《Inferior by Nature》


 CH 1

    It was completely quiet in the hallway, and nobody else was present. When I peered around, all I could see was a lifeless darkness with no end in sight.


    Lines of ice crept bit by bit toward me along the floor, and even my breaths came out in puffs of white mist. In front of me was a wooden, beige-colored door with a little glass window set in it. I could see the classroom through it, dyed a warm yellow from the setting sun.


    Unlike the darkness I was in, that place seemed cozy and bright. Two teenagers wearing school uniforms sat in the very center of the room¡­ locked in a wanton kiss.


    At this hour, there shouldn¡¯t have been anyone else in the classroom. ¡°Everyone is gone, so I won¡¯t be discovered¡±; that was my thought process, so presumably, that was theirs as well. The love that they couldn¡¯t reveal and had to suppress during the day could finally be fully divulged here in this quiet classroom.


    The teenager with his back to me was slender, and his right hand was propped weakly against the chest of the person in front of him, as if he was incapable of bearing the brunt of such a passionate kiss and wanted to push the other person away. However, before he could do anything, the other teenager grasped his pale wrist firmly, encompassing it entirely in a wheat-colored palm, not giving him any chance to refuse.


    Not only that, the other person also sunk his fingers into the smaller teenager¡¯s ink-black hair, constantly tightening his grip and forcing their kiss to deepen even further.


    Veins snaked across strong arms, and the outlines of his bulging muscles were sleek and beautiful, brimming with power. The taller teenager¡¯s hair was cut very short, making it seem both stiff and prickly, but also exceptionally neat. His eyebrows were dark and elongated, causing his eye sockets to appear particularly deep in contrast.


    Clearly, they were wearing the same school uniform and were the same age. But while one of them still exuded the fragile air of a youth¡ªeven from behind¡ªthe other one had already started showing the makings of a ¡°man.¡±


    Ran¡­ Qingzhuang¡­


    My lips opened and closed fruitlessly. My voice was stuck in my throat, and not a single sound came out.


    This name was like a taboo; I couldn¡¯t even say it properly in my dreams.


    I watched him¡ªI watched as he reveled in that sweet kiss, as tenderness softened his entire face. Even though we were only separated by a single door, it felt like we were in two entirely different worlds.


    Suddenly, Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s eyes flashed open, as if he had sensed a third party spying on them, despite being immersed in intimacy just a moment earlier. His ice-cold, piercing gaze shot straight towards me, like a fierce beast that had discovered its prey, and his intimidating, alert expression scared me into hastily backpedaling.


    A second later, the ice underneath my feet shattered with a loud crack, and I plummeted into the darkness.


    ¡ª


    ¡°Number 47 Ji Ning, number 47 Ji Ning, please come to Room 1 for your consultation.¡±


    I opened my eyes. My heart was racing fiercely, as if it was about to leap out of my chest at any second.


    I was still a bit muddle-headed from being abruptly woken up, and I sat there for a while to recover. It was only when they began calling my name for the second time over the broadcast system that I quickly got up and entered the nearby Room 1.


    An older doctor sat in the consultation room. He wore gold-rimmed glasses and had a very kind appearance. He was one of Chonghai¡¯s best neurosurgeons, and he was also my attending physician, surnamed Wu.


    ¡°Xiao Ji, has your head still been hurting lately?¡± As he spoke, he pulled out two CT scan images from the bag I handed to him. He inserted the photos into the X-ray film viewer next to the desk and started examining them closely.


    ¡°It hurts occasionally, but it stops after about ten seconds or so. It isn¡¯t too hard to endure.¡± I sat across from him and recalled bit by bit the recent changes in my health. ¡°It¡¯s just¡­ I¡¯ve noticed that my memory has worsened. There are a lot of things that happened in the past which I can¡¯t remember very clearly anymore.¡±


    For example, all of a sudden yesterday, I couldn¡¯t remember the name of the senior high school I had attended no matter how hard I tried to recall it. Even though it was clearly on the tip of my tongue, I just wasn¡¯t able to say it. Panicking, I overturned everything and searched for my graduation photo for a long time, only to remember in the middle of the night that the photo was back at my old home. I hadn¡¯t brought it to Chonghai at all.


    Doctor Wu gripped his pen and gestured in a circle over the image. ¡°The tumor hasn¡¯t grown any larger, which is good. But considering how dangerous its location is, there¡¯s still a risk that it could ¡®explode¡¯ at any moment. Have you made your decision yet? Will you proceed with conservative treatment, or will you undergo surgery?¡±


    This wasn¡¯t my first time coming to see him. Half a month ago, he had already distinctly explained the two paths to me¡ªconservative treatment: although I didn¡¯t know when I would die, at least I could still lead a decent life for quite a few more days; surgical treatment: although it gave me a fighting chance at survival, it was highly likely that I wouldn¡¯t even be able to leave the operating table.


    ¡°If I choose conservative treatment, how much time do I have left?¡± I asked, staring at that blurry, circular shadow on the CT scan.


    Doctor Wu hesitated briefly before he said, ¡°At most, half a year.¡±


    Half a year. Perhaps I could hang in there until my little sister finished her college entrance exams¡­ I could also take advantage of this period to earn some more money and cover the cost of her university. That way, even once I was no longer here, my mom wouldn¡¯t be too worried about money.


    ¡°Then half a year it is. That¡¯s enough time.¡± I said.


    Doctor Wu nodded. ¡°Your forgetfulness and headaches are most likely caused by the tumor. Since we can¡¯t remove the origin of those symptoms, all I can do is prescribe some painkillers for you. Your illness will become more severe as time progresses, so make sure to exercise a lot and stay free from worries. Perhaps that can help alleviate it somewhat.¡±


    After thanking him, I put the CT scan images into my bag and left the consultation room, holding the file containing my medical history. As I was walking out, the next patient squeezed impatiently into the room, accompanied by their family members. The patient was extremely thin and pale, and they appeared to be shockingly haggard.


    I unconsciously substituted myself into their shoes and felt a bit apprehensive. Maybe I would also end up looking like that in the future.


    ¡ª


    Right after I returned to my apartment, Fang Luosu called and reminded me not to forget about tonight.


    I glanced in passing at the cello resting in the corner and said, ¡°We¡¯re meeting at six tonight at the pier, I remember.¡±


    Fang Luosu and I were both cellists in the same symphony orchestra. She was clever and knew many different people, so sometimes when our orchestra didn¡¯t have any performances going on, she would accept a few private events on her own¡ªproviding musical accompaniment at a cocktail party, livening things up at a wedding reception. If she needed more people, she would pull me in too every now and then so that I could also make some extra cash.


    ¡°Did you tell Nan Xian yet?¡± I asked.


    Nan Xian was my university classmate and a Chonghai local. He returned to Chonghai after graduating from college, whereas I happened to come to Chonghai for my job. He had always been the extremely friendly type, so when he saw that I was all alone in a new city, he often invited me out for meals or hikes. Occasionally, he also came to listen to our concerts, and over the course of time, he and Fang Luosu fell in love and got together.


    Strictly speaking, I could be considered their matchmaker.


    Nan Xian didn¡¯t end up joining an orchestra after graduation. Instead, he became a cello teacher at a youth organization. His personality was warm and kind, while Fang Luosu was bright and candid; they were especially well matched, and their relationship had always been very solid. Once upon a time, I used to think that they were the epitome of love.


    That was all the way up until two weeks ago, when I discovered Fang Suolu having an affair.


    That day, I accidentally lost a little trinket that was attached to my phone. My younger sister was the one who had given it to me, and while it wasn¡¯t anything particularly valuable, it held quite a bit of sentimental value to me. So when I discovered that it was missing, I immediately started recalling all the places where it could¡¯ve possibly fallen off. In the end, I remembered the theater¡¯s changing room.


    In order to check whether or not I had dropped the keychain in the changing room, I turned around and went back to the theater, even though I was already almost home.


    Thick carpet covered the floor of the hallway, and it created no noise at all when you stepped on it. The door to the changing room was cracked ever so slightly open, allowing ambiguous sounds to drift out from inside.


    My hand, which was about to wrap around the door handle, drew back like it had been electrocuted. I stared at the narrow gap in the doorway, bewildered and uncertain. It was just a few noises, but I felt like the female voice inside the room sounded a bit familiar.


    ¡°Lao Xin, this time¡­ no matter what, it should be my turn now, right?¡± The woman¡¯s voice was a breathy mess, and it lilted seductively at the end.


    I wasn¡¯t a security guard at the theater, so it didn¡¯t matter to me who wanted to seek a thrill inside the changing room. I should¡¯ve left at that point for the sake of not inviting trouble. But because I wanted to confirm if the woman inside was Fang Luosu, not only did I stay, I even held my breath and continued to eavesdrop.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯re definitely going to be the new principal cellist.¡± The man panted roughly as he said vulgarly, ¡°My precious darling, since I¡¯m doing so much for you, you better please me properly tonight.¡±


    After receiving the man¡¯s promise, the woman seemed to be in an extremely good mood, and she let out a flirtatious hum.


    ¡°I knew you¡¯d be good to me¡­¡±


    I had never heard Fang Luosu sound like that before. My stomach turned abruptly, shock mixing with disgust, and I essentially bolted out of there with a hand propped against the wall for support.


    That nauseous feeling only receded bit by bit once I was outside and breathing in fresh air.


    Not long ago, the symphony¡¯s former principal cellist had resigned due to some personal reasons. As for who would become the new principal cellist, both Fang Luosu and I were among the candidates in the symphony who were held in the highest regard for that position.


    I knew that Fang Luosu was very ambitious and wanted the position, but I didn¡¯t think that she would actually go that far to get it.


    There was no way I could go back to find the keychain now, so I went home instead. After tossing and turning for an entire night, I went to work listlessly the next day. As I was tuning, Fang Luosu arrived in front of me with a smile and extended her hand. A tiny yellow lemon dangled from her fingers.


    ¡°You left this in the changing room yesterday. I saw it and picked it up for you,¡± she said.


    She didn¡¯t seem to feel any guilt whatsoever.


    Lowering my eyes, I took the keychain and stuffed it into my pocket. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    Fang Luosu: ¡°No problem.¡±


    She turned around to walk away.


    ¡°Actually, I did go back to search for it yesterday. Congratulations on becoming the new principal cellist.¡±


    My bombshell came out of nowhere and caught Fang Luosu completely off guard. Even now, I still remember her panicked appearance and how the blood drained from her face entirely when she looked back at me.


    I gave her a choice¡ªeither I would tell Nan Xian, or she could do it herself. She chose the second option. However, two weeks had already passed since then, and she still hadn¡¯t done a single thing about it. I wasn¡¯t sure if she was purposefully dragging it out, or if she truly was having a hard time broaching the subject with Nan Xian; perhaps both were true.


    ¡°Give me a little more time.¡± Fang Luosu¡¯s voice was a bit obstructed over the phone. ¡°It¡¯s not that easy to bring up this sort of thing. I love Nan Xian, I don¡¯t want to see him suffer¡­¡±


    I interrupted her. ¡°I¡¯ll give you one more week.¡±


    Whenever she showed her affection for him before, I was always happy for their sake. But now, I only felt that it was ironic and even unbearable to listen to.


