《Please, Divorce Me》 Prologue Prologue I¡¯ve never seen a man cry so bitterly in my life. The man kneeled with his back to the sun and placed his hand on his chest, clenching his teeth. He choked on his tears as if he didn¡¯t care about the dignity of an aristocrat. He was sadder than anyone else to the extent that someone could easily misunderstand him as an immediate family member. Maybe from someone else¡¯s perspective, it could be too much for a friend¡¯s funeral, but there was a justification for his appearance. It was because the friend who lost his life was trying to protect himself in the war. A distorted face, dishevelled clothes, and dazzling dark hair in the sunlight. As soon as tears fell from his eyes and soaked the meadow, I realized. His eyes contain something (tears) that should not be there. Oh, I¡¯ll be yielding to that man for the rest of my life. It made me guess that the emotions I felt in my life for the first time were not instantaneous, but for eternity. Even if that person¡¯s heart is directed towards others. It is cruel to oneself to hope for and endure an unrequited love. Foolishly, I was so cruel to myself. Even caring for myself was the next best thing, thinking of him was the best. I lived in the hope that his heart would turn to me, waiting and longing for his love, not realizing how useless the love I begged for was. If you think about it, it was really stupid. Did I have to continue this love until I lost myself? It was a lot of responsibility for the courage that came from illusion and ignorance. Kyle Herace. The man I married and the war hero. A young man who brought a family of nothing but titles into the empire¡¯s big name. I haven¡¯t forgotten that day, two years ago, when I first saw Kyle. Still. Like a visual spectacle. ¡°Aelle.¡± 1 At Kyle¡¯s gentle call, I was finally out of the reverie. I didn¡¯t know what happened, but it seemed like I was crying all of a sudden. I saw Kyle¡¯s hand was outstretched where I had inadvertently turned my eyes, so I wiped the tears off the back of my hands. If I didn¡¯t do that, I thought his hand would reach me. As I turned my face from Kyle¡¯s hand, he was at a loss and moved his hand away. How funny. I was deceived by your fickle kindness and harboured vain hopes. ¡°Your Grace.¡± Kyle opened his eyes wide and was astonished when the distancing title came out of my mouth. Kyle¡¯s eyes quivered for a moment, and he clenched his fist and moved his head down. The emotion that crossed his grey eyes was ironically a feeling of guilt. Why? Now that I¡¯m finally able to realize my plight and live a new life. I countered his pretentious eyes with indifferent ones. ¡°Aelle, that day¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t Explain.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not curious.¡± Kyle, who rarely lost his composure, looked broken. I see that you too can make such a face because of me. I didn¡¯t have any lingering feelings for him, but I felt a little satisfied. On the other hand, his eyes were filled with sadness, which almost made me laugh out loud. No matter what, what could be so sad about letting go now? I glared at him for his hypocritical attitude. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, your grace.¡± ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°The reason I cry is not because of you, nor because of the child.¡± ¡°I¡¯m crying because I feel sorry for what I¡¯ve been doing for the last few years.¡± So. ¡®Please marry me, Your Grace.¡¯ ¡°Please divorce me, Your Grace.¡± I don¡¯t have any more regrets. Originally the name is supposed to be Ael according to NU, but using Aelle felt better} CH 1 ¡°Please marry me, Your Grace.¡± ¡°Marriage?¡± Kyle raised his eyebrow and expressed his query. I held both of my hands together, hoping that the quivering hands would calm down. I thought I just had to say the words that I had put together, but as I¡¯m standing in front of him, my voice trembled from the tension, and I couldn¡¯t even speak properly. I lowered my line of sight to avoid Kyle¡¯s eyes. ¡°Yes, marry me, your grace.¡± Kyle¡¯s sharp eyes scoured me. Perhaps it was to find my intentions of proposing a marriage. How much time passed by, before he took his eyes off me as if he didn¡¯t understand my intentions. No, precisely speaking it was the eyes that lost interest. That¡¯s plausible. There must be countless families sending him proposals. The Duke of Herace, In the war that ended not long ago, he slashed the enemy¡¯s neck, leading years of war to victory and offered the head of the enemy general to the emperor. He gained enormous wealth and power for his work, so it was natural that attention was followed. On top of that, He had a beautiful appearance, so he was a figure coveted by everyone. Dark hair like ink and grey eyes like dawn clouds. Only in light did his eyes hold color, shining brightly as a colorful jewel. Kyle turned his face to me with a shallow breath. Seeing his face which looked so cold and insensitive, It won¡¯t be an exaggeration to say that he looked as if his enemy was in front of him. As Kyle lowered his eyelids, a dark shade was cast on his eyes by his eyelashes. Kyle¡¯s eyes, with their dark light, gradually sank and became murky. Seeing that he slightly frowned, he seemed to feel uncomfortable and repulsed by the situation. Yes, his feelings about my absurdity were understandable. A viscount Young-ae*1 suddenly came to visit him. Aelle Karena from the family of Viscount ¡®Karena¡¯ whose financial condition is unstable and whose name can¡¯t even be found in the political world. She was the daughter of Viscount Karena, who is addicted to gambling and drinking, and had an older brother, who cut off ties with the family. In short, her father was no less than a small local aristocrat. I bet he¡¯s never even heard my name. I only met him today because, when I heard that the owner of a flower shop I often visit was going to deliver flowers to the Herace family, I came to deliver them instead. The florist¡¯s owner said the duke was picky about checking the flowers himself, but for me, it was the only chance to meet with him. It¡¯s absurd that the woman who came to deliver the flowers revealed her identity and asked for such a thing. Although it was rude, he listened to me with curious eyes. Of course, it wasn¡¯t long before his interest was cut off, just like a puppet¡¯s string. Kyle rose calmly from his seat as if he had not an ounce of regret. Meanwhile, he had a bored look on his face. ¡°Lady Aelle Karena. I have no intention of marrying anyone.¡± He put a stop as if he was unwilling to have any more conversations. ¡°Ever.¡± His eyes were as indifferent as while seeing a bug. I rubbed the damp sweat on my palm against my clothes. As Kyle¡¯s gaze wandered away from me and his steps had just reached the parlor door, I brought up the words that I had already thought of. ¡°Because you love Countess Hari Harden, the wife of the deceased ¡®Louis Harden¡¯. His steps stopped sharply. I had no idea how long the silence would stay. Fear crept upon me, but I maintained my posture keeping my waist upright. The road I have to go is longer than this. This is the only way for me to be by his side. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Kyle turned around slowly and tilted his head to the side. As if to block my impudent behaviour, He twisted his lips. Overwhelmed by his ferocious energy, it was hard to breathe. ¡°Your level of chattering is too much.¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°Speak Clearly.¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°I have nothing to lose, so there¡¯s nothing I¡¯m afraid of.¡± ¡°No, your grace has something to lose and be afraid of.¡± He wrinkled his brows and exuded displeasure. It is indeed unpleasant for a young girl from an unknown family to dare to pretend to know his feelings. That¡¯s an expected response. I clasped my hands together. ¡°You¡¯re afraid that the Countess will notice your heart and turn away from your grace.¡± Kyle narrowed his eyes and clenched his teeth. It felt as if I opened my mouth even just a little more right now, he would strike my neck ¡°Why are you sure I love her?¡± Because I saw you. In my eyes, which saw you without missing a moment. Your wet eyes as you stared at her and your hands that could not reach her shoulders. Because when you were only looking at her, I was looking only at you. Above all, she was a long-time friend of Louis and Kyle. The fact was quite famous that the first engagement story to come out was of her and Duke Herace. So, not just me but also others could infer and doubt his heart. ¡°It is said that true love can¡¯t be hidden.¡± ¡°You¡¯re talking pretty romantic words for someone asking for a deal.¡± Kyle returned to his seat and sat across from me. That meant it was worth listening to. ¡°If the relationship between Your Grace and the Countess were to be questioned, Who would be the most troubled?¡± No matter how much time he has spent on the battlefield, even if he is insensitive to society, he will know. What kind of treatment will the noble, rumored to be in an illicit relationship with an unmarried duke, receive in the future? Among the nobles who trusted words of mouth, it was rumored that there was an obvious illicit relationship even before the marriage. To her, who has refused to remarry and wants to live alone, the future will be lonely and difficult. Kyle roughly ruffled his hair, his grey eyes radiating coldness. CH 2 ¡°That¡¯s not a reason for why I should marry you. If I have to marry, It won¡¯t matter who my partner is.¡± ¡°But will any other person do the same?¡± Caught off-guard, Kyle shut his mouth. Certainly, Kyle wouldn¡¯t mind who his partner is but the person who will be the Duchess would. Is there anything more miserable and treacherous than having the person you marry to have someone else in his heart? And if the wife knew it was Countess Harden, it could become dangerous for her(Countess) as well. I took a deep breath and relaxed my stiff face. ¡°Your Grace, I have nowhere to go.¡± Kyle¡¯s cold eyes scanned me from foot to head. He chuckled at me with murky eyes. It was a face for the eyes to appreciate. ¡°I don¡¯t have a home anymore.¡± ¡°What does that mean?¡± ¡°I lost touch with my brother, and my father is addicted to gambling. There¡¯s nothing left in the family. Soon, As long as someone gives him money, he would even sell me.¡± ¡°Just get to the point.¡± I take a long breath. ¡°Be my place to run to. And I¡¯ll help Your Grace to hide his feelings.¡± I¡¯ll be your shade. As I said my words, his misty, turbid eyes glanced up and down. Soon after, he twisted his lips in a sarcastic smile. ¡°Nevertheless¡­I¡¯ll do it¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°I thought you loved me.¡± Though his tone was sarcastic, his words were true. I didn¡¯t get caught, I slowly raised my eyes to look at him. ¡°You must be under a lot of pressure since you¡¯re at an age when you should be getting married.¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± rumoursCountess chose to stay with the Harden family rather than remarry. I won¡¯t dwell on it and just stay silent.¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a bad deal.¡± My suggestion means that it¡¯s okay not to do all your Obligations and duties if you can¡¯t. He opened his mouth wearily as if he had finished thinking. ¡°The only purpose is a haven?¡± At Kyle¡¯s question, I blinked and panicked. Is the reason that I need shelter and a shield not enough as to why I would want to marry Kyle. Biting her lips, I escaped the crisis by giving the first reason I could think of. ¡°No, there¡¯s one more thing. My father, most likely, will not let me, the head of the family, rest. If you give me financial support, he would probably let me go easily.¡± Thank god. Rather than asking for nothing, making material demands will relinquish his doubts. Kyle covered his mouth with his hand and looked at me carefully. Under his sharp gaze, my fingertips felt numb. His eyes scanned me as if trying to figure out what kind of person I was. After a long time, Kyle gave a cold look and burst into laughter with a gap in his beautiful hands. He seemed to have found the situation hilarious. ¡°I was expecting a pretty interesting story, but it is clich¨¦¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know where you heard those false rumours, but you better be careful.¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°If I hear about a scandal, I¡¯ll think you¡¯re the source.¡± In the end, this is how it ends. I knew it wouldn¡¯t work. I chewed my lips and pressed my palm with my other hand. It was an act of self-blame. Kyle stared at me indifferently and raised his eyebrows in an attractive manner. He looked at me with a lack of interest while talking to me. ¡°Why, that¡¯s right, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°If it¡¯s interesting enough, people would even listen to dogs barking.¡± Kyle¡¯s monotonous voice seemed to pierce my chest with a dagger. I lowered my gaze and stared at his feet. Maybe this was the last time I could see Kyle, but I had no confidence to endure his grim face. ¡°That¡¯s enough, Go back¡± I gathered all my remaining courage and looked him in the eyes. As Kyle continued to look at me with ennui*I kept my eyes wide open to stop myself from crying. My father was always under the influence of alcohol. It¡¯s always been that way for as long as I can remember. Sometimes, he would hit my brother, but not me. The reason being that I had brown hair and eyes that resembled my mother. When my father went out, he always returned drunk¡ªwith ragged clothes, caved in cheeks, and hollowed eyes. It was no longer possible to distinguish whether he was a commoner or a nobleman by his appearance alone. We managed to pay off Father¡¯s debts by selling the estate and mansions owned by the family. After all of the employees were dismissed, all of the housework fell on me. From then on, there was nothing I didn¡¯t do for a living, and the job I received the most for was sewing. With the introduction of Lady Zeveron, I became acquainted with the Madame of a famous boutique in the capital. She would send me the fabric, and I would work by sewing jewellery and buttons on it; I didn¡¯t have to talk to anyone or waste my emotions, so it was a good fit for me. My skills were good, so I was able to get a lot of work through Madame¡¯s word of mouth. It was because of this that I was able to attend the funeral. The first clothes I worked on were the funeral clothes of a baroness, a vassal of the Count Harden family. When I was anxious that something might go wrong with the clothes I made. The boutique owner told the baroness, who then suggested we attend the funeral together since I was also a noblewoman. Initially, I felt uneasy about attending, but the baroness assured me and mentioned that it was a day for all people of the Empire to mourn for the knights who died in the war. Looking back, I shouldn¡¯t have gone there. For the first time in my life, I had yearned for something so much. My brother always wondered why I was never greedy. He used to say he¡¯d never met a child like me who didn¡¯t desire anything in life. He told me he pitied me because he thought it was because I grew up too early. I felt I could answer that now. ¡®No, brother. It¡¯s not that I¡¯m not greedy, but because I didn¡¯t find what I wanted enough to be greedy.¡¯ And I wanted to tell him. For the first time, I finally had something I wanted. No, not something. Someone. A man. ¡°Ah!¡± I came to my senses when I accidentally pricked my finger while sewing absentmindedly. The sharp needle¡¯s tip scratched my knuckles. When I saw the blood pooling through the torn skin, I naturally took it to my mouth. I had gotten used to sewing and wounds were rare, but recently, mistakes were frequent. Maybe after that day, I had been out of my mind. I removed my hand from my mouth and looked down at the sewing on my thigh despondently. ¡°I knew, beforehand, it wouldn¡¯t work.¡± Even though I knew it, I gathered all the courage I had. It was my first and last chance. Over the past year, the days of cherishing Kyle had continued. I yearned for him, unable to sew, eat or sleep. Every night something hot rose in my heart. It was more painful because there was no way to approach someone who didn¡¯t even know my name, let alone my face. Every time I looked in the mirror, I felt that our paths would never cross again. Every time I realized the difference in our status and that I couldn¡¯t dare to reach him. I resented my situation. The only thing I could do was help the florist pick the freshest flowers and carefully package them when the florist sent them to the Duke of Herace. Even though I knew that they were for the Countess of Harden. How can I get to him? Even when I tried to think, I couldn¡¯t get an answer. I thought I would die from all these thoughts. And then, one day, ¡®The delivery man can¡¯t come, I think I¡¯ll have to go myself.¡¯ At the florist¡¯s words, my heart jumped out. Even before thinking words came out of my mouth. ¡°I-I can go!¡± As I was preparing the flowers I was going to deliver to the Duke, I thought to myself that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If I missed this opportunity, I might never see him again. I thought I should do just about anything I can. Even if that makes him despise me and turn a blind eye to me. The reason I asked him for the signing of a contract without revealing my feelings was simple. It was because it was clear that if I approached Kyle with such emotions, He would have lost interest and driven me away. He was postponing his marriage even though his beloved woman was in the spotlight. There were rumours that he did not interact with any family, causing people to question him, sometimes even saying that he liked men. When he appeared in public at the Emperor¡¯s call, he always faced straight ahead with an unsmiling face. . He didn¡¯t even take a look at the ladies who were staring at him in awe. That alone was enough to tell me how unwavering his heart was. So I proposed a contract marriage. I thought it wouldn¡¯t matter as long as I could stay by Kyle¡¯s side. No, I wasn¡¯t that pure if I dug inside myself. I had a shallow hope that as time passed and Kyle¡¯s unwavering heart weakened and wore out, he would look at me, who had always been by his side. ¡°Even that was of no use now.¡± I spat out in an insipid voice and turned my gaze to stare at the pile of work on my desk. I have no time to indulge in self-pity or contemplation over this. CH 3 ¡°Your Grace, this is regarding the investigation into Aelle Karena.¡± Kyle relaxed his gaze at the aide¡¯s voice. Kyle glanced at the goldish-brown envelope on the other side of the desk. ¡°I¡¯ll retreat.¡± The aide, astutely aware of Kyle¡¯s intention, left the office after bowing. At that moment, Kyle¡¯s grey eyes stared at the papers. Kyle picked up the envelope and cast a nonchalant look. He looked as if he was wondering if he¡¯d open it. He cut the envelope with a letter opener and took out the items inside, several sheets of paper coming out. It was a sketch of Aelle¡¯s back along the path she was moving. ¡°Aelle Karena.¡± The now quite a familiar name came out of his mouth effortlessly. Aelle Karena, born as the second daughter of the Viscount Karena family, supports her gambling and drunken father. The only places she visits are her home, the boutique, a flower shop, and she has a close relationship with Lady Zeveron. Her mother died trying to save her brother from drowning in a lake, but her brother, Heinbel Karena, abandoned the then 13-year-old Aelle Karena and ran away. As the grey eyes reached the end of the document, they fell without regret. Kyle put the papers down and leaned his back against his chair. He tapped the end of the paper intermittently with his index finger. Kyle¡¯s reaction to Aelle¡¯s conversation was a simple whim. It was because of Hari, who praised the flowers sent to the Harden family some time ago. He wondered about the one who sorted and packed those flowers. He didn¡¯t expect her to make such an unreal suggestion ¡®Did someone order her to do it?¡¯ No, that¡¯s not it. Kyle interlocked his fingers and placed them on his lap. Unlike her aloof and calm face, he remembered her nervous-looking eyes and her small trembling hands. It was such a simple task but, She didn¡¯t look like a person who could act on someone¡¯s orders. Above all, the family members and vassals who had turned their backs on him saying they could not accept Kyle as a member of the noble family were busy falling down under the feet of the Herace family. Not long ago, gold was found in an abandoned mine, so even the business community kept quiet and kept a low profile. So there was no purpose in suspecting Aelle¡¯s behaviour as someone¡¯s order. ¡°I lost touch with my brother, and my father is addicted to gambling. There¡¯s nothing left in the family. Soon, As long as someone gives him money, he would even sell me.¡± ¡°The purpose is clear.¡± Kyle dropped the papers back on the desk and tilted his head. When he thought of the woman with a gloomy atmosphere and sad eyes, the gap between his eyes narrowed automatically. ¡®Because you love the Countess Hari Harden, the wife of the deceased Count Louis Harden?¡¯ Kyle moved his grey eyes slowly through Aelle¡¯s investigation results. But he couldn¡¯t be relieved. She was a woman who had a clear grasp of her hands and how to use them. That¡¯s why she found him herself and made that suggestion. Kyle stared at the papers. If she opens her mouth to Hari, ¡°Aelle Karena.¡± Kyle¡¯s awfully low voice leaked bleakly. Kyle nervously furrowed his eyebrow and stared at the sketch of Aelle¡¯s back. * * * Rattle -. When I opened the back door of the boutique, I was welcomed by the sound of the bell, bustling employees, the rubble and pin cushions. ¡°Aelle!¡± As I looked up searching for the lively call for me, Madame, who was looking at the costumes in the second-floor studio, leaned on the railing with a smile. Her eyes turned to the basket I held in my arms. ¡°Aelle, how¡¯s this new look?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you look great? As expected of Madame.¡± I replied while handing over the completed work to the approaching employee. As he took the basket, I greeted him with a slight nod. ¡°Good work.¡± He waved and wobbled up the stairs. The Madame raised her feathered fan and pursed her lips in dismay. ¡°Really, Aelle has no soul, just soulless.¡± ¡°You¡¯re so pretty. It looks great.¡± Madame frowned and wrinkled her nose, expressing her disappointment, and then folded the fan with a sound. ¡°By the way, are you really going to refuse my offer?¡± ¡°Offer?¡± Madame narrowed her eyes and tapped her fan on her palm until it started making a sound. I had a swollen head, I had already forgotten about it. ¡°About working formally in our boutique.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± ¡°Did you forget?¡± I smiled as if I were sorry, but Madame¡¯s hard face did not relax. I gave a dry laugh evasively. ¡°I¡¯ll think about it a little more.¡± However, being tied to Madame¡¯s boutique, it would be difficult to get work in another boutique. When I thought about my father, I knew I couldn¡¯t stay in place for long. Madame, unaware of this thought, nodded her head, symbolizing that she understood. ¡°Madame! A madam (noble¡¯s wife) is here!¡± Suddenly, an employee pulled back the dressing room¡¯s curtain and showed her face in the room. Madame made a discontented face as she narrowed her eyebrows. ¡°Did we have a wife or two coming to the boutique?¡± ¡°But..¡± As the staff looked back and glanced at the dressing room nervously, Madame¡¯s eyes widened as she noticed it promptly. ¡°What? You should have told me earlier!¡± Madame threw down her fan, straightened her clothes, and then came down the stairs with a bustling sound. While pulling back the dressing room¡¯s curtain, Madame turned to me. ¡°Well, then, Aelle! Think about it!¡± As I watched Madame disappearing into the curtain, I blinked in confusion. Madame always works hard pleasing the guests, but it was surprising to see her so excited. Who the hell was that guest? ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but could you step aside, please?¡± At that moment, an employee was in a hurry with a dress in her arms. She was trying to go to the dressing room but couldn¡¯t go because I was standing in her way. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry.¡± I apologized to the employee and tried to turn around, but I tripped over my shoe and fell down taking the employee down with me. ¡°Ugh!¡± I sprang up and looked at the staff. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, are you okay?¡± The employee grabbed her ankle, groaning in pain. She sighed helplessly as she saw the dress lying on the ground. ¡°I had to bring it right now¡­¡± Judging by her teary face, it looked like the dress was of an important person. I looked back and forth between the dress and her ankle. I picked up the dress and arranged it neatly in my arms. ¡°Should I take it to the dressing room?¡± ¡°I should be taking it to the fitting room¡­¡± The employee looked up at me with worried eyes. I nodded my head and smiled to reassure her. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll leave it where one can clearly see it.¡± I grabbed the employee¡¯s arm to help her get up, and once again smiled turning around. All I had to do was quietly leave the clothes in the fitting room avoiding Madame and the guests¡¯ eyes. It was the first time I was going to the costume room or any other room besides the studio, it was not a serious task so I pulled open the curtain without much concern. Frowning at the spectacular lights coming down on my face, I passed Madame and the guest sitting on the sofa chatting. At first glance, the images of a woman and a man brushed past me like a canvas. (She didn¡¯t give it much thought, their image came to her mind and then disappeared.) Ho-ho, Madame laughed lightly covering her mouth. I pulled back the dark red curtain of the fitting room behind Madame. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you two to come together. How sweet.¡± ¡°Madame, you seem to have misunderstood. His Grace and I have been close friends for a long time.¡± ¡°Oh, my God, I¡¯m sorry.¡± His Grace? At the two syllables, my heart dropped to my feet and my hands started trembling. My eyes involuntarily turned to the man. I stared at them blankly. No to be exact, at Kyle, who was smiling affectionately at the woman who sat by his side. The grey eyes that were facing the woman slowly shifted and turned to me. For a moment, his eyes grew bigger, but in the next, the indifferent gaze returned to the woman. I hurried into the fitting room, taking my gaze away from them. I didn¡¯t think it was Duke Herace and Countess Harden who made Madame run out. I¡¯m glad I placed the dress in my arm, otherwise, the cloth would have been crumpled by my clenched fists. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect I would be given the honour of supplying dresses to the Countess of Harden, so shall we go see them?¡± Madame¡¯s excited voice reached my ears. Since I couldn¡¯t see them, No matter how much I asked myself to ignore it, I became more focused on the sound. ¡°All right, Madame.¡± Soon, I sighed in relief hearing the sound of distant footsteps walking away. I quickly hung the dress on a hanger in the room. I had to hurry out of here before they came back. I hung the hanger on the grommet above the oval full-length mirror and turned to face the curtain. (In the early 17th-century grommet meant ¡®a circle of rope used as a fastening¡¯:) As I put my hand in the gap between the curtains, a beautiful hand appeared and pulled the curtains back. ¡°Hiding and eavesdropping like a rat.¡± ¡°Your Grace.¡± When I slowly looked up, Kyle was staring at me with a cold face. I took a step back because of the tense atmosphere. CH 4 ¡°It¡¯s a misunderstanding, this is where I work-.¡± ¡°Did you see the Countess of Harden and Duke Herace coming together?¡± At that moment a shrill voice rang out. It was the voice of one of the ladies who were looking at the dresses in other sections. Kyle slowly rolled his eyes and looked at the direction where the sound was coming from. ¡°Contrary to the rumors, she seems to be thinking of remarrying, isn¡¯t that right? The sharp words of these voices are directed at Countess Harden. The voices of the noble wives got closer, and then they came closer to the dressing room area. Kyle clicked his tongue briefly, then pulled the curtain back and entered the dressing room. ¡°Yes, Your Grace?¡± For a moment I was surprised, I stuck to the wall like a rat in a corner avoiding Kyle. With his back closely attached to the wall, he looked up at Kyle, relying on a beam of light coming at an angle. The voices of the ladies resounded through the red curtain. ¡°About the two of them, their friendly appearance is a little too close to simply being close friends¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Oh, So, I¡¯m not the only one who felt that way?¡± Suspicions about the relationship between the Countess of Harden and the Duke of Herace were evident in the conversation. Kyle clenched his jaw and stared into the air with bleary eyes. Being alone with him in a place quiet enough for me to hear his breath, but to him I seemed invisible. ¡°Is it possible? I feel sorry for the lonely countess, but what a shame that she refused to remarry.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right?¡± ¡°The Duke had also been a close friend of Count Harden.¡± Then, the loud laughter of the ladies was heard. Kyle and I both knew it was gossip disguised as sympathy. Kyle peered through the curtain with his sullen eyes, but didn¡¯t step forward. Probably because he knew that feeding the ladies with gossip would be the best. ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± Feeling strange, I kept my mouth shut. But, on the other hand, this might be the only time I could steal glances from his face. Kyle smirked as he fixed his eyes on the dark red curtain. He turned his gaze away with boredom and looked at me, who was staring at him, relying on the light beam. I shivered and looked down as if I had been caught stealing. Kyle¡¯s eyes examined me, and it was not long after that he spoke in a low pitched voice. ¡°Is the proposed contract still valid?¡± ¡°What are you¡­¡­¡± I looked up hearing the words that didn¡¯t fit the situation. ¡°I have no intention to use my fortune meaninglessly. And I also don¡¯t intend to naturally connect with the Karena family. A sponsorship is enough.¡± Your Excellency? I blinked listening to the soft voice as if possessed. Not being able to keep up with my dull head, I looked up at him, he smiled self-assuredly. He seemed to give a clear and concise answer for me who couldn¡¯t understand. ¡°Let¡¯s do it, the marriage¡± Kyle pulled back the end of the curtain with his eyes still fixed on me. A blindingly intense light illuminated him and hit his face. The scene of a man and woman in very close proximity face to face with each other was exposed in the open dressing room. The intense light pierced my eyes, but I couldn¡¯t even blink my eyes because of the surprise. ¡°O-Oh my god¡­¡­. He is¡­¡­.¡± The sound of the startled ladies swallowing their breath pierced my ears. Kyle raised his lips and tilted his face obliquely whispering. His voice was coated with sarcasm. ¡°What a relief/I¡¯m glad.¡± ¡°¡­ ¡­¡± ¡°A marriage with a clear purpose.¡± In the unbelievable situation, my fingertips trembled, and my face became pale. Although, Contempt was read in the eyes that mine met, but it was a fluke for me. I clenched my fists to the point of making my hands turn white, and grabbed the fluke that had come into my grasp. Because this is the only way I can be by his side. ? ¡°I have nothing to take with me.¡± I slowly looked around the room, which had just an old bed. A sad smile hung on the corner of my lips. I guess, It¡¯s time to say goodbye to this place. The only thing that shines in this attic is the small amount of sunlight coming through the window during the day, but it was the only place in the house where I could avoid/hide from my father¡¯s eyes. I was so surprised when Kyle accepted the offer, and adding the stunned gazes of the ladies on me, I felt so overwhelmed that I ran away from the boutique and went home. The next day, if not for the carriage with the Duke of Herace¡¯s Insignia, I would¡¯ve thought that I had been dreaming and just let it pass. I smiled self-consciously and approached the table in the center. I ran my trembling fingers on the table along the grain of the wood. Soon, it was time for the carriage to arrive. ¡°I have to go.¡± I smiled softly and brushed my hands together. I had to say my last goodbyes to my father. *** ¡°You fucking bitch!¡± (¡°? ?? ??!¡±:- ??-can mean damn/fucking; ?- can mean wench/bitch!) Shweak-. I came to my senses by the sudden liquid pouring down my face. It was because my father had poured the drink he was drinking on me. The smell of alcohol hit my nose, and my previously neat dress was now wet and clinging on my body heavily. The gin had wet my hair and was now dripping from the tip of the hair. I just told my father I¡¯d be getting married, and thus severing ties with him, but he turned red as if he had been humiliated and got angry. ¡°Just like that orabi of yours who left me and ran away, it¡¯s the same, isn¡¯t that right?¡± (Orabi ¨C older brother of a female) Father¡¯s twisted voice resonated through the old house. He approached the table and poured gin into an empty glass. Even though he was staggering and hiccuping on his way, it wouldn¡¯t be strange if he collapsed right away. My father hadn¡¯t always been like this. Looking at the fragments of my memories, there was a time when my father laughed and stroked my hair. When he held me in his arms and said, ¡®You¡¯re so pretty.¡¯ My mother jumped in the lake to save my brother from drowning, and while he lived, she died. From then on, My father became addicted to alcohol and started resenting my brother. ¡°No, no. You look like your mother.¡± Father raised his head with a grotesque laugh and tilted the glass to his mouth. I lifted my eyes and stared at the scene emotionlessly, just then my father¡¯s eyes suddenly pierced me like an arrow. Shweak-. He looked like he was drinking, but then he poured gin over my face again. I wiped away the drops that had covered my vision with the back of my hand and shook my hand. ¡°A woman with no sense of grace.¡± (The word used here is ?? ?gye-jib? means female but the word includes looking down on women. and that is not used in real life and at present. It is an old word that we can hear in historical dramas.) Tak-. My father put the glass on the table with an audible sound, and started making his way to the door. Before he could grab the doorknob and turn it, I calmly opened my mouth. ¡°He said he would sponsor you.¡± ¡°What?¡± Father frowned and asked sharply. ¡°He said he was going to sponsor you, my father.¡± My father¡¯s eyes widened, and then he turned around with a smile on his face. A gleam flashed in his drunken eyes. ¡°W-who is your fianc¨¦!¡± At that moment, I kept my mouth firmly shut as if a heavy stone had been placed on it. Kyle would soon sponsor Father, and Father would know who I would marry even if I didn¡¯t want him to know. But I didn¡¯t want to tell my father through my own mouth, so I kept my mouth shut. I didn¡¯t want to say his name in front of my father, to whom I had never spoken about it to. In front of the person who was more concerned about filling his pocket than caring about his daughter¡¯s happiness. ¡°Who is it?!¡± After I kept my mouth shut for a while, my father screamed and crumpled his face. His eyes were ferocious as if he was going to throw his drunken body and attack me right away. ¡°This is the only time.¡± ¡°By the looks of it, it¡¯s a good place, so why should I let you, isn¡¯t that right? He takes you, and my cash cow will be gone! So, he should be giving me a fair amount of money!¡± My father twisted his jaw and stared at me with disgust. Like a habit, I clasped my one hand in the other. Even though I was no longer young, I was as nervous and almost freezed when I stood in front of my father. ¡°Promise me.¡± I slowly lifted my gaze and looked at my father. It¡¯s been a long time since I made eye contact with my father. My father, who had a shabby appearance and a shaggy beard, seemed to have a musty odor all over his body. ¡°You won¡¯t appear in front of me and that person.¡± Then I will promise to support you. Incidentally, my father¡¯s eyes lit up with sparks. How long has it been? By the time my fingers were numb and trembling, All of a sudden he shaped his eyes in a gentle manner. I thought he would run to the table and throw a drink at me. Contrary to what I was prepared for, my father raised his lips and showed a rare smile. ¡°How about this? Let me meet him.¡± ¡°I beg your pardon?¡± I distorted my face as if it were cracked and lifted my gaze slowly. There was an expression of unexplained joy on my father¡¯s face. ¡°I¡¯ll meet that person. I¡¯ll meet-.¡± ¡°No, Father, you can¡¯t meet him.¡± Father narrowed his eyebrows and breathed heavily with an angry face. He seemed as if he was about to burst in anger at any given moment. ¡°Father, Please, don¡¯t be like this, I beg of you.¡± I closed my eyes with a feeling of distress. Partly because I didn¡¯t want to see my father¡¯s face, the past years flashed through my mind. In the past, I had supported my father as a child, in place of my older brother. I hoped that the older brother who had left would come back, waiting patiently. I always tried to keep a place for him when he would come back. But he didn¡¯t return, and there was no reason to stay any longer. ¡°Please don¡¯t appear in front of me any more.¡± I clenched my fists until they turned white, and my eyes shone fiercely. My father pointed at me with his finger as if he was upset, and backed away. CH 5 ¡°You¡­ You¡­!¡± ¡°Please, I¡¯m begging you.¡± I bowed with all due respect for all those years. Then, I grasped the feelings of the past with my hands. ¡°Please, Father.¡± I just wanted him to think about the affection he once had for me and leave me be. I felt a stinging look in the back of my head, and suddenly I heard a bang and a heavy door closing. I slowly lifted my head and looked around the living room. Then, for the last time, I watched my father leave. Please don¡¯t let my greed hurt him. ¡°The ceremony will begin soon.¡± I was blankly staring outside the window at the wedding aisle[1], when someone approached and bowed. It was Laura who would be my exclusive servant in the future. It seemed wedding preparations were over. If the ceremony ended without any problems, Kyle and I would finally become an official couple. ¡°Excuse me.¡± As I stood by the entrance, the maids approached me and fussed over me. They straightened the hem of my dress and combed my hair neatly. I tried to calm my beating heart and raised my gaze. Laura was impeccably dressed, her hair tied in a ponytail, not a single hair out of place. The wrinkles on her face felt like the rings of a tree. She came from an aristocratic family in the province and became the nanny of Kyle Harace. She married a baron and started a family, but soon divorced, and the Duchess, who felt sorry for her, took her to their house. Kyle said he brought her back from her hometown after the Duke and the Duchess died. Advertisements Laura was civil with me, but I knew. She¡¯s not happy about this wedding. It was probably hard for her to acknowledge me, who was unqualified to be the Duchess, as a member of the family. Swallowing a bitter smile, I stared at Laura. ¡°Laura.¡± Laura stood up at the call. Her eyes that met mine were engraved with years of observing and seeing through people. ¡°Laura, everyone looked at me and said something like this.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°The clothes don¡¯t suit the subject[2].¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I will try to be recognized by everyone as the Duchess in the future.¡± I smiled sweetly at Laura. I wanted to get along with her. ¡°With Laura¡¯s help, I¡¯ll be sure to be acknowledged in the future.¡± At that moment, Laura¡¯s face looked startled. But it wasn¡¯t long before her expression hardened, and she bowed. ¡°If you¡¯d allow me, may I offer some advice?¡± ¡°Of course. Tell me, Laura.¡± ¡°Who do you mean when you walked about being recognized?¡± I was taken aback by the unexpected question but quickly answered, ¡°Of course, I¡¯m looking for everyone¡¯s recognition, including Laura.¡± ¡°The Duchess is not one to seek recognition. On the contrary, a person in such a position merits it. Please don¡¯t lower yourself anymore.¡± I blinked in surprise at Laura¡¯s sincere advice. She was a person who expressed her opinions without hesitation rather than someone who only said flattering things. I was fortunate. If I had a person like this by my side, if and when I make a mistake, she would quickly call me out on it to fix it. ¡°Thank you, Laura.¡± When I thanked her with a smile, she gave me a bewildered look and told me to be less transparent with my feelings and that I shouldn¡¯t thank her often. ¡°But I¡¯m grateful¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t help but pout, and Laura sighed in resignation. ¡°Then, I¡¯ll hear it this time.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± After a while, Laura handed the attendant a small jewelry box. When the servant opened the jewelry box, there was a diamond necklace that was so dazzlingly gorgeous. It was the first time I had seen such a gorgeously crafted ornament, and after staring at it in wonder, I let them put it on my neck. I felt the heavy weight for the first time in my life, so I thought I should be careful when breathing. At that moment, Laura and the attendant bowed to me. ¡°Then, I¡¯ll go.¡± I stared at a man standing in the middle of the hallway in the distance. Kyle, he was waiting for me to enter the ceremony hall. For a moment, the situation and Kyle¡¯s feelings disappeared from my mind, and I wanted to laugh. He was waiting for me. That alone didn¡¯t make me regret proposing a contract marriage to him. I followed Laura to Kyle. The sound of heels was as distinct as the sound of raindrops falling on the window. ¡°Your Excellence.¡± Kyle¡¯s gaze landed on me. ¡°You.¡± At that moment, he had a rare look of surprise that forced me to stop in my tracks. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I asked, looking over my body to see what made him react the way he did. After a moment, he turned away, not answering. I straightened my dress. There didn¡¯t seem to be anything wrong with it. ¡°Then, I¡¯ll excuse myself.¡± As the entrance time drew near, Laura withdrew. Soon, the first notes of the wedding march started, and we went into position. I glanced at Kyle¡¯s strong arm, then slowly raised my hand to hold his sleeve. I couldn¡¯t dare link arms with him. Nevertheless, the anger in his face caused my heart to ache. ¡°That necklace,¡± Kyle suddenly spoke. Necklace? Before he started walking, he gritted, ¡°It looks good on you.¡± There was a slight anger in Kyle¡¯s calm voice. His cold eyes lingered on my neck. No, to be exact, on the diamond necklace around my neck. After a moment, his eyes turned away. Ah, I understood. I smiled bitterly and touched the necklace. This was a token of love that he couldn¡¯t give to the woman he loved. And he only found out just before the wedding. He was angry because someone wore the jewelry without his knowledge, and that someone was me. I found Laura in the crowd behind me. Advertisements Did she make me wear this necklace even though she knew this? Doubts rose in my mind for a moment, but I shook my head. There was no malice in Laura¡¯s eyes. I was wearing something that wasn¡¯t mine, and I was holding the arm of someone who wasn¡¯t mine either. Yes, I knew that from the beginning. But simply knowing that fact and seeing it firsthand was quite different. Like a petulant child, my steps grew heavier, and my grips on his arms grew even tighter. Knock knock¨C Someone knocked on the tightly closed office door. ¡°Come in.¡± The door opened, and Laura approached Kyle with her no-nonsense attitude. ¡°Your Excellency, the Duchess will arrive at the mansion soon,¡± Laura said, but Kyle fixed his gaze on the papers without any response. He spoke indifferently, ¡°You¡¯ve done something useless.¡± Laura immediately knew Kyle was talking about Duchess¡¯s necklace, which Aelle wore at the wedding. Bowing her head deeply, Laura said, ¡°She is the one who will hold the center of the family.¡± There was a slight tremor at the end of her voice. ¡°There is no reason to touch Mother¡¯s belongings without my permission.¡± ¡°It was a token left to me by the former Duchess. She left a will to pass it on to your new family.¡± Kyle¡¯s nib fell off the paper. He raised his gaze with boredom and looked at Laura. ¡°I guess she liked it.¡± Laura neither affirmed nor denied his question, but it was more apparent than any answer could give. His gray eyes darkened. ¡°Laura, what do you think I called you for?¡± ¡°Please enlighten me, Your Excellency.¡± Kyle huffed and tilted his head. There was no way she didn¡¯t know. Laura has been watching over him since he was young, would have known who owned his heart. She would know that today¡¯s marriage and the woman staying in the mansion were nothing but pretenses. ¡°You¡¯re very loyal to Mother. You¡¯ve kept her memento safe and have returned it. So, the only person I can entrust this task is you.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Aelle. Keep an eye on her and report it to me to make sure she doesn¡¯t spread any rumors.¡± How could Laura dare spy on the Duchess? However, since it was Kyle¡¯s order, Laura had no choice but to follow. ¡®If you¡¯re going to be so careful, why would you marry her and keep her around?¡¯ Laura had a question she didn¡¯t dare to ask. Aelle Carena. She was very different from other noblewomen. She was always wary of others and perceptive of people¡¯s feelings. Laura could not forget her bright brown eyes. She seemed well aware of her position, so she wasn¡¯t the kind of person to gossip. After thinking deeply, Laura looked up. CH 6 ¡°Then the interior management of the mansion¡­¡± ¡°The butler will take over that.¡± Laura raised an eyebrow behind Kyle¡¯s back. She couldn¡¯t believe Kyle was leaving the house to the butler. It was like he was letting his employees know that the new Madam was nothing but a Duchess by name. Her position would be unstable if she did not assume the family¡¯s internal authority. ¡°But if you don¡¯t give your wife the authority to the household¨C¡± ¡°Laura.¡± Laura stopped talking when she heard the cold voice. When she lifted her head, there was her owner, whose eyes were gleaming with a sullen glare. ¡°Stop being presumptuous.¡± Laura shrugged at Kyle¡¯s high-strung energy. She expected that he would change as the years passed, but her master, whom she saw for the first time in ten years, had become a more ruthless person than she had expected. ¡°Yes, Your Excellency.¡± It must be because of the accident. Laura squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. Kyle¡¯s eyes turned to his quill, and so Laura left the office. There was silence in the office, and after a while, someone knocked on the door. Knock, knock¨C The door creaked, and the butler entered. ¡°Your Excellency.¡± Advertisements He had light blue hair and light blue eyes and looked to be about the same age as Kyle. His name was Takan, a former mercenary hired by Kyle himself. ¡°Takan.¡± Kyle¡¯s high-strung energy had softened. Takan approached Kyle and bowed. ¡°Yes, sir¡­ Shit.¡± While saying hello, Takan suddenly raised his upper body and grimaced. ¡°I¡¯m having goosebumps.¡± Takan rubbed his forearm and took off his monocle. ¡°Why did you get married all of a sudden?¡± Tarkan rubbed his face and leaned against the desk. Takan was born to parents who worked for a noble family. However, he remembered that his parents were constantly bowing down and were often kicked and abused when they met their violent masters. To him, no matter how perfect the nobles acted, it wouldn¡¯t hide the fact that they were filth. Even the commoners living with the nobility did not understand. It was because they didn¡¯t experience the life of begging the aristocrats for crumbs, all the while not being treated as human. That¡¯s why Takan couldn¡¯t understand his parents. Takan¡¯s parents died, and he and his sister settled on the outskirts. As a mercenary, they barely made ends meet as they lived paycheck to paycheck, but he and his sister were happy. Until the enemy attacked the village and he lost her sister. From then on, Takan began to cut people regardless of whether they were an ally or an enemy. When Takan lived a life like a beast, it was Kyle and Louis who stopped him. Takan joined them and forgot his identity. On the battlefield, their status was nothing but a bluff, and they gave each other their shoulders, which no one had offered theirs before in their lives. He thought it would be okay if all nobles were like Kyle and Louis. ¡®If there¡¯s no place to live after the war, I¡¯ll come to you.¡¯ He used to say that in jest. Yes, he thought so. Following his younger sister, Takan had to witness the moment when a close friend¡¯s head was decapitated. He was desperate, but not as much as Kyle. So, maybe he¡¯d gone crazy and turned Takan, who didn¡¯t even know the basics, into a butler. ¡®What? You want me to be a butler?¡¯ ¡®That¡¯s right.¡¯ ¡®Don¡¯t you know I¡¯m a mercenary because I don¡¯t want to do that? No, not even a knight, why a butler? I can¡¯t do that, I won¡¯t!¡¯ Eventually, Takan couldn¡¯t refuse and took over. How hard it was to learn the aristocracy, the upper-class culture, the manners, the rules, and so on. He struggled to correct his erratic steps. Takan sighed and squeezed his neck. He was tired of taking on the internal work of the mansion, which was not suitable for his aptitude. ¡®This is why I don¡¯t like nobles.¡¯ Takan glanced at Kyle. He just didn¡¯t get him. To marry a woman you don¡¯t even love to stop a rumor like that. Takan grimaced as he recalled Aelle at the wedding. ¡°Why such a woman?¡± ¡°Takan.¡± ¡°I¡¯d rather you marry the Countess! It¡¯s good for you and Louis!¡± As Kyle raised his gaze, Takan groaned and waved his hand. ¡°Ah, do what you want. I don¡¯t care about the dignity or rumors of such a noble.¡± Takan turned around and raised his monocle with his fingertips. It was time for the Duchess, whom he did not like, to arrive in a little while. ¡°I am going, sir.¡± Takan scratched the back of his head, a habit he couldn¡¯t shake off, and waved his hands impatiently. He dusted off his clothes and neatly arranged his hair. He had no choice but to do it to look the part. Well, he didn¡¯t mind hearing the employees whisper complaints about the young butler¡¯s. When Takan left the office, Kyle was finally alone. He opened the first drawer on the right. In the corner of the drawer was a small glass bottle, a token of friendship shared with Louis and Hari when they were children. ¡®Kyle! Louis! Can¡¯t I leave it? Do I have to carry it around like an alter ego?¡¯ ¡®But there¡¯s nothing in the glass bottle.¡¯ ¡®Kyle, there you go again. Hari and I told you, that¡¯s where we put our friendship!¡¯ ¡®What if Louis loses it?¡¯ ¡®Why would I lose it? Kyle, you¡¯d probably lose it.¡¯ ¡®Don¡¯t lose them both!¡¯ Friendship can grow when we¡¯re together, and let¡¯s put our friendship together in an empty glass bottle¡ªsomething like that. ¡®I¡¯d rather you marry the Countess! It¡¯s good for you and Louis!¡¯ Getting married to Hari wasn¡¯t something he could even dare dream of. Louie and Hari were special to Kyle. His father used extravagance to regain the lost political power. Luxury and excess were the symbols of power, leaving the family with only a name. Eventually, saddled with huge debts, they became nervous as the repayment date approached, and couldn¡¯t stand the loss of prestige and chose to commit suicide. Around that time, Kyle witnessed the suicide of his father and mother in the basement of his study. Maybe that¡¯s why Kyle despised dark and narrow spaces. Because it would remind him of the day he found the bodies of his parents. Advertisements From that day on, Kyle suffered from aphasia. He had no time to mourn the death of his parents. Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me alone in a world where you also chose death? He wanted to ask those questions but couldn¡¯t, so Kyle kept his mouth shut. He blamed his loved one and felt the pain of his life collapsing. ¡®Kyle!¡¯ The people who saved Kyle were his childhood friends, Louis and Hari. The Empire believed in gods. However, it meant nothing to Kyle. For Kyle, these two were his gods, and their words were doctrines. Marrying Hari. That ship had sailed a decade ago. From the moment Louis and Hari went to him holding hands. From the moment the two smiled at each other, and acknowledged they were good together. Kyle had missed his chance. And that wasn¡¯t all. Louis lost his life to save Kyle. Kyle knew it was a debt he couldn¡¯t repay for the rest of his life. The debt he owed to Louis and Hari weighed more heavily on his heart than the debt left by his father. She vowed to spend the rest of her life with Louis, who had left, and he respected her decision. All Kyle could do was protect Hari so that she could live happily for the rest of her life on behalf of Louis. So Hari, she should never know his mind. ¡°Aelle Carena.¡± Kyle narrowed his eyes and tightened his grip on the glass bottle. It¡¯s a marriage for each other¡¯s benefit. Aelle was a haven, a life of abundance, a marriage in vain to hide his heart from Hari. ¡°Aelle.¡± Kyle¡¯s gray eyes glistened in the dark. ¡°Wow.¡± I covered my mouth with my hand. I had never been to a proper aristocratic mansion because I grew up poor. I had set foot in the Duke¡¯s residence before, but at that time, I was so nervous that I only stared at the back of the head of the employee who guided me. A diamond chandelier hanging from the main hall of the mansion. The walls embroidered with gold. From the walls and furniture to the artwork. I gawked at the mansion in awe. Rumors circulated that the previous duke had spent beyond his means and even borrowed from his vassals. Was it true? At that moment, someone approached and said, ¡°Did you feel any inconvenience on your way?¡± I was surprised in a different sense than I was before. I¡¯ve never seen anyone in such a neat outfit. With refreshing sky blue eyes and hair, he had a distinctive appearance no matter how clean he tried to look. The monocle on the bridge of his nose looked like decorations worn to make them look intelligent. The scar that crossed the left eyebrow diagonally was particularly conspicuous. CH 7 He stopped at a close distance and bowed his head, placing his hands on his chest. ¡°My greetings are late. I¡¯m the butler, Takan.¡± My eyes met Takan, whose eyes were on me even with his head bowed. Before arriving at the mansion, I expected that no one would welcome me. I was sure that was going to happen. But, there was a big difference between what I imagined and what I faced. Even in the breath he exhaled, Takan was transparent in showing his dislike for me. His face clearly painted his thoughts. ¡®You don¡¯t belong in the family. I feel humiliated to have someone like you as my master.¡¯ I blinked at Laura, who was behind me. What should I do in this case? Laura whispered sternly, ¡°You can answer however you want.¡± Although technically I was an aristocrat, I had given up such a life a long time ago, and it felt unfamiliar to me than an employee greeted me. Still, I was determined to try and be worthy of being the Duke¡¯s partner. ¡°Thank you, Takan.¡± When I said hello, Takan only lifted his face. Then, he adjusted his monocle and turned around without hesitation. ¡°I will guide you to your room.¡± ¡°Hey¡­!¡± At my urgent call, Takan stopped and only turned to face me after a moment. He didn¡¯t hide his irritation. I flinched but didn¡¯t back down and asked, ¡°Where is His Excellency?¡± Takan narrowed his eyes but soon smirked and answered dryly, ¡°He¡¯s out of the house now. Then I¡¯ll show you around.¡± It was a seemingly innocuous tone. Haa¡­ so he¡¯s not in the mansion. I didn¡¯t think that Kyle would show his face or welcome me warmly on the first day of our wedding, but it was rather bitter and sad. She held herself for comfort before following Takan. Laura silently followed behind. As we walked to the main hall, employees who were busy working appeared. They glanced at me and looked away in surprise when our eyes met. They didn¡¯t do anything wrong, but they looked awkwardly at me for no reason. ¡°Madam, be careful of the stairs,¡± Laura warned. I picked up the hem of my dress and followed Takan upstairs. I unconsciously looked around, but my gaze stopped at a figure hanging on the wall of the landing. Inside the frame, young Kyle and three people I assumed were the former Duke and Duchess smiling, staring straight ahead. Kyle¡¯s childhood. What kind of childhood did he have? The Countess knew all about Kyle¡¯s childhood. I couldn¡¯t help but feel envious. ¡°Madam.¡± Laura came over and looked at my complexion. ¡°Are you feeling unwell?¡± She must have thought it strange that I suddenly stopped. I looked around, and Takan had stopped walking. ¡°Ah, I¡¯m alright.¡± I smiled. Laura looked worried, but I meant it. At least I could be in the same space with Kyle. I continued walking upstairs. Now that I¡¯m in the mansion, I can stay by his side. I filled my head with simple and foolish thoughts. I realized that I was out of place. I couldn¡¯t help but be surprised to see the room that Takan had shown me. It was too glamorous. The room I lived in had mold growing on every edge of the worn-out wood. Whenever it rained, water leaked through the damaged wood. The furniture was older than me, and the only decorations in the room were broken lights. I suddenly remembered the shabby outfit I wore the day I first met Kyle. What was Kyle thinking? I must have been a mess. I wasn¡¯t wearing the same clothes, nor was Kyle here, but I self-consciously smoothed over my current outfit. ¡°I¡¯ll excuse myself. Rest well.¡± Click- Advertisements I probably would have continued looking around the room in a daze if Takan hadn¡¯t bowed and said he would leave. In the room, there was a canopy bed where three or four people could sleep. It was a simple room with only mahogany tables, chairs, and consoles, but the artworks decorated everywhere were dazzling. I liked the balcony where I could smell the seasons. How nice it would be to open a window with him and watch the curtains swaying in the wind. It would be lovely to drink tea during the day and dance with him at night. I smiled softly at the dream that would not come true. Knock, knock¨C At that moment, someone knocked on the door. When Laura opened the door, two maids stood side by side, bowing their heads and staring at the floor. When I cast a puzzled look at Laura, Laura whispered, ¡°These are the maids who will help me serve Madam.¡± The maids approached me and bowed again. Finally, one of them looked at me, and our eyes met. She flinched and dropped her curious gaze back on the floor. ¡°Please take care of me.¡± I was about to bow back but regretfully stopped. I looked up to see Laura slightly shaking her head. She meant that I, the Duchess, should not bow my head to the employee. I was afraid it had become a habit. My body moved reflexively because I always lowered my head. I was no longer familiar with the situation where someone bowed to me. I replaced my greeting with a smile. Among the two maids, a black-haired servant standing on the left turned her head. She groaned, but I couldn¡¯t hear it because she was far away. Laura overtook me and stood in front of them. ¡°Leave.¡± At Laura¡¯s stern voice, the two servants bowed their heads and retreated. The oak door closed. Laura stared at the door for a long time, then opened it. She only approached me after making sure that no one was eavesdropping outside the door. ¡°What¡¯s the matter, Laura?¡± Laura bowed politely. ¡°Madam, may I once again offer you some advice?¡± ¡°Alright.¡± ¡°There was a word from your Excellency that the authority inside the mansion was not entrusted to Madam. Did you know that?¡± Laura ended it with a worried tone. I could see what she was anxious about. ¡°¡­I do.¡± As we discussed the contract, I agreed with him when he said he would not relinquish his authority over the household. However, it was a warning that I couldn¡¯t do anything in the family as I wanted. The only thing I could touch freely was the funds for maintaining my dignity as the Duchess. Since I wasn¡¯t a high-ranking noble in the first place, my position as the Duchess would be unstable if I wasn¡¯t given the reigns to manage the house. Moreover, a person like me was no different than a commoner. Advertisements ¡°Madam, you¡¯ll have to speak informally to me in the future. The same goes for the other employees. Furthermore¡­¡± Laura paused. I just smiled, knowing what she was going to say. ¡°Madam, you must never bow your head to anyone inside the mansion except for the Duke.¡± ¡°It¡¯s become a habit. Maybe it¡¯s because I¡¯ve worked in a mansion pretending to be a commoner.¡± Laura looked up sharply. Ah, right. I wasn¡¯t used to it, so I kept using honorifics. ¡°I see,¡± Laura still used honorifics despite her stern behavior. She took a deep breath and lowered her gaze. ¡°Contrary to your personality, you have to look more coldly and respond more coldly.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You have to know how to draw the line.¡± I nodded as if I knew what Laura was saying. She was probably concerned that I was powerless in the mansion. I wasn¡¯t good enough, so I was worried. Maybe Laura was the only one in this mansion who would help me. I frowned playfully. ¡°Laura, you worry too much. Ah.¡± I shook my head and tapped my lips a couple of times. ¡°There are a lot.¡± Laura sighed deeply and groaned. She always saw through people. Looking out for others was ingrained in her. I just laughed softly and whispered, ¡°It¡¯s still difficult, so I¡¯ll take it slow.¡± ¡°He¡¯s not here yet?¡± I fell asleep while waiting for Kyle. I looked around and stared into the still, still room. I couldn¡¯t hear anything inside or outside the room. This wasn¡¯t what I wanted. It had been less than a day since I stayed in the mansion, but I discovered a world I had never known before. I was especially surprised when I ate. The only food I ate was crusty bread, which was sold at a bargain, or a thin soup with a lot of water added to increase the quantity. Alone at a large table, I sat in awe as they served me fresh food. And the dress? It was gorgeous. The gifts from the Duchy¡¯s vassals and acquaintances we received to celebrate our wedding were also unexpected. But I didn¡¯t want that. CH 8 Even though it was our first day together as a married couple, I hadn¡¯t seen Kyle once since I came to the mansion. I slowly got up and stared at the door. I couldn¡¯t sleep at all because of the unfamiliar luxurious bedroom. ¡°Let¡¯s go out.¡± Wearing the slippers by the bedside, I walked carefully like a newborn child. When I grabbed the golden doorknob, the sound of the hinges echoed. I could see the hallway faintly bathed in light. It was dark, but unlike the house I lived in, it didn¡¯t look lonely. As I turned my gaze to where I could hear a sign of movement, I saw an employee passing through the aisle at the end of the hallway. Envious, I left the room. ¡°Excuse me¡­¡± Was my voice too soft? The employee didn¡¯t look back, nor did they show any reaction. ¡°Excuse me¡­!¡± Only then did the employee hear my voice. He turned his head, flinching at the sound. His eyes widened and he bowed. ¡°You called.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ Yes.¡± It was the first time I¡¯d called an employee myself, so I wasn¡¯t sure how to speak. I rubbed my nape, hesitated, and said, ¡°Where is His Excellency?¡± With an embarrassed look, the staff swallowed. ¡°In the bedroom.¡± Advertisements Wasn¡¯t his bedroom here? I tilted my head, puzzled. Then, at my silence, he answered, ¡°His Excellency is using another room. I¡¯m sorry.¡± It was nothing to be sorry about, but he emphasized his apology. ¡°Ah¡­¡± I sighed. I¡¯d been hoping I¡¯d see his face more often when we get married, but even that wasn¡¯t easy. ¡°I¡¯ll go, then.¡± At my last words, he deeply bowed and left. Strangely, unlike a while ago, the hallway looked lonely. Deureuk¨C I sat in front of the console and opened the drawer. There was a diary that I had been writing since I entered the mansion. It had geometric patterns embroidered with gold thread. The diary was all about Kyle, but the time I spent with him was nonexistent. So, really, what¡¯s the use of the diary? He¡¯s not in my time, and I wasn¡¯t in his. For a month, I didn¡¯t see Kyle¡¯s face. We could have bumped into each other since we lived in the same mansion, but I didn¡¯t see him at all. It kind of felt as if he were avoiding me. ¡°Huu¡­¡± I slumped over the table. There was no one else here, but I covered my face with my arms so no one could see me. I didn¡¯t even want to see the portraits hanging on the wall looking at me. It wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t expect that my words and actions would offend him. Only a fool wouldn¡¯t notice his sharp feelings. At the moment, he didn¡¯t like me, but I had hoped that if I could talk to him and show him who I was, he¡¯d see a little bit of my sincerity. But, of course, it was a simple and arrogant idea. I didn¡¯t even have the energy to open the mountain of invitations on my console. All I did was breathe and think of him. While waiting for him, my feelings alternated between excitement and despair. It was an endless cycle. My feelings for him pooled like water. During the day, I received a shard of light and glowed, and in the evening, I sank into darkness. It didn¡¯t dry out, nor did it flow, and it bothered me. Unfortunately, when I stayed up all night waiting for him, he didn¡¯t come back to the mansion, but on the day I gave up and fell asleep, he did. It wasn¡¯t just bad luck; it was as if fate was blocking my way towards him. Knock, knock¨C Amid my inner turmoil, someone suddenly knocked. ¡°Come in,¡± I said, my voice weak. The door opened, and Laura entered with a tray full of tea and refreshments. I put my journal in the drawer and closed it. ¡°I bought tea and refreshments.¡± I headed to the table in the middle of the room. ¡°Thank you.¡± As I sat in the chair, Laura picked up the teapot and poured the tea. Staring at the drink flowing into the teacup in a semicircle, I picked up the cup. ¡°Madam.¡± Laura handed me a blue envelope. A sealing wax with an unfamiliar pattern covering the mouth of the envelope caught my eye. ¡°An invitation.¡± ¡°An invitation?¡± Laura looked flustered, not at all like her usual confident self, as she hesitated to speak. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Who sent it?¡± ¡°The Countess of Harden¡­¡± It was only after Laura audibly swallowed that she answered. ¡°This is an invitation from Countess Hari Harden.¡± ¡°The Countess?¡± Advertisements My eyes shook as I hurriedly opened the envelope. Then, suppressing my trembling emotions, I checked the letter and saw a neat and concise Imperial language. Did she write this herself? If she did, then even her penmanship was beautiful. In the letter, she introduced herself as Kyle¡¯s best friend and said that she wanted to drink tea with me alone to befriend me. As my eyes reached the end of the letter, Laura asked, ¡°What should I do?¡± I tried to recall the Countess I saw on the day of Count Harden¡¯s funeral. However, her face was completely hidden in a hazy fog. All I saw was that in her grief, she couldn¡¯t breathe, and she collapsed in Kyle¡¯s arms. I only remembered Kyle, who was also grieving as he held her in his arms. Even in other¡¯s pain, I couldn¡¯t help but look at Kyle. I even saw her at the boutique, but no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn¡¯t see her in my mind. When I didn¡¯t answer, Laura took the blue envelope and its contents scattered on the table to send a letter of refusal. ¡°Then, I¡¯ll write the refusal on your behalf¡­¡± ¡°Accept the invitation.¡± Laura had a rare look of surprise. I gripped the letter, curious about its sender. What kind of person was the woman who held Kyle¡¯s heart? What were her likes and dislikes? I wondered about her as much as I was curious about Kyle. Above all, I felt hope that I would be able to see Kyle with this excuse. Of course, I would need Kyle¡¯s permission since Hari was the Countess. ¡°What a shame.¡± To use the Countess for my personal greed. I lowered my gaze and stared intently at the invitation. I must meet Kyle today and ask permission to meet the Countess. ¡°Did you hear that?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Madam.¡± I stopped at the landing and focused on the sound from under the stairs. When I grabbed the railing, I saw Laura looking at me. ¡°The first day she entered the mansion, His Excellency used a separate bedroom.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Everyone is keeping their mouths shut, but a lot of people have noticed. Besides, we are waiting for the lady, but I¡¯ve never seen the two of them together.¡± Advertisements My hand that had been gripping the railing had turned white. I didn¡¯t think everyone would be as friendly as Laura, but it was daunting to actually experience it. ¡°Ah, how annoying.¡± After that, it was quiet until the sound of a mop being thrown on the floor echoed below. ¡°What is this? Yesterday I talked to Yuri, who delivered flowers to the Countess of Harden, and she just laughed. Everyone knows that the Duchess we¡¯re serving is a person whose origins and background are unknown.¡± ¡°What are you doing?¡± I continued to clench the railing as I raised my voice. The two maids jumped in surprise and looked up to where I was. As soon as they spotted me, they knelt in despair. Wait a minute, those people¡­ I narrowed my eyes and looked closely; they were people assigned to be my exclusive maids. One of them trembled violently, rubbing her hands. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Madam, I¡¯m sorry!¡± Laura, who was staring at the scene coldly, bowed her head. ¡°Let me tell the butler to fire her¨C¡± ¡°Don¡¯t reprimand them.¡± Laura looked up at me in surprise as if she didn¡¯t understand what I just said. ¡°I told you, Laura. I want to be recognized by everyone. If you reprimand them and fire them, I wouldn¡¯t have the chance to change their mind.¡± And to be honest, what the maids said wasn¡¯t wrong. But I held back that thought. CH 9 It¡¯s not that I didn¡¯t understand them. The master¡¯s power and hierarchy were the pride and honor of his people. I heard that the duchy¡¯s employees were mostly new hires. They must be proud to serve the Duke of Harace, especially since it was difficult to enter the house. So, unsurprisingly, the employees, including Butler Takan, wouldn¡¯t be pleased that I became the Duchess. But it wasn¡¯t that I wasn¡¯t angry or that I wasn¡¯t ashamed. It was also a question of whether I could fire them or not. If the butler tolerated this insult, then everyone in this house would realize how little power I actually had. Even if they were fired, it would still be a problem. I couldn¡¯t do that because I knew how sad it was for a person to suddenly lose their job. I slowly descended the stairs. Every time my hand ran across the railing, there was an eerie sound. The maids couldn¡¯t raise their eyes, much like rabbits in front of a lion. But I was doomed to lose my dignity. ¡°¡­¡± I tried to call them but paused. Come to think of it, I didn¡¯t even know their names. I couldn¡¯t keep track of my surroundings because I was in a tight situation. Slightly remorseful, I asked, ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± One of them responded quickly. ¡°M-my name is Mars.¡± The maid next to her opened her mouth. ¡°I¡¯m Lil.¡± She was relatively calm. She did not appeal to me for mercy, nor did she reflect on it. She seemed to be looking forward to getting punished. Her gaze reflected her repulsion towards me. Advertisements ¡°Laura.¡± I called Laura in a pretty stern voice. Laura hurried to my side. ¡°Cut their salary for one month.¡± As if I had authority, I spoke coldly and turned around. I bet Takan would do something like this. Mas fell flat on her stomach and repeated the same words, ¡°T-thank you! Thank you!¡± When I stopped walking and turned around, there was Lil, who, unlike Mars, was staring blankly at me. Lil was staring at me with her arms drooping helplessly, her expression sullen. When our eyes met, she hurriedly schooled her features. ¡°T-thank you¡­¡± It was a little softer than before. I nodded slightly to them, turned around, and ran into the person on the other side of the stairs. ¡°Your Grace.¡± Kyle was walking through the hall with Takan, taking off his gloves as if he had just returned home. It was the first time I had seen him in about a month. I was surprised to see Kyle narrowing his eyes and looking at me. I was worried he might misunderstand that I was pretending to be a hostess and scolding them. I looked down, waiting for Kyle¡¯s words, but he didn¡¯t speak. As I slowly raised my head, there was Kyle, still staring at me. For a moment, doubt flashed in his eyes. Maybe I misunderstood the situation. I hesitated for a moment before opening my mouth. ¡°Your Grace, this is¨C¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Kyle cut me off and turned around, his face indifferent. It would have been better if you said something. Kyle didn¡¯t ask or press what was going on. I shut my mouth and walked away. ¡°What is with that woman?¡± Takan narrowed his eyes at where Aelle was, his blue eyes glistening with discontent. Kyle walked past the hall without responding to Takan. ¡°Kyle, why is she pretending to be nice?¡± Kyle, who continued walking despite Tarkan¡¯s call, didn¡¯t stop until he reached the office where his aide was waiting. ¡®Don¡¯t reprimand them.¡¯ Advertisements Aelle¡¯s voice echoed in his mind. Truthfully, Kyle saw everything, from the maids talking ill of Aelle to the moment Aelle approached them. He thought Aelle would rush down the stairs and slap the maids. Yes, he expected that. However, Aelle did an excellent job of proving him wrong. Kyle turned slowly and stared at Aelle¡¯s back as he moved away from the first-floor hall. Before he realized it, he was standing by the railing and tapping on it. No matter how powerless, the influence that came with the position did not disappear. He expected Aelle to make full use of that power on the employees in the mansion and fulfill her self-indulgence. ¡°Well,¡± Kyle muttered as he narrowed his eyes. He still hadn¡¯t taken his eyes off Aelle¡¯s back. Upon arriving in the room, Laura closed the door and came closer to whisper, ¡°Madam, it is good to be merciful, but if you set a precedent, this will happen again and again.