《Scandalous 2 (Scandalous #2)》


 Page 1

    JACK


    Jack runs his hands through his hair and sits down hard on the bed. The little cottage in the Caribbean has let him put his life on pause, but the guilt hasn''t stopped. It doesn''t matter what Abby says, Jack can''t help but feel like he ruined her. Abby always had a clear vision of who she was and what she wanted to be, and now that''s gone. The future that she''d so carefully planned out crumbled in her hands, and it was his fault. Jack can see it in her eyes at night, when they sit with their feet in the surf. That vacant gaze is all too familiar. Jack remembers having it for so long that the worry lines are etched into his skin. She''s drifting, lost, and there''s nothing he can do about it. He made her fall.Advertisement


    Jack''s phone buzzes on the nightstand. His brow pinches as he lifts it to his ear. Glancing back at the bathroom, Jack makes sure the shower is still running so Abby can''t hear. As if things weren''t difficult already, now there''s this.


    "Gus, what''d you find out?"


    "Some of it appears the same as always, but there''s something else going on. This is going to fuck up your tour, Jack. They''re targeting you this time, not just the art." Gus sounds tense, like the last thing he wanted to do was call Jack and deliver this message.


    Jack works his jaw, thinking. "Just keep looking. It isn''t the same this time."


    "How do you know? It could just be the normal crap that pops up before a show." So many things had happened in the past. Gus''s explanation was possible, but Jack knew there was more at play. He could feel it looming, threatening to crush them. Everything was different this time, because one factor had changed. Abby.


    "It''s not the regular shit. Gut feeling, Gus. Track it down. If it''s an anti-art movement, I''ll feel better, but I have this horrible feeling that it''s more than that." Jack glances up at the bathroom door. The shower turns off. The sound of running water stops. "Take care of it," Jack says softly and ends the call.


    There are so many things that Abby doesn''t know, so many things weighing on him that he wants to tell her. Whenever a new exhibit opens, there are protesters. That isn''t what''s bothering him this time. They can picket all they want, it isn''t going to change the fact that his models are nudes. But maybe that isn''t the worst of it. Maybe the whole thing is in his head, and he can''t deal with the fact that he changed Abby hard and fast. He keeps waiting for her to realize her mistake. There''s a thought in the back of his mind that springs up when he''s alone: People who change that quickly don''t really change at all. And that''s what scares him most.

 Page 2

    ABBY


    I towel off after my shower. Jack smiles at me, but it doesn''t reach his eyes. Something''s bothering him, but he doesn''t say much about it. When we return home, he has the biggest show of his life. Jack''s a private person, and being in the press makes him tense. I assume that''s where his worry is coming from. I glance over at him. Jack is lying back on the bed, hands behind his head, waiting for me to finish getting ready to go out. It''s the last night of our honeymoon. I don''t want it to end. I want to protect Jack from retreating into himself. I want to shelter him from the critics and the crazies that come out and slam his work. It takes more than thick skin. I wonder if he withdraws for self-preservation. Either way, I wish he didn''t have to go through it. The only solace I have is knowing that it will be short lived, that Jack won''t have this weight on his shoulders much longer.Advertisement


    Sitting in front of the mirror on a little padded bench, I attempt to pin up my hair. With the humidity, it''s fighting back. Jack slips off the bed and starts to dress since I''m nearly ready. It''s not fair. I can spend an hour getting ready and he looks hot when he throws a shirt over his head. There''s a light dusting of stubble on his jaw and his hair is messy, the way I like it. Every few minutes, my eyes stray to him and I forget what I''m doing. I sit there with my hands above my head, staring at him in the mirror.


    Jack notices. He grins wickedly, and slowly starts to walk toward me with his shirtfront open, revealing that beautiful toned body of his. Not only is he chiseled, but now he''s sun kissed, too. He looks like a bronzed god. I blink and smile at him in the mirror, but Jack keeps walking toward me. That look is in his eye, the one that says I have his full attention and he plans to be very attentive.


    Jack reaches for my shoulders and places his hands on them so lightly that I shiver. "I saw that look," he says, his eyes flicking up to the glass.


    My heart pounds harder. Every time he touches me, it feels like I''m lost inside a dream. I never thought I''d be married. I never thought Jack Gray would be my husband. The whole thing is surreal. There''s something melancholy about it, like I''ve ended one life and started another. I haven''t spoken of it much to Jack. Every time I bring it up, he acts like he broke me, and I don''t want him to think that. It''s just new to me. It takes a lot of getting used to.


    I smile and feel my cheeks heat. I have no idea how I''m still blushing around Jack, but I am. "What look?" I ask coyly.


    His voice is like velvet and slips over me in a breath. "That look that says tonight''s plans are going to be altered." Jack leans in toward my neck, slowly. I feel his warm breath as he barely presses the kiss to my skin. I close my eyes and savor it. Maybe I''m mental, but I keep thinking this is going to end as abruptly as it started. I push the thought back and melt into his arms. I can be crazy later.


    I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of his strong arms around me. When I open them again, Jack''s lips are trailing across my neck. I turn and twist toward him, forgetting about my hair. I slip my hands under his linen shirt and feel the smooth skin beneath. My fingers trace the contours of his body in a slow, fluid movement that drives Jack crazy. Each muscle is so tight, so well defined. The pad of my finger moves slowly, feeling him, watching his body react to my touch. Lifting me, Jack takes me from the bench and takes two steps toward the bed, before there''s a knock at the door.


    That lusty look in Jack''s eyes fades, as he says, "Damn. I forgot about that."


    He sets me down. I smooth my black dress, asking, "Forgot about what?"


    Jack walks to the door and opens it. A man is standing there with so many roses that I can''t see his face.


    "Oh, Jack! They''re beautiful," I say as the enormous bouquet is brought into the room.


    The man carrying them says apologetically, "I thought you''d be at dinner. I''m sorry Mr. Gray, I''ll - "


    Jack smiles at him. "Don''t worry about it. We were, uh, taking our time getting there." His gaze locks with mine and I feel hot.


    When the man leaves, I walk over and stick my face into the bouquet and inhale. "These smell so good."


    Jack laughs and pulls me back, "Easy there, Abby. I wouldn''t want you to fall in. Then I''d have to rescue you, peel this dress off, and have my way with you. Again." He trails his finger up and down my bare arm as he says it, looking up from under his dark lashes.


    It sends a jolt of desire through me and I cave. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I press my body tightly against his. "All right, we can stay in. Eating is overrated anyway." Before I have a chance to give him another kiss, Jack''s cell phone rings.


    We both startle. No one has the number but me and Gus. Jack peels me off, gives me an apologetic look, and answers. We left Gus to tend to the studio. No one was supposed to call. I try not to stare at Jack, so I go finish my hair the best I can.


    When he hangs up, I ask, "Is everything all right?"


    "Yeah," Jack replies as he puts his phone away. "Gus couldn''t find something that Kate needed for the tour. Nothing big." Jack''s blue eyes lift and meet mine. He''s not telling me something. I can feel it. I take his hand and he smiles at me. The hollowness in his eyes fills and I can feel him shutting me out. There''s something going on that he doesn''t want me to know about. I don''t press; It''s our last night here.


    With a playful look on his face, Jack says, "I have things planned for this evening. We''d better get going." He extends his arm around the back of my shoulders and I lean in close to him. Disappointment flashes in my eyes, but it''s not for the reason he thinks. Jack smiles and says, "Don''t worry, preacher-girl. I promise that you''ll like it."

 Page 3

    Chapter 3


    JACKAdvertisement


    Abby looks at him with those green eyes of hers and it''s all he can do to keep his mouth shut. There''s no point in worrying her when he doesn''t even know what''s going on. So far this resembles the normal start to a show, but deep within him, Jack knows something else is happening. It''s nothing more than a feeling, but it makes him want to protect Abby from the brunt of it. If he can figure things out quickly, he can tell her it''s nothing to worry about. Jack has gone through this before, alone. There are always people who protest his work, but this time it''s different. The typical hate mail that Gus is always receiving now has a personal twist on it. Instead of aiming at his art, the protesters are aiming at his heart. It''s been hard enough when they''ve accuse him of horrible things and pointed at his paintings like they''re proof. But everything has shifted this time. The fingers are pointing at him, and the art is secondary-a reason to show up and crucify Jack. After everything that''s happened, Jack doesn''t know how well Abby will take it. When the scandal hit a few months back, it nearly tore them apart.


    Jack runs his fingers through his hair. Maybe I''m overreacting. Maybe it''s the same old crap in different packaging. Even as he thinks it, Jack knows it''s not true. There''s more to it than that. He just doesn''t know what.


    Abby leans into him, breathing in his scent. Jack lets his worries scatter. Tonight is about her. He reaches for the door and the two walk along the beach under the moonlight. The wind lifts Abby''s hair, blowing it in his face.


    She pulls it back. "Sorry. It''s been uncontrollable this week." Uncertainty flashes across her face, like she has no idea how stunning she is.


    Grabbing her shoulder before she can pull away, Jack says, "It''s been perfect. I like it when it''s all soft and wavy like this. It reminds me of what it''s like in bed, after I''ve run my fingers through it." By the time Jack finishes speaking, his voice has dropped to a whisper. One of the things that surprised him was how much Abby likes it when he leans in close to her ear and whispers stuff like that. The response is instant. She glows, and a shy smile creeps across those ruby red lips. Jack pulls her to a stop and looks down at his wife. His eyes fixate on her mouth, on the perfect curve of her upper lip, the way it forms a beautiful bow, but it''s the lower lip that makes his mouth water and fills him with need. It curves so perfectly that it fills his mind with all the times he''s nipped it and sucked it into his mouth. A flash of heat washes over Jack as the memories rush through his mind. Too many of them are of bare skin for him not to be aroused.


    Leaning in slowly, he presses his mouth to hers. The kiss is gentle. The roar of his pulse drowns out every other sound except Abby''s sweet little sigh. Jack''s lashes lower. He presses his forehead to hers, wanting her.


    "We can go back to the room," she offers.


    Jack''s gaze slips sideways to the beach. He thinks about her slick body writhing beneath his as the waves crash over them. It''s a fantasy he''s had about Abby since high school. Some things never change, but he can''t ask her for that. Not yet. Abby is so shy about things. She still doesn''t understand what she does to him, not fully. It''s like being offered air and then having it taken away. When Jack''s not with her, there''s a pressure on his chest, like he can''t breathe. Jack''s never felt that before. Not ever. He doesn''t know what it is and had assumed it would fade after the wedding, but it hasn''t. If anything, it''s gotten worse. Abby is his air, his life. She always has been, he just feels it so much more intensely now, like a wire that runs through his soul, binding him to her.


    Jack touches the sides of Abby''s face, feeling the softness of her cheek and letting his fingers linger along the curve of her neck. Jack can feel her body responding to his touch in the way she tilts her head back and parts her lips. It reminds him of the things they did last night, of Abby''s ecstasy and the way she threw her arms around his neck and held on tight. It reminds him of paint and pleasure, of passion so hot and bright that he can barely restrain it.


    The moonlight reflects on her hair, forming a golden crown. Jack drinks her in, wanting to remember this moment. There''s no one like Abby, there never will be, and for this moment in time - everything is perfect.


    Jack has to force his voice out. She''s stolen it again with that bewitching glance of hers. It''s as careless as a flick of the wrist, but it sizzles under his skin every time Abby looks at him that way. "We could, but then we wouldn''t get to do the things I planned for our last night here."


    "Ah, so that''s what all the secrecy has been about?" Abby says, smiling up at him. She points a finger and places it on his chest, just above his shirt. Something in her eyes relaxes. It makes the guilt festering in his stomach creep up his throat. She senses that something''s wrong. Damn, am I so easy to read?


    Jack smiles at her, running his fingers through her bright hair. "Maybe," he answers, playfully. A grin spreads across his face as he thinks about the things he has arranged for this evening. Jack has no idea how the night will go, if Abby will offer herself to him the way he hopes. Even if she can''t, he''s glad he did it. The look on her face alone when she sees what he''s done will be worth it.


    Abby looks up at him from beneath her lashes. She pushes her fingers into his chest, giving him a playful shove. "Oh, you''re horrible. I had no idea you''d done anything. I didn''t get anything for you. I thought - "


    Before her voice squeaks any higher, Jack cuts her off, saying, "It''s for both of us." Reaching for her hands, Jack pulls Abby to his chest and wraps his arms around her waist. Looking down into her eyes, he can see his past and his future colliding. It makes his stomach twist, but Jack shoves aside the thought. Abby is his now. Live in the now, Jack. Don''t think about tomorrow.


    Chapter 4


    ABBY


    Jack looks down at me like he thinks he''ll never see me again. I touch his cheek, gently stroking my fingers along his jaw, "What''s wrong?"


    He blinks hard and what I thought I saw is gone. "Nothing. I''m just overwhelmed by you sometimes. It''s hard to look back and even remember my life as it was a few months ago to compare it to the way things are now. I never thought I''d marry. I never thought I''d see you again, but here you are - my beautiful wife in my arms." Jack kisses my temple and turns me toward the restaurant.


    We walk in silence. There''s a lump in my throat that won''t go away. Jack''s been like this all week. One moment he''s fine - all sexy smiles and wit - and the next that haunted look is back. I wonder if I''m the cause. I have to be, right? There''s a sad smile on my face as we walk, but Jack can''t see it. His strides match mine. We walk together with his arm around my shoulder. His scent fills my head along with the night breeze. I want to make him forget whatever it is that''s pulling at him. I want his last night alone with me to be so wonderful that it blindsides everything else, chasing all other thoughts away until tomorrow.


    Thinking of tomorrow nearly puts me into a panic. Tomorrow I face my past. Tomorrow I return to Texas, to my previous life, and pick my belongings from the ashes. Tomorrow makes me feel sick. Jack seems to sense it.


    He pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. "I love you, Abigail."


    The choking sensation flees. Jack has the ability to chase away my nightmares, even the real ones. I smile up at him. "I love you, too."


    Jack pulls open the door to the main building and we walk inside. Soft music plays and other couples walk by us hand in hand. We walk to the finest restaurant in the pavilion. Jack tells me to wait a moment while he speaks to the host. I glance around. It doesn''t matter how many times we''ve been in here, it''s still amazing. The walls are dark and covered in pale blue cracked shells and sea glass. It gives the room an ethereal feel, like we''re under the ocean. It''s serene and perfect.


    Jack returns and extends his arm to me. I take it as he leads us past the area where we usually sit on the veranda overlooking the water. The waiter leads us to the and through a short hallway to a private room that''s reserved for parties. It''s cut off from the rest of the diners. Jack holds my hand and leads me to the door. When the waiter opens it, I don''t know what I expected, but it wasn''t this.


    I abruptly stop. My jaw drops open and my hand presses gently to my heart. "Jack," I breathe, as my eyes take it in.


    This room has the same decor as the front. Sea glass in all shades of green and blue make the walls ripple like waves. That''s where the commonality stops. There is a beautifully decorated table in the center of the room with delicate linens and two golden chairs. The centerpiece glows in the middle of the table, floating in a glass bowl, and casting pale golden light. Strips of silk are strung across the ceiling, forming long drapes that surround the table. They''re tied back, making it look like a little gazebo of silk. White rose petals cover the floor. The scent fills the air.


    I stare at the room, trying to take it all in. It''s beautiful and sensual and stunning. It''s the kind of room that you might see in a magazine, but never get a chance to sit in. It''s perfect.


    I feel Jack''s arms slip around my waist as he asks, "Do you like it?"


    I nod, speechless. The entire room seems to shimmer. I nod slowly, saying, "It''s like a dream."


    Jack steps around me and reaches for my hand. Taking it, he says, "Come on. The honeymoon isn''t over yet." Jack kicks off his shoes after he steps inside the room. I do the same. We walk across the rose petals to the table. They feel soft and cool under my feet.


    Jack pulls out my chair and waits for me to sit, before pushing the chair in. He leans down and kisses my cheek, before sitting down opposite me.


    I watch Jack and can''t think about anything but his lips. Jack grins at me, like he knows. My toes play with the petals beneath the table as we talk. "This is so stunning. When did you plan all this?"


    Jack''s eyes fall to the table, and then he glances around the room. "I planned it in my free time." He winks at me with a wicked grin on his face.


    "You haven''t had any free time," I say, smiling at him. "It''s been all Jack and Abby, all the time."


    He shrugs. "I have my secrets."


    "Oh, do you?" He nods, like he has many. "Ah, then, I plan to wiggle them out of you, one by one, Jack Gray." I have a playful look on my face, but Jack construes it differently.


    The side of his foot brushes against my bare ankle. With a wolfish smile on his face he says, "I look forward to it. Anything that involves you wiggling sounds good to me."


    I laugh and bump my foot against his under the table. I think about how great tonight is, about how wonderful Jack is, and how much tomorrow will suck. The thought pulls the smile from my face before I can stop it.


    "What is it?" Jack asks me.


    He''s been asking me all week, but I haven''t wanted to talk about it. It just makes me sad. I feel like I''m grieving someone''s death when I think about my old life, but that doesn''t make any sense. I''m not dead. I found what I wanted, and he''s sitting right in front of me. But it doesn''t matter. The feeling keeps coming back. It clings to me like a wet blanket, chilling me when I least expect it. Like now.


    My lips part as I search for the words. Jack''s eyes are soft. They hold mine, waiting to hear what I''ve been too upset to tell him. "I keep thinking about tomorrow. This is the second time that I''ve dreaded going home."


    "I know it''s hard for you, but the last time turned out pretty good. Maybe it won''t be as bad as you think." Jack reaches for my hand and gently rubs his thumb along mine.


    I grin at him, knowing the memory that''s playing through his mind. The day I showed up in his studio, everything changed. Fate brought us back together. I should let go of the things that hurt me, but I can''t. Those things are part of me somehow, in a way that I don''t really understand. "I hope you''re right. And you''ll be there, which will be different."


    Jack smiles at me. Leaning forward, he holds my hand tightly. "I will always be there for you. I''ll be there tomorrow and the day after." He smiles oddly, like he just realized something.


    For the life of me, I have no idea what it could be so I ask, "What?"


    "I never thought about it before, but that was part of my vow to you - to love you, to protect you, to cherish you, for as long as I live." He smiles so warmly that it makes my eyes fill with tears. "Sometimes people just go through the motions. I''m not like that and I know that you aren''t like that either. I''m here for you, Abby - however you need me, in every way you want me."


    I take my napkin from the table and dab at my eyes. "Jack," I breathe his name like it''s life itself. His words pull every heartstring I have. He had taken every fear that bounces around in this tiny brain of mine, wrapped his arms around them, and squeezed them away. I''m smiling at him and dabbing at my eyes. Jack''s blue gaze is filled with affection.


    Before we have a chance to say anything more, the waiter appears with the first course. It''s brought on tiny plates edged in silver. I nearly laugh when I realize what''s on the first dish. It''s a little white triangle dusted with powdered sugar.


    "PB and J?" I ask, arching an eyebrow at him, wondering what he''s done. A smile inches across my face.


    "Tonight is a cornucopia of Abby Gray''s favorite foods." He looks at the tiny triangles on his plate. "I told them to make it look cute. How''d they do?"


    I laugh, picking up the little sandwich, "Good. Very impressive, Mr. Gray. It''s very thoughtful and cute." I glance at him for a moment, holding his gaze, wondering if he remembers. "Is this because of what happened that day in the cafeteria?"


    Jack''s eyes gleam. "I don''t know what you mean." He smiles at me and I know he remembers.


    "How do you remember that?" We were seventeen. Jack rushed up behind me on the lunch line. He was chattering about some girl that had turned his head, and he grabbed the last sandwich. I said nothing and took the slop they were serving as hot lunch instead. I nodded and smiled as he bounced on the balls of his feet. When we sat down at the table, he asked me to grab him a fork. I didn''t understand, until I came back to the table. He''d switched our trays. He had the slop and the perfect little sandwich was in front of my seat. He always did things like that back then, but that one stuck in my mind. That infectious smile of his and his laughter from that day still echoes in my ears.


    "I was madly in love with you. How could I forget?" He gives me a crooked grin and my heart soars.


    "But you were talking about some girl that you wanted to nail. You never even came up for air."


    He shrugs. "I was stupid. By the way, the girl I was talking about that day was you." He laughs as my eyes widen. "I made up girls here and there to see what you''d do, trying to get a reaction." He eats his little sandwich, smiling at me.


    "You were talking about a girl that you wanted to sleep with..." I''m trying to remember the words he had been saying all those years ago. At the time, I wanted to rip her eyes out, and so I was only half listening. Jack watches me, slowly piecing the memory together. I stare at him with my lips pressed together. When they finally open, my jaw just flaps - words won''t come.


    Jack laughs. It''s a deep rich sound. "That girl was you. Beautiful breasts, dazzling eyes, razor sharp wit with lips that scream to be kissed. I rambled on about you for the entire period. Damn, I was tactless." The vibrancy in his blue eyes seems to fade. Seriously, he asks, "I wasted so much time trying to tell you without saying how I felt. I can''t tell you how many times I wished that I''d kissed you that night, how much I regretted my actions." There''s a hollowness in his words. It''s something that can never happen. We lost ten years. We''ll never get them back. His life changed during that time and so did mine. Damage was done that can''t be changed.


    I take his hands and say, "We found each other again. That''s all that matters. Most people don''t get a second chance, Jack. We got lucky." Jack''s head lowers as he looks at my hand. My throat tightens. I want to wrap my arms around him and never let go. Something''s going through his head. I see the remorse in his eyes. This is just the tip, the edge of whatever''s haunting him. He glances up and gives me a weak smile.


    Just then the second round of food comes out. This course is as cute as the first. "What is this?" It looks like chocolate squares. There are three in a little white dish with a raspberry.


    "A fudgesicle." I snort a laugh and nearly knock the bowl on the floor. Jack watches me and grins. "Are you insane?"


    He winks at me. "Maybe." The grin that lights up his face reaches his eyes. He''s remembering that night. We were at one of the dances-I don''t remember which one. My date turned out to be an ass. He had happy hands, so I told him off and sat on the bleachers by myself. Jack had happy hands with Carlie Throning, but she didn''t seem to mind when his hands dipped down her back. Eventually, Jack came over. He handed me a fudge pop and said something stupid. I can still hear his voice. You''re too prude, Abby. Who cares if a guy grabs your ass? You have to give it up sometime and stop being such a bitch. I took the frozen pop, shoved it down his shirt, and stormed away. We didn''t speak for two weeks.


    He clears his throat and looks at the bowl. "Maybe it''s an apology. You had a better grasp on sex at that age. I really didn''t get it. And I really wanted you." He laughs as he says the last part. "You have to admit that I did a pretty good job of not grabbing your ass right then."


    I laugh loudly, and slap my hands over my mouth, glancing around. I point a finger at him, like he''s in trouble for an ancient thought. "I would have killed you."


    "It would have been worth it."


    Smiling, I shake my head. "So what did your date think when you came back covered in chocolate?"


    Jack''s eyes shift to the side, like he doesn''t want to tell me. "Well..."


    "Oh, now you have to say it. What''d she do?"


    "I told her that I did some things with a fudgesicle that earned me the respect of the football team that year and added something along the lines of I''m not a one woman kind of guy." Embarrassment floods his face.


    "You told your date that you had sex with a girl using a popsicle?" He nods once, his face beet red, his eyes only meeting mine when he has to. "What did she do?"


    "Abby," he says, "maybe this wasn''t a good course."


    "Oh, my God. You had sex with her using a popsicle! Tell me you didn''t." I blink at him with an incredulous smile on my face.


    He shrugs and doesn''t meet my gaze. "I was fucked up. I told you that I had a past, that I did things. I didn''t mean for the conversation to go this way."


    "Jack Gray, you have a very twisted mind." I can''t stop smiling at him. I want to rip that girl''s head off, but Jack is mine now. I wonder why I haven''t seen any trace of his fetishes. I lick my lips, wondering what that feels like, and I shiver. Jack has a surprised look on his face. "I like it." I wink at him and the tension flows from his shoulders.


    "I thought you''d be mad," he says, glancing up at me.


    "We both had lives before this. I can''t yell at you about stuff that happened a decade ago. However, I can ask what other weird sexual things you''ve done." Jack grins and looks away. Oh my God. He''s holding back. I knew it. "I will find out one day. You can tell me anything, Jack."


    He taps his head, smiling, and lifts his wine glass. "There are some things in here that you don''t want to know."


    "I think it''s more like there are some things in there that are so messed up that you don''t want to share." He glances up at me. Heat flashes in Jack''s eyes. Bingo.


    Jack picks up a frozen square and pops it in his mouth. When he notices me staring at him, he says, "Eat your dinner, Abby." That crooked grin is there, and I know this evening is just getting started.

 Page 4

    Chapter 5


    JACKAdvertisement


    Abby has that look on her face, the one that unnerves Jack to his core. It''s like she can read his mind, every thought, every emotion. Jack damns this course. He meant it to be sweet, to be a way of saying I remember everything between us, but the old Jack didn''t realize how deep his feelings for Abby went. He was reckless and stupid. The memory of that night flared to life in his mind in vivid detail - the rage in Abby''s eyes as her gaze burned a hole in his face, the way she grabbed his collar and stuffed the cold ice pop down his shirt, the way she turned and ran before he could see her cry. Jack''s heart falls into the pit of his stomach with the memory.


    What Abby didn''t know was that he had chased after her. Jack left his date alone for so long that he was certain she''d be gone when he went back. He didn''t want to continue the night, he just didn''t want to go home yet. Jack didn''t understand Abby''s idealized version of sex. To Jack, it was a game. Sex was fun, a way to relieve the tension that lined his body. Some days, he felt like he couldn''t handle himself. He wanted to punch in lockers and fight with any guy who looked at him wrong. When he was around Abby and she was on her chastity kick, it just made him nuts. If she had said something even once that made him think that she wanted him, Jack wouldn''t have been able to control himself. That''s why he''d said those things that night. Jack had watched Abby dancing with that guy. The way he had been looking at Abby was the same way Jack did. Jack knew that look. Jack responded by pulling Carlie closer to him and lowering his hands onto her butt. Just when he did it, Abby looked over at him. Her shy eyes darted away. More than anything, Jack wanted to be holding Abby, but things didn''t work out that way. It would be years before it worked out that way. Instead, Jack had continued to eat his foot as Abby continued to be pure.


    He lost his mind that night and said things he shouldn''t have said. Then, when Jack got back to the dance, he was such a mess and Carlie was there asking about his shirt and where he was - when she offered to do it with him, Jack followed her in a daze and did what she wanted. But he never felt whole. It was just to pass the time.


    The look on Abby''s face now alarms him. Jack didn''t want to get into his past.


    When she speaks, he nearly dies. "So, the popsicle...did that work?"


    Jack couldn''t help it. He grins at her. "Did it work? No, it was ice." If he didn''t know better, Jack would have thought Abby looked disappointed. "What''s going on in that mind of yours?"


    Abby shrugs and pops another bite into her mouth. "It is cold," she says, moving the piece of frozen fudge between her lips. She holds it there for a moment, looking at him, before swallowing it. "I''ve heard that cold can feel good."


    "Where''d you hear that?" Jack is grinning at her. He can''t believe she isn''t mad. Jack plays with an imaginary spot on the table and glances up at her with hope filling his chest. Maybe she won''t say no later. Maybe...


    "Around," she says coyly, glancing up at him. Jack''s eyes move to meet her gaze, but get stuck on her body. Her breasts are beautiful and full. That dress pushes them up toward him, making him forget what he was going to say. Abby leans back and the plate is removed from in front of her.


    "You amaze me."


    "Because I think food is sexy?" she asks, smiling. Abby leans forward and weaves her fingers together before resting her chin on top. She winks at him. That wink is a direct line to his pants. Jack thought he knew what he was doing, but resisting her now is just as hard as it was in high school. He would give anything to have her at this moment. All he can think of is holding her in his arms and feeling her breath against his chest. There''s something about her that calls to him. He wanted to deny it, to offer her the chance to live the life she''d chosen, but Jack was weak. He couldn''t let her walk out of his life again.


    He laughs. "Yes, that is the sole reason for my statement. Your sexual fascination with food is alluring. I have to have you. Now." Jack means what he says, but makes it sound like he''s only playing. Any sexual fascination that Abby has fascinates him. Jack knows that he''ll do anything she wants, but Abby isn''t there yet. This is still new to her and Jack doesn''t want to rush her.


    Abby picks up a carrot stick from the center of the table and licks it before putting it between her lips. She pulls it out slowly. "I heard carrots are fun too."


    "Who have you been talking to?" Jack''s pulse is pounding. The pressure in his pants is becoming too demanding to ignore. Jack presses his eyes closed, trying to force the bulge in his pants back down.


    She laughs. "Kate. Who else would I hear this stuff from?" She dips the carrot and slips it in her mouth again. When she pulls it out slowly, Jack feels himself harden again.


    "Did she tell you what happens when you tease your lover in a public place?" Jack teases. It''s something he wants, that he hopes she''ll accept about him. Everything about this place is perfect. Just looking at Abby makes him hard. When she plays like this, Jack nearly loses his mind.


    Abby giggles. "You wouldn''t." She puts the carrot down and leans forward. Her chest presses hard against the neckline of her dress, making his eyes drift below her face.


    "Try me, Mrs. Gray. I would love to do unspeakable things to you in here."


    Abby''s face reddens and she looks away. Jack''s heart falls a little bit. She needs more time. It''s not fair to ask this of her so soon.


    Chapter 6


    ABBY


    When Jack says that he would take me here and now, my face flames. I look away, unable to match the intensity of his gaze. My stomach twists as I imagine myself, naked on the table with Jack thrusting into me. Am I that kind of a woman? I don''t know.


    I look up at Jack and decide not to tempt him again. I was just playing with the carrot, not realizing the effect it would have on him. I wonder if it''s really that erotic, if he''s hard watching me. The thoughts make me wish we were in our room where I could slip my hand over him and find out. I smile faintly at him, like I''m a good girl, like I''m not a lusty lunatic thinking about reaching under the table and groping him.


    As the courses continue, they contain both food that I liked in high school and some things that Jack''s noticed I enjoy now. Each one has a story, a memory that makes me smile. He replays our relationship in this dinner, course by course, until the end. When dessert is served, it''s little cups of colored pudding served with a chocolate paintbrush. I nearly die. I smile widely at him as the waiter sets the plates in front of us. I can barely stay on my side of the table. I want to get up and wrap my arms around him. We eat the sweet treat in silence. I have such an enormous pressure on my chest that words won''t come. When I pull the little chocolate brush from the cup, I lick it in long slow strokes before sucking all the pudding off the tip.


    Jack watches me do it, his eyes darkening. I remember his warning and part of me wants to know if he''s serious. I''m smiling softly as I nibble at it, my eyes locked with his. Jack puts his spoon down and leans back in his chair. He watches me for a moment. I close my eyes and pass the little brush over my lips, inhaling deeply. My chest expands as it fills with air. The action turns me on. I''m thinking of him as I do it. When I glance at him again, it''s through heavily lidded eyes.


    Placing the little piece of chocolate down, I stand and walk around the table to Jack. The waiter appears and takes our plates, then is gone again. Jack''s eyes watch me in that carnal way that makes my heart flutter. I mean to walk behind him and kiss his cheek, but Jack stops me. His hand juts out and reaches for my wrist. He pulls me toward him. I slip onto his lap and my question from earlier is answered. I can feel Jack''s hard length beneath me. It makes my breath shudder.


    Jack''s dark eyes are all over my face and chest. They flick to my eyes and lips, down to my chest and back. He slips his hands around my waist and says, "That''s better. We should have eaten dinner like this." Jack grins and holds me tighter, pressing the side of his face to my breasts.


    I tuck my hair behind my ear and cross my ankles. There are things I want to tell him, and the words that have been building inside of me start to spill out. "I love how well you know me. I love that you thought of this, that you did it for me. I love everything about you, Jack." I smile at him and press my lips to his. It''s supposed to be a chaste kiss, something light, but it''s not.


    Jack''s hands find my face and the kiss becomes hot and heavy. His tongue licks the seam of my lips and I can''t deny him. I open my mouth and feel his tongue caressing me. Jack tastes like caramel and cream-sweet, like our dessert. The kiss deepens and I''m no longer aware of anything but Jack. Breathing hard, he breaks the kiss.


    Jack''s eyes search mine, asking me, telling me that he wants me. My heart pounds harder. I glance around, looking for the waiter, but he''s gone. Jack takes my chin in his hand and turns my face back to him. "Abigail, I want you here, now. Do what you feel like doing. He''s not coming back."


    Public displays of affection freak me out. I don''t know why they do, but they do. The idea of having sex in this room makes my pulse shoot up into stroke territory, but looking at Jack, I can''t deny him. I know he wants this. There''s part of him that he''s been hiding, part that he seems reluctant to share, like he''s afraid that he''ll scare me away. I want to give this to him, but I''m terrified. When I look into his eyes, they flicker like blue flames. There''s heat in his gaze, a carnal desire that I want to give in to. I want to be his, the way he wants. I want to be Jack''s girl and do this for him. I know there have been others. The thought flashes through my mind. I want to give him everything. I can learn to be what he needs.


