《Waiting for You in a City》 CH 1 At 4 o¡¯clock in the morning, tranquillity resumed in the emergency hall once again. Xu Qin, in a white coat, walked through the hall with her hands in her pockets. The cleaner took the mop, dipped it in disinfectant, and forcefully mopped the bloodstain on the floor. Xu Qin was absentminded and only came to when she reached the cleaner¡¯s side. The cleaner couldn¡¯t avoid her in time, and the mop pushed the blood slop over, covering Xu Qin¡¯s shoes. The cleaner hurriedly apologized: ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Doctor Xu, I¡¯m sorry.¡± Right after that, the cleaner subconsciously rubbed her hands with the cleaning rag. Xu Qin quickly pulled out her hand and stopped the cleaner from squatting down: ¡°You don¡¯t need to, it¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± Xu Qin gently interrupted: ¡°It was my carelessness that inconvenienced you.¡± Hearing this, the cleaner became increasingly embarrassed: ¡°No such thing. Why don¡¯t, I think I¡¯d better help you wipe it off.¡± Xu Qin stopped her once again, and smiled very slightly, ¡°I can take care of it myself.¡± The cleaner felt guilty as well as grateful, ¡°Doctor Xu, you¡¯re a good person.¡± Xu Qin continued walking forward. The cleaner grasped the mop tightly and stared at Xu Qin¡¯s back ¨C a slender and tall figure, the white coat further added a hint of quietness and exquisiteness, her hair cinched together over the shoulders with a rubber band, a few tendrils sprang loose on both sides. The cleaner hesitated for a moment, and lightly called out, ¡°Doctor Xu!¡± The spacious and empty hall echoed. Xu Qin¡¯s footsteps halted and turned around: ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°The person that was sent here just now, was he saved?¡±, the little cleaner asked, subconsciously glancing at the bloodstains under her feet. At this moment, the emergency hall was deadly calm*, you could hear a needle drop, who would have imagined the weeping and hubbub not too long ago, a ball of chaos and disorder. ·çƽÀ˾² f¨¥ng p¨ªng l¨¤ng j¨¬ng lit. breeze is still, waves are quiet (idiom); tranquil environment / all is quiet / a dead calm (at sea) Xu Qin said, ¡°Managed to save.¡± The biggest smile broke out on the cleaner¡¯s face. ¡°That¡¯s awesome. Doctor Xu,¡± she bowed towards Xu Qin, ¡°you¡¯ve worked hard.¡± Xu Qin nodded slightly in response, and turned to leave. Four o¡¯clock, it¡¯s the darkest hour of the night. The deathly pale lights shone down the hospital corridor, the distinctive flavor of life and death filled the air, bitterness, impossible to get rid of. Xu Qin put her hands back into her pockets as usual, passed through the corridor where there¡¯s not a soul in sight*, entered her office, and stood still. She lowered her head and fixed her eyes at the dirty shoes on her feet, a hint of distaste in her eyes. She frowned, and felt extremely disgusted. The blood slop seemed to be able to seep through the surface of the shoe, oozing through the instep and entering the body. ¿ÕÎÞÒ»ÈË k¨­ng w¨² y¨© r¨¦n ¨C not a soul in sight (idiom) Instep Xu Qin quickly sat down on the chair, took off her shoes and threw them into the rubbish bin. The socks were clean, yet she paid no attention to the familiar sight but yanked them off and threw them away as well. She also opened the drawer, pulled out the wet wipes, and vigorously wiped her instep. The skin was rubbed until it became red then right before the skin peeled, she stopped. Xu Qin calmed down and adjusted her breathing little by little. She threw away the tissue, opened the cupboard, put on the spare shoes, turned around and walked to the washstand. She turned on the tap, pumped the soap, rubbed between her hands, rinsed off the foam, pumped the soap once again, rubbed her hands together, rinsed off the foam, back and forth three times. Xu Qin methodically* completed this string of actions, took out her cellphone from the pocket of her white coat and glanced at it, 4:10 am. It was pitch black outside. ÓÐÌõ²»ÎÉ y¨¯u ti¨¢o b¨´ w¨§n ¨C regular and thorough (idiom), methodically arranged The emergency room was peacefully quiet, as if the night was finally going to pass without any mishap. There was a missed call and a text message on the phone from Meng Yanchen: ¡°Come home over the weekend.¡± From the phone¡¯s black screen, Xu Qin saw that her eye sockets were slightly caved in. She had been working non-stop for 22 hours, her whole body felt numb. Xu Qin placed her hand back in her pocket, her index finger gently tapping the cigarette case and lighter, and glanced at the ¡°No Smoking¡± sign on the wall. She stared at the sign for a while, curled her lips, got up and walked to the balcony. Xu Qin leaned against the railing and lit a cigarette in the night wind. Halfway through the puff, a yell came from behind: ¡°Doctor!¡± Xu Qin got up and put out the cigarette, closed the balcony door, and went back indoors to wash her hands three times. Just barely after turning off the tap, an unkempt man covered in ashes rushed in: ¡°Doctor, help!¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes swept over him quickly, no obvious injury: ¡°Where are you not feeling well?¡± The out-of-breath* square-faced man gestured with his hand: ¡°No, my brother*, he¡ª¡± ÉÏÆø²»½ÓÏÂÆø sh¨¤ng q¨¬ b¨´ ji¨¥ xi¨¤ q¨¬ ¨C out of breath (idiom) / to gasp for air ÐÖµÜ xi¨­ng d¨¬ ¨C brothers / younger brother / brotherly / fraternal Just as he finished, three to four dirty and disorderly men entered, the smell of smoke and pungent sweat came through too. The men wore military green tank vests and trousers, each of them tall and rugged, each of them more disheveled than the last, but each one more sloppy than the last, their arms exposed, covered in black ash, who knows from which construction site they came from. The square-faced man took a breath and pointed behind him. Xu Qin looked over and saw a man¡¯s body, wrapped in a tank top, and still did not know who he was pointing to after a while. ¡°He, he has a terrible toothache.¡± Xu Qin suddenly stopped her steps: ¡°Toothache?¡± The square-faced man was still pointing: ¡°Doctor, come over and see him¡­¡± Xu Qin interrupted: ¡°The emergency department does not do dentistry, go register in the outpatient clinic.¡± ¡°The clinic is currently closed.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Then wait for it to open before going.¡± Xu Qin walked to her desk and sat down, tilted her head then saw a group of men staring at her. It was at this moment that Xu Qin saw the ¡°sick¡± man among the crowd, he wore a mask, his thick eyebrows underneath, the eyes above the mask stared straight at her, the gaze sharp and bright. Just a look, and it was enough to see that he was completely different from the people beside him. Xu Qin looked back at him fearlessly: ¡°Did you misunderstand? The emergency department does not do dentistry, go to the outpatient clinic.¡± He didn¡¯t open his mouth, on the contrary, the square-faced man was a little impatient and quick-tempered: ¡°The clinic is not open now, what should I do?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Endure it.¡± ¡°You!¡± The square-faced man clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, as if making a great concession, ¡°Then you can prescribe some painkillers.¡± Xu Qin leaned against the back of the chair and put her hands in her pockets: ¡°I can¡¯t do that.¡± ¡°Why can¡¯t the medicine be prescribed? You¡¯re a doctor, do you know how terrible a toothache is?!¡± Xu Qin replied calmly: ¡°It¡¯s not going to kill you.¡± The square-faced man thought she was being offensive and raised his voice: ¡°What¡¯s with your tone?¡± Xu Qin looked at him: ¡°I am very patiently responding to your endless pestering.¡± The square-faced man was furious: ¡°It seems like you¡ª¡± An older man came up to grab his companion and helped to smooth things over: ¡°Doctor, there¡¯s some misunderstanding, it¡¯s because he didn¡¯t really make it clear just now, we don¡¯t have a toothache. It¡¯s not some kind of cavity, it¡¯s an injury from work, the tooth broke, could you please take a look¡­¡± Then he turned around wanting to take off the man¡¯s mask. Xu Qin lowered her head and flipped over the medical records: ¡°Don¡¯t take it off, as I¡¯m not a dentist, I can¡¯t see to it.¡± ¡°Can you then prescribe some medicine? For pain relief.¡± Xu Qin closed the medical record with a snap: ¡°Can¡¯t prescribe. How many times do you want me to say it?¡± Before she finished speaking, the square-faced man couldn¡¯t help but stride forward, pointing at Xu Qin: ¡°Do you believe that¡ª¡± ¡°Yang Chi!¡± A voice shouted coldly, it came from the man with a mask. The muffled voice endured silently, with unusual resolution. Xu Qin lifted her eyes and glanced at him unconsciously. It was that look again, his eyes dark and bright, staring at her. He rose from his chair: ¡°Sorry for the trouble.¡± Xu Qin did not say a word. The man with the mask took a step, stopped, and asked faintly, ¡°What time does the clinic open?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Eight o¡¯clock.¡± Man: ¡°Thank you.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°No need.¡± The man got up and walked out, but Yang Chi still would not accept it, and followed: ¡°Captain Song, this¡ª¡± Song Yan had already walked out. The others followed and left. Yang Chi was still angrily pointing at Xu Qin while he stomped away. ¡­ Yang Chi ran to catch up with Song Yan and the others, his anger has not subsided: ¡°That doctor¡¯s damn attitude is so terrible, I must complain about her. I saw it when I first entered, the complaint book is by the right door. Jiang Yi, you come with me.¡± Jiang Yi sighed: ¡°I¡¯m just afraid it¡¯s useless to complain, this is the Third Military Hospital. People with no background can¡¯t get in. That young lady just now cost 2,580,000*, who knows what influence she has behind her.¡± 2,580,000 is often used to describe people with money and status. They have their own way to live and are not restricted by the world. If I understood it correctly, the number signifies a trump card in mahjong. Ten thousand because in Chinese, it symbolises good luck. Song Yan walked down the steps and took off his mask, spitting a mouthful of bloody saliva into the trash can. Jiang Yi: ¡°Captain Song, are you alright. If you really can¡¯t, we can call the higher ups?¡± Song Yan: ¡°It¡¯s okay. Let¡¯s go.¡± Yang Chi stood still on the steps, thought about it, and decided to turn back: ¡°This won¡¯t do, I should still complain about her.¡± Song Yan called out to him in a low voice: ¡°Forget about it.¡± Yang Chi wasn¡¯t willing: ¡°No, just thinking about her makes me angry, no matter if it¡¯s of any use, I have to complain.¡± Song Yan said again: ¡°I told you to forget about it.¡± Yang Chi didn¡¯t listen, he turned around and ran up. Song Yan: ¡°Are you really disobeying the damn order?¡± Yang Chi came to a halt, his body leaned forward. Song Yan: ¡°Stand properly for me! ¡ª Attention!¡± Yang Chi straightened up. Song Yan pointed to the other side of the street with his chin: ¡°Return to the team.¡± Yang Chi turned around straight as a ramrod and trotted down the steps. Very late at night, an empty street, a fire truck parked across the street. Jiang Yi stepped forward, wanted to say something. Song Yan frowned and shook his head impatiently in the distance. Jiang Yi stood at attention, saluted, and trotted after Yang Chi. Song Yan stood in place, absentmindedly wiped his dirty face with the mask, and accidentally touched his cheek. He hissed and breathed in the cold air, endured the sharp pain, licked his teeth, and spit out another mouthful of blood. Damn it, having a toothache is so darn ghastly! Song Yan looked back at the direction of Xu Qin¡¯s office, half a second later, he withdrew his gaze. Jiang Yi just got into the car, and Yang Chi asked, ¡°Why do I think Captain Song is not right today?¡± Jiang Yi: ¡°What are you trying to say?¡± Yang Chi: ¡°As far as his temper is concerned, if it¡¯s the usual, he won¡¯t have given face.¡± Jiang Yi: ¡°It must be because she¡¯s a woman?¡± Yang Chi didn¡¯t want to accept it: ¡°Captain Song is so bad-tempered, he¡¯s not that polite to women as well. I guess she¡¯s a beautiful woman.¡± Just as he said it, Song Yan grabbed the handle and jumped into the truck, while hitting the back of Yang Chi¡¯s head. Yang Chi promptly covered his head and begged for mercy: ¡°I¡¯ll shut up!¡± Song Yan: ¡°Drive.¡± The red fire truck slowly started. The whole journey back was clear and the street lights were brilliant. The city was still sleeping, the sky rays slightly lightened. Song Yan placed his hand by the window, the cigarette between his fingers had burned to the end. He glanced back, the men askew and asleep, he smoked the final puff and slowly let it out. The scene in the hospital appeared before him. Her hands in her pockets, leaning against the chair, her chin raised slightly, her expression cold, mercilessly looking at him, just like in the past. Song Yan had never thought before that she would return to China, not only that, but she didn¡¯t recognize him anymore. Ah, it has been almost ten years in the blink of an eye. CH 2 After work, Xu Qin went to the outpatient department of the burn surgery on the ninth floor to look for Professor Xu Ken. Last night during the surgery, she had some doubts, hence she wanted to consult the professor. At 8:00 am, Xu Ken wasn¡¯t at the hospital. Xu Qin asked the nurse and realized that she remembered the wrong date. Professor Xu Ken is always off on Saturday. She thought today was Friday ¡ª recently she has been so exhausted. Xu Qin aggressively rubbed her nose with force, then went to the elevator. When she passed the washroom, she unexpectedly heard her own name. ¡°I heard when Xu Qin returns from the emergency department, she will be promoted to attending physician.¡± That¡¯s Yang Sijia¡¯s voice. She and Xu Qin entered the hospital at the same time. They were interns together and were promoted to resident physicians together. ¡°What?! Attending physician?¡± Zhu Xian is their senior, she clearly sounded unhappy: ¡°Based on what? Just because she studied abroad in the US? She¡¯s just here for a few years, does she have enough experience?¡± ¡°So she was sent to the emergency department, I guess it was done to fool people. Indeed¡ª By the time she¡¯s done, she would be the attending physician. It¡¯s not proper, but no one would find fault with it, it only becomes an exception.¡± Yang Sijia washed her hands and looked at Zhu Xian with eyes full of pity. ¡°I feel that it should be your turn. You are older than her, you have more experience than her. But what can you do, she has connections.¡± Zhu Xian snorted and said: ¡°Everyone can find a connection, depending on who you find. There are a few who came to Third Military Hospital without any connections.¡± Yang Sijia shook her head: ¡°Oh, but her family background is not ordinary. I heard her family name is Meng, but because she doesn¡¯t want to make it public, she changed her family name.¡± ¡°MENG?¡¯¡± Zhu Xian hesitated for a while: ¡°The chief of staff¡¯s¡­. daughter?¡± Yang Sijia shrugged her shoulders. Zhu Xian said nothing and just vented her dissatisfaction by washing her hands with exerted force. She then took the tissue to wipe her hands. After some time, she just threw the tissue into the trash can. ¡°She doesn¡¯t want to make it public? It¡¯s too hilarious. If she doesn¡¯t want to do it then she shouldn¡¯t have gone through the ¡®back door¡¯. I have enough of her, yet I will still be working at the same place as her, I¡­¡­.¡± Zhu Xian choked, Xu Qin watched her from the slightly open door. Xu Qin was so calm and cold. Xu Qin asked indifferently: ¡°You don¡¯t want to work with me, should I help you to talk to the head of department?¡± Because she was so tired, her voice was hoarse. Zhu Xian looked at her with trembling lips, begging for mercy in shame. Xu Qin exerted a little force on her elbows, pushed herself to stand up straight from the wall, raised her chin, glanced at her, then turned and walked away. ¡­¡­. When leaving the hospital parking lot, the security guard friendly greeted her: ¡°Doctor Xu, getting off work?¡± Xu Qin smiled and nodded. She drove her car quickly out of the parking area. The early morning sun was shining so splendidly, it was so bright that Xu Qin felt it was hard to open her eyes. The Meng family¡¯s courtyard was located in the west of the city, it was quite far away from the hospital. Her father felt distressed to see her working so hard so he bought her an apartment at Zong Lu Gardens area, a block next to the hospital. It was a 10 minute drive to make it easier for her to commute to and from work. The house was very new, it faces south, and the space was large. Xu Qin lived alone in an empty space, but she had no sense of loneliness. Having been away for many years, what she was best at was living alone in the urban jungle. Maybe because she continuously stayed up late, Xu Qin had a sore throat. She remembered that she has a kettle at home yet she had forgotten where she placed it. She searched for it in the kitchen cupboard for a while. Then she took it out and tore open all the plastics. She washed the kettle clean and poured two bottles of water inside. When she was about to heat it up, she noticed that the plug of the kettle was an English style plug. Xu Qin held it and stood there for a few seconds, she sighed and also didn¡¯t know where the butler bought it from. She tried to find whether she had another adapter for the plug. Finally she just let it be, and opened up a bottle of water. The cold water somehow made her throat hurt. She frowned yet she finished the water anyways, then she went to the bathroom to take a shower. She dried her hair before heading to bed to sleep. Xu Qin slept so soundly, yet in a daze she could hear a siren. She knew that it wasn¡¯t an ambulance so she didn¡¯t wake up. Till the next moment, there was a bell ringing. It sounded urgent, the person also knocked very hard on her door. ¡°Ms. Xu?! Ms. Xu?!¡± Xu Qin suddenly woke up, there was the sound of a siren outside. She opened the door and saw that it was the security guard from this apartment complex, he looked anxious and terrified. He was sweaty: ¡°Please go down quickly, Wu Fang Street is burning. Your car is blocking the passage for the firefighters.¡± Xu Qin sobered up, and quickly wore her shoes: ¡°I¡¯ll go down now.¡± ¡°Bring your car key!¡± Xu Qin closed her door and then she asked: ¡°That part is part of the firefighter¡¯s route? I see that the residents parked their cars there.¡± The security guard pulled a long face: ¡°Yes, everyone is blocking that path, which is a major issue. Hurry up, I still have a lot of residents I haven¡¯t contacted yet.¡± The security guard ran away: ¡°It¡¯s over, it¡¯s over. This time it¡¯s so over.¡± Xu Qin took the elevator, looked at the window and noticed a thick cloud of smoke not too far away. Xu Qin¡¯s apartment was located in Zong Lu Gardens, which was a famous high-end community. The apartment there cost two to three times higher than the area surrounding it. It was a new area that had everything available all around. Wu Fang Street is near Zong Lu Gardens, it was widely known as a poor and old area. In the past, it was inhabited by craftsmen. But after, it gradually transformed into a small commodities street and was the lowest rung of society residence. A few years ago, Dong Cheng planned to develop Wu Fang Street, so they would need to demolish the buildings and relocate the inhabitants, but there were lots of people living there. Most of them had no property rights and the developer of that area wasn¡¯t willing to give enough compensation. This led to those people having no place to live and both sides couldn¡¯t come to an agreement. The developer had planned to use force to demolish it. Luckily there was a famous domestic director who found it to have a great view and made Wu Fang Street part of his film. The community started to appeal to protect that area of the city because of its culture and architecture. They wanted to leave the vintage image of Wu Fang Street. It created a great controversy. At last, Wu Fang Street turned into a famous scenic spot and couldn¡¯t be demolished. Year by year, the area turned from plain to an impressive place ¡ª all around that area were great buildings with European style residences and a sub-central business district (SCBD). It had wide streets and was so crowded. The local people were bantering that the area had changed into ¡°New York Central Garden¡±. Zong Lu Gardens was on the other side of Wu Fang Street, it was just separated by an alley. Due to the quality problems in the underground parking garage of Zong Lu Gardens, some areas were being repaired, and there was no place to park in the community, so some residents left their cars outside. The small alley at the back became their first choice. A long line of cars parked in the alley, leaving a one-way street, day by day without incident. Who would have thought that the fire trucks would have difficulties getting through? Xu Qin went out of her building from the back door and ran into the alley. The fire sirens were deafening, and the crowd rushed towards them. Everyone panicked and ran out. The men pulled women and children, and the young people supported the elderly and children. Several firefighters came to instruct them. Crowd evacuation: ¡°Don¡¯t push! Just walk! Don¡¯t run!¡± Xu Qin saw thick smoke billowing from somewhere inside, blowing with the wind, and rushed towards the nearby SCBD building. Many car owners slowly moved their cars in the crowd. Several fire trucks were at the alley entrance, their red lights flashing. The driver of the fire engine was too anxious to swear: ¡°Where is the property manager?! Hurry up! Ask people to move their car!¡± The car at the entrance of the alley moved out, the fire truck slowly moved in, after only two parking spaces, it was blocked again. Along the way, the screams of the women and the cries of the children were incessant. The ground was full of water, and the firefighters pulled the water hose but the length was limited, so they could only spray the water through the wall. Part of the high pressure water reflected back, splashed off the leaves on the wall, and wetted Xu Qin¡¯s hair and clothes. She ran to the side of the car and took out the key. Just as she was about to press the door button, a woman ran past and slammed into her. The key fell on the ground and rolled underneath the car. Xu Qin knelt down and leaned beside the car. Dirty water was flowing under the car, she felt disgusted for a while, she gritted her teeth and took a breath, stretched her arms and tried to get the key, but she couldn¡¯t reach it. Through the bottom of the car, she saw the shoes of the people on the other side running by. The two firefighters¡¯ fire-resistant trousers were in sight ¡ª dark blue, with a bright yellow gold border. ¡°It is estimated that the owners of the remaining cars cannot be contacted. What should we do?¡± The man¡¯s voice was cold with a hint of anger: ¡°Dammit, just lift them.¡± ¡°How should we do it?!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t wait for it to burn to the ground? Everyone come over, lift the cars!¡± The man came over from the other side and ordered them. ¡°Captain Song, look at these license plates, they are all¡­¡± ¡°You dick, I¡¯ll bear the responsibility.¡± The man said coldly, his voice close to Xu Qin¡¯s head. Xu Qin lowered her center of gravity and finally fished out the key from the muddy water. She grabbed the car door and stood up, only to hear an angry rebuke from behind, the man¡¯s voice furious and angry: ¡°Is this your car? Did you know this is the fire trucks route!¡± Xu Qin pressed the button, opened the car door, turned around and apologized: ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡­¡± Song Yan was standing behind her in a dark blue firefighter uniform and a hard hat. The man frowned and looked at her impatiently, even with a hint of disgust. Xu Qin¡¯s mind was blank. The moment she saw that face, she went completely blank. Song Yan pushed her without any politeness and roared, ¡°Dammit, why the hell are you still standing here?! Hurry up and drive away!¡± Xu Qin stumbled into the car and came back to her senses, there was chaos all around. Looking back again, Song Yan strode towards another car. Xu Qin sat in the car and tried inserting the key several times before entering the keyhole. She started the car, followed the crowd slowly moving away from the alley, and glanced at Song Yan as she passed by. Song Yan and several firefighters carried the car to the side of the road. The men had blue veins stretched on their heads, their bodies strained, and there was a violent roar. The side of the car was lifted up and overturned onto the side of the road, hitting the trees with the leaves rustling. They didn¡¯t stop and went to another unclaimed car. Behind them, the fire truck flashes its lights, creeping forward a little bit. He became smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror and disappeared. Xu Qin remembered that Song Yan¡¯s home was on Wu Fang Street too. Xu Qin parked the car outside her apartment building, her heartbeat had calmed down. Thinking back to just now, Song Yan didn¡¯t recognize her at all, looking at her like an ignorant and stupid citizen. He didn¡¯t remember her. She glanced at the running crowd in the rearview mirror, took out her mobile phone, and called the emergency center in the hospital. ¡°There is a fire on Wu Fang Street, have you received a report of the fire?¡± ¡°The ambulances are on their way.¡± Xu Qin put down her phone, tied up her loose hair with a rubber band, got out of the car, and ran to the alley again. CH 3 All around the central business district buildings, white collar workers crowded in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, taking photos with their phones. As Wu Fang Street billowed with thick smoke, the people inside desperately ran out while the people outside clamored with curiosity. The streets were crowded. Xu Qin struggled to break through the crowd and squeezed to the entrance of the alley. The firefighters and officers had cordoned off the area, shouting at bystanders taking pictures: ¡°Everyone disperse! Disperse! ¡ªHey you, why are you still trying to run inside?¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°I¡¯m a doctor.¡± The skinny firefighter looked at her suspiciously: ¡°Which hospital are you from?¡± Xu Qin replied: ¡°Third Military Hospital.¡± The other party lifted the barricade tape, Xu Qin bent under to pass through and ran into the alleyway. Several vehicles that were blocking the road had been rolled onto their side to allow fire trucks to enter. Firefighters sprayed the high pressure water cannon towards the burning row of houses. The damp burning smell swept over by the black smoke assaulted Xu Qin¡¯s senses, causing her eyes to water. Wu Fang Street was full of old houses, many with wooden foundation. The houses were connected, so the space between them was narrow and dense, allowing the fire to spread extremely quickly. Even though there were now four high pressure water cannons in use, the fire had not weakened. Most of the residents had been evacuated, only firefighters remained at the front lines. The fire captains and instructors of several nearby squadrons gathered to look at the topographic map. The fire trucks were on the main road of the block, the fire had already spread to the side roads, many of which were alleyways that were too narrow for the fire trucks to enter and could only rely on the spray from the water cannons. Song Yan suggested: ¡°Send in small squads to extinguish the fires.