《Metamorphosis (Book Boyfriend #1)》


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    Chapter One


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe we are finally here. I am completely and utterly exhausted, but could not be happier,¡± Evie, my longtime best friend and now college roommate, said as she threw herself across her freshly made twin bed.Advertisement


    ¡°I know. It¡¯s surreal, isn¡¯t it? I¡¯m almost afraid to go to sleep tonight in fear that I¡¯ll wake up tomorrow morning back at my parent¡¯s house,¡± I replied as I sat down cross-legged in the chair across the room.


    ¡°God, that would be a nightmare.¡±


    ¡°Tell me about it. You aren¡¯t the one that¡¯s had to live with them the last 18 years,¡± I muttered.


    ¡°True, but I have had to live across the street for the last ten and listen to you bitch and moan every day about the prison wardens they are,¡± she retorted.


    Evie was right; without her, I may have gone crazy at some point while dealing with my family. That or run away and joined the circus. Seriously, that would¡¯ve been an upgrade to the life I had while living with my parents. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit, it¡¯s not like they ever beat me, or neglected me or really even yelled at me. I never wanted for any material item or for my parent¡¯s attention. It was quite the opposite actually. My parents were so far up my ass that they literally did not allow me to have a life of my own.


    The reason my parents treated me the way they did all went back to my older brother, Matt. My parents had Matt right after they had finished college. Both being young attorneys and wanting to climb the corporate ladder, Matt was often left under the supervision of our grandparents who had a hard time saying no, and babysitters that knew as much about child rearing as I do. By the time Matt was a teenager, my parents both had well-established, well-paying jobs as defense attorneys and worked long hours outside the home leaving Matt alone often. Matt became the stereotypical troublemaker. He did lousy in school, got in trouble with the law on several occasions for fighting, alcohol and marijuana possession, and was known for his way with the girls and his numerous one-night stands. I was pretty sure I was my parents attempt to try parenting over again. As bad as it sounded, I think they felt they had failed miserably with Matt and needed a redo to prove to themselves that they could raise as close to a perfect child as possible. I was born when Matt was 16. I was 2 when he left home, so I had no memories of his living with us other than a few random pictures. Thankfully, with time, he had eventually become a successful member of society and worked his way back in my parent¡¯s good graces. He became a middle school teacher and coach along with his wife Meg, who I adore, and they have one daughter, Alyssa. My niece is my little ray of sunshine. I would babysit for her often and loved spending time with her, and spoiling her rotten (or spending time spoiling her rotten). I was definitely the cool aunt and not just because I was the only aunt.


    So my parents had me when they were both forty-four, which in my opinion, was way too old to be starting over. My mom decreased her workload drastically so that she could stay home with me and be present at every moment in my life. I still think she¡¯s pissed with God that she wasn¡¯t around when I first got my period. To ensure that I did not turn out anything like Matt, my parents sent me to an all-girl Catholic school for my entire scholastic career, kindergarten through twelfth grade. What I always found so funny about this was we weren¡¯t even Catholic. They filled my evenings with piano and classical guitar lessons, dance lessons, soccer practices and community service. My weekends weren¡¯t much better- when I wasn¡¯t at a recital, performance, or game of some sort, I was at church or playing the piano for the choir. They did everything in their power to sculpt me into their idea of perfection personified, and for the most part, thanks to my non-confrontational, naturally submissive personality, I did exactly as I was told.


    But today was the day they finally had to let me go. I had been looking forward to that day for at least the past three years, ever since I realized that kids my age were actually doing fun things while I was studying or practicing something or another. I was finally free of their outrageous and outlandish rules. I knew that I¡¯d never escape their unrealistic and idealistic expectations of me, but now as long as I made good grades and didn¡¯t get in legal or financial trouble, I would never have to live under their roof again.


    ¡°Hello! Earth to Scarlett! Are you still with me here?¡± Evie yelled, shaking me out of my daydream. Or would it be a night dream since it was 11:00 at night? Hmppphh¡­ that was an interesting thought¡­


    ¡°Scarlett, seriously, what the fuck is your problem? You are sitting over there looking like you¡¯re being forced to watch someone shit in your Louboutins,¡± she spat.


    ¡°I don¡¯t own Louboutins, Evie.¡±


    ¡°Humor me¡­¡± she said and then a serious look crossed her face. ¡° You are supposed to be happy¡­ joyful¡­ hell, you should be jumping up and down ecstatic that you are actually going to be able to have a life.¡±


    ¡°Sorry, I was just thinking about how controlling my parents really are and wondering how I¡¯ve managed to survive until now,¡± I confessed.


    ¡°Controlling?!? That¡¯s like saying that Lindsey Lohan has a minor drug problem or that Charles Manson might have been a psychopath. Elizabeth and David are nuts and I¡¯m still not sure how you¡¯ve managed not to go postal on them until yesterday. And I¡¯m still surprised they ever let you be friends with me.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s only because they could see your house from our front window,¡± I said somewhat embarrassed because we both knew that was the truth. ¡°And I think they are still in shock over my standing up to them,¡± I continued as I thought back to the day prior when I had told them I was an adult and was making a clean break from them. I was finally taking control of my life; I¡¯d be making all of my own decisions, and whether those decisions were right or wrong, good or bad, I could and would live with the consequences because they were MY choices. I didn¡¯t mean for the conversation to be hurtful or ugly ~ I told them I appreciated everything that they had done for me, all that they had sacrificed for me to have the life I had, and how much I loved them for that. I had also told them I understood why they tried so hard to protect and shield me from¡­ well, everything really. But when it was clear that they were not listening to a word I said and told me they expected to be in my dorm room by 10:00 PM on school nights and midnight on the weekends, I lost it. Truth be told, I went bat-shit crazy. After all of the screaming and crying, we resolved nothing. They thought I was acting immature and unappreciative and told me to get ready for a huge wake-up call when the real world wasn¡¯t what I expected it to be. I thought they were unreasonable and irrational, and that they expected me to live in some ridiculous bubble forever. It still made my stomach hurt to think about it; I had actually vomited several times during the argument because I was so upset. Thankfully, Evie and her parents allowed me to stay at their home for our last night in San Antonio, because I could not spend one more night under my parents¡¯ roof, or their rule ~ I was done. Evie could not believe it when I showed up on her doorstep with my puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She had told me no less than one hundred times in the last twenty four hours how proud of me she was for standing up for myself, but I was still upset about how the whole thing went down.


    Evie and I had become friends when our parents bought houses across the street from one another in a newly constructed neighborhood the summer before third grade. Our parents were always cordial with one another but they were never friends that hung out together. My parents were older, extremely conservative, and so involved in my life, they forgot to have one of their own. Evie¡¯s parents were quite the opposite.


    Her mom was from Japan. She had come to the U.S. for college which is where she met Evie¡¯s father, who was also studying abroad in the United States, he was originally from Australia. They could not have looked any less like a couple that belonged with one another, but they were so cute when they were together. She was tiny, maybe five feet tall and a size 0, with dark hair and eyes, where Evie¡¯s dad stood well over six feet and donned curly blonde hair and sky blue eyes. Even after twenty plus years, they flirted with one another, had date nights regularly, and really seemed to still be in love. Evie hated when they engaged in their playful, sexy banter around the house, but I didn¡¯t mind it. My parents would never allow me to hear them even suggest something in a sexual manner. They had kept me away from the male population as much as they possibly could, short of sending me to a convent. My brother and I, or old age, or something must¡¯ve done a number on their relationship because they seemed to have no chemistry or passion for one another as far as I could tell. I¡¯m surprised that my dad stayed inside my mom long enough to ensure my conception to be quite honest. I am still not convinced that my two X chromosomes weren¡¯t magically mated in a petri dish in a doctor¡¯s office. But at the very least, I can guarantee you that the sexual encounter was not by chance, it was most definitely penciled in on their schedules. These people were obsessed with calendars and schedules¡­ you really have no idea.


    So my family moved in across the way just several weeks after Evie, whose real name was Evelyn Rose, and her family had relocated to San Antonio from California. We were both 8 years old, separated by only a few months, and we immediately became the best of friends. We liked to play the same games, listen to the same music, and we both loved to read. We would spend hours at each other¡¯s houses reading the same book so that we could discuss it as we went. It was almost as if we had formed our own little mini-book club long before we knew what one was. At the end of that first summer of knowing each other, we were devastated to find out we wouldn¡¯t be going to the same school. I would continue at St. Helens in the city and Evie would attend the local public school. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the public schools where we lived, in fact they had won numerous achievement recognition awards for their national test scores; however, my parents would not even consider letting me attend there. I remember asking one time if I could go to school where Evie went. I was told no and that we would never discuss it again. So we didn¡¯t.


    As we grew up, Evie and I stayed close despite the fact that we had different school friends and were involved in different activities. We were both very smart and were at the top of our class from elementary school on. In high school Evie became very popular at her school and developed quite the social life. It was really no wonder seeing how she was gorgeous, brilliant, and a sincerely nice person. Evie and I talked on the phone every night before we went to bed, filling each other in on the day¡¯s events. The conversations were usually heavily weighted on Evie¡¯s contributions since I had no social life to speak of. I didn¡¯t mind though, I lived vicariously through her since it was the best I was going to get. We still spent several nights a week at each other¡¯s houses and still read at least one book a week together. Because we had read so many books, and starting about eighth grade most of them had been romance novels, we had felt we were well prepared entering high school for immature boys that thought only with their dicks and caddy teenage girls that were willing to cheat, lie and steal to climb the social hierarchy. Lucky for me, I didn¡¯t have to interact with too many high school boys and never allowed myself to get caught up in the estrogen possessed drama that took place at my school. Evie, on the other hand, just couldn¡¯t avoid it. She made the mistake once of falling head over heels for a boy at her school during sophomore year. He was the typical high school jock that everyone treated as a deity. Evie soon found out that he lived up to that rich athlete stereotype so precisely captured in all of our books ~ cocky, self-centered, and a cheating scumbag. After that, she never allowed herself to get emotionally attached to any one guy, but often dated and had her share of sexual escapades with both high school and local college boys.

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    ¡°Scarlett, you are doing it again! I¡¯ve never seen you so spacey,¡± Evie cut into my stroll down memory lane once again. ¡°Come on! Snap out of it! Aren¡¯t you just geeking about tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°Geeking? What is that? Geeking? I swear you must look these words up online or something?¡±Advertisement


    ¡°No, sourpuss, I don¡¯t. I just have an immensely elaborate vocabulary,¡± she smirked.


    ¡°Immensely elaborate vocabulary and you come up with geeking and sourpuss? Wow, Rice University has no idea what they said yes to when they accepted your application,¡± I retorted.


    ¡°Just shut up and let¡¯s talk about tomorrow. Have you decided what you are going to do with your hair?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not really sure¡­¡±


    ¡°Wait,¡± she interrupted. ¡°Before we continue this conversation, let¡¯s open our celebratory bottle of wine.¡±


    She was headed for the kitchen before she even finished the sentence, grabbing two of our new wine glasses from the cabinet that I had just put away less than an hour ago. Once she had opened the bottle of Pinot Grigio she had stolen from her parents bar and poured us each a glass, she rejoined me in her bedroom.


    ¡°Okay, now we are ready. So tomorrow?¡± she asked as she eluded to the day we had planned for my external makeover. Weeks prior she had scheduled for me to spend a day at a local spa for a massage, a manicure/ pedicure, waxing, and a new hairstyle. After that we were to go shopping so I could start reinventing my wardrobe. Luckily, I had saved upwards of five thousand dollars throughout high school babysitting, tutoring, and teaching after school music lessons, so I would be able to purchase a good base.


    ¡°Look Evie, I am extremely excited about tomorrow. I really am, I promise¡± I began. ¡°But I¡¯m also very nervous and anxious about all of it. Finally being able to live my own life, to make my own decisions about what I like and don¡¯t like, getting to choose my own clothes, styling my own hair, doing whatever I want, whenever I want¡­ all of it sounds amazing¡­ it sounds so freeing¡­ but I just feel incredibly overwhelmed by all of it. I know most people don¡¯t get to just start over when they are eighteen, a chance to recreate their image, who they want to be¡­ And I¡¯m so thankful and relieved that I¡¯m finally here, away from them, but truth be told I¡¯m just scared. I don¡¯t want to mess this up. Ya know?¡± I confessed.


    ¡°Oh sweetie,¡± she said as she patted the bed next to where she was laying, indicating for me to join her. I lifted my eyebrows in disapproval at her ¡°sweetie¡± remark, but she went on as if she didn¡¯t notice. ¡°You are going to do just fine. You just need to give yourself more credit. You are so smart, and so sweet, and you are beautiful inside and out. Plus you will always have me here to tell you when you are fucking up, so there¡¯s no way you can fail.¡±


    ¡°I know, I know. It¡¯s just a lot to deal with all of a sudden. I have thought about this day for so long, I thought I was so prepared but the truth is I really don¡¯t know who I am, I don¡¯t know who I want to be. And then when I even think about dating, I just want to throw up,¡± I admitted as I drained the contents of my glass.


    ¡°Let¡¯s move this conversation to the kitchen so we can refill our glasses,¡± Evie interjected.


    I followed behind her continuing my whining, ¡°First, I get around boys and it¡¯s like I lose the ability to speak intelligently. My mouth dries up like the Sahara desert, my brain freezes, and my stomach twists and turns like it¡¯s warming up for the uneven bars at the Olympics.¡±


    ¡°You act like you¡¯ve never been around a boy before, Sam. Come on, you¡¯ve kissed a couple of guys. Shit, you¡¯ve even kissed a girl! And you¡¯ve read enough sex scenes in our books that you know what¡¯s supposed to happen. Hell, you probably know more about how it¡¯s supposed to go than most girls our age who just blindly and drunkenly stumble through the act.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve kissed a couple of guys before, Evie, like two, and both times were at church camp and were one time occurrences. And you kissing me so I wouldn¡¯t be nervous about my first kiss hardly counts for anything,¡± I argued. ¡°To think I¡¯m experienced in any way sexually is truly laughable, most twelve and thirteen year olds have done more than I have. Reading about something and actually doing it is quite different, especially when you are talking about sex. Oh, and I thought we were going to lose the nickname when we moved here


    ¡°I¡¯m never dropping the nickname so get that thought out of your pretty little head,¡± she smirked. ¡°And I take great offense that kissing me ¡®hardly counts for anything.¡¯ Do you know how many people would love to have my tongue in their mouth?¡± I just rolled my eyes in response.


    As we sat on the kitchen counter we opted to forgo the glasses and passed the bottle of wine back and forth between us drinking straight from the source, and I continued to ramble on about my fears and worries when it came to entering the world of dating.


    ¡°I don¡¯t even know what kind of guy is my type. I don¡¯t know who is out of my league and who isn¡¯t. I don¡¯t know if I should let a guy approach me or if I should approach him¡­ there are just all these questions¡­ I feel so silly.¡±


    ¡°Okay, let¡¯s get one thing straight ~ NO guy is out of your league!¡± she said sternly looking directly into my eyes. ¡°I never want to hear you say something like that again. You seriously have no idea what a fucking amazing catch you are for any guy. I swear, your parents really did a number on your self-esteem. Guys look at you all the time, you just never notice because you are too afraid your parents will catch you making eye contact with one and then you¡¯ll, I don¡¯t know, end up pregnant or something.¡± She continued, ¡°As for what your type is, surely you have some idea what you are looking for. I mean we have only read hundreds, if not thousands, of books that pretty much cover every category of guy that exists. Think about all of our favorite book boyfriends¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s just the thing, I love so many of our book boyfriends, ALL of them actually,¡± I giggled as the wine was definitely starting to have some effect on me. ¡°Sometimes I think I¡¯d like the All-American, college frat boy image, maybe even one with a bit of a wild side. But then I think about our beloved tattooed bad boy rockers and I think about tracing their tattoos with my tongue¡­ yummy indeed.¡±


    ¡°You really do have a kinky freak living inside there, don¡¯t you?¡± Evie joked. ¡°I¡¯m kind of afraid of what¡¯s going to happen once you get an actual taste of the passion that you read about so often. If those books get your panties all wet, what¡¯s going to happen when an actual hottie get his hands on you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure¡­ I may spontaneously combust or my panties may just disintegrate right off my body,¡± I laughed. ¡°But don¡¯t act like I¡¯m the only one that fantasizes about our book boyfriends. I clearly remember just last week a certain someone texting me in the wee hours of the morning because she had just had a wet dream about¡­ who was it that time¡­ I can¡¯t remember someone that you called ¡®Daddy¡¯ in bed or some shit.¡±


    ¡°Shut the fuck up.¡± She joked. ¡°We really are little book whores, aren¡¯t we? Not just in the number of books that we read, but in how many of the guys we are in love with, the things that we dream about doing with them¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah, how sad is that? If it wasn¡¯t for that vibrator you bought me last year, I would probably have carpal tunnel by this point,¡± I admitted. I must be the most sexually frustrated virgin on the planet because my virtue was still intact only because my parents didn¡¯t let me out of their sight long enough to even meet anyone, much less like someone enough to want to have sex with them. I wasn¡¯t interested in just handing it out on a silver platter in a bathroom stall at one of my recitals or better yet, at church camp. I was pretty sure the man upstairs wouldn¡¯t approve of the fact that I was using him as an excuse to escape my parents and whore myself out. I felt bad enough that it was the only place I had ever kissed a guy. I had felt so guilty then that I had almost expected to be struck by lightning or something, but I made it through the rest of the week unscathed.


    ¡°You¡¯re telling me! It¡¯s been over three months since I stopped seeing Garrett. All the extra free time has allowed me to read myself into sexual frustration as well,¡± she complained. ¡°We really need to get out and have some fun. I can¡¯t wait to corrupt you¡­ and it all begins tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to need your help in corrupting, I¡¯ve been looking forward to this too much. I may need help in controlling my hormones once they¡¯re released from their cage.¡± I waggled my eyebrows at her. ¡°Now back to these different categories of book boyfriends. We need to make sure we consider all potential candidates. We forgot to mention the hot professors looking for reasons to tutor us in private, or the famous musicians that are going to mysteriously pop into our lives and beg us to go on tour with them because we are their muse. Ooh, better yet, maybe we can snag us an ultimate,¡± I said in my faux serious voice.


    ¡°An ultimate?¡± Evie interrupted.


    ¡°Yeah, the ultimates¡­ you know, the devastatingly handsome, possessive billionaire moguls that can¡¯t live without us and are dying to shower us with wealth and satisfy our deep, dark sexual desires,¡± I explained.


    ¡°Okay, I lied. Even though I said there¡¯s no guy out of your league, I¡¯m not sure we are quite ready for ¡®the ultimates.¡¯ Jesus Christ, Scarlett, you go from telling me you are scared to talk to a college boy to telling me you want to find an older man that¡¯s into bondage and whips. I think we may need to work our way there so you feel a little more comfortable with yourself and your body before we head down that road. Plus, I¡¯m not sure if there¡¯s a local Billionaire BDSM club that we can just waltz in and make our selection,¡± she joked.


    I started laughing uncontrollably at her last comment as I envisioned the two of us walking up to an office building trying to find our version of an ultimate. She was right, I needed to take baby steps before I found myself blindfolded and restrained to a cross on a wall trying to remember my safe word, while anticipating the crack of a whip across my skin.


    ¡°But Ana was a virgin¡­¡± I tried to argue, but couldn¡¯t even get the thought out without cracking up all over again. We both laughed until tears streamed down our faces. Finally after several minutes, we regained our composure and Evie said she had a plan.


    ¡°This is what we are going to do. Tomorrow we are going to recreate your image with a new hairstyle, a little bit of makeup, and new clothes ~ going to get you all sexified. Then tomorrow night we are going to go with my cousin to that party by her school. But before we go, we are going to pick one of the categories of our book boyfriends and our goal for the evening is to find our version of that BB. Each subsequent night we go out together, we will choose a different category until we find exactly what your type is. Shit, it might even help me because I¡¯m quickly finding out what I thought my type was, is actually quite similar to the description of a douchebag,¡± she explained.

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    ¡°Okay, I like the sound of this. But once we find our version of the BB, then what do we do?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean ¡®then what do we do?¡¯ You talk to him, kiss him, screw him¡­ whatever you want to do with him. We can even make it a little game. Whoever gets farther with their BB that night is the winner and buys the other breakfast the next morning. We can whore our way through our book boyfriends until we determine what each of our ¡®type¡¯ is.¡±Advertisement


    ¡°That¡¯s no fair! You are obviously going to win all the time; I¡¯m at such a disadvantage! I don¡¯t just want to give away my virginity to the first guy that comes along to win some game,¡± I argued.


    ¡°Oh Sam,¡± Evie replied, ¡°I¡¯m not going to just sleep with guys that I don¡¯t want to sleep with just so I don¡¯t have to buy breakfast the next morning or to beat you at some game. The true point of the game is to find a guy that¡¯s a keeper, one you seriously want to date, the side game will just make it more fun until we do!¡±


    I thought about what she said and knew she was right. Evie had devised a perfect way for me to meet different kinds of guys and the game would help me to break out of my shell, lose some of my insecurities, and do things that I would most likely be too timid to try. I¡¯m not sure if it was the empty bottle of wine that sat in the kitchen trash, the possibility of finding the happily ever after I had read about time and again in my countless books, or the fact I definitely did not want to die a virgin, but I found myself saying, ¡°Game on. May the best book whore win.¡±


    Chapter 2


    The following morning came way too soon, and before I had even opened my eyes, I felt the throbbing in my head. Before the previous night, my alcohol consumption had been limited to a glass of wine on two separate occasions; both times I had stayed the night at Evie¡¯s house. My parents would have never allowed me to drink, not for any reason. When I finally managed to roll out of bed to turn off the screaming alarm clock, I headed straight for the kitchen to grab a glass of water and some aspirin from my purse. I heard the shower running in Evie¡¯s room so I knew that she was up and getting ready and that I needed to get moving. Our spa appointments began at 8:00AM and it was already 7:15.


    After showering and throwing on some of Evie¡¯s clothes she loaned me, since I literally left my parent¡¯s house with the clothes on my back, I found her waiting for me in the living room. Luckily the medicine had kicked in and I was feeling a little more human.


    ¡°You ready for your makeover? To find out how beautiful you truly are when you aren¡¯t hiding behind all of that hair and those frumpy ass clothes?¡± she asked with a huge grin on her face. I knew she was just as excited about this as me, maybe even more so.


    ¡°Absolutely. Let the fun begin.¡± I responded, returning the smile.


    Even though I had grown up in San Antonio, which was far from a small rural town, it was nothing compared to the large metropolis of Houston. My only visit there had been when I had come with my parents for a day tour of the Rice campus. I was so glad that Evie would be the one driving us around. She had visited family here often and even though she didn¡¯t know exactly where everything was, her memory paired with a trusty navigation system was sure to not get us too lost. So we jumped in her car and headed out.


    Upon arrival at the spa, we were quickly checked in for our ¡°A Whole New Me¡± package, which I thought was an especially fitting name for my current situation, and were whisked away to strip and change into plush white bath robes. I had never been to a day spa before, so I had asked Evie all kinds of questions on the way over about what to expect. I was most nervous about the waxing and the massage. The waxing scared me for a couple of reasons ~ first, I had read about how painful it was and I knew that my threshold for pain was at like a -2 on a scale of 1 to 10; and second, I couldn¡¯t believe that I was going to allow a complete stranger to not only look at, but touch my private area. Evie tried to calm my nerves by telling me that the aesthetician sees women¡¯s pussies and asses all day long, much like a gynecologist. For her, it would be like looking at any other body part-an arm or a leg. This didn¡¯t make me feel much better, but I really didn¡¯t have a logical argument. The massage scared me for similar reasons. I knew it wouldn¡¯t be painful, but I wasn¡¯t quite sure I was comfortable with a stranger rubbing their hands all over my body. I know this seems a little prudish but let¡¯s face it, I was a prude whether it was my choice to be or not. Evie finally told me to shut up, everything would be fine. I needed to just enjoy the day, so I did exactly that.


    The first service I was scheduled for was the waxing. I thought I might as well get the toughest part over first, right? I soon found out that tough wasn¡¯t quite the right word to describe exactly what happened to me on that table. Awful, dreadful, agonizing, excruciating, unbearable¡­ was the terminology that needed to be used when people described having their hair ripped out by the root on the most sensitive parts of one¡¯s body. I truly felt bad for the technician that was trying her hardest to keep me quiet and still. I was pretty sure that the pain associated with waxing had to be up there close to childbirth with no drugs. At one point, I¡¯m pretty sure everyone in the building heard my pleas for her to stop, but she ignored my requests and just kept on manhandling my vagina and ass. What seemed like hours later, she announced she was finished and that I should come back every two to four weeks for maintenance. Did she not remember that only moments earlier I was frantically trying to escape her grasp and screaming obscenities that would make a sailor blush? Words that I was pretty sure had never passed through my lips before. I just replied with an ¡°okay,¡± put my robe back on, and allowed her to me lead me down the hall to another room where an elderly woman was waiting for me.


    ¡°Hi Scarlett, I¡¯m Joan and I¡¯m going to be your massage therapist today,¡± she said as I sheepishly entered the room.


    ¡°Hi Joan, please tell me you aren¡¯t going to hurt me,¡± I replied.


    Her hearty laugh filled the room and helped relax me a bit. I also noticed this room was much different than the first one I had been in. Instead of bright, cold, and sterile, Joan¡¯s room was dimly lit with instrumental music lightly playing in the background and an aroma of lavender and eucalyptus teased my nostrils. It was serene and tranquil, and I found it very soothing.


    ¡°No sweetie, I¡¯m not going to hurt you. I hope to do just the opposite of that. Let¡¯s get you out of that robe and help you forget the torture that Tina just put you through,¡± she chuckled.


    ¡°Tina? That¡¯s her name? I was convinced her name was Olga and her second job was a Dom at the local BDSM club.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to let her know that she has options in case her job here ever falls through,¡± Joan snickered. ¡°Now hop up on the table on your belly, face in that donut looking pillow, and arms by your side.¡±


    The hour long massage with Joan was pure bliss. I¡¯m pretty sure at one point I had fallen asleep and started drooling on myself. After explaining to Joan that it was my first time, she did an excellent job of making me feel at ease and relaxed. I was amazed at the way her hands made my body feel ~ it was incredible, like nothing I¡¯d ever experienced before, not sexual in any way but oh so satisfying. Now that was something I would willingly come back for every two to four weeks. Before I knew it, she was patting my arm, telling me the hour was up, and I was due for my manicure and pedicure. I reluctantly got up off the table, put my robe back on, and followed her to my next appointment still in a sated haze.


    The manicure and pedicure were very much what I had imagined they would be, not as soothing as the massage but relaxing nonetheless. I chose a light pink color with a hint of glitter for both my hands and feet; I had never had color on my nails before so I was a little apprehensive to go with blood red or something wild like blue or green. From the nail room, I ventured to the hair and makeup area of the salon and knew this is where the true makeover would occur. I had always worn my medium brown hair the exact same way since I was a kid - long, straight, all one length, and normally in a bun. I was worried sick about what they were going to do with my hair, I wasn¡¯t sure if I was ready for a drastic change quite yet. As I sat in the chair and waited for my stylist, I was startled when a young Asian man walked up behind me.


    ¡°Hi there, Scarlett. How are you enjoying your day so far?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Well it started off a little rough, but it¡¯s been wonderful ever since. Thank you for asking,¡± I replied.


    ¡°Good. I¡¯m Nathan and I¡¯m going to be doing your hair today.¡±


    What? A male hair stylist? I mean I knew there were male hair stylists, I just didn¡¯t think I¡¯d have one working on me. It took me a minute to process the information and I guess I did little to hide the shock on my face.


    ¡°Its okay, hun, I¡¯m not going to bite you. Hell, I won¡¯t even hit on ya¡­ girls really aren¡¯t my thing,¡± he sniggered.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯ve never had anyone except my mom cut my hair before so this is all really new for me,¡± I answered.


    ¡°You¡¯ve never been to a professional hair stylist before? Are you serious? How old are you?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m eighteen, and no, everything I¡¯m having done to me today is a first. My parents were a little strict when I was growing up.¡±


    ¡°OMG, you have no idea what you¡¯ve been missing sweet girl. What kind of crazy parents do you have anyways?¡±


    ¡°Well crazy would be an understatement, but none of that matters any more. As of yesterday, I am free, I moved out¡­ so here I am. You think you can assist me with my mini-makeover? I¡¯m going to my very first party tonight, then starting college on Tuesday and I need more than a little help,¡± I said.


    ¡°Of course I can. Just you wait until you see what Uncle Nathan can do for you¡­ just you wait,¡± he said with a comforting smile on his face. ¡°Now, lets see what we have to work with. Take that bun out while I grab some things over here.¡±


    He walked across the room to another station and grabbed a couple of bottles and combs only to come back behind me and stare at me in the mirror with his mouth wide open. I had taken my hair down and let it fall down the back of the chair and I guess he wasn¡¯t prepared for how much hair he was going to be working with. Without saying another word, he walked away again and came back with two other women.


    The three of them inspected me like I was an animal on exhibit at the zoo, occasionally picking up sections of my hair and then dropping it so it draped over the back of the chair.


    ¡°Ummm¡­ is there a problem?¡± I asked, feeling more than a little uneasy at their gawking.


    ¡°No, I just had to show them how beautiful your hair is. It¡¯s so long and healthy-it¡¯s unbelievable really,¡± Nathan responded with his warm smile and cocked his head to the side. ¡°Did you have any ideas about what you would like to do with it? Color? Cut? Style?¡±


    ¡°Not really, I was hoping that I could just leave it in your hands, since you are the professional. I just need to keep it long enough to pull it back in a ponytail for days I don¡¯t feel like fixing it or for when I dance.¡±

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    Nathan simply nodded and then the three of them began discussing colors and other things that had numbers and letters that sounded like gibberish to me. Hoping to ease some of my anxiety, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and said a little prayer. I then let Nathan do his thing.


    While he worked on my hair, he kept my back to the mirror so I couldn¡¯t see his progress. He told me he wanted it to be a big surprise at the end. I took a huge leap of faith and trusted him to work some magic. Nathan asked me all kinds of questions about my life as he worked, questions about my past, the present, and my hopes for the future. I told him about my childhood, my teenage years and lack of a social life, about the fight with my parents, and about how nervous I was to join the rest of ¡°normal¡± society. He was a great listener, asked thought-provoking questions, and seemed to be truly interested in my story. My time with Nathan ended up being just as much a therapy session as it was a hair appointment.Advertisement


    After about an hour of I¡¯m not sure what he was doing, Nathan said it was time for the big reveal. I could tell by the wide smile on his face that he was extremely pleased with the outcome. I could feel the nerves growing in my stomach seconds before he spun me around to look at myself in the mirror. And when he finally did, I stared at my reflection not sure whether to laugh or cry.


    ¡°I¡­ I¡­ I ¡­¡± I was unable to speak as my eyes filled with tears.


    ¡°Don¡¯t cry, Scarlett, sweetheart. I hope you like it. You do like it, don¡¯t you?¡± he asked in anticipation.


    ¡°I love it. It¡¯s incredible,¡± I whispered, afraid if I said anything else the tears would let loose down my cheeks. I was shocked, stunned, flabbergasted at the image staring back at me in the mirror.


    ¡°So you can see that I left quite a bit of length so it wouldn¡¯t be such a drastic change for you,¡± Nathan explained as he turned the chair around and handed me a small mirror so that I could see the back of my hair in the larger one. ¡°The longest layers hit your back right about your bra strap, and I¡¯ve added some shorter layers to give it a little shape and body. For your color, I added both highlights and lowlights, which really bring out your beautiful tan and those big, beautiful brown eyes. It¡¯s a little lighter here around your face,¡± he continued. ¡°And this should be very easy for you to style - all you will need is a large round brush and a hair dryer.¡±


    I sat there frozen, afraid if I moved that it would go back to the way it was. I was in awe, I had no idea that my hair could look so good. I loved the lighter highlights that framed my face; they were the perfect shade to compliment the warm rich chestnut brown that was now my base color; a major improvement to the drab, lackluster brown it was before.


    ¡°Well now that you are looking absolutely amazing, if I do say so myself, let¡¯s get Becky over here to teach you about makeup application. And then you will be ready to break all the boys hearts at that party tonight,¡± Nathan said.


    ¡°Thank you so much, Nathan. I couldn¡¯t be happier!¡± I exclaimed and jumped up to give him a hug.


    ¡°No worries beautiful. Just come back to see me every six to eight weeks so we can keep you looking fabulous,¡± he said returning the hug.


    I sat and waited for only a few minutes when a middle-aged brunette, who I assumed was Becky, joined me at the chair.


    ¡°Now I hear that I have a makeup virgin over here, is that correct?¡± she asked as she walked up dragging a cart with her full of makeup.


    ¡°What you hear is correct,¡± I replied. ¡°I¡¯m most definitely a ¡®makeup virgin.¡¯ I have only worn stage makeup for dance recitals and music performances, and even then someone else applied it for me.¡±


    Much like Nathan, Becky talked through most of my appointment. However, she spent most of the time explaining to me how to apply the makeup, and how to create different looks for daytime, going out, formal events, etc¡­ It was so much information that I¡¯m sure I only retained half of it, but I knew that I¡¯d have Evie around to help me.


    Just as Becky was finishing up and putting together a kit for me to take home, Evie entered the room and stopped mid-step when she saw me.


    ¡°Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?¡± she exclaimed. She then ran to me, picked me up, and twirled me around. ¡°You look absolutely stunning. I am so jealous¡­ I knew you were beautiful, but Sam¡­ wow. You are drop dead gorgeous.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Evie. Thank you so much for bringing me here. I feel amazing. I really don¡¯t believe it yet. I keep looking at myself in the mirror trying to figure out if it¡¯s really me,¡± I said trying not to cry again so I wouldn¡¯t mess up my makeup.


    ¡°It is really you, and I could stand here all day and look at you too, but we need to get going so we still have a few hours to take you shopping,¡± Evie said as she pulled me towards the front desk to check out.


    After we grabbed a bite to eat, we hit the shops to tackle the issue of my clothesless closet. I knew that it would take me awhile to build up a full wardrobe, but for now I needed to get the basics. Several hours and dozens of stores later, we were both exhausted but I felt giddy with the bags and bags of goodies in the backseat, especially the ones from Victoria¡¯s Secret. I had never owned lacy, seductive bras and panties before, my mom only bought me plain white cotton undergarments. However, I had read countless books where the girl would end up in an unplanned sexual encounter only to be embarrassed by her old-lady panties. So to alleviate that possible humiliation, I vowed to only own and wear sexy panties from that point forward. I figured I was going to be awkward enough whenever I did finally find myself in a situation that someone saw me without my clothes on, so hopefully I would look good enough in my lingerie to keep their attention off my ineptness.


    We finally returned to our dorm room a little after seven which gave us a couple of hours to recharge before the party. As I was putting away my purchases, Evie came into my room and sat on my bed.


    ¡°So for tonight¡­ are we still going to do our book boyfriend challenge?¡± she asked trying to hide the hopefulness in her voice.


    ¡°Of course, why wouldn¡¯t we?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I was just making sure you weren¡¯t haven¡¯t second thoughts¡­ that you just didn¡¯t agree last night because you had been drinking,¡± she said. ¡°But yay, I¡¯m glad you still want to do this¡­ I think it¡¯s going to be a fun way for us to meet new people. Since this is our first time, I want you to pick the ¡°type¡± we are hunting tonight¡­ whatever you will be most comfortable with.¡±


    ¡°Hunting, Evie? Really?¡± I exclaimed.


    ¡°Yes, hunting, Sam. Guys are prey that you hunt, capture, and slaughter. If you don¡¯t have this mindset, you will become the prey¡­ I¡¯ve been the prey once, and I¡¯ll be damned if I let it happen again,¡± she retorted a little too seriously.


    ¡°Okay, whatever, a little dramatic don¡¯t you think?¡± I didn¡¯t want to argue with her. The day had been too perfect to ruin it with something so silly, so I decided to drop it and move on. ¡°Okay, then to make it easy tonight let¡¯s do the ¡®Mr. All-American,¡¯ the college frat boy, since we are going to be at a college party. There should be plenty of those to choose from, right?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Sounds perfect, now let¡¯s get dressed to kill,¡± she grinned as she walked out of my room.


    ¡°Sure thing¡­ just let me get out my sexy camouflage dress,¡± I called after her shaking my head.


    Choosing my outfit for the evening was more difficult than I had anticipated. I knew I was overthinking the whole thing, but this was a big deal¡­well, at least to me it was. I didn¡¯t want to look like I tried too hard, or like I was too fixed up, I just wanted to blend in... Okay, maybe I wanted to do a little more than blend in. Evie said the party was going to be casual, to wear something cute and flirty but comfortable. Cute and flirty but comfortable, huh? Yoga pants were my idea of comfortable, but I guessed that wasn¡¯t what she had in mind. After trying on everything I had bought earlier in the day, I finally opted for a denim mini skirt, layered chocolate brown and light pink tank tops that snugly hugged my C-cup breasts, and my distressed brown cowboy boots. Unless I was wearing sneakers for a physical activity, my shoe selection consisted of flip flops and one pair of boots. I owned at least twenty different pairs of flip flops in every possible color which I usually wore during the day and with jeans and shorts. My boots were my ¡°dress-up¡± shoe, usually paired with skirts and dresses. I quickly touched up my hair and makeup, and then stared at my reflection in the mirror. It was show time. For so many years, I had dreamed what it would be like to get to do this¡­ to do things that most teenagers did, and the time had finally come. I said a short prayer asking God to keep us safe and requesting he not let me make a complete ass of myself. I was pretty sure he chuckled at this one, we both knew that was bound to happen at some point in the night. Minutes later, Evie and I were in her car on our way to the beginning of the rest of my life.


    Chapter 3


    The drive to Evie¡¯s cousin Jess¡¯ house was quick, only fifteen minutes from our dorm. Unlike Evie and I, Jess attended the University of St. Thomas, another college in the Houston area. I had met Jess many times before. She had spent a week each summer at Evie¡¯s for as long as I could remember, and her and her parents were frequent guests there for holidays, as well. I had always liked Jess, she could be a little loud and obnoxious at times, but for the most part I thought she was hilarious. She used to tell us stories about the mischievous things her and her friends would do without getting caught. Both Evie and I had always looked up to her a bit being two years older than us. She knew about my parents¡¯ issues and had always told me if I ran away, I could stay with her and her family in Houston. Of course I never did, but it was so sweet of her to even offer.


    The plan for the night was to leave Evie¡¯s car at Jess¡¯ house, an off-campus rental where she lived with two other roommates. All five of us were going to walk to the party together which supposedly was just a block or two away from their house. Afterwards, Evie and I were going to crash in Jess¡¯ room for the night. That way we wouldn¡¯t have to drive late and no one would have to pass on the festivities to be the designated driver. I also felt better about going as a large group so I would have several people to stay close to in case I freaked out or something.


    We pulled into the driveway of a cute one-story red brick home. You could tell that it was an older home, but it had been well maintained and there was definite curb appeal. Before we even made it out of the car, Jess had flung open the front door and was bouncing down the front steps to greet us in a hug.


    ¡°Evie! Scarlett! I¡¯m so excited y¡¯all are here!¡± she squealed.


    ¡°Did you have any problems finding the place? How do you like Houston? Did y¡¯all get settled in?¡± she continued without taking a breath. She then turned to face me and said, ¡°Wow! You look¡­ different¡­ incredible actually.¡±


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I said sheepishly, still unsure about the ¡°new¡± me. She was looking me over like she was trying to figure out everything that was different.

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    Thankfully getting the attention off of me, Evie answered her questions, ¡°No, we didn¡¯t have any problems finding the place. So far we are loving Houston. And we are somewhat settled in. We still need to go to the grocery store and get Scarlett some more clothes, but we will get that taken care of on Monday before classes start.¡±


    Jess then turned towards the front door and ushered us inside. ¡°Come in, come in. Welcome to my humble home.¡±Advertisement


    The interior of the home was like walking into an Ikea showroom. It was modern but inviting, and the perfect combination of earth tones and bright funky colors were used which made the space fun as well as sophisticated. A thin girl with short blonde hair was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching tv when we walked in.


    ¡°Evie, Scarlett, this is one of my roommates, Meg Scott. Meg and I have been roommates since our freshman year,¡± Jess introduced us. She then turned to Meg and said, ¡°I¡¯ll bet you¡¯ll never guess which one is my cousin,¡± alluding to the fact Jess and Evie looked so much alike. They could easily pass for sisters with their super straight black hair that they both wore shoulder length, with heavy bangs, and their shared olive complexion.


    ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet both of you,¡± Meg smiled warmly at us without getting up, as we continued further into the living room.


    ¡°Ash will be out in a bit. We are forever waiting on Ash,¡± Jess said shaking her head playfully. ¡°Please make yourselves at home. That¡¯s my room over there,¡± she continued while pointing to a door off the living room. ¡°You can throw your overnight bags and purses on my bed or in my closet. Meg and Ash¡¯s rooms are down the hall. There¡¯s a bathroom en suite in my room and another down the hall to the right.¡±


    Evie and I put our things on Jess¡¯ bed and then went back out to the living area and sat on the couch opposite from Meg.


    ¡°Can I grab y¡¯all a beer while we wait?¡± Jess asked as she walked across the room to where I assumed the kitchen was.


    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± I answered. My stomach was tightened into a hard knot from nerves and anxiety and I was sure if I tried to eat or drink anything, I would puke.


    ¡°Scarlett maybe a drink before we go would help calm your nerves a bit,¡± Evie offered in a somewhat whisper. I gave her a warning look to tell her not to push me on this.


    ¡°What are you nervous about Scarlett?¡± Meg asked nosily.


    ¡°Scarlett has never been to a party before,¡± Evie answered for me.


    Meg looked at me confused, ¡°You mean a college party? It¡¯s really no big deal, not much different than high school parties to be honest. Where we are going tonight is going to be extremely laid back. No crazy people running around like idiots or anything.¡±


    Jess yelled from the kitchen as if I was unable to respond myself, ¡°No Meg, she has never been to a party¡­ period. Her parents were crazy strict and didn¡¯t allow her to have a social life, she¡¯s never been to a party, never been on a date¡­ nothing.¡±


    Meg scrunched her pixie face up and looked at me, ¡°Sorry, that totally sucks.¡±


    Before I could confirm the extreme level of suckiness, a male voice called out, ¡°What¡¯s this I hear about never having been on a date or to a party?¡±


    Confused by the sound, I whipped my head around only to see a gorgeous guy emerge from the hallway. My mouth fell open as the breath escaped my lungs. He stood what I guessed to be close to six feet tall with a lean but muscular build. His long dirty blonde hair looked as if he had just run his fingers through it and the sexy five o¡¯clock shadow on his face made me want to feel the scruffiness under my hand. He was dressed in a blue guayabera shirt paired with khaki cargo shorts and brown flip flops. He looked as if he had stepped directly out of a Hurley magazine ad with his deeply tanned skin and surfer-boy threads. However, nothing could have prepared me for the reaction my body had when I looked into his eyes. It was like looking into the waters of the Caribbean Sea, with a sparkle that bounced back and forth between the blue and green. I was captivated. My heart was beating so hard that I was afraid he could see the pulse in my neck from across the room. I remember thinking if he was a vampire, I was sure to be dead in a matter of moments, and surprisingly, I was okay with that as long as he was the one to do it. I really need to stop reading so many paranormal romances.


    ¡°It¡¯s about time Ash, my God! Come meet my cousin Evie and her roommate, Scarlett. Hurry up!¡± Jess shouted again from the kitchen.


    Startled, I quickly broke the stare and turned around to face Evie on the couch who cocked one eyebrow up at me and had a questioning look on her face. Before I had a chance to analyze what had just happened, Jess came around the corner with a couple of beers and guided Ash towards the couch where we sat.


    ¡°We were talking about Scarlett here, and the fact that she¡¯s lived an extremely sheltered life. Her parents were a tiny bit obsessive and controlling, so they sent her to an all-girl private school since kindergarten and never allowed her to go out - no parties and especially no dates. So tonight will be her very first party - ever,¡± Jess explained to Ash as they stood in front of us and she handed both Evie and I a beer. Once again she spoke as if I wasn¡¯t capable or if I wasn¡¯t there at all. I wanted nothing more than to sink into the cushions on the couch and escape the embarrassment of the conversation.


    Ash didn¡¯t respond to Jess, but instead held his hand out to Evie. When she shook his hand he said, ¡°Evie, I presume? I¡¯m Ashton Walker or Ash, if you prefer. It is so nice to finally meet you.¡± Then I saw him smile. Oh. My. God. The deep dimples that appeared on both sides of his face turned my insides to mush. I always knew I had a weakness for dimples, I mean, didn¡¯t every female? There was just something about them that screamed youth and playfulness and innocent mischief, and when placed on a handsome face accompanied by hard, masculine features, they were undeniably sexy and downright irresistible.


    ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you too, Ash,¡± Evie replied with a smile. He then turned to me, picked my free hand up off of my leg, and held it in his. I was frozen.


    ¡°Scarlett, it¡¯s a pleasure to meet you as well. I can see why your parents were hesitant about letting you out of their sight,¡± he said. ¡°If I had a daughter as stunning as you, I wouldn¡¯t let her leave the house either.¡± I blushed furiously. Then without breaking eye contact, he pulled my hand to his mouth. But instead of kissing the top of my hand in a gentlemanly manner as I anticipated, he lightly pressed his lips against the inside of my wrist, where the pounding of my heartbeat was about to break through the thin skin. Well if he is a vampire, it¡¯s about to be over for me. Instead of taking a bite out of my fragile skin, he then reached his other hand to my mouth and pulled my lip free of my bite. I was done for. His touch ignited a fire inside of me that rolled throughout my body, spreading a liquid warmth from my head to my toes, with the hottest embers settling directly between my thighs. My joke from the day before about spontaneously combusting suddenly did not seem too far out of the realm of possibilities. Who was this guy?


    ¡°Down boy!¡± Jess joked as she playfully slapped Ash on the shoulder and broke our gaze at one another. He then released my hand and lip and took a step back from the couch. I wanted to argue that he didn¡¯t need to get down, or better yet, how much I would like him to go down, but instead I just sat there in a haze and continued to stare at Ash. Evie nudged my leg breaking me from my trance, and I then realized that I had not yet said a word to him.


    ¡°Nice to meet you too,¡± I managed to squeak out. I was suddenly extremely thirsty and took a large gulp of the beer Jess had handed me. The taste was awful, worse than I had imagined it would be, but I reluctantly swallowed it, not wanting to make more of a spectacle of myself than I already had.


    ¡°Now Ash, I expect you to be on your best behavior around Evie and Scarlett, at least for tonight while they get used to you. And they are both off-limits to your dirty paws and overused dick, do you understand me?¡± Jess said somewhat teasingly, but the stern warning in her voice was evident. She turned towards Evie and me, ¡°Ash here has mastered the art of charming the birds out of the trees and girls right out of their panties. He¡¯s our resident playboy, so pay no attention to him if there¡¯s a different bimbo on his arm every time you see him.¡± She wrapped her arm around his waist and smirked, ¡°It¡¯s a good thing I¡¯ve known him since second grade and know that he truly is a decent human being, or I wouldn¡¯t be able to stand his usual arrogant ass.¡±


    The scowl that left his face as quickly as it appeared at Jess¡¯ words didn¡¯t go unnoticed by me, and he turned to face her, ¡°Don¡¯t be jealous because I haven¡¯t shared any of this pleasure-inducing body with you Jess,¡± he taunted.