¡± ¡°Laura.¡± ¡°For whatever reason, they have insulted their masters,¡± Laura went on, clearly agitated. Then, she must have come to her senses and calmed herself down. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for being presumptuous.¡± Advertisements I patted Laura¡¯s shoulder with a smile and headed to the balcony. ¡°Laura, have you ever lost your job unfairly?¡± ¡°What do you mean by that¡­¡± ¡°I have.¡± I pulled back the curtains and stepped into the balcony. ¡°When I was ten years old, my brother left home. I was afraid to be alone in the house with my father, so I cried and blamed my brother, right?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°But I was starving because I wasted time on unnecessary emotions. I looked around the house, but there was nothing to eat.¡± I grabbed the railing and took a deep breath. The smell of damp summer wafted softly. ¡°My father sold all of my mother¡¯s belongings, so there was nothing in the house I could sell. So, I pretended to be a commoner and went to work in a mansion that needed more hands.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°People would refer to me as ¡®hey, you.¡¯ Then I got fired for something I didn¡¯t do. It was so unfair.¡± I shook my head as I recalled my childhood. ¡°I don¡¯t know how many times I tried to explain myself. Afterward, I cried my eyes out and walked home.¡± I lowered my face and smiled bitterly. Even though it happened a long time ago, the memory was so vivid as if it had been engraved in my brain. It was so easy to forget happy memories, but it was the opposite of sad memories. I could even remember the dandelion I saw on the roadside as I sobbed on my way home. ¡°When I got home with swollen legs, I cried and made a promise. I should never do that. I have to be nice to anyone below me. Remember their names, take care of their meals, and always remain just and fair. I didn¡¯t even know those maids¡¯ names.¡± ¡°Madam¡­¡± Laura approached the balcony, her voice filled with sympathy for the ten-year-old Aelle. As I turned in Laura¡¯s direction, the wind blew and made my hair flutter. ¡°What they did was wrong. But I don¡¯t want to make their lives difficult by punishing them too harshly.¡± I smiled, shrugging my shoulders and wrinkling my nose. ¡°Laura.¡± Laura slowly raised her head, and her fine hair shook. ¡°Besides, I have Laura. As Laura said, I have to make them look up to me. It¡¯s no use cutting them off.¡± She took a deep breath and smiled softly as if she couldn¡¯t help it. Her smooth wrinkles that were like a stream of water deepened. ¡°Yes, Madam, you¡¯re right.¡± There was warmth in Laura¡¯s dark eyes. ¡°It¡¯s impossible.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll wait until he returns home. You can keep an eye on me.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but that¡¯s impossible.¡± He didn¡¯t look sorry at all. I confronted Takan when I entered Kyle¡¯s office. Takan stared straight ahead and stood tall, and at first glance, he seemed more like a knight than a butler. Advertisements I looked at the sky-blue eyes and raised my chin sternly. ¡°Takan, you have no right to stop me. I¡­¡± It was awkward because it was the first time I¡¯d said such a thing, and I was skeptical whether I had the right to say it. I sighed before continuing. ¡°I am the Duchess.¡± A voice without a hint of confidence came out. Takan glared at me, but a moment later, he stepped aside with a groan. ¡°I don¡¯t know when he¡¯ll be home.¡± ¡°Thank you, Takan.¡± When Takan opened the door to the office, I hesitated before entering. There was a large, full-length window, a wide mahogany desk, and a multi-seater sofa for guests. I sat on the edge of the sofa and stared straight ahead. Laura asked me how I was faring once, but I just shook my head and said I was okay. CH 10 ¡°Madam¡­¡± Despite Laura¡¯s worried call, I kept my mouth shut and stared straight ahead. Sunset came and illuminated the table, yet no one entered the dark office. So I sat up all night on the sofa like an old tree guarding my seat. Day after day, I visited his office. Takan stared at me as if he were sick and tired of me. Laura spoke carefully, her voice laced with pity. ¡°Madam, it¡¯s late.¡± ¡°I will definitely meet him today.¡± At my stubborn words and actions, Laura relented and backed away. I chewed my lips. As expected, he¡¯s not coming today. What if he knew I was waiting for him and deliberately avoiding him. Then was I bothering him? I sighed and stared at my feet. How long have I been waiting? There was a loud noise outside and muffled voices speaking, but I heard someone swearing. Then, the door of the office violently opened, and there he was. Advertisements ¡°Your Grace,¡± I said, my eyes wide in surprise. It was a sight I never imagined I¡¯d see ¨C a drunken Kyle. It was the first time that he, who had always been sober, was inebriated. Kyle rubbed his face and sighed. Then, after some time, he entered the office and made his way to me. Kyle raised his chin and slid his gaze as slowly as a snake. ¡°Takan.¡± At first glance, he didn¡¯t stumble and lose balance the way a drunk person would. ¡°Yes, Your Grace.¡± ¡°Who told you to bring outsiders into the office?¡± Kyle¡¯s gray eyes stared at me coldly. It was not meant to rebuke Tarkan, but me, the outsider. Gripping the hem of my dress, I pulled myself off the sofa. ¡°I have something I wanted to tell you, so I waited. If I didn¡¯t do this¡­¡± I wouldn¡¯t meet you. I held back that thought. My mouth tasted bitter, as if I tasted my dad¡¯s strong liquor. As Kyle made his way to the sofa, Takan and Laura left the office. He sighed and leaned back on the sofa. It was as quiet as if there was nothing in the world but him and me. I sat across from him, swallowed hard, and brought up the words I had been preparing. ¡°The Countess of Harden has sent me an invitation.¡± At the mention of the Countess, Kyle trembled. He raised his gaze sharply like a predator that found its prey. His stare only touched me, but I felt the muscles all over my body stiffen. ¡°I¡¯m planning to accept it.¡± ¡°I thought I told you not to be presumptuous.¡± Kyle tilted his head and growled. ¡°Are you stupid enough to forget what I said?¡± I bit my lips and bowed. ¡°If I refuse, the Countess will be upset.¡± Kyle suddenly straightened and looked me in the eye. Then, at once, the distance between us got closer. ¡°What are you going to say?¡± He was barely holding back tears. Advertisements ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong. I won¡¯t do anything to embarrass Your Grace.¡± Kyle scoffed and looked away. ¡°That can¡¯t be true. Why, do you want Hari to reject me instead?*¡± He said it sarcastically. I calmed my pounding heart. Yes, I wanted to tell the Countess that the person I love loves you, but he¡¯s already married to me. Please break his heart. I expected Kyle¡¯s cold attitude, but it hurt to experience it firsthand. I clenched my teeth and held back my tears so that I wouldn¡¯t look ugly. My hand gripping the skirt was turning white. ¡°You seem to have drunk a lot. Then tomorrow¨C¡± ¡°But that won¡¯t be my weakness. I¡¯m married to you.¡± Kyle¡¯s voice trembled as it reached the end of the sentence. It sounded like a self-deprecating laugh as if resigned to his situation. ¡°No matter what you say, Hari won¡¯t believe you.¡± Kyle gritted his teeth and raised his head. Was it because of the lantern, the moonlight, or the alcohol? If not, maybe because of his tears. Kyle¡¯s eyes gleamed. Kyle, who had always been strong, was shaking as if he was about to collapse. Looking at him made my heart feel like dozens of needles were stabbing it. I suddenly remembered Kyle¡¯s jovial face at the boutique. Dark lips drawn upwards, elegant eyes, and a friendly voice. I envied the Countess for making Kyle like this, but my heart hurt, and my emotions soared. ¡°Your Grace.¡± I knelt at Kyle¡¯s feet and looked up at him. Unfocused gray eyes fell onto my face. Not long after, Kyle¡¯s hand softly rubbed my lips. Moist gray eyes shone on me transparently like a lake. Who was he looking at, me or Hari? I clenched my teeth and once more gripped the hem of my dress. ¡°Your Grace, I¡¯m not the Countess of Harden.¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t mistake anyone for Hari,¡± Kyle vehemently denied. No, you¡¯re definitely mistaken. Otherwise, you won¡¯t see me. As if possessed, I reached out towards his face. My fingertips moved slowly to his chin, to his cheek, then finally to his lips. Kyle¡¯s eyes moved along with my fingertips. Suddenly, Kyle¡¯s hand that touched my lips fell lightly. ¡°Is it okay if I¡¯m not her?¡± It was an impulsive question. I was going to wait until Kyle¡¯s heart fades after she rejects him. But, on the other hand, I had this cunning desire to capture his broken heart if I got the chance to comfort him. But will I ever get a chance? Will I ever cross that impenetrable wall? Just thinking about it made me feel impatient and frustrated. Desperate. Advertisements At that moment, Kyle¡¯s eyes glistened with vivid color. He rubbed my lips slowly as if longing, not breaking eye contact. ¡°I don¡¯t care who you are.¡± There was a deep desire in his voice. Kyle looked at me with glazed-over eyes. Did I catch his eyes? Or was he thinking of Hari? ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± As he looked away, I could no longer tell what kind of expression he was making. ¡°Whoever you are.¡± Soon after, Kyle¡¯s face drew closer, and his eyelashes filled my vision. Was he really looking at me? I couldn¡¯t push him away even though I had such doubts. I opened my mouth and welcomed him, and our breathing mixed. He probably didn¡¯t care who it was, unless the person he was holding in his arms was Hari. I woke up and looked around. As I slowly turned and stared at the room, I could see scattered clothes. Then the memories of the night before that I had forgotten came crashing down like a wave. ¡°Ah¡­¡± I sighed and slowly closed my eyes. His office no longer felt foreign, and caressing his skin was no longer a miracle to me. I don¡¯t have to feel thirsty for days when I can¡¯t see his face. Everything was my choice, so I have to endure these feelings of loneliness and emptiness. But. I once more stared at the wreckage from the night before. I reached out and grabbed them, and let them go. ¡°Kyle.¡± I didn¡¯t want the same loneliness to come when my drunken father knocked on my door like he would break it or when my trusted brother abandoned me. ¡°Madam¡­¡± ¡°Why, Laura?¡± When I asked with a gentle smile, Laura fixed her gaze on me. Compassion and worry overflowed in her eyes. You must have heard the crying in the office that day. It was a while back, but Laura was still worried. Laura was Kyle¡¯s nanny, so she must have been aware of his feelings. She also probably knew my foolish heart was pining for him. It was embarrassing that my feelings seemed so transparent to her. After a while, Laura looked away, knowing that I was feigning ignorance. CH 11 ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± I smiled shyly and wiped the back of my neck with my hand. I was sweaty, and my palms were glistening. I first saw Kyle in the winter, but the season had already turned to summer. Since then, the hot summer has passed by. What happened to us soaked in the sultry summer air, yet I still haven¡¯t had much time with Kyle. Instead, I frequently go out to meet Kyle, who came back from wherever he went and look at him from a distance. It was because Kyle came home earlier than before and was in the office more often. I waited for him in the mansion, not attending a single social gathering. It was also because I was afraid I¡¯d cause trouble to the family by accident. I never knew when Kyle would return home, so waiting for him had become my one pleasure in life. Above all, I didn¡¯t want to make Kyle nervous. If I showed my face to society, many people would likely approach me to get acquainted with the Duke. I didn¡¯t want to disturb him with anything. ¡°It¡¯s hot.¡± On such a leisurely afternoon, I was sitting in the garden and having a peaceful time. Advertisements Before we got married, my afternoons were busy helping with chores at the flower shop or sewing in a small room, relying on the sunlight streaming through the window. A trivial thing like leisurely embroidering, I knew my life had changed. I fanned my hands and looked up at the sky. Did I have to be greedy on a hot day? Laura must be feeling warm. I invited her several times to sit across from me, but she refused. Ah, Come to think of it. I looked up at the sudden thought. ¡°Laura, is there any correspondence from Viscount Carena?¡± ¡°Nothing arrived, Madam.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fortunate.¡± I smiled softly and nodded. After I informed my father and severed ties with him, I expected that he would keep calling me, but it¡¯s been quiet so far. Maybe he¡¯s trying to clean up his drunken and homeless life and live a better life. ¡°That would be a relief.¡± Laura must have realized I was talking to myself because she didn¡¯t answer. I shook off my thoughts and focused on embroidering on the practice handkerchief. I needed a gift to repay the favor of the Countess of Harden. I didn¡¯t know what to give her, so I decided to sew one for her. Kyle hasn¡¯t given his permission yet, but he knew that Countess Hari would be very upset if I refused. ¡°Ah.¡± The needle pierced the tip of my finger, and blood formed like dew. I was about to lick the wound out of habit, but Laura wrapped her handkerchief around the area where the blood had formed. I usually never bothered mending wounds and just left it to scar, but now that the environment and location had changed, so did the way of dealing with it. After the blood stopped, I smiled and pulled back the hand Laura was holding. ¡°Unlike simple sewing, embroidering is difficult.¡± ¡°I¡¯m here to help.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s fine. I have to do it myself to improve my skills.¡± Laura stepped back and said she¡¯ll be back with iced tea. Advertisements ¡°Alright,¡± I nodded and concentrated on my embroidery. Aelle. Embroidering my name was difficult. Could I embroider someone else¡¯s name? It was the first time I embroidered someone¡¯s name. I wish I could have sewed Kyle¡¯s name instead. But I couldn¡¯t dare embroider his name without permission. I wonder if he¡¯d even let me if I asked. And so, I chose my name instead. It¡¯s been a while. I could hear someone making their way through the lush grass in the distance¡ªLaura¡¯s back. I pulled the needle out of the fabric and tied the end of the thread. As I cut the excess thread, it fluttered down. I placed the needle on the table and removed the handkerchief from the embroidery hoop. I lifted the cloth to stare at my handiwork and clearly saw the crooked embroidery. Basic sewing and embroidery really were different. I smiled in embarrassment and tilted my head back. ¡°Laura, look at this. My name looks messy, doesn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± It wasn¡¯t Laura¡¯s voice. I narrowed my eyes and finally saw the figure blocked by the glare of the sunlight. ¡°Takan.¡± I straightened my head and turned around. Since I had limited movement from sitting in a chair, Takan shifted to the side to make it easier to see him. ¡°You were here.¡± Takan placed one hand on his chest and bowed politely. His hair fluttered like waves in the summer breeze. He looked up, his face not revealing anything. There was an unknown document in his hand. ¡°Please check the statement for the quarterly maintenance costs that must be submitted to His Grace because it appears to be incorrect.¡± Ah. I sighed and looked away. Takan handed me the document, but I didn¡¯t pick it up nor push it away. There was nothing to fix. ¡°I was only at home, so I had no use for it.¡± For a moment, Takan furrowed his brows before returning to his usual poker face. Still, when our eyes met, he looked curious. Was it a problem because I didn¡¯t want to waste the family¡¯s fortune? Or did Takan think I was embezzling funds? Normally, when nobles purchase items, they sign them under the family¡¯s name and have the statement sent to their mansion. You knew I couldn¡¯t embezzle funds because I didn¡¯t actually have any money in hand¡­ I didn¡¯t know why he was suspicious that I spent nothing. Oh, I¡¯ve heard that sometimes, whenever a noble wife purchases something for the sake of dignity, it will go into their possession, then when she files for divorce, she will give it to her relatives. They¡¯d purchase jewelry but put it as something else on the statement, or when it went over the budget, they¡¯d forego adding it on the statement altogether. And even if the receipt sent to the mansion differed from the written statement, nobles who wanted to save face would pay the price without much fuss. And the spending budget for the wife was maintained. Maybe Takan thought I had exceeded the budget and didn¡¯t write the details. Advertisements I looked at him without saying a word, and after a while, Takan stepped back. ¡°I see. Then I¡¯ll report it as is.¡± Just as he did when he appeared, Takan put his hand on his chest and bowed. He seemed to have come to a conclusion while contemplating how to explain the misunderstanding. However, rather than resolving the misunderstanding, he must have dropped it because he had no evidence. I nodded and pursed my lips. At times like this, the one who keeps their mouth shut won¡¯t raise any suspicion. With a sigh, my gaze involuntarily traveled to the sleeve of Takan¡¯s vest. The button on the edges of the sleeves was swaying as if they were about to fall off. ¡°Takan, the button¡­¡± He turned around as if he hadn¡¯t heard me. Then, while looking through the needles and threads, I casually said, ¡°Takan, can you take off your top?¡± Takan flinched and trembled as if he had heard a gunshot from the forest. A few moments later, his body creaked like a wooden doll. ¡°What¡­¡± His eyes twitched, and he looked agitated. If I read his expression correctly, it was a look of shame and contempt. After a while, as if he had finished grasping the situation, Tarkan sharply raised his scarred eyebrows. ¡°If His Grace finds out about this, he¡¯ll be angry, so please be careful,¡± Takan gritted. What? His words had me speechless. I was so flustered, I stuttered, ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant.¡± He just wrinkled his face at my answer. So, I took a breath to calm myself and said, ¡°The button on your sleeve is about to fall off, and I wanted to mend it.¡± ¡°Madam will?¡± Takan turned his face and listened. Suspicious eyes roamed to the thread and needle on the table, the handkerchief in my hand, and finally, my face. Takan wiped the back of his neck with her hand and looked away. ¡°Please tell me clearly so I won¡¯t misunderstand.¡± Seeing the back of his neck and the tips of his ears flush red, I had to hold in my laughter. Takan glanced at his sleeve and shook his head. ¡°I can¡¯t leave this to Madam.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no time. Hurry up before Laura comes,¡± I ignored what he said and passed the thread to the eye of the needle. Just as I was embroidering and doubting my sewing skills, the perfect prey appeared. I could hear his sigh. He took off his top and handed it to me, and I detached the button from the sleeve and sewed it back on. CH 12 ¡°All done.¡± I pulled the needle out, tied the thread, and ripped it off by hand. ¡°Hmm, as expected.¡± I shook my head and grinned. If I practiced more embroidery, my skills would improve. I showed him the sleeve. ¡°What do you think?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Takan?¡± He was looking at my fingertips and didn¡¯t look away. What was he looking at? I knew that the scene of the Duchess sewing wasn¡¯t strange. He had a faraway look in his eyes, looking lost in thought. With a smirk, Takan shifted his gaze from her hand. ¡°Thank you.¡± As I held out his clothes, Takan took them and draped them over his arm. Standing like that made him look like a butler. He stared intently at the handkerchief on the table. I was embarrassed to show it to others because of my poor skills, so I tucked the cloth into the corner of the tool basket to hide it. Advertisements ¡°Are you going to throw it away?¡± ¡°Yes. I was practicing. I¡¯m going to throw it away because the embroidery is a mess.¡± ¡°Then give it to me.¡± I stared at Takan in disbelief. Was he really asking for a poorly embroidered handkerchief? Takan shook his head. ¡°It looks like something I¡¯ve lost.¡± It¡¯s the most subdued I¡¯d seen him. I didn¡¯t know if what he¡¯d lost was a thing or a person. I scratched my cheek. What should I do? It¡¯s too embarrassing to give it to someone else. I stared at Takan and the handkerchief alternately. ¡°It must have been precious.¡± ¡°Incredibly so.¡± Hearing Takan¡¯s trembling voice made me feel weak. I rubbed the fabric with my thumb and nodded. Yes, it¡¯s better to give it to someone who needed it than throw it away. I folded it neatly and handed it to Takan. After hesitating, he took it with both hands, handling it with much care. I kept my mouth shut because the way he reacted made it clear that it wasn¡¯t the handkerchief that moved him. At that moment, I heard familiar footsteps. When Takan clenched his fist, his hand engulfed the handkerchief, hiding it from sight. It was none other than Laura who showed up after passing the main gate of the garden. ¡°Madam.¡± She quickened her pace when she spotted me. As Laura came nearer, she finally saw Takan, who was obscured by a tree. Laura stopped in her tracks, startled, before continuing to make her way to us. ¡°Laura.¡± Laura stared at Takan and whispered, ¡°Madam, His Grace has returned.¡± When Laura finished speaking, Takan stepped back. ¡°I¡¯ll clean. Go.¡± ¡°No, I¨C¡± ¡°Escort Madam, Laura.¡± Laura wanted to argue, but Takan was firm. It would be ideal for the butler, Takan, to greet Kyle with me, but Takan left his duties to Laura. ¡°But¡­¡± Laura tried once more to stop Takan but thought against it, probably thinking she didn¡¯t want to cause trouble. ¡°Then, we¡¯ll be on our way.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll leave you to it, Takan,¡± I said, and he bowed without answering. Takan only straightened after Aelle had completely left the garden. He turned his gaze to the handkerchief Aelle had given him. D*mn it. Aelle¡¯s handkerchief reminded him of the moment his little sister died on the battlefield. He recalled the image of his sister, now blurry in his mind¨Ca scene of his kind little sister opening the door, greeting him with a bright and kind smile. Advertisements ¡®Big brother!¡¯ As Takan clenched his teeth, his jaw muscles stood out. He had already forgotten his sister¡¯s face, but why was the moment she was cut by a sword still so vivid in his head? He even recalled the moment the blood started to soak her dress. ¡°Sh*t,¡± he hissed. Aelle Carena. What a weird woman. Even before he confronted Aelle, Takan was displeased with her. He¡¯s never had a good impression of nobles in the first place.* But she was different from any aristocrat he¡¯d imagined. He thought she would be arrogant and extravagant, abusing the power she¡¯d gained so easily after raising her status. He thought the maids serving her would suffer. However, the lady missed Takan¡¯s expectations. She always used honorifics to her maids and was always careful when she asked for something she needed. At first, Takan thought she was acting. He sneered at her because he felt she pretended to be a virtuous and compassionate woman. He also considered that her mercy towards Lil and Mas was a way to cover up her snobbish side. He had no doubt that she was hiding her insidious innermost thoughts and was scheming something evil. But no matter how much he stupidly watched Aelle, she didn¡¯t do anything. And that wasn¡¯t the end of it. Laura¡¯s statement was ridiculous. She said that the only thing Aelle had bought since she entered the household were cheap handkerchiefs. She was too quiet and calm to be considered a spy*. Kyle did once mention that before they¡¯d gotten married, she¡¯d only ever go to the florist, the boutique, and at home. After spending that one night with Kyle, she was unexpectedly quiet, contrary to Takan¡¯s expectations that she¡¯d usurp his authority. These days, Aelle has been spending all day idly reading a book or embroidering. Her words and actions didn¡¯t make sense to Takan. Takan draped his shirt over the armchair and unfolded the handkerchief. At the bottom of the cloth, the name ¡®Aelle¡¯ was embroidered with yellow thread. ¡°Why would you sew all of a sudden?¡± Takan hated seeing her sewing all over the house. It reminded him so much of his sister, who had sewed for a living. She had a gentle voice that made him think of his younger sister, and Takan couldn¡¯t help but feel sad whenever he looked at her. Even the way she looked out the window and waited for someone reminded him of his sister. Of course, it wasn¡¯t his sister who was waiting. ¡°Aelle.¡± He grazed the embroidered name. He thought money was the main purpose, but if that wasn¡¯t the case, why did she really marry Kyle? Takan frowned and tried to ignore the situation. ¡°There¡¯s no need to know the story of a good aristocrat.¡± For a long time after that, Takan didn¡¯t leave the garden. The servants stood in a row, bowing when Kyle arrived. I stood on the side and greeted him, still conflicted whether I should greet him as a servant or an equal. ¡°You¡¯re here.¡± Hearing my soft voice, his gaze briefly rested on me. Kyle took off his gloves and handed them to the servant. His eyes, resembling the dawn sky, swept around. ¡°Where¡¯s Takan?¡± ¡°He¡¯s in the garden. He said he¡¯d see you once he¡¯s done cleaning up,¡± Laura said. Takan was taking longer than expected. He didn¡¯t even have much to sort out. As I thought that, I heard Kyle speak. Advertisements ¡°If you haven¡¯t had dinner yet, let¡¯s have one together.¡± Who was he asking? I could feel an intense gaze on me, the feeling hotter than the sun in the garden a while ago. I looked around and could see Laura¡¯s puzzled look. The employees also avoided my gaze. Slowly, I turned to Kyle and saw him looking at me with his arms crossed. Ah, was there someone behind me? ¡°There¡¯s no need to look behind you. I¡¯m talking to you,¡± Kyle chuckled as if he found my reaction absurd. I closed my eyes and straightened. It was the first time he spoke to me, so I didn¡¯t know what to do. As time passed and I still hadn¡¯t answered, Kyle turned around, probably taking my silence as rejection. ¡°I-I¡¯d like that!¡± I was worried that Kyle might not be able to hear me, so I hurriedly raised my voice. When was the last time I¡¯d done that? It¡¯s been so long I couldn¡¯t even remember. The employees still bowing stole glances at me, and Laura stared at me with wide eyes, but I didn¡¯t mind it. It was an opportunity that might not come again. I anxiously gripped my hands, wondering if he¡¯d changed his mind. Kyle¡¯s eyes shifted to my hands. As the sunset shone through the window into Kyle¡¯s eyes, his gray took on a pale red hue. ¡°Then let¡¯s go together,¡± he said. CH 13 Advertisements I couldn¡¯t believe I was about to have a meal with Kyle. I felt that I would be full even if I stopped eating for a month. I never imagined I¡¯d eat face-to-face with him. In the first place, he refused to meet me. He didn¡¯t even hold a wedding reception, which raised questions from busybodies. But what¡¯s this current situation? Perhaps because I was with Kyle, the dining table that could easily accommodate eight felt cramped every time the employees¡¯ hands grazed the table. There were mouth-watering dishes and shiny silverware on the table, and a new candelabra adorned the center of the table. When Takan returned from the garden and glanced at the servant, the servant poured wine into the glass. After a while, all of the employees, including Tarkan, rushed out of the room at Kyle¡¯s beckoning. Laura, who looked at me with worried eyes, left along with them. We¡¯d been sitting at the dining table for a long time but still hadn¡¯t touched the dishes. For some reason, Kyle¡¯s hands did not come up on the table. Instead, he just stared at me contemplatively. Would I be able to get closer to him this time? I didn¡¯t know what to say. What kind of expression should I make? Why did he ask me to eat with him? How could I talk to him? I felt like my head was going to explode. Advertisements When I was alone, I thought about what to say to him several times a day, but it was difficult to act when the opportunity finally came. ¡°You.¡± I looked up when I heard the familiar voice. Kyle was resting his chin on his hand and tapping his temple with his middle finger as if he was bored. I tried to think hard but couldn¡¯t understand why he was looking at me so fiercely. His gray eyes illuminated by the candlelight gleamed red. Was there something on my face? I used my hair to cover my face and discreetly tried to feel if there was anything stuck on it. There wasn¡¯t. When I swept my hair away from my face, I briefly saw Kyle scowling before his face turned blank again. Kyle looked away and said, ¡°If you need money, don¡¯t waste time and tell me yourself.¡± His words were rough yet razor-sharp. My heart sank. ¡°What do you mean?¡± The report was still pending, but how did he know? Takan had just come to me to raise questions and clarifications. Kyle thought I married him for money, but since I haven¡¯t spent anything, he would expectedly find me suspicious. So I had to repeat the explanation I gave to Tarkan. ¡°I had nothing to spend on.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you have anything to entertain you?¡± There was only one answer to that sarcastic question. I¡¯m waiting for you. I couldn¡¯t bear to say that, so I kept quiet. He always had snake-like eyes that peered into my lungs, but he didn¡¯t know my heart. The kind of interest he showed me was quite different from mine. Advertisements Kyle picked up the wine glass and swirled it before taking a sip. I wanted to close the distance between us through this dinner. But, what did I expect? Just because we spent the night together didn¡¯t mean it would clear up misunderstandings about me, and his heart would turn to me. I chewed on my lip and said, ¡°If you¡¯re concerned about me interacting with my father, you don¡¯t have to worry. I don¡¯t want to have a relationship with him anymore.¡± ¡°Viscount Carena seems to think differently.¡± Kyle lowered his glass and looked away, staring at the tableware and food. ¡°What are you talking about¡­¡± ¡°He said he¡¯s starting a business.¡± My eyes widened. ¡°Business?¡± ¡°I sponsored Viscount Carena in the name of the Harace family, but it wasn¡¯t enough to start a business. He must have a reason to think he could.¡± I sighed. I hadn¡¯t heard Takan¡¯s report. He must have thought I was plotting something with Father. When I informed Father I was cutting ties with him, I expected him to react violently because I was his only source of income. But, instead, he sent me away without a fuss and didn¡¯t hold onto me until the moment I left. Father sent me away because he was convinced that support would continue. He believed his daughter, who had gained power, would take care of him. He probably thought I wouldn¡¯t be able to turn a blind eye the way I did when I was taking care of him. I shouldn¡¯t have been complacent. I swallowed the remorse I felt and bit my lips. Advertisements Sharp gray eyes were trained on me. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to look suspicious, make sure to clear it up. Because that would be the way to get the sanctuary you want.¡± I clenched my fists and bowed my head. I¡¯ve resented Father, but never have I felt this much shame. ¡°Yes, I understand.¡± For the first time in my life, Father humiliated me, and I was too ashamed to face Kyle. So why did I have a Father like him and keep getting smaller in front of my loved ones? Upon hearing my answer, Kyle stood up. Then, just before leaving the dining room, he stopped and turned to me. ¡°I will allow you to visit the Countess of Harden.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Come back and report everything.¡± I listened as Kyle¡¯s footsteps exited the room. My eyes twitched, and then tears fell on the tablecloth. Then, after a while, I heard someone speak. ¡°Would you like to continue eating?¡± Takan asked. I responded by shaking my head. ¡°Laura, send this letter to Viscount Carena.¡± I handed Laura the red envelope, and she accepted it with ease. The letter contained a plea to give up the idea of starting a business and never to contact her again. Or else. As if my father was in the air, I resolutely raised my gaze. I had no choice but to threaten to take the money given to him. It¡¯s probably what he feared the most. ¡°I¡¯ll take my leave.¡± ¡°Good work.¡± Laura left the room, and I sat down by the table to continue embroidering. As I sewed the name ¡®Hari¡¯ on the handkerchief, my curiosity about what kind of person she was grew. Our meeting was fast approaching, and I had to complete her gift before then. ¡°I want to embroider his name in the future.¡± With that in mind, I put down my handkerchief and needle, got up, and headed for the terrace. Soon it was time for Kyle to arrive at the mansion. My eyes widened at the familiar carriage I caught a glimpse of. ¡°You¡¯re back.¡± I smiled. A carriage with the Duke¡¯s emblem was traversing the front garden and heading towards the mansion. I¡¯d watch him get off the carriage and hurry to meet him at the main gate. With that thought in mind, I put my elbows on the railing and rested my chin. Soon after, her carriage stopped, and the coachman got off his horse and opened the door. Advertisements Kyle slowly got off the carriage and looked around the mansion. The servants waiting for him would probably greet him. As I have always watched him, I expected his next move. ¡°You¡¯ll nod your head to say hello and enter the mansion.¡± Then, seeing him nod his head, I smiled contentedly and pulled myself off the railing. ¡°Got it right.¡± At that moment, Kyle, who was staring straight ahead, looked up and stared at exactly where I was. I blinked my eyes in surprise and turned around. Maybe it¡¯s just a coincidence. After a while, Kyle turned back to the direction he was going. ¡°Why¡­¡± As expected, Kyle¡¯s gaze was directed at me. For a moment, our eyes met before his gaze fell. Soon, Kyle¡¯s aide got out of the carriage and they entered the mansion. It was the first time he had looked up at me. My lips turned up as I felt as if a feather was tickling my heart. ¡°This is not the time.¡± I had to meet him. I picked up the hem of my dress and hurried to the bedroom door. ¡°Madam¡­!¡± Laura, who came to report Kyle¡¯s return home, stepped aside in surprise. I gave her an apologetic look, then passed the hall on the second floor and went downstairs. I could see the surprised faces of the employees, but I didn¡¯t care and walked on. By the time I reached the first floor, Kyle and his aide passed the employees. They headed for the hall leading to the annex, not the first-floor hall. Unfortunately, I missed the timing to say hello. I looked closely at their backs and put my hands together to greet Kyle. I purposely strode in a way my shoes would make a sound, and they¡¯d hear me. Just like that, I caught up with Kyle. CH 14 Advertisements ¡°Your Grace, let¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°Your Grace, many people are curious about the elusive Duchess.¡± At the sudden voice, I stopped. Kyle, with his face turned, looked straight again. Gray eyes gazed briefly at me. ¡°I, anyway, Your Grace,¡± the aide following Kyle closely stuttered. ¡°I suggest you socialize with your wife¨C¡± At that moment, Kyle stopped walking, effectively cutting off the aide. Then, he burst into laughter as if finding the aide¡¯s comment absurd. ¡°Hmm.¡± Kyle tilted his head and said flatly, ¡°What do you think?¡± Kyle turned and took off his gloves as slowly as a reptile shed its skin and held it in one hand. His aide looked at me and gasped in surprise. He quickly bowed his head and said, ¡°Forgive me for the late greeting. I am Viscount Aden, vassal and aide of His Grace, Duke Harace.¡± ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you, Viscount Aden.¡± I looked away. I was now being greeted according to my position. ¡°So, what¡¯s your answer?¡± Unintentionally, I turned to the sound of the voice and met Kyle¡¯s cool stare. I had to look away again. His overbearing gaze was enough of an answer. That¡¯s a relief. I¡¯ve been reluctant to go outside. He would definitely question my intentions. After all, I was meeting the Countess soon, and he warned me to keep my mouth shut and be careful. I put my hands together and raised my lips as if it was what I wanted. I had to make sure it didn¡¯t appear artificial to the aide. Advertisements ¡°I want to stay quiet.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m suited for social gatherings.¡± ¡°It can¡¯t be helped.¡± Kyle raised his eyebrows as if very satisfied and looked at the assistant, who took a deep breath and bowed. ¡°I understand, Madam. Then, I shall take my leave.¡± Once Viscount Aden reached the end of the hallway and was out of earshot, I said, ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll keep quiet in the future.¡± I looked down, afraid to see what kind of expression he had. But even if I didn¡¯t see it, I knew. From the first meeting until now, his eyes looking at me were dull with neither color nor brilliance. ¡°I will never reveal your feelings to her.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You have my word,¡± I muttered. I could feel his stare at the top of my head. Then, Kyle turned around. I waited for him to walk away, but he faltered after a few steps. ¡°One question.¡± Curious, I raised my head. It¡¯s been a long time since he¡¯d asked me a question. Kyle turned halfway around, his brows furrowed. Confusion shone in his gray eyes. ¡°Is it not enough?¡± ¡°What are you¡­¡± ¡°Why are there no records?¡± What was he talking about? As I pondered about it, I suddenly remembered. Ah, you¡¯re referring to my personal allowance. ¡°What the former Duchess left behind is enough.¡± Kyle scoffed. I could understand his exasperation; my words and actions seemed to contradict what I told him when we first met. ¡°Enough?¡± He didn¡¯t take his eyes off me as he rubbed his lips with his fingertips. His gray eyes gleamed like a beast observing its prey. I swallowed hard, nervous, but he turned back with a small smile. ¡°I¡¯ll call for the Madame at the boutique to visit so you can choose an outfit.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Advertisements ¡°You have to look like a believable duchess to Hari.¡± Soon the sound of the footsteps faded away, and I smiled bitterly and focused on the distant sound. ¡°Oh my gosh¡­¡± Madame covered her mouth with both hands, and her eyelashes trembled. The salon staff who came with Madame were also shocked and confused. They saw me with Kyle at the salon, but they probably would never have thought I¡¯d get married to him. ¡°Aelle¡­! No, no.¡± Madame came to her senses and bowed deeply. ¡°Thank you for calling me, Madam.¡± ¡°Madame, it¡¯s been a while.¡± Madame straightened and waved her hand, eyes wide. The fan in her hand swayed from side to side at her movement. ¡°A-are you using honorifics? Don¡¯t do that, Madam.¡± Her forehead was sweating, and she clearly looked uncomfortable. That¡¯s right, things have changed since then. It was still difficult to change how I treat the staff here at home, but I should at least be careful not to use honorifics to Madame, who¡¯s an outsider. Fortunately, Madame didn¡¯t think much of me for suddenly rising in status. Instead, she seemed to be thinking only about the benefits of our previous association. Her eyes twinkled with determination to fill her pockets with this. After knowing each other for a long time, Madame¡¯s thoughts were as clear as a mirror. I feigned ignorance and sheepishly smiled. ¡°Yes, I look forward to your kind cooperation.¡± ¡°Yes, Madam,¡± she said, bowing once more. When she straightened, the staff behind her hurriedly dragged the rack filled with hangers and displayed the clothes. Some employees also placed shoes under hangers. Madame stayed by my side to describe and promote the products on display. ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± she said, finished explaining all of the products. Madame approached the hanger and picked up the dress on display at the front with a confident face. The red dress was the most eye-catching among them. ¡°Madam, this is¨C¡± Madame, who was grinning at the dress, suddenly stiffened, looking embarrassed. She raised her eyebrows and glared fiercely at her staff before smiling once more. ¡°Haha, Madam, it¡¯s new,¡± she tried to laugh, but the good-natured Madame¡¯s smile looked forced. ¡°Give it to me.¡± As Laura approached her, Madame chewed on her lips and handed her the dress with an uneasy look. However, her signature smile was still on her face. I approached the oval full-length mirror and looked at the dress Laura brought. Madame hesitated for a moment before running to my side and saying, ¡°It looks good on you, Madam.¡± Advertisements Madame¡¯s dresses were always divided into two categories ¨C fancy or fancier. Apparently, the fabric used in the dress was also imported from a kingdom famous for its silk not long ago. I narrowed my eyes as I looked at the dress reflected in the mirror. ¡°Laura.¡± I handed her the dress. ¡°Madam, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Madame¡¯s voice slightly trembled. The dress had uneven stitching at the ends of the sleeves and the collar, and the threads were protruding from the finish. That wasn¡¯t the only thing. I gently rubbed the silk with my hand and let out a shallow sigh. Even the fabric was an imitation. The other ladies were seemingly ignorant enough to be deceived, but I, who¡¯s been sewing for a while, knew better. At Madame¡¯s salon, they usually make samples of the clothes they designed, examine the ladies¡¯ reactions, then produce the final product. Perhaps this was one of them. Judging by the look on her face, Madame knew it yet still gave it to me. When I handed the dress over to Laura, she quickly realized what it meant and took it to Madame. ¡°This dress is a sample.¡± Madame took the dress in trepidation and pushed her face into it as if to bury her face. I knew she was wondering how we noticed it. ¡°Ma-madam, this¨C¡± ¡°I guess Madam doesn¡¯t think I know.¡± I cut Madame off. I sighed and turned. ¡°As you know, I was in charge of sewing in the salon. So I know the fabric, the buttons, and even the thread.¡± A look of disappointment crossed Madame¡¯s face. Then she trembled as she gripped her dress until her hands turned white. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry.¡± Madame looked down before turning to the staff. One of her staff probably had a grudge against me. They probably remembered Aelle, who was once poor and helpless and acted impulsively. As if confirming my theory, one of the employees who previously looked sullen now looked anxious. CH 15 ¡°Madam¡­¡± Madame lowered her head. She probably knew she couldn¡¯t ask for another chance. She knew I was being generous by just reprimanding her and not doing anything else for insulting me. I sighed and shook my head resolutely. Honestly, I wanted to send her back without buying anything, but I had to choose something small at least because Kyle had sent her to me. Under the rack, I pointed to a pair of shoes that was exceptionally shiny. ¡°That one.¡± ¡°Yes, Madam.¡± Along with Laura¡¯s reply, Madame sighed in disappointment. ¡°It¡¯s finally tomorrow.¡± Maybe because it was the day before I visited Countess Harden, but I¡¯ve been having trouble sleeping. I sat up and looked around the bedroom, then placed my feet on the ground. Finally, after a long time sitting in such a daze, I saw the moonlit terrace. Advertisements ¡°Shall we go outside?¡± No, I shouldn¡¯t. I shook my head, got up, and headed towards the door. I might completely wake up if the cold wind hits me. If I feel sleepy while walking in the hallway, I can just go back to my room. I wore the robe draped over a chair and tied the ribbon around my waist with that in mind. I opened the bedroom door and made my way through the long hallway, relying on the lamp hanging on the wall. As I aimlessly walked, I arrived at the hall on the second floor. Just like my bedroom, the hall had a terrace overlooking the mansion¡¯s garden, but this terrace was much bigger than the one in my room. From what Laura told me, the Duchess often held social gatherings there. As I reached the end of the hall, the moonlight across the huge terrace shone through the hall. I wandered as if possessed by the moonlight and involuntarily looked away from the cold energy. The oval terrace window remained open. ¡°Your Grace?¡± Kyle was leaning against the railing of the terrace and staring at something. He was dressed in a white shirt that clung to his broad shoulders and lean body. He looked indifferent to dawn. Did he not hear my call? Kyle still had a faraway look in his eyes. I didn¡¯t know what he was looking at but judging by his frown, I knew it was bothering him. Who was he thinking of? Hari or Louis? It felt bittersweet that I couldn¡¯t see him after eating together and only see him from afar. I smiled and stared at him for a long time and only looked away when the chill reached my body. I didn¡¯t want to interrupt his time. So I turned around to return to the bedroom. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± At that moment, the sound of a voice stopped me in my tracks. When I turned in the direction the voice was coming from, I saw Kyle¡¯s cool expression. His gray eyes were more severe than the moon. Advertisements ¡°Your Grace.¡± Surprised, I reluctantly walked towards the terrace. As I approached the terrace, I paused for a moment before continuing. It felt like I was invading his space. I only stopped walking when I reached Kyle and looked up at him, whose back was against the moonlight. Unlike his usual clean look, his shirt was unbuttoned down to the middle of his chest. A faint smell of alcohol spread over him. ¡°I was walking because I couldn¡¯t sleep.¡± Kyle remained silent as he stared at me with gloomy eyes. I wasn¡¯t expecting an answer anyway, so I put my hands together after running it through my hair. I pressed my fingertips together. When I was with Kyle, there¡¯s a strange tension in my whole body. It was different from when I was with my father. With Kyle, I felt a heart-pounding excitement. Since I was interrupting Kyle¡¯s time, I knew it would be unreasonable to suggest a walk. But contrary to my thoughts, my mouth was already trembling as if I would pour out words right away. Instead, I chewed my lips and raised my head in determination. ¡°Your Grace.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, why don¡¯t we walk around the garden together?¡± My voice trembled as I trailed on. When I didn¡¯t hear a response, I nervously rambled on, ¡°Laura told me there¡¯s an artificial pond, but I haven¡¯t seen it yet. ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m curious, and Your Grace can¡¯t sleep, so let¡¯s go together¨C¡± ¡°I thought you had a good grasp of the subject.¡± My heart sank at the sound of his cool voice. ¡°Are we close enough to walk around the garden together?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Or could it be¡­¡± Kyle approached me slowly, his expression as severe as before. Even if he didn¡¯t speak, I could see his displeasure, his footsteps heavy and pointed. Kyle stopped at a close distance and stretched out a beautiful hand. Then, with his fingertips, he lifted the robe that covered my collarbone and said, ¡°Are you trying to replace her again tonight because it¡¯s lonely?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter to me.¡± Advertisements Kyle stared intently at my disheveled outfit. For a moment, he referred to the day when I became someone else because he wanted to hug her. He dismissed the sad, miserable, and lonely day as a fleeting moment of lust. I lowered my trembling eyelashes and held back tears. Kyle hated me anyway, so he would hate it if I showed tears like this. I swept my tongue through my teeth, the feeling in my mouth similar to when I drank strong liquor. I disturbed him with my useless rambling. I should apologize, but my lips refused to do it. I licked my lips several times, and then the tears that had been pooling in my eyes fell to my feet. Kyle glanced at me. ¡°Sorry,¡± I managed to croak out. The hand holding onto my robe flinched and soon moved away. I couldn¡¯t tell how he felt because I couldn¡¯t see his face, but he probably found it absurd. It was probably amazing to see me, a shameless woman, cry at his words. But I hugged you right away because I loved you. I couldn¡¯t even say that. I was afraid he might ask me to end the marriage. I put my hands together, bowed my head, and turned before I showed any more tears. Although it wasn¡¯t a bedroom, it was such a long-cherished time. Talking to him face to face on the terrace. I swallowed my tears as I comforted myself that my wish had come true. ¡°It¡¯s done.¡± Lils and Mas, who assisted in preparing me, stepped back and left me alone in front of the mirror. The dress came down, wrapping smoothly around the body line. I was finally going to see the Countess of Harden. I chose the most beautiful dresses left behind by the former Duchess and mended them every night for the past few days. Unfortunately, I couldn¡¯t get a dress from Madame, so that was the only way. Laura was shocked, but the result was satisfactory, so she didn¡¯t say anything else after I promised never to sew again. ¡°Is it okay?¡± As I blushed and smoothed down my dress, Laura shook her head and smiled softly. I turned around, holding the hem of the dress by hand, and stared at Lil and Mas. ¡°Lil, Mas, what do you think?¡± Lil and Mas stared at me in surprise. Why? Did I look weird? As I tilted my head, they hurriedly bowed their heads. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t think Madam would remember our names,¡± Lil stuttered, avoiding eye contact. Advertisements ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Their answers caught me off guard. Takan received Laura¡¯s report and gave them a pay cut, but Laura said they thought there would be additional punishment. Servants who insulted their masters were usually fired, and if rumors spread, it would be difficult for them to find a job. Some nobles even joke around that they prefer servants who have heavy mouths[1] and deaf ears to servants who couldn¡¯t work. Laura said I was too lenient. When I didn¡¯t say anything, Lil and Mars looked at me, the two of them looking terrified. Did they think I didn¡¯t fire them so I could harass them? Come to think of it, I heard that Lil was bullied out of her previous employers¡¯ house. It shocked me that it happened to her before she became an adult, and she only entered the Duchy recently. Somehow, she seemed to hate me from the moment she met me. Did she really just hate noblemen and not me? It wasn¡¯t my intention to harass them. I stretched my hand out to her, intending to pat her shoulder. ¡°Lil?¡± Before I could reach her, she flinched and closed her eyes. CH 16 ¡°Why are you avoiding Madam¡¯s hand, Lil?¡± Mas was quite surprised and pulled Lil¡¯s hand that was trembling. The sharp eyes that had shown resentment towards me when we first met were nowhere to be seen. As I approached Lil, Mas let go of her hand and backed away. ¡°Lil, don¡¯t be scared. Lil and Mas were already punished according to my standards, so I¡¯ve forgiven you,¡± I said softly, hoping to express that I had no intention of harassing them. Did she hear my words? Lil slowly raised her head. Lil¡¯s face was hard to read; I wasn¡¯t sure if she was about to cry. She came closer, biting her lips. Only then did my hand touch Lil¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Do I look okay? It doesn¡¯t look like something¡¯s missing, does it?¡± ¡°Yes, Madam.¡± On the way to the Harden residence, I had already asked more than ten questions, but Laura answered them all without showing any sign of annoyance. I bit my lips and fussed over my clothes. I didn¡¯t want to look shabby in front of the Countess of Harden. Perhaps because of the heavy mental burden, the tension did not disappear even when I took a deep breath and looked at the scenery passing like a painting through the carriage window. I should have taken etiquette classes. No, no. I¡¯d be fine if I acted like Lady Zeveren. I¡¯ve seen what she says and does. Advertisements Just as I was gathering my thoughts, the carriage gradually slowed down and stopped. Laura looked out her window and nodded to me. ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± Let¡¯s not make a mistake. The Countess was also Kyle¡¯s childhood friend. I took a deep breath and exhaled, then nodded at Laura. Ready. Laura opened the carriage door and stepped out, then reached out her hand to assist me. I got off the carriage slowly, leaning on Laura. When my feet touched the ground, and I looked up, I realized that the Countess had come to meet me. The Countess refused to marry again and stayed in her territory. Since no one was going to inherit the title of the Harden family[1], she said she would. When I heard about her decision, it depressed me more than before. As I passed the front door, I saw a woman waiting for me in the middle of the garden. Pink hair braided to the waist and pink eyes. My season was a humid summer, but her season was a lush spring with newly bloomed flowers. The Countess of Harden, the woman who would become the Count of Harden, gracefully made her way to me. She was completely different from me. The Countess was an aristocrat that exuded dignity and elegance, even from a distance. ¡°Duchess¡­!¡± Hari, who walked to the middle of the garden, ran to where I was and hugged me. I couldn¡¯t help but embrace her back at the sudden action. ¡°Madam.¡± I saw Laura running towards me over Hari¡¯s shoulder. I raised my hand to stop her. I awkwardly patted her back, but I didn¡¯t know how to deal with the situation since it was the first time I met her. After a while, Hari moved away from me and curtsied. ¡°It¡¯s an honor to meet you, Duchess.¡± Stepping back, I grabbed the hem of my dress and reciprocated her greeting. ¡°Thank you for inviting¨C¡± ¡°I was worried you would reject it since we had never met in person, but thank you for accepting it.¡± Hari suddenly took my hand. Could I skip the greeting? Laura frowned, and the look on her face was enough to confirm that Hari¡¯s behavior was unusual. Advertisements Without giving me a chance to formally greet her, Hari fussed over me. ¡°Oh my goodness, your dress is so pretty!¡± I finally had a chance to speak. I smoothed down my dress and said, ¡°Oh, this is¨C¡± ¡°Oh no, the sun is strong. Come in,¡± Hari cut me off as she tried to cover me from the sun with her hands. ¡°Ah¡­¡± Hari grabbed my hand and led me to the mansion. In the end, I couldn¡¯t say a word I had prepared the day before, but I was more surprised than offended. She was so different from what I expected. Maybe it¡¯s because I only remember the Hari I saw at the funeral. I thought she was quiet and calm, but it was the opposite. She was like a clumsy aristocrat who grew up in a wealthy family; one often satirized in Imperial plays. On the other hand, her mind seemed unstable like a wooden doll that was not assembled correctly.* It¡¯s been half a year since Count Louis Harden¡¯s funeral, so it must have been painful. Thinking of her heart made me uncomfortable. ¡°Welcome to the Harden Mansion, Madam.¡± That¡¯s how I entered the mansion. The mansion¡¯s interior was not much different from the Duke¡¯s, except that the employees gathered to greet me. Maybe it¡¯s because I¡¯ve gotten used to the duchy. In the past, I would have ooh-ed and aah-ed at the mansion, but not now. Hari talked the whole way. First, she asked what I wanted to eat and then mentioned it was stunning when the moonlight came into the window at night. On the other hand, I was not used to this kind of situation and just laughed awkwardly. ¡°Sit comfortably.¡± We arrived at the drawing room, and I sat on a chair the staff pulled out for me. The Countess rested her chin on her interlaced hands. Then, she looked at me with curious, innocent eyes for a long time. A moment later, the maids brought tea and said, ¡°Madam, this is a floral tea from abroad.¡± Only then did Hari¡¯s gaze slip into the teacup. Advertisements I looked at Hari, who was drinking tea and gestured to Laura. Laura brought the box I gave her and handed it to Hari. ¡°It¡¯s simple, but I couldn¡¯t come empty-handed, so I prepared it.¡± ¡°Laura.¡± Tilting her head, Hari put down the teacup and picked up the box. Her eyes widened when she opened it. ¡°Oh my gosh.¡± Hari pulled out the handkerchief from the box, and her eyes went straight to where I had embroidered her name. ¡°What amazing workmanship, Madam.¡± I smiled modestly, sweeping my forearm with one hand. ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± ¡°Madam is humble. Thank you. Did Kyle tell you? That I like embroidery.¡± Hari paused to give me time to answer, but I stayed silent. No. Kyle never told me stories about you. And I didn¡¯t want to know either. Instead of answering, I just smiled bitterly. Hari folded the handkerchief and placed it on the table. Fortunately, she looked pleased as she stroked the cloth. ¡°You don¡¯t know how surprised I was that Kyle got married.¡± Kyle. It sounded strange to hear his name from her lips. ¡°I was so surprised at the salon. I told him to let me know if he met anyone, but he hid it completely.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°How could he go out with such a beautiful person in secret? I¡¯m hurt.¡± The words Hari spoke conveyed her concern for my feelings, but it only made me feel worse. The reason was simple. It was because she knew things about Kyle that I didn¡¯t. Did my smile look too forced? Hari suddenly covered her mouth with her hands. ¡°Ah, I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ve been talking too much about myself.¡± Smiling, Hari looked away and said, ¡°I was wondering who married Kyle, so it was nice to meet you like this. More than anything¡­¡± She blinked rapidly to hide her tears but failed. ¡°I guess I was overjoyed because you were the first person who didn¡¯t pity me.¡± Hari, who wiped her tears with the back of her hand, looked up. What should I say? No matter what I said, I wouldn¡¯t dare console her pain. But, no, to be honest, I was relieved that she still hasn¡¯t forgotten Count Louis. To hide my dark heart, I silently pushed the handkerchief lying on the table to Hari. ¡°Thank you.¡± Unaware of my feelings, Hari smiled innocently and picked up the handkerchief. While Hari wiped away her tears, I looked around the drawing room, and a vase with beautiful, colorful flowers by the window caught my eye. ¡°Oh, Kyle came and gave it to me a while ago.¡± ¡°His Grace did?¡± At my comment, Hari¡¯s eyes widened, maybe because the way I addressed Kyle seemed distant. Hari opened her mouth, leaving her surprised feelings behind. She seemed to have judged that his visit could be misleading. ¡°I told him to come with Madam, but he said you don¡¯t like the sun.¡± Suddenly, the meaning of her words sank in. ¡®Oh no, the sun is strong. Come in.¡¯ Oh, so that¡¯s why you said that. Hari chuckled. The sight of her wet eyelashes drooping down was so lovely that I wanted to hug her. I looked down at my outfit. I didn¡¯t want to look shabby in front of her, but I was already shabby the moment I had such a thought. [1] Nobles, specifically the British and French, inherit titles by the rules of primogeniture, where the eldest male son of the current head (e.g. Duke, Viscount, Count) inherits the estate and title. If the current head doesn¡¯t have a male heir, the closest male relative inherits the title. Women rarely inherit the title, and usually, if they do, it is granted by the Crown. *I¡¯m not sure about this whole paragraph. If any reader knows Korean, can you confirm if I got the gist of it? ¡°? ??? ??? ????, ?? ???? ???? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?? ???. ????? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ???? ???? ??.¡± CH 17 Even if I changed how I looked, the essence didn¡¯t change. Besides, I couldn¡¯t even be compared to her because we were completely different. Even if I changed the superficial things, I could never be someone else, and even if I was with Kyle, I wasn¡¯t with him. I stared at her hand, not a single scar in sight. It was different from my rough, scarred hands. ¡°Can I visit the duchy next time?¡± Hari looked into my eyes and asked. It was probably to check I wasn¡¯t offended. I clenched my fists and nodded. ¡°Yes, I¡¯ll think about it.¡± I didn¡¯t want to say it. Besides, I bet she didn¡¯t need my permission to visit the duchy. I thought of Hari while listening to the sound of the horses galloping outside the carriage. She smiled a lot and was kind. Her skin was fair and smooth, and she was talkative but lovely. Above all, her hands were beautiful. I glanced at my hand. Since I was young, I have done a lot of rough things, so I had many small and ragged scars. ¡°Laura, I think my hands are ugly compared to Countess Harden¡¯s.¡± Advertisements Laura didn¡¯t answer, but it was probably because she realized I was talking to myself. I¡¯d rather not see Hari or get to know her. In the end, I had no choice but to admit that fact even if I didn¡¯t want to admit why Kyle loved Hari. Ugly inferiority complex and jealousy erupted in me like a volcano. ¡®I told him to come with Madam, but he said you don¡¯t like the sun.¡¯ Kyle knew that I liked to walk in the sun. That I liked the dazzling light that illuminates the surface of the water. When she said that, I thought I should stop liking it. I felt like I had to do that to prove Kyle¡¯s words. I could argue that no one knew me as well as him. It was easier to change me than to let them know. I curled my lips and frowned at the sun stinging my eyes. ¡°Laura, will you close the curtains?¡± Laura pulled back the curtains of the carriage without saying a word, as if she had understood my intentions. Kyle listened briefly to Aelle¡¯s report before sending her up to her room. She was looking kind of lost, and she looked like she needed a break. Laura did the rest of the report on her behalf. Kyle looked out the window of his office and asked, ¡°What kind of conversation did they have?¡± ¡°They talked about the handkerchief she gave her and their daily life. And¡­¡± Kyle looked up in boredom when Laura hesitated to answer. Kyle didn¡¯t rush her, but Laura rushed, ¡°She said that the Countess¡¯s hands are beautiful.¡± ¡°Hands?¡± He furrowed one eyebrow. Laura looked at Kyle to see his reaction but didn¡¯t respond. Instead, she remembered Aelle¡¯s pitiful eyes and slowly closed her eyes. It broke her heart to see Madam¡¯s eyes always wet with heartbreak and melancholy. Laura thought maybe Aelle could fill Kyle¡¯s empty heart. But she was wrong. Her heart was being gnawed by being with Kyle. Laura bowed her head with a gloomy face. ¡°Your Grace, would you dare give me a chance to speak up?¡± When Kyle nodded, Laura said, ¡°Can¡¯t you please open your heart to Madam? Madam is¡­¡± ¡°Laura.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Advertisements ¡°If you¡¯re going to say something useless, leave.¡± Kyle dismissed Laura¡¯s words without hesitation. ¡°I¡¯ll take my leave.¡± Laura bowed and stepped back. Click¨C Kyle heard the sound of the closing door, and soon enough, he was alone in the empty office. He looked at the letter on the side of the desk. For some time now, he has had his servants around Hari to protect her. Unfortunately, Hari¡¯s psychological state had been unstable after losing Louis, and he wanted to look out for her. He also had his people report any dangerous situations Hari could be in. According to today¡¯s report, Hari was no different from usual. So it must mean that Aelle didn¡¯t open her mouth. Kyle stared at the candlelight in the corner of the desk. When he placed the end of the letter by the light, the paper quickly burned to ashes. ¡®There was no sign of spending at all.¡¯ As Kyle saw the ashes falling on the desk, he recalled Takan¡¯s voice. Ha. Kyle scoffed and rubbed his lower jaw with his hands. Kyle didn¡¯t think Aelle had married him simply to get away from his father. So, he monitored Aelle through the employees. After some time, Aelle wanted to meet with Hari, and although it was risky, he allowed her to visit her. He wanted to test Aelle. But perhaps she realized his intentions. Contrary to expectations, Aelle did nothing. There was no interaction with Viscount Carena either. There were no traces of correspondence and no reports of her leaving the duchy, so there was no way they could communicate. Kyle nervously ruffled his hair. ¡°Aelle Carena.¡± What kind of person was she? After getting married, Kyle deliberately did not return to the mansion to give her room to act as if no one was watching. He thought of gathering evidence and using it as an excuse to intimidate her. However, she didn¡¯t indulge in extravagant things, didn¡¯t disturb the mansion, or put the family in trouble by entering society. Advertisements The woman he met was nowhere to be found, and neither was the courage and boldness when she proposed the contract. Instead, she always took a step back, was careful of other people¡¯s moods, and made sure not to act in a way that wouldn¡¯t catch his eye. Kyle recalled the day he slept with her. He was thinking of Louis, and in his distress, he drank too much. The image of Louis haunted him the whole day, and so he gladly accepted her offer to use her. He used her as she used him. That was all it was¨Ca simple way to relieve lust. After spending the night together, she was quiet, contrary to his expectation that she would hold it against him. No, the only difference was that she started waiting for him. Whether it only happened recently or it¡¯s something new, she seemed used to waiting. Kyle recalled Aelle standing by the window and staring at him. She seemed startled when their eyes met. A pitiful physique. Sad eyes and a gloomy atmosphere. ¡®Are you trying to replace her again tonight because it¡¯s lonely?¡¯ ¡®Sorry.¡¯ Her crying face. Kyle didn¡¯t know why she was apologizing or why she was crying, but he couldn¡¯t take his eyes off her. Her wounded eyes trembled as tears soon dropped. Frozen in place, he stared at her as she left. She wasn¡¯t smiling, her face devoid of emotion. No, she never smiled in front of him in the first place. Kyle couldn¡¯t think of anything else after that day because Aelle¡¯s crying face was branded in his mind. ¡°D*mn it,¡± Kyle cursed and rubbed his face in frustration. If the tears she¡¯d shown Kyle were intentional, then her calculations were correct. Since that day, her crying face has not been erased from his mind. ¡°Madam, you don¡¯t look well. Are you alright?¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I tried to smile. Hari frowned and asked again, ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re alright?¡± ¡°I am.¡± Advertisements It wasn¡¯t until I answered twice that her interest waned. How long has it been since we first met? At least I knew that autumn was coming. As expected, Hari didn¡¯t need my permission to visit the duchy. Since then, she has visited the mansion as if to soothe her loneliness and try to befriend me. She called me by my name easily, and Kyle¡¯s name even more. Unfortunately, I had to witness how Kyle was with Hari. Did he think I was going to harm her? Or was he afraid that I would reveal his heart? On the day Hari visited the mansion, Kyle stayed by her side as if to protect her. It was a funny sight. Kyle and Hari, who enjoyed the afternoon in the garden, and I, the interloper who had no idea what they were talking about. Even Laura and Takan were too embarrassed to watch the scene. How out of place did I look between them? They mostly talked about Kyle and the past I didn¡¯t know. The pain between feeling alienated and jealousy continued for a day or two, but my fluctuating emotions did not change. Hari picked up a teacup and suggested. CH 18 ¡°Aelle, drink some hot tea.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± I took a teacup at Hari¡¯s suggestion but never drank it. At that moment, Hari pointed at the empty flower bed and grinned. ¡°We¡¯ll have to plant flowers there. It used to have cosmos.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Okay, let¡¯s plant them now.¡± When Hari ordered Takan to call a gardener, he looked back at Laura. Laura took a step back and disappeared to call the gardener. Hari tapped Kyle¡¯s forearm and said, ¡°Kyle, let¡¯s plant cosmos. We¡¯ll see them next year.¡± ¡°Alright.¡± Kyle eyed the flower bed with disinterest. Hari pouted, seemingly disappointed in his lukewarm reaction. ¡°Don¡¯t you remember? Louis¡­¡± Hari abruptly stopped and gasped. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have brought it up.¡± She forced out a laugh. Kyle and I held our breath at the sound. Advertisements Kyle sighed and rubbed his eyes. After a while, his hand moved to Hari¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Hari.¡± I had to look up at the sky to pretend I couldn¡¯t see them. Takan¡¯s forced laughter from behind me drifted in the wind. ¡°I¡¯m fine, Kyle.¡± Hari looked away and shook off Kyle¡¯s hand. Then, her eyes fell on me. ¡°Aelle, are you alright?¡± ¡°Of course. There¡¯s nothing wrong,¡± I nodded nonchalantly, maintaining a lukewarm attitude. ¡°Really¡­?¡± Hari¡¯s eyes widened for a moment before narrowing. Kyle¡¯s attitude and reaction to the situation made us unlike any other couple. We¡¯d get caught like this. I was aware of it, but I didn¡¯t want to do anything because I was bored and lethargic. Kyle¡¯s gray eyes slowly turned towards me. At first glance, he looked like he frowned or clicked his tongue. Kyle got up from his seat and reached out to her. ¡°Let¡¯s get going.¡± ¡°Already?¡± Harry tilted her head suspiciously and stood up, squinting at me. ¡°Yes, autumn is approaching, so the wind is getting cooler.¡± I was thinking about my unhealthy physical condition. Yes, I¡¯d rather stay away from them. It would be better to sleep alone in a bedroom than see them. Thinking so, I got up. ¡°Ah¡­!¡± I gripped the table as I stumbled. I closed my eyes, anticipating the pain that would hit me as my body tilted and my vision shook. But then someone caught me. ¡°Takan?¡± Leaning into him as he kept my balance, I looked up and saw him. He, who had always kept a straight face, clenched his teeth as if suppressing his emotions. I was probably bothering him, so I straightened and moved away. ¡°Thank you.¡± Advertisements Takan¡¯s fingertips brushed against my skin before it fell. Maybe I did something wrong. Kyle was staring intently at the place Takan had touched. Anyway, he looked away soon enough, and I shrugged it off as nothing and went off to organize my thoughts. ¡°I brought the gardener.¡± Meanwhile, Laura guided the gardener to them. A neatly dressed, white-haired old man bowed. The gardener¡¯s eyes were about to turn to Hari, then caught himself and turned to me. As the gardener lowered his gaze, the wrinkles in his eyes became more evident. ¡°What should I do with the flowers in the flower bed?¡± Harry clapped her hands and smiled broadly. ¡°I like cosmos.¡± ¡°Sunflowers would be good too,¡± I spoke at the same time, but no one listened to me. I wasn¡¯t disappointed because I didn¡¯t want anyone to hear it anyway. With that in mind, I looked around and briefly met Kyle¡¯s eyes. ¡°Let¡¯s go with cosmos,¡± he finally spoke. At noon, a butterfly caught my eye while I was reading a book at the gazebo. As I followed the white butterfly, I met Laura¡¯s eyes. Laura, who was looking at me worriedly, jumped in surprise when we made eye contact. She sighed as she stared at me. ¡°Are you alright?¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± Laura looked around to make sure no one else was there, then said, ¡°If you wish, I can say Madam¡¯s health is not well¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine, Laura.¡± I cut her off and shook my head. I¡¯m used to it now, to the employees seeing my humiliation and to Kyle¡¯s affectionate attitude toward Hari. Sometimes, I felt vicariously satisfied. Ah, so that cold-hearted person could make a face like that. Then, as I continued to stare at him, our eyes met, and his gray eyes completely cooled down. When I smiled bitterly, Laura bit her lip as if it were her job. At that moment, I heard a buzz. ¡°The Countess has arrived.¡± When I turned to the voice, I spotted Takan standing by the entrance to the gazebo, his hand on his chest and his head bowed. I was too concentrated on reading that I had forgotten it was time for Hari to arrive. I handed Laura the book and rushed to meet Hari. As I passed Takan, he started following closely after me. Hesitating for a moment, he asked, ¡°Do you like flowers?¡± I stopped walking and looked back at Takan. Flowers? Takan, who quickly noticed my confusion, licked his lips and said, ¡°Other flowers in the flower bed, I can order¨C¡± Advertisements Surprised, Takan stopped talking when I covered my mouth to stifle a chuckle. I was worried he misunderstood and got offended that I laughed. Fortunately, contrary to my worries, Takan only raised his eyebrows, the scar on his eyebrow twisting along with it. I lowered the hand covering my mouth and looked up at him. and said, ¡°Thank you. I didn¡¯t think anyone heard it.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t even think Takan would care about that.¡± In particular, it was Takan who hated me. So even though I was grateful for the unfamiliar situation, I thought I must have also looked pitiful enough to receive the goodwill of someone who hated me. People said no one could hide their love, so I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if someone as close in proximity as Takan would notice it. ¡°Thank you, Takan,¡± I smiled and turned around again. ¡°¡­¡± Stunned, Takan rapidly blinked, and his footsteps faltered. Laura looked back at him. ¡°Aelle! So you were here!