《Rebirth Plan to Save Leader》


 CH 1

    Don¡¯t be obsessive about the past.


    After the final exams, the long summer vacation begins in the first year of high school.


    Zhang Man finished grading the last exam paper, packed up her things, and carried her bag out of the office. As she was locking the door, the phone in her pocket suddenly vibrated without stopping. She took the phone out and looked at the screen. It was her mother, Zhang Huifang.


    ¡°Hey, Mom ¡­¡­ Well, I¡¯m off today. I¡¯ll be back this weekend¡­¡­ I know.¡±


    Not sure since when it started, but most conversations between mother and daughter pair ends with urging her to marry. Zhang Huifang said that women in their thirties like her, if they don¡¯t fall in love or get married sooner, they will completely lose their own hormones and no longer have a chance at a relationship.


    Zhang Man felt that her mom was right, but also wrong.


    It was true that she had lost all feeling for the variety of men around her, but in recent years she had been dreaming of one man with increasing frequency. Each time she woke up from the dream, her disordered heartbeat seemed to repeat the throbbing from her youth.


    As soon as she reached the ground floor of the school building, she met the Head Teacher, Zhou Wenqing who said, ¡°Teacher Zhang, do you have time for dinner tonight?¡±


    Zhang Man instinctively wanted to refuse, but remembered Zhang Huifang¡¯s increasingly anxious urging, and the words turned into, ¡°I¡¯m free.¡±


    The man was a little surprised when he heard her then showed a bright smile, ¡°Wait for me then.¡±


    Zhang Man nodded and stood at the top of the stairs with her bag squeezed, sighing as she watched him walk up the stairs at a hurried pace.


    Zhou Wenqing¡¯s meaning was not unknown to her. In all fairness, he was a composed and honest man with a strong work ethic and was very responsible in life. Although he was a few years older than her and divorced, he was considered a preferable choice for her.


    There were very few people around her age who weren¡¯t married.


    He came down quickly and changed into a rather neat shirt, however the slightly sagging decrepit lines on his face made him look a little tired.


    They went to a Sichuan restaurant next to the school.


    Zhou Wenqing chose a corner seat and wiped the table and chairs with a paper towel before inviting her to sit down.


    A fine gentleman.


    ¡°Ms. Zhang come and order your food, ladies first.¡±


    Zhang Man ticked off a dry pot of thousand-leaf tofu and a spicy Szechuan chicken as per usual.


    However, as soon as she finished ordering and handed him the menu, he crossed it off and chose two other new dishes.


    Zhang Man was a little surprised and raised her eyes to look at him.


    Zhou Wenqing smiled and said, ¡°I knew you would order these two, I still remember when you first came to our school, you ordered these two dishes for the first faculty dinner and they haven¡¯t changed all these years. Zhang Man, life isn¡¯t static. Sometimes people may stay in their comfort zone and don¡¯t have the courage to jump out. But change isn¡¯t always a bad thing, so why not give it a try? Whether it¡¯s the food, or the people.¡±


    Zhang Man bowed her head, a little shaken inside, knowing that he meant to say something, but not knowing how to answer. It was good that Zhou Wenqing did not embarrass her and changed the topic.


    Halfway through the meal was quite harmonious, Zhou Wenqing was very good at creating an atmosphere, and even if she didn¡¯t talk much, it wasn¡¯t awkward between them.


    At this time, the phone placed on the table rang, it was the WeChat alert beep, continuously ringing multiple times.


    ¡°Excuse me, I want to check some messages.¡±


    She opened her phone and found that it was her best friend, Chen Feier.


    ¡¾Where are you, Man Man? Look at the #1 Trending! Hurry!¡¿


    ¡¾£¡£¡£¡£¡£¡¡¿


    ¡­¡­


    Chen Feier typed several rows of exclamation marks in a row.


    Zhang Man thought to herself that it was likely that fresh meat she was microblogging had found himself a partner. She absentmindedly opened Weibo and took a look at the hot search list.


    It was a glance that made her whole body freeze for a moment.


    The #1 Trending on the Hot Search list turned out to be ¡­¡­his name, hanging on top, as he did three months ago when he became the first Chinese Theoretical physicist to win a Nobel Prize.


    But the next two words were stamped plainly into her view, overly violent and menacing, causing her for a moment to be incapable of deciphering and lose her ability to comprehend completely.


    ¡¾Li Wei committed suicide¡¿


    Suicide? What do you mean?


    A simple, direct message that could be understood literally without thinking, but she suddenly failed to understand it.


    It was as if the brain had stopped functioning, or turned on its self-protection mechanism, giving every cell in the body a buffer of time.


    Zhang Man clicked into that hot search, flipping back and forth for a few minutes, the numbness and sluggishness gradually disappeared, her brain hadn¡¯t been able to accurately receive this information yet, but her heart had suddenly started to beat at a disrupted rate.


    ¡°Clang!¡± The sound of the glass hitting the floor and shattering was sharp and explosive, as she came back to her senses and realized that the glass in her hand had fallen to the floor.


    Zhou Wenqing quickly ushered the waiter to clean up the mess, looking at her with some concern.


    ¡°Ms. Zhang, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Zhang Man opened her mouth, unable to speak. Her entire body began to unconsciously shake, and the temperature in her body dropped gradually, as if she had been sucked out of a black hole and plunged into an endless stream of panic. Before all the emotions overwhelmed her, she squeezed her bag and stood up fiercely, ¡°Teacher Zhou ¡­¡­ Zhou, I¡¯m not feeling too well, so I¡¯ll leave first.¡±


    She walked quickly out of the restaurant, the street lights blasting her eyes, making her dizzy for a moment.


    Her phone was still vibrating unceasingly, and she subconsciously opened it to see that Chen Feier had sent her several more messages.


    ¡¾Man Man, are you okay?¡¿


    ¡¾Man Man, where are you now?¡¿


    She walked unconsciously, with just enough energy to sustain her to an empty corner of the street, where a convenience store had a back door.


    She slowly crouched down against the wall, covering her mouth and panting deeply in an attempt to inhale some cool air to ease the excruciating pain in her heart. Her temples throbbed uncontrollably, and her entire windpipe was sore from the intense sobbing.


    But the most painful thing was that despite the loss of control of the body, the mind was so clear, so terribly clear.


    With shaking hands, she opened Twitter, taking her last chances.


    It must be a mistake, it must be a rumor, he just won an award, how could he commit suicide?


    However, the circumstances of the incident are clearly analyzed on Twitter, and there is no room for a little doubt.


    Li Wei died and was found to have committed suicide in his home, just a day before the awards ceremony.


    In a letter to his PhD student Jackie on his deathbed, he wrote: ¡°¡­¡­ You are a very talented student and I have recommended you to Professor William and I am sorry for the impending inconvenience¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­I¡¯ve been doing something crazy all these years, and Physics is all I¡¯ve got. In fact, a long time ago, I had a feeling that on the day it ends, the darkness will completely engulf me.¡±


    Later, Jackie was interviewed: ¡°I felt something was wrong when I received this email and immediately called the police, but unfortunately by the time the police arrived at the professor¡¯s house, it was too late. The brightest genius of this century is gone from us forever.¡±


    Researchers who worked with him at Princeton also claimed, ¡°Mankind has lost a great genius.¡±


    His psychiatrist revealed that Li Wei had suffered from severe schizophrenia since childhood and had been suppressing it through medication over the years. But the end of his research work caused his mental illness to flare up so violently that he eventually chose to commit suicide.


    ¡°Li¡¯s inner world is actually a thousand times richer than the other people. He often imagines things that don¡¯t really exist in the world and is prone to emotional outbursts due to external stimuli. This is what we call paranoia. At the same time, Li is a keen and intelligent person, and these mental illnesses gave him a strong sense of powerlessness that he couldn¡¯t control, eventually choosing to give up on his own life.¡±


    Zhang Man tears blurred at this point, and then her trembling hands went over the disclosures of other confidants, and some things that had happened years ago suddenly became clear.


    Schizophrenia, paranoia, and so on.


    It turned out that those things back then really weren¡¯t intentional, he hadn¡¯t lied to her.


    He was just sick.


    A series of images linked together in her mind.


    She felt it was inconceivable at that time for him to deceive her, so she grievously questioned him, and even more so when she got a negative reply.


    She really didn¡¯t know, didn¡¯t know that he was actually just sick.


    She still remembered that in the last period of their relationship, he seemed to be depressed to the extreme, hollow and gloomy like a lonely soul.


    Zhang Man opened her mouth, the suppressed choke in her throat was no longer restrained and became a heartbreaking cry out loud.


    Certain things she had been unable to let go of for so many years, but now all of them had explanations, but so what, he wasn¡¯t here anymore.


    ¡ª


    Two years ago, when she was packing up her things in her hometown, Zhang Man found a love letter in a physics book, signed by Li Wei.


    He wrote in it: ¡°The human perception of the universe is like the light of a firefly in endless darkness. There are so many unknowns that we cannot see or touch. I want to get closer to the unknown, to feel the darkness. Zhang Man, will you accompany me?¡±


    That was when she realized that back then, he really liked her just as much as she liked him.


    That eccentric and lonely genius boy, actually had a tender side, he was so careful to reach out to her, wanting to hand her all his tenderness and heart.


    It was she who failed to properly retain the warmth in his eyes, and made him choose to run forever into the darkness as a result.


    If one could go back to that year¡­¡­

 CH 2

    ¡°Zhang Man, wake up, it¡¯s the first day of school today, don¡¯t be late for report.¡±


    Zhang Man heard her mother Zhang Huifang¡¯s voice and opened her eyes in a trance.


    Her brain still needed a half-minute buffer to remind itself that she¡¯d been reborn, nineteen years back.


    She sat up in her bed and rolled up the curtains somewhat unskillfully. The warm summer sun outside had been bright in the morning, hitting her warmly and bringing every cell in her body to life.


    This day was the fourth day of her rebirth and the first day of her high school admission. On this day, she would meet Li Wei who was still a teenager and become classmates with him.


    Zhang Man rubbed her eyes and stared out the window at the scenery that was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.


    She really came back, back to N City, back to the place where he was.


    In her previous life since Li Wei¡¯s death, it was as if she had become a different person. She couldn¡¯t eat, couldn¡¯t sleep at night, and her entire body lost weight as if she was suffering from rapid dehydration.


    The insomnia and nightmares that lasted for two whole months were so severe that she couldn¡¯t go to class the next day.


    So, she quit her job, carried a small suitcase, and traveled around by herself to try to change her mood. She didn¡¯t expect to encounter a mudslide on the way back, and when she woke up, she found herself back at 16 years old, back in N-town, that small town full of camphor, nineteen years ago.


    ¡ª


    Zhang Man picked out the white dress in her closet and changed into it, fixing her hair slightly in front of the mirror. Blunt bangs and long straight black hair was a very common hairstyle for high school students in this era. The young girl in the mirror was slightly pale, her face was only palm-sized, and her eyes were large and a little awkward.


    Her looks were perfectly inherited from her mother, Zhang Huifang, with a small white face and two dimples. This look was actually very sweet, but because Zhang Man didn¡¯t like to smile, she always looked a bit gloomy.


    Opening the door, Zhang Huifang is sitting on the sofa playing with her phone, and seeing her come out, she raised her eyes somewhat surprised.


    ¡°Oh Zhang Man, look at you ah! Didn¡¯t you say you wouldn¡¯t wear it to death when I bought it for you back then?¡±


    Zhang Huifang looked enchanting in a beige knit wrap dress with delicate pearl earrings. This year she was thirty-five years old, exactly the same age as Zhang Man in her previous life. At this point in time, she has not yet experienced the painful and heartbreaking life that followed, and she is still the same bright and beautiful woman who loves to dress up.


    In her youth, Zhang Huifang was a little-known resident bar singer in N City. She was bold, willful and in pursuit of the ultimate romance. She lived her life for love and had never thought about the simple necessities of life.


    Frankly speaking, Zhang Man didn¡¯t know who her father was, because Zhang Huifang never mentioned it. But ever since she can remember, Zhang Huifang has been changing boyfriends one after another, and has never married even at this age.


    Zhang Man ignored her and went to the bathroom to wash up.


    If you want to know a mother and daughter with the most opposite personalities in this world, she and Zhang Huifang must be on the list.


    When Zhang Huifang was young, she was known as one of the city¡¯s most beautiful and brightest. She is pretty, smart, and smiles at everyone she meets. She told Zhang Man that the people who used to chase her were lined up all along the street.


    However, as soon as the feeling of love disappears, she will break up with them cleanly, without any compromise.


    Zhang Man, however, is a person who has been introverted and reserved since childhood. She coldly watched Zhang Huifang bring back one boyfriend after another, and even worse, she did not believe as much in love.


    Love is nothing but a front for lonely men and women.


    She has always felt this way.


    But it wasn¡¯t until Li Wei¡¯s death in her previous life that she realized that she and Zhang Huifang were essentially the same kind of people and she couldn¡¯t accept it. Unfortunately, she showed that kind of passion and infatuation so quietly that even she herself didn¡¯t notice it.


    N City First High School was only ten minutes away from their home, Zhang Man took her breakfast and hurried downstairs, walking towards the school from her memories.


    Many new students and parents have gathered under the freshman building, looking for their names or their children¡¯s names against the class placement chart on the bulletin board.


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t need to look at the class placement chart and went straight up to the third floor, to the first class above. Her results in the High school exams were not bad, and she had gotten into the Science experiment class at the end of the crane, whereas Li Wei was the top student in the High school exams in N City this year.


    Before she entered the door, she met several high school classmates she was familiar with from her previous life, and habitually wanted to greet them, but took her hand back.


    Like him, none of them knew each other yet.


    She stood in the doorway, took a deep breath, and walked in, looking straight into the corner at the back of the classroom where the window was.


    The beige curtains fluttered with the morning breeze, and the sixteen-year-old, dressed in a simple, clean white T with a short, crisp haircut, was sitting in his regular seat, reading a book.


    He looked too different in a group of jumpy and excited freshmen.


    So quietly, with his head down, he exuded an overwhelming feeling of being alive, to the point that the one-meter area centered around him seemed to be in another world.


    The side of his face was gilded with a warm yellow light from the soft sunrise, with a high forehead, a straight nose, pursed lips, and a hard Adam¡¯s apple.


    From top to bottom it¡¯s like the lines were crafted to perfection.


    Zhang Man stood in the doorway and watched for a full minute as she raised her hand to trace his backlit outline and grinned, her throat suddenly choking a little.


    She actually saw him alive once again, not the cold corpse covered with a white cloth on the Weibo picture.


    Remembering this day in her previous life, she came early and just happened to be sitting next to him. The teenager walked into the classroom and seemed to have already had a good look at that window seat, so she came over and asked if she could sit next to her.


    At the thought of this, Zhang Man took a deep breath and walked towards him with a firm gaze.


    It was the same opening statement from the first meeting, but this time she took the initiative: ¡°Hello, classmate, may I sit next to you?¡±


    Her voice shook a little and the smile on her lips was a little hard to read.


    The young man looked up at her.


    He had extremely good looking eyes that looked as if they hid the sea and stars, they were so dazzling despite being in such bright sunlight.


    His gaze lingered briefly on her face, nodding gently and moving the spread out book in his direction, freeing the entire tabletop for her.


    His fingers were clean and long, and the book he held in his hand was wrapped in a dark green paper cover with neat edges and corners.


    Zhang Man was relieved to see him nodding his head in agreement and fought with all her strength to resist the urge to immediately go forward and hug him. She put down her bag and hung it on the back of the chair and sat down beside him.


    ¡°Classmate, my name is Zhang Man, what is your ¡­¡­ name?¡±


    He was probably too engrossed in his reading to pay attention to her.


    So Zhang Man took it upon herself to take the book he was holding and turned it to the first page. It was a textbook of ¡°Quantum Mechanics¡±. Underneath the title of the book, he wrote his name in a dark blue ink.


    Zhang Man stretched out her index finger, dabbed at his neat and beautiful handwriting, and read out with a slight pause,


    ¡°Li... Wei.¡±


    She said and repeated her words, ¡°Li Wei, your name is nice to hear.¡±


    Li Wei, Li Wei. This name that had been recited a thousand times in her dreams and hidden in her heart for more than ten years, she could finally say it righteously.


    The young man frowned because of her abrupt behavior, but returned to his previous expressionless face after a moment, nodded slightly at her, and continued to read the book.


    It was written all over his face that he didn¡¯t want to talk to her anymore.


    Zhang Man let out a soft sigh of relief, she had expected this situation.


    He had always been a reclusive and difficult person, making a world of his own, alienating himself from all his peers around him.


    Although she and Li Wei were also at the same table in her previous life, they were both dull and used to being quiet, so the first semester was so estranged that they were like two strangers, so much so that she really didn¡¯t know when exactly he had fallen in love with her.


    But it didn¡¯t matter, this could be done slowly, she had plenty of time and energy.


    ¡­¡­


    In N City, The First High School is quite unique in that there is no military training for freshmen, and military training is before the start of the sophomore year. So after reporting, school officially started.


    After 9 o¡¯clock, class teacher Liu Zhijun came in, and he ordered a few random boys to go downstairs to carry out the books in the textbook department, including Li Wei.


    ¡°The tall boy in his white clothes over there by the window, go downstairs and bring the English books and listening materials.¡±


    The young man put down the book in his hand, nodded his head and stood up, looking at Zhang Man.


    Zhang Man immediately understood and moved her chair forward to give him easy access to get out.


    After about ten minutes, the students who had gotten the teaching materials came back one after another, but Li Wei never came back.


    Zhang Man stared at the back door of the classroom for several minutes without seeing anyone. Then she remembered something in her mind, like this time when he went to bring the books, Li Wei came back with a grim face, and then took more than a week¡¯s leave.


    She had even forgotten about it before, what had happened to him downstairs at this time in his previous life? Something very bad must have happened that caused him to take a week off. At that time she didn¡¯t know him well enough to pay too much attention to his whereabouts.


    Zhang Man was somewhat panicked when she thought of this, and stood up abruptly.


    The moment she stood up, she felt a little dizzy. She pressed her eyebrows to suppress the anxiety in her heart and strode towards the classroom door.


    Perhaps the shadow left by Li Wei in her previous life was too heavy, so much so that as long as he was in a small situation, she would not be able to stop herself from imagining things.


    Zhang Man ran down the stairs and saw the person in her heart as soon as she reached the stairs.


    However, the scene in front of her made her heart thump in an instant.


    The thing that made her uneasy has happened.

 CH 3

    In the corridor on the first floor, the teenager was hit hard by two students who were running and playing, and fell to the ground. As he subconsciously braced himself on the ground, his entire body weight was on his arms, and the impact made a ¡°bang¡± when he hit the ground.


    The textbooks he was holding were all scattered all over the floor, and his white T-shirt was dusty and had holes where it rubbed against the ground.


    As if he hadn¡¯t recovered yet, the teenager maintained his fallen position, head bowed and eyes downcast.


    The two boys who had bumped into him were standing around, with no intention of helping him at all.


    Zhang Man of course knew these two, they were also classmates, one of them was a little thin and weak called Wang Xiaofeng, and the other was a tall and strong boy with slightly dark skin called Liu Chang, a Sports Committee member after the class.


    And it was rumored that these two were in the same junior high school as Li Wei.


    Wang Xiaofeng looked at the scene in front of him, his lips trembling and his eyes terrified, he said, ¡°Li ¡­¡­ Li Wei, we ¡­¡­ didn¡¯t do it on purpose, you ¡­¡­¡±


    Before he finished speaking, he was stopped by Liu Chang on the side, ¡°What are you afraid of? It¡¯s just a bump, what¡¯s the big deal.¡±


    The young man on the ground pursed his lips and didn¡¯t speak. He braced himself against the ground to get up, seeming to feel a slight pain, his brow furrowed.


    But it was only an extremely brief pause.


    He got up sharply and bent down to pick up the books scattered on the floor.


    From start to finish, he didn¡¯t even look at those two.


    Zhang Man stood at the top of the stairs, looking at him from behind, feeling her heart grow sore at the sight of him.


    Oftentimes, Li Wei gave her the feeling of being an outsider, drifting outside the mundane world to watch from a distance how noisy the society was.


    Anger, dispute, and even fight, are the instinctive reactions of boys of this age when they are mocked and provoked. As long as people live in social groups, there will be friction, and it will be difficult to find peace.


    But he didn¡¯t, and everything else in the world except Physics seemed irrelevant to him. So once his passion for it had ended, nothing else in this world could keep him.


    This feeling made her very powerless, and she wanted to keep him tied to her, for fear that one day he would completely abandon the world without her seeing it.


    Before the trepidation in her heart grew wider and wider, Zhang Man walked to his side.


    When Liu Chang saw Li Wei ignoring him, he felt even more upset and wanted to continue provoking him. Who knows that when he was about to take a step forward, his foot was trampled on by someone.


    He cried out in pain and was about to curse, but when he looked down, he found that the one who stepped on him was actually a 1.6 meter or so young girl who looked gentle and sweet.


    Looking at her frame, it seems like it was unintentional, and she looked ¡­¡­ quite pretty.


    So Liu Chang swallowed back the profanity that was about to burst.


    Zhang Man said an apology to him. While acting like she was terrified, she twisted her foot even harder and took hold of Li Wei¡¯s arm in a somewhat startling manner before Liu Chang could react and held it up before his eyes.


    ¡°Classmate, your arm is broken and bleeding badly. Let¡¯s go, I¡¯ll accompany you to the infirmary to bandage it.¡± She said, snatching the few English books in Li Wei¡¯s hand and shoving them into the hand of Liu Chang on the side.


    ¡°Classmates, could you please move the books to the class, thank you!¡±


    When she said this, she spoke slowly, her voice was soft, and the look on her face deliberately imitated Zhang Huifang, revealing that bright, brilliant, smile with two deep dimples.


    As expected the side of Liu Chang and Wang Xiaofeng were stunned, dumbstruck, nodded their heads, and mechanically squatted down to pick up the English books on the ground, without saying a word to the stairs, the bad mood and provocation just now seemed to be all forgotten.


    Zhang Man let out a sigh of relief and rubbed her slightly stiff face, only then did she realize that she had just been holding onto the young man¡¯s arm.


    The warmth of his body temperature passed through the sensory cells in her palm to her heart, and the warmth gradually gave her a great sense of security, as if she had taken a reassuring pill.


    Zhang Man unconsciously curved her lips, slightly reluctant to let go of it.


    The young man had been watching her since earlier, but there was no particular meaning in his eyes.


    He nodded his thanks to her and turned to walk upstairs, apparently not taking the wound on his arm seriously at all.


    Zhang Man got a little anxious and pulled on his uninjured wrist, a little harder this time, pulling him in the opposite direction.


    ¡°The infirmary is over there, you¡¯ve gone the wrong way.¡±


    Li Wei for a second was startled, feeling a bit resistant, and turned to look at her hand pulling his wrist.


    A sixteen or seventeen year old girl, she was small and so delicate yet she seemed to have a lot of strength, causing him to not even be able to break free all of a sudden.


    If he tried to break free even harder, he might hurt her.


    The young man¡¯s lips pursed, no longer struggling, and followed her to the infirmary.


    The infirmary was next to the cafeteria, some distance from the school building. She pulled him along, both of them silent without speaking.


    The temperature on the young man¡¯s arm made her hands burn, and Zhang Man gritted her teeth to ignore the strange feeling in her heart, never letting go.


    The atmosphere seemed a little awkward, but she wasn¡¯t an expert at stirring up conversation, so she simply kept her mouth shut and didn¡¯t speak.


    Turning to sneak a glance at him, the expression on the young man¡¯s face was serene, not feeling awkward and uncomfortable a bit.


    Zhang Man lowered her guard. Yes, with him, there was never any need to deliberately find a topic, because they both liked being quiet.


    Their pace gradually slowed down as they passed through the school building area and arrived at the side of the twin city stream.


    It was a very long city stream in N City that ran right across the entire campus.


    However, it was not until the end of the year that it was discovered by a group of people in the city who had been working on a project for the past few years.


    The exquisite and handsome young man is half a step behind the young girl, being held by the wrist and walking forward. His steps were small, as if he had deliberately adjusted them to be in line with the girl.


    It was rather like a pair of walking lovers.


    The infirmary was on the other side of the bridge, and they quickly approached.


    ¡°Teacher, this student¡¯s arm is injured, it looks like it¡¯s quite serious.¡±


    The male doctor wearing a white lab coat was about 50 or 60 years old and looked friendly and gentle. He held the old reading glasses that drooped from the bridge of his nose and lifted Li Wei¡¯s arm to look at it.


    ¡°It¡¯s so swollen, you should have an X-ray to check it out, most likely it¡¯s a bone fracture. The wound is fine though, it¡¯s bleeding a lot, but it shouldn¡¯t be deep.¡±


    Saying that, he took an appreciative glance at Li Wei: ¡°This boy is capable, he¡¯s swollen like this but his face remains unchanged, he has backbone.¡±


    Zhang Man listened to the doctor¡¯s words and took a deep breath as her heart tugged hard.


    She leaned in to take a closer look and found that the area around his wound had been swollen with a very high patch of blue and purple color, which looked appalling.


    It was so badly injured¡­¡­


    The school physician took him inside to get an X-ray, and Zhang Man sat on the bench at the door to wait.


    Her thoughts were a bit confused, as she tried to recall some details in her past life, but she found that she couldn¡¯t remember any of it. All she remembered was that he had taken a leave of absence after bringing back the English books, and only returned to school a week or so later. There were still some students in his class at the time who said he was receiving the top student treatment right after he started school.


    So, at that time, he carried that heavy load of textbooks to the third floor with the pain of a fractured bone and went home alone?


    Zhang Man knew that there was no one at his home and he could only take care of himself when he went back.


    Besides, with his temperament, he would never go to the hospital. How did he spend that week or so in his previous life? Just let the bones grow on their own?


    She sucked in a breath of cold air and clutched at her hand.


    It was only the first day, is there anything more that she didn¡¯t know before?

 CH 4

    Soon the X-ray came out and Zhang Man entered the room, sitting next to the physician to listen to his analysis.


    ¡°The joint in the left lower arm is fractured and must be secured in a plaster cast so that it cannot be dislodged. It¡¯s a good idea to keep your left arm still for a while. You young people have good health, so as long as you take a good rest, it will be all better in a few weeks. The good thing is that the injury is on the left hand, it will not affect your writing.¡±


    Li Wei frowned when he heard that a plaster cast had to be put on, and wanted to refuse as he opened his mouth, but Zhang Man beat him to it.


    The young girl spoke a little faster than usual: ¡°Make it, put it on and make it thicker.¡±


    It would be difficult to live alone with a cast, but she was worried that he would choose to bear it as hard as he had in his previous life.


    The doctor teased her, ¡°Little girl is right, the thicker the plaster, the better.¡±


    Zhang Man knew that she had made a common sense mistake and lowered her head in a somewhat embarrassed manner, using her peripheral vision to take a glance at Li Wei who was sitting next to her.


    The young man¡¯s eyes stopped at the top of her hair, with no particular reason, luckily he didn¡¯t say anything to argue back.


    The process of applying the plaster cast was quick, about twenty minutes later, Li Wei came out with a thick plaster cast strapped on him and his entire left arm hanging from his neck, his appearance was a bit funny.


    Zhang Man looked at his expressionless face, and a familiar pain arose again in a corner of her heart.


    There seemed to be a definite sum over the pain between them, she thought helplessly, it was as if the less pain he showed, the more her heart would hurt.


    This was a bone fracture, not just a simple little wound of some sort.


    Back when she was teaching in high school, she had seen students who had accidentally fallen and fractured their bones. The young boys and girls of this age, who are still the most delicate flowers in the greenhouse, are able to show how painful it was in the first 5 seconds.


    But Li Wei, apart from frowning when he first stood up, had endured it silently until now.


    How could it not hurt?


    She felt so bad that she walked over to him and held his other hand, slowly pulling him out and carefully said: ¡°Li ¡­¡­ classmate, are you in pain? Shout out if it hurts ah, I won¡¯t make fun of you.¡±


    The young man sniffed and spoke quietly, ¡°It¡¯s not a leg injury.¡±


    It was only then that Zhang Man came to realize that she really didn¡¯t need to assist him. However, right now she just wanted to be closer to him, and didn¡¯t want to let go of him at all: ¡°You¡¯re currently wearing a cast on one hand, and your body weight is unbalanced, so you can¡¯t walk steadily.¡±


    After Zhang Man finished speaking, Li Wei didn¡¯t say anything, but he still used his right hand to push her away.


    Although the action was light, she could not refuse.


    Zhang Man saw him walk forward alone, her heart was sour, she quickly followed him, and no longer offered to assist him.


    She told herself, ¡°No hurry, just take your time.


    ¡­¡­


    When they arrived at the classroom, the students were taking turns introducing themselves.


    The two of them quietly entered through the back door of the classroom, but Li Wei¡¯s appearance with a plaster cast still attracted the attention of the whole class as well as the class teacher. No matter whether the students knew him or not, they were all whispering in each other¡¯s ear at the moment.


    At this point, even Liu Chang, who had just kept provoking him, couldn¡¯t help but feel a little guilty, not expecting him to be hurt so badly just now. Seeing him upset was one thing, but he didn¡¯t want to really hurt him.


    The class teacher, Liu Zhijun, frowned at the situation and asked, ¡°This student, what¡¯s wrong with you? What¡¯s your name?¡±


    The tone wasn¡¯t too good, and if this happened on the first day of school, he¡¯d have to take some responsibility as a classroom teacher if the parents found it.


    Li Wei mechanically said the usual reply.


    ¡°Li Wei. It¡¯s nothing, I just fell ¡­¡­¡±


    However, at this time, there was a twist and he was interrupted.


    ¡°Reporting to the teacher, I just saw it all downstairs, he was hit by these two students.¡±


    The young lady¡¯s voice was just like his with no rise and fall, simply making an unbiased statement.


    As she spoke, she raised her finger to point at Liu Chang and Wang Xiaofeng.


    As soon as she finished speaking, class teacher Liu Zhijun¡¯s eyes looked sharply at Liu Chang, who had just finished introducing himself, with a not-so-gentle expression on his face.


    The whole class also looked at them.


    Liu Chang¡¯s face instantly turned red and stammered, ¡°Teacher, I ¡­¡­ just ran too fast, and I didn¡¯t think I would hurt him too much.¡±


    Liu Zhijun, who has never been a kind-hearted class teacher, didn¡¯t bother to listen to his explanation: ¡°Liu Chang and Wang Xiaofeng will write a letter of apology to student Li Wei and give it to him before the end of the school day today, and will also pay the corresponding medical expenses. Li Wei, you take the apology letter back to your parents for their signature, and give it to me tomorrow, this matter is over. The whole class should take a lesson from this, you are not in middle school now, stop always playing crazy after class, it is better to read a book¡­¡­ Self-introductions continue.¡±


    Zhang Man sneaked a glance up at Li Wei, who was still looking at his book as if nothing had happened, his demeanor not fluctuating in the slightest.


    She knew in her heart that her actions might not be a help to him, but rather looking for some trouble.


    He really didn¡¯t care, nor was he bothered.


    Zhang Man squeezed the cover of her new textbook and bit her lip. All she wanted was to see him angry, to see him go and fight like a normal person instead of living in his own world forever and not caring about anything.


    ¡­¡­


    Liu Chang and Wang Xiaofeng¡¯s apology letters were quickly handed over, Liu Chang was still a little embarrassed and apologized with his head held high, Wang Xiaofeng¡¯s attitude was pretty good though, and even brought lunch for Li Wei from the cafeteria.


    The two apology letters were put into Li Wei¡¯s bag by Li Wei, Zhang Man suddenly thought, the class teacher wanted him to ask his parents to sign, who could he ask for signature?


    There was no one left at his house.


    During lunch break, a few girls from the class came over to chat with Li Wei.


    In fact, with his appearance, it was hard not to notice him.


    The one leading among the several girls was Dai Xi, the newly appointed Arts and Literature Committee member of their class, and also the acknowledged belle of the class in her previous life.


    When the school year started in the previous life, because of Li Wei¡¯s appearance, the entire First Middle School caused a sensation, no matter if it was the first year female students or some of the second and third year senior sisters, all of them were crazy for Li Wei for a long time.


    But later on, after some rumors related to Li Wei had spread throughout the school, the attitude of the whole school towards him had undergone a huge change. Back then, Zhang Man had always scoffed at those rumors, but now that she thought about it, she feared that most of them were true.


    Both of their spots were surrounded by a few girls, looking at their slightly excited eyes, Zhang Man dropped her eyes and felt a hint of anger in her heart. In her previous life, they said verbally that they liked him, but after hearing some bad rumors about him, they shunned him and even spoke ill of him.


    Then she felt bad again.


    Why talk about others, when she herself was no different. While she had scoffed at those rumors about him in her previous life, she still chose not to believe him when those things happened and had transferred schools without batting an eye.


    She was like them. No, she was the one who hurt him the most.


    ¡°Li Wei classmate, do you have any special talents? The school is organizing a national day performance next month, and the class teacher just asked me to organize the students¡¯ registration.¡± Dai Xi was a pretty girl, tall and straight, with a habit of raising her chin when she spoke.


    Li Wei didn¡¯t even raise his eyelids, only shook his head.


    When she wanted to say more on the subject, Zhang Man didn¡¯t give her a chance: ¡°Can¡¯t you see he has trouble with his hands? Even if there was any talent, he couldn¡¯t perform.¡±


    Dai Xi choked for a moment, unable to think of a new topic, so she just said, ¡°Be careful and take a rest¡± and left. Before leaving, she gave a meaningful glance towards Zhang Man, being obviously dissatisfied with the way she interrupted.


    ¡°Tsk¡­ Li Wei, you don¡¯t need to pay attention to them. You have difficulty with your hands and feet right now, that whatever National Day Gathering, isn¡¯t necessary for everyone to attend.¡±


    The young man raised his head and for once returned a word, ¡°Mm.¡±


    His eyes stopped for a moment at the face of the young girl beside him and then returned to the book in his hand.


    No one noticed the sarcasm that flashed in his eyes.


    He had experienced this kind of thing so many, many times. Every time he arrived at a new place, he would always receive some attention, but after that, they would all fear him, loathe him, so how could anyone like him half as much.


    He is afraid that his new classmates are like that too.


    Human consciousness and emotions were the most ethereal of things, and he didn¡¯t want, or need to get involved in the slightest.

 CH 5

    There are many things that would be inconvenient with one hand, such as changing the ink of the fountain pen.


    Li Wei unskillfully unscrewed the ink bottle and the back cap of the fountain pen with one hand, but he accidentally scuffed the ink on his hand when he was handling it. He looked at the dirty ink on his hand with a stunned look, a trace of chagrin flashed in his eyes.


    Zhang Man just happened to go to the third class to look for his best friend Chen Feier during class, and when she returned, she saw him sitting dumbly, his hands full of black ink.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you wait for me to come back when you changed the ink?¡± Zhang Man looked at him somewhat reproachfully, ¡°Why are you still sitting stupidly, go wash your hands.¡±


    The young man seemed to have just regained consciousness and stood up blankly and walked to the bathroom. When he finally washed his hands and returned to his place, he found that everything on the table was all neatly packed.


    The desk stained with a small dribble of ink had been wiped clean with a wet rag, the pen had been inked and capped, and the ink bottle had been placed closed in its box.


    He pursed his lips and looked at the young girl at the side, she was talking to the students in front of her, her voice was low, with little expression, and the neat bangs on her forehead bobbed as she nodded and shook her head.


    After one day, Li Wei felt that she was a bit strange. Most of the time she was extremely quiet, and had no presence when talking to others, and didn¡¯t like to smile, just like now.


    But sometimes she was different, such as downstairs when she stepped on Liu Chang¡¯s foot, he saw clearly that it was obviously intentional; she pulled his hand to the infirmary and wouldn¡¯t allow him to refuse in the slightest; in the morning, she reported loudly to the teacher that he was hit by someone, with a trace of anger flashing in her eyes.


    And just now, chiding himself for not waiting for her to come back, the anger in her eyes, was as if he belonged to her.


    Li Wei suddenly felt a bit irritated.


    Why bother, she¡¯ll change in a few days anyway.


    He shook his head and focused his thoughts on the formula that he had just not finished pushing. He knew that there were still some things in this world that were eternal and unchanging, they were always there quietly waiting for him and would never lie to him.


    When Zhang Man saw Li Wei was starting to read, she consciously unscrewed the cap of the pen for him, buckled it on the end and handed it to him. She also prepared a few pieces of draft paper for him and placed them on the top of the desk.


    She did this quite naturally, except this time it was laborious.


    The young man, somewhat overreacting, set down the pen she had shoved into his hand heavily, and went specifically to retrieve a new one from his pencil pouch. He pushed the draft she¡¯d prepared onto her own desk and spread out an exercise book for himself, to work out the calculations.


    It was as if he was against her.


    His long and slender fingers and knuckles were still stained with a bit of ink, as if they couldn¡¯t be washed clean, and he held the pen so tightly that Zhang Man was worried that the pen would be crushed.


    Zhang Man took a deep breath, but she wasn¡¯t frustrated. It was only the first day, so he should always be given some time to adjust.


    Even a stray kitten would be confused and anxious for a long time when it was adopted, not to mention a person who had been alone for so many years .


    ¡­¡­


    On the first day of school, the teachers of the various subjects basically didn¡¯t teach any serious classes or leave homework. At the end of class, her best friend Chen Feier came over to look for her, and they went to the milk tea shop at the entrance together.


    ¡°My God, Man Man, that boy just now is your new desk-mate? He¡¯s so handsome, ah! Do you have his contact information?¡±


    As soon as she left the classroom, Chen Feier began to ask a series of questions, her eyes wide with excitement.


    Chen Feier and her have been best friends since elementary school and are currently in the same high school, though she is in a regular class. She was very lively, optimistic and jumpy, and could always face whatever came her way in a positive way. This was also the reason why Zhang Man liked being with her the most, her happiness is always spread partly to her.


    This time however, Zhang Man was a bit helpless: ¡°Feier, don¡¯t hit on him, he¡¯s the one I like.¡±


    Chen Feier was a bit confused, completely disbelieving that such words would come out of the mouth of the loveless woman herself, Zhang Man.


    She seriously suspected that she had misheard.


    ¡°What did you just say?¡±


    Zhang Man repeated in a bad mood, ¡°I said, I like him, I want to be with him, that¡¯s all.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±, Chen Feier opened her mouth a bit in shock, ¡°Oh, shoot! No, What¡¯s with you, did you knock your socks off? Is it your mom? Did she have a new boyfriend that made you feel that way?¡±


    As Chen Feier spoke she even nervously approached to touch Zhang Man¡¯s forehead.


    Zhang Man laughed helplessly and slapped her hand away, ¡°What are you talking nonsense? I¡¯m serious with you, I¡¯m chasing him.¡±


    In her previous life, when she told Chen Feier that she had liked Li Wei since transferring to another school, she was also shocked, but more than that, she was relieved. After all, at that time, like the other students, she already knew those things about Li Wei and perhaps felt fortunate that Zhang Man didn¡¯t end up with him.


    Chen Feier instantly jumped up and down: ¡°Wow, after spending three years of high school together, you want to betray me on the first day, Man Man? Even if he¡¯s this handsome, he¡¯s not that good, is he? Say, do you know him already? Otherwise, the speed at which you fall in love is on par with your mother.¡±


    Zhang Man shook her head.


    She knew him more then ¡­¡­ but couldn¡¯t say anything.


    They walked to the milk tea shop, Chen Feier ordered a cup of her favorite boba milk tea with a deluxe cheese topping.


    Zhang Man ordered two cups of Mango Sago, she vaguely remembered Li Wei love to eat mangoes, in her previous life she went to his home to study physics, and would always carry a few of them to his home.


    Chen Feier saw her buy two cups, rolled her eyes: ¡°Come on Man Man, he hasn¡¯t become your boyfriend yet, and you¡¯re so considerate to him already? Tsk tsk ¡­¡­ really didn¡¯t expect to see you like this one day, I simply lived long enough to see it. Do you know that your impression in my heart has always been the kind of person who would never get married even into their thirties, since you are the one with no desires yourself!¡±


    Zhang Man was amused by her, the corners of her mouth slightly hooked. The one who knew her best was indeed Chen Feier, and it was also true that she had not married in her previous life when she was in her thirties.


    Chen Feier was a little surprised to see her laughing again, ¡°Man Man, you¡¯ve laughed several times today. You¡¯re actually really pretty when you smile.¡±


    She added, ¡°Man Man, no matter who you like, it¡¯s good that you¡¯re happy.¡±


    ¡­¡­


    Back to the classroom, Zhang Man put one of the cup of sago to Li Wei¡¯s desk corner, and also thoughtfully gave him a straw.


    The teenager was biting his pencil trying to think of a formula, pushing a few strokes on the draft paper from time to time, not noticing her actions at all.


    The trash bin under his drawer was already littered with scrap papers.


    Zhang Man flipped through it, and it was filled with complicated formulas, many of which even she, a former high school physics teacher, had never seen before. Moreover, there were two unopened love letters in the trash.


    Zhang Man propped her chin up to look at him.


    He always had a habit of biting his pen when he was thinking about a problem, and some of the gold lacquer from the circle on the cap of his fountain pen had fallen off. Probably thinking about a difficult problem, his eyebrows narrowed in a frown, his long lashes casting a shadow on his cheeks.


    She liked that about him, with his eyes in focus, his whole body looked like it sprung to life, no longer like a cold doll.


    It stayed that way for about five minutes, as the young man wrote a few formulas on a piece of paper with a pen and lightly nodded his head, as if affirming the ideas in his head.


    After writing the last stroke, he covered the book, and his expression gradually became happy.


    So much that when he happened to look up at her, the pleasure and gentleness in his eyes hadn¡¯t dissipated yet.


    Zhang Man gave him a wink and pushed the mango sago in the corner of the table in front of him: ¡°Are you tired? Here¡¯s a drink, I bought a buy one get one free at the milk tea shop at the entrance.¡±


    The young man returned to his usual indifferent self at this point and pushed the Mango sago back onto her table.


    ¡°I saw you there with your friend.¡±


    Zhang Man was stunned and only then reacted that he was calling her a liar. Since she was there with a friend, the buy one get one free one should have been one cup for her and Chen Feier respectively.


    Zhang Man chuckled lightly, it was true that sometimes having a slower reaction was not enough to keep up with his thinking.


    ¡°Alright, it¡¯s the one I bought specifically for you. I think it tastes good, want to try it?¡±


    The young man pursed his lips without speaking, and after a long time, he suddenly looked up at her.


    His eyes were serious with a certain distance. ¡°What do you want?¡±


    That was the question, but the look on his face was so obvious ¨C ¡®whatever you want, you won¡¯t get it from me.¡¯ She was reaching the limit of his patience with her series of actions.

 CH 6

    In fact, that¡¯s what Li Wei believed. No matter what she wanted, she would be disappointed in the end. Rather than waiting until she was greatly disappointed and then blaming it back on him like those people in the past, it was better for her to stay away from him now.


    Zhang Man understood what he was saying and understood that he was so distrustful of so-called emotions. He simply didn¡¯t believe that someone would be nice to him for no reason at all.


    If she said now that she liked him, it would only make him more agitated.


    She closed her eyes, pressed down the sourness in her heart, tried her best to pull out a relaxed smile and said the excuse she had thought of before: ¡°I have one thing that I have been too embarrassed to say, worried that ¡­¡­ it would be too much trouble for you. Li Wei, I heard them say that you are particularly good at Physics, I¡­ am not too good with Physics, can you give me extra lessons every weekend? I can pay and in exchange and I can take care of you until your cast is removed.¡±


    Everything happened in a roundabout way, always repeating in a cycle. Zhang Man remembered that the two of them became familiar with each other in their previous lives because she had asked him to tutor her in physics, except that this life was a semester earlier.


    She worried that the teenager wouldn¡¯t believe her, and gripped her fingers again, her voice very low, ¡°I will be transferred to a regular class next semester if my grades are very poor.¡±


    After she said that, the young man in front of her was quiet for a moment and somewhat surprised, blinking his eyes, as if he hadn¡¯t expected such a reason.


    He dropped his eyes in contemplation, and after a long time his slender fingers held the cup of sago from earlier and raised it to his mouth, taking a sip on the straw.


    Her offer worked.


    He was now living with a cast on his left hand and there were many inconveniences in his life, which sometimes he did need help with. Li Wei liked this kind of fair trade, where the give and take was calculated at the very beginning, and each took what they needed, without involving the most obnoxious feelings and without having to owe for anything.


    The easiest thing to do is to make a clear-cut deal. Because it allows you to at least proactively gauge whether or not you can afford to give what the other person is asking for, and you¡¯ll be able to accept what she gives without being burdened.


    The worst thing in the world is to say that because you like someone, you can do anything selflessly for them. What¡¯s that like? What happens tomorrow if the feeling change? Am I going to¡­ hell?


    ¡°Deal.¡±


    With that being said, he still didn¡¯t look at her and continued to open the next book. But Zhang Man could feel that he was in a better mood.


    The next morning, Li Wei took out the signed apology letter from his bag and placed it on the top right corner of the desk, waiting for the first period to hand it over to the form teacher.


    Zhang Man found that his mental state was very bad today, with heavy dark circles and red and blue veins in his eyes.


    She sneaked a glance at the apology letter on the desk, and the parent¡¯s signature was signed in beautiful handwriting: ¡®


    ¡®I have read it.¡¯ ¡ªLin Hui


    When she saw the name, her heart felt like it had been hit by a heavy hammer. After two lifetimes, seeing it with her own eyes again, she was still quite shocked. She bent down and pretended to be sleepy and yawned, then blinked away the tears that were trying to rush out.


    She was blaming herself constantly, was it wrong of her to stand up for him like that? When he got home last night, did he experience the same thing again?


    The young man saw that she had been lying on the table and asked, somewhat hesitantly, ¡°¡­ not feeling well?¡±


    Zhang Man quickly adjusted her state and looked up at him: ¡°No, just didn¡¯t sleep well last night, I¡¯m a bit sleepy.¡±


    Li Wei nodded and took out another exercise book from his backpack, it was a high school physics exercise book that looked a bit old.


    ¡°The book I used to use has a lot of my notes on it, you can go back and read it first. I don¡¯t need the payment, I usually have difficulty with school and I¡¯d like you to help me out with it. You¡¯ll come to my house this weekend for three hours a day, and I¡¯ll give you a crash course for the first semester. Kinesiology and biomechanics are relatively simple for the first semester, so you should be able to get it done in a month.¡±


    Li Wei has been very forward in learning Physics, and the ¡°Quantum mechanics¡± that he is reading now is already the content for the third year of general Theoretical Physics major, like those light and superficial ones that are still within the scope of Newton¡¯s three laws, he probably learned almost everything on his own at a very young age.


    After he finished, he saw that Zhang Man didn¡¯t respond, only stared at him with her chin in her hand, and assumed that she was distracted. With a frown, he turned around and went to read his own book without bothering to say it again.


    Zhang Man was indeed distracted, because this was the longest speech she had heard him speak since she was reborn.


    He actually had a nice voice, it was lower pitched and slightly hoarse, which didn¡¯t quite match his delicate and good-looking appearance.


    Zhang Man thought to herself, if only he could talk a lot every day.


    ¡­¡­


    On Friday, it was Zhang Man¡¯s turn to be on duty, and she stayed in the classroom, dazed as she cleaned up. Tomorrow, she would be going to Li Wei¡¯s house to make up for the class, although her previous life had been a light ride, there were many details that were not easy to remember. She wanted to compensate him for the best things in the world but was also worried that he wouldn¡¯t like her anymore.


    She thought carefully about the memories of their previous time together.


    It was after the final exams of the first semester, her physics score was the lowest in the class and her form teacher Liu Zhijun gave her a notice that if she didn¡¯t manage to score in the top 30 in the second semester, she would be transferred to a regular class.


    The form teacher set up a study group in the class consisting of a top student and a bottom student, and since she was at the same desk with Li Wei, they naturally became a team.


    At that time, she couldn¡¯t do the test papers assigned by the teacher every weekend, so she proposed to go to Li Wei¡¯s house to be taught by him.


    Li Wei was initially as indifferent as he is now, and similarly, she was only anxious about her own grades and had no interest in his life either. In the beginning, except for a question and answer session, the two of them discussed Physics problems and never spoke more than half a sentence.


    How did they become familiar with each other later? And when did he fall in love with her?


    Zhang Man was lost in her thoughts when she heard someone calling her.


    She came back to her senses and found that it was Chen Feier.


    ¡°Man Man, Man Man ah? What are you thinking about so deeply?¡± Chen Feier held out her hand in front of Zhang Man¡¯s eyes, her expression quite serious.


    ¡°Nothing, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Zhang Man saw her solemn expression and leaned the broom to one side to listen to her.


    Chen Feier pinched her sleeve and was silent for quite a long time before answering: ¡°I don¡¯t know how to say this but¡­ Man Man, your desk mate is Li Wei, right? Let me ask you, are you really in love with him? Can you not like him?¡±


    She had heard some not-so-good rumors about the guy and although she couldn¡¯t confirm them yet, she always felt that Li Wei was a strange person.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart thudded as she listened to her words.


    The things that were meant to come would always come, there were always people who had known Li Wei since he was a child and knew the things he used to do. When Li Wei first came to the school, the attention he received was so high that even Zhang Man couldn¡¯t count how many love letters he had received in total over the past few days.


    The more attention he received, the faster the rumors about him would spread.


    When Zhang Man thought of the sarcastic smile on his lips every time he received those love letters, she felt pain like pins and needles in her heart.


    ¡°Feier, I know what you¡¯re going to say, I know all about his affairs. I don¡¯t care.¡±


    Zhang Man looked at her and said seriously.


    Chen Feier looked at her for a long while, swallowed what she was going to say, and merely said, ¡°Man Man, if you really like him, then I support you. However, if one day you don¡¯t like him anymore you must let go, okay? Don¡¯t ever let yourself get hurt.¡±


    Zhang Man touched her head without saying anything, her heart was already full of thoughts of him.


    Translator¡¯s Note:


    ¡°The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.¡±


    ¨C Albert Einstein


    Hey guys I change the theme completely. How was it? Is it good? I saw that many readers uses phones, so I made it more simple. ?

 CH 7

    When Zhang Man got home, Zhang Huifang was sitting on the living room sofa, watching a harmless and funny variety show as she wore a sweater. When she saw something interesting, she laughed so hard that her face became a blooming flower.


    When she was young, Zhang Huifang made a lot of money in the bar business with her friends and bought several houses in N City, one to live in herself and the others to rent out. She has not worked since Zhang Man can remember, and mother and daughter live on some financial dividends and rent, so their lives are fairly good.


    Frankly speaking, Zhang Huifang¡¯s own life was a mess, but it wasn¡¯t bad for her, although it wasn¡¯t as all-consuming as other mothers. For someone as capricious and selfish as her, her attitude towards Zhang Man was already much better compared to others.


    Although she kept changing many boyfriends and all sorts of people to bring home, she never left anyone overnight. She had a good grasp of propriety and it barely affected Zhang Man¡¯s life. Of course, whether it had affected her personality or not, that was another story.


    ¡°Dinner is on the table, go do your homework when you¡¯re done.¡± Zhang Huifang smoothly flipped up the brown curls that hung down to her chest, yawning and mechanically repeating the action in her hand.


    She didn¡¯t skimp on her beauty at all, her whole body was like an intense red rose that still bloomed warmly and brightly even after some age.


    ¡°Mm.¡±


    Zhang Man looked at her, remembering the reason why she had transferred to a new school in his previous life in her sophomore year of high school, and pressed her eyebrows anxiously.


    Zhang Huifang will meet her next boyfriend, Zheng Zhi, this winter and will follow him to H City a year later without any hesitation, even if she has to follow suit and transfer to another school.


    Zheng Zhi is a man who on the surface seems polite, gentle and considerate, with a sensual and artistic style that other greasy middle-aged men don¡¯t have, making Zhang Huifang fall in love with him at first sight.


    In the beginning, the two got along so much better than with Zhang Huifang¡¯s former boyfriend that even Zhang Man was convinced that for once her mother had found her true love. However, after the mother and daughter followed Zheng Zhi to H City in their previous lives, the man¡¯s hypocritical nature began to be exposed. He is not only a hustler, but also a lustful and tyrannical gambler, who has lost all of Zhang Huifang¡¯s savings by throwing a lot of money at the gambling table just to save his face, using his poor gambling skills.


    In the end, Zhang Huifang¡¯s breakup with him was quite miserable, so much that in future, she completely lost faith in love and stayed alone until she was reborn.


    Therefore, whether it was to stay by Li Wei¡¯s side or for Zhang Huifang¡¯s sake, she had to do something about it. That scum who cheated money and love, she wouldn¡¯t allow him to set foot in their house half a step again.


    After finishing her meal, Zhang Man returned to her room and opened the computer to go on the school posting site.


    She flipped through the bits and pieces of posts, and sure enough, she quickly saw a floating red hot post, in which people were successively spilling out some rumors related to Li Wei.


    ¡¾Landlord¡¿: I think we all know about the 1st class Li Wei, the one who has good grades and looks super handsome. He and I were in the same middle school back then, he was also very famous in the school but I advise you ladies to be more sensible, this person has problems! Would you like to hear it? If so, I¡¯ll be back after dinner.


    ¡¾A flower in a middle school¡¿: Of course I know Li Wei. Although it¡¯s only been a week since he started school, this little brother¡¯s face totally beats those nasty guys in school, okay? By the way, what¡¯s his problem? It couldn¡¯t be that he¡¯s gay, no?


    ¡¾Angry Pig¡¿:  I feel like this would be a big gossip, watermelon-eating person here¡­


    ¡¾Moon Water Rises¡¿: I already know what the landlord is going to say ¡­¡­ To be honest, Li Wei¡¯s matter is quite famous in our area, in fact, you can check it out by looking at our Middle High School posting bar, or you can continue to eat watermelons here ah¡­¡­


    ¡¾Landlord¡¿: I¡¯m back from dinner, sorry to keep everyone waiting. Li Wei this person is not just abnormal, he is schizophrenic. His father was a psychopath. Do you know what happened to him in the end? I heard that Li Wei once came back from swimming outside when he was little, still wet and his father thought he should dry him out, so he hung him by the neck with a rope to the clothesline ¡­¡­ and was nearly out of breath when he was rescued.


    ¡¾Did you take your medication today?¡¿£ºF*ck, can¡¯t the landlord give a quick warning first? Scared the shit out of me in the middle of the night¡­¡­ So creepy ah! Hanging on the clothesline ¡­¡­ made my cold hairs stand on end, Mental illness is too scary. So Li Wei is actually pitiful ah.


    ¡¾Landlord¡¿: We felt sorry for him at first when we heard about it too, but!!!! The point is that Li Wei himself went to the hospital for tests when he was young and was also diagnosed as a schizophrenic, exactly like his father!


    ¡¾Angry Pig¡¿:  No way ah, I¡¯ve seen him a few times and he seems pretty normal to me. What happened to him¡­ It¡¯s scary ah. Then, that¡¯s not just attempted murder ¡­ Holy fudge, this is giving me goosebumps¡­


    ¡¾Moon Water Rises¡¿:  A lot of our middle school classmates have seen him talking to himself alone, talking to the air, and looking crazy. Anyway, what the landlord said is true, my classmate and Li Wei¡¯s family is from the same neighborhood. I heard that when he was in primary school, he had a seizure and locked a boy in his class in the bathroom for a whole day and when that boy came out, he was almost scared silly.


    ¡¾Bulletproof Kid¡¿£ºI¡¯m kind of convinced that ¡­¡­ Many mentally ill people actually seem to be normal most of the time.


    ¡¾Landlord¡¿: Thanks to the students in the previous row for explaining. So, even though he¡¯s not committing any crime right now, he¡¯s just a ****. I just don¡¯t understand why people like this can go to school like normal people! What if one day they get some kind of stimulus and become mentally ill and take revenge on society? Did you guys know that Psychiatric offences are not punishable?


    ¡¾Eating watermelon¡¿: Cherish your life and stay away from Li Wei.


    ¡¾==¡¿: Up this comment ¡ü


    ¡­¡­


    Zhang Man was having a hard time looking at it, more and more people were replying to this post, the better impression Li Wei had left before, the deeper everyone¡¯s curiosity and panic now.


    She closed the webpage and lay on the bed with her eyes open, her right hand unconsciously picking at the bed sheet. She kept telling herself in her heart, don¡¯t be angry with these people, they are just a bunch of immature children. In their minds, there is no concept of what exists as reasonable, they are young and only know that Schizophrenia seems to be something scary and new, which is why they hang on to it as if it will be comforting for everyone to go stomp on it.


    They still don¡¯t know how much it hurts to laugh at other people¡¯s misfortunes.


    In her previous life, she had shared a desk with Li Wei for over a year and had never noticed anything abnormal about him, so she scoffed at the rumors that he was suffering from Schizophrenia.


    But now that she knew that it was all true. After Li Wei committed suicide, his life, childhood, and upbringing had been revealed one by one, causing her to be shaken when she thought back to this day.


    Zhang Man brought her hands up to cover her eyes, her hands subconsciously gripping the bed sheets.


    He was only seven years old when such an unthinkable thing happened and for someone so young and so small, who was supposed to be the most joyous of ages, suffered in ways that no adult could endure.


    Naturally, this was only the beginning of all the misfortune.


    The empty room was surrounded by up to the ceiling bookshelves on three sides and a huge desk was set up on the one side against the floor to ceiling windows. Outside the window is a sight of a high-rise building at night, a car drove sparsely through the not-so-congested roads of the small town.


    Li Wei was sitting at his desk pushing an equation from quantum mechanics and halfway through writing it, he suddenly forgot a theorem from a matrix calculation. He rubbed his eyebrows, and stood up and took two steps with a bit of anxiety.


    It had been almost a week and his body hadn¡¯t quite adjusted to having his left hand in a cast, the bandage hanging around his neck was rubbing against the back of his neck causing it to ache.


    He went to one of the shelves and deftly lifted his hand to draw a reference book from the third tier of books, but ended up bringing down an entire row of books by mistake.


    ¡®A dozen or twelve books fell on him with a clatter.¡¯


    He ignored it, flipping through the book first to take a look at the formulas from before, and hurried back to his desk to continue finishing the derivations he hadn¡¯t been able to make. Those formulas seemed to be disassembled and crammed into his head, like a ball of interwoven wool and only after half an hour, could he straighten out a thread.


    Li Wei stopped writing and only then did he notice the pile of books that had fallen by the bookshelf, he fidgeted and pressed his eyebrows, feeling a little tired.


    He shook his head, took a deep breath to calm himself, went to the bookshelf, squatted down, picked up the books with his right hand and put them back in their original position, his heart still had an uncontrollable irritation.


    Suddenly someone came to mind.


    She was quiet, but stubborn. She dragged him forcefully to the infirmary, she rushed the school nurse to give him a thicker plaster cast, she bought him delicious mango sago and lied to him that it was a ¡®buy one and get one free¡¯.


    If she had been here, would she have been able to stay with him in peace?


    The thoughts were just there and the recent irritation intensified immensely, as Li Wei returned the last book to its original position he kicked the bookshelf.


    He clenched his hands to stop himself from thinking about that unrealistic possibility. Inertia was a unique property of all things of quality, but thoughts could not have inertia.


    Once you get used to it, you will count the gains and the losses, and you will suffer the consequences.

 CH 8

    Early the next morning, Zhang Man left the door with a stack of books and exercises with her. Li Wei lived in the central city, about half an hour away from her house by bus.


    The bus came quickly and there was barely a wait.


    This year¡¯s N City hasn¡¯t been connected to the subway yet so while Zhang Man is riding on the bus she kept looking at the familiar scenery outside the window and felt dazed. A lot of memories from the past have been blurred, but some of them regarding him, she remembered clearly because she repeatedly dreamed about him in the following years.


    Once in the previous life, she finished her make-up classes and came out of Li Wei¡¯s house very late and he made an unprecedented offer to take her to the station.


    It was a late winter, the green belt beside the road is still covered with snow and the street lights are dim, but there is still a bright full moon up in the sky.


    The two of them walked along the asphalt road and the harsh evening breeze blew the tree branches on both sides of the road into a rustle. At that time she liked to walk on the narrow edge of the road beside the green belt and accidentally stepped on the frozen ice, her foot slipped suddenly and she lost her balance.


    She remembered very clearly when Li Wei held her from the side to save her from falling.


    Under the pale moonlight, the sounds of their heartbeats were on the same frequency, both getting faster and faster. She had sharp eyes and saw his slightly reddened ears.


    Neither of them said anything but they seemed to understand each other¡¯s feelings.


    Which was why, after that, she was in complete disbelief that he¡¯d lied to her. The anger of being cheated on was so overwhelming that it made her deny everything she knew from before, causing her to get so angry at him, especially when she deliberately went out with another boy in front of him.


    Zhang Man remembered the dark pupils of the young man¡¯s eyes at that time, which had lost almost all their radiance in the remaining period before she transferred to another school. He had become even more reclusive, withdrawn and paranoid, and the relationship between them never went back to what it was before.


    Someone as proud as him must have struggled but eventually he gave in and wrote a love letter to her, asking if she could always be with him.


    But got no reply.


    She once gave him a candy but took it back, cheating him out of his heart.


    ¡­¡­


    When the bus arrived at the station, Zhang Man walked into the neighborhood next to her, found Li Wei¡¯s house according to her memory and pressed the doorbell. After waiting for three or four minutes before someone opened the door, the young man saw that it was her, nodded and let her in, then took a pair of lady slippers from the shoe cabinet to her.


    She put on the slippers and followed Li Wei to the study.


    His house was big but empty, with very little furniture. There was no TV or other entertainment equipment in the living room, only a small transparent coffee table.


    But it was cleaned very well and there was no odor or whatsoever.


    Li Wei smoothly moved a chair from the living room into the study room and placed it next to his seat. The desk was large and the two people using it together wouldn¡¯t interfere with each other at all.


    ¡°There is water to drink in the refrigerator, you do your homework first, write down what you don¡¯t know and ask me uniformly after an hour.¡± After he said that, he continued with the unfinished deduction at hand.


    Zhang Man wanted to find something to talk about: ¡°Li Wei, what are we going to eat for lunch later?¡±


    The young man frowned, the last of his thoughts from last night were broken here, and he was in a bad mood right now and didn¡¯t want to be disturbed.


    Pressing down on his irritation, he said, ¡°There¡¯s food in the fridge.¡±


    Zhang Man heard that there was food and became interested, continuing to ask, ¡°You made it?¡±


    ¡°My mom made it ¡­¡­ shut up.¡± He finally lost all patience.


    It was unexpected to hear this answer. Zhang Man¡¯s heart was feeling empty and she clutched her school bag in distress. She carefully restrained her breathing, refraining from showing any hint of pain.


    She sat for a while, having a hidden conjecture inside and excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving the study to go to the dining room.


    Pulling open the refrigerator door, there was a meat and vegetable dish, both properly placed on a porcelain plate. She went to the kitchen again and the kitchenware was so clean it looked like it hadn¡¯t been used at all. So she took a look at the trash can and sure enough, there were two takeaway boxes thrown in there.


    Zhang Man closed the refrigerator door and leaned against it to breathe deeply, and only by clenching her hand could she restrain herself from shaking with difficulty. The cold and panic triggered from the bottom of her heart made her feel as if he was so far away from her even though he was in the study just a few steps away.


    ¡­¡­


    After her mood calmed down, she returned to study as if nothing had happened, took out her textbook and exercise set and began to work.


    The first year of senior high school Physics was easy enough for her now. In her previous life, she had been admitted to a provincial teacher¡¯s college and was studying Physics. At that time, several classmates, including teachers, didn¡¯t quite understand her, because of all the subjects, her weakest had always been Physics.


    Zhang Man also had no idea why she had chosen Physics and ended up staying at the high school in H City as an ordinary Physics teacher.


    After teaching Physics for so many years, these simple Kinesiology topics were already familiar to her. But the more she knew, the less he could teach her.


    So Zhang Man carelessly picked one of the pages and checked the options randomly.


    It was a bit hard to spend an hour doing something that she was already completely skilled at.


    Zhang Man finished choosing the multiple choice options and filled in a few random formulas under some big questions, raising her hand to look at her watch, only ten minutes of time had passed. She then pretended to be thinking about the problem, while taking a peek at Li Wei.


    He was still habitually biting his pencil, his eyebrows were not as tightly furrowed as they were at the beginning and he seemed to have a new idea about the problem at hand. On his right earlobe, there was a small red mole that looked very sexy. His lips are well-defined with a cracked lip line that appears a bit dry. His long eyelashes flickered as he thought about the problem and his dark eyes were frighteningly bright, as if they held the entire universe.


    He picked up a pen and made a quick deduction on the paper, the smoothness of his thinking allowing him to quickly finish writing a page full of paper. Zhang Man looked at the formulas on his paper, she could only understand a few bits and pieces, aware that it was probably Quantum Mechanics.


    He is a genius at Physics.


    His perception and insight into the world is almost a hundred times greater than that of the others. Such a person, with a certain amount of reserve knowledge, can often find new ideas in tedious and boring subjects.


    And his associative ability is so strong that a complex Physics formula, which is a step-by-step mathematical deduction in the eyes of ordinary people, can be a vivid physical image before his eyes. He was able to naturally correspond those deep-rooted formulas to intuitive physical phenomena and this keen intuition allowed him to take many less detours than the rest of the world.


    Zhang Man was slowly becoming dazed.


    She had met some nice guys in her previous life in college, including those who later joined in the workplace. But in her heart she would always subconsciously compare them to the young man she remembered, and there was no one else who could make her heart flutter as much as he did, to the point where she could never forget him.


    She had loved his brilliance before and now, likewise, fell in love with the other part of him that gave rise to his sharp mind.


    She was probably so engrossed in her thoughts that Li Wei knocked on the table in front of her with his right hand and only then did she come back to her senses.


    The young man was leaning over to examine the exercise set in front of her, his thin lips gradually pursed to the point that he even snorted at the end.


    He put down the exercise set and pushed it away from himself, as if he never wanted to see the terrible answers again.


    ¡°You¡¯re switching to Liberal Arts next semester, you¡¯re not cut out for Physics.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Zhang Man opened her mouth, and secretly said, ¡°Oh no, I was so focused on choosing the wrong option and I forgot how to do it properly.¡±


    She could only force to redeem herself, ¡°I actually am still very interested in Physics, it¡¯s just that I¡¯m just a little unfamiliar with it in high school. And although I have a poor foundation I¡¯m not dumb, you teach me, I will surely do well.¡±


    The young man listened to her sincere words, his appearance a little gentler, retrieved the paper and looked at it carefully.


    After about ten minutes, he looked at her over his shoulder seriously, his expression a little angry: ¡°¡­¡­ I can¡¯t summarize your questions, each of your mistakes are all different points and have no pattern. Zhang Man, a person¡¯s thinking and logic, whether right or wrong, should at least be consistent. Your answers, however, do not reflect logic at all, so there is only one possibility. You picked them all randomly.¡±


    He said standing up and with a grimace he gathered up her books and papers and put them in her bag.


    ¡°You go back, don¡¯t come here anymore, your focus is not on studying. I don¡¯t want to waste both of our time.¡±


    Li Wei was disappointed, it seemed that this fair deal in his eyes had already changed into something else. What she wanted might not be what was agreed upon in the beginning.


    ¡­¡­. Really couldn¡¯t fool him at all.


    Zhang Man saw that he wanted to drive her away, and instantly got anxious and stood up to stop him: ¡°Li Wei ¡­¡­ Don¡¯t be angry and please don¡¯t drive me away! I admit that I just wrote randomly. I admit that I just scribbled it down a while ago. I completely didn¡¯t understand what the teacher said and was worried that you would think I am not good at it if I didn¡¯t write any words. So, I just wrote it all in scribbles.¡±


    She lowered her head and carefully pulled his sleeve, her voice was low: ¡°Li Wei, I don¡¯t want to be transferred to a regular class next semester, only you can help me ¡­¡­¡±


    The tears that came out involuntarily and in large drops came out as she spoke, the emotions that she had just tried to suppress were being mobilized at this moment and the various heartaches and worries about him were manifesting themselves at this point, rather like the grievances and distress of being misunderstood.


    Her tears hit the floor and quickly dripped into a small puddle of water stains. It was so obvious on the light-colored wooden floor. The young man stared at the water stain and suddenly his heart clenched.


    He squeezed his palm.


    He had seen many people cry, sobbing quietly, tearfully, hysterically¡­¡­ There are always all sorts of things that are not as they should be in the world. But those cries never made him stop and stay, because for him, weeping was just the helpless vulnerability of incompetent people in the face of overwhelming difficulties.


    But now that she was red-eyed and pulling at his shirt, crying in front of him, he suddenly felt it, a strange sourness somewhere in his heart as she sobbed.


    ¨CDid he speak too harshly? Maybe he shouldn¡¯t judge her with the demands he made on himself or try to guess what she was thinking with too much confidence.


    He tried to lower his voice as much as possible, took some tissues from the table and handed them to her, saying uncomfortably, ¡°Don¡¯t cry ¡­¡­ If you still want to learn, let¡¯s continue.¡±


    The young girl in front of him slowly stopped crying at his words, wiped her face clean, sat down and took out her book and exercise set again and spread it between them.


    Her eyes were fresh from crying and still wet, and her mouth was puckered as if she was still a little aggrieved. She sniffed her nose and poked at a topic on the exercise book with her pencil: ¡°Here.¡±


    The white fingers holding the pen made a stark contrast to the black ink on the exercise booklet.


    Li Wei suddenly felt a little itchy in his heart and he hurriedly shifted his gaze, not daring to look at the young girl¡¯s flushed cheeks.

 CH 9

    ¡°¡­¡­ Acceleration is how fast or slow the velocity changes, but there is no necessary connection between it and the velocity. That is to say, if the acceleration is high, the speed is not necessarily high and vice versa. Think about a car driving down the highway, is it going very fast? However, since it¡¯s a uniform velocity, the velocity didn¡¯t change during the entire process, so the acceleration is zero.¡±


    Li Wei began to explain in detail, Zhang Man learned a little smarter this time, not all saying that she didn¡¯t understand, but made herself appear from not knowing at all to knowing a little bit.


    In the middle, she herself even took the initiative to do a few questions right, getting a slightly approving nod from Li Wei.


    It seemed to be saying, there is still salvation, she is not too stupid.


    More than an hour passed quickly, Li Wei was still not used to talking so much at once, and his already slightly hoarse voice became even more dry.


    Zhang Man felt sorry for him, so she suggested having lunch first and then continue in the afternoon.


    She self-consciously went to the refrigerator to take out the food, went to the kitchen microwave to warm up a bit, and poured two cups of water into the study.


    They sat opposite each other and ate quietly, Li Wei¡¯s eyes hanging down, not knowing what to think.


    Zhang Man swallowed a mouthful of rice and asked carefully, ¡°Li Wei, aren¡¯t you ¡­¡­ your mother coming back today?¡±


    The young man didn¡¯t look any different to her question and answered very naturally, ¡°She¡¯s gone, she flew early this morning.¡±


    She had never heard him explain it carefully in her previous life, but now, she couldn¡¯t help but want to know more about him.


    ¡°And does she usually live here?¡±


    The young man didn¡¯t seem to resist talking to her about these trivial matters and swallowed a mouthful of rice slowly and smoothly, ¡°She immigrated to Canada when I was young, and a few days ago, she heard that I was injured, so she came back to take care of me for two days.¡±


    Zhang Man looked at his expression and saw nothing out of place, so she continued to ask, ¡°Li Wei, your mother¡¯s name is Lin Hui? That¡¯s a lovely name, what kind of person is ¡­¡­ she then?¡±


    The young man¡¯s eyes curled in an unprecedented way at the question, seemingly in pleasure.


    ¡°Yes, her Chinese name is Lin Hui, and her English name is Janet. Janet is the most gentle mother in the world, and even though we live far away from each other, she always encourages me and supports me when I¡¯m in trouble, and helps me get through it.¡±


    Janet, that was the name that had always made a deep impression on her.


    Zhang Man put down her chopsticks and looked into his eyes, her voice serious, ¡°Well, I also think that she must be the most beautiful and gentle mother in this world.¡±


    After lunch, he continued to teach about the subject. Zhang Man was afraid that his throat would hurt if he talked too much, and tried her best to do every lecture he gave to pick a few of the same type so that he wouldn¡¯t have to repeat himself.


    Thus, Li Wei discovered that Zhang Man was a very smart person who was a quick learner, and once she understood the basic concepts, she could easily solve the problem without him having to spend much time explaining it.


    In the end, his expression softened a lot and he even took the initiative to ask her to come early tomorrow.


    Before Zhang Man left, he asked him, ¡°Li Wei, your mother has gone back to Canada, is she not coming back for a while?¡±


    The young man nodded and walked her out.


    ¡°Then ¡­¡­ then why don¡¯t I come over tomorrow morning and cook for you.¡±


    Only then did the young man look up at her, his eyes seemed a little surprised, ¡°You can cook?¡±


    Zhang Man nodded and added, ¡°We can have breakfast and lunch together, which will save more time for self-study. By the way, can I still stay at your house to study after the make-up class tomorrow? I¡¯ll never bother you, and we can both study at school again for tomorrow.¡±


    She calculated plainly, like she was thinking entirely of the cost and convenience of their time.


    The young man considered for a moment and nodded his head to agree.


    Zhang Man was a little happy, leaning against the door and asking, ¡°What do you want to eat then? My cooking skills are not bad.¡±


    Li Wei didn¡¯t have a strong obsession with food: ¡°You can do whatever you want, I¡¯m going in if there¡¯s nothing else.¡±


    Saying that, he nodded to her and gently closed the door.


    ¡­¡­


    It was not yet time for dinner when she got home, Zhang Man turned on the electric fan in the living room and stood in front of it, enjoying the breeze.The summer heat in N city was stifling, and she was sweating on her way back from the station.


    Zhang Huifang wasn¡¯t at home, she should be out partying with friends. She had so many friends that Zhang Man didn¡¯t even recognize them all.


    She only remembered that Zhang Huifang vaguely said that the reason she met Zheng Zhi in her previous life was because she attended a party hosted by a friend. She vaguely remembered that the time they got together was around January next year.


    She pinched her eyebrows and told herself that things had to be taken slowly one thing at a time.


    As soon as she returned to her room, Chen Feier called over.


    ¡°When I called you this morning, your mother said you went out to play.¡±


    Zhang Man explained, ¡°No, I went to Li Wei¡¯s house, he helped me tutor in Physics. I¡¯ll have to go every weekend from now on, but I¡¯m free in the evenings, if you want to look for me you can in the evenings.¡±


    Chen Feier was silent for a long time when she heard Li Wei¡¯s name, and said in a low voice, ¡°Man Man, did you see that school posting last night?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, see.¡± Zhang Man relaxed her body, lying across her entire body on the bed. The spot at her temple felt a little dizzy, probably from the summer heat outside.


    ¡°¡­¡­ How are you so calm, I¡¯m so scared reading it. Do you think that Li Wei was really almost hanged by his father when he was little?¡± Chen Feier was curious, this kind of thing was simply appalling in their small city.


    Zhang Man took a deep breath and sounded as calm as possible, ¡°Mm.¡±


    ¡°My God ¡­¡­¡±, Chen Feier sucked in a breath of cold air, ¡°Mental illness runs in families, doesn¡¯t it? Many people under that post replied that Li Wei is also schizophrenic like his father, so isn¡¯t it possible that he might do such horrible things afterwards? Man Man, you should ¡­¡­ stay away from him, even if he is handsome, life safety is more important.¡±


    ¡°Feier, I¡¯ve checked it all, there¡¯s a high chance that this disease can be cured, as long as the patient actively cooperates with the treatment plus the careful guidance of the family.¡± Zhang Man sat up and tried to sound light and cheerful in order to appease Chen Feier, ¡°And Li Wei¡¯s symptoms are not the same as his father¡¯s, it¡¯s highly unlikely that he will actively harm others.¡±


    ¡°But aren¡¯t you afraid of the unexpected ¡­¡­ Man Man, what exactly do you like about him? I¡¯ve never seen you so obsessed with anything since we were kids.¡±


    Zhang Man knew that Chen Feier was worried about her, and she felt sad and a little warm.


    She said earnestly, ¡°Feier, you also said that I am not interested in anything. But Li Wei is different ¡­¡­ Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t let myself get hurt.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­ Forget it, I¡¯m beaten by you. No wonder people always say that the people who usually seem to be the most indifferent to the world are the most ruthless when it comes to arguments.¡± Chen Feier saw how determined Zhang Man was, and knew that no one could persuade her once she had set her mind on something, ¡°Maybe you¡¯re right, it¡¯s not like this illness can¡¯t be cured, not to mention that I think he¡¯s pretty normal right now, except for being a bit gloomy.¡±


    ¡°But Man Man, you are really inexorable.¡±


    Zhang Man shook her head and laughed when Chen Feier said that.


    This was also something that Chen Feier had said to her in her previous life.


    In her previous life, when she celebrated her 34th birthday, Chen Feier accompanied her to go shopping.


    At that time, Chen Feier was pregnant with her second child, and she was still single. The two of them went shopping for baby products together, and Chen Feier teased her: ¡°Man Man, you said you haven¡¯t had a boyfriend for so many years, it can¡¯t be that you still like the boy in your class in high school, right? It¡¯s the one who is said to have schizophrenia, and later even guaranteed to go to B University. What¡¯s his name, it seems like he¡¯s now a professor at some prestigious foreign university, Li ¡­¡­¡±


    When she heard this, she directly stopped in front of the store. It was like a secret that had been hidden for years and that she hadn¡¯t even bothered to deliberately remember and suddenly saw the light of day. She didn¡¯t say anything, but her face had changed, her breathing disordered. Chen Feier¡¯s joke had poked at her hidden thoughts.


    Chen Feier saw her face; her voice faded, and after a long while exaggeratedly said, ¡°My God ¡­¡­ No, I won¡¯t be right, will I? How long has that been going on, over a decade? Man Man, you are really inexorable.¡±


    Yeah, a lot of people have said that she¡¯s really inexorable.


    Just like in the previous life, she only loved one person for all time.


    ¡­¡­


    They talked for a long while before hanging up reluctantly, and Zhang Man lay back on the bed, burying herself in the blanket.


    Li Wei¡¯s father was a very famous businessman in N City at that time, and his business was doing very well. But since Li Wei was born, he started to become abnormal, and later became even more delirious to the point where he couldn¡¯t recognize anyone else anymore.


    After that incident, he was sober for a while.


    The worst thing about a madman is not that he is mad all the time, but that while he is mad, he suddenly becomes sober.


    He clearly remembered everything he had done to his son, so he collapsed. At that time, like Li Wei in later years, he could not accept the fact that he had no control over himself, and was even more terrified that he would only cause more harm to his son by living, so he decided to commit suicide.


    At that time, Li Wei was still lying in the intensive care unit, a young boy who was still clueless that he had lost a loved one after that day.


    Zhang Man buried herself in the blanket. She remembered the two takeaway boxes she had seen in the trash during the day, and couldn¡¯t control herself any longer, crying out in suppressed tears.


    He himself called and ordered takeaway and poured the food inside into the porcelain plate at home, but he didn¡¯t remember anything about it. In his consciousness, those meals were made for him by his mother.


    But his mother, Lin Hui, died in childbirth when she gave birth to him that day.

 CH 10

    ¨CLi Wei¡¯s mother, Lin Hui, died after giving birth to him.


    So the mother he always mentioned, the one who immigrated to Canada when he was very young and who would come back to be with him whenever he encountered some difficulties, was in fact all his own imagination.


    Janet, the mom in his head, had a beautiful English name¡­¡­


    Li Wei¡¯s Schizophrenia was severe, not only auditory hallucinations , there was also a deeper level of visual hallucinations that came with it.


    In the previous life, after Li Wei committed suicide, his psychiatrist, Michael, was interviewed on a psychological health show where Li Wei is the main topic of discussion.


    Michael said that it wasn¡¯t until Li Wei was an adult that he realized that he most likely had delusions and the worst kind of delusions that were accompanied by hallucinations.


    This realization was terrifying and no one could handle it, especially for someone with as much self-control as he had.


    And at one point, he was unable to accept the fact that his mother had died years earlier, much less his own terrible Schizophrenia.


    He began to lose his ability to distinguish between reality and delusion, and his entire being became extremely sensitive and neurotic. From that time on, he doubted that all the reality around him was false, and even doubted the reality of the fundamental Theoretical Physics he was working on, and whether scientific truths really exist.


    The worldview guided the methodology, a materialistic worldview that he believed in for almost twenty years began to show cracks after experiencing the detailed visual and auditory hallucinations.


    This collapse in his beliefs was a storm that was overwhelming for him, who was already alone in the world and it was enough to destroy all his knowledge and persistence.


    How horrible for him to have lost the only belief he had in life, when he already had no regard for anything in the world¡­


    So, in his second year, Li Wei suffered several outbreaks of severe depression and began his first psychological treatment and struggle with the disease.


    After that, he took a semester off from school and suspended all of his coursework and research work.


    No one knows where he went during that semester¡¯s gap, so far. No one knows how he got through that time, how he told himself over and over again that the world was real and that he was the only one with a problem.


    But when he came back, he found a way to escape and suppress his mental illness and continued his education with renewed difficulty.


    The good news is that there is another side to his mental illness, which is his insight and perception of the world that surpasses that of others a hundred times over.


    His research was going well.


    In his third year, Li Wei made a very important breakthrough in the field of pairwise entanglement entropy with his amazing scientific talent, and published a PRL article , which had an amazing number of citations in just a few months and was a sensation in the whole Theoretical Physics community.


    The article was named the most important progress in the field in the last decade, and many people could not believe that the first author of the article was a junior undergraduate student.


    He was later accepted as a full-award PhD at Stanford, received his PhD within three years, and was even hired as a full professor at Princeton University after only one year of post-doctoral work after graduation.


    Behind the glamour and sensation, for him, there was darkness with no hope in sight. He could not get out, could not escape, it was like stepping onto a wooden bridge over the abyss, and the slightest mistake would be the end for him.


    Michael said, due to busy research work, Li Wei did not have the mind to quietly think about his own life, he subconsciously and involuntarily suppressed his own mental illness, and controlled it with drugs.


    The medication had very limited effect on his mental illness, and even more so on his memory and judgment. The drug dosage increased day by day but his mental illness became more and more serious.


    At the age of 35, he finally made a breakthrough in the subject he had been working on for years, winning the Nobel Prize in Physics that year.


    After failing in his attempts to confront the problem, he, like his father, chose to end his life.


    The day before the award ceremony, he slit his wrists in the bathroom at home, Zhang Man has seen a coded picture on Weibo, with a large bright red background, which had caused her to fall into a nightmare every night.


    Nobody knew whether it was despair or relief at that time.


    ¨CLi Wei once said that he had a feeling that one day, the darkness would completely engulf him.


    ¨CThe earth is like a vast universe, and not every planet is fortunate enough to complete all its evolution and collapse in peace. There are some people who are born unfortunate. They toss and turn all their lives, stumbling and trying their best to live in this world, only to be pushed to a dead end by fate again and again.


    Even he could not escape from it.


    ¡­¡­


    In September, the climate was unpredictable, the sun was still blazing in the daytime yesterday, but today it¡¯s a storm with lightning and thunder, raining heavily without mercy on the green wall crawlers on the window sills.


    For several days it has been stifling hot and humid, the air became saturated with moisture, and the temperature plummeted with the arrival of the storm.


    Outside the window, the night was pitch-black, and there was no moonlight on such a stormy day. Many of the pedestrians outside were caught off guard and ran around in a mess, trying to find a shelter from the rain. In this kind of heavy rain, everyone had to give in and stop for a while.


    Except time.


    There was no stopping time, it was the most relentless, repetitiously moving forward and leaving them behind, with no end in sight.


    The screen window in the room was open halfway and the slightly cold wind poured in, bringing in a cold vapor. Zhang Man raised her hand over her eyes, her tears running down the corners of her eyes, wetting the pillow at the bottom.


    She knew she was never a brave and smart person but she was a little bit more stubborn compared to the others.


    She could pull him out of his own world someday and if one year didn¡¯t work, then five, and if it wasn¡¯t enough, then a decade.


    ¨CThe good news was that there were still almost twenty years left.


    At present, however, Li Wei was completely unaware of the fact that he was delusional and in his consciousness, his mother would come back every time he needed her.


    The trigger for this time would have been the apology letter that needed a parent¡¯s signature.


    The fact that he was schizophrenic could be found in many details.


    For example, the signature on the apology letter, Zhang Man had carefully compared it, and that handwriting was actually a more showy version of Li Wei¡¯s own handwriting.


    Also, his kitchen was spotless, with no traces of cooking, not to mention the two takeaway boxes thrown in the trash.


    But often, people with this mental illness would unconsciously ignore some irrational parts, even a person as logical and meticulous as Li Wei.


    Therefore, it was extremely difficult and extremely dangerous to let him discover this on his own, and it could easily cause a huge blow to his mental state, just like in his previous life.


    Zhang Man thought about all the possibilities and passed out in a trance, her temples aching with rising pain. This night, amidst the never-ending roar of thunder, she began to have recurring nightmares again, with half of the background of the dream being a blinding bright red and half of it being filled with creepy darkness.


    Just like in her previous life.


    ¡­¡­


    After the overnight rainstorm, the sultry weather was a little fresher, a few sparrows stopped chirping at the window sill, making loud noises.


    When she woke up, she felt something wrong. The sunlight from outside shone through the window and she could feel the unbearable heat even with her eyes closed.


    She had a headache and her throat hurt as if there were a thousand knives hidden inside.


    She was too weak to move, let alone get up.


    It should have been the result of yesterday¡¯s hot weather outside. When she returned after using the fan for so long it started to rain outside and she forgot to close the window, so she caught a cold. Lost in a daze, she called out and Zhang Huifang came in from outside, reaching out to touch her forehead.


