¯s been a long time coming, O. I¡¯m surprised it didn¡¯t happen sooner. These are the consequences of being an asshole.¡±

    ¡°Asshole or not, you don¡¯t deserve to be beaten. He has to pay for what he did. We need to get him back, somehow.¡±

    Seth shifts on the bed, turning his body toward me. ¡°He will pay for what he did, but he will pay legally, not physically.¡±

    I hear the skeptical tone in his voice and I know he wishes it was the other way around, but there¡¯s no way Darryl or Jackson is going to let Seth get revenge on Don.

    Seth¡¯s large arms surround me and he pulls me into him, holding me slightly against his body. I close my eyes briefly as his thumb strokes my shoulder.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you call me?¡±

    I feel his body tense and he lets out a slow exhale. ¡°Because I didn¡¯t want you to see me like this¡­this isn¡¯t how a man should look¡ªall bloodied and bruised.¡± He shakes his head. ¡°I should have come out on top, if not for me, then at least for you.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think any less of you. In my eyes, you¡¯re still amazing¡ªbeyond amazing. I love you. You should¡¯ve called me instead of lying through text.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t lie to you.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to. You¡¯re guilty by omission.¡±

    His chest fills with air and he expels it with a defeated sigh. ¡°You¡¯re right. I should have called you.¡±

    Satisfied, I pull away from him and he rolls flat on his back. I rest my head on my hand and I don¡¯t say another word as I let my fingers trail his torso, feeling every line and muscle. His skin is soft and smooth, and my fingers glide over the surface easily, as if he were coated in baby oil. It bothers Seth to know he can¡¯t get back at Don, but I can. I can¡¯t get back at him physically, of course. There¡¯s no way I can go toe to toe with Don, even on a good day, but I don¡¯t have to lay a finger on him to bring him to his knees. Darryl knows we recently had cameras installed in and around our gym. I know he¡¯s going to use them against Don legally, but I want to be the one to tell him. I want to see Don¡¯s heart crash and watch everything he¡¯s worked so hard for become an unattainable dream.

    I don¡¯t know how long I waited for Seth¡¯s breathing to even, but it eventually does and in the dim lighting seeping through the bathroom door, I can see Seth¡¯s face. It¡¯s the perfect picture of calm. I drag the tips of my fingers from his chest down to his obliques. My fingers slide over the impressions and grooves and I feel his muscles contract briefly before completely relaxing under my touch. It sends a flustering heat through me and I can¡¯t help myself. I run my finger along the band of his shorts, tucking the tip of my index finger under the fabric. A deep, sleepy moan falls from Seth¡¯s lips and it sends an electrical current through me¡ªigniting my skin from my head to my toes. The urge to slip my hand in or to take him in my mouth while he sleeps is strong¡ªso strong I don¡¯t realize I¡¯m digging my fingers into his skin to stop myself from going further. Seth sighs, shifting his body in my direction. Oh, crap. I slip my hand away from him and roll out of the way before he can pin me beneath his large body. Believe me, there¡¯s nothing more I want right now than to be pinned between Seth and a comfortable mattress, but I have revenge to dish out.

    I know when Seth finds out what I¡¯m about to do he¡¯s going to flip, but hopefully he sees that I did it for him¡­ well, kind of. I¡¯m also doing it for me. Nothing will make me happier than knowing Don will never be in the same circles as Seth and I. He needs to be knocked down a peg or two and I¡¯ll happily be the person to do it.

    I slip off the bed and tip-toe to my shoes, putting them on one by one. I straighten myself and waste no time in opening the door and running from the room. As soon as I close his door behind me, adrenaline flares through my system, pumping hard and fast and kicking my heartbeat up a notch. I don¡¯t know much about Seth¡¯s sleeping pattern so I have to get out of here before he notices I¡¯m gone. I speed walk through the house and out into the backyard. Jackson, Darryl, and Selena are chilling in the barbeque area, not saying a word.

    ¡°Where¡¯s Don, Darryl?¡± I demand, placing my hands firmly on my hips.

    Darryl frowns, confused. Then, his eyes widen and he leaps from his chair. ¡°Are you insane?¡± he demands in a whisper. ¡°You¡¯re going to go see Don?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°I¡¯m not going to see him. I¡¯m going to destroy him.¡±

    He steps closer. ¡°You don¡¯t want to do that, Olivia. Seth will flip the fuck out and come looking for you.¡±

    ¡°Where is he?¡± I ask, emphasizing my words.

    ¡°You¡¯re out of your mind if you think I¡¯m going to send you to Don on your own.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll go with her,¡± Jackson offers, pushing himself off of a chair next to Selena.

    ¡°Jackson, you saw what they did to Seth. You¡¯re not going,¡± Selena protests.

    Jackson ignores her, keeping his eyes on Darryl. With a frustrated exhale, Selena pulls a cigarette from her pocket and ignites it, inhaling deeply. Jackson¡¯s eyes shift, zeroing in on her. Selena¡¯s green eyes settle on his face, almost like she¡¯s challenging him. Without hesitating, he yanks the cigarette from her lips before crushing it beneath his sneaker. Selena rolls her eyes, expelling the smoke before glancing at me. I guess she wasn¡¯t kidding when she said Jackson hates her smoking.

    There¡¯s a warning in Jackson¡¯s eyes before he turns them on Darryl. ¡°I know where he is. C¡¯mon, O.¡±

    Jackson grabs my arm and pulls me forward, but Darryl steps in front of us, blocking the door. ¡°If Seth wakes up and finds you gone, he¡¯s going to come down here looking for you. What do you expect me to tell him?¡±

    I shrug. ¡°Tell him the truth. I won¡¯t hide anything from him.¡±

    Darryl laughs once, running his hands over his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. ¡°Tell him the truth? Are you insane? If I tell him the truth, the only thing standing between him and you and Don is me, and I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ve noticed or not, but I¡¯ve already been treated like a fucking boxing bag today.¡±

    Sighing, I step closer to Darryl. ¡°You can go home. You don¡¯t have to have any part in this.¡±

    He blinks at me.

    ¡°Please, Darryl, move. I need to do this.¡±

    He exhales, shaking his head. ¡°He¡¯ll be at his gym on Weir Road. He has a night time training schedule on Tuesdays.¡±

    Before I can say thank you I¡¯ve already pushed past him and headed out the door with Jackson in tow.

    I drive fast, occasionally noticing Jackson wipe the palms of his hands over his jeans from time to time.

    ¡°Are you scared of Don?¡± I ask, gripping the steering wheel out of my own fear.

    He snorts, like I¡¯ve said something ridiculous. ¡°Don couldn¡¯t provoke fear in me even if he was a hundred feet tall and fifty feet wide.¡±

    My brows furrow.

    ¡°Seth, however,¡± he shakes his head. ¡°is a different situation entirely.¡±

    I chew my bottom lip. I¡¯ve seen Seth angry before, but I haven¡¯t seen him as angry as this will undoubtedly make him. Strangely though, I don¡¯t feel bad about it, and if I get out of this okay, then no harm done.

 Page 14

    ¡°I can take you back¡­it¡¯s not too late.¡±Advertisement

    ¡°No. I want to see Don¡¯s smug face fall when you tell him. I¡¯ll risk pissing off Seth for that.¡±

    I clench the steering wheel again. ¡°You really think he¡¯ll flip out?¡±

    ¡°Oh yeah, he is going to go mental.¡±

    Nervously, I unhand the steering wheel and slip my index finger into my mouth and begin to chew at the nail.

    ¡°Maybe I should crash at Selena¡¯s tonight¡­after this I can¡¯t imagine I¡¯m going to be too welcome,¡± he thinks aloud.

    Eager to change the subject away from Seth freaking out, I ask, ¡°Speaking of you and Selena, what¡¯s the deal?¡±

    He counters instantly, ¡°What¡¯s she told you?¡±

    ¡°Nothing, that¡¯s the thing¡­she usually tells me everything, but lately, nothing. I¡¯m trying to decide if it¡¯s because she¡¯s too happy or too unhappy.¡±

    Jackson runs his fingers through his hair. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s because you¡¯re both grownups now and don¡¯t need to share gossip like a pair of giggling teenagers.¡±

    I glance sideways at him.

    ¡°Sorry.¡± He exhales. ¡°I¡¯ve told Selena things about me that I¡¯d prefer she never repeats¡ªeven to you.¡±

    I wonder what¡¯s so bad about Jackson¡¯s past that has him so damaged? Seth claimed his own life was complicated, but besides a dead father, drunken mother, and a sister who ran away to Vegas with her wannabe rock star boyfriend, his life isn¡¯t too bad.

    ¡°There was a girl¡­¡± I prompt him, my eyes flick to him. I see him tense.

    ¡°No, there was a woman. ¡®Girl¡¯ implies there was some kind of vulnerability or innocence about her.¡±

    There¡¯s a lot of emotion to his tone, not love or longing, but hate¡­disgust. He swallows hard, as if trying to get rid of a bad taste.

    ¡°Was she¡ª¡±

    ¡°Look, you¡¯re cool and all, but I don¡¯t want to discuss what I went through with that whore. I haven¡¯t even told Seth the whole story and we¡¯ve been friends forever.¡± He flexes his fingers. ¡°I promised myself I¡¯d keep my hands to myself when I see Don tonight, but I can¡¯t if you¡¯re going to try and get in my head. As for Selena, if she was unhappy, she¡¯d leave.¡±

    ¡®If she was unhappy, she¡¯d leave.¡¯ That¡¯s true. I¡¯ve known Selena long enough to know she doesn¡¯t do anything she doesn¡¯t want to.

    ¡°Third building on your right,¡± Jackson mumbles, causing my heart to shoot into my throat.

    Suddenly, this feels like a bad idea. Images of Seth filter into my mind with his discolored ribs and busted lip¡­it¡¯s enough to clear my head and allow me to group my thoughts.

    Don hurt Seth.

    Don is going to continue to hurt Seth until he takes everything from him.

    I slam my foot on the brakes and the car jolts to a stop, sending Jackson and I shooting forward before our seatbelts catch us.

    ¡°What the fuck?¡± Jackson grunts.

    Without hesitating, I unclip my seatbelt and fumble to get my keys out of the ignition. Anger courses through me as I think about Don and how he¡¯s using me as a pawn in his game to get revenge on Seth. I keep moving erratically, knowing if I slow down now, my anger will fade. I need to act while it is still white hot.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I grumble at Jackson as I shoot myself out of the car.

    Without closing my door, I storm across the small parking lot and towards the modern gym in front of me. Jackson falls into step beside me.

    ¡°No fighting,¡± I clarify.

    He agrees, ¡°No fighting.¡±

    I slam my hands into the glass doors, pushing them open to let me through. I ignore the stares from late night gym goers and enter the main room. I eagerly scan the room for a tall, bald dickbag. When I spot him standing by the boxing, ring chatting and laughing with a massive guy who has a fresh swollen eye, I lose it. Inside, a pressure begins to build in my stomach before spilling over and filling my chest. I want to scream and cry. I want to kick him until he can¡¯t move¡­but I can¡¯t do any of that. That¡¯s what he wants¡­and I will never give him the satisfaction of getting what he wants.

    Instead of raging and mauling him to death with my claws, I plaster a wide smile on my face and stroll casually toward them. The hulk-like man slaps Don on the shoulder and nods in my direction. When Don¡¯s slimy gaze falls onto me, my skin crawls like a bucket of baby spiders have been poured over every single inch of my body.

    ¡°Olivia,¡± he purrs, leaving a bad taste in the back of my throat. ¡°What a nice surprise.¡±

    He smirks, turning his attention to Jackson. ¡°I see you only brought one of your dogs. The others weren¡¯t feeling up for the trip?¡±

    I step forward, desperately wanting to slap him or spit on him, but Jackson¡¯s finger hooks around the thin strap of my dress and pulls me backwards. I let out a slow, steady breath. ¡°Something like that,¡± I reply bluntly. ¡°Tell me, what¡¯s the next event you¡¯ve got coming up?¡±

    He shrugs. ¡°I have a fight scheduled.¡±

    I smile. ¡°It¡¯s not in Vegas, though, is it?¡±

    An electrical current flows through me as Don¡¯s smirk fades and just like that I¡¯m addicted to hurting him.

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry your pretty little head about me. I¡¯ll get to Vegas one day and I¡¯ll go through your boy to get there.¡±

    I stick my hands into my dress pockets. ¡°See, that¡¯s where you¡¯re wrong. Seth will make sure you never fight again.¡±

    Don chuckles and looks over his shoulder at his friend, who also happens to find what I said hilarious.

    ¡°I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but the only way Seth is going to stop me from fighting is if he breaks both my legs.¡±

    I shrug. ¡°Or if he has proof you hurt him and his coach and turns it in to the MMAC.¡±

    Don folds his arms over his chest in an attempt to come off as intimidating. I analyze his face, watching familiar emotions flicker over it. Disbelief shows first, followed by fear, then frustration before his lips finally curl upwards in a smug grin.

    ¡°Nice try, but you can¡¯t scare me.¡±

    Jackson lets my dress go and I take it as an indication to go in for the kill. I step forward. ¡°I¡¯m not trying to scare you, Don. Everything you and your friends did was caught on camera.¡±

    His smug smile falters, straightening into an impassive line. ¡°You¡¯re fucking lying,¡± he growls.

    I shake my head, smiling ever-so slightly. ¡°Afraid not.¡±

    Don watches me closely for a few seconds and when he realizes I¡¯m not fucking around, his eyes become glossy with various emotions. I can tell his brain is confused, unsure which feeling it wants the rest of the body to feel first. I know I shouldn¡¯t be enjoying this as much as I am, but I can¡¯t help it and the exciting, addicting feeling of seeing Don weak spurs me on.

    ¡°Look for a new career, because this one is closed to you.¡±

    It¡¯s like flipping on a switch¡ªone second he¡¯s dark and brooding and the next he¡¯s bright and alive, punching the massive guy behind him and dropping him to his knees. The force behind the hit jolts me back to my senses. Holy. Shit.

    He turns his dark eyes on me. ¡°If he uses those tapes I swear to God I¡¯ll kill him.¡±

    I swallow hard, taking a few small steps backwards and it isn¡¯t until Jackson¡¯s hand plants firmly on my back that I stop. ¡°You¡¯ve made your bed. Lie in it.¡±

    Don¡¯s arms shoot out and he grabs my forearms, squeezing me with unnecessary force. I gasp and grit my teeth against squeezing my eyes shut. I won¡¯t appear weak in front of him.

    ¡°Let her go, asshole,¡± Jackson demands, keeping his hand on my back for reassurance.

    Don ignores him, his dark, green stare remaining solely on my face. ¡°I¡¯m warning you,¡± he almost whispers. ¡°Don¡¯t fuck with me!¡± The rest of his sentence comes out in a mighty roar and it¡¯s so loud my head spins with a mild case of shell shock. He shoves me backwards and I don¡¯t stumble as Jackson¡¯s hand stabilizes me. Jackson launches himself forward, stepping in front of me. I can feel panic rising in my chest at the thought of Don and Jackson getting into a fight right now. I grab Jackson¡¯s arm and tug him backwards.

    ¡°No fighting,¡± I shout and he glances over his shoulder at me, clearly frustrated that I still want this meeting fist free. No longer interested in us, Don tears around the gym, punching and throwing things like we don¡¯t exist.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± Jackson demands, grabbing my elbow and pulling me towards the exit. People stare at us like we¡¯re criminals while others cower like we¡¯re going to kill them and when we pass a mother and her young boy no older than twelve. I stop. The mother grabs her son and pulls him into her.

    ¡°If you use it¡ª¡± Don shouts but we don¡¯t look over our shoulder. ¡°If you fucking use it¡ªlook out!¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± I mutter before Jackson nudges me out of the gym.

    I inhale the cool air, filling my lungs to maximum point and my hands begin to shake. I flex and shake them a few times in an attempt to get them to stop, but it doesn¡¯t work. I pull my car keys out of my pocket and hand them to Jackson, who¡¯s as calm as the eye of a storm. ¡°Can you drive?¡±

    He nods, takes the keys, and heads for the car.

    I follow him and climb into the passenger seat. He drives me back to Seth¡¯s house, neither of us saying a word about what happened tonight. I use the tips of my fingers to massage my temples, hoping to gain some composure. My heart is racing, not because of what I did, but because I know Seth will be up and waiting for me when I get home. I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s going to do, or what he¡¯s going to say, but I do know what I did tonight satisfied me and I won¡¯t apologize for it.

    Chapter Seven

    Seth

    With a groan, I roll off my stomach and aching ribs and onto my back. Sleeping is definitely going to suck for the next few days. I run my hands over the mattress in search of Olivia¡¯s warmth.

    Nothing.

    Slowly, I open my eyes and stretch further, feeling only the cool bed.

    ¡°Olivia?¡± I grumble, my voice husky with sleep.

    Nothing.

    What the hell? I push myself up into a sitting position ignoring the pain in my chest and the throbbing headache behind my eyes. I slide off the bed and waver uneasily on my feet before I slowly make my way out of the room. Downstairs, the lights are on and I can hear voices speak in low, cautious tones. I stroll through the kitchen and into the lounge room, frowning as my gaze settles on Selena and Darryl. Selena¡¯s eyes widen and she quickly averts her gaze before adjusting her dress and shifting uncomfortably on the couch. I look at Darryl and he analyzes my bruises at first, before his eyes flit to mine.

    ¡°Where¡¯s Olivia?¡± I ask and I swear I see Selena flinch out of the corner of my eye.

    ¡°She¡¯s out,¡± Darryl replies.

    Selena rises to her feet, drawing my gaze as she steps around the couch before trotting into the backyard. Alarm bells begin to ring as she closes the door behind her.

    I lean against the wall. ¡°Where¡¯d she go?¡±

    ¡°Her and Jackson¡­¡± he clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck,¡°¡­went to see Don.¡±

    I push off the wall as powerful anger rages through me, making my throat curl tightly around my words. Surely I heard that wrong. ¡°What did you say?¡±

    ¡°She went to see Don¡­¡±

    My jaw clamps down and I grit my teeth together. I let out a slow exhale, trying not to completely flip the fuck out. ¡°And you let her go?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t have a choice. It was me against Olivia and Jackson.¡±

    ¡°And you let him take her?¡± I¡¯m shouting now, unable to keep my cool. ¡°Are you fucking kidding me? How long have they been gone?¡±

    I pivot on my heel and storm into the kitchen, searching for my keys. I have to go and get her. Darryl strolls in behind me. ¡°Don¡¯t waste your time looking for your keys. Jackson took them so you couldn¡¯t follow them.¡±

    ¡°What the fuck!¡± Needing to take my anger out on something, I grab the fruit bowl off the bench and throw it across the kitchen. A familiar tightness overcomes my chest and my breathing deepens. I can feel panic rising inside me, but I can¡¯t calm down. Not until I see Olivia. Olivia¡­why the hell would she go and find Don? Is she out of her mind?

    ¡°Seth, calm down.¡±

    I laugh once. ¡°Calm down? You want me to calm down? Look at me. I¡¯m fucking bruised and beaten because of that asshole and I wake up to find my girlfriend has gone to pay him a visit. Sure, I¡¯ll calm down when she¡¯s here and safe with me. You want to hope for your sake there isn¡¯t a fucking scratch on her.¡±

    ¡°You know what? I don¡¯t need this shit. I¡¯m sore too, and I have a family that I need to spend time with before I have to get up early to train your ungrateful ass again.¡±

    Darryl turns and storms from the room. A few seconds later, I hear the front door slam shut. A growl tears from my chest and I grip the edge of the bench, squeezing as hard as I can. I can¡¯t just sit around and wait, I need to do something¡ªanything. Freeing the bench from my grip, I turn from the kitchen and march up the stairs. I flick my bedroom light on and head straight for the boxing bag hanging in the middle of my room. A nauseating pain cramps my stomach and I want to be sick¡­tossing the hanging gloves to the floor, I swing my fists into the bag, clenching my jaw against the pain every time I connect. If I don¡¯t punch or fuck until I¡¯m exhausted, there¡¯s no getting rid of the anxiety. It lingers, gnawing at me until I completely lose my mind and I¡¯m worried if I don¡¯t calm myself enough before Olivia makes it back (if she makes it back) I¡¯m going to both say and do something stupid.

 Page 15

    When my arms refuse to connect with as much force as I intend, I stop punching. Forty minutes I stood here punching this bag and still no Olivia. I squeeze my eyes shut and roll my head from side to side. I¡¯ll have a shower and if she¡¯s not back by then, I¡¯ll walk¡ªfuck it¡ªI¡¯ll run to her.Advertisement

    After I¡¯ve washed my body, I lean my head against the tiles, hoping any second now she¡¯ll come through that door. When I hear the bathroom door click shut, relief washes over me. The relief fades just as quickly as it came when I remember why I¡¯m feeling so shitty in the first place. Olivia left me while I was sleeping to go see my enemy¡­

    I shut the shower off and stand for a little while longer, letting the excess water run off of me. When I¡¯m done, I step out and she immediately hands me a towel. Without looking at her, I grab the towel and run it over my face. I have no idea what I¡¯m going to say yet and I¡¯m buying time, trying to talk myself out of saying something stupid. I drop the towel and wrap it low on my hips, and finally, I look at her and she almost flinches. She fingers the small black buttons that run up the front of her dress.

    ¡°Don hurt you¡ªand Darryl. I had to do something,¡± she says without any prompting from me.

    ¡°So you thought you¡¯d go and handle it without me?¡±

    She nods. ¡°Yes.¡±

    I grit my teeth and they ache slightly. I¡¯m doing that way too much tonight. ¡°Do you know how worried I¡¯ve been?¡±

    ¡°I thought you were sleeping.¡± She lowers her voice. ¡°I¡¯m capable of handling myself.¡±

    I almost laugh and she scowls at me, no longer intimidated. She thinks she¡¯s capable of handling herself against a fighter who would love nothing more than to get back at me? Yeah fucking right.

    ¡°What are you, one hundred and thirty pounds? I could lift your entire body weight on my fucking big toe, yet here you are walking around like you can¡¯t be touched.¡±

    Her thin, well-shaped eyebrows pull together. ¡°Don hurt you.¡±

    ¡°Yes!¡± I snap. ¡°He hurt me. Let me deal with it.¡±

    She steps toward me and digs her skinny index finger into my chest. ¡°You can¡¯t control me, Seth.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t control you? You think this is about controlling you?¡±

    ¡°Isn¡¯t it?¡±

    I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying for the one millionth time to control myself... and I fail. ¡°This is about you!¡± I yell and she takes a defensive step back, swallowing hard. ¡°Ever since I met you, you do stupid things that put you in danger! You have no consideration for anybody¡ªyou¡¯re selfish!¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m selfish?¡± she scoffs. ¡°I am far from selfish!¡±

    She turns from me and attempts to leave the bathroom, but I grab her by the elbow and pull her back, slamming the door shut.

    ¡°I¡¯m not finished,¡± I warn, holding her tightly against me.

    ¡°Well, I am.¡±

    She tries to pull her small frame away from me and gets nowhere. There¡¯s no way I¡¯m letting her go. Not yet. I drop my hand and grip her hips, lifting her and placing her on the counter. I slip between her legs and anchor her hips so she can¡¯t get away.

    Her eyes flare with anger and it stirs something wicked inside me. ¡°I¡¯m warning you, let me go.¡±

    I almost smile. ¡°What are you going to do, Olivia?¡± She claims she can handle herself and I want her to show me. She struggles against me and nothing happens. ¡°You can¡¯t do anything to help yourself and that¡¯s why you need me. We are together. We¡¯re meant to make decisions together. Isn¡¯t that what a relationship is? I mean, shit, you were the one in a relationship, so tell me why I¡¯m the one giving you the advice?¡±

    ¡°Seth, let me go.¡±

    I squeeze her harder. ¡°No.¡±

    She shuffles her hips forward abruptly, trying to slip off the counter. I grip her legs and yank her hips forward, forcing her thighs to wrap tightly around me. She gasps and presses a hand against my wet chest, arching her back in an attempt to lean away from me.

    ¡°I¡¯m not letting you go until you tell me I¡¯m right. You know I am.¡±

    She straightens her spine, bringing her delicious body closer to mine and getting right in my face. ¡°No.¡±

    So fucking stubborn.

    Her warm breath caresses my face and I look at her perfect lips. I lurch forward, slamming my mouth to hers. Her hands immediately slide around my neck, pressing me harder against her. I reach under her dress and roughly pull her panties to the side. She gasps against my mouth, dragging my bottom lip between her lips. I can see it in her face, she¡¯s pissed off, but she can¡¯t possibly be as pissed off as I am.

    I grasp the fabric of her dress and pull it open, sending buttons scattering along with my thoughts and exposing her body to me.

    ¡°What the fuc¡ª¡±I lace my fingers in her hair and force her mouth back to mine. Her ankles lock around me, pulling me closer¡ªso close I can feel the heat radiate from her.

    ¡°Tell me I¡¯m right,¡± I demand against her mouth.

    She bites down on my swollen lip, not giving a shit that it¡¯s sore. ¡°No.¡±

    Her quick, shallow breaths hit my skin as she lowers her mouth to my neck and licks my clean flesh. I feel her hands grip my towel and a second later it falls to the floor. Cool air clings to my skin, spurring me closer to her. Her lips suck and nip at my neck while her fingers wrap around my extremely hard length. She guides it toward her opening¡ªright where she wants me. I feel her wetness on the tip of my cock and I can¡¯t help myself. I groan, thrusting deep and hard. Olivia cries out, sending white hot arousal through my body, forcing me to go hard and fast .I look at her face. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is agape as she pants heavily. I grab her low on the hips, forcing her to move against me.

    ¡°I¡¯ll fuck you until you tell me I¡¯m right,¡± I rasp, dropping my mouth to her collar bone.

    I run my hands up her back before I entwine them in the base of her hair. I pull hard, tilting her head backwards and she moans loudly, my name sharp on her lips. Who would¡¯ve thought my sweet Olivia likes it rough? I drag my lips over her collar bone and up her neck. Every time I move inside her, I get closer and closer to release. I can feel her tightening around me and it¡¯s making it harder to hold on. I yank her bra down, letting her tits spill over the cups and I take one in my mouth. She presses her chest deeper into my mouth all while digging her nails into my flesh.

    I pull away. ¡°You fucking like that, don¡¯t you?¡±

    She rakes her teeth over her bottom lip, shaking her head. ¡°No, I¡¯m just humoring you.¡±

    I smile a little before pulling out and thrusting all of the way back in. She inhales sharply and grips me tighter. I pull her off the counter, grabbing her backside in large handfuls and whirl around on my heel, bracing her hard against the bathroom wall. Gravity forces her to settle fully onto my length and I clench my jaw as my body hums with intense sexual energy. Olivia leans back, showing off her perfect breasts that bounce every time my hips collide with hers. My fantasies of Olivia never do her justice. Her soft, pliable body is perfection from the strands of chocolate hair on her head to the hot fuck noises she makes as I thrust into her. I pull back from her and slip out. She groans, her eyes closing briefly and I bite the inside of my lip against a smirk. She¡¯s frustrated, although she¡¯ll never admit it. With a trembling breath, I propel myself back into her.

    ¡°Seth!¡± Her cry echoes around the bathroom, bouncing off the tiles and hitting me right in the sweet spot.

    I moan, dropping my mouth to her neck as her hand reaches out and she turns the door handle.

    ¡°Bed. Now,¡± she demands in a husky pant.

    I crush her against me, pulling her away from the wall and out into the bedroom. She rakes her fingers through my hair, harshly tugging on it and forcing my mouth to hers. Fuck the bed. I want her on the couch. My legs move quickly and I drop her onto the white fabric. Her eyes snap to mine and I know she¡¯s going to protest. Before she gets the chance, I grab her waist and flip her around. She rests over the back of the couch and glances at me over her shoulder with an uncertain look¡­the sight alone is enough to make me come. I kneel on the edge of the couch, lining myself exactly where I want to be. I grab her hip with one hand and her ass with the other, squeezing with enough pressure to let her know I¡¯m not going to be gentle. She started this. If she wants rough, she¡¯s going to get rough. I¡¯m going to fuck her hard until she comes and is begging for me to forgive her. She¡¯s a tiny woman but it isn¡¯t like she¡¯s made from glass. I enter her with a harsh thrust and she cries out at once. I watch her reactions every time the tip of me reaches maximum point, enjoying the way she claws at the couch as her body lurches from the impact. Her fingers dig into the fabric in an effort to keep herself steady. There are no pauses as I rear back and rock forward again, sheathing myself all the way to the hilt.

    ¡°More,¡± she mewls, grinding backwards on me. ¡°Harder.¡±

    With a growl, I pump her faster and harder. Every time, I pull back, she slams herself back onto me and I feel her muscles grip me tighter. The firmer she gets, the closer I come to, well, coming. I grit my teeth and slip my hand off her hip and around her stomach before gliding the tips of my fingers between her legs and into the creases of her sweet pussy.

    ¡°Oh, God,¡± she moans, her body speeding up in its movements.

    I feel her legs begin to tremble and I know she¡¯s close. As I circle her, I pound her harder and harder until she can¡¯t breathe, until she¡¯s trying to crawl away from me. One more thrust has her clenching me tightly and melting down with me deep inside her. The sound of her being taken away into bliss with my name a husky rasp on her lips is enough to send me over the edge and I sink over her, pressing my body against her back and unconsciously sinking my teeth into her shoulder as a powerful release surges from me.

    We rest in a piled heap on the couch until one of us has enough energy to move. When my arousal wears off, the ache in my body comes back full force. Shit. I should¡¯ve taken it a little easier. Without a word, Olivia slips out from underneath me and storms to the bathroom, shutting the door with a small slam behind her. I guess she¡¯s still pissed off that I called her selfish. I get it, it was a little harsh and I don¡¯t believe she¡¯s selfish, not like I am, anyway. She¡¯s done lots of selfless things for me, neglecting her job, for one. But when I called her selfish, I meant in terms of her decisions. She doesn¡¯t think about how her decisions affect anyone else¡ªgetting involved with me affected Mason and her mom. Going to dinner with Brent affected me¡ªseeing Don affected me. She doesn¡¯t think and that¡¯s the one thing that bugs me above all else. I have every right to be mad, not her.

    I push myself off the couch and stroll over to my wardrobe, not wanting to shower for the third time tonight. I grab a pair of sweat pants and slide them on before strolling to bed and climbing in. I lie flat on my back, choosing the least painful position for the best chance at getting some sleep. A few minutes later, Olivia emerges from the bathroom, her hair damp and sticking to her clean skin. Helping herself, she pulls a tank top from my wardrobe and a pair of black sweatpants, matching mine. Her eyes flick over to me as she pulls the white top over her head and covers her bare breasts. My gaze falls onto her shoulder, where I¡¯d bitten her. It¡¯s a little red; I didn¡¯t cut the skin, but it might bruise.

    ¡°Did I hurt you?¡± I ask, trying to keep the detached tone in my voice.

    ¡°No.¡±

    Her response is clipped and blunt and I can¡¯t help a small smile. She can¡¯t stay mad at me forever and I¡¯ve already forgiven her. Hell, my heart forgave her the moment she stepped into the bathroom, but my dick refused to. It wanted to punish her, to make her scream¡­it got what it wanted and now I know I have to apologize for calling her selfish, but my damn pride won¡¯t let me. I can¡¯t. If I apologize, it means I won¡¯t do it again and that I can¡¯t guarantee. I can¡¯t guarantee I¡¯m not going to say it again or say something even worse next time because that¡¯s what I do. According to Dad, I take every good thing I get and destroy it. I don¡¯t deserve good. I deserve nothing because I don¡¯t appreciate anything. Some inspiring, fatherly words right there.

    Olivia stalks toward the door with a frustrated sway in her hips. She flicks off the light, plunging the room into total darkness. I wait a few seconds before I feel the mattress sink slightly. I know she¡¯s got her back to me and instinctively, I reach out for her. Before I touch her, I quickly pull my hand back. All I want from her is a ¡®sorry I left without saying anything.¡¯ Is that so hard?

    I wait for a very long time¡­just waiting for her to sigh and apologize.

    Nothing.

    And it isn¡¯t until she mutters for someone to clean their machine and shifts in my direction that I realize I¡¯m not going to get one, at least, not while she¡¯s sleeping, anyway.

    Allowing myself one last feel of her skin before I drift off, I slip my hand underneath her shirt and run the palm of my hand down the side of her waist and over the rise of her hip. A soft sigh of relief escapes her and her body relaxes even more as she falls deeper into sleep. I pull my hand back and sling it over my head, covering my eyes.

    Why are we both so fucking stubborn?

    Chapter Eight

    Olivia

    (T-minus four days until Las Vegas)

    I stretch, spreading my legs and arching my back before I open my eyes. As they flutter open, I take in my surroundings and the sleeping giant next to me. He has an arm slung over his face and I can just see the cut on his lower lip. Dread rolls through me as I recall last night. It wasn¡¯t a dream.

 Page 16

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    I watch Seth for a little while longer, trying to find the right way to apologize. I know I¡¯m the one in the wrong. I know I should¡¯ve told him my plans and I definitely shouldn¡¯t have ignored him until I fell asleep last night, but what he said hurt me. I¡¯m not selfish¡­I can¡¯t be, not to him. I¡¯ve given up so much for him. I chose him over my job. I chose working at the gym over my writing. I haven¡¯t opened a Word document since we got together. I don¡¯t have time. Between Mom, Seth, and the gym, I can¡¯t do the things I want to do, but I¡¯m happy with that. Is that selfish? Is being there for him selfish? I grit my teeth.

    No.

    Seth shifts, moving his arm and rolling onto his side. His face contorts in pain before straightening itself out. My muscles relax from a cramp I didn¡¯t know I had. The thought of Seth waking up and being as angry as he was last night terrifies me. The dark, murderous look in his eyes when he stepped out of the shower last night is something I never want to see again. The sex was really good though, I can¡¯t complain about that. I didn¡¯t anticipate it happening, but he was so angry and intense and I wanted him to take it out on me, to punish me for leaving him. I reach out and run the tip of my finger over the back of his hand¡ªthe same hand that had gripped me so tightly last night as he fucked me hard and fast, sending endless amounts of electrical currents pulsing through me. I pull my hand back and squeeze my thighs together and wince at the tenderness. I¡¯m a little sore, last night was¡­passionate, to say the least.

    I sigh. Seth is used to getting his way and I know he expects me to cave in and apologize first¡­but I need him to know I won¡¯t take him talking to me like that. I am his equal, not a child¡ªeven though my actions say otherwise.

    I leave the bed and cringe at the ache in the muscles between my legs. Today is not going to be comfortable, that¡¯s for sure. I tip-toe from the room and down the stairs. Surprisingly, Selena is here eating breakfast at the counter. When we got home last night, Selena and Jackson left to stay at her house¡­Had they come back? Had they heard Seth and I last night?

    ¡°Morning.¡± Selena smiles tightly, licking her spoon. ¡°How¡¯d it go?¡±

    I run my hands over my face and lean on the breakfast bar. ¡°We argued.¡± And had epic sex. ¡°We haven¡¯t really spoken since then¡­¡±

    ¡°Yeah, Jackson demanded we come back this morning so he can talk to Seth.¡± She flicks her head toward the backyard. ¡°He¡¯s been sitting out there for over an hour now.¡±

    I look out the glass door and see Jackson sitting there on the chair, his face tired and worried.

    ¡°He didn¡¯t sleep last night,¡± she adds.

    ¡°Poor guy¡­It¡¯s my fault.¡±

    I hear heavy footsteps coming down the stairs and my entire body goes rigid. Seth is either going to ignore us, which I can handle, or he¡¯s going to lose his mind and kick the shit out of Jackson.

    I don¡¯t turn around to look at him as he steps into the kitchen and Selena drops her gaze to her bowl.

    ¡°Good morning, Selena,¡± he says coolly and I hear the fridge door open.

    ¡°Uh,¡± she mutters, confused. ¡°Good Morning.¡±

    I frown, looking over my shoulder and watch as he pulls a small bottle of milk from the fridge. He opens it and takes a long sip. When he puts it back, his eyes flick to me.

    ¡°I see waking up without you is becoming a routine.¡±

    My eyes narrow in on him and Selena shifts uncomfortably in her seat. He waits for a response, watching me unapologetically. He¡¯s not in the least bit uncomfortable about arguing in front of other people. Realizing I have no response for him, he strolls past me, running a hand over his chest and through his already disheveled hair as he steps outside and closes the door behind him.

    ¡°Well, that was awkward,¡± Selena mutters and bites her bottom lip as I glare at her.

    We watch as Jackson rises from his chair. His lips move fast as he explains last night to Seth. With every word, Seth¡¯s features darken and his hand shoots out, gripping Jackson by the collar and pulling him into him. Selena and I gasp, frightened a fight is about to break out. How the hell are we meant to stop that? Jackson remains cool and neutral¡ªnot scared, not worried¡ªnothing. It¡¯s like he¡¯s been through this a million times. Seth drops Jackson and storms back into the house. Selena looks away again, pretending she wasn¡¯t watching the interaction between the two boys. I don¡¯t look away. As Seth¡¯s dark gaze settles on me, I stare right back¡ªsadly, getting a little heated by the intensity in his face. He marches past, keeping eye contact until he passes me and heads back up the stairs. When he¡¯s gone, I pull a sour face.

    ¡°Wow, there really is a wedge between you two right now.¡±

    I sigh. ¡°You have no idea.¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t you talk to him?¡±

    ¡°Because it¡¯ll end up in an argument. He wants me to apologize¡­¡±

    She quirks an eyebrow. ¡°So do it. It¡¯s your fault.¡±

    Offended, I blow a gust of air out of my cheeks. ¡°Geez, tell it like it is much? I¡¯m not going to apologize first. He called me selfish.¡±

    Granted, when I say it aloud it sounds childish and stupid, and the look on Selena¡¯s face tells me I¡¯m not far from the truth.

    ¡°I can¡¯t apologize first. Not to Seth.¡± She doesn¡¯t understand what he¡¯s like. He thrives off power¡ªhe loves getting exactly what he wants. That¡¯s why he smiled at me last night before I switched the lights out. He expects it from me, but he won¡¯t get it until we¡¯re on equal ground¡ªuntil he engages me in a loving conversation.

    She gives me another one of those ¡®you¡¯re a moron¡¯ looks and I turn away from her.

    ¡°Do you have any clothes here? I need to borrow some,¡± I call over my shoulder.

    ¡°Yeah, in a bag on Jackson¡¯s floor,¡± she replies when I¡¯m halfway up the stairs. ¡°Apologize, O. It¡¯s your fault.¡±

    I roll my eyes and finish climbing the stairs. I sneak into Jackson¡¯s room and find Selena¡¯s bright purple suitcase open on the floor. Thankfully, Selena has been wearing jeans and shorts more often since being with Jackson, so when I fish through her clothes, I easily find a pair of jeans and a light cotton shirt to wear to work. I take the clothes to Seth¡¯s room and fortunately for me, he¡¯s in the shower. I get changed, managing to only just pull the shirt over my head as he enters the bedroom. I fight hard against the urge to let my eyes roam his body. I want to. I want to push him onto the couch and lick him everywhere, tasting his clean skin on my tongue as he entwines his fingers in my hair, pulling until my scalp burns.

    ¡°Olivia?¡± His rough voice snaps me back to attention and I realize I¡¯m staring.

    Goddamn it!

    ¡°What?¡± My voice comes out a lot more frustrated than I expected it to and I feel like an idiot.

    ¡°Are you ready?¡± I take in his fully clothed body, embarrassed that I completely zoned out thinking about all of the things I¡¯d do to him.

    ¡°Yep, let¡¯s go.¡± I whirl on my heel and stroll from the room.

    In the car, neither of us speaks. It¡¯s stupid, really. We aren¡¯t mad anymore, but we¡¯ve started a war we want the other to finish. Seth knows I¡¯m competitive, like I know he¡¯s competitive, and I can only see this game ending badly, but I can¡¯t swallow my pride.

    Not yet.

    I flinch away from the training room window as Seth slams his fist too hard into his partner¡¯s ribs. I see his flesh ripple and his ribs bend, reacting to Seth¡¯s force. The guy drops to his knees and Darryl bangs on the cage, throwing his clipboard across the room. Gritting my teeth, I push open the training room door. Seth knows to keep the windows blacked while he¡¯s sparring, I don¡¯t want to see it¡ªnot unless I have to.

    ¡°You¡¯re injured!¡± Darryl shouts. ¡°If you keep going full strength, it¡¯s going to take longer to heal, do you understand?¡±

    On the sideline, Jackson shakes his head at me, warning me off, but I¡¯m not going anywhere.

    ¡°Will you take it easy?¡± I demand, approaching the ring and crossing my arms.

    Seth turns his sweat-coated body in my direction, instantly making my breathing quicken. His chest moves quickly and his eyes are dark, like fresh coal.

    ¡°I can¡¯t keep hiring spar partners because you break your old ones. They¡¯re humans, not toys!¡±

    He watches me for a little while, his intense eyes never relenting, before he turns away. When his partner catches his breath and rises to his feet, they square off again. To further my point, I stay rooted in my spot and watch them circle each other. The guy launches forward and Seth sidesteps him, driving his fists twice into his partner¡¯s side and the other straight into his face. My insides clench, sending waves of fear curling through me.

    Like a tree cut from the base, he sways minutely before crashing to the ground with a loud thud. Seth casually turns to face me and I swallow down the sickness I feel in the pit of my stomach as he approaches the edge of the cage. He crouches, getting as close to eye level as he can.

    ¡°When you¡¯re ready, I¡¯m going to need a new one, and if it¡¯s not too much to ask, get me one that can actually take a punch.¡±

    And just like that I¡¯m transported back to the first time I met Seth. What a spoiled, aggressive asshole! I completely forgot what a major dick he can be.

    ¡°Do it yourself.¡±

    I storm from the training room, slapping the button to blacken the windows before I exit. I don¡¯t look over my shoulder, even when I hear him snap my name. Perhaps our game has gone too far. We¡¯re pushing each other now, deepening a disagreement that could have been resolved before we got up this morning, and unless this ends today, who knows what it¡¯s going to do to us in the long run.

    I leave the gym in a huff. The good thing about being your own boss is you can leave whenever you want. Although I don¡¯t think Seth will appreciate it too much¡ªor maybe he¡¯ll be relieved I left.

    I pull into Mom¡¯s driveway and turn my car off. I linger for a moment, thinking about Seth and how he¡¯s acting. To be annoyed with me because I went behind his back and refuse to apologize is one thing¡ªit¡¯s almost harmless¡ªbut to physically hurt someone else to get back at me is not okay and now I have a whole new reason to be mad.

    I exit my car and enter through the small, white picket gate. Beneath my feet, pebbles crunch and grind together. I like the sound. It reminds me of home¡­of Dad. I pull my key from the back pocket and unlock the door. Even though Mom is home, I¡¯d hate to wake her if she¡¯s napping. As the front door opens and I step inside, she shifts on the couch, drawing a tissue to her face. I quickly shut the door behind me and step toward her.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± she sniffles. ¡°I wasn¡¯t expecting you to be home this early.¡±

    I drop into the couch beside her, pulling her into me. She rests against me, patting her red face with a tissue. I often see her cry¡­and it never gets any easier. I purposefully avoid the home video playing on the TV and I hear Chase and I sing in the background.

    ¡°Happy birthday dear Daddy, happy birthday to youuuu!¡±

    His young laugh fills my ears and my eyes begin to well. I never thought I¡¯d hear it again, and it¡¯s a marvelous sound, but it¡¯s still too soon for me. I¡¯m not ready to hear him, not when I¡¯ve only just been able to stomach looking at photos of him. I swallow and my chest hiccups as I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth.

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Mom apologizes, shutting off the TV. ¡°I thought I¡¯d be okay seeing him by now.¡±

    ¡°Dad died, it¡¯s never going to be okay¡­and that¡¯s okay.¡±

    She wraps one arm around me and it feels bony. Mom has lost a lot of weight since Dad¡¯s funeral. She¡¯s never been a big girl, but she sure as hell hasn¡¯t been as tiny as she is now. I hold her for a little while longer. I think I almost fall asleep and before I fully drift off, I¡¯m jolted awake as Mom shifts away from me.

    ¡°Are you hungry? I have chicken wraps in the fridge.¡±

    Stifling a yawn, I shake my head. ¡°I didn¡¯t get a lot of sleep last night so I¡¯m probably going to take a quick nap.¡±

    Her eyes widen. ¡°Seth, that¡¯s right. I¡¯m so sorry, darling. I completely forgot. How is he? Is he okay?¡±

    I lick my bottom lip against a smile. For someone who seems to be so indifferent about him, she sure is worried.

    ¡°He¡¯s fine¡ªmore than fine. He¡¯s still his usual asshole-ish self.¡±

    ¡°What happened?¡±

    I don¡¯t want to go into details with Mom so I give her the simplest, quickest version I can. ¡°Seth has a long history with another fighter and last night it came back to bite him in the ass.¡± I roll my eyes unintentionally and Mom frowns.

    ¡°You¡¯re not happy?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m happy Seth is okay¡­after I saw him last night and he fell asleep, I went to see the other guy.¡±

    ¡°The one that hurt Seth?¡±

    I nod. ¡°I told him that we had the whole thing on camera, he lost his mind, and when I got back to Seth¡¯s, he was mad and we fought and then went to sleep. When we woke up, we were still mad at each other and we have been all morning.¡±

    She pinches her earlobe and the pretty pearl earring between her thumb and index finger. ¡°You didn¡¯t apologize?¡±

    ¡°Apologize? Mom, he called me selfish.¡±

    ¡°You left him while he was asleep to go and see the guy that hurt him¡­it¡¯s not exactly selfless. Why¡¯d you do it?¡±

 Page 17

    I shifted in my seat. ¡°Because¡­¡± My voice sounds whiny and juvenile, and I hate it. ¡°Don is an ass and I wanted to hurt him like he hurt Seth.¡±Advertisement

    ¡°You didn¡¯t think that maybe Seth would¡¯ve liked to be the one to bring Daniel¡¯s¡ª¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯s,¡± I correct her.

    ¡°Right¡ªI¡¯m sure Seth would¡¯ve liked to be the one to bring Don¡¯s world down¡ªbeing as arrogant and self-important as he is.¡± Mom bites back a smile. ¡°I hate to say it, honey, but you¡¯re the one who owes the apology here.¡±

    Mom on team Seth, who would have thought? I sink lower on the couch, instantly feeling like an idiot. ¡°How do you know when you¡¯re right and they¡¯re not?¡±

    She chuckles, slapping my arm. ¡°Oh, darling. Lesson one on men, they always think they¡¯re right¡ªespecially the fighter types. You want to come out on top? Don¡¯t sweat the small stuff. Let them think they¡¯re right. Like your father, Seth is going to say stupid, hurtful things to you at one time or another, nobody is perfect. Even the good ones have their moments, but at the end of the day, if they can make you feel loved beyond anything else, if they show you just how much you mean to them, then the other things are just bumps in an otherwise smooth pavement.¡±

    I nod my head. I never thought Mom could ever give me advice I¡¯d agree with. She¡¯s grown so much since Dad¡¯s death. I don¡¯t even know how to explain it. We have conversations without arguing¡ªactual full length conversations. I can¡¯t remember the last time we¡¯ve been so close.

    I¡¯ll go see Seth at lunch time and apologize for taking the satisfaction of seeing Don crumble. I can¡¯t give it back to him, but hopefully the apology is enough. Mom leaves the couch and enters the kitchen, allowing me to lie down and stretch out. My eyes become heavy and I yawn countless times before finally falling asleep.

    Three strong knocks rap on the door and my eyes shoot open. It¡¯s almost dark, the living room is two shades from being pitch black. I push myself off the couch and climb sleepily to my feet. My stomach growls and churns because I haven¡¯t eaten today. Instead of making me hungry, it puts me off the mere thought of food.

    There¡¯s another knock against the wood and I shuffle slowly towards it. I flick the light switch on and pull the door open. On the other side of the screen stands Seth in a white shirt that clings tightly to his chest and arms. My heart rate instantly skyrockets. Not out of fear or intimidation, but out of pure unwholesome desires¡ªoh, and the thought of having to apologize to him. He¡¯s going to make it as painful as possible.

    ¡°You¡¯re happy to see me, don¡¯t deny it.¡± He lowers his gaze to my breasts. ¡°Or at least your nipples are.¡±

    Ignoring my less than impressed expression, he opens the screen and holds it, all while looking at me like I¡¯m the most amusing thing on the planet.

    ¡°You¡¯ve been asleep this whole time?¡±

    I shrug. ¡°I didn¡¯t get a lot of sleep last night.¡± But of course he knows that.

    Seth¡¯s amused expression fades, turning serious. ¡°I won¡¯t have us fighting for a second longer, Olivia.¡± His voice is commanding, like he¡¯s ordering me to stop being mad at him. ¡°All you have to do is tell me I¡¯m¡ª¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± I interrupt him. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have gone to Don, or at the very least, I should have told you.¡± I step forward. ¡°And you shouldn¡¯t have hurt that guy to get back at me. That was cruel. Promise me you won¡¯t do that again.¡±

    He shakes his head. ¡°I can¡¯t promise you that.¡±

    ¡°Seth¡ª¡±

    He leans forward an inch. ¡°I¡¯m not going to promise you something I can¡¯t keep. I can promise you I¡¯ll always be here for you or that I¡¯ll never be unfaithful to you, but I can¡¯t promise I won¡¯t hurt you in other ways. It¡¯s what I do, it¡¯s who I am. I have strange outlets and it¡¯s how I deal with things.¡±

    I hug myself as the cool air brushes along my skin. ¡°But those people do nothing to you.¡±

    ¡°They signed a contract agreeing to be my punching bag wherever and however I please. If they don¡¯t like it, they can always leave.¡±

    The fact he¡¯s being so careless is beyond me and quite frankly, it pricks at my frustration levels.