    I stand and turn toward Jack, lifting one leg over his lap so that I''m straddling him when I sit back down. Jack''s dark gaze is hard to deny. He places his hands on my knees and slips them up my legs slowly, feeling my curves. His eyes lock with mine as he does it, pushing my skirt higher and higher until it''s mostly gathered at my waist and hanging down behind me. My heart pounds harder and harder, making it impossible to breathe normally. I suck in shaky breaths as he grips my thighs. I glance up at the door, worried that we''ll be interrupted.


    Gently, Jack takes my face between his hands. I look down at him. "Kiss me, Abby." He''s telling me what he wants. I see it in his eyes, in the way he looks at me. There''s more to Jack than I know, and I want to find out what''s there. I just have to have enough guts to do it. I don''t think I do. My heart is pounding in my chest, beating so hard that the only thing I hear is the roaring in my ears. This is a turning point. This is something I have control over, but fear swims in my stomach. I''m so nervous about the door. What if the waiter comes back? What if Jack''s wrong and people walk in?


    Jack''s hot gaze slides over my face, burning a trail down my neck. When he lifts his lashes to watch me, I feel like he knows every thought in my head. This is new to me, but being prude isn''t. I never liked the idea of doing anything romantic in public. It seemed wrong somehow, but now that I''m here on his lap with my skirt hiked up to my waist and Jack''s strong hands on my thighs...I don''t know what I want. I feel conflicted, like my mind is warring with itself. What''s wrong seems right. I feel my preconceived thoughts shatter as I look into Jack''s eyes. The endless pools of blue search my face, hoping.


    That hope spills into me. I feel it surging through my veins as it pools in my chest. I don''t think. I act. I do what feels right. I could take his hand in mine and lead him back to our room. Or...


    Leaning in, I press my lips to his. Gently, I brush my mouth against Jack''s. He remains utterly still. I won''t back down. Fear twists inside me, but I don''t let it consume me. I blink slowly, watching Jack''s lips, wondering how far he wants to take this. Then I lean in and kiss him again. My lips brush over Jack''s and he responds this time. His lips part and he lets me in. I taste his kiss, growing more excited. His hands rub my thighs as my lips are crushed against his. I take his face in my hands, making the kiss hotter, deeper, and more intoxicating.


    Soon, I am not thinking about where I am or what we''re doing. I remain on his lap, our bodies locked at our lips. Jack''s hands pull me closer, forcing my legs to open farther. Then he runs his hands under my thighs and cups my butt, pulling me as close to him as I can get. It feels like a thousand butterflies have been set free inside of me, tickling every inch of my middle. I wiggle on his lap, trying to ease the feeling, but that only makes me moan. I feel him when I do that. I feel how much he wants me.


    Every other thought vanishes from my mind, and it''s only Jack and me. I close my eyes as the kiss continues, blocking out the room. I lose myself in the moment, allowing myself to feel Jack''s hands on me without being worried that someone will walk in. My skin grows slick as the room gets hotter and hotter. When I come up for air, I suck it in and go back to his mouth. We''re both breathing hard, and excitedly. Jack''s hands slip over my hips and run over my body; I moan softly and toss my head back. It shoots jolts of electricity through my body. His touch on my skin is magic. I can''t help it.


    Jack''s lips fall to my neck, where he leaves a sizzling wake of steaming kisses. I hold his head to my neck, tangling my fingers in his silky hair. I breathe in deeply, enjoying the way he makes me feel. My hips tilt and I rock against him, unable to control myself. I feel his hard length beneath me. I rock again and again, not thinking, just feeling.


    Jack moans as his fingers slide under the strap of my dress. It slips off of my shoulder. He looks up at me with a beautiful smile on his face. I''m not wearing a bra. Jack grins at me, delighted. Jack touches me lightly at first, his fingers moving slowly over my curves, and rounding the tip of my nipple. I watch him through hooded eyes, my lips parted. Again, I wonder how far he wants to take this. I hope I can follow. Before I have more time to think, Jack''s lips tear the thoughts away. The scatter like dust. His mouth returns to mine as his fingers cup my breast. His hand closes gently, feeling the fullness of my breast in his hand. He teases me, holding me and rubbing his thumb over my sensitive flesh. I suck in a surprised breath and tense in his lap, but his kiss eases me into it. I soon forget where I am. The only thing I feel is his wanting below me, pressing hard.


    The way Jack touches me brings every inch of my body to life. His fingers tease my breast, drawing out my nipple, while his tongue teases my mouth. I''m lost in lust. My entire body tingles from top to bottom. A warm glow covers my skin, making it slick. I don''t care where I am or what I''m doing. Jack''s making me so hot that I can''t think. My eyes no longer see clearly. Everything is covered in a lusty haze.


    I rock against Jack''s hips, harder this time, and break the kiss. I can''t breathe. I feel so hot. The delicious sensations building inside of me make me arch my back as I rock against him. Jack frees my other breast and my dress drops to my waist, where it pools between us. Jack watches for my reaction. He''s waiting for me to pull the dress back up to cover my naked chest, but I want his hands on me so badly. I burn for his touch. My skin is so hot, every inch is tingling, wanting to feel his hands.


    When I can''t stand it anymore, I beg, "Jack, please." Closing my eyes, I through my head back. It thrusts my chest forward, closer to Jack''s face. At first I only feel the cool air, but then Jack pulls me to him. His hands slip around my back and find their way to my breasts. He holds me, working the sensitive flesh in his hands. I breathe in loudly, trying to not scream out his name. Jack leans in close and I can feel his warm breath on my skin. Taking a nipple in his mouth, Jack sucks gently, nipping and pulling. His teeth graze my skin and then I feel the flick of his tongue. I gasp and he does it again. Every nip, every flick, drives me higher and higher. I hold onto his shoulders, rocking gently against his hips, wanting more - needing more - until I can''t stand it.


    Jack''s other hand slips down my bare back and pulls my body closer to his mouth. My fingers tangle in his hair as he kisses my curves, sucking my breast. My head hangs back and I feel every inch of my body burning to have him. I need him between my legs. I want Jack inside of me. As if he can read my mind, Jack lifts me off his lap and sets me down on the table. Jack undoes his pants and frees his hard shaft while I sit topless on the table. Jack pushes his chair back, giving me room to stand. I watch him with dark eyes. Jack pulls me to my feet while he sits in the chair, and my dress drops to the floor. The only thing I''m wearing is a tiny black panty. Jack leans forward and presses his face to my stomach. I gasp as he breathes me in. His thumbs slip into my panties on either side of my hip, and with one swift movement, he takes them off. I stand before him naked. Jack is still in his clothes, white shirt still buttoned, and here I am in nothing at all. There''s only one thing occupying my thoughts. I see his hard length. Looking up at him from under my lashes, I lick my lips. Jack pulls me toward him, making my heart race faster.


    The way he looks at me sets me aflame. Jack takes my hips and guides me onto his lap. Every thought in my head vanishes. I feel his hard, sharp length fill me, as I lower myself onto him. My mouth opens, forming a little O, and I sigh as I take him in. Jack''s hands slip down my back and to my bottom. He tilts my hips slightly and I nearly come. Gasping, I start to stand, but he pulls me back down. The movement starts my hips rocking again. I feel the tugging at my middle as unbridled lust shoots through me like flames. Jack reaches for my breasts, pulling each one into his mouth, teasing me out of my mind. He sucks ruthlessly, grazing me with his teeth. When he does it, he stills my hips so that I can''t rock. His hands hold me still, not allowing me to relieve the tension building inside of me.


    Sensations swirl though me and I can''t sit still anymore. I reach for his hands, trying to pry his fingers from me. I''m begging. "Jack, please."


    His hands shift to my ass and I rock against him so hard, so fast, that the chair starts to shift. I don''t care. I feel the craving inside me. I need him. I want him. Jack moans my name and keeps me on his lap as I rock us higher and higher. His hands dig into my hips, helping me. The heat between my legs is exquisite. I can''t stop. I need him. I want him to fill me, so I slam down harder and harder on his lap, feeling him deep within me. I feel so high, so close. Jack tilts his hips as I slam down and my body does what it craves. I feel myself shatter, breaking into a million happy pieces, floating in sheer bliss.


    At the same time, Jack pushes into me again and again, making the delicious pulsing last longer. He''s still hard inside of me. I love the feeling, but I wanted him to come with me.


    Feeling intoxicated, I say, "Don''t stop."


    Jack''s eyes are dark. Every bit of him is still aroused, still in need. Jack''s voice is so deep when he speaks. It makes the spot between my legs throb. "Are you sure?" I nod and kiss him gently on the lips.


    Jack lifts me off his lap. When I feel him pull out, I nearly come again. I don''t realize what he''s doing until he turns me to face the table and tells me to lie against the top. I bend over and feel him press against my backside. My fingers clutch the cloth. A jolt of excitement rushes through me. I''m surprised to find that I want more. As the thought fills my mind, I feel Jack ease into me. I''m still hot and slick from moments ago. He moans and says something incredibly dirty as he tries to control his thrusts. Jack moves slowly, enjoying the sensation of pushing deep into me and then pulling all the way out. I''m so sensitive that I can barely stand it, but as he does it more and more, ever so slowly, I''m sucked back into a cloud of lust. Every time I feel him press into me, I want more. Clutching the tablecloth, I lay there, not seeing anything, just feeling him push into me over and over again.


    He''s so slow and careful that I think he''s going to wait. That''s when Jack does it. He grips my shoulders hard and starts rapidly thrusting his hips, forcing his long, hard shaft in and out. I let out a rush of air as he pounds into me. The quick movement is perfect. Every time he pushes in, I can feel his body slam into mine. I clutch the edge of the table, trying to hold myself still, trying to not melt into a puddle on the floor. The heat between my legs is incredible. I feel it pulsing through me, sending that spiraling thread of desire through my body. The floating candles in the centerpiece sway back and forth in their glass bowl with each thrust of Jack''s hips. I hold on tighter. Anticipating his thrusts, I push back but it still feels like Jack is restraining himself.


    Breathlessly, I say, "Harder."


    That frees him from holding back. Jack''s body slams into mine so hard that I can no longer push back. He''s not the gentle lover that I''ve had so many times on this trip. Jack''s hands drop back to my hips as he hammers into me more fiercely than he''s ever done before. I feel him within me, pushing deeper, wanting more. I''ve never felt something like this. It feels wrong... and perfect.


    There''s a raw edge to Jack that I''d not noticed before. The way he dominates me, the way he takes what he wants makes me wonder what other fantasies are in his head. Jack acts differently. I''m no longer a glass doll that will break in his hands. I''m his lover, the woman that can be anything he needs. I feel my body defy me. That pulsing begins again and clutches Jack hard, pulling his length into me. I yell his name as I come. It pushes him over the top.


    "Oh God, Abby." Jack slams into me, and then stops suddenly before doing it twice more, coming with each delicious thrust. Jack stills before he pulls out, savoring the pulsing sensation. He leans close to my ear and whispers, "I love you."


    When he pulls away, I nearly fall to the floor, but his hands are there. Jack pulls me to him and sits in the chair, gathering me in his lap. Jack is clothed and I''m not. I have such a nice, happy, floaty feeling that I don''t care.

 Page 5

    Chapter 7


    JACKAdvertisement


    Abby snuggles against his chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt. Every inch of his body reacts to her, even after all they''ve just done. There''s a warm feeling in the center of his chest as he cradles Abby in his arms. Days like this are too few. He kisses the top of her head and tightens his grip around his wife.


    "Thank you," Jack says softly, smoothing the hair on the top of her head. The touch is gentle. Jack has so much adoration building inside of him that he isn''t sure how to let her know. He wants to hold her tight and hug her hard, but that seems like it could never be enough. There''s no way to say how he feels. Abby was right. She''s his soul mate. She makes him feel things that no other person could even fathom. Their connection is deeper than even Jack understands.


    "You don''t have to thank me, Jack," Abby answers with a funny smile tugging at her lips. She tilts her head back so she can see his face.


    Should I tell her? Jack''s eyes flick to the door and then back to Abby. The motion makes her tense and look over his shoulder. Jack kisses her forehead and explains, "Yes, I do. This was something I wanted. I know you like to keep things private, but when I saw this room I knew, I had to have you in here. You didn''t have to say yes."


    She snuggles deeper into his shirt when she hears his answer. Her cheeks have a faint blush. Damn she feels good. "I want to give you what you want," Abby replies. "I feel like you''re holding back from me sometimes. Like you''re afraid you''ll break me or something."


    "Fair enough. I won''t hold back, but you can''t either." Shocked, Abby looks up at him. Jack says, "Tell me your fantasies, tell me what you want - "


    "Jack, I don''t have any fantasies." Abby seems shy about it. Her gaze falls away from his.


    "Call them what you want, but I know you have sexy thoughts floating around in that head of yours. Aren''t you the one who covered yourself in paint, practically dancing for me?" That night is burned into Jack''s memory vividly. Abby standing before him in that lacy white panty set, and then she smeared red paint across her chest. He can still see it. It was something he never thought she''d do.


    She smiles. "Yes."


    "Aren''t you the one who pulled me onto the canvas with you? Was the painting we made while having sex - the one that''s hanging over our bed - my idea?" The corners of his mouth tug up as he says it. It''s too big for the cottage, but Jack wanted to keep it for himself. It reminds him how lucky he is to have her.


    Abby nods shyly, "Yes, but - "


    "But nothing," he says, cutting her off. Jack takes Abby''s chin in his hand and tilts her head back so he can see her eyes. They sparkle bright green. "I want to give you everything you want, everything you need. Promise me you won''t hold back as you figure out the things you like, the things you want to try with me."


    She nods shyly and nuzzles into his chest again. His arms wrap around her tightly. Jack can''t believe how Abby can be so sexual one moment and so shy the next. It''s like there''s a stripper living inside of her. It''s amazing how fast she''s changed, and at the same time, that worries him. Jack stares blankly as he thinks about it, but his mind is still too foggy to process the thoughts. He glances down at Abby when she starts to wiggle out of his lap. "Where are you going, Mrs. Gray?" Jack pulls her back against him, making her smile.


    "I should get dressed. If the waiter comes back, I''ll die." She glances toward the door and tries to slip away again. Jack holds onto her tighter.


    "He''s not coming back." Abby looks up at him, confused. Ah, fuck. He didn''t want Abby to feel uncomfortable, but when she agreed to have him here, in this room, there wasn''t a chance to tell her. Jack smiles at her, playing with the curls that hang over her bare shoulders. "I told him to go and lock the doors on the way out. The room is ours for as long as we''d like to use it. No one will interrupt us."


    Her jaw drops as Jack''s speaking, "But, I thought - "


    "I know," Jack says, his smile spreading across his face as he speaks. He can''t help it. "You thought we weren''t alone. You thought the waiter could come back or other people could walk into the room, and yet you did this for me without any hesitation. You trust me, Abby. I''ll take care of you. I wouldn''t let anyone hurt you. Ever." He kisses her temple. "I was going to tell you, but then things kind of got away from me, and - "


    Abby''s eyes are locked with his, drinking him in like she could never get enough. Before he can finish speaking, Abby grips his shirt in her hand and pulls him down hard on her mouth. She kisses him for a moment. When she comes up for air, she''s grinning. "You did that, for me?" Jack nods.


    Abby continues to gaze into his eyes. He can''t tell what she''s thinking until she stands and repositions herself on his lap, straddling him. She leans in and kisses the spot between his shoulder and his neck. Jack sighs as his body responds to her touch. A million sparks fly through him, igniting his love for her. This time, her inhibitions lessen even more. When she knows they''re alone, Abby acts how she feels with such confidence that it''s impossible to control his lust. Then Abby loves him again, until they''re both so spent that they can barely stand.


    Chapter 8


    ABBY


    Twenty-four hours later, I have emotional whiplash. The plane connected through Dallas so that I can arrange to have my belongings moved to Jack''s cottage. I hardly have anything. I''m twisting my hands nervously as we head from our hotel to the church. One of the council members will be there to let me in.


    "I hate this part," I say. Jack places his hand over mine.


    "I know, baby." His voice is soothing, but it doesn''t release the fear that''s strangling me.


    "Jack, they nearly destroyed me. I don''t know if I can do this." I stare out the window, feeling dread climbing up my throat. I thought I was a strong person, but after what happened to me down here, I don''t think that anymore. I did what I thought was right, but nothing worked out that way. It made me question everything. In the very depths of my soul, I don''t know what I believe anymore. There''s a disconnect between my faith and my life. Nothing worked out the way it should have, except Jack. I thank God for him, and that we found each other in this mess.


    Jack takes my hand and holds it tightly. "It''ll only be a few minutes. The movers will arrive and we can leave." I nod. My heart is thumping inside my chest like a flat tire. I''m shaking. Jack rubs my hand and says, "You can do this, Abby. You''re stronger now."


    I smile nervously. I want to believe him. The car stops in the church parking lot and we get out. Jack tells the driver to wait even though we''ll be a little bit. Nerves inch up my spine like icy fingers with each step I take towards the building. I''d blot out this part of my past, if I could.


    We''re to meet with Dick Bennit, the council member who rallied against me, in the church office - my old office. I lead Jack through the quiet church, passing the chapel, and head toward the offices. My throat tightens as my pulse races faster. I don''t want to be here. I don''t want to see him. I don''t trust myself. I''ll either break down and cry; or scream in his face. I''m not sure which would be worse.


    Jack glances at me out of the corner of his eye. He looks around, at the white walls and ugly brown trim. His eyes scan the bulletin board, littered with lists and announcements. When we stop at the office, he grips my hand hard.


    I nod and knock on my old door. A deep voice booms, "Come."


    Dick is a man who loves power. This whole thing is probably the highlight of his day. I push open the door, but barely step over the threshold. My nerves make me look mad. "Good afternoon, Mr. Bennit."


    "Abigail," he says, smiling like there is nothing sour between us. The man is in his sixties with silver hair. He towers over me, and is wearing a plastic smile, like he''s pleased to see me.


    Ignoring all the arguments that pool in my mind, I say coolly, "The movers will be here in a moment. Please open the parsonage." The bastard had changed the locks after I left, like the church thought I''d steal something.


    Bennit''s eyes shift to Jack. He stands and extends a hand to me from behind my old desk. "Manners, Abigail, dear. Introduce the man who stole you away from us. I''m Dick Bennit."


    Jack reaches forward and grips his hand hard. Suddenly the air feels a lot more tense. "Jack Gray."


    I hate the way he speaks to me. Everything is always shrewd manipulation with this guy. Whatever tumbles out of his mouth sounds kind, but his words are barbed. They pierce me and make me bristle.


    "Let''s not pretend that things are fine between us, Dick. You threw me out. I know it was you that caused all the problems and twisted the Board into thinking a year in the desert was a good idea. I''m here to get my things."


    Dick usually doesn''t let me push him around, but this time is different. He reaches into a drawer and dangles the keys over the desk. "Here Abby, sweetheart. I know you''re upset with me, but in time, that will pass. You''ll see that this was God''s plan for you and we were merely the means." He''s smiling at me with righteous indignation.


    I smile back and take the keys. "Come on, Jack."


    Jack and Dick nod at each other, but their stance says something else. It''s like Dick is daring Jack to talk. I walk away quickly and fly across the lawn to the house. When I walk inside, I look around. My things are gone. I hardly left anything behind, but I did leave some stuff. I run up the stairs to the bedroom, looking for my linens and books. They''re gone. I rush to the closet, the bathroom, the attic - there''s nothing here. Fuming, I come back downstairs and see Dick standing next to Jack. Jack''s arms are folded over his chest. He''s burning a hole through the floor with his eyes. Dick has that look on his face, the smug one that he has when he knows he''s inflicting damage. I catch the tail end of his words.


    "...her full potential. You''ll have to live with that." Dick glances up at me on the staircase. "We already boxed your things. They''re in the kitchen. The movers should use the back door so they don''t soil the carpets. We just had them cleaned." He gives me a poignant look and walks away.


    Jack has a strange look on his face. I ask, "What did he say to you?"


    Jack shakes his head, "Nothing worth repeating, Abby." He steps away from me and looks around the little house. "I can picture you here." My anger melts and I smile at him. My life would have been so different if he had been here back then. Jack points at the corner with the fireplace. "I bet you used to sit there with a book, reading in front of the firelight, even if it were insanely hot outside." He grins at me.


    "You know, I did." I look around and the smile slips off my face. This is a shadow of my old life, a life that''s gone. It feels like a piece of me has died and I don''t know how to reconcile it. "Come on, let''s see what they did with my stuff." I walk into the kitchen and sure enough, all my things are piled by the backdoor.


    Jack puts his arms around me and leans in close. He kisses my cheek and says, "I don''t pretend to know how heartbroken you are about this, Abby, but something good came from it. It brought you back to me." An orange moving truck pulls up. Jack releases me and goes to flag them down.


    Worry pinches my stomach, making me feel sick. My life shifted when I left this place. I wish I could forget it and wipe my mind clean.


    Jack arranges everything with the movers and we leave. My back is rigid as we ride in the cab. Jack seems tense, as well. Something changed when we stepped into that house - I don''t know what it was, but I know it can''t be turned back.


    Chapter 9


    JACK


    After making sure Abby''s things got put onto the truck, Jack felt spent. He could feel the energy being sucked out of Abby while they were there. Everything made her melancholy, like she was mourning something she couldn''t have possibly fixed. Hearts made of stone don''t bend, they crack when pushed too far.


    Jack falls into silence, thinking. He saw how his wife''s face lit up in that little house. There''s an entire part of her that he doesn''t know. It had been the driving force in her life, and he has no idea about any of it. Jack isn''t faithless, but he isn''t like her. Abby has a kindness to her that makes her vulnerable. She shares her heart in full, not holding back, knowing damn well that the people around her could crush it. She does it anyway, which makes her amazing.


    The flight to New York seems to take forever. Jack holds Abby''s hand as she drifts off to sleep against his shoulder. When the flight attendant comes by to offer food and drinks, Jack shakes his head. He doesn''t want to wake her. Abby seems to sleep so little. Something keeps waking her at night. She thinks he doesn''t notice, but he does. Once, she sat straight up and clutched her heart, gasping so loud that it sounded like a muffled scream. Jack didn''t understand what could have done that to her, but he knows she''s shattered - broken to some extent. He wants to take her home and let her heal. Given the time, he thinks she will. Bringing her to Texas just opened all those wounds again. Jack kisses the top of her head.


    That man that caused Abby to be forced out was a piece of work. He honed in on a weak spot and attacked with a genuine smile on his face, like he enjoyed it. The things he said to Jack while Abby was upstairs were familiar. They were the same fears that have been festering in his mind. The bastard put them in words and didn''t hold back. Jack''s stomach nearly pitched then and there, but he refused to react. Glancing over at Abby, Jack wondered if they could defy the odds, if lovers this messed up could endure forever. He''d never stop loving her, but Jack can''t help but worry about messing things up. Especially with the mess waiting at home. The thing he wanted to give her the most was nearly impossible to get - more time.

 Page 6

    Chapter 10


    ABBYAdvertisement


    When we arrive at the studio, Kate welcomes us home. Gus stands next to her and they both look guilty. Jack and I are tired from the trip, so at first I think my senses are off, but nope, something''s majorly wrong. The smile on Kate''s face is the one she wears when she has to break bad news. The driver brings in our bags and walks around us. Jack and I stand opposite Gus and Kate in the lobby of the main building. The new receptionist Cara is there also. She''s really sweet. Gus did a good job hiring her.


    After our hellos are said, I blurt out, "What''s wrong? And don''t tell me ''nothing,'' Kate. It''s written all over your face."


    Cara''s eyes drop to her computer and she goes back to typing.


    Kate glances at Gus and then back at Jack. After a second, she looks at me with worry in her eyes. "Well, the painting didn''t get on the truck. There was some miscommunication with someone," she says, her eyes cutting sharply to Gus, "and the main painting for the exhibit wasn''t loaded."


    "What?" Jack asks with his voice raised slightly. He glances at Gus as his tired body tenses. Jack blinks once and runs his fingers through his hair. He stares at Kate, but turns and says to Gus, "Let me get this straight. The painting of Abby - the one that everyone plastered all over the tour billboards, posters, and tickets - that one didn''t get shipped with the others? Tell me you''re joking; please say this didn''t happen." Silence. Gus looks like he wants to say something, but doesn''t. Jack loses it. "Damn it, Gus! How did this happen!"


    Gus runs his hands through his sandy hair. He averts his gaze initially, like he''s guilty, before looking at Jack. "It was an oversight. I''ll fix it. I''ll - "


    "How are you going to fix it?" Jack says, rubbing his temples. Something about Gus''s behavior seems off. He normally yells back at Jack when they have a disagreement - I''ve heard them - but today Gus just stands there. Maybe he really screwed up? Or maybe there''s something else going on.


    Kate responds for Gus. "Jack, we''re driving Abby''s portrait down there ourselves. Biloxi isn''t too far. We''ll take turns driving. The painting will be there in hours, and it will arrive right on time with the rest of the exhibit." Kate makes it sound like nothing, like Mississippi has been slapped down on top of Jersey. It''s at least a 30-hour drive from here.


    "The museum is giving you time off?" I ask, surprised. Kate protects her days off like a tiger.


    She gives me a look that says this was partly her fault. Kate pulls her hair into a ponytail as she speaks. She''s wearing a jogging suit, ready for the drive. She knew this was going to happen.


    Kate answers, "Not exactly, but it''s handled. We waited for you guys to get home so the studio wouldn''t be totally unstaffed. We couldn''t leave new girl here alone. The canvas is already crated and on the truck. This was our mistake. We''re fixing it. Besides, I''d kind of like to see the traveling display after its all set up. I''ll send you pictures. You can put it on your website, Jack." Kate hugs me again, before she turns away and pushes through the door.


    Gus follows after her, calling back to us, "See you in a few days. I''ll give you a call later, Jack, and fill you in. Stay out of trouble while I''m gone." The playful look on Gus''s face keeps Jack from yelling. Kate and Gus hurry towards the truck parked around back.


    Jack and I watch it disappear down the driveway, past the pines at the edge of the road. Jack''s arms are folded over his chest. He''s leaning against the desk. I glance over at him and ask, "Do you have the feeling that they aren''t telling us everything?"


    He nods. "Without a doubt."


    Chapter 11


    JACK


    Abby is so tired. Dark circles cling beneath her eyes. Jack wishes she could sleep. It doesn''t seem to matter if she''s taking a nap or asleep in his bed, something makes her toss and turn.


    It''s nearly nightfall, and Abby''s been sleeping restlessly on the couch in the studio. Jack looks through some mail, but doesn''t have the heart for it. Eventually he''s pulled to his paint. Taking up a brush in his hand, Jack starts to paint. He doesn''t think, he just takes colors and blends them across the small canvas as Abby sleeps. Hours pass like this, in silence.


    Worry creases Jack''s brow as he slips the brush into the paint. At some point, Jack stops using the brush. He''s smoothing a curved line when Abby awakes.


    She stretches and looks over at him. "What time is it?"


    "About bedtime."


    Abby seems upset. She rubs her eyes and stands. "Why''d you let me sleep so long? I wanted to spend the day with you."


    Jack''s eyes are on the painting until she says that. He flicks his gaze to meet hers and he smiles. "We did spend the day together."


    Abby grins at him. When she walks over, Jack can''t keep his eyes off the sway of her hips. Her beauty is intoxicating. He can never look enough, never feel enough, never hold her enough. Abby comes around the easel and stops. Apparently she doesn''t expect to see herself.


    "Jack," she says in a hushed voice. "This is... Wow." Abby looks at the canvas with wide eyes.


    Jack watches her, pleased by her reaction. "You like it?" Abby nods, leaning closer to look at the strokes of paint. "I''m glad. After you fell asleep, you looked so perfect. I hoped you wouldn''t mind." She looked like an angel. Jack couldn''t resist. He painted her sleeping face with her fiery red hair softly flowing over her shoulders. Her pale skin and rose-colored lips give the whole thing a surreal feel. It''s different for him. And prior to this, Jack seldom used anything but a brush to paint with. Abby''s hair was done with his fingers, pulling them through the paint, blending the colors on the canvas. It makes the whole thing have a unique. The painting is a combination of them both.


    As Jack cleans up, Abby stands in front of the little canvas, leaning close and then stepping back, like she can''t believe it. Once Jack has everything cleaned up, he walks up behind Abby and sweeps her off her feet. Abby falls back into his arms with a squeal and a smile.


    "Mrs. Gray, I have to carry you over the threshold of our home. It''s a tradition. Don''t even try to get down." He leans in and kisses his bride. Jack takes the short walk from the studio to the cottage with Abby in his arms. He carries her into the cottage and lies her on the bed.


    "I can''t believe that I''m going to have you in my bed for the rest of my life," Jack says, smiling down at her. He lays down next to Abby and pulls her against his chest. Abby drifts off to sleep and finally rests.


    Chapter 12


    ABBY


    The next day starts off wonderfully. I''m in Jack''s bed - I mean our bed - in his little cottage. I must have passed out in his arms last night. I''ve been so tired lately. Nightmares keep flashing through my head, but instead of being chased by monsters, I''m being haunted by my past. The day the church board announced my punishment keeps replaying over and over in my mind. Every emotion that I felt then, comes back full force. The tight throat and cotton mouthed replies that seem weak in hindsight plague me. But for some reason, the shadows didn''t come last night. I didn''t see Dick Bennit''s face twisting with pleasure. There was nothing. No dreams. Just rest.


    I roll over and look around the little cottage. The painting that Jack and I made the first time we were together is hanging over the bed. It makes me smile. I glance around wondering where I''ll put my things. They''ll be here in a few days and although Jack told me to make the place feel like my home, too, it already does. I don''t want to change much at all. Maybe put a reading chair in the room, but that''s about it.


    Jack awakens next to me. He rolls over and gathers me into his arms. Damn, he feels good. "Good morning, Mrs. Gray." My body presses into his, and I feel like nothing bad can happen.


    "Good morning, lover."


    Jack laughs and kisses my temple. "I''ll never grow tired of hearing you say that." Jack holds me tightly before sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I need to get up and get going. Something''s up with the tour. I need to figure out what happened while we were gone."


    I roll onto my stomach and watch him as he slips away from the bed. The sheet slides away and my eyes fixate on his tight butt. I must be staring, because when Jack turns, he says, "If you keep looking at me like that, I''m never going to get any work done."


    "Maybe that''s my plan," I say and wink at him. My body is barely covered by the sheets. Jack''s eyes rove over the blankets looking for bits of skin peeking through.


    "You''re wicked," he grins, pausing like he might come back before shaking his head and walking into the bathroom. The shower turns on and I lay back in the bed, disappointed. I stare at the white ceiling, holding the blanket to my chest when I hear his voice, "Are you coming?"


    Smiling, I spring from the bed and join Jack in the shower.


    We grin at each other over breakfast. My bare feet play with his beneath the table. I can''t stop smiling. It isn''t until Jack opens the mail that the mood shifts. He has a white envelope in his hand. Ripping it open, he smiles at me, teasing me about something - until he unfolds the paper inside. Jack''s face freezes. His eyes flick up to mine. The paper is still clutched in his hand.


    "What is it?" I ask, reaching for the letter, but he doesn''t let me see. Instead, he gets up and walks to one of the computers at the front of the studio. I follow along behind him, wondering why he''s gone tense. "Jack, what''s wrong?"


    Jack sits in front of a computer and punches in a web address. It pops up quickly, showing orange flickering flames on a red background as the sidebars. The center is white, with black text. The header is a red and white graphic that says, "MORAL BRIMSTONE." There are names of organizations to boycott, names of public figures who said the wrong thing, including one name that matters very much to me. It''s in big black letters right at the top - JONATHAN GRAY STUDIOS.


    My chest tightens as I lean in and read over Jack''s shoulder. "Is that what I think it is?" Shock swallows me whole as I stare at the screen. It looks like a hate website and there''s a call to action at the top, telling people that Jack is corrupt and in need of having his thoughts changed. At first I think it''s because they believe sensuous art has no place in public places, but its more than that. They seem to have a personal problem with Jack.


    "Fuck," Jack says through gritted teeth. He stares at the screen, not reading it, just staring. His fists tighten and he hangs his head between his shoulders before running his fingers through his hair.


    "Jack?" I ask uncertainly, not fully comprehending what''s wrong. Jack has always had protesters, people who hate his work. It bothers him, but I''ve never seen him react like this. "They''re just another group, right? You''ve dealt with this before. I thought most of your shows had picketers?"


    "They do. There are always small groups of peaceful protesters at my shows. That''s not the problem," Jack says, looking up at me. "Brimstone''s a nightmare. They''re not just a bunch of zealots bent on giving art in America a dress code; they''re an organization that calls for morality, but the way they go about it is violent. They use the normal picketers, douse them with verbal lighter fluid, and drop a match. They''re dangerous. They use normal, peaceful people to accomplish their goals. There was a shooting last year that was linked to them. A few months ago they were tied to another heinous act. They tied a gay kid to a post and burned him like he was a witch. The group has been suspected of other things, horrible things, but no one can pin specific events on them. They turn peaceful protesters into mobs and then get the mobs to do their dirty work for them."


    My eyes are bugging out. I can''t believe what he''s telling me. "Is there anything we can do to stop them?"


