《Yohan Loves Tite》 CH 1.1 ¡°Look there. It¡¯s the crazy girl of the Rivero family.¡± I was walking, but you see, I heard people whispering while looking at me. I glared at where the voice came from, and the person, who insulted me, ran away without being able to let out any sound. Hmph¡ªI snorted. I can¡¯t believe that insolent insulted me from behind when she didn¡¯t even dare to speak in front of me. You are really lacking! I don¡¯t listen to the insults said by those weaker than me! I also don¡¯t listen to the insults said by those who are lacking more than me! I am Tite Rivero, the oldest daughter of the Rivero family! The most beautiful and talented woman in the Holy City! I shouted loud right there and all the people ran away. That is the foolish people who don¡¯t know the truth for you. Since I¡¯m different from those ignorant people, I laughed elegantly. I felt better. I was feeling sour just now because it was hard to walk, you see. That¡¯s right. I walked. It wasn¡¯t a stroll in the mansion¡¯s garden or in the central park of the Holy City. The hem of my expensive skirt was covered in dirt, and the soles of my precious silk shoes were tattered, but I didn¡¯t care regardless. My pretty feet appealed to me by crying in pain, and there were beads of sweat flowing down, but I didn¡¯t feel tired. Because the one I love was at the end of the road. I can¡¯t complain that I feel tired on my way to my beloved person, can I? You know, the one I love is the most beautiful and precious person in the world. I think the proverb saying what looks good in my eyes looks good in other people¡¯s eyes too is really true. Other people besides me also desired that person, you see. Fortunately, that person is my fate so even if other people desired him, they couldn¡¯t rush to approach him. The reason is that person is really, really precious that even God noticed and acknowledged his preciousness. Thanks to that, he had a clean, pure body and soul that shut him from the common young child¡¯s puppy love and the rising sexual desire of adolescence. Everything was purity arranged for me. God¡¯s consideration that protected him lost its use once he met me. Because his fated person has appeared! It means he no longer needed to have his purity! The only person for him to present his purity, the one to trigger the thread of fate! This Tite Rivero has arrived in his life! However you see. What kind of quirk of fate is this? Or is this God¡¯s jealousy? Or maybe everyone thinks it is no fun if our love is achieved so smoothly? You won¡¯t believe how many people that disturb and envy our love. Haaah. Really, no one will know. The obstacle that was jealous of us that day was the holy knights on patrol in front of the temple. The holy knights in white armor with a sword that gleamed blue light in their waists faked a cough¡ªahem¡ªand blocked me. ¡°Lady, you are prohibited from entering the temple.¡± Look at that! Does that make sense? Is that possible in this world? The temple is a space open to everyone! ¡°God¡¯s house is open for everyone. You¡¯re claiming to be God¡¯s sword, but you don¡¯t know that?¡± Do you know what the holy knights did after I said that? They gave me, this Tite Rivero, a very, very scornful look. I thought I had to immediately report this discourtesy. To whom should I report the holy knights¡¯ discourtesy? It is to their superior, the captain of the holy knight order. If I want to meet the captain, I have to enter the temple. I got another business to enter the temple besides meeting the one I love. But the holy knights didn¡¯t understand that. ¡°Move, I will go in.¡± ¡°As Lady said, the temple is an open space under the protection of God for everyone. However, it¡¯s not for Lady Rivero. Please go back. His Holiness ordered this exceptionally.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not going to meet His Holiness. I¡¯m here to meet Yohan.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t meet His Eminence. Please go back.¡± ¡°Oh my? I¡¯m sure Yohan wants to meet me.¡± I fidgeted because I wanted to meet my beloved person. It is obvious. My love was waiting for me inside this white and shining building. He was likely waiting for me for so long, but these bad holy knights were blocking me from seeing him. It was really an outrageous treatment. I even doubted if God was perhaps disturbing our love. Even though God takes care of us, humans, love is an individual¡¯s feeling, and it¡¯s a feeling greater than survival instinct, right? Interrupting love isn¡¯t something that even the demons¡¯ king or their lord will do. Conversely, I heard they encourage individual desire or love. We are in a ceasefire after a long war with the Demon Lord and are still hostile, but I think we should actively bring in and learn such good things. ¡°That is impossible.¡± Dear me. The holy knights looked at me as if looking at a crazy girl. Sending such a gaze to a visitor? Everyone would surely think they were disqualified as holy knights. CH 1.2 ¡°Oh! Look over there!¡± I pointed in another direction and pretended to discover something to turn their gazes, but it failed immediately. My, they really are uselessly quick-witted. It really made me wonder if the holy knights nowadays are chosen by their wits, not their characters. Anyway, I was caught by them when I was on my way to entering the temple, and the holy knights forcefully grabbed me! This Tite Rivero, the oldest daughter of the Rivero family, then threw me on the roadside. They were really bad! My arms were sore! How dare the holy knights that supposedly protect the weak and attentive to the lady threw away me, Tite Rivero, the most precious in the Holy Nation! ¡°Ouch!¡± ¡°Lady Rivero, please don¡¯t make us draw our swords.¡± ¡°Please go back while we are being nice.¡± When the holy knights looked down on me, people gathered and pointed at me as if it was a good excuse. ¡°Look at that. That¡¯s the crazy girl of the Rivero family.¡± Even though I didn¡¯t get hurt by the ridiculous words said by lowly people, I was embarrassed because people gathered and pointed their fingers at me. My face turned red as I was angry and at a loss, but the world is really cruel. There was no one to help me. I got up by myself and as though my left ankle was sprained when I fell, it hurt so much. Hence I shouted. ¡°My legs hurt!¡± ¡°We don¡¯t get fooled twice! Please go back!¡± ¡°She¡¯s surely the crazy girl of the Rivero family. Seems like she doesn¡¯t know what shame is.¡± ¡°She¡¯s indeed shameless.¡± ¡°She¡¯s a crazy girl, so how could she know what shame is?¡± ¡°I¡¯m scared this will be heard by His Eminence.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t heard the news? If it¡¯s about Young Lady Rivero, His Eminence will tremble, so everyone is being careful so that even the ¡®Ri¡¯ of Rivero won¡¯t reach his ears.¡± ¡°How pitiful. How could such a holy person get a crazy girl attached to him.¡± ¡°Even if she¡¯s crazy, she has to be a kind-hearted crazy. How could she dare to desire His Eminence because there is no other in her eyes.¡± All the people that surrounded me were busy slandering me. They were all of a low-key personality that drove a woman into a corner and insulted her. There was no one to help me at all. I talked once again. ¡°I can¡¯t walk because my legs hurt!¡± ¡°Shut up, witch!¡± ¡°Go away from the temple!¡± ¡°Give up on His Eminence!¡± I don¡¯t know who it was, but a very bad person threw a stone at me. Because someone did that, those stupid low people followed it, you know? Everyone didn¡¯t openly try to hit me because they were afraid of the Rivero family. Most of the stones fell to the ground around me. But some hit and some bounced off the ground and hit me. When I shouted because it was hurt, the holy knights only then moved and protected me. They are foolish and impudent people that don¡¯t know what their duty is. Although my foot was sprained, it didn¡¯t mean I couldn¡¯t walk. Therefore, I just ran straight inside the temple. Once I met my beloved inside the temple, he would heal my wounded ankle using his divine power. Alas, this time the priests stopped me. I tried to escape them, but I stopped after listening to what they said. ¡°Cardinal Yohan sent us.¡± ¡°Oh my. Did he tell you to guide me to him?¡± ¡°It was an order to keep Lady Rivero under our watch so you won¡¯t make any trouble while he contacts the House of Rivero.¡± ¡°Even if he doesn¡¯t contact my family, I will come to him whenever he calls me.¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero! Please come to your senses!¡± ¡°I am sane.¡± This is really frustrating. I¡¯m telling you that priests nowadays are also chosen without taking their characters into consideration. The priests shook their heads when I smiled and then restrained me. I became unable to do anything but breathe. In addition, my lips and tongue couldn¡¯t move, so I couldn¡¯t say anything. The holy knights moved me to an isolated place and blocked my sight. It was noisy in the temple¡¯s entrance, and there were some people leaving the temple on horses. And I saw him. The one I love, the one who loves me, my fated half, Yohan! I wanted to tell Yohan, ¡°I¡¯m here,¡± but I couldn¡¯t talk because of the restraints. Still, I earnestly told him about my presence through telepathy. We¡¯re fated, so telepathy works in this kind of close range. In fact, Yohan¡¯s eyes looked at me through the holy knights that covered me. He saw me! He saw me! I sent telepathy to him to quickly undo this restraint, hug me, put me on the horse he rides, then go to have a picnic together. But the telepathy was too long. He only rode the horse and left. The priests only loosened the restraints they put on me when he had gone far, far away from sight. Feeling heartbroken, I vented to the priests. ¡°He saw me! Why did you block me!¡± ¡°Please come to your senses, Lady. Cardinal Yohan doesn¡¯t love you!¡± ¡°No, he loves me. He fell in love with me at first sight. He unchangingly loves me with full passion ever since that very first day we met. Why doesn¡¯t everyone know that?¡± I was really frustrated. Why doesn¡¯t everyone know? He loves me hundreds and thousands more than I love him. I feel suffocated because of the love in his eyes whenever he looks at me. I feel the love that is for all humanity is driven to me. But why doesn¡¯t everyone know that? CH 1.3 He is surely waiting for me to follow him. Having such a thought, I was ready to chase after him, but everyone blocked me, telling me to wait until people from the Rivero family came. I am indeed the noble Tite Rivero, but what could I do with bullies that use their power on women? Besides, I got my ankle sprained too at that time. I eventually was detained by people from my house and put into the carriage; forced to go home. My father hit my face as soon as he saw me. I couldn¡¯t keep my balance because of my sprained ankle and fell, so he went wild even more, thinking I was acting. It was really unfair to me. ¡°You brought all the disgrace to this family! I will pluck out all of your hair!¡± He then said a ridiculous thing, you see. My blonde hair is one of the most dazzling things in the Holy Nation. But he wanted to pluck it all out? Not a chance. That night I climbed over the wall. That was the first time I climbed over the wall twice a day. From there on, I climbed it frequently. Twice? I¡¯m sure there were days when I climbed it ten times. A lot of things happened after that. Yeah, it was a story from a few years ago. Where was I? Did I tell you until I climbed the wall? I then gave money to a street kid and asked if His Eminence had returned. Luckily, he said he hadn¡¯t returned. Therefore I waited for my love to come near the temple. It¡¯s a bit sad, but I did a trick. If I waited for him openly, the bad holy knights would block me again, so I wrapped myself with a cloth and pretended to be a vagrant. There are a lot of vagrants near the temple. As you know, the war was quite long. And the truce was shot. I am originally a precious body, so I worried if it would be difficult to cover my nobility with a rag, but fortunately, maybe because I was limp, no one suspected me. Ah, I wrapped my hair in a unique way. My golden hair is one of the most dazzling things in the Holy Nation, so I would attract attention even if only one strand came out of the cloth. The cloth I picked from the street was dirty and smelly, but I endured it. I waited for my love to return like that. The cloth was dirty, my body was tired, and my ankle was hurt, but this was about waiting for my beloved person, right? I forgot the pain and disregarded the tiredness. I waited for my love like that, and finally, he was coming from a distance. His figure riding a horse was really manly. He was a cardinal, but he was cool and manly so it was believable to say he was a holy knight. The horse he rode got closer. It looked like he would go straight inside the temple on his horse, so I jumped in front of him. He immediately stopped the horse. ¡°This insolent!¡± ¡°Your Eminence! Forgive us!¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine. The vagrants are also those to be cared for by God¡¯s mercy.¡± Ta-da~! In order to surprise him, I tried to take off the rag I wore. Everyone would surely get surprised when my golden hair showed up under the dirty rag. However, Yohan was really different from others. ¡°Are you hurt any¡­ Goodness.¡± Even though I didn¡¯t take off the rag, Yohan knew that it was me under it. Since he found out, I couldn¡¯t trick him any longer. It was regrettable, but still, I didn¡¯t forget the ¡°ta-da¡±. Yohan got serious. He was likely worried about my action to jump in front of his horse. I could die if things went south. It was indeed a dangerous situation where I could get stamped on by the horse¡¯s hoofs if he was a rider lacking skill. However, I believed in Yohan¡¯s horsemanship. ¡°Young Lady¡­ Rivero¡­¡± Yohan couldn¡¯t finish his words as if he was touched by me coming to meet him. He turned his head, unable to find the words. We could talk more if it wasn¡¯t for the despicable Cardinal Jun. It was really a pity. ¡°We should¡¯ve just stepped on her.¡± ¡°Cardinal Jun, please don¡¯t say such a harsh utterance.¡± ¡°Yohan! It¡¯s me! You wanted to see me, right? I came because I also want to see you! Have you had your dinner? I haven¡¯t, so do you want to have it together?¡± ¡°It¡¯s late. It¡¯s dangerous even if it¡¯s around the temple, so please quickly go back to your home. Excuse me then,¡± Yohan quickly made the sign of the cross, then tried to get on the horse. I grabbed him. Perhaps because there were people watching around, he got embarrassed. It was really a problem because my love is very shy. We love each other and would marry someday anyway, so there is no need to keep our distance. Yet he always pays more attention to controlling his expression when he sees me. Seems like he¡¯s worried the muscles on his face will relax when he looks at me. It¡¯s comfortable to just smile like me. ¡°Please stay away!¡± The holy knights tried to separate me and him roughly. So I exerted myself. ¡°Yohan! Please punish these rude people!¡± ¡°Please don¡¯t be so harsh on her.¡± CH 2.1 ¡°Your Eminence, you should have ignored her at all. Young Lady Rivero is not sane. When dealing with such a person¡ª¡± ¡°Sir, be careful with your words. According to what you said, doesn¡¯t it sound like the cause of that vulgar behavior of Lady Rivero is from Cardinal Yohan?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t mean that! Forgive me!¡± ¡°Yohan! I love you! You love me, too, right? I know everything! You fell for me at the first sight! Don¡¯t be shy! I will feed you even if you leave the priesthood and become a penniless person!¡± ¡°¡­ She¡¯s really tedious. If this weren¡¯t for the Rivero family.