《Manhattanhenge》


 CH 1

    Chapter 1: N. An Unexpected Reunion


    It had been six years of separation.


    Their reunion should have been a more presentable one.


    ¡°Are you truly not going to reconsider?¡±


    The man¡¯s voice through the phone call sounded very young. His tone was terribly sincere.


    ¡°Miss Jones adores your works very much. She started to take note of you even when you had just begun creating. To be honest, there¡¯s not much of a difference between this and your works being hosted for an exhibition. As collectors, we will similarly take precious care of them. Even putting aside the considerable remuneration, her engagement party will attract great levels of media attention. We¡¯ve invited many media outlets. This would also be beneficial for you¡­¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s head was spinning, the seriousness on his face was making him look particularly patient. He poured his pills on his palm, and after taking a gulp of cold water, he raised his head and swallowed the pills down.


    Sensing that the speaker seemed to have finished, Su Hui rejected his offer softly, ¡°I¡¯m deeply sorry. I haven¡¯t been¡­ in a great state recently. I believe you all will be able to find someone more suitable.¡±


    The call ended, and the dim room suddenly quietened to a level that gave Su Hui¡¯s heart palpitations.


    The metallic taste on the tip of his tongue had yet to completely dissipate before the side effects had already arrived. He sat on the bed, hands trembling uncontrollably. These were all things Su Hui was long used to, so he did not think much of it. He only quietly looked outside the window, gazing into the ashen gray of gloom.


    [Seattle is really dull. Look at this weather, yet it¡¯s still not snowing.]


    He remembered these words Liang Wen said before he left earlier.


    At that time, he couldn¡¯t respond with a single word. And this was still true. Being unable to give a response was incredibly impolite, but Liang Wen did not criticize him for that. Su Hui was always very grateful for his understanding.


    Once his depression set in, he would turn very slow. His thoughts would freeze, mind becoming muddled as his emotions plummet into the very bottom. As if he was a worm that suffered a blow to its spine, he could only lie on the floor without moving, no different from a lifeless piece of waste paper.


    In his mind, a voice that seemed both alike and yet unlike his own was repeating every flaw he had, every seemingly reprehensible mistake he ever made. The soil under his feet crumbled inch by inch ¡ª as if in a split-second, he would be forced to approach the window, jump off and plummet straight into this frigid world.


    Su Hui turned his head very sluggishly, reaching for the eye mask on the bedside table.


    Next to it, he noticed Liang Wen¡¯s forgotten sunglasses.


    Liang Wen had snow blindness. He always wore glasses in such weather just in case. Su Hui knew that he should get up right now and return it to him ¡ª after all, this was not a small trifle; it involved his driving safety.


    But he could not move an inch at all whatsoever. His body was being controlled by boundless despair.


    Escaping was his habit.


    It was a very long time later when Su Hui dialed Liang Wen¡¯s number and put his phone on speaker. Then he put on the eye mask, lying back down in difficulty with knitted brows.


    Even though this place was clearly not as cold as New York, he seemed to be frozen from head to toe. The hotel blanket seemed to weigh down on him like a heavy layer of ice, preventing him from breathing easily.


    With a frosty phone ring followed by another, Su Hui shut his eyes. The effects of the medication were surfacing little by little. The sensation of being held down became increasingly heavy, and his eardrums, too, were turning swollen and painful; he could not hear anything clearly.


    Liang Wen did not pick up.


    It was like he was forcibly compressed into a terrifying dream. In the distorted space was a myriad of tangled black lines that impeded his vision. Su Hui kept running, and kept running. Suddenly, he fell into a deep hole. Looking miserable and in pain, he dragged himself to his feet and discovered there was a blue firefly emitting a faint fluorescent light. Su Hui moved closer to it little by little, perceiving the person hiding inside.


    It has been a long while since he last dreamed of him.


    As if under a spell, he carefully reached out.


    In the instant before he touched it, the person turned into countless butterflies that flew away.


    .


    Ning Yixiao was listening to his assistant reminding him about his schedule and agenda tomorrow, head lowered to look at his watch.


    Assistant Carl was a very clever person. He immediately inquired, ¡°Would you need me to book a return ticket for you tomorrow? I had a look. There are still business class tickets available for a few though rather early flights.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± Ning Yixiao took the room card from the lady at the counter and slightly nodded his head in response.


    Carl glanced at the room card in his hand and said again, ¡°I apologize. This is the best business hotel I could book at the last minute. It¡¯s almost Christmas, so it¡¯s a bit tricky to book a room.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry. You can go eat.¡± Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t have much of an expression, walking to the elevator alone.


    Just as he stepped foot into the elevator, he received the company¡¯s call regarding an investor who suddenly wanted him to attend a personal banquet. It involved the company¡¯s upcoming financial plans and was set to start at 7 pm that day.


    The work partner in the call repeatedly emphasized the importance of their finances this time around. It was currently their most crucial juncture.


    ¡°I understand. I will be there on time.¡± The elevator door opened. Ning Yixiao walked out of the elevator, and the choppy phone signal was gradually recovering. He listened to his business partner¡¯s secretary introduce the banquet tonight as he walked further into the hallway.


    There were not many rooms on this level. He very quickly found the matching room of the room card on him ¡ª 2208.


    These few digits strangely made him feel a slight sense of agitation. So, Ning Yixiao stopped in his steps, quietly gazing at the number for a few seconds. It was when he came back to himself that he swiped the card and opened the door.


    The air-conditioning in the room was very cold, and the air faintly emanated a very mild wood fragrance. Ning Yixiao gently closed the door and walked inside. He suddenly discovered a faint light coming from the room.


    Likely, due to the accumulation of work stress which left his entire body tensed ¡ª and not to mention, there was his fastidiousness with cleanliness too ¡ª he found this type of mistake quite unacceptable.


    The caller sensed something was wrong, and asked, ¡°Shaw, are you still listening?¡±


    ¡°Give me a moment. I need to do something, so let¡¯s end the call first.¡± Ning Yixiao dialed for the front desk according to the information on the room card.


    ¡°Hello. Have you cleaned the room?¡±


    Suddenly, a voice came from inside the room.


    ¡°Liang Wen, you¡¯re back?¡±


    It was a voice that he would never, ever forget.


    There was this one moment where Ning Yixiao¡¯s heart practically stopped, collapsing on the spot. Blood that was originally flowing throughout his body seemed to have frozen in an instant. Turned into a sticky, swollen, congealed liquid that almost wanted to burst free of his skin and blood vessels.


    That voice was still resounding in his head.


    You¡¯re back¡­


    Ning Yixiao pushed himself to take a step forward. After his first step, his subsequent ones became so fast that he tripped over himself, as if he was chasing anxiously for an answer.


    Su Hui found it quite strange. He didn¡¯t think he gave the room card to Liang Wen. Even if his memory was bad, it shouldn¡¯t be to the extent where he would even forget this.


    Or was it that Liang Wen didn¡¯t close the door properly? That seemed even less likely.


    Just as he was questioning this ¡ª very abruptly ¡ª an icy-cold hand grabbed his eye mask and somewhat violently pulled it off.


    His murky vision gradually turned clear.


    This person who stood in front of him was very clearly the Ning Yixiao who vanished in his dreams.


    Su Hui did not know if this was a hallucination or reality. He could not discern the boundaries separating the two. Just like this, he quietly gazed at Ning Yixiao¡¯s face ¡ª until the corners of his eyes reddened.


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s hand gripped the eye mask deathly tight. Even the skin at his knuckles blanched from the intense force.


    What made Su Hui afraid was that he could not speak up at all. Millions of words were trapped in his chest, but yet, he could not even make a single sound akin to an intelligible word.


    Just like this, the two painfully and very silently looked at each other. Until a hotel staff came in, apologies pouring out of his mouth, as he squeezed himself between them, breaking this awkward situation.


    ¡°We¡¯re truly sorry. We apologize profusely.¡± When they reached the front counter, the lobby manager of the hotel bowed apologetically.


    ¡°You see, Mr. Ning, we¡¯re really very sorry. There was an issue in the systems, and it mixed up the high-ranking customers¡¯ channels with the massive business pre-booking channel. That caused this situation where the same room was booked twice. I apologize. We will swiftly deal with this problem and upgrade your room into a presidential suite. Please wait for a moment.¡±


    Ning Yixiao did not hear a single word, the corner of his gaze remaining on Su Hui who was not far away.


    When he came out, he only hastily put on a large coat, his other hand gripping the handle of his suitcase. Head turned aside, he was looking at the lady at the front desk who was explaining the situation to him.


    Su Hui¡¯s back looked very thin, and very fragile too. It lacked a sense of security and looked just like a plant that was about to wither and die.


    For a moment, a wave of many memories that Ning Yixiao thought he had almost forgotten slammed him, swallowing him up and suffocating him.


    He couldn¡¯t help but look at Su Hui, gaze tracing his thin shoulders and arms, and catching sight of Su Hui¡¯s trembling hands.


    ¡°Go settle it first.¡± Ning Yixiao then asked gravely, ¡°Is there a coffee shop here?¡±


    Hearing these words, a burden seemed to be lifted off the manager¡¯s shoulders. He nodded numerous times. ¡°Yes, there is. It¡¯s right next to the hall on the first floor. I¡¯ll show you the way.¡±


    Ning Yixiao swept a look around. ¡°Thank you. I see it.¡±


    After rejecting the manager, he approached Su Hui.


    As he came closer, he gradually heard Su Hui¡¯s voice become clearer. His tone sounded very drained, but with much politeness, he repeated his request to the front desk. ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologize, and I don¡¯t need remuneration. Just quickly complete the check-out procedures for me. Thank you.¡±


    His words were very slow, and said with some difficulty, as if just saying these words required massive effort.


    Just like how Su Hui packed his luggage earlier. The white little luggage was lying on the floor then. Even pulling it upright was difficult.


    This reminded Ning Yixiao of Su Hui in the past. He didn¡¯t seem to have changed at all.


    The lady at the desk spotted Ning Yixiao behind Su Hui, so she cut off the conversation with him. Instead, she bowed her head and apologized. But even so, Su Hui still did not look back.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get a cup of coffee?¡±


    Su Hui did hear Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice. It conveyed a sense of distance that it seemed to have drifted its way over from six years ago ¡ª yet, it also sounded like it came from right behind him.


    ¡°Checking out probably would need some time too.¡± Ning Yixiao¡¯s cold voice had a hint of a smile too. ¡°It¡¯s been a long time since we last met. Let¡¯s catch up.¡±


    Su Hui knew himself that with his current state, it was not suitable for them to ¡°catch up¡±. His reactions were slow and he was passive, thoughts in a jumbled mess. Even taking an extra step felt ten folds more difficult.


    He wanted to reject him at first. And he should reject him.


    But his feet still uncontrollably moved forward, following behind Ning Yixiao. It was just like how, even though he could not even get out of bed, he could still get down the instant he saw Ning Yixiao.


    Su Hui was not sure at all how he walked into the coffee shop, or how he sat down across the table from him. It seemed like a dream he could not wake from, where there was another version of himself in the third-person point of view, seeing this difficult reunion.


    The scene outside the full-length window was frigid. He could faintly hear the wind leaking in. And the sky seemed much heavier than before too.


    For some reason, Su Hui did not have the courage to face Ning Yixiao. They were clearly just sitting face to face, but seemed to be separated by an insurmountable area of land. The ground was littered with unavoidable shards of broken glass.


    The waiter came to take their order. Ning Yixiao was much more relaxed than before, very naturally making the order as if they were old friends who got along well. ¡°An espresso italiano, and a cup of latte with oat milk, more sweet.¡±


    He believed he understood Su Hui, and he ordered it based on his past habits. That was something that seemed so natural.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want sugar. No sugar, please.¡±


    What he didn¡¯t expect was that the silent Su Hui would speak up and interrupt him.


    Ning Yixiao looked over, seeing him raise his head to repeat it once more to the waiter. Then he said softly, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I avoid sugar now.¡±


    This was said to him, but Su Hui did not look at him.


    He was silent for two seconds before he laughed. ¡°I was in the wrong. I should have asked you first.¡±


    ¡°I thought you were still the same as before.¡±


    While they waited for the coffee, Ning Yixiao silently gazed at Su Hui sitting in front of him. At this moment, he seemed to be denying his judgment from earlier.


    Su Hui didn¡¯t seem to have changed, but he also seemed to have changed a lot.


    He still had the same beautiful appearance that allowed him to easily obtain anything. He could still very easily hide his deficits and mania. He was still very thin, much thinner than in the past. His hair was longer than before, resting by his chest. That should make him look languid, but because of his sickly demeanor and dazedness, even his beauty was forlorn.


    That natural-born proudness that did not carry a speck of arrogance was now gone from his eyes. Ning Yixiao thought it was ingrained in his blood and flesh, and that it would remain in him until the day he died.


    Su Hui¡¯s complexion was unnaturally pale. Only his slightly pursed lips held a little redness. He could not control the slight quivering in his hands. So he put both of them under the table, leaving them to grip his knees instead.


    The cups of coffee were served in front of them. Ning Yixiao took a sip and smiled. ¡°Why are you not speaking?


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to see me?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Long time no see~ I miss everyone! If you like this, please bookmark this!


    There might be some triggers in this novel, and I¡¯ve basically written all of them in the synopsis. You can take a look at it. What¡¯s most important is that this book uses ¡°non-linear storytelling¡±. I¡¯ll mark the chapters with an ¡°N¡± if it takes place in the present time. If I mark it with a ¡°P¡±, it takes place in the past. The story will be told from both the gong and shou¡¯s perspectives. It¡¯ll probably be half-half. And also, there¡¯ll be focus on Su Hui (the shou)¡¯s mental illness, both before and after their reunion. I¡¯m about to start the days of needing to writing new chapters again. Thank you, everyone, for reading. I¡¯m very thankful~

 CH 2

    Chapter 2: N. So Near, Yet So Far


    ¡°That¡¯s quite an honor.


    Here I thought you¡¯d already forgotten I existed.¡±


    Su Hui lowered his eyes, gazing at the milk froth floating on his coffee. He was depersonalizing. His chilled teeth clenched before he spoke up finally, ¡°I¡­ have been well.¡±


    Perhaps because his reply didn¡¯t seem like an answer to his question at all, Ning Yixiao laughed.


    But he was very used to Su Hui being like this too. He had been like this in the past, jumping from topic to topic, without any logic connecting them. That was all because of his illness. This absence of change lulled Ning Yixiao into a slight sense of security.


    When Assistant Carl heard about a mishap in the hotel he booked, he didn¡¯t even finish his food before he rushed back. Ning Yixiao wouldn¡¯t pick up his calls, so he sped to the hotel, and through the full-length glass window, he immediately spotted Ning Yixiao.


    What surprised him was that Ning Yixiao was smiling. They had worked together for a long time now, but he had never seen his stern-faced workaholic superior make such a smile before. He looked like a completely different person.


    ¡°What have you been doing these years?¡± Ning Yixiao¡¯s posture was relaxed.


    Su Hui¡¯s silence seemed extremely repressed. It took him a long while before he returned to reality. ¡°¡­Treating my illness.¡±


    Ning Yixiao nodded in understanding, staring at his lowered eyes before he asked again, ¡°Are you a little better now?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m better.¡± Su Hui uttered the lie, turning his face aside and looking at the roads outside the window. He repeated mutteringly, ¡°Much better.¡±


    He looked very much like he wished to immediately get up and leave this place for the outside.


    Ning Yixiao laughed softly. Even if he didn¡¯t quite believe him, even if he had already long seen his trembling hands, even if he was clearer than anyone else that this was a side-effect of his medications, he still responded rather kindly, ¡°Really? That¡¯s good to hear.¡±


    No. Perhaps he wasn¡¯t the one who was clearest about this.


    Ning Yixiao could not help but remember how Su Hui lay on the bed, that voice echoing in his ear.


    Liang Wen. This was the name he had uttered.


    ¡°Earlier, you seemed to have mistaken me for someone else.¡±


    His fingers tightened around the cup, but he still maintained the smile on his face.


    Su Hui could not quite gather his energy. Even sitting here properly was difficult. He supported himself with his palms on the seat booth. It was as though he had not heard Ning Yixiao¡¯s question.


    Ning Yixiao assumed then that he didn¡¯t want to talk about it. He gave him another smile. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Am I asking too many questions?¡±


    Hearing this, Su Hui sluggishly shook his head.


    ¡°Since it¡¯s been such a long time, I¡¯m a tad curious,¡± Ning Yixiao said.


    Su Hui seemed to be very cold. He wrapped his coat around him tighter, picking up his coffee to take a sip. His slightly agape lips breathed out a few white tendrils of condensation. Like mist, it hid that despondent, forlorn beautiful face.


    But at the same time as he moved away the cup, the froth stained his lips, while his eyes were innocent and pure.


    Su Hui was just such a contradictory existence.


    Ning Yixiao took a sip too, removing his gaze from him.


    He looked outside the window. The gray, murky sky seemed like it could collapse in the next second. The winds were strong. Every passerby was holding onto their issues and troubles tightly.


    In the silence, Su Hui downed the remaining half cup of latte. The temperature and caffeine seemed to have lent him some steady energy. He looked at Ning Yixiao who didn¡¯t seem to have changed much in six years aside from seeming to have a better life now.


    He still had that handsome face that was easily picked out in a crowd, but he wore a coat different from the past ¡ª a branded one. It made him look distant, unapproachable.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s voice left Ning Yixiao in a little daze. He was not too used to being called by his full name by this person.


    Turning back, Ning Yixiao gazed at Su Hui¡¯s pale face, discovering that this pair of liquid eyes were gazing at him. The emotions in them were ones he could not comprehend. They looked very much like repentance.


    But whether it was truly repentance, Ning Yixiao no longer wanted to ruminate. Earlier, in the ten over seconds he looked outside, he had figured out many things. He did not want to repeatedly contemplate what Su Hui was thinking. He knew that whatever he interpreted was wrong. This was true six years ago. And this also remained true six years later.


    A question had always been stuck in Su Hui¡¯s mind. He had thought it over¡ªif he were to see this person again¡ªhe would not carry a single care about anything else; he could easily let them pass. However, he definitely had to ask this question.


    In this entire short while since he sat down, he had been fighting a losing battle with himself. When he finally recovered some of his energy, he mustered up the courage to ask.


    ¡°You¡­ My letters¡­¡±


    ¡°I read them.¡±


    Ning Yixiao did not let him finish, giving the answer with his lips pressed in a flat line. In this second, the chill emitting from him was completely different from before, as if something had shot him in his knee.


    Su Hui¡¯s drifting thoughts suddenly made a disjointed connection. They were back to summertime, recalling the lawn mower in his garden. Those greens and grasses were instantly sheared, leaving behind a verdant smell in the air.


    Those mangled blades of grass on the ground could only bear it, unable to continue any further.


    ¡°I don¡¯t quite want to talk about that right now.¡± The smile returned to Ning Yixiao¡¯s face.


    He changed the topic nonchalantly, putting down the cup. ¡°Right. You said before that you like Iceland. It¡¯s already been so many years. Have you visited yet?¡±


    The hallucinatory side-effects of his medicine seemed to be in effect still. Su Hui believed he was a fish which lost all of its bones and was stranded in shallow waters. Very feeble, very helpless.


    He managed to tug the corners of his lips and gave Ning Yixiao a smile. The coffee that was stirred earlier suddenly appeared in his vision. He could see that floating spiral. It spiraled¡ªand spiraled¡ª¡ªas if he¡¯d be swallowed in one moment, buried the next.


    ¡°Mhm.¡±


    ¡°Was it pretty?¡± Ning Yixiao looked at him.


    Su Hui nodded half a beat later. ¡°Very.¡±


    ¡°Did you come here to travel?¡± Ning Yixiao asked again.


    Su Hui quietened. ¡°It¡¯s for an exhibit¡ª For work.¡±


    As he answered, he noticed that Ning Yixiao had one of his hands in his pocket the entire time.


    Very luckily, Ning Yixiao seemed to plan on letting him off; he did not probe further.


    ¡°True.¡± Ning Yixiao pulled out that hand. ¡°There isn¡¯t anything special to travel all the way to Seattle for.¡±


    Su Hui could not say another word. As though even the Heavens knew that he was in desperate need of help, that manager who was deeply respectful to Ning Yixiao approached them. He bowed once again in apology, offering a gift card to make up for the mistake while uttering some pleasantries that Su Hui didn¡¯t quite like but was necessary.


    At least he could leave now.


    Su Hui stood up, gripping the handle of his luggage as he spoke very softly, ¡°Then I¡¯ll take my leave now.¡±


    He didn¡¯t look back and only walked forward.


    But Ning Yixiao¡¯s pace was fast. And since his own was not quite stable, he was caught up within a few steps. In the end, the two of them still left the hotel entrance together.


    Snow fell without any warning. It was a very heavy one ¡ª completely different from what Su Hui expected. He subconsciously reached out to catch a snowflake.


    He heard that it rarely snowed here, though it was not an extremely low possibility ¡ª it could still happen on occasion.


    But he and Ning Yixiao were the opposite. It had been six years, yet they could only meet again in such a convoluted progression of events.


    Ning Yixiao turned his head. Like he had reunited with an old friend in another foreign country, he said to him very classic words of goodbye: ¡°I didn¡¯t think that I would see you again.¡±


    The snowflake in Su Hui¡¯s hand had already begun to melt. ¡°Me neither.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Ning Yixiao suddenly laughed. ¡°That¡¯s quite an honor. Here I thought you¡¯d already forgotten I existed.¡±


    After saying that, he nodded at a person not far away. He very cooly told Su Hui then, ¡°I¡¯m going. It¡¯s snowing, so take care on your way.¡±


    Su Hui stood alone at the same spot for one minute. It was not that he didn¡¯t want to move. He just couldn¡¯t move his legs.


    Standing in the falling snow, what appeared in his vision was, in fact, a scene from six years ago. That night when he left Ning Yixiao, he had been like this too. He had forgotten to say goodbye.


    Ning Yixiao returned to the car. Assistant Carl was already waiting for him in the driver¡¯s seat for a while.


    Usually, Ning Yixiao was harshly strict on being on time. So, now that they clearly looked like they were about to be late, Carl was a little frantic, fearful of his superior¡¯s remarks.


    ¡°Shaw, are we going straight to the banquet?¡± Carl glanced at his watch. ¡°The ride will take about 45 minutes. Tonight¡¯s food will be prepared by a very renowned chef in Seattle. I¡¯ve checked the menu. They originally planned for scallops and prawns, but I informed them ahead of time that you dislike seafood. So, they quickly switched to venison¡­¡±


    Noticing that he had received no response from Ning Yixiao even after talking this much, Carl looked at him through the rearview mirror, hesitantly calling him again.


    In the reflection, Ning Yixiao¡¯s face was pale, brows furrowed as his eyes stared at the side view mirror, foul energy exuding from his face.


    Carl was considering whether he should call him again when Ning Yixiao suddenly opened the door and got out.


    ¡°Shaw?¡± Carl was a little confused, hastily opening the door on his side to follow him too.


    In his memory, Ning Yixiao rarely had unstable emotions. Even when he was in difficult work situations with seemingly zero chance of success, Ning Yixiao was composed, similar to an AI that lacked an ability to express emotions.


    ¡°Get back in the car.¡± Ning Yixiao looked down at his watch. ¡°I¡¯ll take a cab to the banquet.¡±


    Carl was even more baffled now. ¡°A cab?¡±


    ¡°That person earlier¡­¡± Ning Yixiao paused, expression shifting. ¡°Follow him. Tell me where he¡¯s going.¡±


    ¡°F-Follow? That¡¯s illega¡­¡± Carl was stunned on the spot. But Ning Yixiao was already standing by the road, beckoning at a cab that was driving in their direction.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to follow me to the banquet. I¡¯ll let you knock off work right afterwards.¡± Leaving these words, Ning Yixiao got into the cab.


    Even if he mentally felt a slight displeasure at his superior¡¯s orders, Carl still followed Ning Yixiao¡¯s request. He got in the car, and drove in the opposite direction from before, gaze searching for any trace of that gorgeous young man earlier.


    Ning Yixiao sat on the backseat of the cab, staring at the stained spot at the back of the car seat, silent. The cab driver attempted a conversation with him, but seeing his unpleasant expression, he could only quieten down as well and simply drove in silence.


    The sky outside the window had already darkened. Snow was drifting in the night and neon lights of the city ¡ª as if it was attempting to cloak and conceal everything.


    Countless thoughts flashed through Ning Yixiao¡¯s mind, but he couldn¡¯t grasp onto a single one. He just felt like a giant clown right now.


    They had been separated for so many years, yet Su Hui was not curious about even a single thing. The only question he asked was those letters. It was as if he could no longer tolerate Ning Yixiao¡¯s questions, and in the end, decided to finish him off with a lethal blow.


    The most hilarious thing was that when he saw how vulnerable Su Hui looked, a part of himself still could not bear it, believing that he was the one overdoing it¡ªthat he shouldn¡¯t have pushed him so hard.


    The cab driver had turned on the air-conditioner, so the temperature in the vehicle was not too low. Ning Yixiao listened to the news on the car radio. The radio DJ was reporting that Seattle was about to face the biggest snowfall and lowest temperature in history this year and reminded folks to make preparations.


    Ning Yixiao wanted to let out a cold laugh. He rolled down the window, expressionlessly looking at the dancing particles of white outside.


    He remembered the snowfall six years ago, as well as Su Hui¡¯s leaving figure covered by the snow. Standing at the roadside then, he had been frozen to his toes, body stiff, unable to even take a step out.


    A ¡°bitter winter¡± in Seattle that needed to be especially reported was not even worth a mention to him. He had been entrapped by that snowfall all these time. Even until now, unable to escape from it.


    When he arrived at his destination, Ning Yixiao received Carl¡¯s phone call.


    ¡°Shaw, I followed him the entire way. He was on foot at first and walked very slowly. Then he got on a bus and got off near a luxurious residential apartment and headed there.¡±


    Hearing no interruption from Ning Yixiao, Carl continued, ¡°When he arrived, a man came out to meet him.¡±


    Ning Yixiao finally broke his silence, ¡°What kind of man was he?¡±


    His voice had turned a little terrifying. It was very low, as if he was suppressing some kind of emotion. Carl found it hard to swallow for a moment. He braced himself and described him, ¡°Hm¡­ He¡¯s Chinese and very tall. He looks about the same height as you, and about 27 or 28 years old.¡±


    What he received was a prolonged silence. Anxiety was eating up Carl.


    ¡°Shaw¡­¡±


    ¡°They met. And then?¡±


    This question was a little vague now. Carl could only describe everything he saw. ¡°That man seemed to have asked something. He patted his shoulder, gave him a hug. Then they went upstairs together.¡±


    ¡°Then?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Carl answered honestly. ¡°I didn¡¯t follow them upstairs. This is their private matter after all.¡±


    These words seemed to be an implied warning. Ning Yixiao let out a quiet laugh that sounded like condescension, but also self-mockery.


    ¡°You did the right thing.¡±


    Carl felt a strange tinge of fear then. Today, Ning Yixiao was behaving very strangely. Or, to be more precise, after seeing that person by chance at the hotel, Ning Yixiao had turned very bizarre. After working with him for these couple of years, he had never seen him smile like that, nor had he heard him talk like this.


    ¡°Is there anything else you need me to do?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Ning Yixiao entered the elevator, pressing the button for the floor.


    ¡°Investigate a person called Liang Wen.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Earlier, I accidentally copied the second chapter onto the first chapter too. After I mulled it over, I decided to just post the second chapter after all. Maybe a lot of readers didn¡¯t see it (sobs, here goes one of my drafted chapters)


    [Carl: I thought I did a great job, but I¡¯m getting a faint sense that something isn¡¯t right.]


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: Jiayou, Carl! (Did anyone else get salty vibes from NYX?)

 CH 3

    Chapter 3: N. A Beautiful Evening


    He is gay.


    Ning Yixiao arrived at the dinner banquet late, but no one blamed him.


    Those celebrated entrepreneurs, who were still snobbish and condescending two years ago, were welcoming him with smiles as if nothing was wrong, raising their glasses at the tardy Ning Yixiao. Those same old smiles seemed to very much convey admiration for this young talent.


    But Ning Yixiao would always remember their cold gazes during his Series A financing.


    He quickly schooled into another expression as well, sweeping away the gloom on his face earlier and replacing it with a smile.


    ¡°I apologize. Something suddenly came up. I hope I haven¡¯t been late for too long.¡±


    ¡°See, Shaw is a workaholic through and through, and he is the best at keeping his promises. He must have been delayed by work today.¡± Mr Orvis who was close to the main seats laughed. ¡°The banquet¡¯s only just begun. The dishes aren¡¯t even served yet. Shaw, please do me the honor and share something about yourself to fill up the time.¡±


    The others present also chimed in approvingly, livening the place up.


    Ning Yixiao conceded to the request, taking a seat along with these well-known entrepreneurs at the long table. Considering his limited experience, sitting at close proximity to the host would have made anyone in his place feel suffocated with nerves. But Ning Yixiao¡¯s ambition made him take it in stride.


    Accepting the hot towel offered by the waiter, he wiped his hands and then sipped the aperitif. The room was warm. Ning Yixiao could feel his body temperature rising bit by bit.


    The majority of the guests at this table were caucasian men. Or rather, they comprised the business giants in New York and the Bay Area. They fought against each other and protected each other too. No one could shake that up.


    Ning Yixiao always had high energy levels for work, but today, he found it hard to concentrate. Although he was clearly paying attention to these investors and their business partners¡¯ conversation, the image of Su Hui kept intruding in front of his eyes. The dim natural evening light had shrouded him; there had been no smile on the face that was so pale it was almost translucent.


    ¡°How rare it is to see such a new face!¡±


    A stranger¡¯s voice rang out. Ning Yixiao sharply sensed that she appeared to be speaking to him, so he followed the voice and raised his eyes. It was a ginger-haired woman who was holding onto Mr. Jones¡¯ arm. She looked just a few years older than himself.


    She sat diagonally opposite from him while Mr. Jones sat on the host¡¯s seat. The two¡¯s eyes zeroed in on him.


    Ning Yixiao subconsciously reached for his name card, but he noticed when he took it out that he had already held onto this card for a long time now. Even when the paper had wrinkled, he still did not take it out.


    He paused before he reached for his wallet again, offering the lady a brand-new name card.


    ¡°Here I thought you have two types of name cards for different people.¡± The lady laughed. The hand that accepted the card donned bright red nail polish. She read the card carefully before lifting it up as if she were showcasing her trump card in a gambling session. She then joked, ¡°Oh, it seems that I¡¯ve been given the formal business one.¡±


    The other guests in the dinner banquet laughed along with her. Ning Yixiao did the same and offered no explanation.


    ¡°A pleasure to meet you. I¡¯m Julie Seville. Just call me Julie.¡± Separated by the fresh flowers and extravagant plates on the table, she stretched out a hand towards Ning Yixiao.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao.¡± He only held her flamingly bright fingertips out of politeness.


    ¡°I like Oriental men.¡± Julie flipped her curls, smiling as she said, ¡°Asian men have a very unique sort of reticent and gentlemanly nature.¡±


    A major investor sitting at the side teased her without any restraint, ¡°Oh, please. You just like handsome men!¡±


    Julie mischievously gave him a look, rebuking him fakely. Then she looked at Ning Yixiao. ¡°How strange. I¡¯ve never seen you on the covers of the Fortune or Entrepreneur magazines.¡±


    She began joking, ¡°If you were to advertise with your face, perhaps it¡¯ll be effective marketing.¡±


    ¡°Shaw doesn¡¯t even hold his roadshows personally, and gets that skinny research fellow in his company to do it. He¡¯s practically the most mysterious entrepreneur in Silicon Valley.¡±


    ¡°Oh, never mind then. If he were to be on the cover, I bet Fortune magazine would just be mistaken as GQ!¡±


    Ning Yixiao chuckled. ¡°Surely, that¡¯s an exaggeration. My appearance doesn¡¯t fit the sense of beauty here.¡±


    ¡°Who said that?¡± Julie¡¯s smile did not lessen any. The alcohol had powdered her cheeks pink and made her even more direct with her words. ¡°You look Eurasian, since you have characteristics of both sides¡ªand they¡¯re even the good ones. You must have been pretty sought-after when you were studying, weren¡¯t you?¡±


    The women of Vanity Fair were interested in Ning Yixiao, so such things happened occasionally. Even the people present at the moment have witnessed it a handful of times.


    ¡°Julie, are you still interested in him?¡± Someone else bantered. ¡°Just give up. It¡¯s well known that Shaw is seeing someone.¡±


    The smile on Ning Yixiao¡¯s face was very mild. In others¡¯ eyes, this face had an out-of-place but noble Oriental air. Even though his life had no connection with the word, ¡°high-born¡±.


    As he listened to their banter and chat, Ning Yixiao watched coolly from a distance internally, but maintained the smile on the surface without expressing the slightest hint of repulsion. He was very clear that while these people fawned and flattered him, an unknown number might be sneering at him in secret. Climbing up by sucking up, fawning over them for self-interest, using shrewd methods¡­ These were phrases he heard too much of in private.


    The host and the organizer of this banquet, Mr. Jones, only watched the others speak with a grin, and occasionally exchanged some words with Ning Yixiao, discussing their new product that was nearing launch. This business giant seemed very approachable, but when he did not smile, he had an imposing sternness even when he was not angry.


    Ning Yixiao did not consume much of the food in the banquet, other than a few bites of steak. In order to make progress for his company¡¯s Series C financing, he used the remainder of the time to talk with a few investors about their ideals, plans and future domains. His speech was neither slow nor superfluous, and was instead steady and confident.


    But midway through, an investor diverted the topic to one that hit a sore spot.


    ¡°Shaw, you don¡¯t look too good today. But you weren¡¯t like this when I saw you yesterday. Did something happen?¡±


    Ning Yixiao startled for a moment before he responded with a laugh.


    ¡°No. Perhaps I worked long hours recently, so I look a little more fatigued.¡±


    After the meal, the waiters served the desserts for them, announcing that it was cherry almond bavarois made by the greatest pastry chef in Seattle. When it was served, Ning Yixiao stared at the cherry topping on the cake, but he did not plan to eat it.


    ¡°Shaw?¡± Mr. Jones even noticed his mind had wandered off. ¡°Have a try. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll like it.¡±


    Ning Yixiao acknowledged in a reply. He picked up the fork at the side and only cut out a small piece. He even took care to avoid the glistening, pretty spiked cherry at the top.


    After the banquet, he stayed to chat with Mr. Jones. The man had given him some very helpful advice while avoiding all comments relating to personal matters; he only asked him to take care of himself.


    ¡°I will.¡±


    As he made his way out of the hotel the banquet was held in, Julie offered to give him a ride back to his hotel upon seeing that he did not have a chauffeur. But Ning Yixiao rejected it. Likely because she rarely met anyone this tactless, Julie was taken quite aback for a while before she finally remembered to roll up her car¡¯s window.


    ¡°Then I wish you a pleasant evening.¡±


    Ning Yixiao walked on the chilly, foreign streets of Seattle alone. The snowfall was becoming heavier, and it didn¡¯t seem like it was stopping any time soon. He recalled what someone said at the banquet, that he hoped that there wouldn¡¯t be heavy snowfall tomorrow, or they¡¯d have to stop work.


    Truly, what a fragile city this was. Just a night¡¯s worth of snow could make it stop in its tracks.


    He suddenly felt a little envious, steps pausing in front of a convenience store. He mentally wrestled with himself for a few seconds, but he still walked in. When he left its doors, he was holding a pack of Marlboros as well as a pack of disinfectant wipes. He borrowed a lighter from the store and walked outside to sit down.


    The umbrellas used to block the summer sun rays were still left in winter. So, no snow had landed on the chairs and tables hiding under the umbrellas.


    It had been a very long time since he bought this brand. The packaging seemed to have changed too. The ¡°aurora¡± described by that person was gone from the wrapper; in its place were ordinary shades of black and blue.


    He had just lit the cigarette in his mouth when he received a call from Jing Ming.


    ¡°Where are you at? Done yet?¡±


    Ning Yixiao exhaled a puff of smoke, the white tendrils curling in front of his eyes. The alcohol evaporated from the skin on his hands. It was very cold and carried with it some prickling pain. His tone became a little languid. ¡°Why are you so concerned when you didn¡¯t attend it?¡±


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t be bothered to go. Too troublesome.¡±


    Ning Yixiao still found his accented Mandarin weird. ¡°I think you should speak English instead.¡±


    Jing Ming was a friend he met when he was studying in S University, and they hit it off well. He was genuinely someone of Euroasian ancestry. His father was a French real estate agent while his mother was Chinese, an able woman who manufactured medicine. Back then, if this hot-headed rich second-generation of an entrepreneur wasn¡¯t an angel and became an investor, Ning Yixiao¡¯s entrepreneur journey would not have set off so quickly.


    Although he was born and raised in California, he loved Chinese culture very much. Back then, he voluntarily tried to be friends with him because Ning Yixiao was from China. He even had Ning Yixiao pick a Chinese name from the thousands of selections in ¡°Memorial to Yueyang Tower¡± [1]. Then, he banned his friends from calling him Luka and instead encouraged everyone to call him ¡°Jing Ming¡±. This even made some American friends get their tongues tied. Normally, when he spoke with Ning Yixiao, he insisted to speak in Mandarin. He even consulted xiangsheng performances and learned Beijing dialect, finding it especially exciting.