    "No, they''re classified as a religious organization, and between that and free speech, they''re hard to get rid of once you''re targeted. Besides that, they''re small. For all I know, the group could be run by one person. There''s no indication of how large the group is. Most of the time, when something goes down and Brimstone takes credit for it, the protesters have no idea how they turned violent. It wasn''t their intention, but something changed, and it made sense at the time. I popped up on their radar once before, but they didn''t go after me then. I never found out why." Jack is working his jaw, staring at the note in his hands. "No wonder Kate and Gus didn''t let your painting leave with the rest of the shipment." Jack stands and paces the room, his hand stroking his chin.


    "I don''t get it. Why would they separate that painting?" My eyes scan the article about Jack. It''s horrifying. They''re saying that he single-handedly destroyed a minister, and while the media sang his praises, Brimstone knows what he really is - an advocate of evil. The article goes on to urge people to rally against Jack, and tells them not to condemn those who Jack has tainted - by which, they mean me. By the time my eyes reach the end of the story, I''m fuming. They made Jack into the bad guy. They have accused him of practically raping me, of forcing me to be his wife - like I didn''t have enough of a brain to tell him no. Horrified, I look at Jack.


    He doesn''t return my gaze. They hit a sore spot. "They''re targeting me because of our relationship, because you were chaste and I stole you from the church. They say I turned you into a whore. According to their site, they realized the painting of you was created prior to our wedding vows. They think I corrupted you. The call to action is to win you back. This is personal. They''re using the tour as an excuse to attack me now because it''ll draw in more people. They''ll try to destroy that painting, and possibly the others, at the very least."


    "Jack, are you sure?" I look at the screen again. I see the site owner, a man who calls himself, "Wrath." My eyes trail to previous posts, which call for people to take back their country, to flush out the evils that are polluting the masses. There are hundreds of responses. I know as I say it that this man is a problem. He''s targeting Jack because of me.


    Jack stops and looks at me. "Yes. This group doesn''t do things small. I''m sorry Abby, but they''re coming. Protesters will be at the galleries, following the tour, and some will come out here. Some of these Brimstone people will be mixed in with them, ready to strike. We need to be ready for it."


    I nod slowly, looking into his eyes. Sorrow clings to him, like he can barely breathe, like he believes Wrath''s words. I stand and walk over to him. Touching his arm, I say, "Jack, you know that stuff isn''t true, that you didn''t do anything - "


    Jack pulls away. "I know," is all he says. Although his lips say the words, I don''t think he believes them.


    "Jack, my life shattered before I came back here. That job in Texas sucked out my soul, and I was letting them do it. I wanted to help people; I wanted it so badly that I thought I had to stay there and let them suck me dry."


    "And now?" he asks, standing apart from me. "Now where are you? Your faith is broken, I took you from a life that you excelled at, and now you can never go back."


    "Where is this coming from? Jack, I can go back. I could take a job as a minister again. There are other denominations, other congregations, that share my faith, but I don''t know if that''s what I''m meant to do. I don''t know what I want yet. That''s not bad, is it? I didn''t think it meant that they broke me."


    Jack looks at me with sorrow in his eyes. "It wasn''t totally them. I''m not free from blame - "


    My heart slips into my stomach. He thinks he hurt me. Stepping toward him, I say, "Love binds, Jack. It always has, it always will. Don''t doubt that." I slip my arms around his waist as I speak and some of his tension fades. "What we have isn''t some meaningless tryst. It''s love and I don''t care what people say about how we came to discover that, I won''t apologize for finding my soul mate."


    Jack gives me a lopsided smile and holds me to his chest. "I wish I could have heard you preach. You have more conviction in one tiny thought than I have in my whole body. You seem to know things. You''re even content with the things you don''t know."


    "Yeah. That''s just about everything. And that''s fine. Maybe that''s part of faith or maybe it''s just me, but I know how much you worried about making me fall for you, Jack. The truth is, you didn''t make me do anything. You were made for me and I merely noticed."


    Jack holds me against his chest, chasing away the feeling that demons that are ready to attack.

 Page 7

    Chapter 13


    JACKAdvertisement


    Later that night Jack gets a call from Gus. "What''s going on?" Jack says into his phone. Abby sits across from him at the table, picking at a slice of pizza.


    Gus''s voice sounds strained. There''s a lot of noise behind him, making it difficult to hear. "What you thought. There are protesters and the normal kind of stuff, but the crowds are large, and some of them are calling for more radical action. Kate went down there earlier and was wandering around among them, you know, talking trash, hoping someone would say something. She overheard a few people saying that they should do something, but when they saw her, they shut up."


    "Yeah, Kate doesn''t exactly blend in down there," Jack says, running his hand through his hair. He glances at Abby and smiles sadly.


    Gus snorts. "Kate doesn''t blend anywhere. She''s a pain in the ass, but you already know that." He chuckles, which is swiftly followed by a smack. "Ow, what''d you do that for?" He''s talking to Kate. "It''s not like you''re low maintenance or anything. Damn, Kate."


    "Gus, get back on track. What else is going on?" Jack says, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.


    "Oh, sorry. The museum is a little bit skittish about housing your art. It''s not like the major museums in the country where a good scandal helps draw in more patrons to see what all the fuss is about. They''re a little freaked out by the size of the crowd."


    "What''s your impression? Do you think it has the same vibe as previous shows?"


    "No," Gus says, lowering his voice, "there''s something in the air making everyone tense."


    "It''s as bad as I thought, then. Listen, Brimstone flagged me. I think they''re going to try to do something down there. They don''t seem to realize that I won''t be at the opening. Normally, I would have been, but with the way our honeymoon fell and the tour plans, I''m not going to be at an opening until the show is back in New York. That said, have you seen any trace of their people?"


    "Holy shit," Gus says. There''s some static, like he changed the phone to his other ear. "Are you serious?"


    "Yeah. I got a letter today, anonymously. It said to look at the site. Either someone gave us a heads up or they want to make sure we''re looking when things crash and burn. How''d you know who they were?"


    "They send us shit from time to time, usually taunting letters saying that you''re next. So I looked them up. I know exactly who they are. Since they seem to aim at one person at a time and they had someone else in their sights, I ignored it. You get fan mail and hate mail, Jack. I thought it was hate mail. I didn''t think they''d seriously put you on the list next." Gus says some choice words over and over again.


    Jack cuts him off, "Listen, I don''t want anyone to get hurt. Take Kate and get the hell out of there."


    "Done. We''ll go to the airport now and grab a flight back. We should be there first thing tomorrow. And Jack..."


    "Yeah?"


    "Thanks for not taking my head off about the painting. I didn''t want anything to happen to it. I know how much it means to you and Abby. It was Kate''s idea to drive it down." There''s another smack. Gus''s voice gets higher, "Well, it was. But I thought it was a good idea. It''s my fault if something happens to it because of what we did."


    "I know why you did it, Gus. Tell Kate thanks. It''s nice to know someone else is watching out for us."


    "No problem. See you in the morning."


    Jack hits the END CALL button and tosses the phone on the table. There''s an open pizza box between him and Abby. Her green eyes flick up to meet his. She looks so fragile lately. If he could take away her anguish, he would. Jack knows she tries to hide it and act like it''s not there, but he knows her too well for that.


    "So, everything''s fine then?" Abby asks sarcastically, taking a bite out of a slice.


    Jack presses his finger to the table, staring at nothing in particular. "Yeah," he laughs and looks up at her. "Gus said there are more protestors than usual, but that doesn''t necessarily mean anything."


    Worry flashes across her face and she asks, "Do you really think that the Brimstone people would do something to Kate and Gus? I mean, they''re going after you, right?"


    Jack glances at Abby and nods. "Yeah, but they''ll aim at the people around me if they can. I wish I knew who threw them at us. The tour itself isn''t controversial, especially since I married you and it was all over the press." Jack sighs and stares blankly.


    Abby picks a piece of cheese off her pizza and pops it in her mouth. "So this is about something else?"


    "Most likely."


    She nods slowly. "And we have no idea what, or why they targeted you?"


    "I''m an easy target Abby." Jack sits up and straightens, stretching his back. "I always have been."


    "It''s because you paint with your heart." She glances up at him. "There''s no way to please everyone. I couldn''t put my heart on a canvas and listen to people rip it apart. I don''t know how you do that."


    Jack walks over to her and pulls her up. Taking Abby in his arms, he says, "Because every painting is a memory of you. They can say what they want about the quality of my work, but when I look at it, all I see are reflections of you."


    Jack pulls her into a tight hug, wishing he could shelter her from the days ahead.


    Chapter 14


    ABBY


    Gus and Kate fly back the next morning, telling us what they saw over coffee. We''re sitting in the conference room in front of a span of windows.


    Kate is bleary-eyed. She came out with Gus. I told her that I''d take her back home later. "They can''t back out without pissing off my boss, so they won''t. It''s hard to get traveling shows. They''re so expensive and most of the smaller museums don''t have the funding or the ability to get a show on their own. The traveling shows are important to them. So, pulling out of one can screw them out of future shows. If they toss Jack, they toss the Russian czars exhibit next fall, so they won''t do it, but all the people are riled up," Kate explains. "The locals see picketers at the museum and want to know what''s going on. They assume it must be bad if there are protestors. Then the news comes out, then the paper, and then schools ban us and things start to get hairy."


    She stifles a yawn and Gus continues. "Any publicity is good publicity but this carries a double edged sword," Gus says. He dumps three more packets of sugar into his coffee and stirs. "Groups like this one have been known to be sponges. They attract every lunatic that doesn''t like the way things are and rallies them together. They all blame Jack and feel better about it. The problem is, with that many people together and angry about something, things tend to get ugly."


    "It isn''t even about the art," Kate says. I shoot her a look, but she misses it. I don''t want her to say it. I see Jack struggling with this every day. "It''s about you two. That Brimstone group made the art an extension of the morality problems in America. Somehow that guy Wrath has them thinking that you created the seven deadly sins and then painted them onto those canvases."


    Cara chimes in from the door. "That''s ridiculous. There are actual paintings of the seven deadly sins. Jacks are nothing like those." She''s leaning in the doorway, listening to the conversation while watching the front of the gallery. From her spot at the door, she can see the entrance, her desk, and us.


    Kate shrugs and answers, "Since when does a group need a logical reason to protest something? The group sounds insane to me, but the people were eating it up. One woman was telling a newscaster how your Woman in White portrait was of Jack raping an angel. Could you think of a more ludicrous - "


    Jack tenses as Kate is talking. His blue gaze falls to the table as he works his jaw. Even though I can tell he''s upset, I still don''t expect his reaction. The mug in his hands is suddenly hurled at the wall. It shatters and falls to the carpet. Streaks of brown flow down the wall and soak into the floor. He doesn''t look back or apologize. Jack simply springs from his chair, pushes past Cara, and leaves.


    Kate glances at the wall and then back at me. "I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to - "


    "It''s all right. He''s just mad. You know how hard he tries to keep his name clean, and then this happens." Because of me. I know Jack''s wrestling with something. I feel him pulling away. I have no idea how to fix it, but this is making it so much worse. I saw the way he moved, the way his body tensed before he hurled that glass at the wall. I glance at the door, wondering if I should follow Jack or give him time to calm down.


    Gus looks at me oddly. It''s like he has something to say, but doesn''t want to tell me. "Abby, they''re going to slaughter Jack. It''s not just that they want to shut him down; they want to make him into an example. This is far from over."


    "So what do we do? Is your boss pissed?" I ask Kate, suddenly, wondering what their take on it is.


    "Oh, please. As if my boss cares about some yokels down south. As long as the exhibit stays in one piece, she''s fine with it. The tour has hired security personnel to make sure no one does anything to the paintings. The tour ends back here in New York. As long as you can tolerate the crap the picketers say, I think it''ll be good."


    Gus huffs like they''ve had this conversation already. "This isn''t your normal group of picketers. Brimstone has a history of violence. When they can''t get things to go their way through legal channels, they get aggressive." Kate just stares at him. I kick her shin, thinking she fell asleep.


    "What? We already went through this. No matter what happens, I think it''s good for Jack.," Kate says.


    "No, getting shot is not good for Jack," Gus blurts out. Kate gives him a look and he presses his lips together and shakes his head. I stare at him with my mouth open, trying to take in what he just said. Gus backtracks. "I mean, if it comes to that. I don''t think these individuals are all armed felons waiting to hurt people, Abby, but that Wrath guy has them thinking that people like Jack are turning this country into crap. Somehow he lit a flame under every activist group there is and they''re all targeting Jack. I think we should take this seriously, and not let it get out of hand."


    "It''s already out of hand and it just started," Cara says.


    I press my fingers to my eyes. This can''t be happening. It''s always been horrible when I see it on TV, but when those hate slingers are aiming for us, it''s worse.


    "We''ll manage the exhibit. You make sure Jack doesn''t run over the protesters when they find this place." Kate pats my arm. "We''re here for you guys." Gus and Cara nod in agreement. Everyone here is willing to protect Jack.


    I nod and stare into space, thinking. I have no idea what to say. I don''t know how to weather things like this. I never thought I''d be married to someone so famous and now that I am, I don''t know how to protect him. I wish I could take him back to the Caribbean and erase everything that''s happened since we came back, but I can''t. My mind races through different scenarios, trying to figure out the best way to deal with this. Jack feels so fragile to me. He''s so upset about us. I''m afraid that this mess will force a rift between us. It''s already there. I feel his guilt; I see it in his eyes. Nothing I''ve said seems to make things all right. I can''t let him go through this. But there''s only one way to the other side of this mess, and it''s straight through the middle.


    Glancing at Kate and Gus, I ask, "What if we were the ones who dropped the proverbial match and blew it up? What if we expose whatever we have so there''s nothing to dig up on me and Jack? What if we preempt them and steal their wind? I''m sure they''ll try to drag out that Jack and I had an intimate relationship before we were married. What if we said it first?"


    Cara offers, "It''s not a bad idea."


    Kate glances at Cara and Gus, then back at me. "Maybe not. But, it could go wrong and blow up in your face."


    I don''t like this. I wish I could stop it, but I can''t. Forcing the situation to explode will make it burn out faster. I say to Kate. "It''s going to do that anyway, so why wait? The longer we wait, the more stress Jack has to go through, the more time people have to blame him." I stare blankly at the coffee stains dripping down the wall. No one speaks for a moment. I keep seeing Jack throw that mug at the wall. I know what this is doing to him. That''s when it hits me. Glancing at Gus, I ask, "What if I told the press that I started the relationship?"


    He gives Kate a concerned look and then leans forward. "It''ll shift the blame to you," Gus says, clasping his hands together. He thinks about it for a second and shakes his head. Gravely he answers, "I don''t think that''s wise, Abby. That might not keep Brimstone from going after Jack and it''ll make you more of a target than you already are."


    "Yeah, but it''ll shield Jack. He''s already been battered enough." I look at the pieces of cracked mug that lay on the floor. My gaze rests there as Gus and Kate discuss my idea. It''s a crappy idea, I know that, but it''ll spare Jack from endless hours of speculation about how he lured me into the darkness. I stand abruptly. "It''s no contest." Glancing at Gus, I say, "Do it. Tell the media that I initiated the relationship. Don''t say anything else. I''ll take care of it later."


    "Abby," Gus warns, "you''re throwing yourself under the bus."


    "I know. I have to. Just do it. And Gus - don''t tell Jack." Gus gives me a look that says he isn''t sure about that part, that he doesn''t keep stuff from Jack. I answer, "If I do it myself, I''ll probably say more than I should, so do me a favor and speak for me. You''ll be helping Jack. Trust me."


    "I hope you know what you''re doing," Gus says as he picks up the phone.


    The pit of my stomach curls as dread''s cold fingers touch my shoulders. "So do I."

 Page 8

    Chapter 15


    ABBYAdvertisement


    Before I drive Kate back to her apartment, I find Jack sitting on the shore, watching the waves crash into the shore. The surf is quiet today. I see him sitting there with his knees drawn up, his bare feet pushed into the sand. His head is hanging between his shoulders like he''s worried. He grips the side of his head like he can''t believe this is happening. Silently, I walk toward him and sit down. Neither of us says anything for a few moments.


    Jack speaks first. He untangles his hands from the back of his head and looks up at me. "I''m sorry about that. I didn''t mean to lose my temper. It''s just - "


    I lean into his shoulder, and say, "I would have done the same. Sometimes smashing a piece of glass feels really good. Other times it just makes a mess."


    Jack glances at me out of the corner of his eye. His dark hair is ruffled by the wind. Everything about him looks so perfect. I want to ease his pain. I want to make this vanish for him, but I don''t know how. Gus is on the phone, throwing me under the bus. Jack will be upset that I did it, but I couldn''t let them do this to him. Diverting their attention might make the whole thing pass faster. I''m a nobody. Making an example out of me is pointless.


    "You always say things like that."


    "Like what?"


    He smiles at me. "Things that make me feel better for acting like an idiot. You''re like, ''oh I do that, too.''" He smiles sheepishly at me and looks down at his knees. "You know, I thought our married life would be the start of something amazing. Now, I feel like I just shot all that to Hell. As soon as you stepped off the plane, I dragged you back into the acidic limelight. I wonder if it''s worth it. Maybe I should have closed the studio. You and I could have lived off our money forever and never needed a thing. This was greedy, thoughtless..."


    I stare at him, shocked that he would suggest such a thing. "Working is not greedy. Feeling the need to create something isn''t greed either. Just because they don''t understand you doesn''t give them a reason to crucify you.


    "Jack, I love you. I love your art, I love watching you paint. I couldn''t wait to assist and be there when you made you next piece of work. Everyone is buzzing about how amazing you are, about how you''re at a juncture and that your work will change. We''re all waiting with bated breath to see what you do." I''m smiling. I can''t help it. My hand is on Jack''s knee and I''m looking him in the eye as I tell him my hopes. "You can''t give up because some ass doesn''t understand you."


    "It''s not giving up, Abby. It''s prioritizing. I chose you. You come first." He looks at me with those big blue eyes and my heart lurches. He''d give up everything for me.


    "You come first for me, too, which is why I can''t let you do this. You can''t shove half of who you are in a box and pretend it isn''t there anymore. You can''t; believe me, I know. Half my heart has always been here with you. I tried to run, but a piece of me was missing. We complement each other like bread and butter. We just go together. It makes everything better - every experience, every moment, every joy, and every bit of trouble. Jack, I love all of you. I''ll stand beside you no matter what happens."


    The air feels heavy, like there''s a storm in the distance. Jack looks out to sea while I speak, his eyes fixated on the waves. His arms have been wrapped around his knees the entire time. I drape my arm over his shoulder and pull him to me. Jack rests his head against my shoulder. His arm slips around my waist and he says, "I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine."


    "Are you quoting pretty poems to get into my panties?" I say, jokingly.


    Jack laughs and turns to me. The grin on his face is the only forewarning I have. Suddenly I''m on his lap, in his arms. He''s tickling me. "That smart mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble, Mrs. Gray."


    "If this is trouble, I''m all in." He tickles me harder and I fall back into the sand. Jack is on top of me, looking down into my eyes. Something changes, and when he kisses me, it feels like a cry for help. I kiss him softly; and thread my fingers through his hair, holding the back of his head. I act much braver than I am. I don''t know what''s coming, and maybe they do. The other part is this fierce girl that lives inside of me and takes control of my mouth periodically. She likes to kick ass. I wish I could hold onto her more often.


    "I need to bring Kate home. She''s probably asleep, drooling on your desk."


    Jack''s eyes glitter, like he''s thinking something naughty. "Sometimes I wonder what would make you salivate like that, what would render you so incredibly filled with lust; that you would drool all over yourself." He presses a kiss to my neck.


    "I suppose you intend to find out?" I ask, looking up at him through my lashes. It feels weird talking about something I''ve been trying to avoid for most of my life.


    He nods. "You know I do. Tonight, after dinner, I want to make you feel like you''re the only person in the world and the only thing you want is me."


    My stomach does a delicious dip when he says those words. "That sounds perfect."


    Chapter 16


    ABBY


    As I ride back with Kate, she doesn''t say much. I practically have to twist her arm to get her talking. "So, nothing at all happened while I was gone?"


    "Aside from the obvious, no." She''s gazing out her window, leaning away from me. I''m driving Jack''s car. It handles like a dream.


    "Why didn''t you let us know?" I ask, a little annoyed with her. They could have told us what we were walking into.


    "Gus did," Kate looks at me funny. "He called Jack the last night you were there. We didn''t want to mess up your entire trip."


    Ah, that makes more sense. Jack seemed like he wanted to stay in the room that night, but then he changed his mind. I''m upset that he didn''t tell me, but glad at the same time. He let me have our last night there without the stress. "He didn''t tell me."


    "I guess he wanted to keep you in honeymoon mode until the last second. Speaking of which, how was it? Amazing sex all week? Do you have sand in horrible places now?" She waggles her eyebrows at me.


    Glancing at her, I squeal, "I can''t believe you asked me that!"


    "Of course you can. Now spill. How was he?" Kate leans toward me on the armrest and stares at the side of my face.


    "I don''t - "


    "You don''t what? You can''t say you don''t have sex anymore, because I know you do. You have that glowing, I-just-got-fucked-like-crazy look about you. So, is he rough? Does he do weird things with paintbrushes?" Now she''s just trying to get to me.


    I start laughing and give her little bits and pieces. "I never thought this would be my life. I mean, I can''t believe Jack is mine."


    I pull up in front of our old apartment in Port Jeff. It looks exactly the same. God, I love it here. Before we get out of the car, Kate grabs my wrist. I look up at her. "Listen," she says, tucking her hair behind her ear, "I was talking to Gus about this before you came back. He''s really worried about Jack. If he didn''t have you, Gus wasn''t sure what''d he''d do."


    "What do you mean?"


    "Come on Abby, think about it. Jack''s an idealist, like you. What happens when the ideal shatters? What happens then?"


    "I don''t know." That''s where I am, floating along without purpose. Right now Jack is my anchor and I''m glad I have him, but I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life. What does that mean for Jack? His art is tied to his soul. It''s part of his identity. What will happen if someone tears that away from him?


    "I can''t say that what you did today wasn''t noble - it was. I know you want to protect him, but sometimes you can''t. You got lucky with Emily. There''s no way around this mess. It''s going to hit hard and fast."


    "Bring it," I say. "I''ll fight for Jack, no matter what. My life is a mess, Kate. He''s the only thing I have left that means anything anymore. I can tell he hasn''t forgiven himself for coming onto me that night."


    "What are you talking about?" Kate turns in her seat and looks at me.


    "There was a lot of tension between us. He kept touching me, kissing my cheek. The night he said he loved me and that he could never have me, I nearly died. I thought he was a horrible flirt all those years. I had no idea, Kate - none. And now that we''re together, he''s punishing himself for loving me." I bury my face in my hands. "We''re so messed up. Both of us. I''m trying to save him and he''s trying to save me."


    "I didn''t know that," Kate says tapping her nails together. She flicks a glance at me out of the corner of her eye. "What happened those times he kissed you? Was it brotherly? Did you kiss him back?"


    "Nothing happened. It was like that moment before a kiss, where you feel drawn to the person. A few times, he broke the tension by kissing my face. But that last night, without that confession, I would have never come on to him. He blames himself. I see it in his eyes. All this Brimstone crap is making him think that he was right, that he shouldn''t have told me."


    Kate watches me as I speak. She asks, plainly, "And what do you think? Was it a mistake?"


    "No," I say with utter conviction. "Jack always held my heart. He didn''t destroy me. If anything he held me together when I was falling apart... while I''m still falling apart. He sees that, doesn''t he?"


    "I think everyone sees that, babe. You have scars that are festering. You need to lose those feelings and get your head screwed back on straight. Jack has got to be blaming himself. If I was in his shoes, I''d feel that way, too. No wonder why he was acting like he had crazy-ass PMS today." Her eyebrows stretch up her face as she inhales. Kate looks me in the eye like she wants to say something else, but she doesn''t.


    When we walk up to her front porch, I hear a guy knocking a few doors down. The door he''s standing in front of creaks open and he says, "I''m looking for Abigail Tyndale. Does she live here?"


    Kate bristles. She practically shoves me inside, but I grab onto the jamb and hang my head out. "Jackson?" I ask.


    The man turns and looks at me. It is him. Jackson has a narrow face with a cute little nose. He is wearing wire glasses and from the looks of it, a suit. It takes him a moment to recognize me since I''m struggling with Kate and only my head is hanging outside.


    "Yes," he says uncertainly. "Abby? Is that you?"


    I slap Kate away and walk outside to meet him. "What are you doing here?"


    Pushing his glasses up his nose, Jackson glances past me at Kate, who has her arms folded over her chest and a pissed off expression on her face. She''s leaning against the doorframe. "I was in New York on vacation and thought I''d look you up. I saw on the news a few weeks ago that you married a local artist."


    "I did. I married Jack Gray."


    Kate clears her throat and steps toward us with a sharp look in her eye. Thrusting her hand forward, she says, "I''m Kate, her best friend. Who are you? And how''d you know she was living here?"


    "Kate!" She''s so rude. I don''t know why she''s acting this way, but I can tell she doesn''t like him. "Be nice! This is Jackson Wright. He went to college with me. We had several classes together. He graduated a year ahead of me. He''s not paparazzi, calm down."


    Jackson shakes her hand and I know Kate squeezed his too hard. The stern expression remains on her face. "Well, Abby and I were about to have a chat, so - "


    I make a face at Kate and she makes one back. "Jackson, it''s great to see you." I take a card from my purse and scribble my cell number on it. "Call me tomorrow and we can catch up."


    Jackson takes the card and looks at it. Grasping the paper between his fingers, he smiles and nods at me. "I will. Have a good night. It was nice to meet you, Kate."


    "Yeah, whatever," she says, and turns to go inside.


    My eyes are bugging out of my head when she closes the door. "Are you insane? That was a friend! Why are you being so nasty?"


    Kate looks at me like I''m a moron. "Something''s not right. Why is he looking for you now? Why three doors down? No one knew you lived here."


    "The press figured it out before I was married, so why couldn''t he?" I''m trying not to yell, but she''s making me crazy. Kate always acts like she knows more than me and I can''t stand it anymore. I''m right, about this - about Jackson showing up now - I''m right. He probably doesn''t even know what''s going on.


    "Gut reaction, Abby. That guy is bad news."


    "Well, take a Pepto and get over it. I refuse to believe that every person from the past ten years of my life is corrupt."


    "I didn''t say that, I just said that something''s not right." She looks at me like I should be agreeing with her, but I''m not. I won''t. My arms are folded tightly over my chest and I''m glaring at her. Kate sighs dramatically and throws her arms up in the air. "Who tracks down a married woman? Not a man. Not a man with good intentions. Who the fuck does that, Abby?"


    "He''s a good guy, Kate." There''s a warning tone in my voice, but she doesn''t back down.


    Rolling her eyes, Kate says, "He''s a man. You''re a woman. Remember, you screwed Jack before you were married. People make vows. Sometimes they break them."


    My spine stiffens. Eyes wide, I stare at her like she slapped my face. There was nothing worse she could have said to me. That comment hit me twice, once slamming how my relationship with Jack started and again by pointing out that I broke my vows, a promise that I was supposed to keep, forever. It is something that keeps playing through my mind at night. Not just being a failure, but that my word was worthless. It meant nothing. It didn''t matter what I promised, because I broke the biggest promise that I ever made. It wasn''t just a promise to myself or to the church, but to God. It meant I''d chosen my life and set it in stone. But that''s broken now. Everything''s broken. The fracture lies deep within my heart, and I have no idea how to mend it.


    I stare at Kate. A million words fill my mouth but none of them are right. I can''t say a damn thing. I have no idea what expression is on my face, but suddenly her hackles drop. She lifts her hand, sensing that she''s gone too far. I don''t give her the chance. Pressing my lips together, I turn on my heel and walk out the door, slamming it behind me. Before Kate reaches the porch, I''m in the car and down the street.


    Everything is changing. I wonder if I really know anyone anymore, myself included.

 Page 9

    Chapter 17


    ABBYAdvertisement


    When I get back to the studio - I mean, my new home - I have to stop thinking of it like that - it''s past dinnertime. Leaving Kate''s put me smack dab in the middle of rush hour traffic. It took me two hours to get here. I walk into the little cottage and sit on the bed. I want to lie down for a while and forget about everything. Actually, I want to hide. I have no idea when my confession will hit the news, but I know it will bother Jack. I don''t want to fight with him, but I had to do it. He''d do the same for me. I grip my head in my hands and feel my insides churn with dread. I roll onto my side. I can''t help it. I''ll protect Jack as much as I can, but I feel like we''re drifting apart. It''s like there''s this huge chasm between us and I don''t know how to cross it. I''m isolated, but it''s my own damn fault. And Jack - oh God, if I tell him what I''m going through, he''s going to blame himself. It doesn''t matter that it''s not his fault. It doesn''t matter that this would have happened to me anyway.


    Kate''s right. I''m an idealist and when that image of my life shattered, Jack was there to cling on to. I couldn''t have asked for more, and yet, something''s not right. I wish I could wave a hand and both of us could be ten years younger. I wish I''d had the guts to just kiss him back when we were eighteen.


    Living in the past won''t help your life in the present, Abby. Stop it. That voice in the back of my head seems smarter than me most of the time. I sit up and rub my eyes with the back of my hand. Instead of wishing things better, I have to make them better. I can start there. It''s something tangible.


    I pull off my shoes and wonder where Jack is. I didn''t see him when I walked inside, but I went around the back of the property, down by the shore and up to the cottage. The sound of the waves and the salty sea spray makes me feel better.


    He must be in the studio. I decide to go find him. When I see Jack, he''s standing on a ladder with a paintbrush in his hand. He''s shirtless, wearing a pair of jeans that cling to him perfectly with paint splatters on the legs. Jack leans in and touches up an older piece he''s been working on. Everything is in muted tones of gray, showcasing a woman''s face, eyes lowered, hair draped over her shoulder. It''s a somber piece, haunting.


    I walk toward him, making sure I make a little noise so I don''t startle him. I haven''t seen him work in a while. Part of me wants to sit down and watch him paint. Creating something from nothing has always amazed me. Jack can take an empty canvas and turn it into the most evocative, heart wrenching, provocative thing I''ve ever seen. He amazes me every time.


    "So," Jack says, his voice tense.


    "So," I reply, not certain if he knows what I had Gus do yet. My stomach twists as I get closer. Jack doesn''t turn and look down at me. He continues to paint, blending a section of skin. I stop at the bottom of his ladder. An insane urge hits me and I want to climb up it and kiss him. With my luck, I''d topple the two of us over, so I just stand there and look up at him.


    "It sounds like Kate and Gus are going to kill each other. Forcing them to work together on this project will make for plenty of uncomfortable situations." Jack continues to paint without looking down.


    "What do you mean?"


    "She didn''t say anything about it?" he asks over his shoulder, surprised.


    "No, but she didn''t sound like she was nuts about him, either. Actually, Kate seemed way out of sorts. A guy that I went to college with showed up looking for me, and we had words." I cross my arms over my chest, thinking about it. Her reaction seemed so weird. "Let''s just say that I won''t be talking to her for a while."


    Now Jack stops. He lifts the brush from the painting and turns to glance down at me. "What happened?"


    I shrug. "She said I was a...skank."


    "Seriously? That doesn''t sound like Kate." Jack watches me for a second.


    I shift my weight to my other leg. I can''t talk about this with him. I glance away. "She reminded me that people aren''t always as they appear, and she used me and you as an example. The preacher does the painter - that kind of thing. It didn''t go over well."


    "And you''re mad about it?" He''s looking at me like I''m insane. I wasn''t what I appeared. I was a floosy posing as a preacher. That hollow spot inside my chest has so much pressure on it that it feels like I''m being squeezed to death from the inside.


    "It''s not what she said, it''s the way she said it. It felt like a bitch-slap." Jack smiles at me like I''m crazy. "Forget it. You wouldn''t understand."


    He laughs at that. "Really? I wouldn''t understand what it''s like when my best friend is painfully blunt, right to my face? Gus is a carbon copy of Kate. No wonder why they hate each other." He pauses for a second and asks, "So, this guy, who is he?"


    "Just someone I met when I started college. My first week there, I got a flat. I was trying to change the tire and he came along and helped me. He was nice to me." I''m looking at the painting as I speak, but Jack''s eyes don''t stray from my face.


    "So, this was pre-vows, right? Was college Abby into guys or were they shunned later?" His tone is teasing, which makes me smile. I know what he''s asking - how much did I date before I jumped into the clergy boat?


    Smiling, flicking my eyes up to his, I say, "Just to be clear, Abby has always been into guys. There''s not another option for me. You make it sound like I was into girls... or goats."


    "That would have been interesting too. I couldn''t really complain, but I''m not sure if I like the idea of a guy that had the hots for you showing up and looking for you." He pauses and looks at the painting and then back at me. "So, I know you didn''t do everything, but did you do anything with him?"


    "Do you need someone to be jealous of?" I ask, folding my arms across my chest and grinning at him.


    "Maybe. It''ll make me feel manlier. A good shot of testosterone will make things a lot more intense." Jack is all bravado. The look on his face makes me laugh. I haven''t ever seen him jealous before.


    "Oh, yeah? What kind of things? I might have to come up with a really juicy story." I''m grinning at him. I half expect Jack to jump off the ladder by the look on his face, but he stays there, smiling down at me.


    "Oh, you know - sexy kinds of things." He winks at me and I feel the urge to giggle.