¡± I looked up to see Hari grinning as she made her way to me. Her urgent steps kept kicking her dress. ¡°You¡¯re here,¡± I mumbled and gave a small smile. Hari approached me and wove our arms together as we walked around the mansion. Each employee knew Hari, and it felt like the seat next to Kyle was rightfully hers. She led me to the annex after we had tea in the garden. She said there was a place she wanted to go to before Kyle returned home. Then she led me to somewhere familiar. As she slowly drew closer to my study, I thought, ¡®oh, she wanted to read,¡¯ but suddenly she turned in the opposite direction. She was heading towards Kyle¡¯s study. ¡°M-madam,¡± Laura looked slightly alarmed as she closely followed us. When we arrived, Takan had just left the study and placed a lantern on the column on the wall. Thanks to that, the dark hallway became clearer. ¡°Perfect timing,¡± Hari looked back at me, whispered, and headed to the study. Takan, noticing our presence, quickly whirled around. ¡°Who is it?¡± I waved my hand at him and said, ¡°Takan, it¡¯s me.¡± When he saw me, his sharp glare fell, and his shoulders relaxed. ¡°So it was Madam.¡± At that moment, Hari went straight to his nose. ¡°Come out. We¡¯ll wait in the study until Kyle comes.¡± Takan¡¯s face turned pale, then immediately became expressionless again. Hari¡¯s eyebrows dramatically rose when he took a step back and blocked her way. ¡°Takan, I told Kyle I¡¯ll wait with Aelle in his study until he returns.¡± Takan flinched when his name came out of Hari¡¯s lips. Displeasure seemed to cross his face. Outsiders visiting the mansion usually refer to mansion employees by their titles rather than their real names. Hari should have addressed Takan as ¡®butler,¡¯ but instead referred to him as just ¡®Takan.¡¯ She said Kyle was like her family, so she thought she deserved it. CH 19 ¡°I will guide you to the drawing-room.¡± After all, Takan was not a man who went over just because Hari told him so. I felt a strange sense of deja vu from Takan¡¯s cold tone. A storm raged in Hari¡¯s eyes, gradually becoming unsettling. ¡°I¡¯ve always been able to go to Kyle¡¯s study without permission.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but things have changed since you were children.¡± Hari narrowed her eyes at Takan¡¯s firm attitude and looked away. Then, her gaze involuntarily turned to me. Finally, she smirked and raised her head proudly, looking as if she held the victory. ¡°Will you stop the owner?¡± Takan looked Hari straight in the eye, the high-pressure energy seemed to rise from him like mist slowly. I hurried to stand in between Hari and Takan before things escalated. ¡°Laura, can you come with Takan to see if cosmos have been planted in the garden?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Laura?¡± Laura looked back in silence, wetting her lips as if troubled. ¡°Laura.¡± ¡°Yes, I understand.¡± She bowed her head and approached Takan. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Frustrated, Takan rubbed his eyebrows before turning around at Laura¡¯s urging. I wasn¡¯t sure, but I think I heard him click his tongue. Hari stared intently at him as he walked out of the hallway, raising her lips as if relishing the sight. ¡°If it weren¡¯t for Kyle¡¯s friendship, I wouldn¡¯t have let him go.¡± Advertisements Hari¡¯s brows rose sharply. Of course, Takan was only doing his job and wasn¡¯t at fault, but I nodded and took her side. ¡°Okay.¡± Jjak¨C. Hari smiled brightly and clapped her hands to change the mood. ¡°Then shall we go in?¡± Hari grabbed my hand and dragged me to the study, obviously familiar with the place. Squeak¨C. The study¡¯s interior was revealed only after the rusty sound of the door hinges scratched my ears. It was the first time I had seen Kyle¡¯s study. Our studies are separated, so I have never stepped into this room. I could see bookshelves on both walls, covered in dust. Did no one clean this place? As I wondered about it, I saw a wall clock the size of a person. Hari looked pensively around the study. ¡°It¡¯s changed a lot. It used to be splendid.¡± ¡°¡­I see,¡± I said indifferently. ¡°The former Duke liked us and allowed us to play here.¡± Hari turned and looked back. ¡°Ah!¡± She pointed a finger somewhere, her eyes fluttering with anticipation. ¡°Do you know there¡¯s a secret space here?¡± Turning to the spot Hari pointed, I spotted a gap and a doorknob that could barely fit a person behind the clock. Ah, there¡¯s another door over there. It was inconspicuous enough that anyone who¡¯d enter the study for the first time wouldn¡¯t notice. It was as if the wall clock existed to hide the fact that there was a door. I shook my head and smiled awkwardly but didn¡¯t answer. Despite my lukewarm reaction, Hari wrinkled her nose and smiled brightly. She was already reminiscing on her memories. ¡°I spent most of my childhood here.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°That¡¯s the door to the basement, where we all played together and took a nap. Because the previous Duke allowed it¨C¡± Hari, who had been explaining things with exaggerated gestures, abruptly stopped, her expression quickly hardening. I didn¡¯t know if it was because of Louis or something else that caused her to stop talking. Hari bit her lip and showed a face that made it obvious she had made a mistake. Advertisements ¡°No, it¡¯s nothing.¡± Hari shook her head with earnest eyes telling me not to ask. Before I knew it, there was silence in the space, and no one spoke. A moment later, the sound of a chime cut through the stillness beyond the door, and the sound of someone¡¯s urgent footsteps rang out. Hari¡¯s eyes widened, and she tugged at the hem of my dress to whisper in my ear. ¡°I think Kyle¡¯s here.¡± Her voice rose playfully. ¡°What do we do?¡± Hari rushed towards the wall clock and hid behind it as I stared at the scene in awe. ¡°Hari?¡± Hari tried to arrange the end of her dress that had come out of the wall clock, but in the end, she hurriedly grabbed it with both hands and lifted it up. She stared intently at the study door. ¡°Hari, what are you doing?¡± ¡°I want to surprise Kyle.¡± Hari¡¯s hand popped out of the clock, shaking her hand in the air a few times before disappearing again. It seemed to mean to cooperate. Did Kyle and Louis accept her actions, or was it just because of her cold temper? Just as I thought of that, the door to the study flew open. ¡°Your Grace.¡± Gray eyes roamed the room in search of something. His eyebrows pulled together unpleasantly, perhaps because he couldn¡¯t find what he was looking for. ¡°Where¡¯s Hari?¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± Should I say it or not? I looked around, hesitating. ¡°She went to see the garden with Takan.¡± Kyle narrowed his eyes and stared at the study, perhaps because he didn¡¯t feel Hari¡¯s presence. Soon after, he sighed deeply and took a step back from the threshold. He didn¡¯t set foot in the study, but I could clearly see his clenched fists, his aura nervous and anxious. ¡°Are you feeling unwell, Your Grace?¡± Kyle let out a shaky breath and rubbed his forehead with his hand. Was it really bad? Kyle¡¯s breathing did not stabilize over time, so I moved my feet to approach him. ¡°Your Grace, I think¨C¡± ¡°¡­¡± At that moment, Kyle lowered his hand and glared. I froze since it seemed like an unspoken signal not to approach him. ¡°It¡¯s good that Hari¡¯s not here.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Be flexible today.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Advertisements ¡°Hari is starting to suspect our relationship. If she finds out she¡¯s the reason we started this contractual relationship¡­¡± ¡°Your Grace!¡± The more Kyle spoke, the more my eyes widened. I tried to stop him in a hurry, but it was too late. He refused to listen. By the time I was riddled with guilt, the hem of the dress had trembled out of the clock. Kyle finally felt her presence and slowly turned to her. ¡°Kyle.¡± Hari gripped the hem of her dress with both hands and came out of the clock. I didn¡¯t think Hari would find out this way. ¡°What did you mean?¡± Kyle made a rare startled face, then slowly opened his mouth. ¡°Hari.¡± Kyle¡¯s pupils trembled, anxious. ¡°What do you mean I¡¯m the reason behind the contractual relationship, Kyle?¡± Hari looked calm on the surface, but her unstable, trembling voice revealed her emotional state. Shocked eyes lingered on me, and when our eyes met, I looked away. ¡°No, no.¡± Hari shook her head and pushed Kyle away to run out of the study. ¡°Hari!¡± Kyle rushed out and followed Hari. It all happened in a blink of an eye. I could hear Hari sobbing and several shouts and urgent footsteps through the wide-open study door. I couldn¡¯t see them, so my imagination ran wild. Such pessimistic thoughts like Kyle hugging Hari as she wept or Hari accepting his feelings. Even if I closed my eyes and covered my ears, my mind refused to stop. I didn¡¯t want to imagine something like that. I just¨C ¡°Kyle.¡± I wanted to call his name. I wanted to call his name the way she did. I wanted to run out calling his name the way he ran out calling her name. I wanted to hold him just as he caught her. I repeated his name as if suppressing my desires. ¡°Kyle.¡± Calling his name, I suddenly felt like I was left alone in the world. Laura approached the balcony and bent down. ¡°Madam, it¡¯s windy, so you have to come in now.¡± I gripped the railing. The cool breeze gently carried the scent of the season. It¡¯s definitely autumn. My thoughts flowed naturally. I recalled the day I was with them in the backyard and thought of Kyle, who ran away, and I ended up worrying about him. ¡°Just a little bit. Wait a little bit.¡± ¡°Madam.¡± Advertisements I ended up lying in bed because I couldn¡¯t resist Laura¡¯s urging. As I lay down, the center of the bed sank and comfortably wrapped around me. ¡°Then rest.¡± Laura covered the blanket up to my neck and left the room, the sound of her footsteps muffled. It was already dark, yet Kyle didn¡¯t return. Will he come back today? No, will he ever come back? Is Hari okay? Plagued with such worries, I fell asleep. CH 20 ¡°Hmm.¡± As I rubbed my eyes with my hands, I blinked and looked around the room. Finally, my gaze stopped and focused on one place. ¡°Your Grace.¡± My eyes widened, and I stood up. His Grace, who had always been prim and proper, was sitting in a chair looking disorganized. And in my bedroom, where I thought he would never set foot in for the rest of my life. There was a bottle of wine on the table, and Kyle¡¯s clothes were draped on the chair. Kyle, who was drinking and breathing heavily, seemed somewhat decadent and even entrenched. ¡°Your Grace. How did you get here¡­¡± As Kyle tilted his face, the moonlight illuminated his face. In the dark, his eyes gleamed. ¡°I¡¯m just curious,¡± the deep voice cracked. Kyle shifted his unfocused gaze to his feet. ¡°Do you feel good? Or do you regret giving up the card you were holding?¡± ¡°Your Grace.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay to call me stupid. It¡¯s ridiculous, even for me,¡± he chuckled as he tilted his drink. In the end, he was rejected. I thought I would be happy if Kyle came to me because he was rejected, but I wasn¡¯t. Instead, I felt unstable, like a storm that¡¯s raging with emotions. After seeing Kyle looking so pitiful and sad, I hated Hari and even envied her. The fact that she was the one who could ruin him this much. I pulled myself out of bed and walked over to him. Then Kyle¡¯s eyes, wandering in the air, touched me and shook. Advertisements ¡°Why are you¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Are you crying?¡± Kyle raised one eyebrow. I shook my head weakly and lowered my gaze. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I just am.¡± Even though I knew the meaning behind the tears wetting my feet better than anyone else, I avoided answering him. Because I love you. And I don¡¯t like the person I¡¯ve become, who desperately wished for this situation. Even if I said it a hundred times, you wouldn¡¯t be able to understand the heart that even I didn¡¯t know. Swallowing my answer, I knelt before Kyle. My crying face reflected in his gray eyes. ¡°Your Grace¡­¡± It was painful to watch him devastated because I felt like I had hurt Kyle. I put my hand on his lap and rubbed it gently. Was there any way to take his pain away? At that moment, his voice seeped into my mind like water. ¡®I don¡¯t care who you are.¡¯ I stared at him sullenly and asked, ¡°Does it still not matter who I am now?¡± Whoever I was. A spark flashed in Kyle¡¯s eyes before it dimmed once more. He put down his drink and looked at me intently as if he understood my true intentions. How long had it been? His eyes glided to my lips. ¡°I don¡¯t care who it is.¡± ¡°Madam.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Madam?¡± I woke up and turned in the direction of the person calling me. Laura looked at me with a worried face. Recently, I¡¯ve been dozing off like a sick chicken. I can¡¯t believe you fell asleep as soon as you finished eating. I could almost hear Laura¡¯s thoughts. She gave Lil and Mas a knowing look, and the two immediately left the room with the finished dishes. Advertisements Laura stopped me from rubbing my eyes with the back of her hand and wiped them with a handkerchief. ¡°It¡¯s strange. I wasn¡¯t like this before.¡± ¡°You must have been exhausted.¡± I was already getting drowsy after listening to Laura. No matter how much I slept, I was endlessly sleepy. Unless all the food I consumed contained sleeping pills, It didn¡¯t make sense. I didn¡¯t sleep much in the first place, and I thought sleeping was a waste of time, so I spent most time sleeping to sew. And that wasn¡¯t all, was it? I frowned and rubbed my belly. I¡¯ve been feeling pain akin to needles poking me in my lower abdomen for some time now. The pain persisted as if the needle was disappointed in me for not sewing recently. It was different from the discomfort I felt during menstruation. I continued to rub my belly and counted the date. If my memory served me right, I was supposed to menstruate around this time, but for some reason, I wasn¡¯t. My cycle has always been regular. I rubbed my belly with my hand and thought hard. Laura knelt at my bedside. ¡°Laura, I think I should see a doctor¨C What¡¯s wrong, Laura?¡± I observed Laura, blinking at her unusual appearance. She was looking at the ceiling and muttering to herself as she counted something. ¡°Laura?¡± Suddenly, Laura¡¯s eyes widened as she gasped. Her eyes had turned round like a full moon. ¡°C-could you be pregnant¡­¡± ¡°Yes?¡± I waved my hands in dismissal. ¡°I-it can¡¯t be.¡± But Laura¡¯s words echoed in my mind. I rubbed my chest and took a deep breath. ¡°That¡¯s absurd.¡± But Laura¡¯s suspicions were quite reasonable. Laura turned around with a grin, saying she would bring in a doctor. A baby. I rubbed my abdomen once more; it seemed impossible for life to grow in this narrow space no matter how much I thought about it. I sat in a daze for a long time, but the door opened suddenly without notice. Knowing that Laura was bound to return, I sat leisurely at the edge of the bed and greeted her, ¡°Laura, the doctor is¨C¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Your Grace.¡± Advertisements In an instant, my eyes widened. Kyle faced me and hurriedly narrowed the distance between us. He raised his brows as he stared at me. I didn¡¯t do anything wrong, but my mouth felt dry. ¡°Doctor.¡± When Kyle spoke, the doctor rushed to me and quickly settled at the bedside. When I looked over Kyle¡¯s shoulder, I spotted Laura bowing her head deeply. Seeing her like that, I knew it wasn¡¯t her intention. I wasn¡¯t certain yet, but what should I do? Meanwhile, the doctor begged for my pardon as he held my shoulders and laid me down. As the lamps hanging from the ceiling shone around his broad shoulders, the glare of the light concealed his face. What expression did he have? A beating sound echoed in my ear as if my heart jumped up to my head. He wouldn¡¯t be happy if I got pregnant, so what should I do? Still, I distractedly answered the doctor¡¯s questions as countless questions filled my mind. After a while, the doctor turned to Kyle, and a few words passed between them. ¡°Are you sure?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± As soon as the doctor finished speaking, I heard a deep sigh somewhere. I couldn¡¯t even tell if it was his or mine. ¡°Laura.¡± When Kyle called Laura, the quick-witted doctor bowed. CH 21 ¡°Then I will take my leave.¡± ¡°This way.¡± After the doctor and Laura left, my rough breathing was the only thing that filled the silence in the room. I almost buried my face in the pillow because I didn¡¯t know what kind of face to show Kyle. No, actually, I was afraid of what kind of face Kyle would make. I never thought I would ever have children. I didn¡¯t mean to. What if he thought I approached him with the intention of conceiving the successor? I also wondered if Kyle despised or regretted getting married? Or was he happy that he now had an heir? Thousands of thoughts rushed through my mind when I heard footsteps approaching the bed. I got up, supporting my upper body with both arms. I could see a dent caused by my hand on the bed linen. ¡°Your Grace, the baby¡­¡± I slowly looked up and stared at Kyle. My heart pounded even faster because I couldn¡¯t read his face. If he didn¡¯t like children¡­ The thought terrified me. I felt the heat behind my eyes as it welled up with tears. With trembling hands, I caressed my flat stomach, anxious that the baby would disappear at any moment. Funnily enough, I fell in love with the child shortly after I realized I was pregnant. For me, It was as easy as falling in love with Kyle. How long had it been? Kyle sighed, rubbing his eyes. ¡°The doctor said your body is unstable, so please rest.¡± Kyle looked confused. I¡¯d expected that he¡¯d feel that way because he had an unwanted child with a person he didn¡¯t even love. He must be frustrated and full of regret. ¡°Rest.¡± Advertisements Soon after, I heard the sound of footsteps, and the door closed. Thank goodness. I could have the baby. It was good news, but my bitter heart didn¡¯t go away. I had a hunch Kyle wasn¡¯t happy. Even I was caught off guard, but at the same time, I was worried about how difficult it would be for him. Besides, he¡¯d just lost Hari. Nevertheless, I stained the bed with tears. Tears of conflicting reasons fell as emotions flooded me. I was relieved that I could have a child, but I felt sorry for the child because I could clearly see the consequences of my greed. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. Mom will try harder.¡± Whispering to the child who might be listening, I swallowed my tears. ¡°I¡­ Madam.¡± Laura called me again, awkwardly grasping her face with both hands. It seemed like a warning to stop what I was doing. ¡°I¡¯ll just finish this, Laura.¡± ¡°But you¡¯ve been sewing for days now.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± I smiled awkwardly and looked down. Even Laura couldn¡¯t stop my obsession with children¡¯s clothes. As I imagined and laughed at what I would dress my child when he was born, my hands created the clothes one by one. Of course, I didn¡¯t know the baby¡¯s gender, so they all looked the same, but I thought that the more clothes, the better. When I put down the fabric and sewing tools, Laura handed me the book she was holding. ¡°Why don¡¯t you read?¡± I gently rubbed the pages with my hands as I accepted the book. Truthfully, I wanted to go for a walk or an outing for my child¡¯s sake. Still, even if I went around the mansion, I felt uncomfortable around the employees, so I usually stayed in the library. Even more so right after it was announced that I was pregnant. Right, let¡¯s read children¡¯s books. I smiled bitterly and read the title of the book, ¡°Quetrey Forest?¡± I turned the pages and only closed the book after time had passed and the red sunset dyed my hair. How mysterious, a forest that could erase memories. There were so many things I didn¡¯t know in the world. When I raised my head with a smile, Laura was still there. Advertisements Did she stand there until I finished reading? You shouldn¡¯t do that. Perhaps she read my expression because she simply smiled. Ah, come to think of it. I could ask Laura. With that thought in mind, I said, ¡°Laura, what do you think about me sponsoring an orphanage? I¡¯m thinking of sending the necessary items to the children instead of money.¡± Laura nodded. ¡°I think grains or school supplies would be good.¡± ¡°I see. I¡¯m not good at this, so I¡¯d like to get some advice from Takan or Laura.¡± Laura paused for a moment before speaking. ¡°Sir Takan is on vacation for four days from today.¡± ¡°Is that so? That¡¯s too bad,¡± I chuckled awkwardly. I guess I¡¯d ask for his advice four days later. While I was deep in thought, Laura stepped closer. ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask His Grace? His Grace has offered it, so I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll give you advice.¡± ¡°¡­May I?¡± I hesitated, extending the last syllable. Perhaps the hope in my voice was too obvious because Laura quickly nodded. ¡°This is also a social activity for the family, so His Excellency will give you good advice.¡± I swallowed hard and licked my dry lips. After finding out I was pregnant, I didn¡¯t have a chance to see Kyle. He seemed to avoid me, just as he did when we first got married, but whenever we¡¯d run into each other, he¡¯d forcibly greet me, perhaps because of the baby. I didn¡¯t want to bother him, so I stayed in the bedroom or the study. Distracted, I tapped the pages of the book. ¡°Laura, shall we go to His Grace¡¯s office?¡± I asked out loud even though I didn¡¯t need her permission. I couldn¡¯t get Kyle¡¯s permission, so it made me feel like I would need someone¡¯s consent to visit him. ¡°Yes, Madam.¡± It was only after Laura nodded did I leave the study, my stomach fluttering in relief and nervousness. As the twilight night arrived, I fell asleep, tired of the long wait. But after a while, I opened my eyes in surprise as I suddenly woke up, trembling. Before I knew it, lanterns were lit everywhere in the moonlit office. Nothing happened, but strangely, I felt chills down my spine. I looked back to see Laura biting her lips awkwardly. I wondered what was wrong with her, but I turned in the opposite direction. ¡°Y-Your Grace.¡± Kyle was on the sofa in front of me, leaning forward as he stared at me. I hurriedly fixed my clothes and hair and fumbled my face with my hands because I was worried I might have drooled in my sleep. I was only able to face Kyle after making sure I looked presentable. I bit my lips and closed my eyes tightly. I couldn¡¯t believe I fell asleep waiting for Kyle in his office. It was because I was pregnant and slept more. ¡°Y-you¡¯re here? First of all, ah, right. Laura, would you please get tea? His Grace must be tired¡­¡± ¡°I think you¡¯re more tired.¡± Advertisements In an instant, the back of my neck and ears felt warm. I supported myself with my arms to get up from the sofa. But before I could stand up, Kyle stood from the sofa and quietly said, ¡°Sit down.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯ll get up¡±. ¡°Are you going to make me feel uncomfortable?¡± With that, I sat back down and stared at Kyle as he walked to his desk. I smiled shyly. Kyle looked over the papers on his desk and picked up some unknown documents. ¡°They said you came here for advice.¡± ¡°Yes, I need your advice on sponsoring an orphanage.¡± But, honestly, it was more of an excuse to see Kyle. I looked him in the eye and said, ¡°I¡¯m thinking about sending grain or school supplies to selected nurseries. What do you think?¡± Kyle¡¯s gaze fell from the paperwork. Then, he tilted his head and asked, ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°What are you talking about¡­¡± I blinked. After a while, Kyle put down the papers. ¡°I mean, is there nothing you want?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°This is also for the family, so you will need to be compensated for your performance. Tell me what you want.¡± Was he going to give me a present? I looked at Kyle, who was leaning against the window, his arms crossed. His gray eyes languidly appeared and disappeared. ¡°What I want¡­¡± That was the unexpected part. Could I tell you what I really wanted? ¡°Then¡­¡± When I hesitated then stopped speaking altogether, Kyle sighed and uncrossed his arms. Did he read the expression on my face? ¡°If you want the necklace you wore at the wedding¡­¡± ¡°Your name.¡± At that moment, his gray eyes widened, and he turned towards me. Kyle, who was always indifferent and unconcerned, looked unusually startled. I clasped my hands and braced myself. ¡°Let me call Your Grace by your name.¡± I anxiously wriggled my toes in my shoes. He¡¯d probably reject it. Was it an unreasonable request? I should have asked for something normal. As the waves of regret crashed down on me, his voice suddenly rang out. ¡°I¡¯ll allow it.¡± I jumped and slowly looked up, my shoulders tense. It was the first time I¡¯d heard such a warm tone from Kyle. CH 22 ¡°Takan, what¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°Hey, Takan!¡± Someone who recognized Takan greeted him, but he didn¡¯t react, his expression bored. Relying on a lamp to tread through the darkness, Takan stopped walking only after reaching a secluded area¨Ca corner with worn wooden tables and chairs. He sat on the moldy chair and looked around. He was at a bar frequented by wanderers who lived on the cliffs and indulged in liquor and drugs. The place was dark, be it night or day. Mercenaries usually gathered together at this bar and swore to their hearts¡¯ content. It was also a place where Takan often stopped after work before losing his sister. So yes, this level was right for him. Takan leaned against the wall and stretched lazily, his gaze staring blankly at the darkness. Tak¨C. After a while, someone placed a cracked pint glass on the table. ¡°Takan, long time no see. I heard you came back from a vacation?¡± A tall man¨Cthe owner of the bar, Takan thought¨Csat across from him. He laughed in a husky voice, but Takan only looked dryly at the glass. Takan never dreamed that he would return to the village on the outskirts where he and his sister lived. It felt like it was only yesterday when he bid goodbye to the village and walked away, but years had already passed. Advertisements Takan lowered his gaze and slowly scanned his attire. Today, he took off his monocle. His hair, which had always been neatly brushed back, was also ruffled, and he didn¡¯t wear shiny shoes. And today, he didn¡¯t have to use honorifics or lower his head to someone. After leaving the mansion, he was able to return to the old Takan. He was his original self ¨C promiscuous, foul-mouthed, and violent to anyone who made eye contact with him. Still, Takan wondered why he couldn¡¯t go back. No, he knew. Closing his eyes, Takan remembered hearing Aelle cry. The news of the pregnancy was supposed to be a blessing, yet there she was, swallowing her sobs and shedding tears. Fortunately, he was the only one left outside the bedroom door after Laura escorted the doctor. It was such a sad and pitiful sob that they would have definitely sympathized with her if another employee had heard it. That day, Takan clenched his fists as he stared at the door. Then, after a while, Kyle walked out of the bedroom. ¡®Isn¡¯t that woman pitiful?¡¯ ¡®Lower your voice.¡¯ ¡®Hari, that woman, came and walked around the mansion pretending to be the Mistress of the house, so the hierarchy was shaken. And yet she didn¡¯t even complain to you.¡¯ ¡®¡­¡¯ ¡®Do you really think that woman married you for ulterior reasons?¡¯ ¡®It¡¯s none of your business, Takan.¡¯ He was right. He didn¡¯t care about noblewomen¡¯s circumstances, so he¡¯d usually ignore them, but for some reason, Takan couldn¡¯t do that to her. This was because Ael¡¯s appearance overlapped with his younger sister, who sometimes appeared like an afterimage. Advertisements Was that why? Even though Kyle stared suspiciously at him, he couldn¡¯t resist. It was all so confusing. Kyle, he looked confused, too. ¡®We¡¯ll talk later.¡¯ Even after Kyle disappeared, Takan stood guard outside the bedroom. She might not have noticed, but Takan always watched her staring out the window, all alone. Without getting tired, she waited and waited for Kyle, guarding the window like an old tree rooted to the ground. One day, he spotted her through a gap in the open study door. With her hands clasped together tightly by her chest, she prayed for her child and Kyle until the sunset fell over her. Even though Aelle¡¯s appearance overlapped with his sister, who always waited for him, her gaze was always on Kyle. At that sight, the illusion would shatter. Aelle wasn¡¯t his sister, nor was she waiting for him, but for some reason, his gaze was drawn to her. ¡®Crazy.¡¯ It was easy to admit he was crazy because he was. ¡°Hey, Takan!¡± The man sitting across from him tapped Takan on the shoulder, shaking him out of his stupor. As Takan slowly opened his eyes, the sunset disappeared, and darkness came. ¡°If you¡¯re going to sleep, go to the room and sleep!¡± The man chuckled, but Tarkan merely stared at the glass of wine dryly. He put his hand in his pants pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. He carefully caressed the area embroidered with her name. The more he touched it, the more it felt like it was engraved in his heart, and the more he felt confused. Takan suddenly remembered her waiting for Kyle. Advertisements ¡®I¡¯m sure you¡¯re waiting today as well.¡¯ For someone who won¡¯t even come back. Someone who never thanked her for waiting. Even though Takan knew he wasn¡¯t the one she was waiting for, he had no choice but to move. He just didn¡¯t want to leave her alone. When Takan got up from his seat, the man in front of him blinked and scratched his hair. ¡°Are you going to sleep?¡± ¡°I have to go back.¡± ¡°What?¡± The man¡¯s eyes widened. He then turned to someone and pointed his finger at Takan. ¡°Demi! Did Takan get a job, and his sense of humor improve? Or has he gone mad?¡± ¡°Takan¡¯s always been crazy!¡± A playful voice answered. The man burst into laughter and turned back to Taran. However, Taran, who would usually growl back, had no response. The man scratched his head. Come to think of it, it seemed that the atmosphere around Takan had changed since the last time he saw him. While the man pondered on the change, Takan left and walked toward the door. The man shouted, ¡°Takan, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Takan stopped in his tracks. ¡°Someone is waiting.¡± ¡°Someone¡¯s waiting for you?¡± The man asked in surprise. He was one of the people who knew Takan well. ¡®His sister is dead, and he¡¯s alone.¡¯ After that, Takan let the noise in the bar wash away his thoughts. A moment later, he opened the door, a bright light seeping in and swallowing him whole. By the time the bar owner came to his senses, Takan had already disappeared. He stared blankly at the place where Takan had left. ¡°No one¡¯s waiting for you, so why are you leaving?¡± After finishing my lunch, I took a walk in the garden and headed to the flower bed. Seeing Laura staring at the flower bed reminded me of the day Hari visited the mansion. In my own stubbornness and will to protect myself, I had spent a lot of free time walking around the garden with my back to the flower bed, doing my best not to look at it. Now that Hari¡¯s gone, I wanted to prove to myself that I didn¡¯t care anymore. At that moment, I inadvertently turned to the shadow cast on the flower bed. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Kyle, who had just returned to the mansion, took off his gloves and approached me leisurely. His eyes gazed at the flower bed with boredom. Advertisements ¡°You¡¯re back.¡± I bowed, my gaze on the floor heading to the flower bed. Soon after, I slowly raised my head to the shadow. ¡°I was taking a walk. I think the wind is getting stronger¨C.¡± I stopped and stared blankly at him. At this point, I knew my voice was just white noise for him. All his attention wasn¡¯t on me but on the flower bed where the traces of Hari were left. I smiled bitterly at seeing his gray eyes darken and immersed in reminiscence. He was probably thinking of her. The stubbornness and will to protect myself have all disappeared. I¡¯ve already gotten used to the feeling of falling into the mad with a single glance of his eyes. It¡¯s not that she didn¡¯t know that Kyle loved Hari, but after becoming pregnant, my jealousy, shame, and sadness doubled. ¡°I¡¯ll go in first,¡± I spoke words I knew he couldn¡¯t hear. Trying to suppress my emotions, I grabbed the hem of my dress and turned back. Suddenly, Kyle¡¯s low voice rang. ¡°Are you concerned about the flowerbed?¡± ¡°The flowerbed?¡± I turned around and focused on his voice. Soon after, Kyle took his eyes off the flower bed and looked at me. ¡°Do whatever you want.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I no longer need it.¡± It was a lonely and gloomy voice as if the rain was chasing after it. Even though this was what I¡¯d hoped for even before marriage, my whole body hardened like a stone when I saw him hurt. I couldn¡¯t even imagine how it would feel to Kyle, who lost his beloved woman and close friend. Then Kyle walked past me. ¡°Your Grace.¡± I reflexively reached out and grabbed the hem of his robe. Kyle stopped walking and looked at me. It was an impulsive act that came out of not wanting to see him turn lonely. ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°T-that¡¯s¡­¡± I stammered. It must have been frustrating, but he patiently waited for me to speak. CH 23 ¡°Together¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Next time, let¡¯s choose a flower together. Something the baby will like.¡± What would he say? Would he dismiss it again, saying I was being presumptuous, or would he get angry? It felt like an eternity to wait for his answer. My hand that gripped the hem of his robe trembled, and my heart felt like it would drop and jump at once. ¡°¡­¡± No matter how long I waited, I didn¡¯t hear an answer. Ah, I messed up again. It was a mistake. With that thought in mind, I let go of him, but suddenly, Kyle¡¯s low voice rang, ¡°Alright.¡± My eyes widened as I looked up. I wanted to see his face, but the hem of his robe was coldly slipping through my grasp. I stared blankly at his back as he passed by me. I looked down, placing my hands on my stomach. I couldn¡¯t stop myself from smiling. I tucked my hair behind my ears and whispered, ¡°Thank you, baby.¡± To me, seeing his back always made me feel bitter and lonely, but for the first time, it didn¡¯t. It was thanks to the baby. Did he open his heart to the child? Even though I wasn¡¯t far along yet, I could feel my heart beating through the palm of my hand, as if the baby was answering me. With my grin still in place, I turned to Laura. ¡°Laura, I think the baby will be as intelligent as His Grace. I have a feeling.¡± ¡°Madam¡­¡± Laura smiled awkwardly as if unsure how to deal with my rarely excited appearance. It was a quiet noonday, and the autumn scent blew through the window. It had rained the day before, and the humid and damp air had a strong seasonal scent. Advertisements I put down the book I was reading and looked up at Laura. ¡°Where is Kyle going?¡± I¡¯ve gotten used to saying his name now. At first, I had a difficult time uttering the word. Even just saying the first syllable made my heart race. But, even now that I¡¯ve gotten used to it, I still haven¡¯t been able to call Kyle comfortably. ¡°His Grace will attend a meeting in an allied country.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t the war over?¡± ¡°His Grace has to be there to discuss the territorial distribution of the defeated country.¡± When we met in the garden a while ago, he didn¡¯t say anything. I see. I pursed my lips and nodded. Laura blinked and smiled, a sight I rarely saw. ¡°Are you upset to hear the news from me?¡± ¡°No way,¡± I denied, wildly waving my hands. But it was clear from the look on Laura¡¯s face that she didn¡¯t buy it. I wasn¡¯t really upset about it. In the first place, Kyle never talked to me about his work or daily life, and if he had something to do, someone would usually notify me instead. I¡¯ve become greedy. Being able to call his name made me curious about his life and his thoughts. Did he sort out things with Hari? If so, that would be great. I was greedy even for areas I knew were off-limits. I smiled bitterly and tucked back my hair. Then, when sunlight hit my face, I frowned. ¡°Your complexion has brightened up a lot.¡± Laura closed the curtains in the study and continued the conversation with ease. ¡°Really?¡± I asked, cupping my cheeks. Knock, knock¨C. At that moment, someone knocked on the door. ¡°Come in.¡± It was none other than Takan. It¡¯s been a long time since I frequently saw him in the mansion. ¡°Takan,¡± I stood, greeting him. Advertisements Takan walked in and bowed. ¡°You were looking for me?¡± I smiled as I approached him. It was nice to meet him after so long, and I moved without knowing that my tired body felt heavy. ¡°Did you have a good vacation?¡± ¡°Yes¡± I heard he went on vacation, but Takan had a dark expression on his face, like when he asked me for the handkerchief. Takan¡¯s eyes, as blue as the autumn sky, were on me but fell after a moment, so I decided not to ask any more questions. ¡°Takan, can you find an orphanage to sponsor?¡± ¡°If it¡¯s a sponsorship¡­¡± he trailed off, looking at the ceiling. ¡°I¡¯m thinking of sponsoring one using my budget for maintaining dignity. I was planning on giving grains and school supplies. What do you think?¡± ¡°My opinion doesn¡¯t matter,¡± he answered. ¡°Then I¡¯ll look for an orphanage.¡± After a while, Takan left the room. He was usually ruthless, but he was even more so today. Confused, I turned to Laura, but she shook her head as if she knew nothing. ¡°His Grace has proposed to eat a meal together.¡± ¡°A meal?¡± Did I do something wrong again? Let¡¯s calm down first. Two seasons have passed since I last sent a letter to Father, to which he never replied, and I never heard of the business being opened. After that, Kyle no longer mentioned it. I hope you didn¡¯t change your mind about the child. Maybe it¡¯s because the random thoughts made me nervous, but there was a prickling discomfort in my lower stomach, and I could feel a headache coming. Laura asked if she should tell Kyle I was feeling unwell and to postpone it if I continued to feel sick, but I stubbornly attended the meal. I knew if I didn¡¯t, I would continue to feel anxious, and it might affect the baby. It shouldn¡¯t be a big deal. Advertisements I took a deep breath and followed Takan as he guided me into the dining room. ¡°I¡¯m here.¡± The same scene as last time unfolded before my eyes. There was a dinner on the table, and Kyle was waiting for me, looking contemplative. Except for Kyle waiting for me, everything was the same. I licked my lips and sat down in the chair Takan pulled out. As I moved, the candle that adorned the candlestick flickered and swayed. Soon enough, only Kyle and I were left in the room. ¡°Did you hear from Laura?¡± ¡°About what?¡± I asked, confused. Kyle didn¡¯t answer and just stared at me. Then, a moment later, he picked up the tableware and started eating. He wasn¡¯t one to engage in useless small talk, and since he didn¡¯t ask the question again, maybe it didn¡¯t matter. I followed his lead and quietly started eating. In the quiet room, only the sound of the tableware hitting against each other resonated. I glanced at Kyle, who seemed to only play with his food. Did Kyle even eat? Thinking back, I couldn¡¯t think of a moment I¡¯d seen him eat. He was always just drinking something. The food looked delicious. I salivated at the spread. Would he mind if I ate? My appetite grew when I became pregnant, so it had been a struggle to resist delicious food. Before I knew it, I left my worries behind and, as if possessed, cut the meat into small pieces, drizzled it with sauce, and chewed heartily. But I suddenly stopped, my eyes widening. ¡°Your Grace?¡± Kyle had put his plate in front of me. I swallowed hard. ¡°I heard that having a child is hard on a mother¡¯s body.¡± Unlike me, Kyle had a glass of wine. His words and behavior weren¡¯t that different from usual, but his slightly furrowed eyebrows looked softer. ¡°T-thank you¡­¡± I stammered and gently rubbed the tableware I was holding with my fingertips. Then, I hurriedly shoved the food in my mouth and chewed because if I didn¡¯t, I might not be able to stop myself from laughing hysterically. Sometimes good things can happen if you don¡¯t expect and just assume the worst. Advertisements Kyle turned his gaze to me several times as he handed me more food. He hesitated for a while before speaking. ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± After blinking a few times and staring at Kyle in confusion, I finally understood the meaning behind his words. It was a low voice, but it was clear that he was talking to me. ¡®Did you hear from Laura?¡¯ ¡®I¡¯ll be back.¡¯ When I recalled Kyle¡¯s words, I couldn¡¯t stop the smile from spreading on my face. I bowed down to hide my expression and covered my mouth with the back of my hand. His heart didn¡¯t even come to me, but it felt as if I¡¯d made progress. Could I hope for more? That I¡¯m finally moving Kyle¡¯s heart? I cleared my throat and looked up. ¡°Are you going to the allied country?¡± The beautiful hand wrapped around the wine glass twitched. The furrow between his eyebrows deepened as he set down his glass. I didn¡¯t know if the look on his face was that of displeasure or embarrassment. Was my question difficult? I bit my lip in regret and swallowed the rest of my questions. I was worried I might ruin Kyle¡¯s mood. CH 24 ¡°Have a safe trip, Kyle.¡± I put down the tableware and talked to him in the hope he would come back safely. At that moment, the gray eyes that had been wandering in the air met mine. ¡°I¡¯ll be waiting.¡± As I smiled, his eyes darkened like the moon covered by clouds. He stared at me for a moment before turning away. Like a person who saw something they shouldn¡¯t have. The sound of footsteps echoed in the gray hallway. One was relaxed while the other was impatient. Takan followed Kyle as he entered the office. As soon as the office door closed, Takan asked, ¡°Kyle, have you developed feelings for her?¡± Kyle slowly turned around and raised his red eyes. ¡°I should ask you the same.¡± Advertisements Takan was struck speechless by the stern voice. When he didn¡¯t answer, Kyle turned away with a sigh. When Kyle looked back at Takan again, there was a ferocious glint in his eyes. ¡°You should know that it¡¯s none of your business.¡± ¡°I know, I know¡­!¡± Takan stopped and took a deep breath. He lowered his gaze to his feet, sighing once more as he ran his hand through his hair. He suddenly remembered Aelle¡¯s hopeful face he saw in the dining room. It was the first time he had seen that look. As he played his role as a butler and watched them like canvas in a museum, Aelle¡¯s heart was visible like vivid paint. He couldn¡¯t help but smile in vain. It was funny that he once thought she was plotting something. Takan sighed again and shook his head. Then, after a while, he turned around. ¡°If you don¡¯t have feelings for her, don¡¯t give her unreasonable expectations.¡± Kyle¡¯s voice stopped him in his tracks. ¡°Stop getting involved. It¡¯s between her and me.¡± Takan stiffened. He rubbed his eyebrow in frustration before leaving the office. As he went out, he muttered, ¡°I don¡¯t want to either.¡± The whispered words were scattered in the air. Kyle moved to the corner and turned his eyes to the desk. In the middle of the desk was an empty glass bottle of friendship with an old friend. ¡°I need to double-check the quantity.¡± ¡°M-Madam.¡± Laura reluctantly followed me around. I walked around the warehouse carrying the books to check the number of school supplies and the grains we¡¯re donating to the orphanage today. At first, I wanted to help load the goods into the carriage, but I couldn¡¯t because Laura stopped me from doing it because I was pregnant. It¡¯s been about two weeks since Kyle left. Advertisements I couldn¡¯t waste time after watching him leave, so I focused on sponsoring an orphanage; in the end, I became fully invested. It made me feel proud that I was helpful to him by doing a job appropriate to my position. And to add to that, it was amazing that I seemed to be adapting well to the mansion. Takan gave a hand, but Laura did most of the groundwork to identify and select the items to donate. Thanks to them, I was relieved because nothing was beyond my reach. I handed the books to Laura and spun around the warehouse. ¡°Madam, you should leave the rest to us¡­¡± ¡°Laura, let¡¯s load them up now.¡± Laura stepped back and called the employees. I smiled contentedly as the coachman, and the other employees entered the warehouse to take the goods. Laura looked around the air and handed me a handkerchief. ¡°There¡¯s a lot of dust, Madam.¡± Instead of thanking her with a smile, I took the handkerchief and covered my nose and mouth. ¡°Madam, the preparations are complete,¡± one of the employees said when they finished loading the goods. I put down the handkerchief and checked my dress. As expected, it¡¯s a good thing I changed into a simple outfit in advance. ¡°Then, let¡¯s go.¡± I smiled brightly and nodded as I moved, but Laura suddenly caught up with me. ¡°Madam, please don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re going there yourself¡­¡± Laura trailed off, looking at me in disbelief. ¡°Laura, it wouldn¡¯t make sense if I don¡¯t visit an orphanage that I sponsored.¡± I shook my head hard in case Laura thought of dissuading me. Laura withdrew with a sigh. She knew I could be quite stubborn. ¡°Madam, if that¡¯s the case, how about an escort¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡± A familiar voice interrupted Laura. Advertisements When I turned to the voice, I saw Takan by the entrance of the warehouse, wearing comfortable clothes. He wasn¡¯t wearing his monocle, his hair wasn¡¯t slicked back, and he looked relaxed, unlike usual. ¡°Takan?¡± Unlike me, who was surprised, Takan glanced out of the warehouse indifferently. ¡°I¡¯ve given the orders regarding the work at the mansion, so half a day is enough.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Trust me; I¡¯m pretty good.¡± Takan frowned at me, perhaps because he didn¡¯t like that I was staring at him. I met Laura¡¯s eyes. She refrained from speaking because she couldn¡¯t go against my will, but she seemed opposed to it. Even if we called an escort knight, it would take quite a while to reach the main gate. Besides, Takan chose the orphanage, so it was a good idea to go with him. I looked at Laura and Takan and soon nodded. ¡°Alright, Takan.¡± Laura could do nothing but sigh. The orphanage was located in a remote area, its building old and worn down. I handed over the supplies and tried to tour the area quietly. However, the head of the orphanage rushed to the entrance and bowed several times, thanking me for the thoughtful support. Even though he had been called to the mansion for an investigation and meeting, he thanked me as if he¡¯d never seen me before. In the end, I gave up looking around the orphanage and tried to turn around, but the director said that he would guide me inside the building. It was something I wanted. I wanted to see the children, too, so I followed the director. However, the experience was uncomfortable because he grabbed the passing children one by one and made them say hello. I was flustered, worried it might put too much pressure on the children, so I was relieved when Laura suggested we get some fresh air because it¡¯s been a while since we went out. Thanks to her, I was able to get out of the building and see the children running around. ¡°Madam, the sun is hot.¡± Frowning at the intense glare of the sun, Laura opened her parasol and cast a shade on me. I smiled in gratitude and looked away. ¡°The children are so cute.¡± I looked at the children huddling in the yard and playing with paper balls. It brought me joy to see children as young as ten years old sitting around in a circle. ¡°They are,¡± Takan¡¯s soft voice echoed behind me. I turned my head to sneak a glance at him, then looked at the children again. ¡°Takan, may I ask why you chose this place?¡± At the long silence, I figured I wouldn¡¯t hear an answer. As I watched the children kick the paper ball and run, I heard a sigh. ¡°I spent some time here when I was young.¡± When his voice broke, I turned to face Takan. Was he crying? Takan was looking at the sky, a storm raging in his calm eyes. ¡°I see.¡± I wondered what he was thinking and what he was seeing, but I didn¡¯t ask further, thinking it would be rude to ask anymore. So instead, I went back to looking at the children. ¡°Ah.¡± A girl tried to run in my direction but suddenly stopped and took a step back. I lowered my gaze to see something hit my feet. Advertisements It was the paper ball the children were playing with. When I looked up again, I saw the girl and the children looking at the ball. ¡°Madam, I¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, so stay back.¡± I cut off Laura¡¯s words, bent down, and picked up the paper ball. Then, when I was at eye level with the girl, I held out the paper ball and shook it slightly, waiting for her to take it. The girl looked at Takan and at me, then ran quickly and took the ball. ¡°T-thank you.¡± I stroked the child¡¯s head and wiped the sweat from her forehead. ¡°Go and play.¡± The child looked up at me, her cheeks flushed pink. She bowed deeply before turning around and returning to the other children. I straightened and waved at them. I felt a gaze that was warmer than the sun and unintentionally turned my head. ¡°Takan?¡± I made eye contact with Takan, who was looking at me. His pupils trembled slightly, and he looked visibly confused. Then, after a while, he looked away and turned to the children again. His eyes wandered through the air as if searching for something lost. CH 25 It¡¯s been a month since Kyle left. During the time he was away, I wrote a diary to soothe my mind. Even though I wasn¡¯t the type to do that, I was able to calm my desire to see him by writing letters. I didn¡¯t know why I was so anxious. I didn¡¯t know when he¡¯d return, so I didn¡¯t leave the window, much to Laura¡¯s concern. It wasn¡¯t the same as when I was comforted just by being in the same space with him or when I stood on the balcony and waited for a carriage carrying him to arrive at the end of the garden. As his body moved away, Kyle felt farther away. ¡°All done.¡± I finished writing the last letter. There was nothing more to write about, but I didn¡¯t want to close the diary. I set my quill down and stared at the bedside table. There was a vase with a single sunflower. Laura said there were only a few sunflowers left in the greenhouse. ¡°It¡¯s so pretty.¡± The bright yellow petals that framed the dark center were beautiful. I¡¯ve been changing the water in the vase myself since the day I received it. I hope he¡¯d come back before the flower dries up. With that in mind, I religiously changed the water. Every day, I would lean against the balcony railing and stare at the main gate. I would hum a lullaby or read a storybook to the baby in my womb. At night, I¡¯d gaze at the moonlight, tracing the shape of the moon with my fingertips. Unfortunately, I couldn¡¯t spend a long time on the balcony because Laura tended to nag that I might get a cold. So instead, I¡¯d wrap a blanket tightly around my shoulders as I stayed outside for a while. As I finished my letter, I couldn¡¯t fight the drowsiness overpowering me, so I leaned my body on the console, using my arms as a pillow. ¡°Come back, Kyle.¡± I miss you. ¡°Takan, you¡¯re here?¡± Late in the afternoon, Takan came to the study. I¡¯d only noticed later that Laura had left the room. I put down the book I was reading and welcomed him, but for some reason, Takan¡¯s expression remained stiff. His dark, scarred eyebrows were furrowed harshly, making him look ferocious. He told me he was delivering the items to the orphanage today. Did something go wrong? I couldn¡¯t hold back my curiosity, so I tilted my head and asked, ¡°Takan, were the items delivered safely?¡± ¡°Yes, it was delivered without any damage.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a relief. I was worried because it¡¯s winter,¡± I smiled and lowered my gaze. Then, I heard Takan sigh. What was he worried about? ¡°Are you okay?¡± ¡°Are you alright?¡±[1] Takan and I spoke at the same time, and so I asked again, ¡°What?¡± ¡°Who should be worrying about whom?¡± Our voices overlapped once more. It was so absurd that I couldn¡¯t help but chuckle, but Takan¡¯s eyebrows furrowed even more. Was I in trouble? I scratched my cheeks and blinked up at him. Takan sighed and said, ¡°You haven¡¯t eaten properly for a while, have you?¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± ¡°The doctor said you have to be careful. Please eat, even if you have to force yourself.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine, Takan.¡± ¡°Who on earth would be okay¡­!¡± He clenched his fists as he raised his voice but abruptly stopped just as when his intense emotions were fully exposed. Somehow, I felt like I had seen a glimpse of the real Takan. It warmed my heart to feel his concern. ¡°Thank you, Takan.¡± For a moment, his eyes looking at me trembled before looking away. ¡°His Grace¡¯s return is past due.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I will ask the vassal in charge.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t do that,¡± I shook my head. I tucked my hair behind my ear, picked up the book then put it back down. I didn¡¯t know what to do with my hands, and I looked down and stared at my stomach. He¡¯ll be back soon. Takan didn¡¯t hide his frustration at seeing my groundless faith. He¡¯ll be back soon. He will, my baby. I rubbed my stomach with both hands, trying to calm my anxiety. It was winter, and snowflakes fell outside the window, the world stained white. The snow bore heavily on the thin branches that endured the seasons. The branches, which could not withstand the weight, fell around the tree¡¯s root and died. ¡°Madam, would you like to eat a meal?¡± I shook my head and said, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Just smelling the food makes me nauseous, so I can¡¯t¡­¡± Laura bit her lip and lowered her eyes worriedly. I would eat soup if I could, but I couldn¡¯t even stomach that. Of course, there were days when I wanted to eat something, but it was usually difficult to find food. By the time Takan found it, my craving had already ended, and I couldn¡¯t swallow it. ¡°Then, please rest.¡± Noticing that I wanted to be alone, Laura bowed her head and left the bedroom. I lay down on my bed, staring blankly into the air. I curled into myself and wrapped my arms around my stomach. ¡°Kyle.¡± He didn¡¯t come back even though the date he said he¡¯d return had long since passed. Did the baby sense my anxiety? I couldn¡¯t eat anything and stayed in bed all day. On days when I forced myself to eat, I threw it all up, unable to control my body. I looked up and stared at the sunflower on the vase. There was no news of trouble. Although I was worried about him, who would have to endure the harsh winter wind, I thought he would come back without any trouble since he was Kyle, who survived it even on the battlefield. But why hasn¡¯t he come back? Did he go to Hari? No, no. If that were the case, the employees surely would have talked about it by now. Moreover, Kyle hated rumors about her more than anyone else. He stayed with me to protect her. There¡¯s no way he¡¯d do anything to harm her. As I continued to ponder on it, I became despondent and had to bite my lips. Surely, there were other reasons. He said he¡¯d return. But anxiety filled my mind. I clenched my eyes shut and stroked my stomach. Then, as I thought about him, I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, I didn¡¯t know what time it was, but the room was dark. I grumbled and raised my upper body. I was engulfed by loneliness and frustration as if I had suddenly fallen into an abyss. Knock, knock¨C. ¡°Come in,¡± I croaked, my voice still hoarse with sleep. I rubbed the back of my neck and stared at those who entered the bedroom. ¡°Madam.¡± It was Lil and Mas. When Mas hesitated before crossing the threshold, Lil grabbed her sleeve and came into the bedroom. They stopped only when they reached the bedside. Lil calmly bowed, and Mas followed suit. After staring at them for a moment, I lowered my hand and coughed. ¡°We¡¯re sorry to have disturbed your sleep, Madam.¡± ¡°I woke up a little while ago.¡± Seeing that Laura did not follow them, it was obvious that they had come here without Laura¡¯s permission. If that was the case, it meant that they had something to tell me in secret, or it was urgent. I lowered my legs and sat on the bed, looking up at them. No one broke the silence even after some time had passed. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I was tired, and I wanted to send them back as soon as possible. Lil nudged Mas, and Mas stuttered to her, ¡°Y-you tell her.¡± Lil sighed. Her black eyes that had been examining me fell to her feet. ¡°I heard a strange story¡­¡± ¡°Story?¡± Lil hesitated and wrung her hands. I felt a flutter in the pit of my stomach to see her looking so apprehensive. ¡°Tell me, Lil.¡± ¡°¡­ there¡¯s a maid who often delivers flowers to the house of Countess Harden.¡± Mas rushed, ¡°O-of course not now! At all! It¡¯s been a long time since flowers were delivered there!¡± ¡°Mas,¡± Lil hissed, glaring at Mas. ¡®Yesterday I talked to Yuri, who delivered flowers to the Countess of Harden, and she just laughed.¡¯ Then I remembered their conversation from before when I overheard them speaking behind the stairs. ¡°So, Lil?¡± Even I was surprised to hear the tremble in my voice. It¡¯s been a while since I heard the name ¡®Harden,¡¯ and it felt like my throat was closing up. Lil bit her lips, her shoulders shaking. [1]Aelle said ¡°?????¡± while Takan said ¡°???????¡±. Aelle¡¯s tone is casual, while Takan¡¯s is more formal/respectful. CH 26 Warning: Heavy themes. I added the possibly triggering themes at the bottom of the chapter, so read it first if you don¡¯t mind getting spoiled. ¡°That child went to the florist and met the employees of Countess Harden. I happened to hear them talking¡­¡± ¡°You did?¡± My fingertips trembled, and I could almost hear my heartbeat at how much it raced. My body was still responding to the name ¡®Harden.¡¯ Lil took a deep breath and closed her eyes. ¡°The Duke is staying at the Countess¡¯ mansion¡­¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± As soon as I asked the question, I burst into short, unstable breaths. It couldn¡¯t be. Bring Yuri. She must have heard wrong. What did they talk about¨Cwords I wanted to say just wandered in my head but refused to come out of my mouth. No matter how hard I tried, I only continued to gasp and catch my breath. Advertisements In the end, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. My body staggered as if it was about to collapse, but I struggled to straighten my body. ¡°M-Madam¡­¡± ¡°What do we do, Lil?¡± With my eyes closed, I could hear Mars shuffling her feet. Lil knelt on the bedside and looked up at me. ¡°I¡¯ll call the doctor.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Lil must have recognized that the situation was serious when I didn¡¯t answer, and she hurriedly stood up. Then, just as Lil started walking away, I put my exasperated emotions into my voice and said, ¡°Everything you just said, do you know you can be held accountable whether it¡¯s true or not?¡± Lil turned around, eyes wide. Mas¡¯s shoulders started trembling at my words, and Lil looked away as if conflicted. Then, a moment later, she looked back at me, her expression determined, and answered, ¡°Yes.¡± If she knew that and still told me what she just said, it wouldn¡¯t be just baseless hearsay. Even so, I still didn¡¯t know if it was true. ¡°Get out.¡± ¡°B-but¡­¡± Mas hesitated, staring at my complexion. I didn¡¯t have to look in the mirror to know my condition¨C disheveled hair, unfocused eyes, a pale face, and trembling lips. My vision turned dark, and I fought to keep my eyes open. I gripped the bed linen and bowed down. ¡°Call Laura.¡± ¡°Yes, I will,¡± Lil bowed and grabbed Mas¡¯s wrist, dragging her out of the bedroom. Click¨C. As soon as the door closed, my body twisted into the bed. I didn¡¯t have any strength left. ¡°Ah¡­¡± I groaned and struggled in pain. A while ago, I had felt a slight discomfort in my abdomen, but now it heightened to excruciating pain as if someone was squeezing my organs. ¡°Ugh.¡± I gripped my stomach with both hands as I swallowed a moan. I struggled to breathe, and soon, tears began to fall and wet the bed. Advertisements I couldn¡¯t erase the image of Kyle and Hari together in my mind. No. He couldn¡¯t. They must have heard wrong. I wanted to call Yuri to check the facts, but I didn¡¯t have the physical or mental space to do that. ¡°Madam!¡± I could hear Laura¡¯s voice in the distance. ¡°Lil, Mas! Call a doctor now!¡± Laura held me in her arms as she screamed, but I could barely hear it from the ringing in my ear. Only one thing plagued my mind¨C What if their words were true, what if he went to Hari? ¡°Madam!¡± ¡®No, not me. It doesn¡¯t matter what happened to me. Just the child. Just my baby,¡¯ I thought just before I passed out. Please don¡¯t be cruel to my child, Kyle. I let go of my dark thoughts and lost consciousness. ¡°Madam¡­¡± ¡°Laura, what did you just say?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so sorry, Madam.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t just apologize. Say it properly.¡± I grabbed Laura¡¯s shoulders and shook her. My grip was so firm that I had almost forgotten how weak I was a while ago. Shortly after I opened my eyes, Laura suddenly said something unbelievable. I almost laughed at how absurd it was. Laura continued to apologize, not giving me the answer I wanted. I lost my baby? Me? When I got off the bed, I only noticed that I was wearing a different outfit than a while ago. Everything was the same; only the clothes were different. Everything¡¯s the same¡­ ¡°No, no.¡± I rubbed my clothes with my palm as I tried to look for something. I lifted my clothes, looked at the bed, threw the pillows, then I took my trembling hand to my stomach. I stroked my stomach and babbled words even I couldn¡¯t understand¨C whether I was saying my name, Kyle, or God. For a moment, I swallowed my incoherent noises. I have to go. I¡¯ll have to go to the Harden mansion to see for myself. ¡°I¡¯m going.¡± I crawled out of bed and groaned. My vision remained blurry due to vertigo, and my body felt like lead. Why was it so hard to reach the door? My body refused to follow my mind. ¡°Madam, where are you going?¡± I managed to croak out, ¡°To the Harden mansion.¡± Laura supported me and tried to usher me back to bed, but I pushed her away. Advertisements I didn¡¯t know whether it was day or night or whether I was still on earth or in heaven. I didn¡¯t even know how to leave this place and go to the Harden mansion. But I had to go. ¡°I want to go to the Countess of Harden¡­ I have to¡­¡± ¡°You can¡¯t.¡± Suddenly, Takan opened the door and appeared. Takan, who looked bigger than usual, blocked me from leaving the room. I glared at him before trying to move again. ¡°Get out of my way.¡± ¡°You need to rest¡­¡± ¡°I have to see it with my own eyes!¡± I trembled and screamed. The sound that came out of me didn¡¯t seem like it was mine. ¡°I have to¡­¡± My sobs turned into hiccups. Still trembling, I raised my hand and held on to Takan. ¡°Please, please,¡± I muttered, leaning on him. Not long after, I heard a voice that seemed to be holding back, ¡°I¡¯ll take you there.¡± After that, everything else was a blur. All I remember was leaning on someone and climbing into the saddle of a horse. The view shook to the point of making me dizzy. ¡°We¡¯ve arrived.¡± When I was young, I wanted to travel on horseback. Whenever the thought of abandoning Father and running away came to me, I suppressed it, saying I shouldn¡¯t, and endured. I would then imagine I was an adult and would go on a trip with a friend. Did my imagination come true? I only came to my senses when we arrived at the Harden mansion. I didn¡¯t want to come to this place on horseback. Takan got off the horse, held my waist, and brought me to the ground with ease. When I lost my balance and staggered, Takan grabbed my shoulder. I looked around and only realized where I was after the cold wind hit my face. It finally sunk in what I was thinking and what I did. Advertisements Yes, I¡¯ve gone crazy. I¡¯ve lost a child and gone crazy. My actions insulted not only Kyle but also Hari. It¡¯s already over between them. Kyle said he was coming, so he¡¯ll be back soon. I shook my head, blaming myself. Feeling calmer, I tapped the back of Takan¡¯s hand that was holding my shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Takan. Let¡¯s go back.¡± Yes, maybe it was better not to see anything. I had to hold on to the last hope. The hope that if God hadn¡¯t abandoned me, I wouldn¡¯t lose my child and Kyle. The hope that Lil and Mas simply hated me and told a horrendous lie. ¡°Madam.¡± At that moment, I heard Takan¡¯s sharp inhale. The sound made my heart drop to the floor. I should go back. But contrary to my thoughts, my body moved first. My gaze rose and remained glued to a particular direction. There were Kyle and Hari, talking a walk in the garden dimly lit by servants holding lamps. I stared as the two of them stood face-to-face, smiling. There was nothing in their way. TW: Miscarriage, panic attack, mental breakdown Not gonna lie¡­ I was dreading translating this chapter when I first skimmed through it. CH 27 ¡°Kyle.¡± Why are you¨C. Words that couldn¡¯t come out of my mouth were scattered in the air. Even though denying the situation didn¡¯t make it any less true, I shook my head and looked around. Don¡¯t cry. Don¡¯t cry. ¡°Huu¡­¡± I covered my ears with both hands. When I shook my head while scratching my face, my tears fell to my feet. Did he hear my voice? Kyle¡¯s eyes were now fixed on me. ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡®Say what you want.¡¯ ¡®I heard that having a child is hard on a mother¡¯s body.¡¯ ¡®I¡¯ll be back.¡¯ Your kindness made me expect. Sometimes I was drunk on the vain hope that you would love me. If I hadn¡¯t expected it, I wouldn¡¯t have felt like the ground collapsed and eroded. ¡°Aelle!¡± Advertisements My vision darkened, and my body drained of strength. It felt like an endless fall into a dark and gloomy abyss. The last thing I saw was the gray sky that reminded me of Kyle¡¯s eyes. ¡°How is her condition?¡± Kyle urgently asked the moment the doctor moved away from Aelle¡¯s body. But, unlike his usual calm tone, his voice trembled. Aelle, lying still on the bed, looked incredibly pale. The only proof of life was her soft sound of breathing. The doctor shook his head, wrinkles appearing on his forehead. ¡°Madam miscarried and overworked her body¡­¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes widened, and he turned to the doctor. His bloodshot eyes shook. ¡°Miscarried?¡± He asked, his voice trembling. Laura stepped forward, her face painted in anguish, and bowed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I haven¡¯t been able to tell you because everything happened so fast.¡± A short breath escaped Kyle¡¯s lips. He covered his mouth and looked back at Aelle. Her appearance hasn¡¯t changed since he last saw her a month ago. Her hands, laid neatly on the bed, were skin and bones. Her neck, which looked like it would fit in one hand, was so thin, it was as if it would break if he applied force. He couldn¡¯t tell the difference between when she was pregnant and when she wasn¡¯t. They lost a child. Kyle understood it in theory, but the situation didn¡¯t really sink in, that life once existed. Two images flashed in his mind¨C One of Aelle was in the garden, smiling brightly with her hand on her stomach, and the other of her at the Harden mansion, collapsing in shock. Kyle gritted his teeth and clenched his fist. His chest burned, and a strange feeling rose; what it was, he didn¡¯t know. Just as he was looking away, Aelle¡¯s dark hair against her pale skin caught his eye. Kyle instinctively reached out his hand but stopped midway. Eyebrows creasing, he looked away. He couldn¡¯t stand seeing Aelle lying there like a corpse. Kyle roughly rubbed his face and turned around. ¡°Your Grace,¡± seemingly concerned about Kyle¡¯s condition, Laura approached and followed him, but with a single gesture, she stopped. Advertisements Kyle eventually left the bedroom and walked aimlessly. After a long time, Takan suddenly blocked his way. ¡°Kyle.¡± Takan, who had always been immaculately dressed as a butler, looked like a mess after riding a horse. Takan clenched his teeth and wiped his face in frustration. ¡°Kyle, at least tell me why.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Why were you there?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°What did we see?¡± Takan¡¯s voice broke. When Kyle merely stared at him, he shut his mouth. The tension was thick between them as they stared at each other. ¡°Takan.¡± Then, Kyle let out a deep sigh and ruffled his hair in frustration. His black hair rippled like ink and poured down his forehead. His unkempt look was a rare sight. ¡°Stand down.¡± Takan closed his eyes and clenched his fist when he heard the stern voice. His hands shook, and he felt like he wanted to explode. Takan, who stood next to Kyle on the battlefield, knew his temper well. This was a warning. He did the same before beheading the enemy who was charging at him. ¡®Stand down,¡¯ he¡¯d said. It was a very generous warning. ¡°¡­¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes turned to Takan¡¯s clenched fists for a moment before falling away. He then walked past him and walked down the empty hallway. ¡°D*mn it.¡± Advertisements Takan¡¯s eyes darkened, and he turned towards Aelle¡¯s bedroom. The one room he couldn¡¯t enter. ¡°Ha,¡± I sighed before opening my eyes. This place seemed familiar. Light penetrated through the balcony window, illuminating the bed, and I watched as dust floated in the air. I slowly lifted my palms, and the sunlight shone across them. Did I like the sun, or did I hate it? I didn¡¯t even know anymore. Why was I here? Why did I have to work so hard? What did I gain, and at what cost? When my gaze wandered, it inadvertently landed on a vase with a sunflower. Its petals have fallen under the vase. Oh, it¡¯s withered away. I watched the scene indifferently until the sun had set. ¡°Aelle,¡± Kyle called through the door. His tone sounded as if he was asking for permission to enter, but I didn¡¯t answer. I didn¡¯t know how much time had passed. I didn¡¯t want to know. I felt like something had escaped from me. There was no willingness to do something, no desire to do anything, and no existence to attach my heart to. At dawn, while everyone was asleep, I stood like an emotionless wooden doll and gazed around the room. The world looked black and white. Tears poured down my face, but I didn¡¯t know what or who I was crying for. Laura found like that every night, held me in her arms, and cried with me. One day, anger bubbled to the surface. I didn¡¯t know why I was furious, and one day, while I was hitting my chest with my fist, I remembered the child who died because of me. Everyone said comforting words to me, but I didn¡¯t know and didn¡¯t want to know why they did. Was there even a reason to be sad when I never saw the child¡¯s face anyway? But I was curious. What kind of child would they have been if they were born? Would he have resembled me or Kyle? Where did the dead child go? No, did it exist in the first place? If life disappeared so easily, why was I alive and not dead yet? Was there any reason for me to live? My mind would get jumbled every time I thought about my child, so I decided to stop thinking. But then I started pondering once more. Why did I live? I live because I was born. But have I ever lived for myself? Advertisements ¡°That day.¡± Yes, from the moment I met him, I decided to live for myself. I regretted it. The life I chose wasn¡¯t for me. If I hadn¡¯t married him, I wouldn¡¯t have felt such pain that I wanted to die. Then suddenly, it became clear to me why I was crying. Ah, I was regretting my choice. ¡°I want to erase that day.¡± The memories came rushing into my head. It was the first time I had ever seen a man cry so pitifully. With his back to the sun, the man knelt and placed his hand on his chest, clenching his teeth and sobbing as if he didn¡¯t care about the dignity of aristocrats. He was more saddened by the death of the deceased than anyone else. Distorted face, disheveled clothes, dazzling dark hair in the sunlight. As tears fell from his eyes and soaked the meadow, I realized. I saw something I shouldn¡¯t have. Oh, I¡¯ll be tethered to that man for the rest of my life. That emotion I felt, I knew it would be with me for eternity. Even if that¡¯s person¡¯s heart belonged to another. It was cruel to one¡¯s self to hope and live with a broken heart. Foolishly enough, I chose such a life. Thinking of him was my priority; taking care of myself was second. I lived my life hoping that his heart would turn to me, not realizing how futile it was to beg for his love. Now that I thought about it, it was senseless. Did I have to continue this love until I lost myself? Courage that came from delusion and ignorance was too much to bear. CH 28 Kyle Harace. The man I married and the hero of war. At a young age, he revived his family¡¯s noble status. I still couldn¡¯t forget the day I first saw Kyle two years ago. It was like a vision. ¡°Aelle.¡± Kyle¡¯s gentle call coaxed me out of the illusion. It was only then that I realized I had been crying. When I turned, I saw Kyle¡¯s hand approaching me, and so I quickly wiped the tears away with the back of my hands. If I didn¡¯t, he would have probably done it for me. I turned my face away from Kyle¡¯s hand, then he dropped it and moved away. How ridiculous. You deceived me with your fickle kindness and fueled my heart to hope in vain. ¡°Your Grace.¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes widened in surprise at the distant way I addressed him. His eyes trembled for a moment, and he clenched his fist and shook his head. Ironically, his eyes were filled with sadness and guilt. Why? I finally realized my situation and wanted to live a new life. I looked on at his guilt with indifference. Advertisements ¡°Aelle, that day¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t explain.