¡± Cardinal Jun scowled at me. Of course Yohan wasn¡¯t someone to let him keep that kind of offensive gaze. Yohan stopped Cardinal Jun. Well, it¡¯s inevitable that Cardinal Jun hates me. Because I¡¯m the woman who made Yohan, the holy person loved by everyone, leave the priesthood. In the eyes of his fellow cardinal, would I not have been seen as a sorceress who corrupted the divinity and mission given to Yohan? ¡°¡­ Let¡¯s go back.¡± Yohan seemed to hate Cardinal Jun, his friend as well as his colleague, glaring at me, so he shook me off and got on the horse. Ah, my word choice wasn¡¯t right. It wasn¡¯t that he shook me off, but he took my hands off him strongly because he was so shy and then got on the horse. He touched where I had touched him a few times. I¡¯m sure he wanted to feel the remaining warmth from my hands on his clothes. Even if he didn¡¯t do that, my hands existed to touch him, right? I shook myself off the holy knights and ran to Yohan. I was so excited that I ended up tripping. I was embarrassed so I covered my face. The forgotten pain in my ankle rushed over. My ankle swelled hard because I kept neglecting it. It¡¯s not enough to show a slender and elegant ankle line like a deer¡¯s ankle, yet my ankle was swollen and looked like rhinoceros? I dared not to show myself in front of Yohan. ¡°Did you really get hurt?¡± ¡°We can¡¯t let her go back alone like this.¡± While the holy knights were grumbling, Yohan couldn¡¯t win against his worry for me and overcome his shyness. ¡°Heal Young Lady Rivero and let her stay overnight in the temple.¡± ¡°Cardinal Yohan!¡± ¡°This is inevitable. We can¡¯t just abandon the oldest daughter of the Rivero family.¡± ¡°That Rivero again¡­¡± ¡°She¡¯s someone who¡¯s not in her right mind. She even hurt her ankle, so as the servant of God, we can¡¯t ignore her.¡± I took a double take. How unsightly it was of me to fall that made Yohan say that? Of course I didn¡¯t doubt Yohan¡¯s heart just because of those words. Yohan loving me is a widely known fact that wouldn¡¯t change. He wouldn¡¯t tell them to treat my wound if he doesn¡¯t love me, and he wouldn¡¯t tell them to let me stay overnight in the temple if he doesn¡¯t love me, right? The female priests came and supported me. Yohan entered the deeper location in the temple with Cardinal Jun. I also wanted to follow him, but the female priests restrained me. Maybe because they are women like me, they treated me harsher than the male priests and holy knights. It was really upsetting, but I didn¡¯t get angry because I could understand their feelings. You know, right? Yohan is the most beautiful and cool man in the world. Such a man is mine only, so how envious they were. The poor are jealous of the rich, and the ugly are jealous of the beautiful people. I alone got the love of the best man in the world, so that much of ugly jealousy is nothing. The female priests didn¡¯t heal my ankle. They only lent me a space to lay down for a night and abandoned me. Ah, I wasn¡¯t abandoned. The holy knights were in guard in front of the door and windows of the room I stayed at. Wouldn¡¯t that be a measurement from Yohan, who worried about my safety? *** ¡°Still, I guess I should have gotten proper treatment back then.¡± As the lightning struck, the figure of a human monologuing was shown. Just like how she said it twice, the glittering golden hair was enough to be one of the most dazzling things in the Holy Nation. ¡°This ankle always gets sprained after that. They said it¡¯s a tendency.¡± It¡¯s been years since then though. Tite Rivero grumbled in a low voice and then asked Reese about her opinion. Reese without a doubt didn¡¯t answer her, and Tite continued her monologue. ¡°Phew, there¡¯s a lot of lightning. I¡¯m glad we arrived before the rain starts. Don¡¯t you agree?¡± Tite smiled wide. At the same time, the lightning struck. As if telling them that God was watching all the crimes done by Tite, the lightning struck relentlessly and showed the figure of Tite and Reese, who was gagged and tied in front of her. The earth quaked as if it felt pity that it could not punish Tite for her sin against God and humans. The smiling Tite was certainly beautiful. If only she wasn¡¯t crazy, the titles of the most beautiful woman in the Holy Nation, and the most shining woman in the Holy Nation, might be Tite¡¯s title, not Reese¡¯s. Alas, Tite Rivero was crazy. There was no one in the Holy Nation, in the land where humans lived who didn¡¯t know that. Tite Rivero was the most famous crazy girl, and an evil stalker. This far, there were people who got hurt by her hands, but no one died. And now, Reese would become the first casualty of the evil stalker Tite Rivero. Frightened, Reese tried hard to loosen the gag on her mouth. Rumble. The lightning struck again. The flash reflected the two. Tite didn¡¯t erase her smile as though Reese¡¯s figure was funny. ¡°Do you know about our first meeting? That day was the best day of my life. Just like this ceaseless lightning, the firecrackers and petals were prepared for me. Me, Tite Rivero. They were prepared for the meeting between me and him.¡± CH 2.2 That day was a few days after my 14th birthday. At that time, I was just an innocent girl who never imagined that I would meet the love of my life in the future. I was a child who didn¡¯t know the great value of love, and thought that I only needed to care about the glory and honor of my family. The Holy Nation was excited. It was the day of the birth of the youngest cardinal ever blessed by God, you see. Everyone believed that the youngest cardinal would bring about an end, not a ceasefire, and people sang a day of peace that they didn¡¯t know when it would come. A man born under the blessing of God. A man, who is the youngest priest ever, to become the youngest cardinal ever. The holy man who will surely be the Holy Father in the future. That was the common idea of those who saw Yohan. Foolish people. Yohan eventually is a boy who loves a girl, though. No one knew his true feelings. Not only his fellow cardinal, but also the Holy Father, who raised him like his biological parent, did not know the possibility of love in him. People are so cruel, aren¡¯t they? It was a celebration party for the accession of the cardinal who might become the pope in the future. It was natural for the Rivero family to participate. My father said that now that I¡¯m 14, I get an honorable chance to join this kind of social gathering. My father regretted that he shouldn¡¯t have taken me, but well? We¡¯re meant to be, so even if it wasn¡¯t for the party, we would meet somewhere someday. Then we would surely fall in love at first sight. I know. I can tell. It is because we fell in love at first sight that day. Our eyes met. I knew it at that moment. It¡¯s love. So this is love. This is what love is like. If this is not love, then what is love? If the feelings I have toward that person and the feelings that he thinks of me were not love, nothing in the world would have been love. We made eye contact, and at that moment my eyes and his eyes shook. Two pairs of eyes that met and shook. It¡¯s love, right? I¡¯ve never made a bet, but you can bet on it. We fell in love at first sight. A great joy that I had never felt before enveloped me. The fate was right at that place! Fate led me to him! I got goosebumps and shivered. Oh my goodness. How could I live for 14 years without knowing that he existed in the world? I had that question there. The world is meaningless without him and I couldn¡¯t live without him. Fate made us meet. I, of course, moved as fate led me. ¡°Young Lady Rivero, you¡¯re rude!¡± ¡°Stop her!¡± ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡± There was a hindrance in my way to him. Those were nasty obstacles. Of course, my love stopped such mean people. ¡°Haha, Young Lady Rivero seems to have lost her mind because she fell for His Eminence¡¯s beauty.¡± ¡°My daughter is still lacking because she is young. I¡¯m sorry, Your Eminence. Tite, apologize for your rudeness.¡± People who didn¡¯t know anything talked about him and me. Rudeness? Manners aren¡¯t needed between us. No, that¡¯s not it. We have to be more polite because we love each other! I then immediately greeted him politely as the adults around me taught me. Everyone smiled at us. I think it was the first and last day that people smiled at us being together. ¡°Nice to meet you, Young Lady Rivero.¡± He smiled at me. It was such a sweet, sacred smile. ¡°I heard it was your birthday a few days ago. Blessing of the Holy God to you.¡± He said that meeting me was a blessing of the Holy God. It was embarrassing for others to hear, but it¡¯s okay. Because I knew. I knew it the moment our eyes met. That he fell for me. I was really happy. You know what, I fell for him, too! It was not just the eyes. From the moment I made eye contact with him, my eyes, nose, mouth, ears, and touch. All the senses I could perceive were directed at him. The slightly open lips, a quick breath, and the gaze that didn¡¯t move away from me. Everything was clear. He has a crush on me. I have a crush on him. We will be the happiest couple in the world. I was sure. His love for me will remain unchanged even if this world is destroyed. If you ask me why, that is because he poured out that huge love for all mankind on me alone. All the merciful feelings that God gave him were directed at me. I was happy and excited, but never conceited. It wasn¡¯t vanity. It really wasn¡¯t. He made the sign of the cross and I took his hand. His hands trembled. The racing of his heart was transmitted through his veins. He trembled. I knew everything. As soon as he was born, he grew up in the Temple, not in the secular society, and was raised in isolation from these emotions and desires. So how strange and scary must it have been to have a crush on me? Even though I was two years younger than him, I knew more about love than him. I was rightly responsible for leading him. So I said, ¡°You fell for me, didn¡¯t you?¡± It wasn¡¯t arrogance at all. ¡°I know everything. I love you, too.¡± I told him the truth. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about making a living even if you leave the Temple. I have a lot of money.¡± I guess I shouldn¡¯t have said the last word. I must have touched his pride as a man. Yohan pulled out his hand from me, and my father slapped me on the cheek before I said anything. For the first time in my life, my father slapped me. CH 2.3 I understand him. It must have been amazing to have a fourteen-year-old daughter who had eyes on a priest as her bridegroom. There is no discrimination against the priest that leaves the priesthood, but it is not seen as a good thing, right? He must have been frustrated to bring in a man, who knows nothing about the world because he only lives in the Temple and has no other job or talent, as the eldest son-in-law of the Rivero family. He must have blamed me for choosing the groom on my own accord. There was someone stopping my father from scolding me again. Who do you think it was? Of course it was Yohan. It must have been heartbreaking to see a loved one being scolded by her parents in front of his eyes. Well deservedly, Yohan stepped up to stop it. ¡°Senator Rivero. Please stop it.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know my child could be this rude¡­¡± ¡°That¡¯s all right. It¡¯s a mistake that can be made by young girls.¡± ¡°I really have nothing to say.¡± ¡°I¡¯m ashamed to brag, but there are many young ladies who have fallen in love with me.¡± That was natural. Yohan was a 16-year-old beautiful boy at the time, you see. People of all ages and both sexes fell in love with him for the charm of a man who was just growing up. But you know what? Even though there are so many people who have a crush on him in this Holy Nation, the one he has a crush on is only me. It is only me, Tite Rivero. It¡¯ll be like that in the future as well. Yohan smiled at me. Come to think of it, the first day I met him and the next few days were the only days he smiled at me. Perhaps it was difficult to manage his expression because he was happy and excited to hear that the person he fell in love with at first sight had the same feeling as him. But after that, he was good at managing his expression. I¡¯m drifting off topic. Anyway, Yohan smiled at me. He spoke kindly and gracefully. ¡°Young Lady Rivero. I appreciate the love that you have for me. However, I¡¯m a fool who devoted his life to the clergy. I don¡¯t deserve your heart, so please take it back.¡± ¡°You can just quit.¡± ¡°Tite, you really!¡± ¡°Young Lady, the cardinal is not an easy position to quit.¡± ¡°I believe even the pope can return to secular life. God will not be angry. We¡¯re meant to be, after all.¡± ¡°Tite!¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero. You are still young, so you¡¯re confused between admiration and love. You misunderstood your wonder for the blessing the god gave me as a feeling to me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to kiss God nor I want to hug him. You are like that, too, right, Your Eminence? And, I¡¯m not that young. I¡¯m only two years apart from¡ªmmrf!¡± My father and mother blocked my mouth. I managed to get their hands off my mouth because I had more to say. ¡°You love me, don¡¯t you? You fell for me! So am I! I fell at the first¡ªmmmrrf!¡± I was dragged out by my parents. I saw him until the last minute. So was he. He couldn¡¯t take his eyes off me until the last minute. I couldn¡¯t see his eyes because rude people immediately surrounded him, but I¡¯m sure he couldn¡¯t take his eyes off me until the end. I know. I was confined in my room like that. My father and mother declared a month-long curfew and I ended up copying letters of apology and scriptures ten times. It was easy to copy the scriptures. I was already able to memorize and recite it, so I could just write it, not copy it. The problem was the letter of apology. I didn¡¯t know what I did wrong, so I racked my brain. Even the maid who brought me a meal only said I was wrong and didn¡¯t tell me what I did wrong. When I asked what I did wrong, everyone looked like, ¡°are you asking because you don¡¯t know?¡± I felt really wronged. It was the first time my parents scolded me like that, so I couldn¡¯t think I did nothing wrong. I was really a naive kid back then. So I believed I did something wrong and thought hard about what it was. After a few days of suffering, I finally found out my fault. I¡¯m telling you I realized my fault. I made a really big mistake, you see. I have committed an unspeakable disrespect to Cardinal Yohan. After the long curfew, I decided to meet Yohan in person and apologize for my rudeness. My parents were very happy with my decision and hardly prepared an appointment for me and him to meet. I was on my way to apologize, so I dressed up as neatly as I could and met him. He didn¡¯t hide his smile because he was happy to meet me. ¡°Welcome, Young Lady Rivero.¡± ¡°Hello, Your Eminence. I¡¯m here to apologize for the rudeness I¡¯ve committed.¡± ¡°Can it be called rude? It¡¯s a cute mistake that young girls often make. I have no intention to reproach you, Young Lady. You don¡¯t have to ask for forgiveness. I¡¯ve already forgiven you.¡± CH 2.4 Yohan crossed the sign and prayed briefly. I was overwhelmed by the unique elegance and beauty of a man who had been a cleric since birth. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t know back then. About the fact that he tried to push me. In retrospect, his hand crossing the sign was unusually firm. He built a wall between me and him, and seemed to mark a stigma on his own chest. Would it have been easier to convince him if I had noticed it then? I used to feel such regret sometimes when I got a little older, but what can I do? It¡¯s already irreversible. Back then, I was Young Lady Rivero like I am now, but it is also true that I was only a 14-year-old girl who was just in love. ¡°You¡¯ve been living in the Temple since you were born blessed by God, haven¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Yes. I, not knowing about life outside of the Temple and much lacking, am not sure if I may be able to fulfill the cardinal¡¯s duties, but yes, you¡¯re right.