¡± The captain of the Wu Fang Street squadron thought this was inappropriate: ¡°I¡¯m against it.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Why?¡± ¡°A lot of the houses here have hidden safety hazards, if the fire continues to burn, it will be easy for the roof beams to collapse and the floor to cave in. It¡¯s too dangerous for us to go inside. Besides, the correspondents have surveyed the area, all the families are accounted for, no one is left. There¡¯s really no need to take risks.¡± Another squad captain said: ¡°I agree.¡± Song Yan shook his head, pointing at the map: ¡°Look here, the houses in the area that are currently burning are made from brick and concrete, yet still haven¡¯t been able to be brought under control. But if it spreads to this area¡­¡­¡± Song Yan pushed his finger, pointing to the region adjacent to the burning area: ¡°These are all wooden buildings from the Republican Era. Once the fire spreads here, it will be too late. The affected area will be at least twice or even larger than it is now, possibly becoming completely out of control. Moreover¡ª¡± ¡°Moreover?¡± Song Yan tugged at the corner of his mouth: ¡°There are a lot of non-natives living alone in these apartments, if a couple of them are trapped, no one would realize that they are missing.¡± Everyone¡¯s faces turned grim, the instructor made the decision at once: ¡°Do as Song Yan said. Assemble.¡± Several teams planned out their route, quickly donned their fire extinguishers, and entered the scene of the fire under the cover of the high pressure water cannons. When Xu Qin ran over, she saw Song Yan¡¯s silhouette disappear behind the thick smoke of the raging inferno. The yellow caution stripe on his clothes flashed once in the darkness before disappearing. The waves of heat surged forward, surrounded by flames and smoke. Xu Qin covered her nose and coughed violently, retreating dozens of meters away. Her face was aching from the heat and she couldn¡¯t imagine what it would have been like for the firefighters. Not long after entering, there was a sudden explosion. The instructor reached for the walkie-talkie: ¡°Song Yan?! Song Yan! What¡¯s the situation?!¡± The walkie-talkie chirped twice, and a laugh comes through: ¡°Someone¡¯s gas tank exploded. What, scared that I died?¡± Suo Jun was speechless: ¡°Dammit, be more serious.¡± ¡°Hanging up.¡± ¡­¡­ ¡°No one¡¯s allowed to go inside without an order.¡± Song Yan shouted, instructing his team members to spread out to extinguish the fire. The firemen scattered around the winding alleys, raising their extinguishers to put out the fire. Faced with a sea of fire, everyone was trying their best to save an isolation belt to prevent it from spreading. At this moment, there was a faint cry of a young man: ¡°Help!¡± The voice gradually became clearer: ¡°Help! Is anyone there, help!¡± Song Yan was the first to hear it, lifting his hand to give an order. The people around him stopped, prickling their ears to listen while holding their breath amongst the crackling sounds of the fire. ¡°Fuck.¡± Song Yan cursed, roaring: ¡°Everyone look up, search!¡± Yang Chi was the first to find it: ¡°There!¡± Song Yan: ¡°Which fucking direction?¡± Yang Chi: ¡°Eleven o¡¯clock!¡± A young man leaned against a third floor anti-theft window and weakly called for help. When he saw Song Yan, he wailed: ¡°Save me, I¡¯m begging you, please save me!¡± Xiao* Ge ran over: ¡°Captain Song, Jiang Yi and I can go in to save him.¡± Song Yan glanced over at the building and made a judgment: ¡°No. This building is rented out as individual small rooms, if every tenant has a gas tank, you won¡¯t be able to make it out even with ten lives.¡± As he was talking, a gust of wind came, billowing black smoke poured out of the window like a dark cloud. No more sound came from upstairs. Song Yan immediately took off his firefighter suit. He was covered in sweat, but the high temperatures quickly evaporated it off his body. Jiang Yi was shocked: ¡°Captain Song, you were already disciplined for taking off your fire suit last time.¡± Song Yan cast a glance at him: ¡°There¡¯s only a few of us here, who dares to tell? Huh?¡± Everyone shut up. Song Yan grabbed the drain pipe on the wall with his bare hands and climbed up to the third floor in just two or three strokes. Looking inside, the young man had already fainted. The anti-theft window was scalding to the touch, Song Yan grabbed it and shook vigorously, releasing a cloud of dust. Song Yan clung to the outside wall, with one foot on the air-conditioner panel and the other against the water pipe, bowed his head and yelled: ¡°Rope!¡± Xiao Ge tossed up two ropes in quick succession. Song Yan bound the anti-theft window with a rope: ¡°Ready.¡± Seven or eight firefighters on the ground grasped the rope firmly, exerting strength: ¡°One, two, three!¡± The entire row of anti-theft windows fell in response. Song Yan quickly dodged, and with one turn in the air, stepped onto the weatherboard of the neighboring window. Song Yan pushed off the wall for support, turning over to land on the third floor. The high temperature inside the room was like a steamer, black smoke filled the air. He narrowed his eyes, swiftly tied the rope around the young man¡¯s waist, tied the other end to the window frame, and sent him down. Yang Chi caught the young man, immediately carrying him out on his back. Just as Song Yan was about to flip over and go back down, the door panel burned through. Flames threateningly swept into the narrow single room. Song Yan cast a glance at the gas tank in the corner, and yelled down: ¡°Get out of the way!¡± He flipped over the balcony, grabbed the rope and rapidly descended. In the same instant, there was a violent explosion. Glass, metal, walls, wooden planks all exploded. The window frame split, and Song Yan dropped down. ¡­¡­ The sound of explosions came from the fire, the smoke gradually became lighter, and more firefighters went in with their extinguishers. Suddenly, a firefighter with a young man on his back rushed out: ¡°Where is the doctor? Who knows first aid?¡± Xu Qin immediately stepped forward: ¡°Me.¡± Yang Chi¡¯s face was covered in ash, when he raised his face and saw Xu Qin, he was stunned for a moment. Xu Qin also recognized him, but had no time to waste: ¡°Quickly put him down!¡± Yang Chi immediately set him on the ground. Xu Qin quickly inspected his pupils and carotid artery: ¡°Asphyxiated.¡± Xu Qin lifted his chin, dug out the cotton balls in his nose, pried open his mouth, and cleaned out the towel fragments. Then she loosened the collar of his shirt and said calmly: ¡°Leave this to me, you can go.¡± Yang Chi hesitated for a moment, then quickly rushed into the fire again without looking back. Xu Qin knelt, and began to give artificial respiration and CPR to the unconscious patient. She didn¡¯t hand off the patient until several of her colleagues stepped forward to help. By this time, the fire was under control. Song Yan and the others came out. Every one of them looked to be in a sorry state, faces and bodies covered in black ash. Xu Qin stood by the side of the road looking at Song Yan. In one instant, his eyes met hers, then looked away without stopping. Another group of firefighters went to do an inspection, in case there were still any uncontrolled fires. The first team of firefighters who had gone in and came back out rested against the wall or fire trucks in twos and threes. Some were thinking while flushing their eyes with water, some were so tired they dropped to the ground to sleep. Song Yan sat on the ground, leaning against a telephone pole. He leaned his head back to pour water into his mouth, his Adam¡¯s apple moved up and down. The ground was wet and muddy but he didn¡¯t care, as his clothes were so dirty they looked like they had been fished out of a pile of ash and stomped on non-stop by hundreds of people. But¡ª¡ªHe¡¯s still really manly dammit. Xu Qin stood on the curb, which wasn¡¯t much cleaner. She watched Song Yan without blinking, through the passing firefighters and spray of water cannons. Song Yan put down his water bottle, his eyes falling, and saw Xu Qin. He looked at her for a few seconds, and suddenly the corner of his lips twitched with interest. He lifted his chin at her, raised his eyebrows, and the next second, he whistled. It was like cat-calling at a beautiful woman at the side of the road. ¡°Song Yan!¡± Suo Jun shouted at him to stop and lowered his voice: ¡°Fuck it again!¡± Song Yan was unconcerned, his thick fingers wiped at his chin to erase the water stains. Suo Jun smiled in Xu Qin¡¯s direction: ¡°Comrade, I¡¯m sorry, he¡¯s just like that, he doesn¡¯t mean any harm.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t respond, walking directly to Song Yan. Song Yan squinted at her, unable to restrain the smile on his face. Xu Qin stopped a few steps away from him and said: ¡°Song Yan, come here, I have something to say to you.¡± Suo Jun was flabbergasted, do these two know each other? Song Yan tilted his head slightly, gazed up at Xu Qin, stared for a bit, finally stood up, patted his butt, and walked towards her. Xu Qin turned and walked towards the side of the road, but Song Yan brushed past her and walked in the direction of the fire truck. Yes, she had thought too much. Xu Qin stopped halfway and turned to look back. He jumped up into the fire truck, leaving her with his indifferent, smiling side profile. The fire truck slowly drove away. Xu Qin¡¯s face turned red, as if burned by the hot air nearby. Xu Qin walked out slowly, the fire truck also on its way out. Individual and car were moving in parallel, neither looked at each other. After leaving Wu Fang Street, a young man in a red t-shirt blocked the fire truck¡¯s path: ¡°Stop the car! Stop the car dammit!¡± The driver stopped. Several fire trucks stopped one after another, blocking the alley. The young man was furious as he paced back and forth alongside several fire trucks, pointing his finger aggressively at the firefighters inside: ¡°You, fuck, you all!¡± He pointed to a Porsche that had been turned on its side, red in the face: ¡°Who flipped it?¡± Song Yan sat in the passenger seat, his right hand hanging out of the window, hands covered in blisters and scratches. He turned slightly, stuck his head out of the car, and said: ¡°I flipped it. Problem?¡± When he said this, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly, but it was hard to say if it was a smile. Red t-shirt didn¡¯t expect the firefighter to have such a backbone, he pointed with a shaking finger and demanded: ¡°Come down here.¡± Song Yan opened the door of the truck and jumped down, taking off his fireproof jacket. He had only an army green singlet underneath, soaking wet, stuck against his tall, sturdy body. Passing by Xu Qin, he left only a shadow. Song Yan walked over and raised his chin slightly. Red t-shirt was a head shorter, with thin arms and legs, skinnier than him. Seeing his intimidating presence, he couldn¡¯t help but take a step back and said bravely: ¡°You, do you know who I am? If you apologize and compensate me well I¡¯ll let it pass this time, otherwise you can wait for your dismissal.¡± Song Yan stared at him for so long, red t-shirt was starting to feel guilty, said angrily: ¡°Look at this license plate, you know who I am¡­¡­?¡± Song Yan smiled, turning around suddenly to kick the car so loudly a dent was smashed into the license plate. Red t-shirt flushed but didn¡¯t dare make a move, only kept pointing at him and repeating: ¡°You, you you¡ª¡ªdo you know I am¡ª¡ª¡± Song Yan took a step forward and approached: ¡°I don¡¯t care who the hell you are. Occupying the fire exit, turning a fire that can be extinguished in ten minutes into one that took two hours, burnt 78 households. What the hell are you doing? No one died and none of the wooden houses burned. The disaster was already enough for your rotten car to make headlines. If I were you, I¡¯d tuck my tail and get lost.¡± He finished talking, glancing at the man: ¡°Nan Cheng District Shi Li Tai Fire Squadron, Song Yan, go file your complaint.¡± Red t-shirt stood there, dumbfounded. Song Yan strode to the fire truck, grabbed the handle, and effortlessly jumped into the seat. The truck started and drove away. Xu Qin stood in place, calmly watched the giant red monster leave, her heart trembling as if shaken by the wind: after so many years, his arrogant personality has not changed at all, not even a little. Translator¡¯s note: xi¨£o С ¨C little When we add xiao + surname, it generally becomes a nickname. So in this occassion, Xiao Ge С¸ð = Little Ge, Ge being the surname (we are presuming at this point). sh¨ª l¨« t¨¢i Ê®Àį̈ ¨C the name of Song Yan¡¯s squadron. We¡¯ll be using Shi Li Tai Fire Squadron. CH 4 It wasn¡¯t until Xu Qin got home that she found a series of missed calls on her phone. She was about to call back when Meng Yanchen¡¯s call came. ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°There was a fire in your area?¡± Meng Yanchen asked. ¡°The next street over. I¡¯m fine here.¡± Xu Qin kicked off her shoes and walked into the room barefoot. ¡°That¡¯s good.¡± Meng Yanchen asked again, ¡°Have you been busy recently?¡± ¡°A little.¡± Xu Qin passed by the floor-to-ceiling mirror and caught a glimpse of her body covered with flecks of mud. She furrowed her eyebrows, feeling uncomfortable, ¡°I¡¯ll tell you later, going to take a shower. I¡¯m going home tomorrow to see our parents.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Meng Yanchen hung up the phone. Standing under the shower, Xu Qin saw the splashing water and suddenly remembered Song Yan¡¯s rude eyes, his handsome face covered with black soot and sweat, with a wicked expression, exactly the same as before. At that time, Xu Qin was only a middle school student. It would have been summer. Xu Qin was on her way home after school, but was stopped by Song Yan and his gang of hooligans. Xu Qin was accustomed to walking with her head down. It wasn¡¯t until she almost stepped on Song Yan¡¯s shoes that she realized her vision was being blocked by someone, and raised her head. Song Yan raised his chin: ¡°Your name is Meng Qin right?¡± Xu Qin was silent. Song Yan rushed to her and said, ¡°I have a crush on you.¡± His friends giggled, Song Yan frowned, turning around to curse: ¡°Fucking get lost! Can¡¯t you see I was coaxing your sister-in-law? Whoever makes a sound again, I will beat him to death!¡± The group stepped back in a circle, Song Yan looked back at Xu Qin and frowned: ¡°Speak.¡± Xu Qin stared at him for a while and said: ¡°I don¡¯t know you.¡± ¡°My name is Song Yan, I¡¯m your man.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head disinterestedly and continued to walk forward silently. Song Yan put his hands in his pockets, raised his chin and looked at the sky with a smile. His long legs moved, and his tall body blocked Xu Qin¡¯s path. Xu Qin went to the left, he calmly blocked the left side; she walked to the right, he blocked the way to the right unperturbed. With this back and forth, Xu Qin raised her head to look at him again, her gaze indifferent. Song Yan tilted his head slightly, raised his chin to look down at her, both smiling and not: ¡°I¡¯m asking you something. We¡¯re not done talking, why are you running? Huh?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t answer and tried to take the opportunity to run away. Song Yan quickly blocked her way, Xu Qin couldn¡¯t avoid it in time and bumped into him. ¡°Aiya1¡ª¡± He hummed vaguely and laughed, ¡°Come, fall into me again, fall into my heart.¡± Xu Qin backed up, blushing slightly, and finally broke her silence: ¡°Rogue!¡± Song Yan, who had kept his hands in his pockets, wiggled his arms at her as proof, and said innocently: ¡°What did I do?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Why are you blocking my way?¡± Song Yan raised his chin: ¡°I have taken a fancy to you, who do I block if not you?¡± Xu Qin was silent. ¡°Did you hear what I just said? Huh?¡± Song Yan lowered his head and looked her in the eyes, ¡°If you don¡¯t talk, I won¡¯t let you go.¡± Young Xu Qin stood there with a blank expression, looking at him, not speaking or leaving. The two stood at a stalemate, neither of them willing to give in, and eventually stood up to each other, ten minutes, twenty minutes, half an hour, an hour¡­¡­ Maybe people can only be childish and stubborn to that extent when they are in their youth. Xu Qin was absentminded for a moment, and turned off the faucet abruptly. It was just a chance encounter, we won¡¯t see each other again. But it was an unimportant person, and she didn¡¯t expect to see him again. When she went home the following day, she ran into a bit of trouble. Xu Qin forgot to bring her pass. The soldier standing guard at the gate was probably a newcomer. He didn¡¯t recognize her or remember her license plate, so she was stopped and asked to sign in. Xu Qin rummaged through the bag for a while, raised her head, and said softly: ¡°I just happened to change my wallet, and forgot my ID card.¡± The guard asked: ¡°Who are you looking for?¡± Xu Qin paused for a second and said: ¡°Meng Huaijin, Chief of Staff.¡± The man standing guard was still doubtful, looking her up and down. Xu Qin sat in the car and didn¡¯t say a word, but wondered why the sun was still so hot when it was already evening, making the inside of the car unexpectedly stuffy and humid. As the guard was about to say something else, another soldier strode over and gave a salute. The young man standing guard didn¡¯t know the reason, but he followed and saluted as well. The soldier raised the railing: ¡°Miss Meng, I¡¯m sorry for the inconvenience, he¡¯s new here and wasted your time.¡± Xu Qin smiled lightly: ¡°It¡¯s alright.¡± She stepped on the accelerator slightly, drove into the courtyard, and the two soldiers saluted as she passed. This family courtyard was built in the 1980s, with red walls and white tiles, lined with green trees, and had a rather old-fashioned style. Although it was adjacent to the West District city center, it was surrounded by lakes on three sides and faced the museum and library, a rare quiet spot amidst the noise. Xu Qin parked the car but wasn¡¯t in a rush to enter the house, her chest felt tight and stuffy. She smoked a cigarette behind the bushes, stood in the shade of the tree, the air was cool, and her mood gradually relaxed. She saw a little yellow amongst the green leaves. It was still summer, but on the ginkgo tree on the other side of the wall, there was a patch of leaves that had turned slightly yellow, like a child who had been naughty. Back then, Song Yan had hopped over this wall to find her. That rascal had memorized the frequency of patrols going back and forth. But that¡¯s out of the question now, there are security cameras installed all over the wall. Xu Qin put out the cigarette, sprayed some perfume on her hands, and walked out of the bushes. When she reached the front door, Meng Yanchen¡¯s car drove up. Xu Qin stood there, waiting for Meng Yanchen in his military uniform to get out of the car. Since he was little, Meng Yanchen had been the best looking boy in the area. His appearance in his youth could even be described as beautiful. On the contrary, in recent years, after putting on the military uniform, his delicacy had faded and he had a more heroic spirit. The older he got, the more he looked like Meng Huaijin when he was younger: unhurried, upright and disciplined, every one of his gestures had an air of nobility. Meng Yanchen kept his eyes locked on Xu Qin: ¡°You seem to have lost weight?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°It¡¯s not that dramatic. How long has it been since the last time you came back?¡± Meng Yanchen took off his military cap: ¡°Two weeks.¡± Xu Qin was going up the steps, and turned her head to stare at him: ¡°And you¡¯re one to talk?¡± Meng Yanchen looked at her slightly indignant expression, paused for a moment, then smiled and followed her into the house. Xu Qin entered and changed her shoes, calling out: ¡°Dad, Mom.¡± Meng Yanchen followed in her footsteps: ¡°Dad, Mom.¡± Fu Wenying came out of the study: ¡°Why did you two come back together?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°We ran into each other at the front door. Where¡¯s my dad?¡± ¡°He went to play chess with Xiao Yixiao¡¯s father. It¡¯s almost mealtime, he should be back soon.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I just sweat in the car, I¡¯ll go upstairs to change my clothes.¡± Fu Wenying frowned slightly, looked around for a while, and asked with a smile: ¡°Who smoked?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t respond. ¡°Me.¡± Meng Yanchen said, ¡°I just smoked a cigarette in the car. I aired myself out for a while, but you still smelled it.¡± Fu Wenying continued to smile: ¡°Did you forget the house rules?¡± Meng Yanchen raised his hand: ¡°Don¡¯t bring the smell of cigarettes home, I promise there will be no next time.¡± Xu Qin went upstairs and closed the door, glancing around her room, it seemed that nothing had changed. She went to the table and opened the drawer, her sawdust and small carvings had been cleaned out again. Fu Wenying has always disliked her carving, saying that she spent all day sitting in her room woodcarving, not speaking to anyone. A good girl, spoiling her brain. She also didn¡¯t like her being a surgeon, saying that there were too many germs, that it was thankless, and that the profession of a doctor was not what a child of their family should be doing. Xu Qin closed the drawer, picked out a dress from the closet, and started to undress. Meng Yanchen knocked on the door twice, and pushed it open at the same time: ¡°Qin Qin2¡ª¡ª¡± Xu Qin¡¯s shirt was half off, her pale pink shoulders and blue bra were exposed. Her dark eyes calmly looked at Meng Yanchen. Meng Yanchen held his phone by his ear, was stunned for a while, then pulled the door halfway closed, then paused again. Xu Qin asked: ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Yixiao called. He got a room in Wan Liu and asked if we wanted to go in the evening.¡± Xu Qin nodded: ¡°Yes.¡± Meng Yanchen closed the door, stood behind with his head down for a while, then turned and left. Xiao Yixiao was their neighbor, a buddy born in the same year, same month and same day as Meng Yanchen. However, one is like fire and the other is like ice. From childhood to adulthood, neither will give in to each other. If you go east, then I¡¯ll stubbornly go west. The first time the two ever reconciled was actually upon the arrival of Xu Qin. Xu Qin didn¡¯t like to talk, but only liked to carve wood with a knife, like a little robot. Xiao Yixiao liked this little sister a lot, and looked at her curiously. Sometimes he touched her hand or poked her face, but she didn¡¯t cry or make noise, she just looked at him with her round black pupils. Xiao Yixiao liked this a lot and ran over to the Meng residence every day. Meng Yanchen chased him away: ¡°This is my little sister, not yours.¡± Xiao Yixiao was so angry that he went back and threw a tantrum at his mother: ¡°I want a little sister too. She has to be exactly the same as Xiao Qin.¡± His mother gave him a beating. Xiao Yixiao had heard Fu Wenying say that Xu Qin was going to get sick from staying at home all the time, so he climbed the window every day to play with Xu Qin, and told Xu Qin how fun it was outside in order to lure her out. One day, Xu Qin carved a little man and wordlessly stuffed it into Xiao Yixiao¡¯s hands. Xiao Yixiao saw that the carving was a miniature version of himself. He was so happy that he excitedly took it to Meng Yanchen to show off. Meng Yanchen chuckled and showed him a drawer of more than a dozen wood carvings of little Meng Yanchen. Xiao Yixiao was so angry that he almost bit Meng Yanchen to death. Xu Qin had been overprotected by these two since she was a child and had few friends. Outside the courtyard, her communication with the outside world was like a dragonfly skimming the water. Only Song Yan was an exception. After dinner, Meng Yanchen said that he was going to hang out with Xiao Yixiao. Fu Wenying didn¡¯t ask further, it was seldom that she approved, but did ask why Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t learn from Xiao Yixiao and find a girlfriend. Meng Yanchen pretended he didn¡¯t hear. Xiao Yixiao was a typical local child, and liked to gather his friends to hang out nightly. From east to west of the city, from south to north, there were no people that he didn¡¯t recognize or places he hadn¡¯t been. He had a lot of friends, and a lot of girlfriends. Xu Qin once said that he was fickle, but Xiao Yixiao spread his hands: ¡°How can you call me fickle, I¡¯ve loved you for so many years, heaven and earth as my witness.¡± Xu Qin couldn¡¯t be bothered to pay attention to his jokes. He had been mischievous since childhood and was beaten by his father until the age of twenty-eight. He had no interest in traditional careers, and liked to socialize to do business. The most naughty one had actually become the richest. Xiao Yixiao was a frequent customer of Wan Liu, and spent practically every night here receiving guests to talk business, appreciate wine and beauties, and spend money extravagantly. Meng Yanchen only had to mention Xiao Yixiao¡¯s name for the tall and handsome waiter to bend at the waist to lead the way. Passing by the dazzling elevator, Xu Qin inadvertently saw the red fire hydrant. There was a ¡°fire safety inspection¡± column on the side, which recorded the inspection date, inspector unit, name, and evaluation status. ¡°April 16th, Nancheng District Fire Brigade, Wang Xuankai, authorized.¡± ¡­¡­ ¡°September 17, Nancheng District Fire Brigade, Zhang Haoke, authorized.¡± The elevator ding-donged, the door opened, Xiao Yixiao was inside. Meng Yanchen: ¡°Where are you going?¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°We are honored by Doctor Xu¡¯s presence, have to personally go downstairs to pick her up.¡± Xu Qin turned her head and said lightly: ¡°With these skills, save it to coax your girlfriend.¡± Xiao Yixiao caught her expression, looked back at the form, and asked: ¡°What are you looking at?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± The elevator went up slowly, Xu Qin suddenly said, ¡°I saw Song Yan last week.¡± Meng Yanchen and Xiao Yixiao each had a different expression on their faces. Xiao Yixiao was the first to ask: ¡°What is he up to? My guess is he won¡¯t be a local boss like me.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes dimmed and said, ¡°Firefighter.¡± There was silence in the elevator, and Xu Qin could hear the pity in the silence. Meng Yanchen, who has always maintained self-restraint, snorted: ¡°I knew that kid wouldn¡¯t have much success.¡± Xu Qin smiled lightly: ¡°Yes.¡± Translator¡¯s notes: 1 ¨¡i y¨¡ °¥Ñ½ ¨C interjection of wonder, shock or admiration 2 Q¨¬n Q¨¬n ÇßÇß ¨C Xu Qin¡¯s name doubled up. It¡¯s a form of nickname. Something that happens normally during childhood and breeds familiarity. CH 5 Xu Qin was the last to get out of the elevator, and Xiao Yixiao slowed down. Xu Qin asked: ¡°What are you looking at?¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°Thinking about Song Yan?¡± Xu Qin was indifferent: ¡°What is there to think of him?¡± Xiao Yixiao was speechless for a while, he smiled and rubbed Xu Qin¡¯s head abrasively. ¡­¡­¡­. The lanterns flowed, the lights were ambiguous, and an old song was playing at a very low volume on the screen. The two hostesses knelt by the coffee table and poured water and wine. Xu Qin went to the bathroom, Meng Yanchen was drinking water on the sofa. Xiao Yixiao sat beside him and pushed him. The water in Meng Yanchen¡¯s cup shook very lightly: ¡°What?¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°Are there any women around you recently?¡± Meng Yanchen shook his head. Xiao Yixiao glanced at his crotch: ¡°Do you have something to hide, kid?¡± Meng Yanchen glanced at him lightly: ¡°Would you like to try it?¡± Xiao Yixiao looked disgusted: ¡°Fuck you! I¡¯m not interested in men.¡± One of the hostesses snickered, Xiao Yixiao pretended to be annoyed: ¡°What are you laughing at? Huh?¡± The hostess knew that he was not angry and smiled even more. Xiao Yixiao turned Meng Yanchen¡¯s face over: ¡°Let me ask you two, is he handsome?¡± Meng Yanchen moved Xiao Yixiao¡¯s hand: ¡°Go away.¡± The waitress pursed her lips and smiled, a blush on her face. Xiao Yixiao: ¡°Is he handsome? Huh? Him.¡± The two young hostesses nodded. Xiao Yixiao continued to tease the girl: ¡°He¡¯s handsome, or I¡¯m handsome?¡± Meng Yanchen couldn¡¯t bear it any longer: ¡°Are you bored?¡± The young hostess dared to raise her chin at Meng Yanchen: ¡°Him.¡± Xiao Yixiao lost his smile, stared at the young woman faintly, and after a second, the corner of his lips twitched: ¡°You don¡¯t have a tip tonight.¡± The young woman, who wasn¡¯t getting any tip, just stayed silent. Xiao Yixiao stopped making trouble, ate a slice of orange, and suddenly said, ¡°That day, Xiao Qin said something to me.¡± Meng Yanchen looked over. Xiao Yixiao: ¡°She said, your mother told her that this so-called life is all about not getting what you want most. It is precisely when you can¡¯t get what you want. If you get it, you will quickly leave it behind.¡± Meng Yanchen stared at him. Xiao Yixiao: ¡°One¡¯s life is really long, it is a great blessing to be able to enjoy what you have at hand. It is not worth giving up what you have and chasing after what you want.¡± As he was talking, Xu Qin came out of the bathroom, Meng Yanchen withdrew his gaze and took a sip of red wine. The young hostess who poured the wine asked: ¡°Yi ge1, do you still have a want but can¡¯t get it?¡± Xiao Yixiao lost his seriousness again and laughed: ¡°I want you, but I can¡¯t get it.¡± The young hostess couldn¡¯t stand the teasing, she smiled shyly, blushing like wine in a glass. Xiao Yixiao¡¯s phone vibrated and vibrated on the table. Meng Yanchen took a look: ¡°Just go down. Before you said you had things to do?¡± Xiao Yixiao knew that he couldn¡¯t hide it from him: ¡°Several business partners are having dinner next door. I just found out and I wanted to invite them to the club for a drink, but¡­¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°No room?¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°What a fucking coincidence.¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Call them here. It doesn¡¯t matter.¡± Xu Qin sat down and said, ¡°I¡¯m fine too.¡± Xiao Yixiao smiled: ¡°Got it.¡± Five or six guests in neat suits had just taken their seats. The head hostess, A3 Lu, brought twenty wine-accompanying hostesses in, all standing in a row. The girls¡¯ figures are tall, with white shoulders and long legs, blonde Caucasian, Latin beauty with big eyes and curly hair, everything. Those guests who came to KTV4 for the first time could not relax and politely declined. Xiao Yixiao asked, ¡°See anything you like?¡± He waved his hand, and a group of beauties filed out, and another filed in. After several rounds of reciprocation, the Wan Liu girls were picked over and over again. Xiao Yixiao acted simply and directly. The guests did not choose any to accompany them, so the girls were left standing. Either way, he couldn¡¯t be embarrassed either. Xu Qin took a fork and put the fruit in her mouth, watching from the sidelines. Several men had nowhere to go, so one of them called one girl to accompany them. A Lu waved the rest to go out, and tapped Xiao Yixiao¡¯s shoulder: ¡°Yi ge, don¡¯t you want someone to accompany you to chat?¡± Xiao Yixiao pointed at Xu Qin: ¡°How could I dare, my girlfriend is sitting here.¡± Xu Qin, who was being dragged into this matter as a ¡®shield¡¯, pretended like she didn¡¯t hear him. A Lu was only a wine hostess many years ago, but now she is the leader of them. She knew them well and knew that Xiao Yixiao was joking, so she still wrapped her hands around Xiao Yixiao¡¯s neck: ¡°Qin jie2 is still so beautiful, many times more beautiful than our hostesses here.¡± Xiao Yixiao¡¯s face changed slightly: ¡°What are you saying?¡± Xu Qin ignored her, didn¡¯t save the scene, and didn¡¯t even look at her. A Lu realized that something was wrong, and quickly changed her words: ¡°How can we be compared, the temperament is different, you can¡¯t compare¡ª¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°Get out.¡± A Lu got up and left. After a while, she probably wanted to make up for her mistakes. She brought two beauties in and explained that they were new. They were not working, on vacation today, so they were specially called for him. Indeed, they looked more delicate and prettier than the others, and their makeup wasn¡¯t too heavy. Xiao Yixiao looked back at Meng Yanchen, and said generously, ¡°You choose first, and the remaining is mine.¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°I¡¯m not interested.¡± As soon as the voice fell, the girl in the white short skirt thought it was all right, so she turned around and walked out. Xiao Yixiao blinked and shouted, ¡°Where¡¯s your manners? Stand back!¡± The girl turned around, her eyes just met Xu Qin, and Xu Qin¡¯s expression was indifferent. Xiao Yixiao said: ¡°Where do you get your bad temper?¡± A Lu smiled apologetically: ¡°Yes, you are being impolite.¡± The girl didn¡¯t explain, didn¡¯t say a word, didn¡¯t apologize, and was expressionless. At first glance, her cold appearance looked a bit like Xu Qin. Meng Yanchen pointed at her: ¡°Just her.¡± She came and sat between Meng Yanchen and Xu Qin. The previous guests who didn¡¯t want the hostesses were chatting hotly now, but it was Meng Yanchen and Xiao Yixiao, both of them regarded the girl as air. Xiao Yixiao occasionally asked questions, but Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t say a word. The girl in white sat next to Meng Yanchen, drinking red wine by herself, but ended up feeling at ease. Meng Yanchen suddenly asked, ¡°Would you go?¡± The girl in white said, ¡°I don¡¯t leave with clients.¡± Meng Yanchen turned his head, his eyes flashed with restrained surprise. He glanced at Xu Qin, who was eating grapes and didn¡¯t listen to him. The girl in white seemed to understand something, she sipped her red wine and said nothing. After a while, she added more red wine to Meng Yanchen¡¯s glass. Meng Yanchen asked, ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°Ye Zi.¡± ¡°Where is your hometown?¡± Ye Zi answered. Meng Yanchen: ¡°Good place.¡± Ye Zi: ¡°Have you been there?¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°On a business trip.¡± Xu Qin took out a tissue, wiped her hands, and got up. Xiao Yixiao: ¡°Where are you going?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I¡¯m on the night shift, I¡¯ll go first.¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Let me take you.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°No need, it¡¯s quicker to take the subway.¡± Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t speak, picked up his keys, got up and went out. Xu Qin glanced at him and followed him out. Xiao Yixiao looked back at the two of them. He didn¡¯t know if it was his delusion, but Meng Yanchen¡¯s words became less and less in recent years. ¡­ Because it was a weekend, there were still vehicles on the streets late at night. Meng Yanchen¡¯s car stopped in front of the red light, he turned his head to look at Xu Qin, Xu Qin looked at the street lights outside the window, her expression was clean and cold. ¡°What are you looking at?¡± she asked, while looking out the window. Meng Yanchen tapped the steering wheel with his fingers: ¡°Today, mother told me something.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal, just to ask you something.¡± Xu Qin waited for a while, and when she saw that he hadn¡¯t continued, she turned to look at him: ¡°Ask what?¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Do you want to get married?¡± Xu Qin looked at him and seemed to be indifferent: ¡°I haven¡¯t thought about it. I also don¡¯t think I don¡¯t want to.¡± Meng Yanchen pondered for a while and asked, ¡°What kind of man do you want to date?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Listen to my mother¡¯s arrangement.¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Just like when you were a child, you had no interest in anything.¡± Xu Qin looked at the night view outside the window without saying a word. When they were about to arrive at the hospital, Meng Yanchen suddenly asked, ¡°Have you spoken to Song Yan?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°No.¡± Meng Yanchen turned to look at her. Xu Qin: ¡°I said something to him, but he just ignored me. ¡ª It¡¯s okay. Between me and him, there¡¯s nothing to talk about.¡± Meng Yanchen looked at Xu Qin¡¯s face very carefully, but didn¡¯t see any superfluous expression on her face. ¡°Qin Qin?¡± ¡°Hm?¡± ¡°What did mother talk to you about before you went abroad that year?¡± ¡°Asked me if I want Song Yan or money.¡± Xu Qin turned to Meng Yanchen and said, ¡°Of course I want money.¡± Meng Yanchen stared at her with complicated eyes for a moment. Xu Qin pointed to the front: ¡°The light is green. Let¡¯s go.¡± ¡­¡­.. Xu Qin assisted Director Gao Liang to complete a cardiopulmonary surgery. The patient was a middle-aged man who suffered a heart attack at night. It was quite difficult to rescue him. When the surgery was over, they noticed two women fighting with each other. It turned out that the one who sent the man in with the heart attack was his lover. Now she bumped into the wife. Looking at this, a lot of nurses came over to mediate the quarrel. Xu Qin calmly bypassed the quarreling crowd and left the corridor. Back at the office, it was rare to spend half an hour without chaos. But often when the shift was about to change, it was the time when there were the most emergencies. Xu Qin had suffered surgical first aid many times when she was about to get off work. In this case, there was no way to prolong the overtime hours indefinitely. It was ten minutes before the shift change. The only person who came to see a doctor was a white-collar worker who was scratched by a stray cat. Xu Qin was taking care of her when there were hurried footsteps and crying outside, followed by a questioning voice: ¡°Arm is hurt. Where should I go to see the doctor?¡± Footsteps approach. Soon, a couple dragged a ten-year-old boy who was howling and rushed into the diagnosis room, shouting, ¡°Doctor, my baby is scalded!¡± Xu Qin raised her eyes and glanced at the minor injury on the child¡¯s arm, and withdrew her gaze: ¡°Go to the outpatient clinic to register.¡± The mother said anxiously, ¡°The child is in so much pain. How long will the outpatient line be? There is no one outside. You are a doctor, so just give my baby a look.¡± The little boy was crying, and there were no other emergency patients outside. Xu Qin said, ¡°Go to the queue outside.¡± The mother was still dissatisfied: ¡°But¡­¡± Xu Qin raised his head: ¡°There is still a patient here.¡± The parents pulled the child to the side and waited, staring at Xu Qin, as if this would put pressure on her and tell her to quickly dismiss the patient at hand. Xu Qin: ¡°Please go out to protect the privacy of this patient. By the way, go register first.¡± The two were reluctant to pull the child back to the door, but they did not leave the diagnosis room. Xu Qin didn¡¯t take them seriously. She wrote a prescription and handed it to the white-collar worker: ¡°After getting the medicine at the pharmacy, go to the injection department for an injection. Also, if you are bitten by a dog in the future, go to the Center for Disease Control, not a general hospital.¡± ¡°Thank you doctor.¡± The white-collar worker left with the prescription. The parents immediately pulled the boy to sit on the chair: ¡°Doctor, look, the child was scalded by boiling water, and his hands were blistered¡ª¡± Before he finished speaking, two men covered in black and gray rushed in: ¡°Doctor!¡± The sleeves of a man¡¯s wrist were scorched, and the fabric and flesh were sticking together, black and red, which was horrible to see. The parents and child thought they were dirty and hid. Xu Qin felt that the two were familiar, but she couldn¡¯t remember where from. When she turned to look for scissors and tweezers, she suddenly remembered that she had seen these two faces in the fire on Wu Fang Street. She glanced at the scalded child at the table, and quickly typed out a prescription for his parents: ¡°Go to the pharmacy to get the medicine and apply it for three days.¡± After finishing speaking, she turned to the nurse, ¡°Where¡¯s Xiao Nan, call her and prepare for surgery.¡± When the father saw this, he couldn¡¯t believe it: ¡°Doctor, you haven¡¯t seen my child yet!¡± Xu Qin turned her head: ¡°Just follow this prescription to get the medicine,¡± she said as she got up to leave. The man got angry and pulled Xu Qin violently. Xu Qin stumbled and almost fell. ¡°Have you checked my boy?! Ah! You didn¡¯t even look at him for ten seconds? How could you just prescribe the medicine randomly? How could you not explain it to us?!¡± Xu Qin: ¡°If you want to chat with the doctor, you should go to the outpatient service.¡± Then she turned her head: ¡°Xiao Bei. Take these people away and prepare the surgery.¡± Xu Qin went outside. That man was holding Xu Qin¡¯s white robe and pulled her back. ¡°Today if you don¡¯t clearly check my son¡¯s condition, I will not let you go!¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Let me go.¡± ¡°So what if I don¡¯t let you go?¡± That man opened up his phone. He positioned his phone towards Xu Qin¡¯s face. ¡°This is the best hospital in the city, yet it has this kind of doctor. I¡¯ll record it and put it on the internet for people to see.¡± When Xu Qin raised her hand, the man¡¯s phone fell to the ground. ¡°Fuck you!¡± The man hit Xu Qin with the palm of his hand. The nurse screamed: ¡°What are you doing?!¡± Xu Qin struggled hard, but she didn¡¯t have enough strength to free herself. She could only helplessly watch as that man¡¯s palm came towards her cheek. Yet the slap never came. An unfamiliar yet familiar tall figure stood in front of Xu Qin. Translator¡¯s notes: 1 g¨¥ ¸ç ¨C older brother 2 ji¨§ ½ã ¨C older sister When the above are used with a name, it is also a way of addressing the said person (who is not blood related) with a form of respect. In Chinese culture, seniors are considered more important so if you¡¯re close, using ge or jie is like an extra level of closeness. So Yi ge is referring to Xiao Yixiao and Qin jie is referring to Xu Qin. 3 ¨¡ °¡ in this context is pronounced as ¡°Ah¡± It is a Chinese prefix used with a shortened form of peoples¡¯ given names to express familiarity ¨C Wiktionary. But unlike Wiktionary, we disagree that is the equivalent of Miss or Mister as we generally do not use that casually in the English language. A Lu is just a casual way of calling a subordinate. 4 KTV (karaoke television) ¨C an establishment for musical entertainment where you can get a private karaoke room equipped with screens, speakers, lighting, comfortable seating, as well as food and drink service CH 6 Song Yan clamped the opponent¡¯s wrist with one hand, but he didn¡¯t use much force, and the opponent couldn¡¯t move. Song Yan sneered: ¡°Beating a woman? Where did you learn this disgusting behavior?¡± ¡°You let me go! Otherwise¡ªI¡ª¡± the man stammered. Song Yan asked back: ¡°Otherwise?¡± The man released Xu Qin and attacked Song Yan with the other hand. Song Yan grabbed his wrist, pushed with both hands, the man was pushed away and he slammed into the wall. The woman pointed at Song Yan and screamed, ¡°Do you beat people in your hospital?¡± Song Yan dismissed it, and when he looked back to see Xu Qin still standing behind him, he quickly pointed to the door with his chin, and said impatiently, ¡°If you¡¯re not going out to save people, are you here just to watch the drama?¡± Xu Qin ran out immediately, only to hear Song Yan¡¯s hoarse voice behind her vulgarly saying: ¡°I¡¯m not from this hospital, my brother is injured. Who the hell dares to make trouble here and delay his treatment, I¡¯ll break their legs.¡± This is the way of the world, bully the weak and fear the strong, and the arrogant must be dealt with even more arrogantly, Xu Qin thought. ¡­¡­ The injured firefighter was named Tong Ming, and the one who accompanied him was named Xiao Ge. Xu Qin cut Tong Ming¡¯s sleeves to do basic cleaning for him. Tong Ming was in a cold sweat from so much pain, the black ashes on his face rushed down like water out of the gullies. Xu Qin said: ¡°Endure it a bit, I¡¯ll give you anesthesia soon.¡± She raised her head and signaled to the nurse, Xiao Nan, who came over to wipe the dirt off Tong Ming¡¯s face. Instead, the big man got embarrassed and twitched. Xiao Nan was anxious: ¡°Why do you keep dodging?¡± Tong Ming raised his other hand: ¡°I¡¯ll do it, I¡¯ll do it myself.¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°Your hands are all swollen and dirty.¡± As she spoke, she held his hand and wiped his face. After wiping off that layer of black ash, the young man¡¯s face was flushed red with a few dry cracks. Xiao Nan saw that it was roasted by the fire, and felt sympathy in her heart. She stopped talking, and only lowered her head and wiped his palms. Xu Qin simply cleaned the burn wound on his arm, gave him a shot of anesthesia, and asked coldly, ¡°Was there no ambulance at the scene?¡± Tong Ming replied stupidly: ¡°I don¡¯t know, I was brought here by Xiao Ge.¡± Xiao Ge helped to explain: ¡°There were. But it¡¯s not enough. They took a few injured people and left.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°Were there no ambulance left at the scene?¡± Xiao Ge didn¡¯t answer for a while. Xu Qin said, ¡°Go and complain.¡± Xiao Ge was stunned for a moment, Tong Ming was stunned for a while, Xiao Nan and Xiao Bei were stunned too, and internally shouted: Dr. Xu, that is our hospital! Tong Ming smiled awkwardly and waved his hand: ¡°An issue between like-minded humans, all part of one big family, there is nothing to complain about. Hehe.¡± Xu Qin looked up at him. Tong Ming thought she didn¡¯t understand, so he pointed at Xu Qin and then at himself: ¡°Doctors, firefighters, don¡¯t we all serve the people. We are family, a family. We don¡¯t have it easy.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head to continue to work and stopped talking. After the surgery, Xu Qin prescribed medicine and injections, and Xiao Nan led Tong Ming to the injection room for anti-inflammatory injections. Only then did Xu Qin think of Song Yan, she quickly returned to the consultation room, but he was gone. Dr. Li, from the next shift, was treating a patient. Xu Qin returned to the hall, looked around inadvertently, not knowing what she was looking for. She suddenly caught a glimpse of a tall man walking out of the injection room and heading straight for the door. Xu Qin chased after him, bypassing the silhouette of the hall. The man walked extremely fast, and the tall and straight figure went farther and farther. Xu Qin walked through the crowd, walked out of the door, and ran down the steps quickly: ¡°Song Yan!¡± The man stopped. At that time, it was the most tender and beautiful time of the day, the morning sun shone on his broad shoulders, and a thin layer of light shone in his black hair. It was early morning. Xu Qin calmed down her turbulent breathing from running, and dropped her hands into the pockets of her white coat. She stepped forward: ¡°Song Yan.¡± Song Yan turned around and looked at her with a blank expression on his face. The two stood in the morning sunlight, looking at each other, with people coming and going. Song Yan: ¡°Is something wrong?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Long time no see.¡± Song Yan squinted and seemed to recall seriously, and said, ¡°It¡¯s been a long time.¡± Xu Qin asked, ¡°How are you doing?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Very good. How about you?¡± Xu Qin looked into his eyes and replied softly, ¡°Not good.¡± Song Yan¡¯s smile froze, he observed her face critically, and after half a second, he curled his lips very lightly, as if he had seen through her trick of begging for sympathy. He said, ¡°Oh. Anything else?¡± He obviously didn¡¯t care, and was not in the mood to have a roundabout with her. Xu Qin was not embarrassed, as calm as usual, and said, ¡°Thank you for what happened just now.¡± Song Yan said politely, ¡°I¡¯m here for my brother.¡± Xu Qin nodded and said politely, ¡°And the last time¡­¡± ¡°Xu Qin.¡± Song Yan interrupted, staring at her with black eyes, seeing through her twists and turns and dawdling, ¡°What are you trying to say?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°If you have time for a cup of coffee.¡± Song Yan stared at her for a long time, then smiled strangely again, the ridicule in it was undisguised. Xu Qin felt that her face should be on fire at this moment, but she didn¡¯t feel a trace of shame, so she still said: ¡°Is it okay?¡± ¡°I¡¯m quite busy.¡± Song Yan leaned slightly, narrowed the distance with her, raised her chin slightly, and said, ¡°Queue up.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s face remained unmoved. Song Yan stood up straight: ¡°I¡¯ll call you when the number arrives.¡± He walked away. He left delightedly, and didn¡¯t look back. Xu Qin stood where she was, squinting to see his back disappear at the gate, turned around and entered the hospital. Entering the door she bumped into a colleague from the 1201 Center, Xu Qin asked, ¡°Did you prepare the buses for the fire department just now?¡± ¡°Yes, I prepared four buses.¡± The colleague replied. ¡°Were there a lot of injured people? Why did the injured firefighters have no medical staff to treat them, and there was no bus left on the scene?¡± ¡°Ay, don¡¯t mention it. Originally, there were buses left at the scene, and a few civilians who were slightly injured would have been treated fine, but then they said they couldn¡¯t breathe, and demanded they undergo a full-body examination, and clamored to come to the hospital. We couldn¡¯t do anything about it.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t ask any more questions, went to change her clothes and get off work. ¡­ When Xu Qin woke up, she still had more than three hours to go to work. She ordered a takeaway and sat on the balcony when she saw Wu Fang Street, a short and flat block in the center of the high-rise building. A red wall and white tile room, the one that burned not long ago was still black. Xu Qin didn¡¯t know what she was thinking. When she came back to her senses, she came to the intersection. Walking into Wu Fang Street, you will instantly fall from a bustling city to a lively town, with bluestone alleys, brick and tile dwellings, and the chimes in the attic tingling. She passed the tailor¡¯s shop, heard the sewing machine squeak and sprint, heard the cloth torn and the needles and threads torn; she passed the spice shop, where the proprietress and the men stood in a row at the door, shaking the star anise with a sieve, sifting the spices, she heard the spices rushing through the bamboo sieve like a neat army of thousands of horses, swoosh¡ªswoosh¡ªshe passed the barber shop, and the razor in the hand of the barber squeaked and scalded the boiling water. She heard the screeching sound of metal crashing; she passed a small restaurant, a chef with a shiny face was swinging a wok, she heard the spatula flip, the ladle clacked; she passed the pork shop, she heard the boss sharpen his knives; she passed the vegetable store, she heard vegetables selling, the girl sprinkled water; she passed the rice shop, the snack shop¡­ She heard adults bargaining, gossiping among the neighbors, and children chattering. The air was filled with the scent of fabrics, spices, shampoo, food, and a tree of orange leaves, swaying from the tall treetops into the alley. Xu Qin walked through the busy street, and unexpectedly discovered that after so many years, the world outside Wu Fang Street has changed with each passing day, but everything in here was exactly the same as before ¨C the proprietress of the spice shop still has the tear shaped mole by her mouth; the one in the tailor shop, the tailor still liked to wear a tunic; the barber¡¯s master still had a crewcut¡­ She also successfully found the way to Song Yan¡¯s house, which was as familiar as returning home, as if the instinct was engraved in her bones. Song Yan was brought up by his maternal uncle and aunt since he was a child, and his home was a courtyard in a deep alley on Wu Fang Street. A plaque with ¡°Di Ji¡± hung on the door of the house. The wooden door was wide open, bypassing the shadow wall, and all kinds of woodworks were neatly stacked in the veranda and courtyard. Song Yan¡¯s uncle, the third child of the Di family, was a carpenter. He was famous for his fine craftsmanship. From dressing boxes to wardrobes, he could produce flowers with his hands. Xu Qin had stood in the wide courtyard when she was young, and suddenly realized that the courtyard in her memory was not as narrow as it was at the moment. Red walls and ochre tiles, the vicissitudes of time. A blue sky above their head. In the courtyard, there was a small TV program playing. The loquat trees on both sides of the main house were now covered with pavilions. And the wisteria she planted back then covered the west wing, hanging like a curtain. There was Song Yan¡¯s room. Nothing seemed to have changed. Xu Qin gently stroked the wood at hand. She remembered that here, Uncle Di taught her carpentry. Pushing the planer tool on the long wood, pieces of wood flowers rolled and flew out. She giggled happily. She said, ¡°Song Yan, I like your family so much.¡± The young Song Yan squatted on the stake with a cigarette between his fingers, habitually tilted his head and looked at her, smiling: ¡°It¡¯s useless to talk about it, do you dare to enter my residence certificate2?¡± Xu Qin stopped everything, stopped laughing, and looked at him without blinking for a moment. He approached her: ¡°I promise, I will give you a headache for the rest of this life.¡± Uncle came over and slapped Song Yan on the back of the head: ¡°You¡¯re smoking at home again, and if you set the house on fire, your aunt won¡¯t let you live!¡± Footsteps came from the real world, pulling Xu Qin back to reality. Di Laosan saw a figure in the courtyard and walked out of the main room: ¡°Do you want to do some carpentry?