    ¡°Zhang Man, what¡¯s wrong with you, your forehead is so hot? I came back yesterday and noticed that you fell asleep without closing the window.¡± Zhang Huifang¡¯s hand felt hot as she patted Zhang Man¡¯s flushed cheeks, her tone somewhat anxious.


    Zhang Man opened her mouth to explain but her throat was so hoarse that she couldn¡¯t make any sound.


    Zhang Huifang flipped out a thermometer from the medicine cabinet on the bedside table and put it under her armpit for her, and when she picked it up a few minutes later, it was 39.8 degrees.


    ¡°The fever is too high, Man Man, How much longer can you hold on? Come on, I¡¯ll take you to the hospital.¡± She reached her hands under Zhang Man¡¯s arms and hugged her whole body out of the bed, helping her to get dressed.


    Zhang Man was startled, her thoughts unclear from the fever.


    Man Man.


    It seemed like she hadn¡¯t heard Zhang Huifang call her that for a very, very long time.


    She vaguely remembered that when she was small, Zhang Huifang would hug her, dress her up and take her out, and call her so affectionately when she is introduced to her friends. But then she grew silent and the relationship between mother and daughter became cold.


    The distracting thoughts didn¡¯t last long, and she feverishly passed out.


    ¡­¡­


    Zhang Man was woken up by a cry, and she opened her eyes to find that she was in the infusion area of the hospital. There were a dozen or so single beds throughout the large room, a few were empty but most of them had people with drips hanging from them.


    The one crying was a child across the room who was getting an injection, turning his head in fear to avoid looking at the needle in the nurse¡¯s hand, wailing loudly with his mouth open.


    The smell of disinfectant in the air was strong, choking her a little so she rolled over and coughed, her head still a little dizzy.


    Zhang Huifang was dozing next to her, woken up by the movement of her turning over and raised her head, her voice surprised, ¡°Zhang Man, you¡¯ re awake? Want some water?¡±


    Zhang Man nodded and sat up in a befuddled state throughout. She lifted her hand and found that her left hand was also on a drip.


    Zhang Huifang went to the ward¡¯s water dispenser to get a glass of water, helped her sit up, and fed her a small half cup.


    ¡°Do you want something to eat? I bought fried noodles and wonton soup.¡± Zhang Huifang used a tissue to press the corner of Zhang Man¡¯s mouth.


    Something to eat?


    Oh no!


    Her groggy brain snapped awake and Zhang Man remembered that she had promised Li Wei yesterday that she would go early today to cook for him. She hurriedly got up from the bed and put on her shoes and wanted to go out, but was pulled by Zhang Huifang.


    ¡°What are you doing? Didn¡¯t you check what time it is? You¡¯re burning so badly, why are you messing around? Just behave yourself, your drip isn¡¯t even over yet.¡±


    Zhang Man was stunned, the fluorescent lights overhead bobbed in her eyes, and it was only then that she realized that it was now night, and she had passed out for a whole day¡­¡­


    Her heart pumped and her entire nerves began to tense.


    She wondered if Li Wei would remain at home and wait for her with a hungry stomach, he shouldn¡¯t be, right? He wouldn¡¯t be so stupid, right?

 CH 11

    She wondered if Li Wei would remain at home and wait for her with a hungry stomach, he shouldn¡¯t be, right? He wouldn¡¯t be so stupid, right?


    But when she thought of his mental state, she couldn¡¯t relax at all.


    Zhang Man frowned at the needle stuck in her left hand and said anxiously, ¡°Mom, I really have something to do, I agreed with my classmate to go to his house today for extra lessons.¡±


    Zhang Huifang stared at her disapprovingly, ¡°Go back and lie down! What can¡¯t we talk about tomorrow? It¡¯s already 11:30 in the evening, and that classmate of yours should have gone to bed long ago.¡±


    It¡¯s already so late? She thought it was only seven or eight o¡¯clock at night.


    Zhang Man took a glance at the dark night outside the window and slumped back to the bedside to sit down. She flipped open her cell phone, but reluctantly remembered that she hadn¡¯t saved Li Wei¡¯s home phone number.


    Zhang Huifang took a look at the back of her hand and sucked in a breath: ¡°I let you fool around, now you¡¯re bleeding again. I gave you a day off for tomorrow¡¯s daytime class. You were so sick this time that your fever didn¡¯t go down completely. The doc recommends staying another day.¡±


    She said, hanging the I.V. bottle a little higher.


    The back of her hand was a little swollen, but Zhang Man didn¡¯t have the heart to care, and only shook her head, ¡°No, I have to go to class tomorrow, I¡¯m already much better.¡±


    She was afraid that Zhang Huifang wouldn¡¯t let her, so she added, ¡°I¡¯m afraid I won¡¯t be able to catch up if I take the day off right after school starts, and the next physics and math classes will be difficult.¡±


    Zhang Huifang thought about it and thought she was quite reasonable, so she nodded, ¡°Then go home after you finish this bottle and we will come back tomorrow night.¡± .


    ¡­¡­.


    That night, Zhang Man thought about Li Wei and had a hard time sleeping, and kept tossing and turning until dawn.


    The next day, with two black circles under her eyes, she arrived at school early.


    The rain of the last two days had completely disappeared, and the air was hot and humid again, the whole classroom was like a closed steamer, and it was stifling.


    Before it was time for the morning class, the students came one after another, and sat down to discuss what had happened over the weekend. Zhang Man heard them discussing Li Wei, talking about ¡°sticky post¡± and ¡°horrible¡± and so on.


    She didn¡¯t care, but stared restlessly at the classroom door, waiting nervously for Li Wei to come.


    Zhang Man¡¯s mood at the moment was apprehensive and anxious. It was clear that the relationship between the two finally made some progress on Saturday, but yesterday she stood him up for the day.


    At 6:55 a.m., the teenager stepped on the bell of the morning class and arrived at the classroom. Some students around saw him come in, and the whispers came to an abrupt halt.


    Zhang Man¡¯s eyes lit up and immediately stood up to let him in, carefully observing his appearance.


    ¡°Li Wei, you¡¯ve come?¡±


    Who knows that the teenager didn¡¯t even look at her, sat down expressionlessly and took out the textbook on his own, spreading it out. There was no trace of any emotion in those dark eyes.


    There was no blame, no questioning, and no anger, as if he had completely forgotten that she had stood him up yesterday when she said she would cook for him.


    When Zhang Man saw his reaction, she bit her lower lip and gripped the edge of the wooden chair with both hands, not knowing what to say.


    Her heart hit rock bottom, and she felt so bad.


    He must have been disappointed in her.


    Or rather, he had no hope for anyone, and she was now one of the many people he had listed as irrelevant.


    His lack of concern meant that their relationship had gone straight to the freezing point.


    For a long time, she lowered her head and carefully tugged on his sleeve: ¡°¡­¡­ Li Wei, I was sick yesterday, so I didn¡¯t make it, you ¡­¡­ don¡¯t be angry.¡±


    The young man made his way to the window, avoiding her touch, and nodded without speaking, as if he didn¡¯t want to know why she hadn¡¯t come.


    He has always preferred cleanliness, but in order to avoid her he rubbed the sleeves of his school uniform against the white wall next to him.


    When Zhang Man¡¯s hands were empty, her heart felt even worse, and she blamed herself for her own indiscretion.


    Yesterday, would he have been home alone for a long time waiting for her? ¡­¡­ And then, when she didn¡¯t come, did he get restless? She promised to cook for him, did he stay up late and not eat?


    Or did he imagine his mother coming back to cook for him again?


    At this time, the young man spoke in a hoarse voice: ¡°I can understand all of this, you don¡¯t have to come in the future. Keep the book of exercises I gave you, there are many summaries I wrote on it, it¡¯s still somewhat useful.¡±


    He spoke very softly, without any rise or fall in his tone. He didn¡¯t even look at her during the whole process, and after that, simply read a book on his own.


    Zhang Man listened to him, a little confused about what he meant by that.


    He said that he fully understood what was going on.


    Her mind suddenly reflected on the other students who had just been exchanging words and looked at Li Wei in a bad light, she was shocked, and her confused and jumbled thoughts were straightened out.


    It turned out that he had misunderstood her ¡­¡­ misunderstood that she, like everyone else, had heard those rumors and would not dare to approach him again in deference to him.


    He thought her saying she was sick was an excuse to just go along with it in order to stay away from him.


    How much unfair treatment does one have to suffer to develop such a response?


    He is used to it, used to people¡¯s alienation and loneliness.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was pumping, and she cursed herself a few times in her heart. She wished that time could go back to yesterday morning. If she knew he would be so misunderstood, she would have gone to tell him even if the fever grew worse.


    She anxiously approached him and simply extended her left hand directly in front of him: ¡°It¡¯s not like that, Li Wei, you see, I didn¡¯t lie to you, I was really sick yesterday, and the needle¡¯s mark is still on my hand.¡±


    The young man was quiet for a moment at the words, then lowered his eyes and looked at the white hand of the girl in front of him.


    Her hands were small and slender, and her nails were cleanly clipped. The skin on the back of the hand was so white that it was almost transparent, so much so that the veins on it were obvious, like a winding, twisting, green vine.


    On one of the veins, a purplish-red needle mark was scabbed over, with a ring of bruises next to it, which looked alarming.


    She sounded anxious, aggrieved and desperate. It seemed that if he didn¡¯t believe her, she was going to keep arguing until he did.


    It was as if his belief was so important to her.


    Li Wei suddenly remembered the tears she shed at his house that day.


    It¡¯s really strange. Usually she is such a quiet and calm person, but sometimes she gets so frustrated.


    He silently pushed the girl¡¯s hand away, still didn¡¯t say anything, but a certain emotion that had been going on since yesterday morning until now and was about to come out in a manic state, seemed to have suddenly calmed down at this moment.


    ¨CIt was like a violent thunderstorm that eventually failed to produce a downpour.


    The young man turned his head and looked out the window. He raised his hand and pressed the place where his heart was beating, and the strange feeling of soreness and tension faded away.


    Zhang Man couldn¡¯t see any change in his expression, saw him pushing himself away, thought he still didn¡¯t believe, and became even more anxious, with a little cry in her voice, ¡°You still don¡¯t believe me? Li Wei, I don¡¯t have any ¡­¡­ for you.¡±


    Her words were interrupted.


    ¡ª ¡°Next Saturday you¡¯ll have three extra hours to catch up on yesterday¡¯s class.¡±


    Zhang Man was stunned and only reacted after a while, busily smiling and saying yes as her heavy heart from last night to now instantly relaxed a lot.


    It¡¯s good that he is still willing to believe me.


    He was willing to trust me¡­.


    But Zhang Man¡¯s good mood did not last long.


    When she went to the cafeteria at the end of the hallway to get water for Li Wei, she ran into Dai Xi and another girl, Zhou Xiaoqi, who was the representative of the English class.


    Zhou Xiaoqi had been the representative of the English class in her class two days ago, and also came to talk to Li Wei.


    Zhou Xiaoqi was behind her in the line, and when she saw her holding a cup for Li Wei, she asked curiously, ¡°Zhang Man, I think you and Li Wei are quite good friends. Do you two know each other before?¡±


    Zhang Man turned on the faucet, took half a glass of cold water first, and shook her head: ¡°I don¡¯t know him. I was his seatmate when he got hurt in the accident, so I just did what I could.¡±


    Zhou Xiaoqi nodded her head, but Dai Xi just snapped, obviously not believing it, and shook the cup in her hand: ¡°I understand your point of view, it¡¯s because Li Wei is so handsome and intelligent, right? If it wasn¡¯t because of his ¡­¡­, I might have pursued him too. By the way, didn¡¯t you see our school¡¯s posting? You don¡¯t know, Li Wei has too much stuff on him, I heard that he is also ¡­¡±


    Zhang Man took another half cup of water and rudely interrupted her: ¡°I¡¯m done, I¡¯m going in first.¡±


    After saying that she didn¡¯t wait for them, she immediately turned around and left.


    She knew that everyone¡¯s attitude towards Li Wei would make a drastic change, but she still felt uncomfortable when she heard it firsthand.


    Better to be out of sight than out of mind.


    When she got back to class, she put the cup in the corner of the teenager¡¯s desk and sat down quietly beside him.


    She felt bad about their behavior, but she couldn¡¯t say anything. She couldn¡¯t grab everyone and tell them that Li Wei wasn¡¯t scary and wouldn¡¯t hurt them, could she?


    People have a strange fear of things they don¡¯t understand, not to mention the already dreaded ¡°schizophrenia¡±.


    This is true for adults, not to mention for children aged 16-17.


    On this day, the attitudes of the students really changed dramatically from before, the students on duty subconsciously avoided Li Wei¡¯s seat, and even the group leaders didn¡¯t take the initiative to collect his assignments from various subjects.


    They naturally isolated him from the class, and although there was no direct verbal or physical abuse, such cold violence is often more devastating than anything else.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was sore from watching it, but Li Wei didn¡¯t care at all, he still read and wrote on his own, and occasionally looked at the lawn outside the window when he was tired, quietly, just like before.


    Because it was expected, he did not get disappointed.

 CH 12

    After Physics class in the afternoon, there were two PE classes per week. Zhang Man had to go to the hospital for an IV infusion at night, so she was excused from the afternoon classes except for the PE class.


    Boys and girls stood on either side of the volleyball court in the middle of the field, with a large volleyball net between them.


    Zhang Man felt a little dizzy when she arrived at the field, and she stretched out her hand to touch her forehead, which seemed to be still hot. She went to the PE department and asked for the PE teacher, intending to explain the situation and not participate in today¡¯s class.


    Who knew that she would be out of luck, and by the time she got there, five or six girls had already excused themselves from class, all because of headaches, fever, stomach aches, and the like.


    The P.E. teacher, who was black-faced the entire time, didn¡¯t even listen to her when it was her turn, reprimanded her for her inappropriate attitude and lack of enthusiasm and directly refused to give her a leave of absence, sternly telling her to stand in line.


    It was after 3:00 pm and the heat from the sun was still strong. The hot weather of September seems capable of really burning someone.


    Zhang Man stood on the field, only to feel the sweat pouring out of her forehead. The cement floor was scorching hot, and the heat was spreading through the thin soles of her canvas shoes. The sun¡¯s rays were beating down on her naked head and face, and she began to get hot all over, as if she was about to melt away in the sun.


    She was already running a fever, and she hadn¡¯t slept all night since yesterday from worrying, and after standing for a few minutes, her legs started shaking and the feeling of weakness struck her once again.


    Zhang Man gritted her teeth and tried to tell the teacher that she really couldn¡¯t hold on any longer, but as soon as she stepped forward, she fell to the ground in a daze.


    ¡°Ah!¡± The girls around her shrieked, and the PE teacher hurried over to see her flushed and sweating face, knowing that she was really sick.


    She waved her hand towards the other side of the volleyball net: ¡°Hey boy, take this girl to the infirmary!¡±


    Before she could finish her sentence, she noticed that a boy had come running from afar, very tall, unbelievably handsome and exquisite, and sturdy-looking.


    ¨CHowever, he was wearing a plaster cast on his hand and had a bandage on it.


    The PE teacher instantly felt compelled to laugh and cry: ¡°This student, your hand is injured ah!¡±


    Li Wei was startled, stopped in his tracks, took a look at his left hand hanging on the bandage, and pursed his lips.


    The girl was sitting on the floor being helped by several surrounding girls, her palm-sized white face was flushed with an abnormal red, and her thick, flat bangs were wet with sweat, with a lock of them stuck to her forehead.


    Her lips were cracked and slightly parted, and she was clearly extremely uncomfortable as she breathed in small gulps and locked her eyebrows.


    The nerves at the corners of his forehead began to throb violently again, and his anxiety continued to spread.


    How could something go wrong at such a time?


    At this time, several other boys heard the teacher¡¯s call and also came over, among them was the Sports Committee member, Liu Chang.


    The young man took a look at Liu Chang, who was tall and strong, and had no problem carrying Zhang Man to the infirmary. He kept his head down for a moment, intending to turn around and leave.


    ¨CBut he was stopped when he was about to turn around.


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t notice anyone else at that moment. She couldn¡¯t believe it as she watched Li Wei trot over to her in a hurry, and her heart was already more surprised than anything else.


    When she saw that he seemed to be leaving, she immediately struggled to her feet and reached for his right arm for leverage, allowing herself to lean halfway against him, ¡°Teacher, I can do it, just let him help me through.¡±


    The young man¡¯s chest was caught off guard by the warmth of the girl¡¯s body, and before his brain could react, he quickly reached out with his right hand, securing her waist so that she could lean on him more securely.


    No one noticed as he lowered his head, the corners of his mouth gradually curved up, and his beautiful eyelashes batted twice.


    It looked like the wings of a cicada on a summer night.


    The weeping willows along the twin city streams are at their peak of the year with their rich dark green color, but there is no wind and every branch hangs quietly towards the water.


    Because it was class time, the entire campus was so quiet that only a few chirps of mockingbirds remained. The stifling heat from the air made the summer day appear almost stagnant.


    The young man grabbed her by the waist and lifted her upward with the force of his right hand, so that she could lean all over him with little effort. He matched her steps, walking very slowly.


    The sun was so hot that he put his right arm around her and instinctively tried to reach out his left hand to shield her from the sun.


    A long while later, he pursed his lips and whispered a reminder: ¡°¡­¡­ You raise your own hand to shade the sun, don¡¯t get heatstroke again.¡±


    Zhang Man nodded obediently and lifted her left hand to place her fingers together in front of her forehead. The sun was too high, and she was worried that he might also get heatstroke, so she extended her right hand again, reaching up and trying to block the top of his head.


    Unfortunately, she was so short that a few fingers almost poked the young man in the eye.


    ¡°Don¡¯t cover me, it¡¯s blocking the view.¡±


    ¡°¡­Oh, okay.¡±


    Zhang Man accosted and withdrew her hand, looked up at his taut jawline, and asked softly, ¡°Li Wei, were you running over because you just saw me fall?¡±


    When he came running, the PE teacher hadn¡¯t called anyone yet.


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    The young man¡¯s voice was a little tense, and his speech was faster than usual, and noticeably a little stiff and hoarse: ¡°Why don¡¯t you take the day off if you¡¯re sick?¡±


    Zhang Man felt a little itchy on her face, so she borrowed the fabric of his school uniform and rubbed her cheeks, listening to his question, and answered naturally: ¡°You know, I¡¯m so bad at Physics, I¡¯m afraid I won¡¯t be able to keep up if I skip school again.¡±


    She also asked cautiously, ¡°Hey, Li Wei, did you get hungry yesterday?¡±


    The young man pursed his lips and nodded his head for a long, honest moment.


    Knowing she was coming early, he got up very early. She said she was coming to cook for him, so he waited at home all day, he waited for her and starved all day.


    It had been a long time since he had waited for someone like this, from early morning until nightfall, and time seemed to stand still.


    Yesterday, in the evening, he sat in his study, staring, unable to read anything, as if he was mad and restless, and began to think of meaningless things in his mind uncontrollably.


    The young man pursed his lips and nodded his head for a long, honest moment.


    Knowing she was coming early, he got up very early. She said she was coming to cook for him, so he waited at home all day, he waited for her and starved all day.


    It had been a long time since he had waited for someone like this, from early morning until nightfall, and time seemed to stand still.


    Last night, he sat in his study, dazed and unable to read anything, restless, as if he were crazy, and began to think of meaningless things uncontrollably in his mind.


    ¨CLike those who fawned over him and then fled far away in the past, she probably didn¡¯t want to come back after all.


    When he thought that she was like that, his heart felt like it was being dragged down by a dark and hostile force, causing him to feel more annoyed and irritable than ever before.


    Fortunately, she didn¡¯t.


    Zhang Man got the answer and felt a pain in her heart, she reached out and grabbed his sleeve, shaking it lightly, ¡°Li Wei, I will definitely, definitely make you something delicious next week. I was wrong yesterday.¡±


    ¡°You should worry about yourself first.¡± The young man¡¯s voice was firm; he didn¡¯t look at her either. Zhang Man was not sure if he agreed.


    After walking across the small arch bridge, they reached the infirmary.


    This is the second time in just two weeks that two people have come to this room, and the gray-haired doctor still remembers them.


    He pushed up his presbyopic glasses and laughed and teased, ¡°You two little classmates are too bored of me being alone and came to talk to me over injuries and illnesses, right?¡±


    Zhang Man laughed and sat down leaning on Li Wei¡¯s shoulder. In fact, when she went indoors, the sunlight was not so strong, and she was not as uncomfortable as before. It¡¯s just that she was greedy for his fresh soapy smell and warm body temperature and didn¡¯t want to leave.


    The doctor looked at the two of them with a twinkle in his eye, coughed, and took out a thermometer to take her temperature.


    After a few minutes, the doctor looked at the thermometer and said, ¡°A slight fever, did you take any medicine before?¡±


    Zhang Man answered honestly, ¡°Well, I had a very high fever yesterday, so I spent a day in the hospital, got an IV drip, and took medicine.¡±


    The doctor asked again, ¡°Do you know what kind of medicine you took yesterday?¡±


    Zhang Man shook her head. It was already the middle of the night when she woke up yesterday, and she was so anxious that she didn¡¯t pay attention.


    The doctor pondered for a while and gave his advice: ¡°Your fever is not serious now, but it has not gone down yet. I¡¯m worried that the medication I¡¯m prescribing may conflict with the medication you used before. In that case, it would be prudent for you to take a leave of absence and go back to that hospital to continue the infusion.¡±


    ¡°OK, I¡¯ll call my mom later.¡±


    ¡­¡­


    Zhang Huifang came very quickly, saw a student holding Zhang Man and looked at him for a few moments before thanking him, and immediately directed her anger at her daughter.


    She picked her up with a sneer and prodded her on the forehead, her voice even more sarcastic: ¡°You told me you wanted to come to school no matter what, but when I thought about it later I felt that something was wrong, when did you become such a good student? Was it to explain to that classmate of yours? What¡¯s wrong with waiting for a day or two, if you¡¯re sick, can they still blame you? You should be burned to death with fever for making me worried.¡±


    She just explained to Li Wei that she didn¡¯t take a leave of absence because she didn¡¯t want to skip class ¡ª isn¡¯t this an immediate slap in the face?


    She looked up at Li Wei with some embarrassment, but found that the young man¡¯s expression had not changed at all, and his eyes were drooping, not knowing what he was thinking of.


    Zhang Man breathed a sigh of relief, he probably wasn¡¯t even listening.


    ¡­¡­


    Zhang Huifang drove to pick her up and took her to the same hospital yesterday.


    On the way, Zhang Huifang showed great interest in Li Wei: ¡°Man Man, who is that boy who just helped you? He looks a bit like that star in his youth, you know, the one who acted in a very famous movie ¡­¡­¡±


    Zhang Man listened to her chattering with an excited voice and felt a bit helpless in her heart. Zhang Huifang is one of those people who can¡¯t walk away when they see a beautiful and attractive person, she was like this when she was young, and she hasn¡¯t changed until now.


    So later on, Zheng Zineng was able to cheat her heart away so easily, after all, that scum has a pretty decent looks.


    In the meantime, she weakly complained: ¡°I¡¯m still sick.¡±


    Zhang Huifang closed her mouth and lifted up her long hair: ¡°Yes, but Zhang Man, don¡¯t miss out on such a good looking guy, with my life experience, this looks is considered superb.¡±


    It took Zhang Man almost a week to recover from her cold.


    This Saturday, she got up at seven o¡¯clock and carried her bag to a nearby market.


    The market was very crowded in the morning, and this year¡¯s N City did not have a unified plan for each stall as it did later, so the vendors just scattered their stalls around, some even on the side of the road.


    Zhang Man thought about what to cook, and picked up a bag of Chinese fried glutten balls, a bag of ground meat, a bag of mushrooms and onions, and two eggplants.


    After leaving the market, she saw a fruit stand at the intersection, squatted down and bought a few mangoes.


    More than half an hour later, she arrived at Li Wei¡¯s house with her things. After ringing the doorbell for a while, he came to open the door.


    The air conditioner was on in Li¡¯s house, and the temperature was so low that Zhang Man shivered as soon as she walked in the door.


    She was wearing a sleeveless dress with strapless shoulders and was a bit chilly from the cold air.


    The young man¡¯s hair was a bit messy, and it looked like he had just gotten up to open the door for her when he heard the doorbell. He was dressed in gray, long-sleeved house clothes, and because his left hand was still in a cast, the sleeve on that side was cut open, and looked slightly funny.


    He saw her shivering from the cold and frowned: ¡°You¡¯re wearing so little even though you¡¯re sick?¡±


    Zhang Man retorted, ¡°I¡¯m fine already.¡±


    The young man looked at her with cold eyes, and turned back to the bedroom without speaking, coming out shortly with a set of clothes in hand.


    It was the same style and size as the one he was wearing, but in a different color.


    He handed her the clothes and pants, ¡°Put them on.¡±


    He said, and went to the living room to turn up the temperature of the central air conditioner.


    Zhang Man obediently dressed up, but the clothes were too big for her, so when she put them on it reached her thighs. The long sleeves wrapped her arms completely, and the soft cotton fabric was very warm in the air-conditioned room.


    Also, it had the same fresh, soapy smell that he had.


    She looked at the pants on her hands with embarrassment, ¡°Do I have to wear the pants, too?¡±


    The young man¡¯s gaze went down and stopped for a moment on her bare legs, nodding.


    ¡°Then ¡­¡­ you turn around.¡±

 CH 13

    ¡°Then ¡­¡­ you turn around.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s cheeks were a little hot, she was wearing a skirt, and if she had to put on pants, she would definitely be naked.


    Only then did the young man react and turned his back.


    When he turned around, she quickly put on her pants and found that they were so big that she couldn¡¯t walk. She folded the legs of her pants three or four times, and folded the sleeves three or four times as well, before she could move freely.


    It looked more like she was going to plant rice in the field.


    Zhang Man looked at herself and then at Li Wei, they were now wearing the exact same clothes, but his was gray and black and hers was navy blue, very much like a couple.


    She carried the ingredients in, greeted him, and went into the kitchen to get busy.


    After stuffing all the meat into the dough, she found the young man leaning against the door watching her movements, his eyes seemingly puzzled.


    Zhang Man laughed and raised the fried gluten balls in her hand: ¡°This is a dish that everyone in H City likes to eat, stuffed fried gluten balls. You¡¯ll know how good it is when you try it later.¡±


    The young man nodded, still leaning against the door.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to watch me here, I¡¯ll call you when the meal is ready, you go and do your usual thing.¡± Zhang Man lifted the back of her hand and rubbed her forehead.


    ¡°¡­¡­ Mm.¡±


    The young man looked at her for a while longer, before turning to go to the study.


    The water in the pot boiled, Zhang Man added some seasonings first before putting it in, one by one, and breathed a sigh of relief.


    It has only been less than a month, but Li Wei¡¯s attitude towards her has softened a little bit and he even gave her his clothes to wear today.


    Though, it was still far from being liked.


    This is something Zhang Man knows very well, this cold and paranoid young man, once he likes her, there will be light in his eyes that can¡¯t be stopped.


    However, her heart is full of hope, in order to help him heal, he has to trust her completely first, and right now it is still not enough.


    It¡¯s not enough.


    ¡­


    Zhang Man made two dishes in total, eggplant with ground meat and Stuffed Chinese Fried Gluten Balls. These two dishes were learned in her previous life after she went to H City, and they are in line with the taste of people in the south of the country.


    Li Wei didn¡¯t even have rice at home, so she could only cook some noodles.


    She was very quick, and the whole process took only half an hour, and the hot dishes and noodles were put on the table.


    After finishing the meal, she cut up two mangoes and placed them on a plate with a few toothpicks stuck on top.


    Zhang Man put the food on the dining table and went to the study. Li Wei was reading a book, so absorbed that he didn¡¯t even notice her coming in.


    Zhang Man put her hands on the desk and bent down to look at him across the room. The young man¡¯s appearance when he was absorbed in his study was very much like that of an ancient scholar who was oblivious to what was going on outside the window and was absorbed in reading the scriptures.


    From a certain point of view, sometimes, Zhang Man also envied him. How many people live a long life, but never find the direction and meaning of their lives, and spend their time idly. But he had found his talent and mission from a very early age, even though there was a vast darkness behind it.


    Zhang Man waited patiently for him to finish the last equation before speaking out.


    ¡°Li Wei, let¡¯s eat. It¡¯s not too late to read it after you eat.¡±


    The young man looked up at her, nodded, and raised his hand to rub his temples. He looked a little tired, but there was a little excitement and joy in his eyes. It looked like he was making some progress in his studies.


    They walked back to the table.


    The mahogany dining table was spotlessly clean, with an unused vintage candlestick in one corner of the table and no candles on it. On the table were two randomly arranged, but temptingly colored dishes, the aroma of which could be smelled even before one got close.


    The young man saw the dishes on the table were quite sumptuous, and his eyes were a little startled.


    In fact, most of the time the dining table was unused, and he often ate directly in the study by himself, taking a few bites of his meal, sometimes even reading a book while he ate.


    But for today she is here, he wasn¡¯t alone this time.


    The young man pursed his lips, sat down, and picked up the chopsticks in front of him.


    Zhang Man was suddenly a little bit expectant and nervous.


    To tell the truth, she is very confident in her own cooking, but Li Wei¡¯s taste she really is not sure, in case he does not like to eat, then that¡¯s a problem¡­


    ¡°Here!¡± Zhang Man put the gluten dish into his bowl, put down her chopsticks, and looked at him expectantly with both hands on her cheeks.


    The young man nodded, picked up the food and took a bite. He was a good eater. Each bite was not small, but it gave the impression that he was chewing slowly while not making the slightest sound.


    Zhang Man carefully observed his appearance and saw that he was fine, not frowning at all.


    She sat down with confidence and ate with him.


    Since Li Wei only had one hand to use, it was not convenient for him, so Zhang Man gave him a dish with another pair of disposable chopsticks while he ate.


    As it turned out, these two dishes should have been to his liking, because at the end of the day, the only remaining eggplant strips on the plate had been wiped away by him, not to mention the gluten balls, and there was none left.


    Zhang Man looked at the empty bowls, her mouth slightly open, she was going to eat all the leftovers and save them for the noodle dish for lunch.


    Gathering the two empty bowls together, she took a paper napkin from the table and tore it in half, wiping her mouth on one half and naturally handing the other half to him.


    The moment she handed it out, she finally realized something¡¯s wrong and hastily said, ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m too used to eating with Chen Feier.¡± However, when she was hesitating to take it back, the young man reached out his right hand and took half of the torn tissue and wiped the corner of his mouth in a very natural way.


    Due to the fact that the 3 hours from last time had to be made up today, it became 3 hours in the morning and 3 hours in the afternoon.


    Li Wei arranged the time so that Zhang Man could do the exercises in the morning and he would teach them all in the afternoon.


    Zhang Man learned from last week¡¯s lesson, and picked some difficult topics to write randomly and did the basics right. Li Wei was still sitting beside her, looking at his own book. Zhang Man noticed that he was still reading the same Quantum Mechanics book from before, but the pages had been turned back a lot.


    Soon, the morning passed in a quiet atmosphere between the two of them, during which Zhang Man did her homework while helping Li Wei change the draft paper and ink, taking care of his inconveniences and feeling very self-conscious.


    ¡­¡­


    At noon, after the two of them hastily ate some fried noodles, they began the lecture, and Li Wei flipped through Zhang Man¡¯s densely-written book of exercises, looked at it for a few minutes, and nodded his head in satisfaction.


    ¡°There is progress, but you are still not familiar with the slightly more complex comprehensive questions. This one, for example, is not just about kinematics, but also about mechanics. Remember, there are only a few formulas and variables in the mechanics and kinematics equations at this stage, so as long as you understand the known conditions of the subject and the unknown numbers it wants you to find, and find the functional relationship between them, you¡¯ll be fine. If you want to solve a couple of unknown variables, you¡¯ll need the same number of sets of linear independent equations¡­¡±


    Li Wei saw the young girl frowning, and realized that he had gone overboard: ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I just made a rather advanced remark. I think it¡¯s roughly what you understood as, several equations, several unknowns. For example, this question, you can¡¯t solve it in the end because you have four unknown variables, but you only listed three equations.¡±


    ¡°And then there¡¯s this question¡­¡±


    Zhang Man was a little shocked as she listened and nodded her head obediently.


    Although he had never been a teacher, he was very clear in his lectures, and he was able to grasp the key points of each type of questions. Even though she was already skilled in some things, she got some new ideas from him, so it wasn¡¯t boring at all.


    In fact, as long as she was with him, no matter what she did, she felt that time flew by quickly.


    Finally finishing all the exercises, Li Wei took the responsibility to summarize all the contents of mechanics and kinematics for her, and even helped her to study what the teacher had not yet taught.


    By the time it was over, it was already past five o¡¯clock in the evening.


    Zhang Man stretched her back, walked to the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out of it. Li Wei¡¯s house was not far from the west coast, and the floor was high, so from the window you could see an azure sea.


    It was sunset, and the border between the sea level and the sky was covered with a patch of red haze, stacked one on top of the other, in varying shades.


    She turned back and looked at Li Wei, who was still reading.


    He was really different from her; he seemed to have endless energy. In retrospect, Zhang Man hardly ever saw him doing anything other than eating and sleeping, or reading Physics.


    Perhaps it was his personality that drove him to do so, or even his interest for that matter.


    He finished Calculus, Linear Algebra, and Probability Theory in junior high school. With these numerical abilities, he began studying Electromagnetism, Hamiltonian Mechanics, and then Advanced Quantum Mechanics and General Relativity on his own.


    One by one, he worked his way up the ladder of knowledge and tried to enrich his knowledge base.


    The old adage that ¡®a genius is a combination of 1% inspiration and 99% hard work¡¯ proved to be true, and Zhang Man deeply felt that even if he had a sharp mind, he would only be a drop in the bucket if he didn¡¯t study so furiously.


    ¡°Li Wei, I will be here for a total of six hours a week to make up for my classes, will I disturb your study?¡±


    The young man¡¯s right hand held the book for a moment, then gently closed the page and stood up, walking to her side.


    Not far from the window, the blue sea embraced the setting sun, repeating the ebb and flow of the tide that should be present at this time of day.


    It was about 5:00 or 6:00 p.m., and a dark sandy beach that had been soaked in seawater all day was showing through, forming a clear line of division with the dry, light-colored sand above.


    Instead of answering her question directly, he said, ¡°The gravitational field of the sun and moon causes the tides to rise and fall on Earth, and so do we. I¡¯m not always able to think quietly 24 hours a day, either¡­¡±


    ¡°Like the low tide, when you¡¯re here, there¡¯s plenty for me to do.¡±


    His voice was always clear and slightly hoarse. In his eyes were the blue sea, the warm red sun, and the endless sky, filled with stars.


    His life was tragic and miserable, but he had a determination and broad mind that few young people of his age have.


    She looked at the young man¡¯s serious eyes and slowly broke into tears: ¡°Li Wei, you must believe in yourself, you will become a great person in the future.¡± ¡ª She was so proud of him that she burst into tears.


    This ¡ª this kind of him made her so proud that her eyes started tearing up.


    As the young man listened to her words, he felt like laughing for some reason. She was so sure of what she was saying, as if she had seen it happen already.


    He suddenly wanted to open his heart to the girl who had gotten the entire Physics paper almost half wrong.


    ¡°I never wanted to be famous nor great. Zhang Man, in fact, there are still too many unknowns in the development of our science up to now. What I want is the ability to think in the darkness, to close my eyes and explore the unknown one by one on the way.¡±


    Zhang Man was startled by the fleeting smile that flashed across his face. When talking about what he loved the most, he became an incredibly pure person with no pain, no suffering and no loneliness of any kind.


    Smiling was the most uncommon expression on Li Wei¡¯s face. Unfortunately, he didn¡¯t know how beautiful his eyes were when he smiled.


    Her heart was pounding until she got home that day, and she couldn¡¯t stop it.


    She decided that for the rest of her life, she would try her best to guard that smile with all her might.

 CH 14

    In late September, the midday sun has become a little more partial than it was in July and August, and it is no longer waving the heat around so boldly, and the months of stifling heat have finally dissipated a bit in these two days.


    When October rolls around, it will be almost autumn, and in a little while it will be time for the Inter-school National Day Joint Performances that N City High School holds every year.


    In addition to the school¡¯s clubs and student councils, each freshman and sophomore class is required to submit two entries, and then the auditions will be held afterwards. If the program makes it to the Inter-school Top Ten, the school will award a pennant to the class or club where the program is located.


    Since the class was an experimental class, grades were the most important thing, and the class teacher didn¡¯t pay much attention to this kind of honor, so up to now the class didn¡¯t even have a full complement of programs.


    In her previous life, Zhang Man remembered that her class had only one program, which was a dance program for a few girls, and the final selection process ended with no results.


    After having a meal, she and Chen Feier walked around the school yard.


    As the largest high school in N City, the First Middle School covers a vast area. The school has two fields, one with a 400-meter circle track and a huge artificial green lawn in the middle with a wide soccer field. The other was a cinder track with volleyball and basketball courts in the center, where they normally had PE classes.


    And the soccer field was very close to the cafeteria.


    Chen Feier was walking back and forth on a hollow concrete pillar placed horizontally beside the track, swinging her arms up and down to maintain her balance and playing happily.


    Zhang Man was a little worried about her wobbly form and stood at the bottom to protect her.


    After walking back and forth for a while, Chen Feier suddenly remembered: ¡°Man Man, I heard that your class didn¡¯t have enough students for the National Day Performance, why didn¡¯t you sign up? I¡¯m sure you sing so beautifully and play the guitar well too.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s guitar skills and singing were learned from Zhang Huifang.


    When she was young, Zhang Huifang was a lead singer in a band and sometimes a musician as well, and she was proficient in all popular instruments. When Zhang Man was young, Zhang Huifang taught her how to play guitar at home, teaching her everything from folk to rock, depending on her mood each day.


    She was very casual in teaching and learning but the results were not bad, perhaps because of her natural musicality.


    Now that Chen Feier suddenly mentioned it, Zhang Man couldn¡¯t help but feel some sadness: ¡°Me? It¡¯s better to forget about it, I haven¡¯t touched it in years.¡±


    She¡¯s thinking about the past life.


    After Zhang Huifang and Zheng Zineng got married in her previous life, she transferred to H City. A lot has happened since then, and the trials and tribulations of life have made life very difficult for both mother and daughter. Zhang Huifang no longer sang and played the piano and she as the daughter never touched the guitar again, even more so after she started working.


    After all these years, her skills in playing the guitar had become rusty.


    Chen Feier looked at her strangely and said, ¡°How long has it been, just over a month? You played the guitar for me on my birthday this summer, remember? Man Man, that English song you played was so beautiful and you sing so well, I even felt it could be compared to a professional singer.¡±


    Zhang Man was stunned, a little startled by her words. This year, she was still at the age where she used to play the guitar and sing.


    Luckily, Chen Feier didn¡¯t take her seriously and said with a wink and a smile: ¡°Moreover, Man Man, aren¡¯t you gonna chase after Li Wei? I¡¯m telling you, guys like girls who are versatile and mysterious. Think about it, he usually knows you as a simple, quiet person who doesn¡¯t talk much. Then one day, he suddenly realizes that this girl can sing so well, he¡¯ll notice you more or less, right?¡±


    Zhang Man was a little skeptical after hearing it and asked, ¡°Is that ¡­¡­true?¡±


    Chen Feier leaned from one end of the cement pillar to the other, nodded her head ruthlessly, and patted her chest: ¡°With my many years of experience reading romance novels, this move is dead on.¡±


    She nodded her head so much that she couldn¡¯t keep her balance and almost fell down, but Zhang Man was watching her and quickly gave her a hand.


    After a short walk, Zhang Man went to the cafeteria to buy a lunch box for Li Wei and took it back to the classroom. When she returned to her seat, Li Wei was reading a paper printed out in English, and she took a glance at it.


    As he read it, he made notes on the side of some formulas and figures, and his fountain pen writing on the snowy white A4 paper made a ¡°rustling¡± sound.


    Zhang Man put the lunch box on his table.


    ¡°Li Wei ¡­¡­ what do you think about girls playing a musical instrument?¡±


    She remembered what Chen Feier had just said, and asked the question spontaneously.


    Li Wei just finished pushing a formula and put down his pen, leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and pressed his temples and said, ¡°Well, Janet is a pianist. When I was little and couldn¡¯t sleep, she would carry me to the piano room and play the piano for me.¡±


    Although he looked a little tired, he still had a warm tone in his voice when he mentioned his mother.


    When she heard that, Zhang Man caught her breath.


    ¡°Then ¡­¡­ what happened later?¡±


    The young man¡¯s appearance was somewhat in a trance, as if he was remembering memories. Zhang Man¡¯s heart tightened, worried that he had discovered some fault in his memory that would trigger a negative effect on him.


    He thought carefully, his voice was calm and natural: ¡°Later ¡­¡­ I forgot, she emigrated when I was very young.¡±


    She was relieved to hear him reply, but at the same time she was somewhat shocked. His paranoia, indeed, was so severe that it bordered on a logical self-control.


    The visual hallucinations plus the auditory hallucinations construct a fantasy world that is eerily real and highly realistic. He is completely convinced that the fantasy in his mind is reality, so even if someone told him that his mother is already dead, he probably wouldn¡¯t believe a word of it.


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t dare to ask any more questions, so she changed the subject: ¡°What about the guitar? Do you like guitar?¡±


    The young man nodded gently, ¡°Sometimes I can¡¯t make sense out of a book, so I listen to some country music, or slow rock.¡±


    So after the evening study session, Zhang Man went to see the Literature Committee member, Dai Xi, and signed up. She was one of the dancers herself, and was a little puzzled when she saw how late Zhang Man had come to register and said, ¡°There are still ten days left before the performance.¡±


    She was interested in making things difficult for Zhang Man, so she added, ¡°Look, instead of signing up for it, you come with me to the Literature Department tomorrow after class and play a song for us to listen to. If you pass the test, we will talk again or else we will lose the reputation of our class.¡±


    Usually, it takes more than three days to arrange for the application and the selection, but she asked Zhang Man to attend the selection the next day, which was indeed difficult for her.


    Zhang Man frowned and thought about the possibility of practicing in one day. She had a song in mind, which was fine for singing and mainly focused on playing guitar.


    It shouldn¡¯t be hard to pick it up. Zhang Man nodded, filled out the application form and planned to leave.


    Right after she turned around, Dai Xi called out to her.


    ¡°By the way ¡­¡­ Zhang Man, do you like Li Wei?¡± In her voice, there was a bit of hidden happiness that poked fun at her, and her voice rose, ¡°Too bad, he seems to have a girlfriend already.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s usually very rude, but the last time I heard him call that girl from a payphone booth at school, his voice was extremely gentle. Can¡¯t you see that he¡¯s still cold towards you?¡±


    Zhang Man looked back at her with a blank expression and said, ¡°It is none of your business what I do.¡±


    She managed to get back to her seat quickly but suddenly lost all her strength when she sat down. A lot of things in her past life were brought forward because of her rebirth.


    For example, there was this rumor.


    It was something she never wanted to remember, and it was the very reason why she was separated from Li Wei in her previous life.


    ¡­¡­


    It was the first semester of her sophomore year of high school in her previous life, about a month or two before Zhang Man transferred to another school.


    Normally, they shared the same table at school and she would go to his house every weekend to make up classes, so they spent almost every day together.


    At that time, their relationship was much better than it is now, at least that¡¯s what Zhang Man thought. Although they didn¡¯t say so explicitly, the young man always walked her home every night after the make-up classes were over, escorting her through one streetlight after another.


    Occasionally, when she came to school, she would bring him some appetizing soy milk and breakfast, which he would eat one bite at a time without wasting any of it. At that time, he would look at her with a soft and warm light in his eyes.


    It¡¯s the kind of closeness and affection that they don¡¯t have yet.


    Zhang Man at the age of seventeen is simply foolish, she knows in her heart that she has fallen in love with a young man, but she is afraid to go deeper.


    Perhaps, he was the same as well.


    Probably because he was worried that he might scare her, he never mentioned his family in front of her. As for her, she never asked about his father¡¯s suicide either, as she had heard about it from some rumors and was worried about the possibility of hurting him.


    Young love is always like that, eager to touch yet fearful at the same time, both sides deliberately keeping their distance beyond a certain limit.


    The distance brought by this blurry and innocent affection led to various misunderstandings later on, eventually leading to an end of their relationship.


    At that time, Zhang Man experienced her first love, and every day when she saw Li Wei beside her, her heart felt warm as if she was eating honey.


    But one day, she heard from someone that Li Wei actually had another girlfriend.


    They told her at that time that Li Wei always called that girl, and that he showed a kind of tenderness to her that she had never seen before.


    They also said that Li Wei¡¯s girlfriend¡¯s name was Janet.


    When she heard these words, Zhang Man thought it was just one of Li Wei¡¯s many untrustworthy rumors, so she didn¡¯t bother to pay attention to it at all and told herself that she had to learn to trust him.


    She told herself in her heart that she should learn to trust him. However, this trust was completely broken shortly afterwards.


    In November, it was already early autumn in N City, and the weather was getting colder. During that time, Li Wei had just returned from the national finals of the Physics competition in Z City and she remembers that she bought him a small gift and prayed for him.


    That evening, she and Chen Feier went to the field after dinner to walk and chat, and walked along the synthetic track.


    The afterglow of the setting sun and the dark red synthetic track almost merged into one, and after walking around a certain corner, Zhang Man saw Li Wei making a phone call in a public phone booth next to the field.


    The young man was dressed in his school uniform, and his figure was stretched out in the setting sun, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and he was holding a telephone in his well-defined hands, with a thrilling smile on his lips.


    Zhang Man was overjoyed at the chance encounter, and quietly approached him from behind, wanting to surprise him by tapping his shoulder when he hung up the phone but heard his voice as he made the call.


    The young man said in a soft voice, ¡°Janet, is it very cold in Canada right now? You have to wear a lot of clothes, be sure to wear a hat and scarf when you go out, and a mask as well¡­ Mm, I just got back from the finals so feel free to come by anytime during this time ¡­¡­¡±


    He was droning on about some trivial things in life, and his voice was so gentle and low that it could clearly reach her ears with the autumn breeze, like someone scratching her ear socket with a soft feather.


    Zhang Man was standing behind him, very close to him, and yet she was listening to him use such a gentle voice to call another girl.


    The first thing that came to her mind was that there really was such a girl named Janet, but in the next second, with hindsight, she felt an extremely sour feeling in her chest spreading, as if she had been stuffed with a peeled lemon inside.


    ¡ªso excruciating.

 CH 15

    Zhang Man was standing right behind him, very close to him while listening to his gentle voice, calling another girl.


    ¡ªZhang Man¡¯s heart ached.


    She kept trying to convince herself that maybe that girl was just Li Wei¡¯s relative, or some familiar friend despite the fact that she had never heard him mention it.


    She waited patiently for him to hang up the phone, barely smiling, suppressing the sourness in her heart that was about to explode, and asked him as if unintentionally: ¡°Li Wei, were you on the phone just now? Uh ¡­¡­ you have other friends, Janet ¡­ who is she?¡±


    She couldn¡¯t even look at him when asking the question and kept her head down, the tip of her shoe scraping unconsciously against the ground and her hands were sweaty with nervousness.


    The young man answered without hesitation: ¡°Janet is my mom, I was just on the phone with her.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s sour heart relaxed when she heard the answer¡­it was his mother.


    She smiled at him and nodded, her eyes curving.


    See, how could he be so gentle with another girl? She must be the special one for him.


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t pay attention at that time, but Chen Feier, who was standing on the side, changed her color instantly after hearing the young man¡¯s answer.


    Later, Chen Feier hurriedly dragged her away and told her very seriously that Li Wei was lying to her.


    ¡°Man Man ¡­¡­ he was just lying, I heard that his mother died in childbirth when she was giving birth to him. He must have a girlfriend there, Man Man, you don¡¯t like him, do you?¡±


    Being young and silly in love, the first reaction is always to deny it.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t like him.¡±


    Although she denied her feelings for him, Zhang Man still chose to believe the young man she secretly liked: ¡°Feier, you must have misremembered or misheard something, there is no need for him to lie about such things.¡±


    Back then, her head was set against the reddish sunset and the side of her face was tinted with a pale pink hue as she smiled firmly and brightly. She felt that she was brave and sensible enough not to be overwhelmed by jealousy and still know the difference between right and wrong to trust him.


    Unfortunately, a lie can never be true even if the person who lied doesn¡¯t realize that he or she is lying.


    When Chen Feier saw her disbelief, she got anxious and took Zhang Man to find some of Li Wei¡¯s childhood neighbors, who also attended the First Middle School at that time.


    ¡°We¡¯ve never met Li Wei¡¯s mother but I heard from my mother that she died when he was born.¡±


    ¡°His father became more and more abnormal back then, just after his mother passed away due to a difficult childbirth.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, otherwise if his mom was there, he wouldn¡¯t have to go to the orphanage.¡±


    After hearing all this, Zhang Man only knew that Li Wei had really lied to her.


    She who was so confident in him before, was feeling so bad now that she made herself out to be a joke, she thought she was wise and brave for guarding her heart¡¯s small thoughts.


    Heh, turns out everything was her own imagination.


    A person like him, who can easily solve even the most difficult Physics problems and complex logic puzzles, told a lie that can be easily debunked.


    It seems that he really doesn¡¯t care about her at all.


    First love is the most painful memory of every young girl¡¯s heart.  After soaking their hearts into the sour plum soup, it is picked up and ruthlessly wrung out.


    Who does he think he is? How could he tease her like that? What about the tenderness in his eyes when he was walking with her down the street and the embrace he gave her under the streetlight that day? Was it all for nothing?


    For the first time, the 17-year-old Zhang Man truly felt what it meant to have a heartache, and her heart felt like it was being stabbed one by one at that time.


    It turned out that his lie can be the sharpest knife in the world.


    That day, Zhang Man did not even go to the next class and went home immediately and cried all night.


    She realized that she had fallen out of love. Or rather, the relationship, which began with her, also ended with her.


    All those tacit understanding and unspoken feelings she thought she had with him were just her own self-interest. Perhaps, the Li Wei she knew was not the real him.


    ¨CPerhaps the real him didn¡¯t take her seriously at all.


    The next day, Zhang Man, who had calmed down a bit, chose to confront Li Wei face to face.


    She was grasping the last shred of hope and possibility for herself and tried to appear calm when she said, ¡°Li Wei, you don¡¯t have to lie to me anymore, just tell me who that girl is, as long as you tell me who she really is, I can understand.¡±


    The young man¡¯s eyes were confused for a moment: ¡°¡­which girl?¡±


    The more he played the fool, the worse she felt. It was as if her heart had been crushed over a fine stone and was not bleeding too badly, but was grinding against her heart so much that it broke through the skin, and every breath she took carried an unbearable pain.


    ¡°Janet, the one you spoke on the phone last time.¡±


    The young man actually smiled back then, with tenderness in his eyes that she truly couldn¡¯t bear.


    The teenager she secretly liked, the one she thought who also liked her, lied without changing his face or his heart.


    ¡°¡ªJanet is my mom.¡±


    Zhang Man closed her eyes, she could clearly hear a deep valley cracking open in her heart and felt herself shivering as she stood on a glacier despite being in N City in November.


    On that day, she made an application to her homeroom teacher for a new seat.


    After she returned from the teacher¡¯s office, Zhang Man started to pack up her books and all her things without saying a word and prepared to move to an empty seat on the other side of the classroom.


    The young man was reading a book at the time, but when he saw what she did, he put down his book and turned around to stare at her.


    When she was leaving with a pile of textbooks, the young man grabbed her sleeve.


    There was a drizzle on that day in the early autumn, and the rain drifted in through the window sill, bringing a slight chill.


    He clutched her sleeve with his clean, strong fingers, and looked at her so steadily with his eyes slightly red.


    ¡°Are you ¡­¡­ going to switch seats? ¡­¡­ Why?¡±


    Zhang Man hardened her heart and tried to pull his hand away: ¡°No reason.¡±


    However, the young man was obstinate and held her firmly in his grip, never letting go.


    His lips were uncharacteristically dry, and the blood under his eyes was rapidly creeping over his entire eyeball. He pulled her tightly, his Adam¡¯s apple rolling up and down and tried to open his mouth with great difficulty.


    ¡ªHis next words seemed to be ¡®don¡¯t go¡¯.


    The more he behaved like this, the more she felt that he was beyond redemption. She felt that if she stayed with him for one more second, she would collapse.


    So Zhang Man didn¡¯t let him say anything and one by one, she broke his fingers and smiled faintly.


    ¡°Li Wei, you truly make me feel sick.¡±


    ¡­¡­.


    Just like that day in her previous life, a soft drizzle began to drift outside the window and the air was slightly cool.


    Zhang Man buried her head in the crook of her arm, her eyes a little moist from the memories.


    Perhaps the sensitive and paranoid young man didn¡¯t know what she was leaving him for until the very end of his life in the previous life.


    How could she know at that time that he was just sick and that he had never lied to her?


    If she had gotten to know him better, would she have realized that he was actually just sick?


    If she had tried to understand him after that, would she have been able to accompany him to the end. Then, he wouldn¡¯t choose suicide, even in the end?


    But how can we get to the right answer if our initial assumptions are wrong? Such things cannot be thought about at all, or else one will be trapped in a dead cycle as a result.


    In her previous life, after Li Wei¡¯s death, these series of hypotheses made it difficult for Zhang Man to sleep all night long. ¡­¡­


    When the young man saw the girl, who was just in good spirits, lying exhausted on the table, he thought she was sick again, and his pretty eyebrows furrowed lightly.


    He raised his hand to close the window and couldn¡¯t help but call out to her, ¡°Are you sick? Don¡¯t sleep on your stomach, it¡¯s easy to catch a cold.¡±


    Zhang Man raised her head, yawned slowly, and blinked her eyes covertly, ¡°No, I¡¯m just very sleepy,¡± she added. ¡°See, I¡¯m in tears.¡±


    ¡°The next class is Physics, listen well, the test should be this weekend.¡±


    Zhang Man straightened her back, looked at his serious side face, and curled her lips.


    ¡°¡­¡­ Okay.¡±

 CH 16

    At the end of the second period of the late afternoon study sessions, Zhang Man was called to the office by her homeroom teacher Liu Zhijun.


    The reason was the letter of apology that Li Wei handed in a month ago.


    When Liu Zhijun received that letter of apology signed by his parents, he didn¡¯t care about it and just threw it in a drawer to keep it safe. However, recently there were more and more rumors about Li Wei, reaching even his ears as a form teacher and when he looked up the letter again, he felt that something was wrong.


    In order to verify the rumors, he called the institution where Li Wei had been for seven years before. After checking, he confirmed that Li Wei¡¯s mother, Lin Hui, had died in childbirth when he was born. Furthermore, the orphanage staff also told him something about Li Wei.


    At first, he also thought that Li Wei just wrote her mother¡¯s name casually in order to deal with him, but when combined with the things that the people in the institution said, the more he thought about it, the more wrong it was.


    Liu Zhijun called Zhang Man here because he wanted to ask her if there was anything abnormal about Li Wei in general.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was a little wary, not knowing what he meant. After all, there was no such apology letter in her previous life, so even though the school had heard the rumor that Li Wei was suffering from schizophrenia it was never confirmed.


    She shook her head, ¡°I didn¡¯t find anything abnormal about him.¡±


    Liu Zhijun saw the wariness that appeared in her eyes, and was busy waving to her to sit down: ¡°Don¡¯t misunderstand. Only I know about this matter at present, and I won¡¯t tell anyone else about it either. I didn¡¯t ask Li Wei face to face, because I was worried that if he really had any psychological problems, it would cause him harm. Zhang Man, you are his seatmate and teacher can see that you usually take good care of him. If you find any psychological problems, you must try to help him and let me know.¡±


    He added: ¡°Many mental illnesses will eventually be cured through psychological guidance and medication, not to mention the fact that as far as I know, Li Wei this child has focused on learning Physics all day long, and usually does not have negative thoughts about anyone. However, after all, there are so many students in the class, if something happens, it will be hard for us to explain to his parents. You can¡¯t blame me for treating him special and I certainly hope he can grow up healthily in the future.¡±


    Zhang Man nodded her head and left the office.


    Her heart was a bit heavy.


    If medication and treatment are to be taken, the patient must first be aware that he or she has a mental illness and accept it in order to actively cooperate with the treatment.


    Many psychiatric drugs are not only ineffective in suppressing delusions, but also cause a series of side effects, such as high blood pressure, lethargy, slow reaction time, forgetfulness, and even a certain mortality rate.


    With Li Wei¡¯s current condition, it is obviously unrealistic. Now the best way she can think of is to minimize the damage he suffered after realizing that he is suffering from a mental illness, and then slowly put him on the right track by psychological guidance.


    People suffering from paranoia are often very paranoid and have difficulty in believing what others say so they can only find out by themselves.


    Nobody knows why Li Wei suddenly found himself suffering from paranoia in his previous life. But the results were extremely serious, he suffered from severe depression after that because he couldn¡¯t accept himself as he was, and eventually went step by step towards committing suicide.


    She has yet to come up with a good way to make him aware of his paranoia without causing irreparable damage to his heart.


    Zhang Man was leaning over the railing, calming her mind.


    No one knew exactly what the cause of his paranoia was. But Zhang Man felt that for Li Wei, this illness might be the only salvation in his life for more than ten years.


    Maybe it happened when he was hanging from a clothesline when he was seven years old, or when he was ostracized and ridiculed countless times after his father¡¯s suicide, or when he was abandoned by his relatives and thrown into an orphanage.


    He wanted so much to have someone who would be there for him when he needed it, to care for him, to love him, to give him a warm hug.


    ¡­¡­


    After returning home, Zhang Man took out a guitar that she had not touched for years.


    This guitar was Zhang Huifang¡¯s favorite when she was young and when Zhang Man was in kindergarten, Zhang Huifang went to the bar every night to sing.


    A 5 or 6 year old girl who could not understand any music and was not as tall as the high stool was carried up by Huifang Zhang to sit on it for the whole night.


    She still remembers one time when she drank too many drinks and wanted to go to the bathroom, but she couldn¡¯t get down from her high stool, she waited until after Zhang Huifang finished her performance and found that her face was red and she had peed her pants.


    Later, Zhang Huifang left the bar and gave the guitar to Zhang Man.


    She would hide in her room on quiet afternoons, playing and singing to herself, singing about her youthful thoughts that she would not normally say, as well as about her 16- and 17-year-old¡¯s ignorance and confusion about the future and life.


    But after she went to H City in her previous life, she never touched it again.


    For the National Day performance, Zhang Man chose an old English song that she knew before, ¡°I will always love you¡±. The song¡¯s music and lyrics were very much to her liking, and the firm and straightforward vow of love was what she wanted to sing to him.


    The first few times she played it were awful and she forgot a few basic chords and stuttered through the song. As a result, Zhang Man stopped singing and concentrated on practicing until she had mastered the song over and over again.


    The human body, like the brain, has a memory, and although it has not been practiced for so many years and gotten rusty, picking it up again is not difficult for her.


    She played over and over again, the old wooden guitar resonating extremely well as the hardness of the wood increased over time. A piece of soulful melody spilled out from her fingertips, and she practiced until the sky was dark before she was satisfied to call it a night.


    ¡­¡­


    The next day, Zhang Man went to school with her guitar, and after the class ended at noon, she followed Dai Xi to the music classroom of the Arts and Literature Department. There were already several people in the classroom, and as soon as Zhang Man entered, she saw a student sitting next to the piano.


    He was very tall, very handsome and had sharp features. However, unlike Li Wei¡¯s ¡°Do Not Approach¡± attitude, he was a sunny type with a gentle smile on his lips, giving people an impression similar to a spring breeze.


    She knew this person, and was quite familiar with him. His name is Qin Shuai, a second year student and her senior.


    Zhang Man saw him and was startled for a moment. In her previous life, she had heard that Qin Shuai was the head of the Arts and Literature Department of the First Middle School and that he was also a good pianist.


    Qin Shuai came to the department early when he heard that there were several programs to be audited today. He was sitting at the piano, playing a song, when he saw Dai Xi bring someone in.


    The girl was petite, with very pale skin and a face that was almost half covered with thick bangs. She was carrying a large guitar in her arms that hid her thin body from view.


    She looked very quiet and entered the room without speaking, standing behind Dai Xi like a little follower.


    Qin Shuai turned around and waved to her, his voice gentle: ¡°Fellow schoolmate, I heard that you want to sign up for a performance by yourself but we have to do an audition before we can decide if you can be a part of the final show. You may start straight away.¡±


    He looked at her small face and smiled again, reassuring her, ¡°Don¡¯t be nervous, just relax and play.¡±


    Zhang Man nodded, sat down on a chair with her guitar, tuned the strings according to the standards and began to play and sing.


    She sang a few lyrics before the guitar accompaniment slowly followed suit.


    Zhang Man¡¯s voice is soft, in the mezzo-soprano range, and her vocal cords are not fully constricted when she sings but are slightly airy.


    She sang less straightforwardly and openly than the original, and her slightly husky voice was very warm, like lying on a plush carpet in the hot summer afternoon sunshine, murmuring softly in your ear in a gentle yet powerful way.


    ¡°And I will always love you


    I will always love you


    You, my darling you, hm¡±


    The afternoon sun beat down on the girl¡¯s thin figure, and the lattice-like window frame cast a flickering shadow on her cheeks.


    Her head was bowed, and she sang softly, her thin body seemingly full of strength, as if she wanted to tell someone over and over again that she would always love him.


    I will always love you, no matter where you are or what you become¡­¡­


    Standing by with her arms folded, Dai Xi had a mixed feeling.


    Her original intent was to make things difficult for her, who had just signed up for the program and then been asked to do a public performance evaluation in one night¡¯s time, which was certainly not enough for preparation.


    However, she didn¡¯t expect to be impressed by her voice.


    In all fairness, she sang professionally, emotionally, and with a completely different feel than the original and it was far more impressive than the dance they had been rehearsing for weeks now.


    At the end of the song, several people in the music classroom from the Arts and Literature Department were completely wide-eyed and remained silent for a long time. It was the head of the department, Qin Shuai who led the applause, looking at the lady in front of him with undisguised admiration.


    ¡°You sang very well! Junior, may I ask your name?¡±


    Zhang Man put her guitar back in its case, stood up and nodded politely, ¡°Hello, senior. My name is Zhang Man.¡±


    Qin Shuai closed his eyes and made a turn in his heart several times before he said, ¡°It¡¯s like this, Miss Zhang, since the National Day is tomorrow, you have already missed the registration time, so we are not in a position to put you up directly.¡±


    Zhang Man frowned and looked at Dai Xi, who had not said that yesterday. Dai Xi spread her hands at her, expressing that she also did not know.


    Qin Shuai thought for a while longer, as if he had thought of a good idea, he said, ¡°Right, our department just happens to have another program slot, which was submitted long ago, but that student gave up in the end, if you join our Arts and Literature Department, you can directly replace it with your performance.¡±


    He added, ¡°Your performance is really outstanding, and it would be a pity if it doesn¡¯t make it to the show.¡±


    When she heard that she was only going to join the Arts and Literature Department, she agreed without much consideration. The so-called student organizations and clubs in high school are actually quite overrated, and after this performance, it doesn¡¯t matter how little she has to participate in it.


    After Zhang Man left, Qin Shuai stopped Dai Xi, who was also planning to leave, and winked at her: ¡°Junior Dai, is this Zhang Man in your class? Do you have her contact information? Come, let me buy you dinner.¡±


    Dai Xi looked upset and said, ¡°I have no relationship with her. I don¡¯t know how to say this, but I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll find that she has someone else she likes already.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care, it¡¯s just a crush. As long as there is no boyfriend, it¡¯s fine.¡±

 CH 17

    When she came out of the music classroom, Zhang Man walked down the corridor connecting the two school buildings with her guitar, a cold wind blew past her so she tightened her uniform jacket, shivering a little.


    Just like last night, it was raining outside, which was neither like summer thunderstorms, nor like the spring season where the rain comes with vigor.


    It was a gloomy day.


    Meeting Senior Qin Shuai again made her heart stir a little.


    In her previous life, Qin Shuai confessed his love to her, just after she and Li Wei had parted ways.


    At that time, she switched seats, and they were very far apart, almost at opposite ends of the classroom, so she hardly spoke to him at all on weekdays. On weekends, she stopped going to his home to take extra classes, and the two of them completely had no contact with each other.


    The pain of her first love was buried deep in her heart at such a distance that she numbed it with studying or some other things. As long as she didn¡¯t think about him, the intense pain in her heart would feel better.


    After a long time, the peace and tranquility brought by the numbness made her even have an illusion of relief, and she thought she was gradually recovering.


    The quiet young man always blocked her at the door of the classroom or at the entrance of the school gate when school was over, as if he still had a lot to ask her.


    However, at that time Zhang Man could not be bothered with him anymore.


    She felt that he was simply unbelievable. Since he already had a girlfriend and didn¡¯t like her, there was no need to lie and pester her with questions so she made up her mind to never talk to him again.


    Disregarding him and ignoring any of his moves, Zhang Man treated him like air.


    This continuous indifference made the young man become more and more gloomy and paranoid and finally exploded completely one day.


    It was Friday, and she went to her teacher¡¯s office in the afternoon before school ended. Before she went home, she saw Chen Feier sending her a text message, saying that Li Wei had been standing in front of the school, apparently waiting for her.


    Zhang Man wanted to talk to him for the last time, so she packed her things and headed downstairs.


    Just then, she ran into Qin Shuai in the hallway.


    Qin Shuai was a senior one year ahead of them, so normally they would not have crossed paths, and Zhang Man can¡¯t remember where or how he met her. But on that day, Qin Shuai found her, took out two movie tickets from his pocket, and asked her if she could go to a movie with him later.


    Zhang Man wanted to refuse directly, but she had a sudden change of mind when she thought of Li Wei waiting at the gate.


    She felt that she did not have the ability to make him stop pestering her through words, so perhaps she could be more direct in her actions.


    Plus, she also had her own selfish thoughts.


    At that time, Zhang Man, who was 16 or 17 years old, had always been upset by Li Wei¡¯s lies.


    The fact that he deceived her made her have strong doubts and disappointments about herself and the world for a long time before. No matter what she did, as long as she thought of him and the relationship that ended without a trace, she found it hard to get over it.


    Therefore, it was a perfect opportunity for her to finalize the matter without much time to think about it, and she was eager to return the grievance to him.


    ¨CIt was as if by giving it back to him, she would no longer feel bad.


    So she agreed to go to the movies with Qin Shuai and walked out of the school with him.


    On Friday afternoon, there were a lot of people in front of the school, some snack vendors pushing their carts back and forth, and students gathered around the booths eating skewers and hot pancakes for a dollar each.


    There were many parents standing outside the school gates, waiting to pick up their children while rubbing their reddened hands in the cold, breathing heavily.


    However, she spotted him right away in the middle of the bustling street.


    In the cold early winter, the teenager, wearing a thin school uniform, stood under an evergreen camphor tree at the corner of the street.


    His hands were in his pockets, his back was against the tree, his cheeks were thin, and he looked rather unwell.


    He had lost a lot of weight, and his whole body was so thin that he seemed to blend in with the surrounding bleak winter days.


    The moment she saw him, Zhang Man¡¯s heart felt as if it had been scalded, and the emotions she had been suppressing for days swept over her again, making her almost unable to stand.


    The young man also saw them.


    He narrowed his eyes, slightly straightened his back and stood still, but he stared directly at them with his dark eyes, looking at them with an expression that was hard to understand.


    When he looked at her like that, Zhang Man¡¯s heart suddenly felt a little flustered for some reason, and she immediately turned to the side, not daring to look at him again.


    She squeezed her hand, her heart screaming with jealousy and frustration as it continued to spill over, and said to herself, ¡°He lied to you and he doesn¡¯t like you at all. You¡¯re doing the right thing. At least you¡¯ll get him to stop pestering you after this.¡±


    She thought to herself, standing a little closer to Qin Shuai, trying to raise her smile and talk to him with an intimate face. Qin Shuai was telling her about the movie she was going to see later, and she listened to him with a cooperative attitude, nodding her head and smiling at him from time to time, her expression so rigid that her palms were sweating with nervousness.


    ¨CShe thought to herself that lying was a really hard thing to do, and wondered why it was so easy for him to do so.


    To get to the movie theater, they would have to walk across that street, so they would definitely pass him.


    She said to herself in her heart that she would just let go of her feelings for him once and for all after passing him by this time.


    But the young man didn¡¯t let her have her wish.


    The three of them were getting closer and closer, like a slow-motion shot in a movie.


    When they passed by him while laughing and joking, the young man suddenly walked over quickly from under the tree and grabbed her wrist, looking gloomily at her, as if in the next moment his eyes would drip water.


    ¡°Zhang Man, where are you going?¡±


    The voice was as hoarse and hard as an ice ridge hanging upside down from the eaves in the waning moon.


    When she looked at his face, she felt conflicted, as if she had a thrill of revenge, but more than that, she felt an indescribable sense of panic and distress.


    The aggravation in her heart came back to haunt her again, giving her the courage to continue on.


    She tried to pretend to be very happy and tried hard to pull back her hand, with a warm smile on her face she looked at Qin Shuai next to her for comfort, then turned around and said to Li Wei in an extremely cold manner, ¡°I¡¯m going to the movies with senior.¡±


    With such a stark difference in treatment, she thought she had done well.


    The young man fell silent, but he didn¡¯t let go.


    He looked at her, and then at Qin Shuai beside her, his eyes, which were usually calm and unruffled, swirled up into a strong storm, and in just a few seconds, his eyes actually turned red.


    He took a deep breath, as if trying to calm his mood, looked directly at her, and asked softly: ¡°¡­can you not go?¡±


    His voice was so weak and the tone was so low that Zhang Man could even tell that he was pleading faintly.


    ¡ªAt that moment, he let go of all his pride, like most ordinary teenagers who wanted to keep their hard-won love.


    Zhang Man almost softened at that moment, but in the next second told herself he would lie to her again sooner or later. So she hardened her heart and scoffed, ¡°What¡¯s it to you if I¡¯m dating a senior?¡±


    When the young man heard her response, he completely lost control.


    The veins on his forehead were bulging, his teeth were clenched, and even his facial expression was somewhat distorted, as if he had briefly lost his mind. He squeezed her wrist so hard that no matter how much she struggled, he wouldn¡¯t let go and his strength was so great that Zhang Man couldn¡¯t help but cry out in pain.


    Zhang Man kept telling him to let go of her wrist, but he kept staring into her eyes and just wouldn¡¯t let go.


    The whole process took nearly a minute, and her wrist was pinched so hard that it hurt very badly.


    She was so frightened by his stare that she mumbled in a shaky voice, ¡°Let¡­me go, I¡¯m¡­ in¡­ a hurry¡­¡±.


    Qin Shuai also came over to help her and tried to break his grip on her hand.


    His paranoid look was unlike anything Zhang Man had ever seen before, like a lone wolf in the wilderness who suddenly confronts you in the thick of the night¡ªit¡¯s such a frightening sight.


    In front of the school, many people started to look at them.


    At that moment, she suddenly remembered the rumors about him, so she got scared, urged by the boundless fear and grievance; she spoke with a trembling voice: ¡°Li Wei, are you crazy? Get off of me, it hurts so much!¡±


    She cried out, her voice breaking into tears, and she was overwhelmed by his paranoia and obsession with her 16 or 17-year-old self.


    The young man¡¯s dark expression began to fall apart when he saw her tears, and the storm that had been growing in his eyes at that moment was forced to subside, turning into an indescribable pain.


    As if he had been burned, he let go of her hand and moved his eyes from her face to her wrist.


    ¡ªWhen he saw the shocking red marks on her white wrist, he staggered back a step.


    Zhang Man could never forget the look on his face at that moment.


    Regret, pain, fear, sadness ¡­his eyes became more and more red, and his fine eyebrows seemed to be unable to stretch because of the red mark on her wrist.


    A long while later, the young man clenched his fist in frustration, as if he wanted to go forward and explain himself to her, but she shrank back a few steps in fear.


    It was those few steps that blocked out all his thoughts and movements.


    The young man finally left her without saying anything and looked at her carefully for a long time, as if he wanted to remember every detail of her face by heart.


    Afterwards, he turned around and left.


    The moment he turned around, Zhang Man who was seventeen years old, heard the sound of her heart breaking. She instinctively tried to raise her hand to grab the corner of his clothes but stopped herself from moving.


    ¡­¡­


    The movie that day seemed to be a comedy, but by the end of the movie, she had tears streaming down her face.


    After that time, she and Li Wei never spoke to each other again.


    The young man slowly became his old self, even worse than before. He hid himself in a corner, no longer interacted with people, and became more and more depressed day by day.


    Later, he got a guaranteed admission to University B and didn¡¯t come to school any more.


    One day before she transferred to another school, he unexpectedly came to the school, walked up to her seat and asked her if she had seen the things he had put on her desk some time ago.


    Zhang Man thought he was asking about the Physics book he had left on her desk one day, but she never opened it and just threw it in a drawer instead.


    So she just said coldly, ¡°I saw it.¡±


    After hearing her indifferent answer, the young man stood beside her seat for a long time, until her indifference became untenable, and then bowed his head and walked away.


    This was the last conversation between the two in their previous lives.


    From then on, the young man who gently held her by the streetlight with reddened ears, the young man whose eyes sparkled like stars when he looked at her, disappeared after that cold winter.


    ¡­¡­


    Time never stops for anyone, but one day, after a long time, it will reveal some blurred truths of old memories.


    It was only after many, many years that Zhang Man realized that the original question he asked at the time was the love letter he had written to her, which was carefully placed inside his Physics book.

 CH 18

    This year¡¯s summer in N City was shorter than usual, just at the end of September, and it already smelled a bit like autumn, but in the past two days, the temperature plummeted and the stifling heat and humidity disappeared, catching people off guard.


    Zhang Man held her guitar in her hands and walked along the corridor that connected the two school buildings. At the front and back end of the corridor were huge windows, which were open at the moment, and the surging airflow found an outlet, whistling from one end to the other, creating a strong breeze in the hallway.


    She got blindsided and walked quickly back to the classroom, putting her guitar next to the table.


    By the window, the curtains were blown by the wind, and the young man, with one hand tilted to his head, was reading a book as always and his smooth jawline and long, clean knuckles were matched together in a charming way.


    Zhang Man raised her hand and poked him.


    ¡°Li Wei, I just went to the audition for the National Day Gathering and passed, I¡¯ll be singing on stage, you must come to see it.¡±


    The National Day Gathering was on October 7th in the afternoon, the last day of vacation, and it was not mandatory for everyone in the school to come. If she didn¡¯t tell him in advance, he would definitely skip it.


    The young man looked at the guitar she had placed on the edge of the table and nodded his head.


    Zhang Man asked again, ¡°Do you have a cell phone? Please give me your cell phone number.¡±


    After asking, she suddenly remembered that Li Wei had never had a cell phone in his previous life since no one wanted to contact him, and every time she called him, she always called his home landline.


    The young man hesitated for a long while, then nodded his head.


    Zhang Man is a bit confused, he doesn¡¯t have a cell phone, right? Has there been a change in this life?


    ¡°Then, please tell me your cell phone number, so we can get in touch. In case I have something to do during the holidays and I won¡¯t be coming over for make-up classes, I can also send you a text message to save you the worry.¡±


    The young man coughed and was succinct: ¡°No worries. Come on time tomorrow, I¡¯ll give you my number.¡±


    The next day is the National Day, so the seven-day holiday will start this afternoon, and for Chen Feier, who has always been disobedient to discipline, it is no different from a bird flying out of a cage, grabbing Zhang Man to go shopping after school without hurrying to release her school bag.


    The weather was bad, but it was no match for her enthusiasm for shopping.


    She has recently begun to take a fervent interest in a young male rock singer, and she never stops talking about him. When she heard that he had just released an album a while back, Chen Feier was so excited that she dragged Zhang Man to a record store in the city center.


    However, there is no doubt that this is the winter when the male singer will be exposed to the scandal of drug use and plagiarism, and thus go into hiding.


    She couldn¡¯t say it outright and only politely reminded Chen Feier a few times, but the girl didn¡¯t take it to heart and was very protective of her new idol.


    The two left the record store and went to the mall across the street to shop for clothes.


    Chen Feier was so enthusiastic that she went into almost every store to try a few items and strolled back and forth for a whole while buying things here and there, from head to toe. Zhang Man followed behind her, carrying her bags, and felt her legs were about to break.


    She admitted that she really had no desire for anything in any of these stores.


    Chen Feier was very energetic and started her usual gossipy nature after shopping: ¡°Man Man, you¡¯ve been running to Li Wei¡¯s house every day for the past few weekends and spending time alone in the same room right? Could you tell me exactly what you two are doing there?¡±


    Zhang Man was helpless and reached out and nudged her head, ¡°What do you think? Of course we¡¯re studying.¡±


    Chen Feier hates the iron for not becoming steel, ¡°No, Man Man, men are sexually active creatures, you can¡¯t hold back so much as you are ah! Here I was thinking you already kissed him.¡±


    This girl has been outspoken since she was a little girl and has never been in love herself, so she speaks freely with no shame at all.


    But after all, she is still a young girl and could not resist the urge to say more.


    Zhang Man suddenly wanted to tease her, sighing in a serious way: ¡°I also want to kiss ah but do not want people to think that I¡¯m easy.¡±


    As expected, Chen Feier blushed at her words, tilting her head backwards to wail, ¡°Oh My God, Man Man, why are you so shameless now!¡±


    Zhang Man laughed and fired back, ¡°Weren¡¯t you the one who was being shameless first?¡±


    Meanwhile, Chen Feier suddenly stopped walking and pointed to a cell phone store across the street: ¡°Hey, Man Man, look, isn¡¯t that Li Wei?¡±


    The crystal chandeliers in the mall were very bright, and at the end of the long corridor, inside a huge glass wall, the young man¡¯s side face was clearly reflected.


    He didn¡¯t carry a backpack, and he had changed into a black sweatshirt, so it looked like he had gone home before he came out. He stood in front of the counter and listened to the sales lady who introduced different models of cell phones, occasionally nodding or shaking his head.


    Zhang Man was stunned, and only then did she react, no wonder he said he could not give her his cell phone number until tomorrow, he was planning to buy it today.


    So, did that mean he also wanted to call and text her when he had nothing to do?


    Startled in her heart, she squeezed the string of shopping bags tightly in her hands, and an indescribable joy slowly spread over her chest.


    Chen Feier¡¯s focus is obviously different: ¡°Gee, honestly, Li Wei is really good looking. Man Man, look at the life-size stand-up sign placed in front of the cell phone store and compare them, I think he¡¯s even more handsome than the brand endorser.¡±


    She turned back and saw her just standing there, so she poked her, ¡°Man Man, do you want to go over and say hello?¡±


    Zhang Man shook her head, but a smile gradually crept onto her lips.


    ¨CIf he doesn¡¯t want to say it, she can pretend not to know.


    When Chen Feier was satisfied with her stroll, they walked to a nearby bus stop together with an umbrella.


    Zhang Man, who was still immersed in her chance encounter with Li Wei, came back to her senses and found Chen Feier looking at her oddly.


    She raised her hand and touched her face: ¡°Feier, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Chen Feier put away the umbrella, took the pile of shopping bags from her hand and muttered: ¡°I¡¯ve just asked you to duck in a little because your shoulders are getting wet ¡­¡­ Look at yourself, you are almost grinning from ear to ear and the whole time you are being silly, you can¡¯t even hear me talking to you. Didn¡¯t you just see Li Wei earlier, how could you be like this ah?¡±


    Chen Feier said and rolled her eyes, expressing her dissatisfaction with her.


    ¡­¡­


    The next day was the National Day, and Zhang Man and Li Wei had agreed to go to his house for extra lessons.


    When she arrived at his house, she noticed that for the first time in her life, the young man was not up early and opened the door for her with his hair still in a mess and sleepy eyes. When she came in with the groceries, the young man gave her a nod, yawned, and went back to sleep.


    He had gotten used to her arrival.


    Zhang Man worked in the kitchen for nearly an hour, after all, it was the holidays, and today she came prepared and cooked some of her best dishes from her previous life.


    The kitchenware at Li Wei¡¯s house is new, fully functional, and much more convenient than the ones she used to use, and she came a few times to add some small things. Pink absorbent rags, oven insulation gloves of the same color, beige ceramic small pot, hand towels shaped like dolls¡­¡­


    The colorful cartoon style did not match the overall cool gray and black d¨¦cor, but it filled the entire kitchen one piece at a time.


    After the food was ready, she went to his study, but there was no one in the room, and the table was covered with drafts of paper with messy formulas. Worried that the food was cold, Zhang Man knocked on the door of his room, but no one answered.


    She reached out and turned the knob, luckily the door was unlocked.


    The young man¡¯s room, like his entire home, was large and empty. On one side was a huge floor-to-ceiling window, with two plain gray satin curtains tied up with a band of the same color, and the morning sun shining in, illuminating the entire room.


    In the middle of the smooth wooden floor was his bed, so large that he slept curled up on his side in it, which made his tall body seem surprisingly small.


    Because the cast on his left hand had not yet been removed, he moved restlessly several times, probably because it was uncomfortable.


    Zhang Man quietly walked over and stood by the bed to watch him.


    His hair was unruly and looked fluffy and soft, reminding her of the white and fancy Ragdoll cat that Zhang Huifang had kept in her home in her previous life.


    His cheeks were a little flushed from sleep and his eyes were closed, accentuating the incredibly long and curled eyelashes.


    Zhang Man suddenly stopped rushing to get him up and sat cross-legged on the floor, her arm on the edge of the bed, staring at him intently without blinking.


    He looked peaceful as he slept, as if he had dreamed something good, and the corners of his mouth were slightly curled up, which was less serious and withdrawn than usual.


    Suddenly, she thought of yesterday¡¯s ridicule of Chen Feier ¡ª where men are sexually active creatures and how she could hold back when she¡¯s with him.


    Her gaze shifted involuntarily to the boy¡¯s pursed lips. His lips are perfectly shaped, lightly colored with the dryness after long sleep and with a slightly pronounced lip line.


    Zhang Man swallowed her saliva, and at this moment she felt the heartbeat in her chest, beating loudly and clearly. It was a strange feeling, she thought. While she was not doing any strenuous activities, the subtle guidance of her emotions could really trigger her heart to beat faster.


    It was a feeling she hadn¡¯t had for more than a decade in her previous life.


    And only to him, did her insatiable heart feel the inexplicable longing.


    Zhang Man suddenly remembered a saying that she used to think was very clich¨¦d, but now it seems to make some sense. ¡°Everyone is a fish, but only when you meet the right person, you are like a fish in water.¡±


    As she was looking at him, she was caught off guard by the sudden opening of his eyes. Having just woken up after all, he blinked slowly, and the moment he saw her, there was a hint of confusion in his eyes and he looked straight at her like that, as if trying to recognize if the person in front of him was real.


    Zhang Man stood up from the bedside in a panic and said awkwardly: ¡°That ¡­¡­ Li Wei, it¡¯s time to eat.¡±


    The young man nodded at the words, sat up with the blanket, rested quietly for a long while to fade away the trance of sleep and regained his usual clarity.


    He got up in his slippers and followed her to the dining room.


    He had a good appetite, and after they sat down to eat quietly, the young man held out his right hand to her: ¡°Cell phone.¡±


    Zhang Man reacted and took out the phone from her pocket and put it in his hand. The teenager took the phone, operated it with little proficiency and pressed a few numbers to dial before hanging up.


    He handed the phone back to her, ¡°My number.¡±


    Zhang Man held the phone in her hand, feeling the weight of it was a little heavier. She smiled in her heart and didn¡¯t expose him. He just bought the phone yesterday and it must have only her caller ID.


    She bent her eyes, smiled and instructed, ¡°Then save mine later as well.¡±


    The young man nodded at the words, and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes consciously. The two of them, one doing the cooking and the other washing the dishes, have been working together incredibly naturally for so many days.


    ¡°Li Wei, I¡¯ll go with you to remove the plaster cast in the afternoon after I finish the makeup class, the doctor said last time that it can be removed after a month.¡±


    The young man was stunned for a moment, and after a long while he said, ¡°Good.¡±


    After saying that, he looked at her for a moment and then dropped his eyes to the floor, returning to his previous blank expression.


    Zhang Man looked at his suddenly darkened look and was startled when she realized what was happening.


    ¡ªHe is indeed a very sensitive person.


    Zhang Man eased her emotions and took the initiative by saying, ¡°Li Wei, if you get well, will you not need me anymore? You promised to give me extra lessons all the time so you can¡¯t go back on your promise! From now on, you¡¯ll still give me extra lessons on weekends, and I¡¯ll cook for you, okay? I can¡¯t do my homework at home on my own and there are a lot of things I can¡¯t do.¡±


    As her voice trailed off, he was somewhat stunned. It was as if he was trying to think about what she meant and his brain, which had always been working at high speed, suddenly got stuck.


    Halfway through, he said, ¡°That¡¯s fine for ¡­ me.¡±


    There was some rising tone at the end of his sentence.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart suddenly turned sour, and she understood that he also wanted her to come more often.


    He was so lonely and alone every day that he had to fill the void in his life with delusions. Like he said last time, he can¡¯t think straight 24 hours a day, and if she¡¯s around, he¡¯ll have something to do when he¡¯s bored.


    ¡­¡­


    Because she had to go to the hospital in the afternoon, Zhang Man accelerated her ¡°learning process¡±, and even Li Wei felt that she seemed to suddenly get the hang of things today, and learned very fast. She got through a lot of complicated questions easily, and the accuracy of her homework improved a lot.


    The original content of three hours was compressed into less than two hours.