    ¡°You know who I am. I¡¯ve been nothing but honest with you from the start. I won¡¯t change, not now. Not ever.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to change.¡±

    ¡°Then what do you want? What can I say¡ªor do¡ªor give you to make you happy?¡±

    I don¡¯t want to tell him what will make me happy. I want him to automatically know¡ªwhich has to be the stupidest thing I¡¯ve ever thought because even I don¡¯t know what I want¡ªI want him. I want us to be happy and not act like children.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to fight with you anymore. You win.¡±

    His face softens in a way that makes me want to squeeze him.

    ¡°I love winning¡­so why do I feel like shit right now?¡± He steps forward and playfully strokes my arm with his index finger. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s the huge puppy dog eyes you¡¯re giving me.¡±

    My lips curl into a smile. ¡°Does it make you feel bad?¡± I ask, flicking my eyelashes.

    Seth laughs once. ¡°Yes, actually, it does.¡±

    I step aside and Seth crosses the threshold and into the house. Before we settle in for night, I shut all of the curtains and checked all of the rooms. Strange. Mom isn¡¯t here. I stroll into the kitchen where Seth casually sits on the counter, drinking a big glass of cool water.

    ¡°Your Mom left you a note.¡± He hides his over-confident smile behind his glass as he takes another mouthful.

    Sprawled in elegant handwriting on the whiteboard stuck to the fridge, there¡¯s a message from Mom.

    ¡®Olivia,

    Will be out late tonight. Going on a dinner cruise with your Aunt Kate, remember?

    See you tomorrow morning.

    P.S.Who bit you? Never mind.¡¯

    I cringe, slipping my fingers under my cotton shirt and over the flesh Seth sank his teeth into last night. ¡°Well, that has to be the most awkward note I¡¯ve ever received.¡±

    Seth laughs, slipping off the counter and coming up behind me. I feel the hard front of his body graze faintly across my back and my breath hitches as his fingers curl around the edges of my hair and he pulls it across one shoulder. I take my fingers from the bite and almost immediately, Seth¡¯s lips sensually brush over it.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I bit you,¡± he murmurs deeply, sending shivers cascading down my spine. There¡¯s something about his low, husky voice that gets me every. Single. Time.

    ¡°Don¡¯t be sorry,¡± I breathe, my fingers trembling to touch him. ¡°I liked it.¡±

    And I did. No word of a lie. The frisson of energy his teeth sent through me as we both came was intoxicating and something I¡¯d let him do over and over again.

    ¡°This is much better.¡± I sigh, relaxing against him. ¡°I don¡¯t like fighting with you.¡±

    He smiles against my skin. ¡°Me either, but I don¡¯t regret it.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t?¡±

    ¡°No. I learned a lot of new things about you.¡±

    I turn around. ¡°Like what?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re passionate. You¡¯re stubborn, and you like it when I fuck you hard.¡±

    I almost choke, feeling my cheeks heat immediately. ¡°I do not.¡±

    My breath hitches as he comes at me, one hand snatches my wrists and the other swiftly grabs a handful of my ass. He slams me hard against the fridge and electrical currents flow through me, pooling in the most sensitive places as he pins my arms above my head. Embarrassingly, my breathing quickens and I soak my underwear.

    ¡°Told you,¡± he says.

    He doesn¡¯t smile¡ªthere¡¯s no victory to his expression, only darkness¡ªsweet, arousing, darkness¡­and I want all of it to myself. Forever.

    His mouth finds my neck and he roughly sucks and nips at me, and I grind my hips against him with urgency. I can feel him hard against his jeans and pressing eagerly into mine. I¡¯m ready for him to rip my clothes off and take me on the countertop right now¡­or at least I am until his phone rings.

    He pulls it from his back pocket and slips it onto the counter, all without taking his mouth from me. I¡¯m more than happy to ignore it. I want all of his attention on me¡ªwhere it counts. I hook my finger around the hem of his jeans and almost get the button undone when his phone rings again. He pulls away with a frustrated groan, and keeping my arms pinned above me, he grabs his phone. When he reads the screen he hesitates for a moment.

    ¡°California,¡± he mutters, answering it and putting it to his ear. ¡°Hello? Yes. Visits?¡± He pauses as the person speaks on the other end. ¡°How is she?¡± A longer pause. ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll be there the day after tomorrow.¡±

    He hangs up and frees my wrists. I wait for him to speak as he rakes his fingers through his hair and expels an exhale from his lips. ¡°We¡¯re going to California.¡±

    ¡°We? As in me and you?¡±

    He arches a brow. ¡°No, me and the fridge¡ªof course you and me.¡±

    I roll my eyes playfully at his sarcasm. ¡°What about the gym? Who¡¯s going¡ª¡±

    He silences me, pressing a finger against my lips, and bringing the phone back to his ear. I swat him away and he smiles, tucking his fingers into my jean pocket and tugging me closer. I laugh once as I push off of him and slip away from his hold.

    ¡°Jackson, it¡¯s me¡ªeverything¡¯s fine. I need you to book two tickets to California for tomorrow afternoon. Yes¡ªand look after the gym for a few days¡­¡± Seth frowns. ¡°Because I¡¯m going to California.¡± He laughs. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    I smile. I¡¯m glad they¡¯re on good terms again. He slaps his phone against the palm of his hand. ¡°Jackson has got the gym and Selena will probably help.¡±

    ¡°What about your training?¡±

    Seth leans against the kitchen counter crossing his legs at the ankles. ¡°I¡¯m not going to be able to sort that out over the phone.¡± He groans. ¡°I have to go.¡±

    My insides deflate. ¡°Go? You can¡¯t go. You were just¡ªwe were¡ªI was¡ªreally?¡±

    He chuckles, pushing himself off of the counter and circling me in his arms. ¡°I¡¯ll make it up to you, I promise. When we¡¯re in California, I¡¯ll do whatever you want me to do to you.¡±

    The thought of going to California to see Seth¡¯s mother suddenly becomes tolerable. ¡°Deal, but you better bring your A game.¡±

    His hand slips under the fabric of my shirt and around to the small of my back. ¡°Don¡¯t I always?¡±

    I smile. He sure does.

    Seth plants a quick kiss on my lips and stalks from the house, locking and closing my front door behind him. I drop into the couch with a heavy sigh. The thought of seeing Vanessa again makes me nervous¡­the last time I saw her, Seth was carrying her passed out from the police station. She¡¯s had finer moments, I¡¯m sure, and I hope she¡¯s better, for his sake. I think it¡¯d do him some good to have his mom back.

    Chapter Nine

    Seth

    Talking to Darryl about skipping on training for a few days is something that had to be done to his face. He isn¡¯t going to like it, but the truth is, I¡¯m fucking sore. My body aches, my ribs hurt, my face hurts, and I have a constant headache that¡¯s driving me insane.

    Sleep.

    I can¡¯t wait to climb into bed and fall asleep. Unfortunately, Darryl lives on the other side of town and I have to venture through a million and one traffic lights, meaning I¡¯m going to be driving for at least forty minutes there and back¡ªnot to mention the long, long conversation I¡¯m going to have with Darryl following my announcement.

    I roll to a stop outside Darryl¡¯s nice family home. It¡¯s small, but it gives off a loving vibe. It doesn¡¯t feel cold or emit an unwelcome feeling like my house does or the ones I grew up in. My parents were hardly home¡ªdinners were always frozen instead of fresh, leaving the kitchen feeling sterile. There was no warmth of a freshly cooked meal floating in the air¡­not that it matters now, I guess. I didn¡¯t really mind, it was all I knew.

    When I walked in on Olivia¡¯s family dinner months ago, before Rick died, I knew I¡¯d missed out on so much, but my kids will never have to. That I can guarantee.

    I shake my head, ignoring the thoughts. I¡¯m only twenty-four. No need for kids yet¡ªnot until I¡¯ve accomplished everything I need to. I don¡¯t want to be a fighter when I have kids. I don¡¯t want to drag Olivia to events and parties when she¡¯s pregnant. I smile at the thought of a small, round belly protruding from her t-shirts. A firm knock on my window forces the way too domesticated thoughts from my head. I¡¯m beginning to wonder exactly who is the female in this relationship¡­Darryl steps away from my door as I open it and I try hard not to laugh at his ¡®best dad in the world¡¯ pajamas and fail.

    ¡°Ha. Ha,¡± he deadpans. ¡°It¡¯s hilarious.¡±

    He shifts his shirt, pulling it around his shoulders more. ¡°When you have kids, you¡¯ll see how much strength it takes to actually use the gifts your kids buy you and then I¡¯ll be laughing at you.¡±

    The corner of his mouth curls upwards and I know he enjoys it more than he lets on. ¡°Anyway, you never visit me at home, not since the night you almost slept with Olivia and your mom was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning.¡±

    I swing my legs over the edge of my chair and rest my feet on the step. I remember that night. During the weeks Olivia and I couldn¡¯t have sex I remembered that night over and over, torturing myself. Had I known all of the things I said was going to end up being a waste of hot air, I would¡¯ve taken her right then and there, and I know it would have been the sweetest victory ever¡ªhad the hospital not called for the third time that week, that is.

 Page 18

    ¡°So, what¡¯s up?¡±Advertisement

    I¡¯m not one to beat around the bush, so I tell him. ¡°I¡¯m taking a few days off training.¡±

    His eyebrows draw together and I brace myself for the speech sure to follow. Surprisingly, they relax back to their natural curve. ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°Okay?¡±

    ¡°Sure.¡± He shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest. ¡°You need time to recover and if you keep going as hard as you did today, it¡¯ll take too long.¡± He paused. ¡°Are you and Olivia still fighting?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°No, we made up. We¡¯re going to California tomorrow to see Mom.¡±

    Darryl¡¯s eyebrows pull closer to the middle of his forehead again. ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s a good idea so close to a fight? You know how your mother is. You¡¯ve barely been anxious since she left.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not letting her out, Darryl, I¡¯m only going to see her to see if she¡¯s made progress.¡± And because every morning I wake up and she¡¯s not in the house, I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. Support, that¡¯s all she needs, but I don¡¯t have time to look after her and me, not now that I¡¯m in the pros. When the season ends, I¡¯ll contemplate signing her release. ¡°And I want Mom and Olivia to spend some time together.¡±

    ¡°Has your mother even met Olivia?¡±

    I nod, almost cringing at the memory. Mom had been drunk on both occasions¡ªcalling Olivia by another girl¡¯s name. ¡°I doubt she remembers, but yes.¡±

    ¡°As long as you rest, I don¡¯t see the harm in going to California. We¡¯re leaving for Vegas in two days and tomorrow morning, we have a meeting with the authorities and the MMAC to discuss suing Don and¡ª¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to sue him.¡±

    He inches closer to me. ¡°You don¡¯t want to sue him?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want his money. I want him out of fighting¡ªfor good. I don¡¯t want him to have the balls to even look at a glove, ever again.¡±

    Darryl rubs his forehead with the tips of his fingers. ¡°They¡¯re not going to go for that, they¡¯ve had their eyes on Don for a while. He¡¯s a good fighter, Seth, one that the company can benefit from.¡±

    There¡¯s no contest and I won¡¯t budge. ¡°Don will never fight in the MMAC again and I won¡¯t tolerate anything less.¡±

    ¡°And if they don¡¯t give you what you want?¡±

    I shift my weight. ¡°We were attacked outside our gym, unprovoked and unaware. They¡¯ll give me exactly what I ask for.¡±

    Darryl shakes his head. ¡°You¡¯ve yet to have your first fight and you¡¯re already threatening your employers.¡±

    I smile. ¡°What can I say? I¡¯m one of a kind.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s for sure.¡±

    My phone buzzes with a text message and I pull it from my pocket to take a look.

    FROM: JACKSON. TIME: 8:00P.M

    Flights booked. You leave day after tomorrow @ 5 a.m.

    I slip my phone back into my pocket. ¡°What time is the meeting?¡±

    ¡°Nine a.m.¡±

    ¡°All right, I¡¯ll see you then.¡±

    He extends his hand to me and I put mine in his. His long fingers clasp mine in a firm grip and he tugs me forward, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

    ¡°See you tomorrow.¡± He releases me. ¡°Who knows, maybe you¡¯ll find the right time to propose to Olivia in California.¡±

    I straighten myself in my chair and grip my door. ¡°Maybe.¡±

    The thought alone sends dread spiraling through my stomach. I¡¯m freaking out over a question I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll say yes to. A question¡­that¡¯s all it is. It¡¯s strange how something as small as talking can have me paralyzed with fear. I close my door and start my car. Chatting to Darryl didn¡¯t take as long as I expected. I can tell he needs a break, he seems tired, and a day or two should be plenty of time to refresh his body and mind. I didn¡¯t take it easy on him today¡ªespecially after last night¡ªand I still haven¡¯t apologized for getting pissed off at him, but I don¡¯t have to. He won¡¯t accept an apology. They make him uncomfortable. He prefers to forgive and forget with no heartfelt exchanges. That¡¯s just who he is.

    I contemplate going back to Olivia¡¯s house. Knowing her mom is out until God knows when is tempting¡­holding Olivia is tempting too, but I need sleep and I¡¯d never get my much needed sleep in a bed with someone like her¡ªnot until I exhaust every opening and every position.

    I pull out of Darryl¡¯s street, unsure where to go. I turn right, in the direction of Olivia¡¯s house. Ignoring the ¡®don¡¯t text and drive¡¯ sign I pass, I retrieve my phone from my pocket and send her a text message.

    TO: OLIVIA. TIME: 8:11 P.M.

    Go home or come to yours?

    A few minutes later, she replies. And what a reply it is. I¡¯d set the image she just sent me as my wallpaper, but such naked perfection is only meant for me. There¡¯s a caption too:

    You decide.

    In the picture, her dark hair is wet and it drapes down her glistening chest, barely settling above her gorgeous, pink nipples. I want to see her bottom half¡ªI want to see water glisten on the other parts of her body. The parts I¡¯d lick over and over without hesitation. That is my idea of heaven. Now, I¡¯m glad I turned right instead of left toward my house. Dropping my gaze to my phone routinely, I text back.

    TO: OLIVIA. TIME: 8:18 P.M.

    On my way. Don¡¯t you dare move.

    I drop my phone into the center console and press a little harder on the accelerator. I don¡¯t think I can get there fast enough.

    (T-minus three days until Las Vegas)

    I enter the gym with Darryl hot on my heels.

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re late¡ªeven after I told you we had a meeting this morning.¡±

    I hear the annoyance in his steps and I zone it out. I¡¯m not that late¡ªtwenty minutes, give or take a few. He follows me up the stairs, past the office and into the meeting room¡ªthe only room in this entire building I haven¡¯t been in.

    A long, varnished wooden table complete with big (and no doubt comfortable) chairs. It¡¯s very corporate compared to the old school styling outside of this room. My eyes drag over the men and woman sitting before me. They don¡¯t seem bothered that I¡¯m late. Then again, with ¡®suits¡¯ you can never really tell. They have their poker faces perfected.

    Darryl steps by me and into the room. ¡°Gentlemen¡­¡± he clears his throat. ¡°¡­and lady.¡±

    The caramel haired woman with the large whiskey eyes nods at him, acknowledging his correction. As Darryl goes back to addressing them, her eyes flick to me and I know that look. Her eyes are glossy, her cheeks slightly flushed. Lust. I¡¯ve seen it a million times and it doesn¡¯t really come any clearer than that. I think she¡¯s attractive. I like the way her hair is pulled back into a loose bun and I like her tight business dress, but the look on her face doesn¡¯t make my stomach clench. I don¡¯t want whiskey colored eyes looking at me from underneath slack, aroused eyelids. I want green¡­I want long chocolate hair and perky, natural breasts. Olivia. I want her, no one else.

    ¡°Where are we standing on the decision?¡± I ask.

    Darryl steps to the side and I drop into the chair at the head of the table.

    ¡°Well, we¡¯ve come to an agreement with Don¡¯s lawyers.¡±

    Thomas, MMAC¡¯s best lawyer replies, ¡°They¡¯re willing to pay a substantial amount of money to stop this from escalating.¡±

    I sit forward in my chair, resting my elbows on the table. ¡°I don¡¯t want his money.¡±

    Thomas¡¯s thick, dark eyebrows furrow. ¡°Your trainer told us¡ª¡±

    Darryl sighs, cutting him off and sitting in a spare chair. ¡°Forget what I said. Seth has his own idea about the outcome of this case.¡±

    Thomas knows exactly what I want and the stress on his face tells me he doesn¡¯t want to go that way.

    ¡°What do you want, Seth?¡± the woman asks, slipping the end of her pen between her lips.

    She knows what she¡¯s doing and I¡¯m sure many others have fallen for that whole ¡®sex kitten¡¯ vibe. Shit. I would have months ago.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want a single dime from him. I want him gone. No more competitions, no more training, and no more fights.¡±

    Thomas pulls his glasses down the bridge of his nose and off his face, before his beady blue eyes zero in on me.

    ¡°With all due respect, Mr. Marc¡ª¡±

    ¡°Seth,¡± I correct him. Mr. Marc sounds weird.

    ¡°Seth, sorry. The MMAC is in need of good fighters. Don Russell is our number two choice¡ªsecond to you. He¡¯s an asset we¡¯d like to possess when he¡¯s earned it.¡±

    ¡°You want someone like him to represent the MMAC? Look at my face.¡± I rise to my feet and tug my shirt up, exposing my darkened ribs. ¡°Look at my ribs. He isn¡¯t a fighter. He¡¯s a fucking pussy.¡±

    The young guy next to Thomas shifts in his seat and leans closer to mutter something into his ear. When he pulls away, Thomas clears his throat. ¡°I understand there was an incident in Boston during the amateur tournament¡­you hit Mr. Russell in the face?¡±

    I don¡¯t let my eyes waver from him. How does he know that? I thought the tapes were gone? I lower myself back into my seat. ¡°You¡¯re going to have to refresh my memory.¡±

    As Thomas glances down, I steal a look at Darryl, whose face is locked on me. He seems just as surprised.

    ¡°Mr. Russell¡¯s lawyers have informed us that you attacked him and his lady friend at the Polaris gentlemen¡¯s club in Boston.¡±

    Lady friend? I think for a moment and it isn¡¯t until Darryl laughs once under his breath I realize he¡¯s talking about Olivia.

    ¡°Lady friend? Is that what he called her?¡± I shake my head. ¡°Don was sexually harassing my girl. I didn¡¯t attack him for no reason. I was protecting her.¡±

    ¡°Regardless of what she was to you¡ª¡±

    ¡°Is,¡± I interrupt.

    ¡°Hm?¡±

    ¡°Is,¡± I say again. ¡°What she is to me. She¡¯s still mine.¡±

    I say it with a hell of a lot more possession than I intend.

    ¡°My mistake,¡± he replies, worried he¡¯s overstepped a boundary. ¡°Regardless of what she is to you, you broke the rules and he looked the other way. Don¡¯s lawyers and the MMAC are asking you to do the same, and they¡¯re offering you a substantial amount of money for it.¡±

    I snap. ¡°Rolling over and letting Don Russell fuck me in the ass is not something I¡¯m willing to do.¡±

    I won¡¯t budge. Never in a million years will I ever look weak in his eyes again. He will learn to fucking fear me. Thomas and the MMAC lawyers watch me with excitement. They enjoy the rivalry, but I don¡¯t want them getting any ideas about a rematch. He doesn¡¯t deserve to be in the same ring as me.

    Exhaling, Thomas shuts his folder. ¡°We¡¯ll have to do another hearing with his lawyers. You have rights and we don¡¯t want to take them away from you, but think about it. Having Don in the MMAC will benefit you immensely.¡±

    I don¡¯t reply. I think I¡¯ve said enough and I¡¯m sick of repeating myself.

    They trail out of the room, one after the other until there¡¯s no one left but Darryl and I.

    ¡°He¡¯s right,¡± Darryl announces after a few long seconds, leaning forward on his elbows. ¡°Having Don in the MMAC will be good for your career. Spectators love rivals¡ªit excites them.¡±

    ¡°My rivals don¡¯t begin and end with Don. I¡¯ve pissed off a lot of people¡ªI piss off Junior Moset all the time.¡±

    He shrugs. ¡°That¡¯s not rivalry. That¡¯s a little cocky banter. As far as I know, you haven¡¯t slept with his girlfriend. No one hates you like you Don hates you.¡± Darryl laughs loudly, making me smile. ¡°And he hates you so fucking much.¡±

    I shift in my seat. ¡°He has to go. I want to humiliate him¡ªto break him into tiny little pieces.¡±

    ¡°And the ring is the perfect place to do it. You¡¯re in the pros now. Every fight you¡¯re in will be broadcast to millions of viewers. You¡¯ve beat Don before. Do it again. Do it over and over until he begs you to leave him alone.¡±

    I lean back in my chair. I was right about them being comfortable, that¡¯s for sure. ¡°You don¡¯t understand. It isn¡¯t about beating him anymore. I¡¯ve done that. It¡¯s about closing old chapters and moving forward. I don¡¯t want Don in the MMAC because I¡¯m in the MMAC, which means Olivia will see him frequently. She knows why Don hates me, and I don¡¯t want her to get hurt because of something I did before I met her.¡±

    ¡°So this is about Olivia?¡±

    I begin to nod, but change my mind and start to shake my head. ¡°It¡¯s about moving forward. I¡¯ve changed and I don¡¯t want to be associated with the person I used to be.¡±

    Darryl sighs. ¡°They¡¯re not going to give you what you want. You know that, right?¡±

    I know that and I fucking hate it.

    ¡°Call my lawyers and have them call the MMAC. They need to be reminded of the rules. Don is out.¡±

    Chapter Ten

    Olivia

    My car rolls to a stop outside Seth¡¯s house. Thankfully, neither Jackson nor Selena¡¯s car is at the front and I¡¯m hoping they¡¯ve gone somewhere else for the night. Seth has told me all about his lovely plan for us¡ªdinner by the pool, wine, and a swim. I¡¯m excited. My blood flows rapidly through my veins, causing my head to spin like I¡¯ve already ingested alcohol. I didn¡¯t bring anything to swim in¡ªI did it on purpose, too. I¡¯ve never swum naked before in my life, even when Selena insisted it was cool and routinely did it in her pool. For me, being naked in a swimming pool just isn¡¯t something that I¡¯m into¡ªnot until now, that is. I slip from the car and approach the front door. I tug on the hem of my dress, hating that I chose to wear something so short and skipping on the underwear. It barely hits mid-thigh and I feel the loose, flowing fabric sweep across my backside. The dress is a nice royal blue and cuts low, exposing the sides of my breasts. I bought the dress two days ago. A little while back, Seth and I went shopping. He really liked the dress, but I insisted it was too ¡®out there.¡¯ I went back the next day and bought it, hoping we¡¯d have a secluded moment so I could wear it for him. I decided to wear my hair up in a messy bun tonight, too. If there¡¯s one thing I hate about swimming pools, it¡¯s getting chlorine in my hair. It makes it go all dry and stringy¡ªnot sexy, at all.

 Page 19

    I open the door and step inside. A delicious smell filters through my nose and my mouth instantly waters. Whatever he¡¯s cooking, it smells amazing. I don¡¯t pay attention to the dim lighting as I make my way toward the kitchen. My legs aren¡¯t going off orders from my brain, but from my stomach. It wants to fill itself with the delicious basil and tomato scent.Advertisement

    When I enter the kitchen, it¡¯s clean, only the warmth of a freshly cooked meal lingers in the air. I scan the room and wait a few seconds. Still no Seth. As I¡¯m about to step toward the living room to sit and wait for him, I notice the back door is open and I instinctively make my way towards it. I hear the sounds of cutlery clashing against porcelain and a curse word fall from his lips. He¡¯s in the pool yard, prepping our dinner. My heart flutters. I never expected Seth to be the cooking type. I mean, he obviously has to make crazy meals to keep his nutrition up, but cooking for two? It can¡¯t be something he¡¯s done before. I follow the stepping stones up to the gate and peer through the bars. The mere sight of him sends my heartbeat sky-rocketing¡ªloose jeans and a tight tee¡ªmy favorite. I like the way it stretches over his back, showing every line of muscle. He adjusts the huge bowl of pasta, shifts a chair and moves a glass of wine. He steps back and puts his hands on his hip, analyzing it. With a frustrated ¡®humph¡¯ he shifts the bowl back to its original position and pushes the second, wide chair away. As he nods approval to himself, I open the gate and it screeches. Slowly, he looks over his shoulder, his eyes immediately zeroing in on my legs.

    ¡°Don¡¯t you look¡­¡± His lips twitch as he recognizes the dress. ¡°¡­edible.¡±

    I feel my skin burn under his intense gaze and if it wasn¡¯t for my stomach growling, I would have skipped the meal and gone straight for dessert.

    ¡°You cooked.¡± I smile. ¡°It smells amazing.¡±

    Seth¡¯s lips curl into a proud smirk and he turns his body around to face me front on. ¡°I did. I made one gigantic bowl of pasta for us to share.¡±

    He¡¯s looking at me like I should say something and I bite back a laugh. ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°Okay? I thought you¡¯d be a little more excited than that.¡±

    I scratch my head. ¡°Over a bowl of pasta?¡±

    He laughs and the sound is so rough it sends goosebumps rippling over the surface of my skin. There are no words to describe the way someone¡¯s laugh elevates you higher than the clouds and no, Seth Rogen¡¯s laugh doesn¡¯t count, no matter how glorious it is and no matter how many times you set it as your notification tone and text yourself over and over just to hear it. I didn¡¯t do that¡­okay I did, but it was only my message tone for two days before I realized I¡¯d crossed the ¡®sane¡¯ line and frolicked dangerously on the edge of ¡®bat-shit crazy.¡¯

    It¡¯s strange how my body reacts to him. Last night, after I sent Seth the picture of me fresh out of the shower, he came over and spent the night with me. We didn¡¯t have sex¡­but he did spend most of the night with his face between my legs. Over and over and over he made me come¡­I thought I¡¯d be set on the orgasm front for a few days, but seeing him now, laughing and trying being all romantic, moistens me. I can feel it, slick and wet between my thighs.

    ¡°You¡¯ve seen Lady and the Tramp, right?¡± he asks.

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    ¡°Well, girls love Lady and the Tramp.¡± He¡¯s almost proud of himself.

    I laugh once at his reference to the iconic movie, famous for the ¡®pasta kiss.¡¯ ¡°Says who?¡±

    ¡°Selena was watching it when I got home this afternoon. She said you two have watched it a million times.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I agree. ¡°When we were twelve.¡±

    Seth rolls his eyes and places himself in his seat. ¡°Do you want to share a bowl of pasta with me or not?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d love to.¡± I stroll over to the empty chair and as I¡¯m about to drop into it, Seth clicks his tongue in a disapproving way. ¡°That¡¯s not your seat.¡±

    I pause mid-squat. ¡°Where do I sit?¡±

    His thick fingers nonchalantly tap his knee. ¡°Right here.¡±

    I quirk a brow. ¡°Wait, who¡¯s the tramp here? I don¡¯t think a lady would sit on a man¡¯s knee at the dinner table.¡±

    His eyes flare, apparently enjoying the banter. ¡°Sit on my knee before I bend you over it.¡±

    I comply because I know he¡¯s a man of his word. I slip onto his knees and he pulls me right into his chest, inching the glass table closer to us. I inhale subtly as his smell engulfs me. It¡¯s that clean, fresh out of the shower smell¡ªthe kind of smell that filters through your nose and lingers at the back of your throat, igniting your blood. You swallow hard in an attempt to quench the desire to lick the flesh the scent emanates from, only you can¡¯t. Nothing extinguishes the craving, not until the skin becomes slick with your saliva as your tongue glides over it ever so smoothly.

    He twirls his fork in the delicious chaos of pasta and sauce before bringing it to my lips. I open my mouth and he puts it in. I glance backwards at him and his eyes are locked on my mouth. They watch closely as my lips wrap around the food and I pull it off the fork.

    ¡°Are you ready for California tomorrow?¡±

    I nod, chewing my food. ¡°You?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡± He spins the fork in the pasta, pulling a forkful out for himself.

    I look around the pool yard. It really is beautiful. The lights are all on, giving the pool a beautiful, forbidden glow. Right now, I feel like I¡¯m in the jungle somewhere, near a hidden location untouched by anyone else. The rocks that house the lights look real. The blue water looks like it¡¯s glowing, and there¡¯s a chorus of chirps from crickets that make it all that much more believable.

    The pasta doesn¡¯t get finished, which makes Seth happy. It turns out he¡¯s a big fan of reheated foods, not me. It¡¯s fresh or nothing. When he takes the leftovers to put in the kitchen, I whip my dress over my head and unclip my bra. When he comes back, I¡¯m naked and waiting to get in the pool. As he opens the gate, he stops abruptly, his eyes completely glued to my naked body. I bite back a smile as his stare darkens and he pulls his t-shirt off in a single, fluid move. All of his hard muscles and tattoos are exposed to me and I try hard not to faint into the pool. Without saying a word, he stalks toward me¡ªhis naughty intent clear in his eyes and he doesn¡¯t stop until his warm torso is pressed firmly against mine, sending white hot arousal to every tip in my body¡ªhead, toes, fingers¡ªyou name it, it¡¯s there. My body buzzes as his eyes remain locked on mine while his thick fingers travel down my stomach before slipping right into my wetness. His free arm surrounds me, pulling me tightly against him and he lowers his mouth to my ear.

    ¡°You¡¯re so fucking wet,¡± he growls, firmly touching me.

    His voice, low and husky, vibrates through my body and I almost shiver. I groan in agreement and he chuckles darkly once under his breath. The sound sends a stronger arousal, pure and unmatched by any other feeling, rocketing through my system.

    ¡°We shouldn¡¯t be doing this outside,¡± I say, although I have no intention of stopping.

    This time, I shiver as his mouth moves to my ear and the very edge of his plump lip brushes against it. ¡°We should and we will.¡±¡¯

    The first stroke of his fingers causes me moan. It¡¯s loud, low and unbelievably shameless. It¡¯s a sound I shouldn¡¯t have made outside, but my care-factor for being seen or heard is suddenly below zero.

    Freeing myself from his pull, I step backwards, making my way down the steps of the pool. The warmish water laps at my ankles and then my shins. I move backwards, maintaining eye contact with the beast waiting on the sidelines who¡¯s watching me closely like I¡¯m his next meal. When the water breaks against my shoulders I stop, waiting for Seth to make his next move. There¡¯s a small smile on the corner of his lips as he pulls his belt off and tosses it to the side. I catch my lip in between my teeth as he pops the button on his jeans and drags down the zipper. I sink lower in the water, up to my neck¡ªuntil my hard breathing causes the surface to ripple.

    In one swift movement, Seth is naked¡ªall of him on show¡ªand he likes it. Quickly and with absolute purpose, he makes his descent into the water, barely flinching at the cool temperature. When he¡¯s shoulder deep and a short distance away from me, my body heats up and the water isn¡¯t enough to cool me down. I¡¯m certain if Seth doesn¡¯t put his hands on me right now, I¡¯m going to implode.

    When he finally does reach me, I realize I¡¯ve backed all the way up to the wall and now my backside is pressing hard against the smooth pebbles. Seth lowers himself so he¡¯s eye level with me and his hands grip the edge of the pool, either side of my head.

    The glow of the pool darkens his features and I drag my gaze over his jet black hair, dark eyes, the healing cut on his cheek and finally, a set of full lips¡ªall of them are only a few painful inches away from me. Thankfully, he decides to close the distance and bring his mouth to mine. Surprisingly, the kiss is at a much slower pace than what I was expecting¡ªit¡¯s sensual and stokes the small flames inside me. Without breaking the kiss, his hands drop from the edge of the pool and slip onto the nape of my neck. As soon as they touch my flesh, they begin their descent over my shoulders, down my arms, and circle my waist. I inch closer to him, reveling in the sensation of his bare, rough hands on my exposed skin. Even in the silky water his hands feel rough and invigorating.

    A small quiver rolls down my spine and I feel his lips twitch before he pulls his head back to look at me.

    ¡°I love the way you react to me.¡± Ever so slowly, the hands that hold my waist glide higher again, until his thumb brushes against the swell of my breast.

    ¡°Yeah?¡±

    He nods once, smiling his beautiful smile. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    Seth leans closer to me, bringing his gorgeous lips right by my ear. I listen closely and he moans his own name, mimicking me, and a jolt of embarrassed energy frissons through me. I shove him backwards.

    ¡°Seth!¡± I squeal, feeling my face heat up. ¡°Don¡¯t!¡±

    I can see it on his face¡ªthe way his playful expression leers at me¡ªhe loves the reaction I¡¯m giving him.

    ¡°Oh, Seth,¡± he says in his best ¡®Olivia¡¯ voice. ¡°I fucking love that. Do it again.¡±

    ¡°Seth!¡± I try really hard to sound threatening and not amused by his taunting, but it¡¯s just not working.

    ¡°You¡¯re the best I¡¯ve ever had,¡± he continues, boosting his ego sky high. ¡°Harder. Faster.¡±

    He knows he¡¯s the best I¡¯ve had and he loves it. I launch forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him against me. ¡°You need to stop before I drown you.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t like hearing how sexy you sound?¡± His hands travel down to my backside and he lifts me, forcing me to wrap my legs around his hips.

    ¡°It¡¯s not sexy¡ªat least not when you repeat it back to me in that horrible tone.¡±

    ¡°Horrible tone? I¡¯m so good at impersonating you that I gave myself a boner.¡±

    I almost choke on a laugh and attempt to push off of him, only he squeezes me harder against him and I can¡¯t get away.

    ¡°You are a piece of work, you know that? I sound nothing like that. You¡ª¡±

    His glorious lips cut me off and my eyes flutter shut on instinct. Such a typical Seth move, thinking he can shut me up with his mouth. I¡¯ll show him¡ª

    In a minute¡­

    ¡­when his mouth stops feeling so damn amazing.

    My brain wants to contest Seth, to fight him for being so pert, but my lady parts want other things and they know exactly how to silence my brain.

    My hands whip through his hair, following the orders of my hormones instead of my brain. They slide over his strong shoulders, the defined muscles of his back and down his solid arms. He kisses me down my neck and continues on his familiar route to my collarbone¡ªI love it when he kisses my collarbone. At the apex of my thighs, I can feel his length waiting patiently for us to get the show on the road. Any second now¡­I don¡¯t think I can hold out for much longer.

    I roll my head to the side and watch the water glisten on the dark marks of Seth¡¯s tattoos. My arms surround his neck again, and I hold him close to me. Underneath, I feel him lining himself up and no more than a second later, he shoves himself inside of me. I gasp in euphoric shock as my body enlivens with erotic sensations. Even though I knew it was coming, I forgot the indescribable feeling that comes with being completely filled by him. He keeps his mouth on my neck as he grips my ass, pulling our hips as close as possible.

    He¡¯s so deep, striking all of the chords in the very back of my depths causing bursts of heat to explode throughout my body.

    ¡°Fucking¡­hell¡­¡± He breathes against my skin before hanging his head back.

    I watch him, completely mesmerized by his parted lips and his muscular chest that heave with his strained breaths.

    A wave of lust hits me with the full force of a tsunami behind it and without thinking I lean forward and press my open mouth to his neck. I lick his skin and feel his throat vibrate underneath my tongue.

    ¡°Bite me,¡± Seth rasps and I don¡¯t hesitate. Not for a second.

    I bite down on his neck and the growl that erupts from Seth sends heat shooting through my veins in steady bursts. My muscles clench and I scream into his shoulder as my stomach rolls with familiar waves, and I swear to God white lights blind my eyes.

    When I come back to, I realize I¡¯m pressed against the edge of the pool. I release Seth, lean backwards and rest my elbows on the dark edges of the concrete. He holds my hips and I look up at him as the water laps over our bodies as he thrusts into me. His dark eyes are on my breasts before they flick to my face.

 Page 20

    He half smiles, half catches his lip between his teeth. ¡°So sexy.¡±Advertisement

    Seth draws his body closer to mine and my back grazes against the rocks with every thrust, sending new waves of lust through me. He begins to groan and swear under his breath with every second thrust. I can tell by his face and his erratic movements that he¡¯s close.

    ¡°Fuck, baby,¡± Seth grips my shoulder, pulling me off the edge of the pool and right into him. I manage a sharp intake of air before he slams his mouth to mine and the moment our tongues rush to entwine, he groans harshly, crushing me to him. His hips move in an unsteady rhythm, his fingers digging roughly into my flesh. I hear his growls soften and eventually die down to relieved moans and satiated sighs. As my own waves of bliss begin to fade, the mere thought of snuggling up to Seth in bed sounds like an amazing idea.

    His mouth slips from mine and he nuzzles my neck, kissing it softly. When his grip on me loosens, I slip away from him, planting my feet on the floor of the pool. I attempt to pass him, to leave the water and gather my dress, but before I get anywhere, he grabs my elbow and pulls me right back to him. His lips part, drawing my gaze, and he purses them in thought.

    ¡°Are you okay?¡± I ask, confused.

    ¡°Yeah, I just¡ª¡± He almost smiles, but behind the smile I see the frustration. ¡°It can wait.¡±

    I feel my brows draw together. ¡°You sure?¡±

    He seemed pretty conflicted a second ago, but now all traces of it are gone.

    ¡°Positive.¡±

    He releases me and I linger for a few seconds before continuing my way to the steps.

    When I emerge from the water, the warm air is suddenly cool and unwanted. I glance over my shoulder at Seth. He¡¯s completely submerged himself under the water and by the time he resurfaces, I¡¯ve already slipped my dress over my body. It clings to my wet skin as I lean lazily against the fence with my hands tucked tightly underneath my armpits in an effort to warm them.

    I blink a few times in order to stay awake. My eyes threaten to shut and the only thing keeping them open is the stunning mass of muscle that rises from the pool. I swear my world goes slo-mo while I watch him roughly rake his fingers through his hair, making it look all disheveled and sexy. That¡¯s not all that caught my attention, either. My eyes roam his perfect form¡ªlike they did the first time I ever laid eyes on him. ¡®My mouth goes dry and I want to run my lips over his moist throat. I¡¯m suddenly aware of a strange, searing heat across the back of my neck and an electrical current I¡¯ve never felt before tingles.¡¯ I smile. It¡¯s nice to see nothing has changed. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever get used to his unadulterated perfection.

    ¡°Keep looking at me like that and I¡¯ll take you for round two.¡±

    I push off the fence and lick my bottom lip. It feels cold and numb. I really hope it¡¯s not blue. ¡°We have to get up early tomorrow, remember?¡±

    He shrugs. ¡°If we miss it, we¡¯ll book another flight.¡± He smiles a cocky smile. ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯ll be worth it.¡±

    I bend over, pulling Seth¡¯s shirt off the ground and tossing it to him. ¡°I¡¯ve never been on a plane before and I¡¯m excited, so, if you make me miss it, I¡¯m going to kill you.¡±

    He ditches the shirt and reaches for his jeans, putting one leg in after the other. He pulls them up and buttons them low on his hips. As he finishes, he extends his hand to me and I take it. My skin warms up in his and I can¡¯t wait to get upstairs and have his entire body heat radiate onto me.

    In Seth¡¯s room, I dump the dress in the bathroom and quickly run a towel over my body, drying up all of the little beads of water that are chilling me down to my bones.

    I drop the towel and stalk back into the bedroom, stopping halfway to the bed. My eyes widen a fraction as they settle on Seth and all of his damp glory casually lying in the bed.

    ¡°You¡¯re wet.¡±

    Wet is a little bit of an exaggeration. The air had almost dried him completely before we got into the house, save for a small spattering of drops over his chest and arms.

    He flashes me another one of those smiles. ¡°I believe that¡¯s my line.¡±

    I try not to smile, but I¡¯m sure the awkward pout on my lips as I shake my head had already given away the fact that I want to.

    Seth chuckles as he rolls the sheets down to his naked hips. ¡°Get in here.¡±

    I rapidly rush to the light switch and flick it off before diving into bed. Seth¡¯s arms circle me, immediately drawing me into him and my chest flutters.

    I like this.

    I like the way we¡¯re connecting. When we were fighting and lying in the bed, ignoring each other, I felt empty and I never want to feel like that again. With Blade, I fell asleep alone and angry more times than I can count¡­that¡¯s not a relationship. What we had was an inconvenient routine I couldn¡¯t shake and I¡¯ll be damned if I let another relationship go down that path. When I¡¯m in bed with Seth, I want to touch him¡ªto feel his skin against mine. I want to feel overwhelmed by love¡ªso overwhelmed that it exhausts me and I fall asleep in his arms. That is a relationship. That is love.

    Seth buries his face in my damp hair and kisses me. ¡°I love you,¡± he whispers and it makes my heart stutter.

    As silly as it sounds, I forget he loves me. It¡¯s hard to believe someone who walks around commanding so much attention with his acute cockiness, hard muscles, and tattoos would ever let someone like me to bring him to his knees¡ªand make no mistake, I bring him to his knees. I bring him to his knees, hard.

    I shuffle backwards, pressing my body harder into his. ¡°I love you, too.¡±

    In the silence that follows, I think about our trip to California. I¡¯ve never been on a plane before¡ªI¡¯ve always wanted to go on one, but believe it or not, I was a very dedicated worker before Seth came along. I never took a day off for anything. I don¡¯t know what happened¡­Seth stalked into my life and scrambled my internal wiring. Since then, I haven¡¯t been the same and I¡¯m okay with that. When you meet someone who makes your entire body buzz with only a curl of their lips, you can¡¯t escape it. You become drawn to it, forgetting everything that¡¯s supposed to matter to you. Seth became my sun and I gravitated around him¡ªI still do, and like the sun, there¡¯s still so much to learn about Seth. I know he¡¯s big and beautiful, but I also know he¡¯s fiery and unpredictable. In California, I think I¡¯m going to be seeing a lot more of the fiery, negative Seth. He¡¯s always moody when it comes to his mother¡ªor at least he was when I first met him. He was always in the gym, punching out his frustrations.

    His mother, Vanessa, is a very hard woman to read. I¡¯ve only met her once and on both occasions she was drunk off her ass, both confusing and frustrating me with her violent mood swings, not to mention the fact she calls me by a different girl¡¯s name every time I see her. A nervous feeling twists my stomach. Vanessa¡¯s going to be mad Seth had her sent away¡­maybe I can sit out visiting her? No. I can¡¯t do that. Seth will need my support and that¡¯s why I¡¯m going¡­

    For him.

    The need for sleep fades and I find myself wide awake long after Seth¡¯s breathing evens out and my body bears the weight of his arm. His breathing is slow and heavy, sounding totally at peace. I wish the sudden bout of anxious nausea would go away so I can sleep. The last thing I want is to look like crap visiting Seth¡¯s mom tomorrow. I want her to like me¡ªto think I¡¯m worthy of her son. Hell, I¡¯ll even go as far as to say I want her to be proud of Seth for finding a girl like me. I¡¯m not one to brag, but comparing myself to Cassie (the girl Seth slept with before me), I¡¯m a catch. Sure she was hot, but she¡¯s hardly the kind of girl you can bring home to your Mama¡ªnot unless you want to be accused of hiring a date from an expensive escort service.

    Seth sighs sleepily, pulling me from my thoughts, and I stifle a yawn as sleep slowly claims me. I shift forward, hoping to roll onto my stomach, but Seth¡¯s hand clenches my stomach, holding me in place. I smile. Even in his sleep he has to have me close.

    I wish he¡¯d ask me to marry him already. I know that¡¯s what he¡¯s been trying to do for the past few weeks. Only one question makes a guy that nervous. Seth is uncensored. He says what he wants when he wants and I find it cute that he¡¯s scared of my response. I don¡¯t know why, surely he knows it¡¯s going to be yes¡ªa million times yes! I¡¯m impatient. I want him to be all mine. I want his last name¡ªto carry his children¡ªyou name it, I want it.

    And all he has to do is ask.

    I lean lazily against his car and yawn as Seth pays the meter. Apparently, you can leave your car at the airport, who knew? I¡¯d never do it, not these days, anyway. Seth, however, has no problems leaving his car. He doesn¡¯t have to, though. Jackson offered to drop us off and pick us up, but Seth insisted we do it alone. Not surprising, he¡¯s never been one to want help.

    After he pays, we enter the airport, do all of the lame, time-consuming obligations like waiting in line and checking in as well as waiting an hour and half before we can even board the gigantic plane. As I sit in the plane awaiting take off, my pulse quickens. It sped up when we arrived at the airport, it quickened even more when we had our necessary IDs checked and it was violently slamming against my ribs as we boarded the plane. Through it all, Seth rubbed my lower back and gave me small squeezes of reassurance and it helped, a little.

    Flying to another state is exhausting¡ªthe packing, the early morning, the driving, the waiting¡ªit¡¯s all too much. Beside me, Seth shifts closer, putting his hand on mine.

    ¡°Relax,¡± he tells me, giving a slight lopsided smirk. ¡°There can¡¯t be two anxious messes on the plane.¡±

    I study his face and the slow rise and fall of his chest. Neither betrayed any sign of the anxiousness he apparently feels inside.

    ¡°You don¡¯t like flying?¡±

    ¡°God, no. I¡¯d much rather have both my feet firmly planted on the ground, but sometimes, we have to do things we hate.¡± His smirk widens. ¡°And this is one of those things.¡±

    A tall, lanky stewardess with beautiful auburn hair slips by us and strolls into a small room at the front of the plane.

    ¡°Try not to freak out or they¡¯ll throw you off the plane.¡±

    I lean into him, whispering. ¡°What? They¡¯ll kick me off? Just like that?¡±

    Seth is enjoying this. The amused expression on his face says so and he licks his lips to hide a smile. ¡°Yep, so behave.¡±

    I relax back into my seat and try to come off as uncaring and cool, but I can¡¯t help tapping my fingertips along the hem of my skirt, occasionally touching my bare thigh. Seth chose my outfit for today¡ªa tight, black business skirt and a light pink silk blouse with a frilly collar. I planned on saving this outfit for dinner if we go out, but Seth couldn¡¯t wait that long to see me in it and demanded I wear it today. I¡¯d be happier in a pair of sweatpants and a plain tee. Isn¡¯t that what people wear on planes? Comfortable clothes?

    I drag in a deep inhale and reach to open the window. We aren¡¯t in the sky yet, but I figure if I face my fear head on and watch our ascent, then I¡¯ll be ready for the flight. Before my fingers curl around the handle of the blind, Seth whips across, grabbing my wrist. I gasp as he pulls my hand away from it.

    ¡°Settle down, daredevil.¡± He chuckles. ¡°You might want to conquer your fears, but I¡¯m fine hiding from mine.¡± He lets me go. ¡°Please don¡¯t open the blind.¡±

    Am I trying to hide a skeptical smile? I think I am. ¡°You¡¯re that scared? I¡¯m sure it¡¯s beautiful.¡±

    He nods his head, unashamed. ¡°Yes, I am that scared. We¡¯re going to be very, very high up¡ªtens of thousands of feet¡ªand I don¡¯t care how beautiful it is, it¡¯s a sight I never want to see.¡±

    I¡¯m itching to open the blinds now. I want to see the clouds¡­my thoughts of the fluffy white clouds are interrupted by the pilot¡¯s voice. I barely pay attention to what he¡¯s saying. All I can focus on is the erratic pulse of my heart. A few minutes and a dozen safety announcements later, we¡¯re racing down the runway and officially on our way to California.

    (T-minus two days until Las Vegas)

    My body is charged with excitement and a sense of self-accomplishment as we drive away from the airport in an SUV Seth rented. I went on an airplane for the first time! I don¡¯t care how childish I sound, it was amazing and when Seth went to the toilet, I even peeked out the window.

    Seamless. Serene. Surreal.

    Those are the only words I have to describe what I saw. I want to see it again and I want to take photos of it, to remember exactly how perfect it was. I pull down the visor and check my hair in the mirror, not bad considering I was squishing it against the headrest of a chair for a couple of hours.

    I peek sideways at Seth, his eyes focus on the road and I notice his hands grip the steering wheel off and on again, over and over.

    ¡°Nervous?¡± I ask, placing a hand on his jean-clad thigh.

    He drops his hand from the steering wheel and takes my hand in his. Strangely, the gesture sends a million and one flutters up my arm and directly into my chest.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± He moistens his lips and keeps his gaze out the front windscreen. ¡°This can go really well¡­or it can be a total fuck up.¡±

    ¡°If it goes well?¡± I wonder aloud.

    ¡°We¡¯ll take her home with us.¡±

    ¡°And if it¡¯s a fuck up?¡±

    He ponders for a second and his jaw clenches imperceptibly. ¡°She stays.¡±

    I analyze his face. He doesn¡¯t like that idea and I can tell he¡¯s conflicted. He wants to bring his mother home, but not until she¡¯s better and I pray for his sake that she is.

 Page 21

    The institute is nothing like I imagined. I pictured a cold, white cube-like building¡ªI didn¡¯t expect a resort by the beach. We drive up a long, straight driveway, lined with gorgeous palm trees and bushes. I wind my window down and the car floods with the smell of various flowers. What a lovely place.Advertisement

    The color scheme of the buildings¡ªthe browns and charcoals¡ªcontrasted well with the blue sky and almost white sand¡ªit¡¯s nothing like the dull prison I envisioned. I contemplate cracking a joke about becoming an alcoholic just to get locked up in a place like this, but I decide against it. It¡¯s way too soon for jokes like that.

    I breathe in the crisp scent of sea salt and it tickles the back of my throat. I love it here. We¡¯re not in Kansas anymore, Toto. California feels worlds away from Portland, Maine.

    I¡¯m paralyzed with awe at the serenity of the institution¡ªfrom the driveway to the parking lot¡ªall of it amazes me and it isn¡¯t until I feel Seth¡¯s full lips press quickly against my cheek that I realize we¡¯ve stopped. When I look at him, he smiles at me, but it¡¯s a fake smile that I assume is supposed to make me feel better. His eyes are dark¡ªclouded¡ªand the beautiful golden rivers are barely distinguishable.