    ¡°Naw. What are you doing?¡± Jing Ming refused to switch into English and even attempted to use some awkward Beijing dialect.


    ¡°Smoking.¡±


    Jing Ming seemed to have gotten some blackmail material, voice raising. ¡°I thought you wanted to quit? But you¡¯re picking it up again?¡±


    Ning Yixiao hummed in acknowledgement. ¡°I¡¯m not feeling great today, so I wanted to smoke.¡±


    Jing Ming let out a long sigh. ¡°If you ask me, you should just stop trying to quit. So what if you smoke? It¡¯s not like you¡¯ll die tomorrow. Plus, human lifespans are so long. For someone like you who does nothing except work, you gotta have some channel to whittle it away, am I right?¡±


    Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t really listen to much of what he said. He just smoked quietly, exhaling ash gray curls under the sun umbrellas that were inappropriate for this season.


    ¡°Workaholics are so scary. I think your only leisure activity is to go home to stare off at your kitten stuffed toy¡­¡±


    Ning Yixiao very abruptly cut him off, getting up. ¡°I¡¯m going back.¡±


    ¡°Hey, hey, hey, back where?¡± Jing Ming clearly could not read the situation and didn¡¯t think much of what he said too. He asked again, ¡°Right, I gotta attend a get-together later. You coming?¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯m going back to the hotel. I¡¯m not done with work yet.¡± Ning Yixiao extinguished the cigarette butt and along with those faint emotions stirring in his heart, he tossed it all into the trash bin.


    ¡°You should take it easy occasionally.¡± He sighed again.


    NIng Yixiao returned the lighter and flagged for a cab, saying carelessly, ¡°As a business partner, you should also do some work.¡±


    In Mandarin, Jing Ming spoke in a manner that was completely a Westerner¡¯s way of speaking: ¡°All right, that¡¯s it for me. Have a good evening!¡±


    These words had been comical in the first place but sounded comical too.


    Ning Yixiao was not expecting a pleasant evening. Especially not tonight.


    Back in the hotel room, he turned on his laptop for a meeting. But most of the time, they were just reporting to him. So, as someone extremely proficient in multitasking, Ning Yixiao listened as he read the report that the financial officer sent. The entire meeting lasted for two and a half hours. When it was nearly over, he opened his mailbox and replied to his pending emails one by one. Only then did he realize he had received Carl¡¯s email about what he requested him to do.


    There were many attachments in the email, and many of them were academic papers. Ning Yixiao downloaded them and then made a call to Carl.


    ¡°If I am not wrong, he is a clinical psychiatrist based in New York, with his own clinic. I compiled some of his published academic journals and papers. Dr. Liang likely focuses on studying treatments for bipolar disorder. Do we have projects where we¡¯re required to work with him?¡±


    Carl had misunderstood the intention behind Ning Yixiao¡¯s order. But since he didn¡¯t hear a no from Ning Yixiao, he continued, ¡°To be honest, we have a doctor in our labs that was under the same professor as Dr. Liang. It¡¯s Elvis. If we need to partner with him, I believe we can talk to him through him.¡±


    Ning Yixiao did not comment. Instead, he paused a little before continuing, ¡°Anything about things unrelated to his profession?¡±


    ¡°Unrelated to his profession¡­¡± Carl considered. ¡°You mean his private life?¡±


    He had not completely figured out what Ning Yixiao¡¯s intention was. After a long moment of pondering, he suddenly remembered a paper he just saw. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right. Dr. Liang had published a paper regarding the psychology of homosexuality when he was studying for his degree. He¡¯s gay.¡±


    This was private enough, wasn¡¯t it?


    Carl quietly waited for a response. He even thought Ning Yixiao would praise him for his meticulousness.


    He didn¡¯t expect that Ning Yixiao would immediately hang up on him.


    A thought instantly popped into his mind. If there was a major on the psychology of your superiors, he would definitely sign up and study it.


    ¡ª


    Translator Note:


    [1] ÔÀÑôÂ¥¼Ç: a piece of literature written by Fan Zhongyan


    ¡ª


    Cao: POOR CARL¡­


    Cai: I feel so bad for him¡­

 CH 4

    Chapter 4: N. A Birthday Present


    Summer was long gone.


    Ning Yixiao stood up and paced a few steps in the hotel room before returning to the table. In the end, he picked up his phone and dialed Elvis¡¯s number to indirectly inquire about Liang Wen¡¯s matters.


    This was a very enthusiastic and energetic researcher. He very passionately introduced his junior to Ning Yixiao. For example, he used a pile of pretty little phrases like ¡°clever-minded¡±, ¡°friendly¡±, ¡°has a sense of humor¡±, which unintentionally added oil to the fire.


    ¡°Shaw, don¡¯t tell me you want me to poach him over? Let me warn you first. This junior of mine was born in a middle-class family with estates in California, New York and Seattle, so he¡¯s not in need of money. And he loves being a clinician.  He enjoys this particular aspect of servicing patients, so he¡¯s not interested in research. He probably won¡¯t say yes.¡±


    Ning Yixiao chuckled as if he didn¡¯t mind it. ¡°Then do you have his contact?¡±


    Elvis very quickly sent it to him. ¡°Did you receive it? But he very rarely accepts calls from unknown numbers on his private phone. You can call his outpatient number.¡±


    But he quickly corrected himself. ¡°Oh, no, I just remembered he¡¯s not at the department recently. It¡¯s kinda coincidental, but he¡¯s at Seattle for these couple of days too. Apparently, to attend an art exhibition¡­¡±


    As if a peculiar calculation system had caught a keyword, Ning Yixiao immediately asked, ¡°What exhibition?¡±


    The words that Su Hui said surfaced in his mind. He said something about ¡°exhibit¡±, and then corrected himself.


    ¡°It¡¯s an installation art exhibition.¡± Elvis still thought he was seeking for talent urgently, so he very magnanimously told this to him. Even if he did not hold hope, he still wished for his success.


    After receiving the information about the exhibition, Ning Yixiao sat there for a whole minute. In the end, he still made a call to Carl, telling him to cancel the flight the next day, help him book a ticket for the exhibition and reschedule all of his plans for tomorrow that can be pushed back.


    He could hear Carl¡¯s confusion and doubt in the call. This was not a strange reaction at all. After all, even he himself didn¡¯t know what he was doing.


    Ning Yixiao realized that he could not stop plowing through work.


    The moment he stopped, the very moment some space was freed up in his mind, he would think in spite of himself. He would wonder what Su Hui was doing now, who he was talking to, who he was dining with, and who he was spending this pleasant evening with.


    Like a program trapped in an endless loop, it continuously showed error messages as it continuously ran. The errors continued throughout the entire process with no end in sight.


    He hoped someone could terminate this program for him, but no one seemed to be able to. Even when asleep, he could not escape it.


    Having slept only three hours, Ning Yixiao made his way to the art exhibition at 8 in the morning the next day.


    This place was bigger than his initial expectations. When he walked inside, he could see spectators of all sorts. Everyone had an appreciative attitude to the exhibited pieces. All except the most insincere one¡ªhimself. Ning Yixiao suddenly thought all these were hilarious. He actually came here to try his luck just because of a something someone said offhandedly.


    But the contradictory part was that although he wholeheartedly hoped for them to truly meet, he didn¡¯t want them to really meet, for him to see him through a third person.


    This meant that there truly existed a connection between the third person and him ¡ª while for him and Su Hui, there was no link anymore.


    This was not a solo exhibition. On both floors of the exhibition hall, many artists¡¯ installation art pieces were arranged. The theme was ¡°your birth¡±.


    Ning Yixiao spent all of his time on work. After coming to America, he practically never came to such a place. He had no time to appreciate art ¡ª and was afraid of doing so.


    He avoided everything he could that could remind him of Su Hui. But even he hadn¡¯t expected that the moment this person showed up, all his efforts would fail. He would even use such underhanded tactics for a chance to get closer.


    While referring to the photograph Elvis sent, Ning Yixiao searched all around for traces of Liang Wen. It looked like he was unlucky. He seemed to have searched the entire first floor of the exhibit, but he still couldn¡¯t find him.


    While heading up to the second floor, he was just contemplating if he made an error in judgment when, right there, between the crowd of spectators and the art pieces, Ning Yixiao instantly caught sight of Su Hui.


    At this very moment, he did feel happy for Su Hui. Because Su Hui¡¯s dream certainly came true.


    But he didn¡¯t look like himself from yesterday.


    Ning Yixiao stood rooted to the spot, not taking another step further.


    Su Hui was just in the corner of the second floor. He had a small area of white space to install his art, and blue light was shining through.


    Broken butterflies hung in place with numerous thin strings. They were folded with white paper with faint words.


    Yet, the name of the art piece had no relation to butterflies. It was called ¡°Web¡±.


    Many installation arts were prominent because of their suspended pieces. So, many would often use light to turn those thin strings used for suspension invisible. But this piece was different. It was even the complete opposite, as it showcased all of the strings.


    Should you only observe the thousands of suspended butterflies, what you would see were just butterflies. But if you shifted your sight to the wall, you¡¯d notice the lights hitting on the meticulously designed ¡°web¡±. Looking at the shadows on the walls, you¡¯d find every single butterfly trapped by a complete thread, unable to achieve freedom.


    Ning Yixiao could understand. No matter if it was six years ago or six years later, he could understand Su Hui¡¯s art pieces.


    Butterflies were not just ¡®butterflies¡¯, but freedom.


    Facing the topic of ¡°your birth¡±, the answer that Su Hui gave was: freedom born within a prison.


    Backed by his gigantic and beautiful installation art, he donned a fluffy gray buttonless cardigan, with a very long and big colorful checkered scarf. As his face was very small and his jaw was completely covered by the scarf, he looked just like a student. But how pretty he was could still be seen at a glance.


    He was not like other artists who would passionately explain the core of their art pieces. Instead, he stood at the side quietly, hands lowered as his eyes gazed at the people who came to look at his piece.


    At this moment, Ning Yixiao¡¯s normal eyesight suddenly heightened to excellent degrees. He could see the tiniest expression on Su Hui¡¯s face. His nervousness and worry, the small satisfaction he had upon receiving approval. He could also see the gray green fountain pen in his hand as well as the number ¡°21¡± pasted on the wall behind him. Even though all these details were previously unnoticeable.


    But he could just perceive them so clearly.


    Ning Yixiao held back the thoughts in his mind, but he still couldn¡¯t help himself from taking another step forward to better see the artwork a little more clearly.


    Suddenly, he saw Su Hui turn his head. Like a frightened small animal, he took a small step back. But upon seeing who the visitor was, an unobvious smile appeared on his face.


    That was Liang Wen.


    When Ning Yixiao looked at his information, he also had the wishful thinking that perhaps he was just Su Hui¡¯s doctor. But this person in front of him¡ªthis young and promising doctor whose entire life had been smooth-sailing¡ªeven accompanied his patient to his private  work, and was bringing him hot tea, offering him gloves and even helping him straighten his scarf. Perhaps he would even drive Su Hui back home or to a hotel, or even let him stay the night at his own apartment.


    He was very curious whether a doctor needed to go this far.


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s legs seemed to be frozen on the original spot, as if they had suddenly turned into an exhibit for others to appreciate. If they did, he didn¡¯t have the qualifications to be one at all. He was not truly worth being placed here. It would only make people find it unbelievable and make them snicker.


    Realizing this, Ning Yixao turned around and walked down the stairs without another thought.


    Halfway through, he bumped into a boy who was dressed in a very heavy style of Christmas. The red and green checkered top reminded Ning Yixiao that it was Christmas Eve tonight.


    December 24th.


    It was his birthday.


    Upon discovering this, Ning Yixiao stopped in his tracks on the steps. Then he continued on his way down slowly, weaving through the many art pieces on the first floor. His composure and calmness were slowly repairing bit by bit in the depths of his heart until he walked out of the art exhibition center.


    When he seated himself in the car, Carl who had been waiting at the front passenger¡¯s seat turned his head, bringing up how a florist company was asking earlier if he had any flowers he preferred or was allergic to. Such client information would help them to tailor their service to their needs.


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s expression was very cold, and he was not speaking. This terrified Carl into not continuing.


    After a while longer, Carl attempted to put forth a suggestion. ¡°White roses should work¡­ Or daffodils. What do you think?¡±


    Ning Yixiao felt as though he couldn¡¯t breathe. He unbuttoned the top button on his shirt and rolled down the window.


    ¡°Anything works so long as it¡¯s not Chinese peonies.¡±


    Carl let out a sigh of relief. The flower his superior detested was not even in the options for consideration, so he happily said ¡°OK¡±, and reminded him, ¡°Shaw, it¡¯s not the season for Chinese peonies anymore.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked at the white snow outside the window.


    That was right. Summer was long gone.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    That afternoon, at the same time Ning Yixiao waited for his return flight to California at the VIP seating, he dialed a number based on information provided on a website.


    ¡°Hello. May I ask if you¡¯re the person in charge of the ¡®Your Birth¡¯ installation art exhibit?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I am. Is there anything I can help you with?¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked at the waiting airlines outside the full-length window and calmly responded, ¡°I want to purchase an art piece, the 21th one. There¡¯s no problem for me if you need me to go through an auction or if I can purchase it directly.¡±


    ¡°Oh, really? No auction process is required for this artwork. Are you a collector or¡­¡±


    ¡°Just a normal person. I happened to see it and like it very much.¡±


    ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll let you know the exact details of the transaction process. This is the first artwork to be purchased in this exhibition.¡± Their tone had a smile. ¡°If the artist knows that someone likes his artwork so much, he will most definitely be elated.¡±


    Ning Yixiao did not laugh.


    ¡°I would like to be anonymous.¡±


    ¡°Anonymous?¡± This demand was not that rare, so they accepted it very quickly. ¡°Of course. There¡¯s no problem with that. We will keep your personal information private. I look forward to you receiving the art piece that you adore.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    On his return flight to California, Ning Yixiao thought, this was because his 27th birthday was about to be over, so he purchased a birthday present for himself. This was not too much.


    This present was made by Su Hui. It made him remember Su Hui¡¯s smile earlier. It was not much different from that summer when they first met.


    As such, in the sky thirty thousand feet off the ground, for Ning Yixiao to dream of Su Hui from six years ago was not too foolish of him.


    The author has something to say:


    We¡¯re starting the flashback from the next chapter onwards (not the entire flashback. It¡¯ll be done in small sections. For example, we¡¯ll have 10-something chapters of flashbacks and then 10-something chapters of the present time) Thanks for everyone¡¯s support and comments~!


    Also, the reason why I labeled this novel as having an unclear main character [1] is because the point of view switches for this novel. In the first half, there¡¯ll be more from the POV of the top. And then more from the POV of the bottom. To be honest, the amount will be pretty equal, so I labeled it as unclear.


    ¡ª¡ª


    Translator Note:


    [1] JJWXC has a function where authors have to label their novels based on the main character. Some examples are ¡°the main character is the top¡±, ¡°the main character is the bottom¡±, ¡°main couple are switches¡±  and ¡°unclear main character¡±.

 CH 5

    Chapter 5: P. Making Sheep¡¯s Eyes


    He seemed to have been caught by something instinctively.


    Nearing the end of the semester, Ning Yixiao had been appointed as the new study council vice-president. And thus, he prepared to take over the senior who was leaving school upon graduation.


    After receiving the post, his first responsibility was to organize a Book-and-Movie event. It was an activity that was not considered related to studying to him.


    In truth, regardless of reading unnecessary books or watching movies, they were all activities Ning Yixiao never engaged in. All of his available time was dedicated to studying¡ªstudying for the sake of exams. Even his intention to join the student committee was to fight for extra marks and to build more connections.


    The professors loved students who had excellent grades, and instructors in charge of committees like this secretariat one for the Communist Youth League would always love students who are great event planners.


    Ning Yixiao disliked being an instructor for his peers. But he was willing to endure anything that could be a stepping stone for his otherwise dismal future. As for things outside of this, he did not even spare any time.


    The club booked an activity room for the Book-and-Movie event. The other club members went out of their way to purchase some books with the committee funds to decorate the venue.


    It rained that day. With this unpleasant weather, Ning Yixiao enthusiastically helped them move an entire box of books inside and then shelve them one by one.


    ¡°Thanks for your help, Yixiao. If not for you, we¡¯ll have to borrow a trolley from the block next door.¡±


    A warm smile was on Ning Yixiao¡¯s lips the entire time. ¡°It¡¯s nothing. No need to be so polite.¡±


    But she still did not stop praising him with kindness. Ning Yixiao then told her to turn on the air-conditioning as an excuse. ¡°The room feels very stuffy.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Now that he was the only one shelving the books, the smile vanished from Ning Yixiao¡¯s face. He tore away the plastic wrapping from the books in silence, listening to the abrupt thunder from beyond the windows.


    When he bent down to take another book from the box, he noticed a rather obvious line of words on its belly band:


    ¡°My entire life would be reduced merely to a petty


    battle to change my social class.¡± ¢Ù


    Ning Yixiao gazed quietly at it for a moment before he took off the belly band, folding it in half before tossing it in the nearby trash bin.


    ¡°Yixiao, help us to pass out the opinion cards.¡±


    ¡°Mhm, sure.¡± Ning Yixiao put the book in place before turning to approach them.


    Students attending the activity were coming in one by one. When they had almost filled up the small theater, Ning Yixiao walked onstage. With a smile, he introduced what they had planned for the Book-and Movie club while encouraging  everyone to enthusiastically engage in the discussion, even though he could not compel himself to spare any interest¡ªhe¡¯d rather spend another hour at his part-time job to earn money to pay off his debts.


    But this top high-ranked school never lacked students with passion for the arts. They were different from him. The majority of the people here were born with the resources for the best education. Geniuses had no need to struggle painfully in the sea of exam questions. They had ample time for character enrichment.


    The seated audience naturally split themselves into groups, sharing their books. At this, Ning Yixiao relaxed. He did not need to exhaust more effort in the book-reading segment in the first half.


    While everyone was engaged in the discussion, he simply sat at the side, preparing his lesson plans using the computer in the activity room.


    Math tutoring for second-year middle-schoolers paid off half of his daily expenses and was also the most relaxed source of income out of all his jobs.


    ¡°Yixiao, when will we put the movie on?¡± When it was halfway through the event, club member Li Cong walked over, inquiring in a whisper, ¡°How about we wait 10 minutes?¡±


    Ning Yixiao gave him a smile, eyes remaining on the computer screen as he responded with a light-hearted tone, ¡°Sure.¡± After he typed the last formula, he closed the document and stood up to make space for Li Cong. ¡°Have you copied the file?¡±


    ¡°Not yet. I¡¯ll do it now,¡± Li Cong answered.


    When the preparatory work was done, Ning Yixiao got up to turn off all the lights, and Li Cong clicked play. The projector lit up. The movie had begun.


    This was an enigmatic autobiographical film ¡ª The Mirror. It began with a lengthy telephoto shot. Like an oil painting, a vast open field of blue and purple flowers appeared, rural village¡¯s thicket and houses, a woman smoking on the fence, a cryptic monologue in the background.


    The movie utilized strong and powerful winds, the intensity making Ning Yixiao begin to ponder if this was simply a coincidence during filming or if it was man-made, and what method could be used to create such strong air currents.


    The entire field undulated like a viridescent ocean.


    Ning Yixiao and Li Cong stood at the side against the wall, occasionally peeking at the projector.


    He was contemplating in seriousness. Could it be a helicopter?


    Right at this time, the closed theater door suddenly emitted a loud creak. The door gap slowly widened. A boy walked in with delicate movements, turning around to close the door.


    When he turned back, his drenched face was splashed with the fantastical colors of an oil painting. Likely from running through the rain, he was panting slightly, chest heaving.


    Lightning flashed beyond the window, illuminating clearly his damp brows and eyes.


    Ning Yixiao seemed to have been instinctively captured by something.


    In the film, the man was reciting a monologue in Russian without much rise and fall in his tone, the subtitles rolling by.


    ¡°We celebrated as an epiphany


    Alone in the whole world


    More daring and lighter than a bird


    Down the stairs, like a dizzy apparition


    You came to take me on your road


    Through rain soaked lilacs


    To your own possession¡± ¢Ú


    Ning Yixiao missed the poem¡¯s translation. But his future self could never ever forget this scene where Su Hui had appeared in the dimly lit theater room.


    Such that hereafter, in a myriad of thoughts and dreams, he re-created this scene repeatedly.


    While the changing lights and shadows escorted  the intruder in each step he took towards the back row, so did Ning Yixiao¡¯s gaze. He did not even notice that his stare lasted forever and a day ¡ª until Li Cong at his side elbowed him.


    ¡°Hey, did you see that person?¡±


    Li Cong¡¯s hushed voice was half-drowned by the film¡¯s music.


    Ning Yixiao lowered his head rather awkwardly. It was two seconds later before he responded quietly, ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°That person who just came in. Su Hui. You know him, right?¡± Li Cong¡¯s grin contained some mocking and teasing, but it was not obvious.


    Ning Yixiao only shook his head and subconsciously grinned along with him. ¡°Is it possible for me to know everyone?¡±


    ¡°True. You¡¯re in computer studies. Since your faculty is far away, it¡¯s normal not to know him. He¡¯s a weird guy. Really freaky.¡±


    Li Cong¡¯s word choices to describe Su Hui right off the bat was making Ning Yixiao a little unhappy. But he did not show it.


    Li Cong did not notice. When a student in the front row gave him an eye, he took out his phone to message Ning Yixiao on WeChat.


    [Admin-Li Cong: Hes the same school as me, but not the same major. He does finance. But our schools finance major is so stressful, the way they just wish they could have 48 hours to use in 24 hours every day


    But him? He takes days off without warning and sometimes he just vanishes for two months straight. Last year he even deferred his studies. Idk if he has weak health or hates studying. But its really weird. He took exams and his grades were all pretty good.]


    After reading the messages, Ning Yixiao looked up, subconsciously looking in Su Hui¡¯s direction. He was leaning back on the chair, wiping away the wetness from his cheeks with tissues, staring at the screen attentively. His eyes were very big.


    The light from the burning fire in the film was reflected on his face, in his eyes, powdering his far-too-pale face in a layer of amorous red.


    [Admin-Li Cong: I heard he doesnt like this major. I think he requested to transfer to another major and the request was accepted, but he didnt go. I dont get it. Maybe this is just a young master¡¯s willfulness.]


    [Ning Yixiao: A young master?]


    [Admin-Li Cong: I heard that he was born in a family that¡¯s already at the finishing line for others, having power and money. Im not sure either though. I just heard a little. But anyway he just has a strong background. Who knows if he even got into T Uni by himself]


    Such speculation was already contradictory to the reality that Li Cong mentioned earlier, Ning Yixiao thought.


    Since he received good grades in histhe examinations he took, then he was not someone who would get accepted to a school through family connections.


    Albeit even if he himself detested this type of person the most.


    There were all kinds and sorts of people in the world. Beginning from the moment of birth, they seemed to have participated in a gamble with no going back. And this gamble was not fair either as some would be given a set of good cards from the start, while others could only receive bad cards and even had no choice but to use them.


    His phone vibrated again.


    [Admin-Li Cong: Oh right. Theres something really funny too. This person¡­ looks pretty okay. Whats weird is that not only girls confess to him. Theres plenty of guys too. You know that anonymous confession page, right?]


    Ning Yixiao replied that he didn¡¯t. He didn¡¯t even have the time to look at those things.


    Li Cong thought that was unbelievable and laughed.


    [Admin-Li Cong: that cant be. Youre a common name on there, you know. I feel like other than you, its little young master Su. Oh right, and theres that new first-year junior in your computer studies major with the surname Xia. That one who doesnt like to smile. His photo from the military training has spread everywhere]


    Ning Yixiao remembered that junior. He was the one receiving him back then too. But right at this moment, his mind was just full of Su Hui, even if he was not looking at him.


    [Admin-Li Cong: even without talking about the anonymous confession page, the little young master was wooed by a guy in the humanities school for a few months. He was practically wooing him like a stalker. Almost even stopping him in the washroom. I just dont get it at all. Why did he like him so much? What kind of charm does that dude have?]


    Ning Yixiao locked his screen and did not continue chatting with him. Li Cong didn¡¯t talk about Su Hui afterwards either and just rattled off about mindless drivel. For example, about how his phone screen was cracked to this extent but he still hadn¡¯t changed it.


    But Ning Yixiao¡¯s attention had already completely shifted.


    Under the dim environment of the theater, Su Hui, who took a seat in the back row alone, looked isolated from the others. Reticent and conscientious.


    He had a face that was very easy to remember.


    In the past, Ning Yixiao believed that he would not use ¡°pretty¡± or ¡°beautiful¡± to describe a man, but now, he rectified his understanding. These words could define Su Hui.


    The emotions that arose as a result of the gossip left Ning Yixiao in no mood to appreciate the film.


    When the film ended and everyone discussed in soft whispers, he finally recovered his mental faculties, handling the closing segment with a matter-of-fact air with the other members: he collected the opinion cards from the other membersm.


    Perhaps it was out of a subconscious decision, but Ning Yixiao headed to the section where Su Hui was seated and started collecting from the first row before heading to the back. A smile stayed on his face. It looked sufficiently friendly and kind.


    Until he finally stood next to Su Hui. A book laid on the desk, as though Su Hui had just taken one from the shelf next to him.


    ¡°This student, have you written your opinion card yet?¡±


    Su Hui looked up, gaze meeting his, eyes pure and honest. ¡°Oof, but I don¡¯t have one though.¡±


    His voice quality was incredibly charming to his ears, the last note rising slightly in pitch. It sounded very innocent.


    Only then did Ning Yixiao suddenly remember. ¡°Oh, sorry. I forgot you only arrived afterwards. I¡¯ll give you one now.¡±


    He turned, intending to head to the lectern, but hadn¡¯t expected Su Hui to grab the edge of his shirt.


    ¡°Ah, wait.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked back. First, he glanced down at his shirt that was grabbed and then peered back at Su Hui.


    Su Hui let go and laughed. ¡°You moved too quickly.¡±


    Watching him flip through the book in front of him, only then did Ning Yixiao notice that there was a piece of tissue tucked inside it.


    ¡°Here.¡± He gave the tissue written with words to him. His smile was very adorable. ¡°This is my feedback card.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± The soft napkin still held some moisture. Like him, drizzled and hazy. The words written by a ballpoint pen were beautiful and clear.


    Ning Yixiao sharply caught sight of the written content.


    [I like the wind in the movie very much.]


    ¡°No problem.¡± Su Hui¡¯s tone was tender.


    People were leaving the theater one by one, leaving behind a scarce few.


    This time, Ning Yixiao did not immediately leave upon receiving the napkin. He couldn¡¯t explain why, but he just subconsciously stood at the same spot. Until Li Cong called his name.


    ¡°Yixiao, have you collected them all yet?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Ning Yixiao turned back to respond. In that instant he planned to leave, Su Hui stood up too.


    He could hear Su Hui¡¯s very soft question. ¡°Do you want my number?¡±


    Ning Yixiao stopped mid-step. He thought he had misheard. He turned back to look at Su Hui, bewilderment in his gaze. ¡°What?¡±


    Su Hui did not reply. He only gave him a very childish smile.


    At this moment, Ning Yixiao seemed to be drawn into an illusion.


    The two of them were standing in that vast grassland. Above them, a helicopter¡¯s propellers swiftly oscillated.


    Fleeting gales of wind were fanning the scent of rain from Su Hui, along with his unapproachable elegance and beauty, towards Ning Yixiao¡¯s chest.


    ¡°You were staring at me for so long earlier.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    It¡¯s basically crush at first sight


    (Xiao Hui is currently in a mania episode right now. For the specifics, everyone can google bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness)


    ¢ÙOriginates from the Neapolitan Novels


    ¢ÚOriginates from the movie ¡°The Mirror¡± (Tarkovsky)


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: this whole chapter. hella gay.


    Cao: it goes like this:


    NYX: I will hold myself back


    Su Hui: I won¡¯t let you

 CH 6

    Chapter 6: P. Malicious Gossip


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, you have a mole here.¡±


    Ning Yixiao was taken aback.


    He hadn¡¯t expected his overattention would be noticed by Su Hui.


    Seeing Ning Yixiao¡¯s reaction, a smile played on Su Hui¡¯s lips. The topic suddenly changed then. ¡°This student, do you have an umbrella? I don¡¯t want to get wet in the rain again.¡±


    That startled Ning Yixiao. Then he nodded. ¡°I do.¡±


    He handed Li Cong all of the opinion cards in his hand. Under Li Cong¡¯s clearly odd gaze, he turned and walked towards Su Hui.


    The two left the room, walking shoulder-to-shoulder in the hallway full of passersby. Neither of them spoke. They simply walked in silence.


    There was a downpour outside, leaving a crowd squeezed together by the entrance at the end of the hallway. Ning Yixiao opened the umbrella, giving Su Hui some space for him to step in.


    The distance between the two immediately shortened to one where their arms touched. Ning Yixiao couldn¡¯t quite get used to it. With worry unintentionally sprouting in his subconscious, he tilted the umbrella.


    Su Hui¡¯s collar was very large. As he walked, it exposed many parts of his skin. Ning Yixiao accidentally discovered some bruises at his neck area that looked like traces from a rope.


    Noticing that he was staring again, Ning Yixiao looked up, fixing his eyes.


    The umbrella was not huge. The good thing was that it was not windy outside. The rain had already formed small puddles. Looking down, he discovered Su Hui was wearing a pair of snow-white canvas shoes. Just by looking at the brand, he knew it was not cheap. Now that they were drenched, it was undoubtedly a pity.


    Meanwhile, he himself was wearing a pair of sports shoes so old that its original color could not be recovered no matter how it was washed. The pant legs of this pair of old jeans were also soaked by water. He¡¯d have to wash it for a very long time when he went back.


    ¡°Where are you heading?¡± Ning Yixiao looked at him. ¡°I¡¯ll bring you to your dorm?¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s eyes were lowered, his face so wan it appeared translucent, with green vessels faintly visible. His long eyelashes hung down heavily. With his entire face shrouded in water vapor, it appeared indistinct.


    ¡°I don¡¯t stay in the dorms.¡± Su Hui avoided a small puddle cautiously. He looked up, glimpsing Ning Yixiao¡¯s drenched right shoulder. ¡°I don¡¯t have a dorm.¡±


    These two sentences appeared to mean the same thing, but also seemed different.


    As long as their pair of eyes met, Su Hui would show that sort of straightforward childishness, as though he had never suffered ¡ª that he was someone who grew up while given overwhelming affection.


    ¡°Can you send me to the electronic reading room in the library?¡± Su Hui said, ¡°I want to stay there for a while.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re still wet. It¡¯s best to first change to another set of clothes.¡± Ning Yixiao glanced at him. The blue T-shirt was completely sticking to Su Hui¡¯s body.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. I won¡¯t get sick. I practically never catch colds. The last time I caught one was a year ago. And that was because the weather that summer was really strange. It was clearly still a hot 38 degrees the day before, but the next day, it suddenly dropped. Plus, I went to learn how to swim that day. Although I didn¡¯t manage to learn it¡­¡±


    He didn¡¯t stay in the dorms, yet he wasn¡¯t going home, and he even very frankly pointed out the fact that he was staring at him. And now he was talking about the weather and activity he did last summer.


    He was derailing through the topics so suddenly.


    Listening to Su Hui talk, Ning Yixiao discovered that he practically had no space to interject.


    When he had sent him to the library, Su Hui finally stopped jumping through his flight of ideas too.


    Only now did Ning Yixiao speak up. He smiled. ¡°You really are a weird person.¡±


    Su Hui seemed to be very used to hearing such commentary, so he didn¡¯t even plan on refuting. He just gazed into his eyes.


    Once again, he gave Ning Yixiao a completely unguarded smile and took out another napkin from his pocket, handing it to him.


    Ning Yixiao took it and noticed two lines were written. The first was a phone number. And the second was his WeChat contact.


    ¡°You are too.¡± Su Hui walked up the steps to the library and spun himself around. He gazed at the droplets falling from the roof, reaching out to cup some rainwater. ¡°You are very weird too.¡±


    Ning Yixiao heard this, but before he could say anything in response, Su Hui reached out again, his finger pointing at the corner of Ning Yixiao¡¯s eye. It was only a few millimeters away from touching.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, you have a mole here.¡± He changed the topic again. But his tone was serious as if he was studying something.


    Ning Yixiao was disconcerted. The pitter-pattering of rain on the umbrella sounded particularly deafening.


    This was so strange.


    ¡°I¡¯m going. See you.¡±


    Su Hui didn¡¯t seem to need a response to his words.


    He headed towards the side entrance. But he looked back midway, eyes curved as he whispered to him a thank you. Then he turned back, shaking away the water on his hair like a small animal, and vanished after turning the corner.


    As if awakened from the dream, Ning Yixiao came back to his senses. He gripped the napkin in his hand, shoving it in his pocket without taking another look.


    He wanted to know why Su Hui thought he was strange, why Su Hui would notice his gaze, notice he was looking at him, and why he would give him his contact.


    The deluge was getting increasingly heavy. But Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t seem to have noticed. He even forgot his initial plan. He almost reached his dormitory when he remembered he had to hurriedly head to the house of the student he was tutoring.


    Reaching late, apologizing, receiving the student¡¯s grades, beginning to his job of guiding the student, discussing with the student¡¯s parent, and rushing to the location of his next job ¡ª these were all things no different from before.


    After changing out of the cafe uniform, Ning Yixiao took the last bus that only had three people back to school. He opened the window. The cool petrichor drifted past, calming down his heart that had been slightly unsettled the entire day.


    His hand reached for his pocket, taking out that napkin, but discovered that the words had been soaked by water, leaving them impossible to decipher. After he looked straight at it, the glinting sharp sword that seemed suspended above his head the entire day had finally vanished.


    This feeling left him feeling apprehensive.


    When he was back in the dormitory, Ning Yixiao opened the lock to the drawer of his desk, taking out a very old book. He flipped it open and began recording that day¡¯s expenditures. Then he calculated the days to his payday and the remaining debts, feeling unable to catch his breath.


    It was still a very heavy day. But something seemed different. Ning Yixiao closed his eyes on his bed, remembering something in the darkness.


    Feigning nonchalance, he brought up Su Hui to his roommates then. But he only received comments similar to what Li Cong said.


    There was even a roommate who offered a piece of gossip that was even more private.


    ¡°I heard his personal life is really wanton and he makes friends easily. But he likes to sleep with guys more.¡±


    ¡°Are you serious? That¡¯s really disgusting. I¡¯m gonna throw up.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to die of laughter. Su Hui really slept with guys? The girls I like even liked him before¡­¡±


    ¡°Why did Yixiao suddenly bring him up today? Don¡¯t tell me you¡­¡±


    ¡°No way! Our Handsome Ning¡¯s been completely living the monk life these few years of uni, OK? He never even got close to girls, so guys are even less likely. Right, Yixiao?¡±


    Ning Yixiao listened to their laughter and discussion, pretending to be asleep. This was not the first time such topics were discussed in the boy¡¯s dorms. Usually, he would agree or chuckle a few times with them, pretending to be a part of them.


    But today, his face remained cold in the dark. He did not laugh.


    There were many things he wanted to say, but he held his silence, swallowing the words back.


    The next time he saw Su Hui was on an afternoon the week after. That day happened to be one where he had not signed up for an optional course, and the student he was tutoring had requested a day off too. So, his afternoon had coincidentally been freed up. Ning Yixiao decided to use this rare free time to revise English in the self-study room in preparation for the TOEFL exam.


    He planned to take it only once and to succeed in this one time. It was not easy to fork out 2100 yuan for the exam fee. Ning Yixiao had no going back.


    It was in this self-study room that he met Su Hui once again. Except, the other did not seem to have noticed him. A small pathway separated them, and he was diagonally in front of him. If Ning Yixiao looked at his periphery, he could see the side of Su Hui¡¯s face.


    When Su Hui studied, he looked more serious than he had expected ¡ª he did not even take a sip of water throughout the entire afternoon. The textbooks of his major were extremely thick, and when he flipped through them, it exposed pages full of notes and post-its. Incredible seriousness colored his face when he hit the keyboard too.


    Nearing dinnertime, the originally packed self-study room gradually emptied out. The students left one by one, leaving only the two of them in the end.


    The air was still. Ning Yixiao packed his things, carried his school bag and left without saying a word.


    At night, while he worked his shift in the cafe, Su Hui¡¯s side profile kept reappearing in front of his eyes. The afternoon light on him, the soft down on his skin, and how he looked when he leaned back on his chair in exhaustion, his eyes closed and face upraised.


    This troubled Ning Yixiao. And it even caused him to make newbie mistakes when taking orders.


    It started raining outside again. But it was not a heavy one. As he headed back to school, Ning Yixiao ran through the empty tree-lined path. The dim yellow lamp light seemed to have muddled his sense of direction, leading him back to the school of sciences building where he did self-study.


    Likely from the run, Ning Yixiao¡¯s heart was beating rapidly after climbing the stairs. But in the instant he entered the classroom, he suddenly calmed down.


    There was only a bespectacled boy in the classroom. Hearing him as he came in, he raised his head in slight bewilderment.


