《I Tried To Escape Through Death》 CH 1 ¡°Rena¡­¡± A handsome man was crying while looking at me. The outstretched hand was shaking pitifully, and the black eyes shook helplessly. ¡°Rena, it¡¯s you, isn¡¯t it? Or have I finally gone mad?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Say something, please.¡± I was frozen, speechless until a man approached me and rubbed my cheek. ¡®I¡¯m doomed.¡¯ It wasn¡¯t part of my plans to meet Calix here. How did this happen? I bit my lip in frustration. As if he didn¡¯t care about my silence, the man continued to say what he wanted to say. ¡°I knew you were alive. Even if everyone else told me that there was no possible chance¡­ I knew you were alive.¡± The trembling voice was filled with anxiety and joy to meet me again. The man raised my hand and kissed it. While listening to his desperate words, I was occupied with different thoughts in my mind. How can I deal with this situation? What should I say to a man who met his first love again after five years, whose disappearance was disguised as death? When I didn¡¯t answer, the hand of the man who held my arm slowly became tense. There was only one thing to say to him, who was anxious that I would disappear again at any time. ¡°Rena, I really¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but who are you?¡± ¡°What?¡± The man¡¯s voice snapped. ¡°I don¡¯t know you. I think you¡¯ve got the wrong person.¡± ¡°Are you kidding?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not kidding. Today¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve ever seen you.¡± ¡®Just pretend you don¡¯t know. The man wouldn¡¯t believe it, but I thought I could buy some time with this.¡¯ I thought I could pull it off. ¡°Rena, have you forgotten me?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I don¡¯t remember you.¡± But I was na?ve, and he was more clever than I thought. As soon as he let go of his initial shock, Calix, the male lead of this novel, spoke with his eyes drooping sadly. ¡°¡­Rena, we were married.¡± ¡®When did we ever?!¡¯ This was all because I failed to escape this novel five years ago. If I were to choose a more fundamental reason, I could point out that I suddenly transmigrated into this novel one day seven years ago. I recalled the first time I transmigrated into this novel, seven years ago, while in the carriage I was forced to ride in after being caught by Calix. *** It was the day after I fell asleep after reading a romance novel, which was my usual hobby. When I opened my eyes, the ceiling in front of me was strange. As soon as I recognized the abnormality, the hand I lifted and looked at wasn¡¯t even my hand. ¡®It¡¯s small, like a child¡¯s hand.¡¯ Immediately after, a loud voice was heard from somewhere. ¡°Regina! Didn¡¯t you say that today is the day the son of the Hertrio family is coming?¡± ¡®The Hertrio family?¡¯ As soon as I recognized the name, a strange feeling of d¨¦j¨¤ vu came over me. ¡°If it¡¯s Hertrio, it¡¯s the family of the male lead in the novel I read yesterday¡­¡± At that moment, the door burst open. Suddenly, I looked up and saw a man appearing. ¡°Regina, how long are you going to stay asleep? I¡¯ve told you many times that you should wake up early today to get ready.¡± The red-haired woman looked at me with a scolding expression. I looked down at my little hands again, still confused about the situation. My head was spinning due to the overflow of information. A thunderbolt of realization struck me. ¡°The romance novel I was reading yesterday¡­¡± I groaned and closed my eyes tightly. I could feel the woman in front of me getting confused when she saw me not even thinking about getting up, but she had no time to care. It was my top priority to understand this absurd situation. Regina Rohelo Troxia. A supporting character in a romance novel I was reading until yesterday, and the first love of the male lead, who dies before the story begins in earnest. I possessed that body. The male protagonist of the novel is Calix Axel Hertrio. When he turned 14, he lost his first love, a childhood friend. It was because Regina¡¯s family, the Troxia family, was falsely accused of treason and therefore, destroyed. Afterwards, the main plot of the novel was Calix, who had lived with his heart closed to others, meeting Frenia, the heroine of the original novel, and together finding out who was behind the false accusations against the Troxia family and uncovering the truth. In the process, the budding affection between Frenia and Calix was a familiar and natural development. And I possessed the first love of the male lead, Calix. Who died at 14! I was 12 years old at the time of my possession. As planned, I was destined to die two years later and leave the novel. But I wasn¡¯t too worried. Wouldn¡¯t it be possible to return to my original world if I exited the novel by dying? That idea came to me all of a sudden. It seemed like such a good idea to me that there was no reason not to give it a try. The role of ¡®the male lead¡¯s first love¡¯ was given to me, and if I finished this role well, I¡¯ll be able to leave the story. If successful, it was an ideal way to return home safely without twisting the development of the original work in order to survive. It bothered me a little that I possessed right before the first meeting with the male lead, but it wasn¡¯t too much of an annoyance. After that, I lived steadily as Regina for two years. After an impressive first meeting with Calix, the male protagonist, I became friends with him for a year while Calix was living with Count Troxia¡¯s family. The following year, Calix stayed with Count Troxia for only three months. As he boarded the carriage back to the Duchy of Hertrio, he regretted our short meeting and parted ways after promising our next meeting. I thought to myself as I watched the carriage with Calix ride away. ¡®The next time you see me will be when I die.¡¯ On that day, Calix would be heading to the Troxia Mansion the day the Troxia family was massacred, with only one single thought: to save Regina. And in the following year, I could see the burning Troxia Mansion in the back and a sheer cliff in front. I closed my eyes for a moment and waited for the next person in the story to come. That is, the male protagonist, Calix Axel Hertrio, who will be traumatized after witnessing my death right in front of his eyes. ¡®I¡¯m a little sorry for giving you such a direct impact, but¡­?¡¯ In the original story, Calix saw Regina being executed on the gallows. Wouldn¡¯t jumping off a cliff be a more reasonable death? As someone who just has to somehow finish the original role in its prescribed order, I chose that option because it was the best out of the few options I had. As planned, Calix will be shocked after witnessing Regiana¡¯s death. And seven years later, the original story will begin. If that is the case, I can leave this world at the same time as Regina¡¯s death and return to my original world. There was a sense of satisfaction as everything was going as it should. The thick smoke from the mansion being burned by the flames travelled all the way here. I tried to ignore it because I felt like I would cry if I looked back at it. I glared at the black night sea waiting to swallow me. Not long after, I heard a rushing sound from behind. ¡°Rena!¡± It wasn¡¯t until the voice calling me got closer that I turned my back around. Close enough to hear each other¡¯s voices, but still so far away that you can never reach out and grab onto each other. Burning flames and smoke were visible in the dark night sky. With that scene in the background, Calix was reaching out to me. It was as if it was a scene from a movie, but only feelings of admiration came out. Calix¡¯s eyes shook mercilessly as if he had an ominous feeling. ¡°Rena, why are you standing there in such a dangerous place? ¡­Come here, huh? Let¡¯s go back to the Hertrio estate together. I will hide you. No one, no one will find you.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Come here, Rena. You¡¯re afraid of the sea. Please.¡± Looking at me without waiting for an answer, Calix spoke again. It was very desperate and sad, like he was soothing a child. ¡°Okay, you stay there. I¡¯ll come. I¡¯ll come over there, so don¡¯t take a single step¡­¡± Looking at his face, I had a slightly different thought. ¡®I¡¯m not afraid of the sea.¡¯ Shortly after entering this novel, Calix stayed at the Troxia Mansion. Calix had caught me looking at the cliff I had chosen as the place I¡¯d die. ¡°Why are you looking at that like that?¡± Calix, whom I had just met, asked me such a question, and I just answered without hesitation or thought. ¡°It¡¯s just that I¡¯m afraid of the sea.¡± ¡°Are you afraid of the sea?¡± ¡®Huh. I just watched it because I was scared of death.¡¯ Perhaps at that time, Calix might have seen something like fear, regret, and determination that I couldn¡¯t hide from my expression as I planned my death. Tuduk. The sound of breaking twigs brought me back to reality in an instant. As soon as Calix took a step forward, I took a step back. ¡°Don¡¯t come closer.¡± ¡°Rena, please.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll jump if you come closer.¡± Those words held Calix in place as if it were magic. I nervously glanced sideways at the burning mansion. There is no time to waste. Soon the knights will come and I will be taken away. Then they will find out Calix was here. I looked down at the cliff behind me. Even with that simple movement of the head, Calix¡¯s face was dishevelled, as if it was going to collapse. ¡°Rena, please. Let me come to you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± What should I say to him? You¡¯ll be alright? It was supposed to be like this. But I felt that whatever I said would be considered deception. No matter what I say, I will die anyway, and nothing will change. I finally stopped talking and took a few more steps toward the cliff. As I approached the edge, there was empty space with nowhere to step. My heart was beating like crazy, as if I had a premonition of the end. It was a struggle to breathe in a little more oxygen in this world. Now this body will be of no use and will cool off at the bottom of the sea. I looked at Calix¡¯s face one last time. I am also a human being, so when I spoke for the last time, my heart was inevitably pounding. I didn¡¯t know what kind of pain my death would give him, so I suddenly felt choked up. But there was nothing I could say. My decision was the same, and my determination of returning to my daily life hasn¡¯t changed. In the end, the same words came out. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Calix.¡± ¡°Rena!!¡± Hearing the male lead¡¯s pitiful cry, I threw myself toward the cliff without hesitation. **** In conclusion, my su!c!de attempt failed. I was discovered by fishermen who were out fishing. You wouldn¡¯t know just how surprised I was when I woke up relatively intact in an unfamiliar cabin. I thought I¡¯d be back in my original world the next time I opened my eyes¡­ The embarrassment and frustration I felt while looking at the unfamiliar ceiling that day was comparable to what I felt the day I came into this world. Was I being too hasty? But I thought that was the only way. It should have been. That day, I began living with a mindset of counting down the days, my only hope being able to escape from this world. The failed escape attempt became a bitter memory of defeat for me. For the next five years, I quietly lived in this world. It could be said that I had finally adapted to living in this world. I didn¡¯t have the courage to try the same thing a second time, especially when the first su!c!de attempt had failed. My hair, which was nearly coral, was dyed black and my long hair was cut short. As Regina, I was stuck in a rural village and worked as a healer with the magic I learned when I was living in the Troxia mansion. It was enough to make a living because I had a talent for magic in my own way. The past five years were spent like that. ¡®I thought I was hiding well!¡¯ As soon as Calix confirmed that it was me, he hugged me for a long time so that I couldn¡¯t run away, and then he dragged me back to the carriage. I looked out the window, pretending to be awkward while thinking about this major accident. Pretending to be amnesic right in front of Calix. CH 2 ¡°Rena, what are you thinking?¡± ¡°¡­¡± Calix has been sitting close to me, not leaving me even for a second since he entered the carriage. He looked at me, certain that I was Regina. I thought hard and opened my mouth. I want to know how he found me. I lived in silence for as long as five years. The Troxia family was destroyed for treason, but no one knew my whereabouts and so they couldn¡¯t find me. No one even recognized me. But what about Calix? ¡°¡­As expected, I think you¡¯ve got the wrong person.¡± The response was quick even to the sudden words. ¡°No way. Do you think I wouldn¡¯t recognize you?¡± ¡°Then¡­¡± At this part, I remembered his crazy lie. ¡°¡­What does your wife look like?¡± My words made Calix put on a sad expression. He whispered with a face reminiscent of the past in an instant. ¡°Rena had coral hair and green eyes.¡± Calix¡¯s face was red as he recalled the past. ¡°Every time you ran in front of me, your flying hair shone brightly in the sunlight, and whenever I looked at it¡­ I was mesmerized.¡± ¡°My hair is black.¡± I cut off his recollections and answered with a grump. That was a relief. The last time I dyed my hair was a week ago. Calix, who quickly returned to reality at my rebuttal, closed his mouth. He murmured stubbornly. ¡°You could have dyed your hair. The color of your eyes remains the same.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t dye my hair. The color of my eyes is just a coincidence.¡± Green eyes were also common. ¡°Then you might have changed it using magic. You were good at magic.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know how to do such high-level magic.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Calix closed his mouth at the stubborn words I uttered as if he were at a loss. I thought he would understand if I talked to this extent, so I asked questions straight away about what I had always been curious about. ¡°How did you find me?¡± Calix¡¯s face lit up at my question. ¡°Are you admitting that you are Rena?¡± ¡°No. I don¡¯t think she lives around here, but I¡¯m just wondering how you knew that I lived in a rural village and therefore came all the way here.¡± He soon sank into a depression. ¡°I was on my way back to the estate after the Emperor¡¯s birthday party, and Lord Warrett had injured his leg. I decided to tie his injury up in a nearby village and asked if there was a doctor, and the village head said there was.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°He told me, ¡¯There is a young and talented healer in the next village, so visit her.¡¯¡± He made eye contact with me. ¡°The chief said that the healer knew how to use magic. Wishfully, I asked him what the healer looked like. He said her eyes were green, but her hair was black.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You can change your hair colour as much as you want. But the other characteristics¡­¡± He was desperate for such a small clue. He said, lowering his head. ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about it the entire time I was riding on horseback coming here. What if it¡¯s really you? But what if I¡¯ve come running like this, and it¡¯s not you? I¡¯ve had so many flickers of hope and disappointments that followed over the past few years that I felt like giving up. But I couldn¡¯t help but think that you¡¯ll be sad because I gave up on you.¡± I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off Calix. I wanted to ignore him, but I couldn¡¯t. I touched and examined his face without realizing it. Calix leaned his face into my hand, glad to see my gaze. ¡°What should I say when I see you again? I thought about whether to be angry, say okay, or say sorry dozens of times. I thought of tying you up as soon as I saw you so that you would never run away from me again, but when I saw you, all I could say was this.¡± He smiled despondently and whispered. ¡°Rena, I missed you.¡± Calix whispered softly and buried his face in my shoulder. I couldn¡¯t bear to push him away as my body became stiff. ¡®What do I do now?¡¯ My mind went in circles. Why I lived in hiding could be roughly narrowed down to two reasons. The first was because I needed to disguise my death because I failed to escape from this world with my death as I had planned, and the second was because I was destined to be executed for treason. It was not good for it to be known that there was a survivor of the family who was destroyed because of treason. Both for me and for Calix. He is someone who doesn¡¯t know that. What the hell was he planning on doing with me? I thought I had been hiding quietly and doing it well, but I didn¡¯t expect to be caught like this. After hearing that there was a young, female magic healer without any other distinctive descriptions, it was clear that Calix, who ran for her without giving up hope, was not an ordinary person. My future does not appear in the original work. Because I was supposed to have died on the gallows. However, if I caught the eyes of the Imperial family while living outside like this, I would be dragged away and sentenced to death. It would be fortunate if I didn¡¯t die in a painful way, as the crimes of running away and repudiation would be added to my sentence as well. I carefully pushed Calix away, who had been hugging me without moving. Falling in an instant, he made a wounded face. I avoided his eyes with guilt. I bowed my head and imitated the innocent face of a country girl. ¡°As expected, I don¡¯t think I am the one you are looking for. My magic skills are insignificant, my hair is black, and I¡¯ve been stuck in the country all my life.