    Without a word, I slip from my seat and shut the door. As we meet around the back of the car, Seth stuffs his hands into his pockets. I study him closely as he breathes deeply, preparing himself for the reunion with his mother. His sky blue shirt tightens around his chest with every inhale and I reach out to him, running my arms up the hard ridges of his biceps and onto the nape of his neck. He blows air from his cheeks. ¡°I feel stupid.¡±

    I frown. ¡°Why do you feel stupid?¡±

    He shrugs his broad shoulders. ¡°Because I¡¯m nervous¡­¡± His eyelids droop a fraction and for some reason, his sudden vulnerability pierces my heart. ¡°There¡¯s a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I feel like throwing up.¡±

    In this moment, I see a glimpse of what Seth might¡¯ve looked like as a child, with all of his innocence still intact¡ªbig, glossy brown eyes, straight lips, and a worried little furrow between his brows.

    Adorable.

    ¡°Don¡¯t feel stupid,¡± I say, unable to hide a smile.

    I bring my arms back down and hook one around his. Slowly, I draw him closer to the front doors. ¡°You have every right to be nervous and whether it ends on a good note or a bad note, this will all be over soon. Then, we can both sit around and sulk or we can go to the beach¡ªwhatever you want to do, we¡¯ll do it.¡±

    He nods and the movement keeps me linked to his childhood.

    So fucking adorable.

    Once we pass the reception desk and they check us over a few times to make sure we aren¡¯t trying to smuggle anything in, a nurse leads us up spacious halls and through luxurious sitting areas. Everything seems to be a bright white trimmed with gold. All stonework is marble and the lights are low, crystal chandeliers. This place is more like a six star hotel than an alcoholic recovery center. The nurse veers around a corner and we follow. The uniforms here aren¡¯t scrubs in various colors of blue, but more office attire¡ªtight business dresses and lavish, too-high heels. Sadly, I fit right in here.

    The nurse stops outside a door and suddenly a tornado of nerves sweeps through me. I hate not knowing what¡¯s on the other side of the door. It can swing both ways. Either it¡¯ll make this trip worth it or it¡¯ll be a complete waste of time.

    The pretty blonde nurse turns to us. ¡°Heads up, she¡¯s in a little bit of a foul mood this morning.¡±

    Great. I lick my lips in an attempt to moisten the nervous dryness that has seized them¡ªit doesn¡¯t help. With a friendly nod, she leaves us alone at the door. I shift closer to Seth, allowing my finger to glide over the back of his wrist.

    ¡°I¡¯ll wait out here for you.¡± I step away from him, feeling a little relieved that I don¡¯t have to go in there with Vanessa¡ªI almost get away with it too, until Seth¡¯s hard, strong hand envelops mine and he pulls me right back into him.

    ¡°I want you with me,¡± he says under his breath as he crushes me to his chest. It¡¯s low and aggressive, striking all of the right chords. ¡°Don¡¯t make me face her alone.¡±

    ¡°Seth, she¡¯s your moth¡ª¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not asking you, O. I need you in the room with me.¡±

    His face¡­I can¡¯t even take it. He¡¯s sweet and demanding all at once. How can my brain compete against my heart? My brain knows it¡¯s better for Vanessa and myself if I¡¯m not in there tainting their reunion, but my heart knows I should be there to support Seth¡ªregardless of how uncomfortable it makes me.

    I nod in compliance and he holds me closer for a little while longer. Time and space falls away as he holds me in his gaze. The building could be on fire right now, alarms could be blaring¡ªsprinklers blasting¡ªand I¡¯d have no idea. I¡¯d be completely oblivious to anything that isn¡¯t Seth. His hands circle my waist and my sight drops to his lips as he lowers them to mine. I feel his breath on my face as he painfully eliminates the distance between our mouths. My lips are parted by the time his graze mine and before they seal shut, his body goes rigid and he turns his head, taking his luscious lips away from me. I blink rapidly, feeling as though I¡¯ve just been let out of some crazy, lust-filled mind control. I was too consumed in Seth to hear Vanessa¡¯s door open and when I turn my head, I¡¯m met with the dark, espresso eyes that belong to one pissed off mother.

    Seth shifts his weight and I pull away from him, straightening my shirt and skirt. I feel my face heat up and I clear my throat. There¡¯s no sign of embarrassment on Seth¡¯s features and I wonder if he actually cares that we were busted by his mother outside her door.

    There¡¯s a long silence and my gaze flicks between the two. They watch each other in some silent showdown¡ªat least now I know where he got it from. The silence doesn¡¯t last long and is quickly broken as Vanessa¡¯s hand shoots out and slaps Seth right across the face. I gasp and my hands fly up to cover my mouth. He barely looks hurt by the slap and he keeps watching his mother. Hair prickles over the surface of my body and my entire system floods with shock and anger.

    What the fuck?

    Chapter Eleven

    Seth

    My face stings, but I¡¯ve been hit by things ten times bigger and stronger than my 120 pound mother. I don¡¯t mind, it¡¯s not like I didn¡¯t deserve it. I had her taken away in her sleep and sent to the other side of the country for rehabilitation. I¡¯d be pissed, too.

    ¡°Are you kidding me?¡± Olivia barks, stepping forward. I reach out, pressing my hand firmly against her stomach. The last thing I want is a fight between my mother and my girlfriend¡ªMom is tall and has reach on her side, but don¡¯t underestimate Olivia¡¯s fierceness. The girl can throw a mean jab, too.

    ¡°He¡¯s your son,¡± O continues and I feel her stomach clench under my hand.

    ¡°Olivia¡ª¡±

    ¡°And I am his mother,¡± Mom interrupts. She flicks her long, back hair over her shoulder and straightens her blue blouse. ¡°Yet he had me shipped to California against my will, kicking and screaming.¡±

    Despite the angry features that contort her face, she looks healthy. Her skin is free of that alcohol-induced sweat and her eyes are wide and alert. She really is a beautiful woman and I don¡¯t hold the slap against her.

    ¡°You look good, Mom,¡± I tell her, unable to hide my smile.

    I can feel Olivia¡¯s confused stare burn into the side of my face. I don¡¯t think she¡¯ll ever understand me. I¡¯m unpredictable¡ªthe best kind of unpredictable. Tears well in Mom¡¯s eyes and I know she¡¯s already forgiven me for putting her here.

    ¡°Oh, Sethy!¡± she sobs before launching forward and wrapping her arms around my neck. I hug her back. I don¡¯t know how long we hug, but it¡¯s nice. With one hug, all of the apprehensions and nerves I had upon arrival are gone. They¡¯re replaced with feelings of happiness. Maybe it worked this time and she¡¯s better. Maybe I can take her home.

    Mom pulls away as Olivia speaks. ¡°I¡¯ll be waiting for you down the hall when you¡¯re ready.¡± I see her lips slightly pouted, she¡¯s still a little mad and it¡¯s cute that she¡¯s fired up to protect me.

    I nod at her and she whirls around on her heel before heading back the way we came.

    ¡°I see you brought Nata¡ª¡±

    I look at Mom and frown. Why can¡¯t she remember her name? It¡¯s not hard. It¡¯s the one name I want her to remember and she can¡¯t even do that.

    ¡°Sara¡ªjane?¡±

    Holding in my frustration, I prompt her. ¡°Olivia.¡±

    ¡°Olivia, right. She¡¯s still around, I see.¡± Mom turns around and enters her room.

    I follow her and close the door behind me. Mom¡¯s room is immaculate¡ªdefinitely worth the money I forked out for it.

    ¡°She must be good in bed for you to keep her around this long. The other girls I saw at the house came and went in the same day.¡±

    Olivia is good in bed¡ªgreat in bed¡ªbut that¡¯s not why I keep her around. I lean against the wall and fold my arms over my chest as Mom drops into a hard looking arm chair. ¡°She¡¯s around because I love her.¡±

    Mom¡¯s eyebrow quirks and she pulls a small ball of fluff off her black slacks. ¡°You? In love? C¡¯mon, Seth, we both know that¡¯s not true. Love isn¡¯t you.¡±

    I shrug. ¡°It is now.¡±

    I¡¯ve come a long way in such a short period of time that my mother wouldn¡¯t even know who I am anymore, and it¡¯s all because of one girl. My girl. ¡°I¡¯m going to marry her.¡±

    Her full lips twitch upwards. ¡°You sound certain.¡±

    ¡°I am.¡±

    She starts to pick at her nails¡ªa habit that really gets under my skin. ¡°If you¡¯re so confident, why haven¡¯t you asked her yet?¡±

    I grind my teeth together, frustrated. It¡¯s the same damn question I¡¯ve been asking myself every night before I sleep. Mom¡¯s lip twitch turns into a full smile.

    ¡°You want to marry her? Do you need my blessing?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°I don¡¯t need anyone¡¯s blessing. I¡¯m just informing you of my plan.¡±

    ¡°And children? Last I heard you never wanted kids. Has that changed?¡±

    ¡°Yes, I want kids. Three¡ªall boys.¡± I tell her without hesitation.

    When the hell did I decide that? Children used to be a ¡®no-go¡¯ zone, but now I know how many I want and the sexes I want them to be? If I¡¯m not careful, I¡¯ll be writing baby names into a notebook by the end of the week. Scary.

    ¡°You can¡¯t choose their sex, Seth. Why don¡¯t you want a girl?¡±

    ¡°Karma, that¡¯s why.¡±

    Mom laughs and the sound is a welcome noise to my ears. It¡¯s been a long time since I¡¯ve heard her laugh hiccup free. ¡°Anyway, we have limited time. Tell me everything. How¡¯d your tournament go?¡±

    ¡°I won,¡± I reply. ¡°I¡¯m in the pros now.¡±

    She shifts forward in her seat, excited, and it makes me feel all warm and shit inside.

    ¡°That¡¯s so great! I knew you could do it. How¡¯s Maddi?¡±

    How¡¯s Maddi? I should have assumed a conversation about my success would spark one about hers.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I deadpan. And I didn¡¯t. I¡¯ve been ignoring her calls since she moved to Vegas. ¡°We haven¡¯t spoken since you hit her.¡±

    Mom flinches at the memory and sits back in her chair. I immediately feel bad. I shouldn¡¯t have brought it up. It was years ago. Before we moved to Portland, Mom came home pretty drunk and Maddi and I were watching a movie. By that stage, it wasn¡¯t unusual for Mom to indulge in alcohol after work and we didn¡¯t hold it against her, considering Dad had passed away. Maddi told Mom about her plans to drop out of law school to go to Vegas with her douchebag boyfriend, Kye, and Mom lost her shit. She threw things, cursed, swore and cried¡ªshe went through the usual over the top drunk emotions before lashing out and attacking Maddi. I knew Mom had crossed the line, but I let her slap Maddi repeatedly in hopes Maddi would come to her senses¡ªhell, I wanted to slap her. I don¡¯t like Kye. I don¡¯t like the way he looks at my sister¡ªor the way he touches her. He fills her head with hopes and dreams, ones I know she¡¯s too good for, and if, by some fucking miracle, his band does get picked up, I don¡¯t want Maddi to become second to him. She has to be first¡ªalways. I want nothing but the best for my little sister. He¡¯ll fuck her around and I know he will¡­because he¡¯s like me. Difference is, I fucked around before I met the girl of my dreams. I¡¯ve experienced it all. He hasn¡¯t, and when the women start to throw themselves at him¡­I¡¯m worried my sister will get hurt.

    Anyway, back on topic. I shouldn¡¯t have sat back and let Mom hit Maddi. I should have fucking done something.

    ¡°It was a long time ago,¡± Mom mutters. ¡°I wasn¡¯t myself.¡±

    I step closer. ¡°But you are now and you seem okay. Let me take you home.¡±

    A sudden tear rolls from Mom¡¯s eyes and down the length of her cheek. She wipes it away. ¡°I¡¯m not ready to go.¡±

    Well, I wasn¡¯t expecting that. I crouch low, getting to eye level. Did I hear her correctly?

    ¡°This is where I need to be right now. I¡¯m so close to kicking the habit. I want to come home, but all I¡¯m thinking about right now is going to a bar for a Cosmo. I want to get better, Sethy, and I have to be here to do it.¡±

    She tucks a lock of black hair behind her ear. ¡°I¡¯m okay physically, but mentally, I¡¯m drained. I can¡¯t go back to the real world yet. Not yet.¡±

 Page 22

    I want her to come home, but I¡¯m not going to pressure her. If she feels she needs more time, then that¡¯s exactly what I¡¯ll give her for as long as she wants.Advertisement

    ¡°You can have more time, but the second you truly believe you¡¯re ready to come home, call me and I¡¯ll be on the first flight, regardless of where I am in the world.¡±

    Mom reaches out and cups my face. ¡°Oh, my baby boy.¡± she sniffles and blinks back tears. ¡°I¡¯m sorry you had to take care of me. You¡¯ve done so much for me¡­I¡¯m the parent, not you, and yet you stepped up to the plate and kept me going.¡±

    To hear her acknowledge all that I¡¯ve done for her strikes me directly in the heart. It makes everything I¡¯ve done worth it. It makes all of the stress, all of the sleepless nights and scares I¡¯ve endured worth it.

    Her bottom lip quivers and I want to flinch away. Seeing your mother cry is the worst thing in the world. It makes you feel small and helpless, like a child.

    ¡°Now that I¡¯ve passed the dark stage I was in, I can admit to myself and to you that I wanted to die. Before I fell asleep every night, I prayed for death. I begged God to not let me wake up, knowing I¡¯d have to repeat it over and over¡ªwaking up alone, driving to work alone, eating alone¡ªall of the things I was so used to doing with your father, I had to do alone and it affected me.¡±

    She leans forward, planting a quick kiss on my forehead. ¡°I never want to feel that again. I never want my children to see me like that ever again. I¡¯m better now, not perfect, but better.¡±

    I¡¯ve never really had a deep and meaningful conversation with Mom. Not like this, anyway. She drops her hands from my face and I smile at her. ¡°You were never alone and you never will be.¡±

    A distracting beep over the P.A. pulls us from our conversation and Mom wipes her pink face with the back of her hand, sniffling with sadness¡­no, happiness¡ªmaybe both.

    ¡°Attention guests, visiting time is now over. Please say your goodbyes. You are more than welcome to return in four hours when visiting hours recommence. Thank you.¡±

    I rise to my feet and run my fingers briefly through my hair.

    ¡°How long are you in California for?¡± Mom asks, pushing up off of the couch.

    ¡°Until tomorrow morning. I was going to take Olivia to the beach this afternoon, but I¡¯ll come back and visit you instead.¡±

    She scoffs and swats me away. ¡°Don¡¯t be silly. Take the girl to the beach. Cali is too beautiful to be stuck indoors.¡±

    ¡°But¡ª¡±

    ¡°No buts.¡± Her long, thin arms surround me as she pulls me in for a hug and her familiar scent envelops me. ¡°Take her to the beach. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±

    After a quick goodbye, I close her door behind me and draw in a deep inhale. When I exhale, I feel different¡ªrenewed. Mom is okay. For the first time in a long time, she isn¡¯t playing on my mind and I¡¯m completely at ease when I think about her. It has been years since I¡¯ve felt that way, and since meeting Olivia, the old chapters in my story have closed one by one¡ªMason, Mom, all of the random girls and even Don. From here, new chapters will be written and they¡¯ll feature Olivia in every single sentence of every single paragraph. Without her, my story can¡¯t move forward and it can¡¯t be completed. I love her. She¡¯s the one good thing I¡¯ve allowed myself to have since I let Dad get into my head, and so far, so good. Maybe I am good. If I wasn¡¯t, why would the universe give Olivia to me? They wouldn¡¯t put someone as innocent as her in harm¡¯s way.

    Maybe Dad was wrong about me.

    Chapter Twelve

    Olivia

    I watch the beautiful girls in glamorous dresses practically glide around the restaurant. I envy them and their porcelain skin. I envy the way they sway with fluid movements¡ªmovements so graceful, they give flowers swaying gently in the afternoon breeze a run for their money. I definitely feel like I¡¯m sitting low on the attractive scale tonight¡ªespecially with the minor sunburn I received after being at the beach with Seth all day. Why he let me sleep in the middle of a Californian beach in the middle of the day is beyond me. Apparently, I looked ¡®too comfortable¡¯ to wake. He smiles at me from across the table and I roll my eyes at him. I don¡¯t care how comfortable I looked, I¡¯m not comfortable anymore, my skin stings a little and I¡¯m tired as hell.

    The tight black dress with the plunging neckline I¡¯ve chosen to wear tonight may make me look slimmer, but it does nothing to lessen the pinkish hue in my skin.

    ¡°I¡¯m assuming you¡¯ve been to California before?¡± I ask, slipping a piece of ravioli into my mouth.

    Seth has been more than accommodating here in California. He knows which beaches to hit, what restaurants make the best steak, and I¡¯ve yet to pull out my wallet to pay for anything¡ªwhich is very strange for me. With Blade, I paid for almost everything. I don¡¯t like depending on people, it makes me uncomfortable. Depending on someone else doesn¡¯t come natural to me, but Seth has no problem swiping his card anywhere we go.

    ¡°Jackson and I used to come here every summer for a couple of years.¡±

    He smiles at me before taking a long sip of his ice cold water. I admire the way his black formal shirt tightens around his thick arms as he lowers the glass to the table.

    ¡°Hardly an innocent visit, I presume?¡±

    His eyes flare, dropping briefly to my chest before dragging back to my face. His lips curve into a mischievous smirk. ¡°Is anything I do innocent?¡±

    Marveling over my burning cheeks and how quickly he made them flush, I reply, ¡°Never.¡±

    He holds me in his stare and suddenly my mouth is dry. I swallow hard and his dark eyes drop to my throat. The way he stares at me, like he wants to take me right now, sends a myriad of heat through my body and it pulses everywhere. I quickly run my tongue over my lips to moisten them. I need to do something¡ªanything¡ªto quench my desire for him and to stop myself from diving over the table and running my mouth over him. He looks at my lips with such fierce, erotic intensity before finally looking me in the eyes.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get out of here.¡±

    There¡¯s no question to his words. He wants to get out of here, now. Dropping my fork against my bowl with a cling, I nod my head. Who needs dinner when I have dessert waiting for me? Seth rushes to his feet in a hurry, pulling cash from his back pocket and dropping it on the table. As I push my seat back, a tall, beautiful girl in a gorgeous red gown floats graciously toward our table. Her eyes are on me first and I look at Seth, who¡¯s watching me with a questioning gleam in his eye. I arch an eyebrow. Strange that he thinks she¡¯s here for me, I haven¡¯t made any friends in California and Selena is my only real girl friend, anyway. I give him a ¡®She¡¯s not mine¡¯ shake of the head and look back to the girl, who¡¯s closed the distance between her and the table. Once she¡¯s here, her gaze shifts to Seth and I¡¯m no longer worthy of her attention. I take in her tight red dress. It clings to the subtle curves of her body and I hate that it looks so fucking good on her.

    ¡°Seth!¡± she cheers, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. ¡°I can¡¯t believe it, it¡¯s been so long!¡±

    I watch, curiously, as his body goes rigid and he places a hand on the small of her back, returning the hug¡ªsort of. When she pulls back, he seems almost frustrated.

    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you don¡¯t remember me?¡±

    He glances at me, his facial expression melting from annoyed to worried. There¡¯s a bubble in my chest¡­jealousy? I think so. I¡¯m mad, but I don¡¯t want him to know it. Frustration burrows in under my ribs and I shuffle back in my seat. I forgot that Seth has a myriad of lady followers¡ªI remember the ones that came for him in the gym clearly.

    ¡°No, sorry.¡±

    She shifts her weight, planting a manicured hand firmly on her hip. ¡°Jesse? We hung out at the Newport beach party last year.¡± The way she says ¡®hung¡¯ makes me sick. I really hope she stops sparing my feelings¡ªbesides, how old is she?

    ¡°How old are you?¡± I blurt out, leaning forward in my chair.

    Seth¡¯s stare flicks to me, warning clear in his eyes. I¡¯m not implying Seth would voluntarily have sex with someone under the legal limit, but there¡¯s no way this girl is older than seventeen.

    ¡°Twenty-six.¡±

    I clench my teeth to prevent my mouth from falling open. Twenty-six? How is she older than both Seth and I? Her face is doll-like and she has a mass of golden curls that are tied into a classy bun. She has high cheek bones and huge blue eyes. Seventeen. I swear to god she¡¯s seventeen.

    ¡°Anyway¡ª¡± She exhales, turning her attention back to Seth. ¡°How long will you be in California?¡±

    ¡°Not long¡­¡± He glances sideways at me. ¡°Maybe we should have this conversation somewhere else.¡±

    The red-lipped smile that spreads over her face makes me sick. As she steps past him, he turns to me. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back. Stay here.¡±

    I¡¯m glaring at him, I can feel it. With a clenched jaw, Seth turns and follows the girl somewhere. When they disappear from sight, I slump into myself.

    I tap my fingers along the white tablecloth for what feels like my fourth hour. I pull my phone from my handbag. It¡¯s only been eleven minutes. I sigh, dropping it back inside and placing my bag on the table. What the hell is this? We¡¯re having dinner one minute and about to go home and tear into each other. The next, he¡¯s gone with a girl he¡¯s fucked and I¡¯m alone at the table. That¡¯s not okay, right? Shit. I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s acceptable and what isn¡¯t! Why couldn¡¯t he tell her to go? Why couldn¡¯t he tell her we were leaving? Why am I so pissed off? I can feel it poisoning my mood.

    As soon as that thought passes, Seth appears back at the edge of the table. ¡°Ready to go?¡±

    Without a word, I grab my bag and rise to my feet. I keep my eyes on the floor as we leave the restaurant. When we reach the car, he opens the door for me and I climb in. When he slips into the driver¡¯s seat and shuts his door, my brain sends words shooting from my mouth before getting my tongue¡¯s approval.

    ¡°Did you have sex with her last time you were here?¡± I¡¯m proud of the indifference in my voice.

    ¡°Yes.¡± Not one second of hesitation on his part and I don¡¯t know whether I should be disturbed or proud of his honesty. ¡°Are you mad?¡±

    I ponder the question, raking my teeth over my bottom lip, nervously. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­is it always going to be like this?¡±

    He doesn¡¯t answer and I take it as a big fat yes.

    ¡°Olivia, I told you that this part of my life was complicated. It¡¯s not complicated with drama and dark secrets. It¡¯s complicated with girls and their partners who want to kick my ass. I want to tell you that it won¡¯t happen again, but that¡¯d be a lie.¡± He exhales. ¡°I¡¯m not good¡­and I don¡¯t have any emotional back story that¡¯ll make you sympathize with my behavior. I like sex¡ªlove sex¡ªI love the way it feels. Plain and simple. I¡¯m bad, I told you that¡­and you still wanted me.¡±

    He¡¯s right, I know that, but things were different before I fell in love with him. Back then, I only wanted fun. I only wanted to get back at Blade, but now, I want to be with Seth for the rest of my life. I want to be proud of him¡­I don¡¯t want to feel sick every time a girl talks to him because they¡¯ve fucked. It¡¯s not a nice feeling.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to fight, just take us home,¡± I tell him, leaning back against the headrest and shutting my eyes against a headache that threatens to form. I know he¡¯s going to try and sort this out before we sleep and I hope we can. I don¡¯t want our time to be ruined because of this.

    I¡¯d like to say I¡¯m happy with my own thoughts, but at this moment, my thoughts suck. I keep picturing the two of them having sex¡­her golden hair flowing everywhere, his strong hands gripping her hips as he thrusts into her.

    I open my eyes, desperate to get away from the mental visions.

    ¡°Enjoy the silence while you can,¡± he grumbles. ¡°Because we¡¯re talking as soon as we get back.¡±

    I look out the window as dread fills my stomach. Talks with Seth are always intense¡­he doesn¡¯t believe in sulking and ignoring the issue. He faces things head on and doesn¡¯t stop until a conclusion is made. I don¡¯t know whether I like that approach¡­or absolutely loathe it. Either way, it was going to happen.

    Chapter Thirteen

    Seth

    She drops onto the bed and kicks off her shoes while I lean against the wall with my arms crossed firmly over my chest. I watch as she reaches up to pull the big hoops from her ears and one after the other, she tosses them onto the mahogany bedside table. She¡¯s preparing for bed, but there¡¯s no way in hell I¡¯m letting her go to sleep yet, not until I break down every thought she has and reassure her that she is all I want. I¡¯ll replenish whatever love she lost for me tonight and then some¡ªI won¡¯t take anything less than one hundred and fifty percent.

    ¡°Tell me the three little words I said to you in Boston.¡±

    She shakes her head. I know she doesn¡¯t want to get into this now, but I¡¯m not giving her a choice.

    ¡°Seth¡ª¡±

    ¡°Tell me,¡± I demand, stepping forward. ¡°I want to hear you say it.¡±

    ¡°I love you,¡± she mumbles.

    Easy enough.

    ¡°Now ask me how many girls I¡¯ve said it to, besides you.¡±

    Olivia sighs, her attitude suddenly radiating off of her in waves. ¡°I don¡¯t want to¡ª¡±

    ¡°Ask me.¡± My voice comes out a lot more aggressive than I intended, but it startles her enough to answer me.

 Page 23

    ¡°How many?¡± she snaps.Advertisement

    ¡°None.¡±

    She looks up at me and the sight of her face is almost enough to make me falter and forget the whole situation. ¡°But you already knew that, so why are you upset?¡±

    She glances down at her hands. ¡°Because¡ª¡±

    ¡°Because a girl I had sex with in the past approached us at dinner? Because I walked her away from the table because I could see how much she was upsetting you?¡± I unfold my arms. ¡°I couldn¡¯t give two shits about that girl and it hurts that you think she means anything to me.¡± I quickly rake my fingers through my hair. I need her to believe that the girl was¡ªis¡ªnothing to me. ¡°She was as much a stranger to me as she was to you.¡±

    I approach the bed and drop to my knees in front of her. Her body is tense, waiting for me to do something. I glide my hands up her smooth calves and up the sides of her thighs. Her gorgeous green eyes lock onto mine and the intensity of it makes my heart speed up.

    ¡°What more can I say? Did I have sex with that girl? Yes, twice, but I can tell you with one hundred percent honesty that I don¡¯t even remember how the sex was¡ªI don¡¯t remember my sex life before you anymore. I don¡¯t. You are my resolution, O. You are the person I¡¯m here with¡ªthe person I choose to be here with.¡± I grip her, pulling her closer to me. ¡°I love you. I fucking love you more than you¡¯ll ever know and I know tonight hurt you, but I swear to God I¡¯ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.¡±

    Her eyes flick between mine as she soaks in what I said.

    ¡°I can¡¯t even tell you her name,¡± I add, sincerely. ¡°But I can tell you your name.¡± I feel my lips twitch. ¡°I can tell you your favorite color, favorite food, favorite book and your favorite brand of perfume. I can download your favorite song right now and not think twice about it. I know you like I¡¯ve never known anyone else.¡± I inch closer, bringing my face to hers. ¡°If I could go back and change things, I would, without a doubt. But I can¡¯t. So, all I¡¯m asking is for you to trust me. I could never and would never hurt you like that. Ever. You¡¯re good and you deserve good. I know I¡¯m far from it, but what I am is all I have to offer you. If you want me, you get everything¡ªmy problems, my passions, my past¡ªeverything.¡±

    I don¡¯t need a response from her to know she¡¯s happy with what I said and I get the reaction I want from the feel of her fingertips grazing up my arms.

    Olivia is the kind of person that shuts off whenever she¡¯s upset. She won¡¯t touch or talk. She prefers solitude, to wallow in her own thoughts. Fuck that. The thought of leaving her alone for a second when she¡¯s upset kills me and it¡¯s even worse when I know I¡¯m the one who made her upset in the first place. There¡¯s no filter on my mouth or my actions. I do it and watch the chemicals react. It¡¯s a science experiment, really.

    O¡¯s fingers curl around my collar and she pulls me onto the bed. I willingly follow, neglecting to kick off my shoes. Her soft, alluring body molds perfectly to mine, and I love how soft and feminine she is. I lower my mouth to hers and I can feel her breath quick and nervous on my face, but before I touch, I tell her: ¡°I fucking love you with everything I have¡­and I won¡¯t take anything less from you.¡±

    ¡°And I love you.¡±

    I run my hand over the top of her head, smoothing the dark locks as I look her in the eyes. ¡°Tell me how much you love me.¡±

    I want to hear it. I want her to use ridiculous metaphors and lame lines. I need it. I need to be reassured because I will not fucking lose her, not tonight.

    Her gaze flicks nervously over my face. ¡°I can¡¯t¡­¡±

    I feel my eyebrows draw together. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because there are no words that describe what I feel for you.¡± She swallows hard. ¡°I can tell you I love you to the moon and back, but as far as I¡¯m concerned, it¡¯s not enough. I can tell you I love you to the next universe and back and the distance still isn¡¯t enough to describe how I feel. I love you. I love you more than any word, any object, any emotion and any measure of distance this life can ever depict.¡±

    Olivia¡¯s wide green eyes remain locked on mine and she clears her throat. ¡°I overreacted¡­¡± The corner of her delicious mouth twitches. ¡°Maybe, but it¡¯s only because I love you and you¡¯re mine.¡±

    I agree. ¡°I am yours.¡±

    Lines carve their way through her otherwise smooth face, like she wants to get something off her chest. ¡°I don¡¯t want other girls touching you.¡±

    She catches her plump bottom lip between her teeth and releases it, lighting my body up like a goddamn Christmas tree. Olivia has always played indifferent when it comes to girls until now and the thought of her claiming me sets my body alight with fiery passion. She hitches her thigh over my hip, pressing me into her.

    ¡°I don¡¯t like hearing your name on other girls¡¯ lips.¡± Her fingers snake around my collar and she draws my head closer until her lips graze my ear. ¡°Your name coming out in excited gasps should only fall from my lips and the lips of your spectators, not random girls in restaurants.¡±

    Her tone is aggressive and possessive¡ªa tone I never thought I¡¯d hear come from my sweet ¡®do what she¡¯s told¡¯ Olivia. I want to unbutton my shirt so I can breathe a little easier, but I wait and watch, looking forward to what she¡¯s going to say next. Her eyes narrow. ¡°You will not disappear with another girl ever again. Even if I¡¯m crying and my chest is hiccupping with sobs, you will not fucking leave me.¡±

    I open my mouth to agree with anything she wants, but she yanks on my neck, stopping my words from forming and pulling my lips hard against her own. Her hands push hard against my chest and I let her roll me over onto my back. She straddles me, her warm center hovering directly over my length that presses hard against my slacks. I can feel her warmth radiating through the fabric, teasing me. Her tongue glides against mine and this kiss isn¡¯t like our usual kisses¡ªthe kind of kisses where I lead. She¡¯s claiming me, telling me exactly how things are going to go and I can¡¯t be more obliging. Hell, I¡¯ll agree to anything she wants me to do if it means her taking control of me like this every time.

    Her hand runs down my stomach before slipping between our bodies and pressing her palm right against my hard dick. ¡°I could make you forget where you are¡ªforget your name and forget her with one swipe of my tongue.¡± Her finger twitches against my cock and I subtly flex my hips into her hand. She¡¯s never put her mouth on my cock before. I¡¯ve thought about it a million times and I¡¯ve wanted her to, but I¡¯ve never pushed for it. ¡°But I¡¯d much rather you sit and stew, blaming her for not getting any tonight.¡±

    Olivia slips off me and I abruptly push myself onto my elbows. My head spins as oxygen floods into my lungs, neglecting my brain. Her fingers trail up the side of her body before curling around the zipper and dragging it down the length of her torso. As the zipper nears the end, the dress falls from her, pooling at her high, glassy heels. Words fail me at the sight of her and all of her fucking naked perfection as my eyes drag down her pretty face, over her slim shoulders and linger on her perfectly round breasts. I stare for a few seconds as she stands there, letting me take in her whole form. My stare finally leaves her breasts before making their descent down her smooth navel and onto the bare slit between the gap in her thighs. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I close my eyes briefly in an attempt to prevent a premature accident. She doesn¡¯t have to touch me and I¡¯m all ready to go. I want her to stroke herself while I touch myself¡ªand I want her to do it in those heels. She twirls and strolls toward the bathroom. I shoot up to a seated position. Where does she think she¡¯s going?

    She turns back to me, shielding her body with the bathroom door. ¡°I¡¯m going to shower and then I¡¯m going to bed.¡±

    Bed? Now? After she brought me to the edge? I don¡¯t think so. I launch myself off the bed, ready to join her in the shower, but she shakes her head, stopping me on my war path to ecstasy.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°No?¡± I can¡¯t believe it. When has she ever said no to me? Is it possible to scowl with a smile? I¡¯m pretty sure that¡¯s what I¡¯m doing. ¡°You¡¯re sadistic.¡±

    With a flick of her eyebrows, she closes the bathroom door, leaving me alone in the bedroom. I stare at the chocolate panels of the door, my fingers itching to reach out and twist the gold door handle. If I hadn¡¯t pissed her off tonight, I¡¯d kick the door down and show her exactly who¡¯s in control here, but since I¡¯m already the bad guy, I¡¯ll leave it. I hurt her, so she can be in control for the night and only this once. I sigh, turning on my heel and exiting the bedroom. It¡¯s going to be a long fucking night.

    I kick my shoes off behind the couch and trot up the stairs. I¡¯ve been outside on the balcony in the warm salty air for over forty minutes. I only planned to be out here while Olivia was in the shower, but I got to thinking and I couldn¡¯t stop. Tonight shouldn¡¯t have happened. I¡¯ve never been ashamed of my past. I¡¯ve never stopped and reflected on all of the decisions I¡¯ve made, or at least I hadn¡¯t until they started coming back to bite me in the ass one after the other. I knew they¡¯d come back on me, that¡¯s how karma works, but at the time I didn¡¯t care. The various emotions that flicker over her face when something like this happens¡ªsadness, distaste, jealousy¡ªall of them, they twist my stomach into knots and I feel unworthy of her. Dad always told me that I destroy every good thing I get. Was I destroying Olivia? If this keeps happening, will it change her? Will she care less for me?

    I need to marry her so she can¡¯t leave me¡­I¡¯m not trying to trap her, I just want the proof that she will be beside me forever¡ªthat she wants to be a part of my existence.

    Olivia is the one thing I know my Dad would¡¯ve approved of. He wasn¡¯t there for me and when I think of him, the word love doesn¡¯t exactly spring to mind¡­but I still wanted him to be proud of me. What son doesn¡¯t want to make his father proud?

    I push open the bedroom door and my eyes scan the semi-dark room. I don¡¯t know what I expected to find¡­a naked, horny Olivia perhaps? She¡¯s dimmed the lights and dimmed lights are always a good sign. I close the door behind me and as it clicks, I hear the sheets ruffle. In amongst the mass of royal blue sheets and pillows, I see a small foot sticking out over the edge of the bed and I smile to myself. She actually went to sleep. She put me in my place and then fell asleep without another word¡­strangely, I¡¯m proud of her.

    Her stubbornness is what drew me to her in the first place, I suppose. She knows when to contest me and when to surrender. It¡¯s like she has a radar for when I need to be put in my place and when I need to be in control¡ªsure, she¡¯s mixed the two up a few times, but usually, she¡¯s right on the money.

    Button after button, I undo my shirt and throw it to the floor. I drop my slacks and replace them with a pair of loose sweatpants from my suitcase that¡¯s awkwardly strewn across the room. As I crawl across the bed, her clean, fresh scent hits me like a ton of bricks and I realize I¡¯ve frozen in my spot. Her smell flows through me and I close my eyes as it filters through every pore and sets fire to my blood. Forcing myself to move again, I pull back the sheets on my side and slip in. Olivia is facing me, her hand tucked adorably under her chin and her body clothed in a thin, grey nighty that¡¯s pulled up over her hips, exposing the tiniest pair of white lace panties I¡¯ve ever seen. In the dim light, I can¡¯t make out the exact tone of her skin, but I know it¡¯s all a slight shade of pink. I smile, recalling the forty minutes I laid next to her on the beach. I had my sunglasses on so to passersby, we were both sleeping, but in reality, I was watching her. I memorized every inch of exposed skin, creating maps in my head¡ªmaps I plan to follow with my lips.

    I inch closer to her, keeping my eyes on her peaceful face. Without thought, my hand reaches out and I brush my fingertips over her outer thigh and over the thin, white material of her underwear. The very tips of my fingers seem to heat up as our skin connects and I continued my ascent, gliding my tips over her hip. Her lips part and she expels a warm breath of air, sending a pleasurable chill through my body that forces my hair to stand on its ends as goosebumps erupt over my skin. I can¡¯t help but imagine the sound right by my ear as I pleasure her. I drag my finger over the edge of her hip and across her stomach. With another breath, she rolls onto her back. I wait for a little while, not wanting to wake her, and when I¡¯m positive she won¡¯t, I continue to let my fingertips roam. Before long I¡¯m stroking the hem of her underwear. Despite being on her back, she¡¯s still facing me and I can hear her heavy breaths of anticipation. Even in her sleep she wants me to touch her. I know I should just leave her and let her sleep, but the pull she has on me is unstoppable. I slide my fingers over the outside of her lace panties, avoiding her sweet spot, to caress the insides of her thighs. I hear her breath catch in her throat as the edge of my finger grazes her center and she minutely thrusts her hips. Her leg inches closer as she spreads her legs a little wider. I keep my eyes on her face and her parted lips as I slide the very tip of my finger under the edge of her underwear. Her skin is soft and unbelievably smooth and as I slip my finger between her moist creases, she moans and it sends electricity crackling through my body. She spreads her legs even wider and I push my index finger inside. Her walls tighten around me, almost sending me over the edge and my dick hasn¡¯t even touched her yet. Forget touching, I¡¯m all about tasting. I push myself on top of her, taking extra care not to wake her. I lower myself until my face is directly between her thighs and right over the honey pot I so desperately want to taste. Her sweet scent overwhelms me, sending my senses into a frenzy. My cock aches from digging so hard into the mattress and I shift my hips to alleviate some of the pressure.

 Page 24

    I pull her panties to the side and I admire her perfection in the dim lighting before parting her with my tongue. As soon as my tongue touches her hot flesh, she inhales sharply, her hips flexing into my mouth and forcing my tongue harder against her clit. I swirl my tongue, slowly at first, and her back begins to arch as her breathing becomes heavy enough for me to hear. The sound spurs me on and I lick faster and harder, until she¡¯s moaning and gripping the sheets. Heat, white-hot heat tears through my veins and I want to fuck her sweet pussy¡ªbut I can¡¯t. This is about making it up to her and I¡¯ll gladly give myself a severe case of blue balls if it means making her happy.Advertisement

    I stop swirling my tongue against her delicious bundle of nerves and trace my tongue down her center and across her hole. Olivia shivers as my tongue sends feelings through her sleeping body. I hear the sheet strain under the pull of her hands as she tugs at it and I switch back to massaging her clit. An unintentional groan releases itself from my throat as I rub the back of my hand along her inner thigh before slipping the tip of my finger inside her. Olivia releases the sheets and I look up to see her lift her shirt and expose her breasts as she gropes herself, pinching and rolling her nipples between her fingers.

    Fucking.

    Hell.

    I move my finger in and out, slowly at first, until her hands fall from her tits and rake through my hair, urging my lips harder against her body as her legs hook over my shoulders. I glance up at her and see her still in a dreaming state. I drop my attention back to what I¡¯m doing, focusing on getting her exactly where I want her to be.

    ¡°Mmmm¡­¡±

    My eyes flick back to Olivia¡¯s face and lock onto her wide green eyes. Even in the dim lighting, I can see her cheeks flushed with her arousal. Her body shakes under the thrust of my finger and the quick, rough lashing of my tongue. I know she loves my fingers, so I add another and the effect of it has her rocking her hips into me.

    ¡°Yes,¡± she pants, closing her eyes. ¡°Oh, fuck yes.¡±

    I feel her walls begin to tighten as she nears orgasm. The feel of it has me finger fucking her harder and faster. If she gets any tighter, I won¡¯t be able to move my fingers at all. I curl my fingers up and Olivia¡¯s legs draw nearer, threatening to crush my head between her thighs. I almost smile at the thought of making her come and catch her clit between my teeth, biting down on it ever so softly.

    ¡°Seth!¡± she groans, her chest rising and falling quickly. ¡°Don¡¯t stop¡ª¡±

    I¡¯m not going to. As I slip in a third finger, Olivia¡¯s hips jerk upwards as loud moans tear from her lips. ¡°Oh! Oh, God, fuck!¡±

    Her thighs crush my head, but it¡¯s not enough to keep me from pounding her with my fingers.

    ¡°Yes! Ohhh! Seth!¡± Her walls spasm around my fingers and her pussy makes a slushing sound as they slide in and out. Sweet juices trickle from her, coating my finger and my tongue. Her body twitches as the effects of her orgasm wear off, leaving everything in a hypersensitive daze. I remove my fingers and run my tongue over her sweet spot one last time, making her body quiver and her chest heave with a satisfied giggle.

    I slide my body up hers, pressing my hardness into her soft core and she squeezes my hips between her thighs. Excitement flares in the depths of her eyes as I kiss the very tip of her nose and roll off her. I close my eyes briefly, hoping the pulsating tightness in my pants wears off. Olivia sighs, slowly rolling her body my way and tucking herself into my side. Her fingers trail down my chest along my stomach before dancing along the hemline. I¡¯m still hard, still wanting to bury myself inside her, but I won¡¯t. Not tonight.

    I want to be inside her, but I think being selfless and giving her something without receiving anything in return is the best move I can make tonight, in terms of our relationship. She needs to know it¡¯s not all about sex with me. I love her more than sex, and not having sex with her tonight will (hopefully) show her that I¡¯m capable of giving without taking back. I pull her right into me, nestling my chin on top of her damp, strawberry scented hair.

    As her hand curls underneath the band of my pants and swipes the tip of my cock, I snatch her wrist and pull it back. I feel her smile against my skin and I picture her perfect lips curl vividly in my head. So beautiful.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want to?¡±

    ¡°Oh, I want to.¡± I press the palm of her hand against the hard bulge in my pants and grit my teeth against the urge to make her stroke it. ¡°But I¡¯m not going to. Not tonight.¡±

    Her fingers twitch against me and I close my eyes, swallowing the mass of saliva that floods my mouth as the taste of Olivia lingers.

    ¡°Not tonight,¡± I say again, more as a reminder to myself than Olivia.

    She yawns, pulling her hand back and slinging it around my waist. ¡°Who knows, maybe I¡¯ll wake you up with a nice surprise.¡±

    I laugh once. ¡°Don¡¯t. When you do it, I want to be wide awake from start to finish with the lights as bright as they can be. I don¡¯t want to miss a second of it.¡±

    She chuckles sleepily, snuggling closer. ¡°Do you want to film it, too?¡±

    ¡°Can I?¡± I ask, a little too excited than I should have been.

    Olivia swats my chest. ¡°I was being sarcastic. No, you can¡¯t film it.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ll see.¡±

    I can picture her rolling her eyes and I squeeze her a little tighter. ¡°Goodnight.¡±

    ¡°It is now.¡±

    I fall asleep soon after with the love of my life in my arms and the sweetest taste in the world on my tongue.

    Chapter Fourteen

    Olivia

    (T-minus one day until Las Vegas)

    I was alone on the way back to Portland¡ªor at least I might have well as been. Seth slept the whole way after taking a sleeping pill or two because he was feeling particularly anxious about the plane ride with all of the dark clouds hanging around.

    I had to drive us to the airport and try and keep him awake until we got on the plane. It¡¯s not easy bearing the weight of his large frame, I¡¯ll tell you that. In the end, I had him leaning against a pole as I read stupid, unfunny jokes and articles from a Male¡¯s Humor magazine I found on a table nearby. The amount of strange glances we received was ridiculous and Seth¡ªI laugh once under my breath as Seth¡¯s sleepy smile fills my mind¡ªhe¡¯s such a goofball sometimes. It was funny trying to watch him string together complete sentences. He zoned out that many times and ignored that many people I was worried they weren¡¯t going to let us on the plane. Eventually, they did and Seth was down for the count before the pilot had addressed the passengers. I had to clip his seatbelt on and make up a story about him being unwell to the concerned stewardess, who I think wanted Seth to wake up just so she could talk to him. It was all¡­amusing, to say the least. On the plus side, a sleeping Seth meant I could have my blind up and watch as we soared through the clouds.

    Thankfully, Seth¡¯s car was still there when we got back into Portland, and I was the lucky designated driver again.

    ¡°What¡¯s the plan for the rest of the day?¡± Seth yawns, still tired.

    I glance sideways at him as he tugs his black hoodie up over his head and rests against the window. I don¡¯t know why he¡¯s wearing a hoodie. The weather in Portland is warm and sticky¡ªit¡¯s anti-hoodie weather, really.

    ¡°We don¡¯t have any plans.¡±

    ¡°Good. I think I might sleep this off.¡±

    I glance at him again. ¡°It¡¯s only nine a.m. and you want to spend the whole day in bed? I¡¯m assuming it¡¯s not the fun kind of ¡®all day in bed,¡¯ either?¡±

    ¡°I can make it fun.¡± I swear I hear him smile. ¡°After a few hours¡¯ rest.¡±

    I pout. Maybe I can read while Seth sleeps, that might be fun. I haven¡¯t read in a while and I¡¯ve been dying to finish my latest historical romance novel, Love¡¯s Curse.

    I pull into Seth¡¯s driveway and slip from the driver¡¯s seat. I love driving Seth¡¯s car¡ªon the rare occasion that I¡¯m allowed to drive it, that is. It¡¯s big compared to my blue Mazda 6 sitting outside Seth¡¯s house, but I love it so much more.

    I lock the car and hand him his keys when he steps around to meet me on the other side. I glance down the quiet street, thankfully, Jackson isn¡¯t here and Seth and I might just have some absolute peace and quiet to wind down after our trip. Before we walk towards his house, Seth checks his mailbox and pulls out two white letters. One, he stuffs back in, but the other, he opens.

    ¡°Apparently, we have a dinner to go to in Vegas. Formal dress.¡± He looks up at me, pulling the hood off his head and exposing his messy dark hair. ¡°I hate formal wear.¡±

    ¡°Formal dress?¡± I ask, ignoring his complaint. I wrack my brain, desperately trying to remember if I have a dress remotely nice enough for an event like that. Crap.

    ¡°We¡¯re leaving for Vegas tomorrow,¡± I tell him. ¡°I¡¯m have to go dress shopping today.¡±

    ¡°Today? You can¡¯t go tomorrow?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°I need as much time as I can get. It has to be perfect.¡±

    I¡¯m already backing away from Seth towards to my car and dialing Selena¡¯s number in my head.

    ¡°Wait, at least take my card.¡± He reaches for his back pocket and I feel my eyes go wide.

    I¡¯m appalled that he¡¯d reach into his wallet for me. He¡¯s spent enough money this weekend¡ªplane rides, hotels, meals, cars¡ªI can¡¯t fathom him spending another cent on me. I stuff my hands into the pocket of my jeans as he pulls the black and gold card from his wallet, extending it to me.

    ¡°I¡¯m not taking that.¡±

    He shakes his head, like I¡¯m being stupid. ¡°Why? I don¡¯t want you spending your money on a dress you¡¯re only going to wear once.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not taking your card. I¡¯m a big girl, I can take care of myself.¡±

    He steps forward. I step back and he exhales. ¡°Not this again, Olivia. Take the card.¡±

    I whirl around on my heel and unlock my car with my spare key. Thank God I put it in my back pocket before we left California. ¡°I¡¯ll see you later.¡±

    I duck down as I open the door. As quickly as I ducked, I pop back up, meeting Seth¡¯s disapproval head on. ¡°Thanks for California. Love you.¡±

    I dive into my car, start it up for the first time in a few days, and drive towards Annie¡¯s Formal Wear. It¡¯s the only dress shop I know that will definitely have something breathtaking for me. I see the gowns in the window every time I drive past on my way to work in the morning. I dial Selena¡¯s number and bring the phone to my ear.

    ¡°Hey you! Are you back?¡± she answers.

    ¡°Yep, meet me at Annie¡¯s Formal Wear in fifteen. We need dresses for a formal dinner in Vegas.¡±

    ¡°Jackson and I are already sorted for that, but I¡¯ll meet you there, anyway. I don¡¯t want you picking a dress I¡¯d approve of in the nineties.¡±

    I roll my eyes. ¡°Fifteen minutes or I¡¯m shopping without you.¡±

    I drop my phone into a cup holder and speed towards the dress shop. I can¡¯t contain my excitement. It bubbles in my chest and I clench my hands tighter around the steering wheel. Forget clubs and tight small dresses. Elegant gowns and formal dinners are what I¡¯m all about. Those are worth wasting a night for and I need to find the perfect dress¡ªthe kind of dress that will knock Seth¡¯s socks off and have everyone at the dinner eating out of the palm of his hand.

    I meet Selena in the convenience store across the road from the dress shop. I take one look at her tight black dress and tall, gold heels and glance down at my jeans and tee. At least I don¡¯t look like a hooker.

    ¡°How much?¡± I ask, approaching her with a wide smile.

    She smiles back and her bright green eyes flare at me. ¡°Free for you, baby.¡±

    I wrap my arms around her slim frame, pulling her tightly against me. It¡¯s been so long since I¡¯ve hung out with her, just the two of us. ¡°It doesn¡¯t mean anything when you¡¯re giving it out to everyone for free, anyway.¡±

    She squeezes me and the sweet smell of her candy perfume engulfs me. ¡°Hey, I¡¯m just trying to make you feel better about yourself.¡±

    I swat her away and she giggles, exposing her perfect teeth. ¡°Before we go across, I want to get some snacks.¡±

    ¡°Snacks? We¡¯re going dress shopping, not seeing a movie.¡±

    ¡°Hey, if I¡¯m going to be sitting around for a while watching you try on dresses I probably won¡¯t approve of, I¡¯m going to need all of the sustenance I can get.¡±

    With a heavy exhale, I follow her into the convenience store. We walk around the shop and every now and then, I catch Selena glancing at me like she really wants to tell me something.

