《Consumed (Consumed #1)》


 Page 1

    Chapter One


    FROM: BLADE 7:23 P.M. Hey Babe. Can¡¯t make dinner. Boys n I r going out. Don¡¯t W8 up. XAdvertisement


    Great, just fucking great.


    I toss my phone back into my handbag and I glance around the room, frustrated by Blade¡¯s cancellation. Sadly, this isn¡¯t the first time I¡¯ve been stood up. It¡¯s the third time this month Blade has left me at Salsa¡¯s Mexican restaurant waiting for him because he prefers to ¡®hang with his boys¡¯ over his girlfriend of six years. To make matters worse, the waiter that has been coming over to my table for the past hour asking me if I want to order is the same damn waiter that has attempted to serve me the last two times I¡¯ve been stood up. I peer over to the bar and meet the waiter¡¯s boyish face and blue eyes. He looks back at me sympathetically. Startled, I quickly look down at my menu, letting the long chocolate strands of my hair work as a curtain between us. Only the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat made me peer around my hair.


    ¡°Are you ready to order?¡± The young waiter asks, running his fingers through the front of his long, blond fringe.


    ¡°Uh,¡± A blush instantly springs to my cheeks and I cringe at the thought of how red they must look. ¡°No, sorry¡­ my partner isn¡¯t coming.¡±


    I rise to my feet and straighten my short, black dress. I pull my matching black coat off the back of my chair and shrug it on over my shoulders. I reach across the table for my handbag and walk quickly toward the exit. My cheeks grow warmer and I swear I can feel everyone¡¯s appraising eyes on me.


    Outside the air is surprisingly cold. Strange, considering we¡¯re meant to be well into spring. The cool air makes my nose run immediately and I feel the heat of my blush fade from my cheeks. My high heels tap in an even beat along the concrete as I make my way through the car park. I¡¯ve always found calm weather soothing, but tonight¡¯s cold, still weather isn¡¯t enough to calm the storm raging inside of me.


    My dark shadow reflects in the blue paint of my sedan as I unlock the car and climb in. With a growl, I throw my handbag into the passenger seat. Tears burn at my tear ducts, but I don¡¯t dare let them fall. I¡¯m not going to cry over him anymore. I lean over and dig hastily through the contents of my handbag until I locate my phone. I search for his name in my contacts list and hit dial. It rings out and I¡¯m greeted by his stupid voicemail. ¡°Yo, this is Blade. I¡¯m not here right now, obviously. Call me back later.¡±


    I don¡¯t leave a voicemail, but I do call again. And again. And again. Each time it reaches his voicemail I grow angrier and angrier, until he finally answers.


    ¡°Shh. Shh.¡± I hear him whisper to someone with a high pitched giggle. The noise makes my stomach drop in to my intestines. ¡°Hey babe, what¡¯s up?¡±


    Choosing to ignore the female noise until later, I tell him what¡¯s up. ¡°What¡¯s up? I¡¯m sitting in the car park of Salsa¡¯s because you stood me up again!¡± My voice is loud, but I don¡¯t care.


    ¡°Can you stop yelling? It¡¯s really not a big deal. You and I hang out all the time.¡±


    What kind of response is that? ¡°Wait. Because we see each other frequently it gives you the right to stand me up?¡±


    I can imagine him doing that stupid shrug thing he always does. ¡°Something like that. I knew you¡¯d understand.¡±


    He hangs up, leaving me staring out the front windscreen. Anger boils to extremes in my chest and I can feel my nostrils flare as my chest rises and falls rapidly. With shaky hands, I hit redial.


    ¡°Hello?¡± A husky, female voice answers, catching me off guard.


    ¡°Are you fucking kidding me?¡± I demand, feeling instantly ill. ¡°Who is this?¡±


    ¡°Georgina.¡±


    ¡°Put Blade on the phone.¡± I snap.


    In the background I distinctly hear club music and laughter. I¡¯m glad he¡¯s out having a good time while I¡¯m sitting alone in a Goddamn car park.


    ¡°Shit. Olivia, it¡¯s not what you think. She took my phone off the bar.¡±


    I¡¯ve reached boiling point. I¡¯m done. ¡°Do you think I¡¯m dumb?¡± I bark into the phone. What kind of question is that? Of course he does.


    ¡°No, not at all.¡± I can hear the slight slur in his voice. Typical. ¡°I mean sometimes you do things that make me question¡ª¡±


    ¡°Just shut up! I don¡¯t want to talk to you anymore and I don¡¯t want to see you anymore. You can find your stuff boxed and on my driveway!¡± God knows how many times I¡¯ve said that.


    ¡°Olly, c¡¯mon. Don¡¯t be like that.¡± He pleads through the phone, calling me by my nickname. ¡°You¡¯re overreacting.¡±


    I hang up. How¡¯s that for fucking overreacting. I rest my head on the steering wheel as a few tears drop onto my bare thigh. Blade and I have been dating since we were seventeen. We¡¯re twenty three now. Realistically, we should¡¯ve only dated for two years. That was the first time he cheated on me. Since then I¡¯ve lost count of how many times he has betrayed me. I know. I¡¯m an idiot for taking him back and I should respect myself more blah, blah, blah. Hear me out; being with Blade is all I know. I¡¯ve never been with anyone else. The thought of not having him in my life terrifies me, but I know that if he is in my life he¡¯s going to keep destroying me over and over and I can¡¯t do it anymore. If being with Blade means I¡¯ll sit in restaurants alone for the rest of my life or worrying that I might catch some freaky STD from him¡­then I want no part of it.


    I storm around my compact apartment with a big box tucked under my arms, collecting Blade¡¯s stuff. He doesn¡¯t live with me, but he sure has a lot of items lingering around my apartment. Each one I pick up makes me feel sicker as reality begins to sink in. When I¡¯m certain I¡¯ve grabbed everything I run downstairs and place the box on the driveway. I¡¯ve never gone as far as to actually remove his things before, but this time I¡¯m fed up. I¡¯ve had enough. I turn around, but a set of headlights pulling in to the driveway makes me turn back to the road. It¡¯s a taxi.


    Great.


    Blade jumps out of the backseat and pulls a handful of cash from the front pocket of his denim jeans. He tosses the money into the driver¡¯s window and jogs over to me.


    ¡°Baby,¡± He pleads, running his fingers through his dark, blond hair. ¡°Don¡¯t do this. I love you.¡±


    I turn on my heel, knowing very well that if he flashes me those boyish dimples I¡¯ll cave. His hand wraps around my elbow and energy frissons through me as spins me around with surprising force. Under his grasp my elbow aches.


    ¡°You¡¯re hurting me.¡± I snarl under my breath so the neighbors can¡¯t hear.


    He doesn¡¯t release his grip. His eyes glare into mine as he leans close so I can feel and smell his hot, alcohol filled breath on my face. There¡¯s no sympathy on his face only anger. I glance at his small, blue eyes and then down his face to his thin lips. Pink lipstick along his jaw line catches my attention. My gaze follows the sets of lips down his neck, before disappearing underneath the blue collar of his green polo shirt.


    ¡°You are disgusting.¡± I spit.


    He squeezes my arm harder and I wince as my muscle forcefully compresses under my flesh. ¡°What would you do without me? Where would you be without me?¡±


    I snatch my arm back. ¡°I don¡¯t need you anymore. I need someone who appreciates me.¡±


    Blade laughs loudly, tilting his head back and exposing his teeth. Apparently, I said the joke of the year. ¡°You won¡¯t find anyone that¡¯ll be as interested in you as I am. You¡¯re plain, Olivia, and you¡¯re boring. You¡¯ve got nothing to offer anyone. I¡¯m the best thing that has ever happened to you.¡±


    Ouch, to think that this bitter person is supposed to be my significant other. A weird tingling sensation builds up in my throat as it usually does before I cry and I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth to help ease the build-up of tears. And it does to a degree.


    ¡°If I¡¯m such a bad catch then why are you so upset?¡± I ask, my voice quivering slightly.


    ¡°I¡¯m not upset. I¡¯m happy. Break up with me, I don¡¯t care. You¡¯ll come crawling back and when you do I¡¯m going to slam my door in your face.¡±


    I turn away from him. If I don¡¯t leave now, I¡¯ll cry and I don¡¯t want him to see me cry. I make my way up the small, white stairs and just before I step it into my apartment his voice calls out one last time. ¡°I don¡¯t need you! Maine is crawling with better girls and I picked up two of them tonight!¡±


    I slam my door and slide down the hard wood. How can someone who used to be so sweet be so damn hurtful? If you asked me a few years ago where I wanted to be in life I would have said ¡®anywhere as long as I have Blade¡¯. If you asked me that same question now, I¡¯d reply ¡®anywhere I don¡¯t see Blade¡¯s stupid face or hear his stupid voice¡¯. My chest heaves painfully as tears escape my eyes. I let them fall in full force because I¡¯ve been holding them back since the restaurant and I can¡¯t anymore. I crawl on my hands and knees from the front door, through the lounge room and into my bedroom. I manage to pull myself onto my bed and I let the cool, satin duvet cover caress my burning cheeks. After a few minutes I realize I¡¯m not crying because I broke up with Blade. I¡¯m crying because I know this isn¡¯t the end of it. He¡¯ll keep coming back. He¡¯ll keep emotionally blackmailing me and putting me down until I crack and accept him back into my life, but that isn¡¯t going to happen this time. I won¡¯t take him back. I¡¯m stronger now and I¡¯ve been preparing for our inevitable breakup for a long time now. Just because I choose to wear more conservative clothing doesn¡¯t make me plain and just because I like to stay home most nights and read and write does not make me boring. I¡¯ll show him that I¡¯m not dependant on him. I¡¯ll show him that I can¡¯t be controlled. I¡¯ll treat him like I¡¯m over him because I¡¯m definitely over being treated like I¡¯m nothing. I am not nothing. I am me and I love being me.


    Screw him.


    Chapter Two


    The next morning, I wake up extra early so I can get a longer session in at the gym before work. My gym is only a few blocks down, but I drive anyway. Why would I want to burn more calories than I need to? It was hard waking up early this morning. I didn¡¯t get a lot of sleep last night. I ended up switching my phone off after eleven p.m. and a million missed calls. I smile. Blade is probably freaking out right now and it serves him right.


    Even after I switched off my phone sleep was scarce. I stayed up all night thinking, trying to pin point the exact moment Blade turned into a douche. I couldn¡¯t and I wonder if he¡¯s been like that since high school and I¡¯ve just been too blind to notice?


    I pull up in front of the gym, lean across and pull my backpack off the passenger seat. Inside it has a towel, a pair of heels, a nice black business dress, some make-up and a hair brush. After my workout I need to shower and get dressed for work. Since the gym has showers, I figured I¡¯d knock two birds with one stone this morning. I adjust my ponytail, pull my tights up a little higher and cover my belly button with my pink tank top. Not that it helps any. It¡¯s so tight it keeps sliding back up and exposing my flat midriff.


    I enter the gym and a sterile smell fills my nostrils. Yesterday, the gym was hosting a boot camp and it smelt strongly of sweat and vomit. Unpleasant is a nice way of putting it.


    I scan the gym trying to decide where I want to start today. Usually, I start with the treadmill or the elliptical, but this morning I¡¯m feeling something a little more¡­ aggressive. I want something I can take my anger out on. I have a lot of hate that I want to belt out of my system before work. My gaze falls onto the boxing ring where two staunch men spar. It¡¯s a start, I guess, but maybe I¡¯ll go with something a little more personal. I look over to the boxing bags and I see¡­him.


    Whoa.


    A shiver instantly shoots down my spine, igniting something dark and sinister deep down in my core. I helplessly drink in the strangers features, gaping at him like an idiot. Strands from his short, black hair stick to his forehead with sweat and as soon as I notice, he runs his taped fingers through it, sending tiny droplets of sweat in every direction. My mouth goes dry and I want to run my lips over his moist throat. I¡¯m suddenly aware of a strange, searing heat across the back of my neck and an electrical current I¡¯ve never felt before tingles between my thighs as I watch his sweaty chest rise and fall in a deep pant. He glances up at the ceiling and closes his eyes, forcing his Adams apple to protrude outwards, slightly. His broad shoulders and one side of his chest are covered in intricate tattoos. Across his hip is another tattoo¡ªit¡¯s a sentence, but I¡¯m too far away to read it. My gaze falls onto his black drawstring pants that hang off his narrow hips, exposing his delicious ¡®V¡¯ shape. I¡¯ve never seen a man so¡­ so¡­ like him. It¡¯s like he came straight out of a movie or some steamy, erotic women¡¯s magazine¡ªsix pack and all.


    He flexes his fingers and bounces lightly on his toes before he balls his hands into fists. His muscles tighten and twitch, work and relax, as he slams his hard fists into the large, blue bag. My entire body tightens and vibrates with pleasure every time his large fists connect. And the way his brows knit together as he swings his large, muscular arms has me squirming where I stand. I look at his face, his eyes are dark and his face serious, like the bag in front of him is someone he hates. Involuntarily, my eyes fall back to his ¡®V¡¯ shape and I ponder what exactly is under the thin fabric. The thought alone is enough for desire to start pooling between my thighs. A few seconds pass and I realize the string on his pants isn¡¯t swinging back and forth anymore¡ªhe isn¡¯t moving. Slowly, I drag my eyes up over his slim hips and a narrow waist, a chest doused in a thin layer of clean sweat, well-formed traps and lastly, a pair of dark, brown eyes that are...looking directly at me.

 Page 2

    Shit!Advertisement


    My stomach claws its way up my throat with tremendous speed and I think I¡¯m going to be sick. I feel like I¡¯m standing on water, instead of solid ground and my eyes widen as my pulse instantly skyrockets. I want to run, but I remain frozen¡ªrooted in place. I open my mouth to apologize, but I¡¯m at least thirty feet away from him. I clamp my mouth shut. I¡¯m embarrassed, yet at the same time, I¡¯m aroused¡ªcompletely undone just because he¡¯s looking at me. His tantalizing, full lips break out into a cocky smile, like he heard everything I thought about him. Under my cheeks, my blood burns. Not with want, but with embarrassment and I hate it. I look down to my white sneakers. Maybe I¡¯ll start with the treadmills today. I force myself one foot in front of the other over to the treadmills that sit side by side. I crank up the speed of the treadmill and I run my ass off. Very quickly my body begins to moan and complain, probably because I forgot to warm up. Beeps sound off on the treadmill next to me.


    ¡°Hey, Olly.¡±


    It¡¯s my Dad. I shouldn¡¯t be too surprised to run into him here. It is his gym, after all. I suppress a groan. Dad and I have had a bit of a bumpy road since I moved out. The only time he finds the time to talk to me is when he¡¯s trying to guilt trip me into moving back in. My older brother Chase gets to run around the world unbothered by our parents because he¡¯s serving our country. God forbid I do something for myself.


    I slow my machine down to a brisk pace to match his. I hate my nickname. I¡¯ve been referred to as Olly for as long as I can remember. Dad and Blade are the only ones to get away with it.


    Seeing Dad this morning is a little bit of a shock. He¡¯s been absent from the gym for a few days and his assistant Derrick has been handling things. ¡°Dad? I haven¡¯t seen you around the gym in a while. I was getting worried.¡±


    ¡°But not worried enough to come home and check on me?¡±


    I roll my eyes as he lifts off his bowlers cap with one hand and scratches his flat, grey hair with the other. He knew very well that if I so much as point one toe in the direction of the house, I¡¯ll never be allowed to leave.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been busy visiting your Aunt Kate.¡± He informs me. ¡°Your cousin Tracey gave birth to a baby boy yesterday. He has my nose.¡±


    ¡°Poor kid,¡± I joke, unable to contain a snicker.


    ¡°Yeah, yeah, you¡¯re hilarious, I get it.¡±


    I smile at him.


    ¡°What¡¯s been happening with you?¡± He asks.


    I groan and flick my long ponytail over my other shoulder. ¡°I broke up with Blade last night. He left me at Salsa¡¯s again.¡±


    Dad shakes his head. ¡°I told you he was bad news. That kid has no respect. I knew he was an ungrateful prick the moment I laid eyes on him.¡± He places a soft hand on top of mine. ¡°It¡¯s his loss, honey. You¡¯re a good girl and if my mate¡¯s sons weren¡¯t already married I¡¯d put in a good word for you.¡±


    I laugh. ¡°It¡¯s the thought that counts.¡± I look beyond Dad and the stranger is back to punching his bag. His hard pecs contract every time he makes contact and I imagine running my tongue slowly over his erect nipples. What is wrong with me?


    ¡°Hey, who¡¯s that guy?¡± I ask, flicking my head in his direction.


    Dad turns around. ¡°The guy with the muscles?¡± He faces me and I nod. ¡°You really don¡¯t know who he is?¡±


    ¡°Am I supposed to?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s Seth Marc,¡± Jesus, even his name makes my insides melt. ¡°He just moved to Portland from Seattle. He¡¯s a great MMA fighter¡ªor at least he was.¡±


    I arch an eyebrow.


    ¡°The guy was so close to going pro when he turned twenty one. He competed in an amateur MMA comp, but he dropped out seconds before the championship bout. It had something to do with family drama. His comeback has been all over the internet.¡±


    I sigh. ¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t go on the internet much.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, don¡¯t distract the guy. He¡¯s got tough competition in the upcoming tournament that he needs to smash if he wants to get into the pros.¡± Dad turns off his treadmill. ¡°I gotta go, kid. I¡¯ll talk to ya later.¡±


    Before he walks completely away, he turns abruptly. ¡°Come over for dinner next Sunday. Your mama is killing me. She wants to see you more often.¡±


    I nod. ¡°I¡¯ll see what I can do.¡±


    Dad rolls his eyes and leaves me looking at Seth. He¡¯s literally sex in hand wraps and the way he smiled at me is burnt into my brain. Looking at him now with the way his brows are pulled together and his lips pressed into a straight line¡ªI never would have thought he¡¯s capable of smiling. I turn my treadmill off and grab my backpack. I¡¯m done working out for the day¡ªnot that it helped any. I¡¯m even more wound up now than I was before I got to the gym and I have a funny feeling that the only thing that¡¯s going to help me is Seth and his tongue. I exhale, pulling my shirt down again. Who am I kidding? I¡¯d never approach a guy like him. There¡¯s too much alpha male going on. He oozes authority and aggression. He¡¯s a lion and I¡¯m a mouse¡ªhe¡¯d swallow me whole and not in the good way. I turn toward the female shower room, keeping my head down and straight, until a bouncy brunette enters the gym and demands attention. In her tight tube dress and with heels, no doubt higher than her morals (I¡¯m aware that¡¯s not an accepted form of measurement, but it makes me feel better thinking it), she prances right over to Seth. Of course he is with her. Why wouldn¡¯t he be? Her body is slim and her boobs are big and fake. He does strike me as the kind of guy who enjoys that sort of thing and she is pretty in that fake, comes-off-with-a-wipe kind of way.


    Her back is to me as she wraps her long, skinny arms around his neck, pulling him into her so his head rests on the nape of her shoulder. From under his brow, his eyes flicker onto me and... Damn it! I¡¯m staring at him again, only this time I can¡¯t look away. His dark, mesmerizing gaze has me trapped. They hug for a while and the whole time he watches me with a knowing, yet curious gleam in his eyes. Seth pulls away from her and when his eyes finally release me, I turn on my heel and practically run to the showers.


    The shower room is a little tight and there are only two shower booths. The other four showerheads are out in the open. I¡¯m not shameless enough to shower in front of other people, but the old woman showering freely when I walked in seemed to have no quarrels with me seeing her naked. I, on the other hand, squeezed my eyes shut and I dove for the nearest booth.


    The water is nice on my skin. A little too cold for my liking, but I need it to be. If I was going to make it through the day without touching myself to relieve whatever it is that has me wound tighter than a Goddamn jack-in-the-box, then I need something to cool me down. I¡¯ve never been a sexual person, but right now I¡¯m the horniest I¡¯ve ever been in my life and it¡¯s all because a guy at the gym looked at me.


    How lame.


    I like sex, but Blade has been my only sexual partner and the sex really isn¡¯t anything to brag about. It goes for a few minutes and then that¡¯s it. The only way I¡¯ve been able to achieve orgasm is if I do it myself.


    I dry myself off and slip into some underwear. I pull on some black stockings and then zip myself into my black dress before sliding into a nice pair of cream wedges. After I gather my things, I make my way over to the sinks with the foggy-like mirrors. Even after the cool shower my cheeks are still a little flushed. I rub on my foundation to lessen the pinkish hue and it works to a degree. After applying some subtle eye make-up, I pull my long, damp hair into a makeshift bun. It¡¯s a little messy, but it looks deliberate and I really can¡¯t be bothered fixing it. I pull my cell phone out of my bag and fling my bag over my shoulder. The old woman is still shamelessly showering away when I leave the room and as I stroll down the hallway, I switch my phone on and immediately I¡¯m bombarded with text messages and voicemails from Blade, my mom and my best friend Selena.


    FROM: SELENA 12:00 A.M.


    Why is Blade calling me non-stop?


    Please tell me it¡¯s for real and


    You dumped his arrogant ass?


    FROM: SELENA 12:15 A.M.


    Answer me dammit!


    I don¡¯t know if I should open


    champagne or not. The suspense


    is killing me!!!


    FROM: SELENA 12:30 A.M.


    I opened the champagne anyway.


    I giggle to myself. Selena is always looking for an excuse to drink alcohol. I think she¡¯s already had three birthdays this year because of it. I hit reply.


    TO: SELENA 8:15 A.M.


    Yep, it¡¯s over between us.


    The bastard left¡ª


    ¡°Unf.¡± I grunt as I walk into a hard body. My phone slips from my hands and hits the floor. Thankfully, the screen remains crack free.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± I groan, kneeling down to pick up my phone. I pick it up off the floor and then I freeze. My hand tightens convulsively around the device as I notice the person standing in front of me is wearing a pair of black drawstring pants. Slowly, my eyes travel up his body. No, no, no, no. Please, God let it be anyone but him. My gaze meets his hard, sweaty chest and then flicks up to a pair of dark, chocolate eyes that have little golden rivers of honey that branch throughout them. I swallow hard. He¡¯s inches away from me, standing as still as stone and staring down at me. I feel my knees begin to shake as I peer shyly up at him through my dark lashes. He extends a long, fingered hand to me and I instantly take it.


    ¡°Did I get you wet?¡± He asks in a voice that is so sinfully deep I immediately get a shiver down my spine. He helps me to my feet, but doesn¡¯t let go of my hand. His skin is hot and my blood simmers as a result. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as a telltale blush springs to my cheeks.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Did I get you wet?¡± He repeats slower this time, emphasizing each word. ¡°I¡¯m covered in sweat.¡±


    ¡°Oh, right.¡± I glance down at my dress. There are a few damp patches that are blacker than the rest, but nothing too serious or gross. I don¡¯t even think the word gross can be used in a sentence with this man. ¡°You didn¡¯t get too much on me.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± He asks, leaning closer to me.


    ¡°Olivia.¡±


    Seth¡¯s mouth molds into a breathtaking smile and I¡¯m unsuccessful at tearing my eyes away from his as he draws my hand to his mouth and softly places his lips on my knuckles. I gasp as he tugs on me, pulling me in close. My free hand flies up and rests against his hard chest in attempt to stop myself from fully pressing against him. Pure, white-hot lust tears through my body and spills over every organ and every bone before settling between my thighs. Our bodies are so close and I stare into his dark eyes completely disarmed and confused. Am I dreaming? I can feel his body heat radiating onto me¡ªentering me. I glance past him and the brunette, his girlfriend, is glowering at us. I take a deep controlled breath before pulling my hand back. If my hand had a mind of its own it¡¯d undoubtedly slap me. He seems amused by the way I regard him and bites back a smile.


    ¡°If you¡¯ll excuse me,¡± I say, dropping eye contact. ¡°I¡¯m running late for work.¡±


    Damn! If only I didn¡¯t have work, I¡¯d stay in the gym all day. I step past him and keep my head down as I pass his girlfriend. Behind me, the angry brunette¡¯s voice is rambling about how disrespectful he is being to her and I think I hear him chuckle. Without a glance over my shoulder, I flee from the gym.


    Chapter Three


    I sit at work typing names and taking calls. I try hard to focus on the tasks at hand, but I can¡¯t stop thinking about Seth or his body. Or his black hair. Or the way his lips felt on my hand. Or his dark eyes. I squeeze my thighs tighter and suddenly, I have an insatiable craving for chocolate and honey. I shake my head. Underneath my strange and abrupt desire for Seth, the stranger at the gym, there¡¯s a guilty feeling swirling around my stomach like I¡¯ve done something wrong. I broke up with Blade last night so technically I¡¯m a single woman...so why do I feel so dirty?


    I enjoy working as a receptionist, but I¡¯ve been glancing around the same spacious, sterile waiting room for the last two years and I just can¡¯t seem to find enough motivation to quit here. I hope one day I can actually do something different with my life like become an author or direct movies. I¡¯ve always wanted to be able to tell a story in some way. Writing seems more achievable and if I had a choice, I¡¯d be a famous romance author. There¡¯s just something about a healthy love and a happy ending that inspires me. Of course, my mother doesn¡¯t consider writing an actual career, neither does Blade. ¡°Writing is a dead end career. You¡¯ll run out of unrealistic stories eventually. Become a therapist or a psychologist, then you¡¯ll always be busy. People have endless problems that they want to discuss all of the time.¡± Mom would say. At least she had a point¡ªnot that I agree with it. Blade said things like ¡°People don¡¯t read anymore,¡± or ¡°It sucks.¡± Since when does reading suck? Who says that? If I ran the world, people who didn¡¯t read would be the first to go. Boom. Put them out of their misery.


    I put a piece of paper through the shredder and my mind falls back onto Seth Marc. I still feel his hands on my skin and his lips on my knuckles. I¡¯ve never been so captivated by the opposite sex before. I¡¯m a little angry that he so openly flirted with me when is girlfriend was in the same building. That is not okay and I hate myself for being weak. I never want to be the girl a guy cheats with because I know what it¡¯s like to be the girl that gets cheated on and it sucks. I can fantasize and perve on him in the gym though, can¡¯t I? I mean, where¡¯s the harm in that? The way he looked at me with that unapologetic stare makes me feel dizzy and I subconsciously squeeze my thighs together. He¡¯s definitely the kind of guy moms warn their daughters about¡ªthe kind that breaks hearts and leaves a long line of them behind him. Strangely, he doesn¡¯t seem like the kind of guy you can avoid. I imagine he¡¯d be relentless in pursuing what he wants. Who am I kidding? There¡¯s no way he wants me. I have an over-active imagination... maybe that¡¯s all it is. I tap my pen in an uneven rhythm on the desk. But he did pull me into him...

 Page 3

    A woman in front of me clears her throat, demanding my attention, but I continue to look through her, imagining all of the sick, sexy things I¡¯d let Seth do to me.Advertisement


    ¡°Excuse me?¡± She asks. Her tone is thick with snobby attitude.


    Her wrinkled, aged face comes into focus and I¡¯m looking at her cherry colored lips that are pursed into an annoyed line. Her white hair sits on the top of her head, like a poodle. Yep, she reminds me of a poodle. I ready my fingers on the worn out keyboard. ¡°Name, please?¡±


    ¡°Miriam Matthews.¡± I type as she speaks.


    I tick her name as attended and tell her to have a seat. With a frustrated exhale, she struts away from me. Her dress is a cherry-red, just like her lips and it¡¯s tight, forcing her gigantic, fake boobs as high as they can possibly go. I wonder if she comes here to discuss her inability to let go of her youth. I smile to myself. Trying to read people without even getting to know them is a habit of mine. I frown. I couldn¡¯t get a full reading on Seth. He was difficult and that bugs me. With the old lady, on the other hand, I think I have a pretty good idea of what she¡¯s all about. I peer over my desk at the woman and judging by the way she sits with her legs tightly crossed as she subconsciously taps her beautiful manicured finger on her equally beautiful diamond watch tells me that she¡¯s impatient. That¡¯s not too surprising considering everyone is busy these days. The rock-hard, lifeless pair of fake tits that protruded from her dress brings me back to my inability to let go of youth point. I glance at her hands. There¡¯s a tan line on her ring finger and I¡¯m going to assume she¡¯s a recent widow to her latest of five husbands. I look at my computer screen and click on her file. Close enough. She¡¯s had three name changes the past two years. I click on ¡®John Matthews¡¯ the name that¡¯s linked to her account. A big red ¡®DECEASED¡¯ watermark runs across his file. Sometimes, I¡¯m too good at what I do.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you breaching some kind of doctor-slash-patient confidentiality laws?¡± I jump and switch the monitor off as Selena slides onto my desk.


    ¡°Jesus,¡± I breathe. ¡°You scared the hell out of me.¡±


    Selena laughs and nudges me, drawing a few annoyed scowls from the patients in the waiting room. I press my finger against my lips. ¡°Shoosh, this is my work, remember. What are you doing here?¡±


    She flicks her soft, blonde curls so they drape over her shoulder and leans closer to me. The smell of cigarette on her breath makes me nauseous. Lightly, I shove her backwards. ¡°Your breath smells like smoke. It¡¯s disgusting.¡±


    ¡°Oops,¡± She reaches for a piece of gum out of a hidden pocket in her bag. ¡°Sorry.¡± She pops the gum into her mouth, scrunches the wrapper and aims for the bin, missing terribly.


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I ask again as she applies minimum lip gloss to her plump lips.


    ¡°I thought I¡¯d come check on you. You didn¡¯t answer any of my texts.¡± She slides out of her beige coat and tucks it underneath her. ¡°I was worried. I half expected to find you dead somewhere.¡±


    ¡°Oh, right.¡± After literally running into Seth at the gym, I completely forgot to text Selena back. ¡°I switched my phone off last night and then this morning I got a little caught up at Dad¡¯s gym.¡±


    She rolls her eyes. ¡°Boring. Anyway, you really broke up with Blade?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yep.¡±


    ¡°And there¡¯s no getting back with him?¡±


    ¡°No. Not this time.¡±


    Ignoring the fact that we¡¯re in a quiet place, Selena squeals like a pre-teen who¡¯s just won backstage tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. From her bag she pulls out a mini box of baby sized wine coolers. The patients cringe at her high voice¡ªbut a few enjoyed having a slim blonde dancing to no music and slamming back wine. The door closest to my reception desk opens abruptly and Mason Peterson, my boss, storms from his office. His grey suit clings to his fantastically tight body. He¡¯s in good shape for someone who¡¯s as old as he is¡ªearly forties, maybe. He has a nice face, too. His hair is a golden color, like baked bread and his eyes are a striking blue. He moved his business to Portland, Maine from Seattle four years ago due to a rocky divorce. Beside me Selena stops dancing and I drop my eyes to my blank screen, moving my fingers across the keyboard, pretending to type.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on here, Olivia?¡± He asks sternly.


    Mason is an awesome boss. He lets me get away with a lot of stuff most bosses would fire their employees for and occasionally I abuse it.


    ¡°I have no idea who this girl is.¡± I say. ¡°She must be a patient here.¡±


    I pick up the phone. ¡°Hello, Guyers and Peterson Psychology this is Olivia.¡±


    Mason exhales, placing his hands firmly on his hips. His azure eyes narrow in on me and the disappointment is clear on his face. ¡°Olivia, I¡¯m not an idiot. I know the phone didn¡¯t ring and Selena you¡¯re not allowed to drink in here. How many times do I have to tell you?¡±


    I press my lips tightly together to prevent myself from laughing. It didn¡¯t help any. The laugh I¡¯m holding back ends up coming out of my nose. Damn, Selena. She knows exactly how to turn me back into my old high-school self.


    ¡°Come on guys. How many warnings do I have to give you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Mason.¡± I apologize, wiping laughter tears from my eyes and smudging my mascara slightly. ¡°I had no idea Selena was coming today. She just showed up.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, okay.¡± He doesn¡¯t believe me.


    ¡°Olivia broke up with Blade last night.¡±


    Wow, so apparently that¡¯s information the whole world should know. I shoot Selena an angry glare and she shrugs it off. Selena has a habit of running her mouth off to people I don¡¯t want knowing my business. Mason is a good boss, but he¡¯s also persistent. I¡¯ve lost count of how many times he has asked me out to dinner.


    ¡°It¡¯s about time.¡± Mason sighs. ¡°That guy was an asshole. How are you holding up?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°Surprisingly well, actually.¡± I made it out of bed so that¡¯s a start.


    ¡°Good.¡± He pulls his cell phone from his back pocket and dials a number. ¡°Sally? Hi, it¡¯s Mason. Yeah. Can you come in today? Olivia isn¡¯t feeling well. Okay, great. See you soon.¡±


    I gape at him wide eyed. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m giving you time to relax. You can come back in two days.¡±


    Selena bounces excitedly, but I cross my arms over my chest. I don¡¯t like people doing favors for me, especially people that will expect things in return. ¡°That¡¯s unnecessary.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s happening, now get out of here before you cost me anymore clients.¡±


    I reach under my chair, grab my handbag and step away from the desk. I¡¯m not going to complain about a day off. God knows I need one. Selena grabs her coat, hooks her arm around my elbow and pulls me toward the door. I look back at Mason who positions himself behind the desk. He switches on the monitor and John Matthew¡¯s personal file opens right where I left it. Mason shoots me an annoyed glance. I shrug and push through the door before he changes his mind about letting me go.


    Selena and I pull into a small steakhouse. She fought tooth and nail for Mexican, but I think I made it pretty clear that I never want to eat Mexican again. Ever.


    We sit by a window that showcases the not-so-beautiful scenery of the car park and the full highway.


    ¡°I am so sick of living in this place.¡± Selena groans, taking in the car park.


    ¡°You can say that again.¡±


    She pulls a small wine from her bag and hands it to me. To prevent the inevitable speech that comes with denying alcohol from her, I take it.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry girls.¡± A middle-aged waitress says as she approaches us, pulling a pencil from behind her ear. ¡°You can¡¯t bring your own. You have to buy alcohol here.¡±


    Selena takes my wine back and shoves it into her bag, all while smiling sweetly at the woman. ¡°That¡¯s okay, more for me later.¡±


    I giggle at her as she orders a jug of beer and cheesy fries. I, on the other hand, order a chicken burger and a side of beer battered chips. My stomach grumbles while we wait for our food. I didn¡¯t eat before I left the house this morning¡ªnot the smartest thing considering I was going to work out. My mouth waters as I watch waiters and waitresses bring food to other customers. Just to have something in my stomach I sip at my beer. I cringe and make a strange sound in the base of my throat as I swallow the gross liquid. I hate beer and as a result, I suddenly feel nauseous.


    ¡°So,¡± Selena begins, ignoring my reaction to the beer. ¡°What made you decide you¡¯ve finally had enough of Blade¡¯s shit?¡±


    Honestly, I have no idea where to begin. ¡°Well, he left me at Salsa¡¯s again to go hang out with ¡®his boys¡¯ and when I called him another girl answered his phone.¡± Selena rolls her eyes, unsurprised. ¡°I realized it¡¯s probably going to be like that for the rest of my life and that¡¯s the complete opposite of what I want and what I deserve.¡±


    ¡°Damn straight. If I was a guy, I¡¯d treat you right!¡±


    I smile. ¡°Thanks, Sel.¡±


    Seconds later, the waitress brings our food and Selena dives greedily into her cheesy fries. For a girl so slender and fit, she sure eats and drinks like shit. I¡¯m quite fit and on most days I eat right, but that still didn¡¯t slim the curves of my body. No matter how hard I try, the hips wanted to stay. Sadly, there¡¯s no exercise to slim your bones.


    Selena perks up, like she just had an awesome idea. ¡°Do you want to go out tonight?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I reply instantly.


    I hate clubs. I hate clubs more than I hate cheaters. Clubs make me anxious. Being grinded on by a bunch of random, sleazy dudes and having them breathe their alcohol/cigarette breath all over you is disgusting.


    ¡°Oh come on, O. You never come out with me. You don¡¯t have Blade anymore, live a little.¡±


    I throw a few chips into my mouth and speak to her through mashed potato. ¡°It¡¯s not about that. I hate clubs and you know it.¡±


    She pouts her lips at me and I notice a spattering of salt across them. ¡°Don¡¯t make me go by myself.¡±


    ¡°Selena, you¡¯ve already started drinking and it¡¯s barely eleven a.m. You and I both know you¡¯ll be out cold by four this afternoon¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll make a deal with you.¡± She pauses, grabs her beer and slams back the rest of it before setting the empty glass back down on the table. ¡°If I stop drinking now, you¡¯ll come out with me tonight. Think of my liver. If you say no, I¡¯m going to have to pound it with the rest of that jug of beer, but if you say yes I won¡¯t touch another drop until tonight.¡±


    Sighing, I put a piece of lettuce into my mouth. ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll come out with you, but I don¡¯t want to go to Heaven¡¯s. Blade always goes there.¡±


    Heaven¡¯s is our city¡¯s biggest nightclub and I hate it.


    The jingle of the bell attached to the front door rings, pulling me from my train of thought and I glance up as a bunch of rowdy boys step in. Selena straightens her back and twists in her seat so she can check out the group. Selena loves boys almost as much as she loves booze, although they usually came hand in hand.


    ¡°Yum, look how tall they all are.¡± I can practically hear her mouth pooling with drool.


    While she¡¯s not looking I take a cheesy fry from her plate and pop it into my mouth. ¡°Yeah.¡± I agree, not looking in their direction. I¡¯m disappointed. It¡¯s not really a cheesy fry... It¡¯s just a thick cut chip with some weird cheese salt.


    Selena turns back to me. ¡°Are you even looking?¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡±


    She leans closer. ¡°O, stop being a lesbian and perve at the boys that just walked in. You¡¯re starting to worry me.¡±


    Quickly, I glance up at them and then back down to my plate just to keep her happy.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t count.¡± She snaps under her breath. ¡°Do it again. And actually look like you appreciate it this time.¡±


    I exhale and look at the group of boys who sit a few booths down from us. Two of them had their backs to me so I couldn¡¯t comment on their faces. One is wearing a blue hoodie and he has broad, wide shoulders. The other is a little smaller, wearing a tight black shirt and a red cap. Looking past them I see the two guys facing my direction. They aren¡¯t anything special and one has an annoying moustache.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t they hot?¡± She gasps, kicking my shin a little too hard and making me flinch.


    ¡°Sure.¡± I groan through clenched teeth. When the pain subsides, I continue. ¡°I mean they¡¯re not ugly.¡±


    Selena laughs a bit too loudly and two pairs of eyes fall onto me. My cheeks instantly turn pink.


    ¡°Are they looking?¡± She asks, whispering.


    Not wanting to provoke her, I lie. ¡°Nope.¡±


    I drop my gaze back to my burger and pick it up to take a bite. All the flavors from the chicken and sauce flood into my mouth¡ªtomato, aioli, pickle relish¡ªI almost moan out loud. It¡¯s that amazing.


    ¡°I¡¯m going over there.¡± She turns to slide out of the booth and I drop my burger onto its plate as I reach for her arm. I manage to snag it, forcing her to stay put.


    I swallow my mouthful of food. ¡°Don¡¯t be an idiot. There are four of them.¡±


    She winks at me. ¡°The more the merrier.¡±


    Selena shrugs out of my grasp and straightens her short grey dress. She fluffs her long hair and turns to me. ¡°How do I look?¡±


    I roll my eyes, knowing very well that I¡¯ve already lost. ¡°Go get em¡¯.¡±

 Page 4

    There¡¯s no reason for them not to be interested in Selena. She¡¯s perfect. She struts over to them and I pull Atonement by Ian McEwan from my handbag. When Selena ¡®chats¡¯ to boys, it¡¯s never a five minute thing She drags it out as long as she can and thankfully I¡¯ve come prepared. I¡¯m not very far in, but if it¡¯s anything like the movie, I should love it. Giggles pull my gaze back onto the group. They¡¯ve made room for her to sit down with them, she glances at me and I wrinkle my nose up at her. She¡¯s definitely in her element. Her beautiful, pink-lipped smile is in place and to my own shock, she points a slender index finger my way. I shake my head at her while my stomach churns painfully. The guy with his back to me¡ªthe one in the hoodie¡ªslings his arm over the back of the chair and sets his dark eyes on me. I gasp inwardly as the blood drains from my face. I stare at the over-confident smile and the familiar pair of chocolate irises.Advertisement


    Seth-fucking-Marc.


    Chapter Four


    I open my book and pull it up to cover my burning face. My cheeks are bright red, I can feel it. Seth is intimidating with his wide frame, perfect physique and annoyingly gorgeous face. Please, for the love of God, don¡¯t let him remember me.


    No such luck.


    Two long, calloused fingers curl around the top of my book and pull it from my hands.


    The first thing I notice is a baggy pair of dark navy jeans and a blue hoodie that¡¯s pulled up over his black hair. It¡¯s unzipped, resting against his hard torso and exposing a strip of his bare, delicious midsection. I clear my throat nervously as my eyes lock onto his and I try my absolute hardest to keep my eyes on his and not on the incredibly hard, incredibly tempting strip of flesh.


    ¡°Is there room for one more?¡±


    I open my mouth to tell him it¡¯s taken, but he drops into the seat across from me anyway, placing my book on the table. A toothpick hangs from his tantalizing mouth and I¡¯ve never wanted to be an intimate object so badly in my life. Seth pushes Selena¡¯s fries out of the way and I lean slightly to look past him. I meet Selena¡¯s green eyes. She smiles, giving me the thumbs up. I fight the urge to scowl and I turn my attention back to Seth who¡¯s watching me, intently. He has the same gleam in his eyes that undid me in the gym this morning. His index finger taps the table and my warm centre pulsates every time his finger thumps against the wood. He doesn¡¯t say anything, but I can feel his eyes penetrating my clothes and licking me everywhere. I drag in a deep inhale through my nose in an attempt to control myself.


    ¡°I¡¯m Seth, by the way.¡± He says, pulling the toothpick from his mouth.


    ¡°I know who you are.¡± I cringe inwardly. I didn¡¯t mean for my voice to come out so rudely.


    His head angles to the side as if he¡¯s carefully studying me and one corner of his mouth twitches into a smile. ¡°Is this where you work?¡±


    ¡°No, I, uh, I work as a receptionist for a psychologist.¡± Under the table, I fiddle with my fingers. I¡¯m so nervous and I have absolutely no idea how to handle this situation. ¡°I¡¯m here for lunch with my friend.¡± I nod my head towards Selena with his friends in the booth, but he doesn¡¯t turn around to look.


    His leg brushes against mine, sending a tidal wave of electricity through my body and I pull away. If it were anyone else, I¡¯d have left already, but with Seth... I can¡¯t seem to muster up the courage to get away. Pleasure flares in the dark depths of his eyes and I wonder if I¡¯m going about this the wrong way. He seems to be drawn to the way I regard him. Problem is, I don¡¯t know how else to treat him. He¡¯s sexy as hell and on one hand I want nothing more than for him to tear my clothes off, but on the other, I refuse to be that kind of girl and not to mention the fact he has a girlfriend.


    ¡°If I didn¡¯t know better, Olivia, I¡¯d say you¡¯re repulsed by me.¡±


    I feel my lips purse into a thin line and I think carefully about my reply. ¡°I¡¯m not repulsed. I¡¯m just not that kind of girl.¡±


    Seth pushes the hoodie from his head, exposing his sexy, dark hair and leans forward on the table with his elbows. His hair is short, but messy and my fingers twitch at the urge to run my hands through it.


    ¡°And what kind of girl is that?¡± He asks me in a voice that is so rough it vibrates all my sensitive parts.


    I shrug. ¡°The kind to flirt with a guy who has a girlfriend...¡±


    Surprisingly, shock doesn¡¯t register on his face. Instead, he smiles a full smile that exposes his perfect, white teeth and I can feel myself scowling. He leans back against the booth and the arms of his hoodie tighten as he folds his thick, strong forearms over each other. ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°The pretty brunette with the big fake boobs...¡±


    He glances at my chest before looking back at my face, grinning unapologetically. My scowl deepens because he doesn¡¯t seem to care that I saw him do it. ¡°I don¡¯t do girlfriends.¡±


    His words deflate a balloon in my chest I didn¡¯t even know existed and I glance out the window toward the car park.


    ¡°I have girls that I sleep with, but that¡¯s the extent of it.¡±


    I drag my gaze back to Seth¡¯s face, my brows pulled together. ¡°So you¡¯re single?¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°I prefer the term free.¡±


    Free. I like that. As of last night, I¡¯m free too and my God is it refreshing. I stick a chip in my mouth and glance awkwardly around the steakhouse. I feel so out of place having this big, sexy man talking to me.


    ¡°Now that we¡¯ve cleared the girlfriend issue up,¡± His leg leans against mine and he sticks the toothpick back in his mouth. He flicks it subtly across his moist bottom lip a few times, his tongue barely seen behind his supple lips. ¡°What do we do now?¡±


    His tone implies so many things, but I have no idea what he actually means. I watch him as he sits before me with his broad shoulders and a snippet of his chest tattoo sticking out from underneath his jacket. His eyes drop from mine and lock intently on my lips. The playful glimmer that had been in them just moments ago disappeared, and they seem to be burning¡ªsmoldering darkly at me from across the table. I open my mouth ready to comply with whatever he wants to do, until Selena clears her throat, bringing me back to my senses. Even if he is ¡®free¡¯ I¡¯m still not the kind of girl that has sex with someone I barely know... or at least I don¡¯t think I am. Seth licks his lips in frustration before turning his attention to Selena. I see her chest rise and fall rapidly under his gaze. At least I¡¯m not the only one affected by his presence.


    ¡°O,¡± She says, turning her eyes on me. ¡°We have to go.¡±


    She¡¯s agitated. I can tell by the way she rubs her fingers together at her sides and purses her pink lips. I wonder what those boys said to her.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I say to him for the second time to day. ¡°I have to go.¡±


    I reach across and grab my book before sliding it back into my handbag. I glance at my plate. I only managed to take one bite out of my burger and I¡¯m still hungry. I shuffle out of the booth, keeping my eyes on the table. When I turn away from the booth I still feel his eyes on me¡ªanalyzing me.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see you around.¡± He calls to me.


    I glance over my shoulder and give him a slight smile. His words thrill me because it almost sounds like a guarantee. Selena has a firm grip on my forearm as she drags me from the steakhouse. Before we exit she flips off the group of boys and they laugh loudly. When we¡¯re outside and out of earshot I ask her what happened.


    ¡°They¡¯re gross.¡± She states simply.


    I don¡¯t press the unlock button on my keys and she stands at the passenger door impatiently waiting for me to unlock it. ¡°Why are they gross?¡±


    ¡°They thought I was a prostitute and they wanted to pay for blowjobs in the bathroom.¡±


    The way her eyebrows pull together, forming a small wrinkle on the bridge of her nose makes me erupt with laughter. I prop my back against the car, leaning all of my weight onto it as my stomach begins to burn.


    ¡°It¡¯s not funny.¡± Selena groans.


    Tears squeeze their way out of the corner of my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not laughing because of what they said.¡± I manage to say in between deep breaths of air. ¡°I¡¯m laughing because you look so disgusted!¡±


    ¡°I am disgusted.¡± The wind blows a soft, blonde curl into her face and she swipes at it. ¡°Can you unlock the God damn car so we can get out of here?¡±


    When I press the button, she wastes no time in diving into the car. I inhale a few times before opening the door and sliding in behind the wheel.


    ¡°Oh, shit.¡± Selena swears, dropping her face into her hands.


    ¡°What?¡± I ask, as my chest hiccups with a remaining giggle.


    ¡°I left my handbag inside.¡±


    ¡°Well I¡¯m not going back to get it.¡± No way.


    Selena turns in her seat so the majority of her body is facing me. Her big, green eyes hold a pleading gleam as she presses her palms together. ¡°Please, O! Please don¡¯t make me go back in there. I¡¯m embarrassed enough as it is.¡±


    ¡°Do I look like I¡¯m eager to go back in there?¡±


    ¡°You should be. Your guy was a total babe and he was so into you.¡±


    No, he was into the fact that I have a vagina, not me as a person. I squeeze the steering wheel.


    ¡°He¡¯s not my guy.¡± Is all I manage to say.


    ¡°Just do it for me and we don¡¯t have to go clubbing tonight. We¡ª¡±


    Before she finishes her sentence I¡¯m out of the car and marching back to the steakhouse. I¡¯d do anything to get out of clubbing. I open the door and the bell rings. I allow myself one deep, uneven breath before lifting my gaze from the floor. Various sets of eyes flicker to me, but the only pair I see are the brown ones connected to such a handsome face. My mouth instantly goes dry and I hate myself for it. He leans against the back of his friends¡¯ booth with Selena¡¯s handbag tucked nicely under his arm. His hands are stuffed into the front pockets of his jeans and inwardly, I shake my head at myself. I really need to man up. I hate feeling so little and vulnerable in front of him¡ªin front of a stranger. I force myself to walk towards him, holding my hand out for Selena¡¯s bag. He glances at my palm with a smirk¡ªit¡¯s more of a corner lip twitch, but I still want to suck it off his face.


    I clear my throat. ¡°Can I have my friend¡¯s handbag, please?¡±


    Surprisingly, he hands it to me without a word and I take it. Quickly, I turn on my heel and I head for the door, but before I make it, his friend calls out to me.


    ¡°Hey, you!¡±


    I let out a slow exhale and turn, forcing my politest smile. The guy with the lousy moustache smiles at me, exposing his teeth.


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Tell her we¡¯ll pay her extra if she comes back in and I¡¯ll throw in double if those full, pink lips of yours are willing to participate.¡± He smiles at me like I¡¯m on the price is right and I¡¯ve just received an awesome deal. I blink at him, repeatedly. What. A. Douchebag.


    The man in the red cap looks over his shoulder at me and shakes his head, embarrassed by his friend¡¯s behavior. I look at Seth and his amused expression becomes murderous as he turns to his friend.


    ¡°Show some fucking respect.¡± He demands in a voice that is low and aggressive, startling me.


    Moustache-face slumps a little in his seat and when his hazel eyes fall back onto me, I turn my attention back to Seth.


    ¡°Thanks, but I can defend myself.¡±


    I storm from the steakhouse and don¡¯t hear the door close behind me as I step down the small, concrete stairs. Dread slithers through my tummy because I just know he¡¯s behind me.


    ¡°Olivia!¡± Seth calls, forcing me to slow my pace. I whirl around to face him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about my friends. They tend to get a little... stupid in the presence of beautiful women.¡±


    My stomach flutters and I drop my sight to the bland concrete for a split second. I never would have expected him to regard me as a ¡®beautiful woman¡¯.


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault. We can¡¯t control our friend¡¯s stupidity, no matter how much we want to.¡± I say with a smile. ¡°See you.¡±


    Turning away from him is difficult, but I manage just fine. I make sure I keep my gaze low as I climb back into the car and toss Selena¡¯s handbag onto her lap. She watches me as I reverse from the car park and onto the highway. I pretend not to notice her staring at me, but I do and it¡¯s creeping me out.


    ¡°Hello?¡±


    I look at her briefly. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Um, a hottie chases you from the steakhouse and you¡¯re not telling me anything.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to tell you. He had your handbag and I got it back. He followed me out to the car park to apologize for his friend¡¯s attitudes.¡±


    She clasps her hand over her chest. ¡°What a sweetheart. Are you seeing him?¡±


    I scoff and maybe push a little too hard on the accelerator. ¡°What? No, we met briefly at the gym this morning and¡ª¡±


    ¡°Shut up!¡± She squeals. ¡°He is what made you forget to text me back? Did you, you know?¡± You know? How old are we, twelve? She erupts into a fit of giggles and I feel my cheeks burning.


    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t. I¡¯m not you.¡±


    Selena doesn¡¯t have the shortest or cleanest sexual relations record book and she knows it. Selena raises her hands, flashing me her palms in defeat. ¡°Okay, okay, but if you do, you better tell me.¡±


    I roll my eyes. ¡°Whatever.¡±


    After the steakhouse Selena and I stay at my house for the rest of the day. We didn¡¯t do much. She helped me clean and prepare dinner then we went down to the store to buy snacks for our movie night. When we were back at home I strangely couldn¡¯t stop thinking about Blade. I scroll to his name on my contact list and stare at it.

 Page 5

    ¡°Maybe I should call him...¡± I tell Selena as she puts the chicken on the portable grill.Advertisement


    ¡°Call who?¡±


    ¡°Blade.¡±


    She stops what she¡¯s doing and faces me. Without warning, her hand firmly slaps my cheek, tossing my head to the side. My skin burns and anger prickles across my flesh.


    ¡°What the hell, Selena?¡±


    She pulls my phone from my hands and tosses it into the lounge room. It bounces off a fluffy, blue cushion and then onto my turquoise shaggy rug. ¡°You cannot call him. He¡¯ll use whatever sneaky shit he can to weasel his way back into your life. He cheated on you¡ªa million times. You deserve someone better than him.¡±


    ¡°I know, but I should call him and see if he¡¯s okay.¡±


    She shook her head as she tied her curls into a bun on the top of her head. ¡°He¡¯s fine. Don¡¯t convince yourself that he¡¯s sitting at home staring at the phone waiting for you to call because he isn¡¯t. He¡¯ll be out somewhere hitting on girls and drinking until he passes out. Fuck that noise.¡±


    I turn from her to pour Caesar sauce onto the salad mix. I know I¡¯m not the one who did the wrong thing, but am I supposed to let six years go down the drain like it meant nothing? Is that how it works? Six years of your life is a long time to give to someone. I should at least clear the air between us so it makes me feel better about wasting so much time.


    Selena finishes mixing the chicken with the salad and leaves it to cool.


    ¡°I need to pee.¡± She announces, leaving the kitchen in pursuit of the toilet.


    As soon as I hear the bathroom door close I run for my phone and step outside. I dial Blade¡¯s number and for the first time ever, he answers immediately.


    ¡°Are you fucking a guy named Seth Marc?¡± There¡¯s no warmth to his voice and it startles me.


    ¡°Hello to you too...¡±


    ¡°Answer me.¡±


    ¡°Who told you that? And how do you even know who he is? He¡¯s new to town.¡±


    ¡°A friend saw you with him at the steakhouse and everyone who follows amateur MMA knows who he is. I don¡¯t want you seeing him.¡±


    The demand in his voice instantly pisses me off. How dare he tell me what to do?


    ¡°I can see whoever I want to see. We aren¡¯t together anymore, remember? I broke up with you.¡±


    I don¡¯t deny whether or not I¡¯m seeing Seth. Blade thinks I¡¯m boring and plain so I want him to see that other men¡ªsexy men¡ªwant me. I want him to see that he messed up.


    ¡°Olly,¡± Blade breathes into the phone. ¡°This guy beats people for a living. I don¡¯t want you anywhere near him.¡± His tone takes a softer edge and it almost gets to me until I hear a girl in the background telling him to get back into the shower. I¡¯m not going to lie, it hurt. Why did I even call him in the first place? I like the air between us just as it is¡ªdirty¡ªlike him.


    ¡°I¡¯ll continue to see Seth if I want to.¡± I¡¯m sure he can hear the tremor in my voice, but I¡¯m thankful he can¡¯t see my hands shaking. ¡°You don¡¯t own me, no one does!¡± I hang up as the bathroom door opens.


    Selena narrows her green eyes at me, folding her arms tightly across her chest. ¡°Please tell me you did not just call Blade.¡±


    I push past her. ¡°Yep and you¡¯ll be glad to know it¡¯s still over between us.¡±


    I throw my phone onto the couch and drop into a chair at the kitchen table. The look of the grilled chicken salad makes my mouth water. Regardless of how pissed off I am, a girl¡¯s gotta eat. My stomach growls and I¡¯m past the point of being hungry. I feel kind of nauseous, but everything smells so good. I dig into my salad eating large mouthfuls of chicken and lettuce, swallowing gratefully.


    ¡°So,¡± Selena begins, picking at her salad. ¡°Are you going to tell me what happened with Blade?¡±


    ¡°I kind of told him I had a new boyfriend.¡± I say through a mouthful of food.


    Her eyes widen. ¡°What did he say?¡±


    ¡°That he doesn¡¯t want me to see him.¡±


    ¡°Him?¡±


    ¡°I told him I¡¯m dating Seth.¡±


    ¡°Who¡¯s Seth?¡±


    What? I¡¯m about to throw my fork at her. ¡°The guy from the steakhouse.¡±


    She clasps a manicured hand over her mouth and laughs through the gaps between her slender fingers. ¡°Jesus, O. Why¡¯d you do that?¡±


    I almost chuckle. ¡°Because Blade seems to think I¡¯m plain and no one else would want me. I want him to see that I am desirable to men¡ªespecially someone like Seth who, let¡¯s face it, has a face and a body carved by God himself. He can have any girl he wants.¡±


    ¡°Not every girl.¡± Selena says, trying to make a statement. I angle my head and narrow my eyes at her, challenging her. Even Selena knows all a handsome guy has to do is bat an eyelid at her and she¡¯ll go with it¡ªhe doesn¡¯t even have to be handsome half the time.


    She chews on a piece of lettuce, giggling. ¡°I totally lied. I¡¯d let him have me. Hell, if he was the one that asked for a blow job in the bathroom I¡¯d do it and I¡¯d pay him.¡±


    I spit salad all over the table, unable to contain my laughter. Selena laughs too and soon, the conversation between Blade and I falls from thought. All I want to do is hang out with my best friend.


    Chapter Five


    Spending last night eating snacks and watching Mean Girls was exactly what the doctor ordered. After I dropped Selena at her father¡¯s law firm, I went to the gym. I¡¯m going to have to spend extra time on the treadmills today if I want to burn off all of the sugar and Trans fats I ate last night. It was worth it though.


    I approach the building and as my fingers curl around the long door handle, I realize I¡¯m holding my breath. I let it go slowly and open the door. Do not look at him. Do not look at him. I fail miserably and my eyes betray me, darting straight to where he was standing yesterday of their own accord. I pout when my gaze falls onto an empty space.


    Seth isn¡¯t here.


    Suddenly, my motivation to be at the gym depletes.


    ¡°Olivia!¡± My dad calls from the window in the middle of the wall at least two stories up. He waves his hand in front of him, gesturing for me to come up the stairs.


    I stroll to Dad¡¯s office, wishing I was back in bed sleeping. I step in and close the door behind me. Dad¡¯s office is his sacred place and I feel uncomfortable being here surrounded by memorabilia of his favorite martial artists and boxers in glass cases on the wall. Mom wouldn¡¯t let him have a ¡®man cave¡¯ at home, so he started one at work. Sometimes I worry he takes things too far.


    ¡°Hey, Dad.¡± I say, dropping into a comfy chair opposite his desk.


    He rises from his chair and shrugs on a jacket. ¡°Olly, I need a favor.¡±


    His words leave an unsettling feeling in my stomach, or maybe it¡¯s the use of my nickname. Yuck. ¡°...okay.¡±


    ¡°I need you to keep an eye on the gym for me today. Derrick is away on holiday and I have no one to run this place. I have a few doctors¡¯ appointments for random tests.¡± He flicks his wrist like it¡¯s no big deal and suddenly I become concerned. ¡°But I should be back in a few hours.¡±


    ¡°Is everything okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, everything is fine. Your mother is just worried about my health.¡± He rolls his big, puppy dog eyes and I smile.


    ¡°Sure, I can do that for you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a good kid.¡± He stretches his arms out to me for a hug and I jump into them. His arms wrap around me and I¡¯m engulfed by that typical father smell. I don¡¯t even know how to describe it. Regardless, it¡¯s comforting. ¡°I¡¯d never put this stress on you if your brother was here.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not stress, Dad. It¡¯s only for a day. I think I can handle it.¡±


    He hands me a long list of all the things I need to do¡ªthings that he refuses to hire people to do when he opened this joint up when I was little. Things like; wiping down the equipment, collecting towels, emptying spit buckets, evaluating machines and loads of other bullshit jobs my dad shouldn¡¯t have to do. He adjusts a photo of my brother and me as children before placing a soft kiss on my cheek. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    I follow him from the office and as we cross the gym floor to the front door, I see Seth.


    He¡¯s here.


    He unzips his black hoodie and throws it onto a vacant chair. His fingers curl around the hem of his plain, white t-shirt and he pulls it over his head, exposing a delicious, never ending amount of muscle. His lips are pursed into a thin line as he takes to the bag bare handed. The way his fists connect with raw power and anger has me thinking something is wrong with him. He shows his teeth slightly each time his fists slam the bag and his brows are wrinkled, aging him. Pushing him to the back of my mind, I continue to walk Dad to the car and I wave him off before re-entering the gym. My phone vibrates and I pull it from my back pocket.


    FROM: BLADE 8:59 A.M.


    This is the last time I¡¯m warning


    you. Stop seeing that guy.


    Wow. There¡¯s nothing like a text from an ex telling you how to live your life to put you in a bad mood. I feel my face frowning and it hurts. I hate frowning.


    TO: BLADE 9:00 A.M.


    Leave me alone.


    I feel my phone vibrating over and over in my pocket, but I don¡¯t answer it. I have shit to do. It¡¯s only nine a.m. and there are already a few towels littering the equipment. I do a quick circle of the floor, picking up towels and wiping down damp equipment. Soon, I¡¯ll have to spray them so they¡¯re clean and sterile for the next person.


    Joy.


    I purposely left the training rooms and boxing area for last. Secretly, I¡¯m hoping Seth will be finished by the time I have to go to that section. I don¡¯t want to feel...whatever I feel when I¡¯m around him. I¡¯m not that kind of girl, but he makes me wish I was¡­ and I hate it. It makes me feel cheap and¡­ dirty.


    Reluctantly, I enter his area. I do a quick scan and thankfully there are no towels. I turn on my heel, smiling. I think it¡¯s time for a well deserved break in Dad¡¯s office.


    ¡°Wait,¡± Seth¡¯s deep voice calls out to me and I freeze as dread slithers through my stomach.


    I turn to face him and his expression would be completely sexy if the look in his eyes isn¡¯t so unreadable. The white towel he holds in his hand falls to the ground. ¡°You forgot one.¡±


    I glance at the towel and then back to Seth¡¯s stern face. I have no idea what he¡¯s doing or what game he¡¯s playing. Slowly, I make my way over to him. His face is unapologetic, as usual. I frown. There¡¯s no lip twitch or warmth to his gaze. He must be really pissed off. Unfortunately for him I don¡¯t feel like doing what he says¡ªnot today. I¡¯m pissed off, too. I might have picked up the towel if another male hadn¡¯t already demanded me to do something¡ªor to stop doing something in Blade¡¯s case. I stand before the huge, hunk of muscle and I¡¯m in no way suddenly immune to the authority that¡¯s pouring off of him, but I don¡¯t like the way he spoke to me. I press my index finger against his hard, moist chest, doing my best to ignore the electrical current shooting through the tip of my finger and I produce my best ¡®fuck you¡¯ smile. ¡°Pick up your own damn towel.¡±


    I don¡¯t walk away, even though I planned to in my head. I can¡¯t and I have no fucking idea why. He¡¯s in my personal space again and I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to be able to escape this time. Our eyes stay locked, keeping each other in place. His hand finds my hip and my breath catches in my throat as he grips it, pulling me toward him. I¡¯m breathless over his touch and he doesn¡¯t seem the least bit affected by me. It feels like my chest is about to explode as my heart stutters, stops, then picks up again at an erratic pace. I stare at his lips, knowing exactly how they feel against my own skin. His face is still mad, but a hint of pleasure flares in his dark eyes as I go with his hand and step a little closer to his body. The finger I had on his chest flattens so my whole palm presses firmly against his flesh and I can feel his heart beat, pounding as fast as mine is. The silence between us is charged with electricity and a tingling begins at the center of my stomach, radiating south.


    Beside us, a woman clears her throat and I jump, unaware that I¡¯ve completely lost track of where I am. Seth¡¯s jaw tenses perceptibly when he shifts his gaze to her. The girl is blonde and beautiful, definitely supermodel material. Her tight blue dress clings perfectly to her build and accentuates her medium sized fake boobs. Yep. She¡¯s definitely here for him. She bats her long, black eyelashes at him, but even I can see the blue eyes that glower at him from underneath them. I look at Seth, but he doesn¡¯t remove his hand from my hip and now that she¡¯s here I decide it¡¯s making me uncomfortable. I pry his fingers from my hip and he drops his hand back to his side. I turn away from them and try my hardest to appear casual as I stroll out of that section. He speaks in a low tone to the girl and she replies in a voice that is so winey and sugary it makes me nauseous. My casual steps turn fast as I move my legs as fast as they¡¯ll go¡ªwithout calling it running¡ªall the way to my dad¡¯s office. Once I¡¯m there, I close the door and lean against it. Never in a million years would I have thought Dad¡¯s creepy MMA shrine office would bring me comfort. I feel pressure on my hip, like his hand is still there and it¡¯s radiating pleasure through my entire being. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. When I regain my composure, I make my way over to the window. Seth is walking toward the shower room with his clothes in his hand and the girl is leaving the gym with lines of mascara running down her face.


    Poor girl.


    I truly feel sorry for her and the one that came in for him yesterday. I never want to be one of those girls. Does he even make it clear beforehand that he doesn¡¯t want anything to do with them after sex¡ªassuming that they¡¯ve even had sex? I shake my head. Of course he¡¯s had sex with every girl that has come in for him so far. Seth seems like a very sexual person and probably has a sexual appetite that I would never be able to sate. I fall into my dad¡¯s chair and place my feet on his big, oak desk. I ponder what I¡¯m going to do tonight when I leave here. Selena isn¡¯t going to want to sit around watching movies again. Even last night she was finding it difficult to sit in one place. I normally spend my nights waiting for Blade or with Blade. We usually watch movies and cook together. Sometimes, we¡¯d play cards or a board game¡­ I realize I¡¯m stuck in a comfort zone¡ªa routine. The thought of going home to nothing terrifies me. It makes me anxious and so I decide to do something completely uncharacteristic of me. I can¡¯t break my ¡®Blade routine¡¯ at home by myself. I need to go out. I pull my phone out of my pocket and clear all the missed calls from Blade off my notifications bar. Then, I text Selena.

 Page 6

    TO: SELENA TIME: 9:40 A.M.Advertisement


    Be at mine at 10 tonight.


    We¡¯re going out!!


    She replies instantly.


    FROM: SELENA TIME: 9:40 A.M.


    Shit yeah! Count me in!


    Love you, O.


    Xo


    At the gym, I stayed in Dad¡¯s office until he returned. We didn¡¯t have many people come in today so nothing was out of place. Seth left after his shower and I managed to pay a young boy seven dollars to wipe the machines down with an environmentally friendly antiseptic while his mom ran the treadmill.


    ¡°Thanks again, Olly.¡± Dad says as I open the door to leave his office.


    ¡°Anytime, Pops. You know I¡¯m here whenever you need me.¡±


    I go to exit the door, but his voice stops me. ¡°Have you thought about dinner on Sunday?¡±


    Crap. It¡¯s awkward when someone takes you up on an empty gesture. I want to go to dinner at my parents house, I do, but I don¡¯t want to deal with them both teaming up on me to move back home just to fill their empty nest.


    ¡°I promise I won¡¯t harass you about moving back in.¡± He says, stuffing his hand into the pockets of his sweat pants. ¡°I can¡¯t speak for your mother though. You know how she is.¡±


    I sigh. ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll come to dinner, but tell Mom that she doesn¡¯t have to go all out and a small dinner will be fine. Also, if you could tell her to keep the childhood movies boxed I¡¯ll be more likely to show up.¡±


    Dad smiles. ¡°I¡¯ll see what I can do. Love you.¡±


    He turns to look out the window.


    ¡°Love you, too.¡± I say as I close the door behind me.


    I hate clubbing. The last time I went clubbing was Selena¡¯s (real) birthday six months ago and because I don¡¯t usually go clubbing my range of sexy, short dresses is limited. I have to choose between a black halter neck and a coral off the shoulder cocktail dress. Personally, I¡¯d rather not wear either.


    I throw both of the dresses on the floor and fall back onto my bed with a loud sigh. The sun went down an hour ago and Selena is meant to be here three hours from now. I wonder if she¡¯ll hate me if I cancel. A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts. I throw a dressing gown on over my black, lacy underwear and I stroll to the door. When I open it, I see Selena¡¯s make-up free face¡ªthat¡¯s a first for her. She doesn¡¯t need make-up, she has one of those naturally beautiful faces. You know, the ones that have thick eyelashes, high cheekbones, plump lips and a flawless complexion to boot.


    ¡°You¡¯re early. Very early.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°I got too excited about tonight. Stop staring at me. I¡¯m hideous.¡±


    I choke on a laugh as she pushes past me. Selena pulls along a small, purple suitcase behind her.


    ¡°Did your dad finally kick your ass to the curb?¡± I ask, closing the door.


    ¡°No, this is for tonight.¡± Selena wheels the suitcase into my bedroom and I follow closely behind her. She takes one look at the dresses on the floor and smiles at me. ¡°Thank God you¡¯re not wearing either of those.¡±


    Feigning insult, I demand. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with them?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re from last year. That¡¯s what.¡±


    She unzips her suitcase and pulls a short and no doubt tight, red dress from it. I see it and the only thing that comes to mind is: WHORE.


    ¡°I am not wearing that.¡±


    She pouts. ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Because it¡¯s too outrageous... I want to have fun and talk to boys not wind up in a ditch by the end of the night.¡±


    She rolls her eyes. ¡°God, you sound just like your mother.¡± I open my mouth to protest, but she raises her hand. ¡°You need to relax. This is tame compared to what other girls will be wearing, trust me.¡±


    Selena holds the dress out in front of her and on closer examination I may have over-exaggerated. It isn¡¯t that bad. I mean, the small cut out in between the breasts wasn¡¯t too exposing, I suppose. And I assume Selena isn¡¯t really giving me a choice. I took the dress and drop my dressing gown.