¡± ¡°You¡¯re lying.¡± ¡°You seem to have a lot of money and a high status, so don¡¯t waste your time. I think you¡¯d be better off going home now.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t lie.¡± Calix pressed his lips. He looked as if he was about to burst into tears. ¡°You can¡¯t say that if you think about how hard it has been for me to find you.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ve really lost your memory or if you¡¯re only pretending to lose it¡­ ¡­but please, Rena.¡± I cut off Calix¡¯s words, who was trying to gather compassion. ¡°Then how did I end up living in the countryside?¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± I asked him in a defiant tone with a puzzled face. ¡°I heard I married you. How did I end up living in the countryside?¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± He clenched his teeth, closed his eyes slowly, and opened them. His eyes were red when we met. ¡°That¡¯s because I couldn¡¯t protect you, Rena.¡± He spoke painfully, pronouncing every syllable. ¡°It¡¯s my fault.¡± I eventually turned my head away from his eyes. ¡®It¡¯s not that Calix couldn¡¯t protect me, I ran away.¡¯ I didn¡¯t have the confidence to be indifferent when I saw Calix in such pain. Somehow I had lost my temper. There may be no way to get away from him now since we met again like this; if only I ran away without being caught until the end¡­ It was just best to be prepared for the future. Turning my eyes to look outside the window, I opened my mouth quietly. ¡°¡­But I don¡¯t think I would have married you.¡± ¡°¡­Why?¡± ¡°Your face is not to my liking.¡± ¡°¡­¡± He looked really shocked this time. *** The place where Calix took me was the village where his party was supposed to stay overnight. It was a place I had been to a few times because it was the neighbouring village. It was not unfamiliar to me because I had been asked for help a few times when someone was injured or sick. The village head who recognized me looked happy. ¡°Oh, I told him that there was an outstanding healer in the next village, it¡¯s good that he found you and brought you here.¡± ¡°Haha, yes¡­¡± I didn¡¯t want to blame the chief because he said it out of kindness. I¡¯d just have to blame my bad luck. ¡°This is Lord Warrett.¡± Calix clasped my hand and introduced me to Sir Warrett. I could see the knights of the ducal family waiting for him, their eyes expressing concern, but Calix shook his head briefly to block all the questions. I pretended not to know and went to Lord Warrett to examine the wound. It seemed to be broken. ¡°How did this happen?¡± My question was answered by Sir Warrett, who struggled to rise. ¡°I was chasing a rabbit while camping, and I fell off a small cliff.¡± I could hear the knights waiting next to him each adding their thoughts. ¡°Why weren¡¯t you being careful?¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I told you to stay alert.¡± ¡°From now on, I¡¯m not going to send you on a night hunt. I¡¯m going to get worried sick.¡± Most of them were affectionate quarrels. A simple healing spell was performed to attach the broken leg together and a splint was applied. ¡°Still, it¡¯s better to be careful so that you don¡¯t die¡± Sir Warrett bowed his head and said thank you. I bowed my head and answered that it was nothing, but there was a sudden hand that wrapped around my waist. Even though it was not an unfamiliar touch, I was surprised and jumped. I saw the faces of the flagship knights. When I turned my head to the side, I saw Calix¡¯s face, which was close by. We were close enough that our breaths mingled. For a moment, my legs almost turned into jelly. Calix whispered into my ear in a captivating voice. ¡°Then shall we go up to the room?¡± ¡°Room?¡± ¡°We¡¯re going to stay here today.¡± ¡°But why me as well¡­?¡± ¡°Why not?¡± Calix interrupted me and smiled. ¡°It¡¯s natural for a couple to use one room.¡± Without a moment to say anything back, Calix dragged me up to the inn room. The knights seemed to be shocked by their Lord¡¯s reckless attitude. Calix ignored them all. As soon as I entered the room, Calix, who closed the door tightly, turned toward me. ¡°Now it can just be the two of us.¡± ¡°I think you¡¯re misunderstanding something¡­¡± ¡°Misunderstanding? What misunderstanding?¡± ¡°I am not the person you are looking for.¡± ¡°Ah, are you talking about that again?¡± Calix smiled. It was a smile, but it didn¡¯t look like a smile that was genuinely happy. As he approached me, I had no choice but to step back. I was too focused on the face of Calix, who was approaching me, so I couldn¡¯t look behind me enough. When the bed touched the back of my legs, I naturally collapsed. Calix leaned over me as I sat down. At close range, he opened his mouth. CH 3 ¡°Tell me, Rena. Do you really not know who I am?¡± ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know who you are.¡± ¡°Yeah? Then why didn¡¯t you ask me for my name?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± As I raised my head, I realized how close his face was to mine. ¡°When you meet a stranger, shouldn¡¯t you ask for their name first? However, you didn¡¯t ask me for any information about myself. No ¡®What¡¯s your name?¡¯, ¡®What are you doing?¡¯, ¡®Where are you from?¡¯¡­¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t even ask me for my name.¡± ¡°I know your name. Regina Rohelo Troxia.¡± ¡°¡­¡± In shock, I forgot what to say in response to him being overly certain that I was Regina. I don¡¯t think he was like this when I was younger, during the time we were both living in the Troxia Estate. ¡°¡­Ah.¡± A sudden realization hit me. The Calix in front of me is the Calix of the original work, whose personality darkened after the loss of his first love, not the innocent young boy I had known when I was younger. Originally, Frenia, the heroine of the original, would have been the one to deal with his temper. ¡®Because I am alive, I¡¯m the one who¡¯s going to take the heat.¡¯ Realizing that made me lament my situation, having been caught off guard and running headfirst into Calix. I raised my eyes and asked Calix, who was still waiting for my reply. ¡°Then what¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°Calix.¡± ¡°¡­After that?¡± ¡°Calix Axel Hertrio.¡± Calix Axel Hertrio. I quietly rolled the name on my tongue. I¡¯ve thought about it a lot, but it¡¯s a name I¡¯ve never said out loud. The inner longing that I myself had forgotten about began to rise. Looking at what I was doing, Calix spoke up. ¡°You¡¯re not surprised.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°That my last name is Hertrio.¡± ¡°Should I be surprised?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like that.¡± He shook his head and stood up. ¡°If this was your first meeting with the duke of this kingdom, you should at least be showing some sincerity by pretending to be surprised. That¡¯s why I don¡¯t believe that you don¡¯t know me.¡± ¡°¡­¡± I looked up at him blankly without answering. Calix also looked down at me without opening his mouth. It was as if he was trying to see how stubborn I could be. Our invisible game of tug-of-war continued for a while before Calix declared defeat. At some point, he bent down in front of me with a completely ruined face. It was as if he had given up on holding on, that he no longer wanted to pretend that he was okay anymore. Out of fear, I grabbed his arm without realizing it. But Calix lowered his stance without even looking at my face. He bent down in front of the bed, stretched out his arms and wrapped them around my waist. Calix buried his face in my legs. I could feel his breath creeping in and out over my skin and tried to ignore it, but it was now faster for him to grab onto my hand. As he held onto my body tightly, as if he was trying to prevent me from going anywhere, a weak voice that seemed like it could break at any time came out from below. ¡°Rena¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Rena, are you right?¡± I looked down at the back of his head without saying anything. I had the urge to stroke his hair for a moment, but I couldn¡¯t do anything. All I could do was leave my trembling hands alone, where they were. It was fortunate that Calix kept his head down. If our eyes met now, he would surely realize that I was remembering him. A mumble escaped from his chapped lips. ¡°I understand if you want to forget everything and pretend you don¡¯t know. I won¡¯t ask why. You can pretend you don¡¯t know anything if you want.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Just let me stay by your side.¡± It was a tearful voice. My heart became weakened. ¡°Calix¡­¡± It was at that moment, when I unconsciously called out his name and reached out my hand. Calix raised his head and grabbed onto my shoulders. In an instant, my angle of sight changed. I was deceived. While I was groaning, I ended up lying on the bed underneath Calix. ¡°Rena.¡± He grabbed my defiant wrist and pressed it down onto the bed. I was stuck between his legs and couldn¡¯t move. The first thing that I thought was that I had made a mistake. ¡°If you don¡¯t let go of me right away¡­¡± I clenched my teeth, but Calix cut me off with a relaxed expression. ¡°What if I don¡¯t let go? Are you going to shout and call for someone? If you do so, will there be someone who will come running to rescue you, a humble commoner?¡± Was he going to use his magic to hurt me? His face became clouded with frustration. Calix looked down at me, staying still. I could tell from the scrutiny of his gaze on my face that he was looking for traces of the past. I shouldn¡¯t have gotten swept up in the mood and called him by his name. I tried to avoid his gaze, feeling as though he could see my raw emotions, but Calix was faster. He placed his head beside mine. I felt a tingling pain in my ear. ¡°Ouch!¡± A low-pitched laugh was heard. He lightly bit my earlobe again. It was like he was punishing a disobedient child. Then, pressing his lips to my temples, he opened his mouth. ¡°Let¡¯s go back to the Hertrio Estate together, Rena.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You will have nothing to worry about. I promise.¡± He added that all I needed to do was just stay by his side. I kept my mouth shut. When he did not hear an answer, he proceeded to kiss the bottom of my ear and the nape of my neck, as if urging me to answer him. His actions were tenacious; it was like he was testing how far I could endure. Every place his lips touched felt hot, like my skin had been branded at those spots. The tingling sensation tingled down all the way to my toes. ¡°Wait, wait, wait¡­¡± Without realizing it, I lifted my free hand and wrapped it around his wide shoulders. I held onto his shirt until it crumpled. Somehow, in that brief moment of confusion, my brain couldn¡¯t think straight. Using ragged gasps to breathe, it was as though I was running out of oxygen. I reached out and pushed Calix¡¯s shoulder once I came to my senses. Even though I could only push very weakly because I had no strength, he quietly backed away. Even without looking into a mirror, I could tell that my face would be red-hot right now. I hated Calix, who, on the other hand, seemed so perfectly normal. He was even the one who started it all. I glanced at his calm face, took a deep breath, and opened my mouth. ¡°There¡¯s still a problem.¡± ¡°What problem?¡± ¡°I heard that my name is Regina Rohelo Troxia.¡± ¡°Right, that¡¯s your name.¡± Calix¡¯s attitude was too calm. Couldn¡¯t he see what the problem was? He saw the sight of the burning mansion with me that night. ¡°The entire Troxia family is dead because they had committed treason. Based on what you said, I think I¡¯d be better off hiding in the countryside like this.¡± ¡°¡­Is that why you¡¯ve been staying here all this time?¡± Something didn¡¯t make sense. A big sigh came out without my knowledge. He must have thought that sigh had some sort of meaning, as Calix hurriedly stood up and helped me up. ¡°I know what you¡¯re worried about, but don¡¯t worry. You¡¯ll be fine in my estate.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not just anything, it¡¯s treason.¡± ¡°It was a false accusation.¡± ¡°Even if it really is false, that statement is useless unless the truth could be revealed.¡± Calix replied to me sadly. ¡°I¡¯ll take care of that.¡± He doesn¡¯t know what he¡¯s doing, but he¡¯s good at saying that he¡¯ll fix it. I raised my finger again, wondering how he would address my next problem. ¡°I still have another problem.¡± ¡°Sh!t. What is it this time?¡± ¡°According to you, we are married. There must be someone at the Duke¡¯s residence who would be able to recognize me, would that be okay?¡± ¡°Uh¡­?¡± If I were really the Duchess of Hertrio, there would be no reason not to spread rumours about the Duchess returning home. Calix looked at me with a dumbfounded expression. I could see his eyes blinking helplessly. ¡°Rena. You must have really lost your memory.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°No, no. I was talking nonsense.¡± He rubbed his face with his hands. His face, which was revealed again before long, had a degree of seriousness that I had never seen before. ¡°It¡¯ll be fine. It¡¯s been a long time since we got married¡­¡± ¡°¡­And when we got married, we lived in the Troxia estate, not the Hertrio estate¡­¡± ¡®Look at him?!¡¯ I managed to shut my mouth, which was about to open in response to his absurdity. Did you think that the year you spent in Troxia was spent being a son-in-law? I wanted to refute this nonsense immediately, but unfortunately, I was currently playing the role of an amnesic person. The show must go on whether he believed me or not. Calix avoided my gaze and looked down. No matter how impudent his slightly blushing face was, he must have felt ashamed. Calix cautiously opened his mouth. ¡°And, you didn¡¯t use honorifics for me in the past. So, I want you to stop using them.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t I just a humble commoner?¡± ¡°Then this is an order.¡± The word ¡®bastard¡¯ rose in my throat, but I just nodded obediently. I was reaching the end of my limit in terms of using honorifics for him while I had to pretend not to know him, anyways. ¡°Then don¡¯t use them anymore. As soon as the sun rises tomorrow, we will depart for the Hertrio estate.¡± This time, I also looked straight into Calix¡¯s blue eyes. ¡®It seems like nothing had been resolved.¡¯ What has already happened is what had happened. It happened that I, too, was starting to grow tired of living in such a rural area without being able to go out comfortably. I decided to think as positively as possible. I meekly nodded. ¡°¡­Yes, Calix.¡± So, I made an irreversible choice. *** Late at night, Calix Axel Hertrio was sitting by the low light of the lamp and looked down at the sleeping Regina lying on the bed. His Regina¡¯s face was exactly the same as the one he had pictured in his mind over and over again during the past five years. She was more mature than the last time he saw her, she had developed a womanly femininity, but aside from that she was not different from what he had imagined. There was no way he wouldn¡¯t be able to recognize Regina in the first place. Even in his dreams, he had seen her face. He thought he¡¯d never be able to forget her face for the rest of his entire life. There¡¯s no way she doesn¡¯t know that¡­ He thought of Regina, who had claimed she didn¡¯t know him, and unconsciously clenched his fist. ¡°Rena.¡± It was not that he didn¡¯t know how she was pretending not to remember him. ¡°You don¡¯t have to do that to me.¡± There was no answer from the sleeping person. CH 4 For a long time, Calix looked down at Regina, who was sleeping without moving a muscle. It still felt like a dream¡ªbeing able to find her. This was what he had been hoping for the past five years, but now he felt nervous because this reality didn¡¯t feel real. If this was all just dream, he hoped that he would never wake up. He¡¯d rather die while in a sweet nightmare like this. ¡®I will greet a nightmare like this with a smile over and over again¡­¡¯ At that moment, there was a faint knock coming from the door, awakening Calix from his thoughts. The knock was quiet, as though the person on the other side of the door was being considerate of the person sleeping. Calix looked at Regina¡¯s face one more time before getting up to greet the visitor himself. ¡°Ishar.