    Smiling hard, I swallow the laugh and say, "Sounds nice."


    "Oh, it''ll be anything but nice. ''Nice'' is not a word to describe sex. That''s a word for curtains and movies that you didn''t really like." Jack watches for my reaction.


    "Hmm...," I''m twisting my fingers in front of me, suddenly all girly, "Well, Jackson is nice. Does that make you feel better?"


    "Ah, why''d you tell me?" Jack winks and then smiles broadly. "And just when you were really getting me riled up."


    "I know. I have a poor sense of timing. Maybe later I''ll tell you about Jeremy." I wink at him and start to walk away, smiling to myself.


    "Abby!" I turn back to him, "I''m gonna get you for that." He says it while pointing a paintbrush at me.


    "I was hoping you would." I wink at him, before turning to skip away to find us some dinner.


    Chapter 18


    JACK


    After Abby leaves the room, Jack clings to the ladder and rests his head against the cold metal. She dated. Why this is news, he doesn''t know. Jack knew Abby had a life away from him. She was gone so long, it stood to reason that there were other guys, but he still didn''t like it. And with everything that''s going on, it seems like a strange time for a guy to show up, but maybe it''s nothing.


    If one of his ex-girlfriends from college showed up, Jack was sure that Abby would pitch a fit. The college version of Jack wasn''t that different from the high school edition. He was searching for something, always trying to fill the hole in his chest. For a long time, he refused to believe it was Abby. When he wasn''t in class or in the art building painting something, he was with a girl. Sometimes they did stuff, sometimes not. It took nearly five years to realize that Abby was the reason for that longing. When she walked in, Jack was angry. She''d left such a hole in his life, but Abby seemed unaffected. Now he knew that wasn''t true. It only took one look at her face to see that she was a broken version of the girl he had known. Instead of helping her heal, he had shattered her.


    "Fuck," he breathes, looking down at the floor far below. How could he do that to her?


    Jack doesn''t have time to think about it. His phone rings. Lifting it from his pocket, he swipes his finger across the screen, leaving a trail of gray paint. "Shit," he mumbles before pressing the speakerphone button. "What do you need, Gus?"


    "Hey, Jack. Sorry to bother you. I''m trying to hammer out the details, but I need to run some things by you."


    "Where the hell did you run off to? I needed to talk to you about something." Jack is irritated. He hasn''t said anything to Gus about Abby, but he has to talk to someone. Jack glances around, from his perch atop the ladder, making sure Abby isn''t in the room.


    Gus pauses. When he speaks, his voice is too high. "I had to take care of some things. You know how it is." There''s a pause before he asks, "Did you see the news?"


    "No. I''ve been working. What''s the matter now?"


    The tension in Gus''s voice fades as he speaks, "Oh, well, there were protesters at the Biloxi opening. But we knew that. The news covered it and did a little expose on you and Abby. THE AWAKENING was roped off and we set guards by it to make sure nothing would happen. The added security is coming out of our pocket, by the way. The museum isn''t being particularly cooperative."


    "As expected. What about Brimstone? Did you get anywhere with that?" The line goes silent. "Gus?"


    "Let me do a little bit more digging. I know they''re in the group and that they are pushing the locals up here to picket the studio. So far, they haven''t gotten a foothold up here. It''s easier down south. They think you''re morally objectionable, to start with. Brimstone needs that up here before they can start anything. That''s probably why it''s still quiet. The town respects you and Abby. I don''t think the locals will act out against you. If they do something, they''ll have to import the crazies from somewhere else."


    "Buses," Jack says, staring at the canvas.


    "Yeah, from more conservative places. The guy sucks. He takes people who mean well, who honestly want to make a difference, and then twists them. I understand wanting things better, I really do, but the rage that''s directed at you is so misplaced. If they want to change things, well, we''ve had this conversation before."


    "Yeah," Jack replies. We have. Many times. "This isn''t about change. It''s about blame. They need someone to blame and I''m an easy target."


    "I''m sorry, Jack. I don''t know how to - " Gus suddenly stops speaking.


    "What was that? You don''t know how to, what?" Jack stares at the phone. There was no static, no indication that the call was dropped. Gus just bit off his words. Fuck. If Gus is keeping things from him, he''s screwed. "Gus, man, if you''re keeping something from me - "


    "I took a bullet for you back during that whole scandal last year. Remember? You thought I pled out. But, I told them that the girls were full of shit and they tossed my ass in a holding cell for forty-eight hours. It sucked, man. There were hairy villains in there, and super wasted rich guys that fell off their yachts. But seriously, I''ve got your back Jack. I always have no matter what shit looks like."


    Jack presses his fingers to his face. "What''d you do? If someone''s going to attack me, if they - "


    "No one is going to come after you, okay? Go chill out for a while and spend time with your new wife."


    Jack knows something is going on, but doesn''t press it. His mind drifts to Abby. "That''s what I wanted to talk to you about - Abby."


    Gus''s tone changes. "Is everything all right? You guys seem happy together."


    "We are, it''s just that..." Jack sighs. His eyes flick toward the door, making sure Abby won''t hear. "I think I made a mistake. I shouldn''t have married her." Jack''s voice barely comes out. "I shouldn''t have hired her. I ruined her life, Gus."


    Gus''s tone is sharp. It sounds like Jack''s being scolded. "Cut this shit out, Gray. That girl loves you. If you want her life to be better, then fix it. You can''t change the past, so stop trying." Gus sputters for a few minutes and then coherency returns, "I can''t believe you. Abby''s the girl that got away, the one you were pining over since I met you. Somehow she falls right into your lap and you have the audacity to say that you should have tossed her ass out the door! I can''t believe you. How could you say something like that?"


    "Because," Jack says, his voice soft, "every time I look at her, I see the pain in her eyes. There''s another part to Abby, and I''ve taken it away."


    "That''s bullshit, Jack, and you know it. If you feel like you fucked up her life, you need to talk to her. Abby''s the only one who can tell you that. Don''t go by what you see in her eyes, fucking ask her. She''s your wife, she''s the girl you wanted all those years, the one you couldn''t live without. I swear to God, if you mess this up - "


    Jack glances down at his phone and hits END CALL, cutting Gus off midsentence. Regret fills his soul. Regret for everything. Everything Jack touches turns to ash. Abby is no exception. Gus doesn''t see it-not yet-but he will.


    Jack lifts the brush and starts smoothing the paint again. His eyes trace over the bare flesh, but all he sees is a curving line with a fucked up gradation. Making the figure look life-like means getting the shading right.


    When he moved the ladder to this piece and started painting, Jack wasn''t sure why he chose to come back to this one. It was a piece that he had been making before Abby came along. Maybe it reminded him of who he was.

 Page 10

    Chapter 19


    ABBYAdvertisement


    About an hour later, I go back to the studio to get Jack for dinner. I set up something in the front rooms. There''s a kitchen in this building because it had originally been the main house. When Jack converted this building to the studio, he didn''t remove the kitchen. It''s nice.


    When I walk into the studio, Jack is still up on the ladder with a paintbrush in his hand. "Hey, hot stuff. Although I really like the stellar view of your ass, you have to come down and eat dinner with me."


    Jack laughs so hard he drops his brush. "Is my little angel cursing again?" His voice is light and teasing.


    I laugh, "Like I ever stopped. Besides, ass is a body part, not a curse word."


    "I think you''d die if you heard it come out of the mouth of a toddler."


    "Touche," I admit. "I''ll try to be less crass." I clear my throat and look up at him like he''s my Romeo. I press my hand to my heart and say, "Jack, oh Jack, you have such a dreamy derriere, but our dinner''s getting cold out there. Will you come down before the noodles get mushy? If you do, I promise to bite your tooshie."


    Jack looks at me shocked, and then nearly busts his side open laughing. He lets go of the ladder with one hand and turns around to face me, which makes me want to cover my eyes and scream.


    "Oh my God! Don''t fall!" The smile fades from my face and my hands fly up, like I''d try to catch him if he plummeted to the floor.


    Jack steadies himself and says, "Awh, you were going to catch me!" His teasing tone stops when he sees me shaking. My hands are tightly clutched. "I''m all right, Abby. I haven''t fallen off a ladder since we were in high school. And that one time was because I was watching you, so don''t do anything sexy - or make me laugh too hard."


    "Jack," I squeal, not wanting to look at him. The ladder seems so wobbly and he''s so high up. "Please come down."


    Jack comes down and drops his remaining brushes in the solvent before walking over to me. He cocks his head to the side and takes me by my arms and pulls me close. "Why, Mrs. Gray, are you afraid of heights?"


    "No, of course not. I''m just deathly afraid of ladders. Especially really tall ones with my new husband hanging off the top like a monkey in a tree." I shiver just thinking about it.


    Jack pulls me to his chest. "I won''t fall. I promise. Your little ditty just took me by surprise. I''m all right, Abby." He holds me close until my heart stops hammering like it''s trying to bust out of my body.


    He kisses my cheek and says, "I had no idea that heights spooked you so much. Why didn''t you say anything?"


    "I don''t know. It doesn''t really come up." I feel his arms around me and I take a deep breath. I know he''s fine, but the frightened feeling lingers.


    "Are there any other fears that I need to be aware of?" he asks kindly, kissing the top of my head.


    "I don''t like bridges."


    "And by that you mean...?" Jack glances down at me.


    "I mean I hate bridges and have a panic attack when I''m forced to drive over one. I''m afraid the car will crash and go over the rail." I shiver saying it, thinking about the car filling with water and being trapped inside.


    Jack smooths his hands over my arms, chasing the feeling away. "When did that happen?"


    "I don''t know." I shrug and look up at him. "It''s always been there to some extent."


    "We live on an island. How did I not notice?"


    "If you''re sitting next to a tense, non-chatty version of me, we''re probably on a bridge." I pause for a second and grin, teasing. "If I''m looking way up at you and shaking like a leaf, it''s probably got something to do with a ladder."


    "Anything else that frightens you?" He kisses my cheek and then gives me a little more room.


    "Just the normal kind of stuff; clowns, Tigger, demons that live in my closet."


    Jack doesn''t know what to say, so he laughs one short loud laugh. "Oh my God. You are all sorts of fucked up, aren''t you?"


    I nod and smile. "And what frightens you, big sexy man? Spiders? Unicorns?"


    Jack snorts, but then he gets a far-off look in his eye like he knows exactly what terrifies him the most. When he looks down at me, he says, "Any man should have serious concerns about an animal with a huge phallic symbol on its head. You stay away from unicorns, you hear me?" I smile and Jack tickles me, driving away the rest of my irrational fears.


    Chapter 20


    ABBY


    Later that night, as we get ready for bed in the cottage, Jack asks me, "So, this Jeremy guy - "


    I''m putting on a piece of lingerie I found at a cute shop in the village. It was easy to see what it looked like in the store, but now I''m having trouble getting into it. Jack thinks I''m brushing my teeth. "He was my boyfriend, freshman year of college."


    Jack''s voice carries through the door. "And...?" he prompts.


    "And nothing. We dated for a little while, but he didn''t get into my panties, if that''s what you''re asking, Mr. Gray. We parted ways."


    "So, I''m the only guy who''s gotten into those panties?" he asks. There''s a hopeful wistfulness to his voice.


    I step into the room and Jack''s jaw drops. His eyes slip over my body, drinking me in like he can''t get enough. The piece of lingerie is nothing but shiny, strategically draped, red strings. It gives the illusion of concealment, but he can see right through it. It''s shaped like a bodysuit and dips between my legs, but again, that''s only for show. I''m wearing red-lace topped thigh-highs and fuck-me-heels. I found something else in the shop that I thought he''d like, too. I put it on under the stringy piece of lingerie. It becomes more visible when I move.


    Jack''s gaze fixates on my breasts, on the sparkling silver chain that connects to each nipple. Jack''s eyes darken as he stares, unblinking. As I sashay toward him, I make sure that I sway my hips so that all the little strings sway and move with me. It mesmerizes Jack, and he doesn''t speak. His lips are parted and if his chest wasn''t moving up and down, I''d be worried.


    "You''re the only guy who''s been in my panties, Mr. Gray. And you''re the scoundrel that made me realize that I love being with you."


    Jack laughs. "Scoundrel? What century are we in?" His entire face lights up, but his eyes can''t part with my body.


    I stop and throw out my hip, tapping my finger to my lips. I raise a brow at him. "What should I call you, then? Before you, I didn''t think I''d like this so much. But you, you made me realize that it''s so much more. Scoundrel seemed suiting."


    "Maybe, if we were in eighteenth century Vienna. I think the modern term is ''sex god.'' You know, someone so hot that they can''t be resisted. Someone like me. Someone like you..."


    I laugh at the thought. "You think I''m a sex goddess?"


    "No, I know you''re a sex goddess. You were going to tell me what else you liked before I rudely cut you off. And if you don''t start walking toward me again, I may have to jump out of bed and come over there." Jack smiles wickedly at me.


    I point at him and say, "Stay, you bad, bad man." Grinning hard, I start my slow walk again, finishing my derailed thought from earlier. "I like the way you look at me. I like the way these clothes make me feel, and I love the way it feels when you''re inside of me."


    Before Jack and I were together, I thought sex was just urges. It sounds stupid now, but I didn''t know any better. The thought of being a slave to my own body made me feel like an animal, in a derogatory kind of way. Now I realize that it''s just a part of who I am, and Jack is the perfect mate for me. He makes me feel so loved, that I can''t think of anything else when I''m with him. Tonight, that''s what I want. I want to chase away his demons, and mine, and just be together.


    Jack''s lips slip shut as his gaze lifts to my face. He''s shirtless, wearing nothing but boxers below the sheet. A bit of dark stubble lines his cheeks, making those blue eyes as vivid as sapphires. When he speaks, Jack''s voice wraps around me like velvet. "I want you so badly, Mrs. Gray. I''m torn between jumping up and grabbing you, bending over the bed, and fucking you madly; and just watching you walk toward me in that incredible lingerie. That outfit is such a tease." Breathing hard, Jack pushes himself up in the bed. Looking at his lap, I can tell how much he wants me. "Turn around. Let me see the back."


    I smile at him and twist. The upper shoulders have draped strings that curve halfway down my back. From my waist to the small of my back, there''s nothing but bare skin. Then the panties on this are killer. They have no bottom really. They''re made from eight strings that attach at the waist. They cup my butt, showing off my curves, and attach to a silver clip at my waist.


    Glancing over my shoulder at Jack, I say, "What do you think?" My ankles are crossed. I bend forward slightly, knowing that Jack''s a tits and ass man. "Is it nice?"


    The word seems to bring Jack back to himself. He climbs across the bed toward me, and pulls me to him. I gasp, not expecting it. My back presses into his chest. His hard length feels rigid against my back. His hands run over the outfit, feeling the silky strands and my warm skin. His fingers catch on the silver chain and it tugs gently, coaxing a soft moan from my lips. Jack''s strong arm wraps across my chest, just above my breasts.


    Holding me, he whispers in my ear, "It''s not nice, it''s wicked. It''s the sexiest thing I''ve ever seen. It makes me want you in every conceivable way."


    My heart is pounding hard. Jack''s muscular arms are corded tightly around me. One hand slips higher and presses gently against my throat. If someone else did that to me, I''d be afraid, but with Jack, it feels right. It feels like I''m his and he wants to possess me. I turn my face away from him, and his lips trail hot kisses down my neck. When I inhale, he holds me closer, tightening his hold on me.


    Looking away from him, heart pounding wildly in my chest, I whisper, "I want to make you come in every conceivable way."


    "Oh God, Abby." His voice is gravelly, like he can''t control himself. He keeps one hand at my throat as the other slides over my body, feeling the fabric and flesh. His warm breath slips over my neck and my body reacts to him. Jack''s scent, his smell, fills my head and I want to make him so high from lust that he forgets everything else. My senses are slipping. I feel the hot lust bubbling up from deep inside me. My intention had been that this would be for him, but I''m having trouble controlling myself.


    We stand together, with his strong arms holding me in place as his lips devour my neck. My knees weaken, but Jack doesn''t let me go. His arms tighten against my chest and around my waist. My heart is thundering inside my chest. Every inch of my skin is sensitive beyond reason. When he touches me with his lips, I can barely stand it. Jack holds me there, keeping me tightly pressed against him.


    I lean back and Jack''s hips shift. I feel his hard shaft through his boxers, pressing into my thigh. Leaning my head back, I moan his name.


    Jack turns me toward him, and says, "Kneel." His bedroom voice is deep and rich. It sends lusty tendrils through my body. I fall to my knees, which puts his waist directly in front of me. Desire coils within me, tightening in my lower body. I stare at the boxers, wishing they weren''t there. Jack steps away and when he returns, the shorts are gone. Jack''s naked body lingers less than an inch from my face, and his beautiful, long hard shaft is even closer. I lick my lips, waiting for him to tell me what he wants. Breathing hard, I reach for him, but Jack doesn''t let me. "No, Abby. Let me."


    I glance up at him and take a deep breath. I want to feel his hot, soft skin on my lips. I want to taste his come. As I think about it, the place between my legs gets damp. Shifting my weight, I move my knees apart. Jack watches me before rubbing himself across my cheek. The skin is so smooth and Jack is so hard. I suck in a jagged breath, trying to be still. I repress every urge to turn my face and take him in my mouth. Jack repeats the movement on the other side of my face. As he moves the tip of his long, hard length across my cheek, I feel like I''m going to lose it. The place between my legs is throbbing gently and filling with damp heat. That one movement is such a tease, such a turn-on. I breathe hard and look up at Jack. He repeats the motion and I can barely stand it.


    Every inch of me is filled with desire. I want him. I need to taste him. I plead, "Jack, please."


    "Please, what?"


    "Please let me suck you, let me taste you in my mouth. Please." I feel no shame in telling him what I want. Jack brushes the tip of his length over my lips and I tremble, wanting him so badly. My eyes are fixated on him, my mouth watering, thinking about how I''ll kiss him when he lets me. Every touch he gives me makes me that much more aroused. I shift my knees again, trying to get closer to him.


    Without saying anything, Jack tangles his fingers in my hair. "I love it when you do this," he breathes. Excitement courses through me. A rush of pleasure will be mine any moment. I watch as Jack moves his beautiful dick to my lips and pushes into my mouth.


    He''s so firm and hot. Pleasure fills me, pulsing gently between my legs. His length fills my mouth and I begin to suck. My tongue slides along him, wanting more of him in my mouth. My hands grip his butt and I try to coax more of him in, but Jack holds back. He taunts me, pushing half-way in and then pulling out. I suck and lick, wanting more, wanting him. My body throbs and my nipples ache for his touch. I''d feel so much better if I could swallow him. I wonder if I can. He''s so long, so thick. My fingers find his shaft and I guide him in deeper. Jack watches me as I do it, his mouth open in a little O, watching his dick slide in and out of my mouth. He shudders when he pulls out this time and I know he''s close to coming.


    When he pulls away, I breathe, "Come for me, Jack. I want to taste you." He shakes his head, like he has no intention of doing it, but I don''t give him the choice. I suck harder and draw him back into my mouth. My hands grip his ass and I thrust his hips toward me. His shaft hits the back of my throat and I inhale, taking him entirely into my mouth. My tongue strokes him as I suck. When he''s about to lose it, I do it again.


    Jack moans. His fingers tangle in my hair, clutching my head. I guide him in and out, sucking and licking him as I take him all in. My face presses against the soft skin at the base of his shaft and I kiss it. Jack''s composure cracks. He rocks his hips, pulling and thrusting into my mouth. My breasts shake as he does it, tugging the nipple chain. I moan, and find I''m frantically clutching his ass, begging for more. Jack doesn''t stop. He pushes harder and faster until he comes in my mouth. When that salty sweet treat hits my tongue, I feel the warm fluid fill my mouth and I swallow every last drop. Jack''s ragged breaths become more noticeable as I gently lick him, milking every last drop from him. When I''m done, I look up at him and smile.


    Jack pulls me into his arms and we fall back onto the bed. Pushing up on my side, I look down at him. "I love doing that."


    Jack smiles at me. His chest rises and falls fast and he looks over at me. "I love when you do that."


    I lean close to his ear. "No, I mean I really like doing that." I take his hand and guide it between my legs.


    "Oh my God, you''re wet." Turning toward me, Jack smiles. "Did you come?"


    My eyes are locked with his. I avert my gaze and smile, coyly. "Maybe, a little bit." Before I can say anything else, Jack pulls me down to his mouth. He kisses me until my brains melt. For the rest of the night, Jack loves me until I''m completely spent and we fall into a blissful slumber.

 Page 11

    Chapter 21


    ABBYAdvertisement


    Sunlight pours through the white curtains. I rub the sleep from my eyes and roll over looking for Jack. His space is empty and the sheets are cool. I pinch the bridge of my nose, hoping that he hasn''t seen the news. I shower and dress, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and go to find him.


    Jack is in the studio mixing paint, trying to get the exact color that he wants. From the look of it, his next work is going to be all shades of vivid violet.


    I walk up behind him and slide my hand across his back. Jack is bent over a large vat of paint, pouring in more white. I kiss his cheek. "Good morning, lover."


    He stops what he''s doing and straightens, wiping his hands off on his jeans before grabbing my face and pulling it to his. Startled, I go in for the kiss and fumble it, kind of just smooshing my lips against his like I fell.


    He laughs and says, "First, I want to tell you that last night, was - there are no words for last night. I''ll be looking forward to dinner a lot more from now on." I smile at him. There''s tension in his smile. The floor of my stomach sinks. He knows.


    "And, you know, don''t you?" I ask, looking at his hands like they''re really interesting. My fingers intertwine as I say it.


    Jack looks from my hands to my face. His voice is soft, remorseful. "Yeah, I know. I woke up early and while I was having a cup of coffee, I turned on the news and saw a picture of my wife with a voice over telling the press that she wasn''t a virgin when she got married."


    "And then what?" I ask, hedging.


    "And then I laughed like this couldn''t possibly be happening, that my sweet wife couldn''t possibly know about this. Then they say the information is from a confirmed source, and guess who that source was?"


    "Gus." I look down at my hands, twisting them. My heart is pounding, but in a bad way. I didn''t want to hurt Jack more by not telling him, but I had to do what I did. I wanted him out of the limelight. I can take someone saying nasty things about me, but Jack can''t. We''re wired differently, I guess. Either way, this was something I could do to deflect the arrows thrown at him, so I did it.


    Jack seems like he''s losing his composure. His shoulders are rigid and he keeps working his jaw. His eyes are just a little too big when he looks at me, like he''s really mad. "Right, Gus. And can you imagine how insane I felt? My best friend leaked this shit to the press. So while I''m screaming at him, I find out what really happened, that it wasn''t him at all. It was my wife who orchestrated the whole thing, but she''s still asleep because I made love to her all night and she''s probably too sore to walk." Jack''s voice gets higher and higher as he speaks. His eyes lock with mine, pleading, begging for an explanation.


    Placing my hand on his forearm, I say, "I should have told you."


    He flinches, like I''ve struck him, and shirks me off. "Yes! Yes, you should have told me! How could you not tell me?"


    "How could you not tell me that you knew about the Brimstone group before we got home?" My voice is level, even. I''m not mad. I''m pointing it out to prove a point. Jack blinks at me and then sighs, shaking his head. "I wanted to protect you, to give you what I could. I know this is tearing you up inside, Jack."


    "Abby, that wasn''t the same. Not telling you didn''t change anything. That group is there conspiring against me no matter what."


    "Yes, it''s exactly the same. Not telling me made you go through it alone. No wonder why you were so tense that night. You should have told me." Sadness tugs at my throat. I wish he''d confide in me, but he holds back.


    Anger flashes in his eyes. "You should have told me! Do you have any idea what you''ve done? This is like throwing a match into a room filled with gas. It''s not a question of whether or not it''ll explode, it''s a question of how big the explosion will be. I can''t protect you from this, Abby. Fuck, I don''t even know what to expect." His hands pull at his hair as he turns away and he paces as he speaks. When he turns back to me, the expression in his eyes makes me want to cry.


    My voice is gentle. I step toward him. "I know what''s going to happen. You don''t have to shield me, Jack. I''m okay with the choices I''ve made. The result ended with you and me together. That''s all that matters."


    "What are you going to say when they ask why you ignored your vows? What are you going to say when they ask if you thought twice before sleeping with me? Damn it, Abby, this whole fucking mess is my fault. You weren''t mine, and I took you anyway!" He''s yelling. Jack turns and kicks one of the cans of paint. It makes a weird sound, but it doesn''t spill. I''ve never heard him so angry about me breaking my vows. He doesn''t even know what they were. Everyone assumes everything. I took vows, and made promises to be celibate and serve. I promised these things, and I threw them away. Maybe it looks like it was a whim to Jack, but it wasn''t. Turning away from me, Jack storms toward the backdoor.


    "Wait. Jack, wait!" I run after him and grab his arm. "Stop, damn it! Listen to me! You have this notion that I was beyond reproach, and the truth is that I screwed up just like everyone else. I''m not a fucking angel! You didn''t snap the wings off my back. I struggle with the same problems everyone else has. I make the same mistakes everyone else does. I wanted you when I couldn''t have you. Years of falling asleep thinking about you, and then leaning in for that kiss, made me do it. And I don''t regret it. If I pay for that later, then so be it, but I won''t have you blame yourself."


    All the anger seems to flow out of him as I speak. When he talks, his voice sounds so strained, so defeated. "I just want the world to see you how I see you."


    "Jack, I''m like everyone else."


    "No, you''re not. Not to me, not ever. Not ever, Abby. I''d do anything for you, give anything to save you from this, but I can''t. It''s already been done." Jack seems so miserable, like he has no idea what to do since he can''t shield me from this.


    There''s a little curl by his ear. I reach for it and tuck it back. Looking into his eyes, I say, "You wouldn''t have let me do it if I told you, just like I wouldn''t let you do anything now. This won''t destroy me. I don''t care what they say. They can talk all they like, it doesn''t change who I am."


    Jack takes my hands and looks at me. "You are always so certain of things. What makes you think you can endure this?"


    "Because I have you."


    I pull him to me and hold him tight. Jack does the same. We stay like that for a moment, knowing the world is about to cave in on us.


    Gazing into my eyes, Jack says, "You inspire me beyond words. You''re strong, you''re brave, and you''re utterly selfless. You''re like a warrior with a cute button nose. That''s what''s so amazing about you. You live and love like you''re not afraid. It makes me crazy sometimes, but it''s so admirable that it''s jaw dropping." He presses his lips against mine. I don''t get a chance to deflect his compliment. I do the best I can, and often, I feel like I fall short, but his praises make me beam.


    Jack''s kiss starts light, but becomes more intense. His tongue sweeps the inside of my mouth as his hands tangle in my hair. It reminds me of last night and I kiss him harder, feeling my body flush at his touch.


    "Ah-hum," Gus is standing in the doorway. "So, I take it you told her?"


    Chapter 22


    JACK


    Looking up at Jack, Abby asks, "Told me what?"


    She''s amazing. He can''t stop looking at her, thinking about how insanely wonderful she is. Abby took a bullet for him. Jack didn''t know how he was going to endure all the shit that Brimstone would throw at him, and then without a word, Abby stepped in front. Her statement will make them shift their focus to her. She knows what she''s done. At first, Jack was afraid that she didn''t, but after talking to her, it''s clear that she knew exactly what she was doing. There''s no regret on her face. They''ll rip her to shreds instead of him. Guilt keeps trying to get a hold of him, but he''s starting think it shouldn''t be there. This was a gift. Abby gave it to him. She''s so certain that it was right, so certain that she can take whatever they throw at her, but the stuff with Dick had her in tears. Jack needs to talk to her about Texas, about what she wants to do now. They''d put it off for too long.


    With Gus watching from the doorway, Jack knows that he''s in for a little scuffle. Gus has been pestering him about his next painting. Jack knows exactly what he wants, he just has to get Abby on board.


    He takes Abby''s hand and leads her over to the vats of paint. "I have an idea for a new painting. I want you to be the model. It''s going to purple and yellow or red. I haven''t decided." Excitement fills his voice. Abby is smiling at him, glancing at the huge tubs of purple.


    Gus speaks up and says, "I tried to talk him into painting another model, but he won''t have it. There are already claims on his next full color piece. It will be taken to the last stop on the tour of Jack''s work and be presented then. It''ll be public."


    Abby glances at Jack. "What were you wanting to do?"


    His eyes hold hers, hoping. "Something a little different. In the other painting of you, well, everything is concealed. In this one, it won''t be. That''s the main issue. I wasn''t sure if you''d want to do it, if you should do it with everything that''s going on. Gus has been pushing for a model, but I want this painting to be of you." Jack watches her, practically holding his breath. Gus is staring, too.


    "You two already discussed this?" Abby asks, glancing at Jack and then Gus.


    Jack nods. "Gus arranged for the next color piece a while ago, after THE AWAKENING was added to my private collection. People wanted more color pieces and I agreed to make one. When Gus asked who I was going to use as the model, I said you." Jack looks down at her. He''s pulled in two different directions. The painting would be beyond perfection if Abby were the model.


    "It wasn''t a discussion, Abby. It was an argument. I tried to dissuade him. I still have no idea what he has planned. I just need to know if you''ll do it or not so I can determine if we need to hire a model." Gus slips his hands into his pockets and waits.


    "Jack..." she starts to say, uncertainty in her voice.


    But he takes her hands, "Abby, please. Let me show you what it''ll be. If you don''t want it public, I''ll use a model and make it again. This is a turning point. I feel it. I want to share this with you. If we add another painting to our collection, I''m okay with that."


    "I''m not," Gus says, straightening. "You have deadlines, Jack. You can''t blow them off."


    Jack glances at him. "I''m not. This is something new. Forcing it will make it suck. How many times do I have to tell you that? I need to feel it. Just painting anyone doesn''t work. You know this, Gus." Jack stares at his friend and shakes his head. Gus opens his mouth to speak, but Abby steps between them.


    "I''ll be your model, Jack." She''s looking up at him like she can''t believe she said it.


    "Really?" he asks, astounded.


    "Yes. I want to be part of your life." She smiles crookedly at him and shrugs a shoulder. "Besides, it''s art. It''s not like you''d get jealous if another guy saw me naked."


    Gus lets out a high-pitched laugh, "Yeah, you guys figure it out on your own. I don''t think I need to hear this part." He ducks out the door, grinning.


    Jack feels the mischievous smile lace across his lips. His eyes burn into Abby''s. She has the smart, sexy smirk on her face. It makes him completely crazy. He steps toward her and pulls her to him, yanking her waist hard. "Is that a confession, Mrs. Gray?"


    Her eyes glitter with mirth. "Take it how you want to, Mr. Gray."


    "Like I''m going to let you leave it at that." Jack grins before scooping Abby up in his arms. He swings her around in the air, letting her scream wildly. She alternates between trying to get herself free and holding on like she''s going to fall.


    "Say the name, Abby. Who else saw you naked?" When she doesn''t answer, he tickles and spins faster.


    Her hair is a streak of red, and her laughter fills the air. "Ahhh! I''m going to pee! Jack, stop!"


    Breathless he looks down at the woman in his arms. Her face is bright red and she''s still laughing. "Are you going to fork over that name now?"


    "Are you planning on telling me every girl you saw naked?" she asks coyly.


    "That wasn''t an answer, Mrs. Gray." Jack takes off running, with Abby in his arms. He pushes through the back doors and runs toward the water.


    "What are you doing? Ahhh!" Abby screams, clinging to him as Jack bounces down the beach toward the surf.


    "Tossing you in," he replies, laughing.


    "Let me go!" Abby digs her nails into his neck, like she intends to hold on. She kicks her feet wilding, but Jack just laughs more.


    "Do it harder, baby. That just turns me on."


    She laughs just as they reach the water. The cold wet sand clings to Jack''s feet. It''s cooler today than it has been. Breathing hard, Jack asks one last time. "A name please. Give me the name of the other man who has seen my sweet bride naked." Sucking in air, he looks down at her in his arms.


    "You think there''s just one?" She giggles with that sexy smirk on her face. "I can make you a list."


    "You are so going in." Jack wants to drop her on the sand and make love to her until she screams his name. Instead, he steps into the water, wading in past the shallows and gets ready to throw her. "''I can make you a list,''" he mocks.


    Jack swings her once. "Don''t you dare," Abby warns, still thinking he won''t do it. Then Jack swings her twice. "Jack," she says, her voice cracking this time. On the third swing, the time he intends to toss her, Abby cries out, "It was Jonathan Gray! He''s this really sexy artist. I slept with him, Jack." She laughs hysterically. "He was the best I ever had."


    "Good to know, but you''re still going in."


    "What?" she shrieks as Jack tosses her. Abby tries to cling to Jack, but he''s too strong. She lifts from his arms and hits a wave. When she comes up, she''s sputtering water and dripping like a wet dog.


    "You are so going to pay for that!" She rushes toward Jack and jumps on him. Jack gets knocked off-balance and they both fall into the water.


    When Jack comes up, they''re both soaking wet. He reaches for Abby, and pulls her against his chest. She jumps on him, wrapping her legs around his waist, and takes his face between her hands and presses her mouth to his. Every fantasy Jack ever had about this girl comes rushing back; the way he used to think about her swimming with him, wrapping her body around his in the water, feeling her bare skin on the hot beach. Jack''s body responds to the kiss, to Abby. The cold water isn''t enough to stop it. Nothing could ever stop how he feels about her.