    ¡°Look at you, you hottie!¡± Selena giggled. ¡°Going to the gym is really paying off. You¡¯re so fit and you¡¯ve managed to keep those big ole¡¯ boobies of yours perky! Maybe I should start going to the gym.¡±


    She steps forward, her hands outstretched to touch me and I swat her away, unable to keep a laugh from my lips. ¡°You¡¯re such a lesbian, stop it.¡±


    I slide into the dress and have Selena zip it up. When it¡¯s on and I do a little twirl, her mouth drops open and she clasps her hands over her chest.


    ¡°You look amazing!¡± She squeals. ¡°I knew this dress would look good on you.¡±


    I walk over to my mirror and I¡¯m absolutely floored by how good it looks on me. Red is definitely my color.


    ¡°Now sit.¡± Selena demands and I take few steps back to sit on the edge of my bed. She pulls a large metal box from her suitcase and opens it. I¡¯m amazed by how much make-up she has. She immediately gets to work with her foundations and powders and pink things and black things. I¡¯m sure they have proper names, but they were lost on me. I have no idea.


    When Selena is done creating her masterpiece she steps away from me, giving me full view of myself in the mirror. I don¡¯t recognize myself. My creamy skin is flawless and my green eyes are brought out by a black color Selena refers to as ¡®shimmering onyx¡¯. My lips are glossy and my long, chocolate hair cascades in a straight line down my back.


    ¡°Whoa.¡± Is all I can say.


    ¡°I know. I¡¯m good.¡±


    I find a pair of white stilettos in my wardrobe and I slip them on. I¡¯m not one to compliment myself, but damn I look sexy. In fact I¡¯m feeling so good about myself I might even entertain the idea of bringing a stranger home with me.


    Or not.


    Most likely not.


    Selena spends almost two hours doing herself up and if I looked like a supermodel when she was done with me, she looked like a super-supermodel. Her dark, violet dress has a strapless, sweetheart cut and it cuts off mid-thigh. Her long, blonde ringlets are straightened against her back and she flicks her hair to either side as she clips in two golden hoops.


    ¡°I scheduled a taxi to come get us at nine p.m.¡±


    I look at the clock. ¡°That¡¯s now.¡±


    Sure enough a honk sounds outside and Selena takes me by the elbow. She eagerly drags me from the house before I get a chance to change my mind about tonight.


    We¡¯re in the taxi and the further I get from home the stronger the unsettling feeling in my stomach grows. Now that I¡¯m out and on my way to a club, I really wish I didn¡¯t text Selena and suggest it.


    We arrive at Lux¡¯s Lounge Bar and the security guard lets us straight in because he and Selena are friends. Of course they are. She¡¯s probably friends with all of the staff inside. I¡¯ve never been to Lux¡¯s before and as we step into the club I¡¯m blown away. It¡¯s not like the other clubs I¡¯ve been to. Upscale is an understatement. People litter the surrounding couches and the floor is illumined by blue L.E.D lights that lead the way to the bar directly in front of us. It¡¯s impossible to miss. It¡¯s huge, white and shiny. Five bartenders man the bar and they¡¯re surrounded by people shouting orders at them. Not once do the smiles leave their faces.


    This place oozes sterile elegance and maybe I¡¯ll enjoy myself after all. Selena entwines her fingers in mine and pulls me along beside her to the bar. We spend a long while there, receiving free drinks from boys who want to dance. Some were hot and some were...not. Either way, we promised them we¡¯ll dance later. I just hope they pass out before then. When I¡¯ve probably had too much to drink, we leave the bar and head to the dance floor. We dance hard and fast, we sway our hips and only dance with each other. I notice that Selena is really trying to show me a good time. Not once has she batted an eyelid at a guy even though loads of them have given her attention. She wants me to see that tonight is about me, her and our friendship. It¡¯s exactly what I need.


    I spoke too soon as hands seize my waist pulling me away from Selena.


    ¡°Dance with me.¡± He mutters into my ear.


    I stare at her wide eyed as the guy grinds me. ¡®Help me¡¯ I mouth to Selena, but she raises her eyebrows and shrugs, signaling for me to turn around. Reluctantly, I turn around and the guy that¡¯s practically groping me isn¡¯t that bad. He has dark, longish hair that curls under his chin and his eyes are a beautiful blue that reflect the glowing floor beneath us. Under his business outfit, I feel his rock hard body. My head swims with alcohol and my usual careful self doesn¡¯t really care. Screw it. I¡¯m going to go along with it. I dance with him, letting his hands roam all over me. It doesn¡¯t provoke a thrilling feeling in my stomach like Seth¡¯s eyes do, but he¡¯s gentleman enough not to dive into my bra or my panties and I appreciate that. The stranger pulls me around so I¡¯m facing the other direction and my ass presses against his...you know. Suddenly I¡¯m uncomfortable and I manage to sober up just a little. This isn¡¯t me. I try to step away from the man, but his hands hold me firmly in place. I eagerly search the crowd for Selena, but I can¡¯t see her. Lights flicker above me, catching my attention. It¡¯s the VIP area. A fair few people are leaning against the railing watching the dancers beneath them. Others are lounging around on couches laughing underneath immaculate chandeliers. I survey them with blurry vision until I catch a familiar pair of eyes, instantly stopping me in my tracks.


    Seth.


    His appearance hits me like a ton of bricks and I sober up even more. Suddenly, I¡¯m embarrassed for grinding with the stranger. The stranger doesn¡¯t notice I no longer want to dance and he pulls me even closer to him. His head angles and his warm tongue travels down the side of my neck before pressing his lips eagerly against my skin. I feel like I¡¯m going to heave. My head spins and my legs wobble. Seth¡¯s eyes remain on me the entire time and his friend, the one that was wearing a red cap at the steakhouse, walks over to chat to him. His gaze is intimidating and once again I can¡¯t look away from him. He looks positively amazing in a long black sleeved shirt that¡¯s folded up to his elbows, exposing his thick forearms. He brings his beer bottle to his lips and takes a sip. I wish I was that beer bottle. A warm hand wraps harshly around my arm, yanking me from the stranger¡¯s grasp and away from Seth¡¯s face. I stumble through the crowd, letting whoever is pulling me drag me away from the dance floor. When we break away from the dancers, I¡¯m amazed I didn¡¯t trip in my ridiculously high heels. The person dragging me turns to face me.


    ¡°Blade?¡± I ask, confused that he¡¯s here.


    He never comes here. He¡¯s wearing his usual club get up¡ªa weird t-shirt with random naked girls on it and a pair of loose jeans. His lips move quickly, but I can¡¯t hear anything. The music is drowning him out. ¡°What?¡±


    He takes me by the arm again and pulls me from the club via a side door. I stumble into an empty alleyway that smells like booze, piss and vomit.


    His eyes narrow in on me, his nostrils flaring. Wow, you¡¯d think I just cheated on him. ¡°What the hell are you doing, Olivia?¡±


    ¡°I was dancing.¡±


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t dancing. He had his mouth all over you!¡±


    Is it disgusting of me to feel a little happy that Blade¡¯s so pissed off?


    ¡°So? I can do whatever I want. I¡¯m single.¡±


    ¡°No, you¡¯re not. You¡¯re mine!¡±


    I step toward him, pointing my finger less than an inch from his nose. He grabs at my hand, pressing it against his chest. His body feels completely different now that I¡¯ve had them on Seth¡¯s large chest. Blade feels like a child under my knuckles.


    ¡°I¡¯m not yours. I¡¯m not something that can be owned.¡± I try to step away from him, but his free hand takes a hold of my hips and he pulls me into him.


    ¡°Baby, please. I¡¯m sorry... seeing you with that guy hurt me. You¡¯re hurting me.¡±


    I clench my fists until the skin over my knuckles turns white. How dare he say a thing like that? I shove him hard and he stumbles enough to let me go.


    ¡°I¡¯m hurting you? What about me?¡± I¡¯m shouting and I don¡¯t even care. Tears pool in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. ¡°You hurt me! That¡¯s why we¡¯re in this mess. You don¡¯t care about me. You¡¯re just comfortable¡ªstuck in a routine.¡±


    ¡°Olly, baby...¡±


    I have to get him to see that I¡¯m not playing this time. I have to hit him where it hurts. ¡°I don¡¯t love you and I haven¡¯t for a long time. It just took me this long to realize it.¡±


    I go to walk away but he grabs at me again, holding me tightly against him. ¡°I¡¯m not letting you go back in there.¡±


    ¡°Last I checked this is still a free country.¡± Seth¡¯s deep voice rings throughout the alleyway. Blade releases me and I stumble backwards as warm, feminine hands wrap around my shoulders.


    ¡°You okay?¡± Selena whispers, pulling me into her and I nod my head.


    She tugs me back until I¡¯m standing safely beside Seth.


    ¡°I forgot you had a boyfriend.¡± Blade states, spitting on the floor.


    Shit.


    Seth looks down at me, his eyebrow raised. Thank God the alleyway isn¡¯t lit up otherwise everyone will see my undoubtedly scarlet face. I nod my head quickly, pleadingly. The last thing I want is to look stupid in front of Blade. I¡¯ve looked stupid enough because of him.


    ¡°She does.¡± Seth¡¯s large, calloused hand wraps around my wrist and he pulls me slightly behind him. I gasp at the contact of our flesh.


    Blade crosses his arms over his chest not looking the slightest bit impressed. ¡°Where were you when she was practically fucking a guy on the dance floor?¡±

 Page 7

    Seth shrugs. ¡°Around.¡± I can almost hear the smile on his lips. ¡°I like to watch.¡±Advertisement


    Blade¡¯s icy, blue eyes glower at Seth and then at me. ¡°You sure know how to pick em¡¯, Olivia.¡±


    I manage a smile, inching closer to Seth¡ªso close my breast rubs against his arm. ¡°You¡¯re proof of that.¡± I reply, remembering to breathe.


    He steps closer and I stiffen. Seth would absolutely crush Blade and even though he¡¯s a dick, I don¡¯t want him to get hurt. A confident smile spreads over Seth¡¯s lips, daring Blade to try something. Blade has his wits about him tonight because he doesn¡¯t do anything to provoke Seth. Instead, he growls. ¡°Don¡¯t get too comfortable because we¡¯re still together. We¡¯re just having a disagreement.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Selena interjects. ¡°You¡¯re finished.¡±


    Blade storms away and we watch him until he disappears from the alleyway. Seth drops my wrist and I turn to Selena. She wraps her arms around my shoulders again, pulling me into her. She holds me for a little while. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about him.¡±


    I withdrew from her and wipe my eyes.


    ¡°Do you want to go home?¡± She asks.


    ¡°Yes.¡± My night is ruined. There¡¯s no coming back from this and more alcohol will only make it worse.


    ¡°I can take her.¡± Seth offers.


    I open my mouth to protest, but Selena cuts me off. ¡°How much have you had to drink?¡±


    ¡°One beer. I¡¯m fine to drive. ¡°


    I step away from Selena and attempt to turn to Seth¡ªattempt being the keyword. My shoe snags on something and I fall. I squeeze my eyes shut and brace for impact only it never comes. When I realize I haven¡¯t hit the ground I become aware of Seth¡¯s hand wrapped around my waist and the other that has a firm grip on my arm. He¡¯s so close to me and his delicious scent makes my head even woozier. Selena is keeled over and laughing her ass off because I almost fell. Typical.


    ¡°...thanks.¡± I mumble as he helps me back to standing position. I look everywhere but at his face, which I¡¯m sure is regarding me in amusement.


    ¡°You can take her. If she goes with me we¡¯ll probably break both our necks before we get home.¡± Selena has a residual smile on her face and I widen my eyes at her, trying to hint that I don¡¯t want to be alone with Seth. I can barely keep my shit together in public. If we¡¯re in a car alone, God knows what I¡¯ll do.


    Selena rolls her eyes at me and kisses my cheek. ¡°Thanks for coming out with me tonight. I¡¯ll call you tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Selena, but¡ªI¡ªwe¡ªdamn it!¡± She slips back through the club door and I¡¯m stuck outside with Seth.


    After a few seconds, I gain the courage to look at him. He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans as his dark eyes follow my every movement like I¡¯m going to fall again.


    ¡°Well,¡± he begins. ¡°Your ex-boyfriend is a dick.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s putting it nicely.¡± I groan, running my hands over my face. ¡°Can we go? I¡¯m not really in the mood to hang around here.¡±


    He pulls a set of keys from his back pocket and gestures for me to follow him. Compared to the air in the club, outside is cool and it blows refreshingly across my skin. My feet ache in my shoes as I trail behind Seth down the street and to his car. Who drives to a club anyway? When Seth unlocks and approaches a big, white four-wheeled drive I have to say that I¡¯m surprised. I imagined Seth to drive a motorcycle or a sports car, or something completely dangerous and unnecessary. Instead, he drives a beautiful Range Rover. It¡¯s big, safe and totally not what I expected. He opens the door for me.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    His lips twitch suddenly upward, molding his mouth into a breathtaking, slightly crooked smirk, and I feel my chest constrict as I unsuccessfully try to tear my eyes away from his full lips.


    ¡°Don¡¯t thank me,¡± he says when I¡¯m comfortable in my seat. ¡°It¡¯s what boyfriends do.¡± His smirk widens into a full blown, cocky smile and he closes the door. My hands automatically fly to my face to cover my embarrassment. I never should have tried to provoke Blade. Now I look like the weirdo who goes around telling people Seth is my boyfriend when realistically we¡¯ve only spoken a handful of times. He opens the driver door and climbs in. I take my hands away from my face, but I don¡¯t dare peek at him as he speeds away from the club.


    ¡°I¡¯m really sorry...¡± I apologize after a while. Honesty is the best policy, right? ¡°He asked me if we were seeing each other and to spite him I didn¡¯t deny it.¡±


    He chuckles. ¡°It¡¯s no big deal. I¡¯m just glad I was there to help you out of that shit storm.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, me too.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t blame him for being pissed though.¡± He runs a hand through his hair quickly, glancing at me before turning his attention back to the road. ¡°I would¡¯ve pulled you off that guy myself if your ex hadn¡¯t showed up.¡±


    I scoff. ¡°You would have, would you?¡±


    ¡°Damn straight I would have. That guy was a fucking douche bag. You¡¯re too... I don¡¯t know¡ªgood to let a guy like that put his hands all over you.¡±


    I¡¯m annoyed by his words. I hate when people act like they know me... but, at the same time, I¡¯m awed and I can¡¯t stop the stupid warmth from spreading through my stomach. ¡°Good?¡±


    He nods. ¡°Yeah, I mean that dress is a little on the bad side, but I can tell you¡¯re a good girl at heart.¡±


    He can tell? So far all I¡¯ve done in his presence is stare at him, touch him and let a guy dance with me in a club. That doesn¡¯t exactly scream ¡®good girl¡¯. I cross my arms and decide not to continue the conversation because for one, I¡¯ll probably say something stupid. Two, I feel like vomiting and three, because any man that makes you want to take your clothes off and allow him to do anything to you within the first few minutes of meeting him is definitely the kind of man you want to stay away from. ¡®BAD NEWS¡¯ doesn¡¯t come any clearer than that. Seth is sexy as sin and that makes me take the ¡®Satan in a Sunday hat¡¯ term more literal.


    The rest of the drive is quiet and I peek at him sideways every now and then. His eyes are always glued to the road and one of his hands grip the steering wheel so tight his knuckles become white. The journey isn¡¯t long and I¡¯m so painfully aware of his presence I barely notice the streets and houses whipping past. Thankfully, the car eventually comes to a swift stop outside my house.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± I say without glancing at him. I open the door and slide out of the car. Behind me, I hear his door close too and my stomach clenches. What the hell am I meant to do now? He follows closely behind me as I go up the stairs and unlock my front door. I delay turning around for a few seconds, but when I do I¡¯m face to face with Seth. My belated sensor light flicks on and illumines his features¡ªthe black hair, dark eyes with tiny golden rivers and finally a set of luscious lips, and all of them are inches away from me. My body knows it too. Everything inside me is tight and on full alert just waiting for me to give them the signal to let go. I step a little closer to him, encouraging him.


    He¡¯s looking at me, his eyes dancing while his mouth remains curved in a lopsided smirk. I have a sudden, wild urge to reach out and press my fingers to his perfect lips.


    ¡°I meant what I said.¡± He says. His voice is low and it draws my attention from his lips to his eyes. ¡°You¡¯re too good for guys like him...and me.¡±


    I frown, defiantly. ¡°Who says I¡¯m good?¡±


    Seth leans into me and my breath catches in my throat. He¡¯s so close the scent of him tears through me and desire swells between my thighs. The cologne he¡¯s wearing makes me want to close my eyes and inhale as deeply as I can, but I don¡¯t because that would be creepy. I can¡¯t be plain, boring and creepy. His eyes are focused on me as his hand slides firmly around my waist. My pulse hits overdrive and my skin prickles all over. I want to lick his chest and kiss his lips. I want to feel his rough hands all over my body. Oh God. I want it. It¡¯s so wrong¡ªso unlike me¡ªbut I can¡¯t stop the pure, animalistic desire in the pit of my stomach.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re good because you flush whenever I get close to you.¡± He leans in and I can feel his hot breath on my face, causing my pulse to skitter uncontrollably. ¡°Your breathing either speeds up or disappears completely. And¡ª¡± He slides a firm hand between my legs. I gasp and instinctively squeeze them shut¡ªtrapping him. His eyes continue to dance with devilish amusement as they taunt me. ¡°Let¡¯s just say, I can tell by how you react to me.¡±


    I find myself incapable of speech as I remain frozen, completely entranced by the thick, rough hand trapped between my thighs. My breathing is deep and quick. I can feel the warmth of my blush beginning to spread down my neck and across my chest, and it feels as though my very skin is burning. His hand feels so good where it is and I don¡¯t want to let it go.


    ¡°And if I wasn¡¯t good?¡± I reply, slightly breathless. ¡°What would happen tonight?¡±


    ¡°Nothing. If you weren¡¯t good I would¡¯ve had you in the shower room two days ago.¡±


    Shower room? Did he come down the hallway to specifically find me? Had he honestly expected me to spread my legs for him in the shower room at my father¡¯s gym? He¡¯s confidence levels are annoyingly high. Reluctantly, I open my legs and he takes his hand back, but not before sliding his finger right across the center of my warmth. A half moan, half gasp falls involuntarily from my lips, but I¡¯m too aroused to be embarrassed. He blinks for a second too long and his jaw noticeably tightens. I can see he¡¯s trying to decide what to do right now and I pray that it¡¯s not treat me like I¡¯m good. His hand grabs the front of my dress and tugs me into him. I don¡¯t have time to react appropriately before he grips my hips and presses the lips I¡¯ve so desperately wanted to kiss, to my own. Something snaps inside me, and with a surge of hot arousal, I run my fingers through his hair and kiss him back with wild abandon. His tongue glides across my bottom lip, coaxing me into opening my mouth. I do and he wastes no time in darting his tongue inside. I¡¯m not going to stop here¡ªno way¡ªin my little world, I¡¯m way past the point of redemption. I want him and I want him right now. He tastes delicious and it¡¯s amazing considering he was drinking beer not too long ago. Seth crushes his body against mine and his hands slide up my delicate curves and into my hair, urging me harder against him. My heart is racing and the desire between my legs grows stronger. Blade is in the back of my mind the whole time. I feel guilty, but I¡¯m too aroused to stop. I have to tell myself over and over in my head that I¡¯m not Blade¡¯s. He isn¡¯t my boyfriend. I¡¯m my own person.


    I¡¯m free.


    Seth¡¯s hands leave my hair and wrap around my thighs as he lifts me like I weigh nothing. I surround his hips with my legs and grow a million times more aroused at the thought of his muscles being squeezed between my thighs. He speaks against my lips.


    ¡°We¡¯re not doing this. Wholesome girls like you have no business being with boys like me.¡±


    ¡°Shh.¡± I crush my lips forcefully to his, not hesitating for a moment as I suck his bottom lip into my mouth before plunging my tongue between his lips. I don¡¯t want to be good right now. I want to be bad. He opens my door and I¡¯m glad I left the lights on before I left for the club otherwise I¡¯ll miss the whole show. A small groan releases itself from his throat sending shockwaves of pleasure through my stomach. He lowers me onto the couch and his body, comes with me, pinning me hard against the cushions. I can feel every inch of him and the rough denim of his jeans cause goosebumps to break across every inch of the exposed flesh of my thighs. His obvious arousal presses firmly against my core as his mouth hungrily consumes mine. I moan against his lips as his rough hands reach under the hem of my dress and grasp my bare hip. His hand lingers there for a few seconds before he runs a finger along my stomach and then lower along the edge of my underwear. I shudder, rocking my hips against him. I want him to touch me there and I want him to lick me there. I want him to do anything and everything. His eyes flicker onto mine and fireworks explode inside of me.


    ¡°Easy.¡± He breathes, his voice dripping like melted chocolate. ¡°I just want to touch.¡±


    He grins victoriously as I nod and his finger sides against my inner thigh and slips under the fabric. Strange ripples shoot through my body as he caresses my smooth center. He groans low in his throat, and the sound spurs me onward as I thrust my hips harder against him. Seth shakes his head, dropping it onto my chest. He nips at my neck and slides his finger between my creases. I grip his shoulders and sink my teeth into my bottom lip to block a whimper. His breathing is hard and labored as he lifts his eyes to my face. ¡°I want to do so many things to you, right now, but I can¡¯t.¡± He pulls his hands from between my legs and exhales ¡°I can¡¯t.¡±


    He catches my bottom lip with his teeth and I groan in protest as he lifts himself off of me. This is not happening. I¡¯m too aroused, too far gone to stop now. Beside, I¡¯m the one who just broke up with her long term boyfriend, aren¡¯t I meant to be the one freaking out and putting a stop to sex with a stranger? I¡¯m the one who¡¯s supposed to get the sudden attack of morality, not him. I pull myself into a sitting position and watch as he makes his way to the door.


    ¡°Seth, where are you going?¡± I can¡¯t keep the annoyed, disappointed tone from my voice.


    He opens the door and leans his head against the wood. He opens his mouth to say something, but his phone rings, cutting off whatever he was going to say to me. Sadly, I think it has something to do with me being good. God damn it! Immediately, he pulls it from his back pocket and brings it to his ear.

 Page 8

    ¡°Hello? Yes, I am.¡± He sighs and I see his jaw clench. ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll be right there.¡± His brown eyes rake me. ¡°I have to go.¡± He exhales before leaving and closing the door behind him.Advertisement


    What. The. Hell.


    With a grunt, I kick my shoes off and drop back into the sofa. Was I really just rejected for sex? Fine, I¡¯m not a whore, but I sure as shit am not a child either. Maybe I should have stayed at the club with the gropey guy. He wasn¡¯t too bad and there¡¯s no way he would¡¯ve left me here sexually frustrated.


    I drag myself from the couch to the bathroom. A shower would be so fantastic right now. The hot water gushes over me and I just stand there, letting it caress me. My eyes sting as my make-up runs into them. I hate forgetting to use a make-up wipe before a shower, Selena¡¯s stuff burns like acid. My skin still tingles and pulsates with Seth¡¯s touch and I want him to come back. I want him to finish what he started. Under the hot water, I become even more flustered and thinking about what happened in my lounge room minutes ago is driving me crazy. I¡¯ve never wanted sex so badly in my life and I just know Seth is good at it. The way he makes me feel with his hands alone is enough for me to go off.


    I trot from the shower, dejected and tightly coiled with my pink towel wrapped tightly around my body. My room is dark and I don¡¯t bother switching the light on. I fall onto my bed, my hair still damp from the shower and I close my eyes. I want to sleep and forget tonight ever happened. Now that I¡¯ve gathered my thoughts, I feel embarrassed. I should have acted with a bit more class or at least showed some restraint considering I hardly know the guy. But I can¡¯t around him. He¡¯s too magnetic¡ªtoo sexy and confident and I like it. Behind my eyelids his full lips smile at me while his chocolate eyes watch me. An eternity later, I¡¯m still awake and thinking about him.


    ¡°Fucking Seth.¡± I groan, pressing play on the iPod dock on my bedside table.


    I figure music will help drown out his image. The first song to play is Me & U by Cassie and I quickly slap the ¡®next¡¯ button. The last thing I need is a sexually charged song to keep me awake. Thankfully, Wonderwall by Oasis plays straight after and I¡¯m able to fall asleep to Liam Gallagher¡¯s beautifully unique voice.


    Chapter Six


    I open my eyes. The alarm clock on my bedside table says it¡¯s nine a.m. I yawn, rub the sleep from my eyes and look again.


    9:00 A.M.


    Fuck!


    I sit bolt upright and the duvet falls away, exposing me to the cool morning air. I hit stop on my iPod, too bleary eyed and disoriented to realize what song is playing. I fly out of bed and move so quickly I swear my feet never touch the ground. Mason is going to be pissed. He gave me two days off and I still can¡¯t get my shit together. Naked, I search my house for my phone. I find it on the kitchen bench and check my notifications. There¡¯s a bunch from Blade, a bunch from Selena and million and one from Mason. Shit. This is bad. I quickly dial him back.


    ¡°Good Morning, Guyer and Peterson psychology, this is Mason.¡±


    I twist my fingers in my mess of hair. ¡°Mason, hi.¡±


    ¡°Olivia?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I over-slept I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I chew on my nails.


    ¡°I gave you two days, Olivia. You had two days to clear your head and come back to work. I don¡¯t think¡ª¡±


    ¡°I ran into Blade last night and he messed with my head.¡± I interrupt. It wasn¡¯t entirely a lie. I did run into Blade, but he didn¡¯t mess with my head... not like Seth did anyway.


    ¡°You two are still over?¡±


    ¡°Most definitely...¡±


    He exhales. ¡°Can you get here in half an hour?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be there in twenty.¡±


    I hang up and run to my room throwing on underwear, a pair of skinny jeans, a white silk blouse and a light blue cardigan. My hair is a bird¡¯s nest because I slept with it wet and the brush rips through my knots. I pretty much cry as it causes my scalp to burn. I put on base foundation and some eye make-up. In my bag I throw in some tights and a tank top so I can go to the gym after work. Hopefully, Seth spends this morning in the gym and we can avoid an awkward run in later on.


    I run from the house and practically dive into my car. I¡¯m in such a rush I don¡¯t even bother putting a seat belt on and when I arrive at work my cheeks are slightly flushed from having to park ages down the street and sprint the rest of the way.


    ¡°Olivia, you made it.¡± Mason smiles at me as I step through the front door. He rises from the reception desk and straightens his navy blue suit. ¡°Can I speak with you in my office for a moment?¡±


    Dread slivers through my stomach. Crap... maybe I am getting fired. I follow him into his room and he closes the door behind me, gesturing to the seat in front of his desk. I sit down and open my mouth to speak, but he raises a finger to silence me. He sits on the edge of his desk in front of me. He¡¯s so close his knee almost touches mine.


    ¡°Relax, I¡¯m not firing you.¡± I almost sag in relief. ¡°I wanted to see how you¡¯re doing...¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I reply, smiling widely.


    ¡°Define fine?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know... I¡¯m fine. Happy. Free.¡±


    His arms cross in front of him. ¡°Are you fine enough to go out to dinner with me?¡±


    I feel my smile fade. ¡°Mason... we¡¯ve spoken about this before.¡±


    ¡°I know, but you had a boyfriend then.¡±


    ¡°I only broke up with him two days ago.¡± I point out. Thank God he doesn¡¯t know I almost slept with someone last night. ¡°Besides, I¡¯m still your employee.¡±


    He leans toward me. ¡°Olly¡ª¡±


    ¡°Olivia.¡± I warn him maybe a little too harshly. I can¡¯t stand Olly.


    ¡°Sorry, Olivia, it¡¯s one dinner. I¡¯m not asking you to marry me.¡±


    ¡°I know, but I feel like dating you would be crossing a line. You¡¯re my boss and I don¡¯t want to mix business with pleasure.¡± I also want to add that he is too old for me, but I decided not to, to spare his feelings.


    His brows knit together and his blue eyes look pleading. ¡°One dinner. That¡¯s all I¡¯m asking for.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I say, finalizing our discussion. I push my chair back and stand up. ¡°I¡¯m going to start work now, if I still have a job.¡±


    He nods, running his hands through his hair and I leave the room. When I step out of his office I can breathe better, but I don¡¯t feel better because I know this will happen again and again until I give in. I hate breaking Mason¡¯s heart, but the thought of dating him really puts me out of my comfort zone regardless of how handsome he is.


    Work is awkward, to say the least. Mason comes out every hour and collects a new patient without batting an eyelid in my direction. If past rejections are anything to go off he¡¯ll be back to talking to me in two days. I sigh and tap my thumb on the keyboard. Work is slow today which is uncharacteristic for a Wednesday and because I have nothing to occupy myself I can¡¯t stop thinking about Seth. Pictures of his lips on mine flash through my mind and I swear I can feel them. A familiar ache pulses between my thighs and I squeeze my knees together, leaning back in my chair. The erotic feelings I have for Seth this morning disappoint me because I¡¯m humiliated and frustrated. I want to hit the treadmill or punch things¡ªanything that will help me wind down.


    In my pocket my phone vibrates and it jolts me out of my less-than-wholesome and less-than-peaceful thoughts. I pull it out and check it. Selena is calling me.


    ¡°Hello?¡± I answer.


    ¡°There you are! Jesus. I¡¯ve been trying to call you since I got home last night. I was starting to think that maybe you had ended up in a ditch just like you feared. Anyway, speaking of last night, how¡¯d it go?¡± Her ¡®you have to tell me everything¡¯ tone doesn¡¯t go by unnoticed.


    ¡°It didn¡¯t go. Seth dropped me off and that was it.¡± I choose to leave out the part about us making out and letting him touch me between the thighs. I¡¯m embarrassed to tell Selena what happened because I know something like that has never happened to her.


    ¡°You¡¯re such a liar!¡± She squeals, cackling like a crazy woman.


    ¡°I¡¯m not. I swear I didn¡¯t have sex with him.¡±


    Her laugh stops abruptly. ¡°Do you swear on our friendship?¡±


    Whatever the hell that means. ¡°Yes, I swear.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± The excitement from her tone disappears. ¡°Is he gay?¡± Her question draws a snort from me. ¡°Because you looked sexy in that dress...¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not gay, Sel. It might be hard for you to believe, but some people that don¡¯t know each other well don¡¯t have sex at the drop of the hat.¡±


    She laughs wildly again and I can imagine her doing it¡ªhead tilted back, mouth wide, exposing her perfect teeth. ¡°There were a lot of people talking at the club after you left. Seth seems pretty well known for a guy that just moved here and the consensus is that he has sex at the drop of anything. I was almost certain you¡¯d get some.¡±


    I frown. If he loves sex so much why couldn¡¯t he have sex with me? Maybe his excuse was a cop-out... maybe I am plain, boring and not appealing to majority of the opposite sex. As quick as the thought entered my head, I squash it down. He was all over me in the beginning. ¡°Yeah, well, I didn¡¯t.¡±


    She sighs. ¡°Me either. Hey, you had fun last night, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes...¡±


    ¡°Do you want to go out again tonight?¡±


    I slump into my seat. ¡°I don¡¯t know, Selena. Last night with Blade¡ª¡±


    ¡°Blade¡¯s a wanker. We¡¯ll go somewhere else, somewhere low key. O, c¡¯mon. We didn¡¯t get enough time to hang out last night.¡±


    I pause for a few seconds, weighing my options. If I do go out who knows what time I¡¯ll get back or if I¡¯ll even get out of bed for work tomorrow morning. If I don¡¯t go out I¡¯ll be stuck at home thinking about Seth and eventually resort to self-pleasure. But if I do...I¡¯ll have enough to keep my mind occupied.


    ¡°I¡¯m feeling too indecisive right now, call me back later.¡±


    ¡°Okay, but you have to promise you¡¯ll think about it?¡±


    ¡°I promise.¡± I reply, remembering to cross my toes.


    ¡°Awesome! Love you, bitch.¡±


    She hangs up and I slide my phone back into my pocket. I¡¯m in such a crappy mood to think about anything right now.


    Today sucks.


    I pull on the big gym door but it doesn¡¯t open. Strange. Dad never closes early¡ªever. I use the spare key hanging from my car keys. Dad said I can come and use the gym whenever I want even if it¡¯s closed. I guess it¡¯s one of those times. I step inside and lock the door behind me. When I turn around I jump, seeing at least eight pairs of eyes on me. They¡¯re surrounding the boxing ring and my dad is amongst them. My eyes immediately lock with Seth¡¯s. He¡¯s inside the ring, sweating and panting. It¡¯s such an amazing sight and my knees shake a little.


    I want to slap myself.


    I feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment under his gaze. He rejected me last night. I swallow down the bitter taste.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I announce, making eye contact with Dad. ¡°I didn¡¯t know anyone was here. I can go...¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be silly, Olly.¡± Dad calls, walking over to me. Great, now Seth knows my nickname. ¡°This is as much your gym as it is mine.¡±


    I regard him curiously. He¡¯s upbeat which is strange for him and there¡¯s a huge smile spread over his face. He pulls me into a hug and the fatherly smell has been replaced with sweat.


    ¡°You smell.¡± I chuckle as he pulls away.


    He ignores me. ¡°Honey, I¡¯ve got some good news¡±


    I glance at Seth who¡¯s now leaning on his forearms on the top rope watching us¡ªwatching me¡ªto be more exact. The other people surrounding the ring are people I¡¯ve never seen before¡ªtwo of them are wearing headgear and boxing gloves¡ªobviously Seth¡¯s sparring partners. Another is wearing sporty clothes and a white cap that is pulled down on his forehead complimenting his dark complexion. Around his neck is a stop watch and in his hands is a clipboard. The others wore suits. I look at dad and I¡¯m officially confused.


    ¡°You¡¯re not selling the gym are you?¡± I whisper.


    Dad laughs loudly. ¡°Never in a million years.¡±


    He tucks me under his arm and guides me over to the people. I fight the urge to dig my feet in. I don¡¯t want to go anywhere near Seth. ¡°Seth has hired me as a tactics advisor.¡±


    ¡°And what¡¯s that?¡± I ask, turning to face Dad and preventing him for pushing me any closer. I¡¯ve never seen him so happy. His cheeks are practically bursting with happiness.


    ¡°Your father has a keen eye when it comes to MMA.¡± The guy with the stop watch says. ¡°A tactics advisor will help Seth identify certain moves before a takedown or a submission. The tactics advisor will also identify weak points in a hold or submission so that Seth is able to exploit them.¡±


    I feel like he has memorized a passage from a textbook and repeated it to me. Yep, still just as boring.


    ¡°Dad, you have no training in anything like that.¡± Concern is thick in my voice. I know he doesn¡¯t need any more stress in his life and I can foresee this getting very stressful for him... or maybe I¡¯m just being bitter because Seth is involved.


    ¡°How many Mixed Martial Arts DVD¡¯s do I own? How many fights have I recorded and downloaded? All of them. I¡¯ve watched them back to front and I know everything there is to know. This sport is my passion and I¡¯ve always wanted to work on a team behind a fighter and I have the best one right here in my gym.¡± He gestures to Seth and I roll my eyes. The last thing he needs is his ego boosted higher. ¡°This is what I¡¯m meant to be doing with my life.¡±

 Page 9

    ¡°And what does Mom have to say about all of this?¡±Advertisement


    Dad rubs the back of his neck. ¡°That¡¯s the thing... I haven¡¯t told her yet.¡±


    ¡°Dad¡ª¡±


    ¡°I will tonight. I¡¯m taking her to that fancy place she likes, uh¡ª¡± He clicks his fingers trying to remember the name.


    ¡°Phillip¡¯s Gourmet.¡± I answer for him.


    ¡°Right.¡±


    His big brown eyes stare at me, waiting for me to say something else.


    ¡°Well,¡± I begin. ¡°If it makes you happy, then I¡¯m happy.¡± I kiss his warm cheek and head to the shower room to change into my gym clothes. I¡¯m not going to let Seth¡¯s presence deter me from working out.


    When I¡¯ve changed into a pair of tights and a tank top, I step out from a little cubicle and Seth with all of his glorious sweatiness is leaning against the wall by the mirrors. His presence forces a mass of butterflies in my stomach, making me feel nauseous. I stop in my tracks and pull my bag a little tighter against me. I let my gaze drag to meet his and I try not to gape at the unadulterated perfection of his appearance. His black hair is messy and wet against his forehead. His skin is coated in a thin layer of sweat and not to mention the muscles that ripple underneath his flawless skin. It¡¯s unfair that someone can be so good-looking and desirable when all I want to do is forget about them. I swallow over and over again, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in the back of my throat as I watch him carefully.


    ¡°Are you okay with me hiring your dad?¡± His voice is low and coarse, sending a tidal wave of shivers down my spine.


    ¡°You¡¯re asking me that now? After you¡¯ve already hired him?¡±


    ¡°I had no idea he was your dad until you walked in and called him Dad.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, alright. That¡¯s a bit too much of a coincidence, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    He doesn¡¯t reply to me, only watches and I continue. ¡°Fighting is his passion and it makes him happy so... thank you.¡±


    He nods. ¡°I was worried you¡¯d think I¡¯m using him to get to you.¡±


    I laugh once. ¡°No, it¡¯s pretty clear that you¡¯re not hiring my dad to get into my pants considering I threw my pants at you last night and you refused.¡±


    He¡¯s smiling at me now, but there¡¯s something raw and hungry in his eyes. It¡¯s confusing me and I hate it. I storm past him, but his hand grabs my arm, spinning me back to him. I gasp as my back is pressed against the wall and his face is inches from mine. His full lips are parted, like he¡¯s seconds away from devouring me with them and I hate that I want him to. The look in his eyes darkens and he presses his lips into a thin line. ¡°You¡¯re mad because I didn¡¯t sleep with you?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m mad because you humiliated me. I let you touch me...¡± I cringe. ¡°and then you left.¡± Hot-faced and reluctant, I slide out from his grasp. ¡°I¡¯m glad we didn¡¯t have sex. You can use my dad for your training as long as you keep your hard chest and thick arms... and your...¡± Keep it together woman! I clear my throat and the corner of his lips twitch. ¡°Just stay away from me.¡±


    He grabs me again, pulling me back against the wall. His strong arms lean against the concrete either side of my head and his knee nudges between my legs, completely dominating me. ¡°Let me make it up to you. Come to dinner with me tonight.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    His lips twitch and his eyes are suddenly brighter. He enjoys being told no and secretly that thrills me because I enjoy saying it to him. ¡°You mistake my demand for a question.¡±


    ¡°Your demand?¡± I scoff and push against him, but he doesn¡¯t budge.


    ¡°Olivia.¡± His rough voice wraps around my name and I imagine him moaning it in my ear. My lips part and I exhale slowly. ¡°Come to dinner with me.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I meant to sound annoyed, but my voice cracks and he smiles. He¡¯s going to break me. I¡¯m going to cave and he knows it. I¡¯m going to have to nip it in the bud before he wins. From my bag, I pull out my phone and dial Selena¡¯s number. I put it to my ear as Seth watches me curiously.


    ¡°Hello?¡± She answers.


    ¡°Okay,¡± I say, keeping my eyes locked with Seth¡¯s. ¡°Let¡¯s go out tonight.¡±


    She squeals and I take the phone away from my ear until she¡¯s finished. Seth¡¯s eyes narrow in on me and I can see his muscles contract and relax.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be there at nine. Love you!¡± She hangs up.


    I smile mockingly at him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I¡¯m busy tonight.¡±


    Damn it. Why am I so stubborn? I want to walk away, but his body is preventing me for going anywhere.


    ¡°You¡¯re playing a dangerous game.¡± He almost growls at me. ¡°I¡¯m not going to stop until¡ª¡±


    ¡°Until what?¡± I interrupt. ¡°You don¡¯t want me.¡± I emphasize each word.


    ¡°Fuck, Olivia! I¡¯ve wanted you since the moment I caught you staring at me days ago.¡± His finger traces my jaw and then my bottom lip before he drops it to his side. ¡°You want to know why I can¡¯t let myself have you? Because during all of our random meetings I discovered you¡¯re the type of girl that can¡¯t separate emotions from sex and that¡¯s all I want from you.¡± I scowl at his words, but at least he gains brownie points for honesty. ¡°And for some strange reason... I don¡¯t want to hurt you. You are good and I don¡¯t want to ruin that for you.¡±


    My eyes flit to his lips and then back to his eyes. ¡°If you never planned to have sex with me, why¡¯d you tell me those things and touch me and kiss me?¡±


    ¡°Because at the time I was trying to prove a point, but it got a little out of hand.¡±


    I look into his chocolate eyes and he seems sincere, but you can never really tell with these over-confident, playboy types. Unexpectedly, he presses his dry, full lips against mine and my eyes flutter shut on instinct, the butterflies growing increasingly abominable. His dammed lips are causing my knees to weaken and my stubbornness to give way. It¡¯s like I can¡¯t control my body. My hands slide up around his neck and into his hair. I feel his soft, damp hair slip between my fingertips and his tongue is slick with moisture as he flicks it along my bottom lip. A moan escapes my throat as Seth pulls himself back and with a sultry smile he says. ¡°But now that I know exactly what¡¯s between those thighs, I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to be able to stop myself from going after you.¡± He draws himself to his full height and storms away, leaving me panting and staring at the empty space in front of me like an idiot, my lips still heavy with his kiss.


    By the time I find the courage to exit the shower room Seth and his crew have moved to the private training rooms. Thank God. I happily climb onto a treadmill and warm up for a long time. I can still feel his heat on me and I can¡¯t think straight. After I run, I move over to the bench press and dumbbells. Too many times I lost count of my reps because I was too busy thinking about what Seth said. He¡¯s confusing. He wants me, but at the same time he doesn¡¯t because I¡¯m ¡®too good¡¯. And I thought women were confusing. I never want to feel how I felt today ever again. Seth won¡¯t get another chance to humiliate me¡ªeven if that wasn¡¯t his intention in the first place. The cocky bastard needs to be told no for a change and I hope I can stick to it.


    I get home late because I decided to take a trip to the grocery store for some more fresh fruit and veg. When I put it all away in the fridge, I go to my room to get ready for tonight. I pick my two dresses up off the floor and decide to wear the coral off the shoulder cocktail dress. It¡¯s safe and if I do my own hair and make-up I won¡¯t have to look like an A-class hooker again. Picking up is definitely not on the agenda for me tonight. The only reason I said yes to Selena was to get Seth off my damn back. I want to go to dinner with him, but I can¡¯t trust if his request is genuine or if it¡¯s all part of some big plan. I don¡¯t know. Maybe I¡¯m reading too much into it.


    Selena shows up at eight-thirty dressed just as glamorously as last night in a salmon pink tube dress and white stilettos. The second she sees my dress she cringes. ¡°Really? The coral dress?¡±


    I nod and pop the cork out of the champagne. ¡°Yep, it¡¯s safe.¡±


    Her heels are freakishly high and I¡¯m surprised she hasn¡¯t broken her neck yet. ¡°O, we¡¯re going to a club not taking a child to a pre-school orientation.¡±


    I roll my eyes as I pour the champagne into two wine flutes. I don¡¯t know what her problem is. The coral dress is beautiful. It isn¡¯t revealing or tight it¡¯s... boring. Sadly, the realization affects me more than I want it to.


    Selena¡¯s cool hand touches my shoulder and I realize I zoned out. ¡°It¡¯s not that bad. I didn¡¯t mean to upset you.¡±


    I scoff and play it off with a chuckle. ¡°I was thinking about something else and completely zoned out.¡±


    ¡°So,¡± she says, changing the subject. ¡°My friend says that Blade is at Heaven¡¯s tonight so we¡¯re going back to Lux¡¯s... if that¡¯s okay with you?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely, but I don¡¯t want to stay out too late. I have work in the morning and I can¡¯t afford to sleep in again.¡±


    She takes her champagne flute off the bench and inhales a large mouthful. Her pink lipstick stains the glass and it¡¯s going to be a pain in the ass trying to get that off in the morning. Selena¡¯s lipsticks are like permanent markers. ¡°I bet Mason was pissed you were late today.¡±


    I take a mouthful of the yellow, bubbly liquid and place the flute back on the bench. ¡°He wasn¡¯t too pissed, but I think that was only because he wanted me to say yes to dinner.¡±


    ¡°He asked you to dinner again?¡±


    ¡°Yep and I said no for the billionth time.¡±


    ¡°Why do you keep saying no? Hell, I¡¯d go if he asked me. He¡¯s a total babe for his age and he has money¡ªoh, and the eyes on him pierce straight into my pus¡ª¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± I shout, cutting her off. My face scrunches at her foul words. I don¡¯t think I can stomach hearing ¡®Mason¡¯ and ¡®pussy¡¯ in the same sentence. ¡°Sel, he¡¯s like forty-something and he¡¯s my boss.¡±


    ¡°So?¡±


    ¡°Look, if you want him, go for him. I¡¯m not going to stop you and hopefully that will get him off my back.¡±


    She smiles. ¡°Maybe I will.¡±


    The cab shows up at nine on the dot and Selena drags me from the house before I have a chance to change my mind¡ªagain.


    Lux¡¯s Lounge Bar has the same atmosphere as last night. I wonder how many people have work tomorrow and if they come out often. It¡¯s only nine-thirty and I already feel like calling it a night. Selena ushers me toward the bar and immediately two guys buy us a drink. Selena puts on her best ¡®Oh my God, I wasn¡¯t expecting that¡¯ face and I hide behind her while she flirts. I¡¯m so not into boys tonight. The argument with Seth this afternoon has really taken all of my energy out of me and boys are definitely at the very, very back of my mind.


    They seem to be at the front of Selena¡¯s mind tonight, however, and I don¡¯t mind being her wingman as she swoops in to find herself a nice rich guy.


    ¡°I own a law firm.¡± She says to one guy and he laps it up like a puppy.


    He has dark hair that sits in waves on his forehead and I¡¯m annoyed by how many times he flicks his head to move it around. I can tell from the beginning that this guy doesn¡¯t have money, but I can almost guarantee that he uses his daddy¡¯s.


    ¡°Oh, really? I work in pharmaceuticals.¡±


    Lie. Your dad works in pharmaceuticals. I smile to myself. I¡¯m doing it again¡ªjudging people. I can¡¯t help it.


    ¡°Drugs, I like it.¡± Selena giggles and nudges me with her elbow. I have no idea what it means and what I¡¯m supposed to do. Do I have to say something to boost her up or does she want me to leave? Her green eyes flick sideways at me and I shrug. I never claimed to be a good wingman.


    ¡°Olivia is my receptionist.¡± She hints.


    Oh. Right. I launch myself into their discussion. ¡°Selena works hard, but at the end of the day she loves to play.¡± I feel seedy just saying that.


    ¡°I like to play, too.¡± He winks at me, ¡®subconsciously¡¯ taping the glass on his Rolex and I bite my lip, fighting the urge to scoff and drag Selena away from him. ¡°This might be a little out of line, but are you both interested in a¡ª¡±


    I turn as quickly as I can and I get the hell out of there. A threesome is DEFINITELY not on the agenda tonight and I know that¡¯s exactly what he¡¯s after. He¡¯s been trying to charm us both all night. The last time Blade and I broke up and Selena dragged me clubbing she found a hot guy and it was his ¡®birthday¡¯. He wanted a threesome which Selena was totally down for. ¡°We¡¯re friends who have known each other forever. It¡¯s not going to be awkward. I see your tits and vag all the time.¡± She said to me. My response was still: FUCK NO!


    I don¡¯t know why. Selena is gorgeous and clean and everything else, but it¡¯s just not something I¡¯m into¡ªat all. The thought alone makes me queasy. I walk over to the bar and put my empty glass down. My eyes feel heavy and I want to go home. I glance back over my shoulder at Selena and the spoilt shit. They¡¯re making out...hardcore making out.


    ¡°What can I get you?¡± The bartender asks, drawing my attention onto her.


    Her dark hair is tied back into a high ponytail at the top of her head and it¡¯s long enough to cascade over her shoulders. Her shirt barely covers her midriff and she has a black dot above her upper lip. I was having a hard time trying to decide if it¡¯s a piercing or a beauty spot. I stare at it and lean in closer. She looks uncomfortable, but she doesn¡¯t drop the smile from her lips. I blink a few times as she wobbles to the side briefly.

 Page 10

    ¡°Uh, nothing...¡± I reply, sitting on a bar stool. ¡°I think I¡¯ve had too much.¡±Advertisement


    Funny. I don¡¯t think I had that much to drink. My eyes spin around and around in their sockets and soon I can no longer tell which way is up.


    ¡°Olivia, we¡¯re going¡ªOlivia?¡± Selena¡¯s hands grab me and I lean into her. Her chest is soft and warm against my cheek.


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel so good.¡± I slur.


    ¡°Shit... It¡¯s okay. We¡¯re going to get you home.¡±


    I hear her argue with the bartender before supporting majority of my weight on her small frame. She farewells the guy she was talking to and soon the night air hits my face. My head clears slightly and after a few minutes the cool leather of a taxi seat holds me as warm hands caress my face. I have no idea what the hell is going on and I¡¯m scared. My chest feels full and I can¡¯t breathe.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Selena says a few times over and over until she pulls me from the car. The lines of the world are blurry, but I recognize the lag in a sensor light. I¡¯m home.


    I black out until luke-warm water hits my back. My eyes shoot open, but everything is still unclear.


    ¡°C¡¯mon, O. Don¡¯t fall asleep.¡±


    I¡¯m sitting on a plastic chair hunched over in the shower and Selena is on the phone next to me. ¡°Put the manager on the damn phone!¡± She snaps.


    I help her ease me out of the shower and I lean against the wall as she dries my body with a towel. She¡¯s on hold. She hates being on hold. Selena half pulls, half carries me from the bathroom and drops me onto my bed. Naked, she tucks me under the blankets.


    ¡°Jerry, you fuck!¡± She growls into her phone. ¡°You need to up the standard of your security checks.¡±


    I fade out and then back in.


    ¡°My friend was roofied tonight. I don¡¯t know¡ªsomehow. Yes, I¡¯m sure! She¡¯s a fucking mess!¡±


    She¡¯s still yelling, but I can¡¯t hear her anymore. Slowly, my eyes close and I feel like I¡¯m lying in a hammock that someone has winded up and left to spin with me still inside it. Slowly, I fall to sleep and I¡¯m happy today will be over soon. Eventually, this whole week will be over and I¡¯m glad because it has done nothing but kick me while I¡¯m down... then again, maybe I asked for it. I have a habit of doing dumb things when I shouldn¡¯t. This week is meant to be a grieving period, isn¡¯t it? I¡¯m meant to be getting over my boyfriend of six years, but instead, I find myself desperately filling in time and thinking more about Seth than Blade.


    There¡¯s something seriously wrong with me... and I don¡¯t care. I meant it when I told Blade that I haven¡¯t loved him for a long time. If I¡¯m being honest, I¡¯m more upset about the time wasted than the break-up itself. Does that make me a bad person? Is it horrible for me to feel free? Because I do...


    I am free.


    Chapter Seven


    I wake up feeling like shards of glass are poking at the back of my eyeballs. My head pounds relentlessly and my mouth is as dry as a desert.


    Alcohol.


    Clubs.


    Roofies.


    I groan and silently make a vow never to drink again. I can almost hear my brain scoff at me. I¡¯ve said it too many times for it to be reliable and now my own body doesn¡¯t trust me.


    I roll off my bed and straighten myself. I feel like shit. No, I feel worse than shit¡­what¡¯s worse than shit? My brain hurts and I can¡¯t be bothered answering my own damn question.


    I pull my dressing gown off the back of the door and slip into it. Drowsily, I make my way to the kitchen. When I step into the lounge room Selena is passed out on my couch wearing a black t-shirt and matching sweat pants¡ªthey¡¯re mine. What a surprise.


    I open the cupboard and pull out a saucepan. I take a metal soup spoon from the drawer and I slowly trot over to Selena. I bang on the base of the saucepan, filling the room with glorious, headache inducing noise and she practically jumps out of her skin.


    I tower over her and she blinks a few times to get her bearings. ¡°What. The fuck, Olivia!¡± She shouts, covering her face with a pillow.


    ¡°Oh no you don¡¯t.¡± My voice is hoarse and dry. I grab the pillow and pull it from her. ¡°If I can¡¯t sleep in then neit¡ª¡±


    I glance at the clock on my microwave.


    4:00 P.M.


    Shit.


    Shit.


    ¡°Shit.¡± I gasp.


    ¡°What is it?¡± She groans, claiming her pillow back and turning away from me.


    ¡°I¡¯ve missed work! Mason is going to kill me. I¡¯m so fired.¡±


    Ignoring my banging head and dry mouth, I sprint to my room and throw on some clean underwear. I can¡¯t locate a proper bra so I opt for a sports one. On top of that, I throw a red tank top and a pair of yoga tights. I haven¡¯t done the washing in a few days so I¡¯m out of respectable work clothing. I have to go down there and explain to him what happened.


    ¡°Olivia!¡± Selena calls out to me from the lounge room, but I ignore it.


    I pull my hair into a ponytail and decide to skip make-up all together. I pull a pair of socks on and run to the front door for a pair of joggers. I am so screwed. I¡¯m going to have to ask him to dinner to get out of this one.


    ¡°Relax, Sporty Spice.¡± I don¡¯t stop. I slip my feet into my shoes and begin to tie the laces. ¡°I called Mason last night and told him what happened. He knows you¡¯re not coming in today.¡±


    I stop and look at Selena. She¡¯s smiling lazily at me. ¡°And you didn¡¯t tell me sooner?¡±


    ¡°I tried to.¡±


    I exhale, deeply. ¡°He knows that I was drugged?¡±


    She nods. ¡°Well I had to tell him the truth otherwise he¡¯ll think you drank too much and have no sense of responsibility¡ªblah, blah, blah.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I guess.¡± I head toward the kitchen. ¡°Thanks for that.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome.¡± She pulls the pillow over her head as I scull back a bottle of cold water from the fridge.


    ¡°Oh, you¡¯re not going back to sleep.¡± I state, putting the water back in the side door. ¡°We¡¯re going to the gym.¡±


    ¡°Have fun with that.¡±


    Selena never goes to the gym. I don¡¯t think she has the motivation to do anything that doesn¡¯t require alcohol and boys. I pull the pillow off her and throw it to the other side of the room. She doesn¡¯t budge so I pick up my saucepan and spoon and bang away. After a solid minute and a half of annoyingly loud clangs and bangs she climbs to her feet and knocks the saucepan from my hand. ¡°Okay fine! Just let me pee.¡±


    While she pees, I grab two breakfast bars from the cupboard and throw them into my gym bag. I pack an extra towel in case she wants to shower afterwards, as well.


    When she comes back, she¡¯s wearing a pair of huge sunglasses and the same clothes she slept in. ¡°This will have to do because I cannot be bothered getting dressed.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡±


    I throw her a hair tie and she pulls her blonde hair into a messy bun on the top of her head and strands of her light hair frame her face. We leave the house and climb into the car. As we drive toward the gym I thank her for last night.


    ¡°That¡¯s what friends do¡ªlook out for each other.¡± She shrugs.


    ¡°True. Sorry I ruined that thing between you and rich boy.¡±


    She flicks her hand at me. ¡°Nah, forget about it. I Googled him when we got home and his dad is the one with the money. Little douchebag coasts off his dad¡¯s reputation.¡±


    Ha! People in glass houses shouldn¡¯t throw stones.


    ¡°Says little miss I own a law firm.¡± I shoot back at her.


    Her smile widens and she laughs loudly. ¡°Shut up!¡±


    The gym is buzzing with fitness freaks this afternoon and Selena wants to sit over in the boxing section to get a closer look at all the buff boys slamming each other. Thankfully, Seth isn¡¯t there so I agree to it. She sits on a seat behind a spare bag and watches in enjoyment through her sunglasses.


    ¡°Hey, perve,¡± I laugh. ¡°You¡¯re here to work out, not ogle.¡±


    She brings her knees up to her chest and leans back in her chair in a way that¡¯s no doubt horrible for your spine. My back aches just looking at her sitting like that. ¡°Incorrect. You¡¯re here to work out. I¡¯m here for support.¡±


    The long, glass wall beside us takes up a good portion of this side of the gym. Inside are training rooms for mixed martial arts or yoga or anything else sports/class related. People in suits line the glass wall of the room next to Selena and I. I push myself onto the tips of my toes, curious to peek in. Usually, when the room is taken, the glass turns black preventing anyone from looking in. Today, the people using it didn¡¯t seem to care that the glass was still see-through.


    I pull hand wraps from my bag. I got them when I was sixteen. I used to take boxing classes when I was younger. Selena did too until she dropped out because she thought her biceps were getting bigger. I¡¯ve been meaning to replace these wraps with newer ones, but I like how light these are and they came with a thumb loop and Velcro, making it easier to wrap. Selena helps me slide into a small pair of gloves. They¡¯re tight, but I can feel the support around my wrist. I bend my knees slightly and slam my gloved fists into the bag. I count out even rhythms and numbers in my head. I love boxing. I haven¡¯t done much of it over the past few years, even less now that Seth dominates this area, but it¡¯s a nice release for me. Blade doesn¡¯t like females boxing, apparently, there¡¯s something emasculating and manly about it. Pfft.


    ¡°Olly?¡± I glance up to see Dad stepping out of the training room. He¡¯s wearing a hooded jacket and a pair of black sweat pants¡ªsomething I haven¡¯t really seen him wear in a while.


    ¡°Good morning Mr. James.¡± Selena greets him, sliding her sunglasses onto the top of her head. She¡¯s always referred to my dad as Mr. James even though they¡¯ve known each other since I was in primary school.


    ¡°Hey Sel. How are ya? How¡¯s ya dad?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m good and he¡¯s great, thanks for asking.¡±


    Dad turns his attention back to me. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen you box in a while.¡±


    I glance down at the gloves. ¡°Yeah, I felt like it this morning.¡±


    ¡°Come, I want to show you something.¡± He grabs me by the forearm and he pulls me toward the training room.


    ¡°Can¡¯t you just tell me what you want to show me? I have a good imagination.¡± I say, knowing very well that Dad wants me to see something that has to do with Seth. Selena jumps out of her chair to follow closely behind us. A man with flawless dark skin steps out of the room, preventing us from entering. His eyes are a nice golden color with dark brown specks. They¡¯re comforting. My eyes drop to the stopwatch that hangs around his neck and I realize he was here yesterday, too.


    ¡°Uh, Rick. I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a good idea. He¡¯s in a pretty foul mood this morning.¡± He says to Dad.


    ¡°It¡¯s only my daughter, Darryl. He¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    Dad steps past Darryl, pulling me into the training room and I gasp out loud as I witness Seth drive his knee into his spar partner¡¯s face. My hands immediately cover my mouth and my pulse kicks up a notch, sending dangerous levels of nausea through my stomach. Seth whips around to face me at the sound of my gasp. His eyes are as dark as volcanic glass and they startle me. I don¡¯t like fighting¡ªplay, practice or otherwise and being in the presence of someone who does it for a living makes me uncomfortable. Thankfully, the spar partner has a face guard on and isn¡¯t hurt too badly, but I still can¡¯t bring my hands away from my face. The sparer¡ªor victim, rather¡ªclimbs shakily to his feet and saunters to join the rest of them on the other side of the room.


    ¡°Awesome.¡± Selena whispers beside me.


    Seth¡¯s chest rises and falls rapidly. Under the lights, I see the sweat glisten on his body. He¡¯s wearing a pair of shorts with the slits in the side and his hands are wrapped in white. If I had to guess, I¡¯d say it¡¯s soft gauze and surgical tape.


    When I look away from Seth I notice everyone else in the room. There has to be at least twenty people in here. Twelve of them are in suits and lined against the wall taking notes and discussing things under their breath. One is the coach and the others are battered spar partners stretching out their wounds and groaning in the far corner. Had Seth hurt them all?


    Of course he had.


    Beside me, Dad is all giddy and excited, making me feel even more nauseous. I drop my hands to my sides as Dad looks at me. This is what he wanted to show me?


    ¡°You don¡¯t look too well.¡± Dad says, chuckling at me. He knows exactly how I feel about fighting. Whenever he made me watch his MMA fights I¡¯d sit next to him with my eyes squeezed tightly shut. I don¡¯t know what it is, but every time flesh connects with flesh... I feel sick.


    ¡°If you think that¡¯s bad, you should have seen her last night.¡± Selena laughs. I snap my head over my shoulder, shooting daggers in her direction, but she doesn¡¯t seem to get the message. ¡°She got roofied at Lux¡¯s.¡±


    Dad¡¯s brows furrow. ¡°What¡¯s roofied?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a¡ª¡±


    ¡°An alcoholic beverage.¡± I interrupt quickly, cutting Selena off. ¡°A strong one.¡±


    Dad looks completely lost. ¡°All that new age stuff is confusing. I remember walking into a bar when I was young and only having three choices. What¡¯s wrong with a good old fashioned Jack Daniels?¡± He chuckles. ¡°As long as you¡¯re having fun and you¡¯re careful, I don¡¯t care how many roofies you drink.¡±


    Selena snorts as she catches a laugh in her throat. I shake my head and she mouths her apology to me before turning and leaving the room. My gaze finds Seth¡¯s face again and his eyes are glued to me. Heat spreads under my skin as I realize his stare is anything but playful.

 Page 11

    ¡°Dad, could you give me a minute with Seth?¡± I ask, quietly.Advertisement


    I have no idea what I¡¯m doing or what I¡¯m going to say, but I get the feeling if Seth doesn¡¯t talk to me right now he¡¯s going to flip out.


    Dad nods curiously. ¡°Okay...¡±


    When my dad leaves, Seth orders his people out and soon it¡¯s just me and him. As the door closes Seth storms over to me, each step he takes becomes more purposeful, more frustrated. I¡¯m painfully aware people are watching through the clear glass and I feel like an animal in a zoo.


    ¡°Can we have more privacy?¡± I ask him before he reaches me and his large body moves over to the wall to flick the button. The sheet of glass darkens and we can see out at the people in the gym, but no one can see in.


    No one can see us.


    I swallow hard at the realization. He watches me from the wall and I can¡¯t help but to stare back at him. Darryl said Seth is in a bad mood today and he isn¡¯t wrong. My hands are sweating inside my gloves and I can¡¯t wipe it away on my pants.


    ¡°You look sexy in a pair of gloves.¡± His voice is unbearably intimate, but his eyes are eerily dark. I don¡¯t reply. I have absolutely no idea what to say to that. His chest is still moving quickly and I¡¯m slightly worried. How hard are they working him?


    ¡°Are you alright?¡± He asks me.


    I nod.


    ¡°Did anything... bad happen to you?¡±


    Bad? Is he referring to something sexual because I was drugged? I shake my head. ¡°No, Selena took me straight home and I passed out.¡±


    His eyebrows rise and fall slightly in relief. Why does he care?


    ¡°If you had come to dinner with me it never would¡¯ve happened.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true, but I didn¡¯t.¡±


    His thick arms swing slightly as he makes his way over to me. My heart stops cold, and I feel clammy moisture beginning to spread across my palms as I keep my eyes glued to his approaching form. Each purposeful, frustrated step brings him closer to me until we¡¯re pressed flush against each other. I have to force myself to breathe slowly as his rough hands slide into the nape on each side of my neck. He presses his forehead to mine and his head is damp with sweat, but I don¡¯t care. He exhales through his nose, controlling his fast breathing and then lets me go. My head spins a little and I have to change my stance to bring it back into focus.


    ¡°One of my friends, from the steakhouse, saw Selena dragging you from the club. He said you were in pretty bad shape.¡± He tugs at the tape, un-wrapping it from his hand. ¡°I was worried.¡±


    I feel unnerved that his friend saw Selena and I at the club. It seems everyone has an eye on someone in this city. What confuses me the most is the fact that Seth is worried about me. It seems awfully uncharacteristic for a guy that appears to avoid his feelings and only wants sex from me which, by the way, I tried to give him. Am I the only one that can¡¯t make sense of this entire situation? I wonder if the reason he¡¯s been in such a bad mood today is because of me.


    ¡°Why?¡± I ask straight out. No bullshit.


    ¡°Because you¡¯re a good girl.¡±


    I roll my eyes. There¡¯s that fucking word again.


    Seth¡¯s voice darkens at my eye rolling. ¡°Do you know what happens to naive, good girls that pass out in clubs?¡±


    ¡°Maybe you have the wrong idea about me...maybe I¡¯m not as good as you want me to be.¡±


    He tosses his wraps the floor, his eyes flaring. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to be good. I want you to be bad so I can do all the things I¡¯ve wanted to do to you since I saw you and not feel fucking guilty about it.¡±


    ¡°I was bad, remember? You still rejected me.¡±


    He grabs my waist, pulling me into him. I press my gloves against this chest and try to back away, but his grip is tight. My face is calm, but inside my body is going haywire.


    ¡°No, you were trying to be bad, but you¡¯re not.¡± His hand travels up my side and caresses my cheek. A glimmer of sorrow fills his eyes and I frown. ¡°I was determined to have you, but then I ran into you at the steakhouse and I couldn¡¯t do it. You were sitting there all nervous and uncomfortable with your cute book and¡ª¡± He exhales, removing his hand from my cheek and running his hands over his face. ¡°Besides, I¡¯m still not one hundred percent sure you even wanted me that night or if you were trying to get back at your ex.¡±


    His quiet, vulnerable words stole the air from my lungs. Yes, I was trying to prove a point that night, but not to Blade¡ªto myself. I wanted to see if I was capable of being fun and spontaneous. I almost succeeded until Seth decided to develop morals.


    ¡°I did want you.¡± My voice is barely audible¡ªalmost breathless, but he hears it loud and clear. Seth¡¯s hand caresses my hip bone and I close my eyes. I do want you. The words fall silently to the back of my mind. A warm feeling floods me, almost filling me completely as a need throbs between my legs. I hang my head. What the hell am I doing? I should be shielding myself from this beautiful man because if I let him in, he will hurt me...but why does it feel so good, so comforting? His calloused hand grazes across my neck and then along my jaw. I let out a slow exhale as he tilts my head upward and I open my eyes.


    ¡°Why you do this to me?¡± I demand.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Touch me and act like you give a shit?¡±


    He frowns and his tongue abruptly glides across his bottom lip. I realize he has no idea why he¡¯s always on my heel. My gaze flickers over his face, waiting for him to answer me, but he never does.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this a strange turn of events.¡± My dad¡¯s voice rings through the room and I immediately jump away from Seth. Any feeling of desire dissipates as his sudden entrance shakes some sense back into me. I¡¯m annoyed at myself. Why am I so Goddamn weak? I can feel Seth watching me, feeling no embarrassment that my dad is here.


    ¡°My daughter with a fighter? Who would have guessed?¡± Dad¡¯s smiling, of course. A promising fighter is probably the only guy he¡¯ll approve of.


    ¡°I¡¯m not with him.¡± I state proudly. ¡°He just doesn¡¯t know how to keep his hands to himself.¡±


    The same cocky smile I witnessed when I first saw Seth spreads over his lips and I feel my cheeks heat up. ¡°Dinner is at seven, I¡¯ll pick you up.¡± Is his only retort.


    I open my mouth to decline, but Dad chimes in for me. ¡°That sounds great. Let me know how it goes.¡± He turns his attention to Seth. ¡°Darryl is kicking my ass. We need to resume training.¡±


    Seth nods and I floor it from the training room, pissed. When all of his people are back in the room and the door is shut, Selena launches herself at me, gushing like an idiot.


    ¡°Oh my God!¡± She squeals into my shoulder. She pulls back and watches me eagerly. ¡°He is a fucking animal!¡±


    ¡°Tell me about it.¡± I can¡¯t seem to straighten out the crease in my forehead and Selena notices my frustration.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Are you mad because I accidently told your dad about the roofie thing?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s part of it.¡±


    ¡°O, I¡¯m sorry, jeez. Relax a little. He¡¯s clueless. He had no idea what I was talking about.¡±


    ¡°Luckily...¡± If my dad knew what a roofie was he¡¯d drag me back to the house and never let me leave.


    ¡°Seth is so...¡± Her swift change of subject doesn¡¯t go by unnoticed. ¡°God, did you see him?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I saw him Sel, I¡¯m not blind.¡±


    She glowers at me and crosses her arms over her chest. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, did Seth jam a stick up your ass in there because you¡¯re being a total bitch right now.¡±


    I slam my fists into the bag, not following any rhythm just punching with pure frustration. ¡°Sorry,¡± I mange to breathe after a combo. ¡°It¡¯s Seth. He gets on my nerves.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯d he do?¡±


    ¡°He thinks he¡¯s taking me to dinner. I don¡¯t want to go.¡±


    Selena stares at me wide eyed and mouth agape like I¡¯m the biggest moron she¡¯s ever met.


    ¡°Um, okay...¡± She slips in between me and the bag, clenching her chest so I don¡¯t punch her in the boob. ¡°Are you dumb? Hello?! That guy is sex on legs. You have to go, if not for yourself then go for me!¡±


    I swipe the glove over my forehead to clear some sweat, only the material spreads it instead of absorbing it.