¡± The person who entered was one of the knights of Duke Hertrio. ¡°Did you bring it?¡± ¡°Yes. I was able to find the healer¡¯s house quickly by asking the villagers.¡± Calix took what Ishar had brought. ¡°As you had ordered, I brought all of her personal belongings aside from her clothes. There wasn¡¯t that much, but¡­¡± At a voice that seemed to have more to say, Calix raised his head, shifting his attention from the belongings to the knight. There seemed to be a hint of hesitation in the knight¡¯s voice. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°¡­Among the trash that was put out to be thrown away, there was hair dye.¡± ¡°¡­Hair dye?¡± At that moment, Calix could clearly feel the joy bursting out from his body. ¡°Yes. I understand it was rude to look through the lady¡¯s trash, but my lord had ordered to not miss even a single hair and look through everything¡­¡± ¡°No. Well done.¡± Calix hastily interrupted Ishar. He turned around with her belongings before calling for Ishar, remembering that there was something else he wanted to say. Ishar bowed his head in response. ¡°Yes, my lord.¡± ¡°Tomorrow morning, as soon as the sun rises, we¡¯ll be leaving. In addition¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­The carriage will only be taken for half of the journey. As soon as we arrive at Pensir, we¡¯ll transfer to the train, so be aware. Relay this information to the rest of the knights as well.¡± ¡°You mean you¡¯ll be taking the train at Pensir?¡± Ishar asked back, trying to confirm whether what he just heard was what was really being said. He continued with a questioning tone. ¡°Don¡¯t you know that if you take the train from Pensir to Hertrio, you¡¯ll have to turn around before actually reaching your destination? How come¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯ve changed my mind. The carriage will be left to the knights, so go to Hertrio first.¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡± Though Ishar felt differently about this matter on the inside, he did not express any disagreement on the outside and bowed his head. All of the vassals of the duke knew that their young lord hated looking at the sea. On more than one occasion, he had refused invitations from the imperial palace, citing that between the capital, where the palace was located, and Hertrio, there was a road that went along the coast. Apparently, the duke¡¯s patience seemed to have reached its end, and he was now going to take a train that was going to run inland, out of sight from the sea. Ishar made sense of the situation in his own way. Then, without realizing it, he glanced sideways at the dark-haired girl, who could be seen through the door. He couldn¡¯t stop his curious gaze that was travelling to her face. He didn¡¯t realize before that she was the owner of the belongings that he¡¯d been searching through the trash for. It was the first time that his master had brought a woman into his room. Ishar couldn¡¯t believe that his lord brought a woman that he met for the first time today into such a space, especially when there¡¯s been no previous connection. Calix, who saw Ishar¡¯s gaze go to Regina, turned slightly and blocked Ishar¡¯s gaze. Ishar, who realized that he had been caught, bowed his head in embarrassment. ¡°She¡¯ll be coming with me, too.¡± Without any warning, Calix had blurted those words out. Ishar looked at him with a startled look for a moment before quickly bowing his head again, answering, ¡°Yes.¡± He should have vaguely expected this from the moment he was ordered to bring back all of the belongings from the lady¡¯s house. He just hoped that this time, his lord would be able to escape his long solitude. After Ishar had left, Calix returned to the chair beside the bed and looked through Regina¡¯s belongings. After bringing Regina with him, he secretly ordered Ishar to bring all of the belongings from the healer¡¯s house in the neighbouring village. There was nothing special in the things Ishar had brought back. There were only simple things, as they had been retrieved from a house where a woman lived alone. There were a few books on magic, miscellaneous trinkets here and there, and a handful of valuables. And a loaded pistol. That was nothing special, too. There was something else that was more important than that. Calix pushed all of Regina¡¯s belongings aside and became lost in thought. ¡°Hair dye.¡± He could tell what colour it was without needing to ask. Calix looked at her pitch-dark black hair. Her coral-coloured hair, which shone every time the sunlight illuminated her hair, was nowhere to be found. But from the moment he first saw her again, he knew that she was the Regina he had been looking for. Nevertheless, it was inevitable that there was still some anxiety in his mind. What if this person wasn¡¯t Regina? What if this person wasn¡¯t Rena? But now there was unmistakable evidence, and all he¡¯d have to do is take her back with a light heart. If he took her back to his estate and kept her hidden so well that no one would be able to see her, it would be fine. But why was he feeling so anxious even though he knew this fact well? It felt as though he was deceiving the Grim Reaper by pulling wool over its eyes and forcibly fulfilling his own desires. Calix bowed his head over Regina¡¯s face, who was sleeping on the bed. Regina was laying on her side, fast asleep. When he first saw her again, she pretended not to know who he was and was on edge because of that, but as soon as she decided to come along with him, she quickly fell asleep with a relaxed face, like that of a kitten¡¯s. ¡°¡­Should I take you away now?¡± If he decided to do so, he could be able to find a piece of land where two people could live without any difficulty. Yes, if it could only be two of them together¡­ But that couldn¡¯t happen. Regina had to go to Hertrio, and eventually back to Troxia. Calix climbed onto the bed and gently raised Regina¡¯s head and pulled out the pillow from underneath her. He then quickly put his arm in the spot the pillow formerly occupied. Following that, he wrapped his other arm around Regina¡¯s shoulder and hugged her closely. He wanted to feel her breath closer to him. Regina, who was slightly disturbed in her sleep, frowned and made a murmuring sound, but Calix was even pleased with that. How many times has he dreamed that he could only hug a cold body, one that couldn¡¯t give him an answer when he was begging her not to be dead? If he could, he wanted to take in all her breaths. ¡°¡­Rena.¡± The person in question had a comforting warmth, proving that she was alive. It was also clear that her chest went up and down regularly with each breath. Nevertheless, Calix, unable to resist the rising anxiety, tightened his hold on Regina, embracing her. He didn¡¯t want her to be taken away by anyone. Not again. Even if it was Regina herself who was taking her away from him. With his lips buried in Regina¡¯s hair, Calix quietly opened his mouth. ¡°If you want to forget everything and pretend you don¡¯t know, I¡¯ll gladly follow your lead.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s great in its own way. When else would I be able to marry you, right? When we were younger, I had proposed to you but you rejected me. I was serious back then¡­ haha.¡± Regina did not give him a reply. Knowing that she was asleep, Calix glanced down at her face for no particular reason. He was scared for a moment at the sight of her eyes closed quietly, and he could not find any peace until he heard the sounds of her breathing regularly. ¡°When I get back, I¡¯ll start preparing your room first.¡± It was easy to imagine Regina there, living with him in his estate. He¡¯s pictured that scene countless times over the past 5 years, after all. But the difference is that this time, instead of it being his imagination, she would be there next to him, alive and well, and knowing that filled Calix with a sense of fulfillment. With deep satisfaction Calix closed his eyes, hugging her as she was. *** Calix Axel Hertrio first met Regina Rohelo Troxia in the year he turned 12. A letter came in a few days after his parents¡¯ funeral. The sender was someone he knew. The Count of Troxia. He had come to Calix¡¯s parents¡¯ funeral and greeted him. When the previous Duke and his wife asked their son to visit the county of Troxia sometime in the near future, Calix quickly set off on a journey without much consideration. It wasn¡¯t because he was curious about what his parents had asked him to do; It was just because he didn¡¯t want to think and worry about anything in the face of an unfamiliar concept of death. At the end of his journey, he met a girl who seemed disinterested in all that was going on in the world. Her bored eyes held nothing in them as she stared off into the distance. ¡®Regina, this is Lord Hertrio.¡¯ Regina¡¯s head turned around at the words of Count Troxia. She blinked, and at that moment, Regina¡¯s eyes reflected Calix. Her dull eyes sparkled with life. It was as though she had known about him all this time. And she opened her mouth. ¡®You¡¯re Calix Axel Hertrio. Life has become very tiring for both you and me.¡¯ For Calix, there had never been a more intense first meeting. There wouldn¡¯t be anything like that in the future. Regina Rohelo Troxia. That name was immediately imprinted into Calix¡¯s head. *** As soon as I woke up the next day, I realized something was wrong. I was in someone¡¯s arms. A firm arm was wrapped around me. I must have gone to bed alone last night. When I slowly looked up, my eyes met with blue eyes looking down at me. Calix¡¯s eyes narrowed gently. He had a low voice in the morning. ¡°Did you sleep well, honey?¡± At that pet name, yesterday¡¯s events quickly flashed through my mind. I finished remembering and analyzing the situation in 0.1 seconds. His absurd lie, claiming that we were married. Of course, that doesn¡¯t mean that what Calix is doing made sense to me. ¡®Has he really gone crazy?¡¯ Is he determined to continue this ridiculous play? Regardless of this absurd situation, I had no intention of losing, so I looked up at him and smiled. ¡°I slept well. Honey, did you sleep well?¡± ¡°¡­Yes.¡± Unlike his nonchalant countenance, I could see that Calix¡¯s ears were red. I got out of bed, internally celebrating with a snort of victory. Calix then rose from the bed and opened his mouth. ¡°As soon as we eat breakfast, we¡¯ll leave. I¡¯ve already informed the knights.¡± ¡°Before that, I want to go home and get my belongings.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to. I¡¯ve already sent my knights to get your belongings.¡± ¡°You brought it here?¡± I looked back at him in amazement. Calix was pointing to my belongings, currently placed on the bedside table. I immediately recognized my belongings in the large bag. Small valuables and personal items, books, and so forth. Fortunately, there was no hair dye in that bag. Thankfully, I used up all of the hair dye I had bought a week ago and threw it away into the trash. ¡°¡­You didn¡¯t bring my clothes?¡± ¡°When we arrive at the estate, you will be bought new clothes.¡± ¡°What will I wear on the way?¡± ¡°You can buy clothes on the way. I¡¯ve already prepared a simple outfit.¡± What the hell did he do while I was sleeping last night? I nodded, tongue in cheek at his immense power, which I had realized the scale of again just now. ¡°Wash up and come out. I¡¯ll be waiting on the first floor.¡± ¡°¡­Yes.¡± Calix, who had finished speaking, left the room. When I entered the bathroom attached to the room, I saw neatly folded clothes. There, I caught a glimpse of Calix¡¯s sword-like personality. ¡°You must really mean it.¡± Somehow I felt like I had crossed a river that didn¡¯t have a way for me to return back. *** Hi guys, as you know we are a free-to-read website and we only survive on ads. However, ads are not able to help us much longer. If you like what we do and have any spare, please consider supporting us to keep us alive: Link Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed what you have read, do consider tipping us a little through: click here. Once we receive 4$, an advance chapter will be posted as a thank you. Don¡¯t forget to mention the series that you¡¯re supporting! CH 5 After I finished getting ready, I went downstairs to the first floor. There, I saw the knights of Duke Hertrio occupying a table in the inn. As soon as I descended the stairs, the chattering stopped. Before I even realized it, I had spotted Calix amongst the strangers. As soon as I turned my gaze, I saw the familiar face sitting quietly. When he noticed my entry, he stood up and approached me. ¡°Rena, come here.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Calix.¡± I approached Calix, ignoring the surprised knight next to me who had his mouth wide open in shock. He took my hand and sat me down next to him. ¡°What do you want to eat? Would you like some milk?¡± Nodding my head, the shrewd innkeeper went straight into the kitchen. I looked at Calix, who was sitting next to me, and decided to try my luck. ¡°I still want to stop by my house before I leave.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Why?¡± Seeing his face harden in an instant, I suddenly felt the need to make up an excuse, fiddling with the cup of milk the innkeeper had brought me in the meantime. ¡°I think I¡¯ll have to say goodbye to the villagers.¡± ¡°You can write them a letter. We can ask the mayor of this village to deliver it for you, as well. Since it¡¯s the neighbouring village, he should be able to deliver it right away, hm?¡± The way he soothed me by holding my hand and gently rubbing it with his thumb was familiar, like he had done it a few times before. Rather than answering Calix, I looked at his face instead. ¡°Rena?¡± Calix called out to me; he was probably feeling anxious after I didn¡¯t say anything in response. After a moment of silence, I finally nodded my head. ¡°¡­¡­Okay.¡± This was my karma, I couldn¡¯t help it. Every time Calix looked at me, I could clearly see his true feelings. His anxiety, fearing that I might disappear at any moment; his restlessness, not wanting to let go of me and have me out of his sight. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t feel good about this situation. It was one thing to say, ¡°I didn¡¯t know¡±, in response to the characters, the heroine and the male lead, saying they could take care of themselves and another to actually see the consequences of my actions in front of me. I hid my complex thoughts, choosing to simply nod my head. When I agreed with his suggestion, Calix¡¯s face brightened. ¡°You must be hungry. What would you like to eat?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll have the same thing as you.¡± He looked down at the food in front of him. ¡°I have an omelette. Are you okay with that?¡± ¡°Yeah. I like omelettes.¡± ¡°Okay. Let¡¯s go and eat something more delicious.¡± Calix rubbed my cheek and ordered breakfast for me. I could see the knights around us watching in horror and awe. In particular, the knight closest to us had his mouth open so wide it seemed that his chin fell off. But neither Calix nor I cared about them. I felt like I could clearly see what the upcoming journey ahead would be like. *** After breakfast, Calix, in a natural manner, followed me into the carriage. I had entrusted my letters, which were addressed to the villagers, to the chief of the village. After some contemplation, I decided to add a message to the ends of the letters, saying that if anything were to happen, they¡¯d be able to find me in the Duchy of Hertrio. Calix didn¡¯t seem to mind me adding that part in. As soon as I sat down in the carriage, I looked out the window and started thinking again. I decided to ignore Calix, who was fiddling with my hand and trying to get closer to me. I met the male lead again, someone whom I thought I would never meet again. Not to mention, we met again under the worst circumstances imaginable. Whatever¡¯s happened has already happened, and now all I could really do was prepare for what¡¯s going to come ahead. What I should really be caring about most was¡­ The supporting character who should have died but now is the only survivor of a family that was framed for treason, Regina Rohelo Troxia. In other words, me. How will the course of events, the future development of the original work, be affected by my staying by the male lead¡¯s side? More importantly, how would this situation affect my safety? My original plan to escape from this world through death had failed so miserably that I didn¡¯t have the strength to come up with another one, choosing to live for five years without a plan instead. But I couldn¡¯t do that from now on. It was time for me to plan for my survival. If I left my life up to chance, it would probably turn out for the worst. ¡®¡­¡­The problem is that I can¡¯t remember any of the content in the original work properly. ¡® At that moment, Calix¡¯s voice awakened me from my thoughts. He was asking me while stroking my hand at the same time. ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Uh? Just¡­ This is the first time I¡¯ve been out of town, that¡¯s all.