    ¡°You are disgusting, you know that right? I know where that body¡¯s been,¡± Jess sneered at him.


    Meg, who remained quiet up until this point, said from across the room while she stood up, ¡°If you two are finished bickering, can we please go to Jacob and Nicholas¡¯s now? I didn¡¯t get dressed up to sit in this room all night. I¡¯ve got a hot little cheerleader waiting for me there.¡±


    I was completely confused, and as usual, I did a poor job of hiding the emotions on my face because Jess looked at me and said, ¡°Meg¡¯s a lesbian. She¡¯s been trying to corrupt this poor girl since last semester, and I think she may have finally slithered her way in somehow.¡±


    Meg¡¯s lips curled up in a mischievous grin and she seductively licked her lips. ¡°Oh, I plan to slither myself in several places of hers if she¡¯ll let me. Now let¡¯s go!¡±


    With all of us laughing at Meg¡¯s last comment and exaggerated facial expressions, we headed out the door. Thankful for the opportunity to get some fresh air as we walked, I knew I needed to gather my thoughts and regain my composure after the intense introduction to Ash. I wasn¡¯t sure exactly what had happened, if anything at all, but I needed to get my hormones in check quickly. I couldn¡¯t allow my brain or my body to overreact like that every time I was introduced to a good-looking guy or I was going to be in my big trouble.


    Meg and Ash walked a few feet in front of us, lost in their own conversation, while Jess gave Evie and me the quick rundown on a few of the people that would be at the party.


    ¡°The party is at Jacob and Nicholas¡¯ house. Ash met them last year in some soccer class. We all went out for drinks one night, Jacob and I hit it off and started dating, and shortly after, the five of us just ended up hanging out all the time,¡± she explained. ¡°All of us are about to start our third year at UST.¡±


    ¡°Vicki, Nicholas¡¯ sister, is a year behind us and she is the cheerleader Meg¡¯s been lusting after. You¡¯ll recognize her immediately because she looks like a twelve year old, female version of Nicholas,¡± Jess said loud enough for Meg to hear.


    ¡°No she doesn¡¯t,¡± Meg argued without even turning around. ¡°She¡¯s just petite¡­ she¡¯s hot and you know it.¡±


    Jess didn¡¯t respond directly to Meg but instead turned to me and said mockingly, ¡°Not only is Meg a lesbian, but she may also be a pedophile. You are at least eighteen right, Scarlett?¡±

 Page 6

    I giggled and nodded.


    ¡°Good, then you should be safe from any unwanted advances from my roommate,¡± she teased.Advertisement


    Without breaking stride, Meg then turned around and looked at me. ¡°Being of age isn¡¯t going to save you from me sweet thing. Not only do you have an angelic face and a hot ass body, but you¡¯ve got a pussy that has never been tainted by a man¡¯s cock, and oh how¡¯d I love to know what that innocence tastes like.¡± She winked at me and turned back around. ¡°Isn¡¯t that right, Ash? Can you imagine how sweet she tastes?¡±


    My face burned with mortification, and I wasn¡¯t sure how I should respond to Meg¡¯s comments, so I didn¡¯t. I knew part of what she said had been for dramatic effect, to get Jess to shut up about Vicki; however, for a brief moment, I found myself wondering if she really was attracted to me¡­ and why my stomach fluttered when I thought about kissing her. What was wrong with me? Did Evie slip me some women¡¯s Viagra tonight or something?¡­ Before I could contemplate the thought any further, Ash turned around and gave me an awkward, uncomfortable half smile. And then it all made sense.


    I was sure that the only reason Ash had acted the way he did towards me was because I was a virgin¡­ the conquest of all conquests for guys, right? Jess had just told him about my not dating and strict parents. I was such an idiot. Jess had made it clear that he was basically a man-whore, and he never denied it. She even went as far as telling him to leave me alone because she knew exactly what he would do. He was probably just toying with me, knowing I would easily fall under his spell of compliments and flirtatious gestures, trying to see how quickly he could get in my pants. I was so pissed at myself for thinking there was some kind of spark between us. But he was just a master manipulator, an experienced player, and I immediately knew it would serve my best interests to stay as far away from Ash as possible. I had completely overreacted to, LITERALLY, the first guy I had been introduced to.


    The remainder of the walk, Jess continued to ramble on about other people we would meet ~ who was dating who, who had dated who, who to stay away from, etc¡­ I tuned her out and instead spent the time silently brooding over my own na?vet¨¦ and gullibility. When we turned off the sidewalk to walk up to the house where the party was, Evie grabbed my arm and pulled me back away from the others.


    ¡°Are you okay? What the hell happened back at the house?¡± she asked with genuine concern.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine¡­ I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about, nothing happened¡­ Everything is just great, couldn¡¯t be better,¡± I lied with forced enthusiasm.


    She gave me the I-don¡¯t-believe-a-word-you-are-saying look, but didn¡¯t press me. ¡°Okay, but any time consider using you¡¯re ready to leave, just let me know.¡±


    I nodded in response. I didn¡¯t want to talk about it, not then, not ever.


    ¡°Now come on, let¡¯s have some fun, we have some boys to meet! Oh, and don¡¯t forget, tonight is preppy college boy night not hot surfer playboy night¡­ you have to stick to the rules or it doesn¡¯t count,¡± she said light heartedly as she grabbed my hand and led me up to the front porch.


    Chapter 4


    ¡°There y¡¯all are! I turned around to introduce you to someone and you were gone,¡± Jess exclaimed as we found her waiting for us outside the front door.


    ¡°Sorry, we had to make a quick stop, but we are good now,¡± Evie responded, not giving her any additional details of our conversation. ¡°Lead the way, Cuz.¡±


    We followed Jess into the house, and the scene that greeted me was very much what I had expected it to be. The furniture in the living room had all been pushed up against the walls, leaving an open space for dancing in the middle. There were a handful of people moving their bodies in harmony to The Killers song that blared from the iPod player in the corner, but most people were either lounging on the couches or standing around, drinking and talking. Meg and Ash were nowhere in sight. We followed Jess closely as we wove in between other party-goers and entered the kitchen. Her eyes immediately lit up as she saw a dark-haired cutie standing by the island. She snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He jumped at the contact but when he spun around to see her, a huge smile spread across his face. An unexpected twinge of jealousy ran through me, as the need to feel wanted and loved emerged, but I quickly dismissed it.


    After we each took a shot of tequila to ¡°get the blood flowing¡± as Jess recommended, we grabbed a beer and the introductions began. Jess pulled Evie and I from one group of people to the next, I was overwhelmed by all of the new faces and names, knowing I would never remember any of them. I smiled, shook hands, I even got a few hugs from some guys that were obviously trying to press themselves against my breasts. I didn¡¯t mind though, I enjoyed the attention and even contemplated a couple of them for my ¡°nightly prey¡± as Evie had so eloquently put it. I tried to keep myself from looking for Ash¡¯s whereabouts, but failed miserably. However, when the back door opened, and several people shuffled in from the back porch, I realized that when Ash was in the same room with me, I would never need to look for him, I could feel his presence. I turned around to see him flanked by two beautiful blondes. He guided the one in front of him into the kitchen with his hand at the small of her back, while the one behind him tagged along, her fingers threaded through his belt loops. The three of them walked over to the island and he grabbed three beers from the cooler. I didn¡¯t want to stare at them, but for the life of me, I just couldn¡¯t stop myself.


    ¡°I warned you, didn¡¯t I?¡± Jess¡¯ voice interrupted my trance but I continued to watch him. ¡°That¡¯s just Ash¡­ he¡¯s always been that way. I¡¯m not sure he¡¯ll ever find a girl that will make him settle down. I just don¡¯t think he¡¯s wired that way, ya know?¡± Without waiting for an answer, she bounced off to say hi to some other people, leaving me alone with my unanswered questions.


    Almost as if he could sense us talking about him from across the room, he looked up at me and our eyes locked. Again, I felt something pass between us. I wasn¡¯t sure what it was, or if I was just imagining it on my end, but Ash definitely made my body feel things I wasn¡¯t quite prepared for. Then he cocked his head to the side and gave me that panty-dropping, dimple-showing smile. I knew he was only interested in me for one thing, and I¡¯d be damned if I was going to give it to him. I scowled and broke the gaze. I then turned my attention to the two girls that still stood on either side of him. They were both looking up at him with admiration and adoration, as if he was some sort of sex god. I laughed at the pathetic sight they were and then looked back at Ash. As if he knew exactly what I thought about him and his entourage, he dropped the smile and then what I thought was a look of guilt washed across his face. I wasn¡¯t sure what his deal was(,) but I didn¡¯t need to spend any more time thinking about Ash or his dubious expressions and intentions. I rolled my eyes and turned to go find Evie. As I walked towards the back door, I couldn¡¯t help but laugh out loud as Taylor Swift sang about knowing trouble when it walked in the room. The timing could not have been more appropriate. Unable to resist the temptation to sneak one last glance at him; I turned around and ran straight into a hard chest and stumbled backwards.


    ¡°Oh, excuse me, I¡¯m so sorry,¡± I apologized as I tried to catch my balance. ¡°I wasn¡¯t watching where I was going.¡±


    The guy I nearly ran over held me by both shoulders to steady me and I looked up into his face to see if he was someone I had been introduced to earlier in the night, but immediately knew I hadn¡¯t. I would never forget a face like that. He was¡­ wow.


    ¡°No worries, little lady. Are you okay?¡± he asked not letting go of my arms.


    I nodded and bit my lower lip, embarrassed by my clumsiness. I wasn¡¯t sure who this guy was, but he could give Ash a run for his money in the appearance department. He looked like an Abercrombie model. What was up with all of the drop-dead gorgeous guys around here? His blonde hair was styled in a messy, spiky kind of do. His eyes were a deep, dark blue and he donned a perfectly straight smile. Dressed in a striped polo, khaki shorts, and tan deck shoes, he was the image you would find in the dictionary under ¡°All-American male,¡± and he was the perfect preppy college boy to help me win tonight¡¯s contest and forget all about Ash Walker.


    ¡°You¡¯re new around here, I¡¯ve never seen you before. Are you going to be a freshman at St. Thomas?¡± he asked in a deep voice with a hint of a Southern drawl .


    ¡°No¡­ I mean yes¡­ I mean¡­¡± I stammered, feeling my face flush as I continued to embarrass myself. Taking a deep breath, I tried again to answer his questions. ¡°What I meant to say was yes I¡¯m new around here, and yes I¡¯m going to be a freshman, but not at St. Thomas. I¡¯m a student at Rice. I¡¯m just here with my roommate¡¯s cousin, Jess Johnson.¡±


    ¡°Oh, well, do you have a name or should I just call you ¡®Jess¡¯ cousin¡¯s roommate?¡¯¡± he teased playfully.


    ¡°I¡¯m Scarlett, Scarlett MacGregor,¡± I smiled as I held my hand out towards him. As a rush of confidence flooded through me, I flirted back, ¡°So do you have a name or should I just call you ¡®guy who likes to flirt with all of the new girls?¡¯¡±


    ¡°Touch¨¦, Miss Scarlett. You¡¯re not only beautiful but witty,¡± he said while still holding onto my hand. ¡°I¡¯m Dylan Stephens and it truly is a pleasure to meet you. Would you like to join me outside for some fresh air?¡±


    His smile made my knees weak and my heart rate increase; I wanted to learn more about this Dylan Stephens - like how his lips tasted on mine(,) and how his hands felt on my body. Just as I was about to agree, I felt someone walk up behind me and place their hand on my shoulder.


    ¡°There you are Scarlett, I¡¯ve been looking everywhere for you.¡± Ash said in his husky voice. ¡°I¡¯m getting ready to start playing and I know you had said you wanted to hang around for it.¡±


    I had no idea what he thought I wanted to hang around and listen to him do, but I knew exactly what he was doing - coming between Dylan and me. Without turning around, I said in a shitty tone, ¡°You appear to have your hands full tonight, so instead I think I¡¯ll grab some fresh air with my new friend Dylan here. Enjoy your playing.¡± And with that, I grabbed Dylan¡¯s hand and led him through the back door.


    Once we found a secluded area on the porch to sit and talk, Dylan asked, ¡°Do I even want to know what that was all about?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not really sure,¡± I admitted. ¡°I met Ash over at their house right before we came here tonight. I don¡¯t know, he just rubs me the wrong way and I think it pisses him off that I¡¯m not falling all over myself trying to hook up with him.¡± Okay, so that was partially true.


    ¡°You just met him tonight? And he¡¯s acting like that?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, just a couple of hours ago or so¡­ why? Should I be worried about something?¡±


    ¡°No, nothing to be concerned with. It¡¯s just not like Ash to get all territorial and shit¡­. He usually doesn¡¯t care what his hookups do or who they talk to¡­just kind of weird,¡± he said.

 Page 7

    I didn¡¯t want to talk about Ash and his hookups, or Ash and me, or anything to do with Ash. I just didn¡¯t want to think about him anymore.


    ¡°Look, I¡¯m not one of Ash¡¯s hookups and never will be, so you don¡¯t need to worry about that. I came out here to get to know you better, so can we please stop talking about him?¡±Advertisement


    Dylan and I spent the next hour or so talking and flirting with one another. We found we had quite a bit in common, we enjoyed similar music, we both loved watching old Saturday Night Live reruns, and we wanted to travel to many of the same places. He was an English major and wanted to go into editing, which of course with my love of all things books, interested me greatly. We had a wonderful time, Dylan was funny and he made me feel relaxed and comfortable. And the best part was I didn¡¯t think about Ash one time while we were outside.


    When we stood up to go back inside to refill our drinks, Dylan grabbed both of my hands in his and pulled me close to him. My chest was pressed against his and my entire body buzzed in anticipation. He released one hand and moved his finger under my chin, tilting my face up towards his. I looked into his desire-filled eyes and the butterflies in my stomach took flight. Leaning down oh-so-slowly, he lightly pressed his lips against mine, and then backed up as to gage my reaction, never taking his eyes off my mouth. I then moved my free hand around to the back of his neck and pulled his face back down to mine and kissed him with much more force. I felt his tongue tease against my bottom lip and I eagerly opened up to better taste him. I wasn¡¯t sure how long we stood there kissing, exploring each other¡¯s mouths with our tongues.


    ¡°Ummm¡­ I hate to interrupt, but I was going to see if you wanted to come inside for an acoustic session. Ash was going to play and I thought you might enjoy it.¡± I turned to see Evie standing there with a grin spread from one ear to the other. ¡°But if you¡¯re busy, that¡¯s cool.¡±


    ¡°No, no, it¡¯s fine. We were just coming inside anyways. I need a glass of water,¡± I said as I turned and walked towards her. The look on her face was priceless, she was beaming at me like a proud mom.


    ¡°Have you met Dylan?¡± I asked, trying to not sound like an equally giddy school girl.


    ¡°Yes, I think Jess introduced us earlier, but honestly, I¡¯ve met so many people tonight the names are all starting to run together,¡± she replied. ¡°It¡¯s good to meet you again, Dylan. I¡¯m Evie.¡± He smiled at her and shook her hand, ¡°You too, Evie, very nice to meet you.¡±


    We all went back in the house, grabbing drinks as we moved into the living room where everyone had gathered. The couches and chairs overflowed with bodies and the floor was almost full as well. Jess called out for us to join her, she had saved us some room. We made our way over to her and Jacob, trying to not step on anyone as we climbed through the people, and took our seats on the floor. As I scanned the room, I found Ash sitting in a chair by the fireplace with a guitar in his lap. I made the mistake of bringing my eyes to his and he was staring at me again. I looked away quickly and wished away the uneasy sensation he stirred inside of me. I glanced over at Dylan hoping he hadn¡¯t noticed Ash paying attention to me, but his eyes were locked on Ash. Abruptly, Dylan claimed he wasn¡¯t comfortable with how he was sitting and repositioned us so that his back was supported against the couch and I was nestled in between his legs, my back pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around my stomach and softly kissed the top of my head. I looked over at Evie and Jess, both of their faces were full of questions. They were questions I didn¡¯t know the answers to, so I just shrugged, smiled, and decided to make the best of it.


    ¡°So Ash, what are you going to play for us tonight?¡± asked bimbo #1 who was sitting on the floor by his feet. I didn¡¯t see bimbo #2 around so I thought that maybe she didn¡¯t make the ten p.m. cut list, but a few minutes later she joined her sister-in-sluttiness on the carpet.


    ¡°Because we have some new faces at the party tonight,¡± he looked up in the direction Evie and I were sitting, ¡°I thought we¡¯d do a little variety, mix it up a bit.¡±


    For all of my life books, music, and dance had been my only outlets, my only escape from my parents, and they were the things I felt most passionate about. I loved to watch live music, to see the emotion and passion on someone¡¯s fingers, on their lips¡­ it was awe-inspiring to me. I couldn¡¯t wait to hear Ash play and sing, but at the same time I was scared shitless of the feelings it would evoke in me. I had assumed he would be good. I was pretty sure he was good at just about everything he did; he was just one of those guys. However, nothing could have prepared me for how amazingly talented and incredibly sexy he was when he made music. It took every ounce of will in my body to not look at him while he performed. There was no doubt he was extraordinary; I looked around and everyone in that living room, both male and female, was completely mesmerized by Ash¡¯s voice and the music coming from his fingers. I could hear the sex dripping from his voice, radiating from the strings of the guitar.


    At times I could feel him looking at me, like he was singing to me, but I refused to turn in his direction. I was pretty sure that Dylan sensed it as well because several times when I knew Ash was staring, he would tighten his arms around me and nuzzle his face in my neck, leaving behind soft sweet kisses that made me tremble with desire.


    ¡°Alright, I¡¯m going to do one last song and then turn the guitar over to anyone else who wants to play,¡± Ash announced. ¡°Feel free to join me singing this one.¡±


    I released a huge breath of air that I had not even realized I was holding. One more song, I could get through one more song. Ash decided to close his set with ¡°Let¡¯s Get It On.¡± It was if he purposely picked that song to irk me or get under my skin. It felt like he was trying to make fun of me. Of course, everyone else in the room thought it was awesome, they screamed in approval as the opening line left his mouth and most of the room joined him in verse. I cringed and tried to block him out; I didn¡¯t want to give him the pleasure of knowing how he affected me, but I couldn¡¯t take it any longer. I didn¡¯t want to make a scene and walk out the room in the middle of the song, so instead I did the next best thing. I turned around in Dylan¡¯s lap, straddled his legs, and kissed him¡­ hard. And I didn¡¯t break away from his mouth until the song was over.


    Ash received a standing ovation from the intimate crowd and I saw him take an exaggerated bow through my peripheral vision. He then invited anyone else who wanted to play to come up.


    ¡°Do it, Sam. Come on,¡± Evie nudged me in the side.


    ¡°You play?¡± Dylan asked. Without lifting my head from his neck, I shook my head no.


    ¡°Oh yes she does, she¡¯s just being modest. She¡¯s really good.¡± Evie insisted.


    I really did NOT want to play. I was an emotional roller coaster from everything I was feeling about Ash and Dylan, a bit tipsy from several drinks, and was already uncomfortable with the number of strangers in the room. However, with Evie, Dylan, and Jess¡¯ prodding, soon our half of the room was chanting ¡°Scarlett! Scarlett!¡± I had never been so embarrassed in my life.


    When Ash realized that they were calling for me to go up, he held out the guitar towards me, ¡°By all means, Scarlett. Let¡¯s see what you can do. I can¡¯t wait to hear your rendition of Amazing Grace.¡± His voice was saturated in sarcasm. God he was an ass.


    Anger raged through me, partly due to his mocking of my innocence and his apparent doubt that I could play, but I was even more infuriated with myself for allowing him to repeatedly upset me. There was just something about him; in having known him for just a few hours, he had stirred feelings inside me that I didn¡¯t know I had. And it scared me to death.


    Fueled by my fury and the alcohol intake, I snatched the acoustic out of his hands and took the chair he had just occupied. I was reeling in my brain about what to play, I wanted to respond to Ash¡¯s not-so-cryptic musical messages with something just as witty. I decided just to sing songs about guys who were dicks, there were more than enough of those to choose from. They didn¡¯t have to relate to Ash particularly, but enough man-hating that he¡¯d get the point.


    ¡°Hello everyone,¡± I began nervously. ¡°I¡¯m Scarlett, a friend of Jess.¡¯ I¡¯m new here in Houston, just moved in yesterday so I want to thank you for showing me such a good time tonight. I hope you enjoy.¡±


    I took a deep breath and began with a song I was certain most everyone would recognize, Pat Benatar¡¯s ¡°Heartbreaker.¡± I felt a little shaky at first, but I refused to let my fears get the best of me. By the middle of the first chorus, I felt much more comfortable and then I really let it go. Many of the girls in the room joined me in singing the parts they knew, well it was more like screaming, but I loved it nonetheless because I knew they were having fun with it. I debated internally on whether or not to look at Ash when I sang. On one hand, I wanted him to be clear that this was indeed an answer to his earlier performance and I also secretly hoped that I could make him feel just a fraction of the frustration that he bestowed upon me, both in my mind and body. However, the other part of me knew that if I locked my eyes with his, there was a good chance that I¡¯d completely lose my train of thought and stop mid-song. I opted to play it safe and not throw any more fuel on the fire; he knew my song selection was no accident.


    I played a couple more songs that fit nicely in my guys-are-jerks-palooza before wrapping it up. ¡°Again, thanks for the hospitality,¡± I said before I began to play my final song for the night, ¡°You Oughta Know.¡± This was one of my favorite man-hater songs and I thought it was a perfect way to end. Even though I had never experienced the things written about in the song, the lyrics had always struck me as so raw, so real. I could feel the hurt¡­ the anger¡­ the bitterness caused by rejection and being replaced. It was my fear of all fears ~ putting myself out there for someone only to have them not want me in return. I guess that was true for most people, no one welcomed rejection.


    I pushed the psycho-self-analytic thoughts to the back of my head and focused on the song. The room was exceptionally quiet and all eyes were focused intently on me. I saw many faces light up as they recognized the song with the first few lines. There were several hoots and hollers when I seductively asked about giving blow jobs in cinemas; I was pretty sure Dylan was one of them. I had successfully kept myself from even glancing Ash¡¯s way for the entire time I had sung and played; however, I couldn¡¯t leave well enough alone. Midway through the second verse I looked over to where he was sitting and locked our eyes just in time to ask, ¡°Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?¡± His eyes darkened and I could feel the heat from his desire across the room. Immediately I turned away from him so that I could finish the song and not melt into a puddle of shameless lust.


    Relieved I had made it through the impromptu session and exhausted from the previous 48 hours, I told Evie I was ready to go back to the house. Jess and Ash decided to return home as well since it was a little past one o¡¯clock. Saying goodbye to Dylan was a little awkward with Ash standing a few feet away. I wasn¡¯t sure what had happened to Ash¡¯s friends from earlier, I had honestly expected at least one, if not both of them, to follow him to his bed, but neither were anywhere around. Dylan and I exchanged cell numbers and he brushed several light kisses across my lips before I walked away.

 Page 8

    Chapter 5


    When we got back to the house, Meg was sitting on the couch in her pajamas eating directly from a tub of ice cream.Advertisement


    ¡°Good, y¡¯all are back. I can go to sleep now,¡± she said as she stood up and went to put away the ice cream. She kissed all four of us on the cheek and said goodnight before she disappeared behind her bedroom door. I hadn¡¯t even realized she wasn¡¯t still at the party, I thought we had left her there.


    ¡°When did she get home and does she always wait up for you?¡± Evie asked laughing.


    ¡°Yeah, she¡¯s got this motherly-protective thing over us. Meg¡¯s really not much of a partier. She¡¯ll stop in say hi to everyone, but she would rather be hanging out at the house. She always has to know when we¡¯ve made it to our final destination of the night if we don¡¯t stay here. She¡¯s a worrier,¡± Jess explained. ¡°Now, let¡¯s get some sleep. I¡¯m tired.¡±


    ¡°Come on, Sam. You definitely need some rest. We all do,¡± Evie said to me and I followed her into the room, doing my best to ignore Ash¡¯s presence in the house.


    After the three of us had washed our faces, brushed our teeth and changed into night clothes, we all climbed into Jess¡¯ king sized bed. Evie and Jess both fell asleep instantly, they never said a word once their heads hit the pillows. Even though I was physically and mentally drained, I could not fall asleep. I laid there staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, but a look at the clock told me it had only been thirty minutes. I could not get my brain to shut down. The evening¡¯s events replayed over and over in my mind¡­ Ash and Dylan(,) and Ash and Dylan(,) and Ash¡­ it just wouldn¡¯t stop. I decided a glass of milk, if they had any, might help so I quietly got out of the bed and tiptoed into the kitchen. I tried to be as discreet as possible so I wouldn¡¯t disturb anyone, but as I leaned over to put the milk jug back in the refrigerator, a male voice startled me. Actually, it scared the absolute shit out of me.


    ¡°Why does she call you Sam?¡±


    ¡°What?!?¡± I hissed as I flung my head around.


    Ash was standing in the entrance to the kitchen, his hair was still wet from the shower and his face was cleanly shaven. He was only wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants that hung sinfully low on his hips. I just about died. There was nothing I could do but gawk at the near-perfect male specimen standing a mere three feet in front of me. I ran my eyes over the entirety of his body and admired the muscular definition in his shoulders, chest, and abs. If I had thought a dressed Ash was breathtaking, than a half-naked one was heart-stopping. Every angry and negative thought that had passed my mind earlier in the night disappeared instantly. The look he gave me was full of hunger. And I wanted to be eaten.


    ¡°I asked why Evie calls you Sam,¡± he repeated. He then looked down to the drink in my hands and chuckled, ¡°Do you always drink other people¡¯s milk?¡±


    ¡°When they¡¯ve told me to make myself at home, I do,¡± I snapped at him. ¡°And the other is a long story and not a very interesting one at that.¡±


    I walked closer to him as he was blocking my exit from the kitchen and cocked my head as if to ask him to move.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have anywhere to be anytime soon,¡± he said standing his ground in the walkway.


    I rolled my eyes at him and thought if I just ignored him I could escape the conversation. I was still pissed at him for being such a jerk at the party(,) and I didn¡¯t trust myself to spend time alone with him. The effects of the alcohol had long since worn off, but the sexual frustration that had been stirred up by both him and Dylan earlier in the night still pulsed throughout my body. I didn¡¯t want to do anything I¡¯d regret the next day, and I thought I had endured enough excitement for my first night out. However, when standing mere inches from him, waiting for him to move out of my way, I became keenly aware of how thin the material of my cami and boy shorts pj set was when I felt the heat from his body radiating on my skin. My pulse was racing once again and I was certain my hard nipples were visible through the cotton, but knew if I shifted my sight down to inspect the situation, his vision would follow. And I didn¡¯t want that¡­ right?


    Before I had time to think up another excuse to avoid his company, he grabbed my hand, pulled me to the kitchen table, and guided me into a chair. My first instinct was to fight him, yank my hand out of his grasp and tell him to go to hell, but the jolt of electricity that shot through my body when his skin touched mine kept me silent. Earlier when I was first introduced to Ash, I thought that my brain and body reacted the way they did because I was overly excited to finally be meeting members of the male species and it didn¡¯t hurt that he was drop-dead gorgeous. However, after meeting all of the guys at the party and kissing Dylan tonight, I knew our attraction/connection was different somehow.


    ¡°So¡­ Sam?¡± he asked again, determined to make me explain.


    ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I began, ¡°It¡¯s really nothing. I have this weird dislike for nicknames, always have. I don¡¯t mind calling other people nicknames if that¡¯s what they prefer, but I¡¯ve never liked to be called something other than my name.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Ash interrupted.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure really, I guess because I feel like they are overused and undervalued.¡±


    He cocked his head at me as if he wanted me to continue.


    ¡°For example, look at the five of us in this house right now. Your full name is Ashton but the majority of people call you Ash. Evie is actually Evelyn, Jess is truly Jessica, and I¡¯m assuming Meg is a Megan.


    ¡°The most common nicknames for people are a shortened version of their full name, like with the four of you. My name shortened is Scar,¡± I wrinkled my nose. ¡°When most people hear Scar they either think of a physical marking associated with a bad memory and lots of pain or Simba¡¯s evil uncle that had Moufassa killed so he could be the Lion King. Neither of those are really the image I¡¯m going for.¡±


    For the first time I heard Ash laugh a sincere, whole-hearted laugh, and it was a sweet, sweet sound in my ears that warmed my entire body.


    ¡°Other types of nicknames include those that are terms of endearment and those that are used to make fun of someone. It¡¯s obvious why I don¡¯t like the latter of the two, I¡¯m not a hateful person and don¡¯t want to make others feel bad about themselves. And as for all of the beautifuls, honeys, sugar pies, sweeties¡­ believe me, I could go on for hours¡­ I just hear it so much I feel like they¡¯ve lost their meaning, ya know? People just call each other those names to have a nickname to call each other. I don¡¯t know; I just don¡¯t get it.


    ¡°So anyways, one day in junior high, Evie and I had this exact discussion that we are having now, and she made it her mission to find a nickname I would like. For over a week, she tried out different names on me¡­ it must¡¯ve been a thousand. When finally one day she was at my house looking at some school forms I had left on the table, and my initials S.A.M., Scarlett Alexandria MacGregor, were written across the top. By this point my resolve was weakening and I felt bad rejecting her suggestions day after day. So I agreed to Sam, with the one caveat being that she¡¯s the only person that gets to call me that. And thus Sam, my evil alter ego was born,¡± I said as I finished the story.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m sorry¡­ I mean, I¡¯m glad I asked,¡± he said teasingly.


    ¡°Oh shut up¡­ I warned you it was long and boring!¡± I retorted. Then without thinking I leaned over and brushed back a strand of his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. He caught my hand as I tried to pull it back and pressed my fingertips to his lips.


    ¡°Come to my bed with me, Scarlett?¡± his eyes pleaded with mine.


    ¡°Excuse me? Are you crazy?¡± I blurted out. Did I hear him correctly? Was he really asking me to have sex with him? And why was I actually considering it?


    ¡°No, no¡­ not like that. I promise it won¡¯t be like that,¡± he said running his fingers through his thick wavy hair in frustration. ¡°Sorry, that came out wrong.¡±


    He looked at me and said earnestly, ¡°I¡¯m going to be blunt with you, Scarlett. I¡¯m not sure what it is about you, but from the moment I saw you in the living room earlier tonight, I can¡¯t get you out of my head.¡± He paused as he searched for what he wanted to say. ¡°I don¡¯t even know how to explain it; I¡¯m pretty sure you feel something between us too, at least I hope you do. I just want to talk to you, get to know you. Look, I¡¯d be lying if I said I didn¡¯t want to touch you, to hold you close to me, but I¡¯m not going to take advantage of you. I swear. I just want to lie down and be comfortable; we can stay on top the covers, draw a line down the middle of the bed¡­ whatever. I just want to get as much of you as I can before you go home tomorrow so that maybe I can figure out what the hell it is you are doing to me.¡± He smiled, using those dimples to charm me. As if that was necessary. In my mind, I was already lying naked in his bed. ¡°I know this sounds crazy, but please, come to my room with me?¡±


    I was dumbfounded; I didn¡¯t believe this kind of thing happened in real life. I never in a million years thought someone who looked like Ash would be saying those words to me hours after meeting, much less on my first night of my free life. It was like I was dreaming. There was never any chance I was going to say no to him and I was pretty sure he knew it too. ¡°Well since you said please¡­¡± I stood up and grabbed his hand and allowed him to lead me down the hall and into his room.


    Ash¡¯s bedroom looked pretty much like I expected a college-aged guy¡¯s room to look. There was a full-sized bed that I was surprised to find neatly made with solid grey linens, a large wooden dresser that donned a framed picture of Ash with an older couple who I assumed were his parents, and a desk that held his laptop and textbooks. It was tidier than I had anticipated; there weren¡¯t any stray clothes or shoes lying around. Thick light-blocking curtains hung over the one window in the room, but the walls were bare of any art or other decoration.


    I wasn¡¯t sure how long I had been standing there studying his room when I realized Ash was watching me. Not letting go of his hand, I turned to face him and was greeted by his devilish grin.


    ¡°Does it pass your inspection?¡± he teased. I looked at his mouth as he talked and unconsciously licked my lips, yearning to know how his mouth would feel against mine. He then moved his gaze to my mouth and cocked his eyebrows at me and smirked.


    I could feel the warmth of the blush creep across my face and neck, mortified that I had not only been caught scrutinizing his personal living space but at my body¡¯s obvious physical reaction to his proximity. I nodded and then lost the battle to contain my nervous giggles.


    ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Nothing,¡± I replied, not wanting to admit to him the reason I was so thoroughly inspecting his room was because this was the first time I had ever been in a guy¡¯s room.


    ¡°Nothing, huh?¡±


    The next thing I knew, I was lying flat on my back in the center of Ash¡¯s bed and he was tickling me relentlessly. I desperately tried to escape his assault, but my legs were trapped between his and he had both of my arms pinned above my head with one of his hands.

 Page 9

    ¡°I am not going to stop until you tell me why you think my room is so funny,¡± he said as he continued to torment me with his free hand.


    ¡°Okay, okay,¡± I managed to say when I finally stopped laughing long enough to catch my breath.Advertisement


    Ash stopped tickling me at my surrender but kept my body restrained under his. His mesmerizing eyes penetrated mine as he waited for my answer. For the first time I noticed a light sprinkle of freckles across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. Dimples and freckles¡­ my two weaknesses - I was starting to wonder if he wasn¡¯t made just for me. He was close enough that his scent, a mixture of clean refreshing soap and minty fresh toothpaste, flooded my nostrils and I clenched my legs together hoping to relieve the growing ache in my sex. His nearness made me lose complete control of my thoughts and physical reactions.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t laughing at your room,¡± I admitted. ¡°I wasn¡¯t really laughing at anything. It just struck me as comical that here I am, eighteen years old, starting college in a couple of days, and this is the first guy¡¯s room I¡¯ve ever been inside except for my brother¡¯s. You¡¯ve probably had more girls in here than¡­ well, I don¡¯t have any idea how many, but¡­¡± I turned my head away from him humiliated again at my inexperience.


    ¡°Hey, please don¡¯t turn away from me,¡± Ash said softly as he used his hand to turn my chin so I was looking in his eyes once again. I willed my tears back as they threatened to pool in my eyes; I was NOT going to cry. What in the hell was wrong with me? I went from laughing hysterically one minute to crying the next.


    ¡°There¡¯s no reason for you to be embarrassed,¡± he continued. His hand moved from beneath my chin to my cheek where he gently stroked back and forth with his thumb.


    ¡°You are breathtakingly beautiful, incredibly talented, obviously intelligent, and when I look into your eyes I see the most pure, untainted soul of anyone I have ever met. Your innocence and inexperience only increases your sexiness and sensuality. You, Scarlett Alexandria MacGregor, truly are an enigma.¡±


    The thumb that had been caressing my cheek moved to my bottom lip and I instinctively opened my mouth. I flicked my tongue over the tip of his thumb, tasting his sweet flesh, before drawing it into my mouth and sucking on it. Ash inhaled deeply and his eyes darkened to a stormy blue. He broke our stare and shifted his desire-filled gaze to my mouth, watching me provocatively play with his thumb ~ licking, sucking, biting.


    Without removing his hand from my mouth, Ash leaned his face to mine and seared my lips with his. His lips were neither soft nor rough, they were just perfect, there was no other way to describe it. Our lips fit together as if they were made for one another, our tongues danced as if they had been partners for years. For what seemed like forever, we kissed and licked and nipped at each other¡¯s mouths, exploring and devouring . His hands tangled in my dark hair and every so often he would lightly tug on it, forcing me to tilt my head back so he could kiss across my jawline and down my neck. He pulled my hair with more force and I experienced a stimulating mixture of pain and pleasure, which caused a moan to escape from the back of my throat. I hadn¡¯t been kissed many times in my life, but I knew instantly that nothing would ever compare to this first kiss that I shared with Ash.


    Disappointment washed over me as I felt him withdraw from my mouth. He rolled over so he was no longer on top of me but instead sitting next to me on the bed. Immediately, my body craved to be pressed up against his again.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he said as he ran his hands through his hair. I noticed he did that often when he was either frustrated or at a loss for words.


    ¡°I swore that I wouldn¡¯t do that, and look at me - we haven¡¯t even been in here ten minutes and I¡¯m already breaking that promise.¡± He looked over at me guiltily.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Please don¡¯t say you¡¯re sorry,¡± I confessed with a sheepish smile. ¡°It¡¯s not like I wasn¡¯t a willing participant. I wanted that as much as you did.¡± Probably even more so, but I wasn¡¯t about to tell him that.


    ¡°Come over here,¡± he said, returning my smile as he pulled me into his arms. ¡°Let¡¯s lay down. It¡¯s after 4:00 in the morning and I¡¯m keeping you from getting any sleep. We will have other nights to talk.¡±


    He positioned us so that we were in the spooning position, my back tucked up snugly against his chest and his right arm draped across my middle. He peppered kisses up and down my neck, from my earlobe to my shoulder and then back again. I forced myself to stop overanalyzing the situation, overwhelmed at the onslaught of emotions, and enjoyed the moment for what it was.


    ¡°So soft, so sweet. My little butterfly. My beautiful Psyche.¡± Ash murmured as he nuzzled his face in the nape of my neck. I had found heaven. I didn¡¯t really know what he was talking about or what he had called me, but nothing could ruin my perfect night. That was the last thought I remembered having before I drifted into a blissful sleep.


    Chapter 6


    I woke up the following morning feeling happier than I could remember being ~ ever. Ash¡¯s arms were still tightly wrapped around my waist, our legs tangled together, and I could feel his morning-induced erection pressed against my back. I rolled over so that I was facing him, hoping he stayed in his vulnerable state of sleep so that I could better study him, but his eyes were wide open and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips when I looked at him.


    ¡°Good afternoon, butterfly,¡± he whispered, brushing my hair back from my face.


    ¡°Good afternoon?¡± I asked still ignoring the nickname.


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s a little after 2:00. I didn¡¯t want to wake you. You looked so comfortable, so peaceful.¡±


    ¡°Mmmm¡­ thank you. I did sleep quite well.¡±


    I scooted closer to him and rested my cheek on his chest. Ash held me securely against his body and kissed the top of my head. I felt him take a deep breath as if he was gathering the courage to say something, but he remained silent. We lay like that for several minutes, as if we were both committing the moment to memory, never wanting to forget the night we had spent together.


    ¡°What is it Ash?¡± I asked quietly. ¡°I know you want to say something, and from your hesitation, I¡¯m guessing it¡¯s not something I want to hear.¡±


    His body tensed at my words and I pulled away from him slightly so I could look up to his face. His jaw pulsed as he clenched his teeth. I touched his face, much like he had done to me the night before, rubbing my fingers delicately across his cheeks, hoping to relax his uneasiness.


    ¡°Scarlett, I¡­ we¡­¡± he stammered, still unable to get the words out.


    ¡°Just say it, Ash,¡± I demanded.


    ¡°We can¡¯t do this¡­ I can¡¯t do this with you,¡± he began as my stomach tightened. ¡°As much as I would love to, I just can¡¯t. It wouldn¡¯t be fair to you.¡±


    I gave him a puzzled look not understanding what had happened, what had gone wrong.


    ¡°Look Scarlett, you are about to go through this crucial transition in your life, changing from the sheltered girl you were under your parents control, to a beautiful young woman that¡¯s ready to spread her wings and fly. Because you haven¡¯t experienced many of the things that most people our age have, you, more than anyone, need this time to find out who you are and what you want. What you don¡¯t need is me around to complicate things,¡± he explained.


    ¡°Why do you think you would complicate things?¡± I interrupted. I could feel the lump forming in my throat and despite my attempt to refrain from crying, tears trickled down my cheeks.


    ¡°Because I know me,¡± he said truthfully, wiping away my tears. ¡°I¡¯m not boyfriend material, Scarlett. That¡¯s just not who I am right now. I would end up hurting you or holding you back, and I couldn¡¯t live with myself knowing that I did either of those things to you. I meant the things I said to you last night, more than you can ever know. You are, by far, the most incredible person I have ever met and I haven¡¯t even known you 24 hours. I can¡¯t even put into words how in awe I am of you.¡±


    He continued, ¡°I would love to say ¡®Let¡¯s be friends,¡¯ but if I¡¯m being completely honest, I know that there¡¯s no way that I can be around you and not want to touch you¡­ to hold you¡­ to keep you as mine. And that¡¯s not fair to either of us.¡±


    Not knowing what to say, I just nodded my head and buried my face back into his chest. I truly believed that Ash thought he was doing the best thing for me because he sincerely wanted me to be happy. I felt silly for crying over someone I had known less than a day, I mean how emotionally attached could I have been? But the hurt was there nonetheless.


    Drawing away from his chest, I looked into his eyes. He tenderly caressed my face and then cupped the back of my head and pulled my mouth to his. For one last time, we succumbed to the undeniable magnetism between the two of us. My first goodbye kiss was bittersweet in every sense of the word ~ a moment in time I would never ever forget.


    ¡°Goodbye, my sweet butterfly,¡± he whispered into my hair as he held me in a final embrace.


    Chapter 7


    When I finally left Ash¡¯s room, I found Evie in the living room curled up on the couch, engrossed in her e-reader. She looked up as I walked in the room and cocked her eyebrows at me inquisitively.


    ¡°Well, I would say ¡®good morning, sunshine¡¯ except that it¡¯s almost time for dinner and you would get all pissy about the ¡®sunshine¡¯ thing,¡± she said, clearly not happy with me. I shook my head at her and gave her the ¡°please-not-now¡± look.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Jess?¡± I asked hoping to redirect her thoughts. ¡°What are you reading?¡±


    ¡°Jess is at work and I¡¯m reading Taking Chances; I¡¯m at 38% and it¡¯s getting really good. You should read it, I think you¡¯ll really be able to relate to this one,¡± she said with a sliver of dissent in her tone.


    I ignored her attempted dig, I wasn¡¯t even sure what she was referencing. ¡°I was going to start that one this weekend, I saw that it got really good reviews. Why do you say that I¡¯ll be able to relate?¡±


    ¡°Oh you¡¯ll see,¡± she smirked as she stood up and stretched her petite body, uncoiling it as if she hadn¡¯t moved for hours. ¡°Come on, get your stuff, I¡¯m ready to go back to our place.¡±


    After I collected my things from Jess¡¯ room, we jumped in Evie¡¯s car and headed the short distance back to our dorm. The first few minutes we didn¡¯t say a word to one another. I wasn¡¯t sure why she was so pissed off at me to be quite honest, and of all times in my life, I really needed her support at that moment. I was an emotional basket case.


    Evie broke the silence. ¡°So are you going to tell me what happened last night, or are you just going to let me assume the worst?¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t know what happened. I¡¯m a mess.¡± I said putting my face in my hands and shaking my head.


    ¡°O-kay. Well, let me start the story for you, tell you the parts that I know, then you can finish it and correct me if I¡¯m wrong,¡± she offered.

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    Without waiting for a response from me she began recapping the events of the night before. ¡°Last night, we went to Jess¡¯ house where we met her roommates Meg and Ash. You and Ash eye-fucked each other up until the point we got to the party, which is where you and I discussed you not getting involved with him. You then met and made out with Dylan, a hottie that seemed like a pretty nice guy, that was clearly into you and only you. Meanwhile there was Ash, who had not just one, but two whore bags that hung all over him and suck faced with him all night. Everything seemed to be going great up until the point you and Ash decided to make the jam session a contest on whose song choice lyrics could piss the other off more.¡±


    I raised my eyebrows at her last comment and she looked over at me in the passenger seat and laughed, ¡°Yeah, I picked up on it pretty quickly. I thought ¡°You¡¯re So Vain¡± was a nice touch, totally unexpected but completely appropriate.Advertisement


    ¡°Anyways, so we left the party, you and Dylan seemed to part on good terms, and you and Ash didn¡¯t say another word to one another. Right after we got back to the house, you, me, and Jess got ready for bed and went to sleep,¡± she continued. ¡°Now this is where it gets a little sketchy for me because the next thing I remember is waking up at 11:00 this morning in an empty bed. Jess was in the shower getting ready for work and you were nowhere to be found. I checked in the living room, thinking maybe you had gotten uncomfortable with all of us in the bed, and moved to the couch¡­ but noooo. I looked in the kitchen, the bathroom, even Meg¡¯s room, but you weren¡¯t in any of those places. I knew you couldn¡¯t have gone far since your purse and phone were on the kitchen counter, but after about 30 minutes I started doubting my she-went-for-a-walk theory. Before I went into complete freak out mode, Jess convinced me to let her peek into Ash¡¯s room just to make sure you weren¡¯t in there, which of course, I knew you wouldn¡¯t be¡­


    ¡°So you can imagine my surprise when she told me that you were cozily sleeping, wrapped in Ash¡¯s arms.¡± She pulled her car into the parking space at our place but neither of us moved. ¡°What the fuck, Sam? The one thing I had told myself last night was that I wasn¡¯t going to let you sleep with anyone. I know that you feel inexperienced compared to everyone else, I know that you feel like you need to hurry up and do everything, but there are other virgins in college. I didn¡¯t want it to happen your first night out¡­ not like that¡­ not with someone like him!¡± She was yelling at me at this point while pounding her fists on the steering wheel.


    ¡°Evie, wait,¡± I cut her off mid-rant. ¡°I didn¡¯t have sex with Ash.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t?¡± she asked, confusion covering her face.


    ¡°Uh. No. Give me a little credit, My God, E. I mean, I do have a little self-respect.¡± I said. I tried to lighten the conversation, ¡°I may be a little desperate and over-eager but I¡¯m at least going to require a good dinner before I spread my legs for someone and I would prefer that he hadn¡¯t been with someone else in the previous 24 hours, neither of which Ash fulfilled.¡±


    Evie¡¯s shoulders dropped as she exhaled a huge sigh. ¡°Oh, thank God. Do you have any idea of the guilt I¡¯ve been living with for the past few hours? Thinking that I had failed in my best friend responsibilities? I mean I went to the point of getting in bed with you at 3:00 in the morning, thinking we were all going to sleep¡­ only to find you in the bed of some self-proclaimed man-whore the next day!¡± her voice escalated again. ¡°If you didn¡¯t fuck him, what did you do? What happened exactly?¡±


    ¡°Can we please go to our room to finish this conversation?¡± I asked, hoping a break from talking and the fresh air would calm her down a bit. She nodded and we grabbed our bags and headed upstairs.


    As soon as the door closed, Evie turned to me and grabbed me in a tight hug. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I was upset with you. I¡¯m sorry I assumed that you would do that. I know you are upset right now, so tell me what happened. Tell me everything and we will work through this.¡±


    This was why I loved Evie. She was the best thing in my life, and I knew that she would always give me advice that was in my best interest. She was my life-cheerleader. Evie had saved my sanity on more than one occasion and I couldn¡¯t live without her. So I told her everything.


    ¡°Everything you said earlier was right,¡± I began, as we moved to the couch. ¡°When I first met Ash at the house last night, I had this crazy reaction to him, like the kind of thing we read about - my body got overheated, I had goose bumps all over, my stomach clenched, you know. It was weird, almost indescribable, but as soon as I heard Jess say what a ladies¡¯ man he is and then the smooth talking he did when he introduced himself to me¡­ well, I thought I was just being silly, just overreacting like an idiot to the first hot guy I met, one that obviously excels at charming females into bed. So when I met Dylan, I did like him¡­ I mean, I do like him. He is great - all the things you said, I really enjoyed talking with him, we got along great, he was respectful, and yes, he isn¡¯t hard on the eyes.¡± I stopped to pull up a vision of Dylan in my head and swoon momentarily. ¡°I didn¡¯t think about Ash at all when I was hanging out with Dylan, until we came inside and Ash starts that shit with the songs. It was like he was singing the words to me, trying to make me uncomfortable¡­ to piss me off. And obviously, it worked, which is why I played what I did, as you picked up on.