    ¡°He¡¯s like a big Popsicle of sugar and we girls are ants just dying for a taste. One day the popsicle comes down to our ant hill looking all sugary and irresistible and he invites one small ant to come suck on him and get as much sugar as she wants, but the ant declines and we¡¯re looking at her like, what the fuck and¡ª¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± I laugh, cutting off her story. ¡°I think I get it.¡±


    ¡°Good. So, what are you going to do?¡±


    I wipe the glove over my forehead again and pant slightly. ¡°Well, I¡¯m not going to stand the guy up. I know how that feels.¡±


    She squeals, drawing attention to us. ¡°You¡¯re going to get some sugar!¡±


    I¡¯ve changed my outfit about a million times already and Seth is meant to be here any minute. First, I cycled through four maxi-dresses, but decided they were too safe so I moved onto jeans and sweaters. A few more minutes pass and I have no choice but to wear a pair of skinny jeans with a small pair of black heels. I throw down the lilac sweater and kick it into the cupboard. Purple and any variation of the color didn¡¯t sit well with my white complexion. I pull a black lacy top from the depths of my wardrobe, cursing myself for being slack on the washing. It¡¯s a sleeveless, high cut top, stopping just before my neck. The solid fabric covers my stomach and my breasts. From the breasts up is lace, giving off a sophisticated, but not too good kind of look. I smile to myself and enter the bathroom. I blow dry and straighten my hair with no problems and the second I finish my make up there¡¯s a firm knock at the door that pulls me all the way over to it. I straighten my jeans and flick my hair over my shoulders. Moisture floods the palm of my hands and I feel nauseous. Oh God. What am I doing? I grasp the handle and open the door. Seth leans against the railing, toying with the car keys in his hand. I breathe a subtle sigh of relief when I see that he¡¯s dressed casually in a black sweater that¡¯s rolled up to his elbows. He looks so deliciously handsome and my insides flutter. His eyes rake my skinny jeans and lacy top with approval. A gentle breeze pushes his scent in my direction and it engulfs me. It¡¯s pleasantly alluring¡ªnothing like the body spray Blade used to use. I clear my throat nervously and step out of my house, closing the door behind me.


    ¡°You look good.¡± He says, smiling up at me.


    Jesus. We haven¡¯t even left my house yet and I already want to throw myself at him.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t like the dress I wore the other night?¡± I tease.


    ¡°I see those kinds of dresses all the time.¡± His hand wraps around mine and the gesture causes my heart to race. ¡°Sometimes more is less.¡±


    He aids me down the stairs and I try to control my pulse under his touch. Seth doesn¡¯t strike me as a hand holder which brings me to my next question, what¡¯s he playing at? He doesn¡¯t do girlfriends and for someone who¡¯s worried I can¡¯t separate my emotions from sex he¡¯s sure doing his best to work his way under my skin. He opens the car door for me, like he had the night at the club and I climb in. Seth shuts the door and jumps in the driver¡¯s seat before pulling away from my apartment.


    The drive to the restaurant is brief and I cringe when we roll into Salsa¡¯s car park. It hurt my facial muscles to keep a polite smile on my face. I never want to eat Mexican again, ever.


    I slide from the car and we walk into the restaurant, hand in hand. We¡¯re immediately seated in a secluded spot by the back corner and hidden away from appraising eyes. It seems a lot of people know who Seth is and the stares unnerve me. I slide my black clutch onto the table next to me as a young girl comes and takes our order. Seth orders a large plate of shredded beef tacos, a salad and a side of Mexican fries for us both. When she leaves, his attention is solely on me and I play with my fork, twisting it with my fingers, pretending I¡¯m not bothered by his enthralling gaze. Seth seems a little anxious, his chest rising and falling a little quickly and every few minutes he rakes his teeth over his bottom lip.


    ¡°You¡¯re probably wondering why I invited you to dinner.¡± He says, eventually.


    The waitress comes back and she places two glasses on the table, filling them with water. Seth leans back in his chair, making himself at home and his index finger slowly caresses the lip of the glass. I nod my head.


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to make it up to you.¡±


    Nervously, I reach for my glass and bring it to my lips. Sadly, the cold water doesn¡¯t do anything to ease the fire burning inside me. ¡°For what?¡±


    ¡°It seems you¡¯ve had a hard week and I probably made it worse.¡±


    ¡°You did.¡± I reply. I really don¡¯t want to sound like a bitch, but for some reason I can¡¯t shake it. Being back in this restaurant makes me anxious. He leans forward in his chair.


    ¡°Look, you can¡¯t keep holding a grudge against me because I didn¡¯t sleep with you and before your girl brain over-thinks what I¡¯m saying¡ªyou¡¯re not ugly, you¡¯re not fat and it¡¯s not because you threw yourself at me.¡± I scowl at him and the corner of his lips twitch before turning serious again. ¡°If I let you have me I¡¯m almost certain you wouldn¡¯t be able to handle me¡ªyou don¡¯t even know me and look how angry I make you. I¡¯m a mess. I¡¯m stubborn, selfish, spoiled and a little too proud. I act like I don¡¯t give a fuck¡ªand most of the time I don¡¯t, but there¡¯s a small portion of me that cares too much and for some reason...you fall into that portion. Don¡¯t ask me why because I have no idea and it has been driving me fucking insane.¡± He leans back in his chair and produces a toothpick from his pocket. He shoves it into his mouth and works it while he thinks. Before he speaks his brows pull together. ¡°I can¡¯t have good...because I don¡¯t deserve good.¡±

 Page 12

    I frown a little, but I never take my eyes off him. So this whole thing is really about him, not me? Why do I fall into that portion? Why does he care about me? From where I¡¯m sitting, he seems so vulnerable and young.Advertisement


    ¡°I keep touching you because I can¡¯t stop and like I¡¯ve said before, I will hurt you and soon it¡¯s going to be you that has to tell me to back off because my resistance is running out.¡± His eyes narrow in. ¡°If you don¡¯t push me away and you decide to let me in... Remember that I don¡¯t do girlfriends and I don¡¯t do feelings. If you get hurt, it¡¯s on you. Not me.¡±


    The weight of his words rest on my chest and I¡¯m frustrated that he thinks I¡¯d let him in after everything he just said. Maybe I should tell him to back off now...that would save me the trouble of doing it when he decides to let himself go after me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be one of those girls.¡± I say quietly. He raises an eyebrow and I continue. ¡°The girls in the gym that come for you and you send them away... I don¡¯t want to be one of them. You disrespect women.¡±


    His eyes brighten and a wide smile spreads across his face. He genuinely finds what I said amusing. ¡°No, I treat them how they want me to treat them. They want to fuck, so I fuck them. That¡¯s it.¡±


    ¡°And if one of them wants more from you?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯d have to be pretty special to change my stance on relationships.¡± He throws his toothpick onto the table. ¡°No one has tried to get to know the real me, but I take full blame for that.¡±


    ¡°So tell me about the real you.¡±


    He winks at me. ¡°Nice try.¡±


    ¡°You brought me to dinner, but we can¡¯t talk about you?¡±


    He shakes his head. ¡°I brought you to dinner to apologize and to give you a heads up. That¡¯s all.¡±


    I press the fork into my finger to relieve some of my anger. God! Why is this man so difficult?!


    ¡°Well, message received.¡± I drop the fork, grab my clutch and rise to my feet, but before I leave I turn to him. ¡°I don¡¯t need a guy like you in my life.¡±


    ¡°A guy like me?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ve already had someone that sleeps with everything that moves and quite frankly, I don¡¯t think I can stomach another. You can take your dinner, your apology and your heads up and you can shove them up your ass because I don¡¯t want you. I don¡¯t want you now and I won¡¯t want you next week. I hate myself for even thinking that I can have a little bit of fun after breaking up with my boyfriend of six years.¡±


    I storm from the restaurant and through the car park. I¡¯ll walk home. It isn¡¯t that far. My heels clatter against the concrete footpath underneath me. I haven¡¯t cried yet, I¡¯m too angry, but I know I will later and it won¡¯t be because Seth told me he is incapable of relationships or because he likes to fuck random girls. It will be because I¡¯m stupid and weak. I will cry because I let Seth upset me¡ªa stranger who knows nothing about me has upset me and I hate myself for it. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a white car slow to a walking pace.


    ¡°Olivia, get in the car.¡± He calls.


    His voice sends dread hurling through my stomach. I flip him off and increase my pace.


    The car jerks to a stop and he jumps out. Thick, strong arms seize my waist and he throws me over his shoulder.


    ¡°Jesus Christ, Seth. Put me down.¡± I shout.


    He opens the passenger door and sits me on the seat. He reaches across and pulls the seatbelt over me, clipping it in tightly. The door slams shut and I jump a little. He climbs into his side and says. ¡°I pissed you off, at least let me drive you home.¡±


    I wind down my window to get fresh air on my face and I don¡¯t look at Seth the entire drive. I open my door and climb out before the car comes to a full stop. Seth calls after me, but I ignore him. I can just make out the sound of his phone ringing and him growing more frustrated with every second that passes. I¡¯m almost at the top of the stairs when he answers his phone.


    ¡°What?¡± He snaps. His voice is as cold as ice and I stumble to get my key in the door. ¡°Again? Are you fucking kidding me? Fine.¡±


    I step inside and slam the door shut as his car speeds away from my apartment. I throw my clutch across the room, growling in anger. There goes the gym I like to work out at. I¡¯m never going back there again. I can¡¯t possibly stomach seeing him. It¡¯d make me too mad. I sigh. It¡¯s going to kill Dad when he discovers I¡¯m going to a new gym. Maybe I¡¯ll try the new twenty-four hour one that has just opened up on the main street. Screw it. I¡¯ll just jog a block or two instead. I drop onto the couch and shield my face with a pillow. I lay there for a little while thinking about all the things he said to me. I spend a good portion of the night trying to decipher him, but I can¡¯t.


    He¡¯s unreadable.


    Chapter Eight


    It has been a week since the night with Seth at Salsa¡¯s. I haven¡¯t gone to the gym and Dad has been blowing up my phone checking on me at least twice a day. He tells me that Seth has been distant and more aggressive than usual. Of course he blames me, but I take no notice of it and keep playing dumb. I shouldn¡¯t care and I¡¯m sure I don¡¯t. Blade hasn¡¯t contacted me in over a week either and that¡¯s helped me keep my head clear. The only contact that I¡¯ve had from the opposite sex besides work and everyday stuff was the card that Seth had jammed in my door when I was at work two days ago. It said:


    Sorry, call me. ¨CSeth


    And it had his number sprawled neatly along the bottom. I saved his number into my phone, but I¡¯m yet to glance at it. I don¡¯t really want to hear what he¡¯s got to say. I¡¯m not in the mood for his ¡®I care, but I don¡¯t care¡¯ with the ¡®I want you, but I can¡¯t let myself have you¡¯ kind of speeches.


    I haven¡¯t seen Selena since she left my house when we got back from the gym last week. She says she¡¯s been so busy with work and her dad is pissed at her because she showed up to work drunk. Typical Selena.


    I wave goodbye to Mason who is now back to talking to me like I didn¡¯t reject him and I leave work. I have to walk a mile down the road to get to my car and by the time I get there, my boobs are sweaty and my legs ache. I¡¯ve been overdoing it when it comes to running this past week. It¡¯s my only release.


    I drive home, shower and put on my pajamas. Nothing sounds better than a hot dinner and TV to me right now. The frozen dinner is covered in a thin layer of freezer ice. It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve had a microwavable dinner. When I close the freezer door, a colorful photo catches my attention. My younger face is contorted into a frustrated scowl while Mom¡¯s cherry colored lips are pressed firmly against my cheek. My brother is standing behind us, squishing himself into the photo. His light brown hair is styled upright and his dark green eyes are illumined by the flash. I love this photo. It reminds me of a time when all we had was each other... but then Chase and I grew up and we wanted something for ourselves. I never understood why my parents were so desperate to have me back under their wing and I still don¡¯t, but this photo helps me deal with it. Chase and I are their life.


    I shove the dinner into the microwave and hit two minutes. While I wait, my eyes fall back onto the photo. I should call Mom. I grab my phone and drop into the couch. It¡¯s been a while and I miss her. As it rings, I feel awkward and can¡¯t quite get into a comfortable position. I pull one of the blue, square pillows from my couch and onto my lap.


    ¡°Hello, James residence.¡± Mom answers.


    ¡°Hey, mom...¡±


    ¡°Olivia, honey!¡± She coos. ¡°How are you?¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± I pull on a loose piece of string hanging from one corner of my pillow. ¡°How¡¯s things?¡±


    ¡°Fine. Your dad tells me you haven¡¯t been showing up at the gym... If there¡¯s something wrong, you know you always have a place here.¡±


    ¡°I know, Mom. Rest assured nothing is wrong, I¡¯ve just been busy. Have you heard from Chase?¡± I ask, changing the subject.


    ¡°Oh, yes. He¡¯s in Pakistan on break right now. He should be home in five months before he has to ship out again. Darling, are you coming to dinner on Sunday?¡±


    I exhale. I forgot about that. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be there.¡±


    ¡°Good, good. I¡¯m making Shepherd¡¯s pie and roast vegetables.¡±


    ¡°Yum.¡±


    Mom chuckles excitedly through the phone, making me smile.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna go. I¡¯ve got a lot of Gossip Girl to catch up on.¡±


    ¡°Okay honey. I¡¯ll see you Sunday. I love you.¡±


    ¡°Love you, too.¡±


    I hang up and smile. That phone call should keep her happy for a little while. The microwave beeps and I pull out the chicken fried rice. I tug on the plastic and as soon as it opens a little, steam pours out, burning the tips of my fingers.


    ¡°Ow!¡± I squeak, snapping my fingers away and stuffing them into my mouth to ease the burn. I leave the dish on the counter to cool and lean over the sink to run my fingertips under the cold water. I¡¯m distracted as my phone rattles around on the bench, emitting an annoying vibrating noise. I lean over to glance at the screen. Selena¡¯s name in big, bold letters flashes on my screen. Should I answer it? I am not going out tonight, no matter how hard she begs.


    ¡°The answer is no.¡± I say immediately, answering the phone with my dry hand and putting it against my ear.


    ¡°Jesus, O, have a little faith, you don¡¯t even know why I¡¯m calling.¡±


    The cool water from the tap sooths my fingers as I plunge them further under the running water. ¡°Is it to go clubbing?¡±


    ¡°No, actually.¡±


    I sag in relief, shutting off the water. ¡°Spill.¡±


    ¡°On a scale of one to ten how much of a lonely hermit are you?¡±


    ¡°One. I¡¯m a happy hermit.¡± I reply, tugging the tea towel off the oven and drying my hand.


    ¡°Don¡¯t lie. You¡¯ve been a sourpuss since your date with Seth.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a date.¡± I quickly push in. ¡°It was dinner.¡± And it¡¯s not like I actually ate.


    ¡°Whatever. Look, I need a favor... I lost a bet with a friend and she set me up for a blind date with this guy only I can¡¯t make it.¡±


    ¡°No way. I¡¯m not doing it.¡±


    ¡°Olivia, please, I¡¯m begging you. It¡¯s only one dinner.¡± I don¡¯t reply and she exhales deeply. ¡°I¡¯ll pay you a hundred bucks.¡±


    The money makes me consider it. ¡°Where and when?¡± I ask curiously.


    I can see her jumping up and down right now. ¡°Phillip¡¯s Gourmet, tomorrow night.¡±


    I groan. ¡°What time?¡±


    ¡°Six-thirty... you¡¯re going to do it?¡±


    I sigh, tapping my fingers in an even beat on the bench top. ¡°Yes, I¡¯ll do it for you and you better pay me.¡±


    ¡°I will. Thank you so much, this is going to totally save my ass.¡±


    ¡°I hope he isn¡¯t going to expect anything from me because I don¡¯t plan on staying with him very long.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯ll be okay. He can be a little grabby if he has too much to drink, but he¡¯s harmless so don¡¯t freak out if he tries to kiss you.¡±


    ¡°Wait, what?¡±


    ¡°Thanks again, O. Love you.¡±


    ¡°Selena? Shit!¡±


    I slide my phone across the bench. Why do I get myself into these things?


    All of the frustrated glares I¡¯m getting from families of four are quickly ruining my night. I agree that the four-person table I¡¯m sitting at by the large window is a little unnecessary, but all the two-seaters are taken. It¡¯s not my fault the waiter sat me here. I would¡¯ve been happy at the bar.


    The other half of this blind date hasn¡¯t showed up yet and he better because if I¡¯m stood up by a guy that I haven¡¯t even met yet I¡¯m going to be pissed.


    A blond man with boot cut jeans and a formal, light grey shirt approaches me. The top two buttons of his shirt are open, exposing a small amount of chest hair. He¡¯s quite handsome and has bright blue eyes. I rake my eyes up his tall body. I¡¯m not that short, but this guy makes me feel like a hobbit. He¡¯s even taller than Seth and I estimate Seth to be at least 6¡±1.


    ¡°Are you Selena?¡±


    I smile politely. ¡°No, Selena couldn¡¯t make it. I¡¯m her friend, Olivia.¡±


    His mouth spreads into a wide, wolfish grin and it kind of gives me the creeps. I think he wants to devour me... and not in a good way. I feel uncomfortable as he slides into the seat next to me instead of sitting across from me like a normal person would. I try not to assume he means anything by it. This is a date... after all. His gaze is stabbing at my body, like little sharp daggers puncturing every inch of my flesh and I feel... exposed. Awkward. Disgusted.


    ¡°I¡¯m Brent.¡± He says.


    That sharp, creepy stare of his overtly drifts to my breasts before returning to my face. I become painfully aware of the top I¡¯m wearing. It has a scoop neck that dips low in the front. I cross my arm over my chest and lean on my elbow, pretending I didn¡¯t notice.


    ¡°Have you ordered?¡± He asks.


    ¡°Nope, let¡¯s order now.¡± I quickly snap my fingers at a passing waiter. The sooner this is over, the better. I order a chicken salad and he orders a steak and two beers. When the beers come, it¡¯s clear he ordered both for himself. While we wait he tries to converse with me and I¡¯m very picky with what information I share with him. Some of it I make up. He hasn¡¯t done anything else to put me off, but I don¡¯t like the vibe he¡¯s giving off. I become conscious of my tight, black pencil skirt as his knee grazes mine and I cross my legs over each other to keep them away from him.

 Page 13

    ¡°If you don¡¯t mind me saying, you¡¯re very beautiful.¡±Advertisement


    My stomach churns, but I force myself to smile. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    I¡¯m going to kill Selena when I see her next.


    The next twenty minutes is filled with sleazy comments, lame pick up lines and occasionally his hand brushes across my thigh. When excuses himself to use the bathroom, I pull my phone from my bag. My fingers tap the screen quickly as I compile my text message.


    TO: SETH. TIME: 7:00PM


    I¡¯m going to kill you! This guy


    is a creepo! I can¡¯t wait for


    dinner to finish. I¡¯m coming


    to kick your ass!


    I get a reply almost immediately.


    FROM: SETH. TIME: 7:01PM


    Where are you?


    My brows knit together and I reply.


    TO: SETH. TIME: 7:01PM


    Are you high? I¡¯m


    with Brent... YOUR date at


    Phillip¡¯s Gourmet.


    I hit send and read over the text messages. It¡¯s strange, even for her. My stomach sinks into my shoes and my hand flies up to cover my mouth.


    ¡°Oh no.¡± No, no, no, no... Seth is directly under Selena in my contacts list and I must have clicked his name without realizing. I feel like vomiting. A hot, nervous flash tears through my body when my phone vibrates and I see Seth¡¯s name.


    FROM: SETH. TIME: 7:03PM


    I¡¯m on my way.


    Brent slides back into his seat next to me and I shove my phone into my handbag. I don¡¯t have time to reply to Seth. A two-seater is cleared up in front of us and I¡¯m aware that it¡¯s the only available table in the entire restaurant. I look at the waiting line... only large families wait. I silently pray that a couple comes and takes up the table before Seth shows. He¡¯ll probably sit right in front of me and make this as torturous as he can. The waiter brings our food and I occupy myself by eating my salad. While I shovel lettuce and chicken into my mouth, I can¡¯t help but notice Brent¡¯s eyes boring into me. I try to ignore the way he watches me closely as I eat the pieces of delicious grilled chicken or hard croutons. I glance at him and his eyes are following the fork as I bring it to my mouth and he stares at my lips as they close around the food. The chicken, tomato and lettuce form a barricade in my throat, fighting its way down as I force myself to strike up a conversation with Brent. I¡¯ll do anything to get him to stop staring at me. ¡°Tell me about yourself.¡±


    McCreepo tells me all about his life. He has a little boy named Jonathon and he¡¯s not allowed to see him because his ¡®bitch-whore¡¯ of an ex doesn¡¯t allow it. Other than that, I¡¯m not paying that much attention to what he¡¯s saying... I¡¯m too focused on the front door. Every time someone enters my heart skips a beat. I¡¯m anxious because I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going to happen...


    It isn¡¯t until we finish dinner and dessert rolls around that I see Seth¡¯s large frame enter the restaurant. His eyes find me immediately and relief washes over his features. He looks like he¡¯s come from the gym. He¡¯s wearing a white hoodie and black sweat pants. Even dressed down he provokes a naughty filling inside me. I clear my throat. I¡¯m still mad at him.


    Seth eyes Brent and his eyes darken as Brent rubs his hand across my shoulder before resting it on the back of my chair. Brent reeks of booze. He¡¯s slammed down countless beers and he¡¯s hiccupping all over the place. Great. He¡¯s going to try and kiss me. I drop my gaze to the table. Brent¡¯s mumbling about some motocross event and when I look back up Seth is being seated at the table in front of us. His back is to me, but I know he¡¯s listening.


    ¡°Do you want to come?¡±


    I flick my head toward Brent. ¡°Hm?


    ¡°To motocross tomorrow night?¡±


    I flush. This is awkward. ¡°No... I don¡¯t like motocross.¡±


    ¡°We can do something else if you want?¡± His chair scrapes the floor as he shuffles closer to me. I can¡¯t breathe as he rubs my back and his other hand caresses my knee. He sways slightly in his chair and I¡¯ve had enough.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna go.¡± I mumble, sliding my chair back.


    ¡°Well,¡± he exhales following suit and standing up. ¡°At least let me walk you to your car.¡±


    Seth angles his head and I can see the whole side of his face. His jaw flexes under his skin and I know he wants me to say no.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. You stay and finish your beer.¡±


    ¡°Oh please,¡± he laughs. ¡°I insist.¡±


    Brent holds the door open for me and I try hard not to look over my shoulder as we exit the restaurant. The car park is void of any people and the lighting is dim. I¡¯m kicking myself for not getting a park closer to the door. I can hear his feet scuffing annoyingly over a few pebbles and I think I heard him stumble a few times, too. In the distance I can see my car and I almost sprint to it. I hit unlock on my button and grab the handle. Brent grabs my other hand and presses his lips to it.


    ¡°It was a pleasure meeting you.¡± His voice is slurred and his eyes are thinned into drunken slits.


    My face hurts from too many fake smiles. ¡°You too.¡±


    I try to pull my hand back, but he won¡¯t let it go. I take a deep, calm breath. ¡°Brent, let me go.¡± I say in my calmest voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to hurt you. I just want one goodnight kiss.¡± He pulls me into him and his hands push down to my ass as he squeezes me hard against him. I twist and turn as much as I can to get away from his face. As a result, his mouth finds my earlobe instead and a sickening shudder overcomes me as his tongue traces my ear.


    ¡°You¡¯re so beautiful.¡± His breath is warm and sticky on my skin.


    I shove him, but he doesn¡¯t budge. My heart slams against my ribs and painful tendrils of fear burrow through my stomach.


    I try to bring my knees up, but he¡¯s too close and has positioned himself on a weird angle. I have no momentum and no way to kick his junk.


    ¡°Brent!¡± I whisper urgently at him when I see Seth¡¯s fierce, approaching figure. ¡°Let me go!¡±


    ¡°I just want one kiss. Just one. I¡¯m not going to hurt you.¡±


    ¡°Let her go.¡± Seth didn¡¯t raise his voice, but the coldness in it got Brent¡¯s attention.


    ¡°Fuck off.¡± He spits. ¡°We¡¯re busy.¡±


    His small hands cup my breasts and I let out a strange choking sound from my throat. My stomach churns and twists. I think I¡¯m going to throw up. Seth¡¯s warm hand grabs my arm and I¡¯m yanked out from underneath Brent. He tucks me safely behind him and as I peer around his large frame, Seth slams Brent¡¯s face into the side of my car. I gasp and my hands fly up to cover my mouth as I distinctly hear a cracking sound and I don¡¯t know whether it¡¯s my window or Brent¡¯s nose. Brent rolls around on the car park floor clenching his face. I grab onto Seth¡¯s waist and tuck myself behind him. Seth wraps an arm around his back and presses me closer to him. My hands are shaking¡ªI¡¯m shaking. Seth steps toward Brent again, but I squeeze him harder.


    ¡°Please, stop.¡± I beg and I¡¯m not even sure why I want Brent to be spared. Then I realize it¡¯s not about Brent. I couldn¡¯t care less about him. It¡¯s about Seth. I don¡¯t want him to do something stupid because of me. Seth wraps an arm around my shoulder and guides me away from my car and away from Brent. Soon, I find myself leaning against his Range Rover. Seth is pacing the concrete in front of me, breathing heavily and running his fingers through his hair. I step forward. ¡°Seth? Are you okay?¡±


    He tilts his head up to the cloudy sky, but his breathing doesn¡¯t slow. I walk closer to him and run my hands over his chest and up the sides of his neck. He tilts his head down to me, but I can¡¯t see his expression, it¡¯s too dark. His breathing slows and he pulls my hands from his neck, allowing his thumb to glide over the top of my hand.


    ¡°You¡¯re shaking.¡± His voice is low and soft.


    ¡°Yeah... I... it won¡¯t stop.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re in shock. We need to call the police.¡±


    ¡°No, we can¡¯t. You hurt him. You¡¯re an MMA fighter, right? You can¡¯t hurt people. You¡¯ll lose everything you¡¯ve worked for.¡± He shrugs, but I feel him tense. ¡°I¡¯ll tell Selena and she can tell her friend.¡±


    He nods. ¡°Then at least let me take you home.¡±


    ¡°What about my car?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll pick it up tomorrow.¡±


    Seth helps me into the car and we drive away from the restaurant. I keep replaying what almost happened over and over in my head. Did I do something wrong? Did I give off a wrong signal somewhere? A tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I don¡¯t want to cry in front of Seth.


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, Olivia.¡± He states, like he read my mind.


    ¡°It is. Selena told me he can be grabby when he drinks... I still showed up.¡±


    He frowned, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I told Selena I would and I thought I¡¯d be able to avoid it.¡±


    Even I realize how completely idiotic it sounds. Seth and I don¡¯t talk for the rest of the ride and when we pull up outside my house, he helps me from the car. Sometimes, for a guy with attitude issues, he sure was a sweetheart. He walks me up the stairs and I unlock the door. Before I open it, I turn to face him and he looks up at me through his eyelashes from a lower step. From this angle he seems so vulnerable, so innocent.


    ¡°Can you stay with me?¡± The words are out of my mouth before I have the chance to think about them.


    He noticeably stiffens and his gaze falls from my face to the stairs. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡ª¡±


    ¡°Please...I don¡¯t want to be alone. You can leave when I¡¯m asleep, if you want to.¡±


    He analyzes me for a little while before nodding his head and climbing the rest of the stairs. When we enter my house, Seth kicks off his shoes and I bypass the dimly lit lounge room to my bedroom. I flick the light switch on and look at Seth. He seems uncomfortable and I have no idea how to make it easier for him. I doubt he has ever kept a girl non-sexual company until she falls asleep before and the thought makes me smile a little. I grab a pair of boxers and a tank top from the end of my bed and I change into them in the bathroom. I brush my teeth to get rid of the taste of second hand beer and when I go back into my room I see Seth has taken his hoodie off, but kept his white t-shirt on. He¡¯s still standing in the same spot, awkwardly and I bite back a smile as I switch out the overhead light. I cross the room to put the lamp on and then climb into bed. To my surprise, Seth¡¯s arms gather me close so my face is on his chest and his nose is buried in my hair. He¡¯s so warm, I want to snuggle in closer and wrap my legs around his. It takes all of my strength not to run my free hand that rests on my leg, over his body.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Olivia.¡± He says. His lips moving against the top of my head.


    ¡°For what?¡±


    ¡°For not trying harder to clear things up between us after dinner. If I had, maybe this could have been averted.¡±


    ¡°What happened with Brent isn¡¯t your fault...¡± I pause to contemplate my next words. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have agreed to go and I definitely shouldn¡¯t have showed up even though I knew he was going to get grabby. All of this screams me, not you.¡±


    My fingers twitch as I lift my hand from my leg and move it towards his body. I want to rub his chest and feel the warmth of his skin under my hand, but I rest it on his hip instead and Seth tenses underneath me.


    ¡°You can relax.¡± I giggle. ¡°I¡¯m not going to throw myself at you, again.¡±


    On my head I feel his lips smile. ¡°It¡¯s not you I¡¯m worried about.¡±


    He pulls me in tighter and I feel safe. I can only hope to repay Seth for tonight, at some point.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for running out on dinner last week.¡± I mutter.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I don¡¯t blame you. I can be a bit of a dick.¡±


    ¡°You really don¡¯t like talking about yourself?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    Silence fills the room and normally I¡¯d push for it, but I don¡¯t want to ruin this. My heart beat speeds up in the silence and the adrenaline of tonight begins to wear off. There¡¯s a constriction in my throat and I can¡¯t seem to shake it. Seth drags a deep inhale through his nose.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have the most interesting life,¡± He exhales. ¡°But there is one thing that completely turned my world upside down¡­ my dad died of cancer two years ago just before my amateur championship bout in the MMAC tournament.¡±


    I wrap my arm around his waist and my chest compresses. This is what my dad was talking about the first day I saw Seth in the gym. The family drama was his Dad¡¯s death?


    ¡°I stopped doing MMA to look after my mom and my little sister.¡±


    The thought of Seth having a little sister warms my heart. I can only imagine how protective he is of her.


    ¡°And now you¡¯ve decided to try again?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s what he would¡¯ve wanted. Everything I know about MMA, I learned from him.¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure he¡¯s very proud of you.¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°Maybe... he was a hard guy to please.¡±


    ¡°Sounds familiar.¡± I chuckle.


    He squeezes my arm between his index finger and thumb causing me to laugh out loud.


    ¡°I¡¯m not that bad.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡±


    We lay together in silence. It isn¡¯t awkward or uncomfortable. It¡¯s nice and I don¡¯t want to fall asleep because I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ll never experience it again.


    ¡°I have a qualifying fight in tomorrow night here in Maine. If it goes well and I win, I¡¯ll be contending in the MMAC amateur tournament.¡±

 Page 14

    That explains all the men in suits and coaches that have been hanging around Seth in the gym, taking notes.Advertisement


    ¡°Come with me.¡±


    A gust of air fell from my mouth. I¡¯m shocked he¡¯d ask such a thing. Why does he want me there? I can¡¯t watch him fight. I can¡¯t even stomach watching it on T.V. ¡°I can¡¯t. I don¡¯t like fighting...¡±


    ¡°You were boxing a bag at the gym last week.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s different. A bag is an inanimate object. A human is real... they feel everything.¡±


    He rolls me back a little and leans his face right over mine. Traumatized by Brent or not, my body reacts to him immediately. My breathing becomes shallow and my hands move to play nervously with the string of my shorts.


    ¡°I want you where I can keep an eye on you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a big girl. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    ¡°Olivia, the last two times I¡¯ve seen you, you¡¯ve managed to get yourself into some kind of trouble. First it was the roofie and now tonight... I won¡¯t be able to fight my best unless I know you¡¯re safe.¡± His index finger glides along my jaw and his eyes turn dark and serious. ¡°And that is directly in my line of sight.¡±


    ¡°Why do you care?¡±


    ¡°I told you. You fall into the small portion of shit I care about.¡±


    But why?! I want to demand. There¡¯s so much going on in Seth¡¯s head that I need to understand, but he¡¯s making it difficult for me.


    ¡°You¡¯re confusing.¡±


    He sighs and rolls backwards onto the pillow pinning me to his side. ¡°I know.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go to your fight.¡± And that¡¯s final.


    ¡°Your dad is coming.¡±


    I groan, closing my eyes briefly. ¡°Really?¡±


    Seth nods. ¡°And I told him you were coming so he¡¯s really excited about the whole daddy-daughter thing.¡±


    I push myself up on my elbows. ¡°Seth! Why¡¯d you do that?¡±


    ¡°I had to have a back-up plan in case you said no.¡±


    I thrust away from him. ¡°You don¡¯t understand. I don¡¯t like to watch people fight. It¡¯s... barbaric and inhumane.¡± Bruised flesh. Blood. Broken bones. Who enjoys that?


    ¡°It¡¯s fun.¡± He counters, pulling me back into him. ¡°I can tell your dad you cancelled. I¡¯m sure he won¡¯t be too upset.¡±


    I know he¡¯s playing a game with me. Dad will be devastated if I don¡¯t go. My whole life he has tried to rope me into watching MMA with him and going to little events here and there. I don¡¯t think Seth realizes how high he¡¯s gotten my Dad¡¯s hopes.


    ¡°Fine...¡± I sigh. ¡°I¡¯ll go, but don¡¯t be upset if my eyes are shut the whole time.¡±


    Seth holds me tightly and kisses my forehead, rendering me breathless. I close my eyes. I don¡¯t know much about Seth Marc, but I do know he isn¡¯t what he seems. I know he puts on a hard front, but if tonight is anything to go off, I¡¯d say he¡¯s not what he wants people to think. There¡¯s a kind of gentleness to him... and I like it. I can¡¯t have good... because I don¡¯t deserve good. I smile to myself as his words play through my mind.


    He deserves good.


    Chapter Nine


    When I leave work the next day, I feel nauseous and worried. In three hours I¡¯ll be attending my very first fight and I¡¯m not sure how it¡¯s going to go. Do it for dad. Do it for Seth. I told myself all day, but it still didn¡¯t help shake my nerves.


    Seth ended up staying the night last night and the look on his face in the morning when he realized we¡¯d snuggled all night was priceless. He left early and then came back with my car. Thankfully, the window wasn¡¯t cracked.


    After that, he left to go to his training session. I learned that he trains twice a day for three hours each time. When he makes it to the professionals he¡¯ll train three times a day to his maximum limit to be able to keep up with everyone else. How horrendous. I offered him a breakfast bar, but he laughed and said he needed something a little more sustaining before rushing out the door.


    I drive home from work, chewing my nails the entire way. When I pull up, Selena is sitting on my front steps. I begged Seth to let me bring Selena tonight. At first he was a little frustrated because he blames her entirely for what happened last night, but he eventually caved. Trepidation fills my stomach when I realize I haven¡¯t told Selena about last night. I need to. She needs to warn her friend that Brent is not the kind of guy she should be hanging out with. I step out of the car and straighten my skirt. Selena¡¯s eyebrows draw together and her lips purse into a pout. Uh-oh. I know that look.


    ¡°I know I¡¯m not late.¡± I say, climbing the steps. ¡°So you can wipe that pout off your face.¡± She doesn¡¯t move as I unlock the door. When it¡¯s open, she follows me inside.


    ¡°What the hell happened last night?¡± She snaps, slamming my door behind her.


    My chest tightens as a large ball forms in my throat. ¡°I need to talk to you about that.¡± I manage to say.


    ¡°Seth beat up Brent because he walked you to your car? What the fuck, Olivia?¡±


    I¡¯m taken back by her interesting, yet completely vague take on the story. ¡°Okay, first of all¡ª¡±


    ¡°Why was Seth there in the first place? My friend assures me that Brent is a kind soul who wouldn¡¯t do anything to provoke anyone. Seth is a fucking psycho!¡±


    I snap. I don¡¯t know what happened, but suddenly my anger flew off the charts.


    ¡°How dare you! You¡¯re my best friend! You¡¯re supposed to ask for my side of the story, not come around slinging accusations!¡± I yell and Selena¡¯s face drains of color. She takes a step back and a tear spills down her cheek. ¡°Seth saved me from that grabby piece of shit who was practically mauling me in the car park!¡±


    Her lips quiver and her green eyes widen.


    ¡°Yep, that¡¯s right.¡± My voice is still loud and angry. ¡°Brent¡ªthe not-so-kind soul¡ªgot overly wasted at dinner and walked me to my car. Then he thought it appropriate to put his hands and his mouth all over me!¡±


    ¡°Olivia, I¡¯m sorry...¡±


    I subconsciously count to ten. ¡­eight¡­nine¡­ten. ¡°It¡¯s not your fault. You warned me... after bribing me, but still. You can tell your friend that Seth wasn¡¯t the problem.¡±


    Selena launches at me and pulls me into a hug. I tell her the whole story. I tell her that he was a little too full on at dinner and that I texted Seth instead of her.


    ¡°O... I¡¯m sorry that happened to you. I didn¡¯t think he¡¯d be so aggressive...¡±


    ¡°Tell your friend she shouldn¡¯t be hanging around with him.¡± I shake my head. ¡°He kept saying he wasn¡¯t going to hurt me, but you can never be too certain.¡±


    She pulls a hundred dollars from her back pocket and hands it to me, but I refuse to take it. Something doesn¡¯t sit right. Taking money for what happened... it feels wrong.


    ¡°It¡¯ll make me feel better if you take it.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want it... I can¡¯t take it off you.¡±


    We argue about the money until she stuffs it back into her jeans. ¡°What do we do? Do we tell the police?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°I can¡¯t. Seth hurt him...he¡¯d lose everything.¡± I swallowed hard. ¡°Last night is over. Let¡¯s never speak of it again and get ready for the fight.¡±


    Selena rushes from my lounge room and out to her car. She drags in the same suitcase she brought when we went clubbing. ¡°I¡¯ll do your make-up.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to overdo it tonight so I¡¯ll do my own.¡±


    She looks at me like I¡¯m crazy. ¡°You are aware that we¡¯re going to a fight, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°And it¡¯s going to be recorded and plastered all over the internet.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    She shrugs. ¡°Suit yourself, but I¡¯m going to look good.¡±


    I slide into a pair of black skinny jeans, pull on a white tank top and a cream sweater on top of that. I slither into a pair of small, white heels and as I¡¯m about to put my brush through my hair, there¡¯s a knock at the door. Selena sticks her head into the bathroom. Her hair is tied up in a ball of mess at the top of her head and half of her face is covered in make-up. I shrug my shoulders as I walk past her and I open the door. My eyes meet a familiar stop watch. It¡¯s Seth¡¯s coach¡ªDarryl. He¡¯s wearing a black t-shirt with the word ¡®coach¡¯ sewn into the breast of it and his pants are a strange khaki color.


    ¡°Hello?¡± I ask cautiously.


    ¡°Miss James, here are your tickets for tonight. The venue is on the back.¡±


    ¡°The coach does personal errands?¡± I question him, accepting the tickets.


    He scoffs and his hands find his hips. ¡°Yep. He better get a personal assistant when he makes it to pro because I didn¡¯t sign up for this.¡± There¡¯s a smile on his lips as he speaks. ¡°I¡¯ll see you at the fight.¡± He turns from me and heads down the stairs. On the back of his shirt is Seth¡¯s last name in big white letters and I smile. How did I get so entangled in his world? Just last week I would¡¯ve claimed we¡¯re enemies.


    ¡°Who was it?¡± Selena shouts from the room. I close the door and go into her. I flash the two tickets and she makes a high-pitched noise from her throat. ¡°I knew being friends with you would pay off one day.¡± She winks at me and I stick my tongue out at her.


    I place the tickets safely in my bedside table and I go back to the bathroom. I stare at my appearance. My hair is down and hangs by my breasts. It seems so... plain and lifeless. I need volume tonight. I grab my curling iron out of a drawer and I curl my hair. I didn¡¯t do it too crazy, just enough to give it some body and a little twist. I clip the front pieces of my hair back and apply minimal make-up. I step back to admire my work. I look simple. I look good and that¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m going for.


    Selena takes a little longer than I expected to get ready. We¡¯re meant to leave two hours before the fight to avoid the traffic and masses of people. Instead, we leave an hour before the fight. Luckily, there is no weigh in for tonight¡¯s amateur qualifier otherwise we¡¯d definitely miss it. I drive over the speed limit to get to the exhibition center as quickly as possible. Beside me, Selena slams back tiny bottles of wine. She claims to be really nervous, but I see the wide smile on her face and she can hardly keep her legs still. She¡¯s beyond excited and is mistaking the adrenaline coursing through her veins as nervousness. I¡¯m nervous. I feel sick and the steering wheel is damp from the sweat that seeps from my palms. Every inter-section I pass through I contemplate doing a u-turn and heading back home. I drive underneath the exhibition center and find a park just as someone else is backing out. I love when that happens!


    I pull into the parking space and shut the car off. I take a little while to pull the keys out of the ignition.


    ¡°Olivia, fights aren¡¯t that big of a deal. It¡¯s like sex¡ªit¡¯s between two consenting adults. It¡¯s animalistic and it¡¯s fun! Relax a little.¡±


    Fights aren¡¯t a big deal? Am I the only weirdo that finds it appalling? Selena falls over herself as she drags herself from my car, flashing me her white underwear.


    ¡°How can you be tipsy already?¡± I laugh after her. ¡°You only had two wine coolers.¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t eaten today.¡± She straightens her short, white dress and flicks her blonde curls over her shoulder. ¡°Let¡¯s do this.¡±


    I suck in a huge breath of air and let it out. ¡°Let¡¯s do this.¡±


    I¡¯m fine when we give our tickets to the girls in the short shorts and bikinis and I¡¯m fine when we enter the room Seth will be fighting in. It¡¯s huge¡ªalmost like a stadium. When I was last here, it was for a book fair and it was flat and empty, filled with only tables and cheap books. Now, it has a temporary grandstand around the whole room, providing plenty of seating. The thunderous noise of laughter and chatter fills my ears and I can barely hear myself think. I feel the blood drain from my face when my gaze falls onto a roofless cage in the middle of the room¡ªit¡¯s circular and covered in ads and sponsor logos. Selena hooks her elbow through mine and drags me down the aisle to the front of the stand.


    ¡°Olivia!¡± I barely make out my dad¡¯s voice.


    I turn my attention to the left and see his happy face and wide smile. He waves me over and we squeeze past a few men in suits. I recognize them from the training room at the gym. Behind me, I hear Selena giggle and say hi. As I draw nearer to Dad, he grabs my wrist and tugs me the rest of the way. He can barely contain his excitement. He¡¯s wearing a black T-shirt with ¡®SETH¡¯ written across the front and a pair of denim jeans tucked into a pair of brown work boots.


    ¡°This is the closest I¡¯ve ever been to an MMA ring.¡± He shouts in my ear.


    I glance up at the intimidating structure. This is where Seth will fight and I¡¯m right here. I¡¯m close enough to get blood and sweat on me and I don¡¯t like it. Not one bit.


    Dad¡¯s thumb runs over the top of my hand. ¡°I¡¯m really proud of you.¡±


    ¡°Me? What¡¯d I do?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re here and I know how much of a big deal fighting is for you.¡± His thin lips curl into a warm smile. ¡°He must be really special to you.¡±


    ¡°Dad, Seth and I aren¡¯t¡ª¡±


    Someone taps my shoulder and I turn to see Darryl, Seth¡¯s coach. There¡¯s a crease carved into his forehead and his full, dark lips are pressed tightly together. ¡°Seth wants to see you.¡± He calls over the chatter of the spectators.

 Page 15

    I open my mouth to ask what for, but I don¡¯t bother. Seth¡¯s decisions don¡¯t usually come with understandable reasons.Advertisement


    ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡± I shout to Dad and Selena.


    She moves into my seat to keep him company as Darryl¡¯s hand wraps around my wrist and he guides me out of the stand, up the aisle and over to four security guards that I didn¡¯t even notice when I walked in.


    ¡°She¡¯s with Seth.¡± Darryl says, flashing his ¡®backstage¡¯ pass. The guards part like the red sea to let us through. He pulls me through two big, white double doors and let¡¯s my arm go.


    ¡°Seth is having a little bit of trouble...¡± Darryl¡¯s voice bounces off the walls of the wide walkway. It¡¯s a lot quieter in here. ¡°I don¡¯t know whether you know, but he suffers from mild anxiety. Normally, I give him a boxing bag and he works through it that way, but lately he seems to prefer another method.¡±


    Seth has anxiety? I never would have guessed that one. I mean, sometimes I notice he gets a little worked up, but it usually doesn¡¯t last long. Not like the one that I had when Blade first cheated on me. It was horrible. I couldn¡¯t breathe and my stomach rolled and twisted. I felt like vomiting everywhere and worst of all, it felt like it wasn¡¯t going to end and I was going to die.


    The way Darryl looks at me says it all. ¡°Me? I¡¯m the other method?¡±


    ¡°I guess so.¡±


    My pulse is beating in my ears as we pass lots of smaller closed off doors. Names in permanent marker are written on pieces of paper and stuck to the centre of the wood. Sonne. Jacobs. Russell. Smith. Donskov. Pine. Kennedy and then Marc.


    The handle to Seth¡¯s door fits nicely into the palm of Darryl¡¯s hand as he turns it. The door opens and I step in. My gaze falls onto the ads for protein shakes and other supplements on the back wall. They had names I couldn¡¯t even pronounce. Eventually, I drag my eyes from the wall to Seth and something in my stomach flutters. He¡¯s sitting on the bench, topless and hard. His thigh muscles bulge out of the slits in his black shorts. My throat dries immediately and there¡¯s no moisture in my mouth I can swallow to fix it. There¡¯s no lack of moisture ¡®down there¡¯, however. Two men stand before Seth¡ªone is a chubby man with long white hair tied in a ponytail at the base of his neck and he¡¯s wrapping Seth¡¯s hands. The gauze envelops the palm, supports the wrist and runs between the fingers. The other man, with the spiky black hair and huge blue eyes is observing. Seth¡¯s eyes are hidden by his long lashes. His chest moves hard and deep, like he¡¯s trying to calm himself. His eyelids flick open and his dark, chocolate eyes rake me. I force my stiff legs to step closer. The two men assess the wrap and in low, hushed words they decide it¡¯s sufficient. The white haired man packs up his little toolbox, wishes Seth luck and they stroll from the room. Seth flexes his fingers and clenches them into fists in front of him.


    ¡°Leave us alone.¡± Seth¡¯s voice is soft, but loud enough for everyone to hear.


    As they leave, my eyes remain on Seth and they have since I stepped into the room. His large frame slides off the table and he shakes his arms and rolls his head to each side. I try not to stare¡ªor drool¡ªat the muscles between his shoulders and his neck.


    ¡°Darryl said you need me...¡± My voice is quiet and uncertain. This whole situation has definitely put me out of my comfort zone. The crowds and the fighting... it¡¯s just not my kind of place.


    ¡°I do.¡± The way his tongue wrap around the words make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It¡¯s intimate... it¡¯s so intimate and it makes me want to close my eyes. As he steps closer my heart forces its way into my throat and my lungs have diminished in size, making breathing harder. He looks intense and intimidating with his head angled down to me. There are no deep lines or noticeable frustration on his features, but his breathing is uneven.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure if you were going to come.¡±


    My clammy fingers find each other and I twist them together in a nervous fiddle. ¡°I said I¡¯d come so here I am.¡±


    ¡°Darryl told you about me?¡±


    He¡¯s referring to the ¡®mild¡¯ anxiety. Stiffness overcomes the back of my neck as I realize I might be intruding. I manage to nod. Seth closes his eyes and takes my hands in his. My hands feel small compared to his large, calloused ones. He wraps them around his neck and tilts his head up to the ceiling. His skin is warm, causing my blood to boil. His hands find my hips and his breathing slows. What are we doing? What is this exactly? He lowers his head and opens his eyes. They search mine and I know he¡¯s asking himself the same questions. I know I should step away now, but I¡¯m absolutely powerless against him. It¡¯s like as soon as he looks at me, or touches me I become wrapped up in some spell... and strangely, I want to be. ¡®If you get hurt, it¡¯s on you. Not me.¡¯ His words flow through my mind and I pull my hands away. His eyebrows knit together and I step back just as the door opens. Reluctantly, Seth drags his gaze away from me.


    ¡°Time to warm up, pal.¡± Darryl informs him. He closes the door and we¡¯re left alone again.


    ¡°I should go...¡± I turn away from him, feeling his eyes on the back of my head.


    ¡°Are you ready?¡± He calls to me and I can hear his usual confident tone return.


    I face him. ¡°For what?¡±


    Seth¡¯s lips jerk at the corners before curving into a full blown smile. All traces of the strangely intimate relationship we just shared¡ªgone¡ªreplaced by his cocky demeanor. ¡°For the ride of a lifetime.¡±


    I scoff at him and open the door.


    ¡°Good luck.¡± I call over my shoulder.


    I sink lower into my chair using one hand to shield my face and the other is clenching my stomach. In front of me two men are brawling. I hear fists slam into flesh and I hear the fighters gasp as wind is forced from their lungs. The salty smell of sweat and the copper scent of blood engulfs me. I don¡¯t know how much longer I can sit here. This is the third fight I¡¯ve sat through. Selena disappeared from her seat a while go in pursuit of a snack cart¡ªGod knows how she can eat right now. My stomach is threatening to throw up the ham and cheese toasty I had for dinner. Adrenaline¡ªas well as fear¡ªtears through my veins every time I hear flesh connect with flesh. Around me, the crowd goes berserk, begging for more. The grandstand shakes beneath my feet and the crowd roars. Out of curiosity, I peek through my fingers. The referee with the full black outfit, thrusts the winner¡¯s hand in the air.


    ¡°The winner of this bout, ladies and gentlemen, Donnnn Russeeeeelllllll!¡±


    As the crowd screams, I look at the loser, although victim seems more fitting. He¡¯s out cold. His left eye is swollen shut and blood pours from his brow, irritating his eye further. Even being knocked out the disappointment is clear on his face. His eyes flutter open and he uneasily pulls himself to rest on his knees and the medical staff comes to check on him. A big cotton ball on a stick is pressed against the brow to stem the flow and I cringe as my ribcage squeezes my heart. Seth¡¯s fighting next...what if he ends up the one on the floor? The thought alone is enough to send my already frazzled nerves through the roof. This is bad. Next to me Dad is on his feet cheering and bouncing on his toes. My plastic chair vibrates as he stomps his feet.


    ¡°Seth¡¯s up next.¡± He beams at me.


    The smile I give him feels fake. I wish I can be as excited as Dad... but I¡¯m not. I¡¯m scared. I watch the winner, Don Russell, give an interview. His bald head suits his strong, angular face and there''s a shadow of stubble along his chiseled jaw line. He wipes the back of his hand across the light sheen of sweat that glistens on his forehead. The thick, black lines of his dragon tattoo wrap around his bulging bicep and they contract as he jabs his fists through the air in celebration. He annoys me and I have no idea why. Judging his appearance and the way he holds himself, I¡¯ll assume he¡¯s cocky and proud, but it¡¯s only to mask his own trauma¡ªlike Seth. Maybe all fighters have a sad story that compels them to fight. A dark fabric covers my sight. I pull it off and look at Selena who sits in the seat next to me.


    ¡°I got you something.¡± She stuffs a hot dog into her mouth and a drop of tomato sauce spills over the edge and onto her white dress. She gapes at me wide eyed, like it was my fault. ¡°This is white!¡± She huffs. ¡°I¡¯m never going to get this out.¡±


    She hands me the hotdog and I hold it away for me. The last thing I want is to get it on my clean sweater. From her handbag, she produces another piece of black fabric¡ªand pulls it over her head. It¡¯s a t-shirt, a large one. It covers her entire dress and ¡®SETH¡¯ in big white letters is printed across the center. She takes her hotdog back. ¡°I got you one. They only had large.¡±


    I open the shirt in front of me and I can¡¯t pretend I don¡¯t love it.


    ¡°Put it on.¡± Dad says, encouraging me.


    I throw it on over my sweater and the shirt pretty much swallows me. It¡¯s comfortable though and I feel less...erratic in it. A voice sounds through the speaker, making me jump slightly.


    ¡°Ladies and gentlemen, tonight¡¯s final fight is about to commence.¡± A shiver rolls down my spine. ¡°Fighting out of the red corner is 2011 MMAC tournament¡¯s runner up, hailing from Seattle, Washington¡ªSeth Maaaaaaaarc!¡±


    On cue, the crowd launches themselves to their feet and my ears pound as their screams rip around the arena. I manage to keep myself in my seat, but it doesn¡¯t help with the electrical current flowing through me. My heart is racing, pumping blood way too fast. My head spins a little and I¡¯m not sure if it¡¯s fear or adrenaline. I can¡¯t see him, but through the speakers, I hear his song playing. I¡¯ve never heard it before... I close my eyes and try to listen to it over the noise.


    I never feared death or dying


    I only fear never trying


    I am whatever I am,


    Only God can judge me, now


    One shot, everything rides on tonight


    Even if I''ve got three strikes


    I''mma go for it


    This moment, we own it


    And I''m not to be played with


    Because it can get dangerous


    See these people I ride with


    This moment, we own it


    I can feel a small smirk on my lips from his intro song. It¡¯s such a Seth kind of song. I open my eyes as Seth rounds the corner. All the warmth in my body seems to be moving south and I squeeze my thighs together as desire pools. His black hoodie covers the majority of his face, but I can just see his full lips protruding slightly due to his mouth guard. His hoodie lays open on his chest, exposing that delicious midsection and black gloves that don¡¯t cover the ends of his fingers adorn his hands. He flexes his fingers at his side and every time they clench so does my sex. Darryl and three others from Seth¡¯s team follow him right up to the door of the cage, but only Darryl steps inside with Seth. Seth yanks off his hoodie, exposing all of his flexing muscles and I notice the tattoo across his hip says; ¡®If you can make it through the night there¡¯s a brighter day¡¯.


    Interesting.


    He hands his hoodie to Darryl. Darryl gets in Seth¡¯s face¡ªmotivating him. He slaps Seth on the shoulder a few times before he leaves the ring. Seth bounces on his toes to keep himself warmed up. He ignores all of the shouts and cheers from the spectators and his gaze circles the center before landing on me. I feel heat climb into my cheeks and swell deep in my core. He sees my shirt and the corner of his lips tug upwards in a cocky smirk. He winks at me and all I can do is smile back. Muscle bulges from Seth¡¯s arm as he sticks it in the air. The crowd goes wild. High pitched squeals, manly roars and naughty comments hurl in his direction. He looks back at me and flicks his eyebrows like he just proved something. I roll my eyes. He wants me to see how many people want him. Even the promo girls circling the ring in their bikinis can¡¯t keep their eyes off him. And it¡¯s not like I can¡¯t figure that out for myself. I see the t-shits and the posters these people have brought to support him. They love him. He¡¯s pure male and he dominates the ring with his mere presence. His music cuts off and the announcer¡¯s voice floods the room. I don¡¯t take my eyes of Seth. His over-confident facade melts into a more serious look. His eyes darken and he draws himself to his full height. He¡¯s like a brick wall of sex and muscle.


    ¡°Introducing the final contestant for tonight, fighting across the cage in the blue corner is first time amateur contestant, fighting from his hometown right here in Portland, Maine¡ªFredrick Kennneedddyyyyy!¡±


    On queue the crowd claps and cheers. It¡¯s loud, but not as loud as they were for Seth. I want to sink into my chair, but Selena¡¯s hand wraps around mine. Her knees are bouncing and she chews her bottom lip.


    ¡°You nervous?¡± I giggle at her.


    ¡°A little bit...¡±


    Music plays in the background and I immediately recognize it as Raining Blood by Slayer. The song unnerves me, but not as much as Fredrick Kennedy himself. He storms down the aisle on the far side of the room, coming fast like a freight train. He¡¯s topless, wearing a similar pair of pants to Seth. His head is shaven and it glistens under the bright lights. I don¡¯t know how else to possibly describe this guy¡ªhe¡¯s hard, probably brought up on the wrong side of the tracks and he has a very determined glint in his eyes.


    ¡°Ow, don¡¯t squeeze so hard.¡± Selena complains, pulling her hand from mine.


    Fredrick goes to his corner, ignoring the crowd completely. He wants to win. Seth smiles lazily at him and rolls his shoulders back and forward. While the announcer rattles off all of the sponsors and directors, Seth kicks his feet against the padded pole and paces around. Darryl and the others stand up against the ring, their heads peering just over the top. Fredrick¡¯s team is doing the same.

 Page 16

    ¡°And the referee in charge of the action,¡± The announcer says. ¡°Harrison Logan.¡±Advertisement


    The referee beckons for the two fighters to enter the center of the ring. My breathing deepens immediately and I¡¯m leaning forward in my chair. Seth and Fredrick stand only inches away from each other. Not once do they break eye contact. A microphone drops down from the roof and the referee speaks into it with his southern drawl.


    ¡°Okay ya¡¯ll, I want a good clean fight. I won¡¯t tolerate anything less. Touch gloves, let¡¯s do this.¡±


    The gloves never touch. The crowd falls silent as Seth and Fredrick stare at each other. There¡¯s too much tension and I have no idea where it¡¯s coming from.


    ¡°I said touch gloves.¡± The referee repeats.


    I hear a unanimous exhale come from the crowd as they touch gloves and go back to their corner. A loud ¡®ding¡¯ noise rings around the arena, penetrating my chest and forcing my heart to stop. I¡¯m petrified. Excited. Sick... I don¡¯t know what to do. I can¡¯t watch, but at the same time I can¡¯t drag my eyes away as Seth and Fredrick circle each other. My hands are up and covering the bottom half of my face as Fredrick dives at Seth¡¯s legs. Seth manages to dodge it and gives the guy time to scamper to his feet. Before Fredrick realizes what¡¯s happening Seth delivers two jabs to his face. Fredrick brings his guard up, blocking the incoming fists. Seth drops lower, slamming his fists hard into the guys¡¯ ribs. The crowd goes crazy. They¡¯re jumping out of their chairs¡ªstanding on them¡ªthey¡¯re doing whatever they can to get closer to the fight. Even Selena is on her feet, but I¡¯m not. I¡¯m the only one that can¡¯t get out of her seat to cheer Seth on.


    Fredrick recovers and dives at Seth again, this time he takes him down. I see him try to wrap himself around Seth, but Seth fights him off and delivers hard elbows to his face. Blood stains Seth¡¯s pointed elbow and I cover my eyes. I can¡¯t do it. I can¡¯t watch. Beside me, Dad is yelling out technical mumble jumble that Seth can¡¯t hear and Selena is... being Selena. ¡°Yeah! Fuck his shit up! Whoooooooo!¡± She screams.


    My heart is beating so loud I can hear every thump drumming in my head with a deafening rhythm. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening and I¡¯m too scared to take a peek. Dad taps my shoulder and I peer up at him. He points toward the ring and reluctantly I look over. Seth is leaning against the cage, looking directly at me and panting like he¡¯s run a mile. Fredrick is being checked over by the medics. His eyebrow is cut pretty badly and it¡¯s bleeding into his eye.


    ¡°They¡¯re deliberating if he can continue the fight.¡± Dad informs me.


    I drag my gaze back to Seth. He¡¯s covered in blood and sweat. He points at me and then at his eyes and then at his chest. He wants me to watch him... I shake my head. I can¡¯t. It¡¯s too much. He does the gestures again. And again.


    ¡°Just watch, O. No one is going to die.¡± Selena laughs in my ear.


    I glance around and there are hundreds of eyes on me. Some regard me like a weirdo and God knows I feel like one. I can only imagine how stupid I look. Who comes to watch a fight when they can¡¯t stomach it? Me, that¡¯s who. I let a slow exhale out of my nose and I nod, swallowing the bile that creeps up my throat. I pray that the medics won¡¯t let Fredrick fight, but when they lather more Vaseline across his brow and he climbs to his feet. I know that isn¡¯t going to be the case.


    The fighters take their position on their side of the ring and the bell sounds again. I grasp the edges of my seat and squeeze it tightly. Please let this be over quickly. Seth wastes no time attacking Fredrick and with one hard punch to the jaw, Fredrick¡¯s body goes rigid and he falls backwards. Seth jumps at Fredrick, but the referee cuts him off.


    That¡¯s it.


    The fight is over.


    ¡°Ladies and Gentleman,¡± The announcer calls excitedly. ¡°The winner of the final bout tonight is Seth Maaaaaaaarc!¡±


    The mass of people scream and grab each other. I¡¯m surrounded by singing and laughing and crying. Instead of celebrating, I stare wide-eyed. I witnessed my first knock-out and it¡¯s... sad, but at the same time it¡¯s exhilarating. My entire body is vibrating and I¡¯m panting like I fought the guy myself. I¡¯m so aroused¡ªimpossibly aroused. I¡¯ve never felt anything like it and I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening to me. Dad pulls me to my feet and wraps his arms around me. My spine aches as he squeezes and tips me from side to side. His thin lips place two kisses on my forehead and he lets me go, turning his attention back to Seth. A camera crew runs into the ring and interviews Seth. He¡¯s smiling and laughing. He¡¯s bouncing and talking and every now and then his gaze would drift to me briefly before returning to the interviewer. He shrugs on his hoodie and walks from the ring. As he passes us he flicks his head in the direction of his room and Dad wastes no time in pulling me and Selena from our seats and dragging us all the way to Seth¡¯s room. When we enter, everyone is going nuts, clapping and cheering and dancing¡ªexcept Seth. He¡¯s sitting on his bench, looking as calm as ever and unwrapping his hands. Someone from Seth¡¯s team immediately engages Selena in a conversation and Dad talks to Darryl. I lean against the wall and watch him gush over the fight. I can¡¯t help but smile as he uses his hands to mimic the fighter¡¯s movements.


    Seth slides off his bench and approaches me. My skin grows hotter the closer he gets to me. His eyes are bright, taking on a more caramel than chocolate color. The corners of his lips curl into a cheeky smirk as he glances down at me.


    ¡°I like your shirt.¡± He tugs at the front of it and my breath hitches as he pulls me a little closer. ¡°I look good on you.¡±


    I feel my own smile form. ¡°You could have.¡± I say, reminding him of the night he told me no.


    He laughs once and his eyes flare with amusement as I pull my shirt back and step away from him before my dad sees us or I get blood on me.


    ¡°Did you enjoy the fight?¡± His tongue runs across his bottom lip to moisten it and I find myself staring at it. He knows it too because now he¡¯s trying not to smile at me.


    I clear my throat and force my eyes back to his. ¡°I don¡¯t know how anyone can enjoy a fight.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re lying. I saw how excited you were when I knocked him out.¡±


    I touch my hand to my cheeks, my face feels like its burning. Had I enjoyed seeing a man being knocked out? No. Had I enjoyed seeing Seth completely dominate him and win? Yes. I enjoyed seeing Seth happy. He leans in close and I can feel his body heat waft onto me. My entire body tightens and stands to attention. ¡°It¡¯ll be our little secret.¡±


    His hand wraps around mine and he brings my knuckles to his lips. He kisses each one softly and our eyes remain locked. Jesus. Christ.


    ¡°That fight was for you, Olivia.¡±


    For me... What does that mean? Why does he have to be so cryptic? So hot and then cold? I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m supposed to say to that... so I nod my head.


    Darryl slings his arm around Seth¡¯s shoulder and I pull my hand back. My fingers tingle at the coolness outside his grasp. ¡°What do you think, Seth? Shall we go celebrate?¡±


    ¡°Abso-fucking-lutely.¡± He replies. ¡°What do you say?¡±


    I stand there for a few seconds then I realize his question was directed at me. ¡°Oh, me? Right. No, sorry. I¡¯ve had enough excitement for one day.¡±


    Seth frowns. On him, even something so bitter is beautiful.


    ¡°Suit yourself.¡± Darryl shrugs. ¡°Your dad is coming.¡±


    Of course he is. He¡¯d never pass up the opportunity to party with a fighter. In fact, I¡¯m pretty sure it¡¯s on his bucket list. Darryl saunters away, leaving me alone with Seth again.


    ¡°Thanks for the fight...¡± I tell him. ¡°I¡¯ll see you around.¡±


    I step away from him and over to Selena. ¡°Are you ready to go?¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t I go out with them?¡± She pouts.


    ¡°You drank before we got here.¡±


    ¡°I know, but I¡¯m sober now. That hot dog helped.¡± She smiles sideways at the guy she¡¯s talking to and I¡¯m pretty sure he¡¯s one of Seth¡¯s friends from the steakhouse¡ªthe one wearing the red cap. He¡¯s handsome and tall. He has piercing green eyes and nice olive skin. Tattoos cover the exposed flesh around his neck and down his forearms.


    ¡°Suit yourself, but I¡¯m not picking you up at some ungodly hour.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll make sure she gets home safely.¡± Seth promises from behind me.


    I turn to him. ¡°Thank you.¡± I call over the ruckus. ¡°I¡¯ll see you at dinner, Dad.¡±


    He gives me a thumbs up and I turn from the room. In the hallway fighters and their teams are laughing and partying, others sit in their rooms, licking their wounds. There are so many loose girls scattered all over the place and I¡¯m sure the promo girls that just passed me are heading to Seth¡¯s room. I don¡¯t have time to look over my shoulder as I¡¯m startled by a large body that slides in front of me, blocking my way.


    ¡°Excuse me.¡± I look up his hard body and onto his face. I recognize him as Don Russell and I can¡¯t help but frown.


    ¡°That¡¯s a nice shirt, but I¡¯d look so much better on you.¡±


    I will never wear a shirt with a name on it again. He hands me another shirt. ¡°Here.¡±


    Without looking I know it has ¡®Don¡¯ written on it and there¡¯s no way I¡¯m taking it. ¡°No, thank you. One is enough.¡±


    His lips contort into a strange smirk and I try to step past him, but he blocks me. ¡°You don¡¯t look like the kind of girl that Seth Marc usually goes for.¡±


    ¡°And you don¡¯t look like someone who has any right sticking their nose into other people¡¯s business.¡±


    He tugs on my shirt, pulling me closer to him. What the hell is up with fighters and pulling people closer to them? Do they all attend some class on invading personal space before they learn any kind of martial arts? After the events with Brent, the thought of a stranger touching me puts me on high alert.


    ¡°Take your hands off me.¡± My voice comes out in a growl, although I never intended it to.


    ¡°Feisty... I like feisty.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡±


    He lets my shirt go and I take a step backward.


    ¡°Are you his?¡±


    ¡°His?¡±


    He nods, his eyes are like two big emerald orbs, blaring down his nose at me. Not I¡¯m not... am I?


    ¡°No.¡± Seth¡¯s voice answers the question for me. ¡°She¡¯s here with a friend. Let her go home, Don.¡±


    ¡°Well, if she¡¯s not yours...¡± Don steps closer to me and I manage to dodge past him.


    I glance back at Seth whose hard stare is focused on Don¡¯s face. I push through the throng of people as fast as I can. Once I get through the double doors and past the four security guards, I can breathe a little better, but I can¡¯t shake how strangely hurt I am by what Seth said. I know I¡¯m not his, but he does these things that make me think that maybe he¡¯s changing his mind. I sigh, maybe he¡¯s just playing his little games with me and I¡¯m just delusional. It¡¯s plausible.


    As quickly as I can, I leave the exhibition center and find my car. Getting out is a freaking mission. There are too many cars and the roads are congested. I want to go home and straight to sleep before my brain can torture me with anymore thoughts, but as I drive I can only think of him... and it sucks.


    Chapter Ten


    It¡¯s one a.m. and I¡¯m still awake¡ªstill wired from the fight. If I¡¯m telling the truth, that¡¯s not the only reason I¡¯m lying awake. Seth Marc and his flirty, over-confident and heart-breaking attitude is also a factor.


    I throw the blankets off and lean over the edge of my bed. In the dark, my hands rub the carpet as I search for my laptop. I always type in bed, so my laptop lives underneath it. When I locate it, I pull it up and turn it on. I can¡¯t help but to smile when I see my wallpaper. It¡¯s a picture of Blade and I at the zoo. We¡¯re standing side by side and we¡¯re happy. I mean, we don¡¯t look happy because the massive snake we¡¯re holding is trying to wrap itself around our necks, but we were. My chest constricts. We haven¡¯t been broken up for long, but the time we spent together feels like a lifetime ago. My eyes water at the realization that it¡¯s over. I don¡¯t know why I didn¡¯t react earlier. I just felt like it wasn¡¯t real and that we¡¯d be back together by now... but even I¡¯m not that stupid. I open a Word document titled: ¡®Complicated¡¯. It¡¯s a romance short story that I started at the beginning of the year. I¡¯m meant to end it, but I can¡¯t find the words to describe the main character¡¯s happy ending. How do you write about something you don¡¯t really know? I¡¯ve read a lot of romance books and watched a lot of romance movies, but I could never produce anything like that. I feel like whatever I write people are going to see through¡ªassuming I ever show it to anyone.


    My heart leaps into my throat as a firm knock sounds upon my door. I wait cautiously in the light provided only by my laptop. There¡¯s another knock and this time it drags me from my bed. I tip-toe into the lounge room and peer through the sheer curtains to get a better look outside. The sensor light flicks on and I see Selena hunched over at the bottom of the steps. I can barely make out the sound of her humming. I rush to the door and pull it open, only to stare into a pair of brown eyes. Immediately, my heartbeat kicks up a notch. He looks so good in a white button shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and loose denim jeans. He doesn¡¯t appear to be under the influence¡ªhis skin is clean and not clammy and his eyes are round and alert.

 Page 17

    ¡°I brought Selena home.¡± He says. ¡°She¡¯s had a lot to drink.¡±


    I peer around him and Selena makes her drunken way up the stairs. Her high heels are in her hand and her handbag hangs off her elbow. Her curls are everywhere and her make-up is smudged over her lips and around her eyes.Advertisement


    ¡°She always has a lot to drink.¡± I reply, waiting for Selena to make it to the top. When she does, I take her by the hand and pull her into the house. Her voice is rough and husky. She¡¯s mumbling something, but I can¡¯t understand it.