¡± Xu Qin turned her head. Uncle was old. That is, at that moment, the yard that was stagnant in time suddenly changed, and something clearly faded in time. She finally saw clearly that the ochre on the walls was lightly tanned by the years of sunlight, and the gilded tiles on the roof were mottled by the rain. The smile on Di Laosan¡¯s face solidified for a moment, distorted, suppressed, and calmed down. Xu Qin took a breath: ¡°Uncle.¡± ¡°Oh, Miss Meng.¡± Di Laosan regained his politeness, ¡°Is there something wrong with this sudden visit?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I¡¯m looking for Song Yan¡­¡± Before she finished speaking, cousin Di Miao jumped out of the room: ¡°You cruel woman, you have the face to come see my brother? It wasn¡¯t enough that you almost killed him back then, you¡­¡± Aunt came out and pushed Di Miao into the house. Xu Qin didn¡¯t hear Di Miao¡¯s words very much, and took a step forward: ¡°She said just now¡­¡± Aunt interrupted: ¡°He doesn¡¯t live here.¡± Xu Qin subconsciously glanced at the room on the west side, the door was locked and the wooden window was closed. The red paint on the walls had faded, and the pieces were gray, except for the wisteria on the eaves. ¡°Where does he live now?¡± Xu Qin asked, ¡°Is it convenient to tell me?¡± ¡°Convenient.¡± Aunt smiled and said, ¡°He is now a firefighter, army management, and lives in the camp. ¨C That means, he can¡¯t get out.¡± I can¡¯t see him anymore. It¡¯s not as easy as it used to be, to find him, he¡¯d be here. 1 110 ¨C emergency number for police 119 ¨C emergency number for firefighters 120 ¨C emergency number for ambulance service These are the emergency numbers in China. 2 ¾Óס֤ j¨± zh¨´ zh¨¨ng ¨C residence permit. When one gets married, the wife will normally be entered into the husband¡¯s hu kou. CH 7 Xu Qin had a calm week, working and living as usual. During public holidays, the outpatient clinic took their time off in rotations, while the emergency department went to work as per normal. As soon as it was a holiday, there were drunks, those sick from overindulging in food and drink, as well as those with unexpected accidents brought in by 110, the entire emergency department was busy nonstop. Late at night, another drunken male-female pair was sent in. When Xu Qin entered the observation room, the two were lying on beds next to each other and talking. Xu Qin asked the nurse to measure their blood pressure. The boy was talking to the girl when he saw Xu Qin and laughed mischievously: ¡°Angel jiejie, you¡¯re so pretty.¡± The girl pointed at the boy and laughed: ¡°You idiot, you¡¯re drunk, I¡¯m the angel, I¡¯m over here!¡± The boy was not convinced: ¡°You¡¯re the one that¡¯s fucking drunk, I don¡¯t get drunk even after a thousand cups.¡± Girl: ¡°Shut up! Do you believe I¡¯ll turn you into stone with a kiss?¡± The boy lifted the blankets to get out of bed: ¡°Come on, kiss, whoever doesn¡¯t kiss is the grandchild!¡± The nurses exerted a lot of effort to push the two people back to bed. Xu Qin glanced at the two of them and instructed the nurse: ¡°Routine monitoring and infusion will do.¡± After closing the diagnostic book, she put away her pen and left the observation room. Xiao Nan followed closely. Xu Qin: ¡°These two know each other?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°They don¡¯t know each other, they were sent here from two different directions.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°They act unexpectedly familiar.¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°These two aren¡¯t that bad. Yesterday, some of them hugged together and rolled around, the bed got covered in urine.¡± Xu Qin said lightly: ¡°The country shouldn¡¯t give holidays, humans are like animals, they don¡¯t know how to control themselves once they¡¯ve broken away from their restraints.¡± Xiao Nan quietly reminded: ¡°Doctor Xu, then we will also have no vacation, and then we will die of exhaustion.¡± Xu Qin thought for a while: ¡°¡­¡­Oh¡­¡­¡± Barely a few hours later, Xiao Nan once again profoundly experienced what it meant to not understand restraint. It was two o¡¯clock in the morning, Xu Qin and several other surgeons, as well as several nurses, stood under the bright white lights of the consultation room looking in the same direction, everyone was frowning. A male patient was lying on the examination table, his face was red, his legs were curled up, and a short steel tube with a narrow inner diameter was wrapped around his genitals. From the preliminary consultation, it was learned that due to physiological sexual impulse, the patient inserted his genitals into the short tube to seek stimulation, but got stuck inside and could not get out. The genitals could not be softened due to the blood pressure and congestion, remaining firm for a few hours. It had been so painful that he was on the verge of collapsing. The patient was desperate, and kept crying: ¡°You have to save me doctor, I don¡¯t have kids yet, I¡¯m the only heir in nine generations, these family jewels can¡¯t be wasted.¡± ¡°Only heir in nine generations, won¡¯t you take it easy?¡± After Xu Qin and the others discussed it, they tried to give him a few injections, but that thing would not soften, and it was impossible to try to pull out the tube. The patient would cry out in pain if that region was moved even a little bit. When they were all out of ideas, Xu Qin said: ¡°Let¡¯s call the firemen over.¡± Seeing everyone¡¯s puzzled expressions, she added, ¡°They have specialized tools. Like if a child¡¯s hand got stuck inside a toy, or an adult¡¯s leg got stuck in a revolving door, or a finger got jammed inside a small ring, the firefighters can get it out. They can also catch snakes and wild animals or other things.¡± Everyone had wide-eyed expressions. The patient was still in the mood to interject and laughed: ¡°Damn, what kind of idiot would get his leg stuck in a revolving door?¡± Xu Qin slowly glanced at him. Xiao Nan went to call 119. Dr. Li sighed: ¡°I didn¡¯t know firefighters could do these things.¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°Firefighters are prodigies filled with knowledge¡­¡­¡± Seeing everyone¡¯s expression, she changed her statement, ¡°¡­¡­ an occupation that broadens our horizons.¡± Not long after, a car came. At her office window, Xu Qin saw a group of men get out of the car. This time, they were wearing orange uniforms, not the calm inky blue one they had on when they were fighting the fire. This orange was especially bright in the dimness of the night. She couldn¡¯t pick out which one was Song Yan, perhaps the uniform was too standardized. When the firefighters came into the consultation room, there was no Song Yan amongst the unfamiliar faces. After Xu Qin explained the situation, she asked one extra question: ¡°Which fire brigade do you all belong to?¡± ¡°Shi Li Tai.¡± They belonged to Song Yan¡¯s team. Seems like it was a different shift. That¡¯s true, who could endure a 24-hour service on their own. Xu Qin stepped aside quietly and looked at the ambulance outside the window. He wouldn¡¯t be there either. Needle-nose pliers, cutting pliers, electric sander¡­it took the firefighters an hour and a half to finally remove the short steel pipe from the man, who was handed over to the doctors for further treatment. By the time the incident was over and the patient wanted to thank the firefighters, the team had long since withdrawn. It was already bright outside. ¡­¡­ At base camp, Song Yan was leading the officers through a training class. As the old saying goes, the mastery of study lies in diligence, no matter how good your skills are, you¡¯ll be out of practice if you don¡¯t train for eight or ten days. In the event of a fire, the smallest mistakes could be fatal. The training schedule set by the fire squadron itself was already very strict, including physical training, skill training, knowledge and psychological training, to name a few. Plus Song Yan was an extremely strict captain, normally he would be laughing and joking around, but did not allow anyone to be absent-minded, lazy or resort to shortcuts in class. The team members had long been accustomed to his team-leading mode, they knew to cherish their own lives, and each one was earnest in training hard. Time and time again at detachment competitions, the firefighters from Shi Li Tai Squadron were always first in every discipline. Today¡¯s practice was climbing external walls and rapid descents. The team members were divided into groups of two and assembled at the bottom of the training wall. One person had to climb up with his bare hands onto the roof, with the help of drainage pipes, air conditioning boxes, and weatherboards. Once they tied the safety rope and threw it down the wall, the other person would grab onto it and quickly ascend the roof as well. The two had to tie a dummy weighing 50kg to their bodies and then quickly descend down to ground level. In this way, going back and forth ten times counted as one set. After one set, they rested for ten minutes before moving onto the next set. Song Yan and Yang Chi were partners training together. Yang Chi climbed up the roof first and threw the rope down. Song Yan pulled the rope, stepped against the wall, and ascended up to the roof in less than ten seconds. Just as he climbed over the railing, Yang Chi said: ¡°Yan ge, I heard from Xiao Fei that they were dispatched to the Third Military Hospital this morning.¡± I¡¯m afraid everyone in the surrounding squadrons will know about the incident with the weird citizen¡¯s genitals being caught in the steel pipe, let alone our whole team. After all, they are all curious young boys who can¡¯t keep their mouths shut. ¡°So?¡± Song Yan quickly picked up the dummy and tied it to his waist. After the third set of practice, Song Yan was covered in sweat, his t-shirt was soaked and stuck to his body. Yang Chi also wiped the sweat on his face and carried the dummy: ¡°They also said that they met a cold and beautiful doctor. Everyone said that the next time they get injured, they will go to see her.¡± ¡°How about I give you an injury right now?¡± Song Yan glanced at him, smiling insincerely. ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± Yang Chi laughed. Song Yan got up and returned to the railing, grabbed the rope, and hopped over to the outside of the wall. Yang Chi followed, stepping on the wall face: ¡°Ge, do you know that doctor? I felt something was off last time when I saw¡­¡­¡± Song Yan pursed his lips and ran his tongue over his teeth, his expression dangerous. ¡°Is she your ex-girl¡­¡­¡± Song Yan kicked his hand. Yang Chi let out a cry, slipped half a meter down and grabbed the rope again, swinging back and forth along the wall like a cloth sack. ¡°I was wrong!¡± Song Yan kicked him again, and Yang Chi howled: ¡°I was wrong, I was wrong!¡± Song Yan sucked his cheeks in tightly, lowered his head, and kicked again. Yang Chi finally fell down and landed on the mat with a thud. Song Yan glanced at him, grabbed the rope, pushed off the wall two or three times and rapidly descended. ¡­¡­ In the blink of an eye it was already a third of the way through August, the hot weather had passed, and summer vacation was almost over. In the hospital, various cases such as people who were drunk, who were so irritated by the heat they got into scuffles with each other, those who ate spicy and drank alcohol to the point of stomach bleeding ¨C¨C the number of such patients was beginning to decline. Xu Qin kept to her routine of working, going home, seeing her parents, and seeing her friends. During that period of time, she went out to drink tea with Fu Wenying. Across the table sat a wife as elegant as Fu Wenying, and a handsome boy of the same age as Xu Qin. Xu Qin behaved like the ideal perfect daughter in Fu Wenying¡¯s heart, beautiful, fresh, gentle and polite. In Fu Wenying¡¯s world, the rules were very simple. Love and affection, heart and character could all be overflowing, however marriage was only possible with strong connections and well-matched social status between the families, they must not cross over between different social classes, absolutely not. Meng Yanchen had to be this way, Xiao Yixiao also had to be this way, everyone they had met since childhood had to be this way. Xu Qin also calmly accepted her parents¡¯ ideologies. She had enjoyed too much convenience and freedom brought by wealth and privilege since she was a child. She was immersed in this privileged environment and could not be separated from it. The boy she met that day didn¡¯t express any obvious interest in her on the spot, but sent Xu Qin a text message two days later asking to meet. Just as she sat down to reply, her department called her away to an impromptu meeting. There was little contact after that. It was likely that the other party¡¯s qualifications were very good, and had a lot of options. Xu Qin didn¡¯t worry about this at all, and forgot about it in the blink of an eye. On the contrary, it was the fire hydrant in the corridor she saw everyday on her way to the hospital and on her way home from work that would inevitably interrupt her thoughts for a moment. But she has always been calm and collected, unbothered. One day, when she was about to get off work, she received a call from Xiao Yixiao asking her to go out. It was the first anniversary of the opening of his bar ¡°Charm¡±. Xu Qin arrived before Meng Yanchen, and when she found Xiao Yixiao, he was sitting in a booth talking and laughing with a man. When he saw Xu Qin coming over, he raised his hand to say hello. When the man turned his head, as luck would have it, it was someone Xu Qin had dated ¨C¨C Jiang Yu. Jiang Yu was a little surprised when he saw Xu Qin. The second their eyes met, the two were able to reach a silent agreement to avoid mentioning their previous history. Xiao Yixiao didn¡¯t know that the two had such a relationship, and he introduced enthusiastically: ¡°This is my sister, Meng Qin; this is my buddy, Jiang Yu.¡± Jiang Yu asked politely and knowingly: ¡°What kind of work do you do?¡± Xu Qin glanced at him: ¡°Doctor.¡± ¡°Doctors must be very busy right? Coming here to play, won¡¯t you be suddenly called away?¡± These words were a bit meaningful. Xu Qin glanced at him again. The latter smiled politely. Xiao Yixiao interjected: ¡°That¡¯s what I said before, being a doctor is too tiring. It would be more relaxing for her to go work at a medical school, but she wouldn¡¯t listen.¡± Xu Qin unscrewed a bottle of mineral water and said: ¡°I don¡¯t want to do anything else except hold a scalpel.¡± As she said that, just as she was about to pour the water into the wine glass, she narrowed her eyes and saw a small water stain at the bottom. Xu Qin called the waiter over: ¡°Could you please change the glass?¡± Jiang Yu didn¡¯t understand why, Xiao Yixiao stopped him and had to ask clearly: ¡°Wait, what¡¯s wrong with this glass?¡± Xu Qin pointed it out to him, Xiao Yixiao took a long time to see it clearly, and sighed: ¡°I can¡¯t stand your obsession with cleanliness. Are your eyes a microscope or something? How come everything placed in front of you becomes dirty?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t pay attention. She checked the replacement glass. Still unsatisfied with the level of cleanliness, she asked the waiter for a straw, took the straw, and wiped it with a tissue before inserting it into the bottle to drink. Jiang Yu was in disbelief after watching her actions, but after half a second, he lowered his head and smiled. Xiao Yixiao: ¡°I heard from my mother, your mother arranged a blind date for you?¡± Jiang Yu picked up his glass and drank. Xu Qin: ¡°En.¡± Xiao Yixiao asked: ¡°Was he to your liking?¡± Jiang Yu slowly fiddled with the wine glass in his hand. Xu Qin: ¡°I¡¯ve only met him once, I don¡¯t have much of an impression.¡± Jiang Yu looked at her, and immediately looked away. Meng Yanchen came over and patted Xu Qin on the shoulder, she automatically moved to the side, creating a spot for him. Jiang Yu looked at Xu Qin, then looked at Meng Yanchen, and finally smiled and greeted Meng Yanchen. Turns out they both knew each other. They were already acquaintances, but Xu Qin wasn¡¯t aware of this. The three men were chatting about business affairs, Xu Qin bit the straw to drink her water, wasn¡¯t in the mood to listen in, and unconsciously her mind drifted away. Until at a certain moment, Xiao Yixiao answered his phone and said something about ¡°surprise firefighter inspection¡±. With the word ¡°firefighter¡±, Xu Qin suddenly returned to her senses, realized that her surroundings were very noisy, and the singing of the resident performer could be heard not far away: ¡°The returning wild geese, with the sea behind their backs, headed out all the way to the north, crossing the clouds¡ª¡ª¡± Xu Qin looked up: ¡°This song is not bad.¡± Xiao Yixiao had already walked away. She put down the cup and got up: ¡°I¡¯ll go over there and have a look.¡± Meng Yanchen and Jiang Yu stayed where they were drinking and did not get in on the action. Xu Qin saw Xiao Yixiao quickly running out of the lounge area, across the dance floor outside, and disappeared. She followed closely, the dance floor was full of people, and the crowd swayed along with the music. The long-haired lead singer on stage held a guitar, his magnetic voice was like a bowstring: ¡°My love, wait for me in the grassland, wait quietly, the sun shines through the darkness.¡± For a split second without warning, a silhouette flashed in the gaps between the crowd, Xu Qin saw a firefighter on the other side of the dance floor, wearing a pine green uniform. A firefighter, two firefighters, walked through the hallway. Without even thinking, Xu Qin rushed into the dancing crowd and the swirling lights, running in their direction. The crowd swayed and danced with the song: ¡°The arrow of time, igniting to piercing the sky, circling around with hope, but was unable to catch up.¡± Xu Qin pushed aside the heavy crowd, walked to the other side, and ducked into the corridor. The bar manager was accompanying the firefighters to conduct the surprise inspection. A firefighter rushed from behind Xu Qin and ran towards a tall figure: ¡°Captain!¡± Xu Qin couldn¡¯t hear the voice behind her, it was too noisy in the bar, and the singer shouted unbridled: ¡°The place where the heart wants to be, the homeland that you yearn for, the place where your dreams are buried, where flowers bloom into an ocean!!!¡± Xu Qin stood in place, her heartbeat was agitated by the ear-splitting singing, she saw that they were about to leave. She finally strode up and yanked the hem of his clothes. He stood still for a second and turned back slowly. ¡­¡­ ¡°Is something wrong?¡± The other party looked puzzled. She was mistaken, his face didn¡¯t even resemble Song Yan at all. Xu Qin let go with her hand and said: ¡°I thought you were someone else.¡± Her heart unusually calm, she went back in the direction she came from, passing through the restless crowd and lonely shadows. On the dance floor, someone jumped and bumped into her. Xu Qin regained her senses once again, and heard the singer shouting in a heart-wrenching voice: ¡°Return to his side!!!¨C¨C ¡° As soon as the roar was over, the music stopped suddenly, and the world suddenly fell into a brief silence. It was in this second of silence that Xu Qin clearly heard the voice in her heart. She wanted to go find Song Yan. CH 8 Xu Qin¡¯s car went all the way south on the West Third Ring Road, without traffic jam or red lights. She soon arrived outside the Shi Li Tai Fire Squadron camp. It was late at night. The street lights illuminated the yellow leaves, and the streets were empty. Xu Qin looked inside through the fence, and the moonlight filled the huge field and dormitory building. She looked up at the fence that was two or three meters high, and was about to step on it when a police dog barked from the other side of the field. ¡°Woof!¡± A big black dog rushed from the field: ¡°Woof! Woof!¡± Xu Qin was quite frightened, turned her head and ran away. The dog refused to give up, sprinted for 100 meters, locked on Xu Qin, and barked at her through the fence: ¡°Woof! Woof!¡± The screams were fierce and resounded throughout the street. Xu Qin ran to the gate in one breath, the sentry standing on guard was upright, and his eyes turned to look at her vigilantly. A man in the distance exhorted: ¡°Xiao Meng!¡± The barking stopped abruptly. Xu Qin straightened her hair and clothes, and glanced in that direction, a huge german shepherd was standing not far away, with two pointed ears standing straight. Its bright eyes stared at Xu Qin, and after a while, it turned and ran to the man in the distance. Xu Qin asked the sentinel, ¡°Hello, I¡¯m looking for Song Yan.¡± The sentinel glanced at the warning sign at the door, Xu Qin followed his gaze and saw that ¡°no visitors¡± was written on it. The man who called the dog walked towards her. The figure was tall and vague. Xu Qin stared at him, and soon felt relieved. He walked from the shade of the tree to the moonlight, and she saw clearly that it was Instructor Suo Jun. Seeing that there was something going on here, Suo Jun came to ask, and finally recognized Xu Qin: ¡°Did you¡­¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Hello, I¡¯m looking for Song Yan.¡± Suo Jun: ¡°He has been sent to training.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­Oh.¡± Suo Jun: ¡°What¡¯s your business with him?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Nothing, just passed by. Thank you, goodbye.¡± ¡°Eh¡ª¡± Suo Jun had wanted to say something, Xu Qin had turned around in a hurry, walked across the street at a very fast pace, and drove away. The dry wind poured in from the car window, and the road ahead was dark and hard. The whole city was gray, and the tall buildings looked like withered plants, tired and listless. It would be good if there was a rainstorm, Xu Qin lit a cigarette and thought, the next rainstorm that drowned the city would be good. She was about to suffocate, almost suffocating. ¡­¡­ The next day, the sun was shining brightly and the temperature soared. Dozens of fire fighters underwent physical fitness assessments on the training field under the scorching sun. The team lined up, Song Yan whistled, and the one at the front rushed out of the starting line, ran, hurdles, crawls, hurdles, push-ups, and sit-ups. Song Yan wore a camouflage uniform, standing tall with long legs, standing aside with a stopwatch and a scoreboard, glanced at the advancing members, glanced at the stopwatch, and recorded the time consumed for each task. The team members at the back looked around from time to time, comparing inwardly. One person finished, Song Yan whistled, and the next person set off. An hour later, all the team members had completed the assessment and re-queued. Song Yan glanced at the score sheet: ¡°Stand at attention!¡± The officers stood up straight. ¡°Take a break.¡± Take a short rest. ¡°Reporting the results, Jiang Yi, sprint 11 seconds 3, hurdles 17 seconds 8,¡­¡± Song Yan looked up at his teammates, but saw Suo Jun walking across the training field, ¡°¡­ The total score is 2 minutes 24 seconds, which is better than last week by 15 seconds. ¡ª Applause.¡± The soldiers neatly clapped their hands three times. Suo Jun stood under a tree next to him, the military dog ??Xiao Meng squatted beside him, one person and one dog waited for Song Yan. Song Yan finished the notification one by one, put away the scoreboard behind him, and said briefly: ¡°Everyone¡¯s performance has improved, continue to maintain. Rest for ten minutes,¡± glanced at his watch, ¡°We will gather at 10:30, physical training. Stand at attention!¡± ¡°Yes.¡± The team members stood at attention and saluted. ¡°Dismissed.¡± Song Yan turned to leave, walked towards Suo Jun, and snapped his fingers at Xiao Meng: ¡°Dismissed!¡± A moment ago, Xiao Meng, who had a serious expression and squatted upright, immediately opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and rushed towards Song Yan, his front paws on his chest, and he kept wagging his tail. Song Yan rubbed its head and laughed: ¡°Shit, I haven¡¯t seen you for a few days, missed me this much.¡± Suo Jun: ¡°You have spoiled this dog. It can¡¯t eat without you, and has a bad temper. It will bark when it sees people. You two have a deep relationship.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Nonsense, I raised it.¡± Suo Jun said: ¡°Yes, this dog is very emotional, follows the master.¡± Song Yan is scratching the dog¡¯s neck, raising his eyebrows to look at him: ¡°Why do I have a feeling you have something to say?¡± Suo Jun snorted: ¡°I said you are very emotional. Oh yes, there was a woman who came looking for you two nights ago, it seems that she was the doctor.¡± Song Yan bent down and rubbed the dog¡¯s head, looking unconcerned. ¡°I was going to have her leave her contact information, but she ran away.¡± Song Yan raised his head: ¡°It¡¯s not an important person.¡± ¡­¡­¡­. It rained for three days in a row, getting better and better. Xu Qin liked all the bad weather, and looked at the peaceful things being torn apart with ugly scars. But her colleagues at the hospital apparently didn¡¯t think so. Every time bad weather is encountered, the number of emergency patients will increase exponentially. Halls, consultation rooms, injection rooms, and observation rooms were full of people. Xu Qin and her group received seven traffic accident victims of different ages in the past three days. One of them, a boy in his early twenties, stopped breathing on the way, and was dead on arrival at the hospital. The parents of the deceased dragged the doctor to cry, screaming and begging the doctor to save their son. Although doctors and nurses see a lot of life and death, they are not used to it. When Xiao Nan washed her hands in the cleaning room, she couldn¡¯t help but wipe her tears. Xu Qin asked, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°The boy who died just now was so young. His parents are so pitiful.¡± ¡°Well.¡± Xu Qin finished washing her hands, dried them with a tissue, and said, ¡°I¡¯m off work. See you tomorrow.¡± Xiao Nan stared blankly as Xu Qin put her hands in her pocket and left, just as Xiao Bei walked in: ¡°What are you looking at?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°I find that Dr. Xu never seems to have any mood swings.¡± Xiao Bei put hand soap on her hand: ¡°You just found out today, everyone in the hospital knows that. I have never seen her laugh or cry. When she encounters poor patients, she doesn¡¯t seem to be sympathetic; she encounters miserable family members, she is not sympathetic; she is not angry even when she encounters harassment. So I think people like her are the most suitable for being a doctor. ¡± Xiao Nan wondered: ¡°Why do you say that?¡± Xiao Bei shrugged: ¡°Keep a distance from the patient, and treat medicine rationally as a profession and academia without emotion.¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°But I heard from Dr. Zhu Xian from the burn unit that Professor Xu has opinions on Dr. Xu and does not agree with Dr. Xu¡¯s promotion to be the attending physician.¡± ¡°Eh? Why? Although Dr. Xu is not enthusiastic, she is reliable and easy to work with. Other doctors have to deal with interpersonal relationships, which is so troublesome.