¡± ¡°You must have been in trouble because you don¡¯t know much about the outside.¡± ¡°Considering my position, I¡¯m going to find out gradually. With the help of people I¡¯m grateful for like you.¡± ¡°Yes, I will help you.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°It was really rude of me to suddenly suggest leaving the priesthood. The future you¡¯ve had in mind is completely different from the environment you¡¯ve lived in, but I suddenly acted in a hurry. You should have time to think too, but I guess I was only thinking about myself.¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero?¡± When I brought up about leaving the priesthood, the smile disappeared from his face. He must have been at a loss again at the thought of leaving the Temple. I understood his worries and conflicts, and at the same time I wanted to ease his burden. ¡°But I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be able to adjust quickly. I will help you. You¡¯ll be happier than when you¡¯re in the priesthood. I guarantee you. We love each other, after all.¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero, let go.¡± His voice trembled. The hand I grabbed trembled like electricity was flowing. My heart was pounding. So did his heart. He forced his hand out of me. His face was red. He must have been very embarrassed. His voice became lower and lower. It was unstable because it was just after his voice changed, but it sounded sweet to me. I looked forward to the day when he would be honest with me. One day he¡¯ll give me back the sweet nothing I¡¯m whispering now. It was exciting just imagining it. ¡°When would be a good time to get married? It¡¯s better after you settle down, right? How much time do you need to clear your mind?¡± ¡°Young Lady, I don¡¯t love you.¡± ¡°Lie.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t even marry you.¡± ¡°Lie.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t quit my job.¡± Yohan¡¯s face slowly hardened as I saw through his lies. That¡¯s right. Everything Yohan said was a lie. A downright lie. There¡¯s no way Yohan doesn¡¯t love me. He wants to marry me. I¡¯m telling you he will leave priesthood one day because he loves me. Yohan loves Tite. I was confident that I knew the never-changing truth. ¡°If it¡¯s difficult for you to leave, I won¡¯t insist on getting married. Yes, it¡¯ll be a disgrace to the family, but I¡¯m fine being your mistress.¡± ¡°Lady Tite Rivero! Get out of this room right now!¡± ¡°Call me Tite, Yohan.¡± He got up and opened the door himself to help me get out. Oh my. Is there anyone else who has been treated like that by the Cardinal except the Holy Father? That¡¯s how important I was to him. We only met once at his celebration and we hadn¡¯t seen each other for a month, but his feelings for me haven¡¯t changed. I left quietly because I knew he needed time. I asked when we would like to meet next time instead. He closed the door without answering, perhaps he was shy. Instead, a letter arrived to my parents. It said that I need strict parental supervision because I¡¯m completely deluded. What? Deluded? It was really weird. Because from the day the letter arrived, everyone who saw me was talking in unison. ¡°Cardinal Yohan does not love Tite Rivero.¡± How could people be so deluded? It was so rude that I was angry. I am not deluding myself. They are. People were clearly mistaking that he doesn¡¯t love me. It all came from his perfect trick. I was a little hurt, but I understood him. I forgave him generously. Because Yohan lived with everyone¡¯s expectations on him. Yohan. The Cardinal, Yohan. The Pope in the future, Yohan. A noble man. A holy man. The hope of mankind blessed by the Holy God. It is said an oracle of God was given when he was born. Therefore, the Holy Father himself visited his house and brought Yohan to the Temple to raise him. Humanity has fought the demons for a long time. Several kingdoms disappeared during the long war and they remained as Houses, united under the Temple and became the Holy Nation. There have been several ceasefires, but there has been no end of war. Old people don¡¯t even remember when the perfect peace was. Humanity is tired of war and afraid of when the ceasefire will end. And that¡¯s how Yohan came to us. A person blessed by God. Someone who will bring the end of the war to mankind in the future. Many people had high hopes for Yohan. People wanted him to be the hope of mankind and he was forced to be such a man from birth. It was a heavy burden and expectation, which was unparalleled by me, who would take over the Rivero family in the future. Yohan is a faithful person, so he couldn¡¯t betray that expectation. Even if it¡¯s for love. We definitely love each other, but our love doesn¡¯t take responsibility for other people¡¯s happiness. That he can¡¯t move at will even if he loves me¡ªI understand it. I understand. Therefore, I gave up the most precious thing to a girl in love. You know what that is, right? Yeah, it¡¯s a marriage. CH 2.5 I knew how disgraceful it was for the eldest daughter of the prestigious Rivero family to remain a priest¡¯s mistress. But I love him, and he loves me, and it was inevitable if he couldn¡¯t escape from his duties. In the distant future, if he really brings an end to the war for mankind, we can get married then. After fulfilling his duties, he won¡¯t be able to refuse my proposal. I visited Yohan again. I said I changed my mind. Yohan let me in the room saying this is the last time. I had a hard time holding back my laughter. The last time? Is that possible between us? How can it be our last time when he loves me as well as I love him. At the same time, I was sad. He was only a 16-year-old boy, but he seemed overwhelmed by his position as the hope for mankind. He acted as if he had given up his happiness for the sake of mankind. He was brainwashing himself that he has to serve mankind all his entire life. That doesn¡¯t make sense. I mean, he has me, the gift from fate. I¡¯m sure I was born as a gift from the Holy God who felt sorry for him. I was born so that he, who bears the heavy burden named the hope of mankind, could smile and be happy. Yohan didn¡¯t smile as if he¡¯s used to controlling his expression. He didn¡¯t even offer me tea. I was fine, though. I knew what I was going to say would be a painful story for him as well as me. ¡°I thought really hard, Your Eminence.¡± ¡°I hope it was a fruitful endeavor, Young Lady.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine even if we don¡¯t get married. I¡¯m fine with being your mistress. I¡¯m sorry for my parents, but I can¡¯t help it because you have an important mission.¡± ¡°It was not fruitful.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just the two of us. When it¡¯s just the two of us, you don¡¯t need to try hard to act.¡± ¡°I told you this is the last time, Young Lady.¡± His voice trembled as he said that. He looked determined as if he was sincerely drawing a line that it would be our last. But even if he can fool others, he can¡¯t fool me. His will not to see me was sublime, but it was impossible. The reason is because he loves me. ¡°I know everything. You love me.¡± ¡°There¡¯s a limit in tolerating you just because you¡¯re young.¡± ¡°I knew it the moment our eyes met. Just as I fell in love with you, you also fell in love with me.¡± Yohan¡¯s eyes shook. He closed his eyes as if he was trying to hide his trembling. He looked lovely. ¡°Being a mistress is enough. It¡¯s not common, but it¡¯s not like it¡¯s not unprecedented. Instead, when the war ends, you can marry me later. I also can understand that you can¡¯t come to me often if you¡¯re busy¡ª¡± ¡°Is no one there? Take Young Lady Rivero back to her family!¡± He asked for help from someone else as if it was hard to overcome his love for me. I spoke to him. ¡°Don¡¯t turn away from loving me! Accept it! I really don¡¯t mind being your mistress! It hurts my feelings, but I can bear it because I love you!¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero. I wish we won¡¯t meet in this way again.¡± The priests came in and grabbed me. The way they treated me was so different from before he fell in love with me. They knew it, too. That I¡¯m a horrible person who can make him leave the priesthood. Yohan is a valuable figure in the Temple, so it was natural that the Temple wanted to kick me out for trying to take him away. The rumor soon spread. It was a rumor that I fell for him. The rumor said I went crazy because I fell in love too deeply. I expected another rumor to follow, rather than the rumor saying I was crazy. It was the rumor that he has a crush on me. But what is this? There was a false rumor circulating as though the Temple covered his mouth. They said he doesn¡¯t love me. They said I¡¯m crazy because I love him. The latter was not wrong. Love was kind of like madness. But the former, it made me angry because it¡¯s a lie that doesn¡¯t make sense. My parents banned me from going out again and I couldn¡¯t go to him because it was indefinite. I drew his face every night, enjoying the moonlight and starlight coming through the window. My beloved one must be missing me like this just like me. Maybe he was crying because he was sad that he had to stay away from me because of his mission as mankind¡¯s hope. Thinking like that made me think I shouldn¡¯t just remain a helpless 14-year-old girl. I decided that I had to be stronger for the person I love. I realized that I should become an adult who has an obligation to make my loved one happy, not a 14-year-old girl who didn¡¯t know anything and listened to her parents well. *** The rain, which was only showing signs but yet not fallen, finally fell. The rain poured down like a waterfall in summer. It was heavy rain. Tite was happy listening to the sound of rain outside. ¡°Thank goodness. My footprints are going to disappear.¡± ¡°Mmrff.¡± Reese couldn¡¯t take her eyes off Tite, shedding tears. Tite Rivero was more beautiful than she had ever heard and she was possessed by madness more than she had ever heard. Reese couldn¡¯t take her eyes off Tite because she was scared. Reese¡¯s eyes were fixed on Tite when she witnessed a scary person beyond means. She felt like the dagger in Tite¡¯s hand would hurt her if she looked away. Tite Rivero. The eldest daughter of the prestigious Rivero family. But this was what best described her. A mad woman in love. Other than that, there were no words to describe Tite Rivero. It wasn¡¯t like Tite Rivero was crazy from the start. Until one day at the age of 14, Tite Rivero was said to have the dignity and grace of the eldest daughter of the prestigious Rivero family. Her life changed 180 degrees when she met Cardinal Yohan on her 14th birthday. Tite Rivero fell in love at first sight with Cardinal Yohan, a man two years older. This was not unusual because there were many young girls who loved Cardinal Yohan, who had excellent beauty and character. However, Tite Rivero did not stop at trivial love expressions such as writing love letters or sending handkerchiefs, and she ended up falling into madness. She really believed her delusion that Cardinal Yohan fell in love with her at first sight. Tite Rivero had turned into a vicious stalker chasing the cardinal, abandoning the appearance of a daughter of the prestigious family. From a 14-year-old girl to an 18-year-old young woman, Tite¡¯s madness did not get better and turned even severe. Maybe today Tite Rivero would kill somebody. The monumental first victim was likely to be Reese. ¡°Hmmrfp.¡± Reese cried silently. Reese called out the name of the one she loved inside as she couldn¡¯t make a sound because she was gagged. ¡®Sir Yohan, please save me.¡¯ Will someone come to my rescue if the rain stops, the clouds clears, and the day breaks? All Reese, who was tied up, could do was indefinitely wait and listen to Tite¡¯s delusion. CH 3.1 The curfew was lifted three months later. For three months, I wrote letters to Yohan and sent him gifts. If all the letters I wrote were collected, I guess I could bind a book? Meanwhile, I thought about what I could do for Yohan. And I found it out. Yohan is not free until the war is over. He can¡¯t even love me at will. So the way I can help him is to help the war end. But it wouldn¡¯t take that long if the war could end so easily, would it? Would it drag for long until the kingdoms disappeared and the royal families became a member of the senate? It¡¯s not that easy for a 14-year-old girl to end, is it? Fortunately, I was Tite Rivero. Yes! I am the eldest daughter of the Rivero family. The eldest daughter of the prestigious Rivero family, ex-royalty Rivero! If I had been born 200 years ago, I would have been Queen of Rivero. Although the kingdom disappeared, the royal family still retained its old wealth and power. While in formality we are united under the Holy Nation as a member of the upper assembly, the royal family retained its authority. It was the same with military force. Look at the Knights and Mages of the Rivero family. They lost their honor of the past, but they were as sharp as a knife sharpened for a long time. They were always preparing for war and waiting for the day to avenge their past. I actively helped them. I supported them. It wasn¡¯t only them. If it helps to end the war with victory, I would even use my own money to help. People praised me. The first daughter of the Rivero family. A princess who knows what honor is. I was quite busy, but I didn¡¯t forget the letters and gifts for Yohan. I tried to visit the Temple and meet Yohan even though I was so tired. Yohan didn¡¯t meet me as though he worried I would be overworked. It must be because he was worried that if I met him, his resolution would be shaken and I would come to see him without taking a break. I¡¯m sure of it. As though my actions paid off, the Holy Father called me. I came to him with a trembling heart. If you ask me why, it was because His Holiness was like a parent who raised His Eminence, so he was like my father-in-law. What if he doesn¡¯t like me as a daughter-in-law¡ªI was so worried. His Holiness praised my actions. He said it was wise of me if what I did was to cover up the scandalous thing a few months ago. That made me wonder. Scandalous? I swear on my family name, it never happened. ¡°What do you mean by scandalous, Your Holiness?¡± ¡°Oh my. I dug out a past a young lady wants to forget.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have such a past.¡± I was taken aback, so I wanted to resolve the misunderstanding quickly. It¡¯s obvious, isn¡¯t it? Not anyone else, but His Holiness the Pope misunderstood me as having a scandalous past. It was really troubling if the Pope¡¯s misunderstanding interfered with my relationship with Yohan. To prove my innocence, I kneeled and honestly confessed in front of His Holiness. ¡°Your Holiness, the only person I love is Cardinal Yohan. No other man has appeared in my life besides him.¡± His Holiness didn¡¯t seem to really believe me. How did I know? His benevolent expression had hardened. ¡°Young Lady Rivero. I¡¯d like to ask you. Are you thinking you are in a deep relationship with Cardinal Yohan?¡± ¡°There was no physical relationship between the man and woman that you are worried about. We¡¯re pure and if you wish, we¡¯ll keep a pure relationship until he quits the priesthood. He loves me, and I also love him, but I will persevere for the sake of God and humanity.¡± ¡°Oh my God, Young Lady.¡± It should be me to say ¡®oh my God.¡¯ His Holiness suddenly opposed our relationship. Even the reason was ridiculous, so the exclamation just popped out. ¡°Cardinal Yohan doesn¡¯t love you.