    The pungent smell of cigarette and alcohol fills my nose and I scrunch my nose up. I take her shoes and her handbag and help her lie down on the couch. Seth kicks off his white sneakers and makes his way through my lounge room. Then, he turns down the short hallway towards my room.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I call out to him in a hushed tone. ¡°Where are you going? Seth!¡±


    Quickly, I pull the blue, fluffy throw rug off the back of the couch and cover the already sleeping Selena. I march into my room and Seth is lying on my bed looking at the wallpaper on my computer.


    ¡°Make yourself at home.¡± I say, closing the lid and sliding it underneath my bed. In the darkness I search for the switch to my lamp. When I find it, I flick it on and turn back to him.


    He rolls onto his back and puts his hands behind his head, exposing the bottom of his ¡®V¡¯ shape. I stand before him with my hands on my hips and the look he has in his eyes both exhilarates and terrifies me.


    ¡°That¡¯s a cute nighty.¡±


    I glance down at my light green and pink babydoll. Thankfully, I wore one that isn¡¯t see-through and it covers my bum. ¡°Thanks. How¡¯d you get here?¡±


    ¡°We caught a taxi.¡±


    ¡°Are you drunk?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t touch a drop. I let your dad take my car home. He didn¡¯t drink either, but we made him leave his car at the exhibition center.¡±


    Seth sits up and shuffles toward me until he¡¯s sitting at the base of my bed, directly in front of me and only inches away.


    ¡°Did you and Selena...?¡±


    He looks up at me from under his long, dark eyelashes. ¡°What, have sex?¡±


    He knows that¡¯s what I mean, but he wants me to say it. It doesn¡¯t matter if they did, right? Because Seth and I aren¡¯t anything... I¡¯m not even sure if we¡¯re friends.


    ¡°No, we didn¡¯t.¡±


    Relief fills my chest and I can¡¯t help the smile that tugs at the corners of my lips.


    ¡°She¡¯s your friend and a little too... much, for me. Besides, she was with Jackson all night.¡±


    I assume Jackson is the friend she was talking to when I left tonight.


    ¡°But I did look after her for you.¡± His fingertips brush over my knee cap and then up my thigh. Beneath his touch, my muscles tremble with need. ¡°Jackson wanted to take her home, but I didn¡¯t let him. She was too drunk so I brought her here.¡±


    His head rests against my stomach and I run my fingers through his hair.


    ¡°Everyone went home with their whores and all I could think about was you.¡±


    ¡°Gee, thanks.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t mean it like that and you know it.¡±


    The rough pads of his finger tips rub my naked legs and I tilt my head back to enjoy it. It¡¯s hard to believe these hands brutally dominated another man earlier tonight. The same hands that strike hard and fast against flesh are now gently caressing my skin. I gasp as he yanks me onto him so my legs fall to each side of his thighs. His length presses hard against his jeans and into my core. My breath quickens, but I try my hardest to conceal it. His lust filled eyes bore into mine and I¡¯m completely undone. If he touches me, he¡¯ll find me soaked and ready, but I don¡¯t want him to touch me there... because he¡¯s right. I can¡¯t separate my emotions from sex and I¡¯ve developed feelings for him. Strange, confusing feelings. A dry lump forms in my throat and I swallow hard as his forehead rests against mine. His lips are agape slightly and his warm breath caresses my face as his hands rub my thighs. A shiver runs down my spine and Seth smiles that confident smile that I like so much.


    ¡°What are we doing, Seth?¡± I utter.


    ¡°I can think of a lot of answers to that question.¡±


    I slide off him and sit on the bed. ¡°You know what I mean.¡±


    I don¡¯t know what I want him to say. I don¡¯t expect some huge romantic gesture or for him to declare his feelings for me. I just want honesty. I want respect.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Olivia.¡± He states, falling backwards against the mattress. I follow his lead and lie next to him. His large hands brush over his face and he exhales. Perhaps, it¡¯s too late in the night for this conversation now, or maybe it was too early in our ¡®relationship¡¯. I have work in the morning and I can¡¯t afford to lose much more sleep. I tug on his arm and lift myself off the bed to shut off the lamp. We crawl to the top of the bed and I climb under the sheets. Seth unbuttons his shirt and slides it off. I hate that the room is dark and I can¡¯t admire him. I hear his denim jeans crumple to the floor and my insides squeal like a horny teenager. In my head, I remind myself over and over that I won¡¯t be having sex with Seth tonight. I¡¯ve already let him under my skin... I can¡¯t give him the rest of me because I¡¯m scared of what he¡¯ll do when he has it. His thick, warm arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to him. My back presses firmly against the front of his body and I¡¯m having trouble keeping my head clear. It feels so good. I imagine him softly stroking my sensitive parts from behind as he breathes in my ear.


    ¡°Olivia?¡± His voice startles me back to reality.


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°Thank you for helping me tonight with the whole anxiety thing...¡± I can hear his vulnerability in his voice and I want to turn around and hold him¡­ but I don¡¯t.


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome. Does it get worse?¡±


    The pillow moves as he nods. ¡°Much worse. What I experience before fights is nothing.¡± His thumb brushes over my wrist, sending tingles through my hand like I¡¯ve banged my nerve on a hard surface. ¡°Sometimes it gets really bad and I can¡¯t breathe, at all.¡±


    ¡°And you don¡¯t take medication for it?¡±


    He shakes his head.


    ¡°Have you tried other things¡ªother than medication like talking to someone? Whether it be a friend or a professional.¡±


    ¡°No thanks.¡±


    ¡°Seth¡ª¡±


    ¡°You should be happy that I¡¯m here talking to you about it. Usually, I punch and fuck the anxiety from my system. You are the only person who I¡¯ve opened up to, even if it is just a crack. We don¡¯t owe each other anything, so why not appreciate it instead of pushing for more. What do you expect from me?¡±


    His words hit me like a ton of bricks and I feel like crying. I find myself asking the same questions over and over. Why is he here? Why isn¡¯t he out there banging girls and punching things? I pull away from his grasp and sit up. ¡°I don¡¯t expect anything from you, Seth. You¡¯re not mine and you¡¯ve already made it clear that I¡¯m not yours even though this is the second time you¡¯ve slept in my bed. You¡¯re always on me¡ªalways doing nice things, but then you destroy it with harsh words. I don¡¯t want this. I don¡¯t want to wait around trying to decipher what game you¡¯re playing with me.¡±


    Seth grabs at me and I try to slip away, but he leans forward, grabbing my thigh and my arm and pulling me back into him. My chest is flush against his and the scent that emanates from him is intoxicating. He wraps a leg around both of mine, pinning me to his hard body. His lips graze against mine and my breathing slows. ¡°I need you, Olivia.¡± His hands brush through my hair and then over my shoulder. My skin tingles and I press myself harder against him. ¡°I can¡¯t stand to be away from you. I do nice things and say dumb shit because I¡¯m scared. I thought I was going to hurt you, but tonight when you left and the promo girls that usually keep me company after a fight came into my room, I realized I could never hurt you, not like that.¡± His lips kiss mine softly. ¡°I want you to be mine, but I¡¯m not ready. I¡¯m still getting used to the idea of spending the night with a girl without sex.¡±


    I laugh, in spite of the sudden wet tears on my cheek. ¡°You are a very confusing man.¡±


    ¡°Oh, it gets worse.¡±


    I kiss him¡ªdesperately and he¡¯s shocked, I can feel the lack of response in his lips, but it doesn¡¯t take long for his strong arms crush me to him and his tongue runs across my bottom lip. I open my mouth and his full lips consume me. He rolls his large frame in my direction and holds himself above me. His thigh presses against the warmth between my legs and I gasp. He¡¯s so calm and collected, whereas I¡¯m panting and squirming. I¡¯m so wound up, so horny and I just want a release.


    ¡°I can¡¯t have sex with you.¡± He mutters against my mouth.


    I run my hands down his sides and into his cotton boxers. I keep my cool and try not to make a big deal of the size of his penis. No wonder girls beg him for more. I¡¯ve only touched one other penis in my life and that was Blade¡¯s. His doesn¡¯t compare to the monster that I hold in my hand right now. I slide my hand up his shaft and his muscles tremble as I graze my fingertip over the tip of his thick erection. Above me, he shudders and it¡¯s so sexy. Having any kind of power over this beast of a man is all the foreplay I need. ¡°You want to though.¡± I tease.


    He moves backwards, and my hand falls from his pants. ¡°You have no fucking idea.¡± He growls.


    Seth presses his full weight onto me and claims my mouth with his tongue. When he pulls away, I¡¯m breathless and ready for anything.


    ¡°You¡¯re a good girl and I want you to be sure that this is what you want because I¡¯m not guaranteeing anything. Not until I¡¯m ready.¡± His voice is sinfully dark in my ear and when his hot breath comes into contact with my skin, electric currents ripple through me.


    I run my tongue along his smooth, clean neck and nibble his ear lobe. ¡°This is what I want...but maybe not right now.¡±


    What the hell am I even saying? I want it now! I want it bad, but I¡¯m not ready to lose his companionship. What if we do this and he decides not to hang around anymore? I¡¯ve seen the way he treats girls... I don¡¯t want to be one of them. He says he wants to make me his and I want nothing more than to believe him, but I can¡¯t put my trust in him. Not yet.


    Seth rolls off me, pulling me into his side. I like it here. I like being tucked under his arm and comforted by his warmth, but it won¡¯t be like this forever.


    ¡°Good night, Olivia.¡± He mumbles, squeezing my shoulder.


    ¡°Good night.¡±


    I curl tighter into his side. I hope in the next few weeks I can decide what the hell I¡¯m going to do about him. It¡¯s just a bit off fun. Is it though? I ask myself. I can¡¯t help but to feel like it has gone way past the point of fun. Fun would have been sleeping together the night he brought me home from the club. Spending nights sex free together seems more serious than fun. I expel a quiet exhale from my lips and ask myself the same question I always ask myself in Seth¡¯s presence. What am I doing?


    My eyes flutter open and take a while to adjust to the bright sunlight that seeps through the gap in my curtain. I close my eyes and roll over. I extend my arm to the other side of the bed, but my skin only meets the cool mattress. I sit up and rub sleep from my heavy eyes. On the pillow is a letter with my name on it in pink highlighter. Seth¡¯s handwriting is horrible and he spelt my name wrong the first time and scribbled it out. He got it on his second go, though. On the bedside table is an open empty notebook with a page ripped out.


    I open it and can¡¯t help the goofy smile that spreads over my face. The entire letter is written in pink highlighter. Poor guy, I guess he couldn¡¯t find a pen.


    O,


    Gone to training.


    Text you later.


    Seth :)


    My heart flutters at the nickname ¡®O¡¯. I¡¯m so glad he picked that one over ¡®Olly¡¯. I slide out of the bed and put the note in my bedside drawer. I glance at my clock. It¡¯s only seven a.m. I still have an hour and a half before I need to be at work. I hate working on Saturday¡¯s. Thank God today is my last working day until Tuesday. I pull my silk dressing gown off the hook behind my door and slide into it. In the lounge room, Selena is still asleep on the couch. Her face is screwed up in a sour pout and I laugh as I make my way into the kitchen. One of her eyes open and it¡¯s bloodshot and puffy.


    ¡°Where am I?¡± She moans, trying to sit up. About halfway, she gives up and lies back down.


    ¡°You¡¯re at my house. Seth brought you back last night.¡±


    Selena slings an arm over her eyes, shielding out the morning light. Man, I did not envy her right now. ¡°I don¡¯t remember anything after we got to Heaven¡¯s and Jackson ordered a round of shots for everyone.¡±


    ¡°You party too hard.¡± I tell her, putting the kettle on. I pull a jar of instant coffee from my cupboard. I always keep some here. Whenever Selena goes on a serious one-night bender she demands coffee the next morning. If she doesn¡¯t have it, she doesn¡¯t function and when she doesn¡¯t function, it¡¯s the end of the world. Everything is a nuisance to her.


    ¡°Coffee?¡± I offer as the kettle bubbles to a boil.


    ¡°Good God, yes.¡±


    She rolls off the couch and drags her sorry self into the kitchen. She pulls the milk from the fridge and hands it to me. Her hands shake as she makes her way to the bowl on the kitchen bench. It¡¯s where I keep all of my medical stuff like band-aids, Betadine and Advil. Selena pops two pain-killers from their foil and throws them into her mouth. She hunches over the sink and gluttonously gobbles water directly from the faucet. When she straightens herself and turns to me, I can¡¯t help the burst of laughter that comes from my mouth as I stir the milk into her coffee. She looks like shit. Her make-up is splotchy and runny and her eyes are heavy. Her usual tame, blonde curls are wrapped up in a big knotty mess and there¡¯s a large hickey on her neck.

 Page 18

    ¡°So... Jackson, huh?¡± I hint, handing her coffee.Advertisement


    I turn around and pull a breakfast bar from the cupboard and unwrap it. She greedily drinks back the coffee.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t make this hot enough.¡± She complains.


    ¡°Deal.¡± I shrug at her. I don¡¯t make coffees often. ¡°And don¡¯t change the subject.¡±


    ¡°Jackson is a sweetheart.¡± She states, avoiding eye contact.


    I overtly narrow my gaze to the purple love bite on her neck and stare at it until she comments.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say he was a saint.¡± She chuckles. ¡°He¡¯s different to the other guys I go for. We¡¯re going out to dinner sometime soon to get to know each other better before we... you know.¡±


    I almost choke on my granola breakfast bar. ¡°Jesus, Selena is taking the time out to get to know a guy before sleeping with him. I never thought I¡¯d see the day.¡±


    ¡°Shut up. We don¡¯t all live on a narrow path, you know. Some of us like to explore the surroundings.¡±


    I smile at her. Pulling her strings while she has a hangover is a favorite hobby of mine.


    ¡°I have work soon, so I¡¯m going to shower and get ready. Do you need me to drop you home?¡± I ask.


    ¡°No, I¡¯ll probably chill here until you get back.¡±


    ¡°Okay, but don¡¯t go through my closet again. I don¡¯t need new clothes. I like the ones I have.¡±


    I stroll from the kitchen and hit the shower. I spend extra time in there just thinking... about Seth mostly. I want you to be mine and I plan on making you mine, but right now I¡¯m not ready. So he has feelings for me, too? I¡¯d say so. A giddy feeling rises in my chest and I can¡¯t stop smiling. I can see Selena¡¯s blurry head poke through the bathroom door. Somehow, the cool air made its way into the shower, sending a cold shiver down my spine. ¡°Olivia?¡±


    ¡°Come in and close the door.¡±


    She comes in, closes the door and slides down the wall. Her toes press against the glass of the shower. ¡°Have you and Seth had sex yet?¡±


    I frown and strain my ears to hear her over the pouring water. ¡°No.¡± I answer curiously. ¡°Why¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°Look, I know you recently broke up with Blade and you¡¯re having fun and all that, but I think Seth is the last person you should be spending time with.¡±


    I¡¯m taken back by her words. ¡°What makes you say that?¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m remembering snippets of last night...¡±


    He words send tendrils of dread through my chest. ¡°Yeah?¡±


    ¡°This girl came up to him. She claimed they slept together a few weeks ago¡ªwhich he didn¡¯t deny¡ªand she was really trying to get back in, but he turned her down cold.¡±


    I soap up my pink exfoliation sponge and begin cleaning my breasts and armpits, listening to every word she says.


    ¡°It was brutal, O. The girl left the club crying.¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡± Little did she know, I¡¯ve witnessed two girls come for Seth at the gym. I¡¯d left too early to see what happened with the brunette, but the blonde left the gym crying. Seth said he doesn¡¯t want to hurt me like that and I believe him. I don¡¯t trust him, but I believe him. ¡°You don¡¯t need to worry, Sel. I know what kind of person Seth is and we have a mutual understanding.¡±


    ¡°I just don¡¯t want to see him toss you aside like rubbish if you do decide you want to sleep with him, that¡¯s all.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, Selena, but I think I have it covered.¡±


    She climbs lazily to her feet and exits the bathroom. I finish rubbing the rough sponge over my body, unable to shake her words from my mind. It shouldn¡¯t bother me because I already know what Seth is like, but what if she¡¯s right. What if he doesn¡¯t want me after we have sex? It doesn¡¯t matter, I hold all the power. I refuse to have sex with him until I¡¯m sure it¡¯s exactly what I want¡ªif he is exactly what I want.


    My car makes a strange clunking noise when I turn the key. It¡¯s like the engine wants to turn over, but can¡¯t.


    ¡°Great!¡± I shout, banging my head against the hard steering wheel. ¡°How the hell am I supposed to get to work now?¡±


    A white sedan pulls up in front of my house and I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s a gift from God or the Devil himself as Blade steps out of the car and adjusts the collar on his green polo shirt. He spots me in my car and smiles, flashing me those boyish dimples. I can¡¯t help but smile back as I exit my car.


    ¡°You look good.¡±


    I look down at my deep violet dress. It¡¯s one of my favorites.


    ¡°Are you about to go to work?¡±


    I slam my car door and lean against it. ¡°I was, but my car won¡¯t turn on.¡±


    His sneakers scuff the concrete as he walks closer to me. ¡°I can take you, if you want.¡±


    I chew my bottom lip. I don¡¯t know if riding with Blade is a good idea, but¡ªI glance around me¡ªI don¡¯t think I have a choice right now. I¡¯ve done too much shit to Mason in the last two weeks and I can¡¯t afford to not show up on time. ¡°Um...¡± I ponder the idea of driving with Blade. ¡°You¡¯ll take me straight to work, right?¡±


    ¡°I promise.¡±


    I slide my phone into the pocket of my dress and step toward him. ¡°Fine, but we have to leave now if I¡¯m going to get there on time.¡±


    It¡¯s like routine. Blade and I get into his car and I even put the handbrake down for him, like I always did. He notices too and smiles at me. It¡¯s such a sweet smile and my heart tightens in my chest. I had no idea how much I missed Blade. His familiar scent fills my nostrils and I inhale. This is a stupid idea. He¡¯s still Blade. I tell myself. He hurt you.


    ¡°Your mom tells me you went to a fight last night.¡± He says, making small talk. I hate that him and my mom are talking. ¡°That¡¯s a pretty big thing for you. Seth must be a good guy.¡±


    ¡°He is.¡± I reply automatically.


    I watch my fingers as I rub them together nervously. Then, Blade¡¯s hand covers mine. ¡°I miss you, Olly.¡±


    ¡°Blade...¡±


    ¡°Just hear me out. We were together for six years, Olly, six years. That¡¯s a long time.¡±


    I pull my hands out from under his, but he leaves his in my lap. ¡°And you it threw out the window for sex¡ªlots of sex. What you did isn¡¯t something that can be forgotten or forgiven.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I fucked up.¡±


    ¡°You said that after the first time... and the second and the¡ª¡±


    ¡°Okay so I¡¯ve messed up a bunch of times, but believe me when I say that I¡¯ve changed and it won¡¯t happen again.¡±


    How many times have I heard that? Countless. ¡°I can¡¯t¡ªI don¡¯t believe you.¡±


    He takes his hand back and runs it through his blond hair. ¡°How can I prove it to you? How can I make it up to you?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no going back, Blade. I gave everything to you and you chose to take it for granted.¡±


    ¡°So that¡¯s it?¡± Six years¡ªgone, just like that?¡±


    My chest constricts, pushing a massive lump into my throat. ¡°Yes.¡± I cringe at the finality in my voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to stop, Olly. I need you.¡±


    I close my eyes briefly, trying to slow my rapid beating heart. ¡°I meant it when I said I don¡¯t love you anymore.¡± I say when I open my eyes.


    ¡°And I call bullshit. I know you¡¯re just trying to scare me straight and it¡¯s working, but I love you... I won¡¯t ever stop loving you.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, I¡¯m with Seth now.¡± I reply, playing the Seth card again. ¡°He¡¯s yet to do anything to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Olivia,¡± I jerk my gaze toward him. His grave tone makes me nauseous. ¡°I ran into him and Selena at Heaven¡¯s last night. He had his tongue so far down this brunette girl¡¯s throat I¡¯m surprised she didn¡¯t gag, and you know how talkative Selena is when she¡¯s drunk. She told me how much she hates me and that you¡¯re not really with Seth.¡±


    He rattles off all of the shit Selena told him¡ªthe roofie, the car park with Brent, Seth and that he hired my dad. I stare at the center console listening to his every word. I¡¯m not shocked that Selena told him, that¡¯s expected. She tends to run her mouth... a lot. I¡¯m a little shocked that Seth would kiss the brunette girl. I frown, unsure if I should believe Blade or not. He isn¡¯t exactly known for his honesty. Selena told me the brunette showed up, but she never mentioned anything about a kiss. She would¡¯ve told me if she saw it... I know she would have. My only option is to confront Seth, but even then, do I have the right to? He stated clearly last night that he isn¡¯t ready for a relationship and that¡¯s fine because I¡¯m not sure if I am, either. He said he wouldn¡¯t hurt me... and I believe him. I think. In front of Blade I try to play it off as no big deal. I don¡¯t want him to see that he¡¯s upset me.


    ¡°You caught me. So I¡¯m not dating Seth. I made it up to get you off my back until I clear my head and since Seth and I aren¡¯t really together, he can stick his tongue in whoever he wants.¡±


    Ahead, I see the sign for my work and I unclip my seat belt.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to upset you. I just wanted you to know that he¡¯s just like me... and you deserve better.¡±


    My frustration peaks. His only mission this morning was to ¡®break¡¯ my heart. ¡°Go spin your bullshit somewhere else, Blade. I¡¯m not dumb. I bet you couldn¡¯t wait to bring me the news that Seth made out with another girl last night. You¡¯re up early, when are you ever up early?¡± In the last six years, Blade has never got out of bed before nine. It hurts to know that the only motivation he had to get out of bed early was to hurt my feelings.


    I climb out of the car as he calls my name. I slam the door and my short heels clack rapidly against the concrete. When my hand comes into contact with the cool metal door of the office, he drives off. Inside, there are no patients (expected for a Saturday) and Mason¡¯s head peers around his office door. His big, wide smile fades when he sees my expression. I guess I don¡¯t look happy.


    ¡°Rough morning?¡±


    I don¡¯t make eye contact with him as I power up my computer. ¡°Something like that.¡± I reply.


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to talk about it?¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m here if you do.¡±


    He disappears back into his office and I place my head in my hands before raking my fingers through my long, soft hair. What the hell am I going to do? I don¡¯t feel comfortable bringing this up with Seth. I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll down to Seth¡¯s name. My thumb hovers above the ¡®call¡¯ button, but I can¡¯t bring myself to press it. This entire situation could have been averted if Seth slept with me when I wanted and then left me alone. Instead, we burrowed our way under each other¡¯s skin... and feelings have been developed. Those same feelings are currently hurt because Seth kissed someone else. I shake my head. I don¡¯t know that for a fact. Blade plays dirty and he¡¯s jealous. If I make assumptions and Blade lied, I¡¯ll look like an idiot. My phone vibrates in my hands and Seth¡¯s name comes up on my screen.


    FROM: SETH. TIME: 8:37 A.M.


    Lunch?


    TO: SETH. TIME: 8:38 A.M.


    Can¡¯t. Car won¡¯t start


    And I¡¯m at work.


    FROM: SETH TIME: 8:38 A.M.


    When is your break?


    I¡¯m coming to get you.


    We¡¯re going to lunch.


    I feel like such a sucker when a smile pulls at my lips.


    TO: SETH TIME: 8:39 A.M.


    Break is at 11.


    See you then.


    Before I return my phone to my pocket it vibrates again.


    FROM: SETH TIME: 8:39 A.M


    Can¡¯t wait. :)


    Can¡¯t wait... He can¡¯t wait to see me. I feel all giddy and excited which in turn makes me feel stupid. Seth affects me. In seconds, he can make me angry when I¡¯m happy and happy when I¡¯m angry. I put my phone back into my pocket and drag a breath through my nose. I¡¯ll ask Seth straight up about last night and act like it¡¯s no big deal.


    Waiting for eleven o¡¯clock to roll around was torture, but when it finally came I wish I had more time to think about how I¡¯m going to approach the subject.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be back in an hour, Mason.¡± I call from my desk.


    I rise from my chair as Mason strolls from his office wearing a nice, tan suit with a nice yellow tie that rests against his white shirt. His outfit blends nicely with his golden hair and light eyes. In his hand, he fidgets with the office keys.


    ¡°You going to lunch?¡± He asks, leaning on my desk. His long index finger strokes the corner of a loose sheet of paper.


    ¡°Yep.¡±


    ¡°Great, I¡¯ll come with you.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± I say, rising to my feet. ¡°I¡¯m actually meeting someone.¡± The words are awkward on my tongue.


    ¡°Selena? I¡¯m sure she wouldn¡¯t mind if I joined you two.¡±


    ¡°No, not Selena.¡± I straighten the bottom of my dress. ¡°I¡¯m having lunch with¡ª¡±


    I¡¯m cut off as the door opens and Seth steps in looking as gorgeous as ever in a black tee that clings to his chest and arms like a second skin. His dark hair is damp and unruly, like he¡¯s just run his fingers through it.


    ¡°Seth.¡± Mason states, finishing my sentence for me.


    Seth¡¯s jaw tightens. ¡°Mason.¡±


    My gaze shifts from Mason to Seth, from Seth to Mason. This is not happening right now. They do not know each other.


    ¡°It¡¯s been a long time.¡± Mason clears his throat.

 Page 19

    The air is so tense in here you could cut it with a knife. Seth nods stiffly before turning his dark stare to me. ¡°Are you ready?¡±Advertisement


    I step toward Seth, but Mason¡¯s voice stops me from making it all the way to him.


    ¡°Seth Marc,¡± He spits Seth¡¯s name like it¡¯s venom on his tongue and it startles me. ¡°This is the guy you¡¯re seeing?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s none of your business.¡± Seth cuts in for me. All of his features are drawn into tight lines and I see him working his jaw.


    ¡°Seth, don¡¯t.¡± I mutter, stepping closer to him.


    I let my fingertips soothingly graze his wrist. Mason ignores Seth¡¯s aggressiveness and his blue eyes square in on me.


    ¡°Seth is the reason I moved to Portland.¡± He tells me.


    My brows knit together as I recall Mason telling me he moved to Portland after the divorce with his wife of twelve years.


    ¡°C¡¯mon, Olivia.¡± Seth demands as he takes me by the wrist and turns toward the door.


    ¡°Olivia,¡± Mason calls after me. I¡¯ve never heard his voice take such a dangerous edge before. It¡¯s chilling, deep and it stops me in my tracks. Seth drops my wrist and snaps back to Mason.


    ¡°What the fuck is your problem?¡±


    Mason stands an inch or two taller than Seth, but I¡¯ve seen Seth in action. Mason wouldn¡¯t stand a chance. ¡°I¡¯m looking out for her.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    Mason¡¯s blue eyes flick onto my terrified face and Seth follows his sight. Seth smiles that over-confident smile before turning back to Mason and I swallow hard.


    ¡°You want her?¡± Seth assumes and when Mason¡¯s hard gaze falters at his assumption, Seth¡¯s smile widens into a wolfish grin and his large frame slips behind me.


    The hard front of his body presses against my back. Seth¡¯s hands slide down my waist to my hips and he grips them tightly, pulling me harder against him. My gaze skims over my desk, across the plain white wall and then onto a small silver clock above Mason¡¯s door. I look everywhere but directly at Mason¡¯s blue eyes.


    ¡°I don¡¯t blame you.¡± Seth begins as his hands slide up to my waist.


    My body jumps to attention as heat begins to pool between my legs. I cringe. Now is not the time to get aroused by his touch. Seth chuckles darkly against my ear when he notices my breathing become shallow. ¡°She sure is something.¡±


    ¡°Seth.¡± I snap in an urgent whisper, but he ignores me and ducks his face into my hair as his hands slide north until his thumb glides over the base of my breast. He inhales and moans, sending hot ripples of desire through me as well as tipping my anger meter to boiling point.


    ¡°Trust me when I say she tastes as good as she smells.¡±


    Mason storms forward and Seth yanks at me, tucking me safely behind his back.


    ¡°What are you gonna¡¯ do, Mas? Fight me?¡± I can hear the sardonic chuckle in Seth¡¯s voice. ¡°Do it. I dare you.¡±


    Seth and Mason are face to face and neither looks like they are going to back down any time soon. My heart thuds uncomfortably in my chest as a smirk tugs at the corner of Mason¡¯s lips and he says, ¡°You know, one of the perks of being a psychologist is learning how to get inside people¡¯s heads and figuring out what makes them tick.¡±


    I feel Seth turn to stone.


    ¡°You wanna¡¯ know what made your father tick? What his biggest disappointment was?¡±


    My heart stops cold. Was Mason Seth¡¯s dad¡¯s psychologist in Seattle? It sure seems like it. Talking about Seth¡¯s dad is a big no-no for Seth. He¡¯s hardly spoken about him to me and he trusts me. I can only imagine what it¡¯s doing to him to hear Mason mention it.


    ¡°Seth, let¡¯s go.¡± I say, tugging on his shirt. He takes a step back. Now all I need is three or four more of those and we¡¯re out the door. I continue to tug on him and as I reach for the door. Mason says it¡ªthe words I¡¯ve been praying for him to keep to himself.


    ¡°You. His biggest disappointment was you.¡±


    Chapter Eleven


    Surprisingly, Seth didn¡¯t launch himself at Mason and somehow I made it in between the two men, pressing my hands firmly against Seth¡¯s chest. Under my hands, his muscles were coiled, waiting to spring themselves at Mason... but thankfully, they never do.


    ¡°You¡¯re not worth throwing away the competition.¡± Seth snarls. ¡°But if you do speak to your ex-wife again, tell her I said hi.¡±


    He turns and storms from the office and I shift my attention to Mason. ¡°His dad? Really? That¡¯s low, Mason.¡±


    ¡°No, dating someone like Seth is low.¡± Mason marches to his office and slams the door. I waste no time in chasing after Seth. He¡¯s outside pacing the sidewalk with his hands in his hair. His face is flushed, almost like it¡¯s too hot to touch. A few people strolling by dodged around him warily, like he¡¯s going to break at any moment.


    ¡°Seth?¡± My voice comes out quieter than I intend. ¡°We can have lunch at my house...away from people.¡±


    He throws me his car keys and I follow him to his car without another word. In the car Seth keeps his eyes out the window.


    ¡°Seth,¡± I say, breaking the silence.


    He doesn¡¯t acknowledge me.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t like that. Don¡¯t use me against people ever again.¡±


    Still no response and I don¡¯t mind as long as he knows I¡¯m not okay with what just happened. I peek sideways at Seth. His chest rises and falls quicker than normal and his fists remain clenched. What Mason said has really done a number on him and I¡¯m not sure if I can help this time.


    When we get to my house, there¡¯s a note on the door from Selena saying her dad called her into work and she borrowed some clothes. I reach under the busted potted plant and retrieve the back up key. It¡¯s marked with dirt because I haven¡¯t used it in a long time. I open the door and put the dirty key in my pocket. As I make my way into the kitchen to make sandwiches Seth sits on the couch, leaning his head backwards. His eyes are closed, giving him a vulnerable edge. I kick my shoes off in the middle of the kitchen and make my way over to him. As I linger above him, he snags his bottom lip between his teeth in thought. He¡¯s still mad... and I¡¯m scared that he¡¯ll get in his car and go back there.


    ¡°What he said... don¡¯t pay any attention to it.¡± I tell him.


    ¡°He¡¯s right.¡± Seth replies without opening his eyes. ¡°My father was disappointed in me.¡± His eyes open and my heart tightens at their sad gleam. ¡°I couldn¡¯t do anything right... so I made it my mission to do everything wrong. I¡¯m not a good person, O.¡±


    I grab his face between my palms, forcing him to look at me. ¡°I think you¡¯re a good person.¡±


    ¡°One girl out of the millions of people I¡¯ve met thinks I¡¯m good.¡± He shakes his head. ¡°Those odds aren¡¯t comforting.¡±


    ¡°But at least it¡¯s something.¡±


    He pulls his face from my hands. ¡°Don¡¯t get the wrong idea about me. Don¡¯t let me charm you into thinking I¡¯m good because I¡¯m not.¡±


    I refuse to budge. ¡°You are.¡±


    He makes a frustrated noise at the base of his throat and sits forward. ¡°I slept with Mason¡¯s wife when I lived in Seattle, years ago. That¡¯s why they got divorced. I went with my dad to one of his sessions and I walked into Mason¡¯s office to see if he was there, but his wife was instead. She provoked me, teased me until I gave in. I fucked his wife on his desk and my dad and Mason walked in.¡± He shakes his head, disgusted with himself. ¡°I¡¯m not a good person, Olivia. I destroyed a marriage¡ªhundreds of marriages, probably.¡±


    His story leaves a bitter taste in the back of my throat. I picture everything and in my head I¡¯m jealous that even someone who was meant to be married has had Seth. He doesn¡¯t look at me as he slumps back into the couch. He takes my hands, puts them back on his warm face and closes his eyes.


    ¡°I need you to distract me. Tell me something¡ªanything and then I¡¯ll get out of your hair.¡±


    Without giving it much thought, I slide over his legs, straddling his thick muscles between my thighs. His eyes shoot open and I caress his smooth face with my thumbs. All of his lines of worry disappear and as I lean forward, pressing my lips to his, I feel his body tighten and he pulls back. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Distracting you.¡± My hands slide up his face and into his hair. I tug on it, pulling his lips back to mine. He¡¯s trying to fight me, I can feel it. He won¡¯t open his mouth so I take his bottom lip between my teeth and I bite down on it. He gasps and his mouth opens. I stick my tongue in and run my fingers through his hair as I rock my hips slightly. Almost immediately I feel him bursting at the seam of his jeans beneath me.


    ¡°Olivia,¡± He growls in a low tone as he attempts to lean away from me, but I don¡¯t let him.


    ¡°Please.¡± I whisper in his ear.


    He shifts me so I¡¯m looking directly into his eyes. They¡¯re filled with too much emotion¡ªlust. Passion. Hate. Fear.


    ¡°Please.¡± I say again, running my hands underneath his shirt and up his chest. His muscles tremble and I grow a little wetter. I¡¯m willing to tend to him and give him what he needs right now. I don¡¯t know what has overcome me. There¡¯s this surge of electricity pulsing through me and I can¡¯t stop. I need it. I need it like I need air.


    ¡°You want this?¡±


    I take his hand and push it down the front of my underwear, answering his question. He tilts his head back, releasing a groan from his throat. I shiver as his fingers shift into position and the rough pads of his fingertips twitch against my sensitive flesh. His dark stare is on my face, trying to analyze my thoughts and slowly, I begin rocking my hips against his hand. Seth¡¯s lips crash to mine and I moan as he plunges his tongue into my mouth and manages to stand. I wrap my legs tightly around him as one of his arms crushes me to him while the other still caresses my wet center. When we get into my room and without taking his mouth from mine, he kicks off his shoes and we fall onto the bed. He lies between my legs, stroking me ruthlessly now and I¡¯m panting and moaning as I instinctually flex my hips towards his hand. A painfully-amazing sensation builds up in my core and as it threatens to spill over. He stops.


    ¡°Seth.¡± I groan, breathlessly. ¡°Please.¡±


    His face hovers directly above mine and he¡¯s smiling that God damn smile. He dips a finger inside me and I whimper, and then shudder as he goes back to circling my center. I feel my stomach begin to twist uncomfortably and as I barrel towards my climax, he stops again. I groan and he chuckles, the low sound causing a sudden flash of heat to shoot down my spine. He brings his mouth to mine and catches my bottom lip between his teeth. He bites down and I wince as his fingers push into me, forcing my hips to thrust upwards. Seth releases my lips and before I know it I¡¯m begging him to keep going in a desperate pant and he curls his fingers, pressing them against the roof of me. Suddenly, there¡¯s an overwhelming need to pee and I try to slide backwards¡ªto get away from it. Chuckling oh-so sexily, he rolls most of his weight onto me, pining me down on the bed as the tips of his fingers relentlessly brush against that spot. With whatever voice I can muster up through the breathlessness, I beg for him to stop, but he pulls me into him instead.


    ¡°You¡¯re fighting it.¡± He rasps at me. ¡°Let it go.¡±


    I clench my teeth down on his shirt as an orgasm rips through me. The heat of my climax envelops me, claiming every inch of my body both inside and out. I scream and moan into his shoulder and he doesn¡¯t stop moving his fingers until I¡¯m panting and leaning lazily against him. When the arousal subsides and I look into his eyes, I flush. I¡¯ve never orgasmed in front of anyone before, let alone one of that calibre. He drags his fingers from me and I watch as he trails one along his bottom lip before sucking the tip of his index finger into his mouth. I stare in disbelief.


    ¡°Well,¡± He says, tugging his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room. ¡°I was right about one thing.¡±


    ¡°And what¡¯s that?¡±


    ¡°You do taste as good as you smell.¡±


    He slides off the bed and unbuttons his jeans. He yanks on his boxers and they group around his feet. Desire pools between my thighs once again when my sight falls onto his large, erect cock. He notices me watching unashamedly and he stands before me a little longer allowing me to admire his insanely beautiful body. ¡°Now it¡¯s your turn.¡±


    He gestures for me to come to him and like a cobra hypnotized by a flute, I crawl toward him. My bare feet hit the carpet and Seth pulls me against him. His hands slide into the nape of my neck and he presses his lips softly to mine. I melt into him, running my hands everywhere and enjoying the heat of his skin underneath them. He pulls away, leaving me breathless and turns me around. His fingers unzip my dress and it falls to my feet. He manages to unclip my bra in record time and tug me back around so we¡¯re face to face. I shiver at the sensation of the open air brushing against my chest, and I feel my nipples tighten immediately as goosebumps break across every inch of my flesh. Seth¡¯s eyes flit down to my breasts, and his lips twitch as he takes in my hardened peaks.


    ¡°Do you have any protection?¡± He asks, pressing his mouth to my throat. I slip away from him and grab a condom from the top drawer of my bedside table. He takes it from me as his eyes wander down to my chest again. He lays me down on the bed and with both hands he pulls my panties off. My initial reaction is to squeeze my legs together, but he jams his hand between my knees.


    ¡°Open them.¡±


    I don¡¯t open them completely, but enough for him to see exactly what I have. He inhales sharply. ¡°That has to be the nicest pussy I¡¯ve ever seen.¡±

 Page 20

    I close my legs. My nerves are building higher, leaving a sick feeling in the pit of my tummy. I hear the foil crumble and a few seconds later he¡¯s leaning over me, spreading my thighs with his knee. His length presses against my opening and I shudder as Seth¡¯s hands run over me, pinching and squeezing my flesh. A few minutes in and I¡¯m moaning and rocking my hips against his length. His eyes remain on my face as he reaches down and rubs himself all over me, testing my wetness. A burning sensation radiates at my entrance as he stretches me to my limits. My breath stalls and his mouth claims me as the burn becomes increasingly pleasant. He pushes hard and deep and a spine tingling pleasure rips through me. I moan into his mouth and he nips at my bottom lip before dropping his mouth to my breast, catching my nipple between his teeth.Advertisement


    ¡°Fuck...¡± He groans, biting down and making me gasp. ¡°You¡¯re so...¡±


    He growls, leaving his sentence unfinished. Hearing him talk during sex is the most arousing thing I¡¯ve ever heard. He has one of those voices that make every single hair stand to attention. He thrusts harder and faster and I cry out every time the tip of his cock reaches its maximum point.


    ¡°This is just what you wanted, isn''t it?¡±


    I moan and nod as his swollen cock strikes something deep inside of me, causing my stomach to twist in the most delightful of ways. He half-groans, half-laughs at my admission and his thick arms wrap around me. He pulls us up to a sitting position and I¡¯m on top of him as his tongue traces a hot line of saliva along my collar bone. His hips rock forward and backward as his hands cup my ass, forcing me to grind in a fast speed against him. I grip him tighter as he takes my nipple into his mouth again. A need to take control of this big, beautiful man engulfs me and I push him backwards so he¡¯s lying underneath me. The look of pure lust and passion on his face because of me almost sends me over the edge, but I refuse to let go until he says my name. I place my hands firmly on his chest and I lift my hips and then sink back down onto him with a loud cry. It feels so damn good.


    I can see it in Seth¡¯s face. He isn¡¯t going to be able to hold for much longer and my muscles ache from doing the same motions over and over, but it only fuels the orgasm waiting to tear out of me.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna come, baby.¡± He growls as he rolls me off him, quickly, pressing my back firmly against the mattress. His hand slides down my thigh and he hooks it up onto his shoulder. His biceps clench as he holds himself off me and his gaze flicks between my face and my breasts that bounce quickly as my body jerks under the powerful rocking motions of his hips. The orgasm that has patiently waited in the core of my being builds higher and higher and I can no longer contain it. As it edges closer, my body tightens and my muscles begin to tremble.


    ¡°Fuck, Olivia,¡± he groans into my ear and that¡¯s all it takes.


    My fingers dig into the skin of his shoulders and I arch my back into him, pressing my hard nipples against his chest as powerful surges of satisfaction spill through me. Instantly following my orgasm, Seth finds his own release and he moans as his head drops onto my chest and his hips move in an uneven thrust. When the tremors slow and I can breathe again, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and rolls, pulling me on top of him. We don¡¯t talk for a little while. Instead, we listen to each other¡¯s pant become even and quiet.


    I smile against Seth¡¯s chest. We had sex and it was a million times better than I thought it could ever be. Now I know why girls refuse to leave him alone after it.


    When I¡¯ve gained enough breath to speak, I say. ¡°I have to go back to work in fifteen minutes and my car is broken so you¡¯re the lucky one who gets to drive me back.¡±


    Seth scoffs and plays with the ends of my hair. ¡°If it was up to me you¡¯d never go back there.¡±


    I sit up a little, so I can see his face. He looks at me with serious eyes and tucks his hands behind his head. The muscles in his arms jut outwards and I want to run my tongue over them. I want to memorize every bulge and depression.


    ¡°He¡¯s a good boss, Seth.¡±


    He frowns. ¡°Only because he wants to get in your pants.¡±


    ¡°True, but even if that wasn¡¯t the case I can tell he¡¯s a good person.¡±


    He shrugs his shoulders. ¡°How¡¯d you get to work this morning?¡± His subject change was anything but subtle.


    ¡°Well, I was going to catch a taxi, but Blade took me instead.¡±


    Seth¡¯s brows furrow deeper at Blade¡¯s name. ¡°You called him?¡±


    ¡°No, he showed up unexpectedly.¡± My mind falls onto all of the things Blade said and I figure now is as good a time as ever to ask him about it. ¡°He saw you guys at Heaven¡¯s last night... you were making out with the brunette girl from the gym.¡±


    It takes all of my strength to keep my face neutral and not assuming. I expect a look of shock or at least wide eyes, but all I get is a laugh that rumbles through Seth¡¯s chest.


    ¡°He said I was making out with her?¡±


    I nod.


    ¡°No. She threw herself at me and I told her where to go. Then Selena slams me for treating Cassy like shit.¡± He shakes his head. ¡°I can¡¯t win.¡±


    The brunette with the big fake boobs is named Cassy... I hate it, but I believe him when he says he didn¡¯t kiss her first. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯d do if he said he had kissed her first.


    ¡°Selena sure talks a lot when she¡¯s drunk.¡± He adds.


    ¡°Yeah, she told Blade everything... he knows we aren¡¯t together and he wants me back.¡±


    Seth¡¯s dark eyes burn into mine and he seems almost pissed off. ¡°And what did you say?¡±


    I look around the room and at his naked body like it¡¯s obvious. ¡°We just had sex, of course my answer was no.¡±


    Seth¡¯s tense face melts into an over-confident smile and tugs me onto him. ¡°Good, because I think I want seconds.¡±


    His tongue forces its way between my lips and I massage his with mine before pulling away. ¡°I can¡¯t. I have to go to work.¡±


    I slide off the bed and put all of my clothes back on before fishing my phone out of my pocket and checking the screen. I have a missed call from work. I put it to my ear and play it.


    ¡°Hey, Olivia.¡± Mason¡¯s depressed voice mumbles. ¡°I closed work early. I¡¯ll see you back next week... sorry, for today. It just caught me off guard. Bye.¡±


    ¡°Hm.¡± I huff, lowering it from my ear and slapping my phone against the palm of my hand. ¡°Mason closed the office.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but to feel bad. It¡¯s my fault... Seth reaches across the bed and pulls on the hem off my dress, drawing me closer. His mouth curves into a delicious smile and his eyes dance with indecent excitement. ¡°Lucky me.¡±


    Seth and I spent the rest of the day in bed yesterday, but today, I haven¡¯t seen him. He¡¯s texted me a few times asking me to go to his next fight in Concord, New Hampshire, but every time I¡¯ve replied back ¡®no¡¯. I¡¯m still getting over the last one.


    I¡¯ve been keeping myself busy today by cleaning the apartment from top to bottom and now I have to get ready for dinner with Mom and Dad. For my mom¡¯s sake, I wear a pair of jeans and the green, high-necked sweater she bought for me for Christmas last year. I really dislike it. Green is definitely not my color and there are only so many times I can use the ¡®it¡¯s in the wash¡¯ excuse.


    Because it¡¯s Sunday and my car isn¡¯t getting repaired until tomorrow, I have to call a taxi. When I pull my hair into a ponytail, and apply a little lip gloss, the taxi pulls up outside, blasting its horn once.


    The ride to my parent¡¯s house is painfully slow and I wish I had sat in the backseat instead of the front. The driver is old, much too old to be driving a car and he keeps missing the turn offs. When we finally pull up outside my parent¡¯s house, the driver only takes a small portion of the money owed and I thank him because there was no way I was paying him full price.


    I turn to the house. The glowing orange and red sunset gives the beautiful, one storey house a warm feel. A big oak tree stands to the left of the yard, providing a dark shadow over the tire swing my brother and I built as kids. The grass is mowed and maintained to perfection and I wonder if it¡¯s as soft as it was when I was younger. I open the small white gate and step onto the rocky footpath. Pebbles crunch beneath my feet and the smell of Shepherd¡¯s Pie and roast vegetables waft into my nose. I walk along the pathway and onto the wooden porch. As soon as I knock on the door, I hear my mother drop whatever she¡¯s doing in the kitchen and she rushes to the door. She pulls it open and I¡¯m greeted by her smiling face and soft chocolate curls that tuck around her ears.


    ¡°Darling!¡± She squeals, unlocking the screen and pulling me into a hug. She smells like basil and salt. ¡°You know you don¡¯t have to knock here. Come right in.¡±


    She drags me into the house, smiling gleefully at my sweater. The first room I step into is the living room and Dad is sitting in his recliner watching some MMA fight¡ªa re-run, probably.


    ¡°Richard!¡± Mom snaps, tugging on the hem of her pretty lilac apron. ¡°Olivia is here. Turn that junk off.¡±


    She marches into the kitchen and I join Dad in the lounge room. He shuts off the T.V and leans forward in his chair as I drop into the couch. ¡°How are you, kiddo?¡±


    ¡°Good. Did you have fun after the fight on Friday?¡±


    ¡°I would have if your mother hadn¡¯t forbidden me from drinking.¡± He rolls his brown eyes and I smile at him.


    ¡°There¡¯s always next time.¡± I say, leaning back into the couch.


    ¡°Speaking of which, are you going to Concord with Seth and the team tomorrow night?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°No thanks.¡±


    ¡°Come on¡ª¡±


    ¡°Rick, don¡¯t make the poor girl go if she doesn¡¯t want to go.¡± Mom shouts from the kitchen. She¡¯s always eavesdropping. ¡°I don¡¯t want her hanging around those fighter types. They¡¯re aggressive and dangerous. We¡¯re meant to be protecting our daughter not thrusting her in harm¡¯s way.¡±


    Dad rolls his eyes and lowers his voice. ¡°She met Seth yesterday when he came to get his car.¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t like him?¡±


    His narrow shoulders shrug. ¡°You know how she is. She has a hard time dealing with people she can¡¯t control.¡±


    He¡¯s right. Although I love my mother to bits, she¡¯s too controlling, too set in her ways.


    ¡°And she¡¯s as against fighting as you are.¡± He adds, drinking back the last mouthful of his beer.


    ¡°I¡¯m not against it, Dad. I just don¡¯t like watching it... it¡¯s brutal.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s life.¡± He crushes the empty can of beer and lifts himself from his chair. ¡°People have been fighting each other since the beginning of time.¡± He disappears around the corner to the kitchen and I glance at the big wooden clock on the wall above the T.V. I hate how fighting isn¡¯t a big deal to anyone but me. Even Mom stomachs it just to spend time with Dad. I¡¯d love to go to Concord to support Seth, but I just can¡¯t deal with the fighting.


    ¡°Olivia, dinner!¡± Mom¡¯s voice forces me from the couch to the kitchen. Next to it is the dining room and Dad is sitting at the head of the long, wooden table. He¡¯s sat in that same chair for dinner for as long as I can remember.


    ¡°Are you going to Concord?¡± I ask him, falling into the seat closest to him.


    ¡°I sure am. They plan to be in New Hampshire for two nights.¡±


    Mom takes the large Shepherd¡¯s pie from the oven along with the baked vegetables. The potatoes are a golden brown, specked with various herbs and the edges around the pumpkin are darkened to perfection, making my mouth water.


    ¡°You¡¯re father shouldn¡¯t be going. Not with his high blood pressure anyway.¡±


    I look at Dad and his jaw tenses.


    ¡°You have high blood pressure? Are you okay? Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡±


    Dad waves his hand at me like it¡¯s no big deal. ¡°I feel fine. The doctor is just being cautious.¡±


    Mom puts the food onto pretty, flower patterned serving dishes before setting them at the table before us. I want to ask Dad more about him. I want to know how he¡¯s feeling, or if he needs me to take care of the gym a few days a week. When Mom heads back into the kitchen, Dad leans closer to me.


    ¡°Your mother doesn¡¯t know that you and Seth are dating, so¡ª¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not dating, Dad. We¡¯re friends.¡± Friends who just so happened to rock each other¡¯s world.


    He rolls his eyes for the second time tonight. ¡°Yeah, okay. Just break it to her gently.¡±


    Mom pulls her apron over her head, adjusts the way her red dress sits and then joins us at the table. Mom tells us all about her day in town while we scoop food onto our plates. I¡¯ve been here twenty minutes and there¡¯s been no mention of moving back in. That¡¯s some kind of record.


    ¡°So Mom,¡± I say, pouring gravy on my baked vegetables. ¡°You met my friend Seth yesterday...¡±


    ¡°I did.¡± Her green eyes avoid mine and I know that isn¡¯t a good sign. ¡°Have you and Blade spoken since the break up?¡±


    Even Dad groans at the mention of his name and I don¡¯t appreciate her dodging around Seth to talk about Blade.


    ¡°Yes, actually, he drove me to work yesterday.¡± From the corner of my eye, I see Dad shake his head. ¡°We¡¯re still not back together.¡± I state matter of factly.


    ¡°Do you want to get back together?¡± Mom asks.


    There¡¯s a hopeful gleam in her eye and it completely pisses me off. She knows what Blade has done to me and should have no doubt guessed that he¡¯s done the same thing this time around, too.

 Page 21

    ¡°No.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Olivia, you and Blade have been together for a very long time. I¡¯m sure you two can work out whatever is going on between you.¡±


    ¡°This time is different.¡± I shrug, putting a forkful of potato into my mouth.


    ¡°Because of Seth?¡±


    I swallow. ¡°No, it has nothing to do with Seth. Blade¡ª¡±


    ¡°Is a disrespectful little shit and I¡¯m glad that he¡¯s no longer in our daughter¡¯s life. Now drop it.¡± Dad squeezes my hand before going back to his meal and I nod thankfully at him.


    Mom¡¯s manicured hands rub at her temples. ¡°Maybe if you lived here¡ª¡±


    ¡°Mom,¡± I groan. My fork clings against my plate as it collides with the ceramic material. ¡°I don¡¯t live here and I haven¡¯t for three years now. I don¡¯t plan on moving back in, ever.¡±


    She glances at Dad and waits for him to step in and back her up. Usually he does, but last week he promised me he wouldn¡¯t mention anything about me moving back in if I came to dinner.


    ¡°Really Rick? You¡¯re not going to help me? It¡¯s like this... this... Seth, has you both wrapped around his finger.¡±


    ¡°He is my boss.¡± Dad mutters indifferently.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care. He¡¯s bad news.¡±


    ¡°He hasn¡¯t done anything.¡± I object.


    She brushes my comment off. ¡°You¡¯re blinded by your hormones.¡±


    ¡°Sandra!¡± Dad snaps. He gets agitated whenever Mom refers to my sex life. ¡°Olivia can date whoever she wants. If she wants to be with Seth¡ª¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re with Seth?¡± Great.


    ¡°Dad!¡± I snap, but he shrugs his shoulders like it¡¯s no big deal. ¡°No, I¡¯m not with Seth.¡±


    My phone vibrates in the pocket of my jeans and while my attention is diverted to my phone, Mom leans closer to Dad and cusses him out for not helping her. I ignore their quiet bickering and read a text from Selena.


    FROM: SELENA. TIME: 7:13 P.M.


    We¡¯re coming! :)


    I stare at the screen for a little while, confused at the meaning of her text.


    TO: SELENA. TIME: 7:14 P.M.


    You sent your text to the


    wrong person, silly.


    I¡¯m at my parents having


    dinner.


    FROM: SELENA - TIME: 7:14 P.M.


    No. We¡¯re coming to get you.


    Seth said you¡¯re down for


    Coming out!


    TO: SELENA. TIME: 7:15 P.M.


    Well, Seth lied. I¡¯m busy.


    FROM: SELENA. TIME: 7:15 P.M.


    Too late. Xox


    ¡°What is it?¡± Mom asked, peering down her nose at my screen.


    ¡°Apparently, I¡¯m going out with Selena and a few friends tonight.¡±


    I scoop as much potato and pie into my mouth as I can. The only way to get out of here without offending Mom is to eat every crumb of food.


    ¡°That¡¯s good. Maybe a night out with friends is exactly what you need to clear your head.¡±


    I nod, purposely neglecting to mention that Seth is probably going to be there, too. I glance sideways at Dad who smiles at me. He isn¡¯t stupid. He knows Seth will be there and he likes that I¡¯m spending time with him¡­ if only he knew what Seth was doing to his little girl yesterday. I can¡¯t imagine him being ¡®Team Seth¡¯ after that.


    Half an hour later, there¡¯s an enthusiastic knock at the door.


    ¡°They¡¯re here already?¡± Mom asks, raising her eyebrows.


    I shrug, playing dumb. I knew they were on their way, but I didn¡¯t want Mom to think I planned it to ruin her dinner. I rise from my chair and open my mouth to thank Mom for dinner, only she rises from her chair too and strolls across the room to grab more plates from the cupboard.


    ¡°Mom, what are you doing?¡± I ask curiously.


    ¡°We have plenty of food. Your friends can fill their bellies before they immerse themselves in alcohol. Sit.¡±


    The blood drains from my face and I sit back in my chair as Mom rushes to the door. Loud whoops and cheers ring through the house and soon Mom enters the kitchen with a handful of very rowdy, slightly drunk adults. Seth¡¯s gorgeous face is among them and seeing him again after what happened between us sends my cheeks burning. He looks so good in dark jeans and a blue t-shirt and I drag my sight from the outlines of his hard chest to his dark gaze. It zeros in on me and the corner of his lips twitch.


    Mom is eyeing up Selena¡¯s dress in disapproval, but I liked it¡ªthe yellow and white contrasts nicely with her tan skin and soft, blonde curls. Sure, it¡¯s a little on the exposing side, but Mom has to expect that from Selena by now. Mom slides into her chair and Selena drops in next to her. Everyone manages to find a seat around our ten-seater dining table and Seth settles beside me. His leg rests against mine, sending electrical currents through my body and I try to ignore it by focusing on everyone else. I knew Selena and Seth, and I recognized Jackson in his loose jeans and white tee, but I had no idea who the other four men were.


    ¡°That sweater is... interesting, O.¡± Selena says, earning a scowl from my mother.


    ¡°It¡¯s a very nice sweater. I bought that for her for Christmas last year.¡±


    Selena pales in the face. Even she¡¯s scared of my Mom.


    ¡°I meant interestingly gorgeous.¡± She mumbles, scooping vegetables onto her plate as Mom smiles and nods in agreement.


    Everyone is eating and talking. Seth is deep in conversation over my head with Dad and I continue to eat my potato listening to Selena tell Mom about her day at the firm. I watch as Mom¡¯s eyes narrow in on Seth¡¯s clean, empty plate. He hasn¡¯t touched any of her food and I know she¡¯s going to¡ª


    ¡°Not hungry, Seth?¡±


    Crap. I can see her judging eyes watching him, just waiting for him to do or say something wrong.


    ¡°No ma¡¯am.¡± He replies politely, smiling widely. ¡°I¡¯m on a strict diet.¡±


    Selena glances sympathetically at me from under her brow. She understands how anal my mom is about food. If you¡¯re in her house you better eat her food, even if you¡¯re full.


    ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal, Mom.¡± I assure her. ¡°Seth needs to do certain things and eat certain things for the sake of his career. It¡¯s not about your food. Your food is delicious.¡±


    Everyone mumbles their agreement and Mom¡¯s accusing stare drops as she returns to her conversation with Selena.


    ¡°Your mom is intense.¡± Seth mutters to me and I nod.


    ¡°That¡¯s the understatement of the century.¡±


    As soon as the food is devoured, we all jump to our feet and say our goodbyes. Mom and Dad walk us to the door, shaking hands and giving out hugs. I don¡¯t miss the way Dad stares at Seth with such pride and adoration, and it brings a smile to my face.


    ¡°Be careful, please.¡± Mom says, kissing my cheek.


    ¡°I always am.¡±


    She nods curtly to Seth and we step out onto the porch. He laces his fingers with mine and leads me down the pebble path. I glance down at our hands, confused.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I ask him.


    He smiles down at me, his eyes flaring with amusement. ¡°I believe this is called hand holding. People do it when they are fond of another person¡ªor when they want to piss off someone¡¯s mother.¡±


    I choke on a laugh. ¡°And which one is this?¡±


    ¡°Maybe a bit of both.¡± He replies as we make it to the car.


    He stops and glances back to the house. I follow his line of sight and see Mom looking through the curtains at us, watching like a hawk. I shake my head at her, but she doesn¡¯t go away. Rolling my eyes, I look back to Seth. He¡¯s smiling devilishly at me and steps closer, seizing my waist.


    ¡°Seth, don¡ª¡± But it¡¯s too late. He¡¯s already pressed his tasty, full lips to mine.


    His tongue glides across my lip and I open my mouth, not giving it a second thought. He kisses me hard and passionate before his teeth nip my bottom lip, leaving it tingling as he pulls away. His eyes search mine with a satisfied gleam.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you do that?¡± I groan breathlessly, knowing very well Mom will use that against him later.


    ¡°You¡¯re mom already thinks I¡¯m bad for you. I might as well go the whole nine yards.¡±


    I shove him. ¡°You play dirty.¡±


    He presses his index finger against my concealed nipple and circles it slowly. I swat his hand away and he chuckles, drawing a smile from me.


    ¡°Tell me something I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Before we went out, Selena demanded that I go home and change, which was fine by me. I didn¡¯t want to wear the sweater just as much as she didn¡¯t want to see it. I got dressed and did my hair and make-up in record time¡ªit¡¯s unsettling having so many people I don¡¯t know lounging around my apartment.


    Tonight, I decide to wear a white halter neck with a plunging neckline and a black, waist-high pencil skirt. I looked more like I was going to a work function than a club, but I felt comfortable¡ªI felt sexy and in control.


    Heaven¡¯s is an elegant club. Sure, lots of scum and skanks go there, but you can¡¯t gain entrance unless you look classy and I look classy. There¡¯s a firm knock at my door as I slide into a black pair of heels.


    ¡°Come in.¡± I call, expecting Selena¡¯s face but getting Seth¡¯s.


    His eyes sweep shamelessly over my completely exposed legs and he catches the side of his bottom lip between his teeth before they turn up in a glorious, come-hither smirk.


    ¡°What?¡± I prompt, clipping in some gold hoops.


    He takes purposefully slow steps toward me, each step seeming measured and deliberate. I hold my breath as he closes the distance between us.


    ¡°I¡¯m contemplating whether I should let you go to the club and tease me, or if I should take you right now.¡±


    His fingers brush along my jaw and down my neck before following the fabric of my shirt down to my breasts. Under his touch, my blood boils. In close proximity, his cologne surrounds me and my knees weaken. He notices and chuckles under his breath as his strong hands roam me. He cups my backside and presses me firmly against him as he angles his head, bringing his lips closer to mine. My heart aches as it slams against my ribcage and my insides clench and pulsate. I want his mouth on me and I want it now.


    ¡°We can stay.¡± I whisper as our lips graze.


    With a sardonic smirk, he releases me and steps away. I blink a few times, confused. ¡°What the hell?¡±


    ¡°The sexually frustrated feeling you¡¯re experiencing right now is how you¡¯re going to make me feel all night just by wearing that fucking outfit.¡±


    I watch his wide, shapely back exit my room leaving me staring after him. I run my hands over my face, trying to regain some composure. He knows exactly which buttons to push to get me going and I hate it. I pull my hair from my ponytail and run a comb through it. It lies against my shoulders, framing my face and I flick it around a little bit, giving it more volume. I do a little twirl in front of my mirror and leave my room. The wolf whistles and cheers that erupt upon my entrance into the lounge room tells me I look as good as I thought I did.


    ¡°Are we catching a taxi?¡± I ask Selena.


    ¡°Nah, Seth volunteered to be the designated driver.¡±


    One by one they leave my apartment and head to the car.


    ¡°You¡¯re not in the partying mood tonight?¡± I ask Seth, confused because he¡¯s the reason I¡¯m going out.


    ¡°I can¡¯t, I have a fight coming up and I¡¯m not a big drinker, anyway.¡±


    ¡°Really? I would have picked you to be quite the partier.¡±


    Seth shrugs and wraps an arm around my waist. He pulls me along beside him as we walk down the steps from my apartment. Two of his friends eye us curiously, like they¡¯ve never seen Seth with a girl before and I can¡¯t help but wonder if there¡¯s more going on in our relationship than I first thought. The friends, including Selena, pile into the back of Seth¡¯s car, leaving the front two seats for Seth and I. When the back door shuts, I turn to Seth.


    ¡°Before we go out tonight, I want to clear up a few things between us.¡±


    He removes his hand from my waist and leans against the passenger side of his car.


    ¡°Okay,¡± I begin, rubbing my fingers on my forehead and praying I don¡¯t embarrass myself. ¡°So, we had sex...¡±


    He smiles a full smile, one that exposes his white teeth and my cheeks heat up. ¡°I¡¯m well aware of that.¡±


    ¡°But,¡± I continue, ignoring his response. ¡°We aren¡¯t together?¡±


    ¡°Right.¡± His voice doesn¡¯t sound certain, but I ignore it.


    ¡°Sorry, it¡¯s all the touching and waist holding... it¡¯s confusing me. I¡¯m just clarifying our position so no one¡¯s feelings get hurt tonight.¡±


    He frowns at me and my heart almost shatters in my chest. I¡¯ve said something wrong. ¡°You¡¯re going to hurt my feelings?¡± Seth replies with a daring gleam in his eyes.


    ¡°It¡¯s not your feelings I¡¯m worried about.¡± I mutter, feeling stupid for just saying it. Seth will undoubtedly have admirers if we go out tonight, more specifically, girl admirers, the kind that¡¯ll do and say anything just to get closer to him.


    He tilts his head to the side, analyzing my face. ¡°You mistake my intent on our non-existent boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.¡± He steps closer. ¡°We might not be using the titles, but I still claim you as mine.¡±


    ¡°Yours?¡±


    Normally, I hate when people refer to other people as a possession, but when Seth says it there¡¯s something extremely sexy and alluring about it.


    ¡°Damn straight.¡± He grips my hips, pulling me into him. ¡°You are mine and I¡¯ll make sure every single person in the club knows it.¡±

 Page 22

    ¡°But you made it very clear to Don that I¡¯m not yours...¡±Advertisement


    ¡°That¡¯s because Don and I have a lot of history. If I told him you were mine, he wouldn¡¯t have let you leave.¡±


    Of course Seth has history with Don. He seems to have history with everybody. ¡°Let me guess, you slept with his girlfriend?¡±


    The back window winds down and Jackson sticks his head out. His hair has more products in it than Selena¡¯s and that¡¯s saying something. ¡°Hey, lovebirds, when you¡¯re ready we¡¯d like to go to Heaven¡¯s!¡±


    Whoops and cheers follow his demand and Seth opens the passenger door for me.


    ¡°I never said I was perfect.¡± He tells me.


    Inside, the car is loud and annoying. I can¡¯t hear myself think and a small pain begins to form behind my eyes. I lean my head back on the headrest and I briefly close my eyes. Seth¡¯s large, warm hand rests on my thigh as he drives us to Heaven¡¯s nightclub.


    We park in Heaven¡¯s car park and walk around to the front. The group we¡¯re with is pumped. They¡¯re talking about drinking and dancing and girls, and all I can think about is crawling back into a nice warm bed, preferably with Seth. The line into the club is long, filled with drunks, skanks and pissed off people who just want a drink. As I go to stand behind a couple practically having sex, Seth grabs my wrist and forces me to keep walking. We pass the long line of people and all of them watch us curiously as we step right up to the front door.


    The security guard runs his hand over his bald head, smiling widely. ¡°Seth, man¡¯ It¡¯s been a long time! How¡¯ve you been, bro?¡±


    ¡°The usual.¡± Seth replies, slipping his arm around my waist.


    The guard¡¯s eyes rake me from head to toe. ¡°I see that.¡±


    I frown. What the hell does that mean? The security guard steps aside, letting all of us into the club and behind us, the crowd goes mental.


    Inside, the club is going off and it¡¯s pretty much packed to the roof. You can¡¯t notice the club¡¯s usually beautiful decor. It¡¯s all blocked and covered by bodies, gyrating to the loud club music. I inch closer to Seth and Selena grabs onto my elbow as he drags us through large throngs of people, right up to the V.I.P room. The two massive security guards standing in front of the door take one look at Seth and step out of the way. They hold the large blue door open and we climb a small set of stairs before being unleashed into another club upstairs. The V.I.P room gives off a Middle Eastern vibe with the red and brown curtains that separate couches and low set coffee tables. It¡¯s so much easier to breathe upstairs compared to the confined space downstairs and there¡¯s only a maximum of twelve people¡ªnot including our group. It helps the headache I carry with me to slip away. Jackson, Selena and the rest of the group practically sprint to the bar while Seth and I make ourselves comfortable on a couch.


    ¡°How do you get all this?¡± I ask him. ¡°You¡¯re only an amateur fighter, yet you have a nice car and get treated like royalty.¡±


    He leans back in the chair and plays with the ends of my hair, twirling it around his index finger. ¡°I may be competing in an amateur tournament, but I¡¯ve been in the game for a long time. People know me.¡±


    The group returns with a mass amount of shots and they place them all evenly across the table. Six shots each. All of them were of different colors, ranging from clear to pitch black.


    I turn to Seth. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re not going to drink?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely not.¡± Jackson butts in, handing Seth a bottle of water. ¡°We¡¯re taking the competition out this year.¡± He glances between Seth and I. ¡°No risks.¡±


    Following the others, I tip a clear shot down my throat and immediately it feels like it¡¯s burning a hole. I lower my glass to the table, taking a second for the harsh taste to leave my mouth. I look at everyone else¡¯s glasses and they¡¯ve finished shooting them. They stare at me highly amuse, like I¡¯m incompetent and not worthy to drink with them.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care how you look at me.¡± I laugh, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth. ¡°I¡¯m not giving myself alcohol poisoning.¡±


    Selena winks at me as I drink the second shot. She knows how I am with my alcohol. I don¡¯t drink to get drunk, I drink to get light headed and have a good time. This many shots is not a good time. Jackson and Selena take off somewhere and the rest of the boys head downstairs to pick up girls, leaving Seth and I alone. Despite the dinner I had, the shots are already making my head feel light.


    When I hit my fourth shot sometime later, I decide to stop and I lean into Seth as his lips wrap around the top of his bottle. I stare at them as he swallows a mouthful and I desperately want to taste them myself.


    ¡°So, why aren¡¯t you a big drinker? Do you not like the taste or the feeling?¡± I ask, dragging my gaze from his lips to his eyes.


    He screws the lid on his bottle and places it on the table. ¡°Feeling inquisitive, are you?¡±


    I nod and he wraps an arm around me. ¡°There¡¯s just so much I need to understand about you. You constantly surprise me.¡±


    He traces an ¡®S¡¯ on my lower back over and over as his big, brown eyes watch my face. ¡°Half of the reason is because I don¡¯t like not being in control and the other half... well...¡± His brows knit together. ¡°It¡¯s a long and complicated story.¡±


    It always is with him. I respect his decision not to tell me even though every fiber in my being is screaming for me to probe deeper. Loud cheers ring throughout the V.I.P room, distracting me. Our small group of friends is leading a bunch of randoms up the stairs and soon the room becomes as packed as downstairs. Selena drops onto the couch next to me as Jackson engages Seth in a conversation.


    ¡°You still have two shots left.¡± Selena shouts in my ear before looking at me like she¡¯s just busted me throwing out a gift.


    ¡°I¡¯m feeling good. I don¡¯t want to overdo it.¡±


    Ignoring what I said, she hands me a shot anyway. ¡°We¡¯ll do one together then.¡±


    The black liquid burns my nose as I bring it to my lips. Selena winks at me and I tilt my head back, pouring the liquid down the hatch. The liquorice tasting shot goes down surprisingly well and I barely sit the glass down on the table when Selena pulls me to my feet. ¡°Let¡¯s dance.¡±


    I groan in protest, but I don¡¯t do much to stop her from dragging me to the dance floor. My head is extremely light now and I¡¯m having fun. Selena and I dance together, completely forgetting that we¡¯re here with people.