    Fang Luosu paused before she said weakly, ¡°I understand.¡±


    Humans were born inferior by nature. The slightest carelessness was enough to send us spiraling down the wrong path. Like a discordant note that was played incorrectly, any deviation would instantaneously destroy this song called ¡°Life.¡±


    Starting from birth, we should be carefully considering every decision we have to make. That was what my mom had taught me since I was young, and the negative example she gave was also exceptionally persuasive¡ªmy dad, Ji Xueguang.


    When I was eight years old, my dad found himself a mistress while my mom was pregnant with their second child, and he frequently met up with the mistress in private under the pretense of working overtime. With her big belly, my mom would always wait for him late into the night. She thought that he was working hard to support the family, so she even stewed quite a bit of nourishing soup for him during that period of time.


    Perhaps she had nourished him a bit too much. Those comfortable days didn¡¯t last long before he suddenly suffered the wrath of the heavens. Due to a little too much excitement, he ended up dying in the middle of sex on the mistress¡¯ bed.


    How absurd, how utterly shameful.


    My mom didn¡¯t even hold a memorial service for him. Instead, she directly cremated him and dumped all of his ashes into the ocean.


    She started to believe in religion after that, and she was always going on about things like the causality of karma. In addition, she gradually grew more and more extreme when it came to her children¡¯s education. She was severely strict, and we weren¡¯t allowed to make any mistakes; as if by doing this, she could prevent our fundamentally ¡°inferior¡± genes from causing mischief.


    I didn¡¯t become religious with her, but after listening to her for so many years, my ideologies did end up assimilating somewhat. I didn¡¯t believe in anything else, but I did believe in ¡°retribution.¡± If you did something wrong, you would be subject to retribution; you reap what you sow.


    So, you had to do your best to make things right, to improve upon them before they became ¡°even worse.¡±


    ¡ª


    At six in the evening, I arrived punctually at the pier, dressed in performance wear with my cello on my back.


    By the time I arrived, Fang Luosu was already there, chatting with the other people on the pier. When she saw me, she made her way over of her own accord and naturally introduced the other members of this temporary, small-scale orchestra to me. I shook hands with each of them and gave a simple self-introduction. Soon after, the crew members in charge of ferrying us to our destination arrived as well.


    Even though the crew members were all dressed very formally in suits and dress shirts, large stretches of tattoos could be seen on the exposed skin of their arms and necks. Various eyebrow, lip, and nose piercings also adorned their faces, revealing the unusual nature of these people.


    ¡°Is everyone here? If so, let¡¯s go, don¡¯t waste time.¡± The young, unusual-looking crew member counted the number of people present. After he confirmed that everyone was there, he brought us onto a white yacht moored nearby.


    The yacht was extremely spacious and decorated luxuriously on the inside. There were barely any bumps as it sped along the surface of the ocean, and there wasn¡¯t an unpleasant scent of diesel fuel either.


    ¡°Are we going to that legendary ¡®Lion King Island¡¯ today? Do you think we¡¯ll encounter any of those classic movie situations, like human trafficking, an arms deal, or a gambler¡¯s hand being chopped off?¡± a young woman asked Fang Luosu in a whisper. She hugged her violin close to her and shot a glance at the closed cabin door.


    ¡°You¡¯ve seen way too many movies. It¡¯s hardly going to be that extreme.¡± Fang Luosu said, amused, ¡°There is a casino on the island, but it¡¯s on the east side, and we¡¯re not going there today. The Jin family lives in the ancient castle on the other side of the island. I¡¯ve been there a few times before this, and I haven¡¯t encountered any murder, arson, or mysterious events. They¡¯re more or less the same as any typical wealthy family.¡±


    ¡°But typical wealthy people don¡¯t have this many henchmen working for them¡­¡± The girl shot a meaningful look towards the bow of the yacht.


    The Jin family?


    I paused in the middle of wiping my glasses and asked, ¡°Helian Group¡¯s Jin family is hosting tonight¡¯s banquet?¡±


    Even though I wasn¡¯t from Chonghai, I had heard a lot about the Jin family. In university, Nan Xian always liked to share the Jin family¡¯s gossip with us.


    On the surface, Chonghai¡¯s Jin family operated the city¡¯s largest casino¡ªHelian Resort. But there were always rumors that they were colluding with numerous politicians, engaging privately in unclean business transactions, and building an extravagant money empire on a small island far from Chonghai. Like termites in wood, they were emptying out this country bit by bit from the inside.


    To the average Chonghai citizen, the Jin family was essentially synonymous to ¡°mysterious and wicked.¡± Even the people who worked for them were labeled as ¡°lackeys,¡± a term of address filled with loathing.


    ¡°Relax, it¡¯ll be fine. Today is Mrs. Jin¡¯s birthday banquet, and many notable figures will be there. It won¡¯t be dangerous at all.¡± Fang Luosu could see that I was concerned, and she spoke to appease me.


    Ever since I found out that she was having an affair with Director Xin, I had started to grow skeptical of every word that came out of her mouth. On top of that, my right eye had been twitching nonstop since we got on the boat, so even with her pledge, I still wasn¡¯t reassured.


    Fortunately, the yacht ultimately reached the shore without a hitch. After undergoing a strict security check, our group arrived at the castle¡¯s ballroom.


    We rehearsed twice before the banquet promptly began at eight. All the guests appeared to be dignified and¡­ ordinary, just like those ladies and gentlemen who came to listen to music at the theater. It was impossible to tell that they were important figures who could stir up trouble in every territory with a mere twitch of their fingers.


    Unlike our performances at the theater, we were only here to act as background music. Not many people were earnestly listening to us, so I also spaced out a little as time went on, and I started to peer around curiously.


    The banquet was being held in the Jin family¡¯s castle. Allegedly, this ancient castle was centuries old, but I didn¡¯t know which dynasty¡¯s king had left it behind, because I wasn¡¯t listening too closely when we were walking inside. I only heard our guide say: ¡°Even today, the castle is still perfectly intact in its original form, including the dungeons¡­¡±


    We weren¡¯t lucky enough to visit the dungeons, but it was evident from the ballroom that the castle was indeed preserved considerably well. You could even catch a glimpse of the bygone royalty¡¯s lavish lifestyle through the sumptuous decorations adorning the room.


    A multitude of enormous floor-to-ceiling arched windows lined one side of the long and narrow ballroom. Meanwhile, the opposite wall was embedded with mirrors that were the same exact shape as the arched windows. The ceiling too was covered with clearly reflective brass. When all the crystal chandeliers were turned on, their light illuminated the brass ceiling and mirrors, turning the entire ballroom into a dazzling, glorious sight¡ªas resplendent as a crystal palace.


    ¡ª


    Just as I was marveling at the exquisite opulence of the ballroom, the thick and heavy doors at the entrance of the room opened once again.


    Everyone unconsciously looked in that direction. After they saw who the arrivals were, many people raised their wine glasses and started making their way towards them.


    Judging from the state of things, it seemed that today¡¯s stars had arrived at the scene.


    The performance stage was raised a little off the ground. As a result, I was able to observe the situation at the entrance without any impediments.


    The couple at the front was most likely the head of the Jin clan and his wife. The man looked cultured, refined, and somewhat scholarly. Even though he was already in his fifties, his age wasn¡¯t reflected much on his face. The woman had long, wavy hair, and she appeared to be slightly younger than the man. At most, she was forty years old, and she was very beautiful.


    A young man in his twenties followed close on their heels. He had an elegant, graceful appearance, as if he had combined all the best parts of the Jin couple¡¯s features. However, there was a faint air of impatience on his face, and his brows were furrowed, making him seem quite unapproachable. He held a little chubby child by the hand; the child was about seven or eight years old and looked rather similar to the young man. It was clear at first glance that the child was the young man¡¯s little brother.


    Nan Xian once told me that the Jin family had two sons. I couldn¡¯t remember what the older one was called, but the younger son¡¯s name was particularly delightful: Jin Yuanbao1.


    Two men followed the family into the room, shoulder to shoulder. One was bald and had an eyebrow piercing in the shape of a silver ring, while the other one¡­


    The other one¡­ was tall and broad, with chiseled facial features. Unlike all the other neatly- and appropriately-dressed attendees, he only wore a white tank top underneath his suit jacket, making him seem almost too much like a troublemaker. His hair was cut quite short, and it appeared to be stiff and prickly. He didn¡¯t seem to be in a very good mood.


    He surveyed the interior of the ballroom once before he swiftly left again without staying for long. His eyebrows were knitted together slightly, as if he wasn¡¯t especially fond of locations with a lot of people.


    When I saw him disappear in the doorway, I shot to my feet. Utterly disregarding the fact that I was still performing, I started to chase after him, but before I could straighten up completely, a sudden, severe headache forced me back into my seat.


    This tumor could¡¯ve acted up at any other moment, yet it just had to do so now?


    I propped a hand against my forehead, in so much pain that cold sweat rapidly covered my palm.


    Chaotic, fragmented scenes from my memory flashed before my eyes: wheat-colored arms, well-defined joints, muscles filled with explosive energy¡­


    And that bone-chilling line: ¡°I don¡¯t want to see you ever again, Ji Ning.¡±


    The face that had already become blurry in my memories gradually sharpened once more because of that unexpected reunion.


    ¡°¡­Ning?


    ¡°¡­Ji Ning? Are you okay?¡± Noticing my strange state, Fang Luosu stopped playing and leaned over to ask how I was doing.


    My head was still somewhat dizzy, but it didn¡¯t hurt anymore. ¡°I¡¯m fine, my stomach just aches a little. I¡¯m going to the restroom, I¡¯ll be right back.¡±


    I set down my bow. Without waiting for Fang Luosu¡¯s response, I stood up and started walking quickly towards the entrance of the ballroom.


    Translation Notes


    (press the ¡°^¡± to go back to your spot in the chapter!)

 CH 2

    I had always believed in the causality of karma, as well as appropriate retribution. Lao Ji¡¯s death and my illness were the best proof of both of those concepts.


    Because Lao Ji was unfaithful to his marriage and betrayed his family, his retribution was an unsightly death. I¡­ also did something that I shouldn¡¯t have, which was why I was being punished in such a way by God. So I didn¡¯t really feel like I was being treated unjustly, nor did I blame the heavens or anyone else; on the contrary, it was a liberating ¡°as expected, it came in the end¡± sort of feeling.


    Ever since I was young, my mom was very strict with me. Later on, after my dad died and the entire family fell onto her shoulders, she grew even stricter and also started to have higher expectations for me.


    I began learning the cello when I was four years old. My dad was still there at the time, so our family circumstances weren¡¯t too bad, and it wasn¡¯t a big deal to pick up an instrument as a way of cultivating an artistic mindset. But then my mother was left as the only pillar of the family, and our household income declined steeply. I originally shouldn¡¯t have continued learning this type of money-squandering instrument, yet my mom didn¡¯t allow me to quit.