¡± He said Yohan doesn¡¯t love me! It was so baffling that I burst into laughter even though I was in front of the Pope. Can you believe that? I can¡¯t believe he said Yohan doesn¡¯t love me. No one could say that if they saw how he stared at me. No one would say that if they saw him when he made eye contact with me. They could never have said that if they knew him the moment he first saw me. His Holiness raised Yohan like his own son, but he must have been a stranger. He didn¡¯t know much about Yohan. Thus, I told His Holiness that Yohan is a 16-year-old boy and a human being who can feel love for a beautiful girl like me. His Holiness affirmed my opinion. But he insisted to the end as if it was an old man¡¯s stubbornness. ¡°What you say is right, Young Lady Rivero. Cardinal Yohan is a man before he is a servant of God. He can love someone and have lust. But Young Lady Rivero, Cardinal Yohan doesn¡¯t see you that way.¡± ¡°No. He loves me. I hope the war ends soon. Then he¡¯ll pack his luggage and admit his feelings for me honestly. For that, I can wait even if I become a grandmother.¡± I said that, then what did the Holy Father say? ¡°Oh, my God.¡± Really. I was the one who should have said, ¡®Oh, my God.¡¯ CH 3.2 While I was in the Temple, I wanted to meet Yohan. But I couldn¡¯t meet Yohan because His Holiness ordered me to go home right away. Instead, I grabbed a priest and asked him to tell Yohan that I wanted to meet him. The priest didn¡¯t answer and just stared at me. Poor thing. I decided not to hate the priest. Because even at that moment, Yohan was fighting fiercely with the desire to leave the priesthood because of me. When I went back home, my parents called me. They advised me to stop supporting the family¡¯s mages and knights. They also told me to let go of the things I was learning little by little. They told me my younger siblings would continue what I used to do. I told them that they couldn¡¯t do such a difficult job because they were still young, but my parents said they would be fine. Then my parents recommended that I go on a trip. Asking: is there any place you want to go? They told me to rest for a while in a place with good air and water. ¡°What do you mean rest? There¡¯s no time for rest when I¡¯m busy preparing for a war that may break out at any time.¡± ¡°Tite¡­ I beg you, please. Stay away from the capital for a while. Go and get your thoughts straight.¡± ¡°Father, mother, why do you look at me like that? I¡¯m Tite. Tite Rivero. I¡¯m your proud eldest daughter.¡± ¡°Yes, Tite. You were our proud daughter. So please, I beg you. Leave the capital for a while and come back as a proud daughter again.¡± Their opinions were so stubborn that I couldn¡¯t win against them. So I decided to go on a trip for a while. I met some friends I had been distant before I went on a trip. They were polite and good-natured boys and girls from prestigious families who were suitable to be friends of the Rivero family¡¯s eldest daughter. They welcomed me like they did when we first met. It was really nice to meet my friends after a long time. I reflected on myself for being distracted by love and neglecting friendship for a while. My friends gently grabbed my hand and said, ¡°Tite, we understand how you feel about His Eminence. He¡¯s such a beautiful, holy and wonderful person. He is also kind. However, Tite, even if your feeling is true, you should know how to hide it if it hurts him. That¡¯s consideration for the person you love and real love.¡± I didn¡¯t want to argue with my friends I hadn¡¯t seen in a long time. But the topic of conversation they wanted was something I couldn¡¯t back down. After all, it was a story about our love that I should never give up. ¡°Love is a beautiful thing. Why do I have to hide it?¡° ¡°Because your love is harmful to him.¡± ¡°His Eminence loves me. Why is it harmful when we both love each other?¡± ¡°Tite¡­ He¡¯s a priest.¡± ¡°There are many priests with mistresses. I told him I¡¯m fine even if I stay as his mistress. We can get married later once he retires.¡± ¡°Tite. You don¡¯t understand. Forcing a one-sided feeling is like rape.¡± It was my friends who didn¡¯t understand. If by any chance. If we¡¯re destined to be together, but ¡ªthough this wouldn¡¯t happen¡ª he were a man with a family, then I¡¯d hide my love. He and I love each other for sure, but we can¡¯t destroy a decent family. But Yohan and I were a young man and woman without a partner. We loved each other so much. But they told me to hide my love, that¡¯s weird. Forcing a one-sided feeling is like rape? My love is not a crime. Our love is not something to hide. Our love is pure. It¡¯s not ugly. A boy and a girl fell in love at first sight. Is there such a fateful encounter in the world? My friends kept telling me to hide our relationship, which should have been widely known and deserves to be blessed. Why would I do that? I couldn¡¯t understand my friends. ¡°Tite, if you insist on your love for the Cardinal, we won¡¯t be your friends. Are you okay with that?¡± Oh, really. It really broke my heart when my friends whom I thought would last my whole life said that. But I hid it. I shouldn¡¯t have been caught. If the great Tite Rivero cried about this, everyone would think I¡¯m ridiculous. ¡°I love you guys so much. But I love Yohan more than you guys. I can¡¯t breathe without him. Don¡¯t stop my love.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not telling you to stop your love. I¡¯m telling you to hide, conceal and not reveal it. We also love him. So Tite, let¡¯s just watch him from afar together.¡± My friends were completely mistaken. My friends and I were in different situations. ¡°It¡¯s natural that His Eminence doesn¡¯t love you guys. I¡¯m different. His Eminence loves me.¡± My friends stood up one by one without a word and left me quietly. I found out that my friendship with them was over and I cried because I was a little sad. I was taken aback to learn on the day of departure that I could not return to the capital for a long time because my parents decided on the itinerary peremptorily. Oh, my God, 1 year? I couldn¡¯t believe I wouldn¡¯t be able to come back to the capital for so long and see him. It was heartbreaking. I was fine. But what about him? What about Yohan? How painful would it be for him, who was trapped in the Temple with the heaviest burden of all mankind and repeating his boring daily life, to find out later that I was going to a faraway place? CH 3.3 He must have been fine when I was in the capital. Although he can¡¯t see me, it¡¯s close by. But what if I stay away from the capital? What on earth would soothe Yohan if the only comfort disappeared from a close distance? Who can understand his loneliness, his anguish, his love? When I left the capital, Yohan must have been in agony every day, suppressing his desire to follow me. It must be his soul to be shorn in the midst of it. That hurted me. I didn¡¯t worry about his change of heart. Yohan can¡¯t love anyone but me. I was just heartbroken that he would spend each day grieving and missing me. It is natural, of course. The person I love would surely be unhappy, so how could I be happy by myself? After thinking about it all night, I decided to give him a token to replace me. I cut some of my brilliant blonde hair and put it in a locket. It was a great token that could remind him of me anytime. I prepared the token, but the problem was giving it. I heard that the Temple burned all my letters and gifts. It must be a low act done by the priests who were jealous of our relationship, and worried about Yohan leaving. It was sad that His Holiness played a part in it. Yohan was not free from other people¡¯s eyes, so for him to keep my gift, I had to give it to him when it was just the two of us. If I gave the gift when there were other people, someone would steal or take the gift away for a reason that he didn¡¯t need it. Poor Yohan wouldn¡¯t be able to refute it and he would give it away. And he would be sad alone on a night when there was no one around. How could I hand over the token in front of others when I could clearly figure him like that? I was wondering if I should give up the locket. Then! I had an extraordinary idea. I couldn¡¯t hide my excitement and immediately took action. I¡¯m telling you once again, it was the day of my departure. I went to the Temple under the pretext of praying to the god for a smooth trip. The eyes looking at me weren¡¯t kind as I went to the Temple. As I told people, I prayed to the god and left the Temple. So everyone was relieved. I knew Yohan¡¯s schedule. I knew he was going out that day. Oh my, don¡¯t look at me like that. I¡¯m not a stalker. Yohan is famous and there are many eyes that watch his every move. With a little effort, I bet everyone will know his schedule for a month. I lied that I would say farewell to my friend and left the guard behind. Then I climbed a tall tree near the road. I hid myself among the leaves and waited for Yohan. I wonder how long I waited for him. Yohan rode his horse past the road. At that time, I scattered the prepared gift. Yes, I scattered it. I cut my golden hair, which I had grown preciously for 14 years, and cut a bunch of shining golden strands into small pieces and put it in a box. Then I scattered it on Yohan. The golden rain fell gently from the sky. The soft wind whirled gold hair and a group of glittering threads landed on Yohan. Yohan was as beautiful as a fairy dancing between the golden powder and the golden thread. He made eye contact with me on the tree and his eyes shook as expectedly. I smiled broadly. Because I wanted him to remember my smiling face. Is there a more beautiful sight than that? Probably not. ¡°Arrrggh!¡± ¡°That crazy girl! She really!¡± ¡°Your Eminence! Are you all right?!¡± ¡°Get her out of here right now!¡± ¡°Ptui! What¡¯s this?¡± ¡°Hair? It¡¯s hair!¡± ¡°Oh, my God. It¡¯s all over me. It¡¯s really a deal to shake this off.¡± The priests and the holy knights tried to force me down from the tree. Yohan didn¡¯t look at me because he was surprised. He couldn¡¯t take his eyes off my scattered hair on his body with his lips slightly open. I wasn¡¯t upset at all because I knew he was doing it on purpose. I rather laughed because I was happy that the surprise gift was successful. ¡°Yohan! It¡¯s a gift! When you miss me, look at it!¡± ¡°Get that crazy girl out of here! Hurry up!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much! My hair grows fast!¡± ¡°Everyone, don¡¯t put in unnecessary effort. Let¡¯s get back to the Temple.¡± Yohan was thankful for the present, but it seemed like he didn¡¯t like how I cut my hair short. He spoke bluntly and turned away from me. He went back to the Temple with the priests and the holy knights like that. My blonde hair remained glittering on the ground like fairy dust along the path he traveled. It flew somewhere when the wind blew. The people from my family dragged me, who was laughing in a good mood. My father slapped me as soon as I entered the house and the trip was canceled. My father locked me in the basement of the mansion, barefooted in a basic dress. It was really cold there. There were rats, bugs, and I didn¡¯t know whether it was day or night because it was humid, and dark without a window. Anyway, it was far from the place with good air and water that my parents said. The meal was thin porridge once a day. I was hungry and cold. Actually, I¡¯m still curious now. Did my father try to kill me? Did he really intend to kill me? Yeah, I¡¯m alive, so I shouldn¡¯t have that question. Because I survived. Because I¡¯m alive CH 3.4 When the sun goes down and it is dark everywhere, the time for everyone to sleep, I lay on my bed, open my eyes, and stare at the darkness. There are times when I¡¯m doubting if I actually am still stuck in the basement and that all of this is my delusion, or that I¡¯m really crazy, as others say. Don¡¯t look at me like that. I¡¯m really fine, okay? I vividly remember both the day I was trapped in the basement and the day I came out. The first day in the basement, no one came to see me. For the next 15 days, the only visitor was an old maid who brought porridge once a day. I couldn¡¯t even wash up and was left unattended. The old maid said I made a big mistake. She threatened me that this time my father wouldn¡¯t forgive me easily even if I asked for forgiveness. I was scared. Of course, I¡¯m Tite Rivero of the Rivero family. I¡¯m a versatile Young Lady Rivero, but I was also a young daughter of my parents. Not only was I worried about my father being so angry, but I was also intimidated by a bad environment I had never experienced before. I stayed alone in the cold darkness and organized my thoughts. If the old maid is right, I must have done something wrong. Let¡¯s figure it out and ask my father for forgiveness. However, I couldn¡¯t figure out what I did wrong. Is there something wrong with the way I gave him the gift? Did the Temple warn him because it was such a very surprising gift that they thought it was a cardinal assassination? But how can a powerless 14-year-old girl break through the holy knights and the priests, then assassinate His Eminence, God¡¯s blessed cardinal? Moreover, the girl loves the boy? It seems like there are people in the world who want to kill their loved ones because they love them so much. But my love wasn¡¯t like that. My love is love that wishes for the happiness of my loved person. At the same time, it is love that wishes for our happiness. Yohan and I are inseparable, so it is meaningless if we aren¡¯t together. So why would I kill him? However, people look away from the truth and only see what they want to see. I didn¡¯t know that there might be someone who misunderstood my love with such a vicious heart. Someone might have told my father that I was trying to assassinate Cardinal Yohan. If I was trapped because of that, I should say it¡¯s all a misunderstanding. That¡¯s what I thought. My mother came to visit me on the 16th day since I was trapped in the basement. Instead of the old maid, my mother stepped into the cold, dirty basement with the thin porridge. ¡°Tite, ask for forgiveness from your father. Say you won¡¯t do it again.¡± ¡°Mother, I didn¡¯t try to assassinate His Eminence.¡± ¡°Tite. That¡¯s not it. Your fault is not that.¡± ¡°If not, I¡¯ve done nothing wrong.¡° ¡°Tite! Don¡¯t you really know what you¡¯ve committed?!¡± ¡°I really don¡¯t know. If you know, please tell this unaware daughter, Mother.¡± I kneeled before my mother and begged. My mother told me that every act I showed him was wrong. That he doesn¡¯t love me. That I¡¯m staining our family names. I cried. ¡°I love Yohan and Yohan also loves me. Why do you doubt our relationship? Did I tarnish the family¡¯s name for being so immoral? Mother, trust me. Nothing happened between us.¡± ¡°Of course! Of course nothing happened! Who in the world would doubt your relationship with His Eminence! Who doesn¡¯t know you¡¯re pure! Would His Eminence put a finger on your body?¡± ¡°Why do you do that if you know?¡± ¡°Tite. My lovely daughter, please. His Eminence does not love you. He doesn¡¯t have any feelings for you. No, he probably loathes you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure he loves me dear.¡± ¡°Tite¡­ my wise and gentle daughter. What did blur your intelligent reason and make you blind¡­¡± ¡°Those who fall in love is blind.¡± My mother sobbed silently and left the basement. I ate cold porridge. The bland porridge tasted bitter and salty because of my tears. The next day, my mother came back. My mother brought a basin with warm water and washed me herself. She washed my injured feet because I was stepping barefoot on the stone floor of the basement and wiped my face that was stained because I couldn¡¯t wash for many days. I almost cried because my mother¡¯s kindness and motherhood that treated me like a child reminded me of the hard life in the basement. ¡°Tite. This mother understands how you feel. Which woman can forget a man like His Eminence? He¡¯s so beautiful and kind. You are not the only girl in the capital who falls for him. Some of them abstain from eating and drinking. I also heard that there is a girl who barely woke up after suffering a lingering illness. It¡¯s different from you, but they also suffered from a fever of love like you. Tite, love is such a scary and dangerous thing.