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m not curious.¡± Kyle, who rarely lost composure, looked stricken. So he could actually make a face like that because of me. I didn¡¯t have any feelings for him, but I had to admit it pleased me. On the other hand, his eyes were filled with sadness, and I scoffed at it. I didn¡¯t know what he was sad about. I glared at him. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, Your Grace.¡± ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°The reason I¡¯m crying isn¡¯t because of you, nor because of the child.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m crying because I feel sorry for what I¡¯ve been doing for years.¡± So. ¡®Please, marry me, Your Grace.¡¯ ¡°Please, divorce me, Your Grace.¡± Kyle frowned and lowered his head. His gaze slipped away from me, and he stood. ¡°I¡¯ll call for a doctor.¡± ¡°Please, divorce me.¡± ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°Please, divorce me.¡± ¡°Aelle, stop!¡± I whispered my plea over and over again. Kyle clenched his teeth, rubbed his face in frustration, and sighed. ¡°Aelle, you need stability. It hasn¡¯t been long since you got your energy back¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯m more fine now than I¡¯ve ever been. No, I¡¯m rather grateful to you. I finally came to my senses,¡± I cut him off for the first time. Kyle sighed and turned around as if he had decided that I was incapable of having a proper conversation. Advertisements ¡°I¡¯ll call the doctor, so rest.¡± Nothing changed. Even if Kyle called a doctor, even if he returned, even if the world changed, there was only one thing I wanted. ¡°Madam, the sun has risen. You must get up.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°The doctor said you should live life as usual.¡± Laura woke me up from my deep sleep. I slept all day without even eating or talking except when I asked Kyle for divorce. It was nice not to think about anything when I fell asleep. One day, Laura hovered her finger under my nose to check if I was breathing or not. Another day, Lil and Mas were there, and another, Kyle leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, as he stared intently at me. ¡®Please, divorce me.¡¯ I didn¡¯t speak, but the words repeated in my mind. I looked at Laura, Lil, and Mas. I was glad they stayed. If not, it would have added to the pain of losing my child and the loneliness of being left behind by my husband. Lil and Mas were unexpected. They hated me initially, so I thought word would spread among the employees in no time. Later, I figured that Kyle ordered them to stay quiet. ¡°Madam, I brought you a meal.¡± Laura¡¯s voice freed me from my thoughts. I propped my arms to try and lift myself, but my body collapsed back to the bed. Laura made a pitiful noise before supporting me to lean against the headboard. ¡°Madam still doesn¡¯t have energy, so I¡¯ll feed you.¡± Laura sat by the bedside, holding a tray of mushroom soup. Laura scooped soup with the spoon, supported its bottom with her palm, and brought it to my mouth. ¡°Madam¡­¡± I shook my head, and Laura groaned, putting the spoon down. Laura put the tray on the side table and grabbed my hands, almost desperate. As she bowed her head to hide her bitter feelings, her white hair stood out. Advertisements Mas, who was quietly observing the situation, approached with a sunflower. She held the flower, her shoulders drooped, and her eyes bloodshot; she was the perfect picture of someone mourning the death of the deceased. To Mas, I must have looked like a dead person. If I was neither alive nor dead, then what was I? All of a sudden, I thought it was worthless. ¡°Madam, it¡¯s the sunflower you liked. It¡¯s bloomed so tall and beautiful,¡± Mas said, holding out the flower. I only stared at her, crying and gripping the sunflower, and did nothing to receive it. Before long, the sunflower in her grasp was twisted. ¡°Madam¡­¡± Mas buried her face in her hands and sobbed. ¡°Mas,¡± Laura called Mas sternly, pulling her away from me. I heard Laura scold Mas. She told her that if the maids cry, the mother, who is in sorrow after losing her child, will have a hard time crying. Instead, they should be consoling the Madam, she said. Consolation. Did I need to be consoled? I was fine, except that my mind and body felt like they were stuck underwater. They seemed to have misunderstood that I was heartbroken after losing the child. Why did they think so? I was fine. All I had to do was leave this mansion and start a new life. But what¡¯s new? I couldn¡¯t be reborn anyway. ¡°Madam.¡± Lil came over and handed me a smooth wooden box. She didn¡¯t speak further even when I just stared at her, so I decided to open it. Inside were the baby clothes I had sewn while waiting for Kyle. Laura said they all looked the same, but to me, they were all had different uses¨C one to wrap the baby for the first time, another to use after washing the baby for the first time, and another to put on the baby before holding them in her arms for the first time. The room was quiet as everyone stared at me. I glanced at them, took the box in my arms, and pulled myself out of bed. My vision shook, and my ears rang the moment I stood up but felt better when I shook my head vigorously. Laura stopped me from moving further. ¡°Madam, where are you going¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to throw it away.¡± Laura¡¯s eyes fell helplessly to the box. Advertisements ¡°I don¡¯t need it anymore,¡± I whispered and staggered towards the door. I could hear Laura sobbing behind me. I stopped moving like a broken thread and turned around. The first thing that caught my eye when I did was a book lying on the console. ¡®Forest of Quetrey.¡¯ ¡°Madam, we¡¯ll do it.¡± Lil came over and took the box. I stared blankly at the pile of books, my eyes lit up in silence. When I was young, Father called my big brother a ¡®d*mn geek.¡¯ As if proving my father¡¯s words, my brother sometimes confused me with strange words and actions, but I liked him. He always carried a book around, and he would give me interesting stories that Father didn¡¯t tell me. It was the day when my brother and I fled to the attic to avoid my father¡¯s unprovoked beating. As always, Father was hurting my brother, and I held onto Father¡¯s pants and begged for forgiveness, not even knowing what we had done wrong. ¡®It¡¯s okay, so don¡¯t cry, Aelle.¡¯ I sobbed as I stared at my brother¡¯s swollen face, and he comforted me by holding me in his arms. ¡®Aelle, did you know?¡¯ ¡®Hic, uh, know what?¡¯ ¡®There are things in the world that can only be lived by dying.¡¯ ¡®Lies. How can one live when they¡¯re dead?¡¯ ¡®Aelle, you just don¡¯t know.¡¯ ¡®What don¡¯t I know?¡¯ ¡®Good memories become memories, but bad memories live only when they die.¡¯ My brother¡¯s empty eyes crossed the sun and stared at the corner of the attic. What did he mean, ¡® memories die?¡¯ I couldn¡¯t believe I had to die to live. At that time, I thought Brother must have lied again. He often did that, lie and trick me with nonsense. Advertisements However, as time passed and I reflected on the vague memories, it seemed that in the corner of the attic where young Aelle followed her brother, there was a book called ¡®Forest of Quetrey.¡¯ Maybe my brother always carried around books with him to distract himself from his suffering. Even the story he told me with tears running down his cheeks and bruises on his eyelids from Father¡¯s violence must have been a kind of escape. Since when had he been suffering? I was less sorry to think that he was a geek and dismissed his actions as weird. If not, it would mean that my brother had a difficult life at a young age. CH 29 I said something my brother wouldn¡¯t even be able to hear. ¡®Brother, I think I understand the meaning of those words now.¡¯ How long have you suffered? Is that why you didn¡¯t look for me? Are you happy now that you erased your memory and forgot about Father and me? No, I know, even if you don¡¯t answer. So, Brother, I want to do the same. Like the young me who used to follow you around, I¡¯ll try to follow you again. ¡°Brother.¡± I struggled to open my eyes. The ¡®Forest of Quetrey¡¯ was still laid out on the side table where I first saw it. The book looked old, as if it had accumulated dust for having been untouched for many years. After reading the book, Forest of Quetray was an unrealistic oral tradition. Quetray was a being abandoned both by heavenly and evil spirits. He, who came down to the human world and deceived the human mind, was given a life sentence, sealed in the human forest. His soul, tied to a chain, left behind an hourglass. According to stories passed on from one generation to the next, flipping the hourglass deep in the forest could erase the memories of their choosing, and that people who had painful memories had actually turned the hourglass and lived happily. However, a scholar asserted that the ¡®Forest of Quetray¡¯ existed in the southwest region about a few decades ago. It was an area where strange creatures often appeared and were frequented by people. As if to prove his claim, the scholar found the hourglass, but after that, he never returned. In turn, it became an opportunity for people to believe his claims. Advertisements Was that why? People have expressed their desire to enter the forest, but no one claimed that they¡¯d found the hourglass. Or maybe they just lost their memory. Would my memories die if I went there? No, there might be other results. For example, monsters could eat me, I could disappear or die. However, there was nothing more painful for me than living with memories. ¡°That way, I can forget the baby. I can forget him,¡± I whispered, the words pouring out like a lullaby. Let¡¯s erase everything and go live in a place we don¡¯t know. Let¡¯s start like that. As my mind wandered, I fell asleep. I didn¡¯t know how much time had passed; all I knew was it was a quiet night. I looked around when I woke up and saw Kyle¡¯s back as he stared at the moon outside the balcony window. While staring at him, I asked a question that suddenly came to mind, ¡°Why won¡¯t you divorce me?¡± My voice came out harsh as if stones scratched against my throat. Kyle turned and looked at me lying on the bed. Looking at it now, I didn¡¯t like his eyes at all. Why was it gray? I couldn¡¯t tell what was in his eyes, and it often made me nervous. ¡°Your Grace, I don¡¯t have anything, so I don¡¯t need anything.¡± Kyle lowered his gaze to his feet and slightly shook his head. I didn¡¯t know why he was shaking his head. I didn¡¯t even know what he was doing in the dark, the moonlight on his shoulders. Advertisements Such trivial things were no longer important¡ªwhatever emotion or purpose that was once vital to me. After I talked about divorce, I thought he would give it to me right away, but instead, he stayed silent and didn¡¯t give me a definite answer. Since I mentioned divorce first, he probably hoped I could hide the reason for divorce so he could marry Hari before a scandal could arise¡­ Ah, maybe. ¡°Is it because of the Countess of Harden?¡± It was a surprisingly flat tone. Have I ever mentioned her name so shrewdly? No, I haven¡¯t. I couldn¡¯t stop the self-deprecating laugh that came out. ¡°Aelle.¡± Did it make him uncomfortable that I just mentioned her name? Kyle took a breath and closed his eyes. I sat up and tucked the flowing hair behind my ears. ¡°If you¡¯re worried that I¡¯ll make a fool of you, don¡¯t worry.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to the forest of Quetray.¡± At that moment, Kyle looked up, his eyes wide. It was the first time I had seen him greatly agitated. A question came to mind, but I wasn¡¯t curious enough to ask. He slowly made his way to the bedside. ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°I will go to the forest of Quetray and erase all my memories.¡± His pace quickened. ¡°I¡¯ll go to the forest of Quetray and forget everything¨C¡± ¡°Aelle!¡± He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. His breathing was unstable and rapid, much like his urgent steps. After a while, his breathing became steady, and he sighed. He moved his neck and swallowed his raging emotions. ¡°Don¡¯t you know you could die if you go there? I know you¡¯re heartbroken over losing the baby, but that¡¯s like committing suicide.¡± I looked up to see Kyle¡¯s gray eyes. Die, me? Yes, I might not succeed like Brother. No, maybe my brother didn¡¯t even go into the forest. However. Advertisements ¡°Then I¡¯ll have to die.¡± A calm voice came out that surprised even me. ¡°Aelle.¡± Kyle¡¯s grip on me loosened, and his hands fell to his side. Death. I wasn¡¯t afraid of such a thing. What I was afraid of was just to remember and live. Just because I wouldn¡¯t remember it doesn¡¯t mean that others would forget, but I thought I could live only by forgetting. Did I look ugly? Was I too unsightly? Kyle covered his eyes, and again, he sighed. ¡°Tell me what you want. I¡¯ll do anything you want.¡± I blinked. Somehow, talking to him right now felt frustrating and tiresome. It was a thought that would shock me if it was me from the past. ¡°I don¡¯t want anything else. Please divorce me.¡± ¡°Aelle.¡± Please divorce me. I swallowed the words I wanted to say again. I held my tongue instinctively as I watched the sight of his hair shaking like ink. For some reason, I didn¡¯t think I could say any more. Why are you doing this? It was an unexpected reaction. How strange. Wouldn¡¯t it be good for him if I went to the Quetray forest and lost my memory or died? Kyle, Laura, Lil, and Mars. Everyone was weird. What on earth was wrong with me that they were acting like I was going to die? Even as Kyle moved away and left the bedroom, I stared blankly into the air and thought. I couldn¡¯t understand them at all. *** On a quiet night when everyone was asleep, Kyle stared at the letter on the desk. ¡¸ Louis, when are you coming back? I miss you. ¡¹ Kyle covered his eyes with his hand. The reality that he wanted to turn a blind eye seemed to be weighing down on him. Losing Louis and falling into depression, Hari smiled cheerfully, deliberately hiding her feelings. Hari had attempted suicide the year she lost Louis. One day, she was frantic, then the next, she didn¡¯t speak a single word. The employees were worried at their master¡¯s erratic mood swings. ¡®Kyle, I keep hearing Louis¡¯ voice.¡¯ ¡®Hari.¡¯ ¡®Be honest with me, Kyle. Louis is alive, right? Right?¡¯ She often suffered from visual and auditory hallucinations, so Kyle had to keep his eye on her. One day, she heard a whisper that Louis was alive, so she tried to cut off her ear. Fortunately, a servant saw it and stopped her, otherwise, Hari would have lost her ear. Hari said that wherever she went, people looked at her with pity. She said she could hear people saying she had a sad and tragic life. But contrary to Hari¡¯s claim, no one said such a thing. Advertisements She put on a mask, smiled brightly, and became a different person. The Count of Harden died, and his wife went crazy. Such words were often heard among employees. So she hired someone, and without saying a word to Kyle, headed to Quetray Forest. When Hari heard about Kyle and Ael¡¯s relationship in the library, she was furious that those she believed were friends had sympathized with and deceived her. Hari poured out her anger and pushed him. ¡®Did you feel sorry for me? Or do you think I¡¯ll blame you for killing Louis?¡¯ ¡®It¡¯s not like that.¡¯ ¡®How do you see me? Do you think I¡¯m crazy, too? Did you want to make me a friend?¡¯ ¡®Hari, it¡¯s not like that.¡¯ ¡®Or is it your guilt of killing Louis¨C¡¯ Startled, Hari stopped, covering her mouth with her hand. Her eyelashes fluttered, and she closed her eyes in regret. ¡®I¡¯m sorry, Kyle. I didn¡¯t think like this. It¡¯s just¡­¡¯ Hari bit her lip and buried her face in her hands. CH 30 ¡®Just¡­¡¯ He knew he had to hold Hari in his arms and comfort her, who was shaking as if she was about to collapse, but strangely enough, Kyle didn¡¯t move. He wondered if the feeling he had been holding onto for so long was destroyed or weathered, but seeing that he was sad to see her crying, it didn¡¯t seem like that. ¡®Hari.¡¯ ¡®Never mind, I¡¯d rather not explain. Because I found a way.¡¯ Hari suddenly lifted her face, her eyes shining with expectations and liberation. ¡®Quetray Forest, I¡¯m going to go there and erase my memories.¡¯ ¡®Are you saying you¡¯re going to forget Louis?¡¯ Hari¡¯s eyes trembled as she stayed quiet for a moment, and eventually, she burst into tears. She really wanted to get out of the pain of losing Louis, even if she had to do it that way. ¡®I¡¯ll forget you and Louis.¡¯ Hari left the mansion and disappeared. ¡®Quetray Forest¡¯ The words that came out of Hari¡¯s mouth weren¡¯t unfamiliar. Every citizen of the Empire knew that place. Advertisements It was a forest visited by those who had given up on their lives due to unrealistic and wondrous forces. Aelle only knew that it was a place where one could erase their memories. Yes, Kyle thought the same thing. Until Hari, who disappeared one day, returned as a different person. ¡®Louis?¡¯ ¡®Hari.¡¯ ¡®Louis, you¡¯re back alive!¡¯ Hari, who came back alive after going to the forest of Quetray, called Kyle ¡®Louis.¡¯ No matter how much he explained, she would only understand it at that time, but the oblivion would continue, making it impossible for the fragments of her memory to continue. ¡®Louis, I love you.¡¯ When he was young, he thought he wanted to be Louis. But why? Now, greed and affection were weathered, and all that was left was guilt that Louis sacrificed his life for his. ¡®Louis, you¡¯re not going to leave me, right? Will you stay with me?¡¯ Hari sometimes cried like a child, screamed, and even attempted suicide. Kyle, who thought it was a miracle just for Hari to return alive without dying, couldn¡¯t leave her alone. Following the doctor¡¯s opinion, Kyle kept her employees in check and stayed at the mansion. If rumors spread that Hari had gone insane, the Count Harden¡¯s title and all of his property would be passed on to his vassals. Kyle shook off his thoughts and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. ¡°It will take time for Hari to fully recover.¡± Knock, knock-. At that moment, Laura knocked on the office door. When time passed and no one answered, she took it as approval and grabbed the doorknob. When Laura entered the room and approached Kyle, he saw her holding onto a wooden box as if it were a treasure. ¡°Madam told me to throw it away, but I just couldn¡¯t¡­¡± Laura¡¯s voice broke as she trailed off. Laura placed the box on his desk, staring at it for a moment before stepping back and leaving. Click¨C. Advertisements Kyle only looked up after he heard the door shut. He picked up the box and opened it, seeing neatly laid-out clothes Aelle had touched. Dull eyes swept through the clothes with boredom. ¡°Child.¡± The child was a creature he hadn¡¯t seen, touched, or embraced. So, even if the baby died, he certainly had nothing to lose. But instead, he felt as if he had lost something important to the unknown. Kyle had to take it easy. He doubted and censored himself. The moment he found traces of his parents in himself, he distanced himself from Aelle. He was afraid of his bloodline, and he wasn¡¯t confident that he would not become someone like his parents. At the same time, he was curious. What kind of child was the one he could no longer meet? Did the child resemble him or Aelle? Each time he found himself thinking that way, he couldn¡¯t recognize himself. ¡°What the h*ll is a child?¡± What did a child mean for him to feel this way? Why did he have to endure the feeling of loss and guilt and be crushed mentally and physically? Kyle gripped the box. Kyle was used to loss. He had always lived his life like that. He lived to lose someone. He had lost his parents, lost a close friend, and just when he thought Hari was the only thing he could lose, Aelle suddenly happened. Just as she used him, he used her as a shield to hide his feelings for Hari. But at some point, things became blurred. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I just am.¡± [1] She shed tears like a child abandoned in the rain. ¡°Let me call Your Grace by your name.¡± [2] Her surprisingly greedy eyes were clear. ¡°Kyle.¡± Sometimes when he¡¯d look around, their eyes would meet, and he would see her smile. Whenever those gloomy and miserable eyes touched him, he felt as if he had the world. Kyle turned away from her, illuminated by sunlight, and suddenly asked a question. Obviously, she desperately wanted something, but if it wasn¡¯t money or power, what did she really want? Unable to find an answer, Kyle rubbed his skin and furrowed his black eyebrows. ¡®It was the first time I had seen Madam so angry.¡¯ From that day on, Aelle woke up every night, curled into herself until dawn, or let out endless silent cries. One day, he went to visit Aelle after Laura¡¯s brief report. ¡®Baby¡­ Baby¡­¡¯ The mournful calls leaking out of the bedroom stopped Kyle in his tracks. Kyle couldn¡¯t turn her away or comfort her but just stood outside her door until her voice faded. Aelle lost her child and lamented over it all day long. She didn¡¯t speak to Kyle, not unless she¡¯d ask for a divorce, and she no longer waited for him. Advertisements Kyle grabbed the clothes, his knuckles turning white. He thought of Aelle, who was so withered that it felt like she would die right away. No matter how hard he tried to water her, it didn¡¯t work. ¡®She only asks for one thing.¡¯ ¡®Please divorce me.¡¯ Kyle felt the ground collapse the moment he heard her request. ¡®Why won¡¯t you divorce me?¡¯ He chuckled darkly at her question. Even if she said it a hundred times, she still wouldn¡¯t be able to understand his feelings, which he didn¡¯t even know himself. The only thing that Kyle knew was that Aelle, who came into his life, must not die and that he should prevent her from going to Quetray forest. ¡®Then I¡¯ll have to die.¡¯[3] Suddenly, a voice without a hint of regret rang through his mind. In the stillness, Kyle found her voice from far away. From the chilling sound of leaves from the window. ¡®Kyle.¡¯ Her voice was clear and sweet. ¡°The child said, ¡®Sweetheart, I¡¯m fine. Last night, I dreamed of my father, and tonight, my mother. They both patted my hair. So, I¡¯m not alone.''¡± I heard a monotonous voice in my sleep. As I listened without knowing who it was, I was able to concentrate. It was a quiet and lonely voice. ¡°The moon said, ¡®The two are not by your side. So, go to the moon with me. You can¡¯t dream when you go there, but there are so many fun things.''¡± With a groan, I tossed and turned, and the voice stopped. Then, after a while, the voice continued. ¡°The child said, ¡®If I can¡¯t dream, I don¡¯t want to go. If I can¡¯t see my father and mother, I don¡¯t need the moon. So will you take the grandmother from that red brick house? She¡¯ll be lonely.¡± I heard the sound of a page being turned. ¡°Then the moon lost its light and disappeared. Someday your dream will eat you away. It was like a curse. The child stared at the moon and said¨C¡± ¡°What are you doing?¡± Silence prevailed. I opened my eyes and stared at Kyle, sitting on the bedside chair and reading a book. Without any hint of surprise, he put the book on the bedside table. ¡°I just read the rest of the book you were reading.¡± It was a story that I couldn¡¯t tell my baby. No one would listen, so what¡¯s the use? I smiled softly and shook my head. I didn¡¯t want to speak with him, so I turned around. CH 31 ¡°Aren¡¯t you curious about what the child said?¡± ¡°Please leave.¡± Even at my request, Kyle stayed there like a statue. ¡°I will always dream and live.¡± After a while, the monotonous voice that came out represented the child¡¯s last words. I was soon able to grasp his true meaning without difficulty. The dream the child spoke of was a memory, and the moon was death. It¡¯s a forest where you can erase your memories. You¡¯re laughing at me for being silly. Kyle stood from the chair and turned leisurely. I glanced at his movements. With his eyes focused on the vase, Kyle said, ¡°There¡¯s nothing to gain from erasing your memory.¡± ¡°You sound as if you¡¯ve been there,¡± I snapped. Kyle turned to me, and I saw black eyes that reminded me of ink. His eyes were devoid of color and luster. I raised my upper body and shot a sharp gaze through my messy hair. Advertisements ¡°I¡¯m not chasing lies.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a theory. Nothing¡¯s been confirmed.¡± ¡°Even if I die, it has nothing to do with you.¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes aimlessly wandered in the air. He kept his mouth shut as he moved, the moonlight illuminating his face. His face, lit by the white moonlight, looked bitter. I didn¡¯t know if it was for someone; All I knew was that it was eating at him. On the day I lost everything, did I lose my feelings, as well? I stopped caring, and I had no feelings left for him. I reluctantly closed my eyes and said, ¡°So, please, divorce me.¡± Other than that, I didn¡¯t want to talk to him anymore. With a hazy mind, I wandered through distant memories. I was about twelve years old. I remembered that Father had locked me in the closet. It was the day he returned from losing all his money, and the overwhelming smell of alcohol hit me. ¡®Follow me, Aelle!¡¯ Father grabbed me by the back, dragged me like a cattle to the slaughterhouse, and locked me in a closet. With the sound of rusty hinges, Father¡¯s ferocious eyes disappeared, and the only thing I could hear was a hammering sound. ¡®You look like your mother.¡¯ He had spat out those words and left. When I was with Brother, it terrified me to see Father beating him up, and Brother begging for forgiveness without even knowing what he had done wrong. He had crawled until his palms got hot and his knees bruised as he asked for forgiveness from Father. On the day Brother left, I memorized the words he kept repeating like a spell. ¡®Don¡¯t cry. Don¡¯t cry, Aelle.¡¯ I swallowed my tears as the voice comforted me. When I was in the same space as Father, I begged God for misfortune not to befall him because I would be the object of his anger if it did. But strangely, that day, he didn¡¯t even speak. Brother left, and so did Father. Except for me, the only creatures at home were a swarm of ants gnawing on moldy bread. Little Aelle knew it. She had no one to come to her rescue. Advertisements So I didn¡¯t cry, beg, or shout for help. I just sat there with my legs pulled up close, and I buried my face in my lap, waiting for Father to come. Just like now. ¡°Haa¡­¡± I crouched on the edge of the bed and stared into space. Without knowing the sound coming out of my mouth, I let it go. It was like a gentle hum or a mournful moan. Am I still alive? No, I definitely am. I mean, that¡¯s why I was able to think. I realized that I was alive only when I continued to think or recall memories. It was like walking through a maze. Knock, knock¨C. Someone knocked on the door, but I didn¡¯t answer or pull the string. If it were Laura or the other maids, they would have already opened the door and entered after the time had passed to do it. It meant it was a different person. Kyle, maybe. Troubled, I stared at the doorknob then looked away. My interest quickly waned like that of a fickle child. Whether it was Kyle or someone else, it was all the same to me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Was he trying to confess or something? A voice came from outside the door. The tone was familiar, so it wasn¡¯t difficult to guess who it was. I stared at the door that didn¡¯t open. ¡°Takan.¡± ¡°It¡¯s my fault.¡± He continued speaking without hesitation. ¡°Because I took you to the Count Harden¡¯s mansion¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m crazy.¡± ¡°¡­¡± His silence was a clear agreement. Even if I didn¡¯t look in the mirror, I knew how my behavior looked. Laura looked at me as if she was looking at someone who could die right away. Takan was Kyle¡¯s man. Was Kyle trying to persuade me through him? Whatever the reason was, his words weren¡¯t something that could come out of the person who belittled me. Just as I quietly doubted such a thing, I heard a voice over the door. ¡°I¡¯m not saying that.¡± It was a voice that held back emotions. I didn¡¯t know why he did, but I was sure it was arduous for him. ¡°I don¡¯t care what you say.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Because I¡¯m going to the forest of Quetray,¡± I said the same thing over and over again as if I was possessed. Advertisements A strange feeling came to mind. Yes, it was definitely the same as when I said I would go to Count Harden¡¯s mansion. Just like then, I had no way to go to the forest, just stubbornness. Will Takan stop me as he did or laugh at me and say it¡¯s a stupid delusion? As I looked around the room blankly, a desperate voice came through the door. ¡°I¡¯m here to help.¡± My eyes slowly reached the door. My eyes felt so moist that I felt like crying at any moment, so I couldn¡¯t turn a blind eye nor say yes. ¡°Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do, I will follow you.¡± Takan struggled to say those words, his voice trembling by the time he finished. Only then did I realize what he was enduring. ¡°So, please live.¡± Why he was so desperate, Takan clearly expressed his feelings with his voice. Please live. Don¡¯t die. ¡°Please.¡± Thus, he whispered in a low tone for a long time. It¡¯s a familiar sound, like a gentle hum or a mournful moan. All of my suspicions disappeared, leaving only confusion. Why would he? Why? I lowered my legs out of bed and moved. As I moved away from the cold marble¡¯s touch, my vision shook as if the mansion was shaking. Struggling, I held onto the console with both hands. I was breathing so hard that I could see my chest rising and falling. ¡°Are you okay?¡± Breathless, I asked the impatient voice outside the door, ¡°Why me¡­¡± He took a deep breath and opened his mouth again when he calmed down. ¡°You can¡¯t die.¡± Maybe the person outside the door got scared and ran away? I stared at the door and was met with silence. After a while, I turned my gaze to the flower vase before turning back to the tightly closed door. It was a dark, dreary, desolate room, as if I was trapped. Suddenly, I remembered the Aelle waiting for someone to come for her in the closet. A small, thin, helpless child. Advertisements ¡°I told you I¡¯d help you.¡± The child hasn¡¯t changed since she grew up. Still small, thin, and helpless. ¡°Alright, Takan.¡± I didn¡¯t care who helped me. It didn¡¯t matter whether it was because of sympathy for a woman who had lost a child or a primal desire that transcended it. ¡°Takan, help me.¡± I could no longer remain as the girl who gave up her fate in the closet. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with Madam? She finished eating.¡± ¡°Mas.¡± Lil shook her head and put her index finger on her lips. She kept Mas quiet but continued glancing at me. She, too, was curious about my behavior. I wasn¡¯t confident I could go to the dining room, so I asked Lil and Mas to serve me food. It was my first proper meal after a month. I cut the edges of the freshly baked bread and dip it into the soup. The bread soaked in the soup and sagged heavily, and I put it in my mouth. The last few weeks, I refused to eat, and even if I forced myself to eat something, I would only end up throwing it up. But today was different. I swallowed the food until I had to force myself to keep it down. I needed the stamina to go to Quetray forest, so I had to take in as many nutrients as I could. At that moment, I heard the door creak, and a familiar figure appeared. CH 32 ¡°Madam, you told Lil and Mars to serve you a meal¡­¡± Laura trailed off as she entered the room but, she suddenly stopped walking. ¡°Oh, my¡­¡± With a surprised look on her face, Laura came over and sat on her knees at the bedside. Her eyes shone as she stared at me eating. She looked moved, her eyes red as if she would shed tears at any moment. I pounded my chest with my fists, grabbed a glass of water and drank it. Before I knew it, I had eaten all the food on the plate. ¡°Give me more soup.¡± Mas looked blankly at the tray before leaping into action. ¡°Ah, y-yes! Yes, Madam!¡± Even Lil, who had reprimanded Mas a while ago, looked puzzled. Advertisements Laura couldn¡¯t hold back her tears and held my hand, whispering, ¡°Thank you¡­ Thank you.¡± Laura continued to express her gratitude as she knelt by the bedside and wept until Mas returned. Soon, I finished eating and headed to the library. Since I took a regular break and ate, I didn¡¯t feel dizzy even if I moved. However, it was still difficult to control myself, so I leaned on Laura as we walked through the hallway illuminated by a lamp. Lil and Mas followed, anxiously keeping their eyes on me. As I walked through the hallway, I felt the glances of the employees working. In the past, I would have gone back to the bedroom because I was too conscious of their gaze, but I no longer cared. They were merely like ornaments in the mansion. I could hear the murmurs of the maids in charge of cleaning the hallway by the bedroom. ¡°Is she okay?¡± ¡°Can you be okay in that situation? She¡¯s probably pretending to be okay.¡± Somewhere, the murmurs burst into sighs. ¡°It¡¯s so sad that she lost it without seeing its face¡­¡± ¡°Shh, they¡¯ll hear you.¡± Among them, some expressed their sympathy and regrets for me. I stopped walking when I heard one that did¨Cit was one of the maids who had her back against the wall, and her head bowed down. A fireball erupted from my chest. If it were me in the past, I would have covered my eyes and ears and pretended not to hear it, but their words made me feel a tightness in my chest. When they brought up the child, it made it impossible to ignore its existence. I shrugged off Laura¡¯s hand and walked, feeling breathless. The chattering I heard a while ago disappeared in an instant. I headed towards the maid who had been talking about me and the child. Her face had gone completely pale. ¡°What¡¯s so sad?¡± My breathing came out even more erratic, but I didn¡¯t care. Instead, I blinked slowly and widened my eyes quite fiercely. Even if I didn¡¯t want to, the child¡¯s story automatically heightened my emotions. ¡°Madam¡­¡± Surprised at my outburst, Laura approached me and tried to support me again, but I shook her hand away. Hearing the question, the maid trembled as she gripped the cloth with both hands. ¡°I asked what¡¯s so sad.¡± ¡°F-forgive me. I dared to say something presumptuous.¡± I lowered my eyes to my feet then stared at the maid bowing. I stared blankly at her for a moment, and when a surge of anger rose in me, I gritted out, ¡°Don¡¯t pity me again.¡± Advertisements ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You are not in a position to sympathize with me.¡± When I swallowed my anger and looked away, I saw Lil and Mas with their eyes wide open and mouths agape. Laura was also biting her lip. I looked around the scene indifferently and asked, ¡°Why, am I wrong again?¡± ¡°No, Madam.¡± Laura shook her head and lowered her gaze. I straightened and stared ahead, only to see Takan behind the employees. He looked agitated when our eyes met, but I soon looked away. Laura hurried and grabbed my arm to support me as I turned around. I passed Takan and looked up. The moment I passed him, rough skin touched my hand. When I came to my senses, a small piece of paper was in my hand. ¡°Are you uncomfortable anywhere?¡± Laura asked me when I stopped walking. ¡°If you¡¯re tired, we can return to your bedroom¡­¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± I clenched my fist tightly to hide the paper and moved forward. [Nobleman proposes blocking of Quetray Forest] Kyle read the letter in his hand and put it down. Finally, his hard work was about to pay off. ¡°Memories.¡± Erasing one¡¯s memories. Kyle chuckled and shook his head. It was a tempting promise that was too good to be true that penetrated people¡¯s desires. ¡°So, Hari must have believed it.¡± Kyle narrowed his eyes and rubbed his lips. The forest must be sealed off before Aelle heads there. At that moment, he heard a sound echoing through the dark hallway. Familiar with the approaching sound outside, Kyle looked up and waited for someone to enter his office. Bang¨C! The door swung open so hard that he couldn¡¯t hear the hinges when it hit the wall. When a familiar person appeared, Kyle leaned back on his seat. The back of the sleek leather chair reclined, revealing Kyle¡¯s calm face. Takan gently rubbed his eyebrows as he looked around the office, and his eyes fell on the papers on the desk. Takan twisted his mouth as if Kyle¡¯s work was absurd, and burst into laughter. ¡°This is not the time to sit down with dignity and just watch.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°So is this the way high-ranking nobles are? You don¡¯t even blink an eye even if your child dies?¡± Takan scoffed, but Kyle barely reacted. Takan sighed and rubbed his face. ¡°I knew you¡¯d gone insane when Louis died.¡± ¡°Takan.¡± ¡°But I have no intention of defending and sympathizing with your madness.¡± Perhaps he didn¡¯t hear Kyle¡¯s sharp call because Takan took off his monocle and threw it hard, the glass shattering when it hit the marble. He then took off the tie around his neck. ¡°If he can see what you¡¯re like now, you can imagine what Louis will say. Shall I tell you?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Madman.¡± Advertisements Takan shrugged and coldly shook his head. ¡°That¡¯s what you are.¡± Takan ruffled his neatly slicked back hair. After throwing out his monocle and getting rid of his tiresome outfit, the faithful servant disappeared and what was left was just Takan. He took off his coat and draped it over his shoulder, then let out a languid breath as if he was at peace. ¡°You said that when I jumped into the front lines like a crazy man and swung my sword.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Clarify the target of your anger.¡± In the past, it was Takan who couldn¡¯t let go of the anger in his heart and unleashed it on others. Takan realized only after meeting Kyle that the object of his anger wasn¡¯t the foreign soldier who killed his sister, nor was it the mark that caused the war. He was angry at himself, who couldn¡¯t save his sister as she stretched out her hand to him and died before his eyes. Takan smiled bitterly. He stepped forward, approached the wide-open door, and said, ¡°Kyle, I don¡¯t want to be angry again.¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes followed Takan. His eyes remained as calm as the sea before the storm. It was different from seeing his close friend looking cool and desolate. ¡°What do you mean?¡± Takan stopped in his staps, sighed, and turned around. He draped his cloak over his arm and bowed deeply. It was a greeting to his master, Kyle, who was no longer his close friend. ¡°I¡¯m just going to leave.¡± Takan left the office in complete silence. Kyle turned to the items scattered on the marble floor. Takan¡¯s monocle and tie didn¡¯t catch Kyle¡¯s eye, but something else did¨C it was a handkerchief that had slipped out of the sleeve of Takan¡¯s coat. A handkerchief with an unclear owner with the word ¡°Aelle¡± clearly engraved in yellow. He stood up and headed towards the cloth, picking up the handkerchief that had lost its master. ¡°Aelle,¡± He whispered to himself as he touched the place where her name was embroidered. Thousands of thoughts ran through Kyle¡¯s mind, but he came up with the most convincing one. Kyle rubbed his face and squeezed the handkerchief in his hand. Thousands of thoughts ran through Kyle¡¯s mind, but one sentence kept pestering him. Kyle rubbed his face and squeezed the handkerchief in his hand. ¡°Kyle, I don¡¯t want to be angry again.¡± He suddenly remembered seeing Takan¡¯s eyes following Aelle throughout the mansion. Even in the dining room as he escorted her, in the garden when he followed her, and when he faced Kyle as he stood helpless outside her bedroom. His eyes, as clear as the sky and as calm as the sea, seemed ready to reveal everything at any moment. In the stillness of the moonlight, Kyle clenched his teeth and slowly looked up. He hoped that his speculation was wrong. CH 33 The season was changing, and the snow that had fallen during winter was starting to melt. I¡¯ve been in the study all day, sitting in the middle of the books and documents scattered everywhere. Laura welcomed the change in me when I stopped being lethargic and became more active, but on the other hand, she was worried I had not fully recovered yet. I sat in front of my desk for half a day when Laura begged me to sit in a chair. I had stayed in the study until sunset, but I didn¡¯t find information on how to pass through the forest of Quetray safely or where the hourglass was located. As expected, I have to leave the mansion to get information. All I had was information I got from Takan¨Ca group established by Quetray Forest¡¯s believers was in the underground area called Tigra[1] and that they served as guides to the forest. I had planned to get some other information here and approach it theoretically. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. The note Takan delivered as he avoided everyone¡¯s eyes contained information about the forest, a promise that he would pick me up, and a request to collect information in the study. What was he thinking without consulting me? I narrowed my eyes and stared into the air, then gripped the book in my hand when I suddenly heard the sound of familiar footsteps. Soon after, the faint sound of hinges filled the silence, and the study door opened. Advertisements ¡°Laura said you¡¯ve cheered up recently.¡± I didn¡¯t raise my head at the familiar voice and fixed my eyes on the book. Standing in front of a bookshelf, Laura greeted Kyle and stared restlessly at me. Kyle watched me from afar without crossing the threshold of the study. After quite a while, I could feel Laura leaving. The room was so quiet that I could hear him breathe, and the sound of his footsteps approaching me echoed. ¡°When you recover, let¡¯s travel together.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I heard there¡¯s a place where your favorite flowers are in full bloom¨C¡± ¡°Your Grace,¡± I cut him off. Slam¨C. I slammed the book shut and looked up at Kyle, who had stopped moving, his expression surprised. I put down the book and stood. ¡°Ugh.¡± My vision blurred for a moment, and my center collapsed. Swallowing a groan, I placed my hands on my thighs to support myself. Kyle approached as if trying to help. ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t come near me,¡± I said, raising my hand to reject him. I caught a glimpse of his outstretched hand falling back to his side. I didn¡¯t think he would listen to me when I rejected him, but he stopped moving instantly as if he were a loyal knight. I took a deep breath then straightened. ¡°Your Grace, I have a request.¡± His gray eyes darkened like the moon covered by clouds. Before I could even continue, he said, ¡°If you¡¯re asking for a divorce¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯re not going to listen anyway.¡± Advertisements Kyle¡¯s eyes widened, but he didn¡¯t answer, and that was answer enough itself. ¡°Please, what is it?¡± He asked, his voice more calm and quiet than before. ¡°Tell me anything. Are you uncomfortable in your bedroom? Is the food not to your taste?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s not it,¡± Kyle said to himself, slowly rubbing his chin. ¡°You¡¯re not the type who would want that.¡± I didn¡¯t know anymore. Kyle wasn¡¯t the kind of person who spoke like this. Even though I was puzzled, it didn¡¯t take long for me to lose interest once more. ¡°Tell me. I¡¯ll give you anything you want.¡± Whatever. What I really wanted the most wasn¡¯t what the person who didn¡¯t listen would say. ¡°Then I¡¯ll tell you,¡± I said flatly. ¡°I rarely went out since I came to the duchy. To recover¨C¡± ¡°You can¡¯t go out,¡± He coldly interrupted. I swept my hand through my face and clenched my fists. ¡°Are you saying that I can¡¯t even go out on my own anymore?¡± ¡°Aelle,¡± Kyle called out to me with a sigh. He seemed to know where I was headed as soon as I left the mansion. I glared at him then looked away. Never mind. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d listen to me anyway. I only asked just in case. Biting my lips, my resentment suddenly rose. Our contract marriage revealed the heart he wanted to protect, but through that, he even got what his heart desired. But why wouldn¡¯t he divorce me? Now that you¡¯ve confirmed your feelings for each other, let me go and live with Hari. ¡°Your Grace always says I can¡¯t do what I want, so what do you want me to do?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Are you worried that people will hold you accountable and accuse you of negligence if I die?¡± Advertisements ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°If not, are you worried that the Countess will be hurt by the assumptions of the nobles, so you want to use me as a shield?¡± Kyle shut his mouth at my outburst. Holding back my fury, I rolled my eyes and looked around the study with boredom before heading to the door. There was no reason to engage in this pointless conversation any longer. ¡°Ha.¡± I was leaving the study when something suddenly came to my mind, and I stopped. Even without turning back, I could feel Kyle¡¯s warm gaze. ¡°I heard Takan is on vacation.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s a shame I can¡¯t see him.¡± I could only guess why Kyle¡¯s right-hand man suddenly left the mansion. Even if Takan didn¡¯t speak, Kyle would know that the person he trusted moved to help me. It seemed that the only way to extinguish the anger in my heart was to disturb his by reminding him I took away his person. As I left, I couldn¡¯t even hear the sound of Kyle breathing. The day was quiet enough to hear the wind blow. The curtains fluttered as a gentle breeze blew in through the open window. ¡°Did Father visit the duchy?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Laura threw an uneasy look and clasped her hands together. What¡¯s up with that person again? ¡°Send him back.¡± If it were me in the past, I would not have been able to reject him because I was his blood and flesh. But not anymore. I looked back on the past and realized the atrocities my brother and I suffered from Father. ¡°But Viscount Carena refuses to step down.¡± Advertisements ¡°Then tell him to wait all night.¡± Laura couldn¡¯t stop fidgeting as she stepped closer. ¡°Actually, he has visited several times before, but Madam¡¯s condition was serious, so His Grace must have resolved it himself.¡± How many times did Father even visit? If that was the case, there¡¯s no way Kyle wouldn¡¯t have told me. He must have ordered his people to deal with it. ¡°The knights are currently stopping him from entering, but Viscount lay down in front of the main gate and said he wouldn¡¯t leave¡­¡± Laura frowned and couldn¡¯t finish what she was saying. I guess I was the only one in the duchy who could solve this now that Kyle was away. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I tried to stop him until His Grace returns, but we couldn¡¯t resolve it.¡± I shook my head. Since Laura brought up the story herself, I could easily guess what kind of ruckus he was making at the main gate. After all, I had seen it myself since childhood. They couldn¡¯t exactly drive out the Duchess¡¯s father. It was like I made things difficult because he came to see me. I thought I had no more face to lose, but my chest tightened, and my cheeks flushed red after hearing about Father. I put the book on the desk and stood up. ¡°Madam¡­¡± Laura stared anxiously at me as she bit her lip, but she knew there was no other choice. ¡°Let him into the mansion.¡± [1] I wasn¡¯t sure how to translate this: ????. Let¡¯s go with Tigra for now lol. Google translate says it¡¯s Tiger/Tigger, and I just don¡¯t know if that¡¯s it. CH 34 ¡°How dare this arrogant girl make your father wait?¡± Was it because he waited long? Father¡¯s voice was full of anger. Laura opened the door and stepped aside, stiffening as she held onto the doorknob. She seemed surprised that a father could speak such rude and vulgar remarks to his daughter. However, it¡¯s something that had always happened to me, so I entered the drawing room unperturbed. Laura hesitated, then bowed and left the room. It was the first time I had come to the drawing room since Hari last visited. I took a leisurely look around the colorful place, felt a piercing gaze, and sat down opposite Father. He smirked and looked around the drawing room. ¡°Looking at the mansion, I can see how you lived the last few years.¡± I turned to look at the familiar face. The father I haven¡¯t seen in a long time looked well, unlike the last time I saw him. He was dressed in a pristine outfit and polished shoes. He looked like the typical perfect aristocrat. He placed his hat down on one side and crossed his legs. He glared at me, his eyes wild, as his legs impatiently bounced. So what if your appearance changed? The important things haven¡¯t. Advertisements I bit the flesh inside my cheeks as I suddenly remembered the day I first met Hari. No matter how much one changed on the outside, their essence stayed the same. ¡°By the way,¡± he gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes at me as if he were ashamed. ¡°Do you dare disrespect your father who fed, clothed, and supported you?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°How can you not accept my invitation even once!¡± Invitation? I frowned, trying to think of what he meant, and soon understood. Ah, invitation. Even after I¡¯ve sent him a message to sever ties with him, he would send me invitations from time to time. He was invited to by high-ranking nobles, so he asked me to come and show my face. In other words, he needed backup[1]. ¡°How much shame I suffered because I¡¯ve been humiliated by you¡­ When I think of Viscount Hayton laughing and snorting at me¡­!¡± ¡°Why should I accept an invitation from you when I know it would only turn me into a spectacle?¡± ¡°What did you just say?¡± Father clenched his fists, his body shaking as if he was about to give up. But after a while, he grumbled and cleared up his uneasy feelings. He clicked his tongue and nervously leaned against the back of the chair. ¡°If the Duke had not invested in the business, I would not have forgiven years of your behavior.¡± I slowly lifted the teacup as I listened to him, then stopped. My eyes trembled slightly, and I almost dropped the cup. When I caught the teacup, I placed it down and stared at Father. ¡°What did you just say?¡± Father snorted and muttered to himself that he finally understood. Advertisements ¡°This is also the reason why I personally came to you this time.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°The Duke is investing in my business. All at once, there¡¯s a problem with work, so the investor¨C¡± ¡°Since when?¡± He frowned when I interrupted him, but soon realized that he was in a position to ask for a favor. ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right, you¡¯ll have your own child,¡± Viscount Carena suddenly clapped his hand and exclaimed. I was speechless. It was so ridiculous that no words came out. I thought my dry eyes would no longer tear up, but I was wrong. I overlooked the possibility that I could still cry because I was upset, angry, or hurt. My throat closed up as tears welled up in my eyes. I still couldn¡¯t speak. He had a sly smile on his face that made the hair on the back of my neck stand. ¡°Right, well done. You¡¯re pregnant.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Even if you and I don¡¯t have things like that¨C¡± ¡°Is Father even human?¡± ¡°What?¡± I barely spit out the words with a trembling voice. How dare you put us on the same line? I was angry because I was miserable, my pride was hurt, and I resented everything. I was mad that such a father existed, but I was furious at myself, who had such a father. I was also angry at Kyle, who didn¡¯t tell me anything. I had so much anger inside me that the whole world angered me. What was Kyle thinking? He extended his hand to Viscount, whom he despised. Did he do it because he felt it would comfort me, who had lost the child? If that wasn¡¯t the case, did he do it to make me feel indebted to him and tied up to his house? Whatever it was, it didn¡¯t matter. ¡°You can¡¯t feel shame because you¡¯re not human.¡± Father¡¯s eyes flashed in anger as he jumped up from his seat. His face was flushed red. ¡°Even animals recognize their parents¡­!¡± ¡°Viscount Carena.¡± I clenched my fists and put every emotion I had into each syllable. I didn¡¯t even blink, afraid that tears would fall. ¡°Humans give birth to humans, and animals give birth to animals. Are you implying that animals gave birth to humans?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I can understand¨C¡± Bang¨C! The Viscount jumped and grabbed my neck with both hands in an instant. The force pushed the chair back, and my head slammed against the smooth marble. Advertisements For a moment, my vision flickered, and I felt pain as if water seeped in. ¡°You¡¯re just like your brother! I made you live comfortably, but you don¡¯t even know how to be grateful!¡± I struggled to get out of his grasp because everything hurt. But the more I tried to escape, the more he squeezed my neck and the worse the pain felt. No matter how hard I tried to breathe, my airway was blocked, and I could only gasp and groan. ¡°It¡¯s so vulgar to see you wearing clothes that don¡¯t fit you, and cling to the Duke¨C¡± Bang¨C! My ears rang, and my mind went blank, then I heard a roar and felt free in an instant. Just then, I thought I would suffocate, but I could suddenly breathe again. ¡°Cough[2]!¡± As I inhaled, I coughed, my throat in pain. I coughed so much I almost gagged. I loosely held my neck with both hands as I fought to catch my breath. My whole body trembled like a dry branch swaying in the wind. When I glanced up, Kyle was there, staring at me. His eyes, focused on my neck, were brimming with anger. After a while, he leisurely approached Viscount Carena, looking as if he wasn¡¯t angry at all. ¡°Viscount Carena.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Have you forgotten your promise that you will never come back?¡± He said, gritting his teeth. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯ll only remember it if you have it engraved on your skin?¡± A reddish tint flashed across Kyle¡¯s eyes. Father, who made eye contact with him, swallowed his hard and stepped back toward the entrance of the drawing room. I scoffed as I looked at my frightened father. Tears fell from his thinly curved eyes and wet the hem of his clothes. Father was like a giant to the young Aelle, but that majestic and strong father disappeared, leaving only a frail old man. His face was pale, like a sheep cornered by a wolf. ¡°Or was I too gentle?¡± Kyle stared blankly at him as if he were looking at a bug, then suddenly grabbed Father¡¯s neck with his gloved hand and tightened his grip. It was a cruel and ruthless move. ¡°Euk!¡± Father groaned and struggled until he finally stopped breathing. Then, when his eyes opened, our eyes met. He reached out to me and struggled as if begging for help. Advertisements ¡°A¡­elle¡­keug¡­¡± It wouldn¡¯t be a surprise if his face, stained with a line of blood on his forehead, burst in front of me. I grabbed my neck and took a deep breath, but I didn¡¯t avoid his eyes. You want help? No, I have no obligation to rescue anyone who tried to strangle and kill me. But, I didn¡¯t want to either. Father, who had been holding on, convulsed, and his eyes rolled back. Kyle then threw him away. ¡°Cough! Cough!¡± Father held onto his neck and coughed. He wheezed against the marble, his noise similar to that of a cattle getting slaughtered. ¡°Last year¡­¡± Father shoved his face into the marble, but continued to glare at me with his snake-like eyes. After seeing Father¡¯s gaze, Kyle stood in front of me to block his gaze. ¡°Viscount Carena.¡± Father¡¯s bloodshot eyes widened, then he waved his hand in the air. ¡°I-I won¡¯t look for her, cough! I¡¯ll live like I¡¯m dead¡­!¡± Kyle tilted his head and hummed, questioning his sincerity. ¡°I don¡¯t think your life is worth it,¡± a hoarse voice came out of Kyle¡¯s lips. CH 35 My mind clouded, and my vision became blurry as I looked at the scene. Like a mere tree that fell in a storm, I twisted and my face hit the marble. ¡°Aelle!¡± I slowly closed my eyes as I saw his footsteps rushing towards me. I felt something cold rubbing on my neck. Something fell when I shuddered at the damp object moving, its motion forming goosebumps all over my body. As I breathed in relief, something touched me again, as if teasing me. It felt like a human hand. Hand? Recognizing that it was a human hand, something flashed in my mind, and I came to my senses. Tak¨C. I swatted the hand and opened my eyes to see Kyle holding a medicine bottle in his hand. I looked around and realized it was probably night since the room was submerged in darkness. Perhaps I fainted and only woke up at night. Not accustomed to the darkness, I squinted and saw Kyle basking under the moonlight passing through the window. He lowered his hand and placed the glass bottle on the table. ¡°Are you going to strangle me this time?¡± His hand holding the glass bottle trembled, and as he let it go, he turned to me. Even though I had chosen words meant to hurt, he remained firm and didn¡¯t show any signs of anger or discomfort. Except for things related to Hari, Kyle always kept his composure. ¡°Is Viscount Carena always like this?¡± ¡°Are you curious?¡± Advertisements I tried to get up, and my voice came out muffled. Then, when I twisted my waist and tried to lift my torso, Kyle firmly held down my shoulder. ¡°Ah.¡± I lay helplessly in bed because of his touch. Disheveled, my hair fell like a thread on the bed. ¡°Let go,¡± I said, struggling to get up several times but repeatedly pushed down by his strong hand. ¡°Don¡¯t move,¡± he said, his voice low and quiet. Kyle rested his big, hard hand on the bed linen and tilted my face. Then, he extended his other hand to my neck and applied the medicine gently and delicately. ¡°Ugh¡­¡± The sensation tickled my skin and caused goosebumps, and I covered my lips as I groaned with pain. Still, I didn¡¯t avoid his glance and continued to meet his eyes. His gray eyes, which had darkened in the night, gradually faded. I felt a strange stimulus all over my body, so I gave up on keeping eye contact with him and looked away, turning to focus on his hand instead. ¡°Why are you doing this?¡± Simple guilt and obligation? Sympathy and compassion? If it wasn¡¯t that, did you have a change of heart? He didn¡¯t answer, but it felt like his silence was answer enough. I slapped Kyle¡¯s hand away, and he moved without complaint. Kyle, who had taken a step back, passed the moonlight across the bed and disappeared into the darkness. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Did you want to make me miserable?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°A relationship with Father was something Your Grace didn¡¯t want,¡± my voice cracked at the end as I struggled to control my soaring anger and misery. I could hardly stand it. Unlike me, Kyle only looked at me calmly in the dark. Of course, I couldn¡¯t tell what expression he was making in the dark, but the density of emotions differed significantly. Would there ever be a moment when this man collapsed because of me? The moment we lost our baby, did you ever fully express your feelings except for a single moment of guilt? He was a man who knew how to make people miserable. I slowly raised my upper body and let out an exaggeratedly dry laugh. ¡°Do you feel bad that I lost the child, and now you¡¯re making up for it?¡± Advertisements Kyle, who continued to stay silent, swept his hair with a hand. I wasn¡¯t sure, but I thought I heard him sigh as he did. ¡°You know that¡¯s not what it means.¡± ¡°How would I know when you don¡¯t tell me?¡± ¡°Viscount Carena came every day and asked to meet.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I thought it would be better to give him some extra money than to make you worry.¡± I burst into laughter and shook my head. Then, words flowed out of my mouth. ¡°Since when have you been concerned?¡± In the whitish light, Kyle¡¯s hand was visible. His hands trembled in response to my words. ¡°If you didn¡¯t think of your father, you wouldn¡¯t even mention sponsorship.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°It would be easier to ask me to kill you.¡± So, in the end, he sponsored Father for me. I tried to widen my eyes and get used to the darkness to see his face. This person didn¡¯t know. No, he¡¯s just pretending not to know. All of this was just a vain condition to me. But what¡¯s the point of considering them when it came to the present situation? I laughed and pulled my legs out of bed. I didn¡¯t have the energy to get up, so I just sat down. I suddenly felt like a puppet with a broken thread. ¡°I want to know why.¡± I couldn¡¯t get a divorce, and I couldn¡¯t go out. As I looked at the wounds in my heart that I didn¡¯t care about, the question buried deep in the abyss came up to the shore. ¡°Why are you so afraid to divorce me?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Even though the relationship has ended, do you still need me to protect her? Or¡­¡± I paused and caught my breath. Chuckling, I asked, ¡°Are you in love with me now?¡± Advertisements I didn¡¯t expect it, but the silence was unbearable. I slowly looked up. ¡°I¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I thought you loved me.¡± I glanced over and looked at his hand, balled into a fist as if clenching something. Strange feelings that even I didn¡¯t understand soared. I said I had no feelings left for him, but if I could do it once, I wanted to hurt his feelings.* I took a deep breath, my chest rising and falling. Then, resolutely, I looked up at Kyle hiding in the dark. ¡°I can¡¯t get a divorce, and I can¡¯t go out. So there¡¯s no way out of this.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°If I can¡¯t get a divorce, I¡¯ll leave the mansion.¡± Haa. I could hear his breath hitch in the silence. Did his hands express his feelings? His clenched fists loosened and hung in the air. His trembling fingertips felt empty as if he had missed something important. ¡°You have nowhere to go.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Except me.¡± I looked away from Kyle¡¯s hand and slowly swept up his body. ¡°If I don¡¯t have one, I can make one.¡± ¡°Are you saying you¡¯re going to have an affair?¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing I can¡¯t do.¡± ¡°Aelle.¡± Like a beast coming out of a cave, he sauntered out of the darkness. Soon after, I could see his face, disorganized as if cracked in the mirror. I stared in surprise at his unfamiliar appearance. ¡°You can¡¯t get a divorce.¡± The sudden high-pressure energy overwhelmed me, and when I tried to look away, he came closer and grabbed my chin. His eyes, which had always been indifferent, shone fiercely. ¡°Even if you roll around with him in this mansion.¡± Him? I raised one eyebrow and frowned. I couldn¡¯t breathe as I looked up at Kyle. His knuckles gently rubbed my skin before gripping my chin. Ugh. A heavy groan echoed from my throat. I looked up at him sharply, and in the blink of an eye, his knees slipped between my legs and spread my thighs. When I tried to force my legs together, my silk slip was mercilessly crumpled and rolled up. Darker gray eyes stared at me intently. Advertisements ¡°Your Grace.¡± I pushed against his hard chest to no avail. As he slowly approached me, my eyes widened. ¡°Let me go.¡± ¡°Why, didn¡¯t you do this when you slept with him?¡± He snarled. My face wrinkled in confusion, oblivious to the meaning of his words. ¡°What are you talking about¨C¡± I stopped speaking and held my breath. Did he doubt my relationship with Takan? I scoffed. I used Takan to provoke Kyle, but I didn¡¯t think he¡¯d suspect us. The person who loved another woman acted so confidently, but why was I being suspected? It was absurd and unfair. I grabbed the wrist of his hand holding my chin, and stared up at him. ¡°Oh, like this?¡± I gently rubbed his wrist where a vein protruded. ¡°Like you were with the Countess of Harden?¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes twitched in response to the mention of Hari. The hand that gripped my chin fell, and his gray eyes widened. Suddenly, he became as gentle as a tamed beast. ¡°Aelle, that¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°Never mind. I told you I wasn¡¯t curious.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°If you want, I can take responsibility for the affair, and you can expel me from the territory, so just give me a divorce.¡± As I pushed his chest again, the weak force moved him, unlike before. ¡°Affair?¡± I repeated what he said, laughing, then shook my head calmly as if admitting to it. Turning away from him, I dug into the bed and curled in on myself. ¡°As you said, now we can find our own partners.¡± CH 36 ¡°Laura.¡± I was about to head to the study again today, but Laura rushed to chase me and blocked me, so I confronted her by the door. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Madam.¡± Laura put her hands together and bent so deep that I couldn¡¯t see her face. The sight made me scoff. My eyes narrowed as I stared at her, then at the door. As if Kyle was there. ¡°Is that what His Grace ordered?¡± ¡°¡­¡± Laura didn¡¯t speak, but there was no clearer answer. I bit the inside of my cheeks, trying to contain my anger. What the h*ll was he thinking? Locking me in the bedroom didn¡¯t mean my will was extinguished as quickly as light in a candle. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Madam.¡± I stared at Laura as she continued to bow and apologize. After everything we¡¯d been through the past year, I thought she would do her best to help me and be on my side. I shook my head in disappointment while thinking of the past. ¡°Laura, how could you be like this?¡± The corners of Laura¡¯s wrinkled eyes trembled, but when she raised her head, her eyes had hardened. Maybe she thought I was trying to commit suicide by going to the forest of Quetray. ¡°Get out of my way. I¡¯m leaving the bedroom.¡± Laura stood motionless, her hands clasped together as if she couldn¡¯t stop me by putting her hand on me. I passed her and opened the door. Luckily, the door wasn¡¯t locked, but before I could even cross the threshold, someone blocked my way. ¡°Please step back.¡± A handsome knight of the Harace duchy stood in front of me, barring my exit. I had never been to the barracks of the duchy, so I never met the knights personally, but I heard they were elite warriors who went to the forefront when Kyle led the war. They said the knights had skills comparable to the Imperial knights. Advertisements Even when I tried to show off a friendly face, he didn¡¯t budge. As I looked up at him, someone¡¯s figure beyond the knight¡¯s shoulder caught my eye. ¡°Kyle?¡± As usual, he looked relaxed and well-dressed. But, unlike him, my eyes were dark and sunken; it displeased me to see him looking so put together. ¡°Your Grace.¡± At my call, he quickened his pace. Then he looked directly at me with shining gray eyes. ¡°What are you doing? I told you to kick me out!¡± ¡°Did I tell you I was kicking you out?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t remember anything like that.¡± As Kyle drew near, the knight guarding my door withdrew. When I looked away, the knight and Laura widened their distance from us and retreated. Even though I could hear him well enough, he came close to me to hear his breathing. ¡°I defintely told you¡­¡± He paused, then lowered his head to whisper in my ears. A dangerous glint flickered in his gray eyes. ¡°Even if you roll around with him in this mansion, we won¡¯t divorce.¡± My blood boiling, I glared at him. However, I wasn¡¯t even a threat to him, the so-called ¡°hero of the battlefield.¡± Kyle leaned back and tilted his face. His gaze, taking in my shabby appearance, traveled from the top of my head to the tip of my toe. Then his eyes flashed with unfamiliar emotions. He immediately took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulder. The movement surprised me, and I turned to stare at my shoulder to try to understand what had just happened. ¡°You can¡¯t leave this mansion.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°The forest will be sealed off soon, so at least stay calm until then.¡± Sealed off? My eyes widened, and all the strength left my body. I hurriedly grabbed his sleeve and approached him. His gaze moved to my hand. ¡°What did you just say?¡± He looked down blankly at my trembling hands but didn¡¯t answer. His eyes seemed to tremble like my hands. ¡°Are you planning to barricade the forest?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Only just to stop me?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Why would you do that?¡± Each time I asked a question, my voice rose. I bit my lip and stared at him, watching him as his eyes skimmed through my hands and arms and slowly went to my face. Then his eyes narrowed as if doubting what he had heard. Advertisements ¡°Only? Your life is at stake.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°If you hadn¡¯t said you would go in the first place, I wouldn¡¯t have done it.¡± Then he held my hand, wrapping his hand around mine. My resentment suddenly boiled over, so I hit his hand as hard as I could, the back of my hand feeling as if it had been burned. A moment later, my hand flushed red. As if worried about the back of my hand, Kyle furrowed his brows and said, ¡°Aelle, you need to treat your hand¨C¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need it.¡± I hid my hand behind my back, but he tracked my movements like a hawk that had found its prey. I scoffed at his contradictory behavior, yet he ignored me, staring intently at where I hid my hand. ¡°This doesn¡¯t even hurt for me.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t what¡¯s killing me.¡± Meeting his eyes, I pushed his jacket off my shoulder and let it drop to the floor. Then, as I turned around, I saw him look down on his feet. He stared at the jacket lying abandoned on the floor. I sat in front of the table and stared into the void. The silence was only broken when Laura entered the bedroom and audibly sighed. ¡°Excuse me.¡± Laura approached me, grabbed my hand lying on the table, and turned it so the back of my hand was visible. She then took ointment from the medicine box she had brought and carefully applied it to the back of my hand. It was a delicate touch that conveyed her worry. It was unpleasant¨C the cold, sticky medicine on the back of my hand. Everything felt meaningless, and I moved my hand away with a shallow sigh. ¡°Stop.¡± Laura, noticing my discomfort, hesitated for a moment before saying, ¡°His Grace ordered it.¡± Why would he be? I slowly raised my gaze and stared at Laura. ¡°He¡¯s worried.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Because he¡¯s so clumsy¡­¡± Laura drifted off, looked into my eyes, and continued. ¡°He¡¯s been like that since childhood. He doesn¡¯t talk much and often doesn¡¯t let people know what¡¯s on his mind, so even I, his nanny, had a hard time with him.¡± Advertisements ¡°¡­so you want me to understand him?¡± Her face fell, and she shook her head. ¡°I just want you to be safe.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°That¡¯s all I want.¡± Laura tightened her grip on the medicine box and bit her lip. Neither she nor the other maids expressed concern over the atmosphere at the mansion that made them walk on eggshells, but it looked like Laura could no longer help it. After sighing once, she buried her feelings once more and stepped away from the table. ¡°Madam, the meal is¡­¡± ¡°Leave me alone,¡± I said, turning away from her. Laura left the bedroom without a word. After confirming that the door was completely closed, I leaned back against the hard wooden chair. ¡°Ugh.¡± I cradled my forehead, my head suddenly aching. It felt as if an arrow had pierced my temple. As I pressed my fingertips against my temple, the pain began to throb. I sighed, closing my eyes to escape my jumbled thoughts. ¡°I don¡¯t care,¡± an empty voice leaked out. It didn¡¯t matter anymore why Kyle wouldn¡¯t divorce me. What I wanted wasn¡¯t just a divorce. It didn¡¯t matter whether you were using me to protect Hari or because you were acting like a child whose candy was stolen from him. I could only think about the affair and the guilt about the baby. ¡°I have to go.¡± I clenched and unclenched my hand. I needed to get out of the mansion before he blocked the forest. I rarely went outside, so no one knew my face, and I didn¡¯t have portraits that people could reference. I couldn¡¯t shake off my nerves. I gnawed at my knuckles and narrowed my eyes. Could I leave this mansion on my own? Takan said he would return, but he still hasn¡¯t shown up after quite a while. Was I blindly trusting him too much? Like Laura, he belonged to Kyle. I lowered my hand, riddled with sharp teeth marks, and tapped the table impatiently. ¡®Please don¡¯t die.¡¯ Advertisements No, no. I shook my head as I remembered Takan¡¯s voice. The groundless conviction was dangerous, but I could hear it in his voice. The note that betrayed his master was proof enough. ¡°The study.¡± Come to think of it, why did Takan tell me to look at the library? There were no books or articles on Quetray Forest in the library. Perhaps he had left another note there, so I stayed in the library all day and looked through the books. There wasn¡¯t a single item I didn¡¯t check. I frowned. ¡°What¡¯s exactly in the study¡­¡± I thought hard for a moment, then stopped at the sudden thought. ¡°Could it be? What if the study Takan was talking about wasn¡¯t the Duchess¡¯s¡­¡± Ha, the corners of my lips turned upwards. Looking back, Kyle hasn¡¯t stepped foot in his study since the last day Hari visited the mansion. I didn¡¯t know why, but I was certain that he had never gone to his study since. I hurriedly glanced at the clock on the wall. CH 37 According to the clock adorned with golden vines, it was almost twelve o¡¯clock. Kyle was about to leave the mansion to attend the meeting for the nobles. After making sure he was gone, I got up quickly, headed to the bed, and pulled the string hanging through the hollow canopy. ¡°Madam, this is Lil and Mas.¡± Not long after, Lil and Mas knocked on the door and entered the bedroom. The two kept their heads down, their eyes glued to their feet. ¡°You called¨C¡± ¡°I want to go to the study.¡± Mas¡¯s eyes widened when I cut her off. Then, in an instant, disapproval reflected on Lil¡¯s face. ¡°Even if it was under His Grace¡¯s orders, if I go, none of you can stop me.