    This family had to remain the same, regardless if there was a man in it or not. Although she never voiced it out loud, I understood her obstinance. She insisted on showing outsiders that even if her man was dead, she¡ªBai Xiuying¡ªcould raise us into people worthy of respect all on her own.


    My mother had to work extremely hard, and she didn¡¯t have it easy. In order not to cause her trouble, I never let her worry about my studies or cello practice; I also never felt like it was too much work for me to take care of my younger sister or help out around the house, because those were all things that I¡ªthe sole male in the family¡ªshould¡¯ve been doing. As long as I could ease my mother¡¯s burdens and do something for this family, I was willing to give anything a try.


    Consequently, I was overjoyed when I found out that my school had one guaranteed university admission spot open, which also included a hefty graduation scholarship.


    I wanted to obtain that spot. Even in my dreams, I wanted to.


    But sometimes, things just didn¡¯t proceed as one would hope. Though my grades were excellent, that wasn¡¯t the only factor the school considered when making their selection.


    Back then, the other most promising candidate was Lin Sheng. In terms of appearance, family background, and grades, he faintly one-upped me. Moreover, I was a person who only knew how to bury my head in my studies. I didn¡¯t really understand the ways of the world, whereas he got along very well with the other people at school. All the teachers liked him too.


    The things that some people strived desperately to obtain, that they toiled away endlessly for, were also things that other people could possess effortlessly. Never was I able to understand a truth more plainly than that¡ªthe disparity between two people could be so small and so large at the same time.


    If I didn¡¯t do something, I was going to lose. But how could I lose?


    He clearly already had everything, so why did he still have to come and steal what was mine?


    That unwillingness to concede burned incredibly bright in my chest. When I thought back on it, even I was a little surprised that I cared so deeply.


    Then, the incident that led to my retribution arrived.


    I don¡¯t remember why I didn¡¯t go home immediately after school that day; it was probably because I was practicing cello at school. As I was walking through the long hallway, I stopped in front of a classroom door. Through the glass window of the door, I saw Lin Sheng and Ran Qingzhuang inside the classroom.


    The two of them were kissing, oblivious to the world and my arrival.


    In an environment where guys and girls weren¡¯t even allowed to date early, it was obvious just how world-shaking and utterly shocking a romantic relationship between two men was.


    I could¡¯ve chosen to walk away silently, to act like nothing had happened, but I didn¡¯t.


    I reported them.


    This incident created quite a stir. One was a well-rounded student with a bright future, the other an orphaned troublemaker who was constantly picking fights and messing around. Almost all of the criticism was directed at Ran Qingzhuang.


    He was the one who led Lin Sheng astray and lured him in. He was the malignant tumor, so he should be removed.


    In the end, Ran Qingzhuang was forced to withdraw from the school, after which his whereabouts became unclear. Lin Sheng was sent overseas by his parents and never returned again. I was the only person who benefited from this incident, as I successfully obtained the guaranteed admission spot and entered the music department of a top-tier educational institution. And because of that generous scholarship, my mother was finally able to catch her breath for the first time in many years; she was temporarily freed from the heavy weight of living and didn¡¯t need to worry so much about money anymore.


    Perhaps I would make the same choice again, even if I was given another chance to do it over, but thinking about it now¡ªthat was most likely a test given to me by the heavens. They placed two paths in front of me, and I picked the wrong one, turning me into a shameful snitch. That was why I deserved to be plagued by sickness, to suffer a miserable death.


    This was my retribution.


    I used dishonorable methods to secure my victory. In doing so, I destroyed a beautiful, fated relationship, and I altered the bright futures that should¡¯ve belonged to those two people. I basked in a life that wasn¡¯t originally mine for eight whole years. Now, it was time to pay it back.


    To be able to meet Ran Qingzhuang in the final days of my life¡ªit was definitely another revelation given to me by the heavens! If I could earn his forgiveness before I died, my sins would then be reduced.


    ¡ª


    I walked swiftly through the corridor. It had started raining at some point outside, and brilliant flashes of lightning streaked through the clouds, indicating the imminent arrival of a thunderstorm.


    Raindrops splattered against the massive leaves of the Japanese banana trees in the courtyard. The constant pitter-patter was the most primitive form of music, contrasting distinctly with the melodious, lavish ballroom music floating over from afar. When the two sounds melded together and slipped into your ears, it created an entrancing and mystical dissociative feeling, as if you were simultaneously situated in two different dimensions.


    ¡°Yao-ge, it looks like the guests won¡¯t be able to leave the island today. The sea is about to get stormy.¡±


    ¡°Considering what just happened recently, don¡¯t lower your guard.¡±


    ¡°Understood.¡±


    I wandered around aimlessly. Since nobody stopped me, I unwittingly ended up making my way over to a set of open-air corridors built in the shape of a square. When I peered down from the second floor, I saw that it overlooked a courtyard filled with plants.


    With the help of the dim lighting, I could see a few men in black suits standing underneath the eaves of the corridor diagonally below me. As they chatted idly with each other, smoke drifted around them sinuously¡ªthey were all smoking.


    Since I was on the second floor, concealed by the vegetation and a curtain of rain, they didn¡¯t notice me.


    I half-narrowed my eyes in an attempt to see a little clearer, but I still wasn¡¯t able to tell if Ran Qingzhuang was among them.


    ¡°Yao-ge, why didn¡¯t you stay inside? Other people couldn¡¯t get such a great opportunity even if they begged for it.¡±


    The person called ¡°Yao-ge¡± replied somewhat indifferently, ¡°Too noisy.¡±


    ¡°Yao-ge doesn¡¯t care about fame or fortune, unlike that rotten snake who only wants to show off in front of the eldest young master all day long and has his guard up against us like we¡¯re thieves or something. Personal loyalty is the most important thing between brothers, but isn¡¯t he something else? He acts like he¡¯s in a palace drama with how he¡¯s constantly suspecting this person or that person. If he messes up one day, I¡¯m definitely going to set off firecrackers in celebration!¡±


    ¡°Count me in, that damn baldie has been a real eyesore for a while now.¡±


    ¡°His ma might as well have given birth to a hard-boiled egg instead!¡±


    ¡°Fuck, I love hard-boiled eggs, you¡¯re not allowed to badmouth them!¡±


    They started getting more and more into it, as if they were going to curse out the past eighteen generations of ancestors belonging to that ¡°hard-boiled egg.¡± Probably because it was truly getting a bit too vulgar, Yao-ge tossed his cigarette butt onto the ground and said at last, ¡°Enough of that.¡±


    The smoke dissipated, gradually revealing that person¡¯s appearance. His features were more defined and clear-cut than they had been in his youth, and he was extremely tall, 190 cm at the very least¡­


    It was indeed Ran Qingzhuang.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go walk around outside.¡± After the man said that, he turned around to leave.


    No, I couldn¡¯t let him leave again!


    I completely forgot that I could just call out to him as a way of stopping him. Instead, I frantically rushed down the staircase behind me.


    I was only on the second floor, but one flight of stairs had never felt so long before.


    Fortunately, by the time I made it downstairs, they hadn¡¯t gone very far.


    From the other end of the long corridor, I panted heavily and didn¡¯t give chase; I merely shouted his name at his back.


    ¡°Ran Qingzhuang!¡±


    The man walking in the middle of the group instantly stopped and glanced behind him, both hands stuffed in his pockets. He narrowed his eyes as he looked in my direction.


    Now that I was closer, I realized that there was a black tattoo on the back of his neck. It consisted of four numbers¡ª0417.


    Nan Xian once told me that all the people in Helian Group¡ªfrom the upper echelons to the henchmen¡ªbore unique numerical tattoos. This symbolized that they were a member of the organization.


    Which meant¡­ Ran Qingzhuang really was the Jin family¡¯s lackey.


    Why? He clearly said that he wasn¡¯t going to walk down the same old path as his father¡­


    Perhaps it was from the nerves, or perhaps I had chased after him in too much of a panic just now. Either way, even my knees were trembling at that moment.


    He stared at me for quite a while as his eyes traced slowly over my face and body, making me feel very uneasy. Finally, he seemed to recognize me, and he said something to the people next to him before he walked towards me all by himself. Meanwhile, the others swiftly departed.


    ¡°What awful luck this is.¡± He slipped a cigarette between his lips, ducked his head, and lit it with a click. He stopped about two meters away from me and exhaled white smoke from his nose and mouth as he spoke. ¡°Running into you here.¡±


    The choking smell of smoke floated towards me and bloomed against my glasses, making it seem like I was surrounded by fog.


    His words truly weren¡¯t very pleasant to hear.


    I pursed my lips. As if I didn¡¯t notice his unfriendliness, I forced a fake smile onto my face. ¡°What a coincidence, I didn¡¯t expect to see you here. Do¡­ do you work here?¡±


    He didn¡¯t say a single word as he smoked his cigarette. His gaze traveled down and landed on the purple boutonniere pinned on my chest¡ªa small bundle of grape hyacinths. When we arrived at the island, each person in the ensemble received a similar spray, whereas the honored guests in the ballroom wore golden wheat boutonnieres.


    ¡°I-I came with my friend¡­¡± I touched the boutonniere and said, ¡°We¡¯re performing for the party in the ballroom¡­¡±


    ¡°What exactly do you want to say?¡± Ran Qingzhuang tilted his head to the side and interrupted me impatiently.


    I stared at him blankly, a little stumped by his question.


    The rain started coming down harder and harder. The wall sconces in the hallway emulated the leaping motion of candle flames, casting flickering shadows across Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s face.


    ¡°I¡­ I just wanted to tell you¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure if my regret was conveyed to him properly or not. The rain was too loud, and my voice was too small.


    He looked at me for a long moment, the cigarette cinched between his fingers, raised next to his lips.


    The rain breached the hallway, slightly dampening half of my body. Tiny droplets of water also sprayed across my glasses.


    ¡°You¡¯re sick.¡± After spitting out those two words with faint revulsion, Ran Qingzhuang took a few steps back before he turned around and began striding away.


    He didn¡¯t even think that I was worth paying attention to¡­


    My vision was warped by the rain, and Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s figure gradually grew blurry. I was briefly stunned before I abruptly sprinted after him, spurred by a burst of courage that came out of nowhere, and grabbed onto his wrist from behind.


    Ran Qingzhuang lowered his head and glanced down at his hand. Then he said coldly, ¡°Let go.¡±


    I gave an uncontrollable quiver, but I continued to hold on to him tightly without loosening my grip.


    ¡°Can you forgive me?¡±


    Can you pardon me, absolve me of my sins, so that I can die peacefully without any regrets?


    Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s jaw tightened, and he looked up to meet my eyes squarely. He didn¡¯t speak, but his frightening expression was already a warning in and of itself¡ªif I didn¡¯t let go of him soon, he was going to beat me up.


    ¡°How about this? You can give me your phone number. We can¡ªI can contact you when you¡¯re in a better mood¡­¡± I kept one hand on him as I slipped my other hand into my pocket in an attempt to pull out my phone. Unexpectedly, right as I tugged it out, my body was pushed roughly away.