¡± This was the first time I had left the village and the area immediately surrounding it since being rescued and settling down five years ago, so I technically wasn¡¯t lying. At my words, Calix rubbed his forehead against my shoulder and said, ¡°Once we arrive in Pensir, we will be taking the train. It must be your first time taking the train as well.¡± Startled, I looked away from the window and turned to him. ¡°Train? We won¡¯t be taking the carriage all the way to the duchy?¡± ¡°Yes. I get motion sickness if I only ride in a carriage. I prefer to take the train.¡± I¡¯ve never had carriage sickness in the past. Did you get motion sickness? ¡®Is it because of your motion sickness that you are sticking next to me like a piece of gum?¡¯ Thinking that way made him seem a bit pitiful. My heart felt weak, especially with the way he was leaning on my shoulder due to his motion sickness. ¡°Are you okay now? Do you want to lie down somewhere?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. I want to stay like this.¡± ¡°Alright. If it doesn¡¯t get better, tell me.¡± Calix smiled lightly and rested his head on my shoulder. His neck must be sore because I¡¯m so short compared to him, wasn¡¯t it uncomfortable for him? However, since he seemed so satisfied, I didn¡¯t say anymore and proceeded to look out the window again. My previously interrupted thoughts continued. It was an obvious problem that I could barely remember anything from the original novel. I¡¯d be a step ahead if I remembered. But, it was a novel I read seven years ago. If anyone could remember a novel from that long ago, that would be even weirder. After I had decided to escape from this world, I stopped caring about it because the story was going to develop as usual without me. If I had known that this was going to happen, I would have memorized as much information as possible. The only things that came to mind were the description of the female lead¡¯s appearance and the location of the first kiss between the female lead and the male lead, as well as the appearance of the burning building. Calix had saved the heroine from almost dying, at one point as well. ¡®How did the female lead and male lead meet in the first place?¡¯ Calix needed the information the female lead knew. In the original story, Calix always referred to the female lead as Renia. I don¡¯t know if it was her nickname or her real name, or if that name came from his dead first love¡¯s name. Two things were for certain. The Troxia family committing treason was a false accusation, and that someone wants me dead. That person is still freely walking around outside. After riding the carriage for a long time, I suddenly had an idea and turned my head, facing Calix, feeling a bit mischievous. ¡°Calix.¡± ¡°Hm?¡± ¡°You said we got married. Who was the one to propose?¡± ¡°Uh¡­¡­?¡± I didn¡¯t miss the fluctuating eyes of Calix, who was flustered. ¡°Who said ¡®I like you¡¯ first?¡± I couldn¡¯t stop the playfulness in me from coming out. I wanted to hear Calix¡¯s answer. I wanted to see what he would say, so I deliberately asked him in a mischievous way. Calix slowly closed and opened his eyes, meeting mine. Gently closing those bright blue eyes once again, he opened his mouth. ¡°Of course, you asked me to marry you first.¡± ¡°Huh¡­.?¡± ¡°When you were a kid, you fell for me and followed me around. After a week of our meeting, you asked me to marry you.¡± ¡°Did I say that¡­?¡± ¡°Yeah. That¡¯s right.¡± It was clear what he was implying. ¡®Are you still going to pretend you don¡¯t know me?¡¯ However, I didn¡¯t want to admit defeat with my own hands now either. I nodded my head innocently, acting as though I didn¡¯t know anything. ¡°I see, then I must remember you quickly. I suppose it was love at first sight then, but now I feel sorry because your face isn¡¯t to my liking. I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t fall for you at first sight again, like back then.¡± ¡°That¡¯s alright, you will remember it later.¡± Calix kissed me on the cheek. The curtain on such an elaborate scam has risen. I pretended not to remember him, and Calix pretended to be fooled by me even though he knows my words were all lies. It was a scam where there were only cheaters and no victims. *** I was the one who told Calix to go to sleep when he felt tired, but I ended up falling asleep first. I couldn¡¯t stand the increasingly boring journey, being in a carriage for several hours while only seeing the same scenery. ¡®Would you like to sleep if you¡¯re tired?¡¯ ¡°If you¡¯re tired, would you want to sleep?¡± I couldn¡¯t resist Calix¡¯s offer and leaned on him, unable to resist the way he nuzzled me as he spoke. When I came to my sense, I was lying on the carriage seat, my head on Calix¡¯s thigh. Sigh. I could feel Calix¡¯s touch, who was wistfully stroking my shortened hair with regret. I could sense the calmness in the air surrounding him even though my eyes were closed, so I continued to pretend to be asleep, although I did feel embarrassed for some reason. Then, just as I was actually falling asleep again, I heard a knock on the carriage door. At the same time, I noticed that the carriage was no longer moving and had stopped somewhere. ¡°Come on in.¡± Click. The door of the carriage opened, and the voice of the man I assumed to be Calix¡¯s knight could be heard. It was the same voice I had heard in the morning. ¡°When will you be leaving?¡± The knight didn¡¯t seem to be impatient and demanding for an answer. Calix gently patted me on the shoulder. ¡°In a little while. I don¡¯t want to wake up a sleeping child.¡± There was a hint of laughter in Calix¡¯s reply. In an instant, I was treated as a ¡®sleeping child¡¯. I was so embarrassed that I desperately tried to act like I was still sleeping so he wouldn¡¯t have known that I¡¯d already woken up. The knight asked. ¡°She is¡­?¡± Only then did I realize that Calix had yet to explain a word about who I was to his knights. I held my breath still, wondering what he was going to say. I felt Calix¡¯s long fingers graze my cheek. He opened his mouth with an air of hesitation. ¡°¡­The Wizard of the Territory.¡± ¡°A wizard? Didn¡¯t you say you¡¯d never let in a wizard to your territory? Is there any reason why you changed your mind?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± What did you mean by a ¡®wizard¡¯. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t have to wait any longer.¡± ¡®Wizard!¡¯ Did Calix intend to take me in as a wizard? You were confident that there was a way. Was this the way? Cheating me in as a commoner wizard? ¡®You told me you¡¯d take me as your wife.¡¯ ¡°Very well. I¡¯ll tell Mier to prepare the wizard¡¯s room in the east wing of the mansion.¡± ¡°No. Have her room be the room right next to mine.¡± ¡°¡­The room next to Your Excellency¡¯s room?¡± I could feel the knight panicking from here. Calix continued on regardless. ¡°All the furniture inside that room is to be the same as the ones in my room, the best.¡± ¡°¡­I have received your order. Do you have any other instructions?¡± ¡°¡­One more thing.¡± For a moment, there was a hint of hesitation. *** Hi guys, as you know we are a free-to-read website and we only survive on ads. However, ads are not able to help us much longer. If you like what we do and have any spare, please consider supporting us to keep us alive: Link Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed what you have read, do consider tipping us a little through: click here. Once we receive 4$, an advance chapter will be posted as a thank you. Don¡¯t forget to mention the series that you¡¯re supporting! CH 6 ¡°You can tell the people in the mansion that she¡¯s a wizard, but don¡¯t let anyone talk to Regina about that.¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡­?¡± ¡°I lied to Rena a little bit.¡± Calix looked a little bit embarrassed as he said that. ¡°It¡¯s a lie that will be exposed soon anyways, but I still want to enjoy it as much as I can before I get caught.¡± As expected, the knight couldn¡¯t understand the true meaning behind Calix¡¯s words. Of course he couldn¡¯t. If anyone suddenly said words like that, who would be able to understand? Calix must have realized that too, and soon changed the topic. ¡°Just tell them not to talk to Regina first until I give them instructions.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Yes.¡± Following that, he gave instructions for what the knights who were to arrive first at Hertrio Mansion to do, and after, the knight greeted him before he left. ¡°Then I¡¯ll see you again at Hertrio.¡± ¡°Yes, my lord.¡± The sound of the carriage door clicking shut could be heard. I was still pretending to be asleep with my head on Calix¡¯s thigh. I continued to keep my eyes and thought about what to do with him. In fact, now that I think about it, the ¡®Regina-a-commoner-wizard-with-capable- abilities-who-was-scouted-from-a-rural-village¡¯ plan that Calix had come up with has the highest success rate. Those who knew me and are close to Calix will eventually find out who I really am someday, anyways. ¡®Until that happens, I have to hide my existence as much as possible.¡¯ Regina, the commoner wife of Duke Hertrio and Regina, the young lady of Troxia who was said to have died, are both equally as dangerous. Being Regina, the commoner witch, would be best. But despite knowing that, I still felt bad. The reason being I hated what Calix was doing. Why didn¡¯t he tell me the most important thing? I think he wanted to continue playing as a married couple until we reached his estate, where I would end up learning the truth. ¡®Is this the time for us to do something like that?¡¯ I was dumbfounded, speechless. How long was Calix planning on enjoying watching me, clumsily pretending to be his wife, after we arrived at his estate? As I tossed and turned, his regular pats on my shoulder turned into a gentle caress. ¡°Sleep some more.¡± I don¡¯t want to. ¡°The train still has a long way to go before it leaves¡­¡± You¡¯re going to try to do something else while I¡¯m asleep, aren¡¯t you. However, even that resolution couldn¡¯t stop the rushing waves of sleepiness, and I quickly fell back, falling asleep. *** Flash. My eyes suddenly opened; it was like I had finally come to my senses from my nap. They couldn¡¯t adjust to the light right away when I opened them, so I had to blink for a few seconds. Ah. It seems that I said out loud the name that had immediately come to mind. ¡°¡­Calix.¡± With a murmur that sounded like a groan, I came back to my senses. As I got up, I heard a pleased voice next to me. ¡°It is an honour that you looked for me as soon as you woke up. ¡± ¡°Calix.¡± I turned my head to see Calix reading the newspaper, his legs crossed. Our eyes met, and he closed one of his eyes as he put away the newspaper he was reading. ¡°Did you sleep well?¡± ¡°¡­¡­How long did I sleep for?¡± ¡°It hasn¡¯t been long. An hour or so?¡± ¡°Pensir?¡± ¡°We¡¯re here. Do you see that? That¡¯s Pensir Station.¡± Calix answered, readjusting his position. I was able to immediately see through the carriage curtain, and through it, Pensir station. The train station was built of red bricks, and the sight of it alone seemed to be enough to excite travellers. The tall building, with the clock tower next to it, created an atmosphere that really emphasized the ¡®train-station essence¡¯. ¡°¡­¡­There are a lot of people here.¡± I muttered, looking at the train station. Calix added to my thoughts in an apologetic tone. ¡°Once you arrive in Hertrio, you won¡¯t be able to see many people. It¡¯s in the countryside and without any people.¡± I wonder how many people would describe Hetrio as a ¡®place without any people¡¯. ¡®Compared to the capital, there¡¯s probably not as many people.¡¯ ¡® ¡°Where are the knights?¡± ¡°They went back first. We are scheduled to meet at Hertrio.¡± The knights have left first, and Calix and I are the only ones on the train. I had already known that. ¡°What about the carriage?¡± ¡°Oh, this is not my carriage.¡± When I asked about the disposition of the carriage we had been riding in, Calix let out a strange exclamation. It seemed that he had just remembered something. ¡°We switched carriages while you were sleeping. Did you not notice? You must have slept really well.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± After listening to his words, I took a closer look, noticing that the interior of the carriage actually was different from the previous one¡¯s. The softness of the seats was also different. Even so, I couldn¡¯t believe that I continued sleeping, not being aware of anything, as we changed carriages, even more so because I had fallen asleep without realizing it. I didn¡¯t like it, especially because it seemed that I had been getting too relaxed. Seeing that I was frowning, Calix moved closer and gently rubbed my cheek. ¡°What¡¯s the matter? Is it because you don¡¯t like the carriage?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not that. I just¡­¡± When I raised my gaze, I met Calix¡¯s eyes, which were looking at me filled with concern. When our eyes met, I recalled the lie he had told before I fell asleep. I needed to ask him how long he was going to keep up this lie, this act. Seeing his face and his expression that showed concern for me, I couldn¡¯t ask without having any reason to. ¡°Nothing. I guess it¡¯s just because I¡¯m still tired.¡± ¡®Maybe I can ask you later.¡¯ Until we arrive at Hertrio. Until then, let¡¯s just make it work for us and do whatever we want. The train car that Calix had reserved was special, even for first class. As soon as Calix showed the tickets in his hands, the captain of the train came out and politely greeted us personally. We were the only ones in the special class compartment that boarded under the courteous guidance of the station staff. ¡°Looks like there¡¯s no one else.¡± ¡°Normally, there are no nobles who would come all the way to Pensir to take the train.¡± Upon first glance, I noticed that the plush seats were padded with velvet. The weather was getting colder and colder, so the seats were made of warmer materials. ¡°Since there are no other people here, you can sit anywhere.¡± I sat down and Calix sat across from me. Soon after, the sound of horns could be heard, signalling the departure of the train. I had high hopes for what my first train ride would be like, but surprisingly, it was nothing special. To be more precise, it was the same as travelling by carriage. Sitting and looking at the neverending scenery outside¡­ it was fortunate that the seats were more comfortable compared to a carriage¡¯s. The train continued to move, passing through several small stations along the way. I was becoming increasingly relaxed, but bored, as the trip continued. By the time the train stopped at the fourth station, it felt like my whole body had melted and I was almost one with the train seat. At this station, I stopped paying attention¡ªno one was going to come onto this train car, after all. However, the train did not depart even though enough time had passed for the passengers to board the regular compartment. ¡°Why isn¡¯t the train departing?¡± If there was a problem, it was long past the length of time needed to fix it. Calix also looked outside, checking to see if there was something wrong. At that moment, he must have caught something, as his face rapidly turned harsh. In the reflection of the train car¡¯s window, I could see Calix¡¯s blue eyes flaming with anger. He began cursing. ¡°Those bastards¡­¡± ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Following Calix¡¯s lead, I turned my gaze and saw a large carriage with several horses standing nearby it. The carriage was adorned with a crest that I had never seen before. ¡®Did someone pull up in this carriage?¡¯ Calix hurriedly turned his head to find me. When our eyes met, his face was stained with a hint of anxiety and slight irritation. ¡°What¡¯s wrong¡­¡­¡± At that moment, there was a knock on the door of the special class compartment. When I turned my head towards the sound of the knock, I saw the silhouette of a man through the opaque glass window. A strange voice was heard. ¡°May I come in for a moment? By the order of His Majesty, the Emperor, there will be a special inspection.¡± Special inspection? In an instant, my body stiffened with tension. Unknowingly, I searched for Calix. Calix, when our eyes met, briefly clicked his tongue before raising his voice. Throughout this process, his gaze never left mine. ¡°Explain to me there. What¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°There has been a recent order from His Majesty, the Emperor, to conduct special inspections on all trains arriving at this station due to the increased activity of bandits in the area. May I come in?¡± At least the investigator was being polite, seemingly because this was a special class compartment, which was often mostly occupied by nobles. However, I currently had no means of proving my identity. A sense of crisis washed over me. If we made any error, then the fact that I, someone from the Troxia family, had survived could potentially be exposed. ¡°I don¡¯t have any identification!