    The two of them took the X-ray film Li Wei had taken before at the school hospital and the medical report written by the doctor, and went to a nearby hospital.


    After all, big hospital was not as leisurely as the school hospital and it was a holiday, so many people came for medical treatment.


    It took two or three hours to register, see the doctor, and then remove the plaster cast and do the examination. Li Wei was inside the examination room while Zhang Man took the bill to pay the fee and get the medicine to be used later, running upstairs and downstairs, too busy to be bothered with anything.


    When he finally finished, there was no more heavy obstruction on his left hand and his month-long restraint was lifted, so he could finally move freely.


    Zhang Man stood at the door with a pile of things in her arms, and when she saw him come out, her eyes lit up. Then she was a little nervous to let him move around, so she asked him: ¡°Li Wei, please try moving your arm up and down and left and right to see if it will be uncomfortable, the bones where the small arm joint was cracked before, we don¡¯t know if it is fully grown.¡±


    In fact, a thorough examination has been done and the bones are growing well and there are no more problems.


    But the young man, seeing how anxious she was, obediently lifted his arm and turned it up and down a few times, like an old grandfather exercising in the park every morning.


    Zhang Man stretched out her hand again: ¡°Try to hold my hand tightly and see if you have the strength and the flexibility to use your fingers.


    The young man was not so obedient this time.


    ¡ªHe lowered his head and avoided her outstretched hand. Then he lifted his left hand, which had just had its cast removed, and pinched her white cheek with two fingers closed together.


    It wasn¡¯t as hard as she said it would be.


    When he looks down at her, he can¡¯t really see her expression because the light is behind his back. The tips of his fingers were warm and tinged with the warmth of a heartbeat.


    His thumb and forefinger traced slowly from the corner of her lips and the side of her ear respectively, pausing gently when he reached the middle.


    Then tugged outward.


    As if a pinch wasn¡¯t enough to prove the dexterity of his fingers, he flexed his knuckles again and turned to rub her cheek affectionately against the back of his hand.


    Within the next second, he touched her cheek again.


    It was like he simply couldn¡¯t leave.

 CH 19

    ¡ªThe next moment he rubbed her cheek affectionately with the back of his hand as if he was reluctant to leave.


    ¡­


    It wasn¡¯t until they reached the hospital entrance that Zhang Man came to her senses, and blushed in shame. The only time she remembers him hugging her was when she almost fell down and he happened to hold her in his arms just in time.


    Such an active and intimate touch made her heart pound.


    She couldn¡¯t help but cover her reddened cheeks that were pinched by him, her heart in turmoil.


    What does this mean?


    The young man didn¡¯t say anything and kept walking in front of her, so she couldn¡¯t see his face.


    She quickly followed him, and only when she reached the intersection did she remember her main purpose of coming to this hospital today.


    ¡°Li Wei, I¡¯m going to visit a relative in the inpatient department later, so you can go home first.¡±


    Although his face was still expressionless, his eyes were warm. He was wearing a clean, plain white T-shirt and behind him was a sliver of glowing sunset. The orange-toned sunlight blurred the lines of his whole body and brought a soft and warm feeling to his eyes.


    He looked at her and gently curled his lips, ¡°Well, call me if you need anything,¡± he said and turned to leave.


    ¡°Wait a minute ¡­¡± Zhang Man tugged the corner of the teenager¡¯s coat.


    ¡°Earlier¡­ Why did you¡­ do that?¡±


    Her voice got lower and lower and the last word was so low that it was almost inaudible. She was annoyed at herself for being so impulsive at this point.


    The young man turned around with a questioning face, extended his left hand with his thumb and forefinger open, and made a squeezing motion in the air and asked, ¡°You mean this¡­?¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s face flushed red.


    ¡°You got dust on your face which didn¡¯t come off after two scuffs, but don¡¯t worry, I got it off the third time.¡±


    He looked so serious and nodded to her twice in affirmation, as if he were treating a Physics problem with the utmost care.


    Zhang Man: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ***


    After sending Li Wei away, she returned to the hospital.


    The psychiatric department of this hospital in N City is very famous in the province, especially with several experts and professors from the mainland.


    Psychiatry is not the same as medicine or surgery, and the number of patients wasn¡¯t too high, so she made an appointment to see a specialist downstairs and waited about ten minutes before she was called in.


    The psychiatrist in charge is a female doctor in her thirties, who is very young but according to what Zhang Man found on the Internet, she has spent seven to eight years in the United States studying for her doctorate and post-doctorate in schizophrenia , and has a lot of clinical experience and academic accumulation in psychiatry.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you, little girl?¡±


    The female doctor had a gentle smile, her whole demeanor was as gentle as water, and she was very inclusive when she spoke.


    Zhang Man sat down across from her: ¡°Doctor, it¡¯s not me but my friend who has very severe paranoia and is completely unaware of it. May I ask what is the best thing to do in such a situation?¡±


    The doctor also asked her about Li Wei¡¯s specific situation and carefully took notes.


    After about half an hour, the doctor gave some advice.


    ¡°According to the statistical analysis of psychiatric clinical data, delusions like his are very rare. The causes are twofold, the main cause being hereditary brain damage which is also known as hereditary schizophrenia. The delusions he presents with also have external triggers, such as childhood misfortunes, an almost autistic social state, and a withdrawn personality. For example, a person who spends a lot of time in the desert will have hallucinations of seeing an oasis.¡±


    ¡°Based on your descriptions, your friend has not lost his sense of reason and interest, has not become paranoid, manic, or depressed, and has not affected his normal school life except for his delusional symptoms. Medications at this stage are not clinically effective for delusional patients, and given that your friend is still in high school, taking very specific medications will cause some damage to his memory and comprehension.¡±


    ¡°Also, you mentioned that he was unaware of the fact that he was suffering from delusions. This is a very strong psychological condition, and if treatment is taken rashly it can instead trigger strong psychological resistance and cause more serious mental damage as a result. So my current recommendation for now is to hold off on medication.¡±


    ¡°But you must always keep an eye on his condition, and if it affects his studies, life, or produces corresponding symptoms of depression, please make sure to bring him to the hospital. Until then, I hope that his friends and classmates can provide full understanding and guidance, so that he can feel the warmth of reality, and over time, his loneliness and trauma will slowly fade and perhaps his symptoms will also be reduced.¡±


    The doctor¡¯s explanation was very detailed, which gave her a more complete understanding of Li Wei¡¯s condition. She did not just prescribe medicine to the patient, but made a proper judgment for his own condition.


    Zhang Man returned home and lay down on the bed to organize her thoughts.


    In fact, what the doctor said was generally consistent with the information she had looked up before, which means that medication is really not recommended at this stage, and that one day, after he is able to recognize his mental illness it may be too late to take medication to suppress it.


    But the doctor¡¯s words also opened up a new way of thinking for her. She had been thinking about how to treat his paranoia, but now she suddenly had another idea.


    Li Wei¡¯s paranoia is probably due to the fact that he has suffered too many blows and changes in his real life. A person who has grown up to the age of 16-17 has never felt the warmth and kindness of the world, so his paranoia is actually a self-protection for himself.


    So does it mean that if she can give him more warmth and make him feel that someone in real life also loves him deeply, cares about him and misses him all the time, will he naturally not have those delusions?


    She made up her mind in her heart to be good to him every day, and if he wanted it, even if it was a star in the sky, she would want to pick it for him.


    As long as it was not like the last life, when she suddenly lost him forever one day and fell into an endless nightmare from then on, she was determined to be good to him every day.


    ¡­¡­


    In the following days, Zhang Man didn¡¯t go to Li Wei¡¯s house to attend private lessons, but stayed home to practice for the National Day performance.


    She practiced day and night every day, and as soon as she did so, Zhang Huifang was surprised.


    Zhang Huifang asked her a casual question and was shocked to learn that she was going to perform on stage.


    ¡°Zhang Man, you don¡¯t have a fever, do you? I remember when you were in junior high school and my friend came to the house and asked you to play a song in public you refused to do it. Performing on stage? Didn¡¯t you say it was worse than being killed?¡±


    Zhang Man is a person who has always been very stubborn and doesn¡¯t know how to take advantage of others, and will never agree to anything she doesn¡¯t want to do. She was quiet, inconspicuous, and hated to hide herself in the crowd but has no sense of presence at all.


    Zhang Huifang used to have a headache over this matter as well, because she used to have such a hot temperament and yet she gave birth to such a sullen girl.


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t tell her the truth: ¡°Nothing, there¡¯s just a lack of people available in the class.¡±


    Zhang Huifang sneered and sat on the sofa with her legs crossed, gouging the nails that had just been done two days ago and said: ¡°You are the only one left on earth who does not care about anything except you. Who are you kidding ah? Tell me, are you in love¡­¡±


    Zhang Man was somewhat speechless, as expected of someone who has fallen in love so many times, her mind is keen: ¡°No, I didn¡¯t.¡±


    Zhang Huifang obviously didn¡¯t believe her, and blew the shredded hair between her forehead that blocked her vision: ¡°If you don¡¯t want to say it, forget it, its fine¡­ I don¡¯t care.¡±


    Zhang Huifang has been going out quite often during this period of time, but she has not said that she has a new relationship, probably because she hasn¡¯t met that scum Zheng Zineng yet.


    Zhang Man remembered that it should be just three months since her mother¡¯s last love affair ended. The other man¡¯s name is Xu Shang, who runs a 4S Authorized car dealership and was almost obedient to Zhang Huifang when they were together.


    When she broke up with him, Zhang Man was still a bit puzzled, but when she asked her, she only said that their personalities didn¡¯t match.


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t believe her mother and thought it must be because Zhang Huifang was tired of him.


    In the past few years, she has been changing boyfriends one after another, each time saying that their personalities don¡¯t match, or their life patterns don¡¯t match, or their outlooks don¡¯t match, but it seems to Zhang Man that people like her who are passionate about love must have fallen in love at a certain point in time but got bored, so she can¡¯t help but throw them aside afterwards.


    She never turned a blind eye to the mess her mother made, and as long as it didn¡¯t affect her life she didn¡¯t care anymore.


    In the evening, Zhang Man practiced the guitar so much that her fingertips hurt, so she had to stop practicing temporarily and fell into bed to rest.


    Zhang Huifang knocked on her door and gave her a dress.


    ¡°Zhang Man, aren¡¯t you going to perform on stage? I used to wear this dress all the time and it¡¯s kind of my uniform, so I¡¯ll pass it on to you and I promise you¡¯ll be the center of attention.¡±


    Zhang Man held the dress between her two fingers and shook it off gently, looking at the pitifully small amount of fabric and raised her eyebrows.


    She wondered if any mother would let her underage daughter wear such a dress.


    Zhang Huifang was stunned when she saw it unfold, then immediately snatched it back with an embarrassed face: ¡°I¡¯ve got the wrong one, he he.¡±


    With that, she went back to her room for a moment and found another dress, the same color as the one she just showed.


    Zhang Man took a closer look at it, it was a black modern modified version of the cheongsam with just the right waistband fit, delicate pan buttons, and a high slit in the hemline that went down to mid-thigh.


    Although it is a cheongsam style, the whole design is very modern, as if it were worn by a lady from a wealthy family in the old days that also admired Western culture, and does not contradict the English song she will sing.


    Overall, it was a very elegant dress and he should ¡­ also think it looks good, right?


    So Zhang Man gratefully accepted it.


    Tomorrow is the 7th, she opened her phone and sent a text message to Li Wei.


    ¡°Remember the National Day Performance tomorrow afternoon.¡±


    I will be waiting for you to come.


    She still had so many words that she didn¡¯t dare to tell him directly and wanted to sing to him one by one.


    She turned off her cell phone and stood by the window, she suddenly remembered the day when he seriously said that he was just helping her to rub the dust off her face.


    Zhang Man couldn¡¯t help but laugh softly and shook her head helplessly. He is such a pragmatic person. He doesn¡¯t have that many crooked thoughts.


    For her, he was willing to buy a cell phone and step out of his confined circle in order to make a difference. He was also willing to reach out and wipe the dust off her cheeks.


    In his heart, she must have been different from the others.


    If only he could go on forever without pain and depression, it would be great. The two of them could live their lives in peace and harmony and one day, he would realize that he loves her like she does to him.


    Regardless of whether he was a teenager who was slightly embarrassed, or a middle-aged man who was full of vigor, or a gray-haired man who was deep and wise, she wanted to stay with him forever.


    Instead of ending it all at his prime.

 CH 20

    On October 7, Zhang Man arrived at the N City Auditorium early in the morning.


    Since N City High School is the leading provincial school, it attaches great importance to the multi-faceted development of students, and this kind of performance which can showcase the cultural and artistic outlook of the school is relatively grand.


    In addition to seating for all students, a separate section of the auditorium was reserved for some parents who had signed up.


    Zhang Man arrived backstage, changed into the dress Zhang Huifang prepared for her and went to the makeup room. The school hired a team of professional makeup artists for the students.


    Most of the performers had met yesterday at the rehearsal and were now in the dressing room getting ready and nervously waiting for the second rehearsal scheduled for the morning.


    Since Qin Shuai is the head of the Arts and Literature Department, not only does he have his own solo piano program, but he is also the host and the coordinator of the whole show. He went in and out to check the status of each actor as well as the preparation of props making him very busy.


    ¡°The makeup artist is over there, applying makeup to the girl who arrived first¡­¡±


    He had just opened the door of the dressing room when he saw the young girl standing aside waiting for her makeup.


    Snow-white skin, black dress, the exquisite modified version of the cheongsam is extremely flattering, outlining her enchanting curves. She pulled up her long hair today and instead of tying it in a ponytail like before, she fixed all her hair at the back of her head and put it in a bun, even her bangs were carefully pinned up with a hair clasp, revealing a clean forehead.


    The 16 or 17-year-old girl with fair and clear skin looks stunningly beautiful even without makeup.


    Qin Shuai in this moment, suddenly could not help but freeze.


    He had already seen her several times before, yet his heart still felt like it had been punched hard each time. After knocking his head, he thought to himself, this girl really grew on his aesthetics.


    Completely forgetting his task, President Qin went in and got close: ¡°Junior, are you nervous?¡±


    Zhang Man saw him come in and greeted him, ¡°Hello, senior. I¡¯m okay, not too nervous.¡±


    ¡°En. Your rehearsal yesterday was exceptional.¡±


    Actually, Zhang Man¡¯s heart is still a little nervous. In her previous life, she had never sung in front of Li Wei. She looked at the clock in the dressing room. It¡¯s only 8:30 a.m. ¡®I wonder if he¡¯s up yet.¡¯


    The auditorium is very close to his home, just a ten-minute walk away. Moreover, her show is around five o¡¯clock, so even if he sleeps until the afternoon, he will be able to make it.


    Qin Shuai wanted to add a few more compliments, but was pulled away by Zheng Nan, another member of the Arts and Literature Department. He(ZN) reported that there were changes to the host speech and told him(QS) to take care of it.


    He walked out of the room and pulled Zheng Nan aside, ¡°Hey, do you have something to do later today?¡±


    Zheng Nan shook his head, ¡°Nothing. Boss, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Help me buy a bouquet of flowers, the kind that are fresh and unpretentious but not gaudy. I¡¯ll reimburse you when you get back, go.¡±


    ¡ª


    Rehearsals went well in the morning and soon it was time for the cultural performance to officially begin. Her performance was still a long way off anyway, so she simply sat down and watched the show on stage in the audience area.


    There were so many people that the auditorium was divided into blocks of areas according to classes, and almost all the seats were filled. The stage and sound effects were very good and the audience seemed to have a good time despite the fact that some students were in a mess on stage.


    Frankly, the shows were of varying standards. The performances presented by normal class were obviously a bit childish, but those presented by genuine clubs such as folk orchestras, western orchestras, rock bands, etc. were of high caliber.


    She looked at her watch, it was 4:00 pm. She still had half an hour to go backstage for the performance. Glancing over to the freshman class area, the crowd was overwhelming but Li Wei was nowhere to be seen. She took out her phone and sent a text message.


    ¡¾Li Wei, are you here?¡¿


    After waiting for half an hour, the other party did not reply.


    Zhang Man was a little anxious and was worried if something had happened to him, so she went to the backstage lounge and gave him a call.


    Still no answer.


    Zhang Man had no choice. The temporary venue arranged by the Student Council has already started to rush. In the back of her mind, she thought maybe he was already here. The sound was too loud and she couldn¡¯t hear the ring on her phone any longer.


    She went to the backstage waiting area with her guitar in her arms, and waited just over ten minutes, right before Qin Shuai on stage announced her name.


    ¡°Next, we have a freshman singing with her guitar.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s give it up for Zhang Man!¡±


    ¡­


    When Zhang Man finished singing there was an extremely boisterous applause from the whole audience, and there were many sophomore and seniors who even whistled towards her. Chen Feier, sitting in the front row, kept shouting her name frantically, her voice so shrill that it stood out in the midst of a cacophony of applause.


    She stood up and bowed towards the audience, and was about to leave the stage when she noticed that the host Qin Shuai, who was supposed to come up after she left the stage, came up, holding a large bouquet of flowers.


    It was a bouquet of fresh and common lilies.


    He smiled and handed her the flowers in a natural fashion. Zhang Man hesitated for a moment. She was not good at embarrassing people in full view, so she reached out to take them and gave him a polite smile, nodding her head in thanks.


    Once off stage, Zhang Man returned her guitar to the instrument station and immediately went back to the first class area. However, she did not see Li Wei even after looking from front to back. She asked her classmates and found out that Li Wei did not come and his phone number could not be reached.


    Zhang Man was a little lost. In her mind, she thought, ¡°He didn¡¯t forget, did he?


    But immediately afterwards, a strong wave of worry came over her.


    He clearly said he would come and that he was looking forward to it so how could he have forgotten? Something must have happened, right?


    She frowned and her heart began to beat wildly. She stopped herself from thinking ahead and walked towards Li Wei¡¯s house without even having time to change her clothes. She even had the flowers that Qin Shuai had just given her in her hand and didn¡¯t have time to deal with it.


    When he arrived at Li Wei¡¯s door, Zhang Man heard his voice in the doorway. She breathed a sigh of relief, fortunately, nothing happened to him.


    Except that his voice at the moment is very different from his usual calm voice. The tone rose and the volume were heavy with a very intense mood, as if he was arguing with someone. Zhang Man was somewhat puzzled by it, did he have a guest at home?


    She rang the doorbell and the youth quickly came and opened the door for her.


    The door of the room opened and the air was filled with a damp smell that had not been ventilated for several days, the room was very dim and the curtains in the living room were drawn, not a single light came in from outside.


    Zhang Man squinted for a while to adapt to such dimness, and only then did she see the youth standing in the doorway.


    His appearance is quite wretched.


    The knotted hair was piled on top of his head in a disheveled manner, looking like it hadn¡¯t been taken care of for several days. His slightly drooping eyes were covered with dense green and red blood, and the dark circles under his eyes were extremely heavy.


    Zhang Man noticed that the youth¡¯s chin was flushed with green tint stubble that hadn¡¯t been shaved for a long time, and the thin lips were pursed tightly, and were so dry that they cracked out a clear line.


    It clearly looked like he hadn¡¯t slept in days, but his eyes were exuberant.


    Zhang Man has just put down her worry instantly raised it up again, what happened?


    Seeing that it was her, the youth had a flash of surprise in his eyes and gestured to her with a nod for her to come in first.


    ¡°Zhang Man, please wait a minute. A friend of mine is here.¡±


    With that, he turned around and went into the study, as if he was completely unaware that he had stood her up.


    Zhang Man suppressed the worry and doubt in her heart, changed her slippers and followed him inside.


    He actually had a friend coming to the house, who was it?


    ¡ªHowever, when she actually stood in front of the study with the intention of meeting his friend, she couldn¡¯t help but suck in a breath of cold air.


    The sight in front of her eyes made her entire body start to shiver uncontrollably. An overwhelmingly frightening realization came to her mind.


    In this study, there was no second person except himself.


    But he didn¡¯t know that.


    The youth set up a small chalkboard in the study, and two empty chairs were placed in front of the board.


    Sitting himself in one of the chairs, he raised his hand to point to a messily written equation on the board to another empty chair, and his voice questioned, ¡°How can such an overdistance effect exist?¡±


    After he asked this question, he looked at the empty chair and listened quietly with an immense concentration, as though he was listening to someone who was explaining to him that question just now.


    During this time the whole room was so quiet that it seemed to stand still, and the only sound in the room was the shallow breathing of the both of them. However, the youth¡¯s face showed a sincere expression of listening.


    Zhang Man gradually got goose bumps. She almost thought for a moment that there was really a person sitting on that chair talking to him, only she didn¡¯t see it.


    She held her breath and tried to restrain herself from making a sound for fear of disturbing the eerily quiet atmosphere.


    About a few minutes later, the youth nodded, looking dazed, and said calmly to the patch of air, ¡°Right, which means that this action of overdistance between quantum entanglement does break the causality in the same way as the collapse of the wave function, right?¡±


    He said and spread his hands helplessly: ¡°Nick, I still can¡¯t quite accept this argument. The basis of quantum theory is really hard to accept.¡±


    After he said this, he was quiet for a long time. While listening, he nodded from time to time in recognition of the ¡°other side¡¯s¡± point of view.


    Zhang Man watched all this and felt the strength of her body being drained away a little. She clasped her hands together and tried to restrain herself from trembling.


    After about a few more minutes, he suddenly remembered that Zhang Man was on the side, so he said to that patch of air, ¡°Sorry, Nick but my classmate is here to see me, so let¡¯s stop here today and discuss it next time.¡±


    He turned sideways to face Zhang Man again and raised his hand to indicate the seat next to him, ¡°Zhang Man, this is my friend, Nick.¡±


    Crashing into his gaze towards herself, Zhang Man only felt her upper and lower teeth chattering. In her two lifetimes, this was the first time she had seen his illness so directly.


    She tried hard to calm herself down and tried to use the calmest tone of voice possible as she greeted the spot he was pointing to.


    ¡°Hello Nick, I¡¯m Zhang Man.¡±


    Her whole movement was incomparably stiff and she broke out in a cold sweat with difficulty.


    Li Wei introduced her to the other person again, and there was a small gap in the conversation as he listened to the ¡°other¡± side. Not knowing what he (LW) heard, she saw him shook his head and laugh, ¡°I¡¯ll walk you out.¡±


    When he walked out of the study, Zhang Man¡¯s tense nerves instantly collapsed. She lost all her strength and her body slowly slid down the wall and sat paralyzed on the floor.


    The palms of her hands are already full of sweat.

 CH 21

    It¡¯s one thing to know, but it¡¯s another to see it in person.


    It turned out that he was really so sick, Zhang Man only felt that her heart was cut back and forth with a blunt knife. The heartache overwhelmed her, leaving her defenseless.


    In the midst of endless loneliness, he had delusions of another friend besides his mother, Lin Hui.


    He lived such a life, without her knowledge, for so many years.


    Soon, the youth returned and he seemed to be in a good mood, as if he had just discussed an important issue with his ¡°friend¡± just now.


    Zhang Man tried to calm down and got up, exerting a somewhat stiff smile.


    Luckily, the young man didn¡¯t even notice.


    ¡°Zhang Man, why are you here? Don¡¯t you have a rehearsal today?¡±


    When she heard his question, she realized that perhaps he had been engaging in the ¡°discussion¡± from the 6th to the present and thus had lost track of time.


    No wonder you look that tired.


    She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down, her tone was a bit angry: ¡°Hmph! What rehearsal, can¡¯t you see that I¡¯m done with the show?¡±


    The youth looked slightly surprised and glanced at the date on his watch.


    He clenched his hand and lowered his head, his voice a bit lower: ¡°¡­I was having a conversation with Nick for so long that I forgot the time and thought it was the sixth.¡±


    In his voice, there was clearly some guilt and self-recrimination.


    Zhang Man pretended to be a little angry, turned away and ignored him while her heart was still in a mess thinking about what just happened a while ago.


    The youth walked over with his head down, leaned down to be level with her and asked softly, ¡°Did your¡­ performance go well?¡±


    ¡°Why ask? You weren¡¯t there to see if it went well or not.¡±


    The youth looked at her cold look and a strong chagrin welled up in his heart as he gently clenched his fist once again.


    Had I known, I wouldn¡¯t have asked Nick to meet me on the sixth. I can¡¯t believe we talked for so long¡­ so long that I missed her performance.


    He clearly said he would go and yet he missed his appointment and left her waiting until she found him at home.


    She must be very disappointed with me, right? Then in the future, she probably won¡¯t come back here¡­


    The youth dropped his head and glanced at the girl in front of him.


    She looks well-groomed today, bursting with astonishing beauty.


    The young girl¡¯s long hair pulled up high lined her neck more. She looked slender and beautiful. The black dress outlined with a dark pattern shows off her figure and makes her look several years more mature than usual.


    ¡ªThe barren physical formulas in his mind failed to articulate her beauty in any way.


    In this instant, Li Wei even felt as if there were two accelerated high-energy particles colliding in his heart with a resounding ¡® bang ¡®.


    And somewhere inside, an irreversible qualitative change has occurred.


    His heart began to beat uncontrollably, and his thoughts had gone haywire.


    He couldn¡¯t help thinking that she must have shined on stage today, more beautiful than she is now.


    The youth¡¯s gaze shifted down and his attention was drawn to the bouquet she was holding.


    She has clear, almost translucent white skin and ebony black hair. The bouquet of pure white lilies contrasted with her whole person turned out to be somewhat holy, just like an angel not belonging to this world.


    An emotion that is completely unfamiliar to him starts within his heart and spreads throughout his body along with the flow of blood, as though he had accidentally eaten a piece of an unripe orange.


    The others have seen her beauty, but he damn well missed it! There must have been many people who were amazed by her, such as the person who bought this bouquet of flowers.


    These unfamiliar emotions were dominating his words, and with a feigned carelessness he asked, ¡°Are the flowers¡­ from the audience? Is¡­ it a boy?¡±


    Zhang Man, whose emotions and mood were still immersed in the scene just now, casually responded, ¡°Mm.¡±


    The youth got the answer and stood there for a while without saying anything, the overwhelmingly strange emotions were even more than the ones he had just felt, sweeping his whole body and leaving him unsure of how to deal with it.


    The room was suddenly quiet, and only then did Zhang Man come back to her senses.


    She looked at his expression and thought he was feeling guilty for missing the appointment, so she smiled and patted his shoulder: ¡°Li Wei, I¡¯m just kidding with you, I¡¯m not angry. Did you not get a breath of air for the past few days? Do you want to go out for a walk?¡±


    The youth nodded: ¡°Wait for me, I¡¯ll take a shower and change my clothes first.¡±


    ¡ª


    The two followed the road in front of Li Wei¡¯s house and walked to the beach.


    His home is facing the west of the sea and the sunset can still be seen at this time. Layers of red haze spread across the junction of the sea-horizon and the sky. A flock of seagulls rested on the shore and flew up in fright when someone walked by, hovering in the sky.


    Evening is the perfect time for a walk. It is not too hot and not too cold, and the wet air on the beach carries a hint of saltiness.


    The two walked side by side on the fine, soft sandy beach, enjoying the gentle evening breeze.


    As each had something on their mind, they walked quietly and remained silent.


    In an effort to recall all the details of the onset of Li Wei, Zhang Man was thinking of writing it down when she got home later, so she could take it to consult the doctor in the future.


    Li Wei, on the other hand, was thinking about the bouquet of flowers.


    Who was it from? Was it from someone she knew? And what does it mean when she accepts the flowers¡­?


    He thought about it for a while and failed to get an answer. The inquisitiveness screaming at the bottom of his heart made him especially eager to ask for clarification, but he couldn¡¯t even open his mouth.


    The genius youth, who is usually incredibly good at thinking and perceptive, was in trouble at this moment. He didn¡¯t know what was wrong with him, why he was so concerned about a small bouquet of flowers that it surpassed the physics problem he hadn¡¯t figured out in his mind.


    Why?


    Yet this problem, for someone who grew up near autistic like him, is almost insurmountable.


    Finally, Zhang Man spoke up to break the silence: ¡°Li Wei, let¡¯s go over there. I¡¯ll sing you a song, okay?¡±


    This song was sung for him so how could he miss it.


    The youth nodded, with a rare look of anticipation and tenderness in his eyes.


    The two sat down on the golden sandy beach and the gentle voice of the young girl slowly rang out, without the accompaniment of a guitar, but with the evening sea breeze and the gentle sound of the tide.


    ¡°If I should stay


    I would only be in your way


    And so I¡¯ll go, but I know


    I¡¯ll think of you each step of the way¡±


    Sitting next to him like this, singing the song she wanted to sing to him, Zhang Man felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Everything she had just experienced, the scenes that made her tremble involuntarily, were now soothed by the tenderness within her heart.


    Everything¡¯s fine, she¡¯s seen how he looks when he¡¯s sick, and it¡¯s not scary at all, just a little heartbreaking.


    She feels sorry for the years he had no one to look after him, for his sensitive and paranoid nature, and for the little world he built for himself in his heart.


    A world in which he has friends, family, and people who love him is all she prays for.


    Whether it was joy or sadness, everything related to him could pull at her heart. Zhang Man realized with unparalleled clarity that she had fallen hopelessly in love with his entire being.


    ¡°¡­I will always love you¡±


    I will always love you.


    When the song was over, she looked at the youth listening quietly beside her and did not speak.


    The youth also looked at her, gently applauded and told her, ¡°Zhang Man, close your eyes.¡±


    Zhang Man was a little puzzled, but still obediently closed her eyes.


    The brief loss of vision made her sense of hearing unusually keen. She heard him stand up, take a few steps away and come back, and then there was a ¡°rustling¡± sound around her.


    It took about ten minutes or so before he let her open her eyes.


    The moment Zhang Man opened her eyes and saw the ground in front of her; she covered her mouth and whimpered in shock.


    On the originally empty beach, there are now blooming ¡°roses¡±, dyed with a gentle warm red by the afterglow of the setting sun, and the youth, standing in the middle of a cascading sea of flowers is holding a short branch in his hand.


    He raised his head to look at her, his eyes slightly curved: ¡°Do you like it?¡±


    ¡°Zhang Man, it¡¯s for you, you sing so beautifully!¡±


    He drew roses for her on the beach, in a reverent manner as if he were writing his favorite physics equation.


    The sea ebbs, gently lapping the shore, the sea breeze whistles softly as birds hover and chirp.


    Within the jumbled background sounds, Zhang Man clearly heard her own heart beating wildly, the intense emotion made it difficult for her to hide at the moment. She looked at the youth in front of her and stared into his eyes almost greedily.


    Emotions dictate the answer long before the brain reacts.


    ¡°Yes, I like it a lot.¡±


    I like you a lot.


    ¡ª


    The two sat watching the sunset. On the sea level, a round of red warm sun border blurred, it was like someone had put in a halo around with watercolor, and the whole sky carried that warm hue.


    Zhang Man enjoyed the quiet atmosphere, and suddenly felt a weight on her shoulder.


    She turned her head and it turned out to be the youth leaning against her shoulder, asleep.


    He must have been tired after not closing his eyes for two whole days.


    He was sleeping heavily and the fact that he was obviously in such an uncomfortable position did not hinder his rhythmic breathing at all.


    He originally leaned close, and now that the whole person is leaning on her, the messy hair sticking to her neck tickles a little. He had just bathed, and his body still carried a slight fragrance of body wash, not the strong kind but a very fresh scent of fragrance, which made her feel comfortable.


    Zhang Man tried to think of how to describe the comfortable feeling ¡ª she felt like a quilt that has been basked in the sun.


    She waited for him to sleep a bit more so she gently lifted his head and sat back a bit so that he could lay his head on her lap.


    The youth also seems to be consciously looking for a more comfortable position in his sleep, moving slightly and turning into lying on his back on her lap. He looks really good when his eyes are closed like this, unlike his usual somber, do-not-approach aura, he looks so peaceful right now.


    By this time the sun had completely set and the temperature on the beach began to drop. Zhang Man took out the blanket used in the morning in the lounge from her backpack, which was big enough to wrap up two people.


    As the darkness belonging to the night fell, she stayed by his side and watched as the sky grew one or two stars.


    Her heart is at peace. Many times people are really not greedy and do not need something big, like exciting love filled with ups and downs in life.


    She just wants to drag him back from the desperate path a little bit and accompany him to see that other than darkness, there are still bright stars in the night sky.

 CH 22

    After the National Day performance, the long holiday of November also ended. The short-lived summer is starting to leave, and the cicadas¡¯ chirping is dying down.


    This year, N City officially entered early autumn in early October.


    The students in high school were mercilessly put back into the ¡°cage¡±. Due to the sudden loss of freedom after being free for so long, everyone looked a bit wilted and unmotivated.


    At times like this, some campus gossip is often needed to act as a stimulant.


    So, it didn¡¯t take long for Li Wei to know the answer that had been bothering him for a long time.


    ¡ªThe owner of that bouquet of lilies is called Qin Shuai, whom he heard is a very good senior, the school¡¯s most popular figure, and one of the hosts of that National Day performance.


    In fact, all students must follow a strict time management system every day in any top high school that pursues a first-class ranking, especially those in the best high schools in N City.


    Such a boring, day-to-day life makes students have a keen sense of campus gossip, and many gossip stories can spread throughout the campus in just a few days.


    In the classroom, on campus, and in the cafeteria¡­ students from different grades were talking about the ¡®incident¡¯ after school.


    ¡°You know that girl in the Class 1, called Zhang Man, the one who played the guitar in the National Day performance last time. That girl is really beautiful ah, no wonder even the handsome Qin has fallen.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, even the guys in my class have been talking about this girl lately, and to be honest she looks really good. That black modified cheongsam she wore on stage was amazing! I am a girl, but I was also dumbfounded when I saw her! It¡¯s like a fairy coming down to earth! How come I never noticed her before? This girl is also too low-key.


    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for Qin Shuai who went up to deliver flowers and made his attitude clear directly, I guess the threshold of the senior class would have been stepped on in the past two days.


    ¡°But Qin Shuai is also outstanding, not only is he handsome, he can play the piano well, and his family background is also good, I heard that his father has a business, and his mother is a professor in the Chinese language department of Z University. He and Sister Zhang are a good match!¡±


    ¡°Tsk, he has taken a stand, who else can grab her from him¡ªjust watch, maybe in a few days our school will have another campus couple, I can tell you that even the Dean wouldn¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no uncertainty about it, It will definitely happen! I was sitting in the front row last time, watching carefully, the girl did not hesitate to accept Qin Shuai¡¯s flowers, but also smiled at him, obviously very happy¡­¡±


    For these frivolous and meaningless gossips, Li Wei originally blocked it in his ears, but hearing Zhang Man¡¯s name over and over again made it impossible for him to ignore it any longer.


    So while the youth sat in the cafeteria eating, his ears and brain accurately grasped a lot of useful information from the discussions of several girls at the next table.


    ¡ªFairy, flowers, excellent, good match, happy.


    The scrambled eggs with tomatoes in his mouth suddenly got sour, and he frowned, thinking that maybe the cafeteria chef had put too much white vinegar today.


    He even felt that perhaps it was the strong kind, because the sour taste not only raged in his mouth, but even swept through his heart.


    ¡­


    Zhang Man felt that there¡¯s something wrong with Li Wei when he returned to class after lunch that day.


    He was reading a book as usual and had replaced it with a new one called ¡°Space and Geometry¡±, a thick English version with dazzling expositions in English and formulas with various strange symbols on the page he spread.


    It is too profound for ordinary people.


    Zhang Man observed him for a long time, and found that he did not turn the page for more than half an hour, and also did not move the pen to deduce. He simply sat there with unfocused eyes.


    In fact, it seems that since the 7th of October, he has been a little off.


    That night the two stayed at the beach until late before going home, and when she saw Li Wei again the next day, she felt a hint of confusion and bewilderment on his face.


    This expression is rarely seen on him. In his professional field, he was always firm and confident, and even if he had doubts for a while, he would quietly think about it.


    But now, the look on his face made her think that he seemed to be in some trouble that he couldn¡¯t solve.


    Zhang Man helplessly sighed, the difference between a teacher training physics major and serious theoretical physics is too big. The books he is reading now have never been touched in her previous life, and to be honest, those formulas and derivations give her a headache every time she looks at them.


    So even if she wants to help, there¡¯s nothing she can do.


    Meanwhile, the original quiet classroom got rowdy, several girls were screaming with laughter, and at the back of the classroom, a group of boys represented by Liu Chang were booing.


    She followed the direction of everyone¡¯s uproar, looked towards the back door of the classroom, and found Qin Shuai standing there. As he looked inside, he instantly lit up when his gaze met hers.


    He looked at her with a smile on his face, walked into the classroom with long legs and walked straight towards her.


    Qin Shuai has always been a popular figure in the campus, and as one of the center of the gossip in the past two days, his action today is a picture worth 1000 words.


    When the students in the Class 1 saw him walking straight towards Zhang Man¡¯s seat, they all stopped what they were doing, fixed their eyes on them, and got excited.


    There were even a few girls whispering, ¡°Is he going to profess his love? Kyaa!¡±


    Qin Shuai walked to Zhang Man, put a box held in his hand on her desk and smiled, ¡°Junior, I brought you a box of chocolates, my father brought it back from abroad a few days ago, it tastes good, you try it.¡±


    Before Zhang Man could react, he took out two more movie tickets from his pocket: ¡°Tomorrow Saturday, there is a new movie opening. I bought two tickets, would you like to go with me?¡±


    Zhang Man opened her mouth, and surprisingly, it was the movie tickets again.


    She laughed bitterly in her heart, just because of this National Day performance, what would only happen in her sophomore year in her previous life has come early.


    In her previous life, Qin Shuai had not seen her yet at this point.


    She reflexively glanced at the youth sitting quietly beside her, reading a book.


    The book that hadn¡¯t moved for half an hour was suddenly turned over a page by him, and the sound of the pages rubbing against the air carried a slight tearing sensation.


    Zhang Man was slightly disappointed in her heart, and unlike in her previous life, he didn¡¯t seem to have any reaction.


    But this time she will never, ever agree to do it again like she did in her previous life, just to gamble with him.


    ¡°Sorry, senior, I have other things tomorrow.¡±


    Qin Shuai is obviously a person with strong psychological qualities and after hearing her words; he did not suffer a blow at all but withdrew the tickets naturally: ¡°It¡¯s OK. Then we¡¯ll talk about it when you are free.¡±


    Zhang Man also reached out and pushed the box of chocolates on the table and stated in a flat tone, ¡°Senior, I have a toothache and can¡¯t eat anything sweet.¡±


    Qin Shuai smiled again and didn¡¯t take back the chocolate: ¡°You can distribute it to your classmates. Don¡¯t worry, it¡¯s not brought to you alone, everyone in our Arts and Literature Department has one. Take it. Don¡¯t forget you¡¯ve joined the Arts and Literature Department before.¡±


    His generous family and good upbringing allow him to grasp these points well, and to test the waters without embarrassing either of them.


    Zhang Man had to nod and accept it.


    He did not say anything so she could not say it too bluntly and had to let it go.


    When Qin Shuai left, Zhang Man continued to do the paper that was half done before.


    When the lunch bell rang, the classroom was quiet again, most of the students were doing their homework and reviewing. The ¡°rustle¡± of writing and the occasional sound of flipping through books became a rough background sound in the quiet afternoon.


    Naturally, there are a few sporadic sleepers as well, and the boy at the table in front of Zhang Man is grinning widely as he slumps down on the table and falls into a deep sleep, emitting a regular light snoring sound.


    For the entire lunch break period, she did her homework with the youth by her side, looking at his book, neither of them talking.


    However, when the lunch break was over, she saw the youth turn another page of a book that hadn¡¯t been touched for a long time, followed by a very soft voice ringing in her ears.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you go?¡±


    His tone was calm, as if he was simply bored with reading a book and asked a casual question.


    Zhang Man first froze for a moment before reacting to the fact that he was asking why she didn¡¯t agree to Qin Shuai to go to the movies with him.


    She stopped writing, her heart curling with a fine pain.


    She will always remember her previous life in front of the school, when he looked at her with near paranoia and pleading tone, ¡°Can you not go?¡±


    There will always be a memory that you¡¯ll never forget but always remember, the painful feeling accompanying it will not decay, but will pull you deeper into a vortex that you can¡¯t escape.


    She looked back, arched her eyebrows, and gently tugged on his sleeve.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have time to go. Did you forget that I¡¯m going to your house tomorrow to cook for you?¡±


    After her words fell, the youth¡¯s taut spine relaxed slightly and the whole thing seems to have suddenly cleared up.


    The corners of his mouth curved imperceptibly, and his good-looking eyes blinked gently twice. He nodded, still without speaking, and turned back to continue reading.


    This time, however, he gently pressed the spine of the book, spread out a blank sheet of paper, and began to perform detailed calculations on the paper as he read.


    It seemed that the puzzle that had been bothering him before suddenly had an answer.


    ¡­


    A week later, the results of the voting for this year¡¯s National Day performance, which was a huge topic of conversation on campus, came out.


    Almost every year before, the top three in the show were awarded to the school¡¯s rock band, western orchestra and dance club, but this time, on the big red and gold list posted under the school building, Zhang Man¡¯s self-playing and singing act came in third place.


    Zhang Man became the only one who has taken one of the top three places in the individual registration program in recent years.


    For a while, she was at the top of the school scene.


    In particular, someone on the school¡¯s posting bar put up a few photos of her serene performance on stage, and suddenly there was a stir on the postings of several major high schools in N City.


    In the past two days, she received many love letters, and even while walking on the road, there will be some unknown students approaching her.


    At noon that day, just after the two arrived at the cafeteria, a senior student came over and asked for her cell phone number, which was coldly rejected by Zhang Man.


    She looked at Chen Feier, who was gloating in front of her, and felt helpless. She blamed herself for her bad ideas. Just look at the result, Li Wei didn¡¯t catch up with the show, but she attracted a few idlers instead.


    ¡°¡­Man Man, I still can¡¯t believe it, you¡¯re like an overnight celebrity now! I went to our school posting and saw that recently many posters were asking about you, and a few seniors even declared their love for you. There was a poll posted a few days ago, and you were voted as the school flower of the school this year! Man Man, you¡¯re going to be popular!¡±


    Zhang Man blankly expressed a ¡°Stop¡± sign, she really doesn¡¯t want to hear her continue, and besides, Chen Feier has been talking with great interest for more than ten minutes already.


    But her efforts to stop it were clearly useless.


    Chen Feier dug a large spoonful of the double-skinned milk bought at window number two: ¡°If I may say so, Man Man, you should give up on Li Wei. Look at your daily attentiveness, even I as a bystander can see that he hasn¡¯t shown any interest towards you. So many good young people are prostrating under your pomegranate skirt for you to choose so why hang from one tree?¡±


    With that, she took the spoonful of double-skinned milk into her mouth and her eyebrows were stretched, ¡°Mmm, it¡¯s still better with the red bean!¡±


    Zhang Man swallowed a mouthful of rice in a bad mood: ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me. You better focus on the midterm exams next week.¡±


    Chen Feier instantly wilted like a frosted eggplant, propping her head up and slumping on the dining room table with no energy, her two bushy eyebrows furrowed: ¡°I¡¯m done for! This semester I¡¯ve been chasing stars and reading gossip, I haven¡¯t learned anything.¡±


    Zhang Man amusingly smooths her hair: ¡°Well, when the time comes, I will take you with me to review. Do not worry too much, you¡¯re just too bad at math and physics and still have a bit of a base in the others.¡±


    Actually, she is not very worried about Chen Feier, she has a big personality, optimistic, funny and often has better luck compared to others, she has never suffered anything in her life, and has a smooth life.


    In her previous life, Chen Feier did not get into the top college entrance examination and went to a second school, but once she graduated, she was arranged by her family to work in one of N City¡¯s public institutions, where her job was stable. Later, she met her future husband through a blind date, and it was love at first sight. It didn¡¯t take long for the two to get married and have children.


    Her husband pampered her with the utmost care and attention, listened to her in all matters of the house, and was willing to work hard without any complaints, there¡¯s no beating or scolding, and he practically spoiled her like a princess. In the words of Zhang Huifang, Chen Feier¡¯s life is called having ¡®a good fate¡¯, jumping out of the ivory tower, turning around and entering another ivory tower.


    ¡­


    In November, some deciduous trees on both sides of the road began to become bare, only the camphor remained verdant, and even the greenness of the leaf tips became more and more intense with the change of seasons.


    The midterm exam came as scheduled, and Zhang Man played at the level she ¡°should¡± after a period of remedial classes. After the results came out, her physics score was much better than when she first started school, but it was just barely above the passing line, and her overall score was in the middle and lower half of the class.


    It¡¯s actually much better compared to the previous life this time.


    Zhang Man carefully planned the future in her mind.


    After the Physics Competition, Li Wei is bound to follow this path. In his previous life, he won a national gold medal in his 2nd year of high school. He did not continue his senior year as usual, but entered B University directly at the end of his sophomore year.


    With Zhang Man¡¯s grades, if she takes the ordinary college entrance exam route, she will never get into B University, and her terrible chemistry and biology will not change because just because she is reborn.


    But she has the advantage of having been a high school physics teacher for so many years and learned mechanics, thermodynamics and electromagnetism in college within the context of high school competitions, so her physics is definitely better than that of high school students her age by a wide margin.


    So it seems that the only way is to take part in a physics competition, just like Li Wei. She was very familiar with secondary school physics competitions, and in her previous life she had selected and led a group of top students from each class to participate in competition exams.


    The high school physics competition is divided into three stages, preliminaries, semi-finals, and national finals. The preliminaries are held every year in early September, and the questions are basically the same as those in the entrance examination, with only a very small part of the questions exceeding the standard, and the difficulty is roughly the same as the most difficult questions in the entrance examination. After passing the preliminaries, there will be semi-finals in early October, with only one month in between. The difficulty of the questions in the semi-finals is not comparable to that of the preliminaries.


    The top fifty students ranked in the province will be awarded with first prize, and they will have a high possibility to get the qualification of independent admission of major universities. Furthermore, if you can reach the top ten in the province in the semi-finals and join the provincial team, you will be able to get the independent admission qualification of Q University and B University.


    After joining the provincial team comes the national finals in early November, which is also what Li Wei participated in his previous life in his sophomore year.


    In his previous life, he easily took the national gold medal, and in his sophomore year he was guaranteed a place in the physics department of the B University. She, on the other hand, transferred to H City, and because of family matters and a series of life torments, her grades became more and more ordinary, and eventually made it to the first grade.


    It is here that the fates of the two begin to differ from each other.


    But no matter what, in this life, she wants to be by his side all the time.


    ¡­


    After the evening study session, Zhang Man walked alone on the way home.


    The November night wind is still with a little bit of sluggish strength, the ground full of dead yellow leaves were swept up high in the air, some of it even flew to the eaves of the houses on both sides.


    The road from the school to her house is a bit remote, and the street lights on the street have broken down in the last month, making it extremely dim. The streetlight blurred the road and cast a column of light in the air, and in that column of light, the tiny fragments of fallen leaves fluttered with the autumn wind.


    The alley was empty, except for the leaves being blown by the wind. Along with the ¡°rustling¡± sound, there was only the sound of her own footsteps, and the silence was a little eerie.


    Zhang Man, of course, is not a little girl. She is used to walking alone and isn¡¯t afraid.


    But today there was a change of heart.


    Right after she walked around the corner of the alley, she was blocked at the corner under a telephone pole.


    In front of her were several boys wearing the same school uniform as her. The one in the lead is not bad looking, but looks sleazy. He had a cigarette in his mouth, a yellow hair perm, and black stud earrings on one ear.


    The collar of his school uniform was cut in a circle to reveal a piece of his collarbone, which is not too cold in this weather.


    Zhang Man noticed that the piece of his right clavicle was also tattooed with an exaggerated totem tattoo.


    Behind the boy with the earrings were three other people, all dressed similarly, supposedly from the school¡¯s delinquent youth group.


    She didn¡¯t say anything, because the other party would definitely explain the reason for coming since they stopped her.


    Sure enough, a few people quietly confronted each other for a while, the boy with the earrings smiled.


    ¡°Damn, this girl has guts to listen to us. Laozi was initially worried about scaring you till you pee your pants. As expected of the newly elected school flower of the First High School, Laozi likes it.¡±


    Zhang Man listened to his mouth full of profanity and frowned with dissatisfaction. If this were the previous world, this kind of problem students would have been pulled by her to the office for a cup of tea.


    The boy with the earrings saw that she still did not speak and spat the cigarette in his mouth to the ground and crushed it with the tip of his shoe: ¡°Oi! School flower, did you not receive the love letter I wrote to you? Why didn¡¯t you reply? You¡¯re looking down on me, huh?¡±


    After receiving the love letters, Zhang Man simply did not open them and threw them away. Where can she have the time to notice whether there is this person or not in that pile?


    She had a bit of a headache; why had she even attracted such a person in the first place?


    Seeing that she seemed to be thinking, the earring boy pointed at himself and said word for word: ¡°Remember, Laozi¡¯s name is Yan Hui, and if you don¡¯t give me an answer today, don¡¯t even think about leaving this alley.¡±


    Yan Hui? How does this name sound familiar?


    Zhang Man suddenly remembered that in the previous life, there seems to be such a character, and finally because of sexual harassment against girls, was expelled from school.


    She tightened her grip on her books and bag straps and took a quiet step back.


    Such students are the most daring; they can do anything they want. Moreover, this road is usually quiet; no one will pass by them at all.


    Her heart was pounding, a thin cold sweat broke out at the corners of her forehead, and she began to panic.


    She is no longer the high school teacher whose students had to behave when they saw her in her previous life, but a most common 16 year old girl, if they really wanted to do something, she would not be able to resist.


    The boy with the earrings watched her back away and snickered as he walked up and lifted Zhang Man¡¯s chin. He came up to her with eyes teasingly fixed on her.


    ¡°What? You¡¯re afraid?¡±


    As he spoke, hot air sprayed onto her cheeks, giving her goosebumps.


    He pinched her chin painfully; Zhang Man tilted her eyes away, not daring to meet his eyes. He was too close to her, and Zhang Man clearly smelled a pungent smell of smoke and sweat on his body.


    She felt some obvious discomfort in her stomach, and it turned out that the closeness of a boy other than Li Wei would make her gag so much.


    Being so close, the young girl¡¯s skin is not the least bit flawed. A beautiful jade is still a beautiful jade when examined in a magnified way.


    The boy with the earrings became more and more excited, letting go of her hand: ¡°Just one word, be Laozi¡¯s girlfriend. Yes or no?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    From the quiet alley around the corner came a low, hoarse voice, like an evil spirit from hell, cold and frightening.

 CH 23

    ¡°No.¡±


    From the quiet alley around the corner came a low, hoarse voice, like an evil spirit from hell, cold and frightening.


    With the sudden reply, several people present were stunned.


    Zhang Man heard the familiar voice and turned back in shock.


    Under the dim street light filled with yellow leaves, the youth came from a short distance and the sound of his footsteps was clear and strong.


    He put away the careless tone and his temperament suddenly changed, like a different person with a sinister and cold aura.


    He took a step to her side and took her hand in his, staggering his body to block her and shield her behind him.


    Zhang Man tensely held his hand in return. The palms of her hands have long been sweaty and at present, held by his dry and warm hands, the tension was reduced by a lot with his presence.


    She tilted her head to look at the side of his face, the youth¡¯s face was hidden in the darkness of the night, and it was impossible to see his expression. But the mere sound of his voice just now made her heart tremble.


    He¡¯s angry.


    When the unruly boys saw someone coming to fight, they gathered around aggressively and blocked the corner tightly with two people.


    The young man with the earrings in the lead recognized Li Wei and snickered loudly, ¡°Oh! isn¡¯t this student Li Wei from Class 1? Our school¡¯s celebrity! A crazy person like you wants to steal a woman from Laozi? For what? You want to take her home and hang her by the neck?¡±


    After he finished, he laughed sarcastically, and even a few other delinquent boys behind him laughed with him, as if they had heard the funniest joke.


    In their view, although Li Wei is tall and sturdy, they still have four people. Moreover, in terms of fighting, not anyone can do it. Compared to them, he is a good student and a nerd who reads books in school every day, how can he be more ruthless than them?


    As for the claim that he was crazy, they were even less afraid. So what if he¡¯s crazy, does he still want to find a rope to hang them all on the clothesline?


    Seeing that both of them were silent, the boy with the earrings thought they were afraid, so he continued to provoke, his tone becoming more and more arrogant: ¡°I advise you kid to mind your own business, hurry up and leave! Don¡¯t prevent me from enjoying my woman properly!¡±


    He laughed again and added in a long drawn out tone, ¡°Don¡¯t blame me for not reminding you that it¡¯s not appropriate for young children.¡±


    Zhang Man nervously reached out to hold Li Wei¡¯s arm as she noticed that after hearing those words, the youth tightened his grip on her hand so hard that she nearly screamed out in pain. The veins at the corners of his forehead began to bulge, and his entire aura became more and more ruthless.


    Just like when he stopped her in front of the school in the previous life, he became a sinister lone wolf in this moment, making people shudder.


    The heart began to beat violently as Zhang Man panicked.


    ¡­What to do? He seemed a little out of control.


    For some reason, even though it was clear that there were four people on the other side, when she saw him like this, the panic she felt was not at all due to the fear that the other side would hurt them.


    Just then, her premonition came true.


    The youth quickly ripped her hand away and without saying a word took something and smashed it hard into the face of the boy with earrings, resulting in a muffled sound.


    The ruthlessness and lack of hesitation in that moment made Zhang Man unable to stop herself from letting out a shriek.


    When she came back to her senses, the boy with the earrings wailed miserably as if he had torn his throat and his head riddled with blood tore a gaping hole in the dark.


    The blood from the corner of his forehead gushed out wildly, dripping on the ground with a ¡°tick-tock, tick-tock¡° sound, giving people the chills in the quiet empty alley.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart thumped and blood rushed to her head, the uncontrollable fear made her body shiver, and there was only one thought in her heart¡ªrun.


    So she took advantage while the other delinquents had not yet reacted, pulling Li Wei¡¯s hand and began to run frantically away, as though there were evil spirits chasing behind her.


    She pulled him into a vigorous run through the streets until she reached the main road far from that alley where she could see the hustle and bustle of people and cars, and only after confirming that they could not possibly catch up again did Zhang Man dare to stop.


    She panted and leaned against the glass wall of a convenience store, her legs were still trembling from the previous tension, and when she closed her eyes, all she could think of was that image ¡ª the boy with the earrings screaming and reaching out to cover the corner of his forehead with blood flowing from his fingers, staining half of his face.


    She couldn¡¯t stop shaking, and the fear of the aftermath followed by more profound fear and despair came over her.


    Zhang Man thought of the youth¡¯s determination and unhesitating ruthlessness, and sadly squatted down. Her heart felt like it was blocked with a big stone, and she couldn¡¯t stop herself from crying out in pain.


    Why did this happen? Why is he still out of control because of her, even worse than in his previous life?


    It is clear that she has been so careful all this time, carefully restraining her feelings for him even if she wants to be close to him and be by his side, she had to think of all kinds of excuses for fear of causing harm to his mind.


    She didn¡¯t want him to be like this, she just wanted him to be well and not get involved with these dark paranoid things for the rest of his life. He has such clean and good-looking hands, and he is going to derive the most cutting-edge breakthroughs in theoretical physics in the future, so how can he beat people up for her?


    She clearly only wanted him to live in the sun forever, but once again, he lost his mind because of her.


    Zhang Man could not help but start a strong self-doubt, if Li Wei never met her, would it be better? She caused him so much heartbreak in his previous life, and in this life she caused him to go crazy and out of control once again.


    What if something happens to that person just now, what will he do?


    She cried so hard she couldn¡¯t catch her breath, thinking in despair that it was all over.


    ¡°Zhang Man¡­ please don¡¯t cry.¡±


    The youth¡¯s eyes, which had been red, along with the blood boiling in his body, gradually calmed down after seeing her breaking down and crying in front of him.


    The sanity that was completely lost earlier began to return.


    This was the second time she cried in front of him. She crouched on the floor, hugging herself, choking with suppressed sobs as her shoulders trembled in response, her tiny body casting a single shadow on the floor tiles next to her.


    But unlike last time, he could see that this time she was really upset.


    Although he does not know why she is sad, it seems that when she is sad, he will also follow.


    His heart felt like it was being pinched, and from earlier to now, it still hurts so much. After the pain came a huge panic, in case¡­ in case he didn¡¯t show up today, she¡­


    Seeing her surrounded by several people, her face was white and shaking with fear as she took a step backwards and how closely the man cupped her chin without pity, he could no longer remember what he was feeling just then.


    He just felt his whole body¡¯s sanity leave him, his heart was racing, his blood was boiling, and his world seemed to turn black at that very moment.


    It was a bit like the feeling of having his favorite race car trampled when he was a kid. No, it was a million times worse than that, to the point where he couldn¡¯t control himself anymore.


    There was a fierce beast in his heart roaring and screaming, wanting to tear that group apart.


    And indeed, he did.


    ¡ªHe picked the sharpest and strongest stone on the ground before approaching them, striking it extremely hard and without mercy.


    She was so upset¡­ Did the way he just looked scare her?


    ¡°No, Zhang Man, don¡¯t cry. This is all my fault¡­ it¡¯s all my fault.¡±


    The youth squatted down beside her, patting her back one by one, soothing her hands and feet.


    For the first time, he completely lost his composure in front of her.


    The collapse and despair in Zhang Man¡¯s heart was like a large reservoir intercepted by a giant dam. Being comforted by his low voice at this moment, all of her emotions found a breakthrough, rushing through the dam and pouring down.


    She threw herself on him and hugged him tightly, and buried her face in his chest, crying hard.


    ¡­


    That night, Zhang Man huddled under the covers and nervously looked up the contents concerning juvenile delinquency, negligent assault, excessive defense, and so on. She also occasionally had to send a text message to Li Wei to confirm whether he was at home or not, fearing that he would be taken away by the police without her knowledge.


    The next day, she arrived at school with two large dark circles under her eyes and began asking around for news of Yan Hui.


    Yan Hui is in the third year of high school. He doesn¡¯t usually study, and is considered as a school bully, and many people know him.


    A few people in Chen Feier¡¯s class are quite close to him. From what she said, Yan Hui seems to have fought with someone outside yesterday and apparently got disfigured, and is still lying in the hospital today, taking time off from school.


    But there is no mention of Li Wei.


    When Zhang Man heard this, she breathed a slight sigh of relief. It seems that he did not call the police, nor did he say to others who beat him up. Perhaps for a delinquent like him, being beaten up is a difficult thing to talk about, so he didn¡¯t say it out loud.


    She calmed down and thought for a long time, her heart gradually settling down. This matter is Yan Hui¡¯s fault in the first place and Li Wei at best defended her in self-defense. Furthermore, as a delinquent teenager with a full set of previous convictions, Zhang Man estimated that Yan Hui did not have the courage to go to the school to sue.


    Back in the classroom, the youth sat quietly reading a book, seemingly unaffected by the incident.


    Zhang Man is not angry.


    With a rather serious tone, she said, ¡°Li Wei, promise me that in the future, when you encounter this kind of thing, don¡¯t fight with others for me.¡±


    The youth was silent and continued to flip through the book.


    Zhang Man got anxious and pulled his sleeve: ¡°Did you hear what I said?¡±


    Only then did he put down the book in his hand, turn around and shake his head.


    Zhang Man thought he didn¡¯t hear her, so she repeated: ¡°I said, in the future, when you encounter this kind of thing don¡¯t mind me, don¡¯t go up and fight by yourself, you hear?¡±


    The youth still shook his head, as stubborn as can be.


    Only then did Zhang Man realize that by shaking his head he meant that he did not want to.


    He looked into her eyes with an irrefutable determination in them.


    ¡ª¡±They said they were going to bully you.¡±


    Zhang Man slightly stunned, saw his serious look and a sour and warm feeling spread up, her heart suddenly became a soft mess.


    Yes. He was just trying to protect her. Seeing her being bullied, how could he stay out of the way?


    Zhang Man asked herself, if she saw him being bullied, there is no way she could be calm. For instance, that time Liu Chang accidentally hit him (LW), her first reaction is to viciously stomp on his (LC) two feet.


    To put things in another¡¯s perspective, perhaps she was making it difficult for him.


    She sighed and gave in first, ¡°Okay, then I promise that I will never encounter such a thing again.¡±


    In the future she must be careful and cautious. She would rather take a long detour than go down that road again.


    After the whole person is relaxed, she has the energy to think about other things.


    ¡°Wait¡­ Li Wei, how did you know I was there yesterday?¡±


    The youth took a moment before answering, ¡°You didn¡¯t get your exercise set. I called you and you didn¡¯t answer.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart melted like a soft candy, she couldn¡¯t control her smile and poked his arm: ¡°So you went in the direction of my house? You¡¯re worried about me? Eh? How did you know which direction my house was going?¡±


    The youth spoke briefly, without much expression: ¡°I saw you go over there.¡±


    ¡°So¡­what did you hit him with yesterday?¡±


    ¡°A stone picked up on the road.¡±


    Afterwards, no matter what Zhang Man asked, the youth ignored her.


    Zhang Man received a cold shoulder, so she stopped talking and plopped down on the table to think about yesterday¡¯s events.


    Thinking about it, her cheeks began to get slightly hot.


    She took him by the hand yesterday and ran through street after street. And in the end, she hugged him while crying for what seemed like a long, long time.


    She really didn¡¯t think much about it before, and she was so upset that she just wanted to vent her feelings, completely without any crooked thoughts. However, when she recalled it now, she still blushed.


    Her heart sank at that time, but then her worries dissolved into a puddle of water when he came close and stayed by her side. He didn¡¯t push her away and patted her back one by one, patiently coaxing her with care.


    Such a gentle voice can soothe all her sadness and grievances.


    Zhang Man thought, ¡®how could the words be so different when they were obviously spoken by the same person?¡¯


    When he said ¡®no¡¯ in the alley, it was like an evil spirit that had come up from hell. But later he said it again, then crouched on the ground and hugged her, coaxing her, so softly and gently, like a feather.


    ¡ªHe actually likes her, right? Even though he doesn¡¯t even realize it himself.


    She slumped into the crook of her arm and the corner of her mouth curved gradually.


    If that¡¯s the case, she¡¯ll just wait patiently for him to find out himself.


    Let him gradually rely on her, trust her, and always think of her. Only then will he be able to stop thinking about those illusory relatives and friends, and truly live in this troubled world, to experience the joy, beauty and magnificence of life on earth.


    ¡­


    After that day, Li Wei began to wait for the bus at the bus stop next to Zhang Man¡¯s house every day, even though there¡¯s a bus stop right in front of the school that goes straight to his house.


    Zhang Man knew that he was afraid that she would meet someone like Yan Hui again, so he wanted to accompany her back.


    But he did not say it, so she did not expose it. Naturally, she was on cloud nine.


    Things are going better than she expected.


    Regarding Li Wei¡¯s delusion, she now knows two people. The first one is his mother, Lin Hui, and the other is his friend, Nick. Zhang Man is not sure if there is still a third person, but at the moment these two are clearly divided.


    Lin Hui often appears when Li Wei suffers some setbacks in life or when he feels very lonely and self-absorbed while Nick, on the other hand, is when he is alone and facing difficult problems in his studies and has no one to discuss them with.


    Now, she could be sure that he had gradually accepted her in his heart. And all she can do now is to stay quietly with him and fill his life as much as possible to alleviate the delusional symptoms.


    The two walked to the intersection below Zhang Man¡¯s house, and the youth nodded at her as usual, signaling that he was going to the station.


    But today Zhang Man also does not know what happened to her, she just felt like pulling him along to talk for a while longer.


    ¡°Li Wei, are you scared to be home alone at night? Your house is so big after all.¡±


    The youth gave her a look, his eyes a little strange: ¡°Not afraid.¡±


    Zhang Man changed the subject again: ¡°Uh¡­ then have you ever learned to draw before?¡±


    The roses he drew for her last time on the beach were so well drawn; it was almost like they were real.


    ¡°¡­No, I drew it myself for fun. I wasn¡¯t able to borrow any after-high school physics books when I was in the orphanage before.¡±


    Zhang Man struggled to keep up with his thoughts. In other words, he couldn¡¯t borrow the ¡°Advanced¡± Physics books after he finished the high school versions, so he would just draw and play by himself when he was bored?


    She was a little amused and sour inside.


    After his father¡¯s death, Li Wei was sent to an orphanage in N City, and stayed there for seven years before coming out to live independently in his junior year. The reason he was feared and ostracized was not only because of his father¡¯s schizophrenia, but also because he had gone to the psychiatric hospital for a checkup before entering the orphanage.


    The diagnosis given by the doctor at that time was that he had genetic brain disorder, or schizophrenia, at a young age. On what basis was the diagnosis made, no one knows.


    And it was his biological grandfather who took him for this psychological evaluation and threw him in the orphanage after getting the diagnosis.


    Li Wei¡¯s grandfather was also a businessman in N City, he married 3 times and his first wife, Li Wei¡¯s own grandmother, had a mental illness. Their family has numerous children and grandchildren, all of whom are excellent and normal, not lacking one of him.


    He donated some money to the orphanage, shoved him in, and never cared about him again.


    She heard that in the previous life, after Li Wei became a professor at Princeton University, his grandfather once wanted to recognize him back, but Li Wei never agreed to do so even before he committed suicide.


    Zhang Man bit her lip, and scratched the palm of her hand with her fingernails in her school uniform jacket.


    She could hardly imagine his childhood.


    Such a small child suddenly lost his father, and was heartlessly abandoned by his only relative. When he was still innocent and ignorant, facing those cold instruments and those strange doctors who asked him over and over again, how scared he must have been in his heart?


    It must be scary, and it will certainly make one cry, right?


    Unlike now, whether he is alone or being ostracized, he is so indifferent.


    Boys of that age were supposed to be the most playful, acting like crybabies at every turn.


    She remembers that in her previous life, before she was reborn, Chen Feier¡¯s son was only seven years old, the same age as Li Wei at that time. He likes to play with all kinds of toys and once Zhang Man and Chen Feier took him to the mall and saw a whole set of Transformers, he cried and refused to leave the floor until he got one. Chen Feier was helpless, so she bought it for him in the end.


    A little boy holding a big Transformer with a snot bubble while grinning¡ª Zhang Man remembers him until now.


    Every child is like this. With their mother¡¯s pampering, only then can they be proud and arrogant.


    Unlike him (LW) who is used to being alone since childhood, he has no choice but to be brave since no one will be there for him, no matter how hard he cries.


    Zhang Man felt so suffocated in her heart, but she wanted to know more, more about his childhood.


    ¡°Li Wei, is the orphanage you were in as a child a good environment? Are there lots of children with you?¡±


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s not bad. It¡¯s very crowded.¡±


    The youth lowered his eyes; yes, there are many children of all ages in there.


    Those younger than him are chasing his ass and calling him ¡°psycho¡± while those older than him are taking the lead in ostracizing him and wanting to keep stimulating him to see how crazy he really is.


    The orphanage is managed in a very chaotic manner. All of them are a group of unwanted children so the staff doesn¡¯t really care about the children. Since their families don¡¯t care, why should they? Thus, most of the managers are turning a blind eye regarding conflicts among the children.


    There¡¯s no need for her to know about this.


    For this girl, he wants her to be carefree every day; he can¡¯t let her be tainted by his darkness even a bit.


    ¡­


    When she got home, Chen Feier gave her a call.


    ¡°Man Man, I heard people say that the person who beat Yan Hui last month seems to be Li Wei¡­ last time you asked me about Yan Hui, you wouldn¡¯t have known about it, right? I heard that Yan Hui was beaten badly. He suffered a cerebral concussion, his forehead broke a large piece and his face was disfigured completely. Currently, he¡¯s still in hospital.¡±


    ¡°I heard them say it started because Yan Hui wanted to harass a girl in our school, Man Man, that girl wouldn¡¯t be you, right?¡±


    Zhang Man frowned, unexpectedly this matter still spread.


    She reassured Chen Feier a few times and hung up the phone.


    Yan Hui did not say this matter to the public before, so how come there are now rumors coming out? After this incident, I¡¯m afraid that the students in the school have a worse impression of Li Wei.


    When she opened the 1st High School posting, she saw several posts related to this matter.


    ¡¾lz¡¿£ºHave you heard, our senior bully Yan Hui was beaten last month and was hospitalized for more than a week and is still recuperating from it. Do you want to know who did it?


    ¡¾I want to be quiet¡¿£ºHoly shit! Who is so cruel, ah? Tsk, no wonder the school has cleared up a lot recently.


    ¡¾Slippery¡¿: Heh¡­


    ¡¾lz¡¿£ºIt was accidentally revealed by the few punks under Yan Hui¡¯s hand, and this information is absolutely reliable. The person who hit him was Li Wei, a student in Class 1, which is¡­ you know¡­ the one *ahem¡­


    ¡¾Slippery¡¿£º Crap, isn¡¯t that like fighting the devil himself? ¡­ Didn¡¯t Li Wei supposedly have that? What? Did he have a seizure?


    ¡¾lz¡¿£ºAnyway, it was terrible! Those few punks were frightened and confused, saying that Yan Hui took a look at a girl at that time and was blocking the person¡¯s way to have a chat. The result is that Li Wei came up without saying a word and hit him on the head with a stone, directly on his face and blood was gushing out. They say that Li Wei¡¯s expression at the time was absolutely crazy.


    ¡¾Fantastic animals where¡¿£ºA face covered in blood¡­ is also too scary, so scary!


    ¡¾Slippery¡¿£ºIt is a bit scary, but I stand with Li Wei this time. Even if he is crazy, at least he gave us a breath of air, right? I heard that Yan Hui is hanging out in the road and there have been several such incidents before, but the school simply does not care.


    ¡¾Who took my 5-3¡¿£ºNo wonder Yan Hui didn¡¯t come to class these days. The person above me, I too stand with Li Wei this time. What is wrong with schizophrenia , at least his three views are all positive!


    ¡¾Banana milkshake¡¿£ºTo the persons above, be careful with your words. Don¡¯t think the devil is an angel just because he did a good thing. You should stay away from him, or the next time it¡¯s you who will be hit by a brick.


    ¡­


    Although there are still many people who are afraid of Li Wei¡¯s madness, there are also a small number of comments related to Li Wei that are positive. After all, there are many people who were bullied by Yan Hui before. Surprisingly, the occurrence of this incident has made Li Wei¡¯s reputation in the school a little better than before.


    She was a little happy in her heart; he was already a very good and nice person, so why should he be hated because of something innate? They don¡¯t know him, that¡¯s why they are afraid of him. If they can get a little bit closer to him, they can find out how good he is.


    Zhang Man closed the posting and sent a text message to Li Wei.


    ¡¾Are you home yet¡¿


    It didn¡¯t take him long to send one back.


    ¡¾En.¡¿


    Zhang Man looked at the short message he sent, and was a little disappointed with the small number of characters, so she asked again.


    ¡¾Oh so what are you doing right now¡¿


    In which the youth quickly replied: ¡¾Reading a book.¡¿


    He would punctuate even the shortest sentences with regularity, as archaic as an old man who was out of touch with the times.


    Zhang Man couldn¡¯t help but let out a light laugh. He usually doesn¡¯t pay much attention to people, but he¡¯s actually really disciplined and very much like a good traditional student. He obviously chose to compete, but he still wrote his homework in all subjects, wore a school uniform every day to school, and was not late or leaving early.


    But when he loses control, it¡¯s like he¡¯s a different person.


    Zhang Man was lying on her bed, biting the joint of her index finger, and suddenly remembered that after that incident, she had been on edge and had not properly thanked him yet.


    If he hadn¡¯t come to her defense that day, she might really have been finished.


    Zhang Man picked up her phone again, crossed to the dialog box with him, and typed out word by word: ¡¾Li Wei, thank you.¡¿


    She also followed his example and solemnly added punctuation.


    This time the youth took a long time to reply, but it was still the same word.


    ¡¾En.¡¿

 CH 24

    Over November, the fall of N City passed so quietly that the deciduous trees on both sides of the road were completely bare. The air is dry and cold as the temperature plummets, making it the most difficult season of the year.


    More than three months have passed since Zhang Man was reborn.


    In early December, she took the monthly exams a lot more seriously. The physics results of this and several subsequent exams are very important, and the class teacher will select the students who will participate in the physics competition in the sophomore year.


    Zhang Man¡¯s calculations are clear. Li Wei has given her more than three months of remedial classes, and it is only natural that she has made greater progress than before, which will not arouse his suspicion.


    So she wrote with a free hand, and did everything except for the last problem, which was a bit more complicated and was left blank.


    Sure enough, after the results came out, she caused a small stir in the class. She was a freshman who failed the physics test before, surprisingly got more than 100 on a paper with a score of 120. Even the class teacher, Liu Zhijun, paid attention to her and took the initiative to call her to the office to praise and encourage her.


    Zhang Man came back from the office and joyfully put the physics paper on the youth¡¯s desk, holding her cheeks with both hands while looking at him with two shining eyes, expecting to get his praise.


    The youth took the paper and looked at the areas where she missed a few marks, and his good-looking brow furrowed gently.


    ¡°The last question was similar to the one we did in the last makeup class, but you got it wrong.¡±


    Zhang Man yanked over the test paper to have a good look at it. It was really the same question that was done last time.


    Oh no! She didn¡¯t pay any attention to what the last question was during the exam and assumed it must be a very complicated problem, so she just left it blank.


    Thinking on her feet, she let out a smile and forced an explanation, ¡°I¡¯m still not skilled enough. I thought the topic looked familiar at the time, but I just couldn¡¯t remember how to do it.¡±


    The youth nodded and stopped giving her a hard time.


    Zhang Man changed the subject: ¡°Li Wei, are you going to participate in the physics competition afterwards? Do you think I have learned well? Would it be good for me to go with you? I recently felt that physics is quite fun.¡±


    Only then did the youth give her a serious look, like he was assessing whether she was serious or not.


    Zhang Man immediately sat upright, and folded her hands in a disciplined manner, looking very sincere: ¡°I¡¯m serious about this, look, my total score in our class is the bottom of the barrel. If I take the college entrance exam, I, most likely, will get a higher chance of getting admitted, if I compete.¡±


    The youth heard the words and said softly, ¡°It will be very tiring.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not afraid of that, next time I go to your house, why don¡¯t you teach me the competition questions? I¡¯ve checked it all out, the high school competition ranges from college mechanics, electromagnetism and thermodynamics. We¡¯ll start with college mechanics, okay?¡±


    The youth pondered for a while, probably thinking about the feasibility of this matter, and nodded half-heartedly, ¡°Good.¡±


    ***


    When she returned back that day, Zhang Man found that Zhang Huifang was not at home again, and there was a midnight snack for her on the table, with a note on it telling her to go to bed early.


    She has been coming home late more and more lately.


    Zhang Man had doubts in her heart, she wouldn¡¯t already know Zheng Zineng right?


    She panicked and calmed herself down again. While sitting down to eat a late night snack, she was thinking carefully about some points in her previous life.


    She still remembers that in her previous life, Zhang Huifang brought Zheng Zineng home for the first time in the following year in January, during a winter with heavy snow. At that time, she had fallen out with Li Wei and was depressed all day. She was not interested in her studies and did not care about Zhang Huifang¡¯s behavior.


    But why did it ring a bell that day?


    Ah¡­ She recalled that Zheng Zineng brought a lot of things to the house when he came, and bought Zhang Man a new cell phone.


    Zhang Man remembered that compared to other middle-aged men with large bellies, he was tall and looked extraordinarily elegant and handsome. When the two just entered the door covered with snow, Zheng Zineng could not care about himself and raised his hand first to carefully pat down the snow on Zhang Huifang¡¯s head and shoulders, his movements were very gentle.


    That gesture made Zhang Man recognize him invisibly in her heart, and she felt at that time that a person so gentle was at least a good person.


    But she didn¡¯t expect that his looks were so deceptive that he not only fooled Zhang Huifang, but also herself. He was the kind of guy that would pretend to be a gentleman, but in fact he was a complete piece of trash.


    ***


    This means that it is now December, and Zhang Huifang is likely to have met Zheng Zineng, and is probably in the early stages of developing their relationship.


    Zhang Man¡¯s nails gouged hard at the palm of her hand. It seems that this time she has to pay attention to how to break them up.


    This evening Zhang Huifang did not return until eleven o¡¯clock, looking slightly drunk. After taking off her boots she went inside, humming a little tune happily as she entered the door. Meanwhile, Zhang Man was sitting on the sofa watching TV, waiting for the moment she entered the door to carefully observe her demeanor.


    Seems like her hunch was right¡­The happiness and tenderness on Zhang Huifang¡¯s face could not be fooled, and in her previous life when she brought Zheng Zineng home, her face at that time also had such expression.


    ¡°Zhang Man? Why are you still awake?¡±


    She took off her coat and hung it behind the door, craning her neck to look at the table.


    ¡°Finished your midnight snack? Be good, you have to get up early for class tomorrow, go to sleep.¡±


    She was in a good mood and her tone of voice was much softer towards her.


    Zhang Huifang beckoned her into the room, and she herself started making calls, speaking quietly and softly on the phone.


    ***


    The next day, when Zhang Man went to school, she told Li Wei not to wait for her because she has something else to do on Saturday and can¡¯t go to his house for tutoring.


    The youth stopped the pen in his hand, his voice a little hesitant: ¡°¡­sick again?¡±


    She and his keen logic can¡¯t seem to coexist.


    Zhang Man was amused by him and had a good laugh: ¡°How can anyone make an appointment to get sick? I really have something to do¡­ it¡¯s a family matter.¡±


    The youth nodded and asked no more questions.


    ¡ª


    On Saturday, Zhang Man spent the day at home waiting for Zhang Huifang to leave the house, but never saw her leave, so she was a bit confused.


    But thinking about it, most of their dates were in the evening, so she waited patiently until evening again.


    About seven o¡¯clock, Zhang Man first told Zhang Huifang that she was going shopping with Chen Feier, and went downstairs to a cafe in front of her house. She ordered a latte and sat by the window, wearing a cap. The floor-to-ceiling glass window of the cafe is right in front of their unit, so they can clearly see the heads of the residents coming in and out.


    Sure enough, about half an hour or so later, Zhang Huifang went out. She was wearing very thick smoky makeup and was dressed quite exquisitely and attentively. A fitted black tweed blazer with a belt of the same color was worn for a clean and crisp look. The hemline reveals the camel-colored fishtail tight sweater dress inside, and the feet are also stepping on the ten centimeter high heels that they normally don¡¯t wear.


    ¡ªIn a crowd of down jackets and big cotton coats in winter, she looks really slender and beautiful.


    While walking, she was calling someone on the phone, as if she was talking about where to meet.


    Seeing this, Zhang Man walked out of the cafe and followed her, watching her reach out and stop a cab.


    Zhang Man immediately got into the next car.


    ¡°Master, please follow that car in front of you.¡±


    When she arrived at the place, Zhang Man realized that Zhang Huifang had gone to a ¡®certain¡¯ bar in N City, not that kind of literary bar, but a proper nightclub with bouncers around. She also saw from afar how Zhang Huifang took the arm of a man at the entrance and walked into the bar.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart sank.


    Although she couldn¡¯t see the face, but the height, back and that pretentious walking posture was something she could never forget, it was definitely Zheng Zineng.


    She followed inside, but was soon blocked by a bouncer at the door.


    ¡°Little girl, please show your ID card. Minors can¡¯t go in.¡±


    Minors cannot enter the bar?


    This was a fact that she doesn¡¯t really know. When she was a high school teacher in her previous life, she also went to the bar to catch some students who had skipped class to go clubbing.


    But no matter what Zhang Man said, the bouncers did not give access so she had to give up.


    The early winter in N City is very cold, not because of the low temperature, but due to the wind that is blowing her cheeks with the dry, icy breeze from the sea.


    Seaside cities are like this, the temperature difference between day and night is great, and the sea breeze at night can¡¯t be carried by anyone.


    Zhang Man stood still at the entrance despite the wind. It¡¯s only eight o¡¯clock now, and there aren¡¯t many people in the bar yet, so she sat on the back door steps hoping to take advantage of the chaos and mix in when there are more people later on.


    ***


    Li Wei sat in his study, finished reading the last page of the fourth section of Guangxiang, stood up and went to the dining room to pour himself a glass of water. He never had the habit of boiling water, even in winter and always bought purified water to put in the refrigerator. The moment he opened the refrigerator door, the coldness came out and made him shiver.


    He suddenly felt very empty at home.


    She was away all day today, so he was at home by himself for the day and was surprisingly a little uncomfortable.


    It seems like he hasn¡¯t been home alone for so long since she started coming to his house on time every week to make up for her lessons and cook for him.


    And, she didn¡¯t send him a text today.


    He set his phone to vibrate and put it in his pajama breast pocket, but it remained untouched all day.


    The youth took out a bottle of water, unscrewed the cap with his slender fingers holding it and tilted his head to take a sip.


    He felt that it was necessary to ask her if she was coming tomorrow.


    Zhang Man is shivering as she sits at the door, when she suddenly receives a call from Li Wei.


    She wanted to ask him what was up, but the signal wasn¡¯t very good in front of the bar, and there seemed to be a static noise coming from her phone, so she stood up and walked a little further away.


    The youth heard a very noisy car honking on her side, and the bustling sound of people outside. He frowned and raised his left hand to glance at his watch, it was past eight o¡¯clock.


    In his head, he suddenly thought of her being blocked at the corner of the alley before and his heart suddenly tightened at that moment. The whole person stood up from his seat and took two steps forward anxiously, his voice quavering: ¡°Zhang Man, where are you?¡±


    Zhang Man reached out her hand from the sleeve to hold the phone, and a moment later became red from the cold. Her skin was exposed to the cold air, and there were tiny-like needles sticking out: ¡°I¡¯m outside, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    When the youth heard her voice, his squeezed palm quietly loosened: ¡°Nothing.¡±


    Zhang Man looked at the entrance of the bar: ¡°Hey, Li Wei? Let me ask you, do you know how a minor can enter a nightclub in N City? That bar is called ¡°Ye Yu¡±, not far from your home.¡±


    ¡°What are you doing there?¡± His tone was a little stern.


    ¡°I had to go in for something, but the bouncer at the door just wouldn¡¯t let me in.¡±


    This time the youth was quiet for a while: ¡°You wait for me at the entrance.¡±


    Zhang Man hung up the phone and continued to sit on the steps of the side door of the bar with her arms wrapped around her. The cold air kept her awake, and the whole person shrank into a ball, rubbing her hands together from time to time to keep herself warm.


    Luckily, Li Wei didn¡¯t keep her waiting for long.


    The youth¡¯s slender figure stands out in the crowd as he stands across the street waiting for the traffic light, behind him is the heavy night air and the various colored light strips in front of several bars.


    He was wearing a thick coat with his hands in his pockets, which looked warm, and his brow furrowed gently the moment he saw her, as if he was blaming her for coming out alone at night.


    This street is a famous bar street in N City and every evening, the night life of the city begins.


    There are all kinds of pedestrians in front of the bar, fancy women in fine dresses, young men in suits, and resident singers holding a guitar with a scruffy beard¡­ but the youth in simple clothes was particularly conspicuous among so many people.


    Zhang Man could not help but look stunned.


    She really likes him! Even if she has known him for so long, she still can¡¯t help but blush every time she sees him.


    ¡ª ¡°Come with me.¡±


    The youth crossed the street without saying much, turned towards the main entrance, spoke to the bouncer at the door, and turned back to wave at her.


    Zhang Man then followed him and entered the bar smoothly.


    She was a little puzzled; Li Wei is also a minor who looks no older than her, how come the bouncer didn¡¯t stop him?


    Nevertheless, it is not urgent to dwell on this matter. Zhang Man hastily grabbed Li Wei¡¯s sleeve and hid behind him, tilted her head only to reveal a pair of eyes, looking around for Zhang Huifang¡¯s figure.


    She never came to a nightclub herself in her previous life, except for those times when she caught students, and sure enough¡­It¡¯s very loud here.


    On the stage there is a DJ playing loud rhythmic dance music, the same melody repeating over and over again. The low-frequency music is deafening, the heavy drums make Zhang Man¡¯s eardrums rise, and her heart is starting to feel a little uncomfortable.


    But the restless group of young people in the middle of the dance floor clearly didn¡¯t care.


    For them, as long as there is music, they can start partying.


    Such hustle and bustle can give the illusion that one is not alone. Like alcohol, it numbs the mind so it doesn¡¯t have to think.


    But not everyone danced, and there were many who sat alone or with friends and ordered a few drinks.


    The bar was hot, so the two took off their coats and found a corner booth to sit down.


    Zhang Man hid behind the youth, constantly looking around, and soon found Zhang Huifang and Zheng Zineng sitting very close to each other, talking and laughing as they drank and chatted.


    She watched their actions, although familiar but not too intimate, and speculated that at this time the two were probably still in the ambiguous stage and had not confirmed their relationship.


    So how can you stir up a relationship between two people right at this stage?


    Li Wei discovered that the young girl hid behind him as soon as she entered the bar, constantly poking her head in and frowning with a serious look.


    He followed her gaze and saw a woman dressed in a mature and feminine manner, probably in her early thirties, beautiful to look at.


    Judging by the side face, it seems to be five or six points similar to Zhang Man.


    He wanted to ask her what she was doing here, and when he turned around, the sleeve of his knitted shirt brushed against her face as it peeked out, and the pressure made his gentle face appear deformed for a moment. He remembered that time in the hospital, after the removal of the cast, he once raised his hand to brush the dust off her face, it was smooth and soft to touch.


    The nerves in his fingers on his left hand seem to have a memory and suddenly they are a little numb.


    The young girl grabbed his sleeve and kept staring over that side, her expression was indistinguishable, but her voice was a bit anxious.


    ¡°Li Wei, look over there! That woman in the camel-colored dress is my mom¡­ The one next to her is her new boyfriend, and he¡¯s not a good guy! Can you think of a way to help me break them up?¡±


    She frowned, her mouth slightly puckered, and the flesh on her cheeks followed the movement as she spoke.