    Breathing hard, Jack looks into her face, "You''ll be my model, really?"


    Abby nods. "I like being your muse, Jack." Her hair drips down her back and into her face.


    Jack asks, "How did I get so lucky?"


    "Oh, you''re about to get very lucky, Mr. Gray." She winks at Jack with a killer smile.

 Page 12

    Chapter 23


    ABBYAdvertisement


    When Jack asked me to be his model, I wanted to say yes, but I felt shy about other people seeing it. From the look on his face, I knew how much it meant to him. There''s something about the way Jack works that makes it too appealing to resist. Last time I was his model, it tempted me beyond comprehension. While other models were all lines and curves, shadow and light - I wasn''t.


    I walk over to Jack and look into the large tubs of paint. "That is a lot of paint. Why do you need so much?"


    He grins at me. "Because I have no idea how to do what I see in my mind. It has texture this time. I''m not sure if I want to use the paint or plaster to build up the texture." His glittering blue eyes return to the vat. He pours in more blue and mixes it by hand with a yardstick. The blue swirls in and disappears into the rich violet.


    "Won''t plaster crack?"


    Jack looks up at me. "Probably, but I..." Jack''s voice trails off as he gets a far-off look in his eyes. At the same time his mouth opens and I know he sees it. Jack grabs my hands and squeezes. "I know what I''m going to do. Go change."


    "What? Now?" I squeak. Gus is still around. So is the new office girl. He''s been showing her around. Linda didn''t want to come back after everything that happened last year. She said she was way too old for that kind of drama, and I couldn''t blame her.


    "Yes." Jack laughed. "I''ll shut the doors, Little Miss Prude."


    "I am not a prude. I just don''t want everyone watching, that''s all. It''s different." I stand there, stubbornly expressing that I''m right. My arms fold across my chest and I throw out my hip. Apparently I''m pouting a little bit, too, because when Jack walks over to me, I expect him to say something, but he doesn''t. He just waltzes right up to me and nips my lip. I gasp and step back, startled.


    "Prude''s the right word. It''s okay, Abby. I know you have a dirty streak when the time is right. It''s like I married a sexy librarian." Jack grins at me and turns back to the paint. He lifts a container of white and mixes it in.


    I want to huff more. My...I don''t know what...is wounded. I don''t really know how to react to being called not sexy and sexy in the same sentence. I finally say, "I don''t get it."


    "Get what?" Jack turns and looks at me. There''s a playful look in his eye. I swallow hard, thinking that I''m going to regret this.


    "The whole sexy thing."


    He laughs so hard that I have to look away. Jack realizes his mistake and rushes at me. He grabs my arms and turns me toward him. "I''m sorry. I didn''t expect that question, at all. It''s the kind of thing kids ask, the kind of insecurity high school girls have." My eyes drift from his and I shrug, feeling stupid. He takes my chin and forces me to meet his gaze. "You are sexy in a completely understated way, which is the best way. You''re beautiful, you''re confident, you know who you are. Add in that sense of humor and your bedroom brain and, oh my God, I couldn''t have dreamed up a sexier woman."


    My heart flutters as he says it. I must have a funny look on my face, like I don''t believe him, because he doesn''t stop. "This curve here," he says, dropping his hand down to my waist and sliding it over my hip, cupping my butt, "this one is my favorite. It''s full and soft. And this one right here," he continues, taking his finger and running it over my shoulder and down my chest. He presses lighting as he passes over my breast, grazing the tip of my nipple and continuing down to my waist. "This one is completely sinful. When you were wearing that red thing and the jewelry," Jack lets out a jagged breath, "I couldn''t take my eyes off of you. I love this part." He sweeps his fingers under my breasts, making my body react. Butterflies erupt inside of me. "Just talking about you like this makes me want to strip you and show you how sexy you are." He watches me for a moment and smiles. He takes a stray curl and tucks it behind my ear. "You have no idea what you do to me, how incredibly breathtaking you are." His eyes search mine. After a moment, he adds, "That''s what makes you so undeniably sexy. And you''re all mine."


    "Jack," I say, and bury my face in his shoulder as he hugs me. A million thoughts rush through my mind. He really thinks I''m beautiful.


    Jack pulls away and asks, "What about me? I''ve heard the ladies say that I have a nice ass." He turns and looks at it, which makes me giggle. "I don''t really see what all the fuss is about."


    I wrap my arms around his neck and look up into his face. Stubble lines his jaw, like always. Jack has this pristine messy look about him, like he was made for sex. His hair is always just a little messy, his sneakers are always covered in paint, and all the muscles in his chest and arms are so well defined that I want to lick them.


    "You know how hot you are," I tease.


    "Do I?" he asks, winking at me.


    "Yes. Jack Gray has always turned heads. The entire time I''ve known you, it''s been like that. It was Jack and his lackluster sidekick, Abby. I felt like a ragdoll next to you."


    "You feel like a goddess under me." Jack grins wickedly at me and winks. The pit of my stomach falls as a broad smile stretches across my face. He turns me away from him and smacks my butt with his hand. "Go change, Mrs. Gray."


    "What should I wear?"


    "Nothing at all."


    I walk away from Jack feeling happy. I hear Gus and the new girl enter the room. They speak with Jack as I change in the bathroom in the back. When they leave, I walk out in a robe. The back blinds are open. I pad to the back of the room and close them, making it darker, and flip on more lights.


    Jack walks up behind me and tugs my robe. "This is totally in the way." He starts to untie the belt and push the shoulders back, but I hold onto it. Jack dips his head and presses his lips to my neck.


    "Jack, what if they come back?" I ask, glancing at the door.


    "I told them not to bother us. And I told Gus that if he comes back for any reason what so ever, that I''ll punch him in the face and ask questions later. No one will bother us." Jack slips his fingers under the robe and it slips off and puddles around my ankles. "I''d like to tell you what I''m going to do."


    I nod, feeling very naked. He takes my hand and leads me towards several large canvases rolled out on the floor. Pointing, he says, "I want to do what I usually do and make a stamp on that one. It''ll be the backup in case what I want to do doesn''t work. Then on this one, I want to make the real one." He''s breathing hard as he looks me in the eye. "I want to paint a painting on you, then paint you onto the canvas, shoot it, and make a composite. The finished product will be part painting, part photograph."


    I tense. "Jack, I thought - "


    He cuts me off. "I know, but this way works so much better and it keeps you from having to pose over and over again. I knew I wanted to paint something on you, I just didn''t know what I wanted to do or how I was going to pull it together." He smiles softly at me, pushing back my hair from my shoulder and says, "I see the worry in your eyes. Remember, this can be for us. We don''t have to sell it. Do this for me, and then I''ll let you decide what we do with it."


    I nod. Nerves render me silent. The idea of a naked photograph of me freaks me out. Those images Jack took of me before we were married flash through my mind. Since I have no idea what he plans to paint, I just have to trust him. Jack pulls out a stool and I sit down. He starts to paint me with a translucent white hue. It makes my skin look like snow. Every inch of me is painted with that layer first. As Jack runs the brush over my body, I try to ignore how sensual this feels, but I can''t. When Jack finishes the base coat, he looks at me and smiles.


    "It is so hard to stand here with you and not throw you to the floor and have my way with you. Talk about something while I work. Tell me a secret that nobody knows." Jack goes back to his paints, this time sloshing huge amounts of violet, blue, and white across my hips. The paint is so cold, but I don''t move. His question sent a memory surging forward.


    "A secret that nobody knows..." I breathe hard, lost in the memory. "Do you remember our prom?" Jack nods. "I had a cut on my cheek that night. When you pulled me into the corner and asked who did it, you were on the right track. It scared me to death. I made it through eighteen years without a single person noticing but you."


    Jack''s brush stills as he looks up at me. My eyes sting. I blink, clearing the memory away. "Abby," he breathes, with so much concern in his voice that it kills me.


    "Keep painting. I can''t talk about this with you looking at me like that." Jack''s eyes hold mine for a moment, but he nods and continues painting.


    "I bought my dress a few weeks before. I''d gone shopping with Kate and paid for it myself." I smile thinking about it. Kate picked up the sluts-r-us dress and I picked up something more classic. It was a strapless sapphire blue gown with a long flowing skirt. "I was so happy that afternoon when I was getting ready. Kate and I got our hair done. My mother came with us and fussed over both of us. Kate''s mom was overly critical and Kate didn''t want her around. Anyway, after we dropped Kate off, Mom took me home to finish getting ready." My voice grows quieter as I speak, the memory becoming more vivid, choking me. I blink and clear my throat, forcing a smile. I look down at Jack, but he doesn''t look up. He continues to paint swirls of color across my body. He''s working his way up my torso with splashes of green.


    "Go on," he says, his voice tight. The grip he has on the brush is so tight that I think it might snap.


    "Well, Daddy and Mom had dinner without me while I put on my make-up. When I came out of my room, my mother beamed at me, but my dad - he looked angry. I was so proud of myself up until that moment. I thought I looked beautiful. I thought..." My voice cracks. I swallow hard and continue. "We fought. Mom did nothing. She just stood there and watched. The cut on my face and the bruise was from him. He told me that I looked like a slut and forbade me to leave. I tried to leave anyway. He caught my arm as I ran out of the house. His fist just missed my eye. His wedding ring did that to my face. It was like getting hit with a crow bar." My fingers touch the spot. The memory still burns inside of me. "He was drunk, although he''d never admit it. Things like that happened when he was like that. That''s the reason why I never touched the stuff. It was a promise I made to myself when I was a kid." I breathe in deeply.


    Jack stills. I know he wants to stop, but if he does, I''ll burst into tears. "Keep painting, Jack. There''s more to the story." His brush goes back to work. His eyes move across my body, painting just below my breasts. "Up until then, I thought I was totally alone, that no one knew - no one cared. Then this guy who wasn''t even my date, pulled me into a dark corner and pinned me to the wall, demanding to know the name of the ass that bashed my face in. You thought you could save me, even then."


    "I would have," he says, his voice too tight. "I didn''t realize it until then. I thought your date hit you."


    "It would have been better if he did. At least I could have gotten away from him." I pause for a second and say, "I''m glad we shared so much time together. I wish I''d told you back then. It would have made things easier."


    "Abby, I had no idea," he says, looking up into my eyes. There''s such remorse on his face that I want to cry with him.


    "Of course not. I hid it. I did what my mother told me to do. Look the other way. Pretend it''s not happening. My dad was a ''good man,'' besides that. She didn''t want to ruin him because he had a temper. Sometimes I just wished she would have tried to protect me. She didn''t lift a finger. She never said a word." My eyes take on a vacant stare. "She died because of it. Ignoring things doesn''t work. Maybe that''s why I confront everything. Maybe it''s reactionary, but I can''t help it. I fix what I can. I try to live a good life. Sometimes I mess up. Other times," I say, shrugging, "I get lucky." I smile sadly at Jack. He''s stopped painting and stands and looks at me.


    Jack lifts his hands. They hover next to my cheeks, like he wants to hold me. He laughs bitterly. "I can''t touch now."


    "It''s all right, Jack. I never thought I''d tell anyone that. There isn''t really a point anymore. He''s dead. I''m not. There''s a hollow place inside of me that''s almost relieved that he''s gone. I''m a horrible person for feeling that way, but I can''t help it."


    Jack''s fingers twitch by my face. He presses his hands to the sides of my head and pulls me to his lips. He kisses me gently. When he breaks the kiss I feel like I can breathe again. It''s like Jack has restored a part of me that had died. "You are the best person I know. You don''t have to feel guilty anymore, Abby. Dads are supposed to make their daughters feel safe. He took that away from you. You have every right to feel however you feel. I wish I could have been there for you." He pauses, his eyes falling to the floor like he''s remembering something. When he looks back up, I can tell he remembers. "Oh God. The bike accident? The skis? All of it was him, wasn''t it?" Fear wells up inside of me. I hear my mother''s voice telling me not to condemn him for one fault. I stare at Jack blankly. I''ve been conditioned not to answer, and even though I''m grown and my parents are both gone, I still carry the scars. "Abby," he breathes my name. His blue eyes pierce into me and tears begin to roll down my cheeks. They ruin his paint, streaking it.


    He takes me in his arms and holds me, smearing paint on his clothes.


    There was never a time when I dreamed that I''d tell someone that. It shames me to my core. I feel like it''s my fault even though I''ve learned that it isn''t. Jack holds me tight and I wish I''d told him sooner.


    Chapter 24


    JACK


    As his brush slips over her skin, Jack hears Abby''s voice stick inside her throat. All these years and he never knew. That night, at their prom, Jack was with some other girl. When he cornered Abby after seeing that cut on her cheek, he knew what it was because he''d had a fist to the face a few times. He remembers the way she smiled, like nothing was wrong. Abby looked him in the eye that night and swore up and down that it was something stupid - a curling iron. But her face wasn''t burned. In the dark room, it was difficult to read her eyes. That was something that Jack was very proud of. He could look at Abby and know if she was telling him the truth. They finished each other''s sentences. But that night, he ignored what was in front of him, and then a few weeks later, he''d fuck it up so badly that Abby would disappear for ten years.


    Jack stands and looks into her eyes. He can''t act like it doesn''t hurt her because he knows damn well that it does. Her voice shakes as she speaks, but her tone is too level, too apathetic. When she talks about her mother, Jack can''t stand it. How did he miss it? How didn''t he see? All those years when the two of them were out late, why didn''t it dawn on him that she didn''t want to go home?


    He watches her for a moment, uncertain of how to handle this information. Part of him wants to rush off and bash her father''s face in, but the man is dead. When Abby says it, when she spills her confession, everything changes. There''s a fragile side to her that she''s kept hidden. Without a thought about his work, Jack throws his arms around her and pulls her to his chest.


    Stroking the back of her head with his hands, he says soothing things in her ear. Finally, he says, "I''m sorry that I didn''t see it then. I wish I could take it away."


    Abby sniffles and laughs into his shoulder. "That''s funny. I think the same thing about you. There''s this painful look in your eyes and I have no idea why it''s there. Sometimes I think it''s my fault. Sometimes - "


    Jack holds her tighter. "It''s never your fault. None of it." It''s my fault. Every bit of it. Every time I saw you and ignored those bruises. Shit. Jack curses himself. "Abby, you''re my life. You''re safe with me. I promise you." He pulls away and kisses the tears off her cheeks. Jack''s gaze takes in the streaked paint and the glassy eyes. Jack pats the canvas and Abby sits next to him. He lays back and she follows. They both look up at the ceiling. "I was a shitty friend back then."


    "No, you weren''t. You were a kid. Kids aren''t supposed to protect other kids from their parents. The world is fucked up, Jack. We both know that." Her voice sounds a little better. Some of the emotion is returning. She always looks out for him.


    "Remember that time we cut class and went to Captree?" It was a boat basin where fishing boats docked. They took out passengers into the Sound to fish for the afternoon.


    Abby snorted. "Yes. That was the stupidest thing I''d ever done-up until that point anyway."


    Jack grins at her and takes her hand. They stare at the rafters overhead. "I didn''t know you''d do that."


    "I don''t know how I did that." When Abby tried to hook a worm onto her fishing line, somehow the hook went through her palm. She screamed and showed him. The hook went through the meaty part of her palm. Jack remembered every bit of that day. She needed him. He got a pair of wire cutters from one of the crew and removed the hook from her hand. She holds up her palm and shows him the scar. "The mark is still there. It''s my memento of my fishing trip with Jack." She laughs. "Who cuts school to go fishing?"


    "Cool kids, like us. And we didn''t just go fishing, we jumped on a flounder boat. Totally different. Way bad ass." He grins at her and she laughs. That sound fills him like nothing else. One moment he can feel completely dejected, but when he hears that sound - there''s nothing that makes his heart soar higher or faster.


    "Bad ass flounder fishers. Yeah, that sounds like us." Abby smiles at him.


    Jack says, "This is horribly tactless, but you look perfect. I have to paint you."


    "Now?" she asks.


    "Now."


    "Like this? I cried. I messed up the paint."


    "It''s completely perfect." He kisses her temple and jumps up. Abby lies on the canvas as Jack touches up some of the flowers painted on her chest. They dip beneath her pale breasts and vine up her sides. Jack''s eyes take on that look he has when he''s working.


    They talk about lighter things, remembering the past and laughing about the future. Jack feels it as he''s painting. Without a doubt, this will be the most devastatingly beautiful thing he''s ever made.

 Page 13

    Chapter 25


    ABBYAdvertisement


    The next afternoon everything changes. Suddenly there are picketers in front of the studio. A swarm of them appeared overnight. They stand on the front lawn and in the street holding signs that say wonderful things like:


    "RESSURECT MORALITY"


    "PORNOGRPHERS WILL PERISH"


    "LUST IS A DRUG "


    And my personal favorite: "ABBY GRAY: THE HAMPTON WHORE"


    I''m sitting with Gus and Jack in the conference room. Their faces are straight, utterly serious, waiting to see how I''ll take the personal attack. After the painting session last night, Jack thinks I''m fragile. Maybe I am a little, but not about this.


    I can''t be somber about it. I laugh and say, "They made me sound like a ghost. Wooooo, the Hampton Whore used to haunt this very building." I make more ghost noises as the guys'' eyebrows creep up their shocked faces. I can''t believe it. I lean back hard in my chair and say, "Oh, come on. It''s funny."


    Jack looks at Gus and then back at me. "This doesn''t bother you?" His eyes are kind, worried.


    I shake my head and lean in across the table. Jack mirrors me. I whisper loudly, cupping my hand to my mouth, "I''m not really a whore, so it doesn''t bother me."


    "Abby, be serious," Gus chides when Jack sits back in his chair and smiles widely.


    I hate it when people say that. ''Be serious,'' as if I don''t know what I''ve gotten myself into. I stop laughing and say, "You be serious, Gus. This is nothing. I don''t care. They can say what they want. I bet I''ve slept with less men than the woman holding the sign. This is stupid. It doesn''t warrant a reaction."


    Jack presses his fingers to his eyes and lets out a rush of air. He didn''t sleep well last night. Jack stayed up painting for most of the night, joining me in bed well after midnight. He tossed and turned, like something was bothering him.


    "Maybe she''s right." Jack drops his hands and looks at Gus. "If we do nothing, they''ll all leave sooner. Let''s just make sure all the doors are locked, and the studio is shut up tight. I don''t want any blinds open. The press will start sniffing around, trying to get comments. Don''t talk to them." That last part was directed at me. I shrink back into my chair a little and Jack gives Gus a scathing look. "No press, Gus. I don''t care what she says. If you do that again, you''re dead to me."


    "Holy crap, you sound like your mother," Gus replies, shaking his head, like he can''t believe it. "I never thought you''d use that line on me." There''s a playful tone in his voice, even though things are serious. I watch the two of them go back and forth for a few rounds until Jack cuts it off.


    "I can hold a grudge, Gus. Don''t piss me off." Jack stands and grabs the papers that are in front of him. He taps them into a pile and gestures for me to follow. He''s all serious until we''re clear of Gus, and then he laughs. "I can''t believe you sometimes. Gus and I were both freaking out when we saw them show up. They piled out of a bus like ants and swarmed. I thought you''d cry."


    "Wooooo!" I say, laughingly, making my best ghost noise. "Come on, you have to admit that''s a bad sign. I think they did it wrong if it was supposed to make me repent or something. What group is that, anyway?"


    We walk down the hallway to the studio. Once we''re inside, Jack pulls all the blinds and the room darkens. I flip on the lights. No natural light kind of sucks, but I can deal.


    "I don''t even know. I think there are a few civic groups and a church."


    "Hey, what time is it?" I ask.


    "One o''clock, why?" He looks at me funny.


    "Let''s call the pizza guy and send them lunch." There''s a huge smile on my face. I can picture it in my mind and giggle.


    "Oh, God. You''re going to get them to throw bricks at us, aren''t you? Listen," Jack takes me shoulders and looks into my eyes. He''s too serious. I stop smiling. "I love you, but they are going to get worse if they think that their picketing has no effect on you. At least pretend that they''re hurting you when they see you coming and going. Smiling and giving them food, while very hospitable of you, is going to piss them off." He smiles at me like I''m a bad kid.


    I sigh, "Fine. I''ll be good." Jack kisses my forehead and releases my shoulders. We walk into the studio. The painting he was working on last night is on the wall behind the curtain. I sigh dramatically and slump my shoulders. "Are you serious? I''m not allowed to see it? Again?"


    "Nope. You''ll have to wait like all the other models do. Since I stayed up all night, it''s pretty far along. I can''t wait to show it to you." He beams at me. I can tell how pleased he is, which makes it even harder not to peak behind the curtain. Jack notices the look in my eye and reads my thoughts. "Don''t you dare peek."


    I make a pouty face and say, "Fine, but know this..." I say, raising my finger and sucking in a deep breath. "I hate waiting." Jack laughs. I resume my normal stance as Jack walks toward the unused canvases.


    Jack starts to roll the biggest one back up. "Help me roll it," Jack says, grabbing one end of the massive roll. It''s as big as a roll of carpet. I grab the other end and we try to get it on the long brown roll.


    "So, what''d you have in mind for today, art boy?" I say with a grin on my face.


    "Keep it even," he scolds.


    "I am, but it''s like trying a roll a tree." I sigh and tuck my hair behind my ears. "This was from a new roll, right?"


    "Yeah and it''s not the canvas that I usually use. It''s thicker. The texture is really coarse, like burlap."


    "Ooooh, burlap. Sexy."


    He grins at me and pulls his end tight, trying to get rid of the wrinkle in the middle. "What''s gotten into you today? If I didn''t know better, I''d think you were giddy."


    "Yeah, nervous glee is my way of dealing with stress. Get used to it, Jack."


    He looks up at me, his dark hair in his eyes, and I wink. "If you keep doing that, I''m going to ravage you right here on the studio floor. Gus will walk in and you''ll turn all shades of red." His threat is hollow. He says it to tease me, knowing that I don''t have an exhibitionist bone in my body.


    I can''t help it. Maybe I am a little bit giddy. After talking to Jack last night, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. I want to play. I want to laugh.


    Straightening, I taunt him and hold my arms out at my sides. "I dare you." Jack looks up at me with a sexy smile on his face, like he doesn''t think I''m serious. "Come on, painter boy, are you all bluster and no bite?" Teasing him, I smirk and gesture for him to come get me.


    He laughs and runs straight at me, which I didn''t expect. I barely have time to turn and run when he reaches me. Jack grabs at my waist, but I giggle and move out of his reach. I run away from him, swirling as I go, dancing around the buckets of paint and tables of brushes and solvent. I shriek as Jack narrowly misses me and I dart around the table. I stop, waiting to see which way Jack is going to run. He does the same. We stare at each other for a second, catching our breath. My pulse is pounding and there''s a huge smile on my face. So far, today is pretty good. I plan on it getting better. I fake right and run left. I nearly fall on my ass doing it. I slip, and my hip bangs the corner of the table.


    "Frack! That hurt!" I say, half laughing, still trying to avoid Jack''s arms.


    Chasing me, he says, "''Frack?'' Come on, where''s my girl? Say it like you mean it."


    "I reserve that word for pillow talk, Mr. Gray, and since there are no pillows present, I won''t be saying it." Breathless, I stop on one side of the brush table. He''s on the other.


    He laughs as mirth flashes in his eyes. Jack is radiant when he''s laughing. It''s hard not to just stare. "I sense a challenge."


    "No you don''t," I laugh.


    Jack lunges forward and grabs hold of my waist. I shriek and giggle as he knocks the brushes on the floor as he slides across the table-top. I realize that he can''t stand and start to drag him across. I dig my heels in and pull, intending to knock him on the floor, but the man has catlike reflexes, and instead of falling, he manages to lunge at me. Lunge! We go down in a tangle of legs and arms and roll along the floor. He''s tickling my sides so hard that I can''t breathe. Tears are streaming from my eyes as I try to curl into a ball and kick him at the same time.


    "Say it!" he says, as his ruthless fingers find a horribly ticklish spot at the top of my inner thigh. His other hand is trying to get to the same spot. I kick and thrash.


    "No!"


    "Say it!" His fingers manage to find an opening and his other hand is getting nearer to that most ticklish of spots. He continues to tickle since I keep trying to get away.


    His hands reach that ticklish spot on both of my sides. I''m toast. I scream and laugh uncontrollably as his fingers torture me. Jack is perched over me. He leans down close to my face, and his fingers slow their onslaught. "Say it, Mrs. Gray. Say it."


    The smile on my face hurts. I feel my lips curl, trying to say that nasty word, but I can''t. It''s daylight and I''m not feeling it. Jack''s fingers start to move like he''s going to begin his tickle-slaughter again, and I concede. "Fuck! FUCK! Stop!"


    Hovering over me, Jack grins wickedly. "There''s my dirty girl." He kisses my nose.


    "You suck!" I giggle and take a shot at his head, but I''m too wiggly. I miss by a mile. Jack grabs my wrists and pins me to the floor before sitting on me.


    "No, no. You''re saying it wrong. Fffff..." He makes the sound, pressing his teeth to his lips. "Fuck. You try." He laughs and wiggles his hips against me.


    I can''t stop laughing. Everything he said and the way he''s straddled me makes me laugh hysterically. Jack''s eyebrow lifts as he looks down at me like I''ve lost my mind. I manage to say, "You''re doing it wrong," before I''m ravaged by more laughter.


    "We can fix that," he says and reaches for his zipper.


    I flush and the giggles evaporate. I grab his hands, stopping him. "I can''t. There are people here." The office girl is here and so is Gus. They could walk in. As it is, Gus heard me screaming profanities. My face burns and I know I''m blushing.


    Jack laughs and lowers his face to mine. "I know." He watches me for a second, like he might do something. My heart is thumping in my chest, totally freaking out. I want him. I want to say yes, but I can''t. His eyes are glued to mine as his warm breath slips across my face. "I''ll take a rain check on this one if you''ll consider sex on the beach when the paparazzi leave."


    "The drink?" I can''t help it.


    "Okay, back to now," he says, lifting himself up enough to reach for his belt and unfasten it.


    "No, no. I''ll consider it." I say, laughing, pulling at his hands to make him stop. A tear streaks from the corner of my eye. I still feel uber happy.


    "No, I mean really consider it. Not just say that even though the answer is already no. Think about it - about what it would feel like, about what you might like." His eyes are so dark. They look like gemstones.


    I nod slowly. "All right. I will."


    He looks surprised. "Are you serious?" He strokes a stray hair from my eyes.


    "Of course I am. The idea scares me, but I''ll think about it. Maybe there''s something that might appeal to me that I haven''t thought of. In the meantime, you can tell me about what you want. I''d like that. Use the word fuck a lot. I hear that works really well."


    Jack laughs and holds me tightly. When I see him happy like this, when I get a chance to be around him without distraction, I feel so perfect. Jack rolls and I''m on top of him. He holds me there, looking up at me, and gives me the first little tidbit about sex on the beach. "I''d want you to be on top so I can look at you." His hands run over my sides and come up under my breasts. He cups them through my shirt and I sigh. He''s about to tell me what else he wants to do when someone pounds on the door that leads to the hall and it flies open.


    Gus runs in. He stops short when he looks at us. He turns away quickly. Horrified, I climb off of Jack, who thinks it''s amusing. He pulls me off the floor and tells Gus, "Knocking only works if you wait for someone to answer, jackass."


    Gus''s back is turned. There''s a sense of urgency about him. His hands are clenched at his sides and he''s breathing hard. "Sorry, bro. I didn''t mean to walk in on you."


    "Turn around, Gus. There''s nothing to see." Gus turns around, and Jack leans back against a table, still smiling at me before directing his attention to Gus, asking, "What''s going on?"


    "Something bad happened at the opening in Biloxi. One of the guards was attacked. A protester tried to spray-paint Abby''s portrait. The guard tackled him. There was a knife and the guard was hurt. Jack, I need you." Gus turns and sprints back down the hall.


    "Make sure every door is locked," Jack says to me, and squeezes my hand tight before he follows Gus out of the studio.


    For the first time since all of this started, I feel truly afraid.


    Chapter 26


    ABBY


    I walk around the studio to make sure all the doors are locked. The studio is secure, but the way the studio offices and house are arranged means that there are some doors that you can only get to by walking outside. I head to the back of the studio after grabbing my keys. I walk outside along the path to the cottage. I open the door and stick my head inside. Nerves get the better of me and I feel skittish. I''m ready to bolt like a spooked cat. I can''t shake the feeling that someone is watching me, but there''s no one inside the cottage and no one on the beach. I pull the door shut and lock it before walking back to the main building. I let myself in, and lock the door behind me. It feels strange. This is a safe neighborhood. People don''t do things like that here. The residents that stay year round are nice; many of them are artists like Jack-writers, sculptors, and painters.


    As I head toward the conference room, I hear Gus speaking, "The guard was taken to the Biloxi Regional Medical Center. I''ve notified his family. This is going to make the rest of the southern half of the exhibition more dangerous. Once something like this happens, it spreads the hate. Kate called earlier. Since MOMA is the last stop, she needs to be in on this. The tour might need to be altered."


    "To what?" Jack snaps. When I step into the room, I slip into a seat quietly. The blinds are drawn, making the room much darker than usual. "We set this up with Kate. It was supposed to - " He sighs loudly and pinches the bridge of his nose. His dark hair falls forward. I know he''s thinking of the guard and the man''s family. When Jack looks up, he glances at me.


    "Everything''s locked up. The cottage, too."


    "Good," Jack replies. "Listen, Abby, I know you''re pissed at Kate right now, but you need to keep an eye out for her. I don''t want the picketers to hurt her."


    I nod and stand. Before I leave the room, I lean in and hug him. When I''m on the other side of the door, I pull it shut and take a deep breath. I walk into the front office to find Cara. She''s slim, in her thirties, with her dark hair slicked back in a high ponytail. She''s wearing a suit, like Gus. The two of them are the only ones who wear suits.


    "Hey, Cara," I say.


    "Hi, Abby. What''s up?" She''s sitting at the front desk. We can''t see the picketers from here, but we can see the press camped out, waiting for someone to walk outside.


    "Cara, I''m watching for someone. If you see her, help her get inside as fast as possible. I need to run back to the cottage to grab my cell." She nods at me and I take off at a jog, my hair sloshing around my face as I move.


    Since the doors are usually open, I don''t have my phone in my pocket. I leave it on my nightstand. I want to text Kate so she''ll know there are a bunch of nuts at the end of the driveway. When I walk outside, I run to the cottage. I grab the phone and notice that I missed a call. I check it quickly. I don''t recognize the number, but there''s a message. It''s from Jackson. He wants to meet up with me and catch up. Now would be the worst time in the world to catch up. Another message plays after that. It''s the from movers. Something''s happened to my things and I need to call them. I hang up and take a deep breath. How did they find my things? I get the creeping suspicion that this a lot more serious than anyone thinks.


    I text Kate quickly and shove the phone in my pocket, before locking the door. I intend to run back to the main building, but a reporter sees me. She steps from between the pine trees that are between the house and the studio and cuts me off. I nearly slam into her. A microphone is shoved into my face.


    "Is it true that you consummated your relationship with artist Jonathan Gray before your marriage earlier this month? Is that why you left your church and married him? Did he make you an honest woman? Or did you entrap him?"


    My eyes widen as I''m pelted with questions that I can''t-I won''t-answer. I push the mic away and run for the house. She chases after me with a camera crew on her heels. The others figure it out and soon they are all around the back of the house. I fumble the key, trying to unlock the door as countless microphones are shoved in my face. I can''t see the lock. I feel my temper slipping. They hurl questions at me until I crack. Slowly, I turn and say, "I will answer one question and one question only. Then you will get off my property or I will have the cops take you off. Do you understand?"


    The reporters roar to life, all speaking over each other. I manage to get the key into the lock. One question is heard above the rest: "Did you love him?"


    Twisting the key, I say, "I''ve always loved him." The door opens and I back inside, slamming it shut and locking it quickly.


    My heart is pounding. I hate it when that happens. When everything is good, the reporters act civil. When things are bad, they turn into vultures, all clawing to pick at any scrap of flesh they can get at. Damn. I try to shake it off, but my skin is still prickled with goose bumps.


    I run my hands over my arms and feel the phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out. It''s from Kate.


    One word: "SHIT."


    I run to the front just in time to see her car. People are chasing her up the drive-way, yelling at her. She blares the horn and keeps her hand there with a smile on her face. She stops in the closest parking spot and runs inside. An egg hits the door as it swings shut. More eggs are flying through the air and hit her car.


    "Holy shit," Kate says so slowly that I can see all her teeth. She glances at me and says, "I''m mad at you about last night, so don''t think that''s over." Her finger is in my face.


    I smack it away. "It''s so not over." I release a slow breath so I don''t strangle her. Kate is so prickly when she''s mad. Prickly is a Texas word. In New York, she''s just being a bitch. "Go into the meeting room. I''ll be right in."


    Kate gives me a don''t tell me what to do face and turns her head toward the door. Her earrings swing as she works her jaw and goes in to see the guys. I''m glad that we''re usually on the same side. I hate fighting with her.


    I tell Cara, "Call the local police station and tell them that the press and the picketers are on our property and won''t leave. Ask if they can come down and get them to scatter."


    "No problem. I''ll keep an eye on the door. I have pepper spray in my desk. It''s there if you need it."