¡± I whispered urgently to Calix and he frowned, trying to figure out what to do next. Calix stood up and answered the investigator outside the door. ¡°¡­That would be difficult right now.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll just be checking for a minute. It won¡¯t take long.¡± Uneasy, I got up from my seat and approached Calix. He reached out and held onto my hand. At that moment, all of a sudden, goosebumps were raised from my head to my toes. All five of my senses were heightened. In horror, my body stiffened. I could feel someone else¡¯s gaze. Someone was watching us. ¡®It¡¯s not the investigator. Who could it be?¡¯ As if it were a reflex, I turned my head, trying to find the culprit. However, when I couldn¡¯t move my head any further, I had to stop. ¡®I couldn¡¯t see it.¡¯ My gaze shifted to the sky outside of the window. I could faintly sense the presence of magic. ¡®Is it a wizard¡¯s eyes?¡¯ My hands and feet grew cold from this tension. When I lowered my gaze, I immediately was met with Calix¡¯s eyes. Looking straight at me, Calix¡¯s gaze was unwavering, without even an inch of distraction. Frowning, Calix began to open his mouth, but at that moment, the investigator¡¯s voice came from the other side of the door. ¡°I will be coming in now.¡± At that moment, I had to make a judgment call. I immediately bent down and climbed on top of Calix¡¯s body. ¡°Re¡­¡± Flustered, Calix was about to call me by my name, but I immediately lowered my lips to prevent him from doing so. ¡°¡­¡­¡± I felt Calix¡¯s body stiffen. I hugged him around his neck without any hesitation. I tilted my head and deepened our kiss, taking advantage of the gap between his lips to whisper. ¡°There are eyes looking in from outside the window.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t look up.¡± At the same time, the door to the special class compartment was thrown open. I burrowed into his arms, tousling his hair as best as I could. I felt that Calix, who had been stiff, suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist, actively participating. ¡°Excuse me¡­ Whoops!¡± The investigator, as heard by his voice, was astonished. Showing no interest at all in the investigator, I continued kissing Calix, moving down to his jaw, turning my head to the side in the process to block the investigator¡¯s view of my face. Pretending to be oblivious, I buried my face in Calix¡¯s shoulder and held my breath. Calix, who had been actively following my movements, raised his head, an agitated expression on his face. ¡°I don¡¯t remember telling you to come in.¡± *** Hi guys, as you know we are a free-to-read website and we only survive on ads. However, ads are not able to help us much longer. If you like what we do and have any spare, please consider supporting us to keep us alive: Link Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed what you have read, do consider tipping us a little through: click here. Once we receive 4$, an advance chapter will be posted as a thank you. Don¡¯t forget to mention the series that you¡¯re supporting! CH 7 It was a cold voice that made me flinch. ¡®I don¡¯t think this is just acting.¡¯ ¡°I apologize for being rude. I didn¡¯t know whether there was a high-ranking person here or not, but I¡¯ll just be coming in to prove your identity and then I¡¯ll be off..¡± ¡°It¡¯s Calix Axel Hertrio of Hertrio. This is all you would need to see to confirm my identity.¡± Calix interrupted the investigator, tossing him the gold button from his coat. The investigator, who reflexively caught the button and inspected it, jerked back in surprise. ¡°I greet Your Grace, the Duke!¡± It appears that the Hertrio family crest was engraved on that button. I lowered my head and gathered my thoughts. Judging from the investigator¡¯s reaction, his attitude and claim of not knowing the person he was investigating was Duke Hertrio was true and genuine. Due to that, he must have been dispatched in a hurry because he was in the area. Perhaps, if that was the case, the investigators were just decoys. The real thing would be the gaze from outside the window. ¡°My apologies, but who is the lady next to you¡­?¡± ¡°My lover I¡¯m bringing to my estate.¡± In the meantime, Calix had blocked the investigator from inquiring about me. He continued talking as he touched my ear with a blatant hand gesture. ¡°I hope you don¡¯t mean to question the lover of Duke Hertrio for her identity. I will vouch for this woman¡¯s status under my name. If you have any questions, you can ask His Majesty, the Emperor.¡± ¡°No! Thank you for your cooperation. I will be leaving now.¡± It was clear that the investigator was eager to get out of this difficult and uncomfortable position as soon as possible. The investigator hurriedly bowed and left the special class compartment. It was only after I heard the door close that I peeked over Calix¡¯s shoulder. ¡°¡­¡­Are they gone?¡± ¡°They¡¯re gone.¡± I was thinking of asking about what to do with the wizard watching us from the window. ¡°Ah, then¡­ Eup!¡± The words disappeared into Calix¡¯s mouth, who unexpectedly began kissing me again. As soon as the investigator left, Calix, who had lowered his head again, gently licked my lips and made a spot for himself in between them. I pressed against his shoulder and tried to lift my head, but my efforts ended in vain. ¡°Calix, this is not the time for us¡­ Uhm¡­ No.¡± As soon as I opened my mouth, Calix¡¯s tongue made its way in. It was a deep kiss, one that the other kiss couldn¡¯t be compared to. I tried to end the kiss by twisting my head here and there, but he persistently followed my head movements and continued to kiss me. I felt a large hand being placed on my cheek and neck. His other hand embraced me, tightening its grip around my waist and pulling me closer to him. His mouth was moving and sucking frantically, and I could feel myself quickly running out of oxygen. ¡°Calix, please calm down.¡± I held my breath and clenched my hands that were around his neck into fists. Just like that, I began hitting him on the shoulder. ¡°¡­¡­Get up!¡± His lips parted. Calix looked at me with half-lidded eyes. ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± In front of me was a face that seemed to have not yet grasped the situation. In a horse voice, he gave a suggestion. ¡°Should I ask the investigator to come back?¡± His voice was wickedly low, with the afterglow of the kiss laced in it. He hadn¡¯t come to his senses yet. I buried my face in his shoulder and whispered, out of sight from the view from outside the window. ¡°What are you going to do with the outside surveillance? Do you have any guesses as to who it could be?¡± He took me in his arms and answered my question in a small voice, directly into my ear. A sigh followed. ¡°I have a guess.¡± ¡°¡­¡­His Majesty?¡± ¡°Mhm.¡± I thought for a moment and asked him. ¡°His Majesty must be in the imperial palace right now, right?¡± ¡°I¡¯d assume so.¡± I calculated the distance from the capital, which was where the imperial palace was located, to here. When I was satisfied with my calculation, I opened my mouth again. ¡°Can I get rid of it?¡± Calix was delighted at my question. ¡°Can you get rid of it?¡± ¡°Yes. It wouldn¡¯t be difficult to distort the magic at this distance¡­¡± To be precise, I was referring to cutting off the wizard¡¯s connection to the magic. ¡°Then get rid of it.¡± As soon as Calix gave me permission, I made an invisible gesture outside. With my eyes closed, I searched for the magic in the air and read its coordinates. Once I was able to pinpoint its location, I clenched my hand into a fist and ripped off the magical link. It was a bit of a drastic method, but it worked well. For a moment, I felt the twisting and distortion of the airflow. After I had confirmed that the magic connection had been disconnected, I got up and checked out the window. The emperor couldn¡¯t directly spy on us with his own magic, so he had to think of using a medium for the wizards to use magic through. The source of the gaze watching us was a bird sitting on a sign at the station. The bird, which had lost its connection with the wizard and returned to being a regular bird, tilted its head and flew away. ¡®When did you see it?¡¯ I thought about the timing of everything. As soon as I held Calix¡¯s hand, I felt magic flowing. If so, he probably noticed when we started kissing. ¡®That¡¯s fine.¡¯ According to the investigator¡¯s testimony, I must have seemed like Calix¡¯s promiscuous lover. Neither the investigator nor the wizard saw my face. ¡°¡­¡­.It¡¯s okay.¡± Talking to myself, I carefully drew the curtains closed and turned around. All of a sudden, the hand that I used to distort the flow of magic suddenly began tingling and going numb. I squeezed and unclenched my hand, meeting Calix¡¯s eyes. After checking the doorway to make sure no one else was there, I opened my mouth. ¡°Is it common for the emperor to spy on you?¡± ¡°Well. It¡¯s not common, but it¡¯s also not rare. Simply put, it¡¯s not surprising.¡± He stretched out his arm and called me over. I obediently sat in the seat next to him. Calix grabbed my waist and pulled me into a familiar embrace. ¡°The story of my taking a woman must have reached the emperor¡¯s ears already. I¡¯m sorry, this was due to my negligence.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± I didn¡¯t respond to Calix¡¯s apology and thought about it. I can roughly guess where Calix and I were seen. It was probably at Pensir Station. More importantly, the emperor¡¯s attitude towards us. If it¡¯s true that the wizard was sent by the emperor to try to spy on us¡­ Only one hypothesis ran through my mind. ¡°Is the emperor still looking for me¡­?¡± It was not a common occurrence for an emperor to pay so much attention a mere duke¡¯s scandal. Calix¡¯s arm, which was embracing me, tightened. It seemed that he was thinking the same thing as I was. He whispered as he kissed my hair. ¡°I will never let anything happen to you. I swear.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not something you can decide by yourself.¡± After I answered bluntly, I recieved a series of kisses laced with anxiety from Calix. While being wrapped in his arms, I sorted out my complicated thoughts. ¡®What the hell is the emperor looking for?¡¯ Was it simply to find those belonging to the bloodline of the traitor? ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± ¡°¡­¡­No. Nothing.¡± I had an ominous feeling that one day I would have to go to the capital and face the emperor. *** ¡°It has been cut off.¡± Inside the ornately decorated office. The wizard, whose eyes were closed, raised his head. ¡°¡­¡­¡±Cut off¡±? I thought you said that there would be no problems if it was a stopped train, even from this distance. ¡± Next to him was a middle-aged woman pressing her temples. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but using living things as a medium comes at the cost of a lot of variables¡­¡± ¡°Okay. Tell me what you saw.¡± The wizard swallowed, proceeding to tell the woman what he had seen. In the special compartment of a train, a man and a woman sitting on seats covered in red velvet. The bewilderment of the investigator who had entered that compartment. And¡­ ¡°¡­¡­You said he was kissing her?¡± ¡°Yes. As soon as the magic was connected, I saw it¡±. The middle-aged woman, surprised, raised her head. There was a gleam of interest in her eyes. The wizard lowered his head, not knowing what to do. ¡°Calix Hertrio was kissing a woman¡­¡± The woman tapped the arm of the chair she was sitting in, lost in her thoughts. ¡°Isn¡¯t that funny? There were rumours that he couldn¡¯t do his job because he kept looking at women like they were stones.¡± ¡°Yes, yes¡­¡± The wizard bowed his head, sweating. ¡°Is it possible that he noticed your magic and put on an act?¡± ¡°That wouldn¡¯t be a possibility. As soon as I connected the magic, I immediately saw them kissing. In this case, they would have started doing so before then¡­¡± ¡°Did you see her face?¡± ¡°No. It was not visible.¡± The woman raised her eyebrows. As if she had suddenly remembered something, she asked the wizard with a rather impatient attitude. ¡°How about her hair?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Yes?¡± ¡°Did she have pink hair?¡± ¡°Yes? Yes, no. She had black hair.¡± ¡°Black hair¡­¡± The woman rubbed her temples in a circular motion, bowing her head down. After a moment¡¯s thought, she gestured impatiently at the wizard. ¡°I see. You may leave now, sir.¡± ¡°Yes, Your Majesty! May God bless you!¡± After politely bowing, the wizard left the room, and the emperor, who was left alone, stood up and looked out the window. ¡°Where are you? That kid¡­¡± The emperor¡¯s words echoed throughout the office. *** After the stormy special inspection passed, the train ride continued without any incidents. Since we had a late departure, it quickly became night. As soon as we finished dinner, Calix led me to a bed in the special class compartment. ¡°We will be arriving tomorrow morning. Until then, get some sleep.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t sleep now because earlier, in the carriage, I had already slept too much.¡± ¡°If you lie down and close your eyes for a bit, you will become sleepy.¡± With the tone of a parent putting their mischievous child to sleep, Calix forced me to sit down on the bed. I did as he asked and sat down on the corner of the bed, watching Calix draw the curtains. Sensing my gaze, Calix turned his head and smiled at me. ¡°Do you like looking at me because I¡¯m so handsome? You want to take care of your husband, don¡¯t you?¡± Without answering, I patted the bed, calling for Calix. ¡°You come here too.¡± ¡°Rena, if you¡¯re already acting like this right now, what are you going to do later¡­¡± ¡°Shut up and come here.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± As soon as Calix sat down next to me, I grabbed him so he couldn¡¯t escape. It was finally time to talk to him. How long will we be continuing this ridiculous play? In addition, if he¡¯s planning on taking me as a wizard to his estate, what were his plans? I made eye contact with him and asked seriously. ¡°Isn¡¯t there something you want to say to me?¡± ¡°Want to say?¡± ¡°You should know better.¡± *** Hi guys, as you know we are a free-to-read website and we only survive on ads. However, ads are not able to help us much longer. If you like what we do and have any spare, please consider supporting us to keep us alive: Link Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed what you have read, do consider tipping us a little through: click here. Once we receive 4$, an advance chapter will be posted as a thank you. Don¡¯t forget to mention the series that you¡¯re supporting! CH 8 ¡®How long are you going to keep playing this stupid couple game?¡¯ Unable to get those words out, my mouth twitched. It was I who started this act, pretending to have amnesia, so saying those words would be tantamount to declaring that I lost. Calix, who made eye contact with me, looked at me and smirked, before taking my hand that had been holding onto him and placing a kiss on the back of it. ¡°Of course, I have something I want to say.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Those words sent a chill down my spine. ¡®What. I guess I¡¯ll have to wait and see¡­¡¯ Calix leaned back on the bed, still holding onto my hand, and opened his mouth. ¡°I love you.¡± ¡°What?¡± I flinched at the unexpected words. For a moment, I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach, all too aware of the blood rushing through my body because of those three words. Reflexively, I jerked my hand away from his grasp. ¡°Wasn¡¯t that what you wanted to hear? That I love you?¡± ¡°I like you¡±, Calix said nonchalantly, seeing the panic on my face, before muttering to himself, ¡°This is ridiculous¡±. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t fool around.¡± I swallowed hard at the myriad of words that tried to escape my mouth, managing to say only those words. Calix leaned closer to me. The light from the weak bedside lamp cast a shadow over Calix¡¯s face. I jerked back, pulling away from him. ¡°Do my words sound like a joke to you?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m being serious.¡± Calix¡¯s blue eyes shone coldly. I raised my hand and pushed his face away, looking in another direction. ¡°What I¡¯m saying is,¡± ¡°¡­¡± I gulped and slowly opened my mouth. ¡°¡­I heard what you said in the carriage earlier in the day.¡± ¡°¡­¡± I felt Calix pause, but I didn¡¯t look up. ¡°You said you were taking me in as a wizard.¡± You told me that you were taking me in as your duchess. Did you lie to me? Instead of saying such a long-winded thing, I decided to ask him something else. We already knew each other anyways, there was no need for any more lies. ¡°What are you planning on doing?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°You know that the emperor is looking for me. You¡¯ve guessed it already. Do you really think that it will be okay for you to call me ¡®Rena¡¯ and take me to your estate?