    ¡ªseems good to pinch.


    The youth¡¯s eyes darkened slightly, and the knot in his throat rolled up and down a bit.


    ¡°Hey, are you listening to me?¡±


    When Zhang Man saw that he did not answer, she repeated it again.


    The youth then came back to his senses, asked a few careful questions and thought of a solution.


    ***


    Zhang Man listened to Li Wei¡¯s instructions and walked outside the bar to call Zhang Huifang.


    Zhang Huifang was chatting with Zheng Zineng when she felt her phone vibrate and picked it up to see that it was Zhang Man. It was too noisy to answer the phone in the bar, so excused herself to Zheng Zineng and got up to go to the bathroom.


    ¡°Hello, Zhang Man? What¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°Have you seen my physics book? I need it for tomorrow and I can¡¯t find it.¡±


    (She¡¯s calling her mom in an informal way of ¡®you¡¯)


    Zhang Huifang, somewhat puzzled, said, ¡°Don¡¯t you always keep your books by yourself? No, I haven¡¯t seen them, so look around the room properly.¡±


    ¡°Also¡­ where did you put that dress you gave me that¡­ time? I might still have use for it.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s in the left drawer in the lower level of my closet, check it out.¡±


    ¡°¡­I couldn¡¯t find it, did you remember it wrong?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    Zhang Man, as previously agreed, stalled for as long as possible.


    When Zhang Huifang became a bit impatient with her questions, she hung up the phone, snuck in, sat next to Li Wei, and looked in the direction of Zheng Zineng.


    She rubbed her eyes.


    Zheng Zineng actually took advantage of the absence of Zhang Huifang to flirt with a sexy woman dressed flirtatiously. The woman looks pretty, seemingly in her early twenties, with a very good figure. Currently she is laughing and shaking so much while talking, wriggling her body from time to time, even sticking herself to Zheng Zineng¡¯s body.


    Zheng Zineng also did not stay idle; his hand gently wrapped around her waist and gave her his usual gentle smile, with a pair of eyes slightly narrowed under his gold-rimmed glasses.


    It was obvious that the woman who took the initiative to come up was not to be denied.


    Zhang Man secretly shouted in her heart.


    No wonder Li Wei just took his wallet out, it turned out that he hired someone to talk to Zheng Zineng.


    Great! At this point, Zheng Zineng and Zhang Huifang are not yet together. For a man as lecherous as him, he would never care about Zhang Huifang after encountering a younger and prettier woman than her to initiate a hookup.


    Sure enough, Zhang Huifang came back from the bathroom and also saw this scene. She ruffled her long hair, stood in place for a moment in silence and laughed softly. After a few minutes, she walked over without speaking in front of the two.


    The other girl looked at her for a second, but didn¡¯t care in the least, and continued to clink glasses with Zheng Zineng.


    While Zheng Zineng froze at the sight of her, surprisingly, he did not stop flirting with the young woman, pretending not to know her at all; his scum nature was revealed without a doubt.


    Zhang Huifang smiled at the other girl, pulled her away and gracefully raised her glass, splashing a glass of red wine on Zheng Zineng¡¯s disgusting face, then turned around, stepping on the ten centimeter high heels with a flip of her hair, and daintily picked up her bag and headed out of the bar.


    Zhang Man watched with great interest, her heart clapping and shouting. She can barely hold back the smile at the corners of her mouth. With Zhang Huifang¡¯s nature, it is impossible for him to return after such a mess.


    As expected of Zhang Huifang, well done! She held her cheeks, her heart relaxed a lot. She didn¡¯t expect this matter to be solved so easily.


    She didn¡¯t have time to look at Zheng Zineng, who was splashed with red wine and had his mouth open in a state of shock. Instead, she tried to observe Zhang Huifang¡¯s back.


    She walked very steadily, step by step, and did not seem to be sad about it much. Once again, Zhang Man is glad that she found out early, if she really waited for Zhang Huifang to get together with him, and fall deeper, she fears that things will not be so easy in the future.


    Perhaps Zhang Man¡¯s sight is so focused that Zhang Huifang seems to feel something and turns back to look in their direction.


    Zhang Man was caught off guard, and their eyes locked for a second. She was so startled that she hurriedly turned sideways and hugged the youth sitting next to her, hugging him tightly so that her face was buried deep in his arms.


    It¡¯s as though one can hide oneself that way.


    She buried herself nervously in his chest and whispered, ¡°Don¡¯t talk, and check the door to see if my mom has left yet?¡±


    Li Wei froze.


    Unlike that time when she cried in his arms, when he was too busy comforting her to pay much attention. But this time, every nerve in his body was reminding him that she was now in his arms.


    The young girl¡¯s body heat and heartbeat reached his chest unmistakably through the thin knit shirt, and her two hands were around his back, circling him so tightly that there was no gap between them.


    The darkness around him made his senses unusually keen. The bar was so noisy, the dull sound of rhythmic drums and the screaming cheers of young men and women were deafening, yet the youth could clearly hear his own violent heartbeat in this moment.


    ¡°Boom, boom, boom¡­ ¡° His heart beats as fast as the drum beats.


    At this moment, his sense of smell was incredibly sensitive, and he could smell the fresh fragrance of her hair, and the gentle scent of milk on her body.


    Her body was so soft, and she was holding him so tightly against his hard chest that he felt a boiling rush of hot blood go to his head and his scalp began to tingle.


    The nerve in the temple began to beat violently again, but this time it was not restlessness, but a feeling that he could not suppress and describe. It was as if 10,000 ants had crawled over the tip of his heart, gnawing at him, which seemed impossible to relieve without doing something.


    Even the most disciplined people can have evil thoughts.


    So he lifted his hands, one behind her back and one pressing the back of her head, pressing her more tightly against him.


    It wasn¡¯t until he pressed her whole body into his arms and rested his chin gently on the top of her hair that the soul-searching itch in his heart was eased a little.


    The youth¡¯s eyes looked at the empty entrance of the bar, guided by the demon of the devil within, his voice was hoarse as he lied, ¡°Don¡¯t move, she hasn¡¯t left yet.¡±


    ¡ªNaturally like a repeat offender.

 CH 25

    In the crowded bar, colorful, low-lighting lights darted across the dance floor, but beyond the dance floor was a dark, safe environment.


    Bass drums, loud music, wild dance moves, booze¡­ Young men and women enjoy the night¡¯s characteristic revelry and exuberance under the influence of alcohol.


    And in some dark corner, on the large leather card table, a pair of young people is embracing, people passing by have thrown them ambiguous eyes but seeing such scene can¡¯t be called unusual either.


    Such forgetfulness and indulgence are not uncommon here, and there are many more than this.


    The youth¡¯s chin rests on the top of the hair of the young girl in his arms, concealing the corners of his lips in the dim light with a smile that no one can see; his eyes seem to be slightly drunk.


    He hugged her tightly, feeling her warm and soft body, feeling her breath through the thin knitted shirt, spraying the skin of his chest one by one. Such an embrace relieved the inexplicable impatience in his heart.


    The rich smell of alcohol in the air seems to be absorbed by the body through the pores, and while he clearly has not touched a drop of alcohol, he feels drunk.


    This feeling is very strange.


    As a matter of fact, he grew up with an aversion to being touched by others.


    ¡ªSuch as the group of children in the orphanage.


    When he first went to the orphanage, he was subjected to many touches. A group of children older than him heard from somewhere that he was ¡°crazy¡± and since then had him as a target for teasing and entertainment. They used to catch earthworms and throw them into his collar, pour ink on his clothes, or sneakily burn his hair with a lighter.


    The calmer he was, the angrier the kids seemed to get.


    People are like that. They take the trouble to do something and always want to achieve the desired result, and all they want is to see him go crazy.


    Later, the rumors spread to the elementary school he attended, and the same thing continued to happen.


    Until one day, he put one of the boys into an abandoned toilet on the second floor of the school, and taped his lips to prevent him from calling for help.


    He shut him up all day.


    After that, curiosity and teasing turned into fear and dread, and everyone shied away from him, and no one came back to trouble him or touch him again.


    He used to think that human touch was as unpleasant as the earthworm that was put into his collar back then, but it changed completely after he met her.


    ¨CIt was like having a soft dream, lying atop a cloud and surrounded by it.


    The youth quietly held the young girl in his arms, smelling the fresh scent of her hair and counting his own increasingly rapid heartbeat.


    Four hundred and ninety-eight, four hundred and ninety-nine, five hundred¡­ It¡¯s time to wake up from this dream.


    ¡°Zhang Man, get up, your mother is gone.¡±


    His voice had a slightly drunken hoarseness to it, like a bassline played on the bass.


    Zhang Man heard his words, and breathed hard as she let go of him. She lifted her head and glanced nervously at the bar door.


    Sure enough, no one was there.


    She was relieved. If this was caught by Zhang Huifang, she really didn¡¯t know how to explain.


    When a person relaxes, the body¡¯s memories begin to flow back.


    She blushed as she remembered the minutes-long hug she just had.


    His embrace was really warm¡­ and his heartbeat was in a crazy acceleration for a while from just now. It was so fast that it was almost suffocating.


    She exhaled gently and adjusted her breathing, fortunately Zhang Huifang did not continue to stay for a while, otherwise she might have a sudden cardiac arrest.


    Zhang Man¡¯s cheeks rolled hot, but its okay since the bar is so dimly lit, he¡­ probably didn¡¯t notice. She raised her eyes to peek at the youth beside her, but saw that his gaze was faint, his expression did not fluctuate in any way, and his good-looking fingers held the transparent glass to his mouth, seemingly wanting to drink water.


    Zhang Man slightly froze, and suddenly her heart was balanced.


    ¡ªHis glass had no water in it at all.


    Zhang Man felt like laughing a little. He looked so calm, but he must have also felt it in his heart, how to say it¡­ Ah! He looks like one of those good little girls in the movies when they¡¯re embarrassed!


    In order to ensure that they would not run into Zhang Huifang on the road, the two waited a while longer before leaving the bar. Li Wei did not say anything and walked straight to the station, apparently intending to send her home.


    The two stood under the station sign and waited for the bus. The stations in N City this year only had rudimentary stop signs and seats, unlike later when they were all built to be enclosed and sheltered from the wind and rain.


    It¡¯s almost 9 o¡¯clock and winter, combined with night, is the worst kind of bitter cold.


    Zhang Man rubbed her cold fingers, looked at the side of the youth¡¯s face, and had some doubts in her heart: ¡°Li Wei, what did you say to the bouncer back there, how did he let you in?¡±


    ¡°I said I came to see my friend.¡±


    ¡°Huh? I said that before too, but he didn¡¯t let me in.¡±


    The youth paused and patiently explained, ¡°I¡¯m talking about the owner of that bar.¡±


    Zhang Man was surprised: ¡°You still have such friends? When did you meet them?¡±


    She seems to have heard people mention that the bars in this area are opened by the most powerful group of people in N City on the road. It is surprising that he still knows these people¡­


    How come she never knew about these things?


    Hearing her question, the youth pursed his pretty lips, and his Adam¡¯s apple moved slightly.


    ¡°Not really a friend, we just met back in the old days at the orphanage.¡±


    He is just a person who does not hate him or exclude him as much as others, so he could not be considered a friend.


    Zhang Man listened to his lighthearted sentence, but in her heart, it was like she was being scratched by a cat.


    So she did not stop there and continued to ask: ¡°Li Wei, tell me, how did you two meet?¡±


    The youth was silent for a moment: ¡°¡­you really want to know?¡±


    Zhang Man nodded vigorously, she wanted to know all about him.


    The youth said a few words succinctly, generalizing very well, as if summarizing some physical formulas.


    ¡°The owner of that bar is 7 or 8 years older than me, and he was also living in the orphanage at the time. I did him a favor when I was a kid, so the relationship was okay, and he got out of the orphanage before he was an adult.  He made some breakthroughs in his career in N City and Z City, and when I was in middle school he also went back to the orphanage to find me once, seeing that I have no friends, he asked me if I wanted to follow him. I did not agree because our paths are not the same, but I heard that he is doing well now.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ why did you later get out of the orphanage and live on your own?¡±


    The youth lowered his eyes, without much expression: ¡°¡­ The orphanage was too busy for my liking. I applied for several years until my sophomore year in middle school. When the institution finally agreed that I had the ability to live alone, only then did they give me a certificate.¡±


    That said, if the orphanage would have approved it earlier, he would have wanted to come out and live alone.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart gripped tightly, how unhappy was he to prefer to stay alone and escape from that place? He said it lightly, but it was as if there were waves of fear in his heart.


    Who doesn¡¯t like the hustle and bustle? But the hardest part is that all the buzz and revelry around him has nothing to do with him.


    She felt conflicted.


    It was clear that she wanted to know everything about him, but didn¡¯t dare to continue asking, because every time he said something, her heart felt harder. She suddenly felt that it would be good if she could go back a bit in time when she was reborn. She wanted to be by his side from the very beginning, to hold the little one in her arms and say to him: ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid, I will always be by your side and would never, ever leave you.

 CH 26

    Zhang Man returned home, and as soon as she entered the door, she heard Zhang Huifang on the phone in her room, supposedly calling one of her best friends.


    She recounted her story in an indignant tone, accompanied by occasional sobs.


    Zhang Man frowned. She had just watched her mother move a glass of wine with elegance and decisiveness to Zheng Zineng, and thought she didn¡¯t take it to heart at all.


    But clearly, Zhang Huifang¡¯s strong and proud nature makes it impossible for her to show her vulnerability in front of people, and she can only hold back her tears and cry at home.


    Zhang Man is a little worried, tiptoeing to the door of her room, she pressed against the door and listened to their conversations.


    On the other end of the phone is one of Zhang Huifang¡¯s best friends, called Xu Yan, who used to be in a band with her, which Zhang Man has also met. Although Xu Yan didn¡¯t pursue studies when she was young, and instead became a band member in a bar, her temperament was much quieter than Zhang Huifang. In her 20s, she married and gave birth to a child, and later changed her career to become an accountant, living a very good life.


    ¡°Yan Yan, I really didn¡¯t expect him to be this kind of person.¡±


    While dropping tears, Zhang Huifang pulled some tissues, and enabled the speaker mode on her phone for convenience, making the other side¡¯s voice clear to Zhang Man.


    ¡°Ah Fang, no offense but you¡¯re 35 this year, not 15! You¡¯ve got several wrinkles at the corners of your eyes, so how come your vision still hasn¡¯t grown? After all these years, how can you still be so quick to judge a book by its cover?¡±


    Xu Yan paused, and sighed: ¡°But this time it¡¯s really not your fault. That dog, Zheng Zineng, who usually acts like a human being, always has a smile on his face. I never thought he would be such a scum!¡±


    Zhang Huifang sobbed a few times and calmed down a little: ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve been in contact with him for a while, and he has always acted like a gentleman.¡±


    She paused for a moment and her voice was much softer: ¡°And¡­ he clearly disclosed before¡­ that he did not want children in the future. If I am with him, he will help me to take care of my Man Man in the future¡­ As you know, I will never have another child since I already have Man Man. So I made up my mind this time. I thought I¡¯d try it for a while, and if I could, I¡¯d get married. I didn¡¯t expect that he¡¯s¡­ Yan Yan, you don¡¯t even know how humiliated I am today.¡±


    Xu Yan finished listening, and then suddenly thought of her last relationship that ended without a hitch, and took a deep breath: ¡°You do not want children¡­ so you broke up with Xu Shang? Is it because he insisted on having children after marriage? Xu Shang is an honest man who treats you well. He and his former wife have been divorced for so many years and have never looked for him, and they have no children. There is a lot of pressure in the family, so it is normal for him to want a child, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    Zhang Huifang sounded a little anxious: ¡°I know. Xu Shang is very good to me, and to be honest, I also like him very much, more than those boyfriends before, and he¡­ is a very attractive man. But that can¡¯t be helped, his mother is old and he must want a child, right? If he does¡­ What about my Man Man?¡±


    Xu Yan paused for a long time and asked again, ¡°Then there were two or three before that I thought were good and got along with you¡­ Did you break up with them too  because of this reason?¡±


    Zhang Huifang calmed down for a while and sounded less agitated.


    ¡°Not all, although there is one or two who said they do not want children afterwards, I felt that they really don¡¯t care about my Man Man. It is impossible for them to sincerely treat her as their own daughter¡­ Yan Yan, although I have had many boyfriends, I am not a self-centered person. Before settling down, I have always kept my distance. I think I¡¯ll try a few more and should be able to find the right one¡­ this time, it¡¯s my bad luck.¡±


    As she spoke, she looked into the mirror and removed her eyeliner from her crying eyes.


    ¡°¡­You know me, I was capricious and irresponsible when I was young, and my Man Man was a total accident in my life.¡±


    ¡°When I had her, I was still a child myself and didn¡¯t know how to bring up a child at all. Besides, for me at that time, love and youth were all that mattered, and I wasn¡¯t that attached to her. But now¡­ I can¡¯t stop thinking about my Man Man.¡±


    ¡°She has never seen her father since she was a child, and I¡¯m not close to her, her temperament, I as a mother have to take most of the responsibility. I¡¯ve always wanted¡­ to find someone who would love me and love her more and give her the kind of dad she wanted since she was a little girl. But after so many years¡­ it¡¯s just too hard. Yan Yan, do you think I should stop looking in the future? Even if there¡¯s no father, she still has me as her mother. Although I¡¯m not a decent mother, I can still take good care of her¡­¡±


    She finished choking up. She was in her thirties but suddenly she was whimpering, as if she was the same young girl who sat in the hospital hallway sixteen years ago, holding a laboratory test sheet while breaking down in tears.


    Zhang Man heard this, and her heart was already incomparably shocked. When she came back to her senses, she found that her face was already cold.


    She covered her mouth and tried not to make a sound as she quietly made her way out.


    The building was dimly lit, with one or two broken voice-activated lights. She walked numbly down the long staircase and pushed open the unit door.


    Coming face to face with a cold, icy wind.


    The wind that whistles at night is becoming more and more ferocious, and when it passes through certain objects, it also emits a sharp swooshing sound. Zhang Man slowly crouched down in the doorway, with such temperature, her thoughts were much clearer.


    It is impossible to say that she has never resented Zhang Huifang.


    She was not used to her mother¡¯s chaotic private life and hated the fact that she was not living peacefully all the time. For a long time in her childhood memories, the word ¡°father¡± was the most unmentionable pain in her heart.


    She had no idea who her father was, she only knew that her mother changed boyfriend after boyfriend for a long time. Gradually, she never bothered to ask this question again and looked coldly at her mother¡¯s all kinds of romantic entanglements to keep herself out of it.


    Zhang Huifang even caused her to hold a skeptical attitude towards marriage and love all the time.


    She still remembers Zhang Huifang¡¯s ex, Xu Shang. The two have been in a relationship for a year, longer than many of her previous boyfriends, so long that even Zhang Man assumed that her mother should settle down this time. But a few months ago, the two parted ways calmly, and when she asked her about it, she downplayed it by saying it was due to personality differences.


    She also vaguely remembered several people who seemed to be quite suitable, and then all ended up in vain.


    She has always thought that it was Zhang Huifang who was averse to the old and refused to settle for the new. She grew tired of the novelty, so she changed boyfriends one after another.


    Never thought that many of these actions would be because of her?


    It turns out that the truth was the other way around all along, and it was she who had been dragging her mother down.


    Why did she never understand how hard it would be for an unmarried mother with a child to live in this society?


    ¡ª


    Zhang Man suddenly recalled the breakup between Zhang Huifang and Zheng Zineng at the end of her previous life.


    The house they bought in H City was secretly sold by Zheng Zineng for gambling, and then the three had no choice but to rent a very dilapidated house. That house is very far from the center of Z city, almost to the suburbs, and it is still a small two-room house, all of which is less than 70 square feet.


    It was Zhang Huifang who chose the place, which is close to her school. At that time, Zhang Huifang herself worked in the city center and had to take the bus for more than an hour every day.


    She remembers that the house was really old and the locks on the doors to her room were rusted and couldn¡¯t be locked. Zhang Huifang at that time was busy in order to pay off his gambling debts, so she didn¡¯t bother her with this matter.


    That day Zhang Huifang was not at home, Zhang Man was in her room to change clothes, and as a result, Zheng Zineng entered her room without even knocking. Zhang Man who had just put on her underwear, saw him come in and screamed in fright, fumbling to put on her blouse. However, the man did not feel the least bit embarrassed or apologetic, but instead stood boldly in the doorway looking at her with a sickening gaze in his eyes.


    He was, at that time, her nominal father.


    This happened several times, and it even became worse.


    Zhang Man finally could not stand it and at one point took advantage of Zheng Zineng¡¯s absence and told it to Zhang Huifang.


    She still remembers that Zhang Huifang¡¯s face turned ashen in that instant, her lips bitten to the point of bleeding, the whole person grasping the door frame and shaking, looking terrible.


    That afternoon, her mother locked herself in her room for several hours; she had no idea what the other was thinking.


    When the evening came, Zhang Huifang told her to go into her room to do her homework and not to come out no matter what happened. Zhang Man looked at her seemingly calm, nodded, and went inside without saying anything.


    However, when Zhang Man heard the loud commotion and opened the door, she saw Zhang Huifang chasing the drunken Zheng Zineng with a kitchen knife, chasing him from the kitchen to the living room. Her eyes were red and frightening, like she really wanted to cut him to death with a knife.


    Zheng Zineng got scared and ran away, and did not return for several days after that, and then the two agreed to divorce.


    When the two divorced, Zhang Huifang sat on the floor that day, shaking. She told Zhang Man that she should never, ever tell anyone that Zheng Zineng had tried to harass her.


    She thought at the time that Zhang Huifang could not afford to lose her face but now realizes that she is actually protecting her.


    She was afraid that if word of this got out to her school, she would be ridiculed.


    So that¡¯s¡­ how it is.


    Therefore, even if Zheng Zineng lost money on gambling, she did not mention divorce but after hearing that Zheng Zineng had offended her, she carried a kitchen knife and wanted to kill him.


    After that time, Zhang Huifang seemed to have aged many years overnight. She, who is originally enthusiastic about going out every day, shut herself up at home for more than a month. Later, she never fell in love again. Zhang Man always thought she was broken-hearted by Zheng Zineng and no longer believed in love.


    It turns out that it¡¯s not that she doesn¡¯t believe in love, but she doesn¡¯t believe that there will be such a man who will love her for herself and at the same time love her daughter as his own. Not because she is capricious and not willing to settle, but she wants a double portion of love for the both of them.


    Which man can afford it?


    That¡¯s why it¡¯s still on thin ice after all these years.


    Zhang Man covered her face and burst into tears.


    She did not know until today that it was not only when she was small, but also now, when Zhang Huifang mentions her with her best friend she always calls her ¡°Man Man¡±.


    Like she said, when she gave birth to her, she was a willful and petulant child.


    ¡ªIt was her(ZM) first time as a daughter, and her(ZH) first time as a mother.


    The next day, Zhang Man went to Li Wei¡¯s house for tutoring as promised, but she was obviously distracted.


    What happened yesterday was too much of a shock to her. She began to be a little confused as to why life always had to go around in circles like this? People who are obviously in love with each other, why can¡¯t they communicate their feelings directly, but have layer after layer of misunderstanding and thus distancing themselves from each other.


    It is as if there is a hand that no one can see, laughing behind the scenes, manipulating people who are trying to live their lives, teasing them, alienating them, and making them carry regrets from moment to moment.


    She and Zhang Huifang are like this, and in her previous life she and Li Wei were also like this. One has to make such a big detour to understand the other¡¯s heart.


    She was depressed, slumped over sickly and didn¡¯t want to answer the problem.


    The youth looked at her with difficulty, and also stopped reading the book he was holding and turned to her with a questioning gaze.


    Zhang Man suddenly had a desire to talk, so she slowly talked to Li Wei about what happened between her and Zhang Huifang, and as she talked, she couldn¡¯t help but shed a tear.


    After she finished, she poked the youth¡¯s arm: ¡°Hey, Li Wei, why do you think when we want to know the truth of a matter sometimes, we always have to take so many turns? Why can¡¯t something sometimes be communicated directly to the other person?¡±


    The youth looked at her seriously, with infinite tenderness in his eyes, and that watery gaze gave Zhang Man great comfort.


    He thought for a moment after hearing her question.


    ¡°Zhang Man, do you know what kind of distance between two points is the shortest?¡±


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t think twice: ¡°Of course it¡¯s a straight line.¡±


    The youth shook his head: ¡°The shortest distance is a straight line only if the space is flat, and if the space is curved, then the shortest distance will be a curve ¡ª there is no straight line in curved space. So sometimes life doesn¡¯t go around the bend on purpose, because for relationships, that¡¯s probably the shortest distance it can go.¡±


    Zhang Man froze for a moment, knowing that he was attempting to comfort herself, her heart was pounding after the teenager finished that paragraph.


    At this time, other people may tell her not to be upset, and then use their own life experience to guide her and reassure her that the relationship with her mother will definitely get better in the future.


    But he didn¡¯t.


    Regarding feelings, he has no involvement and no experience in this area at all. She complains about this with him, but he doesn¡¯t even have relatives.


    Yet he still clumsily, trying his best to soothe her with his physical view of the world, telling her that it was all for the best.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was suddenly enlightened.


    But he¡¯s not wrong. Without the separation and the twists and turns, maybe the emotions wouldn¡¯t be so deep. What¡¯s more, she has been reborn, and the people she loves, and the people who love her, are all around her now.


    After all misunderstandings are solved, none of them will leave anyone again. All this is not a detour, it is the shortest distance, the best arrangement.


    Zhang Man looked into his eyes and said softly, ¡°Li Wei, you are so nice.¡±


    He is the best person in this world!

 CH 27

    In mid-December, the first snow of the year fell in N City, rain and snow to be exact.


    Today, after the evening study session, Li Wei accompanied Zhang Man to an unfamiliar neighborhood near her home. Zhang Man confirmed the address against the door number on the paper, and raised her eyes to look at the youth beside her.


    With his encouraging nod, her heart gained courage.


    She raised her hand and rang the doorbell.


    Soon, a man¡¯s loud and clear voice rang out, ¡°Who is it?¡±


    He opened the door, rubbed his sleepy eyes and froze for a moment when he saw two students in school uniforms at the door: ¡°¡­Man Man?¡±


    The man was wearing silk long-sleeved pajamas and was tall and had a robust look. He has a clean, flat haircut and a sharp look, and even has a scar on the corner of his forehead, which makes his face look a bit fierce.


    Far from Zheng Zineng¡¯s gentle and courteous appearance that gives a good impression.


    Zhang Man politely greeted him, ¡°Hello, Uncle Xu.¡±


    A hint of doubt emerged from the man¡¯s eyes, but he smiled and invited them in to sit.


    Zhang Man pulled Li Wei and sat down on the sofa in the living room, while Xu Shang went to pour tea for them.


    Xu Shang did not expect Zhang Man to come to him. His impression about the relationship between the little girl and her mother is very general, and before that she was also indifferent to him. He almost didn¡¯t recognize her after not seeing her for months, but the little girl definitely looked a lot more mature than before.


    There was also a boy next to her. Their combined age probably wasn¡¯t as old as he was, but he certainly won¡¯t dare to be negligent now.


    Xu Shang poured them both two cups of juice, and himself a cup of green tea.


    He took a sip of water to moisten his throat, ¡°Man Man, you came to see me so late today, is there something wrong?¡±


    Zhang Man sat upright, straightened her back, and spoke straight to the point: ¡°Uncle Xu, I came here today to ask you, do you still like my mother?¡±


    Xu Shang, who just had a mouthful of tea in his throat, almost spewed it out, choking and coughing for a while.


    What is this? This is something that has only been heard from the mother-in-law to see her son-in-law, but never from the daughter to see her mother¡¯s boyfriend, right?


    Ahem¡­ex-boyfriend.


    Xu Shang had no idea why she was asking this, but nodded honestly at the young girl¡¯s serious eyes.


    He broke up with Zhang Huifang during this time, and was arranged by the family to go on a few blind dates, but not once did his heart flutter. In fact, he has been still thinking about Zhang Huifang, but he knew that she was no longer interested in him.


    The young girl saw him nod, her tense expression relaxed, and her gaze became kind to him.


    Xu Shang blushed and coughed covertly, ¡°Why are you asking this?¡±


    Zhang Man also picked up the juice and took a sip: ¡°Uncle Xu, what did my mother say when she broke up with you before?¡±


    Hearing her ask this, Xu Shang was even more embarrassed. These kinds of private words, how to speak out in front of a little girl? Moreover, this little girl is still the daughter of his ex-girlfriend¡­  Xu Shang feels like he has a bit of a headache.


    Who knew that the little girl seemed to see his embarrassment and gently soothed him by saying: ¡°its okay, Uncle Xu, just say it, I won¡¯t tell my mom.¡±


    Xu Shang hesitated for a while and his mood was suddenly a bit low, he answered honestly: ¡°Ahem¡­ There¡¯s nothing to say¡­ Your mother said she thought my character was too honest and dull and that it was quite meaningless to be with me.¡±


    His head was lowered in embarrassment as he said it. How could he mention it to a child and still be sentimental about it?


    Zhang Huifang back then, was really the white moonlight of their hearts for many years in that particular neighborhood. He had a crush on her for many years and was afraid to confess his love. Besides, he always knew that she wouldn¡¯t look up to him. When they were together, she joked about marrying him, but later she still thought he was too boring.


    Hearing this, Zhang Man and Li Wei looked at each other.


    As expected, Zhang Huifang also lied to Xu Shang.


    With that nature of hers, after knowing that Xu Shang definitely wants to have a child, she would rather find another reason to dump him than to have him dump her because of this later.


    ¡°Uncle Xu, my mother doesn¡¯t know about my visit this time. I came here because I want to talk to you about something and ask your opinion.¡±


    Xu Shang swallowed, listening to her serious tone, he felt a little nervous.


    Zhang Man began to explain her intentions: ¡°My mother lied, she actually quite like you, except that she knows that if you marry her, you will definitely want another child. But my mother does not want to have another child for my sake, so¡­¡±


    Xu Shang listened to her words in shock and his eyes widened slightly, he was so nervous that his hands shook. He truly did not think that Zhang Huifang¡¯s reason for not wanting him was this.


    He didn¡¯t want to lose face in front of the children, so he held his left hand with his right.


    He remembered that Zhang Huifang seemed to have mentioned this topic. At that time, his family was pushing him hard, and to be honest, since he was almost 40 years old, he certainly wanted to have a child of his own while he was still young. So at that time he did not think twice to say: ¡°Sure I do. I do want a child. I think it¡¯s best to hold two for three years, one who looks like you and one who looks like me.¡±


    Indeed, when saying this, he did not think too much about Zhang Man. However, from the bottom of his heart, even with his own children, he will not neglect Zhang Man. It is her child, after all.


    It seems that it was after that conversation that Zhang Huifang did not take long to break up with him.


    ¡°Man Man, what I meant back then was¡­¡±


    There was some struggle in Xu Shang¡¯s eyes.


    When he found out that this was the reason for their breakup, he was actually very excited inside, it turned out that she did not dislike him at all. He would like to immediately declare that he does not want any more children, but then he remembers his mother at home, who is so old and still looks forward to having grandchildren every day, so he can¡¯t say anything.


    Zhang Man was satisfied when she saw him thinking seriously.


    The reason he didn¡¯t immediately change his mind and say he didn¡¯t want children was because he was honest and cautious, a man who would take responsibility for what he said. She then laughed softly, ¡°Uncle Xu, you misunderstood. I was saying that I want you to go after my mother again. I would be very happy if you could give me a cute little brother or sister later.¡±


    She saw the man¡¯s eyes snapped up full of surprise, so she added: ¡°Uncle Xu, I know you have been very good to my mother, I also want her to live a happy life in the future, so in regards to her thoughts on this matter, I will be there to persuade her.¡±


    Xu Shang was a little dazed as he listened to her words.


    But after a few moments, he could not stop being ecstatic in his heart. The little girl in front of him was simply an angel sent from heaven! How could she be so cute ah?


    He tried to pretend to be deeper, but he couldn¡¯t hold back and smiled so much that the corners of his eyes were creased: ¡°Man Man, you¡¯re such a good girl ah¡­ Don¡¯t worry! Your Uncle Xu will never let you down!¡±


    At this age, he no longer gets carried away by joy like a kid, but Xu Shang still feels that today is the most exciting day of his life in a while.


    When the people were respectfully sent away, Xu Shang rubbed his hands in the room and walked back and forth a few times before smiling and patting his head.


    I think I¡¯m really being looked at.


    __


    From Xu Shang¡¯s house, the snow fell more heavily. It began to snow yesterday morning and has not stopped since then. During the day, the street community organized a lot of people together to clear the road, but it was covered with thick snow again in the evening.


    The two walked one after the other, Li Wei walked in front, and the snow was trampled out by him. Zhang Man shoe soles are thin, she didn¡¯t want to get her shoes wet, so she stepped on his footprints and walked forward.


    Such quietness, after months, has become natural between the two.


    In fact, the snow is not so cold and in contrast, when Zhang Man looked at him walking in front, her heart warmed even more. She thought about today¡¯s events and felt that she must change the trajectory of Zhang Huifang¡¯s life, and not let her end up alone, as in her previous life.


    She knew that Zhang Huifang did like him after hearing that phone call, and inquired about Uncle Xu¡¯s home address as soon as possible.


    Zhang Man had a good impression of Xu Shang, but to be on the safe side, she also went to his 4S Authorized car dealership and asked the clerk about his character.


    To her great satisfaction, the response was unanimously positive, and everyone said the man was honest, capable, responsible and reliable.


    Zhang Man also inquired about his previous marriage history and heard that he had been married to a blind date. Two years later, his wife died in a car accident. He was busy with his career and failed to engage in a relationship and has been single since then, so his private life is also very clean.


    During this period of time, she was not only busy doing competition questions, but also busy asking around for information, and could not let Zhang Huifang know. Even Chen Feier complained that their mother and daughter were definitely born in the wrong place, and she was instead like a worried old mother.


    The two had nothing to say all the way to Zhang Man¡¯s house. Suddenly, the youth in front of her stopped, and Zhang Man, who wasn¡¯t paying attention when she thought about things, fell headlong onto his back.


    She cried out in pain as she covered her nose and tears were welling up in her eyes.


    The youth turned to her teary eyes and his eyes rested on her frozen red ears.


    She usually used to tie her hair in a high ponytail when she went to school, and her palm-sized face was covered by bangs, leaving only half of it open. Her pair of ears also grew well. They were small and round, with thick earlobes, and looked especially cute.


    But now those ears are frozen red and her white skin is so red that it¡¯s conspicuous and it looks a little heartbreaking.


    The youth¡¯s eyes paused and looked her in the eye again, ¡°Does it hurt from the bump? You have to watch the road when you walk.¡±


    Just eased from the soreness and numbness of the bridge of the nose, Zhang Man still cannot speak too well, and muttered with some dissatisfaction: ¡°¡­who let you stop without saying a word.¡±


    ¡°Mm, I¡¯m to blame.¡±


    Surprisingly, there was a warm smile at the corner of the youth¡¯s mouth. He did not retort but watched her, and under the streetlight, her shadow was much smaller and thinner than his.


    He suddenly remembered the last time he hugged her at the bar, the kind of touch that felt like being hugged by a soft cloud.


    The tingling sensation in the heart came once again.


    Before he met her, he had always thought that he was an absolutely sensible person and that his thoughts could absolutely control his actions.


    But it¡¯s different now. The body has again acted on itself before the brain clearly reacted.


    With dark eyes, he stepped forward and put his hands on the young girl¡¯s shoulders, and was about to exert a little force¡­


    ¡°Is it you Zhang Man? Did my dead daughter finally come back!? It¡¯s so late and you didn¡¯t even call me? Eh¡­? Is he¡­your classmate?¡±


    The sound of high heels hitting the ground and the dangerous tone of voice resounded in the hallway.

 CH 28

    Zhang Huifang waited at home for a long time tonight but didn¡¯t see Zhang Man come back. When she called Zhang Man¡¯s phone, no one answered, so she was about to go out to look for her and found Zhang Man standing at the staircase with a boy. The boy, who was more than a head taller than her, had his hands on her daughter¡¯s shoulders and wondered what he wanted to do.


    Zhang Huifang¡¯s heart burst into flames, stomping on her high heels, she walked over and raised her voice to stop him at this juncture.


    ¡°Is that you Zhang Man? Did my dead daughter finally come back? It¡¯s so late and you didn¡¯t even call me!? Eh? Is he¡­your classmate?¡±


    She believes she pulled out a pretty creepy vibe.


    The good thing is that the boy has some sense of propriety and immediately let go of Zhang Man when he heard her voice and stood to the side in a disciplined manner.


    Zhang Huifang came closer, and by the light in the hallway took a good look at the boy standing next to her daughter.


    After taking a good look, her mindset changed completely.


    *Sigh, isn¡¯t this the handsome guy that I met last time when Zhang Man was sick? Zhang Huifang¡¯s eyes flashed in an instant, and the face that had just been deliberately tightened up was softened a lot. She patted Zhang Man¡¯s shoulder and smiled with her eyes narrowed slightly.


    ¡°Zhang Man, it¡¯s your classmate, right? Little student, come sit upstairs, OK?¡±


    She called out familiarly, trying to look as kind as possible.


    Zhang Man looked at her mother¡¯s before and after changes. Skimming, she raised her eyes to look at the youth next to her.


    Li Wei¡¯s aura of being unapproachable in front of Zhang Huifang actually closed up; he greeted her in a disciplined manner and greeted: ¡°hello auntie¡±.


    What a good looking and polite boy, how rare~


    Zhang Huifang¡¯s expression was instantly more amiable, patting him straight on the arm and warmly inviting him upstairs for tea.


    Zhang Man stood aside, looking at Zhang Huifang like an odd but enthusiastic aunt. She knew Zhang Huifang would bump into Li Wei one day, if he sent her home every day.


    If she sees him she¡¯ll probably cause a lot of trouble, is what she always thought.


    There was awkwardness in the air.


    She hastily waved goodbye to the youth, while pulling Zhang Huifang upstairs again.


    Zhang Huifang flattened her lips, and when she reached the stairs she was still looking back frequently.


    When they got upstairs, the excitement in Zhang Huifang¡¯s eyes could no longer be hidden: ¡°Zhang Man, you are so good! Such a handsome boy! It seems that you¡¯re more capable than your mother was when she was young!¡±


    Zhang Man walked behind her, and almost stepped on the wrong step when she heard her mother¡¯s words. Is this really the attitude a normal parent should have?


    She reminded in a somewhat speechless manner, ¡°Mom, I haven¡¯t won him over yet¡­ and¡­it is still early for me to fall in love¡­¡±


    Unexpectedly, Zhang Huifang cut her words. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with falling in love early? When you meet the right one, you should seize the opportunity, otherwise the older you are, the harder it is to pick. Those with good conditions are already taken, and you won¡¯t be able to get married until you¡¯re in your thirties.¡±


    Zhang Man was poked by her. In her previous life, wasn¡¯t she over thirty years old and still not married?


    Zhang Huifang added with a smug smile, ¡°With mom¡¯s vision, you¡¯re close to getting him. The way that little boy is looking at you, he¡¯s definitely in love. HAHAHA! VERY GOOD! You didn¡¯t waste the beauty genes that you inherited from your mother!¡±


    Zhang Man smiled and blushed slightly, she touched her nose and remembered that Zhang Huifang in her previous life would have to urge her to fall in love and get married every time she called. Fine, at least she won¡¯t have this trouble in this life.


    Walking away for a moment, she suddenly remembered the things she had to address today.


    She took out her keys and opened the door, ¡°Mom, go in first, I want to talk to you about something serious.¡±


    Zhang Huifang kicked her high heels, sat on the sofa humming and started knitting a sweater, which was almost finished, with only one cuff left.


    She was busy gathering up the loose ends and told Zhang Man to talk quickly if she had something to say.


    Zhang Man put down her school bag and mulled over the situation for a while.


    Both mother and daughter, in fact, have some obstacles in expressing their feelings. She herself obviously goes without saying, holding everything in her heart, unable to say anything out loud. And although Zhang Huifang is spirited and spontaneous, best at gags to fire up the atmosphere, she tends to be clumsy when it comes to actually confessing her feelings in a straightforward manner.


    For her, who used to treat Zhang Huifang poorly not just for a day or two, suddenly having to say everything clearly was really a difficult thing for someone like her who was not good at expressing her emotions.


    But since she was able to be reborn once, she wanted to leave no regrets, which is why she works hard at it.


    She walked to Zhang Huifang¡¯s side and sat down, looking at her seriously, ¡°Mom, the last time you and Aunt Xu Yan talked on the phone, I heard it all at the door.¡±


    Hearing her say so, Zhang Huifang stopped the sweater needle in her hand. She was surprised and a little embarrassed by the look in her eyes.


    She remembers the day she lost her confidence, lost face in the bar, and lost control of her emotions. She thought she was alone in the house, and Zhang Man was not there. When she called Xu Yan, she seemed to be breaking down in tears, but did not remember much about what she was crying about.


    She looked at Zhang Man strangely: This dead girl, if you heard it, you heard it! Why are you poking your head in? It¡¯s weird and embarrassing ah!


    To her surprise, the girl continued: ¡°I went to see Uncle Xu Shang today, and he said he still likes you. Mom, I think he¡¯s nice and treats you well.¡±


    Zhang Huifang put down the knitted sweater. She stood up from the sofa, and got annoyed: ¡°Dead girl, you still care about your mother¡¯s business!? Why did you go to him!?¡±


    Zhang Man also stood up and carefully said to her, ¡°Mom, I heard it all, you said you don¡¯t want to be with him because he wants to have another child. You¡¯re only in your thirties, it¡¯s perfectly fine to have another child.¡±


    Hearing this, Zhang Huifang froze for a moment, and then looked at her in some silence.


    She has always known that Zhang Man is very precocious, usually silent with a bored expression, but the heart is clearer than anyone else.


    Zhang Huifang suddenly felt a little emotional in her heart.


    She had thought she could never do it on her own.


    When Zhang Man was born, she was so scared that she cried a lot. She had been kept awake by her noise for so long that she got up to change her diaper and hold her and coax her. She was so small that when held in her hands, she was less than her arm length, so fragile as if she would not survive any minor illness.


    Zhang Huifang was also young, and often anemic. She did not even have milk, so she had to go to the supermarket to buy a box of milk powder to brew, and feed it to her spoon by spoon. As a result, Zhang Man will eat a bite and vomit half of it. Perhaps, she is uncomfortable or choking and will immediately start crying with her mouth open.


    The baby can¡¯t be coaxed.


    So when Zhang Man was crying, she cried too, and both broke down.


    At that time, she was sitting on the simple mattress at home, thinking, she certainly can¡¯t raise it, and even if she does she will definitely not bring it up well. It¡¯s so tragic that she was born into her belly.


    But time flies, and in a flash that little baby has grown up to the present, tenaciously, without growing crooked, and knows how to think of her.


    Zhang Huifang turned her head sideways and blinked a few times to avoid letting Zhang Man see that she was a bit misty-eyed.


    She ruffled her long hair and rubbed her head with a smile: ¡°Zhang Man, you are still young, you don¡¯t understand. I¡¯m used to being free. I don¡¯t like to be bound by other family members. It¡¯s enough of a headache to have you, so having another child makes no sense.¡±


    Zhang Man knew that she was talking nonsense again.


    She is only in her 30s, there are still infinite possibilities in life. Who doesn¡¯t want to have children and grandchildren around her in her old age and have a partner to stay with until she grows old?


    Obviously, she was concerned about her.


    She has always been like this, seemingly sassy and frank, but more tongue-in-cheek than anyone else.


    Zhang Man suddenly felt that Zhang Huifang and she were actually very similar in some places.


    Her inability to express her emotions may have been inherited from her.


    A detached balance is created between two people who are not straightforward, but this balance will always have to be broken by someone.


    ¡°Mom, I¡¯m going to be 18 next year, so I¡¯ll be almost as old as you were when you had me. I¡¯m not a kid anymore, I¡¯m grown up, and you should have your own life.¡±


    With that, she squeezed her palm, gritted her teeth and stepped forward, gently hugging her mother.


    The woman has a nice perfume smell, her body is very soft and her skin is very good. Zhang Man suddenly can¡¯t remember the little old lady who rambled all day long with white hair and hunched back later in her previous life.


    She hopes that in this life, her mother can always live recklessly and openly.


    When Zhang Man hugged her, Zhang Huifang felt her whole body tremble.


    ¡°Mom, thank you for giving birth to me and taking care of me for so many years. I¡¯m old enough to take care of you from now on, and I want you to be happy.¡±


    ¡°En¡­ you try on that sweater later, I¡¯m almost done with it. It¡¯s the color you like.¡±


    Zhang Huifang inclined her head and wiped her hot and wet eyes at an angle Zhang Man couldn¡¯t see, and changed the subject stiffly.

 CH 29

    On Christmas Day, the snow that had been off and on for a while suddenly stopped and the weather began to clear.


    The long-lost blue sky and white clouds made Zhang Man feel relaxed, and she looked out the window while lying on the table.


    Since that time she and Zhang Huifang talked, mother and daughter have spoken openly to each other. Zhang Huifang, under her efforts to persuade her, has not yet fully accepted the idea of having a second child if she gets married, but has also loosened up a bit.


    And Uncle Xu did not disappoint her expectations either. He launched a fierce offensive and asked Zhang Huifang out several times in just over a week, and she could see that Zhang Huifang was very happy.


    Uncle Xu is a reliable man, and likes Zhang Huifang so much. If in this life the two can really get together in the end and form a family, nothing could be better.


    She was relaxed, but Li Wei was not.


    He was annoyed.


    When he came in the morning he saw several gift boxes on Zhang Man¡¯s desk, and he casually glanced at them, all of which were Christmas gifts given to her by some boys he didn¡¯t know.


    Some of the packages even had sticky notes in the shape of hearts, with words that looked very ugly to him, along with pretentious and incoherent confessions!


    His heart was in turmoil and his blood began to boil, as if there was a group of people coveting something of his, where he could not see.


    It was a strange feeling for him¡­ since he grew up with nothing but physics as a child.


    ¨CFighting with people is a very time-consuming and laborious task, and he simply doesn¡¯t bother to do it. So he is irrelevant to everything, let alone possessive.


    But when he thought of the young girl who was usually quiet and cold to everyone else, but would smile at him, cry at him, and pamper him, he felt like his heart had collapsed a piece.


    What if she sees those gifts and later smiles and cries at others like that, even hides in their arms and pampers them?


    Can¡¯t even think about it.


    The thought of it makes his internal organs throb with pain, and a burning anger is rising in his head which he can hardly control himself.


    Thus, the disciplined man did another unruly thing.


    ¡ªHe hid all the gifts and put them in his own drawer.


    The youth poked the exercise book on the table with the tip of the pen again and again, and became more and more irritable. Even the rare sunlight outside the window seemed annoying and harsh to him. He didn¡¯t understand why many things became different after he met her.


    He began to have many more emotions and learned to do things that he would otherwise be very uncomfortable with.


    For example, that day in the bar where he hugged her and told that lie, as well as hiding all the gifts today.


    He turned his eyes again to look at the young girl beside him, but he could only see the back of her dark hair and the patch of white skin behind her ear. She was lying quietly on the table and he couldn¡¯t see her mood.


    Will she be sad that she didn¡¯t receive a Christmas gift?


    The youth took advantage of the noon school break to make a trip out of the house.


    Zhang Man and Chen Feier went to the milk tea store again. It was cold recently, so the store launched a new taro ball hot drink which Chen Feier especially liked, so Zhang Man was dragged there every day.


    Zhang Man was depressed in her heart. Thanks to her, her waist gained an extra ring of fat.


    Chen Feier sucked up several taro balls with a large straw and chewed them joyfully: ¡°Man Man, do you think this damn weather is really strange too? It was snowing and raining a few days ago but today it¡¯s not snowing and it was cloudy instead. What kind of Christmas is this where there is no snow!?


    ¡°And this damn school, they don¡¯t even know to take a holiday on Christmas!¡±


    Zhang Man was speechless: ¡°The way I see it, you are hoping for a holiday every day.¡±


    Chen Feier raised her eyebrows and smiled and swallowed a mouth full of taro balls: ¡°That¡¯s not true. Think about it, you always go straight to Li Wei¡¯s house every day after class for tutoring sessions. If it¡¯s a holiday today I probably won¡¯t be able to see you anymore. Mm¡­better to have 2 days of classes a week and 5 days off, I think that will work.¡±


    ¡ª


    Back in the classroom, Zhang Man went to her seat, and looked at the desk full of things, ¡°Huh?¡±


    A pile of various gift boxes was placed on her desk at some point.


    She was a bit surprised, looking over one by one. Most of the gift boxes had the giver¡¯s signature and some words of confession written on the outer packaging. She looked at several in a row, somewhat helpless. Several of these people whom she had clearly rejected long ago, surprisingly still tirelessly sent it over.


    She was just about to put the whole pile away and return it one by one when she found a very special one among the many gifts.


    There is no note or signature on this gift.


    The box packaging is also very conspicuous, with a string of ¡°Merry Christmas¡± printed on the red wrapping paper together with a dark green ribbon, quite festive, to be honest.


    Fascinated, Zhang Man opened the box and found a pair of thick earmuffs inside.


    It was pink, and the two big round earmuffs were topped with two three-dimensional cartoon rabbits, furry and super cute.


    Cute is cute, but to be honest¡­it actually looks a bit like what elementary school students wear. At their age, it¡¯s a bit strange for high school students to wear such cute earmuffs outside, more or less.


    Zhang Man turned over the gift box and didn¡¯t see any signatures or cards or anything at all. She frowned and wondered who had put it there and how to return it later.


    So she poked the arm of the youth next to her.


    ¡°Li Wei, did you just see who put this box here?¡±


    The youth ignored her, pretending not to hear, and continued to read his book.


    He then thought that maybe she would be happy to receive so many gifts, so he took the ones that he had hidden away and brought them back out again.


    Mixed in with his own, of course.


    Zhang Man saw his reaction and giggled in her heart. She was worried that he was angry, so she carefully poked and prodded him.


    ¡°Li Wei, are you angry? I¡­¡±


    The youth frowned and looked over, seemingly annoyed by her disturbance, his tone was impatient: ¡°No¡­don¡¯t disturb me, I¡¯m reading.¡±


    Zhang Man looked at his expression and felt a little strange.


    He is a man who is always elusive and difficult to really reveal his inner emotions.


    However, the angrier he is, the calmer his expression is as if nothing has happened so how can he be like this now, with a face full of unnatural impatience?


    She had a sudden guess in her mind at that moment.


    Her heart became soft in an instant, and the pair of childish-looking earmuffs in her hand became extremely pleasing to the eye.


    So Zhang Man put on the earmuffs, turned around to face him, and said while observing his expression: ¡°Li Wei, I don¡¯t like all the other gifts and will have to return them when the time comes. However, this is not bad, I want to keep it. Do you think these earmuffs look good on me? Does it look weird or not?¡±


    The youth was not impatient this time, and inclined his head to give her a careful look.


    The earmuffs are really thick and seem warm and soft so that her ears won¡¯t freeze red when she walks down the road later.


    ¡ªEvery time he saw her red ears, he wanted to reach out and give her a hand to cover them.


    Her face was really small, and it was even smaller when she put on the big earmuffs, he even suspected that her face was not as big as his hand. Her eyes are big and round, and when she smiles, you can see that there are two sharp little tiger teeth in her mouth.


    The youth¡¯s heartbeat, in that moment, suddenly went haywire.


    He thought of the discussion he had heard from some of the boys in the class before, they said that although Zhang Man was the school flower and good looking, she was usually too serious and looked a bit mean.


    He thought they might be blind.


    ¨CShe is obviously so cute that the tip of his heart hurts.


    ¡°Not weird.¡±


    It looks great, and I¡¯m sure I didn¡¯t make a mistake in choosing this color in the end!


    ¡°Okay!¡±


    The heart¡¯s suspicions were confirmed. Zhang Man smiled and nodded vigorously.


    So when the evening came, Zhang Man put on her beloved earmuffs when she went to the cafeteria for dinner.


    Although it was a sunny day, the air carried the usual coldness of winter. Her exposed hands were frozen and swollen, but her ears were well protected.


    It¡¯s really warm.


    Zhang Man walked joyfully to the entrance of the building, only to suffer a good deal of ridicule from Chen Feier.


    ¡°Pfft, Man Man, what kind of vision do you have? These earmuffs are too corny, right? Pink? Bunny? Pfft¡­hahAHAHAHA! Oh God! My little niece looks better in them than you do!¡±


    She pointed at her head and bent over laughing, and only after a long time did she straighten up and continue to spit relentlessly: ¡°And this color! And this cute cartoon image! Don¡¯t you think it doesn¡¯t match with your whole person? I just saw you come out of class with an expressionless face and a drooping mouth so I never thought I¡¯d see you with two rabbits on top of your head¡­ I feel like you¡¯re getting crazy! Hahaha!¡±


    Zhang Man lazily ignored her, touching the furry rabbit¡¯s head, she felt pretty good about it.


    ¡ª


    That night, there was a special post in the 1st high school posting board. The title of the post was called ¡¾Ice beauty with bunny earmuffs¡¿, inside was a stolen photo of Zhang Man.


    It caused a bunch of people to go on a licking spree.


    ¡¾Crap! What¡¯s with the comfort caused by this extreme dissonance? How can our school flower be soooo cute!!! ¡¿


    ¡¾You, above me! It¡¯s obvious that the earmuffs are so tacky! How can you say it¡¯s so cute?! ¡¿


    ¡¾What¡¯s wrong with wearing cute bunny earmuffs and having a face that is inexplicably cute? ¡¿


    ¡¾AAaaaaAAAAAahhhhHHH! I want to know where to buy the school flower¡¯s earmuffs! I¡¯m begging you! PLEASE tell me which store to buy them from! I WANT them too! ¡¿


    The response was very good.

 CH 30

    The winter in N City is always inscrutable. On the day of New Year¡¯s Eve, it started snowing again after a few days of sunshine.


    Outside, it was snowy and windy, but inside it was warm.


    Zhang Man is in Li Wei¡¯s study, doing the angular momentum problem of a rigid body in a competition book, in which the force analysis and calculation process is very complicated. She had studied college physics in her previous life, but never touched it after teaching in high school, and was already rusty.


    It¡¯s been more than 20 years since she¡¯s been exposed to it, and she¡¯s still struggling to do it.


    But the knowledge you have learned can be picked up again quickly.


    After about five or six minutes, Zhang Man made a complete analysis of the forces on each object, calculated the different moments, and found the key to solving the problem. She followed the steps and wrote the solution without skipping a single step.


    The large desk in the study has two very different styles. The girl sat upright, her handwriting was also upright and the draft paper was divided into two sides by a vertical line in the middle. She wrote the solution process on the left and made a draft on the right, and each formula was marked with a number after it, which was so perfect that it could cure OCD.


    The youth on the other hand were not as sophisticated as she was. He had a thick pile of papers spread out in front of him, with all kinds of notes drawn on them. He took the pen and wrote quickly on the paper, but his handwriting was not too clear and did not exactly follow the path of the horizontal lines on the paper.


    He writes quickly enough to barely keep up with the calculations in his head, and many of the letters and numbers are passed in a single stroke in the way he is used to.


    With such casualness and scribblings, it is estimated that no second person can read these derivations except himself.


    Zhang Man did another question and got a little bit absent minded.


    She turned her face sideways and peeked at the youth who was writing with a quick pen. He has been sitting there for more than two hours already, doing a lot of calculations without stopping at all.


    In fact, theoretical physics, which is very romantic, is not like computational physics or applied physics and electronics, which requires a lot of data measurements and the assistance of various instruments and computers.


    A pen and a piece of paper can pry up the whole universe.


    The youth¡¯s look was serious, almost reverent, and he finally came to the desired conclusion after writing the last equation.


    He stretched slightly and turned around to look at Zhang Man.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Zhang Man looked at his dry, cracked lips and pointed to the glass of water in front of him.


    It dawned on him, and only then did he pick up the glass and take a sip. He is always like this, when he gets serious he can¡¯t care about anything.


    Summer¡¯s okay but in the winter when the outside is dry and the heating indoors is on, Zhang Man is a little worried that if this goes on he will flare-up.


    ¡°Li Wei, let¡¯s go to the mall, I want to buy a humidifier and put it at home. The room is too dry.¡±


    She said it so naturally that she didn¡¯t realize she had omitted a few words.


    But the youth on the sidelines froze.


    He heard her say, ¡°Home.¡±


    Home¡ªsometimes he really does not know what home is. An empty house with only him, is it considered a home? But that word just came out of her mouth and suddenly it had meaning, as if it carried warmth.


    It was so hot that his heart trembled.


    He nodded, the itch in his heart reached his palm and his fingertips began to tingle a bit, he couldn¡¯t help but raise his hand to touch her soft hair.


    ¡°Click ¡­¡­¡± with the dry winter air, Zhang Man was caught off guard by his touch, and a strong static electricity was generated between the two, which was particularly loud in the quiet room.


    Both of them were slightly stunned, then Zhang Man smiled and said, ¡°See, it¡¯s really dry so let¡¯s go!¡±


    ¡­¡­


    The snow and wind are still outside, and many branches on the road are bent over.


    Li Wei¡¯s home is located in the city center, surrounded by many shopping malls. This year, electronic shopping malls and express business are not so popular, so people mostly rely on physical stores to buy things and N City¡¯s major shopping malls are in the most prosperous years.


    The two looked for a larger one, and found that the opposite building is dedicated to a small electrical appliance mall.


    The sales lady was very enthusiastic and took them to the shelf full of humidifiers.


    Humidifiers are in the inner row with a wide variety as well as a row of foreign imports that also come with aromatherapy oils that can be placed inside.


    Zhang Man stopped. When she heard Li Wei speak earlier, it seemed that his sleep was not very good and he often thought about physics problems all night. She recalled that in her previous life, she heard Chen Feier say that lavender essential oil has a sleep-aiding effect, so if you drop some lavender essential oil when you sleep, your sleep should improve a lot.


    But there are several kinds of essential oils, each with its own advantages that Zhang Man picked out.


    The youth is only responsible for the cart, standing aside quietly watching the squatting young girl without making any comments.


    Around the young girl¡¯s neck hangs the pair of rabbit ear muffs he gave her, and with the down coat¡¯s fur collar, she looks fluffy throughout. She frowned and looked at the function descriptions on each humidifier box and carefully studied them, her mouth constantly perking up. ¡°No, the capacity of this is too small¡­ it won¡¯t last for a long time¡­¡­ this is too ugly, not aesthetically pleasing to put at home¡­¡±


    She looks more serious about buying things than doing physics problems.


    Zhang Man finally picked a good-looking, large capacity humidifier and threw it into the shopping cart. She gave a final glance at the price and it was acceptable, so she walked to the checkout.


    Mobile phone payment is not popular in N City this year so Zhang Man took out her wallet with the idea that she would pay, but was stopped by the youth.


    She saw that he would not allow her to refuse and take out a bank card and handed it to the cashier. Then he turned around and motioned that he would put the cart away, so she did not grab it from him.


    The two of them walked out of the Appliance Mall with their stuff, and Zhang Man suddenly remembered the last time they went to the bar, he gave the sultry woman a pile of money and was somewhat puzzled.


    ¡°Li Wei¡­ You live alone, where do you get so many living expenses?¡±


    The youth was quiet for a moment and the corners of his mouth curled up, ¡°¡­My dad left money behind that I probably won¡¯t be able to spend in two lifetimes.¡±


    Before his father committed suicide, he made a will, leaving him the vast majority of his assets during his lifetime and various real estate plus liquid investments, the exact figures of which he himself did not know.


    But it is something that probably the vast majority of people will never earn in their lifetime.


    There was a little more amusement in his heart when he said it.


    He is only one person, and has no interest in spending money, so he can¡¯t use much at all. What is the use of leaving him so much money?


    Zhang Man listened to his slightly mocking tone, her heart tightened: ¡°Li Wei, do you¡­¡­you resent your dad?¡±


    Resent him for starting the madness that almost killed him, or resent him for choosing to commit suicide when he was so young, leaving him all alone in this world.


    The youth shook his head in silence.


    After a long time he added: ¡°No complaints, I no longer remember what he looks like anymore.¡±


    Zhang Man felt a little uncomfortable again, like there was dense cotton in her heart that was blocking her to breathe.


    The last thing she wanted to see on his face was such an expression. Every time he talked about this, he kept stating it in a neutral manner. It¡¯s like if you never get hope, you will never be disappointed.


    She would have liked him to act like a normal person who would complain, blame, and vent his frustrations, instead of taking these misfortunes as a matter of course.


    She took a deep breath to calm down, after which she curled her mouth and grabbed the youth¡¯s sleeve: ¡°Li Wei, you can¡¯t finish spending so much money. I¡¯ll help you spend a little today.¡±


    The youth lowered his head and looked at the girl in front of him.


    She looked at him with a smile and softly grabbed his sleeve like that and said she would help him spend the money. A certain corner of his heart collapsed again, and suddenly he felt that the money his father had left him was a bit useful.


    ¡­¡­


    Zhang Man pulled Li Wei and went straight to the Home City upstairs.


    After she once again confirmed that Li Wei is really rich, she began a buying frenzy that showed no mercy. His home is so big, but there are only a few pieces of furniture and every time she goes to his house, she feels empty. The decoration is simple, and there are very few things, making it look quite lifeless.


    She picked a few plain pillows according to her preferences, as well as a vintage looking metal vase, plain sofa set, and picked a Beige wool carpet with a calming tone ¡­¡­ his home curtains also had to be changed. That black curtains are so dark that it feels gloomy to look at them. And¡­¡­yes, there is also the kitchen and although she has added a lot of things before, there is still a lot she can still buy.


    There were so many things that two shopping carts couldn¡¯t fit at all, and only then did Zhang Man give up.


    As the two pushed the shopping cart to the checkout once more, Zhang Man glanced at the bill and spat out her tongue with a little embarrassment.


    It seems like she¡­bought more than she should.


    She was bored standing at the front, waiting for the youth to pay and was casually looking around to pass the time when she suddenly found a girl about their age standing in front of the store, staring at Li Wei¡¯s direction all the time, with some confused eyes, seemingly confirming something.


    The girl was very good-looking, the kind that is radiant and enchanting to look at, just like those in the movies.


    She is quite tall with exquisite features and unlike the common plain and stereotypical of a high school student, this girl dresses up in a very trendy way. There are several handfuls of brown wavy curls dyed green in the middle of her hair. She is wearing a ginger colored hoodie and a sports legging that is still rare in this year¡¯s N City and is also carrying several luxury brand shopping bags in her hands.


    Zhang Man carefully recalled that she did not know such a person in her previous life. Could it be that it was someone Li Wei knew?


    But when she looked over again in a daze, the girl was gone.


    Zhang Man shook her head and did not put it in mind, perhaps it was a case of mistaken identity.


    When the two went home, they had to take a taxi and split several more trips to get everything home.


    Li Wei stood in the doorway, looking at the things piled into a small mountain in the living room and was a bit overwhelmed while the girl in front of him started to get busy with a satisfied face.


    Zhang Man spent the whole night setting up the whole home, and the final result was really good.


    The whole house has become much more crowded, and many spaces that were originally wasted have been used effectively and rationally, and it finally looks like someone is living here. The essential oil diffuser is already working and the air carries the aroma of lavender essential oil, which makes you feel relaxed just by smelling it.


    Satisfied, Zhang Man rolled up her sleeves and went around the house, surveying whether there was still room for remodeling.


    His house is a very large flat with three rooms with a study, but there are two rooms she has never been in. Zhang Man opened the door to one of the rooms and found that this room was very large and should be the master bedroom.


    Against one wall in the center was a very large bed with a bedside table, desk, and a round sheepskin rug. There is a row of closets on the other side, and there is even an old dresser next to the closet, but nothing is placed on it.


    The room has a bathroom, and outside is a large balcony facing south, Zhang Man pushed open the balcony door and stepped out to look up.


    Sure enough, there was a stainless steel clothesline on top.


    Her heart tightened and she hurriedly closed her eyes to keep herself from thinking about those images.


    She retreated back into the room. The floor and furniture were clean, and it was obvious that someone came to clean it often.


    The youth saw her in the master bedroom for a long time and did not come out, so he also came in and leaned on the door frame to watch her.


    ¡°This is the master bedroom, which Janet stays in when she returns from Canada occasionally.¡±


    Zhang Man bit her lip as she heard him mention his mother so naturally. Her eyes couldn¡¯t stop drifting towards the balcony outside.


    Could it be here? Is this where all his misfortunes began?


    Li Wei looked at the girl in front of him looking at the balcony from time to time with a worried and sad expression, so he walked over and gently pushed open the glass door of the balcony.


    A gust of crisp, cold air hit him, stimulating his nerves.


    It was already night outside and the surrounding skyscrapers were lit up, and you could vaguely see the thin snow drifting down in the air below the lighted one. The criss crossed roads, a car racing past, even if it is winter evening, the city is still busy.


    He beckoned the girl to come to his side and went back inside to get her a blanket to wrap around her.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry¡­¡­that balcony back then is not in this home.¡±


    Zhang Man breathed a sigh of relief, but her expression still did not relax.


    Even if it wasn¡¯t this balcony¡ªthat was still the home he used to live in.


    Her heart aches just thinking about the torture and pain he went through at such a young age. Wasn¡¯t he in a lot of pain at that time? If the neighbors hadn¡¯t found it, then he would have been strangled alive by the rope¡­¡­


    The youth thought she did not believe him and remained silent for a while, with some memories in his tone, he spoke.


    ¡°That year¡­before the accident, our family lived in a different place¡­¡­¡±


    The recollection touched some memories that were stored deep in his mind.


    He actually has some memories of that day.


    Their family was in a luxurious villa area in N City. There was a large swimming pool in the neighbor¡¯s house and several children in the neighborhood would go there to swim when they had nothing to do.


    He also went that day, and a few young friends of about the same age to play together, and swim together, splashing each other, soaking wet.


    It was only when they played until the evening that he ran for home wet.


    After his father had some mental problems, he didn¡¯t go to work for a long time and told the public that he was recovering from his illness at home. He was young and did not know what mental illness was, but saw his dad laughing and crying all the time and thought that all adults were like that.


    He entered gleefully, intending to go and change his clothes, but instead he ran into his dad walking out of the room looking that delirious again.


    Some of the details are actually not very clear to him, he only remembers that his dad picked him up very hard and carried him to the big balcony from the first floor of the villa.


    He could not break free at that time and he was in pain from his dad¡¯s grip, so he kept screaming and crying, but his dad turned a deaf ear and went crazy, saying something like, ¡±You will catch a cold if you are wet and not dried. You will get sick and die¡ª¡±, and hang him on the clothesline of the balcony with a rope.


    The thick knot of rope wrapped around his neck and the hand that his dad was holding him by jerked loose as he turned around and went to the living room. His legs began to flutter constantly, trying to scream but completely unable to make a sound. His own weight made the rope bind his neck and strangle into his flesh.


    The pain of suffocation, the twitching of the whole body due to the extreme pain, and the withdrawal of the mind, even after so long was still not forgotten.


    People can be really desperate when they are still conscious prior to their near death.


    So desperate that every time he remembers, he can¡¯t breathe as if there is still that rope that strangles his neck.


    Even though he was very young that year, the overwhelming despair seemed to be engraved in his bones.


    It¡¯s impossible to forget after all these years.


    Li Wei could not help but raise his hand and touch his neck.


    Thinking about it today, it seems less uncomfortable and the knot of fate seems to be loosening its grip on him.


    Is it because she is here?


    He looked at the girl who was still frowning in front of him and went over, smiling while stroking her head.


    Some things become more and more proficient as you do them more.


    ¡°I was very young then, and that incident is something that I can¡¯t remember at all.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it anymore.¡±

 CH 31

    After Zhang Man came home that day, Li Wei made a phone call in the study.


    He heard two days ago that Yan Hui recovered from his injuries and came back to school. A bully like him, who has suffered such a big loss, will definitely want to retaliate back.


    He was fine with it, but not her. Just thinking about the day she was threatened by the guy holding her chin, thinking about her white knuckles squeezing her school bag would make him lose his mind.


    Everything related to her is something he doesn¡¯t dare to let up on.


    The phone was answered after a few ¡°rings¡± and the man¡¯s voice on the other side was a bit rough: ¡°Who is it?¡±


    ¡°¡­Brother Yi, it¡¯s me, Li Wei.¡±


    Si Yi is the owner of the bar Zhang Man went to last time, and is now one of the most prominent figures in N City. Back then in the orphanage, he owed Li Wei a personal favor and if it wasn¡¯t for Zhang Man, perhaps this favor would never have been mentioned in his lifetime.


    ¡­¡­


    Since Si Jin came home, she keeps on thinking about the youth she saw in the store today, ¡°Who is he¡­?¡±


    She felt a very familiar feeling in her heart, and she was sure that she must have seen him somewhere before. But in her mind she had some doubts, such a handsome young man, if she had seen him somewhere, she must have had an impression.


    She shook her head and stopped thinking about it, kicked off her shoes, threw the big bag she was carrying onto the couch and headed upstairs.


    Si Yi is sitting in the study and is talking on the phone as she quietly walks behind him, listening to him talking to the other end of the phone: ¡°¡­Yan Hui, right? I have a slight impression that it was one of the small bosses of some group that followed us around. Mmm, don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll have someone warn him¡­ Yeah, absolutely nothing will happen.¡±


    When Si Yi hung up the phone, Si Jin slapped him violently on the shoulder.


    Si Yi¡¯s furrowed brow became especially gentle the moment he saw Si Jin: ¡°Ah Jin, you¡¯re back?¡±


    Si Yi looks very imposing, broad shoulders, tall, and has a slightly square face. Although he looks handsome, he does not look anything like the exquisite doll-like Si Jin, and if not for the same last name, it is hard to imagine that these two are actually brother and sister.


    ¡°Yeah. Well, I¡¯m exhausted. I got stood up today, so I¡¯ve been shopping alone all day.¡±


    She asked casually, ¡°Big Brother, who did you call just now?¡±


    Si Yi smiled and stroked her head: ¡°Guess who it is? It¡¯s someone you know too.¡±


    ¡°I know him?¡± Si Jin¡¯s cute little nose wrinkled up and after thinking for a while, she couldn¡¯t think of an answer.


    ¡°It¡¯s Li Wei. He was in the orphanage with us when we were kids. He¡¯s the same age as you, do you remember him?¡±


    Seeing that she was still wrinkling her nose, Si Yi reached out and dotingly scratched her nose: ¡°You ran out of the house when you were a kid and were greedy for food, and he ended up getting you back. Such a heartless little girl, how could you even forget him?¡±


    As Si Jin listened, a vague figure emerged in her mind, and suddenly her eyes lit up.


    Was it him? She remembered when she was a child, squatting on the street corner bawling, she was approached by that tiny boy who took her hand and bought her a candy.


    It was especially sweet, and she still remembers it to this day.


    Wait! ¡­No wonder I felt that the person I met today at the store looked so familiar¡­


    Memory and reality began to overlap, and Si Jin¡¯s eyes grew brighter and brighter.


    ¡°Big brother, I want to transfer to another school!¡±


    ***


    A very sensational event recently happened in N City First High School.


    ¡°Rong Huai¡¯s school flower transferred to First High School!¡±


    There are two best high schools in N City, one is First High School and the other is Rong Huai High School. First Middle School is a public high school, while Rong Huai High School is a very famous private school for the rich, where students attend a bilingual program, mostly with the goal of furthering their education abroad.


    Most of the students of Rong Huai are either famous or affluent, and there are lots of handsome boys and girls, which are simply blinding compared to the plain public schools.


    However, just a few days ago, Rong Huai¡¯s school flower Si Jin transferred to the First High School, and was inserted into the senior arts class.


    This is not all, what is even more sensational is that this little princess just came to school and started a frenzied pursuit of Li Wei from Class 1.


    The number of gossipers posting it online is growing.


    ¡¾Did you hear? Si Jin has transferred to our school! She is the school flower of RongHuai, I¡¯ve seen her in person, and she¡¯s super, super good looking! ¡¿


    ¡¾Si Jin? Who? I don¡¯t know her. Isn¡¯t Zhang Man our school¡¯s new flower? ¡¿


    ¡¾What¡¯s wrong with you? When Shi Jin was in junior high school, she was scouted, and before that she was in the news, have you forgotten? Although Sister Zhang is also very good-looking but I personally think she¡¯s too silent and looks a bit cold, not as sweet as Si Jin.¡¿


    ¡¾Shut up upstairs!!! How is my goddess not as sweet as Si Jin, huh! My goddess just does NOT like to smile, and that is called being COOL and ALOOF!!! Do you understand that? Do YOU?!¡¿


    ¡¾Crap! Si Jin is chasing Li Wei? Is she not aware that Li Wei is a ¡­¡­, Ahem, if they are together, I am certainly not worried about the face value of their children but regarding on their mentality¡­it is difficult to say¡­ ¡¿


    ¡¾Aaaaaaahhh!!!!!!!!! My goddess is chasing that crazy person in class 1? What? Why??? Rong Huai has so many people lining up to chase her yet she¡¯s being ignored by him, isn¡¯t she? I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever love again. ¡¿


    ¡¾Yeah, she¡¯s been bringing breakfast to Li Wei every morning since she came over last week¡­¡¿


    ***


    In just one math class, Zhang Man has looked over to Li Wei for the eighteenth time.


    She squeezed her fingers and her whole face tightened.


    The girl named Si Jin came to bring breakfast to Li Wei again just now during the recess. She recognized that she was the girl who was staring at them in front of the store at the mall a few days ago. She also heard other students say that she was the school flower of Rong Huai High School and had just transferred over a few days ago.


    She tried hard to think about the person, combing through her memories over and over again and finally determined that there really was no such person in her previous life. In the previous life, apart from her, the other girls in the First High School kept away from Li Wei, after all he had so many bad reputations out there. She couldn¡¯t help but wonder what had gone wrong that had changed so many things and led to the appearance of such a person.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart is a little uncomfortable.


    As she was thinking about it, she felt a pain in front of her forehead as a chalk tip hit her on the head and bounced back out. She looked back and found her math teacher looking at her angrily.


    ¡°Zhang Man, I don¡¯t know how many times I¡¯ve caught you drifting off somewhere. If you don¡¯t want to go to class, go out and stand for punishment.¡±


    The math teacher named Yang Min, is a very serious female teacher who usually does not smile and is even more fierce when she gets angry.


    Zhang Man felt uncomfortable at first, and was now somewhat helpless. She also knew that she was indeed wrong, so she didn¡¯t say a word to defend herself, and stood up to go outside the classroom.


    But as soon as she stood up, she heard the sound of a chair moving beside her, and she looked over her shoulder to find that Li Wei had also stood up.


    ¡°Teacher, she was looking at me.¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was calm, as if stating an extremely simple fact. The whole class looked over, full of gossip eyes wandering between the two. However, with Li Wei, they did not dare to make a fuss.


    Zhang Man failed to hold back and blushed.


    She shot him a glare.


    He knew she was looking at him but still kept reading and pretending not to know.


    As Yang Min listened to these words, her face turned grim with anger: ¡°Then you two go together to stand outside as punishment. Have a good look outside, later I¡¯ll talk to your homeroom teacher and simply say that you two won¡¯t be in the next physics class and will stand until lunch.¡±


    Li Wei nodded and followed Zhang Man out of the classroom.


    The eyes of the students followed the two again in unison, and even the students sitting by the door poked out their heads. It was only when Yang Min slapped the podium desk hard that it settled down.


    Of course, some students have already secretly taken out their phones to post it online.


    ¡¾BREAKING NEWS!!! It turns out that Goddess Zhang likes Li Wei! She had just been looking at him in class, and she was caught by our math teacher! Now the two are standing together outside the classroom for punishment! ¡¿


    In this school, there are a lot of top students, but there are also a lot of people who don¡¯t study and muddle through.


    The sophomore building was just across from the freshman¡¯s, so the sophomore side could see the hallway of the freshman class from their windows. By this time, hordes of heads were poking out of the sophomore windows, looking that way.


    ¡¾Shit! It¡¯s true, I took pictures.¡¿


    ¡¾What the hell! What¡¯s going on here? I saw  Li Wei touch the head of our school flower!!! ¡¿


    ¡¾Urghhh!!! FU man! Didn¡¯t you see the school flower dodge it, just now? ¡¿


    ¡¾So the author said the opposite? I guess the plot should be like this. Li Wei is chasing our school flower but she refuses, so Li Wei became a psychopath and threatened to retaliate against her if she did not agree. Then our school flower glared at her fiercely and ended up being caught by the teacher.¡¿


    ¡¾All of you upstairs are full of BS! How can two school flowers like him? He¡¯s crazy and they¡¯re not¡­.¡¿


    ¡¾Though it¡¯s true that girls are creatures that look at faces, but¡­ although Li Wei is really handsome. I¡­still choose to cherish my life¡­¡¿


    Currently being punished to stand, Zhang Man, of course, cannot see these.


    For she is panicking right now.


    A pang of sourness roamed through her heart, and she didn¡¯t know what was wrong with her. The things that are related to Li Wei can easily make her lose her mind. Clearly¡ªclearly she would have wanted more people to like him and be kind to him, but in the past few days when Si Jin appeared, although she was also happy that someone liked him, but at the same time, the uneasiness in her heart was gradually accumulating.


    To the point that she started to imagine things.


    In the previous life, there was no Si Jin, so Li Wei has been subconsciously isolated by everyone in the two years of high school, except Zhang Man.


    One can imagine that when a young man who grew up lacking love and has been living in his own world, met a girl who is not afraid of him and is willing to enter his world during adolescence will naturally develop a good feeling later on.


    Just like her, in their previous life.


    But apparently, she¡¯s not the only one in this life, there¡¯s also another one named Si Jin. Her pursuit of him was so passionate, and although he is now cold to her every day and does not eat the breakfast she brings him, she knows that Si Jin is very persistent.


    She began to worry that there was no guarantee that he wouldn¡¯t be impressed one day, just as slowly as he was impressed by her. She began to wonder if his feelings for herself in his previous life were really because that person was her and not because she was the only one around at his side¡­


    Now that he has a choice, will he still choose her again? She hasn¡¯t even said she likes him yet¡­


    But how come Si Jin can pursue him so blatantly and so passionately?


    Whereas she has been suppressing her emotions every time, telling herself that he is in a bad mental state and must not be frightened of him and must take things slowly. In everything she does, she controls herself carefully, not daring to show her heart from the very beginning.


    Did she not want to,you ask? Clearly, she wanted to hug him the first day she saw him and for so many days after that, and she couldn¡¯t wait to tell him she liked him every time they met.


    But she held back, she didn¡¯t dare, she was afraid he would resist. If she¡¯s a step behind now, will he choose someone else?


    Zhang Man thought about it and tears fell uncontrollably.


    Li Wei has been watching the girl with the afterglow, seeing her whole face suddenly wrinkled, her black eyes slowly turning red as tears began to bubble out of her eyes like she was greatly aggrieved.


    Seeing this, his heart felt like it was being stabbed by a needle. The youth who grew up soaking in physics books really didn¡¯t know where her emotions were coming from at this point. In fact, earlier, he had just noticed that she had been looking at him, and he wanted to ask her immediately what was wrong, but the feeling of being watched by her all the time made his mood pleasant all over again.


    Just like every time at home, after she finished her homework, she would look at him with her cheeks in her hands, so intently, thinking he didn¡¯t know.


    But now she¡¯s crying.


    She had no idea that her tears were fatal to him.


    Li Wei only felt that every time she cried, there would be a sensation in his heart followed by a throbbing pain somewhere.


    Forgetting that he was still standing for punishment, he walked over to her.


    ***


    The grievances in Zhang Man¡¯s heart after so many days, as well as the tightly wound she had kept since her rebirth, suddenly collapsed at this moment. She simply could not control herself and tears desperately bubbled out.


    At that moment, she heard him ask her, ¡°Zhang Man, did anyone bully you?¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was so soft that it seemed to carry the same pain as hers.


    Zhang Man flattened her mouth. At this time, she just doesn¡¯t want to pay much attention to him, even if he¡¯s never done anything wrong in the first place.


    Li Wei lifted his hand, trying to touch her head to soothe her, but fell short.


    The girl took two steps away from him and turned her head to ignore him.


    Li Wei froze, looking at his fingers, his heart suddenly drew tight, and his body began to turn cold from the fingertips that she had just avoided.


    He went over again and tried to take her hand, but she dodged him again.


    The outstretched hand stopped in mid-air.


    This emptiness pokes straight to his heart, creating a hole in his heart.


    The feeling of being avoided by her was surprisingly harder than everyone hating him and ostracizing him together, combined.


    The youth gaped, lowered his head, and suddenly lost his entire strength.


    She¡¯s crying¡­is it because of me? Did she start to hate me, so she refused my touch?


    After Zhang Man dodged, she felt bad about it. He did nothing wrong, she couldn¡¯t lose her temper with him for no reason.


    But she was still feeling a little aggrieved.


    ¡°D-Do you¡­¡­think Si Jin is pretty?¡±


    When the youth heard her slightly sobbing voice, his first thought was one of surprise¡ª so she wasn¡¯t ignoring him.


    The second thought was: What is the problem?


    ¡°Who is this¡­Si Jin?¡±


    He¡¯s a bit confused.


    Zhang Man inhaled: ¡°I-It¡¯s the same girl who gives you breakfast every day these days, s-she said¡­she said you guys knew each other when you were little¡­¡±


    As she spoke, she stared down at the youth on the side without blinking, watching his expression carefully.


    He was silent for a moment, and that¡¯s when he remembered.


    His fine looking brows frowned slightly.


    ¡°¡­I didn¡¯t notice whether she¡¯s pretty or not. But she must be someone in school who hates me a lot. She gave me plain milk and hard-boiled eggs that I hated so much every day.¡±


    After Zhang Man heard him, the sobbing stopped immediately. She quickly gulped, blinked, and after a good half-day of jaw-dropping, broke into tears and laughed.

 CH 32

    Their punishment ended at noon.


    After lunch, Zhang Man and Chen Feier went for a walk in the schoolyard, which is a little farther away from the cafeteria, in order to eat.


    The weather outside today is not bad, the snow has stopped and the temperature is much warmer than two days ago. The cinder track was cleared, but snow was still piled up in the lawn on the edge of the track.


    Every winter, the thick snow is pure and beautiful only for a few days, and after a short time, it will be mixed with sludge or some dirty things and become muddy.


    There is a basketball court in the middle of the cinder track, and many idle boys take advantage of the nap time to play ball. A few sharp-eyed ones saw school girls walking, whistling several times at their side.


    ***


    Chen Feier took Zhang Man¡¯s arm and was a little worried, ¡°Man Man, I heard that Si Jin is chasing Li Wei these days, and with vigor. Do you think he¡¯ll fall for her? She seems to be quite pretty.¡±


    Zhang Man remembered Li Wei¡¯s reaction and was in a good mood and bent her eyes: ¡°No, he won¡¯t.¡±


    Chen Feier was a bit puzzled, ¡°Man Man, when you first started school, you said you were going to chase him but now a semester has passed and you two should have a good relationship, right? So when are you going to confess your love?¡±


    Zhang Man sighed in her heart.


    Originally her intention was to go along with it until the time was right for both of them, and one day they would be naturally together.


    After all, Li Wei¡¯s situation is special. He has encountered so much and simply does not believe in feelings. She is worried that if she confesses too early, he will instead feel that she¡¯s too hasty and not serious about it.


    She is trying to use practical actions to let him feel that she likes him, and then integrate into his life little by little, so that he gets used to her presence in order not to think about those delusions of family and friends.


    However, Si Jin¡¯s appearance rang her alarm bells and sparked the desire for monopoly in her heart, and she knew it was time for her to speed up the process.


    They made small talk as they walked back.


    Outside the schoolyard are two rows of evergreen firs, which are the only lime green in a campus full of bleakness in winter. The fir is very tall, and its shape changes from wide to narrow from the bottom to the top. It is often used as a Christmas tree in the West, and at this time, with snow falling on it, it really does have the flavor of a Christmas tree.


    The two walked out of the gravel path between two rows of tall firs and ran head-on into a tall, good-looking girl.


    ¡°Hey, your name is Zhang Man, right? It¡¯s me, Si Jin.¡±


    ¡­¡­


    ¡ªTime goes back one class period.


    It¡¯s been a week since Si Jin transferred from Rong Huai. Naturally, her purpose in coming here is not to study.


    Her initial thought was good, first send breakfast to get acquainted, and then reminisce together to catch up with the past and maybe it won¡¯t take a week to take down his guard.


    Who knew that things would go so badly ¨C Xiao Li simply couldn¡¯t be bothered and refused the breakfast she sent every day. She even suspected that after a week of going to brush her face, he might still not remember her.


    For the first time in her life, Si Jin, the once-in-three-thousand-year beauty queen, began to have a headache for a man.


    On the podium, the teacher was talking about mathematics that she would never be able to understand in her life.


    Si Jin scratched her head and peeked out her phone, turning it on with boredom.


    As a result, she scrolled down to the posting that had just gone viral like crazy. Inside there is a picture of her Xiao Li, reaching out with his left hand to rub a girl¡¯s head, but the girl dodged it.


    Si Jin zoomed in on the picture and then zoomed out, the photo of the person¡¯s phone has a good resolution.


    She was dazzled for a while at first. He truly is handsome and the expression on his face in the photo was so gentle.


    Only in the next second did she react, gritting her teeth and thinking, ¡°This girl is?¡±


    So she asked a girl in her class who this girl was.


    The girl quickly showed her the last ¡°Bunny Ears Ice Beauty¡± posting, which included photos.