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Or am I in a position where I have to get permission from you guys?¡± Advertisements Lil and Mas stared at each other, flustered by the tough and overbearing remarks. At that moment, someone knocked on the door. ¡°Come in.¡± As if waiting for permission, the doorknob only turned then. It was none other than Laura who came in with her head bowed. ¡°Laura.¡± Laura entered the bedroom and passed the two maids frozen in their spot. It wasn¡¯t long before she bowed down and said hello. I thought you would dissuade me. When my eyes widened at Laura¡¯s actions that were different from what I expected, she noticed and responded promptly. ¡°His Grace allowed Madam to go anywhere inside the mansion.¡± At that moment, my chest tightened for some reason, and I sighed. I felt like a parrot in a cage as I looked around the bedroom. It was like I only knew how to talk, and I couldn¡¯t do anything without him. I smiled sadly and pulled myself out of my seat. This time, it felt like forever to reach the study. It wasn¡¯t just because of the pressure I was feeling from Laura and the knight following us, but also because of the hope that Takan might have left something in the study. What if he didn¡¯t leave anything behind? I stopped walking at the sudden chill that cut through my whole body. Laura came over and looked worriedly at me, ¡°Madam.¡± No, it couldn¡¯t be. I shook my head at the pessimistic thoughts then continued to head towards the study. After passing through the hall, the hallway was divided into two. I glanced at both sides. On the left was the Duchess¡¯s study and on the right was the Duke¡¯s. Before passing the hall, I stopped and turned toward the knight. ¡°How long will you follow me?¡± Advertisements ¡°¡­¡± The knight stubbornly kept his mouth shut as he bowed. ¡°To protect the Madam¨C¡± ¡°Is there anyone in this mansion who will harm me?¡± I asked, cutting off the knight¡¯s words. ¡°Or are you trying to intimidate me?¡± The knight looked up, obviously surprised at my words. He probably knew that if I, the Duchess, said that a knight harmed me, he would be punished. Of course, Kyle wouldn¡¯t believe it, but the knight didn¡¯t know that. The knight¡¯s tanned face paled. He hesitated for a moment, then let out a resigned sigh. ¡°I¡¯ll wait here.¡± I watched the knight back away and put his back against the wall, and I turned around, satisfied. After a short walk, I finally arrived at the fork in the hallway. I turned my head then looked at Laura. ¡°I¡¯m going to His Grace¡¯s study today.¡± There was a long silence, and for a while, I wondered if she had even heard me. Then, I heard Laura¡¯s hasty breathing. ¡°Madam, I¡¯m sorry, but no one goes to that place except when the butler cleans¨C¡± ¡°So I can¡¯t?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°The reason is?¡± Laura shrugged her shoulders in embarrassment. Judging from her reaction, it was clear I asked a difficult question. Her eyebrows furrowed as if contemplating about it, and she hesitated, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m just following orders.¡± Laura looked agonized that she couldn¡¯t answer. Suddenly, I remembered when Takan stood in front of the study and stopped Hari. In the past year that I¡¯ve lived in this mansion, I only saw that door open once. Just what was in that place, and why wouldn¡¯t Kyle set foot in it? It was a room full of old books, worn desks, and no trace of people. Ah, there was a clock and a secret door, too. ¡®No, no.¡¯ Hari¡¯s bewildered face suddenly came to mind. After recalling the unpleasant memories, I thought that place might not be just a simple study. I frowned and weakly shook my head. Not being able to enter the place where Hari could like a slight. Staring at the hallway lit with lanterns, I walked with more purpose than before. ¡°Madam.¡± Advertisements I could hear Laura¡¯s urgent voice, but I tried to ignore it. Then I felt a gust of wind, and someone suddenly blocked me. The woman most sensitive to manners and customs just blocked my way. Beads of sweat were forming on her forehead, but other than that, she looked calm and detached. I was getting impatient, but fortunately, I managed to speak in a relaxed tone. ¡°Get out of my way.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry¨C¡± ¡°Are you saying I can¡¯t enter the study that the Countess could enter?¡± Laura¡¯s wrinkled eyes trembled and shook. ¡°You said His Grace allowed me to go anywhere in the mansion.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Did I hear wrong?¡± A chill passed through the quiet space. Laura bit her lip and looked around her. Then, after confirming that no one else was there, Laura approached me and whispered, ¡°Please wait a moment. The butler usually manages it, but there must be an old key in the quarters.¡± Laura sat me down on a red velvet sofa in the middle of the hallway. I watched as Laura made her way back to the dorm, then I headed to the study when she was out of sight. There was a lock on the study door. Come to think of it, when Hari entered the study, Takan had just left the room after cleaning. That¡¯s why we were able to go in. I stared at the silver lock, shining like a polished sword. At that moment, I heard a short breath. ¡°Madam.¡± Laura ran towards me, breathing heavily. So, the time we spent together over the past year wasn¡¯t meaningless after all. Her help dispelled the skepticism I had been feeling about her. Soon after, she approached the study and whispered, ¡°Madam, you have to go in unnoticed by the maids.¡± Laura approached the study with a rusty key. Soon after, I heard a click, then the door opened and Laura stepped inside. ¡°Madam, please come in.¡± ¡°Thank you, Laura.¡± After a light glance, I crossed the threshold of the study. ¡°Madam¡­?¡± Advertisements As I entered, I lightly pushed Laura¡¯s shoulder, and she stepped back as if being pushed by the waves. I turned away from her and quickly closed the door. I then locked the door by pressing the protruding part of the doorknob. ¡°Madam!¡± Laura tried to turn the doorknob, but it only wiggled. She urgently knocked on the door, and the door shook at the force. I leisurely looked around the library and headed to the bookshelf. I slowly scanned the books, pulled them out, and spread them on the carpet. ¡°Madam! Are you okay?¡± I could hear Laura¡¯s frantic voice over the door, but I tried to drown it out with noise. Books piled up like yarn on the carpet, and when the bookshelf was empty, I sat down on the floor. I opened each book. When I turned the sheepskin over and held the paper in one hand, it bent and folded softly. I repeated the same action for a long time, hoping that Takan¡¯s note didn¡¯t simply mean I should read a book. Then while continuing this boring and meaningless behavior, I heard Laura opening the door with a key. At that moment, something fell off my thigh. ¡°Found it.¡± The note bounced off my thigh and rolled around the carpet. The folded note was the same shape as the one Takan gave me. When I finally found what I wanted, my lips turned upwards. ¡°Madam!¡± Just then, the door opened with a bang and Laura appeared. I quickly picked up the note, hid it in my grasp, and raised myself from the floor as gracefully as I could. ¡°I heard a loud noise. Are you hurt?¡± ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡± I shook my head briefly and turned around. ¡°The door to the study looks old and worn out.¡± I spoke calmly as if I were talking to someone else. Laura looked flustered and in disarray, her messy hair fluttering in her neatly tied up hair. Her eyes narrowed in dismay as she looked at the books scattered on the carpet. CH 38 By: Ms MTLer May 27, 2022 Novels, PDM Previous Table of Contents Advertisements ¡°Madam, what is this¡­¡± ¡°The bookcase shook and fell,¡± I said, staring indifferently at the book. When I turned back to Laura, I had to face her piercing black eyes. She¡¯d probably report this to Kyle. However, as I headed to the study, I had prepared myself for the possibility she would inform him. With that in mind, I walked past Laura, and a moment later, I heard books moving around. I turned around to see Laura diligently arranging the books on the floor. ¡°Laura?¡± ¡°It¡¯s better for me to organize it than leave it to the maids.¡± Anyone who would see this situation would find it strange. In particular, Laura must have noticed I wasn¡¯t actually trapped in the study and that the bookshelf didn¡¯t shake and fall. I had even thought of an explanation I¡¯d be happy to answer if she asked, but she just sorted out the mess instead. I stared into the distance until Laura filled the empty bookshelf. Laura went to Kyle to report Aelle¡¯s routine. ¡°How is Aelle¡¯s condition?¡± Advertisements When Laura entered the office, she was met with a question before she could even say hello. She swallowed hard and raised her gaze to see Kyle sitting by a candlestick in the dark. He leaned back on the wide sofa, his elbows resting on the armrests and his chin atop the back of his hands. His beautiful fingers framed his sharp jawline and temple. It was hard for Laura to take her eyes off of his hair, like black raindrops that had fallen on his face. His gray eyes were so beautiful anyone would gladly follow him even if it were to hell. Tap, tap¨C. His index finger tapped his temple repeatedly, like a clock¡¯s second hand begging for an answer. Laura bowed her head and took a couple of steps closer to him. ¡°Her health has been recovering recently.¡± After answering, Laura raised her eyes and opened her mouth in surprise. Then, the candle flickered and lit his face. It was Kyle, who always maintained his perfect appearance. Laura could never be at ease with him in such a heavy atmosphere. He always pushed himself, hiding his feelings and controlling his emotions. It was even more so after the previous Duke passed away. Laura swallowed a sigh. While Kyle looked relaxed on the outside, Laura, who had been watching him since he was young, could tell how nervous he was. Even so, the sharp eyes that pierced through her didn¡¯t waver. ¡°And her daily routine?¡± ¡°Nothing special happened.¡± ¡°Is that right?¡± Kyle asked, leaning forward. ¡°According to the knight assigned to escort her, he heard a loud noise in the study.¡± Laura¡¯s eyes trembled for a moment. Kyle, who caught her reaction, raised his eyebrows coolly. Advertisements ¡°¡­the bookshelf shook and the books fell.¡± Laura gulped a few times to quench her suddenly dry mouth. Even though she looked away to think of other plausible reasons to say, his piercing, suspicious eyes didn¡¯t leave her. Laura hesitated for a moment before meeting his gaze. ¡°Your Grace, it is true that Her Grace is emotionally unstable.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I also think that going to Quetray forest where monsters live is like a death sentence, but if you post a knight¡­¡± ¡°She might die.¡± Laura suddenly felt as if her mouth was muffled. Lost for words, she sighed and bowed. She actually agreed with him. Although the Madam has recently regained her energy, she¡¯s been unstable since losing her baby. If she headed to the forest, it would mean suicide, but when Laura observed her behavior, Her Grace didn¡¯t seem like a person trying to end her life. Confused, Laura closed her eyes and opened her mouth, hesitating. ¡°But the more you do this, the more Her Grace will hate you.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°So, please consider her feelings, Your Grace.¡± After waiting for a long time, Laura sighed and stood quietly, knowing the answer she was hoping for wouldn¡¯t come. She knew well enough he didn¡¯t hear her advice. A while after Laura left the office, Kyle¡¯s self-deprecating laugh filled the silence. ¡°Hate me, huh.¡± Advertisements Haa, he¡¯d rather have that. It would be better if she hated him and screamed at him than if she stopped eating and drinking and just mourning like an emotionless doll. Rather than staring into the void with her empty eyes, he preferred that she look at him with her eyes wide open. Ironically, her raised eyes and stubbornly closed lips reassured him. He shook off his thoughts of Aelle and gently rubbed his eyebrows. Whenever he saw her, a strange sense of guilt ran through his veins. He didn¡¯t know where this feeling came from, but he¡¯d never felt it before, neither for Hari nor anyone else. Especially when he saw Viscount Carena strangling her, his eyes rolled back. It was a strange feeling, the sensation of his heart sinking at his feet then jumping out at once. Afterward, he was filled with anger, and he had no memory of what he had done. The only thing he remembered was that she shed a tear, and it struck him to his core, and his whole body went cold at the sight of her falling. He clenched his teeth to swallow his emotions. ¡°D*mn it.¡± When he lowered his hand and turned his head, he saw a handkerchief at his desk¨Ca trace of what Takan had left behind. ¡°Are you saying you¡¯re going to have an affair?¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing I can¡¯t do.¡± Kyle looked at the ceiling and covered his eyes with his hands. Aelle¡¯s crying face filled his thoughts once again. ¡°She was just provoking me. It¡¯s not true.¡± Eventually, he concluded that he could give her anything she wanted¡­ except divorce. He decided not to define this feeling as simple guilt, compassion, or anything else. Kyle just knew he had to keep her close to relieve the unknown sensation. Money, fame, power, status¨Cwhatever her original purpose was, it didn¡¯t matter anymore. If she used him to fulfill her wishes, he¡¯d let her take advantage of him. It wasn¡¯t that difficult because he¡¯s been doing that so far. ¡°Whatever it is.¡± Alone in the empty office, Kyle¡¯s gray eyes flashed. ¡°You¡¯ve worked hard.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll excuse myself then.¡± Laura lightly bowed her head and left the bedroom. Advertisements Once the door closed and the sound of her footsteps faded, I headed straight to the console and pulled open the compartment. I took the diary out and waved it in the air. Tuk-. After shaking it a few times, a note fell from between the pages. I put the diary back on the console and picked up the small paper. CH 39 ¡°I¡¯ll be waiting by myself. You can leave.¡± ¡°Yes, Madam.¡± After a brief silence, Laura left the office. I entered Kyle¡¯s office, looked around leisurely, and headed to the sofa. I paused for a moment at the memory that flashed through my head but then sat detachedly and stared at the wall. Kyle¡¯s office has always been cold and lacked any hint of warmth. Even when I stayed up for a few nights waiting for him, the cold was suffocating. That¡¯s right. I felt this way the day I waited for him. Like I was submerged in a winter lake. My body ached in pain and frustration as if my body was being cut by a blade. I was lonely, my heart was dark, and my mind was far away. All because I wanted something that wasn¡¯t mine from the start. I let out a self-deprecating laugh then stared at the wall again. Advertisements At that moment, urgent footsteps resounded and gradually got louder. But then the confident footsteps suddenly stopped as they reached the office. I turned and looked at the door that didn¡¯t open. Who was it? No one in this mansion moved so quickly. I wondered if it was a new employee, but it occurred to me that most of the new ones couldn¡¯t enter the main house. Ah, maybe it¡¯s Laura. At that moment, the doorknob rattled. There was one hesitating movement before the door finally opened, revealing an unexpected guest. ¡°Your Grace?¡± Kyle turned around and turned to where the voice came from. He let out a shaky breath, and without taking his eyes off me, he approached me as he loosened his cravat. It seemed like something was up. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I sat on the sofa opposite the sidewall, avoiding his gaze. With the lamp across the sofa shining a light on the floor, I stubbornly stared at the gleaming marble and recited the words I practiced, ¡°Laura told me Father was sick.¡± ¡°So?¡± He had a calm tone that seemed unbelievable for someone who had been out of breath a while ago. I swallowed, my mouth feeling dry, then continued, ¡°Your Grace said it before. I worry about Father.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Advertisements ¡°It¡¯s just as you said.¡± I nodded my head as I recalled what he said. ¡°No matter how he tried to kill me, I¡¯m still worried about Father.¡± It made me more nervous that I couldn¡¯t tell how Kyle reacted. I clenched my fists before slowly speaking. ¡°I want to see Father.¡± Even after waiting for a while, I didn¡¯t hear a response, so my anxiety doubled. He didn¡¯t even know my plans, but it felt as if he did. I cleared my throat then calmly turned to face him. ¡°Your Grace, I¨C¡± My words were stopped short when I met his piercing gaze. Looking skeptical, Kyle¡¯s eyebrow was raised. At first glance, he seemed angry. ¡°What are you thinking?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You were the one who was angry with Viscount Carena not so long ago.¡± ¡°¡­forgive Father¡­¡± ¡°Forgive Viscount Carena?¡± His eyes narrowed. Eventually, his gaze slid down to my neck, where marks still remained. I grabbed my neck and looked away. He might see how obvious it was I hated Father. ¡°¡­Yes. So tomorrow¡­¡± ¡°What are we going to do? I can¡¯t forgive him.¡± Advertisements I took a deep breath at the low and hoarse voice. I felt Kyle stand from the sofa and approach me. Then he knelt down on one knee to meet my eyes. He reached out, pulled my hand down, and slowly ran the back of his hand across my neck as if he was checking if it was healed. ¡°So, don¡¯t forgive him either.¡± He moved his hand away from my neck. ¡°And you must never lie again.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I can read you well.¡± Ha. I burst into laughter at his words. Who was fooled by my lie when we got married? Whether he knew what I was thinking or not, Kyle got up, his expression brazen. It felt like a sleeping lion had woken up. As I tilted my neck painfully and looked up at Kyle, he said, ¡°From now on, I¡¯m going to do whatever you want.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°So tell me, what do you want?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Ah, except for divorce and the forest.¡± CH 40 By: Ms MTLer June 18, 2022 Novels, PDM Previous Table of Contents Advertisements As I went down the second floor, the employees waited with their heads bowed. Then, when the butler who took Takan¡¯s place waved his hand, everyone looked up. As I looked around them then straight ahead, I spotted Kyle staring at me from the entrance of the mansion. He approached me, his hair dyed light by the sunlight. ¡°Aelle,¡± he gently extended his hand. I stared at his hand but didn¡¯t take it. This was the moment I longed for during the two years I loved him¨Chim waiting for me, calling out my name, and reaching out for me. Was it because I finally knew how he felt or because my feelings disappeared without a trace? I had no feelings or thoughts. Oh, there were times like that. I was able to calmy recall memories. I took his hand and walked through the entrance. When we reached the threshold, I squinted at the sun¡¯s harsh glare and shaded my eyes with my hand. I had been inside the mansion the whole time, so I was no longer used to the sunlight. ¡°Madam.¡± Laura hurriedly approached me, a parasol in her hand. ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I said, stopping her from opening it. I could feel his gaze on me, but I lowered my hands and kept my eyes on the waiting carriage in front of the mansion. Advertisements As I looked away and went down the mansion stairs, I heard a ringing in my ear. Suddenly, my vision blurred, and my whole body trembled. ¡°Ah¡­!¡± My feet slipped, and my vision further blurred. As the strength in my legs left, and I screamed, Kyle gripped my waist and held me in his arms. ¡°Are you alright?¡± It wasn¡¯t until my vision cleared that I realized that Kyle was holding me in his arms. I sighed and pressed my hands against his chest to pull away. I could feel his muscles twitch across the fabric. ¡°Let me go.¡± We were close enough that I could hear his breathing. ¡°Stay still.¡± I could see the reflection of my crumpled face in his eyes. ¡°Do you want me to let you go?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s just go.¡± ¡°How can we go like this?¡± It was like holding hands in a ballroom and dancing. He tilted his head and loosened his hold on me. His arm was still around my waist. I burst into laughter and stared up the stairs to see Laura and the employees turn away as if they¡¯re pretending they didn¡¯t see anything. I turned to the other side and saw the knights waiting by the carriage coughing awkwardly. ¡°Let go of me. Everyone¡¯s watching.¡± ¡°Who¡¯s watching?¡± I bit my lip and tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he tightened his hold on me instead. ¡°Right now¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to hug you, or I¡¯m going to carry you on my shoulder.¡± I blinked up at him. ¡°Choose.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine either way.¡± Advertisements As always, I had no choice in the matter. I glared at him and looked away without giving him an answer. I quickened my steps to make sure not to touch him. ¡°You don¡¯t seem to want to touch me.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°But on the first night, you were so aggressive.¡± ¡°What¡­¡± I was struck speechless. I turned to Kyle in disbelief. He raised one eyebrow briefly, as if asking if he had said something wrong. It was only after he broke my heart that I found out he was a person who could say shameful things easily. ¡°Yes, I suppose I could have done thar with someone else that day.¡± His eyes widened, his expression wounded, and he closed his mouth. I frowned and looked away, not wanting to have a meaningless conversation with him. The coach opened the carriage door in time, and I stepped inside. As I gathered the hem of my dress to get into the carriage, a gloved hand suddenly appeared in my sight. ¡°I¡¯ll hold you.¡± He reached out and nodded. Even though I knew what he meant, I turned my head as if I hadn¡¯t heard him. As I stepped on the foothold, I suddenly felt a strong force envelop my waist. ¡°Ah!¡± Kyle held my waist and assisted me up. I wasn¡¯t exactly small, but he lifted me so quickly, like I was as light as a piece of paper. Advertisements He got me in the carriage, climbed up, and sat across from me. I bit my lips in frustrated tears at his arrogance. Sitting across from him, I turned to stare out the window. After a while, the carriage departed. The carriage passed through the Duke¡¯s garden and headed for the gates. I continued to stare out the window to ignore the intense gaze on me. ¡°Why do you look so sad instead of happy? I¡¯m doing what you want.¡± What I want? The plan to ignore it completely flew out the window, and I turned to look at him. He took off his gloves and let out a languid breath. ¡°I told you. Except for divorce and Quetray forest, I¡¯ll do whatever you want.¡± ¡°Yes, thank you very much.¡± I bit my lips, well aware that I might express my uneasy feelings if I talked to him anymore. I turned to the window to see a forest filled with trees passing by like a painting. Then I repeated it to myself¨CI¡¯ll escape after arriving at the mansion. ¡°Y-you¡¯re here.¡± The carriage passed smoothly through the fountain and entered the mansion¡¯s entrance. Viscount Carena, waiting, passed by the butler and hurriedly ran to greet us. This was the western village of Walton Square, where most of the wealthy lived. I stared at the mansion through the window, and my mouth fell ajar. Until now, I had no idea how much funds Kyle sponsored to make the Viscount live in a mansion with employees and butlers. I looked down and saw Viscount Carena. Viscount Carena, the main reason for this visit, jumped out and greeted his guests. We hadn¡¯t even gotten out of the carriage yet, but he bent over, hiding his face. I scoffed at the sight of the Viscount prostrating like that. The time I feared him felt in vain. Shortly after, the coachman opened the carriage door, then Kyle got off first and held out his hand for me as if it were natural. After a moment¡¯s hesitation, I grabbed his hand and descended the carriage. With his head still down, Viscount Carena looked sideways at me. Though he still glared at me, he just pouted. Kyle gave the Viscount a gaze colder than the winter wind. Then he raised his eyebrows coolly and said, ¡°What are you doing? You¡¯re not even guiding us.¡± Advertisements ¡°Ah, of course.¡± At the sound of Kyle¡¯s hoarse voice, Viscount Carena jumped up and ran past the servants to the mansion. ¡°Here we are.¡± I followed the Viscount and tried to escape Kyle¡¯s grip, but he only grabbed it as I tried to escape. It might hurt if I told him to let go, so I sighed and looked around inside the mansion. The servants who followed Viscount Carena bowed again, and eventually, they withdrew at the Viscount¡¯s beckoning. The butler took their place. ¡°Haha. Thanks to your help, I¡¯m now living this way.¡± The interior was simpler than I thought. As expected, it was clear that he didn¡¯t put much effort into the interior because he was concerned about appearance. The remaining funds would probably be barely enough to pay the salaries of the butler and the employees. Kyle¡¯s gaze drifted around the room and stopped at the Viscount. Startled when their eyes met, the Viscount bowed again. ¡°You have a gift for spending money.¡± His voice was full of scorn. ¡°Haha. All of this is Aelle Carena¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°Aelle Harace,¡± Kyle cut him off sharply. The Viscount shrugged and looked into his eyes to see complete frustration. Kyle eyed the Viscount carefully and said, ¡°If you want to maintain a life beyond your means, shouldn¡¯t you be sensible?¡± My eyes widened as I turned to Kyle. Was this why he told me he¡¯d come with me after allowing me to visit? His cold words and actions gradually convinced me of my doubts. The Viscount opened and closed his lips tightly, his pride obviously hurt. ¡°I-I made a mistake. Please forgive me. Madam.¡± He gripped his hands together, pressing hard enough for them to turn white. It scared me to see the angry veins on his hands, so I turned away, pretending I didn¡¯t see them. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.¡± Eventually, the Viscount clapped his hands as if trying to lighten the atmosphere. ¡°S-since it¡¯s before dinner, I had luncheon prepared. Let¡¯s eat first.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Of course, it¡¯s insignificant compared to the duchy, but we took great care since you were coming.¡± The Viscount¡¯s pupils trembled slightly as he spoke. He clearly wanted to good look to Kyle. CH 41 Kyle ignored the Viscount and looked at me. He seemed to ask me if I really wanted to eat with the person who strangled me. I didn¡¯t want to face Father, much more eat with him, but I couldn¡¯t refuse. I needed to prove to Kyle that I had come to visit because I was worried. I nodded my head, trying to raise my stiff lips. ¡°As long as Father doesn¡¯t overdo it, it¡¯s fine.¡± The Viscount bowed down to Kyle, his greedy eyes glimmering, but Kyle¡¯s gaze remained on me. ¡°Then I¡¯ll have dinner prepared right away.¡± He approached the butler, whispered something, and led us to the drawing room. Passing through the hall and entering the steeply curved hallway, the Viscount opened a door he seemed to be quite familiar with. Advertisements Kyle walked into the room with a sullen look on his face, pulling my hand. ¡°Then please rest here,¡± Father said and left. I watched until the door was completely closed, trying to get a glimpse outside the door or through the gap. The drawing room was as luxurious as the Duke¡¯s residence, contrary to my expectations. Velvet sofas that could seat multiple people and a chess set lay right in the middle of the room, and a deer head adorned the fireplace. I didn¡¯t want to look at the tightly-packed furniture, so I focused on the ceiling. Then I suddenly realized that Kyle and I were still holding hands. When I tried to pull away, he let it go, unlike before. ¡°Are you alright?¡± The uncharacteristically soft tone drew my attention. I lowered my head and looked around the room once more. ¡°Yes. The drawing-room is especially nice.¡± ¡°When did I ask about your opinion on the mansion?¡± Before I knew it, Kyle turned completely toward me, his arms folded. I chose to ignore his persistent gaze, and soon, he sighed deeply. I tried to let it pass, but finally, I gave in. ¡°Don¡¯t do this.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Whatever it is that made Viscount Carena so subservient and servile.¡± Advertisements His eyebrows soared, and his arms remained crossed. ¡°You¡¯re the Duchess. Don¡¯t you know what¡¯s obvious?¡± ¡°It just makes me miserable.¡± It reminded him that I was related to such a person. I nodded my head as if to admit it, remembering my past mistakes. ¡°I know very well that you helped Father financially.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I was arrogant to say I¡¯d repay your donation if you wanted it. I can¡¯t do that.¡± Kyle frowned. ¡°You don¡¯t have to feel guilty anymore. I don¡¯t¨C¡± Bang¨C. At that moment, someone suddenly opened the living room door. There was only one great man in this mansion who could open the door without knocking. ¡°I¡¯ll take you to the dining room, Your Grace!¡± Viscount Carena said, his face full of greed. His insidious intention to get a business investment from Kyle was obvious. Kyle grabbed my wrist with a brief sigh, but as he stepped into the door, he turned back. His eyes, which met mine once more, were trembling with confusion. ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± His deep voice demanded an answer. I hesitated for a moment and then closed my mouth. I don¡¯t love you anymore. I swallowed my words and just stared at him. He frowned, seemingly frustrated, either because he didn¡¯t hear an answer or something else entirely. Just because he truly knew how I felt didn¡¯t change the fact that I was leaving anyway. When I felt his grip on my wrist loosen, I shook it off completely and turned around. It was probably the first and last time I turned my back on him. The atmosphere was too heavy to enjoy the meal, so I concentrated on eating. I felt like a cow mindlessly chewing on tasteless grass. I glanced at the front every once in a while. Kyle, who sat across from me, stared at me, his chin resting on his interlaced fingers. He kept his eyes on me as if the Viscount wasn¡¯t there. Advertisements I put down the tableware and patted my lips with a napkin when I was done. Kyle glanced at my plate and stood as soon as he confirmed I had finished eating. He looked like he didn¡¯t want to be in this boring place for a moment. ¡°Your Grace!¡± The Viscount jumped up from his seat and approached Kyle in a hurry. ¡°D-did you not like the food?¡± The Viscount¡¯s eyes turned to Kyle¡¯s plate that remained unmoved. He then raised his hand to summon the butler waiting by the door. It was rude, the way he called the butler as if calling a dog. ¡°Hey! Call the chef right away!¡± ¡°Stop.¡± Kyle has had enough of his temper. He frowned and rubbed his fingertips against his forehead. The Viscount anxiously looked around to see if he had gone against his will. Kyle looked ready to leave the mansion right away. I couldn¡¯t have that. So I stood and placed my napkin on the table. The embers of the candle fluttered. ¡°The two of you should chat. I¡¯ll go for a walk in the garden.¡± There was a twinkle in the Viscount¡¯s eyes. He had a bright smile as if he had found the jackpot. ¡°Let¡¯s do it. While Madam looks around the mansion, we can move to the drawing¨C¡± ¡°Where are you going?¡± I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, looking around and trying my best to look bored. ¡°I haven¡¯t looked closely inside the mansion. I wonder how Father lives.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go together.¡± ¡°No. I want to go alone.¡± I shook my head vigorously and met his eyes. Advertisements His face hardened, and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. I tried my best not to break eye contact. My heart was pounding in my ears as I waited for him to react. ¡°Do whatever you want.¡± Thank goodness. I let out a weak sigh and bowed my head. ¡°Then.¡± I felt a chill run down my back as I felt his gaze on me. He seemed to watch me with interest as if he was observing a small animal caught in a mousetrap struggling to survive. I turned away and hurried on. The butler, waiting by the dining room door, approached me and said, ¡°Let me guide you.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± I followed the butler but waved him off after leaving the mansion through the dining room and hall. I walked to the fountain in the garden and turned around to the back. It was difficult because it was my first time coming here, but I got to the incinerator faster than I thought because I memorized it firmly the previous day. ¡°Here!¡± There, a boy was waving his hand, a beret over his head. The clothes he had in his arms stood out. I pulled up the hem of my dress and narrowed the distance. The boy with red hair and dark freckles was a society newsletter delivery man and an errand boy for a local store. Before visiting the Carena residence, I sent a letter to the Madame at the salon through Laura along with some money. It was an invitation to the Duke¡¯s house to ask for a new dress, but the contents were a request to send a delivery boy to bring menswear to the Viscount¡¯s house. I got a map with the location of the incinerator and the back gate from a boy who was acquainted with some of the Viscount¡¯s employees. He had terrible handwriting and poor drawing skills, but it worked. Advertisements ¡°Here you are.¡± The boy handed me the clothes with both hands. ¡°Thank you.¡± The boy smiled softly, his curious eyes twinkling. ¡°But why do you need men¡¯s clothes? Where are you going by the back gate?¡± Without answering him, I took the reward money out of my pocket and handed it to the boy. A twinkle flashed in the boy¡¯s eyes, and he coughed heavily and stuffed it into his pocket. The smart boy didn¡¯t ask any questions after that. ¡°It¡¯s over there,¡± The boy pointed his finger to the right side of the incinerator, where a tent was set up like a temporary shelter. CH 42 ¡°Employees relax there. You can change your clothes there.¡± At the boy¡¯s words, I hurried to the tent, but stopped in surprise. When I turned back to him, he looked puzzled. ¡°How did you know?¡± ¡°Know what?¡± ¡°That I¡¯m going to change my clothes and leave this place.¡± The boy shrugged. ¡°Menswear and the map of the back exit of the property. It¡¯s a suspicious errand just looking at it, isn¡¯t it?¡± When I narrowed my eyes at him, he added, ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure until I came here, but I knew when I saw Madam running anxiously from afar.¡± Was it that obvious? I remembered making eye contact with Kyle, and worried, I gripped my skirt. ¡°You¡¯re not going to change?¡± The boy peeked at my face with his hands behind his back. He probably noticed the look on my face. I shook my head to get rid of my anxious thoughts. Yes, if he did, he would have caught me without going through all of this. ¡°Oh, hold on!¡± I heard the boy¡¯s urgent voice as I turned toward the tent. ¡°This!¡± The boy ran to me and tried to hand over a beret, but when he realized my hands weren¡¯t free, he put it on my head. The hat tilted forward and half-covered my sight. Advertisements ¡°I almost forgot that.¡± The boy nodded his head towards the tent and scratched his nose as if embarrassed. ¡°Change your clothes and come back. I¡¯ll keep an eye out for you.¡± I bowed my head to thank the boy before hurrying to the tent. I had seen menswear before, but it was my first time wearing them myself, so I was quite flustered. As I wore each piece, I realized that the top was too loose, and my trousers were big enough to fit a fist into my waist. I scanned my body in confusion, then pulled up my hair to hide it inside the beret. ¡°I should hurry.¡± My appointment time with Takan passed because the Viscount took up my time. I combed the hair sticking out of the beret behind my ear and grabbed my dress. I took off my earring with one hand and pulled back the curtain with the other. The boy, crouching in front of the tent and looking out, raised his head at the sound. ¡°Your clothes¡­¡± The boy looked at me in surprise and scratched the back of his head. ¡°Didn¡¯t Madame know you¡¯re going to wear it?¡± I shrugged and headed towards the incinerator to throw my old clothes, but before I could toss them in the fire, I paused and suddenly remembered Laura, who had wrapped something for me. Eventually, I reached through the pocket of the dress, took out the cloth, and hid it in my jacket pocket. Then, I threw the rest of my clothes into the flames and closed the door of the incinerator. I pulled my necklace and crumpled it into my jacket pocket before handing the earrings to the boy. It was one of my most valuable pieces of jewelry. ¡°Please take me to Rin¡¯s weapon store.¡± Advertisements When the boy saw the earrings, his eyes widened, and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. ¡°But if I don¡¯t go out the front door, my employees will think it¡¯s weird¡­¡± Despite his hesitation, the boy¡¯s hand reached for the earrings. He hid it in his pants pocket and tapped it as if to confirm its existence. ¡°I can¡¯t do it, but I¡¯ll show you to the back door¨C¡± ¡°That suits you.¡± At that moment, a familiarly eerie voice interrupted the boy. I didn¡¯t have to turn around to know it was Kyle. I swallowed my breath, bowed my head and pressed down my beret with both hands. The boy, who bumped into him, backed away, stuttering as he waved his hands in the air. ¡°I came to deliver the newsletter, but I accidentally brought last week¡¯s edition and came to throw it,¡± the boy explained without waiting for Kyle to interrogate him. He shuffled his feet, flustered. ¡°Crap.¡± The boy swore under his breath before bursting into a forced laugh that sounded awkward in anyone¡¯s ears. ¡°Haha, then I¡¯ll go get the right edition now,¡± he said, then ran away. Kyle neither held nor questioned the boy. The person he wanted could not leave the incinerator, so it was natural. After a while, the sound of footsteps came closer. My heartbeat quickened and I held my breath, still gripping the beret. It was hopeless. Even though I knew my plan had failed, I had to cover my face. I saw his shoes as I kept my gaze down. ¡°Do you like this kind of outfit?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°If you want, I can fill your closet with that.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Or you can wear mine.¡± Advertisements Contrary to my expectation that he would have been angry, there was a great deal of joy in his voice. No, did he know? I took my hand off the beret and met his gaze. When he saw my surprised look, he burst into laughter and rubbed his eyebrows with his fingertips. ¡°I would have been nice if Madame¡¯s mouth was as heavy as her pocket, but unfortunately, that¡¯s not the case.¡± I clenched my fists so strongly that my hands trembled when I glared at him. It made my blood boil to realize I had been played, and he was so nonchalant about it. ¡°Since when did you know?¡± He gently brushed his hair. ¡°Is it important?¡± ¡°Yes, it is. Since when¨C¡± ¡°No.¡± He raised his gray eyes, his gaze sharp and fierce. ¡°The fact that you deceived me is more important.¡± The air surrounding us quickly became heavy and suffocating. He pushed up the tip of my beret with his fingertips. At his touch, my hat fell to the ground, and the hair I had tucked in poured out like a waterfall.¡± ¡°So.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to the forest.¡± Kyle¡¯s fingertips ruffled the hair that covered my eyes. Just as I felt a strange sense of discomfort, something shiny cut across his sleeve. Tak¨C. A dull noise rang. I gasped, stepped back, and turned to see a dagger stuck in the incinerator door. While I was shocked at the scene, Kyle merely glanced at his sleeve and laughed. One would think only a piece of cotton or paper flew by and not a dagger. Who attacked Kyle? No one had a motive in this mansion to attack such a nobleman. I hurriedly check the perpetrator. ¡°Takan?¡± I frowned at the unexpected person. With one hand in his pocket, Takan repeatedly threw a small scabbard into the air and caught it. He looked relaxed¨Cwearing a commoner¡¯s attire with his hair down. He carried an old sword on his back and three or four more daggers in his belt holster. ¡°Takan!¡± Kyle growled. Takan raised his eyebrows in response to his name, then threw the scabbard into the air and grabbed it in a snap. He looked at me and gestured to the empty spot beside him. As I was about to run, Kyle¡¯s arm blocked me from moving. His gray eyes remained fixed on Takan. ¡°Takan,¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°I told you this is none of your concern.¡± Advertisements Despite his short words, there was a deep anger in his voice. As Takan loosened his hand, his scabbard fell to his feet and rolled over. A dull sound resonated. Their eyes met in a silent battle. Unlike Takan, Kyle was unarmed. Even though he didn¡¯t have a single dagger on him, the overbearing energy emanating from him felt like it could slice anyone¡¯s skin like a blade. ¡°Stand back if you don¡¯t intend to kill her.¡± Takan finally broke the silence. Kyle¡¯s face wrinkled in doubt. It was the same for me. Takan went on. ¡°If I can¡¯t take her, I¡¯ll kill her on the spot.¡± My eyes widened in surprise. Why would he say that? Was it a mistake to trust him? My fingertips trembled anxiously. ¡°D*mn it,¡± Kyle cursed as if he had noticed something and reached out to me. ¡°Aelle!¡± He dragged me away, his firm grip pulling my waist. Then, in the blur of things, I saw Takan throwing a dagger aimed at me. How much time had passed since I closed my eyes tightly? My mind dulled as I forgot how to swallow and exhale. I slowly opened my eyes, twitching at the deep sigh reverberating close to me. ¡°Your Grace?¡± Kyle held me in his arms to protect me, his glare still on Takan. I looked down to see a deep cut on his forearm. Blood soaked the torn fabric and dripped on the floor. I reached for the wound. ¡°Your wound¡­¡± Tak¨C. He pulled my arm down. CH 43 Why was he doing this? I knew he didn¡¯t want me to die, but I thought it was so I could shield Hari from guilt and rumors. But was it worth sacrificing his body to protect me? When I asked him, he never answered. ¡°Takan,¡± Kyle growled. When I looked up, I saw Takan over his shoulder. Takan pulled the dagger from the leather holster without hesitation. At that moment, when our eyes met, he mouthed, ¡®Wait for me.¡¯ I could clearly read his lips. So maybe the plan was we¡¯d run away in the guise of taking me as a hostage? Was that possible? He smirked. ¡°Kyle, do you think it would be cool to kill her?¡± Kyle loosened his grip on my shoulder and slowly looked up. His eyes were filled with rage, and he seemed ready to kill Takan at any moment. His glare made Takan hesitate and swallow loudly before speaking again. ¡°If the Duchess is attacked and killed at the incinerator of Viscount Carena¡¯s mansion, not only me, your butler, but you will also be suspected.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯ll testify that you ordered me to do it.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you think I¡¯ll chicken out and won¡¯t be able to kill her?¡± At Takan¡¯s words, Kyle pulled me closer to him, holding me tightly in his arms without breathing. ¡°Kill me.¡± Takan, caught off guard by Kyle¡¯s unexpected response, frowned. ¡°Kill me if you can, Takan,¡± Kyle whispered even lower in a warning. I could feel his tension oozing out of him. On the other hand, I felt drowsy and relaxed as if I knew that Takan couldn¡¯t kill me. However, I could see Takan¡¯s eyes trembling greatly. No. If things went on¡­ I bit my lips and lowered my gaze to stare at Kyle¡¯s bleeding forearm. I didn¡¯t know why Kyle saved me at the expense of getting injured. I didn¡¯t know if it was his guilt fuelling him or his sense of duty as Takan intended. I took a deep breath and looked up determinedly. Then I gripped Kyle¡¯s wound and pushed his chest. The moment he let go of me, I quickly ran away. ¡°Aelle!¡± I ignored Kyle¡¯s shout and ran. As soon as I reached Takan, he pulled out the long sword on his back and turned my body around, wrapping his arm around my shoulder to bind me. ¡°Mph!¡± Takan covered my mouth and pressed the sword gently to my nape. He roughly lifted my chin to expose my neck. ¡°You really want this woman to get hurt?¡± Drops of blood dripped from Kyle¡¯s fingertips. At the same time, I felt a stinging pain in my neck. And fresh blood slowly flowed down to my clavicle. Kyle¡¯s gaze darkened as he stared at my neck. ¡°Ugh.¡± When Kyle didn¡¯t retreat, the blade went deeper. If Takan dug the sword deeper, it would be hard to handle the flowing blood. Although Takan¡¯s hand shook, he seemed to have no intention of backing down. I could feel the strength in his arm holding the sword. I tightly closed my eyes to ignore the sting. If Takan had given up and turned around now, everything would have been in vain. After a long stand-off, I heard the sound of slow footsteps. When I opened my eyes, I spotted Kyle retreating. Gray eyes ran up my neck to my face. The eyes that met mine were tainted with anxiety. As Takan led me back, he whispered, ¡°Run!¡± While we ran away, Takan¡¯s hand on his wrist, my eyes met Kyle¡¯s. The persistent eyes were filled with unknown anxiety, not betrayal or anger. With eyebrows nervously furrowed, his gaze stayed on me, staring at me as a predator would at prey. On the way out, there was no need to look back anymore, but I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off of him as Takan dragged me away helplessly. Maybe I couldn¡¯t look away because he had a look that reminded me of a child abandoned in the rain. We escaped through the back gate, and I rode the horse with Takan, his arms around me. Kyle¡¯s expression stayed in my mind like a shard of glass embedded deep inside me as we moved. No, stop thinking about it. That relationship¡¯s already over. I shook my head and gathered my thoughts. Takan only slowed down after we reached the back of the square. ¡°There was no other way. I¡¯m sorry,¡± Takan whispered as he tugged at the reins. I shook my head, pressing a handkerchief on the bleeding wound. It was a relief I kept the handkerchief that Laura had brought for me. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t.¡± His cool, immediate response stunned me for a while. Takan raised his scarred eyebrows and said, ¡°To be honest, I would have a chance of winning if I took a surprise attack, but I don¡¯t have the confidence I will if I go head-to-head with him.¡± I sighed and nodded. Indeed, I heard no one in the Empire was better than Kyle when it came to swordsmanship. Suffice it to say, even if Takan were skilled, he¡¯d be overpowered. Suddenly, a question came to mind. ¡°Then why did you fuss about going to the Carena residence? We were supposed to meet at the weapon shop.¡± Takan shrugged, his face sullen. ¡°Laura told me.¡± ¡°Were you in touch with Laura?¡± Takan glanced down at me, then looked straight ahead again. He grabbed me by the shoulders and whispered softly, ¡°The orphanage where I lived as a child was the one you sponsored, and she sent me a letter there. That¡¯s how I found out about the weapon shop*.¡± ¡°Why would Laura tell you¡­¡± Takan recognized my question and shook his head weakly. He looked as clueless. Could it be she heard the conversation I had with Takan? My eyes narrowed at the thought. Well, Laura was always by my side, so she might have overheard us. Or maybe she noticed the strange atmosphere between us. My chest tightened with gratitude and guilt, suddenly remembering the time I had been cold to her. Takan continued to speak monotonously, ¡°I went because Madam didn¡¯t come even after time had passed. Since there were knights posted at the mansion¡¯s main entrance, I went in through the back.¡± He then lowered his head and continued. ¡°Luckily, the guards were out cold.¡± I narrowed my eyes and looked at him suspiciously. They weren¡¯t asleep; he probably knocked them out. He even put the horse¡¯s rein in the hand of the fallen knight just in case the horse attempted to run away. That was a surprising sight. ¡°Well, I didn¡¯t think I could easily get away with leaving a note.¡± Takan looked away and stared straight ahead. His eyes narrowed as he thought about it. ¡°And from avoiding Kyle¡¯s eyes.¡± Kyle? I blinked. Right, it¡¯s been that way since the war ended. Takan called Kyle by his name. Takan must have noticed my reaction, because he frowned and ruffled his hair, looking troubled. ¡°Well, I still managed somehow.¡± He looked like he wanted to change the conversation, so I did. ¡°But why did you leave the note like that? You could have let me know where in the first one you gave me.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t I mention the study? Did you think I left it for you to relax and read a book?¡± ¡°There were two studies.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you think you¡¯re a fool if you didn¡¯t know?¡± ¡°¡­¡± I didn¡¯t realize it until almost a fortnight passed, so I kept my mouth shut and looked straight ahead. Takan¡¯s followed, but he tried to feign ignorance. ¡°Oh, maybe you didn¡¯t know,¡± Takan suddenly said as if he had just remembered. ¡°The mercenaries usually use this method.¡± He soon entered the forest path as he turned the reins to somewhere. ¡°Mercenaries?¡± I looked back at Takan, and he burst out laughing. And then you called me a fool? Tacan coughed and avoided my gaze. ¡°This was a way to notify colleagues in other areas when you receive a quest and move to a different place. The enemy may intercept your correspondence, so you confuse the enemy by specifying different areas in the note.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°There¡¯s an unwritten rule that those who receive the letters visit the most unfamiliar areas.¡± Ah, that made sense. I nodded and glanced up at Takan. Takan was completely different from when he was inside the mansion. CH 44 Looking at it now, he didn¡¯t seem like someone who¡¯d become a butler. On the contrary, this rough, free-spirited, crass man seemed more like Takan. ¡°Here it is.¡± When a wooden sign appeared over the weeds, Tarkan pulled the reins to stop. He looked at the signposts, turned in the red arrow¡¯s direction, and went deep into the forest. As we entered the woods, I could smell the intense fragrance of spring. ¡°It¡¯s spring.¡± I closed my eyes as I inhaled the delicate scent of the season. The sky was immeasurably high and blue, the leaves fluttered in the gentle breeze and danced, and the birds chirped a soft melody. It was so peaceful that everything that had happened before felt like a mirage. I glanced around the forest. There¡¯s indeed a forest behind Walton Square that merchants often use as a shortcut when they ship out deliveries. But why did we go here? Advertisements Takan ignored me and stared straight ahead when I looked up to ask. Then, after riding for a while, he looked around and got off the horse. Then he handed me the reins and said, ¡°Wait a minute.¡± He looked around until his gaze reached a tree with a mark. The corner of his lips turned upwards in satisfaction. ¡°Takan?¡± He turned to me when I called his name and said, ¡°It¡¯s just a little while away.¡± He approached me, grabbed the reins, and walked ahead, his wavy hair swaying in the wind. ¡°You¡¯ll be able to heal your wounds.¡± The horse neighed through the thickets of vines and grass. As I pulled the bushes away, a hut appeared among the roots of the trees. Sunlight passed through the leaves, swaying in the wind, illuminating the place. The sign¨C¡®Rin¡¯s Weapon Shop¡¯ scrawled in red paint¨C hanging from the top of the hut rattled in the breeze. It looked more like a dreary mountain hut that seemed like something was about to come out than a shop. With eyes wide in surprise, I glanced at the shop and Takan. ¡°Weren¡¯t you in Walton Square?¡± Takan stopped the horse and tied the reins to a tree. ¡°That¡¯s the second store; this one is the first. Well, what I said was the second store. But, ha,¡± Takan suddenly sighed and made a serious face. ¡°I¡¯m just saying this just in case, so don¡¯t get confused.¡± ¡°What¨C¡± Takan stared at the store, clicking his tongue. ¡°You¡¯ve already been confused once, so you might run wild on the road saying that even if you had a child, you would confuse the first and the second.¡±* He looked tired. He patted the bridged horse once and stretched out his arms to me. I could do nothing but stare at him. Advertisements ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± The leaves swayed in the breeze, and Takan¡¯s hair fluttered. ¡°Takan, can I ask you one thing?¡± It¡¯s something I¡¯ve been wondering about for a long time. I¡¯ve always wanted to ask him regardless of when I doubted or believed his intentions. ¡°Why are you helping me?¡± Takan¡¯s eyes slowly widened, his pale blue eyes gleaming like the moon. His face darkened with recollection, and the atmosphere quickly subsided. He had the same look as when we were at the orphanage, his eyes seemingly chasing an image that did not exist in the world. ¡°Takan,¡± I softly called. Takan raised his head as if awakened by the call. He blinked slowly and smiled. ¡°Do I have to tell you?¡± As Takan grabbed my waist and lowered me to the ground, I shook my head. ¡°You don¡¯t have to.¡± ¡°Then, I won¡¯t.¡± Takan turned around and headed to the shop. My heart remained heavy because I still didn¡¯t know why he was helping me. My resolve to go to the forest didn¡¯t disappear, nor did it falter. If there was one thing that has changed since then, I have more time to reflect on what others thought. When sewing, waiting for Kyle, eating alone. I would look up and see his eyes staring blankly at me.* I had already asked once. I couldn¡¯t do it again because he might end up crying. I glanced at Takan¡¯s back and walked along. I didn¡¯t deserve to ask anymore. I didn¡¯t mean to turn down this favor even if it reopened his old wounds. As I followed him, Takan suddenly stopped and turned around. Advertisements ¡°Ah, I forgot to tell you,¡± he said playfully. ¡°The clothes don¡¯t suit you.¡± He smiled then walked again. I stared blankly at Takan before looking down at my outfit. It was oversized, but not to the extent that it wouldn¡¯t suit me. ¡°It¡¯s fine¡­¡± Was it that weird? I ruffled my clothes slightly and walked along with him. The mansion had an unusually desolate atmosphere. The employees held their breaths and looked at each other, wondering what was going on, but no one could answer. Lil and Mas walked down the hallway, passing by other maids. Mas looked around surreptitiously and whispered, ¡°Lil, since His Grace returned alone, Madam¨C¡± ¡°Don¡¯t make a fuss. Nothing is known yet.¡± Mas could do nothing but pout at Lil¡¯s dismissal. Lil stopped in her steps, turned to Mas, and called her in a hard tone, ¡°Mas.¡± ¡°Fine, fine. Who¡¯s for sure?¡± Mars grunted and pursed her lips. Lil sighed and turned around, and Mas trailed after her. ¡°But this morning, the two of them were weird this morning¨C¡± ¡°Again, again!¡± Lil glared at Mas. Mas jumped at her loud voice and trembled. Lil continued to glare at her for a moment before turning around. Lil said, ¡°You¡¯re going to get in trouble for that mouth later.¡± ¡°But what if she really went to that forest?¡± On their way to the mansion, they passed by the empty garden and stopped. Mas shuffled her feet nervously on the grass. ¡°Lil, what if Madam doesn¡¯t come back?¡± Mas¡¯s eyes turned glassy and her face red as if she was about to burst into tears any moment. ¡°I mean, it¡¯s because I¡¯m worried, I¡¯m worried! How much did the good Madam care about us! Don¡¯t you care?¡± Mas¡¯s voice trembled. ¡°I¡¯m worried.¡± Lil clasped her hands together but couldn¡¯t stop it from trembling. Mas¡¯s eyes widened at the sight. Suddenly, tears welled up in Lil¡¯s eyes. ¡°Lil¡­?¡± ¡°I¡¯m worried too.¡± Advertisements At her words, Mas burst into tears she had been holding back and wrapped her arms around Lil. ¡°Lil!¡± It was hard to believe that they had once resented Aelle. When Aelle first came to the mansion, Mas denounced her as their master, saying she was serving someone who didn¡¯t deserve their position. Lil also had a low opinion of Aelle because her pride had been hurt. But she wasn¡¯t what Lil expected. She was a woman who listened to her employees¡¯ words. She was kind to them even when they talked ill of her, and patted them on the shoulder. She was even tolerant of their mistakes. That¡¯s why they started sharing her pain when they saw her falling apart. Every day, Lil and Mas beat their chests in frustration and swallowed their cries. Lil pulled out her grasped hand and wrapped it around her shoulder, where Ael had once patted her. She then thought of Aelle. Even when she was still suffering, she comforted us. ¡°I hope you¡¯re happy.¡± Lil wished for her happiness. ¡°Then I will write news of the Duchess¡¯s abduction in the newsletter and distribute wanted flyers all over the place.¡± The aide who received the order left when Kyle didn¡¯t reply, and only the knight remained, his face tense. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I immediately searched around Walton Square, but¡­¡± the knight couldn¡¯t continue and closed his eyes tightly. He hurriedly prostrated. ¡°I have no excuse, Your Grace.¡± Kyle, who was staring out the window of the office, turned around at the knight¡¯s report. Even without looking at the knight, he couldn¡¯t raise his head because of the expression he was making. He has fought countless times with people who have lived and died since he took the sword, but it was the first time he felt so suffocated. Advertisements ¡°He¡¯s good at running away. Mobilize all of them to search the entire area thoroughly. Choose the best knights to search the forest.¡± ¡°Yes, Your Grace.¡± The knight bowed his head deeply, got up and left the office. Kyle thought that the passerby hanging around outside the door was hesitating, but then he heard a knock on the door. ¡°Your Grace, this is Laura.¡± ¡°Come in.¡± Kyle leaned back and tilted his head. As Laura entered the office, his eyes darkened. *I don¡¯t really get these sentences. So please take it with a grain of salt. CH 45 Laura closed the door, approached him, and bowed. ¡°Did you call for me? Anyway, I¡¯m curious as to why Madam didn¡¯t come back, so I wanted to ask¨C¡± ¡°I know,¡± Kyle said with a sigh. Laura glanced anxiously at him and shrugged her shoulders. ¡°What do you mean¨C¡± ¡°I know you¡¯re no longer mine.¡± At the sound of his frosty voice that followed, Laura stopped speaking. Kyle looked at Laura with half-lidded eyes, his eyes were dark enough that Laura couldn¡¯t distinguish between the pupil and the iris. ¡°But I didn¡¯t know you were stupid enough to drive your master over a cliff.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°It was overlooked,¡± he said, his tone morose. ¡°Yeah, it was overlooked.¡± Advertisements A deep voice repeated the same words. Laura, biting her lips enough to make her jaw ache with tension, furrowed her brows and slightly lifted her head. She didn¡¯t know to who Kyle¡¯s words were addressed. Laura was puzzled. The reason he called her was probably out of conviction, not suspicion. He¡¯s convinced she¡¯s helped Aelle. Madam didn¡¯t return to the mansion meant that she successfully ran away, so Laura figured she would be the first to be cut off. But instead of interrogating her, Kyle seemed a little lost. The man took a deep breath and rubbed his face, his large hands covering his face like a curtain. ¡°Get out.¡± Laura¡¯s heart became heavy because she was uncomfortable, feeling like a stone passed heavily against her chest. ¡®Are you all right?¡¯ On the one hand, she was worried about Kyle. She had watched him try to seal the forest to prevent Aelle¡¯s death. She was his nanny from childhood, yet she betrayed him. She felt so guilty that she wouldn¡¯t be able to say anything if the ghost of the previous Duchess came to get her. Laura gave him a sidelong glance but soon closed her eyes tightly. What happened was irreversible, and she didn¡¯t regret helping Aelle. She had agonized over it countless times since she overheard Takan and Aelle¡¯s conversation. What was the path meant for her? Laura had come to her own conclusion after much consideration. She eagerly clasped her hands as she remembered Aelle. ¡®Please be safe.¡¯ After that, Laura greeted him and left the office. After time had passed, Kyle¡¯s hand fell under the scene of petals falling beyond the transparent window of his office. Blinking his eyes languidly, he looked down at his hands and lowered his eyelids. Advertisements He felt as if something he was holding in his hand had escaped. It didn¡¯t matter whether his eyes were opened or closed; he could still see vividly her hair waving through the wind as she ran away holding another man¡¯s hand. He clenched his neck as he thought of Aelle and frowned in resentment. Then he exhaled in shaky breaths. ¡°Again.¡± He felt it again¨Cunknown emotions coming up through his throat, running through his veins, and taking root in his heart. Feeling suffocated, Kyle hurriedly untied his cravat and thought of Aelle. She lost her child and was about to die at any moment. Guilt and an unknown emotion ate at him, but he thought it would soon fade. Still, it remained, so he figured it would be better if she could achieve what she wanted. He didn¡¯t realize that whenever she tried to leave, thin ice would engulf her body as if she had fallen into a frozen lake. Oddly enough, he didn¡¯t even think about Hari. It was from a sense of duty and atonement for Louis that he kept Hari by his side, but Kyle somehow cared about Aelle. He wandered through unknown emotions¨Cfrom her misunderstanding, losing their child, to letting go. One day, he got annoyed, finding it hard to let go of her, who invaded his life. ¡®Do you really want this woman to get hurt?¡¯ He knew that Takan couldn¡¯t kill her. He knew that Takan would mercilessly wield a sword against an opponent, so he trusted him on the battlefield. Kyle watched as Takan thrust a sword into her neck, his eyes trembling with anxiety. He knew he had to let her go. His body stiffened at the sight of the blade slashing her skin and bleeding red. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, and he took a few breaths. Aelle. He bitterly swallowed the name he couldn¡¯t get out of his mouth and stared at Aelle as she closed her eyes as if prepared for death. She chose to die than stay by his side. Advertisements He was still used to loss. Whatever he cherished always left. It was a strange emotion he couldn¡¯t feel even if he lost Hari, Louis, or his parents. He hadn¡¯t even felt this with Hari, the first woman he loved. If she died. if she broke down. if she ever forgot him. As he repeated those scenarios in his head, the feelings he had neglected became clear, and he laughed. Okay, I¡¯ll admit it. This was fear. He was afraid to lose her and be forgotten by her. A rift broke out in the solid feeling he had defined as guilt. ¡°Aelle.¡± Kyle covered his mouth, repeating her name as he groaned. She hasn¡¯t changed, but Kyle has. Unlike before, her name didn¡¯t come out easily, and he almost bit his tongue. If he lost her, he felt like a vast, incomparable sense of loss would overtake him. When he imagined her coming back dead, or seeing her with Takan, his whole body shivered, and his head flickered. He raised his gaze and looked out the window as if Aelle was there. Then he clenched his fist. It¡¯s like grabbing something he¡¯s missed. Takan opened the door and beckoned me to enter. I followed him over the high threshold that came to my shin. Creak¨C. The door opened and closed quickly, unable to withstand the weight. I glanced inside to see colorful lanterns adorning the ceiling, helmets, armors, spears, and swords that filled the walls. A wooden board displayed various weapons¨Cdaggers, bow and arrows, shurikens, exotic weapons, anything one could imagine. Takan looked around with an unusually readable face as he headed towards the wall where weapons were displayed. He held a sword of intense color with a snake-like pattern on the handle. It was more like looking at a work of art than just a weapon. Takan grinned at the sword, obviously pleased with the weapon. I stared at Takan as he admired the sword, and a thought struck me. I rummaged through my jacket pocket and pulled out a pair of my earrings. I shamelessly received help, so I had to do something to ease that feeling. Advertisements Well, this wasn¡¯t mine in the first place, so it wasn¡¯t worth considering paying off debt. So I turned around with a bitter smile and said, ¡°Takan, you can buy the long sword with this¨Cack!¡± A sudden appearance startled me, and I dropped the earring in my hand. At the noise, Takan quickly pulled out his long sword and turned around. He aimed the tip of his blade at the man standing in front of me. He blinked his eyes in disbelief and breathed out a sigh of relief. The man in front of me had a thick beard covering his chin. A man with dark skin and short hair that didn¡¯t even reach his forehead had a rough impression that reminded me of a rogue. His appearance was as big and high as a mountain, and anyone who looked at him would feel terrified. The man glanced at me contemplatively and then pushed the tip of the sword aimed at his neck with his index finger. He didn¡¯t take his eyes off me. ¡°Hey, stop that. That¡¯s expensive.¡± Takan¡¯s eyes widened and he quickly lowered the sword. ¡°Could it be, Rin?¡± I looked back at Takan in surprise. Rin? The blacksmith and owner of this shop. Takan, who brought me here, looked even more surprised. But why was he looking at me? His contemplative gaze, as if inspecting me, felt unpleasant, so I furrowed my brows and glared at him. After a while, he contorted his face as if he was holding back his laughter, then collapsed. ¡°Haha!¡± Rin grabbed his stomach and bellowed out in laughter. He even slapped his thighs. His shoulders also shook as he cackled. Takan and I stared at Rin in disbelief. He continued to laugh, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. ¡°You look like a squirrel whose food was stolen from them, then glare at me with so much venom,¡± Rin murmured so that only I could hear his words. Takan sighed deeply and stood in between Rin and me. CH 46 ¡°Stop looking. Her face will wear out.¡± ¡°I thought it¡¯s Izenne again,¡± Rin shrugged and responded slyly. At that moment, silence swept around like a current. Sensing the severe atmosphere around Takan, Rin hesitated. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± I couldn¡¯t see Takan¡¯s face because I was behind him. What kind of expression did he make for Rin to react like that? Before I could ask, Takan swung his sword violently over Rin¡¯s chest and moved past him. ¡°Take this. As I said in the letter, I will be indebted to you one day.¡± ¡°Okay¡­¡± Rin took the sword by surprise and turned back to him, his expression now sober. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Anyway, the room I used to share with you is probably empty, isn¡¯t it?¡± Takan looked and touched the weapons on display and spoke harshly. Rin¡¯s eyebrows furrowed for a moment before he finally remembered. He said, ¡°I was looking forward to seeing you again after ten years, but you¡¯re still the same as when you were young.¡± Advertisements Rin clicked his tongue in discontent as he hung the sword where it was displaced. Then, he took a warm breath and wiped the sword¡¯s surface with his sleeve until it shone. After repeating the action until he was satisfied, Rin suddenly asked Takan a question. ¡°So, aren¡¯t you going to tell me why?¡± Tarkan tapped the sharp iron helmet with his hand until it made a sound before stopping. Then, with a deep sigh, he ruffled his hair as if finding the question difficult to answer. ¡°Don¡¯t ask.¡± Rin frowned when he heard Takan¡¯s hoarse voice. The fact that I left the duke¡¯s residence with the Takan¡¯s help would put him in danger. Maybe, no, definitely. Kyle would try to find us because we deceived him. From the looks of it, Rin and Takan had known each other for a long time. I¡¯m sure he¡¯s thinking about it. Those who knew our whereabouts and those who helped us would be questioned. Rin might get in trouble if we tell him the truth. I had to come up with a plausible excuse for the hesitant Takan. I put the earrings back in my jacket pocket and turned to them. But at that moment, Rin¡¯s eyes shifted from Takan to me. His sharp, insightful gaze focused on me. Rin looked like he had come to a conclusion, but he didn¡¯t say anything. Instead, he casually dusted off the robes on the wall and said, ¡°Aha, could it be?¡± At his words, Takan looked at Rin. Rin carelessly rubbed the ends of the robes on the wall. ¡°Is she your lover? Did you run away for love?¡± Advertisements Takan looked at me with a grimace. ¡°Are you crazy? She¡¯s like a little sister¨C¡± ¡°Then I will give you this robe as a present. I can¡¯t stand still now that you have a lover.¡± Takan¡¯s eyes twitched, yet his face remained stern. Then, a moment later, he shook his head. ¡°That¡¯s not it. Our relationship¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s made of fabric from the north, so it won¡¯t wear out quickly.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Takan swallowed his words and slowly closed his mouth. Rin smiled and held back his laughter, his reaction reminding me of an uncle teasing his nephew. He snorted as he continued straightening the wrinkle-free robe. ¡°So, when did you meet her? You¡¯re a man who treated women like they didn¡¯t exist.¡± Takan scratched his head as he looked in the air in contemplation. He must have decided that we needed a robe and was trying to find a plausible answer. You don¡¯t have to lie. We could buy as many as we liked with the jewels I had with me. As I was about to stop him, Takan furrowed his brows and said, ¡°¡­about last year?¡± ¡°Where did you meet?¡± Seemingly caught off guard, Takan¡¯s face clouded with embarrassment. ¡°¡­H-home?¡± Rin¡¯s eyes widened in an exaggeratedly surprised expression. His lips curled up. ¡°Is this the same Takan who couldn¡¯t even go to the bathroom without me?¡± Advertisements ¡°What¡­¡± Takan¡¯s eyes widened. He glanced at me and whispered a low warning to Rin. The tip of his ear, visible through the light blue hair, was red. ¡°Why are you talking about that now?¡± ¡°When you left the orphanage and had nowhere to go, I put you to sleep and dressed you, and you followed me around like a duckling.¡± ¡°Is that snout of yours still out of control?¡± ¡°Haha!¡± Rin burst out laughing when he saw how fed up Takan looked. With a gentle smile, Rin patted him on the shoulder and walked past Takan. ¡°Let¡¯s eat together. It¡¯s been a long time since we last did.¡± Then, Rin turned to me. Takan glared at him, but Rin grinned as he stared at my head to my toe. ¡°You should change your clothes first.¡± Behind the store was a modest space that could fit two people. Takan really seemed to live here before because he moved around with ease. ¡°Come in.¡± Rin served food on the small table that only reached his hip. I ate simple bread and soup and then changed into the outfit Rin gave me. It was an inexpensive white shirt and navy pants that made a loud rustling sound every time I moved, but at least it was better than the oversized clothes. I offered to pay Rin, but he refused, saying he could not accept it from Takan¡¯s guest. Contrary to my first impression of him, Rin was a man of many words and kindness. He held onto Takan as he babbled on, asking him how he had been doing. Takan merely covered his ears as if he didn¡¯t want to hear it. I felt at peace, contradictory to the situation that someone might be chasing us. I listened half-heartedly to Rin and Takan¡¯s conversation and wandered through the forest alone with my jumbled thoughts. As I took in the lush greenery and breathed in the fresh air, the unfamiliar forest and store felt somehow familiar. After walking for a long time, the sound of footsteps cutting through the bushes suddenly broke the silence. I turned around to see Takan approaching me, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. Advertisements ¡°Sorry. He¡¯s a very talkative person and can get crazy at times.¡± ¡°Is he still someone you can trust?¡± Seeing that Tarkan brought me here, Rin was sure to be a trustworthy person. Takan made a mysterious expression and immediately shook his head as if he had no choice but to admit it. He frowned slightly as if embarrassed. ¡°Yes, well. He¡¯s like a father who took care of me when I was young.¡± ¡°I see,¡± I replied dryly, tilting my head and looking at the sky. The sun shone through the leaves swaying in the breeze. After basking in it for a while, I realized I was enjoying it for the first time in a long time. Ah, I used to love the sun. I closed my eyes to avoid the glare of the sun. A moment later, I felt Takan move from behind me to stand next to me. ¡°After a night, we¡¯ll head to Quetray Forest,¡± he said. ¡°I got information from people I wouldn¡¯t exactly call colleagues.¡± Takan raised his hand to his shoulder and hesitated. After a while, his hand hovered over my face like a shield. My furrowed brows relaxed. ¡°We¡¯ll go through the forest and find the inn where the guide lives.¡± Memories I had long buried resurfaced as I stared at Takan¡¯s hand. When I was young, my brother blocked the light with his body to protect me, who had always liked the sun. Just like this. When I remembered my brother through Takan, I couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°Are you listening?¡± Takan asked, disgruntled. Unable to hold back my laughter, I asked, ¡°Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s weird?¡± He stared at me for a moment. ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you think I¡¯m doing something meaningless?¡± Advertisements His hand, which had been blocking the sun, trembled. A bright light shone through the gaps between his fingers. ¡°It would seem reckless and pointless. Others might think that I am delusional.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°But I must go.