    I thank her and invite her to come in with us. It''s nice knowing that another person is watching out for us. I want to watch out for her, as well. Leaving her alone in the front makes me nervous. I wonder if we should lock the doors and shut down altogether until this blows over, but I can''t do that to Jack.


    I walk into the conference room and tell them that the press came around the back of the studio and trapped me outside.


    "I talked to them," I say, glancing at Jack, knowing he''ll be upset.


    Gus tries hard not to react, but Kate flips out. She stands and presses her hands on the table, bending her fingers backward as she leans forward, yelling, "You talked to the goddamn press? How stupid are you?"


    My mouth flies open to scream back a snarky retort, but Jack beats me to it.


    "That''s enough," Jack says, his voice rumbling like thunder. He''s pissed. The look he gives Kate could kill a chicken. When he turns his gaze back to me, he asks more gently, "Are you all right?"


    I nod. "Yes. They ambushed me out back. I couldn''t get in because all the doors are locked." Jack''s eyes hold mine and I tell him, "I told them that I''ve always loved you." Jack''s brow wrinkles as he looks away from me. He pinches his temple with his right hand and takes a deep breath.


    For a moment, everyone is silent. When the talking starts again, no one is yelling.


    "It makes Abby look worse and Jack look better," Gus offers. He''s staring at Kate, who''s pacing the floor across from him. Jack stands at the head of the table with his thick arms folded and flexed across his chest. Jack glances at him, but says nothing.


    Kate is chewing on the ends of her hair, thinking. Her eyes dart to the side and she looks at me. The soggy hair falls out from between her lips. Turning her head slowly, she looks toward the window. Everyone watches at her. "Did you hear that?"


    Cara rushes toward the door, her eyes searching the room for a sound that some of us missed. I glance at her and the hairs on my neck stand up.


    "Hear what?" Gus asks, and gets up from his chair. A second later, something smashes through the glass and tumbles across the floor before coming to a stop. It would have hit Gus in the head if he were still sitting there.


    Heart pounding, I ask Cara, "Did you call the cops?"


    "They''re coming, Abby," she says from the doorway with worry pinching her face. Her jaw hangs open, staring at the broken window.


    Jack swiftly moves across the room. The blinds were drawn, but that didn''t keep the brick from coming through. It just made it harder for us to see it coming. The salty sea air rustles through the blinds. Jack rips open the shades. Every muscle in his body is flexed, ready to fight. I step toward him with my hand outstretched. I''m not sure what I intend to do, but I move all the same.


    The blinds rip off in Jack''s hand and the entire thing falls to the floor with a loud clatter. No one is there. No reporters, no protesters, no one. The glass is shattered, glistening in long sharp shards like crystals in the sunlight. The shattered bits spill into the room and glitter on the carpet.


    Jack bends down and lifts the brick. He turns it over, and on the smooth side his fingers brush over the big black letters as his eyes narrow with rage.


    There are only five letters on that brick, five letters that form one nasty word. I feel my throat constrict when I see the fat letters. They wanted me to see it. They knew we were in this room. Still, it jars me, making my stomach lurch like I''m going to be sick.


    "WHORE."


    Jack''s eyes shift to me as he holds the brick in his hand. Kate is standing perfectly still. Gus says nothing. I walk over and take the brick from Jack and put it on the table. I''ve been taught since I was a child that words are only words, that they only hurt you if you let them, but that isn''t true. Words can build you up and words can destroy a person. I pretend it doesn''t hurt me. I don''t want it to sink beneath my skin. I don''t want to spend hours crying over what some hater thinks of me. I shouldn''t care.


    My finger touches the word on the top of the brick. I say, "It''s only a brick. It could have been worse."

 Page 14

    Chapter 27


    ABBYAdvertisement


    Jack doesn''t wait for someone to speak. He takes my hand and pulls me away. We leave the others behind and he speaks to me in the gallery. It''s dark. There are no windows and no bricks in here. He grabs me and pulls me into his arms. Jack breathes hard, his hands stroking my hair like I''m hurt. "I''m so sorry, Abby. I don''t want you to go through this. Let''s take the next flight out. We can wait for it to blow over and come back after the eye of the storm passes." There''s desperation in his eyes. He wants to protect me, but he can''t protect me from this.


    "They''re just words, Jack." I trace the skin on his forearm and avoid his eyes. He can see right through me when I look at him. "I''m more concerned about the brick itself. It seems like a stupid kid prank."


    He tilts my face up so I have to look at him and holds me there. I feel my chest swell with pain and my eyes start to prickle. Tears will come if he doesn''t let me go. "I know you. I know you better than you think, and I know this is hurting you. Abby, tell me what you want to do and we''ll do it. I wish I could make this all go away." He tucks a stray hair behind my ear. His touch is so soft, so gentle.


    I smile sadly at him. "Okay, I didn''t like it." Jack gives me a look and tilts his head. "Fine, it hurt. It hurts when they talk like that about me, but better me than you. This will pass, Jack. I knew they''d go after me. It''s better this way."


    "I can''t stand to see you hurting." His hand is on my cheek and slips back into my hair. "Every time I hear someone say something about you - "


    "Then don''t listen."


    He laughs, like that''s ridiculous, and drops his hands. He looks at me like I''m crazy. "Not listen? How? It''s everywhere."


    I put my hands on Jack''s and hold on tight. "Turn it all off for a few days. You and I don''t have to go anywhere. As long as the protesters stay in the street, we won''t see them, and Gus can tell you if something needs your attention. It will settle down in a few days. I know it will. The people will get tired and go home. In the meantime, keep working, keep creating. I mean, that''s what they''re trying to stop. I''d love it if you finished your next piece while they were trying to bring you down." I smile softly and look up at him. "It feels like you and me against the world. It''d be really great if we won."


    "What constitutes winning, Abby?" Jack steps back and runs his hands through his hair. "This group is violent. What if they - "


    "Jack, life is filled with what ifs. Let''s live in the here and now. We''ll avoid the mob at the end of the driveway and keep on doing what we do best."


    Jack glances at me out of the corner of his eye. He sighs and takes me in his arms again. "I''d feel better if we left."


    "I''m not running from this, Jack. Besides, they''ll just be there when we come back. I want you to keep painting. I want you to enjoy your work. I want to see that smile on your face, the one that brings out the dimple in this cheek." I press my finger to his skin and Jack smiles softly.


    "I don''t have a dimple." The look on his face is so somber, so serious.


    "You have two, sexy painter man." I take his face in my hands and kiss the first spot. "One''s here, and..." I turn his face the other way and kiss the other side. "The other is here. You have dimples, and they''re so sexy."


    Jack seems torn, but before he has a chance to say anything else, Gus''s voice rings out, "The police are here, Jack. We need you back in the conference room."


    "Be right there," Jack replies, before looking down at me. Those beautiful eyes are filled with regret. I wish I could wash it away. "Are you sure?"


    I nod. "I''m not running. Besides, I''ve endured rougher things than this. This is nothing. The sooner we face it, the faster it''ll go away."


    When we return to the conference room, we each give statements. The officer commiserates with us and reminds us to keep everything locked up and board the window. "Protesters usually get rowdy in the beginning. I''ve dispersed them for the night. They shouldn''t be back until morning. In the meantime, try to get some rest. You might want to think about a dog or a security system for the back section of the property. If things get worse, call me." He hands Jack his card, which has his name on it: Jerry Greene.


    Jack takes it and shakes his hand. "Thank you for coming out. I appreciate it."


    Officer Greene nods. "No problem." He glances between me and Jack, and asks, "You two go way back, huh?" Jack and I nod. Greene gets a puzzled look on his face. "I don''t pretend to understand some people. They think everybody''s got to think like them, do things their way. I remember seeing your story in the papers a few weeks ago. You seem like good people and it was a sweet story. The best of luck to you." He tips his hat and turns to walk out of the building.


    Cara follows behind him so she can lock up. I hear her saying that we are nice people, that it''s horrible that someone would do this kind of thing.


    Jack lets out a rush of air. Gus is already on the phone with the glass guy, telling him to get out here tonight.


    I glance at Jack. "You really think someone will come this late in the day?" It''s getting late. Most glass places won''t even come out here. We aren''t exactly in the central part of the island.


    Jack nods. "Yeah, Gus knows a guy."


    "Gus knows everyone," Kate chimes in. Her arms are folded over her chest. She glances at me out of the corner of her eye. "What? I''m not allowed to say things about him? I spent over twenty hours driving cross-country with the guy. I bet I know things you haven''t got any clue about." She directs the last part at Jack.


    "I lived with the guy for four years, so I seriously doubt that." Jack sits down hard in the chair before looking up at us. Kate and I don''t look at one another. "For god sakes, make up already. Go talk and fix whatever broke." He shoos us off.


    Kate gives him a weird look, but then shrugs and walks away. I follow her into the kitchen. She grabs the canister of coffee and starts to make a pot. "I didn''t mean to be a bitch last night, Abby. It''s just that this guy''s timing is a little off. I''d be suspicious, and you aren''t. At all. What gives?"


    I sit at the little table and listen to the coffee-maker percolate. The scent fills my head. I breathe deep, wondering how much to tell her. "I know it wasn''t him because we were a thing for a while."


    Kate''s eyes bug out of her head. "Just when I think your ability to shock me ends, you go and say something like that. I thought you didn''t date anyone?"


    "It was before seminary. Jackson liked me a lot, but things didn''t work out." I snatch a napkin off the table and twist it in my hands as I speak. "That''s why I know he has nothing to do with them. I know him."


    Kate is looking at me like I have two heads. "You never told me that. How far did you go with the guy?"


    "Kate!" I whine and put my head on the table.


    "What? It makes a difference. A guy shows up that held your hand, okay, that''s fine. A guy shows up that saw you naked in the shower, now we''re into a whole other bag of tricks." She grabs the creamer and pulls the sugar from the cabinet.


    Lifting my head, I say, "No naked anything. The relationship never got that far. I kept comparing him to someone else."


    "Jack. He wasn''t Jack, so you dumped him?" She stares at me and then places the sugar on the table.


    "Something like that." I grab one of the little sugar packets from the dish and slide it around the table. Not looking at Kate, I say, "You could have trusted me last night. You didn''t have to act like I was your idiot little sister."


    "Sometimes I have to." I bristle and look up at her. She waves her hands, "No, no-wait. Hear me out. Even if you knew him at some point, it''s been years, right?" I nod. "A lot of things can change in ten years, Abby. Look at you. Can you honestly tell me that you''re the same person you were the last time you saw this guy?"


    I think about it. I want to blurt out "yes." I want to be right, but I''m not. There''s been a shift in how I see everything. It affects every aspect of my life. "I don''t think people change so much. I''m a little bit different, but you''re still you."


    She smiles wickedly at me. "No, I''m not. We had to start over too. When you came back, things were tense at first. It wasn''t until later, until we accepted how we both changed, that we got on with being friends. That''s all I''m saying. When you have batshit crazy people gunning for you, be careful of who crawls out of the woodwork. Promise me that you won''t think the best of them. Make them earn it."


    Kate''s rationale is grounded in the right place, but I wish she wouldn''t act like I can''t handle things. "Kate, I can handle this. I''m not naive. Please stop worrying about me."


    "Fine," she says, pouring a cup of coffee. "I just don''t want anyone to hurt you. You''ve been whacked in the head enough times to last a lifetime. Sorry if I was an ass. I didn''t mean to be." There it is - the rare and evasive apology. Kate stirs sugar into her coffee as she says it, not looking at me.


    "Me, too. I hate fighting with you." Kate glances up at me. Her prickly nature settles down. I smile at her and she smiles back. My smile turns into a lopsided grin.


    "Cut it out. I''m not hugging you." She points her spoon at me as she puts it in the sink.


    "No one asked you to." We''re both laughing awkwardly. Neither of us is touchy feely, but she comes over and hugs me anyway. When Kate pulls away, I feel so much better. "So, I keep meaning to ask you, but every time I see you, something else happens."


    Kate glances up at me from over the top of her mug. "Ask me what?"


    "Who''s the guy?" I give her a look that says, I know that you''re seeing someone.


    Kate spews her coffee and chokes. She slams the mug down on the counter and quickly turns away, which lets me know that I''m right. She''s met someone. I thought she so. Kate had that perky I just had sex look on her face the other day.


    Blotting her mouth with a napkin, she turns back, "There is no guy." She stares at me while she says it, like staring will make it true.


    "No, of course not," I tease. "But you did sleep with someone."


    "Stop it!" Kate squeals and turns away. "I hate it when you do that." There''s laughter in her voice, but something else is there, too. This is a secret and she doesn''t want to share yet.


    "Okay, sorry. Just promise you''ll tell me if things get going good." For the past few months Kate has shuffled through men quickly. Right before I moved back, some ass hurt her pretty badly. She didn''t recover very well. Promiscuity seemed to be her thing for a while. I''m glad she finally found someone, even if she doesn''t feel comfortable telling me about it. She''s too great to be alone.


    Kate turns slowly. She has a sheepish look on her face. Cradling her mug between her hands, she says, "He''s really, ah..." She sighs, with a starry look in her eyes that is so not Kate. She smiles at me lazily and stirs her coffee. "It''s just that things are going good for once, and I don''t want to jinx it. I''ll tell you soon. I promise."


    "I''m happy for you, Kate." And I am. She deserves someone to love her just as much as Jack loves me.


    Kate''s sheepish smile contorts back into the wicked one. "So," she says, leaning back against the kitchen counter, "how''s my little virgin''s sex life? Gus said he walked in on you guys in the studio, and there was paint...which makes me wonder..." Her voice trails off and she holds up her cup like she''s toasting me.


    My face burns and now I''m the one hiding behind my mug. "That wasn''t sex. We were doing something else. It just looked bad." Oh God. I''m going to kill Gus. Why''d he tell Kate that? I wonder if he told Cara, too.


    "Well, then get on to the nasty stuff." She puts her mug down and claps her hands together and rubs. "Do you like it? My first fuck was horrible. You remember that Benji guy? He didn''t know what he was doing. The guy needed a map. But Jack should know where all the goodies are, since he was Mr. Sexy and all that. So, is he treating you good? Does he always satisfy?"


    "Kate!" I squeal. I''m not used to talking about this stuff at all, and even though Kate''s my best friend, it feels strange. In a hushed voice, I lean forward and say, "We can''t talk about that stuff."


    She gives me a funny look. "Yes, we can and we will. We''re not in high school anymore, Abby. And you''re married. You shouldn''t feel guilty about it at all, unless he''s bad." Her smile fades and she looks totally serious. "He''s not bad, is he?"


    "No, he''s wonderful." I get that stupid look on my face and I can''t hide it. Kate laughs and urges me to tell her more. I finally cave in and talk a little. "It''s like we were made for each other. I don''t know how else to say it. Jack can read my mind. He knows what I want, when I want it. He''s done things to me that made me so insanely..." I suck in a breath of air and press my hand to my heart. "Kate, I had no idea it could be like that."


    "When you find the right guy, it is. So, everything''s great? You both want the same things?"


    I nod and then add, "He''s a little more brazen than me."


    Kate sips her coffee. "What do you mean?"


    "I like to keep things private and he likes to, ah, well, he wants me when and where he wants me." I tell her about the room in the restaurant on our honeymoon. Her jaw drops. "And I loved that while we were doing it, but if I knew that was his plan, I would have puked. The thought of getting caught makes me so nervous. It''s not a turn-on at all, but Jack wants it."


    Kate comes back to herself. Her jaw snaps shut and she says, "Try it."


    "What? Weren''t you listening - "


    She cuts me off. "I was, but you don''t know what you like until you try it. There''ve got to be things like that that you''ve already done, things that you never thought you''d do. I remember talking about oral with you before gym class. You said you''d never do that. It sounded gross at the time. It''s not so gross now, am I right?" She grins at me and gives me a look.


    I snort laugh and look away. "I forgot about that! But this isn''t the same. I feel so frightened that I can''t lose myself in the moment, you know?"


    "Oh, you''ll like it then. Having sex when you''re scared out of your mind makes it better. I don''t know how or why, but you have to work up enough nerve to try it."


    Kate and I talk a little longer, until Gus comes and tells me that someone is here to see me.


    Kate and I ask in unison, "Who?"


    "Some guy named Jackson."


    Chapter 28


    ABBY


    Kate gives me a look that says I would be an idiot if I talk to him. "Don''t do it, Abby. Something''s off about that guy."


    "He was my friend. I at least need to tell him that now isn''t the best time."


    "Yeah, and you might want to hurry," Gus says. "He introduced himself to Jack as your ex-boyfriend. You should have seen Jack''s face. It was - " I don''t hear the rest of what Gus has to say. I fly down the hall and into the lobby. While we talked about it a little bit, I didn''t really go into very much detail. As to why Jackson would introduce himself that way, I have no idea.


    Jack is standing with his arms folded tightly across his chest, working the muscle in his jaw. Damn it. I didn''t think Jackson would just show up. Kate was right. Who does that? Nothing really happened between us, but Jack doesn''t know that, and there''s no telling what Jackson has said. Why would he introduce himself as my ex? Is he crazy? He has to know that I married Jack.


    As these thoughts race through my head, I feel my emotional hardwiring coming undone. Cords are frayed and flying every which way, and the first person who missteps is going to get fried. I don''t smile. I''m not into fake and I''m not thrilled to see him. I can''t believe he just dropped in and did that.


    Jackson glances up at me. "Abby." His voice is a little too high, like he''s nervous.


    "Jackson, now isn''t a good time." I walk briskly toward Jack and stand next to my husband with Jackson across from me. "Today has been crazy, so I didn''t get a chance to call." Jack''s eyebrows climb up his face and he turns his head and looks at me for a second. I say, "Jackson went to college with me."


    "He told me that. I asked how he knew you and he said you guys dated, which surprised the hell out of me." Jack locks his jaw again and stares holes into Jackson.


    If the tension goes up another notch, I''ll scream. I breathe to steady myself and push my fingers through my hair, tugging it out of my face. "We did, but that was a million years ago." I turn my attention to Jackson and ask, "And you - what do you have a death wish or something? This is my husband, as in the guy I married. What the hell is wrong with you?"


    "I told you he was a bastard," Kate says from behind me. She waves the tips of her fingers at Jackson and smiles. "Want me to toss his ass into the picket line?"


    I round on her. "No! Go away!"


    Kate flinches and turns, taking Gus with her, she walks away muttering. "Come on. We''re not wanted." The smirk on her face irritates the hell out of me. It''s an I was right smile.


    Jackson speaks up, "I didn''t mean to cause trouble, Abby. And I''m sorry, Mr. Gray. I thought your name was Jonathan and Abby married a guy named Jack." Jackson shifts his weight from foot to foot and then looks back at the door. "Maybe I should go?"


    "That''s an idea," Jack replies coldly. I press my hand to Jack''s arm. The muscle beneath is insanely taut.


    "Jack," I say softly, looking up at him. I admit, I kind of like the jealousy thing. I''ve never seen Jack act like this before. It''s hard not to smile. I say to Jackson, "Jonathan is a pseudonym. Listen, it was nice of you to stop in, but it''s really bad timing. Maybe you should look me up next time you''re in New York. I''m going to be up to my neck in this for the next week or more and going someplace with you to catch up isn''t a good idea. I don''t want the media to turn on you. Your career will be over in a blink."


    Jackson smiles and shakes his head. "Abby, you''re funny. I have no career, remember? My dad had too much money and even after the seven wives, there''s still some left for me. I go where the wind blows. Right now I''m on vacation for the next few weeks. I''m staying at a house a few blocks from here. If you feel like chatting, feel free to stop by." He looks at Jack, "Again, I apologize for my lack of tact. Abby was a dear friend to me when I sorely needed one. You''re lucky to have her." Jackson smiles at me and turns away. He picks up his briefcase and heads for the door.


    I glance at Jack, feeling torn. Something about what Jackson said makes me feel like I have to answer. As he reaches for the door, I say, "We''ll stop by sometime."


    Jackson glances at me. "Good, I''d like that." Then he''s gone.


    Two seconds before Jack goes supernova, Gus and Kate make a mad run for the door.


    "Ignore us, just passing through. Abby, you''re an idiot. Jack, don''t kill her. I''m pretty sure that was her only boyfriend and I think the most they did was hold hands." Gus is tugging Kate''s arm, but she won''t shut up. "They wore gloves and had a chaperone. Abby always wears protection."


    Gus sucks in a shocked breath and pulls her out the front door. I hear him hiss, "Are you crazy? Abby''s going to kill you."


    The door closes and it''s just me and Jack. Cara is gone. The glass guy is gone. The window is patched up and a new set of blinds is hanging in the window, blocking out the rest of the world. Kate''s headlights disappear down the driveway. Since I don''t hear a ton of honking, I assume the protesters have gone home for the night.


    Jack turns away from me without a word. He locks the front door and moves through the lobby, flipping switches and shutting off lights.


    "You can''t be mad at me?" I ask, surprised by his reaction. "Jack, that was a long time ago."


    "It doesn''t matter." He sounds pissed.


    "Hey, I didn''t ask you to provide me with a list of everyone you dated. I didn''t ask for the name of every girl you slept with, either." I''m on his heels when Jack stops short. He rounds on me.


    "I would have told you. I would have told you if an ex showed up at the house and was asking for me. I would have told you if she asked to hang out and talk about old times. Damn, Abby." His blue eyes are blazing with fury. He shakes his head and says, "Just, damn." He turns and walks toward the hall that connects to the studio.


    My heart thumps and falls into my stomach. I reach for him. "Wait, I don''t understand why you''re upset. I didn''t do anything." I wait for him to stop, but he doesn''t. "Jack, talk to me. I don''t want to fight."


    When I follow him into the studio, it''s pitch black. The sun has already set. Jack flips on the overhead light and turns toward me. "You''re really telling me that you didn''t think anything of this guy, that he means nothing to you?" Jack''s face is pinched. His arms fold tightly across his chest like he''s protecting his heart.


    "No," I answer, shocked that he thinks that. I put my hands on his forearms and look into his eyes. "He showed up. I think of him as a friend, because most of the time I knew him, that''s what he was."


    "How''d you end up dating?"


    I shrug, "He kissed me. I wanted to see if I could get over someone, so I let him. Jackson was getting over his own heartache. We leaned on each other for a while. Eventually, we noticed that we didn''t belong together. I didn''t want a placeholder boyfriend and that''s what he was. I took him because I couldn''t have you."


    Jack''s eyes hold mine until that moment. He looks down at our hands. "How much did you do with him? You weren''t in seminary yet, right? So you could have - "


    A crooked smile fills my face. "You''re the only one, Jack. I didn''t sleep with him. I didn''t sleep with anyone. Second base was as far as we got. He was pushing for third, but he never got there."


    Jack''s tension seems to ease ever so slightly. "But he kissed you."


    "But I''m yours for tonight, forever. He didn''t get me, you did. There''s no comparison. I don''t even think of him that way anymore. The time we spent dating was a blip compared to the rest of our friendship. And the entire time I was with Jackson, I wanted you. I''m a horrible person." I look away as I say the last part. I feel like a horrible person. Maybe I jerked Jackson around. I definitely jerked Jack around. The last thing I''d want is for him to feel like I don''t want him. At the same time, the jealousy is a little sweet.


    "No, you''re not horrible. I am. You''ve never pressed me on stuff like this." He takes my hand and looks down at me with those liquid blue eyes. "I deserve to be pressed. I pushed you hard and fast when you showed up again. It''s surprised me that you don''t ask about the others, about my past."


    "I can''t pretend that I don''t care, because I do, but I don''t think that will help us move forward. I want to make memories with you that will make those other girls fade away." I press my lips together and look up at him. "I''ve been thinking about what you asked me to do, about being with you on the beach, in the open." My heart beats inside my chest so hard that I feel breathless.


    Jack grins. His thumbs rub the back of my hands. "Have you now?"


    I nod. "I have. It might be possible, maybe after the press is gone."


    Jack winks at me and I feel my body flame to life. He leans in close to my ear, "If it was only the press, I''d take you out into the surf and make love to you anyway."


    I blush violently and turn away, trying to hide my face. "Jack, I barely think I can do it and then you say something like that!" He grins, revealing dimples that only show up when he smiles broadly. I slap his chest and he grabs my wrists.


    Leaning close to my face, he whispers in my ear, "If the picketers weren''t here, I''d throw you over my shoulder and take you out there right now." Jack straightens as he realizes what he said.


    I realize it, too. The picketers are gone. The police scattered them and the press until morning. My heart pounds harder as I look into his beautiful face. Jack wants this so much. I said I''d try. Twisting my fingers, I ask from under my lashes, "Did you do this with anyone else?"


    Jack takes my hands. He stills my nervous movements and says, "No. Not even kissing in the surf. This is something that would be between me and you. It was the kind of thing where I had one girl in mind, you know? It became the fantasy that blew all the others away. Making love to Abby Tyndale in the ocean, pressing her back up against the sand and feeling the waves wash over us. It''s not the kind of thing I wanted to do with anyone else. Just you."


    I know I need to make a decision. My pulse roars in my ears as I look up into Jack''s face. All the hardness, all the fear, washes away for a moment. I know he''s thinking about it, his fantasy of me on the beach. I want to give it to him, but after the way today went, I don''t know if I have the guts to do it. My emotions are frayed as it is. If something happens...I swallow hard and ask, "How long have you had this particular fantasy, Mr. Gray?"


    Jack''s quiet for a moment. When I look up at him from under my lashes, he has a wicked smile on his face. "Since high school."


    "Seriously?" I''m shocked. I had no idea.


    He nods, looking utterly boyish. "You were the girl I couldn''t have. Me and you would go sit on the beach and talk - remember that? - The beach kind of became our place, our spot. Of course that''s where I''d want you most. It''s where I fell in love with you."


    I smile at him and can''t believe what I''m going to say. Taking his hand in mine, I lift it to my lips and kiss the back of his hand. "Come on." I tug him gently, pulling him along with me.


    "Where are we going?" he asks, stopping me. I turn and look up at him, my heart is bursting at the seams. I can''t believe he wanted me for so long. I have trouble remembering how much he adored me back then. At the time, Jack was my friend and I didn''t see the desire in his eyes. Now, it''s all I see.


    "To the beach. I like the idea of being your fantasy."


    "You''ll always be my fantasy, Abby. You don''t have to do this." He looks down into my face, searching my eyes. My heart is racing like I''ve been running, but it feels good. I''m still nervous, but it''s a feels good kind of nervous.


    Without a word, I lead him out the back door. Jack locks the studio behind him and we walk slowly hand in hand toward the water. Jack squeezes my hand and I squeeze back.

 Page 15

    Chapter 29


    ABBYAdvertisement


    By the time we''re standing at the surf, my heart is racing so hard, so fast. We haven''t even done anything yet, but the anticipation of stripping naked and loving him out in the open shoots through me. The sand moves between my toes as we talk about nothing and stare out at the sea. Jack tugs my arm and leads me down the beach. We continue talking and walking until the house is no larger than a speck on the horizon. My palms have grown hot-hell-all of me is hot. I didn''t think we''d be this far from the house. I didn''t think about this at all. It''s hard to imagine the Jack I knew back then thinking about me this way, so long ago. My fantasies were lackluster compared to his. I could never dream past kissing those lips. I may have dreamed about him a few times, but the only thing I remembered afterward was the feel of his hands on my skin and his lips on my mouth. I never thought I''d do anything like this. I want to make him happy. I want to shirk off the old Abby and give myself to him. I want to forget today. I want to lose myself in Jack.


    Neither of us is speaking. We stare at each other under the waning moon. It casts a pale glow across the water, shedding just enough light to see. Jack''s eyes are dark and his eyelids grow heavy as he watches me. I breathe in jagged breaths through my mouth, trying to calm my nerves, but they won''t calm. Jack doesn''t ask me again. He doesn''t give me a chance to escape from my promise. This is going to happen. In a few moments, he''ll have me naked on the sand.


    As Jack reaches for me, the sound of a siren fills the air. We pause, and it''s like we both know what''s going to happen. Dread fills my stomach as Jack''s hands drop from my cheeks.


    Fear makes my heart race faster. Jack starts to walk up to the house with me on his heels. His shoulders square off like he intends to inflict some damage. I don''t know what I expected, but it wasn''t Nate. The police detective rounds the corner of the house and calls out for Jack.


    "Jack Gray! Get your ass over here!" The cop marches quickly toward the cottage, looking for Jack.


    Jack calls out, "I''m over here. What''s wrong?" It''s the first question out of anyone''s mouth when a cop shows up. It''s never a good sign.


    "The car that just left here didn''t make it past the end of the block." Nate waits for me to reach them before saying more. I run up the beach toward the studio.


    Breathless, I ask, "What happened?"


    Nate has a somber look in his eyes. It''s the warning that this is bad news, the worst. "The car caught fire. The driver couldn''t escape. I''m sorry to ask you this, but I need you to come and see if you recognize the man. He was last seen leaving your property, and with the things that happened earlier today..."


    Jack holds up his hand and nods. He takes my shoulders and we follow Nate down the street to a burning car. The air is filled with the scent of scorched plastic. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Every step closer makes me more nauseous. If this is Gus..., that''s all I keep thinking. Gus and Kate left together, laughing and teasing me. This can''t be happening.


    Squeezing Jack''s hand, we step toward a stretcher with a black bag tied to it. Shaking, I feel my eyes prickling from the smoke. I can''t breathe. I can''t believe this is happening. The flashing red and white lights from the fire engine, all the sounds and people pass in a blur. I don''t notice them. Nate takes us past the yellow tape to the black bag. When he unzips it, my chest collapses. I expect to see blonde hair and Gus''s face, but it''s not him.


    Gasping, I look away and bury my face in Jack''s chest. I choke, as I try to breathe without vomiting. The image of Jackson''s charred flesh is burned into my retinas. I cling to Jack. He holds me tighter. I hear him speaking to the officer, but none of it registers.


    Chapter 30


    JACK


    When that bag zips open, he''s sure that it will be Gus that''s inside, but it isn''t. The man who came looking for Abby is in there. The guy that had the audacity to show up and announce himself as her ex. Abby throws herself into Jack''s arms. Shock lines Jack''s features. He nods at the man holding the body bag open and turns Abby away.


    "That''s Jackson. He was friends with Abby. He left our house about half an hour ago. Maybe a little bit more." Jack is breathing hard, but he doesn''t let go of Abby. He won''t let her see. Her life has already been fucked up beyond belief.


    Nate follows them as Jack and Abby step away from the body as it''s loaded onto the truck. "Do you have his last name, Abby?"


    She looks up. Her face is lined with grief and shock. She swallows hard. "Wright. His name is Jackson Wright. He was staying nearby. His father is Tatum Wright."


    "The real estate tycoon out in L.A.?" Nate asks, scribbling on a notepad that he pulled from his pocket.


    Abby nods. "Yeah. Jackson is...was... his only son." She presses her lips together, but it doesn''t stop her jaw from trembling. When she looks up at Jack with those eyes, he knows that he has to get her out of there.


    "What happened?" Jack asks bluntly.


    Nate makes a noise at the back of his throat and explains. "The best we can figure so far is that someone rigged the car to burn. It looks like it started under the hood, but the fire marshal will have to confirm that. The car stopped here and burst into flames. The driver tried to get out, but the seatbelt wouldn''t release. He screamed for help, but the people couldn''t do anything. The car was engulfed in flames. They couldn''t reach him. Someone tried. The ambulance took him to the hospital. He has third degree burns on his hands and arms. Jack, this had to have been done when the car was parked and the last place it was parked was - "


    "At my house. Fuck." Jack holds onto Abby and looks down at her tiny form. She''s strong, but no one survives shit like this unaffected. Jack breathes hard, but the acrid smell of burnt car fills his lungs.


    "Did this guy have anything to do with the museum or the opening in Biloxi? I heard there was an incident there, as well."


    Shaking his head, Jack explains, "No. This guy had no connection to anything but Abby. They were friends a long time ago - went to the same college." He left out the part about them dating. He didn''t know why, but it seemed like it would hurt her now.


    Nate groans and jots more notes. "He was driving a black Beamer," he says, taking a sidelong glance at the car.


    Abby comes to life in his arms. "Jack has a black BMW. It''s usually parked out front during the day."


    "Where is it now?"


    "Around back, locked in the garage."


    Abby''s face contorts in pain. Tears streak from her eyes. Her hand covers her mouth as she gasps, "That was meant for you." The realization slams into Jack at the same time Abby says it. This is more than eggs and bricks. Something''s changed. The pit of his stomach twists hard. The look of terror on Abby''s face makes him want to take her and run.


    "Or both of you," Nate says. "Listen, Jack, I need to know everything you''ve heard about the Brimstone group. This looks bad. Very bad."


    Jack follows Nate to his police cruiser and tells him everything he knows about the group and the way they function. Jack has been watching them for years, hoping that his name would never be posted on their site.


    "I don''t know, Jack," Nate says, closing his pen. "This sounds personal."


    "This sounds like someone wants to see me burn," Jack agrees. Running his fingers through his hair, he takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Listen, maybe it is Brimstone or maybe it''s not, but I can''t have these people - whoever they are - gunning for me and Abby."


    "I''ll leave an unmarked car by your studio. They''ll keep an eye on things until this works itself out."