    ¡°Do I have something on my face?¡± I ask her, rubbing my cheeks.

    ¡°No.,¡±

    ¡°Then why are you staring at me? It¡¯s awkward.¡±

    She stops walking while I look at little packets of Tylenol. There¡¯s a small throb at the back of my skull and I know it¡¯s going to expand into a full blown headache within the next hour or two.

    ¡°I can¡¯t tell you.¡± She complains, frustrated with herself.

    I drag my eyes from the box of Tylenol to her face. ¡°Why can¡¯t you¡ª¡±

    ¡°Okay, fine!¡± She sighs. ¡°I let Jackson do something to me.¡±

    I tuck the Tylenol under my arm as I choke on a laugh. ¡°Geez, I didn¡¯t even finish my question and you¡¯re ready to spill everything. Remind me not to tell you anymore of my secrets. You suck at this interrogation thing.¡±

    She slaps my arm and folds her arms over her chest. ¡°I¡¯d never repeat your secrets.¡±

 Page 25

    I narrow my eyes.Advertisement

    ¡°At least not the really important ones,¡± Selena clarifies with a satisfied nod of her head.

    ¡°They¡¯re all important, that¡¯s why they¡¯re secrets.¡±

    ¡°I think there are definitely different degrees of secrets. For example¡ª¡±

    ¡°Forget the examples,¡± I demand, plucking the Tylenol from under my arm and giving it to her. ¡°Just tell me what you want to tell me.¡±

    She blushes. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I should say. I don¡¯t want you to think I¡¯m weird.¡±

    I snort, absentmindedly picking up a small box and reading the back of it. As soon as I read the first sentence ¡®Ribbed increases her pleasure,¡¯ I flip the box around and read the front before stuffing it back on the shelf. I feel blood rush to my cheeks as Selena laughs her laugh¡ªyou know, the head back mouth wide open kind of laugh, the same laugh that also draws unwanted attention. I move erratically and end up knocking a whole row of condoms off the shelf. Forgetting the mess, I grab Selena¡¯s arm and drag her away. When we round the corner, she shrugs out of my grasp. ¡°Relax, you¡¯re old enough to buy condoms.¡± Her eyes grow wider with excitement. I know that look. It¡¯s the same look she gets when she¡¯s ready to gossip. ¡°Tell me, what size does Seth use?¡±

    ¡°Why are you so obsessed with my sex life and what size condoms my boyfriend uses?¡± I whisper as an elderly woman strolls past.

    I give her a kind smile, one she gracefully returns. Thank God, she didn¡¯t hear me.

    ¡°Because I¡¯m curious. I want to know. I like sex and I like to talk about sex, and now that you finally have a boyfriend I wouldn¡¯t mind picturing naked, I want to know all of the details.¡± We stroll down another aisle¡ªthe confectionary aisle¡ªand Selena grabs a long, skinny packet of Twizzlers. ¡°So, what size?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I mumble, avoiding her face. ¡°We don¡¯t use them.¡±

    The Twizzlers fall to the ground and I stare down at them before looking at Selena¡¯s terrified face. You¡¯d think she just saw a ghost.

    ¡°Are you fucking kidding me? You start banging a hot guy and you throw all caution to the wind? You know what comes from unprotected sex? Fucking babies¡ªcrying, pooing, eating¡ªbabies. Not necessarily in that order and sometimes all at once.¡±

    I laugh at her because there¡¯s nothing else to do. Typical Selena, always blowing things out of proportion.

    ¡°Don¡¯t laugh, O. I¡¯m serious. Do not take that unprotected sex shit lightly¡ªdid you even hear what I said? Babies. B. A. B. I. E. S. Screw that.¡±

    Selena never has been a baby person, but I have. I¡¯ve always wanted kids¡ªhell, I even expected to have at least one by the age of twenty-three.

    ¡°I¡¯m protected,.¡± I say, picking up her lollies. She takes it from my hands and puts in on the shelf. Apparently, she¡¯s lost her appetite.

    ¡°Yeah, and smoke alarms in houses actually prevent fires,¡± she states sarcastically. ¡°By the time you¡¯ve woken up to a smoke alarm, it¡¯s too late. The fire has started and the smoke is already filling the house. Don¡¯t rely on the pill. Double up on protection¡ªshit, triple up on protection. Make no mistakes.¡±

    I roll my eyes and proceed down the aisle. ¡°Anyway,¡± I exhale. ¡°What did you let Jackson do to you?¡±

    With a huff, she drops the conversation about Seth and I having unprotected sex.

    ¡°Well, let me start off by saying that I¡¯m not afraid to try anything and I¡¯m pretty much DTF for anything.¡±

    DTF? What the hell does that mean? I roll my eyes and Selena scoffs. ¡°Don¡¯t you judge me, O. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.¡± She continues with her story. ¡°Jackson is into some weird things and last night¡­I let him tie me down.¡±

    I stop walking. ¡°You let him tie you down?¡±

    The old lady that passed by us earlier walks by again, this time hearing my mini outburst. I give her my best ¡®I really hope you didn¡¯t hear that¡¯ smile and she frowns at Selena and I before shaking her head and slowly strolling away.

    ¡°Why¡¯d you let him tie you down? You¡¯re a human being, for Christ¡¯s sake, not an animal,¡± I tell her in a harsh whisper.

    ¡°Because I like him and he promised he wouldn¡¯t hurt me.¡±

    ¡°Funny, that¡¯s what the serial killer said to his victim in the last Law and Order episode I watched.¡±

    She blinks at me.

    ¡°It¡¯s a TV sho¡ªnever mind¡ªthe girl was found in a garbage bin. My point is¡­¡± I say. ¡°Okay, so I don¡¯t actually have a point. You can do whatever the hell you want with your body.¡±

    ¡°I know I can¡ªand I do, but the thing is¡­it doesn¡¯t stop at tying down. I wish I could tell you, O, but I promised him I wouldn¡¯t say anything. It took him so long to open up to me sexually and I don¡¯t want you to repeat it to anyone.¡±

    ¡°Who am I going to tell? Mom?¡± I laugh once. ¡°You¡¯re my only friend.¡±

    ¡°Okay, fine. I won¡¯t tell you everything, I¡¯ll just tell you that he¡¯s into public sex.¡±

    That I knew already.

    ¡°And he likes to hurt me.¡±

    I frown.

    ¡°Only when we have sex, it¡¯s not anything over the top. He doesn¡¯t bruise me or cut me or anything like that.¡± Is that supposed to make me feel better? ¡°He likes to slap me¡­ on the ass really hard and sometimes with things like belts or whips. He likes to bite me and pinch me as well as pull my hair¡ª¡±

    ¡°Wait¡­¡± I interrupt. ¡°You just let him do those things to you?¡±

    She shrugs. ¡°He needs it. He can¡¯t¡­finish, unless something unusual is happening and I want to be the person to help him.¡±

    ¡°What he needs is professional help.¡±

    Selena¡¯s brows pull together and her lips straighten into an impassive line. ¡°He doesn¡¯t need professional help, Olivia. He needs someone who understands him.¡±

    Oops. I didn¡¯t mean to step on anyone¡¯s toes, but Jackson has definitely got some deep seated issues.

    ¡°Can you do that, though?¡± I ask her straight out. ¡°What if he wants things that you can¡¯t give to him? What if you draw a line and he wants to cross it?¡±

    She visibly thinks about my question. ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±

    ¡°If you like it when Jackson does all of these things to you, then fine, more power to you. All I¡¯m saying is talk to him before you give yourself over because his problems probably go deeper and darker than what he¡¯s showing you.¡±

    Selena opens her mouth to protest, but I flash her the palm of my hand. ¡°I know he doesn¡¯t like to talk, but you¡¯re compromising for him. Make him compromise for you.¡±

    She thinks for a second, before slowly nodding her head.

    I sigh, hoping she talks to Jackson. I don¡¯t want him taking advantage of Selena¡¯s carefree soul, especially now that she¡¯s falling for him.

    ¡°Now, let¡¯s go find a dress.¡±

    We¡¯re barely in the shop for five minutes before my gaze falls onto a stunning deep purple gown. It flows to the floor and has two thin straps covered in exquisite beaded patterns that come down and circle the waist. Underneath the beaded waist, there¡¯s a thin strip of purple lace that will expose a thin strip of skin before the beaded pattern starts again.

    This.

    This is the dress I¡¯ll wear to Seth¡¯s dinner. It¡¯s sexy. It¡¯s elegant and it¡¯s perfect.

    ¡°That is amazing!¡± Selena coos. She reaches out and pulls it off of the rack. ¡°Try it on.¡±

    She shoves it into my hands and the smooth satin fabric glides between my fingertips. Yep, this is definitely the dress I¡¯m going to wear.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need to try it on. I want it.¡±

    Selena stares at me, the same stare that Seth gave me after I declined using his card. Her stare doesn¡¯t make me excited like Seth¡¯s does, though. ¡°You have to try the dress on, to make sure it fits.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯ll fit,¡± I tell her, hugging the dress closer to me.

    She grabs my shoulder, her bony fingers dig into me as she spins me around, nudging me in the direction of the changing rooms.

    Inside, the rooms are spacious. So spacious there¡¯s even a couch to sit on and watch your friends get dressed. That¡¯s not weird at all. Of course, Selena has to sit and watch me change. Once I¡¯m in the dress, I feel different, and at risk of sounding like a complete and utter loser, I feel like a princess. The dress exposes an appropriate portion of my breasts and clings to my waist and hips before flowing smoothly down my legs in an endless stream of purple perfection.

    ¡°Seth will really like this.¡± I smile, twirling to look at the back. The back of the dress elegantly exposes my back.

    ¡°He will. Who knows, maybe he¡¯ll like it enough not to tear it from your body.¡±

    My eyes flick to her and I feel my cheeks grow red. Seth has a habit of tearing all of my pretty things. ¡°No comment.¡±

    Selena falls back against the couch in defeat. ¡°Come on. You¡¯re no fun! Tell me about it. Tell me something about Seth and sex. I bet he¡¯s good, is he good?¡±

    The store owner peers awkwardly around the door and Selena smiles at her like nothing is wrong. The lady returns Selena¡¯s smile with a glare, like we¡¯re unworthy of being in her store before huffing once and stalking away. Selena rolls her eyes and continues talking, unashamed. ¡°At least tell me one thing he does that you like?¡±

    I proceed to unzip the dress. ¡°No, Sel, I¡¯m not telling you anything. You¡¯ll repeat it to Jackson and whoever else will listen¡ªprobably even my mom.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t, I promise.¡±

    I shake my head and Selena tries a different approach. An approach she knows will get a reaction out of me.

    ¡°Do you like it when he kisses your neck?¡± I step away from the mirror so she can¡¯t see my emerging smile in the reflection. ¡°Maybe you like it when his strong hands roam your body, gripping you in all of the right places?¡±

    ¡°Selena,¡± I warn her. Her words make me breathless as I imagine all of the things she says vividly in my head.

    ¡°Or maybe you like it when he moans your name¡­¡± She moans my name in her best ¡®Seth¡¯ voice and I grab the emerald dress that hangs on the rack. I glance over my shoulder and she smiles wickedly at me as my face heats up. ¡°When he takes you roughly from behind?¡±

    I turn and throw the dress at her and she laughs wildly, balling the fabric. ¡°You are such a dirty girl, O! Underneath that innocent face there¡¯s a sexual beast, isn¡¯t there?¡±

    I want to be mad at her for being so uncensored, but I can¡¯t. She has one of those faces¡ªlike Seth¡¯s¡ªone you just can¡¯t bring yourself to hate. As she giggles like an idiot, I remove myself from the gown and get back into my plain blue jeans and white tee.

    ¡°I¡¯ll get this dress. Now, let¡¯s get the hell out of here before you embarrass me anymore.¡±

    I trot from the dressing room and pay for my dress, all while Selena giggles behind me. She can¡¯t stop. She loves tormenting me, she always has, and the store owner doesn¡¯t appreciate me blurting out a laugh once or twice as she rings my purchases up on the register. I think I even spat on her a couple of times. Stupid Selena, it¡¯s like high school all over again. You know, when you¡¯re trying desperately not to laugh, but end up cackling like a psychopath? Yeah, this is one of those moments and when she hands me my receipt, I can¡¯t get out of there quick enough.

    After the dress shop, Selena went to see Jackson and I went home. I figure I¡¯ll have an easier time keeping myself from showing Seth my dress if I don¡¯t see him straight away. Strangely, Mom isn¡¯t home, so I go straight to my room and hang my dress in my closet. Boxes still litter the floor, along with a ridiculous amount of clothes. Dirty or clean, I have no idea. My phone rings and I know it¡¯s Seth because I set his walk in song as his personal ringtone while we were in California. I pull it from my pocket and bring it to my ear, closing my wardrobe and leaning against it.

    ¡°Hello?¡±

    He yawns his hello to me. Seriously? He was sleeping the whole time I was out? Somehow, I was gone for almost three hours.

    ¡°Sleep well?¡±

    ¡°I would have if you were here.¡± He sighs. ¡°I slept okay. What are you doing?¡±

    I love when his voice is all husky from sleep.

    ¡°I just got home and put my dress away. I¡¯m probably going to start packing for Vegas.¡±

    ¡°Fun,¡± he deadpans and I smile. Seth hates packing more than I do and I know he¡¯ll leave his until the hour before we leave. ¡°I¡¯m heading down to the gym. Darryl called and wants to do a small training sesh this afternoon.¡±

    ¡°Be careful. How are you feeling? I didn¡¯t really take care of you too well in California¡­¡±

    ¡°You were perfect in California and I¡¯m fine. I hardly feel a thing.¡±

    I believe him. The time we spent in California was both relaxing and liberating¡ªwe didn¡¯t have sex and Seth didn¡¯t get into any fights, so his body had a good chance to recover. I know he won¡¯t miraculously heal overnight, but he¡¯ll be perfect by the time his fight comes around in a little over two weeks. We¡¯re all leaving for Vegas in two days¡ªSelena, Jackson, Darryl, Seth and I¡ªplus whatever staff the MMAC have assigned to Seth. From twelve a.m. the day of our departure to Vegas will be exactly t-minus two weeks until Seth¡¯s first debut professional fight. He seems excited for it, but I wish he expressed his feelings to me¡ªnot the cocky bullshit he uses to cover his worry. Seth is confident in his skills, but I also know he doubts himself more than anyone else I know. Not that he¡¯d ever admit that.

 Page 26

    ¡°Will I see you today?¡± he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.Advertisement

    ¡°You can see me anytime you want. I was going to pack, but if you need me at the gym, I¡¯ll be there.¡±

    ¡°No, I think I can manage¡­just.¡± He laughs once under his breath. ¡°Pack your bags and I¡¯ll call you later.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°I love you.¡± His three little words make me smile widely and I turn my body so I don¡¯t see my cheesy smile in the mirror on my dresser.

    ¡°I love you, too.¡±

    He lingers on the line for a few seconds longer before sighing and hanging up. I don¡¯t know what goes through his head sometimes. I lob my phone onto my bed and place my hands on my hips. I don¡¯t have to pull my suitcase out from any hidden nook¡ªit¡¯s already open on the floor of my room. I step toward it, lifting my feet higher than normal so no tricky clothes wrap themselves around my toes and trip me. I kneel beside the suitcase and run the palms of my hands down my thighs, letting a heavy exhale fall from me. Finally, I reach out and begin sorting through the clothes as I pack for the biggest adventure of my life.

    Chapter Fifteen

    Seth

    I lean against my car, my hands stuffed into my jeans as I wait for Olivia. Portland is surprisingly cold at four-thirty in the morning. Apparently, Darryl booked the earliest flights he could get. He¡¯s all about making the most of his day and he doesn¡¯t want to spend the bulk of it sitting in an airplane. By my calculations, we get on the plane at five-thirty a.m. and we¡¯ll be in Nevada by eleven a.m. Not bad, but it¡¯s still too goddamn long for me. I¡¯d much rather drive the two thousand, eight hundred and eighteen miles to get there and avoid falling from the sky. I¡¯ve been lucky so far, but how long can I dance with death? One of these days, he and karma might decide they¡¯re sick of my shit and send me plummeting into the ocean.

    I¡¯m jerked from images of a falling, fiery death by the sound of Olivia¡¯s front door opening and the screen slapping against the brick wall. Seeing her immediately eases some of my hesitation and I push off of the car and make my way through the gate to grab her suitcase for her. She looks adorable in a white hooded jacket and black slacks. Olivia smiles sleepily at me and I can¡¯t help but smile back. She¡¯s too pretty not to smile at, even when she¡¯s mad.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± she greets me, making my heart feel all stupid and warm.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± I reply, taking her suitcase and pushing it behind me.

    Forgetting the luggage, I grab Olivia¡¯s jacket and tug her to me. Her sleepy face wakes up the instant I press my body against hers. I don¡¯t know why I always pull her into me¡­but I feel better when I¡¯m touching her. I feel at peace, like everything is okay. Her green eyes study my face, watching me closely. I want to kiss her. I¡¯m going to kiss her. I lower my mouth to her, barely pressing my lips against hers. I pause for a little while, listening to her quick breathing. I love the way I affect her and I know if I slipped my hands into her pants, she¡¯d be wet and ready for me¡ªshe always is. As I press my lips harder against hers, her Mom, Sandra, trails out behind her carrying a long black bag.

    ¡°Don¡¯t forget your dress, Olivia. Morning, Seth.¡±

    Olivia snaps away from me, like I¡¯m a hot plate she absentmindedly put her hands on. I smile, amused by her reaction. Olivia takes the dress from her mother and briefly looks at me, her pink cheeks flaring before she takes the dress to the car. An awkward silence fills the air between Sandra and I. I know Sandra isn¡¯t exactly my number one fan, but I also know she likes me enough to be with her daughter.

    ¡°I¡¯m going to ask her to marry me,¡± I tell Sandra flat out, no bullshit.

    Her thin, brown eyebrows almost rise to her hairline, but she tries to play my announcement off as no big deal. ¡°Are you now?¡±

    ¡°Yes, while we¡¯re in Vegas. And I¡¯m going to take her from this house and put her in mine.¡±

    The corner of Sandra¡¯s lips twitch, her sludgy, green eyes narrowing in on me. ¡°I get the feeling you¡¯re not asking for my permission?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°No, ma¡¯am. I¡¯m telling you how things are going to go.¡±

    She folds her arms. She looks so tiny in her floral robe. ¡°You¡¯re awfully confident Olivia is going to say yes.¡±

    ¡°I am,¡± I say and my stomach churns with the lie. I don¡¯t know why I feel so much apprehension about her response. She loves me. She tells me almost every day, but she¡¯s also flighty and unpredictable. There¡¯s a chance she¡¯ll say no or not yet and my mission in Vegas is to take away those chances. When I¡¯m positive she¡¯ll do anything for me, I¡¯ll ask her and I won¡¯t ask her the traditional way. No. I¡¯ll ask her the ¡®Seth¡¯ way so she never fucking forgets it.

    ¡°Well, you have my approval¡­even if you don¡¯t want it.¡±

    Her words catch me off guard and I¡¯m suddenly frozen, incapable of speech. Did she just give me permission? Did Sandra James give me, Seth Marc, her blessing? I fight the urge to pinch myself to see if I¡¯m dreaming.

    ¡°Thank you.¡±

    She flicks her hand at me and I snatch it, pulling her into a hug. Instead of swatting me away like I expected, she chuckles and quickly pats my back. When I release her and she steps back, she swipes at her eyes and turns her back to me.

    ¡°Safe travels. Keep my baby safe.¡±

    Before I can respond, she enters the house and shuts the door. I grab the suitcase and turn toward the car, Olivia has the door open and both she and Selena are staring at me, their eyes bulging out of their skulls.

    ¡°What?¡± I ask as I open the gate and step through it.

    ¡°Nothing,¡± they respond in unison.

    I approach the rear of the car and put the last suitcase inside. Olivia and Selena¡¯s suitcase takes up the most space, leaving just enough room for the rest of us.

    Thankfully, Jackson is in the front seat and Selena is in the back. I swear to God if I have to listen to one more make out session or moan fall from either of their lips I¡¯m going to snap. I climb into the backseat and Olivia immediately snuggles into me. I haven¡¯t seen her since I called her last. I¡¯ve been so busy sorting out the gym for our leave and dealing with lawyers I haven¡¯t had time to show her any attention.

    On the plus side, my lawyers told me the MMAC is reviewing the settlement details. They refuse to let Don go, they want to draft him at some point and this little¡­predicament is the only thing stopping them.

    Darryl drives towards the airport. I wrap my arm around Olivia¡¯s shoulder, pulling her closer. I want to touch her¡ªto smell her. I need anything and everything from her, to make up for her absence.

    ¡°You amaze me,¡± Olivia mumbles, her voice loud enough for only me to hear over the sound of the soft music. I glance down at her, taking in the sharp angles of her face and her kind eyes and juicy, soft lips.

    ¡°Me?¡±

    She nods without an explanation and I don¡¯t press her. I can survive off those words alone. Her eyes don¡¯t drop from mine and I keep watching her, waiting for her to look away. Instead, I feel a build up of electricity starting in my chest and radiating south. Suddenly, my surroundings fade away and she holds all of my attention. I run my fingers up her neck and across her cheek to her bottom lip. Her lips part, her tongue emerges, and I watch as it licks the top of my finger¡ªso soft and wet. I can¡¯t help but wonder what her tongue feels like against other parts of my anatomy and I shift slightly in my seat, hoping to make my jeans feel less¡­tight. My mouth runs dry and if it were just us, I¡¯d pull over and moisten it with the taste of her. I¡¯d let her soak every inch of fabric in the car with her delicious wetness.

    I slip my finger from her mouth, but keep my gaze locked on her lips. She straightens her back, bringing her mouth closer to mine and then she kisses me. It¡¯s slow and quiet, going unnoticed by the other three. My eyes close and I run the back of my finger along her jawline. Then, I crack under my urges and grip her jaw, forcing her mouth harder against mine. I feel her breath being sucked from her lungs and I swear I hear her heartbeat pick up and her pussy become slick with need.

    ¡°Easy now.¡± I hear Selena giggle. ¡°My makeup isn¡¯t water proof.¡±

    Olivia pulls away from me and rests against my shoulder. I hear Jackson laugh in the front seat and see the side of Darryl¡¯s face as he smiles. ¡°Neither is my phone.¡±

    Silence falls in the car for a split second before it¡¯s broken by laughter¡ªfrom all of us and soon after, we dive into conversations about Vegas and what we should do there. Darryl is first to pipe in.

    ¡°We¡¯re unavailable five hours a day, every day, leading up to the fight. That¡¯s two hours in the morning¡ªfour a.m. to six a.m. One hour during the day, eleven a.m. to twelve p.m., and then four p.m. to six p.m.¡± He clears his throat. ¡°Outside of those times, you¡¯re free to do whatever you like¡ªexcept all of the things you¡¯re not allowed to do like drinking, or doing something stupid that can put you at risk.¡±

    ¡°Strip clubs aren¡¯t bad for you,¡± Jackson chimes in and I feel Olivia go rigid against me.

    I rake my teeth over my bottom lip, recalling the last time we went to a strip club. It was such a stupid move on my part. Olivia wanted to stay home, but I was the designated driver and I forced her to come out with us. We all made a few bad decisions that night and Olivia suffered the consequences for all of them.

    ¡°No strip clubs,¡± Olivia orders. ¡°I¡¯m not making out with a stripper again. It was disturbing enough the first time.¡±

    Jackson roars with laughter and I hear him slap his thighs. ¡°Jesus Christ, that was so funny. Every time I picture your face when she kissed you, I laugh. You were a deer in headlights.¡±

    ¡°Yes. Ha. Ha. Laugh it up.¡±

    I stroke Olivia¡¯s arm with my thumb as Selena speaks. ¡°I¡¯ve always wanted to go to a strip club in Vegas. We have to.¡±

    ¡°Going to Vegas and not going to a strip club is like going to Paris and not bothering with the Eiffel Tower. What¡¯s the point?¡± Jackson chimes in.

    Selena agrees.

    ¡°No one is stopping you guys from going, but don¡¯t expect me to tag along,¡± Olivia states, yawning.

    The car fills with lively chatter about all of Vegas¡¯s endless possibilities and all I can think about is snuggling with Olivia in my spare time. Fuck the casinos. Fuck the strip clubs. I want to lie in bed with my girl and enjoy every second I can because the closer I get to my first pro fight, the more unnerved I know I¡¯ll become. I¡¯m two weeks out and I already feel anxious¡­my first pro fight¡­in Las Vegas, Nevada, at the MGM Grand in front of thousands of spectators as well as being broadcasted across the sports network. I need my head in the game, not in some stripper¡¯s breasts or in a poker machine.

    I¡¯m not in Las Vegas for pleasure. It¡¯s business only and I will treat it as such.

    We drive along Las Vegas Boulevard, but I¡¯m still too nervous from the plane ride to really appreciate it. I rest my head against the headrest while Olivia and Selena stick their heads out of the limo sunroof like little puppies. I almost smile. I was the same the first time I rode in a limo. It¡¯s hot in Nevada and the open sunroof doesn¡¯t allow for the air conditioning to work to its full potential.

    ¡°Shutting the roof!¡± Darryl calls through the front window, as if reading my mind.

    Darryl decided he¡¯ll drive the limo, not trusting anyone else to chauffeur his precious cargo around. Here¡¯s an unknown fact about Darryl, he has a license to drive a bus, a car, a limo, and a truck. How many of them fall under the same license category, I have no idea, but it¡¯s still impressive.

    Selena and Olivia drop down, nestling comfortably in their seats with a remaining fit of giggles shaking their bodies. Their faces are flushed with the outside heat and as soon as the roof closes, I feel the cooler air brush over my skin.

    I watch as Olivia slides across the leather seats and right into me. My eyes flit to her nice sky blue blouse. It clings to her slim waist and hips, exposing a small portion of her cleavage, too. The fabric is thin and I know I can easily ruin it with my teeth. She removed her jacket a long time ago and I¡¯ve had the pleasure of carrying it around with me.

    During the day, Vegas is still surprisingly busy, filled with the tourists who want to avoid Vegas¡¯s nightlife. I don¡¯t blame them. The nightlife here in Vegas can get pretty wild. Everyone is looking to make their own Hangover story and to indulge in all of the city¡¯s darkest pleasures.

    We slowly make our way up Las Vegas Boulevard and soon enough, we arrive at the MGM Grand. The others waste no time in clambering excitedly from the car, but I wait a little while to gather my thoughts. Olivia waits too, watching me curiously.

    ¡°You made it to Vegas,¡± she tells me and I look at her.

    She tucks a lock of long, chocolate hair behind her ear and her lips curve with the hint of a smile. ¡°I¡¯m proud of you.¡±

    Her long, soft fingers slide over the back of my hand that lies idly in my lap. I don¡¯t know why I feel so out of it. My chest aches and the warmer air makes it harder for me to breathe. This is the beginning of my new life¡ªthe life I never really expected to have. I made it through hard work and dedication¡­so why do I suddenly feel like I¡¯m not strong enough to be here? The feeling of impending failure is weighing down on me and I can¡¯t shake it and I haven¡¯t been able to since I fell asleep last night. I guess I always expected this to fall to pieces. Every good thing I get never works out and I¡¯m cautious as to why this is all still happening for me.

    ¡°You¡¯re dead weight,¡± Dad¡¯s voice rings throughout my mind.

 Page 27

    I remember laughing at him. ¡°I¡¯m not dead weight. I¡¯m a fucking balloon¡ªa soaring fucking plane and I¡¯m never coming down.¡±Advertisement

    ¡°Balloons may fly high, but after a certain limit they pop and planes have to land sometime. They both have their needs and limitations, just like you. You could have said bird, they don¡¯t need much sustenance and they don¡¯t fly too high, but you had to go and put yourself thousands and thousands of feet above everyone else. That says a lot about you, your personality and your temperament. You always have to be number one. You always put your wants and needs before anyone else¡¯s, and you always have to be in control¡­I feel sorry for you, Seth.¡±

    I swallow. Would it have killed him to say that he¡¯s proud of me on a regular basis? Shit, he didn¡¯t even have to tell me he was proud of me, actually disciplining me and giving me proper advice on what to do and what not to do would have sufficed. Yes, I fucked up a lot with school and girls. Yes, I dropped out of college and refused to get a normal job. I probably drank way too much and started way too many fights, but I was only a kid. Isn¡¯t that what kids do?

    This year has done nothing but inflate me¡­why haven¡¯t I popped yet? Why haven¡¯t I landed for fuel? I¡¯m getting dangerously close to the sun with no sign of bursting. My fuel is redlining, but my engines are running just fine on the fumes.

    ¡°And I¡¯m sure your dad is proud of you as well,¡± Olivia adds with a smile.

    And then it hits me. I haven¡¯t popped or crashed and burned yet because of her. She has been keeping me up. If it wasn¡¯t for her, I¡¯d have flaked on my first fight in the amateur tournament against Frederick Kennedy¡ªI was about to throw in the towel, but she helped me. She came into my room and touched me. She didn¡¯t have to. I did nothing but treat her like shit prior to that¡ªonly seeking to get one thing from her. She let me in¡­she saw something in me and let me into her life. The other night Jackson asked me why I chose her, but the real question is, why did she choose me? Why did she take a risk with me? She¡¯s not the lucky one here, I am, and I count my blessings every fucking day. Olivia is the string attached to my balloon. I haven¡¯t popped because she hasn¡¯t let me. Olivia is the fuelling jet, following me as I soar through the clouds. She feeds me fuel a little portion at a time, so I don¡¯t get ahead of myself. She keeps me grounded and that¡¯s why I love her.

    Olivia doesn¡¯t know about the tense relationship with my dad¡ªat least not in its entirety, and it isn¡¯t really a big enough issue to share with her.

    ¡°I don¡¯t care about that anymore,¡± I reply, sliding my arms around her waist and inching her closer to me.

    ¡°No?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°Only what you think of me matters.¡±

    ¡°Is that right?¡±

    I nod, slipping my hand under her shirt and caressing the small of her back. The touch alone is enough to ease the nervous grind in my stomach.

    ¡°And what do you think of me?¡±

    She purses her lips in thought and as she¡¯s about to speak, Jackson¡¯s light hair and green eyes peer around the door and stick into the car. ¡°You two coming?¡±

    ¡°Five minutes,¡± I demand. ¡°Shut the door.¡±

    With a swift nod, he closes the door.

    ¡°Can we do this later? We¡¯re holding everybody up.¡±

    I shake my head, slightly. ¡°Now is fine.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡± She drops her gaze and fidgets with my shirt. ¡°I think you are insatiable, intense, aggressive, hard to read, and stubborn.¡±

    Old news. Even I know that.

    ¡°But I also think you are confident, determined, hardworking, handsome¡ª¡±

    ¡°Good in bed,¡± I chime in, suddenly feeling playful. ¡°Amazing with my hands, but better with my mouth and I have nice sized c¡ª¡±

    ¡°Ego,¡± she cuts in, her cheeks flushing. ¡°Yeah, your ego is huge.¡±

    ¡°Is that what we¡¯re calling it now? It¡¯s a strange nickname but I think I can make it work.¡±

    She slaps my chest and I grab her arms, pinning them to her side. She thrashes against me trying to break away. I¡¯m barely using any strength to hold her down and I find it extremely amusing (and a little arousing) that she¡¯s fighting so hard against me.

    ¡°You love my ego.¡± I chuckle, yanking her forward so her chest is flush on mine and her lips only inches away. ¡°You love the way my ego feels.¡±

    I tilt my head forward and she gasps as I suck her bottom lip into my mouth. I let it go. ¡°Whether you like the way it tastes is yet to be seen.¡±

    I watch her face as her lips straighten into a serious line. ¡°Keep this grip on me and I guarantee your ego won¡¯t see the outside of your pants this entire trip.¡±

    I arch an eyebrow, but her face doesn¡¯t falter and I release her. Not a second later, she crushes her lips to mine. Olivia parts her thighs and slips them over mine as she rakes her fingers through my hair. It takes me by complete surprise. I¡¯m thoroughly dazed, my brain and body out of sync as they desperately scatter to catch up with each other. As her tongue roughly massages mine, my hands come up and grip her ass, pulling her hard against me. With a sharp inhale, she rolls her hips into me and I groan into her mouth. Luckily, the windows are black glass and no one can see in. Only my eyes will see my girl when she¡¯s like this¡ªhorny and commanding. I think having her hands on me is exactly what I need to ease the negative thoughts. My head swims with the taste of her and the feel of her against me. Only she has the power to consume me, to eradicate all train of rational thinking. Even an occasional brush of her hand against my skin is enough to send a warm shock through my system.

    Olivia pulls back an inch and our breath collides between us. I look at her face. Her eyes are thinned into lusty slits, her lips swollen from our kiss. The waves of energy between us has my heart pounding and it takes all of my strength not to swallow hard.

    ¡°I promise I will love every second I get to taste you.¡±

    She leans forward and in one painfully slow movement, she kisses me softly before sliding off me and exiting the car.

    I exhale, pulling her jacket over my lap to conceal the erection that¡¯s trying to force its way through my zipper and I give myself a few long minutes to compose myself before sliding from the car. The hot, sticky air clings to me and I can¡¯t wait to get inside and out of the desert heat.

    The valets take the keys from Darryl while the bell boys retrieve our bags from the back.

    ¡°Vegas, baby!¡± Jackson cheers, slinging an arm over my shoulder.

    I nudge him with my elbow and he recoils. ¡°Let¡¯s not make this a repeat of our first trip to Vegas. Let¡¯s keep it like last time, nice and quiet.¡±

    He scoffs. ¡°You had a ball when we came the first time.¡±

    He¡¯s referring to the time he and I came to Vegas for my twenty-first birthday .I roll my eyes at him. ¡°It¡¯s because of that first time I don¡¯t drink anymore.¡±

    Jackson is the only one I know who wears a t-shirt with a formal jacket. Sure, it looks good, but that doesn¡¯t make it any less weird.

    ¡°You¡¯re the only person in the world that¡¯d be upset by what you did.¡± He shakes his head. ¡°Not me. That was fucking awesome!¡±

    My gaze nervously flicks to Olivia, who seems to be deep in conversation with Selena as they gush over the giant gold lion at the front. I don¡¯t want her to know what I did years ago in Vegas. It makes me sick to even think about it.

    ¡°Don¡¯t bring it up anymore,¡± I order, my voice sounding a lot more aggressive than I intend.

    Jackson flashes me his palms, smiling deviously. ¡°Relax, I won¡¯t tell her. Your secret is safe with me.¡±

    He winks and it makes me a little nervous. It¡¯s not really a secret. It¡¯s not that I want to hide it, I just don¡¯t like being reminded of it. I was only twenty-one at the time and I was stupid. Jackson and I got a little wild. Vegas is the ultimate party spot and when I drink, I tend to get a little out of control¡ªin every sense of the term. I got into a fight outside a strip joint¡ªbroke the guy¡¯s nose in two places and had sex with three girls at the same time. My stomach churns as my brain pulls up on and off broken flashbacks of me fucking all of them. I cringe. I¡¯ve never been more disgusted with myself. I¡¯m not one to regret or care about my decisions because at that point in time, it was exactly what I wanted¡­but that night left me feeling as stupid and as low and pathetic as my dad always implied. When I drink, I become uncontrollable¡ªangry, horny, and unstoppable. It¡¯s not something I¡¯m proud of, either, and it¡¯s something I tend to avoid. I don¡¯t like that part of me. I don¡¯t like that alcohol brings out a more magnified version of me and my inability to control myself was part the reason I always declined alcohol around Olivia. If she thinks I¡¯m insatiable and aggressive now, she hasn¡¯t seen anything until I¡¯ve had my fair share of booze. The second time I saw Olivia, at Lux¡¯s back in Portland, I went out that night with only the intent to drink and fuck her out of my mind¡­but then I saw her dancing with Selena and she planted her roots in. I stopped drinking after half a beer on the notion that if I drank anymore, I wouldn¡¯t treat her like the good girl she is. I wouldn¡¯t have stopped until I had Olivia in the bathroom, in the alleyway, or on the fucking dance floor¡ªI didn¡¯t care.

    Olivia, however, is the polar opposite. When she drinks, she¡¯s all cute and bubbly, complete with hiccups and all.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go and settle in, ladies and gentlemen,¡± Darryl announces, slipping a pink ¡®Let¡¯s Party¡¯ shirt on over the top of his black tee. ¡°This is our home for the next three weeks. I am without children and other father-related responsibilities.¡± He looks at me. ¡°Well, mostly.¡±

    I laugh. Darryl is a known party animal. He loves beer, boobs, and dancing. He¡¯ll undoubtedly want to hit up a strip club or two while we¡¯re here, and he¡¯ll call his wife, Janie, right in the middle of it. That¡¯s the kind of relationship Darryl and Janie share. Janie has no problem with Darryl having fun with the boys. In fact, she¡¯s tagged along once or twice. Olivia¡¯s fingers thread though mine. I hadn¡¯t realized she left Selena and approached me. I squeeze them gently and I feel her fingers flex in return.

    ¡°Look!¡± Selena squeals, pointing out toward the road. ¡°They¡¯ve got you on a TV.¡±

    I follow the direction her skinny arm is pointing and I see me on an LED television up high by the road. I scan my stern face and oiled skin. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever get used to seeing myself so¡­public. Being ¡®out there¡¯ only makes it more embarrassing if I fail .I look at my opponent, Junior Moset, on the opposite side of the screen, who I¡¯ll fight in the MGM Grand Garden Arena. He¡¯s a little smaller than me¡­not intimidating at all¡­so why am I suddenly feeling so much self-doubt? I don¡¯t deserve this and I¡¯m going to fuck it up. I start to over think things¡ªeverything feels wrong. Olivia releases my hand and her fingers travel north before wrapping around my elbow and pulling my arm into her chest. Olivia doesn¡¯t touch my face or hold me like she usually does when I¡¯m feeling on edge. Those moments are for us only and I don¡¯t like sharing my problems with everyone else¡ªeven Darryl and Jackson. If I really focus, I¡¯m sure I can feel her heart beating against me and the thought alone is enough to ease my tension.

    ¡°We can all gaze on Seth¡¯s perfection later.¡± Olivia laughs. ¡°I want to see my room.¡±

    ¡°Since you boys are going to be busy all the time, maybe Olivia and I should share a room?¡± Selena suggests, flicking her long blonde hair over shoulder.

    Like fucking hell. Jackson and I start our protest at the same time, forcing Selena to take a slight step backwards.

    ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a bad ide¡ª¡± Olivia begins and I cut her off.

    ¡°You¡¯re staying with me.¡±

    Vegas is a big city and not the kind of place I want Olivia walking around without me, especially under the influence of Selena who, let¡¯s face it, isn¡¯t exactly the smartest person in the world or the most innocent. When I first met Olivia, she was drinking beer in a steakhouse in the morning, roofied in a club, and groped in a parking lot all because of Selena. I won¡¯t have it. No fucking way.

    Selena¡¯s green eyes narrow in on me. ¡°Jesus Christ, it¡¯s only a suggestion. Nobody is taking your precious away from you.¡±

    Beside me, Olivia giggles and when I look down at her, she shrugs and bites her lip. I¡¯m glad she finds this so amusing, but I don¡¯t. I need our time in Vegas to go off without a hitch. Everything I¡¯ve planned for Vegas all adds up to the one big question I will ask her. All of it. I can¡¯t take any chances.

    Darryl sighs. ¡°Keep fighting and Olivia and Selena are sharing a room with me. Stick to the original plan. Selena and Jackson, Seth and Olivia, and me and myself. Happy?¡±

    Everyone agrees and turns to enter the hotel. I glance over my shoulder and take one last look at the sign.

    I can do this.

    Chapter Sixteen

    Olivia

    I still can¡¯t get over the sheer extravagance of our room. Even with Jackson, Darryl and Selena here, the Skyline Terrace suite still feels large and empty. The two-story suite is easily seven hundred and eighty square feet and is filled with loads of elegant furniture. Why he paid for such a big suite for just the two of us is beyond me, all five of us can fit in here easily.

    I drop my black stilettos onto the bathroom tiles and adjust my clingy dress. Selena brought it up for me to wear after she refused to let me leave the hotel in the plum colored dress I¡¯d originally chosen. This one is nice, if not a little revealing.

 Page 28

    I side step in front of the arty floor length mirror just outside of the bathroom and into the master bedroom. I adjust the front of the dress to prevent my nipple from falling out before analyzing the rest of my outfit. The hemline at the base of the dress stops mid-thigh and curves a little higher in the middle, exposing a large portion of my legs. I turn around and my back is completely exposed, the whole dress held together by a few thin straps attached to a metal ring in the middle of my spine. This dress is the epitome of sexy club dresses¡­and it so isn¡¯t my style.Advertisement

    The bedroom door whips open and Seth strolls in. I watch him, waiting for him to see me, but apparently he thinks he¡¯s alone up here. I lean against the wall and watch him and his delicious naked torso walk around the room, apparently in search of a shirt. He threw his clothes all over the bed when we arrived and I put them away in the wardrobe. Might as well settle in, this is our home for three weeks.

    He pauses and scratches the back of his head. I smile and bite back a giggle. Watching someone as beautiful as him be so genuinely perplexed is amusing and heart-warming.

    ¡°They¡¯re in the wardrobe,¡± I tell him with a chuckle.

    He snaps around to face me and his expression shifts from surprised to¡­something else. I know the look. I¡¯ve been on the receiving end of it for months now¡ªdesire. Pure desire. The look in his eyes makes my heart rate increase, but I continue to lean coolly against the wall, like he isn¡¯t affecting me. He inhales and his muscles contract, relaxing on exhale.

    ¡°What happened to the other dress? The purple one?¡±

    I want to tell him the difference between purple and plum, but you know what? He¡¯s a male, he¡¯ll never understand. Lavender, plum, mauve¡ªto them it¡¯s all ¡®purple.¡¯

    ¡°I changed my mind.¡± I don¡¯t tell him it¡¯s Selena¡¯s. He already has a few¡­issues with her decisions. ¡°You don¡¯t like this one.¡±

    He nods slowly. ¡°And I¡¯d be an idiot to let you leave this room in it.¡±

    I step forward, feeling rather daring. I don¡¯t know what it is, but lately I like challenging Seth and it turns out, with enough force, he melts like putty in my hands. It¡¯s a nice change. He¡¯s always the one to order me around and mold me to what he wants, but now it¡¯s me. I wonder if he realizes that he¡¯s bending to my needs. I wonder if he realizes that he¡¯s a hell of a lot more in love with me than he knows. What does Jackson call him? Pussy whipped. That¡¯s it. Seth is pussy whipped, by me.

    I step toward him, smiling. It¡¯s not one of my usual smiles. I can feel it. It¡¯s mischievous¡ªdaring. ¡°Are you going to stop me?¡±

    His eyes thin out and the challenge comes through loud and clear. Testing him, I proceed to walk past him and I barely make one step past his body before his hand shoots out, planting itself on my stomach. The heat from his hand causes my stomach muscles to clench. I look at him and his dark eyes are on mine. They lure me in from underneath his brow and I turn my body toward him, completely hypnotized by his intensity.

    ¡°I¡¯m not going to stop you,¡± he tells me. ¡°But I am going to make sure you remember exactly who you¡¯re with and exactly who you¡¯re coming home with.¡±

    As if I¡¯d forget. He comes at me, gripping my hips and forcing me backwards. The back of my legs hit a table and pushes me against it. I drop my hands to the surface to stabilize myself as Seth smashes his mouth to mine. Tingling warmth and pleasure sweeps through me as one of his hands rest on the table behind me, the other heavy hand pulls my dress up to my hips and slips straight into my underwear without so much as a please. He doesn¡¯t check to see if I¡¯m ready or not because he knows I am¡ªI always am for him and he slips a finger inside me. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as a shiver tears down my spine. A frisson of hot, sinful pleasure hums my skin and I shift my hips forward, wanting to be closer to him as my patience gets the best of me. I¡¯m so incredibly wet and his finger glides with ease in and out of me.

    I lift my hands, placing them on his hard biceps and I feel him trembling with lust. He hunches over me with a rough exhale, adding a second finger and forcing me to bend with him, arching my back.

    His fingers slide in and out quickly now, with purpose and intention. He lowers his mouth to my ear and I shudder, rolling my hips on his hand. ¡°All night you are going to feel my fingers inside you.¡±

    He curls his fingers, grazing my sweet spot, and I clench his arms, gasping unashamedly into his shoulder. He pumps his fingers harder and faster, pressing into me from the inside. My mind blanks and my body jerks as heat explodes inside me, leaving me breathless and desperately limp.

    Seth pulls his fingers out and brings them to my face before dragging one over my bottom lip. ¡°All night you are going to remember how hard I made you come and you¡¯re going to be eager to get home so I can do it to you all over again.¡± The way he draws the last three words moistens me immediately. ¡°When we come home, I¡¯m going to pound into you so hard, you¡¯ll feel like you¡¯re going to break.¡±

    ¡°You want to break me?¡±

    His scorching eyes flare at me. ¡°Like fucking porcelain. I¡¯m going to lie you down on the bed, spread your legs, and fuck you so thoroughly the only word you¡¯ll remember tomorrow is my name.¡±

    I catch my breath. ¡°That epic, huh?¡±

    ¡°You have no idea.¡±

    He kisses my nose and saunters toward the cupboard. I watch, trying to regain my composure as he pulls a shirt from the bedside table. When he¡¯s happy, he turns back around and strolls toward the door. ¡°Let¡¯s get out of here.¡±

    I slip off the table and trail lazily behind Seth as he pulls a nice light blue tee over his head. That¡¯s all it takes for him to get dressed? I spent forty minutes doing my hair and makeup. He rakes his fingers through his hair, throws a shirt on, and calls himself finished¡ªand somehow, he still looks perfect¡ªas if he¡¯d spent an hour grooming himself. If only I could be that simple with anything I do.

    A loud wolf whistle pierces my ear and I cringe, snapping my gaze to Selena.

    ¡°I knew that dress would look amazing on you.¡±

    I take in her outfit and suddenly feel a little underdressed. I have never, ever, ever in my life seen Selena dressed and ready for a club in anything more than tissue sized fabric. Yet, here I am, the one in a skimpy dress and her dressed to the classy nines in a pair of tight, black slacks, high black heels and a beautiful, satin pearl shirt with a plunging neckline.

    ¡°Selena¡­¡± I ask cautiously, walking down the rest of the stairs and towards the kitchen. ¡°Where are we?¡±

    She arches an eyebrow and eyes me curiously. ¡°Las Vegas.¡±

    In the background somewhere I hear Darryl chuckle.

    ¡°And how many dresses do you own specifically for Las Vegas?¡±

    Selena flicks her long blonde curls over her shoulder¡ªand she didn¡¯t straighten her hair? What the hell? Has hell actually frozen over? I watch her, still in shock as she steps into the kitchen. On the counter there are three shot glasses already made up, filled with unknown and undoubtedly potent spirits. She grabs one and hands it to me. I look at it for a second before taking it from her.

    ¡°You need to relax. I have three weeks to wear slutty dresses.¡± She winks at me. ¡°You¡¯ll only go out twice maximum, so you can wear the nice dress tonight and the stupid plum one next time.¡±

    I feel Seth move from behind me. He leans on the counter next to me. ¡°And here I was thinking Olivia was an adult capable of making her own decisions.¡±

    Jesus Christ. I down my shot in one swallow and slap it down on the counter, gritting my teeth against the burning booze.

    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I¡¯ll wear the dress,¡± I smile at Selena. ¡°but only because I know it¡¯ll kill you seeing me in one while you¡¯re stuck in pants.¡± I poke at the empty shot glass, inching it closer to her. ¡°Your turn.¡±

    She flushes a shade of pink I¡¯ve never seen grace her cheeks before as she fills the glass. ¡°I¡¯ve had my fill for the night,¡± she informs me, sliding the glass back.

    Seth and I look at each other and he seems just as baffled as I am. Selena doesn¡¯t ¡®have her fill.¡¯ When it comes to alcohol, her stomach is a bottomless pit.

    From behind me, Jackson swoops in and wraps his full lips around the glass, tipping it down his throat. I glance at Seth again and he shrugs with a small smile on his lips.

    I have the feeling Jackson has a lot to do with Selena¡¯s behavior tonight. I¡¯m happy that he¡¯s helping her to quit smoking and drinking, but I hope he isn¡¯t putting too much pressure on her. I¡¯m her best friend and I couldn¡¯t even get her to listen to me about the risks of ingesting too much alcohol. She¡¯s always been assertive and her own person in her own right and no one has been able to tell her differently¡­until now. Don¡¯t get me wrong, I don¡¯t mind that Selena isn¡¯t drinking. I just hope it¡¯s her own decision and not Jackson¡¯s.

    Jackson slides the remaining shot glass across the counter to Seth. Without hesitation he pushes it right back. I¡¯ve never really found out why Seth chooses not to drink¡­my assumptions always begin and end with his mother, but I don¡¯t think that¡¯s the whole story. I watch the silent exchange of glances between Seth and Jackson. Jackson appears to be having the time of his life as he bites back a smile. Seth, however, tries to keep his calm fa?ade, but even I can see the warning in his eyes. Whatever is going on, it¡¯s making me uncomfortable.

    My mood suddenly dampens and going out feels like it¡¯ll be more of a chore than an adventure. I fail to see the point in going out of it¡¯s only Jackson and I drinking¡ªand Darryl too, wherever the hell he is. I can¡¯t hide my pout.