    ¡°I was still irritated with him when we got back to the house, I had no intentions of even talking to him again. But I couldn¡¯t sleep, so I got up to get a drink, and he came into the kitchen for a drink too, and he asked me why you called me Sam.¡±


    ¡°What? Why?¡± Evie asked.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I guess he was just curious about where the name came from. I told him about my strange aversion to nicknames. And it was so weird, that connection was there again. It¡¯s undeniable; I don¡¯t even know how to describe it. He asked me to go to his room to talk, he promised he wouldn¡¯t touch me and for some reason, I believed him.¡± Evie rolled her eyes and shook her head at me simultaneously.


    ¡°I know, I know, just trust me. So we went to his room, talked just a little really¡­ not about much of anything. And then we shared the most explosive, soul-capturing kiss in the history of mankind and then we went to sleep,¡± I said nonchalantly and looked at the floor.


    Evie¡¯s mouth opened and for a moment nothing came out. ¡°And? You¡¯re just going to leave me with that?¡±


    ¡°No, the next part is where it gets confusing,¡± I started to say.


    ¡°Oh, because up until now it all made perfect sense?¡± she interjected sarcastically.


    ¡°Please,¡± I begged. ¡°Just bear with me.¡±


    She nodded as to tell me to continue.


    ¡°So this afternoon when we woke up, it was like waking up in heaven, Evie. Our arms and legs were tangled together, his masculine scent all around me, I could feel his erection on my back¡­ it was seriously like a scene from one of our books. I was afraid to move, afraid to break the moment. And as most things that seem too good to be true, it was.


    ¡°When we woke up, Ash told me that we couldn¡¯t see each other or anything, that last night was it. He acknowledged that there was some unexplainable fascination between the two of us, different from just a physical attraction, but I needed this time of, oh what did he call it? Oh, my time of changing from a girl to a woman, or some bull shit. He said that I was better without him and that he would just hurt me or hold me back. So basically he was letting me go because it was the best thing for me. And then he called me his butterfly, his Psyche¡­ whatever the hell he meant by that. Honestly, I was too caught up in the fantasy of the whole thing, I didn¡¯t want to ruin it by asking. It was like my one little night of fairytale.¡±


    I released a defeated sigh as I laid down on the couch with my head in Evie¡¯s lap and my feet dangling off the side. ¡°So now I don¡¯t know what to think. Part of me feels like it¡¯s fucking absurd to believe that two days after moving here, I met my soul mate, who just so happened to be the first male I was introduced to, oh and he¡¯s a man-whore that doesn¡¯t want to give up other pussy but wants to call me cool names like Butterfly and Psyche.¡± I looked up at her and said as seriously as possible. ¡°By the way, Psyche and Butterfly are both way fucking cooler names than Sam. You could¡¯ve done much better.¡± I couldn¡¯t keep my face straight through the last word, I started cracking up. Evie stood up laughing too, causing me to roll off the couch and hit the floor with a thud. This just made me laugh harder.


    ¡°Come on Butterfly,¡± she said mockingly as she stood with her hands stretched out to me to help pull me up. ¡°Get your wings out and fly our asses to the store. We need to stock up on food and drinks. Tonight we are having a Magic Mike and banana split party; watching Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer¡¯s asses prance around while eating ice cream is the perfect distraction for you. Right now, you need to let your mind rest, stop thinking about it ~ about Ash, about Dylan, about everything.


    Evie was right, I needed to stop over thinking it, over analyzing it. Ever since I had left Ash¡¯s room, I had been replaying different moments of our time in his bed. I needed to let it go, at least for now.


    ¡°Sounds like a plan, but don¡¯t think I¡¯ve forgotten that you owe me breakfast and the score in the book whore challenge is now 1-0.¡± I joked, trying to pull myself out of my funk.


    ¡°Whatever, last night was just a practice round for you¡­ I was too worried about watching over you, making sure you didn¡¯t act like a fool or have too much to drink,¡± she argued.


    I just shook my head and laughed; I wasn¡¯t giving up this victory.


    Evie had also been right about Magic Mike and the ice cream, it was exactly what I needed to forget about everything else. Exhausted by the events of the last week, I went to sleep easily when the movie ended, with visions of men in black pants and ties dancing in my head.


    The following day, Monday, was our last free day before classes were to begin. It was raining outside so Evie and I both decided to stay in our room to recharge before our schedules became insanely hectic. I was way behind on my reading so I decided to have a rainy-day-read-a-polooza. Following Evie¡¯s lead, I downloaded Taking Chances and the recommended play list and immersed myself in the lives of Harper, Brandon, and Chase. I loved listening to the playlists suggested by the authors when reading their book. To me it¡¯s like the background music to a movie, it provides another sensory layer to the story. It¡¯s amazing how the right music can enhance a good book, it heightens the intensity levels at those crucial moments.


    About an hour in, I clearly understood why Evie wanted me to read this book. I could completely relate to Harper ~ starting college na?ve and inexperienced, being attracted to more than one guy, trying to figure out who she was. The story captivated me from the beginning; I couldn¡¯t put it down. Just as I was really falling in love with the characters, when I had decided how I wanted the story to end, the book took an unforeseen turn, a twist that was gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and tear-inducing. I then spent the next three and a half hours crying, for most of the second half of the book, as the author slowly put my broken heart back together again.

 Page 11

    When I got to the end of the book, I was completely overwhelmed, mentally and emotionally, and I broke down. I cried and I cried and I cried some more.


    I cried in sadness, and I cried with joy. I cried for unwanted goodbyes, and I cried for unexpected hellos. I cried for all the things that could¡¯ve been, and I cried for the beauty of what actually was. I cried for Harper and Brandon and Chase, and I cried for me.Advertisement


    At some point in my melt down, Evie had joined me on my small bed and held me while I sobbed. This cry was not about Ash and Dylan; the events of the previous night were just the proverbial straw, and break me it did. This cry was eighteen years in the making, a release long overdue. I cried until exhaustion took over and I fell asleep.


    When I woke up a couple of hours later, I felt much better. My body had desperately needed the rest. I found Evie lounging on the couch watching Magic Mike again.


    ¡°This movie really makes everything better,¡± she said as I sat down next to her. ¡°At least for a couple of hours.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for everything, Evie.¡± I whispered. I curled up against her and she put her arm around my shoulders. ¡°I couldn¡¯t do this without you; I would¡¯ve given up long ago if it wasn¡¯t for you.¡±


    ¡°I know, sweet Sam girl,¡± she said. ¡°But you are worth fighting for, I¡¯ll never let you give up. I love you too much.¡±


    ¡°I love you too, Evie.¡±


    Chapter 8


    The next morning was the first day of classes and I woke up with my stomach knotted with nerves. Thankfully, Evie would also be in two of my three classes that day, so we could figure most everything out together. After dressing in a black cotton maxi dress and matching flip flops, I looked at my phone to check the time. I had two text messages waiting for me.


    Ash (2:32 AM): Can¡¯t stop thinking of you butterfly.


    Dylan (8:27 AM): Have a great first day of classes! Hope to see you again soon beautiful


    Well, shit. That wasn¡¯t what I expected to start the day. First, it was strike one against Dylan with the use of ¡°beautiful.¡± I needed to let him know that I wasn¡¯t a fan of the pet name thing, but it was very thoughtful of him to text this morning. I honestly wasn¡¯t sure if I would hear from him again, but when I read the message I realized the sense of relief and delight that I felt that he wanted to see me again.


    Reading Ash¡¯s text, sent a completely different set of emotions through me - confusion, anxiety, hope, and pure lust. How did his number get in my phone? Why did he text me when he clearly told me that we could not have a relationship of any kind - neither friendly nor romantically? Why did a person that I knew practically nothing about make me lose control of my brain and body at the mere thought of him?


    I only responded to Dylan¡¯s text.


    Me (9:35 AM): Thanks, you too. Sounds good


    Then I grabbed my backpack and went to meet Evie for breakfast.


    Evie was ready and waiting for me in the kitchen. She had set us out some fresh pineapple and yogurt. As we ate, I told her about both text messages and she told me not to think too much about either of them. She was right. I needed to spend much less time thinking about boys and more time on my studies. My scholarships had strict GPA requirements, so I could not allow anything or anyone to interfere with my grades.


    ¡°I was thinking about our book whore competition last night and I agree to acknowledge your win from Saturday,¡± Evie said as we walked to our first class.


    ¡°You agree to acknowledge my win?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Yeah, like I said, I didn¡¯t allow myself to really meet anyone this time so that I could stay close to you, so it wasn¡¯t really fair. But next time, you may need to find your own way home,¡± she teased waggling her eyebrows.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask you to do that. I don¡¯t need a babysitter,¡± I tried to be serious with her but couldn¡¯t help the laughter that escaped at her ridiculous faces.


    ¡°Okay, whatever, it¡¯s over and you won,¡± she conceded. ¡°But anyways, I was thinking about it and I thought about our teacher/ professor group¡­ There¡¯s no better place to find a professor than in the classroom, so for these BB¡¯s we need to be on the lookout at all times. They don¡¯t have specific nights dedicated to them. Sound good?¡±


    My brain had been so full of Ash and Dylan that I hadn¡¯t even thought about trying to meet anyone else and I couldn¡¯t imagine throwing another guy in the mix. However, I also knew that the point of the contest was for us to meet new people from diverse backgrounds and lifestyles. It was hard for me to say what I liked and or didn¡¯t like unless I tried it out. So I nodded at Evie¡¯s suggestion in agreement. I highly doubted I¡¯d have a professor that would be seduction-worthy anyways.


    Before I knew it, it was early afternoon and Evie and I were walking back to our dorm having completed our first day of college. We were both giddy with a feeling of accomplishment, which was ridiculous, but our good moods were evident nonetheless. Since neither of us were procrastinators when it came to school work, we finished our homework right when we got back. We spent the rest of the evening gossiping about people we had met during the day and discussing the next day¡¯s schedule. After our early dinner of grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, we each went into our rooms to have some alone time. This was yet another thing that made Evie and I so compatible, she and I both understood the importance of personal time and space.


    I could hear Evie in her room skyping with someone, it sounded like her friend Corinne but I wasn¡¯t sure. She stayed in touch with several of her friends from high school through the multiple social networking sites. I knew so much about all of them through Evie¡¯s stories throughout the years that I felt like I knew them personally, but I had only met a few of them a handful of times at her house. They were an important part of her life and I knew she was worried about losing contact with them when they all went their separate ways to college. I, on the other hand, had no contact with anyone I went to school with. I was friendly enough with several girls I met during my time at St. Helen¡¯s, but since I wasn¡¯t able to do anything outside of school, it was hard for me to develop the strong friendships that others did.


    Instead, I emailed my brother and sister-in-law to let them know that I was settled in and had made it through the first day. I knew that they were worried about how I was going to adapt after moving out of my parent¡¯s house. I think they were secretly scared I was going to go lose my mind partying and either screw up my scholarships or end up pregnant or both. I had hoped that I had more self-control than that, but judging by the way I had reacted during my first weekend, I wasn¡¯t so sure anymore.


    I then spent some time tuning my guitar and looking up new music on iTunes. It never ceased to amaze me how quickly time flew by when I was searching and sampling music. The buzzing of my cell phone broke my spell. I quickly snatched it off of my desk, nervous to see who the message was from.


    Dylan (7:55 PM): How was your day? Good I hope(.)


    I breathed a sigh of relief. As much as my heart yearned for it to be Ash, I knew it was best if he didn¡¯t contact me again. I didn¡¯t respond to his text this morning hoping it would discourage him from any future messages or calls. I didn¡¯t understand why he sent the message in the first place, it seemed quite contradictory to what he had said he wanted.


    Me (8:01 PM): It was good-nothing too crazy. A day of syllabi and introductions¡­ and a lot of walking! How about you?


    Dylan (8:08 PM): Pretty much the same. I had to work this afternoon, just getting home.


    Me (8:12 PM): Work?


    Dylan(8:12PM): Yeah, you know that thing that most people have to do to make money to pay their bills?


    Me (8:13 PM): Ha, ha funny guy. I¡¯m familiar with the concept. Where do you work?


    Dylan (8:15 PM): I work at a publishing outfit a few afternoons a week, trying to get my foot in the door for after graduation.


    Me (8:16 PM): So with school and work when are you going to have time to spend with me?


    I wondered if the text was too bold but before I had time to regret it, my phone vibrated again.


    Dylan (8:17 PM): I will always make sure there¡¯s time for you.


    Me (8:18 PM): Good answer


    Dylan (8:20 PM): It¡¯s the truth. You gonna be at J&N¡¯s this Saturday?¡±


    Me (8:21 PM): ? not sure?


    Dylan (8:23 PM): They have ppl over almost every Sat, would love to see you there again


    Me (8:26 PM): I¡¯ll let you know, will talk to Evie. Going to shower now and do some reading before bed, have a good night


    Dylan (8:30 PM): Cool, you too. No more texts about you showering though, sweet dreams


    Unable to withhold my excitement over mine and Dylan¡¯s back and forth texts, I squealed as I ran across the living area to Evie¡¯s bedroom. ¡°Evie,¡± I yelled. ¡°Guess who I just talked to, or texted with, or whatever you call it.¡±


    ¡°Who?¡± she asked, looking up from her e-reader. She had already showered, as was evident by her wet black hair pulled into a tight bun, and she was propped up in her bed by the extra twenty pillows she had brought from home. Okay, maybe it wasn¡¯t twenty, but it was at least like eight or nine king-sized pillows. When we were younger, I had always thought she looked like a porcelain Asian doll sitting in a cloud when she would surround herself with the white downy-soft pillows on her bed, but now she looked more like the angel that she truly was. Evie had always been my guardian angel. I couldn¡¯t help but smile brightly when I saw her.


    I let her read the conversation on the phone and then she handed it back to me with a silly grin on her face. In her sing-song, little girl¡¯s voice she started, ¡°Scarlett and Dylan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love¡­¡± She was unable to finish the song because I began to pummel her across the head with one of her pillows.


    ¡°Okay, I surrender, I surrender! No more songs, I promise.¡± Evie could hardly contain her laughter enough to get the words out.


    ¡°So do you want to go back there this Saturday?¡± I asked trying to figure out when I was going to see Dylan again.


    ¡°Sure, and this time I plan to have much more fun, especially now that I know you¡¯ll be there with Dylan to watch over you. I¡¯ll text Jess tomorrow to make sure it¡¯s cool if we stay at her place again.¡±


    For a brief moment, I allowed myself to think about staying at Jess¡¯ house last Saturday and the memory of sleeping in Ash¡¯s bed ~ of how his hands felt on my skin and how his lips melted against mine, but I quickly replaced it with the anticipation of seeing Dylan again. As difficult as it was, I could not torture myself with false hopes and mixed signals; I needed to focus my energy on actual possibilities. And Dylan Stephens had definitely become an actual possibility.


    Evie and I hugged each other goodnight and I took a quick shower before hopping into bed. I opted for a hot, smutty book with as little angst as possible to join me and B.O.B. for a much-needed therapy session before going to sleep. Dylan had been right, my dreams were sweet indeed.


    Chapter 9


    Evie and my daily schedules kept the same blueprint as the first day for the rest of the school week. We attended class in the morning and did our homework and studied in the early afternoons. After a light dinner of either a salad or a sandwich (we were desperately trying not to gain the freshman fifteen everyone had warned us about), we spent the evenings either reading or playing around online. I loved that we had quickly established a routine; Evie knew I was a little OCD about schedules, calendars, and time tables and I was much less stressed as long as I knew what to expect each day. My obsession with scheduling and planning was a direct result of my parents scheduling every waking hour of my life. Living a life that was basically pre-planned was all I had ever known and it was going to take a little while before I felt comfortable enough to deviate from that.

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    Our classes were pretty much what we expected - the professors were demanding and the material was challenging. We had quite a bit of required reading and outside class assignments, which unfortunately put a damper on our personal reading. I had read so much during the summer with the combination of the explosion of chick lit indie authors and my lack of a social life, and I was rather sad to replace my happily-ever-afters with quadratic formula equations and stories of the Spanish Inquisition. Evie and I had Biology and Algebra together. Both classes were your run-of-the-mill freshman college class. The professors were dull and the material was even worse. I hated math and science which is why I specifically chose to take these with her, I hoped her tutoring could get me through with at least a B. My other academic classes, History and English, I enjoyed quite a bit and really didn¡¯t mind the excessive reading and writing. All of my professors were women; however, Evie had two male teachers, one of which she had deemed a BB possibility. She was working on finding out more information about his personal life because all she knew thus far was that he didn¡¯t wear a wedding ring. I have to admit, I was a tad bit jealous, but at the moment I would just have to live out that fantasy vicariously through her.


    Dylan texted me a brief good morning each day before class, but after our Wednesday evening text exchange grew outrageously long, he called on Thursday claiming his fingers were still sore from the night before and unable to perform. I preferred the phone call to the texts anyways, I loved hearing his voice and his warm, hearty laugh always brought a huge smile to my face. I couldn¡¯t help but asking him teasingly if there were other parts of his body incapable of performing on consecutive days, which he assured me there weren¡¯t. I was glad he couldn¡¯t see the bright shade of red I turned the moment the words left my mouth. My brashness probably shocked me more than it did him, and I was a tiny bit proud of myself for being able to conjure up a witty comeback. Our conversations were easy and comfortable, never forced or awkward. We talked a lot about our childhoods and families. I learned that he was born and raised in Chicago and that he was the oldest of three kids, he had a sister four years younger than him(,) and a brother two years behind her. All of his immediate family still lived in the Chicago area even though his parents were divorced. He had come to Houston because of the scholarships he had been offered by the University of St. Thomas, and he had an older cousin that lived here that virtually allowed him to live rent free. He also said he had been ready for milder winters; as the oldest male in the family, especially after his dad left, he was always the one in his house in charge of shoveling snow or de-icing doors and windows. With each revelation about himself, Dylan became more and more attractive. He seemed to be someone who truly valued his family and he most definitely had a successful future ahead of him with his work ethic and drive.Advertisement


    I told him the little there was to tell about the events of my life leading up to college-ballet, music, soccer, and school. That about summed it up; I always knew I wouldn¡¯t be a good character to base a book on unless it was one of those children¡¯s book that had one word on each page describing the action depicted above it. In that case, I would have a four page book ~ awesome. Maybe it could be lengthened to six pages if we added ¡®sleeping¡¯ and ¡®eating¡¯- even more awesome. I was honest with him about my lack of experience, socially and sexually, but downplayed my parent¡¯s controlling, irrational method of child-rearing. I just left it at ¡°They are different¡± and ¡°We aren¡¯t really close,¡± which proved to be more accurate than I ever imagined.


    By Saturday morning I was more than concerned that my parents had not attempted to contact me one time since I had left their house after our big fight - not a call, a text, an email¡­ nothing. I toyed back and forth with the idea of contacting them, but I wasn¡¯t quite sure if they were still that mad at me or if they were disappointed in me or what exactly their problem was. It pissed me off actually. For eighteen years, they controlled nearly everything I did or said and when I stood up for myself just one time, they let it all go? Let me go? They didn¡¯t even care enough to make sure that I had arrived safely. Were they happy that I was finally gone so that they were free of my burden? That¡¯s exactly how I had felt many times over the years, like a burden had been placed upon them to raise the most perfect child ever. When I didn¡¯t win first place at a music competition, or when I graduated salutatorian instead of valedictorian, or any other time that I didn¡¯t excel in something immediately, they made me feel as if I failed them on their mission. Well, screw a bunch of that. I was tired of carrying their burden of being sucky ass parents to Matt. Truth be told, they were sucky ass parents with me too, they had just jumped from one end of the spectrum to the other. I decided calling them would only upset me in some way and for now, it was probably best if I waited for them to reach out to me.


    I decided that I needed a little retail therapy to help me get out of my funk over my parents, not to mention my clothing options were still limited with what I had bought the previous weekend. Evie had a headache and wanted to take a nap before we went out that evening, but she let me take her car to the mall. Shopping by myself was a new concept for me; my mom or Evie had always accompanied me before. I felt a little lonely not having someone with me and I missed Evie¡¯s honest assessment of clothes I tried on, but I knew that one thing I really needed to work on was learning how to make choices for myself, no matter how big or small. Choosing clothes that I wanted to wear seemed like a harmless place to practice my decision making skills. A few hours later I headed back to the dorm with several bags in hand and a pleased smile on my face, feeling confident that I had excelled at my self-assigned task.


    Evie was in the shower when I got back to the dorm so I decided to make us a quick snack before getting ready. Once I heard the water turn off, I called out to her, ¡°Hey Eve, I¡¯m back! Didn¡¯t want to scare you!¡±


    ¡°Hey Sam! Did you find anything good?¡± she yelled back.


    Instead of continuing the conversation through the walls, I walked into her room. ¡°Yeah, I found a few things. I can¡¯t wait to show you, I hope you approve,¡± I said. ¡°It was no fun without you there though! How¡¯s your head anyways?¡± I asked concerned.


    ¡°I feel better. I don¡¯t know what happened, I just had this awful pain behind my right eye and then this nagging headache developed. Maybe I spent too much time looking at my computer screen last night and this morning, who knows? The aspirin and nap took care of it and I am as good as new now,¡± she smiled a bit hesitantly.


    ¡°Okay, if you¡¯re sure¡­ we don¡¯t have to go tonight if you aren¡¯t feeling up to it,¡± I offered.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be silly, Scarlett. I¡¯m fine. It was a headache and it¡¯s gone, now drop it,¡± Evie warned and turned to her closet. ¡°What are you wearing tonight?¡± she asked changing the subject.


    I knew that the conversation was over, but there was still something that didn¡¯t feel right. Evie had experienced several headaches in the last few months which was odd for her, she never was one to feel bad or get sick. Her parents had been concerned as well, but much like she just did to me, she assured them that it wasn¡¯t anything serious and would resume to her usual cheerful self. I promised myself to insist she see a doctor if it happened again.


    ¡°I bought a new dress today that I want you to see. What about you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure yet¡­¡± Evie continued to sort through her options hanging in the closet. ¡°But you better get moving, we need to leave here in like an hour!¡±


    ¡°An hour? Why so soon?¡± I was confused. I looked at the clock and confirmed that it was only 6:30. Last Saturday we didn¡¯t leave until close to 9:00.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you last night? Jess wants to go grab dinner at this new restaurant beforehand. We are supposed to meet them around 8:00.¡± She walked out of her closet still in just her bra and panties and holding two different sundresses. ¡°Which one? The pink and yellow one with a low cut neckline that whispers ¡°Please fuck me¡± or the red and black striped one with a shorter skirt that screams ¡°Fuck me now!¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s go with the whispers and the please for tonight. We are still on preppy college boy duty, right? I sure hope so since I¡¯m meeting Dylan there. Plus we don¡¯t want your inner Dominatrix scaring them away,¡± I snorted. ¡°We¡¯ll save the other for the night we are hunting deviant, misunderstood rocker boys.¡±


    ¡°Then we need to do that soon,¡± she retorted with a playful frown. ¡°Because I look hot in this dress.¡± She held the red and black one up across her body while staring at her image in the mirror. ¡°Hmmpph¡­ I guess you¡¯re right. It may be a bit much for tonight.¡± And she threw it back into the closet.


    Moments later I jumped in my own shower to soap, shampoo, and shave. After I carefully applied my makeup and styled my hair in two long braids, I nodded an approval at my image in the mirror. Moving to my closet, I chose a white eyelet matching bra and thong set. I knew that I was a long way from being ready for Dylan to see me in my panties, but just knowing what I had on under my clothes made me feel sexier and more confident. My dress was a gauzy white sundress with a sweetheart neckline and a hem that fell mid-thigh. Again, I wore my boots and accessorized with a long turquoise necklace that hung low on my chest. A few minutes, and one last look in the mirror later, we were headed out the door.


    Chapter 10


    We weren¡¯t in the car five minutes when Evie approached the subject I knew she had been anxious to discuss all day, the conversation I had dreaded.


    ¡°So what are you going to do about Ash tonight?¡± she asked with a little too much sweetness in her voice.


    ¡°What do you mean exactly?¡± I asked, playing dumb with the same over-the-top sugary tone. She glared at me warning me that she was serious. I sighed loudly and slumped my shoulders forward.


    ¡°Oh, Evie, I don¡¯t know.¡± I confessed. ¡°I¡¯m just going to act like nothing happened, I guess. What else am I supposed to do?¡±


    ¡°How do you feel about him? You know, now that you¡¯ve had a week to process everything that happened and now that you¡¯ve been talking to Dylan more and more.¡±


    ¡°Confused. I feel completely confused about the whole thing. I mean, like I told you before, there is this intense attraction that I feel towards Ash. It¡¯s not just physical, its¡­ more. I just don¡¯t know how to describe it. But obviously, it¡¯s not just me that he has that effect on, girls throw themselves at him all the time, and from the way Jess talks it¡¯s always been that way. I¡¯m just one of many gullible girls that easily fell victim to his charm. I¡¯m not silly enough to think I¡¯m anything special to him, despite what he says.¡±


    Neither of us said anything for a few moments. I wasn¡¯t sure if I was trying to convince Evie or myself that it really wasn¡¯t a big deal to me¡­ that he wasn¡¯t a big deal to me. There really was no reason he should be. I had literally spent less than twenty four hours with the guy, I hardly knew anything about him, and the things I did know were like flashing neon signs telling me to stay away. But yet not a day had passed during the week that he didn¡¯t creep into my thoughts at some point. I saw those incredible greenish-blue eyes staring into me, I heard his voice whispering in my ear, felt his breath on the back of my neck. It almost seemed the harder I tried to stop thinking about him, the more I did. I was still curious about the reason for the text, but doubted that I would mention it to him unless he brought it up.

 Page 13

    ¡°I think you should just have fun, Scarlett.¡± Evie said, interrupting yet another daydream I was having about Ash. ¡°If there truly is some undeniable attraction between the two of you, then ya¡¯ll will end up together with a magical, fairytale, happily-ever-after. But you know as well as I do that it takes a bunch of other bullshit in between to get that point - a bunch of unnecessary angst, some preventable misunderstandings, and you both need to make some ill-advised and senseless decisions. So right now, I think you should just let everything happen and stop over thinking all of it¡­ I know that¡¯s easier said than done.¡± She stopped and gave me a heartening smile. ¡°You know I just want what¡¯s best for you, Sam. And right now, Ash is right in that you need to experience a lot more of what life has to offer. Plus, who else is going to help me sample all of the book boyfriends?¡±


    I smiled back at her, so incredibly thankful that I had such an amazing friend. She always knew the right thing to say to me to both comfort me and lead me in the right direction. ¡°You¡¯re right Evie. I¡¯m going to try my best to just take that night for what it was, which when I think about it now, really wasn¡¯t much of anything.¡± I thought about what I had just said and hoped that I would be strong enough to resist Ashton Walker.Advertisement


    I changed the subject to improve the mood before our night out began. ¡°Speaking of our book boyfriends and the contest, you are participating in the competition tonight aren¡¯t you? I don¡¯t like pity wins.¡±


    ¡°Absolutely. Last week was just a warm-up round¡­ just letting you get your feet a little wet.¡±


    ¡°My feet weren¡¯t the only thing getting wet.¡± I joked in a mock sultry voice. ¡°No, seriously,¡± I continued. ¡°So tonight we are doing preppy college boy again since I kind of don¡¯t have a choice with Dylan being there and all, but what¡¯s next and when?¡±


    ¡°Hmmm¡­ I haven¡¯t thought about it really. I¡¯ll start working on it though.¡± Evie looked downright giddy thinking about our next adventure and we hadn¡¯t even started on tonight¡¯s.


    We sat in comfortable silence until we got to the restaurant. I was in such a good mood and was suddenly really looking forward to the night ahead. After finally finding a parking place in what seemed to be the next zip code, we hoofed across the parking lot to the front doors. People were loitering outside, some sitting on benches while others were smoking cigarettes. I hoped the wait for a table wouldn¡¯t be too long, the place looked packed and I was starving.


    Right before we walked inside, Evie realized that she had forgotten her phone in her car on the charger. I turned around to go with her to retrieve it, but she stopped me and told me to go ahead inside and let Jess know that we were there. I wasn¡¯t completely comfortable with the idea of her walking alone at night to her car, but she pointed out to me the numerous lights dispersed across the well-lit lot, the security driving around in a golf cart, and the mace container she held in her hand. Without another good reason for her not to go, I entered the restaurant on a hunt to find Jess in the sea of bodies.


    It didn¡¯t take long for me to find the back of Meg¡¯s platinum blonde pixie cut hair across the waiting area, standing at the bar. I could only assume that Jess¡¯ short self was standing next to her. I slithered through the people, trying not to step on anyone or accidentally hit someone¡¯s arm that was holding a drink, to make my way to them. As I got closer, I noticed that standing in between Meg and Jess was none other than Ash. There was no mistaking him, even from the back. Oh shit. It appeared my will was going to be tested earlier than I had thought. One foot in front of the other, I could do this.


    When I got just a few feet behind them, I overheard Ash ask Jess, ¡°Five? Who else is joining us?¡± I froze. I really didn¡¯t mean to eavesdrop, but I just couldn¡¯t help myself. I wanted to know what his reaction and response was going to be when Jess told him that we were the ones meeting them there.


    ¡°Evie and Scarlett. Why? Is that okay?¡± Jess asked looking up at Ash. He didn¡¯t reply at first, or at least not that I heard, but he must¡¯ve made a disapproving face because Jess raised her voice at him. ¡°What¡¯s the problem, Ash? You told me nothing happened between you and Scarlett last weekend. You said that y¡¯all just stayed up late talking and passed out because she was having a hard time sleeping. I warned you to stay away from her, Ash, goddammit. I didn¡¯t want anything like this to happen. I knew they were going to be hanging out with us a lot¡­ and she¡¯s so good Ash, she really doesn¡¯t need to deal with your shit.¡±


    ¡°Nothing happened! I told you nothing happened, it¡¯s the truth,¡± he argued. ¡°Look, Scarlett is a very sweet and pretty girl, but that¡¯s what she is¡­ a girl. You know I don¡¯t mess around with virgins. I learned my lesson the hard way with that shit. Either they are never going to let me fuck them, which I respect their decision and all but that doesn¡¯t work for me, or they decide that I¡¯m the lucky bastard that they give their most virtuous gift to and expect me to fall in love with them and spend forever together, which REALLY doesn¡¯t work for me. So whichever category Scarlett or any other vestal maiden that may come along falls into, it¡¯s never going to work for me.¡±


    ¡°Not to mention, she¡¯s so not his type,¡± Meg chimed in. ¡°She¡¯s not blonde and her tits aren¡¯t big enough. But for me on the other hand¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not helping Meg and you need to stay the hell away from her too.¡± Jess warned.


    I could not believe the conversation I was listening to. The three of them were talking about me and my virginity like they were discussing what they were going to eat for dinner, just no big deal. I didn¡¯t have much time to analyze the multitude of emotions that had converged together to form a huge knot in the back of my throat and a matching one deep in my abdomen because Evie walked up next to me, grabbed my hand, and forced me to follow her to where the trio stood. I¡¯m sure she thought I was just too nervous to approach Ash.


    ¡°Hey guys, I hope you haven¡¯t been waiting long,¡± Evie greeted the group. All three of them turned around to face us with a somewhat guilty look on their faces, or maybe I just thought I saw that since I knew what they had been discussing and I thought they should¡¯ve felt guilty.


    ¡°No, we haven¡¯t been here too long,¡± Jess replied hastily. ¡°The hostess said it would be about 20 minutes when we checked in and that was probably 10 or 15 minutes ago.¡±


    ¡°Cool.¡± Evie replied.


    I didn¡¯t say a word, I couldn¡¯t. Ash¡¯s eyes had locked with mine and I could tell he was concerned that I had overheard their conversation. I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes but I would be damned if I gave him the pleasure of making me cry. I successfully willed them away and tore away from his stare. Determined to act as if nothing was wrong, I then said hello to each of them and asked how they were doing. Thankfully, the hostess walked over to us at that moment to let us know that our table was ready.


    Dinner itself was painfully pleasant. Jess and Evie carried the conversation throughout, the other three of us piped up every once in a while to add our two cents. I paid quite a bit of attention to first the chips and salsa on the table and then to my main course once it arrived. I felt Ash staring at me a few times but I did not dare look his way. His and Meg¡¯s words were playing on an endless loop in my head. She is a girl¡­ It¡¯s never going to work for me¡­ She¡¯s so not his type¡­ She is a girl. I sat in my chair exploding with emotions-embarrassment, rejection, and flat-out anger were the three at the top of my list, in no particular order. However, in the end, anger won out and I couldn¡¯t wait to get to the party to be in Dylan¡¯s arms to show him just how much of a girl I was.


    Chapter 11


    The scene at Jacob and Nicholas¡¯ was much the same as the week before except with double the number of people. I recognized quite a few of the people as we made our way from the front door to the kitchen. Several of them even stopped to ask if I¡¯d be playing the guitar again to which I replied an honest ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡± I found Dylan in the kitchen. He was drinking a beer, leaning against the island, looking hotter than I remembered. He had gotten his hair cut or buzzed I should say. Normally I wouldn¡¯t think that I would like a guy with hair that short, but somehow it made Dylan even more attractive. He was dressed similar to the last time I saw him - a pale blue polo, cargo shorts, and deck shoes. All-American boy indeed. As soon as his big brown eyes found me, a huge smile spread across his flawless face, and I hurried over to him. He greeted me with a warm embrace, a hug so tight that he lifted me off of the floor. We were in complete oblivion to the people around us, other than the fact I was secretly hoping Ash was watching. When he sat me back down, he leaned towards me and spoke with his lips brushing against mine. ¡°I couldn¡¯t wait to see you, Scarlett. A week is way too long to go without seeing your lovely face.¡±


    Feeling wanted and cherished, I whispered back, ¡°I missed you too, Dylan.¡± I stuck my tongue out and traced his lower lip with it, taunting him to kiss me harder. Dylan did not disappoint. The invitation of my tongue on his mouth must¡¯ve been exactly what he was waiting for because he immediately swept me away in a demanding and powerful kiss. His tongue plundered and pillaged my mouth while his hands rubbed up and down my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body firmly against his.


    When we broke apart, a round of applause and whistles broke out among the party-goers in the kitchen that had witnessed our exchange.


    ¡°Damn girl, if I didn¡¯t know better, I would¡¯ve thought y¡¯all were long lost lovers reuniting after years apart,¡± Evie leaned over to me and said. There was no doubt that my face was beet red, I could feel the heat in my cheeks. I didn¡¯t mean for the kiss to become so passionate right there in front of everyone, but once it got started, I couldn¡¯t help but release all of the pent up emotions that I had yet to deal with from dinner and it just felt so good to be desired.


    Dylan didn¡¯t seem to mind the attention; he smiled smugly and continued to hold me close to him with both arms snaked around my waist. Everyone resumed whatever it was they were doing and I felt an overwhelming need for fresh air.


    ¡°Can we go outside? It¡¯s a little warm in here,¡± I whispered in Dylan¡¯s ear.


    ¡°Of course. Come on,¡± he answered and kissed my forehead.


    He led me through the crowded kitchen to the back door, and as soon as we stepped on the wooden deck, I filled my lungs with the warm humid Texas air. It was calming and refreshing. There weren¡¯t nearly as many people in the back yard as inside - just a few couples sitting on and around the deck, some talking, some doing more than talking, and a group of smokers that stood in a circle in the middle of the yard. The smell of both cigarettes and pot lingered heavily in the muggy night. Dylan walked us to an area of the deck railing that was unoccupied. He lifted me up so that I was sitting on the wide railing, eye level with him. Instinctively, I opened my legs wide enough that he could stand between them. I pulled him to me and without saying a word, I picked up right where we had left off inside, crushing my mouth on his. I was still irritated and hurt over Ash¡¯s cruel words, and as hard as I tried, I could not stop thinking about it¡­ until Dylan had kissed me in the kitchen. So I figured as long as I kept kissing him, I would be perfectly happy. There could be worse things, right? And damn if he wasn¡¯t a superb kisser. Kissing Dylan was different than kissing Ash, I couldn¡¯t put my finger on how exactly, but it was incredible nonetheless.

 Page 14

    After several minutes of getting our mouths reacquainted with one another, we were finally ready to talk. Dylan stayed close to me, in between my legs with each of his hands on my bare thighs, his face was just inches from mine.


    ¡°I really like the boots,¡± he said smiling while he looked down at my feet. ¡°They¡¯re very sexy Texas.¡± I grinned at the compliment and wiggled my feet for him.Advertisement


    ¡°But I love the pigtails,¡± he murmured as he leaned in to me once again. He kissed right below my left ear and then whispered, ¡°They make me think very naughty thoughts about you.¡± I whimpered as similar visions crossed my mind and my wet pussy ached with want.


    ¡°Oh God, Scarlett. Please don¡¯t make sounds like that. I¡¯m having a hard enough time controlling myself as it is,¡± Dylan pleaded but kept his face nuzzled in my neck and his body up against mine.


    ¡°Sorry. I got a little carried away there. You aren¡¯t the only one fighting to stay in control, ya know?¡± I replied. We continued to stand like that for a little while, I had my arms wrapped around his neck and I was running my hands over his freshly cut hair. I loved the way the hair felt under my hands, it was soft and smooth if you rubbed your hands one way, but stubby and prickly when you ran it the other direction. He continued to lay against my chest, kissing my neck and ears every so often, both of us were lost in thought. This was quite different from last Saturday when we spent the majority of the time talking and getting to know one another. I wondered what it would be like to be in a different setting with Dylan, like a real dinner-movie date kind of thing. And then I wondered why he hadn¡¯t asked me out yet. We had talked or texted every day this week, but he never brought up seeing one another outside of these parties. Before I could jump off into one of my notorious overanalyzed hypotheses on why that was, Evie and some guy walked out the back door towards us. The competition had officially begun.


    ¡°Hey Sam. How you doing out here?¡± she asked as her and her male friend approached. I could see the wide grin on her face and the sparkle in her eye and I knew that this was her so-called chosen ¡°prey¡± for the evening. He was cute, a little dorky, but still cute. He was tall and skinny, had short black hair, and his pink polo, seer-sucker shorts, and loafers screamed ¡°preppy frat boy.¡± The look was so over the top, I couldn¡¯t help but snicker into Dylan¡¯s back. I knew that this ¡°genre¡± of book boyfriend was not Evie¡¯s top choice, she much preferred a guy with some rough around the edges, but she was sticking to the guidelines¡­ almost a little too well. A pink polo, really?


    ¡°We¡¯re good. Sorry to bail, there were just so many people inside the house, and I was getting overheated and claustrophobic,¡± I told her apologetically.


    ¡°No worries, I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. And I wanted to introduce you to Anthony,¡± Evie grabbed his hand and jerked him closer to her. The move startled the poor guy, but he wasn¡¯t about to protest.


    Dylan and I both introduced ourselves and shook the guy¡¯s hand without moving from our position. Dylan had just turned around so that his back was leaning against my chest, still standing in between my legs. My boots were hooked around the front of him, resting on his thighs; my arms snaked around his middle, hands clasped together at his waist; and my chin rested on his right shoulder. I loved having his neck and ear in such close proximity to my mouth and every so often, I would kiss and nip at his soft skin. The moans I could feel vibrating in his neck that had escaped in the back of his throat fueled me to continue.


    We spent a while talking outside with Evie and Anthony, who actually turned out to be a pretty normal guy, despite his questionable clothing decisions. I could tell that Evie was bored with him about halfway through the conversation, but she was not going to forfeit the win easily. She tried her hardest to get Anthony to partake in some form of PDA, but he was shy and reserved and any physical contact between the two of them was a direct result of her initiating it. It appeared I had two breakfasts coming my way.


    At some point Jess stuck her head out the door and told us the jam session was about to start and I needed to come in. I really hadn¡¯t thought about playing again this week, I was hoping there would be other people who wanted to perform, especially since there were so many more people this time. But Evie, Jess, and Dylan insisted that we go in, so I went along with them. I really didn¡¯t want to see Ash. I had managed to avoid him since we had arrived at the house by staying outside, but I really didn¡¯t want to see him with or without female companionship. I hoped he wasn¡¯t stupid enough to pull the same shit with his song choices again, I was irritated enough with him as it was and it wouldn¡¯t take much to make me just want to leave¡­ probably with Dylan, and I really wasn¡¯t ready for that yet.


    Thankfully, Ash, who surprisingly appeared to be bimbo-less, didn¡¯t try to embarrass me or send any secret messages while he sang, at least not that I picked up on. He actually paid very little attention to me whatsoever. I decided that this irritated me even more than when he was trying to get under my skin, at least then I knew he was thinking about me. I knew I should feel guilty thinking these thoughts about Ash as I sat in Dylan¡¯s lap, but I didn¡¯t. Mostly because I knew that nothing would ever happen between me and Ash, that had been made clear more than once. Once again, Ash was fantastic. He played a mixture of classics and current sounds, but all of them in his own style that kind of reminded me of a mixture of Mason Jennings and Jack Johnson. His sound matched his image so perfectly - if you closed your eyes, you could imagine yourself sitting around a bonfire at the beach after a long day of sun and surf. It was absorbing and therapeutic.


    When he finished his last song, Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, which was absolutely spectacular, he looked in my eyes for the first time since we had left the restaurant and held the guitar out towards me. His mouth turned up in a slight smile but it did not reach his eyes. I hoped he felt as distraught inside as I did, but I doubted that I was the reason for the troubled look on his face. He was probably just frustrated at his lack of female worshippers and the fact that he apparently wasn¡¯t getting laid two Saturday nights in a row. The thought of all the girls he had slept with made me shudder and reminded me of my exasperation with him. I grabbed the guitar from him with a short ¡°Thanks,¡± and took the seat that he had been sitting in.


    I followed the mood that Ash had set, a cheerful calm, by playing similar songs in style. As always, I lost myself in my music and at times I forgot that anyone else was even in the room with me; I was grateful for the opportunity to release some of my frustration. Playing the guitar always soothed me.


    Shortly after I was done, Jess, Ash, Evie, and I headed back to their house just as we did the week prior; I assumed Meg was already at their house. I was grateful the rest of them were ready to leave as well because I was exhausted. The goodbye kiss from Dylan was passionate and full of promises for more. I was glad that the attraction between us continued after our first meeting, I had secretly feared that I wouldn¡¯t feel anything for him when I saw him again. However, that wasn¡¯t the case at all. Dylan had not only been better looking than I had remembered, but his words were more flattering and his kisses tasted much sweeter. I was very much looking forward to seeing him again. But he still wasn¡¯t Ash.


    Chapter 12


    Evie and Jess changed and went straight to bed, but I opted for a shower first. They were both sound asleep by the time I joined them in the bed, and once again, I found myself lying there staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. After about an hour or so, I tiptoed out of Jess¡¯ room and went to the kitchen for a glass of milk. There was just something about a glass of ice-cold milk that made me feel full and content and always helped me fall asleep. I opened the refrigerator and my jaw dropped. What in the hell?


    Sitting on the top shelf was a glass of milk, already poured, with a piece of paper taped to it. The word ¡°sorry¡± was still legible even though the condensation from the glass had caused the ink to run. Was he serious with this? Without thinking, I marched down the hall and flung open the door to Ash¡¯s room.


    ¡°You are such a pompous, arrogant asshole,¡± I growled at him. I wanted to scream at him at the top of my lungs, but I didn¡¯t want to wake up the others in the house, especially Evie, so I settled on a fierce growl. As I stood in the doorway, it took my brain a moment to process the scene in front of me. On Ash¡¯s bed there were a bunch of pillows all stacked up with several towels lying across them. It appeared that Ash was buried under the pillows, at least I assumed he was because I didn¡¯t see him anywhere else.


    ¡°What in the world are you doing?¡± I hissed.


    His head peaked out from behind one of the pillows and he flashed me his killer dimples and that panty-drenching smile. Oh Lord. I tried hard to keep my resolve, but his nearness made it oh so hard.


    ¡°I was afraid you were going to throw the glass of milk at me when you came in here. I didn¡¯t think about using a plastic cup until it was too late, so I thought I better take the necessary precautions.¡± He looked pleased that I didn¡¯t have the glass of milk in my hands, I was so infuriated when I saw it that I had left it on the shelf in the refrigerator.


    Staying by the door, I assessed the absurdity of the entire situation. Ash still hadn¡¯t moved either. His hair hung in his face, messed up from hiding his head under the pillows, and he had the biggest shit-ass grin across his face as if he was gloating. I tried hard to fight the smile that tugged at my face and the laughter that threatened escape in my throat. I was supposed to be irritated and annoyed at his presence. If he wasn¡¯t so damn irresistible¡­


    ¡°So you think you can just pour me a glass of milk and write ¡®sorry¡¯ on a piece of paper and I¡¯m going to forget about how big of an ass you are?¡± I asked with a bit of forced anger.


    ¡°No, you¡¯ll probably always think I¡¯m an ass, but I was hoping it would get you in my room talking to me, and it looks like it worked,¡± he gloated.


    I sighed, rolled my eyes, and turned to walk away from him all in one frustrated motion. It was a move I had perfected while dealing with my parents for so many years.


    ¡°Scarlett, wait, don¡¯t leave¡­ please. I promise I won¡¯t act like a cocky bastard anymore,¡± Ash pleaded. ¡°Well¡­ at least I¡¯ll try really hard not to.¡± I imagined the sexy smirk on his face with his last remark without even looking at him.


    ¡°What do you want from me?¡± I stopped a few steps into the hallway but didn¡¯t turn around.


    ¡°Just to talk¡­ I just want to talk to you.¡±


    Unable to resist the near-begging in his alluring voice, I spun my body back to his room and walked right inside the doorway. I stayed as far away from him and the bed as I could while still being in the room. ¡°What? What do you want to talk about?¡± I spat. I was just as irritated at myself for giving in to him so easily as I was at him for¡­ well, just for being him.


    Ash pulled himself from under the pillow mountain, knocking them all to the ground in the process. Again he only wore a pair of cotton pajama pants and again my body came alive at the sight of his bare torso. The guy seriously could¡¯ve been an underwear model, he was that hot. ¡°You don¡¯t have to stand all the way over there, Butterfly. Close the door so we don¡¯t wake anyone up and come over here.¡± He patted the bed next to where he sat.

 Page 15

    His voice was low and tempting, and as hard as I tried to fight the seduction, I found myself wanting to do exactly as he said. However, I mustered up the little determination I had and snapped, ¡°Don¡¯t call me Butterfly.¡±


    He cocked his head to the side and frowned at me. ¡°You didn¡¯t tell me I couldn¡¯t call you that last weekend.¡± His words almost sounded like a question more than a statement.Advertisement


    ¡°Well I had a brief spell of insanity, a moment of weakness if you will, and thought you might actually be a decent person, but tonight you confirmed my initial impression about you,¡± I said matter-of-factly. ¡°You are an arrogant, self-absorbed asshole that doesn¡¯t deserve the time of day from me. You are nothing but trouble, Ashton Walker.¡±


    Surprisingly, instead of getting defensive or trying to explain himself, he chose to agree with me. ¡°You¡¯re right. I am all those things,¡± he said softly. ¡°And even worse.¡± Ash stared so intensely into my eyes, I wasn¡¯t even sure he had blinked in minutes. Maybe he wasn¡¯t human¡­ but his skin wasn¡¯t cold¡­ hmmm. Again I had to push my vampire fantasies to the back of my thoughts. Damn you, Stephanie Meyer and your sexy ass vampires.