¡± ¡°Oh, poor thing.¡± I couldn¡¯t help but sympathize when I thought of the girls, who were abstaining from food and drink or were sick in bed because they fell for Yohan. I was so sorry for them. They love Yohan so passionately, but their love can¡¯t come true. Because Yohan loves me! CH 3.5 ¡°Tite. They don¡¯t behave as lightly as you do. They don¡¯t confess their love in person. It is because His Eminence is the hope of mankind and a priest. That doesn¡¯t mean they gave up on love. They are looking for opportunities by sending letters to interact with His Eminence, exchanging small gifts, and building a human-to-human friendship with him. Tite, it¡¯s not too late. If you do that, this mother will cheer for your love.¡± I couldn¡¯t understand my mother. What she said was similar to what my friends I lost said. A letter? Of course they can send it. I sent a lot, too. A gift? Of course they can send it. I also sent numerous of them. Human-to-human friendship? They can try it as many times as they want. Yohan, who can¡¯t give up his mission, may see the stupidity they prefer. But the timid behavior of the young ladies is to win his love. My actions are never prudent. Because he already has a crush on me. I didn¡¯t have to do the hard courtship they did. I have a crush on him, and he has a crush on me. On our first meeting, the moment our eyes met, we fell in love with each other. I knew it the moment I saw his shaking eyes. That person fell for me, too! How can I describe the happiness and excitement of that time? I still haven¡¯t found the right expression. ¡°Mother, His Eminence has a crush on me. I don¡¯t need to go through such a tedious procedure. All he has to do is acknowledge his feelings. I¡¯ll wait if it¡¯s troubling because he is in the priesthood.¡± ¡°It¡¯s ridiculous that I gave birth to someone like you!¡± My mother sprayed me with feet-washed water and left the basement. I cried all day because it hurt more than my father¡¯s slaps and it was harder than the hard days I spent in the basement. As my mother said, I abstained from eating and drinking, and cried. My mother came back to me after I did not touch the porridge for three days. ¡°Look at you now! Who in the world would love you now!¡± ¡°Mother doesn¡¯t know! Yohan¡¯s heart is not swayed by mere outer appearance!¡° ¡°What a good talk from someone who¡¯s crazy about a man¡¯s beauty! Now what else do you have besides youth and appearance! Honor? Dignity? Pride? You shoved it all in the mud with your own hands!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t love Yohan for his face! We are meant to be! I knew it at first sight!¡± ¡°Please, Tite! Wake up! You¡¯re only fourteen years old. You don¡¯t know what love is! That is not love!¡± ¡°I know what love is even though I¡¯m only a 14 year old! If this emotion, this feeling is not love, then nothing in the world is love!¡± ¡°His Eminence doesn¡¯t love you!¡± ¡°He loves me!¡± We said the same thing over and over all day. My mother denied me and I denied her back. My mother was so mean. I love my mother, but it¡¯s mean of her to deny the love between me and him. Yohan loves me a hundred times and a thousand times more than I love him, so how can she deny that feeling? Similar days have been repeated since. It had been a long time since I saw the light. My internal clock got messed up and I couldn¡¯t even tell if porridge came out once a day. I cut the growing nails and toenails by chewing on them with my teeth and pulled straw to withstand the cold. When I was too thirsty, I even took a leak and drank. But what was more painful than those days was my parents who came to me on a regular basis and forced me to deny his feelings. It was one day a year after I got stuck in the basement. Oh, how did I know it was a year when I didn¡¯t even know the days were passing? Of course, I looked at the calendar after I came out. It¡¯s accurate because I left the basement right after that. Don¡¯t look at me like that. I told you I¡¯m not crazy *** ¡°Young Lady Biss, the most beautiful woman in the capital. Young Lady Biss, the kindest in the capital. Trust me. I¡¯m not crazy.¡± ¡°Mmmph. Mmph.¡± All Reese could do was to cry silently. There was nothing she could do except for praying to God, waiting for when this harsh night would end, and whether the end would be her death or rescue. Tite Rivero put her hand on Reese¡¯s head. Reese convulsed because she was horrified. Tite ignored the trembling Reese and slowly stroked Reese¡¯s long hair. ¡°Black hair¡­ I like black hair. Young Lady Biss. Yohan has black hair, too.¡± ¡°Mmmph. Mmph.¡± Tite¡¯s fingers took Reese¡¯s hair and twisted it. Reese¡¯s heart was gradually beating faster because of the slow action. Perhaps she liked her smooth, healthy black hair, Tite took a brush and began to brush Reese¡¯s hair. Reese was surprised as if she was going to faint. ¡°Hic, hic, mph, mph, mph.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be so afraid. I¡¯ll braid it beautifully for you.¡± When the comb poked the scalp, Reese thought of how the witch in the fairy tale killed the princess. Would the method of poisoning by applying poison to the brush and brushing hair work in real life? Wouldn¡¯t that poison be painful if it really was? Because her long hair got tangled with the rope, Tite had to move her hands softly to avoid damaging her hair. If there was tangled hair, baby hairs, or frizzy hair, it wouldn¡¯t be braided beautifully, so the brushing was carefully done. From Reese¡¯s point of view, all of Tite¡¯s actions were fear. ¡°I had a younger sister, so I braided her hair often. I¡¯ll braid it beautifully for you.¡± CH 4/1 That day, a little over a year after being trapped in the basement, Yohan came to me. I was expecting something unusual to happen. The maids suddenly came in and tied me to a chair. I was counting the number of bugs caught in the spider web while being tied to a chair, and the basement door opened and Yohan came in. I was surprised. I was embarrassed at the same time. If I had been told in advance, I would have brushed my hair before I got tied to the chair. Though there was no brush, I had my fingers. If I was told in advance, I might have asked for more porridge. At that time, I was so skinny that I had only bones left and my skin was ruined. If I had been told in advance, I would have asked for water to wash my face even though I was starving. It was literally a mess because I couldn¡¯t wash it for a long time. The blond hair that I bragged about was dry and rough due to lack of nutrition after cutting it short to give it to Yohan. His eyes must have been blurred and powerless. To be honest, I didn¡¯t want to show myself to Yohan. But at the same time, I got worked up. I wanted to prove to my parents that he doesn¡¯t change his mind even after he sees me in this state. So I called him. ¡°Yohan! You came to see me!¡± ¡°Senator Rivero, you¡¯re going too far with your daughter.¡± ¡°Your Eminence, I couldn¡¯t help it. This was all for you and my daughter.¡± ¡°Even so, she is your daughter.¡± ¡°Your Eminence, you are a victim. You don¡¯t have to worry about that.¡± Surely, Yohan was surprised to see me. And he scolded my parents for making me like this. I love Yohan even if he looks like a beggar, but at the same time, I would have been heartbroken. So did Yohan. There was no mirror, but I could fully imagine how I looked and how heartbroken Yohan was. I was hurt as though it broke my heart. ¡°Yohan, I¡¯m fine. Please forgive my parents.¡± ¡°Haah¡­¡± Yohan breathed out a very long sigh. It was really a very long sigh. It was so long that it was like the sigh of someone who wanted the world to end. He pointed at me and said. ¡°First, please loosen that rope.¡± ¡°No, Your Eminence. It¡¯s a measure for your sake.¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero won¡¯t hurt me.¡± ¡°Of course, Your Eminence! How can I hurt you who I love! I¡¯d rather die!¡± ¡°¡­ She won¡¯t hurt me.¡± ¡°No, Your Eminence. That girl is. My daughter has already lost her ability to judge correctly.¡± Yohan wasn¡¯t the only one from the Temple. Cardinal Jun, who used to be the youngest cardinal before Yohan, was with him. He spoke to my father. ¡°Why did you ask for us when you knew she had lost it?¡± ¡°I wanted¡­ to give her a last chance. Your Eminences, the holy ones! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to this lacking father¡¯s request!¡± ¡°I can¡¯t help it because it¡¯s the request of the Rivero family¡­ tsk.¡± Cardinal Jun glared at me and, Yohan, my love approached me. The approaching steps were slow and cautious. It was natural. It had been almost a year since we met. My heart felt like it was going to bounce out and I was so overwhelmed like I was flying in the sky. Yohan stood in front of me carefully. ¡°Young Lady Rivero. Do you recognize who I am?¡± ¡°Of course! Your Eminence, Cardinal Yohan! Blessed by the goddess, the one who will bring an end to the war for mankind. The man I love! The man who loves me!¡± ¡°She¡¯s crazy.¡± Cardinal Jun was on the side of the priests. He clicked his tongue. Yohan met me after a long time and asked people to leave as it was hard to suppress his passion. ¡°I want to have a conversation alone with Young Lady Rivero for a while.¡± ¡°No, you can¡¯t, Cardinal Yohan. It¡¯s dangerous.¡± ¡°Yes¡­ although I¡¯m her father, it¡¯s dangerous, Your Eminence.¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero is bound and I am a person with divine power. If you¡¯re worried about me, a man, being left alone with her, I swear to God that nothing will happen.¡± ¡°I¡¯m certainly not!¡± Father and Cardinal Jun left the basement. That¡¯s how we were left alone in the basement. I expressed my feelings to Yohan without hiding anything. ¡°I love you! I love you, Yohan! It¡¯s just the two of us! You don¡¯t have to hide it!¡± Yohan didn¡¯t answer right away. He¡¯s always been like that. He always responded to my confession with silence. If I didn¡¯t know how he felt, I might have cried because I was sad. For countless times, days, and maybe for the rest of my life. Yohan couldn¡¯t look away from me. I wonder if it was because my appearance hurt his heart. He closed his eyes tightly and then gritted his teeth. He didn¡¯t look away from me. It was a determined look. He didn¡¯t say it, but I could tell. ¡°Young Lady Rivero, I was born with the blessing of the Holy God. On the day I was born, God gave an oracle. This child will end the war. No one else can do that but this child. My life has existed for him since I was born.¡± ¡°I know, of course. I support Yohan¡¯s will. So I¡¯m okay with being your mistress. Platonic is fine if you¡¯re worried about your chastity vow. So please.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t discriminate against street vagrants, senators from former royal families, priests, farmers, and merchants. All mankind is touched by the love of the Holy God, and my love for them is fair.¡± ¡°You are the best cardinal.¡± ¡°So Young Lady Rivero, I love you. But that love is love for all people, not a love affair between a man and a woman. You are not special to me.¡± I was a little disappointed by the look in his eyes. Yohan told me the same lie as before when I met him after a year. I hid my disappointment and denied it exactly the same way. ¡°It¡¯s special.¡± ¡°You are like everyone else to me.¡± ¡°You know it¡¯s not the same.¡± ¡°You mean nothing to me.¡± ¡°You love me.¡± He couldn¡¯t even express his love freely because he was pressured by his duty. If it wasn¡¯t for me, it would have been a great performance. Fortunately, I didn¡¯t doubt his feelings. He loves me. It might be different if we haven¡¯t met, but since we have met, it¡¯s an unchangeable truth CH 4.2 ¡°You don¡¯t have to deceive me. I know. You love me. You fell in love with me.¡± ¡°Lady! Please!¡± I wonder if he almost confessed his love. He shouted emotionally and then calmed his mind. In the meantime, the necklace on his neck came out of his clothes and swayed. My eyes didn¡¯t miss it. It was a locket that could hold something inside. It was very obvious what was inside. ¡°That¡¯s a locket, right? There¡¯s my hair that I gave you that time inside, right? I know everything. You don¡¯t have to hide it, my love. Admit it honestly. You love me.¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero! Admit the truth! I don¡¯t love you. You mean nothing to me! Oh, I see. You¡¯ve become a loathsome person. Congratulations, Young Lady. You became the first person I hate.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t say such a harsh word. I get hurt even if I know it¡¯s a lie.¡± Yeah, I was hurt. Even if you know that it¡¯s a lie and it¡¯s not true, if it¡¯s expressed harshly, you¡¯ll get hurt. Besides, I was mentally weak because I was trapped in the basement for a long time and abused. It was hard to put up with such verbal abuse even if he was my loved one. Yohan put his face close to me. I stopped crying and smiled because it was my first time seeing him so close. Then he turned his head away. I think he was embarrassed. If it was my first time, then it would be the same for him. ¡°You are right, Young Lady Rivero. A priest doesn¡¯t mean he doesn¡¯t know love. I am also a 17-year-old boy. Loving a girl is not something to be ashamed of and hide. Although as a priest I can¡¯t propose and have a formal relationship, I can have someone in my heart.¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right. Now you admit it.¡± Finally, finally. He was trying to acknowledge his feelings. I tried to listen to his confession with the widest smile I could make. ¡°I have someone I love. That¡¯s not you, Young Lady Rivero.¡± I knew he was hiding his feelings for me and humanity. But he didn¡¯t have to lie like that. He put the biggest lie in his mouth. Even if I knew it was a lie, I cried because it hurt so much. I tried to hold it in, but tears just flowed down. I was parched enough to drink urine, but tears just came out. ¡°Lie. I know everything. You love me.¡± ¡°What¡¯s inside this locket is the hair of the person I love. It¡¯s not¡­ it¡¯s not your dirty hair.¡± ¡°I know. When you open the locket, it contains my brilliant blonde hair. I know. Your Eminence fell in love with me when we first met. I know. Your feelings won¡¯t change. How do I know? Your eyes shook when we made eye contact.¡± ¡°None of that is true.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t follow you anymore. I won¡¯t send you a letter anymore. I won¡¯t send you any presents as well. I won¡¯t shout I love you on the street. Please don¡¯t tell such a painful lie. It hurts. It hurts so much. Look, I can¡¯t stop crying.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not lying.¡± I was so sick, so sad that I wanted to affirm what he said. Yeah, I really did. But I couldn¡¯t admit it. Because I knew. Yohan loves Tite. We are meant to be. Denying his feelings denies our fate. Then how do I live? How does he live? He didn¡¯t know anything. Because I love him and he really has no idea what would happen if I didn¡¯t love him, because he was ignorant, he could lie so proudly and denied our love. Or he was a real fool. Because he only lived in the Temple and didn¡¯t know what love was, he didn¡¯t know that this attraction between us was love and he mistook it for something else. Otherwise, why would he deny and hide his feelings so much? Otherwise, how could he have acted and told such a cruel and painful lie? ¡°Shall I open the locket and show you the inside, Young Lady?¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t need it. There¡¯s probably false evidence inside anyway. You must cut off the hair of a woman you don¡¯t love, you asked for someone¡¯s hair, whoever it was as long as it¡¯s not golden hair. Put it in there and lie to me. I know everything, Your Eminence. The fact is that you love me. I know that your feelings will never change.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯ll show you. I want to show you.