¡± ¡°They seem to think that Dr. Xu has no benevolence. I heard from Dr. Yang Sijia that she and Dr. Xu were interviewed in the same batch. There were several directors of surgery. Director Xu Ken asked, if a critically ill patient applies for transfer to your hospital for surgery, what will you do? Judging that the success rate is not high, will you take the patient to your hospital for treatment? Yang Sijia said that she will, saying that our hospital has superb medical skills and has rescued many patients that other hospitals cannot. She hopes to become such a rejuvenating doctor one day. ¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°What about Dr. Xu, how did she answer?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°Dr. Xu said she would not save him.¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°Didn¡¯t say why?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°She said, I don¡¯t want to ruin my career.¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°Fuck, so direct?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°No. Director Xu put a cross on the form at the time, but I didn¡¯t expect her to come in anyway, and she was assigned to the most skilled burn unit in the surgical department of our hospital, which happens to be the department that Director Xu manages.¡± Xiao Bei was worried: ¡°Then can Dr. Xu be promoted this time?¡± ¡­¡­¡­.. When Xu Qin returned home at noon, she found that the window was not closed, and the rainwater had come in, making the solid wood floor dirty. She looked around, but she didn¡¯t have a mop or a rag at home. There was no way to make a cleaning service appointment now. She couldn¡¯t stand the mess, so she looked around, pulled out a new sweater from the closet, and wiped the water off the floor. It has been raining these days and the temperature has plummeted. After Xu Qin was done with the housework, her nose felt a little stuffy, so she found a knitted coat to put on. She sat on the sofa, lit a cigarette, looked at the big empty room, and unknowingly started daydreaming. The smoke burned to the end without noticing it. After going to Shi Li Tai that night, it has often been like this. But she was used to being calm, so even if she was depressed, she wouldn¡¯t notice it. Sitting for a long time, her stomach grumbled. She remembered that she only ate the cake that Xiao Nan gave her in the morning. She hadn¡¯t eaten yet. She just took out her mobile phone and was about to order takeout. Meng Yanchen¡¯s call came in: ¡°Qin Qin?¡± ¡°Here.¡± ¡°Are you home?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s work schedule was extremely complicated, but Meng Yanchen had a clear grasp of it, never disturbing her during work hours, and always caring about her when she was resting. ¡°I am.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, just wanted to remind you that there is a red warning for heavy rain tonight, don¡¯t go out.¡± Meng Yanchen¡¯s speech has always been flat, and there was not much concern in his tone. ¡°I see.¡± Xu Qin said. ¡°Have you eaten?¡± ¡°Not yet. Ready to order takeout.¡± Meng Yanchen paused for a second and said, ¡°I haven¡¯t eaten yet, let¡¯s go together.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Where to go?¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Where do you want to eat?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Jiang Zhi Chu.¡± Meng Yanchen smiled very lightly at the other end: ¡°You never get tired of eating it.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I¡¯ll head out now.¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°No, it¡¯s raining too much and the road is not safe. I¡¯ll bring the food to you.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°They do take out food?¡± ¡°No.¡± Meng Yanchen said, ¡°Wait for me.¡± While waiting, Xu Qin put away all the ashtrays and cigarette boxes at home, took a shower and washed her hair, changed into clean clothes, and rested on the sofa wrapped in a blanket. Not long after, Meng Yanchen came, carrying a delicate bamboo woven food basket, and brought out white jade porcelain plates layer by layer: stir-fried lotus root strips, stir-fried garlic cloves, fried lotus seeds, steamed sea bass, lotus root pork ribs soup. Xu Qin¡¯s appetite was about the same as usual, a small bowl of rice was followed by a small bowl of soup, no more or less. However, Meng Yanchen had a good appetite, and the dishes were swept away. After eating, he took the dishes to the kitchen to wash, Meng Yanchen asked, ¡°You lived here for so long, haven¡¯t you used the kitchen?¡± ¡°No.¡± Xu Qin glanced back, Meng Yanchen was standing behind the open counter washing dishes, his dark shirt sleeves rolled up on his arms. Meng Yanchen said, ¡°Can I find you a cooking auntie?¡± ¡°No. The hospital has a canteen. It¡¯s also convenient to order takeout.¡± Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t say any more. After washing the dishes, he saw the kettle on the table. The plug was British. Looking around, there was no newly bought kettle. He stared at the plug for a long time, his voice suddenly dropped, and said, ¡°Qin Qin, you can¡¯t take care of yourself like this, what will you do in the future?¡± The room was quiet, except for the sound of raindrops outside the window. Xu Qin hugged herself and curled up in the chair, looking at the glass blurred by the rain, and said, ¡°The words that you have said, have you forgotten about it?¡± ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­ Meng Yanchen went to work, Xu Qin slept at home until 3:30, and was woken up by a phone call from Dong Yuanyi¡¯s attending physician, saying that the burn unit had receive a patient with 90% or more third degree burns. Several professors such as Wang Guodong, Xu Ken, and Gao Liang performed the operation themselves. The opportunity was rare, so she asked her to go and observe it quickly. Xu Qin immediately set off for the hospital. When the car came out of the underground garage of the apartment complex, it was pouring with rain. She rushed to the hospital and entered the observation room next to the operating room. All the surgeons who were not on duty came. Xu Qin found a corner seat and sat down. At that time, Director Wang was performing a tracheotomy on the patient. Xu Qin sat by the glass for more than six hours, not knowing the passage of time. Until the final operation was successful, colleagues returned to their posts one after another. Her next shift was at 8:00 tomorrow morning. She originally wanted to discuss the details of the operation with the professors, the selection, measurement and time period of each infusion and medication, but considering that they had been operating for seven to eight hours in a row, they were exhausted, so she decided to wait until tomorrow and drove back home. The underground parking lot of the hospital was covered in a layer of water, and who knows where it came from. Xu Qin pondered the operation in her mind, and didn¡¯t notice. The car was on the highway, she was still distracted, and she hadn¡¯t noticed that the rain was so heavy that it was scary. During the more than six hours she stayed in the hospital, the outside world was turned upside down, and the city was full of stagnant water. Pedestrians were running on the overpass, dipping in the water that was as deep as their legs, only to hold up their umbrellas, but the wind blew away only the ribs, and the raincoats were also torn by the wind. Vehicles drove slowly in the water, and some stopped motionless in the water. When Xu Qin found that the water level was not right, most of the water was running up to the wheels. She immediately slowed down and prepared to reverse, but as soon as she changed the reverse gear, the car suddenly stopped. After a few hits, the car didn¡¯t ignite, and a car behind her accelerated and slammed into her car¡¯s rear before it could brake. The car slid forward two or three meters, and Xu Qin clearly felt that the car was leaning forward, as if it was on a downward slope. Torrential rain. Through the windshield wiper, Xu Qin barely saw the familiar signs on the road ahead, and suddenly realized that this was a sinking passage under the bridge! She immediately pulled the handbrake, but the rain continued to wash down the bottom of the bridge, pushing the car down the slope. Xu Qin unfastened her seat belt and pressed the window. The button-type window completely failed, and the door could not be opened. She calmly took out her phone from her bag and dialed 110. ¡°Hello, 110¡ª¡± ¡°Hello, I am trapped inside my car that will fall into the water. The sunken passage under the Songmen Bridge, a white BMW.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t panic, please call fire 119 for rescue.¡± When Xu Qin heard the three numbers 119, she stopped responding for a while, and the phone was also cut off at the same time. CH 9 Water seeped into the bottom of the car, dirty and ice-cold, wetting Xu Qin¡¯s shoes. Xu Qin crouched on the seat and dialed 119, repeating what she just said, and added: ¡°The car is sliding towards the bottom of the bridge, and starting to fill with water. It may only take four minutes to flood.¡± ¡°Okay, we have firefighters near your location and they have already been notified. Please keep your phone available and hold on just a bit longer!¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Xu Qin hung up the phone, feeling it was inexplicably difficult to breathe. She lowered her head and hugged her legs, allowing herself to calm down for a second. Water flooded the seats. Xu Qin quickly looked around the car, but couldn¡¯t find anything sharp, and it was useless to call for help. The wind and rain were too loud, no one would be able to hear it. She called a few times but no one answered, she was at a loss. As the car slid underneath the bridge little by little, the street lights gradually shifted, and in an instant, the car disappeared into darkness. The water quickly overflowed past Xu Qin¡¯s waist, and the space inside the car became smaller and smaller. The rain washed down, the rapids surged, and the water level inside and outside the car rose at the same time. The torrential rain clattered against the car roof and windows, as if someone was shaking this confined prison violently. Xu Qin pulled up Meng Yanchen¡¯s number on her phone and was about to make a call when the front of the car swayed downwards, suddenly accelerated, and slipped towards the bottom of the bridge. Xu Qin immediately climbed into the back seat. The body of the car swayed and jolted, seemingly breaking away from the ground and floating in the water. Xu Qin¡¯s heart sank, realizing that this was a sign of rapid sinking. She banged on the car window: ¡°Help!¡± ¡°Help!¡± The sound of wind and rain drowned out everything. In the middle of the night as the torrential rainstorm raged, the entire city was on the verge of being paralyzed. In its countless corners, it seemed that countless people were being forgotten. She was isolated in this big, dark and airtight box. The windows were covered in rain, the world outside was blurry, and it was so dark that she couldn¡¯t see anything clearly. The water inside the car was getting deeper and deeper, submerging most of the windows. Xu Qin repeatedly slammed the glass. Suddenly, a flashlight shone, she cried out for help, and the light got closer and closer. Immediately, a large male palm patted against her car window, which was clearly reflected in the curtain of rain through the glass. With help from the flashlight, Xu Qin saw that his sleeves were orange, it was a firefighter. ¡°Help!¡± Xu Qin slapped his palm through the glass. The other party quickly smashed the car window with the rescue hammer, but the car wheel was already off the ground and could not be stabilized. When the hammer went down, the car suddenly spun in the water and drifted into the depths. Xu Qin rolled from the seat and fell into the water, unable to control her center of gravity for a while. Her feet could not touch the bottom. The car body rotated, she floundered in the water and choked on a few mouthfuls of rainwater. With great difficulty, she struggled to grab the car seat and floated up to the top, sticking her head out of the water. This space contained all the remaining air that was left. She was dizzy and gritted her teeth in pain. The car suddenly stopped and settled in place, as if it had hit an obstacle. Xu Qin took a deep breath. Through the pounding rain on the windshield, she saw a tall orange figure in front. The man stood crouched, grabbing the bumper with his bare hands, blocking the car with his own body, preventing it from sliding forward more. The man stopped for a while as if he was gathering strength, and after a moment, he began to slowly push the car up the slope. The car floated in the water, moving backwards. Soon, the wheels descended back onto the ground. The torrential rain was falling, and the water level was much higher than before. As the car hit the ground, it suddenly got stuck. Xu Qin was stuck in the car, her soaked body trembling in the water. She was afraid, and the fear stemmed from uncertainty, she wasn¡¯t sure if the fireman could still push. He seemed to stop for a second, and the next moment, the car miraculously backed up the slope. However, the water level in the car was still not decreasing. The man pushed the car up inch by inch, Xu Qin¡¯s heart was hanging with his every step, slowly falling. Suddenly from behind, another car was washed over by the rain and slammed into Xu Qin¡¯s car. With a bang, both car and person quickly slid down the slope together! Water poured into the car and suddenly filled Xu Qin¡¯s nose and mouth. The space inside the car shrank rapidly. Xu Qin struggled in the water nonstop, trying her best to stick close to the roof of the car to prevent the water from pouring into her nose and mouth, but the car quickly sank into the depths under the action of inertia. During the turbulence, the tip of Xu Qin¡¯s nose had already touched the roof of the car and there was no room left. She gasped sharply, a painful whimper overflowing from her throat, thinking that there was no more hope, but the car¡¯s sliding trajectory was stopped again. The man was still stubbornly blocking the car in the midst of the torrent. His feet were pushing against the ground, his head was deeply lowered, his whole body was bent into a bow shape, pressed against the bumper of the car. The weight of two cars rested on him, forcing him to curl up in front of the car motionless. Not far behind him was the whirlpool of the sewer, and he stood in the turbulent water for ten seconds without moving, recovering his strength. The water level was rising little by little. The air was getting thinner and thinner. Xu Qin remained motionless in the car, raised her head, and felt the cold water flowing over her ears, slowly crawling up her face, itching, narrowing the area to her nose and mouth. She knew that the firefighter outside had exhausted all his strength. She didn¡¯t blame him, nor did she blame fate. Not sad or happy, just a little regretful. The water spread to the corners of her eyes, swept over, and submerged her eyes. Her nose and mouth. The next second, the man outside groaned fiercely, and suddenly broke out into a thundering roar: ¡°AHHH!!¡± The roar echoed at the bottom of the bridge. Xu Qin trembled all over, and the car unexpectedly started to move backwards again, a little bit, a little bit. It was extremely challenging and slow-moving to back up against the current of water up the slope! Xu Qin¡¯s eyes were wet. The shadow of the man in the rain was unwavering, his abnormally painful breathing and wheezing resounded at the bottom of the bridge. Still, the car was pushed out from underneath the bridge, the torrential rain covered the sky and drowned out his voice. The water level in the car finally began to drop, and the water gurgled out from the gaps in the car like a soda can with a hole in it. Xu Qin¡¯s stiff and raised head slowly lowered, she gasped for big breath after big breath, still not daring to believe her luck. The man didn¡¯t let up for a moment, clenching his teeth. In a hurry, he pushed the car up the slope. Once the body of the car was completely out of the water, he quickly jumped on the hood and smashed the windshield with a rescue hammer. The spider silk exploded on the glass, and the rain collected in the gaps. After smashing it more than ten times, a hole broke in the glass. At this time, the car slid downwards again. He quickly kicked the glass hole, and the glass shattered into pieces. He reached his hand into the car and shouted: ¡°Come here!¡± The skin on the arm was red and the blood vessels had burst. Xu Qin climbed forward from the back seat and pounced to grab the big hand. The man reached in with his other hand to protect her head, exerted his strength, and lifted Xu Qin out of the broken glass hole. The broken glass left three bloodstained slashes on his arm. Xu Qin had just been pulled out by him. Before she could look up at his face, the car behind hit them again, their car staggered and suddenly started sliding toward the bottom of the bridge. Xu Qin was caught off guard and knocked against his chest, falling into his arms. The man¡¯s shoulders were unusually broad, and his chest was firm and powerful. Vibrating violently from exerting his strength, he had the characteristic male strength and sense of security. Xu Qin was in shock and unconsciously hugged her savior tightly. His body visibly stiffened. Through the icy rain, the man¡¯s body was hot and his muscles were smooth. Xu Qin could smell the scent of rain and sweat on his body, bursting with a masculine smell. She felt his stiffness, and the inexplicable feeling she had in the car just now became clearer. The rain filled the sky, Xu Qin slowly raised her head, and saw Song Yan¡¯s black hair was wet. His eyes were especially bright in the dark night, staring at her. It was really him. Xu Qin¡¯s face was pale: ¡°Why is it you?¡± ¡°No choice.¡± Song Yan said. Xu Qin: ¡°I didn¡¯t mean it like that.¡± Song Yan jumped off the front hood of the car, Xu Qin asked: ¡°You happened to be close by? How come you¡¯re the only one here?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t look back, his temper was extremely bad: ¡°Do you know how many cars had accidents within a radius of five kilometers in one hour? A fucking red rainstorm warning signal and you didn¡¯t stay at home, why are you running around outside?¡± He waded towards the car behind, knocked on the glass, wiped the rainwater off the glass, and looked inside: ¡°Anyone here?¡± No one responded. Song Yan turned on the flashlight and pointed towards the inside of the car. It was full of water, with pillows, tissues and other debris suspended in it. No one was inside. Xu Qin¡¯s car was still sliding towards the deep end. Song Yan made sure that there was no one in the car before he quickly returned to the deeper water and carried Xu Qin off the front hood of the car. He carried her to the shallows, his jaw tight, and didn¡¯t say a single word. Xu Qin leaned into his arms, and her left hand that was resting on his shoulder subconsciously grasped his neckline. With this grasp, her fingertips caught on the exposed bare skin of his neck, wet and scalding, the artery throbbed vigorously. ¡°Let go.¡± His impatient voice fell from above. Xu Qin raised her eyes to look at him, he frowned slightly, his bright eyes under his eyebrows looked forward. Xu Qin didn¡¯t move. Song Yan finally looked down at her with a rather unsightly expression: ¡°Believe it or not, I will throw you into the water.¡± Xu Qin looked at him and knew that with his temper, he would really throw her. But she also hoped that there might be that 1% possibility that he couldn¡¯t bear it, he couldn¡¯t let go. So, she just looked straight at him, but didn¡¯t take her hand away. Under the dim streetlights, his face was sharply defined. Through the curtain of rain, she saw him pull the corner of his lips very lightly, with an overtone of sarcasm and loathing. The next second, Song Yan actually dropped her into the water. More precisely, threw. Plop, a big splash of water came up. It didn¡¯t matter if the water splashed on her face, she was already soaked all over anyways. It just happened that the wind was blowing, and it was extremely cold. CH 10 The water was still turbulent but they had reached the shallows, so Xu Qin could not be washed away. Song Yan lowered his eyebrows and glanced at her, then looked away. He stood in place gasping for breath, he was exhausted to the point of collapse, so naturally his temper was extremely bad. But one after another, more out-of-control cars rushed towards the bottom of the bridge. Song Yan uttered a bunch of swear words, offensively greeting the eighteen generations of ancestors of the car owners, and went to check each car while scolding. Fortunately, the cars were empty, and no one was inside. After Song Yan finished checking the vehicles, he went to set up caution signs. Xu Qin saw that his arm was covered in blood, and remembered that he had been lacerated by broken glass when he rescued her from the car. ¡°You have an injury on your hand.¡± Xu Qin walked towards Song Yan, and at the same time, the walkie-talkie on him rang, ¡°There was a multiple car collision on Qiu Shui Hu Avenue, three wounded individuals are stuck in their driver¡¯s side¡­¡­¡±. Song Yan turned to look at Xu Qin. She was standing in the rainstorm, pale and thin. He conducted a routine check, sweeping his eyes over her up and down, making sure she was okay. After his duty was done, he turned and left. ¡°Did you know it was me inside the car?¡± Xu Qin asked behind him. Song Yan¡¯s footsteps stopped for a second, but he did not reply. The walkie-talkie started ringing again, but he still did not look back. Xu Qin didn¡¯t try to stop him again, she watched him stride away. As soon as he turned the corner at the street, he disappeared from view. Xu Qin¡¯s phone was waterlogged and could not be turned on, but she didn¡¯t need to switch on the phone to know that the hospital would call her. In the event of a major disaster, an emergency plan would be activated, regardless of the emergency department, all shift working doctors had to be on duty. The car couldn¡¯t be recovered, but luckily the hospital was not far, it only took around ten minutes to walk there. When Xu Qin arrived at the hospital, it was nearly twelve o¡¯clock at night. The emergency department hall was full of wet people. Three or four cleaners took turns cleaning, but they couldn¡¯t keep up with the continuous flow of patients seeking medical treatment. The floor was clean one second and full of water the next. Xiao Nan passed by in a hurry and was startled when she saw Xu Qin: ¡°Dr. Xu, how did you end up like this? Did you fall into the water?¡± ¡°I fell, it¡¯s fine. I¡¯ll clean up first and come back in a bit. Oh that¡¯s right, help me dry my phone, I don¡¯t know if it can still be used.¡± ¡°Give it to me.¡± Xu Qin went to the hospital bathroom to shower, changed into spare clothes and went back to the emergency room to join her busy colleagues. It rained heavily all night, and the emergency building lights were on the whole time. On the night of the disaster, in the dimly lit corners of the city, traffic police, armed police, firefighters, rescue teams, special police, medical staff¡­¡­ Countless people gritted their teeth and tried their best to guard the city that night, doomed to sleeplessness. At the break of dawn, the wind and rain subsided. No more newly wounded patients were being sent to the hospital, the doctors and nurses could finally get some space to catch their breath. Xu Qin passed by the hallway at the entrance of the emergency room, where several doctors and nurses had fallen asleep while sitting on the ground. The hallway was quiet and the lights were shining brightly. Xu Qin walked quietly to the cleaning room, washed her hands three times, raised her head, and saw her eye sockets in the mirror were sunken in. When she returned to the office, she realized that her mouth was dry and she hadn¡¯t drank water for more than ten hours. She poured a glass of warm water and stood by the window holding the glass. Outside the window, the rain was drizzling. The sky showed the first glimmers of light, and the streets were in complete disorder. Trees were askew, paper fragments and plastic were all over the place. At 4:30 in the morning, the cleaners had already started picking up trash to clean the city, and the rescue teams were moving vehicles, trees, and clearing road obstructions in the rain. Men in orange uniforms moved back and forth through the evening mist. Xu Qin thought of Song Yan. To think he relied on his own strength to push the car out of the water, smash the windshield, and rescue her from the car. There were countless rescue calls, countless rescue locations, and countless rescuers last night, but it was he who came to this location to save her. Xu Qin finished drinking the glass of water and went to the lounge. After another hour and a half, it would be her turn to work a shift. Most of the emergency patients last night were due to car accidents, drownings; during the day, the patients were primarily due to physical discomfort caused by sudden changes in the climate. Xu Qin was so busy that she ran around nonstop, it was already six o¡¯clock in the afternoon when her shift was over. When she got off work, she barely even had the strength to walk. Her car was still soaking under the bridge, she called Xiao Yixiao and asked him to find someone to help tow it, then called herself a taxi to get home. Along the way, the driver was listening to the radio, and the news broadcast came through: ¡°Last night¡¯s heavy rain has caused widespread damage to nine major urban areas and three counties in the city, causing economic losses of 9.11 billion yuan¡­¡­¡± ¡°Yesterday¡¯s rain was pretty bad. It was flooded everywhere,¡± the driver said. ¡°It was hard on the police and firefighters, tiring and miserable for them. When I headed out this morning, I saw a group of firefighters, they probably completed a mission nearby. Covered in water, soaked through, but didn¡¯t have time to care. They all lay on the ground to sleep. Clothes were covered in mud, leaves, wood dregs, ah, all sorts of things, some were still bleeding from their hands and faces¨C¨C ¡° Xu Qin didn¡¯t speak, wondering if it was Song Yan and the others that the driver had met. Maybe, maybe not. In such a huge city, there were too many people like Song Yan. Because there was a group of people like this, the post-disaster reconstruction work was completed in one day. By the next night, transportation, medical care, business, and life all went back to normal operation. This was the northern metropolis, like a fast-paced, high-speed rotating big machine that stopped briefly, and then continued to move forward silently and firmly. After that rainstorm, the temperature dropped a lot. One couldn¡¯t feel it during the day, but you had to bring a jacket when going out at night. Xu Qin¡¯s car was scrapped, and Meng Huaijin bought her a new one. The car would be ready to be picked up in a week. Xu Qin called a taxi five days in a row, and for five days in a row, sat in the back seat of a dimly lit taxi, looking at the calm urban night view outside the window. When she shivered from the whistling cold wind, she thought of Song Yan. Thought of the hint of comforting warmth from falling into his embrace on that rainy night. On the sixth day, Xu Qin used her connections to get a hold of Song Yan¡¯s shift schedule and the basic circumstances of his team. They were managed in the form of an army camp. Although there were shifts, unmarried soldiers had to stay in the barracks during off-duty hours for daily military training and live in the barracks dormitory together. Regardless of day or night, they were not allowed to go out. He had a three-day vacation once a month, could go home, but couldn¡¯t leave the city, and had to be on call at all times. Xu Qin hung up the phone and stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows on her balcony overlooking Wu Fang Street downstairs. At 5:30 in the afternoon, the red sun was setting, and the surrounding buildings cast long oblique shadows onto Wu Fang Street, cutting the low red brick houses into long blocks that met the boundaries of light and dark. She waited silently. A few minutes later, a text message came. It was Song Yan¡¯s vacation schedule. Today was already the last day of his three-day vacation. Xu Qin turned around and headed out the door, got off the elevator, and exited the building. In just six short days, the season had changed. In the man-made park downstairs, the leaves on the treetops had begun to turn yellow. Xu Qin followed the cobblestone alley clustered with flowers and grass around to the back door of the neighborhood, crossed the long alley, and entered Wu Fang Street. She mixed into the crowd, sliding between the blood-red sunset and the shadow of the buildings, tailor shop, spice shop, barber shop, vegetable shop¡­at the end of the road, a sweet-scented osmanthus tree wafted out its fragrance. She turned into the narrow alley and walked to the entrance of the Di family courtyard. The gate was closed. Xu Qin slipped through the gap between the gates, the sun shone on the screen wall. Bypassing the screen wall, she entered the courtyard. In late summer and early autumn, the wisteria flowers fell all over the doorway of the west wing. The door to the main house was locked, aunt and uncle were not at home. Xu Qin walked across the yard and stepped on the wisteria petals on the ground, a soft and delicate layer. She lifted the wisteria curtain covered with small fruits and went up the corridor, the doors and windows of the west wing were closed. Xu Qin stood there for a second, raised her hand and pushed the door forward, but before she could touch the door panel, there was the sound of steady yet fast footsteps of a man from the other side of the door. Someone picked up a key from the table, and the next second, the door was pulled open. Song Yan had his head slightly lowered, holding a cigarette in one hand and putting the key away in his pants pocket with the other. Just as he was about to step over the threshold, he bumped into Xu Qin who was standing in front of him. His body visibly retracted, then stopped again, his eyes determined. He opened his mouth slightly, looked her up and down for half a second, and smiled sarcastically: ¡°Happened to pass by again?