    He got off the bed and started walking towards me. I felt like I was in a National Geographic documentary on animal predators and their prey, and there was no doubt which one of us was the prey. Evie was going to shoot me. I tried to keep my body in control as he approached me, but my heart would not slow down and I was trembling from within. I was hot and cold at the same time as I anticipated the feel of his skin on mine. Ash closed the door behind me and then reached out with both of his hands and grabbed mine, sending goosebumps up my arms. I hoped he didn¡¯t notice.


    ¡°Scarlett, I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m really sorry. I can¡¯t tell you that enough,¡± he began. ¡°I really don¡¯t mean to be an ass to you, it¡¯s just, I don¡¯t know how to act around you. I¡¯ve never met anyone like you before.¡±


    ¡°What? You mean you¡¯ve never met a virgin before? That¡¯s ridiculous.¡± I scoffed at him.


    ¡°No! Of course I have! That¡¯s not what I meant,¡± he retorted. ¡°Look, like I told you last time, I feel this strange connection to you. I¡¯m captivated by you¡­ I haven¡¯t stopped thinking about you since you left. No matter how hard I try, every day I find myself wondering what you are doing, how your day was, if you¡¯re happy¡­


    ¡°And then tonight, you showed up at dinner and I wasn¡¯t expecting to see you. I didn¡¯t even know y¡¯all were coming over and I just wasn¡¯t prepared¡­¡± his voice faded off. ¡° I don¡¯t know how to act when I¡¯m around you, Scarlett, and that really freaks me out.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean ¡®how to act around me?¡¯ Just act like yourself. Why do you need to act any other way? And why do you need to be prepared to see me? And why did you even bother texting me last week after telling me that we didn¡¯t need to have any sort of relationship, not even a friendly one? You are the most confusing person I know!¡± I tried to keep my voice down, but he was frustrating the shit out of me. I didn¡¯t know whether to slap him or kiss him or both. Why did I allow him to get to me the way he did? I opted to do neither and let him continue to lure me deeper into his den of inevitable heartbreak.


    ¡°I know I am, I know. If it makes you feel any better, I¡¯m just as confused myself. That¡¯s what I¡¯m trying to tell you.¡± Ash paused. He pulled our hands, mine still clasped inside of his, up to his chest and gazed down at me with his hypnotic eyes. His voice was stern but not harsh. ¡°I KNOW that I¡¯m a cocky bastard that isn¡¯t nearly good enough for you. I KNOW that you don¡¯t need the bullshit that comes along with me in your life. I KNOW that as hard as I try to not hurt you, I will - somehow, someway¡­ it¡¯s just what I do. And because of that, I KNOW that I need to stay away from you.¡± He stopped momentarily and gave me a genuine smile, one that radiated in his eyes. He leaned his forehead down so that it was pressed against mine and continued in a much softer, heartfelt tone. ¡°But after seeing you again tonight, I KNOW that it¡¯s impossible for me keep my distance from you. I want you¡­ no, I need you to be a part of my life. I know it sounds absurd, hell we hardly know anything about one another, but there¡¯s just something about you that tells me I need to keep you close. ¡±


    I continued to look into his eyes, mesmerized by not only his voice but the sweet words that flowed from his lips. I didn¡¯t say a word¡­ I couldn¡¯t. I was stunned silent. Ash then led us over to his bed and we climbed onto it, sitting crossed leg facing one another. He reclaimed my hands in his once we were settled and he continued talking.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about this all night,¡± he admitted. ¡°And no matter how fascinating I find you, how much I would love to touch you and kiss you¡­¡± I inhaled sharply and my body stiffened as his words triggered thoughts of his hands and mouth exploring every part of my body.


    ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± he choked. My body slouched in disappointment and I exhaled louder than I expected. ¡°Scarlett, you really do need to experience the normal life of a young adult. Nothing about that has changed. You need this period of transformation to learn about who you are, what you want. I told you that already. As much as I hate to even think about it, you need to date guys and party and act a little crazy.¡± Ash paused and looked as if he was trying to pull together the right words to express what he wanted to say next. ¡°The attraction, the connection, I feel towards you is so strong, it scares me. I¡¯m afraid if we were involved sexually, if I had a taste of that sweet innocence, I would completely consume you¡­ and that wouldn¡¯t be healthy for either of us. You need this time for yourself.


    ¡°So the only other option is for us to try to be friends,¡± he concluded.


    I pulled back from him a bit and raised my eyebrows in disbelief. ¡°Friends, huh? You really think we can just be friends?¡±


    ¡°I know that it¡¯s going to be hard¡­ really hard if I have to hang around you wearing clothes like this.¡± Ash looked down at my gray and white striped camisole and grey boy shorts in an approving manner and a devilish grin spread across his face, setting my stomach butterflies fluttering wildly again. ¡°But I¡¯d rather learn to control my sexual desires around you than not have you in my life at all.¡±


    He gave me his best puppy dog eyes and asked, ¡°So what do you say? Can we at least try this friends thing? I don¡¯t know where it will lead¡­ you may find out that I drive you absolutely insane and want nothing to do with me ever again,¡± he teased, lightening the conversation.


    ¡°Okay,¡± I agreed. ¡°We can try.¡± Even though I longed to be much more than Ash¡¯s friend, I thought about what Evie had said in the car. ¡°If there truly is some undeniable attraction between the two of you, then you guys will end up together with a magical, fairytale, happily-ever-after. But you know as well as I do that it takes a bunch of other bullshit in between to get that point - a bunch of unnecessary angst, some preventable misunderstandings, and you both need to make some ill-advised and senseless decisions. So right now, I think you should just let everything happen and stop over thinking all of it¡­¡± She was right, and I decided to let everything happen as it may. Ash and I were going to be friends¡­ it should be a learning experience, if nothing else.


    ¡°Thank you for giving this a shot. I hope I don¡¯t fuck it up,¡± he said.¡°I really don¡¯t have any female friends other than Jess and Meg. I¡¯ve known Jess from grade school, she¡¯s like my sister - no matter how much I piss her off, she can¡¯t ever get rid of me. And then Meg, well, it wasn¡¯t like there was any option what type of relationship we were going to have.¡± I chuckled at the thought of Ash trying to hit on Meg.


    ¡°Well, you¡¯ll be my first guy friend, so hopefully I don¡¯t mess it up either.¡± I smiled up at him. I knew that I was playing with fire spending time with Ash, but I tried to convince myself that as long as I stayed on the outside, far enough away the flames, I wouldn¡¯t get burned. As long as our relationship didn¡¯t turn sexual, I couldn¡¯t get too attached, therefore, I couldn¡¯t get too hurt. Yeah right, who was I kidding?


    Chapter 13


    Ash and I spent the rest of the night, or early hours of the morning rather, sitting in his bed, talking and getting to know one another. Even though Dylan and I had shared a similar conversation about our pasts, present, and futures, it seemed so much more personal with Ash, perhaps it was the intimacy of looking in each other¡¯s faces and seeing the emotion that accompanied each story or memory that made it feel that way. After we did a quick rundown of our families and our childhoods, we started talking about where we were going in life, our goals and ambitions. Of course since I had only claimed my self-independence a week and a half prior, I had no idea what I truly wanted or desired. The only thing I was sure of was that it wasn¡¯t going to be pre-law. I was surprised to say the least to learn Ash was a Physics major and a Philosophy minor. First, he didn¡¯t strike me the type to be interested in either Physics or Philosophy, I had assumed more something to do with music or art or history. Second, who the hell studies both physics and philosophy? To me, they seemed to be so different from one another; I couldn¡¯t imagine a career that incorporated both fields of study. When I told Ash how weird I thought his choices were, he explained it as if it made perfect sense.


    ¡°It¡¯s the fact that they are so different, that makes it work for me - it¡¯s like they balance me. Physics is the study of reality. It¡¯s matter and motion and energy¡­ and all of the natural laws that explain why the universe behaves the way it does. It¡¯s all physical, no pun intended. Philosophy, on the other hand, is the study of belief and reason. It tries to understand and explain the meaning of why things happen. It¡¯s all mental.


    ¡°In Ancient Greece, to study one was to study the other, especially pre-Socrates. The men who combined these two disciplines were called physiologoi, or natural philosophers. Physics is the what and philosophy is the why, and it¡¯s the combination of the two that fuel my love for astrophysics.¡±


    ¡°Astrophysics?¡± I asked incredulously, wrinkling my nose. ¡°Are you some kind of closet genius or something?¡±


    He threw his head back in laughter and shook it from side to side. He looked downright edible at that moment and I had to restrain myself from leaning towards him and licking his neck. Friends¡­ I reminded myself. Ugghhh¡­ I needed a session with BOB as soon as we got home.


    ¡°No, no genius here,¡± his playful voice broke me from my inappropriate daydream. ¡°I¡¯ve just always been obsessed with stars and planets and space in general. Where my sister lives in California, you can see thousands upon thousands of stars almost every night - it¡¯s spectacular. I used to spend a month every summer with her and with not much to entertain me, I started reading books to learn everything I could about them. I seriously became infatuated with everything astronomy related.¡± Ash gave me a funny look and tilted his head slightly, but continued, ¡°And now it¡¯s what I hope to do for a career, but it¡¯s a very tough field to get into. More than likely, if I¡¯m lucky, I will get hired on as a research assistant for some project and just hope to learn as much as I can and move my way up.¡±

 Page 16

    ¡°Why the funny look?¡± I questioned curiously.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. I¡¯ve never talked about my stars with anyone else before. I know most people could really give two shits about the ball of gasses that just seem to hang out in the night¡¯s sky.¡± I loved the way he called them his stars, showing his passion and possessiveness.Advertisement


    For the first time since I had met him, Ash had a look of vulnerability on his face. I could tell talking about this aspect of his life made him uncomfortable and I wondered why. Running through possible explanations in my head, my best guess was that his parents didn¡¯t approve of his career choice.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s fascinating and anytime you want to ramble on to me about your celestial girlfriends, I would love to learn more about them.¡± I teased.


    ¡°Okay, well don¡¯t say I didn¡¯t you warn you the next time I spend an hour explaining to you about how interesting plotting the movement of a meteor is okay?¡± His dimpled smile was warm and inviting, and again I had to refrain from touching or kissing him.


    I quickly changed the subject, hoping to deter my non-friendlike thoughts. ¡°Why do you call me Butterfly even though you know I hate nicknames?¡±


    ¡°Well, first, I could give two shits if you like my nickname for you or not.¡± He teased with a big goofy grin. But then Ash¡¯s smile turned more heartfelt as his aquatic eyes looked sincerely into mine. ¡°There could not be a better portrayal of you, Scarlett, than a butterfly. Butterflies symbolize various things across different cultures; however, the most common association is that of metamorphosis, or a time of transformation and change. Scarlett, you know better than anyone and like we¡¯ve talked about, this is your time of metamorphosis. You are finally breaking free of that tight chrysalis that your parents had you so tightly wrapped in and spreading your wings to fly. I know it sounds so clich¨¦, but in your case, it could not be more true.


    ¡°Other symbolic meanings for the butterfly include beauty, tenderness, appreciation, tranquility, and peace. All of these are words that describe you and the aura that surrounds you.¡± Was this guy for real? Friends, huh?


    ¡°Wow, that was kind of deep,¡± was the first thing I could come up with to say. Then I pulled myself together from the semi-melted state his intoxicating voice had left me in and I continued, ¡°I am very impressed by your expansive knowledge of butterfly symbolism. You have been one surprise after another tonight, Mr. Walker.¡±


    ¡°Is that so, Miss MacGregor? I hope they have all been pleasant surprises.¡± He over exaggerated an eyebrow waggle and I hit him in his arm to stop, but my laughter just encouraged him more.


    ¡°So what was that other name you called me last weekend?¡± I asked breaking up our game of making funny faces at each other. Ash gave me a questioning look as if he really didn¡¯t know what I was referring to.


    ¡°Psyche or something like that?¡± I offered hoping he would know what I was talking about and immediately, he broke our gaze and looked down at our hands, still clasped together between us. He was blushing and I loved it - for once I had either embarrassed him or at least made him uncomfortable.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t remember saying that out loud,¡± he confessed and then stood silently.


    ¡°Sooo¡­ are you going to tell me now? Or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?¡± I tried to joke in hopes it would relieve his uneasiness a bit.


    He took a deep breath and began. ¡°I know this is going to sound unbelievable cheesy¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, come on¡­ I¡¯m a girl, I like cheesy,¡± I assured him.


    ¡°Okay, the story of Eros and Psyche is a Greek myth that carried over to the Roman mythology as well, where it was told as Cupid and Psyche; some people claim it¡¯s the world¡¯s first fairy tale. It¡¯s actually one of my favorite of all the myths. You should look it up and read it sometime, I think you would enjoy it. It¡¯s a tale of undying eternal love and the many hurdles and obstacles that Eros and Psyche had to overcome to find their happily ever after.¡± He returned his eyes to mine and I was completely spellbound. He continued, ¡°Psyche is the term the Greeks use for butterflies, but the name Psyche in Greek literally means soul. Thus the butterfly, based on this epic love story, is commonly used to depict the immortality of the human soul.


    ¡°Psyche is often portrayed in drawings and sculptures as beautiful human girl with butterfly wings. So obviously¡­¡± The crimson color darkened in his cheeks again, ¡°when I first thought of how similar you are to a butterfly, both physically and emotionally, I envisioned you as Psyche.¡± His eyes dropped to his lap and a small embarrassed smile played on his full lips.


    Dumbfounded by the entire conversation, the only thing that came to my head to say was, ¡°Well, obviously.¡±


    Ash lifted his eyes back to mine and the small embarrassed smile turned into a wide mischievous grin. ¡°Are you making fun of me?¡±


    I shook my head no but as he quickly moved from his sitting position on the bed up unto his knees, I knew I was in trouble. Seconds later, it was like a replay of the last time I was on Ash¡¯s bed and I was pinned on my back as he tickled me relentlessly.


    ¡°You know, either you are making fun of me or you¡¯re lying about not doing it¡­ either way, you¡¯re in big trouble and need to be punished.¡± His words were playful and lighthearted, but when he said the word punished, my body stiffened as images of handcuffs and riding crops fluttered through my head. I really needed to have sex¡­ soon. I tried to recover quickly, hoping he didn¡¯t notice my reaction, but I wasn¡¯t so lucky.


    He stopped tickling me and his voice softened, ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I said something that upset you.¡± I was still lying flat on my back and he still had both of my hands pinned above my head with one of his. His face hovered over mine and he looked into my eyes for answers. ¡°Did your parents used to hit you?¡± His voice was soft and his eyes were filled with genuine concern.


    ¡°What?¡± I looked at him as if he had grown a second head. Where in the world did that come from? ¡°Uh, no. They¡¯ve actually never hit me in my life, spanking or otherwise. Why did you ask me that?¡±


    ¡°Well, when I said something about you being punished you froze like you were scared or something¡­ I don¡¯t know, I just thought since your parents are all controlling and shit¡­¡±


    Now it was my turn to be mortified. I wasn¡¯t quite sure how to explain why I reacted that way, or if I even should. There he was concerned that I had been abused as a child while I was fantasizing about a hidden red room of pain.


    ¡°Why are you blushing?¡± Ash asked, his face turned curious. ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing. Can we just drop it?¡± I pleaded. But of course he wouldn¡¯t let it go. After continuous badgering, I finally admitted, ¡°Look, when you said you would punish me, the image of you spanking me ran through my head and I¡­¡± I stopped talking when he released my hands and rolled away from me on the bed.


    Ash faced the opposite direction so that I was staring at his bare back as his legs swung down to the floor. ¡°You can¡¯t say things like that Scarlett,¡± he whispered in a raspy voice. ¡°It¡¯s hard enough as it is to be around you and not touch you.¡±


    ¡°I know. I¡¯m sorry. But the next time I don¡¯t want to tell you something, don¡¯t force me to. I don¡¯t want to lie to you.¡± I replied. He just continued to sit there facing away from me so I moved to get off the bed. ¡°I just need to get laid soon,¡± I mumbled to myself under my breath. Ash shot off the bed and around the room to where he was standing directly in front of me.


    ¡°What did you just say?¡± He growled in a low voice. He leaned in towards me so that his face was close to mine. His eyes were an angry dark ocean blue. Why in the world was he so mad?


    Pissed off by his angry tone, I repeated what I said in my best bitchy voice. ¡°I said that I need to get laid. Not that it¡¯s any of your business.¡± Ash closed his eyes and pressed his lips together as if he was keeping himself from saying something we would regret.


    ¡°Scarlett,¡± he began. ¡°You¡¯re right, this isn¡¯t any of my business. But as your friend, I would like to give you some advice. You can take it or leave it, either way we are still friends, okay?¡± I nodded at him.


    ¡°Please don¡¯t just sleep with any guy that you meet. At least make it special, you know, at least have feelings for him¡­¡± Ash put his finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. ¡°Can you do that for me, butterfly?¡± Even though his touch and his words made me feel like putty inside, I knew that I could not fall under his spell again. I wasn¡¯t going to set myself up to feel hurt every Sunday morning.


    ¡°I¡¯m not making any promises in the event of any crazy drunken nights, but I¡¯ll try real hard not to while sober,¡± I said half-joking and in an attempt to lighten the mood. ¡°And can we please change the subject?¡±


    ¡°Actually, its 4:30 in the morning and we need to get some sleep.¡± He grinned down at me obviously wanting to move past the awkward moment as well. However, instead of sleeping in his bed and risking another lecture by Evie, I told him that I was going to sneak back into Jess¡¯ bed and hope neither of them missed me being gone. He appeared to be a bit disappointed at first, which of course made me silently happy, but we both knew that it was best that we didn¡¯t lie down together.


    He pulled me into a big hug and held me close for quite some time. I tried so hard not to think about ripping his clothes off and exploring each and every inch of his body. Being pressed against his hard chest, engulfed in his heavenly man scent, and having his arms wrapped around my waist was nearly my undoing. He kissed the top of my head tenderly and whispered ever so softly, ¡°Good night sweet Psyche, my beautiful butterfly.¡±


    ¡°Good night, Ash.¡± I had never felt so happy.


    Chapter 14


    As soon as we got in Evie¡¯s car the following morning, I knew something was off. I could feel her anxiety, but I had no idea what had her so worked up. She had seemed fine inside the house.


    ¡°So are you going to tell me what¡¯s wrong or are you just going to huff and puff in misery alone over there?¡± I asked her. ¡°Is it something with Anthony?¡±


    ¡°Anthony? Uh no¡­ there¡¯s nothing with him one way or another. He was for the contest purposes only, so not my type.¡± Evie scrunched her nose like something smelled bad.


    ¡°You¡¯re so bad, you had that poor boy following you around like a puppy last night.¡±


    Evie shrugged her shoulders, ¡°Which is exactly why he didn¡¯t do it for me¡­ Anyways, that¡¯s not it.


    ¡°Look Sam, I¡¯m only going to say this one time because I wouldn¡¯t be a good friend if I didn¡¯t.¡± She turned and looked at me. I guess my sneaking back in bed wasn¡¯t as stealth as I had thought. ¡°I don¡¯t think that Ash is the right guy for you, at least not right now. I wish you would reconsider getting involved with him because I¡¯m afraid you¡¯re going to get hurt. I know that you are going to do whatever you want to do, whatever feels right for you¡­ and that¡¯s important too. You now get to make these decisions for yourself, but just remember, you¡¯ll have to deal with the consequences too.¡±

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    ¡°But earlier you said if it was meant to be¡­¡± I whined.


    ¡°I know what I said,¡± she snapped at me. I drew back from her, stunned at the angry tone directed at me. ¡°But damn it Scarlett, this is going to end bad, I just know it! You¡¯ve got to stay away from him, even if that means we stop going over there on Saturdays.¡±Advertisement


    I couldn¡¯t believe she had yelled at me, she had never raised her voice at me before. It felt awful. ¡°We don¡¯t have to stop going over there,¡± I said quietly looking down at my hands. ¡°Look¡­ nothing happened. We are just going to try being friends.¡±


    ¡°Friends?!?¡± she barked. ¡°Last Sunday, y¡¯all were going to have no relationship whatsoever. This Sunday, you are going to be friends. Next Sunday, what? You¡¯ll be friends that make out? How many Sundays until he¡¯s fucking you, Scarlett?¡± she glared at me, but obviously wasn¡¯t finished with her rant. ¡°That¡¯s all he¡¯s interested in Scarlett, you know that right?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not true,¡± I tried to argue. ¡°It¡¯s different.¡± Tears welled up in my eyes threatening to spill over in a waterfall.


    ¡°It¡¯s different because he wants you to think it¡¯s different. He¡¯s a self-absorbed asshole that sleeps with anything that walks, and you are just more appealing to him because you¡¯re an innocent little virgin that he wants to corrupt. Once he gets what he wants, he won¡¯t have any use for you and he¡¯ll move on to this next challenge.¡±


    ¡°Shut up!¡± I yelled back at her. ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about. It is different. Why can¡¯t you just be supportive of me? You of all people should know that¡¯s what I need.¡±


    Evie didn¡¯t respond. We pulled up to the dorm and we both got out of the car silently. Once inside the dorm, we each went in to our own rooms, doors closed behind us. After a shower, I felt better physically but my mind kept replaying the argument between Evie and I like a broken record. We had never been mad at each other before and I just couldn¡¯t take another minute of it. I marched out of my room and across the living area to hers. Without knocking, I barged in to find her hidden in her pillows. She looked up at me, her cheeks stained with tears.


    ¡°Look¡­ I¡¯m sorry and I love you,¡± I began my apology. ¡°There isn¡¯t a person or a thing on this earth that¡¯s worth you being mad at me.¡±


    Suddenly Evie erupted from her pillow volcano like hot lava and lunged towards me. We held each other in a tight embrace. ¡°I love you too¡± was the only thing she said and I sighed in relief. We didn¡¯t need to talk about it anymore, our mutual forgiveness was understood.


    She climbed back in her bed and grabbed her book. ¡°I¡¯m not sure what the deal is but it¡¯s like every other book I¡¯ve read since we¡¯ve been here reminds me of you. First the whole Taking Chances thing, and now I¡¯m reading Ruining Me and I can¡¯t help but notice the similarities between your situation and this chick¡¯s. Have you read it?¡± I shook my head no, still just thankful that we had moved past our first disagreement. I hated thinking that Evie was upset with me; I could not even fathom what my life would be like without her.


    ¡°So this girl in the book, Jay, she¡¯s got these three guys she¡¯s involved with¡­ the good boy that she knows is best for her, the mysterious guy that she feels a weird connection with, and then a bad boy rocker that she uses as an escape,¡± Evie paused. ¡°We both know which roles Dylan and Ash fill¡­¡±


    ¡°So all I¡¯m missing is my bad boy rocker?¡± I lifted my eyebrows at her and smirked.


    ¡°That¡¯s how I¡¯m seeing it.¡± Her eyes glimmered with mischief and I could already see the wheels turning in her head. ¡°That girl, Mina, in my PolySci class, mentioned her boyfriend was the drummer in some local rock band. I may need to find out where and when they are playing next so we can make an appearance. We may need to find you a Rhye.¡±


    ¡°A Rhye?¡± I asked confused.


    ¡°Yeah, Rhye is the rocker boy in Ruining Me,¡± Evie explained. ¡°But it can be any of our rocker book boyfriends¡­ Kellan, Shane, Jake, Trey¡­ whoever you fancy.¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯m guessing you¡¯ll be looking forward to this BB challenge as well?¡± I knew damn well that tattooed rocker boys were Evie¡¯s weakness.


    ¡°Let¡¯s just say, I won¡¯t be holding back for your sake,¡± she replied and winked at me.


    When I returned to my room, I was still feeling a bit of regret over the argument. The guilt from that soon brought my thoughts to my parents, and before I could overanalyze what I was planning to do, I picked up my cell and dialed my mom.


    The conversation didn¡¯t go quite as well as I hoped. I was upset that they hadn¡¯t even attempted to contact me in ten days, they were upset that I hadn¡¯t called to apologize and grovel for their forgiveness. We argued, neither side listening to the other, and in the end, not much had changed with where our relationship stood, but I did agree to email at least once a week to let them know I was safe. I immediately called my brother to unload on him about how crazy our parents were, as if he didn¡¯t already know. I also talked to Alyssa, which absolutely made my day. I couldn¡¯t believe how big she sounded and we made plans for a princess tea party when I visited at Thanksgiving. It would be the only reason that I looked forward to going home.


    Chapter 15


    The next couple of months continued on in similar fashion. School was, well it was school. I wasn¡¯t studying anything that I felt particularly passionate about, so it was hard to get too excited about it. Evie helped to keep me focused and motivated and we made it through the first round of exams with A¡¯s and B¡¯s. She finally went to the doctor about her headaches that had increased in occurrences and learned she needed glasses. She pulled off the hot school girl look amazingly. Dylan and I continued to text and talk during the week. He began picking me up on Saturday afternoons so that we could have a dinner date before going to the weekly get-together. Physically, he was taking things very slow, painfully slow actually. When we kissed it was passionate and occasionally he would allow his hands to caress my body, but when I would respond by pressing my body up against his and moaning in want, he would separate us and tell me that I needed to stop before he couldn¡¯t control himself. I didn¡¯t want him to control himself and when I told him as much, but he would just chuckle and tell me I wasn¡¯t ready. It was actually starting to piss me off and combined with platonic, friend-only Saturday nights/ Sunday mornings I spent with Ash my sexual frustration was building to an inevitable explosion.


    During the one night a week that Ash and I spent together, we had the best time talking and just hanging out. We discussed everything under the sun, played music for one another, and laughed at each other¡¯s ridiculous jokes. The only physical contact we had was when we slept. Despite how we would fall asleep separated from one another, we would always wake up a tangled mess of limbs. Most mornings his undeniable erection would be pressed against my belly or back and it took all of my resolve to not reach out and touch him, but I refrained, scared to screw up the comfortable relationship that we had settled in to. Instead I would just sliver my body out from under his and kiss his forehead goodbye. We would text occasionally during the week, nothing consistent though, and I never texted him unless he initiated the conversation. I was determined not to be the pathetic girl that pined for the boy she couldn¡¯t have.


    Evie and I never discussed my nights spent with Ash again. I didn¡¯t flaunt that I was doing something that she didn¡¯t approve of in front of her face, and she refrained from chastising me for making a bad decision. I knew how she felt about the situation, she had made her concerns quite clear, but I also knew how I felt when I was around Ash. At the time, our friendly arrangement seemed to be working. I got used to seeing him make out with a different blonde each week at Jacob and Nathan¡¯s, and I actually kind of liked that it was never the same girl. It would¡¯ve bothered me more to know that he was interested enough in a girl to bring her around a second time. He seemed to accept the idea of me being with Dylan as well, he never said otherwise if he didn¡¯t. Neither of us asked each other about our romantic/ sexual relationships, past or present. It was the one subject we didn¡¯t approach. Other than discussing Dylan, I wouldn¡¯t have had too much to talk about anyways, and I was scared that he could¡¯ve talked continuously for days and still missed some of the girls he had been with. While at the party, we would often catch each other staring at one another, but I always broke the gaze afraid Dylan would catch us. He was already suspicious of Ash after the way he acted so possessive the first night I had met them both, and even though Dylan and I weren¡¯t exclusive, at least not that we had discussed, I didn¡¯t think he would appreciate the fact that each Saturday after spending the evening with him, I went straight to Ash¡¯s bed. Even though it wasn¡¯t like that, it probably still wouldn¡¯t settle well.


    One Thursday afternoon in early November, Evie came bouncing up to me on the sidewalk as we met after class to walk to our dorm. The weather had started cooling down and the oppressive humidity was dissipating; it had become quite pleasant and refreshing to walk around and spend time outside. She had a huge smile plastered across her face and I knew she was dying to tell me her good news.


    ¡°Tomorrow night we have a book boyfriend challenge and it¡¯s going to be awesome,¡± she sang. I raised my eyebrow in interest.


    ¡°Go on, you¡¯ve got my attention.¡±


    ¡°Mina invited us to go with her to listen to her boyfriend¡¯s band play!¡± She squealed in excitement. ¡°They are playing at some warehouse where there¡¯s supposed to be like three or four different local bands performing. I am so excited!¡± Unable to contain her enthusiasm for a chance to meet a sexy musician, she then started doing a ridiculous dance on the sidewalk and I pretended like I was trying to escape her embarrassing antics by running away. She chased after me and tackled me to the ground. People around us stopped to make sure we were just playing as we rolled around in the grass, but we soon couldn¡¯t move due to our uncontrollable laughter. I laughed until tears were running down my face and my side hurt and I had to walk the rest of the way hunched over on one side with black streaks marking my face.


    ¡°You know, you really need to get laid,¡± I told her once I caught my breath. ¡°How long has it been now?¡±


    ¡°Way too fucking long,¡± Evie snarled her lip up in disgust. She had met a few guys around campus and at the Saturday night shindig, as we had started referring to it as, but no one that she was interested in seeing more than a couple of times. Her sexual encounters had been about the equivalent of mine since we had been in Houston, except for the fact that I slept in bed with Ash once a week. Even though there was never anything sexual going on when we did, it was rather intimate and I knew it was something that Evie missed. ¡°But don¡¯t you worry, I plan to take care of that problem tomorrow night.¡± She gave me an wicked look and continued, ¡°I¡¯m just going to go ahead and let you know now that unless you plan on giving up your V-card to an absolute stranger at this thing tomorrow, you have no chance in winning our contest. You may as well plan on buying me breakfast Sunday morning because I will not be denied. I am going to strain a muscle in my wrist soon from gripping my damn vibrator so tight. I went ahead and bought a multi pack of those batteries that it takes. The woman that checked me out kept looking at me like she knew what I was buying them for¡­ of course she knew, what else takes that damn size battery? Nothing, that¡¯s what! They might as well just call them ¡®vibrator batteries¡¯ on the package and come with a sticker that says ¡®Needs a Good Fuck.¡¯¡±

 Page 18

    I couldn¡¯t help but laugh at the rant she had gone off on. ¡°It¡¯s okay, Evie. Calm down. We will go and find you a sex stud tomorrow. You really do need to get some and get it out of your system. I¡¯ve noticed your book selection as of late have been moving further away from young adult and closer to pure erotica, so I figured you were looking for some good material.¡±


    The following 24 hours crawled by as Evie and I anxiously awaited our big night out. I wasn¡¯t quite sure what to wear to something like this so I allowed Evie to dress me; however, I retained veto power over her selections. She was finally getting to wear her red and black striped hoochie momma dress which she paired with knee high black heeled boots. She looked even more amazing than usual with her jet black hair piled in a messy bun held together with black chopsticks. I wanted to wear pants so she dressed me in distressed skinny jeans paired with a sheer black top and my black and red lace bra underneath. Evie and I argued over what shoes I was going to wear. I wanted flip flops, she wanted stilettos. We compromised with sparkly black ballet flats. I kept my hair down and straight, I felt a little less vulnerable when it was down, almost like it was a layer of protection of sorts. I was a little apprehensive about the rather provocative way in which I was dressed, but Evie assured me that I looked great and that we would fit in just fine. I had no choice but to trust her. At 9:00 sharp, we headed out the door and were off to pick up Mina.Advertisement


    Chapter 16


    Mina lived with her parents about 20 minutes away from campus. Our picking her up and meeting her parents provided her an easy alibi since she was planning on staying the night at her boyfriend Noah¡¯s apartment. I was glad to see that Mina was dressed similar to how Evie and I were, she wore black skinny jeans, a metallic silver top, and black stilettos. I had met Mina several times at the campus coffee shop and library, but I had never realized how pretty she really was until then. Her naturally blonde hair laid in perfect curls just past her shoulder blades and her stunning blue eyes shimmered against her top. After quick introductions with her parents, we rushed out the door excited for what the night would bring.


    A half an hour later we were paying the door man our $20 cover charge to get into the warehouse in the middle of nowhere. The doorman was Mina¡¯s brother¡¯s friend who got us in as 21, but couldn¡¯t do anything about the entrance fee. Even though Mina bitched about it to him, I didn¡¯t mind much because I hoped that we wouldn¡¯t have to buy many of our own drinks throughout the night.


    Based on the outer appearance of just a metal rectangular shaped warehouse, I wasn¡¯t quite sure what to expect when we went inside, but surprisingly, the dimly lit space looked like what I assumed a regular club would look like. Bars lined the two walls to my left and right; a good-sized stage was centered against the back wall; the main area was filled with tables and chairs with the exception of the small open space directly in front of the stage that was currently being used as a dance floor; there was a door leading to what looked like a hallway on one side of the room; and there were several pool tables set off to the other side. The place was pretty full, all of the pool tables were in use and there were only one or two open bar tables.


    Before I had an opportunity to look around anymore, Mina grabbed mine and Evie¡¯s hands and drug us off towards a group of people seated at some tables that had been pushed together. People stopped to look at the three of us as we made our way across the room, it was impossible not to notice. I thought we may have resembled Charlie¡¯s Angels ~ the striking blonde, the bad-ass Asian, and the mysterious brunette. Even though I wasn¡¯t really mysterious at all, it was the best I could come up with for myself¡­ the ¡®boring brunette¡¯ just didn¡¯t have the same ring.


    As soon as we reached the table, Mina jumped in the lap of who I assumed was Noah and started making out with him wildly. The whole table cheered at them which caused Mina to start laughing and break the kiss. She then introduced us to Noah, who was just as nice as he was good-looking.


    ¡°It¡¯s so nice to meet you both,¡± he said as he shook both my and Evie¡¯s hands. He then looked over at Mina and told her, ¡°I¡¯m not sure I¡¯m going to approve of you hanging out with the likes of these two ladies. The three of you beautiful women together will be nothing but trouble.¡±


    ¡°You know I don¡¯t need any help finding trouble. I found you didn¡¯t I?¡± she teased while kissing his neck.


    Noah laughed and moved her mouth to his. ¡°Yes, you did, you naughty girl,¡± he said against her lips.


    Seeing the two of them together made me so hopeful, yet so envious too. I could see how much they truly enjoyed being with one another, they were adorable together.


    ¡°Hey Mina, are you going to introduce your friends to the rest of us?¡± one of the other guys at the table called out. ¡°I¡¯m sure they didn¡¯t come with you to watch you and funny boy there kiss and make goo-goo eyes all night.¡±


    ¡°Oh, right! Sorry guys,¡± she said as she jumped off Noah¡¯s lap. She then walked us around the table introducing us to the rest of Noah¡¯s bandmates and friends. However after the first or second introduction, I stopped processing the names and faces because I caught sight of the lead singer of the band that was currently on stage. In the excitement of our arrival, I had barely noticed the band on the stage and the group of people gathered in front of them as well as the loud music that filled the room, but my brain had been on such a sensory overload, I had failed to notice just how incredibly hot the front man was. I somehow made my way around the table, I think I had met a Max, a Seth, and a Justin, but I couldn¡¯t be sure about those and had no clue on the rest. Several of them had girls in their laps or by their sides and I didn¡¯t remember any of their names either.


    When we got back to where Noah was sitting, he had beers and stools waiting for us and he explained to us the setup for the night. This was only 32 Leaves¡¯ fourth time playing here, but Noah explained it was quickly becoming one of their preferred spots because of the older crowd and the overall chillness of the place.


    I tried very hard to pay attention to the conversation that was going on around me but I kept finding my attention and eyes tuned in on the guy holding the microphone. I was awestruck. He was tall, probably six-five or six-six, and his defined muscles were on display via the sopping wet black t-shirt was plastered to his chest. His dark hair was shaved close to his head and tattoos covered both arms and crawled up the front and back of his neck. Small piercings in each nipple were also evident through the thin cotton shirt that clung to him.


    Mina leaned over close to my ear and said, ¡°He¡¯s pretty amazing, huh.¡± It was more a statement of fact than a question and I nodded without breaking my focus.


    ¡°I think I¡¯m in love,¡± I murmured only loud enough for her to hear.


    ¡°You, me, and every other girl in here,¡± she chuckled.


    And at that moment, as if he heard our conversation over the loud music and across the crowded room, he turned in our direction, locked his eyes with mine and flashed me a wicked grin. Instantly, I looked away, mortified that he had caught me staring at him.


    A few moments later Mina said, ¡°He¡¯s still looking at you, ya know?¡± I shook my head no and kept my gaze on my drink that sat on the table in front of me.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure he¡¯s looking at someone else,¡± I replied .


    She just shook her head at me and laughed. ¡°Ok-ay, well in case it was you that he was eyeing and you end up talking to him later, I¡¯ll tell you what I know about him. His name is Mason but everyone calls him Rat.¡± She made an ugly face when she said the nickname which mirrored my thoughts exactly. ¡°His brother owns this place and he¡¯s basically treated like a rock God around here. When their band, Jobu¡¯s Rum, isn¡¯t playing, him and his boys sit at those reserved tables over there, and there¡¯s always a herd of groupies surrounding them.¡± Mina motioned her head towards a collection of tables that were positioned perfectly in between the bar and the pool tables and that also had an unobstructed view of the stage.


    ¡°I came here a handful of times with my brother before Noah and the guys got this gig, so I¡¯ve been here maybe ten times or so and he¡¯s always here, always with a different girl, sometimes more than one in the same night,¡± she continued. ¡°Not that I can blame him though, if I looked and sounded like he did, I would probably be a male whore as well.¡±


    Learning that the Mason guy was one that got around was not a surprise in the least. Like Mina had said, with his looks and voice, I¡¯m sure naked women were lined up for his disposal around the clock. I turned to say something to Evie, but she had moved around the table and was engaged in a cozy conversation with one of the other members of 32 Leaves, Max was it?


    The room got a bit quieter and I noticed that Mason (I refused to refer to anyone as Rat) and Jobu¡¯s Rum had finished playing and there were some workers taking down the instruments. I then glanced over to the tables that Mina had pointed out, and I was disappointed to find that they were still empty. Feeling silly for actually looking around for a guy, I decided to do an inventory of the people in the pool area, maybe finding some other possibilities for the BB challenge. And it was then that I saw him.


    Ash and a group of five others, what appeared to be three couples, were stationed at a pool table up against the far wall. The other two couples appeared to be shooting a game of doubles while Ash sat on a barstool next to a cocktail table. A blonde girl, big surprise there, stood between his legs so that I could only see her back. Not long after I noticed them, they started making out. I had a straight shot view of his one hand buried in her long straight hair while the other caressed her back and ass. It was like a car wreck for me, and I couldn¡¯t tear my eyes away. My stomach felt as if a brick had just been dropped inside it and my mouth was free of moisture. Even after they broke the kiss and she turned around to lean her back up against his chest, seeing him tenderly stroke her arm and bury his nose in her hair made me sick. I didn¡¯t quite understand why I was freaking out so bad seeing Ash with another girl. First of all, it wasn¡¯t like I had any claim on him. I knew he dated and slept with lots of girls, all the time. Second, I saw him every Saturday evening with a different chick and not only was I obviously okay with it, but I would then crawl in bed with him hours later. Maybe that was it. Maybe because on Saturday nights I knew that I was ultimately the one that was going to be sleeping in his bed, it didn¡¯t bother me so much. Or maybe on Saturday nights because I knew what to expect, I had a chance to prepare for it.


    No matter what the reason was, the fact remained that I was overwhelmingly jealous when I had no right to be, and I was quite irritated that he was ruining my night. A night that was supposed to be free of Ash and Dylan. The longer I watched Ash and his date together, the more I thought I was going to vomit. I needed a change of scenery and a drink pronto.


    ¡°Do you want to go to the bar with me to get another drink? I don¡¯t feel like waiting for the server to come back around,¡± I asked Mina suddenly as I jumped off my stool.

 Page 19

    Instead of looking directly at me, she looked over my shoulder and said, ¡°I think you may have company.¡± A sly smile spread across her face. Afraid of who or what I was going to find, I spun around and saw the guy from the band headed my way.


    He was even more gorgeous up close and personal than he appeared up on stage, if that was even possible. Unable to see his eyes from afar, I was then able to see the unusual steel gray color and his eyelashes that were so thick and long, it almost appeared as if he wore eyeliner and mascara. His facial features were strong and masculine, a chiseled jaw line and defined high cheek bones. He had a small lip ring on his lower right lip that I instantly wanted to reach out and touch. He had changed shirts to a solid red t-shirt so that he was no longer wearing wet, sweaty clothes and he smelled like he was fresh from the shower. Throw in the vibrant, colorful tattoos that covered a good part of his upper body and voila, my dream bad boy rocker had come to life before my eyes.Advertisement


    ¡°Hey, I¡¯m Mason, but most people call me Rat,¡± he smiled and stuck his hand out to greet me. He carried himself with an aura that exuded confidence and sex. He was used to being the center of attention and had probably never been denied by a female in his life. I knew that his arrogance should have turned me off and made me run the other way, but there was something about his cockiness that I found irresistible, and his drop dead good looks didn¡¯t hurt either.


    ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Scarlett,¡± I introduced myself and shook his hand. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you, Mason.¡±


    ¡°I overheard you saying that you were headed to get a drink as I walked up. Would you be interested in joining me for one at my table?¡± he asked pointing to the area where his friends sat.


    I looked around for Evie who was watching my exchange with Mason from the lap of her newly chosen BB. I lifted my eyebrows at her and tilted my head towards the area where Mason¡¯s tables were. She nodded her head understanding the message I was trying to relay. I turned back towards Mason and grabbed my purse off the table, ¡°I¡¯d love to.¡± I tried to keep my facial expressions and body movements in check as if I did this kind of thing all the time, but inside it was like fireworks were going off. I was overflowing with excitement and anticipation and I couldn¡¯t wait to see Ash¡¯s reaction to me sitting with Mason at his table.


    Chapter 17


    The daggered looks that were shot my way from nearly every other female in the warehouse as I walked across the room hand in hand with Mason didn¡¯t end when we reached his bandmates and friends. We walked around the tables and I was introduced to the other members of Jobu¡¯s Rum - Cruz, Aaron, and Sebastian. Mason dismissed several girls that were hanging around his stool. He slid up onto it and instead of pulling an additional one up for me, he positioned us as many couples throughout the warehouse were, with me on his lap.


    It felt a little weird to be honest. I had just met this guy and I was perched on his lap like we had known each other for a while. Well at least more than five minutes. We hadn¡¯t said much to each other except our names and to determine that I wanted something to drink, but something about being with Mason felt so natural. He had no reservations about touching me in front of everyone; it was never in a disrespectful way but he had his hands on some part of my body at all times, unless they were occupied with his beer. Being with him also made me feel so bad and I found that I loved the adrenaline rush.


    Once we were comfortably settled with our drinks and before saying another word, he grabbed both sides of my face in his hands, looked into my eyes, and pulled my mouth to his. The kiss was much softer and gentler than I had expected. His lips felt like silk up against mine and his tongue teased ever so lightly as he traced my lips, requesting entrance to my mouth. I involuntarily groaned and my lips parted allowing him easy access to my complete seduction. I could feel the metal ring on his bottom lip pressed against mine and I couldn¡¯t help but run my tongue over it. The guy oozed with pure, unadulterated sex. I was so out of my league.


    He moved his hands down to my neck and broke the kiss, but kept his face close enough that his nose was nearly touching mine. ¡°Why did you look away from me earlier?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I guess I was embarrassed that you caught me watching you,¡± I admitted shyly.


    ¡°Embarrassed, huh?¡± He kissed me again and laughed softly against my mouth. ¡°That¡¯s a new one.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I pulled back from him just a little bit more so that I could get a better read on his eyes. My heart was pounding erratically in my chest and I felt a warm tingle throughout my body. My brain had turned to mush some time ago and I was having trouble processing and understanding the events of the last hour. I wasn¡¯t sure of much, but there were a few things that I knew ~ 1.) Ash was somewhere in the warehouse on a date with another girl; 2.) Dylan was not anywhere near this place, but for all I knew he could be making out with some bimbo himself because somehow I had become his Saturday-only girl; and 3.) I was sitting in the lap of a sexy ass local rock star that wanted to spend time with me and make me feel good, which in turn should¡¯ve helped me to forget about #1 and #2.


    Mason leaned back in towards me, resting his forehead on mine. My hair fanned around us, forming a shield of sorts, blocking us from those around us. ¡°Most girls, Scarlett, are dying for me to pay attention to them. They want me to catch them staring at me. And once I do glance their way, they usually do any stupid thing they can think of that will attract or seduce me. They don¡¯t look away and try to pretend that I don¡¯t exist.¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m not most girls,¡± I whispered. It wasn¡¯t meant to sound seductive, but in the low, throaty voice that it came out in, it did just that.


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I¡¯m afraid of,¡± Mason replied and then claimed my mouth with his once again, with much more force than before. It surprised me how much I liked his roughness as he pressed his lips firmly against mine and his tongue explored my mouth thoroughly. We heard hoots and hollers from others around the table along with several ¡°Get a room, Rat boy!¡± shouts. Mason and I both started laughing and broke apart to turn and face the others around the table. He gave his friends shit and teased them right back while I sat in his lap enjoying myself immensely. The only thing that I didn¡¯t like was everyone calling him ¡®Rat.¡¯ I just couldn¡¯t get used to that. It was one of the worst nicknames. Ever.


    My eyes wandered over to where Ash and his friends had been and I saw that he had noticed my presence. He looked pissed as he stood next to the pool table, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at me and Mason. I had no idea how long he had been watching me but by the look on his face, long enough to see our last kiss. I flashed him a huge smile and gave a quick nod of the head as to say hi. He frowned and turned his back towards me. His reaction delighted me on so many immature levels.


    Thinking of how I could make Ash even more jealous and bitter, I asked Mason how long of a break he had before he had to get ready for his next set. When he answered nearly two hours, I mustered up all of my inner-courage and asked him if there was somewhere we could go that was more private.


    He nodded. ¡°Yeah, are you sure?¡±


    ¡°Do you typically ask girls if they are sure when they ask to go somewhere more private with you?¡± I teased him, running my fingers in his buzzed hair. ¡°Should I rethink this?¡±


    He worked his way down my face with kisses, first my forehead and then my nose and then my mouth. ¡°Well, no, but we¡¯ve already established you aren¡¯t the norm, remember?¡± He lightly kissed my mouth again. ¡°I don¡¯t know what it is about you, but there¡¯s something different for sure, and I¡¯m going to have to keep you around until I figure it out.¡± He lifted me by the waist and set my feet on the ground so that I was standing in front of him. He then turned me so that we were facing one another and pulled my body up taut against his, his arms wrapped around my waist.


    I kissed his shoulder and then made my way up his neck until I stopped right below his ear and whispered, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± And with that he stood up, grabbed my hand and pulled me across the room to the door next to the stage. I couldn¡¯t help but look back at Ash just as I disappeared with Mason, and just as I had hoped, he eyes were still on us.


    The door opened into a well-lit hallway that led to four separate rooms. Inside the first door was an office where a dark-haired guy, who I assumed was Mason¡¯s older brother based on their striking resemblance and what Mina had told me earlier, sat behind the desk working on his laptop. Still holding my hand, Mason stopped in the doorway and waited for his brother to look up from the screen and acknowledge our presence.


    ¡°Hey Rat boy, what¡¯s up? Everything okay out there?¡± I cringed at the nickname.


    ¡°Yeah, yeah. Everything is fine. It¡¯s pretty crowded but things appear to be running smoothly,¡± Mason answered and then looked down at me. ¡°Marcus, this is Scarlett. Scarlett, this is my brother, Marcus,¡± he said and then paused for a moment so that we could both say hello to one another. ¡°We are going to chill in the suite for a bit until I have to go back on, in case anyone is looking for me.¡± Marcus lifted his eyebrow in question at Mason, then he looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders.