¡± Calix said nothing in reply, his eyes fixed on me. The way he looked at me¡­ it was as though he resented me for finally saying those words, or as if he¡¯d been waiting for this moment. I raised my voice and whispered quickly. ¡°Anyone close to you could probably figure out my true identity with just a moment¡¯s thought.¡± To be honest, I also thought, ¡®Wouldn¡¯t it be okay?¡¯. It had already been years since the incident, and I¡¯d been living quietly since, so the emperor shouldn¡¯t be interested in me anymore. I thought that if I lived quietly in the Hertrio estate with Calix, the emperor would choose to leave me alone. If it hadn¡¯t been for the incident earlier, with the wizard spying on us, I might have continued to think so. But Calix was being watched. It seemed that the emperor firmly believed that one day, he would be reunited with me. ¡®I need to hurry up and remember the original novel.¡¯ Even if it was difficult, I have to find out information about the emperor. Even if I have to meet the heroine of this world in order to do so. What the emperor wants. What the future holds for Calix. Whether he is in danger by being with me, who carried the blood of a traitor. It was one of those moments when my imagination ran wild. It was then that Calix, who had been silent this entire time, spoke up. ¡°Then what should we do?¡± He took my hand, his quiet voice heated. ¡°Should I abandon the duchy and hide in the mountains with you? That way, the emperor wouldn¡¯t be able to find us, right?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not saying that¡­¡± ¡°Or should I go visit the Imperial Palace and meet with the emperor? I could k!ll him if I had to. If that will make you feel comfortable.¡± His voice was so clear as he spoke of k!ll!ng the emperor that I had to doubt my ears. ¡°Do you mean it?¡± ¡°Of course I mean it.¡± Calix gripped my hand firmly. ¡°Under no circumstances will I be apart from you.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°If you¡¯re in trouble, we¡¯ll be in trouble together, and if you get hurt, you¡¯ll get hurt next to me.¡± The way he said it sounded like he wasn¡¯t just talking to me, but also like he was making a promise to himself. Calix rested his cheek against my palm, turning his head slightly to kiss it. ¡°And, you really don¡¯t have to worry about anything.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯ll take care of everything.¡± His assurance that he had it all figured out, as if he were stating an obvious truth, made me feel a little uneasy. *** We arrived in Hertrio just as I was getting tired of the train ride. The overnight rain had stopped, and by morning, the dew on the grass had disappeared. I woke up on the train as it rumbled to a stop at Hertrio station. ¡°Did you sleep well?¡± ¡°¡­Mhm.¡± The fact that we had finally arrived at the Duchy of Hertrio made me both excited and anxious. Calix took my hand and helped me off the train. ¡®You said it was a countryside territory, but there is a bustling train station.¡¯ That was my first impression of Hertrio when I arrived. Well, it¡¯s the Duchy of Hertrio after all, it wouldn¡¯t make sense if there wasn¡¯t a train station. The train smoke had already formed a long, grey tail and was disappearing into the distance. I stared at it before turning my gaze toward the exit of the station. ¡°How long does it take to get to the ducal residence from here?¡± ¡°It won¡¯t take long. It¡¯ll only take a short ride in a carriage.¡± Calix answered my question with a faint smile. Strangely, he seemed a bit nervous ever since the train arrived in Hertrio. It wasn¡¯t like it was his first time here, unlike me, so why was he reacting like that? He smiled vaguely and slowly stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, perhaps because he felt me staring at him questionably. The light gesture seemed to have raised my internal temperature, and I led his hand away, pretending not to have noticed. As I walked out to the front of the station, I saw the Duke¡¯s knights waiting to greet me. ¡°Welcome back, Your Grace!¡± ¡°Welcome back, Your Grace!¡± Calix waved away the knights, who bowed and greeted him loud enough that there was an echo in the train station. ¡°Everything is fine, correct?¡± ¡°Yes. I have taken care of everything you ordered.¡± ¡°Yes. Oh, and this is¡­¡± Calix hesitated as he introduced me to the knights. I stepped out in front of them, who had been looking at me with curious eyes, and bowed my head first. ¡°I am the new wizard. I¡¯m looking forward to working with you all.¡± Name. What name do I give? I thought for a short moment and decided on the most simple answer. ¡°¡­My name is Rena.¡± This way, if I was ever asked about my real name, I¡¯d at least be able to skip thinking of something for now. If anyone asked, I was going to say it was a nickname, but for another name, not Regina. My greeting was met with friendly smiles from the knights. ¡°Miss Rena! We look forward to your kind cooperation.¡± I felt Calix squeeze the hand he was holding onto, but I ignored it. ¡°I look forward to your kind cooperation, as well.¡± At this point, I let go of Calix¡¯s hand, which I had been holding onto since the train ride. I realized that people¡¯s eyes were on our hands. This is why it was obvious from the first day what the rumours would be like. I wonder how long it will be before the rumour of the new wizards and the duke¡¯s relationship spreads throughout the estate. I could feel everyone¡¯s curious glances, wondering who the h¡êll I was. Even knowing what everyone was thinking, Calix did not say anything, a sense of awkwardness in the air could be felt due to his lack of action. Breaking that awkward silence, the person at the front stepped forward. He had a light tone that seemed to lighten the atmosphere. ¡°I have prepared a carriage for the both of you.¡± There were two carriages. Calix answered him, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll be taking the same carriage as Rena.¡± ¡°¡­The same carriage, Your Grace?¡± The atmosphere became awkward again, and the knight¡¯s efforts were thrown into the trash. I turned my head away, staring wearily at the one remaining carriage that had been rendered useless in an instant. Before I knew it, Calix was standing in front of our carriage, holding out his hand to me and acting as my escort. Eventually, within a minute of me letting go of his hand, I had taken his hand again. ¡®Correction. It wouldn¡¯t take a day; half a day would be enough for the rumour to spread.¡¯ Calix, who glanced at the knights as I climbed up the carriage steps, chuckled lightly. ¡°The remaining carriage is for you gentlemen to ride.¡± ¡°No! How dare we¡­¡± The door of the carriage slammed shut without another word, ignoring the refusals of the knights. It was only after the two of us were left alone that I was able to unclench my tense hands and let out a heavy breath. I must have been nervous subconsciously when I arrived at Hertrio and faced the ducal knights who had come to greet me, wondering whether any of them recognized me. However, I soon ran into a new problem¡ªbeing in an enclosed space with Calix He was still looking out the window with a firm face. Though, he did glance over at me from time to time. Soon the carriage set off. As I rested my arm on the carriage window and looked out, a gentle breeze blew through, tousling my hair. ¡®What should I do?¡¯ I didn¡¯t think for long. I soon made up my mind and turned to face Calix. ¡°Tell me. What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°¡­What?¡± ¡°You look like you¡¯re uncomfortable.¡± ¡°Does it seem like that?¡± Realizing that his flirting wasn¡¯t working, Calix turned his attention back to the window with a shy face. I did the same, watching as the wind fluttered over his sculpted face, mesmerized. It was not long before Calix turned to me again. But what he said was completely unexpected. ¡°How¡¯s Hertrio?¡± He sounded a bit anxious and quite serious. I stuttered, flustered by the suddenness of his words. ¡°Hertrio¡­? Well, it¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°Is it fine?¡± ¡°Well, actually, it¡¯s only been five minutes since I arrived, so I have nothing to say.¡± ¡°Haha, is that so?¡± Calix smiled softly, placing his hand on my leg. ¡°Actually, I wanted your first impression of Hertrio to be good.¡± Calix¡¯s low voice rang throughout the carriage. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to be living the rest of your life here, so you shouldn¡¯t have a bad first impression.¡± ¡°¡­¡± I was speechless for a moment. He looked up and our gazes met. Calix¡¯s blue eyes seemed to pierce through me. ¡®You were so nervous about this?¡¯ I pursed my lips, trying to think of something to say, and finally turned my head towards the window and blurted out my reply. ¡°¡­It¡¯s a large territory so I¡¯ll never become bored.¡± ¡°¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t see Calix¡¯s expression, but I could tell he was very pleased. I gave him the answer he wanted. [TL/N]: helloo!! sorry for the delay in updates, there were personal circumstances so i had to take a break, but we are back on track now! i hope you enjoy this update ^3^ CH 9 After that, the rest of the carriage ride continued without any incident. We passed through green fields and forest roads filled with many trees, and soon the great walls that surrounded the estate came into view. I wondered how big the village and mansion enclosed by those walls were. ¡°It¡¯s huge.¡± It was much larger than the Troxia estate, which had existed until only several years ago. Calix sighed and let out a small chuckle at my exclamation. ¡°That¡¯s right. It¡¯s huge, unnecessarily so.¡± ¡°¡­It¡¯s not so big to the point of it being useless.¡± As the carriage approached the walls, the guards, having recognized it as the duke¡¯s carriage, saluted from the ramparts and opened the gates. ¡°The duke has returned!¡± In the midst of the commotion, Calix smiled at me. ¡°Welcome to Hertrio, Regina.¡± I smiled faintly at him in return. Perhaps it was a lie, her being confined to the countryside, but in the aftermath of the long trip, Rena fell asleep as soon as she arrived at Hertrio¡¯s estate. After gently caressing her sleeping face a few times, Calix rose from where he sat and headed to his office. There was a large amount of work to be done. ¡°¡­There was a door leading to the basement.¡± Calix¡¯s low voice rang throughout the office. ¡°Yes. However, as you said, it was blocked and only those who met the conditions were able to enter.¡± ¡°What are the conditions to enter?¡± ¡°Judging by the traces left by the entrance, it seems that only those with the family crest are able to enter.¡± Hm. Calix tapped his fingers on the desk, deep in thought. ¡°The family crest.¡± What to do now. Calix expected that there would be obstacles. However, this was a tricky condition. ¡°What did Regina do with the ring bearing the crest of Troxia on it¡­¡± Calix muttered faintly and rose from his seat. ¡°I think Rena would have thrown it away, given her personality.¡± Maybe it got caught in the fire, being burnt along with the mansion. The situation became increasingly difficult. He had to get into that basement. When Calix met Regina again, she wasn¡¯t wearing a ring on her hands. Similarly, she didn¡¯t have anything around her neck either. ¡®I was relieved that there was no sign of another person, but I didn¡¯t realize that sense of relief would backfire on me like this.¡¯ A faint smile appeared on Calix¡¯s face at the thought of Regina. He couldn¡¯t help it. He had finally found the person he¡¯d been looking for for so long. Since getting Regina back, he¡¯d been smiling a lot more. Calix muttered, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. ¡°If I want to keep laughing with Rena like this, we need to change the emperor¡­¡± And find out the truth about the basement of the Troxia family. Of course, this had to be done secretly, without Rena¡¯s knowledge. She¡¯s a good girl, so she¡¯d be worried if she found out about his plan. All his Rena had to do was stay safe in Hertrio without knowing anything. Not the secret of the hidden basement. Not the Troxia family. Not the emperor. Without knowing anything. As he envisioned the future he desired, a satisfied smile crossed Calix¡¯s face. *** Much like its master, days at the Duchy of Hertrio were very structured and organized. After arriving in the dukedom, according to what I have observed, this is how the days go by. At sunrise, the servants and maids of the mansion get up and begin their work. From preparing ingredients for the dishes that will be served for breakfast, to cleaning and inspecting the mansion, dealing with merchants who came to trade, and so on. During the occasion that I woke up early in the morning, I could hear the servants busily walking around and talking amongst one another through my bedroom window. When it is time for them to finish preparations for the day, which was 6:30 in the morning, Calix wakes up. At 7 o¡¯clock, the sounds of the duke¡¯s knights beginning their morning training could be heard. I know this because the first thing Calix does when he gets up in the morning is to check on me, whose room is beside his. During my first few days at the duchy, I was too busy being submerged in a deep sleep that I didn¡¯t even notice he had been coming to see me every morning. One day, I had woken up early and made eye contact with Calix, who calmly entered my room, and I immediately realized what had been going on. After that incident, I became so nervous that I would wake up when it was time for him to visit. Calix didn¡¯t seem disturbed at all when he saw me already awake. In fact, he seemed happy, speaking in a comfortable tone saying things like ¡°If you¡¯re awake, would you like to join me for breakfast?¡±. It was shameless, to say the least. Sarcastically, I said back to him, ¡°Why don¡¯t you combine our rooms if you¡¯re going to do this?¡±. I couldn¡¯t even say anything in response afterwards; his face was visibly radiating beams of joy as he replied, ¡°Is that really okay?¡±. But humans are animals capable of adaptation. Unlike in the beginning, when I would open my eyes when it was time for him to come, now I would just keep them closed and mumble something as I waved to him. There were times when I didn¡¯t wake up at all and continued to sleep soundly. It had only been a few days since I arrived here, and I¡¯m already like this. ¡®I shouldn¡¯t be getting used to this place already.¡¯ Several maids passed by me as I walked down the corridors, lamenting my situation. ¡°Hello, Miss Rena!¡± ¡°Hello.¡± I smiled back at the maids who smiled at me. Funnily enough, Calix didn¡¯t like the name people used to address me. He didn¡¯t like it when others would call me ¡°Rena¡±. But it would be impossible to have others address me as ¡°Regina¡±, no matter how much he chose to ignore that. Of course, Calix knew it wouldn¡¯t be possible. Perhaps he just wanted to throw a tantrum and test the waters. Thanks to this, I had no choice but to accept his foolishness for a while. A very silly, childish foolishness that started with ¡°I don¡¯t like it when people other than me call you by your nickname¡±. ¡®At times like this, he looks just like a child¡­¡¯ Calix was nervous and cautious for a few days when I first came to Hertrio, constantly assessing my condition carefully. I don¡¯t know what conclusion he came to by the end of his observation period, but after a few days, he must have decided that I was fine. I could tell at a glance that Calix¡¯s tension had eased. I walked down the corridor, thinking about Calix, but as soon as I turned the corner, a hand sticking out from the side pulled me in. I was startled and trembled for a moment, then relaxed and leaned back on the familiar hand that held me. There was only one person in this mansion who would stop me like this. ¡®You¡¯re a bad boy.¡¯ ¡°Calix.¡± When I called out that name, I saw a face that was as familiar to me as that name. His blue eyes were full of affection as he looked at me. The sculpted face, the blue eyes, and the slightly cool body temperature were the same as usual. Calix¡¯s mouth opened, and as if I was mesmerized, I stared at the red tongue inside. ¡°Rena, are you going somewhere?¡± ¡°Mhm. I heard someone got wounded.¡± I came to my senses and answered his question casually. Immediately after hearing my answer, Calix¡¯s brows furrowed weakly, and he held my hand as he replied to me. ¡°Rena, it¡¯s okay if you don¡¯t go all out when the knights call. They were getting along just fine without a wizard before you came.¡± His soft, soothing tone really seemed to be trying to persuade me. Of course, these were not the words of the knights¡¯ lord, Duke Hertrio. I frowned lightly and pointed out the flaws in his words. ¡°I came to Hertrio to act as a wizard, what good am I if I don¡¯t do anything?¡± ¡°No one can say anything just because you¡¯re not doing anything¡­¡± ¡°¡­What should I say, I am¡± I cut off my words and turned around. As soon as I lifted my foot off the ground, I heard the sound of footsteps behind me. ¡°Rena.