¡± He knew about the last time she went to the base camp to find him. Xu Qin looked into his eyes and said, ¡°I didn¡¯t happen to pass by, I came here purposefully.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Is something the matter?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Last time you saved me, I came to thank you.¡± Song Yan looked at her for a while, his eyes filled with derision, and put the cigarette in his mouth: ¡°Just to say this?¡± He stepped over the threshold and pulled the door shut behind him. Xu Qin didn¡¯t step back, the distance between the two was very close. His chest was in front of her, Xu Qin lowered her eyes, looking at his contour lines under the thin t-shirt, and repeated: ¡°En, I came to thank you.¡± Song Yan leaned against the wall, looked down at her, and said in a low voice: ¡°Then tell me, how do you plan to thank me?¡± Xu Qin hadn¡¯t thought about this question, and raised her eyes bluntly: ¡°How do you want me to express my thanks? Whatever you want is fine.¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyes deepened, looked at her, thought for a second, suddenly straightened up, and his big body forced her away. The fingers holding his cigarette caressed her neck, and a bolt of electricity passed through Xu Qin¡¯s heart. She froze for a moment, not moving. He pointed with the thick calluses on his fingers, and slowly slid up from her delicate white jade neck. He lowered his head and leaned into her ear, and asked in a hoarse voice, ¡°Whatever I want?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s heart trembled: ¡°You pick.¡± ¡°What if I said you can pay me back by giving yourself to me1? Huh?¡± He teased her chin with two fingers, the strong scent of smoke penetrated into her airway. Xu Qin felt her legs weaken, she bit her lip and said nothing. Song Yan tilted his head slightly, stared at her from a close distance, and suddenly snorted, his gaze that was engrossed with her a moment ago flashed with obvious contempt in a split second: ¡°If every woman I save pays me back with her body, I¡¯d be worn out, you think it¡¯d ever get to your turn? He straightened up, squeezed Xu Qin¡¯s chin, shaking it gently, and took off his hand. Xu Qin was silent. Song Yan took the cigarette out of his mouth, exhaled a mouthful of smoke, and stared at her through the blue, white, and red smoke in the sunset: ¡°How much confidence do you have, thinking that after all these years, I still miss you, still want to sleep with you?¡± He spoke too strongly and didn¡¯t show any mercy. As for Xu Qin, her face slightly paled. Xu Qin shook her head lightly: ¡°Song Yan, don¡¯t talk to me with that tone.¡± Song Yan¡¯s expression became annoyed, and his tone became more serious: ¡°Do you still fucking expect me to call you Miss Meng politely?¡± After his rebuke, even falling needles could be heard in the courtyard. Xu Qin looked straight at him, the rims of her eyes slightly red. Song Yan pursed his lips and stopped talking. He turned to look at the woodwork in the yard, his cheeks tightened, it was not clear what he was thinking about. Gradually, indifference appeared in his eyes again, and he wanted to say something more ruthless, but when he turned his head, he saw the ripple of tears in her eyes. Song Yan¡¯s brows twitched fiercely, he gritted his teeth, pointed hard at her in disgust, and warned, ¡°Swallow it back. Don¡¯t fucking play this shit with me.¡± He knew how cold and heartless she was, tenderness or showing weakness was only for her own purpose. ¡°Did you hear me?!¡± he yelled at her. Xu Qin looked at him stubbornly, and the tears in her eyes deepened. Song Yan was so angry, he couldn¡¯t help but want to rip off her mask. He strode forward, grabbed her by the collar roughly and pinned her to the pillar, scolding: ¡°Don¡¯t do this with me!¡± Xu Qin clenched her teeth and stared at him fiercely as if competing. In the next second, a teardrop the size of a bean fell on the back of his hand, breaking into several pieces. Like being burned, he suddenly let go of her, and immediately took a step back. Xu Qin leaned against the pillar, leaving a bunch of folds in her clothes. In early autumn, the courtyard was quiet and clean. The two stood, not looking at each other, not saying a word. The setting sun shone through the wisteria, scattering across their faces. Finally, Xu Qin said softly: ¡°Song Yan, let¡¯s get back together.¡± But his eyebrows and eyes were hidden in the light and couldn¡¯t be seen clearly. His phone beeped, the alarm went off. He had to return to base camp. Song Yan didn¡¯t look back, walked down the steps, crossed the courtyard, and went out the gate. ¡°I¡¯ve already fucking forgotten about you.¡± 1ÒÔÉíÏàÐí ¨C lit. to make a promise with one¡¯s body. It¡¯s an ancient saying usually referring to a woman dedicating all her emotions, body and mind to the man she loves but if there wasn¡¯t an order from the parents or matchmaker, her words actually mean nothing (i.e. sex without the promise of marriage). This usually means sex as many young ones regard ¡°sex¡± as a measure of love, and believe that only sex can maintain and develop love. CH 11 Song Yan, let¡¯s get back together. Xu Qin woke up in the middle of the night, the dreaming version of her said this. The conscious version of her was momentarily flustered by the words she had blurted out. If he had agreed, what would happen next? Would she dare to let her parents know? She wouldn¡¯t dare. Could they stay together for a long time? Not necessarily. She knew it was impossible, but that day she was like a crazy, drowning person who just wanted to grab onto her piece of driftwood, to save her from her withered life. If rescued, could she really abandon her so-called former life and break off all ties with her family? Xu Qin knew the answer very clearly. So when he rejected her, other than the pain and despair, there was some sense of safety and happiness from not needing to adjust her current situation. She had always been torn between these conflicting views, she had never been resolute. The night was silent, she thought, she must have looked so ugly at that time. Song Yan must have clearly seen her ugly self under the mask, so he was disgusted and despised her; so he was unwilling to make amends with her, and didn¡¯t even look back. At three o¡¯clock in the morning, she sat on the bed with chills along her arms. The windows were open, and the night wind was too cold. The weather in the north always cooled down unexpectedly quickly, without any warning. Autumn was already here. Otherwise, how could it be so cold at night. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin was actually native to the south. Before the age of ten, she grew up in the fertile region of Liang City. Ever since she was young, she had a delicate and pretty appearance, with a fine head of hair, soft and supple with a natural flax color, resembling an exotic foreigner. In the days when hair dyeing was just emerging, this was the envy of her classmates. Even more enviable was her identity, the mayor¡¯s daughter, how assertive that sounded; the daughter of a well-known sculptor, how romantic that sounded. She lived in a large villa since she was little, listened to symphonies and looked at famous Renaissance paintings, studied piano and violin, and traveled all over the world, she was the proud daughter of the heavens. One day, her good life suddenly started to break apart from the inside. Mom and dad were no longer in love, quarreling day and night, mom screamed: ¡°Liar, liar, I¡¯m going to report you.¡± Dad snarled cruelly: ¡°If we can¡¯t continue on, just get a divorce, what exactly do you want to do?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t know what her father had lied to her mother about, and she didn¡¯t know exactly what her mother wanted. She couldn¡¯t make sense of any of these issues. Her mother set fire to that happy home late one night, burning to death herself and her once beloved husband. Perhaps she had also wanted to burn the fruit of their love ¨C¨C Xu Qin. But Xu Qin was rescued and sent to the orphanage. The gossip was rampant in the school in the city, the expressions of the people around her became different, jeering at her with amusement. The childcare workers and children in the orphanage didn¡¯t like her, and spoke of her parents¡¯ affairs behind her back like it was a joke. Sometimes she would scream and fight with people, and was punished by the workers to stand, to work, to starve, and not allowed to sleep. Her classmates at school also humiliated her: ¡°Xu Qin, why doesn¡¯t your family¡¯s luxury car come to pick you up anymore?¡± ¡°Xu Qin, where did your Barbie doll go?¡± ¡°Xu Qin, how come you don¡¯t wear calfskin boots anymore?¡± Using the story of her parents, they made up a song and sang it while following her around, pulling her hair and tripping her with their feet. She became more and more quiet, more and more like an invisible person who did not exist. Until one day, Dad¡¯s comrade-in-arms Meng Huaijin and his wife Fu Wenying appeared and said, ¡°Qin Qin, we¡¯re here to take you home.¡± Twelve-year-old Meng Yanchen reached out to her with a warm smile like the sun: ¡°Qin Qin, I¡¯m your brother.¡± At the age of ten, Xu Qin went to the far north. Meng Huaijin treated Xu Qin as her own, and doted on her. In his own words, he and Xu Qin were fated to be father and daughter in this lifetime. Xu Qin loved her adoptive father like she loved her biological father. Adoptive mother Fu Wenying also took great care of Xu Qin, but as Xu Qin gradually integrated into the family, the relationship between the two siblings caught her attention. When Xu Qin first came to the Meng household, Meng Huaijin was busy with work and rarely exercised his control. On the other hand, Fu Wenying¡¯s natural disposition was haughty and strict. She was a woman who believed in sticking to the rules, and strict training was unavoidable for Xu Qin who was not familiar with the rules of the family. Xu Qin trembled day and night, fearing that Fu Wenying would be dissatisfied and force her back to the orphanage. She didn¡¯t dare to speak or leave the room, so Meng Yanchen would accompany her and watch her carve wood for what became countless days. She didn¡¯t dare make a sound at home for fear of disturbing Fu Wenying, Meng Yanchen would go up and down the stairs to open and close the doors making the house rattle; often getting scolded by his mother. She was afraid to be a picky eater, afraid to choose things she liked, and afraid to eat too much for fear that Fu Wenying would think that it was too expensive to raise her. Meng Yanchen would take her to restaurants, she ate until her belly was bulging and wiped the oil from her mouth before returning home. She often had nightmares about the screams of her parents being burned to death, dreamed of being bullied, insulted, and ridiculed, unable to sleep at night. Meng Yanchen would accompany her to draw and tell her stories. Gradually, children grew into young boys and young girls. Although the relationship between the two were very good, like real siblings, but after all, they were not real siblings. As a mother, it was inevitable to worry about crossing the line. One day, Fu Wenying proposed to go through formal adoption procedures and asked Xu Qin to change her name to Meng Qin, and to write it down in the household registry. Xu Qin was unwilling, sat at the dinner table and wiped her tears, saying that although she loved Meng dad, she wanted to be named after her own father. Meng Huaijin couldn¡¯t bear it and suggested not to change it, saying that a surname was just a surname, even if Qin Qin¡¯s surname was Xu, she would still be his daughter for a lifetime. But Fu Wenying was very persistent on this matter. Xu Qin ultimately agreed ¨C¨C Meng Yanchen was the one who persuaded her. A month later, when she was in high school, Xu Qin suddenly proposed to go to a boarding school. Fu Wenying agreed. She changed high schools and it was her first time staying in dormitories, the female classmates in the same dormitory were all from the same junior high school department of the school and were familiar with each other. Meng Huaijin was afraid that she would be bullied, so the whole family sent her to school together. Meng Yanchen also bought a bunch of snacks for the girls in the dormitory in order to buy their favor. However, this yielded very little success. Xu Qin didn¡¯t like to talk, and lacked expression. The girls in the dormitory made a lot of noise, so she naturally felt that she didn¡¯t fit in with the group. After her family members left, the roommates all gathered around a girl to look at the Sony player in her hand, they all asked if there were any good songs on the tape, and to play them out loud to listen to. A girl kindly called on Xu Qin: ¡°Meng Qin¡­¡± She turned around and saw the wine-red CD player on Xu Qin¡¯s bed, and exclaimed: ¡°This CD player is not sold in China. God, this wine-red color looks even better than the one on the advertisements!¡± The other two girls looked back towards her: ¡°Can we give it a try?¡± Xu Qin nodded lightly. ¡°Hey, why is it all classical music?¡± ¡°Nevermind, if it¡¯s classical just let it be, let¡¯s be more culturally refined.¡± The three girls browsed through the discs in high spirits, Xu Qin observed their happy faces intently. ¡°Meng Qin, is your family very rich?¡± Xu Qin shook her head: ¡°It¡¯s just that Dad is willing to buy it.¡± ¡°Was that tall and handsome boy your brother?¡± Xu Qin was silent, and lowered her head to sort out the CDs that everyone had messed up. ¡°Can you introduce me? He¡¯s exactly the type I like.¡± Xu Qin shook her head. ¡°Why not, don¡¯t be so stingy.¡± The other party kept on asking. Xu Qin raised her head and said seriously: ¡°He won¡¯t like you.¡± The other party was flabbergasted, the entire dormitory looked at her in surprise. ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°Yeah, saying that is going too far.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a joke, don¡¯t introduce me if you don¡¯t want to, why say hurtful things.¡± Xu Qin held the box in her hand tightly and remained silent. ¡°Not even going to give an explanation, that¡¯s too much.¡± What was originally a smooth integration process fell to a freezing point just like this. Xu Qin¡¯s first dinner in the new school was eaten sitting alone in the cafeteria. On the first day of school, she was still sitting alone in the corner. The classmates around her all reunited with old friends, she changed school districts, so naturally no one paid attention to the new face. The homeroom teacher¡¯s surname was Lu, he allowed everyone to introduce themselves and ask questions. Fifteen and sixteen year-olds were very noisy, they also all knew each other, leading to all kinds of strange questions. For example, did you accidentally enter the men¡¯s bathroom in junior high school, did you have a failed confession at the junior high school sports competition? All kinds of awkward incidents were revealed. The classroom burst with laughter. After a whole class period of disturbances, the bell rang to end class, Teacher Lu asked: ¡°Everyone introduced themselves right, then next time let¡¯s¨C¨C¡± ¡°Old Lu!¡± A male voice resounded in the back row of the classroom, arrogant and lazy, ¡°That little kid hasn¡¯t been introduced yet.¡± Referred to as the ¡°little kid¡±, Xu Qin turned her head slowly and looked back, in the last row sat a tall boy with a loose school uniform, one foot on a chair. He tilted his head slightly, raised his right hand, and pointed his right index finger lazily at her. The laughter stopped for a moment. The gaze of the entire class followed his index finger to focus on her. Xu Qin looked at him quietly, he didn¡¯t have any superfluous expressions, his eyes were the same as hers, looking straight at her and probing. Teacher Lu was very apologetic and let Xu Qin take the stage. Xu Qin was neither nervous nor excited, and said in a calm tone: ¡°Hello everyone. I¡¯m Meng Qin.¡± After she finished her introduction in one sentence, there was no sound on or off the stage. Teacher Lu wanted to encourage her to say a few more words: ¡°Meng Qin, do you have any hobbies, tell everyone about them.¡± Xu Qin shook her head: ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± Teacher Lu looked at the whole class: ¡°Then time for questions, is there anything anyone wants to ask?¡± Silence. Someone with no information, what can be asked. At this moment, the boy¡¯s voice sounded from behind: ¡°Which Meng and which Qin?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Zi pan meng, shui xin qin1.¡± ¡°So obedient eh.¡± The boy who asked the question raised the corner of his mouth, his messy hair partially covered his eyes, inside them was the reflection of the classroom fluorescent lamps, the white light was bright and sparkling like water. ¡°Brother Yan is dallying with girls again.¡± The boys burst into laughter. ¡°Song Yan!¡± Teacher Lu scolded him. Some classmates responded: ¡°Song Yan didn¡¯t introduce himself either.¡± The rowdy jeering came and went, revealing that he was a popular bad boy. Song Yan stayed in the same spot: ¡°Everyone¡¯s familiar with each other, I won¡¯t say more. ¨C¨COld Lu, class is over.¡± After speaking, he got up and walked towards the door of the classroom. Dissatisfied noises ran out. ¡°I haven¡¯t asked yet.¡± A male classmate who was separated from Xu Qin by a hallway asked loudly: ¡°Last year Zuo Li ¨C¨C the one who got pregnant and dropped out ¨C¨C her parents came to the school and six boys in your class skipped that day. Say, where did you go that day? ¡°Went to find your mother.¡± Song Yan said while he walked through the hallway. The hoarse voice from the youth fell from above Xu Qin¡¯s head. He walked out of the classroom, leaving Xu Qin with a view of his condescending back. Xu Qin acknowledged that she didn¡¯t even have the least bit of interaction with Song Yan. She methodically went to class, finished class, returned to her dormitory, doing everything alone. She was like a lonely soul floating around campus. As for Song Yan, wherever he went he had a group of friends, males and females surrounded him. As long as he was there, the classroom would be unbelievably noisy. But he was rarely there, he skipped school, cut classes, smoked, got into fights, couldn¡¯t be seen all day. But after school that weekend, without any warning, Song Yan blocked Xu Qin¡¯s path and announced to her that he liked her. The two stood facing each other for more than an hour, but in the end Song Yan gave in. He was very unhappy, took out a cigarette, lit it, and smoked it without saying a word. It wasn¡¯t until he finished smoking that he turned his head to glance at Xu Qin with a ¡°you don¡¯t even know¡± expression. But he looked at her, and finally smiled faintly, raised his hand to pat her head, and said: ¡°Go along then.¡± Xu Qin walked away, passed by him, and heard him say: ¡°See you next week.¡± He let her go home, but that doesn¡¯t mean that he set her free. ¡°See you next week, Meng Qin.¡± Song Yan said. Xu Qin didn¡¯t feel any different when she got home. She only said that she got delayed along the way, and never mentioned the ¡°harassment¡± by Song Yan. But on Monday, Song Yan didn¡¯t go to school at all. 1×ÓÃóÃÏ£¬Ë®ÐÄÇß ¨C the individual characters that make up her name, Meng(ÃÏ) Qin(Çß). Together, ×ÓÃó forms ÃÏ and Ë®ÐÄ forms Çß. Mini fact of the day: The character on the left side of Çß is what¡¯s known as the ¡°radical¡± form of the word Ë®£¬it¡¯s called ÈýµãË® (three dots of water). Most characters that have a radical, there¡¯s a non-radical form of the word. CH 12 On Monday, Song Yan didn¡¯t come to school. Didn¡¯t come on Tuesday, didn¡¯t come on Wednesday, didn¡¯t come on Thursday. On Thursday night, Xu Qin finished cleaning up in her dormitory and was about to sleep when she heard the sound of someone climbing over the wall outside the window, followed by the sound of scaling up a tree. She walked onto the balcony, opened the curtains, and saw Song Yan sitting on a branch with a cigarette dangling from his mouth, looking at her with raised eyebrows. Xu Qin closed the curtains behind her and asked, ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t answer, but instead asked, ¡°Little kid, did you miss me?¡± Xu Qin shook her head truthfully: ¡°No.¡± Song Yan¡¯s face stiffened: ¡°Think about it again.¡± When he said this, his expression was a little dangerous, like it was a threat. Xu Qin was silent, the two looked at each other, and after standing for a few seconds, Xu Qin intended to conclude the boring stalemate: ¡°I¡¯m leaving.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Stop right there.¡± Xu Qin stopped and looked at him expressionlessly. Song Yan pointed under the tree with his chin: ¡°Go downstairs.¡± Xu Qin wasn¡¯t planning to. Song Yan: ¡°You have five minutes, if you don¡¯t come down then I¡¯ll go up. ¨C¨CEven if you¡¯re asleep, I¡¯ll yank you out of bed.¡± Xu Qin went downstairs. Song Yan was standing beside the steps leading to the sports field, under a big banyan tree. She walked over, stood two or three meters away from him, didn¡¯t get close, and looked at him with a flat expression. Song Yan stared at her and didn¡¯t speak. After watching her for a while, he took out a cigarette and lit it. He glanced at her from time to time while smoking. Xu Qin didn¡¯t have any additional reactions, only a pair of eyes stared at him and never looked away. The two stared at each other in silence until Song Yan finished smoking his cigarette, then fumbled around to pull out a bag from his pocket and tossed it at her. Xu Qin caught it, at first glance, it was a bag of plum candy that looked very ordinary, however Xu Qin felt a thump in her heart. It was plum candy from her hometown of Liang City, which was not sold in the north. She didn¡¯t know where he got it from, let alone where he learned that her hometown was Liang City. She raised her head to look at him in amazement, he saw surprise and wonder in her expression, which was enough for him. His expression was cold and cool, the pleasure that hinted from the corner of his mouth was gone in a flash, and he quickly regained his arrogant appearance. Just because of the rippling expression on her face, the young man was already satisfied. Song Yan raised his chin: ¡°Go back.¡± Xu Qin looked down at the bag of candy, then looked up at him. She obviously had questions, but she didn¡¯t ask anything, turning around to leave. Song Yan looked at the back of her departing figure, his complexion suddenly became extremely ugly. He strode forward, grabbed her thin shoulders to twist her body around, and said coldly: ¡°Take off your clothes.¡± Xu Qin was stunned. Song Yan threw away the cigarette butt in his hand and without explanation tugged off her school uniform jacket ¨C¨C a turtle had been drawn with ink on the back of her school uniform. She was a transfer student, didn¡¯t like to talk, had no friends, and would inevitably become the object of everyone¡¯s exclusion. The class president didn¡¯t ask to collect her homework, when giving out workbooks threw hers in the trash, when it was her turn to be on duty the other students also on duty would leave early¡­¡­ How could Song Yan not be able to think of these tricks. He clenched his fists: ¡°Who bullied you?¡± Xu Qin was silent. ¡°I¡¯m asking you a question, are you mute? Huh?