    ¡°You guys have all been to Vegas before. You¡¯ve all done it, but I haven¡¯t. I want crazy, dramatic, and exciting. I want loud music, gambling and strong alcoholic beverages with stupid sexual names¡­I want the Vegas experience.¡±

    Which is actually stupid. I hate clubbing, I¡¯ve hated it for as long as I can remember, but I¡¯m in Vegas and you don¡¯t avoid the clubs in Vegas. Am I being selfish? I can¡¯t tell.

    With an exhale, Seth reaches for the shot glass and slams it back with such ease you¡¯d think he¡¯s shooting water.

    ¡°You want the Vegas experience then I¡¯ll give it to you at your own risk,¡± he tells me, sliding his glass to the middle of the marble counter.

    Jackson claps his hands before pouring us another round of drinks and Darryl slips into the kitchen from the living room as soon as he hears the lid unscrew and joins us at the island.

    ¡°My own risk?¡± I wonder aloud.

    He nods. ¡°Yep. You want crazy, dramatic, and exciting? It¡¯s yours, but I¡¯m only giving you until I finish my next shot to back out. Once I¡¯ve downed the shot, you¡¯re on the Vegas rollercoaster, your safety bar is locked, and there is no getting off¡­¡± He smirks and caresses the hem of my dress. ¡°Unless it¡¯s by me, of course.¡±

    I feel heat flood my cheeks. Seth will say anything in front of anyone and sometimes, I admire his boldness. Other times, I want to jam my hands in his mouth to prevent him from speaking. I drop my sight to his fingers and I watch as they curl around the tiny glass. It seems almost doll-like in his large hand. I follow the cup all the way to his lips. His brown eyes lock with mine and he seems almost excited, like he¡¯s daring me to let him drink it. Seth begins to pour the liquid into his mouth before tipping the whole thing down his throat. He swallows and my pulse begins its rapid ascent, from normal to overdrive. Shit. What have I gotten myself into?

    ¡°Oh yeah!¡± Jackson cheers, pouring a shot and handing it to Selena. ¡°We are in for a treat tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Seth is here and he¡¯s bringing the action!¡±

    Seth rolls his eyes. ¡°Let¡¯s get out of here.¡±

    Jackson slides us all a shot each and we take it. Sadly, I¡¯m the only one to recoil from the taste. It¡¯s then I realize I¡¯m barely going to be able to hang with these guys¡ªeven Seth, who seems to be more acquainted with the taste of alcohol than me, which really piques my curiosity.

    ¡°Locked and loaded. Let¡¯s blow the roof off this bitch!¡± Darryl shouts, adjusting his black button up shirt. It seems Darryl has been drinking prematurely and is probably a little too over the limit to chauffer us around.

    ¡°Who¡¯s going to drive?¡±

    Selena laughs over her shoulder at me as I approach the door. ¡°We¡¯re on Las Vegas Boulevard with Luxor, Bellagio, Mirage¡ª¡±

    ¡°Okay, I get it. So what?¡±

    ¡°So, we¡¯re walking everywhere tonight. You want the Vegas experience and that means you have to drunkenly stumble everywhere you want to go or catch a cab.¡±

    I look at Seth and he shrugs at me.

    ¡°You guys walked everywhere when you did Vegas?¡±

    They all nod¡ªeven Darryl.

    ¡°And the casinos? Are they what they make them out to be on TV?¡± I ask as we reach the front door.

    ¡°They¡¯re everything you¡¯ve seen and more,¡± Darryl says, looking over his shoulder at me. ¡°The lights. The sounds. The pulsating energy¡ª¡± He smiles. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯ll love every second of it, that I guarantee.¡±

    The air is charged like an electrical storm. I can almost taste it¡ªas well as feel it. What shot is this? Eight. Maybe seven. I slam it back and squeeze my eyes shut against the licorice tasting burn at the back of my throat. There¡¯s music blasting in quick, booming beats. I¡¯m way over my limit and my brain is too fuzzy to register the music, but I can feel it vibrate the metal stool I¡¯m sitting on as it hums through my body.

 Page 29

    I don¡¯t know what casino I¡¯m at. Wherever it is, it¡¯s loud, filled with people and exotic dancers in tiny cages and glass boxes. I love the atmosphere and the way excitement and anticipation hangs heavily in the air.Advertisement

    ¡°Do you want another?¡± Seth shouts into my ear and I look at him over my shoulder.

    He¡¯s had as many shots as I have, but he seems hardly affected by the alcohol, unlike me. My eyesight sways and I see two of him before they merge back into one. If only there were two of him¡­the things I would do¡­He smiles down at me, amused, and I realize I haven¡¯t responded to his question. I open my mouth, but he cuts me off.

    ¡°Maybe not.¡± His warm hand engulfs my elbow. ¡°Come on.¡±

    I hold onto him as he pulls me over to Darryl, who sits on a purple looking couch¡ªor maybe it¡¯s pink. Hell, it could be red for all I know. My eyes aren¡¯t exactly my most reliable source right now and the dark lighting makes it that little bit harder. My head rolls and my heavy eyes threaten to close so I sit down on a small compact arm chair while Seth joins Darryl on the couch.

    Darryl slides a shot glass over to me. ¡°For you.¡±

    The thought of having another shot while the last one lingers so freshly at the back of my throat makes me nauseous, but I can¡¯t stop now. Seth sits back on the couch, his arms stretching over the back. He watches me for a few seconds before giving me a nod of the head. Maybe I don¡¯t look as drunk over here as I did at the bar. Without hesitation, I down the shot and surprisingly, it doesn¡¯t burn my throat. I return the glass to the table and let my head roll to the side to rest against the velvet fabric. I¡¯m feeling sleepy, my eyes heavy with the effects of the alcohol. Sleep would be great right now, but as far as everyone else is concerned, the Vegas experience has only just begun. We still have yard glasses to drink from, casinos to throw money at, and cabs to take to nowhere. They feel combining all of their experiences into one huge experience is necessary, but I¡¯m ready to go home¡ªnot that I¡¯ll ever admit that. I wanted this. Everyone is drinking because of me¡ªeven Seth and Selena. I have to go through with it. I¡¯m a twenty-three year old woman drinking alcohol because she feels bad that her friends are doing it, how pathetic do I sound? I guess the main thing is that I¡¯m feeling a lot better now I¡¯m very well under the influence.

    Out of nowhere Jackson and Selena stroll up to our table with more drinks¡ªall shot glasses¡ªsome with wedges of lime and a shaker of salt. Selena sits a shot down on the wooden table in front of me and the thought of drinking it makes me sick. She watches me eagerly, enjoying every second of my drunkenness. Unwilling to fail, I force myself forward and reach out for the little cup of mind-numbing, head-spinning, nausea-inducing poison. Before my finger makes it within an inch of the glass, Seth leans forward, taking the shot for himself and buying me a few more conscious seconds. I offer him a small smile and he returns it.

    ¡°Last stop on the Vegas experience, The Spearmint Rhino. We¡¯ll spend the rest of the night there and then walk back to MGM.¡±

    ¡°The Spearmint Rhino?¡± I ask, unsure if my voice is coming out in a slurry fumble or if I¡¯m imagining it.

    ¡°It¡¯s only the greatest strip club in Las Vegas¡ªquite possibly the world!¡±

    I¡¯ve never felt so out of the loop. I rake my fingers through my hair in an attempt to wake myself up. ¡°That¡¯s hardly a sexy name for a strip club¡­¡±

    ¡°No.¡± Seth cuts in, leaning back in his seat again. ¡°No strip clubs.¡±

    Selena struts toward me and slowly drops herself into my lap. I rest my head against hers and watch while Jackson folds his arms across his chest. ¡°Olivia wants the Vegas experience. What¡¯s Vegas without a trip to the Spearmint Rhino?¡±

    I swear if I hear the words ¡®Vegas experience¡¯ one more time I¡¯m going to puke.

    Seth laughs once. ¡°You¡¯re in no position to tell me what she wants, Jackson.¡±

    There¡¯s a small smile on Seth¡¯s lips, but his eyes are dead serious. Both Selena and I groan at the same time, rolling our eyes. Here we go.

    ¡°We can go,¡± I cut in, drawing everyone¡¯s shocked eyes¡ªeven Seth¡¯s. ¡°It¡¯s not worth the argument. I said I¡¯d do everything and if going to a strip club is included, then I¡¯ll do it, but I swear to God, if a stripper touches me, I¡¯m out of there.¡±

    I don¡¯t know why strip clubs and strippers freak me out. It¡¯s nothing against them or their profession¡ªI think it¡¯s quite brave to get up and dance for seedy men, although I¡¯d never do it.

    Ever. I don¡¯t like that the last stripper invaded my personal space for money. I was never asked by the stripper in Boston if it was okay for her to touch me or kiss me. She took the money and she did what she was told without approval from me. I¡¯m not a homophobe, either. I don¡¯t flinch away from lesbians in the street or treat them differently because of their preference, but if one were to kiss me, I¡¯d freak out, because that isn¡¯t my thing. I don¡¯t kiss girls to impress boys. I don¡¯t see women (no matter how hot they are) and think ¡®man, I¡¯d kiss her.¡¯ It¡¯s just not me.

    All three of them¡ªJackson, Selena and Darryl¡ªare excited about my willingness to go to the Mintyfresh Rhino (or whatever the hell he called it). Seth, however, watches me from underneath his brows, his eyes dark and questioning.

    ¡°We¡¯ll meet you outside!¡± Selena squeals and they leave¡ªthe lot of them¡ªthey leave me alone with Seth and his less than happy state.

    I don¡¯t want to be caught alone waiting for him to speak. I know he hates that, so, in one swift and surprisingly sober move, I join him on the couch.

    We watch each other for a few seconds, gauging each other¡¯s state. He moves first, leaning forward to bring his mouth toward my ear. My stare follows his full, parted lips right up to the side of my face. ¡°We don¡¯t have to go. If you want to call it quits, I¡¯ll take you home right now.¡± His voice close to my ear causes pleasant chills to rush through me.

    I shake my head. ¡°But the others¡ª¡±

    ¡°Forget them. They¡¯ll go with or without you. Tell me now if you you¡¯re up for it. If you are, I¡¯ll shut my mouth and continue to make sure you¡¯re having a good time. If you¡¯re not, we¡¯ll go home.¡±

    I ponder for a little while. He¡¯s giving me a way out of this whole scenario, but I don¡¯t know if I want to take it. ¡°But if I go home¡­I¡¯ll have to walk in these heels and my feet are killing me.¡±

    He smiles. ¡°I¡¯ll carry you.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll carry me? Do you know how far we are from¡ªwait, where are we?¡±

    Seth¡¯s features straighten and he looks around the club for a sign or something that tells us where the hell we are. I glance down at the table, there are some coasters, but they¡¯re all ripped up or so wet the writing is unreadable. I don¡¯t think he knows where we are, either.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I tell him, rising to my feet.

    I sway unsteadily for a moment and Seth reaches out, wrapping an arm around my waist. He stabilizes me by pulling me down and onto his lap, flush against his chest. Even in the club I can smell his cologne¡ªit¡¯s fucking sexy¡ªwhatever the hell it is. I¡¯ve never smelled it before now and it¡¯s intoxicating. It envelops me and I think it makes the hairs on my body stand on their ends. Then again, it could be the alcohol or the air-conditioning blowing straight down the back of my neck. Being the romantic I am, I¡¯m going to narrow it down to his smell.

    ¡°New cologne?¡± I wonder aloud.

    He nods and an excited smile pulls at his lips. ¡°I bought it yesterday. Do you like it?¡±

    ¡°Sur¡ªit¡¯s nic¡ªyeah,¡± I stutter my answer. I exhale and nod my head instead¡­how charismatic of me. Seth¡¯s eyes flare at my response and I make a mental note to fill the bath with his perfume when we get back and drown in it.

    I clear my throat. ¡°To the Pepper Albino?¡±

    Seth laughs loudly, dropping his head to my shoulder and my body shakes as he laughs into me. Did I say something funny? ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°The Pepper Albino?¡± He chuckles, pulling back from me.

    In the dim light, I see the glimmer of happiness in his eyes and I want to know what made him so happy so I can do it again. And again. And again and¡ªwell, you get the picture.

    ¡°What the fuck, O? Where¡¯d you pull that name from?¡±

    ¡°What?¡± I shrug. ¡°That¡¯s what he said.¡±

    ¡°The Spearmint Rhino, is what he said.¡±

    I stare at him for a little while. The Spearmint Rhino? Is that right? It doesn¡¯t sound right. ¡°Oh,¡± is all I manage to say. Now I feel like an idiot.

    My chest hiccups as I randomly spit out a laugh and I quickly slap my hand up to cover my mouth.

    ¡°I will forever call that place The Pepper Albino.¡±

    I swat at him, but he pulls back and manages to avoid it. He grabs my hands, pulling me back into him. ¡°and I think I¡¯ll keep you drunk,¡± he says, kissing my nose.

    ¡°Why¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°Because you¡¯re funny and you don¡¯t think.¡±

    I arch my eyebrow at him. ¡°Wow. Only you can tell someone they¡¯re dumb and make it sound like a compliment.¡±

    He rolls his brown eyes at me. ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant. When you¡¯re drunk, there are no cog wheels in your eyes as you try to decipher your next move. You do and say things right from the top of your head and I love that. You should do it more often.¡±

    I smile. ¡°See, that¡¯s not going to work. We can¡¯t have two people in this relationship throwing caution to the wind. Someone has to be the responsible one.¡±

    He bites his bottom lip and then rakes his teeth over it. ¡°That¡¯s true, but for tonight, let¡¯s both be reckless and stupid.¡±

    ¡°Reckless and stupid? I like it. Should we add ¡®crazy¡¯ and ¡®exciting¡¯ to the list while we¡¯re at it?¡± I suggest, inching my face closer to his and setting my body alight with arousal.

    He nods. ¡°And dramatic and passionate.¡±

    ¡°Easy, now. Don¡¯t make promises you can¡¯t keep¡­¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ve never broken a promise in my life and I¡¯m not going start tonight.¡±

    He grabs the shots and hands one to me before he tips his down his throat. Following his lead, I slam mine back and grit my teeth against the taste as I throw my glass onto the couch. Seth grabs me by the face and crushes his mouth to mine. Tequila floods my taste buds and I gasp into his mouth as his tongue forces more of the flavor into my mouth. He produces a lime from nowhere and my heavy stare drops to his mouth as his wet tongue slips out from between his lips. He licks the lime slowly and brings it to my mouth. I watch him, dazed, as he rubs it along my bottom lip. I part my lips and suck it into my mouth, now he¡¯s the one watching me with a heavy, lust-filled stare. I bite down and sour juice floods my mouth, mixing with my saliva.

    I keep watching him as he grabs the salt shaker and opens the lid, dipping his lime moistened finger in. He draws his finger to my mouth, while retrieving the lime with his other hand. He rubs the very tip of his salty finger along my bottom lip and I take his whole finger in my mouth, sucking the salt off. I make sure I swirl my tongue to get every grain. It¡¯s not a coincidence that he¡¯s wants me to suck the salt from his finger. I know he¡¯s fishing to see if I know what I¡¯m doing when it comes to ¡®other¡¯ sexual acts. I haven¡¯t taken Seth in my mouth yet, and I know he¡¯s curious to experience it with me. He probably thinks I¡¯m avoiding it because I haven¡¯t done it before. I¡¯ve done it before and I¡¯d say I¡¯m pretty good at it. Every time I¡¯ve done it, I¡¯ve received the appropriate response, but I haven¡¯t done it with Seth because, well, compared to Blade, his penis is a lot bigger. Like, a lot bigger. I¡¯m nervous¡ªor at least I was until I downed a copious amount of shots and he put his finger in my mouth with that sexy look in his eyes. Under the influence, I¡¯m not nervous. I can do it tonight¡ªI will do it tonight.

    Selena¡¯s hand convulses around mine, she can barely contain her excitement as we enter the Spearmint Rhino. She loves clubs, but she loves strip clubs even more. According to her, men leave you alone in strip clubs and focus more on the already provided bare breasts instead of trying to free yours from your dress.

    Inside, the club is decorated with lots of blacks and golds¡ªeverything seeming to follow that strict color code. Unlike the Polaris in Boston, the Spearmint Rhino strangely offers a homier vibe¡ªwhich is probably the weirdest thing I¡¯ve ever thought in my life. In this club, I don¡¯t feel dirty. The red-haired girl doing her thing on the narrow stage isn¡¯t fully naked and that makes me feel better¡­even if I can still see her hard, fake breasts and dark erect nipples.

    I feel Seth plant his hand low on my back. ¡°One word and we¡¯ll go, okay?¡± he tells me, his breath caressing my earlobe. I nod my head. One word and I can go home, that¡¯s all it takes. Relaxing, I inhale deeply, drawing in the scent of whiskey and Coke.

    We follow Jackson over to a little group of black chairs in the far corner of the room.

    ¡°Here we are, nice and secluded for Olivia¡¯s bashful eyes, but not too far away for the rest of us to enjoy the show.¡±

    I smile, knowing very well that Jackson is taking a shot at me and my timidness about being at a strip club. I don¡¯t care, I¡¯m just glad he was thoughtful enough to not get us seats right underneath the stage. Without sitting down, Darryl leaves and brings us back a round of drinks. I¡¯m already having a hard time keeping my eyes open and preventing sharp lines from blurring into one another. And I¡¯m trying hard to ignore the pressure I feel at the front of my forehead, behind my brow. I bring the wine glass that he sits in front of me to my nose¡ªit¡¯s red wine of some kind. I sip at it and it goes down smoothly, not burning like the shots I¡¯ve been taking all night, and the feeling of having something so fruity and smooth slip down my throat is refreshing. After the drinks are received, we talk about the upcoming fight. Seth doesn¡¯t seem so keen to add to the conversation and I know it¡¯s because he¡¯s nervous. I don¡¯t know what it is with him but he¡¯s usually so confident that it borderlines self-obsessed, but when it comes to fighting he can be so reserved¡ªlike he thinks he¡¯s not good enough. I push myself off my chair and straight onto his lap. He hands me his drink and his lips curve into a delightful smile as he wraps his arms around me. ¡°What do you know, a beautiful girl is sitting on my lap and I didn¡¯t even have to pay for it.¡±

 Page 30

    I chuckle. ¡°Aren¡¯t you lucky?¡±Advertisement

    ¡°Extremely lucky.¡± His fingers dance around my thigh, toying with the edge of my dress.

    I lean in to kiss him, but a guy in a very nice suit with three girls on his arm strolls past us in a haze of giggles and whispers, distracting me.

    ¡°That looks familiar.¡± Jackson snickers, drawing my attention and the glass to his lips.

    Underneath me, I feel Seth¡¯s body tighten and I look down at him. He takes his drink from my hands and takes an uncomfortable sip, his eyes never leaving Jackson.

    ¡°Familiar?¡± Selena asks, curiously. ¡°You¡¯ve had three women? At once?¡±

    ¡°Not me, I don¡¯t have enough stamina to entertain three women.¡± His eyes flick to Seth and then his smug smile fades as realization sets in.

    Does he mean Seth? Seth has had three women at once? I glance down at Seth again, whose eyes are no longer on Jackson, but on me. He¡¯s tense, like he¡¯s expecting me to freak out. Faintly, in the background mixed with sensual music and lively chatter, I hear Selena start a new conversation in an attempt to forget the last one. Wait¡­why is Seth so worried? When did he do three women? The last time he was in Vegas? When he was fighting Don?

    ¡°Three?¡± I spit out, feeling my own eyes widening. I glance back at the rest of the group. They¡¯re engaged in a new conversation, ignoring Seth and I. A few seconds pass and the three of them rise from their seats and stroll toward the bar.

    Seth cringes, shaking his head. ¡°That wasn¡¯t nice¡­he shouldn¡¯t have said anyth¨D¡±

    ¡°When? The last time you were in Vegas?¡±

    He frowns, seeming almost agitated. ¡°No, I was with you the last time I was in Vegas. I did it when I was here on my twenty-first birthday.¡±

    Seth¡¯s voice lowers a few decibels and I let out a breath I didn¡¯t know I was holding. I don¡¯t know why I was expecting him to tell me he did it when we were together¡­I¡¯m used to it, I guess. How pathetic does that sound?

    Is he ashamed? No, he can¡¯t be. Seth Marc ashamed of something he¡¯s done? Now I¡¯ve seen everything.

    ¡°Do you remember them?¡± I ask, never dropping eye contact.

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Do you remember me?¡±

    Trick question. I know he does, but I want to hear him say it. I want him to tell me how beautiful I am compared to them. I want him to tell me that I¡¯m the only one he ever wants to be with. Every girl wants that when they ask these kinds of questions. We fish for compliments and reassurance. No girl will ever admit it, but it¡¯s true. We always want to be told how much better we are than the last girl. Always. Even when we¡¯re compared to our best friends, we want to be put on top. Girls, we can be such vain creatures.

    Seth¡¯s face doesn¡¯t falter at my question, his intense eyes still penetrating me with the same dark gleam. ¡°Every rise and depression, every scar¡ªevery fucking freckle.¡±

    ¡°Then¡­¡± I say, slowly, ¡°we have no problem.¡±

    He watches me closely, trying to decipher if I¡¯m playing with him or not. Who am I to hold what he did before he met me against him? I know I¡¯m guilty of it¡ªespecially after my little outburst in California, but since then I¡¯ve realized when you meet someone new, it¡¯s all about starting fresh. You can¡¯t take someone¡¯s past and throw it in their face. It¡¯s called the past for a reason.

    ¡°When I drink I get a little out of control. I get mad and horny and I can¡¯t stop¡­¡± He confesses with a small cringe on his face.

    Here I am thinking he¡¯s traumatized by his mother enough not to drink, but it¡¯s because he¡¯s an aggressive-horny drunk and he doesn¡¯t like it. How unexpected¡­

    ¡°And you did all three of them?¡±

    He nods. ¡°All three.¡±

    I feel my pussy pulsate at the thought. Sure, I¡¯m jealous, and yes, there¡¯s a swirling mass of nauseating butterflies in my stomach at the thought of him touching them like he touches me, but underneath all of that, there¡¯s desire¡­desire to see this other side of him¡ªto experience this other side of him. I bring the drink closer to him, holding it up to his mouth.

    ¡°You still want me to drink?¡± Seth asks, curiously. ¡°Anymore and I think I¡¯m going to be way over my safety limit.¡±

    I pull the glass back a little. ¡°Only if you promise to take all of your anger and passion out on me and not three strange women.¡±

    His eyebrows arch in disbelief before pulling into a determined frown. He snatches the drink from my hand and slams it back in a few quick seconds. He leans over me, his body almost crushing me as he sets his glass down on the table. When he pulls back, I fling my arms around his neck and force my lips against his. I¡¯m not usually one for public displays of affection, but there are enough bare tits in this room to take the attention off a couple making out in the back corner of the room.

    Seth pulls away as the speakers announce a new dancer and his eyes flick to the stage. After a few seconds, I feel his entire body go rigid and I drag my gaze from his lips to his eyes. The colorful spark of lust, gone; replaced with dark anger. In one rapid movement, he shifts out from underneath me, swiftly laying me flat on my back on the couch. What the hell?

    In the distance, I hear the sound of a metal stool colliding with the side of the bar and it forces me out of my confused stupor as Darryl runs right by my couch and after Seth¡ªJackson in tow.

    I push myself up onto my elbows before sitting up and swinging my legs off the edge of the couch. I watch Seth stalk his way past chairs, infatuated business men, and rowdy bachelors to get to the stage. The lone girl on stage¡ªthe one he appears to be going for¡ªis oblivious to his approach and Jackson and Darryl are unable to reach him before he jumps onto the stage in a single bound.

    ¡°What the hell is going on?¡± Selena demands as she drops into the seat next to me.

    We both watch Seth grab the girl on stage. She looks genuinely terrified to see him and desperately tries to cover her breasts and tiny light blue G-string.

    ¡°What the fuck, O?¡± Selena breathes, grabbing my wrist.

    I don¡¯t speak as I watch Seth and the girl silently yell at each other. By the time Jackson and Darryl make it to the stage, the bouncers are already there, trying to contain Seth, but he¡¯s too powerful for them. When he shrugs them off, they stumble back several feet before they find their footing again. The girl tries to run back through the doors she came from, but he grabs her wrist, forcing her to stay with him. Her long black hair whips around and her face is flushed with both embarrassment and anger. I can¡¯t see all of the fine details from here, but I hate that she¡¯s so pretty.

    ¡°Who is that? Do you know who that is?¡±

    Again I ignore Selena, heartbrokenly immersed in the scene before me. Surely I¡¯m imagining this. Whoever this girl is, Seth doesn¡¯t like her stripping in front of all these people, and the way he handles her with such aggression and possession sends my stomach in knots. From the dark corners of the club, six security guards march onto the stage and restrain Seth. They pull back on their heel, dragging a pissed off Seth from the stage as the girl disappears behind the staff doors. I leap off the couch and make it to the doors as Seth is forced from the club.

    Outside, Darryl has Seth against the wall, trying to calm him, and Jackson is by the road, hailing a cab. Everything is happening so fast and my dizzy brain can¡¯t take it all in. My head spins as a result of all of the alcohol and the scene that just played out before me. It can¡¯t be what I think it is¡­We haven¡¯t been in Vegas long enough for him to find someone else¡­right?

    A cab pulls up almost immediately and it¡¯s white¡ªcompletely different to the yellow ones we have in Portland¡ªnot that that¡¯s an important piece of information right now. Seth pushes past Darryl and I watch as he storms toward the cab. He pulls open the door and turns to me. ¡°Get in.¡±

    I step forward and then pause. ¡°Seth¡ª¡±

    ¡°Jesus-fucking-Christ,¡± he snaps. ¡°I said get in!¡±

    I glance over my shoulder at Selena and she folds her arms tightly over her chest.

    ¡°Olivia, you don¡¯t have to go with him,¡± she tells me, spitting the word ¡®him¡¯ like it fills her mouth with a bad taste.

    ¡°Stay out of it, Selena,¡± Jackson demands and Selena opens her mouth, about to protest.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I tell her, proud of how steady my voice comes out. ¡°I¡¯ll call you later.¡±

    I look back at Seth and receive no hint of warmth or sympathy for what I just witnessed¡ªwhatever the hell that was. Trusting Seth, I approach him, hoping he¡¯ll give me some kind of sane explanation inside the cab. I hunch and climb into the taxi and he follows me, slamming the door behind him. After he grumbles out the hotel to the taxi driver, he doesn¡¯t move or even try to explain what just happened and I don¡¯t know if I should be the one who starts the conversation.

    The Persian taxi driver smiles at me through the rear-view mirror and I decide dragging him into this isn¡¯t a good idea. I can hear Seth¡¯s loud, fast breathing, but I don¡¯t do anything to comfort him. I sit with my straight posture and watch the lights whip past. I keep my hands in my lap, entwined in each other to fight the urge to touch him.

    Seth winds down the window, letting in more fresh air and I can hear his fingers playing in an uneven beat against his denim jeans as he becomes more and more anxious.

    I flinch when he finally speaks. ¡°I know how fucked up that probably looked to you, but I¡¯ll explain it all¡­once I come to terms with it myself.¡±

    I nod without looking at him. I hope he explains it to me soon because I fear I¡¯m about to burst into tears at any second. As the bright lights of the Las Vegas Boulevard begin to whip past, I bite my lower lip and ask myself the same question Selena was asking me earlier. Who the fuck was that and what the fuck just happened?

    I lean against the wall at the base of the stairs to our bedroom, my body tight and on high alert as Seth loses the plot. He grabs a small orb candle holder and tosses it hard against the wall. The pretty red and silver glass shatters into tiny pieces on the ground and I avert my gaze as he snatches up a bar stool and puts it through the beautiful glass coffee table. Fear catapults through my body and grips my stomach as I flinch away from the loudness. Note to self: If we ever live together, avoid purchasing anything ceramic, glass or anything else he can destroy. Sadly, I¡¯m having a serious case of d¨¦j¨¤ vu from Boston. Only now it¡¯s over some random girl in a strip club instead of Don.

    He snaps around on his heel, his dark eyes zeroing in on me. ¡°Go to bed,¡± he growls and I almost flinch. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to see me like this.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I reply, pressing myself harder against the wall for support and to prevent myself from cowering away from his dark, aggressive stare. ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere.¡±

    I want to hate him right now. I want to slap him and call him names and leave¡­but he told me he loved me. He has told me over and over that he¡¯d never hurt me like that and although tonight leaves me feeling highly betrayed, I know there¡¯s more to it. Miscommunication is a killer and I won¡¯t let this relationship fall victim to it.

    His chest rises and falls in quick pants and his lips are parted as his breath is quickly expelled from his lungs before he draws it back in again. ¡°You¡¯re just going to watch me flip out and give yourself another reason to love me less?¡±

    I feel my features pinch together. ¡°Love you less? How can I love you less?¡± I step forward. ¡°It doesn¡¯t work that way. I love you to my fullest capabilities or I don¡¯t love you at all. There is no in between.¡±

    ¡°And do you love me now?¡±

    I purse my lips. Yes. Yes, I love him now. Yes, I love him after the scene I witnessed at the strip club, but he¡¯s in no position to ask me questions¡ªnot while I¡¯ve yet to receive an explanation from him.

    ¡°When you¡¯re ready to give me an explanation, I¡¯ll be ready to give you the answer.¡±

    I know I should be fuming. I know I should be the one throwing things and demanding answers, but sometimes a girl just needs to take a step back and be told what to do. A girl should have strong moments, where she¡¯s fierce and in control and sometimes, a girl should have weak moments, where she¡¯s vulnerable and wants to cry just to be told everything is going to be okay. This is a weak moment for me. Maybe I don¡¯t want an explanation¡­maybe I¡¯m scared of what he¡¯s going to say. As quickly as he builds me up with his sweet lips, I know he can send me crashing at any second.

    He doesn¡¯t like my response. I can see panic settle in his eyes and as I¡¯m about to crack¡ªto tell him how much I love him¡ªhe storms from the room, slamming the door with a loud hit behind him. I sag against the wall and close my eyes. How the hell am I going to deal with this? I don¡¯t even want to deal with this right now. I¡¯m drunk¡ªa weird on and off sober kind of drunk¡ªbut still, my brain is fuzzy. All I want is sleep and some cold fresh water¡­but first, I have to find my angry fighter.

    I don¡¯t know how long I walk around the hotel before I locate Seth in the gym. I¡¯m so stupid. The gym should¡¯ve been the first place I checked. I hear Seth¡¯s fists before I see him. My heart beats harder every time his fists slam into the bag, pumping hot, nervous blood through my veins in record time.

    I stroll past a long line of treadmills and over to the bags in the far corner by the weights station. Sure enough, there he is. He has his naked back to me and he doesn¡¯t hear my approach, which is fine by me. I slip onto a nearby bench and watch his shapely back as the muscles tighten and flex while he works his knuckles into the bag. I see his body ripple every time he makes contact and the sound of him expelling air soothes me. He relaxes with every hit, his body becoming increasingly tired. Every now and then, he¡¯ll realize he¡¯s slowing down and then he¡¯ll pick up again, sometimes increasing his power and speed.

 Page 31

    After one whole hour of watching him, I lie down on the bench. My spine aches from hunching and my eyes grow heavier with every passing second. My eyes teeter between alert and sleepy, occasionally falling over the edge and allowing me to take a micro-nap. I wake myself up because I don¡¯t want to fall asleep. I don¡¯t want to deal with this tomorrow. I want it to be over now. I¡¯ll sit up, so I don¡¯t fall asleep. My toes twitch at the thought, but my body refuses to comply. I give myself a few minutes to gather energy, but after the sixth attempt of fighting sleep, I succumb to it, leaving this situation to linger until tomorrow.Advertisement

    Chapter Seventeen

    Seth

    My knuckles throb and the skin threatens to split as I thrust my bare hand into the bag one last time. How could I have been so fucking stupid? I¡¯m supposed to protect her¡ªto look after her¡ªand yet I¡¯ve ignored her calls for the last ten months and neglected to respond to any of her voicemails. Sweat coats my body and I bend down to retrieve my shirt from the floor. I run it over my face and the back of my neck. Where the fuck is Kye? And why is he letting my little sister grind naked on poles? The image of her naked body bombards my mind and I recoil from it. How could I have let this happen? My baby sister¡­dancing naked for money. I grit my teeth and draw myself to full height. She¡¯s not stepping another goddamn toe in a strip club, not if I have anything to do with it.

    I turn around, ready to make my way back to the room, but I¡¯m stopped dead in my tracks by a passed out Olivia. The sight of her tired body almost brings me to my knees. She followed me down here? How long has she been lying on that hard bench?

    I remember smashing all of the breakable things upstairs and I remember her leaning against the wall. She¡¯d never admit it, but I could see the absolute fear in her eyes, like she was scared I was going to turn on her like a wild dog. Sometimes I overreact and smash things¡­and the thought of her seeing me so mad kills me. I don¡¯t want her to fear me, or to fear pissing me off. She should feel safe, always, and I¡¯d never hurt her physically. She¡¯s so small compared to me¡­it¡¯s funny how someone so small can completely incapacitate me.

    I approach Olivia¡¯s sleeping form and the urge to wake her up and tell her how sorry I am eats at me. I wanted to clear this up before she fell asleep. All I needed was a little more time. When I get like this¡­all anxious and crazy, I can¡¯t talk. The mere thought of trying to explain or even listen to people try and explain things to me while I¡¯m so wound up is infuriating. I need to be left with my thoughts and space to work through it alone. If I don¡¯t, I end up saying and doing stupid shit I¡¯ll regret when I¡¯m calm. Seeing her all exhausted and alone makes me anxious and I contemplate waking her just so she can look at me with her green eyes¡ªthen I know the pressure in my chest will dissipate.

    In the morning, I¡¯ll tell her everything. As much as it kills me to even think about, I¡¯ll tell Olivia that my sister is apparently a stripper at The Spearmint Rhino. She¡¯ll understand.

    I throw my t-shirt over my shoulder and bend down, scooping Olivia up into my arms. She barely bats an eyelid. There¡¯s no way she¡¯s waking up, she drank way too hard tonight¡ªand how¡¯s Jackson¡¯s fucking form? He has never, ever, let anything slip about me before¡ªever. He¡¯s used to people pressuring him for info on my personal life and he has never slipped up, not once, but the one time I needed him to keep his mouth shut, he speaks. What if he ruined everything for me and O? Olivia isn¡¯t your usual girl. She¡¯s confusing. She¡¯s one big bag of emotions and tricks. Anything you say or do can provoke a different reaction every time. This time, she was cool with it¡ªwhich was one hundred percent unexpected considering her reaction to the girl at the restaurant. If she decided to flip and leave, I don¡¯t know what I would¡¯ve done. But she shrugged it off like it was no big deal and I don¡¯t know whether I should feel bad or relieved. I know Selena sees Olivia as weak because she bends to my every command, but that¡¯s not weakness. Olivia is anything but weak. Sure, she stayed with her douche ex for a ridiculous amount of time after he cheated on her repeatedly, but that isn¡¯t weakness, either. That is fucking strength. I couldn¡¯t handle constantly looking at the face of someone who betrayed me. It¡¯s not her fault. Olivia is a romantic. She sees love in everyone and ignites it in those who care to know her. She believes people can change even if they prove to her a million times that they won¡¯t. I think that¡¯s why she can be so flighty at times. She doesn¡¯t know what to be mad at and what to let go. Blade has done a very good job at training her to deflect her emotions onto random things. Things that should upset her don¡¯t and things that don¡¯t really matter, she freaks out over. It¡¯s like her emotions go into hyper drive and she doesn¡¯t know how to express them. She so desperately tries to give everyone everything they need that she doesn¡¯t realize when people are helping her and when people are attacking her.

    I sigh and dip my lips toward Olivia¡¯s damp head and I kiss it. Hopefully, I¡¯ll always be around to help. So much for a perfect time in Vegas to erase all of her doubts of marrying me. It¡¯s barely day one and I¡¯ve already made a huge mess of it. I pull her tighter into my chest and glance down at her face. I don¡¯t want morning to come because I¡¯m afraid to look her in the face when she wakes up. What if I¡¯ve left it too long and the damage is already done?

    My arms ache by the time I get Olivia back to the bedroom. The blue glowing numbers on the bedside table signifies it¡¯s two a.m. but I can¡¯t sleep. I can¡¯t sleep knowing my little sister is still out and about in this fucked up city. I don¡¯t know where Kye is, but when I see him, he¡¯s a fucking dead man.

    I lie her down on the right side of the bed. Normally, that¡¯s my side of the bed, but since I¡¯ve started sleeping with Olivia, I¡¯ve opted for the left because she also likes the right side. I pull a light sheet over her and she shifts onto her side. If I ignore the slight furrow between her brows, she looks peaceful.

    I turn from the bed and leave the room. I drop my t-shirt on the stairs and sit down with a loud exhale. I know I should be trying to get some sleep now, considering I have a formal dinner tonight (technically) but I can¡¯t sleep, not after tonight, and definitely not after seeing my sister naked, dancing on a pole. I have to go back and get her. No sister of mine will dance for money¡ªand what pisses me off the most is that it¡¯s all my fault. I ignored her calls and I refused to get back to her because I¡¯m too damn stubborn for my own good. I¡¯ve been so caught up in how my life was going that I didn¡¯t care to know how Maddi¡¯s was panning out.

    I reach for my shirt and pull it over my head. It¡¯s a little wrinkled and damp, but it¡¯s going to have to do. I use the rail to pull myself to my feet and I stomp down the rest of the stairs. When I get to the door, I pull it open and instantly my stomach sinks into itself in both anger and relief. She¡¯s clothed, at least, in a loose t-shirt and a pair of tight, black skinny jeans. My eyes zero in on a small trail of inked lady birds that appear to be strolling along her collar bone.

    ¡°Don¡¯t look at them like that,¡± Maddi scoffs, pushing past me and into the room. ¡°They¡¯re cute.¡±

    I fight the urge to mock her as I shut the door and turn around, leaning my back against it. I watch her as she stuffs her hands into the back pocket of her jeans and strolls around the main room, assessing all of the damage with an amused smirk on her lips.

    ¡°Still smashing things when you¡¯re upset, I see.¡±

    ¡°Skip the bullshit, Maddi,¡± I snap. ¡°What the fuck?¡±

    She tucks one side of her long black hair behind her ear, all while her brown eyes glare at me. ¡°Now you want to talk? Do I have to show up unannounced just so you¡¯ll talk to me?¡±

    I shake my head.

    ¡°Ten months. For ten months I¡¯ve been calling you for help, but you ignored me.¡±

    I push off of the door. ¡°I¡¯ve been busy¡ªlook where you¡¯re standing. It took me a lot of time, money, and effort to get here.¡±

    Maddi flinches, her eyes narrow into accusing slits. ¡°I couldn¡¯t give two shits if I¡¯m standing in the Queen¡¯s palace right now. The material items you have mean nothing to me.¡± She strolls toward the kitchen. ¡°You couldn¡¯t even spare one second for your sister? Family¡­have you ever heard of the fucking word?¡±

    She leans against the white, square kitchen island and plucks a grape off its bunch before popping it into her mouth.

    ¡°I know that word better than you. You left me to deal with Mom when you knew she and I have a difficult relationship.¡±

    Maddi smiles. She fucking smiles at me.

    ¡°And how¡¯s that going for you?¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s that going? She¡¯s in a rehab facility in California. That¡¯s how it¡¯s going.¡±

    Her posture stiffens. ¡°And you didn¡¯t think to call and tell me that?¡±

    ¡°You wanted nothing to do with her after she hit you. Why would I call you? So you can tell me you don¡¯t care?¡±

    ¡°Of course I fucking care! She¡¯s still my mother.¡±

    I shrug my shoulders and she rolls her eyes at my attitude. Why does she always make me feel like a child? God knows we argue like children. Anyway, going over this is pointless¡ªit won¡¯t change anything. It won¡¯t get Mom out of rehab or magically fix Maddi¡¯s stripping problem.

    ¡°Where the hell is Kye?¡± I ask her. ¡°I want to see him.¡±

    And just like that, I see the color drain from her face. Even her bright red lipstick lessens in its hue.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know where he is.¡±

    She¡¯s lying. I can tell by the way she averts her gaze and her eyelids flutter.

    ¡°Don¡¯t play with me, Maddison. I¡¯ll go out and search every shitty bar in this city until I find him.¡±

    She doesn¡¯t move and I let a few seconds pass. When I know she isn¡¯t going to tell me, I move for the door. I¡¯m not fucking around. When I say I¡¯m going to do something, I do it. Period. As my fingers curl around the cool metal of the door handle, she breaks.

    ¡°Stop!¡±

    Slowly¡ªalmost triumphantly¡ªI turn around. She starts to pick nervously at her red nail polish. ¡°Kye doesn¡¯t know that I strip for cash.¡±

    ¡°What?¡± My voice comes out in a loud boom, making Maddi jump and undoubtedly waking Olivia. ¡°He doesn¡¯t know? Who takes you to and from work? Who protects you?¡±

    ¡°I do it all myself, I¡¯m not a child anymore. I¡¯m twenty-one.¡±

    Hearing her say it the way she does sounds anything but grown up. I don¡¯t see her as twenty-one. I see her as the little girl I grew up with. In my mind, she doesn¡¯t drink or have sex¡ªor get tattoos. She¡¯s supposed to be the good child¡­

    Holy.

    Fucking.

    Shit.

    Have I become the good child?

    ¡°Why?¡± I breathe, running my hands over my face. ¡°Out of everything you could do, why stripping?¡±

    She shrugs. ¡°It¡¯s expensive in Vegas. The touristy prices are ridiculous and well, I¡¯ve got the body for it.¡±

    I scowl at her.

    ¡°It¡¯s only temporary,¡± she adds. ¡°until Kye and his band gets picked up.¡±

    ¡°Yeah¡­there¡¯s no way I¡¯m relying on that talentless asshole to help you out of this situation.¡± I spin on the heel of my foot and march up the stairs, ignoring my sister calling after me. I can fix this¡­all I have to do is find my goddamn checkbook.

    I dig around in my suitcase, locating it underneath a few pairs of socks. When I turn around, my gaze skims over the bed and I see Olivia¡¯s tired face blinking at me. I can¡¯t help but smile. I like seeing her dazed, it¡¯s cute. She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off.

    ¡°If you give me ten minutes, I¡¯ll be right back with the answer to any question you want to ask me.¡±

    I tear from the room before she responds. I want to come through on my promise of ten minutes. Olivia has waited enough on my account tonight and she still has no idea who Maddi is to me. The last she saw, I was on the stage at the Spearmint Rhino trying to pull a girl off of it and then I refused to talk to her¡­man, am I shaping up to be dickbag of the year or what?

    Downstairs, Maddi is still pigging out on grapes and I ignore the way she peels them from their skin. Old habits never die. I detach the pen from my checkbook and lay the book flat against the table top. I¡¯ll give her thirty thousand dollars. That should keep her out of the clubs for a few weeks and when she runs out, I¡¯ll give her more and more and more until she realizes Kye and his lame dream isn¡¯t going anywhere and drops his loser ass.

    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Maddi asks me curiously as I sign away tens of thousands of dollars.

    ¡°What does it look like? I¡¯m giving you money.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not why I came here.¡±

    I ignore the offended tone in her voice. ¡°Maybe not, but since you did, you¡¯re not leaving here until you take the money and promise me you¡¯ll stop stripping.¡±

    ¡°And if I don¡¯t take your money?¡±

    Maddi. I shake my head, she¡¯s always misunderstanding my demands for questions¡ªlike Olivia.

    ¡°Take the money, stop stripping, and I won¡¯t tell Kye about your temporary lapse in judgment.¡±

    I rip the paper from the book and fold it once, then twice, before I extend it to her. She doesn¡¯t take it from my hand, only glances at it.

    ¡°Are you seriously blackmailing me into taking your money?¡±

    ¡°If you take it, I won¡¯t have to.¡±

 Page 32

    Her brown eyes stay locked on mine for a few long seconds before she expels an exhale and takes the money from me. As soon as the money leaves my fingertips, weight is lifted from my shoulders.Advertisement

    ¡°I knew you¡¯d come through for me¡­eventually. You always do.¡±

    I nod. ¡°No more silence between us. I want you to know that you can contact me whenever you want and not get pushed to the side.¡±

    I feel her head nod against me as she pats my back. I notice her brown eyes are swimming with tears when she pulls back and she stubbornly wipes them away. It¡¯s nice. I like helping my little sister¡ªwhen I¡¯m not being a total dick and ignoring her, that is.

    ¡°You wanna go get something to eat? There¡¯s a good pizza place a few corners away from here.¡±

    I rake my fingers through my hair and glance at the clock. Three minutes is all I have until I return to Olivia and I need to explain everything to her. I don¡¯t want her waiting a second longer than she has to.

    ¡°I have to get back upstairs¡­¡±

    Maddi¡¯s pretty face contorts into a cringe, like I¡¯ve given her too much information. ¡°Sorry, I should¡¯ve known you¡¯d have company.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that kind of company.¡±

    She smirks, pulling a final grape from the bunch and peeling it between her long nails. ¡°It¡¯s always that kind of company when it comes to you.¡±

    ¡°Not this time,¡± I reply and I even smile a little. ¡°She¡¯s different.¡±

    She cocks her head to the side, like an adorable puppy. ¡°Is my big bro finally settling down? I want to meet her!¡± She drops the remnants of her grape, bounces past me and toward the stairs, but I snag her tiny arm and pull her back before she makes any real progress. Olivia is unaware of Maddi. She knows her as the stripper I flipped out over and having that same girl sprinting up the stairs to say ¡®hi¡¯ isn¡¯t going to help anyone.

    ¡°You can meet her when I¡¯m not in the doghouse for trying to pull a stripper off a stage.¡±

    Maddi frowns. ¡°She doesn¡¯t know I¡¯m your sister?¡±

    ¡°Not yet, but I¡¯m going to tell her in¡ª¡± I glance at the clock. ¡°Forty seconds.¡±

    She flashes her palms at me, stepping backwards. ¡°Then don¡¯t let me hold you back.¡± Her lips curl into an adoring smile. ¡°I¡¯m glad you ran into me tonight. It¡¯s nice to clear the air.¡±

    I smile at her and she steps past me.

    ¡°Where are you going?¡± I ask. ¡°It¡¯s late, crash on the couch for the night.¡±

    She shakes her head, not slowing her pace to the door.

    ¡°Can¡¯t,¡± Maddi calls over her shoulder as she opens the door. ¡°I have to meet Kye at three a.m. Love you, bro.¡±

    She steps out and closes it behind her, leaving me with seven seconds to spare. Without a second thought, I rip my shirt over my head and bolt for the stairs. I clear them one, two¡ªno¡ªthree steps at a time and slam to a halt before I reach the door. I take a second for myself, swallowing hard and dropping my shirt to the floor. In my back pocket, I feel my phone vibrate. It¡¯s been vibrating all night. Darryl knows better than to show up here tonight. He knows Olivia is the only person I want to be around right now and when I sleep, my phone going unanswered, he¡¯ll know that I¡¯m okay because I¡¯m with her.

    The door creaks a little as I open it and slip through, locking us in a pitch black room.

    ¡°O?¡± I whisper, almost tripping over a bunch of random clothes as I make my way over to the bed. ¡°You awake?¡±

    ¡°I¡­I think so.¡± She yawns and I hear the bed sheets ruffle before a choked yelp and finally a relieved exhale. ¡°Shit.¡± She breathes. ¡°I almost fell off the bed.¡±

    I chuckle under my breath. ¡°Hold on, I¡¯m coming.¡±

    I lean forward, my arms extended, searching for the gigantic bed. My fingertips brush against the mattress and I push forward until the palms of my hands are planted firmly. I straighten my posture and fidget with my buttons, unable to get my jeans off quick enough. When they pool at my feet, I kick them¡ªsomewhere¡ªand slide onto the bed. On my side, the fabric remains cool and untouched, but when I slip under the blankets and shuffle toward Olivia, it¡¯s warm and inviting. I reach out and touch the bare skin of her stomach. She¡¯s taken her dress off and the thought of her lying next to me in her underwear has me hard and ready. My blood pools in the only place it knows how when she¡¯s around and the pressure hurts. I pull her against me, hooking a leg over the blanket and hiding my hard cock from her. She squirms forward, pushing her head right into the gap between my neck and shoulder, oblivious to how hard I¡¯m trying to keep a rather eager part of my anatomy away from her.

    ¡°You said you were going to tell me everything.¡±

    I nod, kissing her ear. ¡°I did.¡±

    ¡°Then please start¡­you¡¯re the only one who can take away the sick feeling in my stomach¡­or make it worse.¡±

    My poor girl. She¡¯s been so worried this whole time. I need to make her feel better. She needs to know she¡¯s the only girl I love, the only girl I¡¯ve ever loved and the only girl I¡¯ll ever love.

    ¡°I really wish tonight didn¡¯t happen¡­I wanted you to have fun.¡±

    ¡°And I did have fun,¡± she counters. ¡°Until we got to the strip club¡ªI think I¡¯m going to stay away from them from now on. They only seem to ruin my night, not enhance it.¡±

    I see there¡¯s no point in warming up, straight to it then. ¡°The girl was my sister.¡±

    ¡°At the strip club?¡± The disbelief is clear in her voice. ¡°Your sister?¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Maddi¡­it turns out she¡¯s a stripper at The Spearmint Rhino.¡± I exhale. ¡°She just left here¡­I gave her money, so here¡¯s hoping she never takes her clothes off for cash ever again.¡±

    Olivia pulls back from me and I can feel her trying to decipher my expression in the dark. When she realizes it¡¯s too dark to see anything, her hands fly to my waist and she presses herself into me. ¡°I thought you¡ª¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what you thought,¡± I tell her. I don¡¯t want to hear how little she thinks of my loyalty to her and I don¡¯t think I can handle hearing such doubtful words from her¡ªat any stage in our relationship. Olivia¡¯s trust levels are naturally low and I guess I don¡¯t blame her. We all know Blade was a douchebag, with a douchebag name to boot, and if I have to spend the rest of my life gaining her trust because of him, then bring it on. I like a challenge and I¡¯ll love the look on her face when I¡¯m on my deathbed and she sees that I¡¯ve been faithful to her every single second of our relationship. ¡°What matters is that it¡¯s sorted out now and I¡¯m here with you.¡±

    ¡°Will I meet her?¡± O asks, her voice slightly hesitant. I want to tell her how close she came to meeting her, but decide against it.