¡± ¡°¡­¡± I ignored him and kept walking forward until I felt my fingertips being grasped from the side. The series of processes felt natural like it had been done many times before ¡ª lightly holding onto the fingertips, before digging in the gaps between the fingers, and finally, intertwining the fingers together. Reflexively, I looked around to make sure there was no one passing by. ¡°Have you gotten your memory back?¡± After I was convinced that we were the only people in the hallway, I sighed as I faced Calix. ¡°It¡¯s not back yet.¡± ¡°Really?¡± For some reason, Calix didn¡¯t seem very disappointed when I told him that my memories had yet to return. ¡®What are you thinking?¡¯ I looked at him, squinting. After arriving at Hertrio, Calix no longer became visibly anxious and helpless whenever he couldn¡¯t see me. He even told me that it was okay now since I was in his territory and that I could move around and act as I pleased inside his mansion. Of course, I still get the occasional look of confusion. Thanks to my status as a wizard belonging to the duke, I was able to move around freely at will. Occasionally, when someone was injured or needed help from a wizard, I would run to help them. Even so, there was nobody in the mansion who treated me as an ordinary wizard. Everyone knew that the duke had personally brought me to his estate and given me the room right next to his, so my current status within the mansion was indeed ambiguous. There were quite a few people who had difficulty interacting with me as not only was a wizard¡¯s status not a low ranking one, but in addition, I was rumoured to be the duke¡¯s lover. However, most people have gotten used to me and are now comfortable with asking me for small favours. I hesitated before opening my mouth. ¡°¡­Calix, don¡¯t you want my memory to come back?¡± ¡°Of course, it¡¯d be nice if it were to come back.¡± ¡®He just hesitated.¡¯ ¡°But there¡¯s no need to force it. I want you to be comfortable.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Instead of asking any further questions, I decided to keep my mouth shut. While pretending to be calm on the outside, internally, my head was spinning. I know that Calix is hiding something from me, I just don¡¯t know what it is. I don¡¯t know why he acts like he doesn¡¯t care whether I lose or find my memories, and he keeps saying that he¡¯ll take care of everything, but what the hell is he taking care of? I looked at Calix¡¯s side profile, which had a calm expression. ¡®Let¡¯s throw the bait in.¡¯ I had a few things to say floating around my head and I picked to say the one that made the most sense, the most appropriate one. I opened my mouth and spoke quietly, gauging Calix¡¯s reaction. CH 10 ¡°I have a question.¡± ¡°Say it.¡± ¡°¡­Is Troxia a long way from here?¡± Now that House Troxia had all been wiped out, all that was left of Troxia was a lump of land. It was said that most of the inhabitants moved to different territories, and so the land was abandoned without an owner. I went on, pretending to be na?ve. ¡°I want to go there.¡± ¡°¡­To Troxia?¡± ¡°Yeah. Going there could bring back some of my memories.¡± Calix didn¡¯t reply. His face was so expressionless that I couldn¡¯t tell what he was thinking. I wanted to take the time to examine him carefully, but I couldn¡¯t. While I was glancing at him, we had arrived at the training grounds. At that point, I let go of Calix¡¯s hand, which I had been holding onto this entire time. The commander of the knights, who recognized us despite the distance, shouted in a disciplined manner. ¡°Greetings, my lord! Miss Rena!¡± ¡°Greetings!¡± I stepped up to face the knights, who greeted us in unison. ¡°I came because I heard someone got hurt.¡± ¡°Ah, you mean Bennett. He¡¯s this way.¡± While following the knight guiding me, I stopped and turned my head toward Calix, who was still standing next to me. ¡°Thank you for bringing me here, my lord. I can go by myself from here.¡± It was a clear order for him to not follow me. Calix didn¡¯t react much even though I had built a wall between us in front of his knights. He just smiled at me and said, ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll see you at dinner, wizard.¡± And with that, his words shattered all my attempts of building an image of someone insignificant. *** Hertrio¡¯s mansion looked more like a castle than a mansion due to its huge size. Based on the main gate with the central staircase in the middle of the mansion, there was an east wing, which was used for the knights and other people of the manor, and a west wing, which was exclusively used for the people of the Hertrio family. Among the rooms, Calix¡¯s was at the very top of the west wing, which had historically been used only by the heads of the Hertrio household for generations. If you were to go out to the balcony by the window, you would be able to see the entire Hertrio estate in the distance. Sometimes, when I would leave the window open in his room after dinner, the winds from the mountain next to the mansion would blow through my hair in a pleasant way. My room was right next to Calix¡¯s, and it was the room that had been used by the hostesses of Hertrio for generations. In other words, it was the duchess¡¯ room. Upon arriving at the estate on the first day, I checked my room, and at that moment was able to understand the bewilderment of the knight who had listened to Calix¡¯s instructions while we were still on the carriage. The room resembled Calix¡¯s room, the head of the household. The structure of the room was similar as if it was symmetrical to his, and the furniture inside was of equal quality. No matter how much I thought about it, it was quite too much to be a room for a hired wizard. ¡°¡­Isn¡¯t it too much?¡± When I carefully answered his question asking about my first impression, Calix asked me a question back as if something was wrong. ¡°You¡¯re going to use this room soon anyways, so why?¡± It¡¯s not like he didn¡¯t know what the problem was. What should I do with him, who was pretending that he didn¡¯t know anything as he stood in front of me? I didn¡¯t have the conscience to point it out, so I just quietly accepted the room he offered. Now. Calix wanted me to have dinner with him on a regular basis unless there was anything special going on. I blurted out while looking at Calix, who nonchalantly placed some cooked perch on the plate in front of me. ¡°What did people say?¡± ¡°What?¡± The way he placed the baked potato with butter on my plate was affectionate. The way he walked up to me and placed a napkin on my lap was natural, as was the way he spoke to me in a way that made me feel like he didn¡¯t know what he was talking about. ¡°I mean, wouldn¡¯t it be troublesome if word got out that the duke was living with a wizard?¡± ¡°Even if there were complaints, would there be anyone in Hertrio who would curse at the Duke of Hertrio?¡± Calix replied casually and took his share of the fish. I was sick and tired of that nonchalant attitude of his. ¡°Since then, has His Majesty said anything?¡± ¡°What did you want him to say to me?¡± He smirked. ¡°That I picked up a girl and had to refrain from making out with her on the train?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not what I¡¯m saying¡­¡± ¡°¡­If that¡¯s not it.¡± Calix lifted his head and locked his piercing blue eyes with mine. ¡°¡­That I shouldn¡¯t hire a wizard whose face resembled the face of the missing daughter of Troxia? That coward wouldn¡¯t even be able to say such a thing to me.¡± ¡°You¡­¡± ¡°Your meal is going to get cold. Hurry up and eat. The chef¡¯s perch is delicious.¡± I raised my fork with a stony face at his deflective demeanour. The action of picking up pieces of fish off the plate was almost mechanical. As Calix had guaranteed, the perch was quite delicious, but at the same time, I couldn¡¯t taste anything. Not the potatoes, not the bread, not the spinach. Everything was delicious, but it didn¡¯t impress me. I eventually put down my fork after I had dismantled the innocent perch. ¡°I have no appetite.¡± ¡°Regina.¡± Calix sighed and looked at me, wiping the corner of my mouth with his napkin. He took a bite of my meal with no hesitation after I declared that I wouldn¡¯t eat anymore. While I was waiting for the maid to come and clear the dishes, I got up and paced around the room. Why was I so frustrated today? Was it because of Calix¡¯s attitude when I had asked about Troxia earlier in the day? Or was it because of how intimately he had acted while we were around other people? ¡®Perhaps the frustration that had been accumulating since coming to Hertrio had finally exploded.¡¯ Calix was still sitting down in his seat, not paying me much attention. Unable to contain my frustration at his attitude any longer, I opened my mouth to speak up. ¡°Do you want me to stay like this, clueless and like a fool?¡± ¡°¡­Mm.¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± I stopped moving at his unexpected answer. Calix raised his head and met my eyes. ¡°Can¡¯t you just stay like this? You¡¯re comfortable and it¡¯s good for you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not comfortable at all!¡± I shouted at him in the carefree daylight. Calix rose from his seat and walked towards me. ¡°Then what do you want me to do.¡± Facing his momentum, I stumbled back without realizing it. He grabbed me by my wrists as he approached me. Fire seemed to be sparking out from his blue eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t run away.¡± He gritted his teeth. ¡°Aren¡¯t you lying to me right now because you want to be comfortable?¡± ¡°When did I lie¡­¡± ¡°No? Then what do you mean you¡¯ve lost your memory?¡± At his words, my whole body stiffened as if I had been struck by lightning. Calix smiled dejectedly at my face, which became stiff and unable to say anything. ¡°Look. Do you know what your face looks like right now?¡± ¡°¡­¡± I pursed my lips, but no words came out. My mouth was dry. I couldn¡¯t think of anything about my jet-black hair. I couldn¡¯t think of anything to refute him with. What he said was true, after all. Calix¡¯s face, which I had barely looked at, was not looking at me; it was as though he wasn¡¯t expecting anything. He let go of the wrist he had been holding onto and returned to his seat, talking quietly in an exhausted manner. ¡°Don¡¯t say that your memory has returned now.¡± ¡°¡­¡± His head turned. My gaze was locked onto the side of his face, unable to move. Calix had buried himself in his seat, and his profile looked exhausted. I watched his lips slowly open again. To hear his mouth finally say the finishing words, which were so poisonous that it came and lodged itself in my heart. ¡°Then I¡¯d have to face you, the one who had abandoned me and walked away from me without a care.¡± The wind from the open window flew between us during the meal. In the cool breeze, Calix¡¯s words rang throughout the room. ¡°I¡¯ve realized from deep within my bones that I mean nothing to you¡­ so please just ignore me until the very end.¡± Ah, this was all my fault. *** Calix didn¡¯t look at me again throughout the remaining duration of the meal, and the maids had come to clean up the table. I didn¡¯t have anything to say either, so I had no choice but to leave the room. It felt as if I had been kicked out. The problem now was that my room was connected to Calix¡¯s room. Even if I had been kicked out to the room next door, where there was a shared common area connecting our rooms, there was time to think. I hugged my pillow and buried deep into my bed. ¡°¡­¡± My heart ached as I thought of Calix. The last image of Calix that I had, of him looking so tired and exhausted, could not disappear from my head. Above all, I hated myself for being unable to say a single word in front of him. In the original work, Calix did not open his heart for a while, even while next to the female lead, because at that point he had already lost Regina for years. But it hadn¡¯t been that long yet in this timeline. And he had also found me again. ¡®I thought it¡¯d be okay.¡¯ No. I¡¯m at fault for being so na?ve. I¡¯m the one who was stupid enough to have thought he¡¯d be okay with me, the one who had hurt him, right in front of him. But now he was telling me to not tell him that my memory had come back. ¡°¡­¡± I jumped to my feet in frustration. ¡®Let¡¯s apologize.¡¯ I didn¡¯t even know what I would say, but I knew I had to apologize. As soon as I held onto the doorknob that separated my room and Calix¡¯s room, an unfamiliar voice came from the other side of the door. ¡°¡­I didn¡¯t find it.¡± ¡®Who is it?¡¯ In an instant, I repositioned my body and put my ear to the door. I knew that it was rude to eavesdrop. ¡®Is this the right time to make excuses for myself?¡¯ From the crack of the door came the voice of Calix, who sounded more tired than usual. It seemed like I was listening to someone¡¯s report. ¡°And the mansion?¡± ¡°The same.¡± ¡®What mansion are you talking about?¡¯ ¡°However¡­¡± The figure moved closer to Calix and whispered something to him, but that meant that I could no longer hear them. I furrowed my brow and brought my ear as close as I could. ¡®I¡¯m sure I¡¯ve heard that voice before.¡¯ CH 11 ¡°¡­I did.¡± I had missed all the important stuff. I furrowed my brow and suddenly remembered the last time I had heard this voice. This voice belonged to a knight named Ishar. He was a man of high standing within the Order of Hertrio and was one whom Calix trusted greatly. ¡®What was going on that needed Ishar to report?¡¯ Then, a clear voice rang through the closed door. ¡°I didn¡¯t find Troxia¡¯s ring there either.¡± ¡®What¡­?¡¯ I was shocked by what I had overheard. ¡®The ring of Troxia?¡¯ Why was my house¡¯s ring mentioned here? Regardless of my confusion, the conversations continued on the other side of the door. ¡°Then the ring¡­¡± Ishar proceeded to move closer to Calix again, and so, I was unfortunately unable to continue to hear the rest of their conversation. I waited a bit longer by the door in case I was able to hear anything else, but before I could hear anything, I heard Ishar open the door and walk out. As soon as I heard the thud of the door closing, I hurried back to my bed and lay down, pretending not to have left. My motivation to apologize to Calix was fading, and I planned to instead pretend to be asleep in case Calix walked in. But by the end of the night, Calix had not once knocked on my door. *** I spent the whole night in confusion, trying to figure out what Calix¡¯s intentions were. ¡®Did Calix order him to look for a ring with the seal of Troxia on it without telling me about it?¡¯ I stayed up all night. In the early hours of the morning, before Calix came to my room, I tossed and turned sleeplessly into my pillow. The Ring of Troxia. There was only one ring of Troxia that he could be talking about. It was a signet ring, engraved with the family crest. I, who was the successor of Troxia, had only been able to have seen it once. What was he planning on using it for? If he needed something, he could have just asked me. But I didn¡¯t even have the ring with me. If Calix tried to find the ring through a different method¡­ For a moment, the thought that he had secretly been preparing this, finding my family¡¯s seal, as a surprise for me flashed through my mind, but it was quickly dismissed. There was no way Calix, who was so terrified of losing me to the Emperor, would put something so conspicuous on my finger. ¡®Well, then the guess that he¡¯s secretly up to something is the most reasonable one.¡¯ The problem was that I had no clue what he was up to. I sighed deeply and saw the morning sun rising through the window. At the same time, I heard footsteps from the room next door. It meant that Calix had woken up and was coming to see me. Soon my door, which was connected to Calix¡¯s room, opened slightly. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to sleep with my face on the pillow. I could hear Calix walking across the room toward me. I kept my eyes closed tightly, desperately trying to keep a straight face. Normally, Calix would stand by the side of the bed and simply look down at me, but something was different today. I felt the spot next to me on the bed sink down, his presence closer than usual. He had climbed onto the bed with his hand on mine. He leaned his head down and I was able to feel his breath on my skin. I felt his hand caress my cheek. ¡°¡­Rena.¡± After calling my name, Calix said nothing for a while. I continued to pretend to be asleep, trying to breathe evenly. I desperately clutched the pillowcase in my hands, trying to steady myself. If I didn¡¯t, I felt like my heart would race and that I would grab hold of him at any moment. ¡°Rena, I.¡± He had a low voice, perhaps it was because it had not been long since he had woken up. I waited for his next words, but he kept his mouth shut and left the bed. I sat up as soon as he closed the door and left my room. ¡°What¡­?¡± I murmured out loud, but of course, there was no answer. ¡°What¡­¡± ¡®Why?¡¯ I felt uneasy for no particular reason and rubbed the cheek where Calix¡¯s hand had touched me. I tried to ease the lingering ghost of his touch, but the more I tried to do so, the more I was reminded of his eyes that were looking down at me. ¡°Calix.