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± She lowered her head and whispered. The next day at school, Xu Qin wore an extremely wide school uniform jacket with two words written on the back: ¡°Song Yan¡± As for Song Yan he sat squarely in the classroom for one day, staring at Xu Qin all day, occasionally glancing coldly at the ¡°offenders¡± who approached her. No one dared to bully her again. Xu Qin thought about whether Song Yan would know that she deliberately put on her school uniform when she went downstairs. In order to wait for him to see it, she did not wash off the ink on purpose. Whether he knew or not, it didn¡¯t matter, he would still like her anyways. And at that moment when she went downstairs, did she like Song Yan? No. ¡­¡­ National Day was second only to the Spring Festival for the holiday with the highest volume of incidents at the emergency department. As usual, drunk and food poisoning patients were continuously being sent to the hospital. There were also a lot of patients who got into collisions and disputes on the road. Xu Qin, as always, had no excess emotions, just like a regulated robot. Xiao Nan envied the nurses and doctors from the outpatient clinic that had gone on vacation, while complaining about 110 and the traffic police that sent patients to the hospital after any kind of small disagreements regardless of their situation. Not only did some of these patients not have any injuries, they sat around the emergency room making trouble and refused to pay the diagnosis and treatment fees. What¡¯s more, they argued in the hospital over who was responsible for the traffic accident, making lots of noise and fighting, acting like they were in a food market. They had finally made it to the last day of the long break, everyone was unexpectedly nervous and on edge. This was because the beginning and ending of a long holiday was the high-incidence period of highway traffic accidents. No matter how many times the broadcast or street sign reminded you not to speed, drink and drive, or drive fatigued, there would always be people who were lucky with no consequences or had blind and arrogant confidence in their own abilities, rushing towards the gates of hell one by one. On the last day, the emergency department of the Third Military Hospital received three victims of major car accidents. Several teams of doctors and nurses took turns to go into battle, Xu Qin and her group did not get off the operating table until four in the morning. When Xu Qin came out of the operating room, she was bumped by an emotional family member, her back aching. When the family members learned that the operation was successful, they grabbed the medical staff crying with gratitude, Xu Qin stepped aside and left. Xu Qin returned to her office to update her notes, the new nurse, Xiao Dong walked in with an emotional expression: ¡°I¡¯m so moved.¡± ¡°What happened?¡± Xiao Nan explained: ¡°Just now that family member knelt down and kowtowed to Dr. Li, thanking him profusely.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head and continued writing: ¡°With this effort, it would be better to let Dr. Li go back and rest for a while longer.¡± Xiao Nan and Xiao Bei were already used to it and didn¡¯t think it was unusual. Xiao Dong couldn¡¯t help it: ¡°Dr. Xu, the family is grateful and thankful to the doctor, don¡¯t you feel moved?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t even lift her head: ¡°They will soon forget about it.¡± Xiao Dong couldn¡¯t believe it: ¡°How is that possible? If the police rescued you, would you quickly forget about it?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°Humans are forgetful animals by nature.¡± Like that rainy night, a firefighter named Song Yan saved her, and she was grateful and regarded him as a hero the moment she was pulled out of the car. But she forgot after that, life was so busy that she could not recall his merits daily. Just like their past, so many good memories were easily forgotten by her. Xu Qin¡¯s hand that held the pen stopped for a short second, and then continued to write quickly. ¡°Have you seen any patient coming back to thank the doctor after being discharged from the hospital?¡± Xu Qin asked lightly. Xiao Dong was speechless and turned to look at Xiao Nan; Xiao Nan shrugged and shook his head to indicate no. Xiao Dong refused to accept it: ¡°But it was enough to thank you at that time. Besides, wouldn¡¯t you be proud to accept the gratitude of patients and their families?¡± Xu Qin raised her head: ¡°To me, saving people is a job requirement and responsibility, that¡¯s all. I¡¯m not a god, and I¡¯m not a savior.¡± After she finished speaking, she lowered her head calmly and continued to write. ¡°You believe this is fulfilling your work requirements, so you don¡¯t need others to be grateful?¡± Xiao Dong pondered, although it was contrary to her past experience, but it also made sense, ¡°Dr. Xu, I admire your attitude¨C¨C¡± ¡°There¡¯s still the second half of that sentence.¡± Xu Qin tapped the pen on the paper and raised her eyes again. ¡°If he wasn¡¯t successfully rescued, and he died. This is also not my responsibility, not my wrongdoing.¡± Xiao Dong was startled, this doctor was really coldblooded. ¡°Dr. Xu, if someone dies, you really won¡¯t blame yourself?¡± ¡°As a healthcare worker, one needs to clearly accept the reality that medicine, as a scientific discipline, has its limits. If a patient¡¯s condition exceeds the limits of medicine, then his time is up. And I¡¯m not God, just an ordinary person. I¡¯m not responsible for anyone¡¯s death.¡± ¡­¡­ Xu Qin was passing through the hallway when she got off work, and accidentally ran into someone from the fire brigade doing a fire inspection. She then remembered that the hospital issued a fire protection knowledge manual a few days ago, saying that there was a fire protection knowledge lecture today, but Xu Qin was on duty and couldn¡¯t go. Until a disaster occurs, no one will pay any mind to any kind of cautionary measures. Sure enough, when Xu Qin went to the conference room, there were very few people listening, and the lecture was soon adjourned. The lecturer was Li Meng, an instructor from the Shi Li Tai Fire Brigade. Several of her colleagues came to join her after completing the inspection. They finished packing up and prepared to leave. Xu Qin stood at the door and looked around. Li Meng asked with a smile, ¡°Is something wrong?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Are you from Shi Li Tai?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± ¡°Why didn¡¯t Song Yan come?¡± Xu Qin asked. Li Meng was stunned for a while, then smiled: ¡°We are from the fire brigade, he is in the fire squadron.¡± Only then did Xu Qin understand why she didn¡¯t see Song Yan in Xiao Yixiao¡¯s bar last time: ¡°The division of labor is different.¡± Li Meng said: ¡°Squadrons are in charge of actual combat, like firefighting and rescue; but aspects like popular science, publicity, inspections and the like, they are the responsibility of the brigade.¡± Xu Qin pensively and briefly summarized: ¡°They do the dangerous stuff, and you do the easy stuff.¡± Li Meng: ¡°¡­..¡± She can¡¯t help but sigh that this girl¡¯s words were so direct. ¡°Thank you.¡± Xu Qin turned and left. ¡­¡­ Are people forgetful animals? Yes they are, Xu Qin thought. She never again thought about the scenario where Song Yan rescued her, perhaps she subconsciously thought it was an unanswered difficulty. She also rarely thought of Song Yan, because she deliberately avoided the hallway with the fire hydrant. Feelings have never been important, and she was good at repression, it was not difficult to forget and seal it away. A flower that can¡¯t bear fruit, no matter how beautiful it blooms, will be blown away by wind and rain. What¡¯s the point of keeping it? For the next week or two, things were calm. As soon as the cold air from Siberia blows, autumn has just arrived, and yet it suddenly came to an end. In late October, ginkgo leaves on the northern streets turned yellow in large patches. Walking on the street, there would be desolate coldness. It was at this moment that Xu Qin thought of Song Yan. At that time, she was holding a cup of coffee, standing on the bustling but cold crosswalk waiting for the red light. Under the blue sky, the red light flashed, reminding her of the police lights on a fire truck. It¡¯s only because of loneliness, Xu Qin thought. Following the rushing crowds across the street, the thought of losing one¡¯s way was also left behind in the back of her mind. Xu Qin walked into the hospital¡¯s front door quickly, and the busy day began again. After the national holiday, they went to work normally for two weeks. It wasn¡¯t their turn to take time off yet, Xiao Nan complained that they might as well die from exhaustion. It just so happened that in the emergency room, she fell on the ground and was rescued. Xu Qin glanced at her: ¡°Don¡¯t create trouble for me, I¡¯m waiting to get off work.¡± Xiao Nan wailed: ¡°Dr. Xu, you are so ruthless.¡± It was the last shift before their break, ten minutes away from getting off work, and they finally had a moment to rest. Xu Qin washed her hands as soon as she got a chance, and Xiao Nan sighed, ¡°Dr. Xu, I¡¯ve seen so many surgeons who are obsessed with cleanliness, but none of them are like you.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°How many minutes until we get off work?¡± Xiaobei: ¡°Eight minutes.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I hope there isn¡¯t¡­¡­¡± Xiao Nan and Xiao Bei¡¯s expressions changed at the same time, and cried out to stop: ¡°Don¡¯t say stuff like that!¡± Xu Qin closed her mouth and looked at them. Xiao Bei cried and said: ¡°The more you say something like this, the more evil you are.¡± Xiao Nan folded her hands together: ¡°Bah, bah, it didn¡¯t count just now.¡± Just as she was talking, Dr. Li rushed to the door: ¡°Dr. Xu, there is a major traffic accident on Third Ring Road, you go with the ambulance.¡± He glanced at the nurses present. Xiao Nan: ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡± They rushed to the scene of the accident with the ambulance, the journey was relatively smooth. Although the emergency passage was blocked, the vehicles quickly gave way when they heard the emergency siren. The incident happened near the moat. A Ferrari speeding through a red light ran into a car and a motorcycle, and broke through the guardrail, falling into the river. The ambulance rushed to the scene and made a quick stop, the fire and rescue vehicles that had rushed to the scene stopped at almost the same time. Xu Qin put one hand in the pocket of her white coat, opened the car door with the other and jumped out of the car; Song Yan, dressed in orange, leaped out of the tall rescue car. The two met face-to-face, and looked at each other briefly, as quick as a flash of lightning. Their gazes broke, and each quickly turned towards their target. One headed west, the injured had been thrown out and fell to the side of the road. One headed east, the injured people were stuck in wrecked cars. White ambulance, red rescue vehicle, lights flashing. The two individuals, one white and one orange, walked away from each other, drawing a straight and steady track in the autumn wind. CH 13 The traffic and civil police had blocked off the scene, many people gathered around the cordon to watch and discuss amongst themselves. A policeman pointed out to Xu Qin: ¡°Her injuries are the most serious, she wasn¡¯t wearing a seatbelt and was thrown out of the perpetrator¡¯s sports car.¡± Xu Qin quickly ran to the side of the injured person who had been flung out. It was a young girl. On that cold autumn day, she was wearing a thin skirt, her body twisted into a strange shape, covered in blood. A large pool of blood stained the pavement, a crimson flower bloomed with her at the center. There was no way to survive that amount of bleeding. Even still, Xu Qin checked her pulse and pupils, then inspected her bones ¨C¨C cervical vertebrae, spine, thighs, all broken. Xu Qin got up and said to the policeman beside her: ¡°She¡¯s dead.¡± The other party sighed: ¡°So young¨C¨C¡± Just as he was talking, a startled shout came from a distance: ¡°Captain Song!¡± The two looked towards the sound, the Ferrari that caused the accident had been smashed to pieces, its outer shell twisted into a grotesque shape and tipped over in the river. The driver who caused the accident was stuck in the front side and sank upside-down into the water. The firefighters hadn¡¯t had the time to set up the tools yet, but the smashed up sports car was sinking into the river little by little. Song Yan couldn¡¯t wait any longer, he leaped over the railing, ran down the river bank with a couple of strides, jumped into the river, and squeezed into the deformed driver¡¯s side. The sinking scrap metal made a violent clanking sound and got caught on his shoulders ¨C¨C he used his own body to push against the cabin. The surrounding people were scared witless. The policeman next to her shuddered and clicked his tongue repeatedly: ¡°I¡¯ll go and help!¡± Xu Qin pursed her lips, firmly retracted her gaze, turned to leave, and walked towards another injured victim ¨C¨C a migrant worker who had been sent flying off the motorcycle after being hit. He was wearing a construction safety helmet, lying on the ground with his eyes closed as if he had lost consciousness, but his limbs twitched from time to time as if having a nightmare. Xu Qin went over to his side and looked around, except for scrapes on his joints, there were no other obvious injuries on his body. The migrant worker suddenly groaned vaguely and seemed to awaken a bit, but his eyes could not be fully opened. Xu Qin asked: ¡°Do you feel any discomfort?¡± The migrant worker squinted and mumbled: ¡°Doctor, I crashed to the ground and hit my head¨C¨C¡± Before he could finish speaking, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted. Xu Qin took off his helmet and found that it was cracked. There were no wounds on his head either, it wasn¡¯t immediately clear what his condition was. Xiao Nan put away the blood pressure monitor: ¡°The blood pressure is on the high side.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°You and Dr. Lu take him to the hospital.¡± ¡°Understood.¡± When the unconscious migrant worker was put on the stretcher, Xu Qin glanced towards the river. Song Yan was stuck inside the car, carrying that rotten vehicle. She couldn¡¯t see his face, only his orange rescue uniform and silhouette ¨C¨C he supported the car frame with one shoulder and the head of the unconscious driver with one hand, preventing his head from sinking into the water. There was also another firefighter inside the driver¡¯s side that supported the car with him, helping him share the burden; the instructor and the rest of the team were studying the scene, making a rescue plan and arranging tools. Xu Qin quickly retracted her gaze again. The car that was hit was parked on the side of the road. The hood was cracked, the body was compressed, and the driver was screaming inside the car, his legs were stuck and he couldn¡¯t get out. Two or three firemen were sawing the doors. Xu Qin went to check and found that the driver¡¯s hand was broken, but there was no obvious trauma elsewhere. There were no fractures of the rib cage in the thoracic cavity, and there was no pain when the abdomen was pressed, there were no serious problems. Xu Qin reminded the firefighters to pay attention to the position of the femoral artery, and not to injure the artery when cutting the body of the car. She left another colleague at the scene and left. Only now did she see that the dead girl was still lying on the road. The autumn wind was bleak, blowing on her pale limbs. The police were busy investigating the identities and maintaining the surrounding security, there was no one to care about her. The passers-by on the side took pictures with their cellphones, perhaps wanting to share them with social circles and post on Weibo. Xu Qin glanced coldly at these passers-by, the group of people seemed to have realized they reacted inappropriately, and weakly put away their phones. Xu Qin frowned, pulled a piece of white cloth from the ambulance, and covered the girl. The police hadn¡¯t verified her identity yet. At this moment, the family members of this anonymous person who were far away may not know that she had already passed, and were busy with their own things. Xu Qin walked to the riverside, several firefighters tried to lift the scrapped car from the river to the dam, but the car was folded in two at the front seat. The broken frame inside created a lever such that if the car body was pushed, it would cause the driver stuck inside to be crushed into meat sauce. There would be danger whenever it was moved, so at the end of the discussion, the only solution was to saw the car open in the river. After everything was set up, Yang Chi put earplugs on Song Yan in the water, and also put earplugs on himself to help support the car together with Song Yan. The chainsaw started, it was extremely ear-piercing. Xu Qin put on her earplugs, but she couldn¡¯t stand the sound that drilled into her head like a screwdriver, making her nerves tingle. She frowned slightly in pain and ran to the side of the inverted car. She groped under the upside-down car and examined the unconscious victim through the shattered windshield. She glanced at Song Yan, who was standing in the water with a twisted steel frame on his shoulders, his face was covered in sweat as he clenched his jaw. Xu Qin: ¡°Give me his hand.¡± Song Yan held the frame with his right hand and the head of the injured person with his left, there was no free hand. Yang Chi was also close behind him, there was no room to move around. Seeing this, Xu Qin stretched out her hand to reach the injured person¡¯s hand. As she stretched her hand inward, and her face unconsciously touched the broken glass of the car window. A pair of white and clean hands were still grasping in the air. He lowered his head and said with restraint: ¡°Retract them.¡± She retracted her hands back. Song Yan rested the injured person¡¯s head on his leg, pressed his hip against it, then bent over with difficulty, groped for the injured person¡¯s arm, fished his hand out from behind, and handed it to Xu Qin. Xu Qin took the injured person¡¯s hand, cleaned up a patch of skin, disinfected, inserted a needle, and put in an IV. In the gaps between sticking the medical tapes, Xu Qin quickly raised her eyes and glanced at Song Yan, who was looking at her, frowning slightly, his eyes unpredictable. When their eyes met, he moved away. The two no longer met eyes. Song Yan was in the car, holding the body of the injured person; Xu Qin squatted under the frame with her waist hunched over, holding the IV bottle high with one hand and holding the injured person¡¯s wrist with the other. The sound of sawing steel bars outside was deafening, accompanied by the occasional shaking of the body frame. In the narrow space, the two were almost within reach, but they didn¡¯t say a word, only moving along with the swaying body from time to time. They didn¡¯t know how long it had been, but it seemed that there was no progress. Saws, pliers, all kinds of tools took turns to go into battle, it was a slow and anxious advance, it was a long and unbearable torture. The moment the car body was sawed off came without warning, and with a bang, the car body exploded from the middle! The team members sawing the car quickly dodged, and the front and rear of the car sank rapidly. The front compartment suddenly tilted upwards, snapping and breaking the upside-down window frame. Tired Xu Qin was leaning against the upside-down car window, caught off guard, and saw that the frame was about to catch her clothes and lift her whole body up! Song Yan squeezed sideways and pushed Xu Qin away. Xu Qin was suddenly pushed out of the car and fell into the water. The needle tube was torn off, and the injured person had been ejected. Song Yan happened to be blocking that segment of the frame, the car body tilted up, and the broken car frame brushed past his back, accompanied by a tearing sound that would make one¡¯s blood run cold ¨C¨C the steel bar pierced through his protective suit. Song Yan¡¯s face twitched almost twisted, his lips instantly turned white, and his forehead dripped with sweat. Xu Qin heard that the sound was far from good and wanted to see what happened. Song Yan didn¡¯t show her his back, and said coldly: ¡°Won¡¯t you change the needle?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t insist on moving towards him, she was still holding an IV bottle in her hand, and the needle tube on the bottle was broken. It was important to rescue the wounded at this moment. The perpetrator was lifted out immediately. Xu Qin also quickly climbed to the shore, changed the needle and re-infused. After she finished treating, she followed her colleague to put the person on a stretcher. As she was about to lift them into the ambulance, she inadvertently saw blood dripping from a segment of the frame. Xu Qin¡¯s heart froze and she turned around to search. The firefighters were finishing up, Song Yan was walking towards the fire truck, and she rushed towards him. Song Yan felt Xu Qin¡¯s approach out of the corner of his eye, but before he could react, she had already run over and tugged on his arm. The clothes on his back were cut open, and there was a deep and long bloody gash on his back. Xu Qin¡¯s gaze was horrified and she couldn¡¯t help but say: ¡°Go to the hospital.¡± Song Yan removed her hand: ¡°I was just about to.¡± There were many hospitals, it was not necessary to go to hers. Xu Qin stared at him slightly annoyed for a second, his expression was leisurely and disdainful, he didn¡¯t seem to take her seriously. Xu Qin nodded: ¡°Okay.¡± As he was about to leave, he heard Suo Jun exclaim: ¡°Song Yan, what happened to your back? Hurry up and leave with the ambulance!¡± As he spoke, he rushed up to the ambulance and waved, ¡°There are injured people here.¡± Song Yan looked impatient and grabbed the handrail to get on the fire truck: ¡°We¡¯ll pass through the army hospital along the way.¡± ¡°The ambulance is here!¡± Suo Jun pushed and shoved, ¡°Get in the car, are you going to delay that patient? Huh?¡± The injured patient who caused the accident had just been loaded into the ambulance, when the driver heard the call from here and waited with his head extended. Song Yan gritted his teeth, but there was nothing he could do, so he strode over and jumped into the car. Xu Qin was helping Dr. Li give first aid to the injured patient, she didn¡¯t look at him. When the car started, Xu Qin instructed Xiao Dong: ¡°Go over and treat the fireman.¡± Xiao Dong heard the words and went to stop the bleeding for Song Yan. No words were exchanged the whole way. When they arrived at the hospital, the portable hospital bed had just been pushed out of the ambulance, and the parents and relatives of the wounded who were waiting in the hospital rushed up, crying and concerned. Xu Qin pushed aside the crowd: ¡°Make room.¡± The mother of the patient saw her son¡¯s tragic condition and cried uncontrollably; the uncles and aunts grabbed at the doctor and cried: ¡°You must save him. He is only twenty-three years old.¡± Xu Qin and a few doctors pushed the hospital bed: ¡°Let go first!¡± When the hospital bed was pushed through the front entrance, it hit a stone and the bed jolted. The patient¡¯s mother rushed over anxiously: ¡°Be careful with my son!¡± This collision bumped into Xiao Dong and Xu Qin next to the hospital bed. Xu Qin lost her focus and fell towards the hospital bed, her hands unconsciously grabbing the edge of the bed for balance. But in this moment, she saw danger. During the pushing and shoving just now, the steel needle and catheter in the patient¡¯s hand had become disconnected, the needle that fed blood was exposed to the air, just where her hand was about to grab. Oh no. That moment seemed to be stretched infinitely long, but it was also extremely short, so short that she wanted to avoid the needle, but it was already too late for her body to react. CH 14 Xu Qin¡¯s body was out of control, she was about to come into contact with the sharp needle. Suddenly, a big hand grabbed her from behind and pulled her back with great force. Her heart rapidly rose and fell in half a second. The nurse next to her, Xiao Dong, was left unattended, and was shoved by the patient¡¯s family in the direction of the needle. Xiao Dong¡¯s hand slammed into the edge of the bed, grabbing the exposed needle. Xiao Dong screamed miserably and quickly pulled back her hand, a drop of blood emerging from her fingertips. When the family members saw this, they were all taken aback. The mobile hospital bed had been escorted away by the medical staff on duty, Xu Qin grabbed the nurse on duty and instructed: ¡°Give me a copy of this patient¡¯s blood test results later.¡± After she finished speaking, she looked back at Xiao Dong who was still staring at her fingers and foolishly standing in place. Xu Qin quickly pulled her aside: ¡°Hurry and clean up, then go to the Department of Infectious Diseases to report the injury and wait in the observation room. The family members apologized to Xiao Dong profusely, saying sorry. Xiao Dong¡¯s face twitched twice, she wanted to say it¡¯s okay, but she was scared, wronged and angry, couldn¡¯t say anything, and left with red-tinged eyes. The emergency incident came to an end. Xu Qin turned back and saw Song Yan¡¯s eyes through the crowd that was moving away. It was he who pulled her out of the way just now. Song Yan glanced at her indifferently and turned to leave. Xu Qin chased after him, grabbing his sleeve from behind. Song Yan stopped and seemed to sigh before turning around. His expression was still impolite, and his words were still sarcastic: ¡°You want to repay me for saving your life again?¡± Xu Qin shook her head and pointed to his back: ¡°I¡¯ll take care of that for you, all the other doctors are busy.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Does that mean I don¡¯t have a choice?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Last time when you saved me, I also didn¡¯t have a choice.¡± ¡­¡­ In the surgery room, Xu Qin sat on a chair, pulled over the rack, put on a mask, and said: ¡°Take off your shirt.¡± Looking back, Song Yan was standing in front of her, looking directly at her. He neatly took off his protective suit, a thin army green t-shirt inside, which was damp and stuck to his body. He tore it off easily and tossed it aside. On the side, Xiao Bei and Xiao Xi stared blankly, their faces turning red. Xu Qin had put on a mask earlier, one couldn¡¯t see the expression on her face, but her long eyelashes fluttered once or twice. The man exposed a wet upper body, tall build, firm muscles, smooth and sexy lines. A few drops of water fell from his neck, slid across his chest, abdominal muscles, and mermaid line, disappearing into his long pants. Xu Qin couldn¡¯t help but do a quick glance up and down and looked away. Song Yan pulled the corner of his lips very lightly, then turned around and lay on the bed, acting like a cooperative patient. Xiao Bei and Xiao Xi were still blushing and their ears were hot. Xu Qin¡¯s silent and admonishing eyes swept over and stared at them both. The two came back to their senses. Xiao Bei came over to help Xu Qin clean up Song Yan¡¯s wound, while Xiao Xi recorded it. Xu Qin measured the wound with a medical ruler: ¡°3cm on the right side of the spine, 13 in length and 2.5 at the widest part.¡± Xiao Xi buried her head in her writing. ¡°Cut wound, in the wound there are paint chips, iron filings, water plants¡­¡­¡± Xiao Xi felt pain when she heard it, she couldn¡¯t help but raise her head and ask: ¡°How did you get it?