    I have no idea how long we¡¯ve been dancing, but I¡¯m sweating and the amount of people in the room has lessened. Selena leans into my ear and her blonde hair sticks to my damp cheek. ¡°One more drink?¡±


    I shrug my shoulders and nod. One more couldn¡¯t hurt, I suppose. Her elbow hooks around mine and we walk to the bar. I rest my elbows on the varnished surface, supporting some of my weight. If it wasn¡¯t so loud in here I¡¯d hear my legs sigh in relief. I look back at Seth and frown when I see a girl next to him with her pretty, manicured hand on his knee. Like almost every other girl here she has big, fake boobs and long, platinum blonde hair that curls around her breasts. His eyes shift from her to me and I force my best ¡®not jealous¡¯ smile before turning back to the bar. I have to trust him. Selena leans in to order and a drunken idiot rudely steps between us, bumping Selena into the girl next to her. The girl is pissed, although I have no idea why, not a drop lands on her sky-blue tube dress. The girl¡¯s face contorts into a bitchy scowl.


    "What the fuck!" She growls at Selena, baring her freakishly white teeth and swaying slightly.


    Selena looks at me over her shoulder, giggling like an idiot and I bite back a smile. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Selena half laughs, half apologizes. ¡°This guy¡ª¡±


    ¡°Fuck that. You owe me a drink.¡±


    The two friends behind her groan incoherently in agreement.


    ¡°I don¡¯t owe you shit.¡± Selena replies.


    Selena isn¡¯t one to avoid a bar fight (or so she says) so I tug on Selena¡¯s hand. There¡¯s no way I¡¯m getting into a fight in these heels. Scratch that, there¡¯s no way I¡¯m getting into a fight, period. I haven¡¯t had one in my twenty-three years of living and I don¡¯t want to start now. ¡°It¡¯s no big deal, Sel. Just replace her drink.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    The blonde steps forward in an attempt to intimidate Selena. She isn¡¯t that intimidating... I mean, she isn¡¯t much taller than me and her make-up is done horridly, like a clown at a carnival.


    ¡°Replace. My. Fucking. Drink.¡±


    Selena steps toward the girl and I run around her, bravely throwing myself between them.


    ¡°Relax.¡± I say to the girl. ¡°I¡¯ll replace your drink. What were you drinking?¡±


    ¡°Gin and tonic.¡±


    I tell the bartender and he whips one up. When he hands it to me, I slide it against the varnished wood toward the girl. Her dark eyes survey me and then the drink. After a few seconds, she smiles at me and grasps the glass. I sag in relief. Thank God that¡¯s over. Before I turn to Selena, the blonde clown slides the drink off the bar and it crashes at my feet, wetting my toes. Seth is at my side instantly, his hand planted firmly around my waist. A few people are staring now and anger burns inside me. My gaze rises from my feet to the girl¡¯s annoyingly, smug face. Selena steps around me and shoves the girl hard. ¡°What the hell is your problem?¡± She shouts.


    The random blonde stumbles backward before launching forward at Selena. I don¡¯t know what happened... the next thing I know, my fist flies out from beside me and I punch the girl in the jaw. She goes down hard and I stand over her, dominating her. She looks up at me, clasping her jaw. Her eyes are shiny with tears, making me feel like shit. Oh, fuck. What have I done? I open my mouth to apologize and help her up, but strong arms seize me.


    ¡°Time to go.¡± Seth laughs under his breath, throwing me over his shoulder.


    I crane my neck to look up and behind me Jackson is carrying Selena whose whooping and yelling at the girl I punched.


    I punched a girl.


    In the face.


    I close my eyes, hoping the bout of nausea that courses through me stops. I have no idea what overcame me. I knew the girl was going to hit Selena and I just reacted. Crap. What the hell was I thinking?


    I don''t open my eyes until the night air cools my burning skin. Even though we''re outside, Seth doesn¡¯t put me down and I don¡¯t want him to. My insides are too wired, buzzing like a bug zapper with a huge moth lodged in it. My hands shake and I flex them in an attempt to steady them, but it fails. We round the corner of the club and officially enter the car park when Seth sets me down. My shoes find the hard ground and I stumble slightly. The shots have hit me harder than I thought. Seth is smiling his cocky smile at me and I glare back at him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t smile like that. I just assaulted someone.¡± I rake my fingers through my hair. ¡°Oh my God... I just assaulted someone. I¡¯m going to go to prison.¡±


    He laughs loudly and steadies my swaying by placing his hands on my shoulders. ¡°You¡¯re not going to prison. That girl was too drunk to realize what was happening.¡±


    His warm hand trails down my arm and settles in my trembling hand. He pulls it to his lips, placing soft kisses along my knuckles.


    ¡°You¡¯re a bad influence, Seth.¡± I say, inching closer to him.


    I can make out his irises under the street lamp above us and they¡¯re burning into mine with such intensity. His smile still hasn¡¯t left his face and the way he looks at me thrills me to no end.


    ¡°I did warn you.¡± He replies, pressing his lips to mine.


    He takes control and I¡¯m helpless against him. His tongue slips inside my mouth as one of his hands glides under the low cut fabric of my shirt, trailing down the center of my back. My breast falls from my shirt and a growl emanates from him, sending a rush of power through me. As my entire body heats up, I press myself harder against him.


    ¡°That was awesome!¡± Selena squeals, thrusting her hands in the air.


    Seth withdraws from me, removing his hand from my shirt. He pulls the fabric to cover my breast again as Jackson sets Selena down on the concrete. Seth steps away as Selena launches herself at me. Her long, skinny arms wrap around my neck and she almost cuts off my air supply. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you punched a girl for me.¡±


    She pulls back slightly and presses her (somehow still overly glossed) lips to my cheek.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it.¡± I whine. ¡°Can we get out of here?¡±


    Selena frowns. ¡°What about the other guys?¡±


    Jackson shrugs. ¡°They¡¯re busy. They¡¯ll find their own way home.¡±


    We cut through the car park and climb into Seth¡¯s car. Selena and Jackson kiss and moan all the way to my apartment and as soon as we pull up I¡¯m out of the car, up my stairs and in my house just to get away from all of the kissing noises. I fetch a bottle of water from the fridge and head to my room. Seth follows closely behind and shuts my door behind him. I sit the water on the bedside table and kick my shoes off while unclipping my earrings. I can hear Selena and Jackson talking and laughing in the next room. Thank God I don¡¯t have work tomorrow because I can see I¡¯m not going to get much sleep tonight. Seth comes up behind me and I tilt my head forward as he unties the knot holding my shirt up. It falls down, exposing my bare breasts. His fingers hook around the hem of my pencil skirt and he drags the zipper down, letting the fabric slip off my body and pool around my feet. I¡¯m naked now. The only piece of cloth that covers me is my flimsy, black lace underwear. I climb across the bed and get under the covers as Seth switches out the light. I hear him pulling off his own clothes before he climbs into bed. In the darkness, his warm hands run across my flat stomach, making me shudder.

 Page 23

    ¡°I¡¯ve been sweating.¡± I warn him.Advertisement


    He chuckles. ¡°That¡¯s okay, the best things in life happen when your sweating.¡±


    I turn my body toward him, pressing it slightly against his naked chest. My fingers trail up and down his sides, tracing all of his muscular bumps. His hand rests on my hip and I become ravenously hungry for his touch. I kiss him, slowly at first and then I slip my tongue into his mouth. I groan in protest as he pulls away from me. ¡°I want you to come to Concord with me.¡±


    I fall back onto my pillow. ¡°Seth, I already said no.¡±


    ¡°That was before you almost knocked out a girl in a club.¡±


    My fist aches as he speaks. I still can¡¯t believe I did that. That¡¯s not me at all. ¡°Just because I punched someone doesn¡¯t mean I want to be the poster boy for MMA. I should have helped her up... or apologized or something.¡±


    He laughs once and pulls me closer. ¡°Yeah because that would have helped the situation.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m surprised you even noticed what was happening with me. The blonde you were sitting with seemed pretty adamant at getting your attention.¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°The blonde was mediocre at best. My attention was on you, all night.¡±


    I feel heat climb into my cheeks. The thought of someone like Seth wanting me the way he does is exciting.


    ¡°Your dad is coming.¡± Seth says, changing the subject back to his fight in Concord.


    ¡°I don¡¯t ca¡ªshit.¡± Dad has high blood pressure. I can¡¯t let him go by himself, what if something happens? ¡°Can you tell Dad he can¡¯t go to Concord with you?¡±


    Seth pushes himself up on his elbows. ¡°What? No, I can¡¯t tell him that. Poor guy will be devastated.¡±


    I sigh, pulling Seth back down. ¡°He has high blood pressure and I¡¯m a little worried about him.¡±


    ¡°You could come and keep an eye on him.¡±


    ¡°Look at you manipulating the situation to get what you want.¡± I exhale. ¡°Fine. I¡¯ll go.¡±


    Seth crushes me to him, squeezing so hard my ribs begin to ache. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Now that I¡¯ve caved for him, I¡¯m done talking. I want to be physical. I can feel my insides pulsating with need and I curl my fingers under the hem to his shorts. I tug on them slightly, letting him know exactly what I want. Instantly, I feel him go hard and stab into me. Hot desire burns through me, but Seth seems more reserved. He takes my hands from his shorts while groaning. ¡°I can¡¯t.¡±


    I¡¯m taken aback. ¡°You can¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°I have a fight coming up and I don¡¯t usually have sex before a fight. It helps my levels.¡±


    ¡°We had sex yesterday. I don¡¯t think one day is going to make a difference.¡±


    ¡°I know, yesterday I completely forgot. I was too turned on and you were so sure and...¡± He exhales. ¡°Darryl would kill me if he found out.¡±


    ¡°You have to inform him about your sexual adventures?¡±


    ¡°Close to fights, yeah. I don¡¯t agree that sex changes the way I fight, but until I make it to pro, he wants me to be committed to the way he does things. Sadly, it was a hell of a lot easier before I met you.¡±


    ¡°Well, that sucks.¡± I pout.


    His hands skim over my breasts, making me shudder before he traps his hands under his pillow. ¡°You have no idea.¡±


    Since sex isn¡¯t on the menu, I shift my position and press my back against Seth¡¯s chest. I close my eyes, ignoring the need that pulses between my thighs. It seems I have to wait. If he hadn¡¯t teased me all night with his touching and his kissing I¡¯d be fine right now. My eyelids become heavy and as sleep is about to take me, I distinctly hear moaning. Seth and I rise up at the same time, straining our ears to hear if it¡¯s coming from the lounge room or next door. Through the thin plaster, I hear Jackson groan Selena¡¯s name and her moan in response. OH MY GOD! My poor couch! I don¡¯t think they realize how loud they¡¯re being.


    Thump.


    Thump. Thump. Thump.


    Thump.


    The thumping and the moaning goes on for ages, preventing me from falling asleep. After twenty minutes Seth managed to fall asleep. He seems used to the off-putting noises. Not me. I lie awake until the sun barely seeps around the edges of the curtain. Hours. I¡¯m certain they fucked for hours and now they¡¯re both satisfied and sleeping it off. Meanwhile, I¡¯m still awake, still sexually frustrated and I leave for Concord tonight.


    Great.


    Chapter Twelve


    It¡¯s well past eleven p.m. when I wake up. Seth is still sleeping soundly beside me and I don¡¯t move, instead I watch him for a little while. My white sheets are rolled down to his hips, exposing all of his muscles and his tattoos. I¡¯ve never wanted a tattoo. They¡¯ve always seemed so... dirty to me, but they compliment Seth. His face is free of any extreme emotion, he looks so peaceful and I want to touch his beautiful face, but don¡¯t. I¡¯d hate to wake him.


    I can feel my bladder tighten inside me. I really need to pee, but there¡¯s no way I¡¯m leaving this room by myself. I don¡¯t want to see Jackson and Selena all tangled together in a big ball of recent sex on my couch. Squeezing my legs together, I reach under my bed and pull out my laptop. I power it on and soon I¡¯m staring at the wallpaper of Blade and I. I really need to change it¡­ and I do. I change it to a picture of a kitten trying to eat a huge ball of wool. It¡¯s cute.


    I switched on my laptop so I can keep writing my short story, but the need to pee is too strong and I can¡¯t think about anything else. I close the lid and slide it back under my bed. I¡¯m going to have to be brave and leave my room. I pull Seth¡¯s shirt over my bare skin and my feet abandon the warm carpet as I step onto the cold wood floor. On my tip toes, I slowly make my way to the toilet. I keep my eyes in front of me at all times, not daring to let them wander toward the lounge room. After I pee, I feel a million pounds lighter and when I enter my room Seth¡¯s adorable sleepy face blinks at me.


    ¡°Do you know what time it is?¡± He points at my white alarm clock.


    ¡°Yeah... we overslept.¡±


    He runs his large hands over his face and then through his hair. ¡°Darryl is going to kill me. I missed training.¡±


    I hear a large thud come from the lounge room and then heavy footsteps. Jackson runs into our room, buttoning his jeans. ¡°Shit, Seth!¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Seth groans, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed and grabbing his jeans. He pulls his phone out of the back pocket and curses under his breath. He puts it to his ear.


    ¡°Yeah, Darryl¡ª I know. Yes. Alright.¡±


    He drops his phone to the floor and falls backward on the bed.


    ¡°What¡¯d he say?¡± Jackson asks, raking his fingers through his hair.


    ¡°Management is pissed and I have to do double tonight before we leave for Concord.¡±


    ¡°Easy enough.¡± Jackson shrugs and I frown.


    Easy enough for who? Seth will be the one doing all the work.


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m starving, you guys wanna¡¯ grab some breakfast?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, give us a few minutes.¡±


    Jackson leaves the room and closes the door behind him.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I say, even though going out wasn¡¯t my idea. At all.


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault.¡± He replies, pulling himself up to a sitting position. His eyes rake me in his t-shirt and he tugs on the base of it, drawing me closer. ¡°You look good in my shirt.¡±


    I smile as he spins me, pushing me down on my back. His hands caress my hip and then move up to my breasts, lifting the shirt as he goes. His mouth claims me and his tongue glides against my lips. I open my mouth to him and he touches me and tastes me with his tongue. Soon, his mouth falls from mine as he becomes distracted by the sight of my breasts. He takes my nipple in his mouth and I shudder at the feeling.


    ¡°Seth...¡± I moan breathlessly.


    ¡°Mm?¡±


    ¡°I thought you can¡¯t?¡±


    His lips release my nipple to kiss me all over my chest. He makes a light trail down the center of my body, stopping at my belly button. ¡°I can¡¯t, but you can.¡±


    My hands push through his hair, and I let his soft strands glide between my fingertips. Seth looks up at me, smiling his smile and making my stomach clench. His eyes are still locked with mine as he reaches out with his tongue, running the warm edge of it along my panty line. I shiver and he grins as both his hands caress each side of my thigh before hooking under the hem of the fabric of my underwear and pulling them off me. I tense as his hand slides down my leg, and then curls around my knee. My breath catches in my throat as he lifts my leg, laying it over his shoulder. His chocolate eyes darken and remain on my face.


    ¡°Relax.¡± He growls between my thighs.


    A thick finger slides between my moist folds and I moan as quietly as I can. His fingers push into me and curl up, forcing air from my lungs. He lowers his mouth and as soon as his tongue touches my center... I¡¯m lost.


    The waiter brings our breakfast and he looks at us strangely because it¡¯s twelve thirty in the afternoon. Selena and Jackson ordered an eggs Benedict plate each and I ordered muesli, yogurt and mixed berries. Breakfast has always seemed to be a fruity/dairy thing for me. Seth¡¯s huge plate of steak, salad and hard-boiled eggs is set down on the table and I turn my nose up at it. How anyone can eat meat before one p.m. is beyond me.


    ¡°Your skin looks amazing, Olivia. You¡¯re glowing. Are you using those creams I got you?¡±


    I quickly shovel blueberries and muesli into my mouth to buy myself some time. I haven¡¯t told Selena that Seth and I have had sex. A little blueberry juice drops onto my caramel sweater. Damn it. I glance at Seth who watches me from under his brow, smiling that fucking smile. Of course he¡¯ll gladly take the credit for my glow. I fight back my own nervous smile and swallow my food.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not using those creams. I just feel good.¡±


    Her green eyes flick between Seth and I and then they widen. Shit. She¡¯s put two and two together and she¡¯s going to kick my ass. Seth isn¡¯t even trying to hide it. He sits before me in the shirt he licked me in and it¡¯s rumpled and he doesn¡¯t care¡ªnot in the slightest. I can feel heat climb into my cheeks and I drop my gaze back down to my breakfast. I really don¡¯t want to talk about my sex life over breakfast¡ªor lunch, technically.


    ¡°Hey, Olivia.¡± Blade¡¯s voice makes me turn around in my chair.


    Oh joy.


    I shade my eyes from the sun. ¡°Blade?¡±


    I¡¯m unnerved when my gaze falls onto his chest and I see we¡¯re wearing the same colored sweater. What are the odds?


    ¡°Can I talk to you for a minute?¡± He asks, glancing down at my sweater and smirking.


    ¡°We¡¯re having breakfast.¡± Selena protests while pulling on my wrist.


    ¡°I can see that.¡± He deadpans. ¡°It¡¯ll only take a second, I promise.¡±


    I look back at the table. Seth¡¯s eyes are narrowed in on Blade, Selena is glaring at me and Jackson is happily eating his food, ignoring everything that¡¯s going on around him. I slide my chair back and Blade¡¯s arm hooks around mine as he directs me away from the table. When he¡¯s sure we¡¯re out of ear shot, he speaks.


    ¡°I spoke to your dad. Are you really going to Concord?¡±


    I nod. ¡°Yeah, we leave today.¡±


    ¡°Olly, I don¡¯t think¡ª¡±


    ¡°Please tell me you didn¡¯t track me down to beg me not to leave town with Seth. It¡¯s only two nights.¡±


    He raises his palms at me in surrender. ¡°I didn¡¯t track you down. I ran into you by chance, I swear. Anyway, that¡¯s not why I want to talk to you.¡±


    I fold my arms over my chest. ¡°Then what do you want?¡±


    He holds a little red box out in front of him. I stare at it, but I don¡¯t take it from his hands. ¡°What the hell is that?¡±


    ¡°Open it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not opening it.¡±


    He exhales and grabs my hand. He puts the velvet box inside it and steps away from me.


    ¡°Open it when I¡¯m not around then.¡± He pulls me into a hug and I stiffen under him. Seth is probably fuming right about now. Without another word Blade walks away from me, crosses the road and climbs into his white car. I drag my gaze from Blade¡¯s car to the table. Every single one of their eyes is on me and the little red box in my hand. My sneakers scuff against the concrete as I slowly make my way back to the table.


    ¡°What the fuck is that?¡± Selena asks oh-so elegantly.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know I haven¡¯t opened it.¡± I drop into my chair.


    ¡°So open it.¡± She demands.


    ¡°I really don¡¯t want to. I¡¯m going to put it in his mailbox later. He wouldn¡¯t take it back.¡±


    ¡°I think I know what it is.¡± Selena mutters. ¡°Manipulative prick.¡±


    I nod. I do too¡­ it¡¯s a ring. Months ago, I told Blade I thought I¡¯d be engaged or married by now¡ªmaybe even pregnant. He laughed at me and told me I was way too young for that. I told Selena about it that very same day.


    I have no idea what to think about the ring. He didn¡¯t specifically say it¡¯s for marriage or whatever. Even if it was, that option is so far removed with him it¡¯s not even funny. I don¡¯t want to date him let alone marry him. I finally look at Seth. He¡¯s leaning to the side in his chair, rubbing a finger along his bottom lip¡ªclearly in thought.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what it is.¡± I say to Selena. ¡°I don¡¯t want it.¡±


    I shove the box into my handbag and continue to eat my breakfast.


    ¡°Burn that sweater when you get home.¡± Jackson laughs, shoving toast into his mouth.

 Page 24

    He found it very funny, but as far as everyone else is concerned the happy breakfast we had before was gone. We ate in silence, making small talk wherever they deemed necessary.Advertisement


    Once it¡¯s over, Seth drives us home and I make it just in time for the mechanic. Selena stays to keep me company, but Jackson and Seth have to leave to prepare for Concord tonight. Seth asks Selena if she wants to come to Concord and she completely flips out, screaming yes and kissing Jackson with everything she has.


    While the mechanic works on my car, Selena helps me choose and appropriate outfit for tonight. I pull out a pair of black formal pants and a white silk top, but Selena tosses them to the side.


    ¡°You can¡¯t play sophisticated and hard to get now that he¡¯s had you. You have to play sexy and unforgettable to keep him.¡±


    I scoff. ¡°Selena, you are¡ª¡±


    She raises her hand. ¡°Shoosh, you. I know exactly what I¡¯m talking about.¡±


    Selena pushes me aside and leans into my wardrobe, in seconds she produces a short, black dress. ¡°Why is this at the back of your closet and not the front?¡±


    Because Blade bought it for me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I lie. ¡°But I¡¯m not wearing it.¡±


    It really is a gorgeous dress. The lacy fabric splices off the shoulder, styled with short lace sleeves and it¡¯s a slim fit. Blade has an obsession with lace and I have no idea why.


    ¡°It¡¯s sexy.¡± States Selena, holding it out in front of her.


    I rake my hands over my face. ¡°Fine. Throw it in.¡±


    She squeals and puts my dress inside my travel bag. Our trip to Concord is only tonight and tomorrow night so there¡¯s no need to pack heavy. I laugh once at the thought of trying to tell that to Selena.


    There¡¯s a knock on my door and I go to meet the mechanic. He hands me an invoice and nods his head before leaving. I look at the yellow slip. It says there was a problem with my alternator, which prevented my car from turning on. Thankfully he fixed it and my car is ready to go. Selena tears from my house with my travel bag in her hands.


    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go. I need time to go through my closet! I¡¯ll meet you in the car.¡±


    Before I lock the door behind me, I remember I need to call Mason to let him know I won¡¯t be at work Tuesday or Wednesday. I dial his number and he answers immediately.


    ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°Mason, hi. It¡¯s Olivia. I¡¯m calling to let you know that I won¡¯t be able to make work on Tuesday or Wednesday...¡±


    He exhales. ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll get someone to cover you. Is everything okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, yeah I¡¯m just not going to be in town until late Wednesday night.¡±


    ¡°Let me guess, you¡¯re going out of town with Seth.¡±


    I shut my door and lock it behind me. ¡°And Selena.¡±


    ¡°Olivia, did you learn nothing from Saturday? Seth obviously isn¡¯t the kind of guy that can be there for you. What happens when he finds someone else? I don¡¯t want you to go through the same things again. You deserve better.¡±


    ¡°I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself. I¡¯ll see you Thursday.¡± I hang up on him and climb into my car.


    ¡°Man,¡± I blow air out of my cheeks. ¡°I¡¯m so sick of people sticking their nose into my business.¡±


    I drop my phone into the cup holder next to me and turn the car on. I smile widely when it purrs to life.


    ¡°Well then you¡¯re going to hate what I have to say next.¡±


    I pull out of my driveway and head in the direction of Selena¡¯s house.


    ¡°When did you and Seth start having sex?¡±


    ¡°Saturday.¡± I reply straight out, ignoring the way she picks at her nails.


    ¡°And when were you going to tell me?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°At some point. We haven¡¯t had sex since then.¡±


    She drops her hands into her lap. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because he can¡¯t before a fight, apparently.¡±


    Selena laughs to herself. ¡°That must suck.¡±


    I don¡¯t comment because it does suck. It sucks hard.


    ¡°What happened to waiting with Jackson? Weren¡¯t you meant to have dinner first?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but the opportunity arose last night and I took it.¡±


    ¡°Right, thanks for that.¡±


    Her hands cover the red flush that spreads over her cheeks. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, O. I didn¡¯t think we were that loud.¡±


    ¡°You were.¡± I¡¯m smiling and I can feel a laugh creep up my throat.


    The more I try not to laugh, the faster it rises and I end up laughing loudly almost all the way to Selena¡¯s house.


    ¡°It¡¯s so hilarious.¡± She mocks me, flipping me off.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I can¡¯t believe you had sex on my couch.¡± Tears drop from my eyes. ¡°Like, who does that?¡±


    I don¡¯t know why I find it so hilarious, but I do. Maybe it¡¯s the fact they were so shameless about it.


    ¡°I do.¡± She states, crossing her arms. ¡°I live on the edge.¡±


    I pull up in front of Selena¡¯s big house. Big is an understatement. Her house is gigantic¡ªmuch too big for only to people to live in. As a teenager, Selena¡¯s house was my haven. I never wanted to leave¡ªit¡¯s also the place I lost my virginity to Blade. A memory I¡¯m more than ready to forget. Selena still lives with her daddy and she loves it. He gives her money, keeps the fridge full and doesn¡¯t care what she does as long as she¡¯s responsible. I remind her often that she needs to start living on her own two feet, but she doesn¡¯t care. She likes where she is.


    When I get out of the car, I text Seth Selena¡¯s home address. I don¡¯t know when he¡¯ll be here, but I know it¡¯s soon and I hope Selena can pack quickly. I follow Selena in through the huge double wooden doors and into the foyer. We quickly make our way up the winding staircase and the third door on the left is her room. She¡¯s changed it around a bit since I was last here. The wooden king size bed is on a small raise to the left of the room, shrouded in sheer curtains of every color. In the center of the room are two white couches that sit upon brown shaggy rugs and in the middle of that is a large glass coffee table. None of the colors in her room match, making everything seem out of place, but at the same time... it looks awesome.


    ¡°Remind me why I don¡¯t live here?¡± I gasp, pushing past her and into the room.


    She puts on her best ¡®Olivia¡¯ voice. ¡°Because you¡¯re an adult and you like living on your own two feet.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t sound nearly as fun when you say it like that.¡± I say, dropping into one of the couches and running my hands over its leather surface.


    Selena runs into her walk in wardrobe and returns with a simple pair of tight black jeans and a grey sweater in her hands. ¡°What do you think of this?¡±


    I stare wide-eyed at her. ¡°You chastised me for wanting to wear silk and you want to wear denim?¡±


    Her gaze falters and she flops into the other couch with a huff.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I ask, leaning forward. ¡°If you want to wear the denim, who am I to stop you?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that...¡± She tugs at the tag at the back of the jeans. ¡°I overheard Jackson telling his friend last night that he thinks I overdo it sometimes.¡±


    ¡°I can vouch for that.¡± I chuckle, wiggling my eyebrows.


    Selena launches her sweater at me and the soft fabric collides with my face before dropping to my lap. ¡°I¡¯m not talking about that! I¡¯m talking about my clothes, my make-up and probably my hair, too.¡±


    I lean back against the white leather. ¡°Are you sure? Maybe you miss heard him?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡± She inches forward. ¡°Make me like you¡ªjust for the next two days and I¡¯ll show him I can be normal.¡±


    Wow. Selena Graham wants fashion advice from me? Did hell just freeze over?


    ¡°Honestly, there isn¡¯t much to it. Dress for comfort, not to impress. Wear the skinny jeans, but not this God awful sweater. Color is key.¡±


    She scowls at me. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m doing this for a boy.¡±


    ¡°He must be special.¡±


    I see a pink hue spread across her chest and up her neck.


    ¡°Whatever.¡± She shrugs and climbs to her feet.


    I smile knowingly at her. She has never cared what a boy thought about her before Jackson. I know she cares about him more than she lets on.


    Selena packs a small travel bag with two pairs of jeans, two white spaghetti straps, one beige cardigan and two sweaters. One is a pretty, light-blue and the other is a strange shade of pink. On top of her clothes she throws in a hair straightener and a make-up bag smaller than mine. She really is trying to make a statement.


    ¡°Let¡¯s wait downstairs.¡± She says after changing into a black track suit. ¡°If I stay in this room any longer I¡¯m going to regress.¡±


    I grab Selena by the wrist and drag her from her room. As our feet touch the marble tiles of the foyer a loud ring echoes through the house. Selena slides her handbag up her arm and stuff her hands into the pockets of her pants. I can tell wearing a track suit out of the house is going to kill her.


    ¡°I feel like an idiot.¡± She grumbles.


    ¡°Relax, you look fine.¡±


    I open the door to Jackson and Seth. They¡¯ve changed their clothes, too. Jackson wears a loose pair of drawstring pants and a t-shirt. He looks comfortable, but Seth looked amazing in his black hooded jacket and loose jeans. It isn¡¯t open and exposing his midsection like it had when we ran into each other at the Steakhouse, but it still made my mouth water nonetheless. Jackson eyes Selena curiously. ¡°Are you feeling alright?¡±


    Seth and I make eye contact and he gives me a tight smile. He¡¯s still upset about this morning. I can see it in his eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sick.¡± Selena snaps. ¡°I¡¯m comfortable.¡±


    Jackson and I bite our lips against a laugh, even Seth chuckles. He¡¯s met Selena enough times to know exactly what kind of girl she is. She dresses to impress, anything less is beneath her.


    She flicks her long blonde hair over her shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m wearing a tracksuit, big deal. You¡¯re all staring at me like I¡¯m some kind of freak with two heads.¡±


    She pushes her way past Seth and Jackson and heads out to the car. Jackson follows closely behind, squeezing her bum and she swats him away before planting a kiss on his cheek. I smile, they make the perfect couple. Seth turns from me, but I grab his arm¡ªI try to grab his arm, but it¡¯s too dam thick to fit in my hand.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a little tired from training, other than that, I¡¯m okay.¡±


    I close Selena¡¯s freakishly huge door behind me and turn back to Seth. ¡°I just thought that maybe you¡¯re angry at me or something¡ªwhich I totally understand. I know I ruined breakfast because Blade showed up and all of that, but I didn¡¯t know¡ª¡±


    Seth reaches out for me and he pulls me into him. His mouth descends upon mine and he¡¯s so warm. I just want to curl up against him and sleep. Cool air caresses my lips when he pulls away and I blink at him, completely dazed.


    ¡°What was that for?¡±


    A lock of my hair blows onto my face and his fingers swipe it away. ¡°Because I missed you.¡±


    ¡°You missed me?¡± I couldn¡¯t keep the skeptical tone from my voice.


    He smiles. ¡°What? I¡¯m capable of missing someone, Olivia. I¡¯m not completely shut off from my emotions.¡±


    His arms still hold me against him and the need to have him as close to me as I can burns deep inside. ¡°I know... I just never expected to hear words like that come from someone like you.¡±


    His hands slip away from me and his smile melts into a straight, impassive line. ¡°Someone like me?¡±


    Oh shit. Wrong choice of words. ¡°You know what I mean. You¡¯re you and you don¡¯t really miss girls you sleep with.¡±


    ¡°I thought we clarified that you mean more to me than that?¡±


    Did we? I mean, he said I was his, but that doesn¡¯t really mean anything. He might not care for titles, but I do. Sex with Seth is great¡ªbeyond great¡ªit¡¯s absolutely mind blowing, but eventually I¡¯m going to want a deeper relationship. Sure, he told me that his dad died and that he slept with Mason¡¯s wife, but he refuses to say anything about his mom or sister¡ªI don¡¯t even know their names. He doesn¡¯t talk about his time in Seattle or anything. I don¡¯t know a thing about him, yet he knows so much about me. He knows Blade and Selena. He¡¯s met both my parents and he¡¯s been to my house. The odds stack against his words and I have to play it safe because I do care about him. I like him¡ªmore than a friend and I need to be careful because it doesn¡¯t look like I¡¯m going to be in his life for too long.


    ¡°I fall into the ¡®shit you care about¡¯ portion, I know, but...¡± I shake my head. ¡°Look, let¡¯s just go to Concord, have fun and then sort things out when we come back because I can¡¯t keep playing games. It¡¯s about time I sort my life out.¡±


    I¡¯m unnerved as his tense face studies my features. I know I probably ruined his trip, but I said it and now it¡¯s too late to take it back. I just have to keep reminding myself that I¡¯m going to Concord for Dad, to keep an eye on him and his blood pressure levels, not to get myself in deeper with Seth.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Dad?¡± I ask him, changing the subject and acting like the conversation we just had didn¡¯t take place.


    ¡°He¡¯s riding with Darryl and the team.¡±


    ¡°Speaking of the team, what exactly does Jackson do?¡±

 Page 25

    Seth stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets. ¡°He¡¯s my best friend. He helps me keep my head on track.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s your Selena.¡± I state, smiling at him.Advertisement


    He laughs under his breath, returning my smile with one of his own. ¡°No. Jackson helps me keep my head screwed on and clear, Selena does the complete opposite to you.¡±


    I laugh because it¡¯s true. Selena lives so carefree and I envy her.


    I climb into the back seat with Selena. She looks at me and I almost choke on a laugh. There¡¯s a sticky line of lip gloss running from her lips to the top of her cheekbone. I want to ask how it made it that far up her face, but decide against it. I don¡¯t care for the details. I wipe my thumb along my cheek, trying to show her there¡¯s something on her face, but she doesn¡¯t understand what I¡¯m trying to say. After three tries, I give up.


    ¡°There¡¯s lip gloss spread across your face.¡± I half groan, half giggle.


    The same pink flush that spread over her complexion in her bedroom makes a return and she uses the sleeve of her jacket to wipe it off.


    ¡°Better.¡± I tell her when her skin isn¡¯t shiny anymore.


    ¡°How long are we going to be driving for?¡± Selena asks Jackson who seems to enjoy being behind the wheel.


    ¡°Just under two hours, it depends on traffic.¡±


    Concord, New Hampshire isn¡¯t that far from Portland, Maine, but if someone decides to crash on the highway, God knows how long it¡¯ll take.


    Jackson reaches for the radio and it tunes to a rock station. As soon as the tires hit the highway, Selena¡¯s eyes close and she falls asleep. I rest my head against her shoulder. A nap sounds good and I¡¯m about to fall asleep when the gentle rock music cuts off and distinct phone ringing echoes through the car. I straighten myself, trying to figure out what the hell the noise is and I see ¡®MOM¡¯ written across the small screen in the center of the dashboard. Jackson glances sideways at Seth. Seth¡¯s finger taps his leg as he contemplates answering it. After five or six rings, he leans forward and hits ignore. The music starts up again.


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to talk to your mom?¡± I ask, even though I know it¡¯s best to mind my own business.


    ¡°It¡¯s a long story, Olivia.¡± Jackson answers for him. ¡°He doesn¡¯t need to talk to her right now.¡±


    The way he spits ¡®her¡¯ makes me lean closer. ¡°Maybe she wants to wish him luck.¡±


    Seth laughs once and turns his attention out the window. Jackson¡¯s jaw clenches and his knuckles go white as he squeezes the steering wheel. I¡¯ve hit a sore subject.


    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ll mind my own business.¡± I mumble, sitting back against my seat.


    Seth turns off the music and speaks over his shoulder. ¡°My mother doesn¡¯t want to wish me luck. She¡¯s doesn¡¯t care about anyone but herself. She¡¯ll say whatever she can to get inside my head and I don¡¯t need to deal with her shit right now.¡±


    He turns the music back on, leaving me staring at the side of his face. He knows I¡¯m watching him, I can tell by the way his jaw muscles flex uncomfortably. Suddenly, I¡¯m frustrated that he seems so bothered by his mom¡¯s phone call. I don¡¯t think it¡¯s as simple as ¡®she¡¯s a bitch¡¯. There¡¯s more to it. My need to know attitude eats at me, but I know approaching Seth with any questions about his family sends him into angry mode and I can¡¯t piss him off this close to a fight. I rest my head back against Selena¡¯s shoulder and close my eyes. I want her to wake up so she can clear the awkward, frustrated tension that¡¯s floating around the car.


    We pull up outside a fancy hotel in Concord. Darryl, my father and two others are already here. When they see our car, they come straight over. Dad opens my door before the car comes to a complete stop and pulls me into a hug.


    ¡°I knew you¡¯d come.¡± He laughs and I can¡¯t help but smile up at him. Being in this environment with Seth and the others makes him the happiest I¡¯ve ever seen him. It warms my heart to know he¡¯s getting everything he wants out of life. He releases me as his phone rings.


    ¡°It¡¯s your mother.¡± He rolls his eyes. ¡°I better take this.¡±


    He walks away and I can feel Seth press slightly against my back. My whole body stands to attention.


    ¡°He¡¯s so happy.¡± I sigh.


    ¡°I know.¡±


    I turn around and he¡¯s so close to me. I can smell his cologne and feel the warmth that radiates from him. I look up and meet his dark, alluring eyes.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell him I¡¯m here to keep an eye on him. He¡¯ll be happier if he thinks I¡¯m here solely for you.¡± I tell Seth.


    That¡¯s another thing that kills me. If things don¡¯t work out between Seth and I, if we decide to end the fun and go our separate ways, my dad is going to be heartbroken. Dad looks up to Seth. He represents everything my dad loves.


    ¡°I won¡¯t tell him, but you have to do something for me.¡± He rakes his teeth across his bottom lip and then runs his tongue along it¡ªthe same tongue that ran along my flesh this morning. I shiver at the thought and his eyes flare with pleasure.


    ¡°What do you want me to do?¡± The thought of his answer makes my insides tighten.


    ¡°Kiss me.¡±


    He smiles at my confused expression and I glance awkwardly around us. ¡°Now?¡±


    ¡°Now is as good a time as ever.¡±


    His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me even closer so our bodies are pressed hard against each other. I don¡¯t think he¡¯s actually giving me a choice. His head angles downward, towards mine and I cautiously wrap my hands around his neck. His skin is warm and he doesn¡¯t flinch at my cool fingertips. Our lips touch and I feel a spark go through my entire body, embarrassingly I gasp and pull back. I stare into Seth¡¯s eyes wondering if he felt it too, but all I see is that same cocky gleam that I adore so much. He brings his mouth to my ear and his warm breath sends heat between my legs. ¡°You want me so badly.¡±


    I try to shake my head, but my neck won¡¯t let me. I did want him. I want to do what we did on Saturday and I want to do it now. He knew, too. The longer I look at him the cockier his smile becomes. His firm lips, touch my cheek and he lets me go. When I turn back to my father, he¡¯s talking to another group of guys and I recognize the leader as Don Russell. Don¡¯s eyes are on Seth and I and he¡¯s glaring. I look at Seth.


    ¡°That¡¯s why you wanted me to kiss you? So Don could see?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s been staring at you since we got out of the car.¡± He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips. ¡°I¡¯m just making a statement.¡±


    ¡°No, you¡¯re declaring open season on me.¡±


    I stand in the corner of Seth¡¯s room while two officials assess his hand wraps. I try to focus on what the two men are saying, but I can¡¯t ignore the way Seth has been staring at me since I entered the room. His eyes are as dark as midnight, flashing dangerously at me from several feet away. They command attention, keeping me trapped in his gaze and it¡¯s distracting. I know my dress is nice, but the way Seth looks at me with heavy, lust-filled eyes makes me feel like I¡¯m standing here naked. He¡¯s not touching me, just watching and I¡¯m already beyond aroused. His chest moves quickly and all I want to do is touch him to help ease his anxiety.


    ¡°Okay, Seth.¡± The official announces, packing up his mini toolbox. ¡°You¡¯re all set. Good luck.¡±


    The two officials stride from the room in their white uniforms.


    ¡°Leave us alone.¡± Seth orders his team¡ªjust like last time.


    When the door closes behind them, I Instinctively move toward him and he mirrors my movements, his motions becoming almost predatory with every step. My insides clench and I brace for impact as his mouth slams onto mine and he lifts me onto the bench. He¡¯s between my legs in the next heartbeat, his tongue desperately tasting me. His clothed hands pull my dress up over my hips, exposing my black, lace panties. Hunger, deep and primitive rushes through me as he tugs his pants down and his long, hard length springs out. It eagerly presses against my inner thigh and I quiver as he pulls my underwear to the side. One hand wraps around my waist, the other clasps underneath my thigh and with one swift thrust he¡¯s deep inside me, filling me completely.


    ¡°Oh God!¡± I moan into his mouth as I stretch to accommodate him.


    My back arches and I plant my hands on the cool bench beside me to gain stability. I feel my walls clench him tightly and he leans into me. His tongue glides across my collar bone and then comes up to dip inside my mouth, eliciting a moan from me.


    ¡°You look so fucking good.¡± He breathes, moving his hips harder and faster into me.


    ¡°You can¡¯t...¡± I whisper breathlessly, clinging tightly to his sides. ¡°You can¡¯t do this before a fight.¡±


    ¡°I know, but you look so sexy.¡± He gasps loudly and thrusts deeper. ¡°I had to be in you.¡±


    His hand grips my hip as he anchors me to the bench. His thrusts are quick and hard, and I bite my bottom lip against the cries threatening to spill out of me. My lip aches. I¡¯m biting with enough pressure to draw blood.


    Every muscle in Seth¡¯s body seems clenched in an effort to stay in control and he¡¯s gazing down at me through heavy, lust-laden lids. His jaw is slack with the intensity of his pleasure and I don¡¯t want him to stop. Fuck. I really don¡¯t want him to stop, but he needs all of the testosterone he can get. Reluctantly, I push against his stomach with my fists, slowing his thrusting speed. When he slows, I shift my hips backward so he falls out of me. He groans, resting his forehead against mine.


    ¡°We¡¯re continuing this the moment my fight is over.¡± He pants, forcing his tongue back into my mouth.


    His hands rake through my hair, urging my lips against his and when he pulls away, I say the only thing I can say. ¡°I hope so.¡±


    Half-heartedly, Seth steps back giving me room to slide off the bench and adjust my dress while he pulls his shorts up. Everything I felt when he was inside me still flares relentlessly and I can tell, just by looking at his face, that if I don¡¯t get out of here now, we¡¯ll end up all over each other again.


    ¡°Good luck.¡± I say, walking toward the door.


    When I open it, the team members outside are none the wiser. They have absolutely no idea what happened seconds ago on the other side of that thin, wooden door. Thankfully, Dad prefers to sit in the crowd with me and not in the room with Seth. I keep my head down as I make my way down the concrete walkway. I can hear the crowd now and the thought of being out of this blood and sweat smelling hallway made me feel better... until Don Russell steps out of his room and directly into my path. Instantly, the wetness between my legs dries up and I fight the urge to scowl.


    ¡°Really? Again?¡± I groan, trying to step around him, but he doesn¡¯t let me.


    I drag my gaze from his lower stomach to his face. Blood splatters his chest and he¡¯s covered in a layer of oily sweat. The eyes of dragon tattoo that curls around his bicep glistens at me.


    ¡°What can I say? I¡¯m attracted to pretty things.¡±


    I roll my eyes. ¡°Yeah, okay pal.¡±


    I try to step around his large frame again, but his blood covered arm shoots outwards and I back away, careful not to get any on my dress.


    ¡°Back off, Don.¡± I growl, narrowing my eyes at him.


    His lips curl into a smirk. ¡°I like how you say my name. It¡¯s passionate.¡±


    ¡°You mistake my disgust for passion.¡±


    He leans into me and I swear I can smell the coppery scent of his opponent¡¯s blood on his breath.


    ¡°So what¡¯s the deal with you two, hm? In Portland he claimed you weren¡¯t his, but now he¡¯s singing a different tune.¡±


    His green eyes shimmer with determination and I shudder. There¡¯s no way I could ever choose this animal over Seth.


    ¡°I am his.¡± The words that roll of my lips thrill me, but I don¡¯t let it show. ¡°I¡¯m sorry your girlfriend cheated on you with Seth.¡± He flinches. ¡°Yeah, I know all about it and maybe that¡¯s why you¡¯re being so disrespectful to me. Whatever the reason, know this; I¡¯m not like that girl. I¡¯m not interested in you. I will never be interested in you and you are out of your God damn mind if you think I¡¯d ever choose you over Seth.¡±


    He blinks at me like I¡¯ve said something in another language. A few more seconds and his confused expression melts into a wolfish grin. ¡°We¡¯ll see. If Seth wins tonight, he¡¯ll be fighting in Boston and if he wins that, he¡¯ll be fighting me in Las Vegas for the amateur championship. I¡¯ve been waiting a long time to punch in his pretty face.¡± He steps closer and my spine aches as I strain to lean away from him. ¡°And when I do, you¡¯ll realize you need a real man, not a boy.¡±


    My face scrunches and I use two fingers to pat his slick, wet shoulder. ¡°Whatever helps you sleep at night.¡±


    His thin lips contort into a snarl. I¡¯ve pissed him off¡ªcrap. I open my mouth to excuse myself, but Seth¡¯s intro music cuts off my words. I turn to back to see him coming out of his door and I feel Don hovering too close to my backside. As he draws nearer, I expect him to keep walking past¡ªhis intro song is playing after all, but his gloved hand shoots out, taking me by the wrist. He pulls me next to him. His grasp is possessive and commanding as he tucks me under his arm, pinning me to his side. Seth smirks at Don, dragging me along beside him. The closer we get to the door, the harder I dig my heels in. I can¡¯t go out there with Seth. Sensing my unease, Seth stops before the double doors and Jackson and Darryl get up in his ear.


    ¡°What are you doing? Get out there!¡± They yell, but he doesn''t hear them.

 Page 26

    He pulls his mouth piece out and leans in to my ear. ¡°Did he hurt you?¡± He shouts over the music and I shake my head.Advertisement


    With a swift nod, he gives me to Darryl who passes me off to Jackson. I frown, feeling like a damn pass the parcel. The doors open and Seth puts his black guard back into his mouth and bounces on his toes before storming down the aisle to the ring. Jackson ushers me along beside him and I freeze when eyes from the crowd settle on me. They¡¯re still cheering and whooping, so I guess that¡¯s a good sign. I drop my sight to the floor as Jackson walks me along the front of the room behind Seth. When I see an opening near Dad and Selena, I take it. I speed walk all the way to my seat and sit down. My stomach is in knots. Being watched by so many people is unnerving.


    ¡°I was wondering when you were coming back.¡± Dad chuckles.


    Selena hands him a twenty dollar bill and I arch an eyebrow at her.


    ¡°He said you were with Seth, I bet him twenty dollars that you were in the toilet throwing up.¡±


    ¡°Gee, thanks.¡±


    She shrugs her shoulders and I glance around the crowd. There are so many ¡®Team Seth¡¯ signs and other cards with naughty comments on them. One in particular caught my eye. It¡¯s a huge square piece of cardboard painted a fluorescent orange and in big black letters it says: ¡®Pound me, Seth.¡¯


    Selena must have seen it too because her elbows dig into my ribs and she points it out, laughing like a school girl who has read the word ¡®cock¡¯ for the first time. I giggle, not because I find it funny, but because women actually have the guts to put themselves out there like that. When Seth is in the ring and he shrugs out of his hoodie, Dad launches himself to his feet. He fist pumps and stomps his feet. He¡¯s yelling words of encouragement and all I can think of is how to stop him. All that excitement can¡¯t be too good on his heart. I tug on his hand and he sits back down in his seat.


    ¡°I bet I can watch the fight longer than you can stay in your seat.¡± I challenge him.


    His brows draw together curiously. ¡°How much?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll bet you twenty dollars. You stay in your seat and I¡¯ll watch the fight. The first to rise out of their chair or close their eyes loses.¡±


    My dad is a very competitive man and I know without a doubt he¡¯ll take the bet.


    ¡°Done.¡±


    We shake hands and Seth¡¯s music turns off.


    ¡°And nooow, fighting out of the blue corner, hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, Adam Piiiine!¡±


    The announcer rattles off names of sponsors and then hands it over to the referee. He calls them to the center of the ring.


    ¡°As usual, I want a good clean fight and I won¡¯t tolerate anything less. Touch gloves.¡±


    They touch gloves and the referee sends them to their corners. The referee claps his hands and the two fighters run to the middle of the ring. Adam isn¡¯t afraid to throw the first punch and he comes out swinging. Seth manages to dodge them all and dropping low slamming his fists into Adam¡¯s ribs. I can hear the air expel from his lungs every time Seth¡¯s fists make contact. My chest aches and I try to force as much air into my lungs as I can. Seth bounces on his toes, ducking and dodging. Catching a break, Adam takes a step back to catch his breath. His eyes are wide and every now and then they flick over the crowd. He¡¯s scared and Seth knows it too, I can tell by the way his eyes narrow confidently in on him. Knowing he can¡¯t stand toe to toe with Seth, Adam goes for Seth¡¯s legs. With a loud thud, Seth drops to his knees and sprawls with his legs, countering the take down. Adam falls flat on his stomach, and Seth somehow wraps his arms around his neck and pulls. Immediately, Adam¡¯s face goes red, but he refuses to tap out. The red hue quickly turns blue and my hands fly up to my cheeks. Dad looks at me, but I haven¡¯t lost yet. My hands inch closer to my eyes as Seth squeezes harder. The referee gets in Adam¡¯s face. He¡¯s talking to him and Adam can barely shake his head. My heart slams against my ribs and the urge to vomit rises inside my stomach.


    ¡°Jesus...¡± I huff, raking my fingers through my hair.


    The crowd is chanting now. ¡°Tap. Tap. Tap.¡±


    Adam¡¯s eyes grow heavy and when I¡¯m certain he¡¯s either going to pass out or die, he hastily slaps the floor of the ring. Seth frees the guy from his grasp and jumps to his feet. Darryl, Jackson and two others tear into the ring to congratulate him. He takes the hugs and slaps on the back with modesty and stalks from the ring. His sexy, dark gaze seeks me out and when he spots me, he flicks his head in the direction of his room. Thankfully, Dad is chatting to someone on his left and doesn¡¯t see Seth¡¯s gesture. Selena on the other hand is shaking her head at me with the widest smile I¡¯ve ever seen her do.


    ¡°You still haven¡¯t told me the dirty details.¡±


    I slap her leg and she laughs loudly. I don¡¯t want Dad to hear her. He thinks we¡¯re dating which obviously entails sex, but that doesn¡¯t mean he has to hear about it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡± I inform her as I push my way onto the aisle and then up into the walkway to Seth¡¯s room. I feel Don¡¯s slimy gaze on me as I pass his room and I keep my eyes ahead of me, focusing only on the door with the ¡®MARC¡¯ sign. My hands are still trembling because of the fight and the door knob shakes in my hand as I turn it. When I step in, a thin sheet of steam envelops me and an electrical current zaps through my entire body when I realize he¡¯s in the shower. I close the door behind me and make my way to the open door of the shower room. My fingertips brush against the moist wood and as I¡¯m about to push the door open, the main door flies open and Seth¡¯s team (including Dad and Selena) pour in. They¡¯re singing and chanting and my arousal diminishes. It seems the sexual urges between Seth and I are going to have to wait. I step away from the door, moving to the far side of the room to stand beside Dad. When Seth emerges from the shower with a white towel hanging low on his hips, he¡¯s wearing the same disappointed expression as me. It¡¯s cute and I smile at him.


    He runs his fingers through his damp hair sending droplets of water in every direction.


    ¡°We¡¯re all going to Klein¡¯s Bar tonight!¡± Jackson announces. ¡°Get your dancing shoes on ladies and gentlemen.¡±


    He pulls Selena into an embrace, claiming her mouth with his. Are they together or do they have a similar arrangement to Seth and I?


    ¡°I¡¯m going to skip this one.¡± Seth replies, pulling a white t-shirt from his bag and slipping it on over his head. I almost pout when the top half of his body disappears under the fabric. His team (including my dad) protest his decision. If they get any louder I¡¯m convinced my eardrums are going to burst. Dad slings his arm over my shoulders and speaks above the rest. ¡°Olly needs a big strong man to protect her when we go out and God knows I¡¯m too old for that now.¡±


    I cringe at the use of my nickname and there¡¯s no way my dad is going clubbing. Not in his condition.


    ¡°Dad, you¡¯re not going out.¡±


    ¡°Like hell I¡¯m not. Your mom ruined my last outing. I¡¯m going to have fun tonight.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you and I go out instead, Rick? We won¡¯t go drinking or to any strip clubs, but I¡¯m sure we could find something else¡ªlike golf.¡± Seth suggests, pulling his jeans all the way up and buttoning them. He tosses the wet towel aside and air expels from my lips. I¡¯m shocked Seth would even offer to hang out with my dad. Dad loves golf and he loves Seth, I know he¡¯ll have a good time. I glance sideways at Dad and he¡¯s trying not to smile.


    ¡°You want to play golf? It¡¯s been so long since I¡¯ve held a club. When was it?¡± He asks me.


    ¡°Christmas three years ago.¡±


    The only reason I know that is because I caught Blade having sex with a cart girl that same day. Merry Christmas to me. I squash the thought from my mind. It belongs in the past.


    Everyone is watching my dad and Seth with a big ¡®what the fuck¡¯ expressions. I hope they aren¡¯t going to be pissed off. Seth is the only one that knows my dad has high blood pressure and I know alcohol is going to make it worse. Finally, Dad and Seth agree on golf and leave the room. The team turns their sights to me and I take a slight step back.


    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like that. I¡¯m just as shocked as you are.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s okay, we can party for him.¡± Jackson states. ¡°We¡¯ll go back to our rooms, change our clothes and meet in the lobby in an hour.¡±


    The team spills from the room, chanting and shouting. I follow closely behind them. The last thing I want is to be caught alone with Don again. I just can¡¯t stomach that guy. The fact he has me in his sights as a revenge fuck is disturbing enough. I picture Don¡¯s hands on me and a grimy shiver rolls down my spine. I imagine him to be relentless and brutal with that creepy dragon tattoo smiling at me the whole time. I¡¯d agree to have a threesome with Selena and Jackson before I¡¯d ever consider someone like Don Russell.


    We cram into Darryl¡¯s SVU and he drives us the short distance back to the hotel. There are a few security guards fending off some eager fans and when they see that Seth isn¡¯t with us, they turn around and go away.


    We step into the glamorous lobby. I¡¯d been too tired to appreciate it last night. It¡¯s open, allowing our large group to walk through without bumping into anyone. The deep red carpets and thick red marble columns with gold edging gives it such a sultry, sexy vibe. If I didn¡¯t know better, I¡¯d assume I¡¯m in some exotic country. We pile into the elevators and Selena and I are pressed firmly against the far wall.


    ¡°Are you coming out?¡± She asks me and I shake my head.


    ¡°I¡¯ll wait for Dad and Seth.¡±


    She nods and I can see she has so many questions for me about Dad and Seth, but doesn¡¯t want to ask in front of everyone¡ªwhich is a first for her and I appreciate it. As soon as we step out of the elevator and into the hallway the questions flow from her.


    ¡°So, are you and Seth together?¡±


    ¡°No, we¡¯re just having fun.¡±


    ¡°He chose to take your dad golfing over partying with his team... that seems pretty serious.¡±


    Selena pulls the room key from her handbag and unlocks our door.


    ¡°Dad has high blood pressure. Seth is spending time with him tonight so he doesn¡¯t drink or get too excited or stressed¡ªI don¡¯t know how it works.¡±


    I step into the living room of the suite and her brows furrow. ¡°Were you going to tell me if I didn¡¯t ask?¡±


    The bitterness in her tone didn¡¯t slip by me. She drops her handbag onto the arm of the couch and folds her arms over her chest.


    ¡°Yeah, I mean, I was going to at some point.¡± I step toward her. ¡°I didn¡¯t want you to worry.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve known your dad since I was a little girl. He¡¯s important to me, too.¡±


    She¡¯s right¡ªone hundred percent right. ¡°I¡¯m sorry...it just never came up in conversation and I don¡¯t want him to know I came here for him, not Seth.¡±


    She drops into the maroon couch. Her long, thin fingers comb through her straightened hair. ¡°You think I¡¯d tell him?¡±


    I raise my eyebrows accusingly because I know she¡¯d tell him. Selena repeats everything to everyone. She doesn¡¯t mean any harm by it, but it¡¯s always at the most inappropriate times. Her green eyes roll in their sockets. She knows very well that she has a loose tongue.


    ¡°What are you going to do? You can¡¯t follow him around forever.¡±


    ¡°I can keep an eye on him when he¡¯s around Seth and the boys. The rest of the time Mom will look out for him. I¡¯m sure she has some kind of plan.¡±


    She plays with the ends of her shiny, blonde hair, like she¡¯s deep in thought.


    ¡°Are you and Jackson together?¡± I ask, throwing her question back at her.


    Selena shrugs and a smile pulls at her lips. ¡°For the moment we¡¯re just having fun, but we¡¯ve spoken about it. We want to wait until Seth¡¯s tournament is out of the way and we can spend more time together.¡±


    I can¡¯t help but feel jealous. Selena and Jackson have spent less time together than Seth and I and they¡¯re already contemplating becoming official... what the hell am I doing wrong? Nothing. I assure myself. I¡¯m not even sure I want to be in another relationship. It¡¯s too early, isn¡¯t it?


    ¡°I¡¯m going to go to Jackson¡¯s room. I didn¡¯t bring any dresses so this is what I¡¯m going to have to wear to the bar.¡± She tugs on her white cardigan and cringes. ¡°I¡¯ll see you later.¡±


    She squeezes my arm and leaves the room. I grab my dress by the base and tug it off over my head. After tonight, the only thing that is going to help me sleep is a cold shower.


    Chapter Thirteen


    It¡¯s very late by the time Dad and Seth come back and I hear them long before they make it to the door. Their voices are low and their laughs melodious. The sound of their deep tones meshing together is music to my ears. I swing my legs over the edge of the couch and drop my book on the coffee table. I glance at the cover, I¡¯m never going to finish Atonement and it¡¯s a shame because it¡¯s really good so far. I rush to the door and manage to get it open before Dad gains access with his key card. They¡¯re both smiling and their eyes are glistening with evidence of their happiness. Seth takes in my black sweat pants and tank top with a subtle pout. He seems disappointed I¡¯m no longer in my dress.


    ¡°How was it?¡± I ask Dad as I step aside to let them into the suite.


    They both slip out of their shoes and line them neatly against the wall.


    ¡°Well, Seth won by a long shot.¡±


    ¡°But your dad gave me a run for my money.¡± Seth adds, kissing my forehead as he passes me. The action makes me blush. Lately, his actions come across as ''coupley''.

 Page 27

    ¡°You didn¡¯t go out?¡±Advertisement


    I shake my head, closing the door. ¡°I had no need to.¡±


    Dad pours himself a glass of water from the bar fridge and clears his throat. ¡°I¡¯m going to have a shower and then I¡¯m going to bed. Thanks again, Seth.¡±


    ¡°Anytime.¡± Seth strolls over to the couches and sits down as Dad waves us both off and disappears into his room.


    I slowly make my way over to the couches and Seth watches me closely. When my eyes meet his, a brilliant, playful smile creeps across his face and when I sit down next to him, he leans closer, his warmth enveloping me.


    ¡°How¡¯d you like the fight?¡± He asks me after an elongated silence.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡±


    He smiles wider, obviously thrilled by my response. He plants his hand firmly on my upper thigh, igniting the fire I thought I extinguished with the cold shower. He caresses me up and down and we sit in silence, enjoying each other¡¯s company.


    ¡°I thought the guy was going to die.¡± I add, feeling the need to have a reason for my displeasure.


    Seth laughs loudly and the thought of provoking such a beautiful sound from such a beautiful man intrigues me. I want to do it again and again. He reaches for me, pulling me in closer and I try desperately to keep breathing. ¡°No one would have let him die.¡±


    ¡°Still... it was horrifying.¡±


    ¡°What did Don want?¡± He asks, changing the subject abruptly. His smile is still in place, although now it seems forced.


    ¡°Revenge sex, apparently.¡±


    Seth scoffs, his smile fading and his eyes thinning into slits. ¡°Can you believe the fucking balls on that guy?¡±


    I cringe. The last thing I want to do is picture Don Russell¡¯s balls. ¡°I could never have sex with him...¡± I reply, feeling like I should reassure him. ¡°He¡¯s creepy and his dragon tattoo freaks me out.¡±


    I¡¯m distracted by his gaze. It¡¯s fixated on a small ball of fluff on my pants. He picks at it, trying to pull it off, but his fingers are too thick.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never really cared about my actions... until recently.¡± He confesses, bringing his attention back to my face. His eyes are cloudy with regret and I¡¯m lost, unsure of what he¡¯s talking about. ¡°Mason and now Don. It¡¯s all coming back to bite me in the ass and now that I finally have something I care about... I¡¯m afraid it¡¯s going to be taken from me. I don¡¯t care what happens to me... but I care what happens to you. I don¡¯t want my past behaviors to reflect negatively upon you. You¡¯re good and I don¡¯t want to taint that.¡±


    Surely he doesn¡¯t still think I¡¯m good? Especially after all of the naughty stuff we¡¯ve done? I push the thought to the back of my mind. It¡¯s not important right now. I reach out and rub my thumb along the apple of his cheek and then press a tender kiss to his lips. I know for certain now that he has feelings for me and I want to nurture them. I want to make him feel secure and sure that I would never hurt him like that.


    ¡°I¡¯ve done a lot of shit, O. Who knows what¡¯s going to pop up next.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡±


    ¡°You say that now.¡±


    ¡°Seth, I mean it. I don¡¯t care. I know exactly what kind of person you are. I knew the moment I saw you.¡±


    His sexiness isn¡¯t exactly subtle. Of course girls want him¡ªhell¡ªboys probably want him, too.


    I slide onto him, grabbing his face between my hands. I don¡¯t know why, but whenever I see him so conflicted. I want to help. I want to make him happy.


    ¡°So you¡¯ve had sex with tons of women, big deal. So you fight people for a living, who cares? It doesn¡¯t mean you don''t deserve me. It doesn¡¯t mean you don¡¯t deserve anything good.¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°I want to be with you¡ªactually with you, not this friend¡¯s with benefits crap.¡±


    ¡°But?¡±


    A sad smile pulls at his lips. ¡°You can¡¯t lose what you don¡¯t have, right?¡±


    I frown. ¡°Yes you can. We can¡¯t be like this forever. There are things that I want in life like marriage and children¡ª¡± Shit. ¡°Not that I¡¯m asking that of you.¡± I recover quickly. ¡°And as much as I enjoy the sex and spending time with you, I can¡¯t wait around for you to decide if you deserve me or not. I need to restart my life...and the sooner the better.¡±


    He nods slowly, avoiding my eyes. Underneath me, I can feel him tense and become uncomfortable. I exhale and slide off him.


    ¡°So that¡¯s it?¡±


    Nothing.


    ¡°How do you ever expect to be happy when you won¡¯t allow yourself to have the things you want?¡±


    I have no idea what I¡¯m saying... am I trying to pressure him into a relationship I¡¯m not sure I¡¯m ready for?


    ¡°I¡¯m scared.¡± He says finally. ¡°I¡¯m scared that once I let you in, you¡¯ll run the other way.¡±


    I try all I can to keep my expression calm, but I laugh once at his comment. ¡°I think I¡¯ve seen the worst of it by now.¡±


    ¡°You haven¡¯t. My world is messed up, Olivia. The part of my world that you¡¯re experiencing is the good part. The other part is fucking complicated.¡±


    I exhale. Ending the conversation here is probably my best option. If I push any further, it¡¯ll do more damage than good.


    ¡°Okay.¡± I say, resigning. ¡°I won¡¯t pressure you.¡±


    His fingers curl around my hand and he pulls me closer. I¡¯m starting to feel like we¡¯re playing an annoying game of tug of war with each other. He¡¯s so close I can feel his breath on my cheek and his dark eyes seem to bore into me, as if he¡¯s trying to understand something.


    ¡°You need answers and I¡¯ll give them to you, I promise, but it has to be on my terms and when I¡¯m ready.¡±


    His words scare me. What exactly goes on his world that is so bad he can¡¯t tell me? I know I should see it as a warning sign, but I¡¯m compelled to know his story. I want to know him because I like him¡ªmore than like him¡ªand I want to help. I want him to be happy.


    Seth sets his hands low on my hips and pulls me onto him. Another round of fire pulses through me, melting me. He dips his head, placing kisses on my neck and I let out a small moan as I reach for his hair, letting the strands slip between my fingers.


    ¡°I want you so bad.¡± He groans.


    Five words are all it takes to completely soak my underwear and I¡¯m good to go. I need him and if I don¡¯t get him I just know I¡¯m going to be sitting in the bathroom under the cold shower all night.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go to my room.¡± I suggest, my voice quiet and husky.


    I slide off of him and tug on his hand. His dark eyes flicker to my father¡¯s bedroom door and then back to my face. ¡°We can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°He won¡¯t know. We¡¯ll be quiet and you can leave straight after, I promise.¡±


    Seth¡¯s gaze drags back to my father¡¯s door and then back to my face. I tug on his arm a little harder and he rises to his feet. ¡°Fine, but if we get busted I¡¯m the victim.¡±


    ¡°Deal.¡±


    He follows closely behind me and into my room. I flick the light switch on, revealing my big, mahogany double bed and dark paneled walls. On the floor is a chocolate brown rug and I think it¡¯s meant to replicate bear fur, but I can¡¯t tell. I spent a good twenty minutes this morning caressing it with my toes. The room gives off a cabin in the mountains kind of feel¡ªit¡¯s romantic, really. All that¡¯s missing is a fireplace and a giant tiger rug¡ªfake tiger, obviously.


    ¡°Thanks for the room.¡± I say, diming the lights and approaching my bed. ¡°It¡¯s very cozy.¡±


    I feel him press against my back and I close my eyes. Even so little contact brings me crazy amounts of pleasure.


    ¡°We¡¯re not having sex on the bed.¡± He states, grasping my hips and urging me toward the fluffy rug. I don¡¯t know how I feel about having sex on a rug. A bed has been the only place I¡¯ve had sex... with the exclusion of tonight¡¯s teaser on the bench in Seth¡¯s room.


    ¡°You¡¯re bad for me.¡± I chuckle as he kneels down, bringing me with him.


    He grins at me, charmingly and shuffles closer bringing his chest flush against mine. His cocky stare grows dark and seductive as he angles his head and leans nearer. Heat builds inside me, smoldering relentlessly in the pit of my stomach. Only when he presses his lips to mine, it isn¡¯t wild and passionate like it was in the room before the fight. It¡¯s soft... almost loving. Sensations slide smoothly through my body, warming everything and I tense. He pulls back, smiling. ¡°What?¡±


    I shake my head, unable to hide my own smile. His dark, chocolate eyes watch my face as his hands sweep slowly underneath my shirt and across every inch of my stomach. The warmth of his fingertips against my already over-heated skin is a propellant to my actions, and I yank my t-shirt over my head. The rough pads of his hands feel good and I want to feel them all over me. They continue to explore the curve of my waist before moving south over my hips. His thumbs hook under my pants and he drags them down, exposing me completely. The feel of his calloused hands against my body drives me into a near-frenzy, and I can¡¯t fight the moan that escapes me when he presses his full lips to my collar bone. His tongue glides against my flesh and I bite down on my lip to prevent a whimper from escaping. Seth wraps an arm around my waist and he eases me onto my back¡ªthe fur rug feels as amazing on my back as it did on my feet. The appreciation of the rug is short lived as Seth freeing the rest of my legs from my pants takes precedence. I watch his face, suddenly nervous as his eyes move gradually up my body. They linger on my breasts, then my lips and finally my eyes. I feel my wetness, leaking warm and slick between my thighs. I¡¯ve never been admired so carefully before. I¡¯ve never started sex off on such a kind, slow note and it saddens me. Why had I continued with Blade for so long? His touch has never been caring, not like Seth¡¯s is right now. Seth shrugs out of his black hoodie and pulls his own shirt off, showing off his beautiful body. I ogle him shamelessly as I allow my vision to trace the chiseled lines of his torso. His hand caresses my ankles then along the straight edge of my shin bone, across the rises and dips of my knee, up the front of my thighs¡ªcausing me to shiver¡ªuntil they finally settle on my hip. He lies next to me, pulling on me and forcing my front against his. I swallow thickly as his fingertips draw small circles on my bare hip.


    ¡°I do care about you.¡± He whispers, brushing his nose against mine. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to think for a second that I don¡¯t.¡±


    I kiss him back sweetly, savoring every feeling he¡¯s stirring inside me.


    ¡°I know I talk a lot of shit... but I¡¯m serious.¡± His warm thumb glides over my cheek and then across my bottom lip. ¡°And since we can¡¯t be loud for your dad¡¯s sake, let me be gentle. Let me show you how much I care.¡±


    ¡°But tonight you were so determined... so rough.¡±


    He shakes his head. ¡°I know. I saw you in that fucking dress and I couldn¡¯t help myself. I don''t want you to see me like that all the time... I don¡¯t want you to think I¡¯m using you.¡±


    I chuckle and clear my throat nervously. ¡°I know you¡¯re not using me. We¡¯ve done things a few times now¡­ and you¡¯re still here.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a record, by the way.¡±


    I nudge him playfully and he simpers. ¡°I¡¯m trying change, O. I want to be there for you like you are for me even though I close you out.¡±


    His eyes catch mine and the over-confident gleam isn¡¯t there. Instead, there¡¯s a kind of uncertainty to his look, like he¡¯s uncomfortable... or nervous.


    ¡°Touch me.¡± The words tumble from my mouth in a rushed whisper, exciting me in every sense of the term.


    Seth¡¯s eyes flare with pleasure as his hands leaves my face and trail down the side of my body, making me shiver as his fingertips brush over my hip. His brown eyes are glistening and when I look into them, it¡¯s like I¡¯m staring into his soul.


    ¡°Where do you want me to touch you?¡± He murmurs, gliding a finger up the middle of my stomach and between my breasts.