¡± How he looked down at me. I thought of him over and over again, inside the room where he was gone. *** In the first place, my daily routine at the mansion did not have much overlap with Calix¡¯s. If I didn¡¯t want to meet him, I was able to go my entire day without seeing him, and it wasn¡¯t very likely that the Duke of Hertrio would go find me first. There were often days when we would never cross paths until it was dinner. There didn¡¯t need to be anything special happening for me to not see him. Until the day we met again, weren¡¯t we living without each other anyways? But it bothered me so much that I never encountered him even just once while I was walking around the mansion today. ¡®Are you avoiding me?¡¯ The reason why I was thinking such things, even though I knew it wasn¡¯t true, was due to my being anxious. This was probably due to the fact that everything is unclear, alongside not knowing what Calix was thinking. Later this evening, when I meet Calix, I wanted to speak to him again. I wanted to tell him that I¡¯d like to visit the old Troxia estate, and on the way there, I¡¯d like to stop by the village where I used to live. If Calix said no¡­ ¡®Well, he¡¯s going to have to deal with it.¡¯ As I walked through the courtyard outside of the mansion, lost in thought, a group of familiar-looking maids popped out from around the corner. ¡°Hello, Miss Wizard!¡± ¡°Hello.¡± I bowed my head, and we greeted each other, almost like it was a reflex. There were many people who felt uncomfortable with me, but most people were kind to me as having the presence of a wizard was proven helpful. The group of maids were the friendliest of all and seemed eager to make my acquaintance. The liveliest of them, a maid named Allie, spoke to me with admiration. ¡°Miss Wizard, isn¡¯t your hair especially shiny today?¡± ¡°Shiny?¡± My eyes widened at the offhand remark while the other maids around her nodded in agreement. ¡°Yes. Just like that, you sparkle every time the sun shines on you!¡± At their words, I smiled and chimed in out of habit. ¡°Ah, I must have caught something in it. Thank you.¡± But as soon as I turned around the corner and was out of sight, I clenched my teeth. ¡®It¡¯s shiny?¡¯ I lifted up my hair, which had been fluttering around my shoulders, and took a closer look at it. How long has it been since I¡¯ve last dyed my hair? The hair dye was not completely effective, so it had to be reapplied at least once a month. It wasn¡¯t that I couldn¡¯t dye my hair with magic, but the cost-efficiency was extremely bad because I would have had to continuously use magic in order to maintain the dye. If it looked like it was shining under the sun¡­ Is it because the black hair dye was fading? Sure enough, upon closer inspection, my hair appeared to be slightly brown in colour, almost like it was revealing a hidden reddish colour. It was clear that I was stuck in a less-than-favourable situation. This meant that I had to go down to the village and get hair dye, all while avoiding the eyes of Calix. Since this happened, there was nothing else I could do. Speaking of which, I¡¯d need to fix this issue as soon as possible. I sighed deeply and headed to the duke¡¯s office located on the top floor of the mansion. It was time to negotiate with Calix. Despite what happened last evening, Calix greeted me in his usual manner. It was as though he was unaware of the events that had occurred. This morning as well, he acted as if it hadn¡¯t happened at all, and I couldn¡¯t help but be impressed. ¡°What¡¯s going on? You¡¯ve come when I hadn¡¯t even called for you.¡± I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak to Calix, who had greeted me with a wide smile. ¡°I want to go to Troxia.¡± ¡°¡­Troxia?¡± Calix¡¯s face and smile stiffened. I pretended not to notice the change in his expression and headed towards a shady corner of the office, one that was out of the sun¡¯s reach. ¡°Yes. Maybe if I went there, I would be able to recover some of my memories.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Even though we had that conversation last night, I decided to use such an excuse again. Maybe Calix was right. Maybe I wanted to avoid my situation because I was a coward. It was a convenient lie, saying that I¡¯d lost my memory. I purposely had given Calix trauma that would have followed him for the rest of his life, making him live alone while I just ran away. Maybe he wanted to turn a blind eye to my cowardice. But I couldn¡¯t help it. This was the only way for me to survive. ¡°And on the way, I want to stop by the village I had stayed in.¡± I quickly added before Calix had the chance to disagree with anything. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve been there, and I want to meet the people there again, as well as see if I¡¯ve left anything behind.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Calix put his hands together and placed them on his desk. He looked like he was about to say no, but before he could, I quickly spat out more words. ¡°If you say no, I¡¯ll do it on my own¡­¡± ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll go¡­ huh?¡± ¡°Okay. Alright.¡± ¡°It¡¯s alright?¡± When I asked again in surprise, Calix nodded, rising from his seat. ¡°Okay, alright. If you want to go there.¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°But on one condition.¡± ¡°Tell me.¡± I nodded, mesmerized by his words. Calix smiled. ¡°I¡¯ll be going with you.¡± That was fine. I figured that Calix would have wanted to tag along in the first place. I agreed, and the rest is history. I watched in bewilderment as Calix pushed back on his inspection of the territory, which had been scheduled for the next day. ¡­It was almost like he¡¯d been waiting for me to request this. And as things went, the next day we boarded a carriage bound for Troxia. Calix looked fine during the trip to Troxia, contrary to his claims of having severe motion sickness caused by carriage rides during our previous trip. No, I stand corrected. It didn¡¯t seem like he was completely unharmed. If I wasn¡¯t in his field of vision or not by his side at any point, he became anxious. It was as if I¡¯d been transported back to when he¡¯d first found me again after all of those years. It was as if Calix was a territorial feline¡ªas soon as we left Hertrio, his anxiety came back. But right now, I couldn¡¯t afford to care about him. I was too overwhelmed with taking care of myself and making sure that he doesn¡¯t see my fading hair colour. I should get hair dye before the colour washes out. Aside from Calix, who knew that I was faking having amnesia, there were still others in the mansion. I couldn¡¯t bring myself to reveal my real hair in front of them. A total of five people were going on this impulsively improvised trip to Troxia, with three of them being knights who came as attendants. It was a fairly small scale for a duke¡¯s outing. CH 12 Calix had insisted on taking at least one maid to tend to me, but I had no reason for a maid after having lived alone for the past few years. Despite that, I was forced to have two people by my side to tend to me while at the Hertrio mansion. During the carriage trip, I was able to see the same sights that Calix would have seen seven years ago when he was 12 years old and coming to Troxia for the first time. What did he think of this boring road that only lead to wide fields and forest roads? ¡°Come to think of it.¡± I looked at the scenery outside of the carriage before turning my head towards Calix. ¡°You said you¡¯ve been to the Troxia estate before. Why did you come then?¡± Calix closed the book he had been reading and looked up, his shadowed blue eyes lighting up. ¡°¡­To Troxia?¡± ¡°Yes. You said you married me after arriving there.¡± ¡®That was a blatant lie, of course.¡¯ I didn¡¯t bother to add that. At my words, Calix seemed to weigh his options for a moment, before tilting his head and smirking. ¡°Secret.¡± ¡°What?¡± For no particular reason, I thought he¡¯d tell me right away. Was there any reason serious enough for him to keep it a secret? When Calix first came to Troxia, I was too new to this world to care about¡­ a boy who was to become a duke, who also just so happened to turn out to be one of the main characters in the original work. Of course, I didn¡¯t pay attention to why he came, and for the first while, I had been quite careless in the way I dealt with him. As boys of his age usually were, Calix was a bit cranky toward me at the beginning. I tilted my head and had a disapproving look on my face, prompting Calix to grin as he looked at me. ¡°There wasn¡¯t any big reason.¡± He tilted his head and smoothed out my eyebrows. ¡°Well, you know, that was when my father passed away, and I wasn¡¯t very good at managing a household by myself.¡± ¡°Because I was young,¡± he added. So, according to him, at that time, the head of the Troxia family took him in and taught him many things. ¡°The reason being the Troxia family and my father were friends.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Even so, it would have been unknowingly burdensome to ask the only heir to a dukedom to stay for an entire year. I nodded, mulling over what I had just found out for the first time in seven years. Then, suddenly, I opened my mouth and asked. ¡°How was Troxia?¡± Calix opened his eyes wide, surprised by my question. But soon enough, he answered with a smile. ¡°¡­Good.¡± ¡°¡­¡± I forgot what to say for a moment and stopped breathing. The sun only shining on half of Calix¡¯s face in combination with the way he smiled at me was enough to make my heart pound. ¡®This is dangerous¡­¡¯ I quickly turned my head towards the window, pretending to be calm despite that. It seemed like the temperature in the carriage had instantly gone up by a few degrees, but that was just due to how I felt. I stubbornly refused to look at Calix after that until the carriage stopped. I couldn¡¯t be more glad that Calix was lost in thought and wasn¡¯t giving me his undivided attention. If he saw me now, he would surely realize my feelings with just a few glances and a few words. *** The carriage travelled for half a day before arriving in a small city. It was bigger than I had expected, as it was a small city that developed with the intent of providing lodging and accommodation for those who travelled by horse-drawn carriages. As a result, there were all kinds of shops, inns, and restaurants in the city. I was relieved that I was able to get the hair dye I had been worried about here. Calix, who went off to the inn where we were to stay overnight, seemed quite familiar with it, as though he had been here a few times already. When asked whether he had ever been here before, Calix replied, ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°I came here when I was on my way to Troxia.¡± ¡°Were there this many people back then as well?¡± ¡°Well, I guess there are more people now.¡± Was it because those from Troxia had immigrated here? Calix said nothing, but whenever I saw people passing by, I had to try to not look for any traces of Troxia in them. A young man who appeared to be a nobleman followed by an entourage of three knights and a woman who appeared to be a wizard was not an unusual combination in such a heavily populated city. But we weren¡¯t plain enough to be forgotten after being seen, so I wore my hood as low as I could while walking through the city. Calix was dissatisfied, saying he couldn¡¯t see my face, but he didn¡¯t seem to actively stop me because he was worried on the inside. Fortunately, there were few people in the inn when we arrived, so I was able to take off my hood as soon as I entered. ¡°Do you have three rooms?¡± ¡°Oh, of course. There are three rooms left.¡± ¡°Then we¡¯ll take those. We¡¯ll be eating in the room.¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll bring the food up in a minute.¡± Calix quickly spoke to the innkeeper, secured our rooms, and obtained three keys. He took one in his hand and tossed the other two to the knight standing next to him. ¡°Wait, why did you¡­¡± ¡°Divide the rooms amongst yourselves.¡± While ignoring me, who was bewildered, he continued talking to the knights. ¡°I purposely reserved a single room and a double room, so don¡¯t fight.¡± ¡°Why would we fight, we¡¯re not kids.¡± ¡°Yes, sir!¡± Calix, as the knights were bowing and answering him, wrapped an arm around my shoulder. ¡°Then shall we head up to our room?¡± ¡°Wait¡­ I thought I was going to have a room to myself?¡± ¡°Who said that you¡¯d have a room to yourself?¡± No one told me that, but out of everyone, I was the only one with a different gender¡­! Calix¡¯s expression while looking down at me was so brazen that I felt rather stupid for even raising the issue. I looked over at the knights for help, but unfortunately, they were all on Calix¡¯s side. Seeing them look the other way and pretending not to know me¡­ they seemed to be intent on helping their lord with his love life. I gritted my teeth and, with the help of Calix, climbed the stairs. I had planned on secretly dyeing my hair in my room, where there would have been no one around. Now, I had no choice but to use another method. What could I do? Should I sneak out at night? But Calix would notice right away if I did so. I seemed to have looked like a condemned man who was being dragged to his death, as Calix bent down at the waist and peered at me as he walked up the stairs. ¡°Why do you hate this so much?¡± Calix¡¯s face, while asking that question, showed that he genuinely didn¡¯t know what the problem was. ¡°You didn¡¯t care when I had gotten away with this before. Are you starting to feel conscious of me now? If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯ll change your room.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not conscious of you¡­¡± ¡°Oh. No? That¡¯s fine as well.¡± As if it was a reflex, I denied it, but that too was a mistake. Calix laughed coolly after hearing my answer. He whispered close to me, pulling me around my waist as I stumbled on the stairs. ¡°If I were you, I¡¯d just lie and say that I felt conscious and take the other room so I¡¯d feel better while you would still be getting what you wanted.¡± ¡°¡­You wouldn¡¯t believe me if I said that.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s true.¡± When I looked up, squinting my eyes, Calix confirmed my words with a sweet sigh. ¡°What else can I do? It¡¯s my fault for wanting to hear those words.¡± It wasn¡¯t like it would be a lie if I said I was conscious of Calix. That was the case, after all. If you were to ask me since when I¡¯d been conscious of him, I wouldn¡¯t be able to answer. Had it been ever since I felt Calix¡¯s gaze, looking down at me, every night? Or ever since I noticed the heat in his voice when he called my name? ¡®If it¡¯s not that.¡¯ When I realized that he was no longer the boy I knew from back then, all those years ago? When I realized that he now had thicker features, stronger hands, and a lower voice than when he was younger? I might have even known back then that there would be no escaping from him in the future. But in the end, I didn¡¯t give him the answer that he wanted. A familiar bitter smile of resignation came to Calix¡¯s face, who was taking me to our room. He seemed to not have even expected the answer that he wanted in the first place. ¡°It¡¯s better to eat dinner in the room, right?¡± ¡°That would be more convenient.¡± I said quietly to Calix, who looked as if he hadn¡¯t noticed. The room that Calix had taken was quite a luxurious room, and as the owner said, was the best room. It wasn¡¯t as big as my room in the Hertrio mansion, but it looked as big as the room of a lord from the countryside. I could see why Calix brought us here. Calix smiled at me, who couldn¡¯t hide my admiration as I looked around the room. ¡°Do you like it?¡± ¡°Yes. The room is very¡­. It¡¯s nice. But it¡¯s no match for your mansion.¡± Even the small armchair beside the table was fluffy. As soon as I sat down in the chair, my whole body loosened up. It felt like I was being rewarded for all of my hard work, having been in a rattling carriage all day. We didn¡¯t want people to recognize the Duke of Hertrio, so we rose in a modest carriage instead of the finest one, which was adorned with Hertrio¡¯s coat of arms. Naturally, we became increasingly tired as we travelled. Watching as I sank back in my chair and clasped my hand together, Calix took off the coat he was wearing. ¡°Would you like to wash up before dinner?¡± ¡°No. You wash up first.¡± I turned down his offer because I wanted to enjoy this chair a little more. ¡°Hmm. Yeah, alright.¡± Calix tilted his head and seemed to think about something for a moment, but quickly agreed. He gathered his things and opened the door to the bathroom. ¡°Take a rest. I¡¯ll wash up first.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± I answered with my eyes closed. After a while, the sound of the bathroom door being closed could be heard, followed by the sound of the water running a little later. Only then did I jump out of my chair with my eyes wide open. ¡®I need to dye my hair before Calix comes out of the bathroom.¡¯ That was the sole thought in my head.