    Si Jin narrowed her eyes, this one is a close-up and that girl does look¡­pretty good. Wait a minute¡ªisn¡¯t this girl the one who was standing next to Li Wei when she saw him at the mall last time? Besides, when she went to deliver breakfast to Li Wei these days, it seems that this girl is also sitting next to him at the same table.


    Could it be that the two are already together? Does this mean that the handsome and gentle Xiao Li was snatched away from me?


    No way! She had just arrived and was already a step late?


    Proud as she is, interfering in the relationship of others and such are things that she will not do.


    She had to go and ask first.


    After lunch, she heard that a boy in her class noticed Zhang Man from the basketball court, so she immediately rushed over and blocked her at the exit.


    ***


    ¡°Hey, your name is Zhang Man, right? It¡¯s me, Si Jin.¡±


    The other girl did not wear a school uniform and her long curly hair was tied in a high ponytail, looking stylish and youthful.


    Zhang Man felt Chen Feier next to her immediately raise her head and chest, as if she was about to roll up her sleeves and start tearing up the other side in the next second.


    She pressed her hand and nodded her head indifferently: ¡°Yes, I¡¯m Zhang Man.¡±


    Both are sizing each other up, Zhang Man has lived her life again and has a good temperament so she just looked at the other calmly.


    But Si Jin is a lot more presumptuous, she practically moves in a slow-motion just like in movies, sizing her up from head to toe before giving her final verdict.


    ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re good.¡±


    Before Zhang Man had a chance to fire back, she came back with, ¡°Let me ask you, are you Li Wei¡¯s girlfriend?¡±


    Zhang Man shook her head and nodded again, ¡°No. But it will be soon.¡±


    Si Jin¡¯s heart rejoiced.


    She raised an eyebrow: ¡°Oh? So that means not now? Well, that¡¯s good.¡± She added, ¡°You won¡¯t stand a chance, then.¡±


    She said and waved her goodbye and walked away with a flourish.


    Zhang Man pursed her lips. That girl is quite pretty and straightforward.


    But when she thought of the cold and aloof youth, her heart did not worry at all.


    He wouldn¡¯t like someone else, right? Zhang Man silently blamed herself in her heart.


    That youth, whether in his previous life or this life, had embraced her so tenderly as he looked into her eyes, hiding all his mistrust of the world and his inner darkness, giving her the most gentle side of him.


    It¡¯s been almost a semester since school started.


    He really has changed a lot.


    At the very beginning, he didn¡¯t even bother to care when others hurt him and his world was nothing else but physics. It was as if nothing in this world could make him stay for a moment.


    But such a person lost control because of her and beat the people who tried to bully her to death. Every night, he escorts her past a dim streetlight and a field of fallen leaves until she arrives downstairs of the building. Accompany her to the bar to solve her problems, accompany her to Uncle Xu¡¯s house and act as a support.


    He took the trouble to talk her through her problems, patted her back and comforted her when she was sad, and bought her Christmas presents.


    In just one semester, there have been so many memories and interactions between her and him, a youth who, because of her, stepped into the mundane mortal world step by step.


    Zhang Man is now incredibly sure that the youth she loves must also like her in his heart and, only like her.


    How could she suspect that he would be easily snatched away?


    ¡­¡­


    Li Wei has little appetite after the punishment, so he sits in the classroom to review some of the contents of the ¡°Theory of General Relativity¡±.


    It is a derivation about the ¡°Rindler Coordinates/Space¡± that came out long ago.


    The tip of the pen pokes through the thin draft paper.


    He closed the book in annoyance and looked out the window, filled with the girl¡¯s white face, full of tears. Once again, his heart felt like it was being gripped tightly, and that dull pain was suffocating him.


    He tried to think if he had done something wrong to make her so sad, so sad to the point that those tears seemed to bubble out as if they were worthless.


    He pondered again why when she was sad, he was sadder. How can one person¡¯s emotions be dictated by another person?


    Such questions are more difficult to solve than extrapolating from a large area, and he could not find the only answer.


    ¡°Li Wei, no, Brother Li, can I ask you something?¡±


    The youth heard a voice and turned his head.


    The speaker is Liu Chang and he has some impression, the two are classmates in middle school.


    Liu Chang rubbed his hands together and sat down on Zhang Man¡¯s seat with a smile.


    Perhaps because of guilt that time he hit Li Wei, resulting in his arm bone fracture, the hostility towards him has faded a lot.


    He also heard a lot of rumors about him when he was in middle school, and looked at him as a maverick and a stranger who was very unpleasant, so he has never had a good look at him.


    But after getting along for a long time, he found out that the dude really doesn¡¯t care, or maybe a mentally ill person has a different mindset than an ordinary person.


    Anyway, no matter what people¡¯s attitude towards him is, whether they like him or isolate him, he has always kept to himself and concentrated on his own business.


    Li Wei nodded expressionlessly, ¡°Say.¡±


    ¡°That¡­ Brother Li, I want to ask something about you¡­ You act indifferent normally and have a bad reputation¡­ er, h-how did you manage to capture our two school flowers¡­? Did you know that when Goddess Si Jin buys you breakfast every day, Sister Zhang always feels jealous about you receiving it just like that. There¡¯s even a time when I just got out of class and saw her standing there with red eyes, and she must have been crying over it the whole time.¡±


    The youth¡¯s eyes stiffened slightly and it took a while before he asked, ¡°Jealous?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, just during recess when Si Jin came over to bring you breakfast, I saw Sister Zhang¡¯s eyes were about to spit fire, staring at that breakfast like she wanted to tear a hole. She¡¯s definitely jealous.¡±


    As soon as Liu Chang¡¯s words fell, he saw that the youth, who had been expressionless before, seemed to have slightly hooked the corners of his mouth.


    He rubbed his eyes and the youth¡¯s smile had disappeared, so fast that he doubted if it was just his own illusion.


    Well, it must be an illusion. He strongly suspected that this buddy had a problem with his ¡°funny bone¡± or something since he hadn¡¯t seen him smile for three years in middle school.


    He was just going to continue to ask the root of the problem when his bitchy tablemate called him in a loud voice and said something very scary: ¡°Hey, Liu Chang! You haven¡¯t written your math homework yet, right? How can you chat there? It¡¯s due at the end of lunch break!¡±


    Liu Chang froze, remembering the math teacher Yang Min whose face is like the exterminator and shouted with a tremor: ¡°I forgot, I f*cking forgot! Let me borrow yours!¡±


    The other side rejected him coldly.


    At that moment, the youth, whom he had hated for three years, suddenly shoved an exercise book into his hand.


    ¡°Mine.¡±


    Liu Chang was flattered as he opened his mouth and picked up the extremely valuable notebook of assignments.


    ¡°Jealous?¡±


    The youth looked sideways out the window, the corners of his lips gradually curled up.


    The gentlest thing in the world is the March rain and the warm winter sun. At the moment the sunlight outside is just right, slanting into the windowsill and on it lays a shovelful of snow that melts silently in the sunlight.


    It was so gentle¡ªso gentle as if it could melt the ice inside him.

 CH 33

    While the lunch break was still in progress, Si Jin got the answer and went to the door of the Class 1 without delay.


    She decided to show her cards.


    When the youth was called out, there was an enigmatic tenderness in his eyes, so much so that it gave Si Jin a false impression.


    This is the same gentle little brother she always remembered, the one who found her on the street and took her back.


    It must be because he didn¡¯t know her well enough that he refuses to eat breakfast she gave him every day.


    The youth¡¯s voice was soft, like the leaves falling down from trees in autumn and winter: ¡°Is something wrong?¡±


    Si Jin cleared her throat and said solemnly, ¡°Xiao Li, do you know who I am?¡±


    He shook his head expressionlessly.


    Si Jin¡¯s eyes were expectant, and her voice was sweet: ¡°I¡¯m Si Jin. I¡¯m Si Yi¡¯s sister, and I stayed in an orphanage with you when I was little.¡±


    As soon as the words left her mouth, she saw the little brother in front of her frowning a little, seemingly remembering something.


    Yes, remember quickly! You and I were childhood friends and spent two years together in the orphanage. When he remembers, he will be very excited and there is nothing to worry about Zhang Man, right?


    Sure enough, the gentle little brother nodded his head.


    After that, he¡­he did not ask anymore. There was also a trace of inquiry in his eyes, as if he was asking, ¡°So what?¡±


    Si Jin continued guiding: ¡°Do you remember the year you first came to the orphanage, I ran away from the orphanage because of hunger, walked to a candy store that I had been to before on the street, and then got lost there.¡±


    ¡°My elder brother was so desperate that he couldn¡¯t find me anywhere, and everyone didn¡¯t know where I would go. It was only you who said at the time that I must be in that candy store and eventually found me.¡±


    ¡°I still remember that time I wanted to eat candy, the shopkeeper said I did not have money and refused to give me anything, and kicked me out. When I was sitting on the floor crying, you came and helped me pay for the candy and took me by the hand to take me back. You are so smart. Obviously you are only a few months older than me, but you remember the way back to the orphanage very well¡­¡±


    She spoke with nostalgia.


    At that time, that little boy was really gentle. He can also remember things she always muttered before, just like going to that candy store where no one else took what a kid said to heart and yet he remembered it¡­ he was smart and gentle.


    However, after she finished recalling this very warm memory in her mind, the youth in front of her only nodded coldly.


    And he started looking at his watch, seemingly a little impatient.


    Si Jin was a little dumbfounded, but picked up again: ¡°Li Wei, I like you very much, are you willing to be with me?¡±


    After listening to her long recollections, the youth finally heard the conclusion.


    He shook his head, ¡°No.¡±


    Finally, I can go back to reading.


    Si Jin stood at the door, looking at the back of the youth; her entire body was somewhat petrified.


    Seriously speaking, ever since she started to understand a little, no one has ever rejected her so directly, except for the owner of that candy store back then and¡­Li Wei. She gritted her teeth and felt a little aggrieved, obviously it was such a fond memory but how come he didn¡¯t take it seriously at all?


    It¡¯s really odd.


    Si Jin stood in place and thought for a while, headed to her classroom, sat down in her seat and started browsing the postings.


    With her years of experience, if you want to know all kinds of gossip about a school, the best choice is to go to the postings site of the school.


    As expected, she didn¡¯t have to turn a few pages to see a sticky red posting from the month of October. There is a picture inside with a handsome looking boy, wearing a handsome tuxedo, holding a bouquet of lilies in his hand and handing it to a girl standing on stage holding a guitar.


    She looked at the comments below and raised her eyebrows, the corners of her mouth slightly hooked.


    Qin Shuai, the popular figure in the First High School, is also the head of the Arts and Literature Department, ¡°This is¡­interesting.¡±


    Si Jin followed her elder brother¡¯s example and rubbed her chin.


    Li Wei is difficult to get, she can only start from Zhang Man¡¯s side.


    She had heard long ago that Li Wei had a bad reputation at school, and they all said he was a psychopath.


    She spent two years in the orphanage with him back then, and there have been rumors of this as well.


    But she vaguely remembered that although he was cold to people, he was in fact a very gentle person, otherwise he would not have taken her hand and led her back.


    And Zhang Man doesn¡¯t know that, even if she likes Li Wei now, if there is an equally good and normal person pursuing her passionately, what will happen is anyone¡¯s guess.


    The more she thought about it, the brighter her eyes were. Since that is the case, she didn¡¯t have the heart to read any books that gave her an unbearable headache and went straight to find Qin Shuai in the afternoon after class.


    When Qin Shuai came out and saw that it was Si Jin, he was slightly suspicious.


    He knew this girl, of course. From the day she transferred to the school, she was a sensation because she was a ¡°once-in-a-thousand-year beauty queen¡± as per others.


    ¡°Hello senior, are you interested in working with me?¡± Si Jin was already sweet-looking coupled with a soft ¡°senior¡± call made many of the passing sophomore year olds feel weak.


    Qin Shuai was unmoved, he smiled gently, ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Does junior sister want to join our Arts and Literature Department?¡±


    Si Jin raised her index finger and shook it, beckoning to him to come over a little.


    ¡°Senior, it¡¯s like this. I want to chase Li Wei, and you want to chase Zhang Man, I think we can work together.¡±


    Qin Shuai smiled bitterly at her words, ¡°I¡¯ve already been rejected twice.¡±


    In addition to that movie ticket, he has given gifts since then, which have also been rejected.


    Si Jin hooked the corner of one side of her mouth: ¡°You wouldn¡¯t understand this but do you know what girls really want? Do as I say and you¡¯re guaranteed to succeed!¡±


    Qin Shuai looked at her sure gaze and had some doubts in his heart, however, he thought of Zhang Man¡ª what if he risked once more¡­? Maybe she really has a way.


    So he smiled and raised his eyebrows, ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to work with you.¡±


    ¡­¡­


    When Zhang Man returned from her walk, she noticed that Li Wei had been looking at her. She touched her face and was somewhat confused.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°¡­nothing.¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was low and husky, like a slightly coarse dust grain in the sunlight.


    Zhang Man sat down, but he still did not withdraw his eyes.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡±


    ¡°I think Si Jin is not as pretty as you.¡±


    The youth lowered his eyes, and the devil knows how hard it was for a man like him to say those words.


    But he said it anyway.


    Earlier in Si Jin¡¯s long speech, he carefully observed the other¡¯s eyes, nose, and mouth¡ªcompared to Zhang Man, there¡¯s really nothing better about that girl.


    Si Jin is so tall that he can¡¯t use his most accustomed perspective when talking to her. He likes the fact that once he looks down, he can see the lovely swirl of hair on the top of the girl¡¯s head in front of her, and when he gets close he can smell the smell of her hair. Her skin is also not as white as Zhang Man¡¯s, and her eyes are not watery enough.


    Anyway, it¡¯s just not as pretty as she is.


    No one can compare to her. As soon as he sees her, his heart itches.


    Zhang Man heard his words and froze slightly, and only after a long time did she realize that he was making up for answering the question she had asked him when standing in punishment earlier.


    Zhang Man felt some joy in her heart.


    ¡°How do you know? She came to see you again?¡±


    Didn¡¯t you say you didn¡¯t notice it at all before?


    ¡°Um¡­just now.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart still inevitably tightened: ¡°Then¡­¡­what did she say to you?¡±


    The youth¡¯s eyes flicked to the left, recalling her words, ¡°She asked me if I would like to be with her.¡±


    Zhang Man swallowed and reached out to tug on his sleeve: ¡°How did you answer?¡±


    ¡°I said, no.¡±


    ¡°Pfft¡°


    Zhang Man couldn¡¯t hold back and laughed out loud. So straightforward, it¡¯s really his style.


    ¡­¡­


    Back in the evening, Zhang Man sat on the bed and began to plan the confession afterwards.


    January 10th is Li Wei¡¯s birthday and it¡¯s a weekend, so she wants to formally confess her love to him on that day. Counting up, there are still five days to go.


    She then called Chen Feier.


    ¡°Hey, Feier, in those romance novels you¡¯ve read, how do the female leads confess their love?¡±


    ¡°Pfft ¡­¡­ hahahahahahaha, Man Man, you falling in love is really a good thing! I find you¡¯re getting more and more adorable¡­ let me laugh for a while first, please¡­¡±


    Chen Feier is sitting at the family table, eating the evening meal her mother cooked for her, hearing her say so, soup was sprayed on the table.


    Zhang Man was speechless, but it was good that she stopped laughing after a while.


    ¡°Ahem, in most of the romance novels I¡¯ve read, it¡¯s the male lead who confesses.¡±


    She went on to say: ¡°Man Man, haven¡¯t you heard the saying? A woman pursues a man through a veil while men chasing women are a mountain apart. If you want to confess your love, just go straight on and be done with it instead of doing so many tricks.¡±


    ¡°Is it¡­?¡±


    Zhang Man pondered deeply. That still needs some kind of preparation, right? It can¡¯t be that when the two of them are writing their homework she can suddenly come up with a ¡°Li Wei, I like you¡±, right?


    That would be too weird.


    In fact, this is something that is really difficult for Zhang Man to express. Remember that time with Zhang Huifang? Well, it took several days of consideration and courage for her to do it.


    The same is true for Li Wei.


    Taciturn people tend to have a much richer inner world than the next person, but when they really have to say the words out loud, they are abashed.


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll think about it.¡±


    Who knew that things would go awry when she had planned it so well?


    It¡¯s Friday and PE class is twice a week.


    Both Class 1 and Class 15 happen to have PE classes, and Class 15 is, well, the Arts class that Si Jin is in.


    Because it rained and snowed again a few days ago, the field was full of water, so the teacher took the girls to the gym and asked them to practice volleyball in pairs for the final exam.


    Zhang Man¡¯s original partner was Zhou Xiaoqi, however just after the two paired up a group, she was called away by another girl. Zhang Man was bored practicing on her own, just as Si Jin came over and picked up the volleyball she dropped on the ground.


    ¡°Zhang Man, could you come to the field for a while, I have something to say to you.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t we talk about it now?¡±


    Si Jin shook her head, ¡°No, there are too many people here.¡±


    Zhang Man did not want to go at first but Si Jin said she wanted to talk to him about Li Wei when he was a child so she thought about it and agreed. According to her personality, she can¡¯t think of any harmful ideas.


    As a result, after arriving at the field, she didn¡¯t find Si Jin, but saw Qin Shuai instead.


    Zhang Man probably guessed what was going on and couldn¡¯t help but be a little helpless.


    When Qin Shuai saw her, his eyes shone lightly as he walked over, ¡°Sorry for asking Si Jin to call you, I was afraid that if I asked you to come, you would refuse again.¡±


    He remembered what Si Jin had told him earlier, that to impress a girl¡¯s heart, temptation is not an option.


    How will the other party believe you when you have kept a retreat for yourself?


    Be sure to always be sincere and let her feel how important she is to you.


    No matter how introverted a girl¡¯s personality is, she can¡¯t stand sweet words spoken from the heart.


    So he walked up to her, looking more serious than ever: ¡°Zhang Man, I¡¯ve really liked you for a long time, from the very moment I first saw you. In fact, I lied that day, and your show can be on stage without joining the Arts and Literature Department.¡±


    ¡°Later, at the National Day Performance, I asked someone to buy flowers, and I originally wanted to confess my love to you that day, but I was afraid to scare you away.¡±


    ¡°Those two movie tickets¡­ I picked them at home for days¡­ I didn¡¯t like watching romance but when I thought that if I could go with you, I thought only romance would be the most appropriate. ¡°


    ¡°Zhang Man, I¡¯ve never felt this way about any girl before you, so if you¡¯re willing, can you be my girlfriend?¡±


    When he finished, he looked down at her very seriously, with a hint of tension in his eyes.


    For the first time, he refrained from further probing, but directly and sincerely confessed his heart.


    However, after she was silent for a long time, he had a feeling that it would not work out this time either.


    Sure enough, despite the girl¡¯s expression having some reluctance, she still shook her head firmly.


    No words were spoken.


    Qin Shuai felt a slight pain inside, but at the same time a heavy burden was put down as though there had always been a thing hidden in his heart, and now that he had gone and done it, he was finally able to let it go.


    She didn¡¯t say anything, just shook her head, which was better than giving him a good guy card. He looked at the girl¡¯s expression and knew she had the heart to take him seriously.


    He raised his hand to touch her head. The feeling is better than expected, although his tone is slightly low, it¡¯s not full of sadness: ¡°Zhang Man, this is already the 3rd time you rejected me. I can¡¯t wait for something to happen but I wish you happiness in the future.¡±


    Without waiting for Zhang Man to answer, he turned around and left.


    ¡­¡­


    While Qin Shuai confessed his love, Si Jin blocked Li Wei, who had just finished eating, at the entrance of the canteen.


    She walked over and tried to pat the youth on the shoulder, but he took a step back and avoided it. The two brushed past each other, and Li Wei didn¡¯t say a word to her.


    Si Jin grimaced, a little speechless, thinking that this pretty little brother of hers is really hard to chase.


    She went after him again, ¡°Li Wei, are you free this Saturday?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°What about¡­Sunday?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    The corner of Si Jin¡¯s mouth twitched: ¡°Then tell me, when will you be free? You can¡¯t be busy for the rest of your life, right?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve always been busy, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re asking¡±


    Si Jin was struck by his words and froze all over. ¡°No way¡­ he¡¯s not so heartless¡­ right?¡±


    Something snapped within her, and then she walked over and reached out to stop him and ruthlessly said: ¡°Qin Shuai just asked Zhang Man to meet him and she went. Now Qin Shuai should have finished confessing with Zhang Man, and I guess she probably already agreed to it, you only have me now.¡±


    She said and made another cut: ¡°I have imparted to him the sincerity and tenderness that girls want most, and it will definitely work. He is as good as you but also sunny and cheerful, which girl will not agree to go out with him. And I saw that picture on the posting, she was obviously very happy when she received his flowers, she should have a little fondness for Qin Shuai in her heart too, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    As she spoke, she saw the calm breaking violently in the eyes of the youth in front of her, a rare storm arose, and he became a whole different person in an instant. He took a big step forward and squeezed her shoulder, ¡°Where is she?¡±


    The voice was urgent, sort of hoarse like the coarse north wind, making Si Jin shiver directly. She felt a burst of pain in her shoulders in his strength.


    But she still didn¡¯t want to talk about it, biting her lip to keep quiet.


    The whole aura of the youth is getting colder and colder, Si Jin noticed that his eyes began to flood with an abnormal red, not the kind of moist red, but a dry, bloodshot red.


    He took a deep breath and seemed to be trying to suppress some kind of emotion. He released her, but still stared straight into her eyes, ¡°I¡¯ll ask again, where is she?¡±


    It was clear that he was no longer restraining her, but Si Jin felt even more terrible.


    At this instant, her heart was suddenly afraid, and her voice was a little shaky: ¡°In¡­the field.¡±


    She turned her head away from him, her nails already pinched into the palm of her hand. Since she was a child, with her brother around, where had she ever been treated like this?


    He was too scary and the look in his eyes just now even made her feel that he was going to kill her in the next second if she kept silent. ¡°Isn¡¯t it just Zhang Man, what¡¯s the big deal? I  didn¡¯t even touch a hair on her head so why would he do that? ¡°


    Si Jin squatted down, a wave of fear and aggression came over her and the tears began to fall out of control.


    As she cried, she heard the youth whisper, ¡°You say you like me because I¡¯m gentle? You¡¯ve seen it just now, haven¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Get someone else to like.¡±


    ¨CExcept for her, there¡¯s no one in this place that deserves his tender attention.


    After saying this, he walked away.


    Si Jin crouched on the ground and cried for about two minutes. Then, she stood up, wiped her tears and pouted her lips. She kicked the roadside steps with some annoyance, but the kind of light soft-sided sneakers she wore caused her toes a painful pain.


    She grimaced and screamed, still in pain, and sat down again for a while.


    She thought sullenly, ¡°What gentle little brother? All the memories and stuff are lies! He is just a psycho who I don¡¯t care about!¡±


    ¡­¡­


    When Li Wei arrived at the field Qin Shuai had already left and Zhang Man was walking down from the bleachers.


    There was still thin snow on the entire bleachers, and the school didn¡¯t have anyone come to clear it. There was a lot of water on the field, and every time he stepped on the ground, the synthetic track seemed to ooze water. On such a gloomy and snowy day, almost no one would come to the field which was cold and quiet, but it made his mood more irritable.


    Winter nightfall is fast and at 5:00 the sky is already dark throughout and the streetlights in the field are starting to light up.


    He ran fast all the way and had never been so panicked before. The dull pain in his heart was too much for him to bear any longer.


    He wanted to see her in the next second.


    Finally, Li Wei spotted her in the east stands. He saw her figure from afar and saw she was alone.


    The restlessness and difficulty in his heart relaxed slightly, but he probably couldn¡¯t sleep peacefully afterwards unless he asked her himself.


    He went over and stopped her.


    Over here, Zhang Man was thinking about confessing to Li Wei tomorrow, and didn¡¯t expect the youth to appear in front of her the next second.


    He looked serious, his lips were pale, and his whole body looked like it had gone through a big storm. His eyes were crawling with dried blood and his hair was messy and woefully out of place.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart tightened: ¡°Li Wei, what¡¯s wrong with you?¡±


    ¡°Did you accept it?¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was hoarse, the knot in his throat twitched, and his knuckles were white.


    He thought to himself that this feeling of nervousness seemed to have been something he had rarely had for as long as he could remember. He was afraid she would nod, in which case he didn¡¯t know what he would do.


    He remembers when he was little, his grandfather took him out of the hospital and went to the orphanage without even returning home. He told him in the car that it was to take him to meet a friend of his.


    He was also holding a toy which was a race car that his dad had bought for him previously, and while grandpa and the friend were talking, he was sitting on the couch next to him playing with the race car.


    He heard them talking, saying things like ¡°schizophrenia, money, foster care¡±. He has always been a very intelligent child, and at a young age he actually knows a lot of things and has already sensed something.


    Later, Grandpa told him that he had to go to the bathroom and told him to sit obediently in the room and wait. He didn¡¯t listen, got up with that race car and took Grandpa¡¯s hand.


    He remembers when he asked his Grandpa if he could go with him.


    That was the only time in his life he had asked someone to stay.


    But Grandpa let go of his hand.


    That day he bawled in the dean¡¯s office for a long time and refused to leave no matter who came to pull him. That little boy doesn¡¯t have any attachment to anything since he was born and he also had such a hard time and imagined that his Grandpa indeed had something to do and would be back after a while.


    But Grandpa never came back.


    He didn¡¯t even contact him for the next ten years. Even after he applied for release from the orphanage, he sent just one of his subordinates over to hand over the legacy left by his father to him.


    From the beginning to the end, Grandpa never showed his face.


    He used to think that it would be difficult for anything in this world to make him this nervous.


    But now there¡¯s her¡­ The girl who made him so nervous that his internal organs shrank together is standing in front of him, at a distance that was just one step away from him.

 CH 34

    ¡ª ¡°Did you accept it?¡±


    Hearing the urgent question of the youth, Zhang Man froze, and after a moment guessed that he was probably talking about the matter of Qin Shuai.


    Her heart caved in fast at this moment.


    His eyes were red, his hair was disheveled, his tone carried the usual panic and impatience, and he came rushing forward regardless of the situation, losing his composure and calmness, just to ask her this question.


    Zhang Man thought of the youth who stood in front of the school and blocked her in her previous life and how similar his reddened eyes and painful expression were at this time.


    Her heart ached, but with a touch of warmth and sweetness that did not belong to the winter night.


    He eventually took her to heart, as he had in his previous life.


    Emotions came pouring out like a spring¡ªZhang Man took a deep breath and her fingertips began to tremble.


    She laughed softly, her voice soft as moonlight in the dimly lit field.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t like him.¡±


    These few words were like heavenly music to the young man in front of her.


    It turned out that she didn¡¯t accept it. This girl who would only cry and act like a baby at him didn¡¯t become someone else¡¯s.


    A certain string taut inside the youth, at this moment suddenly loosened, the blood frozen in his body flows again and he can hear his heart beating enthusiastically in his chest cavity.


    ¡ªLike a rebirth after the robbery.


    Fate has not abandoned him once again, as it did when he was seven years old.


    However, even though the deadly threat was gone, the pain in his heart was not relieved in any way.


    In this instant, the youth, who was usually cold to the core, suddenly realized how greedy he was.


    He wants so much more than that.


    On the dim steps with a little cold wind, he quietly gazed at the girl in front of him, the nerves beating in the corner of his forehead and the intense pain in his heart, told him the only answer behind all the questions.


    It finally dawned on him at this moment.


    All he ever wanted was her.


    That¡¯s why every time he saw her, his heart itched. When she¡¯s sad it¡¯s twice as hard, and when she¡¯s bullied, he starts to go crazy.


    He wanted to hold her in his arms at every moment.


    He figured out that the kind of heart-bursting pain that he had never experienced before was fondness. He unknowingly had someone living in his heart¡ªthe petite girl standing in front of him.


    He likes her.


    He finally understood that the feeling of liking someone is pain. Whenever he saw her, there would be a dull pain somewhere in his heart.


    But humans are just strange, the more pain, the more they want to touch.


    As a result, the youth who never hoped for illusory feelings suddenly wanted to hit this wall with his flesh and blood.


    He wanted her to like him too, even if just a little.


    ¡ª ¡°If you don¡¯t like him, then, do you like me?¡±


    The youth¡¯s low voice rang out unexpectedly, breaking the silence of the pale night.


    Zhang Man looked into his eyes, his eyes that carry unbearable pain and depression.


    His cautious look at her and his hoarse voice carried a strong restraint, so much that even his breathing stopped.


    Zhang Man froze completely.


    He actually asked her if she liked him.


    Her heart is beating violently while her brain goes blank.


    She was obviously ready to confess her love to him tomorrow, but today he asked so bluntly that her brain instantly got stuck.


    She wanted to tell him that she had always, always liked him, that he was her favorite person in the world but her mouth was completely disobedient.


    People are sometimes like this, the more eager they are, the more difficult it is to speak, and what shows up is a brief silence.


    However, such silence is fatal to the youth who is going crazy in front of her.


    The pain inside him, in this instant, reached its peak as he greedily stared at the girl in front of him, at her fair face, and at her watery eyes.


    He felt as if he was on the verge of numbness from the pain.


    She isn¡¯t saying anything¡­ Is it because she doesn¡¯t like me?


    In that case, what should I do? How¡­can I relieve such pain?


    And yet, even if his legs feel like it will crumple the next moment¡­ In front of her, he is willing to put down all his pride, and self-respect.


    If once doesn¡¯t work, then do it twice.


    The youth took a deep breath, moved a little closer, tried to lighten his breathing and gently put his hand on the young girl¡¯s shoulder and looked her straight in the eyes.


    His voice is filled with unbearable compromise and uncontrollable pain.


    ¡ª ¡°Zhang Man, if you don¡¯t like him, like me, okay, hmm?¡±


    His voice was hoarse and his breathing, with a bit of a thick nasal sound, already had a careful pleading in his tone.


    ¡°¡­I will be very good to you in the future, so please like me, okay?¡±


    Zhang Man had already red eyes, the sourness in her throat made her unable to speak, but for a long while found that she actually did not need to speak.


    She was now standing on the steps, almost as tall as he was so she could easily hug him tighter by taking a slight step forward.


    And so she did.


    She flung herself hard into the youth¡¯s arms, hugging his back tightly and resting her head on his shoulder, her involuntary spurt of tears wetting the collar of his school uniform.


    Unlike those previous hugs, there is no more excuse or reason for it except for the joy in her heart, she hugged the youth she had loved for two lifetimes.


    Li Wei¡¯s body instantly tightened the moment she held him tight.


    The warmth of her chest made it possible for his violently fluctuating emotions to gradually begin to relax.


    Zhang Man leaned close to his ear, her voice, like her whole person, was shaking slightly from too much excitement.


    ¡°I¡¯ve always liked you, Li Wei. I¡¯ve liked you for a long, long time.¡±


    So long that this love has sunk into her bones and blood and become a part of her life.


    Long after he left in the previous life, she went to so many places but regardless of where she was, what people she met, every time she thought of him, a certain part of her heart began to ache.


    So long that when she saw him again in this life, she desperately wanted to hold him tight and never let go.


    Zhang Man remembered the love letter that the youth placed on her desk in the previous life.


    He had asked her in a letter if she could stay with him forever.


    And at this moment, while holding him in her arms, she can finally give her reply, saying it tenderly but firmly in his ear.


    ¡°From now on, I will always be with you forever.¡±


    Not only to him that she is embracing now, but also to the one who waited desperately for a long time in his previous life, but did not receive an answer.


    She finished and looked at the earlobe of the youth in front of her.


    His earlobes look great, not too thin or thick, perfectly shaped, with a blood-red mole on top, looking sexy and seductive.


    It¡¯s hard to control yourself when you¡¯re in love.


    She came up and kissed the youth¡¯s near earlobe, and opened her mouth to bite the bright red mole.


    The body she was holding shuddered hard.


    She clearly saw that the tips of the youth¡¯s ears began to glow red, and that ambiguous redness traveled all the way to the neck.


    Then he also tightened his arms around her, with much more force than she had, as if he wanted to rub her whole body into his arms.


    His voice was full with unspeakable ecstasy as he recited her name over and over again, unable to say anything meaningful: ¡°Zhang Man, Zhang Man¡­¡±


    ¡­¡­


    The embrace continued for an unknown length of time and after that intense emotion was over and calmed down, the two of them were actually a little nervous and shy, so they never spoke.


    But the youth still held her tight.


    Afraid that she was tired of standing, he also wrapped his arm around her waist to let her lean completely in his arms.


    The pain in the heart seems to be cathartic only through a tighter and tighter embrace and all they have now is each other.


    The faint lights on the field didn¡¯t reach them, and the two hid in the shadows, the darkness around them making their breaths burn a little.


    The noisy background sounds of the teaching area seemed far, far away. The two could hear each other¡¯s breathing clearly, even their heartbeats, which seemed to be getting faster and faster, communicated through their tightly pressed chests as the frequency became consistent.


    Both are nervous.


    Zhang Man quietly hugged the youth¡¯s sturdy waist, the tip of her heart shivered, and was filled with tenderness and joy. At this time in her previous life, she and Li Wei were still just a nodding acquaintance and later had those misunderstandings and missed each other completely. In the end, she even lost him forever.


    But now, from now on, the youth whose ears were red in her embrace was hers.


    He¡¯s her boyfriend.


    Her heart began to burn at the thought of these three words.


    Zhang Man remembered what the youth just said. He said he would be very good to her in the future. She hugged him tightly and thought to herself, it is she who will be very, very good to him. Let him remember at all times, in this world, there is a person who loves him so much.


    She wanted him to have something to hold on to.


    At that moment, a loud bell came from the other side of the school building, a 15-minute warm-up call before the start of the evening study period.


    Zhang Man¡¯s face began to burn slightly. Surprisingly, it was so late and that means that they had just embraced for at least 20 minutes or so.


    She let go of the hands holding him, gently pushed the youth and did not expect his strength to be great. Her push did not even move him.


    She raised her head, looked at the side of the youth¡¯s face, and spoke with a little stutter: ¡°Li¡­L-Li Wei, th-there are still another 15 minutes of class, l-let¡¯s go back, shall we?¡±


    Unexpectedly, the youth shook his head, and did not let go of her hand and hugged her waist to hold her tighter, he even rubbed his face on her cheek.


    ¡°Let¡¯s skip class today and not go back, okay? I want to hold you like this all night.¡±


    His voice was muffled and his eyes weren¡¯t looking at her. She didn¡¯t know what he was thinking.


    He suddenly looked like a child at this time and his usual calmness and sanity were thrown away somewhere.


    Zhang Man smiled: ¡°No, today the class teacher is sitting in class, if I¡¯m not there, he will call my mother. Uncle Xu had a hard time asking her out today. You don¡¯t want to disturb their date do you?¡±


    The youth neither spoke nor moved, his heart still reluctant.


    As if to avoid her question, he buried his face sideways on her neck and his long, wet, hot breath made her skin itch, and she was too embarrassed to move her head.


    Zhang Man¡¯s cheeks were hot, not daring to look at him and coaxed him in a low voice: ¡°Li Wei, I am already your girlfriend. We have a long time ahead of us.¡±

 CH 35

    ¡°Li Wei, I am already your girlfriend. We have a long time ahead of us.¡±


    When she said the word ¡°girlfriend¡±, the youth¡¯s body trembled and he turned his face to look at her in disbelief after a moment.


    His eyes held such a bright light, full of ecstasy.


    ¡°Girlfriend?¡± He asked back, afraid he¡¯d misheard.


    God knows, when he heard these words, his whole body suddenly felt like being struck by lightning, and he couldn¡¯t say anything.


    He thought he was lucky that she liked him, but what did she just say?


    She was his girlfriend now?


    She was already his? She is his?


    Zhang Man took this opportunity to push him away to see his frozen look and pouted, ¡°Did you think I would let you hold me for so long if I wasn¡¯t your girlfriend?¡±


    ¨CShe forgot that she had hugged him for a long time before too, when she wasn¡¯t.


    She wanted to tease him again and said in a regretful tone, ¡°You don¡¯t think so? Then forget it¡­¡±


    But the next second, she was wrapped around her waist and picked up. It was one of those hugs where her feet were off the ground, and he picked her up and carried her in a gentle circle.


    Zhang Man could see in his eyes that there seemed to be many, many stars shining so brightly.


    The youth¡¯s heart began to feel painful again.


    He felt that he had become so greedy and if one¡¯s greed for a world has a fixed value, then his former desire to talk, to be indifferent, to give up, suddenly seemed to accumulate because of her.


    ¨CIt turns out there is such a person in the world that whenever you see her, you want to hold her in your arms. And when you really hold her, you still want more.


    He let the girl in his arms down and pressed against her forehead as he approached cautiously, almost uncontrollably, to kiss the corner of her lips, but paused when he came closer.


    No, we have to take our time.


    He never had much luck and couldn¡¯t use it all up tonight. Like she said, there¡¯s a long time ahead.


    ¡­¡­


    When the two walked back from the field, Zhang Man only felt that the road was extraordinarily long, and she didn¡¯t know where to put her hands and feet. They¡¯re obviously already boyfriend and girlfriend, and she wants to go over and hold his hand but she can¡¯t move her hand no matter how her brain commands it.


    Just then, she felt the back of the youth¡¯s hand come over and touch hers. It seemed that after sensing that she wasn¡¯t dodging, it went around to her palm and gently took her hand.


    Ten fingers interlocked.


    She was led forward, her heart suddenly racing, and in the darkness, the corners of her mouth curled up while her eyes twinkled looking at the back of the youth¡¯s head.


    Holding hands is a very peculiar thing. Although there is obviously not as much touching as hugging, the tactile sensitivity of nerves in the fingers is so sharp. She could feel his knuckles wrapped around her, the dry warmth of his palms, and the gentle force with which he tugged her forward.


    Everything is too gentle for words.


    But it didn¡¯t last long, Zhang Man is still too thin-skinned. When they reached a crowded place, she talked her way out of it, and the youth finally agreed to let go. But when he let go, his eyes then began to stop looking at the road and stare firmly at her.


    It was as if she would disappear in the next second.


    ¡°Li Wei, I¡¯m not going to take extra lessons tomorrow.¡±


    As soon as the words left her mouth, the youth stood still and came over to take her hand again, his voice a little nervous: ¡°Why? Is something wrong?¡±


    The corners of Zhang Man¡¯s mouth curved up, and she gently squeezed his palm: ¡°Because tomorrow I¡¯m going to spend your birthday with you.¡±


    The youth froze for a long moment.


    ¡°Birthday?¡± He has no recollection of a birthday, nor has he even reacted to the fact that tomorrow is his birthday.


    But she just said that she was going to celebrate his birthday tomorrow. The youth¡¯s expression suddenly lit up, and he lowered his head to look at her, his voice very soft: ¡°Zhang Man¡­¡­can I call you Man Man from now on?¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was on fire, her whole heart was pounding. She looked at him and nodded with a smile.


    In the winter night, the evening breeze is bleak and there are not many people present outside the school building at this time, the dim streetlights on the campus stretch the shadows of both of them.


    The youth, who was usually cold in nature, pulled her to stand by the wall next to the school building and called her one after another, ¡°Man Man, Man Man¡ª¡°


    These two words were different from Chen Feier and Zhang Huifang when they came out of his mouth. His hoarse voice carried an endless blaze of heat and a little repression, almost as if it could burn her heart.


    ¡­¡­


    When Zhang Man returned home that day, Zhang Huifang had only been back for a short time and was watching a family soap opera that was very popular in China this year.


    Since that time when the two made their words clear, the relationship between mother and daughter seems to have been sublimated, and although the pattern of getting along is still the same, each knows in their hearts that the other is cherished.


    ¡°Zhang Man, you said last time you were going to play in Z City tomorrow, right? Wear more, it will snow there tomorrow.¡±


    Zhang Huifang then came over and gossiped, ¡°Who are you going with? Is it the boy who sent you home last time?¡±


    When Zhang Man nodded helplessly, Zhang Huifang¡¯s eyes lit up and she took a pile of bills from her wallet, ¡°Take it and spend it.¡±


    Zhang Man took the money and was somewhat speechless. This¡­typical outlook of her mother, when can she change it¡­?


    She originally planned to wait for Li Wei¡¯s birthday to confess, so secretly bought two tickets to Z City. Z City has the largest oceanarium in the country, featuring a long underwater tunnel which Zhang Man wanted to go to in the previous life, but never had this opportunity.


    Her heart melted into a puddle when she thought of the youth who had just walked her downstairs and hugged her and wouldn¡¯t let go.


    Her original intention was to confess her love to him at the oceanarium on his birthday. But to her surprise, he came to her in a hurry, bringing it all forward by a day.


    ***


    This year N city is not yet open to high-speed rail and it is more convenient to go to Z city by bus.


    Because it was a weekend and it was almost the end of the year, there were many people in the bus station. Both bus stations and train stations are similarly repaired, with large floor-to-ceiling windows and rows of humble seats.


    Outside the window are Zhang Man¡¯s most hated rain and snow. It¡¯s cold and damp, and the water has accumulated on the ground, causing her pants and feet to be half wet. She looked sideways at the empty seat next to her, guarding the simple luggage of the two.


    Because it was a short trip, both of them only brought a backpack. Zhang Man sat dazed, and rubbed her face for a second.


    They are not yet used to these things, and when they come to mind, they can¡¯t help but giggle.


    ¡ª Just last night, he became her boyfriend, and today is his birthday as well as the first day since they got together. It¡¯s also their first time to go out.


    It¡¯s like having a honeymoon of sorts.


    After a while, the youth returned from buying breakfast and sat down beside her.


    He carefully padded her legs with several paper towels and put two layers of plastic bags to insulate and prevent dirt. He also opened the lunch box and broke up the disposable chopsticks for her.


    ¡°Man Man, you should eat. It will be a three-hour bus ride later.¡±


    He said and stroked her hair tenderly.


    Zhang Man looked up at him, the youth today wore a thick gray jacket and a black baseball cap on his head. He just came back from buying breakfast outside, and his whole body is still covered with a cold water vapor.


    But there was clearly warmth in those eyes.


    He might actually have been a meticulous person but perhaps due to the fact that he was used to living alone, it wasn¡¯t apparent. Unlike those reckless teenagers who know nothing about life at a young age, he has taken care of himself for so many years and has a lot of experience on how to live in detail.


    Such a person, if he wants to be good to a person, he can do it very, very well.


    Her heart was slightly sour and slightly sweet, smiling as she took a small dumpling and brought it to his mouth.


    ¡°Ah¡ªopen your mouth.¡±


    The bun hit his lips, it was warm and soft and had an elastic wrapper.


    The youth opened his mouth helplessly.


    Zhang Man watched him eat it and didn¡¯t mince words with her compliments, ¡°What a good boyfriend you are.¡±


    When the youth heard her words, the temperature in his eyes became more and more intense and the corners of his mouth were smiling as he came over to hold her hand. He wanted to hold it for a long time like yesterday and was now familiar with it.


    Zhang Man dodges and quickly puts a bun into his mouth.


    ¡°Stop it. Let me eat first and when I¡¯m done, we¡¯ll hold hands, okay?¡±


    After saying that, she laughed at herself. She wonders if everyone who has just fallen in love is like this. Such trivial things will be discussed as if they were serious matters.


    The youth was silent for a moment, looking at her puffy cheeks, and had to nod in compromise.


    The bus soon departs.


    The two people¡¯ seats are leaning back, and it¡¯s a good thing this bus has soft and adjustable seats. Zhang Man adjusted the seat to a comfortable angle, intending to start catching up on sleep.


    She was up almost all night last night from excitement¡ªrecalling every detail of their time together. In fact, excluding the evening study, it was obviously only a few minutes of hand holding, hugs, crying, and him whispering her name in her ear.


    But it was long enough for her to remember it ten times longer.


    Who knows that after two minutes of sleep, two children in the bus began to cry out. The bus compartment is closed and there is so much space in total that the child¡¯s cries echo in every corner within, reflecting on every plane it touches again and again.


    Zhang Man frowned. She just wanted to open her eyes but was suddenly pressed gently on the head.


    The youth let her put one ear against his shoulder, then looped his right hand around her neck and gently covered her other ear. The warmth of his palm over her ear isolated a large part of the noise, as if he had enclosed a quiet, safe little world for her.


    Zhang Man turned her head sideways and the fresh smell of his jacket was at the end of her nose. She asked him in a soft whisper, ¡°Li Wei, aren¡¯t you going to sleep? Wouldn¡¯t this be uncomfortable?¡±


    ¡°No, go to sleep.¡±


    The girl¡¯s soft hair rubbed against his neck which tickled him a bit. Li Wei¡¯s hand around her shoulder tightened, and the other hand went over to take her hand.


    How could it be uncomfortable? He wanted to touch her every moment he could. Holding hands wasn¡¯t enough, and hugging didn¡¯t seem to be enough either. Whenever he saw her, it was like he was starving for physical contact.


    Zhang Man at this angle could only see the youth¡¯s hard jawline so she couldn¡¯t help but rub the top of her head against his chin, and began to fall asleep contentedly.


    Opening her eyes until dawn last night, her eyes can¡¯t help but close this time. After a second or so, Zhang Man leaned on the shoulder of the youth and slept very deeply. She was still sleeping like a log even when the bus was about to arrive.


    The bus has gotten off the highway.


    With the windows condensed in a thick mist of water, the child in the front seat reached out and wiped the fog off the glass, probing his head to look out.


    There was already a heavy snowfall outside the window and the building and vehicles were covered with a thick roof of snow. Pedestrians on the road are either walking or running, leaving no more than a few steps for those figures to be hidden in the wind and snow.


    Li Wei¡¯s shoulders tingle slightly, the girl¡¯s breathing rang regularly in his ears as he gently turned his head and looked at her lovely hair swirl.


    It¡¯s not every year that he remembers his birthday, but for the years that he does remember, it¡¯s the same as today, a late winter with heavy snow.


    To him, there¡¯s nothing wrong with a snowy day.  It¡¯s always been quiet on the road and there won¡¯t be the hustle and bustle he always hates. Furthermore, it will never make him feel that he¡¯s out of place, in this world.


    But now there¡¯s her by his side.


    In his hand, he still holds her hand which is warm and soft.


    He thought in a trance. ¡°It turns out that in winter, there can be such a temperature.¡±


    The warmth is just right and makes his heart, just about to melt.


    The youth gently curved the corners of his mouth, lowered his head, so carefully on her hair swirl and drop a kiss.

 CH 36

    When they arrived in Z City, it was already noon. The two of them packed up their things and got off, and took a taxi straight to the Oceanarium. The Oceanarium is located on the coastline of Z City, next to the beach and the reef park.


    The sea in Z City is a bit more beautiful than in N City, with an emerald green color.


    But unfortunately, due to the heavy snowfall, the view was very limited and the magnificent view of the sea was blocked for a large part.


    Zhang Man booked tickets for the afternoon online, but this year the electronic QR code tickets are not yet popular, so you have to wait in line to pick up the tickets at the window. Zhang Man was a little surprised that there were still many tourists in such a heavy snowstorm. There were a lot of people at the window, and there was a long line. The two of them waited for almost half an hour to get their tickets.


    The Oceanarium is quite big, divided into several venues, all set in the ground. The two went first to the most prestigious main hall, Underwater World.


    The air around the venue became humid as soon as they entered, and the lights were dimmed to simulate the living environment of deep-sea fish as much as possible. Visitors walked in waves, marveling at the scenery in front of them.


    There is a huge glass wall of several floors, behind which is another world of corals, reefs and seaweeds. Countless sea creatures roam freely in it, with some strange forms of fish that Zhang Man has never seen before¡ªRays with flat bodies and broad pectoral fins, like a fan with a tail. Smaller groups of migratory fish pass between reefs and occasionally, one or two sharks with serrated teeth patrol the territory with vicious eyes.


    Zhang Man looked dazzled as well, looking at the fish while reading the cue board.


    She pulled the youth¡¯s hand and pointed to a reef: ¡°Li Wei, look at that group of fish. Aren¡¯t they cute?¡± A big school swam past, each with dull eyes.


    The youth¡¯s eyes also curved slightly, agreeing with her in all seriousness: ¡°Yeah, cute.¡±


    He coughed softly again and squeezed her palm, ¡°Call me boyfriend.¡±


    ¡ªHe wanted to hear her call him that.


    Zhang Man froze for a moment and ¡°puffed¡± out a laugh: ¡°Okay. Dear Boyfriend.¡±


    The youth held her hand tightly and the corners of his mouth rose: ¡°Hmm.¡±


    Two people continue to walk in the most famous 100-meter underwater tunnel of this underwater world. On one side of the tunnel, an automatic escalator is set up at a suitable speed, allowing people to quietly watch the huge and fantastic blue ocean with an arch-shaped glass roof at the top. From time to time, there will be many fish swimming overhead, as if they were really under the sea.


    After the tunnel, you will arrive at the connected jellyfish museum, which is the most fantastic and beautiful place for little girls. Countless transparent jellyfish like a layer of light gauze freely come and go in the water. Their original colorless bodies are hit with a light pink light, creating a gentle and beautiful effect like a dream.


    Many couples took photos together here, and some even took kissing photos with jellyfish as the background.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart also seems to have become pink. Since her rebirth, she feels that she has never been so relaxed.


    In fact, the nerves that have been tense before were not only due to Li Wei¡¯s matter, but also Zhang Huifang¡¯s. Now, it seems that one or two pieces are well resolved. Zhang Huifang got rid of Zheng Zineng while she on the other hand got together with Li Wei.


    Everything is going in a very good direction, isn¡¯t it? He¡¯s ill but he¡¯ll definitely get better from now on. Everything is still in time, she can certainly accompany him to the end, and when his hair is gray, they can still go out together to travel around.


    Zhang Man suddenly had a sour nose at this moment.


    She turned around and gently hugged the youth¡¯s waist, her voice so soft: ¡°Boyfriend, I¡¯m so happy.¡±


    The youth reached out and hugged her back, ¡°¡­¡­Well, so do I.¡±


    There was a polar bear feeding program at 4 p.m. The two of them got there on time, but it was already crowded. The entire glass wall was surrounded by water, and Zhang Man, who was less than 1.6 meters, could not see the shadow of the polar bear on her tiptoes. She was going to give up, but in the next second she was picked up from around her waist, and her feet left the ground at once, quite a bit higher than the crowd in front of her.


    Her heart warmed, she turned around and touched the top of the youth¡¯s soft hair and looked at the polar bear.


    There was only one polar bear on the other side of the glass, lying there alone, unperturbed by the people around him. Its fur is a little yellow and it looks very old.


    The keeper threw in a lot of fish and meat from the window above, but the polar bear remained on its back without much reaction. When all the food was thrown in, it opened its eyes slowly and moved its paws, only picking up the surrounding food.


    Its body did not change position during the entire meal.


    Someone next to them said, ¡°There were two polar bears here when I visited two years ago, and I heard that one of them died of old age later.¡±


    Zhang Man watched¡­ her chest sank a bit. It is all alone in this closed exhibition hall, numbed daily by people around, with no friends, no family, and the passage of time or life already seems meaningless to it.


    What is the meaning of life, really? In the least, there¡¯s more to it than just being alive¡­


    At that moment, a crisp little girl¡¯s voice rang out.


    ¡ª¡±Mom. I can¡¯t see! Pick me up!¡±


    The adult¡¯s voice was a little helpless.


    ¡ª¡±You¡¯re going to be in elementary school next year and are a big kid, why should I still have to pick you up?¡±


    ¡ª¡±No fair! Look over there. That sister is also a big kid but the big brother is still doing it! I want to do the same!¡±


    Zhang Man listened to this and the empathy that she¡¯s feeling just now due to the lonely polar bear was put down in an instant, her cheeks and ears turned red in a flash as she pulled the youth¡¯s hair, somewhat anxiously: ¡°Put me down¡­¡­¡±


    The youth seemed to be laughing lightly, supporting her gently with one hand as he slowly let her down and held her hand as they walked outside.


    Walking out of the polar bear exhibit, he looked at her and blinked, ¡°Man Man, are you shy?¡±


    Zhang Man coughed, in this regard, her face is indeed thin, and that is something she can¡¯t admit: ¡°No, I¡¯m just afraid you¡¯re tired, that¡¯s all.¡±


    He has always been tolerant of her pretensions, squeezing the palm of her hand, he nodded. ¡°Mm-hmm¡±


    From the polar bear area comes the most anticipated dolphin and sea lion show, which only takes place once during the entire afternoon session.


    The venue is like a gymnasium with a circle of stepped seats around it and a huge blue pool in the very center. The show hadn¡¯t started at this point, so the two entered with their tickets and took seats in the second row on the left.


    Soon, the seats around were filled with people.


    Most people come with their children, who are curious and ask a lot of questions, and chatter a lot.


    The coolly dressed hostess had a very standard Mandarin voice and introduced the baby dolphins and sea lions that were about to appear. When the time came, several trainers each took the dolphins and sea lions into the scene.


    The little dolphin named ¡°Beibei¡± raised its head high and twisted its white body to proudly follow the trainer to glide out of the scene, with a beautiful image like a princess under the sea.


    Sea lions are not as good, their big fleshy head droops, and its body is not as good-looking as a dolphin¡¯s, with some long gray-brown folds and a wrinkled face full of whiskers, looking more like an old man. But coupled with the chubby appearance, it also looks kinda cute apart from being silly.


    The first show was a little dolphin catching darts. The trainer first let Beibei swim in the water for a while, whistled three times, and took out a red frisbee that flew to the end of the pool. Beibei heard the signal and quickly roamed in the water, making a beautiful leap at the end of the pool to catch the Frisbee with its mouth open.


    The venue applauded grandly, Zhang Man slightly open mouth exclaimed, never thought the dolphin in the water could swim so fast!


    Next, one of the dolphins also performed simple addition and subtraction with an astounding intelligence.


    The young sea lions also completed the corresponding performance tasks, and the atmosphere of the whole scene reached its climax.


    After watching the show, it¡¯s time to interact with the little dolphins.


    Bei Bei and Qi Qi ¡°stood¡± left and right on the side of the playing field, proudly raising their heads and naturally curving their pointed mouths to the sides to look like they were smiling.


    They even waved ¡°hands¡± at the audience from time to time.


    That look is so cute that even Zhang Man can¡¯t help but be overwhelmed by her joyful feelings like a little girl, holding Li Wei¡¯s arm and laughing nonstop.


    The host went over and touched Beibei¡¯s head and said with a smile, ¡°It seems that among the friends who came today, there are a lot of beautiful women. We, Beibei, and Qi Qi have never been so excited as today. Beibei is good at everything, but he has one flaw. He is quite a lover of beautiful women, and he can¡¯t stop looking at them.¡±


    Beibei also nodded in cooperation, the wit really looks like a human child of 7 or 8 years old.


    Everyone in the room burst out laughing.


    The host told a few more jokes to heat up the atmosphere and started the main topic: ¡°Anyone in the audience, who would like to come and have a close encounter with our little dolphin Beibei? Let me see who is the most enthusiastic¡­¡±


    Everyone raised their hands enthusiastically, and a few small children were eager to rush directly to the stage, but were held and dragged by their parents to stop them.


    Zhang Man also raised her hand, and afraid that it was not enough, raised Li Wei¡¯s hand as well. The youth raised his hand somewhat helplessly, but his eyes kept looking at her, apparently interacting with the dolphin was less attractive than her.


    The host looked around the circle, saw Zhang Man¡¯s direction and smiled: ¡°This little beauty also raised the hand of the little handsome man next to her, it seems she¡¯s eager to get in touch with our Beibei. You, the girl in the white dress in the second row! You can come down now!¡±


    Zhang Man realized that the trainer was talking about her and was a little surprised.


    Hundreds of people, and she was chosen? She glanced happily at the youth next to her.


    ¡°Go.¡± He lifted a hand to her head, took the coat that sat on her lap, and nodded with a smile.


    Zhang Man walked through the audience and went to the stage.


    ¡°Oh-hoh, I haven¡¯t looked closely just now, but she¡¯s actually such a pretty girl! Our Beibei and the audience also think she¡¯s pretty, right?!¡±


    The host is very good at livening up the atmosphere.


    ¡°¡ªBeautiful!!!¡± Everyone in the arena was also giving face, and some young people even whistled towards Zhang Man.


    ¡°Tsk tsk, I will not hide it from everyone but our original intention is for Beibei to give a hug to someone, but with such a pretty girl, just a hug is not something Beibei is willing to do, isn¡¯t it Beibei?¡±


    The host smiled, shook her head and looked at the little dolphin.


    Unexpectedly, Beibei really nodded and wiggled his body to their side to ¡°walk¡± over, lifting his head on Zhang Man¡¯s arm and rubbing it, the silly look once again triggered the audience to burst out laughing and cheering.


    Zhang Man was leaning against it, her heart was in a soft mess, and she touched the little dolphin¡¯s smooth head under the guidance of the trainer.


    ¡°Then, everyone, if hugging is not an option, shouldn¡¯t a kiss be given?¡± The host once again spoke in a shocking way, but the whole room almost boiled over.

 CH 37

    Zhang Man opened her mouth in surprise, can she really kiss a dolphin?


    The trainer whispered the steps in her ear, and it turns out it wasn¡¯t really a kiss, but just a very close contact. She bent down slightly, and Beibei cooperated by raising its little head.


    Zhang Man looked at its round head and was a little embarrassed, but the little dolphin was so enthusiastic that it came over with a pout and was only a short distance from her.


    Zhang Man also cooperated, giving a good expression.


    This action, however, looked like a tangible kiss to the audience in the arena.


    They cheered and raised their cell phones to take pictures.


    ¡­¡­


    When she returned to her seat, Zhang Man was still in a state of excitement, pulling the youth¡¯s sleeve and chattering: ¡°¡­¡­ I thought it was just a handshake or something, but I didn¡¯t expect to be able to kiss the little dolphin! Li Wei, did you take a picture of me just now?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    The youth heaved his jacket into her lap, his voice was stiff and in stark contrast to her incessant rambling.


    Zhang Man looked at him sideways, his face hidden under the baseball cap and his expression not visible.


    She held him carefully, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Why does he seem to be unhappy all of a sudden?


    ¡°Nothing. It¡¯s fine.¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was muffled, and he coughed softly to hide the difference: ¡°The show is over, let¡¯s go out.¡±


    The two of them walked out with the crowd, the narrow passage was crowded with people so the youth put his arm around her waist and protected her towards the exit.


    At this time, the exhibition hall was breaking up, and in the midst of the noise, a little girl of about 7 or 8 years old, with a flat mouth, asked her father timidly, ¡°Daddy, the brother with the hat who was sitting next to us just now, does he particularly dislike the little dolphins?¡±


    The man stroked his daughter¡¯s little head and picked her up: ¡°How does Nui Nui know? The little dolphin is so cute, what kind of person doesn¡¯t like little dolphins?¡±


    The little girl¡¯s voice trembled as she buried her head into her dad¡¯s shoulder, grabbed his collar and mumbled in a milky voice: ¡°¡ªI-I just know! Th-that brother simply doesn¡¯t like them! The way he just looked at Beibei was so fierce and scary, boohoo¡­¡±


    ¡­¡­


    After watching the dolphin show, it was time to leave and Zhang Man was led out of the Oceanarium by the youth and was surprised to find that the snow outside had piled up knee-high.


    The snow is getting more and more aggressive, it cannot be described as goose feather snow anymore as most of the view is covered by the dense snow and the wind is blowing so hard that as soon as Zhang Man goes out, she can¡¯t even open her eyes. The sea next to them all became foggy, and it was impossible to see the horizon.


    The blizzard is coming.


    In fact, when it snows on this side of Z City, people generally don¡¯t use umbrellas. Snow is not like rain, it doesn¡¯t melt fast and when you get into the room, it will be clean with a single tap.


    The youth is also not used to using an umbrella.


    But today, he opened a large transparent umbrella, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and walked into the wind and snow, their footsteps treading a deep and shallow footprint in the snow.


    He held her so tightly that he didn¡¯t let her get even a tiny bit wet.


    Zhang Man suddenly felt a little dazed and remembered some fragments in her mind.


    In the previous life, on this day of the second year of high school, January 10, is also Li Wei¡¯s birthday.


    She didn¡¯t go out to play, but sat at home with the curtains drawn and the lights off, lying sickly in bed, not wanting to move. It was not until the evening that Zhang Huifang brought Zheng Zineng back for dinner again that she went to the living room. Only then did she find that a snowstorm was falling outside the window.


    She flipped open her phone and wanted to call Li Wei¡¯s home to ask him what he was doing on his birthday, but forced herself to stop thinking about it.


    It was none of her business how he celebrated his birthday.


    It is possible that someone else is celebrating it with him so where is her turn to worry about it.


    There are some things she will never be able to know again, like, for example, how he spent his birthday that year.


    Or, did he simply forget about it?


    Under the transparent umbrella, Zhang Man¡¯s hand gently went around and hugged the youth¡¯s waist.


    ¨CFortunately, fortunately, this year, on his birthday where there is still snow in the winter, she is with him, under his umbrella, in his arms, walking with him step by step under the snowy sky.


    ¡­¡­


    The bus ticket back is for seven o¡¯clock, only an hour or so from now. The two stood at the crossroads in front of the Oceanarium, calling a taxi.


    This year, ride-hailing software is not popular throughout the country and the only way to get a taxi is to make a reservation by phone or stand by the side of the road and hail a taxi.


    The two waited for more than 20 minutes to get a car, the middle-aged driver in his 40s and 50s lamented the snowstorm outside, saying that if it wasn¡¯t for the road, he wouldn¡¯t want to take customers in such bad weather.


    However, to make matters worse, when the two arrived at the bus station in a hurry, they were told that today¡¯s schedule had been cancelled due to heavy snowfall and road closures.


    Zhang Man helplessly watched the increasingly violent snowstorm outside the window. Suddenly it occurred to her that they might be able to take the train back.


    She immediately opened her phone to check the train ticket schedule¡ªthe latest class of train tickets back to N City will have to be tomorrow morning.


    In other words, no matter what, they both have to stay in Z City for one night, and she can¡¯t pick up the cake she ordered for Li Wei in N City.


    But where should they stay¡­¡­ Zhang Man bit her lower lip, squeezed her sleeve, and involuntarily began to blush.


    The day is very short in winter, it¡¯s only seven o¡¯ clock, and it¡¯s already completely dark outside. At this time, the waiting hall is crowded with people who have bought tickets but can¡¯t go back.


    In the waiting room, there is no space between the seats, there are several uncles who directly occupied two or three seats a person, curled themselves up and began to sleep, apparently planning to spend the night in the waiting room.


    Unfortunately, Zhang Man and the others arrived when it was already late, and there were no more seats left. The two stood under the central air conditioner in the waiting room, thinking of countermeasures.


    Although there is air conditioning, the waiting room floor tiles are still cold, cold from the feet up, causing Zhang Man to shiver from time to time. Seeing this, the youth pulled her over and put his hands over hers to keep her warm.


    Her physique is cold, and sleeping on the ground overnight is definitely not realistic on such a cold day.


    Zhang Man mulled over half a day, thinking that they can only go to stay in a hotel and her face reddened as she then thought, they can just book two rooms¡ªyou know, so they can have separate rooms.


    ¡°How about¡­going to a hotel?¡±


    When the youth heard her offer, he coughed slightly, his voice a little heavy: ¡°En.¡±


    The two did not speak again and awkwardly headed out. It was clear that holding his hand and hugging him had gradually become natural throughout the day, but the mention of going to the hotel was still awkward and embarrassing for them.


    Zhang Man swears that she really didn¡¯t want to be crooked, but¡­this topic is really very strange for a couple of 16 or 17 years old.


    She walked to the entrance and suddenly remembered, ¡°Wait! Li Wei, do you have a resident identity card?¡±


    She herself does not have her own and only did it in her previous life before the college entrance exams. If she does not have her resident identity card, she should not be able to stay in a hotel.


    The youth also froze at the word, and replied reluctantly: ¡°I have, but I didn¡¯t bring it.¡±


    He lived alone and would have had trouble without it so he got it in his middle school year with a certificate issued by the orphanage.


    ¡ª All this was an accident, and he never premeditated this would happen, so¡­he didn¡¯t bring it either.


    He was calm, opened the umbrella and put his arm around her: ¡°Man Man, let¡¯s go to the hotel first and ask, maybe some hotels don¡¯t need it. The later it is, the worse the search will be.¡±


    The long-distance bus station is in the west corner of the city, far from the city center and there are not many big hotels, but a bunch of short-term hotels with signs nearby.


    The two went to the nearest one, the sign reads ¡°Jinshan Hotel¡±. Pushing open the door, the interior is decorated in the unique gold glittering KTV style of this era, which is very tacky.


    The receptionist is a young woman with heavy makeup, in her twenties, dyed with fiery red hair, with a very pretty side face. Unfortunately, the makeup is too thick and has a slightly dusty smell.


    She is leaning back in the recliner to watch a very hot soap opera this year, the one that Zhang Huifang has been catching up on every day for updates.


    When she saw them enter, she was not too enthusiastic and put both legs off the stand and sat slightly more upright.


    The woman expressionlessly took out the list, pressed the automatic ballpoint pen and didn¡¯t even look at them: ¡°Luckily, there are two standard rooms that guests have checked out, do you want them?¡±


    Li Wei nodded: ¡°Yes, both rooms.¡±


    Money is not a problem as long as she has peace of mind.


    ¡°Your identity cards please.¡±


    The woman spoke mechanically again. This job, from beginning to end, is always like this, repeating these few words every day over and over again.


    Zhang Man was a little embarrassed: ¡°Didn¡¯t bring it¡­¡±


    The young woman finally raised her eyes, lightly glanced at them and saw the looks of the two, probably judging their ages.


    She apparently meets a lot of these things in a day and this is why she coldly puts the list and pen down, lies back on the recliner and points to the door: ¡°Go out and turn left, go up the stairs, there is a small hotel on the third floor that does not need identity cards, underage people can also stay.¡±


    She spoke in a flat tone, but the last five words with the ¡°underage¡± word were much more emphasized and the tone of her voice rose, obviously deliberately teasing them.


    Zhang Man¡¯s face flushed¡ªshe immediately tugged Li Wei¡¯s sleeve and walked out, not daring to look back again.


    She was silent and unsocial in her previous life, shrinking in her closed life in her own power every day, when in fact she has always been a very thin-skinned person at heart.


    How can she stand this kind of snarky comment?


    She even thought about going back to the station for the night, but the blizzard and freezing temperatures outside the door dissuaded her from doing so.


    Li Wei looked at her red face and was a little amused. He squeezed her palm to calm her and led her left into the door of the next unit and walked upstairs towards what the woman had just said.


    The building is obviously a private house and is very old, like the old house built in the 70s and 80s. The lights in the hallway are dim, and as Zhang Man took a closer look, the handrails and bulbs were all wiped clean.


    On the third floor, there was a big sign that read ¡°Yunbin Guest House¡±, and the youth led her in.


    This place is much simpler than downstairs. Two tables are put together on the front table, and a big-bellied old man is playing Dou Dizhu on the computer. Hearing someone come in, he looked up at the two of them, and his cloudy gaze brought some warm smiles.


    Much more welcoming than the female receptionist downstairs.


    ¡°Do you minors want to stay here? Only one queen room is left, will you be staying?¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s scalp tingled at the words ¡°Queen Room¡±¡­ She looked up at Li Wei and gently shook her head.


    The old man is obviously very good at reading people¡¯s opinions, seeing that they do not seem to want to stay, his face suddenly cold down and faintly said: ¡°Today, there is a big snowstorm outside. The hotels near the station must be full.¡±


    He stretched his voice again: ¡°And except for me here, basically they all need identity cards, minors like you guys will only be refused.¡±


    He emphasized the word ¡°minors¡± again.


    Zhang Man has been completely numb.


    It¡¯s just a big bedroom¡­¡­


    ¡°We¡¯ll stay!¡±

 CH 38

    Li Wei paid the money. The old man pushed the old glasses that fell to the tip of his nose, picked up the money and looked at the light for a while, then took out a key from the drawer and slowly gave them a list: ¡°The third room on the right, there are hot water, air conditioning and a hair dryer there.¡±


    He looked at the two of them again and said naturally, ¡°There¡¯s also a bedside table, but there¡¯s an extra charge. One box costs 30.¡±


    Zhang Man: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    She took the list and the key, pulling Li Wei to flee into the room. She closed the door and only then she felt less embarrassed.


    However, the next second, something felt even more wrong to her.


    This hotel is very simple, the entire room is cramped, the passage is very narrow, and in addition to the bathroom at the door there is only a bed.


    A¡­¡­white queen-size bed for two.


    Next to the bed, there is a wooden nightstand that is slightly discolored, with a glass cabinet on top, which¡ªcontains various brands and models of¡­¡­ *ahem.


    Zhang Man tilted her head, not even daring to look at the bedside table again.


    The youth on the other hand is very comfortable. He simply took off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack by the door.


    He wore a thin beige V-neck knit shirt, revealing a sexy and beautiful collarbone that is so simple and basic that it will not be out of fashion even after nineteen years.


    A teenager of the age of 16 or 17 already has a straight body that many adults can¡¯t match, with wide shoulders and narrow waist; he will definitely look good in everything.


    Zhang Man swallowed secretly, not daring to look at him. The air conditioner was not turned on in the room, but she felt a little hot.


    Li Wei took the remote control from the nightstand, turned on the AC, reached out and tried it, and it was indeed hot air.


    The long legs walked to her side again and looked down at her, ¡± Man Man, are you shy?¡±


    The tight-lipped-duck-Zhang Man refuses to admit it: ¡°No. What am I shy about?¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was tinged with laughter, ¡°So¡­can you not stand straight at the door like a door god?¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s body tensed up: ¡°I¡¯m not, I¡¯m just tired and I¡¯m leaning against the door to rest for a while.¡±


    The youth gently stroked her soft head and didn¡¯t give her a hard time: ¡°Man Man, you rest for a while, I¡¯ll try the hot water first.¡±


    He said walking into the bathroom, turning on the side with the red hot water to wait quietly until a slight tingling sensation of hot water came to his fingers before turning off the tap with satisfaction.


    Zhang Man has been standing outside the door to look at him, and when he turned around to come out, just when his eyes collided with hers, she couldn¡¯t help but feel a bit hot in the face. The youth gently stroked her head again: ¡°Man Man, I¡¯ m going downstairs to buy something, wait for me in the room, okay? Don¡¯t open the door when you hear a knock, I¡¯ll bring the key.¡±


    Zhang Man saw him treat her like a child, dissatisfied by his palm rubbing her head, she muttered: ¡°I know¡­¡±


    When he put his coat back on and went out, Zhang Man leaned back in the doorway and let out a sigh of relief.


    In fact, the two have been alone together in a room at Li Wei¡¯s house when they were tutoring, but his house is so big, and all the floor-to-ceiling windows, never gave her this cramped and suffocating feeling.


    She touched her hot cheek and silently despised herself or her own impure thoughts in her heart. When she saw him, her pulse quickened and she involuntarily wanted to be close to him¡­


    She pondered for a while, feeling a little uncomfortable as to why he was so comfortable with all of these?


    Having just waited in a blizzard for so long at the station, and then tossing and turning for a hotel for the past few minutes, she was indeed tired, so she took off her coat and walked to the bed, throwing herself on the quilt.


    Luckily, the quilt is still considered clean.


    Opposite the bed, there is an LCD TV hanging on the wall. Zhang Man was bored of waiting, took the remote control from the bedside table and turned on the TV.


    Not sure if it is poor contact or signal, each station¡¯s screen comes with a few snow spots; the sound is also messy, with a slight static sound.


    Better than nothing, Zhang Man leaned back on the mattress and watched a variety show that was very popular in this era. Four hosts, two men and two women with vibrant energy were on the scene, all still very young looking. Zhang Man watched with some nostalgia, this generation is a bit old-fashioned in her opinion, but everyone¡¯s smile on the screen is very sincere and natural, and the program is not mixed with so much advertising and publicity.


    But unfortunately, the show was cancelled after ten years, and several hosts lived their own lives.


    One of Zhang Man¡¯s favorite hosts retired, married a man outside the circle, and had two children. The other one turned into an actress, and later acted on the big screen, and even took several international film festivals after the film¡ªher career skyrocketed.


    The two male hosts are still doing their usual job, and their fame is great, often hosting the annual Spring Festival Gala of major TV stations.


    Zhang Man was just in time for the joke-telling exercise¡­


    One guest thought for a while: ¡°¡­¡­There is a male deer. It walks faster and faster¡­ until it becomes a highway!¡±


    Zhang Man watched and did not hold back from laughing out loud.


    So when Li Wei returned from his shopping, he saw the young girl sitting on the big bed, staring at the TV and with a big smile. The room¡¯s yellowish light hit her face in a warm hue. Her long black hair fell and lay on the bed, contrasting with the clean white quilt.


    A small room with old furniture and dim lights¡­


    Obviously simple and old, but because she was in the scene, it made him feel that this small hotel with a hundred yuan a night was even warmer than his home.


    The youth stood in the doorway, shaking off the rain and snow on his body for a long time without walking in.


    ¨CSuch a scene, surprisingly, made him feel unreal, and he was afraid that if he walked in, he would find out that it was all just a dream.


    ¡°Li Wei, you¡¯re back?¡±


    Zhang Man laughed so hard that her stomach hurt, and when she looked back, she saw him standing in the doorway carrying something, so she agilely got off the bed and walked over to him.


    She took the youth by the hand, pulled him in and closed the door.


    Seeing him dazed, Zhang Man reached out and shook her hand in front of his eyes, ¡°You¡¯re so silly, why are you standing at the door and not coming in?¡±


    The youth shook his head with a smile and opened the bag, inside were two new towels and two blankets, ¡°It¡¯s nothing. I was worried that the towels in the bathroom weren¡¯t clean.¡±


    With that, he pinched her face again and his voice was a bit apologetic: ¡°Man Man, we¡¯ll have to make do here today.¡±


    Zhang Man was slightly stunned.


    In fact, she doesn¡¯t care that much about these. In her previous life, she was assigned to a rural school when she had just graduated from university as an intern. At that time she lived in a teacher¡¯s dormitory, the conditions are many times more rudimentary than here and there was even a time when she slept in a daze at night, reached out and caught a long centipede.


    She is, after all, not really a young girl raised to live in an ivory tower.


    But then she got a little sore nose.


    ¡®Ah¡­he is really a very careful and mature person.¡¯


    It takes a long time for people to mature, and some lucky people may not need to learn to take care of themselves even in their twenties. Chen Feier, for example, had never cooked or washed clothes even when she gave birth to her second child in her previous life.


    Li Wei is different, he is at the age where he is able to not only take good care of himself, but also learn to take care of her.


    On such a snowy night, in a simple room, with limited conditions, he wanted to give her the best of everything.


    No detail is too small.


    She stepped forward and gently wrapped her arms around the youth¡¯s waist and buried her head in his arms.


    His jacket was cold, and so was the hard slider pressing against her face. She sniffled and hugged him a little tighter.


    ¡°Happy birthday, boyfriend.¡±


    Her voice was soft with some nasal sounds, and just as she finished, she heard his heartbeat.


    The youth let go of the bag in his hand and it fell to the ground, releasing a soft ¡°thud ¡°.


    With his hands free, he wrapped them around her.


    ¡°En¡­¡±


    This hug lasted for a long, long time, and when Zhang Man finally let go of him, she found that she had just surprisingly put him against the back of the door, with her whole body pressed against him in a rather ambiguous position.


    Because the room is small, the warm air blown by the air conditioner has long covered every corner, and in winter, the rare dry heat spreads throughout the body.


    The room was supposed to be roomy for two people to stay alone, but the atmosphere got¡­tense. Her hug directly heated up the atmosphere to a boiling point.


    The youth gently loosened his arm around her, took off his jacket and hung it up, his voice was a little hoarse and he dared not look directly at her, ¡°Man Man, you can watch TV again, I¡­will take a shower.¡±


    He quickly went into the bathroom and closed the door, both of their heartbeats were getting faster and faster across the door.


    ¡­¡­


    Zhang Man touched her chest and sat back on the bed. At this point the variety show came to an end, and the hosts skillfully spoke of closing statements, sponsors, and titleholders.


    She turned off the TV and lay on her back.


    After lying down for a while, the phone rang and she picked it up with a slight headache.


    It¡¯s Zhang Huifang.


    If she doesn¡¯t answer, her mother will definitely worry, so Zhang Man listened to the ¡°clattering¡± sound from the bathroom, and answered the phone with a stiff upper lip.


    ¡°Hey, Mom¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Zhang Man, are you back yet? It¡¯s snowing in N City and I just saw the weather forecast, it¡¯s also snowing in Z City, right?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡± Zhang Man walked to the window, as far away from the bathroom as possible, and said with difficulty, ¡°Mom, I can¡¯t come back today, the snow has closed the road.¡±


    ¡°Huh? So where are you now?¡±


    ¡°¡­Hotel.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    After a terrible silence, Zhang Huifang asked lightly, ¡°That boy is with you?¡±


    Zhang Man coughed lightly and lied: ¡°¡­no.¡±


    ¡°I heard the sound of water in the bathroom¡­ He¡¯s taking a shower?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡± she, the mother, is really invincible.


    Zhang Man weakly muttered, ¡°Mom, there is a big snowstorm today and hotels are full, there is only this one room available, besides, aren¡¯t you happy for me to come out and spend time with him?¡±


    ¡°hehe. My daughter, I didn¡¯t say I was happy for you to get a room with him. When he comes out, let him give me a call.¡± Zhang Huifang said and hung up the phone with a ¡°snap¡±.


    Zhang Man opened her mouth, listening to the ¡°beep¡± sound after the other party hung up, and got a headache.

 CH 39

    After a while, Li Wei pushed open the bathroom door and came out.


    Zhang Man looked at him, and swallowed her saliva.


    The youth has just finished showering, his white skin is now slightly flushed, his eyebrows are condensed with some mist, and his black hair is dripping water. Although he was still wearing the same one just now, the whole feeling of the person changed instantly.


    Like someone who is too¡­¡­comfy in home, almost like a big, wet dog.


    He came over with the towel he had just bought, wiping his hair, ¡°Man Man, you go wash up too, I¡¯ve put your towel in the bathroom.¡±


    Then, he lifted the covers, took the blanket he had just bought out of the bag and laid it on the sheets. He did it meticulously; the corners are made neat and flat for sleeping, clean and comfortable.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go later.¡±


    Zhang Man took out her phone and handed it to him, coughing awkwardly: ¡°That¡­my mother said, let you give her a call now.¡±


    The youth obviously froze. The action of wiping the hair stopped and the water droplets at the top of his hair flowed downward, trickling down his collarbone into the collar.


    Zhang Man¡¯s eyes followed the drops of water, blushing, she turned her face away from him, pushing the phone toward him.


    He smiled and shook his head, took the phone and sat next to her, handing her the towel: ¡°Man Man, I¡¯ll make a phone call and you can help me wipe my hair, is that okay?¡±


    Zhang Man nodded, sat closer, picked up the towel and gently wrapped it around his head, rubbing his hair back and forth.


    The youth opened her cell phone, called back, and soon got through.


    Zhang Man suddenly became a little nervous, wondering what Zhang Huifang would say to him¡ªshe always speaks rough and direct, uh¡­she would not come up and give him a bad scolding, right?


    Unfortunately, he didn¡¯t turn on the speaker and turned the volume down, so she couldn¡¯t hear it at all, making her anxious enough to scratch her heart out.


    ¡°Hello Auntie¡­¡­Mmm¡­Yes, I know¡­¡­Alright.¡±


    The phone call lasted about a minute or so, and there were only a few short words on Li Wei¡¯s side, so she couldn¡¯t follow the meaning at all.


    Zhang Man, anxious in her heart, folded the edge of the towel slightly upward to reveal his eyes, ¡°Li Wei, what did my mother say to you?¡±


    The youth¡¯s dark eyes looked at her for a long time, without speaking.


    ¡°Boyfriend?¡±


    She tentatively changed her way of calling him.


    The youth¡¯s eyes definitely carry a smile, yet still shake his head: ¡°Well¡­ I¡¯m not telling you.¡±


    Zhang Man grinded her teeth and retaliated by rubbing the towel hard on his soft hair a few times to show her anger.


    ¡­¡­


    When Zhang Man washed up, she was surprised to find that the youth had already spread a blanket in the narrow aisle between the bed and the window. He sat on the blanket against the wall and took his own jacket to cover himself¡ª he actually planned to sleep on the floor.


    Originally she had been prepared for two people to sleep together. The bed is so large that two people sleeping on either side will not touch each other.


    The queen room is a queen room for a reason. In fact, she is not such a rigid person. For her, certain things are easy after the first step is taken.


    Besides, it¡¯s not like they¡¯re really going to do anything anyway.


    And, in her heart, she actually felt that she had taken advantage of him.


    The soundproofing of the hotel is by no means good, the violent snowstorm and the whistling wind outside the window can be heard clearly, Zhang Man walked up to him and took off her slippers and stepped on the blanket to try it out.


    The blanket is not thick, although folded twice, it still gives a tight pressure on the feet, as if the bottom of the feet is a cold hard floor, very uncomfortable. Moreover, this passage is close to the window where there is a little wind and as Zhang Man stood for a while, she felt the slightest bone-chilling coldness.


    ¡°How can this work? Sleeping like this all night is no different from sleeping in the station.¡±


    The youth saw her frowning and thought she was afraid of the fierce snowstorm outside, so he soothingly took her hand and gently squeezed her palm: ¡°Man Man, go to sleep, don¡¯t be afraid, I¡¯m by your side.¡±


    ¡°No, Li Wei, you can sleep with me, sleeping on the floor like this is not comfortable.¡±


    Just after Zhang Man finished, she heard a slight chuckle from the youth, who raised his eyebrows slightly to look at her, with a bit of immodesty that he usually never has.


    She blushed and immediately changed her tone, ¡°I mean, we sleep together in bed¡­ you and me. We both sleep in bed¡­¡±


    She really wanted to bite her tongue off.


    The youth leaned against the wall, looking at her close at hand.


    The young girl¡¯s long black soft hair was casually tied into a small ball and coiled on her head, with bangs pinned up with a clip, revealing a full forehead. She is very suitable for such a hairstyle, and her already delicate features look better in proportion.


    She just came out of the shower, wearing only the innermost bottom shirt. Her body is slim, the top two buttons are unbuttoned, and the collar reveals her delicate collarbone.


    Her small, slightly red face was tinged with a deeper shade of blood because of shyness, like a faint pink coming out of a white jade, and her lips pouted slightly in chagrin, which was particularly attractive.


    His heart started beating just as hard again with a slight pain and panic as it did when he embraced her previously, and just as it did when he looked at her smile at the door, completely out of control.


    He was somewhat confused.


    Why in the world would there exist such a girl, whether she is smiling or laughing, can pull the tip of his heart and control his brain.


    Li Wei¡¯s Adam¡¯s apple rolled up and down, his eyes darkened slightly, and he took her hand with a gentle force, pulling her down to sit on the blanket.


    Zhang Man let out a soft cry and nearly fell down.


    The youth steadily picked the person up, held her in one arm, and quietly looked into her eyes.


    Her waist is particularly thin, especially now in a thin clothing, making him feel as if he has a full grip.


    Closer, he could smell the faint scent of the body wash on her, knowing that he himself had just taken a shower too, but all he could smell was hers. His entire perception was multiplied with great weight when it came to her.


    The youth¡¯s eyes moved from her eyes to her lips.


    He thought of that darn dolphin in the afternoon.


    ¨CHe hadn¡¯t even been treated like that.


    His heart had surged with strong regret at that time as to why he had not acted earlier and was instead preempted by it.


    However, it¡¯s not too late.


    ¡ª


    Zhang Man fell into his arms, and saw him staring straight at her, she feels that the atmosphere was simply ambiguous to the extreme, and although she can hear the sound of the wind and snow outside, the ¡°whirring¡± sound of the air conditioner operating, and the sound of the water running in the bathroom.


    All she could think about, however, was her own heartbeat, which was more violent than the next.


    She involuntarily swallowed nervously, braced herself to bravely meet his eyes, and after a few moments found that the youth¡¯s eyes were slowly going down.


    In the small room, the cramped aisle, on the thin blanket, he held her tightly, his eyes moved down and finally stopped at the corner of her lips¡­


    In this situation, even if there is no experience, she felt that the next thing should be¡­¡­


    Zhang Man nervously grabbed the blanket, not knowing what to do, there was a voice inside her heart, fervently shouting for a kiss.


    She had wanted to kiss him for a long time.


    But she has always been this way, sullen at best and full of inner drama again, even if her heart had already thought of whether their child would be a boy or a girl in the future since falling in love with him, she still lacked courage in her behavior.


    As if her body was not her own, she darted her eyes open nervously, staring at the window behind him as if she had found a savior.


    Well¡­ the curtains were embroidered with a cluster of rustic red flowers, one of which was off the line, and the little bit of the sill was exposed in the middle, and the siding was a bit peeling, so it was really old.


    At this point, the youth, very softly, gave a laugh in her ear.


    He suddenly switched to putting one arm around her waist and reached out his right hand to gently cover her eyes.


    ¡°Man Man, you have to pay attention next.¡±


    He said, tilting his head to find a good angle and cover it.


    ¡­¡­


    Kissing, is the most direct way to express human feelings, is the innate instincts of all primates, but also the most heartwarming, heartbreaking part of romance.


    Zhang Man nervously closed her eyes, all her senses collected, and only her lips became extra sensitive at that point.


    She felt the youth slowly move closer to her, pausing very close to her lips.


    His breath spurted on the corner of her lips with a hot temperature, making her heart suddenly surge with boundless dull pain.


    His hand, which was confined to her waist, trembled slightly, but after a moment, he firmly brought her closer to him.


    At the same time, the youth gently and extremely slowly put his lips on hers, tenderly but firmly, without giving her the slightest possibility of retreat.


    When their lips meet, time seems to stand still.