    ¡°Everywhere.¡±


    Seth hooks his jean clad leg over me, straddling my hips. His hands caress my sides and then travel north to massage my breasts. His eyes remain on my face as he leans down and takes an already hard nipple between his lips. I whimper, arching my back slightly and pressing further into his mouth. My body trembles with pleasure as Seth¡¯s tongue draws warm and wet circles around my swollen buds. His trail of soft kisses moves over my collar bone and onto the base of my neck while his hands run up the sides of my body, making me twitch a little underneath him. He¡¯s being so sensual, so slow and it¡¯s torture¡ªsweet, sexy torture. My skin tingles when he pulls away and climbs to his feet. He looks down at me and unbuttons his jeans. They fall to the ground and he steps out of them before kicking them to the side. Seth stands there a little while longer, allowing me to appreciate everything about him and the very sight of him and all his hard glory causes the space between my legs to grow hot with moisture. There¡¯s a small smile on his lips as he lowers himself onto me again, pressing his thick thigh muscle between my legs. I squirm against him, trying hard to keep my composure. He holds himself above me, keeping his eyes locked on mine and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears as my breathing turns shallow and quick. Seth, however, is the perfect picture of calm. The only giveaway being his hard length that rests upon my leg.


    I gasp at the sensation as he sucks my nipple between his lips again, running his warm tongue over it. When he releases it, he moves upwards to my mouth and he kisses me until I¡¯m gasping for air. I shift my hips under him, and he smiles down at me. I can¡¯t wait any longer and a quiet laugh falls from his lips. ¡°You¡¯re impatient.¡±

 Page 28

    I nod in agreement, opening my thighs as he positions himself between them. His hand comes between us and he uses it to guide himself directly to his goal. He pushes in slowly and an electric current shoots through me. He thrusts a little harder at my gasp causing my fingers dig into his shoulder blades. He pulls back and enters painfully slow again. I press my forehead against his shoulder and muffle my moans against his skin. A fiery burst of need explodes inside my stomach and I bite back a cry, locking my ankles around his waist. The deep moan that rips from Seth is the most erotic thing I¡¯ve ever heard and his movements intensify as he moves deeper inside of me. He groans his pleasure into the nape of my neck as his hand slides between us again, this time his thumb circles my soft clit. I close my eyes and grind my hips into him.Advertisement


    ¡°Do you like that?¡± he half pants, half moans in my ear.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I reply, almost breathlessly.


    His breath hitches at my confession and claims my mouth with his. His slower thrusts become frantic and needy. After a few moments, he pulls his lips from mine to let me breathe and quickly pushes his head down to tease my nipples with his tongue. I bite back a smile. He¡¯s definitely a boob man. His finger circles me faster as he thrusts deeper. I feel my release getting closer and closer, and I can barely keep my hips from squirming.


    ¡°Seth!¡± I gasp, running my fingers through his hair. ¡°Fuck... oh God.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± He rasps.


    My pants and gasps threaten to turn into loud cries and moans, but as my climax spills over, Seth slams his mouth onto mine, kissing me deeply and absorbing all of my noises. I bite down on his bottom lip and he releases a powerful growl from his chest and I knew he, too, has been sent over the edge. Every cell in my body is alive with my passing pleasure, and I rock once more against him as he drops his head into my shoulder.


    After a few seconds, he stiffens and quickly slides out of me. I¡¯m startled and I grab at his arm, but it slides right off. ¡°What is it?¡±


    His fingers run through his hair. ¡°I was so caught up... I completely forgot protection.¡± His brown eyes are wide and the after-sex gleam is nowhere to be seen. ¡°This has never happened to me before... I never forget. I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± I say, sitting up. ¡°I¡¯m on the pill and I know you get checked for STD¡¯s all the time because of your work.¡±


    He frowns at himself. ¡°Those things always fail¡ªthe pill, I mean.¡±


    I shrug. ¡°They¡¯ve worked for the last six years of my life. I¡¯m not going to start worrying now and neither should you.¡±


    Still trembling from my orgasm, I climb to my feet and go to the shower room. Thankfully, all three rooms have an ensuite. Dad¡¯s room has a spa bath and a shower while mine and Selena¡¯s only have a shower and a toilet. It¡¯s still beautiful and modern with deep mahogany benches and chocolate tiles, not to mention the state of the art glass walled shower, but a bath would¡¯ve been nice.


    I flick on the light and step in. As I make my way over to the shower, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it stops me in my tracks. I¡¯ve never looked so...satisfied before. Thin strands of my long chocolate hair are floating around my head and my cheeks are rosy, like they¡¯ve been pinched. I smile at my too-bright eyes and run my hand over my face. I could get used to this.


    I step toward the shower and put it on as hot as I can tolerate, letting the thin blades of fire beat across my back. When I get out of the shower I want to be so tired I just crash out. The bathroom door opens and I can only just make out Seth¡¯s large silhouette through the steamed glass. When the shower door opens, cool air rushes in making my nipples harden to maximum point. I quiver and pull him in, quickly. As soon as the door closes I manage to warm up again. Seth reaches around me for the exfoliation sponge and pours a strange pink soap that smells like cucumber and watermelon onto of it. His large hands massage the sponge until it foams and then he turns me away from him. I gasp when I feel his wet, naked body press up against my back. He lathers the sponge and his fingers trail along my shoulders as he brushes my hair over one side. I still feel his fingertips on my bare skin as they fall away and are replaced by the rough pad and warm bubbles. The sponge glides over the base of my neck before gliding in circular motions over my shoulders and between my shoulder blades. I close my eyes as he slides it down the middle of my back, stopping just before my behind begins.


    Seth drags the sponge in rhythmic strokes back to the nape of my neck and runs it down the length of my arms. Soon, I feel the sponge drop to the floor of the shower and I open my eyes as his soapy hands slide around my waist. They easily drift across my stomach and then up underneath my breasts. I happily close my eyes again and rest my head against his chest. I¡¯ve never been washed by someone else before and the thought of someone like Seth doing it arouses me. I can feel my entire upper body soaped and thoroughly cleaned. He pulls me back a little bit and the water washes the soap from my body. He steps forward again and his hands slide lower, brushing my inner thigh. Instinctively, my eyes fly open and I¡¯m met with my own reflection in the large bathroom mirror. Seth has wiped the steam off the glass and I hadn¡¯t even noticed. My hair clings to my skin, draping to the left of my shoulder. I feel extra heat climb into my cheeks under his gaze and I don¡¯t think he notices. I¡¯m already a light shade of pink due to the heat of the water. Moisture glistens on my skin as more tendrils of water roll over my shoulder and down my chest. Seth stands under the shower, letting the hot streams hit the back of his neck and roll down either side. His chocolate eyes are on my face while his hands roam freely over my slick skin.


    ¡°You are beautiful.¡± He whispers in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.


    I can¡¯t help the smile that spreads across my lips. ¡°You¡¯re being silly.¡± I titter, placing my hands on his as they massage my stomach and my hips. ¡°You¡¯ve seen plenty of naked women...¡±


    ¡°Not like you.¡± He lowers his mouth to my neck and kisses my warm flesh. ¡°Never like you.¡±


    My bottom lip drops a little at his words, leaving my mouth slightly agape. If I had any reservation about getting into a relationship with Seth before, it¡¯s completely gone now. I want¡ªno¡ªI need him in my life. In the short time of knowing him, he has flipped my world around, more than once. He can make me angry, sad and confused all in the same minute, but he can also makes me the happiest I¡¯ve ever been. Being around Seth is exciting and dangerous and I like it... I like him. Our reflection becomes unclear as the glass fogs up again and he shuts off the shower. Goosebumps erupt over my skin when I push open the door and stand on the soft, brown mat. Steam floats from our hot skin as Seth grabs two towels and hands one to me. We dry ourselves in silence, but every now and then he¡¯ll smile a lazy, adorable smile at me, making me laugh.


    When we¡¯re back in the bedroom, we find our clothes and put them on. Now, the big double bed is extra alluring to me. My eyelids are heavy and all I want is sleep.


    ¡°Let me tuck you in before I go.¡±


    ¡°You want to tuck me in?¡± I ask incredulously.


    ¡°Of course. I take care of what¡¯s mine.¡±


    ¡°And I am yours.¡± I mumble, pulling back the sheets and climbing in.


    Seth approaches my side of the bed, smiling a proud smile. ¡°You are mine.¡±


    He pulls the heavy blankets over me and leans down to kiss me softly on the lips. ¡°I¡¯ll see you tomorrow.¡±


    I nod my head and stifle a yawn. ¡°See you.¡±


    Before he has even left the room, my eyes close. Trying to open them again causes unnecessary aches so I don¡¯t bother. My heart swells. Tonight wasn¡¯t about sex. He was so tender and attentive... he wanted me to see how much he cares for me. I¡¯m not sure how long after he left that I fell asleep, but I do know that when sleep took me, I had a wide smile on my face.


    Chapter Fourteen


    Driving back into Portland depresses me. I had such a good time in Concord with Seth and his team. It wasn¡¯t much. Most of the time Seth and everyone else were in the gym training for ridiculous amounts of time, leaving Selena and I to walk around. We had fun though and it was definitely a much need break, but now that we¡¯re home, I have to deal with everything else¡ªlike Blade and Mason.


    The little red velvet box that Blade gave me is still sitting on my bedside table. I haven¡¯t opened it, but I will today when I¡¯m alone and I¡¯ll return it to him this afternoon. I want Seth, not Blade. I can¡¯t have Blade interfering and messing with my head. He gave me a ring with no explanation. That¡¯s hardly romantic. Seth hasn¡¯t given me anything and yet he¡¯s managed to make me feel like I¡¯m special to him.


    ¡°Are you going to take the ring back to Blade today?¡± Selena asks, pulling me from my thoughts.


    Seth¡¯s hand clenches the steering wheel briefly and he keeps his chocolate eyes on the road, but I know he¡¯s listening. I told Selena this morning that I¡¯d be taking the ring back to Blade. If she had questions, why didn¡¯t she ask me then? I hate talking about Blade in front of Seth. It¡¯s awkward. I glance over my shoulder, Selena is chewing on her pink, sparkly nail and Jackson is sleeping soundly with his head in her jean-clad lap. I bring my gaze back to the road ahead of me, not paying attention to any of the buildings whipping past.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll go and see him today.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d go with you, but Dad called and he wants me in the office today.¡±


    I wave her off. ¡°That¡¯s okay. I should probably do it on my own anyway.¡±


    Seth leans his elbow on the rest between our seats and asks. ¡°Is he a violent person?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Selena and I reply in unison.


    ¡°He¡¯s not violent,¡± Selena feels the need to say, ¡°but he¡¯s persistent and slimy. He always has shit up his sleeve. I¡¯ve lost how count at how many times those two have broken up and miraculously ended up back together.¡±


    I¡¯m scowling at her through the mirror in my sun visor, but she isn¡¯t looking at me. Her attention is on her fucking pink nails. ¡°He must have a magical dick because there¡¯s no way I¡¯d keep dating someone who cheated on me every week.¡±


    ¡°Alright Selena.¡± I snap, crossing my arms over my chest. ¡°We get it.¡±


    ¡°Shit, sorry.¡±


    ¡°I can take you.¡± Seth offers, running a thumb along my thigh, comfortingly.


    I shake my head. ¡°No, it¡¯ll just make things worse. He doesn¡¯t cooperate well under pressure.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m taking you.¡± Seth says and I realize his offer wasn¡¯t actually an offer, but a demand.


    I open my mouth to protest, but his words cut me off.


    ¡°I¡¯ll stay in the car with Jackson. At least you¡¯ll have someone there if he decides to pull anything.¡±


    His commanding eyes lock onto mine briefly before they turn back to the road. I won¡¯t fight him. If he wants to take me to Blade¡¯s house, then fine.


    I see Selena¡¯s gigantic, sandstone-looking house in the distance as we drive up her street. Right on queue Jackson the sleeping beauty yawns, awakening from his too long nap.


    ¡°We¡¯re here already, huh?¡± Jackson¡¯s voice is husky from sleep.


    I open my mouth to answer, but the distinctly kissing noises and giggles stops me and I roll my eyes. If there is one thing I won¡¯t miss about this trip it¡¯s the long make out sessions between Selena and Jackson. Jesus. It¡¯s never ending! Thankfully, we pull up in front of Selena¡¯s house.


    ¡°I¡¯ll call you.¡± Selena calls to me as she climbs out and Jackson followers her.


    Right in front of the car they practically hump each other goodbye and I groan, throwing my head back against the seat.


    ¡°You must be real happy to be away from that.¡± Seth laughs, leaning back in his chair.


    ¡°You have no idea.¡±


    His hand curls around my wrist and he pulls it to his lips, kissing it softly. His lips are surprisingly warm on my skin and tingles burst in my stomach.


    ¡°When we¡¯re done here we¡¯re going to swing by your place, get that ring and take it back to that fucking guy.¡±


    I angle my body toward him.


    ¡°Do I detect jealousy?¡± I tease.


    He smiles against the back of my hand. ¡°Jealousy? No. Possession? Maybe. If anyone is gonna buy you things in pretty red boxes, it¡¯s me.¡±


    I pull my hand back. ¡°Thanks, but I don¡¯t need to be bought things to be happy. Blade seems to think I do, but that just reflects how little he actually knows about me.¡±


    ¡°And what do you need to be happy?¡±


    I sit for a little while thinking. I¡¯ve never been asked a question like that before. I tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear before I speak. ¡°I want what everyone wants, I guess. Health. Loyal friends. Love. I don¡¯t know...¡±


    He smirks at me, his eyes glistening with admiration.


    ¡°If I had to choose something materialistic, I¡¯d choose a bath.¡±


    ¡°A bath?¡± He repeats, almost laughing.


    ¡°Yep, a nice hot bubble bath. It¡¯s been years since I¡¯ve had one.¡±


    He drops my hand and runs his fingers through his hair. ¡°You¡¯re so cute I can¡¯t even handle it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m cute?¡± I scoff, almost offended. I¡¯ve never been called cute before. ¡°I¡¯m not cute.¡±


    He reaches across to pinch at my already pink cheeks and I swat him away.


    ¡°Okay, where to now?¡± Jackson asks, sliding back into the car and slamming the door behind him. His face comes between our seats and I look at him. When I think about it, Jackson and Selena look very similar. His hair is a little darker, but they both have the same green eyes and facial structure¡ªsharp and angular.

 Page 29

    ¡°We¡¯re going to swing by Olivia¡¯s place and pick something up to drop off to her ex.¡± Seth tells Jackson like it¡¯s no big deal.Advertisement


    ¡°We¡¯re going? You sure that¡¯s a good idea?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I state firmly.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Seth answers over me. ¡°I think it¡¯s a very good idea. Her ex is a douchebag.¡±


    Jackson leans back in the seat and his obvious disapproval hangs in the hair, making me uncomfortable. ¡°All the more reason not to go.¡± He replies.


    ¡°You¡¯re more than welcome to walk home.¡± Seth says, pulling out onto the road.


    ¡°Seth¡ª¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Jackson interjects. ¡°I¡¯ll tag along, just don¡¯t do anything stupid.¡±


    I glance sideways at Seth. His face is neutral, void of any specific emotion. He wouldn¡¯t do anything stupid, would he? The last thing I want is to get Blade hurt or Seth in trouble. The closer we got to my house, the more nervous I became. I have no idea what I¡¯m going to say to Blade or if he¡¯ll even be home. I pull my phone from my pocket.


    ¡°I should probably call him.¡±


    I dial his number and put it to my ear. He answers immediately. ¡°Babe?¡±


    Seth glances at me slightly and his brows furrow. I think he heard it. Momentarily, I¡¯m unsure what to do? Should I correct him or just ignore it.


    ¡°Olly?¡±


    Screw it. I¡¯ll correct him next time. ¡°Blade, hey.¡±


    He seems upbeat and excited¡ªlike he¡¯s expecting good news from me. ¡°How are you?¡±


    It¡¯s dead quiet in the car and it¡¯s unnerving. ¡°Good, thanks. Are you going to be home today? I need to¡ª¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll be home all day. When are you thinking of coming?¡±


    ¡°I should be there in half an hour.¡± I look at Seth and he nods.


    ¡°Great! I¡¯ve really missed you, Olly.¡±


    I almost cringe. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll see you then.¡±


    I hang up and put my phone away. My fingers nervously find each other, tangling in a edgy fidget.


    When we pull up outside my home, I grab my travel bag off the floor and jump from the car. Seth and Jackson wait while I run upstairs to grab the little red box. I don¡¯t bother changing my clothes. I¡¯m too comfortable in my jeans and t-shirt. I step into my bedroom and immediately find the red box on my bedside table. My travel bag lands with a small thud on the carpet beside me and I step over it. I grab the box and feel the nice velvet material on my fingertips before I push it into the palm of my hand. For some reason, my hands are shaking and I feel a little anxious. I¡¯m ninety-nine percent sure I know what¡¯s inside... but I don¡¯t know what kind of emotions are going to be opened along with the box. It creaks as my index finger pushes it open a little. I take two deep breaths¡ªin and out, in and out¡ªand open it the rest of the way. I inhale sharply, totally floored by the pretty, gold ring nestled in the white, silk fabric. It¡¯s truly beautiful and something I definitely would have appreciated when we were together. But now, I don¡¯t want it. It represents all of my mistakes and everything I¡¯m trying to learn and grow from. I close the lid and stuff it into the pocket of my jeans, making it bulge ridiculously. I don¡¯t want to spend too much time up here so I run back out the front door, making sure I lock it behind me. I give Seth Blade¡¯s address when I get back into the car, but other than that no one said anything to me, thank God.


    When we pull into Blade¡¯s driveway the butterflies in my stomach have magnified tenfold and I almost cry. The thought of seeing Blade¡¯s face when I return this ring is going to suck¡ªespecially knowing that he probably spent a lot of money on it.


    ¡°Do you want me to come with you?¡± Seth asks, stroking my wrist with his thumb.


    A small laugh falls from my lips. ¡°No, I don¡¯t think that will go down too well.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re here if you need us.¡± Jackson says, sticking his head between our seats again. And I smile at him.


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    I pull the little box from my pocket and open the door. Blade¡¯s place is much like mine. It¡¯s an apartment complex with the front stairs leading straight to his door. I slide out of the car and shut the door behind me. Blade appears at the top of the stairs and there¡¯s no sign of happiness on his face. I knew I should¡¯ve come alone. He stuffs his hands into the front pocket of his jeans.


    ¡°Please tell me he¡¯s only dropping you off.¡±


    I shake my head as I approach the steps. ¡°This won¡¯t take long.¡±


    His blue eyes glower past me and into Seth¡¯s car. Dread rolls through my stomach when I hear two car doors open and close. I turn to them and watch as they lean against the car just waiting for Blade to do something. Jackson is shaking his head slightly¡ªalmost like he¡¯s saying ¡®I told you so¡¯. Seth face is intimidating, even to me. His thick arms are crossed over his chest and his eyes are dark and daring. I try to give him my best ¡®relax¡¯ face and I¡¯m sure he knows what I mean. I turn back to Blade who¡¯s still watching the boys with such disgust and hate.


    ¡°Forget they¡¯re even here.¡± I say, climbing up the stairs.


    He drags his eyes to my face and smiles at me, flashing his dimples. ¡°Easy done. Do you want to come in?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    He almost flinches. ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t want to stay long...¡± I hold out the little red case. ¡°I can¡¯t accept this.¡±


    He doesn¡¯t take it. ¡°I bought it for you.¡±


    ¡°I know, but we aren¡¯t together. It¡¯s wrong for me to take it.¡±


    ¡°Then consider it an ¡®I want you back¡¯ gift.¡±


    Oh boy. This is not going to be easy. ¡°It¡¯s beautiful¡ªit really is¡ªbut I don¡¯t want it.¡±


    ¡°Olly, baby¡ª¡±


    ¡°And you need to stop calling me baby. It¡¯s inappropriate.¡±


    He raises his voice, becoming increasingly angry and commanding. ¡°Like fuck it is. You were my girlfriend for six years. I¡¯ve earned the right to call you that.¡±


    I scoff. ¡°You haven¡¯t earned a damn thing. You were my boyfriend for six years. I was your girlfriend for two. That¡¯s when you started cheating on me.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think it was¡ª¡±


    ¡°Two years, Blade.¡±


    He stares at me, waiting for me to say or do something. Blade¡¯s gaze drags over my head to Seth and then back to me.


    ¡°And you think he cares about you?¡±


    I almost laugh. Seth does care about me. I¡¯ve spent enough time with him to know that he does. ¡°Yes,¡±


    ¡°Trust me,¡± his hand rests on my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯ve seen him with the girls at Heaven¡¯s. He doesn¡¯t respect women, Olly.¡±


    Ha! Pot. Kettle. Black. I shrug him off. ¡°You don¡¯t know a damn thing about him. I get how he comes across, but he¡¯s different with me.¡±


    Blade works his bottom lip between his teeth, an annoying habit that I¡¯ve had to put up with the last six years. To avoid seeing it, I¡¯d try to avoid arguing with him.


    ¡°Have you fucked him?¡± He blurts out startling me from past annoyances.


    My voice comes out a lot quieter than I intend. ¡°That¡¯s none of your business.¡±


    Blade pushes past me, almost knocking me down a step. Panic sears in me, this is exactly what I wanted to avoid. My legs shake and threaten to give way as I jump from the steps and chase after Blade. This is too much drama for me to handle. A slight smile pulls at Seth¡¯s lips and his large frame pushes off the car as Blade comes in close.


    ¡°Have you fucked her?¡± Blade demands, stopping just short of Seth.


    There¡¯s a devious gleam to Seth¡¯s eyes and I realize I¡¯ve seen it before. He has the same look as he did that day at my work.


    ¡°I¡¯ve done more than that.¡± Seth smirks.


    Jackson pushes his way between the two boys and his hands fly to Blade¡¯s chest, causing his yellow polo shirt to bunch up. He inches him back a bit.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do anything stupid, guy.¡± Jackson warns in a low voice.


    Blade shrugs him off and shoves him backwards. ¡°You¡¯ve probably fucked her too.¡±


    I cringe. Hearing him talk about me with such a disgusted tone makes my chest constrict. I look at Seth, he glowers at Blade now, his eyes glinting with a dark and lethal gleam. I swallowed harshly, feeling my hands begin to shake with panic.


    ¡°Nah, man.¡± Jackson assures him, casually. ¡°She¡¯s his.¡±


    ¡°His?¡± He almost spits the word and he snaps his ice blue eyes to me. ¡°His?¡±


    I swallow hard. ¡°Yes.¡±


    I thought I¡¯d be happy rubbing Seth in Blade¡¯s face, but sadly¡­ it makes me feel like shit.


    ¡°But I saw you all over the internet. You looked so uncomfortable and you were wearing the dress I bought for you. I thought¡ª¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean anything... Selena made me take the dress.¡±


    I extend the little red box to him again. His gaze drops to it and then back to my face. In my six years of dating Blade, I¡¯ve never seen him so hurt... and it¡¯s too much for me. I need to leave.


    ¡°Take it.¡± Seth says, leaning back against the car. ¡°She doesn¡¯t want it.¡±


    Blade¡¯s long, thin fingers reach out and curl around the box. His cool fingertips linger on mine for a little while longer and I drop my sight to the concrete before pulling my hand away. Blade moves to the side and without looking at him I step toward the car. When I¡¯m right beside Seth, his voice breaks the uncomfortable silence.


    ¡°You know what I did after the fight?¡± Seth says to Blade with a sardonic grin.


    Oh shit. My eyes widen and blood drains from my face. ¡°Seth¡ª¡±


    ¡°I ruined the dress.¡±


    He did not just say that. I look at Blade, his face is unreadable, but he embodies anger just by the way his body becomes tensed. I open my mouth to speak¡ªto tell him that Seth is lying, that he didn¡¯t ruin the dress and he¡¯s just trying to get a rise out of him, but Blade¡¯s angry growl forces me to clamp my mouth shut. ¡°You motherfucker!¡±


    Before Blade has the chance to approach Seth, Jackson is pushing on him, trying to drive him away. Seth steps forward and I throw myself at him. Underneath my hands his muscles are tense and ready to go.


    ¡°Relax,¡± Jackson shouts while Blade thrashes against him.


    Jackson can easily control Blade. He¡¯s not bigger than Seth, but he is a hell of a lot bigger than Blade. Innocent bystanders walk by quickly, unable to peel their eyes from our predicament. We have to get out of here. Someone is bound to call the cops any second now. I don¡¯t know much about Seth¡¯s tournament, but I do know a fight of any kind won¡¯t sit well with them.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I hiss at Seth, pulling on his arm. He takes no notice of me and so I elbow him in the ribs. Still nothing. I elbow him again¡ªharder this time and he grunts, finally giving me attention. ¡°I said let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°C¡¯mon, Jackson.¡± Seth calls offhandedly, walking around to his side of the car.


    I waste no time in opening the door and climbing into the car. I need to get out of here. I can¡¯t stomach seeing Blade¡¯s disgusted/depressed expression for a second longer. Jackson straightens his black tee and heads back toward the car. I drop my attention down to my legs not daring to make eye contact with Blade.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± Seth apologizes. I look at him and he gives me a guilty, almost sad smile. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have provoked him.¡±


    ¡°Save it. You''re not sorry at all.¡±


    Like I expected, a cocky smile tugged at his lips and I scowl at him. The back door slams and Jackson sticks his head between our seats for the third time.


    ¡°Can you believe the balls on that guy? Jesus. He was gonna to try and take the both of us.¡±


    I scoff. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t have done anything.¡±


    Seth quirks an eyebrow at me. Did I say something weird?


    ¡°You¡¯re defending him?¡± Jackson sneers, leaning back against the seat. ¡°Unbelievable.¡±


    ¡°Shit,¡± Seth grunts. ¡°Maybe he does have a magic dick.¡±


    Jackson snickers, but I don¡¯t find it funny at all. Not in the slightest.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t have a magic dick.¡± I spit. ¡°You two are just being immature. Poor guy. I was trying to return his gift and make it as easy for him as I could.¡±


    ¡°Did he make it easy for you when he cheated on you God knows how many times?¡± Seth¡¯s voice is hard.


    ¡°No, but I¡ª¡±


    ¡°But nothing. You don¡¯t owe him anything.¡± He runs his hand over his face, exhaling heavily. ¡°If I wasn''t in this God damn tournament I¡¯d drop him just for using that aggressive tone with you. He¡¯s a piece of shit. You deserve better than that.¡±


    Something in me triggers, sending my anger meter sky-rocketing. ¡°You mean I deserve someone like you? Someone who I know nothing about and has no quarrels with fucking me, but a huge issue with relationships? Yep, I got everything I deserve right there.¡±


    After a few seconds and a few long, deep breaths I realize I might have been a little harsh. I rub my forehead, regretting everything I said. I feel sorry for Jackson. Serious talks are something that should be kept private, not shared. He must be so uncomfortable right now.


    My hands and legs shake nervously all the way home. Not once do I look in Seth¡¯s direction even when I feel his gaze on my face. When we pull up outside my house, I say a quick goodbye and slide out of the car. I¡¯m barely at my steps when I hear another car door close. Of course he¡¯d follow me when I¡¯m not in the mood for his attitude. I stop walking and turn around.

 Page 30

    ¡°You¡¯re not getting away with that shitty goodbye.¡± He calls, stalking over to me.Advertisement


    ¡°What do you wan¡ª¡±


    His hands circle my waist and his mouth compresses against mine, literally taking my breath away. He¡¯s warm¡ªhe¡¯s always warm. When he pulls away and lets me go, I almost stumble backwards. The kiss was that intense.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for making things harder for you, but I¡¯m not sorry for putting pressure on that douchebag.¡± He smiles and you¡¯d swear I didn¡¯t say a word to upset him. ¡°Now I have to go to training, but I¡¯ll be back tonight.¡±


    Feeling rather defiant, I put my hands on hips. ¡°What if I¡¯m doing something?¡±


    He flicks his brows once, cockily. ¡°You will be.¡±


    I arch an eyebrow.


    ¡°Me.¡± He adds with a wink. ¡°I¡¯ll see you later.¡±


    I watch the car from the base of my steps until it disappears from sight. Just like that the frustration I feel toward Seth is gone. All it took was one kiss and I¡¯ve forgiven him. I¡¯m like putty when it comes to him and he knows exactly how to mold me.


    It¡¯s T-minus four hours until I see Seth again and I¡¯ve run out of things to do. I cleaned, had a shower and watched a movie. I peel myself from the couch and enter my room. A nap sounds good. I approach the bed and kick my toe on my travel bag.


    ¡°To the wash.¡± I exhale, picking up the bag and dumping its contents on my bed.


    The first thing to fall out is one of Seth¡¯s hoodies. He¡¯d forgotten about it and left it on my floor. I remember stuffing it in my bag just in case Dad saw it. He didn¡¯t and he didn¡¯t suspect anything the next day either. Not that he would mention anything about hearing his daughter have sex... that¡¯d be awkward. I take my phone from my bedside table and dial Seth¡¯s number. No answer. I call my dad next. I should be able to get Seth¡¯s address off of him¡ªassuming he has it. Will Seth mind if I show up at his house to drop off his hoodie? Am I imposing? I can¡¯t imagine I am after everything we went through in Concord. I know I can wait until he gets here, but I don¡¯t want to. I want to see him.


    ¡°Hey, Olly?¡± Dad answers.


    ¡°Yeah Dad, it¡¯s me. Hey, do you have Seth¡¯s address?¡±


    ¡°Yep, let me get my files.¡±


    I hear the sound of the filing cabin rattle and bang in the background. ¡°It¡¯s one-zero-three Promenade Way.¡±


    ¡°Really? Like the Promenade Way up on the hills?¡±


    Promenade Way is a thirty minute drive and it¡¯s slightly out of town. I¡¯ve been up there twice and if I thought Selena¡¯s house was amazing, it has nothing on the prestigious palaces up there.


    ¡°That¡¯s the one. I gotta go sweety, two men are about to brawl over the rowing machine.¡±


    ¡°Be careful. Don¡¯t do anything stupid and get someone to help yo¡ª¡±


    He hangs up.


    ¡°Love you, too.¡± I groan throwing my phone onto my bed.


    I frown. How does Seth live on Promenade Way? I know the amateur tournament is paying him for every win, but I don¡¯t think it¡¯s enough to cover even a quarter of the cost of the houses up there. My curiosity is too strong to not go and take a look for myself so I slip into my pair of tennis shoes and throw a thin, white jacket on over my white tank top. I wouldn¡¯t normally wear a pair of light pink cotton short-shorts out of the house, but the weather is quite warm today and the mere thought of wearing jeans chaffs me.


    I grab Seth¡¯s jacket, head out the door and get in my car. While I drive, I try calling him again.


    Still no answer.


    The closer I get to his house the more I think this is a bad idea. Seth is a very closed off person...he isn¡¯t going to appreciate me showing up like this. But, as much as I want to turn around, I can¡¯t take my foot of the accelerator.


    Soon, I pull up in front of house one-zero-three and my mouth drops open. Surely I have the wrong address. I survey the huge, two-storey house and its beautiful dark chocolate bricks. On the second floor, there¡¯s a small white stone balcony with small white outdoor furniture. The house looks dead quiet and absolutely peaceful. I¡¯ve never seen a house so... breathtaking. It¡¯s like it belongs isolated and surrounded by gorgeous, lush mazes. Forcing my eyes from the house, I grab his jacket, slip out of the car and slide my keys into my pocket. The front lawn is huge and green and I curl my toes in my shoes against the urge to run barefoot over it. There¡¯s no fence blocking outside intruders from coming in¡ªnot that this place would have people like that, I suppose. My shoes stick to the pretty chocolate stepping tiles and past the blooming garden. I stop to look at the flowers, there are so many colors and all of them contrast well against the brown bricks.


    ¡°Can I help you?¡± A husky, womanly voice asks.


    I jump, clenching the jacket to my chest. When I see a beautiful, mature aged woman sitting in a wide, cane chair I relax a little, but when her espresso dark eyes glower at me, the tense feeling returns.


    ¡°Hi,¡± I say as politely as I can. I step closer. ¡°Does Seth Marc live here?¡±


    ¡°Have you come for sex?¡± She takes a drag of her cigarette and my attention is on the red ember that flares brightly as she does so.


    What the hell kind of question is that?


    ¡°No...I''m just¡ª¡± I hold up the hoodie slightly, but she cuts me off.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name? Tiffany? No, you look like a Natasha.¡±


    I know I¡¯m not imaging the slur attached to her words. I shake my head and she rises from her chair. She straightens her beautiful, caramel dress-suit and struts down the steps to tower over me.


    ¡°I¡¯m Olivia.¡± I state.


    ¡°And have you come for sex, Olivia?¡±


    My lips part as my senses and every inch of my skin flood with nervous heat. ¡°I most certainly have not. If you let me finish what I¡¯m trying to¡ª¡±


    I hold the hoodie out and she cuts me off again. ¡°So you haven''t had sex with my son?¡±


    ¡°No¡ªwell, I¡ªwe¡ªwait. Did you say son?¡±


    ¡°I did. Seth is my son.¡± She flicks her cigarette onto the pretty grass and stamps it out with her heel, leaving a black mark in the otherwise perfect lawn. His mother is definitely intimidating and the more I look at her the more of Seth¡¯s features I can see¡ªthe chocolate eyes, the height, the beautiful cheek bones. She¡¯s swaying slightly, completely drunk out of her mind and I¡¯m scared.


    ¡°I only came to return his jacket... that¡¯s all.¡± My voice is quiet.


    ¡°And why do you have it?¡±


    ¡°He leant it to me when we were in Concord.¡± He actually left it on my bedroom floor, but I¡¯m not telling her that. Her face falls.


    ¡°You¡¯re the girl he¡¯s been spending all his time with?¡±


    I half shrug, half nod.


    ¡°He took you to Concord with him?¡±


    I nod again. Tears well in her eyes and I reach out to touch her¡ªto comfort her.


    ¡°Olivia?¡± There''s no mistaking that voice and I take my hand back before it connects with her shoulder. It¡¯s Seth¡¯s and it sounds spine tinglingly chilling. He comes out of the elegant front door and towers over us from the top of the stairs. His hair is a little flat on one side and his eyes are a heavy. Shit. We woke him up.


    ¡°Seth, I¡ª¡±


    His Mom snaps her attention to him. ¡°You took her to Concord, but you couldn¡¯t return my calls?¡±


    Randomly, she starts to cry that drunken, over the top cry and Seth cringes. Is this why he keeps me so separate from his home life? Because of his mother?


    ¡°You know why I don¡¯t answer your calls God damn it, now get inside.¡± There¡¯s no remorse in voice. He doesn¡¯t care that his mother is upset. I see his chest begin to rise and fall rapidly.


    ¡°No!¡± She screams and then her tears dry up. Gone and all at the drop of a hat. ¡°I¡¯m having a chat with my new friend here. Come,¡± She extends her hand to me. ¡°Let¡¯s go inside and have a drink.¡±


    Seth tenses and I know I¡¯m not welcome here. I politely decline her hand. ¡°No thank you, I¡¯m fine. I¡¯m just here to return his jacket.¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯ve had enough.¡± Seth adds on the end.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to tell me what to do? After everything I¡¯ve done for you and your sister?¡±


    Seth licks his lips agitatedly. He doesn¡¯t seem to like what she¡¯s saying, but he doesn¡¯t want to correct her in front of me. His mom hunches over a little and clenches her mouth. I think she¡¯s going to puke. I step forward and place a hand on her back, her body rocks with heaves underneath me.


    ¡°Go home, Olivia.¡± He almost growls it at me and I take a step back, fighting against the urge to clench my chest. Touching his mother seems to have offended him. His voice isn¡¯t polite or caring. It¡¯s rough, hard and dangerous.


    ¡°But she¡¯s¡ª¡±


    ¡°I said go fucking home!¡± He snaps.


    His voice is sharp and cold, stabbing me in the stomach like a knife. Something prickly twists in my chest and I drop his jacket on the ground and turn away. My feet move as quickly as they can as I storm to my car, hoping to appear more pissed off than heartbroken. I throw myself into the driver¡¯s seat and speed off, leaving the sound of screeching tires behind me. A few feet down the road and my chest heaves as sadness chokes me, but I don¡¯t stop driving¡­ not until I pull into my driveway.


    Chapter Fifteen


    I don¡¯t know what it is about today, but it sucks. It started off fine, but quickly turned to shit. I yank the pillow off my head and throw it across the room. My hair sticks to my cheeks and I brush it off agitatedly. I¡¯ve been in bed since I came home almost three hours ago and I can¡¯t make sense of what happened this afternoon at Seth¡¯s freakishly beautiful house. I get that I showed up unannounced, but that¡¯s not grounds for being a complete asshole. He sent me away like I was... nothing, like I was trash.


    I stopped crying a while ago, but my eyes are still heavy. He¡¯s made no contact yet. Nothing. Not even a fucking text apology. As that thought finishes, my phone vibrates and Seth¡¯s name flashes across my screen. My stomach drops. I¡¯ve been waiting for him to call me¡ªhoping he would, but now that he has... I¡¯m pissed it took him so long. I hit ignore and pull another pillow over my face. It vibrates again. My fingers dig into the pillow each time my phone makes a noise. A few more times and it stops. It vibrates twice quickly indicating a voicemail and I pick it up and dial my account. The monotonous robotic voice tells me the time and date of the call. I bite my nails nervously and I swear the robot is saying the numbers slowly just to mess with me. Then I hear Seth¡¯s voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m so fucking sorry, O. I didn¡¯t mean to flip out... I just saw you with my mom and I...¡± he exhales. ¡°I¡¯m freaking out here... I need you.¡±


    He hangs up and the robot asks me if I want to delete the message. I disconnect with it and drop my phone onto my bed. What am I going to do? I have no idea how to handle this situation... I¡¯ve never had to ¡®fix¡¯ things before. With Blade he would take off and come back later like nothing happened. Is that how it works? I chew my nails until they ache, thinking and driving myself crazy. I¡¯m still so mad... I can¡¯t talk to him right now because I¡¯ll say something stupid.


    Half an hour later and I¡¯m still contemplating my next step, but then my front door shakes under three soft knocks and all thoughts flee from my mind. Shit. It¡¯s probably Seth. Okay, not probably. I¡¯m one hundred percent sure it¡¯s Seth.


    I slide off my bed and make my way through the dark to the front door. I bite the inside of my cheek and I¡¯m surprised I haven¡¯t drawn blood. When I open the door Seth¡¯s gaze drags from the floor to my face. His brows are knitted together above his sad, sorry eyes and he rakes his teeth over his bottom lip before he asks me. ¡°Have you been crying?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I answer immediately, but even I can see through that.


    My eyes are puffy, I can feel it.


    ¡°Can I come in?¡±


    I flinch. ¡°You want me to show you the same courtesy that you neglected to show me today?¡± He doesn¡¯t say or do anything. ¡°No. Go home.¡±


    I step back and push the door closed, only when I turn around it bounces right back, colliding with the wall. I face Seth again and my eyes drop to his feet. The top of his shoe is in my apartment and for some reason it irritates me. ¡°I said go home.¡±


    ¡°You did, but I¡¯m not going anywhere. Not when I know you need me.¡± He leans against my door frame, respecting my boundaries and not entering my house. ¡°I know I hurt your feelings and I¡¯m so sorry. You just caught me off guard.¡±


    That¡¯s it? I caught him off guard? ¡°You sent me away like I was some kind of animal.¡± I hiss. ¡°It was¡ª¡±


    ¡°Disgusting. It was selfish and rude and I know I can¡¯t take it back, but at least let me apologize and make it up to you. I¡¯m here now... please.¡±


    I catch my lip between my teeth. He wants to make it up to me. I¡¯ve never had anyone want to make it up to me before. I¡¯ve been bought things that I don¡¯t want in an attempt, but I¡¯ve never had anyone want to talk and apologize properly to me.


    ¡°If I let you in, you have to tell me everything.¡±


    He nods and I ignore the hesitancy in it.


    ¡°Come in.¡±


    He steps through the door and kicks off his shoes. I walk into the kitchen and pull a cold bottle of water from the fridge. My throat is dry and I think it¡¯s because I¡¯m dehydrated... or it could be because I¡¯m about to have the first make up conversation of my life and I¡¯m nervous.

 Page 31

    I pull myself onto the bench as he leans against the fridge.Advertisement


    ¡°So that was your mom?¡± I ask, unscrewing the lid to my bottle and taking a long, satisfying drink.


    ¡°In the flesh.¡±


    I can sense that this is an uncomfortable topic for him, but I need to know what is really going on.


    ¡°She¡¯s beautiful.¡±


    ¡°On the outside, maybe.¡±


    ¡°I guess she¡¯s something you weren¡¯t ready to share with me...¡±


    Although I have no idea why.


    ¡°I never wanted you to meet her.¡±


    I frown and he speaks quickly.


    ¡°She¡¯s not normal.¡±


    I scoff. ¡°Have you met my mother?¡±


    "Okay, so maybe normal is the wrong word to use. She is a vindictive, selfish drunk and I¡¯m embarrassed you had to see that.¡±


    I slide off the bench and take a cautious step toward him.


    ¡°You can come to me.¡± He says, his lips twitching briefly. ¡°I¡¯m not going to send you away.¡±


    I run to his arms and they encircle me, pulling me tight against him. I bury my head closer into his chest and he plants two kisses on the top of my head.


    ¡°My mother wasn¡¯t always a drunk. She used to be amazing¡ªcaring, but then my dad died and she hasn¡¯t been the same since. It¡¯s like I¡¯ve become the parent. I¡¯m forever receiving calls to pick her up from the police station or the hospital and...¡± He exhales. ¡°I¡¯m just sick of it, you know.¡±


    I pull back to look up at his face. The thought of his mother really upsets him and I hate that I¡¯ve made him so uncomfortable, but I need to. He needs to see that it¡¯ll take a hell of a lot more to scare me off.


    ¡°She¡¯s still your mother, Seth.¡± I mumble.


    ¡°Which is why I put up with her, but I¡¯ve been too lenient¡ªgiven too many chances. She doesn¡¯t deserve it anymore.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Honestly, there¡¯s too much ground to cover. She¡¯s the reason my little sister moved out, the reason why I haven¡¯t been able to completely move on from my father¡¯s death¡ªshe reminds me of it every damn day and I¡¯m sick of dealing with her.¡± His arms let me go and he runs his fingers through his hair. ¡°When you left this afternoon I completely flipped out. I felt sick and I couldn¡¯t breathe...I jumped straight in my car to come here, but decided to go to the gym instead. I ran into your dad and he asked me if you found my address okay. Without a word I left the gym and I¡¯ve just been driving around for hours trying to think of ways to make it up to you.¡±


    His thumb drops to caress my cheek. ¡°I went to so many shops and looked at so many things I thought you¡¯d love, but halfway through I remembered that you don¡¯t like that. You don¡¯t need to be bought things to be happy.¡±


    I bury my face into his black jacket and a sense of peace washes over me. I¡¯ve finally found someone who understands me¡ªwho listens to me.


    ¡°But,¡± he says, running his finger along my cheek, drawing my face out of his jacket. ¡°I did manage come up with two things to make you happy.¡±


    I watch his face and his dark eyes, flare with pleasure like he knows for a fact it¡¯ll make me happy. ¡°After today¡ªand especially what you said in the car¡ªI realized there are too many things in this world that can drive us apart. Right now, we don¡¯t owe each other anything. If we want to go separate ways, we don¡¯t even have to supply the other with an explanation and I don¡¯t like that. I want to owe you things. I want to owe you explanations... I want us to be officially together¡ªtitles and all, if you really want.¡±


    My mouth drops open and all I give him in return is a wide-eyed stare. I¡¯m surprised he¡¯d do that for me. ¡°I wasn¡¯t expecting that...What happened to your ¡®I don¡¯t do girlfriends¡¯ thing.¡±


    His lips twitch. ¡°You happened.¡±


    Damn it. He¡¯s handsome and romantic. Sometimes, I really can¡¯t fault this guy.


    ¡°You do realize that means you¡¯re officially off the market.¡± I say, poking him in the hard stomach. The warm, wide palms of his hands cup my face and my breath hitches.


    ¡°Baby, I¡¯ve been off the market since the moments these cheeks turned the sexiest shade of pink.¡±


    Heat flares under my skin and I avert my gaze. ¡°And when was that?¡±


    ¡°When I caught you eye-fucking me.¡±


    I shove him and he lets go of my face. ¡°I did not.¡±


    He laughs loudly and squeezes me against him. ¡°You did. Admit it.¡±


    I did stare a little too long at him, but I certainly did not ¡®eye-fuck¡¯ him.


    ¡°Anyway,¡± He chuckles, kissing my nose. ¡°There¡¯s one more thing I want to do to make you happy, but we have to get into the car.¡±


    ¡°The car?¡±


    He nods. ¡°You don¡¯t have to bring anything. Let¡¯s just go to the car.¡±


    Seth¡¯s hands rest on my shoulders and he turns my still confused body to the door. He walks behind me, nudging me closer and closer to the exit.


    ¡°I¡¯m not dressed properly.¡± I say, glancing down at my short shorts and tank top. I shed the thin jacket ages ago. ¡°My shorts are too short.¡±


    He drops his hands from my shoulder and I jump when I feel a thick finger glide along the base of my ass cheek.


    ¡°I think they¡¯re perfect.¡± He growls.


    I feel his breath on my neck and I immediately moisten. I open the front door and before I know it. We¡¯re in his car and driving away from my house.


    I barely notice the buildings and streets we drive past. All of my attention is honed in on my thigh¡ªon the one spot Seth keeps circling with the rough tip of his index finger. It¡¯s painfully arousing and I have to bite back a gasp every time his circle gets glides over my inner thigh. When he removes his hand, my mind clears and I notice the turn off we just took is the exact same one I took earlier this afternoon.


    ¡°Seth...¡± I say, cautiously. ¡°Where are we going?¡±


    We¡¯re heading in the same direction as his house, but he wouldn¡¯t take me there. Would he?


    ¡°Is it not obvious?¡± He asks, raising his eyebrows at me. ¡°We¡¯re going to my house.¡±


    Seth glances sideways at me and thankfully there¡¯s not enough lighting for him to see how my fingers are nervously working the thin fabric of my tank top.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I said this will make you happy and trust me, it will.¡±


    Although I fail to see how, I nod anyway, putting all of my faith in him.


    The view of the houses at daytime blew my mind because they were so big and breathtaking. Now, they¡¯re beautiful and elegant. There¡¯s something peaceful about the way tea lights glow and illumine the walkways. I want tea lights for my house. When we turn and drive slowly down the slight slope of a driveway, he turns off the car and sits for a little while.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have to go in if you don¡¯t want to.¡± I tell him.


    Seth leaves the car and comes around to open my door. He extends his hand to me and I take it.


    ¡°We¡¯re going in.¡± He smiles at me.


    I try not to gape at the way he yellow lights glow beautiful along the chocolate walkway or the dark bricks of his house. It makes me crave chocolate cake and vanilla custard. Yum.


    Seth¡¯s fingers entwine with mine and I smile up at him. Seth. My boyfriend. How¡¯d that even happen? How¡¯d I get so lucky? He sticks his key in the front door and it opens without a creak. I stare down the long hallway. It¡¯s empty¡ªnot the kind of empty that looks terrible and plain. It''s the kind of empty that still manages to take your breath away. Seth¡¯s fingers slip from mine. ¡°You first.¡±


    I don¡¯t move. ¡°Is your mom home? I don¡¯t want to disturb her...¡±


    ¡°My mom is hardly home at night. Tonight is no different.¡±


    His hand slides to the small of my back and he presses on me. ¡°It¡¯s just us. Go on.¡±


    I step into the house and slip my sandals off by the door. Seth¡¯s hand claims mine again and he pulls me behind him up the long hallway. A few feet ahead the hallway stops and the living room begins¡ªdark leather couches, red and white rugs, a very large TV and strange sculptures¡ªit''s so much to take in. I¡¯ve never seen a house so... thought out. I know the outside is beautiful, but I was expecting the inside to be, well, boyish. You know, clothes and food everywhere, a strange old shoe smell and posters of naked girls. I avoided my brother¡¯s room at all costs for those reasons exactly.


    ¡°What, no posters of naked girls?¡± I tease.


    He laughs without looking at me. ¡°No, I¡¯m not twelve.¡±


    He drags me through the monstrous kitchen, filled with hanging pots and pans, steel bench tops with wooden accents and then down another hallway. This one isn¡¯t bare like the first hallway. It has paintings hanging along its white walls.


    ¡°I would have never guessed you like art.¡± I wonder aloud.


    ¡°They¡¯re my dads, actually.¡±


    Oh. ¡°Sorry.¡±


    He rolls his brown eyes at me. ¡°You have nothing to be sorry for.¡±


    Seth escorts me up a staircase into another mini lounge. A one hallway veers off in three different directions and he leads me down the one to the far left. He opens the door at the end.


    ¡°This is your room?¡±


    I let my mind wander as I gaze upon the impeccable cleanliness and organization of it. A huge king size bed looks alluring from the far corner of the room. The other side has a coffee table and two black leather couches that sit before an impressive wall mounted TV. A boxing bag hangs from the wooden banister in the middle of the room with a pair of blue boxing gloves slung over the top.


    ¡°Do you like it?¡±


    I shake and nod my head at the same time. ¡°It¡¯s big... and... beautiful.¡±


    He smiles cockily and I realize I just walked into one of those ¡®that¡¯s what she said¡¯ jokes. I scowl at him. ¡°Don¡¯t say it.¡±


    He flashes his large palms at me. ¡°I wasn¡¯t gonna.¡± He points to his couch. ¡°You sit right there, I¡¯ll be back.¡±


    Seth disappears through a door on the other side of the room and I fall into the couch. There¡¯s a nudey mag on the glass tabletop and I chuckle a little. This is definitely Seth¡¯s room. He peers around the door and gestures for me to come to him. Nervous as well as intrigued, I go to the door. He opens it wide as I approach and his hand takes mine. He pulls me into a bathroom and my eyes drag over the glass shower and two beautiful, square bowl sinks. They¡¯re nice, but the huge spa bath in front of me captures my complete attention. The water churns and creates thick bubbles as the water level rises.


    ¡°A bath?¡±


    Seth¡¯s fingers grasp the base of my shirt and I lift my arms while he pulls it over my head.


    ¡°Just for you.¡±


    His thumbs curl underneath the band of my shorts and he pushes them so they drop to the floor, taking my underwear with them. The warm steam that emits from the bath floats over to kiss my skin.


    I turn to Seth. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to run me a bath. I was being silly.¡±


    He smiles, running the very tips of his fingers along my stomach. ¡°So a bath wouldn¡¯t make you happy?¡±


    ¡°It would but¡ªah!¡± He effortlessly scoops me up into his arms and carries me to the bath. My toes dip into the scorching water first, followed slowly by the rest of my body. When I¡¯m in my body grows accustomed to the temperature.


    ¡°You¡¯re not joining me?¡± I ask Seth, pulling bubbles over to me to cover my breasts.


    ¡°No, I want you to enjoy it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d enjoy it a lot more if you were in here with me.¡±


    He shakes his head.


    I try again. ¡°It would make me happier, if you were in here with me.¡±


    His teeth sweep over his bottom lip and with a heavy exhale, he shrugs out of his jacket. I watch, getting a little bit too excited when he pulls his shirt over his head, exposing all of his intricate patterned tattoos and deliciously smooth skin. His finger hooks around the button to his jeans and he slides them off. I pull my knees into my chest as he steps in. He hisses at the temperature, but once the water submerges his body he relaxes. There¡¯s a lot of space between us so I slide toward him and he happily pulls me in between his legs. My back rests against his front and I close my eyes as Seth¡¯s warm lips press against the back of my neck, sending a tidal wave of pleasure through me.


    ¡°I¡¯m enjoying the bath more already.¡± I groan, feeling him smile against my skin.


    His hands trail downwards, gently grazing my breasts.


    ¡°Your house is very nice.¡± I state. ¡°I have no idea how you were able to stomach my tiny apartment.¡±


    ¡°Your apartment is cozy. I¡¯ve never had a better night¡¯s sleep than when I¡¯m there with you.¡±


    His words are sweet, filling me with a strange warmth and making me smile.


    ¡°You said you want to owe me explanations, right?¡± I ask, trying to make myself feel better about what I¡¯m going to ask next.


    He doesn¡¯t say anything, only nods.


    ¡°How are you able to afford such a place?¡±


    His index finger traces circles along my side, making my nipples harden. ¡°Well, in Seattle my dad was a surgeon and my mom was a lawyer. Together, they made a lot of money and were very smart about their decisions... when my dad died and my mom went off the edge, I was put in charge of finances for the sake of my sister.¡±


    ¡°What made you move to Portland?¡±


    ¡°My mom hit breaking point. She promised me she¡¯d get better, but the only city offering the program I wanted to put her in was here in Maine. She¡¯s yet to attend her first session.¡±

 Page 32

    ¡°And your sister? Does she live here too?¡±Advertisement


    ¡°No, Maddi is in Las Vegas living it up with her rockstar boyfriend.¡± His tone turns aggressive toward the end. ¡°She used to, but my mother and her didn¡¯t get along.¡±


    Underneath me, I feel Seth become a little tense and I think I¡¯ve reached maximum questions point. The last thing I want to do is push when he¡¯s been so willing to answer my questions. I stroke him, letting my nails create a random pattern on his legs. Behind me, low against my back, I become aware of just how much he likes it and I smile. I twist myself in the water until my front his flush up against his. I slide my soapy body up against his firm torso, pressing my lips against his chest and then his neck. He moans when I flick my tongue out to taste his jaw and he snags my lip between his teeth when I kiss him. My hand slides up his thigh, but his hand quickly shoots down, catching my wrist.


    ¡°I thought you wanted a bath?¡± He teases me, cocking his head to the side.


    Feeling bold, I say. ¡°Can¡¯t I have both?¡±


    He brings his mouth closer to mine and my heartbeat kicks up a notch. My insides clench in anticipation, just waiting for Seth to put his hands on me.


    ¡°You¡¯re insatiable.¡± He chuckles, his lips lightly grazing mine.


    ¡°I am when it comes to you.¡±


    His dark eyes flare, pleased with my response and his full lips crash to mine. His fingers move steadily upward to graze the delicate skin of my sides as his moist tongue sweeps across my bottom lip. With a rush of hot arousal, my mouth opens instantly to his, and he wastes no time in darting his tongue inside. My pulse hammers through my veins like it always does when we¡¯re intimate. Seth¡¯s hands explore the curve of my waist before gripping my ass and pulling me higher onto him. The feel of his hard, firm hands against my body drives me crazy, and there¡¯s no way I can stop the whimper that escapes me. The sound of my moan echos against the walls, floating around us and I can feel him hard and ready between my thighs. Knowing he¡¯s there makes me tremble with pleasure and I push my body harder against his as his hand slides down my body, tightening around my hip. A delicious tingling begins to spread across my chest, and I groan with eagerness as my arousal begins to throb ruthlessly between my legs. Seth pulls his mouth away from mine and focuses on my face as he slides a hand between us. I lift my hips while he strokes my center with his erection. I time it perfectly and as it passes directly under me, I drop down and sheathe him all the way to the base.


    ¡°Fuck!¡± Seth gasps, grabbing both my hips with devastating pressure. Water splashes and rises all around us as I bounce and grind my hips into his. I keep my eyes on his face, completely mesmerized by his expression¡ªdark, hungry, and wickedly pleased. His attention is on my breasts. They¡¯re full and glistening in the light of the bathroom. He leans forward slightly, pulling my hard nipple into his mouth and my back arches. He abruptly releases my nipple and turns his attention to my face.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get out.¡± He breathes, digging his fingers into my thighs. ¡°I want to have you in my bed.¡±


    I run my tongue along his bottom lip, rocking against him slowly. I kiss his nose once and slide off of him. Water trickles off of his body and the water level drops as he steps out. I turn the tap off and follow him from the bath. My hair is still dry so my towel drying time is thankfully cut in half. Laughter escapes me as he scoops me up in his arms and carries me back into the room. I look into his face, marveling at the gentle strength in his countenance. He places me on his large bed and I seize his neck with my arms, pulling him down on top of me. His laughter and subsequent growls quicken my heartbeat as we playfully tussle with each other. I run my fingers through his soft hair while his mouth explores my neck and my chest. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pull him as close to me as I can.


    ¡°Please.¡± I moan, thrusting my hips upwards.


    ¡°You want it?¡± He breathes into my neck, positioning himself at my entrance.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I hiss.


    He laughs once as he forcefully thrusts into me, sending a hot jolt of pleasure shooting through my body. He doesn¡¯t hesitate between thrusts, and in no time he¡¯s slamming into me¡ªhis body colliding with mine at a fast pace.


    ¡°So good...¡± He growls, nipping at the flesh on my collarbone.


    A familiar pressure builds up inside me increasing with every thrust, causing me to squirm underneath him. Another swear word falls from his lips and it sinks right down to my stomach, pushing me closer to the edge.


    ¡°Seth! Yes!" I cry as my release closes in on me, causing my toes to curl.


    He thrusts harder and my climax suddenly rips through me. The unbearable heat of my orgasm pulses mercilessly through my center. At the same time, Seth swears loudly as he thrusts himself inside me once more and I feel his length pulse wildly inside my depths. As soon as the heat releases us, Seth pulls out of me and my entire body feels weak and mushy. He lies beside me and my body instantly relaxes against him. He places his fingers against my chin, turning my head so he can kiss me. I smile as his lips brush mine. He drops his head, holding me to his body and I feel his chest rise and fall with his steady breaths.


    ¡°Tell me,¡± I breathe. ¡°After everything we¡¯ve done, do you still think I¡¯m a good girl?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯re a good girl.¡± He kisses my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m convinced you are.¡±


    ¡°How so?¡±


    I feel him shrug. ¡°You don¡¯t see yourself like I do. You don¡¯t see the way your cheeks turn pink when I say or do inappropriate things. You can¡¯t hear the sweet, innocent tone in your voice when you say things... but I do.¡±


    My heart swells in my chest. Seth knows me like no one else has. The sweetest thing Blade has ever said to me came on a card written by someone in a factory. How have I missed out on this? How did I stay with Blade with for so long? Seth¡¯s coarse finger draws shapes on my hip pulling me from my thoughts.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± He says.


    ¡°For?¡±


    ¡°For letting me make it up to you. All afternoon I had your hurt expression stuck in my brain and it was fucking destroying me.¡±


    I smile and close my eyes. Soon, Seth¡¯s hand stops moving and his breathing became heavy. Subsequently, I find my own thoughts drifting while Seth¡¯s strong arms lull me to sleep.


    ¡°O?¡±


    I hear the sound of my nickname and I open my eyes, but it doesn¡¯t quite register with my brain. I close my eyes again. I¡¯m warm, sleepy and content. I don¡¯t want to be doing anything else. A finger brushes softly over my cheek.


    ¡°Olivia?¡± I hear again.


    I open my eyes for a second time. It¡¯s dark, but I can just make out Seth¡¯s silhouette above me. His knuckle gently teases my cheek and I pull myself into a seated position. After a few seconds my vision adjusts to the darkness and I notice Seth is fully clothed with his car keys in his hand.


    ¡°Is everything okay?¡± I ask, my voice husky with sleep.


    ¡°I want you to come with me to pick up my mom.¡± There¡¯s a lace of frustration to his tone. ¡°I¡¯d never ask, but seeing as we¡¯re a couple now... we should do things together, right? No matter how shit it is?¡±


    His Mom? Is she okay? I swallow my rising worry and nod. ¡°Right.¡±


    I throw back the blankets. And slide out of bed. Seth walks over to the wall and flicks the light on and I squint under the sudden harshness.


    ¡°I laid your clothes over the back of the couch.¡± He smiles at me as I stand naked.


    I slide my clothes on piece by piece and run my fingers through my hair, barely managing to pull out all of the knots. ¡°Where¡¯s your mom?¡±


    He taps his fingers against his jeans. ¡°She¡¯s at the police station.¡±


    I stiffen. ¡°At the police station? What do we do? Do you need to call a lawyer or¡ª¡±


    ¡°This is normal. I know the deputy at the station. I¡¯ll pick her up and bring her home.¡±


    ¡°And that¡¯s it?¡±


    He gives me a tight smile. ¡°That¡¯s it.¡±


    ¡°So this isn¡¯t new?¡± I exhale, relaxing slightly.


    ¡°Sadly, no. This will be the fourth time since moving to Portland that I¡¯ve had to pick her up from a police station.¡±


    ¡°And the deputy just calls you?¡±


    ¡°Yep.¡±


    I recall Seth taking phone calls before... once on the night he refused to have sex with me and once on the night we went out for dinner. He had to leave in a hurry. I feel sorry for him. He shouldn¡¯t have to drop everything going on in his life to pick up his drunken mother. It¡¯s not right.


    I follow closely behind him as we walk through the large house and out the front door. Seth doesn¡¯t speak the whole way to the police station. When I look at him, his jaw is always tense, always working against itself.


    ¡°Why do you put up with it?¡± I question him.


    ¡°Because she¡¯s my mother...¡± he runs his fingers through his hair. ¡°I feel like I owe it to her, I guess. I wasn¡¯t the greatest kid.¡±


    His words upset me. He¡¯s still the son, not the parent. His mother should be taking care of the finances and the house. Not Seth.


    We roll up in front of the Police Station and we climb out. It isn¡¯t a headquarters or anything, just a small station. Seth¡¯s fingers entwine with mine as he pulls me along beside him. Inside, the station smells of beer and hospital cleaner. A few tired people litter the waiting room and they eye us as we walk right up to the service desk.


    ¡°Hey Seth,¡± The officer extends his hand to Seth and he takes it. ¡°Your mom is more upset than usual.¡±


    Seth chuckles nervously. ¡°I better get her home then.¡±


    ¡°No problem. She¡¯s been asleep for the last hour.¡±


    The officer steps out from behind the desk and gestures for Seth to follow him. He turns to me. ¡°Wait here, okay?¡±


    I nod.


    Seth and the officer disappear around the corner, leaving me alone. I¡¯m uncomfortable. I¡¯ve never been inside a police station before and hopefully I never have to again. I don¡¯t like feeling like I¡¯ve done something wrong. I even get nervous when I walk past a police officer in the mall or in the street. I¡¯m lame, I know.


    Seth reappears cradling his sleeping mother. She¡¯s not wearing the same outfit I saw her in this afternoon. She has traded the dress suit for a pair of black slacks, a pretty purple silk top and a pair of killer violet heels. Her long, black hair cascades over Seth¡¯s arm and hangs loosely in the air. Seth walks past me, flicking his head toward the exit sign. I follow closely behind and I open the back door for him so he can lay his mother down on the back seat.


    It took us a little while to get back to Seth¡¯s house. He was going under the speed limit to avoid waking his mother. It didn¡¯t matter. Once we pull into the driveway and the car turns off, his mom speaks.


    ¡°Sethy?¡± She whispers. ¡°Did you have to pick me up again?¡±


    My heart melts at her nickname for him. It¡¯s adorable and I imagine she¡¯s been calling him that since the day he was born. I look at Seth. His face is stormy and frustrated.


    ¡°Yes.¡± He replies. His tone is cold and lacking any empathy.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± she sobs. ¡°I was on my way to the program. I swear I was going to go this time.¡±


    Seth climbs out of the car without replying. He opens the back door and extends his hand to his mom. I open my own door and slide out. When I walk over to the other side, his mother is already halfway out of the car.


    She smiles drunkenly at me. ¡°Natasha?¡±


    ¡°Olivia.¡± Seth corrects her, becoming increasingly frustrated.


    ¡°Seth, it¡¯s okay.¡± I mutter.


    ¡°Olivia.¡± She slurs. ¡°Right.¡±


    His mom looks up at him as she slides the rest of her body out of the car. Seth wraps an arm around her waist supporting her weight like she¡¯s no heavier than a child. She turns back to me. ¡°I¡¯m Vanessa.¡± She gestures to her face and body. ¡°I¡¯m not usually like this.¡±


    Seth''s expression darkens and he shakes his head. He¡¯s an expert at holding his tongue. He is yet to say something to upset her.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you to bed.¡± He says, pulling her toward the house. When we go inside, I linger along behind them, all the way up the stairs and to his mom¡¯s room. I don¡¯t go inside. I¡¯ve invaded enough personal space for tonight. I lean against the wall by the door frame, my gaze focusing on a painting of a cute bamboo tree.


    ¡°Sethy?¡± I hear her call to him. ¡°I was planning on making myself better tonight...¡±


    His voice comes in low. ¡°And what happened?¡±


    ¡°I-I got to the doors and I couldn¡¯t go in... I panicked. I didn¡¯t want to admit that I¡¯ve been such a failure.¡±


    I strain my ear for his response, but it doesn¡¯t come.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go tomorrow... I promise.¡±


    ¡°Okay, good night.¡±


    Seth steps out of the room and closes the door behind him. I give him no indication that I heard everything. I don¡¯t want him to be embarrassed. I wrap my hands around his arm and snuggle in close as we walk towards his room. When we¡¯re inside and tucked back into bed, he pulls me into his bare chest.


    ¡°I hope that was okay for you.¡± He mutters in my ear.


    After all of that, how can he possibly be worrying about me? ¡°It was. I¡¯m glad she is home and safe.¡±


    His hands squeeze me as he settles his head closer to my neck. ¡°Me too.¡±


    Seth¡¯s deep voice wakes me up again. ¡°Olivia.¡± He almost sings it in a happy tune. ¡°You have work.¡±

 Page 33

    My eyes shoot open and I sit up, letting half of the blanket fall to the floor. How¡¯d I forget that I have work this morning? ¡°What¡¯s the time?¡±Advertisement


    I leap out of bed and my toes dig into the lush carpet as I run to the bathroom. I really need to pee. When I wash my hands and step back into the room, Seth is lying on back on his bed in a pair of his fighting shorts¡ªthe ones with the slits up the side¡ªand a white t-shirt.


    ¡°Relax,¡± he smiles. ¡°It¡¯s still early. I was thinking we could have breakfast, go to the gym and then take you to work.¡±


    Wow. He has it all planned out. ¡°Do I have time for all that?¡± I ask, searching one of his walls for a clock. I find nothing.


    He sits up. ¡°It¡¯s only five. You have four hours until work and I¡¯m already late for training now let¡¯s go.¡±


    I follow him downstairs and the smell of meat and eggs are overwhelming¡ªnauseatingly overwhelming. Sure enough, there are two big steaks bleeding all over each other in the frying pan and a fresh bowl of scrambled eggs sitting in the middle of the breakfast bar beside a pitcher of orange juice and a stack of buttered toast.


    ¡°Are you hungry?¡± He asks proudly, taking charge of the stove and shuffling the steaks around. Of course he¡¯s excited about cooking me breakfast, making me feel even more like a douche bag.


    ¡°Steak? I thought fighter¡¯s drink all of those random shakes.¡±


    He laughs. ¡°We do that too.¡±


    His spatula slides underneath the thick slab of meat and the juice and blood run off it as he lays it on a plate and slides it across the bench. Oh, God. It stops right in front of me and I almost gag.


    ¡°Seth,¡± I groan pushing the plate away. ¡°Do you have fruit or yogurt? Anything other than meat and eggs?¡± I feel rude. He obviously got up early to do this for me.


    His brown eyes widen and he¡¯s looking at me like I¡¯m crazy. ¡°You don¡¯t like steak?¡±


    ¡°I do, just not early in the morning.¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± He announces opening the fridge. ¡°You¡¯re in luck because I have loads of fresh fruit and yogurt.¡±


    He places apples, oranges, a container of blueberries and some strawberries on the counter. He reaches back into the fridge and pulls out a tub of Greek yogurt. I watch him effortlessly maneuver his way around the kitchen as he pulls the bowl from a cupboard and brings it over to me. I scoop yogurt and blueberries into my bowl while Seth eats his steak.


    ¡°Will your mom be joining us for breakfast?¡± I ask when I¡¯m halfway through my food.


    He shakes his head. ¡°She won¡¯t be up until this afternoon.¡±


    He stuffs the last piece of steak in his mouth and takes his plate, dropping it in the sink. He washes his mouth and I slide my bowl over to him.


    I put on my tennis shoes and join Seth in the car.


    ¡°Can you swing by my place so I can grab a change of clothing for work?¡±


    ¡°Can do, baby.¡± He laughs, pulling out of the driveway.


    He¡¯s very chipper this morning, very upbeat. After last night I assumed he¡¯d be down in the dumps today. ¡°You¡¯re happy,¡± I state. ¡°I like it.¡±


    ¡°I have no reasons to be unhappy today. Normally, when I pick my mother up from the police station I go to the gym as soon as it opens and smash the bag for a while. This morning, however, I woke up to your pretty face and I remembered that you are my girlfriend.¡± He smiles sideways at me and reaches across to squeeze my thigh. ¡°It¡¯s going to be a good day.¡±


    Heat spreads throughout my chest and into my cheeks at the thought of him waking up so happy, and for no other reason other than I¡¯m his girlfriend. It¡¯s sweet. It¡¯s sickeningly sweet and I love it. It makes me feel special and who doesn¡¯t like feeling special?


    We didn¡¯t spend too long at my house. Seth waited in the car while I ran inside and grabbed a sweater, a pair of black slacks and some short black heels. I made sure I grabbed my make-up bag and hair brush, too. I also managed to stuff some tights and a t-shirt into my backpack so I can work out. When we get to the gym, Seth¡¯s coach Darryl is all over him, chastising him for being late and unprofessional. Jackson is also here, leaning against the wall shaking his head at us in disapproval. I split off, leaving Seth to deal with his pissed off team and head to the shower room. I change into my clothes and come back out. Seth is in the boxing ring with his sparring partner. I avert my gaze as Seth¡¯s fist is about to connect with the other guy¡¯s face. I don¡¯t see it, but I hear the guy hit the floor and I cringe, picturing everything in my head.