    I collided firmly against the white wall nearby as my phone slid out of my hand and smashed onto the ground a short distance away.


    A piercing pain radiated from my shoulder. I covered the injured area with my hand and lifted my head to look helplessly at Ran Qingzhuang.


    He adjusted his sleeve as if he had flicked some dirty object away from him. Then, he walked towards the other end of the corridor without sparing me a second glance.


    Once he disappeared completely from my line of sight, I finally managed to leave my static state. I churned back to life, like an old-fashioned mechanical gear that had been freshly oiled.


    I picked up my phone from the ground and inspected it. Sure enough, the screen was cracked all the way from the upper left corner to the bottom right corner; two little cracks branched out in the middle like deer antlers. Luckily, it wasn¡¯t very severe, so I could still get by with using my phone.


    ¡°But I really am sick¡­¡±


    Standing in the dim corridor, I mumbled quietly to myself as I sighed and wiped away the wet spots on the screen bit by bit with the palm of my hand.

 CH 3

    Due to the unexpected torrential rainstorm, everyone was detained on Lion King Island. Fortunately, there was a five-star hotel right next to the casino, so the guests didn¡¯t have to worry about finding a place to stay. Once the banquet concluded, the Jin family dispatched luxury cars to take the guests over to the hotel one by one.


    In contrast, we ¡°external personnel¡± weren¡¯t so lucky. We were casually assigned a few temporary rooms in the staff building next to the castle.


    The staff building was occupied solely by the employees who worked in the castle. The facilities weren¡¯t even as good as that of a guest house, much less a five-star hotel. If you needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you had to walk a couple dozen meters with a flashlight in hand, all the way down to the shared restroom at the very end of the hall.


    Xiao Ke, the worker in charge of finding a place for us to stay, said that the hallway lights in the building had been out for quite a while now. They had submitted a maintenance request some time ago, but nobody ever came to fix it. Since we were only staying there for one night anyway, he told us just to put up with it.


    Though the accommodations weren¡¯t particularly impressive, at least they were all single rooms, so we didn¡¯t have to squeeze together. This could probably be considered making the best of an unfortunate situation.


    I set my cello down in the corner of the dark room. Then, I opened the balcony door to check the weather outside.


    The balconies were extremely small, only big enough to fit about two people. They protruded from the exterior wall like a flight of stairs, and they were also very close together.


    It was still raining, but it seemed to be lessening. It would most likely stop before daybreak.


    It was especially quiet at night on the small island. The ancient castle nearby had already sunk into a deep slumber; only the street lamps on the ground level remained lit up. Every so often, you could see people in plastic raincoats patrolling back and forth throughout the area.


    Before Xiao Ke led us into the staff building, he specifically warned us not to roam around randomly during the night. We were close to the main residence, so security was tight, and we would likely be punished if we chose to wander around, since we were unknown personnel.


    When he said that, everyone simultaneously fell silent. Nobody was brave enough to ask what he meant by ¡°be punished.¡±


    There was the sound of a door opening to my left, and I looked over to see Fang Luosu stepping out of her room, wrapped in a wool coat. She held a pack of cigarettes in her hand.


    She didn¡¯t expect me to be outside as well. Slightly taken aback, she nodded at me in greeting.


    ¡°Are you feeling okay?¡± As she spoke, she skillfully drew out a cigarette from the box, along with a lighter from her pocket. Then she ducked her head and lit the cigarette.


    Before tonight, I never knew that she was actually a smoker.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I swept another glance at the dark, overcast sky before I turned around, intending to go back inside. ¡°You should go to bed after you¡¯re done smoking. It¡¯s cold outside.¡±


    Right as my hand landed on the doorknob, I heard Fang Luosu¡¯s voice ring out again.


    ¡°Do you think that¡­ I¡¯m pretty despicable?¡±


    Startled, I kept my eyes trained on the doorknob and didn¡¯t say anything.


    ¡°Really¡­ that was really the only time.¡± Fang Luosu said, trembling, ¡°Ji Ning, count this as me begging you. Don¡¯t tell Nan Xian. I¡¯ll yield the principal cellist position to you, I¡¯ll never fight for it again.¡±


    My fingers tightened around the doorknob as I looked at Fang Luosu in disbelief. ¡°Do you think that I¡¯m doing all this just to be the principal cellist?¡±


    With reddened eyes and an almost extinguished cigarette held between her fingers, Fang Luosu was caught off guard by my question.


    ¡°Th-that¡¯s not what I meant¡­¡± she denied hastily.


    I sighed and removed my glasses, a little exhausted. Massaging the bridge of my nose, I said, ¡°Nan Xian has a right to know everything. I¡¯m his friend, so I can¡¯t pretend like nothing happened¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant.¡±


    I froze in the middle of pinching my nose and turned to look at Fang Luosu in astonishment, wondering if I had misheard her.


    Fang Luosu took a shaking drag from her cigarette before she flashed an ugly smile at me. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s Nan Xian¡¯s. We were always planning on having children. I know that it¡¯s all my fault, I really won¡¯t make the same mistake again. Ji Ning, believe me. If Nan Xian finds out about me and Director Xin, he¡¯s definitely going to divorce me. Ji Ning, do you have the heart to ensure that this child is born into an incomplete family?¡±


    I stared at her pale face and suddenly felt the vague urge to laugh. This was too ridiculous. After all these twists and turns, I actually ended up as one of the vital links in this incident. Not only would my decision affect Nan Xian, it would also affect an innocent unborn life.


    This move of Fang Luosu¡¯s¡ªto advance by retreating, to conquer with softness¡ªwas indeed contemptible. But needless to say, it was effective against me.


    I knew all too well how important an intact family and a loving set of parents could be for a child.


    During the countless nights where my mother rushed about constantly for the sake of money, where she was so tired that she instantly fell asleep when she got home, I would always wish that my father was still alive. Even if he was a piece of scum, even if he was full of lies, at least he could help provide something if he were alive. We would also be able to get by without so much hardship.


    As long as I kept my mouth shut and pretended not to know anything, everyone could be a big happy family, filled with delight and satisfaction¡­


    This wasn¡¯t a decision that could be made right away, so I went into my room silently and didn¡¯t answer Fang Luosu. Ten minutes later, I heard the neighboring door close as Fang Luosu also went inside.


    ¡ª


    The balcony door kept clattering noisily because of the wind, making it hard for me to fall asleep. On top of that, incidents from high school kept surging through my mind, probably due to my encounter with Ran Qingzhuang earlier in the evening. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn¡¯t fall asleep.


    Like any other musical instrument, you had to practice the cello diligently if you wanted to be good at it. Unfortunately, our apartment building had particularly bad soundproofing, so you couldn¡¯t make much noise at all. Although I could practice if I installed a mute, it ultimately wasn¡¯t as accurate as if I didn¡¯t have one.


    In order not to cause any conflicts with our neighbors, I would sometimes carry my cello to school and wait until the end of the day so that I could practice in an empty classroom. Over time, the teacher found out and asked the school to specially set aside a vacant classroom for me, one that I could use just for practicing my cello.


    The story of how I came to know Ran Qingzhuang also began in that empty classroom.


    One day in my second year of high school, the teacher suddenly called me to the office and said that there was something they wanted to discuss with me.


    Uneasy and nervous, I thought that it was about something important, but I finally understood after listening to the teacher talk for a while¡ªa student in my year was receiving disciplinary action from the school due to fighting off-campus. The school was penalizing him by making him stay after school for an entire semester to clean. Somehow, one of the teachers had a eureka moment and suddenly thought of me; thinking that we were a perfect match, they advised the head of our grade to make me the supervisor of said student. I would make sure that the student finished his cleaning duties, and I would simultaneously help him with his studies so he could improve his grades.


    The school had assisted me quite a bit in the past. Since this wasn¡¯t an excessive request, I agreed without giving it much thought. At least it shouldn¡¯t be much harder than helping my little sister with her homework.


    As a result, after school let out that afternoon, I went to the empty classroom to practice my cello as usual. When I pushed open the door, I saw Ran Qingzhuang sitting kicked back in his chair. He looked bored out of his mind as he spun a pen between his fingers.


    I walked over to him and introduced myself politely. ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Ji Ning. If you have any questions you don¡¯t understand, you can ask me. I¡¯ll do my best to explain them to you.¡±


    Ran Qingzhuang swept a glance at me before he let all four of his chair legs settle back on the ground. He folded his hands over each other and slumped forward on the desk before he said in a muffled voice, ¡°You practice your cello, I¡¯ll take my nap. Don¡¯t bother me.¡±


    At first, he was extremely uncooperative. Even though he would report punctually to the empty classroom every day, he never interacted with me, nor did he do any of his homework. He only slept.


    The teachers didn¡¯t seem to care what he did either. Bearing an ¡°eternally grateful as long as he isn¡¯t causing trouble¡± mindset, they never asked me how my tutoring situation was progressing.


    I would generally stay until seven in the evening before packing up to leave. As I put away my cello and bow, Ran Qingzhuang would also stretch lazily and wake up. Then he would sling his backpack over his shoulder and leave a step ahead of me.


    At first, I was puzzled and didn¡¯t understand who he was putting on a show for. It was only later that I learned he was doing it for his grandma¡¯s sake.


    The old woman was also probably aware that Ran Qingzhuang wasn¡¯t very easy to manage. She was extremely happy after she learned that the school had found someone who could help her grandson with his homework every day after school. One time when it was raining, she came to bring an extra umbrella to the school, and she held my hand and thanked me for a long time.


    Later, after Ran Qingzhuang withdrew from school, I went to his house to try and find him. I discovered then that his grandma had already passed away, whereas he was nowhere to be found.


    ¡ª


    A strange, soft sound abruptly came from outside of my room, as if something had struck the balcony door. It immediately dragged my thoughts out of my old memories and back into reality.


    I didn¡¯t turn on the light. Instead, I put on my glasses, stuffed my feet into my slippers, and got out of bed to investigate.


    The wooden balcony door swung open gently towards the inside of my room. The rain had already stopped at some point outside, and the salty sea breeze curled through my hair, carrying with it several loud voices from downstairs.


    It was so late. Why was it still this noisy down there?


    I wanted to poke my head out and see what was going on down below, but right as I took a step outside, a large palm shot out from the side and firmly covered my nose and mouth. A chilly sensation pressed against my neck.


    The smell of tobacco slipped into my nose, mixed with the earthy scent of rain. Eyes wide, I was so terrified that I couldn¡¯t make a single sound, and my body went so stiff that even my breathing stopped.


    A dark and windy night¡ªthe snowstorm villa method¡ªmurder on an isolated island?


    In the span of a few short seconds, many things flashed across my mind, unexplainable and chaotic.


    ¡°Don¡¯t make any noise,¡± the other person said in a hushed voice as he pushed me into the room and crowded me into the corner.


    This voice¡­


    My head shot up. Borrowing the feeble rays of light shining in from outside, I locked eyes with the other person.