    I shrug. ¡°Sooner or later.¡±

    ¡°Is she anything like you?¡±

    Is Maddi anything like me? She¡¯s tough with too much attitude for her own good. She¡¯s over-confident to the point of being crazily egotistical and she¡ª ¡°She¡¯s a hell of a lot like me.¡± I laugh, realizing how similar we are.

    ¡°Then I think we¡¯ll get on just fine.¡±

    I smile at the thought of Maddi and Olivia having ¡®girl time,¡¯ doing girly things like shopping and whatever else it is that women do when they hang out together. Knowing Maddi, it¡¯ll be mimosas and a baseball game¡ªor whatever hippie music festival is on. Olivia will have her work cut out for her when she¡¯s tries to keep up with my sister. She¡¯s full of life, never turning down an opportunity and never taking a breather. I think Olivia will appreciate my lifestyle a lot more after experiencing Maddi¡¯s.

    I shift my body weight forward, resting against Olivia. ¡°Sorry for scaring you¡­and for not talking to you.¡± I twist the tip of my index finger in her hair, causing the ends to wrap around me. ¡°I¡¯m not used to expressing myself¡­you make it easier for me, but sometimes I can¡¯t.¡± I don¡¯t know why. I don¡¯t have a reason for being the way I am¡­not everyone has a horrible back story. Do I need one? Do I need to have a dark, horrifying past to be the way I am? Why am I this way if I grew up okay? I don¡¯t fucking know, but what I do know is, breaking things, swearing, fucking, punching¡ªall of it¡ªit helps me. It helps me when I¡¯m mad, sad, anxious, and depressed. Does that make me psycho because I¡¯m not reliving some twisted past? Shit. I have no idea.

    ¡°It¡¯s not okay,¡± she mumbles. ¡°It¡¯s unhealthy and it leaves too much room for miscommunication. If I¡¯d have left tonight¡ª¡±

    I flinch inwardly at the thought.

    ¡°¡ªbecause you weren¡¯t talking to me¡­what would¡¯ve happened between us? Don¡¯t you think a situation like that would inflict too much damage on our relationship?¡±

    ¡°But you didn¡¯t leave,¡± I tell her, my voice takes a cold, dark edge, on purpose, to make a point. She can¡¯t leave me, I won¡¯t let her. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s simple, I love you, but that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m invincible to the hurtful things you do. And it¡¯s because I love you these things hurt me more than they should.¡±

    I untangle my finger from her hair and drag it down her spine to the small of her warm back.

    ¡°The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you, but there are certain ways I handle things,¡± I confess. ¡°When I¡¯m mad, I need time and space. I need to work it out of my system.¡±

    ¡°So work it out another way¡ªby, I don¡¯t know, kissing me or something¡ªanything other than what you¡¯re doing now.¡±

    ¡°Kissing you isn¡¯t going to work,¡± I say. ¡°I need something fast, to work the anxiety and anger out of my system.¡±

    Olivia pulls back from me. ¡°Kissing me won¡¯t work?¡±

    ¡°No.¡± And I truly don¡¯t think it will. I¡¯m so used to doing it my way, it¡¯s too late to try anything new.

    Her warm, feminine hands slide up my bare stomach and my muscles clench as her delicate fingers rest on my chest. ¡°But when I touch you, you feel better?¡±

    A cool, calming buzz melts through my hot veins under her touch. ¡°Yeah, but that¡¯s when I¡¯m feeling anxious, not exceptionally pissed off.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s try it.¡±

    ¡°Olivia, it¡¯s not going to¡ª¡±

    ¡°Seth,¡± she replies, mimicking my tone. ¡°Do it.¡±

    ¡°But it¡¯s not going to wo¡ª¡±

    ¡°Do it.¡±

    She¡¯s pricking at my frustration levels and I know she¡¯s doing it on purpose. It¡¯s awfully cocky of her to think her lips are the answer to everything, but if she wants me to kiss her, then fine, I¡¯ll kiss her with everything I have. My fingers fall from her back before they bury themselves in her hair. I tighten my grip and she gasps against the pain as I tug her head backwards and roll my body on top of her, making sure she feels me everywhere. I press her hard into the mattress, one of my thighs resting firmly between her legs and against her sweet, warm spot. My mouth lingers less than an inch from hers and her breath hits my face in a quick, anxious pant. ¡°You think your lips can help me?¡± I ask.

    Her pouty, marshmallow-like lips curl. ¡°I know they can.¡±

    I crush my lips to hers and her mouth opens willingly underneath mine. As soon as her tongue glides against mine and she wraps her hands around my neck, I¡¯m lost. Adrift from my original intent¡­which I¡¯m sure was to prove her wrong, yet here I am, completely captivated by the taste and feel of her. Maybe she¡¯s right. I shouldn¡¯t push her away when I¡¯m mad. I should pull her closer and let her calm me. I trace the curve of her soft little body with my hand before gripping her thigh and hooking it over my hip. Forgetting the fact I was previously hiding my erection from her, I shamelessly press it into her, letting her know exactly how bad I want it.

    ¡°Easy¡­¡± Olivia giggles against my mouth, pressing her hands firmly against my chest. I rake my teeth over her bottom lip and release it. ¡°We have a dinner to go to tonight and sleep is a more viable option than sex.¡±

    She¡¯s right. It¡¯s the morning and I¡¯m beyond tired¡­I want to sleep, but I want her more. ¡°I can assure you we¡¯ll be finished by tomorrow night.¡± I drop my mouth to her neck, licking her flesh and eliciting a half moan-half giggle from her.

    She pushes against me, forcing me away from her body. Olivia laughs once under her breath. ¡°I¡¯m telling you to get off me and go to sleep, not asking.¡±

    I pull back. I¡¯m unable to see her face in the dark, but I¡¯m certain I hear her smile. Cheeky little minx. I roll off her and onto my back. Instantly, she melts into my side, wrapping an arm over my waist. I pull her closer, but it still feels like she¡¯s too far away.

    ¡°How does your own medicine taste?¡± she chuckles, ending it with a quick, sleepy yawn.

    ¡°Bitter, like that gross cherry shit you¡¯re force fed as a kid.¡±

    She laughs and it vibrates my ribcage¡ªit also makes me smile. Olivia has the funniest, cutest, strangest laugh I¡¯ve ever heard. It¡¯s halfway between a giggle and an actual laugh¡ªand most times, it sounds kind of nervous. I love it; the sound of it is addicting.

    Soon, the room falls silent and I feel her arm become heavier as she falls deep into sleep. My eyes grow heavier as I follow quickly behind her. Tonight, we¡¯ll attend a formal dinner downstairs in the function room. There¡¯s no purpose to it other than to shake hands and meet other fighters, but I¡¯m excited (and a little nervous) to officially be welcomed into the professional community. Tonight¡¯s dinner isn¡¯t just about me, either. It¡¯s about Darryl and Jackson. After tonight they¡¯ll formally be recognized as legitimate trainers and team members of the MMAC, something I know they¡¯ve both been looking forward to. They deserve it. Olivia¡¯s heavy breathing filters through my ears and eradicates my thoughts. It lulls me nearer to sleep and I shift closer to her, absorbing the warmth of her soft skin. I will never ignore Olivia again. I¡¯m going to try my hardest to share my emotions with her, I tell myself before I fall over the edge into sleep. I¡¯ve already told her I loved her, how hard can the rest be?

 Page 33

    Chapter EighteenAdvertisement

    Olivia

    The bathroom door creaks as Seth leans his weight against it.

    ¡°We¡¯re going to be late.¡± He sighs, tapping his fingers against the wood in a cute, fast beat.

    I roll my eyes and adjust the beaded purple straps. How is he dressed already? I¡¯ve barely been in here five minutes. And the dinner is downstairs in the function room by the arena. I pull my phone off the counter and check the time. Oh! It turns out I¡¯ve been in here going on forty minutes. It¡¯s not my fault I¡¯m moving slo-mo. Seth and I went to bed sometime this morning and only woke up two hours ago. I don¡¯t drink coffee, either, so being a normal human being at tonight¡¯s dinner is becoming less realistic by the minute. We slept until late in the afternoon and when we checked our phones, they were full of messages and missed calls from the rest of the crew. Seth had a lot of calls to make once he woke and I replied to Selena¡¯s myriad of demanding text messages. Now, we¡¯re getting ready for dinner. Nerves chew their way through my stomach lining at the thought of being there on Seth¡¯s arm. That¡¯s why I needed the perfect dress, so I don¡¯t look so out of place next to his beyond gorgeous face.

    I smooth my hands over the satin fabric against my thighs. The dress is perfect, to say the least and my long chocolate hair that I¡¯ve curled into subtle waves adds that extra touch of elegance. I remind myself of a Cadbury chocolate bar. I twirl once, careful not to roll my ankle in these ridiculously high heels, and when I¡¯m sure I¡¯ve finished, I unlock the bathroom door, meeting Seth¡¯s suit-clad back. The fabric is crisp and straight, following the same shade of his hair¡ªjet black. He turns around and I visibly see air being forced from his lungs. His eyebrows lift and his lips part¡ªthe exact reaction I was hoping for. Forgetting me, I take in his entire form. The white shirt under his black jacket clings to his chest and you just know there¡¯s a killer body hiding underneath it. I nervously run the tips of my fingers along my neck. I feel like I¡¯m wearing a collar and it¡¯s suddenly choking me. He looks¡­there are no words. In the suit, he looks mischievous. Like he¡¯s ready to do indecent, naughty things at the drop of a hat and hide it behind his classy suit.

    ¡°Now I feel bad,¡± he says, finally speaking and raking his fingers through his hair.

    Instinctively, I step forward, pressing my hands against his chest and under his black tie. ¡°Why?¡±

    He reaches for my chest and runs a single, thick finger underneath the beaded strap. He avoids my eyes and miraculously comes off as indifferent. ¡°Because you spent money on a dress I¡¯m only going to destroy.¡± His eyes flick from my chest to my eyes to gauge my reaction. ¡°But I promise I¡¯ll make it worth every single dollar you spent.¡±

    I¡¯ve already kissed the dress goodbye. His rough hands, wet tongue, and hard body feels better on my skin than any fabric ever could¡ªeven one as expensive as this.

    There¡¯s a knock at the door and my breath catches in my throat. Our friends have impeccable timing. I suppose them showing up is a good thing. Five seconds longer and I would have torn the dress myself.

    ¡°Ready?¡± He smiles, extending his elbow to me.

    ¡°Let¡¯s do it.¡±

    He leads me out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and over to the front door. He wastes no time in yanking it open and exposing our glamorous friends. Selena takes one look at my dress and launches forward, pulling me into her arms. ¡°Oh my God, O!¡± she squees. ¡°You look amazing.¡±

    Selena¡¯s black silk gown has Vegas written all over it. She releases me and adjusts one of her tiny pearl earrings. Her golden hair is tied up in an elegant bun on the top of her head with strategic strands that spill from it. I admire her dress¡ªit¡¯s a halter neck with a plunging neckline. It clings to her waist and goes wide at the skirt. From mid-thigh to the floor, there¡¯s a huge slit, exposing the majority of her tan, slim leg.

    ¡°Wow, look at you, Ms. Angelina Jolie,¡± I say, taking a step back.

    I think Selena would even look amazing in a tartan patterned plastic bag. She looks elegant, but at the same time, casual, and I wonder if she spent half as long as I did getting ready. Who am I kidding? She probably spent the whole day preparing herself for the dinner.

    ¡°So that girl was Seth¡¯s sister?¡± Selena whispers to me when Darryl and Jackson pull Seth to the side and scold him quietly for last night.

    I nod and fidget with the thin, silver bracelet on my wrist. ¡°Yeah¡ªMaddi. Did Jackson tell you?¡±

    ¡°Yep. I bet he never saw that coming.¡±

    I laugh once. ¡°Did you see his reaction? Of course he didn¡¯t see it coming.¡±

    She inches closer to me. ¡°Darryl had a cleaner come up today and clean all of the glass.¡± I look over my shoulder. All of the destruction is gone. There¡¯s no trace of what happened last night when Seth and I came home. ¡°Are you okay?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m fine. How¡¯d Darryl know he smashed things?¡±

    She shrugs. ¡°He knows how Seth is.¡±

    Jesus. How regularly does he smash things?

    ¡°There¡¯s a hefty bill Seth has to foot when we leave here, though. The hotel is not impressed and even contacted the MMAC. Darryl has been apologizing on Seth¡¯s behalf since last night.¡±

    I shake my head. I guess that¡¯s what Darryl and Jackson are talking to Seth about. I look at him, there¡¯s the faintest hint of a smirk on the side of his lips and Darryl watches him in exasperation. There¡¯s no getting through to Seth. I find myself smiling at him. He does what he wants and explains himself to nobody¡ªexcept me. I¡¯m his exception and I guess deep down, I love arguing with him. I like riling him up and watching him become aggressive and demanding. Granted, it¡¯s not the hobby I¡¯m most proud of, but it¡¯s definitely one that excites me above all others. With a swift nod of his head, Seth steps away from Darryl and Jackson, focusing his eyes on me.

    I must be still smiling at him because he angles his head ever so slightly, his eyes flaring that over-confident gleam of his. I feel heat pool in my cheeks and flood down the back of my throat before settling in random spots, sending waves of hot flushes through me. I hate getting caught looking at him. He never lets me live it down. Thankfully, he doesn¡¯t say a word in front of the others. I couldn¡¯t handle it if they started pointing it out, too.

    I know I look at Seth a lot, but give me a break! He¡¯s kind of hard to ignore and I¡¯m only human. I can¡¯t be held accountable for the decisions my hormones make while they hold my brain at gun point.

    Selena, Darryl, and Jackson stroll from the room and once again, Seth extends his elbow to me.

    ¡°Are you ready, baby?¡± he asks me gruffly.

    I don¡¯t take his elbow straight away and I don¡¯t answer because this isn¡¯t about me. This is about him. I¡¯m just here for moral support.

    ¡°Are you ready? Because this is it¡ªeverything you¡¯ve worked so hard for has led to this moment.¡±

    His eyes never leave mine as he ponders my words. ¡°Tonight is going to change both our lives. I need to know if you¡¯re ready for that. If you¡¯re not, I¡¯ll shut this door right now and we can go back to bed. But if you¡¯re ready¡­¡± He glances down at his extended elbow. ¡°We¡¯ll go.¡±

    I slip my fingers around his large arm, feeling it all before hooking my elbow around his. ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡± I exhale with a steady breath.

    He smiles widely. ¡°Me too.¡±

    Chapter Nineteen

    Seth

    The function room is immaculate and beside me I hear Olivia¡¯s breath catch. I take note of all of the things her eyes linger on for more than five seconds¡ªthe glass water drop chandeliers, the large pane-free windows and gold edged paintings of some countryside. All of them I¡¯m going to find and put in our house. I want to see her smile and hear her breath catch every time she enters our family home. I quickly notice I¡¯m not the only one watching Olivia, either. There are loads of beautiful women here in dresses more provocative and edgy than Olivia¡¯s, and still the prying eyes of seedy men linger. Every eye in this room snaps towards her, they devour her every dip and curve, but she pays them no attention. She looks up at me and I feel the tension leave my shoulders once our eyes meet. I drop my elbow and grip her waist instead, guiding her with my hand away from the center of the room before I lash out at someone I shouldn¡¯t.

    Selena and Jackson disappear immediately and Darryl leaves to do his rounds, introducing himself to all of the ¡®right¡¯ people, people that could help my professional career with their knowledge, skills, and endless amounts of money. I don¡¯t need any of it, but Darryl thinks it¡¯s always good to have contacts. ¡®You never know when things will go sour and if they do, it¡¯s good to have powerful people behind you,¡¯ Darryl always says and maybe he¡¯s right. A woman, holding a large plate of wine glasses, comes to a stop in front of Olivia and I and we both cringe away from it, still feeling the effects of last night¡ªwell¡ªthis morning, technically. There¡¯s another reason I avoid alcohol¡­the hangover. The pound of my brain against the front of my skull hurts.

    My eyes flick to a light grey suit, pushing through the sea of black suits and colorful dresses. I recognize the tall, chubby man instantly. Matthew Somer, the CEO of the MMAC. He¡¯s doing pretty well for himself for someone so young¡ªforty three¡ªmaybe. He runs his fingers quickly over his black/grey hair and stalks toward us. Olivia slips from my grasp, slightly, but I tighten my hand and hold her against me. I don¡¯t want her walking around without me.

    ¡°Seth!¡± Matt cheers, clapping his hands together twice before extending one to me. ¡°Good to see you, man.¡±

    ¡°You too,¡± I tell him. I¡¯ve only met Matt once and that was when we were signing my six figure MMAC contract. His eyes pass over me and onto Olivia.

    ¡°I¡¯m Matt,¡± he says, smiling wide and wolfish, making his skin crease around the eyes.

    Olivia smiles back, as friendly and as beautiful as ever. ¡°Olivia,¡± she tells him as he extends his hand to her.

    ¡°Olivia, it¡¯s nice to meet you.¡± He clears his throat and they shake hands briefly. ¡°Do you mind if Seth and I have a quick, private discussion?¡±

    Under my hand, I feel her body sag with relief, but it never shows on her face.

    ¡°Not a problem.¡± She turns to me. ¡°Come find me later.¡±

    I nod and it takes all my strength to pry my fingers from their snug position on her hip. Matt watches Olivia walk away, unashamedly enjoying the way her hips sway.

    He shakes his head and turns back to me. Luckily for him, another passing tray of wine swings by us and I pull one off to busy my hands and prevent them from lashing at out.

    ¡°The women this sport gets you is insane. Fucking nines and tens, I swear.¡±

    Like he knows anything about nines and tens. To him, nines and tens are the girls everyone has had¡ªthe girls everyone wants. Those aren¡¯t tens, take it from me, a ten is a girl who respects herself, who doesn¡¯t ruin her body with vain necessities and endless strokes of cock.

    ¡°She was my woman before I made pro,¡± I tell him, avoiding eye contact. I draw the glass to my lips and take a sip. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m drinking fucking wine to avoid punching out my boss. I hate wine. I¡¯ve always hated wine, and yet I let the fruity liquid linger for a few seconds on my tongue before I swallow it. ¡°You wanted a private discussion?¡± I prompt him, eager to ditch him, ditch this wine, and find Olivia.

    He smiles and his hazel eyes flare at me. ¡°Wow, you really are the cocky, not-so-subtle asshole everyone¡¯s been warning me about.¡±

    I shrug my shoulders. At least he¡¯s straight to the point. I can admire that. ¡°I am.¡±

    ¡°Self-proclaimed as well, I see?¡±

    I smirk at him. ¡°If the shoe fits, why not wear it?¡±

    ¡°I like you,¡± Matt says, adjusting the cuffs on his jacket. ¡°And it¡¯s because I like you that I¡¯m choosing not to bring up the fact you trashed your hotel room last night.¡± He folds his arms. ¡°You¡¯re a fighter, you¡¯re full of testosterone and energy and anger, I get it.¡±

    He shifts his weight, leaning closer to me. ¡°But if you so much as reflect negatively on this sport and my fucking company, I will end you as quickly as I made you. Do you understand?¡±

    I bring the wine glass to my lips to hide a smile. I¡¯ve already pissed off the boss and I haven¡¯t even started work yet. I sip the foul liquid and swallow it. The whole time Matt¡¯s gaze never drops from mine.

    ¡°I understand.¡±

    ¡°Good.¡± He turns and then turns back. ¡°Oh, and by the way, if I want you to fight Don, you will fight Don. I¡¯m the rule maker in this game. I created them and I can change them.¡± He rubs his fingers together, gesturing all of the money he could make off of us. ¡°Think twice before you go against the MMAC. Don can easily end up the one on top, not you.¡±

    My fingers clench around the slender stem of the wine glass as Matt stalks away before camouflaging himself in with everyone else. Not a second later, I ditch my glass on a nearby table cluttered with all kinds of white and leafy decorative crap. I have to find Olivia, and luckily for me, she¡¯s the only one wearing such a vivid, alluring shade of purple. I stroll around with my hands stuffed in my pockets so I don¡¯t fidget. I¡¯m feeling a little anxious and I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s because of Matt¡¯s words or because I plan to propose to Olivia tonight. I don¡¯t know how many times I¡¯ve planned to ask her¡­I¡¯ve lost count.

    After thirty minutes, I give up and lean against a wide table next to a couple having a disagreement. I tune them out, uninterested in their problems. I let my eyes scan the room¡ªI look up the wide, long staircases and along the walls, but I still can¡¯t see her.

 Page 34

    When I¡¯m about to give up and start socializing, a large group of men in black suits step out of the way and my eyes are drawn to a purple fabric like a moth to flame. I let them roam up the length of her legs, over the curves of her body, and onto the side of her face. How does someone look perfect from every angle? Of course only she can manage something so mind blowing. I see her and the two guys she¡¯s talking to.Advertisement

    She spots me stalking toward her from her peripherals and angles her head slightly to look at me. A nervous blush flashes across her cheeks and she seems almost scared. Shit. Am I really that bad? Am I that much of a jealous asshole? The answers to those questions I know myself, but I¡¯m sure as hell not going to admit them.

    I walk toward her, proud by the way I keep my cool, and on my approach, when I slow to a stop beside Olivia, she abruptly hooks her elbow around mine. Her fingertips brush against my arm in a soothing gesture¡­am I not doing a good enough job at looking calm?

    ¡°This is my boyfriend, Seth,¡± she says, introducing me to them.

    Boyfriend. Boyfriend is not enough for me. It seems childish¡ªhigh schoolish. I want to be referred to as her fianc¨¦, better yet, I want to be called her husband¡ªso others know she has given everything to me and there¡¯s no chance in hell for them to get closer to her. They eye me closely and one¡ªthe one wearing a tan suit and has blond hair and blue eyes to match¡ªseems intimidated, but the other¡ªthe one with the sharp features and shaved head¡ªseems almost territorial. He eyes me up and down like he can take me, no sweat. I wouldn¡¯t fight either of them. Both seem barely twenty-one.

    ¡°How long you guys been dating?¡± His thick Texan accent comes through loud and clear¡­and it irritates the shit out of me.

    ¡°What¡¯s it to you?¡± I demand, inching closer.

    Olivia subtly elbows my ribs, but I hardly feel it.

    ¡°A couple of months,¡± she tells him

    ¡°That¡¯s not too long,¡± he states, his eyes flaring suggestively at her.

    ¡°You¡¯re right, it is short. Undoubtedly shorter than your stay in the hospital if you keep going with your unsubtle bullshit.¡± I don¡¯t know what it is about him that irks me. It could be the way his hair juts outwards or the way his lips curl crookedly when he speaks¡ªor maybe (just for added craziness)¡ªit¡¯s the way he¡¯s talking to my girl in front of me. His blond friend¡ªthe smarter one¡ªmutters for his friend to relax, but he ignores him. The idiot.

    ¡°You think you can put me in hospital?¡±

    I smile because I know I can put him in hospital.

    ¡°Jesus Christ,¡± O snaps at him, tugging on my arm. ¡°Don¡¯t challenge him.¡±

    I don¡¯t move, although I know I should. I¡¯m just not finished here. I can see it in his face how badly he wants Olivia, how desperately he wants to impress her and I want to take that away from him. Without taking my eyes off him, I snatch Olivia¡¯s waist and pull her to me.

    ¡°You want to fight me for my girl?¡± I ask, narrowing my eyes on him. He doesn¡¯t say anything, only glares as I continue. ¡°You see, Olivia here likes men, not boys.¡± I wrap my hands around her waist, feeling the subtle curves of her body. ¡°Your hands are small and inexperienced. I feel sorry for every girl that has ever been with you and has strangely given you the confidence to even blink at a woman like this. My hands, however¡­¡± I feel my lips curl devilishly. I know I shouldn¡¯t say it. ¡°¡­are experienced. They¡¯ve made her come more times than you question your sexual orientation, which¡ªjudging by your outfit¡ªI assume is a lot. Go away and come back when you know how to treat Olivia like a real woman.¡±

    ¡°Or better yet,¡± Olivia growls, pulling away from me. ¡°Don¡¯t.¡±

    She stalks off and I don¡¯t follow her right away. I want to, but I want these to assholes to disperse first. With the dirtiest look I¡¯ve ever received in my life, the douchebags turn and disappear.

    Good.

    ¡°Making friends everywhere you go, as always.¡± Darryl exhales behind me.

    He¡¯s getting pretty good at watching me from the background without my knowledge and I smirk over my shoulder at him.

    ¡°I¡¯d go and get her before she leaves.¡±

    My smirk fades. Fuck. Now I¡¯ve got to find Olivia and apologize for being an idiot. It¡¯s like one big vicious circle, but I can¡¯t help it¡ªhow many times do I use that excuse? It¡¯s true, though. I see someone that wants her and I feel the need to crush their souls. The thought of a mental image of Olivia popping into their brains pisses me off. I can¡¯t explain it¡­and I know it¡¯s pure, crazy selfishness that has me acting this way, but I¡¯ve never felt the way she makes me feel. I¡¯ve never had the stomach churning, chest levitating love before and now that I have it, I can¡¯t let it go. I won¡¯t.

    I see her pushing her way through the throng of people and I march after her, catching up in no time. I reach out for her, grabbing her small, fragile wrist and forcing her to stop and turn around. Her cheeks are flushed pink¡ªwith embarrassment or anger, I have no idea.

    ¡°I told you to stop using me against people after you did it with Mason,¡± she whispers harshly, avoiding attention.

    ¡°I know.¡±

    ¡°So why¡¯d you do it?¡±

    I don¡¯t think she or anyone will ever understand that I don¡¯t have reasons for anything that I do. I do it. That¡¯s it.

    ¡°Because that guy was a douchebag.¡±

    ¡°Seth¡ª¡±

    ¡°Let me show you something.¡±

    She frowns. ¡°What? Now?¡±

    I nod as excitement begins to pool inside me. I grit my teeth against a smile that threatens my lips. Now is the perfect time to unleash what I want to do on her.

    ¡°Is it going to make up for what you just did?¡±

    ¡°I promise.¡±

    She studies my face for a few seconds and I wonder if she can read my thoughts. I¡¯m taking her to the Garden Arena where I¡¯ll fight Junior Moset and I¡¯m going to let her in the cage¡­then I¡¯m going to ask her to be my wife.

    Chapter Twenty

    Olivia

    He leads me away from the gala and nervousness replaces my previous frustration. Are we even allowed back here?

    ¡°Where are we going?¡± I wonder aloud as he escorts me up a corridor, his hand low on the small of my back.

    ¡°You¡¯ll see,¡± is all he says as he glances sideways at me.

    In that quick glance, I saw it. I saw his eyes flash with indecent excitement and heat spreads through my organs. The wild gleam in his eyes doesn¡¯t pass me by, and as he pushes through some double service doors, I follow behind him. After a few more steps I¡¯m suddenly standing in the Garden Arena looking down on the intimidating cage. My chest tightens and I grip the black metal railing for support. I haven¡¯t been in a stadium in a few months and being back both terrifies and electrifies me.

    Seth clears his throat and I snap my attention to him. His hand is extended and his eyes clearly reflect the positive emotions he feels.

    ¡°We¡¯re going down there?¡± I ask, taking one step.

    He doesn¡¯t say anything, only nods. The weak lighting barely filters off the plastic chairs and to think in two weeks this place is going to be as bright as day and filled with thousands upon thousands of screaming people bewilders me.

    Seth walks with purpose, pulling me along behind him as he leads me through rows of seats and down concrete stairs. The closer I get to the cage, the larger it seems, and the larger it seems, the more the apprehension of what Seth does settles in. I¡¯m with a fighter¡­How the hell did that happen and what the hell is wrong with me? I don¡¯t like fighting and I never have, so how the hell did I fall for a fighter?

    The tall cage looms over me, distracting me from my thoughts. I gape up at the monstrous structure. I¡¯ve never been this close to a cage before¡ªa real cage, I mean. I¡¯ve seen Seth¡¯s training one plenty of times, but it doesn¡¯t intimidate me like this one does.

    Seth moves from me and up the small steps before opening the cage door. He smiles down at me with those gorgeous goddamn lips and says, ¡°After you.¡±

    He gestures for me to enter the cage with one gentle swipe of his hand.

    ¡°Me?¡± I almost glance over my shoulder. ¡°Am I allowed to go in there?¡±

    ¡°We can do whatever we want. Who¡¯s going to know?¡±

    The way he says it¡ªwith such promise¡ªhas my stomach doing flips and I inch forward. When the tip of my shoe hits the bottom step of the ring, I halt and look up at him.

    ¡°Scared?¡± he asks.

    ¡°Should I be?¡±

    His irises flare at me and his mouth curls into a cocky smirk. ¡°Absolutely.¡±

    My body reacts as if he said, no, I shouldn¡¯t be scared. It¡¯s like he has me under some kind of spell. I ascend the steps and inch forward until I¡¯m standing firmly on the vinyl flooring. The floor doesn¡¯t bounce or bow underneath my weight. How hard do these guys slam each other to make it bounce so much? I do a full circle, taking in the view from this spot. How amazing would it be to see the arena filled with people from where I¡¯m standing? Even now, when it¡¯s just Seth and I, adrenaline flows through my veins like rapid-fire, making my head spin. I circle the ring slowly, letting my fingers glide over the vinyl baked wiring. Halfway around, I run out of breath. Not because I¡¯m tired, but because I¡¯m overwhelmed by the size of it all. I rest against the cage, letting the cold metal cool my burning skin. I drag my eyes around the ring before settling on Seth¡¯s face.

    ¡°I see why you love being on this side of the wire,¡± I wonder aloud, feeling a hot flush flow through me as he pushes himself off of the cage door. ¡°It¡¯s amazing from here.¡±

    The door closes behind him with a light slam and I watch as he hooks a finger around his black tie, loosening it. I swallow hard and subtly squeeze my thighs together as a familiar pulsing starts¡ªthe pulsing only Seth can arouse. Only he can provoke such feelings with one painfully normal act. I expel a slow, heavy breath as he saunters toward me. There¡¯s no mistaking the way he walks¡ªhe wants me and he wants me now.

    Seth stops once his hard body grazes mine and his hand wraps around my wrist, pinning it above my head. Being within a foot of him, I feel my body come alive, humming as pure sexual energy starts to take over. Our eyes stay locked as he pulls his tie from the collar of his white formal shirt. The soft silk of his tie glides against skin and I frown. What is he doing? The fabric bites into my wrist and I lurch forward, rebounding off his large torso and ending flush up against the cage again.

    ¡°Seth!¡± I gasp, tugging at my wrist and getting nowhere. ¡°What are you doing?¡±

    He works the fabric around the wires of the cage, ignoring me. The whole time I watch him, panicked by what¡¯s happening, he has a mischievous, smoldering gleam in his eyes.

    When he¡¯s done successfully tethering me to the cage, he runs his rough fingers up my sensitive forearm, sending heat inducing tingles tearing through my body. I can just make out his features under the glow of security lights and exit signs as his hands slide onto the nape of my neck and his lips crash to mine. My body melts to his as he presses me hard against the wire and all is well and fun until his fingers slide across my waist and clasp the zipper to my dress. I pull away from him, breathless.

    The zipper begins its painfully slow descent and my nerves rise. I flinch away from his hand in an attempt to get him to stop.

    ¡°Easy,¡± he scolds me. ¡°I¡¯m already trying hard not to rip this thing at the seams.¡±

    ¡°Someone will see us¡­¡±

    He stops and looks me dead in the eyes. ¡°You think I¡¯d put you on show for someone else to see? No. You¡¯re all mine.¡±

    Using my free hand, I squeeze it between us and reach to untie the tie, but I¡¯m stopped as he yanks my hand away. I squirm as he presses it against the cage above my head, right next to the other and his free hand slips into my dress, clamping on my bare hip.

    ¡°Why here? Why can¡¯t you wait until we get home?¡±

    He lowers his head, bringing his full lips to my ear. His breath hits my face and it¡¯s like fire lapping at my nerves, singeing and burning my insides.

    ¡°Why wait?¡± he breathes, his hand tightening around my hip. ¡°I fight here and I want to fuck here.¡±

    I don¡¯t have time to react¡ªor even frown¡ªbefore his mouth claims me for a second time. I shiver as his rough hand skims my bare flesh. He tugs my dress down and it pools in a purple mess at my feet. Kissing me harder than I¡¯ve ever been kissed before, his hands roam my body, harshly grabbing and squeezing everything and eliciting moans from me every time.

    I can¡¯t say I ever pictured myself bound to an MMA ring in my underwear¡­but that¡¯s how it is with Seth. If he wants something, he gets it, and he gets it any way he wants it.

    His fingers curl around my underwear and he snags it, snapping the flimsy fabric and leaving me bare. Too consumed in his mouth, it takes me a while to register what he¡¯s doing¡­until the lace of my underwear tightens around the wrist above my head.

    He catches my lip between his teeth and I wince as he rakes them over it before taking a step back. His eyes linger on my breasts, long enough for my cheeks to burn from the scrutiny as he admires me, giving no indication if this is to his liking or not. Seth steps in close again and reaches round me, unhooking my strapless bra. I feel my eyes widen as the cups fall to my feet, landing on top of the fabric.

    I try and cross my legs, but he jams a hand between them, chuckling deeply. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. I didn¡¯t lure you all the way up here and tie you to the ring only to have you shy away from me.¡±

 Page 35

    ¡°Seth¡ª¡±Advertisement

    ¡°O, I want you to take all of those nervous thoughts that are skittering around your head and I want you to forget them. I¡¯d never do anything to hurt you. I¡¯d never do anything to demean you¡­¡± His lips twitch. ¡°¡­intentionally. All I want is to make you feel good.¡±

    He removes his hands from my thighs, slips out of his jacket and tosses it to the side like it isn¡¯t worth a cent. ¡°I want you to feel special, like you¡¯re the only girl I want to be with.¡±

    I keep my eyes on his as his fingers curl around his buttons one by one, exposing his alluring flesh piece by piece. I¡¯m enthralled by the vision. Every muscle in his perfect body is obvious and sculpted to complete perfection.

    ¡°You don¡¯t scream for me when I¡¯m fighting, but you will scream for me now.¡± He strokes his finger along my bottom lip then pushes it inside. He surveys his finger in my mouth before he snatches it back, grabs my jaw and swoops down, claiming it with a heavy breath. His tongue tastes me with an aggressive passion that sets my body alight. I can hear our breath smashing into each other and I gasp loudly when he pulls away without any notice. He rests his forehead against mine. ¡°And I will replay your screams over and over in my head every second I¡¯m in this ring two weeks from now.¡±

    I nod my compliance eagerly, but I don¡¯t know whether to be petrified or exhilarated. He shrugs out of his shirt, exposing all of his clean cut muscles and he kicks the fabric to the side, uncaring if it wrinkles. He doesn¡¯t give me much time to admire him topless in a nice pair of slacks. His hands shoot out and grip my bare hips as he descends on me, lowering his head to suck harshly on my neck. Fervently, I press myself into him, unable to get enough. Seth¡¯s rough hand glides down my navel and between my legs. I shudder as a low growl rolls through his chest like thunder and he drags his lips to my ear.

    ¡°You¡¯re so fucking wet.¡± He sucks my earlobe between his lips and releases it. ¡°You don¡¯t want to be, but you¡¯re really turned on by this, aren¡¯t you?¡±

    He strokes me and it sends a bolt of pleasure down through my body, making my knees weaken. I rake my teeth across my bottom lip and shake my head, refusing to play into his hands straight away even though my heart pounds hot blood through my veins.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to have to do better than that, baby,¡± I tell him, not in the slightest bit embarrassed that my voice is low and breathless.

    His eyes flare. He knows he has me melting like butter, but he plays along, undoubtedly eager to see how long I can keep from letting myself go. His fingers slip from me and a pang of disappointment courses through my body¡­or at least it does until I hear the zip of his pants. Before I have time to see if he¡¯ll drop them or not, his hands tighten around my hips and I¡¯m suddenly being thrust upward. He hoists me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around him while he shoves his hips into mine, thrusting against me. Seth smirks as he presses his bare erection deliberately into the apex of my thighs, and I squirm as my breath escapes in a sharp gust. His expression turns predatory¡ªdark and hungry.

    ¡°I¡¯ve watched you strut around in your dress while others stared.¡± He cups one of my breasts and my peaks strain against the palm of his hand.

    I squeeze him tighter, forcing him even closer to me. In response, he runs his tongue slowly over my bottom lip. ¡°I¡¯ve watched other men flirt with you and eye-fuck you.¡± He drops a hand to position himself right where I want him to be. ¡°You¡¯re here with me now, though,¡± he rasps, entering me a fraction and sending white hot pleasure arrowing through my core. ¡°And all I want is to hear you say it.¡±

    He doesn¡¯t push further as he waits for me to say it¡ªwhatever it is. I flex my hips, forcing him in deeper, but he pulls away, keeping me desperate and wanting.

    ¡°Seth¡­¡± I groan.

    Cold tingles¡ªwait¡ªhot tingles dance over the surface of my skin as he pushes a little deeper then moves back out.

    ¡°You were mad at me upstairs,¡± he says, his breath sounding awfully shaky for someone who is meant to be in control. I almost smile.

    ¡°I was.¡±

    ¡°It was never my intent to demean you, but I had to let those dick bags know that you¡¯re mine.¡±

    I feel my brows draw together. ¡°I know I¡¯m yours. That¡¯s all that should matter.¡±

    He shakes his head. ¡°For as long as you¡¯re with me, I¡¯ll make sure everyone knows it. Whoever talks to you, touches you, or looks at you will know that you are mine, and I will do and say an endless amount of stupid shit to achieve that.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    He moves inside of me and I desperately want to grip his shoulders against the shudder that rolls through me.

    ¡°Because I love you and I¡¯ve never loved anyone before¡­I don¡¯t want anyone else to feel how you make me feel. I told you when we met that I¡¯m fucking selfish and spoiled, and I wasn¡¯t kidding. I want every one of your smiles, every laugh, every tear, every-fucking-thing¡ªall of it¡ªI want it and I want it all to myself.¡±

    My heart swells at his words¡ªalthough not elegantly stated¡ªand I want to give him all of me. I do give him all of me. I want to break through these restraints and glide my hands across his shoulders and up his neck to reassure him. ¡°I am yours and solely yours. The smiles I give everyone else aren¡¯t like the smiles I give you. For them, I smile out of courtesy. For you, I smile out of love¡ªsomething only you make me feel.¡±

    His features soften and I watch his tongue glide quickly over his bottom lip. ¡°Why do you love me?¡±

    I stare into his choc-honeycomb eyes and think about my answer. After a few prolonged seconds, I realize I don¡¯t have one and I shake my head.

    ¡°I don¡¯t have an answer¡­and maybe that¡¯s what love is.¡±

    His brows furrow. ¡°Explain.¡±

    ¡°Well, maybe love is enigmatic for a reason. Think about it, all of the greatest things in this world are indescribable because there are no words that can accurately portray them.¡± He smiles and I mimic it. ¡°In short, inexpressible beyond words is my answer for you.¡±

    His forehead falls softly against mine. ¡°I don¡¯t deserve you¡­I shouldn¡¯t be tying you up out in the open and I shouldn¡¯t be treating you like you¡¯re anything but good.¡±

    I shrug, my stare falling to his lips. I don¡¯t want him to stop this. It feels right. All I want is Seth on me, around me, inside of me¡ªI can¡¯t get close enough to him.

    ¡°Even good can be a little bad sometimes.¡±

    His mouth quirks up on an adorable angle. ¡°That doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to, now shut up and finish what you started.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you understand how this works.¡± He bites back a cocky smile. ¡°You¡¯re the one tied up¡­which means, you are in no position to give me orders.¡±

    With a flick of my eyebrows, I roll my hips on him and he growls deep in his chest, gripping my hips. I may be tied up, but I still have the power. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as Seth slams himself all the way inside, making me take all of him in one deep thrust. As he fills me, the air whooshes out of my lungs and stings when I forget to breathe. His hands squeeze me as he moans my name. With each thrust his length fills my hot core completely and my helpless body writhes against the wire as I cry out in ecstasy. My eager moans spur Seth onward and he slams into me with surprising, spine-tingling force.

    ¡°You are here with me,¡± he mutters in a sexy husky voice and I¡¯m unsure if it¡¯s to me or himself. ¡°Because you are fucking mine.¡±

    I bite my lip harshly and moan my agreement. My head spins and momentarily, I¡¯m worried that this is all a dream¡ªthat I¡¯m about to wake up and find this isn¡¯t happening, but when I drag my eyes to his and see his scorching eyes and sexy smirk, I know there¡¯s no way I¡¯m dreaming. This is real. He feels real¡­and fucking amazing.

    ¡°Untie me.¡±

    I want to engulf my fingers in his dark hair. I want to run my hands over his hard body and feel his muscles tremble because of me.

    ¡°You want to touch me?¡±

    I nod. ¡°Desperately.¡±

    In an instant he reaches up and manages to free my hands. It¡¯s clear the tying thing doesn¡¯t work for us. We need to feel each other with our hands¡ªevery time we have sex we explore each other and touch each other like it¡¯s the very first time all over again.

    Immediately, I plunge my fingers into his hair and he groans as I weave my fingers tightly through his locks. His tongue plunges into my mouth, assuming all control. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll have marks on my back from the cage, but I don¡¯t care¡ªnot right now, anyway.

    Seth¡¯s movements speed to a frantic pace and I can hear him grunting and growling low in his chest, begging me for his release as he continues to fuck me. I¡¯m close, and I begin to pull at his hair as I climb higher to my peak. I¡¯m falling endlessly, waiting for something to explode inside me, but I don¡¯t want to come yet. I want to stay here on the edge of euphoria with him. Seth grips the base of my thigh, thrusting in long, quick strokes.

    ¡°Yes,¡± I hiss, locking my ankles.

    My mouth and brain are disconnected from each other. My brain knows to shut up, but my mouth insists on begging for more. When I¡¯m panting for air, his mouth slips down to my neck and he bites down on it, sucking fiercely. He releases the skin instantly, realizing a love bite isn¡¯t the classiest thing to show off at an event like this, and runs his tongue over the spot he sucked. My hands grope him and my mouth nips and licks every section of exposed flesh available to me.

    ¡°Tell me¡­¡± he moans into my ear. ¡°Tell me how much you love this.¡±

    ¡°I love you taking me hard against the cage.¡±

    He moans, deep and husky, and it vibrates every sensitive part in my body, increasing my pleasure tenfold. My body contracts as sensations begin to build in me, forcing me to pant hard and heavy. I¡¯m going to come¡­I try to hold it off, wanting to prolong this feeling and this moment, but as soon as Seth reaches down in between us, and he flicks a rough, thick and hard finger over my sensitive bundle of nerves, all is lost. I¡¯m spinning down an endless spiral, floating above my body. He¡¯s swearing under his breath as my muscles constrict almost painfully around him, and I¡¯m milking him deeper and deeper inside of me.

    ¡°Seth!¡± I grab his shoulders as the friction of him thrusting into me becomes too much.

    ¡°You better fucking scream for me,¡± he rasps, rubbing me harder, thrusting deeper. He bites my bottom lip and the feel of his tongue, the nip of his teeth, the heat of his breath, the friction of his fingers¡ªit¡¯s all too much and dark coils unfurl in my stomach, whipping wildly inside of me, shattering my self control and fragmenting me. I dig my nails into the taut flesh of his shoulders and I scream out as wave after wave of the most intense orgasm of my life rips through my entire body, causing my muscles to spasm and my breath to falter. Seth¡¯s hips drive harder and faster as I ride out the surge, his eyes never leaving mine.

    ¡°Fuck yeah¡­oh¡­¡± he growls, pressing his forehead against mine. Our breaths clash in a heavy pant and our lips barely graze. His thrusts become quick and shaky, his eyes half-lidded and lust-filled. Not a second later, he jams his tongue in my mouth and I absorbed all of his moans on the tip of my tongue as warmth spreads throughout my womb. Long after I feel him soften, he continues to kiss me. His lips slow moving against mine in a relaxed rhythm as his tongue licks and tastes me. I feel myself melt into him and he supports most of my weight. With a small nip of my bottom lip, he pulls away.

    ¡°That¡¯ll do just nicely.¡± He smiles, and it¡¯s a cute, lazy smile that makes my heart swell hard against my ribs.

    He steps away from me and fresh, cool air clings to my skin in his absence. I reach for my dress, but his voice stops me. ¡°Not yet.¡±

    I freeze and draw myself back to full height. Excitement bubbles at the thought of doing what we just did again, but when Seth starts putting his own clothes back on, I really become confused. I watch, leaning thoughtfully against the wire¡ªthe wire that is probably printed onto the flesh on my back, too.

    As he pulls his jacket over his shoulders, he steps closer with a wide smile.

    ¡°What?¡± I ask.

    ¡°You are so amazing.¡± He chuckles, stroking my nipple with his index finger and it stands to attention.

    ¡°You can¡¯t tell me this when I¡¯m dressed?¡±

    ¡°I can, but it¡¯s what I¡¯m going to tell you afterwards that I want you to be naked for.¡±

    I frown. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Because I want you to remember this. When you think back to this life changing moment, I want it to have my name all over it.¡±

    Seth drops before me, down on one knee! My heart stops and stutters, threatening to implode and kill me on the spot. When it continues to beat, it pumps blood through my veins at a pace too quick for the rest of my body to accommodate and my head spins. Do not freak out. This can¡¯t possibly be what I think it is.

    He looks up at me through thick, dark lashes.

    Oh, fuck.

    Without taking his eyes from mine, he reaches into his jacket and produces a gorgeous green velvet box. I¡¯m frozen. It¡¯s exactly what I think it is. He opens the box and exposes the most beautiful ring I¡¯ve ever seen. Gold. Emeralds. Diamonds. All of the pretty rocks are arranged on top of the gold band in a breathtaking display of elegance.

    Oh, shit.

    ¡°If I don¡¯t do this now, I know I¡¯ll regret it later. I¡¯m here in my favorite place, with my favorite person¡ªnaked, might I add¡ªand I can¡¯t think of a more perfect time other than right now to ask you what I¡¯ve been dying to ask you.¡±

 Page 36

    I try to speak, but only pathetic gusts of air come out.Advertisement

    ¡°Before I ask, I want you to know that I know I¡¯m a difficult person. I know I¡¯m childish and immature and a million other things, and I want this one second to say thank you for putting up with me and I thank God¡ªor whatever¡ªeveryday for making you as masochistic as me.¡± I roll my eyes at him. I¡¯m hardly masochistic. ¡°I know you have a lot of people you can rely on that are more than willing to be there for you and to support you, but no one can look after you or take care of you like I can, O. Not your mom, not your brother, not even you, at least, not like I can and not like I want to.¡±

    He inches closer, his eyes glossy and pleading. ¡°I want to be the one to look after you and to care for you. I want my last name to be the one you sign forms with. I want to be the person you call when you need help or advice. I want to be the love of your life, your reason for living, and your best friend. What I¡¯m asking, O, is for you to give me the chance to take care of you, to give you everything you¡¯ve ever wanted, and everything you¡¯ve always deserved. I want to marry you. I want you to have my last name and carry my children. I want us to buy a home together¡ªto be together.¡±

    Whoa. That is a lot of wants¡­my mouth is still open, still in utter shock at what is unfolding before me. I snap my mouth shut and squeeze my fingers against my damp palm to stop from trembling. I feel sick¡­but it¡¯s that excited/nervous kind of sick. Time slows and my gaze drops to his lips as the question falls from his lips.

    ¡°Will you marry me?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re going to ask me to marry you when I¡¯m naked in a cage and you¡¯re fully clothed?¡± I choke out, completely avoiding the point to buy myself more time. I¡¯ve been waiting for this to happen¡­but now that it has, I¡¯m a deer in the headlights.

    He smiles wickedly. ¡°This is exactly how I imagined it, but that¡¯s not the response I want from you.¡±

    Right. I flick my tongue over my bottom lip to dispel the dryness. ¡°Yes.¡± I tell him, unable to hide my sudden, face-splitting smile. ¡°Of course it¡¯s a yes.¡±

    The smile that splits Seth¡¯s face is like no other and in one fluid motion he pulls the ring from the box, takes my hand in his, and slips the ring on. Without missing a beat, he launches at me, sweeping me into his arms and pressing me hard against the cage again. We kiss. We kiss again. We kiss over and over, unable to express our happiness in words. When I was young and I dreamt of my engagement, I definitely didn¡¯t imagine I¡¯d be naked in a cage with a fighter. I imagined snow falling from the sky, white horses, red roses¡ªthe whole unrealistic package. But this is so much better. This is real and perfect. This has Seth¡¯s name all over it and I¡¯ll never forget it, ever.

    As we walk back to the function, it¡¯s hard to keep my eyes on the tiles in front of me and not on the ring wrapped around my finger. My knees wobble underneath me as my body still reels in the after effects of the mind-blowing sex and the excitement of what came afterwards. I feel different¡ªlike a new person entirely. I always knew I wanted to be with Seth forever, but now the feeling is certain¡ªas solid as stone. I rest most of my weight against him. My fianc¨¦. My husband to be.