    ¡°I¡¯ll text you when you¡¯re thirty minutes out,¡± Marcus answered and returned his attention to the computer.


    As Mason led me down the hall, showing me the next two rooms which were dressing rooms, but more or less just rooms for the musicians to hang out in, my panic attack began to set in. What in the hell was I doing? Why was I in an empty hallway in a warehouse out in the middle of nowhere with some strange guy that I had just met less than an hour beforehand? Did I really suggest we go somewhere more private? Was he going to freak out when I didn¡¯t want to have sex with him? Did I want to have sex with him? Was Evie worried about me? Did she even realize I was gone?


    ¡°Scarlett?¡± his voiced pulled me from my anxious thoughts. We were standing in front of the last door at the end of the hallway. ¡°Do you still want to come in?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, sorry, lost in thought¡± I responded and followed him into the room.


    The place was actually much nicer than I expected. There were two queen size beds on opposite sides of the room from one another. In the center of the room was a small kitchenette and breakfast table with two chairs nestled under a flat screen tv that hung on the wall and there was one full sized bathroom. The space was clean and functional. Mason explained that the suite served as a mini-apartment for him and Marcus for nights they worked late or had too much to drink.


    ¡°And a place to bring all of your unassuming girls to?¡± I joked.


    Mason stopped walking and turned towards me. He face was serious¡­ not mad or angry, maybe even a bit concerned? ¡°I don¡¯t usually bring girls back here, this is more a space for me and Marcus to escape.¡± Well, I guess that explained the funny look Marcus gave him when he said we were coming back here. ¡°The dressing rooms are more my style for a quick fuck, and none of the girls that go in there with me are unassuming, I can guarantee you that.¡±

 Page 20

    ¡°So why did you bring me back here?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think you really wanted to come back here to fuck. I¡¯m pretty sure you were just trying to make that asshole at the pool table jealous.¡± He never stopped looking in my eyes as if he was trying to gage my reaction to the truth he spoke. ¡°Am I right?¡± Oh shit.Advertisement


    ¡°Partially,¡± I admitted. ¡°I did want to make him jealous, and I¡¯m pretty sure that it worked.¡± I smiled at him and he chuckled.


    ¡°But I also came back here so that I could kiss you¡­¡± I reached up on my tippy toes and brushed my lips against his.


    ¡°And touch you¡­¡± I splayed both of my hands on his chest.


    ¡°And tell you how hot you make me ¡­¡± I didn¡¯t get another word out before my back crashed against the wall behind me, Mason¡¯s body pinning mine up against it. I wasn¡¯t sure if my courage to actually verbalize my thoughts had come from the beer or the endorphins that pumped through my body, but nonetheless, I was quite pleased with the response that it invoked.


    We devoured each other, kissing, licking, and nipping with wild, untamed fervor. My hands moved from his hair down his broad, muscular back until I reached his waist. I lifted up his shirt so that I can feel his skin under my hands. His hands followed a similar trail on me but when he reached my waist line, he pulled the hem of my shirt up and over my head. Without waiting another second, I did the same to him. I couldn¡¯t wait to see his bare chest and arms. And holy shit, I was not disappointed. His arms, chest, and stomach were like a canvas, completely covered in ink. There was so much to take in, I wanted to explore each design thoroughly, but that would have to wait for a different time. Instead, I focused on the piercings in each nipple, reaching out, touching, and lightly pulling on each one. He was almost too beautiful with his powerful frame and strong, handsome face. So fucking perfect. As he leaned down to capture my mouth again, he flicked his lip ring with his tongue and I thought I was going to come apart on the spot. My panties were soaked. He kept one of his hands threaded through my hair which also served as a cushion so that I wouldn¡¯t bang my head on the wall. When he kissed my neck he pulled my hair forcing my head to tilt back and surprisingly, the stinging pain in my scalp turned me on incredibly. His other hand cupped my right breast and he lightly ran his thumb back and forth over the nipple that was visibly hard through the black lace. He then moved his attention to the left nipple, giving it equal treatment. I leaned my head back into his hand, closed my eyes, and arched my back, whimpering in pleasure. His mouth and tongue continued their assault down my neck to my chest until they reached my exposed nipples. I hadn¡¯t even felt him unclasp my bra, but sure enough as I looked down, it was laying on top of the shirt pile on the floor. He alternated back and forth between the two, kissing, biting, sucking¡­ driving me absolutely insane.


    The throbbing ache in between my legs was like nothing I had ever felt before. Evie had warned me it would be so much more intense than the way I felt when I would get worked up over a book or movie. She was so right, fantasy lust had nothing on real-life, in-your-face, skin-on-skin desire. I craved his touch to the point I didn¡¯t just want him, I needed him. I needed to be touched; I needed to be wanted; I needed to forget about everyone and everything except how good Mason made me feel in that moment.


    I pulled Mason¡¯s head up from my chest back to my mouth and traced his lips with my tongue until I reached the ring. I looked up at him through my long eyelashes into his smoky gray eyes and flicked it with my tongue like he had done earlier and then closed my lips lightly around it and sucked gently. It was his turn to groan and close his eyes so I took advantage of his momentary weakness by turning us around so that his back was against the wall.


    ¡°Mmmm¡­ my turn to have some fun,¡± I said as I followed the same path he did with my mouth and teasing tongue, mouth to neck to pierced nipples. His skin tasted both sweet and salty, a perfect mixture of the two. I outlined one of his tattoos with the tip of my tongue which led me further down his body until I reached his right hip bone. When I reached the end of the ink, I found myself on my knees in front of him in, shirtless and with my hands grasping his hips. I looked up at Mason and saw the need in his eyes and I moved straight for the button on his pants.


    My hands were trembling, I was so nervous. I hoped that all of my books and the damn pornos that Evie had made me watch last summer so that I would know ¡°how it¡¯s supposed to look¡± weren¡¯t going to let me down. I thought that I probably should¡¯ve practiced this on someone not so experienced my first few times, someone who might not care or realize that I don¡¯t know what the hell I¡¯m doing, but it was too late for that.


    I finally managed to get his pants unbuttoned and unzipped, and I pulled the jeans and boxers down in one motion. Again, I looked up at him, staring intimately into his eyes that continued to darken and grow heavy. Not breaking eye contact, I licked the palm of my hand and grabbed his shaft. His entire body tensed and he leaned back to distribute some of his weight on the wall. I stroked him slowly several times before I began kissing and licking his tip. The first time my mouth touched him he growled, ¡°Oh fuck, Scarlett.¡± I continued my oral appreciation of his hard cock, paying attention to his different reactions as I tried various techniques. His hands played in my hair, at times he would tenderly massage my scalp and at others he would pull my hair roughly, both of which made me feel so good. I enjoyed watching his facial expressions as I moved my mouth up and down, burying his cock into my throat. Soon we developed a rhythm of sorts and I could feel Mason¡¯s erection continue to grow. Suddenly, he pulled my head back so that I released him from my mouth. I looked up at him confused.


    ¡°Babe, I¡¯m going to come if you don¡¯t stop,¡± he said in between deep breaths.


    I cocked my head at him and asked, ¡°Isn¡¯t that the point?¡±


    ¡°I want to take care of you, I want to make you feel good, too,¡± he said through panting breaths, struggling to keep control of himself.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me right now, you can take care of that later. I¡¯m having too much fun pleasing you.¡± I grinned at him and then gave him my best puppy dog eyes. ¡°Please? Please let me finish you off with my mouth?¡± I didn¡¯t know who the hell was controlling my voice, but I think my words shocked me as much as they did him. But for some reason, I just couldn¡¯t stop. ¡°I want to know what you taste like,¡± I begged.


    ¡°Oh shit, are you fucking kidding me?¡± he moaned and stared down at me.


    I didn¡¯t wait for him to say anything more, I just grabbed his balls and wrapped my lips back around his somewhat softer cock. It didn¡¯t take long to get him back to where he was and not long after that I felt his balls get firm in my grasp and he gripped my shoulders. His hips thrust fast and hard in and out of my mouth and I could tell by the look on his face he was close. He opened his eyes and we got lost in each other¡¯s gaze as I brought him to an explosive release.


    I collapsed onto the floor in exhaustion. Who knew that giving a blow job could be so draining? Mason pulled up his pants and then scooped me up like a baby in his strong arms and carried me to his bed.


    ¡°Just rest here while I go clean up and grab you some water.¡± He kissed me softly on my swollen lips before disappearing into the bathroom. As he walked away, I couldn¡¯t help but stare at his naked back that was tattoo free other than the portion of his shoulders that were a part of the sleeves that covered both of his arms. His jeans sat low on his hips, as if they were resting comfortably on his firm ass that was just as muscular as the rest of his body. I noticed that he had removed his shoes at some point as he quietly strode across the room. I had never realized how sensual a barefoot man could be. It felt so intimate. I looked down at my feet and wondered when I had lost my shoes as well.


    It was at that point that I had a minor freak out in my head. Reality set in as I found myself lying topless and shoeless in some strange guy¡¯s secondary bedroom in a warehouse with hundreds of people just on the other side of the wall. A guy no less, that I just gave head to and swallowed his cum. I swallowed his fucking cum?!? I knew I had only had a few beers earlier so I couldn¡¯t blame my current state of senselessness on alcohol. Maybe I had officially gone insane. What was I supposed to say to him now? How was I supposed to act? Why did I feel like hyperventilating?


    I began taking deep breaths and counting backwards inside my head to calm myself. Luckily, I had gotten myself somewhat back under control before Mason made his way towards me. Just seeing him however, put all of my anxiety to rest. I should¡¯ve felt honored that the first person I got to perform a sexual act on was someone as gorgeous as him.


    He approached the bed with a bottle of water in each hand and my shirt and bra slung over his arm. He sat down next to me and dumped the contents of his hands on the covers. With a sweet smile playing at his lips, he leaned over and kissed the side of my mouth. ¡°I brought your clothes to you even though you¡¯re more than welcome to hang out without them.¡± He wiggled his eyebrows and then started laughing when I jokingly pushed him off of me and started putting my bra on. Once I was properly redressed, Mason positioned me in between his legs, so that his back was propped against the pillows and headboard and my back leaned against his shirtless chest. He handed me a water and I didn¡¯t realize how thirsty I was until the first drop of liquid hit my tongue. I drank the entire thing in less than a minute.


    ¡°Thirsty much?¡± he snickered.


    ¡°Shut up before I drink yours, too,¡± I retorted.


    ¡°After the mind-blowing treatment you just gave me, you can have anything you want.¡± He wrapped his arms tighter around me and leaned down and kissed the top of my head.


    ¡°How much longer do you have before you go on again?¡± I asked.


    He looked over at his cell that was sitting on the bedside table. ¡°I gotta head out there in about an hour. Are you going to stay and listen to us? I know you got here right before we finished up earlier.¡±


    I tilted my head up to look at him, ¡°How did you know when I got here?¡±


    ¡°I saw you walk in, silly. How could I miss you? You are quite exquisite, Scarlett.¡± Mason leaned down and kissed me tenderly. I was in so much trouble.


    I turned my head back facing forward and we sat there in comfortable silence for several minutes. He was rubbing up and down my arms with his strong hands and it felt so soothing.


    ¡°Who is he?¡± Mason broke the silence without stopping my massage. ¡°An ex-boyfriend?¡±


    I tensed a little at his questions, but quickly relaxed. I leaned my head back on his chest so that I didn¡¯t have to make eye contact with him while talking about Ash. ¡°No, he¡¯s just a friend,¡± I said, unable to keep a twinge of bitterness out of my voice.


    ¡°Do y¡¯all fuck?¡± he asked like it was no big deal.


    ¡°I said we were just friends.¡±


    ¡°I know lots of just friends that fuck, angel.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t call me angel and I don¡¯t fuck my just friends.¡±

 Page 21

    He laughed, leaned down, and snuggled into my neck after moving all of my hair to the opposite side. He kissed the sensitive skin gently. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to offend you. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    Feeling his breath and lips against my skin, made me forget why he was even apologizing. I shivered as I felt the tingles in my pussy re-awaken.Advertisement


    ¡°So why do you want to make this just friend jealous then if y¡¯all aren¡¯t hooking up? You want to be more than that?¡± he continued to press the issue but didn¡¯t stop kissing my neck and shoulder.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you find it a bit odd to talk about me wanting to be with another guy why you sit here holding and kissing me?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Not really,¡± he answered. ¡°It¡¯s actually kind of hot¡­ to think I¡¯m the lucky one back here with you while he¡¯s sitting out there wanting you like a madman. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s driving him crazy thinking about what I¡¯m doing to you.¡±


    I shook my head and grinned. ¡°You¡¯re crazy. I bet he¡¯s not even here anymore.¡±


    ¡°I guarantee you he is here. He¡¯s going to wait until he sees that I bring you back out in one piece. I saw the way he looked at you, Scarlett, and it wasn¡¯t a just friend kind of look.¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to spend my time with Mason talking about Ash, but he obviously wasn¡¯t going to let it go until he got the story. I turned around in his lap so that I could face him. ¡°Okay, the story is I met Ash right after I moved here a few months ago. We were attracted to each other, but he¡¯s a self-admitted playboy type that has no intentions of settling down anytime soon and I¡¯m¡­ well, I¡¯m not. He basically told me that I needed to explore the world and figure out who I am and all this other yada-yada. But there¡¯s this weird connection between us and we couldn¡¯t stay away from each other, so we decided to try being friends. At first it was hard, I would catch myself wanting him to kiss me when we were hanging out or he would leave his hand resting on my thigh a little too long, but it¡¯s gotten easier over time. I¡¯m used to seeing him with a different girl every time I see him. And usually it doesn¡¯t bother me, but tonight I wasn¡¯t expecting to see him here so it just kind of surprised me.¡±


    ¡°Is he not used to seeing you with other guys?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Just Dylan¡­¡± I blurted out before even thinking.


    Mason raised his eyebrows at me and smiled mischievously. ¡°Ah, so there¡¯s another poor soul I¡¯m going to have to fight off for your attention? Is this Dylan your boyfriend?¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°No, not my boyfriend. Dylan is just a guy I have a long standing date with every Saturday night. We don¡¯t see each other the rest of the week.¡± I wondered if that sounded as strange to him as it did to me as I said it aloud. ¡°Why are we talking about all of this again?¡± I asked gazing into his charcoal eyes.


    ¡°I told you, I¡¯m just trying to get an inventory of my competition.¡± He leaned over and kissed me. I seriously


    ¡°I must sound like such a slut,¡± I put my hands over my face, but Mason quickly pulled them away. I refocused on his gaze. ¡°I promise I¡¯m not¡­ I¡¯ve never even¡­¡± He froze and I stopped talking.


    ¡°You¡¯ve never even what, Scarlett?¡± he demanded. His eyes searched mine looking for answers.


    I just sat there for a minute mentally battling myself over what I should tell him. In the end, I opted for the truth. Looking him dead in the eyes, I whispered. ¡°I¡¯ve never even had sex. I¡¯m a virgin.¡±


    Chapter 18


    Mason and I sat there staring at each other for I don¡¯t know how long. Finally, I broke the silence, ¡°Well, are you going to say anything?¡± I asked sheepishly.


    ¡°Yeah, um, sorry¡­ just a little shocked,¡± he replied. He cocked his head and sucked in his lip ring like he was thinking of just the right thing to say. ¡°First, please tell me you are at least eighteen?¡±


    I nodded my head, ¡°Yes, I¡¯m eighteen. I¡¯m a freshman at Rice.¡±


    His shoulders dropped as he exhaled a sigh of relief. ¡°Okay, so explain this to me, how does a girl that looks like you make it eighteen plus years without having sex?¡± He asked incredulously. ¡°I mean I would understand if you were some religious prude or something, but judging from what just happened over there¡­¡± a smile teased the corners of his mouth he nodded his head at the wall where we had attacked one another earlier, ¡°¡­ I don¡¯t get that impression of you.¡±


    I looked over at the wall and couldn¡¯t help but smile at the recent memory too. I turned my attention back to Mason and explained. ¡°You¡¯re right, I¡¯m not a religious prude, but I did grow up with crazy-ass, controlling parents that didn¡¯t allow me to have a social life. So that, accompanied by me attending an all-girls private school, I never had the opportunity to meet any boys much less sleep with them.¡±


    ¡°So what¡¯s the story now? Where are your parents?¡±


    ¡°My parents live in San Antonio, I moved here in August with my best friend to go to school. My relationship with my parents has been pretty much non-existent since then.¡± I answered.


    ¡°And you haven¡¯t slept with anyone since you¡¯ve been here? Not Ash or Dylan or anyone else?¡±


    ¡°Nope,¡± I shook my head. ¡°It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t want to¡­ believe me, I do. I mean, I don¡¯t just want to sleep with anyone and everyone, I¡¯m not aspiring to be a whore or anything, but I don¡¯t think I need to wait to fall madly in love either. I don¡¯t live in fairytale land and think Prince Charming is going to roll up in a magical carriage anytime soon.


    ¡°Dylan won¡¯t do much more than kiss me, even if I try to do more, he keeps telling me that I need to be sure that I¡¯m ready¡­ And Ash, well, I already told you about how we are just friends.¡± I rolled my eyes at the words. ¡°Other than that, before tonight I really hadn¡¯t met anyone else, I¡¯ve just been pretty busy with school and stuff, ya know?¡±


    ¡°And tonight? Me?¡± he asked.


    ¡°And you what? Are you asking if I want to have sex with you?¡± I raised my eyebrows at him.


    ¡°Yes¡­ no¡­ well, yes and no. I guess I¡¯m just confused on what made you come back here with me. Surely that¡¯s what you thought was going to happen?¡± He continued to play with his lip ring and I couldn¡¯t tear my eyes away from his full lips. I wanted to kiss him again so bad, and I could feel the butterflies coming alive again in my lower abdomen. Feeling another surge of lust-driven courage, I crawled across the small area of bed that separated Mason and I and straddled his lap, hooking my legs around his back. I ran my hands over his head and down to the back of his neck. He stared deep into my eyes and I felt so safe.


    ¡°Honestly, I didn¡¯t know what was going to happen. I¡¯m just going with what feels right,¡± I explained. ¡°And coming here with you tonight felt right. I hope I did okay?¡± I was a little nervous that I had sucked, no pun intended, at my initial attempt at giving head.


    ¡°That was the first time you had ever done that?¡± His eyes grew wide in surprise. I nodded and looked down, embarrassed. He lifted my chin up so that I was staring in his eyes once again. ¡°Scarlett, that was way better than okay. It was¡­ I don¡¯t know the right words to do it justice¡­ incredible, mind-blowing, stupefying. I just can¡¯t believe that you did that for me when you had never¡­¡± He shook his head.


    ¡°Look, that¡¯s what I don¡¯t want,¡± I interrupted. ¡°I don¡¯t want my first time to be some production, some planned event¡­ If it so happens that I go out with a guy a few times and it slowly builds to that, great; or if it so happens that one night at a bar I meet some hot piece of ass that charms me out of my wet panties and screws me against a wall in a back hall, well then great for that too. I just want it to be a natural procession of events, like it is for everyone else. The fact that we are even talking about it right now sucks.¡±


    He closed the small gap between our faces and pressed his forehead against mine. The look in his eyes was intense and I thought he was about to say something heartfelt or meaningful, but instead he asked ¡°So you think I¡¯m a hot piece of ass, huh?¡± I pulled away from him laughing and swatted his arm.


    ¡°Who said I was talking about you? My hypothetical ¡®hot piece of ass¡¯ charmed me out of my panties, and I¡¯m pretty sure my panties have been intact the entire time I¡¯ve been in your presence.¡±


    Mason rocked his body weight forward so that I was flat on my back on the bed and he was hovering over me. Mischief glimmered in his eyes. ¡°Is that a challenge, angel?¡± I groaned and rolled my eyes at him. ¡°What?¡± he asked, confused at my sudden mood change.


    ¡°Angel? Really? What is it with all of the nicknames and people? Everyone I know has some stupid ass nickname and it drives me insane. Yours, by the way, has got to be in the top three of all-time worst ever.¡± I complained. He threw his head back in laughter.


    ¡°You¡¯re mad because I called you ¡®angel?¡¯¡± He shook his head. ¡°You are one intriguing little girl, Scarlett. I¡¯ve definitely never met one like you.¡± He leaned down and brushed my lips with his ever so lightly. Hungry for more of his touch, I moaned and arched my body into his. He pulled away slightly and tsked at me. ¡°Calm down, angel. I have got to start getting ready here in just a bit, and the next time we¡¯re together, I don¡¯t want to rush. I want to spend hours showing you how I can make your body feel.¡± He gave me a quick peck and rolled off of me and the bed in one sweeping motion. My folds had slickened at his tempting words and I growled quietly in frustration when his body left mine. I hoped there was a next time.


    ¡°So have you always hated nicknames or is that something recent?¡± he picked up our previous unfinished conversation as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.


    ¡°Always. I have some strange aversion to them.¡± I climbed off the bed and began a search for my shoes while I talked. ¡°I¡¯ve never met anyone else that feels the same way, so I guess it¡¯s my unique quality.¡± I snickered.


    ¡°I knew there was something different about you, I never would have guessed it was moniker-a-phobia.¡± he teased.


    ¡°Dare I ask where the name ¡®Rat¡¯ comes from?¡± I couldn¡¯t help but make a face every time I said it.


    ¡°My last name is Templeton,¡± Mason said like that explained everything. I looked at him blankly, clearly not making the connection.


    ¡°You know, Charlotte¡¯s Web¡­¡± he began. Instantly the image of Templeton, the rat that had gotten so fat after eating all of that food at the fair crossed my mind and I erupted in giggles. ¡°You think that¡¯s funny, huh?¡± He picked me up over his shoulder and lightly spanked my ass as he strode across the room to the door. ¡°Consider yourself lucky that I need to go now, otherwise I would make you pay for making fun of me, angel.¡± I wiggled and squirmed and kicked trying to escape his grasp, but I had no chance. Instead I laughed and started pinching his butt while he walked. It seemed that my request to not be called pet names fell on deaf ears when I talked to both him and Ash. And surprisingly, not only did it not bother me, I kind of liked it.

 Page 22

    When we made it to the door of the apartment, Mason slid me down his hard chest until I was standing in front of him, facing him. He gently pushed me against the door with his body, I could feel his cock pressing against my belly. His warm breath on my neck sent shivers down my back. He planted several soft kisses up my neck until he reached my ear. ¡°We will finish this conversation when I¡¯m done, Angel. Tell your friends that I will take you home later and meet me next to the stage when the show¡¯s over. I¡¯ve got a surprise for you, I hope you like it.¡± He continued his trail of kisses across my jaw line to my mouth. I loved the feel of the warm lips accompanied by the cool metal ring as it drug across my skin. When his mouth met mine, he kissed me with craving and desire, a promise of what was yet to come.


    Chapter 19Advertisement


    When we exited the hallway to the main warehouse, Mason went to gather up the other members of Jobu¡¯s Rum, and I walked directly over to the table where Evie and Mina still sat with the guys from 32 Leaves. Evie jumped up and ran towards me as soon as she saw me.


    ¡°Are you okay? Where in the hell have you been? What happened to you? Did you fuck him? You look like you fucked him. ¡± Her eyes ran over my appearance, doing an inventory of each hair that was out of place and looking for smudged lipstick.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, Evie. As a matter of fact, I¡¯m more than fine.¡± I smiled as I saw Mason disappear into the back with his band. ¡°And no, I didn¡¯t have sex with him, at least not yet.¡±


    Evie jumped up and down in excitement. It was like she was own personal sex cheerleader. Up until tonight, I wasn¡¯t sure who wanted me to get laid more, her or me. However, after feeling what I had earlier with Mason, my desperate want to lose the V-card definitely outweighed her hopes.


    I gave her a quick rundown of what had happened as we walked back over to Mina. She told me that she was most likely going home with Max and I let her know it was no problem since Mason would take me home later. We were both anxious to watch him perform since we had only seen the end of his first set. I knew that I would look at him completely different now, after what had happened in the apartment. I tried not to let myself get too excited. I knew that Mason, much like Ash, probably hooked up with several different girls a week. As a matter of fact, with his front man rocker image, he probably put Ash to shame. Why was it that I was insanely attracted to male whore musicians? So I knew that whatever happened or was going to happen between us, wasn¡¯t anything special to him, but I was elated nonetheless.


    As I waited for Mason and Jobu¡¯s Rum to take the stage, I found myself scanning the pool table area to see if Mason was right, that Ash had stayed. It didn¡¯t take me long to find his messy, long sun-kissed hair in the crowd. He was standing against the wall while his date mauled him from the front. Even though they were locked in a kiss and she was pawing him frantically, his eyes were open and staring across the room, directly at me. I rolled my eyes at him, still irritated he was even here. He closed his eyes and I saw his hands weave in blondie¡¯s hair, as if he was suddenly interested in the skank in front of him. Whatever.


    Nearly thirty minutes later, I finally heard Mason¡¯s deep voice echo throughout the warehouse. I immediately turned to look at him and loved that he was staring directly at me, smiling. I shot him my biggest smile back and he began his performance. I didn¡¯t recognize the majority of their songs, and based on the raw emotion I heard in his voice while he sang each lyric, I assumed he had written most of them. When it seemed like they were wrapping up the set, the music stopped and Mason grabbed the microphone off the stand and addressed the crowd.


    ¡°¡¯I hope everyone¡¯s having the fucking time of their life tonight, I know that I am,¡± He yelled and then paused as everyone started screaming and shouting. He rewarded them with his flirtatious grin. ¡°That¡¯s what I like to hear. Alright, well before we call it a night we are going to play a few extra songs for you. This is a little different from what we usually do; it¡¯s a little old school, but I think you¡¯ll recognize most of them.


    ¡°You know,¡± he continued, his voice growing softer and more serious. ¡°Every so often in life, you randomly cross paths with someone that touches you in a way that you really can¡¯t explain, but somehow you know that you will never be the same again. A person that is unknowingly, so incredibly beautiful, both inside and out, that they truly take your breath away. Recently, I met someone exactly like that. As a matter of fact, I¡¯m still not convinced that she isn¡¯t an angel here to protect me from myself and the rest of you crazies.¡± He chuckled and the crowd cheered again. I heard one girl scream, ¡°I¡¯ll protect you, Rat!¡± Another panty-dropping smile. ¡°No, seriously though, these next few songs are for my angel. I hope the rest of you find your angel someday. Just remember, don¡¯t let go when you do, even if they try to fly away.¡±


    Up until this point, he had not even glanced in my direction while he was speaking. However, right before the drummer began the first song, he looked directly at me, winked, and turned my body to jello with one smile. ¡°Enjoy, Angel.¡± Evie and Mina were both staring at me with their mouths opened. I looked at both of them and shrugged my shoulders in disbelief myself. Evie whispered in my ear, ¡°Are you a witch? I think you put spells on boys.¡± I snorted and shook my head.


    Mason opened with The Doors¡¯ ¡°Hello I Love You.¡± I sat in awe, not moving my eyes from the gorgeous singer serenading me in front of a room full of people. I didn¡¯t dare look in Ash¡¯s direction, I would not allow him to ruin this for me. I had never felt so wanted in my life.


    I fell a little more for Mason with each verse that he sang during a grunged-up version of ¡°Brown Eyed Girl.¡± He would occasionally look around the room at the other guests, but for the most part his gaze stayed locked on me. I was euphoric.


    The music paused once again and Mason lifted the mic to his lips. ¡°Okay, last two for the night everyone. Let¡¯s liven it up a little, everyone on your feet¡­ feel free to join me.¡±


    He belted out the opening lines to ¡°Pour Some Sugar On Me¡± and those who weren¡¯t standing prior, jumped to their feet. Mason and the band were having a blast as was everyone else in the warehouse, singing at the top of their lungs and dancing. He was no longer singing directly to me, but when the lyrics said, ¡°little miss innocent, sugar me,¡± he pointed at me and I nearly came in my panties.


    The band went directly into ¡°Cherry Pie,¡± which got a similar positive response from the audience. Evie, Mina, and I were having so much fun, I could not wipe the smile off my face. We were jumping around, grinding against each other, and then the next thing I knew, there was a large masculine hand wrapped around my arm, dragging me away from the table and towards the door that headed outside.


    I desperately tried to free myself from his grasp, but I had no leverage as I struggled to stay on my feet while being pulled through the bodies. I was drug through the warehouse and out the main door into the cool November night. Finally we came to a stop a few feet outside the entrance. ¡°What do you think you are doing?¡± I screamed. Ash turned around, glaring at me through thunderous eyes. He didn¡¯t say a word, instead, he cupped both sides of my face into his hands and pulled me into a toe-curling, heart-stopping kiss.


    As soon as my brain registered what was happening, I pushed him away. ¡°Get off of me! Have you lost your damn mind?¡± I was furious.


    ¡°Scarlett, I¡¯m sorry, but I had to get you out of there. You have to stay away from that guy. He¡¯s bad news. He¡¯s¡­¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s what Ash?¡± I cut him off mid-sentence. ¡°He¡¯s a self-absorbed, arrogant, pompous ass womanizer? Is that it?¡± My voice was still elevated, but I had brought it down a notch, hoping to avoid any unnecessary attention from the people walking by. ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯s pretty easy for you to recognize the type since you stare at one in the mirror of every Goddamned day!¡±


    He took a step forward with his arms stretched out towards me. ¡°Butterfly, please,¡± he begged.


    I took a step back. ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± I said shaking my head and holding my arm out in front of me. ¡°Just don¡¯t.¡±


    He stood there silent, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, just looking at me. The anger in his eyes from just moments before had turned to either sadness or disappointment or a combination of the two.


    ¡°You know Ash, whatever this is between us, whatever we are, it¡¯s all your doing,¡± I hissed. ¡°You knew how I felt about you. You knew what I wanted. But you were the one that insisted that we just be friends. I didn¡¯t like it, but I went along with it so that I could keep you as a part of my life. And now, the first time that you see me with another guy, the first fucking time that you feel threatened, you go all caveman on me and then play the ¡®Butterfly¡¯ card?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not true,¡± Ash argued. ¡°I see you with Dylan all the time and I never say anything.¡±


    I rolled my eyes. ¡°That¡¯s because you know as well as I do that nothing is ever going to happen between Dylan and I. We see each other one night a week only in locations full of other people, like a restaurant or Jacob¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°Scarlett, I¡¯m just worried about you,¡± he tried to explain.


    ¡°No need.¡± I snapped. ¡°Look Ash, you¡¯re the one who told me I needed to experience life ~ to try new things, to meet new people, to learn about myself from my mistakes. Remember?¡± He ran his hands through his hair and sighed in frustration. I knew this conversation was not going the way he had planned, and much to my chagrin, I found myself wanting to hold and comfort him.


    My voice softened but remained stern as I looked intensely into his eyes. ¡°Ash, our relationship has grown into something very special over the last couple of months. I could not imagine my life going forward without you in it; I cherish all the time we spend together. I also know that no matter what we call it, we will always be something more than just friends. I can¡¯t explain it and I don¡¯t think you can either.¡± He shook his head in agreement and a small smile briefly crossed his lips. ¡°But I¡¯m not going to sit around, waiting and pining after you while you gallivant around and fuck half of the female population in Houston. I¡¯m going to have a life, which includes dating other guys whether you approve of them or not. I hope that doesn¡¯t interfere with us continuing our relationship the way it was before it got all weird tonight.¡±


    Without saying a word, he walked towards me with his arms stretched out in front of him, and this time I did not deny his embrace. He held me tight against his body, his face buried in my neck, my arms locked around his waist. We stood there silently for a few minutes, both of us needed an opportunity to reflect on the events of the evening.


    People started filtering out the door of the warehouse signaling that closing time was approaching. Before letting me free from his arms, Ash whispered in my ear, ¡°I know I really messed up tonight and I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ll work on it, I promise. I can¡¯t lose you, butterfly.¡±

 Page 23

    I took a step back from him and gave him a small smile. ¡°I¡¯ll see you tomorrow night, okay? Be careful going home tonight.¡± As I turned on my heel and headed back towards the entrance, I could feel his eyes on me the entire walk. Just before I slipped back inside, I glanced back at where he still stood. I gave myself a silent pat on the back for standing up to him and not giving in, even if my inner voices were having a knock-down, drag-out over whether I should run back to Ash¡¯s arms or continue flirting with trouble inside with Mason. I would¡¯ve said it was my inner angel and devil, but in this case I had two devils. I knew I was playing with fire either way I went.


    Chapter 20Advertisement


    Evie and Mina had followed Ash and I out when he had abducted me. They had given us our space and privacy, but there was no way that Evie was going to let me be out there without her. I found them lingering outside the door, waiting to make sure I was okay.


    ¡°You alright, Sam?¡± Evie asked as I walked over to her.


    I nodded and forced a smile. ¡°Yeah, I think it¡¯s all going to be okay. Now I only hope that Mason is inside and still wants to hang out tonight.¡±


    ¡°Do you want me to go in with you?¡± she asked.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m fine, I promise. I¡¯ll text you if I need you,¡± I reassured her. She gave me a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, and then she and Mina bounded off across the parking lot to where Noah and Max waited for them. I couldn¡¯t help but smile at how happy Evie was tonight.


    Back inside the warehouse, the overhead lights had been turned on and other than the employees, there were only a few people lingering around. I instantly spotted the back of Mason¡¯s tall frame standing at the bar. I drew in a deep breath and made my way over to him.


    ¡°Mason?¡± My voice squeaked as I tried to get his attention. He sat his bottled water on top of the bar and turned around to face me. When he saw me, his face lit up and he exclaimed, ¡°Angel! You¡¯re still here!¡± His enthusiasm to see me made my heart swell. He appeared so tough with his big muscles, tattoos, and piercings, but for the short time I had been around him, he had been so sweet, soft, and cuddly.


    I walked right up to him so that I was only inches from his body and looked up into his mysterious gray eyes. ¡°I thought we had some unfinished business to attend to.¡± He leaned down and lightly swept his lips over mine. The warm, silkiness of his flesh on mine accompanied by the cool metal piercing set my body on fire. Mason slipped his hands under my arms, and in one swift motion, he lifted me up, turned us around, and sat me on top of the bar. Instinctually, I opened my legs so that he fit between them.


    The next kiss was not quite as sweet as the first, and the one after that was nearly obscene. His lips and tongue expertly teased and tortured my mouth, my face, my ears, and my neck while his large, strong hands caressed me from my head down my back to my hips. When he paused briefly with his mouth on my shoulder, I took advantage of his lull and repaid each of his tormenting kisses with one of my own. My inner thighs throbbed while the rest of my body buzzed with desire. His hands found their way back in my long, straight hair. He was massaging my scalp when suddenly he grabbed two handfuls of my hair and yanked my head back, offering up my entire neck to him. A raspy growl emerged from my throat and I felt my panties moisten. I locked my legs around Mason¡¯s waist and pulled him as close to me as physically possible. He tugged on my hair again, harder the second time, and again, I couldn¡¯t help but groan at the overwhelming jolt of pleasure that shot through me. I arched my back with my legs still wrapped around Mason and he lowered me back onto the bar. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn¡¯t even stop to realize that we were in the middle of a public place, and even if I had noticed at that point, I¡¯m not even sure I would¡¯ve cared. The night had been such a mixture of emotions with meeting Mason and dealing with Ash, but while laying on my back on top of that bar, the only thing that mattered was Mason, me, and the fact that we both had way too many damn clothes on.


    ¡°Oh my God, Scarlett. You are the sexiest fucking thing I have ever laid eyes on,¡± he said as he gazed down at me. I smiled at his gratifying words and lifted my right hand to his cheek. ¡°You¡¯re not so bad yourself, Mason Templeton.¡± He turned his face so that he could kiss my palm.


    ¡°I need some fresh air. You¡¯ve got me so worked up, Angel, that I almost forgot that we weren¡¯t alone here,¡± Mason said as he looked around the bar to the handful of people who were pretending to be busy and not watching our steamy, bar-top make-out session. I blushed thinking about the guttural sounds that I had made just minutes earlier. ¡°Good idea, let¡¯s get out of here,¡± I replied. Mason lifted me up back into a sitting position and pulled me in for one more kiss. I could feel his hard cock pressed against my lower abdomen and I wanted so bad to reach down and rub my hand up and down it, but I controlled myself. I wasn¡¯t quite sure what it was that Mason evoked in me, but I yearned for both his touch and to touch him like I didn¡¯t think was possible. It was like my body was hungry for his, starving actually. Finally, I understood the draw towards the bad-boy image that so many girls and women could not resist. If I was Mason¡¯s angel, he was my perfect devil.


    ¡°Wanna grab a bite to eat?¡± he asked as he lifted me off of the bar and down to my feet. Oh, there was something I wanted to put in my mouth, but it wasn¡¯t food. On cue, my stomach growled loudly. ¡°Well, I guess that¡¯s all the answer I need.¡± He joked and kissed my forehead.


    ¡°Not really what I had in mind, but I guess that my stomach has different ideas.¡± I admitted.


    He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together as we headed towards the door. ¡°You¡¯ve had a busy night, Angel. I need to feed you and get you home so you can rest. It¡¯s nearly 3:00 in the morning. We can pick up where we left off another night in a place with a little more privacy.¡±


    Mason led me across the parking lot to his car, a new, black Infiniti G37. The car was gorgeous, but I was actually quite surprised he didn¡¯t drive a motorcycle, which would¡¯ve completed the image perfectly. When I told him just that, he jokingly apologized for disappointing me in not being the ¡°full package.¡± I sighed over-dramatically and teased him, ¡°I guess you¡¯ll do for tonight, but you¡¯re going to need to step up your bad-assness if you expect me to go out with you again.¡± Playing along, he assured me he was going to buy a motorcycle the very next day.


    We continued our playful banter over pancakes and orange juice at a local IHOP. I quickly discovered that Mason was a child trapped in a twenty-three year old¡¯s body. We joked, teased, and clowned around throughout the entire meal. I had never had so much fun just eating with anyone except Evie. I wasn¡¯t embarrassed to say or do anything around him, and I could tell he felt the same way about me. And even though we refrained from touching and kissing each other too much while in the restaurant, the physical ache I felt for his touch never subsided.


    When we reached my dorm, Mason insisted on walking me all the way to my door. I wasn¡¯t surprised to find that Evie hadn¡¯t made it home. I was happy for her, knowing that it had been so long since she had been with a guy. I actually was a little worried for Max, the poor guy probably didn¡¯t know what had hit him once she got him alone.


    Mason followed me into the living room area of the suite. ¡°This is really nice for a dorm. It¡¯s a lot bigger than I thought it would be,¡± he said while looking around the place.


    ¡°Yeah, Evie¡¯s parents paid a pretty penny for us to have an upgraded suite. Usually freshman don¡¯t get these, but her mom is on some president¡¯s council here or something, so she pulled some strings for us,¡± I explained. ¡°That¡¯s Evie¡¯s room over there and this one is mine,¡± I continued as I pointed to each of our doors. ¡°We each have our own bathroom and then, obviously we have our common area and kitchenette here. And that completes the tour.¡± I said in my best fake, over-the-top HGTV realtor voice.


    Laughing, he grabbed my hips and pulled me close to him. He looked down at me, his gray eyes twinkling, and he pressed his forehead against mine. ¡°I can¡¯t begin to tell you how happy I am that you walked in my bar tonight, angel. You¡¯re like a breath of fresh air that blew into my life.¡±


    I swatted at his shoulder. ¡°Oh stop, you don¡¯t have to say all that. I had an awesome time tonight. It was a night full of new experiences for me, definitely a night I won¡¯t soon forget.¡± I rubbed my nose against his in an Eskimo kiss.


    ¡°When can I see you again?¡± he asked. The question completely caught me off-guard. I honestly thought this was going to be a one-time kind of thing. I guess my faced showed my confusion because he frowned and questioned, ¡°You do want to see me again, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I quickly nodded my head yes. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you would want to¡­ I just assumed this was, ya know, a one-time thing. I¡¯m really not sure how these things work.¡± Suddenly I felt extremely immature and na?ve and it embarrassed me. I looked away from Mason¡¯s face so that he couldn¡¯t see me blush, but he wouldn¡¯t allow me to escape my mortification that easy.


    ¡°Scarlett, look at me. Don¡¯t be ridiculous,¡± he scolded me and pulled my face back to his. His eyes were warm and sincere. ¡°You told me that you didn¡¯t want to constantly think about or be reminded of the things you have or haven¡¯t done, so don¡¯t dwell on it or beat yourself up over it. Like you said earlier tonight, just go with what feels right. You¡¯re going to make mistakes and bad decisions, just make sure you learn from them or otherwise the pain, stress, and heartache you endure from them was all for nothing. Okay?¡± His thumb was stroking my cheek and I closed my eyes and nodded. Understanding exactly what I wanted and not disappointing, Mason covered my mouth with his in a long, sensual kiss.


    After several more kisses, an exchange of phone numbers, and plans for him to pick me up the following Friday for dinner before going to the warehouse, Mason left. Tired couldn¡¯t even begin to explain how my brain and body felt. I took the quickest shower of my life, threw on a camisole and panties, and collapsed on my bed in a pleasure-induced coma.


    Chapter 21


    The alarm clock read twelve o¡¯clock sharp when my phone vibrating on my desk woke me up. For several minutes I just laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling, remembering the previous night and early morning hours. At just the thought of Mason, a wide smile spread across my face. His gorgeous face, his ripped body, the beautiful tattoos and piercings, his full lips¡­ I brought my hand to my swollen mouth thinking about how it had explored not only his mouth, but all over his body. My upper thighs clenched as the visual ran through my mind.


    The phone vibrated again jolting me from my daydream. Begrudgingly, I crawled out of bed and crossed the short distance to my desk. I grabbed the phone and read my missed messages.


    Rat (5:44 A.M.) Had a great time tonight, Angel. Sweet Dreams


    Ash (8:35 A.M.) Just making sure u made it home safe


    Ash (10:07 A.M.) Let me know u r ok

 Page 24

    Ash (10:52 A.M.) Scarlett, I¡¯m getting worried. I knew I shouldn¡¯t have left you there


    Evie (10:55 A.M.) Scarlett, where are you? Ash is freaking out. I¡¯m headed home nowAdvertisement


    Dylan (11:10 A.M.) Morning, don¡¯t forget I¡¯m picking you up early today-5:00. Can¡¯t wait to see you all dressed up. See ya soon


    Ash (11:17 A.M.) I¡¯m coming looking for you


    Okay, first thing first. I needed to change Mason¡¯s name in my phone. I wasn¡¯t having a conversation when I had to look at the name Rat on my screen. I also noted his disregard to follow the proverbial three day rule, or whatever the hell it was where you had to wait a set period of time to contact someone so you didn¡¯t look too interested or some stupid shit. I never quite understood the idea behind this, I mean if two people really liked each other and had a good time on a date, why would they torture themselves in not seeing or talking to each other for several days just so they didn¡¯t appear to be what they actually were - interested in each other. SMH.


    A sound out in the main living area startled me, so before I had time to mentally address the other messages and let Ash know that I was fine and that he could call off the search-and-rescue mission, I went to investigate. I opened the door and marched out still just in my tank top and panties only to see Evie and Ash sitting at the small table, drinking coffee. I froze.


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± I asked Ash once the shock wore off.


    ¡°I was worried sick, Scarlett,¡± he explained as he stood up and walked over to me. ¡°When you didn¡¯t answer my texts all morning, I just got really concerned that something had happened. So I called Evie, but she wasn¡¯t here so she didn¡¯t know where you were. So we agreed to meet here to see if you were just passed out, like you were, or if we needed to try and find you.¡± When Ash reached me, he pulled me into a tight hug. ¡°I was so worried, butterfly,¡± he mumbled into my neck. His arms that held me snug around the waist, relaxed when he finally accepted that I was okay, and they brushed across my bare ass cheek. A jolt of energy surged through my body the second his skin touched mine and his body tightened in response as well. My head snapped back and our eyes locked. We had already determined the attraction between us was undeniable, but to save my sanity I had to be strong enough to resist it. To resist him.


    As he moved towards me, I took a step back, moving away from him. Ash stopped and cocked his head, obviously surprised by my action. He took another step in my direction, but I put my arm out to stop his chest and shook my head. ¡°I can¡¯t,¡± I whispered. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± My eyes pleaded with his to not push the issue. I was surprised that I had mustered up the strength to tell him ¡°no¡± one time, I wasn¡¯t sure I would be able to do it again.


    Ash seemed to understand what I was asking and he nodded his head. He reached his hand out to my face and brushed his thumb lightly over my cheek. ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re home safe, butterfly. I¡¯ll see you tonight.¡± And with that he said goodbye to Evie, grabbed his coffee, and left.


    As soon as the door closed, Evie jumped out of her chair and grabbed a pint of ice cream from the freezer with two spoons. ¡°My bed. 5 minutes. Brush your teeth, pee, and whatever else you need to do because this is going to be a long one.¡±


    Ten minutes later, I had responded to Mason and Dylan¡¯s texts, freshened up, and sat fully clothed on Evie¡¯s bed with a spoon of frozen vanilla heaven dancing on my tongue. She decided that she would go first on rehashing her night with Max since it was far less drama-filled and would take much less time discussing. Her story was pretty cut and dry. They went back to his place, did the nasty (which she claimed was ¡°the best ever¡±), and he cuddled her and whispered sweet nothings in her ear until she fell asleep. They were awoken by Ash¡¯s multiple calls and texts so their time together was cut short, but they had plans to see each other again later that day. She was completely smitten with him, and I was so happy that she had found someone she seemed to really like. I felt bad that I was the reason she was forced to leave Max, but she assured me that it wasn¡¯t any big deal. She said she wouldn¡¯t have wanted to miss the scene that had just occurred between me and Ash for anything.


    ¡°Which leads us to what¡¯s going on in your head and heart, Sammy girl,¡± Evie said. I raised my eyebrow at her, ¡°Sammy girl?¡± I asked, moaning in delight while I took another bite of ice cream. I had never eaten ice cream as breakfast before and I needed to do it more often. What an incredible way to start your day!


    Evie¡¯s voice brought me back to reality out of my sweet, creamy daydream. ¡°Yeah, since you are letting other people call you nicknames these days, I thought that you were going soft on the issue.¡± I threw one of her numerous bed pillows at her head. ¡°But don¡¯t try to change the subject, I know what you are doing.¡±


    ¡°What do you want to know?¡± I asked her.


    ¡°Everything!¡± she squealed. ¡°Ash, Rat, Dylan¡­ tell me what¡¯s going on with all of them!¡±


    ¡°Oh-kay,¡± I agreed, eager to talk to her about all of the craziness swarming around in my head. ¡°Let¡¯s start with the easy one. Dylan. On paper, he¡¯s my perfect guy. He¡¯s drop dead gorgeous; not only is he smart, but he¡¯s goal-driven and ambitious. He comes from what seems to be a normal family; he texts or calls me every day; and we never struggle for conversation - we get along great.¡± I stopped for another bite of ice cream. The freshman fifteen was starting to make a lot more sense.


    ¡°Why do I feel a ¡®but¡¯ coming up?¡± Evie asked.


    ¡°There¡¯s a ¡®but¡¯ with all of them. If there wasn¡¯t, we wouldn¡¯t need to have this conversation, I¡¯d still be laying in his bed,¡± I explained. ¡°Whichever bed his is.¡±


    ¡°Good point.¡±


    I continued on about Dylan, ¡°So here¡¯s the big ¡®but¡¯¡­ we have been seeing each other for over two months and all he will do is kiss me. I mean, he did more with me physically, like feeling me up and stuff, the first night we met before he knew about me being a big V. Since then, it¡¯s like we have a PG relationship and it¡¯s just weird. Not to mention, he can¡¯t really think that I believe he¡¯s gone this long without getting some from someone.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know that!¡± Evie argued.