    Ran Qingzhuang probably didn¡¯t expect to run into me so coincidentally either, and a trace of astonishment flitted through his eyes. The dagger against my neck moved away slightly.


    We met again in a strange location less than twelve hours later. But why did he appear so late at night on my balcony? Could it be that the more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he detested me, so he came to kill me as a way of silencing me?


    Before my imagination could run even more wild, I heard the sound of people banging on doors in the hallway. The knocks started traveling closer and closer; it seemed to be a room inspection.


    The hand covering my nose and mouth abruptly increased in force. Ran Qingzhuang stared at the door of the room with a somewhat apprehensive expression.


    ¡°Open the door, open the door!¡±


    ¡°Stop sleeping, hurry up and open the door!¡±


    The commotion outside grew ever closer. Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s muscles tensed bit by bit, like a leopard that was fully on guard and was prepared to jump up and attack at any moment.


    Those people are here in pursuit of Ran Qingzhuang. Right as that thought popped into my head, Ran Qingzhuang released his hold on me and dragged me over to the bed before pushing me down onto it.


    I toppled onto the puffy bedding. Before I could react, he straddled me and started to take off his clothes.


    ¡°Help me.¡± Panting, he swiftly shed his shirt and loosened his pants. His expression was strained, but his voice was very calm. ¡°After tonight, I¡¯ll write off everything that happened between us.¡±


    My head was stuffed full by this abrupt turn of events. For a period of time, it ceased to function well, so I couldn¡¯t really understand what he meant.


    However, Ran Qingzhuang began pulling at my clothes before I could say anything. His actions were too rushed, and he even tore off two of my shirt buttons.


    ¡°Open the door!¡± At that moment, the room inspectors just happened to arrive outside of my door.


    Through my clothes, I could feel Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s dagger pressed against the side of my waist like a kind of warning, telling me to choose my words carefully.


    ¡°Open the door quickly! If you¡¯re not gonna open it, we¡¯re going to force it open!¡±


    The banging on the door grew even louder. Ran Qingzhuang silently jerked his chin towards the door, indicating for me to answer.


    Lying on my back underneath him, I swallowed and raised my voice to ask, ¡°What is it?¡±


    The person outside thumped heavily on the door and said, ¡°We need to come in and take a look, hurry up and open your door!¡±


    ¡°Right now, it¡¯s¡­ it¡¯s inconvenient.¡±


    ¡°Fucking hell, what could possibly be inconvenient? Don¡¯t be so delicate, open the door for laozi¡­¡±


    It went briefly quiet outside before a different male voice suddenly spoke. This one was more hoarse and chilly than the other one. ¡°Force the door open.¡±


    The instant that voice spoke, Ran Qingzhuang pressed his lips together tightly. Then, he clasped both my wrists in one hand and pinned my arms above my head, before he lowered his head and bit down on my neck.


    On the narrow and disheveled single bed, Ran Qingzhuang was mounted on top of me, exposing his firmly muscled upper body. Meanwhile, the front of my shirt gaped open as my chest heaved violently; for some unknown reason, I arched my back.


    When the door of my room was kicked open from outside, this was the ambiguous scene displayed to the new arrivals.

 CH 4

    Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s lips caressed the rim of my ear. In a voice that only the two of us could hear, he said, ¡°Don¡¯t move.¡±


    My struggling, which arose from the excessive shock caused by him biting my neck, immediately stilled. I attempted to relax my body, but I couldn¡¯t stop my trembling at all. For a brief moment, I even wondered if I had triggered epilepsy as a secondary disease.


    ¡°Yao¡ªYao-ge?¡± The blinding beam of the flashlight pierced straight through the doorway and froze on our faces.


    I averted my face slightly, evading the bright light.


    ¡°Remove it.¡± Ran Qingzhuang kept a tight grip on my hands, but his tone of voice dropped sharply and abruptly in temperature as he turned towards the people standing outside the door.


    The flashlight shook a bit before it shifted away frantically.


    ¡°Pardon me, Yao-ge, we¡­ we didn¡¯t know you were¡­¡±


    Before he could finish, someone next to him cut in.


    ¡°What are you doing here?¡± This person¡¯s voice was hoarse and frigid. It roughly generated the illusion of a snake flicking its tongue out as it slithered across dried leaves, and it belonged to the same person who ordered the door to be forced open earlier.


    I slanted my gaze over a little. By the faint glow of the flashlight, I recognized the voice¡¯s owner: it was the baldie who had followed Young Master Jin into the banquet hall earlier, side-by-side with Ran Qingzhuang.


    ¡°What am I doing here?¡± Ran Qingzhuang chuckled lowly. The tremors produced by his laugh were transmitted distinctly to me through the places where our bodies were touching. ¡°What do you think I¡¯m doing here?¡±


    I made a subconscious attempt to free my arms, only for Ran Qingzhuang to press them back down without batting an eye. His grip tightened even more, causing my wrists to ache dully.


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t help but let out a pained moan, though I quickly bit down on my lip and swallowed all the sounds back down.


    The baldie likely misunderstood something, and there was a noticeable delay in his response. Then, in a surprised but derisive tone of voice, he said, ¡°It¡¯s been so many years, yet I never even knew you liked men. Not bad, Lao Yao.¡±


    Their relationship was difficult to understand, and they didn¡¯t seem to get along very well. Through that short exchange, I could tell that there was mutual hostility between them.


    ¡°I make sure to inform She-ge of everything She-ge should be aware of. As for what She-ge doesn¡¯t have to know, there¡¯s no need to worry about it. Checking rooms so late, did something happen?¡± Ran Qingzhuang changed the subject.


    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s nothing much. We spotted a rat that was probably trying to sneak into the main residence, so I did a check just in case.¡± The baldie leaned next to the door; he didn¡¯t seem to have any intention of leaving. ¡°Don¡¯t mind me, you should continue.¡±


    How were we supposed to continue? Disregarding the fact that Ran Qingzhuang and I weren¡¯t in that kind of relationship at all, there was also nothing to ¡°continue¡± in the first place. Even if there was, in front of an audience like this, how could the average person just cont¡­


    My lips were covered completely. Ran Qingzhuang invaded my mouth forcefully and roughly like a sharp-edged sword, cutting off my ability to think entirely.


    My nose and mouth were filled with a foreign smell and taste, an unfamiliar touch.


    Because of the dark surroundings and tense atmosphere, I couldn¡¯t help but make an absurd association. I felt as if I had fallen into the ocean, as if I were sinking deeper and deeper amidst roaring gales and towering waves; dangerous seawater poured into my nose and mouth, cruelly stripping away my life force bit by bit.


    My fingertips convulsed in an attempt to grab onto something, but their freedom was being firmly suppressed, so I could only grasp futilely at the air.


    Shocked and frozen, I bore the brunt of Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s kiss. Like an incredibly devoted actor, he threw himself into the scene in front of our audience, fully in the zone. It was so passionate that anyone would have a hard time believing our previous conversation had ended in my phone being horribly shattered.


    ¡°Excluding patrol members, nobody is permitted to walk around as they please after nightfall. Rules are rules. Go and explain yourself to the eldest young master tomorrow.¡±


    The resounding slam of the door dragged me out of my dazed state and back to reality. The room went silent once more, and Ran Qingzhuang and I were the only ones left inside it.


    Crisis averted, the man above me waited for a moment to confirm that nobody was doubling back before he released my hands and got up without any reluctance whatsoever. Facing the closed door, he let out a long exhale.


    I almost forgot to breathe when my mouth was covered earlier. Now that nothing was obstructing it anymore, I got ahead of myself and gasped for air a bit too urgently. Air slipped into my dry passageways and generated an irrepressible itch. The continuous coughs I let out as soon as I opened my mouth were especially conspicuous in the quiet, cramped room.


    Only then did Ran Qingzhuang seem to remember my existence, and he looked over at me.


    I shivered and did my best to suppress the sound of my coughing, but the more I tried to do so, the more I couldn¡¯t contain it. I ended up coughing on and off for quite a while.


    Perhaps he was getting a little annoyed by my coughing. Ran Qingzhuang furrowed his brows, and his expression grew somewhat impatient.


    I clamped my hand even more tightly over my mouth and felt a bit of wet coolness stain my fingertips. Dizzily, I thought to myself, Maybe it was left behind by Ran Qingzhuang earlier.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell anyone what happened here tonight.¡± Once my coughing stopped, Ran Qingzhuang finally spoke.


    He put away his dagger and threw his long legs over the side of the bed. Sitting on the edge of it, he began to put on his shoes.


    ¡°I¡¯ll leave in an hour. Do whatever you want.¡±


    I fumbled for my phone and checked the time. It was already half past three in the morning.


    The bright white light from the phone made Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s face seem even more unyielding and unreadable.


    There were a lot of questions floating through my mind. I observed him for a moment before I couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°¡­Why are you here?¡±


    I didn¡¯t dare to speak too loudly, and thanks to my continuous coughing earlier, my voice was somewhat low and hoarse.


    Ran Qingzhuang was putting on a pair of black combat boots. When he heard my question, he paused in the middle of tying his shoelaces and looked at me. ¡°I already told you. After tonight, everything that happened between us in the past will be written off completely. Why I¡¯m here, what I¡¯m doing¡ªnone of that has anything to do with you.¡±


    I pressed my lips together. Worried that he couldn¡¯t see what he was doing clearly, I turned on my phone¡¯s flashlight for him. He didn¡¯t thank me, nor did he even glance in my direction again.


    His figure was highlighted all the more clearly under the illumination of the flashlight. There were too many scars to count, both large and small. Some looked like healed knife wounds, while a few of the smaller ones were shaped like radiating fireworks. I didn¡¯t know what those were from, but they looked similar to gunshot wounds.


    Just what exactly has he been through, these past few years?


    ¡°What happened to your finger?¡± Our first encounter had progressed too abruptly, and I didn¡¯t have time to pay attention to anything else. Now, with the flashlight directed at Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s hand, I finally noticed that the little finger on his left hand was warped unnaturally, almost as if¡­ he wasn¡¯t able to recuperate properly after breaking it, and it had ultimately healed crooked.


    He finished tying one of his boots, and he lifted his foot to tie the other one, completely ignoring my existence.


    As my gaze settled on the black tattoo on his neck, my fingers curled and gripped the bed sheet underneath me tightly.


    ¡°Why did you turn into this type of person?¡±


    You were undoubtedly meant to become someone better than this. Was it because of me? Because I reported you and Lin Sheng, forcing you to drop out of school¡ªwas that why you ended up living this kind of life?


    Was it me?


    It was all because of me.


    ¡°Do you still remember? You once asked me what type of person I wanted to become in the future. I told you that I would be satisfied as long as I could provide for myself and my family, and you laughed at me for not having a dream.¡± It was like I was delirious. Those words seemed to have a force of their own, and they tumbled out of my mouth without passing through my brain first.