    Ning Yixiao averted his gaze, returning to the table he used in the afternoon. Putting his bag down, he glanced at the seat Su Hui took earlier. But now it was unoccupied.


    The rules of overnight self-study were written on the whiteboard. The ceiling lights were so glaringly bright. The winds carried the rain in, so Ning Yixiao got up, planning to close the window.


    While standing next to the third-story window, he suddenly noticed someone squatting by the streetlamp downstairs. Holding a transparent umbrella, his other hand held half a sausage as he fed the stray dog taking shelter under his umbrella.


    Probably since his clothes were very familiar, Ning Yixiao instantly recognized Su Hui. Despite the distance between them, he could still unmistakably see Su Hui¡¯s curved eyes as he softly patted the puppy¡¯s head.


    He shut the window and sat down to read.


    Not long later, a sound came from the self-study room¡¯s door. A third person had walked in. Without even looking up, Ning Yixiao could still guess that it was Su Hui.


    When he caught sight of Su Hui¡¯s figure as he sat himself down but spotted no umbrella with him, Ning Yixiao turned his head and saw that the puppy outside the window was still hiding under the transparent umbrella.


    Though it was entirely inappropriate, Ning Yixiao suddenly recalled the rumors that Li Cong and his roommates had said and then remembered how Su Hui looked when squeezed next to him underneath his umbrella.


    In the quiet atmosphere, he buried himself in the test questions, no longer looking at Su Hui¡¯s side profile.


    Each minute and second ticked by. About two in the morning, that bespectacled boy left the classroom. Only the two of them sat in the room.


    During this time, Su Hui did not glance back a single time.


    Ning Yixiao finished two sets of papers and put on his earphones, beginning to work on his listening.


    Each different part-time job he squeezed into his schedule had drained his energy. The moment he stopped moving the pen in his hand, his mind would become beyond exhausted and difficult to work, tottering on the edge of a cliff towards a deep slumber.


    He did not remember when he fell asleep. But when he woke up again, he could faintly see daylight. In his blurred vision, the entire room seemed to be soaked in the light blue color of the sea in utter silence.


    His gaze moved to the seat where Su Hui had sat. It was empty. That woke Ning Yixiao up completely. He pushed himself up with his numbed arms.


    ¡°Awake?¡±


    He heard that quiet, gentle voice again. It felt like it had been a very, very long time. Only when he looked over did he see Su Hui who stood by the window.


    Su Hui was smiling, taking down a cigarette from his lips that he had yet to light as he gave him an extremely pure and innocent smile.


    Feeling a little dazed, Ning Yixiao did not respond, simply gazing at Su Hui quietly.


    Su Hui looked down, stuffing the slim long cigarette back into the black cigarette box before looking up at him.


    ¡°You were so sound asleep.¡± He laughed as he kept the cigarette box. ¡°I¡¯m envious of your sleep quality.¡±


    A newly awakened Ning Yixio appeared cranky. He stared at Su Hui for a while before looking at the wall clock after half a beat, discovering that it was four-thirty in the morning.


    In his fixed mindset, smokers were never associated with pleasant descriptions: coarse, brutish, depraved, lowly.


    Su Hui was none of these. Yet, he suited the cigarette well.


    Indistinct rays of daybreak shrouded his jade-white face, his slim fingers clasping a thin cigarette like collecting a piece of moonlight.


    ¡°I was worried you won¡¯t wake up, so I was planning to wait for you while I smoked.¡± Su Hui picked up his school bag placed on the windowsill. ¡°It seems a little unsafe to leave you sleeping here alone.¡±


    He carried his school bag and gave Ning Yixiao a pretty smile. ¡°Since you¡¯re awake, I¡¯m going now.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s ending words gave off a sort of natural intimacy. It was likely a trace of having grown up while showered with love.


    Probably due to the disconcertment of having just woken up, Ning Yixiao spoke up and stopped him all of a sudden.


    ¡°Where are you going?¡±


    Su Hui clearly seemed confused as well. He stopped in his steps and looked back. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ going back?¡±


    Ning Yixiao glanced at the time again and his mind immediately woke up. He gave that smile he always did. ¡°Your dorm doesn¡¯t have curfew hours?¡±


    Su Hui did not deny it. After a moment, he responded with a question, ¡°What about you?¡±


    ¡°The curfew ends at six.¡± Ning Yixiao packed the books on his table into his school bag that was so old that the corners had holes from use. He stood up then, looking at Su Hui with an amicable smile. ¡°Hungry?¡±


    Su Hui stared at Ning Yixiao quietly, watching him approach him with each step before he finally nodded. ¡°Mhm.¡±


    It was too early. There was not a single cafeteria in school that was open at four-thirty, so they could only go out and sit down at the KFC nearest to the school gate.


    Ning Yixiao practically never dined outside and so, was not too familiar with KFC¡¯s menu. He spent a little more time looking before finally ordering the cheapest breakfast set. Then he waited at the food collection counter at the side, his body half-turned in a way that happened to let him see Su Hui making payment.


    It was extremely different from what he imagined. Su Hui who was rumored to have a rich background was actually taking out rather few notes and coins from his pocket and giving them to the cashier, his movements even slower than his own.


    He found that odd, but upon further thought, Su Hui was just a strange person in the first place.


    After receiving his food, Ning Yixiao found a seat by the window. Not long later, Su Hui came too, hand holding a cup of coffee and a red bean pie.


    Ning Yixiao did not show too much interest and ate his own food. He discovered that Su Hui looked a lot like a small animal when he ate. Taking small bites after small bites, lips closed and making no sound ¡ª but he looked like he was enjoying the food very much.


    He finished that red bean pie very quickly and downed half of the coffee.


    After staring at him for a while, Ning Yixiao still could not resist asking him, ¡°Are you only eating so little?¡±


    Su Hui flattened the wrapping paper of the pie and then nodded.


    ¡°You¡¯re full?¡± Ning Yixiao asked again.


    Su Hui met his gaze for a few seconds and then chose to very honestly shake his head.


    ¡°Eat this.¡± Ning Yixiao pushed the mushroom chicken congee in his meal to him. His tone was gentle. ¡°I haven¡¯t touched it yet. I¡¯m not very hungry.¡±


    Su Hui paused. He did not immediately take it, but upon further urging from Ning Yixiao, only picked up the spoon to slowly take each sip.


    When he was halfway through, Ning Yixiao asked, ¡°You didn¡¯t bring money?¡±


    Su Hui rather seriously picked at the mushrooms in the bowl and avoided them carefully. ¡°I brought a little. Not much.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have any in your phone?¡± Ning Yixiao asked again.


    Su Hui didn¡¯t seem to find him a strange person trying to glean answers to everything and instead nodded frankly, ¡°No, I don¡¯t though.¡±


    He wore the most branded clothes, and even the price of his school bag made others suck in a deep breath, and had a chauffeur driving him to and  from school. Yet, he only carried a little money and even the Alipay feature in his phone had been disabled. These were too weird.


    But Su Hui¡¯s expression and that small tone in his response seemed to be proving the truth of these words.


    ¡°Then where did you get your cigarettes from?¡± Ning Yixiao asked.


    Su Hui pursed his lips, stirring the warm congee with the spoon. ¡°I bought the pack. Because I bought cigarettes, bought an umbrella and even bought some books, I¡¯ve kind of spent almost all the money I have,¡±


    He spoke as he moved the heavy school bag that was next to him on his thighs. He unzipped it to show Ning Yixiao and even told him that many of the books inside were ones he really liked and had to wait really long for the stock to arrive.


    He even bought a sausage for a stray dog.


    Ning Yixiao did not really register what Su Hui said. He remembered how he squatted by the street lamp but did not expose this fact.


    After finishing the congee, Su Hui thanked him very sincerely and then told him, ¡°Normally at such times, they don¡¯t really give me money. They¡¯re worried I¡¯ll spend it too carelessly.¡±


    Ning Yixiao glanced at the bowl. It was cleaned out quite well, so only a layer of mushroom pieces was left.


    He did not understand who the ¡°they¡± Su Hui mentioned referred to and what ¡°such times¡± meant.


    Su Hui had too many secrets he did not know, and he didn¡¯t seem to plan on telling him either.


    Before he could continue asking, Su Hui seemed to have shut the door of providing answers. He zipped up his bag and smiled at Ning Yixiao. ¡°I¡¯ll transfer you the money for the congee. I remember that you added me, right?¡±


    These words strangely soured Ning Yixiao¡¯s mood.


    So, Su Hui did not even remember if he had added him at all. Or should he say that Su Hui could not even count how many people had received his contact the way Ning Yixiao did.


    Ning Yixiao did not deny it and grabbed his bag, standing up. He gently rejected him. ¡°No need.¡±


    He picked up his tray and lowered his head to give him that usual smile.


    ¡°Treat me to a drink the next time we meet.¡±


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: u sour NYX?


    Cao: vinegar


    Cai: Drinking his own smfh

 CH 7

    Chapter 7: P. Two-Way Chance Encounter


    His name had a sort of romantic tragic tint.


    The day that he met Ning Yixiao was Su Hui¡¯s worst day in the recent year.


    In the middle of his depressive episode, in the early hours a day before, the thought of suicide seized him. So, he made many decisions, burning midnight oil to finish the books he had put aside, watering every plant in the garden, returning to school upon dawn to submit his completed homework and returning all the books he owed.


    He suffered bipolar disorder for many years now. During his manic episodes, it did not affect his life generally. He was even happier and more motivated than usual. He could make up for all of his studies that he had fallen behind on within a single breath. But during his depressive episodes, he was practically unable to do a single thing; he couldn¡¯t go to school either.


    That led to yet another two months of not attending school. In the past, his classmates would still ask him what illness he had gotten this time. But now, they had gotten used to it. Only one girl expressed surprise at his abrupt return and even asked a few questions in concern. In response, Su Hui gave her some candies that he had brought, leaving only one for himself.


    Since he was young, Su Hui¡¯s family told him not to tell others about having bipolar disorder so easily.


    No one would like you like that. Everyone would be prejudiced against you, and be wary of you. They said this, so Su Hui had never explained himself.


    His maternal grandfather had more than simple connections with this university¡¯s heads. But this relationship was only utilized to apply for his absences, find excuses for the occasional deference of his studies and cycle through all sorts and types of illnesses without any repetition. In the eyes of outsiders, he was just an utterly weak person riddled with illnesses and whose whole existence was a burden.


    That was true though, Su Hui thought.


    He ticked off each item in his plan and finally walked towards the second gate, constructed from green bricks with white pillars. He leaned against the sign and finished a cigarette. Then he used a bike rental service and left without another thought.


    Whenever it was such times, Su Hui would be shrouded in shadows. Even if the weather was so ridiculously pleasant, sunny and adorned with white clouds, if he recalled the day, he could only remember the dull gray roads and the sun that sought to melt everyone.


    His limbs were numb. And he was well aware that his current state was not suitable for cycling. But he still stubbornly rode the bike. He believed this to be the terminal lucidity before death.


    The stiff wheels rolled bit by bit. Traces of wind had finally started up.


    Without a goal in mind, Su Hui found himself like a damaged airplane without a chance of self-recovery, relentlessly plummeting towards the surging crowd on the roads.


    So, unsurprisingly, he fiercely slammed into the lush and verdant construct, and fell off the bike.


    Wounded, Su Hui curled up on the ground for a long while. His wrists and knees were scraped, but he could not feel the pain. When his consciousness slowly converged back together, he pushed himself up from the ground, picking up his baseball cap, and very stubbornly propped up the bicycle and pushed it aside.


    For no reason at all, he felt thirsty. The feeling was practically intolerable, made even more so by the endless honking coming from the road. So, he leaned the bicycle against a tree, gazing at some shops by the road, feeling at a loss.


    During periods of depression, he had apparent reading impairment, reinforced after being medicated. The words would look enlarged, and he¡¯d need a very long time to read very ordinary words. He even spent the entire night just reading the conclusion of a book.


    After choosing a cafe, Su Hui made his way there, back straight but pace slow.


    Air-conditioning welcomed him through the gap left by the glass door, awakening some vitality in his stiff limbs.


    He did not wait for too long in the order queue before it was his turn. Su Hui pushed down his cap quite low and wore a mask, not looking up at the cashier. He very quietly said he wanted a latte. But remembering that he had taken his medication, he added that he wanted it made with plant-based milk.


    The good thing was that the cashier did not mind his slow-paced speech and asked very kindly, ¡°Plant-based milk, right? May I ask if you need ice?¡±


    The employee¡¯s voice was very pleasant to the ear. Su Hui had spaced out for a moment and did not reply. It was when the employee had quietly repeated himself that he nodded.


    ¡°Alright. Please have a seat while waiting. I¡¯ll bring your order to you in a moment.¡±


    Forgetting to take the receipt and the order number plate extended to him, Su Hui turned and sluggishly found a corner window seat.


    From start to end, he did not notice his wounds were bleeding. He gazed outside the window without a thought, eyes staring at the hurrying passersby.


    Under the glaring sun, there were few who donned happy smiles.


    To be honest, Su Hui didn¡¯t want to see these. In his final moments, he wanted to see thriving, flourishing grass under the wind, or stand at a cliff, watching waterfalls that came from the sky and have water that surged far more than rain splashing on his skin.


    Or perhaps, the sea. The sea, boundless in his eyes.


    But he contemplated again. Even if he saw them right now, he probably could not feel the beauty of vitality. That would be a complete waste.


    As he spaced out, Su Hui heard the sound of a food plate placed gently on the table. But he did not look back in time.


    ¡°This is your latte made with plant-based milk. Please enjoy.¡±


    It was this voice again.


    Su Hui was sure it was the same person, but he had looked back half a beat slower and only caught sight of his back. He just stared like this the whole time until he saw the owner of the voice stand at the cashier. He turned and revealed a handsome face.


    This was a face that fitted that voice extremely well. It would give one privy to many warm daydreams.


    Su Hui lowered his face, wanting to take a sip. But only then did he notice a few plasters placed on the food plate. They had cartoon rabbits on them¡ªvery incongruous to that person¡¯s appearance.


    He turned his wrists over, gazing at his bleeding wounds and the beating veins in silence.


    Half an hour later, Su Hui changed his mind. Like how he had delayed his reading of books, he very simply readjusted his plans.


    He put his remaining piece of candy on the food plate and left the cafe.


    But the appearance of such a person¡ªthis minute piece of kindness¡ªwas only a slight ripple that occasionally appeared in a swamp of dead waters. It could not save a decaying life.


    Upon reaching home, Su Hui placed all the plasters in his drawer and never opened it again.


    Such drawn-out suffering was slowly eating away at Su Hui¡¯s desires. He lay on his bed for a full day, not even drinking a drop of water. Even getting up was difficult. But at midnight, through the full-length glass window, Su Hui suddenly noticed a rope left behind in the garden. As if something had prickled him hard, he ferociously pulled himself to his feet.


    Once he was back in his room, Su Hui tied the rope around his neck and tightened it unfeelingly.


    The most alarming part was that he even turned on a camera to record the whole process, including the one where he was interrupted by his family¡¯s housekeeper.


    After the incident, Su Hui played the video and saw his bleary-eyed mother, who had also hurried over, embracing him, sobbing while hitting and yelling at him. He did not feel much.


    He believed he was entrapped.


    But Su Hui did not carry out a second attempt of such a decisive suicide. Because he would always recall those rabbit plasters.


    This extended time-frame of a cruelly low period ended abruptly as well. Lacking any transitional period, any turning point, nor the slightest chance to buffer. Su Hui simply entered the stage of light hypomania directly.


    The excitement brought by his illness was akin to shoving him into a roller-coaster through the clouds, sharply hurtling up towards the skies, but it was as if his feet never reached the ground and could float endlessly in the sea of clouds.


    Every time, during this period, Su Hui would always experience the most immense positive feelings about himself. He was always excitable, believing he was invincible. The pride from being raised in an excellent family was magnified, impossible to be hidden.


    Even if the time he attended school may not even add up to a semester¡¯s worth, the spread of numerous rumors reached his ears too.


    The only person he could confide in was his own housekeeper. When she heard that, she was greatly saddened. She hugged Su Hui and gently soothed his back, asking if he felt upset.


    ¡°They exaggerated it too much. Auntie Chen, no one in school has even hugged me like you¡¯re doing right now.¡±


    He hadn¡¯t even been like the other normal boys¡ªslinging an arm around another¡¯s shoulders at the fields, holding hands with someone, or hugging someone. How could he have even done so much more?


    But there was no way to trace the origins of the rumors. Perhaps it was a suitor whom he had rejected, or perhaps it was someone else. Whoever it was, Su Hui didn¡¯t mind either.


    When he was browsing through the school website, he found a video by chance. It was last year¡¯s top scholarship speech debate.


    The first person who appeared happened to be that boy who gave him the plasters in that cafe. He had a very pleasant-sounding name ¡ª Ning Yixiao (ÄþÒ»Ïü).


    This name had a sort of romantic and tragic tint. It was like he was someone who would give up everything for their love, one who would rather (Äþ) have just one night (Ò»Ïü).


    But in this debate, what he demonstrated was bright like the sun, exuding confidence and astounding intelligence. Even if he wore nondescript clothes, he could still grab everyone¡¯s attention. The data on his preparation papers that signified his success, as well as his patents and dissertations and such, all further proved his excellence.


    This intelligent man had a name that was completely unbefitting of this.


    During hypomania episodes, it was rare for Su Hui to be so focused on this. He gazed at the smile on his face and listened attentively to his speech, contradictory emotions swelling up in him.


    Both ¡°meetings¡± seemed to be one-sided. Ning Yixiao did not seem to know of his existence.


    This looked coincidental, yet it was nothing too special either. Su Hui closed the video and opened the drawer to gaze at the plasters. But he didn¡¯t do anything. But perhaps it was the furor of his mania, but something seemed to be faintly thumping in his heart.


    He heard that the school had recently formed a Book-and-Movie club. Su Hui was deeply interested but discovered it rather late. And it was not easy to find the multimedia classrooms too, so he did not arrive on time.


    But with rainfall came a sort of romantic air, so even if he was drenched and late, he did not feel awkward and instead brimmed with anticipation.


    The mysterious thing was that in the instant he entered the room, Su Hui could sense Ning Yixiao¡¯s presence with certainty.


    In the dim area, he managed to find his target without any deterrents and noticed that he was being stared at too. The film was already playing. The room was as quiet as a lake, but what played on the screen was the stirrings of  very strong winds. It looked very free.


    If three coincidences happened within a short two weeks, what would happen?


    As he watched the film, Su Hui was a little distracted. He could not stop thinking about this question.


    Formlessly, it seemed like a gale of wind pushed Ning Yixiao to his side little by little, to stir some ripples on Su Hui ¡ª a person who was like dead water.


    In the changing lights and shadows, Su Hui could clearly see Ning Yixiao¡¯s non-avoidant gaze while hearing his own heartbeat.


    He noticed that the girl in the row in front of him was writing something and observed that everyone around him had a card while he didn¡¯t.


    Realizing that he hadn¡¯t received it because he arrived too late, Su Hui searched his entire body. He only had a paper napkin.


    Whatever then.


    He borrowed a pen and wrote a sentence on the napkin.


    Likely the fault of his illness, or perhaps it was this romantic hue created from all these overlapping coincidences¡ªsomething which Su Hui adored¡ªhe naturally wrote his contact number on another napkin.


    This was the first time in his life that he did this. Impulsively, yet unreasonably. But at this time, he believed he would definitely succeed¡ªso much so that afterwards in the reading room, Su Hui checked his messaging app again and again, hoping to see a ¡°New Friend¡± added at the earliest possible time.


    But after the fact, or rather after he had walked out of his mania episode, only then did he realize that this was an act of excessive overconfidence. And so, he felt regretful and ashamed of it.


    What was worse was that he actually called Ning Yixiao¡¯s name before he even introduced himself.


    And as expected, Su Hui did not see any new friend requests come in.


    Normally, this would discourage people, but invalids were an exception.


    Just like many others who had the same disorder, Su Hui felt an unprecedented pride and joy during hypomania. A minor one-time discouragement would not affect anything.


    Serendipitously, a week later, he met Ning Yixiao once again. It rained that day too, but it was a far quieter rainy night.


    When Su Hui walked into the classroom, he sensed someone looking at him and looked up to see that it was Ning Yixiao.


    Their gazes met for a while. He sensed that Ning Yixiao had something he wanted to say but did not.


    Numerous days¡¯ worth of insomnia as well as the gloomy rain had dampened much of Su Hui¡¯s excitement. Under the effects of medication, he was relatively composed.


    He thought, this was likely the fourth time now.


    After returning to the seat, Su Hui did not speak and focused on the studies that he had fallen back on. His efficiency was high.


    After a very, very long time, Su Hui looked up at the clock and found it strange. Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t seem to plan on returning to his dorm.


    People who had bipolar disorder like him were grouped into people with severe mental disorders. His maternal grandfather believed he was sufficiently a ¡°terrorist¡± and did not allow him to stay in school, nor allow him time to be alone. Even if he stayed in school for a whole night due to an excited mood, there would be a driver watching him from some proximity.


    But Ning Yixiao was different. He seemed to be mentally stable, mentally healthy. He won¡¯t have no place to go.


    At approximately three in the morning, Su Hui felt exhaustion creep in. When he turned, he found that Ning Yixiao had fallen asleep, his bent shoulders and back rising and falling quietly in a deep sleep.


    Without much more of a reaction, Su Hui looked back, forcing down his thoughts to finish all of the questions.


    He felt his chest fill with suffocation, heart beating very hard. So, he took out a cigarette he had bought from a convenience store, planning to smoke by the window.


    But Ning Yixiao seemed to always be capable of throwing his plans off. Whether it was his plans to smoke, or something else.


    They seemed to have a tacit understanding, both forgetting how he had given out his contact previously. Ning Yixiao invited him for breakfast, and Su Hui didn¡¯t reject it.


    He checked his wallet in the restaurant and ordered something random. He just happened to have spent the rest of his money. But he did not feel awkward for not having the foresight of not having enough money. He was already long used to it.


    During hypomania, he always made many unreasonable purchases. For example, buying all of the desserts in a cake shop ¡ª so much that a single car can¡¯t contain them all. Once when passing by a pet shop, Su Hui had bought all of the small animals in the glass display and brought them home.


    Such situations were far too many.


    Even now, Su Hui could still remember his grandfather¡¯s enraged face upon seeing the electronic bill, remember how he had yelled ¡°outrageous¡± and ordered his mother to only give him a fixed amount of bills and coins every day for the necessary expenditures.


    Su Hui was a living person who could not be controlled, yearning for freedom. But because he was not healthy enough, he had been trapped in a firm glass dome even until now.


    The good thing was that Ning Yixiao was a very kind person. He looked easy to get along with and very generous.


    So when he said ¡°the next time we meet¡±, Su Hui was elated.


    This ¡°next time¡± happened much earlier than he envisioned. It was still when Su Hui was in the ¡°good period¡±, as he called it, so he felt very grateful. He had faintly discovered that he was quite reluctant to face Ning Yixiao in a bad state.


    Even if that was how they began. Even if he had crossed the boundaries since the very start, when he saw Ning Yixiao in the height of his mania and formed this sickly connection.


    The author has something to say:


    One of the reasons why there are fewer scenes from Su Hui¡¯s POV at the start is because I feel that if it was written from Xiao Hui¡¯s perspective, it would really sadden people. But actually it¡¯s not that different in Ning Yixiao¡¯s perspective. They¡¯re both pitiful things.


    Friends who have read this far, no matter if you are healthy or not, no matter what bad things you have experienced that you can¡¯t recover from, or perhaps if you feel that you¡¯ve experienced hardship and suffering in your life so far, you must remember to treasure yourself and love yourself. What you should treasure is not just your life but also the countless overlapping possibilities in the future. There will always exist, in some ¡°possibilities¡± that you will become very happy and content.


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: Zhichu¡¯s message makes me cry. Happy birthday to Ning Yixiao! Wishing him a merry christmas with his kitten. Happy holidays to everyone!

 CH 8

    Chapter 8: P. Boundary-Crossing Soda


    Everything in this world has a price.


    Su Hui did not enjoy taking his medicine, especially during his mania period.


    He was fond of the self who was passionate and full of creativity. So, each process of taking his medicine as per his family¡¯s orders was like unusually difficult withdrawals ¡ª problems were many,  and he had little determination.


    Compared to being at home, attending school was in fact the only time he enjoyed freedom. Even if the driver was always behind and keeping an eye on him, at least on campus, Su Hui could move freely without needing to care that much.


    Professor Wang, who taught classes for his major, took very good care of him. Not only did he think his grades were good, he even treated him as a normal student and not part of any ¡°special¡± group of people.


    Upon seeing Su Hui after a long absence, he went out of his way to ask him after class, ¡°Recently, we have a cross-disciplinary research topic. The thesis may potentially be sent for the conference this year. Do you want to join?¡±


    Su Hui was very keen, but he worried that he¡¯d drag the entire group down. However, Professor Wang was of a different opinion.


    ¡°Among the students right now, we¡¯re just lacking someone who has strong writing skills in English like you. Getting a good result is important, but the paper has to be written well too so that the reviewers can read it with ease.¡±


    Persuaded, Su Hui agreed. And so, Professor Wang advised him to start an impromptu meeting with the other students.


    Four in the afternoon, Su Hui came to the small classroom for their meeting per request. Door half-ajar, he knocked on it, about to go in himself. But he didn¡¯t expect the door to open from the inside.


    The next second, he was met with Ning Yixiao¡¯s face without any warning. The latter seemed surprised too as he stood still for a moment.


    ¡°Are you writing a thesis together with Wang-laoshi [1] too?¡± Su Hui spoke up first, the corners of his lips forming a curve.


    Ning Yixiao nodded. ¡°Yes.¡± He smiled too, pulling open the door and stepping aside to let Su Hui in.


    ¡°This project requires a script to compile the statistics. Wang-laoshi conducts a statistics class with us and since he asked if I want to try a cross-major project, I agreed.¡±


    He explained some but then felt a slight regret. Su Hui didn¡¯t ask, so he didn¡¯t have to say that much.


    When he looked back, Ning Yixiao spotted his laptop on the table. He had gotten it from a second-hand goods market. The brand log on the back had already chipped off. He would not usually think much of it. But at this moment, he found it glaring.


    Su Hui tended to sit alone at the corner during classes and had never been someone¡¯s deskmate. So, this time, out of habit, he sat in the row in front of Ning Yixiao too.


    ¡°I see. I was also called over by Wang-laoshi only today.¡± Su Hui smiled and looked back at Ning Yixiao. ¡°It¡¯s tough to do cross-disciplinary projects, right? If I have to do something related to computing now, I might not have the slightest inkling of where to start.¡±


    These were words easy to respond to, but Ning Yixiao gazed at his face and spoke up as if under a spell, ¡°You don¡¯t look like a finance major either.¡±


    He could not envision Su Hui as those Wall Street Elites, donned in a full suit, along with a tie, walking through office buildings while working a job that took money from the cream of the crop.


    ¡°Really?¡± Su Hui¡¯s eyes were sparkling ¡ª they were like the eyes of small animals which could not get used to a muddy, forestry environment. He moved closer a little, whispering to Nng Yixiao very softly, ¡°Actually, I don¡¯t like it either.¡±


    In this close proximity, Ning Yixiao could dazedly smell the fragrance of tropical fruits on Su Hui. Strong, fragrant and sweet. He clenched his fists on the table and smiled. ¡°Then why are you studying it?¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s expression turned into indifference, as if that was how things should be. ¡°Because I can¡¯t choose.¡±


    Looking at his face, Ning Yixiao was a little dazed.


    All of a sudden, he remembered a testy professor of a certain specialized field that he had during his second year. He often beat down his students¡¯ personalities, and there were very few who could stand him.


    And this specialized course was graded based on a test paper as well as an experiment. Instead of the highly valued marking system, most of the score for the experiment was dependent on the teacher¡¯s subjective impression. So, there were not many who could successfully pass the class.


    In order to obtain the grade that he desired, Ning Yixiao had exercised the greatest tolerance. Practically everyone had been forced back by this bad-tempered professor. After all, everyone could not stand being ridiculed over a long period of time. Especially in a place filled with gifted students.


    But Ning Yixiao could. Faced with shrill shouts, he nodded and obeyed orders. In the end, he obtained the grade that he wanted too.


    Even that teacher could not help but say that Ning Yixiao was the most well-behaved student who understood the most where exactly he stood.


    Even now, he still didn¡¯t know if that was praise or not.


    As he spaced out, Professor Wang and another student came in. Likely to liven up the atmosphere, they started joking about the two of them.


    ¡°Oh, you two are already so close? Then I guess you don¡¯t need me to help everyone break the ice.¡±


    Looking at Professor Wang¡¯s smile, Ning Yixiao felt a little complicated. His gaze focused in front of him. First, he looked at the passionfruit juice in Su Hui¡¯s transparent cup, and then his back that was within an arm¡¯s length.


    Like a dream that had finally dissipated, those bruises on the back of Su Hui¡¯s neck were no longer present. His earlobes were thin, healthily colored by blood. There was a small hole in the inside.


    Just as he was wondering when Su Hui had gotten a piercing, he suddenly noticed it. He realized that he had thought too far and too much.


    The presupposition of even having an ice-breaker was that the ice needed to be broken.


    Ning Yixiao could keenly sense something in between him and Su Hui. This was very odd. It was a layer of ice that had never appeared in any of the social relationships he had encountered. It was very thin, one where both of them could seemingly touch the moment they reached out. But in the instant his hand extended, he could discern obvious danger.


    The other student who recently arrived was called Zhang Shuo, also a finance major. He was Professor¡¯s Wang¡¯s favorite pupil.


    Top students loved getting to the bottom of things. He was very interested in Ning Yixiao¡¯s tools for computing as well as his person. As such, his questions never stopped. Ning Yixiao tried to muster up the best of his patience, but his attention was on Su Hui who was conversing with Professor Wang.


    When Su Hui spoke, his tone was always extremely light and relaxed. Even if he was the one leading the conversation and talked incessantly about something, it never exuded a forceful demeanor. It was the opposite; he was always very gentle. It was attractive.


    ¡°Oh, right. When I was in a seminar, someone brought up your grandfather. I heard his health hasn¡¯t been good. How is he now?¡± Professor Wang asked in concern.


    Ning Yixiao gazed at Su Hui¡¯s back, hearing him answer very softly, ¡°I don¡¯t know either.¡±


    He was not like others, who would practice social niceties and say ¡°much better, thank you for your concern¡±. Instead, he would frankly say he didn¡¯t know.


    Su Hui smiled, looking up at Professor Wang. ¡°My grandfather has always been very strong-willed in front of me. Even when he¡¯s sick, he looks the same. I hope he¡¯s fine.¡±


    As their gazes met each other, Professor Wang paused before he grinned. ¡°Your grandfather did that for you.¡±


    Su Hui did not deny that. ¡°Yup, it¡¯s for my own good.¡±


    Both of them did not continue. Professor Wang changed to another topic aptly and started the meeting. He gave a heavy load of content. Su Hui was worried that his mind would float away too fast and could not hold onto it, so he took out his laptop to record down the tasks that Professor Wang mentioned.


    In summary, he hoped Su Hui could help Ning Yixiao write an English thesis, while Zhang Shuo was responsible for collecting sufficient data.


    ¡°Get along with each other.¡± Professor Wang patted Su Hui¡¯s shoulder, telling him, ¡°Yixiao is a very hardworking child. Talk to him more. Maybe by the time the thesis is completed, you¡¯d also know how to code.¡±


    Su Hui had a smile on his face, but he couldn¡¯t bring himself to agree internally. He did not want to learn how to code at all.


    But he was very willing to spend time with Ning Yixiao.


    On the way out, Zhang Shuo was still seeking guidance from Ning Yixiao, and Ning Yixiao responded energetically and amicably too, explaining it the entire journey.


    Su Hui followed behind the two, a mere two steps away, emitting a quietness that did not quite fit this current episode. He really wanted to go out to get some air on the school lawns and lie there.


    ¡°Now that you explained it like that, I understand now. Thanks, Yixiao.¡± Zhang Shuo subconsciously wanted to put an arm around Ning Yixiao¡¯s shoulder in a hug, but it proved a little difficult with their height difference. So, he scratched his head, laughing, ¡°Hey, let¡¯s have a meal together. I recently found a really delicious restaurant near the tech park. Can you eat spicy food?¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s thoughts were jumping all around, mentally answering the question that had nothing to do with him ¡ª I can¡¯t eat spicy, I can¡¯t handle it at all. To the extent that I need the hotpot to be washed thrice with clean water before I can even eat.


    He wanted to immediately be at the lawn, so he quickened his pace, planning to overtake the two and leave this place first.


    But when he was just short of succeeding, his arm was grabbed.


    He looked back to meet Ning Yixiao¡¯s deep eyes.


    Next was his very soft voice, ¡°Wait.¡±


    Ning Yixiao turned back and gave Zhang Shuo an apologetic smile. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I don¡¯t think I can today. I just remembered that Wang-laoshi assigned me a translation of a document. I have to work on that with Su Hui now.¡±


    Hearing that, Zhang Shuo immediately showed a face of understanding. ¡°You still have work to do? No worries. We¡¯ll have plenty of chances in the future. Let¡¯s eat out together next time.¡± After that, he circled around Ning Yixiao to tell Su Hui too, ¡°Xiao Hui, you should come too.¡±


    It was Su Hui¡¯s first time hearing a student from the same major call him like this. He didn¡¯t agree to it, simply smiling at him.


    ¡°Bye.¡± Ning Yixiao looked at his vanishing back, the smile on his face fading slightly.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you going to eat with him?¡± Su Hui looked up at him and said very straightforwardly, ¡°Do we have other assignments?¡±


    Ning Yixiao did not answer him immediately and let him go.


    ¡°Treat me to a drink. Did you forget?¡±


    He gave Su Hui a smile that was different from before, as if he was saying, ¡°You agreed to it before.¡±


    Su Hui stared at his gaze, a rather peculiar smile surfacing on his face. He blinked. ¡°I nearly forgot. What do you want to drink?¡±


    ¡°Did you bring enough money today?¡± Ning Yixiao headed outside, a smile in his voice.


    Su Hui acknowledged very softly. ¡°I haven¡¯t spent money yet today. At first, I wanted to buy some tools, but I was called over suddenly. I don¡¯t know if the store is closed yet if I go now.¡±


    He began to chatter about unrelated things again. But Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t find it weird.


    The burning color of dusk in the horizon landed on his face. Even those small down were streaked with light gold. Ning Yixiao watched Su Hui speak, his lips opening and closing, finding him just like a flower.


    ¡°Oh right. I know this one soda tastes really good. It¡¯s grapefruit-flavored.¡± Su Hui jumped to another topic again, leading Ning Yixiao to a convenience store with quick, light steps.


    His collar was always very big. With his top wrapped around him, it restricted him. It failed to do the expected job of an ornament, because he was already very pretty in the first place.


    When Su Hui gazed into the distance, his eyes looked fathomless. But when he turned to look at him, he would exude naivety and innocence.


    Ning Yixiao said sure after a beat.


    Upon entering the store, Ning Yixiao followed Su Hui, seeing him weave through a huge row of goods, towards the fridge with a straight back. He firmly looked for a while and took out a light pink drink. Then, he subconsciously reached for others, taking many different types of drinks.


    Next, as if he had just jolted awake from a dream, he stopped and stood on the spot. Then with reddened ears, he put back all of the additional drinks.


    ¡°It¡¯s this one.¡± In the end, Su Hui only took the very first one. Spinning around, he headed to the cashier with light and quick steps and took out some bills and coins to pay.


    ¡°Try it.¡± He attempted to twist open the bottle cap, but the side effects of lithium salts had not gone down yet. He could not put strength in his grip.


    ¡°Let me do it. It¡¯s hard to open these types of bottles.¡± Although Ning Yixiao said it was hard, he practically used no strength and easily twisted it open. He raised his head to take a big gulp, Adam¡¯s apple bobbing up and down.


    Seated next to each other on the bench at the entrance of the convenience store, Su Hui looked at him with a tilted head. The night winds had blown the incredibly faint detergent smell of Nin Yixiao¡¯s clothes on his face, like an ocean wave mixed with lime and grapefruit.


    ¡°It¡¯s quite refreshing. Not very sweet.¡± Ning Yixiao put down the bottle and gave a very simple review.


    ¡°Really?¡± Su Hui looked at him and honestly said, ¡°Actually, I¡¯ve never drank it before.¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s eyes instinctively narrowed. ¡°That¡¯s not what you said earlier.¡±


    ¡°Many people recommended it. Everyone said it tastes good.¡± Su Hui leaned on the bench, eyes on a child that was playing with a ball not far away. His tone was indifferent. ¡°But they don¡¯t allow me to drink beverages, so I¡¯ve only just heard about this so far.¡±


    ¡°Your grandfather?¡± Ning Yixiao guessed.


    Su Hui acknowledged with an ¡°mhm¡± and played down the truth, ¡°Because my health isn¡¯t good.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true. Too many additives isn¡¯t healthy.¡±


    When he heard Ning Yixiao say this based on a logical dedication, it was just like hearing Professor Wang say ¡°he did that for you¡±.


    But the difference was that when it was Ning Yixiao, it seemed to impact his mood more.