    "And if it doesn''t?" Abby asks, her voice pinched like someone is standing on her throat. "What then?" Abby looks so frail, so small standing there. Her green eyes are like dinner plates, wide and scared. Jack walks over and holds her tight. No one answers her because there are no answers, not right now.


    After a moment, Jack says, "I''m sorry, Abby."


    Tears streak Abby''s face, but she doesn''t sob. "It''s not your fault, Jack. Someone did this to him, someone who was aiming at you." The tears flow faster now. "I couldn''t bear to lose you, Jack," she cries and holds onto him tight.


    For the first time in a long time, Jack is unsure of what to do. No one has ever tried to physically hurt him before, and this was more than that. They wanted him dead. The flames, the fire, it seems like a pretty good visual for the Brimstone nuts. They think he should burn in Hell and would be all too happy to see that happen. Jack holds Abby tightly. He finally has the girl of his dreams. There''s no fucking way that he''s letting some hate group tear them apart.

 Page 16

    Chapter 31


    ABBYAdvertisement


    When we walk inside, two officers come with us. They look over the property for any sign of who did this. Jack sits down at his computer and touches the mouse. The screen flares to life. He types quickly, not saying what he''s doing. The Brimstone site comes up. There''s a new entry at the top with a picture of Jackson''s burning car. My heart seizes in my chest. The caption under the image says, "Those who are immoral will be consumed by flame."


    Jack scrolls down. There are pictures of the picketers from earlier. He stands and goes to the door. I hear him talking to the cops outside, telling them that the Brimstone group posted pictures before the news coverage of the car fire. "One of them was here," Jack says. His words send a chill through me.


    He speaks with them for a few more minutes and comes back inside. I''m sitting in front of the computer, reading with a horrified look on my face. Jack switches the monitor off, but I still stare blankly forward.


    "Who would do this, Jack? Jackson had nothing to do with this."


    Jack pulls me from the chair and takes me in his arms. I feel safe against his chest and terrified - terrified that he''ll be taken away from me. I hold on tight, thinking it may be the last time. "They weren''t after him, Abby. I had no idea things would be like this. I would have never started the tour. I would have - fuck, I don''t know what I would have done. There was no way to see this coming." He sucks in air. It fills his chest, and some of the anger fades from his voice when he speaks again. "I''m not leaving your side until this is over. Let''s go to the house and grab blankets and whatever else we need. I told the police that we''d stay in the main building tonight."


    I nod solemnly. I still don''t want to let go of him. Fear is consuming me, choking me so hard that I can''t breathe. My fingers press into his sides harder, holding him close.


    "Abby," he says comfortingly, "they aren''t going to take me away from you." Jack kisses the top of my head and wrenches me off of him. He holds my shoulders tightly, but I feel like I''m falling to pieces inside. I can''t shake it. I feel horrible that Jackson was here, that he died. Then my mind shifts to what could have been - Jack in that body bag - and I can''t stand it. My eyes are filled with tears that won''t spill over. He grips my arms hard and says, "Look at me, Abby." I glance up at him. "Nothing could take me away from you. We''ll get through this, together. Both of us. I promise."


    "How can you promise? You don''t know - "


    He smiles softly at me. Jack threads his fingers into my hair, pushing it away from the tears that are streaking down my face. "I know that you were made for me. I know that you''re my soul mate - that I belong with you. We tried to stay apart; we both thought we were doing what was right. In the end, it didn''t matter, and that''s the reason why. You were right when you told me that we were connected on a spiritual level. I feel it. I know it. I kept trying to deny it and say that all this happened because I was a greedy dick, that I corrupted you, but it would have happened anyway. It''s not fate; it''s love. I''ve never seen anyone else have anything like this. I love you, Abby, with every fiber of my being. I''ll protect you. I''ll always be there for you." Jack smiles crookedly at me and adds, "Keep the faith."


    I smile, even though I don''t feel like it. "Are you going to sing now? That''s a song you used to listen to."


    He nods. "I''d sing forever, if it kept a smile on your face."


    I wrap my arms around him again. "I feel so weak, Jack. It''s like I''m made of tiny grains of sand, but there''s nothing holding me together. Anything could blow me apart right now."


    I pull back and look up at Jack. His blue eyes are clear as crystals. "I''ll hold you together, Abby. I''ll be your water, your glue - anything you need."


    Chapter 32


    JACK


    Abby and Jack hurry off to the house and grab the things they need for the night. Within ten minutes, they''re back in the studio. Jack takes Abby''s blankets and makes a bed for her on the couch. She lies down and he tucks her in, kissing her softly on the lips.


    "Where will you be?" she asks sleepily. The shock of everything is catching up with her, but her body is too exhausted to deal with it.


    "Painting." Jack points, "Over there. I won''t leave this room without you."


    She nods and smiles at him, snuggling into her pillow. "Can I watch you work? Will you move the curtain away?"


    Jack grins at her. He wanted to wait and show her when he finished, but after today, Jack realizes, it might not get finished. Swallowing hard, he says, "Yeah. I''ll let you watch." She smiles back and it makes his heart swell. There''s always been something about the woman. She has the ability to make him soar.


    Jack takes one of the drinks from the table and pops the can of soda open. He guzzles it and then goes to pull back the curtain that''s concealing Abby''s new painting. His heart beats wildly in his chest. This is one of the things that terrifies him as much as it delights him. Jack''s hands grab the fabric and he pulls it back, walking the long drape out of the way.


    Abby pushes herself up on her elbow. Her perfect little mouth drops open and she just stares. Jack''s heart thumps harder, waiting for her to say something. The painting is nowhere near done, but he can see it as if it were.


    Sitting up, the sheet falls off of Abby. She pads barefoot across the floor and stops next to Jack. He hears her breathing hard. When he turns to look at her, Abby''s eyes are taking it all in. Jack says nothing and waits for her to say something.


    "Jack," she breathes his name and continues to stare in awe. "I have no words." Wide eyed, she looks at the painting longer. "No words at all."


    Jack''s nerves climb up his throat. He can''t tell if her shock is good or bad. He''s worked so hard on this and wants her to love it as much as he does. Jack wasn''t there when she saw her last painting for the first time. He doesn''t know what her face looked like, how she took it then. It would have helped judge her reaction now. Jack looks at the toe of his sneaker and swallows hard. "So, is that good or bad?"


    The painting lines one wall. It''s huge. The result is a life-size painting of Abby. The colors are vibrant and muted at the same time. He got the idea when Abby started to cry. The tears washed away some of the paint and his hugs crumpled the body paint he''d applied that night. It gave the painting the evocative nature he was known for, but instead of it feeling lonely, it feels hopeful. The tears streak the painting like rain, washing away everything that''s bad. Abby is depicted as a pale goddess, walking through a garden with her hand outstretched. Everything she touches comes to life. Her tears are rain. They streak her beautiful face, showing the humanity within her. The flowers literally vine from the ground, just trying to touch her. They swirl up around her waist, leaving a vibrant trail of color in her wake. The ground in front of her is vacant, blank canvas waiting for her touch. It says so much about what he thinks of her. The pressure inside his chest increases. He knows that Abby doesn''t like be depicted as an angel, so making her into an ethereal creature like this had the potential to go either way - she could love it or hate.


    Abby snaps out of her trance and laughs. Her beautiful face lights up. "It''s good. Oh my God, you couldn''t tell, could you?" Jack shakes his head. Shyly, he looks away from her, but Abby takes his face between her palms. "This is the most stunning, hauntingly beautiful thing that I''ve ever seen. It''s not even done yet, and I''m blown away. I don''t know what to say..." Her gaze is locked with his. Jack feels his body respond to her touch, to her praise.


    Taking her hands from his face, Jack says, "Then, I can''t wait to see what you think when it''s done." He holds her for a moment, feeling a peace that has evaded him since he returned from their honeymoon.


    When Abby lets go, she says, "You finally understand, don''t you?"


    He nods slowly. "I didn''t take your wings away because you were always mine. I see you through the tears, and it''s those tears that brought you back to me. It was that pain that allowed you to start another life. We usually think of sorrow as a bad thing, but sometimes it''s what''s needed to move forward."


    She smiles at him and lowers those thick lashes of hers. When she looks up again, she asks, "And the blank side of the canvas, what''s going to go there?"


    "Nothing. It''s the future and the future hasn''t been written yet. It''s ours to make."


    She smiles broadly. "Good, I like it that way. It''s hauntingly hopeful. I can feel the pain seeping through the work, but the way you painted me, the way I''m floating, moving forward into the unknown..." Her voice trails off and she sighs. Abby''s eyes cut to mine. "It''s the best thing you''ve ever made. Jack," she shakes her head, "I have no words. I wish I could say how this makes me feel, how much you inspire me." Her green eyes lock with his. When she throws her arms around him, Jack scoops her up into his arms.


    He walks across the room and lays her back on the couch, pulling the blanket up to her chin. He leans in and brushes his lips against hers ever so softly. There were so many things she could have said, so many ways to interpret what he''d done, but Abby saw what was written in his art. They have a connection that''s only supposed to exist in fairytales. Jack is beaming when he stands up.


    Looking down at her, he says, "Rest, Abby. I''ll paint for a little bit and then go to sleep in a little while."

 Page 17

    Chapter 33


    ABBYAdvertisement


    I watch Jack climb a ladder and paint. My eyes feel like there are anvils attached to the lashes. I can''t keep them open, but I love watching Jack paint. The way he works is hypnotic. The last thing I remember is watching him toss his shirt on the floor and climb up the ladder. He defines the light and dark parts of my billowing curls. They fade into wind, trailing softly behind me. I was so happy when he showed me the painting. I had no idea what he was doing. It combines his idealism with reality. It was me on that canvas, but it wasn''t. It was hopeful, but it wasn''t. There was pain, but there was purpose. It was the most alluring, evocative thing I''ve ever seen. It literally left me breathless. I''d want to keep the painting for us, but depriving the world of Jack''s talent would be a sin. That painting is everything to Jack. It''s his heart and mind on canvas.


    I fall into a dreamless sleep of exhaustion. When I wake up, the early morning sunlight is streaming into the room through the slats in the blinds. It shines on the floor where Jack was sleeping. Rubbing my eyes, I sit up and look for him. He''s on the ladder, shirtless, with paintbrushes in the back pockets of his jeans. There''s one behind his ear. He has a streak of paint over his temple. I smile and pull the blankets around me as I sit and watch him.


    Eventually, Jack turns and notices I''m awake. "Good morning, lover."


    I smile and try not to blush. "Did you sleep?" I look down at his blankets, which appear way too neat and wrinkle-free.


    "A little. Besides, painting makes me feel better. It''s cathartic." He turns back to the painting and adds shadows to the violets that swirl up my body. The little punches of color flow behind me like a long gown. He did so much last night. It''s even more stunning today.


    "Jack, that is so beautiful. So perfect."


    "I''m glad you like it. It''ll be ours. We can put it in the cottage after it dries." He''s so sweet. He assumed that I wouldn''t want anyone to see it.


    "It''s not going in the cottage."


    Jack turns and looks down at me. "Where do you want it, my love?" The expression on his face tells me that he has no idea.


    "In your gallery, to sell. I can''t keep something like this to myself. It would be horrible. You have to show this to people."


    Jack climbs off the ladder as I speak. His lips twist into a surprised smile. "You are so sweet, but you don''t have to do that for me. I know how you feel about - "


    "It''s too spectacular to hide just because I feel shy. Besides, you conveniently hid one of my nipples behind a flower." I smirk at him. "If anyone is staring at my boobs in this painting, they have issues. It''s about life."


    "Breasts are a part of life." He grins, teasing.


    "One of your favorite parts, am I right?" I joke. Jack gives me a wicked look. Then he glances at his hands, which are covered in paint. "Don''t even think about it." I try to untangle myself from the blankets, but Jack grabs me just as I stand up. He wraps his paint-covered arms around me and squeezes tight. I yelp and try to wriggle free, but Jack tosses me to the floor. I fall onto his bedding and he straddles me, pinning me in place. He takes his hand and slowly strokes both sides of my face. I scream and kick, laughing the whole time.


    "There, now you match your painting."


    "You suck!" I giggle. "I''m going to beat you up as soon as you get off of me."


    Jack laughs and suddenly stands. He puts his hands out at his sides and taunts me. "Come on, Abby. Bring it. Attack!"


    I laugh like a lunatic and run straight past him. Jack chases after me. I manage to dunk my hands in purple paint just as I feel his hands close around my waist. He pulls me back and I whirl around and slap my hands onto his shoulders. Jack sucks in a breath. The paint is cold. My hands trail down his bare chest, stopping when my fingers meet his jeans.


    Jack looks up at me with his jaw hanging open. "You are going to pay for that, Mrs. Gray."


    Laughing, I dance away and say, "No, I''m not!" I run as fast as I can and plow through the studio doors. I hear Jack laughing, chasing behind me. I run into the kitchen and intend to turn on the water and grab the sprayer from the sink, but Jack grabs my arm.


    He yanks me back to him. His hands are covered in fresh paint. He slips his hands under my cami and smears the paint on my skin. I keep trying to twist away, but he holds on to me. Somehow Jack loses his balance and we both end up on the floor. He swipes his finger down the bridge of my nose and leaves a trail of blue.


    "You have a very cute nose, Mrs. Gray. And those lips!" Jack grins, moving his finger slowly toward my mouth.


    While the paint is organic, it doesn''t taste fantastic. I try to wriggle away, but can''t. Jack smears the blue across my screaming mouth and manages to paint my teeth, too. At that moment, Cara walks in. She comes to an abrupt stop when she sees me foaming blue at the mouth, dressed in painted pajamas, with Jack straddling me, wearing nothing but jeans.


    Cara flinches and looks away, as though she walked in on us. "I''m sorry, Jack, I was going to turn on the coffee." She rushes away in her high heels with her hands covering her eyes like blinders.


    Jack and I burst out laughing when the door closes. "You look completely insane," he says, pulling me to my feet. "You look like you ate rabid Smurfs."


    "Yeah, well, you look like the Braveheart guy, all screaming like a lunatic." I start laughing again. This time I can''t stop. I double over when I see a reflection of my face. My entire is mouth is blue. Jack looks like he was attacked by a blueberry. By the time we straighten up, Kate is standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Gus is behind her, smirking.


    "You know that you''re doing it wrong? I assumed that at least one of you knew how to have sex." Kate tells Gus over her shoulder, "You might want to get him a book or something."


    Gus laughs. "They look like they''re fine to me."


    Kate turns to him. "You would think that." She lets out a huff of air and walks over to the coffee pot. "I think you guys scared the new chick out of her mind. She''s practically hiding under her desk. When we walked in, she told us not to come back here."


    "So we did." Gus grins.


    Jack and I start laughing again and lean into each other. He grabs a towel from the sink and wets it for me. I try to wipe the paint off my mouth, but I make it worse. Jack starts laughing again, until I pull him down by his neck and kiss him. When he pulls away, he looks crazy, too.


    Gus and Kate smile, muttering things to each other. "So, newlyweds, we saw the news."


    Jack and I glance at each other. Then I ask, "We?"


    Kate shifts in her seat, looking a little uncomfortable. Gus looks anywhere but at Kate.


    Jack says, "You know we have eyes, right? You guys left together last night and show up together this morning. Believe it or not, we aren''t as silly as we look."


    I giggle like a maniac and say, "We''re sillier!" I rush Kate and hug her at the same time that Jack does it to Gus. They both squeal and pry us off. "Oh, I''m so sorry. I ruined your clothes. Don''t worry. It''ll wash out." I look into her purse - it''s the kind that''s always open at the top - and grab her keys. I run out to her car, saying, "We''ll just have to swap the shirt out for something else."


    "Abby!" she yells at me, but Kate and Gus don''t say anything else until I have the trunk open. There''s an overnight bag. I pull out a shirt, and then a piece of lingerie. "So? I''m a slut. You know that. I have to be ready to look good whenever a guy wants me."


    "Kate. When I told you to come in the other night, you got here in like ten minutes. You were at Gus''s-just admit it." Kate and Gus still play dumb.


    Jack puts his arm on Gus''s shoulder. "Still have nothing to say?"


    "Not a word, man. She''ll take my balls off." He says it totally deadpan and doesn''t show any emotion until Kate rounds on him.


    "What the fuck! You said you wouldn''t tell them!" Kate''s tense and stomps her heel into the ground.


    Gus is laughing. He pulls prickly Kate to him and she seems to melt. "They already know. Jack figured it out already, and we can''t have Abby thinking that you''re the real Hampton Whore."


    Kate presses her lips together like she''s going to say something nasty, but she just pecks him on the lips and then turns to us. "Fine, I''m fucking your best friend."


    "Use nice words, Katie," Gus chides her. Holding onto Kate''s waist, Gus prompts her like she''s a child. "Now, what do we call it when both people like each other and want to have regular sex with each other?"


    Kate rolls her eyes. "A relationship. Fine. Whatever." Kate looks at Jack and corrects herself. "I hope you don''t mind that I''m having a relationship with your best friend." Gus laughs and kisses her cheek. Kate smiles like a schoolgirl. It''s an instant transformation that doesn''t fade all the way. It softens some of her sharp corners.


    I smile at her. "Congratulations, bestie." She holds out her arms and I give her a hug. Jack and Gus do that manly back slap thing and I give Gus a hug, too.


    Jack looks at Kate and says, "Last time I tried to hug her, she tried to bite me. I''ll just wave, if that''s okay."


    Kate walks over to Jack and bears her teeth and snaps. Then she pulls him into a hug and laughs. Jack''s eyes go wide. He gives Gus a look that says, I hope you can handle her.


    "You know how much I like crazy chicks," Gus says. For some reason, Kate doesn''t slap him. She just smiles like he told her that she''s the prettiest girl ever.


    I laugh and say, "Well, we should get back inside and change. Although, if we ran down the driveway right now, I bet we could scare the hell out of the picketers."


    Kate and Gus glance at us, like we should realize it. "They''re not there. Didn''t you hear what happened?"


    My stomach sinks. Jack wraps his arms around me, bracing me for whatever''s next.

 Page 18

    Chapter 34


    JACKAdvertisement


    He gives Gus a look that says tone it down, but Gus can''t read his mind. The guy blurts out everything.


    "The group that was here yesterday was driven in early in the morning on a charter bus. They were supposed to be here for a week, according to the news, but last night when they were on the way back to their hotel, a deer ran in front of the bus. It swerved and went off the road. Those things are top heavy, so it rolled."


    Abby is pressing her fingers to her mouth hard. Jack hasn''t felt her breathe since Gus started talking. Jack cuts him off. "Anyone killed?"


    Gus finally gets it. He glances at Jack and then back at Abby. "A few. The rest are beat up pretty bad. They won''t be back."


    Abby stares at him, unblinking. Jack still doesn''t feel her chest expand. He knows something is going through her head, but she doesn''t speak. Abby seems to internalize what she feels and makes up her mind before letting a word fall from her mouth. Sometimes that''s admirable. Other times, it just scares the hell out of him.


    Jack tightens his hold around Abby and she finally inhales. She looks over her shoulder at him with grief strewn across her face. "This is horrible."


    "They were horrible people, Abby." Kate says as she picks at her fingernail. "I thought you''d be happy." Abby and Jack stare at Kate. It''s too quiet. When Kate glances at them, she waves her hands. Correcting herself, she adds, "That''s not what I meant. I thought you''d be glad they weren''t coming back. It''s a black cloud with a silver lining."


    Jack doesn''t let Abby answer. She''ll tell Kate there is no silver lining. He feels it. Jack segues, "Did you hear what happened last night?"


    Gus and Kate shake their heads. Jack tells them about Jackson, still holding on to his wife. Abby stares blankly, all traces of laughter and life, gone. When he finishes, he adds, "Abby knew him. He was there for her when I wasn''t. This has been hard on all of us, but it''s crushing her."


    "Jack," Abby says softly, trying to get him to stop, but he doesn''t.


    "We stayed here last night, but I think this entire thing is bigger than we thought. I want to take her out of town for a few days. Maybe the cops will have a lead by then. Either way, it''ll make sure no one knows where we are. It''ll give us some peace of mind." Jack speaks carefully, but he wants them to know what''s going on.


    They both nod. After a moment Kate says, "Does anyone else have the feeling that this isn''t about the tour anymore?" She looks around, her shrewd eyes falling on each face.


    They all nod, one by one. It''s just a gut feeling. Jack''s felt that way since the stabbing. That seems so far off from the normally peaceful protests, but that''s what Brimstone does. They take normal people and sweep them into a frenzied mob mentality. They only problem with that is last night. Whoever did that to the car stuck around after the picketers left. Jackson didn''t have to drive through them when he arrived. The bus had already pulled out. Something doesn''t sit right. This feels personal, but Jack can''t fathom what he did to bring it on. The thing is, now that Kate voiced that it seems like something else is going on, it feels more real. Maybe two things are happening at once? Jack doesn''t know, but he can tell that every person standing in the room has the same sinking feeling.


    Gus crosses his arms over his chest and asks, "Then, what''s this about?"


    Jack shakes his head. "I don''t know. Everything is so intertwined - Brimstone, the protesters, the stabbing in Biloxi - and then again, maybe not. Maybe they all appeared that way by chance." His eyes rake the room, trying to think but nothing makes sense. The busload of people getting hurt was an accident. The stabbing and the car fire could be connected. The brick and the eggs they assumed came from the protesters, but those things aren''t the same as physically hurting someone. But still... they could have stemmed from the same source. Without seeing who did it, there''s no way to know.


    Something doesn''t feel right. The hairs on the back of Jack''s neck prickle, like something bad is going to happen. Rage rushes through him, barely contained. This has to stop.


    At that moment, Cara walks up behind everyone. "Should I open the gallery? I didn''t know what you wanted to do today, in light of everything that''s going on. There were some tours scheduled for later today." Jack turns and looks at her. Cara is meek and mousy. Her sleek brown hair is tucked behind her ears. She''s wearing a coral suit with a slim skirt.


    "It''s up to you, Gus," Jack replies, looking at his friend. "We''re not going to be around for the next few days. Do you think you and Cara can manage it?"


    Gus runs his fingers through his sandy hair. "I don''t know. My gut reaction is to say ''fuck them'' and leave the gallery open, but I don''t want to risk all that work right now. What if someone got in here? They could slash all your pieces and get into the studio."


    "Can you hire a guard?" Abby asks. Everyone looks at her. "What? It''s not weird. Considering how expensive everything is, I''m surprised you don''t have one already."


    Jack smirks and squeezes Abby tight. "I wanted one. Someone thought it''d be tacky." He glances at Gus, recalling a heated conversation about security a few years back.


    Gus holds up his hands, "Fine. You''ve officially handed me my ass. This warrants a guard. I''ll get someone out here. A guy owes me a favor. I''ll have an armed guard here while the studio is open, but the guy is wearing a suit, not a uniform."


    "Is there anyone who doesn''t owe you a favor," Kate says, rolling her eyes. Gus opens his mouth. There''s a smirk on his face. He loves fighting with Kate. The two of them lock horns like they''re going to kill each other.


    "Just do it," Jack says, cutting off any retort from Gus. Jack turns Abby around in his arms and looks at her face. Her eyes are still glassy, like they''re full of tears. Taking his hand, Jack pushes the tears away with his thumb, skimming the bottom of her lashes. "I want you to stay with Kate for a little bit. I''m going to go and get us packed and make arrangements. I don''t want anyone to know where we are. Stay on the property. You know why." Abby nods. He doesn''t want to leave her, but they can get away faster if he does. A few phone calls while he packs their bags, and in an hour they''ll be gone. Jack lifts his gaze and says to Kate, "Leave her alone and I''ll rip your balls off."


    Kate laughs one short, shocked laugh, her eyes wide. "I''m not that bad." She looks at both of them. When we don''t correct her, Kate leans in close to Abby and asks, "Am I?"


    Abby smiles sweetly at her and shrugs her shoulders. Kate looks shocked, like she has no idea what people think of her. Abby puts her arm around Kate''s shoulder. "We''ll chat while you go pack."


    Chapter 35


    ABBY


    While Jack runs off to make plans for us, I walk with Kate into the gallery. We pass Cara''s desk, but it''s empty. She must be getting things ready for the shows later. She''s at the desk all the time and takes care of the phones and appointments. One of the sales girls will come in later to actually do the presentation. It''ll be like the one Jack gave me all those months ago, minus the sexy parts. I smile, remembering.


    "Stop thinking about Jack and help me! I thought I was a little bit bitchy, but I had no idea that I''d turned into a full-blown ballbuster? When the hell did that happen?" Kate is standing in front of a painting. Her arms are folded across her chest. She''s all sharp corners and accusations. She''ll hear anything but the truth.


    Stepping toward the next painting, I say, "I heard once that we choose friends that complement our nature, that it helps round us out and make us better people. Being tough isn''t bad. I''m severely lacking in that department. You - "


    "If you say, you complete me, I''m going to bite your head off. I just will. I feel like a shaken can of PMS. I''m going to go batshit-crazy on someone. I feel it." Her hands are at her sides, but her fingers stretch as far as they can go. Kate''s ready to explode. "I didn''t realize I crossed the line."


    "That''s what I''m saying, ass cake, you didn''t."


    Kate turns to me and stares. Then she starts laughing like that was the funniest thing she''s ever heard. Gripping her stomach she says, "Where the fuck did you learn to talk like that? You make cursing sound adorable." She laughs some more, which is what I wanted, and she finally starts to hear me.


    "I took a correspondence course. Obviously, I failed." Kate snorts. "My point is that you are who you are, and Gus likes you anyway."


    Kate doesn''t round on me. Instead she nods. Looking at her hands, she says, "I like him. He doesn''t want me to tone it down, like at all. He seems to like me best when I''m a category nine Kate." Glancing at me out of the corner of her eye, she smiles.


    "You two work well together. He likes a challenge, you know. I bet he thinks he can tame you."


    "Well, he''s in for a hell of a surprise. This is me, tame. And apparently, I''m still in scary-as-hell territory." She sighs and looks at me. "Why are you my friend? I mean, I''m like the worst influence on you possible, and yet, here you are."


    "Shut up, ass cake," I say, grinning at her. We step toward the next painting and I add, "I''m not hugging you, so stop looking at me like that."


    Kate punches my shoulder and the subject shifts. "I''m sorry about your friend. I really am, Abby. I wish it hadn''t happened."


    "Did you see anything when you left?" I ask, wondering.


    "No, everyone was gone by the time me and Gus took off." She''s quiet for a moment, thinking. "There wasn''t anyone."


    I nod, wondering who''s doing this to us. I wonder if it''s the church I left behind, but this seems extreme, even for them. Besides, Dick likes his power where he can reach it. It can''t be him. I wonder who Wrath is, and if he can see us here, now. It makes my skin crawl. I rub my hands up and down my arms, trying to chase away the feeling.


    At that moment, Cara enters the gallery. "Abby, there''s a package for you." She disappears. Kate and I walk to the front of the studio, to the lobby. Jack is in the cottage and Gus is in the conference room with the door shut, trying to get a guard out here.


    "I''ll sign for it. Jack ordered some supplies a few weeks ago. They probably want a signature."


    "Why can''t the new girl sign for it?" Kate says, following me.


    "I don''t know. Sometimes they want me or Jack. Are you seriously following me? I''m just going to the front door." I look back at her as I walk to the front.


    "Jack was rather explicit, and I''d rather not piss him off. He''s kind of scary when he''s protective." I grin. "You like that, don''t you?"


    "Who wouldn''t?" I smile at her over my shoulder. Cara is standing at the door, holding it open. A man in a brown uniform is standing by a huge box on the front steps. My mind takes it in, but nothing seems wrong. The larger packages always get delivered around back. The fact that he''s waiting out front is the only indication that something''s off.


    As I step out the front door, Kate says, "Abby, I don''t think Jack wants you to - " I hear a gasp and turn in time to see Kate crumple to the ground. Another man is standing next to her with a shiny black club. He pulls her aside, quickly dragging her off.


    Just as I open my mouth to scream, two more men grab me and pull me off to the side. Pine trees block us from being seen by the people inside the studio, and we''re too far from the road for the cops to see. I kick and struggle, trying to pull away, but they don''t let go. My heart races wildly in my chest, but I don''t think about anything but getting away. When we''re far enough away from the house and still hidden by the tree line, they throw me to the ground. I fall hard, skinning my palms. Frantically, I look around for Kate, but she''s gone. There''s no sign of Cara either. I try to stand and run, but one of the men aims a gun at me.


    "I wouldn''t do it, if I were you."


    I look at his face, but don''t recognize him at all. "Who are you? What do you want?"


    One of the men produces a branding iron. The tip is glowing red. He steps toward me and then stops suddenly, like someone sees him.


    I turn and see Cara walking up swiftly behind us. I tell her to run, but she doesn''t listen. She keeps walking toward us with an agitated look on her face. "What part of this didn''t you understand? The brunette wasn''t supposed to be touched. You guys mess up everything. Give me that." She snatches the branding iron from his hand and the man steps away, head down.


    I stare at her. Time seems to slow. The look she gives me is so triumphant, so smug. She holds the hot iron in her hand and lifts the end toward me. "It''s an ''A'' for ''adulterer.'' Maybe it''s cliche to make someone wear an A on her chest for the rest of her life, but it seems fitting." The corners of her lips curl.


    "It was you? You were the one who torched Jackson''s car last night. You were the one who orchestrated the stabbing." My eyes flick to the side, but I don''t run. Not with that gun so close.


    "Maybe. Maybe not. People do all sorts of things when you ask them to." She smiles at me and looks at the iron in her hands. "I don''t usually come out to this sort of thing, but when Jack''s name came up in the paper, I had to come. And branding his bride will bring me nothing but pleasure." She steps forward, holding the iron like she''s really going to brand me.


    I step back. Panic laces through my throat. When I suck in air, I pause. The stench of smoke fills my head. I glance around, knowing it''s nearby, but I don''t see the plume. "What did you do?" I ask Cara.


    She smiles broadly. "Making sure Jack gets what deserves. He didn''t escape his fate this time, Abby. Jack was always going to burn." She steps closer. I try to back away again, but the man with the gun steps behind me. I can''t move. Cara holds the branding iron over my heart and says, "Oh, and by the way, in case you were too stupid to realize it, I am Wrath, and today is Judgment Day." She thrusts the hot iron forward. It burns through my shirt and touches my skin. I flinch backward. It only made partial contact, but tears fill my eyes as a scream rips from my throat. "Hold her," she hisses.


    Everything is happening so fast. I can see the smoke now. It''s over the cottage. I have to get to Jack. I don''t care if she burns me. I don''t care about anything but him. I grab the hot end of the iron. It sears the A into the palm of my hand as I rip it from Cara''s grip. There''s a look of shock on her face. For a moment she does nothing. Tears streak from my eyes and I release the iron. The pain shooting up my arm is so intense, but all I can see is that smoke. Jack is in there. I take off, but one of the men grabs me. He throws me down and the other pins me to the ground. Cara returns with her iron. There''s malice in her eyes. "It doesn''t count if you do it yourself." Cara glances back at the large billows of smoke and smiles. "Looks like things are about to get good. You''re little sweetie was in there, wasn''t he? As soon as the flames hit the propane tank, I''m afraid you''ll be all alone. Too bad you couldn''t save him, isn''t it?"


    As she finishes the sentence, there''s a loud explosion. The cottage. Jack. I can''t move. I can''t breathe. The man that has me pinned is looking at the big black cloud hanging over the studio. I turn my face and realize I''m close enough to bite him. I sink my teeth into his wrist. He releases me with a howl of pain. I twist to the side, but I don''t get very far. I see flashing lights and know they''re there. The police saw it, but in my heart, I know it''s too late. She did something to Jack and left him inside. That''s why she wasn''t at her desk when Kate and I were in the gallery.


    With the explosion ringing in my ears, something snaps. Instead of tears, I feel rage. I don''t stop kicking, scratching, and screaming. When I''m twisted on the ground, Cara tries to brand me again. I grab the iron and smack the man holding my legs, hard. He collapses, muttering a slew of swears as he falls. The man with the gun looks at Cara and then back at me. He yells for the other man to get up. Everything happens so fast after that. I skitter away, keeping the iron clutched in my hand. The tip is cooling off, but it still glows dimly.


    Cara stomps her foot and hisses, "Fix this, now, or I swear to God, you''ll never work for me again."


    Just as I get to my feet, I see hands reaching for me, but they don''t connect. The man stops suddenly and his eyes roll back into his head. He falls forward. I jump out of the way and see Kate standing behind him with a brick in her hand. "Okay, where''s the bitch that tied me up? This brick is for her." Kate''s gaze locks on Cara. Her arm winds back and she hurls the brick at Cara''s head. Cara turns to run, but the brick still connects. It smashes into her arm and we hear a loud crack.


    The man with the gun turns and points it at me. Kate and I put up our hands and start saying, "Don''t shoot." The man is large with big hands. His pale bald head is covered with sweat. Cara is gripping her arm, trying not to scream. She snaps at him.


    The man slowly steps toward us, but says to Cara, "This isn''t part of the plan. Last night you killed that kid, and he had nothing to do with this. Now you''re doing it again. The mark was Jack Gray. We got him. Let''s just get out of here." As he talks, he moves toward us. Kate and I stare at the barrel of the gun. My throat is so tight that I can''t breathe. She grips my hand and I squeeze, thinking that he''s still going to pull the trigger.