    Ran Qingzhuang suddenly stopped moving, and his expression transformed from cold detachment to wariness. ¡°Enough, don¡¯t say anything else.¡±


    ¡°You said that in the future, there was no way you would walk down the same path as your father¡­¡±


    ¡°Shut up.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t want to be a person who committed crimes. You wanted to be the person who punished evil, you wanted to become a pol¡­¡±


    Before I could finish my sentence, Ran Qingzhuang surged towards me like an agile panther and clamped his hand around my throat as he nailed the dagger into the pillow beside my head.


    My phone fell onto the floor, angling a beam of light straight at the ceiling.


    I couldn¡¯t speak. A strange noise trickled out of my throat, and my fingers clawed and dug into his arms in an attempt to make him ease up on the pressure.


    ¡°I already said that I would write off everything after tonight. But if you piss me off again, I can make it so that you¡¯ll die without anyone knowing, whenever and wherever I want.¡± He bent down closer to me. With a heavy threat layered over his voice, he said, ¡°Every year, quite a few people plunge off the cliffs here and drown. Your extra body wouldn¡¯t even be noticed.¡±


    The sea wasn¡¯t exactly lacking my extra body either.


    The hand around my neck didn¡¯t obstruct my breathing entirely. Although it gave off a slightly oppressive feeling, he only intentionally increased the force behind his grip when he was spitting out a few keywords. It was almost like he was telling me¡ªhe could snap my neck as effortlessly as if he was twisting open a bottle of soda.


    I nodded hastily, indicating that I definitely wouldn¡¯t do anything to displease him again.


    ¡°There¡¯s still forty-five minutes left. For every additional word you speak, I¡¯ll leave a corresponding hole in your body.¡± Ran Qingzhuang extracted the dagger that had been stabbed into the pillow before he slowly released his hold on my neck.


    The ice-cold blade slid down my chest and paused briefly over my heart. I couldn¡¯t tell if it was from the fear or the chill; either way, I gave a huge shudder. With a scoff, Ran Qingzhuang withdrew his dagger in satisfaction.


    After putting on his shirt, he stood in the corner of the room with his arms crossed. For the remaining forty-five minutes, he didn¡¯t say another word to me. He was just like a dead creature that didn¡¯t breathe, a statue that couldn¡¯t speak¡ªsomeone who walked into the room for the first time wouldn¡¯t even notice his presence immediately.


    ¡ª


    I wasn¡¯t sure when Ran Qingzhuang ended up leaving. By the time I opened my eyes, it was already extremely bright outside, and he was nowhere to be found in the room.


    Someone was banging unceasingly on my door. Enduring my headache, I went over to open it and was greeted by the sight of Fang Luosu standing in the doorway. She told me that the waves had lessened outside, which meant that we could go back in the afternoon.


    ¡°Got it.¡± I was about to close the door when I noticed that Fang Luosu looked as if she had something else she wanted to say. ¡°What is it?¡±


    She stared at my neck with an odd expression on her face. ¡°Those people didn¡¯t do anything to you last night, right? I thought that they were all doing the same thing¡ªjust checking the rooms, nothing more. Did they hit you?¡±


    I touched my neck and knew that she had seen the marks left behind by Ran Qingzhuang. I didn¡¯t really care to explain, so I just said indifferently, ¡°It¡¯s not from being hit.¡± Then I shut the door.


    After I managed to tidy up my clothes with some difficulty, I picked up my phone from the ground to examine it. Sure enough, it was even more cracked now.


    In the reflection of the dark screen, I could faintly see a red mark on my neck; it had most likely developed from the bite.


    ¡ª


    Originally, we thought that our group would be able to leave since the waves had stopped. But unexpectedly, the eldest young master of the Jin family suddenly declared that he was going to have us stay for lunch as a way of expressing his apologies for alarming everyone the previous night.


    Although the entire group shared looks with each other, nobody dared to step forward and decline the offer. Just like that, we ended up staying on the island.


    Lunch was held in one of the dining halls inside the castle. Besides Young Master Jin, his little brother was also present, as was the baldie from last night. He stood silently off to the side like a wallflower and merely watched as we ate our meals.


    I didn¡¯t see Ran Qingzhuang anywhere nearby, and I felt somewhat disappointed.


    ¡°Are you looking for someone?¡±


    My spoon jolted, spilling a few drops of soup onto the tablecloth.


    I raised my head in the speaker¡¯s direction and answered a bit nervously, ¡°No¡­¡±


    There was a steak knife in Jin Chenyu¡¯s hand, and a beautiful smile bloomed across his dark red lips. ¡°I hear that you and Lao Yao know each other quite well.¡±


    Startled, I didn¡¯t respond immediately.


    The other person seemed to misunderstand something. He explained, ¡°I mean Ran Qingzhuang. He¡¯s the youngest member of Helian Group¡¯s middle management. My father calls him Lao Yao, so everyone else does as well.¡±


    No wonder they all called him ¡°Yao-ge1.¡± So this was the meaning behind that nickname.


    ¡°Mn¡­ we¡¯ve known each other for many years now. We¡¯re pretty familiar with one another.¡± Tentatively, I said, ¡°By the way, how come¡­ I don¡¯t see him here?¡±


    Last night, the baldie seemed to have said that Ran Qingzhuang broke the rules by roaming around after dark. He also told Ran Qingzhuang to explain himself to the eldest young master the next day.


    I couldn¡¯t help but have an ominous premonition that nothing good would come out of this ¡°explanation.¡±


    Jin Chenyu wiped away the bloodstains on the edge of his lips with a snow-white napkin. His tone of voice was casual, as if he was simply discussing the weather for the day.


    ¡°Naturally, you have to be punished if you do something wrong.¡±


    Translation Notes


    Yan: The physical novel for BXXD just started its preorders~ you can see the cover art and some character art here. I think it¡¯s such a gorgeous cover, if slightly macabre haha. (I also think it¡¯s funny that they went with ¡°The Selfish Gene¡± as the English title, since it¡¯s literally the same title as the fan-translated one for HNQ¡¯s other novel (Ò»Äî֮˽). To avoid confusion, I¡¯m just going to stick with Inferior by Nature for now.)

 CH 5

    My spoon fell onto the ground with a tremor of my hand. Individually, there wasn¡¯t anything wrong with Young Master Jin¡¯s expression or tone of voice, but when combined together, it made my blood abruptly run cold.


    ¡°My apologies¡­¡±


    As I hurriedly bent down to pick it up, I was greeted by a pair of big curious eyes under the table.


    The Jin family¡¯s younger son, Jin Yuanbao, had unexpectedly slipped under the table at some point. At that moment, he was next to my feet, and he had even picked up the silver spoon for me.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Startled, I expressed my gratitude as I took the spoon from him.


    ¡°I saw you last night, right there on the stage.¡± Jin Yuanbao looked to be around seven or eight years old, and he had an extremely round head. He had quite the clever appearance when he wasn¡¯t speaking, but there was a foolish air about him the moment he opened his mouth, and he didn¡¯t seem to be too bright.


    ¡°Mn¡­ I play the cello,¡± I said.


    ¡°Cello?¡± He glanced at the row of instruments lined up against the wall. All of a sudden, his eyes squinted in a smile. ¡°I like the cello.¡±


    His smile was youthful and innocent, not egocentric in the slightest. If his appearance earlier was still somewhat similar to that of his father and brother, the resemblance disappeared completely with his smile.


    ¡°Yuanbao, how come you can¡¯t even eat a meal properly? Quick, come back here.¡± By now, Jin Chenyu had also realized that his little brother was nowhere to be found, and a bit of exasperation tinged his voice.


    Jin Yuanbao pulled a face and didn¡¯t listen to his brother at all. Instead, he stooped over and scurried out from my side of the table before he quickly ran off and vanished elsewhere in the castle.


    Brows furrowed, Jin Chenyu shot a glance at the maid standing to the side. She understood his intentions without him having to say a single word, and she quickly chased after the little young master.


    Jin Chenyu retracted his gaze only after the maid had disappeared entirely. He said apologetically to the people sitting around the table, ¡°Sorry about that, if you¡¯ll excuse his lack of manners.¡±


    Fang Luosu hastily waved her hands. ¡°No need, no need. He¡¯s just a child, it¡¯s normal for him not to be able to sit still.¡±


    Everyone else chorused their agreement as they all told Jin Chenyu not to take it to heart.


    I lifted my glass of water and took a perfunctory sip from it. My mind had long since wandered far off into the distance.


    Lion King Island was comparable to a dragon¡¯s pool or a tiger¡¯s den, and Jin Chenyu was like the ghost or demon dwelling within it. Although the dining hall was bright and spacious, the food delicious and flavorful, I felt as if I was sitting on pins and chewing on wax.


    How was Ran Qingzhuang faring now? Was his life in any danger?


    What could I do to help him?


    I was at least partially responsible for who he had become today, so I couldn¡¯t just sit and observe impassively from the side.


    ¡°Since everyone seems to be done eating, I¡¯ll call someone over to escort you all to the dock.¡± Jin Chenyu raised his hand slightly, and the baldie, who had been acting as a wall ornament this entire time, automatically approached and waited for further instruction.


    It wasn¡¯t clear what Young Master Jin said to him, but the baldie nodded and swiftly left the room. Only then did I notice that there was also a tattoo of a mottled snake on the back of the baldie¡¯s head; just a single glimpse of it was nauseating.


    Everyone stood up and fetched their respective instruments before going forward to thank Young Master Jin for his warm hospitality one at a time.


    ¡°I hope we¡¯ll be able to meet again.¡± When it was my turn, Jin Chenyu extended his hand amicably.


    As the saying went: you shouldn¡¯t strike a person smiling at you. Even though my mind was filled to the brim with loathing, I still gripped his hand. It was very cold and somewhat unpleasant to touch, and I only held onto it for a few seconds before I let go.


    At this time, the dining hall doors were pushed open from the outside. A tall, broad figure strode in and came to a stop next to Jin Chenyu.


    ¡°The cars are ready to leave whenever.¡± Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s gaze swept indifferently across my face without the slightest pause.


    His complexion was extremely pale, and his eyebrows were knitted together subconsciously like he was enduring some type of pain.


    There was nothing abnormal about the parts of his body that were visible outside of his clothes, but I had no idea what kind of cruelty had been inflicted on the areas hidden underneath the fabric.


    Jin Chenyu wasn¡¯t joking around¡ªRan Qingzhuang really had been punished.


    A giant hand seemed to seize hold of my heart, and for a split second, I couldn¡¯t catch my breath.


    Jin Chenyu looked at me before directing his gaze back to Ran Qingzhuang. All of a sudden, he burst out laughing. ¡°Oh my, so you two really are old lovers.¡±


    As he spoke, he patted Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s back a few times. Though it wasn¡¯t particularly forceful, Ran Qingzhuang still stumbled forward a bit, as if his footing was unstable. Afterwards, his complexion grew even worse.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± I hurriedly tried to support Ran Qingzhuang, but he avoided me and brushed my hand away.


    ¡°What¡¯s the matter? Got in a fight? Don¡¯t take this personally, but it¡¯s quite difficult for the average person to tolerate a temperament like yours.¡± For some reason, Jin Chenyu¡¯s mood seemed to have improved significantly. He slung his arm around Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s shoulders and headed towards the door without paying any mind to the others.