    The human lips are full of sensitive nerve endings and the gentle touch of each other will be transmitted like strong electric signals to the brain. Like the rich poppy flower that gives a strong stimulation that makes the hearts of both people tremble violently.


    This feeling, which cannot be replaced by any other actions, is so pleasurable that it even makes the heart stop beating.


    Her lips were blocked and Zhang Man¡¯s breathing stopped abruptly.


    She truly felt that the youth¡¯s lips were soft and warm, and like his whole person, carried an indescribable tenderness.


    The bridge of his nose straightened against her face, so he slightly changed the angle and adjusted the kissing position.


    He pressed on for a while, and the restlessness in his heart came up again.


    Her lips were so fragrant and soft that they were still trembling slightly from the tension.


    This is not enough to keep him satisfied.


    ¡­so the youth began to try to stop being still.


    He rubbed his lips against hers with some eagerness.


    ¡°Yeah, that seems, well, better.¡±


    ¡ªIt turns out that in this world, there is a deadly softness that transcends the rules of cold and hard physics.


    The youth¡¯s breathing became cloudy and heavy, and his arms around her grew harder.


    He, who is usually firm and sensible, is now finally like an ordinary 16 or 17-year-old boy. In this kiss, his heartbeat is messed up and he becomes the most awkward and inexperienced beginner in the world.


    He can also have things that are difficult to control.


    ¡­¡­


    Perhaps everyone¡¯s memory of the first kiss is like this, as if it were a sweet and soft fruit candy, or a sweet and rich flower.


    However, for Zhang Man, it is more like a cup of mocha in winter¡ªthe taste is sweet as chocolate and cream, but a bitter espresso later on.


    After a period of intense sensations, the dull pain in her heart reached its peak.


    After so many years, she finally kissed the youth she had loved for two lifetimes, on a soft blanket, in his arms, on this snowy night.


    At this point, Zhang Man thought of an English word that she had read previously.


    ¡°Crush¡± has two meanings, ¡°compress¡± and ¡°infatuation¡±. The word is subtle, and its two meanings fit together incredibly closely. It was as if a small stone was gently compressing your heart, hurting you so much that you cringe, yet still tolerate it and even want it more.


    This youth that touches her heart and soul every moment brings her happiness and pain in everything that he does.


    ¡ª If time could be chosen to stay at a certain moment, she thought, she would like it to be now.


    Her eyes were already wet and she could not stop herself any longer.


    She reached out her hands, embraced him tightly, and kissed him back boldly, unrestrainedly and youthfully.


    The rubbing of lips against lips heats up the senses, and the two people use their most primitive way of expressing their feelings, as if to say a lifetime of thoughts and tenderness.


    Later, the two were not quite satisfied, and even began to gently nibble and lick. Breathing heavier, their lips tangled in each other was difficult to part with, not giving in to each other.


    The youth, being naturally intelligent, soon found the best way to relieve the knot in his heart¡ªhe wrapped his arms around her, his palms over her eyes, his lips licking and biting her lips greedily and frantically, he pried her lips open with familiarity and broke into her slightly trembling teeth, he even hooked her warm, soft tongue and never let go.


    There are no more scruples.


    Her taste, which was a million times sweeter than he had ever imagined, made him want to indulge in it forever.


    The youth, in this moment of confusion, thought that he had received the best birthday present in all his years.


    ¡­¡­


    The first long and deep kiss ended under the crisis of Zhang Man¡¯s lack of breath.


    She gently pushed him away, opened her mouth for a few moments to adjust her breathing, and closed her eyes nervously, not daring to look at him.


    The youth, however, took advantage of the gap and licked his lips, which still tasted of her, sweet and lovely.


    He lowered his eyes and looked at the girl in front of him.


    Her eyes were tightly closed and her eyelashes trembled slightly. Due to breathlessness, she could only open her mouth slightly for support, and her pale pink lips still had some moisture between them, looking a little softer than usual.


    Li Wei¡¯s Adam¡¯s apple rolled up and down again, and for the first time, he failed to comply with her wishes¡ªhe didn¡¯t give her much time to adjust and resumed lowering his head.


    The second kiss began.

 CH 40.1

    By the time the two finally separated, the blizzard outside had stopped, and the air conditioner was set to sleep mode.


    It was as if the whole world had stopped making all the noise because of their kiss.


    The only sound left in the dim, small room was the not-so-steady breathing of both of them.


    Even through the blanket, the cold and hard floor made Zhang Man feel stiff and uncomfortable, and if she slept here overnight, she would definitely be sick tomorrow.


    ¡°Uh¡­ Li Wei, how about you sleep with me tonight, if you don¡¯t mind?¡±


    Zhang Man grabbed the youth¡¯s lapel, head against his chest, and asked in a soft voice. Just opening her mouth, even she startled herself.


    ¡ªHer voice, surprisingly, was much softer than usual, with some intimate pampering and intimate dependence.


    The youth leaned lazily against the wall with her in his arms and shook his head, with a helpless chuckle in his voice, he said: ¡°Man Man, if I sleep with you, I will keep my eyes open until dawn.¡±


    In fact, even if he sleeps on the floor tonight, perhaps, he will have to stay awake all night just to calm the rapid heartbeat of his at this time.


    ¡°I won¡¯t bother you¡­ I-Is it still not good¡­even if I¡¯m far away from you?¡±


    Zhang Man was afraid that he would not agree, and immediately added a sentence: ¡°Anyway, I want to sleep with you! If you don¡¯t sleep on the bed, I¡¯ll sleep on the floor with you!¡±


    I must have him to agree to sleep with me¡­


    The youth could hardly suppress a laugh at her words, and the slight vibration of his chest traveled through her skin against his and into her body.


    Zhang Man became irritated and raised her hand to pinch his arm: ¡°Don¡¯t get the wrong idea! I meant sleeping together, nothing more!¡±


    The youth coughed, with an ineffable delight in his voice as he said, ¡°Mn. I wasn¡¯t thinking anything bad.¡±


    Eventually he couldn¡¯t resist her insistence and joined her on the bed. Both of them are covered with the same quilt, sleeping on either side of the bed, without disturbing each other. Zhang Man folded up another blanket and placed it between the two, setting it up to serve as an ¡°impenetrable wall¡±.


    ¡­Just so she could prevent herself from wanting to hold him in her sleep.


    ¡°Good night, Man Man.¡±


    The youth raised his hand and turned off the only light in the room when he heard her breathing becoming regular and smooth.


    He opened his eyes, gradually adjusting to the darkness that came on in a moment.


    The darkness and silence that permeated his entire body was the same old familiar feeling that he was so used to because they came uninvited every night, day after day, year after year.


    His eyes were clearly open, but he couldn¡¯t see anything, and a slight sense of powerlessness swept over him once again.


    However, in the next second, a small warm hand reached over from the other side of the ¡°impenetrable wall¡±, fumbling to hold his hand.


    ¡°Li Wei, I-I can¡¯t sleep. Let¡¯s talk, shall we?¡±


    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±


    The youth curled his lips, closed his eyes and gently squeezed her palm.


    He thought to himself that probably from now on, he had a way to defend himself against the darkness.


    ¡°What did my mom say to you just now?¡±


    Zhang Man rolled over and turned to him, still very curious.


    The youth was quiet for a while and answered calmly after a long time: ¡°She said she knows a lot of people in the community¡­ If I put my hands on you, she will have someone come and break my legs.¡±


    Zhang Man sucked in a breath of cold air. She did not expect Zhang Huifang to talk tough, but then she couldn¡¯t help but laugh a little at her mother¡¯s bluff, she probably only said that in an impulse.


    She recalled thinking about that kiss just now.


    ¡°Then why did you still do¡­¡±


    The youth laughed teasingly, ¡°Do¡­what?¡±


    ¡°er, ¡­nothing.¡±


    Once again, her thin skin kicked in.


    Zhang Man began to change the subject and asked carefully, ¡°Li Wei, has your mother contacted you recently?¡±


    The youth gave his answer without hesitation this time, his tone relaxed: ¡°No, we haven¡¯t been in touch for a while. I¡¯ve been busy lately, and I guess Janet is living her life to the fullest.¡±


    ¡°What about¡­that friend of yours? You know, the one you discussed the problem with the last time I went to your house.¡±


    ¡°You mean ¡®Nick¡¯? He¡¯s had his own thing going on lately and hasn¡¯t come to see me in a long time. Why? What¡¯s the matter?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    Zhang Man did not dare to say more, afraid that he would notice something, but listening to his reply, it seems that those delusions have not struck for a long time.


    Her restless heart relaxed a little.


    It seems that her previous deduction was valid, and the frequency of his episodes was much lower as his life became fuller after being with her. She felt sweet in her heart. If this continues, perhaps his episodes will become less frequent until they cease.


    When he no longer has delusional symptoms, she will choose whether to tell him or not.


    By then, this matter should be much less devastating to him, right?


    Zhang Man gradually fell into a deep sleep as she pondered.


    ******


    The biological clock caused by daily morning study allows Zhang Man to open her eyes early in the morning.


    Because the curtains were closed last night and the winter nights were long, the room was still dim when she opened her eyes, making it hard to tell what time it was.


    For a moment Zhang Man thought she was at home in N City, in her own bed and she slowly rolled over, only to be met with a pair of eyes in the next second.


    The owner of those eyes was only two fingers away from her, his breath audible.


    The youth¡¯s face was not very clear in the dimly lit room, but those eyes seemed to light up with a million lights as soon as they locked eyes with her, then he gently came over and placed a kiss on the corner of her lips.


    ¡°Good morning, Man Man.¡±


    The soft, warm touch made Zhang Man¡¯s dazed mind instantly wake up, her face flushed red as she held her breath.


    He was so close to her that his breath gently brushed the pores of her face, making her itch a little.


    Zhang Man¡¯s memory began to recover, and her hands gripped the quilt.


    Last night, they slept together¡­¡­


    But she clearly remembered that she put a folded blanket in the middle to act as a wall?


    Zhang Man tried to remember, yes, at first there was indeed such a blanket, but then, she seemed to cross over to hold his hand, and afterwards¡­ She looked at the position where she was now lying.


    And well, it is clearly her who crossed the ¡°wall¡± she made, since her whole body was already lying on the other side of the dividing line.


    Chagrined, Zhang Man reached out and wrapped her arms around the youth beside her, burying her head in the nook of his shoulder.


    Since she already crossed the ¡°wall¡±, it¡¯s no big deal to have a hug in the morning.


    Zhang Man began to regret again, had she known that she would cross the boundary when she fell asleep, she would have directly hugged him to sleep last night.


    The youth¡¯s body was refreshing, no sticky feeling at all, and his body was warm. His chest was hot, much warmer than hers¡ªnot different from a warm stove in the cold winter morning.


    Zhang Man comfortably arched in his arms.


    Her voice was still a little hoarse, and her mouth, which had been closed all night, was not quite open, and she mumbled in a small voice.


    ¡°What time is it now?¡±


    The youth had a slight tremor in his body the moment she hugged him over. He was quiet for a moment before answering, his voice was surprisingly parched, not quite the same as usual. ¡°It¡¯s still quite early. It is now past five in the morning, so you should sleep a little more. I just looked and the snow has stopped, so we should be able to go back today.¡±


    Zhang Man was surprised that it was only after five o¡¯clock¡ªhe actually got up so early?


    ¡°Li Wei, did you fall asleep last night?¡±


    ¡°Well, it was a good sleep.¡±


    In fact, he didn¡¯t sleep at all. He was in the dark, with his eyes open, watching her all night.


    He sensed her not-so-good sleeping posture. From time to time, she would stretch out her hand under the blanket, and he overheard one or two occasional words in her sleep.


    He simply couldn¡¯t fall asleep. He wanted to hear her every breath in the infinite darkness which gave him a real and unmistakable feeling of being alive.


    It¡¯s not that there hasn¡¯t been insomnia until dawn before but mostly the reason is that some derivations were not clear and he would spend throughout the night thinking about it.


    But never more than today¡­


    His heart was pounding to the point that he could hardly sleep, and he was worried that after he fell asleep, he would open his eyes and find that it was all just a dream.


    In his mind, he was afraid that he had fallen for her so deeply.


    Perhaps the youth¡¯s embrace was warmer than the comforter, Zhang Man¡¯s sleepiness resurfaced and she intended to take a nap: ¡°I want to hold you and sleep a little longer, is that okay?¡±


    ¡°En¡­¡±


    The youth restrained himself and kissed the center of her hair, reached out and patted her back, mumbling, ¡°Go to sleep, I¡¯ll wake you up later.¡±


    Teenagers at the age of 16 or 17 are the most energetic.


    In fact, lying in bed with her holding him tightly like this, especially in the morning, was very hard for him. He feels restless and it was really hard to bear.


    But this ordeal completely defeated the nightmares he had when she¡¯s not in his arms.


    ¡­¡­

 CH 40.2

    When Zhang Man opened her eyes once again, it was already dawn. She was embarrassed to find herself hanging on to the youth like an octopus, with one leg still resting on his waist.


    She hurriedly took down her thigh, which was making a mess, and lifted her face to look at him.


    The youth¡¯s eyes were closed and he was breathing quietly as if he was sleeping.


    The morning light shone through the gauzy curtains embroidered with gaudy little flowers, taking on a pinkish hue and hitting him freely on the half side of his face. The light and shadow effect makes his face look well-defined, with perfectly shaped eyebrows and nose bridge¡­ En, every good-looking person has an excellent bone structure.


    While she was engrossed in watching, she noticed that the youth suddenly opened his eyes.


    ¡°You¡¯re awake? Man Man, I just checked, there are buses back to N City at noon and at night. When do you want to go back?¡±


    ¡°Noon, I think, my mom should be waiting for me at home.¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­ Then we should get up. We still have two and a half hours before the bus leaves.¡±


    ¡­¡­


    They simply packed up and checked out of the room and went downstairs for breakfast. Before checking out, the old man last night also made a special trip to the room, specifically to check whether the things on the bedside table are missing a box.


    The heavy snow stopped last night, and at the moment it is completely white outside. Z City after the snowstorm is exceptionally quiet, like the city of ice and snow in an animation movie, the streets are silver-white, old houses are covered with thick snow on top, with segments of power lines wrapped in snow when you look up at the sky¡­


    All is calm in welcoming this gentle world.


    The storm also seems to have passed.


    ¡­¡­


    After a few hours on the road, they arrived back in N City.


    Unlike Z City, it is still snowing heavily in N City at the moment. In a blanket of snow, the road is thick with ice, every step is slippery, yet Zhang Man is not worried at all¡ªbecause a certain boy in front of her has been holding her hand.


    There were very few pedestrians on the street, and the two walked from the station all the way down her place, but they only came across a few people ¨C one of them was a gray-haired grandmother, holding a little kid in her arms, putting her to sleep while hunching her back to shield her from the wind and snow.


    In the snowy sky, there is a different kind of warmth.


    Zhang Man looked at them and felt emotional for a while, but there was something strange in her heart at that certain moment¡ªshe seemed to have a familiar feeling about those two¡­


    But after the two walked into the next unit, she still couldn¡¯t remember.


    She probably felt familiar because she had seen them in the neighborhood before.


    Zhang Man shook her head, no longer thinking about it and took the youth¡¯s hand, and rambled instructions, ¡°Li Wei, we¡¯re here, you go back. Go back and remember to eat the cake, okay? I asked the cake store staff to send it to your home today.¡±


    ¡°What did you call me?¡±


    The youth was quite chagrined at her lack of self-consciousness.


    ¡°¡ªboy¡­ friend¡­ friend.¡±


    Zhang Man slightly lowered her head and rubbed her forehead against his chest, popping out one word at a time.


    ¡°Boyfriend, I¡¯m going up.¡±


    ¡°En, rest well, Man Man.¡±


    He let go of her and pinched her in the face.


    Zhang Man turned her head three times back before going upstairs, and when she reached the second floor, her heart was still pounding. She leaned over the second floor window and peered down to find the youth still standing downstairs, looking up at her.


    He was standing next to the green belt just below the gate of the residential building, and behind him were great flakes of snow. The evergreen shrubs in the neighborhood are now covered with heavy, lush white snow which made it look gloomy but the youth, dressed in gray, wearing a black baseball cap, and has a warm smile on his clear face makes her heart flutter beyond measure.


    Snow had fallen on him¡ªshe noticed it immediately when the youth had raised his head and a playful snowflake had landed on the tip of his nose.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heartbeat was getting more and more disturbed, she waved at him eagerly and ran down the stairs quickly, straight to him and pulled his sleeve.


    The feeling of being in love is really amazing.


    Later in her former life, she had been dragged by Chen Feier to the cinema to see a teen movie. The heroine stood at the corner of the stairs, and when she was about to leave the male lead, she took one step backwards, while saying: ¡°I¡¯m one step away from you¡­ Two steps away from you¡­¡±


    She still remembers that when she saw that part, she couldn¡¯t help but complain to Chen Feier: ¡°It¡¯s not like they¡¯re never going to see each other again, so why is this even necessary?¡±


    But when it was her turn, she realized that it wasn¡¯t because the heroine missed not seeing the male lead, but rather, before they separated, the heroine already started missing him.


    People who are in love are always so strange. They can¡¯t bear to part with each other even though they will meet again on the next day.


    She took the youth¡¯s arm and gently approached and kissed him on the left cheek.


    After the kiss, she was somewhat embarrassed to look at him and lowered her head a bit: ¡°This time¡­ I¡¯ll surely go up.¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was tinged with pleasant laughter as he turned sideways and gave her a hug, responding in a low, deep voice: ¡°Mm-hmm, quickly go up.¡±


    Amidst the blanket of snow, a young man painted in gray and black stood and gazed at the floor above, at a certain window, and did not leave for a long time.


    ¡­¡­


    When Zhang Man returned home while smiling from ear to ear, she just realized that something was wrong.


    Zhang Huifang, her dearest mother, is holding her arms, leaning against a corner of the dining table, watching her in good humor.


    ¡°Tsk, tsk, tsk, Zhang Man, I just saw it all in the window. You are very passionate about this relationship ah.¡±


    She said, grinding her teeth a little. Even if the boy is very handsome and her daughter looks good, such a feeling nevertheless should have been a little subtle ah.


    After all, she¡¯s a good cabbage that she has raised for sixteen or seventeen years.


    Besides, a handsome-looking pig is still a pig!


    Zhang Man was embarrassed for a moment by her mother¡¯s words.


    It was a mistake and she should have expected it. The entrance to the building was clearly visible from below the living room window. Zhang Man pretended to squat down to loosen her shoelaces and ignored her.


    But who would have thought that Zhang Huifang would continue to hit the nail on the head, not giving people any time to buffer themselves. ¡°Say, did you two sleep together last night? I have given the word, if that boy really rushed to touch you. I am going to break his legs!¡±


    Zhang Man was speechless: ¡°Mom, what are you talking about, he¡¯s still underage¡­¡±


    She realized that she had slipped up: ¡°You¡¯re so impure. We¡¯re both still underage so how can we do that kind of thing.¡±


    She justifiably finished, and suddenly thought of last night one after another lingering kiss, feeling a little guilty in her heart.


    They didn¡¯t do it but that doesn¡¯t mean they didn¡¯t do anything else.


    She coughed to cover it up, ¡°Well, we haven¡¯t¡­*ahem* anyway.¡±


    Zhang Huifang saw her look, her heart probably guessed seven or eight and so while sitting, she said in all seriousness. ¡°Zhang Man, I, for one, have always adhere to the saying that that past this village, you won¡¯t find this shop, don¡¯t miss it when you meet a good one. However, I still have to remind you that girls must protect themselves, it¡¯s okay to fall in love, but don¡¯t break through the last line of defense until you¡¯re an adult and have the ability to judge.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be like your mother, like me¡­¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s nerves jumped, her mother actually brought up her former affairs.


    But Zhang Huifang apparently also realized that, and quickly changed the subject: ¡°Man Man, yesterday, your Uncle Xu¡­ proposed to me.¡±


    Zhang Man was a little surprised: ¡°So soon?¡±


    It¡¯s been less than a month since the two of them got back together, and she thought the two of them would have to bond for a little over half a year.


    ¡°Mn, don¡¯t worry Man Man. I haven¡¯t said¡­ yes yet and wanted to ask your opinion first.¡±


    When it comes to her own matters, Zhang Huifang is not so straightforward. She walked to the sofa and sat down, and started to knit a new scarf-style woolen fabric in her hand¡ª it seems that without touching something, the words are hard to say.


    ¡°Mom, you don¡¯t have to worry about me. As long as you feel that it¡¯s right for you to be with Uncle Xu and you¡¯ll be happy with him, I¡¯m really fine with it. What do you say?¡±


    Zhang Huifang started playing tricks again, pretending not to care and waving her hand: ¡°I¡¯m at this age, what happiness or not ah. I just see that he is still okay and we can live together.¡±


    Zhang Man did not easily let her pass this time, sitting down beside her, her expression is a bit serious: ¡°If you can¡¯t say it, you can nod your head if yes and stay silent if not, okay? Mom, let me ask you again, are you happy with him?¡±


    Zhang Huifang was stunned and dropped the messy scarf knitted in her hand and after some time, nodded her head almost invisibly.


    Zhang Man breathed a sigh of relief: ¡°Then marry, Mom. I¡¯ll be your bridesmaid then.¡±


    As long as she feels happy.


    Zhang Man thought of the past that her mother had just said halfway and didn¡¯t go on, and she thought that maybe it had to do with her real father.


    She had the intention to ask a few more questions, but swallowed them at the end of her sentence.


    If Zhang Huifang does not want to say it, it is useless for her to ask anything. In her previous life, her mother was like that, and she never knew who her real father really was even in her thirties.


    Each individual has an unspeakable wound at the bottom of their heart. In life, there are many things that do not have to be released, perhaps by burying it deep in the heart, until the memories are no longer there is also not a very bad choice.


    ¡­¡­


    The fierce wind and snow continued until midnight.


    That night, Zhang Man suddenly woke up from a dream. She knew where the familiar feeling came from when she saw that old grandmother today.


    In her previous life, in their neighborhood, just at this time, there was a very terrible thing that happened. The child of a family in the next unit was taken away by human traffickers.


    It was the grandmother who took her granddaughter out to buy groceries and put her in the stroller without paying attention.


    Zhang Man cannot recall the specific time and place, and only vaguely remember, it seems to be in the winter of this year.


    Why is the impression still there after so many years, you ask?


    It is because the grandmother was so devastated after that and every day she wandered around with the child¡¯s photo in front of the neighborhood, asking if anyone had seen their baby girl.


    This was also reported on N City TV at the time.


    Zhang Man remembered that after she transferred to H City, she heard Zhang Huifang mention this incident. It was heard that the gang of traffickers later fell out of favor, but the grandmother¡¯s granddaughter had fallen ill and died in the middle of the transaction because of several years of tossing and turning.


    Truly a tragedy.


    Thinking about it, Zhang Man suddenly could not sleep, at least today she still saw the old grandmother holding the child in her arms, she should be the child who was later trafficked in her previous life.


    ¡­¡­


    Early the next morning, Zhang Man waited at the doorstep of the next unit.


    This incident happened this winter, and she still remembers the day the family lost their child, the heartbreaking cries downstairs, and the white background at the time.


    In other words, it¡¯s winter, which means it¡¯s not far from now, maybe it¡¯ll happen today or tomorrow.


    Zhang Man did not know the grandmother¡¯s door number and could only wait, but now that the wind and snow outside has stopped, it is not too cold.


    About an hour or so later, Zhang Man finally saw a familiar figure.


    The grandmother walked out hunched over, holding an environmental bag, presumably to go to the vegetable market outside the neighborhood to buy some food.


    Zhang Man has long thought of a speech and stopped her, smiling sweetly as she said, ¡°Hello grandma, I am a student volunteer in our community. During this period of time there have been several cases of missing children in N City, human traffickers are rampant almost everywhere, so we hope that every family with children should pay attention and must keep an eye on their own children at all times!¡±


    The old grandmother was slightly stunned, half smiled and replied: ¡°Thank you, young student. I will definitely keep an eye on my baby girl. These child traffickers are not human! They are hundreds of times worse than the worst evil spirits!¡±


    Zhang Man did not feel at ease and instructed again, ¡°Grandma you must be sure to pay attention, that is, this winter, be more wary. Always be careful not to put her alone in the stroller since it¡¯s easy to be carried away.¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll keep an eye on her, young student. Such a cold day, it¡¯s hard for you guys! I will certainly watch my baby every moment, don¡¯t worry, there will be no mistakes.¡±


    Zhang Man was then relieved.


    She thought that not only did she want the people she loved to have a lifetime of peace, but since she knew some tragedies would happen, she must also try to prevent them.


    Children are special to every family, and no family can withstand that much of a shock.

 CH 41.1

    In mid-January, it was already late winter in N City.


    After almost a full week of snowstorm, it finally stopped at midnight today, with a foot and a half of snow on the eaves, car roofs and bushes¡­


    At the moment, the large city is in hibernation under the white snow.


    Next Monday is the school¡¯s final exam. Zhang Man brought some physics exercises and planned to go to Li Wei¡¯s house to study with him.


    She carried her school bag, went downstairs to buy two boxes of breakfast and went to the bus stop, feeling a little excited. It was the first time she¡¯ll go to his house after coming back from Z City.


    Zhang Man wore a pair of thick snow boots that creaked on the snow.


    There has never been a winter where the whole world glowed like this one.


    She got on the bus stop to Li Wei¡¯s house in a familiar way, thinking eagerly if it could go faster, and faster.


    Finally, half an hour later, bending over a rugged shoreline, his neighbourhood was just a short distance away.


    Before the bus arrived, Zhang Man saw the youth waiting for her at the stop sign, dressed in black and wearing much thinner clothing than those waiting next to the bus.


    He looked up at the direction of the bus and stood there in a regular manner, as if it were the highlight of the snowy landscape.


    At this time, Zhang Man heard the conversation of a few young girls standing around her.


    ¡°Holy shit! Look, that guy under the stop sign is so handsome!¡±


    ¡°Where?¡±


    ¡°Look over there, next to the older man in red.¡±


    ¡°Ahhhhhh!!!  he really is so handsome!!!¡±


    As she listened to their chatter, pride grew in her heart¡ªthe youth she was in love with was the most wonderful person in the world.


    The bus slowly pulled up, and Zhang Man waved out the window.


    The moment the youth saw her, an expressionless face was immediately lit up, and he looked at her with hooked lips and a boundless smile in his eyes, cocking his head.


    Before the bus stopped, Zhang Man eagerly went down from the back door. The edge of the platform was icy and slippery, and she fell forward without looking, into the arms of the youth and was caught by him steadily.


    When he¡¯s not around, she always walks very steadily on her own. But she always seems to have a near fall when he is present.


    ¡ª In fact, it¡¯s not like there wasn¡¯t ice when he wasn¡¯t there, but it¡¯s because he was there that she couldn¡¯t be careful about everything.


    ¡°Man Man.¡±


    The youth held her shoulders to keep her on her feet and took her hand again, interlocking their fingers as they walked towards his home.


    His winter jacket which is made of stiff denim was cold and hard, but Zhang Man did not care and raised her face on his arm and rubbed it affectionately, shaking his hand she asked, ¡°Boyfriend, how long have you been waiting?¡±


    ¡°Not long.¡±


    In fact, there are already 7 or 8 buses that passed him.


    Almost as soon as she texted him that she was leaving, he came downstairs. From her departure to his house, how can it take half an hour, but even if the brain calculates clearly, it can¡¯t control the heart that wants to see her.


    After redecorating Li Wei¡¯s house last time, it was much more cosy than before, and the curtains in the living room were replaced with tulle, so even with the curtains drawn, there was still bright sunlight shining in from outside. As soon as Zhang Man entered the door, she lay down on the large leather sofa in the living room, casually hugged a large pillow and rubbed contentedly on the back of the sofa.


    The youth went to the dining room and poured her a glass of water on the coffee table, walked to her side and sat down. Without saying a word, he pulled her over, cupped her chin and tried to kiss her.


    Earlier in the station, he wanted to kiss her but he held back until now because he was afraid she would be shy.


    But who knew that Zhang Man would raise her hands and cover his lips.


    ¡°No, you can¡¯t kiss.¡±


    She shook her head and set the breakfast on the table, ¡°I¡¯m here to study today, finals are in two days.¡±


    The final physics paper will have several additional big questions related to the competition selection, although she did not have too much pressure, she still had to brush up on the questions for a few days. This is the case with time-limited exams, besides testing whether the knowledge is good or not, one must also be tested whether he or she is proficient or not.


    Zhang Man thought and quietly blushed.


    This kiss from him¡­ she probably will have to stop it again for a long, long time like that day in the hotel.


    An eager kiss from the youth landed on the back of her hand, his dark eyes flashed with a hint of reluctance, but seeing her firmly shake her head, he had no choice but to give her a gentle bite at the back of her hand.


    He is really helpless with her.


    Zhang Man saw him compromise and rewardingly came over and kissed his cheek: ¡°Good boyfriend, eat your breakfast and let¡¯s go study.¡±

 CH 41.2

    The two shared their breakfast and walked to the study.


    Zhang Man spread out the exercise set and prepared a pen and paper, intending to do a time-limited practice exam.


    Before she started, she reminded him of their agreement: ¡°Li Wei, no kissing while studying on the desk, okay?¡±


    It cannot interfere with her solving the problems.


    ¡°Mm.¡± The youth turned his face away from her reluctantly and flipped open a thick stack of papers.


    The additional questions on this exam will be more advanced than all the previous big questions, and the content exceeds what they have learned so far, approaching the level of the physics competition preliminaries.


    Zhang Man is buried in a mechanical analysis of the problem, and quickly finds the key to the solution between the hinged wooden rod, the conveyor belt and the stacked three or four wooden blocks. She outlined a slip of Newton¡¯s second law, angular momentum, torque and kinetic energy theorem equations.


    She finished one and glanced at her watch.


    Nice. Less than eight minutes have passed yet, she had no problem doing seven or eight big questions within an hour.


    The room was quiet, and the warm sunlight of the early winter morning shone unstintingly in from the large floor-to-ceiling windows, hitting the two people engrossed in their studies.


    Li Wei looked at the papers that he hadn¡¯t finished reading yet two days ago. It shows that several theoretical physics scientists from the University of California published a review of black strings and p-branes more than twenty years ago.


    Unlike the rapidly changing fields of computers and electronics, the basic framework of theoretical physics was in fact laid down almost decades ago, and there have been no huge breakthroughs or progress in recent years.


    In the 20th century, men with dynamic minds and talents offered untestable speculations about the nature of the world.  They have left the world with confusing and daring conjectures one after another, waiting for those who come after them to confirm or disprove them.


    The youth lowered his eyes and read through more than twenty pages of the review, finally putting down the paper after seeing the long list of References at the end.


    He turned his head and looked at the girl who was writing furiously on the side.


    When she¡¯s serious, she likes to frown and puff out her cheeks slightly, without even noticing it herself. His eyes traveled down from her thick bangs, along the bridge of her upturned nose and down again, stopping at her slightly pouting lips.


    It was the same pinkish lips that he had dreamed about all night.


    This made his heart itch densely again.


    He hooked the corners of his lips, raised his hand, and accidentally threw the papers, which were full of notes and had already been committed to his mind, to the ground lightly.


    It landed right under Zhang Man¡¯s chair.


    Under the respected title of the paper, the names of several well-known scientists are arranged in the shape of an inverted triangle, lying innocently on the cold floor.


    The youth raised his hand and poked Zhang Man¡¯s arm with the end of the pen, ¡°Man Man, can you pick it up for me?¡±


    ¡°Uh-huh.¡± Zhang Man didn¡¯t care too much and finished reading about the next question. While thinking in her mind, she moved her chair back and squatted down to pick up the pile of papers.


    However, the moment she squatted down to reach the paper with her hand and her body below the desk, the youth on the other side of the desk suddenly bent down and pressed her chin to kiss her over.


    Suddenly, catching off guard¡­


    He cupped her chin with his left hand, pressed the back of her head with his right, and kissed her eagerly.


    First time strangers, and second time friends¡­ It took him a long time to comprehend it last time, but this time he made a move as soon as the opportunity arrived.


    Within a few seconds, Zhang Man began to pant, she was kissed silly by him, and was about to struggle, but the youth already removed himself from her slightly by a finger.


    With a boundless excitement and ambiguity in his eyes, the knot of his throat rolled up and down. He looked directly into her eyes so tenderly and impatiently, and explained softly, ¡°It¡¯s not on the desk.¡±


    His breath is hot.


    After saying that, he came over for another kiss.


    Zhang Man froze and was kissed in a daze before realizing that he was talking about the agreement she had just made a while ago.


    What he meant was that he didn¡¯t break the rules.


    And it seems to make sense?


    With this kiss, which was too intoxicating, even a person with a more determined heart would surely melt into a puddle of water.


    Zhang Man agreed with his thoughts in her heart. She then gently hugged the youth¡¯s shoulders and responded gently.


    In the quiet morning after the snow, behind the large floor-to-ceiling windows, under the wide mahogany desk, the girl sits helplessly on the floor, and the youth bends over and kisses obliviously.


    ¡­¡­


    Zhang Man finally managed to find the time to finish the set of papers with difficulty.


    She flattened her mouth and glared at the culprit: ¡°I was going to do two sets of papers today, but now I¡¯ve only finished one, it¡¯s all your fault!¡±


    As soon as the words left her mouth, the youth beside her laughed low and deep. He came over to take her hand curtly and touched the corner of her lips soothingly, his voice incomparably gentle: ¡°Mm, I¡¯m to blame.¡±


    That¡¯s what he said, but the expression on his face was not the slightest bit apologetic, but rather delighted.


    He came up to her ear again. ¡°Man Man, don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll give you practice papers tomorrow. I finished the contest questions early, and they¡¯re probably the same set of questions that will be used there, so I¡¯m sure they¡¯re not too far off.¡±


    Zhang Man then put down her heart, and counted it as him having a conscience.


    But the youth continued to pull her along again, saying something underhanded: ¡°This will save us a lot of time to do other things.¡±


    He feels he has always made use of his time and sought efficiency.


    Zhang Man reacted, her face flushed red and she gasped, ¡°No way! I have plenty of time to spare, why should I save it?!¡±


    She puffed out for a while before she remembered something and fished out a bright yellow paper charm from the inner pocket of her school bag.


    ¡°Li Wei, my mother and Uncle Xu are getting married after the New Year. Uncle Xu¡¯s mother went to the temple to ask for a few peace charms and gave my mother three, one for each of us! Here, this is for you, put it in a hidden corner of the house.¡±


    Yesterday, she heard Zhang Huifang say that originally Uncle Xu¡¯s mother was only going to give two, but Uncle Xu asked her to give three.


    In Zhang Man¡¯s hand rested the small peace charm as she looked seriously at the youth and bent her eyes. ¡°You must put it away properly! This peace charm will surely bless you with a lifetime of peace and joy and free from any further pain and misfortune.¡±


    ¨CThis is also her greatest wish in this life.


    The youth was slightly stunned and solemnly accepted the paper charm.


    Materialism and superstition are sometimes not in conflict and even most of the outstanding scientists in Western history had their own fixed beliefs.


    Li Wei pinched the small paper charm in his hand, and somewhere in his heart, he felt warm.


    He used to have no fixed beliefs, but from now on he has one.


    It is this girl who solemnly handed him a peace charm in front of him, which can protect him for a lifetime.


    He moved up and kissed the corner of her lips, parting them at the first touch.


    Like a devout believer in worship.


    ¡ª At this moment, the two people who are completely engrossed in love do not have the slightest idea that the peace charm will bring forward all the conflicts and pains, before guarding the peace. And fate, in places they can¡¯t see, will often be around the corner, hideously trying to return to its original place.

 CH 42

    At the time Zhang Man came out of Li Wei¡¯s house, it was not yet dusk, so she planned to go back and sort out the questions she had done here and prepare again.


    It was very windy outside, not raining or snowing, but with a bit of humid moisture, even the billboard next to the road was blown to one side by the high wind, so fragile that it seemed to be folding down in the next second.


    She glanced up at the darkening sky and tightened her jacket.


    It¡¯s only been sunny for a day, and there¡¯s probably going to be another snowstorm tonight.


    The bus was going fast, and the driver seemed to be rushing to get home from work before the snowstorm, but he still missed it¡ªthe snow started to fall in the sky before he reached the station, leaving him no buffer in the process.


    Zhang Man got out of the bus, put up her hood and walked from the station to the neighborhood. The worst thing about winter in Z City is not the rain or the snow, but the wind.


    The sea breeze was howling, she was a little unsteady, so she had to squint and walk fast as she tried to hurry home.


    However, before she reached the floor of the building, she heard noises of people and heartbreaking cries which, on such a snowy day, were like an ominous knife cutting through the quiet.


    Zhang Man frowned, quickened her pace and walked to the next unit building. She found that a circle of people had gathered at the scene and a police car with red lights was parked outside the crowd.


    Feeling the pressure on her temples, she struggled to push her way through the crowd.


    In the midst of the crowd, a family of three was breaking down and crying. There were two adults and an elderly¡ª whom she was familiar with, it was the grandma who had lost her granddaughter in her previous life.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart tightened, her scalp tingled, and she had a very bad feeling.


    Sure enough, in the next second, she heard the grandmother¡¯s hoarse, heart-rending cries.


    ¡°My baby girl ah! My baby girl¡­ was snatched away! The¡­ man wearing a hat, he¡­ snatched my baby girl from my arms¡­ I couldn¡¯t catch up¡­ she *hic¡­ my baby girl, s-she *hic hic*, k-kept crying¡­ she w-was calling me¡­ yelling grandma¡ªAaahhhHHHG!!!  DEATH TO HUMAN TRAFFICKERS! PEOPLE WHO ROB CHILDREN DESERVE TO GO TO HELL!!!¡ª ¡°


    She cried her heart out¡ª a sixty to seventy-year-old woman with white hair is slumped in the snow, wailing and sobbing. Some women with children nearby can be seen with tears falling down their faces.


    This kind of pain of losing a loved one is something that people are unable to restrain no matter the era, filled with heart-wrenching pain and misery.


    Next to the old lady was a woman who looked less than thirty and was probably the child¡¯s mother. Her hair was disheveled, her face was pale as she sat on the ground, and she couldn¡¯t care less about the heavy snow either. She just cried there continuously as if she was about to lose her breath.


    The slightly calmer man next to the two of them, choked with red eyes, while recounting what happened to the police officer next to him.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was pounding.


    Why did it still happen? She thought she warned them all and that it shouldn¡¯t happen again¡­


    There was a lot of chatter from the crowd in the surrounding neighborhood.


    ¡°Aiyo, this old lady is so pitiful, I heard that she went out to buy food with a small child today, and kept the child in her arms at all times, but on the way back, the child was robbed by a man wearing a hat.¡±


    ¡°Tsk, tsk, tsk, human traffickers nowadays are too rampant, stealing children instead of robbing them¡­ I wouldn¡¯t dare take my granddaughter out anymore.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna tell you something but don¡¯t spread the word, okay? This family is estimated to have offended the Bodhisattva. Some time ago when I went out with Mrs. Zhou, the old lady kept babbling that children should not be put in the stroller since they could easily be carried away. As a result, she held it in her arms the whole time but was still snatched away. Aren¡¯t her words poisonous or what?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t mention that ah. It¡¯s all fate. What¡¯s not in your fate, you can¡¯t touch it, what¡¯s in your fate, you can¡¯t escape.¡±


    ¨CWhat¡¯s not in your fate, you can¡¯t touch it, what¡¯s in your fate, you can¡¯t escape


    The wind suddenly struck, dense snow fell from the sky, drifting in her hair and clothes, a couple of pieces also fell on her bare neck.


    Zhang Man felt like her head was about to explode. In this freezing weather, the coldness spreads from every pore on her neck to the inside, causing her to shiver.


    The dense goosebumps, in this instant, crawled all over her arms.


    She suddenly realized that many things can¡¯t really change even if she thinks she has the power to do so.


    ¡­¡­


    After Zhang Man left, the youth kept on holding the peace charm she gave him and sat on the couch, quietly doing nothing.


    It¡¯s been a long, long time since he had this feeling of not doing anything, and yet he didn¡¯t feel bored and instead found that every corner of his heart was warm.


    He remembered the serious and grave expression on the young girl¡¯s face when she handed him the peace charm just now.


    She seems to be very serious about a lot of things.


    In the afternoon she did the questions, and he watched from the side as she frowned and thought about it all, page after page of drafts were finished with notes to make it all clearer. Her font was neat, partially rounded and one by one, she wrote hard on the paper, and even when she turned over the page, it was still easy to see the traces that were inscribed on the next page.


    She drew a small circle after each formula, and inside the circle was a neatly arranged number label.


    Her solution process consists of no fancy tricks or clever ideas. Most of them are based on the most basic and reliable solutions, and are done in a regular manner¡ªsomething that can cure one¡¯s OCD.


    The two of them are actually, in a way, very different. Unlike his inattentiveness, she is quiet, but has her own love for the world.


    She will do everything she can, within the limited scope available to her, to get everything done.


    Such a girl came into his life so suddenly that he would wonder, from time to time, about her authenticity.


    For him, it was like winning the jackpot on a lottery.


    He then placed the peace charm in the breast pocket of his pajamas, against his heart.


    But the next moment, he recalled how seriously the young girl said that she wanted him to find a safe and hidden place to put it at home and never lose it.


    The youth shook his head, smiled and stood up, walking into the bedroom.


    A hidden and safe place¡­¡­


    He opened the closet and in the bottom corner, there was a mahogany box with a combination lock¡ªit was brought to him by the way when his grandfather sent someone to hand over his father¡¯s inheritance to him, saying it was the most important relic of his father¡¯s life, and he hadn¡¯t opened it for so many years.


    The password is his birthday.


    0110.


    He opened the mahogany box and an aged smell came over him.


    He put the bright yellow peace charm into the box, and was going to close it there, but suddenly got interested.


    The youth smoothly turned on the lighting in the room and opened the box on the bedside table.


    The contents of the box are not really that much.


    And the most conspicuous thing on it is a carved wooden comb, which has changed from the original purplish red color of the wood to a purplish brown color after settling because of the passage of time.


    It¡¯s comb teeth are not considered dense, but the wood is hard and has a delicate carving of plum blossoms on the intact sandalwood. The wood wax is oily and shiny, and after all these years, it still emits a refreshing aroma of sandalwood. The back of the comb is curved and the top is engraved with a word.


    ¡°Hui¡±.


    The youth was slightly stunned that it was Janet¡¯s name.


    He put down the wooden comb and picked up another yellowed photo.


    The photo has a plastic seal, and the date is written in gold-stamped font in the upper right corner, and is slightly peeling. He carefully identified it and found that it had been seventeen years since the present day.


    In the photo are a man and a woman, both looking their best age.


    The man was in a straight suit, handsome and dashing and looked confident. He was wearing eyeglasses and had his arm around the woman with a sweet smile.


    The woman on the other hand was stylishly dressed in a camel-colored trench coat with a plain white dress, a black and white polka dot silk scarf is also worn around her neck. With her long, slightly curly hair and the yellowing age of the photo, it makes her look like a modern girl who came around from a European street corner in the last century.


    However, the most important thing is that the woman¡¯s belly seems high up under her dress, which is hard to ignore, together with her chin, which is also slightly rounded.


    The photo is set against the backdrop of the Seine, hidden in white mist, with the towering Eiffel Tower visible behind the two.


    Unlike the changing times and human beings, those buildings have been standing there for decades, even centuries, welcoming the first sunrise every day.


    A certain corner of Li Wei¡¯s heart sank slightly. It turns out that when Janet was young, she looked like this, and now she looked somewhat different.


    He closed his eyes to think about what Janet looked like now, and suddenly felt somehow unable to remember. He shook his head, it seems that he should contact Janet more in the future. It has been long since he thought of her recently.


    There were several other items in the box¡ªa heavy gold longevity lock that he would have worn as a child, and two strands of hair knotted together.


    A knotted hair of a husband and wife.


    At the bottom of the mahogany box, there is also an English reading book for children with a bit of curled edges, it was probably used to enlighten him as a child.


    The youth cautiously drew out the book to read.


    With a colorful cover dedicated to children¡¯s books, ¡°Benny the Little Lion¡± is written in an exaggerated floral style with a colorful English title. Below the caption, a cute little lion turned his head to face forward with one front hoof up, saying ¡°hey!¡±


    He was amused, it turned out that when he was small, he also read such a childish book.


    He thought of Man Man again.


    He wondered if she had read a similar book when she was a child, and read it in her milky voice.


    When he thought of it, his heart itched and he couldn¡¯t wait to pinch her face the next second.


    While thinking, the youth opened the book, and casually turned into the first page.


    It is indeed very enlightening, with each English sentence carrying a Chinese translation underneath, and a line of Chinese pinyin.


    Very suitable for small children to see.


    However, in the next second, the warm smile on the youth¡¯s face, suddenly froze.


    ¡°Once upon a time, there lived a little lion in the forest, and his name was Benny. He was a happy little lion, he had the most gentle mother in the whole animal kingdom, Janet, and the smartest good friend, Nick. Their story begins now.¡±


    ¡­¡­


    The book slipped from his hands, and the youth stumbled and fell on the bed, his face bloodless, his mind buzzing.


    Reading the yellowing page, it was like a key forgotten by the years had opened the door to his dusty memories for many years.


    The youth¡¯s thoughts became incomparably confused and uncontrollable, and two blurred faces, at this moment, flashed into his mind.


    ¡°Wei Wei, Mommy¡¯s plane leaves for Vancouver tomorrow morning, you don¡¯t have to see me off.¡±


    ¡°Mommy made you dinner, eat up, sweetie, it¡¯s your favorite dish.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that, although Quantum Entanglement does have this super distance effect, once you accept this basis, the next derivation will fall into place¡­¡±


    ¡°This girl is your girlfriend? Quite pretty.¡±


    They were in his ears, constantly narrating, buzzing words like ringing bells, and causing him to develop severe tinnitus.


    The heating in the house was set at an optimum 23 degrees, but the youth shivered.


    He attempted to convince himself.


    Janet went to Vancouver, that¡¯s right, she emigrated when he was little. And Nick, whenever he encountered difficulties in learning would carefully answer for him, he¡¯s his best friend.


    But in the next second, there was a creepy voice in his heart, deep in his soul, questioning him.


    WhO¡¯s NiCk? Is hE sOMEonE yOu KnOw FrOm ThE oRPHaNaGe? Or iS hE sOmEoNe yOu WeNt tO sChOoL wItH?


    WhO iS JAnEt aGAin? Is JaNeT reaLly yOur mOThEr¡¯s EngLiSh nAMe?


    If ThEy reALly eXisT, wHy hAVe yOu fELT sO, SO LONeLY fOr So mANy yEaRs?


    WHy dO yOu eAT aLoNe, sLeEp ALoNe, aNd Do eVEryTHIng aLoNe eVErY dAy?


    WHy wERen¡¯T tHeY tHErE whEn yoU WerE hANgINg fRoM tHe cLOThEsLIne oN ThE bALcoNy bY yOUr fAThEr?


    WHy wERen¡¯T tHEy thErE whEN yOu wERe DisCaRDed bY yOuR gRaNdFAthER?


    WhY wEREn¡¯t tHeY tHErE wHEn YoU wErE stUFFeD WiTh EaRTHwOrMs iN yOur coLLaR?


    WhERe wErE ThEy, wHeN yOuR liFE wAs tAKeN oVeR By A LaRgE sWaTh of dARkNEsS?


    The two figures in his mind became more and more blurred, and in the end, he could only see two human faces without five features, miserable white and hollow.


    It is like a ghastly figure coming out of Shura¡¯s hell.


    At that very moment, the youth remembered a fragment of the past that he had completely forgotten.


    He remembered that he seemed to have made a call one day and ordered two dishes. Then, the delivery boy arrived more than an hour late, and he handed it to him, hoping he would not complain about their store.


    He remembered that he opened that takeaway, poured the two servings into two separate porcelain plates, and threw the takeaway box into the trash.


    He remembered the day he pulled the cap off the pen and, on the apology letter, wrote down his mother¡¯s name.


    He remembered the day he walked Nick out the door to the dark, empty hallway.


    The sound-activated lights on the building would come on whenever someone walked past, but not that day. He even waved at the darkness, then closed the door.


    ¡°AAHHH!¡±


    The youth suddenly had a splitting headache at this moment, and he hugged himself in pain, shivering.


    Who are they, exactly?


    And who is he?


    Bloodshot filled his eyes, and his brain gradually became delirious.


    His eyes widened in fear as he looked around him. In the large bed and almost empty room, the cold, gray furniture in front of him seemed to scream at him.


    ¡°Fake, we are all fake! You yourself are actually fake too!¡±


    He stumbled backwards and sat up nervously as he fell back into the soft mattress.


    It¡¯s all fake, everything in this world, all fake.


    He felt like he had stepped into the air and fallen into a ten-thousand-foot cliff, his body and consciousness falling uncontrollably downward.


    ¡°No, no, don¡¯t¡ª¡±


    Boundless darkness and fear, in this instant, completely overwhelmed him.


    In desperation, the youth suddenly thought of the girl who was in his arms earlier and let him kiss her.


    Her lips, with their real touch and intoxicating aroma, had left him wanting more.


    Yes, yes, Man Man, he still has his Man Man.


    Man Man would not lie to him. She had embraced him under his umbrella just now and in the afternoon, under the desk, she was still in his arms, kissing him back passionately and youthfully.


    The youth¡¯s panic-stricken heart settled a little, as if he had grabbed a lifeline.


    He stood up shakily and took his cell phone out of his pocket, fumbling through the phone book.


    And saw the only number that existed in it¡­


    He shakes his hand and tries to tap in, but in the next second, he remembers the words she once said.


    ¡°Hi Nick, I¡¯m Zhang Man.¡±


    ¡®Boom!¡ª¡®


    The phone slipped from his hand and fell to pieces.


    A blizzard is coming.

 CH 43

    ¨CWhat¡¯s not in your fate, you can¡¯t touch it, what¡¯s in your fate, you can¡¯t escape.


    The words of the people around enlightened Zhang Man, so much that goose bumps appeared all over her body.


    She at this moment, feel haunted by the thought of Li Wei. She desperately suppressed the panic inside her and took out the phone to call him.


    But a cold, mechanical female voice came from the other side.


    ¡°The number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable, please try again later.¡±


    She called again undeterred, but the phone was still off.


    Maybe it¡¯s because the battery is dead? Or is it because you are studying and are afraid of being disturbed?


    But that¡¯s unlikely. He had just said he would take her home, and she had to talk him into agreeing to her coming back on her own.


    Before she left, he even reminded her to call him when she got home.


    With the heartbreaking cries, the hum of the police car, the howling of the gale¡ªZhang Man, whose heart was pounding, turned around and walked away from the crowd, walking faster and faster, until it turned into running.


    She hailed a taxi at the entrance and said urgently, ¡°Please go to Wancheng Haijing!¡±


    She had to go back to him.


    When she sat down, she realized that she had been trembling the whole time.


    ¨CSometimes, when a nightmare comes, there¡¯s always a hint of it.


    Reaching Li Wei¡¯s building, Zhang Man hurriedly took the elevator upstairs and rang the doorbell of his house.


    Unfortunately, there was no response for a long, long time.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart skipped a beat, intuition told her that something was wrong.


    She frantically rang the doorbell, rapping hard on the door every now and then, shouting, ¡°Li Wei, open the door, it¡¯s Man Man!¡±


    She ran all the way here, sucked in too much cold wind, so her throat was congested and sore, and her voice was a hundred times hoarser than usual at this point.


    After about ten minutes or so, the youth finally opened the door.


    The moment the door opened, Zhang Man knew that her intuition was indeed true.


    Something happened to him.


    His home is very different from just before she left¡ªon the dining room¡¯s floor, the table and chairs fell across the floor, and the fragments of several glasses were very striking. The pillows on the sofa, which had been neatly arranged, were now scattered all around, and one was even thrown onto the windowsill.


    However, what is even more frightening is the way the youth looks at the moment.


    His clothes were wrinkled, the top two buttons were ripped off, revealing terrible threads, and there were a few shocking scratches on his exposed neck and collarbone.


    Like there¡¯s some kind of fight¡­


    He stepped on the floor with his bare feet, his eyes were red and the dense, dry blood was spread across the bottom of his eyes.


    He bit his lower lip extremely hard, even biting out blood, but he himself did not seem to notice it at all. He looked at her eyes, there is no longer the warmth and eagerness of the afternoon, but a constantly changing look, ruthless, violent, panic, and broken¡ªcompared to the way he was once out of control, at this time, he is more like a beast facing extreme danger with its tail up, claws and teeth out and ready to fight.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart fell with a ¡°thud¡±, she already had a very bad feeling.


    ¡°Li Wei, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    When the youth saw that the visitor was her, he was silent for a moment and collected the fearful and violent aura from his body.


    He pulled her in, closed the door, and looked at her carefully, as if trying to distinguish all the details of her face.


    A few moments later, he reached out and cautiously touched her face, so lightly, as if afraid to break a precious jade.


    ¡°Man Man, are you real? Or am I just imagining you right now? Are you like my mom and them? Did I also make-up the ¡®you¡¯ in front of me as well?¡±


    His voice was hoarse and dry with uncontrollable trembling, like the last gasp of a dying man.


    He looked seriously at the girl in front of him, and in a corner of his heart, something completely shattered.


    He couldn¡¯t take it anymore.


    It is really, unacceptable.


    Janet is a fake, Nick is a fake, and even his Man Man is also a fake.


    He had held this girl tightly in the dimly lit school yard, calling her name without stopping. He had circled her in the narrow passage of the hotel and kissed her fervently and indulgently. He had stayed awake all night with his eyes open in the dark, tucking her in again and again.


    The fallen leaves they stepped on together, the snow they stepped on together, the sea they saw together, how could it be all fake?


    His beloved Man Man, how can she be fake? She is his cure to drive away the night from now on, is the only faith that he has identified in his heart, so¡­how can she be fake?


    His world, his faith, collapsed in this instant.


    If she is a fake, how can he still continue on living?


    The youth just looked straight at the girl in front of him, his throat rolled, but he could not say another word. He can only be like a wounded and lonely beast, crumbling and wailing in the dark world that only he knows.


    Zhang Man has long since burst into tears.


    She didn¡¯t know exactly what was going on, but she knew that he was afraid, he probably realized it.


    The realization that he had been delusional for so many years, the realization that his mother and Nick were both fakes. And, as in his previous life, he was so delirious that he was unable to tell what was real and what was not anymore.


    He even thought that she was also his delusion.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart, at this moment, surged with boundless panic.


    What¡¯s not in your fate, you can¡¯t touch it, what¡¯s in your fate, you can¡¯t escape.


    He went round and round, but still had one foot in the dark vortex.


    She suddenly began to wonder what her rebirth could change. Obviously he had stopped deluding himself about those unreal people some time ago, and obviously his condition had gradually stabilized after being with her.


    She thought that she was his cure, but she never thought that fate had played a huge joke on her.


    His outburst, surprisingly, was even earlier than in his previous life.


    He can¡¯t escape.


    ¡°Li Wei, look at me! I¡¯m real! I¡¯m your Man Man!


    With tears streaming down her face, Zhang Man gently patted the youth¡¯s shoulder and stroked his face haphazardly, trying to soothe him.


    Yet, the lights in his eyes are getting more and more empty, as his whole body slowly calms down.


    He even turned to her and smiled softly.


    They were right all along.


    He¡¯s just as crazy as his father.


    ¨CThe girl in front of him, however, was so beautiful that she looked like an angel that did not exist on earth.


    How could he think that an angel would belong to him? Especially a mortal like him who was loathed by everyone.


    Zhang Man saw that he was unresponsive, so she threw herself on him fiercely and kissed him passionately. It seemed that only a kiss could give vent to her anxieties.


    Her voice trembled, and her kiss was tinged with salty tears: ¡°Li Wei, if you don¡¯t believe me, kiss me. You feel, if I¡¯m real.¡±


    Her lips were soft and warm, burning through the last remaining trace of sanity in the youth¡¯s body.


    His body stiffened, and before his mind could react, his body had reacted first. He lifted his arms to embrace her, pushed her against the doorway, and kissed wildly.


    There was no more tenderness and lingering, he sucked her lips without pity, gently biting her lips, and indulged in this illusion with reckless abandon.


    Even if it is false, he still wants to¡­ to keep this unreal illusion.


    Zhang Man has never known this kind of him, like a raging storm, the way he is now is like a person about to drown but is desperately trying with all his might to grab the last straw.


    His kiss gave her a twinge of pain and even a taste of blood on the tip of her tongue.


    But she didn¡¯t let go. She held him firmly, kissed him tenderly, and honestly let him feel her truest self.


    But the youth seems not content with that.


    He kissed her cheeks, her ears, and buried his head on her neck, nibbling gently. He pushed her hands to the sides, took off her heavy down jacket, and advanced even further to unbutton her top two buttons.


    His movements were tinged with trembling, but crumbled to a halt when he saw her white, delicate collarbone.


    The youth stumbled back a step and crouched on the ground, holding his head and wailing in pain.


    ¡°Li Wei, you¡¯re a piece of shit. She¡­she¡¯s your angel.¡±


    Zhang Man, feeling distressed, squatted down and gasped for breath with tears.


    She surprisingly did not know how to prove, at this moment, the reality of this world. She also does not know how to prove that she herself is real.


    She remembered her former life, the ¡®him¡¯ whose worldview collapsed. For him who originally existed alone in this world, the collapse of his worldview was an irresistible storm, enough to destroy all his perceptions and insistence.


    She was worried that he would become like that again, as he had in his previous life.


    Zhang Man looked out of the living room window and the snow filled the air with a sense of despair that precedes the end of days.


    She abruptly wiped away her tears and took the youth¡¯s hand.


    ¡°Boyfriend. I¡¯ll show you the world, alright?¡±


    She then took the coat from the door and put it on him, put his shoes on and pulled him out.


    ¡ª


    On the streets, the snow flurries, even in such weather, there is no shortage of pedestrians returning home at night in the city.


    She pulled the youth with hollow eyes and strode aimlessly through the streets.


    The cold wind blew through their hair and snowflakes fell on their interlocked hands.


    She held up a snowflake and put it in front of the youth¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°Look, it¡¯s snow.¡±


    She led him, walking past one glowing streetlight after another.


    She reached out and pointed to one of them, ¡°This is a street lamp, it lights up the darkness at night, it¡¯s the night watchman of the city.¡±


    The youth¡¯s eyes gradually become less empty and confused just now, he looked at the street lamp emitting a dim soft light but did not speak.


    Zhang Man bit her lip, not enough, still not enough.


    She pulled him along and continued on her way through the wind and snow as they crossed one of the city¡¯s criss-crossed streets. The large city did not stop its operations because of weather, and has long been ready to meet one test after another from nature.


    At the noisy traffic lights, a few pedestrians held their heads against the wind and snow, hurrying forward. A bus full of passengers, honking its ear-splitting horn, grabbed the only two seconds left of the green light and rushed across the road.


    ¡°These are the people coming home from work.¡±


    ¡°This is public transportation ¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°This is the store ¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°This is the liveliest bar in the city, with the strongest drinks and the hottest music ¡­¡­¡±


    She introduced him to the world one sentence at a time, as if she wanted to have the world spread out and broken down for him to see.


    Zhang Man looked at the youth beside her, his eyes, reflecting the lights of the city at night.


    Still not enough.


    This vast and great world has not only traces of the existence of human society, but also boundless and magnificent natural scenery.


    Zhang Man held the hand of the youth, and ran like crazy in the cold snow.


    By the time they stopped once again, there was an empty beach in front of them, the sea roaring in the middle of a snowstorm.


    Zhang Man, facing the sea, shouted loudly and firmly: ¡°Li Wei, look, this is the sea, the most mysterious and broadest sea. Do you hear it? The sea is ebbing, that is the sound of the waves. I was once here, singing to you, and you drew an entire field of roses for me on this beach.¡±


    ¡­¡­


    ¡°The beach in spring is perfect for walking around. Where couples and families frolic and play¡­¡±


    ¡°When the tide fell at dusk in the summer, people would come with baskets and small shovels and dig for scallops and oysters.¡±


    ¡°In autumn and winter, there will be a violent sea breeze like today.¡±


    ¡°Unfortunately, we can¡¯t see it today. On an unusually clear night, the sky above this beach will be covered with tiny points of stars¡ªall your favorite stars and the universe.¡±


    She turned around and looked him in the eyes.


    ¡°Do you believe me? Don¡¯t be afraid, this world, this snow, this beach under your feet, this sea in front of you, including me, is all real.¡±


    She hugged him gently and tenderly at that moment, buried her head in his chest, and let the tears well up.


    The youth¡¯s expression, finally, broke in this moment, and the person he loved, in the clumsiest and crude way, tried desperately to wake him up.


    This world, vast and magnificent, is full of rich and realistic details.


    The mottled grease peeling off the street store signs, the hurried look on the faces of passersby, every strand of her hair flying in the wind and snow¡­¡­ everything is not something he can simply imagine.


    He believed it, he thought.


    The sea roaring fiercely in the snowstorm, the golden beach wet by the waves, as well as the flakes of cold snow that fell on him, and the soft, warm girl in his arms.


    It is indeed all real.


    It¡¯s not the illusion that frightened him.


    The youth curled his lips and woefully fell into tears.

 CH 44

    ¨CWinter, snowy night, seaside.


    Under the snowy sky, Zhang Man hugged the youth she was in love with.


    The waves lapped against the rocks and sand, the sea breeze whistled, and snowflakes fell silently on the ground, in the sea, and many, many more, landing also on the faces and bodies of the two.


    The extremely low temperature gave Zhang Man goosebumps, and even though the youth¡¯s cold embrace at this time did not give her any warmth, she tried hard to hold herself back from shivering.


    She could only calmly feel his uncontrollable trembling and choking sobs.


    She thought that perhaps the most difficult step had already been taken.


    In an extremely severe mental shock, people will begin to delirium, the same way Li Wei just did¡ªhe could not distinguish what is reality, what is false. If no one comes to wake him up at this time, the collapse of his worldview will cause an irreparable blow to his psyche.


    And yet, Zhang Man is not optimistic at all¡­


    No matter how much he knew the world was real, it was still too big a blow for him.


    No one wants to admit that they are really ¡°crazy¡±. He used to not care about what people said because he thought he wasn¡¯t and he felt that they had misunderstood him.


    How sure he was before, at this moment, after he learned the truth, the panic in his heart will be more intense.


    What¡¯s more, he lost two of the most important ¡°people¡± in his life in a flash.


    Pain can never be measured.


    ¡ªwas what Zhang Man was thinking. At this moment, his heart must be experiencing deep pain that she could not imagine.


    ¡­¡­


    When the two finally got home, the youth seemed calmer than before, but still didn¡¯t talk.


    The two people¡¯s hair, and clothes have long been wet by the rain and snow, and their shoes have been soaked by the waves on the beach, as if they had just been fished out of the sea.


    Zhang Man led him inside, pressed his shoulders and sat him on the big sofa in the living room, and went to the bathroom to boil hot water for him. But as soon as she took two steps, the youth followed her.


    Like a lonely shadow, it can only follow its master.


    ¡°Li Wei, you go sit on the couch for a while, I¡¯ll plug in the water heater. We both need to take a hot shower or we¡¯ll catch a cold.¡±


    The youth reached over and pulled her sleeve, looked at her, shook his head and did not speak¡ª a pair of dark eyes stubbornly looking at her.


    Zhang Man softened almost immediately.


    She really can¡¯t do anything with him either.


    ¡°Alright¡­ You can stand by and watch me then?¡±


    The youth nodded and took her hand.


    When the hot water was ready, Zhang Man pushed him into the shower, and he was unwilling once again.


    Zhang Man laughed softly and teased him, ¡°We can¡¯t both wash together, right? If you are willing, I have no problem.¡±


    ¡°Man Man.¡±


    His voice sounds so hoarse, different from the low-pitched, mellow, and gentle voice he had before, at present, it carries an indescribable burning sensation, as if he had taken a sip of sulfuric acid.


    ¡°Will you join me there? You stand by and keep me company¡­¡­ I don¡¯t want to be alone.¡±


    He never wanted to be alone again.


    Zhang Man looked at him¡­The usual sure and confident youth¡­ It seems, he has never been so confused and helpless until now.


    In her heart, a sharp pain spread and she had to compromise.


    Fortunately, in his bathroom, there is a separate shower room, and a waterproof shower curtain hung inside the glass door¡ª after pulling it closed, she sat in the doorway without seeing anything.


    ¡ª


    The youth was clearly in an extremely agitated mood.


    He was calling her name almost every half minute to make sure she was out there.


    Zhang Man was helpless, so she resorted to being outside, singing softly.


    Her mind is also very confused right now, so she can¡¯t remember too many lyrics. One after another, she sings the words where she remembers them, and hums them randomly when she doesn¡¯t.


    Good thing it does work.


    When the youth came out after showering, she also went in to take one. The youth, like her, moved a small bench to sit at the doorway to wait for her.


    He sat upright, his eyes staring at the snow-white tiles plastered on the bathroom walls, wondering about something.


    The two were separated by a glass door and shower curtain, one draped in a bathrobe, the other wearing nothing in the shower, but without any distractions or desires, they just sang and talked like a couple of old friends.


    Zhang Man was trying to hold back her voice from shaking as she sang, but still under the dense hot water, her tears flowed.


    She loves him too much yet he endures too much pain for his age.


    She didn¡¯t know what to do to soothe the excruciating wounds in his heart. She even knew nothing of how to love him in order to fill his boundless loneliness.


    It seems that no amount of love is enough.


    This is where she suddenly felt small.


    Compared with the world, and time, and fate, her power is so small. She used to think that she have many advantages, and her stubbornness was a good thing.


    She had thought, if one year isn¡¯t enough, then five years, if five years isn¡¯t enough, then ten years¡ªthat there¡¯s always a way she can get him out of his fate in peace no matter how long it would take.


    But what happened today was just as big a blow to her.


    Whether it¡¯s the grandmother who still lost her granddaughter, or him who still discovered his paranoia.


    She then realized that she was actually incapable¡­ to fight fate completely.


    Zhang Man wiped away the water on her face and tears, and kept consoling herself in her heart that no matter what, no matter how it ends up, as long as she loves him and he loves her, it¡¯s always better than the previous life.


    The two of them finished tidying up and it was already more than eight o¡¯clock in the evening. Zhang Man couldn¡¯t help but worry about Li Wei, so she called Zhang Huifang and talked her into agreeing to stay at Li Wei¡¯s place tonight after making promises.


    She then takes the youth by the hand and pulls him into the bedroom.


    The youth¡¯s eyes were downcast; the slightly longer hair in front of his forehead was blocking his eyes as he had just washed his hair. He hadn¡¯t said much, but he seemed calm and well-behaved.


    In Li Wei¡¯s very empty room, a huge soft king-size bed stands out.


    Both wearing bathrobes, Zhang Man pulled the youth, sat on the bed and asked him softly, ¡°Boyfriend, can you find me something to wear to bed?¡±


    Her own clothes are, well¡­ soaking wet.


    The youth nodded and pointed to the closet, gesturing for her to get it herself.


    Zhang Man opened the wooden closet next to the bed almost as wide as the wall.


    He didn¡¯t have many clothes, and the closet looked a little empty, but each piece of clothing was neatly folded according to material and style.


    Zhang Man picked one of his long T-shirts, which is more than enough for her height as a dress.


    She tried to go to the bathroom to change, but she had barely taken two steps when the youth rose nervously from the bed and grabbed the sleeve of her bathrobe.


    She looked into his obstinate eyes and let out a slight sigh in her heart.


    He looks so much like a fragile child inside at this moment.


    ¡°Then, can you close your eyes? I¡¯ll just change in the room.¡±


    The youth nodded and sat on the bed with his eyes tightly closed.


    To reassure her, he even turned his head on the side.


    But his hand still grabbed the sleeve of her bathrobe.


    Zhang Man smiled helplessly, ¡°you¡­¡­ how can I change my clothes if you don¡¯t let go?¡±


    Only then did he let go.


    Zhang Man quickly got dressed and breathed a sigh of relief.


    Even though his eyes were closed, he was, after all, right in front of her¡ª and she was just¡­ well¡­ a little uncomfortable is all.


    She took out another set of his pajamas from the closet, ¡°Okay, I¡¯m done changing, you change too and we¡¯ll sleep, okay?¡±


    He remained silent, took the pajamas, and reached straight for the bathrobe.


    Zhang Man immediately closed her eyes. She can¡¯t take advantage of him at this time.


    She listened to the sound of his ¡°fine rustling¡± changing clothes, and only opened her eyes when the sound stopped.


    ¡°Shall we sleep now, boyfriend?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Mhm.¡±


    The youth reached out again to take her by the hand.


    Zhang Man sat with him at the head of the bed and lifted the covers to lie inside, freeing up a spot for him.


    After he too had settled down, she reached out and dimmed the lights in the room ¨C leaving only the bedside one on. Tonight, she thought, he would not want to turn off the light.


    The house is very soundproof. Although there is a fierce snowstorm outside, the room is very peaceful¡ªPeaceful to the point that nothing seems to be happening outside.


    The world is like this, the tragedies and misfortunes that happen to each person do not make any impact on this huge planet.


    Zhang Man turned sideways and leaned into the youth¡¯s arms.


    She felt her tears, silently soaking the sheets beneath her cheeks¡ª after a whole day of collapsing, at such a dim hour; she couldn¡¯t resist, and finally shed a tear once again.


    ¡°ManMan¡­¡­¡±


    The youth suddenly reached out and hugged her tightly.


    She heard his fiercely suppressed gasp of pain.


    ¡°ManMan¡­¡­ they all left me, I only have you¡­ You¡­¡­ don¡¯t leave me, okay?¡±


    The cold of the winter night came through the wall, and then penetrated his chest, and the stabbing pain spread through his internal organs.


    At the moment he can only feel a touch of warmth by holding her close¡ª so that he doesn¡¯t freeze into ice.


    ¡°I won¡¯t leave you. I¡¯ll always be with you, always.¡±


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t know how to comfort him, and could only whisper in his ear over and over again and reassure him.


    Forever ¡­¡­ is it.


    The youth calmed down a bit.


    He thought that he could not be so selfish as to deceive her, and that she had the right to know all about it before making a choice.


    ¡°You know what, Janet¡­ she¡­ she¡¯s really gentle.¡±


    His voice was hoarse, like sand and gravel in a stream.


    ¡°She immigrated to Canada when I was very young, but came back to see me a few times a year.¡±


    ¡°When I first came to the orphanage as a child, I was very uncomfortable living there. But suddenly, one day, she came back. She waved at me from the fence outside. I snuck out the side door of the orphanage, and she was a long way away as she opened her arms to catch me and said, ¡®Baby, it¡¯s been a long time.''¡±


    ¡°Just like you, Man Man, she¡¯s a gentle and beautiful person.¡±


    ¡°She took me to climb the mountain near the orphanage to see the red leaves all over the mountain. When I got tired of climbing, she sat at the top of the mountain and let me lie on her lap, singing a gentle lullaby to lull me to sleep.¡±


    He said and laughed: ¡°I still remember that time, I fell on the mountain and came back dirty, and was scolded for a long time by the aunt in charge of washing clothes in the yard.¡±


    ¡°And Nick.¡±


    ¡°The memory of Nick seems to have come to me only when I was a little older. When I was in elementary school, I was so bored that I went through the small library in the orphanage and pulled out the leftover junior high and high school physics textbooks that other people used, wrote down anything I didn¡¯t know, and would communicate with Nick every month or two.¡±


    ¡°He would contradict me when I was wrong and praise me unstintingly when I came up with the right answer.¡±


    ¡°The other day when you came, he even said, ¡°Li Wei, this girl, is your girlfriend? Very pretty.¡±


    He recalled the only warmth he had left over the years and could hardly restrain the corners of his lips from curving.


    But the next second, after remembering that it was all unreal, he clutched his head in pain: ¡°But you know what? I suddenly can¡¯t remember either of their faces today. The two people, who are so important to me, actually do not exist. It turns out that I have never had any family or friends. They¡­ I imagined them myself. I¡¯ve been¡­ so many years¡­¡­ I¡¯ve been¡­ for so many years¡­¡­¡±


    He said, with a slight choke in his voice.


    ¡°Man Man, I can¡¯t accept it.¡±

 CH 45

    ¡ª¡±Man Man, I can¡¯t accept it.¡±


    Zhang Man was speechless and could only lift her head and eagerly kiss the stubble that had just grown on his chin.


    She reached out her hand and pressed her chest.


    Looking at him like this, her chest was so painful, that she was almost suffocating.


    The youth calmed down a bit and continued, ¡°They came for me today just as usual.¡±


    ¡°Before you came back, they both, at the same time, appeared¡­ standing right in front of me, talking to me in my ear all the time¡­¡±


    What he didn¡¯t say was that he had just had a brief period of time where he lost his mind and he didn¡¯t know what he had done himself.


    When he came back to his senses, she was already beside him.


    He said, closing his eyes, as if he had suddenly given up the struggle.


    ¡°Man Man, they were right. I¡¯m really¡­¡­ really crazy.¡±


    ¡°In all my years, I¡¯ve deluded myself into thinking of two people who don¡¯t exist at all.¡±


    He lowered his head and buried it in her neck, desperate and in pain, his voice so low it was almost inaudible.


    ¡°Do you still want me, Man Man?¡±


    He was so crazy that even his own grandfather was afraid of him and abandoned him.


    Even, he disgusted himself.


    Would you still want me then?


    Would you be afraid? Are you going to ¡­¡­ leave me?


    ¡°If you want to leave me ¡­¡­¡±


    ¡­Then I will let you go.


    The latter part of the sentence could not be said, because if it was said, perhaps his heart would explode from the pain¡ª she¡¯s all he has.


    If she left him, would he still be able to live?


    Zhang Man listened to the youth¡¯s words and eagerly covered his mouth.


    ¡°I won¡¯t leave you. Li Wei, do you still remember what I said to you that time in the schoolyard? I said, I will always stay with you, and will never ever leave you. Don¡¯t worry, you¡¯re just sick and you¡¯ll get better, just like having a cold and fever.¡±


    She looked at him in silence and, fearing he wouldn¡¯t believe her, eagerly held out her hand, ¡°Here, touch my arm. I didn¡¯t get goose bumps at all when I heard you say that. Really, I¡¯m not scared at all.¡±


    ¡°In fact, when I came to your house that time, I discovered your illness the day Nick was ¡®here¡¯. I calmly said ¡®hello¡¯ to him at that time, and I really wasn¡¯t afraid at all. ¡± ¨C (Refer to chapter 20)


    Li Wei¡¯s heart trembled.


    Too much has happened today for him to subconsciously ignore the matter.


    So it¡¯s like that, she actually knew about his illness all along? She knew all this and still chose to stay with him?


    Even knowing all of this, she still embraced him so tenderly and kissed him back sweetly?


    He eagerly raised his eyes to look at her. The young girl¡¯s face still bore clearly visible traces of tears, and her red eyes looked at him stubbornly, seemingly until she saw him believe it.


    Such familiar stubbornness suddenly reminded him of the time when, in order to convince herself that she was really sick, she held out her hand to show him the needle marks in her hand.


    His Man Man, from beginning to end, treated him the same.


    Even if the world abandoned him, she still wanted to be there for him¡ª she didn¡¯t give up on him, like everyone else did.


    The fierce pain and panic in the heart of the young man gradually dissipated, he suddenly began to rejoice¡ªamidst the million misfortunes, he was finally fortunate enough to be able to embrace her in his arms.


    He hugged her tightly and gently rubbed his chin against the center of her hair.


    ¡°Man Man, go to sleep, you must be tired today.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not. You¡­do you not believe me?¡±


    Zhang Man stubbornly raised her head to look at him. She was very tired, very sleepy, but before getting a reply, she simply couldn¡¯t sleep.


    ¡°Mhm, I believe.¡±


    He decided, this time he had to be selfish. He had given her a chance, and since she had said she wouldn¡¯t leave, well, he wasn¡¯t going to let go again.


    The youth patted the back of the young girl in his arms one by one, trying to restrain his inner emotions from surging.


    Zhang Man was slightly relieved to get his answer.


    As long as he can let her accompany him, even the biggest difficulties, she will accompany him to cross over.


    After worrying all night and running in the snowstorm for so long, the psychological torture combined with the physical weakness made her head dizzy at the moment.


    She tried to open her eyes to look at him, but she could not restrain herself and passed out.


    ¡­¡­


    Outside the window, the snowstorm that roared all night quietly stopped at this point, and the city fell into a peaceful slumber after the heavy snowfall.


    In the room, the bedside lamp was turned down to its lowest brightness, and the faint yellow light shone on the faces of them two, quiet and warm.


    The air conditioner goes into a quiet mode at this point, working silently.


    The silence that belongs to the night comes.


    Zhang Man¡¯s breathing sounds more and more stable, while the youth beside her does not dare to sleep at all ¨C he still has palpitations. He fears that after he falls asleep, this real warm body in his arms will again become his delusion.


    And then suddenly, he heard a very light footstep.


    ¡®Da¡ª da¡ª da¡­¡­¡¯


    It was eerie and creepy on such a quiet night.


    He opened his eyes abruptly and found Nick standing at the head of the bed.


    He suddenly had a face.


    He grinned hideously and looked at him provocatively¡ª his hands, folded, in a dangerous position, resting on the neck of the young girl in his arms.


    He wants to hurt her.


    The youth felt his blood ignite and the nerves in the corners of his forehead pulsate. Before the violence in his heart reached its peak, he grabbed Nick¡¯s wrist and clamped down hard on him, pulling him viciously outward.


    He would not allow anyone to hurt her.


    His strength was tremendous and unrelenting, so in the next second, not surprisingly, he heard the other party¡¯s cry of surprise.


    The voice, however, was not Nick¡¯s.


    He woke up with a start and realized that what he had just squeezed was actually Zhang Man¡¯s wrist.


    As if he was electrocuted, he immediately let go of her hand.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Zhang Man rubbed her drowsy eyes, she just fell asleep for a while, and suddenly felt a pain in her wrist, and woke up with a cry of surprise.


    The youth gritted his teeth and tried desperately to control his voice from trembling.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing, I¡­¡­just had a bad dream.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart sank.


    This incident is really too big a blow to him.


    She pressed her temples in an effort to force herself awake.


    ¡°Li Wei, you go to sleep first, okay? I¡¯ll sleep after I see you sleep. Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll always be by your side all the time, I won¡¯t leave. You should not think too much, tomorrow the sun will rise and everything will be fine.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­Mhm.¡±


    The youth closed his eyes as he spoke, seemingly listening to her words.


    Zhang Man opened her eyes and gently stroked his shoulders to lull him to sleep. She lay strongly for a while, listening to his increasingly long breaths, before letting out a sigh of relief.


    The side of the youth¡¯s face was calm and delicate in the faint light, his brow stretched, his long eyelashes quietly casting two shadows on his cheeks.


    He was asleep as if he had not experienced any misfortune or pain.


    It¡¯s good to be asleep, and as long as he doesn¡¯t think about it, everything will be fine.


    Zhang Man leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his lips.


    She felt the warmth and softness of his lips and couldn¡¯t resist another kiss.


    Then she leaned over to his ear and said very softly, ¡°Boyfriend, you must get better. I will always be there for you.¡±


    ¨CShe has to stay with him until they grow old.


    After saying that, she could not resist sleep and tiredness again, rolled over and fell into a deep sleep.


    Just then, the youth who seemed to have fallen asleep suddenly opened his previously closed eyes behind the young girl, and he could no longer control the shaking.


    ¨CHe had just returned to his senses when he found one of his hands clutching her wrist, and the other, resting on her slender, fragile neck.


    It turned out that it was not Nick who wanted to choke her, but he himself.


    The youth¡¯s heart welled up with a burst of fear that gave him the creeps.


    The pajamas on his back had been completely soaked with cold sweat, and the cold touch from the evaporation of sweat at the moment made him shudder violently.


    He suddenly recalled the day that his father hung him on the drying rod on the balcony and was so delirious that he laughed while telling him, ¡°If you don¡¯t dry it when it¡¯s wet, you¡¯ll catch a cold and get sick and die¡­¡­¡±


    Then a rope was tied around his neck and hung him on the balcony, after which he was left to struggle desperately and painfully, and was never bothered again.


    ¨CHe would have been dead if the neighbors hadn¡¯t found out.


    The feeling of suffocation came violently, the knot of fate, at this time tightened again around his throat. Yes, how could he forget it¡­ he and his father are the same after all.


    They are just as crazy and just as dangerous.


    So, it is likely that at some point in the future, the person who is struggling and on the verge of suffocation will most likely turn out to be her.


    The youth reached out and covered his mouth, curling up in pain, gasping silently in such a quiet night, his nails had long been pinched hard into his palm. An unspeakable burning sensation suddenly arose in his stomach, so uncomfortable that he almost vomited.


    He looked beyond despair at the sleeping girl in front of him.


    Her back was lithe, and her long, satin hair was spread all over the pillow. She was lying on her side, sleeping with her back to him, and gave her entire back to him with utmost trust.


    She was not the least bit wary of him.


    The youth shakily lifted his hand and placed it under the bedside lamp.


    Through the yellowish light, he looked carefully at his hand¡ª a long, strong, and sinewy man¡¯s hand, which has the ability to do many things it wants to do, such as, for example, snapping the slender, soft neck in front of him.


    His upper and lower teeth keep chattering and he suddenly felt very cold.


    A penetrating cold.


    He wanted to reach out and embrace the source of warmth in front of him, but withdrew his hand the moment it touched her soft hair.


    How dare you, touch her again?!


    Did you just want her to stay with you for the rest of your life? How can you possibly condone that?! Can you let her be around a madman every day, in fear, even facing all kinds of deadly dangers?!


    The youth closed his eyes, curled up his index finger, opened his mouth and bit down hard on his knuckles. His sharp teeth easily bit through the skin, blood gushed out, salty and bitter.


    Only then could he shift the pain in his heart a little, the kind of pain that was killing him.


    He knew that it was all over.


    Let her go, you let her go. She is a girl who is more beautiful than an angel ¡­


    How can you bear it?


    She accidentally tore a hole in his world from the outside and then burrowed in with a rolling spark, catching him off guard that way. But he knew that maybe he couldn¡¯t get out for the rest of his life and that he couldn¡¯t be so selfish as to keep her inside to accompany him as he fell into the infinite darkness.


    He was so lucky to suddenly meet this lost girl one day and fall in love with her. She stumbled into his darkness, and now he had to send her out himself.


    At that moment, the youth was hopeless, and shivering with red eyes.


    ¡ª-

 CH 46

    The next day, after a whole week of snowstorm, it finally cleared up in N City.


    Zhang Man got up early and went online to make an appointment with the psychiatrist she had last consulted.


    Since Li Wei has known his delusions, it is good to receive a little psychotherapy at this stage, even without medication.


    Additionally, she was still worried that he was traumatized by something she didn¡¯t know about.


    After Zhang Man made an appointment, it was a little difficult for her to speak to him about it¡ªfearing that he would become resistant.


    After all, no one wants to admit that they have a mental illness.


    So she gritted her teeth and said, ¡°Li Wei, will you go to the hospital with me today? I have contacted a doctor who is an expert in this field, very powerful.¡±


    The youth listened and sank slightly.


    He thought for a while, as if doing a full mental struggle, before he smiled helplessly: ¡°Alright, then you go with me, okay?¡±


    Zhang Man saw his smile, her heart was relieved.


    Finally smiling¡­ It looks like he¡¯s getting better after all.


    No matter what, as long as he is willing to overcome this, she can stay with him through the difficult times.


    But she was still a little uneasy, as this was too big a blow for him, and she had to be careful everywhere.


    Zhang Man shook her head and said to herself, ¡°No matter what, let¡¯s go to the hospital first.¡±


    The two of them went to the last hospital with their documents and appointment slips.


    In front of the hospital, many doctors and nurses who were not on duty worked together to clear the road of snow and thick ice¡ªthey had to make sure that the ambulance route was clear at all times.


    Zhang Man lightly took Li Wei to the office where she had been last time.


    The doctor should have known her, and to avoid revealing herself, she did not accompany him inside, but sat at the door and waited for him.


    About an hour or so later, the youth walked out with a calm face.


    Zhang Man greeted him anxiously, ¡°How is it? What did the doctor say?¡±


    The youth raised his hand to pinch her face, his face unchanged: ¡°Well, she said it was okay.¡±


    She knew it was useless to ask him. After talking for an hour, the only sentence he recalled was ¡°he¡¯s okay¡­?¡±


    Zhang Man stuffed the next few checklist items into his hand: ¡°You sit at the door and wait for me obediently, I¡¯ll ask myself.¡±


    She knocked on the door of the doctor¡¯s office.


    ¡°Please come in.¡±


    Zhang Man pushed the door in, the female doctor was not surprised to see it was her, smiled and nodded at her.


    ¡°I heard the boy just describe the symptoms and guessed it was probably what you said last time, that friend of yours.¡±


    ¡°Doctor, then ¡­¡­ My friend, how is his state? He just found out yesterday that he was delusional, he had a serious breakdown yesterday, but today he seems to be much calmer.¡±


    The doctor took out a few large sheets full of diagnostic notes that she had just taken during her conversation with Li Wei.


    ¡°First of all, your friend¡¯s symptoms are, indeed, due to delusions present in schizophrenia, and to a very serious degree at that. Secondly, his thinking was clear and logical and agile, and there was no dementia or impaired social functioning.¡±


    Zhang Man listened and asked emphatically, ¡°Then by your judgment, did he appear depressed?¡±


    In the previous life, Li Wei broke out in extremely severe depression after this.


    The doctor thought for a moment and shook her head.