    ¡°Olly!¡± Dad calls from his window. I look up and see him hanging halfway out his window to talk to me. The thought of him falling makes me nervous.


    ¡°Hi, Dad.¡±


    ¡°Hold on,¡± he smiles. ¡°I¡¯ll come down.¡±


    I scuff my shoes along the mat while I wait for him. He rounds the corner looking all cheery and alert. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since you¡¯ve come to the gym.¡± He says, pulling me into a hug.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve been busy. But I¡¯m here today.¡±


    Dad slings a heavy arm over my shoulder, walking me toward the ring. I glance sideways at him and see one French fry poking out of his pocket. I pull it out and glare at him. ¡°You¡¯re supposed to be eating healthy. You know, for the sake of your heart.¡±


    He flicks the fry from my hand and changes the subject. ¡°Your mom and I came to your place last night, but you weren¡¯t home.¡±


    My cheeks heat up and I feel uncomfortable telling him I was at Seth¡¯s.


    ¡°Sorry, Rick.¡± Seth pants, smiling confidently down at us from the ring. ¡°She was with me.¡±


    Shouldn¡¯t Darryl be here making sure Seth is paying attention to training, instead of intruding on my conversations? I look around the gym. Darryl is talking into his phone, his face serious and focused on a spot on the mat. Jackson is leaning on Darryl, trying to get in on the conversation. I turn my attention back to Seth and Dad.


    ¡°Well, do you want to tell him?¡± Seth asks. ¡°Or should I?¡±


    ¡°Tell him what?¡±


    ¡°That we¡¯re together, officially.¡±


    I smile, coyly. ¡°Oh, right. Yeah. Dad we¡¯re dating now, so...¡±


    Dad¡¯s thin lips curl up into a wide smile and in turn it makes me smile. He seems so young, so happy. ¡°That¡¯s great!¡± Dad laughs, slapping me on the shoulder. ¡°Maybe someday soon I¡¯ll have Seth Marc as my son in law.¡±


    Seth and I chuckle nervously¡ªI even think we both flushed. Neither one of us are thinking that far ahead. I turn from them both and head to the treadmill. If I stay and chat, I¡¯ll never get any exercise time in and God knows my Dad can chat forever if he really wants to. I stretch a little, start up the treadmill and jog at a brisk pace. Every now and then I¡¯ll look over at Seth training with his team. When he spars, my Dad is in the ring with him. His eyes wide like a kid in a candy store as he chats to Seth. The spar partner lies on the floor before Seth¡¯s feet and Seth gives him his arm. I watch curiously as my dad inaudibly tells Seth what to do. The spar partner wraps his legs around Seth¡¯s arm and pulls tightly. I wince, picturing the strain on the elbow. My dad crouches on the floor, talking¡ªalways talking. Seth nods in agreement and lifts the spar partner off the floor before slamming him back down. The guy lets go off Seth¡¯s arm and Dad pats his back, happy with the result. Darryl and Jackson are setting up mats in the training room. I stop my treadmill. I want to see what they¡¯re doing. I only ever see Seth boxing or sparring. I never see him actually work out. I peer around the door and I¡¯m surprised when I see only a few chin-up bars in the room.


    ¡°What, no tractor tires?¡± I ask Jackson.


    Jackson shakes his head and straightens a might on the floor. ¡°Not this year.¡±


    ¡°Seth works on a body weight program.¡± Darryl chimes in. ¡°Meaning he doesn¡¯t lift excess weight, only his own.¡±


    That¡¯s still a lot of weight. ¡°So what exactly does he do?¡±


    ¡°Every day, Seth does five sets of as many push-ups as he can, repping out until he reaches muscular failure. He will recover for 60 seconds and then begin his next set of push ups.¡± He points to the chin up bar. ¡°Three days a week he does five sets of max rep chin-ups and some body weight squats. Running, skipping and other exercises are worked in there, too.¡±


    ¡°So no weights, no bells or machines? That¡¯s a little simple for a fighter, isn¡¯t it?¡± I have no idea. I¡¯m just going off what I¡¯ve seen from my dad¡¯s DVDs.


    ¡°Seth likes a more... ¡®Rocky¡¯ type of work out and despite its simplicity; it¡¯s a remarkably balanced program. If he makes pro then we might look at introducing machines.¡±


    Darryl has it all figured out and I¡¯m impressed. ¡°Chin-ups aren¡¯t that hard though.¡± I state. ¡°I can do at least seven.¡±


    Both Darryl and Jackson crack up like I¡¯ve said the funniest joke in the world. It¡¯s not a polite chuckle, it¡¯s a hard out head back, and teeth showing kind of laugh. I¡¯m quite proud of my ability to do seven chin-ups. It used to be five.


    ¡°Seven?¡± Darryl squeezes my bicep between his thumb and index. ¡°That¡¯s three more than what I assumed you could do.¡±


    I feign insult and fold my arms across my chest. ¡°And how many can you do?¡±


    ¡°A hell of a lot more than seven.¡±


    ¡°Prove it.¡± I say. Darryl


    doesn¡¯t look like much. Sure he¡¯s lean and probably muscular under the shirt, but he doesn¡¯t look like he has that much strength behind him.


    ¡°Okay,¡± He hands Jackson his clipboard and stopwatch. ¡°You and me. We¡¯ll take a bar each and the first one to stop loses.¡±


    ¡°Done.¡±


    ¡°Hold up,¡± He extends his hand to me. ¡°Let¡¯s make it interesting. If I win, you¡¯ll stop making Seth show up late to training. If you win¡ª¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll wear a dress to the next fight.¡± The words flew out of my mouth before I had a chance to think.


    His dark lips smirk at me. ¡°Deal.¡±


    We shake hands and approach the bars. Jackson joins us, counting us in. When the word ¡®go¡¯ falls from his lips, Darryl and I start with the chin-ups. Almost immediately my arms start burning and my muscles tremble. My lungs burn with lack of oxygen because I¡¯m holding my breath every time I pull myself up. I can hear Darryl breathing rhythmically and I realize this is a no brainer. He¡¯s going to beat me. I lower myself and use all my strength to slowly pull myself up. Jackson is laughing, having the time of his life watching us. Beside me, Darryl is pulling himself up and down quickly, like it¡¯s the easiest things he has ever done. My arms are going to let go. I can feel it. Screw it. I let the bar fall from my hands and I land with two feet on the floor. My muscles spasm under my skin and I lie down flat on my back on the cool mats. Darryl leans over me, hardly out of breath.


    ¡°I did eight.¡± I groan proudly.


    He extends his hand to me and I take it. My arms feel like jelly. They feel as though they are going to separate from my body and float away any second now.


    ¡°Well done,¡± He smiles. ¡°Now stop making my boy late.¡±


    I roll my eyes. ¡°You and I both know nobody can make Seth do anything he doesn¡¯t want to.¡±


    Dad¡¯s laughter catches my attention as he and Seth enter the room.


    ¡°Darryl and Olivia just went head to head in a chin-up contest.¡± Jackson announces, pulling his green shirt over his head and exposing a lot more muscle than I assumed he had. ¡°Olivia lost, obviously.¡± He chuckles and I scowl at him.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t really lose.¡± I state. ¡°I can do eight chin-ups now instead of seven.¡±


    Laughter erupts from everyone and I huff. I guess seven isn¡¯t brag worthy after all.


    ¡°Anyway,¡± Darryl publicizes. ¡°I received a call from the MMAC earlier and they¡¯ve announced your match up with Joshua Donskov in seven days. You know the rules. No sex. No bad fats and no sugars. The fight is in Boston. Win that and you¡¯ll fight Don Russell for the pro contract in Las Vegas a week later.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t wait to see you knock Josh Donskov on his ass.¡± Dad cheers and dread fills my stomach.


    My dad can¡¯t go to Boston because I can¡¯t go to Boston to keep an eye on him. Mason will fire me if I ask for anymore time off. I¡¯ve asked for too much already. Jackson, Dad and Darryl enter a discussion about Josh Donskov and his ¡®brawler¡¯ technique. I pull Seth over to the side.


    ¡°Dad can¡¯t go to Boston...¡± I whisper to him.


    His warm hands rub my arms and my shoulders, massaging me. ¡°Between the two of us we should be able to look after him.¡±


    I almost wince. He assumes I¡¯ll be going to Boston with him. ¡°Seth, I¡¯m not going with you to Boston¡­¡±


    His dark brows knit together. ¡°You¡¯ve been to two of my fights. Surely, it¡¯s easier for you now.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not about the fighting. It¡¯s about my work. I have a job and I¡¯ve taken too much time off already. I rely on my job to pay for rent, food and a million other things.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll cover all those things for a little while. It¡¯s not a big deal.¡±


    It¡¯s not a big deal? It¡¯s a very big deal. I¡¯m an adult which mean I am responsible for certain things. ¡°Mason will probably fire me if¡ª¡±


    ¡°So let him fire you.¡±


    ¡°Let him fire me?¡± I don¡¯t sound angry which is how I feel. ¡°Let him fire me? Are you insane? I need my job.¡±

 Page 34

    Seth¡¯s eyes darken and his lips morph into a straight, impassive line. All attention is on us.Advertisement


    ¡°Dad,¡± I growl at him unintentionally. ¡°You are not going to Boston. You are staying here in Portland with me. Your blood pressure is high and you need to start taking it seriously.¡±


    ¡°Olly¡ª¡±


    ¡°Seth, tell him he can¡¯t go.¡±


    I don¡¯t look at him, but I can feel his heated stare on my face. He exhales and turns to my father. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Rick.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not serious?¡± He scoffs. ¡°All because some crazy doctor thinks my blood pressure is high?¡± He throws his hands up in the air before storming from the room. I turn to Seth¡ªhe¡¯s angry, but I¡¯m angrier.


    ¡°I need to have a shower and get ready for work so I can pay rent next week. Let me know when you¡¯re finished here.¡± I mutter, marching after my father.


    Dad¡¯s pissed and in his office. I know because the blind is down. Whenever the blind is blocking the window, he doesn¡¯t want to see anyone which is fine by me.


    My fingers tangle in my hair and I hiss every time my scalp burns because of it. I thought the shower would help me, but I¡¯m still pissed. So let him fire you. Pfft. It¡¯s like my job isn¡¯t a big deal for him. Fine, I might not make as much money as him, but that doesn¡¯t mean my job isn¡¯t important. I squeeze soap onto a washcloth and hastily rub under my arms and over my breasts. The smell of grapefruit and pomegranate soothes me a little, taking away some of my agitation. Dad is going to be pissed at me for a while, but I know Mom will have my back, for once.


    There¡¯s a knock on my door and I shake my head. This is the ladies shower room. Luckily the gym is closed and I¡¯m the only one in here.


    ¡°I¡¯m showering.¡± My door rattles and then unlocks. Seth steps in with his frustrated expression. ¡°Please, come in anyway.¡±


    ¡°You think those words would make me go the other way?¡±


    I shrug.


    ¡°I¡¯ve pissed you off.¡±


    ¡°Am I that obvious?¡±


    He drops his shorts and kicks them to the side. ¡°Don¡¯t be like that.¡±


    I hand him my cloth and he squeezes soap onto it. He makes trails of sweet smelling bubbles all over his skin as he washes it. I stand under the hot stream, letting the water run all of the soap from my body.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d have to force you to come to my fights now that you¡¯re my girlfriend.¡± He isn¡¯t even looking at me. His eyes are on the sponge as it circles his stomach.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d have to quit my job and become some sad, dependent female that you carry around with you everywhere.¡±


    His gaze snaps to my face. ¡°Is that how you really feel?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Not usually, but this morning I¡¯m starting to wonder.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not about dependence. It¡¯s about support. You ease me and I want you to be there when I win.¡±


    I sigh, stepping out of the flow of water so he can step under to rinse off the bubbles.


    ¡°I can¡¯t be there every time. It¡¯s unrealistic.¡±


    I try my hardest to keep my eyes on his. It¡¯s painful not looking everywhere else.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be travelling a lot, Olivia and I want you with me¡ªevery time.¡±


    I¡¯m trying to be as kind as I can, but I¡¯m still too angry. ¡°Yeah, well, we don¡¯t always what we want.¡±


    I pull my towel out of my bag and run it over my wet body, drying up all of the droplets. ¡°It¡¯s not too late to back out you know.¡± I tell him, referring to our relationship.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere.¡± He shuts off the shower and I hand him my towel.


    ¡°You¡¯re persistent.¡±


    ¡°Spoiled.¡± He smiles, correcting me. ¡°I¡¯m used to getting what I want.¡±


    Seth insisted on walking me to my desk this morning, much to Mason¡¯s dismay. Since then he hasn¡¯t done anything besides bark orders at me. I¡¯ve pissed him off big time and I know exactly why.


    ¡°Excuse me,¡± an elderly woman demands. She tucks a short white curl around her ear. The patients have been extra bitchy today. ¡°I¡¯ve been sitting in this waiting room for an hour. My appointment was meant to be forty minutes ago.¡± She doesn¡¯t say anything offensive or bitchy, but it¡¯s all in her annoying, high-pitched tone. I fight the urge to scowl and I smile warmly at her instead.


    ¡°Thank you for being so patient.¡± Yeah right. ¡°You''re up next. Dr. Peterson won¡¯t be much longer.¡±


    With an elongated sigh, she turns away from me. Mason exits the therapy room with a patient. The man who goes by the name of Gary Voss, keeps his head down and nervously strolls from the office. The elderly woman jumps to her feet as Mason calls her into the therapy room and he brings Gary Voss¡¯s analysis sheet over to me.


    ¡°File this.¡± He slides it onto my desk and leaves. I do as I¡¯m told and without a peek it goes into the file.


    When he¡¯s done with the woman and she leaves, I realize there¡¯s no one else booked in until mid this afternoon. In my pocket my phone vibrates. I take it out and glance at the screen. Seth. I hit ignore. I can¡¯t talk right now. Besides, we didn¡¯t really talk after the shower at the gym and I don¡¯t want to piss Mason off even more. Speaking of Mason, he steps out of his office, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his black slacks.


    ¡°How was Concord?¡± He asks friendly enough. His blond brows are furrowed slightly, but I know he¡¯s trying to clear things up between us.


    ¡°Good.¡± I reply. ¡°Selena and I spent a lot of time together, so it was nice.¡±


    My phone vibrates again, making a muffled buzzing sound.


    ¡°You¡¯re phone is buzzing.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m at work. It will have to wait.¡±


    Mason''s lips curve into a playful smile. ¡°Are you feeling okay? When have you ever ignored a text or phone call at work?¡±


    ¡°Well, I owe you now. You¡¯ve put up with a lot of my...¡± Damn. I can¡¯t find the right word.


    ¡°Shit.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡± I chuckle. ¡°It¡¯s time I give a little back and act like a proper employee.¡±


    He leans on my desk and just like that the animosity between us is gone.


    ¡°Please, don¡¯t start doing what I hired you to do on my account.¡±


    I laugh. ¡°I¡¯m not that bad!¡±


    My phone starts up again, vibrating against my thigh.


    ¡°Answer it. I¡¯ll ignore it just this once.¡±


    I smile gratefully at him and pull my phone out of my pocket. It¡¯s Seth again. I tilt my screen toward me slightly, so Mason doesn¡¯t see.


    ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°Olivia, Jesus Christ!¡± His deep, furious voice startles me. Even Mason heard it. His eyebrows raise a little and his jaw tightens. ¡°Why haven¡¯t you been answering your God damned phone?¡±


    I feel my cheeks heat up and my heart rapidly pumps blood through my veins. What could have him so wound up? He seems desperate and worried. His voice makes my stomach tighten, threatening to push up the blueberries and yogurt that I had for breakfast.


    ¡°I¡¯m at work, remember. What¡¯s going on? Why are you so mad?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± He takes a deep, calming breath. ¡°Your dad has had a heart attack...¡±


    Chapter Sixteen


    My heart stills and my throat constricts. I start sweating¡ªa cold sweat that slides from the nape of my neck right down my back and I swallow thickly as tears well in my eyes.


    ¡°Olivia?¡± Seth says my name as tears spill over the brim.


    ¡°Is-is he okay?¡±


    I bite my bottom lip too hard and I immediately taste blood. Mason leans forward, but I can¡¯t see him. All I see is my father¡¯s angry face.


    ¡°He¡¯s alive and he¡¯s in the Portland hospital. I¡¯m here with him and your mom. Do you want me to come get you?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯ll be there soon.¡± I don''t want Seth to drive all the way here and then back to the hospital. I hang up and wipe the tears off my cheek.


    ¡°Is everything okay?¡±


    Far from it. I shake my head. ¡°I need a ride to the hospital. My dad had a heart attack.¡±


    Mason jogs to his office and grabs his jacket and keys. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    I rise unsteadily from my chair still in total shock. I¡¯m glad my dad is okay, but the thought of being so close to losing him eats at me. Is it because I yelled at him? Mason¡¯s car is parked right out the front of his shop. It¡¯s a nice car, sporty, sleek and red. Inside, the material is leather and comfortable. Thank God I¡¯m wearing a seatbelt though. Every time he turns a corner I grip the seat in fear of sliding off of it. We pull up outside of the hospital and Mason follows me from the car. In any other circumstance I¡¯d be worried about Seth¡¯s reaction to me showing up with Mason, but there are bigger things I have to worry about right now.


    I race right up to the concierge. The woman is alarmed by my frantic behavior and I control my breathing, trying to appear less frazzled.


    ¡°Richard James. What room is he in?¡±


    I bite my nails while she searches her computer. ¡°Four-three-zero.¡±


    Mason thanks her and I tear up the corridor. I catch two elevators before I manage to find his room. Seth leans against the wall outside. He¡¯s twirling is phone around his fingers and chewing on a toothpick in thought.


    ¡°Seth!¡± I call out to him.


    His head snaps up to me and his eyes melt from worry to relief¡ªthat is until he looks past me and sees Mason. I wrap my arms around Seth¡¯s neck and pull him into me. His strong arms circle my waist and he plants soft kisses on my neck.


    ¡°I was so worried.¡± He says. ¡°I thought you were catching the bus.¡±


    ¡°Mason drove me... it seemed a little more realistic.¡± I give him my best ¡®be nice¡¯ face and pull away from Seth to enter my dad¡¯s room. Machines beep around him and Mom reads a book on the recliner in the corner.


    ¡°Olly? I thought you had work?¡± Dad wonders as I approach his bed. His voice is a little tired, but other than that he looks okay. Mom puts her book down and jumps out of her seat to hug me. When she pulls me into her arms, the tears flow down my cheeks and I just can''t stop them. They¡¯re tears of joy, tears of sadness. I¡¯m so relieved he¡¯s okay, but I still feel guilty. If I hadn¡¯t argued with him maybe this could¡¯ve been avoided.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I cry.


    He shifts in his bed unable to sit up. ¡°This isn¡¯t your fault. I should have listened to the doctor and your mother, and you in the first place.¡±


    Mom¡¯s hands rub my shoulders as she tries to soothe me. ¡°It¡¯s not anyone¡¯s fault. We got lucky and when we get home it¡¯s nothing but steamed vegetables and grilled foods for you.¡±


    Dad nods sheepishly.


    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for Seth.¡± He says. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I¡¯d be here.¡±


    ¡°Seth?¡±


    His eyes flick to the bed, nervously. ¡°He came to my office to give me a ¡®no hard feelings¡¯ talk and I don¡¯t know what happened. My jaw started aching and I thought it was because of the beef jerky I was eating, but then there was this crushing sensation in my chest¡ª¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to relive it, honey.¡± Mom says, leaning over the thing, white rails to kiss him. ¡°It¡¯s up onwards and upwards from here.¡±


    Mason knocks on the door, drawing our attention and steps in. ¡°Uh, Olivia, I have to go back to the office. You don¡¯t have to come. I¡¯ll take care of everything.¡±


    Mom smiles widely at him and I eye her suspiciously. If she so much as¡ª ¡°That is so nice of you, isn¡¯t it Olivia?¡±


    Wow. She¡¯s actually playing matchmaker right now.


    ¡°Yes it is,¡± I reply, almost through clenched teeth. ¡°But I need to work. I¡¯ve taken too much time off I need to pay rent and electricity.¡±


    ¡°If you move back in¡ª¡± I flash my palm at her and cut her words off. I¡¯m so not going there, not right now.


    ¡°I¡¯ll cover it.¡± Seth offers casually, leaning against the door frame. How someone can so casually offer to support someone is beyond me. It¡¯s a big deal.


    ¡°That¡¯s unnecessary.¡± I say.


    ¡°Olivia, I¡¯m not allowing you to come back to work. Now, you still have twelve paid days remaining of your annual leave. I¡¯ll just put it on that.¡± Mason leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. My eyes flick nervously from Seth¡¯s face. It wasn¡¯t a sexual gesture, nor do I think he did it on purpose to piss Seth off. He¡¯s just being friendly and supportive, I guess.


    ¡°Give me a call when you¡¯re ready.¡± He exits out the door, but not without earning a very subtle glare from Seth.


    His chocolate irises fall back onto me and I give him a tight smile and a small shrug of my shoulders. A pretty female nurse sticks her head into the room. Her long, brown hair cascading over her slim shoulders. ¡°Visiting hours are over.¡± She tells us. ¡°Only one of you can stay to keep him company.¡±


    I rub my palms over my dress to remove some of the sweat. Now that the initial shock has worn off, I only feel nauseous.


    ¡°Well, Seth and I will go, but I¡¯ll come back first thing tomorrow morning. If you need anything¡ªanything at all¡ªcall me. Immediately.¡±


    I kiss Mom and Dad, lingering a second longer on Dad¡¯s stubbly cheek.


    ¡°I love you both.¡± I say as I wrap an arm around Seth¡¯s waist. He slings his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into him. I don¡¯t have to look at Mom to know she doesn¡¯t approve, even after Seth basically saved Dad¡¯s life he still isn¡¯t good enough.

 Page 35

    A few people scatter the narrow hallway as they say goodbye to their family members. I look up at Seth and his toothpick flicks across the span of his lips as he teases it with his tongue. ¡°Thank you.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°For what?¡±


    I stop walking and cut in front of him. He pulls the thin, wooden toothpick from his mouth and his eyes focus on my face.


    ¡°For going back to the gym to talk to my dad and for saving his life.¡±


    Seth¡¯s eyebrows crinkle slightly, like he¡¯s uncomfortable. ¡°You don¡¯t have to thank me...¡±


    ¡°I do. Why does thanking you make you so uncomfortable?¡±


    His gaze flits to the floor as he sticks the toothpick back into his mouth. After what felt like an eternity of being silent, he lifts his gaze to me, looking even more uncomfortable than before.


    ¡°Because I¡¯m not used to it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not used to being thanked?¡± I brush my finger along his forearm.


    ¡°I¡¯m usually the cause of a problem, not the solution.¡±


    I frown. He doesn¡¯t even realize how much he¡¯s helped me. He¡¯s helped me not fall back into the same routines with Blade. He saved me from Brent and improved my relationship with Dad. Before Seth, my dad was a lot more like my mom¡ªalways pushing for me to move back home and because of all of that the next words fell from my lips without thought.


    ¡°You¡¯re my solution.¡±


    His lips twitch and he removes his toothpick as the tension in his expression melts away. His arms surround my waist, drawing me closer. To see him relaxed and happy sends a strong, tightening feeling through my chest. All I want is for him to be happy and I¡¯ve never wanted something so badly in my life. Seth pulls me into him, resting his head on mine and his hand trails comfortingly up and down my spine. I¡¯m scared to pull away¡ªI don¡¯t want to. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening, but it¡¯s unlike anything I¡¯ve ever felt before. The feelings I had for Blade pale in comparison to what I¡¯m feeling now. Love? No¡ªyes¡ªI don¡¯t know. I¡¯m confused. Is love meant to be so sickening? I feel sick¡ªI feel like crying. I feel like crushing Seth in my arms and never letting go. I¡¯m almost certain I¡¯d completely dissolve into nothing without him. I want to run away because I¡¯m absolutely petrified. Seth likes me, I know he does, but what if there¡¯s no future here. I¡¯m not a mind reader, but I¡¯m certain this isn¡¯t what he¡¯d expect of me after barely one day of being together. I can¡¯t scare him away...


    I¡¯ve been sitting around dad¡¯s room for the last two hours while he sleeps. Mom has brought her nail kit in for something to do and since she¡¯s done her nails twice already, she decided to attack mine. I can¡¯t complain I suppose, they are in need of some serious grooming. I¡¯ve been biting them too much lately.


    I miss Seth. After the hospital yesterday Seth and I hung out around his house. His Mom wasn¡¯t home and we didn¡¯t have sex because Darryl put the ¡®no sex until after the fight¡¯ restriction on him. Seth was a little eager to break it and just tell Darryl that he didn¡¯t have sex, but I felt bad and told Seth to wait.


    ¡°So, your boss is a nice guy.¡± Mom says casually.


    I almost snort. ¡°Yeah, he is.¡±


    She rakes the nail filer over my skin and I wince as its rough edge scratches my skin. ¡°He¡¯s handsome, too.¡±


    I drag in a breath. ¡°Yes, he is.¡± I used to think Mason was so, so, so handsome and I¡¯d even flush a little when I thought about him, but then Seth showed up and in my opinion, no one holds a candle to his looks, not even blue-eyed, blond haired Mason. Mason is bright and innocent¡ªtoo much of a gentlemen in most instances. Seth is dark and confident. He doesn¡¯t care for being subtle. He doesn¡¯t care how he looks to other people. It thrills him.


    ¡°Have you ever thought about¡ª¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t go there, Sandra.¡± Dad interjects. His voice is husky from sleep. ¡°It¡¯s her boss and he¡¯s too old for her.¡±


    ¡°Age doesn¡¯t define a man. He¡¯s successful and handsome. You¡¯re young so children shouldn¡¯t be a problem.¡±


    I pull my hand away from her, insulted. ¡°Seth is young, handsome and successful.¡±


    ¡°But Seth¡¯s looks won¡¯t last long when he¡¯s constantly getting beaten by men bigger than him. He can only be successful for short periods of time in his line of work and it¡¯s not something you want to raise your children around. I mean, how long have you two been fooling around? It¡¯s just fun, right?¡±


    Dad hits the button on his bed and slowly raises himself to a sitting position. ¡°Who cares if it¡¯s just fun or not. Seth is a good kid. He saved my life.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but it was more of a ¡®right place at the right time¡¯ kind of thing.¡±


    Are you kidding me? ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean you should be any less grateful.¡±


    Powerless anger rages through me, making my throat curl tightly around my words. My mom says a lot of pointless, hurtful things¡ªall with good intention (or so she claims) but nothing she has ever said has upset me to the point of becoming extremely angry with her, until now. I glance at Dad, he¡¯s shooting daggers at Mom too and I realize this isn¡¯t the time or place to argue with Mom about Seth. If she wants to be snobby and ungrateful, fine. Let her be, but it won¡¯t change my opinion. Ever. I¡¯ve seen underneath Seth¡¯s hard, cocky shell. I¡¯ve seen his soft side. I¡¯ve seen him vulnerable and hurt. There¡¯s more to him than meets the eye. A hell of a lot more.


    ¡°Anyway, Dad, when can you go home?¡±


    The pink blush in Dad¡¯s cheeks fade and Mom huffs, hating the topic change. ¡°Hopefully after lunch, I have to wait two weeks before I can go back to work, but after that it should be okay. They¡¯ve encouraged me to do more cardio and eat better foods as well. Boston is definitely off the cards for me now.¡±


    I try to give him an encouraging smile, but even I felt its sympathetic curl. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I know how much going to Boston meant to you...¡±


    He flicks his hand like it¡¯s no big deal, but I know otherwise. He was so upset in the gym yesterday when Seth and I said he couldn¡¯t go. ¡°It¡¯s alright. At least one of us is going.¡±


    I blink. Oh. He means me. ¡°I¡¯m not going either, Dad.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± He¡¯s just as confused as Seth was when I told him. ¡°Have you and Seth had a fight?¡±


    I swear I hear Mom¡¯s breath catch hopefully.


    ¡°No. I have work.¡±


    ¡°And is Seth okay with that?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°He isn¡¯t too happy about it.¡±


    Mom jumps at her chance to enter the conversation. ¡°Those fighter types are very hard headed.¡± Dad rolls his eyes. ¡°He hasn¡¯t hit you or anything has he?¡±


    ¡°What the hell, Mom? No, he hasn¡¯t hit me. He¡¯d never do that.¡±


    She folds her arms tightly across her blue cardigan and I hear her tap her heel against the hard floor. ¡°They snap easily, that¡¯s all I¡¯m saying.¡±


    ¡°Honey,¡± Dad says, pulling my attention from Mom¡¯s face. ¡°You should go. You only have a short time before he goes to pro. You can skip as many as you want then, but at least be a part of his beginning.¡± Dad¡¯s brown eyes flick to his hands nervously and then back to my face. ¡°When you¡¯re in the gym, he¡¯s distracted by you and when you¡¯re not there during training, he becomes preoccupied with his thoughts, stuck in some far off world. As soon as Darryl blows the whistle and training is over he can¡¯t get out the door quick enough.¡± His words make my insides swell. At least he can see how much Seth cares about me. ¡°He can¡¯t even go one fight without calling you to the locker room before he goes on. I don¡¯t think he¡¯s going to be able to be away from you.¡± He turns his attention to Mom. ¡°If you opened your eyes just a little bit wider, Sandra, you¡¯d see that Seth worships the ground our daughter walks on. He admires her. Initially, I knew he wasn¡¯t the kind of guy I¡¯d want around my daughter, but I can tell through his fighting, his training¡ªeverything, that when he cares for something, he¡¯ll give it everything he has. You should be honored that Olivia has someone like him to respect her and to protect her because when we die¡ªand we will die¡ªwe should want our daughter to be protected by someone who¡¯d protect her as fiercely as her own parents would... and Seth¡¯s that guy.¡±


    I¡¯ve never respected my dad more than I do in this moment. I know he likes Seth, but I didn¡¯t know that he¡¯d trust him wholly with his only daughter and that means more to me than words can ever describe. I kiss my Dad on the cheek and tear from the hospital room, leaving Mom¡¯s defeated pout behind me. The clatter of my shoes ring in my ear as I sprint down the hallway.


    ¡°No running!¡± A janitor calls from behind me, but I ignore him. If I stop before I get to my car I might unwillingly come to my senses. After I see Seth, I¡¯m going to call Mason and tell him that I want some time off because I want to be with Seth. I want to be there to support him, rain or shine, win or lose. If Mason doesn¡¯t let me...then I¡¯ll quit because life is too short to not have what you want. When you think back on your childhood or your life last week even, you don¡¯t remember the hours you slaved at work or doing things you hate. You remember going outside. You remember being with your friends and loving life. I want to look back on my life and not regret it. If Seth becomes a distant memory I want to be able to honestly say I had the time of my life. Mason can take away my job, but I¡¯ll still be alive. Alive. That¡¯s a pretty big opportunity and I¡¯d hate to waste it.


    I know Seth will be finishing up at the gym any minute now and I want to catch him off guard. When I see Seth¡¯s car in the car park, I pull up next to it and practically jump out the door before I put my car in park. The seatbelt snags me back in my seat and I groan. I probably should take it off. I unclip my seatbelt and manage to exit the car on the second attempt. I push through the glass doors and into the main area. I see Seth sitting against the boxing ring in front of his entire team and everyone¡¯s attention is on me. My entrance wasn¡¯t exactly subtle. Seth is covered in glorious sweat and it glistens all over. He stands abruptly, concern clear on his face and steps forward. I rush toward him, my breath coming out in sharp, short breaths.


    ¡°O, is everything¡ª¡±


    I jump and slam into him, crushing my mouth to his and ignoring our audience. I wrap my legs around his waist and I squeeze him against me with all that I have. My fingers run into his damp hair and I run my tongue along his plump bottom lip.


    ¡°...maybe we should leave.¡± Jackson suggest as I pull away.


    Seth¡¯s eyes search mine, trying to decipher what the hell is propelling my actions.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go to Boston with you.¡± I tell him.


    He tries to bite back his smile, but it spreads across his face in full force. ¡°And Mason?¡±


    His brown eyes never stray from mine. They¡¯re penetrating me, coaxing me to say exactly what he wants me to say. And I say it. ¡°Fuck Mason.¡±


    His mouth claims mine again and I feel him carrying me away from our silent audience.


    ¡°If you two aren¡¯t out in four minutes. I¡¯m coming in.¡± Darryl calls after us.


    Our mouths remained joined up until my back is pressed against cold concrete. I open my eyes and pull away. We¡¯re in the shower room¡ªthe men¡¯s shower room. It looks exactly like the woman''s shower room...fancy that.


    ¡°Tell me again.¡± Seth groans, kissing my neck and making my head swim.


    ¡°I¡¯m coming to Boston with you.¡± I say, emphasizing the words. His tongue glides against my skin, igniting the blood beneath it. I¡¯ve missed him so much even though he dropped me home before he went to the gym this morning. I happily run my hands over his slick, wet body¡ªaround his neck, over his shoulders and down his arms, eliciting a groan from the base of his throat. He places a soft kiss at the tip of my nose and rests his forehead against mine.


    ¡°What made you change your mind?¡± I subtly revel in the sensation of his hot breath on my face. I don¡¯t want to tell Seth what my dad said. Dad isn¡¯t one to express his thoughts like that and I want to preserve it in its purest form straight from the source. I feel if I repeat it, it¡¯ll lose its sentiment.


    ¡°Let¡¯s just say, a little birdy helped me decide what¡¯s important.¡±


    I slide down his body until my feet are firmly on the ground. ¡°I¡¯m honored that you¡¯re dad thinks so highly of me.¡±


    Seth knows I was at the hospital with my dad this morning and I guess he put two and two together. I shrug, trying not to laugh. ¡°Beauty and brains, that¡¯s rare. Maybe it was Mom.¡±


    He laughs once. ¡°No, your mom thinks I¡¯m the big bad wolf.¡±


    ¡°No she doesn¡¯t...¡± Yeah. I¡¯m not convincing anybody. For a housewife, Mom is very pushy.


    ¡°Either way, I¡¯m happy you¡¯ve decided to come with me. Now I can stop driving myself insane with plots.¡±


    ¡°Plots?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he smiles, dropping his shorts to shower in the wide-open room. Heat mingles with the blood under my cheeks. ¡°I¡¯ve been trying to think of ways to get you to come to Boston. Some were silly, some were strange and some were just downright illegal.¡±


    His words coax a laugh from me and I watch as he walks over to the far wall and turns on the shower. The water pours over his body and soon steam engulfs the room.


    ¡°You¡¯re not joining me?¡± He asks with a wicked smile.

 Page 36

    I want to. I want to get naked and feel his hands all over me, but there¡¯s no way I¡¯m showering in the open. Not when there¡¯s a room full of boys next to us. I shake my head. ¡°I¡¯m fine just watching.¡±Advertisement


    I retrieve my phone from my back pocket. Mason is going to hate what I have to say. Seth¡¯s fight is in six days. I dial Mason¡¯s number and he answers immediately.


    ¡°Olivia? Hi. How¡¯s your Dad?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s good. They¡¯re letting him go home today.¡± Darryl sticks his head into the bathroom, relieved to see us on opposite sides. I feel myself blush because Seth is so exposed, but neither of the men seems to care. Darryl hooks a blue towel onto a towel holder and with a swift nod he leaves.


    ¡°How are you holding up?¡± Mason asks.


    Seth shuts of the shower and walks over to his towel. I admire his body while he walks. It¡¯s perfection. Every muscle clad limb is perfectly tight, shaped and muscular. He runs the towel over his head, across his chest and down his arms before wrapping the towel around his narrow hips.


    ¡°She¡¯s¡ªhe¡¯s¡ªI¡¯m fine.¡± I stutter, becoming flustered by Seth. I feel like a moron. He isn¡¯t even touching me and my brain is foggy. Seth notices my hiccup and he smiles his trademark smile at me. ¡°There¡¯s something I need to tell you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m listening.¡± Mason replies cautiously.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to Boston and I need some time off.¡±


    Silence.


    ¡°And after that, assuming things go according to plan, I need more time off to go to Las Vegas.¡±


    Silence.


    ¡°Mason?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I heard you.¡± He exhales. ¡°You¡¯re going to put his career ahead of yours?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not really a career, I mean, I¡¯m only a receptionist.¡±


    Mason¡¯s tone darkens. ¡°Only a receptionist? What business runs smoothly without a receptionist? As far as I¡¯m concerned you have the most important job at this practice and what about your dad? He¡¯ll need your support.¡±


    I don¡¯t want to divulge everything to Mason. He¡¯s my boss. When an employee asks for time off the only role the employer has it to say yes or no. None of this digging around in personal information crap.


    ¡°My dad was the one who convinced me to go to Boston.¡±


    ¡°And if I say no?¡±


    There it is. ¡°Then I have no choice but to quit...¡±


    ¡°Really? Just like that?¡±


    I nod, aware he can¡¯t see it. Seth leans against wall beside me, crossing his arms over his chest.


    ¡°You know, I was wrong about you. Here I was thinking you were a mature adult, but you¡¯re far from that. You¡¯ll risk your job just to follow your new boyfriend around¡ªit¡¯s actually immature. Are you that afraid he¡¯s going to be unfaithful to you, is that why you go? Because he''s an animal and can''t keep is dick in his pants for five Goddamn seconds?¡± Mason''s tone is icy and it sends a cold dread through my ear and into the pit of my stomach. Strangely, there¡¯s an urge to cry pushing at the base of my throat, but I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth to stop it. It¡¯s not about Seth. I know he wouldn¡¯t be unfaithful to me. Sure his promiscuous past makes the odds stack up highly against me, but they¡¯re invisible to me. I want to cry because I¡¯ve upset Mason so much. It¡¯s not his fault he¡¯s so mad. I¡¯ve messed him around a lot the past few weeks and he¡¯s been beyond accommodating. That amount of stress would get to anyone.


    ¡°Yes or no, Mason. That¡¯s all I want you to say.¡±


    He takes an eternity to answer me. ¡°No.¡±


    And that¡¯s it. My two year long employment is done and I¡¯m officially unemployed... it really doesn¡¯t feel good. I swallow hard. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    I hang up and tap the phone in the palm of my hand. ¡°So that¡¯s that.¡± I sigh.


    Seth¡¯s arms engulf me, pulling me in close. ¡°We¡¯ll work something out once the tournament is over in a few weeks. Until then let me take care of you. I¡¯ll cover your rent and electricity¡ªfood¡ªwhatever you need. It¡¯s the least I can do.¡±


    That sounds nice, but I can¡¯t do it. The thought of being so dependent and leechy makes me nauseous.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I have a good amount of savings. It should cover me for a month maximum. I can sort something out by then.¡±


    He chuckles and his chest vibrates under my cheek. ¡°You are stubborn.¡± He squeezes me tighter against him. ¡°Whatever you choose to do, I¡¯ve got your back.¡± I tilt my head and gaze into his brown eyes. ¡°Always.¡±


    I hardly see Seth the next six days. He¡¯s so busy with training and preparing for this weekend. Even I¡¯m nervous. We leave today and Seth should be here in twenty minutes to pick me up. Sadly, Selena can¡¯t come this time. Her dad has requested she start doing something with her life and put in extra hours at the firm. She¡¯s all distraught about it, but now she has researched a few courses she can study, she feels a little better, but her dad still suffers her cold shoulder. My phone rings, pulling me from my thoughts. I leap of the couch and run to the kitchen bench where I¡¯m charging my phone. I pull the cable out and answer it.


    ¡°Hey!¡± Selena¡¯s cheery voice squeals. ¡°I¡¯ve done it! I know what I¡¯m going to become!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°A police officer!¡±


    I almost laugh out loud. Selena, a police officer? I don¡¯t think so. She hates cleaning because she always breaks a nail. I¡¯m pretty sure you can¡¯t have long, strange colored nails as a police officer... dress code and all that.


    ¡°A police officer? Really?¡±


    She sounds almost offended. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with that?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to picture you chase bad guys and shoot guns. No offence, but it¡¯s not looking pretty.¡±


    She snorts. ¡°Yeah, well, I¡¯ll show you. Anyway, you¡¯re leaving today and I¡¯m so bummed. I wish I could come¡­ I¡¯m going to miss Jackson.¡±


    I open the fridge and grab two small bottles of water. ¡°Gee, don¡¯t miss me or anything.¡±


    I cross the kitchen floor and into the lounge room. I place the two bottles of water on top of my little purple suitcase.


    ¡°You know I¡¯ll miss you! That goes without saying. How long will you be away?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve told you twice already. We¡¯re going to stay a few days in Boston and if he wins, the next stop is Las Vegas for a week or so.¡±


    ¡°His fights are really close together...doesn¡¯t he need time to recover or whatever?¡±


    I don¡¯t know a lot about the tournament, but Darryl did tell me that once he goes pro it can be months between fights. Until then, Seth has to avoid getting hit as much as possible. So far, so good. I¡¯m yet to see a fist connect with his face. ¡°I don¡¯t know how it works.¡± I mutter.


    There¡¯s a soft knock on the door and my nervousness kicks up a notch. ¡°Hey, I gotta go now, but call me in a day or two, yeah?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, alright. Have fun and don¡¯t do anything I wouldn¡¯t do. Love you.¡±


    ¡°Love you.¡± I hang up and slip my phone into the front pocket of my lemon colored cardigan. I like this cardigan. It was a gift from my Nan before she passed away. My favorite outfit to wear with it is a pair of white jeans and a white lace top. I race to the door and throw it open. Seth looks as drool-worthy as ever. How he manages to wear a pair of jeans and a plain grey t-shirt and still look amazing is annoyingly beyond me. His hair glistens slightly, like he¡¯s showered recently. His skin looks smooth and soft and I really want to reach out and touch it. He drinks me in with an amused smile on his face.


    ¡°You¡¯re like a coconut-lemon bonbon.¡± He laughs, leaning on the door frame.


    ¡°Ha. Ha.¡± I deadpan.


    He steps forward, his eyes burning confidently into mine¡ªno¡ªlustily. ¡°I love lemon bonbons.¡± His smile turns cocky. ¡°They melt in your mouth.¡±


    I feel a hot red flush creeping up my cheeks and he notices. His eyes sparkle, looking perfectly amused with my reaction and he steps forward, allowing his hands to slide into the nape of my neck. Then, he kisses me, teasing me with his teeth as he nips at my bottom lip. He steps forward, sliding his other hand down my side before cupping my ass and squeezing me against him. I know he¡¯s doing this to work me up, knowing very well that I can¡¯t do a damn thing about it. He pulls away and catches his bottom lip between his teeth. ¡°Mm. You taste better than any kind of sweet.¡±


    I groan. ¡°You¡¯re going to make this painful for me, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    He nods his head. ¡°Imagine what it¡¯s doing to me.¡±


    I step away and roll my suitcase to him. I lock my door and follow Seth down the stairs to the car. My suitcase easily slips onto the empty back seat.


    ¡°Jackson isn¡¯t coming?¡± I wonder aloud.


    Seth opens my door and I climb in. ¡°Yeah, but he¡¯s riding with Darryl and the others.¡±


    I smile. Alone time with Seth would be very nice. I¡¯ve barely seen him this week and I¡¯ve missed him like crazy. I¡¯m excited to be leaving Portland and I¡¯m especially excited for Seth¡¯s fight to be over. I crave¡ªno¡ªI need to be close to him, in every sense.


    As we roll onto the highway, a ringtone buzzes throughout the car and my attention falls onto the center console. ¡®Mom¡¯ is calling. Seth swiftly hits ignore.


    ¡°How is she?¡± I ask. ¡°Did she end up going to the program?¡±


    I glance sideways at Seth. His hands squeeze the steering wheel briefly.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± His voice is almost sad¡ªdisappointed. I look at my hands also disappointed.


    ¡°I was certain she would...¡±


    He smiles a painfully fake smile without looking at me. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯m done. When I picked her up from the hospital last night¡ª¡±


    ¡°Wait, the hospital?¡± I sound more offended than worried and maybe I am. Why didn¡¯t he call me?


    ¡°Yeah, she fell down some stairs at a bar and hit her head. She¡¯s okay; it¡¯s just a little cut.¡±


    Noticing my apprehension he adds. ¡°I didn¡¯t call you because it was really late and I wasn¡¯t in the mood for someone to feel sorry for me.¡±


    A little harsh, but understandable...I suppose. ¡°I just hate that you had to do it on your own.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been doing it on my own for years now. What¡¯s a few more, right?¡±


    My heart wrenches in my chest. There¡¯s so much responsibility on his shoulders. Balancing finances, his career, strict diet requirements and intense training¡ªhow does he even function properly?


    ¡°You said you¡¯re done? What does that mean?¡±


    ¡°It means I refuse to carry her through life like a child for a second longer. I contacted a rehab in California last night. The company picked her up this morning.¡±


    I wait a while for his words to sink in. He sent his mother to rehab...on the other side of the country?


    ¡°California is a long way away, Seth.¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°I need her as far away from me as possible. Otherwise she¡¯ll beg that I come visit and then she¡¯ll convince me to sign her release. I can¡¯t...not this time.¡±


    Not this time? He¡¯s sent her to a rehab before? I look at him. His jaw is clenched tightly, his features pulled forward into a frown. I don¡¯t question him anymore. I can see that it¡¯s difficult for him and so I say the only I can say. ¡°You did the right thing.¡±


    The crinkle in his brow smoothes out. I said exactly what he wanted to hear. No doubt he¡¯s been playing some kind of emotional tug-of-war with his decision and I¡¯m glad that I could ease it a little.


    Boston is huge compared to Portland. The buildings are taller and newer. I practically squish my face against the cool glass as I try to get a closer look. I¡¯ve never been out of Portland. Why haven¡¯t I travelled? Seeing new places is amazing and it¡¯s fresh. Although people are busily walking the sidewalks to get to appointments and important meetings, I feel like this place is untouched, like I just discovered it. Seth pulls up outside a very ritzy hotel and a man in an adorable black hat opens my door.


    ¡°Good evening, madam.¡± He greets me, extending a white gloved hand.


    I glance awkwardly at Seth who¡¯s watching me with a pleased expression. I take the man¡¯s hand and he helps me from the car. Seth takes me from the man and tells him about the bags. Happily, the man nods and retrieves the luggage from the car. We enter the building through a gold rotating door and Seth keeps his fingers locked with mine as we approach his team in the lobby. Darryl, Jackson and the other three whose faces I¡¯ve become accustomed to, but have no idea what their names are, are absolutely delighted to see that Seth and I arrive on time.


    ¡°I¡¯ll check in.¡± Seth says, kissing the top of my head.


    I admire the lobby while Darryl explains the plans for tonight and tomorrow. The lobby is vast and well decorated with marble statues and gold trimmings. No rugs adorn the floor and shoe heels clatter against the tiles all around me. There¡¯s a delightful smell, like vanilla and rosemary and the classical music playing softly through hidden speakers makes me feel light and relaxed. This hotel is hands down the nicest place I¡¯ve ever stayed. Oh, and imagine what the bath is going to look like¡ªassuming I have one.


    ¡°Where are Don and Josh staying?¡± Jackson asks Darryl, sitting on the top of his own suitcase and brushing his hands over his jeans.


    ¡°Josh and Don are both across town in the Plaza hotel. Their management has assured me we shouldn¡¯t have any run-ins before the fight. It¡¯s a big city. The chances of us running into them tonight are slim.¡±

 Page 37

    ¡°Tonight?¡± I ask seeing the dream of a long, hot soak slip away.Advertisement


    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re all going out tonight.¡± Jackson replies. ¡°Even Seth.¡±


    Crap. The thought of hitting the cubs in a foreign city scares the hell out of me. Portland clubs are bad and always packed, meaning Boston is probably twice as bad and twice as packed. The last time I went out I punched a girl in the face and I¡¯m not too keen to go through that again. Not to mention I didn¡¯t pack anything for a night out.


    ¡°We won¡¯t be out for long.¡± Seth says, coming to stand beside me. His arm hooks around my waist, pressing my side against his. ¡°I can¡¯t drink and I need as much sleep as I can get for tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± Jackson chuckles. ¡°We need a designated driver and you can leave once we get to Polaris.¡±


    ¡°What time?¡± Seth asks.


    ¡°We want to be there at ten or eleven. It doesn¡¯t really matter. The good shows don¡¯t start until midnight.¡±


    Nightclubs in Boston do shows? I relax a little. Maybe we¡¯re going to theatre or something similar to that. I pray to God that¡¯s the case.


    That is so not the case. Polaris is a strip club. How the hell did I not see this coming? Seth nudges me further into the club as I awkwardly watch females grind on poles and on men in booths. I mean, it¡¯s definitely the nicest strip club I¡¯ve seen¡ªcorrection¡ªgentlemen¡¯s club as Darryl says, but that doesn¡¯t make me less uneasy. I finger the button holes on my white silk blouse, nervously as Seth places his hand on my lower back and escorts me over to a huge booth at the other side of the room. As soon as we¡¯re seated, a topless woman with fake boobs walks casually over to us. Her skirt is short and plaid, barely covering her ass cheeks. Her nipples are hard and pointing directly at my face. I wonder if she¡¯s cold. She introduces herself as Vivian and bends over to adjust one of her knee high stockings while her breasts rest on the table. The boys are absolutely lapping it up and when she straightens they throw their drink orders at her.


    ¡°Anything for you, sweetheart?¡± She asks me. Her voice is high and sugary.


    ¡°No, thank you.¡± I reply, unable to look her in the face. I¡¯m so far out of my comfort zone it¡¯s not even funny.


    ¡°That¡¯s no fun.¡± She replied, pouting her overly-glossed, cherry red lips at me. She steps closer, and crouches down. Her boobs brush my arm and a pang of nauseous embarrassment rolls through my stomach. ¡°I¡¯ll have to show you a good time another way.¡±


    ¡°Uh...¡±


    Beside me Seth chuckles, making heat seep into my cheeks.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡±


    Her warm, soft thumb brushes down my cheek. ¡°We¡¯ll, you let me know, honey.¡±


    Her dark eyes fall onto Seth. ¡°What about you, handsome? Can I get you anything?¡±


    He speaks to her so casually like she¡¯s not topless and rubbing her tits on my arm. ¡°No. I¡¯m good.¡±


    With a swift nod, Vivian struts over to the bar and I¡¯m suddenly grateful my dad isn¡¯t here. That would have made this the single, most embarrassing moment of my life.


    ¡°You¡¯ve never been to a strip club before?¡± Jackson calls out from across the booth. His hair is slicked into a spiky mess on the top of his head and he¡¯s smiling at me like I¡¯m some strange hermit crab.


    ¡°No... I¡¯ve never really felt the need to.¡±


    Seth looks at me, highly amused and he¡¯s smiling that wide smile I like so much. ¡°What?¡± I say. ¡°Am I that weird?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± He hooks his arm around my neck and brings his lips to mine. ¡°You¡¯re good.¡±


    Only we understand the double meaning to that word. When Vivian comes back with our drinks, Jackson drags us all from the booth and over to the elegant lounges in front of the wide stage. The floor is illumined with white lights and three girls dance slowly to the music, shaking and swaying everything.


    ¡°Which one of you is up for a good time?¡± Vivian giggles, leaning over our table.


    Her eyes definitely flicker between Seth and Jackson. I really don¡¯t know how I¡¯ll handle Seth or Jackson getting a lap dance. I¡¯ll have to tell Selena...girl code and all that and maybe she won¡¯t care. Jackson hands her money and flicks his eyebrows at me. I watch him, confused by his gesture. Again, Seth is laughing beside me as Vivian sets her sights on me. There¡¯s a seductive smile on her red lips and she leans right down to my ear. ¡°Just relax.¡± She breathes.


    Immediately, I go rigid and stare wide eyed as her bum cheeks grind against my lap. Jackson and everyone else¡ªincluding Seth¡ªare having the time off their lives watching and laughing at my frightened expression. This is so not happening right now. What do I do? How long does this go for? When will it stop? Questions fill my mind one after the other and I¡¯m too scared to voice them. She presses her back against my chest and rubs her hands around my neck. I swallow hard, keeping my hands balled into fist at my side. I don¡¯t like this. This isn¡¯t fun...not to me. She turns on me, rubbing her hard breasts against my own. I look at Seth, who¡¯s still smiling away.


    ¡°Seth...¡± I say, giving him my best ¡®get me the fuck out of here¡¯ expression. He nods his head and shuffles toward me, but he¡¯s too late to stop her as she brings her my lips to mine and sucks my bottom lip into her mouth. I gasp. What the fuck? Are strippers even allowed to do that? How much did Jackson give her? Instinctively, I shoot out from underneath her and my hands fly up to cover my mouth. She smiles innocently up at me and Jackson and the rest of the team clench their sides in fits of laughter. I went along with it as much as I could, but a line has been crossed and I want to go home.


    ¡°Well, well, well.¡± A deep, skin-crawling voice chuckles from behind. A heavy hand plants itself on my hip, pulling me backwards slightly. I whip my neck to the side, immediately seeing Don¡¯s bald head and scruffy jaw. ¡°That was quite the show. I wouldn¡¯t mind seeing another.¡±


    Seth jumps to his feet and the rest of the team follow him. Vivian smiles sweetly and takes her leave. Seth¡¯s stare flickers from Don¡¯s hand on my hip to his face. Darryl is talking in a low tone to Seth, but he doesn¡¯t look like he¡¯s listening to a word he¡¯s saying. He¡¯s seething. I can see his jaw work and clench, his fingers flex at his sides and his chest rises and falls in deep pants. I try to step forward, but Don increases his grip, limiting my movement.


    ¡°Don,¡± One of his team members warn him. ¡°Let the girl go.¡±


    Don chuckles and I don¡¯t think he gives a shit about the tournament. He just wants to get back at Seth. Normally, when I run into Don at the fights, he isn¡¯t touching me and I¡¯m able to slip away before he does... but today is different and I¡¯m worried if I move, Seth will do something stupid. His thick finger flicks hair over my shoulder and I flinch away from his touch. ¡°She¡¯s a little timid, but if you leave her with me for the night I¡¯m sure I can straighten her out for you.¡±


    Seth starts forward, but Jackson and Darryl stop him. His nostrils are flaring, his eyes wanting blood.


    ¡°You heard your team.¡± He growls. ¡°Let her go, this is between you and me.¡±


    A deep laugh rumbles through Don¡¯s chest, vibrating against my back. ¡°You brought her into this, not me.¡±


    I glance around the club, a few people are watching, but they¡¯re intrigued not frightened or worried. They want to see something happen here. I try to step forward again and Don¡¯s hand clamps down. I wince at the pressure and Seth surges forward, dragging a useless Darryl and Jackson behind him. Don shoves me aside and I fall toward the floor. The hip he had a hold on slams into the tiles, sending a sharp pain down my leg. I push myself up on my elbow and watch Seth¡¯s closed fist connect with the side of Don¡¯s face. Strippers begin to squeal and call for security as Don and Seth exchange punches blow for blow, their teams powerless to stop the two beasts. Soon, everyone is in on it¡ªteam against team¡ªbeating each other senseless. My nerves are electrified and my heart is rapidly pushing blood around my veins. I become dizzy with adrenaline and fear. This is it. Seth is out of the competition and it¡¯s all my fault.


    ¡°Seth!¡± I call over the grunting and screaming.


    Tears threaten my eyes and I force myself up onto my feet. ¡°Seth!¡± I call again.


    The security guards are on them like flies, pulling them off each other. Seth¡¯s eyes lock with mine and when I see his face, tears pour over the brim of my eyes. There¡¯s a cut on his eyebrow and it¡¯s leaking blood down his cheek.


    ¡°Seth, Go!¡± Darryl shouts. ¡°I¡¯ll handle everything here.¡±


    Seth storms toward me, scooping me up into his arms like he had all of the energy in the world. I wrap my arms around his neck and it¡¯s damp with sweat.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I cry into his shoulder.


    He pulls me tighter against him and I squeeze my eyes shut. Soon, the busy noise of the street and the cool night air coax me into opening my eyes. The valet brings Seth¡¯s car around and they stare at us, but aren¡¯t brave enough to ask questions. Seth sits me in the passenger seat and shuts the door with a slam, startling me. He climbs into the driver¡¯s seat and speeds off, not saying anything the whole way back to the hotel. I have no idea what¡¯s going through his head and I want to pry, but respectively remain silent. We pull into the hotel and he jumps from the car and storms around to my side. He pulls the door open and scoops me from the car before carrying me into the lobby. I feel silly because I am more than capable of walking. Other residents try not to stare while some openly gape at us and Seth ignores them all. When we¡¯re safe in our room he finally puts me down.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± He demands urgently and I nod my head.


    Seth paces in front of me. He can¡¯t breathe. He doesn¡¯t want me to know it, but I can tell. His chest is moving shallowly and his face is strained, almost desperate. He scoops up an ornament of a Greek God and throws it against the wall in the living room. I jump as the porcelain shatters into hundreds of pieces and he turns back to me, his eyes burning darkly though narrowed slights.


    ¡°Go to bed.¡± He orders.


    I take a step back. ¡°But you¡¯re not¡ª¡±


    ¡°Fuck! I said go to bed!¡± He snaps, running his finger impatiently through his hair.


    His eyes are dark, the darkest I¡¯ve ever seen them and my heart cracks painfully in my chest. He¡¯s mad at me... I slowly turn away from him, heading up the clear, glass stairs to my left. My heels click against them, echoing around the quiet hotel room. When I get into the room, I drop onto the bed, pressing my face into the purple satin pillow. How did tonight get so shitty? I know I should have stayed here in the hotel room. I was going to, but Seth insisted I keep him company. Look how that turned out.


    Somewhere between crying, listening to Seth smash things and yell at people on the phone I feel asleep. When I open my eyes, it''s still dark, but the lounge room light is filtering through the cracks. I slide off the bed and wobble unsteadily in my heels. I grasp the door handle and open it slowly. Hopefully Seth has calmed down and wants my company. Like earlier, my heels click and clack down the staircase. I can¡¯t see Seth anywhere and I can¡¯t hear him either. At the bottom of the stairs, there¡¯s a scattered pile of porcelain. I turn up the short hallway and open the cleaning cupboard in search of a dustpan and brush. Glass in your feet is not a good time. I crouch down and sweep as much of the glass into the pan as I can. The floor being a lush, white carpet doesn¡¯t make it any easier.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to clean up after me.¡± His calm voice startles me, but I don¡¯t turn around to look at him in fear of him sending me away again.


    ¡°I want to.¡± I reply, running my fingers carefully over the soft carpet.


    I¡¯m sure I got most of the big pieces of glass. I let go of a calm, controlled breath and I have no choice but to turn around. Slowly, I straighten myself and turn around. My gaze falls over Seth¡¯s perfect, topless appearance. His expression is unreadable and he swishes a glass in his hand. The ice clinks against the glass filling the uncomfortable silence. I walk past him and into the oversized kitchen. I pull open the drawer under the sink and tip the shards of porcelain into the bin.


    Seth sits the now empty glass on the breakfast bar in the middle of the kitchen. I look at him and close the drawer. He still has dry blood on his face and I want to tend to him, to fix the wound on his brow. I step forward once, letting him know I want to come to him. He nods his head and I practically run to him. I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I say. Oh, God. I think I''m going to cry again.


    ¡°Hey,¡± he takes my arms from his neck, forcing me to look up at his face. "This isn''t your fault. You didn''t do anything. This is all me. Only me. Do you understand?"


    I¡¯m not nodding my head. If I hadn¡¯t freaked out and practically sprinted from the stripper that kissed me, I wouldn¡¯t have given Don a chance to grab me. Seth wraps his fingers around my wrist and I follow him up the stairs to our bedroom, only he doesn¡¯t stop there. He pulls me along behind him all the way to the bathroom.


    He flicks the light on, bringing the dark room to life. Seth¡¯s hands wrap around my waist and he lifts me to sit me on the bathroom counter. I watch his face and he doesn¡¯t talk while his hands rub my ankles and slip my shoes off. He pulls me from the bench and hooks his fingers under the hem of my pants, pushing them to the floor. My heartbeat speeds up, like it always does when he touches me. He turns me around and tugs on my shirt, pulling it up over my head. My bra is the last piece of fabric to fall from my body and when I turn back around to face him, his eyes drink me in, unable to hide the flash of desire in his eyes. Then they narrow in on my abdomen and I notice his body tense and his jaw clench. I glance down. It¡¯s my hip. There¡¯s a dark shadow forming where Don grabbed me and where I fell.

 Page 38

    ¡°It¡¯s not as bad as yours.¡± I mumble weakly.Advertisement


    He breathes, running a hand over his face. ¡°Is that from his hand?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°A bit, I suppose. Most of it is from when I fell after he pushed me.¡±


    His voice raises a few decibels. ¡°He pushed you?¡±


    I nod as he rakes his hands through his hair. With a shake of his head grabs me, pulling me right into him. ¡°I¡¯m so fucking sorry, Olivia.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault.¡±


    He lets me go. I know he doesn¡¯t want to hear that it isn¡¯t his fault. I can see it on his face, he truly believes it is. I step back while he drops his own pants and steps into the shower. He leaves the door open for me to join him and turns the water on. The roar of the shower echoes off of the tiles and the air quickly becomes heavy and hot, filling my lungs with steam. I step in and close the door behind me. Seth¡¯s eyes greedily take in my body, making my breasts feel heavy and swollen. My nipples already ache for his mouth to engulf them and to distract myself I reach for body wash and squirt it into my hands. I turn away from him and work a rich lather over my stomach, rubbing slowly over the bruise on my hip.


    Soon, Seth¡¯s hands are gliding over my skin, too, carefully avoiding my sore hip. He kisses my shoulder and my body begins to hum. Teasingly, his hands skirt around my breast making my nipples harden to maximum point and begin to tingle in painful anticipation. Finally, his hands slide up over my breasts, cupping them with the perfect amount of pressure. I feel like I¡¯m in danger of melting and my breath hitches as his thumbs rub over my peaked nipples. I let my head lean back to relax against his chest.


    ¡°Will Darryl and your team be okay?¡±


    His hands knead my breasts. ¡°Yeah, they¡¯ll be okay.¡±


    I turn my head. ¡°And you?¡±


    He presses his lips to my cheek. ¡°I¡¯m okay now.¡±


    I turn around, pressing the front of my body against his.


    ¡°I need you¡ªall of you.¡± I demand, crushing my lips to his.


    He tastes bitter-sweet, like bourbon and my heart clenches. If he¡¯s had alcohol, he must be in a really bad place. Seth doesn¡¯t hesitate and there¡¯s no teasing in the way his hands rub me all over. He walks me backwards and I gasp as my back presses against the cool tiles. I ignore the way my hip aches as he sandwiches me against the wall with his body. His hand runs down the length of my side and he hitches my leg around his hip. His mouth kisses my neck and his fingers slide firmly between my legs, sending a tidal wave of arousal through me. It¡¯s been so long since we¡¯ve had sex and I want it now¡ªfight or no fight. My body goes into overdrive and my nerves are hyper aware of him. His hot touch is like an electric bolt coursing through my body.


    ¡°Seth.¡± His name is a breathy sound of anticipation.


    He moans, smoothing a fingertip over my clit. He gives the tiny bundle of nerves a few circles and then dips a finger into my warmth. I gasp loudly, digging my fingertips into his shoulders as he strokes me carefully from the inside. I arch against him, my eyes feeling heavy.


    ¡°So sexy.¡± He mutters, catching my lip between his teeth.


    ¡°More.¡± I gasp, thrusting my hips against him. I¡¯m so wound up, so tightly coiled and I need him to relieve me. Only, he takes his fingers from me. Disappointment fills me and I groan in annoyance.


    ¡°Have I ever told you that you¡¯re impatient?¡± He chuckles in my ear.


    I smile and nod. ¡°I can¡¯t help myself around you.¡±


    He reaches his hand down between us, rubbing himself over my entrance and catching me off guard. My hips press closer to him and it¡¯s like I have no control over my body, it does what it wants. He pushes inside me with a sharp intake of air, sending my pulse skittering all over the place. I wrap both my arms around his neck and his hands grab my ass, lifting me onto him and filling me completely. I lock my ankles behind him as I wrap my legs around his waist. The cold sensations of the tiles feel deliciously erotic against the warm sensations inside of me. Seth pulls out until only his head is left inside and then he thrusts all the way in, forcing me to cry out. He thrust shallowly and quickly a few times before pulling almost all of the way again and then thrusts back in with a decadent groan. I squeeze him as tightly as I can as an orgasm coils in my stomach like a cobra. It has been so long since he¡¯s been inside of me and my body is reveling in the sensations.


    ¡°Oh, fuck...¡± He growls against my flesh. ¡°I¡¯m not going to last long, baby.¡±


    His voice pushes me closer and closer to the edge. ¡°Harder.¡± I manage to breathe out. ¡°Faster.¡±


    He presses me harder against the wall and sets a faster, harder pace. My arms tighten around his neck. I clench my thighs around him, tilting my pelvis. My breasts bounce as he rocks into me. I¡¯m surprised when my orgasm tears out of me unsuspectingly and I can¡¯t keep the cries from tearing out of my mouth along with it. Seth¡¯s biceps clench as he grips my hips and holds me still as he jerks unevenly inside of me, finding his own release. He holds me against the wall for a little while longer, resting his forehead against mine. My hands caress his neck and his shoulders. He closes his eyes, enjoying the attention. I slide off of him just as a knock sounds on the door and Seth shields my body with his. ¡°Come in.¡±


    My cheeks burn red. If people are here¡­ then they would¡¯ve heard me.


    ¡°Seth, when you¡¯re ready.¡± Darryl¡¯s voice rings throughout the bathroom, sounding strained and tired.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be down in a minute.¡±


    Darryl closes the door and I bury my face in my hands, more embarrassed than I have ever been in my entire life. ¡°I can¡¯t go out there.¡±


    He pulls my hands away from my face and I drop my gaze to the floor.


    ¡°Did you enjoy yourself?¡±


    His hands cup my face, tilting my face towards his. ¡°Did you enjoy yourself?¡± He asks again, emphasizing the question.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    He grins, playfully. ¡°Then that¡¯s all that matters.¡±


    I can feel delight radiating from him in waves as my cheeks grow darker.


    We towel off quickly and enter the bedroom to get dressed. Seth throws me a pair of black drawstring pants.


    ¡°I have clothes.¡± I laugh, clipping a bra into place.


    ¡°Trust me.¡± He says, pulling his own pair of grey drawstring pants up, concealing his delicious nakedness. ¡°They¡¯re really comfortable.¡±


    I throw on a white tank top and slip into Seth¡¯s pants. I have to tie it really tightly so it fits, but he isn¡¯t wrong. The fabric on the inside is beyond soft, almost fluffy.


    ¡°Wow, they are comfortable!¡±


    He smiles and my heart melts. He¡¯s so handsome and it shocks me every time I see his face. How¡¯d I get so lucky? Seth¡¯s pinky finger hooks around mine and he leads me down the stairs. There¡¯s a cleaner, vacuuming the last of the glass at the bottom of the stairs. She gives us a pissed off nod and rolls her vacuum out the door, leaving Seth and I alone with his team.


    ¡°I see you went ahead and redecorated the room.¡± Darryl states, leaning against the railing at the bottom of the steps.


    ¡°I may have lost control.¡± Seth replies like it¡¯s no big deal.


    ¡°In more ways than one, I see.¡±


    Seth pulls me along behind him over to the long white couches. He draws me into his lap, wrapping both his arms around my waist. If I wasn¡¯t embarrassed enough, I actually feel like vomiting now. Seth plants soft kisses on the back of my shoulder. No doubt he¡¯s trying to ease my nerves. Unfortunately, everyone¡¯s eyes are on us... there is no easing my nerves.


    ¡°Four.¡± Jackson announces, holding half a bottle of bourbon in the air. Seth drank all that? ¡°The bourbon makes it a total of four times tonight that you couldn¡¯t control yourself. Four.¡± Jackson is pissed off. His green eyes are narrowed in on Seth and I don¡¯t like being in between them. I really can¡¯t handle another fight tonight.


    ¡°What the fuck, Seth?¡± Darryl demands.


    ¡°Don¡¯t act like fucking saints. I didn¡¯t have to go out tonight, but you dubbed me designated driver, remember?¡±


    Jackson exhales.


    ¡°And if you didn¡¯t pay for that stripper to give Olivia a lap dance Don wouldn¡¯t have gotten all horny and possessive. I don¡¯t regret punching that motherfucker in the face and I¡¯d do it again right now.¡±


    Silence. Nobody said a word to contest Seth.


    ¡°Anyway,¡± He continues. ¡°How¡¯d it all go down? Am I out of the tournament or not?¡±


    I can hear the bitter disappointment in his voice and I drop my gaze to Seth¡¯s hands around my waist.


    ¡°No.¡±


    My head snaps to Darryl and Seth squeezes me in reaction to his words.


    ¡°Don refuses to claim that it happened even though his team is desperately pushing for him to reconsider, but he won¡¯t budge. He must really hate you.¡±


    Seth shrugs. ¡°What about Polaris? They¡¯ll have video proof.¡±


    ¡°It may be classy, but it¡¯s still a strip joint run by pimps that¡¯ll keep their mouth shut for money. The tapes are gone.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s it?¡± I ask, eagerly. ¡°Everything is over?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Darryl¡¯s brown eyes flick to his hands and then back to my face. ¡°I can¡¯t let you come backstage anymore. It¡¯s too risky with Don lurking around.¡±


    ¡°Like hell.¡± Seth snaps. ¡°I want her in my room.¡±


    Darryl steps forward, drawing himself to full height. He¡¯s standing his ground and he isn¡¯t going to budge. ¡°What happened tonight will not happen again. Do you understand how close you came to losing it all? And over some petty bullshit.¡± He shakes his head. ¡°What would your dad say? Hm? That¡¯s why you¡¯re doing this, isn¡¯t it? For your dad?¡±


    Seth tries to slide me off him, but I hold onto his hands as tightly as I can. I turn my head as much as I can to get a look at his face. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± I tell him. ¡°I can sit in the crowd for the next two matches. It¡¯s not a big deal.¡±


    ¡°For the next two matches, until Don is no longer in the game.¡± Jackson assures Seth.