    I can¡¯t stop smiling and I glance at Seth. As usual, he¡¯s the perfect picture of calm, but I know he¡¯s as excited as I am. I can tell by the way his thumb brushes eagerly over my fingers. As we walk through the crowd and different pairs of eyes stop and stare at me, I notice Seth¡¯s fingers don¡¯t possessively squeeze me. That says a lot about our ¡®new¡¯ relationship already. He knows I¡¯m his now. He knows I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Not squeezing me gives me confidence that he¡¯s willing to grow as a person and that he trusts me. Walking with Seth is like walking with a loaded gun at times. You never know when he¡¯s feeling particularly aggressive or territorial and you never know if or when he¡¯s going to go off.

    Seth is the kind of person who needs to be shown love in order to feel loved. We could be sitting alone in a room after a movie or sex and he¡¯ll feel unloved unless he¡¯s touching me or I¡¯m touching him. We don¡¯t talk much about him or his childhood. He prefers to live in the now and avoids dredging up old memories, but I know (from the small conversations we¡¯ve had) that his neediness and his need for validation stems from his father¡¯s neglect. Because of that, Seth needs constant affection. He needs to be praised¡ªhe craves it. He acts like he¡¯s untouchable and his confidence is a balloon too hard to pop with a sharp needle, but deep down I think he¡¯s just as insecure as the rest of us.

    Seth is jealous, commanding, and a little too proud, but that¡¯s okay with me. He¡¯s only human, and being human means you¡¯re vulnerable, that you have weaknesses and imperfections. That¡¯s the beauty of it. Being human is about making mistakes and learning from them¡­or not, if you don¡¯t want to. There¡¯s too much pressure to be perfect these days, and guess what? People are imperfect. People are annoying, stupid, and rude at times, but it¡¯s okay. It¡¯s okay because ninety percent of the time it doesn¡¯t affect you directly and it¡¯s up to you to let it bother you and poison you or you can brush it off. I don¡¯t know, maybe I¡¯m just trying to defend Seth¡¯s behavior¡ªhell¡ªmaybe I¡¯m trying to defend my own behavior. My decisions haven¡¯t always been sound ones, but they are my decisions and I¡¯m the only one that has to live with them, no one else.

    Seth escorts me through some more double doors and into another function room. Huge round tables fill the room, decorated with red and white dressings topped with a gorgeous ice sculpture centered in the middle. Forget the swan. These guys want boxing gloves and fists in the middle of their table to add elegance to their celebration.

    We¡¯re seated at a table with people we don¡¯t even know¡ªwell¡ªpeople I don¡¯t know. Seth seems to know everyone and has fought and beat at least three of the five fighters at our table. The coordinators of this event has split everyone up into their occupations¡ªfighters with fighters, coaches with coaches¡ªand so on. At our table, and directly across from us, sits wrestling world champion and Seth¡¯s opponent, Junior Moset. Their relationship is a hell of a lot tamer than Seth and Don¡¯s, and they even smile and throw jokes at each other when their conversations cross paths. No matter how friendly the conversation is, though, it¡¯s clear both fighters think they¡¯re going to win. Junior is a lot like Seth, size-wise, and it¡¯s hard to believe someone his size can be so efficient on the floor. Regardless of his impressive background, Seth isn¡¯t intimidated by him, and Junior isn¡¯t intimidated by Seth¡¯s outstanding undefeated history. It¡¯ll make for an interesting fight, I¡¯m sure.

    Junior is handsome¡ªlight caramel skin and crazy-bright, golden honey eyes. He has a scruffy mop of chocolate hair (two shades lighter than mine) that sticks up in an array of styled spikes. It suits him and his fun, confident personality.

    ¡°Seth, you do know Junior has defeated his last two opponents with a standing rear naked choke,¡± a guy I don¡¯t know or recognize says, nudging Junior with his elbow.

    I glance sideways at Seth, who shrugs and smiles. ¡°I¡¯m aware.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t bother you?¡±

    Junior smirks, and rests his elbows on the table, chewing on a steamed bean. He enjoys tormenting Seth and I get it. He¡¯s new, he hasn¡¯t fought for his keep yet, but when they fight in two weeks, I know it¡¯s Seth who¡¯ll come out on top. Seth knows it too, and that¡¯s why he¡¯s casually playing along with their games.

    ¡°Nothing bothers me.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s got to be something that bothers you,¡± Junior snickers. ¡°Spiders bother me.¡±

    Seth drops his fork against his plate. ¡°Okay, the anxious wait between fights bothers me. Not having sex for long periods of time bothers me, and knowing I¡¯m going to knock you out in the first round and not give the spectators a good show bothers me.¡±

    The table erupts with whistles and ¡®burn¡¯ remarks. I roll my eyes. I have no idea how I¡¯ve put up with this for the last forty minutes and I don¡¯t think I can take another second. The other girls that sit around the table with their fighters are enjoying the banter immensely, but I find it a pointless show of feathers. Every single man at this table thinks they are the ultimate ¡®alpha male,¡¯ which leads to some very loud, pointless conversations and challenges.

    Seth leans into me, pulling me from my thoughts. ¡°Lightning bothers me, too,¡± he whispers with a wink.

    ¡°Lightning? Like the stuff that comes from the clouds during a storm?¡±

    He nods, pulling his glass of water to his lips and taking a sip. ¡°It freaks me out,¡± he says when he lowers it again.

    I watch him, my eyes as wide as saucers. How someone his size is scared of anything, let alone lightning, is beyond me. I put my napkin to my mouth and conceal my laugh. Seth smiles back, pleased with himself for sharing this new piece of information with me.

    ¡°Spiders are pretty scary,¡± Seth tells Junior, returning to the table conversation, ¡°¡­to girls.¡±

    I nudge Seth with my elbow and he laughs, picking at his fish with his fork. The table roars with laughter and Junior shrugs it off like it¡¯s no big deal. He¡¯s very humble, not caring what Seth says to him, and I decide I like Junior, which will make watching Seth and Junior¡¯s fight slightly more difficult.

    ¡°A girl?¡± Junior chuckles. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have labelled me as that, now it¡¯s going to be a hell of a lot more embarrassing for you when I submit your ass.¡±

    Seth opens his mouth to reply with another undoubtedly rude, smart ass comment, but a male voice over the speakers stops him.

    ¡°Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our first official MMAC dinner of this season.¡±

    Applause erupts over the room and we twist in our chairs to the stage behind us. At the microphone is the CEO of the MMAC, Matthew Somers. Matthew seems like a good enough guy.

    ¡°This season will be a memorable one. In the break, we¡¯ve recruited a few new fighters¡ªDarren Shane, Rashad Moens, Hayne Gains, and amateur champion, Seth Marc.¡±

    The crowd goes for another round of applause and in the distance I hear whistling and whooping¡ªa female voice that sounds an awful lot like Selena¡¯s. I bite back a smile, assuming she¡¯s had a little too much wine.

    ¡°All of these new fighters will go up against our seasoned pros at one stage or another¡ªthe usual, but¡ª¡±

    The way he says it sets me on edge for some strange reason.

    ¡°This season, we¡¯re going to do something we¡¯ve never done before. We¡¯re going to give an amateur a shot at joining the MMAC.¡± He raises a finger. ¡°One shot. One fight. We¡¯ve all seen the hype on the internet about Seth Marc. We all know what he¡¯s capable of¡ªwhat he can bring to this sport.¡±

    I look at Seth and his jaw clenches imperceptibly.

    ¡°In this room, we have one man capable of bringing the greatest rematch this sport has ever seen. You want to know how many views the amateur championship fight between Don Russell and Seth Marc got on the internet. Five hundred and fifty-seven million.¡±

    Matt raises two fingers. ¡°Two weeks following his fight with Junior Moset, Mr. Seth Marc will be going up against a promising fighter at the Mandalay Bay Event Arena. One we pulled off the same streets as Seth¡ªone who wants to be here just as badly as any of you.¡± Matt chuckles, smirking at Seth like the back-stabbing wolf he is. ¡°One who hates Seth more than anyone else on the planet.¡±

    My mouth drops, following the motions of my stomach. Surely he doesn¡¯t mean¡ª

    ¡°Don Russell.¡±

    The room crackles with anticipation and enlivens with chatter. I look sideways at Seth to gauge his reaction. His eyes are focused on Matt and his lips are held in a small smile. Watching him now, you¡¯d think he isn¡¯t the least bit phased by the announcement¡­but I know him and there¡¯s no doubt that deep down he¡¯s losing his mind.

    ¡°If Seth wins, Don Russell will never get a chance to join the MMAC. If Don wins, he gets a spot in the MMAC and a shot at the World Champion title like everyone else. Two weeks from now¡ªJunior, try not to hurt him too bad. I need him.¡± Matthew laughs and puts the microphone back in its holder before turning on his heel and strolling from the stage with a wide smile on his stupid face. What a snake. Matt made this announcement public, knowing Seth will never back down and risk humiliating himself. He knows Seth is stubborn and proud¡­he knows doing it this way Seth can¡¯t say no. He manipulated Seth into the fight.

    Seth turns back around in his seat and pushes his plate of food to the side, resting his elbows on the table.

    ¡°Don Russell,¡± Junior scoffs. ¡°The guy is a joke. Why Matt wants him in the MMAC is beyond me. Fucking vermin.¡±

    Half the table mumbles their agreement.

    ¡°Can we go home?¡± I ask Seth, loud enough for the table to hear.

    I know he doesn¡¯t want to be here, I can see it on his face¡ªregardless of how hard he¡¯s trying to hide it. Knowing him, he wouldn¡¯t want to be seen as running from the dinner directly after the announcement.

    ¡°Go home?¡±

    I nod my head quickly, nudging him. He catches on, relief flooding his features.

    ¡°Beauty sleep?¡± the strange guy next to me slurs. ¡°You don¡¯t need beauty sleep, baby.¡±

    I laugh nervously, rising to my feet and pushing my chair back with my legs. I glance at Seth, who¡¯s watching the guy closely. I don¡¯t need a drunk creep making Seth flip out right now. ¡°Seth?¡±

 Page 37

    He removes his attention from the guy who¡¯s already shifted his interest back to his date. Seth nods his head, says his goodbyes to the rest of the table, and I shoulder the blame for our sudden departure.Advertisement

    We stroll past table after table, unable to avoid the congratulations on the rematch, and when the door is only a few feet away, Darryl and Jackson slip in front of us.

    ¡°Not now, Darryl,¡± Seth growls through clenched teeth.

    ¡°I¡¯ve called your lawyers; they¡¯re going to¡ª¡±

    Seth pushes past them, dragging me behind him. ¡°Cancel them.¡±

    ¡°Cancel them?¡± Jackson questions. ¡°Seth, you-¡±

    Seth snaps around and I take a quick defensive step back¡ªuntil my arm is straightened and straining at the elbow, but he doesn¡¯t let me go. A few passersby move quickly away from the scene unfolding before them. ¡°I can¡¯t back out now. He announced it¡ªin front of everyone. I will fucking destroy Don and everyone else the MMAC throws at me. Fuck them all.¡±

    They exchange glances for a few seconds before Darryl retrieves his phone from his pocket and dials a number. Seth tugs me in close again, letting go of my hand and wrapping an arm around my waist. He pulls me away from Darryl and Jackson and we head outside.

    We don¡¯t say a word to each other, but he keeps me held firmly against his side up stairs, through corridors and in elevators¡ªall the way to the hotel room. He lets me go to unlock the door and he pushes it open. My heart hammers in my chest like a jackhammer to concrete and I¡¯m scared to go inside and be alone with him. I don¡¯t think I can handle another night like last night.

    ¡°Please go inside,¡± he mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

    His voice isn¡¯t harsh or commanding¡ªhe seems sad¡ªbroken. I step inside and I don¡¯t look back. I tap as fast as my heels will let me upstairs and into the shower. When I come out all fresh and revived, dressed in sweat pants and a tank top, I go back downstairs. The lights are dim and the bright neon of Vegas become obvious as they filter in through the large window. I hesitate on the last step when I see Seth sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. His back is to me¡ªthe depressions are darkened by shadows of absent light. Swallowing my uncertainty, I push off the last step and move to the couch Seth has dragged over to the window. As I draw nearer to him, my sight catches all of the droplets of water on the surface of his skin. He used the shower downstairs to avoid me and what I have to say about the rematch with Don. I¡¯m not hurt. He needs space and I respect that.

    Before I step around the arm of the couch, I hesitate, and out of pure nervousness, I clear my throat. He lifts his head from his hands and looks over his shoulder at me.

    ¡°I can go¡­¡± I mumble uneasily, shifting my weight.

    Seth flicks his head, gesturing for me to join him and I can¡¯t move quick enough. He slides across the couch to make room and when I sit down, he grabs me, pulling me to him, and with a flick of his hips, he flips me, pressing my back firmly into the couch. He slides his body between my legs and my muscles tense as he drops a heavy portion of his weight on top of me. His full lips press against mine and they melt together in a slow rhythm. When he pulls back, I ask, ¡°Are you mad?¡±

    The bright pinks and yellows outside reflect in his dark eyes. ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°You can go to the gym¡ªyou don¡¯t have to stay with me.¡±

    He shakes his head. ¡°When I look back on the night I proposed to my wife, I don¡¯t want to remember it like this. I want us to be happy and loving for now¡­the rest can wait until tomorrow.¡±

    I slide my fingers over his shoulders and down his arms, savoring the feel of his warm skin under my fingertips. As my hands come up his neck, I see my ring glisten in the light and my breath catches. How easy it is to forget how happy we were tonight before Matthew Somers and the mention of Don Russell destroyed it. Seth asked me to marry him and I said yes¡­I said yes.

    ¡°We can just lie here in silence and appreciate each other¡¯s company,¡± he adds with a soft sigh.

    Seth rests his head on my chest and watches the cars driving down the boulevard. His thumb glides back and forth over my hip, sending pulses of pleasurable energy through my stomach. I let my fingers move smoothly over his shoulder, up his neck, and into his hair. I can feel his muscles are tight and alert. I know he¡¯s playing calm and collected for my sake, to show me he can change, but I don¡¯t want him to change if it means wallowing in his own anger and poisoning himself with stress from the inside out.

    I flex my hips and Seth lifts himself off of me. ¡°Maybe you should lie on the bottom,¡± I suggest. ¡°I can see the news headline now; Fighter Falls Asleep and Crushes Fianc¨¦e Under the Weight of his Body.¡±

    With a heart-stopping chuckle, we shift positions and Seth lies flat on his back with his hands tucked underneath his head. Whoa. If I had a dollar for every perfect muscle I see in his upper body alone I¡¯d be rich¡ªor Seth would be rich¡­because I¡¯d pay him to let me lick them. I slip my legs over his hips and unashamedly run my hands over his stomach, feeling every bump and tremor. I glance at his mouth and he smiles up at me. It¡¯s a genuine smile, one that makes all of my insides feel light and happy. I run the palms of my hands over his chest and onto his shoulders, no longer looking at his face. I focus on relaxing him and making him feel better about tonight. I can feel his intense eyes on me, watching me as I continue to caress him.

    ¡°Your hands feel nice,¡± he mutters almost sleepily.

    ¡°Does it make you feel better?¡±

    Under my fingertips, his muscles relax a fraction. ¡°Much better. I like it when you take care of me.¡±

    I lean forward and plant a soft kiss on his nipple, gaining a small hum of approval. If I¡¯m going to be his wife, I need to learn how to take care of him properly. I need to step up and look after him, the way he deserves to be looked after.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take care of you forever,¡± I whisper.

    Seth doesn¡¯t say anything in return. I¡¯m not sure if he even heard it and that¡¯s okay. I never said it to get a response. I said it because I mean it and it eases the overwhelming bubble of excitement in my chest.

    After a long while, my fingertips are numb and tingly, and I¡¯m unsure where his flesh ends and mine begins. I lie on him now and I rise up and down a fraction of an inch every time he breathes. Forty minutes ago, Seth removed my shirt and watched my breasts as I massaged him. It was thrilling, to say the least, and the urge to coax him into having sex with me was almost overwhelming, but I held my own and kept my cool. Just. If he hadn¡¯t fallen asleep, I¡¯m sure my resistance would have caved. It always does when he¡¯s around. With one last slow, pathetic stroke of his forearms, my hands give up and collapse on his skin. My eyelids are heavy, like they have tiny weights tethered to my eyelashes. I let them close and snuggle even closer into my sleeping Seth.

    Starting tomorrow, he will dive into intense daily training sessions and have little to no time for me. Thankfully, Selena is here and I won¡¯t be totally alone¡­but despite her presence, however, I know Seth¡¯s two upcoming fights are going to linger over me like a dark cloud. I know Seth can take Junior, but I¡¯m worried his emotions are going to get the best of him when he fights Don. If Seth loses to Don, it will break him. I shake the thought from my head. Seth won¡¯t lose. He is the bright center of my universe¡­untouchable. Infallible. He can¡¯t lose.

    Chapter Twenty-One

    Seth

    (Fight Night: Seth Marc vs Junior Moset)

    A plastic chair slaps the concrete wall and I¡¯m brought back to my senses. Anxiety ripples through my body and I clench my fists as it rests in my chest and threatens to suffocate me. Where is she? I sent Darryl up to the hotel room half an hour ago to find her. Olivia wanted to wait until the very last minute to come down. These fighting things still make her nervous and I try my hardest to respect that, but without her here with me now I don¡¯t think I can make it through my warm up. I want to see her calming green eyes looking at me¡ªall caring and worried.

    I flex my fingers and survey my bare fingers. They stick out from the thick material and I turn my hands palm down to assess the gloves. Across the top of my glove¡ªright over the padded knuckles¡ªit reads ¡®MMAC¡¯ in big white letters. I made it. I¡¯m here, ready for my professional debut¡­this fight, win or lose, will be remembered for the rest of my career. The first fights always are.

    Being immortalized an amateur losing my first pro fight isn¡¯t the only thing eating at me, the crowd is, too. Tens of thousands of spectators all sitting and waiting for the main card fight. Junior is the crowd favorite¡ªsomething I¡¯ve known for weeks now. His pro record is nine to one, losing only to disqualification in his first fight by repeatedly grabbing the cage for added support. My professional record is zero both in wins and defeats. They don¡¯t care about my amateur record or that I¡¯ve had twenty-two official fights and haven¡¯t lost a single one. What counts is now. I need to win this fight¡ªand I will¡ªI just need to keep my head clear and in the game. One mistake and Junior can have me in an arm bar, or triangle lock¡ªor even a guillotine. I¡¯ve seen his fights. He knows exactly how to lock the submissions down and getting out of them is going to take more energy than it¡¯s worth.

    The door swings open, drawing my attention. The rest of the team fades out and my sight focuses solely on my woman. When her gaze lands on me, the anxiety in my chest minutely lets up and I sigh a breath of relief. Even back then I couldn¡¯t pinpoint what it is about her that relaxes me so much¡­maybe it¡¯s because she¡¯s always so nervous I take it on myself to make her feel better. My team filters from the room and closes the door behind them. We¡¯ve done this enough times now that they know to leave us alone when she comes to see me. I can¡¯t have my whole team thinking I¡¯m weak. Only she is allowed to see that side of me. I brace my hands on the bench on either side of my open thighs as she strolls right up between them and places her hands half on my shoulders and half on my neck.

    She looks absolutely amazing in a pair of classy black slacks and a stylish white sweater. No mini skirts. No tight tube dresses. Perfect.

    A relaxing hum vibrates from her fingertips and creeps over my skin before seeping into my pores. Unintentionally, I bring my lips closer to hers and I stop myself just as they graze. Her breath hitches before she expels it nervously on my face.

    ¡°Thank you for being here,¡± I mumble, looking deep into her eyes. ¡°I couldn¡¯t do it without you.¡±

    ¡°You were doing just fine before I came along.¡±

    No, I wasn¡¯t. I was ready to throw in the towel, to give up fighting. Darryl knew it and Jackson knew it, too, but when I met Olivia, her passion and her fight ignited a spark in me I thought was long gone. She inspired me¡­and I think that¡¯s why I have to see her before a fight¡­because she gives me the motivation I need.

    ¡°You have no idea,¡± I say, playfully nudging her nose with mine.

    Her fingers snake around the back of my neck and lock together as she pulls my forehead harder against hers.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to win,¡± she says. ¡°You¡¯re not going to win for me, or Darryl, or the MMAC. You¡¯re going to win for yourself because you put in the hard yards to get here.¡±

    There she goes again, always knowing the right things to say.

    ¡°And if I don¡¯t want to win?¡± I ask, teasingly.

    ¡°Then you better lose with a smile on your face.¡±

    I laugh under my breath. Fuck that. I¡¯m not losing to anybody, my pride won¡¯t let me.

    The cold cement of the hallway floor makes my feet tingle as I march down the corridor. My hands clench into fists, unclench, and then clench again while I dance back and forth on the balls of my feet a few times. When I come to a stop behind double doors and after I read the MMAC¡¯s slogan¡ª¡®Be strong. Be smart. Be great.¡¯ I tilt my head to the ceiling with my eyes closed, and blow out a long, slow breath. In both ears, Darryl and Jackson are talking to me¡ªgiving me words of encouragement and helpful tips, but I don''t hear them. My mind is elsewhere, focused on cages and crowds. In no time, the bass of Seth¡¯s intro song starts thumping through the sound system and the door in front of me opens. I flex my muscles from shoulders to thighs and I prowl out of the empty, slanted hallway and into the crowd, doing my best to seem as confident as ever.

    People grab at me and I ignore them, focusing only on the empty, looming cage. I run my tongue over my guard to feel it securely in place as adrenaline shakes my body and boils my blood, sending it at light speed through my veins. I love this. My nerves are electrified, like I¡¯m sitting on the edge of a severe storm, praying not to get hit by the bolts of lightning that strike the ground next to me. As I approach the steps to the cage, a staff member of the MMAC checks my gloves and mouth guard while Darryl reaches around me and unzips my black hoodie. I shrug it off and bound up the stairs and into the cage. The roar of the crowd is so loud it¡¯s deafening, and I¡¯m absolutely floored by the amount of people who have come to see me and Junior fight. Never in a million years would I have thought people would flood an arena to see me fight. I run my bare fingers across the baked vinyl cage, doing a lap of the ring. When I run my hands over a certain part of the cage, I linger for a little while. I turn my head to the left and instantly pick Olivia out of the crowd. She¡¯s right at the front, sitting beautifully with her legs crossed and fingers in her mouth as she nervously chews her nails. She¡¯s focused on the floor as Selena talks in her ear, but when she looks up at me from underneath her thick, long lashes and sees me looking at her while I touch the spot I fucked her two weeks ago, her fingers fall from her mouth and there¡¯s no doubt in my mind her cheeks are heating up. Flashbacks flood me¡ªperfect pink nipples, sleek, wet pussy and swollen lips. I have half a mind to kick everyone out of the arena and drag her back up here.

 Page 38

    She gives me a warning look, like she thinks someone here will know what we did and I smile¡­nobody will ever know what we did. She sticks her finger back into her mouth and I see her engagement ring glisten under the bright lights, the ring that I bought her¡ªthe ring that took me six hours to pick out. How easily I forget we are no longer girlfriend and boyfriend¡ªthat I promised the rest of my life to her¡­and she promised hers in return. To think it all happened right underneath my feet.Advertisement

    I continue my circle of the ring until I¡¯m back in my corner. Normally, I like to show off a little bit for the crowd, but tonight I want them to see that I mean business.

    An unfamiliar song blasts over the speakers and the crowd goes nuts once again. A pang of anticipation courses through me and I turn my head to see Junior Moset thundering down the walkway with a wide smile on his face. He¡¯s used to this. This is his world that I¡¯m entering and I hate that it gives him an edge over me. Junior enters the ring and does his round before settling on the opposite side of the ring.

    ¡°Remember, try to keep it standing. Avoid going to the floor if you can and go for the knock out. It¡¯s your best bet,¡± Jackson calls as the announcer speaks, introducing the referee and the fighters.

    He sounds extremely confident in me, but little does he know, it¡¯s easier said than done. It¡¯s almost impossible to keep a ground fighter standing for the majority of the fight. When things get too fast, they go for the takedown. When they get stung, they go for the takedown. Hell, they even go for the takedown if they miss a hit. I¡¯m not going to be able to keep this standing for long¡­and I hope my ground game is good enough to prevent any devastating submissions.

    Junior and I watch each other from opposite sides of the cage, and when the referee, Marty Quim, steps inside, the noise of the audience lessens. Junior crouches slightly, his nostrils flare out as he breathes heavily. I monitor the way his fists tighten as he raises them up in front of his body and awareness covers me. I know the purpose of every muscle in my body, and I position each one in preparation for what''s to come. This is my element, too, I remind myself. This is my show.

    My life.

    My passion.

    And I will not fucking lose this.

    ¡°Junior, are you ready?¡± Quim shouts and Junior flicks his cocky, dark eyebrows at me.

    ¡°Yes!¡±

    ¡°Seth, are you ready?¡±

    I nod my head, narrowing my eyes at Junior. He¡¯s a good guy, but tonight he¡¯s the only thing standing between me and the respect I deserve¡­which makes him my enemy. The bell rings and we push off from our corners and meet in the middle to touch gloves. As soon as our hands touch, we drop our stances and square off.

    Powerful feelings envelope me and I waste no time in lashing out, swinging full force. It was never in our game plan to throw power punches right off the bat, but I wanted to gauge Junior¡¯s reaction time because once I find my flow, he¡¯s a fucking goner. He takes a couple quick steps back as my fists rain down on him. He brings his hands up to shield his face, but it¡¯s no use. I drop low and slam my knuckles into his ribs, listening to them force the air from his lungs. With every hit I land, I feel myself become more and more relaxed, no longer anxious. And because of that, I find myself moving quicker¡ªmore confidently. Junior is no match for my strikes. He knows it too, and he dives for my legs to avoid my punches. I sprawl, wrapping my arms around his and shoving him off me. I step back as he jumps to his feet and brings his hands back to guard his face. Junior¡¯s brow is furrowed and I know he didn¡¯t expect me to be so aggressive. Rule number one, never underestimate me. Never underestimate my weaknesses because when I use them to fuel my strengths, you better look out. Junior comes in hot with quick jabs to the stomach. I drop my hands to protect my stomach¡ªboth of them¡ªa rookie mistake and he clips me in the mouth. A searing pain splits my lip (in the exact same pace that¡¯s healing from Don¡¯s beating) and I taste blood. Junior backs off as I spit blood onto the canvas.

    ¡°Lucky shot,¡± I growl, bringing my fists back up and advancing on him. As if his impatience is running out, Junior begins to jab at me again from the right. I let two hit me and feign left as the third comes in. He switches his angle, like I expected, and I go right, striking Junior once, twice¡ªno¡ªthree times in the ribs. Junior hunches and I grab his neck, bringing up my knee and driving it right into his chest. I hear the crowd go crazy and I know the quick pace of this fight is driving them insane. Junior counters as I bring my leg down and grabs me by the knee. He hooks his arm around it and twists, causing me to turn at an awkward angle and fall to the mat with a bang. I yank my ankle free and roll quickly, flipping myself up onto the balls of my feet as Junior¡¯s fist flies toward my face. At the last moment, I pivot, but it¡¯s not fast enough and Junior¡¯s knuckle clips the side of my head, sending a loud ring through my ear. I take a few steps back to clear my head and Junior doesn¡¯t waste a second and dives at me almost instantly. He grabs my legs and takes me down. I struggle against him, barely getting anywhere. He¡¯s a heavy bastard, that¡¯s for sure.

    ¡°Don¡¯t get caught!¡± I hear Darryl shout. ¡°Watch your arms!¡±

    I clap my hands together and squeeze them tightly as Junior does his best to work them open and wrap himself around one of them. He moves his body up mine, getting the mount and trapping my arms underneath his weight. I grunt as I flick my hips in an attempt to get him off me, but it fails. I¡¯m in full guard position and I wrap my legs around him to prevent him from standing up. Somehow, he passes my guard and rises up. My whole body tenses as I see him lift his elbow before dropping it down on my chest. A groan releases itself from my throat as he does it again and again, drawing nearer to my face. I unclasp my hands and push against his chest. My chest aches from the force of the elbows he slammed into them and I grit my teeth into the mouth guard. He copies my movements, pushing down on my chest.

    ¡°No, Seth!¡± I hear Jackson yell and I feel Junior shift on me. Oh shit! His leg swings over my face as he twists his body. Shit! He grabs my arm and drops himself backwards, straightening my arm out until it bends in the opposite direction. I clench my jaw as pain shoots up my forearm and into my elbow. Junior pulls harder and I growl out loud.

    ¡°Hold it! Three!¡± I hear Darryl scream. ¡°Two!¡±

    A second later, the bell dings and the pressure subsides. Junior slips away from me and jogs over to his corner. What the fuck? I blink a few times, still lying on the floor, dazed. He almost beat me. I shake my head and climb to my feet. I shake and squeeze my elbow. It feels bruised and tense¡­he almost had me with a goddamn arm bar.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± Darryl says as I drop onto my stool. ¡°The next round is yours.¡±

    Darryl and Jackson are in my face. I try to focus on what they¡¯re saying, but my heart pounds loudly in my ears. That was too fucking close. He almost had me and he would have if the bell hadn¡¯t gone off.

    ¡°Water,¡± I demand and Jackson hands it to me.

    I suck down a mouthful of water and swish it around my dry mouth before swallowing it. Darryl goes over our game plan in detail, but I¡¯m way too worked up to listen. Instinctively, I glance over my shoulder and seek her out. Olivia¡¯s wide green eyes peer at me through the gaps in her fingers. Her long, chocolate hair is messy and disheveled, like she¡¯s run her fingers through it, and even with her hands guarding most of her face, I can tell she¡¯s worried for me and I have to change that. The next round is mine.

    I will not lose. Not today.

    Chapter Twenty-Two

    Olivia

    I suck in a sharp breath but I don''t cry out like I want to. Every cell in my body presses against my skin, urging me out of my chair and towards him. Every atom that I¡¯m composed of demands I protect my fianc¨¦¡­and yet I remain in my seat, silent and obsessed, watching his every muscle spasm, lip twitch, and every clench of his jaw as Junior straightens his arm out. I¡¯m on the edge of my seat, absorbing all of the energy and anxiety inside the massive arena into my tiny body. I¡¯d chew my nails if I hadn¡¯t already chewed them to the bone. C¡¯mon, Seth, tap out. I don¡¯t care if he loses, but I care if he gets hurt. I see Seth¡¯s elbow begin to bend in the other direction and the pain on his face sends a sharp arrow of panic into my chest. Anxious sweat begins to bead on my skin and I rake my fingers through my hair. I witness exactly four more seconds of Seth¡¯s pain before I can¡¯t take it anymore and I shield my face with my hands.

    The bell rings and I peer through my fingers.

    ¡°Holy hell!¡± Selena giggles, practically bouncing in her seat. ¡°That was so fucking close!¡±

    She rocks her bony shoulder into mine and I jerk to the side, ignoring her. Jackson has a stool down in Seth¡¯s corner before the bell stops its annoying chime, but Seth remains on the floor¡ªdazed. Like he can¡¯t believe he¡¯s still in the fight. He shakes it off and climbs to his feet and stalks towards his team before dropping onto his stool. While Darryl talks, Jackson checks his body and hands him a water bottle. Seth takes a quick mouthful of the water and glances over his shoulder at me. I heat up under his gaze and I can¡¯t pinpoint what he¡¯s thinking, exactly. Jackson slaps a bag of ice down on his shoulders and Seth barely flinches at it. I look over at Junior¡¯s team and they seem really happy with the first round¡­there¡¯s no doubt in my mind that he won it. Seth needs to finish this before it goes to the judges. He¡¯s already lost one round.

    The stools are pulled away and the teammates leave the ring.

    Ding.

    Round two begins.

    Anticipation crackles through me, setting my blood alight. I lean my elbows on my knees and press the tips of my fingers to my forehead.

    They circle each other watching, waiting for an opening. Junior is the first to break and lashes out with a hard kick. Seth grabs his ankle and yanks Junior off balance, pulling his leg past his torso and then launching forward and punching him straight in the nose. Blood gushes almost instantly and I suddenly feel under the weather. Dread swirls in my stomach, mixing with the nausea and I sink in to myself. Why do I do this to myself?

    Junior wipes his nose with the back of his glove, but never drops his hand. He swings at Seth, but Seth ducks and lunges toward Junior. He grasps his neck with his left hand and begins delivering a series of devastating punches to Junior¡¯s stomach. Junior attempts to bring his knees up to protect his torso, but fails and Seth drives him back until he¡¯s pressed against the cage. Seth¡¯s eyebrows are drawn together, his lips parted in an aggressive way, exposing his white mouth guard. My eyes begin to sting and are screaming at me to blink, but I don¡¯t. I don¡¯t want to miss a second of this fight.

    With a second wind, Junior drops low and rushes at Seth with a vengeance. His thick, tattooed arms wrap around Seth¡¯s legs and they both hit the canvas with a slap. There¡¯s a flurry of fists and legs before Seth rolls quickly, coming to rest on top of Junior. Junior blocks his head as Seth starts to rain heavy punches and elbows down on him. The referee gets in close, ready to call the fight in Seth¡¯s favor as a result of a TKO at any second. Jackson and Darryl are yelling directions at him and urging him to keep going. The crowd is so loud I can''t make out their exact words, but when I look over at Junior¡¯s corner, I see the look of panic in his team¡¯s eyes. They don¡¯t want an experienced fighter like Junior Moset to lose to an amateur like Seth. I almost smile. They were wrong to ever underestimate my man. Seth is fierce and fast, like a train. When he reaches full speed, he¡¯s unstoppable and you better get out of the way. With terrifying speed, he hits Junior over and over and over again. When Junior blocks his face, Seth drops his fists to his stomach. He hits him with wild abandon, showing no finesse, no rhythm to his strikes. He wants to win and he wants to win in the most devastating way possible. I shiver, glancing away from Seth as he dominates Junior. I don¡¯t think Junior is going to have much of a face after this. Seth¡¯s chest rises and falls rapidly, like he¡¯s run a marathon and a half. It¡¯s splattered with his opponent¡¯s blood and I watch as the crimson dots glisten under the bright lights. Seth draws his arm back and Junior refuses to block it, he lies there breathing heavily, waiting for the ref to call it. Before he strikes Junior one last time, his eyes flick to me and my heart whams against my ribs. His dark eyes linger on me, waiting for me to do something. I realize I¡¯m shaking my head at him¡­because I understand what he wants. He¡¯s asking my permission to hit Junior one more time¡ªa defenseless, injured Junior¡ªand I shake my head because it¡¯s wrong. He¡¯s already given up. With a swift nod, Seth swings a leg over Junior¡¯s head, grabs his arm and falls backward. Junior doesn¡¯t tap out at first, but when Seth flicks his hips, Junior slaps the canvas so hard the spectators in the back can probably hear it.

    The referee calls the fight and the crowd goes mental with cheers and screams. Selena undoubtedly squeals the loudest and pulls me to my feet. Her arms surround me and she shakes me from side to side. I can¡¯t do much with my arms forced down against my sides, so I glance back to the ring. The ring is suddenly filled with press and teammates and reporters. I can¡¯t see Seth at all and I¡¯m probably not going to for a while.

    ¡°We¡¯ll wait for them back in the locker room.¡± Selena smiles, hooking her arm around mine and dragging me from my row.

    I let her lead me because my body is still in shock. What a flip around¡­I bet everyone thought Junior was going to take that one. Not to mention Seth¡­and the look on his face when he was absolutely dominating Junior. Pure hunger. He wanted to win, and he did. He certainly did.

    Selena and I jump as the room door swings open and crashes into the concrete wall. Whoops and cheers fill the otherwise silent room as loads of people fill it to the brim. Selena leaves my side the second Jackson makes himself present, but I decide to linger in the background on the couch. I¡¯m sitting on my hands to stop the excited, anxious energy that still flowed through me. Will I ever get used to this lifestyle? I don¡¯t like feeling like this, like I¡¯m on the edge of a panic attack, but on cloud nine as well.

 Page 39

    ¡°I won.¡± His rough, tired voice hits me and clings to my skin. As a result, goosebumps form. I look up at him from underneath my eyelashes and I unashamedly let my eyes drag up his slim waist and broad shoulders¡ªeven covered in someone else¡¯s blood, he makes liquid pool between my legs.Advertisement

    ¡°I saw.¡± I can¡¯t help the smile that pulls at the corner of my lips.

    ¡°Did you like it?¡±

    I frown. My over-heated body tells me to nod, but my over-caring brain tells me to shake my head. ¡°He started bleeding¡­¡±

    Seth glances down at his blood-speckled body. ¡°I think I know that better than anybody.¡±

    ¡°Did you like it?¡± I ask, slipping across on the couch, subtly inviting him to sit down.

    He drops onto the couch and his gloveless hands reach out to me. They grip my sweater and he pulls me close to his damp body. I grip his hard forearms for stability as my body presses against his. Blood from his skin soaks into the white fabric, but I¡¯m too captivated by his raw power to care. I swallow hard as my gaze falls to his split lip.

    ¡°Do I give you the answer you want, or do I tell you the truth?¡±

    ¡°Always the truth.¡±

    My eyes lock onto his lips and I follow them all the way to my cheek before they disappear into my hair¡ªright by my ear. ¡°I fucking loved it.¡±

    The rumble from his chest vibrates down my spine and into my core, threatening to shake me to my foundations.

    ¡°Why?¡± I whisper back to him.

    ¡°To feel someone break under your control is addicting, to overpower someone who desperately wants to overpower you is thrilling, and to destroy someone who thinks they¡¯re better than you is satisfying.¡±

    I fight the urge to roll my eyes. All of this, everything he puts himself through, is only to prove that he is the best at what he does? Will I ever understand man logic?

    ¡°You do it all to be number one?¡±

    He shrugs. ¡°Well, I sure as hell won¡¯t settle for second best.¡±

    ¡°Whoooo!¡± Jackson hollers, interrupting Seth and I. ¡°We¡¯re going to hit the town hard tonight, ladies and gentlemen. You keen?¡±

    I practically recoil from his words. No way in hell am I going out tonight. I¡¯m done with clubs and alcohol, for good. Well, I¡¯m done with clubs, anyway. Alcohol, I might do a few more times.

    Like at my wedding.

    My wedding!

    I purse my lips against ¡®squeeing¡¯ out loud. I jump, completely pulled from thoughts of my possible wedding dress as Seth slaps his hand down on my thigh and squeezes me.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Do you want to go out?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°I¡¯ve had more than enough¡­excitement¡±¡ªhis eyes flare¡ª¡°for one night.¡±

    Seth looks up at Jackson. ¡°Sorry, man. We¡¯re going straight home.¡±

    Jackson blinks a few times. And then a few times more. ¡°I get that she wants to stay home, but there¡¯s no way in hell I¡¯m going to let you stay home.¡±

    Selena shakes her head at me, all while smiling like I¡¯m the most interesting specimen on the planet.

    ¡°You won your first professional fight, man. Come with me tonight, have some fun and we¡¯ll get back into training tomorrow.¡±

    I nudge Seth¡¯s knee with mine. ¡°Go, have fun. I¡¯ll still be here when you get home.¡±

    His brown eyes roam me and I see the cog wheels in his eyes as he decides his next move. Deep down, I¡¯m secretly hoping he takes Jackson up on his offer. Finishing the book I¡¯m reading and getting a full night¡¯s sleep is exactly what the doctor ordered.

    ¡°Fine.¡± Seth exhales. ¡°I¡¯ll come out with you.¡±

    ¡°Awesome!¡± Jackson whips around on his heel and dives into the madness of the excited teammates and over the other side to Darryl. Selena drops onto the couch next to me.

    ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want to come out?¡±

    I shake my head. ¡°I need sleep.¡±

    She pouts. ¡°We won¡¯t go to any strip clubs.¡±

    ¡°Strip clubs or no strip clubs, I want to shower, read my book, and go to bed.¡±

    Selena rolls her eyes and leans forward on her elbows. ¡°You picked a real badass here, Seth.¡±

    Seth smiles a warm smile, eliciting one in return from me. And out of nowhere, he shoots forward, planting his lips on mine. I wrap my arms around his neck without thought and urge him harder against me.

    Behind me, Selena groans and I feel pressure lift off the chair. ¡°You two are dirty.¡±

    I smile, not only because that¡¯s awfully rich coming from her, but because we are dirty and there¡¯s no one else in the world I¡¯d rather be dirty with. Only Seth. Only the man who helped me put an end to my dead end relationship, supported me during the sudden passing of my father, and took me higher than any rocket ever could. I love him and every dirty array of public affection he gives me, and if that means I¡¯m dirty¡­then I never, ever want to be clean.

    Chapter Twenty-Three

    Seth

    I draw my fourth whiskey and Coke to my lips. I swear each swallow rests not in my stomach, but on my eyelids, making them heavier. I stand at the over-crowded bar, away from Jackson and Selena¡¯s make out session. Now I know how they feel when I attack Olivia in front of them. Still, I¡¯m not going to stop. I kiss Olivia whenever the hell I feel like kissing her and I guess Jackson is the same. A loud eruption of laughter explodes from my table and I glance over my shoulder. Darryl shifts in his chair and tugs on his white button up shirt, as if he¡¯s trying to loosen it. He¡¯s having fun and it¡¯s just as much his and Jackson¡¯s night as it is mine. I turn from the bar and my head spins a little. I smile. I haven¡¯t felt this good in a while and the three shots I took before my whiskeys are just starting to settle in. This whiskey will definitely have to be my last one.

    I walk towards the table, holding my drink low. About ten feet away, I¡¯m stopped in my tracks by a short woman and my eyes automatically zero in on her huge fake tits that protrude out of her tight, red tube dress.

    ¡°Hey, you,¡± she purrs. ¡°Remember me?¡±

    Fuck, she knows who I am, but I¡¯ve never seen her before. I lift my gaze to her bright, cherry red lips and finally a pair of bright blue eyes masked by too much smoky makeup. Her small hands run over my chest and down my biceps, feeling as much of me as she could. Normally, (and by normally I mean before Olivia) I¡¯d probably take this girl home¡ªI¡¯m not an idiot, she¡¯s gorgeous in that fake kind of way. Unfortunately for her, there¡¯s only one pair of thighs I¡¯d like to slide between tonight and every other night for the rest of my life.

    ¡°I was wondering when I was going to run into you again,¡± she adds, squeezing me for extra measure.

    ¡°Uh¡­¡± I chuckle nervously. ¡°Look, Samantha-¡±

    Her drawn on eyebrows pull in close. ¡°Nicole.¡±

    Shit. ¡°Nicole¡­¡±It still doesn¡¯t ring any bells. ¡°Right. Listen, I¡¯m only here for a drink with my friends.¡±

    Her hands glide back up my arms and down my chest before curling around the hem of my jeans. I analyze her for a moment, trying to link her face to her name¡­I can¡¯t. Instead, I¡¯m distracted by the way she looks. There was once a time I was into that whole ¡®porn star¡¯ look¡­I can¡¯t say it does too much for me now. Her index finger sweeps a little too low and I snatch her wrists with my free hand and move them away from my body. Even in the dim club, I see her eyes flare. She likes the challenge. Nicole shrugs out of my grasp and inches closer, making me more frustrated than aroused. I¡¯ve been trying to be a better person for Olivia, in terms of my promiscuity, and right now I feel like I¡¯m doing something wrong. It¡¯s a feeling that twists at my stomach, I hate it and this woman is testing my patience.

    ¡°I¡¯m sure your team can wait¡­come with me. I won¡¯t take up too much of your time. Let me take care of you.¡±

    Nicole rakes her teeth over her bottom lip and I sigh. Not out of defeat, but out of boredom. I¡¯ve had girls of every kind and every shape¡ªmore than I¡¯m willing to admit¡ªand this girl is attractive, but I¡¯m not going to risk my relationship with Olivia for her. Let¡¯s be honest for a second, how good is this girl in bed really if I couldn¡¯t even remember her name or her face?

    ¡°Thanks, but I have a girl at home who takes care of all my needs.¡± With a tight smile, I attempt to step past her, but she sidesteps and blocks me. I clench my glass tighter and expel a gust of air through my nose.

    ¡°Believe me, I can make you forget all about her.¡±

    Nicole¡¯s words strike a chord inside me and I narrow my eyes at her. There¡¯s no doubt in my mind that her over-used mouth can show me a good time. She can probably suck my dick well and have me coming in minutes, but I don¡¯t want it. I don¡¯t want her. Nicole touches me again. Her long fingernails slowly stroking a silver button on my steel grey shirt. ¡°What do you say?¡±

    She really doesn¡¯t want to know what I have to say. I grit my teeth together against a copious amount of bad names and hurtful words. ¡°I say you try your luck elsewhere, sweetheart.¡±

    She steps closer, her body almost pressing against mine. The distinct smell of cigarette being masked by an expensive cherry perfume has my nose twitching. ¡°Sorry, darling. I¡¯m after a ten tonight, nothing less.¡±

    And here I was thinking only men rated women on a scale of one to ten. I lower my head to her ear and as my breath blows over her skin, I hear her breath catch.

    ¡°No, thank you.¡±

    Her hands fall away from me and I¡¯m finally able to push past her. I don¡¯t dare look over my shoulder for fear of inviting her into my personal space again. I saunter over to the table and drop into an empty seat. Darryl and the rest of the team have left, leaving me alone with Selena and Jackson.

    ¡°Who was that?¡± Selena asked.

    I look up at her and she¡¯s trying really hard to be calm, but I can see the anger in her posture. Her arms are crossed tightly across her chest, covering the cut out that exposed the majority of her breasts. I¡¯m sure if this were a manga cartoon, she¡¯d have one of those little exasperated squiggles on her forehead. I smile at the thought.

    ¡°Nobody.¡± I¡¯m not sharing shit with Selena. She talks way too much and Olivia doesn¡¯t need to hear about this. Not because I¡¯ve done anything wrong, but because what happened in the past (if it happened in the past) needs to stay in the past. I can¡¯t confirm nor deny if I had sex with that girl. I don¡¯t remember her face and I know it makes me look like a total asshole¡ªbelieve me¡ªI feel like it, but it is what it is. I won¡¯t take full blame for being a using asshole, though. They let me use them and on most occasions they approached me for sex. I merely took what was offered. Sue me.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t look like nobody to me. You two seemed pretty comfortable.¡±

    Jackson groans. ¡°Selena, let it go. He didn¡¯t do anything wrong.¡±

    Of course, she ignores Jackson¡¯s advice. ¡°And she keeps looking over at you from the bar.¡±

    I draw my cup to my lips and take a long sip. Selena grows more agitated with every second I don¡¯t respond. When she¡¯s fully arched up, I lower my cup and speak.

    ¡°It¡¯s a free country. She can look at me all she likes, and as long as she doesn¡¯t touch, I¡¯m sure Olivia won¡¯t mind.¡± I place my glass on the table. ¡°Like Jackson said, I did nothing wrong. I turned down an invitation for sex, yet you¡¯re looking at me like I had a quickie in the bathroom.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not looking at you like anything. I¡¯m just worried for¡ª¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t be,¡± I interrupt, letting my frustration get the best of me. ¡°Let me worry about Olivia. I look after her better than you ever did.¡±

    Her eyes widen and she takes offense to what I said by scoffing at me. She angles her body towards Jackson, waiting for him to defend her; instead, he looks at her and shrugs his shoulders. With another scoff, Selena flicks her curly blonde hair over her shoulder and sits back in her seat, crossing her legs as tightly as her crossed arms. Jackson leans forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his jean-clad knees and his seedy, drunk gaze rolls onto me.

    ¡°To the bar?¡±

    I nod my head, wanting an excuse to get away from Selena¡¯s condemning glare. She takes a long, hard gulp of her beer before pulling out her cellphone. I contemplate demanding her to tell me what she¡¯s doing, but I let it go. I have done nothing wrong tonight and overreacting will only make it seem like I¡¯m guilty. The only thing I¡¯m guilty of is never wanting to see Olivia hurt or doubt that I¡¯m faithful to her.

    I push off of my chair, abandoning my current drink. At the bar, Jackson hands me another beer and I hesitate for a second before I take it and bring it to my lips. I know I should stop. The more I drink the more I lash out¡­and Selena has already got on my nerves once tonight. I have so much pent up inside me that I want to say to her¡ªthat I want to blame her for¡ªand I don¡¯t think Olivia or Jackson will appreciate it if I let it all out. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s a nice way of calling someone a mess¡­I grin into my beer bottle right before I take a long sip. I can¡¯t wrap my head around Selena. She¡¯s this out of control woman who has no goals in life and only aspires to drag people down with her. I suppose she has to have some other side to her that no one sees. Why else would Jackson stick around? I know for a fact he likes easy going, submissive girls. He likes girls that can break easily and cave at his every whim, and Selena doesn¡¯t seem like that kind of person. She¡¯s too stubborn and bitchy to go along with Jackson¡¯s shit. Then again, who knows who Jackson and Selena really are? They both seem to have lots of hidden shit they keep to themselves. Jackson with his ex-bitch-whore and Selena with her dad¡ªor whatever, her story still remains a mystery to me.