    Su Hui was feeling baffled at this situation when all of a sudden, a hand holding the carbonated beverage had extended to him. He looked up at Ning Yixiao.


    ¡°But trying once every now and then is fine, right? This degree of additives is basically nil.¡±


    There was no smile on his face, but his voice was very gentle.


    He raised his head to take a big gulp. The gas-filled sweet liquid flowed into his body, and along with his heart beat, it bubbled.


    ¡°How do you find it?¡± Ning Yixiao asked.


    Su Hui accidentally choked, breaking out into a coughing fit. Upon recovering and panting to catch his breath, his face was completely red, lips full and wet.


    He looked at Ning Yixiao and laughed. He didn¡¯t comment on the carbonated drink.


    ¡°Did you know? Your tone just now was like pampering a child.¡±


    ¡°I was just saying it offhandedly.¡± Ning Yixiao looked at him. ¡°Since you can¡¯t drink any single beverage, then they probably disallow smoking even more, right?¡±


    Su Hui replied naturally, ¡°Of course I was smoking in secret.¡±


    He stretched his neck back, squinting under the setting sun. ¡°Smoking makes me happy, happier than drinking beverages. Since I¡¯ll get punished if they discover I did either of the two, then I rather do what I want to do more. Even if there¡¯s a greater price to pay.¡±


    ¡°Everything in this world has a price anyway.¡±


    After saying that, Su Hui opened his eyes in some difficulty, looking at Ning Yixiao. ¡°What about you? Do you know how to smoke?¡±


    Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t say yes, nor did he say no. He just said, ¡°I don¡¯t smoke.¡±


    To Ning Yixiao, smoking was too much of a waste. It was a waste of money and a waste of time too.


    What was most terrifying was that tobacco would remind him of many upsetting memories in his childhood. In the room of wisps of tobacco smoke, what awaited him was either his mother¡¯s sobs or punches that were not pulled back.


    ¡°That¡¯s very good.¡± Su Hui expressed agreement. ¡°Don¡¯t learn. It¡¯s bad for your body. Your health is the most important. If you smoke too much, you¡¯ll get really bad headaches.¡±


    He looked like he was drunk. Ning Yixiao lowered his head, looking at Su Hui¡¯s hand. His index and middle finger were adorned with small golden rings.


    ¡°Then what about you?¡± Ning Yixiao asked. ¡°What about your health?¡±


    Su Hui laughed. ¡°It¡¯s fine for me. It can¡¯t get that bad.¡± After saying that, he stood up as though he was going to leave.


    ¡°I have to go back now.¡± Su Hui said, ¡°Thank you for treating me to congee the other time.¡±


    Ning Yixiao stood up too. ¡°I¡¯m going out too. Let¡¯s go together.¡±


    The two walked through the tree-lined path, the gap between them occasionally large and occasionally small.


    Su Hui suddenly spoke up, ¡°Did the programs you wrote give good results?¡±


    NIng Yixiao was already used to his sudden changes of topic. After some thought, he answered, ¡°That depends on how you define good or bad. Based on our current targets, the predicted result is still quite close to the results evaluated by professionals. No matter how it is, these programs will have their uses, especially during data collection.¡±


    Hearing his words, Su Hui nodded and asked a question that came out of nowhere. ¡°Then when can they completely replace humans?¡±


    Ning Yixiao broke out into laughter at his question. ¡°You want it to completely replace humans? At least, right now, I can¡¯t do it.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to do this kind of job.¡± Su Hui carried on talking by himself. ¡°It¡¯ll be nice if this job is eliminated after a few years.¡±


    Mysteriously, Ning Yixiao did not find his overactive imagination weird.


    ¡°You can choose not to do it. As long as that¡¯s what you want.¡± Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice held a different feeling from before. ¡°Computing won¡¯t be able to help you. I can¡¯t either. Only you can make the decision.¡±


    Su Hui stopped speaking then. He was silent for a long time until they nearly reached the school gate.


    When it was time for them to split up, Su Hui subconsciously searched for his family car with his eyes. The orange setting sun had blurred his vision.


    Where was it?


    All of a sudden, he heard Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice.


    ¡°The paper napkin you gave me before was drenched by the rain. I couldn¡¯t read the number.¡±


    Probably because it was hard to utter, Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t look at him, just going on with speaking and walking forward. He didn¡¯t even notice that Su Hui had stopped walking.


    Upon receiving no reply, Ning Yixiao turned his head to find no one beside him.


    Did he get angry?


    He turned around, only to discover Su Hui still standing at a spot four or five steps behind him, head lowered.


    But before he spoke again, Su Hui raised his head, taking a quick few steps towards him. ¡°Here.¡±


    Ning Yixiao took it. It was an empty cigarette box torn open, with two lines of words scribbled with a ballpoint.


    ¡°How about this?¡±


    The flying birds on the school gate flew through the sky, leaving behind shadows on Su Hui¡¯s clear pair of eyes. ¡°It was my first time leaving these for someone, and I didn¡¯t have any experience. It does look hard to preserve if it¡¯s on a napkin. So sorry.¡±


    Ning Yixiao was taken aback.


    After saying that, Su Hui laughed again. ¡°But a cigarette box doesn¡¯t seem any better either.¡±


    ¡°Oh well. There¡¯s really no other paper that I could write on.¡± He came closer again. The engines of vehicles were revving and the crowd were pushing past each other. And between the two of them was only just the glimmer of the setting sun.


    Su Hui¡¯s voice was gentle and soft, dissipating in the wind.


    ¡°You can just contact me a little earlier then.¡±


    Translator Notes


    [1] ÀÏʦ (laoshi) means teacher and serves as a term of address here.


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: Happy new year to everyone! Hoping all your wishes for the coming year comes true!

 CH 9

    Chapter 9: P. The Escape of the Ants


    We.


    People were passing by the school gate. Ning Yixiao gripped the cigarette box, staring at Su Hui telling him ¡°see you¡± with a smile and then flitted from his side like a little bird, heading straight to a car parked by the road.


    The chauffeur at the driver¡¯s seat specifically came out just to open the door for him. The well-bred young master got into the car, rolling down the window to gaze at him from afar, all the way until finally vanishing in the stream of vehicles.


    Ning Yixiao kept the cigarette box properly in silence and took public transport to the home of the student he was tutoring.


    In the car, Su Hui turned back, no longer looking out of the window. He began to stare at the new chauffeur¡¯s face in the rearview mirror. This person looked around forty years old and was slightly buff. He had a green birthmark the size of a thumb on his forehead.


    The chauffeur seemed to have noticed Su Hui¡¯s gaze too. He gave a glance before he diligently forced out a smile. ¡°Young Master, do you want some water? I even brought some juice. You¡­¡±


    ¡°You can call me Xiao Hui.¡± Su Hui smiled politely and then asked immediately, ¡°I¡¯ve never seen you before. What happened to Uncle Zhang?¡±


    ¡°Something happened back home. I heard an elderly had a stroke, so he¡¯s taking a long leave to take care of them. I was introduced to this job by Mr. Xu.¡± As he spoke, he seemed to remember something. ¡°Oh, look at the rush I am in. I even forgot to introduce myself. My surname is Feng. I¡¯m Feng Zhiguo. You can just call me Old Feng.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll call you Uncle Feng. Thank you for taking the trouble to fetch me.¡± Hearing him talk about Mr. Xu, Su Hui¡¯s mood began to dip.


    Not long later, Su Hui asked again, ¡°How did you know Uncle Xu?¡±


    Hearing that, Feng Zhiguo laughed. ¡°Now that¡¯s probably something that happened twenty years ago now. He and I came from the same hometown and grew up together. But Xiao Xu¡­ Oh, I mean, Mr. Xu is clever and is good at studying. Back then, I already said he¡¯ll become someone with some status. Wasn¡¯t I right? He took each step himself until now, and now he¡¯s already at the capital and made a name for himself.¡±


    Just like many middle-aged men, when Feng Zhiguo started boasting, he could gibber and prattle on.


    Su Hui chatted along with him, quietly getting answers to questions that he wanted to know, including where Xu Zhi grew up and the middle school that he attended.


    Su Hui¡¯s father had passed away in a car accident when he was thirteen. Three years ago, Xu Zhi and his mother began to date, and by now, they had been married for a year. In these years, Su Hui had never heard his mother mention Xu Zhi¡¯s past.


    He wanted to know these badly. Because in the very instant that Xu Zhi appeared and ever since he had invaded his family, Su Hui never felt at ease.


    So, it turned out that Xu Zhi¡¯s background was much lower than he had originally thought. Even so, he still gained his grandfather¡¯s approval.


    ¡°Although our little fishing village is small and undeveloped, it produced plenty of talents. Speaking of which, it¡¯s kinda a coincidence. My son is still pretty hard-working [1] and got into the same school as Young Master Xiao Su, you know.¡±


    Feng Zhiguo had a smile that held some pride. When he talked about his son, he began to rattle off and rave, saying his son was in computing, which was a particularly popular major. When he registered for his preferred majors, he felt unconfident. But thankfully, he was accepted.


    Computer science.


    Su Hui thought of Ning Yixiao.


    ¡°Your son is called¡­¡± Xu Hui asked.


    Hearing that, Feng Zhiguo assumed that Su Hui was this curious because he wanted to be friends with his son and felt particularly delighted. ¡°Ah, he¡¯s called Feng Cheng. That¡¯s the Cheng in Fung Ching Ching¡¯s name. I used to love watching Shanghai Beach. I like that female lead, so I gave him this name.¡±


    Su Hui nodded.


    They weren¡¯t the same person.


    For some reason, he let out a sigh of relief.


    ¡°Some day, I¡¯ll bring my son here to let you meet and say hi to him.¡±


    Su Hui grinned, but didn¡¯t respond.


    Nearing the Su family residence, Feng Zhiguo slowed the speed. ¡°We¡¯re almost there, Young Master Xiao Su. Do you find this speed alright? Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?¡±


    Every chauffeur would ask this question before he got out of the car. But the assumption was that he could still get off the car by himself.


    ¡°It¡¯s not bad.¡± Su Hui¡¯s face held the smile the whole time. He got out of the car with quick and light steps. ¡°Thank you for your hard work, Uncle Feng.¡±


    Different from the earlier lifelessness, when Su Hui opened the door, he could tell someone was at home. He walked in and saw Auntie Chen coming up from the underground cellar with a bottle of red wine.


    Su Hui¡¯s voice carried a spoiled tone then. ¡°Auntie Chen, what wine did you get~?¡±


    ¡°Xiao Huihui is back?¡± Auntie Chen laughed, showing him the wine bottle. ¡°The mistress wants to drink and told me to take it out and wake it up. Why are you back so early today, mm? Was it tiring?¡±


    Su Hui shook his head. ¡°Auntie Chen, I want to eat scissor-cut noodles. I want it spinach-flavored.¡±


    ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll make a bowl just for you later. Tomato and spinach noodles.¡± Auntie Chen took the wine decanter and headed inside with Su Hui.


    In the parlor, Su Hui spotted Ji Yanan immediately. Her long curls were left cascaded down as she leaned on the couch, and she was looking very meticulously at something in her hands.


    Perhaps it was the ¡°high spirits¡± brought by his illness, or perhaps it was because he truly hadn¡¯t seen his mother for a very long while, he felt momentary excitement, his steps even quickening. He wanted to talk to his mother, wanted to share what happened while he studied and about the people he met ¡ª for example, Ning Yixiao.


    ¡°Mom, I¡¯m home.¡±


    Ji Yanan didn¡¯t look up. ¡°Mhm. You¡¯re quite early today. You didn¡¯t eat outside, did you?¡±


    ¡°No. I just had something small from the cafeteria.¡± Su Hui didn¡¯t plan to tell her about the beverage he had. With a smile, he walked over. ¡°Why are you home so early today? Has the company not been busy recently? Or do you need to use your paid leave?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s your grandfather¡¯s seventieth birthday in half a month, so of course I have to prepare for it. I pushed back my work for these few days and I¡¯m not seeing my clients anymore either. I¡¯m just specifically going to organize all these for your grandfather.¡±


    She put down the namelist in her hands, an index finger on her temples. ¡°Just seeing the guest list gives me a headache. They¡¯re all important people with reputation and name. Their seating, and what they like¡­ All of them have to be planned well.¡±


    How was this like a celebration? It was practically an organizational conference.


    Su Hui originally wanted to tell her about how Professor Wang chose him to write a thesis. To someone like him who frequently deferred his studies, this was very worth a share.


    But Ji Yanan probably wasn¡¯t in the mood to listen.


    And right now, Su Hui was very afraid of gatherings, particularly ones with those powerful people. The mistakes he made a few times had led him to subconsciously evade such occasions.


    ¡°Then, Mom, take care and make sure to rest. I¡¯m going to my room to put down my bag.¡±


    ¡°Oh, wait a moment.¡± Ji Yanan stopped him, scrutinizing him up and down. ¡°Youyou, have you been taking your medication on time?¡±


    Youyou [2] was his nickname, but Su Hui didn¡¯t find it very intimate when he heard it.


    ¡°Mhm.¡± Su Hui looked at her, tone gentle. He even had a small smile. ¡°Mom, I should still look like a normal person right now, right?¡±


    Ji Yanan¡¯s expression relaxed. ¡°Then, alright. But I¡¯ll say this first. From today onwards, you must take your medicine properly every day. You can¡¯t skip a single time.


    ¡°Your grandfather¡¯s birthday celebration is a big event. Every guest attending is either the first- or second-in-command. If something happens, you don¡¯t have to attend any more classes this semester either. I¡¯ll hire a teacher so you can be home-schooled. That¡¯s how you spent your high school anyway. And nothing bad happened.¡±


    Su Hui listened calmly. He didn¡¯t seem like a mentally ill person at all. He even nodded, very well-behaved. He said nothing else.


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    His swelling desire to express himself was deflating little by little. Like gassy water that was left alone for too long, the bubbles vanished bit by bit, losing its flavor.


    ¡°Don¡¯t overthink. Mom just hopes that you can attend the birthday celebration normally. That¡¯s why I said it like that.¡±


    Seeing that he had fallen silent, Ji Yanan thought he looked a little pitiful, so she walked over to circle Su Hui in her arms. ¡°Mom only has one child, and that¡¯s you. And your grandfather only has one grandson, that¡¯s you too. I¡¯m even hoping you¡¯ll cut the cake for your grandfather. Put on good behavior and let everyone rest assured, okie dokie?¡±


    Everyone?


    Su Hui wanted very much to know exactly when they would be willing to tell others about his illness.


    But that was probably impossible. Was there any first- or second-in-command who was willing to hear an elderly leader announce at his birthday party that his own grandson was mentally ill?


    ¡°I¡¯ll take my medicine properly.¡± Feeling a little stuffy, Su Hui pushed himself slightly out of Ji Yanan¡¯s arms. ¡°If my state is really bad, just say that I got sick. That I got a cold. So I can¡¯t go.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t his first time lying that he was sick to escape such occasions. Many times, it was his mother who took it upon herself to lie, just so that he won¡¯t cause the family to lose face.


    ¡°That won¡¯t do. This is an important occasion. You can¡¯t be in a bad state.¡± Ji Yanan was continuing on by herself. ¡°Oh, right. Your Uncle Xu even found a really well-known psychiatrist. He¡¯s a clinical doctor who specializes in bipolar disorder. Uncle Xu already informed him. Tomorrow, we can bring you to a professional for a consultation. All of them said it¡¯ll be very beneficial. Maybe this time, it can be treated.¡±


    Su Hui nodded. He weaved through the stuffy and empty big living room, not speaking a word.


    It had already been five years since it started at fourteen years old.


    Each time, he got closer to hope, but he relapsed every time. He already held no hope of being treated.


    Pushing the glass door at the corner of the living room, Su Hui walked to the garden at the back, circling through a cobblestone path lined by grass and trees to reach his own room.


    He took off his shoes outside, slid open the glass door and walked in with bare feet. His room had been kept clean, without any dangerous objects. Items that had been determined to be ¡°harmful to him¡± had all been eliminated too, including some of his newly bought books. Su Hui didn¡¯t even have the chance to flip through them.


    Outside the glass door, the Endless Summer hydrangeas had bloomed in the garden. Large patches of blue after blue stood above the green. Cicadas chirped all round, under ample sunlight. But Su Hui felt breathless.


    He attempted to remove all of the burdens on him. The heavy school bag. The skintight top. All of them were thrown onto the floor. Facing the mirror, Su Hui stared at his protruding ribs for a while, raising a hand to caress the light pink scar under his rib.


    It was faintly visible. His heart was against that thin layer of skin and muscles, beating faintly.


    This was proof that he was alive.


    As he spaced out, came the vibrating sound from his phone, interrupting the cries of the cicadas. But it was very short. The sound vanished very quickly.


    Su Hui found that weird. He squatted down, fishing out his phone from the bag. Opening it, he found that there was certainly a missed call. It was from an unknown number.


    The sight of Ning Yixiao seated on a bench appeared in his mind. And that Adam¡¯s apple that bobbed.


    Holding the phone, Su Hui took two steps before throwing himself heavily on the bed. He half-rolled around, burying his face on the soft blanket before calling back the number.


    The noises of the electric current were stimulating his heart. Ring, after ring. Approximately more than ten seconds later, the line finally connected. A voice appeared.


    ¡°Su Hui?¡± On the phone, Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice was even lower than it was when they were face-to-face. On that end, there was even a small boy¡¯s voice speaking, ¡°Ning-laoshi, I don¡¯t really understand this question.¡±


    The voice moved afar then. Su Hui heard Ning Yixiao tell the boy to wait and to work on some questions first. Only then did he return to Su Hui, calling his name again.


    ¡°Mhm.¡± Across the electric current and cotton blanket, Su Hui¡¯s voice transmitted over, calling him in a slightly sticky voice, ¡°Ning Yixiao.¡±


    The person on the other end was silent for a while.


    Seeming to have found a quieter place, Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice was louder and much clearer than before. ¡°I called you because I wanted to ask you for that thesis that Wang-laoshi mentioned. He said you have it. But after I dialed the number, I realized I could download it, so I hung¡­¡±


    ¡°Ning Yixiao.¡±


    Su Hui called his name again, cutting off this explanation.


    ¡°Mm?¡±


    Su Hui lay in the blanket and felt both suffocation and safety at the same time.


    ¡°Have you ever felt like wanting to escape very badly?¡±


    These words dazed Ning Yixiao for a moment. It reminded him of some unpleasant memories.


    Did he have times when he wanted to escape? Many.


    Although he was clearly on the tutored student¡¯s home balcony, he suddenly smelled the faint stench of the ocean.


    For a moment, Ning Yixiao turned into that helpless child again, trapped in the days and nights of the small fishing village. Even when he just walked, he would be encircled by a few boys a couple of years older than him. Pushing and shoving him, insulting him with calls of ¡°bastard¡± and worse words.


    Back then, he had no option available. A sole person¡¯s fists could not defeat a group of people; he could not escape that place. He could only return home with a face full of wounds, watching his mother embrace him while breaking into a sob.


    Su Hui was very patient. He did not urge for his response. Ning Yixiao walked out of his memories himself.


    ¡°Yes, I have.¡± It was rare for him to be honest, instead of disguising himself as a sunshine-type of person without any wounds.


    On the other end of the call, Su Hui seemed to have sucked in a deep breath and paused for a few seconds. His voice was still muffled in the blanket, and his words sounded both unreal and illogical.


    ¡°Where can we escape to?¡±


    Su Hui would, at times, say some strange things. When it came to this, Ning Yixiao thought that he had already gotten used to it. But upon hearing him say ¡°we¡± with a sigh, his heart was still moved.


    ¡°I feel just like an ant.¡±


    While Ning Yixiao was still dazed, Su Hui switched to another topic. ¡°An ant trapped in a glass dome. As long as I stay inside obediently, I¡¯ll be very safe. But once I want to go out, and when I crawl to the edge of the glass dome, a human¡¯s finger would press on my body, and I won¡¯t be able to move.¡±


    Like a very bizarre telepathy, through this phone call, Ning Yixiao could actually sense his anguish and gloom.


    He was someone who completely didn¡¯t know how to comfort others. He lacked empathy, but would hide this fact very well. However, at this moment, Ning Yixiao actually had the thought of wanting to comfort Su Hui.


    Su Hui¡¯s voice was very soft. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be an ant that¡¯s raised inside.¡±


    Even if he knew that his own journey in life wouldn¡¯t be too blissful and won¡¯t receive much of a perfect ending, at least, he wanted freedom. Even if it was a painful freedom.


    ¡°You¡¯re not.¡± After a moment of struggling, Ning Yixiao still spoke up. ¡°You¡¯re not an ant.¡±


    He was someone who didn¡¯t know how to comfort people at all, and also one who believed that the act of comforting was the most useless thing in the world. Ning Yixiao only did things that had value ¡ª only things that would benefit his future and prospects. Unless they helped him to progress. Otherwise, he would not be affected by anyone¡¯s emotions.


    But, what was he doing right now? Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t know either.


    He also seemed to think that this was a little ridiculous. Just a single sentence of denial seemed very nonsensical too. So, he explained further, ¡°I mean that although I don¡¯t know what happened to you, someday, you¡¯ll be free of them.¡±


    It was silent on the other end of the call for a good while.


    He could not help but think then, if his words sounded very powerless and provided no help at all.


    But these were also what he relied on to make it through.


    On the other end of the call came an abrupt laughter. Immediately followed by Su Hui¡¯s very soft but humored voice.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, you are an ant outside the glass dome.¡±


    Translator Note:


    [1] ÕùÆø: the word in a more literal sense, means ¡°struggling to not breathe your last breath¡±, but is used metaphorically to refer to how one struggles to get a good result despite the bad results others might expect of them. So, here, he¡¯s saying how his son¡¯s determination led him to perform better than expected.


    [2] ÓÅÓÅ (youyou). This nickname doesn¡¯t seem to be derived from Su Hui¡¯s real name. But the character comprising this nickname is the same character used for ¡°excellence¡±.

 CH 10

    Chapter 10: P. Icelandic Popsicle


    You take things so seriously.


    Before Ning Yixiao spoke, Su Hui thanked him lightheartedly. ¡°You can go back to what you were doing. I¡¯ll stop bothering you.¡±


    He didn¡¯t have the habit of saying ¡°see you¡±, because he can¡¯t guarantee that he would still be able to see them again properly. After Ning Yixiao said ¡°alright¡±, Su Hui hung up the call.


    This was a very difficult feat. During his mania period, he was practically unable to hang up calls of his own accord. He always talked and talked ¡ª incessantly, with his thoughts akin to a sprinting deer. Even if the other party told him to stop, he could not stop himself.


    But as he spoke with Ning Yixiao, Su Hui keenly sensed the emotions in his silence. He made a sudden realization then that grasping tightly on him and not letting go looked just like he was holding onto his lifeline.


    This was not right. So, Su Hui forcibly cut off his desire to express himself.


    He wanted to be a normal person in front of Ning Yixiao.


    After hanging up the call, Ning Yixiao stood alone on the balcony for a moment. It was only when he glanced at the time that he decided to return to the student¡¯s room. But he had likely opened the door too abruptly; as the student seated inside was lifting up his shirt, twisting to look at his own back.


    So, the first thing Ning Yixiao saw after he pushed open the door was a bruise on the side of his waist.


    ¡°What happened, Xiaochen?¡±


    Ding Xiaochen put down his shirt in panic, turning to Ning Yixiao, mumbling, ¡°It¡¯s nothing¡±.


    Ning Yixiao had tutored him in mathematics for a semester and was well aware that he was a kind but timid child. Seeing that he wouldn¡¯t tell him, he didn¡¯t probe him further. He sat down on his chair. ¡°Have you finished all of the practice questions I assigned you earlier?¡±


    ¡°I still have two more.¡± Ding Xiaochen answered quietly.


    Ning Yixiao nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll take a look at the ones you¡¯ve finished first.¡±


    As though he didn¡¯t see anything, he checked Ding Xiaochen¡¯s work and marked the answers. Finally, he picked out some classic questions and went through them with him, helping him to strengthen his knowledge.


    The class was almost over. Ding Xiaochen buried himself in making notes. Ning Yixiao glanced at the time before he looked back at the young boy¡¯s thin and fragile frame.


    ¡°Laoshi, I¡¯ve noted them down.¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡± Ning Yixiao nodded. He got up to leave, but when he just opened the door, he stood there quietly with his back to him. Then he closed the bedroom door and turned to look at Ding Xiaochen.


    ¡°What was that wound on your back?¡±


    Ding Xiaochen looked up at him. The current Ning-laoshi didn¡¯t seem quite the same as before. His face didn¡¯t don a warm smile and looked calm and expressionless.


    He hesitated for a long while. But due to his reliance on him built from their time spent together, he still told Ning Yixiao the full details.


    Explaining it was very simple. Just a single sentence sufficed as a clear explanation: Ding Xiaochen¡¯s father was a drunkard and had been committing long-term domestic abuse to him and his mother.


    In his fifth grade of elementary school, his father had encountered difficulties in his business. The setbacks had led him to drink frequently. And he had a terrible temper as a drunkard. He would rebuke both his mother and him. The moment they retorted, what they received was a beating and scolding. After a long time, this turned into the father¡¯s way to vent. This was true even until now.


    Ning Yixiao had met his father only a handful of times. His impression of him was just that he was a man of few words who rarely inquired about his child¡¯s grades. Only Ding Xiaochen¡¯s mother worried about it; his father was entirely unconcerned.


    But Ning Yixiao did not expect him to do this to his own biological child.


    He knew well that he should not get involved in this ¡ª it was beyond his power to do anything either ¡ª but Ning Yixiao still stepped in. Perhaps it was because he was reminded of himself in the past the instant he saw Ding Xiaochen checking his wound alone.


    That day, he bought medicine for the wound for Ding Xiaochen. On the way home, he ruminated for a very long time and wrote a long text to Ding Xiaochen. The rough idea was to teach him how to avoid being hit as well as provide some encouragement. For example, he was already growing up, and although it was hard to get through things, he had to learn to be strong to protect himself and his mother.


    But Ning Yixiao who had similar experiences understood most clearly that there was no helping this. Even filing a police report would not do much.


    If there existed a familial relation or a marriage certificate, any violent behavior, no matter how severe, could become acceptable. And so, the true sense of a crime would easily be buried.


    In the few days following this, Ning Yixiao still attended school and ran tests as usual.


    At school, he constantly helped out his teachers. Whenever he might be needed, he would agree, with no worry of how tiring or exhausting it was for him. And this time, he received repayment ¡ª he managed to receive an internship offer at a big manufacturer. So, Ning Yixiao¡¯s tensely paced life finally relaxed slightly.


    He first quit his cafe job, settled his pay and then searched for an apartment based on the rental information provided on the internet, hoping to find a cheap place for short-term rental during summer in costly Beijing.


    A week later, Professor Wang called him to his student group, so Ning Yixiao sat in the last row, behind over ten research students.


    In this student group meeting, he met Su Hui again. This time, Su Hui wasn¡¯t too late. He hurried in before Professor Wang arrived. He looked to be in a good mood, donned in a very soft pink short-sleeved shirt. The contrast made his skin seem incomparably pale. When he pushed open the door, his face was radiant.


    Ning Yixiao noticed his hands were behind him and his steps were light. Something seemed to be flashing on his earlobe, drawing his eyes. Ning Yixiao could only see it clearly when Su Hui walked closer. It was a small silver heart.


    Leisurely, Su Hui smiled as he sat down next to Ning Yixiao as though he was already used to doing this. He put down his bag and greeted him a lively good morning.


    Ning Yixiao came back to himself. He was about to return the greeting when he saw him extend a bouquet of flowers to him seemingly from thin air.


    It was a very small bouquet ¡ª one that he could hold with just a hand. It contained three blooming pinkish-white Chinese peonies that emitted a refreshing fragrance.


    ¡°For you,¡± Su Hui said very softly. ¡°Thank you for hearing me out last time.¡±


    Ning Yixiao quickly remembered Su Hui¡¯s sticky but light voice in the phone call, recalling the ants that he mentioned.


    ¡°Hold it well.¡± Su Hui pushed this bouquet of flowers in his hands. ¡°I wrapped it myself. It might not look that great, but the flowers bloomed so nicely. I took so long to pick them in the garden that I was nearly late.¡±


    Ning Yixiao was not used to receiving flowers at all. On Valentine¡¯s Day, he couldn¡¯t avoid receiving some public or anonymous gifts, but Ning Yixiao¡¯s attitude had always been cold. His first reaction was being at a loss of what he should do.


    Most gifts were of no use. And flowers were the most useless, with a very short period to appreciate it. They¡¯d wither in just a few days.


    At this stage of his life, romance was far too superfluous.


    Lowering his eyes to stare at the flowers in his hands, Ning Yixiao suddenly wondered, why did he strangely think of romance?


    ¡°This is the last batch of Chinese peonies. This one¡¯s called Icelandic Popsicle [1], a type that I really like.¡±  His finger pointed at one. It could completely be described as vibrantly decorated. Overlapping layers after layers of snow-white imbued with slight pink. Ning Yixiao¡¯s gaze couldn¡¯t help but shift from the flower to Su Hui¡¯s pink fingertips.


    ¡°It looks very pretty, doesn¡¯t it?¡± Su Hui lowered his eyes. When he smiled, he looked like a child. ¡°This is Arabian jasmine and is really fragrant. I tended to it for a very long time. The rain some time ago nearly damaged the flowers. But thankfully, Auntie Chen helped me salvage them. But there were still a few that withered¡­¡±


    He chattered on softly until Professor Wang came in. Then he turned his body into a proper sitting posture, taking out his laptop and very obediently looked forward.


    Ning Yixiao shifted his hand down a little, staring down at the wrapping paper in his hands only to realize there were words on it. Along the coarse borders were traces of it being torn.


    This looked like a page from a book that Su Hui had torn spontaneously and used to wrap the flowers.


    In this one-hour meeting, Ning Yixiao¡¯s mind was more unrestrained than usual. He rarely did not focus all his attention on the topic. Instead, he listened as he coded, as though he was forcing himself to concentrate through this method.


    When the meeting was almost over, as he stared at the page of the running code, his mind was still thinking about the final line on the paper:


    [The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it ¢Ù.]


    After the meeting, all of them stayed back a little longer. Professor Wang asked for their thoughts after the meeting and then talked a little more about the thesis framework and the test results.


    It was already 11.30 in the morning when they left. The sun today was good, its light splashing on Su Hui¡¯s pretty face through the gaps between the greens¡¯ shadows. He was virtually glowing.


    Su Hui walked in front, chatting with Professor Wang about a paper he read. When he spoke, he occasionally raised his hands and did some child-like movements.


    ¡°Yixiao?¡±


    When Zhang Shuo had called him for the third time next to him, Ning Yixiao finally pulled himself back. He looked over and smiled at him. ¡°Mhm, continue. I¡¯m listening.¡±


    Zhang Shuo chuckled too. He didn¡¯t notice anything and told him about the problems he encountered when attempting to adjust the coding, just short of taking out his laptop to get Ning Yixiao to help out right on the spot.


    Everyone walked until they almost arrived at the building where Professor Wang had to depart from the group for. Zhang Shuo also happened to have an optional class in the same building, so he left with the professor.


    Suddenly, only Ning Yixiao and Su Hui were left.


    Su Hui looked back at him, a very adorable smile on his face. He took a big step backwards to Ning Yixiao¡¯s right. His voice was very soft. ¡°Did you hide my flowers?¡±


    Ning Yixiao could practically smell the pleasant fragrance of nature on him. He nodded, a smile on his lips. ¡°I put them in my school bag.¡±


    For that reason, he was holding his books and laptop in his hands.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t that squash them?¡± Su Hui pretended to be very anxious. He came closer. ¡°Don¡¯t squish my flowers.¡±


    Ning Yixiao was taken aback. He wanted to remove his bag, but Su Hui¡¯s hands were already raised, pressing down right on his wrist.


    ¡°I was just joking,¡± Su Hui couldn¡¯t help but giggle. He let go. ¡°You take things so seriously.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine if they were squashed.¡± Su Hui looked at him. Ning Yixiao¡¯s facial features were chiseled. When he was not smiling, he looked very serious and very cold. The mole at the edge of his right eye was the only gentle part of him.


    ¡°I still have more.¡±


    Many more that I could give you.


    Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t respond again. The weight of the books and laptop seemed capable of flattening his body and pushing his heart to the right.


    He began to imagine the garden that Su Hui had. This didn¡¯t seem to be a good sign.


    After walking shoulder to shoulder for a long time, Su Hui had to leave. He took out a piece of candy from his pocket, meticulously peeling away the wrapper paper and shoving it in his mouth. Then, he looked up, subconsciously looking at Ning Yixiao.


    ¡°Do you want one?¡± His eyes were very bright.


    Ning Yixiao did not enjoy sweet food. He wanted to say no, but Su Hui¡¯s clenched fist was already extended to him.


    ¡°It tastes really nice,¡± he said.


    Ning Yixiao could only accept it then. It was a piece of candy.


    ¡°I¡¯m going now.¡±


    Once again, Su Hui was gone before he was prepared for it. His steps were light and quick, just like how it was when he arrived. He left Ning Yixiao standing at the same spot, palm open.


    He stared at the wrapping paper and suddenly realized it looked a little familiar.


    His memory was pulled back to a brilliant sunny day not too long ago. Back then, he was still working his part-time cafe job and had been clearing tables when he noticed an additional candy in the food plate that he had brought over.


    He did not remember how that customer looked. He only remembered he was very thin, very pale, and wore his cap very low.


    The wrapping paper of the candy was spotted in vibrant colors. It was very pretty. When he returned to the kitchen, his part-time colleague even teased him, saying she was surprised he liked sweets. She even commented that this candy wasn¡¯t cheap and was custom-made in Sweden. It was difficult to even buy it.


    In the years that Ning Yixiao lived, the places he visited could be counted with a hand. From the small fishing village to a county seat, and then to the capital. It was so bland that he could only draw a particularly sharp triangle on the map. Much less northern Europe where snow drifted all around.


    So, he remembered this candy for a long time. Because that was a rare token of appreciation he received when he worked.


    Ning Yixiao recalled the overly cold temperature back then, remembered that customer¡¯s voice that was so soft it was barely audible, as well as his snow-white hands.


    He had never expected that he¡¯d once again receive a precious piece of candy, and expected even less that the person back then was Su Hui.


    No wonder.


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s steps stopped, seemingly frozen in frame right before the dormitory, where people passed by.


    He finally understood why he felt strange when he left the theater room, when he was under the same umbrella as Su Hui.


    [Ning Yixiao, you have a mole here.]


    Back then, he clearly did not introduce himself. So, Su Hui should not have known his name.


    But he did. He knew it long ago.


    A strange feeling was brimming up in Ning Yixiao, and it lasted even until he reached his floor.


    The dorm was empty. He rummaged for a long while but still did not find anything that could function as a flower vase. So, he headed downstairs again to buy a bottle of mineral water. He twisted open the cap, drinking it as he returned to the dorm.


    Finally, Ning Yixiao cut open the plastic bottle and half-filled it. Then, he removed the wrapping paper from the bouquet, flattening it to keep it safely. He put the pretty, fragile flowers in the bottle, but no matter how he adjusted the stalks, it did not look as nice as how Su Hui had wrapped it.


    Their beauty was completely unbefitting of this place. Even where they rested was simply in a plastic bottle. Cheap and unstable. It looked utterly unsuitable.


    He gazed at it for a very long time even until the return of his roommates, who immediately made a fuss upon seeing it. ¡°Where¡¯d the flowers come from?¡±


    ¡°Tsk, things are just different when you¡¯re handsome. Someone gave you flowers again, and this time, we don¡¯t need to help you deal with it?¡±


    Another roommate even specifically came over to gossip. ¡°Hey, how was it? Is she pretty? [2]¡±


    He didn¡¯t speak, leaning back on the chair as he silently and intently stared at the Icelandic Popsicle.


    The roommate urged him again. ¡°Tell me, handsome boy. It¡¯s your first time bringing back and keeping the flowers. Who gave it to you? I¡¯m dying of curiosity here. Is she pretty or not?¡±


    This time, Ning Yixiao finally responded. His gaze was deep, tone calm. ¡°Yes, pretty. Are you happy now?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    ¢Ù Originates from Oscar Wilde¡¯s The Picture of Dorian Gray.


    Translator Note:


    [1] This flower doesn¡¯t seem to be named as such in English. It seems to be the Odile peony. However, we directly translated the name of the flower instead as the name will be important later on.


    [2] In the raws, the gender wasn¡¯t specified. But in the interest of making the dialogue flow and taking into account how his roommates¡¯ attitude was to homosexuality, we specified the female gender.

 CH 11

    Chapter 11: Rainy Blue


    A miserable reunion.


    Su Hui was not interested in his grandfather¡¯s birthday celebration. And with being very picky with his food too, he held no anticipation towards the delicately crafted but boring food.


    He wished it was more like when he was young ¡ª his family gathered around the dining table, a traditional shortcake placed on it as well as an ample feast that Auntie Chen made.


    But this was many years ago. After that, they practically never celebrated birthdays at home. In this occasion that should be warm by all rights, Su Hui was always forced to meet many people he had no relation to.