    The remaining people shared looks with each other. Nobody knew what was going on, so we had no choice but to follow after them.


    Fang Luosu and I were at the end of the group. With my cello on my back, I stared through the crowd at Ran Qingzhuang, who was at the very front, whereas Fang Luosu¡¯s gaze was focused on me.


    ¡°Do you know that person? Ji Ning,¡± she asked.


    ¡°I do. He¡¯s my¡­ friend from high school.¡± I averted my eyes and trained them on the ground instead.


    ¡°He¡¯s been highly favored by Young Master Jin in recent years, and he¡¯s an upstart in Helian Group.¡± Fang Luosu lowered her voice and said, ¡°You¡­ Work is one thing, and who you choose to interact with is another thing, but it¡¯s best if you don¡¯t get too close to him. People like them are different from people like us.¡±


    That was advice given by a friend with good intentions, and I should¡¯ve appreciated her kindness. But for whatever reason, I felt like her words were grating and not particularly pleasant to hear.


    It wasn¡¯t like Ran Qingzhuang had an extra arm or a missing leg compared to me. How was he any different?


    ¡°I know what I¡¯m doing,¡± I blurted out rapidly before I sped up and passed everyone else to catch up with Ran Qingzhuang and Jin Chenyu.


    ¡°Take some time to recover well these next few days. No need to worry about the company¡¯s affairs,¡± Jin Chenyu was saying warmly.


    Ran Qingzhuang nodded and didn¡¯t respond.


    ¡°I did it partially to set an example for the subordinates, you really can¡¯t hold a grudge against me for that.¡± As Jin Chenyu spoke, he inclined his head and shot a glance back at me.


    Our gazes collided, and my heart heavily skipped a beat. The upward tilt of the outer corner of his eye reminded me quite a bit of a fox that had eaten and drunk its fill and was now pondering what kind of mischief it could stir up. Subconsciously, I raised my guard and faltered slightly in my footsteps, causing the person behind me to bump into me by accident.


    ¡°Sorry, sorry,¡± the other person apologized profusely.


    I shook my head and allowed them to pass me first.


    ¡ª


    Several seven-seat vans were parked outside the main entrance. I followed Ran Qingzhuang and got into the vehicle at the very front. After taking my seat, I peered outside the window and saw that Jin Chenyu was still standing there with a good-natured smile on his face, waving goodbye at us.


    A suspicious little fox¡­


    At this point, something had also started to dawn on me: he wasn¡¯t trying to be thoughtful at all when he invited us to stay for lunch. He just wanted to test me, to test if Ran Qingzhuang and I really did know each other. If the room Ran Qingzhuang entered last night wasn¡¯t mine, the truth probably would¡¯ve been exposed earlier.


    Merely walking around after nightfall was enough to merit such harsh punishment. If someone found out that he was precisely the ¡°rat¡± they were looking for¡­ I shuddered and didn¡¯t dare to continue that line of thought.


    Ran Qingzhuang sat in the passenger seat, eyes closed as he rested with his hands folded over each other. He didn¡¯t say a single word during the entire ride over. Once we reached the dock, he was the first to get out of the van, and he went to unload each person¡¯s instrument so that it was easier for us to get out.


    Since my instrument was slightly larger, it had been placed in the trunk. When I saw that Ran Qingzhuang had opened the door to the trunk and was about to take my cello out for me, I rushed up to him and slung the case onto my back before he could do anything.


    ¡°No need, I can do it myself.¡± I had a hunch that he was injured somewhere, and I was afraid of worsening it, so I didn¡¯t want to trouble him.


    Ran Qingzhuang shot a glance at his hand, which was holding nothing but air, and let out a sneer. ¡°What? Scared that I¡¯ll break your cello?¡±


    I was momentarily at a loss for words. I had no idea how he had managed to arrive at such a misunderstanding.


    ¡°That¡¯s not¡­¡±


    He had no intention of listening to my explanation. Instead, gaze fixed on some point in the distance, he cut me off and said, ¡°Ji Ning, don¡¯t come here again.¡± After that, he swept past me as he headed elsewhere.


    I stared at his back. For whatever reason, to me, those words didn¡¯t seem to stem from contempt.


    ¡ª


    Everyone lined up and boarded the yacht one after another.


    I was at the very end of the line. When I turned to look back at the shore, I saw Ran Qingzhuang gazing in our direction with dark, heavy eyes and a lit cigarette in his hand.


    Before I could step onto the boat, he exhaled a mouthful of white smoke. Then, he turned around and left without a backward glance.


    ¡ª


    Returning to Chonghai felt like coming back to the world of the living, even though we were clearly only gone for a single night.


    After saying goodbye to the ensemble members, I dragged my exhausted body back home. As soon as I walked through the doorway, a call from my mother came in.


    Upon answering, I realized that the person on the other end was my little sister.


    My mom was quite strict with us. My little sister wasn¡¯t eighteen yet, so she wasn¡¯t even allowed to own a cell phone. Consequently, whenever she needed me for something, she usually had to borrow someone else¡¯s.


    She was calling me because she wanted to seek my opinion on her choice of university. Her goal was to attend school in Chonghai, but our mom was worried about her, a girl, being so far away from home.


    ¡°So what if it¡¯s a little far, aren¡¯t you also in Chonghai? Ge, help me persuade Mom. Convince her to let me apply for Chonghai Dance Academy, please?¡±


    My little sister had been dancing ever since she was young, and her dream had always been to become an outstanding professional ballerina. Since Chonghai Dance Academy was ranked among the top domestic dance academies, it wasn¡¯t surprising that she wanted to apply for it.


    Unable to withstand her cajoling and wheedling, I told her to pass the phone to our mom and promised that I would give it a go.


    After a series of rustling noises, my mom took over the phone. The first thing that came out of her mouth was: ¡°You think that Chonghai is good?¡±


    ¡°If Lingge wants to apply, just let her try.¡±


    ¡°Since you¡¯re all going to be in Chonghai, then I might as well just move there too.¡±


    I was somewhat torn between laughing and crying. ¡°We¡¯ve both grown up now, you don¡¯t need to keep following us, Mom¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m worried.¡±


    At first, I wanted to say something else, but then I thought better of it. My mom never changed her mind once she made a decision. Even if I kept talking, it would just be a waste of my energy, so I stopped trying to persuade her out of it.


    With that topic concluded, there was no need to continue discussing it. As a result, Ms. Bai began to inquire about my life.


    ¡°How have you been recently?¡±


    The outcome of my illness was already set in stone. Since I didn¡¯t want my family to suffer more than necessary, I made the decision to hide it from them for as long as possible. It wouldn¡¯t be too late even if I only told them once I absolutely had to.


    ¡°Pretty good.¡± I told her a rare lie.


    After a bit more casual conversation, my mom started to hang up. But for some reason, my mouth acted faster than my brain, and I stopped her by calling out to her.


    She waited quietly on the other end without asking any questions or cutting off the call. She seemed to know that I was on the verge of saying something exceedingly important.


    ¡°Suppose¡­ I did something wrong in the past that resulted in extremely grave consequences, and I finally have a chance to make up for it now. I¡¯ll probably have to pay a huge price, but I should do everything in my power to make amends, right?¡±


    ¡°Was it a very serious transgression?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    The other end was silent for a few seconds. Then she said, ¡°It¡¯s my fault for not teaching you well.¡±


    My fingers tightened unconsciously around my phone, and I lowered my eyes as an enormous wave of shame engulfed me internally.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    My mother sighed and said, ¡°Since you¡¯ve remembered it for so many years, it must not be something trivial. If the thought of it unsettles your soul, you must pacify it. Everyone has to pay a price for the things they¡¯ve done wrong. The more you try to avoid it, the bigger the final price will be. You have the courage to own up to your mistakes, so no matter what happens, I will always be proud of you.¡±


    For whatever reason, the anxiety and uneasiness in my heart suddenly calmed down after I heard what my mom had to say. It felt as if I had finally found the correct path amidst an expanse of dense fog.


    ¡°However.¡± Her tone shifted into something sharper. ¡°Don¡¯t you ever do the wrong thing again. Understood?¡±


    My life had already entered its final countdown. Presumably, I wouldn¡¯t be making any more mistakes during my last six months in this world.


    ¡°Okay, I will never do the wrong thing again,¡± I promised her.

 CH 6

    CW: descriptions of child abuse at the beginning of this chapter


    During my childhood, whenever my mom thought that I had failed to live up to her expectations, she would hit me.


    If she struck my hands, I wouldn¡¯t be able to practice the cello, and if she struck my legs, I wouldn¡¯t be able to walk. As a result, she usually hit my back.


    She would make me kneel on the floor and hold onto a chair so that my back was exposed. Then, she would whip me with a belt until she was satisfied.


    If my little sister saw me being whipped, she would always cry and try to protect me by latching onto our mom in an attempt to prevent her from moving. But what she didn¡¯t know was that Mom was pushed to the brink of fury every time she beat me; she would only hit me when she was thoroughly disappointed in me. She was no longer the same person she was normally. She didn¡¯t have any rationality left to speak of, and her blows would only grow all the more callous if someone tried to stop her.


    Eventually, whenever I had a premonition that my mom was going to beat me, I would tell my little sister to wait outside for a while. Once it was all over, I would open the door and let her back in.


    One time my mother beat me a little too viciously. She was so enraged that she didn¡¯t have time to find a belt, so she thrashed me twice with a broom handle instead. Although the handle didn¡¯t break at the third blow, the entire broom head flew off, and it was due to this that she probably felt as if she had gone a little overboard. Rather than continuing, she threw the remnants of the broom onto the ground and returned to her room, slamming the door shut behind her.


    This generally indicated that she wouldn¡¯t be emerging again for the rest of the night. By the time the sun rose the next day, she would be back to normal¡ªno longer hysterical, no longer filled with boundless anger. All of her negative emotions would be digested, and she would pretend like nothing had ever happened.


    I remember being in extraordinary pain, despite the fact that she had only landed two blows on me. It hurt so much that I was instantly unable to move my shoulders very well afterwards, and I even found it a bit difficult to open the door for my little sister.


    At the time, my sister wasn¡¯t even ten years old yet. Although she was small and skinny, she had quite a lot of strength, and she was an expert at rubbing in medicated oils.


    ¡°Ge, why does Mom hate us so much?¡±


    Ever since our dad passed away, any topics related to a ¡°father¡± were forbidden in our household. This was for the sake of not affecting our growth and development, and also for the sake of breaking away from our dad¡¯s shadow completely. Consequently, my little sister still didn¡¯t know how Lao Ji had died or what kind of person he was.


    Most of the time, I thought that things were fine like this. My little sister would be left solely with good memories, and she could believe that our father was an upstanding person, a great hero who did his best to save others from suffering¡ªthat was all well and good. But every so often, my little sister would express her discontent with our mother to me, and I would always think of her with pity.