    ¡°I only see him one day a week, Evie! He has never even once asked me to do something on a day other than Saturday. Either he¡¯s gay or he¡¯s fucking someone else! But the topper of all of these ¡®buts¡¯ is that I really don¡¯t care that much. It¡¯s not that when he touches or kisses me that it doesn¡¯t feel good, because it does and my body responds accordingly. I mean¡­ look at him. You¡¯d have to be dead to not find the guy hot as hell. But it is not even close to the way I feel when Mason or Ash touches me, it¡¯s not even in the same universe.¡± I sighed in frustration. ¡°All that being said, it is Saturday and I¡¯m going on a date with him tonight. I at least want to give something with him a real chance. I¡¯m going to try really hard to focus on Dylan tonight and not think about the other two, and we¡¯ll see how it goes. Unfortunately, he¡¯s the one that I¡¯m the least into, he is the one that¡¯s probably the best for me and will be the one least likely to break my heart.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s usually how it is, Scarlett. Welcome to the world of dating.¡± Evie gave me an understanding smile. ¡°So where are y¡¯all going tonight?¡± She asked changing the subject, and thankfully so because I needed to get going.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure, he wouldn¡¯t tell me. But it¡¯s somewhere fancy so I need to leave here in a bit to go buy a dress and shoes, if you want to come with. I¡¯m actually pretty excited. It is my first dress-up date!¡± I squealed. ¡°We can talk about the other two and last night while we shop.¡±


    ¡°Yay! I¡¯m so excited for you!¡± Evie screeched with me. ¡°I¡¯ll help you get ready before I go meet Max. I won¡¯t be going to Jacob¡¯s tonight. Are you cool with that?¡± She asked me.


    ¡°Of course I am. Evie, you have to live your life. You can¡¯t always be worried about me, I¡¯m figuring this out¡­ kind of.¡± We both burst out laughing at the uncertainty of my last two words. ¡°Plus, we aren¡¯t going either. Dylan is going to bring me back here since he said it will be pretty late.¡± Damn, that reminded me that I had told Ash earlier that I would see him later that night, but I wouldn¡¯t. Then I realized that it would be the first Saturday night in over two months that I wouldn¡¯t be sleeping in Ash¡¯s bed, and a wave of disappointment washed over me. Not only would I miss the few hours that we normally hang out together, but also the night of the week that I slept the best.


    As we headed out the door to her car, Evie said, ¡°Scarlett, we haven¡¯t even been here three months and you are already juggling three incredibly hot guys! I¡¯m not sure if I should bow at your feet or stock up on tissues for future breakdowns or both?¡± She chuckled. ¡°Better yet, I¡¯m going to try to bottle up your scent and sell it.¡±


    ¡°What did you just say?¡± I thought I had misheard her.


    ¡°I said, ¡®I¡¯m going to try and bottle up your scent and sell it,¡¯¡± she confirmed what I thought I heard the first time. ¡°I think that you must have some distinct scent that drives guys wild¡­ like eau de purity or virtuous body splash.¡± I laughed so hard I snorted. Where in the world did she get this shit? She continued, ¡°I mean seriously, Ash acts like a jealous, possessive Neanderthal around you and Mason dedicated a fucking mini-concert to you in front of a bar full of people not two hours after y¡¯all met. There¡¯s got to be some virginity scent that you have and we need to figure out how to bottle it up and market it. We¡¯re going to make a fortune on Essence de Scarlett.¡± By this point, she couldn¡¯t keep a straight face any longer. We both died in a heap of giggles. When I finally stopped long enough to catch my breath, I told her, ¡°Mason sang me those songs after I gave him a blow job. Maybe it¡¯s not my smell, but my magical mouth.¡±


    She shook her head at me, holding her side while still cracking up. ¡°Come on, lover lips, let¡¯s go find you a dress. And you bet you are going to tell me all of the juicy details about last night, I¡¯m not letting it go.¡± I rolled my eyes and opened the passenger door.


    Chapter 22


    While we shopped, I recounted all of the previous evening¡¯s events for her. I told her about how I had purposely tried to make Ash jealous and how Mason had known. I went into vivid detail about how completely freaking amazing Mason made me feel when his hands and lips were on me, that she was right in that it would be so much more intense than what I had experienced before solo. I had already told her the night before what exactly we had done, but she wanted play-by-play and I did my best to describe what happened.


    It was when I got to the part of the story when Ash drug me out of the warehouse that I admitted to her he kissed me when we had first gone outside. She and Mina had come outside a few minutes after us, to check on me, but she had missed the beginning of our confrontation.

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    ¡°So do you feel different when you kiss Ash and when you kiss Mason?¡± she asked curiously.


    ¡°Yes, definitely, but I¡¯m not sure how to describe it.¡± I thought about it for a minute, trying to find the best way to verbalize it. ¡°With all three of them it¡¯s different¡­ With Dylan, I feel comfortable. We have a lot in common so we always have something to talk about, but we never really talk about anything of substance or meaning. We are both easy going, so we don¡¯t argue or bicker. And when he kisses me, it¡¯s¡­ nice. Even when it¡¯s supposed to be more than nice, harder than nice, it¡¯s always just nice.Advertisement


    ¡°With Mason, obviously I just have last night to go off of, but he made me feel wanted¡­ desired¡­ needed. When he kissed me, it was like his body craved mine and he wanted to consume me. Of course, he has the whole tattooed, bad boy image thing going which just enhances the excitement of it all. But even when we were just hanging out, my body constantly hummed in anticipation, wanting him to touch me, to kiss me¡­ I mean, we got along great during the few moments that we weren¡¯t all over each other! He¡¯s like a little kid, he¡¯s just playful and free-spirited, but I can see how it can come off as obnoxious to some people. I like it though¡­ he¡¯s definitely the spice in my life.¡±


    ¡°So he¡¯s already ¡®in your life?¡¯¡± Evie questioned my choice of words.


    ¡°I guess so since we are going out to dinner and the warehouse next Friday,¡± I responded, feeling my body temperature rise as the memory of kissing Mason lingered in my head.


    ¡°Well, your calendar is filling up nicely, isn¡¯t it, Miss I-date-every-kind-of-book-boyfriend possible?¡±


    ¡°Jealous much?¡±


    ¡°Abso-fucking-lutely.¡± she grinned slyly at me. ¡°Now tell me what I don¡¯t already know about your precious Ash, other than how proud I was of you for telling him ¡®no¡¯ earlier.¡±


    Without hesitation, I answered, ¡°When Ash and I are together, he makes me feel cherished and coveted, like I¡¯m the most treasured thing on the Earth. I¡¯ve already told you numerous times that there¡¯s just something that completely unexplainable that draws me to him. What is the saying ¡®like a moth to the flame?¡¯ That¡¯s how I feel with him. Despite what he says, I know he¡¯s a selfish asshole that wants to be able to have his fun with whoever, whenever, while I sit at home and pine after him. He tells me to go out and live, to experience life, yada yada yada, but he doesn¡¯t really want me to meet anyone, and I basically told him last night that I wasn¡¯t going to do that. I told him if we were going to be friends, like he wanted, then he wasn¡¯t going to be able to act the way he did. I thought everything was cool, and we were going to pick back up the way we had been, but then he showed up at the dorm this morning and things got all awkward again.¡± I had started whining towards the end of my rant.


    ¡°Oh Scarlett, look at this dress,¡± Evie held up a beautiful charcoal gray dress.


    ¡°Do they have it in a four?¡± I asked hopefully.


    She handed me one of the dresses and pointed me in the direction of the dressing rooms. At first I wondered if she was going to acknowledge any of the things that I had just said about not just Ash, but the whole situation, but just when I was about to say something she began talking as she followed me into one of the changing stalls. ¡°I think you should just keep doing what you are doing. You know, you are just meeting people and getting to know them. You don¡¯t have to find your future husband your freshman year in college, Scarlett. It¡¯s not like you¡¯re screwing a different guy each week, it¡¯s okay to date different people.¡±


    I discarded my jeans and t-shirt in a pile on the floor and slipped the slinky number over my head. ¡°I know, but it¡¯s just kind of overwhelming all at once. I feel like I¡¯m doing something wrong, like I don¡¯t want them to know about each other. Well, other than Ash obviously, since he knows about the other two. And I guess it doesn¡¯t matter with him since we are back to being friends; I¡¯m not sure we ever changed from that status¡­ see, I¡¯m just so damn confused. Uggghhh!¡± I grunted in frustration, but as I turned around to the mirror I froze. Wow. I even shocked myself at the image that stared back at me in the mirror. I had never worn a dress that fitted and that accentuated my body like this one. It was rather simple in design~ sleeveless with a sweetheart neckline and a hem that hit several inches above my knee. The gray material had a subtle shimmer threaded throughout that sparkled in the light when positioned in a certain way. It hugged my body without being overly tight and displayed the perfect amount of cleavage and leg.


    ¡°Perfect.¡± Evie and I said at the same time. We locked eyes in the mirror and gave each other a knowing smile.


    ¡°Just relax and enjoy, Sam.¡± Her voice was soft and soothing. ¡°I am so proud of you and how well you are adjusting to all of this. It¡¯s not all going to be easy. You¡¯re going to get your heart broken and you are going to break hearts, that¡¯s all just part of it. The same goes for me, ya know? The good news is we have each other to get through it all, and hopefully when it¡¯s all said and done, we both will get our fairy tale ending.¡± My eyes filled with tears, touched by her words. I turned to her and hugged her tightly. ¡°I love you, Evie. Thank you for everything.¡±


    ¡°I love you too, but we need to get you home and get you ready for your big date. The nice boy will be there soon to get you.¡±


    I quickly changed back into my clothes, paid for the dress, and we headed back to campus.


    Several hours later, Evie was putting the finishing touches on my makeup when Dylan knocked at the door. I stole one last look in the bathroom mirror and found Evie¡¯s eyes staring at me in the reflection. ¡°You look gorgeous, Sam. Have fun and remember to give it a chance.¡± She kissed my cheek and then turned to go let Dylan in. I took a deep breath, gave myself a mental pep talk, and followed her path.


    Seeing Dylan dressed in gray slacks with a blue buttoned down dress shirt and gray tie stopped me dead in my tracks. He had never looked so handsome. His usual messy blonde hair and big brown eyes paired with his GQ ensemble was nearly too much; I almost had to pinch myself to make sure that I wasn¡¯t dreaming. Did he seriously wear a gray tie?


    Quickly I pulled my thoughts away from where they were headed and I continued towards him. He immediately pulled me into his arms and kissed the skin directly under my ear. ¡°You are breathtaking,¡± he whispered. I moaned ever so lightly when his lips touched my earlobe. I had recently (like the night before) learned that that my earlobe was a trigger spot for me. His lips traveled to find mine and they caressed my mouth softly.


    Evie cleared her throat reminding us she was still in the room and we both jerked away from each other. ¡°Well, don¡¯t you two look gorgeous?¡± She smirked at our guilty reaction. ¡°Y¡¯all have a great time and don¡¯t forget I won¡¯t be home tonight. I will see you tomorrow Scarlett, and it was great seeing you as always, Dylan.¡±


    ¡°Bye, Evie,¡± we replied in unison. Dylan then grabbed my hand and led me out to his car.


    Once we were buckled in and the car was started, Dylan leaned across the middle console and kissed my cheek. ¡°I think you¡¯re really going to like what I have planned.¡± I could see the excitement in his eyes and couldn¡¯t help but join him in his ear¨Cto-ear grin. I decided to follow Evie¡¯s advice and give this thing with Dylan a chance. I had obviously been wrong in ever thinking that Ash was my soulmate, if I even believed in that sort of thing. Despite the mishap the previous night, he truly was my best friend other than Evie and I began to think that the immediate connection we had felt to one another was just that - we were meant to be close friends. And Mason, well I knew as well as anyone, that someone like him wasn¡¯t a relationship kind of guy. And while he would be fun to hang out with and experiment with sexually, he would most likely exit my life as quickly as he had entered it, so I just going to enjoy the ride for as long as it lasted. However, I was certain that I didn¡¯t want to lose my virginity to him; I wanted to at least be in an exclusive relationship with whoever the unlucky fellow was, and since that wasn¡¯t ever happening with him, it was an easy decision for me. But that didn¡¯t mean we couldn¡¯t do other things¡­


    ¡°Scarlett, did you hear me?¡± Dylan¡¯s voice interrupted my dirty thoughts about Mason. Okay, what the hell, I was acting like a 16 year old boy. I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about sex!! And not even with the same guy!! Get a grip! Catch your snaps! Put on a fucking chastity belt! Do something!


    ¡°Uh, no, sorry I was just thinking about how exciting this is,¡± I replied. ¡°You know, being my first time to go on a fancy date like this and all.¡± I waved my hand in the air pointing at our out-of-the-ordinary clothes. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. ¡°I love that I get to be the one to take you. Now let¡¯s go eat the best steak you¡¯ve ever had in your life.¡±


    ¡°Mmmm¡­ that sounds wonderful.¡±


    Chapter 23


    Dylan and I got back to my dorm just before midnight, having shared a wonderful evening out. We had eaten dinner at Vic and Anthony¡¯s Steakhouse downtown, where I had by far, the most amazing meal of my life. The filet melted in my mouth like butter (,)and I moaned in delight as the first bite hit my taste buds. The side dishes and dessert were just as delicious as the main course, and I proceeded to stuff myself not caring one bit about the thousands of calories I was consuming. Dylan appreciated my enthusiasm about dinner and rewarded me with his gorgeous smile throughout the entire meal. He truly was beautiful, his features were perfectly proportionate and symmetrical. I decided that I could never get tired of looking at him. Sigh.


    After dinner, he took me to see Peter Pan at the Houston Ballet, and I was in heaven. Watching the dancers made me realize how much I missed dancing myself. I had spent fourteen years of my life in ballet and jazz classes, hours upon hours rehearsing for recitals and competitions, only to stop cold turkey. Around the time of my graduation the previous June, my studio had closed for the summer as it always had, but at the time I had failed to realize that I would never be back there. Since moving to Houston, I had been so busy with school, I hadn¡¯t thought much about it, but a yearning to continue my training developed as I watched the performance. I made a mental note to look up studios close to campus so that I could enroll in an adult class. Dylan couldn¡¯t have planned a more perfect evening for me, and I was feeling better about rethinking a possible relationship with him. He was always so thoughtful and considerate.


    ¡°Have you listened to the new Mumford & Sons album?¡± he asked as he changed the song on his ipod playing through the car stereo.


    ¡°Yeah, I love it. I¡¯ve been learning how to play a couple of the songs,¡± I responded. I figured it was best not to mention that Ash and I had been learning them together over the past several weeks. We had found that we harmonized well together and had pretty much perfected about half of the album. The magnetic draw that I felt towards Ash was never more prominent than when we played guitar and sang together in his room, and I cherished those moments that we spent together like no others. It was the one thing that I shared with him that none of his other girls did.

 Page 26

    ¡°Really? That¡¯s awesome. I love it too,¡± he said as he reached with his free hand to hold mine. ¡°I would love to hear some of them once you¡¯ve got them down.¡± I nodded in agreement.


    Dylan walked me to my door, which felt a little odd since we normally went to the shindig after our dinner dates and said our goodbyes at the end of the night there. When what began as a sweet goodnight kiss turned into a more passionate make out session against my door, I asked him if he wanted to come in for a while since Evie would be out the rest of the night. Several people had already snickered as they had passed us in the hall and I wasn¡¯t quite ready for exhibitionism. Despite his panting against my neck and his hard on pressed against my lower belly which indicated that he was just as turned on as I was, he declined. ¡°Scarlett, I¡¯m not sure that I would be able to stop myself once we got started if I followed you in there. I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a very good idea.¡± He kissed me gently on the tip of my nose and took a step back.Advertisement


    ¡°What if I don¡¯t want you to stop?¡± I was breathing heavily and still had my back pressed against the door. I searched his eyes for answers to the mixed signals he was constantly sending.


    ¡°Scarlett¡­¡± his voice faded off and he looked away. ¡°I just can¡¯t. Not now, it¡¯s not right for you.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t I get to decide what¡¯s right for me?¡± I was almost whining at this point, but damn it, what was the problem? ¡°What¡¯s really going on, Dylan? I swear, sometimes I don¡¯t understand you at all. You know I really don¡¯t want to have this conversation out here. Can we at least go inside to talk without an audience?¡±


    He looked down at his phone and then back up at me. ¡°I can¡¯t, I¡¯m really sorry, Scarlett.¡±


    ¡°What? Do you have another date tonight or something? Why are you acting so damn weird all of a sudden?¡± I tried hard not to raise my voice, but the hurt from the rejection of my invitation and the confusion about why the hell he was checking his phone at the end of our date won out. ¡°You know what, just go. Whatever. Wow. What an awful way to end what was the perfect first date; I sure won¡¯t forget it now.¡± I spun on my heel to open my door, vowing not to let him see my cry.


    ¡°Scarlett, wait¡­¡± he said as he reached for my shoulder. I shrugged out of his grasp as the door unlocked and opened. I turned and looked in his dark sapphire eyes. ¡°Dylan, up until ten minutes ago, I had an amazing evening, thank you so much for dinner and the ballet. However, until you are ready to tell me why it is we only see each other on Saturdays, why every time things start to heat up between us you stop it, and why you are acting like you are running late for something while dropping me off after a date, which by the way is incredibly rude - I¡¯m sorry I kept you for so long from whatever else or whomever else it is you need to attend to, I don¡¯t really think we have much to talk about.¡± I turned from him, walked into my dorm, and allowed the door to close in his face. It was then that I allowed the tears to flow freely. Stupid nice boys.


    After a scalding hot shower, I changed into my usual cami and panties sleeping ensemble and went to the kitchenette in search of alcohol. My mind was consumed with thoughts of Dylan and I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about how things had gone from so great to so bad in a matter of minutes. Every so often, an image of Ash or Mason would float by, only adding to my confusion. Did I really have any right to get angry at Dylan for hiding things when I wasn¡¯t exactly forthcoming about what I had done just the night before? I hoped we had some wine or something that would help me calm down and get some sleep. The chime of my phone indicating I had a text message rang out just as located a bottle of wine in the fridge. I quickly poured a glass and then hurried into my room, hopeful that it was Dylan wanting to apologize. It wasn¡¯t.


    Ash (12:42 am): Where are you? Why aren¡¯t you at Jacob¡¯s?


    I had forgotten to text him to let him know I wasn¡¯t going to be there. I responded quickly so he wouldn¡¯t think something had happened to me.


    Me (12:45 am): I¡¯m at home. Sorry, forgot to tell you I wasn¡¯t coming.


    Ash (12:46 am): Dylan?


    Me (12:46 am): We went out on a date tonight. He just dropped me off.


    Ash (12:47am): Evie?


    Me (12:47 am): Out with Max


    Ash (12:51 am): So you¡¯re alone?


    Me (12:52 am): Yep, getting ready for bed


    Ash (12:55 am): I¡¯m not going to be able to sleep without you tonight.


    Me (12:56 am): You sleep the other 6 nights a week without me. You¡¯ll be fine


    I didn¡¯t hear back from him after that last text, and I wasn¡¯t sure if I had pissed him off, but I really couldn¡¯t worry my poor brain with another issue at that time, I was already stressed over everything that had happened with Dylan. I would smooth everything over the following day. I downed the glass of wine and went to the kitchen to pour a second. Just as I was returning the bottle to the fridge, someone knocked on the door. The sound startled me and I wondered who in the world could possibly be at my door at 1:00 in the morning that wouldn¡¯t have called before showing up. I hurried to the door, opening it only far enough that I could see who it was, and making sure my non-dressed body was hidden behind it.


    Ash stood on our doormat looking as incredible as always. True to his surfer boy image, his long sandy hair was messy and he had on a white Billabong long sleeved tee with holey, faded jeans and flip flops. He smiled brightly at me when I cracked the door and the dimples were activated. I stopped breathing momentarily as the sight of him mixed with his masculine scent flooded my senses. I didn¡¯t say anything, waiting for him to explain his sudden appearance.


    ¡°I get my best night¡¯s sleep when you stay with me, and I can¡¯t wait for next Saturday to get fully rested, so here I am. We can stay here if you want or I can take you back to my house. Either way, I just need you to be sleeping next to me.¡± Ash said matter-of-factly.


    I opened the door wide enough so that he could come in, and once he did, the first thing he did was look down at my body. ¡°I¡¯ll go put some other clothes on; come in and make yourself at home,¡± I said.


    I had no idea what to think about Ash showing up at my door, but one thing was for sure - this was by far the strangest night of my life. I was exhausted and told Ash as much. I apologized for not being much company, but he wouldn¡¯t hear of it. Not fifteen minutes after he had knocked on my door, we were lying in my bed, our bodies fit together like a puzzle, John Coltrane playing softly in the background. Sleep took over quickly.


    I woke up several hours later at the sound of the front door closing. I looked at my alarm clock - it read 3:30AM. Evie was home. Weird. I hoped everything was okay with her and Max. Then I heard their voices and realized that Max was with her. I tried to go back to sleep, but my thoughts couldn¡¯t help but drift back to the happenings of the last couple of days. I had gone from making out with and giving a blowjob to Mason on Friday night, to kissing Ash later that same night, to spending Saturday afternoon and evening on a date and making out with Dylan, to spending the night with Ash in my bed Saturday night. In 36 hours I had gone from little-miss-goodie-two-shoes to a dirty whore. Okay, maybe not quite a dirty whore, considering my hymen was still firmly intact, but having three different guys¡¯ tongues (and other body parts) in my mouth in that short amount of time was definitely good practice in becoming one. But instead of crawling out of my bed and working to maintain some dignity by moving to the couch, I curled up into Ash¡¯s body and felt overall bliss from head to toe as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close to his body. He kissed the top of my head and whispered, ¡°Get some sleep, butterfly, it¡¯s still early. Stop over thinking everything.¡± And I did my best as I drifted off again.


    Sometime later I awoke to a male voice whispering my name in my ear. ¡°Scarlett, Scarlett, wake up.¡± My eyes shot open. Ash was leaning over me, fully dressed. What was he doing in my room? The events from the previous day rushed through my mind and I remembered his early morning arrival. I closed my eyes and groaned. ¡°What time is it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s almost ten. I¡¯ve got to get home and finish a paper or I¡¯d take you to breakfast.¡± His face was still mere inches from mine and I wondered how his breath could be so sweet after just waking up. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to leave without saying goodbye.¡±


    ¡°Kay. I¡¯m going back to sleep. Bye,¡± I murmured.


    He chuckled and reached down to kiss my forehead. A few moments later I heard my bedroom door open and close, followed by voices in the living area and the closing of the main door. Uggghh. I had hoped that he could¡¯ve left without Evie seeing him, but no such luck. I buried my head in my pillow and waited for her.


    Evie did not disappoint. Less than a minute later, my door swung open and I felt her climb in bed with me. She didn¡¯t beat around the bush. ¡°Dare I ask why when I last saw you, you were leaving here on a date with Dylan and then this morning as I¡¯m getting some water, I see Ash leaving your bedroom looking like he just woke up?¡±


    ¡°I plead the fifth,¡± I mumbled, still hiding under my pillow protection.


    ¡°I hope you know what you are doing, Scarlett. Contrary to the ninety nine percent of the books that you read and movies you watch, in reality, things don¡¯t always turn out all wrapped up with a perfectly tied bow. I know we like to joke around about it and draw parallels of our lives with these fictional characters, but this is real life, Sam, and I¡¯m really worried about you getting hurt.¡± Her concern was evident in her voice. ¡°You want to tell me what happened?¡±


    I pulled my head out and proceeded to tell her about how wonderful the date was but how Dylan started acting all weird, and then how I had forgotten to let Ash know that I wasn¡¯t going to Jacob¡¯s so he got worried¡­ again.


    ¡°He was so worried he had to come check on you here?¡± She lifted her eyebrows in disbelief. ¡°You expect me to believe that y¡¯all are still just friends after everything I¡¯ve seen in the last two days?¡±


    ¡°Nothing happened, Evie. I swear. We just slept, he didn¡¯t even get here until after one,¡± I tried to explain.


    She was quiet for a minute and then said, ¡°Look, like I told you yesterday and the day before that, do what you feel is right for you. I¡¯ll be here to support you no matter what. I was just surprised to see him.¡±


    I nodded, knowing that she wished I would stay as far away from Ash as possible. She was well aware of my weakness and vulnerability when it came to him, as was I. Remembering her coming home in the middle of the night, I asked, ¡°Hey, why did you come home at like 3:00 this morning, and was Max with you? I thought y¡¯all were staying at his place.¡±


    ¡°I got a headache and I didn¡¯t have any medicine on me, so Max and I decided to just stay the night here. He¡¯s still asleep in my bed¡±


    ¡°A headache?¡± I blurted out. ¡°I thought you had stopped getting them since you got the glasses?¡±


    ¡°Dude, chill out,¡± Evie waved her hand like it was no big deal. ¡°It wasn¡¯t too bad, I think I got it because I didn¡¯t have any caffeine yesterday. You know, like withdrawals or something.¡±

 Page 27

    ¡°Please promise that you will tell me if you start getting them again like before,¡± I pleaded with her. There was something strange about her getting all of these headaches in the last few months when I could count on one hand the number she had endured in her lifetime previously.


    ¡°I will, I will. Jeez, Scarlett. And don¡¯t try to change the subject to focus on me. I believe we were discussing you and your slew of gorgeous guys¡­¡±Advertisement


    ¡°There is no ¡®slew.¡¯¡± I interrupted. ¡°And I¡¯m really tired of thinking and talking about them and what it all means all the time.¡± I had developed a headache myself trying to analyze and scrutinize my relationship with each of the guys that had recently entered my life. I obviously felt something for each of them, but I wasn¡¯t sure exactly what that something was. ¡°So beginning right now, I¡¯m imposing a boy-free Sunday. Let¡¯s do a bunch of girly things together like we used to. You in?¡±


    Evie looked over at her closed bedroom door and then back at me. A slow grin crept across her face, ¡°That sounds awesome, but first I¡¯ve got to get rid of Max.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s okay Evie. I forgot he was here. If you were planning on hanging out with Max today, we can do it another time.¡± I tried hard to not allow my disappointment show in my voice, but it was impossible.


    ¡°No, I was actually thinking we needed to do a movie marathon with our favorite vampires and werewolves before the last movie comes out next Thursday night. You up for four movies today?¡± She asked already knowing what my answer would be.


    ¡°I need to change into my Team Edward t-shirt.¡± My face lit up at just the thought.


    ¡°Okay, give me an hour and I¡¯ll meet you on the couch,¡± she said, already walking towards her room.


    Chapter 24


    Evie and I spent the rest of that Sunday just as we had planned, on our couch stuffing our faces with popcorn and candy as if we were at an actual theater. I welcomed the refuge from my thoughts about my own life that were getting more and more complicated.


    Later that evening, my mom called inquiring about my plans for Thanksgiving. I wondered aloud if she was serious, where else was I going to go? She then proceeded to tell me how I wasn¡¯t the daughter that she raised, how she couldn¡¯t believe that I could be so rude and unappreciative to the people who sacrificed everything for me¡­ that was about the point I tuned her out. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to really get into it with her so I just let her rant, and when she finished, I just said, ¡°Okay, mom, you¡¯re right. I¡¯ll be there the day before and leave the day after. I gotta go study, see you then,¡± and hung up. I wasn¡¯t sure how I was going to make it forty two hours in her house. Yes, I had counted the hours. As far as I was concerned, it was going to be as close to torture than anything I had ever faced. I was depending heavily on my grandparents and my brother and his family to act as a buffer while I was there. I figured if things got too bad, I could always retreat to Evie¡¯s house. For the first time since I had stood up to my parents, I began to second guess my actions. When I had envisioned the whole confrontation, there was much less yelling and much more understanding on their part. But since that wasn¡¯t the way it happened, I was faced with these awkward family moments that I had never considered before.


    After hanging up on her, I picked up my guitar and immersed myself in my music, reveling in the sweet release. It didn¡¯t escape me that I had spent most of the day engaged in activities that kept me from focusing on questions I needed to answer about what I was doing and what I wanted. But I wasn¡¯t quite ready to have that talk with myself, so I opted for more music and less thinking. I literally played until my fingers hurt, and then I showered and got ready for bed. I checked my phone one last time before laying my head on the pillow¡­ nothing.


    The next several days passed quickly with classes and time spent working on a History project I had due the following week. When I woke up Monday morning, I had a text from Ash waiting for me, wishing me a good morning and telling me that he had finally got the timing down for a song he had been working on. We had a quick exchange of messages, and miraculously, everything seemed to be back to normal with us, or back to pre-Friday since I really wasn¡¯t sure what we were was really normal. Mason made my Tuesday by texting the following morning when I was in class, and I couldn¡¯t help but chuckle when I later re-read our conversation.


    Mason (10:43AM): Morning, angel. You in class today?


    Me (10:45AM): Morning, lose the angel, and unfortunately, yes


    Mason (10:52AM): You aren¡¯t going to win this one, angel-let it go. What time do you get out?


    Me (11:00AM): I will win Rat boy, and 1:00 but I¡¯ve got to work on a project this afternoon. Why? What¡¯s up?


    Mason (11:04AM): I like when you call me Rat. Want to grab a bite to eat tonight? You have to stop to eat, right?


    Me (11:06AM): Don¡¯t worry, that will be the last time I ever call you that.


    Mason (11:07AM): What¡¯s wrong with rats? Templeton was a cute little guy¡­ he was always helping out that girl and the pig.


    Me (11:10AM): What¡¯s wrong with rats? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Whats wrong with rats? Rats are disgusting, disease-infested, repulsive rodents. Ewww


    Mason (11:14AM): Cartoon rats, angel! Sweet, fluffy cartoon rats¡­


    Me (11:17AM): Like Pinky and the Brain? Two sweet, fluffy cartoon rats¡­ ha!


    Mason (11:18AM): Mickey Mouse


    Me (11:20AM): Splinter


    Mason (11:23AM): Remy from Ratatouille


    Me (11:25AM): Jerry, he was a mean little shit to poor Tom


    Mason (11:29AM): Fievel Mouskewitz


    Me (11:37AM): You really know Fievel¡¯s last name? You should be hiding somewhere in shame right now. Just wait until I share that tidbit of info with the rest of Jobu¡¯s Rum.


    Mason (11:44AM): Haha, blackmail does not become you, angel.


    Me (11:50AM): It¡¯s not blackmail if I don¡¯t want anything in return


    Mason (11:54AM): Are you always so giving? Never wanting anything in return for yourself?


    Me (11:57AM): I¡¯m good, I don¡¯t need anything


    Mason (12:02PM): You don¡¯t think you need anything, but I can show you otherwise¡­ come to dinner with me tonight, I¡¯ll show you a little of what you¡¯re missing


    Me (12:15PM): pick me up at 6:00


    Mason (12:15PM): cool


    As soon as my last class ended, I rushed back to the dorm, anxious to get started on my project so that I could finish up in time to shower and freshen up before Mason picked me up. I was excited to see him again, not having to wait until Friday after all; however, I¡¯d be lying if I didn¡¯t admit to being more than a little nervous. When I had messed around with him the previous weekend, I truly didn¡¯t think I would ever talk to him again, much less be having dinner with him four nights later. I wasn¡¯t sure what he was going to expect from me. A repeat performance? More? I shuddered in anticipation just thinking about it.


    Evie had gone straight from her last class to a study group session with one of her other classes, so I was left to my own thought while getting ready. The only other time Mason had seen me I was wearing Evie¡¯s clothes, so I was curious to see his reaction when I was dressed in my own style. I was in a blue and white striped casual summer dress, as it was still in the high 70s here some nights, paired with none other than my old faithful boots. I braided my hair into two braids since I was pressed for time, and at five ¡®til six, a knock on the door pulled me from my final inspection in the bathroom mirror. I grabbed my purse and greeted Mason with a huge smile and an open-mind.


    ¡°Oh, wow,¡± he said, not hiding the fact he was looking up and down my body. ¡°You look even better than I remembered.¡± His words made my heart flutter, and when he stepped towards me and kissed me softly on the lips, my stomach began a string of endless somersaults. He looked exactly as I had remembered-tall, strong, handsome, and dangerous. He was dressed similar to how he had been on Friday, dark jeans and a solid gray fitted t shirt that matched his eyes perfectly. I wondered if we looked a little mismatched. He definitely looked the part of a lead in a rock band with all of his tattoos and piercings, and I looked¡­ well I kind of looked like a farm girl.


    ¡°Damn, angel, the hair and the boots¡­¡± He lightly tugged on my pigtails, his eyes sparkled mischievously. ¡°Are you trying to kill me?¡± I guess he liked the farm girl look.


    I shook my head and looked down at my feet. ¡°Is this okay for wherever we are going?¡±


    ¡°You look perfect. Come on, I have something I want you to see.¡±


    Mason grabbed my hand and led me down the hall and out to the parking lot. I looked around for his car as we approached the visitor parking area, but didn¡¯t see it. Instead, a brand new black Harley Davidson was parked in the first spot of the paved section. I stopped walking and looked at him incredulously.


    ¡°Tell me you didn¡¯t buy a motorcycle.¡± It came out more like a question than a statement, but I already knew the answer. It was staring directly at me. He smirked and replied, ¡°Well, I hated to disappoint you, angel. I just got it today.¡±


    I walked closer to it, inspecting it like I knew something, anything, about motorcycles. All I could tell is that it¡¯s black and shiny and a Harley. I was glad that at least he hadn¡¯t gotten a crotch rocket; there was no way in hell I was getting on one of those. ¡°Why?¡± I wondered as I looked up in his slate eyes.


    ¡°Well, now I¡¯m the total package, right?¡± He waggled his eyebrows at me and I couldn¡¯t help but throw my head back in laughter.


    ¡°Your package was just fine before the bike,¡± I replied.


    He stepped behind me, pulled my back to his chest by wrapping his colorful arms around my mid-section, and seductively said in my ear, ¡°I¡¯m glad you enjoyed my package so much¡­¡±


    Giggling, I turned around to face Mason and loved seeing the playfulness in his expression. I draped my arms around his neck and attempted the same sultry voice that he had used moments earlier, ¡°It¡¯s the most magnificent package I¡¯ve ever seen.¡± And I pressed a light peck at the corner of his mouth. He groaned and pulled my lips back to his, demanding a longer, more intimate kiss. ¡°Don¡¯t say things like that Scarlett. We¡¯ll never make it to dinner,¡± he groaned into my mouth.


    I pulled back a bit and looked down out my outfit, wondering if I should change out of my dress to get on the motorcycle. As if he could read my mind, he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the parking lot. ¡°Don¡¯t even think about it. One of the main reasons I bought this damn thing is to feel your arms and legs wrapped around me while we ride. And its even better if you¡¯re wearing a skirt.¡±


    I knew better than to think that he wouldn¡¯t have a line of girls waiting to snuggle up to his chiseled body, but I was flattered that I was going to be the first on his new toy. At least I was going to be his first something.


    ¡°Seriously, why did you buy the bike?¡± I asked.


    Mason shrugged his shoulders as if going out and buying a motorcycle was an everyday occurrence. ¡°I¡¯ve wanted one for a while so when you said something the other day about how you were surprised I didn¡¯t have one, it made me wondered why I didn¡¯t. So, I got one.¡±

 Page 28

    ¡°Well, of course you did,¡± I said sarcastically. ¡°Did you pick me up a car while you were out?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have a car?¡±Advertisement


    ¡°Uh, no. My parents thought if I had a car, there would be a better chance of me sneaking out at night or running away,¡± I admitted.


    ¡°Wow, that¡¯s so¡­ so weird. You¡¯re lucky you turned out so normal,¡± he said with a confused face. I loved Mason¡¯s honesty and unapologetic comments. Much like a child, the filter from his brain to his mouth left quite a bit to be desired for many, but I appreciated his candidness.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be so sure that I am all that normal.¡±


    He kissed me quickly one more time before throwing his right leg over the bike and starting it. I inhaled sharply at the sight of him perched on the rumbling Harley. I had been right-it did complete the package. The vision of Mason sitting on that motorcycle oozed sex straight from his dark buzzed hair down to the chrome spokes on the wheels. I unconsciously squeezed my upper thighs together, trying to ease the ache that emerged.


    ¡°Get on, let¡¯s give you your first motorcycle ride and get some dinner.¡± He flashed me that panty-dropping smile and his eyes locked on mine. I happily obliged.


    Dinner went much like our breakfast together had. He took me to his favorite burger place, so it was nice and casual. We joked around about funny things we lost ourselves in on the internet. I admitted my strange obsession with the websites that showed auto-corrected text conversations. I could spend hours upon hours reading those and laugh until I was crying. He confessed to spending endless hours surfing Youtube watching anything and everything. We ranked childhood cartoons and best infomercials. My vote was still for either the Shamwow or the Ginsu knives, but Mason was a strong supporter of the Slap Chop.


    Our conversation rarely led us to discuss our pasts or any serious topics. We openly flirted and without blatantly engaging in PDA, we would each find an excuse to touch or brush up against the other. That in itself became a game to see who was willing to go the furthest without the other acknowledging what was happening. It began innocent enough with his hand brushing against mine on the table. In response I crossed my legs so that my foot rested against his calf. We continued the back and forth and then the next thing I knew, his hand had traveled up my thigh, under my dress, and was lightly tracing circles on my inner thigh, just inches from my blue lace panties. I could feel myself getting wet just at the thought of his fingers touching me, and the fact that we were in public and holding a normal conversation about which cereal was better, made it even more hot.


    I knew my face was flushed, I could feel the heat as it consumed my body. Mason seemed to like the effect he was having on me, and when I placed my hand to a similar place on his leg, I felt that he was experiencing similar effects. He leaned in towards me and said lowly, ¡°If we don¡¯t get out of here soon, I¡¯m not going to be able to walk out properly.¡±


    I smiled, I liked knowing that I drove him crazy with want. I moved my lips about a half an inch from his and whispered, ¡°What are we waiting for?¡± He stood up instantly, grabbed several twenties out of his wallet, and threw them on the table. I knew that was way too much money for what we had eaten, but Mason obviously didn¡¯t feel like waiting for the bill. He grabbed my hand and led me out of the restaurant and to the Harley. I wasn¡¯t sure what it was about him, but being around him made me lose most of my sexual inhibitions and want to try all kinds of nasty things I had only read and fantasized about.


    Mason¡¯s apartment was less than ten minutes away, and when we arrived I was pleasantly surprised. The brick complex appeared to have been newer construction and was very well kept. He lived on the top floor of a three story building. The interior was decorated in a simple, contemporary style and was exceptionally clean. Again he knew exactly what I was thinking while I looked around, and said, ¡°I have a weekly housekeeper and she was just here today.¡±


    I laughed, ¡°Well that explains it. I was wondering if you were an OCD clean freak or something.¡±


    ¡°Nah, I¡¯m not a slob or anything, but I¡¯m not into mopping floors or scrubbing toilets.¡± He grabbed my hand in his and said, ¡°We can do the grand tour later, first you need to see my bedroom.¡± I allowed him to pull me down the short hallway and into his room, which was amazing. He had a huge California king bed with all white bedding that stood out against the deep cherry wood of the furniture. It sat high off the floor and I thought I may actually have to crawl up into it. There was a collage of black and white photographs of different guitars on the wall opposite the bed. Gauzy white curtains framed the large window and a large white rug spread across most of the hardwood floor.


    ¡°It¡¯s beautiful,¡± I breathed.


    ¡°I¡¯m glad you like it,¡± he murmured in my ear, as he positioned himself behind me. He began to dust feathery light kisses all over my neck and shoulders and I couldn¡¯t help but moan in pleasure.


    ¡°Mason, we need to talk about something first,¡± I barely managed to get the words out. He stopped and turned me around by the shoulders. He looked deep into my eyes with his.


    ¡°What is it, angel? Is everything okay?¡± He seemed to be truly concerned.


    ¡°Everything is fine, I just need to be upfront with you about¡­¡± My voice trailed off, I wasn¡¯t sure exactly how to say it.


    ¡°About what, angel? Did I make you feel uncomfortable?¡±


    I shook my head no and looked up at him. ¡°Look, Mason, I really like you and I love the way you make me feel when you touch me and kiss me. It¡¯s like nothing I¡¯ve ever experienced before. But I¡¯m not going to have sex with you, not now and not in the foreseeable future, either. I¡¯ve waited this long so when I finally do decide to, I want to at least be in a somewhat serious, monogamous relationship where I at least think I¡¯m in love.¡± I paused for a breath and continued, ¡°I know that¡¯s not what you are looking for and I¡¯m not suggesting that between us¡­ And it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t want to do¡­ other things, because I do. I just didn¡¯t want you to think that I was ready for that.¡± When I finished talking, I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, nervous at what he was going to say in response.


    Mason cupped my face in his large hands and brought my face close to his. ¡°Scarlett, I¡¯m not going to lie to you. I want you so bad, so fucking bad. I really don¡¯t think you have any idea the effect you have on the male population. But we will never, and I mean never, do anything you aren¡¯t comfortable with. You¡¯re in complete control of how far this goes between us. Okay angel?¡± I nodded, never breaking eye contact.


    ¡°Will you teach me how to do things? I really feel so awkward, like I don¡¯t really know what to do¡­ I know that sounds silly, but I¡¯m just so inexperienced.¡±


    I could tell he was trying hard not to smile, but the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly and his eyes danced with amusement. ¡°So you want me to be your sex coach, but without the sex?¡±


    I slapped his chest while shaking my head and looked down at the ground, humiliated at how it sounded when he phrased it like that. ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant. I want to hang out and do other stuff, too¡­¡± He grabbed my chin and forced me to look back at his face.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be embarrassed.¡± He leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. ¡°I¡¯d love to show you anything and everything you want to know.¡± He kissed me again. ¡°And I want to hang out and do the other stuff, too.¡± With the third kiss, he used his tongue to part my lips and I melted against him.


    Mason picked me up and carried me over to his bed. He sat me down on the edge so that my legs were hanging off the side. He knelt in front of me and began removing my boots, keeping his eyes locked on mine the entire time. After he had discarded of both of my shoes and socks, he began to kiss my left calf and continued moving north until he reached the hem of my dress which lay mid-thigh. He then shifted over several inches and did the same to my right leg; however, when he reached the hem on that leg, he didn¡¯t stop. He used a combination of his lips and tongue to caress the inside of my thigh until it reached the lace barrier of my panties. Feeling the cool metal of his piercing drag across my skin was exhilarating. We groaned simultaneously when he pulled away. He stood up and claimed my mouth with his. He alternated between soft and sweet pecks and hard and deep thrusts of his tongue. My head swirled with lustful thoughts and my body clenched and moistened under his assault. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and tugged on the ring lightly with my teeth. A guttural sound escaped from him and he separated our bodies.


    ¡°Scarlett, can I take your dress off?¡± I nodded quickly and seconds later it was over my head and on the floor. I returned the favor by removing his shirt and was quickly reminded of how incredibly sexy his body was. My hands wasted no time in roaming over his chest and arms. Other than playing with his nipple rings, I still had not taken the time to really look at all of the art that covered his skin, and I was way too gone under his sensual spell at that moment to pay attention to anything but the way my body was responding to his gaze and touch. He kicked his shoes off, unfastened his jeans, and left both on the floor as he climbed into the bed with me, leaving him only in his boxers and socks. He moved me until I was situated in the middle of the colossal bed, propped up against the pillows. I still had on my matching blue lace bra and panties, but I knew that they would soon be gone too.


    Mason straddled my legs and nuzzled his face into my neck. He alternated kissing and nibbling at my sensitive skin and all I could think about was how unbelievably good he made me feel. The physical effect he had on my body was far more intense than I had ever imagined possible. He continued his ministrations down my chest and growled when he reached the cup of my bra. ¡°This needs to go too,¡± he mumbled. Happy to oblige, I arched my back off the pillows so that he could reach around to unhook the clasp. The moment the fabric left my breasts, they were recovered, one in his mouth and the other in his hand. I arched even further and grabbed the back of his head, keeping his mouth on my nipple.


    After several minutes of appreciating each nipple equally, he continued to lower himself down my body, stopping at my belly button to dip his tongue into it. It made me laugh and relax a bit as he got dangerously close to the edge of my panties. He looked up at me through his thick lashes, his eyes were full of lust and desire, almost as if he could devour me, but he waited to go any further until I gave him permission. I drew my lip in between my teeth and nodded.


    ¡°Scarlett, has anyone ever touched you here before?¡± Mason brushed his thumb against my wet folds with a feather-light touch. I gasped and instinctively clenched my opened knees against him. He was still staring directly into my eyes.


    ¡°Just me and BOB,¡± I answered quietly. I didn¡¯t want to talk; I wanted him to touch me again.


    ¡°Bob?¡± He cocked his head, confused.


    ¡°Yeah, you know, my battery operated boyfriend,¡± I answered quickly. I wondered why I had even said anything. I really wanted to get back to more of the doing and less of the talking.

 Page 29

    ¡°You have a vibrator?¡± A silly grin spread across his face.


    ¡°Yes, how else am I supposed to get through those trashy novels? I¡¯d get an early onset of carpal tunnel if I had to rely on my hand.¡±Advertisement


    He started laughing and shook his head. ¡°You continue to surprise me, angel. Vibrators and trashy novels. I¡¯m speechless.¡± He bent his head down and kissed my stomach, right below my belly button, and the electric charge that surged through my body triggered me to lift my hips and rub against him. He smiled, ¡°Slow down angel, I want to take care of you. This is how I should have thanked you on Friday.¡± He kissed my stomach again, the second kiss a bit lower than the first. I had to physically force myself not to lift my hips again. ¡°You just need to relax and enjoy. Let me show you how much I appreciate getting to be the first to do this.¡± Mason placed one last kiss on my lower abdomen before hooking his fingers onto each side of my panties and pulled them down.


    I had always thought that I would feel extremely self-conscious and awkward the first time I was bared in front of a guy, but surprisingly with Mason, I didn¡¯t feel that way. Even though this was only our second time to be around each other, I felt so comfortable with him that it just felt natural.


    ¡°Scarlett,¡± he breathed as he gazed down at my cleanly waxed lips. I had continued seeing Tina at the salon on a monthly basis at the insistence of Evie, and I was glad that I did. All the pain that I had endured suddenly seemed worth it as Mason admired my smooth body. He slid down to where his face was hovering directly over my sex, I could feel his warm breath against me and the sheer anticipation of his touch nearly caused me to come apart. He used both of his hands to keep my thighs open and then he bent his head down and softly kissed the top of my slit. I threw my head back into the pillows and whimpered. ¡°Please.¡±


    He didn¡¯t make me ask again. He lowered his head back into my lap and I allowed him to worship my body. The combination of his fingers and lips and tongue touching me, teasing me, felt better than anything I had ever experienced. When he slipped his first finger inside of me, I froze, all of my muscles tightening around him. He continued to kiss my body as he waited for me to get used to the sensation before moving any further. Minutes later he added a second finger and this time I pushed against his hand welcoming it. He started to move his fingers in and out of me in a slow but steady pace and I could feel the pressure building between my legs. Mason continued to tease me with his mouth and I tried to guide his tongue to my clit with my hands in his hair, but he wouldn¡¯t give in until he knew my frustration was nearing the tipping point. In that moment, he buried three fingers deep inside of me and sucked my clit into his mouth and my universe exploded. I don¡¯t remember much ¨C I clenched my eyes shut while I arched back into the pillows and euphoria engulfed my senses. It was bright colors and tingly feelings and rainbows and unicorns¡­ all of it. When my body stopped shaking with my release, Mason lowered me onto the bed and then laid down next to me, drawing me into his arms. I kept my eyes closed and wished I could stop time. Everything felt perfect.