¡± At least then, I wouldn¡¯t have to think of Kyle and my child. Instead of saying those words, I engraved them on my heart. Then I opened my eyes and pushed Takan¡¯s hand away. I took out one of the earrings I kept in my pocket and held it out to Takan. I wanted to give him all of the jewelry I brought with me, but the forest guide might ask for money, so I had to keep some of it for now. The teardrop-shaped sapphire earrings sparkled in the sunlight, and Takan¡¯s gaze slid down with suspicion. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± ¡°Take it, Takan. It¡¯s small, but I want to make it up to you.¡± Takan was momentarily at a loss for words and looked blankly at my hand. He smirked. ¡°Does it look like I¡¯m helping Madam because I was hoping for something?¡± ¡°No. But, regardless of your reason, it doesn¡¯t change the fact that you helped me.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You can buy weapons with this. I want to thank you, but this is all I have,¡± I shrugged and tapped my pants pockets with my hands to make sure they were empty. Takan made a face. I wasn¡¯t sure if he was smiling or grimacing. CH 47 It was like that time when his eyes saw through me. He looked carefully at my face as if analyzing something, the gaze stinging. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Takan tilted his head. ¡°It seems similar, but when I look at you like this, it doesn¡¯t seem to be the case.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± After stubbornly shutting his mouth for a while, he closed his eyes with a light sigh. He looked as if he had escaped from something and returned to reality. ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± Takan briefly eyed the earring on my outstretched hand and turned away, scratching the back of his head. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯m using you, too.¡± ¡°You¡¯re using me?¡± Takan simply shrugged and walked ahead, but perhaps he felt uneasy about the unresolved problem, he stopped. I could feel him waver. Takan turned back to me, biting his lip as if hesitant to speak. I waited patiently; whatever he wanted to say was probably difficult to put into words. Takan¡¯s eyes roamed in the air before falling at his feet. He only broke the silence after letting out a long, indescribable sigh. Advertisements ¡°My sister.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You look like my little sister.¡± His voice broke. Little sister? Maybe the ¡®Izenne¡¯ Rin was talking about a while ago was his little sister? When I thought about Takan and Rin¡¯s reaction when they heard the name ¡®Izenne,¡¯ I could guess to some extent why Takan was helping me. I was curious and wanted to ask, but I held my tongue. Judging by the fact that Takan didn¡¯t say anything to Rin, the man he regarded as his father, it was probably not my place to ask. Takan smiled bitterly before erasing his expression. When he raised his head, his usual easygoing and obnoxious look was back. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. It¡¯s for me.¡± Takan shrugged his shoulders once, then turned around and whistled. It made me uncomfortable to hear how lonely it sounded when Takan whistled along with the birds¡¯ chirps. I looked at the jewel in my hand, and a sudden thought came to me. ¡°Can you teach me? How to shoot a bow.¡± Takan paused and looked back at me, his face bewildered. Advertisements ¡°You can take the earrings as payment for teaching me.¡± ¡°Payment?¡± ¡°Yes, payment. As you know, there are monsters living in the forest. No matter how strong you are, you won¡¯t be able to handle it alone.¡± It¡¯s something I¡¯ve been thinking about for a while now. Monsters lived in the forest, and relying on guides and Takan to find the hourglass would have its limits. Above all else, if I depended on someone else, I wouldn¡¯t be able to stand alone after losing my memories. Hesitating, Takan scratched his forehead and then waved his hand, dismissing my offer. ¡°No matter how hard I think about it, I can¡¯t. Furthermore, you can¡¯t develop archery skills in a day.¡± ¡°You won¡¯t know until you try.¡± With a huff, Takan raised his eyebrows and burst out laughing. ¡°Seriously?¡± His subtly dismissive attitude provoked in me a strange desire to win. I stubbornly shut my mouth and looked at him resolutely. Takan must have seen my sincerity because he touched his nape as if embarrassed. Then he turned his head and whispered to himself, ¡°If I look closely, there¡¯s no resemblance.¡± Slightly trembling, he shook his head. ¡°Okay, then let¡¯s do it.¡± ¡°Do you understand?¡± After explaining and demonstrating, Takan handed over the bow. I took a deep breath and stared alternately at the sloppy wooden target tied to the wooden post and the bow. Advertisements I said I¡¯d do it, but to be honest, I didn¡¯t get the hang of it. I¡¯ve only sewed all my life because I wasn¡¯t familiar with anything or tried anything else. Previously, I tried to pull the bow with Takan¡¯s help, but even that wasn¡¯t easy. As I moistened my lips and took the bow, Takan looked at me incredulously, handing over the arrow to me. ¡°Try to get into position first.¡± Just as he taught me, I put the arrow on the bow and placed the tip of the feathered arrow on the string. ¡°Pull it.¡± I pulled the bowstring as hard as I could, but my hands trembled at how taut it was. I clenched my teeth and pulled. When I glanced down, the area between the fingers holding the hard bow was red. I¡¯d probably get blisters soon. But if I couldn¡¯t even do this, I couldn¡¯t go to the forest. I looked at the red dot that Takan had drawn on the target. Gradually, the bowstring rubbed my face and stung. I narrowed my eyes and aimed at the red dot. Advertisements ¡®I can do it,¡¯ I repeated to myself. ¡°Now try to shoot.¡± My posture shook as I aimed at the target again. Takan, watching the scene, shook his head and smirked, a little too smug. ¡°Well, if you can¡¯t get it right¨C¡± Tak¨C. At that moment, a dull sound cut through Takan¡¯s words. The arrow landed in the middle of the red spot. ¡°R-ridiculous.¡± Even though I had shot the arrow, my jaw dropped, and I turned to Takan. ¡°Takan. Did you see that?¡± I was flustered yet proud of myself, and a smile spread across my lips. Takan stood frozen beside me, opening and closing his mouth like a broken wooden doll. He was at a loss for words. ¡°Takan?¡± ¡°Keuheum[1]!¡± Soon after, Takan came to his senses and started coughing. He seemed just as flustered as I was. He stuttered and opened his mouth as he struggled to find the words. ¡°¡­but, well, I¡¯ve heard that some people are exceptionally natural.¡± Takan put his hand on his waist, still bewildered, and looked around in the air. I raised my chin slightly as I smiled. For the first time in my life, I was smug. ¡°Can I develop archery skills in a day?¡± At my slight provocation, Takan narrowed his eyes and looked back at me before bursting out in laughter. Then he shook his head and smiled faintly. ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re amazing,¡± he replied playfully. Kyle couldn¡¯t hide his heavy heart while visiting the Harden residence. He entered the house morosely and looked around. The remaining employees left due to Hari¡¯s atrocious behavior, and the handful of employees who remained were the ones he had hired. The person in charge approached him, silently greeted him, and reported, ¡°Your Grace, Madam¨C¡± He made eye contact with Kyle, and his expression hardened at the cold stare. The person bowed and left. ¡°If you¡¯ll excuse me.¡± Even if Kyle didn¡¯t listen to the report, he already knew through correspondence that Hari would be asleep from the medicine by now. Advertisements As he entered the mansion devoid of warmth and filled with silence, his eyes unconsciously shifted to a dark, shady space behind a decorative table in the corner of the hall. Suddenly, the memory of his childhood in Louis¡¯s mansion immediately after his parents passed away came to mind, and he went there naturally. The more he walked, the more his faint memories became vivid. There, he saw a boy crouching in a corner and weeping endlessly, and Louis and Hari around him. They hugged the boy and comforted him as they held back tears. Dew-like tears fell from the boy¡¯s eyes, his chin on Louis¡¯s shoulder. Then the boy looked up and their eyes met. His gray eyes were as deep and dark as an abyss, causing the viewer to frown. When Kyle closed his eyes for a moment and opened it again, the children disappeared. He stared intently at the empty spot. ¡°Louis!¡± At that moment, a shaky voice suddenly echoed inside the mansion. Kyle looked up to see Hari, a bright smile on her face, leaning against the stair railing and looking down at him. Hari had dark circles under her eyes and, with a body as frail as a branch swaying in the wind, looked like she was about to collapse. As he watched her, he frowned and swallowed the guilt stuck in his throat. He ruffled his hair and gritted his teeth to the point that his jaw muscles tensed. After all, he should have stopped Hari when she went to the forest. No, not that. Things went wrong the moment Louis pushed him away, and the enemy¡¯s knife slashed his throat instead. Louis¡¯s neck sprayed blood, staining Kyle¡¯s gray eyes. From the moment his close friend¡¯s neck fell and rolled in front of him, everything went wrong. Kyle covered his eyes with his hands as if he had witnessed a grim tragedy. If he could, he wanted to turn back time, give his head to the enemy, and ask them to cut it. As he groaned in pain, Hari leaned on the railing and stretched out her hand. ¡°Louis, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Kyle took a deep breath and looked up. Hari looked like she would fall down the railing. ¡°That¡¯s dangerous, Hari.¡± Kyle walked over to her, grabbed her waist, and lowered her to the floor. [1] ?? (keuheum) is just a coughing sound. CH 48 ¡°Thank you, Louis.¡± Hari took Kyle¡¯s hand on her waist and moved it to her face. Kyle couldn¡¯t shake her off, so he just gently removed his hand from her pale skin. Kyle felt like he¡¯d go insane every time Hari did this. Revealing Louis¡¯s death has always brought the same result¨C she would cry and beg for Louis¡¯s life and collapse from emotional exhaustion in the end. He had gone through it while protecting her in the mansion last time. Every time he tried to leave her, trembling with anxiety, it was as if Louis¡¯s soul held him back. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Louis?¡± Hari asked, staring at him. She rubbed her skin with her cold hands and smiled as if she was dying. It was a sad and delicate smile that reminded Kyle of glass that could break any moment. Advertisements Hari¡¯s suspicious condition made Kyle wonder if there really was a forest where one could forget the memories they wanted to forget. Although Hari sometimes forgot his name, she remembered Louis amidst the confusion and oblivion. Kyle ruffled his hair and sighed. Aelle should be stopped from going to the forest. Even at this moment, Aelle filled his thoughts. A sudden noise downstairs pulled Kyle out of his thoughts. He made his way down, and the employees bowed to greet him. All of them were Hari¡¯s exclusive caretakers and attendants. Kyle shifted his expression to his usual cool and cold gaze. As he withdrew his hand, Hari¡¯s eyes followed it regretfully. ¡°How is the treatment progressing?¡± ¡°The delusions and hallucinations seem to have subsided, and her memory is slowly recovering.¡± Kyle sighed in relief. Hari took his hand again and locked it in her arms, but he responded by shaking it off. ¡°But there¡¯s something strange about it.¡± One of the elderly members of the group slowly raised their head. ¡°Every time she returns to sanity, she mentions a specific name.¡± ¡°Name?¡± Kyle frowned. The employee looked into his eyes and nodded. ¡°Yes. In case Your Grace knows about it¨C¡± ¡°Your Grace!¡± A knight rushed in before the employee could continue their report. The knight kept his eyes on his feet, worried for a moment for entering the Harden mansion without permission, then raised his gaze. Flustered by the appearance of a stranger, Hari hid behind Kyle. Kyle stayed in his place, protecting Hari, and eyed the knight. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°I got a report from a merchant that he saw a man and a woman on horseback going into the forest by Walton Square.¡± Advertisements ¡°Forest?¡± The forest by Walton Square. If they¡¯re there, it means they haven¡¯t gone far. Perhaps they had a temporary shelter there. When Kyle, who was rubbing his chin, suddenly raised his gaze, the knight took a step back. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Kyle tried to move but stopped when a hand weakly held onto his robe. Hari poked her face out from behind him, and Kyle¡¯s guilt resurfaced when he saw her anxious expression. After a while, he sighed. ¡°I have to go somewhere.¡± Kyle hesitated for a moment, then pulled Hari¡¯s hand away. When he did, Hari immediately grabbed his robe once more. ¡°W-where are you going? When are you coming back?¡± Her pitiful voice overwhelmed him, and Kyle looked down at her hand, at a loss for words. Hari looked like she was about to burst into tears. ¡°The war is over, Louis! Don¡¯t¡­ Don¡¯t leave me alone anymore, okay?¡± Hari shook her head violently as she wiped away her tears. She was unconsciously aware of it. The fact that Louis would never come back. So whenever Kyle leaves, she must hold on to him so desperately, call him desperately, and wait tirelessly. ¡°Hari.¡± Kyle swallowed the words he wanted to say. I¡¯m not Louis. He¡¯s no longer in this world. He painfully kept it to himself because he couldn¡¯t let Hari suffer again. ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡± He held the hand that gripped his robe and gently pried it away. The pitiful sight of her shaking hand was heartbreaking, and so Kyle looked away. ¡°Then¡­ Then you have to come back quickly because I¡¯ll be waiting. Okay?¡± He wanted to answer her, but he couldn¡¯t. Turning around, Kyle anticipated that the road with the knight would be long and arduous. The past, the memory of him and Louis crossing the rugged mountain round, seeped in like water, and Kyle stopped and closed his eyes. After a while, the sound of Hari and the maid entering the bedroom echoed. Ha. Kyle inhaled and exhaled. He walked past the knight with a clearer mind and hurried his steps. The knight quickly followed. ¡°How many people?¡± ¡°He¡¯s agile since he¡¯s a mercenary, so we¡¯ll keep it to a minimum.¡± Advertisements ¡°Go with me.¡± The knight paused in his steps in surprise, then hurried to catch up, afraid he¡¯d miss his chance. After all, it was rare for Kyle to lead the knights directly after returning. He glanced at his master¡¯s face. Kyle was a confident man who didn¡¯t falter even with a blade pushed to his chin. There were times when the knight¡¯s body froze when he met the cold, fierce eyes devoid of warmth, and he jokingly wondered if there was any muscle in that handsome face. He thought Kyle was a man who didn¡¯t feel anxious and nervous, but he was just like him after all. He didn¡¯t expect his master to be so frazzled after losing his wife. The knight shook off his idle thoughts and recalled the matter to be reported. The knights who had gone to the forest returned and said something strange. Apparently, they heard a scream in the inhabitable forest infested with monsters. ¡°Sir, I think this is a false report, but one thing¡­¡± The knight swallowed hard and stopped. He realized that Kyle was too far away to hear him. As Kyle reached the carriage, the coachman rushed and opened the door. Instead of riding the carriage, Kyle pulled out the sword attached to the knight¡¯s waist and cut off the leather connecting the carriage and the horse. He mounted the horse and grabbed the reins. ¡°See you in the forest.¡± Kyle gave a sidelong glance at the bewildered knight before heading to the forest. The lone knight followed him and shook his head. The knights had to rally to the duke in haste. Beneath the oak tree far away from the shop, I heard the sound of crackles and sparks. I approached Takan, sitting in front of the campfire, and handed him a blanket. ¡°Why are you giving it to me?¡± Considering that he looked away indifferently, he had no intention of taking it. So I sat opposite him, put the blanket on my lap, and watched the bonfire. As he lit the bonfire with a fallen twig, he asked, ¡°Why are you sitting on the cold ground?¡± ¡°It¡¯s comfortable.¡± His forehead furrowed in an instant, seemingly displeased that I sat on the dry ground with a blanket. Takan tapped the bow on the ground with the knuckle of his hand. ¡°I¡¯m going to ask Rin to fix it tomorrow. It¡¯s made of the toughest bamboo I¡¯ve ever seen, so don¡¯t worry about it breaking.¡± Advertisements ¡°It¡¯s a shame. I wanted to practice more.¡± ¡°The real deal is better, so don¡¯t be too disappointed.¡± The real deal? Sensing a curious gaze, Takan grinned. ¡°Please don¡¯t do anything and stay behind me. Do you want me to say that?¡± ¡°Who said I wanted that?¡± Takan¡¯s teasing somehow made me feel vexed. I grabbed the bow and kept it in my arms to divert my rising temper. I opened my eyes to glare at Takan, but it stung from the hot flames, and I quickly closed them again. As I rubbed my eyelids, I heard a chuckle. ¡°You look like you¡¯re throwing a tantrum.¡± Well, he wasn¡¯t wrong. I coughed, put down my hand, and stared at the bonfire. The flaming embers roared as if they were about to ascend to heaven. As I absentmindedly watched the bonfire, I felt better because the memories that remained with me seemed to burn. Suddenly looking down, I picked up a small branch that had fallen on the damp sand. When I shook it slightly, the leaves still attached fluttered. One leaf fell and landed on the sand. Takan¡¯s eyes followed closely. ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°I used to do this with my big brother a lot.¡± That¡¯s what I remember. I took a leaf off of the branch and placed it neatly next to the first leaf. I took the leaves one by one, leaving a bare branch. When I placed the branch neatly under the leaves, the flickering light created an illusion that the leaves were still attached. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I looked up at Takan¡¯s sudden apology. I didn¡¯t understand. CH 49 I couldn¡¯t think of a reason why Takan would apologize. ¡°What?¡± Takan broke the twig that had been stinging the flames and threw it behind him, placing an elbow on his thigh and clasping his chin. After a while, he glanced resolutely at me and said, ¡°I lost it, the handkerchief.¡± ¡°Handkerchief?¡± If it¡¯s a handkerchief, there¡¯s only one thing I could think of that might be related to Takan¨C the handkerchief I had poorly embroidered my name on that I had given him. Takan sighed, scratched his eyebrows, then clasped his chin again. I pretended not to notice, but I could feel him looking at me. ¡°I don¡¯t know why I keep losing it.¡± Advertisements Come to think of it, Tarkan said that the handkerchief I embroidered resembled something he had lost. ¡°Did I lose it again?¡± He seemed to ask himself. Takan scratched the back of his head, hesitating to answer my seemingly difficult question. ¡°I lost the handkerchief that my sister gave me. That, too¡­¡± Takan frowned and swallowed hard. ¡°I¡¯ve been living my life in vain.¡± Tarkan let out a deep sigh and waved his hand as if telling me not to ask any more questions. ¡°Let¡¯s call it a night,¡± Takan said, reaching for the water bottle beside him to put out the fire. ¡°You have to stock up on stamina for tomorrow, so¨C¡± Suddenly, Takan froze. I felt a subtle tension when he suddenly stopped moving altogether. ¡°Takan?¡± His eyes wandered around, vigilant about his surroundings. As he gripped the water bottle, the veins on his hand appeared. ¡°Keep your head down.¡± Takan narrowed his eyes as he stared at one area. A cool breeze swept through the forest, chilling my whole body. I immediately bowed my head. Crash¨C. As Takan threw the bottle of water in the direction he was focused on, the bottle crashed into a tree and shattered. Maybe a beast appeared in the forest? The thought of it brought a chill down my spine. I reluctantly grabbed the bow and fumbled through the winds to pick up one of the scattered arrows. Soon, a sharp arrowhead passed through the fire. Unlike a while ago when he was calm, Takan looked nervous as he stared at something. In my nerves, I could almost feel my rapid heartbeat in my ears. Yes, I¡¯d been practicing all day. Even if I couldn¡¯t hit it, at least I could threaten it. I closed my eyes tightly before opening them, then I took an arrow to the bow and aimed. I narrowed my eyes but couldn¡¯t see anything in the dark. I turned in multiple directions to try to find the target, but the flames flickered for a moment and illuminated the darkness. Surprised at what I saw, I slowly lowered my weapon. Advertisements ¡°Kyle?¡± Kyle was in the middle of the forest where the moonlight shone through the leaves. He didn¡¯t look surprised when he saw me; he merely got off his horse. He looked so unkempt and scruffy that I almost doubted he was the person I knew. Kyle sighed and rubbed his face. There wasn¡¯t a hint of any fear in the pupils that appeared between his fingers slid towards the arrow aimed at him. ¡°So this is where you ran away.¡± No, I think it would be better to say he was as calm as the sea before the storm, and I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if he exploded immediately. I could feel Takan take a step back. It was clear that he also felt Kyle¡¯s dangerous energy. Kyle stared at Tarkan and seemed to suppress his anger. Only the sound of bonfires, tacks, and bonfires filled the silence. Kyle¡¯s eyes turned toward the bonfire and said, ¡°You must have had the time to run away and hang around in the middle of the woods.¡± His sarcastic tone revealed his feelings. He must have found us in the forest because of the bonfire. I couldn¡¯t believe that this fire became the beacon that revealed my location. ¡°Aelle, come here.¡± Kyle clenched his teeth and looked angrier as he looked at Takan and me. Well, it¡¯s not surprising that he felt betrayed since I ran away with Takan amid the misunderstanding that I was having an affair with him. ¡°Come here.¡± Tempering his soaring emotions, Kyle generously extended his hand but looked like a hunter who took a step back to set the trap. ¡°Enough wandering around.¡± ¡°Wandering?¡± ¡°You just lost a child and haven¡¯t recovered. Just wait until the forest is sealed off, then I¡¯ll take you wherever you want.¡± Advertisements Ha, I scoffed and smirked. It was absurd that my wishes and desires seemed nothing more than defiance to Kyle. When I didn¡¯t move, a subtle crack appeared on his face. He lifted his foot, licking his lips slowly with his tongue anxiously, and said, ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t come near me.¡± I raised my bow and aimed at him. In an instant, his face hardened. He seemed surprised that I had pointed the bow at him rather than that I was wielding it. I could hear Takan breathing heavily. He didn¡¯t think I¡¯d aim a bow at Kyle either. I looked around the bonfire and saw no signs of the knights. It wouldn¡¯t be strange if he had brought his knights here and surrounded us, but Kyle appeared here alone. I wondered if this was an opportunity. I thought of asking Rin for help, but it might only put him in danger, so we had to get out of here without anyone¡¯s help. Even the cold-headed man must have been shaken by anger and betrayal. ¡°Takan, prepare to leave quickly.¡± When Takan didn¡¯t respond, I turned to him and said, ¡°Takan.¡± Then Takan backed away and ran to where he had tied his horse. As the wind blew, the leaves fluttered, creating a dreary and delicate atmosphere. ¡°The forest is dangerous, Aelle.¡± ¡°You¡¯re more dangerous to me.¡± Advertisements When I glanced at the sword in his hand, he let out a short sigh as if he had forgotten that he had it before throwing it away. ¡°I have no intention of threatening you.¡± With a clang, the sword fell at his feet. Then, Kyle raised his hands in surrender. He probably wanted to ease my mind, but it was a mistake. His cooperation only heightened my anxiety. ¡°I told you, don¡¯t come near me.¡± ¡°I know you can¡¯t wield a bow.¡± As if rebelling against his remarks, I grabbed the bow¡¯s body and pulled the string to the point that my shoulder felt sore. ¡°Is that so?¡± His eyes widened for a moment. Not only did he think it was a joke, he didn¡¯t seem to think I was going to shoot either. His guess was correct. I could aim, but I didn¡¯t have the skills, courage, or guts to shoot. My inexperienced archery skills could cause more trouble if I injured him. But at least he could see my determination. When I didn¡¯t back down, Kyle sighed as he brushed his hair away. He stepped forward. Advertisements ¡°Don¡¯t move.¡± Even during the threat, Kyle approached without hesitation, narrowing the distance. Dry leaves crunched at his feet. My hand pulling on the bowstring had turned cold and white. My fingertips had gone numb, my aim shook, and I couldn¡¯t stand it any longer. ¡°Stop!¡± Taak¨C. At that moment, I let go of the string, and the arrow flew past Kyle¡¯s cheek and pierced the tree behind him. I gasped and took a step back. A line appeared on his unscathed cheek, blood pouring down. Droplets of fresh blood slid down his cheeks and under his chin. His eyes widened. I had no intention of shooting. The bow shook as if it would fall from my grasp when I dropped my hand weakly. After that, I just stared at him in a daze. I stared at Kyle as he wiped the blood with the back of his hand and watched the blood spread like paint. My breath hitched when I realized I could have killed Kyle if I hadn¡¯t missed. My hands trembled at the thought that I could have killed someone. ¡°I had no¡­¡± I squeaked out, my throat tight, and I took a deep breath. ¡°I had no intention of shooting you. Really.¡± I didn¡¯t want to, but I thought I had to explain. But even with my explanation, Kyle stared at my hand as if a little lost in his thoughts. I¡¯d rather he looked me in the eyes so he could see my sincerity. But, at that moment, the distant sound of a horse galloping broke the silence. The horse that Kyle had brought stepped back at the noise. The sound of the horse steps grew, and a firm hand grabbed my waist. When I came to my senses, I found myself in Takan¡¯s arms, riding in the saddle of his horse. Takan took a hard breath and rolled the horse¡¯s reins twice in his hand. He glanced at the arrow stuck in the tree and me and quickly grasped the situation. CH 50 Kyle, standing like a statue and staring at my hand, slowly raised his head. His eyes twitched in disbelief. ¡°How could you¡­¡± The heavy voice echoed in my heart. The beast-like man who gave off an unapproachable and daunting energy looked miserable, like a dog abandoned in the rain. Haa, I took a short breath. My whole body felt numb, and my face turned as white as a blank paper. In Takan¡¯s arms, I couldn¡¯t move as I met Kyle¡¯s gaze. An impulsive mistake had unexpected consequences. There was a time when I wanted Kyle to collapse because of me, but it was just a moment of intense emotion. I aimed an arrow at him and wounded him. Of course, anyone in such a situation would be angry, betrayed, and lash out. But Kyle looked as if he had been shot in the heart. Kyle whispered something softly, his eyes empty. I couldn¡¯t hear his voice and had to focus on his movements. His lips moved again. ¡°Madam.¡± Takan looked around and called me impatiently. We had to move or flee before Kyle¡¯s knights attacked. ¡°We have to go. There¡¯s no time.¡± Takan¡¯s voice echoed in the distance. Advertisements My eyes widened when I recognized the low whisper. ¡°Aelle?¡± Were you calling my name? At that moment, a torched flickered in the dark, and I could suddenly hear horses cutting through the bushes and narrowing their distance. ¡°D*mn it.¡± As Takan turned the reins with a curse, thick trees filled the view. Regardless of my will, my whole body shook, and I grabbed Takan¡¯s shoulder. When I got more accustomed to the horse¡¯s movements, I looked over Takan¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Your Grace!¡± A knight atop a horse leaped out of the darkness. The knight, who calmed down the agitated horse, shouted Kyle¡¯s name, but he didn¡¯t respond. Kyle¡¯s eyes were glued to us as we left. It was the same gaze as last time when I threw out my hand and ran away. As Kyle watched Aelle leave, it felt like his brain melted and disappeared. He had to catch her, but he was caught in an inexplicable pain and could only call her name. If he didn¡¯t do that, he wouldn¡¯t be able to breathe. His breath felt as cold as ice. ¡°Your Grace, they¡¯ll definitely be heading to the inn where there¡¯s a guide¡ª¡± Advertisements The commander who led the knights got off his horse and approached him but stopped in surprise. It was because Kyle looked entranced. ¡°Your Grace.¡± The commander carefully called for him again, but Kyle didn¡¯t respond. Kyle tilted his head as he stared at the half-pierced arrow through the rough bark. It was just an arrow that hit his cheek, but he felt an unfamiliar pain piercing his heart. Kyle put a hand over his chest and rubbed the area around his heart so slowly that the onlookers felt saddened. The man complained of pain. No, this wasn¡¯t because of the arrow. It was from when she pointed the arrow at him as she stared at her with lukewarm blue eyes. It was clear that it was an accident and a mistake; she even explained it as she stuttered. Her surprised appearance after causing harm was as clear as an imprint. Did he even have the room to reflect on the source of his pain? Like a bat waking up from hibernation in a cave, his eyes revealed his emotions. Kyle sighed and climbed onto the horse with his sword still on the ground. ¡°Your Grace!¡± As soon as Kyle grabbed the reins, a familiar knight who had followed him from the Harden residence dismounted and approached him. The commander grabbed the knight¡¯s shoulder to stop him. The commander¡¯s eyes widened and let go of the knight¡¯s shoulder when he whispered something to him. Kyle¡¯s cold eyes turned to the approaching knight and said, ¡°I¡¯ll hear it later.¡± The knight hesitated, followed again, and prostrated himself with his clenched hand on the ground. ¡°Your Grace! There are things we haven¡¯t reported before.¡± Kyle¡¯s face was distorted at the sight of the knight¡¯s persistence. He licked his lips with his tongue as if impatiently and turned his head. ¡°It must be important enough to risk your life.¡± The knight, who gulped at the Duke¡¯s vicious energy, said, ¡°I received a strange report from a knight who went out to the forest for an investigation.¡± ¡°A strange report?¡± Advertisements Encouraged by Kyle¡¯s reaction, the knight briefly bowed down and added, ¡°They said that they heard a human voice in the forest.¡± ¡°Human?¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯m sure monsters wouldn¡¯t have let people live there.¡± Human, huh. Kyle whispered to himself in contemplation. Doubt crept into his face. Upon investigation, it was said that there was a guide in the forest. Obviously, he would be just a greedy swindler who takes advantage of other people¡¯s naivete. For Kyle, the forest of Quetray was just an empty forest where monsters lived. Nevertheless, he dispatched an investigation team without abandoning the suspicion that something was lurking in the forest that had devastated Hari. Still, those who returned shook their heads, stating that there were only monsters and not a single hourglass. But what if the unfamiliar name Hari had mentioned multiple times wasn¡¯t Louis or a scammer who steals property? The sense of agility he had accumulated on the battlefield chilled his spine. Impatiently, he pulled the reins and looked back at the knight. ¡°Go now to the Harden residence and find out the name the Countess repeats.¡± Then, Kyle clenched his teeth and hurriedly drove the horse. I sat on the saddle, and leaned back against Takan as we moved. I gently raised the hood of the robe that obscured my view and looked around. I took in the damp air I could only smell at the crack of dawn before lowering my hood again. The cool air refreshed my head. Whenever I closed my eyes, Kyle¡¯s figure appeared like a canvas¨C him desperately calling my name for no reason. Maybe I was mistaken. Takan lowered his head after hearing a shallow sigh. ¡°Are you concerned?¡± ¡°About what?¡± I turned my head slightly and asked, feigning ignorance. Takan only glanced down and pursed his lips. It was embarrassing that I pretended not to know because I knew how he¡¯d react. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. He¡¯s a great man who wouldn¡¯t be surprised by a single arrow.¡± ¡°Worry?¡± I looked down at my hands to see the red marks from the bowstrings, and chuckled. ¡°I was worried about my hand.¡± Takan laughed and shook his head faintly. He blew a loud breath and glanced behind him. ¡°He¡¯ll catch up quickly. We don¡¯t have time to rest because we must hurry and follow the guide to the forest.¡± I nodded instead of answering. I lowered my hand and glanced at Takan. I planned to erase my memories and head to the coast. I want to sew again and live my life looking at the lush flower fields in the spring and the horizon in the summer. Suddenly, I wondered what kind of future he had in store. Advertisements I stared at Takan¡¯s large hand holding the reins and tilted my head, accidentally hitting his chin with the top of my head. ¡°Ah.¡± ¡°Ow, what are you doing?¡± He asked, rubbing the area with his hands. I stared straight ahead and recalled what I was curious about. ¡°Takan, what will you do after fulfilling my wish?¡± ¡°¡­¡± Was he thinking about it? He didn¡¯t speak for a while, and only the sound of the galloping horse filled the silence. I could feel him inhaling and exhaling vividly on my back. ¡°I¡¯m not sure. A little bit of atonement.¡± ¡°Atonement?¡± ¡°Yes, that. I¡¯m going to see my sister right away,¡± Takan answered vaguely. A question came up involuntarily. ¡°Where¡¯s your sister?¡± His hand suddenly gripped the reins. He didn¡¯t answer, so it felt like talking to a rock. I asked an unreasonable question. Takan broke the awkward silence and pointed his chin somewhere, changing the topic. ¡°We¡¯re almost there.¡± Before long, we crossed the dawn and arrived at Tigra, an underground area close to the forest. Even though it was called an underground area, it was simply a village close to the Quetray forest. According to rumors, this village was attacked by rogues during the war. Was that why it had a dark and gloomy atmosphere, and people called it an underground area? But did believers of Quetray live here? Looking around, it seemed inhabitable. The sight of the fallen leaves blown away by the wind and rolling on the ground added to the gloomy atmosphere. CH 51 We didn¡¯t run into anyone on our way to the inn at the mouth of the village. Was it because it¡¯s dawn? Perhaps Takan had the same thoughts as me, so he briefly fixed the reins. The inn we arrived at was enveloped in pitch black darkness, with no light in sight. It wouldn¡¯t be a surprise if a swarm of bats came out of the small, shabby inn with broken windows. ¡°Is this really the place?¡± Takan confirmed the name of the inn and shook his head, looking doubtful. At that moment, a figure left the yard of the inn and collapsed at the sight of us. ¡°Ugh!¡± The startled villager looked like an inn employee. As he came out of the woods, he had three or four firewood in his arms. When the stranger found his composure, he looked at us intently, his eyes meticulously observing us as if trying to figure out our identity. He tilted his head to try to see my face covered by my hood, but when he failed, he straightened and asked, ¡°Are you an outsider?¡± Takan nodded. The man dusted himself off and picked up the firewood he had dropped. Thanks to the man¡¯s surprise, the air became less tense. He no longer looked at us in suspicion. Takan and I eyed each other and sighed in relief. Advertisements The man pointed to a tree in front of the inn. ¡°The inn doesn¡¯t have stables, so tie the horse to the tree and follow me.¡± ¡°Why¡¯d you have to scare people,¡± the man mumbled to himself with a click of the tongue and turned around. Takan grabbed my waist to pull me off the horse. After setting me down on the ground, he grabbed the reins and moved to the tree. The horse looked exhausted from running nonstop. While Takan tied the reins to the tree, I looked around the village. It was early in the morning, but strangely, it was quiet and still. It felt rather gloomy. Creak¨C! For an instant, my body froze at the sudden ringing that pierced my ears. Takan let go of the reins and looked around the place. Takan hesitated for a moment before pulling out his sword from the horse¡¯s saddle. ¡°What are you doing?¡± The man looked back at us as if nothing happened and stared at us like we were the ones who were strange for reacting seriously. Takan merely widened his eyes at the man, waiting for an explanation without letting go of his sword. The man sighed and pointed his chin over the inn. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. That¡¯s just the sound of the cattle being butchered. Today, the stench of livestock feces will sting your nose.¡± The man waved his hand and turned to the inn carelessly before he stopped and looked back at us again. He asked, ¡°Are you going to the forest?¡± My heart dropped to my feet at the sudden question. How did he know that by just looking at us? I distanced myself from the man and took a step back. ¡°How do you know?¡± With a flat tone, the man said, ¡°If it weren¡¯t for the forest, do you think outsiders would come here?¡± The man¡¯s gaze passed the bow in my arms and moved towards the sword Takan held. ¡°Especially those with weapons.¡± I unconsciously adjusted the bow. In the end, the man eyes the barrel of arrows hanging from the reins and said, ¡°Leave your weapons behind.¡± ¡°But¨C¡± Advertisements ¡°The inn is safe,¡± The man said in a low voice. It sounded like a warning. ¡°D*mn it.¡± Despite Takan¡¯s obviously displeased look, he let go of his sword. He even clapped his hands to shake off the dust. ¡°Okay?¡± While being chased, he decided that he couldn¡¯t afford to engage in pointless haggling. As Takan put down the sword, I couldn¡¯t help but be stubborn. I put the bow next to the quiver. The man smiled contentedly and went to the entrance of the inn. ¡°Follow me.¡± I followed him over the brick threshold at the entrance. Creak¨C. The man opened the wooden door with one hand while still holding onto the firewood with the other. Soon a loud noise burst in. Was everything we saw a while ago just a facade? The inside and outside of the inn were distinctly different. On the inn¡¯s first floor, there was a dining room and a space to welcome guests. Contrary to the expectation that it would be quiet, the area was packed tightly with people. It was too difficult to count them, so I wondered whether all the villagers and devotees were gathered there. Without knowing why, my heart sank. The man approached the counter, gave him the firewood, and gestured at us. ¡°Guests, manager.¡± The so-called manager had a worse impression than Rin. His shaggy hair and beard were connected to sideburns, covering his whole face. A couple of glances passed between them. ¡°What is this place?¡± Takan looked around, doubt evident on his face. Honestly, I felt the same as him. Unlike the empty, quiet town, the inn was crowded. My eyes narrowed when I found someone in the crowd. A woman with black hair up to her waist and a white bandage around her eyes was carrying a plate. A red thread was tied to her wrist, but when I followed the end of that thread, it was hung on a hook hanging from the inn¡¯s wall. She seemed to move swiftly even when she relied on a single strand of thread. It went against reason and morals. I couldn¡¯t believe they left a woman who couldn¡¯t see by herself in such a busy place. Then she climbed the steps, fumbling against the wall with the plate in her hand. Advertisements ¡°Move!¡± One of the men passed her and run up the stairs, bumping into her. The woman stumbled in surprise when the man hit her on the shoulder. Clang¨C! She fell and dropped the plate. Fortunately, she slumped down the stairs, leaning on the taut thread as she leaned against the wall. ¡°What are you doing!¡± ¡°You idiot! Can¡¯t you do that?¡± Other employees who were moving the plates scolded her with a screech. It was a skinny old woman and a boy who was nothing but skin and bones. ¡°Shut up!¡± When one of the guests yelled at them, they fell to their knees and apologized. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry.¡± They were strangely submissive, even to guests. I looked through the restaurant thoroughly. I couldn¡¯t find a neat and healthy-looking person among the employees. Everyone was busy keeping an eye on the guests. Sharp eyes wandered in the air. With furrowed brows, I eventually swallowed the question that almost came out of my mouth. The owner of the eyes was none other than the woman with a white bandage around her eyes. Why did it seem like she¡¯s looking at me? She had those bandages, so she wouldn¡¯t be able to see me, but she had turned her head to exactly where I was. Perhaps they noticed my thought because the man who had been grumbling approached me closely and blocked my view. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. It often happens.¡± The man couched once then gestured towards the restaurant. ¡°Let¡¯s have dinner first¨C¡± ¡°I want to meet the guide,¡± Takan cut him off. For a moment, I had goosebumps. Everyone who had been eating stopped and looked at us. It felt like seeing the shapely eyes of a herd of beasts in a dark forest. ¡°Or is everyone in this place a guide? We¡¯re in a hurry.¡± Takan didn¡¯t seem to care about the daunting situation. I had no idea when the deafening silence would end. But at that moment, I heard dry wood creaking. Advertisements I looked up and saw a man coming down from the top of the stairs. Then, the intense gaze on us fell, and everyone jumped from their seats. Everyone held their breath and turned towards the stairs. ¡°Oh.¡± The man with the glasses looked sad. Unlike the appearance of a religious leader, he wore colorful ornaments all over his body that made his eyes frown. The man stopped in front of the woman who had fallen. The man¡¯s face contorted deeply with compassion and contemplation, as if he couldn¡¯t stand such a situation. ¡°It¡¯s messed up.¡± The man reached out and gently cleaned the bandage that had loosened. When he tried to help the woman stand, she retreated to the wall. A crack appeared on the man¡¯s face. A moment later, he smiled softly again. ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid.¡± The man gritted his teeth and twisted his shoulder to raise her. He then turned towards the crowd. ¡°Gentlemen, I can¡¯t stand abusive remarks directed at sick people.¡± When the man¡¯s voice rang with dignity, everyone bowed their heads with a loud reply. It was a sight to behold. As the man nodded and released the woman¡¯s shoulder, the woman ran away, climbing the steps in a rush. ¡°What are these people?¡± Takan muttered to himself in annoyance. While we knew they were a group, it was a shock to see how subservient they were to their leader. Just what was this crowd? CH 52 At that moment, the man¡¯s gaze shifted to us, the guests. I took an unconscious step back in unexplained tension, and Takan hid me behind him. Contrary to his aloof demeanor, his fists were clenched. ¡°Oh, guests.¡± The man spoke in a gentle voice and descended the remaining steps. I could see the corners of his lips rising. The man¡¯s peculiar expression made the hair on my arms stand upright, and my whole body was soaked with tension. I flinched as I grabbed Takan¡¯s shirt. Did no one else see his eerie smile? Come to think of it, the surroundings had been strangely quiet ever since. I looked away involuntarily, and my eyes widened. Those who bowed their heads slightly turned their heads to look at us. The countless eyes on me felt suffocating. Bloodshot eyes stained with greed. In an instant, a sharp intuition ran through my head. They were neither guests nor villagers like us. No, were there villagers here except devotees in the first place? It occurred to me that this might not be simply a group of Quetray¡¯s forest believers. My grip on Takan¡¯s shirt tightened. ¡°Are you okay?¡± Takan asked, turning his head to me. I nodded at him, feeling reassured. Meanwhile, the man had completely descended the stairs and approached us with open arms. ¡°Welcome,¡± he said, his voice deep. ¡°Thank you for coming. I am Carje, the person in charge of this inn and its members.¡± The exaggerated hospitality made me wearier. Carje stopped at a close distance and grinned like a predator. ¡°The number of people who want the hourglass is increasing, so Quetray will be pleased.¡± If anything, he looked proud. Carje put his hand on his chest, and after bowing, he held out his other hand to me. ¡°Why are you so scared? The monsters can¡¯t come out of the forest, so it¡¯s safe¨C¡± Tak¨C. ¡°Get rid of that,¡± Takan said, slapping his hand away. Carje¡¯s face hardened at once. He stared at his hand with a cold look. ¡°Leader![1]¡± ¡°Master, are you okay?¡± At that moment, a roar broke the heavy silence, and chairs fell to the ground. Everyone got up from their seats and stared at Takan. Leader? I narrowed my eyes, doubting what I heard. As if it were a religion, they called Carje their leader. ¡°A-are you alright?¡± The man who guided us to the inn rushed over and looked at Carje¡¯s hand. He squinted at Carje, constantly examining his hands with no sign of red marks, much less wounds. The man¡¯s behavior seemed like flattery rather than pure concern. Carje could obviously see through the man, but he merely smiled warmly. Then, when he waved his hand, the man bowed and moved away. ¡°Did you say that your parents¡¯ ghosts follow you?¡± The man¡¯s face darkened at his question. Carje tapped his shoulder and said, ¡°Don¡¯t worry. You will be able to forget it. You deserve to see the hourglass left by Quetray.¡± The man¡¯s eyes widened comically, and he bent over, ecstatic. ¡°Thank you, thank you, Leader!¡± A sigh of disappointment broke out among the people. The others also seemed to have regained their appetite and started eating again. I narrowed my eyes and watched the scene. Previous conversations revealed that Carje knew the exact location of the hourglass. That meant he was the guide, and it was the reason the people treated him like a deity and followed him. It seemed they had their own clear discipline. I couldn¡¯t let go of my doubts about Carje, but we didn¡¯t have time. Kyle would be chasing us no matter what. Carje beckoned, and the man took a step back. ¡°Thank you, thank you!¡± I let go of Takan¡¯s shirt and stepped forward. When Carje felt my presence, he turned to look at me contemplatively. ¡°Hmm.¡± After taking a breath, I put my hand in my pants pocket and patted the necklace. I gave one earring to the boy and the other to Takan, so all I had left was the necklace. The necklace clanged when my hand brushed against it. ¡°I¡¯ll give you a reward, so please guide me to the forest,¡± I said in a low voice. I couldn¡¯t hear an answer for a while, so I thought hard to see if there was anything else he wanted. ¡°I would like to see your face first.¡± Carje reached out to my hood. I pushed my face down as I stepped back and pressed down the end of the robe. I hurriedly bowed my head. I no longer needed to hide my face or features, but I had to be vigilant in case Kyle pursued them all the way here and interrogated them. ¡°What are you doing?¡± Takan reached out and stopped Carje. Carje frowned, but after a while, a mask of a smile appeared on his face. ¡°You¡¯re a shy person. Please understand, it¡¯s because I¡¯m sensitive to what happened a while ago.¡± A while ago? When Takan remained on guard, Carje raised his hands and retreated. ¡°Well, let¡¯s gradually get to know each other.¡± ¡°Gradually get to know. This is urgent.¡± Takan lowered his voice, revealing his discomfort. Carje did not give in and called the woman sitting atop the stairs. ¡°Rafnel, please guide the female guest to the trainee¡¯s bedroom.¡± ¡°Trainee?¡± Takan asked, one eyebrow raised. Carje turned to Takan and looked him up and down arrogantly, and Takan¡¯s frown deepened. ¡°Especially tell her what to do to be saved.¡± Carje turned around completely with a suspicious smile. Takan, who looked like he had finally reached the limit, approached him. ¡°Hey, right now¡­!¡± At that moment, the manager stopped in front of Takan. The handsome manager held a sword with one hand, his eyes fixed on Takan. Takan swung his hand in the air while trying to take a stance to draw his sword, as was his habit. He cursed under his breath when he remembered he didn¡¯t have it with him. Carje looked back at Takan, shrugged, and laughed in that breathless kind of way. Takan sighed, brushing his hair. When he looked back at me, he looked calmer. ¡°Let¡¯s just go to the forest. Whether it¡¯s the path or the hourglass, I¡¯ll find it.¡± ¡°Takan.¡± I shook my head. There was no easier way than this. I had the goods to satisfy Carje¡¯s greed. I felt a strange sense of dread in the man¡¯s eyes. I knew those eyes. I knew it very well. I¡¯ve had it for years, maybe even my whole life. The skin that had been filled with greed and abandoned even the slightest bit of conscience as a human being was just like Father. Carje took the necklace I had in my hand so he could see it better. The necklace, which had fallen from my grasp, shook and clanged. ¡°Will this be my reward?¡± Carje¡¯s face was half-concealed by his hood. His lips, already slightly open, parted widely. ¡°Oh, you have something to offer to God!¡± After quickly grasping the situation, Carje rubbed his hands with a greedy smile. Then he rubbed his chin in contemplation. ¡°Hmm, that¡¯s good. So let¡¯s do this.¡± ¡°How?¡± ¡°Once you are assigned a bedroom, we will take you to the resting room. As it is a risky job, I should know who the customers are,¡± he said firmly as if he could not concede that alone. Suddenly, sighs erupted everywhere. The eyes of those who had been silent turned to me with envy. Furthermore, the villager who had guided us to this place glared at me. ¡°You¡¯re a trainee who just got here,¡± the villager gritted. Didn¡¯t he just gently guide us through the inn? He was incredibly hostile. Carje, who tapped the manager on the shoulder and whispered something, turned around. ¡°I¡¯ll see you later.¡± Then, he passed the woman upstairs and ordered, ¡°Please show the female guest to the bedroom, Rafnel.¡± The woman called Rafnel nodded to Carje but didn¡¯t move. She clenched her teeth, her gaze glued to the ground until Carje¡¯s shadow disappeared. When Carje was out of sight, a commotion broke out in the crowd. As they sat upright and ate their food, the air buzzed. ¡°This way.¡± The manager took the lead and looked back at Takan. Takan stayed in place, rooted in his spot. The manager¡¯s eyes rose at his lack of cooperation. ¡°What are you doing and you¡¯re not following?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going with this woman.¡± The manager smiled with a shocked expression on his face. He smoothed his thick beard and gave off a sinister smile. [1] ??? is usually used for religious sect leaders CH 53 ¡°In this sacred place, s*x is forbidden. You can¡¯t share the same bedroom, so please cooperate.¡± The manager assumed our relationship with blatant sarcasm. It was quite insulting. ¡°This b*stard¡­¡± Takan shook his head with a growl. Before he went out in a fit of rage, I pushed Takan on his back and urged him, ¡°Takan, it¡¯s all right. Go.¡± Takan swallowed his anger and looked away. ¡°But¡­¡± I stood up and pushed Takan¡¯s reluctant back again, and he headed forward as if being carried away by the waves. I smiled as bright as possible so that Takan could leave without hesitation. ¡°I¡¯ll see you later in the resting room.¡± I made brief eye contact with Takan, whose eyebrows twitched. He knew my stubbornness was formidable because of the time we spent As if giving up, he sighed and turned around. Advertisements ¡°Be careful,¡± he said, his voice laced with worry, and followed the manager. Eventually, I was left alone in the dining room. I stared at Rafnell as she leaned against the wall and made her way down one step at a time. The red thread that had been tight at the end of the stairs gradually loosened. ¡°Hurry up!¡± Rafnel flinched when someone shouted. A few others cursed at her. Someone even threw food in her direction. My eyebrows furrowed at the dreadful sight. It seemed so natural for them to belittle and persecute her. Even Carje¡¯s hypocrisy did not dilute their evil deeds. Rafnel staggered over and bowed lightly. Now that I¡¯d seen her up close, her condition was severe. She had dark eyes and was basically skin and bones. There were also blisters along her lips. She stopped in front of the table and turned her head towards the entrance. I figured she could no longer move. She bowed helplessly. ¡°I will guide you¡­¡± Rafnel spoke without hesitation and turned around. I followed at her pace. As I went up the zigzag stairs, the second floor was quiet, unlike the cluttered first floor. The second floor, which appeared to be a space for women, had a long corridor with numerous doors. Rafnel stopped before she climbed the remaining stairs. ¡°Please wait a moment.¡± Rafnel exchanged the taut thread hanging from her wrist for a thread handing on the wall. It seemed that there was a limit to her path of movement. With the new thread on her wrist, Rafnel moved against the wall. Advertisements I looked around and couldn¡¯t resist my curiosity. ¡°What does being a trainee mean?¡± Rafnel stopped and turned in my direction. After a moment¡¯s hesitation, she said, ¡°Those who are new to the group¡­ Only by building virtue can you become chosen, and by being chosen can you go to the forest¡­¡± I was about to ask what the conditions for virtue were but held my tongue when I remembered Carje¡¯s face filled with greed. ¡°Is everyone here building virtue to go to the forest?¡± Rafnel nodded her head once and turned around. Only now did I fully understand the situation at the inn. So everyone must be swayed by Rafnel¡¯s words. Rafnel, who was moving while pointing at the door, suddenly stopped and raised her hand. She touched the number on the wooden nameplate, her fingertips moving down and grazing the doorknob. Then, she fumbled and grabbed the doorknob and opened it. ¡°You can use this.¡± Leaning against the wall, Rafnel walked into the room and stumbled upon a threshold. She banged her forehead on the ground with a thump. ¡°Ugh!¡± ¡°Are you alright?¡± I grabbed Rafnel¡¯s arms to support her, and she trembled and stiffened at the sudden touch. She groped my wrist around her arm and wrapped her hands around it, and then I heard a sigh of relief. ¡°Can you get up?¡± Rafnel squeaked and got up but staggered again as her legs lost strength. Despite her thin body, I couldn¡¯t ignore her weight as she leaned on me.* At that moment, the bandage around her eyes unraveled, and one eye appeared. The one I saw was strange, her iris white. Rafnel¡¯s eyes widened in an instant. She swallowed a gasp and slammed her hand on my shoulder. ¡°Ugh,¡± I groaned as I was pushed by a strong force, falling on my bottom on the hardwood floor. My hood fell at the impact. ¡°W-why¡­ Why are you back? Are you crazy?¡± Rafnel, trembling like a dog shivering in the cold, scolded me. Advertisements I looked up, but I couldn¡¯t see her face because of the glare of the light behind her. I couldn¡¯t figure out the situation but only noticed one thing. Rafnel, she could see me. Judging from her looks and actions, I expected her to be blind. Perhaps I had been too narrow-minded because her gaze was clearly fixed on me. ¡°Huu¡­ No, no.¡± Rafnel swallowed her moans in agony and struck her head to hurt herself. Then, as she paced the room left and right, she abruptly stopped. ¡°Are you okay?¡± She asked, her gaze focused on me. ¡°Of course not.¡± Her eyes trembled and quickly darted around, making it clear that her mental state was unstable. ¡°Why did you come back when I finally helped you out?¡± Rafnel suddenly shouted. There was no trace of the muffled voice I had heard before. ¡°Do you think you can save me?¡± ¡°What¡­¡± My eyebrows furrowed, confused at what was happening. Rafnel sat and grabbed my by the shoulders as if tying me up. How did such strength come from such a frail body? I leaned back, but Rafnel¡¯s touch followed. ¡°I don¡¯t believe you¡¯re a nobleman. Don¡¯t be a hypocrite and get out of here right now!¡± Rafnel panted. As she pushed her face close, the remaining bandage fell to her shoulder and revealed both eyes. ¡°I told you, this place would be hell.¡± Hell? Rafnel¡¯s mad eyes gleamed in the darkness, and her face filled with emotion twitched. I held my breath as I stared at the agitated woman. I was startled, but oddly enough, she didn¡¯t scare me. Rather, I could feel her desperate screams and anguish. ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Advertisements Rafnel¡¯s eyes widened, and her breath caught in her throat. ¡°No¡­¡± She gently shook her head, then tapped her head with both hands over and over again. ¡°No, no. It¡¯s not him.¡± She repeated those words like a mantra and continued to shake her head. ¡°D-did you come here because you resented me? Big sister is sorry, Duke[1].¡± Rafnel rubbed her hands, begging forgiveness. Duke? I didn¡¯t know why, but she seemed to mistake me for someone else. It probably wasn¡¯t because of the darkness either; she could see my face as clear as an engraving in her pupil. Was she hallucinating? If so, I understood why she bandaged her eyes and obscured her vision to avoid mistaking people for someone else. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have brought you here. I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t know, I really didn¡¯t know they¡¯d abandon you in the woods.¡± Abandoned in the woods? I narrowed my eyes and focused on those words. Tears welled up in her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sorry, Duke! I¡¯m sorry for letting you die alone!¡± Rafnel¡¯s face contorted in despair. Tears fell from her narrowly curved eyes. ¡°In the first place, there was no hourglass¡­ It¡¯s like a memory, a memory¡­¡± No hourglass? It felt like my heart fell at my feet and into an abyss. Her words were too meaningful to be dismissed as the remarks of someone insane. I had come this far with only one wish. I got up and went out into the hallway. Watching for signs, I took the lantern hanging from the wall and hurriedly closed the door. I sat back in front of Rafnel, then wrapped my arms around her. ¡°Sister.¡± Advertisements I¡¯m sorry, Rafnel, but this is the only way I can get answers. She stared at me in a daze. I continued, ¡°What do you mean? There¡¯s no hourglass?¡± Rafnel stared at my trembling hands, and her face contorted with regret instantly. ¡°Oh, poor Duke, you never knew.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°People here will not know until they die!¡± She rubbed the back of my hand with her left hand. Her tears fell on our hands. ¡°There is no forest that erases memories, and no hourglass, Duke!¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± Her words poured out like water from a broken dam as she shook her hair frantically and grabbed at her hair. What kind of place is this? ¡°Carje is nothing more than an unscrupulous con artist!¡± Rafnel spat in a fury. ¡°He made me¡­ He put me in prison!¡± ¡°Ha.¡± I couldn¡¯t help but scoff. CH 54 Rafnel grabbed my dress in anger, and then beat her chest. ¡°No way. No way¡­¡± My heartbeat sped up, my whole body trembled, and my mind went dark, unable to think. Rafnel was outraged for a long time, but soon, she lowered her hand as if exhausted. She looked around then stared at me with a more subdued expression. ¡°Duke¡­¡± Soon, she crawled impossibly slow toward me and cupped my face. I could see my face in her dark pupil, my face as white as a sheet of paper. Like black and white, I felt that our feelings were reversed. ¡°Duke, my dear Duke.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be sad, I won¡¯t forgive the people who killed you.¡± Rafnel patted my cheek with her rough, calloused fingertips. Advertisements ¡°I¡¯ll let you hear a desperate cry in the fire,¡± Rafnel whispered, but I could barely hear it because my mind was too distracted. ¡°Today, Duke. Today.¡± Then Rafnel bowed her head and shrugged her shoulders as she started laughing to herself. She seemed utterly insane. She and I both. I was struggling to breathe, so I slapped Rafnel¡¯s hand and wrapped my face tightly with both hands. I hid my face and closed my eyes, and soon calmed down. If what she said was true, then this was all just an illusion stemming from Carje¡¯s greed, who was nothing more than a con artist. Yes, looking back, people who went to Quetray forest but no one returned. Were there ever claims that they saw the hourglass? When the crowd that filled the inn¡¯s dining room suddenly flashed through my mind, I understood¨C all those who didn¡¯t return were there. I¡­ what had I been after? When I realized my only hope had deceived me, it felt like my heart had been ripped out. Despair and anger filled the emptiness. What was I going to do? How could I live? My body slowly fell to the floor, and when the top of my head touched the ground, I was enveloped in the filthy feeling of being thrown into the mud. Advertisements As if my soul had escaped, my sobbing breath escaped through the cracks of my hands. Would I live the rest of my life thinking of Kyle, my child, and my father? Then, a person I had forgotten suddenly came to mind. ¡°Brother¡­¡± What about Brother? I still didn¡¯t know if he was dead or alive, but now it was different that I knew about the hourglass¡¯s existence, or the lack thereof. I vaguely thought he lived somewhere, but maybe not. What if Brother was here? What if Carje led him into the forest and abandoned him there? I felt like I had been hit in the back of the head. ¡°Rafnel!¡± Similarly to what Rafnel did to me a while ago, I grabbed her by the shoulders and rocked her back and forth, Rafnel shaking helplessly with a sleepy expression on her face. It was as if her body was left here and her soul was sent to another dimension. I stuttered and said the name that was now buried in my memory. It was a name I thought I would never be able to get out of my mouth again. ¡°Heinbell, Heinbell Carena!¡± The name came out of my mouth without hesitation after years. ¡°Do you know Heinbell Carena? Is he here, too?¡± Advertisements Rafnel blinked her glazed eyes repeatedly, yet she didn¡¯t speak. While waiting for her answer, my heart burned. It was hard to get an answer from someone who had lost her mind. Just what happened in that prison? I bit my lips hard, hesitated, then, with a guilty mind, said, ¡°Sister.¡± At that one word, a bonfire flickered, and a reddish tint appeared in Rafnel¡¯s eyes. The soul, which had slowly disappeared, returned. ¡°What happened in prison?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Rafnel shuddered as if not wanting to recall. I grabbed her shoulder again as she walked away. ¡°Rafnel!¡± Rafnel shook her head at my shrill voice. ¡°I-I said I was leaving the inn, and this strange drug¡­¡± Strange drug? After stuttering, she covered her mouth as if she was about to get sick. She bowed her head to the floor, groaning and gagging. Reflexively, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her in my arms. ¡°A hallucinogen, maybe?¡± My jaw dropped in surprise. If that were the case, it¡¯s no wonder she was confused. I turned to look at the tightly closed door, as if Carje was there. Of these many believers, there must be those who, like Rafnel, have come to know the truth. How would he deal with that kind of person within the fence? A hallucinogenic drug to make them lose their mind. What could be easier than this to control a rebel? It was a method that was very suitable for someone like him. I couldn¡¯t believe everything Rafnel had said, but if all of her claims were true, then Carje was dividing the class and extorting the goods. No high-ranking official would be interested in Tigra, where the rogues or asylum seekers were likely to stay. So it would have been easy for Carje to run like a fish in water. Advertisements Ha. I scoffed and covered my mouth. By the way, where was Takan? If he¡¯s in prison¡­ I felt the chills as if a rake scoured my back. I remembered Carje¡¯s gleaming eyes as he looked at Takan. What if Takan was imprisoned because of me? ¡°No.¡± ¡®There¡¯s no forest.¡¯ Kyle¡¯s words rang in my head and I groaned. Kyle, I should have listened to him. Did he know? No. If he did, he would have searched for Tigra and its followers, not the forest. I closed my eyes tightly, then opened them at the rushing regret. My ego had become a self-inflicted beast. ¡°Calm down,¡± I whispered and shook my head. Now that I was in a situation that could put Takan in danger, regardless of my brother¡¯s life or death, could I afford to fall into despair and regret? My pulse thumped heavily in my ears as I tried to calm my heart. I needed to find Takan. I clenched my fists and opened my eyes. ¡°Duke?¡± I lifted Rafnel¡¯s torso and wrapped the bandage around her because her slip of the tongue could stop me from meeting Takan. Unlike the duke¡¯s residence, I couldn¡¯t be free as long as I was in this inn. She sat still like a madman until I wrapped the bandages around her eyes. I took the lantern and moved toward the window, looking at the window sill to look for the entrance to the inn. It wasn¡¯t until I swept across the place countless times that I could find it. There. When I squinted and looked in all directions, I saw the brick threshold I had crossed from the entrance. ¡°Please, please, please be there.¡± I hurriedly stared at the other side of the threshold, but unfortunately, the horse, supposedly tied to the tree, was gone. The weapons, too. Haa. As I groaned and lowered my head, the dark brown hair that had escaped from my robe fell like fallen leaves. At that moment, I could hear someone climbing up the stairs. I raised my head and stared at the door. ¡°It¡¯s unbelievable. The trainee is in the resting room.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you see it? It was pure sapphire. It is a virtue that is worthy of accumulation. It was nothing compared to the minerals you dedicated to Quetray.¡± Advertisements I could hear women¡¯s voices through the door. ¡°D*mn it, it was the most valuable thing in my d*mn husband¡¯s keepsake!¡± A roar of voices echoed, then someone shouted, ¡°I¡¯m so angry. I want to punch that girl to feel better!¡± ¡°What? Are you insane?¡± ¡°Why not! She¡¯s a trainee at best.¡± Thud¨C! I heard a slam and a creak on the floor that drew closer to the door. I took a deep breath and gripped my hood. Creak¨C, Thud¨C. The women opened and closed the doors in search of me. ¡°It¡¯s all right. I won¡¯t go alone,¡± Rafnel suddenly muttered to herself, and the sound stopped. Rafnel sat like a stone and mumbled, ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s okay, Duke. Don¡¯t be sad.¡± It sounded like a chant from a deluded person. ¡°The red thread broke off at the door. Could she be there?¡± A heightened voice echoed outside the door, and they drew closer, using Rafnel as a landmark. ¡°Get up.¡± I hurriedly got Rafnel up and took a couple of steps back. The thread around her wrist gradually tightened. CH 55 At the moment when the old doorknob rattled, a shout ran through the hallway. ¡°What are you doing!¡± I patted Rafnel¡¯s trembling back, comforting her, and looked at the door. ¡°Did you forget the rule of not going anywhere except where you were assigned? Huh?¡± ¡°I-I was just passing by. I¡¯m sorry, Manager.¡± Shrill voices begged for forgiveness. Manager? So it was the suspicious person who guided Takan. ¡°P-please, to the Leader¡­¡± The woman¡¯s voice, full of tension and fear, subsided, and I heard the Manager click his tongue. ¡°Get lost!¡± I heard them run away as the Manager shouted. ¡°Anyway, they brought a little money.¡±* The murmur ceased, and the sound of the footsteps faded. I let go of Rafnel¡¯s hand when I heard a soft knock at the door. Advertisements ¡°Ah¡­ Ah¡­¡± Rafnel took a rough breath and grabbed my hand, but I patted it to reassure her and headed for the door. A creaking, hinged sound rang as the door opened, and light permeated the darkened space. ¡°What are you doing? You should have gone already.¡± The Manager, lit behind by the hallway light, stood intimidatingly in front of the door. ¡°Sir Carje is waiting for you. Hurry.¡± The Manager seemed nervous. Was he in cahoots with Carje? I gripped the lantern tighter when the thought crossed my mind. I didn¡¯t have evidence to reveal Carje¡¯s true nature to the people at the inn, and I wasn¡¯t even sure they¡¯d trust me. So it would be safer to join Takan and get out of here and for the Duke¡¯s troops to rush in and subdue them. I didn¡¯t expect the time would come that I¡¯d want Kyle to track me down even though I ran away. It was absurd. But if that happened, I¡¯d be able to know about my brother¡¯s state and keep that woman safe. I turned to look at Rafnel as she remained rooted to her spot. ¡°Huh? Rafnel!¡± The Manager narrowed his eyes when he found Rafnel hiding in the dark. Soon, he turned to me, who had been in the same room with her for quite a long time. ¡°What did you do here?¡± Suspicious eyes alternated between Rafnel and me. ¡°Answer me¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s a pretty long story, but I¡¯ll tell you if it¡¯s okay to keep Sir Carje waiting.¡± Advertisements The Manager groaned as he got rid of the knot on his neck. I turned the robe hood over to reveal my face. ¡°¡­¡± The Manager started at my face for a moment, raised his brows and mumbled to himself, ¡°It¡¯s not that d*mn girl.¡± Then he turned around, waving his hand. ¡°Follow me!¡± I was about to leave the room and close the door, but the Manager noticed and snapped his finger. ¡°Hey, why are you closing the door when someone is inside?¡± The Manager knocked on the door, narrowing his eyes at me. I thought it would be easier to keep Rafnel in the room. When I opened the door again, Rafnel fumbled into the air for a while then came out into the hallway. ¡°That kind of thing is my subordinate*,¡± the Manager mumbled before begrudgingly going downstairs. I placed the lantern on the wall mount and turned to Rafnel, hoping she would continue to stay quiet. ¡°Duke¡­¡± My heart just about stopped when I heard her speak. I was terrified the Manager might have heard it, too. Fortunately, he continued making his way downstairs as if he hadn¡¯t heard anything. ¡°Hurry up!¡± I hesitated because I was worried about leaving Rafnel but soon followed the Manager. For me, it was more urgent to check if Takan was alive or not. If we escaped this place, the knights of the duchy would come in and attack Carje of atrocities, and things would be resolved. I hurriedly closed the distance with the manager. I glanced at the restaurant as I passed the first floor, but strangely, unlike before, it was deserted. ¡°Follow me,¡± the Manager beckoned to the dark basement. So there was one floor left. The Manager¡¯s lantern illuminated the darkness that engulfed the stairs. Advertisements I held onto the handrail as I followed the Manager downstairs. Soon, a long and narrow corridor appeared. I stopped briefly, feeling a chill down my back, then moved. After a while, the Manager stopped and took a key ring from his pocket. He picked one from the pile as it rattled against each other. Clang¨C. As the Manager struggled, the door suddenly opened. Behind the slowly opening door was a smirking Carje. The Manager hid his pile of keys and lightly bowed. ¡°Mr. Carje.¡± After some time, his eyes widened, startled by my bare face. Then, he looked at me intently with his lustful eyes before closing his eyes. ¡°Welcome.¡± Carje stepped aside and cleared the way, but I didn¡¯t have the courage to enter immediately. ¡°Come in!¡± As I took a deep breath, a large, clunky hand mercilessly pushed my back. My eyes widened as I looked around the place. Like a navigator¡¯s office, forest maps were strewn on the wall. It wasn¡¯t just the walls. They were on the ceiling, tabletop, chairs and couches, even the floor. A deer¡¯s head was attached to the front, but when I met its shiny golden eyes, my mood dampened. For a moment, Carje and Father¡¯s looks overlapped, but I tried to shake off those thoughts. Below it, two men of the same physique as the Manager stood with their hands behind their backs like trained, loyal dogs. My mouth remained agape as I took in the scene, and Carje coughed and covered his mouth with his fist, a chain golden bracelet shining on his wrist. ¡°Oh my, you¡¯re surprised,¡± he looked impatient that he couldn¡¯t show off that it took a lot of effort to find the hourglass. ¡°I have been following the whereabouts of the hourglass here for a long time.¡± Advertisements Then, for a long time, he preached the existence of the hourglass by touching the walls, floors, and furniture with his hands. Carje narrowed his eyes as he explained, as if he had really put in an effort. But, even if he really did, the result didn¡¯t change. Suddenly, there was a knock, the door closed, and the Manager disappeared. ¡°Please sit down.¡± Carje sat in front of the table and invited me to sit on the other side. Questions about Takan¡¯s whereabouts bubbled in my throat, but I swallowed them. I couldn¡¯t afford to show them my impatience. ¡°Have you heard from Rafnel?¡± Carje asked as he caressed his chin, his lustful eyes gleaming. Soon, I realized what his question meant and nodded. ¡°If you have heard the principles and rules, the story will be quick. Only by accumulating virtues will you be qualified to leave the trainee position and go to the forest. If you ask if you can go to the forest just because you¡¯re qualified, you can¡¯t.¡± ¡°What?¡± I slammed the table with my fists. Carje placed a finger over his mouth and shushed me, and the act reminded me of an adult comforting a child. ¡°I came just for that.¡± ¡°Yes, I know. How desperate you are. Even the people here were angry at first.¡± ¡°So what?¡± I snapped back with a curt remark. ¡°Since Quetray does not allow it, I, his messenger, can¡¯t allow it either.