 Page 40

    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about Selena,¡± he tells me. ¡°You know how she is about Olivia.¡± Jackson rolls his eyes and pulls at the blue collar of his shirt.Advertisement

    ¡°For someone who claims to be so protective of her, she sure put Olivia in some shit situations.¡±

    He takes a sip of his beer. ¡°Yeah, but Selena is her best friend. They¡¯re allowed to do stupid shit and make bad decisions. Fuck, we did¡ªwe still do.¡±

    ¡°But Olivia is¡ª¡±

    ¡°Human. I know you love her and you¡¯re getting married and all of that crazy shit, but she¡¯s still human. She¡¯s curious, and impulsive and known to make bad decisions at times, but she has history with Selena. They grew up together and they¡¯re best friends. Don¡¯t belittle Selena because you see her as a threat.¡±

    A threat? I don¡¯t see Selena as a threat, do I? No. Selena is not a threat¡­she¡¯s just trouble. I¡¯d never do anything to force Selena and O apart, but Selena needs to realize that I¡¯m not going to step to the side and let her force Olivia into stupid situations¡ªand she also needs to realize that I¡¯m not like Blade. I appreciate what I have. I know Olivia is one in a million and I wouldn¡¯t fuck that up, not even for all of the cherry-lipped, big breasted women in the world. Trading someone you love for something you lust is like trading a grilled chicken salad for a bag of potato chips. Sure, they taste good while you¡¯re eating them, but when it¡¯s finished, you feel sick and you¡¯re still hungry. Meanwhile, the guy with the chicken salad is satisfied, he feels good, and he¡¯s nourishing his body with real nutrients. Blade took his chicken salad and traded it for a bag of chips because he¡¯s a fucking idiot. Now, I have the salad and I won¡¯t trade it for anything¡ªchips, cake, chocolate or otherwise. If only Selena would stop trying to convince herself that I¡¯m scouting for chips.

    I slam the last of my third¡ªfourth? ¡°Second.¡± I say out loud in an awkward, kind of slurry tone. ¡°Now I remember. This is my second beer.¡±

    Jackson chuckles as my head violently rolls. ¡°Five. You¡¯ve had five beers, mate.¡±

    Either I¡¯m hearing things, or Jackson¡¯s voice is slurred, too. Fuuuuck. I need to go home. Selena appears at Jackson¡¯s side and she wraps an arm around his waist. He leans a lot of his weight on her and she groans under the pressure. ¡°It¡¯s seven beers for the both of you. Time to go.¡±

    Selena stumbles with Jackson across the club floor. I look around¡­the club has wound down and only handfuls of people litter the room instead of throngs. I follow behind the others, proud with how straight I¡¯m walking. In front of Selena and Jackson, Darryl is being carried out by another one of my teammates¡ªAaron, our towel guy. Compared to them, I must look sober and when I think about it, I¡¯m not that drunk, just heavily tipsy.

    I snap my attention to the left as a heavy arm hooks around mine. I glance down, only to see Nicole, hanging off my arm. ¡°Leaving so soon, honey?¡±

    I feel my body sag into itself. How¡¯d I not see this coming? I was hoping she left hours ago.

    ¡°Who¡¯s place, mine or yours?¡±

    I free my arm from hers and stop walking. I¡¯m too tired for this shit now. My eyes are heavy, I can barely keep them open and my head is dangerously close to toppling off my neck.

    ¡°I am going home to my fianc¨¦e, alone.¡±

    She smiles. I¡¯m not going to get out of this, am I? ¡°Seth Marc, settling down. When we met, you didn¡¯t even ask for my name and now you¡¯re settling down.¡± She shakes her head and sighs. ¡°How ironic. Anyway, it¡¯s almost morning and I live the next street over. Go home to the other woman in the morning. She doesn¡¯t have to know.¡±

    In front of, us Selena snaps around, leaving Jackson to keep his balance on his own.

    ¡°Didn¡¯t you hear him? He said he has a fianc¨¦e.¡± The growl in Selena¡¯s voice triggers Jackson and puts him on edge. He sobers and grabs her wrist, holding it tightly. Selena isn¡¯t exactly a ¡®let¡¯s talk it out¡¯ kind of girl, apparently, and I¡¯m way too tired and tipsy to break up a cat fight.

    Nicole smiles. ¡°You say that like it means anything in Vegas.¡± She turns her gaze on me. ¡°Last chance, baby, come home with me.¡±

    Selena steps forward with a grunt, but Jackson pulls her back. ¡°Selena, stop,¡± he orders and she stills in her movements, but her eyes never leave Nicole¡¯s face.

    I have to deal with this, not Selena. I¡¯ve given this woman a few chances to walk away unhurt, but now I have to take matters into my own hands. If she wants a straight out, curt, brutal answer, she¡¯s going to get one.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go home with you,¡± I tell her. ¡°I¡¯m looking at you and I don¡¯t remember a goddamn thing about you. Sure, I could go home with you now, have sex and leave, but I guarantee I¡¯d forget you¡ªagain¡ªby lunch time tomorrow.¡± Her lips part and she narrows her eyes at me in an ugly scowl. ¡°I¡¯d much rather go home to the girl that I love. A girl that could be standing naked in a pitch-black room and I¡¯d still be able to kiss every single freckle in their exact location going off my memory alone.¡± She shifts her posture and I hear Selena snicker under her breath. ¡°You are forgettable because you¡¯re like everyone else and the girl I¡¯m going home to, isn¡¯t.¡±

    Not waiting for a response or a reaction, I walk off, passing Selena and Jackson and ending up outside in the cool desert air. The bouncer slaps my back on the way out and murmurs words of congratulations that I don¡¯t hear. I just want to go home. I¡¯ve spoken to enough people and I¡¯ve done enough interviews for one day. Not to mention all of the interviews and talk shows I have to do the next two weeks leading up to my fight with Don. Selena busts out of the door after me, squealing like a baby pig. I cringe and watch her as she runs towards me and flings her arms around my neck.

    ¡°I believe you.¡± She laughs, squeezing me.

    I pat her back and frown at Jackson, who smiles widely walking out of the club.

    She lets go and steps back. ¡°I believe that you really do love Olivia and all doubts I had are gone.¡±

    ¡°Good, now I can breathe a little easier because this whole marriage thing depended purely on what you thought.¡± I try to keep my face serious, but I fail and smile. Selena rolls her eyes.

    ¡°Thank you,¡± I tell her. ¡°Now let¡¯s go home.¡±

    Right on cue, a taxi pulls up and Aaron drags Darryl¡¯s heavy, alcohol-filled body over to it. I open the door then Aaron stuffs him inside and climbs in after him. I don¡¯t know how, but all four of us managed to fit inside and I think I fell asleep against Selena¡¯s shoulder¡­the next thing I remember is her poking my head with an awkwardly twisted hand and looking at me like I¡¯m meant to be doing something.

    ¡°Open the door,¡± she says. ¡°The other one is broken.¡±

    I glance at Aaron, who holds Darryl as far away from him as he can. Darryl is curled up against the far door with his mouth open as he drools onto his own shoulder. Classy. I laugh at him while Jackson fumbles into his jean pockets for his phone. He opens his camera and takes snapshot of Darryl.

    ¡°I¡¯m saving that for later,¡± Jackson slurs, zooming in on Darryl¡¯s face.

    I open the door and practically fall from the car. I draw myself to full height and I don¡¯t wait for the others as I stumble through the lobby of the MGM and into a random elevator. I don¡¯t pay any attention to my surroundings. My brain is too mushy to absorb any of the details and after twenty minutes of strolling around, I finally make it to my door. I reach into my back pocket and the only thing that touches my fingers is the denim fabric. It¡¯s empty. Shit. I left my key card inside on the coffee table. I bang my head softly against the door¡­What the hell am I going to do? I didn¡¯t plan on waking Olivia up when I came home and I was even going to sleep on the couch. The wood collides with my numb head a few more times as I bang it quietly against the timber. Minutes later, when I look around the hallway for a comfortable spot to fall asleep, the door to our room opens. My eyes drag up her bare legs, over a pink see-through sleep dress thing and settle on two nipples barely hidden by the sheer fabric. The visions soak into my eyes and drips down my insides, pooling right between my legs. I want to peel it off with my teeth.

    ¡°Seth? Where¡¯s your keycard?¡± She yawns, husky from sleep.

    I force my eyes up to her face and she swats a stray strand of chocolate colored hair away from her cheek.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to wake you.¡±

    Stutter. I almost fucking stutter at my wife-to-be because she¡¯s wearing a see-through babydoll. What am I, sixteen?

    ¡°You didn¡¯t mean to wake me? You were banging pretty hard.¡±

    Was I? Maybe I¡¯m drunker than I thought. Forgetting everything at the words banging and hard that fell from her lips, I launch at her and force her back into the room. I kick the door shut as my arms wrap around her waist and I draw her into me. I have her face in my hands and I pull her mouth to mine. The taste of her mouth brings my dick to a painful point of confinement in my jeans. She wraps her arms around my waist, hanging on for dear life as my mouth molds to her. Her touch sends a streak of fire through me as she parts her lips to my kiss and our tongues rush to meet. Just as abruptly as I started it, I break the kiss, holding Olivia¡¯s flustered face inches from my own, drilling her with my stare.

    ¡°Ride me,¡± I breathe, desperate to feel her warmth engulf me. ¡°Make me yours.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re already mine,¡± she points out and I shake my head.

    I want to her to claim me so hard other girls can smell her on me. ¡°You have to prove it over and over for the rest of our lives. I want to be reminded. Every time I forget, claim me back, just like I would for you.¡±

    She gulps deep, slow breaths and the seconds begin to feel like small eternities. Without an answer, she slowly, deliberately, rises up on tip-toe to capture my lips. A low groan comes from deep in my throat, and my hands touch her everywhere at once, popping the dainty buttons on her babydoll, freeing her breasts from the fabric, lifting the dress over my hips and tearing her flimsy underwear from her body. How many panties do I have to go through before she gets the picture? Maybe I should put up a sign. ¡®This house is a panty free zone.¡¯

    Olivia yanks my shirt open, destroying the buttons on my clothes for a change. The heavy buttons drop to the floor with little plops as her fingertips lightly tease the hot skin of my stomach, my hips, and then skilfully divesting my belt, and opening my button fly.

    My mouth joins my hands in the endeavor to touch every inch of her skin and a violent shudder tears through her body .My mouth is at her neck, her lips¡ªher eyelids in a heart beat, and I grip her elbows and draw her back with me, until my calves hit the couch and I fall into the seat, dragging her down onto my lap. Olivia¡¯s legs straddle me, her warm strong thighs above mine as our kisses grow wild and bruising. My hands engulf her breasts and the feel of her smooth, milky skin causes a light layer of goosebumps to erupt over me. I lay kisses down her throat to the swell of her breasts. Above me, I can feel the hot, silky smoothness of her center brushing against my shaft. The tip of my dick is wet with pre-cum and Olivia raises herself up slightly, maneuvering her opening over my crystal-hard erection. As the warmth of her creases graze my eager tip, our frenzied movements halt and we freeze, both caught in the other¡¯s gaze. She looks at me differently than she ever has before¡­there¡¯s no soft, gentle look to her, only the fierce arousal her lust-filled lids revealed and I¡¯m certain I¡¯m mimicking it. My hands grip her hips and I harshly thrust up, forcing Olivia to plunge down. She lets out a strangled moan and I cup the back of her head, fastening my mouth over hers to swallow the sounds of pleasure she¡¯s making. She feels amazing, so tight and ready for me, that I have to be careful not to come right now.

    ¡°Ride me,¡± I demand, stilling my hips and letting her take control.

    She gasps and her breath is steamy as it skirts across my jaw. Her walls flutter and clench around me.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± I moan, letting my head roll back against the couch. ¡°Squeeze me again.¡± Her legs twitch around me as her pussy clenches and she rises up and sinks back down on me.

    Squeeze, relax, Squeeze, relax. Heat coils in my stomach and rolls through my body in perfectly timed waves. I grip her hips harder, she knows just how to bring me over the edge, how to use her body to make me come for her¡ªand she gets better at it every time we fuck. Olivia begins to lose her rhythm, as her walls tighten and she draws nearer to orgasm. I love it. I love that I have the power to make her lose control.

    ¡°Are you going to come?¡± I ask and she bites down on her bottom lip, nodding profusely.

    ¡°So fucking hard,¡± she squeezes out.

    I push her off of me, laying her on her back on the couch. Her legs surround my waist and she pushes herself up on her elbows to get closer to my mouth. Her wetness flows on my cock and I slip in and out with ease. Olivia makes a high moaning noise in the base of her throat and against my lips before she drops against the couch, arching her back.

    ¡°Seth,¡± she gasps in warning. ¡°Seth¡­Seth¡­¡± My name comes out in heavy pants and not a second later, her pussy clamps down on my thick cock. I pump her harder and faster as everything tightens inside me. The pressure in my groin builds up to absurdly high levels and my head fills with white noise as I reach my limit and sail over the edge, groaning and flooding her with hot, sticky fluid. My arms tremble under my weight as I hold myself above her and I give in, lowering myself onto her chest. Olivia wraps her tired arms around me and she kisses my damp forehead. I angle my head down to hers and she slowly lifts her mouth to meet mine. She explores my mouth lazily with her lips and tongue, and I threaten to fall asleep while she does it.

 Page 41

    ¡°I love you,¡± I mutter, pulling away.Advertisement

    She lets her fingers trail down the side of my neck. ¡°I love you, too.¡±

    I¡¯m proud of myself for not being as rough with her as my body and my mind wanted to be. I close my eyes, completely at peace. This is the most peace I will feel until after I defeat Don. The next two weeks are going to fly by in a blur. They¡¯ll bring me nothing new, but after the fight, my world will change¡ªfor better or for worse¡­

    And I¡¯m praying to God¡ªor whoever is fucking listening¡ªthat Don is finally pushed out of my life.

    Chapter Twenty-Four

    Olivia

    Four weeks. I¡¯ve been in Vegas four weeks and yet, I feel like I¡¯ve only been here a couple of days. Everything has gone so fast, it¡¯s like I blinked and whole days are missing. Nothing big has happened over the course of the four weeks, besides Seth proposing to me and winning his first professional fight. This fight, the one with Don tonight, is the first time in MMAC history that a professional MMA fighter will fight an amateur fighter in an arena of this scale. Mandalay Bay¡­I glance around the large arena. It seats twelve thousand people and I¡¯m sure every seat is taken to watch the rematch between the two rivals. The air is heavy with anticipation. I can hear the laughs and giggles of spectators in my row. It crackles along the seats and vibrates my body. I¡¯m not excited¡ªnot like everyone else is. There¡¯s a flush of heat that pulses through me with every bout of nausea and my chest tightens anxiously.

    Selena sticks a bag of chips under my nose and I recoil away from it with a shake of my head. The thought of eating right now churns my already violent stomach. The chair next to me shakes as a large man drops himself down next to me. I¡¯ve never seen him before, but he¡¯s wearing a black shirt that reads ¡®DON¡¯ and I decide, rather quickly, that I don¡¯t like him. Anyone who would root for someone like Don is an idiot. I look down at my own shirt and smirk. I¡¯m happy I packed my ¡®SETH¡¯ shirt. I haven¡¯t worn it since his first fight in Portland, Maine and I figured he¡¯ll like seeing it on me again. It might ease some of his anxiety, considering I couldn¡¯t see him before this fight.

    Darryl wants Seth to be wound up and on edge for this fight. Don¡¯t ask me why, I have no idea. None of them share any of their thoughts about the fights with me, which I didn¡¯t particularly mind, until tonight. Seth contested Darryl, refusing to leave his locker room until I came in, but Darryl still sent me away. He knows Seth won¡¯t forfeit a match with Don Russell and he wanted to ¡®kick it old school,¡¯ having Seth wind down with boxing bags and skipping ropes¡­in order to warm up before the fight. If that makes sense¡­it doesn¡¯t really make much sense to me, but I went along with it, regardless. I zone out as the announcer beings to speak, but the second a familiar beat begins to play, my body forces me to tune back in.

    My blood bubbles and pulses through my body to the beat of the music and I subtly squeeze my sweaty palms together. I eagerly scan the crowd, waiting for Seth to appear and every second his song plays and I don¡¯t see his fierce figure storming out here, the more my excitement melts into worry. Then, I hear the roar of the crowd as everyone jumps to their feet, sending my nerves reeling and my heart pounding. Here he comes.

    The cheers grow nearer, the closer he gets to the stage and I can¡¯t see him over the shaking, yelling bodies over the other spectators. I see the top of his black hoodie first and as he rounds the corner, his entire glorious body comes into view. His mouthpiece forces his lips to protrude, giving him a darker edge¡ªnot that he needs it.

    His eyes scan over my row and my lips part as heavy breaths escape me. When his stare fall onto me, I cease to breathe.

    With a twitch of his lips, he turns from me and shrugs out of his hoodie. Jackson throws it over his own shoulder and slaps him on the back as he bounds up the stairs and into the cage. My lungs ache and I release the breath I was holding as Seth does his usual circle of the ring, bouncing on the tips of his toes and shaking his wrists. There¡¯s no cockiness to his movements, he moves with absolute purpose. Tonight isn¡¯t a game. Tonight is Seth¡¯s one chance to remove Don from his life¡ªfrom our life.

    Seth¡¯s music cuts off and the announcer calls out Don¡¯s weight, reach, and height before dragging out his name. A loud, metal song blast through the speakers and I cringe. So much anger and hate this guy has. I shake my head. The crowd cheers and claps, but the intensity of it isn¡¯t like it was with Seth. The crowd respects Seth. Most of them follow his career and witnessed him beat his experienced opponent two weeks ago. Don tears around the corner, topless and eager. He¡¯s determined to take back everything Seth took from him. Don¡¯s eyes flick onto me and I scowl as he winks, puckering his lips at me over his mouthpiece.

    ¡°Fucking hell.¡± Selena chuckles under her breath. ¡°That guy has a death wish.¡±

    Seth sees Don look at me and I see his fingers clenching at his sides. He rolls his neck over his shoulders and as Don bounds up the stairs and into the ring, Seth steps forward, getting right in his face. My heart races as the crowd goes berserk, fueling the already tense relationship between the two fighters. The referee is on them immediately, ordering them to their corners. As they separate, the crowd sighs in bitter disappointment.

    ¡°There¡¯s a lot of animosity in the cage tonight, ladies and gentlemen¡ªcan you feel it?¡±

    The crowd explodes with cheers and applause. They can¡¯t wait a second longer for the fight to start. They want bloodshed and they want it now. The camera crew and the announcer leave the cage and I start chewing my fingernails. If only Dad was here right now¡­he¡¯d know the right thing to say to ease me into this fight. I need him to assure me that Seth is going to win. I need to see the excitement on his face when the bell dings and Seth gets the first punch.

    ¡°Don¡¯s got this,¡± the large guy next to me mutters. I turn my head to look at him and he smirks at me.

    ¡°If you think so.¡±

    His bright blue eyes flare. ¡°I know so.¡±

    I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to the cage. I really hope Seth wins now so I can rub it into the stranger¡¯s big, fat face.

    The referee calls the two fighters to the center of the ring. Each referee is different. Some prefer them to touch gloves before the bell rings, others prefer them to touch after the bell rings. Either way, the fight cannot commence until they touch gloves.

    Don and Seth meet in the middle. I see the referee¡¯s lips move, undoubtedly telling them to touch gloves. Neither fighter moves. There¡¯s a silent war going on between them and the crowd watches in silence¡­waiting for war to break out.

    I swear I can hear the rapid heartbeat of every spectator, mine included, and a crackle of excitement flows over us as Don extends his hand first. Seth smacks it away and a unanimous sharp intake of air is heard throughout the arena. The referee steps between them, sending them back to their corner. He points at each and they nod their heads. Then, the bell rings and my vision wavers with the ringing. I take a long, slow breath and close my eyes in an attempt to calm myself. Olly, relax. It¡¯s just a fight, I tell myself, pretending it¡¯s Dad¡¯s voice. Nobody is going to die.

    The thought makes me feel better and I open my eyes to see Seth coming in quickly, ducking and dodging Don¡¯s swings and punching him wherever he can. With every fist that connects, the crowd gasps and cheers. I chew my bottom lip, counting down the seconds of the round. Don throws a counter punch, going for a quick left jab and to everyone¡¯s surprise, Seth dodges the punch, responding with his own left jab, followed by a quick right uppercut to Don¡¯s jaw. You can tell Seth is in the game¡ªall of his movements are planned and precise. It¡¯s almost like he knows Don¡¯s moves in advance. Seth is absolutely dominating this round and despite how much I don¡¯t like watching people fight¡­I know I¡¯ll enjoy watching Don fall.

    Hit after hit they exchange, neither of them growing tired of smacking the other. Two minutes into the round, when both Don and Seth are bleeding, Don takes the plunge and dives at Seth and the two become a swamp of flesh as they roll around, trying to get the drop on the other. I feel my hands creep up my neck and over my mouth as they each struggle to dominate the other. As the round draws to a close, Seth gets the upper hand. He straddles Don, pushing down on his chest. Seth drops an elbow on his face and I gasp, feeling the blood drain from my face as Don¡¯s own blood pours from his eye. I hate Don, everyone knows that, but I still can¡¯t enjoy watching him suffer like this. It¡¯s not okay. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and cringe as Seth drops another and another, splitting Don¡¯s brow wider. There¡¯s so much blood, but the ref doesn¡¯t call the fight.

    I feel Selena lean into me. ¡°I¡¯m going to the bathroom and I¡¯ll probably miss the rest of the fight, so I¡¯ll meet you in the locker room after Seth wins.¡± I nod my head, sparing a glance in her direction. She winks at me and the big guy beside me chuckles under his breath. I peer slyly at him, but he gives no indication that he heard what Selena said, so I turn my attention back to the fight. Seth has this in the bag, Don¡¯s face is almost purple, but he refuses to tap out. Seth chokes Don harder with his own arm and the crowd goes mental, cheering and begging to kill Don. I bounce my legs and tap my fingers against my jeans. It¡¯s the only way I can express my anxiety and excitement without jumping up and down and actually looking like I support the violent sport.

    I see Don¡¯s resolve finally give way and his fingers twitch toward Seth¡¯s arm. This is it! My heart levitates in my chest, hovering dangerously close to my throat and threatening to fly up and out. Seth deserves this. He deserves this win over Don. As I shift in my seat, I feel the unmistakable pressure of a large hand sliding over the top of my thigh. I jump up and away from the guy next to me.

    ¡°What the¡ª¡± He follows, grabbing at me and pulling me into him. He pins my arms to my side and holds me against his body. I struggle against him and get nowhere. No one steps in to help me and I realize it¡¯s because we look like we¡¯re a couple hugging. What the hell?

    ¡°Let me go!¡± I shout, but no one hears me over the roar of the crowd.

    I look at Darryl and Jackson, but they¡¯re too consumed in the fight to pay me any attention. Is this seriously happening? Damn, Selena. I wish she never went to the toilet. Out of panic, I look to Seth and I startle when I see his eyes on me. My heart beats in my chest as he lets Don¡¯s arm go.

    ¡°No!¡± I shout, at the top of my lungs for the first time ever. ¡°What are you doing? Get the tap out and then help me!¡±

    Without a second to catch his breath, Don shoots to his feet and takes Seth down. There¡¯s a fumble of arms and legs before Don straightens Seth¡¯s arm out.

    ¡°No!¡± The whole crowd is yelling with me now and all I can feel is the vibrating laughter of the asshole holding me. Tears well in my eyes as Seth¡¯s face becomes strained and his elbow begins to bend in the opposite direction. He won¡¯t tap out. He¡¯d rather Don break his arm than submit to him and admit Don is stronger. Don is the weakest person I¡¯ve ever met. He¡¯s sneaky, arrogant and asshole-ish. He knew Seth would beat him¡­he planned this. He planned to distract Seth, knowing he could never beat him. And it worked¡­worst of all, it fucking worked.

    Seth

    I have his own arm around his neck. Nothing is more embarrassing than choking yourself out in a fight. All of this is being recorded and I hope it haunts him for the rest of his life.

    ¡°Your girl.¡± Don chuckles, his voice barely audible.

    I frown at him and pull his arm tighter. He tries to laugh and uses his free hand to point to something outside the cage. Out of curiosity, I look up.

    Through the black metal cage I see her. My blood begins to boil at the way the huge brute holds her. I recognize him immediately as one of the large guys that jumped me outside my gym a while ago. I see his white knuckles and fingers as he presses them into her flesh. He¡¯s a dead man. Out of nowhere, my back slaps against the canvas as Don throws himself on me. I try to fight him off and get out from under him. This isn¡¯t about the fight anymore. I don¡¯t want to kick the shit out of Don, at least, not as badly as I want to kill the man holding my woman. Don wraps a leg over my chest and yanks on my arm, straightening it out over his hips and pulling downwards. Pain shoots from my elbow, radiating through my body and making me cringe. Shit. Fuck! He has me in an arm bar¡ªa fucking arm bar!

    I will not tap out.

    Not to Don-fucking-Russell.

    I angle my head and peer through the cage¡¯s wires. Color has drained from Olivia¡¯s face and even from here I can see the tears welled up in her eyes.

    She¡¯s calling out to me, but I can¡¯t hear it under the protest of the crowd. I feel two pops in my elbow and I cringe as Don straightens it further. My heart slams into my lungs and my whole body is taut, fighting against Don¡¯s strength. I don¡¯t take my eyes off Olivia, who is desperately begging me to tap. I can¡¯t.

    I can¡¯t tap¡­

    I¡¯m prepared to let him break my arm.

    Then, I see the one thing I never want to see flash over Olivia¡¯s countenance¡ªdisappointment. My heart dips, deflating into nothing as my stomach churns. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m about to do this. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m about to do what I told myself I¡¯d never do. I grit my teeth against my pride and without a second thought I slap my hand down onto the canvas.

    The bell rings.

    The pressure on my arm is released.

    ¡­ and I¡¯ve lost the fight to Don Russell.

    Don¡­fucking¡­Russell.

    Don leaps up and thrusts his arms in the air.

 Page 42

    There¡¯s no time to let the feeling of failure settle in before I jump to my feet and push past a crowd trying to make their way into the cage for photos and interviews.Advertisement

    ¡°Don set this whole fucking thing up!¡± I snap at Darryl as I pass him.

    My eyes are on him, the guy that has my girl tightly in his grasp. I push past a few camera guys at the bottom of the stairs, shoving one a little too hard and knocking him on his ass. From my peripherals, I see Jackson talking to me¡ªyelling at me¡ªbut I don¡¯t stop. The brute lets her go as I approach and he cleverly hides behind Olivia, knowing the rows are two small for me to get to him without hurting her.

    ¡°You¡¯re going to put your hands on my girl?¡± I shout and a few people sitting flee from their seats. Olivia races forward and plants her hands on my stomach in an effort to hold me back, but I continue to walk toward him without struggle.

    ¡°Seth, don¡¯t. It¡¯s not worth it, don¡¯t do it,¡± she begs, tears still fresh in her eyes.

    More of the crowd flees, afraid to get hurt in the crossfire.

    The big guy takes a step back as security guards swarm in to protect him from me. They circle us, pulling us back and out toward the rooms. Olivia clings to me as I push against the guards, but there¡¯s too many of them. As I peer over one of their shoulders I see Jackson swing hard and connect with the brute-asshole¡¯s face. He goes down hard and Jackson is crushed under the bodies of two large security guards. Over the speakers, I hear Matt Somers introduce Don as a new contender in the MMAC. After that, all I see is red.

    The security guards throw us into my locker room and shut the door. My entire team buzzes with discussion on the fight and how the ref should have called it when I was smashing Don with my elbows. It doesn¡¯t matter. It doesn¡¯t matter that Don set me up. I fucking lost. For the first time in my life, I lost a goddamn fight and it was to Don Russell. The thought sinks to my stomach like a rock and I growl as Olivia cuts my gloves off. When my hands are free, I push off the bench, grab the nearest chair, and throw it across the room. The whole team falls silent and beside me I hear Olivia gulp.

    ¡°Get out!¡± I demand, not wanting any sympathetic looks from them. I feel shit enough. They open the door and the security guards let them out. Olivia doesn¡¯t follow, even though I wanted her to.

    ¡°If you¡¯re going to look at me like that, you can leave, too,¡± I tell her, feeling my eyes narrow.

    She averts her gaze, dropping it to the floor and fidgeting nervously with her fingers. ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault, he played you,¡± she says to me, inching closer.

    ¡°I still lost. Regardless of anything, I got distracted and I lost the fight. Now, he¡¯s in the same league as me. Now, I¡¯ll see him everywhere and he will look at me with that smug face and I just can¡¯t¡ªughhh!¡± I lash out and punch the brick wall.

    Pain crepitates through my hand and I like it. It takes the pressure of my chest.

    Olivia

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I tell him, my throat becoming thick with emotion as he hits the brick wall again. I cringe as my hand aches in sympathy. He whips around and I take a defensive step back.

    ¡°It¡¯s not okay!¡± he shouts, kicking a stray plastic chair halfway across the room. I jump as it collides with the concrete wall and a loud slap echoes around us. ¡°What about this entire situation is okay? Are you okay with Don being in the MMAC?¡± He steps closer, his eyes flaring violently and I shake my head. ¡°Are you okay with him breathing down your neck at events just to spite me?¡± Seth grips my arms and pulls me into him. I shake my head again. ¡°Are you okay with him touching you just to get a rise out of me?¡±

    I swallow hard as my knees shake. ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°Then fill me in. Which part of this is okay?¡±

    I blink rapidly as a hot tear rolls down my cheek. ¡°None of it.¡±

    He lets me go and confirms my words. ¡°None of it. So don¡¯t fucking tell me it¡¯s okay. I¡¯m not a child. I don¡¯t need to be reassured with lies.¡±

    He reaches for his hoodie on the bench and shrugs it on. He heads for the exit, grabs a cap with the MMAC logo on it off the hook and opens the door. The security guards arch up at Seth¡¯s appearance.

    ¡°Where are you going?¡± I shout.

    ¡°Out.¡± He slams the door, leaving me alone in the room. I stare at the white door, confused and hurt. My chest is tight and I feel like I¡¯m wearing a corset four sizes too small. Does he blame me? Is this my fault? The door swings open as I sink to my knees on the floor. Darryl and Selena step inside. Instantly, Selena moves to my side and places a comforting arm around my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her waist and cry freely into her shoulder.

    ¡°O?¡± she mumbles sympathetically.

    I drop my head as the tears flow harder.

    ¡°I¡¯ll go find him,¡± Darryl mutters, closing the door.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to¡­¡± I sniffle and Selena pulls me close. ¡°It wasn¡¯t my fault.¡±

    ¡°I know, honey. Seth¡¯s just mad. He¡¯ll be okay once this all wears off.¡±

    I shake my head. She didn¡¯t see his eyes¡ªshe didn¡¯t see how dark they were. There was no love on his face, only pure hate. She rocks me slowly as my mascara-darkened tears fall onto her pretty white dress.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get you home and when Seth comes back, he¡¯ll be calmer and you two can talk.¡±

    I peer up at her, feeling like a small child. ¡°You think so?¡±

    She smiles, but even I can see her uncertainty. ¡°Yeah.¡±

    Selena drags me to my feet and I use the bottom of my black shirt to wipe my face. She keeps a comforting arm around me as she escorts me from the room. As soon as we¡¯re in the hallway, people have their microphones and cameras in my face. Lights are going off, questions are being thrown at me and an overwhelming lump forces its way into my throat again.

    ¡°Piss off, vultures,.¡± Selena growls, pushing me through the noisy crowd.

    I wonder if Seth had to deal with them on his way out or if he just missed them. They all seem to be unscathed, so one can assume they were lucky enough to avoid him.

    Selena drops me home and then heads back to the arena to find Jackson. No one has seen him since he hit the guy that grabbed me and we don¡¯t know if he¡¯s being held in a security room somewhere or in jail¡ªhe could be anywhere.

    I pace the hallway outside our room for an eternity and every time the elevator sounds off, anticipation and fear washes over me¡ªonly to be replaced by utter disappointment. I receive a text from Selena saying Jackson is okay and they¡¯re back in their room. Two down and two to go. After my second hour of pacing, I re-enter the room and have a shower. I do everything in an absent-minded daze, from undressing, to washing myself and climbing into a cold bed¡ªall of it¡ªI do without any real knowledge. The only thing I can think of is Seth and what he¡¯s doing, and Don and what he did. He didn¡¯t win the right to be in the MMAC, he stole it. I hear the door downstairs shut and I¡¯m jerked from my thoughts. My heart breaks through my lungs and slams into my ribs as I peel the blankets back and slide out of bed. I put my Seth shirt back on and head down the stairs. The lights are off, it¡¯s dark, and if it weren¡¯t for the bright neon of Vegas that shine through the window, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to see a damn thing¡ªincluding Seth, who has dropped onto the couch. I stroll over to him and my eyes zero in on his chest, it rises and falls in an even pant and my body almost sags in relief.

    ¡°I lost, O.¡± He sighs, leaning his elbows on his knees. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±

    Sorry? I drop to my knees in front of him and run my hands up his thighs. ¡°You have nothing to be sorry for.¡±

    I hear his breathing become uneven and my body tenses. Is he crying? I can¡¯t tell. If he is, he¡¯s doing a good job at concealing it from me.

    ¡°I wanted to win so bad¡­but I fucked it up.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± I say with more aggression this time. ¡°You did nothing wrong. You were perfect. Don played you.¡±

    ¡°And I let him¡­I let him play me.¡±

    I hear Seth sniffle and he pulls away from me, leaning his head on the back of the couch. He is crying¡­and he doesn¡¯t have to shield it from me, I won¡¯t hold it against him. In my world, only real men cry. He pinches the bridge of his nose and clears his throat, forcing himself to stop.

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to do this anymore. Fighting, I mean. I¡¯m done.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re done, just like that?¡±

    He doesn¡¯t respond.

    ¡°You beat Don months ago, did he quit? You beat world wrestling champion Junior Moset two weeks ago, do you think he quit?¡± Still nothing. ¡°No. He¡¯s scheduled to fight another opponent in two weeks. So you lost, big deal. You showed everyone that you¡¯re human, and wins don¡¯t stand out as much as comebacks do. Do you think people will be talking about Seth¡¯s Marc¡¯s loss? No, they¡¯ll be talking about Don Russell¡¯s comeback¡ªhis revenge¡ªand when you attend the press conference tomorrow morning, you will promise them an epic comeback. You will promise to deliver your fans Don¡¯s head on a silver-fucking-platter, not disappoint them by quitting because it got too hard.¡±

    He looks down at me. ¡°Is that what you want me to do? To get revenge on him?¡±

    ¡°I want more than revenge, Seth. I want you to humiliate him. I want you to beat him so bad he gets a nervous twitch every time he sees a cage.¡±

    Seth¡¯s nods slowly, letting my words sink in. ¡°Then that¡¯s exactly what I¡¯ll do.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll be back,¡± Seth tells the cameras. ¡°In four months I¡¯ll be back to put him in his place, but first, I¡¯m going to go home, marry my girl, and take her somewhere nice.¡± I hear the ring girls beside me sigh and I bite back a smile. ¡°And when I get back, I¡¯m going to hurt Don beyond the point of redemption. He¡¯ll be so embarrassed by the beat down I put on him, he¡¯ll leave the MMAC for good. That I promise you.¡±

    Seth winks at me, the small cut on his eyebrow bowing with it and I smile widely in response.

    ¡°You heard it, ladies and gentlemen,¡± Matt Somers announces with a wry smile. ¡°The third and final fight between Seth Marc and Don Russell will be settled in the cage on July sixteenth.¡±

    And just like that, Matt forces Don back into Seth¡¯s life and the drama between the two starts all over again, only this time, Seth is out for blood.

    Epilogue

    Seth

    ¡°Will you keep still?¡± Mum scolds me, fussing with my blue tie and making sure it laid the proper way under my collar and waistcoat.

    ¡°What do you want me to do?¡± I groan. ¡°I¡¯m nervous.¡±

    I¡¯m more than capable of dressing myself, but I let Mom do it, knowing that it makes her feel good to fuss over me, like a real mother would.

    ¡°You¡¯re marrying the love of your life. You should be excited, not nervous.¡±

    She reaches around me and pulls my jacket off its coat hanger. Mom holds it open for me and I slip my arms into it, shrugging it on over my shoulders.

    ¡°What, I can¡¯t be both?¡± I ask and she smooths the palms of her hands over my shoulders and rolls her eyes. I adjust my jacket, making sure it sits comfortably on me as she reaches for the boutonniere of some white flower and pins it to my lapel.

    ¡°Why do I have to wear flowers? I¡¯m not the bride.¡±

    From the couch next to me, Jackson chuckles. ¡°You¡¯ve complained so much this morning I¡¯m really questioning who exactly the bride is today.¡±

    Now it¡¯s my turn to roll my eyes. ¡°Hilarious.¡±

    ¡°You wear it to match her, and it¡¯s not just a flower, it¡¯s a phalaenopsis orchid blossom, and it just so happens to be Olivia¡¯s mother¡¯s favorite flower so watch what you say about it around her. That woman can be very¡ª¡±

    ¡°Intense,¡± I answer.

    ¡°Controlling,¡± Jackson adds and we both chuckle.

    ¡°Are we talking about Olivia¡¯s mom?¡± Maddi asks, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. How did she know we were talking about Olivia¡¯s mother? Scratch that, how nice of her to make it. I haven¡¯t seen her since I gave her money to stop stripping¡ªtwo months ago. I never received an RSVP back from her¡ªnot even a text to say congratulations.

    ¡°You¡¯re alive,¡± I deadpan.

    ¡°Yeah, sorry, I kind of dropped off the face of the Earth for a while. I¡¯m back now, though. You didn¡¯t think I¡¯d miss your wedding, did you?¡±

    ¡°Actually, I did.¡±

    ¡°Never fear, brother.¡± She laughs, grabbing a fistful of her long, pink dress and walking over to the couch. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t miss it for the world.¡± She drops in next to Jackson. ¡°It¡¯s not every day you witness the impossible.¡±

    Jackson snickers and I narrow my eyes at them.

    ¡°Enough, the pair of you. This is Seth¡¯s big day and we should be as supportive as we can.¡± Mom finishes pinning in the orchid and takes a step back. Her floor length red gown sways around her feet and tears well in her eyes as she clasps her hands over her chest. ¡°Perfect.¡± She smiles up at me. ¡°You look so handsome.¡±

    ¡°Gorgeous,¡± Jackson snorts, nudging my sister. ¡°I can hardly contain myself.¡±

    I ignore them and their snickering. There¡¯s a knock at the door and Darryl pops his head inside.

    ¡°All of the guests are here and Olivia is ready. Are you?¡±

    Another bout of nervousness twists my stomach, but I nod my head despite it. He pushes the door open wider and I exit through it. I stroll eagerly down a hallway and out a small door, into the main room of the large church. Lively chatter erupts on my entrance, followed closely by Mom and Maddi. They take their seats in the front row and hold each other¡¯s hands like they¡¯ve never had a disagreement in their lives. It¡¯s nice to see. It¡¯s nice to see my family with some semblance of love and normality after the craziness of Dad¡¯s death.

 Page 43

    Jackson and Darryl will come in with the bridal party. Olivia and I chose two people each to be up here with us and we figured we¡¯d choose the people that have been with us since the beginning¡ªSelena, Darryl and Jackson. I know that leaves us uneven, so I did something secretive to level it out. The color Olivia chose for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to wear is a very nice pearly grey broken up by a dark navy blue. So, I had a tailor make a tuxedo out of the same material as Selena¡¯s bridesmaid dress. And then I contacted Olivia¡¯s brother, Chase. Surprisingly, he was more than happy to be one of Olivia¡¯s bridesmaids. She doesn¡¯t know I did that for her and as far as she¡¯s concerned, her brother is too busy to make it back home for our wedding. I can¡¯t wait to see her face and I hope Selena catches it all on camera like I asked.Advertisement

    A second later, the piano begins to play, cutting into my thoughts. The wedding is beginning¡­my wedding is beginning. My palms becomes slick with sweat and I rub my fingers against them, my eyes never leaving the open doors at the back of the room. Selena steps up to the door in her beautiful gown and waits as both Darryl and Jackson take her elbows.

    I smile, knowing very well that my plan has worked. Chase is here and he¡¯s going to walk his sister down the aisle because Rick isn¡¯t here to do it. And here she was thinking she was going to have to walk alone. If Chase couldn¡¯t make it, I was going to walk her my damn self and hand her over to me on my own. I smile again at my own ridiculousness. I just want to make her happy.

    Two little girls in poufy white dresses step out of the door as Selena, Jackson and Darryl reach the altar and join me on the top of the stairs. The adorable little girls (Olivia¡¯s cousin¡¯s kids) coat the aisle in beautiful white, grey, and blue flowers. I watch them only for a few seconds before my eyes flit back to the double doors. She¡¯s next. She¡¯s coming.

    I don¡¯t know how this happened. I don¡¯t know how I got to be the one at the altar, waiting for the girl of my dreams¡­all I know is, she wants me. She will want me forever. Olivia makes me happy to be alive¡ªlike I can do anything. Emotions well up in my throat and I swallow hard and roll my shoulders to rid myself of it.

    ¡°Easy, big boy.¡± Jackson chuckles under his breath. ¡°She¡¯s coming.¡±

    Then, I see white fabric flick over the edge of the door and a second later, there she is. My bride.

    I cease to breathe as air flees from my lungs at the vision of her in her beautiful tight, white wedding dress. It clings to the curves of her body, before flaring out at the bottom, leaving a long trail of fabric behind her. My stare drags up the rest of her body and onto her face, that¡¯s hidden by a thin white veil. On her arm, her proud brother stands with his stern face and green eyes locked on the altar in front of him. I hear sniffles and gasps and low murmurs come from our relatives, but I don¡¯t dare let my eyes waver from the perfection strolling toward me. Now all I want is to see her face. I want to see her emotions¡ªto see if she¡¯s as excited as I am.

    In a few small eternities, she¡¯s in front of me with her brother, a protective dog at her side.

    ¡°She¡¯s yours now,¡± Chase tells me. ¡°But I¡¯ll always be looking over her shoulder. Treat her well¡ªlike a princess.¡±

    I shake my head. Not like a princess. ¡°Like a queen.¡±

    Chase¡¯s lips pull into a wide smile and he places her hand in mine. He gives Olivia one kiss on the cheek and then steps down to stand behind Selena, evening out the bridal party. O clutches my hand tightly, eagerly, lacing her warm, sweaty fingers through my own. The priest begins to speak and I feel Olivia become a little restless next to me. When I peer at her, I hear her whisper ¡®fuck it¡¯ under her breath and she flicks the veil over her head and throws herself at me, crushing her mouth to mine. The guests cheer and clap, hooting and hollering and laughing at Olivia¡¯s sudden urgency to kiss me. Behind me, I hear Darryl and Jackson groan and utter ¡®Jesus Christ¡¯ under their breaths. I don¡¯t have much time to register the kiss, I¡¯m still stuck on the sudden glimpse of her beautiful face. When my body begins to react to her mouth, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her tighter to me.

    When she pulls away, she whispers,. ¡°Thank you so much, you¡¯ve made my day.¡±

    Her eyes are damp with tears and her voice seems shaky. I smile down at her and pull the veil back over her face. ¡°You¡¯re welcome. Now let¡¯s get married already.¡±

    She laughs up at me, stands back in her place and apologizes to the reverend.

    The reverend clears his throat. ¡°Let¡¯s try that again. As Olivia and Seth take their vows today, we are privileged to witness the joyous love of a new family¡ªa family that will be nourished and nurtured through the devotion of two separate individuals growing together through the common bonds of love. May their marriage bring them the peace, joy, comfort and contentment that is known in the hearts of all God¡¯s children.¡±

    I zone out and glance at Olivia. Through the thin material, I can make out her lips as she smiles widely at the reverend. Her happiness is pouring from her in waves, exceeded only by my own.

    ¡°To truly love another person is to be willing to accept both their strong points and their weak points, with equal measures of understanding and respect.¡±

    The ceremony in itself is a traditional one, and not lengthy at all. We recited after the reverend where prompted and exchanged rings. I¡¯ve never worn a ring before, but the gold band that now decorates my finger doesn¡¯t feel out of place or alien at all. It feels right, like it¡¯s a part of my skin.

    ¡°Seth, do you take Olivia to be your wedded wife, your partner in life, and your one true love? Do you cherish her friendship and promise to love her today, tomorrow and forever? Do you promise to comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in health, remaining faithful to her as long as you both shall live?¡±

    I don¡¯t have to think. He just asked me the easiest question I¡¯ve ever heard in my life. ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Olivia, do you take this man to be your wedded husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, remaining faithful to him as long as you both shall live?¡±

    ¡°I do.¡±

    ¡°Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.¡±

    I reach out and lift the veil from Olivia¡¯s face, exposing the single curl of dark hair that rests against her chest. I pull her to me and kiss her with everything that I have. I pour all of my love, my excitement, and nervousness into the kiss, and I feel the air leave her lungs. Everything in my life has led to this moment¡­the moment where I¡¯d claim my one true love as my wife in front of all of our friends and family.

    And I wouldn¡¯t change a thing.

    The reception was a wild blur of flashing cameras, music, dancing and food. My face muscles hurt more than my entire body does after a fight, just from smiling.

    I could write a five hundred page novel about tonight. I could write about the vows we exchanged, the conversation we had, or the dances we shared in extreme detail, but to me, those things didn¡¯t matter as much to me as being joined in matrimony forever did.

    I drive away from the reception at Emerald Cliff Restaurant and Marina, and head toward the resort I booked for us at The Captain Lord Mansion. I¡¯m relieved the whole thing is over¡ªbefore we left, our relatives were all starting to feel the effects of the alcohol and the uncomfortable childhood stories that were slowly starting to roll out. Chase, Maddi, Jackson, Selena and Darryl were huddled around a table, sharing stories and laughing like they¡¯ve always hung out¡ªand my Mom, she was happily sitting with Olivia¡¯s mother, neither of them touching the free booze. Today and tonight was perfect to say the least, but now we¡¯re finally alone again. I¡¯ve wanted to be alone with Olivia since I saw her at Saint Paul¡¯s Church and the only thing I can think about is making this night memorable for her. I don¡¯t know how¡­I don¡¯t know what else I can do for her. I¡¯ve taken her in a shower and tied her to cages. I¡¯ve licked between her thighs while she slept and I¡¯ve lost my fingers inside her until she melted around me a million and one times. What else can I bring to the table? What else can I do to make tonight memorable?

    We pull up outside the Captain Lord Mansion and Olivia slips from the car with a yawn.

    ¡°Leave the bags,¡± I tell her as I exit the car and she reaches for the back handle. ¡°I¡¯ll get them in the morning.¡±

    Our fingers lace together as she meets me around my side of the car. I lead her up the stairs and through the mansion¡¯s double doors. She marvels at the layout and all of the decorations, but her eyes don¡¯t linger on them. I¡¯m way too tired to really care if I was somewhere nice or somewhere dodgy. She practically bounces next to me as I escort her to our room. Inside, I eye the bed, eager to lie down and rest my eyes.

    ¡°Can you run a bath?¡± Olivia smiles. ¡°I think we need to wind down a little before bed.¡±

    ¡°Anything for you, wifey.¡± My chest squeezes at the word and Olivia beams at me.

    I pull my jacket off and undo my waist coat and tie, throwing it onto the bed, uncaring if they wrinkle. I stroll through the large bedroom and into the open, elegant bathroom. I barely marvel at the stonework as I run the bath, hot and bubbly to Olivia¡¯s liking. At the thought of her name, she strolls in with a bottle of wine and two glasses in her hand. She turns and glances at me over her shoulder. I rise up and clasp her zipper, drawing it down her spine and over the rise of her ass.

    ¡°You want to drink now?¡± I ask, lowering my mouth to her neck and planting a soft kiss. Under my lips, light goosebumps erupt over her skin. I pull away and she smiles wickedly at me.

    ¡°Sure.¡±

    ¡°You know how I get¡­¡± The last thing I want to do is fuck her too roughly her on our wedding night. Isn¡¯t it meant to be passionate and loving?

    I unhook her bra and toss it away.

    ¡°I¡¯ve heard how you get, but I haven¡¯t seen it yet.¡±

    Her words stir my dick in my pants and I watch her plump, red lips as the next two words fall from her mouth. Show me.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want me to be kind and loving?¡± I ask, curling my fingers around her white lace underwear and pushing them down her thighs. When they reach a certain point, they fall without my assistance and she steps out of them. She¡¯s fully naked now and I watch¡ªno¡ªI admire her as she puts one foot after the other into the bath and lowers herself down. I watch the milky skin of her thighs turn a light shade of pink, immersed in the hot water. The water is barely deep enough to cover her thighs and I love the vision before me as rogue bubbles cover one half of her nipple.

    ¡°Well¡­¡± She smiles, pouring wine into a glass. ¡°You can still love me with a fistful of my hair.¡±

    Holy. Shit. She wants it rough, hard, and fast. She wants me to completely dominate her, taking her on every surface in this room. Baby wants, baby gets.

    She places the full glass on the edge of the bath and looks up at me. ¡°Are you going to join me, or are you going to continue to eye-fuck me instead of actually fucking me?¡±

    I unhook my belt almost aggressively, not believing the words that are coming out of her mouth. I shed my clothes and lower myself into the bath. She hands me a glass of wine and I slam it back in three big gulps. I fucking hate wine. I drop the glass over the edge and onto the bath mat before I surge forward, grabbing Olivia¡¯s legs and yanking her toward me. I don¡¯t need alcohol to give her what she wants. Olivia pulls from my grasp and ¡®tsks¡¯ at me.

    ¡°We have all night to do that.¡± She smiles devilishly. She flips her body around and crawls toward me. ¡°There¡¯s something I want to do for you, first.¡±

    She runs her tongue over her bottom lips before leaning right in and kissing my neck¡ªand then my chest. The palm of her hand flattens against my chest and my heart beats rapidly into her hand as she pushes me back a little. I watch her, amazed how my body does what she tells it to without hesitation and it¡¯s in this moment I realize, Olivia isn¡¯t mine¡­I¡¯m hers.

    I quickly moisten my lip and a gasp of air leaves me as her eyes stay locked on mine and she lowers her mouth to my cock.

    Her moist lips wrap around the head, coating it in saliva and a guttural groan tears from me as my head falls back against the tiles. Pleasure radiates from my core, pulsing in consuming waves each time her tongue flicks over the very tip, and as she takes me all the way to the back of her throat, I shudder and smile, realizing I¡¯m completely, irreversibly and happily lost to my wife.