    His grandfather, Ji Tailu, demanded perfection and was draconian, intolerant of a single mistake. He viewed his face, which he had assiduously crafted through the years, as a precious treasure far more important than anything else.


    Even his mother was nearly chased out of home for dating and marrying Su Hui¡¯s father without his approval. He even left her with ruthless words: ¡°If you don¡¯t leave him, don¡¯t ever come back for the rest of your life.¡±


    Perhaps these words were too akin to a curse. Before his mother left the family, his father, Su Jin, was involved in a car crash and passed away. As if he was repaying his debts, he returned Ji Ya¡¯nan back to the Ji family.


    Ji Tailu was not sympathetic to the passing of Su Hui¡¯s father, but repeatedly and incessantly demanded for Su Hui to change his surname to his own. He believed that since Su Jin had left so early on, there was no need to leave any trace on his grandson.


    But under Ji Ya¡¯nan¡¯s conviction, this demand was not fulfilled. This was one of the rare times his mother held on, just like how she had willfully changed the ¡°nan¡± character (ÄÐ) in her name, which meant ¡°man¡±, into another ¡°nan¡± (éª).


    Su Hui often heard from his grandmother that his mother was very opinionated about her original name when she grew up. She believed that there was no need to compare her to a man [1]. The two were obstinate and fought about this numerous times. Finally, under his grandmother¡¯s mediation, each took a step back and had her change one character in her name.


    These events in the past made Su Hui terribly curious. How did his mother, who used to be quite rebellious regarding her name and love life, become like this today?


    Maybe it was because of him.


    Because her proud mother had a mentally ill child.


    ¡°I picked a set of clothes for you and put them in your room. Just wear this set to the party, not anything else. All right? And I¡¯ve prepared the present for you too. When you see your grandfather, give it to him.¡±


    Su Hui listened to his mother¡¯s voice on the phone and did not interrupt her ¡ª even if he personally believed that having someone else prepare a gift was extremely impolite.


    He knew that his mother did not trust him. Not many people did.


    Even Auntie Chen whom he adored could not a hundred percent believe him when he told her, ¡°I really did take my medicine¡±. She would still repeat the question with a doubtful attitude.


    ¡°Right. At five o¡¯clock, my hairstylist will go to our residence to cut your hair. Your hair is too long at the moment. It¡¯s not proper. Cutting it gives a much fresher look.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Su Hui responded calmly.


    Amidst the excitement from being in a mania episode and the desolation given by his family, Su Hui strolled from the garden back to his room. This was the mandatory route he took whenever he wanted to escape. It was like the journey of a dog bereaved of his owner squeezing itself through the flap in the door.


    Before he slid open the glass door, he already caught sight of the clothes on the white clothes rack. A white button up and black long pants, matched with a pair of expensive leather shoes.


    He stood in front of the rack barefooted, putting on the clothes in accordance with his mother¡¯s orders.


    The servant outside the door was knocking on the door without a stop, informing him that the hairstylist had arrived and thereby requesting him to go out. Su Hui was a little antsy, his fingers exerting more force in buttoning the shirt. In the end, the second button snapped off.


    Su Hui still went out like this.


    Faced with the hairstylist, he offered a friendly smile, letting his face and hair to be done up like a mannequin in the display window. All of the hairstylist¡¯s praises seemed soulless. Su Hui only wanted this to end quickly.


    The haircut was just done when Auntie Chen walked over with Su Hui¡¯s medication. Using a slightly louder voice to overcome the noise from the hairdryer, she said, ¡°Little Young Master, the mistress told me to count the medicine left. I see that it looks the same as in the morning. Did you forget to take it¡­¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s memory strength differed from normal people. Because of his illness, he would frequently lose memories of a few sections of his life like a frameskip, so everyone at home was doubtful of his words.


    But he obstinately said he had eaten. Auntie Chen felt a little awkward and only repeated that the amount of medication was unchanged and that his mother had ordered that usually, it was fine if he missed or skipped out on taking medication, but that was absolutely not allowed today.


    It was as if Su Hui wouldn¡¯t be let out if he didn¡¯t take the medicine. He didn¡¯t want to go anyway, nor did he want to throw a tantrum at Auntie Chen, so he just entered the garden like a little kid, searching everywhere for the watering can to take care of his flowers and plants.


    But Auntie Chen misunderstood. She thought that he wanted to search for a rope again, so the fear led her to immediately dial Ji Yanan¡¯s number.


    His mother swiftly changed her mind, returning home before heading to the hotel. She forced Su Hui to swallow two pills by using some unpleasant but effective methods in front of the hairstylist who hadn¡¯t had the time to make an escape yet.


    Seated at the back of the car, Su Hui had his head turned to look at the traffic outside the window, not moving. He had the thought of opening the door and bolting. But he couldn¡¯t open it.


    ¡°You did bring the present, right? That¡¯s a plotosaurus inkstone I had a friend purchase from a renowned craftsman with a large sum of money. I heard it¡¯s still an acceptable gift. Your grandfather should appreciate it too. He likes calligraphy too, so he¡¯d be able to make use of it too.¡±


    Su Hui did not look back. He remembered that heavy gift box and was reminded of a handmade gift he made once. He spent an entire month on it, and his grandfather did not outright say he did not like it ¡ª that would not be appropriate of his upbringing ¡ª but Su Hui could tell. He directly put it in his drawer, along with the wrapping box, without unwrapping it to exhibit it.


    Compared to an inkstone of immeasurable worth, what he had made was certainly cheaply priced.


    When he got out of the car, Su Hui could feel an obvious dizziness. He tried to recover on the spot. But as he walked to the hotel elevator, he was quietly chided by his mother.


    ¡°We¡¯re all waiting for you. Be faster.¡±


    ¡°Mom, I don¡¯t feel so good.¡± Su Hui walked to her side.


    ¡°Where?¡± Ji Ya¡¯nan looked at him in concern but noticed that Su Hui¡¯s collar was unbuttoned. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you wear your clothes properly?¡±


    She wanted to fix it, only to discover that the button had vanished entirely. She was a little displeasured then. ¡°Where¡¯s the button?¡±


    A nausea welled up in him. Su Hui held it back. ¡°I kind of¡­ want to vomit.¡±


    ¡°You really don¡¯t behave yourself. You even manage to tear off the buttons when wearing clothes.¡± Ji Ya¡¯nan could only pull down the shirt from behind him so that the collar raised some.


    The elevator arrived. She grabbed Su Hui¡¯s hand. ¡°Drink some tea to push the nausea down later. Did you secretly eat something you shouldn¡¯t? I¡¯ve already repeated countless times. When you¡¯re outside, you can¡¯t just eat anything¡­¡±


    What welcomed them in the hallway were guests who were in the middle of a call. Seeing Ji Ya¡¯nan, they smiled and greeted them. So, she fell quiet, offering a smile and stopped nagging at Su Hui.


    They had booked the biggest room which had the size of two suites. The inside was adorned with every mode of entertainment.


    At the center of the round dining table was a purple butterfly orchid. Some guests had already seated themselves down. The moment Ji Ya¡¯nan entered, the ones who were close to her approached her with smiles, conversing with the mother-son pair.


    An auntie whom they were not too close with approached Su Hui and embraced him very intimately. The thick illustrious perfume triggered Su Hui¡¯s lungs. Irises and violets. A thick scent of cosmetics assaulted him.


    He wanted to throw up badly.


    Su Hui held back his discomfort and was pulled to sit down next to his grandfather by Ji Ya¡¯nan who then handed the inkstone to him as though she was handing over homework.


    The shame of having someone handle the matters made Su Hui feel as if he was sitting on pins and needles.


    Those all-familiar people who had worked with his grandfather took a look at that inkstone one by one, each giving Su Hui a thumbs-up and pouring praises on him. Su Hui did not respond, simply seated with lowered eyes.


    ¡°There are still two years before Xiao Hui graduates, aren¡¯t there? When that time comes, will you be working at the central bank or¡­¡±


    Su Hui wanted to answer that he hadn¡¯t thought about it, but Ji Tailu chuckled. ¡°He still has the heart of a child and lacks many accomplishments, much unlike your own grandson who built a career so quickly. How young and promising.¡±


    The people began to compliment each other then. It was a scene that he could not be more familiar with. The dizziness was intensifying. He supported himself on the chair, but even taking a few gulps of tea did not suppress the repulsion and nausea. Even though he didn¡¯t eat anything at all, he fiercely wanted to throw up.


    Not far away, his grandmother freed herself from chatting with the other elderly women, heading towards Su Hui and gently pulling him into his arms. ¡°Why is our Xiao Hui thinner than before? Eat more.¡±


    Seeing his grandmother, Su Hui¡¯s mood improved a little. ¡°Grandmother, you look so good in these clothes.¡±


    ¡°By praising me, aren¡¯t you praising yourself? You picked these for me.¡± His grandmother was gentle-mannered.


    She had an interest in the arts and culture. When she was young, she was deeply engaged with it too. Now that she retired, she often traveled around the world and was rarely at home.


    But as long as she was home, Su Hui felt a sense of safety. His grandmother was different from everyone ¡ª she could understand him.


    Su Hui gave a child-like grin, but had not expected his grandfather next to him to sternly order, ¡°Su Hui, sit properly.¡±


    So, Su Hui could only pull himself out of his grandmother¡¯s arms and sat up straight.


    ¡°You¡¯re not a child anymore. Learn from your uncles. You¡¯re at this age, but you still seem like a child. Not a shred of maturity at all.¡±


    His expression was far too steely. Even the people around could not help but try to mediate. ¡°Xiao Hui is still so young. He¡¯s only at this age. Moreover, Mr. Old Ji, you only have this one grandson. Surely, he has a brilliant future ahead of him.¡±


    ¡°Exactly! When that time comes, won¡¯t he be a well-known figure!¡±


    ¡°Then we¡¯ll be under Xiao Su¡¯s care.¡±


    These people¡¯s perfunctory praises made Su Hui feel increasingly awful. He even couldn¡¯t help but imagine how things would be if he had not been born in this family. Or if these people would still behave like this if all  their wealth and status had vanished.


    Not long later, another person walked in. Su Hui raised his head and looked. It was Xu Zhi.


    The last time he saw this stepfather was a month ago. He heard he had been assigned a very important job out of town. When he came back, he would likely be promoted.


    Looking at how flushed he was with triumph, he had likely already received the good news.


    ¡°Xiao Xu is here.¡±


    Hearing a guest¡¯s comment, Ji Tailu raised his eyes and nodded slightly. Xu Zhi took off his jacket, apologies pouring out immediately. He even provided tea as an apology gift. Slyly considerate as usual.


    Seeing that he had come, Ji Ya¡¯nan smiled too as she came over. Even when she had maintained herself extremely well and was born with good looks, time still left its traces at the corner of her eyes. This was particularly more obvious when she stood in front of her partner who was eight years younger than her.


    It was not that no one objected to this ill-suited match. Ji Tailu was the first. But Xu Zhi wasn¡¯t just a simple man. When he was just a small employee, he actually convinced Ji Tailu with his own power to agree to let him be together with Ji Yanan.


    Su Hui¡¯s eyes gazed at Xu Zhi¡¯s feigned smile as he mentally thought that even his own biological father did not receive such acknowledgement.


    The talk about this couple never stopped behind their backs. A university student located in the valley who got on the nest of a phoenix and ascended all the way, changing his fate by relying on the sole daughter of the Ji family. But as if Xu Zhi never heard of such comments, he wholeheartedly worked on his career and climbed up the ladder.


    On the couch, Xu Zhi poured tea for Ji Tailu, the corner of his eyes catching Su Hui. ¡°Xiao Hui¡¯s complexion has been looking quite good recently. Your studies have been smooth, right? Did something interesting happen at school?¡±


    Su Hui forced a smile. ¡°No. Maybe it¡¯s because it¡¯s almost summer. I prefer summer, so I¡¯m in a pretty good mood.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good. Being in a good mood is the most important.¡± Xu Zhi himself sipped tea too.


    ¡°My office colleague has a daughter who recently got into a relationship. Her feelings for him are so deep. But sadly, the guy doesn¡¯t seem like a good guy. My colleague found him unreliable and told her to reconsider. But who¡¯d expect the girl to cry her eyes out. She isn¡¯t even eating anymore.¡±


    His grandfather listened and shook his head, placing the tea cup on the table. ¡°How unbecoming.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Xu Zhi smiled. ¡°You date someone to be happy too. If someone distresses and exhausts you mentally and physically, you¡¯ll be putting the cart before the horse.¡±


    A guest seemed to catch something, teasing with a laugh, ¡°Xiao Hui should have started dating someone by now too, right? You¡¯re so handsome. Many girls must be pursuing you.¡±


    Another one immediately chuckled. ¡°Right? My friend¡¯s daughter had a crush on Xiao Hui, so my friend even asked me for his number. But would I dare to do that? I quickly told him that this child is Old Ji¡¯s only grandson whom he treasured like no tomorrow. I told them not to have hope anymore.¡±


    Ji Tailu chuckled. ¡°You¡¯re exaggerating. He¡¯s not accomplished yet and it¡¯s not time yet either.¡±


    ¡°Yes. When it¡¯s time, this uncle will be a matchmaker for you. There are still many, many good girls in our circle.¡±


    ¡°Hey, doesn¡¯t Senior Official Wang have a granddaughter too¡­¡±


    Su Hui listened to them talk, and his ears began to ring. His mind was buzzing, and he really wanted to throw up.


    His grandmother was called away by his mother. A short few words from Xu Zhi had already turned him into the center of the conversation. He didn¡¯t even have the time to escape even if he wanted to.


    Su Hui sipped the tea again. It still didn¡¯t get better. His state seemed to be getting increasingly exacerbated.


    Almost everyone had arrived. The appetizers were just served, and his grandfather¡¯s old subordinates stood up and raised glasses, saying words of celebration. But they had just begun to speak when Su Hui could no longer bear with it. He sharply stood up, brisk walking out of the room to throw up in the washroom.


    His dizziness was still persisting. His legs were jelly too. Su Hui noticed that something seemed wrong. He didn¡¯t eat anything bad. It was lithium toxicity.


    In the room, Ji Ya¡¯nan smiled as she said that Su Hui recently had stomach flu and told everyone not to worry. After the guests have said their words of congratulations, she used the excuse of urging for the dishes to be served faster to search for her son. But she didn¡¯t find him.


    She turned on her phone and saw the messages from Su Hui. There were many, the sentences disordered and illogical.


    [Su Hui: I said I¡¯ve already taken my medicine, but you guys won¡¯t believe me and made me take it again]


    [Su Hui: I got lithium poisoning. Right now, I got it. I got poisoned.]


    [Su Hui: I know what to do. You guys spend the birthday properly. Don¡¯t come to find me. You guys are afraid of being talked about]


    [Su Hi: Sorry, Mom. Sorry]


    When she called him again, Su Hui had already switched off his phone.


    This wasn¡¯t the first time this happened. Ji Ya¡¯nan knitted her brows together, holding back her emotions as she turned to call driver Feng Zhiguo and tell him to find Su Hui.


    Having received the command, Feng Zhiguo drove around the places near the hotel but still did not see a trace of this willful little young master. He immediately found himself terribly vexed.


    This errand was not as easy as he thought.


    In this massive city, people who got frustrated at their work were everywhere. Ning Yixiao was one too.


    On this day, he could have calmly ended his tutoring job for this semester at first, but he saw that Ding Xiaochen had received an even more severe wound. The bruises on his neck were frightening, and his kneecaps were so swollen that he had to limp as he walked.


    Halfway through the class, Ning Yixiao got up and left the room to call the student¡¯s mother. She was hesitant in the call and explained things vaguely. When Ning Yixiao said ¡°this really can¡¯t go on anymore¡±, she began to sob helplessly.


    He requested Ding Xiaochen¡¯s mother to call the police, but she stuttered and stammered noncommittally.


    Ning Yixiao knew that he was not in the place to do anything. He wasn¡¯t even a genuine teacher. But he still told this mother a possible future that was even more severe, hearing her fall into a painful silence.


    Ten minutes later, Ning Yixiao brought her child to the hospital while remaining silent on the way there. Instead, it was Ding Xiaochen who reassured him, ¡°Laoshi, don¡¯t be angry.¡±


    Ning Yixiao usually always donned a smile and rarely looked expressionless. He knew that this would scare Ding Xiaochen, so he smiled. ¡°I¡¯m not angry.¡±


    When they waited for his turn at the hospital, he said again, ¡°You should be angry. You have the right to be. When you grow up, you absolutely can leave this family. Study well for this goal, understand?¡±


    Ding Xiaochen nodded. With his eyerims streaked in red, he whispered a ¡°thank you, Laoshi¡±.


    Ning Yixiao was not certain if he could still be his tutor after today, so he could only tell him, ¡°He¡¯s unworthy of being your father.


    ¡°I suggest that after you return home, let your mother bring you along to file a police report. Even if they can¡¯t give him a punishment now, you have to remember to grit your teeth and push through it. You can return all of it to him in the future.¡±


    Ding Xiaochen fought back tears as he nodded. He could not even say thank you. Ning Yixiao patted his shoulder and brought him for a check-up.


    In the middle of it, he received a call from Ding Xiaochen¡¯s father. So, he went to the corridor to take it.


    The man was admonishing him loudly in the call, nearly flying into a rage. Ning Yixiao listened silently, eyes staring at the hospital slogan plastered on the wall: Gather all parental love in the world, and spread warmth throughout the human realm.


    ¡°Who told you to poke your nose in? I spent money for you to tutor my son. Who the hell do you think you are? You even fucking made a complaint? You little shit, know your place!¡±


    Ning Yixiao listened to the finish, a slightly mocking smile playing on his lips.


    ¡°Mr. Ding, why are you so angry?¡±


    At this question, he instantly turned mute. He hadn¡¯t expected to get such a reaction.


    Ning Yixiao chuckled and spoke with a kind tone, ¡°Is it because I advised your wife to call the police? Or because I taught your son how to deal with someone like you?¡±


    ¡°You!¡±


    ¡°Mr. Ding, these are certainly your family matters. I¡¯ve never been interested. Of course, you can continue to hit Ding Xiaochen. At worst, you¡¯ll just beat him to death. But do you really dare to carry a life on your back? As I understand, you are a technical staff at an outsourcing company. You do not have much room for promotion, so it¡¯s easy to be replaced by new hires. And you still have a debt from large home loans too.¡±


    The man on the other end clearly lost the confidence he had earlier, but he still forced himself to pretend he was not afraid. ¡°What the hell is your point by saying all these!¡±


    Ning Yixiao was abnormally calm. ¡°You do not dare to really beat Ding Xiaochen to death. And one day, he will grow up too. You will become old. You¡¯ll become so old that you can¡¯t even lift a hand and would become crippled with just a kick.¡±


    ¡°You pay me, so I will give you a final class. For everything you do, you should ensure you have a retreat route, especially when it comes to your own son. After all¡­ people raise kids so that they can be looked after in old age, am I right?¡±


    Ning Yixiao chuckled and ended the call.


    He knew that after he did this, he would lose his job without a doubt.


    Ding Xiaochen¡¯s father is a weak and incompetent man. When he was mistreated at work, he only dared to take out his anger on his wife. Now that he had given him a metaphorical knife, he would undoubtedly think up all sorts of ways to complain about him.


    Ning Yixiao saw this coming long ago. So, he specifically chose to do this when the final class was over.


    A mere two to three minutes after sending Ding Xiaochen to his grandfather¡¯s place, the tuition agency¡¯s rebuking call came, ordering him to leave his job.


    But the tuition agency had no reason to do anything to his bonus pay [2] ¡ª it was as he expected.


    It was raining outside, leaving only him. On normal days, Ning Yixiao never hailed a cab. If he could save money, he would save. Today, he had paid a large sum of consultation and medicine fees for Ding Xiaochen, but was also clear that this was just a temporary help. He could not do more than this.


    At this time, Ning Yixiao remembered a sparse number of bad memories. Just like putting on an old jacket that you had forgotten for a long time, you¡¯d put your hands in the pockets and fish out some pieces of sun-dried tissues.


    When he was beaten up when he was younger, he had no hospital to go to. Hearing that salt could be a disinfectant, he ran to the seaside of the fishing village to clean his wound. But it ended up becoming increasingly worse. And he was almost mistaken as a thief by the villagers who were growing mussels. Caught by them, he was given a tough scolding.


    The sun that day was venomously tough. Ning Yixiao remembered that very clearly.


    Beijing rarely had drizzles of rain.


    By evening time, the sun had completely vanished. The sky was a gradually darkening ashen blue. Ning Yixiao walked on the pedestrian paths, crossing under the bridge. On his way were tall buildings flashing gold. Lively neon was reflected in the water, turning it into a dirty oil painting.


    He had no direction in mind. He just wanted to be brought to a happier place by this rain.


    Finally, Ning Yixiao reached a bus stop, and so, decided to return home finally.


    The advertisement board at the bus stop was emitting a bluish-purple glow in the rain. Dream-like, illusionary.


    His gaze was focusing little by little. Ning Yixiao faintly caught a familiar figure leaning on a rusted bench. His white shirt had been doused in light blue by the light. The outline of his figure was blurry, with many emptied mineral water bottles on the bench. And on the floor too. They lay haphazardly and seemed even more like a pile of melancholic wine bottles.


    His collar was open, face void. Shirt half-drenched, it looked a little translucent, just like a lonely painting.


    That was Su Hui. After Ning Yixiao confirmed this fact, he stood fixed to the spot.


    Perhaps there truly existed a strange telepathy; Su Hui turned his head at this moment and met his gaze.


    And reunited were two distraught individuals in miserable states.


    The author has something to say:


    Ning Yixiao, hurry and pick up Xiao Hui and take him back home. It¡¯s raining, and time to pick up a cat!


    Translator Note:


    [1] ×Ô¼º²»ÑÇÓÚÈκÎÒ»¸öÄÐÐÔ is more literally ¡°she was not inferior to any man¡±. This was a reference to her original name ¡°ÑÇÄС± which could be interpreted as ¡°inferior to men¡±.


    [2] ¿Îʱ·Ñ (lit. fee for the duration of class) specifically refers to the extra pay you get that is calculated based on how long you have continuously taught a specific student. The longer you taught this student, the higher the pay. This pay is on top of the usual pay you get for teaching students.


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: That last line! I¡¯m love! I also wanna share this instrumental song I found that has the same name as this chapter¡¯s title, ¡¶Rainy Blue £¨Ë{É«êŽÓ꣩¡·,

 CH 12

    Chapter 12: P. Medicine with Special Effects


    Just one night, won¡¯t you take me in?


    Ning Yixiao wore a cap, but Su Hui still recognized him instantly. Car lights swayed in the rain, leaving behind long rays of light akin to tangled ropes that bound them together.


    Drenched in the rain, Ning Yixiao approached him, habitually offering a smile first as he asked amicably, ¡°Why are you here?¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s hair was shorter than before and a little disheveled from the wind. His gaze was languid, like he held a freedom unique to teenagers ¡ª with a glimmering, flickering, drifting beauty.


    His tone was slow. ¡°I¡¯m playing. I ran out and walked and walked until I came here.¡±


    His babbling nonsense that jumped through topics was treated with great acceptance. Ning Yixiao stood in front of Su Hui, taking away each of the empty bottles he had placed on the bench to sit next to him.


    ¡°What are you playing?¡± Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t look at him and only asked.


    A gust of wind assaulted them, bringing with it droplets of rain. Su Hui closed his eyes, spreading his arms open and letting the wind puff up his shirt before vanishing. He let the wind approach every inch of his skin.


    ¡°I like the wind so much,¡± he whispered softly.


    Ning Yixiao did not mind him jumping through the topics. ¡°Why?¡±


    Su Hui opened his palm, feeling the wind blow through the gaps of his fingers, eyes on the swaying shadows of trees on the other side of the road.


    ¡°When there¡¯s wind, this world doesn¡¯t seem like it¡¯s dead. Everyone is alive.¡±


    Ning Yixiao understood what he meant very well. His lowered hands subconsciously opened up to feel the moving air and rain between his fingers.


    He looked at Su Hui. ¡°You cut your hair?¡±


    ¡°Mm-hmm.¡± Su Hui nodded, somewhat strengthless, before he suddenly whipped his head upwards, smiling as he asked Ning Yixiao, ¡°Do I look good?¡±


    For some reason, when Ning Yixiao saw this smile, he felt a little saddened. He was unable to differentiate if he was just projecting his emotions or if he truly sensed something.


    ¡°Yeah. It was good before too,¡± He answered.


    Su Hui giggled again. This time, it was more heartfelt.


    ¡°I liked it better before too. They were the ones who wanted me to cut my hair. They think this makes me look more spirited.¡±


    As he spoke, he wanted to stand up, but dizziness instantly took hold of him. He bent over, elbows on his kneecaps, head feebly lowered.


    He still felt like throwing up.


    Through the drenched shirt, Ning Yixiao could see his slightly protruding shoulder blades.


    ¡°You drank alcohol?¡± Ning Yixiao bent over to check his state. ¡°Looks like you didn¡¯t just drink a little.¡±


    As he spoke, his gaze shifted to those water bottles, mentally thinking, So this person gets very thirsty when drunk.


    Su Hui hadn¡¯t yet decided whether to tell him the real reason. But in the end, he didn¡¯t deny it. He still felt terrible. His state worsened after he bent over, so he pushed himself up on his knees, but that nearly made him vomit.


    Ning Yixiao immediately supported him, two hands holding onto his elbow. ¡°Are you alright? You want to throw up?¡±


    Su Hui didn¡¯t dare to shake his head and half-leaned on Ning Yixiao. ¡°I¡­ I want to use the toilet.¡±


    Hot breath circled Ning Yixiao¡¯s neck, causing his muscles to stiffen up. Ning Yixiao let go of Su Hui and let him sit up properly while he crouched down to collect each and every of the bottles to throw into the trash. Then, he helped him up.


    The moment Su Hui got up, his collar was tugged open, exposing a large patch of paper-pale skin that looked easy to leave marks on. And when marks were left, they would vanish very easily too.


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s steps stopped abruptly. He took off his cap to put it on Su Hui¡¯s head.


    Dizzy as Su Hui was, he was a little bewildered, emitting noises like the mews of a kitten. ¡°Mnh?¡±


    ¡°Wear it.¡± Ning Yixiao held onto him. ¡°If your hair gets wet, it¡¯s easy to fall sick.¡±


    There were no public washrooms nearby, so he took Su Hui to walk for a while. Although the rain was not heavy, it was not acceptable to stay under it. Su Hui¡¯s shirt was already soaked through. He planned to find a restaurant to settle matters, but Su Hui pointed with a finger, mumbling that there seemed to be a bar at the corner of the street.


    Though he said it was a bar, he might as well have said hotel. A crowd stood outside, both Chinese and foreigners. And each of them donned an expression that said they were so bored that they had nowhere to kill time.


    Remembering his practiced pointing of the place, Ning Yixiao could not help but link Su Hui together with these people. But he still felt they were a little different.


    Two men stood at the hotel entrance, their hands holding objects which could leave temporary fluorescent marks on the back of one¡¯s hands. Their eyes scrutinized Ning Yixiao¡¯s cheaply priced short-sleeved shirt and then the branded watch on Su Hui¡¯s wrist.


    ¡°Hello. The entrance fee for men is three hundred. Cash, WeChat Pay or Alipay are all OK.¡±


    Ning Yixiao was momentarily tongue-tied, the request to borrow the washroom trapped in his throat.


    But Su Hui looked up and very bluntly spoke, though not very fluidly, ¡°L-Let me borrow¡­ The washroom, please¡­¡±


    Seeing his face, the man at the door immediately made a face of incredulity. He stared at him up and down and then he threw a side glance at Ning Yixiao. ¡°Ooh, the show hasn¡¯t even started and you¡¯ve already gotten yourself so drunk? Careful that someone sexually assaults you, handsome boy.¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s face changed. Su Hui¡¯s brain seemed to have frozen. It was still thinking about the three hundred the employee had mentioned, so he subconsciously reached for his pocket. But he hadn¡¯t expected his wrist to be grabbed. He looked up then to see Ning Yixiao¡¯s furrowed eyebrows.


    ¡°Leave with me.¡±


    Su Hui was a little perplexed. Even when he was dragged a few steps away, he still did not remember to ask him where they were going. He just strenuously said, ¡°I need the washroom¡­¡±


    Ning Yixiao said that he knew, but he still dragged on his hand to pull him onto a bus.


    Su Hui no longer remembered when he last took the bus. A few phrases popped up in his mind ¡ª danger, mental hospital, crowded ¡ª but they dissipated very quickly. Because he discovered that among these riders packed like sardines, Ning Yixiao had circled his arms around him without touching him. It was a safe barrier appropriately distanced


    He instantly felt that those three phrases had nothing to do with him anymore.


    In his muddled state, some illusions appeared in Su Hui¡¯s vision. He suddenly saw the sea on Ning Yixiao¡¯s face. A deep, black-colored sea. But it very quickly changed into a small, tiny pill, changing from black to white.


    Illusions like that persisted until Ning Yixiao pulled him out of the bus. Like taking care of a child, he half held him in his arms as he took him to a run-down old building.


    There was no lift here. The apartment building was just like an entrance to an ashen tomb. Its interior was pitch-black with the stench of rotten fruits and meat drifting through the air. Coupled with the moist smell of mold, it left one unable to see any sign of vitality.


    Su Hui¡¯s weak focus was drawn to a small advertisement in the building corridor and then drawn away by the black soot. He stared at the dirt on the wall and nearly tripped over the rubbish bag at the door of another apartment in the corridor.


    He felt himself heading downwards, body uncontrollably leaning forward ¡ª but was pulled back by Ning Yixiao.


    After steadying on his feet, he heard the fragmented sound of a key placed into the hole. The door opened, melting into the dark corridor. Su Hui was taken inside.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need me to help you, do you?¡± Ning Yixiao said as he pulled him to a very, very tiny door by his wrist.


    The light was switched on. The space inside was cramped and small. The sparse few toiletries were placed on a yellowing, damaged ceramic sink. A couple more were on the window sill.


    Su Hui entered while supporting himself on the wall. The illusions did not stop. Everything seemed to have gotten bigger. He felt like he was an intruder from the land of tiny people, bumping himself on everything. His knees directly hit the cabinet under the sink.


    ¡°Never mind.¡±


    He heard Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice. And then his arms were grabbed and he was brought to the urinal area. Only then did Ning Yixiao let go.


    Then he left, leaving behind a sentence, ¡°I¡¯ll wait for you outside.¡±


    It was a hard task for Su Hui to wash his hands too. He kept misidentifying the position of the tap and spent ages on it as though he was playing a game of hide-and-seek. When he came out, he was tripped by the door threshold. With his hands still wet, he immediately fell into Ning Yixiao¡¯s arms; he had been standing properly by the door. Su Hui even left wet hand prints on his clothes.


    Very clearly, Su Hui could feel Ning Yixiao¡¯s body stiffen slightly before he was pushed away.


    ¡°Exactly how much did you drink?¡±


    Ning Yixiao found it strange. He couldn¡¯t smell alcohol on Su Hui, and just thought his limbs were very weak and his hands were trembling slightly.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, do you still have water¡­¡±


    Likely because the metabolism had kicked in and the drugs had been gradually expelled from the body, the illusions slowly vanished. Su Hui¡¯s vision recovered, and he could see how the room looked.


    This was a cramped apartment with two rooms, a living room and no windows. The room was dimly lit, the living room was thin and long, connected to an even narrower kitchen. Like a sickle, the two doors were next to each other,  with the wood on the doors chipped off and spotted.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have mineral water. Is it fine if I just boil some water now?¡±


    ¡°Mhm, yes.¡± Su Hui nodded, subconsciously grabbing Ning Yixiao¡¯s hand. ¡°I want to drink salted water.¡±


    He looked so well-behaved, his eyes glassy, making one impossible to reject.


    Ning Yixiao could only bring him to his room and then boil a pot of water, pouring it in the only mug that he had. He added some salt as requested and brought it into the room.


    He had only obtained the key last night. Before class this morning, he moved over a portion of his things. Ning Yixiao had mysophobia. So, he had mopped the floor thrice and wiped it four times with disinfectant water. With the remaining amount of time, he could only set up his bed. So, his luggage was still completely piled in this small room that was less than ten square meters, unpacked.


    Meanwhile, Su Hui was just seated at the only free spot on the floor that wasn¡¯t occupied by the luggage. His head was tilted, leaned on the edge of the bed, his back facing Ning Yixiao, unmoving. Just like a delicate doll that did not belong here.


    This was a basement that was converted into two rooms and a living room, and it did not have a window, so the room was stuffy. Ning Yixiao spotted his hair sticking to the back of his neck, so he effortfully moved the luggage boxes away, walking to the sole small desk there to turn on the old fan left by the landlord. He took the chance to cool down the mug of water too.


    The moment the fan turned on, Su Hui seemed to have come back alive again. He opened his eyes, staring fixedly at the creaking, spinning fan.


    ¡°Do you want to drink?¡± Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t have space to stand, so he sat on his luggage, extending the mug over. ¡°It¡¯s hot. The water was just boiling.¡±


    ¡°Mhm.¡± Su Hui reached out. ¡°I¡¯m not afraid of it being hot.¡± As he responded, he took the mug and held it in his hands, drinking in small sips. But it was still too hot. Each time he sipped, Su Hui had to raise his head at the fan so that it blew at his warm face.


    He took great effort to finish the water. Su Hui felt that he was about to be shrouded in steam. He leaned on the bed, eyes staring at Ning Yixiao. His voice was even more languid than usual. ¡°Why did you move out? Don¡¯t you have a dorm?¡±


    Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t mind his abrupt question. He donned his usual smile. ¡°I received an internship offer from a company, and I still have to stay in school during summer break to work on my projects and the thesis. But I didn¡¯t apply to stay in the dorm, so I can only find a place outside.¡±


    As he answered, he found a towel that he had used only a couple of times from his luggage, extending it to Su Hui and motioning him to wipe away the water on him.


    ¡°It¡¯s a very good company, right? Where is it? Is it far to get to work?¡± Su Hui accepted the towel, the smile on his face obvious. The long eyelashes that usually looked a little heavy were fluttering agilely along with the smile.


    ¡°It¡¯s far.¡± Ning Yixiao only answered the last question.


    ¡°Then why not find a place closer?¡±


    ¡°Because this place is cheaper.¡± Ning Yixiao still answered the question with relative patience and then straightforwardly asked the little young master, ¡°Now that you¡¯ve gone to the washroom and drank water too, are you going home? I¡¯ll send you off.¡±


    He¡¯d thought Su Hui would cooperate, but he surprisingly shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m not going back.¡±


    Su Hui rested his chin on his arm, sucking in a deep breath. ¡°Ning Yixiao, I don¡¯t have a place to stay anymore.¡±


    These words did not sound convincing.


    The voice of Ning Yixiao¡¯s roommate suddenly rang out in his mind. Those seemingly true yet untrue amorous topics surfaced in his mind one by one.


    How could he be someone without a place to stay?


    Su Hui suddenly turned his head, moving slightly closer to Ning Yixiao. With a gaze that could easily obtain everything it wanted, he looked at him, pleading, ¡°Can I stay at your place here tonight?¡±


    Only less than twenty centimeters lay between them. Ning Yixiao could distinctly see the beads of sweat on the tip of his nose. He clearly didn¡¯t quite have much of an expression and even seemed a little distant, but his glassy eyes exuded a fragile sort of enticement.


    ¡°Just one night. Won¡¯t you take me in?¡± Su Hui wasn¡¯t quite steady in this kneeling posture. He paused and raised his head. ¡°Really. I won¡¯t take your bed. I won¡¯t squeeze with you. I¡¯ll just lie on the floor. No¡­ I don¡¯t need to sleep too.¡±


    A tinge of excitement was in his demeanor ¡ª it was not obvious.


    ¡°Help me out. No matter what, I don¡¯t want to go home toda¡­¡± Su Hui spoke but suddenly stopped. He moved closer, reaching out to grab the spot in front of Ning Yixiao¡¯s face.


    Taken aback, Ning Yixiao instinctively caught his hand.


    ¡°There¡¯s an insect¡­¡± Su Hui whispered softly.


    Ning Yixiao was very certain. ¡°There¡¯s no insect.¡±


    Su Hui felt that he wasn¡¯t mistaken. He suddenly shifted forward, leaving only ten centimeters of distance between the two.


    ¡°There is, right? A little flying insect¡­¡± He stared at Ning Yixiao¡¯s face and blinked. He abruptly reached to touch his right eye and then giggled. ¡°No, no. It¡¯s your mole.¡±


    Ning Yixiao was left at a slight loss from this, so he grabbed his two hands at once, holding them together as though he was a criminal. ¡°Don¡¯t move any way you want.¡±


    ¡°Okay then¡­¡± Su Hui mumbled softly.


    When Su Hui opened his mouth to speak at such a close distance, Ning Yixiao suddenly noticed the tip of his tongue.


    A pink medicine pill seemed to be on it.


    Ning Yixiao raised an eyebrow. ¡°You just took medicine?¡±


    ¡°Nhn?¡± Su Hui seemed surprised at first. After tilting his head in contemplation for a while, he then laughed. He wanted to wave his hand in dismissal only to remember his hands were grasped. So, he only shook his head. ¡°Noo.¡±


    His eyes were sparkling with some slyness. He raised his head then, parting his lips to stick out his tongue for Ning Yixiao to look. The ¡°medicine pill¡± was pinned on the pink tongue surface. The tip of the wet tongue slid across teeth, trembling slightly and then curling upwards to reveal the bottom of the tongue piercing.