    ¡°After this hour-long conversation, he didn¡¯t show any depressive state.¡±


    She nodded approvingly: ¡°His mental state is very much more optimistic than I had imagined, almost unlike a mental patient. Perhaps it also has something to do with the care of you, his friends. He himself admits that although he had a breakdown at first, he has now accepted his mental condition and is willing to actively cooperate with treatment. Such a situation, we are happy to see of course but his mood might be unstable, irritable or capricious at times so we hope you can be more understanding and tolerant.¡±


    Zhang Man was relieved to hear that, and her tense mood relaxed a lot.


    Li Wei¡¯s depression in his previous life is anyone¡¯s guess. He was alone with it all at that time, and may even have been delirious for a long time, not knowing what is real and what is not in this world.


    While in this life, because she had been with him, she had told him in the simplest way that he was just ill.


    The symptoms he showed and the mental damage he suffered afterwards must have been very much less than in his previous life, and perhaps he now can actually bear it.


    Zhang Man is suddenly incredibly glad that she went back to him last night.


    After several other tests were done, the two walked out of the hospital.


    ¡ª


    After a stressful morning, Zhang Man felt a little hungry.


    ¡°Li Wei, are you hungry? Let¡¯s go eat lunch first.¡±


    She turned around and found the youth standing at the traffic light at the intersection, looking at her in a bit of a trance.


    His deep black eyes seemed to contain too many emotions.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Zhang Man touched his face.


    Such a look on the youth¡¯s face flashed, then he smiled warmly and came over and held her hand: ¡°It¡¯s okay, let¡¯s go.¡±


    Zhang Man remembered what the doctor had just said, that he might still be emotionally unstable during this time.


    She squeezed his hand, ¡°Mm-hmm.¡±


    It just so happens that there is a small crowded noodle shop in the street opposite the hospital. This noodle shop does not even have a name, and the store is very small, with a large shed built in front of it and has 7 or 8 small tables set up. With simple folding tables and plastic chairs, neither is considered clean.


    It was noon, and the store was packed with people inside and outside the store, almost full.


    A typical old fly restaurant.


    These kinds of small restaurants hidden at the end of the street with many customers usually taste good.


    Zhang Man was just about to sit down, but suddenly heard the youth say¡ª


    ¡°Man Man, let¡¯s go to a nicer place for lunch today, okay?¡±


    Zhang Man decided to listen to him on everything today, so she took his hand and said with a smile, ¡°Sure.¡±


    At the end of the nineteenth century, the Germans leased a large area to build a railroad and a port, so there are numerous German and Italian restaurants that opened in that time in the area of the European-style street in the N City.


    The youth led her into a historic German restaurant located in Fengqing Street.


    The Gothic style of architecture in this area is also very European¡ª straight walls, towering spires, and large stained glass windows are among its features.


    The restaurant is located in the most central and busiest part of the area.


    The receptionist at the door was very cultivated and did not show the slightest bit of slackness because of the young age of the two.


    The two then were directed to a window seat.


    The youth walked to her side first, and pulled the chair for her in a very gentlemanly way, which Zhang Man was slightly uncomfortable with.


    With a very old-fashioned and elegant decoration, the restaurant¡¯s large floor-to-ceiling windows allow the midday sun to shine in unreservedly, hitting the whole piece of colorful glazing on the wall that reflects rainbow-like light.


    And although it was lunchtime, there weren¡¯t many tables in the restaurant¨Capparently most people in N City are more accustomed to the casual richness of Chinese flavors than the expensive and polite Western restaurants.


    The two didn¡¯t get a menu, but simply asked for today¡¯s chef¡¯s recommendation.


    The main course is a traditional German sausage and Schwenkbraten (grilled pork chops), slightly heavier in flavor and not as delicate as French dishes, but actually more to Zhang Man¡¯s taste.


    The salad after the meal tasted refreshing and nicely neutralized the spicy and oily taste of the previous meat sausage and pork chops.


    Even though the price of this meal was nineteen years prior to what she is used to, it was still too expensive for Zhang Man when she saw it.


    After the two of them finished eating, Li Wei proposed to go for a walk on the beach again.


    She couldn¡¯t pinpoint it but Zhang Man¡¯s heart had a slightly strange feeling.


    The ¡°him¡± today, seems to mention a lot of proposals. Usually he is very indifferent to these aspects of life¡¯s details, so basically when the two are outside, he listens to Zhang Man.


    But during the meal just now, she always felt as if he was always looking at her, but every time she looked up, she would find him with his eyes downcast, concentrating on his meal instead.


    She shook her head and made herself ignore the strange feeling in her heart.


    Maybe the doctor was right and he was just a little emotionally unstable.


    At the exit of Fengqing Street, there is the sea.


    Unlike the sea next to Li Wei¡¯s house, there is pure golden sand along the coast here.


    The beach here is full of jagged reefs.


    The winter sun was not as scorching as the summer, and the two strolled through the reef complex, with large pebbles underfoot.


    Zhang Man walked a little unstable, but the youth held her hand at all times.


    After about seven or eight minutes of walking, there was a pile of reefs towering over the beach at the corner of the shoreline.


    The two climbed to one of them along the zigzagging stone crevices honed by the seawater in the middle.


    At the top is a flat stone platform.


    The youth jumped up with one hand on the stone surface, agilely flipped up and turned back to her and extended his hand.


    ¡°Man Man, I¡¯ll pull you up.¡±


    Zhang Man nodded. She pressed her foot on a projecting rock on the reef and was pulled by him soon after and sat beside him.


    As soon as she sat down, Zhang Man let out a gasp.


    ¡°It¡¯s so beautiful¡­¡±


    It is very high, with a very good view of a straight coastline at the junction of sea and sky.


    In the distance, some large and small fishing boats drive by, in addition to the annual fishing moratorium, even in winter, the fishing people who depend on the sea for a living never stop fishing at sea.


    Underneath the reef they were sitting on was the roaring sea, with waves rolling up and lapping at the rocky surface.


    There is really a feeling of¡­ being embraced by the sea.


    ¡°Li Wei, this place is so beautiful, have you been here before?¡±


    ¡ª


    This place is really too beautiful.


    Such a beach is suitable for saying goodbye.


    The youth wrapped his arms around her and looked in the direction of the sea: ¡°When I was alone and bored at home before, I would occasionally come here to see the sea. Actually, now that I think about it, it¡¯s not bad when you¡¯re alone.¡±


    Zhang Man did not hear the meaning of his words, so she wholeheartedly expressed: ¡°The world always exudes its beauty quietly in some unknown corners. Li Wei, when you get better, let¡¯s go on a trip together, shall we? We can go to Sanya for the winter, where the winter is warm as usual and far less difficult than N City. In spring, we can go to Jiangnan to experience the plum rain season and the sea of flowers. And in autumn¡­¡­¡±


    She rambled on, getting more and more excited as she went on.


    Even if he is ill, he will always be cured one day as long as he can actively cooperate with the treatment. She wants to be with him all the time, to go with him to all the beautiful, romantic corners of the world, so that he has someone to be with and feel happy every moment of the day.


    She spoke seriously, but did not notice that the youth beside her looked so intently and greedily at the side of her face.


    His eyes had a sorrow wider than the sea.


    He would also love to have a future with her, a future where the two of them will always be together.


    The youth didn¡¯t let her say any more as he lowered his head firmly over hers and kissed his angel one last time on the towering reefs of the roaring sea.

 CH 47.1

    Chapter 47 Part 1


    They walked back from the beach. Zhang Man wanted to stay at Li Wei¡¯s house for one night and go to the final exam at school with him tomorrow. But, Zhang Huifang kept calling to urge her to go home, so she had to say goodbye to him.


    She was still a little worried. She accompanied him to the store to buy a new cell phone and put in her contact information. ¡°Boyfriend, you need to send me a message in the evening.¡±


    The youth nodded obediently with a smile on his lips. ¡°En. Man Man, I¡¯ll take you home.¡±


    When they arrived downstairs at her home, Zhang Man just wanted to go upstairs. However, she heard the youth calling her from behind.


    ¡°Man Man.¡±


    His voice was rough and she could not hear a lot of emotions in it.


    Zhang Man looked back and said, ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Can¡¯t bear to leave me?¡±


    The youth was silent for a long time, and he didn¡¯t speak in the end.


    He smiled and waved at her. His eyes were full of emotion. In a winter like this, it seemed to have a different warmth.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was burning. She went over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Her eyes were bright. ¡°En, I¡¯m going upstairs. Don¡¯t think about those things at home. Just call me if you need anything, okay?¡±


    ¡°En, go upstairs.¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice had a thick sound to it. It was probably from the sea breeze that had been blowing all afternoon.


    His smile warmed Zhang Man¡¯s heart to the point that it calmed down a bit.


    Things are going to keep going in the right direction, aren¡¯t they?


    The slightly warm winter sun was quietly melting the thick snow. The solid ice on the roof¡¯s edge kept dripping.


    Drip, drip, drip.


    The water dropped down to the light gray cement, forming a darker circle.


    Everything was strangely calm.


    A lot of the time when people found themselves to be in a peaceful situation, they always felt like something was coming. Later, there might be a storm.


    That night, they kept in touch. Zhang Man sent a text message to Li Wei after every couple of minutes, and he replied frequently. Although he didn¡¯t talk much, Zhang Man could feel that he was much calmer than before.


    Li Wei even sent her a page of questions to help her study for the physics exam. Zhang Man looked at the countless questions and felt warm.


    At this time, he could still remember what he had said before about helping her focus on the exam.


    He seemed stronger than she had imagined.


    ¡­¡­


    On Monday, Zhang Man arrived at school early.


    The final exams were arranged in a very intense way. In the morning, she took a literature test for two and a half hours, and in the afternoon, she took a math test. Tomorrow¡¯s exams were divided between liberal arts and sciences. The liberal arts students had politics, history and geography; and the science students had physics, chemistry and biology.


    Each grade was divided into different exam rooms that were at the empty school building on the other side of the school.


    Zhang Man went to the classroom first. There were not that many people in the classroom.


    Li Wei was not there either.


    He usually came earlier than Zhang Man. As long as she walked into the classroom in the morning, she could see him sitting and quietly reading.


    But he was not here today.


    Zhang Man looked at his empty desk and suddenly had a bad feeling in her heart. She asked the boy sleeping on his arms that was one desk ahead, ¡°Jin Ming, have you seen Li Wei?¡±


    Jin Ming had just put his head down to sleep and was woken up with a pull. He rubbed his sleepy eyes with a bit of impatience. ¡°En, I just saw him come and go out with a folder. He should be going directly to the exam rooms, right?¡±


    Today was the final exams. They didn¡¯t have study periods arranged earlier, so many students would go to their exam room to review.


    Zhang Man let out a sigh of relief.


    She pressed her temples and shook her head helplessly.


    She was still too sensitive. He was in the mood to give her practice questions last night, so she should be feeling much better.


    As long as it was related to him, her nerves began to tense.


    At this time, Chen Feier called to her from the back door of their class, ¡°Man Man, what are you waiting around for? Let¡¯s go to the exam room quickly. There¡¯s still about 20 minutes left. It takes a long time to walk from here.¡±


    Zhang Man nodded. She packed her stationery into her bag and went to the exam room with her.


    In order to prevent cheating for huge exams, the school divided the students between liberal arts and sciences, then randomly assigned seats. She and Li Wei were not in the same exam room, but she happened to be in the same room as Chen Feier.


    Before Zhang Man entered the exam room, Zhang Man intentionally passed the exam room where Li Wei was and looked through the window.


    She saw him with one glance.


    The youth was not flipping through his book nervously like other people. He was quietly lying down in his seat, as if he was sleeping.


    Zhang Man didn¡¯t bother him. She was relieved and secretly scolded herself for being on edge. It was only then that she pulled Chen Feier through the long hallway and up the stairs to their exam room.


    Chen Feier mumbled discontentedly as she walked along. ¡°I wondered why you wanted to go through the second floor and it turns out it¡¯s to see your dear boyfriend. How was it? Was the back of his head pretty?¡±


    Zhang Man was amused.


    She thought of Chen Feier¡¯s sad expression when she told her that she was with Li Wei that day.


    It has not changed even now.


    Chen Feier saw that her strategy of holding a grudge did not work, so she changed it to throwing a tantrum. She took Zhang Man¡¯s arm and shook it back and forth. ¡°I don¡¯t care. If it goes on like this, I think you¡¯ll abandon me. Man Man, friends are just as important!¡±


    Zhang Man looked at her and felt much better. She rubbed her head with a smile and said, ¡°En, I promise you.¡±


    It was only at that moment that Chen Feier felt happy.


    ¡°En, when you two get married, I¡¯ll be your bridesmaid.¡±


    Zhang Man suddenly thought of her previous life.


    When Chen Feier got married, she was her only bridesmaid.


    She still remembered it. Chen Feier was standing on the stage, wearing a delicate veil and a gorgeous wedding dress with a train. She threw the bouquet of flowers in her direction and cried, ¡°No one is allowed to fight with her. Zhang Man, you must be happy!¡±


    Zhang Man felt warm in her heart. Maybe she would get married earlier than Chen Feier in this life.

 CH 47.2

    Chapter 47 Part 2


    The last exam of the two day exams was physics.


    Due to an extra page of additional questions, the exam time was extended from two hours to three hours. Of course, students who did not complete the additional questions could hand in their exam earlier.


    Zhang Man took a look through the questions and was surprised¡ªit was really close to what Li Wei had sent her a few days ago.


    She finished it easily and handed in her exam half an hour earlier. She briskly walked out of the classroom.


    They did not have a scheduled lunch break or evening self-study during the two days of exams. After eating lunch on their own or after the exam finished in the afternoon, it became their personal free time. It looked like Li Wei went straight home after all the exams were done. He went straight to the exam room after the previous exam was finished, and never went back to the classroom.


    Therefore, during the two days of exams, she hardly spent any time with Li Wei. Even though she went to his exam room to see him and say a few words to him before each exam, it was done in a hurry.


    Zhang Man was thinking about this and sped up to the freshman building.


    After the exams, it was winter vacation. Li Wei would have to go back to the classroom to pack up his things. She was planning on going over to his house to have dinner with him in the evening.


    At this time, there were many students in the hallway. They were probably the students who did not do the extra questions and handed in their papers earlier.


    Several boys walked past Zhang Man, hunched together as they discussed the exam they had just finished.


    ¡°This time the questions were from the form teacher of Class 1. Was it super hard for you? Then there were the additional questions. I only knew two of the major questions from the front. What about you?¡±


    ¡°Wasn¡¯t it hard? Liu Zhijun¡¯s face was completely frozen. No wonder it was so difficult¡­ it¡¯s over for me.¡±


    ¡°If you guys are unlucky, then what about me? I really had the worst luck today. Li Wei didn¡¯t sit in front of me in the exam room. I heard that he got full marks in physics every time. I was thinking of sneaking a few glances, but he missed the physics exam.¡±


    ¡ª¡±Classmate, did you just say that Li Wei missed the exam?¡±


    As soon as the boy finished speaking, he heard an anxious voice coming from behind him. He looked back impatiently. At that moment, he saw that it was their school flower, and he immediately became nicer.


    ¡°Enl, he missed the exam.¡±


    ¡°How could that happen? I saw him sitting in the exam room before I took the physics exam.¡±


    ¡°Uh¡­ I don¡¯t know. He sat for a few minutes, and before the exam, he said something to the proctor and left. Oh, I think he gave the proctor an excuse note.¡±


    An excuse note? He didn¡¯t tell her.


    She ran straight back to the classroom. She pulled out the cell phone in her school bag and turned it on. She called Li Wei at once.


    ¡°The number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable, please try again later.¡±


    It was the same cold, mechanical female voice as last time.


    Zhang Man suddenly felt a spreading panic. This feeling was even more serious than last time.


    Her eyelid began to twitch wildly. The suspicion that she restrained inside of herself for the past two days erupted.


    Where did he go?


    At this moment, the cell phone sent out a notification with a ¡°didi¡± sound.


    It was the cell phone notification for a new email.


    She opened her inbox and found an email without a title.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart started beating faster when she saw the sender¡¯s email address.


    It was Li Wei.


    Her hand shook as she opened the email.


    This was the most she had seen him type since they had met. It was a full page long.


    ¡°Man Man, I have applied for a leave of absence from school and I am going to a city elsewhere for medical treatment. I might not come back. Let¡¯s¡­ break up.¡±


    ¡°If you want to refuse, then please listen to my three reasons first. First, I have been thinking for a long time during the past few days. Currently, the most important thing for me is to get treatment for my schizophrenia. I have no energy to take care of other things, including physics and you.¡±


    ¡°Second, Man Man¡­ I know that you may not be able to accept what I¡¯m saying to you now, but¡­ do you remember the beach I took you to the day before yesterday? I used to go to that beach when I was alone. Truthfully, it is sometimes good to be alone. I can think calmly in my own world.¡±


    ¡°I have never really said this, but I admit that I loved you like crazy for a while. However, when you are there, it will more or less hinder my calmness. When a person is completely in love, it is easy to be blinded by it and deviate from his original path. I think I have done a lot of things I would not have done before, and these kinds of changes are not appropriate for me.¡±


    ¡°Forgive me, forgive me for wanting to go back to before we started.¡±


    ¡°Third, people like me are better off  living alone. Man Man, do you know what happened to my father? When I was still in the hospital, my father committed suicide at home¡­ For him, he could not accept the harm he caused me because of his mental illness, so he chose to commit suicide. Man Man, I don¡¯t want to repeat his path. In other words, I may not like you as much as I had imagined.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to take such a big risk for you.¡±


    ¡°Man Man, you might think I¡¯m very special in your heart, but I¡¯m not. It¡¯s because first love is very special for everyone. You¡¯re still young and haven¡¯t experienced that much of life. You don¡¯t know if how much you currently like me is enough to stand by for the rest of our lives. In the future¡­ You will meet someone who is a hundred times better than me.¡±


    From the beginning to the end, he did not say anything about being afraid of dragging her down or hurting her. Every reason was pointed at himself. Everything was eerily polite. It was merciless, and methodically selfish. Any 16-year-old girl would feel so bad that she would not be able to eat and sleep. She thought her feelings had been betrayed, which she gradually forgot as she felt pain and anger.


    ¡ªJust like in her previous life.


    After reading this section, Zhang Man trembled. She was unable to restrain her suffering and panic.


    Everything is total nonsense¡­ What reason? *sigh* Each one doesn¡¯t have any logic. Where is there a part that he could say out loud?


    His tone seemed so calm, so reasonable, and appeared to have been carefully thought out. But some sentences were not very clear, and he even forgot to add punctuation marks that he normally followed.


    ¡ªHe was playing her like a 16-year-old boy.


    No wonder¡ªno wonder he suddenly took her to such an expensive restaurant yesterday, and also took her to the beach. It turned out that he was saying goodbye to her.


    He had already made plans to leave her.


    She knew him so well.


    The calmer he was, the more distance he wanted to create when he drew the line with her for when his heart collapsed.


    This youth, who had suffered a lot of hardships and misfortunes, did not want to impose any harm and despair on her. He even left¡ªleft her to

 CH 48.1

    Chapter 48 Part 1


    That night, the youth had shut himself in the bathroom after Zhang Man had gone to sleep.


    He sat on the bathroom floor all night.


    There was no heating in the bathroom, and he had opened the window. The chilly wind and the cold floor on that winter night kept him awake.


    ¡ª¡ªIt turned out that he really was a devil.


    The silent darkness encroached him.


    Was it true that it was better for people like him to not live in this world?


    He suddenly understood how his father felt.


    Since it was so painful to live, and he couldn¡¯t love the person he loved when he even wanted to hurt her, wouldn¡¯t it be better not to live?


    The next day before dawn, he quietly walked into the room and laid down beside her. The trap began at this moment.


    He ridiculed himself a bit.


    A hunter frequently sets up a trap to slowly lure the prey in, and capture it at the last second. Meanwhile, he was trying his hardest to let his prey go.


    If he showed signs of a meltdown or depression, maybe Man Man would always be with him.


    That way, how could he have the opportunity and courage to leave her?


    ¡­


    The snow had already stopped on the way to the hospital. The weather was clear for a long time.


    But, he could not feel the warmth at all. The skies seemed to have no color and were gray.


    In fact, he was mourning his impending death, but he still held on and pretended to be himself.


    During the psychological exam and each time he had finished a sentence, he carefully observed the subtle changes of the doctor¡¯s expression to adjust the tone and topic of his next sentence.


    This was very difficult.


    The female doctor had studied psychiatry for many years and had a lot of clinical experience. She did not look happy or angry, and she had very skilled eyes. He almost revealed his weakness several times.


    First, he openly admitted his meltdown and panic. Then, he said that he was much calmer than before after the doctor¡¯s advice.


    It seemed like he had spent a lot of time thinking and had finally convinced himself to cooperate positively with the treatment and live an active life¡ªlike he was a patient who had regained his confidence in life after suffering a huge blow.


    Sure enough, Man Man¡¯s eyes widened after he came out of the doctor¡¯s office.


    He took her to the most expensive restaurant in N city, but he didn¡¯t seem to be able to taste anything.


    Man Man said that the pork chop tasted a little spicy.


    But when he ate it, it tasted like wax.


    He took her up the beachrocks.


    For a moment, when he looked at the enormous ocean, he felt an impulse to jump.


    He had nothing, he could not control himself. Moreover, he was about to lose her.


    Will it be less painful to jump?


    At the next second, he thought, no, I can¡¯t scare her.


    After sending her home, he returned to his study and began to edit the email.


    He could not leave without saying something.


    Silently disappearing would make her worry about him for the rest of her life.


    It took the youth the entire night to edit the email.


    He was thinking about how to persuade her to leave him. His Man Man was so kind, honest, and clever. What if she did not leave him no matter how much he cursed or coaxed her?


    What kind of words could hurt a person the most?


    It was definitely not through hysterical mocking, nor was it through piling on malicious words without any justification. The most hurtful way was always through cold indifference with selfishness and neglect.


    When did a person feel heartbreak?


    When the other person calmly analyzed every possibility, every reason, but none of them were because of you.


    You were in his heart, but you could never be close to him.


    The cursor flickered constantly. Then, the youth was typing on the keyboard. Every time he typed, it was like a slash was made to his heart.


    ¡°Man Man, I may leave you for a while¡­¡±


    Delete.


    ¡°Man Man, let¡¯s take a break for a while¡­¡±


    Continues to delete.


    ¡°Man Man, let¡¯s¡­ break up.¡±


    ¡ªAt that moment, all the oxygen on the planet that allowed him to breathe was suddenly pulled out of him. Why else could he not breathe and was suffocating?.


    The youth raised his hand and pressed it at his heart. Fortunately, it was still beating.


    His lips curved into a smile.


    He was just going to leave her. He was not breaking up with her. What else could he do?


    Why was it that at this moment he still had a chance to live?


    Then, he calmed down and decided to think of three proper reasons.


    Three reasons why he left her after ¡°carefullying thinking through it¡±.


    En, he might not be in the right mindset to take care of his condition and her at the same time.


    ¡ªBecause when he saw her, he didn¡¯t want to think about anything. He would become more and more selfish and terrible. He wouldn¡¯t care about if he was hurting her or not, he would want to have her close and keep her next to him greedily.


    He didn¡¯t want to care that much, and didn¡¯t want to think about the future. He only knew that he could be saved by being together with her, even if he might drag her into the abyss with him.


    There was more.


    By being with her, he deviated from his life¡¯s original path and did many things that he would not have ever done.


    The youth¡¯s heart at this moment was in extreme pain.

 CH 48.2

    ¡ª¡ªYes, because of this girl, he was lucky enough to get out of his small, dark world and take a look outside.


    Because she was next to him, he knew that he could put on a cast without being afraid of trouble if he was injured; because of her, he tasted the sourness of jealousy; because of her, he lied a lot, just to hug her and kiss her. He knew what was in his heart and never wanted it to be taken away by others.


    He became more and more greedy and incapable of being satisfied.


    There¡¯s more.


    The boy hit the table with his head painfully.


    It¡¯s hard.


    She was his angel and his only belief. What she gave him was the only light in his gloomy life.


    There was no reason to leave her.


    Once again he thought of the girl that was inside the deepest part of his heart. He thought hard about her eyes, eyebrows, white skin and soft lips.


    She was so clever. When she smiled at him, there was always an affectionate light in her eyes.


    Every time, every single time he saw her smile, there would be a dull pain in his heart that could not be suppressed. He wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her as soon as possible.


    She was so good. She once pulled him to run like crazy in the busy streets and the heavy snow. She took him to see the world. Time after time, she was always by his side.


    To him, she was like an irreplaceable medicine.


    He couldn¡¯t live without her.


    He really couldn¡¯t leave her. What could he do without her?


    The youth could hardly write.


    There was a voice in his heart shouting, ¡°What if you forget about it? Forget it and just stay with her. One day is another day with her.¡±


    At this moment he suddenly remembered the hand he had unconsciously put on her neck the night before.


    Endless dread and despair attacked him again.


    The youth  firmly hit the table with his head again, detesting his thoughts from a second ago.


    ¡ª¡ªLi Wei, you are really trash.


    What are you going to do when you leave her? Can you bear it? For this girl, you have to protect her with your own hands all the time and prevent her from being hurt.


    He really did not have the courage to take this risk.


    The boy raised his head, looked at the screen and continued to tap.


    ¡°Man Man, I don¡¯t want to repeat his mistakes. Even if I like you a lot, I don¡¯t want to take such a big risk for you.¡±


    Pause. The cursor went backwards. The words were deleted one by one.


    ¡°Man Man, I don¡¯t want to repeat his mistake. In other words, I may not like you as much as I had imagined.¡±


    However, the pain in his heart told him¡ªI might like you a thousand times more than I could have imagined.


    Okay, it¡¯s over.


    He was exhausted like a doctor after a difficult operation.


    Would his Man Man cry when she reads it?


    He¡¯s sure she would cry.


    After crying, she might be angry or resentful.


    For a young lady at this age, even a kind person like her, would definitely have a hard time understanding such an email, right?


    She would feel like she had really misjudged him. How could she like such a selfish and completely cold hypocrite?


    Maybe she would angrily try to find him and want an explanation.


    But he certainly would not let her find him.


    Then, after countless nights of cursing and suffering, she would eventually forget him.


    Maybe after a long time she would meet another person¡ªa person better than him. They would hold hands, hug, kiss¡­ They would even get married. They would go to see what she said, Sanya in winter and Jiangnan in spring.


    They might have a beautiful and cute daughter like her.


    The bottom of the youth¡¯s eyes was suddenly stained with frightening red blood.


    He could not stop himself from going mad.


    He pushed a water cup and a stack of thick books on the table to the floor. There was a ¡°bang¡± sound. The broken glass scattered, and a piece even cut the back of his hand.


    The loud noise calmed the youth down.


    ¡ª¡ªLook, you can¡¯t control yourself at all. You are a devil. Any person she meets in the future will definitely be better than you.


    At least he will be human and not a devil.


    He raised his hand painfully and hammered the desk hard. After that, he trembled and forced himself to continue to type on the keyboard.


    He typed down the next part that frightened him.


    ¡°In the future¡­ You will meet someone who is a hundred times better than me.¡±


    His heart ¡°ba-dum¡± beyond its normal frequency.


    That dull pain was more serious than all the previous pain combined.


    When he finished writing, he quickly set the delivery time and he did not dare to read it again.


    The youth looked at the mess in the huge study and closed his eyes as he lost all hope.


    At the end of everything, he had lost her completely.

 CH 49.1

    The next afternoon was the last physics exam.


    Since it was a science class, most of the students chose to do the extra physics questions. Zhang Man, who handed in her paper half an hour earlier, was a part of the group who returned to the classroom earlier.


    After her, one student after another handed in their papers and walked into the classroom.


    Everyone¡¯s face was filled with joy and excitement, and some students even openly tore up the exams they had just gotten from the exam room and threw them into the garbage can.


    Everyone was talking about the upcoming winter vacation.


    ¡°Finally free! Winter vacation has started. It¡¯s so great! I¡¯ll go home and play Red Alert.¡±


    ¡°Do you want to go to KTV at night? I won¡¯t go home until we sing past midnight today!¡±


    ¡°Midnight? Liu Chang, aren¡¯t you afraid your father will beat you?¡±


    ¡°How can he? Laozi is on vacation. What can he do about me?¡±


    These high school students had been constrained for far too long. For them, going on vacation was something worth celebrating.


    All the students everywhere were cheering, but for Zhang Man, she was completely panicked and at a loss.


    She read the entire email very carefully. Suddenly, she had a feeling that this time, she might really lose him, just like in her previous life.


    The veins on her temples began to really throb. Zhang Man was laying down on her desk, and couldn¡¯t control her shaking.


    Her thoughts were in chaos.


    In a dim playground, he once asked her if she could like him.


    But now, he said calmly in the email, Man Man, let¡¯s break up.


    He said he was going to another city alone, and he didn¡¯t know when he would come back.


    That¡¯s what he said. He said he was leaving her.


    Could she still find him?


    She suddenly remembered how he disappeared for a whole semester after his depression exacerbated in their previous life.


    It was the same as before, he disappeared again after learning of his mental illness.


    He disguised himself perfectly and pretended to overcome the shock.


    He deceived not only her but also the doctor.


    Zhang Man held her cell phone tightly. Her heart seemed to be missing a beat at certain points. Her irregular heartbeats made her almost out of breath.


    She suddenly remembered many details. That day, when he looked at the sea, his eyes were momentarily confused and empty. Then, he was in the hospital and deliberately pretending to be calm and natural. There was also when he took her back. They were downstairs and he reluctantly said her name.


    By now, she is almost certain that Li Wei¡¯s depression had been completely triggered, just like in his previous life. ??????? ??? ?????????? ??? ???? ?? ??x??????.???


    And it didn¡¯t matter if he didn¡¯t think the world was phony like in his previous life. Everything was blowing up on him too much.


    He began not to understand the meaning of his life, and he began to be paranoid and believe that as long as he was around her, he would hurt her.


    That¡¯s why the youth chose to leave her.


    But it¡¯s not like that, the doctor had said. He did not have any cognitive changes at all. Besides, even though his delusions were serious, there were no signs that he would hurt someone.


    He¡¯s just in extreme denial after the breakdown.


    Although he disappeared for a semester in his previous life, he eventually controlled his severe depression and returned to continue his studies. Many things had changed in this life, and his trigger came earlier. Who knew if the outcome would change.


    It¡¯s too dangerous to leave him alone.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was aching terribly.


    Her mind suddenly flashed to the picture on Weibo taken by reporters after his suicide .


    There was so much blood. That harsh red color dyed the whole bathtub.


    He was lying in the blood and had become a cold corpse.


    This picture had been a nightmare that tormented her every night for a long time. She thought that in this life, she would be with him. He had his worries, but it was definitely impossible for him to kill himself.


    But she was suddenly not sure.


    If¡­ If I lose him again¡­


    Anxiety and despair spread in her heart. Zhang Man got up from her seat and quickly packed up her things. After that, she ran out of the classroom.


    The physics test started at two o¡¯clock. It was now four forty-five. It had only been more than two hours since he left school. She handed in her exam half an hour earlier so could he still be packing up at home before he left?


    Zhang Man ran to the school gate. She stopped at the intersection and held her hand up for a taxi.


    It was rush hour. At the intersection¡¯s green light, the cars sped by, including a lot of free taxis. They ignored her signal.


    There were no free taxis in N City at this time.


    As time went by, Zhang Man looked at the clock anxiously. It¡¯s five¡­


    It¡¯s five oh five.


    Sometimes, a breakdown only needs a fuse.


    Zhang Man squatted down and cried uncontrollably. The confusion and heartache that were about to suffocate her reached the peak at this moment.


    It was obvious that everything was good and developing in a good direction; and it was obvious she thought that as long as she was beside him, she could accompany him through any difficulties.


    Where would he go alone? He had lost everything. He lost all the people he loved.


    What could he do without her?


    Would she never find him just because of a few minutes¡­

 CH 49.2

    ¡°Man Man, what¡¯s wrong?¡±


    At this moment, a car slowly stopped beside her. The back door of the car opened, and Chen Feier came out anxiously. From the car, she saw Zhang Man squatting on the sidewalk and was crying.


    Chen Feier¡¯s heart was in shock.


    She had known Zhang Man for so many years, and she had never seen her like this: crouching on the ground, shoulders shaking helplessly, crying. She was falling apart and giving up hope.


    In her eyes, Zhang Man had always been a very calm person. She didn¡¯t have too much attachment to anything, and did not smile easily, let alone cry.


    How could she be like this today? Like a person about to drown and was asking the world for help.


    ¡°Did he bully you?¡±


    Aside from Li Wei, she really couldn¡¯t think of anyone who can make Man Man like this.


    Chen Feier¡¯s father also got out of the car and came over. He asked Zhang Man with deep concern, ¡°Man Man, what¡¯s the matter?¡±


    When Zhang Man heard their voices, she looked up. She grabbed Chen Feier¡¯s sleeve and looked directly at her. ¡°Feier, Uncle Chen, can you give me a ride somewhere?¡±


    The grief and impatience in her eyes surprised them.


    What the hell happened?


    ¡°Okay, Man Man, don¡¯t cry. Tell uncle. Where do you want to go?¡±


    Zhang Man immediately gave him Li Wei¡¯s address.


    When she got in the car and felt it going, her emotions calmed down a lot. She leaned wearily against Chen Feier¡¯s shoulder and controlled herself to stop crying. However, her fingers pinching Chen Feier¡¯s sleeve trembled slightly, and she could not calm down.


    Soon, the car arrived at the door of Li Wei¡¯s home. Zhang Man quickly thanked them and rushed upstairs.


    She rang the doorbell like crazy.


    ¡°Li Wei, are you at home? Open the door, will you?¡±


    Her voice was hoarse and she was already sobbing.


    She rang the doorbell and knocked, but no one answered.


    At this time, the cold and hard door seemed to be a silent refusal. It was clearly telling her that there would never be a youth who had just woken up and opened the door for her with drowsy eyes, and his eyes lit up with infinite tenderness the moment he saw her and welcomed her in.


    She had been completely shut out by him.


    Seven or eight minutes later, Zhang Man crouched down powerlessly at the door and knocked on the door desperately. There was too much noise, and the door of the next apartment opened.


    It was an aunt in her forties or fifties who opened the door. She had chopsticks in her hand and should be eating dinner.


    She had lost her appetite from the continuous knocking on the door. She wanted to yell, but when she saw the broken hearted little girl at the door, her heart softened a bit.


    ¡°Hey, little girl, it¡¯s getting late, why are you crying? It¡¯s sad and terrifying.¡±


    Zhang Man had a burst of hope in her heart, ¡°Aunt, have you seen the boy from this home today?¡±


    Aunt remembered something. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re talking about that young man? I did see him a moment ago when I went to take out the garbage. I saw him walking out with a suitcase.¡±


    He¡¯s already gone¡­


    Zhang Man¡¯s eyebrows jumped and she asked eagerly, ¡°Approximately when was that?¡±


    ¡°I guess twenty minutes ago. He was carrying a very big suitcase. I asked him if he was moving and he said yes.¡±


    As the aunt spoke, she saw Zhang Man¡¯s eyes clear up.


    Maybe she had a fight with her boyfriend, and then the little boy left in a hurry.


    She shook her head and sighed.


    ""


    Young people these days are really crazy.


    Zhang Man listened to her and went down the stairs in a daze.


    She had just missed him.


    He already left. What should I do? Where should I go to find him? When I find him, will he already¡­.


    Her forehead broke out into a fine cold sweat. Her legs trembled and she could not stand steadily. She could only force her to calm down.


    Okay, I¡¯ll go to the airport first.


    N City did not have a high-speed rail. If she wanted to go somewhere far, she had to go to the airport.


    What if he got stuck at the airport? He only left 20 minutes ago. Maybe he went to the airport, but it did not take off yet. If she went now, she might be able to catch him.


    Zhang Man held on and ran to the gate of the community to take a taxi. Fortunately, she got into the taxi after a short wait.


    The airport was in the suburbs of N City, which was very far from the downtown area. It took about an hour to get there by taxi.


    Zhang Man sat in the taxi and looked out the window as the night gradually grew darker. The street lights in the city lit up one after another. Her chaotic heartbeat could not calm down after a long time.


    Dusk emerged as the sun was setting. Nature was following its own rules and moving through it day by day.


    The same was true of this city. On such a cold winter night, everything lit up at the same time as yesterday. It did not change because of a person¡¯s departure.


    N City¡¯s airport was not big. It only had one terminal. At this moment, it stood in the dark night with bright lights. Many travelers were coming and going as they pulled their large suitcases. There was a long line at the check-in gate. People were waiting for check-in and for their luggage to be checked in.


    As soon as Zhang Man entered the doors, she saw the huge LED screen at the gate. On the black screen, the glaring red letters were looping through the next flights.


    She glanced at it and found that there were so many flights: Beijing, Shanghai, Chengdu, Hangzhou¡­ Everywhere.


    The world was so big and there were so many cities. She had not even been to a lot of these places in her previous life after living for so many years. It was really too easy for a person to hide.


    Where would the person she loves go?


    Zhang Man pressed on her temples that were throbbing like boom-boom. She ran around the airport impatiently until she searched through all the gates and several check-in areas.


    He wasn¡¯t here.


    Looking for someone is always painful because you are waiting for them to appear.


    Every time you look in one direction, you will have anticipation in your heart. Maybe the person on your mind will appear next.


    But oftentimes in the next second, you will be disappointed because you don¡¯t see him. Then, you will have a new round of anticipation. You will go around in circles through this wheel of anticipation. And you can¡¯t escape it.

 CH 50.1

    That day, Zhang Man stayed at the airport until it was dark.


    She sat on the cold seat in the departure area, not knowing what she was waiting for.


    She was surrounded by travelers who were in a hurry. There were parents who were taking their children on vacation, overseas students who were returning home for the Lunar New Year celebrations, and office workers who were traveling from south to the northern part of the country.


    None of them was him.


    As she looked for him, she began to remember a lot of memories.


    Time flew by. Fate came without warning.


    Just a few days ago, she couldn¡¯t wait to get off the bus and run into his arms. He tricked her into picking up the papers, and eagerly kissed her when she squatted next to the narrow desk.


    After seeing the sea that day, he sent her back and said her name.


    She asked him if he couldn¡¯t leave her.


    He didn¡¯t answer.


    At that time, he was reluctant to leave her, right? Why didn¡¯t she realize it then?


    Zhang Man tussled her hair regretfully, and her heart felt numb¡­


    Winter vacation had begun, and she couldn¡¯t fall asleep.


    One nightmare after another attacked her like in her previous life¡ªwhen she closed her eyess, she saw his blood everywhere and his pale face.


    One day, two days¡­ She called Li Wei¡¯s cellphone nonstop every day, hoping that he would turn it on. She looked forward to it wholeheartedly. Maybe he would think of her in the middle of the night while he was in a strange place, and then he would turn on his cell phone to see if there was any information about her.


    But he didn¡¯t. He never flew on a plane.


    He didn¡¯t want her to find him.


    Zhang Man did not dare to think what would happen to him when he was alone. Thus, 48 hours later, she chose to make a report to the police and stressed Li Wei¡¯s very serious depression.


    Unfortunately, after hearing her story, the police immediately transferred the information to the hospital. The check up results showed that Li Wei was not depressed. Aside from that, there were no signs of suicidal tendencies in his email to Zhang Man, and he had expressed that he would go to other places for treatment.


    So no matter what Zhang Man said, they didn¡¯t believe her. They thought it was just a fight between lovers. The little girl just wanted to find a boyfriend.


    It was the end of the year. Besides, a human trafficking group had appeared in N City recently, so the police were very busy. It¡¯s impossible to send manpower and use resources to find him.


    Zhang Man tried her next idea. She asked them to check for records of Li Wei¡¯s airplane ticket or train ticket.


    The purchase of train tickets and airplane tickets required using a registered name, which could be found through the police station after looking over the records.


    Several policemen gave into her pleas and sent the records to her.


    Strangely enough, there were none.


    The data showed that within the last six months, Li Wei did not have any flight or train travel records.


    Did he go there by coach bus?


    Zhang Man went home in a panic.


    She went outside every day for the next few days and locked herself in her room when she got home. Eventually, Zhang Huifang noticed this strange behavior.


    ¡°Zhang Man, what¡¯s the matter? Did you quarrel with your little boyfriend?¡±


    Zhang Huifang sat beside her bed and patted her head.


    Zhang Man¡¯s complexion these past few days did not look good. She would only take a couple of mouthfuls of whatever she was eating. Her small face quickly becomes thin and pale.


    Zhang Huifang scolded Li Wei a thousand times in her heart. ¡°Did that brat make you cry? Tell your mom and I¡¯ll teach him a lesson.¡±


    No matter how strong and stubborn a person was, they would collapse under the endless anxiety of searching and waiting.


    Zhang Man suddenly lost her grip.


    She hugged Zhang Huifang and began to bawl.


    No one could express the pain and worry in her heart, so how should she say it?


    No one would believe her, not even the police.


    No one has experienced a previous life like her, and no one knew that Li Wei ultimately chose to commit suicide.


    No one would believe that he was now in an extremely dangerous situation.


    Zhang Huifang saw that she suddenly cried, and she was perplexed. ¡°Don¡¯t cry, Man Man. Mom is here. If you have a problem, mom will take care of it.¡±


    As she watched her cry like this, she thought, I think it¡¯s the first time this has happened since she went to primary school? She still remembered that when Zhang Man was a child, there was one time where she caused trouble at school and they called her mom. Zhang Huifang hurried over and was angered by what the teacher said. But this child acted fine. She stood to the side and looked down at the ground, as if it had nothing to do with herself.


    She had never seen her have any problems or take things seriously.


    She felt a ¡°thump¡± in her heart and suddenly thought that something was not good.


    She will not be like how she used to be, right?


    Zhang Huifang clenched her teeth and patted Zhang Man on the back. She tried to make her voice as gentle as possible, ¡°Man Man, be good. Don¡¯t cry. Tell me if you have any problems. I will help you find a solution.¡±


    She concentrated as she spoke, her teeth itching with regret.


    You shouldn¡¯t have promised Zhang Man that she could spend the night at that brat¡¯s house that day!


    They might have gone to Z City that day to¡­


    She continuously blamed herself. How could she have believed those lies? Two young people with lots of energy stayed in the same room. Everyone knew what was going to happen.


    Although she was very angry and it had already happened, she still had to try her best to believe that it was not the issue.


    So Zhang Huifang tried her best to adjust her attitude. She pretended to comfort her with gentleness. ¡°Man Man, listen to your mother. Medicine is much more developed now than it was for me. If you find out early and abort it, then it will not have any impact on your body, nor will it affect your future.¡±


    Zhang Man burst into tears and suddenly felt that something was wrong.


    She raised her head and looked at Zhang Huifang with her mouth open, a little speechless.


    Her mother was really like no one else¡­


    tarararawr¡¯s rararamblings: I¡¯ve updated the novel cover to the physical published version. It looks pretty nice, right?

 CH 50.2

    tarararawr8-10 minutes 16.08.2022


    Translator: tarararawr


    Chapter 50 Part 2


    ¡°Mom, where did your mind go¡­ I didn¡¯t sleep with him, I¡¯m not pregnant, and I don¡¯t need to have an abortion.¡±


    Zhang Huifang was surprised when she heard this. Her mood became better instantly and her voice brightened. ¡°Then what are you afraid of? Nothing else matters. If he didn¡¯t treat you well, then break up. What are you crying for? Silly girl. You¡¯re still young. You don¡¯t have your mother¡¯s spirit at all.¡±


    ¡°Mom¡­ I can¡¯t find him.¡±


    ¡°He left me. I can¡¯t find him.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s voice was hoarse and she was choked up with emotions. She rested on her mom¡¯s shoulder and sobbed. She felt a deep sense of powerlessness surging in her heart.


    She was too tired.


    She really wanted to find him. But she was too tired.


    Zhang Huifang was shocked when she heard this.


    After a long silence, she put her arms around Zhang Man and stiffly said, ¡°If you can¡¯t find him, then you can¡¯t. Think of him as if he has died.¡±


    Think of him¡­ as if he has died?


    Will he die?


    Zhang Man cried even more when she heard this.


    ¡°Mom, you don¡¯t understand. I must find him.¡±


    What should she do if he really died and she did not find him?


    What should she do then?


    Zhang Huifang patted her on the shoulder. Without any frustration, she said in her usual voice, ¡°Zhang Man, if he wants to hide from you, then you may spend all your life unable to find him.¡±


    She sighed.


    There were many things that she did not want to remember in this life. But life was not like this. Some things could not be forgotten. Not all painful moments could be confronted and calmly reach a compromise.


    Some things, like a mark or a scar, lasted forever. If they were not deeply hidden, they would bleed out.


    After a long silence, Zhang Huifang said softly, ¡°It was like that with your dad.¡±


    She said it with a sudden sigh that seemed like she had released a heavy burden she had carried all her life.


    Zhang Man heard what she said and controlled her sobbing.


    She never thought Zhang Huifang would mention her biological father to her in this life.


    She thought she would never say anything about him.


    Zhang Huifang was silent for a long time. She was remembering those old memories that she had hidden for more than ten years.


    ¡°When I was around 18 years old, I met your dad. He was a popular guy in our school. He was handsome, confident, had good grades and was rich. But when we were sophomores in senior high school, he didn¡¯t go to school for a long period of time. Later, the word spread, and we knew that he was ill.¡±


    ¡°Me, your mom, had always liked him back then. I was worried when I knew he was ill. So I sneaked into his house and threw pebbles at his window.¡±


    ¡°It was only when I saw him that I realized that he had leukemia and was in the advanced stages. Our lives back then were not like now, there were no ways to get better from it. You just stayed at home, waiting for death.¡±


    She said this and smiled.


    ¡°I was deeply in love at the time. How could I be afraid? I wasn¡¯t, and I thought, I must accompany him to the end. I want to give him the best memory in the world before he dies.¡±


    After she said this, Zhang Huifang paused for a long time.


    It was very difficult to be the one to speak up about the most difficult thing in your life.


    ¡°He also had feelings for me, so I gave myself to him.¡±


    ¡°But suddenly one day, he disappeared. His entire family disappeared, too. I couldn¡¯t find him. For a while, I even thought he was dead and cried like a baby every day.¡±


    ¡°Later, I heard people say that the hospital had made a mistake. It was someone else who was sick, not him. And he moved to the US with his parents.¡±


    ¡°It was a long time before I realized that I had you. When I was young, I was anemic and thin. My period was abnormal and it would take a long time before I had my period. It was obvious that I was pregnant, and it was difficult to have an abortion. I could only give birth to you, and I never read any books about it.¡±


    ¡°Zhang Man, I, as your mom, have been a joke all my life.¡±


    She finished remembering these difficult memories and let out a heavy sigh. ¡°So, if someone wants to disappear, you need to let them disappear. Don¡¯t waste your thoughts and time looking for him. You can¡¯t find someone who wants to hide.¡±


    Zhang Man was extremely shocked.


    The truth was beyond belief. It was so outrageous and heartbreaking.


    No wonder she never mentioned it.


    Zhang Man was a little distressed. She buried her head in her mom¡¯s shoulder, but couldn¡¯t say anything to comfort her.


    Perhaps, after all these years, what she needed was not comfort.


    Since she had just cried, her voice was a little muffled. ¡°Mom¡­ What happened later? Didn¡¯t you think about asking him for an explanation?¡±


    Zhang Huifang shook her head.


    ¡°It was too far, Man Man. For someone like me who had never left N City, the US was too far for me. It was impossible for me to find him. I got in touch with some classmates to pass on the news to him, but he didn¡¯t respond. Later, I heard that he got married there and had his own children.¡±


    Zhang Huifang said with a sigh, ¡°It¡¯s impossible now. I heard a classmate say that he died in a car accident in the United States a few years ago.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart ached when she heard this.


    She felt cold and disappointed for Zhang Huifang. She never thought her biological dad would be such a selfish, cowardly and irresponsible person.


    ¡°Do you hate him?¡±


    ¡°Of course I did. But I don¡¯t hate him now. If it wasn¡¯t for him, I wouldn¡¯t have you. Man Man, I didn¡¯t regret giving birth to you. So, don¡¯t cry for a terrible man now. Cheer up.¡±


    Zhang Man shook her head.


    The youth she loved was completely different from her weak dad.


    He was a very good person.


    When he was with her, he would take care of her carefully. He could spoil her infinitely under limited conditions.


    He liked her, depended on her, and respected her.


    The first day they spent the night together, he would rather sleep on the floor than touch her. Even later, he would never cross the line when he slept next to her.


    When he hugged and kissed her, she could feel his restraint and how he silently endured it every time.


    This youth, he really used his whole heart to treat her well. He looked at her with admiration. He treasured and cherished her.


    He even tried his best to leave her because he was afraid of hurting her.


    Zhang Man suddenly had a desire to speak.


    She omitted the part about her rebirth and told Zhang Huifang all kinds of things between her and Li Wei, including his tragic past, his mental illness, his depression, and the reason why he left her.


    She thought that if she told her mom, she might understand her.


    After listening, Zhang Huifang took a deep breath.


    She didn¡¯t expect the boy who looked quiet and followed the rules had experienced so much misfortune. And after listening to Zhang Man, she really thought that he liked Zhang Man.


    If she was listening to someone else tell their story, she would certainly encourage them to find him quickly.


    But the words that were about to come out of her lips stopped.


    She had her selfish motives. What¡¯s more, this was her daughter.


    ¡°¡­ Man Man, have you really thought it over? If you find him, do you intend to live with him all your life? You are still young now, and do not know what life is. It will be very hard for you to live with a person like him for the rest of your life.¡±


    Hearing this, Zhang Man was dazed and wept.


    She didn¡¯t stay with him in her previous life. Didn¡¯t she have a hard time during that life?


    She cried and told the truth.


    ¡°Mom, all I know is that if I lose him, it will be very hard. I might not have any happiness in my life forever.¡±


    Zhang Huifang hugged her and sighed.


    She had been pursuing a simple love since she was young.


    But she was doomed to not get it in this life. She had gone down the wrong road from the start.


    She thought, if Zhang Man really feels that it has to be him, what else can I say?


    ¡°Man Man, I¡¯m already at an age where I just want to live a steady life with you and Uncle Xu.¡±


    She went on, ¡°But you are still young. If you really want to try, then I will support you. If you are tired of it one day, then you can come back to me.¡±

 CH 51.1

    Chapter 51 Part 1


    As each day passed, the New Year was getting closer. Zhang Man still had not found Li Wei. It was like he had completely disappeared from her world.


    It had been dry for many days in N city. It suddenly started to lightly rain during the afternoon on New Year¡¯s Eve.


    Zhang Huifang went to the market to buy food. In the evening, she and Zhang Man agreed to go to Uncle Xu¡¯s for the New Year.


    Zhang Man layed on the bed, listening to the rain outside.


    In the community downstairs, several mischievous boys were setting off firecrackers. On such a wet and rainy day, they have to try harder to light a firecracker. It was timeconsuming, but they still enjoyed themselves.


    At this age, it was nice to be carefree. There was nothing to worry about. Listening to the firecrackers was a simple happiness that could last for a long time.


    Zhang Man looked at the windowsill. More than half the orchids had died since she hadn¡¯t watered them for days.


    Twelve days.


    He left her for twelve days already.


    When she was with him, every day went by quickly; but ever since he left, she had to endure and would count the days with her fingers.


    ""


    Zz. Zz.


    The cell phone on the bed suddenly vibrated. Zhang Man jumped up like she had been shocked. She quickly grabbed her cell phone to open it.


    It was the end of the year bill from her cell phone provider.


    She stared at the message for a long time.


    Am I disappointed?


    Her lips curved and she smiled.


    She didn¡¯t seem to be disappointed. She had zero hopes of it being him.


    As time passed by, her hope gradually dropped. Maybe one day, she would suddenly accept that he had left.


    The hardest thing she had to do every day was reading through the news.


    Weibo, newspapers, NetEase News¡­ She skimmed through the news with different sites every day, and even though she was trembling with fear, she forced herself to read it.


    Fortunately. Fortunately, she didn¡¯t see any articles that scared her.


    There were no titles like ¡°Youth Suicide¡±, ¡°Depressed Suicide¡±, etc.


    Zhang Man sat up. Put her legs to her chest and buried her face in her knees.


    It really took a lot of courage to find someone. Zhang Huifang said that the grandmother and her family in the unit next door had sold the apartment and were looking for her child in every place they could go to.


    She also went to a lot of places to find him.


    Two days ago, she even went to Z City alone.


    She went to the oceanarium and walked through all the exhibits alone. She thought that he might go there, but she did not dare to hold her breath. She kept looking for him and didn¡¯t look at any of the performances or events.


    She also went to the hotel where the two had been to together. The old man listened to her and said that he was not there. She only asked him a question, but he coldly replied that he had not seen him.


    She was afraid that he lied to her,  so she squatted in front of the hotel and waited for hours.


    It was still snowing in Z city. It was seven or eight degrees below zero and it was freezing cold.


    She didn¡¯t wear the earmuffs he sent her, and the frigid sea wind was blowing her ears. The piercing pain helped her to some extent by distracting her from the despair and confusion.


    What was more difficult though was missing him.


    She missed him all the time, such as now.


    How is he doing alone?


    Is he eating well? Has he gone out in the sun? Has he gone to the hospital every day for treatment like how he said he would in his email? Did he listen to the doctor and take the medication?


    She wanted to tell him that if he was depressed, then he needed to be exposed to the sun more. Only by looking at the sun could a person feel more hopeful about life.


    N City and Z City had rain and snow, but it did not have any sun.


    At this moment, she even thought, maybe it¡¯s lucky that he is not in N City and went somewhere else.


    Maybe his city is different from N City and Z City. Maybe his city has sunshine.


    Wait a moment¡­


    Lucky that he is not in N City.


    How am I sure that he is not in N City?


    Zhang Man suddenly raised her head.


    He said in the email that he would go to other cities for treatment.


    From the moment she saw his email, she firmly believed that he had gone to another city. What¡¯s more, when she went to his home, his neighbor said that he was carrying a big suitcase out of the door. This made her confirm her beliefs again.


    The data from the police station that day flashed through her mind. It showed that there were no records of him traveling on any plane or train.


    It can¡¯t be.


    If he wanted to make it impossible for her to find him, he would have definitely gone far away. Moreover, how could he possibly take the car?


    He would not choose such a slow and inefficient way of leaving.


    Therefore, there was only one possibility.


    He lied to her.


    He was still in N city.


    He deliberately led her on, but hid in the closest place he could after leaving her.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart trembled, and her temple was throbbing. She immediately jumped up from the bed and went downstairs.


    It was New Year¡¯s Eve. She couldn¡¯t flag down a taxi.


    She got on the bus. Only a few families in N City had a car. There were many people travling to buy New Year¡¯s goods by bus. There were no seats at all. She stood during the ride and was crammed in. It was not easy for her to reach Li Wei¡¯s home.


    She rushed to take the elevator up and frantically rang the doorbell. Yet, no one responded.


    Zhang Man bit her lip. She did not give up.


    She thought for a moment and knocked on the neighbor¡¯s door.


    It was the same aunt who opened the door last time. She obviously remembered her.


    ¡°Little girl, haven¡¯t you found your boyfriend? I haven¡¯t seen him recently, so I guess he hasn¡¯t come back.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s spirit was suddenly drained and she sat down on the steps.


    Am I wrong? Did he actually go to another city?


    It can¡¯t be, I¡¯m sure of it.


    If he is still in N City and isn¡¯t living at home, where can he be?


    Her thoughts were very chaotic. Suddenly, she had a flash of inspiration. She remembered what he said that day when he stood on the balcony.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry¡­ that balcony back then is not in this home.¡±


    ¡°That year¡­ before the accident, our family lived in another place¡­¡±


    Wait, Li Wei¡¯s family lives in N City, but they have more than one home.


    She immediately opened her cell phone and called Chen Feier.


    ¡°Feier, do you remember the classmate who lived in the same neighborhood as Li Wei when they were young?¡±


    Chen Feier had a rough idea about the situation with Li Wei from her beforehand. She knew that she had been looking for him, so she immediately hung up the phone to ask the question to the classmate.


    Soon, Zhang Man got the address. It was a luxury villa area in N City. It was far away from the urban area, and it faced a beautiful and clean sea on the northside of N City.


    Zhang Man took a deep breath.


    She forced herself to stand up. It was slow and took a long time. The dizziness still lingered.


    She held the handle of the stairs and walked down as she endured the strong fainting feeling in her head. Her legs trembled uncontrollably.


    She was too tired, physically and mentally. The past few days, trying to find him had taken over her life.


    How wonderful will it be if I find him this time?


    Once she finds him, she would start eating well and sleeping better.


    She shouldn¡¯t continue torturing herself like how she did these days.

 CH 51.2

    Chapter 51 Part 2


    There was no direct bus to the villa area. Zhang Man couldn¡¯t get a taxi, so she had to take the bus to the nearest station. She took a look at the map on her cell phone. There were three kilometers left.


    Three kilometers.


    It¡¯s only three kilometres.


    Zhang Man looked at the winding road. She shook her head and smiled. Fortunately, the rain stopped since she didn¡¯t even bring an umbrella. She was a mess.


    The winding road was on the mountain cliffs and was built along the dark blue sea.


    This sea was different from the crowded bay in the center of N City. It was very quiet. Large areas of golden sand beaches had not been industrialized, nor had tourists touched it. It radiated the beauty of being an original part of nature. At this moment, the sun was setting. The street lamps that were ten meters apart  on both sides of the road gradually lit up.


    The sea was still ebbing at this time, making simple harmonic movements.


    This original part of nature seemed to be isolated from the festive occasion happening to humans.


    Whether it was New Year¡¯s Eve or an ordinary day, it was the same.


    The villa area was halfway up the mountain. The road did not have a sidewalk. It looked like it was not built for walking. In the villa area, all the families had a car. Zhang Man walked along the deserted winding mountain road. The cold and piercing wind made it hard for her to breathe well, and her knees began to ache.


    Walking up the mountain was much slower than walking on a flat road. After more than an hour, the night grew darker. Zhang Man finally saw the brightly lit villa area.


    The community had a touch of luxury. The unique buildings were situated on the mountainside, and overlooked all of N City.


    She had to swipe a card to enter the community. Zhang Man waited to the side of the entrance. A few minutes later, someone finally came in. She immediately followed the resident into the community.


    The villa area was not big, and there were only a dozen households in the area. She walked up the path, one by one to look at the house number.


    Five, seven, nine.


    It¡¯s here.


    The villa in front of her occupied a large area. Its style was very magnificent and elegant. The enormous courtyard was not fenced. It was designed like a small European garden, with a wooden swing placed in there. In the courtyard, there was a two story mini mansion that was extremely white, grand and exquisite.


    The lights were not on in the villa.


    Zhang Man stood at the door in a daze. The air at night was cold, and the cold air was irritating her from her windpipe to her lungs. It hurt a lot.


    She squatted down slowly, putting her arms around her head, and took a deep breath helplessly.


    She had walked for a long time under the extremely cold weather. Her head was becoming more and more dizzy at the moment.


    But the discomfort her body felt was nothing compared to having a meltdown again.


    Each of the villa¡¯s windows had its curtains drawn. It looked different from the other homes decorated with red lanterns around it. It looks lifeless.


    It was obvious that no one lived here.


    He was not here.


    Zhang Man squatted at the door. She clutched her chest. She felt the throbbing pain in her heart through the clothes. She really guessed wrong.


    The endless despair came like the tide.


    Where are you¡­ Why can¡¯t I find you¡­ I¡¯ve tried looking at so many places. Every day I have to watch the news, watch my cell phone, and worry about something happening.


    Why don¡¯t you just give me a message?


    Even if you don¡¯t tell me where you are, can¡¯t you tell me that you are safe? I just want to know if you are safe and if you are eating well.


    How can you ask me to live my life when you said it like that¡­


    I can¡¯t eat and can¡¯t sleep. I think of you as soon as I close my eyes, and I want to find you as soon as I open my eyes¡­ Everytime I become full of hope, I become disappointed again and again. If it happens again, I am scared that I will never find you for the rest of my life.


    How can I live after that? Or do you want to live past 30 in confusion and put up with the suffering, just like in our previous lives?


    It¡¯s New Year¡¯s Day today. Each and every family has hung up their red lanterns. How can you celebrate the New Year alone?


    At the gate of the courtyard, Zhang Man finally gave up hope again and cried.


    Bang¡­


    At this time, the sudden loud noise startled her.


    She turned around and saw that someone had set off fireworks on the coast.


    Big red fireworks exploded in the dark sky. They were huge, blooming fireworks¡ªit looked like the end of the previous year and the beginning of a new year was being celebrated.


    The sparks then fell and disappeared into the boundless night. It was full of the best wishes during the New Year celebration for those who have worked hard all year.


    Zhang Man rubbed her eyes.


    The youth she was thinking about was standing at the intersection close by, under the red fireworks, staring at her deeply.


    Although his hair was messy, his facial hair was stubbly, and he was unkempt, it was fine since he still had his arms and legs.


    Zhang Man stood up. She breathed very quietly and wiped away the tears.

 CH 52.1

    ¡ª¡°Li Wei, look. There are fireworks on the coast. It¡¯s beautiful.¡±


    Under the darkness, the silent sea, the luxury villa area halfway up the mountain, the fork road covered with snow, the girl pulled on the youth¡¯s sleeve and looked up at him.


    The huge fireworks behind them were gorgeous and bold. It was like the first firework turned on a switch, and gradually more fireworks bloomed at the same time. It lit up half of N City¡¯s sky.


    People came out of their homes and stood outside to watch the fireworks.


    This was the highest place in N City. It was close to the sea, and had an open view. It was probably the best place to watch fireworks.


    The youth looked down at the girl in front of him.


    He had not seen her for a long time. She looked like she had lost some weight.


    Her white cheeks were red at this moment, and there was sweat on her neck. When she talked to him, she was still slightly panting from exhaustion.


    There was a lot of dirt on her canvas shoes. She probably cuffed her pants to make it easier to walk. It exposed her thin ankles during this harsh winter.


    She raised her head. The tears staining her entire small face looked dirty. But the eyes looking at him right now were full of light.


    ""


    The youth struggled to hold the bag in his hand. Emotions surged in his heart.


    At first, he thought he couldn¡¯t endure it anymore and had a hallucination of her. So just now, he stood behind her and carefully observed her for a long time.


    Truthfully, after so many days, he could still differentiate between reality and fantasy. Before his eyes, he could see all the little features of the girl with long fluttering hair. She was his Man Man. She was not a fake.


    The ice in his heart suddenly shattered.


    That¡¯s why it was said that human beings were greedy. His first reaction was bliss.


    His Man Man. She came to find him. She found this place by herself. She found the curled up broken body he was hiding in.


    She didn¡¯t blame him or curse at him. She told him to watch the fireworks.


    She did not look like she had been anxiously looking for him for many days and did not have a breakdown again when she finally met him. She was calm, as if she had arranged this meeting yesterday.


    His heart, which had been numb for so many days, suddenly began to beat intensely. His Adam¡¯s apple rolled up and down. He even tasted the dried blood from his cracked lips.


    His emotions were exploding along with the fireworks. At this moment, he suddenly did not want to pretend.


    As for everything else, they could discuss it after watching the fireworks.


    In a few days, he was going to be unable to persevere.


    ""


    ¡°Okay, Man Man. Let¡¯s watch the fireworks.¡±


    ¡­


    The grand firework display lasted for half an hour. It had all kinds of colors and patterns, and the golden sparkles were like a meteor shower.


    If they looked down from the mountain, they could vaguely see that there were many people gathered at the coast. The people were celebrating the end of the year with fireworks.


    It was a dreamy and gorgeous scene that would be hard to see ten years later since many cities began to ban fireworks and firecrackers.


    Zhang Man tightly held the youth¡¯s sleeve. She leaned against the swing in the yard and listened to the loud sound of fireworks booming. She had a huge silent smile.


    She had found him. She knew she would find him.


    ¡­


    After the fireworks, Zhang Man followed him to the door.


    She wanted to hold his hand, but he avoided¡ªhe changed which hand was holding things so that the hand close to her would not be held by her.


    Zhang Man gritted her teeth and stood at the door. She waited for him to take the key out to open the door.


    After entering the door and throught he entryway, there was a huge and spacious living room. An enormous crystal chandelier lit up with a click when the switch was pressed. The bright light shined from the ceiling and illuminated the entire space in a flash.


    It was different from the luxurious and refined features outside. The villa was very empty. It was even empiter than his apartment. In the living room where they had just entered, everything was covered with a white cloth except for a single sofa. No one had used any of the furniture for about ten years.


    The villa¡¯s ceiling was very high, which made the whole space seem empty and big.


    The youth took off his shoes and stood on the snow-white tiles. He handed her the only pair of clean slippers that could be worn.


    From the moment he first spoke to her, he never spoke to her again, nor looked at her.


    He neither refused nor accepted.


    She didn¡¯t know what he was thinking.


    Zhang Man put on the slippers and walked with him.


    He might not have wanted to understand it yet.


    She had to give him time.


    But Zhang Man knew that many things could not be like before. She would give him complete freedom and let him do what he wanted. This time, she didn¡¯t care if he wanted to understand or not, she would never leave him.


    ¡°Man Man, are you hungry? I¡¯ll cook some noodles.¡±


    The youth took out a large bag of instant noodles from the bag he had been carrying. He tore open the bag and took out two small packets. Then, he looked at her.


    The tone was not very warm, but not distant.


    It was like he was welcoming a guest from afar.


    Zhang Man listened to his tone and suddenly became angry.


    The tranquil atmosphere of their reunion seemed to be carried away by the roaring sea breeze as the fireworks ended.


    After looking for him for so many days, even if she knew that he was ill, even if she knew that he was forgiveable, and even if she knew his point of view, all of this might be for her own good.


    But, how could she not have complaints?


    She replied stiffly, ¡°Well, I¡¯ve been looking for you for several days. Today, I walked for two hours to go up the mountain. I¡¯m very hungry. Do you have eggs and ham? I want to add an egg and ham.¡±


    After listening to her, he froze.


    The air was silent for a long time.


    ¡°No, I¡¯ll go buy it¡­¡±


    As he spoke, he put the things on the table of the dining room and wanted to go to the entryway.


    He really intended to go out.


    Zhang Man grabbed his sleeve and remarked in a sarcastic voice, ¡°So you were going to eat instant noodles to celebrate the New Year?¡±


    When she said that, the youth looked surprised.


    Zhang Man was angry and bitter at the bottom of her heart. He didn¡¯t even realize that today was the start of the new year.


    He didn¡¯t even know it was New Year¡¯s Day.

 CH 52.2

    Chapter 52 Part 2


    The youth had lived at this home for more than ten days. Except for a single armchair, the white cloth on other furniture had not been torn off. The dust on the chandelier had not been wiped off. It looked like he had simply cleaned the bare minimum on the day he arrived to live with.


    He had been away from her for so many days, and he was not living well.


    After finding him, she thought most of her worries and despair would disappear, but instead, the anger and resentment she had been suppressing kept rising.


    She blamed him for leaving her, and blamed him even more for not taking good care of himself.


    Zhang Man let go of his sleeve and stood in front of him with her arms crossed. She hardened her heart and pretended to be indifferent as she looked at him. ¡°Li Wei, do you want to celebrate the New Year alone or do you want me to celebrate with you? If you want me to go, then I will leave now. My mom and Uncle Xu are waiting for me at home. They won¡¯t give me instant noodles to eat.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    The teenager listened to her question. His eyes had clearly darkened, but he couldn¡¯t answer.


    Look, you don¡¯t want me to leave at all. Why do you pretend that you don¡¯t care?


    Zhang Man felt like her heart was soaking in a pitcher of lemonade. It was sour and helpless.


    Some frustrating emotions began to rise.


    ¡°The Arts and Literature Department of the school has a New Year¡¯s performance tonight. It¡¯s singing. A few days ago, senior Qin Shuai sent me a message asking whether I would go. I heard many students say that the seniors not only play the piano well, but also sing well. I want to listen to it.¡±


    ¡°What do you think? Do you think I should go?¡±


    ¡°Man Man¡­¡±


    The youth finally couldn¡¯t endure it  and looked back at her helplessly. She could see the struggling and painful look in his dark eyes.


    His fingers were inching towards her sleeve without him realizing it.


    Can you keep pretending? Aren¡¯t you supposed to be very calm, cool and indifferent?


    Zhang Man lowered her eyes and smiled. She added to the fire.


    ¡°Li Wei, we broke up, right? You said in your last email that you think I will meet someone better in the future. That¡¯s right, the world is so big, I should try it. Do you think it¡¯ll be good if I go out with senior Qing Shuai? He is a very good person, with  a good upbringing, good grades, handsome, sunny, and won¡¯t¡­¡±


    She spoke and lightly chuckled.


    ¡°Won¡¯t disappear like some people.¡±


    After hearing her words, the youth¡¯s body shook violently.


    He pulled her sleeve and held her shoulder. He was impatient to take her into his arms.


    He left her for her own good and to not harm her.


    But what better person? She was his, and only his.


    The intense bitterness and pain made his eyes  turn into a terrible red, and his rational thoughts completely prevailed at this moment.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart ached when he saw him like this.


    It was obvious that he liked her a lot, and he couldn¡¯t tolerate being apart from her. Why torture himself and her too?


    She gently pushed him away and continued to add to the fire.


    ¡°Li Wei, don¡¯t touch me. We have nothing to do with each other. Why should I let you hug me?¡±


    She wanted him to admit that they were still together.


    The youth¡¯s body stiffened. His hands were still on her shoulders. He stubbornly did not take them away.


    But he still didn¡¯t speak.


    Zhang Man lowered her eyes and sighed.


    ¡°Go and cook the noodles. I¡¯m really hungry.¡±


    The youth was silent for a long time, but he finally nodded and walked to the kitchen.


    Zhang Man watched him enter the kitchen, and leaned against the door weakly.


    The panic and confusion in her heart seemed to be relieved only by blocking the door and preventing him from running away from her.


    Zhang Man took out her mobile phone and sent a message to Zhang Huifang, telling her that she had found Li Wei and would not go back to celebrate today.


    Thankfully, Zhang Huifang had Uncle Xu, so Zhang Man didn¡¯t have to worry about her too much.


    A few minutes later, the youth came out of the kitchen with two bowls of noodles and put them on the table.


    ¡°Come and eat noodles, Man Man.¡±


    Zhang Man ignored him and went to the living room alone. She wanted to move the big sofa and block the door.


    What if she was away from the door and he wanted to run again?


    Where could she find him again?


    She used all her strength to push the sofa, but it was solid wood and big. She could not move it at all.


    She felt like the whole world was laughing at her¡ªlaughing at how weak and powerless she was.


    The suffering and hopelessness in her heart suddenly exploded at this moment.


    Zhang Man kicked the sofa hard. The soft slippers collided with the solid wood sofa. It was definitely not the sofa that was injured.


    She squatted on the ground in pain. She broke down and cried.


    The lousy sofa was like its owner. Always opposing her.


    She had been looking for him for so many days.


    Nobody knew how she had been living her life and how desperate she was. Every day, aside from looking for him, she would close her eyes and just live in her imagination.


    She didn¡¯t know that a person could still cry so much.


    Every day¡ªevery single day¡ªshe thought that she might lose him when she opened her eyes. She went to Z City alone, and could not stop crying at every place she went with him.


    While others were joyfully waiting for the New Year, she could cry at every corner of the streets.


    She was not even looking forward to the New Year.


    ¡°Man Man¡­¡±


    The youth saw her squatting and crying, so he panicked. He quickly walked over, squatted down and carefully patted her on the back.


    He didn¡¯t know what to do besides stroke her long hair.


    She was squatting on the ground and crying like a wounded kitten. It made his heart ache.


    What was it like this?


    Why didn¡¯t everything go as he had planned?


    How could she be so persistent and continue to find him for this long?


    He left her so that she could live a good life. How could she become like this?


    ¡°Man Man¡­¡±


    The youth gently put his arms around her shoulder, but Zhang Man pulled away from him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t touch me. Don¡¯t call me Man Man.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you not want to hold my hand? Why are you hugging me now?¡±


    ¡°Do you know how many roads I have traveled today? Do you know how many places I have gone to look for you these days?¡±


    She looked up at him with tearful eyes.


    ¡°Do you know how sad I¡¯ve become after you left?¡±


    The youth¡¯s heart, at this moment, suddenly hurt and was about to burst.


    He could no longer listen to her.


    He picked her up and put her on the big armchair. He bent down, lifted her chin and kissed her.


    Like the first kiss, he covered the girl¡¯s eyes. But this time it was not to let her concentrate on the kiss.


    It was because he couldn¡¯t let her see his red eyes that were pouring with frantic tears.

 CH 53.1

    Chapter 53 Part 1


    Logic and emotion were always conflicting in human life.


    When he left her, his logical thinking prevailed.


    However, after struggling for so many days, he had none left the moment he saw her again.


    He was driven by passionate emotions. His first instinct was exposed.


    The youth kissed the girl of his heart crazily. He licked, bit, and sucked impatiently.


    Her soft lips that he had dreamed of for more than ten consecutive days had turned into reality. It was so sweet that he could not stop.


    Zhang Man was kissed so much by him that she was out of breath. She could only take off the hands covering her eyes and pushed him away. Then, she took deep breaths with her mouth.


    Before she caught her breath, the youth with the dark eyes took advantage of her again. He confined her and knelt down on the sofa in a dangerous position.


    Zhang Man put her hand up to separate their lips and looked at him.


    There was a huge chandlier above their heads. They were on the mahogany sofa. She sat up as he continued to be on his knees. They stared at each other without moving.


    The youth was embarrassed and looked haggard. His eyes were stubborn and slightly red, and his long eyelashes were slightly damp.


    He was like a beast who was hiding himself in the corner of a cave. Bruised, but unwilling to give up.


    He was crying just now.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart trembled and reached out to touch his eyes.


    The youth retreated prudently. She saw how he looked overwhelmed and could only turn his head.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart had a needle in it.


    That¡¯s right, it was not easy for him to leave her. He must have struggled for a long time to make that decision.


    How did he live when she was not around? What kind of life did he live that produced this kind of expression? She couldn¡¯t even look at him. When she looked at him, her heart felt uncomfortable. She listened to him, followed him and loved him.


    The youth she loves had really suffered too much.


    But she couldn¡¯t be soft hearted again. If she let him go, she wouldn¡¯t want to experience the consequences again.


    She knew that he was stubborn and fragile. Only he could solve the conflict and struggles in his heart.


    Zhang Man hardened her heart and said sarcastically, ¡°Why? I¡¯m not your girlfriend now. Do you want to be rude to me, classmate Li Wei?¡±


    ¡°If you think we have nothing to do with each other, then from now on, don¡¯t touch me. We will never see each other again.¡±


    She tried hard to bear the pain of her heart and did not leave him a trace of affection or give him any way out.


    Of course, questions with multiple choices never had just one answer.


    For this reason, she offered a tempting answer.


    ¡°If you admit now that I am still your girlfriend, we will continue with that kiss just now.¡±


    After listening to the two options, the youth was really silent.


    The fireworks had just finished in N City. The place turned quiet. On the last day of the year, the villa area halfway up the mountain was like a far away paradise from the city.


    They were the only ones breathing in the entire house.


    It suddenly occurred to him that it had been a few days since he had left her.


    He was living in this house for a while, and every day he was thinking of her. But, he was falling into endless delusions. It seemed like from that day on, the on switch for these delusions had been pressed and completely broke out.


    He had no control over himself.


    Sometimes, the delusion was Janet; sometimes, it was Nick. Sometimes, he turned around and found them standing behind him. They looked so clear and touchable.


    He couldn¡¯t distinguish between delusion and reality at all times. Occasionally, he even thought that he had been living in this house with Janet and Nick, so he never went out.


    He even thought that school, Man Man, and everything in the outside world were his delusions.


    When he woke up from the delusions, he would fall into an endless rage and self loathing.


    He was a complete lunatic.


    How could he be qualified to have her again? What could he give her?


    ¡ªLet¡¯s choose the same choice as my first choice: Let¡¯s never see each other again.


    Never see her again. He didn¡¯t want to hurt her in this life.


    A moment later, the youth spoke with difficulty, ¡°Man Man, I¡­¡±


    His words were stuck in his throat like a stabbing fish bone. It could neither go down nor come up.


    It was obvious what his choice was that day. Why was it that when he saw her again, he couldn¡¯t say it?


    ¡°What¡¯s your choice? Say it. Are we breaking up? You wrote in your email that we should break up. I want to hear you say it yourself. Say it again. What is our relationship right now? If you say that we have no relationship, that we are ordinary classmates, then I will leave now, and I will never care about you again.¡±


    Zhang Man looked at the fierce struggle in his eyes and continued to press him. She never gave him another chance to avoid it.


    The youth¡¯s eyes became darker and darker, and his Adam¡¯s apple rolled up and down.


    The slight struggle left in his eyes was finally shattered after a long silence.


    He could no longer deceive himself.


    ¡ªThere might be a sliver of logic in his heart that reminded him to leave her, but tens of trillions of cells were clamoring all over his body to tell him to admit it¡ªthat he wanted her and he wanted her to be next to him.


    He was no match for that.


    The youth¡¯s heart twitched with pain. He sighed, held her weakly, and leaned his head against her neck.


    He finally gave in.


    Humans were selfish, and he was not a saint.


    He had torn his heart in half and forced himself to leave her. However, she was persistant in finding him and demanded an answer from him, so how could he resist?


    The youth¡¯s voice was full of pain and hoarseness. It was like a rock in the Gobi Desert. After years of struggling, it had finally weathered into sand by the desert wind.


    ¡°Man Man, you are the most important person in my life.¡±


    ¡°Do you¡­ still want me?¡±

 CH 53.2

    Chapter 53 Part 2


    His heavy, hot breath fell on her neck.


    Zhang Man couldn¡¯t hold back any longer.


    When she heard his helpless admission, she could no longer pretend.


    She raised her hand, put them around the youth¡¯s back, and blinked as a stream of hot tears came from the corner of her eyes.


    ¡°So, do you choose the second option?¡±


    She had to confirm it again cautiously.


    The youth¡¯s head rubbed against her neck and helplessly replied, ¡°Yes, the second option.¡±


    Never leave her again.


    Zhang Man¡¯s lips finally curved into a smile.


    She suddenly relaxed after being tense for so long. At this moment, she actually felt the soreness of her calf muscles, as well as the itching frostbite on her ears from the blowing wind in the past couple of days.


    She was really afraid just now¡ªafraid that he would say that he still wanted to leave her.


    It¡¯s not easy to put up with him sometimes.


    ¡°Yes, what I want, as long as you still choose me, is you.¡±


    She nodded her head anxiously out of fear that he would go back on his words.


    The youth raised his head. Although there was still confusion and trepidation about the future in his eyes, there was still a flash of bliss after she nodded.


    Zhang Man hugged him and faithfully fulfilled the promise of the second option.


    First, she kissed his eyes gently. She wiped the tears with her lips. Then, she lifted his chin, came closer to him, and paused tentatively on his lips.


    His lips trembled slightly. He was soft and honest, and couldn¡¯t hide his feelings.


    After the extremely short pause, the youth began to return the action and responded to her eagerly and warmly.


    He wanted to receive his reward for his selection without reservation.


    ¡­


    When they finally remembered to eat, the noodles had already become soft and stuck together. It tasted pretty bad.


    The light seafood flavor of instant noodles, and the included vegetables were barely passable. It was probably the worst New Year¡¯s dinner Zhang Man had ever eaten.


    But she had traveled too much today, and climbed a mountain. Just now, she had walked around with him for a long time, so she was hungry. Zhang Man frowned and finished the whole bowl before putting down the chopsticks.


    She looked up at the youth who was still eating his noodles.


    He ate at a steady pace. He never frowned, and it seemed like he didn¡¯t have any likes or dislikes for what he was eating.


    Zhang Man opened the bag he had just put on the table. In addition to the bag of instant noodles he just took out, there are two other big bags of instant noodles. Each had five packets.


    He had 15 packets of instant noodles. She didn¡¯t know how long he was going to eat them for.


    She put down her chopsticks and leaned over to hold his hand. ¡°Li Wei, how long have you been eating instant noodles?¡±


    The youth looked at her carefully, but he didn¡¯t lie anymore.


    ¡°Ten days.¡±


    It¡¯s pretty much what she expected.


    ¡°How about the first few days? Did you eat outside? Or¡­ did you starve?¡±


    ¡°¡­ Yeah.¡±


    He starved. A few days after leaving her, just the thought of the hand he put on her neck that night made him feel sick to the point of throwing up. He couldn¡¯t eat anything.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart felt messed up. She sat closer to him. ¡°Why don¡¯t you order delivery?¡±


    ¡°¡­ I couldn¡¯t turn on my cell phone.¡±


    Zhang Man listened to this answer, and became angry and anxious. ¡°Were you afraid that I would find you?¡±


    The youth shook his head.


    In fact, he was not afraid that she would find him, but that he was afraid of himself.


    When the phone was on, he couldn¡¯t stop the urge to call her.


    ¡°What have you been doing these days?¡±


    He didn¡¯t have a TV in his home. He might not even have any Internet connection. So what was he doing for so many days?


    ¡°¡­ Thinking of you.¡±


    As long as he was awake, he would think of her all the time.


    Zhang Man looked at how he was acting and suddenly lost her temper.


    ¡°Do you know how many phone calls I¡¯ve made to you these days? 163. I¡¯ve sent you a lot of text messages, but you haven¡¯t returned any. Li Wei, if you say you are leaving, then leave. To put it directly, you¡¯re so cruel.¡±


    He was cruel to her, and even more cruel to himself.


    After the youth heard this, the veins on his temple began to throb again.


    He put down his chopsticks and hugged her in pain. He didn¡¯t know what to do or say to comfort her.


    He had never thought that she could be so persistent.


    ¡°Man Man, you have lost weight¡­¡±


    He carressed her shoulder and neck, and pinched her cheek. It was very painful. She was already thin, but now she didn¡¯t have much else but skin. Her chin was sharp, and baby fat on her face was gone.


    Her face was small, and now that she had lost weight, it made her eyes bigger.


    How could this happen¡­ Based on his first thoughts, a girl her age would be sad, resentful, and have complaints after receiving such an email.


    But how could she be like that? She wanted to find him anyway, and thought of him all the time. And even after she found him¡­ she wanted him.


    Zhang Man looked at him. His eyes showed that was processing too much information. He was distressed, puzzled, and confused.


    He hesitated to ask, but she could read through him at this moment.


    Zhang Man turned her head angrily and bit him hard on the cheek until she left a deep tooth mark.


    The youth grunted, but didn¡¯t escape. He held her and allowed her to vent.


    Still frustrated, Zhang Man clenched her fist and hammered him fiercely. She avoided his face, but hammered his head, shoulders and chest at random.


    Hit after hit. It was hard for both of them.


    ¡ª¡±Li Wei, you have known me for so long, but you don¡¯t know me at all.¡±

 CH 54

    ¡ª¡±Li Wei, you have known me for so long, but you don¡¯t know me at all.¡±


    The youth was stumped after hearing this.


    How could he not know her?


    Every move, every detail of her life, every smile and every tear, he would remember them again and again these past few nights.


    It was the only way he could keep living.


    He knew that she liked spicy food and preferred fried seafood over steamed seafood. She loved the sea and the beach at dusk. She always let out a gasp of joy when she saw it.


    She used to frown when she did her homework. She would neatly write down every formula, row by row.


    She liked singing and listening to music. Her favorite was slow swaying English country songs. She always listened to it when she did her homework.


    She usually didn¡¯t like to smile , but she liked to smile at him.


    When she was sad, she used to squat on the ground, bury her head in her knees and cry. She looked like a little cat abandoned by her owner, curled up and trembling.


    She¡­


    He wanted to argue all these points, but was knocked down by her words.


    He was completely defeated.


    ¡°Li Wei, you don¡¯t know me at all. You don¡¯t know how much I like you.¡±


    ¡°You have no idea how important you are in my life.¡±


    She had been thinking about this for so many years. She finally said it this winter during the night she saw him again.


    Zhang Man suddenly remembered that she had never said that she liked him properly except the day he confessed to her.


    Before they got together, shewas worried about his mental state. She was afraid of overwhelming him and that he would be paranoid. She could only carefully control her feelings.


    After getting together with him, she became deeply in love every day. As long as she was with him, she forgot everything and even forgot to say it. She was used to keeping her thoughts to herself, and expressing her feelings had always been hard for her.


    But if she didn¡¯t say it, it didn¡¯t mean it didn¡¯t exist.


    She liked him a lot.


    Her feelings for him had been a part of her for so many years. It was firmly set in her mind, flowing in her blood and buried in her heart.


    Truthfully, the word ¡°like¡± was too simple to describe her feelings.


    Maybe it was because she gave him the illusion that she would be better off without him.


    But how was that possible?


    She put her hands on the youth¡¯s shoulders and looked at his eyes firmly and gently.


    ¡°Boyfriend, I like you 1,000 times¨C10,000 times more than you think.¡±


    After hearing her words, the youth twitched violently.


    Even if his heart was still struggling and worried, it couldn¡¯t stop the joy from overflowing.


    His Man Man said that she liked him thousands of times more than he thought.


    He clearly thought that as long as she liked him a little, or as long as she could accept that he liked her, he was blessed.


    Zhang Man slightly smiled.


    It was a silent night in the huge house. There were two people cuddling each other.


    There were many things that could only be said in a safe atmosphere.


    Her voice was gentle, saying things she had never said to anyone for so many years.