¡± He persistently tried to deny love. I closed my eyes tightly. Because I didn¡¯t want to see such fake evidence, the lies he was telling me. I closed my eyes and shouted. Because it hurt so much. ¡°Get out! Please get out! Your Eminence! I love you, I love you more than my life, but I¡¯m really hurt by the lies you told me today! I¡¯m so sad! I¡¯m weak enough and I might collapse when I see the fake evidence! So please stop and get out!¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero. Open your eyes and look inside the locket and you¡¯ll see the truth.¡± ¡°Please get out!¡± I love him, but I don¡¯t forgive him blindly for hurting me. That¡¯s how I grew up. Click. As I closed my eyes, I heard the locket being opened. I tightened my closed eyes and turned my head away. Then Yohan said, ¡°Before I came here, I dared to make a bet with God.¡± ¡°Go!¡± ¡°Tite Rivero. If you accept the truth, I dare to leave behind the mission given to me, confess my love to my loved one, and live as an ordinary person.¡± ¡°I¡¯m the one you love! And you always lie! Today, you even brought in evidence and lies! I know it¡¯s a lie, but it hurts so much! So get out!¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero, please open your eyes.¡± Was it because of repeated lies? Yohan¡¯s voice trembled in agony. It was very sad. But I wasn¡¯t fooled. When I opened my eyes, there would have been a lock of hair other than blonde in the locket. Yohan was excellent at acting and was good at denying love. I was weak enough. Because of that, when I opened my eyes and saw the false evidence, I would break down enough to admit it. So I couldn¡¯t open my eyes. For my love, for Yohan, I couldn¡¯t open my eyes. ¡°Young Lady Rivero, if your love for me is true. If you love me, please open your eyes.¡± Please. CH 4.3 His voice went out like a candlelight before the wind. But I didn¡¯t open my eyes. It was natural, of course. I was really hurt by his lies. I couldn¡¯t forgive him easily. ¡°If you want me to see such false evidence, I¡¯ll always see it! But not today! Your Eminence¡¯s lies hurt my feelings. It was such a painful lie! I¡¯m so weak today, I might lose my mind. So I¡¯m not going to see it today!¡± ¡°It must be today. Please, Young Lady. If you love me and wish me happiness, please. I¡¯ll kneel down and beg you.¡± I heard Yohan bent his knees. I was so surprised that I almost opened my eyes. I knew it well because I lived there for a year, but the basement wasn¡¯t a space for such a precious person to kneel down. ¡°If it¡¯s not today, I¡¯m going to suppress my love and live as the hope of mankind again. Young Lady Rivero. I made a big decision today and came to see you. If you love me, if you wish for my happiness, please open your eyes and look inside the locket.¡± ¡°I love you and I always wish for your happiness. But Your Eminence. I can¡¯t do you that favor today. Because you hurt me so much today.¡± Tears streamed through my closed eyes. I tried not to open my eyes by mistake. ¡°I know that whatever¡¯s in it is a lie. But even if it¡¯s a lie, people¡¯s hearts get hurt. You love me, but why don¡¯t you think about my happiness? Why are you ignoring my pain? I know. I know everything. You love me, Your Eminence!¡± ¡°I love her!¡± ¡°It¡¯s no use!¡± ¡°Lastly, I beg you. Please look at the locket.¡± I heard someone crying. I kept crying, but I just cried silently, so it wasn¡¯t me. So it was him. Yohan was crying in front of me. I almost opened my eyes. Because I had to soothe him if he was crying. The lies that have been hurting me have been hurting him as well. It¡¯s because he loves me. There¡¯s no one who likes to hurt their loved one but a sadist. Eventually, I couldn¡¯t hold back and opened my eyes, but I could hear Yohan closing the locket before that. Click. So I didn¡¯t see inside the locket. Yohan calmly put the locket around his neck and put it inside his clothes. That appearance of his was more holy than when he prays or makes the sign of the cross, so I had no choice but to realize that he was chosen by the Holy God. Yohan crossed the sign and prayed briefly. His eyes were red as if to prove that the sound I heard was not false. ¡°You didn¡¯t see the truth and I lost the bet. All of this would be the will of the Holy God. So I¡¯ll live according to that will.¡± ¡°Yes! Live! I can wait until it¡¯s all over!¡± ¡°You¡¯re cunning¡­ looking for your love only, turning a blind eye to the happiness of your loved one.¡± ¡°Why must it be today? I¡¯m so tired and distressed that I can¡¯t stand it¡ª!¡± ¡°May the Holy God bless you.¡± My love, my light, the most precious person I ever got in my life, crossed the sign on my face and left. He went out curtly, but I know that he was actually ashamed of himself for hurting me, and that he was also hurt as he hurt me. So, I didn¡¯t hate him. There was nothing I could do about my disappointment. He made a big lie about loving someone other than me. After Yohan left, I cried until I collapsed. When I opened my eyes, I was not in a cold basement, but on my soft bed. His lies weren¡¯t perfect to the end. He told my parents about my treatment, you see. I guess he couldn¡¯t act perfectly because it hurt him to see me suffer in the basement. I left the basement after a little over a year. The morning sun was so bright. My siblings didn¡¯t care about me, and the maids and servants treated me like a ghost, but anyway, I left the basement, didn¡¯t I? I was happy, so I smiled sweetly. People thought I was on a trip. I deceived people by pretending to have traveled because I didn¡¯t want to lay out my parents¡¯ sins. I said I had a good rest in a place with good air and water. And people were asking me like this. ¡°Are you sane now?¡± ¡°I was always sane.¡± Goodness. They were so rude. How could they ask such a question to the eldest daughter of the Rivero family. When I got angry, people asked me again. ¡°What do you think of Cardinal Yohan?¡± My answer was obvious. ¡°I really love him. His Eminence said he loves someone else other than me, right?¡± ¡°Oh, my. You are really.¡± ¡°In truth, he loves me. I know everything. He can¡¯t fool me even if he can fool the Demon Lord.¡± ¡°Not sane.¡± My father told the Temple that they could use force as long as I didn¡¯t get seriously injured. From the proud first daughter of the Rivero family, I was deprived of the right to succeed and only became the first daughter. The Holy Father closed the Temple, an open space for all, tightly only to me, and people started pointing fingers at me. I¡¯m fine, though. I¡¯m not crazy and Yohan loves me. *** Had it not been for the gag, Reese¡¯s upper and lower teeth would have bumped mercilessly. Reese was too scared to shake. Snip. Snip. The horrifying sound didn¡¯t stop coming to Reese¡¯s ears. Reese repeatedly closed her eyes tightly and opened them. When she opened her eyes, the reality, which felt like all this would end as a nightmare overnight, betrayed her. The eerie coldness of metal tickled Reese¡¯s neck. ¡°Mmrf.¡± Reese closed her eyes again and prayed to God. May someone come to save her. May Yohan come to save herself. ¡°Just hang in there. I¡¯m almost done. Don¡¯t move, okay? You might get hurt.¡± Snip. Snip. As the sound grew longer, Reese¡¯s head became lighter and lighter. An unusually large teardrop fell from Reese¡¯s wet eyes. The sound stopped and the creepy scissors that scared Reese also left the back of her neck. But Reese¡¯s tears didn¡¯t stop. ¡°It¡¯s done!¡± Reese¡¯s beautiful hair that she had grown all her life. The long hair of a woman was in the hand of Tite. Reese shook her head in disbelief of this reality. It wasn¡¯t there. The glossy black hair, which she had been preciously took care of, was cut short under the ears. ¡°Actually, I¡¯m a little curious. What color was the hair in that locket? It¡¯s not blonde, so black hair? If it¡¯s black, he might have cut his hair. Well. It must have been easy for him to get hair because Yohan is popular. Even if he didn¡¯t ask anyone for it, everyone would put their hair in the letter and give it to him.¡± It was exactly like what she said. Reese had also sent Yohan a few cuts of hair in a letter with no names written on it. Any girl who lived in the capital did it at least once. They dreamed of that beautiful Holy Father. Would that be such a big mistake? Enough to get her life threatened like this? CH 5.1 After leaving the basement, I behaved more modestly. I knew the weight of what a 14-year-old girl and a 15-year-old girl said was different. My mother raised me as the proud eldest daughter of the Rivero family and personally set an example for a noble lady. I was a great student who followed it faithfully. My mother no longer set an example to me after the day I left the basement. She was in charge of another student instead of me. My younger siblings. My cute and lovely siblings. The children who were so demanding and busy whenever I was free, such as asking me to read a book, sing a song, or braid their hair, became mature in a year. I was really surprised. I thought they weren¡¯t my brothers. But they don¡¯t call me sister anymore. The maids in the family, who listened to my order like they did to my mother, began to ask the headmaid if they could do something I ordered. I didn¡¯t like all that change, but what could I do? It was all a cajolement that interfered with love between me and him. I wouldn¡¯t have started love if I was going to give in to it. I wouldn¡¯t have asked the bold question if he fell for me when I saw his trembling eyes. I wonder if it was because life in the basement was hard. I often catch a cold. My cough didn¡¯t go away. I was born healthy, so I felt strange, amazed, and afraid of such minor illnesses. My mother took me around as soon as I got over my cold. It was a walk, viewing an exhibition, but there was always a man at the end of the journey. A beautiful man. A cool man. A handsome man. A wild man. An intelligent man. A man with a good sense of humor. A man with a fine voice. An attentive man. A rich man. A man who knows what honor is. A man, a man, a man. I¡¯ve met so many men. That was the first time I knew there were so many cool men in the capital. They were all great people. I found out a little later that my mother¡¯s aimless outing was actually my marriage interview. I didn¡¯t leave any room for those men to develop into my lover or husband. Mother told me. ¡°Tite, Yohan the Cardinal is a wonderful man, but there are other people in the world who are more wonderful than him.¡± ¡°Of course. There must be gentlemen who are better than Yohan, just as there are some young ladies who are better than me in this world. But mother. There¡¯s only one person I love. His Eminence Cardinal Yohan.¡± ¡°You should change your mind. Then you can choose one of those nice gentlemen to marry. You can be happy, Tite.¡± ¡°No matter who comes, I can¡¯t be happy if it¡¯s not Yohan.¡± My mother cried. I was so heartbroken, so I hugged my mother and cried together. When I remembered how many people were hurt because of my love, I regretted it. I wish I could give up. How I wish I could turn it back. If I had known my love would be so adamant, I would have turned away from him. If I knew my love would be so stubborn, I would have not wavered as well. But I noticed his love and couldn¡¯t turn away. Oh, my God. If it was such a painful love, why did you let me meet him? But I prayed again. Oh, Holy God. We were meant to meet eventually even if you disturbed us. Yes. We love each other because fate led us. My father¡¯s anger reached its limit when I rejected all those men. My father locked me in the attic, not in the basement, and shouted. That the god was the one who arranged my marriage. That there¡¯s nowhere to accept a madman unless as the second wife of a despicable man who doesn¡¯t know honor and manner. ¡°If you even refuse this marriage, I¡¯ll tie you up and never let you out of the house again!¡± ¡°Father! You can¡¯t do this! I love Yohan! Yohan loves me, too!¡± ¡°Shut up!¡± ¡°Please let Yohan know! I¡¯m sure Yohan will oppose this marriage!¡± ¡°The Holy Father¡¯s condition is at stake, and the whole capital is in agony, but you¡­! You¡­! I regret that I raised someone like you as a daughter with love.¡± My father nailed the door. I cried alone in the attic. The Holy Father was like Yohan¡¯s biological father. And when the Holy Father died, it was obvious that the next pope seat belonged to Yohan. When he became a pope, Yohan would really accept his mission utterly as his own. Also, he wouldn¡¯t notice that I¡¯m getting married without his knowledge because he was distracted by His Holiness¡¯s condition. If I get married, I will have a family, so I have to commit to it. As I said earlier, I didn¡¯t mean to break a fine family. I also have to give up Yohan when I get married. So I decided to escape. If I got married, I would never come back to the capital again. I would never see Yohan again. Let¡¯s give myself a gift like I gave him my hair as a gift. Let¡¯s go after looking at the face of my beloved Yohan for the last time. That¡¯s what I thought. There was a window in the attic that a small person could barely get through. However, underneath it was the outer wall of the mansion, where there was no place to step, so I couldn¡¯t guarantee my life if I fell. CH 5.2 I put my leg in the window first. This was the only way to escape. Originally, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to get out of the small window. But my body hadn¡¯t recovered after living in the basement. It took me a while, but I managed to get out. I pulled myself out of the window and hung onto the window with all my might, but the ordeal was after that. The tree nearby was the only lifeline. Shaking my body and thinking I¡¯m fine even if I die, I let go of my hand. And I managed to grab the branch. Although the branch couldn¡¯t bear my weight, broke, and dropped me, the shock was less than falling straight from the attic. I didn¡¯t break anywhere. I was lucky. Although there was blood flowing because I hit my head, the head is a part that bleeds more than other bodies even for a little wound, anyway. It wasn¡¯t such a big wound. I then climbed the wall and headed to the Temple. I was going to the Temple, but I didn¡¯t mean to go in. Really, it was fine to see him from afar only. Because that was my purpose. A woman bleeding in the head. It was at dusk, but I was so noticeable. It was clear that I would be caught and taken away quickly if I walked on the street with many people. So I moved to the back alley. The back alley eventually connects to the Temple, and if I went to a higher place, I could see the entrance to the Temple. I was going to wait for Yohan to come out of there. Bright blonde, red eyes like rubies that anyone can recognize. That was me, Tite Rivero. It was a physical feature that even people who haven¡¯t seen me in person could know who I was. It¡¯s not common to have such shiny blonde hair and such pretty red eyes. I didn¡¯t gain back my weight, but my hair has gained back its shine. So I didn¡¯t think I should be on guard in the back alley. Who dares to touch the eldest daughter of the Rivero family? It¡¯s impossible unless they are crazy. But there was such a madman in the world. Even though they were a vagrant in the back alley, such impure people lived in this capital. I was surprised. A couple of vagrants stood in my way. I proudly asked them to move away. ¡°These rude people. Get out of the way. Don¡¯t you know who I am?¡± ¡°She¡¯s the crazy girl, isn¡¯t she?¡± ¡°She¡¯s the rumored crazy girl. She¡¯s definitely pretty to see in person.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the point of being pretty? Her head is deranged.¡± ¡°How rude!¡± ¡°What do we do? Are we really going to do it?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°But the Rivero family won¡¯t let us off.¡± ¡°Who would believe what a madman says?