    The corners of his lips raised, Su Hui¡¯s teeth held the tongue tip in place ¡ª just like biting down gently on a pill.


    Such a display was very suggestive. So suggestive that though it was just for a short while, it had eased to a slow frame in Ning Yixiao¡¯s eyes.


    What terrified him was, his first reaction was actually¡ª what would that feel like?


    He wanted to stick his finger in to try.


    These reactions that leaped out at him had given Ning Yixiao a thorough fright. His rationality immediately urged him to stop as his heart beat rapidly. But in the next second, his will attempted to force himself to calm down.


    The pill seemed to be truly taking effect. Bitterness had spread in his mouth.


    To Su Hui, this might not be worth a note at all. Ning Yixiao thought, perhaps, it was not his first time to show it to someone else. Or perhaps, the alcohol had gone to his head, so doing anything at all was as natural as ever.


    It did not have anything to do with who it was. He was just someone who happened to discover it.


    Su Hui laughed as he closed his mouth, explaining, ¡°It¡¯s a tongue pin. I don¡¯t really feel that happy today, so I put it on.¡±


    These words didn¡¯t have much logic.


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s drifting thoughts came back a little. He looked towards him and unexpectedly asked an illogical question. ¡°Does it work?¡±


    Su Hui was very fascinated by his reply. This was the first time someone could eliminate all the answers he did not like and throw out such a response.


    As weird a person as he was, he could still be on the same channel as another person.


    ¡°Mm¡­¡±¡± Su Hui¡¯s voice was soft and light, his tone completely opposite from his words. ¡°I originally wanted to just anger someone just a little bit. If they discover that I put this on, they¡¯ll get a headache. I don¡¯t want to be put there like an exhibit for everyone to see. I¡¯m a person, not a toy. But sadly, those adults only care about socializing. They didn¡¯t even have the time to notice¡­


    ¡°But the first person to discover it is you. So, my mood suddenly became good again.¡±


    As he spoke, the ¡°pill¡± on his tongue tip was faintly visible every now and then.


    A pill that would never ever melt.


    Su Hui looked towards Ning Yixiao, his smile pure. ¡°Does that count as super effective?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    So lewd


    For someone to immediately imagine sticking his finger in, he¡¯s really a bit of an S now¡­


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: NYX name meaning Just One Night. Su Hui asking NYX to take him in for Just One Night.


    Cai: mathladymeme.jpg

 CH 13

    Chapter 13: P. On the Cliff Edge of Indecision


    So, even you¡¯ll get curious about me?


    Ning Yixiao had always considered himself to have the determination of a rock. Living until now, he only focused on climbing upwards and would absolutely never waver due to any reason or anyone.


    He socialized mostly for the utility it would bring him. He would consider if the other party would be able to help him, if they would add some contributions in the next step of his plan. Whenever someone approached him, he would make a judgment and observe. Whether they could become friends depended on whether there were benefits to be gained. For example, all the teachers who had taught him before. And for example, students who wrote a large number of papers. And another example, seniors who had the resources to recommend people.


    Ning Yixiao was well aware that he was a tawdry, cold person.


    But.


    When the word ¡°but¡± appeared in Ning Yixiao¡¯s mind, in this instant, he reminded himself incessantly that he and Su Hui were people of two different words.


    The distance between them was like a sun suspended in the sky. No matter how they avoided it, it existed forever, impossible to be wiped away.


    Even though Su Hui was of the type who was very worthy of being used. He had an outstanding background, with money and power. In Ning Yixiao¡¯s vulgar measurement of worth, he belonged to a type that was very useful.


    But he instinctively feared getting close. He didn¡¯t want to pass judgment over him. He did not want to inspect him.


    He was that down to earth, yet, he did not want to know at all, what level of position Su Hui¡¯s grandfather held. He did not want to know exactly how many assets his family had. Even if he knew, it would not tempt him.


    Ning Yixiao did not even want to understand exactly why Su Hui was willing to approach him, and how close his next step would be.


    It seemed as though he was standing in front of a beautiful whirlpool [1]. And he understood well that if he took the next step, there might be no way to free himself anymore.


    ¡°Does it?¡± Ning Yixiao took a step back and smiled. ¡°Maybe putting this on just puts you in a better mood, so who noticed it is not important.¡±


    As smooth-tongued as he usually was, he abruptly returned to the previous topic. ¡°I have OCD. I¡¯m not used to sleeping with someone else. I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s better if I send you home after all.¡±


    These words were already straightforward enough. But unexpectedly, Su Hui laughed. ¡°But in the self-study room, there was just you and me, and you still slept so soundly.¡±


    Ning Yixiao tugged the corner of his lips. ¡°I was very tired then.¡±


    ¡°You are very tired now too.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s bluntness was entirely effortless and could not earn anyone¡¯s ire too. It had a strong sense of unrestrained freedom. ¡°I can tell. You¡¯re unhappy and very tired.¡±


    The smile on Ning Yixiao¡¯s face gradually vanished. He did not answer.


    At times, he deeply envied Su Hui¡¯s straightforwardness and na?vet¨¦.


    The two¡¯s silence was very short-lived. The sound of a door closing came abruptly from the outside. And then came a few isolated words of a man and a woman.


    Su Hui tilted his head slightly, looking at Ning Yixiao.


    ¡°They should be the couple that are renting this place together with me. They¡¯re back.¡± Ning Yixiao explained. ¡°I just moved in and heard this from my landlord. I haven¡¯t said hi to them yet.¡±


    Su Hui nodded and then smiled. ¡°Since there are still two more people, adding me wouldn¡¯t be too much, right?¡±


    Ning Yixiao nearly laughed because of his logic. But then he thought he shouldn¡¯t argue with a drunk. ¡°It¡¯s not like they stay in the same room as me.¡±


    Su Hui emitted a slight noise similar to a kitten. After a long time, he spoke up, ¡°Okay then. I¡¯ll leave.¡±


    As he spoke, he supported himself on the edge of the bed, pushing himself up strenuously. But he found it wasn¡¯t that easy.


    ¡°Are you going home?¡± Ning Yixiao reached out to support him.


    Su Hui shook his head frankly. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Then where are you going?¡±


    ¡°Just¡­¡± Su Hui¡¯s eyes were still a little glazed over. ¡°I¡¯ll just play around nearby, walk around. A night will pass very quickly.¡±


    As he replied, he had already decided to walk aimlessly on the roads. He even thought of looking around a drum tower.


    Ning Yixiao knitted his eyebrows together slightly. ¡°What¡¯s there to play outside with at night? The shops are already closed.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s thoughts were all jumbled and he just responded immediately, ¡°But there are shops that are open at night too, right¡­¡±


    He wanted to continue, but Ning Yixiao suddenly gave in. ¡°Never mind. You can stay.¡±


    He didn¡¯t know why. Su Hui¡¯s mind was still thinking of the ¡°24-hour convenience store¡± he didn¡¯t manage to say. But after some thought, he put it aside. His goal had been reached after all.


    Without any warning sign, he took out a blanket meant for use in air-conditioned rooms and laid it out on the floor. Then he took out a thin blanket from his luggage and put it on the bed.


    ¡°Take the bed,¡± he said.


    Su Hui immediately expressed his opinion. ¡°No need. I can just sleep on the floor.¡±


    ¡°Your health isn¡¯t good. The bed is a little small, so just bear with it for a night.¡± After he said this, Ning Yixiao pushed open the door to wash up.


    Su Hui sat on the bed quietly. Perhaps it was the excitement from his illness that made him feel like he had plenty he wanted to tell Ning Yixiao. But the medicine was dragging him away. The heart that wanted to be a little more normal was pulling him back too ¡ª to let him maintain a normal conversation.


    In the past, he was never afraid of seeming different in front of someone else.


    But Ning Yixiao appeared. Su Hui was both anticipating for him to discover how he was different, but also hoping that he wouldn¡¯t be afraid of him.


    Ning Yixiao was as strange as him. He would never ask Su Hui anything more than necessary. He would not ask him who he had argued with, why he intentionally wanted to make someone unhappy, and he didn¡¯t ask about him getting himself drunk and was not curious why he wasn¡¯t heading home. He had shown an immense amount of acceptance to any weird words or behavior from him ¡ª almost to the extent of ignoring these.


    He was a cold-hearted person in the first place, probably, Su Hui thought.


    But very quickly, Su Hui eliminated this thought. Ning Yixiao was not cold-hearted. When he was really about to leave this place by himself, he caved in again.


    Even until he fell asleep, Su Hui gazed at Ning Yixiao¡¯s back as he lay on the side, staring at the black top that was so worn out it was turning gray, and at the same time, he relentlessly urged himself to be quieter, to just think about it and not make a sound.


    He was willing to behave a little inappropriately in a birthday party that required face. But he did not want to interrupt Ning Yixiao¡¯s sleep.


    But what was unfortunate was that the next-door couple was far from being as considerate as he was. The soundproofing was too poor. Some fragments of quickened voices faintly came. Like the image through frosted glass, it was indistinct but lured one to think deeper.


    Su Hui lay there quietly, spacing out a little. The sounds from next door were becoming increasingly louder. They could not even hide the moans, and the fierce panting.


    Ning Yixiao was not asleep.


    Once he closed his eyes, the image of Su Hui showing him his tongue piercing drifted in his mind, never-ending. So, he could only have his back face the bed, eyes wide. After the sounds from next door stopped for a while, they suddenly started up again.


    This was the first night that he spent here. And he completely hadn¡¯t expected this pair of lovers to be so fervently hard at work. They were completely in the honeymoon period.


    Remembering that Su Hui had said he did not need to sleep, Ning Yixiao wanted to sigh. Pressed against the wall and with such a hard bed which lacked even a mattress, the young master probably can¡¯t even fall asleep even if he wanted to.


    Recalling that he had a pair of earplugs, he turned to ask Su Hui if he needed them. But once he turned around, Ning Yixiao saw Su Hui being like a small animal that was completely incapable of understanding human lust ¡ª with an innocent expression, eyes wide and big, and very empty.


    Noticing Ning Yixiao turn around, Su Hui blinked slowly.


    Ning Yixiao asked in a suppressed voice, ¡°Do you want earplugs? The soundproofing in this house is terrible.¡±


    Su Hui shook his head.


    Ning Yixiao thought that he didn¡¯t want to talk, but hadn¡¯t expected him to suddenly speak up.


    ¡°I really want to knock on their door.¡±


    What?¡±


    Ning Yixiao was taken aback.


    ¡°But going now would scare them, right?¡± Su Hui was continuing on by himself quietly, as though he was very seriously considering this suggestion.


    ¡°Don¡¯t go. It¡¯ll be a little better if you put on earplugs. You basically wouldn¡¯t hear anything. There¡¯s no need to have a talk with them because of this.¡± Ning Yixiao approached the head of the bed, reaching and searching for the earplug case he had put by the pillow.


    ¡°Noo.¡± Su Hui¡¯s voice was much closer. He had moved closer too, his pair of eyes particularly bright in the dark night. ¡°I¡¯m just a bit curious.¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s hand stopped. ¡°Curious about?¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s face was very serious and even held a very genuine desire for the answer. ¡°They seem very happy. Does it feel that good?¡±


    At the same time he said these words, the sounds from next door suddenly deafened much more, then it quickly quietened, the panting suppressed but hot.


    But Ning Yixiao¡¯s heart was even more suppressed than theirs as he gazed back at Su Hui amidst the night and the heavy breathing.


    ¡°You only want to ask about that?¡± He asked.


    Su Hui nodded, eyes glassy.


    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be very familiar with these things?¡±


    In the dark, Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice sounded much colder than usual.


    But Su Hui¡¯s voice was full of incomprehension. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°They all said you have many¡­ partners.¡± He was not sure what words he should use to accurately describe what he meant without offending him.


    Even if he had found this word, he still felt that he had been imprudent, just like catching sight of a glowing fish at the bottom of the lake in the dark but chose to throw a rock in the center of the lake.


    Passion was reaching its boiling point. The air seemed to have turned gooey due to what was happening at the other side of the wall.


    When the ripple had vanished, he heard Su Hui¡¯s very quiet laugh.


    ¡°So, even you¡¯ll get curious about things about me?¡±


    Ning Yixiao was left tongue-tied. Such a conversation happened often between them, so it was not novel. It was like they were playing a game of spin-the-bottle. Su Hui did not admit nor deny it and only spun the bottle in an alluring move, pushing the mouth of the bottle towards him. If he admitted it, it was like he would fall into a disadvantage.


    So, Ning Yixiao only remained silent.


    The silence between them made the heaty intimacy from next door even more glaring. Teases and laughter, words of love, the overwhelming sweet affection between lovers soaked through the thin wall, spreading its fieriness all around.


    In the end, it was still Su Hui who broke this stirring silence.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao.¡±


    ¡°Mm?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so hungry. Do you have anything here that I can have?¡±


    He changed the topic, and he had come closer too, almost to the edge of the bed now.


    It was as if he gave Ning Yixiao a way out. So, he didn¡¯t struggle and just side-stepped the earlier topic, catching the new rope that Su Hui had tossed over.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take a look.¡±


    ¡°Wait. I¡¯ll go with you.¡± Su Hui very quickly slid off the bed, following behind Ning Yixiao. He could feel that Ning Yixiao actually wanted to stop him, but because he walked too fast, he swallowed it back.


    Both of them were worried they would disturb the two next door, so they quietened their steps and entered the kitchen, one following right behind the other.


    This place was so dark that nothing could be seen clearly. But Ning Yixiao seemed to have the ability to live in the dark, moving through the corridor with ease and did not even forget to wait for Su Hui.


    Su Hui was a little young master who lived in a glamorous residence, a person who drifted in the high layer of clouds. He would not know how to walk through a dark little room with mountains of rubbish and junk.


    There was no door to the kitchen. Ning Yixiao felt around for the door frame. He did not turn on the light and only walked over to open the refrigerator.


    Warm, yellow light glowed, splashing in this cramped tiny kitchen. Su Hui could distinctly see Ning Yixiao standing in front of the refrigerator, rummaging through with furrowed eyebrows and then taking out a plastic bag from inside.


    ¡°This is the only thing I have.¡± Ning Yixiao explained, ¡°The ingredients inside are all theirs and not mine. I can¡¯t use them to cook for you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s okay.¡± Su Hui moved closer. ¡°What is this?¡±


    Through the thin layer of the plastic, he could see they were the shapes of fruits. Ning Yixiao opened up the bag, revealing two peaches inside.


    He took one out, twisting the water tap to wash it before handing it to Su Hui. ¡°Just eat something small to fill up your stomach first. If you are that hungry, I¡¯ll take you out.¡±


    ¡°A peach is fine. I like them a lot.¡± Su Hui accepted it. The honey peach was very big. It was just the right size for him to hold it with one hand. And it was soft. Beyond the whiteness was a very thick red.


    ¡°When did you buy it?¡± Su Hui half-lowered his head, biting down very politely. But evidently, he hadn¡¯t expected excess juice and was unprepared. But his refined upbringing taught Su Hui to remain unflustered just like a coiled doll that responded in reflex. He cleaned it up very gently and properly.


    The warm light from the fridge was filling this place up like a fog. Su Hui¡¯s face was vividly expressive and beautiful, half-transparent juice on the corners of his lips. The hand he held on the peach was stained with the sweet liquid.


    ¡°Are you eating?¡± After wiping his clothes dry, Su Hui looked up at Ning Yixiao, extending the fruit to him. ¡°It¡¯s very sweet.¡±


    Ning Yixiao rejected it. But his body felt warm.


    ¡°If you¡¯re not eating them, why did you buy them?¡± Su Hui raised his eyes in perplexity, the pursing of his lips wiping away the faint pink peach juice by his lips.


    Ning Yixiao did not respond, some memories surfacing in him.


    It was just the day before. Back then, he had just finished class and he was so exhausted that he practically fell asleep standing on the bus. When he got off the bus, he happened to see an old man selling peaches. Pink, tender and beautiful peaches were piled up in the large wicker basket, stacked tidily in a way that looked clean and fresh.


    For some reason, back then, he thought of Su Hui in a pink top, thought of his full and translucent face, the tiny baby hairs on his face under the sunlight, as well as the abundant innocence that exuded from every inch of him.


    But the price was not low. Just two set him back by fourteen yuan.


    At this time, Su Hui reached out with the peach-scented hand, waving in front of Ning Yixiao¡¯s eyes as his big, dole eyes stared at him.


    Ning Yixiao came back to himself then, clearing his throat. ¡°I just happened to see it and thought it looked quite good. I also happened to come here to get the key from the landlord and move my things, so I just bought two to put in the fridge to be eaten when I have the time.¡±


    He could not answer that he only strangely stopped in his steps because he saw the peaches and thought of him.


    ¡°Okay then.¡± Su Hui nodded, having a small bite of the remaining peach. Then he extended his hand to Ning Yixiao again. ¡°Do you want to try it? It¡¯s very sweet.¡±


    ¡°You can have it.¡± Ning Yixiao said no, but Su Hui¡¯s hand remained outstretched, so he could only grasp it to push it back.


    The refrigerator door was unclosed this entire time, so it emitted warning beeps. As the two pushed and pushed, they suddenly heard a voice coming from outside the kitchen.


    ¡°Oh? You¡¯re our new roommate, right?¡±


    The boy¡¯s skin was very tanned. He was slightly shorter than Ning Yixiao, and so, he needed to raise his head to look at his face.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Ning Yixiao let go of Su Hui¡¯s hand, clearing his throat. ¡°Hello.¡±


    When the boy saw him, he grinned a little sheepishly, scratching his head. Then he turned to look at Su Hui. In the instant that his gaze met his face, he was plainly surprised and stared at him for a long time until Ning Yixiao coughed.


    ¡°Oh, sorry. I¡¯m Wang Cong. I heard from the landlord before that there¡¯s only a guy roommate. I didn¡¯t expect two.¡± As Wang Cong spoke, he didn¡¯t notice Ning Yixiao wanting to explain and just carried on, ¡°I didn¡¯t expect my roommates to be hot guys. You both look like celebrities. I wanted to get a cup of milk for my girlfriend. So¡­¡±


    Ning Yixiao immediately made space for him tactfully. He stood next to Su Hui, looking down at the remaining peach in his hand, still unfinished. So, he whispered, ¡°You eat so slow.¡±


    Su Hui looked up at him and said quietly too, ¡°No. It¡¯s because it¡¯s too big.¡±


    Wang Cong had taken a pack of milk from the refrigerator and had been pouring it as he looked at the two of them. He didn¡¯t pay attention, so the milk nearly spilled from the cup.


    ¡°Oh, your milk.¡± Su Hui noticed and immediately warned him.


    ¡°Oh, oh, oh! God, it¡¯s spilled. Thank god, thank god though, it¡¯s just a bit.¡± Wang Cong sheepishly grinned at him and picked up the milk. ¡°Then, uh, I shan¡¯t disturb you guys anymore, yeah? You guys¡­ You guys continue, continue. Good night, yeah.¡±


    He swiftly and carefully left with the milk, leaving the two of them.


    When they heard the sound of the bedroom door closing, Su Hui suddenly laughed.


    Ning Yixiao looked at him. Even though it was a situation that caused awkwardness, he had laughed. So, the corners of his own lips upturned too. But he pursed his lips then, suppressing it, before he asked Su Hui, ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you¡¯re curious? The party involved was just right in front of you earlier. Why didn¡¯t you ask?¡±


    Su Hui knew what he was talking about and took a nibble from the peach in his hand.


    ¡°I suddenly didn¡¯t feel like asking anymore.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    Su Hui looked right into Ning Yixiao¡¯s face, tone soft and wispy.


    ¡°I feel that I¡¯ll know the answer in the future. So, I don¡¯t have to ask him.¡±


    ¡ª


    Translator Note:


    [1] This metaphor is intentional as Su Hui¡¯s name is ËÕä§ and the character for Hui here means the whirl of water or eddying.


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: Su Hui is so much /////

 CH 14

    Chapter 14: P. Secret Hideout


    Many people like you.


    Hearing that, Ning Yixiao was slightly stunned.


    In the future.


    Even though he could understand it, and knew that this was Su Hui¡¯s answer to his overstepping question, Ning Yixiao did not dare to probe deeper.


    He knew that was not all.


    In the damp, dark rented flat, with the dim yellow light from the refrigerator, there was the silence after an ambiguous tension and Su Hui¡¯s forthright gaze.


    Everything was pointing towards a certain unspoken implication.


    There will always be a loser to this spin-the-bottle game.


    ¡°Sorry.¡± Ning Yixiao could only cover it up with an apology. ¡°I misunderstood you.¡±


    To be honest, he did not believe those rumors.


    But at that time, he subconsciously wanted to probe him, wanted to hear Su Hui explain it himself.


    ¡°What?¡± Su Hui laughed, feigning ignorance. ¡°I finished it.¡±


    He turned, back towards Ning Yixiao, as he washed his hands. ¡°Let¡¯s go back to sleep.¡±


    Ning Yixiao paused for a moment and nodded. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    This time, no noises came from the next room. Su Hui lay on the bed, but like an auditory hallucination, the sweetened, intimate words uttered between that pair of lovers next door appeared in his mind.


    And that man¡¯s voice, in the foggy rainy night, slowly changed into Ning Yixiao¡¯s deep voice.


    He said, Do you like me? You like me a lot, don¡¯t you?


    Are you happy?


    This made Su Hui, who was nearly falling asleep, awake with a start. Then he could never fall back asleep again.


    There was a fatal flaw in a windowless room. With no sunlight filtering through windows, it was difficult to wake up naturally.


    Ning Yixiao was exhausted. In the past, he could always wake up by himself at six-thirty in the morning. But on the first day that he moved in, he overslept.


    He had a lengthy dream that was broken into pieces. Most of his dreams were his appalling childhood experiences, but interjected with some beautifully bloomed flowers and sunlight that hurt like a soft knife, coming in patch after patch. And then finally, it was Su Hui¡¯s back.


    The sunlight between them seemed so ample that a complete sun seemed to be what was separating them.


    In the instant that he woke up with a start, Ning Yixiao¡¯s heart was speeding. The room was in complete darkness. But he instantly noticed that the bed was empty, without a person in sight. So, he turned on his phone. It was close to noon ¡ª at nearly eleven o¡¯clock.


    There were some sounds from outside. Ning Yixiao stopped spacing out, standing up to push the door and walk out. Outside, the lights were turned on, so when the lights abruptly hit him, he squinted his eyes, not yet used to it.


    ¡°You¡¯re awake?¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s voice came from the kitchen, drowned out by the clanking noises.


    Ning Yixiao walked over and the first thing he saw was a completely cluttered kitchen counter as well as Su Hui¡¯s abashed face. He was a little stunned.


    ¡°You¡¯re cooking?¡± Ning Yixiao stared at his burnt fried egg and questioned belatedly.


    ¡°Ah¡­ I guess.¡± Su Hui was a little embarrassed, picking up two ceramic plates on the table. ¡°I made some food. You slept for so long, so you must be very hungry.¡±


    He realized that there was no dining table outside, so he could only bring it into Ning Yixiao¡¯s room like this.


    The ¡°food¡± that he mentioned was, in truth, just a burnt fried egg, two slices of bread and a carton of milk.


    ¡°Where did these come from?¡± Ning Yixiao did not purchase the food.


    ¡°I bought them from Wang Cong. At first, I thought of going down to the supermarket, but I checked online and found that the nearest supermarket was a bit far¡­¡±


    Ning Yixiao listened, realizing that he truly didn¡¯t have much life experience and didn¡¯t know that the small provision stores in such areas already have eggs. Supermarkets were not necessarily needed.


    As Su Hui spoke, he handed him disposable cutlery. ¡°Wang Cong is really quite a good person. He said he didn¡¯t want my money and told me to use any food in the fridge. And even gave me two pairs of disposable chopsticks. Apparently they were from the food delivery that he didn¡¯t use. But I still gave him my pocket money.¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s eyebrows were knitted together. He had to search through his brain for a while before he recalled that Wang Cong was his roommate next door. But Su Hui had uttered his name again and again, as though he had left a deep impression on him.


    Perhaps because he lacked too much confidence in his cooking, Su Hui misunderstood his frown. ¡°Did I cook it too awfully? How about you eat this toast and drink some milk instead? Stop eating the egg.¡±


    But Ning Yixiao rebelliously picked up the egg with his chopsticks, finishing it in two to three bites.


    ¡°It¡¯s still fine. I like burnt ones.¡±


    His voice wasn¡¯t loud when he said this, but Su Hui still heard it and giggled. When he drank the milk, he looked just like a little kid.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you have a fried egg?¡± Ning Yixiao looked at Su Hui.


    ¡°I don¡¯t like fried eggs.¡± Su Hui said, ¡°I only like steamed eggs. I don¡¯t like fried or boiled ones.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t drink milk too?¡± [1] Ning Yixiao asked.


    ¡°Milk¡­¡± Su Hui held his face. ¡°I¡¯m taking medications, and the doctor advised me to not drink too much.¡±


    ¡°Then what do you eat for breakfast?¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­ There are many options.¡± Su Hui pondered. ¡°I like yellow croaker noodles, spinach noodles, pan-fried pork buns and small wantons.¡±


    ¡°Little young master.¡± Ning Yixiao teased quietly.


    Su Hui immediately denied. ¡°No, I¡¯m so not.¡±


    Ning Yixiao mimicked his tone and copied him very childishly,  ¡°No, I¡¯m so not.¡±


    He ate very quickly. Unlike Su Hui¡¯s unrushed mannerisms, he finished in just a few bites, taking the chopsticks and getting up to clean up the kitchen that seemed to have undergone a world war.


    As he washed the dishes, Su Hui made a few attempts to step in, but was stopped by Ning Yixiao quietly.


    When he was nearly done, Ning Yixiao asked, ¡°You probably have a nanny at home, right?¡±


    Su Hui felt that his word choice was not accurate. ¡°We have an auntie who cooks for us, because my mother isn¡¯t good at these.¡±


    Ning Yixiao smiled then. ¡°That¡¯s very convenient. You don¡¯t quite look like you¡¯re good at it too.¡±


    When he looked back, he saw the little young master¡¯s branded shirt creased from his sleep, and suddenly thought of a maid helping him iron the clothes when he was at home.


    ¡°What about you?¡± Su Hui didn¡¯t mind being criticized as being bad at cooking. ¡°Do you know how to cook?¡±


    Ning Yixiao made a noise in acknowledgement.


    This was an essential survival skill for him.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright. In any case, it¡¯s edible.¡± He didn¡¯t continue this topic and turned to ask Su Hui, ¡°Did you sleep well?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s still okay.¡± Su Hui lied very naturally. ¡°I thought I would lose sleep, but ended up falling asleep quickly. Much faster than at home.¡±


    He was even a little young master who liked to experience hardships.


    Ning Yixiao maintained the smile on his face and didn¡¯t continue. He dried his hands and said he¡¯d send him home.


    Su Hui immediately rejected it. ¡°I¡¯m not going back.¡±


    Ning Yixiao had already expected this response, but still persisted in persuading him. ¡°You already didn¡¯t go home last night. Your family would worry about your safety.¡±


    It was not like Su Hui didn¡¯t know that. It was not his first time not going home. When his illness acted up, he didn¡¯t even know what he did, where he went. But when he was sober, he would discover himself standing in a completely foreign place, with regret and hatred instantaneously pouring into his mind like lakewater. When he went home, their first question would always be the same.


    ¡°Compared to worry, they¡¯re more scared of losing their face because of me,¡± Su Hui said.


    Your illness acted up, right? Did you do anything shameful? Did anyone film it? Where did you go? Did the cameras catch you? These were all questions he would receive upon reaching home.


    ¡°They¡¯re just concerned about you. Your family all love you,¡± Ning Yixiao said quietly.


    Su Hui only remained silent. He didn¡¯t even shake his head.


    Faced with his silence, Ning Yixiao only felt downhearted. He looked at him, ¡°Many people like you.¡±


    Su Hui laughed then.


    He had an appearance that looked naive and easily deceived, but was actually very well-aware. ¡°Although saying this is a bit arrogant, most of them only like my face.¡±


    Under the dim light, Su Hui¡¯s face was certainly beautiful. Languid and innocent, accepting and quiet. There was no need to further explain it. Yet, it also held a melancholy that made one¡¯s imagination run wild.


    He looked like he should date those young girls in higher society, to attend the glamorous debutante balls in suits, with countless girl companions awaiting his invitation. Not sitting in a rented flat where he could not even stretch out his legs, using cheap disposable utensils to be thrown after one use, and tell him with a smile that no one liked him.


    ¡°Let¡¯s walk around outside.¡±


    Hearing Ning Yixiao¡¯s words, Su Hui nodded with a smile and said he wanted to treat him to something else. The fried egg tasted way too terrible.


    Ning Yixiao knew that he did not carry too much cash on him. So, when he saw beef noodles and soy egg sold at a small fast food roadside shop, he said they could just have noodles.


    He only asked for a bowl of plain noodles before searching for seats. The table was sticky from a layer of oil accumulated over the years. He took a tissue and wet it with tea before wiping Su Hui¡¯s seat again and again, thinking that his white top was expensive and that it¡¯d be hard to wash if it was dirtied.


    Su Hui was back. He looked to be in a pretty good mood. He had mimicked him and ordered a bowl of plain noodles too and added a serving of spinach to share with Ning Yixiao. Ning Yixiao verbally agreed, but did not eat much.


    He already figured out how to deal with Su Hui. As long as he agreed first, he would not force him no matter what he did later on. It made things much easier.


    Su Hui was picky. He did not touch a simple peanut on the spinach plate and picked away the garlic and coriander, only eating the leaves. He was much more talkative than he was in Ning Yixiao¡¯s bedroom, rattling on non-stop. His talking pace had turned faster than before too, repetitively repeating one of the questions, asking Ning Yixiao if he wanted to go to a place with him.


    But he did not mention the specific location. Ning Yixiao could not understand and silently assumed he was asking him to bring him back home. And since he had planned to do that in the first place, he agreed.


    A bowl of noodles later, Su Hui¡¯s snow-white forehead was layered with sweat, and his cheeks and lips red. After they left the shop, they bumped into a young boy who was giving out pamphlets for a spectacle shop. The boy handed them a small fan printed with advertisements, and Su Hui immediately accepted it in elation, shaking his wrist to fan himself.


    When Ning Yixiao asked him how to get there, Su Hui unhesitatingly said to take the bus. But he did not seem to be familiar with this mode of transportation, searching for the way there using the map of his phone. They waited for the bus and got on it with much difficulty.


    They changed three buses on this journey and only the last bus had two free seats, though they were very far apart. After Ning Yixiao sat down, he subconsciously looked towards Su Hui to find him craning his neck to look around for him too.


    In the instant that his gaze caught sight of him in the gaps between the crowd, Su Hui happily shook the fan in his hand.


    Just like this, Ning Yixiao was taken to a very secluded place.


    This place did not look like an area saturated with rich residences, nor any military compound hidden in the city. It looked much more like a long-unused factory.


    Su Hui led him on a rock-lined path. Different from before, he looked very happy and even reached out, as if to pull on Ning Yixiao¡¯s wrist. But he dropped his hand again. Then they reached a factory whose walls were painted red.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me this is your home.¡± Ning Yixiao¡¯s hands remained by his side, his entire demeanor examining him.


    ¡°It pretty much is.¡± Su Hui opened the door lock and then turned around with a smile.


    ¡°This is a place that¡¯s most like my home. My secret hideout.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Everyone might have seen it already. The title of this novel has been changed [2]. It¡¯s a request by the site. I thought about it and picked a more-important scene in the novel as the new title. It¡¯ll show up later on~ Actually, the previous title overlapped with too many other novels, and plus there is a real need to change it and it¡¯s not possible for me to not change it. I really had no choice. I hope everyone will like the new name~


    Thank you, everyone. It¡¯s because everyone is accompanying me during the novel serialization that I can press on~


    Translator Notes:


    [1] Given that Su Hui was described to be drinking milk just sentences before, this is likely a bug or a mistake that Zhichu forgot to correct.


    [2] As mentioned in one of our posts, Manhattanhenge is not the original name for this novel.

 CH 15

    Chapter 15: P. A Place To Take Him In


    Welcome.


    Su Hui pushed hard against the door to open it.


    The sight inside stunned Ning Yixiao on the spot. It was like he, who had never believed in fairy tales, had suddenly fallen into Alice¡¯s wonderland from the muddy swamp of reality ¡ª into a beautiful dream.


    The factory that looked so ordinary from the outside was filled with numerous beautiful unmatched art pieces ¡ª the first phrase Ning Yixiao could think of was this, even if he had never truly experienced art.


    After these twenty-over years of poverty, hardship that left him hard to breathe, he had practically lost his ability to appreciate beauty.


    But here, there was an overwhelming number of art pieces. Just like Su Hui who first intruded into his vision, slammed into his life.


    ¡°Did you make all these?¡±


    Weaving through a gigantic sea wave, thin but overlapping, he looked at Su Hui.


    Su Hui nodded, whispering, ¡°I just made them casually.¡±


    He became a little bashful then, hands behind his back as he walked to the ¡°sea wave¡±. He squatted down and pressed a button. Wind suddenly started up. The fan that had been arranged in place activated the ¡°sea wave¡±, smoothly creating the effect of layers of tides pushing forward.


    ¡°The one at the entrance is the sea that I made. I really like the sea. But so far, I haven¡¯t seen it in person before.¡± Su Hui shrugged his shoulders with a smile. ¡°They don¡¯t allow me to go out and they don¡¯t like to take me far too.¡±


    ¡°So, you made one yourself.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked up at the blue textured tulle, the fixated folds. Every upraised peak was sewn together with gold powder, just like a real glistening sea wave that came up and down freely in the wind.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Su Hui laughed, looking at this piece with him. ¡°But it might not look too alike. I made it while referencing a photo and made a few attempts. I also found many kinds of materials. But it might still not be too accurate.¡±


    Ning Yixiao remembered the sea ¡ª the terrifying sea ¡ª that he had grown sick of seeing when he was younger. Only during the afternoons in summers, when the sun rays splashed on them, would it look this beautiful. Just like how Su Hui made it look.


    What he created was the most beautiful sea. So beautiful that it could make him put up with every regret.


    ¡°It looks alike.¡± He said with a smile. ¡°It¡¯s very pretty.¡±


    These words seemed to have lit up a dark corner in Su Hui¡¯s heart, making him feel warm and safe.


    This was his first time bringing someone else other than his grandmother to his secret hideout. He was very nervous and afraid that Ning Yixiao would find it incomprehensible.


    Su Hui felt like he was just an immature child, anxious to shove his diary to someone the moment he was fond of them, hoping the diary would be read and understood, that he would be completely dissected.


    Ning Yixiao examined every piece seriously and even maintained a very polite distance to appreciate them. It made Su Hui increasingly elated. He was a little excited, his speech rate becoming much faster too.


    ¡°This is a planet. It¡¯s made with glass.¡± Su Hui explained to him, gesturing cutely. ¡°There was a time where I just picked up abandoned glass products. Many were shattered pieces. When I came back, I shattered them into even smaller ones and painted them yellow before piecing them together into an empty ball. The inside is a light bulb and outside the planet is a ring-shaped LED light. Look.¡±


    As he spoke, Su Hui pressed a switch. The light inside and outside lit up in unison. The planet formed from broken shards of glass were peerlessly brilliant, as if they were real shining starlight.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t it look a lot like Saturn?¡± He looked at Ning Yixiao.


    Ning Yixiao gazed at this planet piece, stilling before he turned to look at Su Hui, eyes finally resting on his hands.


    ¡°When you made this, did you injure yourself?¡±


    Su Hui was taken aback. He had never thought Ning Yixiao would react like this. This gave him a sense of foreignness, the nervousness made him hold his hands together.


    No one had asked him such a question before.


    Ning Yixiao stared at his fingers and knew the answer. He turned to attentively appreciate the art piece and gave his feedback. ¡°It¡¯s very pretty. It¡¯s the prettiest planet sculpture piece I¡¯ve seen.¡±


    ¡°But next time, protect your hands.¡± He added.


    ¡°Oh.¡± Su Hui revealed a small smile with his pursed lips. He pulled on Ning Yixiao to continue forward and corrected him too. ¡°This isn¡¯t a sculpture. It¡¯s an installation art. All the ones I made are. But I¡¯ve never been professionally trained.¡±


    ¡°You can try.¡± Ning Yixiao had blurted out. But he suddenly remembered what Su Hui said ¡ª that he could not choose the major he wanted to learn ¡ª and could not help but feel sympathetic.


    He could not understand. For someone like Su Hui, who had such a superior family background, why did he lack so much freedom?


    His own lack of freedom originated from lacking material possessions, originated from having insufficient luck in his fate. These were things that he had no way of changing. They had been decided from the very moment he was born.


    But Su Hui was different. And he should not be like this.


    Su Hui did not know what he was thinking and was still imagining a possible wonderful future. ¡°Actually, I secretly looked at many schools that were really amazing in this field.