    ¡°I remember that after you came with me to Uncle Xu¡¯s house that day, you asked me about me and my mother¡¯s living situation when I was younger.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say anything back then, but I¡¯ll tell you now.¡±


    ¡°Before I met you, I was a different person.¡±


    ¡°When my mother gave birth to me, she was too young. She couldn¡¯t take care of herself, so how could she take care of me?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t have a father. When I was in elementary school, the teacher asked everyone to write an essay with the title ¡°My Father¡±. All students had to write an essay on this topic.¡±


    ¡°And you know what? I made one up. I forgot what job I made up. It was probably a fireman or a doctor.¡±


    ¡°I was afraid of being different from everyone else. I was scared that the teacher would ask me about it in front of everyone, and that they would feel sympathy for me and notice me because of how I was different.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t like taking chances, and I didn¡¯t like doing new things. I have always lived in my narrow comfort zone, and I couldn¡¯t leave it. Nor did I want to.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t follow any celebrities, and I didn¡¯t like talking to girls about which boy in the class was handsome and which boy was funny. Gossip had nothing to do with me.¡±


    ¡°I am not like you.  I have been excluded from my childhood for these reasons. I have never been able to blend in. Except for Chen Feier, I don¡¯t have a strong relationship with everyone else. Everyone has their friend groups but I am used to having only one or two friends around me, which is better.¡±


    ¡°I am considered the ¡®autistic child¡¯ among my mother¡¯s friends because I never said anything. My mom used to sing at a bar when I was young. I would just sit down and watch. I often wondered why my mother and I were so different.¡±


    ""


    ¡°She looked like the brightest star on the stage, and I¡­ I always want to hide myself in the crowd all the time. I didn¡¯t want to be in the spotlight, I didn¡¯t want anyone to pay attention to me. The moment anyone looks at me, I become aware and I will become upset.¡±


    ¡°Do you still remember the National Day show that happened last semester? Chen Feier told me that boys might like girls who are talented. I had also asked you if you like the guitar, and you said you did. So, in order to impress you, I braced myself and signed up for the show. You didn¡¯t know this, but on the day of the actual performance, the spotlight landed on my face and I looked at the crowd with my shaking hands on the guitar. Unfortunately, you didn¡¯t come that day.¡±


    When she said this, she pouted and glared at him.


    Although she finally sang to him on the beach, she was a little disappointed that he didn¡¯t come to the performance.


    The youth hugged her, kissed her cheek to apologize and continued to listen to her.


    ¡°Also, I didn¡¯t like physics before, but I know what you love most is physics. Every time you talk about physics, your eyes are full of stars like in the vast universe. Slowly, I also fell in love with this simple and powerful subject.¡±


    Even when she was in college in her previous life, she chose this major that she was not really good at with determination.


    ¡°Chen Feier used to say that when she grew up, she would explore the world to make a living and experience the different beauty of every corner of the world. But I never dreamed of that. I even had thoughts back then about how tiring it would be to travel so far, so why not stay at home and watch tv? I wouldn¡¯t need to worry about running into any accidents while traveling, and didn¡¯t need to plan where I need to go today and tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°But after being with you, I sometimes think that when we have time, we must go to see the south of the Yangtze River in the continuous drizzle and the intoxicating spring breeze in Lake Baikal. I want to go see the sand covered loess plateaus with you, and walk with you by the Seine River. When we are tired, we lean against the railing and kiss. They say that many lovers will kiss there.¡±


    ¡°So, boyfriend, after I met you, I almost became a different person. I experienced love with you that I have never experienced before. Mhm, after I met you, I began to be curious about the world and love it.¡±


    ¡°The day you left me, I began to miss you.¡±


    ¡°The yearning and pain did not fade because of time, but became more and more intense.¡±


    ¡°Do you think that if I never find you for the rest of my life, that maybe decades later, when I become a little old lady, I will still live alone in a narrow comfort zone? And still be mediocre and uninteresting? That kind of life is dull, and I will be dreadfully unaccomplished.¡±


    Just like in her previous life.


    That was her.


    There had never been great joy and sadness, only indifference. She had been hiding in a safe and hard shell all her life. Outsiders thought it seemed very normal. Only she knew that she was totally different from the rest of the world.


    Yet, this kind of emotion did not reach the point of torment. It would not provoke her to not want to live, but everything alive would seem bland to her.


    But not him.


    He was the most special thing in her ordinary life.


    He was the heart pounding sweetness in her dreams at night, the person she was waiting for a long time in her heart, and the reason her heart was electrified and her blood flowed.


    Loving the right person would make a person experience a complete positive change.


    How could he understand that?


    She had to let him know.


    She knew that he was full of hesitations about the world, and she knew that he might be depressed. He even had doubts about the meaning of life.


    She really had to let him know.


    Zhang Man raised her head and kissed his lips with tears forming in her eyes.


    ¡ª¡±Boyfriend, don¡¯t underestimate yourself or doubt your worth. You are the world to me.¡±

 CH 55.1

    ¡ª¡±Boyfriend, don¡¯t underestimate yourself or doubt your worth. You are the world to me.¡±


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t believe that there will be someone who can replace you in the future. If I lose you, I will lose the love of my life.¡±


    After Zhang Man finished speaking, the youth held her tightly and could not speak at all.


    The best way to love someone was not to tell him how much you love him nor how much you have done for him.


    The most impactful way was to let him really feel how much you need him and how important he is to you.


    She said that he was irreplaceable to her.


    Li Wei used to think that he was just a wonderful, fortunate, fateful, first love for Zhang Man. He never thought that he would be so important to her.


    This importance was like a string tied to a kite. It gave him a special connection to the world.


    This importance made him understand that every decision he made affected more than him alone.


    He finally understood her feelings.


    She was his Man Man, who he wanted to keep close by forever and not let her be hurt in any way. She had suffered so much in order to find him these past few days.


    At this moment, the youth suddenly knew how wrong he was.


    He thought he should leave without saying goodbye in order not to hurt her. However, the decision he made without any regards to her was fatal.


    ¡°Man Man, I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±


    He was so filled with regret that he could not properly express his guilt and heartache. He could only caress the girl into his arms. Like this, it felt like the pain and guilt in his heart could be relieved.


    Zhang Man finally breathed a sigh of relief.


    She could feel that he understood her.


    And that from now on, he would not make decisions behind her back. As long as he discussed everything with her, everything would be fine.


    She was really tired after so many days of running around everywhere. She put her head up with a smile and rubbed the youth¡¯s cheek with her forehead. ¡°Okay, your punishment is to wash the dishes.¡±


    He obediently picked up the bowls and chopsticks and went to the kitchen. Zhang Man leaned against the door to watch him.


    This kind of scene was extremely homely, which made her feel safe. With him, every ordinary little thing was warm.


    Zhang Man watched the youth put two porcelain bowls into the sink and he turned on the water.


    She had not seen him in days and he seemed to be clumsier. He didn¡¯t know how to roll up his sleeves when washing dishes. The water from the tap splashed onto his sleeves and got wet.


    Zhang Man smiled and shook her head. She couldn¡¯t look any longer. She went to help him roll up his sleeves, but the youth dodged her.


    ¡°Man Man, the kitchen is not clean. Go sit on the sofa and wait for me, okay?¡±


    He smiled when he said this to her. She could not see anything different with his expression. His hands were immersed in the foamy soap, and his sleeves covered his wrists. As he washed the bowls, he created more foam.


    Zhang Man concentrated, and her suspicions rose again.


    She grabbed the youth¡¯s hand and forcefully pulled his sleeves. In the next second, her heart ached and she could hardly breathe.


    On his clean and strong arms there were a bunch of different cuts. All with different shallowness and angles. Some even overlapped.


    It was obvious that these were new wounds.


    Some of them were covered with purple scabs, while others were open wounds, and had a bit of blood coming out.


    It was really hideous.


    Under what circumstances would a person hurt himself in this way?


    Her heart kept falling. Her right hand that held his arm shook. She could not look at those wounds again.


    She raised her head, bit her lips, and looked straight at him.


    This event was so horrible that she could not control her teeth from clattering and she got goosebumps.


    She couldn¡¯t even ask.


    The youth panicked and wanted to break free from her. However, Zhang Man was using all her strength. If he struggled again, he might hurt her.


    After a long stalemate, Zhang Man admitted defeat first.


    Who was hurting who?


    There were several scars on his arm, but there was more in her heart.


    She was no longer in a good mood. She let him go. She went to the living room by herself, sat down on the sofa, and held her head weakly.


    Her head was pounding. The scene reappeared in her mind and would not disappear.


    The empty bathroom, the white tiles, the huge mirror, the bathtub stained red with blood. And the man lying in it, pale and lifeless. He did not change much from how he looked when he was younger, and she could tell it was him immediately.


    Was the hand in the bathtub covered in scars like the hand right now?


    Did he try to end his life many times with a really deep cut?


    Was it really like this?

 CH 55.2

    If she was too late in finding him, would it be like in her previous life?


    Zhang Man covered her mouth.


    Why was New Years like this? It was the first New Years they were spending together. Why did she feel so tired?


    She was trembling painfully. Suddenly, her feet were in the air, and she was picked up by him.


    The youth had one hand around her back, and the other around her legs. He picked her up from the sofa, walked through the wide living room and up the stairs.


    He had cleaned up a room on the second floor since he had been living there by himself these days.


    The youth pushed the door open with his shoulder. He put the girl in his arms on the soft big bed, and laid beside her.


    ¡°Man Man, don¡¯t be sad. It looks terrible, but it doesn¡¯t feel like anything.¡±


    He brushed away her long hair covering her face. He kissed her cheek to calm her.


    When he saw her like this, the pain in his heart was stronger than the faint pain on his arms.


    Zhang Man lay there as he continued to caress her. Her heart felt like it had been cut open. The cold wind penetrated through her this winter.


    She clenched her teeth and said to him, ¡°Li Wei, please remember, if you die, I can¡¯t live.¡±


    She tried it once, didn¡¯t she?


    In her previous life, she was caught in a mudslide less than a year after his death.


    Zhang Man never tried to remember that day.


    It was the last day of her three-month trip. There was an enormous rainstorm.


    She was going home because she realized that the trip didn¡¯t seem to help her at all.


    She was never rescued.


    Every time she visited a nice spot, she would encounter different people and things. The people who were traveling were always more relaxed than their work colleagues and friends in life. They came from all over the world, and no one knew anyone¡¯s past. They were more likely to tell each other about the sufferings they had encountered in life.


    But she didn¡¯t.


    Every day, she listened to their stories quietly and became the perfect listener among these strangers.


    She listened patiently and occasionally gave some comfort. Many people she met during her travels thought that she had a simple and happy life. No one knew that she fell asleep in fear every night. As long as she closed her eyes, she would have endless nightmares. The youth standing in the dark, desperately reaching out to her.


    On that day, she had booked a plane ticket home from Chengdu. Tired, she made arrangements with some travel buddies to take a bus from Dujiangyan1 to Chengdu.


    When the bus passed through a remote mountain road, a terrible landslide occurred. The bus was forced to retreat sharply and hit a huge rock behind it. The whole bus was knocked to the side and hung on the edge of the cliff.


    The bus did not fall instantly.


    All the passengers screamed desperately. The fear of death was not an individual feeling, but a universal one.


    The driver immediately opened the door to let everyone escape, and everyone crowded to the door, fearing they would fall into the abyss with the bus.


    Unfortunately, the bus door was blocked by several rocks, and climbing over it would take a long time.


    Her seat was very close to the door, and the people sitting next to her had already forced their way through the door. At the moment of opening the door, they desperately climbed over the big rock blocking the door and escaped.


    If she had rushed out without hesitating, she might have had a chance to survive.


    But when she stood up and tried to squeeze towards the door, the bus suddenly shook violently. Its center of gravity shifted even more towards the bottomless cliff after the ruckus. She looked back and saw many people behind her.


    The eyes of those people were huge and clearly showed their fears. There was even a woman holding a child. She was crying and trying to pass the child forward, hoping that the people in front could save her child.


    At that moment, she thought of the youth who had left her forever, and suddenly felt tired. She did not understand the point of trying so hard to squeeze through everyone.


    It was like she was not as afraid of death as they were, so why should she rob them from living?


    ""


    The bus shook again. She fell back to her seat. She  gave up the struggle completely, and closed her eyes in a daze.


    If he died in this life, what should she do?


    When the youth heard her words, he was in shock for a long time before he realized that she had a misunderstanding like this.


    He was sad and distressed. He looked at how the girl¡¯s face became more and more empty. He raised her head and kissed her lips eagerly.


    While kissing, he did his best to give an explanation.


    ¡°Man Man, I¡¯m not going to¡­ I¡¯m not going to commit suicide. I just want to control myself from thinking about people or things that don¡¯t exist.¡±


    It was hard for him to say it. He knew he sounded ridiculous.


    ¡°They say that pain can stimulate a person¡¯s nerves. I just wanted to try it when I saw them.¡±


    These days, he could always see Nick and Janet. Their existence reminded him that he was a crazy man who had no way to control himself.


    A lunatic who was very likely to hurt her.


    But he was lucky. He still wanted to make himself a normal person, and then¡­


    Then maybe one day, he could go back to her.


    Go back to the girl he loved the most and spend a long life with her.


    Thinking like this, he wondered how he could break away from those delusions and become a normal person?


    When people were insane and had fantasies, their thoughts often became simple and direct¡ª since strong sensations of pain could help a person get out of it, could he also get out of his own delusions? That¡¯s why every time he saw them, he would try it.


    It was extremely effective at first.


    When the sharp blade cut into his skin, the intense and stimulating pain could make him wake up for a very short time. Once he woke up, the delusions would disappear.


    He became obsessed with it.


    Subconsciously, human beings were all animals that seeked the most benefits through the easiest way possible. If he continued to train, then his brain would gradually accept the hint: there would be pain if there were delusions.


    In the long run, he might be able to control himself from the delusions.


    Unfortunately, this method gradually failed after attempting it several times.


    To his surprise, he gradually got used to the pain and the stimulation from the cold knife.


    Even if the wound was bloody, it no longer worked.


    ¡°Man Man, I¡¯m not going to kill myself. Look, my wounds are all on my arms. It¡¯s not close to the arteries¡­ I just, I just don¡¯t want to lose control of myself.¡±


    I just want to be able to hug you again one day.

 CH 56

    ¡ªI just want to be able to hug you again one day.


    He wasn¡¯t trying to commit suicide. He just thought he had found a way to survive.


    And a way to get closer to her.


    The youth hugged the girl in his arms and kissed her cheeks, lips and hair carefully. He tasted the salty, scalding tears on her face.


    The deepest part of his heart was also scalding.


    He had no choice but to throw away his armor and surrender to her.


    ¡°Man Man, if you don¡¯t like it, I¡¯ll never do it again. I¡¯ll listen to you. Don¡¯t cry, okay?¡±


    Zhang Man tightened her grip on his collar.


    He was so confused and depressed that he hid here and came up with these thoughts.


    Her voice was muffled.


    ¡°Does it hurt?¡±


    The youth lost his voice and stroked her long hair. ¡°¡­ Man Man, I don¡¯t feel it. It didn¡¯t hurt at all, so it didn¡¯t do anything to me.¡±


    ¡°I want to hear the truth.¡±


    The youth was silent for a moment. ¡°Maybe it hurt a little at first, but now I really can¡¯t feel it. Man Man, don¡¯t worry, okay?¡±


    He didn¡¯t do this to make her feel upset.


    He made her cry so much today.


    Zhang Man hugged him sadly and painfully. ¡°Boyfriend, no matter what, you can¡¯t do that.¡±


    The scars were really terrible to see.


    She couldn¡¯t look anymore.


    The pain humans felt was a way for them to protect themselves. People were afraid of pain, and so they would not hurt themselves easily.


    He was doing the opposite.


    How severe was his suffering that he wanted to eliminate it with pain?


    She knew that it might be difficult for him, but she still had to say it.


    ¡°Li Wei, can you¡­ try to accept them? Accept your delusions? You know that you are ill, and you can accept that.. You can¡¯t always fight against it.¡±


    He was nothing but flesh and blood. If he continued fighting like this, he would have cuts everywhere one day.


    ¡°I know it¡¯s very hard for you. No one wants to be out of control and never wants to see something that¡¯s not there. But since you can¡¯t control yourself, why don¡¯t you learn to accept it? We can slowly receive therapy in the future, and one day it will be better.¡±


    The youth did not speak, and they were left in silence for a long time again.


    The light in the room was set to the lowest level. The soft light had a yellow warmth.


    Warm colors always make the atmosphere feel warmer than cold colors.


    The youth looked at the girl¡¯s face under the shadows and he was thinking for a long time.


    His voice was hoarse and in pain. ¡°Man Man, I don¡¯t want to be out of control all the time.¡±


    Finally, he expressed his deepest fear.


    ¡°Do you know what happened the night you stayed over at my house?¡±


    ¡°I saw Nick standing at the head of the bed, trying to pinch you. When I woke up, I found my hands around your neck.¡±


    As the youth spoke, he trembled uncontrollably.


    As long as he remembered that event, he felt an uncontrollable chill.


    ¡°Man Man, there might be one day in the future where I will be like my father, and I will totally lose my mind and personally¡­¡±


    He hugged her tightly and buried his face in her hair. He could not continue speaking.


    She was his most beloved person.


    If such a day came, what could she do? He did not want to imagine a day where she was on the verge of death, and he continued to harm her without realizing it.


    Over the past few days, it had become his biggest nightmare.


    Zhang Man froze.


    She never thought something like that had happened that night.


    No wonder he said that day that he only had her and wanted her to be with him forever. Yet, he would firmly leave her afterwards.


    It turns out that all his decisions were made very carefully.


    He knew that it would not be easy without her if he left her, but he still made that choice. He must have struggled and suffered a lot, right?


    Once again, Zhang Man clearly realized that this youth loved her more than himself.


    Her heart was slightly aching in sorrow. She lifted her head from his arms and held his face.


    ¡°Li Wei, your illness is completely different from your father¡¯s. I asked the doctor about it a long time ago, and the possibility of you getting dementia is very low. It might have been an accident that day. The possibility of you hurting me is very low.¡±


    ¡°Do you still remember? I just told you what I would become if you left me. Indifferent and worthless. I will never have a strong love in my life again.¡±


    She looked straight at the uneasiness and pain in his eyes.


    ¡°So why are you letting me fall miserably in my life because of an event that will have a small possibility of happening?¡±


    ¡°What I want is to always be by your side. If you are fine, then I will be relieved.¡±


    After she finished speaking, she didn¡¯t ask him to answer her immediately.


    It was different from when she asked him to give an answer about their relationship. She had to give him time for this.


    Sometimes it took more courage to have acceptance than to fight it.


    No one could accept such a thing easily, even him.


    She held him quietly and yawned.


    ""


    The exhaustion of her body made her mind gradually foggy.


    ¡°Boyfriend, I¡¯m very tired today. I want to sleep for a while. Will you stay with me?¡±


    When a person was tired, they easily became fragile and soft-hearted.


    Zhang Man rubbed his chin and said cutely, ¡°I want you to hold me as I sleep.¡±


    As she spoke, she put her head on his warm chest and found a very comfortable sleeping position.


    ¡°Wake me up when it¡¯s almost midnight, and we¡¯ll do the countdown together.¡±


    The youth nodded. He held his girl in his arms, listening to her steady breathing.


    That¡¯s right, today is New Year¡¯s Eve.


    Just like on his birthday, she always gave him the best gift.


    ¡­


    Zhang Man was awakened by a kiss.


    She opened her eyes in a daze. The room was dark, and the only light available was off. The boy¡¯s breathing was heavy and it was right next to her face.


    ""


    He was like a big furry dog.


    She had just fallen asleep, and her mind was not fully awake. She only felt ticklish from him kissing her face, so she pushed his head away drowsily.


    ¡°Li Wei, stop playing around. What time is it now?¡±


    The youth didn¡¯t speak, but he wanted to get closer and was pushed away by her.


    ¡°¡­ 11:45, Man Man, you asked me to wake you up.¡±


    Zhang Man blinked. Her eyes were dry, and she had slept for more than two hours.


    ¡°It¡¯s so late. The countdown is only 15 minutes away. Don¡¯t play around with me.¡±


    The youth¡¯s voice was soft and a little aggrieved.


    ¡°Man Man¡­ I haven¡¯t kissed you for so many days¡­¡±


    She was so sweet and soft. Holding her in his arms made his heart itch.


    The feelings he had came back, as well as the satisfaction of holding her in his arms. His mood seemed to fluctuate every day after seeing her again.


    He couldn¡¯t sleep at all.


    She was sleeping deeply and breathing quietly. Each breath was followed by her chest rising slightly. Her thin back also rose and fell, just like a sleeping cat nestled in his arms.


    Her hair was soft and covered the whole pillow. At the same time, there were several strands of her hair that crept into his collar mischievously.


    Under the warm yellow light, her lips appeared soft pink. The outline of her lips were not clear. Meanwhile, his lips were always dry.


    She was more delicate than him.


    He observed her like this and didn¡¯t want to do anything but kiss her without a second thought.


    ¡ªThis girl could easily ignite his most primitive desire as a human being.


    She was the only thing he wanted to have in the world, and even having her was not enough.


    He couldn¡¯t handle waking her because she slept so soundly.


    He had to bear it for two hours, and forced himself to wake her up at 11:45.


    Zhang Man thought it was amusing and said, ¡°Well, you¡¯ve kissed me many times today.¡±


    The youth looked at her and moved closer to her head. He kissed her cheek and lips and replied, ¡°That¡¯s my reward for choosing the right option. It doesn¡¯t have a limit¡­¡±


    ¡­¡­


    At the last minute, they did the New Year countdown together.


    The pain and suffering finally was left behind as they left last year.


    ¡°Happy New Year, boyfriend!¡±


    ¡°Man Man, Happy New Year!¡±


    tarararawr¡¯s rararamblings: I love it when holidays in novels coincide with holidays in real life. Happy New Year~! My New Year¡¯s resolution is to finish this novel teehee~

 CH 57.1

    The next day was New Year¡¯s Day. Zhang Man got up early and went to the living room to make a video call to Zhang Huifang. She was so tired yesterday that she washed and went to bed after the countdown. She didn¡¯t pay attention to her cell phone.


    In the morning, she saw that Zhang Huifang had called her several times.


    Zhang Huifang and Xu Shang were going to get married. Last night, she spent the New Year at Uncle Xu¡¯s house with Uncle Xu and his mother.


    This was also the first time that she had officially stayed over at his house. Zhang Man was still a little worried.


    The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was always a controversial topic.


    The relationship between Chen Feier and her mother-in-law was not very good in Zhang Man¡¯s previous life. They never lived together, and there would be conflicts if they did.


    Soon, the video call connected. Zhang Huifang was sitting there eating in high spirits. Zhang Man¡¯s eyes were on the white, fat dumpling in her bowl.


    Currently, video calls were not as high quality as it was later. It was a little fuzzy. However, through the extremely low pixel quality, she could still see Zhang Huifang¡¯s smiling face.


    Zhang Man knew that things were going well. Zhang Huifang hated being angry. Even if she tried to hide her feelings, she couldn¡¯t hide them that well.


    Besides, Zhang Man was also worried that there were other people around her mom, so it was not good to ask her questions directly. Thus, she didn¡¯t mention anything.


    ¡°Mom, did you eat dumplings this New Year? It looks good.¡±


    Zhang Huifang instantly beamed. She proudly pointed the cell phone at herself, and leaned to the side with the teapot. She picked up a chubby dumpling with her chopsticks, took a bite, and showed her the stuffing.


    ¡°Uncle Xu and his mother cooked this with three fillings. It¡¯s really delicious. Zhang Man, it¡¯s a pity that you weren¡¯t here last night. You could have eaten this delicious food. The old auntie cooked a big table of food. The three of us barely ate a quarter of it. We ate until our bellies were almost bursting.¡±


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart felt warm.


    It seemed like the old auntie was very kind.


    She looked at the dumplings and had a craving for it.


    Zhang Huifang swallowed the dumpling and took a sip of the soup. ¡°By the way, Zhang Man, how is your little boyfriend? I called you several times last night, but why didn¡¯t you answer? Did you do anything bad?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    Zhang Man was speechless. Don¡¯t ask this every single time, okay? To clarify, she didn¡¯t want to do anything bad, but she couldn¡¯t help it.


    ¡°Mom, I¡¯m still underage. Can you stop thinking about things that are not suitable for children¡­¡±


    As soon as Zhang Man said this with annoyance, she saw the youth in the upper right corner of the small video screen with dripping hair and a bathrobe.


    The white bathrobe was casually tied with a belt, which looked like it was about to fall. The opening was very low, revealing a sharp clavicle and a large area of his chest.


    Zhang Man swallowed her saliva.


    The scene was too beautiful, it was too¡­ 18+.


    The youth wiped his hair, and probably didn¡¯t realize she was making a video phone call at all. He walked behind her and hugged her. He rubbed her head with his chin, and then lowered his head and  lightly kissed her on the cheek. There was still a bit of early morning sleepiness in his voice.


    It was hot and heavy.


    ¡°Man Man, why don¡¯t you sleep more?¡±


    Zhang Man: ¡°¡­¡±


    Zhang Huifang: ¡°¡­¡±


    This time, she couldn¡¯t keep her innocence. Zhang Man¡¯s cheeks turned red. She watched as Zhang Huifang¡¯s half bitten eaten dumpling fell on the table. She took a deep breath as if she was about to scold her. Zhang Man quickly said, ¡°Mom, Happy New Year, I¡¯ll hang up first.¡±


    Then, she quickly pressed end call with her thumb.


    She was embarrassed.


    She looked back angrily at the youth who just came in. She grabbed his towel and wrapped his head in it.


    ¡°Why did you come out of the shower without getting dressed properly?¡±


    The youth had a deep smile. He grabbed her angry little hands and kissed her on the lips.


    ¡°I went back to my room after taking a shower and saw that you were not there¡­ Besides, this is not the first time I have been caught. Don¡¯t worry, Man Man.¡±


    Zhang Man realized that he was talking about the time they were at the hotel in Z City.


    She was just about to nod to agree with his logic when she suddenly felt something was wrong.


    ¡­ Is this called being caught in the act?


    Zhang Man raised her hand and pinched his face, which relieved her anger.


    On the first day of the New Year, N City was sunny, which had not happened in a long time. At this time, there was sunlight coming through the sliding glass doors that had tulle curtains in the living room, making the huge space bright and warm.


    Zhang Man asked the youth to change into his clothes in the room. She opened the curtains and walked to the patio outside the living room.


    tarararawr¡¯s rararamblings: Found out that the chapters from the previous translator no longer exists. What to do¡­ T_T Not sure if I want to retranslate everything¡­

 CH 57.2

    Outside the patio was the villa¡¯s backyard. A large area of the lawn had a shriveled yellow color, but it was still tidy. There was a small area on the other side of the lawn that should have some flowers. It had withered during the winter, and Zhang Man couldn¡¯t see what it was.


    Although no one had lived in the villa for so many years, the community¡¯s property management of the garden and backyard did not seem so shabby.


    But the focus was not on the plants.


    Zhang Man leaned forward and looked out from the porch. At the foot of the mountain, she could see a view of the blue sea. The waves were pale white slivers in the sun, and tirelessly crashing into the huge rocks on the shore.


    The pureness of nature had not been exploited, it was too beautiful.


    I can see such beautiful scenery from the porch, but¡­


    Zhang Man looked up.


    The porch¡¯s ceiling was very high. Above her head was a stainless steel clothes pole attached to the ceiling.


    Her heart jerked and she bit her lower lip.


    At that moment, the youth had just just walked out of the living room. He probably saw that she had been staring at the clothes pole on the ceiling, and his eyes slightly dimmed.


    Zhang Man was worried and knew that she was right.


    It was here.


    She took a few steps. She took the youth¡¯s hand and led him to the balcony. With a little bit of strength, she pushed him against the porch railing.


    She stood on her tiptoes, put her arms around the youth¡¯s neck, and gave him the first kiss of the new year under the bright morning sun.


    The youth quickly forgot what he had thought of. He held her by the waist, forced her closer to him, and responded warmly to her.


    It was a long kiss.


    No matter how many times they kissed, their heart beat was pounding just as quickly as their first kiss¡ªit was even more irresistible because they had become more skilled, comfortable and delighted with each other.


    Zhang Man blushed and gasped for a breath in his arms.


    ¡°Well, boyfriend, you are only allowed to remember that I kissed you on this balcony on the first day of the year, okay?¡±


    She blushed even more after saying that.


    It was too corny.


    To tell the truth, she had changed a lot since she was with him. She sometimes said things that she would never in her previous life that she could not say. She didn¡¯t feel good if she did not say these things to him every day.


    ""


    She just wanted to express that she loved him.


    ¡°¡­ Okay.¡±


    The youth was still reserved, but the gentle smile in his eyes and the unsteady breathing couldn¡¯t deceive her.


    The scenery in the villa area was really good. It was suitable for vacationing.


    Zhang Man suggested going out for a walk since the weather was good. Both of them wore one of Li Wei baseball caps and walked out. It was the same style in different colors, one black and one white.


    Fortunately, the hat could be adjusted. Zhang Man snapped the deepest button in the back, so that she could wear it well.


    They looked like sweethearts.


    The villa area is very quiet compared to the noisy residential area in the center of the city. On the road, there were occasionally some young people running in the morning or old people walking their dogs. The whole community seemed very empty because the space between the houses were very large, and the houses were usually two stories high.


    The blue sky and white clouds during winter were uncommon. Zhang Man took the youth to walk along the fence of the villa area.


    Even the air was full of fresh sea water scent.


    She slept very soundly in the arms of the youth last night. It was such a fine day to get up early, and the tension she had felt for many days was relieved.


    ""


    She asked him about the villa. Although this place was remote and far from the city center, there were supermarkets, community hospitals and so on. It was convenient for the people living there.


    Zhang Man led the youth to the community hospital. She got some first aid medicine, alcohol, cotton swabs, and went to the supermarket afterwards.


    She picked out some ingredients and bought some necessary kitchen tools.


    She couldn¡¯t eat instant noodles today.


    After returning home, she first carefully applied medicine on each of the scars on the youth¡¯s arms. As she looked at it again, she was still shocked.


    At the beginning, he still resisted and refused to let her see it. In the end, he made a compromise under her angry threats.


    He clenched his teeth and extended his arm to her, but he turned his head to one side.


    It wasn¡¯t because he couldn¡¯t bear to see the wound, but because he couldn¡¯t bear to see the pain in her eyes.


    Such clear heartache made his heart feel the same.


    She carefully applied the medicinal liquid on each of his wounds. Once in a while, she sucked in some air and made a ¡°sss¡± sound, which made it seem like she was the one who was hurt. And every time she finished applying medicine to a wound, she would puff up her cheeks and gently blow for him.


    Zhang Man thought it was funny.


    She remembered that in her previous life, when she went to Chen Feier¡¯s house, her naughty son tried to do a handstand on the sofa to watch TV. However, he fell down accidentally.


    Zhang Man was also watching TV, and watched him fall. She quickly asked him if it hurt.


    The stinky boy just rubbed his head firmly and said he was okay. When he saw his mother coming out of the room, he burst into tears, and cried miserably.


    Chen Feier was so stressed that she ran to him immediately. She picked up her child and began to blow at the spots his little hands were rubbing.


    The blowing seemed to be really helpful.


    Zhang Man puffed her cheeks cutely, and blew on the wounds on the youth¡¯s arms in a criss-cross manner. She finally understood.


    Sometimes, the people you love in your heart will do stupid things.

 CH 58.1

    Zhang Man stayed with Li Wei for nearly a week. She was finally urged to go home by Zhang Huifang¡¯s fatal phone call that morning.


    Although Li Wei¡¯s villa area was luxurious and beautiful, it was far from the city center and extremely inconvenient for these two high school students who couldn¡¯t drive.


    Before Zhang Man went home, she suggested that Li Wei should move back to the apartment in the city. That way it would be convenient for her to accompany him every day.


    On the seventh day of the new year, they dragged a big suitcase and took a taxi back to the seascape.


    At the beginning of the New Year, N City always had a sunny day. The snow almost melted away in a few days. Only the corners of each street still had a bit of white snow left.


    The apartment buildings in the center of the city were indeed much busier than the villa area halfway up the mountain. People went from home to home joyfully during the annual holiday to get together with their relatives and friends who they had not seen for a long time.


    They were just going up the stairs when they met the aunt next door who was taking out the garbage. The aunt just saw them and was confused. After a while, she said hello to them with a smile. She said, ¡°Did you two make up? Young man, don¡¯t run away from home any more. The little girl was worried. She cried so much that even I was worried.¡±


    Zhang Man knocked at her door a few days ago and cried in front of her without thinking. In retrospect, it¡¯s really humiliating.


    She smiled, blushed, and hurried the youth to open the door and go into the home.


    ¡°Man Man?¡±


    He reached out and rubbed her head, then pinched her face.


    Zhang Man¡¯s lips twitched and said, ¡°It¡¯s your fault. I couldn¡¯t find you for a few days, so I always cried at your door. The aunt saw me several times¡­¡±


    The boy¡¯s hand paused.


    After a long time, he lowered his head and said seriously in her ear, ¡°¡­ I¡¯m sorry, Man Man.¡±


    Zhang Man poked him on the forehead. ¡°You don¡¯t need to be, just don¡¯t run away, boyfriend.¡±


    The boy¡¯s voice was low and serious, ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll never do it ever.¡±


    Because of Li Wei¡¯s mental illness, she accompanied him to the hospital.


    Today was the seventh day of the new year. All departments in the hospital had gone back to work. Zhang Man made an appointment online with the same doctor from before.


    This time, the youth went in for an examination honestly. Unsurprisingly, after going through an evaluation of his behavioral responses and brain scans, the doctor concluded that in addition to the paranoia diagnoses from last time, he also had moderate depression.


    Zhang Man was relieved to see that there was a conclusion.


    The situation was much better than she thought.


    Moderate depression might cause suicide, but it could be treated for the most part, and many patients would not really do anything extreme.


    Perhaps it was because she took him to see the world from the start, and his view of the world did not collapse. She had a certain effect on him. Moreover, the youth¡¯s mood had improved greatly since he saw her last night.


    The only problem was his very serious paranoia.


    The doctor suggested that Li Wei should come for psychological treatment once or twice a week instead of using drugs. Zhang Man definitely agreed.


    She knew that his disease would be a long struggle between the two of them. In the past, he took a lot of medicine, received long-term psychological treatment, and even hired a private psychologist in his previous life. However, he finally died from a meltdown due to his mental illness and depression.


    So she didn¡¯t expect him to be healed immediately.


    As long as he could control it to a certain extent, she would be happy.


    After going to the hospital, the youth sent her home.


    When they arrived at the stairs to Zhang Man¡¯s house, she held the youth¡¯s sleeve and did not not dare to go up.


    Zhang Man had this lingering fear from him saying goodbye to her here last time.


    In the end, she reluctantly went up under his promise.


    After a few days since the ¡°video crisis¡± happened, it was a bit awkward to see Zhang Huifang again.


    Zhang Man rubbed her nose, went in and poked her head into the living room.


    Sure enough, her mother was sitting on the sofa and waiting for her with an indifferent look.


    ¡°Do you still know how to come back home? I thought you were going to live with that brat.¡±


    Zhang Man immediately changed the topic.


    ¡°Mom, have you decided on a wedding date?¡±


    She remembered that she said it would be this year.


    Fortunately, Zhang Huifang didn¡¯t want to make things too difficult for her. ¡°What wedding? Uncle Xu and I are both old. We have been discussing it for a while, and we plan to invite the families and some friends to have a meal on the Lantern Festival1. Just a little get together for a little while.¡±


    Zhang Huifang sighed after speaking. ¡°Zhang Man, I only have a few friends here besides your Aunt Xu, and only you to support me there. Xu Shang¡¯s family has many relatives, so he will probably have two tables. Wouldn¡¯t the amount of guests he have be way more compared to mine?¡±


    As she spoke, her eyes lit up again. ¡°Oh, right, Zhang Man, you can also invite Feier. Also, have your little boyfriend come and support me. Feier is sweet, and not like how shy you are, so she can coax all the relatives to be nice. My reputation will be good¡­ And your little boyfriend, although he is as shy as you, he¡¯s sort of handsome. That¡¯ll be pretty valuable, they can be dazzled by him.¡±


    The more she thought about it, the more excited she became. She jumped over Zhang Man¡¯s suggestion and settled on some decisions.


    Zhang Man could only gape. ¡°¡­¡±


    Her mother¡¯s brain circuit was really strange¡ªask her best friend and boyfriend to attend her mother¡¯s wedding together?


    That image was extremely beautiful.

 CH 58.2

    The Lantern Festival came quickly.


    Early in the morning, Zhang Huifang began to get ready. Because it was not a grand wedding, she did not wear a wedding dress. Instead, she chose a snow-white off shoulder fishtail dress. She had voluptuous curly hair. Her earrings and bracelets were pearls, and she had put on light, delicate makeup. She looked elegant and dignified.


    Zhang Man leans against the door to watch her.


    After she was dressed up, Zhang Huifang called several friends and Xu Shang¡¯s relatives and friends one by one to ask them if it was convenient for them to drive to the hotel. If it was inconvenient, she arranged for someone to pick them up.


    After making those arrangements, she called the hotel again and explained everyone¡¯s food restrictions again. Because Xu Shang¡¯s mother had diabetes, she specially ordered that extremely sweet dishes should not be prepared.


    Zhang Huifang had a soft tone. With regards to N City¡¯s dialect, she was not as stiff as other people. Every couple of sentences were accompanied by an appropriate joke. Zhang Man could almost hear everyone¡¯s delight on the other side of the phone.


    There were a lot of things she could do slowly and have it done well.


    Zhang Huifang had the unique charm of a mature woman, as well as a sense of responsibility and duty.


    At this time in her previous life, she was in love with Zheng Zhi, but she did not feel this way now.


    When she was with Zheng Zhi, she looked like a little girl in sweet love. But after she was with Uncle Xu, she was much calmer, and really had the temperament of a mother at home.


    She was no longer that mom who didn¡¯t know what to do in life.


    No matter what age a person was, it probably correlated with their love.


    The love in your youth gave you infinite heartbeats and sweetness, just like Li Wei was to her. Every time she saw him, her heart would start beating wildly.


    During the middle phase, love was more like support and being there for each other. It was just like Uncle Xu and Zhang Huifang, who taught her to live her life, and have a sense of responsibility and duty.


    Before Zhang Huifang went out, she carefully took out a box from the drawer. She opened it, and put the ring on her ring finger.


    Zhang Man leaned over to see it. She was shocked and asked, ¡°It¡¯s that big?¡±


    Zhang Huifang smiled proudly and shook her finger. ¡°Well, your Uncle Xu said that if we can¡¯t have a grand wedding, then he must honor me. Look, there is also this necklace that the old lady wore when she married. Now it¡¯s passed on to me, your mom.¡±


    She asked Zhang Man to put it on her.


    This was a precious ruby necklace, inlay with small diamonds. It was very heavy and gorgeous.


    Zhang Man was speechless. How can this be a family heirloom?


    When the mother and daughter were ready, Xu Shang drove to pick them up and go to the hotel.


    Zhang Man was worried about being an embarrassment, so he asked Li Wei not to come too early. He should arrive right on the dot and then leave after dinner.


    There were only three or four tables in the private room. Zhang Huifang¡¯s side had a decent amount of people. She tried really hard to get a table full of people, and it was presentable.


    Many relatives and friends came early. They sat in the private room and gossiped. Zhang Huifang came in with a lot of energy. After a few beautiful words, she poured tea for everyone, which made everyone relaxed and comfortable.


    She saw that it was still early, and then asked a few people to play cards and talk. Like this, both sides of the wedding party could become familiar with each other.


    Zhang Man was her only daughter, so she also became the focus of everyone¡¯s attention. She was led by Zhang Huifang and addressed them as uncle, aunt, auntie¡­


    Many people gathered around her and asked her how old she was, where she went to school, what her grades were, and whether she had thought about love¡­


    Although it was a bit of a headache to do, it felt really wonderful.


    Xu Shang¡¯s family was very simple. In addition to him, there were two sisters in his family.


    When the old lady was young, she was a rich lady who came back from overseas. She opened a small reputable flower shop in N City. Every day, she drank tea and sold flowers. She lived a good life.


    According to Zhang Huifang, his father seemed to have been a professor of European history at N University, and died of illness a few years ago.


    Zhang Man first called the old lady ¡°grandma¡± sweetly. The old lady heard her and smiled from ear to ear. She pulled her aside to praise her for how cute and clever she was.


    She called Xu Shang¡¯s two sisters ¡°aunt¡±.


    One sister was fat, one was thin. The fat one looked very similar to the old lady. She looked very generous. She often told a few jokes to lighten the atmosphere. It was the slim one who had a daughter around Zhang Man¡¯s age. They were both sitting on the side playing with cell phones and did not talk very much.


    Zhang Huifang said that the Xu family didn¡¯t have a lot of members. Xu Shang¡¯s older sister, the fatter aunt, had a divorce a long time ago. She had a son who was ruled in favor of living with her ex-husband; The younger aunt only had one daughter.


    So most of the people who came today were cousins and aunts and uncles who are a generation apart. Their children were not much older than her, and they chatted a lot.


    Zhang Man was being teased by some of the relatives and didn¡¯t know how to answer. Chen Feier came in just in time. She winked at her, and immediately joined the group of women to chat with a lot of enthusiasm.


    She was the best at talking. Soon, relatives and friends wanted to talk to Feier everywhere. Even Zhang Man, the daughter of the bride, had no time to talk to her. Zhang Man let out her breath and was just relieved.


    It was time for dinner just as things were getting livelier.


    Xu Shang looked at his watch, went to pat Zhang Huifang¡¯s hair, and asked, ¡°Xiao Fang, is your friend almost here? Why don¡¯t you let the chef serve the food?¡±


    Zhang Huifang was watching someone play cards when she said without thinking, ¡°Man Man¡¯s boyfriend hasn¡¯t come yet.¡±


    Her voice was loud. A lot of people sitting beside her heard her. There was silence in the private room.


    The second aunt, who was playing with her cell phone, curled her mouth and pulled her daughter¡¯s sleeve.


    Her daughter went to the best high school in the neighboring city. She was obedient and hardworking. She never played with the rebellious classmates, and her grades were very good.


    ¡°Tsk tsk. Man Man is probably a few months younger than you and she¡¯s already fallen in love. Don¡¯t learn from her. The right way is to study hard. Do you hear me?¡±


    The little girl had been lectured by her mother every day, so she was used to it and nodded obediently.


    Just then, the box to the private room was pushed open. A boy in black came in wearing a baseball cap. He walked up to Zhang Huifang and smiled apologetically at her.


    ¡°Auntie, I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m late.¡±


    There was silence in the box.


    This handsome boy¡­ was too handsome. He was so handsome that no one could look away. Especially some of the young girls, who were unable to restrain their excitement. They glanced at Zhang Huifang from time to time.


    Wow, he¡¯s so cool when he¡¯s not smiling. He¡¯s so good looking when he¡¯s smiling. It¡¯s like there are stars in his eyes.


    Who is he?


    This is not the boyfriend of Zhang Man, is it?


    As the youth spoke, he took two gifts out from the gift bag he was holding. He gave them to Zhang Huifang and Xu Shang and wished them a happy wedding.


    There was silence again in the private room, and then there was a sound of air conditioning.


    Two Cartier watches¡­ It should add up to more than 100,000 yuan.


    The second aunt stopped playing with her cell phone. She turned her face and looked at her daughter kindly.


    ¡°Oh, Nannan, if studying is too hard, you can find a puppy love to make it easier. It¡¯s not a big deal.¡±

 CH 59.1

    After Li Wei gave the couple the gifts, he went straight to Zhang Man. Zhang Man immediately picked up her bag from the empty seat beside her, which was originally reserved for him.


    She looked at the old lady awkwardly.


    She had never been an extroverted person, and she couldn¡¯t figure out how to be social. I should ask him to greet her. She felt a little strange about it. She was a few seats away from the elders and she was between them.


    If he doesn¡¯t greet her, then that¡¯s weird¡­ After all, Zhang Huifang had just said that this was her boyfriend.


    Li Wei probably just asked Zhang Huifang who the people around the table were. He stood up on his own, and without consulting with her, he went to say hello grandma, and greeted the two aunts and some of the uncles.


    His smile was gentle and proper.


    Zhang Man was shocked.


    Today, he carefully shaved himself and dressed well. He was smiling since he came in. He was like a decent, polite and educated upbeat youth.


    No one could tell that he was diagnosed with moderate depression a few days ago.


    She didn¡¯t even know about how he made careful preparations for this.


    In fact, when she told him when he should come in, she didn¡¯t tell him much. Zhang Man felt very helpless in making everything workout for Zhang Huifang.


    She just didn¡¯t expect him to take it so seriously.


    Zhang Man knows that he probably wants to make a good impression on her ¡°new family¡± so that she won¡¯t feel out of place in the new family.


    Her heart was touched, and her hand under the table gently grasped the youth¡¯s clothes.


    It was not an intimate action, but it was a close one.


    He was such a lonely and introverted person. He always learned ways to adjust himself for her.


    The old lady listened to the words ¡°grandma¡± and her eyes narrowed with a smile. She stood up swiftly, and changed from her seat two chairs away to their side.


    The old lady took two thick red envelopes out of her pocket and gave one to each of them.


    Zhang Man opened her mouth. She didn¡¯t expect the old lady to give her a red envelope, and she also gave one to him.


    While she was still in a daze, Li Wei reached out and took the red envelope. He put one of them in her hands. He patted her head and said, ¡°Man Man, why are you daydreaming? Shouldn¡¯t you thank grandma?¡±


    Zhang Man said thank you in a daze and saw the old lady wink at them.


    ¡°Man Man, is this young man your third peace charm?¡±


    ""


    After listening to her words, Zhang Man was shocked for a long time before she could think of a response. She was talking about the three peace charms she gave to Zhang Huifang. There were originally only two, but Uncle Xu thought of Li Wei and asked his mother for one more.


    Old people at this age were powerful.


    Zhang Man smiled and nodded, a little embarrassed.


    The old lady was very happy.


    Man Man was such a child. The old lady could see immediately that she did not take the initiative and had an introverted personality. But like her mother, she was truly kind.


    She had loved children all her life, but her grandchildren were very thin. Her youngest son did not have any children until now. Her eldest daughter had a son who stayed with her ex-husband, and he hardly returned. The second daughter had a daughter, but she had been living with her son-in-law in the neighboring city for all these years, and she was not very close to her.


    She thought this was the case with her son and grandchild.


    Who knew that at this old age, her son made her proud and married a beautiful and generous daughter-in-law. She suddenly had a half-grown grandchild. She was so smart, charming, polite, and knew how to behave.


    In fact, Zhang Man was still a little embarrassed. She originally wanted Li Wei to come to add to the table head count and she was going to say that he was her classmate.


    Who knew her mother would be dumb and say it in a loud voice.


    She had been a high school teacher in her previous life, and also worked as the head teacher for a while. The most common problem she had to discuss with the parents, aside from their child¡¯s grades, was puppy love¡­ She knew that most parents hate puppy love.


    However, despite feeling embarrassed, she and Li Wei were not just puppy love.


    In the future, they would go to college, marry and have children together. Since they were all family, they would meet sooner or later.


    The old lady guessed that Zhang Man was embarrassed when she saw the stiff smile on her face.


    Old people, after living for so long, might not have to attend to the guests like young people, but she always had her own way to express kindness


    She went to hold Zhang Man¡¯s hand. She tugged at her hand and asked, ¡°Man Man, introduce him to grandma.¡±

 CH 59.2

    ¡°Er¡­ Grandma, he is Li Wei. He is my class¡­ boyfriend.¡±


    The old lady laughed as soon as she heard her awkward speech. The wrinkles on her face became more and more prominent because of the smile. She suddenly felt more radiant.


    She looked at Zhang Man, then at Li Wei, and said with a smile, ¡°These two children are really good. They are childhood sweethearts. They are so young and innocent. A perfect match.¡±


    ¡°Your grandpa and I were together at around sixteen or seventeen years old. We met when we were studying in London. At that time, I had just arrived and my English was not good. I couldn¡¯t become friends with any of the other foreign students. During the reception, everyone was talking and dancing. I was so panicked that I hid on the balcony and cried alone. Your grandpa was famous for being social in the school. After drinking a round, he came out from the reception hall to breathe, and saw me here alone. Without saying anything, he handed me his handkerchief.¡±


    When the old lady said this, she could not hide her gentle smile.


    ¡°At that time, I really felt that he was like a god. Later, your grandpa accompanied me to practice English every day and he explained the European history that he was studying. He repeated it until I could repeat it back.¡±


    ¡°Oh how time flies! More than 50 years passed by in a flash. We grew old together. Unexpectedly, the old man left first.¡±


    She meant to try and lessen Zhang Man¡¯s embarrassment, but to be honest, she ended up becoming sentimental.


    At this age, life and death, cycles of ups and downs, after every turn of life to the present, the tears cried when the past was thought of were not sad tears.


    Just looking at this young couple, the old lady suddenly remembered the past, when she was full of energy and her heart was pounding for that young man.


    Zhang Man looked at the old lady and was stunned by her words.


    From a young couple to old partners.


    When she thought of it, she felt heartache, warmth and upset. In her mind, she could see Li Wei¡¯s handsomeness in his youth. In the next second, he was in a suit when he attended an international academic conference. And¡­ how he looked before his death.


    She knew how he looked in his youth, but she couldn¡¯t figure out what he would look like when he was a grandpa. Would he be like an ordinary grandpa, with more than half of his hair white, many wrinkles on the corners of his eyes, and age spots?


    Would he be like now, calm and reserved, but had a gentle light in his eyes when he looked into her eyes?


    Zhang Man looked back and looked at the faint yearning in the old lady¡¯s eyes. It made her feel a little upset. She was also not very talkative, and patted the old lady¡¯s hand reassuringly.


    But from another perspective, a big stone fell in her heart.


    Zhang Huifang was really lucky in this life. She was honest and not very sensitive. She didn¡¯t care about offending other people. Although the old lady had delicate thoughts, she looked like a tolerant and understanding person.


    As the banquet was booked from noon to the evening, no one left after dinner. The adults stayed in the private room to chat and brag. Without being stopped, the younger generation went into the small private room next door. They moved two square tables there and played mahjong.


    Zhang Man knew how to play mahjong, but she was far from proficient.


    Among the young people, aside from Li Wei, there were exactly seven people. There were two tables and one more player was needed. Thus, several female cousins tapped on Li Wei¡¯s shoulder and asked him to play a game.


    That table ended up with Zhang Man, Chen Feier, Li Wei and one of the older female cousins.


    This cousin was four years older than them, and she was studying at a university in Z City.


    How could Li Wei play mahjong? Fortunately, Chen Feier was a master. She taught him the rules as they played the first few rounds, and he soon learned.


    The hotel didn¡¯t have automatic mahjong machines. Everyone had to stack their tiles manually. Young people were used to playing and stacking tiles quickly. Chen Feier and the cousin¡¯s speed almost dazzled them.


    Zhang Man and Li Wei looked like they were flustered.


    She secretly looked up at him. The youth¡¯s jaw was tight. In order to keep up with everyone¡¯s rhythm, his slender hands quickly and carefully stacked the mahjong tiles.


    ¡ªEach time, they stacked 18 tiles on top of another 18 tiles.


    When he finished stacking, he didn¡¯t forget to help Zhang Man. It was as if he was afraid that Chen Feier would shun her for being slow again.


    Zhang Man thought it was a little funny.


    It was even more interesting when they played. He shouted ¡°chow¡±, ¡°pong¡±, ¡°kong¡±, or ¡°win¡±1 a little more seriously than the others. It was like the mahjong tile in front of him was an honorable object and needed to be treated thoughtfully.


    Zhang Man suddenly felt that he should explore more of himself in the future. He used to only do things alone. Outside of studying and sleeping, he didn¡¯t even have a cell phone, let alone socializing. He lived too monotonously and did not try many things. She would have to try new things one by one with him in the future.


    ¡°¡­ Man Man, can you stop staring at your boyfriend all the time? I just said pong, so let go of that tile in your hand¡­¡±


    Chen Feier was so annoyed that she wasn¡¯t letting go of that tile. She then picked up the one that her cousin had just thrown out on the table, paired it with her two tiles and threw out a new tile to the table.


    Zhang Man looked embarrassed and put back the tile she had just grabbed.


    Unexpectedly, the youth also expressed his opinion.


    He chuckled low and deep. He tidied up the tiles with his right hand, and patted Zhan Man¡¯s head with his left hand.


    ¡°Man Man, concentrate on the game. If you always look at me, I can¡¯t play well.¡±


    Zhang Man was worried. She grabbed his hand and patted at the back of it. ¡°You can¡¯t blame me if you don¡¯t play well.¡±


    Chen Feier was not used to the amount of affection they were showing. She just rolled her eyes, while Zhang Man¡¯s cousin, who has been single for many years, swallowed her saliva quietly.


    On the outside, she had to maintain the image of being the older cousin. However, she was already howling on the inside several times.


    Sh**! Damn!


    The boy is too f***ing handsome. He just touched her head so gently¡­ wuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu.


    Are high school students this flirty now?


    And my new younger cousin, who I thought was beautiful and cold when I first met her, how could she turn into a white rabbit in front of this boy? How is there so much love in her eyes when she looks at him?


    ???


    How is it possible?


    Why did I watch two high school students fall in love and my aunt smile about it?


    No way! Zhang Man¡¯s cousin coughed twice. She decided that she had to bring out her older cousin aura and use the dreaded college entrance exam to cause some alarm for these two high school kids.


    I can¡¯t be abused with dog food for no reason!


    ¡°Man Man, are you a first year student now? Do you have a university you are aiming for? Do you two plan on going to the same university?¡±


    Before Zhang Man could answer, Chen Feier threw out the tile confidently and said for her, ¡°North Wind! Yes, they are going to B University together.¡±


    ¡°?????¡±


    B¡­ B University?


    The cousin who just wanted to cause some trouble for these two high school students about college swallowed her saliva again.


    Oh, sorry to bother.

 CH 60.1

    After the meal, Zhang Huifang had to take care of seeing the guests out. Zhang Man said goodbye to Uncle Xu and she brought Li Wei and Chen Feier out of the hotel.


    Chen Feier didn¡¯t want to watch them show off their affection at all, so she quickly went on the bus and left.


    Zhang Man took the youth¡¯s hand, and they followed the path next to the hotel. They were planning on going on a walk first.


    Today was the Lantern Festival. It was very busy outside. They could see the exploding fireworks and the paper lanterns flying in the sky.


    The tall sycamore trees on both sides of the road had already lost their leaves. They looked bare, and they probably had to wait for the weather to get warmer before new leaves grow


    Zhang Man pulled at the youth¡¯s sleeve.


    ¡°Boyfriend, you had dinner today, played mahjong, and received red envelopes. Are you happy?¡±


    Since he began to receive psychological treatment, asking him whether he was happy or not had become a daily essential task for her.


    She made an agreement with him beforehand. Happy meant happy, unhappy meant unhappy. He wasn¡¯t allowed to lie to her.


    The youth nodded very honestly.


    ¡°I am very happy today, especially because¡­¡±


    As he spoke, led her past a street lamp, and suddenly lowered his head and kissed her.


    A light kiss landed on her lips, and it left the moment it made contact.


    After the kiss, he looked at her with glistening eyes. It was affectionate and gentle, and had nothing to hide.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart was pounding.


    She thought he was going to say something affectionate, but the boy smiled.


    ¡°I received a red envelope.¡±


    Zhang Man hammered him with annoyance, but he pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply.


    ¡ªTruthfully, sometimes, it was very discouraging.


    That kind of depression was uncontrollable. For example, until now, he couldn¡¯t taste anything when he ate, and he didn¡¯t have any interest in many things.


    Fortunately, loving her was enough happiness.


    As long as he thought of her, he would want to summon up courage to do a lot of things, and find the energy to bring out happiness from all the unhappiness inside.


    The two young lovers were slowly walking around. Meanwhile, Zhang Huifang saw off the last guest. She was so tired that she was sitting in the car and rubbing her calves with a groan.


    They clearly said that they would not accept any money gifts at the banquet today, but the Xu family was truly a respectable family . They did not give money, but prepared expensive gifts instead.


    Of course, the most expensive gift was a pair of watches from Li Wei. When Xu Shang took them, he was still a little speechless.


    ¡ªThis smelly boy. He is trying to out class the diamond ring I bought for Zhang Huifang.


    Xu Shang put all the gifts in the trunk and locked it. He opened the door and sat in the driver¡¯s seat. Then, he rubbed his wife¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°Xiao Fang, what do you think of Li Wei¡¯s valuable gift? What should we give back in return? It¡¯s not good to give luxury goods to a teenager. I thought about it for a while and couldn¡¯t think of any suitable gifts.¡±


    Zhang Huifang looked at him strangely and raised an eyebrow.


    ¡°I think you are being stupid and you are overthinking it. Me give him a return gift? He has abducted my daughter, so why do I have to give him a gift back? Hmph¡­¡±


    She was really thinking of that last video call that made her drop her half eaten dumpling. Zhang Huifang¡¯s cold hmph was coming out stronger.


    She heard that this smelly boy still had some mental illnesses and could not be beaten or scolded. Zhang Huifang swallowed her anger. He wants us to give him a return gift?


    Let him spend that money. What¡¯s wrong with that?


    Xu Shang rubbed her shoulder and laughed as he said, ¡°Do you really hate him? Why did you let him come today?¡±


    Zhang Huifang let out a snort. ¡°It¡¯s not because I¡¯m short of people, a gathering was happening. That¡¯s all.¡±


    Xu Shang shook his head and said, ¡°You never tell the truth.¡±


    The Lantern Festival was not the reason why she wanted to ask him to have a meal with them.


    It was a holiday. It was too lonely for a child to be alone. The more people there were, the merrier it was.


    ¡­


    After the Lantern Festival, high school students were forced to return to school immediately.


    In fact, the first year students were really happy. The second and the third year students couldn¡¯t celebrate the Lantern Festival. The third year students had to go back to school on the eighth day of the year.


    Li Wei was originally taking a leave of absence from school this semester, but Zhang Man thought that he would be too lonely at home alone. Thus, she had a discussion with him about returning to school and going to the hospital for therapy two days a week.


    In any case, the course load was not intense.


    With this schedule, she could spend more time with him every day.


    Zhang Man¡¯s physics score in the final exam of last semester was really great. Since Li Wei missed the exam, she took first place in the class. As soon as school started, the head teacher went to find her and asked her if she had any intention of going to the physics competition later.


    Zhang Man quickly nodded and agreed.

 CH 60.2

    The head teacher selected the top ten students in the class and asked them if they wanted to participate in the competition. Seven of them were more comprehensive in their learning and did not plan to take part in the competition. If they failed to win the prize, then they would be delaying the achievements of their other subjects. The positives did not make up for the negatives. Thus, they said that they would only take part in the competition examination, and would focus on the college entrance examination. The other three, including Zhang Man, all had their strengths in physics, so they decided to do the competition.


    Li Wei was the fourth student and an exception. He wanted to be a part of the competition. Of course, Liu Zhijun wholeheartedly agreed.


    The competition among the top tier high schools was very systematic.


    The training period for competitions started earlier than other schools, especially for the physics and mathematics competitions. Every evening there was self-study for the first year students in the second semester. It was going to be used for tutoring on the competition subjects and there would also be special teachers to guide the competition students.


    After that, in the first semester of the second year, the school would let them participate in the preliminary competition early on to do a trial run.


    Most people were unlikely to win a prize in their second year of high school, so they were just accumulating experience.


    However, Zhang Man was not going to follow that plan. In their previous lives, Li Wei won a gold medal in the national finals during the second year of high school and a recommendation for acceptance into B University. She must not fall behind. It was hard to stay together. If she didn¡¯t get a recommendation, she might have to go to another university for a year and she didn¡¯t want to.


    So ,Zhang Man set up a big goal for herself on the first day of school. She must study really hard this semester. Even if she was not the smartest student, and she didn¡¯t know much about the competition, she had been teaching physics in high school for many many years. She had a lot of problem-solving experience and good intuition on the subject.


    What¡¯s more, she still had Li Wei as her advantage.


    During the hard-working high school years, the other students were without a doubt, envious of the competition students at the very beginning.


    There was no need for the competition students to participate in the boring evening self-study in the classroom. All the teachers would also just give them a pass on their homework. Some liberal arts classes would also turn them away to go to the small black room next to the teacher¡¯s floor to brush up on competition questions.


    This kind of treatment really provoked envy.


    However, those who were true competition participants did not feel relaxed. It really required desperate courage and very clear discipline to be a part of the competitions.


    If they failed, then it was like dying. If they failed to win a prize in the competition, they would not be able to participate in the finals, nor would they have the qualification to increase their chances of getting into a university. It would delay their studies. Even if most of them went back to take the college entrance exams later, it would not make much difference.


    And because of how the competitions were different from the school¡¯s regular education system, those participating in high school really required  a lot of self-control. Every day, they had to learn information that a person only learned during college. There were so many theorems, formulas, and endless problems¡­


    All these things required discipline, and very strong motivation.


    That¡¯s why most people who have the courage to join the competition must have a deep love for the subject.


    The black competition room was a place where they were crazy about the subject they love.


    After several days of testing, there were eleven people in the competition class. In addition to four students from Class 1, there are seven students from the other experimental class and the ordinary class.


    Several students studied by themselves that night. Liu Zhijun, who was responsible for coordinating the competition class, took them to the black room and everyone met each other. After that, they had to get along for a few years.


    Some of the students studying physics were not against Li Wei as much as other students.


    People always worshiped and revered the strong in the same field.


    No matter how crazy or unsociable he was, Li Wei was also a physics boss! The boss was not an ordinary person. If he is ordinary, how could he be the boss?


    Everytime he took a physics exam, he got close to full marks. But that¡¯s not the main point. The main point was, he didn¡¯t pay attention to high school level physics, okay? People from Class 1 said that he had learned quantum mechanics and Einstein¡¯s theory of relativity by himself. Now, he was studying quantum field theory and group theory, as well as the latest academic papers.


    He was like a proper college junior majoring in physics at B University, and he was excellent.


    What qualifications did they have to discriminate against a boss?


    So their lack of enthusiasm for Li Wei was not because of exclusion, but because of how they trembled in front of the aloof boss.


    Among the eleven people, there was one other girl besides Zhang Man. She was called Qi Lele, a girl in the ordinary class. Her general grades were worse than Zhang Man¡¯s, but she was great in physics.


    Qi Lele¡¯s name sounded sweet, but she was not a very sweet person. She was about the same height as Zhang Man, but her body size was 1.5 times that of Zhang Man. She wore thick glasses and was very introverted. As soon as she entered the small black room, she looked for a seat to sit down and start answering the question.


    The other nine were all boys. This ratio of male and female was very normal.


    There were two boys from Class 1. One of them sat in front of Zhang Man, Jin Ming, and the other the physics representative, Xu Haosi. They were all from the same class and they were very familiar with each other, but they didn¡¯t say anything to each other. On the other hand, a few boys from other classes went up to chat with Zhang Man as soon as she entered.


    Their main objective was to ask for her number.


    After all, she was the little miss school flower. She received a lot of attention everywhere she went. It was not easy to have a chance to study with her in the small black room, so maybe sparks would fly when they studied together.


    Jin Ming glanced at some of the boys who were ready to move, and then at Li Wei. A light flashed in his small eyes.


    ""


    Sitting in the front row for the semester was really not for nothing. Although the back of his head didn¡¯t have eyes, it didn¡¯t prevent him from hearing a few whispers¡­ that made his teeth ache.


    Chen Jun, the physics class representative of Class 2, was being encouraged by his peers. He took out his cell phone with a smile. He wanted the little miss school flower to give him her  phone number.


    After handing the cell phone to her, he suddenly felt a chill down his back.


    It made the ends of his hair stand up.


    When he turned around, he saw that the boss was leaning against the window. He was holding a binder of English papers in his hand, and looking coldly at him with a blank expression.


    Chen Jun suddenly felt his hands tremble a bit.


    It was like what he had heard,  Li Wei was chasing School Flower Zhang.


    He shook his head and decided to ignore the boss¡¯s subtle look and continued to chat with the little miss.


    ¡°Zhang Man, please put in your cell phone number. What do you want to do together in the future?¡±


    ¡°Sorry, I don¡¯t have a cell phone number.¡±


    Goddess Zhang turned him down coldly with an iceberg face.


    Chen Jun: ¡°¡­¡±


    Others: ¡°¡­¡±


    So, is that cell phone on your desk just a talisman?!


    Nobody noticed that the youth leaning against the window suddenly lowered his head. His lips curved as he slowly turned a page.

 CH 61.1

    The competition life for the first year students was in full swing.


    Li Wei had to go to the hospital for psychological treatment on Wednesday and Saturday mornings. Zhang Man could only accompany him on Saturday.


    During the rest of the week, both of them and the students in the small physics competition team had regular classes during the day and received competition training every night.


    Of course, people in the general political history and geography classes would also skip and go to the small black room to brush up on questions together.


    Truthfully, Li Wei did not receive any competition training from the school in his previous life, and it was unnecessary for him.


    But now that Zhang Man was there, he followed.


    Liu Zhijun had assigned seats for the eleven students. He did it in a way where the only two girls, Zhang Man and Qi Lele, became deskmates.


    The other eight students were at the other desks in pairs. Meanwhile, Li Wei was arranged to sit by the window alone.


    The competition training in the black room was, without a doubt, very hard. It was very difficult for the students who just had some basic knowledge in mechanics and kinematics to learn new and difficult topics.


    Therefore, the courses for the competition classes in previous years were generally arranged from the easiest to hardest. That way, every student could keep up with the progress as much as possible and not fall behind.


    ""


    The physical competition coach hired by the school left. So, the school found a new teacher for them. He was called Lin Pingzheng. He was very young and graduated from B University in physics. They heard that when he was in high school he also did the physics competition, and won the gold medal that year.


    At the beginning, of course, everyone admired this new teacher very much. He won the national gold medal in physics and graduated from B University¡¯s Department of Physics. For these young people who were excited, he was their example of success.


    However, Lin Pingzheng¡¯s curriculum was very unreasonable from the start and didn¡¯t consider the students¡¯ learning abilities. At the beginning of the first class, the students who did not fully learn about mechanical analysis yet were forced to learn a series of core concepts, such as rigid body, inertia, torque, angular momentum, etc.


    Aside from Zhang Man and Li Wei, the other nine people in the class were all completely dumbfounded. After one class, they all had deep doubts about their existence.


    Lin Pingzheng had just finished his class. He looked down at the pale students, and he made a slight snort. He raised his hand and pushed his thick glasses back. He picked up a copy of the physics exam scores from the first semester from the table.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if there is a problem with the way your school selects its competition students, but I don¡¯t think it is very rational to select you after only one exam. Several students still need to study more on this subject, especially those students who have performed at a mediocre or even extremely poor level in the previous exams, and yet they suddenly jumped to the top of the exam score list in the last one or two exams. I won¡¯t point out any names, but the competition is not a joke. Luck cannot be relied on.¡±


    Zhang Man was embarrassed when she heard this. Fortunately, the other students didn¡¯t look like they were looking at her.


    The person the teacher was talking about was her¡­ At the beginning of last semester, her physics score was barely passable, and then slowly floated up to the passing line. During the last two or three weekly and monthly exams, as well as the final selection exams, she began to rise.


    After talking about this individual, Lin Pingzheng began to talk about everyone else.


    ¡°The number of students admitted to your high school is not good, and the quality of teaching is also average. I have looked through the competition course material from your school in the past few years, and I can only say that the results are very so-so. Although it is better than several of the neighboring small cities, it is still far from the national competition level.¡±


    After he said that, he packed up his things and left without looking at them.


    After listening to his speech, the students¡¯ confidence took a hit and their eyes were slightly angry.


    They were still teenagers. Even if their school was lacking, they couldn¡¯t tolerate what he said. Chen Jun, who had a brash personality, stood up to argue with him, but was pushed down by Deng Nian, who sat behind him.


    This was the first day. It was not good to have any conflicts.


    But everyone was a little annoyed and couldn¡¯t let that feeling go.


    Although their high school was the best high school in their city, it was not famous in the province. The admission rate to key colleges from the annual college entrance exams was also average. Lin Pingzheng was the best senior high school student in the province, and he graduated from B University for physics. It was normal for him to look down on their high school.


    But every word he said revealed a strong sense of superiority, which was a little uncomfortable and discouraging.

 CH 61.2

    Zhang Man pouted a little unhappily.


    Unlike the practical courses, basic physics research had a high standard and required years of study.


    For those who were really engaged in physics research, whether it was condensed matter, particle physics or quantum physics, they needed more than a masters degree. A doctoral degree must be studied. If Lin Pingzheng went on to become a competition teacher after graduation from college, then he probably did not do well in the Department of Physics in B University.


    Perhaps the national gold medal he won was his peak.


    Zhang Man had been a physics teacher for more than ten years in her previous life. Although she was not able to lead the competition, she had met at least ten physics competition coaches. Some of them were senior physics professors in the university, and they were hired to teach once or twice during the training.


    The higher the qualifications, the more modest and introverted the person was.


    They were not like Lin Pingzheng, who was not very good at teaching and had a bad temper. He already intimidated them in the first class.


    She didn¡¯t participate in the physics competition in her previous life. She was not familiar with how it went. She didn¡¯t even know who the school competition teacher was. She didn¡¯t expect the teacher to be so disappointing.


    The youth never listened during the class and only looked at his own paper. When he was tired, he turned his head to look at Zhang Man. At this moment, he saw her pouting and frowning unhappily. He naturally wanted to hold her hand.


    He didn¡¯t realize it until he reached out to her. They were not at the same desk now.


    ¡ªThere was a two-person distance between them in the aisle.


    He withdrew his hand, lowered his head, and pouted in displeasure.


    ¡­


    After more than a month of struggling through the competition training, Lin Pingzheng¡¯s attitude became worse and worse. He often asked the classmates to go to the blackboard to answer questions after they had finished the new lesson.


    He never called on Li Wei. Instead, he always called on Zhang Man and the other ¡°weak¡± students. Fortunately, Zhang Man had studied rigid body mechanics for the last part of last semester, so most of the time she could follow what was happening, but several other students couldn¡¯t.


    Especially Qi Lele, whose foundation was not very good. Every time she couldn¡¯t solve a problem on the board, she was ridiculed by Lin Pingzheng. After that, she would put her head down on the table and become moody.


    Zhang Man could only pat her on the shoulder to comfort her.


    She sighed in her mind.


    Like this, the students¡¯ enthusiasm and self-confidence would soon be destroyed.


    Everyone in the competition class was very angry. They privately reported everything to Liu Zhijun, who then quickly discussed it with the schools¡¯ academic board, but did not get a valid reply. They only said that Lin Pingzheng was a very experienced and powerful competition coach, and told them not to be biased against him.


    N City was a small city, and their high school was not a major school.  The former competition coach left suddenly, and it was not easy to invite Lin Pingzheng in such a short time.


    Everyone had to give up.


    At noon that day, the ¡°Three Handsome Men¡± of the competition class, Chen Jun, Deng Nian and Cao Zhixue, started to diss Coach Lin again in the black room.


    Of course, the ¡°Three Handsome Men¡± was a nickname given to them by themselves.


    Cao Zhixue was in the ordinary class. Apart from physics, he was awful in the other classes. He was always fooling around. Anyway, he was not ¡°Zhixue¡±1 at all. ¡°Do you guys see how Lin Pingzheng walks weirdly every day? His eyes are blank, and his dark circles are so bad. I bet you he has been watching too many ¡®movies¡¯2at night¡­¡±


    Chen Jun wanted to agree, but suddenly saw Zhang Man entering the classroom. He coughed and exaggerated, ¡°Wow, Cao Zhixue, aren¡¯t you too dirty? My pure little heart has been stained. It¡¯s really shameful to be your classmate.¡±


    When Cao Zhixue heard his disgusted tone, he was confused. He turned his head to look at the direction he had glanced at, and knew that he had dug a hole for himself.


    The fool didn¡¯t warn him when he saw Goddess Zhang coming in.


    He took a quick glance at Zhang Man and loudly exclaimed, ¡°How is it dirty? People with impure hearts will think anything they listen to is dirty. I just think that Teacher Lin might prefer watching movies like ¡°To Live¡±3, which is an excellent movie that criticizes society.¡±


    Chen Jun: ¡°¡­¡±


    You are cruel.


    Deng Nian was more quickwitted. He pretended like he did not see Zhang Man come in and boasted about the goddess. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me more, Lin Pingzheng was definitely miserable when he was participating in the competition. Now he graduated and he¡¯s taking revenge on society. We have to go to the blackboard every day to answer questions. We are not as smart as Zhang Man since we get scolded every day.¡±


    Qi Lele and Jin Ming, who were behind them practicing questions and listening to them talk: ¡°¡­¡±

 CH 61.3

    That rainbow fart1 was too much, right?


    They were pretty much the ¡°Three Foolish Men¡± of the competition class.


    After their performance, the three foolish men began to make plans to go to a restaurant outside for lunch to give their brains some nutrients. They asked Zhang Man whether she wanted to go.


    Zhang Man declined. The Three Foolish Men were a little disappointed, but they didn¡¯t say anything, and walked away shoulder to shoulder.


    She opened the book, and practiced questions on the topic that Lin Pingzheng had laid out yesterday. She waited for Li Wei to come back to the classroom.


    He went to his psychological treatment alone this Wednesday morning.


    Every time he went to  psychological treatment, he would spend the night before in a relatively silent state of depression.


    This was also the time when Zhang Manwei could see his depression clearly. Usually, he suppressed it when he was with her and he would smile at her affectionately. She hardly saw him unhappy.


    There was only one time where he basically spoke very little.


    Zhang Man was extremely worried, and she couldn¡¯t help it.


    This was unavoidable. To treat a mental illness, a person needs to break free from their piled up emotions in their heart and then clear the way for a path forward. This kind of behavior was equivalent to cutting the rotten parts of a wound with a knife. While treating the disease, it was going to hurt first.


    Everyone went to lunch. There was no one else in the small classroom.


    After Zhang Man finished half a test paper, she saw the youth come in from the back door of the classroom. She happily welcomed him and pulled him to a seat, while she sat in the empty seat next to him.


    ¡°Boyfriend, did you make any progress today?¡±


    Every time he finishes psychological treatment, the doctor could give him a psychological evaluation.


    The youth looked at her. Her eyes were glistening the same way when she asked the same question last week.


    He nodded.


    Knowing that he didn¡¯t want to talk, Zhang Man stopped bothering him. She held his hand under the desk and gently stroked his palm.


    She was letting him feel her presence.


    She accompanied him for a while. She poured a glass of water and put it in front of him.


    ¡°Boyfriend, can you take your medicine today?¡±


    The doctor prescribed him antidepressants last time, but he never liked them.


    As expected, the youth shook his head. He put his head on the desk, and said nothing.


    His eyes were full of exhaustion and indifferent. His overall demeanor was a little sad.


    Zhang Man¡¯s heart ached.


    Every time he was like that, she really ached.


    She bit her lip and looked around. There was no one around


    She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. She got closer to his ear and whispered, ¡°Be good. How about a kiss as a reward after eating your medicine?¡±


    This move was still very effective.


    The youth looked up. He took out a white pill with his long and clean fingers. He put it in his mouth, drank water and swallowed it.


    When he looked up and drank water, from his forehead, nose bridge, and lips to his neck, the smooth outline of his features made Zhang Man swallow her saliva.


    His profile was breathtaking¡ªno matter how many times she looked at him, she could feel her heart always beating faster.


    After taking the medicine, the youth put the cup down and turned to look at her.


    His eyes were dark and the desire in them could not be any clearer.


    Zhang Man grabbed his sleeve and bit her lips.


    They were still in a classroom. Even if no one was around, it was still¡­


    Zhang Man could not stop blushing. She had to fulfill her promise. She clenched her teeth and kissed him. As soon as she touched the youth¡¯s soft lips, she heard a clear noise from the classroom door.


    She opened her eyes and saw one of the Three Foolish Men of the competition class: Deng Nian. He was staring at them with his mouth covered. The swaying keys in his hand fell to the ground.


    Deng Nian: ¡°???¡±


    Mommy, what did I just see? Wuwuwu the goddess was captured¡­ No, the goddess captured someone else¡­ Wuwuwu mommy, I want to go home¡­


    Zhang Man was still kissing the youth when she looked at Deng Nian for a second. Her brains were numb and her face was flushed with embarrassment.


    She immediately released the youth and covered her head on the table as she held her breath.


    She really shouldn¡¯t have done naughty things in the classroom. It¡¯s too embarrassing¡­ Can she just disappear?


    Deng Nian was so shocked that his hands were shaking. He ended up seeing the boss gently touching the goddess¡¯s long hair and trying to comfort her, while turning his head and coldly looking at him.


    The look in his eyes was really dreadful. It was a death stare. He was so scared that he got goosebumps.


    Deng Nian swallowed and retreated a step back.


    *Cough* ¡°Go on, go on, I didn¡¯t see anything¡­¡±


    After saying that, he picked up the key with his trembling hands. Tears of heartbreak swelled in his eyes. He turned around and walked out strongly.

 CH 62.1

    Another two weeks passed by.


    The beginning of April in N City was the best time of the year.


    The uniformly planted weeping willows by the Shuangcheng River have grown young green leaves. Around each of the willow trees were golden dazzling winter jasmine in full bloom on the lower branches.


    The fierce red rose in the small school garden was even more attractive.


    Spring was completely different from winter. Whether it was rainy or windy, it had a gentle and soft feeling.


    Today there was continuous light rain. The spring breeze was slightly cold. Zhang Man and Chen Feier went into the building after eating together. They closed the transparent umbrellas, and gently shook off the droplets of water on the umbrellas.


    Zhang Man went up to the second floor and saw several students walking out of the small black room with their arms around each other¡¯s shoulders. They were winking at each other and making up jokes. When they saw her coming, each of them said hello to her.


    Zhang Man waved and returned a greeting with a smile to them.


    After nearly two months of being in the same competition team, the relationship between the eleven students was getting better and better.


    People who participated in competitions were generally simple people. They threw all their efforts into the competition and did not think much of anything else.


    ""


    Everyone was in the most zealous and struggling moment of their lives. When they met a group of people with the same goals and aspirations as them, it could always arouse their deepest passions and dreams.


    They would play jokes on each other, stay up late to answer questions together, and talk enthusiastically about the universe, black holes, space-time, and stars. They would also diss Lin Pingzheng together.


    In a small group that was about the size of 11 people, each person¡¯s personality was very different, but they all got along very well. The Three Foolish Men of the physics team were responsible for making jokes and acting like the class clown every day. Jin Ming sat in the back of the classroom and was responsible for watching over everyone as they chatted and played around. Although Qi Lele was quiet, she would smile with her eyes happily and reveal two dimples when everyone was joking¡­


    Everyone in this small group had a special sense of existence, and it was easy to form a deep friendship.


    Zhang Man occasionally saw some of the boys ask Li Wei some questions. Although he usually looked indifferent and did not participate in their playfulness, he would always give detailed answers no matter who asked questions.


    It was to the point where sometimes, when Lin Pingzheng was asking a student to answer a question during class, he would help with a few words.


    Zhang Man suddenly felt very glad.


    In his previous life, Li Wei was always excluded by his classmates. He was always alone in school. He was cold and indifferent.


    Zhang Man was the same, too. She did not like to be loud, and she changed schools in the second year of high school. She did not have any contact with anyone else in N City except her best friend, Chen Feier. After going to H City, after all, she was a transfer student. She could not get used to her environment and did not feel like she belonged.


    So, she and Li Wei had never really felt this kind of feeling where they were a part of a group.


    To be honest, Zhang Man sometimes looked at them and felt a little guilty.


    Even though a lot of the students were ridiculed by Lin Pingzheng every day, Zhang Man could see that all of them, except for her, were all quite intelligent.


    Even Qi Lele and Cao Zhixue, who did relatively poorer than the others, had better response speeds, comprehension and even knowledge retention than her.


    Even if they were not geniuses, in physics, everyone had their unique talents.


    Zhang Man was very aware of this. If she did not have her knowledge from teaching high school for more than ten years in her previous life, she would not have learned as much as them.


    Unfortunately, their talents were severely suppressed by Lin Pingzheng¡¯s unscientific teaching methods.


    A competition test was conducted two days ago. Of the eleven people, only Chen Jun and Jin Ming passed in addition to Zhang Man and Li Wei.


    Of course, Lin Pingzheng certainly did not think that his teaching skills were the problem. After seeing the test results, he first gave them an insulting speech.


    Zhang Man sometimes thought that he did not seem to care about being a coach and if they were learning things properly.


    It seemed like the worse they were, the more ways he could feel an overwhelming sense of superiority over them.


    ¡­


    The atmosphere in the classroom was becoming more and more enjoyable, but some people were not very happy.


    For example¡­ Li Wei.


    Since Zhang Man took the initiative to kiss him that day and was discovered by Deng Nian, she never got too close to him again in the small black classroom.


    She used to make some intimate gestures at him when the others were not paying attention.


    Such as when she passed by him, she would secretly touch his face with the back of her hand, or when she sometimes touched his hand when she passed out homework for the teacher.


    She even kissed his cheek when there was no one around.


    These kinds of intimate interactions that only they knew always made him feel like his life was full of sweetness when he was depressed.


    However, these small actions had now completely disappeared.


    She was just like a model student now. She kept a certain distance from him all the time, no matter if someone was around. Even if he occasionally tried to touch her head, she would blush and dodge.


    Furthermore, she was always smiling at the other boys in the competition class recently. It might be because everyone was more familiar with each other.


    Her smile was so sweet and beautiful.


    The youth bit his pen cap and frowned slightly.


    This damn small black room.

 CH 62.2

    That night, after self-study time, Zhang Man waited for everyone else to leave. Then, she walked up to the youth with her backpack on and waited for him to pack up.


    ¡°Li Wei, let¡¯s go.¡±


    The youth nodded and began to put the things he wanted to take home into his backpack.


    Who knew that after he packed up his things, the youth did not stand up at all. Instead, he leaned back on the chair  and looked at her with an eyebrow raised.


    ¡°Man Man, what do you call me?¡±


    Although it was already dark outside, the gentle spring breeze blew in from the open window and went through her long hair.


    Her bangs were a little long. Zhang Man did not have time to cut them, and allowed them to block her eyes. The wind blowing was a rare refreshing moment.


    What a joyous spring night.


    But the audacity and shamelessness of some people.


    Zhang Man started to blush and bit her lips. ¡°We¡¯re in the classroom right now¡­ let¡¯s go outside first.¡±


    Can¡¯t I do it on the way back?


    Still, the youth just did not stand up. It was as if he wouldn¡¯t leave unless she said it.


    Zhang Man pulled his sleeve anxiously.


    ¡°¡­ Let¡¯s go, boy¡­ okay?¡±


    Perhaps this was really something from what she was used to during her time as a high school teacher in her previous life. Zhang Man did not change her mind once she made up her mind. She always felt that it was a very shameful thing to be so outwardly lovey-dovey in school.


    The youth closed his eyes.


    Forget it.


    The youth stood up, booped her on the tip of her nose, and walked out.


    When they reached the outskirts of the school and turned a corner, Zhang Man finally relaxed and reached out to take the youth¡¯s hand.


    Unexpectedly, as soon as her hand reached out to his, she was pulled by him into his arms, and recklessly kissed by him.


    Zhang Man did not give him any kisses at school. Also, the way home was so short. If he did not seize the moment, then when would it happen?


    Seeing that there was no one in the alley, Zhang Man relaxed. She was then pressed up against the wall in the alley by the youth. He put a hand on the back of her head and kissed her indulgently.


    Zhang Man tried her hardest to adjust her breathing. She raised her chin, and responded to him with an inexperienced and passionate attitude.


    The spring breeze was blowing, and the night was heavy. The youth clearly did not drink, but his kisses had a faint intoxicating scent.


    Truthfully, she also wanted to kiss him.


    ¡°Cao Zhixue, how can you be so stupid? I can¡¯t believe you left your cell phone at school, and laozi has to go back with you to get it. Are you afraid of the dark?¡±


    While being unreasonably scolded by Deng Nian, Cao Zhixue cried out with disdain, ¡°Who the hell is afraid of the dark, Idiot Deng? I¡¯m actually afraid that you will go back alone when you are afraid of the dark, okay?¡±


    ¡°You are f***ing afraid¡­ Sh**! Look over there. There are two people kissing and they are wearing our school uniform¡­¡±


    ¡°Tsk tsk tsk, young people these days are so bad¡­ Let¡¯s go and have a look.¡±


    The two guys hid around the corner of the wall and looked at what was happening with startled eyes.


    The handsome and tall youth had trapped the petite girl between his body and the wall.


    The youth held the back of her head with his hand and was kissing her gently and warmly.


    He did not look like that cold, rational, and gifted youth who was always quiet.


    ""


    The girl who was kissed by him blushed and her eyelashes trembled slightly. Her hands instinctively grabbed the youth¡¯s sleeve.


    She did not look like that icy goddess who was always unapproachable and silent.


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    Deng Nian already knew it was them. At this moment, he looked at Cao Zhixue, who appeared dumbfounded, and he smirked with spite.


    He had kept this secret to himself until this day.


    ¡°Cao Zhixue, it¡¯s like you dropped your f***ing ice cream, hahahaha!¡±


    When Cao Zhixue came back to reality, he gave him a vicious smack on the head.


    ¡°Sh**! Deng Nian, do you want to die? You knew but you did not tell me? I was going to f***king give a gift to the goddess on her birthday in a few days¡­ I told you yesterday that when I went to ask the boss to ask a question, the look he gave me was a bit scary¡­¡±


    Deng Nian mischievously laughed.


    ¡°Brother, you don¡¯t have to panic. Don¡¯t we still have Chen Jun, that idiot? Why don¡¯t we¡­ encourage him to confess?¡±


    The pain of having his heart broken was soon replaced by excitement.


    ""


    Cao Zhixue rubbed his chin and said, ¡°What you said is reasonable, hehehe¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah, definitely, hehehe¡­¡±