    Then everything changes. There''s an angry cry that comes from beside us. The man with the gun turns to look, but it''s too late. A dirty figure races straight toward him. Kate and I drop. I finally realize what I''m seeing. The man attacking the gunman is smeared with soot. It''s Jack. The gun goes flying through the air. Kate rushes forward on her hands and knees and grabs it. Jack''s fists slam into the man below him over and over. His body is pumped with rage; his muscles are corded tight, ready to pop.


    I run to him and pull him away. Jack takes me in his arms and holds me tight. He has a nasty gash where blood is dripping into his eye.


    "Where the fuck is everyone?" Kate yells, turning on her heel. There are flashing lights, but they haven''t found us yet. The property is big, but not that big.


    Jack is coughing, leaning into me. "They''re at the cottage. The explosion lured them all there."


    Kate gets to her feet at the same time as Cara. The man Jack punched is breathing hard on the ground, and the one Kate hit with the brick still can''t stand. There''s a lot of blood dripping down his neck. Cara starts to back away, but Kate points the gun at her. "Where is Gus?" she asks, her voice shaky. "Did you kill him, too?"


    Cara lifts her hands and holds them, palms out, toward Kate. She shakes her head. "I didn''t have a problem with you or Gus. You both got in the way."


    Kate steps toward her with murder in her eyes. "Tell me you killed him. Say it and I''ll pull the trigger so fast - "


    "Drop the gun," a male voice booms behind her. We all look, our hands going up slowly. It''s a cop. Finally. Kate takes a deep breath and drops the gun to the ground. "Step away, Miss." The policeman has his weapon drawn. It''s still fixed on Kate. She does as he says and he puts her in handcuffs and calls for assistance.


    As soon as help arrives, the world goes blurry. I hear things, but they sound far away. When the police ask what happened, I feel so heavy that I can''t stand up. I fall forward, slipping between Jack''s burned hands and hit the ground. The grass feels cold on my cheek. I blink once and the world goes black.

 Page 19

    JACK


    Jack stares at Abby''s bandaged hand while she lays in the hospital bed in the emergency room. He''s supposed to be in another room, but Jack won''t leave her. He can''t believe that she is safe, even after knowing that Cara was the one gunning for him. The police have been able to confirm her identity as Wrath, now that they''ve taken her into custody. The woman was caught because she was cocky. She never thought anyone would think it was her. Everyone thought Wrath was a man. In the past, by the time things went to hell, Cara always disappeared. This time, she stayed too long, hell bent on branding Abby.Advertisement


    Jack looked at Abby''s arm and her hand when they were admitted. She''s going to scar. That memory will haunt Abby for the rest of her life. Abby stirs in the bed. Her eyes blink open slowly.


    "Hey, lover," he says with a soft smile on his face. His head feels like it''s been hit by a frying pan. That bitch knocked him out when he was in the cottage. Jack looked up, saw her, and didn''t suspect her of a thing. By the time he saw the brick in her hand, it was too late.


    Abby smiles and then winces. "Jack," she breathes, "you''re alive."


    He nods and strokes the hair out of her eyes. "So are you."


    "Gus and Kate?" she asks, coughing. Jack hands her a cup of water to sip.


    "Are both fine."


    "I thought I heard you in here," Nate says.


    "You were standing on the other side of a sheet. I''d be worried about you if you didn''t," Jack says. Every inch of his body hurts, but it''d be impossible to be any more thankful than he was right then. Abby is safe. Kate didn''t shoot the dick that stuffed Gus into a closet.


    "I''m glad you''re alive, Jack. I''d miss those witty little comments of yours." Nate smiles at him and shakes his head. "Listen, I know you''ve had a rough night, but I need your testimony. The people who did this to you are locked up and we want to keep them there. Abby, we need to know what happened. Yours is the part of the story that''s missing."


    Abby presses her lips together and nods. She holds the cup of water in her good hand and recounts what happened. It takes every ounce of restraint that Jack has not to react. This already happened. It''s over now. When Abby is finished, Nate thanks them. As he leaves, he turns back to Jack, "This had nothing to do with your paintings, by the way, well, at least not the way you''d originally thought."


    "What do you mean?" Jack asks.


    "Cara Popadoplis has worked in many different places over the years. It was one of the ways that she got in and out without being noticed. Some of these attacks were years in the making, including yours. A few years back, her sister modeled for you. Cara had pictures from that shoot on her computer along with a rejection letter from you. Apparently she applied for the same gig and you picked her sister instead. Rather than deal with the jealousy that was there, Cara started to build a record against you. We think the media coverage of you and Abby put her over the top. She''s not all there, Jack. She thought she had the right to do what she did."


    "You think she''s going to plead insanity?"


    Nate laughs. "I doubt it. This whole thing was premeditated. She was obsessed with you, Jack. I can''t imagine what she would have done if you did hire her back then." He nods his head and leaves.


    Jack sighs and sits next to Abby on her bed. "I wish I could fix this." He takes her bandaged hand and gently turns it over. "I''m so sorry, Abby."


    "Jack, you''re alive." Her eyes are glassy as she looks at him. "When Cara told me what she did, that when I heard the explosion, you''d be..." She sucks in a raspy breath, shaking. "Then it happened and I thought I lost you."


    Jack wraps his arms around her. "I''ll always be here for you, Abby. I''m not going anywhere."


    For the next few weeks Jack and Abby took things slow. Kate and Gus on the other hand, were sucked into a whirlwind wedding. When Kate thought she lost Gus, she realized how much she loved him. After that night, the two of them couldn''t be pulled apart with a crow bar.


    Kate sits at the table with Abby every day, planning her wedding for the following spring. "My mother is driving me crazy, Abby. I can''t take it anymore." Kate sighs and drops her head to the table, resting her face on the side of a bridal magazine.


    Jack watches them from the counter. He pours Abby a cup of coffee and then gets his own. Kate thumbs through the pages, watching them fall. "What does Gus think?"


    "Gus thinks we should just elope, but I don''t know. I wanted you to be there."


    "So, we''ll come," Abby says. She elbows Kate and grabs the magazine. She flips back a few pages and points. "You can get married at this place." Kate''s eyes glance over at a picture of the crystal clear water. "It''s really pretty and I heard they do a good job. You don''t have to do anything but show up."


    Kate perks up. She snatches the magazine, looks over the ad, plucks her phone from her pocket, and wanders away without another word. Seconds later, Abby can hear her voice from the hallway asking about dates.


    Jack laughs and sits across from her. "Kate''s mom is going to kill you."


    Abby shrugs. "Maybe, but this will make Kate happy, and I see her more than her mom."


    "How are you feeling?" Jack asks. He''s noticed she''s sleeping better, but that doesn''t mean anything.


    "I''m fine, Jack."


    He takes her hand and says, "You''re amazing, you know that?"


    Abby smiles softly. After a moment, she says, "Is the new painting going to be displayed next week?" The tour ends in New York next week, and the new painting of Abby has been added to the exhibit. Kate''s boss loved that they got something no one else did. And since it was Jack revealing a new piece, it means lots of press for them.


    "Yes, they were happy to take it. Gus was out there this morning."


    Abby is quiet for a moment, then asks, "Were there protesters?"


    "None." They both smile.


    "Holy ass cakes, Abby," Kate says, rushing back into the room. Jack laughs, but Kate talks over him. "I booked it. Pack your stuff. We are going to Bermuda." She screeches and jumps up and down.


    "Does Gus have a passport?" Jack asks, breaking into Kate''s happy dance.


    "Oh, shit. I don''t know." Without another word, Kate races out of the room, dialing as fast as she can.

 Page 20

    ABBY


    A couple of days later, I''m wearing an ugly lime green gauzy bridesmaid''s dress with a huge bow on my head. Kate loved getting even for the gown I picked out for her. Jack walks down the sandy beach aisle with me on his arm. We smile at each other. Jack moves to stand by Gus, as his best man.Advertisement


    Kate appears, dressed in a slinky white gown. It''s understated, and exactly what she wanted. She looks like a 1940''s Hollywood starlet. I can''t help but smile at her. Kate is beaming. She tries to walk slowly, but gives up about halfway down the aisle. She bounces on the balls of her feet and then runs to stand next to Gus.


    They say their vows and kiss. Jack and I couldn''t be happier for them. After the wedding, we go have dinner on the beach, just Jack and me. Somehow Jack arranged for it without me realizing what he''d done. We sit listening to the surf, watching the sparkling water.


    "You know, Mr. Gray, I sort of remember something about a promise I made to you a while back. It had something to do with fulfilling a fantasy on a beach. Do you remember that?" I hold up my glass and take a sip.


    Jack grins at me. "As a matter of fact, I do recall something about that." He smiles, thinking that I''m teasing him.


    Night is falling. The conversation drifts and by the time we finish dessert, it''s dark. I look at Jack across the table. After he takes care of the check, we take a walk along the beach, down by the water. When we''re alone, I lean into him. Jack wraps his arms tightly around me. I stop. We''re far enough away from the restaurant that no one should stumble upon us.


    Turning to Jack, I look up into his eyes. "I want to do this with you. Make love to me, Jack." I lean forward and press my lips to his. Jack''s body tenses when I say it, like he can''t believe it.


    Tension lines his body. "Abby, are you sure?" His voice is too high, like he''s nervous.


    I nod. "I want to be everything you need. I don''t want to waste a second of my life wondering about anything anymore. I know you want this and I want to give it to you. I want to try it, Jack. Please."


    His eyes darken, "Well, when you say it like that, how can I tell you no?"


    The night air is warm and thick. I feel my clothes sticking to my skin, and suddenly my skirt feel too warm, my top too tight. I want them gone.


    Jack reads me perfectly. He closes the space between us and kisses me on the lips lightly, his teeth nipping my lower lip. The contact is sudden and sharp. It makes my heart race faster. Neither of us speaks. Jack slips his hands under the hem of my shirt and rubs his thumbs along the waistband of my denim skirt. He watches me, taking in my expressions.


    I lean forward and bite his lip, like he did to mine. Jack lets out a slow breath. He slides his hands under my shirt, drifting up to my waist, and feeling my soft curves. When Jack reaches my shoulders, he stops and his hands drift down my sides again. The touch makes my heart pound harder. Every thought in my head flutters away.


    Jack steps closer, closing the tiny gap between us. His hands remain on the skin at my waist as he dips his head and I feel his teeth graze my neck. My knees nearly buckle at the unexpected bite. I thought he was going to kiss me.


    I wonder if this is the original fantasy or if it changed over the years. My head falls to the side as Jack kisses my throat. He finds the place that makes me melt. Any rational thoughts I have left die in my brain. They fall like stones and lust bubbles up in their place.


    I press my body against him, wanting him closer, but Jack steps back. Breathing hard he takes the bottom of my shirt in his hands and starts to lift it. He moves the fabric up so slowly, feeling my skin as he peels the shirt off of me. My breath catches in my throat. Jack''s eyes are locked on mine. His beautiful lips part as he breathes and his desire darkens. With one smooth movement, the shirt is over my head and I''m standing on the beach in a skirt and bra.


    Jack''s eyes are hungry. He looks down at me with an expression on his face that makes me feel more animal than woman. It frightens and excites me at the same time. My pulse shoots up and roars in my ears. A shiver rakes over my skin as Jack''s eyes pass over me. I realize that I''m holding my breath, waiting for him to touch me.


    When Jack reaches for me, he takes me by the waistband, slips his hand down the front of my skirt, and pulls me toward him. I gasp when we slam together. His hands move under the denim, around the back and he feels the smooth skin under my panties.


    Fear pinches me again and I feel its full force. I''m going to be naked, outside. I''m going to have Jack thrusting into me where anyone could see. Every inch of me is excited. My muscles flinch, like I''m ready to run.


    Without saying a word, Jack pushes me back. His eyes fall on mine as his hands unbutton my skirt. I try to breathe steadily, but the way he watches me makes it hard. The button opens. Jack yanks my skirt, tugging it toward him. He falls to his knees in the sand. Jack''s face is in front of the zipper. My heart hammers harder. I place my hands on his head and tangle my fingers in his hair. I breathe deeply and suck in the night air.


    Jack slowly lowers the zipper. The entire time he does it, I wonder if we''re going to get caught. When his hands reach up and pull down my skirt, I can barely breathe. Jack lowers the denim slowly, still kneeling in front of me. He leans in when my panties are revealed and presses his face to them, inhaling deeply. I suck in a breath and clutch his hair harder.


    I don''t know what he''s going to do and it''s driving me to the edge. Every time Jack touches me, sparks shoot through my body. Warmth spreads through me in a way that can''t be stopped. It doesn''t matter how much I fear it-I want it. I want him to strip me. I want his face between my legs. I gasp as he pulls away and removes my skirt completely, tossing it aside.


    Jack''s hands slip up my bare legs, moving slowly across my skin and up to my little black panties. His thumbs hook under the sides. My heart jerks inside me as he pulls them down. Throwing my head back, I gasp and stare up at the stars. My hands fall to my sides. I ball my fingers up and then stretch them as far as they''ll go. I fight every urge within me, letting him strip me. The wind blows between my legs and I can feel how much Jack has turned me on. When I breathe in, my nipples press against my bra. I want his hands on me. I want Jack inside me. I flex my hands again as I feel the panties pass slowly over my hips, and then my knees, and finally they fall around my ankles. Jack takes them from me and tosses them out of sight. There''s no going back.


    Legs parted, I stand in front of Jack, wearing nothing but a bra. I''m too afraid to speak. My heart pounds within me, and it''s all I can do to hold still. I want his mouth on me. I want him to do things to me, here and now. The urge strikes me so hard that it''s all I can do to control it. Jack tempts me so much. I''m within a hair of sanity when he leans forward and I feel his breath wash over me. Every urge I have says to grab him, but I don''t. I want him to experience this the way he dreamed it would be.


    Jack leans in close, pressing his face to the spot between my legs. I moan as I feel his nose against my skin. He inhales deeply, allowing my scent to fill his head. Then he stands and looks at me. Jack''s dark eyes travel up my body, lingering on every dip and curve, until his gaze rests on my bra. Stepping toward me with those intense dark eyes, he says, "Beg me."


    I''m barely breathing. Anticipation is building inside me, overpowering the fear of being discovered. Looking into his eyes, I answer with the words he wants to hear, "Strip me, Jack. Please..." I lift a hand, meaning to touch his chest, but Jack doesn''t let me.


    Instead he steps behind me. He slips his hands around my bare waist and pulls me flush against him. I feel him press in my back. Oh God, he''s so hard. Jack rubs against me through his clothes. My head falls to the side as I let out a rush of air. The falling feeling inside me expands and I feel like I''m going to be swallowed whole. The sensations wisping through me make me want him so badly.


    I try to turn toward him, but Jack locks his arm and holds me tight. His other hand drifts over my stomach and down farther and farther until he touches that spot between my legs. He strokes me once, then again. The desire grows with every second he touches me. Jack''s breath washes over my neck. The warm breeze moves between my legs. The sensation drives me wild. I''m losing my mind. I don''t care where I am or what I''m doing. I want him. I want to writhe against him, but Jack doesn''t release me. "Jack," I beg, saying his name.


    He presses his lips to my neck and finds the spot. He kisses my skin slowly as his fingers work their magic between my legs. When my knees start to buckle, he stops. His hands release me. I gasp, wanting him back. I nearly turn around, but I feel his hands cup my breasts before sliding slowly around to my back.


    "Oh Jack, please." I''m begging him to strip me, and I mean it. I know he hears it in my voice.


    The bra is peeled off of my skin and tossed onto the sand. Breathing hard, I expect him to hold me, but he doesn''t. Jack steps away and walks in front of me. His eyes drink me in, like he can''t believe this is happening. Jack steps toward me once he''s looked so long that I can''t stand it for another second. I shiver as he leans in slowly and presses his lips to mine. My hands reach up and tangle in his hair as Jack''s hands slide over my naked body. He presses tightly against me, letting me feel his hard, lean body through his clothes.


    I slip my hands under his shirt. I don''t know if he wants me to, but I do it anyway. Jack lets me take his shirt off of him. He stands before me in jeans with a beautiful bare chest. I press myself against him and look up into his eyes. Jack smiles down at me. When I reach between us for his pants, his hands grab my wrists, stopping me.


    "No, Abby. Not yet." Disappointment flashes across my face. I want him so badly. I can''t believe he''s telling me no, making me wait. Jack falls to his knees and says, "Come here."


    My heart hammers inside of me. I take a shaky step toward him and then another. "Closer," he commands. I take the final step so that his face is at the V of my legs. Jack leans in I feel his tongue slide along the seam of my lower lips. I gasp, not expecting it. Jack slips his tongue along the seam and licks hard. I feel him brush against me, licking from top to bottom.


    The response is instant. I want more. My ankles move apart and Jack dips his head between my legs. Looking up, he pushes his tongue in and licks me hard. Suddenly, I can''t breathe. My entire body is heat and there are flames in every place that Jack touches me.


    When my knees buckle, Jack takes the opportunity and kisses me harder. I can barely stand. I feel my knees weaken, but I don''t want him to stop. My eyes are half closed, but when they flick open and I see where I am, my heart races harder. This is wrong. Sex is private and Jack is making love to me very publicly.


    The thoughts fade when Jack''s tongue pushes inside me, deeper and deeper. When my knees give way, Jack catches me. He lowers me to the sand. I gaze into his eyes and see a look of pure satisfaction. Jack smiles wickedly at me and grabs my ankles, pulling them over my head. Then his face disappears. He works his magic between my legs, nibbling, sucking, and kissing me. I rock my hips against his face, needing to find some release, but Jack only teases me more.


    Every inch of my body is on fire. I grasp at the sand, frustrated at his tongue''s teasing pace. When I see Jack''s face again, he''s beaming. He knows exactly what he''s done to me. Jack strips quickly and before I can beg him for anything, he''s kneeling over my face, pressing his beautiful length to my lips. "Suck me, Abby."


    My body tingles at his words. I open my mouth and take him in. Jack sighs as he pushes deeper into my mouth. I want to swallow him whole. My legs fall apart as my hips move against nothing. I love Jack so much. I love making love to him. There''s nothing that could stop me now. I don''t care where the sand is or who''s watching. I can''t stop. I need him like I need air.


    Jack''s warm shaft slides into my mouth over and over again, each time pushing farther. He''s straddling my face. I reach for him and dig in my nails into his hips, pushing him farther into my mouth. I suck in a sharp breath and take him all the way in. My mouth closes around his base. Jack sighs, blissfully, and holds it there for a moment as my tongue works over the rest of him. Jack pulls out slowly, and when he looks at me, there''s a huge smile on his face.


    "You are so incredibly good at that."


    Licking my lips, I say, "I want more." Jack beams at me, but shakes his head.


    His hand dips between my legs as he talks to me. His rich voice is complimenting me, telling me how sexy and beautiful I am, but I can''t focus. The tight coil inside of me is on fire. I try so hard not to lose it as Jack''s hand touches me in just the right way. Pressing my eyes closed tight, I look away from his face. I clench, withholding the orgasm that wants to shoot through me.


    Jack watches me, and dips his head to my breast. His warm breath flows over my skin, nearly undoing me. Jack''s smiling now. "Come for me, baby."


    I shake my head. I want to come with him, but Jack has other plans. His lips find my nipple. My body rebels and I feel the slow throbbing building within me. Jack''s hand rocks with my hips and he slips another finger into me. I thrust harder against him, which makes his kisses grow more demanding. He takes my sensitive breast between his teeth and gently tugs the taut skin. My body responds and I cry out, slamming my hips into his hand. Jack thrusts his hand into me over and over again, until my movements slow, until the throbbing ebbs. I open my eyes and look up at him. I still feel his fingers inside me.


    "Hello, lover," Jack says, his voice deep and sexy.


    I smile at him. "I didn''t mean to - "


    "Shhh, I wanted it this way." Jack moves his hand slowly, and starts rocking into me gently. Everything feels so sensitive. His fingers move gently inside me, pressing into me deeper and deeper. Jack''s eyes watch mine as he does it. I wonder what he sees. I wonder if he knows how much I love him, how much I want him.


    His head dips to my breast again and Jack works me into another frenzy. I can''t believe how quickly he does it. I''m straining, pressing my hips against his hand and my breast against his mouth, but it doesn''t satisfy me this time. Instead, the need grows deeper and more carnal.


    I can only focus on one thing. I reach for Jack and feel how hard he is in my hand. Jack moans as I slide my hand over his hard length, holding him tightly. His lips lift from my breast, freeing it. The warm breeze feels good against my skin. Jack watches me holding onto him. I move my hand over him, feeling how hard he is, wanting him inside of me.


    Jack sees the darkness in my eyes and leans back. A smile forms on his mouth. Jack lays back in the sand and props himself up on one elbow to watch.


    Heart pounding hard, I crawl toward him and take him into my mouth. I can''t resist. I take him in once, twice, and on the third time, I slip my mouth down his entire shaft. Jack''s eyes close when I do it, but he quickly forces them open. He watches me as I hold him there, sucking his length.


    The moment arouses me so much. I feel the place between my legs throb, and I know I want him there. I pull away and move to climb onto him, but Jack stops me. He stands and leads me to the water. His blue eyes are filled with lust as he pulls me in with him. The water washes away the sand stuck to our legs as we go in deeper and deeper.


    Jack stops when the water is up to my chest. He lifts me onto his hips. I wrap my legs around his back as he pushes into me. I gasp and lock my ankles around him. Jack holds me up, cupping my ass, gripping me hard. I tilt my hips to take him all the way in. He feels perfect. I''m so lost in the moment, so one with him that I lose myself. Jack moves with me, like we''re one. I no longer know where I end and Jack begins. We move together...


    I lean my head back and stare up at the sky. I watch the stars flash as Jack pushes into me over and over again. When I can''t stand it anymore, I lock my legs around him as tightly as possible. Jack knows what I want and he gives it to me. Thrusting as hard and fast as he can, Jack pumps into me. His body slams against mine, making me divinely hot. Every inch of me tingles.


    I release his shoulders and lay back on the ocean watching my breasts bounce as Jack thrusts over and over again. I come fast and hard, squeezing my breasts as I do it. Jack slams into me harder and harder as the pulsing begins. There''s no stopping him. This is his fantasy and I''m sharing it with him. He slams into me until he can''t hold back. Jack holds my hips hard, stilling my wiggling hips against him as he finds his release. I close my eyes, savoring the sensation, savoring Jack.


    Breathlessly, I sit back up out of the water. Putting my hands on his shoulders, I ask, "Was it everything you hoped it would be?"


    "All that and more. What did you think?" My face grows hot. I don''t know how, but Jack notices. "Are you blushing?" He tickles me gently and I nod.


    "I liked it, Jack, a lot." He holds me in his arms and kisses me hard.


    The moment is burned into my memory in vivid detail and I loved every second of it.

 Page 21

    Chapter 38


    JACKAdvertisement


    When they get home, Abby seems much better. Jack told her that there would always be protesters, that there would always be people who disliked his work and everything he stood for. Abby understood, but she hadn''t realized that it would be an ongoing thing. Every time Jack''s name comes up, it sparks the whole thing to life and the cycle repeats itself, as it has for every show in the past. But now things are different. With Abby by his side, the words don''t cut as deep.


    A few weeks pass and as Jack paints, Abby seems to spark back to life. That piece of her that she''d been hiding is emerging again and Jack can''t wait to see what happens. Abby will disappear for hours during the day, usually with Kate in tow. Jack has no idea what they are up to, and he doesn''t want to ask. Fragile things like hope need room to grow.


    One Monday morning, Abby comes to Jack and takes his hand, pulling him toward the car. "There''s something that I want to show you."


    Jack grins at her. "You mean the something that you and Kate have been working on? The something that I''m not supposed to know about?" His voice is light and teasing. He stops walking and takes her in his arms, smiling. The wind catches her hair and Jack tucks the fiery strands behind her ear. Abby deflates. Her eyes lower to the ground, to her shoes. It''s like all the excitement washed away. Jack could kick himself for saying it. Quickly, he adds, "I have no idea what you''re really doing, Mrs. Gray. I just like to pretend that I do." Lifting her chin, Abby eyes him, trying to tell if he''s being honest with her.


    After a moment, she laughs. "You have to stop doing that to me. I spent the last few weeks setting everything up. I wanted it to be a surprise."


    Jack tickles her lightly, just to see her smile again before taking her hand and following her to the car. When he gets into the passenger seat, he sees a blindfold on the dashboard. He lifts it and asks her, "Are you planning something kinky?"


    Abby''s face flushes. She slaps his arm and starts the car. "Not this time. Now, put it on and stop messing with me. I''m really nervous about this. I''m afraid you won''t like it."


    Jack looks at his wife. She has hope in her eyes again. He can see it. No matter what this is, he knows it''s important to her. "I''m sure I''ll love it." He ties the blindfold and the car lurches forward. Jack''s heart races a little bit as they drive. Abby is uncharacteristically quiet.


    When the car stops, Abby comes around and takes his hands. She leads him from the car. Jack can feel gravel crunch under his feet and a cool breeze on his face. He can feel Abby''s breath on his neck. She must be standing on her tippy toes behind him.


    Abby''s hands touch his shoulders gently. "I''ve been thinking about what to do next, Jack. The reason why I went to seminary in the first place was so that I could help people. I wanted to make a difference. I think I can make a difference here. I think that I can do something good. Just give it a second to sink in before you say anything." There''s a slight tremor in her voice, like she''s afraid of what he''ll think.


    When Abby''s hands lift the blindfold from his eyes, Jack''s jaw drops. They are standing in the middle of a busted up parking lot with the remains of a dilapidated warehouse. The metal building is a dingy yellow with a broken windows. A portico is hanging haphazardly over the front entrance. It looks like it''s been abandoned for years. Weeds fill the parking lot, pushing their way through what''s left of the pavement. The building is probably condemnable.


    Jack doesn''t understand. He can''t see what Abby has envisioned here. Taking her by the hands, her pulls her around in front of him. She looks so cute when she''s nervous. Abby sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and looks up at him with big green eyes. Jack says kindly, "You have to give me a little more information, beautiful. I have no idea what you see in this place. I just hope you don''t want to live here."


    Abby laughs and smiles hard. "No, I don''t want to live here, but I do want it." She turns toward the building again and says, "It would be perfect. No one else wants it and it''s in a bad location for just about everything - "


    "Except for what you want to do?" Jack asks.


    Abby nods. She twists her hands together and stares at the building while she speaks. "I want to do something to help the poor. I decided that the best way to inspire others is to practice what I preach. This building is perfect. There''s still metal shelving inside. It''s not too big, and not too small. And there''s nothing else around. It''s like a little oasis." She sighs looking at it.


    Jack still can''t see what she sees. He slips his hands around her waist and leans his chin on the back of her shoulder. "Tell me more. What would you do here?"


    Staring straight ahead, Abby paints him a picture of her dreams. Abby smiles as she says it, her hands moving through the air as she points and explains. "It would be a place to get food, clothing, and blankets. In the fall, when schools start up, it''s hard to come up with money for sneakers, backpacks, and jeans - you know, the kind of stuff we had. I''d want to stock those kinds of things, along with non-perishables, coats and blankets for winter. There are a lot of kids that go without. It would be a donation station specifically aimed at helping impoverished families with children, so they can get the things they need. I don''t want to wait for someone else to do it anymore. I thought that if I expect people to do this kind of thing, that I should do it as well. There are so many kids that don''t have the basic necessities to excel. I want to give them that - I want to give them the chance to succeed." She presses her lips together and looks at the shack like it''s a mansion. Her vision is so clear, so full of heart. The way she stands there staring, makes his decision easy.


    Jack says in her ear, "It sounds wonderful. Tell me more."


    Abby takes a deep breath and goes into more detail about the warehouse and the daily activities of finding donors and families in need. She''s thought everything out. The road isn''t in a prime location, but she''s already found a means to deliver the goods to the families. She has donors lined up to help her get started. When Jack hears her speak, he knows the part of her that was broken is mending. She''s excited again - hopeful.


    "This is what was missing," Jack says, but Abby doesn''t understand. She turns and looks up into his face. Taking her hands, he smiles. "This is the one thing that I couldn''t give you, the one thing that completes who you are as much as painting completes me. I''ve not seen you like this since we were kids, Abby. You have that sparkle in your eye again, that light that draws me in and makes me believe that one person can make a difference, because you make a difference. You started with me, and I know you''ll do so much more." He glances past her at the hellhole in front of him. "When you look at this place, you''re face lights up. It''s like you can already see it. I want this for you. Tell me who we need to talk to, Abby, and it''s done."


    She grins the most beautiful lopsided smile he''s ever seen. It''s sweet and girlish, as her eyes sweep to the side. "You don''t have to buy it, Jack. It''s mine, if I want it. Kate talked the owner into donating it. He said it was a blight on his business and was really happy to get rid of it. I just wanted to see what you thought first. If I do this, it means that I won''t be at the studio all day. It means I''d be working for free, here." Abby''s eyes search his, as she holds her breath, waiting for his answer.


    "There isn''t a day that goes by that I am not completely amazed by you. You think with your heart, and you have such a brilliant mind, one that can see how to run this place perfectly. All I see is a broken building, but you see so much more. You do the same with people, too. Broken facades don''t faze you at all." Abby is smiling harder and harder, but as Jack speaks, her gaze drops to the ground, like she can''t bear his compliments. He lifts her chin. When she looks into his eyes, he says, "Yes, I would love to see you do this, but there''s one condition."


    "What is it?"


    "I want to help you. I want to be a part of this. I want to learn to see things how you see them, Mrs. Gray." His hands are in her hair. Jack pulls her mouth to his and kisses her. When they separate, there are tears in her eyes.


    Abby smiles widely and clasps her hands together excitedly. She squeals and takes his hands. "Really?"


    "Truly," Jack says, pulling her close to his chest. He closes his eyes and holds her tightly. Life is made up of little moments like this one. These are the moments when the world stops and time stands still - a moment when one life connects to another.


    When Abby pulls away, she has an expression on her face that he hasn''t seen before. She presses her lips together tight and smiles at him. "There''s one other surprise, Mr. Gray." She''s beaming, but her lips part and words don''t come out.


    Jack''s eyes don''t leave hers. "What is it? Is there a circus bear inside?"


    She shakes her head. "No," she laughs. "Come here and I''ll show you."


    Jack follows her wondering what could possibly make her smile like that. She pulls out keys and steps around the broken overhang. Jack follows her inside. There are no lights on, but he can see perfectly well through the broken windows. Shafts of light cut through the dark room. It''s already been swept up and the tiled floor is clean. There, in the center of the vacant room, is a white bassinette. Ruffles of lace make a long skirt that hangs to the floor.


    Jack stares at it, standing there all alone. His heart jumps into his throat. It feels like his ribs are going to be crushed by some unseen force. Jack turns to Abby with his pulse pounding and a shocked expression on his face. "We''re having a baby?"


    Chapter 39


    ABBY


    I nod. Butterflies fill my stomach. I didn''t know how to tell him or when. It was Kate''s idea to push his pulse up into heart attack territory twice on the same day. I stupidly went along with it. For a moment, I think that he''s going to be mad. We''ve barely had any time together. We''re still newlyweds trying to figure out what we want our life together to look like.


    I twist my hands together nervously watching Jack turn in slow motion. He''s standing in a shaft of life that shines through the broken window. His hair has a golden halo, like he''s an angel. Jack walks toward me, his eyes locked on mine. My heart hammers harder. Why hasn''t he said anything? I expected a smile or a sigh, not this.


    Jack stops in front of me. He takes my face between his palms and looks into my eyes. Every inch of his body is tense with emotion. I''m afraid to breathe. "Are you sure?" He stares at me, looking into my eyes like this can''t be happening. I can''t read his face. It''s like his emotions are short-circuiting. The only thing I see are those intense sapphire eyes.


    My pulse pounds harder. I nod and press my lips together. "Yes, without a doubt." I expect him to be upset from the way he acts, but the biggest smile I''ve ever seen lights up his face. It reaches his eyes in a flash and he laughs the most beautiful laugh that I''ve ever heard.


    Jack holds my face and presses his forehead against mine. My heart soars. He picks me up and spins me around. I cling to him, as he spins me in his arms. When Jack puts me down again, he says, "That is so much better than a circus bear!" He takes my face again and kisses me hard.


    I laugh while tears streak my cheeks. I''ve been such an exhausted, nervous wreck for the past few weeks. Now I know why. "You''re happy?"


    "God, yes! I''m ecstatic. I''m smiling so hard my face hurts. How long have you known?" He holds my hands and looks at me.


    "I found out yesterday. Kate cleaned the floor for me. I didn''t tell her why. Then, this morning, I had just enough time to put the bassinette in here and come and get you before you noticed." I look up at him from under my lashes. "But I guess you noticed that I kept disappearing, didn''t you?"


    "Yeah, but I had no idea what you were doing."


    I glance around the building and then back at Jack. "I should have rented a bear. That would have been awesome."


    Jack laughs so hard his entire body shakes. Then he takes me in his arms again and kisses my lips excitedly. "I love you so much. I couldn''t have asked for better news. My wife is pregnant and she owns the ugliest building that I''ve ever seen. It''s a perfect beginning, Mrs. Gray."


    Jack pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. A year ago, I had no idea what my future would hold. Now, today, I know that it has more love than I ever expected.


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