    ¡°As sweet as heaven,¡± he mumbled into my hair.


    ¡°Mmmm¡± was the only response I could come up with. I was still in my post-orgasmic bliss and was unable to create meaningful thoughts .


    We lay there for a while longer, silent but relaxed. When I finally felt like I could move and be in control of my body, I rolled to face him. I scooted up so that I could kiss him. ¡°Thank you. That, by far, exceeded my expectations.¡±


    ¡°Anytime, angel, anytime.¡± Mason smiled.


    ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t need me to ummm¡­ help you out?¡± I asked and looked down at the predicament that still loomed in his boxers.


    He chuckled, ¡°No, tonight is just about you.¡± He kissed the tip of my nose. ¡°But I am going to take a quick shower before we go. You can make yourself at home, grab a drink, whatever you like.¡±


    I nodded and he rolled off the bed. Once I heard him in the shower, I got dressed and wandered into the kitchen to get some water. I wasn¡¯t sure how I was supposed to feel now, if different at all, but I didn¡¯t really - just happier. I didn¡¯t allow myself to listen to those voices screaming questions and warnings somewhere from the depths of my morality, instead I focused on the peaceful butterflies in my stomach that now lay sleeping, sated from all of their earlier acrobatics. Butterflies¡­ just thinking the word made my mind drift to Ash and wonder what he was doing and who he was with. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the problem in its simplest form¡­ all my thoughts ultimately ended with Ash.


    Chapter 25


    Evie still wasn¡¯t at our dorm when Mason dropped me off a little after ten o¡¯clock. I was a bit disappointed because I wanted to tell her about everything that had happened; I knew she was going to be so excited for me. After showering, I grabbed my e-reader and climbed into bed with the plan of reading until I heard her get home, but I woke up sometime in the early morning hours on top of my e-reader, open to the same page I had begun reading. I guessed my make out session with Mason had taken more out of me than I had originally thought. I realized that I still didn¡¯t know if Evie had made it home okay, so I went to check on her and found her and Max in a mess of limbs, blankets, and pillows in the middle of her bed. I smiled, happy that she had met Max, even if I did feel a twinge of jealousy. They had clicked instantly and had spent every night together since they met except for Sunday, but I knew that I hadn¡¯t been around much either over the past several days.


    Wednesday came and went uneventfully; my classes and coursework consumed most of my time. I filled Evie in on my dinner and trip to Mason¡¯s house first thing Wednesday morning at the table over breakfast. She laughed heartily at his ¡°sex coach without the sex¡± comment and then she told me that I should get rid of the ¡°without sex¡± part. I rolled my eyes at her, ¡°I¡¯ve known him less than a week, Eves. Plus he¡¯s like not exactly boyfriend material.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say anything about a boyfriend, Sam. It¡¯s sex, just sex. Don¡¯t make it more complicated than it needs to be,¡± she reprimanded me.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure I can do that. I just don¡¯t know how I¡¯ll feel or act afterwards.¡± I drank the rest of my sweet cereal milk from the bowl.


    ¡°Look, all I¡¯m saying is that I bet while you and sexy rocker boy are getting hot and heavy, you really want to have sex with him, but you keep telling yourself that you shouldn¡¯t because it doesn¡¯t fit into some preconceived notion you have about how your first time should be and who it should be with.¡± Evie downed her cereal milk too. ¡°I just think you should do what your body is telling you to do, whatever feels right in the moment.¡±


    I got up and put both our spoons in the sink while she tossed out paper bowls in the trash. ¡°If I do that, I¡¯ll be giving it up on Friday when I see Mason again, and every time I see him after that.¡± She turned and raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°I¡¯m just being honest,¡± I admitted. ¡°I get around him and my panties try to shimmy themselves down my legs, eager for his touch.¡± After a pregnant pause, we both cracked up as we tried to picture my panties working their own way down my legs. The image was quite humorous and not very flattering.


    Thursday¡¯s classes sucked. I wasn¡¯t sure if I had passed a surprise pop quiz in Biology and I broke a flip flop as I was walking to English, so I had spent the rest of the day barefooted. Thankfully, that night Evie and I had our movie date, which greatly improved my mood.


    I still hadn¡¯t heard from Dylan and was starting to get a little agitated. I thought that I at least deserved an explanation for what had happened Saturday, but at the same time, if I was being honest with myself, I wasn¡¯t completely sure I wanted to hear it. Ash and I continued to text back and forth every other day or so. We kept up with what was going on in each other¡¯s lives for the most part. BFFs¡­ just like we wanted, right? Ugghhh¡­


    Friday morning greeted me with the text that I had been both anticipating and dreading.


    Dylan (8:22AM) Can we talk?


    I groaned and threw myself back on the bed. I knew we needed to get this over with but I had never had to have an uncomfortable talk like this with a guy and it made me nervous.


    Me (8:29AM) How¡¯s tomorrow? Saturdays seem to work for you.


    I knew that I didn¡¯t need to make the snide remark about Saturday, but I was still a little pissed and my feelings were more than a little hurt about his strange behavior last Saturday followed by the lack of texts or calls for 6 days. All of this had been so out of character for him, at least it was for the Dylan that he had allowed to me know.


    Dylan (8:30AM) Fair enough. I¡¯ll be at your place at 5?


    Me (8:30AM) K


    By the time Friday afternoon rolled around, I was wound so tight with frustration and irritation; I thought I was going to snap. Fridays were usually the worst day of the week for me anyways because that was always day six of not seeing either Ash or Dylan. Day six of my male withdrawal. By Fridays, I longed for the following day when Dylan would hold me in his arms and kiss me sweetly. Even if it did lack passion and desire-filled lust, I enjoyed the time we spent together and thought of him as a good friend. A good friend that looked like a model and had soft kissable lips. And then of course there were my late nights with Ash and sleeping snugly in his arms until early the following afternoon. Those Sunday early morning hours were what I lived for and it was then that I felt most comfortable just being me.


    But Friday nights were the absolute worst. I would toss and turn, get hot then cold, look at the alarm clock no less than ten times¡­ So when I added the additional stress about the upcoming talk with Dylan, I needed a release in the worst way. Fortunately, my plans for the evening involved the one person that I knew could help me forget it all, even if it was for just the night.


    I was no fool when it came to Mason Templeton. I knew that I was way out of my league when it came to him in almost every facet of life, and I didn¡¯t for one minute fancy myself as the girl that was going to make him fall in love and change his bad boy, promiscuous ways. He was the lead singer in a pretty popular local band that was possibly headed for bigger things (according to the results of my Google search), co-owned a bar with his brother, and obviously wasn¡¯t hurting for cash. I was sure that he had hundreds if not thousands of girls in his bed and there was a line just as long waiting to be the next. As long as I didn¡¯t allow myself to forget any of those facts and not get emotionally attached, I was going to enjoy hanging out with this uber-sexy hot piece of sin and learn whatever he was willing to teach me. The reality of my situation was the guy I really liked was about to break off whatever it was that we had going and the guy I was in love with was never going to allow us to have a chance, so I figured why not spend time with the guy that I lusted after. The guy that made my body explode in a thousand pieces of pleasure with his hands and mouth. The decision was quite easy.


    It was a little after eight when I heard the growl of Mason¡¯s bike pull into the parking lot. I looked down at my short denim skirt and I shuddered at the thought of hiking it up and pressing my body against Mason¡¯s back. The first cool front of the fall had blown through the night before so instead of a tank top, I opted for a fitted, long sleeved, old ringer tee that donned the cover from Van Morrison¡¯s Moondance album. I hoped that Mason would understand my wearing it was a show of appreciation of his previous week¡¯s serenade. It clung to my body and it was extremely thin from hundreds of wears and washes which allowed my satin chocolate brown bra to be clearly visible (I may or may not have gone shopping that afternoon especially for this bra and panty set to match this shirt.) I threw on some brown leather flip flops, and opted for the pigtail braids again since I had assumed he¡¯d bring the bike and I didn¡¯t want my hair to be a tangled mess.

 Page 30

    I ran out of my room to meet him. Even though it had only been three days, I was so anxious to see him again, to touch him and just let loose for a while.


    ¡°Angel, what a breath of fresh air on this fucked up day. You look amazing as always,¡± he complimented me as I approached him taking off his helmet. He looked just as incredible as I had remembered, once again in a plain t-shirt, navy this time, and jeans, and I had no shame but to walk right up to him and wrap my arms around him. He just as eagerly put his arms around me and held me close to him.Advertisement


    ¡°Mason,¡± I said into his chest without pulling away. We stayed like that for several minutes. I didn¡¯t know what had happened in his day and he didn¡¯t know about mine, but we both seemed to know that we needed the physical contact, the closeness, at that moment. No words were necessary. We finally tore apart and Mason broke the silence.


    ¡°Okay, that was enough seriousness for the night. We both need to forget about whatever shitty kind of day we had and relax. Let¡¯s go have some drinks and listen to what I hope is some halfway decent music.¡± He tilted his head at me as if he was asking my approval for this plan.


    ¡°Are you not playing tonight?¡± I asked, a little confused.


    ¡°Nope. Marcus changed up the schedule this week so that Friday nights are now open mic and Thursday and Saturday nights are scheduled sets,¡± he explained with a mischievous gleam in his eye.


    ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°What are you not telling me?¡±


    He leaned down to me and put his forehead on mine. ¡°I may have had some pull on the schedule change so that I could actually spend some time with you tonight instead of having to worry about performing,¡± he admitted sheepishly. I couldn¡¯t help but grin goofily and feel all gooey inside that he would go through the trouble of changing the entire bar¡¯s schedule so he could spend time with me, but I was also sad that I wouldn¡¯t get to hear him sing.


    ¡°So when will I get to hear you sing again?¡± I pretend pouted.


    ¡°I¡¯ll play a song or two tonight acoustic if you want, but you¡¯ll have to either come on a school night or bring your Saturday boy with you to the bar.¡± He moved his lips closer to mine so that were only centimeters apart.


    ¡°Well, that won¡¯t be a problem any longer,¡± I whispered, bringing my lips so close to his that they were practically touching. ¡°No more Saturday night guy.¡± He didn¡¯t wait any longer to capture my mouth in his and I sighed in relief at the sensation of his mouth on mine. The kiss was long and hungry and I hoped a preview of what was in store for the rest of the night.


    ¡°Come on, Angel. Let¡¯s get going before I give you another lesson right here in this parking lot,¡± Mason growled into my mouth. His words mixed with the pure wanton lust in his voice inspired a small growl of my own, which made him kiss me again. Finally, we separated and got on the motorcycle, both of us more than a little worked up.


    When we got to the bar, Mason pulled his motorcycle around to the back where he parked close to a back door. He helped me off the bike and picked right up where we left off in my parking lot. He held me close against his body, I could feel that he was still hard as he pressed against my abdomen.


    ¡°Do you feel what you do to me? Do you have any idea how crazy you are making me right now?¡± He asked in a low voice as he kissed the top of my head. He began moving his mouth down to my neck and ear and continued to talk and kiss. ¡°Tasting your mouth again?¡± Kiss. ¡°Those fucking sexy ass pigtails?¡± Kiss. ¡°Seeing you in that damn see-through shirt?¡± Kiss. ¡°Feeling your heat through those damp silky panties while you were pressed up against my back?¡± Kiss.


    I stepped back before I had a damn orgasm just from him talking to me and kissing my neck. ¡°We should go inside before you try to start another lesson, Teach.¡± I smiled up at his handsome face. It was taking every ounce of inner strength I had not to drop to my knees in front of this Adonis in the parking lot and take his cock in my mouth. Luckily, before I could do anything completely stupid, he agreed and grabbed my hand to pull me through the back door.


    Mason stopped by the office to let Marcus know that he was there even though he was technically off. Marcus was a little friendlier to me during our second meeting and I was surprised that he had remembered my name when he greeted me. We said goodbye and ventured into the main area. The room was fairly crowded and there was a girl on stage that was pretty good. Mason placed his hand possessively at the small of my back and guided me through the crowd to his regular table. I recognized several of the people there from last Friday, but didn¡¯t remember everyone¡¯s names. Mason seemed to sense my unease as we approached the table because he whispered in my ear, ¡°The only people you need to know here are Cruz and Sebastian, Aaron isn¡¯t here and he¡¯s the only one that has a girlfriend that¡¯s worth remembering. Cruz is my childhood best friend and Sebastian is his cousin.¡± He kissed the top of my head and I nodded. I remembered which ones were Cruz and Sebastian as soon as he said their names. Despite the fact that I did not find him attractive, Sebastian appeared to have no problems getting female attention as he had two brunettes snuggled up to him. However, it could easily be argued that Cruz, while not as physically impressive as Mason was, had just as much sex appeal as his best friend. He was average size in both height and build, but his bright green eyes combined with his darker complexion and long black hair was fascinating.


    Everyone called out their greetings to Mason, or Rat rather, when we got settled onto his bar stool. He insisted that I sit on his lap again, so I positioned myself on one of his legs, with my legs dangling in between the two of his, so I could still see his face and be able to kiss him whenever I felt like it. Mason gave a universal hello to everyone around the table, but then turned to address Cruz and Sebastian. ¡°Cruz, Sebastian, you remember Scarlett from last Friday.¡± I knew that there was no way that they were going to remember me from any other bimbo that Mason usually had curled up in his lap.


    ¡°The girl from last Friday? Angel?¡± Cruz¡¯ question was directed more at Mason then at me, but they were both looking at me curiously. Of course they would remember because of Mason¡¯s ridiculous little concert he dedicated to me.


    ¡°Yes, isn¡¯t she incredible?¡± Mason answered him. He lightly pulled on one of my braids with one hand, kissed my cheek, and placed his other hand high up on my thigh. I blushed furiously knowing that everyone was watching us.


    ¡°Fucking brilliant, Rat,¡± Cruz said. I turned to look at him, not sure if he was being sarcastic or not, but when his emerald eyes locked onto mine, I was startled to see the pools of desire that stared back at me. Unable to control my reaction to him, I clenched my upper thighs tightly together and lightly dug my fingernails into Mason¡¯s shoulder. It only took a matter of seconds for me to realize that I needed to break the stare, which I quickly did, but not without Mason observing the entire exchange.


    Surprisingly, he chuckled and looked over at Cruz, ¡°Not with this one, man.¡± Mason shook his head. ¡°Not a fucking chance. You have no idea.¡± He brought me closer to him and wrapped one of his arms tightly across my waist and kissed the side of my mouth. I wasn¡¯t exactly sure if I understood the entire conversation that just took place, but I was pretty sure that Cruz was asking Mason to share me with him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Angel, no one else is going to touch you,¡± Mason assured me. I didn¡¯t bother to tell him that I wasn¡¯t worried in the least about Cruz because it was then that I noticed they were introducing the next local musician ready to take a shot at impressing the crowd. When Ash walked onto the stage with his acoustic hanging around his neck, I inhaled deeply and my body stiffened. You¡¯ve got to be fucking kidding me.


    ¡°Up next is Ash Walker,¡± the announcer guy said into the microphone as the bar patrons all clapped enthusiastically at his introduction. Ash pulled one of the available stools up onto the stage and adjusted the microphone. He looked out into the crowd and showed his irresistible dimple.


    ¡°Ah shit,¡± I heard Mason mumble against my back.


    ¡°Thank you. I had actually planned to do a different song that I have been working on, but instead, I just noticed that a friend of mine that¡¯s here, so I¡¯m going to invite her up to play with me, if that¡¯s okay with all of you. I think you¡¯ll really enjoy this.¡± Everyone cheered. He turned and looked at me sitting in Mason¡¯s lap and every eye in the bar followed his. ¡°Scarlett?¡± He asked in the microphone. ¡°Care to join me?¡±


    I was going to fucking kill him when I got my hands on him. I could not believe he put me in this position and even though he acted like it was all innocent, just two friends who like to play guitar together, I couldn¡¯t help but think he was sending a message to Mason. I turned to Mason and asked if there was an extra acoustic I could use. He stood up with me and walked with his hand in mine over to the back of the stage where he grabbed a guitar out of a case. He leaned down and kissed me solidly on the mouth. ¡°I will beat his ass later if you want me to.¡± I just nodded my head, completely aware of the silence and stares still focused in on me. I walked up on stage where Ash had already pulled another stool next to his and set up a microphone. I glared at him letting him know that I was none too happy with his antics, but he just smiled and patted the stool.


    ¡°Sit down, butterfly,¡± he purred. Still contemplating bashing him over the head with the guitar, I lowered myself on the stool. ¡°Lover¡¯s Eyes?¡± he asked. I nodded and tried to focus less on the ass sitting in front of me and more on not making an idiot of myself. I looked over at Mason and gave him a tight smile. He nodded his head at me and smiled back. I was sure he was just as curious as everyone else what this was going to sound like.


    I closed my eyes and took myself back to Ash¡¯s room and pictured us sitting on his bed and tried to relax. I allowed him to lead us in as I always did, and then I joined him, in both guitar and voice. I looked into his beautiful face and forgot being mad at him while we lost ourselves in each other and the song. By the first chorus, I had forgotten about the other people there and just let go. We sang to each other, lost in the magical melodic connection that we always seemed to produce. We cut the song short since in its original version, it was well over five minutes, and as we stopped playing, a hush fell over the crowd. And then, a burst of applause shattered the silence and we even received a standing ovation from many of the people. I couldn¡¯t believe it; my heart filled with joy at everyone¡¯s positive reaction. I looked over at Mason, hoping to God that he wasn¡¯t mad, but he too was standing and clapping with a huge smile spread across his face. I was so relieved that he wasn¡¯t upset and couldn¡¯t wait to snuggle back into his lap.


    I slipped off the stool, gave a small curtsey, and put the guitar back in its case. I didn¡¯t dare look at Ash during my exit, I turned off any emotion I felt for him. I would not allow him to ruin my night with Mason any more. People congratulated and complimented me as I walked back over to Mason¡¯s table and I smiled and nodded my appreciation. I could hear Ash¡¯s voice in the background singing, but my sole focus was on one rather large, pierced, tattooed, really fucking sexy rocker that was just a few feet in front of me.

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    Mason was standing with his feet slightly apart, his arms crossed in front of his chest, and his lips pressed together in a firm line. He sort of looked like a bouncer guarding entrance to the bar stool behind him. I walked straight up to him and looked into his charcoal eyes, everyone at the table was silent and focused in on the two of us. I had thought he wasn¡¯t upset since he had been smiling and clapping, but all of a sudden, I was nervous that he was mad at me. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Finally, he said something.


    ¡°That was the fucking sexiest thing I¡¯ve ever seen,¡± Mason growled. He grabbed both sides of my face in his hands and attacked my mouth and neck right there in front of everyone. Everyone started hooting and hollering and yelling lewd comments, and I couldn¡¯t have cared in the least bit. When Mason¡¯s lips were anywhere on my body, it was as if all brain functions except those centered around physical pleasure were temporarily paralyzed.Advertisement


    ¡°I¡¯m ready to go,¡± I whispered up into Mason¡¯s ear between my panting breaths.


    He chuckled and pressed his lips against my forehead, ¡°We just got here, angel. You know what everyone would think?¡±


    I looked around at the people near us. Everyone had resumed their conversations or making out or listening to the next guy up on stage. ¡°I don¡¯t care what they think. I don¡¯t want to be here if he¡¯s going to be. I¡¯m really angry right now and I need you to help bring me back down¡­ relieve some tension,¡± I looked up at him through my thick eyelashes. ¡°Please.¡±


    ¡°I could never deny you anything, Angel,¡± he said shaking his head at himself. ¡°Especially if it involves me and you and relieving tension.¡±


    I kissed him. ¡°Thank you, Rat.¡±


    He threw his head back in a hearty laugh. ¡°What am I going to do with you, you little musical, virtuous, angel?¡±


    I scrunched my nose at his description of me. ¡°I sound like I should be on top of a Christmas tree. Do I light up, too?¡±


    He grabbed my hips and spun me around so I was facing the exit and my back was against his chest. ¡°I made you light up on Tuesday and I plan on doing it again as soon as we get back to my place.¡± He kissed the center of the back of my neck and shivers ran down my body. I couldn¡¯t wait.


    Chapter 26


    Saturday morning brought with it stormy weather, which I thought was ominous for the ¡°talk¡± that Dylan and I were going to have later in the day. The night before with Mason had been just about perfect, minus the Ash hiccup. Back at his apartment, we spent hours exploring each other¡¯s bodies and after my third orgasm, I passed out in his bed. I had no idea that someone touching the back of my knee and the palm of my hand could be such a turn-on. Waking up with him had been a little strange since the only guy I had shared a bed with was Ash¡­ and Ash and I didn¡¯t sleep together naked. So when I woke up in a foreign room, draped in heavy limbs, and looked down to see myself and a male body completely in the buff, I had a more-than-a-minor freak out until I recalled the events of the prior evening.


    I wiggled out from under Mason¡¯s body and went to the bathroom to get cleaned up and dressed. When I returned to his room, he was still dead asleep. I didn¡¯t want to wake him, he looked so peaceful and innocent. Against my better judgment, I stripped out of the clothes that I had just put on and rejoined him in bed. The next time I woke up, it was to Mason¡¯s tongue teasing the most sensitive parts of my body while his hand lightly traced patterns on the inside of my upper thighs.


    One more orgasm each later, Mason took me back to my dorm with a promise to see each other again soon. I knew that at any time Mason could decide he didn¡¯t want to continue to play along with this game that I was making the rules for. I had told myself to just enjoy any time that I did get with him, and after just our first three lessons, I had gained quite a bit of confidence while in bed with him. Mason had not once eluded or attempted to go all the way with me. He was respecting my wish to not go there, even though I could¡¯ve easily been persuaded in the heat of the moment.


    Saturday afternoon passed quickly and before I knew it, it was time to take a shower and get ready for Dylan¡¯s arrival. Where part of me thought I should get all dolled up so that Dylan could see what he would be missing, but in the end I threw on a gray camisole and some yoga pants. I was too tired to care. I did at least blow dry my hair and put a little mascara and lip gloss on so that I didn¡¯t look completely awful. I wished that Evie would have been there to help calm my nerves with her always insightful advice, but she was spending the entire weekend at Max¡¯s because he was going to be out of town the following week.


    At five ¡®til five, a knock on the door alerted me of Dylan¡¯s arrival. I wiped my clammy palms on my cotton pants and went to let him in. Dylan looked as handsomely GQ as ever in his khakis and forest green golf shirt, even with the uncommon dark circles under his gloomy eyes. Despite what had happened or what was going to happen between the two of us, I hated seeing him so obviously stressed and strained. I immediately stepped towards him and we wrapped our arms around one another, neither of us saying a word. He squeezed me so tight that I thought he may have bruised a rib, but I didn¡¯t dare complain.


    After several minutes, we finally pulled apart and I led him to the sofa in the living area. I grabbed us both a bottle of water and then sat down on the couch, facing him with my legs tucked up underneath me.


    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you, Dylan,¡± I said with a small smile.


    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you too, Scarlett,¡± he returned the sentiment. ¡°I¡¯ve wanted to call so bad, but I just wasn¡¯t sure what to say.¡±


    ¡°Well, let¡¯s start with the truth. What happened last Saturday? Everything was going so good and then you just started acting weird and then you just left? No explanation¡­ nothing.¡±


    He looked around the room, obviously uncomfortable with my direct, to-the-point questions.


    ¡°Dylan, look at me,¡± I scolded. ¡°I¡¯m a big girl, I can handle it. Just tell me the truth.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± he exhaled loudly as he began. ¡°I have been best friends with a girl named Jillian for the last few years. We met at freshman orientation, both non-native Texans, and we hit it off instantly. When we first met we were both in a serious relationship with someone from our respective home towns. The situation was perfect for us to be friends because we could hang out and have fun, and even though we were both attracted to one another, we respected and understood the difficulties of having a long distance relationship, so neither of us ever crossed the line. Well of course, neither of those relationships lasted, and then we each dated other people and somehow, we just never were both single at the same time.¡± He paused to take a drink. ¡°I realized a long time ago that I was in love with her, but I was always too scared to act on it because I didn¡¯t want lose her as a friend. So, I went on with life as did she.¡± Dylan ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.


    ¡°When I met you back in August,¡± he continued, ¡°I was instantly charmed by your natural beauty and your honest and sincere personality. Then, the more time I spent hanging out with you and talking to you on the phone, the more I realized how much I really liked you. I honestly thought that you might be the one to make my heart forget about Jillian. But a little over a month ago, she and I were out at a bar and we started drunk talking about love and life and all of that¡­ and then before I knew it, we were kissing. Afterwards, I was a wreck. I didn¡¯t know what to think about if or how things changed between her and me; and I felt guilty about what I had done to you and about whether or not I should tell you.¡± He looked into my face, trying to gage my reaction.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t have to tell me Dylan, we weren¡¯t exclusive or anything. You just needed to tell me if y¡¯all were going to get together so that I wasn¡¯t cheating with some other girl¡¯s man. I don¡¯t do that,¡± I assured him.


    He nodded. ¡°Well, Jillian and I didn¡¯t decide to get together after that kiss. We really didn¡¯t even talk about it. But it did change things between us. The way we looked at each other became different¡­ more sensual, more intense, more possessive. I¡¯m not sure exactly how to describe it, but I know you understand the emotions behind it. It¡¯s the same way you and Ash look at each other.¡±


    My eyes shot to his face at his last sentence and he smiled understandingly at me. I didn¡¯t even bother to argue or defend my and Ash¡¯s relationship because it would¡¯ve been no use. Dylan knew how I felt about Ash because he felt the same way about Jillian.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I forced out of my vocal chords, not sure what else to say.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be, Scarlett. But just understand why I didn¡¯t tell you about her before, and understand that I did enjoy spending time with you, the same way you did with me¡­ well, at least I hope you did.¡± He grinned widely at me. I simply nodded in response. I certainly did understand.


    ¡°So back to last Saturday,¡± Dylan wiped the smile off his face and looked solemnly in my eyes. ¡°The night before our date, Jillian and I had a sit down talk to discuss our feelings and we put everything out on the table¡­ including our clothes if you know what I mean.¡± He closed his eyes and winced at his revelation. I stifled a laugh as I remembered back to the Friday night before and thought that I probably had Mason¡¯s cock in my mouth around the same time that Dylan was balls deep in his bestie. He opened his eyes and saw that I wasn¡¯t even close to upset. ¡°You¡¯re not mad that I had sex with someone else the night before I took you on a date?¡± He asked incredulously.


    ¡°No, Dylan, I¡¯m not. I am actually happy for you and Jillian. I just wish you would have told me. We didn¡¯t have to go out the next day. You could¡¯ve taken her instead.¡±


    ¡°I would never do that to you. I really wanted to tell you that night, but we were having such a good time. And honestly, I knew it would likely be the last time that we ever went out, so I was trying to enjoy it. My getting together with Jillian doesn¡¯t change the fact that I really like you. It¡¯s actually more of a reason that I need to stay away from you. You are a temptation that I find hard to refuse.¡± Even as he was saying the words, lustful thoughts weighed down his eyelids and his voice dropped. I would be lying if I didn¡¯t admit that I was a little bit tempted to crawl over to him, straddle his lap, and kiss him senseless. But sanity and reason prevailed, and I stayed sitting on my cushion. I wasn¡¯t that girl and I didn¡¯t need any more drama in my life.


    Instead, I kissed the backs of his hands that were threaded through mine. ¡°Dylan, I wish you and Jillian all the luck in the world. I would love to remain friends with you, possibly even meet her, but I would never want to do anything that would cause a problem in y¡¯all¡¯s relationship in any way. You just let me know, okay?¡± He nodded and I continued. ¡°I want to thank you for being such a gentleman and a great friend to me when I first got here. I will never forget that.¡±

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    With nothing more to really say, we both stood up and I walked him to the door. Right before he opened it to leave, Dylan turned around and hugged me. ¡°I hope Ash is smart enough one day to go after what his heart really wants. Until then, take care of yourself and promise me you won¡¯t get involved with any douchebags,¡± he whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek. I laughed and I felt truly content with the way things were ending with Dylan.


    ¡°I promise.¡±Advertisement


    I found myself sitting in my dorm alone on a Saturday night with no plans and no way of getting anywhere even if I did; it was eerily similar to the way I had spent the first eighteen and a half years of Saturdays in my life. With Evie gone and Dylan out of the picture, I wasn¡¯t sure who to even contact about making plans. I didn¡¯t even have Mina¡¯s or Jess¡¯ numbers, Evie always took care of making our plans with them. I opened the contacts section of my phone and found I only had two other numbers besides family members: Ash and Mason.


    As much as I wanted to, I definitely wasn¡¯t calling or texting Mason after spending the entire previous night with him. It was up to him to contact me; the last thing I wanted to come off as was clingy or desperate. I contemplated whether or not I should message Ash; I had never initiated a texting conversation with him mainly for the same reasons I didn¡¯t want to do the same to Mason. My grandmother had always told me when I was younger, ¡°Never chase after a boy, Scarlett. You let them chase you.¡± I felt like I was chasing them both in a way as it was, I didn¡¯t need to blow up their phones to emphasize the fact.


    I hadn¡¯t heard from Ash since I walked off the stage and practically out the door of the bar. I guessed that he either didn¡¯t care if I made it home okay this time or he assumed I wasn¡¯t going home or maybe both. For the life of me, I could not figure him out. I also wanted to yell at him about his stunt calling me out the way he had done. I wasn¡¯t really mad at him any longer, if his goal had been to piss off Mason, it had quite the opposite effect. I probably owed him a thank you.


    I really didn¡¯t want to spend the rest of the night by myself, so I swallowed my pride and hoped he would respond.


    Me (7:55 PM) You going to J & N¡¯s tonight?


    Luckily, he didn¡¯t make me wait long.


    Ash (7:58 PM) Was planning on it. You going with Dylan or Evie?


    Me (8:00 PM) Neither. Not seeing D anymore, Evie at Max¡¯s. Want to come get me?


    I figured there was no reason to beat around the bush.


    Ash (8:03 PM) I¡¯ll be there at 9


    Me (8:o4 PM) K, See you then


    Pleased with myself for rectifying my lonely night and having the self-confidence to ask Ash to come and pick me up, I skipped to my closet to find something to wear.


    An hour later I opened the door to find Ash wearing almost the exact outfit that I had on: worn out jeans, a navy blue t-shirt (mine was a bit more fitted than his), and brown flip flops. We took one look at each other and cracked up laughing.


    ¡°I guess I need to change,¡± I said, turning around and heading back into the room with Ash following close behind. I could smell his unique Ash scent and couldn¡¯t wait to snuggle up in it later that night.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care if you change or not. I think it¡¯s pretty funny actually, and besides, you look good in that,¡± he said. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face him. I expected him to say something else but instead he just stared deep into my eyes. It was like he was trying to read some deep dark secret buried in my soul or something. After what seemed like an hour, but was probably more like a minute, I broke the silence. ¡°If you¡¯re sure, then I¡¯m ready. Just let me grab my phone and my purse.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure if he expecting or wanting me to bring up the previous night, but I had decided it was best if I didn¡¯t.


    I gathered my purse and phone, locked up, and followed him out to his car. I wasn¡¯t sure about Ash but to me the whole situation felt rather bizarre¡­ almost like a date. We had never gone anywhere together with just the two of us in a car. I tried hard to remind myself that it wasn¡¯t, that he was simply a friend giving me a ride to a party that he happened to be going to anyways, but my heart refused to listen and was fluttering violently as he opened the car door for me.


    We hadn¡¯t been on the road but two or three minutes when Ash looked over at me and asked, ¡°What do you say we grab some Chinese takeout and take it back to my place and just hang out there? Meg had a project or something so she wasn¡¯t going tonight either.¡± He looked hopeful that I would agree and my heart soared even higher. The higher it climbed, the further it would fall¡­


    ¡°Sure, that sounds fine,¡± I agreed, trying not to sound too eager. Hmmm, lets see. I can go hang out at a party and watch a bunch of girls throw themselves at Ash without even Dylan there to distract me, or I could go spend the entire evening at Ash¡¯s house, just the two of us. And Meg, I reminded myself, but she sure wasn¡¯t interested in getting in Ash¡¯s pants. It wasn¡¯t a very difficult decision.


    Half an hour later, Ash, Meg, and I sat around their kitchen table stuffing our faces with the feast that Ash had ordered for us. Meg had let me borrow some pajama pants so that I could relax completely and not have to hang around in my jeans. We all joked around and complained about the coursework that we had to complete before the Thanksgiving holiday. After dinner, Meg excused herself and disappeared into her room to work on her project. Ash and I refilled our drinks and moved down the hall into his room. He grabbed a pair of his pajama pants as well and went into the bathroom to shower. While I waited for him to return, I noticed a large drawing on his desk that he had obviously been working on. At first glance it appeared to be a tribal butterfly, similar to several tattoos I had seen before. However, as I looked closer, I noticed that the names Eros and Psyche were interwoven into the wings of the butterfly. I immediately thought back to the first night I had met Ash and ended up spending the night in his bed, that night we had unknowingly began our string of Saturday night sleepovers, and the night that he had called me Psyche.


    All I knew about the story of Eros and Psyche was the short summary that Ash had given me when I had asked him about it before. I had never looked up the entire myth, I think I was afraid that I would get my hopes up that he meant something more than he did by calling me that. And since that day he had only called me butterfly, so I really hadn¡¯t allowed myself to think about it again. But now that I saw this beautiful butterfly that held the names of Psyche and Eros, I had to know the full story.


    Ash exited the bathroom showered and changed. I loved the smell of his soap that lingered on his skin long after using it. It made me think of waterfalls and cold springs. I didn¡¯t even give him a chance to say anything before I bombarded him.


    ¡°I want to know the whole story of Eros and Psyche. Will you tell it to me?¡± I asked demandingly. He looked at me and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.


    ¡°Did you see what I was working on?¡± he asked, already knowing the answer. I lowered my eyes and nodded. I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth and hoped he wasn¡¯t mad that I had been snooping around. I looked back up at him and his gaze was focused in on my mouth. I released my lip and he brought his eyes back to mine.


    ¡°I thought you were going to look it up?¡± A look that I thought (hoped) could¡¯ve been disappointment passed over his face.


    I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the floor. ¡°I just haven¡¯t had a chance with school and all.¡± I knew that sounded like the lamest excuse, but I didn¡¯t know what else to say.


    ¡°Come sit down and get comfortable and I¡¯ll tell be happy to tell you the world¡¯s first fairy tale.¡± He smiled warmly at me and patted the bed next to him as he crawled in and adjusted the pillows. ¡°I¡¯ll even begin with ¡®Once upon a time¡¯ and end with ¡®and they lived happily ever after¡¯ if you want,¡± he teased. I stuck my tongue out at him.


    Over the next hour, Ash went into great detail telling the beautiful, enduring story of love that would not be denied between Aphrodite¡¯s son Eros, the God of Love, and Psyche, the exquisite maiden princess. He described how their path to one another took many unnecessary turns due to interference from jealous outsiders, miscommunication, stubbornness, and lack of trust; however, in the end, as in all good fairy tales, true love found a way to persevere. Eros and Psyche were able to forgive each other for their shortcomings and were determined to overcome any obstacles necessary to be together. Zeus was so impressed with their undying love and selfless dedication to one another, that he allowed Psyche to drink ambrosia, the drink of the Gods, and granted her immortality so that she and Eros could be together forever.


    As Ash finished the story, I realized how many of the current day romance books and movies were so similar to this myth that was thousands of years old. I guessed the trials and tribulations of finding true love, as well as the sheer joy and bliss of living in it once you have it, were something that humans had experienced from the beginning of time.


    I wasn¡¯t sure how long I had been lost in my own thoughts, but I finally noticed Ash just staring at me with a boyish grin on his face. ¡°What are you thinking about, butterfly?¡±


    When I told him what I was pondering, he nodded and agreed. ¡°Love really is a tricky thing, isn¡¯t it? It has definitely been the inspiration for more art, more writings, more music¡­ shit, even more deaths, than anything else in history.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a necessary evil, isn¡¯t it? Or I guess you could say a tragic inevitability,¡± I mused. ¡°We all love someone, whether it be erotic love, or family love or even self-love. So we are all dependent on the happiness and nirvana that is felt when that love is strong and healthy, but vulnerable to the heart-wrenching pain of that love when it¡¯s either taken away or not returned.¡± Unfortunately, I was beginning to learn firsthand the misery of unrequited love.


    He pondered my words for a moment. I thought he was going to say something in response, but instead he changed the subject. ¡°The intriguing thing about the myth of Eros and Psyche is that it¡¯s not only a story about their love for each other, which of course is the prominent theme, but it also emphasizes Psyche¡¯s personal growth and self-discovery. Her ability to battle through the misfortunes and sufferings bestowed upon her, revealed to her the strong, courageous, soulful woman that she truly was. It was because of this that the Greeks use the term Psyche to refer to both the human soul and butterflies. Psyche represents the metamorphosis of a dying human soul to that of immortality when true love fills that soul, much like when the caterpillar changes into the beautiful butterfly.¡±


    When he stopped, he looked so deep into my eyes that I was sure he could see my soul. I didn¡¯t know what to say; all I could think was that I hoped he never stopped calling me butterfly. I wanted to kiss him and I was pretty sure that he wanted to kiss me, but neither of us were brave enough to make the first move, neither of us strong enough individually to put our pride and fears aside. So we continued to deny ourselves a chance at our fairy tale and instead, we settled, miserably, for friendship.

 Page 33

    ¡°I need a drink, do you want something?¡± I was somewhat relieved that he found his voice as he got off the bed and headed for his door. I was the worst kind of weak ~ I wasn¡¯t strong enough to put myself out there for him, for a chance at us, but I also wasn¡¯t strong enough to detach myself from him. I was completely at his mercy to wherever he wanted our relationship to go. He would have to make the decisions; I just didn¡¯t trust myself to.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll take a glass of milk,¡± I answered with a forced smile.Advertisement


    ¡°Milk, of course,¡± he chuckled. ¡°Only you, butterfly.¡±


    While he was in the kitchen, I snapped a picture of the drawing with my phone. I wasn¡¯t sure what it was about the sketch, but it inexplicably drew me to it, an effect similar to the one that its creator had on me. In the future when I looked at that picture, I would be reminded of not only the mystical fairy tale that I continued to hope for myself, but the private moments that Ash and I spent in his room.


    We spent the rest of the night hanging out as we typically did on Saturday nights. We had a jam session and watched a little tv. We never discussed Eros and Psyche again, nor did he ever ask me about why I wasn¡¯t seeing Dylan anymore or what was going on with me and Mason. I wished he wanted to talk about it, I hoped the thought of me intimate with someone else made his stomach churn like mine did when I thought about him with his multitude of girls that passed through his sheets. I had hoped that his jealous responses to seeing me with Mason would make him see that he should pursue something with me, but suddenly I wondered if it was jealousy at all that fueled his actions, maybe he really was just protecting me from someone he thought would hurt me¡­ like a friend would do.


    Chapter 27


    Thanksgiving dinner the following Thursday with my family had been brutal. My parents treated me as if I had the plague or if I had killed their favorite pet; they didn¡¯t even bother to put on a show in front of my grandparents or my brother and his family. I escaped to Evie¡¯s house as soon as everyone had left after dinner and didn¡¯t speak to my parents again that weekend. It really hurt my feelings the way they had so easily turned their back on me, they gave me no credit for playing the role of the perfect child for eighteen fucking years. Instead they chose to base the current state of our relationship over one argument that we had. I had apologized for the disrespectful way that I had spoken to them, but not for the words I had said. My mom had told me that it wasn¡¯t good enough. I was beginning to accept the fact that I would never be close to my family again. The thought made me sad, but not enough to give in and give back the little bit of the real me that I had uncovered in the last few months.


    The next several weeks passed in the blink of an eye. The air outside grew colder and the foliage on the trees began to disappear. Evie and I began to prepare for our first set of finals as mid-December approached quickly. We studied and we read and we studied and we made charts and we studied¡­ I thought both of us were susceptible to a brain explosion due to the sheer amount of knowledge that we attempted to shovel inside.


    She saw Max as much as possible around the school work, even if it meant they just got to sleep in the same bed a couple of nights a week. They were so adorable together and I loved seeing Evie happy all of the time. I continued to see Mason, and by ¡°see¡± I meant do every sexual act that I had ever wanted to do with a guy except actual penetration, several times a week. He would pick me up and take me to dinner and we would go to the bar for a while either for him to do a set with Jobu¡¯s Rum or occasionally one of us would perform at open mic night. We had a hard time keeping our hands off of one another when we were together whether in public or in private. I craved his touch; the orgasmic release that he brought me to over and over again allowed me to temporarily forget about the emptiness in my heart that only the love of Ash Walker could fill.


    Mason knew how I felt about Ash, I had been forthcoming with him from the beginning. He always told me that Ash was the biggest fucking tool ever for not pursuing a relationship with me, but that he owed him a thank you because it allowed us time to spend together. I liked Mason, more than I wanted to admit. His was brutally honest and really didn¡¯t care what anyone else thought about him. I envied his carefree attitude and self-confidence. I loved being around him and I loved being wrapped around him even more. It had become impossible for me to remain emotionally unattached from him, as much as I tried. It seemed that I was determined to set myself up for heartbreak no matter what.


    Ash and I continued on as we had been¡­ friends. He, along with Jess, Meg, & the crew, became regulars at Mason¡¯s bar on Friday nights where he often performed. I would always go over to say hello to all of them, but never lingered. Ash never asked me up onstage with him again, but I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if his song selections at times were made on my behalf. Often the lyrics hit a little close to home, but I did my best to ignore him and focus my attention on Mason. The only time we ever mentioned the time spent at the bar when we were together Saturday nights was when he complimented me on a performance and vice versa.


    Evie and I introduced Mason and Max and they hit it off immediately. Together they had booked both Jobu¡¯s Rum and 32 Leaves to play at a music festival in Dallas. The festival was scheduled the third weekend of December which unfortunately, was the weekend before mine and Evie¡¯s comprehensive Biology final. We were super bummed that we couldn¡¯t go watch our men in action, but instead we spent the three days studying and hanging out like we used to do. We watched girly movies, drank cheap wine, and painted each other¡¯s toes. Other than the studying part, the weekend was exactly what I needed. Reconnecting with Evie reminded me of what a wonderful friend she had been to me for so many years. She had taken me under her wing time and time again, and without her I wouldn¡¯t have been anywhere near the person I was. I owed her everything, and now that my parents no longer wanted to be a part of my life, she was all that I had.


    Monday morning arrived before I knew it. I was thankful that after the Biology final, I would be finished with classes for the semester - my first semester of college in the books, literally. Luckily the dorms that we lived in did not make us vacate over the holidays because both Evie and I wanted to stay in Houston as long as possible. Mason and Max were scheduled to be back the following day and we were both in need of some serious ¡°stress relief.¡± Sunday night Evie went to bed early because of another headache. She said she wanted to make sure she slept it off before the exam the following morning.


    I was surprised that by the time I entered the kitchen in the morning that Evie wasn¡¯t up yet. She always woke up before me. I yelled out to her, ¡°Evie, get your scrawny ass up. We¡¯ve got to leave in 45 minutes.¡± I went on about my morning routine, getting the coffee started and making us both a bowl of cereal. After I didn¡¯t hear her start moving around, I called out to her again, ¡°Evie! Wake up! Come on, chica, you¡¯re cereal is going to get soggy!¡± Still no response.


    I started to get worried so I made my way to her room and swung the door open. ¡°Evelyn Rose, get up now!¡± I barked, but she did not move. Instantly, I knew something was very wrong. I ran to her bed and grabbed her arm. I gasped and dropped it immediately. The lack of color and cold, clammy feel of her skin confirmed my worst fear; she was dead. Lifeless. My best friend was gone forever. Shock set in instantaneously. Nausea consumed my entire body. A sob rooted deep in my chest traveled up the back of my throat and obstructed the air flow, forcing me to breathe in loud gasps. Thousands upon thousands of thoughts crossed through my mind - it happened so fast, I could not process anything and soon my head was pounding. I had so many questions. What happened? Why? How long had she been like this? How did I not know that something was this wrong? How could this be happening? What am I going to tell her parents? What am I going to do without her? What am I supposed to do? Why her? Why me? Why? I just couldn¡¯t stop - I was afraid my brain was going to explode from sheer overload. Thoughts were moving so fast they were almost a blur. I¡¯m not sure how long I sat on her bed next to her, it could¡¯ve been 5 minutes or 5 hours, but eventually a warm numb spread across me. The thoughts stopped for the most part, my stomach didn¡¯t hurt as bad, and soon I just didn¡¯t feel at all. I was so disconnected, like I was watching life through someone else¡¯s eyes or something. It was unearthly almost. Reality hit hard when it hit and I knew I had calls to make, most definitely the single hardest phone call that I would ever make in my life.


    Eventually I mustered up the strength to pull myself out of her bed and went to search for my phone. The call to Evie¡¯s parents was even worse than I imagined. No one should have to tell a parent that their child is dead, especially not someone that loved the deceased nearly as much as the parents did. I threw up several times after hanging up with them. Miraculously, I made it through the phone call without crying. I still had not shed a tear, it was like my tear ducts had dried up.


    My next call was to 911 and the appropriate services were dispatched. The operator offered to stay on the line with me until someone arrived, but I declined. I needed to be sick again.


    The next call was to my parents. Even though our few conversations over the last several months had been awkward at best, I knew that they would want to know. My mom was deeply saddened by the news, she began crying immediately. She offered my old room to me if I needed a place, I told her thanks and that I would let her know, but I knew I would never stay there again. Our relationship had become so strained, staying there would be more uncomfortable than I was willing to bear.


    I sat on the couch until the police and ambulance arrived. They asked me questions. I answered them. I did not feel anything. I just sat there. They took her body and then I was alone. Completely alone.


    Evie¡¯s parents got there in what seemed like minutes, even though it must have taken several hours. They found me sitting on the couch, I couldn¡¯t move. I couldn¡¯t think and I couldn¡¯t move. I heard Evie¡¯s mom call Jess to come stay with me so that she and Evie¡¯s dad could go to the hospital. Jess, Meg, and Ash all showed up some time later. I could see the red rims of their eyes and the dried up tears on all of their faces. I still hadn¡¯t cried. What was wrong with me? I thought maybe I was dreaming or maybe it was me that was dead, but when Jess shoveled scalding hot soup into my mouth and burnt every taste bud on my tongue, the nightmare that my life had become was confirmed to indeed be real.


    The rest of the day was a blur really. At some point I got off the couch and moved into my bed, or someone carried me there, I really couldn¡¯t remember. I woke up there in the dead of night, screaming at the top of my lungs, the vision of Evie dead in her bed had stamped into my brain. Moments later Ash and Meg were both on my bed, both holding and rocking me as they tried to calm me down. I guess I fell back asleep because the next thing I remembered was waking up to the sun peeking through my blinds. They were both still in on either side of me, their arms wrapped around me. I¡¯m sure the three of us looked ridiculous scrunched on that full sized bed, but I was relieved they were there.

 Page 34

    I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I knew they both woke up when I got off the bed, but neither of them said anything to me.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± I choked out before I disappeared behind the bathroom door.Advertisement


    For the most part I was still pretty numb. It was like my brain wouldn¡¯t allow me to think about it, about her. I guess it was some sort of self-preservation defense mechanism or something. But I knew that I couldn¡¯t stay in bed for the rest of my life; I needed to figure out what was going on, what I was supposed to do next. I knew that I had to keep moving, one foot in front of the other, just keep moving. The first step was a shower.