    ¡°I hope my illness will stabilize soon, then I can convince them to let me study it. I really want to leave this place and do what I want to do.¡±


    Ning Yixiao wanted to say he would. But he felt that that seemed far too easily said, like he was intentionally sucking up to him, when, in truth, he was well aware that this was not easy. But he did not want to tear down the wings of hope in Su Hui¡¯s heart.


    After a moment of silence, he changed the topic. ¡°How did you find this place? Your family hasn¡¯t come here before?¡±


    Su Hui giggled and shook his head very obediently. ¡°This is a present from my grandmother during my sixteenth birthday. A place that others cannot find.¡±


    He shook the key in his hand. ¡°Other than her, no one has come here before.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no.¡± Realizing that he misspoke, Su Hui immediately corrected himself. ¡°Today, my secret hideout welcomed a new guest.¡±


    He stood there, a gentlemanly smile on his face as he extended his arms like a little prince in fairy tales. ¡°Welcome.¡±


    It was very difficult for Ning Yixiao to describe his emotions at this moment. It was like every good thing in the world was happening within the same second ¡ª so good that it did not feel real.


    Other than a humongous sea wave and a planet, it was placed with many little installations too. Su Hui introduced each of them, from ¡°a melted sunflower¡± to ¡°colorful balloon storm¡±. Everything was delicate and cute, and brimmed with creativity.


    His speech was very quick, holding a liveliness and zeal that was a little different from usual. Just like a small rabbit who led the way in fairy tales, every action exuded innocence.


    Suddenly, Su Hui seemed to have seen something, pulling on Ning Yixiao¡¯s wrist with excitement as he pointed at a small installation art at the corner, half-running over.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, this is my shelter.¡±


    Su Hui would always call him very solemnly and very sincerely, while heaving, while smiling. It made Ning Yixiao detest this name a little less at this moment.


    But he could not look straight at Su Hui¡¯s smile, so he could only look at his creation, doing his best to  wholeheartedly be an exhibition-goer.


    The shelter Su Hui mentioned looked much more like a gigantic cocoon created from balls of waste paper glued together. Thick snow-white strings covered from the outside. It looked expensive, but it was very cheap in its core.


    All of the waste paper had been turned blue, the paint glowing with faint fluorescence.


    Su Hui said that he designed it for himself. Whenever he was not happy, he would try to hole himself in, just as if his life had returned to that starting point. He turned back into that tiny fetus, and was very safe.


    As he spoke, he parted the strings and actually went in, curled inside, looking out with his head half-lowered. His gaze was very soft, very pitiful.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, do you want to come in to try?¡± He stretched out a hand.


    For some reason, Ning Yixiao¡¯s first reaction was to reject it. ¡°The space inside doesn¡¯t seem big.¡±


    He felt like it shouldn¡¯t be him.


    But Su Hui said very firmly, ¡°I want you to come in.¡±


    He struggled internally for a moment, but finally conceded to Su Hui¡¯s eyes that looked just like a small animal. Ning Yixiao squeezed into his shelter ¡ª into that warm and safe cocoon of his.


    There was certainly not a lot of space. Ning Yixiao had to curl up just as he had expected and squeezed himself beside Su Hui.


    They were extremely close. Each part of the curves at the edges of their bodies seemed to be completely pressed against each other, with non-existent distance.


    He occupied a part of Su Hui¡¯s safety.


    Blue waste-paper cocoon shone a faint glow on Su Hui¡¯s pale face. Fluorescent blue. As if they were situated in the smallest, smallest aquarium. There are no sharks here. No whales. Only the two of them.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you feel a huge sense of safety? The feeling of being wrapped up.¡±


    Su Hui looked above the cocoon, arm pressed against Ning Yixiao¡¯s arm as he stared quietly. ¡°The moment I¡¯m sad or upset, I¡¯ll hide here, pretending to be an insect egg who hasn¡¯t seen the world yet. Being an adult that won¡¯t make mistakes at any time is really so hard.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked at him, falling into a daze for a moment.


    He had enjoyed a free exhibition but felt its worth was greater than everything. It was so great that he grew increasingly aware that this did not belong to him. And he couldn¡¯t bear the cost either.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Ning Yixiao could not help but admit it. ¡°It¡¯s so difficult.¡±


    Su Hui turned with a smile, childish naivety on his face.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, thank you for taking me in.¡±


    Their gazes touched. His heart skipped a beat.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know how to describe the feeling I get when you keep me company. It¡¯s like there¡¯s no way for me to explain it clearly. So, I want to bring you into this cocoon and let you feel it.¡±


    Within the cramped shelter, fluorescent blue glow shrouded them. Su Hui looked at him, gaze gentle. When he spoke, the pink tongue pin in his mouth faintly appeared and disappeared, just like a certain rosily colored beautiful omen.


    ¡°Just like this. It¡¯s very safe.¡±

 CH 16

    Chapter 16: P. A Special Present


    You have to take good care of it, okay?


    After the visit to the secret hideout, the two split up, returning to the places wherein they should both belong. Just like a dream that abruptly ended, there was no clear full stop.


    But Ning Yixiao received a present that had an unordinary meaning. It was a palm-sized toy, an art piece that was the smallest, most inconspicuous one in the factory. But in the moment that they were leaving, it caught Ning Yixiao¡¯s eye.


    Su Hui told him that this was a kitten plush he had when he was younger. Because the stitch at its chest had unraveled, the cotton filling inside was exposed, so it had been abandoned.


    But Su Hui picked it back home and recreated it again.


    The tattered little kitten was entwined with many metal wires. Black strings messily intertwined themselves on the metal wires, spreading outside endlessly. Among them, a red string was faintly visible, heading inside, connecting to the open chest of the toy. An extremely small disco ball was placed inside. Like it was suffering a fault, it flashed haltingly.


    The limbs of the plush were bound, chest cut open, but a smile still on its face. Its big eyes had inherited the innocent genuinity that Su Hui had when he was younger even until now.


    Ning Yixiao practically never verbally asked for what he wanted, no matter who it was.


    This deficiency preventing his honesty originated from many years ago, and also came from his overly high sense of pride. To make him express himself without holding back was harder than even resolving others¡¯ difficulties.


    But the moment he noticed this kitten toy, he felt a foreign desire.


    It was as if Su Hui could read his mind. Coincidences and tacit understanding were always coiled around them. It was very strange.


    ¡°Do you like this?¡± Su Hui picked it up. ¡°I¡¯ll give it to you, if you like it. I made this when I was really, really young. It¡¯s been here for a long time now.¡±


    Even if Su Hui didn¡¯t say so, Ning Yixiao knew that this was precious too. If that cocoon was the shelter that he absolutely could not lose the most, then this kitten was Su Hui himself.


    Su Hui smiled as he pushed it into his arms, his expression adorable.


    ¡°You have to take good care of it, okay?¡±


    Even until this very moment when Ning Yixiao lay on his desk, staring at the kitten plush, he still remembered the loneliness Su Hui exuded when he sat at the bus stop alone.


    Each time he saw Su Hui, his surroundings seemed enveloped in milky white morning fog, hazy and indistinct, as if he didn¡¯t belong here and might vanish without a trace in the next moment.


    Ning Yixiao poked the kitten¡¯s cheek with a finger, shifting downwards bit by bit until his finger tip touched that small light bulb heart.


    It was hot, as if it was truly alive. Living with not so much ease.


    He even had a very unattainable delusion, imagining that when this damaged kitten was abandoned, he was able to show up and bring it back home. He stitched the chest wound and then kept it well.


    But this thought only occurred for a brief moment, interrupted by a message notification.


    The first text came from Su Hui, because he had told him to tell him when he was nearly home.


    [Kitten: I¡¯m almost home. I¡¯m a little tired.]


    [Kitten: The car is so cold. The air-con¡¯s temperature is so low.]


    The corners of Ning Yixiao¡¯s lips upturned without him realizing. Just as he was about to reply, a new text suddenly popped up at the top of the screen.


    It was a text urging him for debt payment.


    Almost within a split moment, Ning Yixiao stopped replying to Su Hui, returning to reality.


    He stared at the text. Those threatening words was familiar. He was quiet for a moment, but he still looked down, calculating his recent earnings.


    This was the life that he belonged to.


    .


    Su Hui seemed to have truly given himself to Ning Yixiao.


    Even when he returned home, he was crestfallen. He took a cab, and whilst on it, he could not help but text Ning Yixiao, but received no response. When he got out of the car, he nearly forgot to pay and also completely forgot about the punishment he¡¯d evidently receive because he had departed the birthday feast at his own discretion.


    A punishment was natural. But he did not expect it to be this severe.


    When he returned home, it was afternoon. Su Hui did not expect that the person who opened the door was not Auntie Chen but a foreign middle-aged woman. She very enthusiastically smiled at him, saying ¡®Little Young Master, you¡¯re home.¡¯


    Su Hui was a little bewildered and immediately asked where Auntie Chen was. But the lady only stammered and mumbled, asking him if he wanted tea.


    Something didn¡¯t really feel right. Su Hui walked straight in and bumped into his grandfather, spotting him upon the raise of his head. He was sitting on the living room couch with a frown, hands on top of each other as he held the dragon head carved on the top of the rosewood walking stick. Seeing him come in, his frown deepened sternly.


    Su Hui could tell he was incredibly angry and did not make excuses for himself. He walked there and apologized to Ji Tail¨¹.


    Ji Tail¨¹ almost wanted to let out a cold laugh. ¡°No need for that. You¡¯ve toughened up now. No one at this house can rein you in. You make light of even me.¡±


    Su Hui felt a little helpless. Many words were trapped in his throat. He could only say sorry.


    ¡°Sorry?¡± Ji Tail¨¹ suppressed his fury. ¡°What kind of event did you believe yesterday¡¯s birthday feast was? What sort of people attended it? Su Hui, you left in front of everyone¡¯s faces. Where do you want me to put my face? Hmm?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Su Hui attempted to explain. ¡°Yesterday, I overdosed on my meds and had a really severe reaction. If I stayed there, I¡¯d only lose everyone¡¯s face, so I could only¡­¡±


    ¡°All right. Then did you go to the hospital?¡± Ji Tail¨¹ looked at him, eyes slightly narrowed. ¡°Yesterday, Xu Zhi said he contacted the mental health departments in nearly all the hospitals in Beijing and still could not find you. Where did you go? And what shameful things did you do again? Do you still remember? Is your brain sober right now!¡±


    Su Hui opened his mouth, but before he could speak, he was stopped by Ji Tail¨¹¡¯s roar. Each sentence of criticism was thrown on him like sharp knives, cutting his face.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to say anything more. I don¡¯t want to hear a single word.¡± Li Tail¨¹ spoke in rage, ¡°From today on, you are not to go anywhere. Stay at home and reflect on yourself while facing the wall. I¡¯ll sort out the study deferral procedure for you. Just get yourself treated for me, until your brain is normal!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want my studies to be deferred!¡± Su Hui¡¯s eye rims were red now. ¡°I¡¯m not abnormal¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not abnormal? Look at your current state now! It¡¯s because you¡¯ve been so spoiled, getting everything you wanted when you were born that your mind is no longer sober and you just go psychotic every day. We don¡¯t even get a day of peace!¡± Ji Tail¨¹ stood up, blowing a fuse. ¡°Even without my accomplishments in my whole life, I strive to my utmost as well. Why do I have a grandson like you? You¡¯re practically the biggest stain in my entire life!¡±


    He fiercely raised his stick, and Su Hui subconsciously evaded it. But in the end, the stick that was hanging above his head still swung ruthlessly to another spot, shattering a porcelain vase. It was a handmade gift from the seventeen-year-old Su Hui.


    And now it was but shattered pieces.


    ¡°It¡¯s all because of the crazy genes from that lowly Su family, for a psycho like you to be born.¡±


    Ji Tail¨¹ left these cruel words and Su Hui there, at their original spot.


    Outside the full-length window, the sunrays were vibrant, the greens and plants in the garden flourishing, lilacs flagrant. He could even hear the sounds of birds flapping as they danced in the air.


    The new housekeeper approached him, inviting Su Hui back to his new isolation room. This room was not as good as the previous one. There wasn¡¯t even a cushion for kneeling. Only a suffocating smell of incense that covered up the rotten moist stench.


    Before the door was closed, Su Hui only asked the new housekeeper a question, ¡°Auntie, where¡¯s Auntie Chen?¡±


    She seemed taken aback, slightly distressed. ¡°Little Young Master¡­ I¡¯m a housekeeper who just came. I¡¯m not too sure about what happened before¡­¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s lips were drawn into a taut line. He did not speak and just entered the isolation room by himself.


    Without windows, this place only had a dim ceiling light as well as a camera that had eyes akin to a venomous snake. Su Hui knelt on the floor in accordance with the demands, back straight.


    His mind constantly replayed the final sentence that his grandfather said. Su Hui wanted to know badly if he mentally spurned on him every day he saw him.


    Everyone in this house followed him with servitude, but were they the same as him too? Treating him as an unremovable stain?


    He still remembered how his father looked. Warm, patient and would buy many drawing books for him, encouraging him to do what he wanted. His father still had a younger brother ¡ª which was his uncle ¡ª who was a small-name curator. So when he was very young, Su Hui was able to go along and visit some exhibitions.


    In front of the art piece that Su Hui could not make sense of, they began an overly naive discussion and then began to chuckle quietly while stifling their laughter. His uncle would purposely mimic him, using exaggerated expressions and childish tones, ¡°Wah, it¡¯s so pretty.¡±


    But afterwards, that uncle became ill. They said it was schizophrenia.


    At that time, Su Hui didn¡¯t understand how one¡¯s mind could become fragmented [1]. It¡¯s not like it was biscuits or ceramics. Then he received a call from his uncle who said that there was a giant snake in his stomach. It would speak to him and he wasn¡¯t able to sleep at night, always hearing the slither of the snake.


    But at that time, Su Hui was only six years old. He didn¡¯t understand it, only finding it curious and like he was listening to a fictional story.


    Later on, his uncle was sent to the hospital, while Ji Tail¨¹ forcefully brought Su Hui away, warning him very cruelly that he was never to be permitted to meet the uncle again.


    Everyone in the Ji family was demeaning and uglifying his uncle¡¯s illnesses to no end, painting him as a vile venomous snake, banning Su Hui from taking a single step closer.


    Change was the only constant in the world. Since that summer day Su Hui¡¯s illness was confirmed, he too became an unerasable shadow of a snake in the Ji family¡¯s heart.


    If possible, he really wanted to become that snake in his uncle¡¯s stomach. At the very least, it was safe and warm.


    While kneeling on the floor, Su Hui only found this familiar.


    It had been like this since he was young. He was not permitted to even do a single wrong and was often locked in. But back then, he would still have a soft kneeling cushion and a small bed. He was only not allowed to play in the garden, not allowed to read or draw in the brightly lit study. But now, he didn¡¯t have a single thing and was only requested to recite Buddhist chants to meditate.


    Su Hui didn¡¯t want to recite any Buddhist chants at all. His damaged brain could not receive any religious baptism. Su Hui only kneeled on the floor with straightened back, eyes shut, thinking of Ning Yixiao who was willing to hide in the cocoon together with him.


    He was grateful that he gave the plush to him. Like this, it seemed like only his shell was receiving the punishment here. While his true self still remained in that rented flat filled with a sense of safety, having never departed.


    .


    Su Hui vanished for an entire week. Even until the last day before summer vacation, he did not appear again.


    Ning Yixiao felt uneasy and sent numerous texts ¡ª and called too ¡ª but he could not reach him. In the end, he could only indirectly ask Professor Wang. But the answer he received was that he had become sick and was recuperating at home.


    But such an excuse to brush outsiders aside could not dispel Ning Yixiao¡¯s suspicion. He attempted to ask the finance major students he knew through the club, but still to no avail.


    That student even laughed. ¡°Su Hui? He¡¯s like this all the time, not coming to class out of nowhere like he deferred his studies. If it¡¯s short, he¡¯d be back in a week. If it¡¯s a longer one, it¡¯s a few months. It¡¯s pretty normal. He might show up again tomorrow. You need something from him?¡±


    Only then did he realize that Su Hui¡¯s connection to this school was that feeble ¡ª he didn¡¯t even have a friend who could explain his disappearance. Not even one.


    ¡°Nothing too important.¡± Ning Yixiao smiled. ¡°He¡­ borrowed a book with my card before. It¡¯s near the deadline for book return.¡±


    The student laughed even harder. ¡°Then that¡¯s tragic for you. He might not come back.¡±


    Ning Yixiao felt discomfort and disappointment, as though the one who had fallen ill was himself.


    The night that he spent with Su Hui seemed to have never existed before ¡ª because he vanished so easily, without a trace behind. Other than that kitten plush, there was no evidence of it.


    From the vacation until now, he was called by his major¡¯s professor to help with the maintenance of the service program. Ning Yixiao was willing to do all these things so long as he could leave behind a good impression on the teachers. So, since his first year, he had been the most suitable ¡°helper¡± in his teachers¡¯ minds. He was a decent helping hand.


    He had just typed away a few lines of code when the office door was knocked.


    There was no one else in the room. Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t look up either, continuing to type away. ¡°The door isn¡¯t locked. Please come in.¡±


    The door opened in response. He heard a slightly familiar voice calling him xuezhang [2].


    Ning Yixiao looked up. The person who came was Xia Zhixu, whom Li Cong mentioned many people wooed the moment he first reported to university. He was a junior in the same major as him and also a brilliant student in the teachers¡¯ words.


    Due to the teachers¡¯ favoritism, Ning Yixiao was a teaching assistant for the first years and coincidentally took his class. Xia Zhixu¡¯s homework was always splendidly done, and he had strong skills in programming. The code he wrote was succinct and elegant. Even his annotation couldn¡¯t be faulted. Except he was someone of few words. The only few conversations they had were about the class reports.


    The expression on Ning Yixiao¡¯s face relaxed slightly. He smiled. ¡°Are you sent by a professor to do work?¡±


    Xia Zhixu nodded. ¡°Yeah. Yang-laoshi told me to come help record down the grades.¡±


    As he was requested, he sat on the seat next to Ning Yixiao, shaking the mouse to unlock the screen. He had just recorded two people¡¯s information when he suddenly remembered something, turning to tell Ning Yixiao, ¡°Right, xuezhang, earlier when I was waiting for Yang-laoshi, I heard his conversation with another teacher about going on an exchange program to America. The candidates in the list seem to include your name. I also heard there¡¯s a seminar that¡¯s happening very soon. They¡¯ll get the candidates for the exchange to go.¡±


    Ning Yixiao paused, smiling seemingly without much concern. ¡°Is that so? Your information channels are better than mine. I didn¡¯t hear about this at all.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Xia Zhixu laughed then. ¡°Then I¡¯m probably the first one to get this information. It¡¯s by coincidence too. Maybe they forgot I was around when they talked.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked at him, realizing that this was the first time he saw Xia Zhixu laugh. When he laughed, he actually showed a pair of canine teeth. ¡°Zhixu, you¡¯re in quite a good mood today.¡±


    Xia Zhixu was taken aback and then grinned a little sheepishly. ¡°Am I?¡±


    ¡°You usually seem like you have a lot on your mind. Don¡¯t give yourself too much pressure. Just let things happen as they do.¡± Ning Yixiao put on an attitude of a senior. After he reassured him, he joked, ¡°If probing into military intelligence can make you happier, I don¡¯t mind you getting more information for me. If there¡¯s good news, this xuezhang here will treat you to a meal.¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s high EQ and good relations with people were well known. Xia Zhixu knew this long back. ¡°Then thank you, xuezhang. Maybe the name list will be out by the summer break and I¡¯ll be able to get this meal next month.¡±


    ¡°Next month? You¡¯re not going home?¡± Ning Yixiao stared at the screen, not on him. ¡°I remember your hometown is in Jiangcheng.¡±


    Xia Zhixu¡¯s expression very obviously dimmed. He nodded. ¡°Yeah. I don¡¯t want to go back. If I remain on campus, I can still work on some projects and learn some things as practice.¡±


    Ning Yixiao smiled. ¡°Wuhan [3] is a good place. I always wanted to visit it. I heard that the sunset on Yangtze River Bridge looks extremely beautiful.¡±


    Xia Zhixu lowered his eyes, tugging his lips. ¡°Maybe.¡±


    He averted his gaze, looking at the clear lake wallpaper on the screen. ¡°I went up there before, but wasn¡¯t able to focus on the scenery. I¡¯m almost forgetting how it looks now.¡±


    Seeing his expression, Ning Yixiao sensed something. So, he turned and grinned, ¡°It¡¯s fine. Your hometown is there. As long as you want to, you¡¯ll go back one day, and you¡¯ll definitely see it again.¡±


    Xia Zhixu looked up and said thank you.


    ¡°Xuezhang, where is your hometown?¡±


    In the eyes of boy and girl juniors alike, Ning Yixiao seemed like a perfect existence, with excellent grades, exceptional talent, academic achievements high and beyond others. What was rare was that his character was friendly and kind too, and he had never had a conflict with anyone. It was as if he was naturally flawless.


    But Xia Zhixu understood well how tiring it was to be a friendly, passionate person.So, he sometimes wondered if someone like Ning Yixiao would feel exhausted too.


    ¡°My hometown¡­¡± Ning Yixiao smiled. ¡°I grew up in a small fishing village. Even if I told you, you might not know it, so I¡¯ll just give a vague location. It¡¯s in a northern coastal province by.¡±


    Xia Zhixu knew not to overstep and did not ask further. ¡°Living by the sea must be really blissful, right? Especially when the sun is bright and pleasant¡­¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s smile gradually dimmed.


    ¡°The sea has its dark side too.¡±


    Hearing this, Xia Zhixu turned to him, seeing his usual smiling face turn cold. But that was only for one second, for Ning Yixiao smiled again immediately.


    ¡°The sea at night is just like an oil swamp, with strong winds and large waves. Looking at it is a little scary, but it¡¯s quite unique too. Next time, you can try to have a look at the seaside at night.¡±


    His tone was very natural as if the coldness in that previous moment was only a figment of his imagination.


    Xia Zhixu nodded. ¡°Sure.¡±


    Neither of them continued with another topic, simply whittling away on their respective work. Xia Zhixu¡¯s was easier, so it ended quickly. He said his goodbyes and then left first.


    The room was once again left with Ning Yixiao alone.


    He hit away on his keyboard, each alphabet or symbol akin to seagulls flying through the night skies, twinkling without end.


    Extremely inappropriately then, NIng Yixiao wished very much to return to his rented flat to do nothing at all, except stare at that kitten plush.


    Or maybe, to go back into that blue cocoon that he hid inside together with Su Hui.


    Translator Note:


    [1] The term for schizophrenia in Chinese is ¾«Éñ·ÖÁÑ (lit. mind fragmentation). So, as a child like Su Hui, upon hearing that understood it literally as the mind breaking up.


    [2] ѧ³¤: a term for a male senior, or a person in a higher rank or seniority to you, usually in school.


    [3] ½­³Ç: the term used here is pronounced Jiang Cheng, but this is an alternate name for Wuhan, so to prevent any potential confusion with other locations in China with this name too, we used Wuhan here.

 CH 17

    Chapter 17: P. Setting Sun Trumpet Vine


    My luck has always been sort of bad.


    The first week of summer break was ordinary and unnoteworthy. Professor Wang arranged for a few meetings and brought Ning Yixiao to all of them. Afterwards, he also called another computer major student that was in the same batch but different class from him, called Feng Cheng.


    Ning Yixiao found him slightly familiar to his eyes. But he momentarily could not remember who he looked like.


    The three-person group from before turned into a two-person group before reverting to a three-person group. It felt like it had changed but yet not really. Everyone silently accepted Su Hui¡¯s disappearance, and only Ning Yixiao felt as though a fish bone remained stuck in his throat.


    In the seventeen days that Su Hui vanished, Ning Yixiao attempted to call his phone, send him texts, but they seemed to have sunk into the sea.


    He had prior trauma regarding sudden disappearances, but he could not do anything about it. He could only subconsciously check he and Su Hui¡¯s relatively empty conversation history again and again, staring at the kitten plush¡¯s heart before sleep, and on a night where his painfully long part-time job ended, made an arduous long trek to that distant red factory just based solely on memory.


    He couldn¡¯t be found anywhere.


    Until the eighteenth day, when Ning Yixiao discovered a missed call from Su Hui after the fact.


    At that time, he was writing code in a lab where the air-conditioning was damaged. While at work, he often forgot about the time. Only when he remembered and checked his phone did he notice the call. But when he called back again, he couldn¡¯t get through.


    This seemed just like a joke. Ning Yixiao stared at the real and genuine two words, ¡°Su Hui¡±, written on his call list. A graduate student came in. He had interacted with her a few times before.


    ¡°Yixiao? You¡¯re here. I thought you went to get your meal.¡± The senior said, ¡°Someone is looking for you outside. I think they¡¯re from another faculty.¡±


    ¡°Looking for me?¡± Ning Yixiao stood up. ¡°Is it a guy?¡±


    The senior grinned. ¡°Yeah. I thought you were at your dorm so I pointed him to your dorm. But I wasn¡¯t expecting that you¡¯ll still be at work when it¡¯s mealtime.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, senior.¡± Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t say much, grabbing his phone and leaving.


    He was hesitant at first. He was not certain if he was the person he was thinking of, but gradually, his footsteps increasingly quickened and he finally ran through the tree-lined path to the dormitory, looking all around him. Fortunately, Ning Yixiao spotted a figure similar to Su Hui¡¯s in a rock garden behind the dormitory.


    Having slightly calmed his heartbeat down, he feigned composure as he approached Su Hui.


    When he came closer, Ning Yixiao could hear Su Hui quietly humming a light-hearted tune.


    He was crouching by emerald greens and trees, donned in a water-blue top and a white fisherman¡¯s hat. The color of the setting sun was spreading. His fingers were gently rubbing an ordinary leaf. Tiny small dust particles danced in the air, making Su Hui seem like he was glowing.


    There was the sound of the lighter. It opened and then closed, repeating itself like this. He stood up then, his cheeks shrouded in white smoke tendrils.


    Ning Yixiao stood behind Su Hui. He wanted to give him a scare, so he spoke up first. ¡°Long time no see.¡±


    Su Hui genuinely received a fright, his shoulders jumping as he suddenly looked back. His originally big dole eyes were widened even bigger. This sight reminded Ning Yixiao of a blue butterfly that he saw at the ground floor of his dormitory.


    ¡°You¡¯re smoking secretly again.¡± Ning Yixiao chuckled, walking to stand in front of him.


    Su Hui¡¯s index and middle finger clasped a slender cigarette that looked like it was just lit.


    He leaned on the rock. As like before, he would always lean on something, as though he would suddenly collapse once he lost his support.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t even taken a drag.¡± Su Hui looked up, tone kiddish.


    He hadn¡¯t expected Ning Yixiao to show up. After staring at him for a while, he felt very real, unlike an illusion.


    He wasn¡¯t used to it. He didn¡¯t know if it was because he was locked in for too long, and so he was not used to being shone on by sunlight ¡ª or if he was not used to Ning Yixiao just appearing in front of him like this, not requiring him to wait for a coincidence and being someone that he could find if he just searched.


    Su Hui blinked. But he had not expected Ning Yixiao to suddenly reach out and deftly snatch away the cigarette from his fingers.


    He thought Ning Yixiao wanted to trash it, so he subconsciously said, ¡°It¡¯ll be a waste like that.¡±


    But surprisingly, Ning Yixiao drew back his hand, putting the cigarette in his mouth to take a drag and exhaled the smoke. His actions were not unpracticed. It did not look like his first time smoking.


    It did not fit with Ning Yixiao¡¯s appearance of a good student.


    ¡°There¡¯s even a burst bead.¡± Ning Yixiao¡¯s lips tugged upwards amidst the smoke.


    Su Hui could practically imagine his teeth crushing down on the mint bead.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with burst beads?¡± He looked up.


    Ning Yixiao took down the cigarette and held it between his fingers. ¡°Only kids would smoke ones with burst beads.¡±


    ¡°Then what do you smoke?¡± Su Hui asked.


    Ning Yixiao looked into the distance as though he was remembering something. Then he glanced at the black cigarette box in Su Hui¡¯s hand. ¡°It¡¯s not as expensive as Marlboro, and it¡¯s just a few bucks per pack. It¡¯s white. I think it¡¯s called Jiao Zi, or Pride [1].¡±


    Su Hui laughed. ¡°The name is a little weird. It sounds like a brand that girls would smoke.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s certainly not mine either.¡± Ning Yixiao responded in a low voice. ¡°I stole it from my mother. She liked to hide it in her pillow, and I only took one each time. Since her memory is rather bad, she didn¡¯t find out.¡±


    Su Hui was very sharp. He sensed something from his lowered eyes.


    ¡°What flavor was it?¡±


    ¡°Orange peels. It¡¯s very faint and has a slight moldy taste. It might have been there for too long since my mother couldn¡¯t bear to smoke it.¡± Ning Yixiao managed a smile. ¡°Oh, right. Where did you go for this period of time? You didn¡¯t even come to the group meetings.¡±


    He changed the topic again. Just like a hedgehog.


    Su Hui debtly took the cigarette from his hand and took a smoke, exhaling a very irregular smoke ring under the sunlight.


    ¡°At home.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked up, seemingly asking, Was that really it?


    Su Hui nodded with a smile.


    Ning Yixiao didn¡¯t ask further. His phone vibrated a few times, so he looked down to check the messages.


    ¡°Have you eaten?¡± He replied to the texts as he asked rather casually.


    ¡°Mhm, I ate a little.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked up, raising his phone. ¡°The Book-and-Movie club members want to gather at the field later. Do you want to go too?¡±


    The sky was gradually darkening. Su Hui put out the cigarette and nodded with a grin. ¡°Okay.¡±


    Nightfall arrived. They came to the field, and a group was already standing at the center in a circle. Someone had placed a searchlight in the middle, light yellow and velvety, like a night bonfire celebration without the bonfire.


    Ning Yixiao had just walked over when someone noticed him. Everyone slowly stopped to say hi to him.


    Su Hui stared at Ning Yixiao¡¯s side profile. At a certain moment, he hid that air he exuded when he was alone with him. That was a feeling that Su Hui could not describe.


    Right now, he had changed into a smiling face with ample friendliness, very naturally interacting with this many people and their loud and soft shouts and voices.


    What was amazing about Ning Yixiao was his ability to switch between modes effortlessly.


    ¡°Oh, right. I brought Su Hui along too.¡±


    Ning Yixiao, who had already taken a seat, turned towards Su Hui, introducing him to others.


    But unexpectedly, a boy diagonally across raised his hand. The searchlight had lit his face up. ¡°It¡¯s my faculty¡¯s handsome boy! Su Hui, come here!¡±


    Su Hui glanced at him and then subconsciously looked at Ning Yixiao. But failing to read his current composed expression, he nodded then, walking towards that student in the same major as him with a smile.


    Just like this, they sat on opposing sides of the circle, thoughts hidden amidst the crowd¡¯s laughter.


    Su Hui did not know the boy next to him, but he said he was very famous in the faculty. He thought then that it wasn¡¯t too pleasant a reputation, so he just responded half-heartedly with a laugh.


    The good thing was that the boy was humorous. Just a couple of roasting of the teachers had made Su Hui break into laughter.


    Su Hui was a very good listener. He would hold his knees without realizing when listening to others, head tilted, eyes bright as he made a very serious and cute expression.


    These were all things seen by Ning Yixiao. Even if he too, was chatting pleasantly with others as well.


    A tall girl arrived late, hugging a large paper box in her arms, seeming with much effort.


    Su Hui saw Ning Yixiao stand up to help her and take the box. And then he heard a girl next to them squeal, ¡°This is great, we have cherries¡±. And then he saw the muscles on Ning Yixiao¡¯s lower arms surfacing from the exertion of strength.


    Su Hui averted his gaze, turning to stare at the searchlight instead. Under his direct gaze, numerous strange illusions appeared.


    That girl¡¯s mother had delivered her two large boxes of cherries, so she brought a box to share with everyone generously. The cherries were so fresh they seemed to be freshly picked from the trees. They even were attached with some branches and leaves. After giving out the fruits, everyone each had a small bunch.


    ¡°What large cherries.¡±


    ¡°Mn! It¡¯s really so sweet! Thank you, Miaomiao!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome, you¡¯re welcome. Have some more!¡±


    Ning Yixiao listened to the conversation between the few next to him and joined in every now and then. Everyone began discussion on what sort of ice-breaker game to play next. When a nearby club member inquired for his opinion, Ning Yixiao only gave a reply: ¡°So long as it¡¯s not too extreme. Let¡¯s get a girl to suggest one as much as possible.¡±


    ¡°Then how about we play Truth Or Dare?¡±


    ¡°Or a five-legged race with four people? If you lose¡­ perform a talent of yours!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s so old-school!¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯ll definitely be very interesting if we do it. Believe me!¡±


    ¡°But what if you don¡¯t have a talent?¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ Then how about talking about something that left a deep impression on you?¡±


    Everyone was talking noisily. In this short while, Ning Yixiao turned his head, sharply noticing that Su Hui had disappeared.


    ¡°Yixiao, I just wrote on these. Pick one.¡± A girl next to him extended a handful of rolled up paper.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go take a call first.¡± Ning Yixiao stood up and left the crowd.


    Just following his instincts, he searched everywhere, passing by the school drugstore midway and entering it to purchase some things. In the end, he spotted him in the dark pavilion, separated by the bright red Chinese trumpet vine [2] that climbed upwards.


    Su Hui sat languidly in the pavilion, bent over as though he was talking to something in quiet whispers.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be really nice to you. Don¡¯t be scared of me. I¡¯m not a bad person¡­¡±


    Ning Yixiao approached him bit by bit, managing to catch his words clearer now and see that gentle smile on his face.


    It turned out that he was squatting in front of a stray puppy, patting its head.


    ¡°It was you the last time too, right? Do you still remember me?¡±


    ¡°Did you have a good day today? Are you hungry? I have cherries,¡± Su Hui spoke as he took out a cherry from his pocket. He broke it in halves, removing the seed before offering it to the puppy.


    But it seemed disinterested in fruits, only sniffing it before it wagged its tail and backed away slightly.


    Su Hui tried a few more times, but the puppy still refused to accept it. He could only push it into his mouth. ¡°¡­This one is a little sour.¡±


    Seeing his nose wrinkled from the sourness, Ning Yixiao found it extremely adorable. But he didn¡¯t notice that Su Hui had raised his head and discovered him ¡°spying¡± on him for a while.


    Caught red-handed, Ning Yixiao walked over, feigning nonchalance. He pushed aside the hanging vines and stepped into the pavilion. ¡°Why did you sneak away?¡±


    Su Hui was very honest. ¡°That student kept asking me why I didn¡¯t come to class.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t want to answer?¡± Ning Yixiao asked.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t decided what kind of story to make up yet.¡± Su Hui shoved another cherry into his mouth, answering him slowly. But he appeared to be in a relatively good mood. ¡°I ate too much medicine. It clogs up my mind.¡±


    Ning Yixiao stared at the small sickly person in front of him. The road lamps outside the pavilion spilled their lights over, lighting up his red liquid-stained fingertips and lips. They seemed like they would taste so sweet.


    Not too far away, a singing voice came. It was a very pleasant a cappella. The lyrics were scattered by the summer night winds, allowing them to only hear some indistinct words related to love. As if they were talking about love, but yet not. Vague and indistinct.


    ¡°They¡¯re playing a game. If you lose, you¡¯d have to perform something or talk about something that left a deep impression on you. Looks like someone has already lost.¡± Ning Yixiao said, sitting next to Su Hui.


    Su Hui turned his head with a smile. ¡°What game?¡±


    ¡°Five-legged race with four people?¡± Ning Yixiao wasn¡¯t too certain what they ultimately decided on. ¡°Or games like that.¡±


    Compared to being squeezed in a crowd, Su Hui much preferred himself to be found by someone after vanishing from the crowd. And since this person was Ning Yixiao, his exaltation only deepened.


    He laughed, turning to tell Ning Yixiao, ¡°Since we¡¯re the only two here, how about we play rock, paper, scissors?¡±


    Ning Yixiao nodded in agreement. But what surprised him was that this game ended much earlier than he imagined. He had just thrown out rock when he saw Su Hui excitedly extend scissors.


    Su Hui¡¯s expression changed then, like a little flower that swiftly withered. Ning Yixiao broke into laughter. ¡°Three rounds. You¡¯ll win if you win two rounds.¡±


    He nodded immediately, and then said, ¡°My luck has always been kind of bad.¡±


    This sounded like an excuse to defend himself, but when Ning Yixiao gave rock again to go easy on him, Su Hui actually picked scissors again. So, he had no choice but to believe him.


    After losing two consecutive rounds, there was no possibility of making a comeback. Su Hui leaned back on the bench, giving up. ¡°As expected. I knew it.¡±


    ¡°Then do you have to accept the punishment too?¡± Ning Yixiao raised an eyebrow. ¡°Perform a talent of yours.¡±


    Su Hui was quiet for a while. Then, he suddenly laughed.


    ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± Ning Yixiao studied him.


    Su Hui stood up, moving closer to him. ¡°I remembered that I do have a talent.¡± As he spoke, he took out another cherry from his pocket. But he didn¡¯t eat it, only plucking the cherry stem.