¡± Carje rubbed his chest in remorse. It was a pathetic performance that a stranger would have instantly realized it was acting when they saw it. I caught the sight of his frowning lips slowly rising. Advertisements ¡°So I ask,¡± Carje said, opening his eyes to look at me. The gloomy atmosphere disappeared instantly. ¡°What kind of life did you lead before you came here?¡± ¡°What does that have to do with the forest?¡± Carje shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t mean to pry, but it¡¯s up to me to understand everyone¡¯s feelings as long as they¡¯re at the inn.¡± Was it for insurance? Or to gauge if they could handle me? No, it was probably both. Even if the power and money blinded them, they must know that regardless of status, it¡¯s a risk for someone to enter the inn. What¡¯s more, a rare person came with a precious thing. Carje¡¯s ravenous eyes fell into the pocket of my trousers where my necklace had come from. After a while, he put on a kind mask and asked softly, ¡°Why did you come to this place?¡± ¡°Do I have to tell you?¡± The words came out sharper than I expected. Carje frowned, but soon, his smiling mark returned. ¡°But in this place¨C¡± ¡°Where is the man who came with me?¡± Enough with the introductions. CH 56 Carje¡¯s eyes widened for a moment, his cold, stiff face looking bewildered. Feeling my clear gaze, he immediately erased his expression and trembled. ¡°There are so many things I want to ask you. What is your relationship with him? You don¡¯t appear to be family or mere close friends.¡± Ignoring his intentional remarks to change the subject, I stared at the ceiling covered with maps. ¡°Is he in the male residence?¡± ¡°May I know your name? I¡¯ve never heard your name before.¡± ¡°Come to think of it, I couldn¡¯t even say hello to my companion. Where is he?¡± I blocked his inquisition immediately. After answering each question with another, Carje stepped back with a sigh. For a moment, he looked annoyed, but it was quickly erased with his worldly skills. ¡°He is, of course, staying in the assigned quarters.¡± Carje shook his head wistfully, his expression so deceitfully gloomy that anyone who didn¡¯t know the circumstances would believe it. ¡°He wants to see you, too, but unfortunately, guests are not allowed to meet with their companions until they¡¯ve adjusted¨C¡± ¡°Another rule?¡± I cut him off. ¡°I can¡¯t go to the forest, I can¡¯t even meet my companion. Who makes those rules? This inn has a lot of restrictions and controls, but the interior isn¡¯t that great.¡± Advertisements As I went on, Carje¡¯s carefree expression vanished. He was outright frowning. ¡°Are you doubting the existence of the hourglass? Please do not insult Quetray,¡± he said, raising his hand in denial. ¡°No, not doubt, but conviction.¡± ¡°What¡­¡± Carje trailed off, clearly at a loss for words. ¡°I¡¯m sure that¡¯s why I¡¯m going to the forest right now. You say it¡¯s impossible, so I¡¯m trying to get out of here and head for the woods.¡± ¡°Are you saying you¡¯re going without my help?¡± Carje raised his voice in disbelief, his brows furrowing furiously. His eyes wandered before lowering his gaze in thought. It seemed he only realized what my words meant then. ¡°So, in a nutshell, you want to leave this inn.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve already wasted enough time. I can¡¯t afford to procrastinate even more.¡± As soon as I said those words, Carje started looking nervous. The people who came to the inn must have been enchanted by his words and followed him blindly. It wouldn¡¯t be unusual to convince people who were already exhausted and unable to think rationally with a few sweet words. They would have succumbed to the man who said he knew the location of the hourglass from the map on the wall. So, if he met someone like me who went against them, he¡¯d hesitate. The confidence, necklace, and appearance of looking like a noble would increase his anxiety, and he¡¯d worry that the person he was facing was a high-ranking noble or a famous person. Above all, it would not be strange to try to get out of the inn if I strongly insisted on going to the forest. If I were in his position, he would suspect that someone who¡¯d leave the inn was a member of the Imperial army or a family member trying to rescue the followers. If he gave them room, they would respect him like a god, even if it¡¯s not just a material factor, it¡¯s probably enough reason to want to keep them at the inn.* If his anxiety had overwhelmed him, would he have overreacted to those who wanted to leave the inn, and maybe imprisoned or subdued them? It was proof that he had prepared for the worst-case scenario even if he had to commit a crime. I lifted my chin slightly and wedged it in. ¡°Are you going to tell me I can¡¯t do even this?¡± Advertisements Carje took a step back. He raised his hand as if to cut the flow of conversation. ¡°Give me some time to think.¡± Then he stroked his chin, deep in thought. A look of nervousness was evident in the eyes that wandered to his feet. If only I could go with this momentum. I narrowed my eyes and clenched my fists. It would be best to drive him back like this and get the horse back along with Takan, but I knew it was impossible. However, with the necklace, it was not difficult to leave the village even if Takan wasn¡¯t in perfect condition. It didn¡¯t matter if the money was extorted as long as we could leave the inn. After a while, Carje took a deep breath, straightened, and whispered more relaxedly, ¡°No, you don¡¯t have to.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± As if he had escaped his anguish and found the answer, Carje seemed more relaxed. ¡°I will take you to the hourglass.¡± ¡°What did you just say?¡± When I raised my voice, Carje grinned at me, showing me his teeth. ¡°I told you I was going to take you.¡± I almost burst out into laughter but bit my lips to endure it. Watching him say that with a cunning tongue and hateful look was absurd. He obviously wanted me to leave.* It was that or throw me to the monsters as prey. I didn¡¯t obey him the way his followers did, so it probably wasn¡¯t a bad idea for him to get rid of me. Advertisements If I were found dead in the forest, he¡¯d be able to insist on his innocence by claiming that demonic beasts ate me. Even if he tried to hide it, it was obvious that he didn¡¯t care who I was. The only thing that mattered to him was that he could deal with me in the forest. As I watched him closely, he tilted his head and asked, ¡°Why? Isn¡¯t that what you wanted?¡± Unpleasant, insidious eyes scrutinized me. No matter how hard I tried to stay calm, that brazen face made my blood boil. I gritted my teeth. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, venting out my emotions. I was never born with a strong will to survive as I did today. I came out of my endless despair to ensure that Carje received the punishment he deserved. In terms of causality, not everyone in the inn, including Carje, was innocent. They stood by and silenced those who were imprisoned with Rafnel. Even if the Imperial found finds out, and they went to trial, not everyone here would be safe. I didn¡¯t know if Kyle would come, so if I went to the woods once I got out of the inn, I didn¡¯t know if I would survive. I swallowed my remorse and widened my eyes. With a grin, Carje stood leisurely from his seat. Unlike before, he looked relieved and relaxed. ¡°Then let¡¯s go.¡± I remained in my seat. ¡°You haven¡¯t answered my question yet. I will go to the forest with him.¡± Emotionless, Carje stared down at me as if to see my intentions, then smiled softly. ¡°I will ask the Manager to call him.¡± It was hard to keep a straight face while trying to deceive him. But I knew it would be better than being here with him. My initial plan to get out of the inn went awry, so I had to check Takan¡¯s condition, at least. I wore my hood again to hide my face. ¡°Yes, together,¡± I repeated then stood up. ¡°Then I will guide you.¡± Carje turned around, and the two men behind him promptly moved. With their lanterns in hand, they opened the door, moved to the hallway, and bowed. It seemed like a fairly familiar behavior. Advertisements Carje looked at the scene with satisfaction, then exited the door and entered the dark hallway. As soon as he received the lamp from the soldier, he slowly turned to me. ¡°Are you not coming?¡± ¡°Of course I am,¡± I said with a smile, walking quickly to the door. ¡°Finally, I can go.¡± I acted like a person who couldn¡¯t hide my excitement that I was heading to the forest. Carje¡¯s gaze landed on me as I gripped my hands and held them tightly until my fingertips turned red. ¡°Yeah, you¡¯ll feel better.¡± He covered his mouth with his hand to hide his scornful smirk. His voice brought a chill down my spine. ¡°Leader, we¡¯ll go with you¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± He told the two men following us and looked away from me. I didn¡¯t miss the opportunity and stared at the end of the hallway, but there was nothing I could call a prison. It was nothing but the end of the hallway. If there was a prison, I thought it would be somewhere here. I bit my lip and stared intently at the wall. ¡°Where are you looking?¡± At that moment, Carje¡¯s hot breath grazed my face. Carje moved his face close to me, and my eyes widened at the distance. I backed away and got ahold of myself. CH 57 When he tapped me on the shoulder and stepped forward, I pushed him away and slammed my shoulder against the wall. ¡°You¡¯ll fall,¡± Carje said, wrapping his arms around my shoulder with no sign of displeasure and giving me a gloomy smile. ¡°Hey, I apologize if I offended you. By the way.¡± I stopped walking at Carje¡¯s meaningful words and looked back. As if he remembered what he had forgotten, he arrogantly clapped his hand holding the lantern. ¡°I need something in kind to give to Quetray.¡± His greedy eyes slid right to the pocket of my pants that contained the necklace. I was so shocked that I couldn¡¯t even laugh. What a shameless act of extorting money to the end. I coldly watched this arrogant man act as if he had become an omnipotent god. A moment later, I smiled and rummaged through my pockets, feigning excitement. ¡°Alas, I was so excited about going to the forest, I almost forgot about it.¡± Feeling the cool touch of the metal on my fingertips, I pulled out the necklace and waved it in front of him. The necklace shimmered thanks to the lantern. ¡°Here you go.¡± Carje held out his hand with a lustful smile. ¡°Now, give it to me.¡± Advertisements I stretched out my hand with the necklace as if I was about to give it to him, but as his hand approached, I hid it behind my back. Carje¡¯s eyes widened as he stared at his hand in the air. The smile on his face slowly disappeared, and anger creeped in. ¡°What are you doing?¡± I shrugged and avoided his gaze. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t I have insurance too? No matter how much I give to the god, I¡¯m anxious because none of my wishes have been fulfilled.¡± Carje gritted his teeth and narrowed one of his eyes. It¡¯s inevitable because he didn¡¯t trust me, so unsurprisingly, he looked displeased. ¡°Oh, is that so?¡± However, what followed was a voice with a strange grin. As if to hide his expression, he placed a hand on his chest and lowered his head. His disturbing eyes gleamed between his flowing hair. ¡°Do not worry. God will always be with you.¡± An ignorant person would think it was a kind and reassuring gesture toward an anxious person, but for me, he spoke as if I doubted the existence of his god. It also sounded like a reprimand that my faith was only that small. ¡°Thank you for your understanding.¡± I put the necklace back and, like an impatient person, took the lantern from his hand. ¡°Then let¡¯s go.¡± Did emotions move like fire? After realizing I had made a mistake, my attention was solely focused on Takan¡¯s safety, and I was nervous. Carje and I walked non-stop along the long passageway lit by the lanterns, and soon enough, we reached the stairs. ¡°You don¡¯t have to be in such a hurry. The forest won¡¯t run away.¡± Ignoring Carje¡¯s words, I continued rushing upstairs. When I climbed the last step and looked up, I saw a quiet first floor. Until a few hours ago, this was a crowded restaurant. Now, there wasn¡¯t a person in sight. Even the manager who guarded the entrance of the inn like a gatekeeper had disappeared. He was going to bring Takan. ¡°Ugh.¡± Suddenly, the smell of oil overwhelmed me. The smell of oil, heavy enough to give me a headache, made my brain pound and my stomach churn. I covered my nose with my sleeve and breathed in while filtering the air. Advertisements Upon careful examination, things were different from what they had been a few hours before, as if the thick fog had receded. The red thread hanging on the wall was randomly cut and scattered on the hardwood floor, and the wooden table and the hardwood floor were stained with an unknown liquid. As I looked down, I noticed a stain that I had stepped on. I lifted my feet, crouched down, rubbed the damp floor with my fingertips, and brought it to my nose. ¡°Ugh.¡± Again, there was a heavy smell of oil. It could only be interpreted as someone deliberately pouring oil on it. Who would do it and why? At that moment, a voice that had been deeply entrenched in my thoughts suddenly came to mind. ¡®I¡¯ll let you hear a desperate cry in the fire.¡¯ No way. My eyes widened. I looked back at Carje, who had just reached the first floor. ¡°Where if Rafnel?¡± He stopped, staying in one step, and stroked his chin. His raise lips made it obvious that he was enjoying my distress. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re looking for her, but you don¡¯t have to rush like this¨C¡± ¡°Answer me!¡± I screamed, and Carje frowned. ¡°Rafnel? What about her?¡± He refused to answer my question. Although my efforts were in vain, the situation was too urgent. At least, finding Takan would be a relief. I turned around, leaving the lamp on the ground. On the first floor, I looked around the entire inn, looking for doors or gaps people could enter other than the stairs. Thud¨C. At that moment, a loud sound echoed from the wall¡ªthe same wall with an iron hook hanging Rafnel¡¯s thread. ¡°The wall?¡± Advertisements When I looked closely, my eyes narrowed, I saw a door disguised as a protective color hidden in the wood grain. There was no doorknob, and there was no boundary line, so it was almost unrecognizable. The hook was a kind of mark. Instinctively, I moved, but a moment later, Carje blocked it like a barrier. He raised both hands as if to calm down. ¡°If you move beyond this, the proposal is broken. The manager will appear soon-.¡± Bang¨C! In an instant, the wall vibrated and shook, and the remaining thread hanging from the ring fell. Then, while I froze, the wall shook more violently than before. ¡°Eat! Eat it!¡± The manager¡¯s loud and angry voice rang out. It was a firm voice that could not be defied. Bang, bang, bang-! ¡°Sh*t!¡± After three violent thuds, the door opened, and a man in a suit jumped out, swearing and falling. I watched his cool blue hair curl like a wave and fall. ¡°Takan!¡± I pushed Carje and ran to him. I sat beside him and brushed the light blue hair away from his face to check his complexion. His face was drenched in cold sweat. ¡°Takan, are you okay? What the heck is this¡­¡± When I turned my gaze to the door, Carje took a hasty breath and closed it. There was the manager who fell like a broken stem. ¡°Maybe that¡­¡± Takan lay face down as he tried to raise his upper body, supported by his elbows. He panted and seemingly struggled even to get his body up. I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him to rest his head on my thighs. ¡°Takan, come to your senses¨C¡± I stopped when I felt something wet on the back of his head. When I removed my hand, blood was dripping like paint. ¡°Oh my gosh.¡± ¡°Ugh.¡± He buried his face in my leg and moaned as he wrinkled his nose in discomfort. Soon after, he spit something out, and something white came out, bounced to the ground, and rolled to a corner. I followed its movement and slowly opened my mouth. Advertisements Takan had spat a round, white pill the size of a fingernail. Even if no one told me what it was for, I immediately knew. ¡°A hallucinogenic drug,¡± I whispered to myself and looked back at Takan. He wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and stared at the pill with glazed eyes. ¡°I still have a weak stomach, but I¡¯m sick of eating these things,¡± he managed to croak out. He shook his head and moaned as he covered his eyes with a large hand. ¡°No, d*mn it.¡± His low voice choked. He clasped his face as if he were going to rip it off. I didn¡¯t expect him to be in jail. Even if he didn¡¯t swallow the hallucinogen, it would have taken effect if they had put it in his mouth. It was enough to go through a battle with the manager and endure it. I gritted my teeth and angrily raised my gaze. ¡°Carje.¡± ¡°T-this is.¡± Carje retreated and stared at the manager. The man who acted like a good person and arrogantly looked down on people was nowhere to be found. ¡°Aack!¡± Then, I heard a scream that seemed to pierce my eardrums, and my whole body shivered. I reflexively tilted my head and stared into the moonlit window. I saw the shadow of crows flying across the moonlight and entangled leaves. The silence that followed for a few seconds brought a chill down my spine. ¡°W-what! What¡¯s that noise!¡± Carje, who knew all about the inn, looked at the second floor in bewilderment. Somehow, I felt like I saw his real face in the way he shouted in fear. Crackle¨C![1] At that moment, a red light flashed from the mouth of the second-floor railing, and fire wrapped around the second-floor hallway instantly. [1] ?? is the sound of lighting a fire, but I couldn¡¯t think of a more appropriate translation in English. CH 58 Like a burning wick, flames occupied the railing on the second floor. I stared as the flickering flames stretched from the top and descended. ¡°F-fire! Fire!¡± From the top floor to the second floor, people ran out like wild dogs. They broke through the fire as if swimming in a waterway.* Fearful screams like gunfire, flames rising unpredictably from the source, and people¡¯s eyes gleaming red. The horror in front of me slowly unfolded. ¡°Come on! Vicky!¡± ¡°Kyaaa!¡± Someone¡¯s clothes caught fire and fell off the railing; another ran downstairs carrying their child. Some even disappeared into the fire. Most people fell off the railing while shaking off the clothes on fire, so the people coming down to the first floor were being filtered like impurities. People struggled and went down the stairs to reach the first floor, and only then did Carje finish understanding the situation. He groaned, pounded his buttocks, and stepped back. ¡°Ugh, n-no¡­!¡± The man, who was once the head of the group, was hit and trampled by the crowd. While dozens of footprints were left on the hem of his robe, no one looked back at the man they had served until now. He backed away, terrified, crying, and crawling like a dog. Carje, who had lost strength in his legs, groaned and eagerly grabbed the passing legs. When the man whose ankle Carje grabbed turned around, Carje¡¯s face brightened immediately. He had no doubt this person would help him. ¡°T-take me! If you take me out to the forest¨C¡± ¡°You idiot!¡± The man smashed Carje¡¯s face with his foot to get him off him. Carje immediately fell. ¡°Ahh!¡± Carje collapsed, covering his eyes with his hands. Heavy tears and blood fell through his hand. ¡°Let go!¡± The man groaned and shook his foot, but Carje relentlessly grabbed his leg and wouldn¡¯t let go. ¡°Save me¡­Help me¡­!¡± The arrogant Carje who looked down on people was no more. He looked up at the man, his face full of fear. At that moment, a flash of flames lit the man¡¯s face. ¡°You¡­!¡± Carje¡¯s eyes widened in a flash. The person he was holding on to by the leg was none other than the soldier I had seen underground. Carje¡¯s facial muscles convulsed with shame. ¡°Let go, let go!¡± The man, who had acted like a loyal subordinate until just a few minutes ago, stumbled and ran over Carje. Even though the man disappeared in the crowd, Carje followed the path with his remaining eye. ¡°T-take me! You must take me!¡± The crowd¡¯s panic swallowed his pleas. I stared blankly as he crawled to the crowd. As I witnessed his tragic end, the rage that had been churning deep in my heart was extinguished, unlike the raging fire. Bang¨C! Bang¨C! My eyes turned to the sudden noise. The sound of friction spreading through the crowd was very hasty. Several men rushed to the door, but the door did not budge. One of the men ran to the dining room, grabbed a wooden chair, and tore through the crowd. ¡°Get out! Get out!¡± Slam¨C! The man pushed the chair over his head and hit the door once, but the chair bounced off. It flew off the man¡¯s hand, hit the wall, and broke into pieces. ¡°D*mn it! Come with me!¡± As the man rushed to the door again, a group of men followed him and ran with him. Bang, bang¨C! In despair, the girl holding her mother¡¯s hand ran to the restaurant. No, come back! People screamed behind her, but the girl brought iron bars from somewhere and knocked down the window. Crash¨C. People turned their heads at the sharp noise that pierced their ears. In an instant, the girl who broke all the windows on the first floor beckoned her family. The crowd in front of the door jumped into the open gap in a hurry to save their lives. And the girl and her family went out. I looked around as I inhaled the smoke. ¡°Cough!¡± My upper body shook as I coughed endlessly. The fire had not yet spread entirely to the first floor, but my throat was sore, and my eyes stung. The flames were spreading, and I bowed my head. My gaze went to the oil-stained hardwood floor. This place would burn once the fire reached it. My hope to live disappeared; so did my hope to find my brother and save Takan. I couldn¡¯t think of anything now. There was a vacuum in my head, and I had no will to do anything. I blinked and bowed my head. Would things have been a little different if I had stopped Rafnel? No, I wouldn¡¯t have met her in the first place if I hadn¡¯t come to Tigger. No, if I hadn¡¯t gotten pregnant. If only I hadn¡¯t met Kyle. No, no. I smiled sadly and shook my head. Thinking about it was futile. As someone said, everything went wrong the moment I was born. Yes, it might be better to die like this. This might be my fate. I struggled to try to compromise with reality. It would have been easier if I had let go. But there was one thing I continued to do¨CI always followed in my brother¡¯s footsteps. I didn¡¯t know if I could find my brother in this burning place, so if he was alive here, we would die together.* The firepower increased when the flame crossed the stairs and reached the first floor and touched the oil. In the roaring flames, Kyle came to mind. I remembered the last expression I saw on that man¡¯s face. Tak¨C. At that moment, someone grabbed hold of my arm. My body trembled at the warmth of his hands, and I looked down to see Takan frowning at me. ¡°Are you doing this because you want to die?¡± He asked, his voice cracking. When I saw him, my mind wandered back. ¡°Takan?¡± Takan stood, supporting his body with his arms before collapsing. As he struggled, he coughed up the fumes in the room. ¡°Sh*t.¡± Bang¨C. He slammed his head against the hardwood floor to keep himself alert and opened his eyes. His previously unfocused eyes gleamed fiercely through his tangled hair. His bloodshot eyes made it look as if he had been beaten in the head. It felt as if cold water had been poured into my brain that was spinning in a daze. I quickly took off my cumbersome robe, wrapped one hand around him, and placed Takan¡¯s arm over my shoulder. Takan, realizing the intention, resisted and asked sharply, ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°What am I doing? We have to go.¡± It was a struggle to carry an adult man on my shoulder, but I stubbornly got up. Like a newborn deer, I wobbled as I wrapped my arms around Takan¡¯s waist. ¡°Go alone.¡± ¡°No, I won¡¯t.¡± Tak¨C. Takan shrugged off my arms and fell to the floor. ¡°I don¡¯t care, even if I¡¯m alone¨C¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be stubborn!¡± Takan looked up at me with blank eyes and frowned. He swore, closing his eyes tightly before opening them again. He groaned and got up and put his hand on my shoulder. ¡°I owe you one.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.¡± Every time his leg left the floor, I staggered under the weight, but it wasn¡¯t unbearable. As we headed toward the shattered window, the railing on the second floor began to collapse. Bang¨C. Bang¨C! When the darkened wooden board fell and shattered, I turned to the noise and found a woman sitting on the burning railing. I narrowed my eyes and saw a familiar figure. ¡°Rafnel?¡± Rafnel looked down at me with empty eyes, her bandages off and a torch in her hand. The hand holding the torch gradually loosened, and it fell. The torch, which spun and fell to the first floor, was swallowed by the fire. She smiled brightly for a moment as she looked down at the blazing fire. Her eyes turned to me and narrowed. Her face was clouded by the smoke rising like a haze. It was a clear noon with the sun rising in the east, and the sound of horses running echoed through the forest. Chirping birds flew away at the noise. As Kyle struck the horse¡¯s thigh, the horse roared and accelerated. ¡°Your Grace!¡± As he sprinted, the knight commander struggled to follow. The horse galloping through the air was panting and drooling due to extreme fatigue. CH 59 ¡°Your Grace! If you go too fast¡­!¡± The commander said as he followed Kyle closely behind. ¡°You¡¯re too noisy!¡± Kyle, who immediately dismissed his advice, accelerated further. The commander could only look on in surprise. Perhaps because the commander realized that the Duke, who had never lost his composure even on the battlefield, was strangely agitated, no, it was appropriate to say he was nervous. Their distance grew as he stared blankly at Kyle. The commander soon followed along, his face troubled as he gripped the reins. The knights were about to enter Tigger. The advance team and the investigation team reported a forest guide over there and that it was by no means something to be seen. He narrowed his eyes and stared at Kyle¡¯s back. He had a feeling he should bring the Madam back to the duchy safely no matter what. After thinking about it, the commander increased his speed just as the Duke abruptly stopped. He pulled the reins, and the horse raised its front paws and whined. ¡°Your Grace!¡± Kyle stopped his horse and stared blankly at the sky. Puzzled, the commander followed Kyle¡¯s gaze. Advertisements On the way to Tigger, the knight¡¯s destination, smoke rose over the thick leaves. At the unusual sight, he turned to Kyle. ¡°Your Grace, maybe¡­!¡± He stopped when he saw Kyle¡¯s pale face. ¡°Your Grace.¡± A sigh escaped his teeth. Kyle frowned harshly and urged his horse without a moment¡¯s notice. The commander looked back at the knights following him as the Duke disappeared like a haze. ¡°Speed up!¡± After that, he got out of the ranks and drove his horse. His hands, holding the reins again, were wet with sweat. With a robe wrapped around the window sill with broken glass, Takan pushed out his arm. I pushed him on the back to urge him. ¡°Go first!¡± I swallowed my breath at the end of my sentence, inhaled the thick smoke, and coughed. Wouldn¡¯t I suffocate before being engulfed in flames? I couldn¡¯t hold back any longer, as the turbid air made me breathless. After realizing he couldn¡¯t delay any longer, Takan gritted his teeth and passed through the window, leaning his torso forward to go outside. He coughed as he reached out his hand to help me but soon stumbled. With his body on the floor, he tapped his temple with his hand, seemingly confused again. Crack¨C, Crash¨C. The fire grew stronger as the railing collapsed and fell. It was more dangerous now. I crossed my arms to protect myself and approached the window. Crash¨C! At that moment, the creaking ceiling tilted and fell, sparks flying. ¡°Ugh!¡± The wooden plank ruptured, and a piece flew away like a dagger. I faltered, holding my face burning in pain. And for a moment, I jumped straight into the window billowing with smoke. As I finally escaped through the window, I immediately stumbled into the yard. Digging as if swimming through the gray smoke, a lush village landscape appeared. When I saw the gloomy landscape, I couldn¡¯t help but find it beautiful after escaping the flames. Advertisements ¡°Cough, cough!¡° I choked when I took a quick breath of fresh air. I gripped my neck, coughed, and ravenously breathed in. The sound of air passing through the throat was blatantly audible. My breath finally became stable when my mouth was stuffy, and my throat stung. I looked down and saw the burnt hem of my trousers. It¡¯s fortunate I was wearing menswear, otherwise, the hem of my dress would have burned out. ¡°Cough!¡± Takan frowned and twisted his body like a fish out of water. His delirious episode didn¡¯t seem to have stopped as he coughed in pain. ¡°Takan, are you okay?¡± I slapped him once on the cheek, but he didn¡¯t open his eyes. I looked around the inn where the heat continued to engulf us and wrapped his arms on my shoulder to pull him. We needed to get away from the inn. I took a step back and dragged him along. Over and over again, I had to lean over and sit down, but at least it was safe to go to a place away from the inn. I dragged him to the bottom of the tree where I had tied the horse. Just as we almost reached the area, I felt a round object on the sole of my foot. Like inertia, I slipped. ¡°Ugh!¡± When my butt hit the weedy ground, the cob that had been trampled on bounced off. I could no longer see the hazelnuts that rolled into the grass. It was such a peaceful and insignificant sight that the previous situation felt unrealistic. I¡¯m alive. We¡¯re alive. It was not until I looked around the situation that I felt the reality that I had left the inn. My rigid body relaxed and leaned against the tree. I sighed in relief and lowered my gaze. Advertisements His face, blackened by smoke, was calm in contrast to the situation. Unlike before, he didn¡¯t seem to be breathing. In an instant, my heart sank. ¡°Takan?¡± I put my trembling fingers under his nose. Please. Please. It felt like a very long time. I just hoped he wouldn¡¯t die because of me. When my finger grazed the tip of his nose, I felt a slight breeze, and relief instantly flooded me. Fortunately, he was only breathing thinly because he was exhausted. His breath, seemingly blocked by a stopper, was finally released. Blackened by soot, we were a mess. The glossy hair that Lil and Mas meticulously cared for had become dry and tangled, its ends singed by the fire. The stiff shirt I had borrowed from Rin was mercilessly wrinkled, and the hem of my trousers had been slightly burnt in flames. Perhaps if Laura had seen me, she would have nagged and said that my dignity as a lady would be undermined. What if Lil and Mas saw it? Lil would wash my hair without saying a word, while Mas would cry, saying she was upset that my hair, which she had managed, was ruined. Suddenly, a faint smile grew on my lips. Yes, they would have done that. Suddenly, I remembered the believers scrambling to survive as they pushed the girl out of the window. Just by looking at how ruthlessly they treated Rafnel, they would use the situation to their advantage, and those who aided and abetted would escape. I had no choice but to meet Kyle and report it directly. What would he say if he saw this mess? He would definitely laugh at me for not listening to him. Yes, that¡¯s right. It was his last face I saw that struck my mind for a moment. No, maybe a different one. Waah¨C! A child¡¯s cry pierced my ears as I was lost in my thoughts. Unfortunately, the situation was still dire. The cries of a crying child in their parents¡¯ arms, the shouts of people trying to put out the fire, and the sound of people running. Advertisements Some of them sat in front of the inn, crying. They couldn¡¯t leave the front of the inn despite people¡¯s dissuasion to step down because it was dangerous. Come to think of it, did that girl make it out of the inn? I turned my head and saw a girl among the men who were carrying water. She was quelling the inn¡¯s flames without hesitation. ¡°Come on!¡± When I turned to where the people ran, I saw a forest across the inn. Trees surrounded a lake, and the water¡¯s surface sparkled in the sunlight. It sometimes lost its light when the surface rippled as people took water. I looked down, staring at my empty hands, and stood up. Blindly running to the lake, I looked back at Takan. Was it okay if I left him like this? ¡°Cough! Cough!¡° At that moment, Takan coughed and his body shook. Thank goodness. He took a deep breath and suddenly grabbed my wrist as if to stop me. He couldn¡¯t even open his eyes properly, yet he managed to croak out, ¡°Are, cough, are you all right?¡± I nodded and let out a breathy laugh. Who should be worrying about who? Instead, he was worried about me, even though he was in agony because the effects of the drug continued to plague him. When I didn¡¯t answer, his grip loosened, and his hand fell. As he lost consciousness, I whispered, ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡± Swoosh¨C. At that moment, a dreary noise of a dull object being dragged on the ground came behind me. When I heard the sound passing through the grains of sand vividly, my whole body reacted sensitively. The sound that had been narrowing the distance suddenly stopped nearby. CH 60 A faint energy spread throughout my body for a moment, and tension of unknown origin prevailed. Then, as I slowly turned away, a chill down my back that reminded me of a rake scratch, a person whose face was hidden by the light behind them had a mace over their head. Thwack¨C! ¡°Ugh!¡± Without a chance to evade it, the mace slammed into my head. I groaned at the sudden agonizing pain and fell to the ground. The mace fell with a loud thud. The pain came next. My mind became dull, and I continued to feel the pain of the weapon striking my head. The rough surface of the soil scratched my face, and my scalp felt like it would tear, as if someone had grabbed my hair. I didn¡¯t like the feeling of the hot liquid flowing through my forehead, drenching my hair. Takan, lying next to me, must have felt like this, too. I couldn¡¯t lift a finger, but suddenly my body turned over and I saw the sky filled with black smoke. Someone¡¯s hand slipped into my pants pocket. Advertisements ¡°D*mn it! Where is it!¡± The hand rummaged through my pockets and pulled out the necklace. I heard the rustling of metal, and my trouser pockets felt lighter. ¡°Stop¡­ it¡­¡± I grabbed the wrist slowly moving away, but when the stranger shook off my grip, my hand fell helplessly. I narrowed my eyes and stared at the man examining the necklace. He was one of the guards who had abandoned Carje and ran from the fire. ¡°I¡¯m glad I worked underground¡­!¡± He ran away in the opposite direction of Quetray forest, leaving the mace behind. The footsteps faded, the pain in my head intensified, and my vision flickered. ¡°Haa, haa¨C¡± I panted. As my head fell to the other side, I saw a girl running toward the unquenchable fire. I couldn¡¯t help but laugh helplessly at the sight. I wanted to help her put out the fire. In the end, I didn¡¯t even set foot in the woods and only pursued an illusion. Did I keep anything from Carje just to make this situation? The memories I wanted to forget were overlaid with even worse memories, and the tangled thread that I thought would be released if I lost my memory was not resolved. Advertisements What changed? I slowly closed my eyes in helplessness, then lifted my eyelids with all my might at the last blurry figure I saw. There, Takan¡¯s brows furrowed, and his eyelashes trembled. Yes, Takan. I saved him. Fortunately, Takan surviving brought comfort to me. He wouldn¡¯t have gone through this if he hadn¡¯t followed me. The guilt I felt was indescribable. He said he would atone for his sister¡¯s death. How heavy would his atonement be if measured by weight? Would this empty feeling resolve all his atonement? I closed my eyes slowly and opened my eyes at the thought that suddenly hit me. No, it didn¡¯t solve anything at all. What¡¯s more, if Kyle was about to attack this place, would he be able to see her sister? I had to meet Kyle and tell him about what happened here, but Tarkan¡¯s absence wouldn¡¯t have much of an impact. I reached out to him. My fingers swept the hem of his robe tantalizingly. ¡°Ugh. Takan¡­! Takan!¡± I called out to him, my voice hoarse. ¡°Takan, wake up!¡± As my mind went blank and my voice faded, my head throbbed, and my vision turned dark. In the chaos, Takan raised his trembling eyelids, and I let go of his hand in relief. As the broken sunlight penetrated through the leaves, I couldn¡¯t bear the rush of light and lost consciousness. The fire, which had risen beyond control, was stopped at the inn due to the people¡¯s efforts. The inn, which managed to maintain its shape, was barely spared from being burnt down. The survivors scrambled around the inn, losing their minds and falling to the ground. Only the girl went back and forth between the lake and the inn. Tap, tap¨C. Advertisements As the girl headed back to the lake, her footsteps resounded. When the girl shaded her hand to avoid the scorching sun, she saw a man through a crack in her hand. As the man pulled the reins, the horse raised its front paws and stopped. The girl stared in awe at the man atop his horse, his flowing black hair fluttering and his back against the sunlight. People faltered and stepped back as knights flocked to the inn, but the girl only looked blankly. ¡°Stop!¡± Some tried to attack the knights while others ran away in confusion, but they all stopped at the voice of the coercive knight. Soon, they sat down in surrender and exhaustion. As the man atop the horse went down, the girl¡¯s eyes widened when she saw him up close. It was the first time in the girl¡¯s life she had seen such an overwhelming and beast-like energy. The unusual man had a complicated expression, as if nervous and anxious. The girl was accustomed to the many men around her who made such expressions. Her stepfather, who beat her and her mother, the butcher with a foul mouth, and men with nasty tempers always made such scary faces. Each time, she would fall into her mother¡¯s arms and tremble in fear. But why? Advertisements She was mesmerized by his appearance, and the moment she looked down, she realized it. An overbearing man, twice her height, was anxious like a child who had lost his mother. He looked contemplative as he looked around with eager eyes, unable to breathe. ¡°Are you the only one left?¡± The girl couldn¡¯t answer the man¡¯s question, knowing it was directed at her. The girl, who hesitated a little and nodded, was suspicious that the man who only looked straight ahead would understand her intention. The man turned around blankly and gave a simple order. ¡°Extinguish the flames completely and capture all the people involved! Then, the rest of the forces will search for the Tigger and the culprits!¡± The knights moved swiftly. The girl looked into the man¡¯s eyes as she was dragged by the ruthless hand of the knight. Eyes stained with despair that were too deep to fathom. Kyle hurriedly passed the people who were being suppressed by the knights. He looked at the faces of the people, then ran toward the inn in despair. ¡®Aelle.¡¯ Aelle. Kyle whispered her name so softly that it was barely audible. ¡°Your Grace!¡± The commander stopped Kyle and stood in front of him. For a moment, he hesitated to block the path of his master but was glad he did when he saw Kyle¡¯s face. Upon seeing Kyle¡¯s sullen look, he had a hunch that his reason was cracking. ¡°The fire is still there so it¡¯s dangerous. The inn may collapse, so please¨C¡± ¡°Move,¡± Kyle growled in dismissal. Kyle gently pushed him away, keeping his gaze fixed in front of him. The commander didn¡¯t give up and continued to block Kyle¡¯s way, his arms wide open. ¡°Your Grace, calm down, and leave Madam to us, urk¨C¡± Kyle grabbed him by the collar and threw him, the commander flying and falling to the ground. The commander furrowed his brows and said, ¡°Your Grace¨C¡± Advertisements ¡°If you stop me from this, I will understand that you are prepared for death.¡± Kyle shook his head, walking away without a single glance. While the commander closed his mouth, Kyle had already disappeared. As Kyle arrived at the inn, the knights extinguishing the residual fire frantically retreated. Kyle approached without hesitation and smashed the charcoal-scorched wooden plank with his bare hands. The planks were wet enough to dampen his skin. Surely, surely, she must be alive. Kyle kept saying things that even he couldn¡¯t understand. He didn¡¯t know if he was praying for the first time in his life or wishing for Aelle. Even though he knew a person couldn¡¯t survive just by looking at the state of the inn, he stubbornly repeated his actions and entered the entrance. After removing the damp wooden planks, he went into the inn and shouted, ¡°Aelle!¡± Her name didn¡¯t resonate as loudly as it did in his chest. Burnt corpses were mixed with boards, their hair gone but their body still intact. ¡°Aelle¡­! Aelle!¡± Kyle threw away the planks, shouting her name like an inertia from within. The boards, which flew mercilessly at his touch, rolled over. He looked at the body regardless. He looked for her in the pile of corpses, trying to find her outline, vivid in his mind, drawn with his eyes closed. He acted like an insane man and continued until all the bodies hidden under the boards were identified. How long had it been? Kyle repeated his actions regardless, and when he saw a body of similar build, his eyes widened. CH 61 His back shivered as if he had been scratched with a rake. Haa, haa, as he took short breaths, he slowly approached and knelt in front of the body. He hesitated to reach out. He wasn¡¯t used to having his hands tremble the way they did. His trembling pupils slowly scanned the body from head to toe before his fingertips touched the body¡¯s cheeks. As his hand rubbed the corpse¡¯s cheek, he could feel scorched, coarse skin. In fact, there wasn¡¯t much skin left on the body, so it was impossible to confirm who the person was. But why? Kyle could tell as soon as he touched the body¨C this wasn¡¯t Aelle. To alleviate his anxiety, he told himself that the body was a little smaller than hers and the fingers shorter. So, it definitely wasn¡¯t her. He felt his breath stop when he checked the body. Far from discouraged, he was relieved that it wasn¡¯t her. As he rubbed his nape, he gritted his teeth and frowned. If she¡¯s not in the inn, she must be in town. If not inside the village, then outside. Anywhere else, she must be alive. Please let her be alive. Kyle¡¯s gaze fell on his thigh, and his expression softened. ¡®Kyle.¡¯ Advertisements That was the only time she had said his name with such ridicule, but he¡¯d rather she call him just like she did.* It wasn¡¯t her name that came out of his mouth if he couldn¡¯t reach her. It was just a word, and it would only be meaningful if it reached her. He had to reach her to quell his anxiety and fear. Thud¨C. The hand on his neck fell, and he stayed still for a long time. ¡°Aelle,¡± calling out her name, Kyle wanted to beg the woman he couldn¡¯t reach. He wanted to find her, not her body. Don¡¯t die. I want you to stay alive. Don¡¯t leave me. Just let me say your name properly. If she were alive, he would give her what she wanted. Nothing was out of the question if only she were alive. Closing his eyes tight, Kyle swallowed and exhaled, struggling like someone who had forgotten how to breathe. His hair swayed like ripples in his heavy breathing. Standing at the inn¡¯s entrance, the unsettled commander stared at Kyle¡¯s back. His master, kneeling in front of the corpse, looked like he was about to collapse. ¡®Is that really Madam¡¯s body?¡¯ Despite seeing his master¡¯s gloomy expression, the commander called out, ¡°Your Grace.¡± ¡°¡­¡± As if expecting he wouldn¡¯t receive an answer, the commander continued, ¡°The knight sent to the Harden mansion a while ago has arrived at Tigra. According to his report, the name the Countess repeated over and over was ¡®Carje.¡¯ The investigation results have not been released yet, but based on the statements, it is believed that he was the one who ran the church in this inn.¡± The commander continued to speak even though he knew they were cruel. As long as he was involved in this case, his master had to solve it. Above all, the death of the Duchess was involved, so they couldn¡¯t hand over the investigation to anyone else. ¡°Quetray forest is just a forest inhabited by relatively gentle monsters that exist in any country, and the possibility of an hourglass existing is slim.¡± The commander took a deep breath and continued. ¡°Your Grace, the remnants are still being searched, but there is only one girl who can tell you the details of the incident. I think it would be better for you to hear what they say in person than for me to report it to you.¡± No matter how long he waited, he didn¡¯t receive an answer. Finally, the commander sighed and refrained from speaking again. Advertisements A while later, Kyle slowly rose from his spot. When he stood, he looked as expressionless as usual, as if his emotions had slipped away. He turned and walked out of the inn without a fuss. The scorching sun drenched his hair. The perpetrators gathered together and sat on their knees before the knights. ¡°Your Grace, I¡¯ll leave the body to the knights.¡± ¡°Why?¡± Kyle answered without looking back. The decisive response bewildered the commander. He hesitated for a moment, then with a remorseful expression, said, ¡°¡­ It¡¯s Madam¡¯s body, mph¨C!¡± Before he could finish speaking, Kyle covered the commander¡¯s mouth with a large hand. The commander stared at the hand covering his mouth before slowly raising his gaze. His gray eyes gleamed and had a dark red tint. Kyle let out a harsh breath, and the commander shuddered. ¡°Since when have you been the type to be light-mouthed? Have I been wrong about you?¡± ¡°Hngh, Y-Your Grace¡­!¡± The commander grabbed Kyle¡¯s wrist with both hands as he struggled. His tone full of warning, Kyle said, ¡°I¡¯ll ask you again. Am I wrong?¡± The commander shook his head with all his might, but all he could muster was a weak shake. As time passed, he felt immense pain crushing his bones with the grip that continued to tighten. ¡°She¡¯s not dead, so stop talking nonsense. Her body was never found,¡± Kyle, who rarely showed such raging emotion, continued. Advertisements The commander was worried about his own state, but on the other hand, his head cooled down because his master¡¯s hand that had been covering his mouth was trembling. The Duke¡¯s face, broken by the string of reason, also played a part. With a thud, Kyle slapped the commander¡¯s face away, frowned, and turned around. He couldn¡¯t waste any more time. Kyle looked at the report coolly, trying to calm his nerves, but the sound of his fingers tapping the table continuously revealed his feelings. Carje, the descendent of the one who claimed Quetray forest¡¯s existence, was the leader of a group that was created through the sporadically increasing number of people who believe in the forest¡¯s existence over the past years. The group extorted from the believers, sold them on the black market, or got it for cash. Those who disobeyed his will were thrown as prey to the monsters or given illegal psychedelic drugs to cloud their minds. Hallucinogens. Now, the answer to Hari¡¯s delirium became clear¨Cshe was drugged with hallucinogens. Haa, Kyle scowled and gripped the now wrinkled report in his hand. As he threw the crumpled-up paper, it landed on someone¡¯s head. The man, who had his head bowed on the cold marble floor, raised his head and looked up. His whole body shaking, he looked into Kyle¡¯s eyes. There were groups of people who were dragged by their families regardless of their will, but there were others who willingly aided in murder and contributed to the extortion. One of them was kneeling at the Duke¡¯s feet. Kyle had been running after Aelle, looking for remnants and filtering out the herd they had caught according to the girl¡¯s statement, but he still couldn¡¯t find her. The more he chased after her, the farther away he became, and the more time passed, the more impatient he became. He knew his leads were running out. What if he never found her whereabouts? Advertisements When Kyle gritted his teeth, the man shrank. ¡°P-please believe me. Even if you ask me a hundred times, I have no choice but to give the same answer. R-really, that¡¯s all I know! I only saw who came out the window, not where they went¡­¡± Kyle tilted his head and stared nervously at the man with his head back down to the floor. What he said wouldn¡¯t have been a lie, considering that he hid in a cave under a cliff the whole time and trembled in fear as soon as he was pulled out. Kyle¡¯s time to sit still and speak or listen became increasingly useless. He wanted to run out of there immediately and find Aelle. He let out an anxious sigh and rubbed his face. At that moment, the commander opened the door, came in, and whispered in Kyle¡¯s ear, ¡°Sir, I¡¯ve been following the tracks of Takan and the Duchess, and I¡¯ve found a strange person and brought them here.¡± Kyle raised his head, and at his stare, the commander answered, ¡°The blacksmith is Rin. In terms of weapon crafting skills, within the Empire¨C¡± Snap¨C! Then, Kyle heard the sound of metal clanking, and someone held by a knight was dragged in. CH 62 ¡°Hey, take it easy, take it easy!¡± Annoyed, Rin struggled as he was dragged by a knight bigger than him. ¡°Oh, this is¨CUgh.¡± Upon entering the interrogation room, the knight kicked him in the hamstring. The shock caused him to sit down and let out a groan. Then, with both hands tied behind his back by the knight, he twisted his upper body. ¡°Ah, this is pissing me off. I was taking a pleasant nap, but they came in¡­!¡± As he fired nervously, he felt a high-pressure energy and slowly stared straight ahead. His eyes widened, then he turned away, clicking his tongue. Kyle rested his chin on his hand and looked down coolly at Rin. Feeling the unusual energy, the commander stepped back and stood by. The knight who tied Rin¡¯s hands to him posted the report. ¡°This is Rin, the blacksmith. He is believed to have assisted in Madam¡¯s kidnapping. He¡¯s an old acquaintance of Takan and lives close to the forest near Walton Square, where he met Madam¨C¡± ¡°Haha! Kidnap¡­!¡± Advertisements The knight scowled when Rin laughed out loud. He leaned close to Rin¡¯s side and tightened his hold on him. ¡°You¡¯re laughing now? You¡¯re an accomplice! Where¡­!¡± Rin furrowed his eyebrows, holding back a small smile. He tilted his head to the side, a smile still lingering on his lips. ¡°Can you really call it kidnapping?¡± The knight¡¯s scowl deepened after hearing what he thought was a provocation. Rin turned to Kyle as if he was done with the knight. Kyle continued to watch on, his expression blank. ¡°Is it kidnapping, Your Grace?¡± Suddenly, a crack appeared on Kyle¡¯s face, and Rin raised his brows. When the commander tried to step out at his disrespectful gaze, Kyle stopped him with a single gesture. Hmm, Rin hummed. He met Kyle¡¯s gaze and asked, ¡°Didn¡¯t she run away?¡± ¡°This b*stard.¡± The knight gritted his teeth and glared at Rin, but Rin remained calm. Rin had experienced battles like a man drinking water, so even if he couldn¡¯t wield a sword, he was familiar with the knights¡¯ lives and hostility. Kyle got up from his seat, not once breaking eye contact. He slowly closed the distance and looked down at him, blinking slowly. A moment later, he broke the silence. ¡°Have you met her?¡± Rin shrugged. ¡°You could say so. She came to my shop as a customer with Takan. I never thought she was a Duchess.¡± Advertisements But he did think she was running away from love. Rin grinned to himself as he thought so. ¡°A shop, huh.¡± In response to Rin¡¯s answer, Kyle reflexively rubbed the back of his hand on his scarred cheek, suddenly remembering Aelle aiming a bow at him. His scar, which had confused him when he got it, was now the only thing he had left of her. Kyle leisurely bent down to look directly at Rin. Rin slightly faltered when he met the Duke¡¯s bloodshot eyes. His overbearing aura, which seemed to rise like a haze all over his body, wiped off Rin¡¯s smirk. A strange tension appeared on Rin¡¯s face. Kyle looked down for a moment, seemingly lost in thought, before speaking. ¡°She ran away. Why do you think she did?¡± Rin didn¡¯t know. He suddenly looked up at Kyle, his expression serious. ¡°I¡¯ve seen you before,¡± Rin said, staring directly at the Duke¡¯s gray eyes. ¡°Well, it was a long time ago. At that time, I stayed on the battlefield to see the Imperial army who was crazy abut long swords and other weapons. There, I accidentally saw you cutting someone¡¯s throat, blood splattering everywhere.¡± As if reminiscing about that day, Rin, who had a more subdued atmosphere, smiled. ¡°Without realizing it, I wanted to run away.¡± Advertisements Haa, this is embarrassing. Rin, who continued with a smile, shrugged. He looked up into the air and opened his mouth with a deep sigh. ¡°When she came to the store, her eyes were dead.¡± Rin slowly turned back to Kyle. ¡°So that¡¯s what I thought. No matter how much I think about it, it didn¡¯t seem like a kidnapping.¡± The two stared at each other for a while, but Rin averted his gaze first. He twisted his body as if he couldn¡¯t stand it any longer and showed his bound hands. With the chains colliding, it made a loud noise. ¡°So, would you mind releasing this now? That guy suddenly came to visit me and said he¡¯d spend time with me for a day, then suddenly disappeared and never returned. Above all, I am a victim, to be honest, because he took a weapon without paying for it. I want to beat him up if he¡¯s alive.¡± Kyle stared blankly at Rin and stood up without regret. Soon, Rin sighed. When Kyle left the rest of the interrogation to the knight and left the interrogation room, the commander followed. Catching up quickly with Kyle, the commander said, ¡°Your Grace, it seems that they haven¡¯t even interacted with each other for several years, so there¡¯s no evidence that the blacksmith actually helped in the abduction.¡± The commander was displeased and paused, then continued. ¡°What shall we do?¡± At the question, Kyle stopped in his tracks and stared straight ahead, his eyes darkening. As he stood there, a pensive expression on his face, the commander gulped at the silence. He swallowed dryly and waited for an answer. Want to run away¡­ As Kyle whispered to himself, he recalled the last time he saw her¨Can arrow aimed at him, her face in contemplation. As if to cut off his thoughts, he opened his mouth and headed forward. ¡°If there¡¯s no evidence, make one. Get someone to keep an eye on him.¡± The commander bowed his head in awe at the following command. ¡°Yes, Your Grace.¡± Kyle sat inside the cold and quiet office and looked through some papers. When his bloodshot eyes reached the end of the document, he couldn¡¯t hold back his emotions rising like a pillar of fire, and hit the desk. Advertisements The aide, frozen in his spot like a statue, gulped, proof that he was alive. ¡°Is this everything? In the end, a note was posted because you couldn¡¯t find a single strand of her hair.¡± Sensing the disturbing energy, the aide closed his eyes in sorrow and said, ¡°Sorry for posting this report, Your Grace. We searched all over the empire, but¡­ Not even a trace. Most of the reports received through newsletters and leaflets were false.¡± As soon as he finished speaking, Kyle asked without a pause, ¡°What about Rin?¡± ¡°They have been following him constantly, but they didn¡¯t find anything suspicious.¡± Kyle dropped the papers with a scowl. He sighed deeply and rubbed his face with his hand. From the time she searched through her study to the time she left the duchy and met Takan, Aelle left no traces. But the most important was that Aelle was out of reach. Time passed and flowed like water, and Kyle struggled day by day. He was tired of just sitting and listening. When he could not suppress his desire to run out immediately, his aides advised him to protect his face or prestige. Kyle roughly loosened the tie around his neck. ¡°D*mn it.¡± It was the first time in his life that he had been told to keep calm. He was the one who knew better than anyone that what happens usually couldn¡¯t be undone and that there was no real benefit to getting swept up by emotions. But why? Advertisements Occasionally, anxiety swept through his body, and he couldn¡¯t calm down. While living in the unfounded belief that she was alive, he was worried they¡¯d find her body any moment. Kyle closed his eyes, his eyelids twitching, and a heavy breath came out. The aide just stared at him pitifully. He hadn¡¯t slept for days and hadn¡¯t eaten, so his body merely reacted to it. Nothing was strange about his bloodshot eyes, dry lips, and haggard face. They wouldn¡¯t even be surprised if he collapsed. The aide sighed bitterly before speaking. ¡°Your Grace, why don¡¯t you take a day off? I¡¯ll finish the rest of the work, so you should¨C¡± ¡°Get out.¡± Silence. ¡°Did you not hear me telling you to get out?¡± The words came out like venom, and the aide could do nothing but groan and step back. ¡°I¡¯m worried, so please close your eyes for at least one day. Please.¡± After the aide left the office, Kyle was alone in the silence, his eyes closed as if drawing something in his mind. CH 63 The aide stood at a distance and handed Kyle the papers he had prepared. ¡°Your Grace.¡± Kyle did not take his eyes off the documents he was reading and put down the papers he had received from his aide. The aide looked on pensively at Kyle as he checked the papers he had handed. ¡®Since there¡¯s no clear evidence that Madam is dead, I thought he¡¯d focus on finding her.¡¯ The aide stood frozen in front of Kyle and vigorously shook his head. Kyle focused on his work without hesitation from then on. The forest was sealed off, and the group of believers was disbanded and punished, but the investigation didn¡¯t end. His wife¡¯s kidnapping case was also going smoothly. The pressure from his retainers to hurry up and end the investigation continued, but he didn¡¯t care. Leaving the investigation behind, he focused on managing the estate and making the people¡¯s lives prosperous. Advertisements The aide tried to ignore his gut feeling and sighed. Surely, he wasn¡¯t trying to find Madam himself. He refrained from speaking lest the words that almost came out of his mouth become true. Above all, it was difficult to keep up with Kyle¡¯s pace, so he had to stay up all night. All he could do was stay by Kyle¡¯s side. ¡°As you may have heard, Countess Harden is recovering quickly after confirming the type of hallucinogen based on the statements of the people arrested last time. It could be a clue to finding Madam, so would you her like to make a statement?¡± Kyle raised his gaze slightly and stared into space. He looked lost in thought, but he lowered his gaze and rechecked the documents before speaking again. ¡°It won¡¯t be too late even after she fully recovers. Unclear statements will only bring confusion.¡± The aide bowed and left shortly after. A few moments later¡­ Knock, knock. The silence was broken as someone knocked. ¡°Your Grace, it¡¯s Laura.¡± When Kyle heard Laura¡¯s trembling voice, the pen nib hovering over the papers stopped. ¡°May I¡­come in?¡± Kyle started writing again but didn¡¯t answer. Finally, after a long moment of silence, Laura let herself in and knelt in front of him. She was neat and tidy, but her gaunt face clearly revealed her mental struggles. Advertisements She stayed on her knees at his aloofness, placing her fists on her knees and clenching them tightly. ¡°Please kill me, Your Grace. This body is all I have¡­¡± Laura bit her lip and bowed, swallowing the sudden surge of emotions. Her clenched fists trembled. Kyle remained still as he looked through the report, not even reacting to the scene in front of him. Laura sat motionless, tenaciously holding her place until the sun went down and the night came. His expression remained the same. Then, as time passed and there was no sign of backing down, Kyle finally spoke without taking his eyes off the document. ¡°What do I gain by killing you? I will not make any more worthless deaths.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°Get out.¡± Laura bit her lip and lowered her head, her face instantly filled with guilt and remorse. Laura, who had been sitting still for a while, staggered to her feet. Before long, she stood without shaking and brought her hands together. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for taking up your time. I¡¯ll excuse myself then.¡± When Laura staggered open the door after a silent bow, Lil and Mas, who had been waiting outside, supported her. Laura paused as she leaned on them on the way out, perhaps thinking of something. Then, after a moment of hesitation, she tilted her head and looked back at him. ¡°Your Grace, actually, while I was cleaning Madam¡¯s bedroom, I found a diary in the console drawer.¡± Advertisements ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t dare to touch it, so I left it there.¡± Kyle¡¯s brows furrowed at the older woman¡¯s words. He only lifted his head slowly after Laura had completely left the office. Finally, he put down his fountain pen, and rubbed his face with a heavy sigh. Her diary. Oddly enough, he was torn between wanting to read it and wanting nothing to do with it. He was afraid he¡¯d see her innermost feelings. That diary must have vividly depicted the woman who had a clear purpose for approaching him. She wouldn¡¯t have married him in the first place if it hadn¡¯t been for her goal. What¡¯s more, it would all be there¨Cthe emotions she felt while waiting for him or when his words filled her with tears. Whatever her feelings were, he couldn¡¯t handle it. Above all, since she wasn¡¯t dead, he couldn¡¯t touch a keepsake so carelessly. Because if he did, wasn¡¯t that the same as admitting she was gone? Kyle turned in his seat, frowning as if he didn¡¯t want to think about it. Then through the window opposite him, he looked out to see the garden engulfed in darkness. He got up and headed to the window, looking down at the flower bed where Hari had once planted her favorite flowers. What was it again? He couldn¡¯t even remember it anymore. ¡°Next time, let¡¯s choose a flower together. Something the baby would like.¡± [1] Suddenly, the hand holding his collar vividly came to mind. She lowered her head and spoke in a hushed voice. He felt frustrated at how small she was when standing in front of him without even knowing why. Usually, she¡¯d remain expressionless, but sometimes when their eyes met, he could see her emotion, and it confused him even more if it was a mask or not. After becoming pregnant, she became more self-conscious. When he thought of his child, he remembered his parents, so he didn¡¯t bother to show his face, but at least he didn¡¯t look cold.* More than anything, he felt pity for the woman who had her first child. Advertisements But that was different. It was neither sympathy nor hostility that he answered ¡°yes¡± to her suggestion[2]. He just wanted to. Kyle moved closer to the window and rested his palm on it. The baby¡¯s favorite flower. Kyle muttered, unable to take his emotional eyes off the flower bed. ¡°Sunflower.¡± It was a flower that once came out of her lips. The warm sunlight of spring passed, and brown leaves covered the ground. A woman and her attendant came out of the carriage that entered the mansion across the garden. The woman who looked around the mansion noticed a fallen leaf and approached it. As she stepped on the fallen leaves, she heard a thump, and she looked at her feet in confusion. ¡°Welcome. We¡¯ve been waiting for you.¡± When the employees waiting approached and greeted her, she nodded and entered the mansion. The scene of pink hair flying with the wind was dazzling enough to mistake the season for spring. She leisurely entered the mansion as the employee guided her. She checked the person in front of her, and her eyes widened when she realized who it was. It was Kyle¡¯s aide, a familiar face. He greeted her politely with a bright smile on his face. ¡°Hello, Countess.¡± ¡°Sir, how have you been?¡± ¡°Forgive me for calling you to visit the mansion. I heard you recently recovered. I¡¯m glad you look well.¡± They smiled at each other before moving forward. In the aide¡¯s office, he sat across from Hari and served the tea in reluctance. It was because of her eyes on him. ¡°Ahem, thank you for the statement, Madam. Anyway, I¡¯m really glad. Immediately after the incident, we learned clearly about the type of hallucinogenic drugs, and the treatment was faster, so it¡¯s lucky to be able to stay healthy like this¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯s all thanks to Aelle.¡± As the aide flinched and stopped talking, Hari¡¯s eyes narrowed. The aide smiled and acted as if nothing was wrong, but he had already been figured out. Advertisements ¡°So, it¡¯s true. Rumor has it she was at the inn.¡± She dismissed it as a false rumor, but it seemed that it wasn¡¯t a simple abduction. Hari lowered her gaze and sighed. ¡°From what I heard, I called the name ¡®Carze¡¯ over and over again.¡± The aide listened in silence. Hari blamed herself and closed her eyes, fine-like eyelashes quivering. ¡®I never thought she¡¯d go to the forest. They could have stopped that fraud if I hadn¡¯t become a victim. If so, then Aelle¡­¡¯ Hari couldn¡¯t handle the guilt, bit her lips hard, and slowly raised her gaze. More than that, Hari had something she wanted to ask. [1] from chapter 23 [2] He was talking about when he agreed when she said, ¡°Next time, let¡¯s choose a flower together. Something the baby would like.¡± CH 64 ¡°Sir, please answer me.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± The aide avoided her gaze and turned to the ceiling, but her eyes followed him without fail. ¡°Where is His Grace?¡± ¡°No matter how much you ask, I don¡¯t know anything.¡± ¡°Is there really any chance that Aelle is still alive? I want to know if His Grace is healthy. As I said¡­.¡± Hari paused, her eyes watering. ¡°I received help at the inn while she could not be saved. I don¡¯t want to do that anymore. Aelle¡¯s the one who saved me, so I want to help her, too.¡± ¡°It¡¯s enough that you visited the mansion and helped with the investigation.¡± The aide had a smile on his face, but Hari remained resolved. In the end, realizing that he couldn¡¯t escape, the aide released a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know for sure, but he¡¯s probably in the South by now.¡± Advertisements ¡°In the South?¡± ¡°Yes. He headed there as soon as a tip came that someone had seen someone who looked like Madam, but it¡¯s time for him to come back. Unless there¡¯s a report, he¡¯s always looking for the remnants of the followers. Maybe¨C¡± The aid trailed off with a sad sigh. ¡°He needs someone who can prove that Madam is alive with all his might.¡± Hari covered her mouth and sighed. Her eyebrows narrowed sadly. ¡°Actually, I was vaguely aware of it.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°The fact that His Grace is trying to find his wife himself.¡± The aide laughed dejectedly. He could hear the wind blowing through his teeth. ¡°I knew it, but I couldn¡¯t stop him. I couldn¡¯t fulfill my duties.¡± The aide reflected on the past half year and thought of Kyle desperately searching for Aelle. He worked on a schedule that ordinary human bodies couldn¡¯t bear. Whenever he saw someone who resembled Aelle Carena or when a tip came in that could trace her existence, he would set out on a journey, regardless of location. Even if it was a foreign country other than the Empire, even if he had to navigate a stormy sea, he did not hesitate. The commander even mentioned that His Grace was once on the brink of death because of a deadly monster¡¯s venom, so the aide couldn¡¯t help but be astonished. The Duke went into Quetray forest, which had been sealed off, to subdue monsters, and when the aide found him, he was shocked and almost passed out. That day, he had lost his temper and dared to raise his voice at him. Advertisements ¡®Why did you do such a reckless thing? It¡¯s not something a normally prudent Duke would do! Moreover, you knew all along that it was a false report¨C¡¯ ¡®I need it.¡¯ ¡®Your Grace¡­¡¯ ¡®I need that at least.¡¯ The aide had no choice but to shut up at the pathetic voice that seemed to disappear immediately. When Kyle returned from his travels, he always visited the flower bed. Only then did he seem stable as he managed the flowerbed directly despite the servants¡¯ discouragement. Advertisements The aide sighed lightly and closed his eyes. It had been years since he worked under Kyle. The garden, which was only the whim of the previous Duke, was saved by the aide¡¯s family and promised sincerity and honesty in his heart, if not loyalty to the Duke he had never met. Although Kyle was a man who led the war to victory and did meritorious deeds, he had no intention of sincerely serving him if he wasn¡¯t convinced. However, those thoughts completely disappeared the moment the aide met Kyle. For the first time since he was born, he acutely felt the meaning of the word ¡®overwhelming¡¯. The aide opened his eyes slowly and faced Hari. Her sorrowful expression must be the same as his. ¡°Can I ask you one question?¡± Hari gave him a feeble nod, and the aide hesitated and opened his mouth with difficulty. ¡°What is it like to want to throw away your memories? Of course, I have memories I want to forget, but I never considered taking a risk and erasing them.¡± Hari¡¯s expression became more subdued as she reminisced. Then she frowned and smiled lightly. It was painful and precious, and it felt like she didn¡¯t know what to do. ¡°At that time, I couldn¡¯t see my surroundings.¡± Looking pensive, Hari stared out the window. The aide couldn¡¯t tell what she was thinking. ¡°Sometimes, living as a person left behind felt harsh, and I started to hate him. I thought I hadn¡¯t lost him; I had been left behind. I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about what it would be like to forget.¡±* ¡°¡­¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I thought forgetting him would make everything easier.¡± Hari smiled faintly and shook her head. Then, as if she had nothing else to say, she got up from her seat. The aide followed suit and smiled softly at her. ¡°I have to go now.¡± ¡°You¡¯re leaving?¡± ¡°Well, because the succession is coming up. Lou, no, Louis[1].¡± Hari said his name quietly, not the nickname she used to always call him, in regret. Advertisements ¡°Would it be heavy if I expressed it as a mission I received from him?¡±* ¡°It¡¯s not heavy.¡± When the aide shook his head, Hari smiled lightly and turned around. Then, as she headed for the door, she turned around. ¡°Ah, when His Grace returns, will you pass a message to him?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°As a close friend, I¡¯m very worried about you, and I¡¯m ashamed of the last time I saw you, so please meet me.¡± As Hari approached the door and grabbed the doorknob, she heard a noise behind her. ¡°If, by any chance, if I tell you that there really is a forest that will make you lose your memory, will you go, Madam?¡± Hari let go of the doorknob and turned her head. The sunlight through the window poured inside, illuminating her face. Before long, a bright smile appeared on her face. ¡°I¡¯m okay now.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯ve come to realize it¡¯s more painful to forget.¡± ¡°Is this all there is to report?¡± As Kyle threw down the documents and roughly grabbed the glass, the absinthe in the crystal glass spilling. He drank in one go, filled the glass one after another, set it down, and turned around without regret. ¡°Your Grace, where are you going again this time?¡± The aide, talking nonstop, followed Kyle as he armed himself. The aide called out to him with a sad sigh, but he was nothing more than white noise to the Duke. The aide furrowed his eyebrows, bit his lip, and then said, ¡°Your Grace, we cannot delay any longer. We must report the incident to the Imperial family and close it. More and more people are interested in Tigra due to the incident. If the fact that the Duchess is entangled in the inn is revealed, it will affect the family¡¯s prestige.¡± Advertisements ¡°¡­¡± When he didn¡¯t hear a response, the aide groaned and touched his forehead. Of course, he wasn¡¯t expecting an answer anyway. He only said it to urge him. ¡°Right now, it¡¯s just a simple kidnapping case, but if you delay like this, you may get caught up in rumors. What¡¯s more, Madam didn¡¯t show up. There are rumors that Madam might have eyes for an employee or was at the scene of the fire.¡± The aide pursed his lips and made a distressed expression. ¡°The kidnapped Madam was taken to the inn by Takan, and we have no choice but to arrange that the Duchess died there.¡± Despite the aide¡¯s words, Kyle remained silent. He thought there was no way to persuade him anymore, so the aide excused himself. Eventually, as the aide left the office, the Duke headed for the window. Sometimes, he would see her illusion outside the window. Kyle closed his eyes and pictured her. Beneath the parasol, her long, thin brown hair swayed like leaves. Thin neckline and pale skin as she tilted her head. A gaze that occasionally looked up somewhere desperately. Her image was vivid in his head, as if she really was standing by the sunflower bed. From one day on, he had to look at the garden with sunflowers in full bloom to breathe. Three or four armed men were gathered under a tree on a snowy mountain covered in pure white snow. Something caught Kyle¡¯s eye, and he pulled the object between the tree roots, tied clothes dragged out one after another. According to the remaining believers found earlier, they escaped the inn, stole items from people who had lost consciousness, and buried the rest of the worthless here. However, as if to mock him, Kyle found no trace of her [1] Hari called her husband ?? (pronounced as Louis with the silent S lol), and his name is ??? (pronounced as Lewis). I wasn¡¯t sure how to write his nickname in English, so I opted for Lou instead. CH 65 ¡°This time, too.