    When I got out, Ash and Meg were no longer in my room. I appreciated the privacy since I had forgotten to take clothes with me and only had a towel wrapped around me. I threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and went to face my Evie-less future.


    I found Ash and Meg sitting at the table, each holding a cup of coffee, but neither drinking it. They sat silently, staring at nothing, lost in sleep-deprived thoughts. When I entered the room, they both stood up quickly and rushed to my side.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, I¡¯m fine,¡± I said softly. We all knew I was lying. I looked at Meg first, thanking her for the night before with just my look. She smiled slightly and said ¡°you¡¯re welcome¡± with a nod. Then I turned to Ash. He engulfed my body with his before I could say a word. He held me so tight up against him, I was afraid he was going to bruise my ribs. But I didn¡¯t say a word. I needed him to hold me close. I needed to feel protected and close to someone. I needed to not feel alone


    ¡°Oh, butterfly¡­¡± were the only words he needed to say.


    I pulled my head out of his chest and looked up at him, but stayed snuggled against Ash¡¯s warm body. ¡°So what¡¯s the plan? Have any arrangements been made? Where are her parents?¡± I began with my questions.


    Meg spoke up from behind me. ¡°Evie¡¯s parents are at our house staying with Jess. They made arrangements yesterday for a small service this afternoon at the funeral home¡¯s chapel. They are going to have her cremated so there won¡¯t be a graveside service.¡± I flinched when she said the word ¡°cremated.¡±


    ¡°Meg, that¡¯s enough,¡± Ash scolded her as he tightened his hold on me.


    I shook my head, ¡°No, that¡¯s okay. She needs to be honest with me and I want to know what¡¯s going on.¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°Do they know what happened? Why?¡±


    ¡°Initial reports showed a brain bleed. They were doing further tests overnight so we should know more today,¡± Meg answered again.


    A brain bleed? The headaches, the fatigue, her weakening eyesight¡­ it all made sense. I should have pushed her to go to a different doctor. I should have made sure that she followed up with someone when the headaches didn¡¯t go away. I should have done something that would have saved her life.


    ¡°Has anyone called Max?¡± I blurted out. Ash and Meg looked at each other and shook their heads.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t think so,¡± Ash said quietly.


    ¡°I need to call him. He should be on his way home from Dallas now. He was there playing at a music festival over the weekend,¡± I explained as I broke free from Ash¡¯s arms.


    ¡°You really don¡¯t need to do that right now, Scarlett.¡± He tried to wrangle me back in, but I stepped further away from him.


    ¡°No, I do. He needs to get here in time for the service. He wouldn¡¯t want to miss it.¡± I began searching the dorm for my apartment for my phone when I made the realization that Evie¡¯s boyfriend and Evie¡¯s parents would meet for the first time at her funeral. I rushed to the bathroom only to discover that there was nothing left in my stomach to discard.


    A few minutes later I had gathered myself enough to leave the bathroom and make the dreadful call to Max. He answered on the first ring.


    ¡°Hey Scarlett, what¡¯s up?¡±


    ¡°Hey Max, are you guys on your way home?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, we left a little more than an hour ago. Why? Is everything okay? Where¡¯s Evie?¡±


    ¡°No, Max, everything is not okay. You need to get home as soon as possible. Come straight here.¡±


    ¡°Scarlett, you are scaring me. What¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t talk about it over the phone, Max. I just need you to get here. And please, don¡¯t say anything to Mason for me.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s in a different car, I won¡¯t see him again until we get back. Scarlett, tell me what¡¯s going on! Where the fuck is Evie? Is she hurt?¡±


    ¡°Just get here, Max.¡±


    I hit the end button and stared at the phone. Why was this happening to me?


    ¡°If you were going to call him, you should¡¯ve told him, Scarlett,¡± Ash said. ¡°He¡¯s going to be worried sick. He¡¯s going to think the worst.¡±


    ¡°He should think the worst, Ash! She¡¯s dead! That¡¯s about as fucking bad as it gets!¡± I screamed at him. I stormed into my room and slammed my door. I threw myself on my bed and hid my head under my pillow. I wanted to disappear. I wanted everyone and everything to go away. I wanted to be alone. I still didn¡¯t cry.


    Unfortunately, Ash either didn¡¯t get the hint or decided to ignore it because a few minutes later, I heard my door open and close quietly. He climbed into bed with me and gathered me into his arms. He held me close, rubbing my back, and kissing the top of my head. ¡°It¡¯s going to be okay, butterfly. I promise. I know it doesn¡¯t seem that way right now, but I promise you are going to be just fine. I will be here for you, for whatever you need. Jess and Meg and you and me¡­ we are all going to get through this together, okay?¡±


    I didn¡¯t respond. I didn¡¯t really think he was looking for an answer anyways. I knew he was saying what he thought I needed to hear, and honestly, it did make me feel a little better even though I knew he had no idea if I was going to be okay or anyone else for that matter. I let him hold me until I heard Evie¡¯s mom¡¯s voice carry through the thin walls of the dorm. I got up, knowing that I needed to be strong for her. She had just lost her only child, and I owed it to her to make this day as painless as possible. There simply wasn¡¯t room for any more pain.


    Chapter 28


    The funeral was¡­ well, it was a funeral. Evie¡¯s parents kept it very small and low-key. In addition to a few of Evie¡¯s extended family members, Jess was there with Jacob, Nicholas, Vicki, Meg, and Ash. Mina and all of the 32 Leaves¡¯ members were there to support Max. He seemed to have taken the same approach to life post-Evie as I had - numb. I sat with Evie¡¯s parents in the front row, my parents couldn¡¯t make it with such short notice. After the priest conducted the formal portion of the ceremony, they opened the floor to anyone who wanted to speak.


    Jess approached the microphone first. I was so proud of her as she kept herself together as she retold funny stories of her and Evie being mischievous and getting in trouble when they were kids. Max walked to the front of the room next, his acoustic in tow. Just looking at him broke my heart even more, and at that point, I thought that feat was impossible. He pulled a stool from the side of the altar area and sat down, his guitar in his lap.


    ¡°I never in a million years thought I would I meet someone as perfect for me as Evie was. I still can¡¯t believe that she¡¯s gone. I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to do. I¡¯m just going to play this song.¡± I had never heard Max sing or play the guitar before; he played the bass and occasionally the keyboard in the band. But he was good, really good. He poured his heart into every word of that song. When he sang the words, ¡°And if you were with me tonight, I¡¯d sing to you just one more time, A song for a heart so big, God wouldn¡¯t let it live,¡± I almost lost it. I almost broke down in uncontrollable tears. I almost allowed myself to feel all of the pain that was sitting there, waiting to be let into my heart. Almost.


    It took every bit of willpower I had to make me move and take Max¡¯s place on the stool once he had finished. I had to sit down because there was no way that my legs were going to hold me up for long. Typically, I would¡¯ve been a little nervous to speak in front of people, especially unprepared, but since my emotion switch was securely on the off position, I was immune to the nerves as well. I addressed the small gathering.


    ¡°As you all know, Evie has been my best friend for forever. There really aren¡¯t words that can do her justice; she was my rock, my everything. I hope everyone is blessed enough to have someone as wonderful as Evie in their lives. Despite how awful I feel in this exact moment, and believe me, I never imagined that I could hurt so Goddamn much, I wouldn¡¯t give a moment back. Not one single moment.¡± I managed to make it back to the pew next to Evie¡¯s mom without tripping on an imaginary stump or passing out cold. I didn¡¯t hear much more of what was said from that point on. I tuned everything out until I saw everyone stand up and start walking towards the door.


    Before the funeral, Evie¡¯s parents had spoken with me privately about how they wanted to handle Evie¡¯s things and the dorm for the rest of the year. They gave me her car, just flat out gave it to me. I tried repeatedly to refuse, but they insisted that they wanted me to have it. There were only a few items from her room that they wanted to take with them, a few photos and pieces of memorabilia. They told me that I could keep whatever I wanted and they would send someone to box up the rest for donations. In addition, they told me that they had prepaid for the dorm for the entire school year, and they wanted me to stay. I still hadn¡¯t decided what I was going to do about the following semester, but I didn¡¯t want to tell them that then. Finally, and most importantly, they offered their home to me - anytime, no questions. I would never forget her mom¡¯s words to me, ¡°Scarlett, you are our only daughter now, dear. Our home is your home, whenever you need it or want it. We will continue to take care of you as if you were our own. Evie would want that. We want that.¡± I nodded and thanked them both. I could not imagine how they could be so selfless and giving at a time when the most precious thing in their life had been tragically ripped away from them. I felt like a selfish bitch because all I could think about was how Evie¡¯s death was going to affect me, how I was going to move on¡­ I had given little thought to the utter devastation that her parents must be dealing with.


    Evie¡¯s parents left directly from the funeral home to go back home. They hugged me tightly and reminded me that I could call on them at any time for anything. It should¡¯ve been me saying those things to them. I said my goodbyes to everyone before heading back to the dorms; I needed some alone time. Ash and Meg both asked me several times if I was going to be okay by myself. I assured them that I really needed some time to get my thoughts together and I wanted to have at least one evening by myself. They seemed reluctant to let me go, but I promised that I would call or text them at any point if I needed them and someone would come stay with me.


    It was a little after 5:00 when I returned to my room. I just sat on the couch in the silence, I wasn¡¯t really sure what to do. I considered going ahead and cleaning out Evie¡¯s room, but quickly rejected that idea. I was grieving, not a masochist. I thought about reading a book, but I knew that I didn¡¯t have the attention span to focus on anything that required comprehension. I opted to put a movie on. I looked at figures moving around the television, interacting with each other, but I had no clue what was actually going on. I laid down on the couch, still refusing to think about the events of the previous thirty-six hours. My phone alerted me that I had a text message, so I mindlessly crossed the room to retrieve the message.

 Page 35

    Mason (5:32PM): I missed you, angel. Want to grab dinner?


    I hadn¡¯t even thought about Mason since I had instructed Max not to tell him about Evie. The thought of allowing him to take me to places where I didn¡¯t have to think about the cruel fucking world that we lived in sounded tempting¡­ really tempting. But I decided that it was best if I didn¡¯t see Mason. I knew that I would have to tell him what had happened and I really wasn¡¯t ready to do that yet. I couldn¡¯t just down right ignore his text. He probably would¡¯ve gotten worried and come looking for me. At least I liked to think that he would¡¯ve. I didn¡¯t want to make up a lame excuse either, but I didn¡¯t know what to say.Advertisement


    Me (5:36PM) Can¡¯t tonight. Evie¡¯s parents came in town today


    Mason (5:37 PM) That¡¯s cool. Will call tomorrow


    That was the best I could come up with that wasn¡¯t a lie. He seemed to accept my reason for now, but I knew that he would start asking questions if I avoided him for more than a couple of days.


    A half hour or so passed and I continued to stare into nothingness. I decided to do some research online about the grieving process. I hoped I would come across something that would perhaps make feel a little better, or at least reassure me that how and what I was feeling was somewhat normal. As I surfed from site to site, I came across one in particular that caught my interest. The intent of the page was to offer free tools and support for anyone grieving a loss of someone special in their life, it labeled itself ¡°a healing place.¡± There were pages of inspirational quotes and writings, suggestions of ways to honor the lost loved one, and other ideas and exercises to assist in surviving loss. However, one section of the site was completely devoted to butterflies and their symbolism of transformation, rebirth, and renewal. The butterfly was explained to not only represent the deceased, who in their ultimate transformation changed from their human body to the eternal soul bound for heavenly bliss, but also the bereaved, who struggled to deal with loss and unwelcomed life-altering adjustments.


    I continued to read through the some of the material when I came across a quote that really spoke to me. It reminded me of both Evie and myself.


    Like the butterfly,


    I have the strength and the hope to believe


    In time


    I will emerge from my cocoon¡­


    Transformed.


    Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS


    I read those five lines over and over until an idea crept into my mind, and suddenly, I knew what I needed to do. After a quick Google search of nearby tattoo parlors and directions, I jumped up and went to my room to get dressed and pack an overnight bag. Minutes later, I was out the door.


    I pulled into the parking lot of a strip center that was only about ten minutes from campus. I was nervous as hell and making the decision to get a tattoo the day after the most important person in my life died, probably wasn¡¯t the best idea. But I was there and I refused to back out, I needed to do it for so many reasons. The tattoo would not only be to memorialize Evie, but also to remind myself of my hope and faith that fairy tale endings did indeed exist and my own transformation from a sheltered, inexperienced girl to a young woman forced to deal with love, lust, and loss ~ my own metamorphosis.


    A couple of hours later, I was a couple of hundred dollars poorer and my left calf was on fire, but I couldn¡¯t have been happier at the image that stared back at me when I looked at it. I couldn¡¯t wait to get to Ash¡¯s place to show him, I knew he would be shocked to see what I had done. I hoped that he wouldn¡¯t mind that I had used his sketch as the basis of my body art without asking him first. I quickly pushed the thought away, I was sure he¡¯d be flattered that I had loved it so much. The tattoo artist had done a wonderful job of translating the photo on my phone to the image permanently inked into my skin. I pulled into the driveway, ran up the walkway, and knocked firmly on the door. Meg greeted me with a strange look on her face.


    ¡°Scarlett, hi! Are you okay? Did you try to call? Is everything alright?¡± She looked back over her shoulder down the hall.


    ¡°Yeah, I just reconsidered y¡¯all¡¯s offer for company, so I thought I¡¯d come stay here, if that¡¯s okay? My dorm is a little cramped compared to this house and I really just don¡¯t want to be there.¡± I walked into the house and noticed that neither Jess nor Ash was in the living room or kitchen.


    ¡°Where is everyone?¡± I asked.


    Meg chewed nervously on her lip. ¡°Jess is at Jacob¡¯s and Ash is in his room.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll let him know that I¡¯m here and put my bag up,¡± I said as I walked to his closed door. I contemplated whether I should tell him immediately about my new addition or wait and see how long it took him to notice.


    ¡°Scarlett, wait¡­¡± she started to follow me, but it was too late. I opened Ash¡¯s door to find a topless blonde straddling his naked body on his bed.


    ¡°Oh my God.¡± I said as I dropped my bag on the floor. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was my voice or the sound of the small suitcase hitting the hardwood that alerted them to my presence, but as soon as they saw me standing in the door, the blonde dove for an article of clothing and Ash¡¯s horrified eyes locked onto mine. It was a damn good thing for everyone involved that my near comatose state of feeling was still in place and I hadn¡¯t morphed into the anger phase of my grieving yet, otherwise, I may have literally killed someone.


    ¡°Scarlett, please, this isn¡¯t what it looks like,¡± Ash tried to explain as he covered up his body with his comforter. Blondie had rolled off the other side of the bed and was hiding from me on the floor while trying to redress.


    ¡°Show me a little fucking respect and don¡¯t feed me that God-forsaken line!¡± I sputtered. ¡°I¡¯m not one of your stupid whores nor am I your fucking girlfriend, so you don¡¯t owe me an explanation. I just thought that you may give your dick one fucking night off, to mourn the loss of someone who I thought you considered your friend, or at least be there for your other friends while they pay their respects! But obviously I was wrong. At least I know where I rank. It¡¯s probably best that I figure this all out now anyways because I didn¡¯t have very far to fall to feel the rocky bottom under my feet!¡±


    ¡°She just showed up without calling,¡± he pleaded. ¡°Butterfly, don¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°DON¡¯T fucking ¡®butterfly¡¯ me! I am NOT falling for that shit again. Because of you I will cringe every time I see a Goddamned butterfly again for the rest of my life. You owe an entire species an apology!¡± I guess I¡¯ll be wearing long pants every day for the rest of my life or until I could afford to get this damn thing removed. I was such a dumb ass. I turned around and grabbed my bag off of the floor. I didn¡¯t even turn around to utter the last words I would ever say to the guy that I loved, ¡°I would have gone to hell and back for you, Ash. Anything. I would have done anything, but instead you broke my psyche.¡±


    I marched past Meg, out of the house and directly into the car. I drove around the block just to get out of sight of the house and I pulled my phone out of my purse. Before I could even think, my fingers had made my decision for me.


    Me (9:10 PM): Still want to hang out?


    Mason (9:11PM) Yeah, I¡¯ll come pick you up


    Me (9:11PM) Not necessary, I¡¯m on my way to your house.


    Me (9:11PM) I need you.


    Mason (9:12PM) I¡¯m waiting


    Me (9:12PM) Wait naked.


    Chapter 29


    Mason wasn¡¯t naked when I arrived at his apartment, not that I really expected him to be, but he did look incredibly sexy in his pajama pants and wife beater when he opened the door. I, on the other hand, was wearing pathetic like it was a designer label. Of course it had started raining on my drive over, so by the time I dashed from the car to his front door, I was a soaked mess. My stringy hair stuck to the sides of my face; my clothes doubled in weight and clung to my shivering body; and I was sure that any remnants of mascara I had on was streaked down my face. As soon as he saw me, he quickly ushered me inside.


    ¡°Scarlett, are you okay?¡± he asked with true concern. ¡°Come in here, let¡¯s get you out of those wet clothes and warmed up.¡±


    He did not wait for me to answer before pulling me by the hand directly to bathroom and making me strip. I quickly ridded myself of my shirt and pants and my bra was soon to follow. I heard him suck in a breath as I stepped out of my panties, leaving me stark naked in front of him. I stared vehemently into his gray eyes; I wanted him to touch me and to hold me and to kiss me until I was numb. I felt so vulnerable, both physically and emotionally, standing there as Mason¡¯s hungry gaze took in my body like it was the first time he had seen me without clothes. Sensing my need for physical contact, he enveloped me in his arms tight against his body and I exhaled a breath I didn¡¯t even know that I was holding.


    ¡°I missed you too, angel,¡± Mason joked. ¡°Did Evie not keep you warm at night while Max and I were gone?¡± I flinched when he said Evie¡¯s name; I had forgotten that he didn¡¯t know. The thought of her made me squeeze his neck even tighter.


    ¡°I guess that¡¯s a no? Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll take good care of you and make sure you sleep soundly,¡± he was still teasing but his voice had dropped an octave into a seductive rumble. ¡°I also see that you have a surprise for me.¡± His eyes focused on the angry red skin on my outer calf.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m a little shocked to be honest. You¡¯ve never told me that you wanted a tattoo. I would¡¯ve gone with you.¡± He seemed a little disappointed that I didn¡¯t include him.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t really know I was getting it until the last minute. It was a rash decision that I¡¯m afraid I¡¯m already regretting,¡± I said truthfully.


    ¡°It looks really fresh. When did you get it done?¡±


    ¡°Today.¡±


    ¡°Well, I like it,¡± Mason gave me a goofy grin that I couldn¡¯t help but smile back at. ¡°Now you only need twenty or thirty more and you can look like me.¡±


    ¡°I think this is going to be it for me.¡± It was already one too many.


    ¡°I¡¯m assuming there¡¯s a sentimental meaning behind it since it has those names in it? Something you brought in for them to do?¡±


    I just nodded my head. I knew that he wanted me to tell him the story behind it, why I had chosen that particular design, but I decided not to tell him about Evie¡¯s death quite yet. I wasn¡¯t ready to relive the entire event and my brain needed an escape from analyzing the what-ifs and the what-nows that had begun while I sat alone in my dorm room earlier. Also, I didn¡¯t want his pity. I wanted him to be with me because he wanted to be, not because he felt like he needed to make my hurting feel better, like it was some duty. Not like Ash.


    I kissed his neck and deflected the conversation off of any mention of Evie. ¡°I did miss you, smart ass.¡± I pulled back slightly and smirked. I traced my finger down his jaw line, ¡°Are you ready to show me just how much you missed me?¡±


    He didn¡¯t answer with words. Instead he captured my mouth with his and kissed me with intense passion and fervor. There was no gentle brushing of the lips or timid touching of tongues; it was open mouths, clashing teeth, dueling tongues, and roaming hands. He lifted me up so that I could wrap my legs around his waist and he walked us out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. Our mouths never left one another¡¯s.

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    Mason lowered me onto the bed with my head nestled into the pillows. He hovered over me still completely dressed and I reached for the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head. He obliged and I was rewarded with the sight of his impressive upper body. I could never get tired of studying the tattoos that covered him, I loved tracing each one, first with my finger and then with my tongue. I looked down at his pants, they needed to go too. I unknowingly said the last phrase aloud and he shook his head and smiled, ¡°Not yet. First, I¡¯m going to show you just how much I missed you, angel. Now, put your hands above your head here and grab hold of the headboard. Don¡¯t move your hands, just enjoy me enjoying you.¡± I didn¡¯t think twice. I lifted my arms above my head and held the wooden slats tightly. I needed this so fucking bad. I needed to forget everything else.


    He lowered himself on top of me to where our bodies were pressed against each other, but not to the point where his weight was heavy on me. He started at the place right behind my ear that I knew he loved, and then made his way down my body exploring every square inch of my body with either his hands, his lips, or his tongue. He left behind a wake of fire, his touch searing my skin and leaving a warmth entrenched deep inside me.Advertisement


    Mason traveled all the way down my leg to my foot and then back up again. He was extremely careful around the raised and irritated skin on my leg. When he reached my already slick folds, he didn¡¯t hesitate to extend the treatment to my most private of areas. He utilized all of his weapons of mass pleasure at once - his tongue flicking my clit, his mouth sucking on my lips, and his fingers deep inside my core. It didn¡¯t take him long to bring me to my first orgasm. He knew my body probably as well as he knew his own, and he loved knowing that he could bring me to the edge and then push me over so fast. I sure as hell didn¡¯t mind either. I had heard that many girls didn¡¯t experience regular orgasms either because the guy they were with didn¡¯t care whether or not she came or didn¡¯t know how to bring her there. I guess I lucked out that my sex coach without sex was so experienced, and I often got to experience multiple orgasms in a night, all by the magic he worked with his hands and mouth.


    It took me several minutes to come down from my trip into sensual outer space. Mason continued working his way up my body, rubbing and kissing me, until he reached my face. He hesitated to kiss me, I had never kissed him on the mouth after he went down on me, but for some reason, at that moment, tasting myself on Mason¡¯s mouth seemed like the most natural thing to do. I released the headboard and grabbed the back of his head while rising up to meet his mouth halfway. That was the sexiest kiss I had ever experienced and by the sounds that came from Mason, I think he felt the same. I felt his cock jerk on my stomach and my body instinctively pushed against him. We groaned into each other¡¯s mouth, we were both struggling against the carnal need that was fighting to be fulfilled.


    ¡°Scarlett, you have no idea¡­ I¡¯m trying¡­¡± he whispered. I cut him off by putting my index finger over his lips to shh him. I used my other hand to reach between our bodies and push down on the elastic band of his pants. He lifted his body so that I could rid him of his last piece of clothing.


    When he lowered himself back on top of me, his erection was pressed against my clit and pubic bone. The pressure on my nub alone was enough to drive me crazy with lust. He kissed me softer and slower than he had earlier. I appreciated that he was trying to be gentle and tender, but my body was hungry and desperate.


    ¡°More. I need more,¡± I panted, wiggling my body against his.


    Mason¡¯s body stilled and he lifted up so that we were no longer touching. I whimpered at the loss of contact. He locked his eyes on mine. ¡°Scarlett, you said you didn¡¯t want to. Please don¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t say no to you.¡± He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. ¡°I want it to mean something for you. You need to love the person you¡¯re with the first time, make it special. Look, I am hopelessly in love with you, but I know that you love Ash¡­ and sometimes that¡¯s just the way things work out. But I don¡¯t just want to just fuck you, I want to make love to you. Like I¡¯ve never done with anyone else.¡± He lowered his eyes at his confession.


    I was shocked to hear Mason say that he was in love with me, but I selfishly wouldn¡¯t give that moment back for anything - the first time a guy said he loves me. It made me feel comforted and wanted and alive. I knew that I loved Ash, but I was so angry at him. And I was so angry at Evie for dying and leaving me alone. Mason¡¯s touch was the only thing that made me feel better, and damn it, I deserved to feel better. So I did the most selfish thing I could do, I lied.


    I cupped Mason¡¯s face in my hands and forced him to look at me as I said the words. ¡°I love you, Rat. I love you so much and I want you to make love to me right now.¡±


    Chapter 30


    It was still dark outside when I woke up and I could hear the rain pounding relentlessly on the window. Mason was asleep on his back and I was curled up next to him, using the nook between his chest and arm as my pillow. I moved my legs to reposition myself and the soreness that I felt between them caused me to freeze. The events from the previous day flooded my memory. The funeral. Evie¡¯s parents. The tattoo. Ash. The blonde. Mason. Me. I love you. Sex. Oh shit, what did I do?


    I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping, praying, that it was all a bad dream. I wanted to go back seventy two hours and redo every moment of it. I slowly opened my eyes and moved the lower half of my body again. There was no denying the tenderness from where Mason¡¯s body had been.


    I had asked him to take me, to make love to me; I had even told him I loved him so that he would without reservation. I was angry and hurt by Ash. I had felt lonely, desolate, abandoned. Mason¡¯s touch, like always, made me feel coveted and cherished. I loved that he craved me; I needed him to love me.


    I was an awful person. I was so much worse than Ash. I lied to Mason just so I wouldn¡¯t be alone. I was afraid I would be alone forever. My relationship with my family was estranged. The guy I thought I was in love with was fucking other girls. And my best friend, the person I had spent nearly every day of my life with for over ten years, was dead. Mason was all I had left and because of my selfish behavior, I had ruined that too.


    Mason making love to me was wonderful. He had been so gentle, so patient. He had made sure that I was taken care of in every way and was only interested in giving me the perfect first time. However, despite the physical and emotional fullness that I felt during those intimate moments, I had never felt emptier than when I woke up and had to face what I had done.


    I started to have a mini-panic attack. My stomach knotted with anxiety, my mouth dried up, and my breathing became labored. I needed to get out of there, fast. I couldn¡¯t deal with all of it at once. I managed to climb out of bed without waking Mason, thankful that he was such a heavy sleeper. My clothes were still in a wet pile on the bathroom floor so I put on a pair of Mason¡¯s boxers and t-shirt that I found in the dryer. I grabbed my purse and keys that had been disposed of on the bar, and quietly let myself out the front door. It was still pouring rain and by the time I reached my car, I was a freezing wet mess once again.


    I went straight to my room to change clothes and grab a few things. I didn¡¯t know where I was going, but I was too much of a coward to stay at Mason¡¯s and face him. I couldn¡¯t stay another night in the dorm without Evie, and I sure the hell wasn¡¯t calling Ash. After a hot shower, I threw on the first articles of clean clothing that I came across. I had desperately needed to do laundry and planned on catching up as soon as finals were over. I ended up in a pair cut off jean shorts and a Rice University hooded sweatshirt. I repacked my overnight back since the previous things in it had all gotten wet. I grabbed my acoustic guitar, threw on my boots because I couldn¡¯t drive in wet flip flops, and headed out the door once again.


    Once in the car, I plugged my ipod in and prepared myself for a long drive, I just wasn¡¯t exactly sure where yet. The one thing I did know was that I needed to get as far away from Houston as possible, and I didn¡¯t have any plans of returning. Ever.


    Chapter 31


    Eight Months Later


    It was the Friday before the fall semester was to begin and I was headed east on I-10 towards Houston. It had been exactly a year prior that Evie and I had made this exact journey, excited and eager to begin our new lives. We had both envisioned four years together to experience college and all of the life-changing moments that came with it. From there we had assumed we would get good jobs, find loving husbands, have beautiful little babies, and of course, live happily-ever-after. But Evie¡¯s death had changed everything.


    An old Red Hot Chili Peppers song came on the radio and I paused my trip down memory lane to turn it up and sing along. It was one of Evie¡¯s favorite songs, she always wanted me to play this song so she could sing it off-key and at an obnoxiously high volume. I smiled and felt the familiar tugging at my heart that I had come accustomed to when I thought about my best friend. It had taken me quite some time to get to the point of recalling old memories of Evie and not crying, and some days I still got a little teary-eyed when I thought about her, but for the most part, remembering our moments together filled me with love and gratitude.


    I began to feel jittery and nervous when I passed the sign indicating that Houston was only seventy-one miles in front of me. In knew that in less than two hours, I would be in my new dorm room with Tessa, my new roommate. We hadn¡¯t met in person before, but we had talked on the phone a few times and skyped once so that we would recognize each other. She seemed to be a sweet girl; she had come across as pretty quiet and very focused on her pre-med studies. Quiet and studious was exactly what I needed; the decision to get another roommate was a difficult one for me and I wasn¡¯t sure if I was ready to be all buddy-buddy with whomever it was. At first it had felt like I would be replacing Evie; I was so afraid of forgetting her if I moved on with my life. Eventually, with my therapist, I worked through these issues and realized that I would never forget Evie; that was impossible. The best way for me to honor her memory was to keep on living, doing things that she and I liked to do to together, listening to her favorite music, cooking her favorite foods.


    When I had driven out of town on that life-changing night last December, I really had no idea where I was going. I just drove and drove and drove. The sun came up and I continued to drive. The sun went down and I was still driving. Finally, after I couldn¡¯t keep my eyes open any longer, I pulled off at a motel on the highway. I had no idea where I was. I was completely lost in every facet of my life ~ physically, mentally, and emotionally.


    I checked into a room and fell asleep within thirty seconds of laying down. I didn¡¯t even bother taking my shoes off or getting under the covers. The next morning when I woke up, I realized that I needed to first figure out where the hell I was and then I needed to come up with some sort of plan. I wasn¡¯t going to live in Evie¡¯s car like a vagabond across Texas. I turned my phone on for the first time since I had left in hopes that the GPS on it would give me an indication of where I was. I wasn¡¯t prepared for the thirty voicemails and fifty something text messages that waited for me. When I had fled Ash¡¯s house, Meg had called Jess who had called Evie¡¯s parents who had called my parents. All of them had left messages trying to locate me and making sure that I was okay. Well, I had assumed that Ash¡¯s messages were similar to the others because I refused to listen to them and deleted them before I changed my mind.

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    On top of those worried about my mental state due to the death of my best friend and me walking in on Ash having sex, was Mason calling wondering why I had left without saying anything. I listened to his messages because I felt that I at least owed that to him. I deserved to hear the hurt and heartbreak in his voice because I had selfishly deceived him, knowing that it would cause him pain. In his first voicemail, he sounded confused and understanding, but by the fifth one, he was downright pissed. He told me that I was an immature bitch and to never contact him again, he didn¡¯t have the time to put up with my petty bull shit. I couldn¡¯t blame him for feeling betrayed and hating me. I hated me for what I did to him.


    Once I learned that I was right outside of Lubbock, I started calling everyone back to let them know that I was okay. My parents seemed bothered by the whole ordeal and told me to stop acting like a child and to return home immediately. Evie¡¯s parents were more concerned about my entire well-being, but I assured them that I had just had a minor freak out and would be returning home later that day. I texted Meg and Jess to let them know that I was okay, but that I needed some time to myself. I sent Mason a text that simply said ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± but I never got a response. I had nothing to say to Ash.Advertisement


    After much internal debate and soul searching over the next several weeks, I ended up taking a semester leave from Rice. The school was more than understanding about the situation with Evie and gave me up to one year to return without having to re-apply. I moved in with my grandparents and focused on getting myself psychologically well. I began to see a therapist on a weekly basis and joined a support group for young adults who had lost a close friend or significant other. In addition to grieving Evie¡¯s death, I also found that I needed to take control and responsibility for my own life. For way too long, I had used other people as a crutch to make my decisions. My parents had pushed that way of life upon me, but what I didn¡¯t realize was that when I moved out, I had just replaced them with Evie. It had taken months and months of treatment and rehabilitation, but finally my healing process had reached a place where I felt comfortable getting back to my life. It was important to me to return to Rice and get my degree. That had been a huge goal of Evie¡¯s and now I owed it to her, to both of us, to fulfill that dream of ours.


    So exactly one year later, I found myself pulling up in the same parking lot, preparing myself for my second chance at my life. I jumped out of my car, grabbed my suitcase, and hurried to my room. I had gotten a late start leaving my grandparents and it was already dark outside. I wanted to get unpacked quickly so that I could shower and change. I wanted to look my best for what I had planned to do that night. I had no idea of what kind of reception I could expect.


    It was after midnight when I finally pulled up to the familiar warehouse, the parking lot was packed which I had assumed it would be. Most students were getting back in town this week and everyone was looking to go out and party before school started up again. I had not texted nor talked to either Ash or Mason since I had left. I had changed my number within a week of the meltdown, so I wasn¡¯t sure if either of them had tried to contact me or not.


    Eight months. It had been eight months and I was nervous as hell to see either of them, much less both of them at the same time. However, I knew they were both there, I saw Ash¡¯s car when I pulled in and Mason¡¯s bike was parked up by the door. I knew there was a good chance that they were both probably there with someone else and I had vowed to myself to not make a scene. I wasn¡¯t looking to cause any problems. I had come to say my piece and when I was finished, I would accept whatever response or reaction they had. I had prepared myself for anything~ they could ignore me and not give me the time of day or they could go bat-shit crazy screaming at me about what a bitch I was. Whatever happened, I knew that I needed to do this.


    I had hoped for a large crowd, it was easier to hide myself in all of the people. I wanted to have a drink for a bit of liquid courage before going through with my plan. I found a seat at the bar furthest away from where Mason and his crew usually sat next a couple of other girls. I kept my eyes downward at the bar as I sipped my beer; I did not want to make eye contact with anyone in case it was someone I knew or who recognized me.


    There was a girl up on stage that I remembered from when I used to hang out there. She had a beautiful voice and was equally talented with the keyboard. I knew that she was usually slotted close to the end of the lineup on open mic Fridays so I wouldn¡¯t have to wait long. When she was finished, the announcer introduced the next musician as a guy at the back of the stage area began walking forward. If I had thought I was prepared to see Ash again, I was wrong. I sucked in a deep breath as a wave of emotions crashed over me. There he stood, in all of his glorious surf-bum wonder, dressed in his signature khaki cargos, button down guevara shirt, and flip flops. His hair still hung long and shaggy in his face and just looking at it made me want to push it back behind his ears.


    As always, Ash pulled a stool up on stage, he hated playing while standing up, and made himself comfortable. The girl sitting next to me leaned over to her friend and said not so quietly, ¡°Here we go again with butterfly boy.¡±


    Her friend gave her a questioning look, ¡°What are you talking about? Is he gay? All the hot ones are always gay.¡± She muttered the last sentence shaking her head.


    ¡°No, he¡¯s not gay, stupid ass. I call him butterfly boy because he always sings that damn butterfly song and has that tattoo on his arm.¡±


    My head shot up and my eyes scanned his arms. My stomach dropped to the floor when I saw the same tattoo that donned my left calf inked on his left forearm. How did he know? I never even got a chance to tell him that night about it. My mind started swirling and it took everything in me to remain seated at the bar and collect myself before reacting foolishly.


    I took slow and steady breaths until I felt my body relax a bit, and then I took a huge drink of my beer. I didn¡¯t need to get drunk by any means, but my nerves needed some drowning, quickly. Hearing his voice again was another huge test of my will, and it almost broke me. Almost.


    Ash walked off the back of the stage and I saw him glare over at whoever was taking the stage next. My eyes followed his heated stare and I found Mason returning the sentiment with a glower just as fierce. Ash stepped off the single step and moved directly into the arms of a busty blonde waiting for him. Some things never change. The girl next to me piped up again, ¡°Now this is what I¡¯m talking about. That¡¯s Rat,¡± she explained to her friend. ¡°His brother owns this place and he¡¯s like the rock god around here. He¡¯s the lead singer for Jobu¡¯s Rum, but he always sings solo on Fridays.¡±


    Both girls openly gawked at the figure on the stage and it reminded me of Mina telling me about Mason the first time I was there. ¡°He¡¯s¡­ wow,¡± the friend finally responded.


    ¡°I know, wait until you hear his voice. You¡¯re going to need a new pair of panties when you leave here,¡± the first girl said matter-of-factly.


    I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off of him. He hadn¡¯t changed a bit since that morning I had left him sleeping in his bed. He had on a black t-shirt with a pair of jeans and his black boots. My heart had stopped when I first saw Ash, but the sight of Mason had made it beat double-time. I wondered what he was going to sing as he adjusted the microphone. He always stood when he performed which reminded me of just another way he was so different from Ash. I held on to the bar to physically brace myself to hear his voice.


    ¡°Good morning Houston! Are y¡¯all having a good time?¡± he yelled and the entire bar went crazy. I thought the girls next to me were going to strip and rush him on the stage at any moment. ¡°The place is packed tonight and I know that most of you guys are getting ready to head back to school, so let¡¯s make this a night to remember. What do ya say?¡± Again frenzied screaming and clapping ensued. ¡°That¡¯s what I like to hear. Alright, tonight I¡¯m going to start off with Jobu¡¯s Rum latest single.¡± He looked over in the direction that I was sitting and I swore that he stared straight into my eyes for a brief moment. He turned his attention back towards a girl who had screamed ¡°I love you Rat!¡± and he laughed. ¡°I love all of y¡¯all too.¡±


    During his first song, I had to do more breathing exercises and continue to think about the last eight months. I could do this. I could do this. I had to give myself a pep talk several times during that three minute period. When he finished, everyone in the bar went wild. ¡°Thank you guys,¡± he interrupted the applause. ¡°Thank you. Okay this next one I¡¯ve never performed in public, it¡¯s a song that¡¯s a few years old. I actually ran across it again a couple of months ago and it couldn¡¯t have been at a more perfect time in my life. I was saving it for¡­¡± His voice trailed off for a moment and he looked towards Ash¡¯s table. ¡°Well, I guess it really doesn¡¯t matter what I was saving it for, that day will never come, my angel flew away. So tonight it¡¯s for all of you!¡±


    Where I felt that Ash¡¯s words were going to break me, Mason¡¯s healed me. His voice, and the love and longing in his words, filled every one of my remaining holes and made me feel complete. I suddenly felt more determined than ever to do what I had come to do. I slipped off of my barstool and headed around the perimeter of the warehouse. I wanted to remain unseen by Mason. He finished the song and allowed the crowd to reward him with cheers and whistles. He leaned his acoustic on an amp setting on the side of the stage and jumped down to head towards his friends.


    I took a deep breath and reminded myself of everything that I had discovered about love and respect and dignity over the last several months. Unrequited love was basically just infatuation, and that was exactly what I had with Ash for so long. Love was about sacrifice and putting the wants and needs of the other person in front of your own. Ash was never willing to do that for me. Other than the times that Ash and I had spent locked away from the real world, our relationship was tumultuous and filled with drama. He was always upsetting me by openly being with other girls in front of me or doing things to purposely keep me from being happy. It was like he kept me on a string and if he thought I was getting too far away from him, too close to someone else, he would reel me back in. I knew that Ash cared about me, but he didn¡¯t love me. He loved himself too much to love anyone else. Mason, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He went out of his way to make me happy and comfortable. He loved making me laugh and wasn¡¯t afraid to put himself out there for me. I never got upset with Mason, not once. And despite all that, I had allowed my infatuation and fascination with Ash, someone who could never give me what I deserved, to get in the way of that. It was time for me to apologize.


    I climbed onto the back of my stage and walked towards the front, grabbing Mason¡¯s acoustic on the way. ¡°Excuse me everyone,¡± my voice was shaky and unsure . A few people took notice of me as I waited to get the attention of the person I wanted it from the most. It only took a minute or so as the collective voice lowered and dropped to hushed whisper. Then I hear someone say ¡°Oh shit, Rat, it¡¯s Angel,¡± and instantly the place got silent.

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    I lifted the microphone back to my mouth, ¡°I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m late, I didn¡¯t make it in time to sign up tonight but I really need to perform a song that needed to be sang a long time ago. I¡¯ve wasted so much time, it just can¡¯t wait any longer.¡± Mason¡¯s face stayed stoic, not giving me an inch, but his gray eyes turned into a shimmery silver that shined back at me. He gave me a slight nod indicating I should go on. The eyes of everyone in the warehouse were jumping back and forth from Mason to me and then back to Mason.


    I began to strum his guitar and sing about apologies from a guy who had hurt me, a guy who would purposely make me too warm only to leave me out in the cold, a guy who didn¡¯t take the time to appreciate the beauty that he had until it was too late¡­ and all that was left for him to do was apologize because it had become clear that I had fallen in love with another man.Advertisement


    After I sang the words of the last verse, ¡°It¡¯s way too late for dignity, It¡®s time for apologies,¡± I assumed both Ash and Mason understood my intentions. However, I didn¡¯t want to leave something as important as this to assumptions.


    I looked directly in Mason¡¯s eyes and pleaded, ¡°Mason, I know what I did was wrong in so many ways, but I just want you to know that I am truly sorry.¡± I paused a brief moment to let my apology be heard. ¡°I had someone treat me similar to the way that I treated you, and if he was to apologize, I¡¯m not sure I would accept it because I know that I deserved better than that, and so did you. But I¡¯m also here to let you know that people can change, I know for a fact because I am a completely different person than I was a year ago. The tragic events and loss of life I had to endure to get to this point, I wouldn¡¯t wish on anyone, but I¡¯m thankful that I was able to make something positive out of it by gaining control of my life.¡± I took a deep breath before I finished what I had come to say. ¡°I used to be a girl who believed in fairy tales. You know, the whole knight in shining armor riding in on a white horse that would lead me to my happily-ever-after. About eight months ago I lost hope and faith that I would ever find my prince, or to be more exact, that my prince would ever realize I was the one for him as he tried out all of the other princesses. But what I discovered was that I was in the wrong damn fairy tale the whole time, chasing the wrong damn prince. There¡¯s a Psyche for every Eros, an Elizabeth for every Darcy, an Abby for every Travis,¡± I heard several females scream out ¡°I love Travis,¡± and I couldn¡¯t help but smile. That reference was for Evie¡¯s all-time favorite book boyfriend. ¡°And I only hope you still want me to be the Angel to your Rat.¡± I turned up my nose just slightly when I said his nickname. ¡°All along I was wearing the wrong wings.¡±


    Mason slowly made his way towards me and stepped up onto the stage. I didn¡¯t move. He looked down at me and seared me with his intense stare. ¡°Don¡¯t you ever fly away again, Angel. I swear I¡¯ll have your wings clipped.¡± Then he picked me up into his arms and crushed me against his body.


    ¡°I¡¯ve missed you so much, Angel. I love you.¡±


    ¡°I love you too, Rat boy. I love you, too.¡±


    Epilogue


    Ash


    Eight months. It had been eight goddamned months since I had seen her. It took everything inside me not to walk up on that stage and drag her off and claim her as mine once and for all. But I didn¡¯t. I could see the look of determination in her eyes and the last thing I wanted to do was piss her off. I had a lot of making up to do and acting like a psychotic caveman in front of all of those people most definitely wasn¡¯t the best way to start.


    I couldn¡¯t believe she was actually standing there. Finally. Scarlett had finally come back. I honestly wasn¡¯t sure if she ever would. I thought that maybe, just maybe, losing her best friend and me shattering her heart within a matter of a two day period would have been too much for her to ever return, but once again, she proved to be the incredible person I knew she was. My butterfly.


    She looked even more beautiful that I had remembered. I loved seeing my design permanently inked on her leg; I loved knowing that every day when she looked at it, she had to think of me, if only for a brief moment. I looked down at my forearm and smiled. My daily thoughts of her lasted way longer than brief moments. Scarlett MacGregor consumed me. Every hour of every day.


    Hearing her smooth, silky voice as she began to sing sent a warm tingly feeling throughout my entire body and my cock instinctively hardened. God, how I had missed hearing that sweet sound. As she sang about apologies and love and hurt, I thought back to the last time I saw her. If there was ever a day in my life I could do a redo, that would be the one.


    Death is a bitch, especially when someone who is way too young to die does. The day that Evie died, my world came crashing down around me. Not only was it painful and heartbreaking because Evie was my friend, but her death hurt the person I loved more than anything so badly and I didn¡¯t know what to do. I had never in my life felt so helpless, so useless. I had tried to be there for Scarlett, I had tried holding her, talking to her, and just being with her, but she had completely frozen up. Her usually cheerful, sparkling brown eyes were dull and empty and her spirit was broken. After the funeral, she had insisted on being by herself. I knew that wasn¡¯t a good idea, especially back at the dorm where she had so many memories with Evie, but she wouldn¡¯t have it any other way. So by the time Jess, Meg, and I had returned to our house, I was pissed beyond belief at everyone and everything. I immediately closed myself off in my room because I knew better than to be around anyone else. I would most likely be a dick and say something I didn¡¯t mean. I heard Jess say she was leaving for Jacob¡¯s a few minutes later and that was followed by the closing of Meg¡¯s bedroom door.


    I ended up falling asleep; I was physically and mentally exhausted and drained. I wasn¡¯t sure how long it had been but I was woken up by a knock on the front door. At first I thought it might be Scarlett that she had changed her mind about going back to her place, but when I opened the door I was disappointed to see some girl that I had been stupid enough to bring home with me a week or so before. I usually didn¡¯t like these girls to know where I lived to avoid such situations. The girl, I can¡¯t even remember her name, immediately latched on to me and started kissing my neck and telling me how much she had missed me and needed me. I tried pushing her off and telling her to go away, but damn if she wasn¡¯t persistent. I just didn¡¯t have the will in me to tell her no a third time as her kissing continued and her hand stroked me outside my jeans. In what ended up being the worst decision of my life, I yanked her by the arm back to my room and tried to fuck my anger out.


    The look on Scarlett¡¯s face when she opened my bedroom door that night would be forever etched into my brain. It is what haunted me every night and pushed me to keep living every day since then. I didn¡¯t know what to do or what to say to her standing there, the scene spoke for itself. I was the asshole of all assholes, the scum of all scum, whatever else you could think of to describe the worst human on the planet. I deserved every single thing she said to me and more. It was at that moment, however, that I knew for sure that she was indeed my soulmate, that I needed her in my life forever. I had never known that I could feel pain and agony so intense until I saw the horrific look of abandonment and disgust in her eyes. I tried to stop her but that was impossible. She flew out of my house and out of my life as I sat naked on my bed with some meaningless fuck huddled on the floor next to my bed. And that was the moment that everything changed.


    I knew that I needed to get my life together so that if I ever had the chance again to get her back in my life, I could be the man she deserved. The very next day I went to the tattoo parlor and had my butterfly put on my forearm. The new addition to her calf had not gone unnoticed during her short-lived visit and despite everything else, it had thrilled me to know that she had gotten my design permanently inked onto her body. From the tattoo parlor, I went directly to the jewelry store. I wanted to be completely prepared to show her the degree of my love and dedication if I ever got another chance. I looked at the ring every night before going to bed and prayed to any and every God out there to bring her back.


    After her song, she said her speech about how she didn¡¯t think she could accept my apology after everything I had done, but was asking Rat for forgiveness for whatever she did to him. If she slept with him, I was going to kill him with my bare hands. I knew she was purposely digging the knife in when she compared hers and his relationship to that of Psyche and Eros, but I also knew that I deserved every ounce of pain she inflicted on me. It made me sick to my stomach to watch their reuniting embrace as they professed their love for each other, but I sat back biding my time. Rat looked up and stared directly into my eyes as he held her body up against his, claiming his victory. The look I gave him in return was full of warning and promise. I hoped he was ready for a fight because if there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that Scarlett MacGregor belonged with me. I knew it. He knew it. And she knew it. I just needed to remind her. She was forever my Psyche, my butterfly.