    Seth huffs. ¡°Fine. Is that all?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Now let me check that Goddamn eyebrow.¡± I slide off Seth as Darryl approaches him.


    He gestures for a team member to hand him a little box. Darryl pulls out creams and little pieces of materials and begins working on Seth¡¯s eyebrow. The whole time Darryl is cursing and complaining about its position, I go find Jackson who¡¯s pouring himself a big glass of bourbon in the kitchen. I take a tray of ice cubes from the freezer and hand them to him.


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°Why is Darryl so pissed? It¡¯s a small cut...¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s on the brow though.¡± He takes a large sip of his bourbon, spilling a little on his red shirt. ¡°Josh Donskov will use that against Seth. The brow is a shit place to get cut. Once punch, elbow¡ªshit¡ªeven a slap could reopen it. If it bleeds too much and leaks into the eye, they¡¯ll call the fight.¡±


    ¡°How do we stop that from happening?¡±


    He laughs. ¡°We can¡¯t do anything except lather it with Vaseline and hope Josh¡¯s fists slide off of it. The rest is up to Seth, he¡¯ll have to guard that eyebrow with his life.¡±


    Panic rises in the pit of my stomach as I realize the severity of the situation¡ªof the cut. Fuck.


    ¡°Wow, you look like you¡¯re going to puke.¡± He slides his glass over to me and I pick it up, taking a large mouthful. I swallow it, clenching my teeth against the burn. ¡°Relax. He¡¯s a big boy. He knows what he¡¯s doing.¡±


    That¡¯s comforting... kind of.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the stripper. I meant it only as harmless fun, I swear.¡± His green eyes flare apologetically.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. I didn¡¯t mean to freak out, but I¡¯ve never been in a strip club before let alone kissed a girl. That¡¯s more Selena¡¯s thing.¡±


    His bronze eyebrows reach his hairline. Shit. I hope I didn¡¯t just scare him away from her. ¡°Really?¡±


    I gasp at him, trying to take back what I said and a huge, wide smile creeps across his face. ¡°That¡¯s good to know. Thank you.¡±


    Jackson looks over my shoulder and I turn around to see Seth¡¯s half naked body leaning against the doorframe. Darryl sticks his head into the kitchen. ¡°C¡¯mon, Jackson. Time for bed, we have a big day tomorrow¡ªyou too, Seth. I¡¯d tell you two no sex, but everyone knows you¡¯ve recently disregarded that rule.¡±


    Darryl narrows his eyes at me before smiling widely. ¡°Goodnight, Olivia.¡±


    I wave sheepishly at him, flushing to the tenth power. I look at Seth from under my lashes and he¡¯s watching me with a little cocky, unapologetic smile, his eyes glimmering.


    Jackson pats me on the shoulder as he passes me and elbows Seth in the ribs. Seth slaps Jackson on the back of the head and they exchange a manly hug. It¡¯s admiring to watch.


    When everyone is gone, Seth and I head upstairs.


    The cool sheets engulf us, sending goosebumps over my skin. Seth¡¯s arms reach out for me, pulling me in and I happily shuffle closer to him. He places light kiss on my jaw and I feel him undo the strings that are holding up my pants. He pushes down on one side of them and I lift my hips, helping him to slide them down. I kick them off and throw them to the floor. My legs brush against Seth¡¯s and my pulse kicks up when I realize he¡¯s naked. He pulls me on top of him without breaking a sweat and his hands roam over my stomach and hips. I¡¯m too aroused to feel the ache of the bruise. He nudges my shirt higher and I pull it over my head. ¡°You need sleep.¡± I whisper.

 Page 39

    ¡°Not yet.¡±Advertisement


    In the dark, I can just make out his silhouette underneath me, reigniting the desire inside me. Then again, is it ever really gone when he¡¯s around? His fingertips curl around the edge of my bra, and there¡¯s no hint of hesitation as he tugs it swiftly downward, forcing my breasts to spill over the now-useless cups. My skin doesn¡¯t get a chance to register the feeling of being free before they¡¯re suddenly enveloped in by his hot, wet mouth.


    ¡°Seth!¡± I gasp as my body begins to tremble.


    His hands grasp my shoulder blades and he yanks me roughly toward him, forcing my tits even closer to his face. My back arches sharply and I moan toward the ceiling as my head falls limply. I can feel his arousal pressing against my ass cheek and I shiver at the thought of it entering me again.


    He bucks his hips, rolling me off of him and him onto me. His mouth nips at my bottom lip, before slipping his tongue in. His hands glide up my sides, grabbing my wrists and pinning them above my head. My breathing gets instantly shallow as his wet tongue traces my jaw and my neck. It runs across my collar bone and I shiver at the line of tingles it leaves in its wake. Right now, I¡¯m in heaven and loving every second of it. Seth makes me feel wanted, beautiful and a million other things. Lust is the obvious call, but it¡¯s so much more than that. It¡¯s love. I know it is. I¡¯ve loved him for a while, I just had no idea how to describe it or if it even was love, but now I know it is. I¡¯m certain. I¡¯m the kind of certain that makes people swear on their children¡¯s lives or bet entire college funds on a hand in poker. I¡¯ve never felt anything so strong and it¡¯s love¡ªactual love. Heart wrenching, stomach churning, toe curling love.


    I¡¯ve been completely consumed by him and I didn¡¯t even know it.


    Chapter Seventeen


    Long frissons of nervous energy tear through me as Seth bounces on his toes in front of me. I¡¯m beyond anxious¡ªunable to experience one specific emotion. It¡¯s all mashed together¡ªexcitement. Nervousness. Frustration. Anticipation. His brown eyes fall onto me and I can see the anxiousness in his face. He doesn¡¯t like that I wasn¡¯t in his room before the fight and neither do I. I want to know what he¡¯s thinking. I want to help ease him. The thick layer of Vaseline glistens on his eyebrow and I pray to God that it helps. Seth and I are so caught up in our own little world we don¡¯t even realize his opponent, Joshua Donskov, tearing toward the ring with an angry stomp. He¡¯s a big boy¡ªa very big boy and not just tall, but wide, too. His short, blond curls bounce on the top of his head and I trap my hands between my knees to prevent myself from chewing my nails. Beside me, there¡¯s an empty seat. It¡¯s meant to be Dad¡¯s. What I wouldn¡¯t give to have him and Selena here with me. As I finish the thought, a large frame drops into the seat next to me, but I pay no attention to it. At least, not until Seth¡¯s eyes narrow in on whomever it is. I slowly turn my head and I¡¯m actually not that surprised to see Don¡¯s annoying mug smiling back at Seth. Don appears worse off than Seth does. Don has a split lip and a cut in the middle of his nose that¡¯s held together with butterfly stitches. I look at Darryl and Jackson. They¡¯re rigid and they glance anxiously between the two fighters. Darryl leans over and calls through the wire to Seth.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t see you leave Seth¡¯s room. I was worried I¡¯d driven a wedge between you two last night.¡±


    I swallow my nerves. ¡°Yeah, you look real beaten up about it.¡±


    His thick, jean clad leg leans against my bare skin and I feel like I¡¯ve dipped my feet into a box of baby spiders and now they¡¯re running up my leg. I shiver and lean away from him.


    ¡°Come on.¡± He laughs. ¡°I¡¯m not that bad. I did let your little boyfriend continue in the tournament. You should be on your knees, thanking me.¡±


    I cringe, but don¡¯t respond to him. I¡¯m not going to fuel the fire between Seth and Don. Seth flexes his fingers, balling them into fists and relaxing them again. I nod my head at him, assuring him not to worry about me. He rolls his shoulders back and focuses on Josh. Josh keeps his eyes fixated on Seth, not taking his eyes of him for a second. The announcer is rattling off a bunch of sponsors but I can¡¯t hear him. I¡¯m too busy focusing on Seth and ignoring Don¡¯s presence.


    ¡°If you¡¯re here to distract him, it¡¯s not going to work.¡± I mutter, pulling my dress down to cover my knees. Don rests an arm on the back of my chair, his index finger brushing along my shoulder and I lean forward to get away from him.


    ¡°Let¡¯s do this.¡± The referee calls.


    Once the match begins, it¡¯s easier to ignore Don and I trap my hands between my knees again, keeping my eyes peeled. I can¡¯t look away, not this time. Seth¡¯s hands are up, covering his face¡ªespecially his eyebrow. Josh comes in hard and fast and Seth manages to block most of the punches. The body shots, however, he couldn¡¯t avoid unless he wanted to expose the cut on his eyebrow.


    ¡°It¡¯s a shame about his eyebrow. That¡¯s gotta¡¯ be a little inconvenient, especially when going up against a brawler. With them there¡¯s no real technique, you see. All they do is punch.¡±


    Seth and Josh bounce around the ring, punching and punching. I flinch in my seat every time Josh lands a hit. He knows Seth has a busted brow and he¡¯s really trying to get him to drop his guard. Seth kicks Josh¡¯s legs out from underneath him and dives onto him. He begins to pound his face into the floor of the ring. Josh¡¯s hands are up and he¡¯s trying to protect his face. In my pocket my phone buzzes and I really don¡¯t want to answer it, not now, but I can¡¯t ignore it. Last time it was serious. I pull it from my pocket and look at the screen¡ªa private number. I bring it to my ear, blocking the other with my index finger. ¡°Hello?¡±


    ¡°Hello, is Olivia James there please.¡±


    My chest tightens. ¡°Speaking.¡±


    ¡°Miss James... my name is Doctor Monica Falen.¡± My heart stops. ¡°You¡¯re father was brought in this evening after suffering a second heart attack... I¡¯m sorry, but there was nothing we could do.¡±


    It doesn¡¯t register with me. I don¡¯t understand what she¡¯s trying to say. ¡°What do you mean?¡± I ask, hoping I misheard her. Don leans closer to say something to me, but I press my palm to his face to shut him up.


    ¡°You¡¯re father has passed on.¡±


    I stare straight ahead not seeing anything. The crowd is going crazy, but they seem muffled to me.


    ¡°Miss James?¡±


    I drop my hand into my lap. I think I¡¯m going to be sick. My phone is clenched tightly in my hand as I leap out of my seat and squeeze through the crowd. I need to get out of here. I have no idea where I¡¯m going, but I follow an aisle blindly until I¡¯m stopped by a group of security guards. I show them my pass and they let me through. It¡¯s sinking in now and my heart squeezes in my chest. I quickly dart down the corridor wildly, unsure of where to go. I turn left, then right, then another left. I can hear distant rumble of a bloodthirsty crowd. Their footsteps hammer against the roof above me. I see Seth¡¯s name on a door and I dive through it, closing it behind me with a thud. I don¡¯t want to be in here, but I have nowhere else to go. I stumble to the far wall and push my body against its cold concrete. I slide to the ground, my arms closing tightly against my chest as the first waves of anguish hit me. Choked sobs wrack my chest as tears pour over the brim of my eyes. I don¡¯t even try to hold back my tears while my chest heaves. I cover my mouth with both of my hands and bring my knees up to my chest. I¡¯m in Boston. I need to be in Portland. I¡¯m not even startled as the door flies open, slamming against the concrete. I don¡¯t look as Seth shouts for his team to leave us alone. I feel his damp, warm hands touch my shoulders and I lift my face from my hand to look at his face. His eyebrow is bleeding and there¡¯s a fresh cut on his bottom lip. His lips are moving, but I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s saying.


    ¡°Olivia,¡± He says again and I can hear his strained, worried voice. ¡°Are you okay? What¡¯s wrong? Did he hurt you?¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°It¡¯s dad... he¡¯s¡ª¡± I can¡¯t finish the sentence and bury my head back into the palms of my hands.


    ¡°I¡¯m so, so sorry, O.¡± He whispers. His soft lips brush the top of my head. I take in a gasp of air as I try to control my sobs. His hands curl around my own, pulling them away from my face. I angle my head. I don¡¯t want him to look at me. I can only imagine how puffy my eyes are or how smudged my make-up must be. The tips of his finger curl underneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. He looks down at me with a sorrowful expression that screams how helpless he feels and he tugs me into him, cradling me in his arms as I cry against his already wet chest. The tip of his thumb strokes my cheek, wiping away my tears.


    ¡°Did you win?¡± I ask him, sniffling.


    All he does is nod.


    ¡°I-I need to go home.¡±


    ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll take you.¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°Can you call Selena and ask her to come and get me?¡± Seth opens his mouth to protest me, but I cut in. ¡°I want to be with my mom...¡±


    His brows furrow, but he doesn¡¯t fight me. He knows how Mom feels about him and now is not the time to rub ¡®us¡¯ in her face. Not to mention Seth needs to be in Boston training with his team and preparing for Las Vegas. He doesn¡¯t need this distraction. ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll call Selena, but let me take you to the hotel first.¡±


    He pulls me in tighter as he rises to his feet. I feel heavy, but Seth carries me without a strain. I keep my face buried into his neck to avoid people¡¯s eyes when we¡¯re outside of the room. I can hear people talk and whisper¡ªthey¡¯re probably staring too. I cling harder to Seth and his thumb strokes my lower back. I hear Darryl and Jackson ask Seth what¡¯s wrong with me and he only shakes his head. Darryl and Jackson help clear everybody out of our way and it feels like an eternity later that we reach the car. Seth pushes me into the backseat and climbs in after me, pulling me back onto his lap. Tears silently fall from me and I keep my eyes shut as his lips press firmly against my head.


    ¡°I¡¯ll drive you two back to the hotel. Darryl is going to stay and take care of the interviews.¡± Jackson says as he climbs into the front seat.


    I rock gently as the car drives us out of the center and through the streets of Boston. Seth drops the window a little, letting cool air hit my face. It lifts strands of hair that cling to my cheeks and dries my face.


    I don¡¯t know how long we drive for, but it feels like only seconds later I¡¯m being pulled out of the car by Seth. I wonder what the other residents are thinking, seeing Seth carry me into the hotel like this again. I¡¯m almost certain the hotel will ban us soon. Jackson doesn¡¯t follow us up into our room, thank God, and I open my eyes when Seth lies me down on our bed and I hear the shower start up. A few seconds later, Seth leans over me. ¡°Will you let me take care of you before you go?¡±


    He doesn¡¯t wait for an answer. He scoops me up again, bringing me into the bathroom. I hate that he has to see me like this and has to care for me. He pulls the hem of my dress, tugging the fabric up over my head. He folds it and sets it nicely on the sink behind me. I watch him bleary eyed as his fingers curl around the band of my underwear and he slides them down the full length of my legs. I kick them off as they pool around my feet. Seth¡¯s hands caress my ankles and then up the back of my calves, over my knees and up the sides of my thighs. I let out a sob, unable to suppress it and he flinches. I¡¯m upsetting him by being so distraught, but he understands. He¡¯s been through this before. I wonder if he had anyone to caress him when his dad died? His arms surround me and I rest my head against his chest as he unclips my bra and it falls to the floor between us. He holds me for a little while longer, letting me cry on his shoulder. Then, he ushers me toward the shower and I stand directly underneath it, letting the water cascade over my head and down the rest of my body. Seth joins me, neglecting to take off his own pants. He reaches for the body wash and lathers up his hands. I step out of the flow of water, and press the palms of my hand against the cold tiles, giving him better access to my back. He drapes my hair over one of my shoulders and slowly massages soap into my skin. I drop my head and his fingers slide up the back of my neck to my hair line. I close my eyes, trying to block out the pain, but it¡¯s not working. The more I try the deeper it cuts.


    His soapy hands run under my armpits and down my sides. My body shakes a little as I try to suppress the sobs cramping in my throat. Seth steps closer, pressing his front against my back. He stops washing to hold me and I¡¯m glad he¡¯s here with me. It doesn¡¯t do much to ease the pain, but it¡¯s helping me deal with it. It makes me feel like I¡¯m not alone. He twists me around so I face him and his hand slides into the nape of my neck, pulling my head forward so our noses are touching. I open my eyes and his lips twitch sympathetically at me.


    ¡°It¡¯ll get better.¡± He says, ¡°I promise you.¡±


    He kisses me softly¡ªcomfortingly. Right now, I can¡¯t imagine it getting any better. My dad is gone. My brother and I are without a father. My mother is without a husband and what¡¯s going to happen to the gym? A new onslaught of tears stream from my eyes and Seth presses me firmly against him. My mom is all alone right now. Who¡¯s there to comfort her?


    ¡°Can you call Selena, please?¡± I sob, wiping my eyes because they sting from the running mascara. ¡°I need to go home.¡±


    He nods his head and I step back under the stream of water, letting it beat down on my back. Seth leaves to make the call and I feel worse without his presence. I have no reason to stop myself from completely breaking down, but thankfully I hit a ¡®numb¡¯ spot and the tears stopped flowing completely, leaving me feeling... empty.

 Page 40

    Seth opens the door to the shower. A towel his wrapped loosely around his hips. ¡°Selena is on her way.¡±Advertisement


    I shut the tap off and step out. He grabs a purple towel and wraps it around my shoulders. His arms rub up and down, drying me. ¡°Seth¡ª¡±


    ¡°Please... just let me take care of you.¡± The thin, golden honey rivers in his irises flash desperately and so I lift my arms. He dries my torso quickly and softly before starting on my lower half. I close my eyes and his lips brush over the skin of my hips after he dries it with a towel, making me shiver. He drops the towel and leads me into the bedroom. He flicks the light on and then dims it to its lowest setting. He slips into a pair of black track pants and I notice a set of clothes are laid out on the bed¡ªthe pair of drawstring pants I wore last night included.


    ¡°I want you to be comfortable tonight.¡±


    He slides a t-shirt bra over my arms and clips it behind my back. He reaches for my underwear and kneels before me, holding them out around my feet. I step into them and he pulls them all the way up, kissing my navel as his face hovers in front of it. I run my fingers through his wet hair to let him know he¡¯s doing well. I don¡¯t want to shut him off completely. I slide into the pants and he ties them tightly, preventing them from falling down. Finally, he pulls a pink t-shirt over my head and smiles at me. I do feel comfortable. I hear a low murmuring of voices down stairs and my comfort slips out the window. I hate crying in front of people and there¡¯s no way I can pretend not to be completely devastated.


    ¡°Darryl and Jackson are here.¡± He points to his lip. ¡°They want to check out my cuts. You don¡¯t have to come down. Stay here and I¡¯ll be back.¡±


    I fall onto the bed, hugging a pillow between my legs and my arms. I feel sick and I want my mom. I don¡¯t care how childish it sounds. I want her to hold me, to be brave for me because God knows I¡¯m a fucking mess and it¡¯s only going to get worse. I should have stayed in Portland. Dad wanted me to go to Boston and I didn¡¯t think twice about it. I called him a few times this week and every time he told me he felt fine and he was happy. I don¡¯t know much about heart attacks. Do they all ¡®just happen¡¯ or are there a lot of symptoms you can go off before it hits? There¡¯s so much I should have researched about it... I should have stayed.


    I lie on the bed for a while, thinking about Mom and Chase. Does he even know? Will they give him time to come back for his father¡¯s funeral? I hope so.


    ¡°Where is she?¡± I hear a female voice ask. Not a second later, heels click rapidly up the stairs. Have I been laying here for two hours already? I shoot up in the bed as Selena tears through the door, her eyes glistening with tears. ¡°O?¡± She whispers.


    Seeing her brings memories of home and I break down all over again. She rushes over to me, drawing me into her arms. I cry into her chest, getting tears all over her satin t-shirt.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe it.¡± She cries with me. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    Her fingers brush through my hair as her body shakes with her own tears.


    ¡°He¡¯s gone.¡± I sob. ¡°And I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m supposed to do.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you home.¡± She holds me for a little while longer, until I manage to stem the flow of tears and pull away.


    ¡°I¡¯ll gather a few things and meet you downstairs.¡±


    She leaves the room and I wobble to my feet. I feel so weak, like I¡¯ve cried all of the energy from my body. I enter the bathroom and pick up all of my clothes. I stuff them into my suitcase and zip it up as Seth¡¯s frame appears in the door. ¡°Are you ready?¡±


    I nod. ¡°I think so.¡±


    He steps forward and I see his eyebrow is appropriately bandaged and his lip gleams with some kind of clear cream. ¡°Can I walk you out?¡±


    His question makes me smile, even if it is just a twitch of my lip. ¡°Of course you can.¡±


    He grabs the handle of my suitcase and pulls it from my hand. I follow closely behind him and squint as we step out of the room and into the brightness of the lounge. I walk down the stairs one by one. There is an awkwardness to the atmosphere and I know Darryl and Jackson are trying hard not to look at me. Are they afraid I¡¯ll freak out and break down?


    ¡°All set?¡± Selena asks, as she slips out of Jackson¡¯s embrace. When I step from the stairs and onto the carpet she wraps and arm around my waist.


    Darryl wrings a cap in his hand and steps toward me. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry to hear about your dad...¡±


    My throat constricts and I swallow hard. I¡¯m not going to cry, not while someone is giving their condolences. I don¡¯t want to make it anymore uncomfortable for them. ¡°He was a really great guy and I¡¯m honored I got to meet Rick. The team won¡¯t be the same without him.¡±


    It hurt to smile, but I managed to force one. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Jackson didn¡¯t say anything. Instead, he grabs my shoulders and pulls me into a hug. When he steps away from me, he gives me a tight smile and turns to Selena. She releases my waist and wraps her arms around him. Seth and I walk to the front door and wait in the hallway while Selena and Jackson kiss, hug, talk and whatever else they¡¯re doing.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to miss you, you know.¡± Seth says, caressing my arm with his index finger.


    ¡°You¡¯ll call me?¡± I ask, missing his voice already.


    ¡°Every day.¡± He glances awkwardly over to the others.


    Selena and Jackson are locked in some kind of epic battle with their tongues and Darryl has his back to them, looking out the window into the city.


    When Jackson releases her, Selena straightens her purple satin blouse, with the ruffles on the front, and walks toward us. She takes my suitcase from Seth and walks a head of us, giving us as much privacy as she can. His thick fingers entwine with mine and it feels amazing. I don''t want to go to the lobby. I don''t want to leave him behind.


    The lobby is as busy as ever¡ªhow convenient. People¡ªespecially women¡ªstare at Seth''s naked upper half. Some flush, others look away in fear at the sight of his busted lip and eyebrow. He looks a little rough with his cuts and his tattoos, not to mention his hard muscles, but he¡¯s definitely a softy. The same hands that clench and slam into flesh are the same hands that carried me home, undressed me and massaged soap into my skin. I stop Seth as Selena exits the hotel. I want to talk to him alone.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry I ruined your big night.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re sorry my night was ruined?¡± He shakes his head. ¡°Always selfless.¡±


    I step closer and reach up, pressing a kiss to his lips. He runs his cool fingers underneath my shirt and along my stomach. I¡¯m going to miss his touch so much and his smile. He cups my face, running his thumbs over my cheeks. ¡°I¡¯ll be home as soon as this thing is over.¡±


    I stare into his brown eyes and they glimmer with so much emotion that I can¡¯t pinpoint what exactly. I press my lips to his one more time and attempt to turn away, but he snags my arm and pulls me back into him, making me gasp.


    He exhales heavily and moistens his lips. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to say anything, not yet, but in light of what¡¯s happened, I feel like it¡¯s something you should hear right now...¡± he pauses, staring directly into my eyes and smiles a little. ¡°Fuck. I¡¯m such a mess. I¡¯ve never had to do this before.¡±


    Do what? I lean back a little, eyeing him cautiously. What does he want to say? I¡¯ve read enough romance novels to rightfully assume he¡¯s setting up for an ¡®I love you¡¯ but that¡¯s surely not what he¡¯s going to sa¡ª.


    ¡°I love you.¡±


    My mouth drops slightly, my stomach following suit. That¡¯s exactly what he was setting up for. Surely I misheard him... He watches my face, waiting for a reaction¡ªor anything at all. He seems tense, like he¡¯s expecting me to run.


    ¡°You love me?¡± I ask slowly, sounding completely dumbstruck.


    ¡°Abso-fucking-lutely.¡±


    My emotions are already all over the place and I don¡¯t know how to register what he just confessed to me. I try to say something, but only a gust of useless air comes out.


    ¡°I¡ª¡± Oh God. I can feel a buildup of tears threatening.


    The harder I try not to cry, the more I blink and the more I blink, the more my eyes water. Seth¡¯s eyes widen a fraction before crushing me to his chest.


    ¡°To be honest, I expected you to slap me, not cry.¡±


    I choke out a laugh. ¡°I know, I¡¯m sorry. You caught me off guard...I-I love you, too, so much.¡±


    He pulls away, catching my face in his hands again. ¡°You don¡¯t have to say it back now. I know your emotional and¡ª¡±


    I shake my head. ¡°I knew I loved you before tonight¡ªlong before tonight.¡±


    ¡°When were you going to tell me? Never?¡±


    I shrug. ¡°You¡¯re a very intimidating guy.¡±


    He laughs and I love the sound. It¡¯s music to my ears and medicine to my heart. For the last time he yanks me into him, pulling my feet off the floor and squeezing firmly. A little too firmly and my ribs ache.


    ¡°Well, now that the hard part is over we can say it all we like.¡± He breathes into the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. ¡°I love you, God, I love you so much!¡±


    A few more tears roll down my cheeks. I need to go now. The time has come to separate myself from Seth, but I can¡¯t even though it¡¯s only temporary. I hold on to him with everything that I have. I want to beg him to come with me and I know he would, no questions asked. He¡¯s already proven that he¡¯d give up everything he¡¯s worked so hard to achieve, for me. His breath warms my neck and he presses soft kisses to it as he lowers my feet back to the ground.


    ¡°I should go.¡±


    ¡°If you need anything, even a hug, call me.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d travel to Portland and back just to give me a hug?¡±


    He scoffs at me like it¡¯s obvious. ¡°I¡¯d fly to the moon and back to comfort you when you need it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re crazy.¡± I chuckle, walking away from him.


    He rests his hands on top of his head, and tufts of dark armpit hair jut outwards. ¡°So I¡¯ve been told.¡±


    I look over my shoulder one last time as I push through the revolving doors. I drink in his features¡ªthe delicious oblique¡¯s and narrow hips. The clear cut of his abs, the hard chest and intricate tattoos I still had no clue about, and lastly, his face¡ªhis gorgeous face. His full lips are half smiling, half pouting and his eyes are glued to me, watching me walk away.


    I jump straight into Selena¡¯s shiny, silver sports car and she takes us away from the hotel. She doesn¡¯t say much for the first half of the drive. I know she¡¯s hurting too and I don¡¯t push her. Selena adored my father and he adored her¡ªeven my mother adored Selena even though Selena swears Mom isn¡¯t a big fan of hers.


    ¡°So you want me to take you to your parent¡¯s house?¡± Selena asks me. Her voice quivers and she swallows hard.


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s where Mom will be.¡± I¡¯m dying to get home, but I don¡¯t know how she¡¯ll be when I get there. The death of Seth¡¯s dad sent his Mom off the rails... would that happen to my mom? How would I handle that? The thought makes me cringe. I never really gave Seth props for looking after his mother for so long. It must be painful...seeing someone you love so much not care anymore. I close my eyes. Dear God, please let my mom be okay. Please give her the strength to get through this. I¡¯m not one to pray, I don¡¯t think I ever have been, but I¡¯m desperate. I can¡¯t handle my mom going off the tracks.


    Not tonight.


    I take a few deep breaths when we pull up outside my parent¡¯s home. Looking at it hurts. I glance at Selena and she¡¯s staring at it too. ¡°Should I go in and see Sandra?¡±


    I nod despite the feelings telling me to give Mom space. ¡°Yeah, come in and if she¡¯s too upset you can go.¡±


    I look at the house again. I can see the glow of the living room light through the cracks in the curtain. She¡¯s definitely home. When we climb out of the car, I catch my bottom lip between my teeth. Already Portland feels like it has changed. Selena and I walk noisily across the pebbles¡ªeven a noise as simple as that screams home. I blow air out of my cheeks. I need to pull myself together. On the other side of that wooden door Mom might need me and I need to be strong for her. I knock on the door, giving her a moment to gather her composure¡ªif she needs to. Surprisingly, the door opens quickly and I¡¯m looking at Mom¡¯s smiling face. She wipes her hands on her rose patterned apron.


    ¡°Oh honey, you¡¯re home early. Hi, Selena. Please, come in.¡± She steps to the side, but Selena and I don¡¯t move. I watch her closely. She hardly seems affected by the death of her husband.


    ¡°Mom?¡±


    She tucks a stray curl behind her ear. ¡°Don¡¯t stand out there, come inside. I¡¯ve made pie, are you hungry?¡±


    What the hell is going on? I realize my hands are clenched into balls at my sides. I don¡¯t know whether to be shocked, angry or worried.


    ¡°I should go.¡± Selena mutters, pinching my arm. ¡°Sorry for your loss, Mrs. James.¡±


    Mom¡¯s smile almost falters, but she manages to nod and thank her. Mom pulls me into the house, closing the door behind me. Smells, different delicious smells engulf me and I inhale. Mom disappears into the kitchen and I stand staring after her.


    ¡°I¡¯ll set the table.¡± She calls out. ¡°We can have dinner together.¡±


    I force my legs toward the kitchen, my gaze falling over the photo frames filled with loving family memories. There¡¯s one photo that catches my attention. It¡¯s my dad outside his gym holding the ¡®SOLD¡¯ sign. His face is so vibrant, so alive. I unclench my hands and shakily reach out for it. Before I can touch it, I pull my hand back as my chest tightens unbearably and I bite my tongue against a sob. I¡¯ll never see his face again. I¡¯ll never hug him or kiss him... he¡¯s actually gone. I yank my shirt up to wipe my eyes. I need to be strong for Mom, something is definitely wrong here. I step into the kitchen.

 Page 41

    ¡°Mom...¡± I¡¯m looking at the kitchen benches filled with golden pastries and pies of all kinds. Mom pulls a roast chicken from the oven, surrounded by crispy roast vegetables. My hand flies up to cover my mouth. She¡¯s out of control. She¡¯s been cooking none stop¡ªall of my dad¡¯s favorite foods.Advertisement


    ¡°Are you hungry?¡± She beams at me, but then I see it. Her face is strained, she¡¯s trying really hard not break and I¡¯m not sure if she¡¯s doing it for me, herself or Dad. It¡¯s the saddest thing I¡¯ve ever seen and I have no idea what to do.


    ¡°Mom,¡± I say again. I hate that it¡¯s the only thing I manage to squeeze out of my mouth.


    She looks at me, her bottom lip quivering. She shakes her head and carries the hot tray toward the empty dining table. She manages to burn her finger before she gets there, dropping the roast chicken and vegetables onto the floor. Mom¡¯s hands shoot up to cover her mouth and I reach out for her, but she flinches away, tearing out another piece of my heart.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay,¡± She breathes swallowing her sadness.


    ¡°Talk to me.¡± I tell her. ¡°Please, say something.¡±


    She leans against the bench, pushing two pies onto the floor. They smash on the tiles, sending purple and red colors everywhere, filling the room with a delicious fruit smell. She¡¯s trembling uncontrollably, but she refuses to acknowledge it. ¡°We¡¯ll have to have apple pie for dinner. I hope that¡¯s okay.¡±


    She pulls a knife from the top drawer and cuts at the pie.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want pie.¡± My voice is stern and I don¡¯t want to upset her, but she¡¯s freaking me out.


    ¡°Well, what do you want?¡±


    ¡°I want you to talk to me.¡±


    She slams the knife into the sink and I jump slightly. ¡°What do you want me to say, Olivia? I¡¯m trying to move on!¡±


    The hole in my chest deepens. ¡°This is your idea of moving on? Cooking all of Dad¡¯s favorite foods?¡± She keeps her eyes on the sink. ¡°You don¡¯t have to move on, not yet. He died a few hours ago... a few hours, Mom. You need to grieve, you need to feel...¡±


    She snaps. ¡°You want me to feel? You want me to break?¡± Mom grabs the apple pie and throws it to the ground. She stomps on it while grabbing a tray of pumpkin pastries. She throws the ceramic serving dish against the cupboard and it smashes. I flinch, unable to hold back my tears. I watch her completely destroy everything in the kitchen, including herself and I can¡¯t do anything.


    Food and glass splatter and rebound off my skin while she screams, spitting and crying everywhere. I¡¯ve never seen anything so heartbreaking in my life. She slides down the cupboard, crying so hard her face turns red. Her mouth is open, her eyes closed tightly and lines of spit are falling out. She drags her legs up to her chest and rests her head against them. I step across glass and food just to get to her. I need to hold her, to let her know I¡¯m here for her. I pull her into me and she cries on my shoulder. I¡¯ve never felt so helpless than I do in this moment. I can¡¯t help my mom, I can¡¯t even help myself.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I cry, stroking her hair. ¡°We¡¯re going to be okay.¡±


    Technically, I lied. I have no idea if we¡¯ll be okay. I have no idea what tomorrow will be like or if this is ever going to get any easier, but I did now that even though this family has lost an important member, we are still a family and that won¡¯t change. The process is going to be long and painful, but I know we¡¯ll get through it. That¡¯s what families do, isn¡¯t it? They help each other through difficult times?


    ¡°I should go to bed.¡± Mom sobs. ¡°I want to be alone.¡±


    She pulls away from me and climbs unsteadily to her feet.


    ¡°Do you want a shower?¡±


    She doesn¡¯t answer me and I follow her to her bedroom, but I don¡¯t get a foot in the door as she closes it in my face. I rest my forehead against the cool wood. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought it¡¯d be...maybe I shouldn¡¯t have come home.


    I turn down the hallway and enter my old room. I flick the light on. It¡¯s exactly as I remember it¡ªthe white double bed with pink sheets, the white vanity table and big brown bookshelf. It isn¡¯t much, but it¡¯s familiar. I flick the light off, using the light that filters in from the street to guide me. I pull my phone from my pocket, slide out of my pants and pull my shirt off. The cool, clean sheets welcome me as I slide between them. This may be my room, but it smells strongly of this house, which smells like Mom and Dad¡ªI don¡¯t know¡ªI can¡¯t explain the scent. It¡¯s a smell that¡¯s unique to the house. It smells like home. Through blurry eyes I unlock my phone and see that I have a text from Seth.


    FROM: SETH. TIME: 12:36 A.M


    I miss you...


    I call him. I know he needs sleep and I know I spoke to him a few hours ago, but I need to hear his voice. My heart sends a rapid pulse around my body when I hear his husky voice answer. ¡°O?¡±


    ¡°Hey,¡± I twist lock of my hair around my index finger.


    ¡°How¡¯d it go?¡±


    There¡¯s the question I was kind of hoping to avoid. Then again, if that were true I wouldn¡¯t have called him. I can¡¯t tell him. I can¡¯t talk about it yet. Seeing Mom lose control and break down killed me. When I picture it in my mind, my heart breaks all over again. I inhale shakily, unaware that I¡¯ve started crying. Seth doesn¡¯t say anything else, just listens.


    ¡°How did you do it?¡± I ask, my voice shaking. ¡°How did you handle seeing your Mom so broken?¡±


    I hear him expel a breath. ¡°I didn¡¯t. I took off, leaving her to deal with all on her own.¡±


    ¡°But you¡ª¡±


    ¡°I deal with it now, but in the beginning I couldn¡¯t. It was too hard for me. I guess that¡¯s why I feel responsible for her...¡±


    I let his words sink in. Seth blames himself for his mother¡¯s alcohol addiction because he wasn¡¯t there to support her when she needed it. Maybe it is a good idea I came home after all. Would she have kept cooking if I hadn¡¯t? The thought terrifies me.


    ¡°How was your mom when you got home?¡± He asked me.


    I cringe, picturing her eerily, happy smile. ¡°I can¡¯t even... You wouldn¡¯t believe me if I told you.¡±


    ¡°Try me.¡±


    I wrack my brain trying to think of a way to describe what happened. It was madness. Chaotic. Heart breaking. ¡°She was happy...and I was so mad, but when I came inside¡ªinto the kitchen¡ªit was filled with all of Dad¡¯s favorite foods and...then she completely lost control¡± I swallow a sob. ¡°I-I can¡¯t...¡±


    ¡°People have different way of coping. If she¡¯s expressing emotion then that¡¯s a good sign.¡±


    I nod even though he can¡¯t see me.


    ¡°I miss you already. It¡¯s insane.¡± He says with a little chuckle. His voice is low like he¡¯s embarrassed and my heart swells.


    ¡°I miss you, too. I shouldn¡¯t be keeping you up...¡±


    I can hear the smile on his lips. ¡°This isn¡¯t the first time you¡¯ve kept me up at night alone in my bed.¡±


    His words make my stomach do flips. ¡°And here I was thinking I¡¯m the only weirdo that lies awake at night thinking of you.¡±


    He chuckles. ¡°Definitely not.¡±


    My eyelids become heavy as I snuggle down lower in my bed. ¡°When will I see you again?¡±


    ¡°Tonight. Tomorrow. I told you, if you need me I¡¯ll be there.¡±


    ¡°I mean after you¡¯ve done everything you need to. If it all goes to plan for you, when will I see you again?¡±


    ¡°In ten days. I¡¯m in Boston for two more days and then I go to Vegas to fight Don.¡±


    ¡°Are you nervous?¡±


    He laughs, loudly and I have to pull the phone away from my ear. ¡°No way. I¡¯m going to break him.¡±


    I half chuckle, half yawn. ¡°Good.¡±


    ¡°Are you going to watch?¡±


    I don¡¯t know... am I? There¡¯s nothing forcing me to watch this time, but I know it¡¯d mean a lot to Seth¡ªand Dad¡ªif I do.


    ¡°Sure, I¡¯ll watch. I¡¯m not going to enjoy it, but I¡¯ll watch.¡±


    I hear him smile again. ¡°You don¡¯t have to play that game anymore, I know you like watching me fight.¡±


    ¡°Watching you storm around a ring half naked and watching you beat someone with your fists are two completely different things. I like the former not the latter.¡±


    His sleepy laugh makes me smile.


    ¡°I should go... I don¡¯t know what to expect tomorrow, but it probably has something to do with funeral plans. I love you.¡±


    ¡°Love you, too and remember if you need me, for anything at all, call me. I¡¯m only two hours away.¡±


    I assure him I¡¯ll call if I need him and we say our goodbyes. As soon as I hang up and get comfortable, I fall asleep, dreading tomorrow.


    Chapter Eighteen


    I slip into the long, black dress Mom bought me for the funeral. It clings tightly to my curves and I feel strange wearing something like this to my own dad¡¯s wedding. It isn¡¯t anything flashy or over the top. It doesn¡¯t expose my cleavage or show too much back, but it¡¯s too clingy, showing the shape of my body and the curve of my backside. Mom wanted Dad to have an elegant, black tie, night time funeral in a beautiful ceremony in the cemetery overlooking the port. Apparently, Mom and Dad used to have picnics up under the small oak tree¡ªwhich is a big oak tree now. How they could stomach eating in a cemetery is beyond me. I straighten my hair and wear down, so I¡¯m able to use it as a curtain if I need to.


    I clip in two pearl earrings and hear a knock at the door. I step out of my room, but Mom rushes down the hallway before me. Who are we expecting on a day like today?


    I hear his voice¡ªdeep and rough. My body isn¡¯t stupid. It stands to attention recognizing the voice immediately. I march down the hallway and see his beautiful frame standing before me in a casual, all black suit. Darryl and Jackson¡¯s faces smile at me from behind Seth. Seth¡¯s eyes rake me, obviously liking my dress and if Seth likes it, then this is definitely not something I should wear to a funeral.


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I say, almost out of breath.


    ¡°Ask your Mom.¡±


    She smiles sweetly at me. ¡°I invited them. I know how important they were to your father. Everyone he loved should be here today.¡±


    My eyes water and I rush to her, squeezing her against me. The fact that she did something so selfless on a day like today means more to me than anything, and today is going to go so much smoother because of it. I turn to Seth, wiping my eyes careful not to smudge my make-up.


    ¡°You¡¯re supposed to be in Vegas.¡±


    He shrugs. ¡°So I¡¯ll go tomorrow.¡±


    I hold my arms out and he comes to me. I wrap my arms around his waist. I haven¡¯t heard his voice since the night we spoke on the phone. Every time he calls, I miss it and every time I call back, he doesn¡¯t answer. It¡¯s exhausting, but he¡¯s here now and my day just got infinitely better.


    Jackson and Darryl hand Mom and me a bouquet of flowers. The blues, reds, yellows, pinks and oranges all mesh together so beautifully in their green wrapper. Mom drops them into vases and positions them around the house.


    Jackson and Darryl sit on the couch, having a conversation in low tones while I sit on the arm of Dad¡¯s armchair, leaning into Seth. His thumb glides over my thigh in tiny circles and I close my eyes absorbing all of his touch. Another knock on the door forces my eyes open.


    ¡°How many more people did you call?¡± I ask Mom as she rushes to the door. When it opens, I can¡¯t believe it.


    ¡°Chase!¡± I squeal, leaping off of the armchair. Mom squeezes him and I wait in line impatiently. It has been too long since I¡¯ve seen my brother, way too long. He looks exactly as I remember, shaven dark hair, big bright green eyes and still so much taller than me.


    He pulls me into him and I almost cry. Seeing him brings back the shock of our father¡¯s death. He¡¯s so happy to see us, but he carries the same sadness in his eyes as Mom and I.


    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you so much.¡± He groans, squeezing me until I¡¯m sure I¡¯ve run out of breath. Darryl, Seth and Jackson rise to their feet as my brother steps in to greet them. Chase meets people all the time, so chatting and being friendly comes easy to him. Darryl and Jackson go back to sitting and talking on the couch, but my brother hangs around to chat to Seth.


    I step closer to them, trying to eavesdrop in on the conversation. When I get within ear reach my brother excuses himself to go get dressed in his room. I open my mouth to ask Seth what he thought of my brother, but Mom¡¯s entrance into the room with a large serving tray of snacks grabbed my attention.


    ¡°Mom, we¡¯re leaving in fifteen minutes. That¡¯s a little excessive.¡±


    She laughs and it¡¯s a genuine laugh that warms my ears. ¡°The boys will take care of it, won¡¯t you?¡±


    Jackson and Darryl sit forward, licking their lips at the sliced fruit, potato chips and dip. Having a full house is making Mom happy which makes me happy. She loves being busy and if it makes today easier for her then the more the merrier.


    ¡°We look upon the final resting place of Richard James.¡±


    Mom leans against my brother¡¯s shoulder, crying, as they lower my dad into the ground. My eyes are puffy and they sting from all of the make-up I¡¯m wearing. I feel so stupid for wearing make-up. Of course I was going to cry. What the hell was I thinking? Seth holds my hand in his and his thumb brushes across the top soothingly. I look up at him. The surrounding fire torches send flickering lights across his face. It¡¯s pinched into a sad expression and I know my dad¡¯s death affects him more than he likes to lead on. Next to Seth and I, Jackson comforts Selena who chose to show up today in a pair of black slacks, a black tee and a beautiful knee length cardigan. She looks elegant, yet casual and I wish Mom bought me something more comfortable. This dress is so thin I can feel the cool breeze hit my body. I might as well be naked. When I look back at the coffin and realize for the one millionth time that my dad¡ªwho I saw a few days ago¡ªis lying in there absent a heartbeat; the tears begin flowing. I lean against Seth¡¯s side as silent tears stream down my face and he slings an arm over my shoulder. Once my father is in he ground, the MC asks us to throw in a handful of dirt and say our goodbyes. One by one we throw in handfuls of dirt and cry and talk to him. I see this kind of stuff on T.V and I always find it awkward when people talk to a coffin or a tombstone. I never really understood the purpose of it, until now.

 Page 42

    ¡°I love you,¡± I cry, sprinkling the soil in on the black box. ¡°I¡¯ll come visit you all the time, I promise.¡±Advertisement


    I rise to my feet to let the next person say goodbye. I seek Mom out, she¡¯s surrounded by loved ones and family members, thankfully they¡¯ve already expressed their condolences to me and I don¡¯t have any more left to listen to. Finalizing Dad¡¯s death sucks. It¡¯s all one huge, exhausting process that offers no privacy...but it does offer closure and that¡¯s better, I suppose.


    I walk off a little bit to catch my breath and decide where to go from here. I can¡¯t go back to my apartment and leave Mom alone. In a few weeks I¡¯m not going to be able to afford my apartment and what about Dad¡¯s gym? There¡¯s still electricity, water and everything else to be paid on it every few months. I can¡¯t afford it. Mom will be forced to look for a job, but no one will hire her. She hasn¡¯t worked in over thirty years¡ªnot exactly an asset. I exhale and sit on the grass, watching the beautiful, night time ceremony in name of my father.


    ¡°Can I sit?¡± Blade¡¯s voice startles me. I didn¡¯t even see him approach me.


    Blade showed up at the beginning of the ceremony. It¡¯s only fair, I guess. He did know my dad for a long time.


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    He sits next to me and the clear smell of vodka filters in through my nostrils. He hands me the bottle he¡¯s holding in his hand and I take it, swallowing a large mouthful. I clench my teeth and make a strange noise at the base of my throat. Blade chuckles. ¡°You never could handle your alcohol.¡±


    I laugh once. ¡°That¡¯s okay, you drank enough for the both of us.¡±


    His dimples fade along with his smile and he averts his gaze. ¡°I really fucked up, didn¡¯t I?¡±


    Yes, you did. This whole thing with Seth started because I wanted to get back at Blade. Now look, we¡¯re in love, more in love than I have ever been. ¡°You tell me.¡±


    ¡°I did.¡± He takes a large swig of his vodka. ¡°I was given so many chances...¡± Blade shakes his head. ¡°You held on for as long as you could, I don¡¯t blame you for giving up.¡±


    I don¡¯t reply. Deep and meaningful conversations with exes seems to me to be a ¡®not okay when in a new relationship¡¯ kind of thing. However, I still appreciate his realization. Maybe he¡¯ll treat the next girl better.


    ¡°Do you love him?¡± There¡¯s bitterness in his tone, but I can¡¯t not answer the question, not when I know the answer.


    ¡°Yes, absolutely.¡±


    ¡°And him? Does he love you back?¡±


    I bit back a smile. I can¡¯t help it. I smile whenever I talk about Seth or the fact that he loves me. ¡°He does.¡±


    He sighs and forces himself to his feet. ¡°Then I¡¯ve definitely lost. Take care of yourself.¡± He strolls away from me.


    Seth passes by Blade on his way over to me and doesn¡¯t spare a glance in his direction. He¡¯s smiling and I¡¯m relieved he isn¡¯t confused about Blade and I sitting all the way over here all alone together.


    ¡°There¡¯s something I need to tell you.¡± He extends his hand to me and I take it as he pulls me to my feet.


    Before he says anything else he shrugs out of his jacket and places it over my shoulders. Always thinking of me.


    ¡°You¡¯re making me anxious, what is it?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve spoken to you mother about it and she¡¯s given me the go ahead, but I want to talk to you about it before I do anything.¡±


    ¡°Okay...¡±


    ¡°How would you feel about me purchasing your father¡¯s gym? I¡¯ll keep it exactly the same in every way.¡±


    I¡¯m stunned. ¡°You want to buy Dad¡¯s gym?¡±


    ¡°I do. I love the gym. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it.¡±


    So many thoughts run through my mind, but I keep falling back to one specific thought. I can¡¯t afford to keep it.


    ¡°You can buy it. It¡¯s yours.¡± Although I¡¯m sad it won¡¯t be in our family anymore. I¡¯m happy that someone like Seth wants it. He wouldn¡¯t do anything to ruin it.


    His smile widens. ¡°There¡¯s one more thing. I want you to manage it.¡±


    I choke. ¡°Me?¡±


    He reaches out and grasps my shoulders. ¡°It¡¯ll be yours. You can control everything that happens to it. I know you love that place...¡±


    Tears well in my eyes. Damn it. How many times does this man have to surprise me? ¡°You¡¯d do that for me?¡±


    Seth steps forward, planting a kiss on my forehead. ¡°I¡¯d do anything for you.¡±


    I throw my arms around his neck pulling his mouth onto mine. If my family wasn¡¯t here and we weren¡¯t currently standing in a cemetery, I¡¯d take him right here, right now. But sadly, there are times and places for everything. He pulls away, leaving me breathless. ¡°I have to be at the airport at three a.m. to catch my flight, but I¡¯ll be back in eight days and you can thank me then.¡± Even in the dim light I can see his eyes flare with pleasure.


    I sigh. ¡°I¡¯ll be counting down the days.¡±


    ¡°Wow, way to make me feel crazy.¡± He says, leaning in and kissing my neck.


    ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°Because I¡¯ll be counting down the seconds.¡± His tongue shoots out of his mouth and glides against my skin. I tilt my head to the side, giving him more flesh to lick. When he gets to my ear lobe he takes it in his mouth, eliciting a moan from me. He chuckles deeply as he straightens his stance. ¡°C¡¯mon. Let¡¯s help your Mom home.¡±


    Mom was a little down when we brought her home, which is to be expected. She went straight to her room, leaving Chase and I with Seth and the boys.


    ¡°Eight days.¡± I clarify with Seth.


    He¡¯s leaning against the car smiling lazily at me.


    ¡°Eight days.¡±


    I hold his hips and reach up to plant a quick kiss on his lips. I don¡¯t want to put on a show in front of my brother. I still don¡¯t know what he thinks of Seth and I¡¯m eager to question him about it when we go inside. I watch Darryl, Jackson and Seth drive away from the house, and when I turn around to talk to Chase he¡¯s no longer directly behind me, but over by the tree. He swings the tire swing back and forth.


    ¡°So you¡¯re dating Seth? Not Blade.¡±


    I sit down on the grass. ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°What happened there?¡±


    My brother and I have always been close, but he¡¯s never around long enough to actually know any details about my life and contacting him is near impossible.


    ¡°I moved on.¡±


    He chuckles, crouching down to stick his ass in the swing. Surprisingly, the old rope supports his weight. ¡°Vague. Since when are you vague with me?¡±


    I exhale and recap the whole situation. Chase scoffs and laughs appropriately. By the time I¡¯m finished, I¡¯ve successfully converted him to team Seth.


    ¡°He seems like a good guy. I mean, sometimes he looks at you like he wants to consume you, but you are beautiful so I¡¯m not going to hold that against him.¡±


    My cheeks grow red hot. Seth doesn¡¯t care much for subtlety. Silence falls between us and he rocks in the swing.


    ¡°What I wouldn¡¯t give to see Dad¡¯s face again.¡± He runs his hands over his forehead. ¡°I always thought that it was okay to be away from here for long periods at a time. I assumed when it¡¯s over, I¡¯d come back and things would be like I never left...¡±


    My chest aches for Chase. I saw Dad not long ago. It¡¯s been too long ago for him.


    ¡°If I knew he¡¯d die now I would have put off my service just to spend a little more time with him. That¡¯s all Mom and Dad want, you know. They want time, they want love¡ªthe kind of love we gave them as kids.¡±


    I¡¯ve never thought of it that way. When Mom and Dad pestered me about moving back in I was always so abrupt, so rude. All they wanted was time together. If I visited regularly, maybe that would have been enough. I can hear Chase sniffle and I know how much he hates to cry in front of people so I stand up and walk back inside, my chest still heavy with his words.


    In my room, I shed my dress, kick off my shoes and slide into bed. I¡¯m all cried out. I couldn¡¯t cry even if I stubbed my toe on a brick. Today, we buried our father. It was horrible, but it brought closure. Everything else, I¡¯ll sort out tomorrow. Mom, Chase and I need to work on repairing our family. It¡¯ll take a while, but I¡¯m certain we¡¯ll pull through.


    Chapter Nineteen


    It¡¯s exactly seven days after I last saw Seth. Mom and Chase went to bed half an hour ago. I pull on the desk, rolling myself as close to the computer screen as I can get. I open the web browser and type ¡®Seth vs. Don Las Vegas¡¯ into the search engine. It immediately takes me to the MMAC website and the live stream to the fight. The building they¡¯re fighting in is huge, easily housing tens of thousands of people. The camera scans over the roaring crowd before showing a highlight reel of other fights from earlier tonight. When it¡¯s finished, it shows a recap of the weigh in between Seth and Don. Sponsors line the back wall as do promo girls, wearing red short shorts and bikinis. I listen carefully to the commentators as they recap the guidelines of the tournament.


    ¡°It¡¯s an eight man fighting format. The last man standing receives one hundred thousand dollars, a contract with the MMAC and the title of Amateur Champion. Championship fight requires a professional weigh in. Neither fighter is able to exceed one hundred and ninety pounds.¡±


    I tune the commentators out and watch the weigh in. Don goes first. He pulls of his shirt, exposing his creepy dragon tattoo, and hands it to his coach. Don steps onto the scale and he weighs one-ninety exactly. Surprising, considering the size of him. Darryl hold Seth¡¯s t-shirt as he steps onto the scale¡ªone-ninety-one. My pulse increases and I begin chewing my nails. What does it mean? Does it mean he¡¯s disqualified? I see Don smirk and I want smack him through the screen.


    Jackson hands Darryl a towel and the CEO of the MMAC helps Darryl cover Seth¡¯s front as he slides his shorts off. Seth¡¯s eyes lock onto the camera and his lips curl into a cocky smile. Heat tears through my body because I know it¡¯s for me. The towel rides a little low and I can see the ¡®v¡¯ shape of Seth¡¯s oblique¡¯s. I¡¯m smiling as another hot flush rolls through me and I squeeze my legs together. I notice the eyes of the girls behind him linger on his backside and they can¡¯t keep the smiles off their faces either. I scowl at the screen, fighting the urge to growl ¡®my precious¡¯.


    He steps back onto the scale and it doesn¡¯t drop at all. I hear the commentators say Seth has one hour to cut one pound. Is that even possible? He steps back into his shorts and the towel is dropped. The stream flicks to Seth¡¯s second weigh in. The towel comes out and his shorts drop. When he steps back onto the scale, he¡¯s the perfect weight for the fight. Seth and Don stand close to each other, fists up as people take the pictures. When I saw this in the past, Dad always told me it¡¯s just fun and they don¡¯t actually hate each other, but I¡¯m watching Don and Seth and I see the hate. I feel it.


    The picture takes us back to the empty ring and I hear Don¡¯s intro song. It¡¯s a song I¡¯ve never heard before and I¡¯m ninety percent sure it¡¯s in German. The cameras¡¯ follow him from his runway, all the way to the ring. There¡¯s a gleam of cockiness in his eyes. He¡¯s exactly where he wants to be. God knows how long he¡¯s wanted to fight Seth without the restrictions and now he can. Don enters the ring and stands in his corner. He offers no reaction to the crowd and they love it. The commentators talk about Don¡¯s boxing background and his eight to zero fight stats, claiming he¡¯s undefeated. I hate every second the camera lingers on his angry face.


    My mood instantly brightens when I hear Seth¡¯s intro song. A little box comes up on the side of the screen telling me the song is ¡®We own it¡¯ by Wiz Khalifa¡¯. I make a mental note purchase it later. It¡¯s easily my favorite song now. The camera follows Seth closely, even showing snippets of Darryl and Jackson behind him. Their faces are hard¡ªdetermined.


    Once in the ring, Seth¡¯s music is cut off and I realize I¡¯ve been holding my breath. As the announcer talks, Seth¡¯s hands clench into fists. They unclench and then clench again. He bounces back and forth on the balls of his feet a few times before tilting his head to the ceiling¡ªeyes closed. His chest falls as he blows out a long, slow breath. The referee calls both the boys to the middle of the ring. He demands a good, clean fight and sends them back to their corner. With a clap of his hands, the fight begins.


    Seth lets Don come at him first, no doubt trying to gauge his tempo, favored hand, and which foot he likes to put forward first. Don swings at Seth, but he dodges it by leaning back quickly. As Don pulls his arm back, Seth shoots forward smacking him with an open palm across his left temple. Don shakes his head and the commentators¡¯ love that Seth is playing with his competitor. One of the commentators even calls him ¡®suicidal; for trying to piss off Don Russell. I can see Don¡¯s jaw working furiously as he relentlessly throws punches at Seth. Seth left hand is up, blocking whatever blows Don is throwing, while his right fist jabs outwards, punching him in the stomach. Don swings his leg around to kick Seth¡¯s legs out from under him, but Seth blocks the leg with his own, sending a killer hook straight to Don¡¯s jaw. It connects and snaps Don¡¯s face to the side. I flinch at the power in his punch and I almost leap out of my seat, unable to contain my excitement. Don stumbles backward, dazed and Seth follows the punch with a foot into his ribs. Don recovers quickly and launches at Seth, landing a good, strong blow to the side of his head. My hands fly up to cover my mouth as Don wraps his arms around Seth¡¯s chest and shoulders, driving him backwards and into the cage. Don traps Seth and let¡¯s his fists fly. Repeatedly, they smack Seth in the head again and again. Awful sounds coat me with thick goosebumps.

 Page 43

    ¡°No!¡± I rasp, trying to keep my voice down so I don¡¯t wake Mom. Each time Don¡¯s fists connect I cringe. I can hear the chilling sound of bone cracking against flesh, and the hairs on my head tingle in fear. I see Jackson below Seth, yelling at him and Seth stomps the balls of his feet down onto Don¡¯s foot, forcing him to lose footing. Seth shoves Don back and goes low, wrapping his arms around Don¡¯s legs and taking him down. He wastes no time in diving on Don. His thick thigh muscles straddled Don¡¯s mid section and he starts raining blows to his head and face. Don¡¯s arms come up to shield his face from the pounding, so Seth leans back to slam into Don¡¯s ribs. I can see sweat run down Seth¡¯s back and his chest heaving heavily. Don flicks his hips, throwing Seth off of him just as the commentators swore the referee was going to end the fight. As Don attempts to roll away, Seth catches his arm and wrap his legs around Don, straightening out his arm.Advertisement


    ¡°Oh no!¡± A commentator shouts, startling me. ¡°Seth has Don in an arm bar.¡± Seth pulls down hard and Don¡¯s face strains. He doesn¡¯t want to give up. The referee gets in Don¡¯s face, talking to him. Every few minutes Don shakes his head, refusing to tap out. Seth adjusts his position and pulls even harder. Don can¡¯t keep his eyes open. He¡¯s in too much pain and suddenly I feel sorry for him. There¡¯s a sardonic smile on Seth¡¯s face, he knows he¡¯s got it. All he has to do is apply a little more pressure and Don¡¯s arm will snap, but he wants Don to submit to him. He wants Don to tap out and be humiliated. I close my eyes as the camera zooms in on the awkward shape of Don¡¯s arm. The crowd is going nuts, begging for Seth to snap it. As I open my eyes, I witness Don¡¯s palm slap the floor of the ring and I leap out of my chair. Seth did it! He beat Don. Dancing around my living room after a fight is not something I¡¯ll ever admit to doing, but I do it. I do it out of happiness, out of pride, hell, I even do it out of arousal because I can¡¯t possibly sit down without squirming. New waves of screams tear from the crowd, forcing my attention back to the screen. The teams are in the ring, separating the two fighters. They¡¯re yelling at each other, dying to go another round with each other. Don is pissed, his face hot red. Seth smiles at Don and it pisses him off even more. Security flies into the ring to help Don¡¯s team suppress him. I can¡¯t hear anything over the roar of the crowd or the annoying voices of the commentators and I nervously chew on my nails. Seth watches with his hands on his hips as they drag Don from the ring. When his gone, the referee raises Seth¡¯s hand and the crowd loses their minds. They scream, shout, chant, clap their hands and stomp their feet. Energy flows through me as the CEO of the MMAC steps into the ring. The announcer hands him a microphone and he addresses the crowd. My eyes are on Seth, not paying attention to a single word the CEO is saying. Seth is smiling modestly so I know it has something to do with his impressive skills. The CEO hands Seth a framed contract and they take photos. The commentators go over highlights of the fight and I close the browser and shut off the monitor with a huge smile on my face.


    Seth achieved his dream. He went for it and he succeeded. It leaves me thinking about my dream, the dream of becoming a romance author. The last few months have definitely sidetracked me from what I want to do. At least now I have enough material to write that happy ever after I¡¯ve been stuck on. Maybe managing the gym will give me time to write on the side? If not, I¡¯ll have to make time. You can¡¯t reach your dream unless you try, right?


    I sit by my dad¡¯s fresh grave, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. The sun is setting over the port and its orange-red hue coats everything in a pretty pink light. I¡¯ve been sitting here for hours, dreading the thought of going back home. Chase left this morning to go back to Pakistan. He promised to get more Skype time, which made his departure more bearable and Mom isn¡¯t going to be home either. She decided to spend a little alone time in a hideaway cabin for two nights. Apparently, she and Dad stayed there all the time. I don¡¯t know how I¡¯m going to handle being in the house by myself. I haven¡¯t been truly alone with my thoughts yet. There was always someone lingering around the place, but for the next two days I¡¯m on my own.


    I climb to my feet and turn from Dad¡¯s tombstone. I want to avoid being in the cemetery alone at night so I walk the mile to my car and drive away. When I get home, there are no cars in the driveway and I pull in, parking right in front of the garage. I inhale deeply, mentally preparing myself and climb out of the car. I walk over to the small, white gate and my fingers linger on the latch. I can¡¯t stay here by myself. Not tonight. The gate squeaks as I let it go and turn back to my car. I¡¯ll stay at my apartment.


    ¡°You¡¯re not going to leave me here by myself, are you?¡±


    Seth¡¯s voice startles me, and I whirl back to face the house. A movement over by the tree catches my eye and there he is, leaning against the oak tree in the front yard. His hair is in wilder disarray than normal, giving him a devastating sex appeal as it juts out roughly above his forehead. His arms are folded across his chest, and the short sleeves of his black shirt cling tightly to him, accentuating the strong, muscled ridges of his bare forearms. He looks positively delicious and nipples harden against my lace bra as my gaze settles on his mouth. His full lips are curved into a little cocky smile, like he knows I¡¯m craving him. I glance over my shoulders. I can¡¯t see his car anywhere.


    ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°I parked around the corner.¡±


    Forgetting the latch, I jump the gate and run to him. He opens his arms and I fit right in, wrapping my legs around his waist and smashing my lips against his. Seth squeezes me against him with devastating pressure, but I don¡¯t dare complain. I don¡¯t want him to let go, ever. I pull my lips away, panting breathlessly. ¡°I had no idea you were going to be back today.¡±


    ¡°It was painful purposefully avoiding your calls, but I wanted to surprise you.¡±


    I laugh. ¡°Mission accomplished.¡±


    I¡¯m happy¡ªgenuinely happy. If anyone can wash away my anguish and doubts, it¡¯s Seth. It¡¯s always Seth. I slide off of him and tug on his hand. He follows me onto the porch and I pull the key from the back pocket of my jeans. I unlock the door and pull him inside. I flick on the living room lights and lock the door behind him.


    ¡°Is your Mom¡ª¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not home.¡± I cut in rather eagerly. I pull him up the hallway and into my old room. I switch on the light and Seth almost cringes.


    ¡°It¡¯s so pink.¡±


    ¡°I know. I don¡¯t know what the hell I was thinking.¡±


    Seth grips my hips in a firm and unbreakable grasp, catching me off guard. A thrill shoots down my spine at his touch. A second later, he¡¯s pushing me backward onto the bed. I land on my elbows, sliding myself upwards as he climbs on top of me. His body pins mine tightly against the bed. I moan as his full lips crash to mine and his tongue flicks out to glide against my bottom lip. His fingers move steadily underneath my shirt, grazing the delicate skin of my sides. Strangely, his finger glides over a specific spot on my ribs and I flinch. Pulling away from his mouth I giggle and he smiles down at me.


    ¡°Ticklish?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely not.¡±


    He strokes the spot with his finger again and I twist, biting my lip. I manage to stem the flow of laughter long enough for him to give up and plant a kiss on my nose. ¡°I missed you like crazy, you know.¡±


    I scoff, playfully. ¡°Yeah right, I saw all of those pretty promo girls. I bet you had the time of your life.¡±


    He rests his chin on my chest and looks up at me through thick dark lashes.


    ¡°It was hell, actually. Do you wanna know how many girls showed up at my hotel room practically naked?¡±


    I shake my head. Some people have no shame and it makes me angry.


    ¡°Would you care if I told you I turned every single one of them away?¡± I look into his eyes and the golden swirls in his irises flare. ¡°I was a very good boy¡ªnot tempted by anything for one second.¡±


    He¡¯s smiling widely, like he¡¯s super proud of himself. I¡¯m proud of him. He has come a long way from the person he used to be.


    ¡°Well, there was a lack of naked men throwing themselves at me in your absence unfortunately so I¡¯ve got nothing to help boost your confidence¡ªnot that you need anyone to boost that already insanely high ego of yours.¡±


    He laughs the laugh that I love so much and it forces me to join him. ¡°You¡¯re hilarious. I must be rubbing off on you.¡±


    The word ¡®rubbing¡¯ ignites something deep down in my stomach and I cup his face in my hands, drawing his mouth toward mine. ¡°Speaking of rubbing...¡± I chuckle against his lips.


    ¡°I¡¯m one step ahead of you.¡± He replies, undoing my jeans button easily. My hips flex against him as his finger slide under my jeans and the fabric of my underwear. I laugh once before his tongue slips into my mouth and I dissolve into him. His teeth catch my bottom lip, roughly and I gasp.


    ¡°I love you, baby.¡± He whispers.


    I smile. ¡°I love you, too.¡±


    EPILOGUE


    SETH.


    I¡¯ve been slamming my fists into this damn bag for the last hour, waiting for Olivia to finish cleaning the gym. There¡¯s no one left, the doors are locked and the blinds drawn, but she insists on having everything in top shape for when it opens in the morning. I can¡¯t say I don¡¯t enjoy watching her walking around the place with a determined little pout on her sexy pink lips because I do. She does a round, picking up a few towels here and there. I¡¯m reminded of the day that I dropped my towel and demanded that she pick it up. It was such a dick move, but I was so pissed off with my mother and believing she¡¯d go to the alcoholics program. I was let down, again.


    Purchasing the gym was a good move on my part. I spend most of my time in here and it gives me a chance to see Olivia all day and although I can¡¯t touch her, she¡¯s always nice to look at. She enters the boxing section of the gym and I call out to her. I let the towel I¡¯m holding in my hand fall from my fingers and her gorgeous, green eyes follow it all the way to the floor.


    ¡°You forgot one.¡± I say, unable to hold back my smile.


    She flicks her long, chocolate ponytail over her shoulder and stalks toward me with a sexy little smirk, willing to play along with my game. Her tongue shoots out to moisten her delicious bottom lip and I fight the urge to do it myself. She presses her index finger firmly against my sweaty chest.


    ¡°Pick up your own damn towel.¡± She states, making my cock twitch.


    My gaze drops to her chest. I see her nipples pressing hard against her pink tank top. Her sports bra fails to hide her obvious arousal. I grasp her hip, pulling her closer to me and she happily obliges. I always think about what would¡¯ve happened between us if that blonde woman hadn¡¯t showed up. Would she have let me take her? I like to think so.


    In the beginning, I hated Portland, but the moment I saw Olivia I knew she was going to change me. Seeing her over and over drove me insane and she quickly became an obsession. Forcing myself to keep my hands off her when she was so willing to give herself to me was, hands down, one of the most difficult things I¡¯ve ever done, but it payed off. She is good and I¡¯m... well, I¡¯m a work in progress. She smiles up at me through dark lashes and I run my thumb along her jaw. I want to run my tongue along it and taste her. I want to lay her out on the mat beneath me and make her sigh and scream my name¡ªa sound I¡¯ll never get tired of.


    ¡°What are you thinking?¡± She asks me, searching my eyes.


    If I press harder against her, she¡¯ll be able to feel me and put two and two together. Instead, I smile. ¡°It isn¡¯t very PG, I¡¯ll tell you that.¡±


    Olivia drags her teeth over her bottom lip and the palm of her hand flattens against my chest. ¡°Then we should shower and get out of here¡±


    My skin under her hand tingles when she pulls away and I follow behind her to the shower room. Keeping my eyes ahead of me and not on her tight-clad ass proves to be difficult, until we hit the shower room. So many times I¡¯ve been alone with her in here and not once have I taken her hard against the concrete wall¡ªeven though I¡¯ve wanted to, desperately.


    Normally, Olivia showers in a stall, apparently she¡¯s shy. God knows why, she has the most perfect body, from her well-shaped calves to her big, perky breasts with the big, light pink nipples¡ªon second thought, maybe it¡¯s good she showers behind closed doors. I¡¯d hate for anyone else¡¯s eyes to see her like I do.


    When she turns on the shower, steam builds quickly. She kicks off her sneakers and slowly pulls down her tights. I stand still, watching as she reveals her milky skin to me piece by piece and I keep watching until she¡¯s completely naked and standing under the flow of the water. The water rolls down her face and over her plump lips. It travels over the peaks of her breasts and down her flat stomach. I shake my head a little. I can¡¯t help, but to get wrapped up in the small details whenever I¡¯m around her... she just has that effect on me.


    She affects me and I love it. I love her. When someone affects you so much that you can¡¯t sleep at night without them, you can¡¯t think straight whenever they¡¯re in the room and you¡¯d risk it all for them, you go for it. You take no risks. Olivia knows I love her. She knows I¡¯d risk my entire future for her, but she doesn¡¯t know about my plans to make her my wife.


    Olivia Marc.


    It has a nice ring to it? Doesn¡¯t it?