    ¡°I¡¯ll tie a knot with a cherry stem.¡± Su Hui put the cherry stem into his mouth. His voice was a little slurred. ¡°With my tongue.¡±


    After he spoke, he pursed his lips.


    Inappropriately, Ning Yixiao remembered the tongue piercing that he had shown him before. Remembered the juice that stained him when he bit down on the cherry, and then thought of his soft mouth cavity and soft palate, the clean white teeth and tongue tip that curled backwards to reveal the hole that remained on the tip of his tongue.


    He suddenly wanted very much to know how it would feel to touch it ¡ª when a tongue pin was put on, when it was not put on, if he clasped it between his index or middle finger, or if he stretched his fingers in.


    ¡°Done.¡±


    The muffled voice pulled Ning Yixiao¡¯s wandering mind back.


    As he fell into a daze, Su Hui had already succeeded in his ¡°talent performance¡±, spitting the tied cherry stem on his palm, pleased. He moved it closer to show Ning Yixiao. ¡°Look.¡±


    The bent cherry stem was tied in the middle. Its shape looked just like the love arrow shot by Cupid.


    Su Hui¡¯s voice was even gentler than the summer night winds; it seemed just like the trumpet vine nearing its blooming season, drifting to rest on Ning Yixiao¡¯s heart. ¡°How is this talent? Isn¡¯t it amazing?¡±


    Ning Yixiao smiled to cover up his heart that struggled to calm down and the lavish image in his mind that he could not remove from his mind.


    ¡°You¡¯re so amazing.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Sorry, I was outside the entire day today and my phone ran out of battery. I just charged it. Sorry for posting it late


    Translator Note:


    [1] ½¿×Ó is comprised of Chinese characters usually used for a female name. The cigarette brand is named Jiao Zi after the Chengdu panda.


    [2] The Chinese word for Chinese trumpet vines is ÁèÏö (l¨ªng xi¨¡o), which, when broken up, could be read as ¡®midnight/early morning¡¯ ¡®night¡¯, which could be an intentional choice given that it has the same ¡®xiao¡¯ as Ning Yixiao¡¯s name.

 CH 18

    Chapter 18: P. Cherries and the Sea


    Ning Yixiao, you don¡¯t have to pretend.


    ¡°I finished all the cherries.¡±


    Su Hui touched his pocket.


    ¡°I still have some.¡± Ning Yixiao gave his to him. Every single one in his pocket.


    ¡°You don¡¯t like them?¡± Su Hui cocked his head.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Ning Yixiao said. ¡°I don¡¯t quite like them.¡±


    ¡°Alright. Then let¡¯s have another rock paper scissors match.¡± Su Hui raised his fist to his shoulder, already ready to throw it out. ¡°I don¡¯t believe that I¡¯ll still lose.¡±


    So, Ning Yixiao could only have another match with him. Perhaps it was because he was still lost in his earlier thoughts, he was a little distracted and actually did lose to Su Hui.


    Paper against scissors. Su Hui had taken his late victory through perseverance.


    ¡°Let¡¯s not have three rounds this time?¡± He began to act shamelessly.


    This made Ning Yixiao nearly laugh. ¡°Alright then. But I don¡¯t have any talent.¡±


    Su Hui looked as though he was surveying a liar. ¡°Those words don¡¯t sound convincing.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not lying,¡± Ning Yixiao said as he took out the medicine that he bought from his pocket. He crouched down. ¡°Roll up your pants. Let me see how your knees are.¡±


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, you really know how to change the topic.¡± Su Hui sucked in his cheeks and lowered his head. His cap had left a small shadow. His tone was soft. ¡°Then say something that left a deep impression on you.¡±


    ¡°Let me look at your knees.¡± Ning Yixiao changed the topic, voice very gentle. ¡°You can¡¯t even walk properly.¡±


    Su Hui could only obediently do as he was done, bending down to roll up his pants and exposing his bruised kneecaps. Ning Yixiao did not ask him what happened and only quietly doused alcohol on the cotton buds. Then he said, ¡°The bruises are very dark. If I press down, the remedy would be more effective.¡±


    Su Hui nodded.


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s gentle fingers pressed on his injured knees, rubbing and spreading the alcohol as gently as he could. But he could still hear Su Hui¡¯s quiet sucking in of breath.


    ¡°Does it hurt?¡±


    ¡°A little.¡± Su Hui answered truthfully. ¡°You¡­ Go slower.¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s head was lowered, fingers pressed on the bruised area as he responded, voice low, ¡°Alright. If it hurts, just tell me. I¡¯ll stop.¡±


    The winds seemed to have stilled. The sweltering air shrouded the two. Su Hui had his lips pursed, feeling warm. The alcohol smell was gradually intensifying, suppressing the sour sweetness of the cherries, mixing into an odd sickeningly sweet air.


    Ning Yixiao could feel himself approaching the most dangerous boundary step by step. And what was scary was that he was aware of it and he was willing.


    This was out of a motive to warn himself or perhaps to let Su Hui know clearly how big the distance between the two of them was.


    ¡°Su Hui, do you still want to hear it?¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s abrupt words left Su Hui in some bewilderment. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The punishment earlier.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Su Hui realized then. ¡°I do.¡± The pressing was a little painful now, so he shrunk back instinctively.


    Ning Yixiao paused for a moment before he began, ¡°I remember you said you like the sea. I grew up by the sea. But it¡¯s probably different from what you imagine. It was a very dangerous sea. Sometimes, the men who set out to the sea didn¡¯t come back.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s imagination grew. He seemed to have been suddenly pulled to the blue seaside, the waves nearly swallowing him up.


    ¡°Would your father head out to the sea?¡± He was a little curious. ¡°Have you gone before?¡±


    Ning Yixiao chuckled. That was a laugh different from all of the previous ones. It was very cold, very bitter ¡ª the taste of alcohol-stained cherries.


    He spoke with a chuckle, ¡°My family was just me and my mother, so I¡¯ve never gone out to the sea.¡±


    In these few hours he spent together with Su Hui, a bizarre, yet despondent thought constantly surfaced in Ning Yixiao¡¯s mind ¡ª he didn¡¯t know when he¡¯d see this person again.


    Perhaps urged on by such a feeling, he allowed a rare act of opening himself up.


    It was considered a form of warning to himself too. What kind of a place he hailed from, all these heavy burdens on his shoulders ¡ª all things he was unable to forget just because of a temporary happiness.


    Ning Yixiao got up, sitting beside Su Hui again, continuing with a very calm voice, ¡°I grew up in a fishing village. My mother gave birth to me there. Because I don¡¯t have a father, I was always bullied by the older kids there. That was a very small, very ragged fishing village, and underdeveloped. Most people relied on the sea to make a living. Going out to sea to fish was the largest productive force in the entire village. Those who could fish had the right to input their opinion. My family didn¡¯t have the right to speak.¡±


    His mother was frail and had a beautiful face that was utterly unbefitting of her ill fate. There was absolutely no way for her to stay on those fishing boats together with those men, who practically wanted to eat her alive, and tolerate the erosion of the waves. She could only rely on selling eggs and making fishing nets to make a living.


    ¡°There was only one school in the village and didn¡¯t differentiate the kids into different grades. All the children attended elementary school together despite having different ages. I was one of the youngest ones.¡±


    Ning Yixiao gazed at the students playing and laughing from not afar, his thoughts drifting to a place far, far away ¡ª back to that rough, poverty-stricken village.


    ¡°I still remember it was around this season. I think I was eight then. There was a boy five years older than me, whom the rest called Dacheng. Dacheng¡¯s uncle worked in the cherry garden outside the village. When he returned to visit them, he¡¯d bring a box of cherries back. So, Dacheng would bring a net full of them to class to share with everyone.¡±


    For some reason, Su Hui seemed to have guessed what happened afterwards. Those imagined scenes seemed exceedingly real, as if he had experienced it too, right next to the little Ning Yixiao.


    ¡°He gave all of the good and big ones to the rest and gave me rotten ones.¡±


    Ning Yixiao was so calm that it seemed as though he was telling a fictional story. ¡°Of course I didn¡¯t want to eat them. It was a very hot day and the rotten cherries had a stench.


    ¡°But they forced me. Two of them grabbed me and pushed me on the brick wall while another person used a fishing net to tie my struggling legs in place. Dacheng shoved those rotten cherries into my mouth one by one, forcing me to swallow them.


    ¡°I threw them up right there. So, they went to complain to the teacher, saying that I was wasting food.¡± Ning Yixiao chuckled lightly. ¡°No matter how I explained it, the teacher believed them and made me stand under the hot sun for two hours as punishment. After that, I had a heat stroke, so my mother had to carry me back home.¡±


    Ning Yixiao¡¯s eyes were lowered. ¡°Until now, I still can¡¯t forget that rotten smell. As long as I take a bite, I¡¯ll remember it.¡±


    After finishing the story, he asked Su Hui, ¡°Is this considered as something that left a deep impression?¡±


    Su Hui was staring at him, dazed too, not speaking a word.


    The night was like tranquil waters. Ning Yixiao saw his gradually reddening eye rims and wet eyes, and he could not help but laugh. He instinctively reached out to touch the tip of his nose, but suddenly realized that would be overstepping, so he just pointed. ¡°Why do you look like you¡¯re about to cry?¡±


    Su Hui shook his head. His hands pat all around his body before pulling out his cigarette pack and offering it to him. ¡°Do you want one?¡±


    Ning Yixiao found him very interesting and told him, ¡°Su Hui, I¡¯m not upset.¡±


    ¡°You are.¡± Su Hui looked into his eyes. ¡°You¡¯re upset right now.¡±


    Ning Yixiao could not keep meeting his eyes like this. A few seconds later, he surrendered, looking down and taking a cigarette from his hand. He stared at the blueish-green glow on the black cigarette box. ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, you don¡¯t have to pretend.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s voice seemed to have a certain type of curse. He seemed just like the sweetest trap in the world. Even if Ning Yixiao had received warnings from countless people, even if he knew that they were not of the same world, he still could not help but be defenseless to this lure.


    ¡°What am I pretending?¡± Ning Yixiao tossed the pack up into the air, and the box fell back into his hand.


    Toss it up.


    ¡°Even though you clearly don¡¯t like to smile, you smile every day.¡±


    It fell back.


    In the warm wind, Su Hui¡¯s voice was soft and gentle, yet firm. ¡°Even though you clearly detest your current life, you still pretend you accept it passionately.¡±


    Toss it up¡ª


    ¡°Actually you don¡¯t like to be in the loud and enthusiastic storm of a crowd, you don¡¯t like too many people crowding around you, you don¡¯t like to gain the teachers¡¯ favor, you don¡¯t like to work such a tiring life¡­¡±


    It fell back.


    Ning Yixiao gripped the box hard.


    He did not smile. He took out a cigarette lighter, lit the cigarette up and took a drag. He exhaled it and then turned to Su Hui, tone languid. ¡°Then, tell me, what do I like?¡±


    That stumbled Su Hui. This beautiful face emitted vibrancy under the street lamps, shrouded by the tobacco smoke.


    ¡°You¡¯re actually really cold. You might not like anything at all.¡±


    He took out a cigarette too, asking him for the lighter but was rejected. Ning Yixiao¡¯s hand that held the lighter was raised afar, but his face was facing him.


    Su Hui did not try to snatch it. He just put the cigarette between his lips and bit down on the cigarette bead. The spicy mint assaulted his mind. He moved closer, tone soft and gentle. ¡°Stingy.¡±


    The slim, long and white cigarette met Ning Yixiao¡¯s burning one like a substitute kiss. It let the transferred fire, mint flavor soaked in and amorous breathing be sucked into Su Hui¡¯s lungs.


    After moving away, he asked Ning Yixiao, ¡°Why are you willing to tell me about yourself?¡±


    Ning Yixiao stared at Su Hui¡¯s expensive sports shoes and expensive cigarette box in the gray smoke, answering vaguely, ¡°Because I lost.¡±


    The coldhearted interior that had been exposed. That enigmatic night ended with an almost unpleasant separation.


    After smoking a cigarette each, the two quietly returned to the bonfire gathering without an actual bonfire and participated in social interaction that they did not care for.


    Su Hui continued conversing with that male student, occasionally responding with a bright, unrestrained smile. Ning Yixiao continued to feign nonchalance.


    But in the many days after this, the situation was different from what Ning Yixiao thought. Su Hui did not disappear because of his coldness. It was the opposite; he showed up every day.


    Each time Ning Yixiao returned to school from the company he was interning in and headed to the self-study room or lab room, Su Hui was almost always there.


    What surprised him even more was that Su Hui would bring him different cherry desserts every day. There were cherry almond tarts, cherry cakes, or cherry cream puffs, cherry pound cake, cherry banana parfait.


    After a week, Ning Yixiao finally saw Su Hui again. He was holding a delicate small dessert box, humming as he waited for him under a tree by the campus¡¯s lovers¡¯ slope.


    It was a very beautiful night. Fire-burnt clouds filling the sky reflected against the vast, empty field.


    On the field was even a pair taking wedding photos. They wore purple academic dresses. The girl had a white veil and was holding a small bouquet of lily-of-the-valley.


    Perhaps they were too blissful. The contrast only made Su Hui, who stood alone not too far away, seem a little pitiful.


    After meeting up, Su Hui asked him where he wanted to eat. Ning Yixiao was too exhausted, so he suggested they just sit on the field. Thus, the two ate the desserts as they looked at the newlyweds taking photos.


    Ning Yixiao took a bite and thought he had improved. It was no longer like at the start, with egg shells still in the cake.


    ¡°They look so cute even without wearing wedding gowns and suits.¡± Su Hui leaned on the tree bark and said with a smile.


    ¡°Does it make you want to get married now?¡± Ning Yixiao teased him.


    Su Hui laughed. But after that, he very seriously answered, ¡°I probably won¡¯t get married.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Ning Yixiao asked.


    On the grass fields, the photographer ended a portion of the filming, telling the newlyweds ¡°congrats on your marriage¡±. The bride giggled shyly.


    Su Hui watched, gaze honest. ¡°Because no one can tolerate being with me forever, I guess.¡±


    Ning Yixiao put down the box in his hand. He wanted to say something, but Su Hui quickly did it first.


    ¡°But seeing others get married really makes me feel so satisfied. Weddings too. When the bride and groom do their vows at their wedding, it¡¯s probably their happiest moment. I just find it a little sad that I¡¯ve never attended a single wedding before. If only I¡¯m not sick.¡±


    Ning Yixiao looked at Su Hui, watching him very attentively stare at the newlyweds taking their photos. He looked very relaxed, happy but yet very sensitive too.


    ¡°What about you?¡± Su Hui suddenly asked. ¡°What kind of wedding do you like?¡±


    Ning Yixiao was a little expressionless and answered curtly, ¡°I don¡¯t like weddings, nor marriage.¡±


    After answering, he habitually changed the topic. ¡°Why did you make so many desserts?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t like them?¡±


    Su Hui looked at him. His usual gentle tone was colored with a little bit of complaint. ¡°These are all things I learned from tutorial videos by patissiers. Making desserts is really too hard. It takes too much time. I don¡¯t even get enough time to sleep.¡±


    This time, Ning Yixiao wasn¡¯t beguiled by his reply that did not answer him. He instead repeated, ¡°Why do you bring some for me every day? Don¡¯t tell me you recently have plans to start a dessert shop, so you want me to help you taste-test?¡±


    Su Hui shook his head. He borrowed his spoon and took a bite of the parfait that was about to melt. ¡°Ning Yixiao, do you think this tastes good?¡±


    Ning Yixiao nodded.


    ¡°Then that¡¯s good.¡± Su Hui put down the scoop, leaning on the tree, relaxed, his smile faint but sweet.


    ¡°I just want you to think of a delicious taste when you think of cherries in the future.¡±


    That startled Ning Yixiao. His heartbeat seemed to have stilled for a moment. The almost sunken red sunlight lit up Su Hui¡¯s ample cheeks bright, just like a blissful peach.


    ¡°But I too know that it¡¯s not easy to change one¡¯s memories.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s voice was very soft, just like the one he used when he patted the stray dog and spoke to it quietly. ¡°I kept thinking these few days. If I grew up together with you and lived in that seaside village, then we¡¯d be very, very similar.


    ¡°Because I also don¡¯t have a dad who can bring me out to sea. I don¡¯t even have a very healthy body. So, they might even like to bully me more and tie me up too. If that really happened¡­¡±


    As he spoke, he laughed. Innocent. Romantic.


    ¡°Ning Yixiao, I¡¯ll eat the rotten cherries with you.¡±


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: Su Hui is coming for NYX¡¯s heart (Cao: and mine YIHUI!)

 CH 19

    Chapter 19: N. Caught Between a Rock And a Hard Place


    I like weddings very much.


    The snow in Seattle was getting heavier and heavier. Su Hui walked on the pedestrian crossing alone, with no direction in mind.


    Liang Wen called him thrice and only got through in the third call. Although he asked about his glasses verbally, he then smoothly directed the conversation to have Su Hui tell him what happened. Then, he informed him that it was hard to book a room during Christmas and told Su Hui to stay at his place for one night first.


    Su Hui wanted to reject him, but worried that his state would become disastrous and end up affecting tomorrow¡¯s exhibition. So, he could only agree. Liang Wen came to get him on the ground floor. Seeing his bad complexion, he gave him a reassuring hug.


    A bathtub, hot water, a comforting scent and a slow-paced sea creature documentary ¡ª everything that could lighten Su Hui¡¯s depressive mood, Liang Wen could provide it very generously.


    ¡°Why do you like the sea so much?¡± Liang Wen held a glass of dry martini as he stood by the couch.


    A blanket draped over Su Hui, his eyes blankly looking at the sea on the screen.


    ¡°A seaside life would be very blissful. If I can choose, I want to grow up in a small fishing village,¡± he answered dully.


    That night, he couldn¡¯t be the slightest composed at all. Even if he had returned to a quiet guest room and lay on a soft and empty bed, he would see Ning Yixiao¡¯s face in his mind. The quieter his surroundings were, the more cluttered his mind was.


    He would faintly hear Ning Yixiao¡¯s voice ¡ª hear him utter, ¡°I thought you had already forgotten me. After all, I nearly couldn¡¯t remember you anymore.¡±


    The snow outside fell endlessly, and Su Hui did not sleep a wink this night. The moment he closed his eyes, painful memories would repeat itself again and again, not a single thing held back.


    He forced himself to get up from bed, take his medications and change his clothes. Liang Wen specially drove him to the exhibition and greeted the organizational team. They requested Su Hui to stay a little longer, and he complied.


    All the other exhibitioners were impassioned, leaving Su Hui finding himself dry and useless. He could only cautiously study the surroundings, feigning enthusiasm. Liang Wen bought coffee for him, so Su Hui accepted with a polite smile in response.


    He¡¯d at times look up to stare at those little butterflies after butterflies, which he folded personally, and the dizziness would strike him again. He would suddenly recall the image of Ning Yixiao hiding in the cocoon together with him. But this only happened in certain moments.


    Worried about his grandmother who was alone in the apartment, the moment the exhibit ended, Su Hui took a flight back to New York.


    At the airport terminal, he received a call from the organizer, who told him that his exhibition piece had been purchased by a private collector.


    This news made Su Hui¡¯s dead waters of a heart ripple.


    ¡°May I ask if they left their email or similar contact details?¡±


    Su Hui opened his mailbox and found a new email. After clicking into it, it was still that person¡¯s engagement party invitation, as assiduous as ever, as though the bountiful feast in the engagement party would become tasteless if he did not attend it.


    He did not click into the details and just exited the invitation email, telling the employee on the other end of the call, ¡°I¡¯d like to write an email to express my gratitude to the collector.¡±


    ¡°I apologize, the other party requested to be anonymous. We are unable to provide you with his personal details.¡± The employee comforted him. ¡°It¡¯s alright, Eddy. The other party adores your art piece very much and made payment promptly as well. Could you check if you¡¯ve received the payment yet?¡±


    Su Hui did it as he was told. There was certainly an additional amount of money in his bank account. Ten thousand American dollars. It was not inexpensive.


    This money came at the right time. It resolved numerous of his current predicament.


    Su Hui paid his rent and paid off his credit card debt from purchasing his medications. These things that left him at his wit¡¯s ends had temporarily vanished.


    Since he was a young, he lived in a majestic cage, with the power and wealth that he did not want, and without the freedom that he yearned for. Now, everything had become inverted. But Su Hui still made an utter mess of his life.


    On the airplane, he gazed at the clouds outside, thinking of how Ning Yixiao looked in the hotel. He appeared as though he had obtained what he wanted. This comforted Su Hui.


    Without himself, Ning Yixiao would only live a better life.


    The cramped plane cabin made one breathless. After making it through this flight, Su Hui landed in New York. He switched on his phone and discovered three missed calls, all from the landlord. He immediately dialed back.


    The snowfall here was even heavier. The weather was abhorrent, and it was practically impossible to get a cab. When the call finally connected, the landlord¡¯s voice was extremely panicked.


    ¡°Hurry back! Your grandmother fainted and I just sent her to the hospital!¡±


    His mind immediately went blank.


    He could not even afford the time to think. Dashing out of the airport, he searched in the far and wide snowfall for a long time before finally catching a cab.


    The temperature in the car was extremely low. He could not tell if his stiff hands were frozen or if it was simply a physical symptom of being in his depressive episode.


    Su Hui attempted to type, but he could not do it at all. He only barely managed to dial his landlord¡¯s number again, and in a flurry of panic, asked about the situation when it happened.


    Together with his grandmother, he rented a place in an old apartment building in Queens and stayed on the same floor as the landlord.


    The landlord was a fifty-year-old white-haired old lady who got along well with his grandmother. They would often get together to cook and chat. Today was not an exception. Just as the landlord went to fetch the flour, his grandmother suddenly fainted and went into shock.


    Su Hui¡¯s stomach was at his throat, his body curled up at the back seat, breathing difficult. He attempted to make himself look more normal, but his body was beyond his control. He could only open up the window a little, letting the chilly wind wake up his mind more.


    The wind, coupled with some snow, blew Su Hui¡¯s hair into a disheveled mess. His ears began ringing. Knitting his eyebrows together, he pressed his lips into a thin line.


    The driver in the front seat noticed something off and inquired if he needed help. Su Hui shook his head, hands gripping the seat and eyes guarded and uneasy.


    Even until he got out of the car, he attempted to free himself from the pessimistic foreboding and to believe that his grandmother would be fine. But akin to gloomy clouds that could not be blown away, it reflected itself on Su Hui¡¯s heart.


    In the hospital, he found the extremely anxious landlord. Seeing him, she relaxed a little.


    She kept Su Hui company while waiting for the doctor¡¯s critical diagnosis. But the wait was too long. One hour. Two hours. Yet, the light of the emergency room remained lit.


    Su Hui could not allow the landlord to waste her time waiting, so he thanked her countless times and told her to go back for a rest first.


    The white light in the hospital was glaring. Only a suitcase kept him company in solitude.


    During the process of waiting, for a very long while, Su Hui thought that the medicine he took had lost its effectiveness. He felt strengthless, disgusted, imagining himself as a pool of melting glue, spilling on the floor, sticking itself on those doctors that came and went.


    He knew he was not normal. But he could not stop his own abnormality.


    At one in the morning, the primary physician appeared in front of him, calmly and cruelly announcing to him the diagnosis.


    ¡°Primary liver cancer. Middle stage. Its symptoms resulted in the fainting.¡±


    This diagnosis was like a death sentence; it ruthlessly chopped into his heart.


    Su Hui was stunned on the spot, eyebrows lightly knitted together, many emotions instantaneously flooded out of his large but empty eyes. He could not be sure if he genuinely understood it correctly, nor did he know what he should ask.


    ¡°You¡¯re the patient¡¯s family?¡±


    Su Hui nodded after a beat. ¡°She is my maternal grandmother.¡±


    The doctor nodded. He had seen too many of such situations, and so did not see it as out of the ordinary.


    ¡°Right now, the patient¡¯s situation is critical. We have to go into the ICU to stabilize her. But we must let you know the detailed costs involved first.¡±


    Su Hui immediately said, ¡°Any amount is fine. Please, you have to save my grandmother¡­¡±


    ¡°Please sign this form.¡± The doctor handed him the consent form[1]. ¡°I still have to inform you of other things as well.¡±


    ¡°There are many ways to treat liver cancer. For patients in the middle stage, we¡¯d have to check and judge whether the patient is stable enough to have surgery. Only then, we can decide our course of treatment. So, even if we can stabilize her, she has to be hospitalized for a week for tests.


    ¡°If surgery is possible, we¡¯ll immediately arrange for liver resection. If surgery is not possible, then we cannot do anything other than conservative therapy.¡±


    ¡°Will the surgery¡­¡± Su Hui¡¯s throat was dry. ¡°Will the surgery help her recover?¡±


    The doctor evidently avoided meeting his gaze, providing a mild answer. ¡°The chances of recovery from liver cancer is very low. If surgery is possible, the chances will increase and there is a large likelihood that she can live longer.¡±


    Live longer.


    This was not the answer that he wanted.


    Su Hui¡¯s nose reddened. He unnaturally lowered his head, clearing his throat. ¡°Then¡­ what do I need to do now?¡±


    The doctor had a nurse lead Su Hui to register and pay for the hospitalization fees. Being in his depressive episode, it was difficult for him to adjust to the fast paceness of the hospital. He had barely caught up when the nurse¡¯s avalanche of questions hit him. Coming right at his face was medical insurance.


    ¡°Are you an American citizen? Do you have insurance?¡±


    Su Hui was taken aback hearing that. Then he shook his head. ¡°I don¡¯t. And I¡¯m not.¡±


    The nurse gave him a look, seeing his pretty face and old clothes. ¡°Then your medical bills will be very high. Extremely high.¡±


    ¡°How much?¡± Su Hui inquired.


    ¡°We are not sure yet.¡± The nurse stared at the records on the computer and said casually, ¡°It¡¯s different for everyone. You should ask your attending physician.¡±


    After saying that, she handed the invoice to Su Hui. ¡°Pay the ICU fees first. $10,000.¡±


    This price was practically sky-high to him. But Su Hui did not hesitate. He swiped his card and asked, ¡°After payment, will my grandmother immediately get to stay?¡±


    ¡°Someone will inform you.¡± The nurse gave him a glance. ¡°Why does it seem as if you¡¯ve never been to the hospital?¡±


    Su Hui lowered his eyes.


    The hospital was likely the most familiar place to him. Except, this time, the person who needed treatment was no longer himself.


    Su Hui was like a ghost with no home to return to, wandering on the floor his grandmother was at, watching her be sent into the ICU ward, incapable of going in to keep her company.


    He did not have the courage to leave for even a second. He could only sit at the corridor¡¯s staircase ¡ª the entire night, sleepless.


    Su Hui could not differentiate if this was a nightmare or reality. After all, its starting point was Ning Yixiao ¡ª whom he could only see in his dreams.


    He doubted it every second. Wondered if his illness had acted up again. If he was experiencing hallucinations. Perhaps at this time, his grandmother was still at home, very peacefully making wontons while waiting for him to come home.


    In these years, he had spent them always attempting to stand up, and was always beaten down into pieces by unexpected occurrences. Even if he got hurt, he didn¡¯t find it painful. He just felt so bitingly dry, such that he couldn¡¯t even swallow even after chewing the feeling up.


    He didn¡¯t know when the next hard hit would come.


    After a tormenting sixteen hours, his grandmother finally moved from the ICU to a normal crowded ward. And Su Hui could finally genuinely be by his grandmother¡¯s side. ¡ªHis hallucinations had also been shattered and turned into reality.


    The ward was so cold. He ran back and forth, searching for a shop and purchasing a cotton blanket to cover his grandmother.


    She was still unconscious. Su Hui held her aged hand and held it for a long time.


    When he went to pour a cup of water, he heard voices talking, saying that the previous patient who took Su Hui¡¯s grandmother¡¯s bed had left last afternoon. They had departed in their dreams.


    The next day, the test results came out. The attending physician told him that the fortunate thing was that his grandmother had a chance to undergo surgery, but there was a large risk, and the costs were high too. He studied Su Hui and once again asked if he could accept this method.


    ¡°A hundred thousand American dollars?¡± Su Hui asked again.


    ¡°Yes. The patient¡¯s illness complications are dangerous. The surgery is very complicated.¡±


    The doctor told him, ¡°Surgery also isn¡¯t the end of the treatment. There might be higher costs in the later stage for the interventional treatment, hospitalization fees and medical bills. Based on my clinical experience, you¡¯ll at least need to prepare $500,000.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s savings only had less than $8,000, and that even included the amount that he received not long ago ¡ª the amount that once gave him temporary joy.


    ¡°I¡¯ll try.¡± His eyes were red, but his tears never fell, strong-willed. ¡°I want to save her. This is very important to me. She¡­ is my only relative now.¡±


    He knew that he could borrow from others. He could ask Liang Wen, or Professor White, but his pride was rioting. These people had already helped him far too much, and gave him material assistance too many times.


    Opening his email, he once again saw the invitation to the engagement party.


    When he first received the invitation, Su Hui had thought it was sent to him by mistake. He was not a wedding planner, nor a wedding designer. All the work he did had absolutely no relation to engagements.


    But the sender emphasized once again that their client adored his works very much and extended an invitation multiple times, hoping to chat with him in person.


    In the tumultuous depressive episodes, Su Hui could never muster up interest in anything. He did not even open the attachments that the person had sent over. He did not want to know at all who it was that was about to step foot into a wedding venue.


    Perhaps it was arrogance or perhaps loftiness ¡ª he had thought of himself as different.


    But this time, Su Hui realized that he was not different.


    He dialed the number on the email and cut straight to the point, agreeing to their invitation. They were elated at the news, as if they had completed some incredible goal and offered for him to give a price quotation.


    Su Hui hated money. But he still forced himself to say words he didn¡¯t want to.


    ¡°A hundred thousand American dollars. Is that acceptable?¡±


    The party on the other end of the call agreed swiftly, practically without a thought, as if $100,000 was not worth a mention to them.


    ¡°Of course. There¡¯s no problem whatsoever.¡±


    Su Hui was quiet for a moment and then spoke up again, ¡°I¡¯m very sorry. The payment¡­ I might need it to be made as soon as possible. I know this request is very impolite, but tomorrow¡­ by tomorrow, I¡¯ll give you the draft.¡±


    The other party was indifferent. ¡°It¡¯s no problem. It¡¯s not a big request. Please give me your account number. We will make payment immediately. If my client is satisfied, you will most definitely receive more than this.¡±


    Su Hui stood under a tree near the hospital, extinguishing a cigarette as he ended the call. The snow never melted in the end, simply accumulated and dirtied under footsteps.


    For the sake of getting the draft out, he stayed up all night in the corridor of the hospital. But from start to end, he didn¡¯t have any inspiration, and curled himself on the chair alone. It was until the sky was faintly brightening that in between sleep and being awake, he remembered Ning Yixiao, remembered the rainy night when he met him, at that bus stop bellowing with winds.


    Su Hui got up, dazedly but anxiously drawing everything in his mind with a pencil.


    Then he succumbed into the falling, endlessly replaying the events from six years ago.


    The contact in the call transferred the money, but made a sudden request, inquiring if it was possible for him to meet the client, Miss Jones, in person. She wanted to talk to him and retain a copy of the draft.


    ¡°Yes, sure.¡±


    There was no bottom line for Su Hui to speak of. After he agreed, he took the train hastily. The cold air was tinged with the moldy peanut smell in the train. Everywhere were enlarged photographs, advertisements headlines, slogans ¡ª jolting every passerby¡¯s numbed heart.


    Manhattan, a place that many dreamed of. A great number of high-risers stood silently in the snow, like a stifling snowy cedar forest.


    Cold air seeped into his throat even until he reached the agreed location by foot. It was a luxurious hotel. The designer of the hotel was even the previous headmaster of the school that Su Hui was in.


    The hotel host seemed to have already been informed ahead of time. Seeing him, they politely gave him a bow and led him into the hotel.


    He had spent these days at the hospital, taking care of his grandmother. Su Hui didn¡¯t have the time to change his clothes, but he did not care either. Even if every single person here wore Chinese traditional clothing while he only wore a large coat with ragged sleeves and a pair of old shoes, he would never care.


    The inside of the golden elevator was like the interior of a gift box, awaiting being opened up by the upper class.


    The eleventh floor. His first step was cushioned by a long-furred sheepskin rug. Soft and quiet. The host introduced the place diligently, telling him that this entire floor was used to hold parties. Currently, the place was still very empty, without any ornaments.


    There was a full-length glass window all around, allowing the view of the entire Manhattan. But Su Hui did not feel moved at all.


    A door in the party hall at the back opened. Walking in his direction was a beautiful young Caucasian woman, donned in a snow-white wool coat and a white beret. When she spotted him, her eyes instantly lit up.


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t expected an artist to have such a pretty face. If your photo showed up on an advertisement board on any of the streets here, I¡¯d definitely mistake you for the newest fashion icon.¡±


    Even if the first half of Su Hui¡¯s life was the so-called upper society¡¯s life, he knew with clarity that he was just a bird in a cage. He could not get used to the rules of high society at all. That included their praises.


    ¡°I¡¯m Bella Jones. You can call me Bella.¡± Bella had a sweet smile, golden curls fine and beautiful. She extended a hand. ¡°I¡¯m very honored to meet you.¡±


    ¡°I am too, Miss Jones.¡± Su Hui shook her fingertips neither humbly nor overbearingly.


    ¡°At first, I was about to lose hope.¡± The joy on Bella¡¯s face was genuine. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to truly be willing to come. I¡¯m too thrilled.¡±


    With much difficulty, Su Hui tugged his lips to form a smile. It was like heavy fetters on him were falling. During depressive episodes, it was always like this. Simply just standing here took all of his energy.


    Under his gaze, Bella¡¯s snow-white clothes and hat seemed to transform into a complete set of haute couture wedding dress. Utterly beautiful.


    Inappropriately, some memories flashed through Su Hui¡¯s mind.


    He said, ¡°I like weddings very much. When I see another person¡¯s wedding, I¡¯ll feel very satisfied and happy.¡±


    Saying that, Su Hui looked at Bella. ¡°I¡¯ve never attended a wedding in full before.¡±


    Bella clasped her hands together. Even the creases on her silk gloves were pretty. ¡°That¡¯s unfortunate. But don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll give you the best seat to watch.¡±


    As she spoke, she took Su Hui around the place. ¡°This is the venue that we¡¯ve decided on for now. Initially, I thought that a manor or the beach with natural scenery was better. But my fiance didn¡¯t quite like it. Even for this, I secretly invited you without saying a word.¡±


    Bella surveyed the surroundings and then came closer in an adorable manner, whispering secretly to Su Hui, ¡°I still think that it¡¯ll look much more magnificent if I put your art pieces by the beach, right?¡±


    Probably because the more guilty one felt, the more it would happen. Bella had just finished complaining when she saw the person entering through the door. She sighed and then haughtily raised a hand, intentionally greeting in an extremely exaggerated manner.


    ¡°Hi, my love.¡±


    Su Hui¡¯s gaze followed hers as well.


    In the next second, all the blood in his body froze, leaving him incapable of taking another step.


    Bella was smiling. She felt that verbal expression was not this depressed artist¡¯s strong suit, so she easily took up the task of introducing them. ¡°Eddy, this is my fiance. You can call him Shaw.¡±


    As she spoke, she looked at her fiance. ¡°Shaw, this is an art installation artist, Eddy. I especially hired him. He¡¯s a bright new star of New York¡¯s art world¡­¡±


    But before she finished, she noticed something amiss. She squinted hard at her fiance¡¯s face. ¡°Hey, is something wrong? Your face looks terrible.¡±


    Su Hui felt his breathing convulse, and he clenched his fingers tightly together.


    Countless illusions and dreams intersected, overlapping into this handsome but cruel face in front of him ¡ª the fiance of the client, his ex-boyfriend.


    Ning Yixiao tugged the corner of his lips upwards, but the darkening of his face did not lessen any. He extended a hand to Su Hui, tone friendly, gaze sharp.


    ¡°Hello, Eddy.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Poor Su Hui (cries)


    PS: don¡¯t get angry at Ning Yixiao. He doesn¡¯t really intend on getting married. It¡¯s just a mutually beneficial joint agreement with the female party. (It¡¯s only engagement, not marriage, and they¡¯ll cancel the engagement after some time) Neither parties have feelings for each other. And the female party has a lover. The main issue here is that someone was maliciously insulting the characters, so I have no choice but to explain things ahead of time. Sorry.


    Once again, I¡¯m thanking everyone for your support. For the next chapter onwards, the chapters will be paid. On the day that the first paid chapter drops, there¡¯ll be 10,000 words of content! Thank you everyone for keeping me company through a difficult serializing period. Love you all~


    Translator¡¯s Note:


    [1] The original ¡°²¡Î£Í¨Öª¡± literally translates to ¡°notice regarding the critical care [for the patient]¡±. And basically the patient¡¯s family has to sign this notice as an acknowledgement. However, this isn¡¯t a thing in the western world as far as we know, hence we altered it to a consent form, which would make more sense.


    ¡ª¡ª


    Cai: I work in healthcare and as far as I know, there¡¯s no notice or consent involved with transferring clients to the ICU. We chose consent in the end because it¡¯s the closest thing that would make sense! If anyone knows more about hospital notices like this I would love to hear more!


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