    She didn¡¯t know why Mom had become like this, nor did she know who the cause of it was. She didn¡¯t even know that Mom didn¡¯t actually hate us; our mother simply despised seeing the reflection of that man on us.


    ¡°There¡¯s an inherent difference between being strict with someone and hating someone. Mom is strict with us, but it¡¯s all for our own good.¡± I lifted my arm with difficulty to rub my little sister¡¯s head. ¡°She just doesn¡¯t want us to¡­ go down the wrong path.¡±


    My sister clearly didn¡¯t find my words to be very believable. Brows furrowed, she said, ¡°But the teacher said that it¡¯s wrong to hit people. If it¡¯s for our own good, Mom can use logic with us instead. Why does she have to hit you?¡±


    I was a little stumped by her question. Back then, I was still just a high school student, and I couldn¡¯t come up with any better reasons, so I could only use the same widely applicable excuse to muddle my way through.


    ¡°You¡¯ll understand when you¡¯re older,¡± I said.


    I went to school injured the next day. Out of all my teachers and classmates, not a single one noticed that I was hurt.


    I sat in my seat quietly the entire day, enduring the waves of discomfort radiating from my back. Once school was dismissed, I headed towards the empty classroom to practice my cello, just like I always did.


    ¡°Why does your cello sound so weird today?¡±


    That was the first time Ran Qingzhuang ever took the initiative to speak to me, ever since I started acting as his supervisor.


    I stopped playing immediately, but I didn¡¯t reply to him. Instead, I just looked at him doubtfully.


    He lifted his head from his crossed arms. His expression was devoid of any sleepiness, and he scanned me up and down before he guessed, ¡°Someone hit you?¡±


    I didn¡¯t have a particularly great personality. Cello practice and studying took up too much of my time, so I hardly had the energy to socialize on top of that. Consequently, I didn¡¯t really have any friends to speak of, and I always kept to myself at school.


    Throughout the entire day, none of my teachers or classmates had noticed that I was injured. Yet Ran Qingzhuang could tell from the sound of my cello alone that someone had hit me.


    With those ears, it would be a waste not to study music.


    ¡°No.¡± In the end, it was a family skeleton, so I instinctively denied it.


    Ran Qingzhuang clearly didn¡¯t believe me. He continued guessing, ¡°Was it those delinquents from the vocational school next door?¡±


    Our high school was considered a pretty good school in the area. It had a long, established history; the teachers were well-qualified; and its graduates could be found at all the famous universities, both domestic and abroad. There was also another school next to ours, a vocational secondary school that wasn¡¯t particularly outstanding. Most of its students tended to idle away their days¡ªnot many took their studies seriously.


    The two schools had been established for quite a few years now. At some point, one of the classes had started a ¡°feud,¡± and both schools were still utterly incompatible by the time I graduated. My guess was that things would remain tumultuous for a long time.


    They thought of us as falsely noble and virtuous, and we thought of them as truly low-class. Neither school¡¯s students viewed the other¡¯s highly. Conflicts occurred frequently between the two sides, and fights broke out because of the slightest disagreement. Ran Qingzhuang could be considered part of the main force of my high school. He had gotten into seventeen or eighteen fights since entering our school, the vast majority of them being with the students next door.


    He seemed to clash with those people by nature; if they saw each other, the idea of walking peacefully past was abandoned. Since the teachers truly couldn¡¯t do anything about him, they attempted to stagger his dismissal time so that it was different from the neighboring school¡¯s, fundamentally and effectively preventing the conflicts from taking place.


    This originally would¡¯ve been somewhat difficult to accomplish, but to everyone¡¯s satisfaction, I just so happened to be available. That was the real reason why I was ¡°supervising¡± him.


    ¡°No!¡± I was afraid that he would think the students next door had hit me, giving rise to a misunderstanding, so I hastily told him the truth.


    ¡°It¡ªit was my mom. Since my math score wasn¡¯t very good this time, she got a bit mad, and she hit me¡­¡± I said quietly, head lowered. I set down my cello bow and plucked at the strings gently with the pad of my finger.


    Ran Qingzhuang was somewhat surprised. ¡°Your mom hit you?¡± Using the back two legs of his chair as support, he leaned slightly backwards as his tone of voice abruptly relaxed. ¡°Oh, never mind then.¡±


    After his interruption, I wasn¡¯t in the mood to practice anymore, so I put away my cello and took out my homework to work on it.


    In my peripheral vision, Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s chair continued to sway back and forth. It never once settled down properly.


    ¡°If possible, I¡¯d want my mom to hit me too, but I¡¯ve never even seen her before.¡±


    The tip of my pencil paused on the paper, and I inclined my head to the side to look dubiously at Ran Qingzhuang. Upon seeing his appearance¡ªkicked back in his chair, hands folded behind his head, eyelids drooping, listless and dispirited¡ªI couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°Where did she go?¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t go anywhere.¡± He didn¡¯t look at me. Instead, he gazed at the blackboard in front of him as he spoke at a volume that was audible for both of us. ¡°My grandma said that she was most likely some unremarkable woman my dad met out there who ended up giving birth to me. But she didn¡¯t want to raise me, so she tossed me to my dad and ran off. My dad didn¡¯t want to raise me either, so he tossed me to my grandma.¡±


    Learning about his family background so unexpectedly caught me briefly off guard.


    ¡°Ah¡­ Well, at least¡ªat least you have a dad. My dad passed away when I was eight.¡± I had never experienced such an atmosphere before, and I felt the need to say something, though I didn¡¯t know exactly what. But thanks to my clumsy inarticulacy, I ended up picking the worst possible thing.


    The disobedient chair immediately stilled, and Ran Qingzhuang¡¯s gaze finally settled on me.


    ¡°When I was twelve, my dad¡­ was shot to death.¡± There was a smile that wasn¡¯t quite a smile on his face. After that, he grabbed his backpack from the belly of the desk and slung it over his shoulder before he started to make his way towards the classroom door. ¡°I didn¡¯t get to enjoy much more fatherly affection than you either.¡±


    Once he was gone, I knocked my head against my desk in frustration. In doing so, I accidentally tugged at the injuries on my back, causing me to grimace in pain.


    ¡°Ah, no wonder I don¡¯t have any friends¡­¡±


    ¡ª


    After our performance concluded at night, I went to change my clothes in the changing room with the other male members of the orchestra. All of a sudden, one of the violinists, Hu Wen, suddenly pushed open the door and rushed inside in a hurried panic, startling the men into hastily covering up their important parts.


    ¡°Hu Wen, what are you doing?¡±


    With one hand braced against a locker, Hu Wen gasped for air as she said, ¡°It¡¯s bad, Xiao Fang¡¯s husband¡­ He¡ªhe¡¯s fighting with Director Xin!¡±


    I was in the middle of loosening my bow tie when she came in. As soon as I heard what was happening, I no longer had time to undo it properly, so I yanked it off in one motion and threw it to the side. Then I sprinted towards Director Xin¡¯s office.


    I could already see a group of people crammed into the corridor from afar. After I pushed through the crowd and squeezed my way to the door, I found Fang Luosu standing there in a dumbfounded daze. The door to the office was closed tightly behind her, and a few of Director Xin¡¯s miserable howls floated out every so often.


    Even though Nan Xian was more of a musically-inclined scholar, he was still ultimately a man. If he continued beating up Director Xin like this, it was hard to guarantee there wouldn¡¯t be any problems.


    ¡°You should stay back for now.¡± I pulled Fang Luosu to the side and went to open the door, but right as my hand wrapped around the doorknob, Fang Luosu shoved me abruptly. I wasn¡¯t expecting it at all, so I crashed into the wall.


    Fierce pain instantly ripped through my head. All I could do was lean against the wall for support, and even my vision grew a bit blurry.


    ¡°Was it you? Were you the one who told Nan Xian?¡± Fang Luosu questioned me harshly. ¡°I already said that I wasn¡¯t going to compete with you anymore. If you want the principal cellist position, I¡¯m willing to give it to you, so why did you have to do that?¡±


    ¡°Calm down a little first.¡± Since she was pregnant, it wasn¡¯t advisable for her to get too worked up.


    ¡°You always¡­ always act like this, as if you¡¯re some untainted, upstanding gentleman. What are you pretending for? Do you not want to be the principal cellist? If you don¡¯t, then why didn¡¯t you just tell Director Xin to yield the position to me? I know that you look down on me, that you think I¡¯m despicable.¡± Tears streamed down Fang Luosu¡¯s face as she pointed at me. ¡°But you¡¯re not any better! Aren¡¯t you tired, living like this? You hypocrite!¡±


    So that was how she had viewed me this entire time.


    The pain passed swiftly, but I was still stunned.


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    The office door abruptly opened to reveal an expressionless man with a neat and refined appearance. His hands were spotted with blood, and the lapel of his jacket was also torn.


    Collapsed on the ground behind him was Director Xin. He was moaning weakly and crying for help, but it didn¡¯t seem like he would be dying anytime soon.


    ¡°Nan Xian!¡± Fang Luosu started to approach him, but he ignored her completely and pushed her indifferently to the side.


    Nan Xian headed straight for me and asked coldly, ¡°Did you already know about this?¡±


    Nothing was mentioned to him as the situation developed, and the various plans to inform him kept being postponed. It was true that I already knew about it¡ªthat much was undeniable.


    ¡°¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡± I lowered my eyes; I didn¡¯t dare to look him in the face.


    Nan Xian laughed out of fury and gave me a thumbs-up. ¡°Great, aren¡¯t you something. Ji Ning, you¡¯re really something else!¡±


    He turned around and began making his way towards the stairs. The crowd of people automatically parted to the sides to create a path for him.


    Fang Luosu took a few steps in his direction before she glanced back at me. In the end, however, she continued to chase after Nan Xian while calling out his name.


    I slumped against the wall and recuperated there for quite a while, all the way up until Hu Wen approached me and asked how I was doing.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I shook my head and shot a look at Director Xin, who was still inside the office. Then I suggested, ¡°Let¡¯s call an ambulance.¡±


    ¡ª


    Afterwards, no matter how many times I called Nan Xian, none of my calls ever went through. He must have blocked me.


    I had no choice but to message him and Fang Luosu separately in the hopes that they would communicate properly like adults and refrain from acting impulsively.


    I got a call less than two minutes after I sent the messages. Delighted, I thought that either the wife or the husband was calling me, but when I checked my phone, it was an unknown number.


    I answered it, disappointed. ¡°Hello? May I ask who¡¯s calling?¡±


    The other end introduced himself. He claimed to be the Jin family¡¯s head butler, surnamed Feng.


    ¡°It¡¯s like this. Your performance last time was superb, and the little young master enjoyed it greatly. Both Mr. Jin and the madam believe that the little young master requires a talented person such as yourself to teach him. Thus, I¡¯ve come to inquire on their behalf if you have any interest in switching occupations.¡± Butler Feng spoke frankly and confidently. ¡°We¡¯ve arranged an even better position for you here on Lion King Island. When it comes to the salary and benefits, I can assure you that you will not find anything¡­ better than this.¡±