¡± Kyle gritted his teeth and endured the feeling that tried to come out of his throat like a fireball. The harvest was only to find the remnants of Tigra that lived in hiding under the cliff. Ha, Kyle scoffed and dropped his hand. His dry, fallen hand clung tenaciously to the clothes. This should have been her hand. Even when he held the clothes the whole time, nothing came into his hands. The knights behind him bowed in sorrow as they looked at the lonely master¡¯s back. ¡°Your Grace,¡± the commander, who had been watching silently, called out to Kyle. Only then did Kyle throw the item he¡¯d been holding. The commander covered his face with his hands and lowered his head as if to hide his worried expression. ¡®He hasn¡¯t slept at all in the three days since he left the dukedom, so it wouldn¡¯t be strange if he collapsed right away.¡¯ He could only call it great mental strength. It was always like that when they went on a journey. He was always eager, anxious, and desperate as if it were the last. But, then, he couldn¡¯t find any trace of her, so when night came, he was as dangerous as a candle about to extinguish. The man he admired, who seemed as strong as an iron man, looked anxious, as if he would disappear in a single breeze. The commander couldn¡¯t get used to this scene, no matter how much he tried. Kyle arrived at the dukedom after completing his journey as usual and handed over his horse to the knight before turning around mercilessly. He was well-kempt, but when others saw him, he looked startlingly disheveled. However, they seemed to have already gotten used to it because the employees lowered their heads and made their way without reacting. When the Duke returned from his journey, he always headed to the garden as a habit. It was his custom to kneel on knee reverently and stare at the sunflowers for a long time as if it were her. No, it looked like he was reporting and expressing resentment. I couldn¡¯t find you again this time. Where are you hiding that I can¡¯t even find a trace of you? ¡°Your Grace!¡± Then, a knight waiting in the mansion ran out, his face pale. Kyle¡¯s head turned reflexively at the sense of urgency. ¡°Your Grace¡­!¡± Breathing roughly, the knight stopped near Kyle. He stood still, hesitantly staring at Kyle¡¯s back, and a subtle tension prevailed between them. The knight began to speak as if he had made up his mind. ¡°Your Grace, from the mouth of the survivor we found this time¡­¡± Only then did Kyle get up and turn around slowly. A deep feeling of uneasiness crept across his face. Bang¨C! The knights turned when the interrogation room door slammed open. Their eyes widened at the sound, but when they saw the person who appeared, they immediately lowered their gaze, feeling tense. The man lying down, his hands and feet bound, widened his eyes in amazement. Eyes that had been tired and sluggishly closed began to tremble when he realized who was the person entering the interrogation room. Kyle stood there, pale and breathing heavily. The aide and the commander who had followed him looked anxious and reluctant. Kyle walked up to the man without hesitation and grabbed him by the collar. The man couldn¡¯t resist, his upper body was pulled upright, and his whole body trembled in fright. ¡°Ugh¡­¡± ¡°What happened to her?¡± The man hurriedly swallowed his breath. ¡°I-I just ran away after taking the jewelry from the dead lady¡¯s pocket. I swear it was His Grace¡¯s wife¨Curgh!¡± As Kyle tightened his grip on his neck, the man groaned and struggled to breathe. His pale complexion gradually turned red. Kyle urged him on, ¡°Who¡¯s dead?¡± ¡°Urk¨C! D-Duchess, ngh¨C¡± The man couldn¡¯t speak any longer and grabbed Kyle¡¯s wrists with both hands, trying to shake them off. In his struggle, he soon lost consciousness, and the aide immediately ran to him. ¡°Your Grace, you¡¯ll face difficulties if the man dies. At least the body¨C¡± The aide abruptly stopped after meeting the Duke¡¯s fierce, bloodshot eyes. ¡°Stop talking. There¡¯s no body, so she¡¯s not dead.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°She¡¯s not dead until I see her with my own eyes,¡± Kyle said through gritted teeth. The trembling voice silenced everyone in the interrogation room. Then, when the aide closed his mouth and completely withdrew, Kyle tossed the unconscious man aside. Kyle walked past the aide and left the interrogation room. The sound of his footsteps resonating in the hallway sounded particularly disturbing. ¡°Your Grace!¡± When Kyle returned from his journey, an aide followed closely behind him. Kyle headed for the office, his expression blank as if he could neither hear nor see. ¡°A year has passed, milord.¡± Kyle opened the door to his office, consistently remaining silent. He approached the desk as usual, and whenever he returned from his journey, he looked for a tip about Aelle on the shelf. However, despite searching all over the desk, he couldn¡¯t find anything. Kyle gritted his teeth and raised his gaze coldly. ¡°I told you to refrain from talking, but now you¡¯re showing it with actions.¡± The aide hesitated at the Duke¡¯s piercing gaze that caught his breath, but he didn¡¯t back down and said, ¡°Your Excellency, the last person we found in the winter was the last one.¡± Kyle ignored him and walked past him straight to the aide¡¯s office, where the report would have been made. ¡°Eighteen corpses, twenty caught on the spot, and eleven remnants who escaped, all caught,¡± The aide said despite knowing Kyle wasn¡¯t listening. He turned around with his fists clenched as if determined to grab Kyle. ¡°No more, Your Grace!¡± Kyle stopped in his tracks, knowing who the aide was referring to. ¡°No more.¡± The aide repeated the same words like a nail in the coffin. ¡°Countess Harden¡¯s recovery progress has made it all the more certain.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Even if Madam was drugged, the effects are short-lived. After half a year, her body would have been detoxified and her memory would have returned, just like Countess Harden. If she hasn¡¯t returned to the duchy even though the effects have worn off and she¡¯s no longer hallucinating, that¡¯s¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s Madam¡¯s will.¡± Kyle¡¯s gaze fell slowly to his feet, and his pupils started to tremble. Looking at Kyle¡¯s back, the aide felt a surge of emotion. Knowing Kyle¡¯s desperation, it wasn¡¯t just because of his job that he told him to give up. ¡®If we continue like this, His Grace will collapse.¡¯ He was certain he had correctly judged the situation. After a while, Kyle¡¯s gaze slowly moved forward and he left the office. The aide sensed that the Duke¡¯s movements had become a little dull. The wind carried the fresh spring scent. Feeling tense, Hari took a deep breath, exhaled, and followed the servant to the office. As she reached the door, her pale hands began to tremble slightly. ¡®I made a promise before I came, and now I¡¯m here.¡¯ She wanted to apologize for holding him responsible for Louis¡¯ death and troubling him with her journey to the forest, and console him for Aelle¡¯s loss. And so she visited the duchy with determination. Hari frowned for a moment, then smiled softly, raising her head. She nodded to the servant, and soon the door opened. Beyond the family office, Kyle stood idly by the window. The sunlight pouring through the window followed his outline. As Hari entered the office, the servant immediately closed the door. A chill ran down her spine at the sudden silence. ¡°Kyle, long time no see.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Kyle.¡± Kyle continued to look out the window and didn¡¯t respond. When he didn¡¯t react after she called his name repeatedly, Hari sighed and approached him. She walked over to the window and followed his gaze, not knowing what those empty gray eyes contained. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯ve recovered.¡± Hari turned to the hollow sound of his voice. He was like a wooden doll without emotion. Hari stared at him for a while, only sensing he was alive when he blinked. CH 66 ¡°Kyle¡­¡± Hari swallowed hard and said what she had practiced. ¡°It¡¯s not your fault what happened with Louis or that I went to the forest, Kyle.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Louis died, but you shouldn¡¯t let that hold you back.¡± Hari shook her head as if holding back her tears and closed her eyes. Her voice sounded stronger. ¡°But I never thought it was your fault or wished you were in his place, really. Louis and I, I¡¯m glad you¡¯re alive.¡± Only then did Kyle turn and stare at her. ¡°Kyle¡­¡± Hari felt choked up to see the dullness in his eyes that had lost its life. Hari knew those eyes. The sight of young Kyle flooded her mind¨Calone in the world after the former duke and his wife passed away, crouched in the corner. She had forgotten that those who collapsed once could easily do so again, and that it wasn¡¯t simply because of the guilt towards Louis. Advertisements Hari intuitively recognized. A marriage without a heart for itself*. It was impossible to establish in the first place. ¡°Kyle.¡± Hari buried her face in her hands and cried. It was dangerous to see him crumbling after losing Aelle, but she couldn¡¯t even hug or comfort him like she did when he was young. She knew more than anyone else what it felt like to be left behind, but she couldn¡¯t say anything. Kyle¡¯s shoulder trembled, and he reflexively reached out his hand at the sight of Hari weeping. But before long, he dropped his outstretched hand as crudely as a dry branch. If he were his usual self, his first thought would be that he couldn¡¯t stand her tears and wanted to wipe them away. But for some reason, that thought didn¡¯t cross his mind. No, on the contrary, the sight of her crying made him breathe a little easier. It¡¯s as if she¡¯s crying for Kyle, who couldn¡¯t. Kyle furrowed his brows. Why would he cry? His fears were over when he subconsciously acknowledged that Aelle was not coming back. The sense of loss that seemed to overwhelm him was more familiar than he thought, so he calmly accepted it. After all, the people by his side always left. Instead, could Aelle¡¯s arrow have struck his heart instead of the tree? He sometimes felt his chest ache, and it was difficult for him to breathe. Kyle felt the wind passing through his empty hand and slightly opened his fist. Advertisements ¡°Kyle.¡± When Hari stopped crying and raised her face glistening with tears, Kyle cut off his thoughts. She took her handkerchief from her bosom and wiped away her tears. Kyle¡¯s eyes followed her handkerchief, Hari¡¯s name engraved on the edge of the cloth evoking a sense of deja vu. Hari smiled faintly and lowered her handkerchief, revealing her face swollen with emotion. She took a deep breath and said, ¡°You know what? Actually, I liked you when I was young, and there were engagement talks.¡± Hari lowered her gaze and chuckled in embarrassment. Kyle¡¯s eyes widened for a moment. ¡°But you didn¡¯t have any interest in my, didn¡¯t play with me every day because you were busy with succession classes, and I was so upset that I complained to Louis everyday, and then we fell for each other. Around that time, the former Duke and Duchess passed away.¡± As she approached the end, her voice grew heavier. Then Hari laughed again, replacing the sullen expression on her face. ¡°When Louis and I had accidents, you would always take care of it, remember? You suffered a lot because of us. While arguing over such foolish things as saying that we would put friendship in a glass bottle, we broke a vase that my parents treasured and secretly brought back a counterfeit. It was so stupid.¡± ¡°Did I?¡± Advertisements ¡°Look, again, don¡¯t say you don¡¯t remember.¡± Reflecting on her memories, she shook her head with her faint smile. ¡°Yeah, you did. But I¡¯m always a step late. It¡¯s not that Louis and I don¡¯t show up*, we¡¯re just one step late, like this.¡± Tears welled up in Hari¡¯s eyes. She looked up at Kyle, and her tears fell. Dark gray eyes and an emaciated face glimmered in her eyes. ¡°Kyle, I¡¯m fine. Louis is, too. So don¡¯t be tied down by us any longer¡­¡± Hari swallowed and exhaled as if trying to control her drumming emotions again. ¡°Look back at you*.¡± Harry hesitated, then backed away. Then she looked down at the handkerchief she held in her hand and twisted her eyes in agony. For a moment, she had felt betrayed that Aelle, whom she thought of as a close friend, had deceived her. The fact that she couldn¡¯t see her anymore made her heart feel like it¡¯s being torn apart. Kyle wasn¡¯t calm but it didn¡¯t show. It wasn¡¯t that he was used to it. Just like in his childhood, he would keep it to himself when he didn¡¯t know how to express his sadness. Hari stared at the tears falling at her feet, turned right away, and left the office. Kyle stared blankly at her tears. He couldn¡¯t remember his conversation with Hari. The day just ended as usual. It was dark outside the window, and the flower beds were no longer visible. Even so, as he stood there staring out the window, he suddenly became curious about Aelle¡¯s gaze. What did she see as she waited for him on her bedroom balcony? What was the view like? Advertisements Turning around, Kyle left the office so agitated that anyone would get anxious if they saw him. His steps towards her bedroom accelerated as he left the office. Finally, after passing a long row of corridors toward the second floor, her bedroom appeared. Unlike just a while ago, Kyle arrived in front of her bedroom with leisurely steps. He hesitated for a moment, then grabbed the doorknob and turned it, opening smoothly without force. Cold air hit him when the door was fully open. The dark, desolate, chilly bedroom vividly revealed that no one had been there for a long time. Of course, the room was clean, so it wasn¡¯t as if humans hadn¡¯t touched it, but the mere fact that the owner wasn¡¯t there gave the bedroom a distinct chill. Kyle looked around the bedroom before closing the door and heading for the balcony. When he opened the window that blocked the passage, a cool spring breeze came in, and his hair fluttered. Kyle¡¯s gaze slid slowly from the front door to the garden, then the open path and round fountain. His gaze finally landed in front of the mansion. There was a day, one he couldn¡¯t even remember, when their eyes had met. As he stood by the railing and stared at the view, it felt as if she were still alive and he¡¯s waiting for her to return. ¡°Is this how you felt?¡± He felt lonely, forlorn, and a little miserable. Finally, after staring outside for a while, he turned around. After entering the bedroom again, he looked around and headed for the console. ¡®Your Grace, actually, while I was cleaning Madam¡¯s bedroom, I found a diary in the console drawer.¡¯ Advertisements Following the voice echoing in his mind, Kyle opened the top drawer of the console, and his eyes widened as he found a neatly placed diary. He hesitated for a moment before he reached for the diary. It was rough with geometric patterns embroidered with gold thread, but it didn¡¯t slip that much, and he could easily hold it in his hand. When Kyle opened the diary, the first sheet was revealed. His fingers dug through the paper and turned it over, showing the neat handwriting that reflected her personality. Gray eyes moved slowly. ¡¸I¡¯m sorry. If losing her one day is a sadness to you, it¡¯s an opportunity for me. I know it¡¯s wicked to want your path to be thorny. There¡¯s nothing wrong with despising me for being insidious. My wish will be immortal.*¡¹ After reading the first chapter, he stopped breathing as if he were dead. He wanted to figure out the meaning of her writing, and his eyes wandered over her handwriting, not knowing where to start. A while later, he finally turned to the next page. ¡¸The days I can¡¯t see your face are increasing. Whenever I experience things that I haven¡¯t experienced, I feel distant from you. From gorgeous dresses and jewelry to mouth-watering food. I¡¯m solving a desire I didn¡¯t know before, but I¡¯m missing what I want most.¡¹ Before he even realized it, he flipped through the next page. Then the next page, and the next. His hand trembled and gradually accelerated, gritting his teeth as if holding back a groan. Then he spat out his breath as if letting go of her tear-stained diary. ¡¸The truth is, I didn¡¯t want to replace her.¡¹ Kyle stared at the ink-smudged letters from her tears. Then, suddenly, tears fell over the traces of her old tears. He flipped the paper over with a trembling hand. CH 67 ¡¸Kyle, today it¡¯s not as chilly as yesterday, so I walked around the garden by myself. I really want to go for a walk on a day like this. But I know. I wouldn¡¯t be greedy anymore and hope to walk with you.¡¹ ¡®I thought I was good at figuring out things.¡¯ One day, his voice, which was driving her, dominated her mind. His hand moved to the next page. She must have stopped updating her diary for a while, so seasons passed. ¡¸Kyle, how are you? I¡¯m doing well. Of course, the baby, too. I¡¯ve written in the diary again after you left. I¡¯m getting nervous because you¡¯re away, so I¡¯m holding onto it as if it¡¯s you. Oh, and Laura says the temperature there changes drastically? I hope you are always warm where you are. Be well, Kyle.¡¹ ¡¸Kyle, I think my belly is starting to show! Laura says it isn¡¯t, but I know. Well, this is just my gut feeling, but the child is a boy. I have no proof, but I have a good feeling. I want to see you soon, both the child and you.¡¹ Kyle stopped reading her diary and took a deep breath. It wasn¡¯t until his stomach ached so much from breathing too deeply that he realized he was alive. He recalled the days when Aelle, saddened by the death of their child, was unstable, as if she were about to disappear. Kyle thought she was like him, that she wouldn¡¯t want children. She inherited her parents¡¯ blood, so he thought she might resemble them. He thought she certainly wouldn¡¯t want children. Don¡¯t get emotional. Don¡¯t be obsessed with your desires. Don¡¯t fall apart. Always be rational and cool. He must have thought it would be the same for her. Because that¡¯s what he was. But she wasn¡¯t like that after losing her child. He rubbed her handwriting with his fingertips. Her pitiful cry, desperate moaning, and sorrowful expression returned like daggers. When he frowned, tears fell down at his feet. ¡®How is Aelle¡¯s health? Is the child alright?¡¯ The questions he had asked Laura once in a while, and the door to her bedroom he had visited and stared at at night. He realized through her notes that it was not just loss and guilt but also affection, that he couldn¡¯t approach his child because he was afraid of becoming the same as his parents, and that he was afraid of resembling the father he had forgotten.* Like when he realized that he loved their baby only after touching its clothes. Kyle gritted his teeth and turned to the next page, letting out a deep groan. ¡¸Kyle, today I was looking blankly at the sunflowers in the vase, and I suddenly thought of this. What would we be like if I hadn¡¯t lied to you? I shouldn¡¯t have lied to you. I¡¯m sorry. But I don¡¯t regret it. I probably won¡¯t for the rest of my life. If I hadn¡¯t done this, I wouldn¡¯t have been your wife.¡¹ A lie. What did she mean, a lie? He turned to the next page, but there was nothing there. It was only when he reached the last page that he stopped moving. He just stared at the last page in surprise. ¡¸I love you, Kyle.¡¹ Stunned, he stared at the paper until hot tears ran down his cheeks and fell on his name. For a long time, he stood stunned and looked down at her handwriting, then sat down. He looked blankly at her diary, and with his trembling hands, he carefully held it in his arms. Despite the tears on his chin dripping over her diary, he cried helplessly, his empty eyes looking up into the air. Since they got married for each other¡¯s agenda, it was natural for her to be neglected, ignored, and looked down upon. His thoughts did not change even when he questioned her fading purpose in their marriage. It was a natural outcome. Even though he could have ignored it, he still asked her. It was clear that she longed for something of her own, but it was neither money nor power. What was it? Kyle gritted his teeth and swallowed a groan. Stupidly, the answer to his question only appeared after her loss. She had loved him from the start. Every time she waited for him in the dark bedroom, every time she struggled to hide her emotions, every time she was turned away and struggled with her wounds, he turned away from that noble love. Nevertheless, he had realized at some point that his eyes were always following Aelle, so he resisted. It was only natural that he couldn¡¯t quench my thirst because he couldn¡¯t even understand the heart he had locked and buried deeply. ¡®There is no sanctuary for me anywhere.¡¯[1] ¡®Please give me a place to run.¡¯[1] Haa, Kyle sighed then let out a self-deprecating laugh. It was a cliff, not a sanctuary, that he had given her. It was he who pushed her heart, barely holding onto him, down the cliff. He took a breath and groaned. He wanted to say her name but he couldn¡¯t even do it because she didn¡¯t exist anymore. The chill returned, and his whole body trembled helplessly. Then, as the cold air hit his tear-stained cheeks and the chill circulated through him, he hugged her diary tightly as if hugging her. Repeating the name he could no longer call. Kyle has been living in her bedroom since that day. He would sit on the bed, and read her diary in pursuit of her warmth and walk the bridle of memory. Instead, her memories urged his desire for death and self-torture. Even so, there was nothing left to ruminate on her, and it was heartbreaking. The memory of her slipping away like sand from his grasp made him neither remember her nor miss her. At such times, he¡¯d caress the scars left on his cheeks. It was regrettable that the only thing she left on his body was a single scar; he¡¯d rather have his whole body filled with marks she left behind. When he looked for her in his sleep, he¡¯d search for memories because he had nothing to remember. He reached out in the shadows. He grasped for anything, but nothing came to the surface. What she loved, what she hated, what made her laugh and cry¡­ He couldn¡¯t remember. Then, when he couldn¡¯t fall asleep, he consumed sleeping pills, and finally, holding the pile of children¡¯s clothes she had left behind in his hand, he buried his face in it. When he buried his face in the clothes that still had the scent of her body and inhaled it deeply into his lungs, he would see an illusion that she was alive, smiling at him. Only then did he understand people¡¯s desire to lose their memories in pain. Every day, regret came flooding in and swept over him, and longing flew like an arrow and pierced his heart. It would have been better if her arrow hadn¡¯t missed him. He wished she would have killed him. He, who was greedy from birth, remained greedy until the end. He would rather die than live without her, but it was even more painful not to think of her, so he decided to live. In the end, he promised that. His vision was engulfed in darkness, and his mind dug deep into the abyss. Then he fell for her. He felt like suffocating. The whole time he thought of her, he seemed to be suffocating. But even though he wanted to die, he couldn¡¯t. He had to live. If he died, he feared that the woman inside him would fade away and cease to exist. So, Kyle tried his best to live. Remembering her suffocated him. It was exceptionally windy all winter long, yet Kyle took care of the flower beds with his own hands. Even when the people around him dissuaded him, even when his hands stung from the cold, he didn¡¯t care and sat on his knees as he tended to the sunflowers. When the sunflower petals wilted and fell as the wind swayed them, it felt as if his heart, thinking of her, had been torn into pieces. That person would never come back, but the flowers withered, bloomed, then withered again. Those flowers were just like his heart. One day, he struggled with remorse as he continued to look for her to the point of losing his mind. When he received the report about her, the ground collapsed on him, and his vision was blinded by the unknown abyss. He felt that he didn¡¯t deserve to stand before the flower bed, and so he finally cried, the feelings he had endured throughout exploding. Aelle, Aelle, Aelle. He gritted his teeth and repeated her name in his head. ¡°Aelle.¡± When the flowers withered throughout the winter, like today, he especially wanted to die. [1] From chapter 2 *Not 100% sure about the translation CH 68 ¡°It¡¯s done.¡± When I lifted the dress I had just repaired, looked at it from front to back, and smiled, Grandma Hoenn stopped sewing and looked at it. Sitting in her rocking chair with her blanket wrapped around her, she leaned forward and inspected it. My heart raced when I saw her adjust her spectacles and her eyes widen slightly. Then, after a while, she nodded her head in approval. ¡°As expected, you¡¯re good.¡± ¡°My skills can¡¯t compare to yours, Grandma Hoenn,¡± I grinned in response to Grandma¡¯s benevolent smile. Grandma Hoenn was a well-known seamstress in the border town of Cedria. It wasn¡¯t until half a year after I had settled in Cedria that I found work at Grandma Hoenn¡¯s mending shop. Word of her skills reached the ears of the Lord¡¯s wife, and she even took full responsibility for her dress repairs. I would watch her sew as if possessed that she didn¡¯t notice how much time had passed. Advertisements Grandma Hoenn stood from her rocking chair and examined the mended part of the dress. She said, ¡°No matter how much I look at it, this doesn¡¯t look like the skill of someone who¡¯s only sewn once or twice. It¡¯s elaborate and clean.¡± ¡°Well, in the past, I sewed for a business.¡± ¡°Looking at your skills, it¡¯s worth making a career out of.¡± Grandma Hoenn smiled softly and stroked my hair. Maybe it was because I wasn¡¯t used to receiving anyone¡¯s praise, but I couldn¡¯t help but feel awkward whenever Grandma stroked my hair or cared for me the way she would her own granddaughter. It was because the afterimage of my father remained in the fragments of my memory. The only adults I knew were loud, irresponsible, or violent, so Grandma¡¯s friendly nature was foreign to me. When Grandma Hoenn saw my reaction, she withdrew her hand in surprise. ¡°What an unpleasant reaction. I should stop treating you like my granddaughter.¡±* I felt as if I had embarrassed the innocent Grandma Hoenn due to my personal feelings, so I hurriedly grabbed her hand and put it back on my head. ¡°It¡¯s not like that, it¡¯s simply because I¡¯m not used to compliments.¡± Grandma Hoenn tilted her head in surprise. She adjusted her slightly drooping glasses with her knuckles and asked, ¡°Oh, doesn¡¯t your brother compliment you?¡± I shook my head. ¡°Oppa is stingy with praise. Besides, when work comes in, he never comes home, so I have no idea where he is or what he¡¯s doing. He always worried about me but doesn¡¯t like it when I worry about him.¡± Grandma stroked my hair again as she looked pitifully at me. I tilted my head slightly as I followed her hand. The fabric that hung over my ears and covered my lips swayed. Grandma Hoen looked at the cloth and muttered to herself, ¡°I want you to be comfortable when you¡¯re here.¡± Advertisements ¡°It¡¯s an ugly scar I don¡¯t want you to see.¡± ¡°Did you say you were burned? How did that happen?¡± Her voice sounded friendly, and a smile spread across my lips. I pretended not to hear her, savoring the warm touch. I felt like I was being childish for the first time. ¡°Come to think of it, you moved around quite a bit before settling down in this village, right? Oh my, you must have been very lonely.¡± As I straightened my head, her hand naturally fell away. I shook my head and gave a faint smile. ¡°It¡¯s okay, because I have Oppa. Not too long ago, he suddenly returned with a proud expression on his face while showing the famous garden in Cedria, right? He said he¡¯ll show the green flower garden in spring and autumn and the horizon in summer.¡± I ruminated on the memories and laughed. ¡°I heard that I was talking to myself once. I don¡¯t even remember.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± Grandmother Hoenn asked incredulously, her eyes widening. ¡°Ah¡­¡± When I avoided her gaze, I noticed that Grandma got flustered then changed the subject. ¡°I¡¯m glad you like Cedria. Are you going to stay longer this time? With you, I¡¯m not alone.¡± ¡°Your son and grandchildren will be disappointed if they heard you.¡± ¡°They¡¯re useless. Don¡¯t you know that? I only have one son, but he¡¯s a carpenter who works in the Lord¡¯s mansion and never visits me, and Yulina and Julian¡­¡± Advertisements Grandma Hoenn waved her hand as if she didn¡¯t need to continue. Her crumpled expression vividly revealed her affection. Jingle¨C. ¡°Grandma, Grandma!¡± At that moment, someone burst into the shop. Unlike usual, Yulina approached, stamping her feet like a needy child. Yulina was one of Grandma Hoenn¡¯s twin grandchildren, a freckled little girl with sunset-red curls down to her shoulders. ¡°Grandma, Grandma! Have you finished mending Madam¡¯s dress?¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t even say hello first!¡± ¡°But I¡¯m in a rush! Madam told me to hurry up, but I was late after wandering around the market¡­!¡± ¡°Anyway, when will you grow up? Wait for it. I¡¯ve just finished it.¡± Grandma Hoenn picked up the dress I had finished earlier and started to get up with a groan. I took the dress from her hand and let her return to her seat. ¡°Stay. I¡¯ll bring it.¡± I stood and put the dress in my hand on the hanger. Yulina, who lowered her gaze as if she was going to cry any moment, found me and called out loud, ¡°Izenne! You¡¯re here, too!¡± Advertisements She jumped up to me and hugged me by the waist. I flinched in surprise for a moment, then looked back at her and finished her work with a smile. ¡°Haa, I told you to call her Unnie.¡° Despite Grandma Hoenn¡¯s scolding, Yulina didn¡¯t care and tightened her hold on my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder. ¡°Hmm.¡± Her smile turned sneaky and deliberate as if something had occurred to her. I ignored her and checked the pre-packaged dress. She followed closely behind. ¡°That¡¯s fine, Izenne. Come with me.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Actually, Julian was supposed to be my porter, but we fought earlier. How dare he call his sister ¡®you[1]¡®? ¡®You.''¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you doing that to Izenne, too, tsk, tsk.¡± When Grandma Hoenn clicked her tongue, Yulina narrowed her eyes and turned to her. ¡°Grandma, that¡¯s that and this is this. Izenne is older, but she¡¯s my friend.¡± After responding lightly to her grandmother, Yulina looked up at me with shining eyes. ¡°Please, Izenne. Hmm? Madam needs it right away, but it¡¯s too heavy for me to lift alone¡­ Hmm? Come with me.¡± I put the dress I was examining on a hanger and stepped back, pulling away from her. ¡°No. I¡¯m not even an employee, so how could I go to the mansion¨C¡± ¡°Hey, what¡¯s the matter? You¡¯re a full-time employee in the shop that mends Madam¡¯s dresses. I didn¡¯t ask you to come into the house. Just get in the carriage and arrive in front of Julian, who likes you, and make him go crazy for a bit¨C¡± Advertisements ¡°What?¡± Yulina waved her hand, embarrassed by my question. The corners of her mouth lifted awkwardly. ¡°Ah, no, it¡¯s nothing. Anyway, will you go with me?¡± She bent her knees and looked earnestly up from below. I finally nodded because I couldn¡¯t refuse her puppy dog eyes. ¡°Oh yeah!¡± Yulina lifted her hands over her head and jumped in place. She pointed her finger at the dresses hanging on the hangers. ¡°Should I bring this?¡± After I nodded, Yulina grabbed the hanger with both hands and lifted it at once. I stared blankly at her as she walked leisurely to the door, the clothes on her shoulder. When I did not follow, Yulina looked back. ¡°What are you doing? Let¡¯s go, Izenne!¡± She grinned, opened the door, and walked out. Grandma Hoenn, also staring blankly at the scene, came to her senses first. ¡°Strength is a trade, a trade. She¡¯ll even carry the mountain.¡± ¡°Haha.¡± When I laughed, Grandma Hoenn shook her head as if she couldn¡¯t stop her even though she was her granddaughter. Shortly after the carriage started, the dresses on the chair slipped as if they were falling to the floor. I had no choice but to crouch down and organize the items, but Julina followed and sat down next to me. ¡°Izenne, aren¡¯t you uncomfortable? Can you take off the cloth that¡¯s covering your face? I can¡¯t see your face well,¡± Yulina said, touching the cloth wrapped around the lower half of my face. When I shook my head with a smile, Yulina pounded her chest with her fist in frustration. ¡°Haa, what a waste of your face. If I looked like you, I¡¯d go around exposing my face and telling people, ¡®Please look at me!''¡± [1] Yulina¡¯s twin addressed her as ¡®you¡¯ or ¡®?¡¯, and it¡¯s not really polite to do that. CH 69 Concentrating my senses on my fingertips, I tried to feel my scar over the fabric. I felt the uneven texture and smiled awkwardly. ¡°Oppa told me to wear it because others will see my scar.¡± Yulina glanced up, raising her eyebrows, and said, ¡°¡­Is that so?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± Yulina quickly changed her attitude and cleared her throat. Oppa¡¯s words must have convinced her. ¡°¡­Well, if he says so, you should listen.¡± Her attitude was docile, uncharacteristic of Yulina, who was usually outspoken, assertive, and had a firm tone. Gradually, she felt like her story was coming to an end, so she focused on putting the clothes inside more than before. Yulina hesitantly crossed her arms and said, ¡°So, when will your brother come back¡­?¡± ¡°Oppa?¡± I put the rest of the clothes neatly on the table and sat down. Yulina, whose cheeks had turned red, shook her head. I adored the way she looked¨C full of anticipation, like a girl in love, and she smiled helplessly. ¡°Do you like him that much?¡± Yulina frowned as if I had asked something obvious. She whispered in a lower-than-usual voice, ¡°¡­Every young woman in this town must have their eyes on your brother, right?¡± My eyes widened at her frank words. She shrugged when she saw how surprised I was. Advertisements Was Oppa that popular? I blinked and scratched my cheek. Well, every time we moved and settled down, the village women were busy spying on him. ¡°Maybe you¡¯re right.¡± As a relative, the compliments about him didn¡¯t affect me, so I didn¡¯t bother denying it. Yulina pushed me on the shoulder and wrinkled her nose. ¡°In order, am I first?*¡± ¡°Oppa¡¯s feelings matter more than mine.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why Izenne, I¡¯m asking you to help me. It seems like your feelings come first for your brother.¡± Puzzled, I chuckled and looked out the window to avoid the conversation. ¡°All right, all right. I won¡¯t ask you,¡± Yulina sighed. She quickly noticed and grumbled but didn¡¯t continue the conversation. A while later, Yulina, observing the scenery with me, clapped and looked back at me as if she had remembered something. Then, she flippantly slapped my shoulder and said, ¡°Ah, Izenne! You know what?¡± I was already used to how she often didn¡¯t get straight to the point, and when I weakly shook my head, Yulina grinned. I looked curiously at her as she immediately brightened at the new topic. I waited for her to speak, but she didn¡¯t. Instead, her intense gaze looked like she wanted a response like a storyteller. I chuckled and asked, ¡°What is it, Yulina?¡± ¡°Well, I heard Madam talking to the Lord, and she said that a great noble from the capital was coming down to recuperate in Cedria.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± I looked out the window, sighing in uneasiness at her words. Advertisements ¡°But that nobleman,¡± Yulina paused and tilted her head. She then glanced around and whispered, ¡°There¡¯s a rumor that said they¡¯re completely insane.¡± Insane? At her words, I turned and stared at Yulina. She continued her story, her expression satisfied when she realized she had caught my attention now. ¡°It¡¯s been several years since his wife was kidnapped and died, but they said he¡¯s still looking for her. There are a lot of rumors and speculations about him, like that he¡¯s an alcoholic or drug addict. Funnily enough, I also heard that ladies and young children were sick for three days because the object of their admiration, who they once called a hero, was ruined.¡± Yulina shrugged and lightly continued, ¡°Hearing this story makes me want to meet him. Is he as handsome as your brother?¡± ¡°A hero?¡± As I recalled Yulina¡¯s words with a frown, she spotted someone outside the window and smiled. ¡°Ah, right on time.¡± Yulina waved her hand out the window. ¡°Julian!¡± Shortly after the carriage stopped, she hurriedly packed the dress and opened the carriage door. When she hopped off and handed the dress to someone standing there, the other person had no choice but to grumble and accept it. I stepped out of the carriage and thanked the coachman for turning a blind eye to my companion with a light bow. As I looked through the door, I saw a familiar face. ¡°Izenne!¡± Yurina¡¯s brother, who looked just like her, jumped out like a puppy welcoming its owner. While he didn¡¯t have a tail, his eyes drooped like a puppy¡¯s. Advertisements Yulina frowned and crossed her arms. ¡°Eh, Julian, can¡¯t you see your sister? If you look at Izenne now, you¡¯ll start grinning.¡± Julian glared at her, his cheeks stained red in embarrassment. ¡°Who said I would?¡± Yulina came over and pressed her index finger against his cheek. ¡°Look in the mirror, Julian. Your face is like a perfectly ripe apple.¡± ¡°Yulina!¡± Julian frowned and covered his face with one hand. Yulina giggled and continued to poke his cheek while Julian avoided her touch. Watching them live without fault, I thought of Oppa and smiled faintly. I tapped Yulina on the shoulder to draw her attention. ¡°I¡¯ll be going, Yulina.¡± ¡°Why are you leaving already? When you were loading the carriage, Grandma said it¡¯s okay to let you go.¡± ¡°All the more reason for me to go. I have to go out into town and buy groceries.¡± ¡°Alright. There¡¯s nothing I can do, then.¡± Yulina pouted, but Julian approached her, pushing her aside. He grinned at me and said, ¡°You¡¯ll need a porter! Shall I go with you? Who knows if it¡¯s coincidence or fate! I¡¯m free because I¡¯m done with my work! How do you like it, I¨Caah!¡± At that moment, a hand came out from behind Julian and mercilessly pulled his ear. Surprised, he tried to let go of the clothes, but Yulina quickly ran to take them. ¡°No, the dress!¡± Julian identified the person pulling at his ear and frowned. ¡°It hurts, Father!¡± Hal, the father of the twins and the manor¡¯s carpenter, appeared, skinny with a shaggy beard. He reprimanded Julian and shot at him, ¡°Hey, where are you going after you say you¡¯re digging trees?¡± Advertisements ¡°Go out into the city and look at the flowers! Eat something delicious! Go to the flower garden too! Well, and then hold hands with Izene¨Cack! Stop!¡± Hal pulled Julian¡¯s ear up even more. Julian, scowling, stood on his toes and followed his father¡¯s hand. ¡°You¡¯re a carpenter, but you have no discipline!¡± Julian opened one of his eyes and glared at him, his eyes flashing with displeasure. ¡°Better than Father, who drinks alcohol in broad daylight- Aah!¡± Hal twisted his ear this time, and Julian yelped in pain and struggled to escape. ¡°Are you incapable of learning? Think about it, will Takan leave you alone when he comes back? Do you still have the heart to act like that after being hurt last time?¡± His face red from pain, Julian fought back. ¡°I¡¯ll just have to win this time!¡± ¡°You have no talent, but you keep running your mouth. I don¡¯t know what to do with you. When I was young, women in this village followed me one after another¨C¡± ¡°Again, again with your younger days. The only heart you didn¡¯t catch was Mother¡¯s heart¨CAck!¡± Hal frowned, kicked Julian in the butt, and forced him into the mansion. ¡°This guy! Hurry up and pick up some firewood!¡± Advertisements Julian bounced off, rubbed his butt, and then glared at Hal. He pouted and grumbled, but he froze when his gaze landed on me. ¡°D*mn it¡­¡± Julian hurriedly avoided his gaze, the tips of his ears turning red. Yulina grabbed Julian by the back and waved at me as she dragged him away. ¡°See you next time, Izenne!¡± ¡°Ah, let go! Let go!¡± Julian struggled but was helplessly dragged by his sister¡¯s strong grip. I smiled faintly and waved. Hal put his hands behind his back and looked disapprovingly at the twins as they walked away. ¡°When will they grow up, tsk.¡° ¡°Why? It looks good.¡± ¡°It looks good, you say. Take out your eyeballs and wash them clean.¡± When I chuckled, Hal frowned and said, ¡°It¡¯s not a joke.¡± But after a while, his expression softened. ¡°Is Rin doing well?¡± He glanced at me. Advertisements ¡°Yes, I received a letter a while ago. This time, he said he¡¯s visiting a foreign country famous for archery.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s fine.¡± He looked like he wanted to ask why Rin didn¡¯t contact him. Hal grunted, but his expression seemed relieved by Rin¡¯s current situation. Hal yawned and waved his hands before heading toward the back entrance. ¡°Go ahead before the other employees find out.¡± I smiled at Hal, then lightly bowed. ¡°Then see you, Hal.¡± CH 70 I panted as I climbed the steep road, a paper bag full of ingredients in my arms. But when I climbed the hill, and the green meadow came to view, I smiled faintly. I spotted a hut on the meadow far from the village. The colorfully painted fence and small vegetable garden were the spaces where my brother and I touched. I hurried over the fence. Then, after checking the cucumbers and cherry tomatoes planted in the garden, I arrived at the door and turned to look at the view. I slightly lowered the paper bag and unlocked the door with the key. The door opened with a creak, and the warm sunlight blew in the hot air. I went straight to the kitchen, holding the paper bag containing the ingredients, put the paper bag on the table with a thud, and wiped the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. Haa, I let out a deep sigh and smiled, then inadvertently stared at the vase at the center of the table. My eyes widened when I spotted a single flower on the vase. ¡°A tulip?¡± Advertisements Inside the always-empty vase was a fresh tulip. I stared at the flower in awe, then came to my senses and rushed out of the kitchen. I went through the open gate and climbed over the fence. I looked around the empty field with lush vegetation, but no familiar figure was in sight. Whenever Oppa, a mercenary, passed by Cedria during his quest, he would surprise people by visiting without prior notice. He would look inside the house as if inspecting it, check my daily routine, and leave with confidence, but whenever I was away, his nagging would worsen after I returned home. He would usually nag me to stay home and ask why I was away. ¡°If you come, say hello before you go. You only do things as you like,¡± I grumbled, then felt something touch my calf. A cat appeared out of nowhere and rubbed her face on my calf with a pleasant gurgle. The cat with black and white fur had a charming point¨Cits white whiskers looked like it had been dipped in black paint. Because of its unique appearance, I could tell it was the cat I had been feeding for a while. I put my hand under the cat¡¯s arm, lifted it like a radish, and made eye contact. The cat blinked its golden eyes. ¡°Hey, cat.¡± ¡°Meow¨C,¡± the cat meowed in response to my call. As the piece of cloth wrapped around the lower half of my face fluttered in the breeze, the cat waved one paw curiously. I held the cat securely in my arms to avoid its touch and stroked its head. ¡°Oppa must have come and gone without a word,¡± I pursed my lips, unable to hide my disappointment. ¡°What are you so busy with that you can¡¯t even see me? Right?¡± Advertisements The cat purred and rubbed its head against my arm. I laughed at the seemingly comforting action. I took the cat in my arms and tried to enter the house, but I couldn¡¯t let go of the lingering feeling and took a last look around. Then, I closed the door and entered the house. I put the cat in my arms down. It was hard to believe it was the first time it had been brought into the house because the cat looked accustomed to lying on the chair and stretching as if it were its own. Finally, the cat, purring like a newborn deer, fell asleep. I smiled at the peaceful sight and headed to the kitchen to prepare my meal. As I tried to remove the ingredients from the paper bag, I found a piece of paper under the vase. My eyes widened at the note I hadn¡¯t seen before, and I hurriedly picked it up. ¡¸ Don¡¯t take off the petals like the leaves. Take good care of the tulips until I return. Oh, if you get a letter from Rin, ignore it. It¡¯ll be useless again. -Takan.¡¹ I raised a brow and let out a hollow laugh. ¡°I already got a letter from Rin.¡± Fortunately, he didn¡¯t nag, but it was still sad because it would have been nice to see his face. Rin was my and Oppa¡¯s supporter. Over the past few years, I have traveled here and there like a wanderer at Oppa¡¯s whim, but I hadn¡¯t lost contact with him all this time. Oppa said he was a person who helped us a lot in our desperate moments of life and death. Besides that, he said Rin was the only person other than me that he thought of as family. Was that why? We had only exchanged letters, and I¡¯d never met him. Yet, I knew he had great affection even if I didn¡¯t know his face. Rin¡¯s affection for my brother seeped through his letters. Advertisements ¡°Oppa acts like he hates it, but it¡¯s obvious he doesn¡¯t.¡± I shook my head and put down the note. Then, I took off the cloth that covered my face and placed it next to it. I¡¯ll eat dinner later. I slumped down like a person whose legs were weak and lay face down on the dining table. I gently closed my eyes and rubbed my cheek to check the scar. Once I felt it, I let out a long sigh. A few years ago, since I lost my memory, I occasionally touched the scar to calm my anxiety. My brother and my scar were the only ones who remembered what I didn¡¯t Not all memories were hazy. If it were, I wouldn¡¯t have yelled at Takan and tried to run away a few years ago when I had just opened my eyes. ¡®W-who are you? Where am I? What am I¡­!¡¯ ¡®Calm down, Aelle. I¨C¡¯ ¡®¡­¡¯ ¡®Your family¡­ That¡¯s what I¡¯ll be.¡¯ At least I clearly remembered that Takan wasn¡¯t my real brother. He said we got into an accident, spent a long time there, and were the only survivors. I lay down like a doll, breathing but never getting up, and he always cared for me. To be honest, when I opened my eyes, I couldn¡¯t believe that time had passed. I was wary like a cat, drew a line, and tormented my brother for months. I was also scared. I was suspicious when he said I should hide my face and live as his sister. What incident was he talking about? There were many days when I could not fall asleep because I was afraid that I might be involved in the case. Advertisements When I went to the city without his knowledge, I heard from a villager that the town of Tigra was being closed down, and that¡¯s when I learned about the incident. Also, the fact that an aristocrat was pursuing an implicated person. ¡®Takan, tell me honestly. What have I done? Why should I hide? Maybe I¡­¡¯ Takan told me, who was constantly making pessimistic analogies that he was neither a criminal nor an involved person, but rather a person who was chased by an aggrieved person who harbored an ill will for reporting on the incident. The fact that other people remembered the time I didn¡¯t brought fear and anxiety and made people polite.* It was then that I started to let go of my guard against Takan. Around that time, I looked in the mirror at the scar on my face and decided to admit it¨Cthe time I didn¡¯t know had passed like flowing water. However, even if I acknowledged the time that had passed, I couldn¡¯t understand it. I stood still in the time when I did a sewing job while waiting for my older brother, who had disappeared. When I couldn¡¯t trust Takan, I tried to retrieve my memories. As I forcibly tried to recall fragments of my memories, a vaguely new man passed through my thoughts, and my head felt like it would split open. The person said something every time I thought of him, and I was upset and afraid without knowing what it was. But, instinctively, I was reluctant, so calm came when I decided not to go against my physiology anymore. After that, neither my brother nor I mentioned that incident, and since no one talked about it, I naturally forgot. I stopped thinking and slowly opened my eyes. My hand that had been rubbing the scar touched the vase. As it moved sideways, the tulip that had fallen turned and fell to the other side. ¡°Come quickly, Oppa.¡± On a leisurely afternoon after the meal, I arrived at the garden, where Oppa took me with a proud look on his face. It was around sunset. This place, where sunflowers and gujeolcho[1] were in full bloom as if it were autumn, was a famous tourist destination in Cedria. Advertisements The gujeolcho and sunflowers that bloomed profusely among the buds soaked in the red sunset were so eye-catching. It was truly spectacular. ¡®Look, Izenne!¡¯ I covered my mouth and giggled because I remembered Oppa, who brought me to a famous place, his eyes shining as if he had discovered something rare. It was to the point where I doubted that he was Oppa when I saw him easily get hot and emotional at times. How about taking some gujeolcho and decorating it next to my brother¡¯s tulips? I thought about my thoughts and smiled faintly before averting my gaze. As I looked away, my eye stopped at a person. A man stood in the middle of a garden, his head bowed. I couldn¡¯t see his face because his long hair that reached his shoulder was stretched out like a thread, but the man had an atmosphere strange enough to catch my eye. Did he feel the intense gaze? The man slowly turned to stare at me. For an instant, I forgot how to breathe when I met the man¡¯s eyes. It was the first time I had ever seen a man cry so pitifully. [1] ???(gujeolcho) is a flower native to South Korea. *Not 100% sure about the translation CH 71 I was distracted and stared blankly at the man. Emotions of unknown origin scattered throughout my body, and I stood motionless like a tree with roots. I couldn¡¯t even resist and continued staring at him. His long hair that reached his shoulders was as shiny as a sable, and his gray eyes, glistening with clear tears, were cold and radiant. It wasn¡¯t just because of the beautiful appearance that I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off him. The man gave off an insidious atmosphere that I instinctively felt that I should not approach. A feeling of reluctance to watch from afar swept through my body. Was that why? I wanted to ask him why he was crying, but I couldn¡¯t. Usually, I would have comforted him by handing him a handkerchief, but I couldn¡¯t do even that easily. Advertisements He stared at the foot of the mountain in awe, like a wild beast that had just jumped out. Then, as if the sunset signaled a crisis, I felt a sense of incongruity at seeing his dark hair wet. When our eyes met, he stared at me for a long time without saying a word. But when cool wind swept through the garden, and the fluttering petals died down, the man¡¯s unfocused eyes gradually became clearer and came into focus. His eyes widened. ¡°Aelle¡­?¡± How did he know my name? Before I could think further, the man ran up to me and grabbed my shoulder, and my vision shook. ¡°Ah.¡± The moment I closed my eyes and opened them, I found myself in the arms of the stranger. I could feel his unsteady breath at the nape of my neck and unfamiliar hands wrapped around my shoulder. I felt pain as if my bones were being crushed, and I was filled with fear for a moment. ¡°L-let go¡­!¡± I raised my hand to push the man¡¯s chest, but we were so close that there wasn¡¯t any gap for my hand to enter. I twisted my body mercilessly, but he didn¡¯t let go. ¡°If you don¡¯t let go immediately, I¡¯ll scream¡­!¡± ¡°Aelle.¡± At that moment, I stopped moving at the sound of his voice, and my eyes widened. ¡°Aelle.¡± Advertisements The man¡¯s breathing trembled as if he would collapse, then I felt something wet from the nape of my neck. His whole body shook as he embraced me. ¡°Aelle.¡± As if confirming my existence, he repeated the name pitifully and earnestly, leaving my mind blank. I blinked in a daze. If before, it felt like the front paws of an animal were crushing my bones and I was running out of breath, now it felt like hugging a small beast. Despite the obvious size difference, it felt like I was hugging him. ¡°Aelle.¡± I turned to glance at his face by my neck, perplexed because I couldn¡¯t answer the man¡¯s repeated calls and push him away. Maybe he was someone I knew before I lost my memory. I was about to ask but stopped. Even though the man knew my identity, I wasn¡¯t sure of his. I hesitated momentarily about whether to reveal I had lost my memory. In the end, I couldn¡¯t hold back my curiosity and hesitantly opened my mouth. ¡°Who¡­are you?¡± His breath stopped. Did I ask a stupid question? For a moment, the man¡¯s grip on my shoulder loosened. As he slowly lifted his head, the tears barely hanging in his bloodshot eyes fell. His eyes, dark as the dawn, had lost their vitality. ¡°Aelle?¡± Visibly shaken, the man swallowed hard, his throat bobbing, and scrutinized my face with his gray eyes. ¡°Aelle.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I know you resent me.¡± Advertisements Resent? Me? A pure question came to mind and I narrowed my eyes. ¡°It¡¯s natural to resent me, so¡­¡± ¡°Why would I?¡± He looked blankly at me. Then, I felt it¨Cif I opened my mouth more than this, I might hurt this man. However, it was hard to keep my mouth shut once I¡¯d opened it, and my doubts only grew bigger as time went on. ¡°Why would I resent you?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°We¡¯re not related[1].¡° As I uttered the last word, the man¡¯s hand completely came off me. I turned, frowning at the wind blowing. When the breeze died down, I turned back, brushing back my hair, and I couldn¡¯t help but jump in surprise. ¡°Aelle.¡± The man looked like his world had collapsed. ¡°Izenne.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Izenne?¡± I came to my senses when a hand tapped my shoulder, and looked around in dismay. Grandma Hoenn looked back at me, her expression serious. She adjusted her glasses and studied me closely. Advertisements ¡°Sorry, what did you say? I was thinking about something.¡± Grandma put her sewing kit down and placed her hand on my forehead. As if to gauge the heat, she placed her other hand on her forehead, and huffed. After a while, she removed her hand as if shaking it off. ¡°You don¡¯t have a fever. Do you feel unwell?¡± I smiled faintly, not wanting to cause unnecessary concern to Grandma Hoenn. She frowned and examined my face. ¡°What really happened for your complexion to turn blue? Did you sleep well last night? How about your food? Did you eat dinner last night?¡± Grandma fussed over her as if she was worried about her own granddaughter. ¡°Grandma, when a person turns blue, they¡¯re dead.¡± ¡°Izenne, you¡¯re not Yulina, so don¡¯t make lame jokes. Do you think I don¡¯t realize you¡¯re changing the topic?¡± Grandma Hoenn reproached me, but I could tell she was worried about me. Anyway, Grandma was quick. Or was I just dazed enough that it was too obvious? Well, it was still working hours. I awkwardly said, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I can work.¡± Grandma Hoenn clicked her tongue and gave me a disapproving stare. I guess my answer upset her. ¡°Who asked if you could work? I asked if you¡¯re okay. You don¡¯t seem like you are.¡± Grandma made up her mind and touched her knee as she tried to get off her stool. She stood with a groan. Advertisements ¡°Grandma?¡± She waved her hands and made her way to the table. ¡°I¡¯ll close the store, so go home now.¡± I stood up after Grandma Hoen and waved my hand. It felt uncomfortable that I seemed to have made her worry about me needlessly. ¡°There¡¯s no need for that. I¡¯m really fine.¡± Her eyes widened as she arranged the sewing tools on the table. Her usual gentle and warm impression became fierce. ¡°Izenne, it¡¯s not because of you. It¡¯s because I¡¯m out of breath. Will you go home only after your boss passes away?¡± ¡°Grandma, but¡­¡± She waved her hand toward the door, refusing to talk further. Was my complexion so bad that Grandma Hoenn¡¯s was worried about it? I tried to touch my face but felt the cloth covering the lower half of my face instead. Well, even if I touched my face, I still couldn¡¯t tell. Haa, I sighed briefly and blamed myself. I should have worn the cloth yesterday. I didn¡¯t because I was close to home, the day was about to set, and my guard was down. So the man must have recognized me. ¡®Aelle.¡¯ Advertisements I gently rubbed the nape of my neck where his heavy breath touched. In particular, I closed my eyes, stopping at the area where his lips had touched. ¡®What relationship did we have?¡¯ I remembered the man who had defenselessly collapsed. What kind of relationship did we have that made him look like that? I was too scared to ask. The man definitely knew me, but I knew nothing about him. Maybe that¡¯s why. I turned away from the man yesterday and ran away in fright. The fear of the unknown relationship was so great that it surpassed my curiosity even to ask questions. It might be a simple one-dimensional relationship, like one between friends, lovers, or couples. Still, in the worst-case scenario, he could also be a person involved in the incident. I couldn¡¯t rule out the possibility he was trying to trick me. Or it could be some other type of relationship. If Oppa were here, I could have asked. ¡°Izenne, I¡¯m going to rest when you go.¡± I shook off my thoughts and looked up. Grandma Hoenn pointed to the back, perhaps thinking I was hesitating when I was lost in thought. ¡°If you¡¯re so sorry, go home and do those things.¡± The items in the basket Grandma had pointed only needed simple tasks, like attaching buttons or adding fabric. I could complete it in three to four hours. I readily nodded and said, ¡°Then I¡¯ll take some work. I¡¯m sorry I always owe you.¡± Grandma shook her head and added that I shouldn¡¯t overdo it because she didn¡¯t tell me to complete everything. I smiled broadly at her kindness. CH 72 ¡°Your Grace!¡± The aide burst through the door and ran in. Kyle, who had been staring out the office window, turned at the urgent voice. ¡°Your Grace, it really is Madam.¡± The heavily breathing aide handed over the documents. Kyle didn¡¯t take it and just stared at the papers with shaky eyes. After a while, he stretched out his trembling hand and frowned. Thump¨C. His trembling hand missed the document once before he received it. ¡°Your Grace¡­¡± The aide set aside his heartache and posted the report. ¡°According to the investigation, Madam has been staying in the town of Cedria for about half a year. In the meantime, not only did she move around like a vagabond, but it seemed no one recognized her because she covered her face. There¡¯s also a possibility that she used a pseudonym.¡± Advertisements So, even if there were reports that they saw someone who looked like his wife, it was bound to be denied. The aide caught his breath and continued. ¡°Also, judging from the villagers¡¯ testimony, Madam was accompanied by a man. Apparently, it¡¯s Takan.¡± Kyle¡¯s eyes didn¡¯t shift away from the papers. As he watched the scene, the aide clenched his fists and tightly closed his eyes. The report felt like proof of his incompetence. If Madam was dead, it was his duty to find out whether she wanted to come back or not.* He was in a hurry to take care of his master¡¯s safety and assist him, so he missed the most important thing. The cost of missing it was severe. The aide was deeply concerned as he watched Kyle dry up day by day. It wasn¡¯t just his body. The Duke wasn¡¯t even a tree, but the aide vividly watched him lose life and dry up. As time passed like a stream, the nobleman¡¯s resoluteness, reason, and cool judgment vanished, leaving only a man who had lost the woman he loved. He lost his light and dried up in a dark bedroom. He couldn¡¯t sleep without alcohol, and his handsome features wildly praised by society faded. He gave off an intimidating aura with his beard and black hair that reached his shoulders. Only his splendid and honorable manners and dignity remained. Although his reputation was reduced by the mouths of aristocrats that held a grudge against his family, he ignored their indulgence. Nothing but Aelle could provoke him. Every time he saw his master, the aide wanted to cut off his mouth for talking presumptuously. He regretted admitting the Madam¡¯s death and encouraging the Duke to move forward. Advertisements Every day, he felt like his blood was drying up, thinking Kyle would disappear at any moment. The aide couldn¡¯t watch anymore and finally asked for medical care, and he persuaded the Duke that they might be able to find Aelle in an unexpected place, so they went down to Cedria for it. He never thought that the simple pretext would wield an unexpected harvest. The aide widened his eyes, thinking he wouldn¡¯t miss it anymore. ¡°Your Grace, this is your chance to bring the kidnapping case to an end and get Madam. Summon the knights immediately¨C¡± Kyle raised his hand and dismissed the aide¡¯s words. ¡°Stop.¡± Kyle sighed. ¡°Just stop.¡± Kyle rubbed his forehead, unable to hide his agitation. There seemed to be a lot of emotion in his voice, so the aide could not say anything and remained silent. ¡°Leave.¡± When Kyle raised his hand, the aide noticed his intention and left the office. When the aide left, Kyle collapsed onto the cold floor. Desperately holding the papers in his arms, he closed his eyes, his eyelids twitching. The garden where he found Aelle was where he once made a promise he couldn¡¯t keep. He planned to bring her there when she recovered because Aelle had once said, ¡®Let¡¯s go to a place where the flowers I like are in full bloom.¡¯ The place Kyle had visited with Aelle in mind was peaceful. Facing Aelle felt like a natural progression. He closed his eyes, thinking he wanted to flow along the wind that touched her skin, and she inevitably came to mind like an afterimage¨Cher weeping face filled with pain that robbed him of his breath. Advertisements At that moment, he heard a voice, and he looked away involuntarily. Hair that flowed with the win, gentle eyes, and a pure expression. He recognized her the moment he saw her, but he wasn¡¯t too surprised. Aelle, who looked at Kyle with unfeeling eyes, was a vision he had seen all over the mansion. ¡®Aelle¡­?¡¯ Then the illusion moved as if it were alive. He hugged the real Aelle instead of her clothes and repeated her name. ¡®Aelle.¡¯ Aelle. Aelle. She was alive. He repeated her name over and over again as he held her in his arms. He no longer had to call her name in the empty cold. Kyle didn¡¯t care if she killed him then. He didn¡¯t mind if she swore, spit on him, beat him, or grabbed his hair. He didn¡¯t care if he was humiliated, shamed, teased, or mocked. Whatever she¡¯d do, he was prepared to receive it sweetly. He was full of thoughts of daring to kneel at her feet, beg desperately for forgiveness, and look up earnestly at her. Just as Kyle buried his face in the crook of her neck and breathed in joy and relief, her cold voice pierced his heart. ¡®Who¡­are you?¡¯ In an instant, his heart crashed at his feet. He forgot to breathe, and his mind went blank. He had hoped she¡¯d be resentful and say words to hurt him, but instead, she stared at Kyle with blank eyes and a calm expression. There was nothing in her eyes except the fear of seeing a stranger. Nothing else. He was helpless, unable to accept or deny the situation that had occurred. The paper crumpled in his arms just like his heart. He didn¡¯t even dare to ask for forgiveness. I cradled the basket in my arms and climbed the steep uphill. Unlike climbing an uphill barefoot, my breathing quickened. I crossed the hill, hearing the sound of my breathing vividly in my ears. The peaceful scenery unfolded as usual when I looked up after looking at the bridge the whole time. Advertisements When I saw the leaves in the tree had become reddish, I realized that autumn had arrived. I glanced around the peaceful surroundings, and my eyes widened. I stopped in my tracks and looked at the cabin in bewilderment. ¡°Oppa?¡± A person stood in front of the fence. He passed by the village not too long ago, so it seemed his job was finished quickly. I smiled brightly and quickened my steps. Unlike before, both the basket full of work and my tired body felt light. If my arms were free, I would have sneaked up behind Oppa and surprised him. While thinking about other things, I bravely crossed the hill. As I approached the cabin, I stopped walking when I was almost there. I saw black hair, not Oppa¡®s, that was as blue as the clear autumn sky. That man. He was the same man I ran into yesterday. Shwaa¨C The wind that passed by the meadow ruffled the man¡¯s hair, and he turned around, brushing his hair. The eyes of the man who saw me widened dramatically. ¡°Ha, Aelle.¡± The man laughed, unable to hide his joy. When I winced and looked wearily at him, his expression hardened. ¡°How did you know this place?¡± The man was silent for a while, seemingly thinking carefully about his answer. Soon, he slowly answered, ¡°I had it investigated.¡± The man spoke openly with an innocent face, and I knew he didn¡¯t lie. On the contrary, he was so impudent that I was embarrassed I had asked the question. ¡°¡­You had it investigated?¡± The man nodded. Advertisements ¡°This is the closest place to where we met yesterday.¡± ¡°¡­¡± He had it investigated. It wasn¡¯t something that would come out of a normal person¡¯s mouth. I blinked without saying a word, and the man lowered his eyes before slowly raising them as if he was paying attention. ¡°Are¡­you angry?¡± Rather than angry, I was reluctant to face this man and have a conversation with him. At that moment, his eyes fell on the basket. ¡°That¡¯s.¡± I gripped the basket tighter. It was strange. The man had hugged me on his own when we first met, but now, like a dog watching his owner, he couldn¡¯t even approach me and stayed where he was. This man knew me, and after less than a day since he met, he even found my residence. He looked shabby at first glance, but his strong gaze and high-handed words were proof that he was an unusual person. I had a hunch that I shouldn¡¯t be involved any more than this. Whether this person was my lover, partner, or friend¡­ Whatever he was, there was nothing wrong with staying vigilant. At least until Oppa returned. I ignored the man and passed the fence before stopping. I had to put this meeting to an end. Advertisements I hesitated for a moment, then turned to look at him. As I let out a shallow sigh before speaking, I felt the man flinch. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, as I said before, but I don¡¯t remember who you are.¡± Who you were to me. I swallowed the rest of my words. At the same time, I was wary and afraid of the stranger who might be related to the incident and felt sorry that I couldn¡¯t remember him. But I also didn¡¯t want to remember him because I thought he was dangerous. Even I was confused. CH 73 The man just looked at me with shaky eyes, but his mouth remained tightly closed as if a huge stone had been placed on it. ¡°Seeing that you¡¯re not talking, it doesn¡¯t seem like we had a very good relationship.¡± The man neither confirmed nor denied, but that was enough of an answer. He merely turned away with a shallow sigh. ¡°No matter what relationship you and I had, I am satisfied with my life now. So, please don¡¯t act like this out of the blue.¡± Thinking the conversation was over, I glanced at him and passed by. ¡°How can I¨C¡± At that moment, I heard the man¡¯s faltering voice, and he hurriedly brought out his words as if to catch me. I slowly turned to look at the man. He stared at me cautiously like he was examining my mood. ¡°Is there a way I can be by your side?¡± ¡°By my side?¡± I asked back, frowning at his question. He stared at me worldlessly, confirming I hadn¡¯t heard wrong. His eyes seemed desperate for an answer. I lowered my gaze and stared at the man¡¯s hand. His trembling fingers gave away his feelings. How? I quickly shook off my thoughts. ¡°There isn¡¯t.¡± I meant it literally. There was no way. Was there a reason to keep a man by my side in the first place? I spoke coolly and kept my gaze indifferent. ¡°¡­¡± However, the moment I inadvertently saw the man, my composure was shaken. The man looked grievous and sorrowful, like a felon who had been sentenced to death. The man furrowed his neat eyebrows and bit his lip. A faint sound, whether a grunt or a groan, flowed from his teeth as if he was enduring pain. Seeing the man act as if his whole world collapsed at my words caught me off guard. My grip tightened on the basket. When I saw the man¡¯s hurt look, words didn¡¯t come out easily like before. I hesitated for a moment, then said, ¡°Like I said, I don¡¯t remember who you are. Moreover, even if I did, I doubt you¡¯re someone I can trust.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°How can I be with someone like that?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t come anymore.¡± I looked away and climbed over the fence. Contrary to my expectation that the conversation would continue, the man stood there unmoved. Just like a tree with deep roots, he stood alone on the plain, staring into the air. It was almost sunset when I thought I could smell damp water from the breeze coming through the window. A while later, raindrops began to fall. As time passed, the rain got stronger, and I heard the drops hitting the window like a bird¡¯s beak pecking at it. I hummed along the raindrops and handled the tasks I had received from Grandma Hoenn. As I sewed, time flew by, and the dusky evening arrived. When the basket full of work was reduced by half, the cat, who had fallen asleep, got up, shook out its legs, and stretched itself until its body shook. Meow¨C The cat meowed, jumped off the chair, and strolled to my feet before rubbing itself on me. It purred as it rubbed its head against my shin. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± The cat raised its head and looked intently into my eyes as if asking for something. I put my work down and lifted the cat to sit it on my thigh. The cat settled down and curled up on itself, still purring. As I stroked its fur, the cat opened its mouth and yawned. ¡°Are you hungry?¡± I wondered if the cat could understand what I said because it stopped yawning to stare up at me, but it didn¡¯t respond. Of course, it couldn¡¯t. I pushed the work to the edge of the table and got up with the cat. I placed the cat on my chair and tapped its nose. ¡°Hang on.¡± After seeing the cat settle and curl into itself, I smiled happily and headed to the kitchen. ¡°I wonder if the cat has anything to eat.¡± Thinking of going out into the city tomorrow and buying something for the cat to eat, I headed for the kitchen and inadvertently turned to stare out the window. ¡°That person¡­¡± I stopped in my tracks when I saw a man standing outside the fence in the pouring rain. ¡°How long have you been standing there?¡± After talking to him, the sun was still shining when I entered the house, so at least four hours must have passed. It had been less than an hour since it rained, but I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if it went on longer since it was autumn. Before I could even think of anything else, my feet led me outside. I quickly reached the door and grabbed the doorknob before I hesitated. What was I doing? I had already decided not to get involved with that man. My grip on the doorknob tightened so hard that my hand turned white. For some reason, I felt that there would be no turning back if I let the man inside. Why did he want to be by my side? Contrary to my curiosity, there was a part of me that didn¡¯t want to know. I could infer my relationship with the man to some extent through today¡¯s meeting¡ªthat level of earnestness and tenacity, even the genuine affection overflowing in his eyes. There was a high chance we were lovers, but the man¡¯s behavior gave me the impression it wasn¡¯t a good relationship. In that case, I¡¯m sorry, but it might be better not to know. I was satisfied with my life as it was. Even though we didn¡¯t share a drop of blood, the peaceful days I lived with Oppa were now my world. No matter what my past was, whatever that man was to me¡­ Above all, I couldn¡¯t ignore my intuition and my conflicting emotions caused by the man. I sighed deeply and removed my hand from the doorknob. If he were in his right mind, the man wouldn¡¯t stand there until he froze to death in the cold. Meow¨C The cat meowed at me, as if urging me to feed it. When I turned, the cat had completely risen from its spot and stared at me in protest. ¡°Alright, wait a minute,¡± I said, chuckling as I turned back to the kitchen. I put the work I had barely finished the day before into a basket and held it in my arms. I pressed down the overflowing cloth that blocked my view with my chin, fixed it, and staggered toward the door. I put down the basket by the door and felt a strange sense of deja vu as I gripped the doorknob, I shook my head for a moment when I remembered what had happened last night. Surely, he wouldn¡¯t be there anymore. I chuckled and opened the door. I picked up the basket and rushed to work, but I suddenly stopped. I turned my head slowly, like a creaking wooden doll. ¡°Ha,¡± I laughed under my breath. When the man felt my presence, he leisurely turned to look at me. The man was far from haggard, so no one would think he stood in the heavy rain. His black hair, which slightly covered his eyes, was soft, and his wet clothes were dry. The man looked intently at the basket in my hand. He seemed to want to inspect it like he did yesterday. I held the basket tightly and gripped it closer to my chest. ¡°Have you been here all night?¡± The man nodded slowly at the words that came out sharper than expected. Was he always this reticent? A little frustrated, I sighed. The man¡¯s expression hardened instantly as if he had accepted my behavior. ¡°Why have you been here all this time?¡± ¡°Because you told me not to come back.¡± Just because of that? The man was about to continue to speak but bit his lip. After hesitating, he said, ¡°If I don¡¯t leave this place forever, I won¡¯t come back.¡± His words left me speechless, and I could only blink. There was no other way to describe the man¡¯s behavior than it was foolish and nonsensical.