¡± A dirty hand covered my mouth. A forceful, strong, inconsiderate force weighed on my wrists. Each of my legs were lifted, then I was dragged from the back alley to the deeper and darker back alley. I rebelled, but it didn¡¯t work. Should have I taken a safe route even if I was recognized by people? I¡¯ll never forgive anyone who tries to do this even though they know I¡¯m Tite Rivero. I thought of that, and it seemed like my emotions were revealed in my eyes. A dirty scum said to kill me. ¡°Her head is already broken, so let¡¯s throw her away somewhere afterwards.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a good idea.¡± I couldn¡¯t die without seeing Yohan. I fought back desperately as my body hardened with fear. In the midst of that, I got hit, I got hit¡­ I don¡¯t really remember. Anyway, it was a real crisis, but on the other side of the dark, behind the vagrants, where my eyes were facing, he was there. Yes, Yohan. Yohan was there. I thought I saw it wrong at first. But it was really Yohan. It was a real emergency, but Yohan stood there like a stone statue without moving. As the sun went by, a long shadow came out and covered the vagrants. He opened his mouth with the expression that he had never seen such an unpleasant sight in the world, as if he couldn¡¯t believe what I was being subjected to. ¡°Young Lady Rivero.¡± ¡°Mmf!¡± ¡°Damn it, we got¡­ Your-Your Eminence !¡± The vagrants found Yohan. The force in their dirty hands disappeared. I pushed the vagrants and crawled out. It hurt my pride to crawl in front of vagrants, but I couldn¡¯t help it because my arms and legs were weak. My head that was injured while I left the attic, opened while I was rebelling and blood dripped. The shadow turned darker and the blood covered by the shadow got darker. I covered the wound. The vagrants fled, begged for mercy, or lied. ¡°Your Eminence, I didn¡¯t know it was Young Lady Rivero. I didn¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Rape is a felony that shouldn¡¯t be committed even if she is not a young lady of a prestigious family. Sleep until the guards come.¡± Yohan¡¯s divine power put the vagrants to sleep. The one who ran away, the one who made false excuses, the one who prayed for mercy, all collapsed and fell asleep. I tidied up my torn clothes. I had mixed feelings. Now that I¡¯ve achieved the purpose of seeing him, I have to go home now. I have to go back home wearing the vagrants¡¯ clothes. How sad will Yohan be if I tell him I am getting married. Should I hide it? Or should I be honest? Oh, my head hurts. CH 5.3 I had been thinking a lot, but I suddenly wondered. The place I was in was very deep in the back alley visited by bad guys who want to violate women. It was a place where ordinary people didn¡¯t even know about it, moreover, it was a place where a cardinal of the Temple wouldn¡¯t step in. But Yohan was standing in front of me. He was casting a shadow over me and looking down at me. There was only one thing it meant. The thrill, the thrill of joy, rushed from the tip of my toes. I smiled broadly at the person I loved. ¡°Did you come to see me?¡± ¡°¡­ Young Lady Rivero. I¡¯m going to call the guard, so wait here until¡­ No, let me look at your wound.¡± Yohan covered my body with his clothes and healed my wounds with divine power. The wound on my head as the branch broke, the small wounds from struggling, and the wounds from getting hit as I resisted disappeared like snow melting without a scar. But the blood on the ground and the blood on the clothes proved that I was hurt. It was just like the wound given by Yohan on my last day in the basement that won¡¯t heal. Yohan unusually didn¡¯t hide his feelings in front of me. He got angry. ¡°Do you lose your sense of danger if you go crazy? Why did you step into such a dangerous place?¡± ¡°How did you get to this dirty place?¡± ¡°Not everyone living in the back alley is as shameless as those people. It¡¯s also my job to take care of my poor and marginalized neighbors.¡± Yohan¡¯s hand, which healed the wound, moved away from me. I grabbed the leaving hand and said, ¡°Lie. You knew I was here and you came to save me, right? I know everything.¡± He didn¡¯t shake my hand and looked at me with a calm eye. He was angry. With me, with himself, with the vagrants, at his own shadow that covered me, at the blood I spilled on the floor, at the wounds I made to meet him. At the whole world. And he said to me, ¡°You are really out of your mind.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to fool me. I know everything. Your heart, your anguish, your worries. Everything.¡± ¡°You always put me to the test.¡± Yohan was angry. Yohan¡¯s hand moved to his chest and grabbed something with his clothes. It was a locket he always wore around his neck. Yohan showed intent to kill. I think it was hard to bear the murder intent to the vagrants who made me look like this. ¡°You are very honest.¡± ¡°That¡¯s my strength.¡± ¡°You threw everything away for love.¡± ¡°Because I love you. Because I know. Because I know it¡¯s not a one-way emotion, but mutual.¡± ¡°When I look at you, I sometimes think that everything I¡¯m worried about is insignificant.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. Choose the happier one.¡± ¡°My happiness is fixed. If you are happy, I¡¯m happy, too. If people are happy, I¡¯m happy, too.¡± ¡°But I¡¯m not happy right now?¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero.¡± He let out a long sigh and told me. ¡°You can enjoy the ordinary happiness of marrying a good person and having children. Then there¡¯s nothing else I want.¡± ¡°I can never be happy if that person is not you.¡± ¡°Even if you don¡¯t love him, you can have affection for him and you can be happy.¡± ¡°Is that how it works for you? I¡¯m not. I, I can¡¯t be happy unless I¡¯m with you. I can¡¯t be happy. I can¡¯t laugh. Yohan! Don¡¯t fool me anymore!¡± His Holiness was in a bad condition and I was getting married. I thought that was the last chance to convince him. He kept denying and refusing to admit his love for me. Or maybe because he loves me, he was trying to give up on me for my ordinary happiness as he said. But my happiness wasn¡¯t like that. It was never my happiness. Because my happiness is to live in love with the person I love. ¡°You can just act. You can just lie. I¡¯m sure everyone will get fooled. The Holy God probably fell for it, too. Maybe your heart was fooled, too. But I. It might work with anyone else, but you can¡¯t fool this Tite Rivero.¡± The sun was completely down. The twilight had gone and the star appeared. Yohan stared at me as unmoved as he did the moment he found me before I was raped. His lips opened small and his eyes shook. I cried out desperately. ¡°Yohan loves Tite Rivero! Because that¡¯s the unchanging truth!¡± Yohan¡¯s face was distorted. He raised his hand like he was about to slap me in the face. He wouldn¡¯t do that, though, you see. But all of a sudden, his movement stopped. At the same time, a shooting star fell from the sky leaving a long tail behind. Yohan changed his face to a blank expression as if he had never distorted his face like that before he looked up at the sky and said. ¡°His Holiness has just passed away¡­¡± It was a sad story. I prayed for the Holy Father¡¯s soul to be in the arms of the Holy God. When I opened my eyes after praying, Yohan was a step away from me. His face was as calm as ever. He looked sad at the same time. So I asked the obvious question. ¡°Will you be Pope?¡± ¡°Yes, I will.¡± CH 5.4 Yohan loosened his grip on the locket he had been holding. He drew a divine smile just like a person who would soon become His Holiness the Pope, and said he would take me to the guards. I accepted the inevitable reality. It might be different if I didn¡¯t get married, but back then I was getting married. It was regrettable that I couldn¡¯t hear his confession, but I couldn¡¯t help it. ¡°It¡¯s the last time, but you¡¯re ignoring the truth until the end.¡± ¡°It¡¯s you who turns a blind eye to the truth.¡± ¡°I¡¯m getting married soon. My father found me a partner.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t be able to attend the wedding, but congratulations. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll be able to hold onto happiness.¡± ¡°I think that¡¯s going to be a little hard.¡± He shook his head when I told him the name of the man I was getting married to. Because he was a man with a very bad reputation. He was famous for being accused of beating his wife to death, but he only paid fines because he was a descendant of a royal family like the Rivero family and the Knights under his command were strong. Even the captain of the guard who heard the story said that Father was too mean, so how would it be with him? I went back to my family like that. My marriage was delayed because of the death of the Holy Father, and that man seemed to have found fault with my purity because of the unsavory that day. My father¡¯s deal with a man who almost became my husband went wrong and I¡¯m back to a body without a fiancee. I wasn¡¯t happy at all. He became Holy Father. He is harder to see than when he was a cardinal. I could really settle for seeing him from afar, but even that became difficult. I sent him letters. I sent him presents. I asked people to deliver a message to him. If he was going out, I waited at the street corner. The letters were burned down. The presents were also burnt. The requests were not delivered. When I waited at the street corner, I was captured by the holy knights and imprisoned elsewhere. In the midst of that, rumors began to circulate in the capital. It was a ridiculous wild rumor. But people liked to talk as if the story was an impressive story and was true. I was miserable to hear that. I know it¡¯s not true, but I was sad. Yohan loves another woman besides me. He has another woman in his mind than me. That person loves another person and hides her. Does that make sense? That can¡¯t happen. It was impossible. The only people who knew the truth were me and Yohan, but Yohan pretended not to know the rumor, and I tried to correct the rumor, but it didn¡¯t work. I heard that the young and beautiful Holy Father secretly adores someone. That person is me, but people say other women¡¯s names. People have been talking about the names of beautiful and elegant young ladies of the capital. None of them were my names. It was a strange thing. It was really weird. Yohan doesn¡¯t see anyone else like that except me. There¡¯s only one truth, but people say it¡¯s a lie. They said it was my delusion. They said I believe delusions are real because my mind is not intact. I had to prove the truth. *** The scissors brushed past Reese¡¯s body. Reese groaned faintly every time that happened. The scissors that cut Reese¡¯s hair, which she had grown dearly all her life, were now cutting Reese¡¯s clothes as well. The pieces of cloth were clumped together in Tite¡¯s hands and shoved into a trash can. All the clothes were removed from Reese¡¯s body except for the part tied with a rope. Looking at Reese crying on the floor, Tite approached her. ¡°Sorry. I¡¯ll cut your underwear, too.¡± ¡°Mmf! Mmf!¡± ¡°I can¡¯t help it. Please understand, huh?¡± The scissors moved from Reese¡¯s chest and groin. Reese was utterly exhausted and wept. Reese also knew about rumors that Pope Yohan secretly adored someone in the capital. Everyone wondered who that person would be, and in the meantime, several young ladies¡¯ names came out on the surface. Reese was one of the young ladies with the highest possibility. Tite brought up that story as well. Perhaps the reason why Reese was in this difficulty now was because of the rumor. The most beautiful in the capital, Young Lady Biss. Ebony-like hair and good nature were her and her family¡¯s pride. ¡°Come to think of it, Young Lady Biss was the most likely candidate, right?¡± Tite put her face close by surprise. The scissors in her hand came close together. Reese struggled in horror, moving back. Red eyes full of madness. It was beautiful, but it was even more scary because it was beautiful. Tite smiled incongruously and patted Reese on the cheek. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I don¡¯t believe such rumors. I¡¯m the only one the Pope loves.¡± Tite nodded. ¡°Yeah. Only me.¡± Tite Rivero¡¯s own truth. Tite Rivero¡¯s solo truth. A fatal illusion that had separated once the most beautiful and acclaimed young lady from everyone. A vicious stalker who terrified the amiable Holy Father and all the cardinals. Tite laughed silently. Reese cried silently. CH 6.1 There was nothing I could do about not being able to be with him, whom I love. He chose the mission of embracing humanity instead of our happy lives. If that¡¯s his choice. If he¡¯s going to do that until the end. If he¡¯s going to die like that. If he wants to pursue love for mankind instead of his own love, I have nothing more to say. But I¡¯m the only one who Yohan loves. There can¡¯t be anyone else. This certain truth should never be denied. Every time I heard about it, my insides corroded, you see. I¡¯m a helpless person, so I¡¯m worn out by the endless bump. The big wound that started the corrosion occurred on the last day of the basement, when he said he loved someone other than me. The wound didn¡¯t heal, and little by little ruined and tortured me, Tite Rivero. People get hurt even though they know it¡¯s a lie. What a fragile being they are. Therefore, the war with the demon hasn¡¯t yet ended, and people cling to the Holy God, believing in unstable ceasefire agreements and limitations. I shouted proudly. Telling to not believe the false rumors circulating in the capital. ¡°All the rumors circulating now are false! I¡¯m the one the Holy Father loves!¡± ¡°There she goes again.¡± ¡°How boring.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the Rivero family doing? Why don¡¯t they catch the crazy girl?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get me started. I don¡¯t know how good her tricks are, I heard no matter where she¡¯s tied, no matter where she¡¯s confined, she¡¯ll get out.¡± ¡°It¡¯s probably not tied properly.¡± ¡°Hush, you man. Didn¡¯t you hear that she came to the Temple with her wrist bone exposed?¡± ¡°That¡¯s crazy. Shouldn¡¯t they not give her treatment?¡± ¡°She¡¯s crazy, but she¡¯s from the Rivero family. Besides, the Temple treats wounded people even if they¡¯re a beggar, so how could they just ignore a crazy girl?¡± Just talk as you like. I didn¡¯t care about that kind of rumor. But I had to be the one who Yohan loved. Even if everyone, and even Yohan, denied it, it was a truth that wouldn¡¯t change. Not only passers-by but also the priests who had to be virtuous came out and cursed me. I was proud. They are the ones at fault. They are the one being deluded. There is only one truth. Only one. Yohan loves Tite. If there were people who simply cursed me, there were also people who thought I was a nuisance. They couldn¡¯t bear to see me entering their sight. They even took me to the corner and threatened me. I bet everyone will be surprised if they find out who¡¯s one of those frauds. Well, I don¡¯t have to protect the honor of a fraud who drags a young girl and threatens her with force, right? One of the frauds was Cardinal Jun. ¡°Are you here again?¡± ¡°Happy to see you, Your Eminence the Cardinal.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t say I¡¯m happy, Young Lady Rivero. I think I can say I¡¯m happy on the day I don¡¯t see you in front of the Temple.¡± ¡°You won¡¯t be happy onwards, then.¡± ¡°What on earth is the Rivero family doing?!¡± Cardinal Jun, who said that, was the one who treated me when I was shaking with my wrist bone exposed. Throughout his treatment of me with the divine power from the Holy God, he spoke ill of my family and my name, not praising the Holy God. It was okay to insult me. I could bear it because it originated from my love. But it was painful for my family to get insulted because of my love. ¡°Your Eminence. It¡¯s okay to insult me, but please don¡¯t insult my family.¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t want your family to be insulted, shouldn¡¯t you take care of yourself on your own?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t. It¡¯s impossible. Your Eminence, I know that His Holiness the Pope loves me, so what can I do¡­ He must be in pain from repressing and denying his love, so how could I turn a blind eye to it?¡± ¡°You¡¯re crazy and run wild.¡± Cardinal Jun touched his forehead as if he was suffering more. A few days later, Cardinal Jun beckoned me when I was wandering in front of the Temple. That person was rude for treating me like a child. It made me feel really weird watching it. Why do people treat a crazy girl like a little child? Of course, I¡¯m not crazy, but if my behavior, my attitude, my argument, was like a madman to them, they would have treated me like a madman. And I¡¯m the eldest daughter of the Rivero family. I grew up with an education suitable for an eldest daughter. Before turning 14, Tite Rivero was only a child, but even to that child, people were polite and treated her accordingly. But I was three years older and the way people treated me went against time. Young Lady Rivero. People who used to call me that, called me by name lightly, Tite, like calling a puppy. They casually talked about difficult and scary stories that they couldn¡¯t bring up in front of others. Because I¡¯m crazy? Do they look down on the intelligence of a crazy person as a child? I went off topic too far. Anyway, Cardinal Jun called me like calling a child, like calling a puppy rolling around with its back on the floor. I didn¡¯t want to respond to such a rude call, but I had to. Because the place where Cardinal Jun beckoned me was inside the Temple. The holy knights blocked me, but Cardinal Jun said it was okay. ¡°I have something to show her.¡± ¡°Understood, sir.¡± ¡°She will know the reality when she sees it.¡± Cardinal Jun said he¡¯d let me sneak a look at Yohan. He said I should watch it quietly and secretly instead. He said if I made a fuss and ran to Yohan again, he¡¯d put me in jail. He said that Yohan now is not His Eminence the Cardinal anymore, but His Holiness the Pope, so even the Rivero family could not save me. I nodded without hesitation. Because he can see me if I can see him. He¡¯ll notice the way I look at him. Because he loves me. CH 6.2 Holy Father Yohan. A person blessed by the Holy God. A man who loves humanity. And the one who loves me more than the whole of mankind. That deep love drowned me. I was a person drowned in his love. The place where Cardinal Jun took me was the garden of the Temple. It was a forbidden place where no one could come in, where the Holy Father came to rest for a while when he was tired of his work. The garden of the Temple was not as fancy as the garden of the Rivero family, but instead there was a simple, static, and calm beauty. In the garden, Yohan was chatting with some young lady. The appearance of the man and woman was heartwarming. Both were good to see as they were handsome and beautiful. They looked good. Yohan smiled from time to time during the conversation, and the young lady smiled shyly with a face that could not hide her love and respect for Yohan. The people who saw them passed quietly so as not to disturb them with a happy smile, and even the wind sprinkled petals on the heads of the man and woman as if it were for them. The birds were singing quietly and the sun was warm. ¡°Look carefully.¡± Cardinal Jun told me to carefully watch that beautiful scene. I saw it well. I couldn¡¯t understand what he wanted to show me. The man and woman had the same black hair, so they looked good together like siblings. Yeah, that¡¯s right. You were the one I saw back then, Young Lady Biss. But don¡¯t get me wrong, okay? I didn¡¯t misunderstand the relationship between Yohan and you. People who don¡¯t know anything could have misunderstood the relationship between you two. But as you know, Young Lady Biss, Yohan doesn¡¯t love you. Yohan is so sweet, kind, and loves everyone, and Young Lady Biss, you¡¯re a kind young lady who is witty and elegant. I know. I know as well. It must have been a pleasant conversation. You can laugh while having a good conversation. If a man and a woman are together, it may call upon a misunderstanding, but if one of them has a firm love, there is no misunderstanding. Because Yohan loves me. When I said that, Cardinal Jun said I¡¯m a spiteful woman like a demon. It was the most insulting thing a human being could say to another human being. ¡°You¡¯re incorrigible.¡± ¡°His Holiness loves me. Aren¡¯t you the one being rude to His Holiness and Young Lady Biss for mistaking their pure friendship for love?¡± ¡°You are really incorrigible.¡± ¡°The Holy Father loves me. Even if I gave up my happiness with the Holy Father, I can¡¯t accept false rumors circulating as true. The truth can sometimes be multiple. But for us, the truth is forever one. Yohan loves me.¡± Cardinal Jun was one of the closest people to Yohan. I wanted at least Yohan¡¯s confidants to know the truth. It was a simple wish. ¡°The Holy God must have given up on you, too.¡± To love someone. Wishing that person to be happy. Wanting him to be honest about his feelings and be greedy about it. Was it such a bad thing that I had to hear such insulting words? I was already tired and worn out, a rusty nail that was corroding. I ended up showing tears at Cardinal Jun¡¯s insulting remarks. He said my tears were not worth anything. There is no weight in the words of a madman. Tears of a crazy person have no worth. There¡¯s no point in a madman¡¯s laugh. Tite Rivero was not crazy. So my words had weight, my tears had value, my laughter had meaning. I was always convinced then and now. Because His Holiness, who was talking with you, noticed my presence. He knew I was there, so he smiled even more deeply, and acted more like he was in a close relationship with you, Young Lady Biss! ¡°You don¡¯t know. You don¡¯t know anything. Would His Holiness have done these things that would have been a nuisance to him if it was my one-sided feeling? I¡¯m Tite Rivero, the eldest daughter of the Rivero family. I know I¡¯m just a stalker to people. I mean¡­ I know.¡± ¡°The crime you committed in awareness is even more serious.¡± ¡°If I didn¡¯t do this, would Yohan be able to see my face? What about my voice? Could we have a conversation?¡± ¡°Of course. You could have been good friends like other young ladies or closer like Young Lady Biss over there.¡± ¡°Yohan, the Holy Father gave up on me for humanity and his mission. From the beginning, he wasn¡¯t even given the right to choose and time! What¡¯s the deal with war! What¡¯s the deal with the end of the war!¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero! Watch what you say!¡± I slowly broke down. I hugged my knees and cried. How I wish I had loved Yohan one-sidedly. Then I could have been the one talking under the sun in the garden over there. CH 6.3 How I wish I had loved Yohan one-sidedly. Then even though we could not be happy lovers, we could be good friends. How I wish I had loved Yohan one-sidedly. Then we would have ended our first meeting with a shy but polite greeting. If I had an unrequited love for Yohan, my family wouldn¡¯t have been insulted. But I couldn¡¯t. At the moment I first met him, our eyes met, and I didn¡¯t miss his eyes shaking. Fate whispered to me and the wind of fate pushed me to him. His eyes shook. It stopped quickly, but it definitely shook, and after that, it shook again sometimes, when he wanted to forget or felt tired. I didn¡¯t dare to deny his feelings even though I denied mine. Because his love was so huge. However, was my love and his love different? Was he unable to make other choices while loving me so much and suffering from my absence and his love denial? I cried and collapsed out of exhaustion. When I opened my eyes, I was still in the Temple. Did crying until I collapsed cause Cardinal Jun¡¯s pity? No. I shook my head. Yohan knew I was there, so he would have come running right after I collapsed and picked me up. Then he gave me a room. ¡°I know everything.¡± Yes, I did. It was a day after I collapsed. I sneaked out of the room so the priests wouldn¡¯t catch me. I thought I could meet Yohan if I hid in the garden. What should I say if I meet Yohan? The time for persuasion was over and we had nothing to do but watch each other. But I thought it would be a great strength and joy for Yohan. Because Yohan loves me. The garden is a limited entry place, so there was strict security at every corner. It can¡¯t be helped because it¡¯s the place where the Holy Father comes and goes often. So I took an expedient. I set a place where I could see the garden as the destination. I decided to look down at Yohan from a high place somewhere in the Temple like when I tried to look down at Yohan when the previous Pope died. I didn¡¯t know when I went up, but it was higher than I thought. I was so scared that I decided to call Yohan and go down. ¡°Your Holiness! Your Holiness Yohan!¡± He appeared in the garden. I crouched down to avoid the wind and jumped up and waved. Yohan looked up at me and our eyes met. I couldn¡¯t see his eyes shaking because it was so far away, but I felt it. ¡°Young Lady Rivero, come down!¡± ¡°Your Holiness Yohan! I love you!¡° I was about to go down because I had said everything I had to say, but the wind suddenly blew hard and pushed me. I lost my balance and plunged to the ground. The priests and he were watching me, but my fall was faster than their reflexes. I lost my mind along with a dizzying shock. I thought I was dead. And I had a dream. ¡°Tite, please. Please don¡¯t die. If you die, I have no reason to live.¡± It was a dream of someone crying by my bedside. Of course, it was Yohan who cried. The dream seemed real. The tears falling on my face were hot, and the confession whispered in my ears was so sweet that I didn¡¯t want to wake up from my dream. Yohan in the dream was honest. He said many times that there¡¯s no reason to live if he loses me. It was natural considering his love for me, but he hides his feelings and doesn¡¯t want to admit them. It was a dream. I had that dream over and over again for about 15 days. When I came to my senses, it became more clear that it was a dream. The only ones to come in and out of the room I laid were the female priests and Cardinal Jun. My body was fixed on the bed, unable to move, and the only free action I could do was to roll my eyes. The female priests put rice gruel into my mouth and Cardinal Jun went in and out to heal me. ¡°I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d commit suicide.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not suicide. I¡¯m not going to die. If I die, I can¡¯t see Yohan.¡± ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just die¡­ Damn it.¡± I guess I was meant to die on the spot. However, there was Yohan, who has the strongest divine power amongst the pope in history. If Yohan hadn¡¯t treated me immediately, I¡¯d be dead. Many people praised Yohan for his mercy. Long live the Holy Father, who saves even the weary stalker from dying. *** ¡°Long live¡­¡° Tite, who was taking off her clothes, said hooray in a small voice. She laughed with bated breath so that the sound wouldn¡¯t leak out. ¡°Pft. Huhu. Ahahaha. Long live the Holy Father. Ahahaha.¡± Even if she threw back her head and laughed loudly, the sound would have been covered by both the loud sound of rain and the sound of thunder. Rain and lightning seemed to amplify Tite¡¯s madness further. After laughing for a long time, Tite sobbed and shook her shoulders, then began to take off her clothes again. Reese watched the whole scene with frightened eyes. CH 7.1 It seemed like it was a serious injury that even the pope¡¯s divine power could not guarantee my recovery. The dream I had while I was in a confused state may have reflected my hope before I went to the underworld. Because in my dreams, Yohan was always by my bedside. If it was the Grim Reaper who came to bring me, I¡¯d follow it. I asked if Yohan came to see me. Cardinal Jun said no chance. Yohan didn¡¯t come to see me even once after he cured me when I crashed. I could tell lies and truths by looking at his face. I thought it was true. All the female priests who took care of me said the same thing and they didn¡¯t seem to lie either. In the end, Yohan, who was desperately whispering to live in my ear, was no more than my dream. I was not disappointed. My mind was wearing out, and my body was in tatters, so I couldn¡¯t stand it. I then thought. Maybe it¡¯s time to finish. No matter how great of love it is, people wear out even if love doesn¡¯t change. Love doesn¡¯t tire out, but people do. No matter how noble of love it is, love remains, but people die. The priests were cooperative in treating my wounds. I wanted to get out of the Temple soon. When I recovered enough to get up, Yohan came to visit me. Cardinal Jun joined us in our conversation. I was going to talk about my dream, but I stopped. I didn¡¯t want to be hurt by Yohan¡¯s lies anymore. I was exhausted. My body and mind were in tatters, so I thought I might have to end it. Who knows? Maybe if I brought up the dream, Yohan¡¯s patience would also reach its limit, and he could confess that it was not a dream, but a fact. A dazzlingly beautiful handsome man sat on a chair. He seemed like a different person from the person who cried and confessed in my dream, but he was the same person. Seeing him insist on lying to the end, I realized. I might have to end it. ¡°How is your condition, Young Lady Rivero?¡± ¡°Thank you for saving me, Holy Father.¡± ¡°It was a serious injury that your skull and spine were almost crushed. Is there any inconvenience?¡± ¡°Thanks to you, I¡¯m fine, Holy Father.¡± I wonder if it was because my determination was revealed in my attitude? Cardinal Jun and his eyes changed. I decided to give Yohan one last chance. It was the last time for me, and for him. ¡°Holy Father, I want to ask you for the last time.¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero. I don¡¯t love you.¡± Yohan answered hastily. I was quite disappointed. Because he stuck to the lie until the end and hid the truth. ¡°That¡¯s not it. I¡¯ll ask you another question.¡± ¡°Go ahead.¡± ¡°Do you have someone you love?¡± ¡°I love everyone equally as a servant of the Holy God.¡± ¡°Your Holiness, I said it was the last question. Please answer me honestly.¡± I looked him in the eye and spoke clearly. ¡°Do you have anyone you love?¡± He replied. ¡°Yes.¡± Cardinal Jun was breathless in surprise. I purposely told Cardinal Jun to keep this conversation a secret. Cardinal Jun swore to God on the spot. So I was ready to listen to Yohan¡¯s true feelings. ¡°Are you going to confess to that person?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Why? You love her, right?¡± ¡°Young Lady Rivero.¡± Yohan smiled bitterly. He fiddled with the locket in his chest a few times and closed his eyes. A little while later, he said. ¡°Young Lady, as you know, I received the oracle. This child will end the war. No one can do that but this child. Although now we are in a ceasefire, the demons freely cross the border and disturbances are becoming more frequent. We don¡¯t know how long it will take before the war ends. I have made up my mind to devote my life to the mission that the Holy God has given me. So personal happiness, love between man and woman, is far from me.¡± ¡°But you don¡¯t have to get married? You can just take her as your mistress? If that, too, is a problem, then you can just stay friends?¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine with that, but what about the other person¡¯s life? A life, where if it wasn¡¯t for me, she can normally meet a good person, have a family, have children, and enjoy normal happiness.¡± ¡°Are you really happy with that?¡± ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m happy with that.¡±