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t answer, the memory of Song Yan pushing her away flashed through her mind, the broken car frame made such a horrific wound on his back. And just now at the entrance of the hospital, he was sharp-sighted and quick to save her from the needle¡­¡­ Thinking of this, Xu Qin glanced at Song Yan inadvertently, he was lying on the bed with his back facing up, his head buried in his arms, and she couldn¡¯t see his face. Only the scrapes on his arms could be seen, the skin was reddened. She let herself withdraw her train of thought and picked up surgical tweezers to clean the wound for him. Just as she touched a paint chip in the wound, Song Yan¡¯s body shrank abruptly. Through the thin latex gloves, the strength of his back muscles contracting in pain spread to Xu Qin through her pinkie, straight to her heart. It was just for a moment, he quickly relaxed. Xu Qin stopped for a second and asked: ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want anesthesia?¡± Song Yan buried his head: ¡°En.¡± Xiao Bei and Xiao Xi widened their eyes and looked at each other, no way right? After cleaning up, disinfecting, applying medicine and stitches, it would hurt so much. Xu Qin did not try to persuade him any further and continued the procedure. However, for some reason, this procedure had become different from what it used to be. Every time she reached into the wound with the tweezers, the slight tremors of his back muscles tensed by pain would follow along the tip of her pinkie crashing into her heart, trembling, trembling, there was life. It was like walking barefoot in the bathroom, every step you took, you got a slight electric shock. It reminded her clearly: in front of her was a living person who felt pain, not an anesthetized comatose work obligation. Every step numbed her heart to the extent that she couldn¡¯t help but wonder if he was deliberately trying to create this effect. Towards the end of the stitching step, the auxiliary work of Xiao Xi and Xiao Bei had been completed, and the cellphone in Xiao Xi¡¯s pocket kept vibrating. She picked it up to take a look, her face changed suddenly, and she poked Xiao Bei. The two exchanged eye contact for a while, then quickly ran out. Xu Qin didn¡¯t mind them. They had their own discretion, and they wouldn¡¯t run away like this if it wasn¡¯t a matter of urgency. The emergency department had special cases every day, it was not possible to go by the book. There was only Xu Qin and Song Yan left in the surgery room. The room was quiet, so quiet that you could hear the sound of sutures passing under skin tissue. Xu Qin didn¡¯t even realize that under the mask, the air she breathed condensed into droplets of water. There was also a thin layer of sweat that emerged on her forehead. She operated the needle forceps skillfully and slowly, and suddenly said: ¡°You¡¯re awake?¡± Song Yan: ¡°En.¡± Clearly he was not in the mood to chat with her. The two were speechless again. There was only the muscles on his back that followed the needle and thread of her fingertips, pit-a-pat, touched her fingertips. She glanced at him, his temples were all sweaty and wet with messy hair. He continued to endure the pain. Xu Qin lowered her eyes and said: ¡°Thank you for today in the lake.¡± Song Yan¡¯s voice was slack and came from between his arms, which was not very clear: ¡°Job responsibility.¡± Xu Qin asked: ¡°Was it a job responsibility to pull me away in front of the mobile hospital bed just now?¡± Song Yan was motionless and did not answer immediately. In the small space, there was a depressing silence. Xu Qin calmly cut the thread and said: ¡°Done.¡± With a gentle kick of her feet, the chair slid away a short distance: ¡°Answer me.¡± Song Yan was soaked in sweat and sat up, his tone bore his anger: ¡°Xu Qin, what are you trying to do?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°What?¡± Song Yan looked her in the eye: ¡°Inexplicably you ran to my house to seek reconciliation, what are you trying to do? Huh? Get back together?¡± He smiled sarcastically, with contempt, ¡°Did you think everything through before you came to make peace?¡± Xu Qin stared at him, her black eyes straight and hard. He suddenly felt annoyed, touched her face with his big hand, and pulled off her mask: ¡°How do you want to reconcile, huh? Play along with you, kick me away once you¡¯ve played enough. What are you trying to do? Is it fun to fool around like this? I¡¯m asking you, is it fun? His provoking words sharpened the quills all over Xu Qin¡¯s body, ¡°Ha¡± she sneered, and retorted: ¡°Are you interested? You¡¯ve already forgotten about me, why do you care what I¡¯m trying to do? When the car frame broke, why did you push me¨C¨C¡± ¡°That was work!¡± Song Yan interrupted her angrily. Xu Qin retorted back: ¡°Pulling me away in front of the hospital bed was work as well?!¡± This sentence choked Song Yan into silence. Song Yan pursed his lips and stared at Xu Qin without blinking for a moment, his face full of anger. Xu Qin: ¡°Why aren¡¯t you answering anymore? Say it.¡± He gritted his teeth and didn¡¯t answer. His abrupt and stubborn silence made her angry, laughing instead, she pressed harder step by step, refusing to give in: ¡°Too afraid to say more? Pulling me away in front of the hospital bed, was it also a job responsibility?¡± ¡°No.¡± Song Yan looked at her and finally said it. ¡°What was it then?¡± She still refused to let go. ¡°After all, I once liked you.¡± Song Yan said. Xu Qin¡¯s heart was suddenly stabbed with a knife. The answer was unexpected, like expecting flowers to bloom but suddenly getting snow instead. Only once, now it had passed. These words were so¨C¨C so ruthless. Xu Qin picked up the scissors with her fingers, despondent for a moment and then quickly regained her senses. She wanted to laugh a little but nothing came out, her lips moved, ultimately there was nothing to say. After Song Yan finished speaking, he picked up his phone from the bed and walked out tiredly, his figure from behind looked exhausted. From start to finish he didn¡¯t look at Xu Qin even once, not even out of the corner of his eyes. Xu Qin sat there for a while, before silently taking off her gloves and throwing it into the trash can; the face mask was still hanging on her ears, and she took a second before tearing it off and throwing it away. The condensed water on her face had long since dissipated, it was dry and uncomfortable. ¡­¡­ After Xu Qin washed her hands, she stuck her hands in her pockets out of habit and went out the door. She ran into the migrant worker in the hallway, who was touching the back of his head while heading towards the entrance. Xu Qin: ¡°You are the one from the car accident¨C¨C¡± The young migrant worker stared at Xu Qin for a while, then recognized her, pointed at her and laughed: ¡°You are the doctor who saved me.¡± Xu Qin frowned: ¡°Where are you going now? Stay here and don¡¯t run around.¡± The young migrant worker touched his head: ¡°I had a CT scan and a full body examination. If there¡¯s nothing wrong, I have to go back to work.¡± He was run into so hard, yet he was unharmed. Xu Qin: ¡°Your helmet is broken, remember to buy a new one.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± ¡°Have you negotiated compensation?¡± Xu Qin asked. ¡°Compensation?¡± The young migrant worker thought about it, understood, and smiled heartily, ¡°They paid for the medical expenses, and they also gave me money to repair the motorcycle, that¡¯s enough. I¡¯m okay, no illnesses, no disasters, so I don¡¯t need to be compensated.¡± After saying that, he left happily. Xu Qin put her hands in her pockets and stood in the same spot, watching his back as he left briskly. After being at the hospital for so long, what she hadn¡¯t thoroughly figured out, and what could not be explained by science, was their respective fates. Xu Qin turned around and walked to the observation room, and ran into Xiao Bei hurriedly approaching. Xiao Bei saw Xu Qin, with a look of horror and sadness on her face: ¡°Dr. Xu!¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Where did you run to with Xiao Xi just now?¡± Xiao Bei glanced at the surrounding patients and pulled Xu Qin aside: ¡°The patient who was sent to be rescued just now, the one who caused the car accident, the blood test came back, HIV positive, AIDS.¡± Xu Qin was taken aback. Xiao Bei gritted her teeth angrily: ¡°His parents knew but kept it to themselves. Because it was an emergency and he lost too much blood, they didn¡¯t wait for the blood test results before the doctors and nurses from Dr. Li¡¯s team all entered the operating room.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°They are still in the middle of performing surgery?¡± ¡°Yes. I didn¡¯t dare to inform the people inside, because I was afraid of causing accidents from panic, so I was replacing people one by one. Replacing them with people equipped with more protective measures.¡± It sounded like a crisis. Xu Qin was silent for a while and asked: ¡°Where¡¯s Xiao Dong?¡± Xiao Bei¡¯s expression changed from grief, anger and nervousness to sadness: ¡°Crying like crazy. ¨C¨CAntibody test will take six weeks, it looks like these couple of days will be difficult. Xu Qin was speechless. If it wasn¡¯t for Song Yan¡¯s pull, she would have been the one who fell into the blood-returning indwelling needle, and also the one who would have been at risk of HIV infection at this very moment. Song Yan¨C¨C Xu Qin¡¯s heart sank, and a series of images suddenly flashed before her ¨C¨C he was soaking in the water to support the car frame, holding the perpetrator¡¯s bleeding head, the wound on his back¡­¡­ There were also several firefighters who jumped into the river to save people but may have been injured in the process¡­¡­ Xu Qin stood on the spot, and a coldness swept over her body up from the soles of her feet. CH 15 Xu Qin walked quickly through the corridor, took out her mobile phone and called her colleagues in the Infectious Diseases Department to report the situation: ¡°There were four or five firefighters in the water. During the process of moving and sawing the car, some people may have received injuries. My colleague in the emergency department has already contacted the fire brigade. ¡ªYes, okay, I¡¯ll contact you if anything else comes up.¡± She hung up the phone, and then wanted to notify Song Yan, but she didn¡¯t have his number. Sooner or later, he would be notified, no point being in a rush for this short period of time. She planned to go to the observation room to see Xiao Dong first, but after passing a set of doors, she caught a glimpse of Song Yan inside. She thought she was mistaken, but when she looked back, it was really him¡ª he sat on the edge of the bed and put on a clean t-shirt, then put on a coat afterwards. Xu Qin pushed the door open and went in. Song Yan was putting his arms through his coat sleeves, and when he stretched out his arms, he probably pulled the wound on his back. He frowned and made a ¡°hiss¡± in his throat. Xu Qin quickly stepped forward to help, when a woman came out from behind the curtain by the bed. It was Li Meng who came to the hospital for a fire inspection last time, apparently to deliver clothes to Song Yan. She stepped forward and took the jacket collar from Song Yan¡¯s hands, helped Song Yan put on his jacket, and then squatted beside his legs, carefully aligning the bottom of the jacket zipper, and zipping it up. Xu Qin involuntarily stopped in her tracks. Song Yan sensed movement out of the corner of his eye, and looked sideways. Xu Qin stood at the end of the bed, put her hands in her pockets, and looked at him calmly. Only then did Li Meng realize that someone had come in, she immediately let go and walked to the side, wiping the corner of her eyes. When she turned around again, the rims of her eyes were still red, and she forced a smile at Xu Qin. Song Yan looked at Xu Qin and asked, ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± Seeing that his tone was not good, Li Meng pushed him lightly, and apologized to Xu Qin: ¡°This is just the way he is, he has a bad temper, don¡¯t take any offense doctor.¡± A faint trace of politeness hung on Xu Qin¡¯s face, and she said, ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t bother to answer. He took out a cigarette case from his pocket and tapped it on the table, took out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, and was about to light it. Xu Qin said: ¡°No smoking in the hospital.¡± Song Yan glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, turned the lighter in his hand, his rough thumb stroke the gear, but did not press it down. Li Meng stepped forward and tugged the cigarette from his mouth: ¡°Be obedient. Listen to the doctor.¡± Song Yan lightly closed his lips, his eyes turned, and he gazed intently at Li Meng with a dangerous look. The air was also a little tense. Li Meng was thin-skinned, blushing all over the place. She was at a loss, she didn¡¯t know what to do with the cigarette in her hand, whispered, ¡°Smoke when you¡¯re outside.¡± Song Yan looked at her for a while, then suddenly relaxed, and smiled: ¡°Whatever you say.¡± Then he put the lighter away. Xu Qin stood in place, silent. When facing such moments, her usual response was to remain silent, not run away, but to stand still and remain silent. Fortunately, she had been tired from working all day and her mind was numb. Even if there was some pain in her heart, she couldn¡¯t feel it. The other woman in the room was clearly enamoured. Li Meng felt that Song Yan¡¯s eyes were unpredictable a second ago, but the next second her cheeks were flushed by his words ¡°whatever you say¡±, and couldn¡¯t help but laugh. When she saw Xu Qin, she stopped laughing, politely asking: ¡°Is the doctor here for something? Do you want to re-examine, take a look at his injuries?¡± Xu Qin shook her head lightly: ¡°Don¡¯t need to right now, come back for a follow-up in four days.¡± After speaking, she handed Song Yan a list, ¡°These medicines are for internal and external use.¡± Li Meng automatically reached out to intercept it, took the list, and said to Song Yan, ¡°I¡¯ll go get the medicine.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go together.¡± Song Yan stood up and put away the belongings on the table by stuffing them into his pockets. Xu Qin was not a fool, nor was she completely senseless. She could clearly perceive that he didn¡¯t want to stay here any longer, and he didn¡¯t want to be alone with her. With this kind of awareness, you have to be prepared for it to sting. The aisle was very narrow, Xu Qin didn¡¯t get out of the way, and when Song Yan walked past her, he bumped into her shoulder. Xu Qin shook slightly and said, ¡°You stay, I have something to tell you.¡± She turned back, and Song Yan also turned back: ¡°So talk then.¡± Li Meng stood at the doorway and looked at the two strangely. Xu Qin glanced at Li Meng, then looked at Song Yan, and said, ¡°It¡¯s better for us to talk about this alone.¡± Li Meng smiled generously: ¡°Then I¡¯ll go get the medicine first.¡± She closed the door as she left, looking very at ease. Song Yan took a step forward, leaned against the end of the hospital bed, lowered his head and turned his lighter: ¡°Tell me, what¡¯s the matter.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t beat around the bush: ¡°The person you rescued in the river has an infectious disease.¡± ¡°What disease?¡± ¡°AIDS.¡± The lighter in Song Yan¡¯s hand paused, then after a while, started turning again, then after another while, stopped again. After going back and forth for a few rounds, he took out his cellphone and went next to the window to make a call. Xu Qin said: ¡°Your team has already been notified, the team members involved in the rescue are all on their way to the hospital, their wounds will be checked then.¡± Song Yan put away the phone: ¡°Okay.¡± He frowned and stood silently for a while, no idea what he was thinking, he unconsciously took out the cigarette case from his pocket, took out a cigarette, stuffed it in his mouth, and lit it. This time, Xu Qin didn¡¯t stop him. Xu Qin let each other digest for a while before asking, ¡°Apart from your back, do you have any other skin injuries on your body?¡± ¡°No.¡± Song Yan was unusually calm. Xu Qin recalled: ¡°The car frame was always above the surface of the water, and there was no blood on it. After you were lacerated, did your back come into contact with water again, or with anything stained with blood? ¡°No.¡± ¡°If not, the probability of infection is very small.¡± Xu Qin breathed a sigh of relief. ¡°I know.¡± Song Yan exhaled a puff of smoke, and turned to look at her, ¡°I should be fine.¡± Across the blue-white smoke, there was a hint of ambiguity in his eyes, which passed in an instant. Xu Qin: ¡°You should be fine, but you don¡¯t look very relaxed now¡ª¡± ¡°After the car was lifted, my team members brought him out, and I went ashore.¡± Song Yan lowered his head and bit his teeth lightly, ¡°The team member who picked him up had frayed skin on his hands.¡± Xu Qin was silent. Song Yan took a deep puff of his cigarette and asked: ¡°How is that little nurse?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Her mood is very unstable.¡± Song Yan nodded, noncommittal. Xu Qin: ¡°Whatever the case, come to our hospital¡¯s Infectious Disease Department for a checkup in six weeks.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yan answered briefly. ¡°That¡¯s everything.¡± Xu Qin turned and walked towards the door after speaking. Song Yan was also ready to leave, reaching out to the window sill, just about to put out the remaining half of the cigarette. Xu Qin paused and stood by the hospital bed, motionless. Song Yan¡¯s hand stopped in mid-air and turned to look at her white back. Xu Qin finally couldn¡¯t hold back and turned to face him: ¡°That person just now was your girlfriend?¡± Song Yan asked back, ¡°Does that have anything to do with you?¡± ¡°Heh.¡± Xu Qin laughed lightly and said in a thin tone, ¡°If you have a girlfriend, say ¡®I have a girlfriend¡¯ when you reject me, that¡¯s enough. It was hypocritical to say a lot of insignificant things in the operating room and put all the blame on me.¡± Song Yan looked at her in disbelief. After a while, he lowered his head and smiled. There was speechlessness, incomprehension, and anger in this smile, but in the end, everything disappeared, and there was only ridicule: ¡°The problems between you and I, just talk only about you and I, what¡¯s the point in pulling in others?¡± Whether these words were protecting Li Meng or whether he was indifferent to the point of contempt, Xu Qin didn¡¯t know. But this attitude was undoubtedly like a match igniting a flame. Xu Qin was so provoked that a trace of annoyance flashed in her eyes, she stared at him and broke everything down word by word: ¡°Your problem with me is that I left you back then? You think I¡¯m wrong, but I think you¡¯re the one who¡¯s wrong. We were only how old back then, we couldn¡¯t support ourselves. Under those circumstances, could I betray my parents and run away with you? Can¡¯t you be more mature?!¡± Song Yan smiled: ¡°You are mature, standing here and talking nonsense to me?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s lips twitched, warning: ¡°Song Yan, don¡¯t speak to me in such a tone.¡± Song Yan felt that she was simply unreasonable, annoying and ridiculous: ¡°What kind of tone do you want to hear? Call you darling to coax you? ¡ªYou just fucking know how to be unreasonable in front of me, right? Xu Qin: ¡°You were the one who said to talk about the problems between the two of us. You were the one who said it. Can you talk about the matter as it stands now and not be so emotional?¡± ¡°I deserve all the fucking hell I¡¯ve suffered.¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyes turned cold, ¡°As far as the matter is concerned, then tell me, from my point of view, why should I reconcile with you? Xu Qin, back then you fucking kicked me like I was a dog! You said¡ª ¡± Suddenly there was no follow-up, and his anger dissipated abruptly, like a collapsed castle in the air. ¡°¡ªOh,¡± he couldn¡¯t go on, all kinds of anger swept away in a moment, leaving only absurdity and comicality. He pursed the corners of his mouth emotionlessly, thinking that standing here at this moment talking about the past was extremely preposterous. ¡°It¡¯s boring to tell you these things.¡± He lit a second cigarette and said in a mocking tone, ¡°You can only see yourself. It¡¯s a waste of breath to say anything to you.¡± Xu Qin sneered: ¡°Then what exactly do you want? You want me to cry and admit I was wrong, and tell you how much I regretted my decision?¡± Song Yan: ¡°No need, you¡¯ve never regretted it.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Yes, I haven¡¯t regretted it. If we were to repeat the past I would still only have this choice. If it were you, wouldn¡¯t you have¡ª¡± ¡°Your choice back then isn¡¯t important,¡± Song Yan interrupted suddenly, ¡°It¡¯s meaningless to say those things.¡± He looked directly into her eyes and asked, ¡°What is your choice now?¡± Xu Qin was stunned, speechless. The two looked at each other taciturn and silent, their eyes straight and forceful. Suddenly, Song Yan smiled absurdly: ¡°I knew it.¡± ¡°I vented my emotions for ages, but none of them got to the point.¡± He leaned against the window sill, glanced out the window, and said, ¡°Telling me about maturity, but you are childishly naive to no end. Now it¡¯s a good chance for us to be acquaintances who nod at each other when we meet, why must you cross the line to pick at things? Huh? You haven¡¯t thought through anything clearly, but was anxious to get to the bottom of things and tear up old wounds. In that case, let it rot there, no need to nod at each other next time we meet.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s face turned pale, Song Yan¡¯s eyes moved from the window to the room, looked at her for a while, and said, ¡°You told me these just because you wanted me to understand your difficulties. Okay, I understand. But understanding doesn¡¯t mean reconciliation. If we reconcile, next time a similar problem arises, you will still make a similar choice without any regrets. Xu Qin, I¡¯m pushing thirty, not old but not very young anymore either. Some wounds, when I was young I took a hit, I was fine, and recovered quickly, but if it happens again at this age, it will be fatal.¡± Song Yan pressed the cigarette on the window sill and crushed it, ¡°There is no right or wrong in matters of the heart; you say you are right, I agree; but, you are right, the path you chose, you can bear it yourself.¡± Xu Qin stood on the spot, motionless, so stiff that she would shatter if touched. Song Yan turned around and walked out. When they passed each other, Xu Qin still refused to let go, and asked softly: ¡°Do you still hate me?¡± ¡°No.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I don¡¯t hate you, but I don¡¯t want to have anything to do with you either.¡± How come it sounded like being hated was better. Would rather it be like that compared to now, with no hate and no love, so indifferent that nothing can be grasped. Xu Qin thought that this moment was the most painful moment in her heart, but the next second, Song Yan, who had walked to the door, stopped. His back faced her, hand grabbed the door handle, and stood there for ten seconds before saying: ¡°I was also at fault.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t give you many of the things that you want. I¡¯m sorry that I don¡¯t have the ability.¡± Song Yan left. Xu Qin stood in the same spot with her hands in her pockets, her fingers clenched ruthlessly pinching her palms, but her expression seemed distracted, her eyes unfocused. She had difficulty breathing, opened her mouth slightly, and tried to take a breath of air with her trembling lips, only to find that her chest was in pain, like she had broken a rib. She stood for a long time before regaining her strength, and looked back at the cigarette butt on the windowsill. She walked over, took out a tissue from her pocket, wrapped the cigarette butt, and threw it into the trash. She left the observation room, passed the lobby, and saw that Li Meng was waiting by the door with the medicine in hand. Song Yan walked towards her, Li Meng greeted him with a smile, and the two left together. Xu Qin kept looking at his back, wondering if he would turn back. But he didn¡¯t. Xu Qin walked to the cleaning room, turned on the faucet, and rubbed her hands vigorously, over and over again, until they turned red and then turned pale. She didn¡¯t feel pain in her hands, but there was an itching feeling on her face. She raised her hand to touch it, it was warm tears. Not like the crocodile tears that were shed in the Di family courtyard last time. These kinds of tears, she couldn¡¯t control. CH 16 Several firefighters went to the hospital¡¯s Infectious Diseases Department to register and file for emergency medication. The specific circumstances would not be determined until the six-week incubation period had passed. Several had no skin trauma on their bodies, ruling out the suspicion of infection; several others had abrasions or cuts of varying degrees on their hands. Especially Jiang Yi, who had a big gash on the back of his hand, had went to help lift the perpetrator out regardless of the pain. No one thought that the wounded had an infectious disease, let alone AIDS. Now that this situation had happened, everyone in the team was a little frustrated. A depressed and discouraged atmosphere enveloped everyone. A group of young boys sat slumped on chairs in the hospital corridor, their legs slack, their heads leaned against the wall and looked at the sky. Song Yan walked by, rubbed each person¡¯s head in turn, and said, ¡°Cheer up.¡± Jiang Yi sat at the end, Song Yan walked up to him, leaned against the wall, and patted his shoulder: ¡°It¡¯s not yet conclusive, it may not be contagious.¡± Li Meng also consoled: ¡°Don¡¯t be too stressed, maybe after six weeks, everyone will be checked and everything will be fine.¡± This kind of comfort is somewhat weak. Yang Chi muttered angrily: ¡°I¡¯m fine, but Jiang Yi¡ª what if he gets infected? This disease can¡¯t be cured.¡± ¡°Damn it, why did this happen?¡± Xiao Ge also scolded. Jiang Yi reassured everyone: ¡°Hasn¡¯t it all been dealt with urgently? Besides, infectious diseases are down to probability, and there is a 50% chance of surviving every 50-50 split.¡± After speaking, he laughed dryly twice, and it was obvious that his heart was not at ease. Everyone was talking all over the place. Song Yan leaned against the wall, remained silent for a while, and said: ¡°If you really are infected, go abroad for treatment. With advanced treatment plans, you can live for more than ten years. After more than ten years of medical progress, perhaps the disease may be cured by then.¡± Yang Chi: ¡°That will cost a lot of money, how can I afford it?¡± Song Yan tilted his head, glancing at the group of young men in front of him, and said: ¡°Any one of you, if anyone is really infected, I will take you to discuss the cause with the perpetrator. No matter how bad it is, even if it is a work-related injury, you have to go to the country, to ask the government for compensation. If something happens to you, I will definitely take care of it.¡± There was complete silence in the corridor for a while, and several young faces stared at Song Yan in unison. Jiang Yi whispered: ¡°It can be like this?¡± ¡°Frankly speaking, this job can take one¡¯s life, and everyone has no complaints or regrets. Even if it ends in sacrifice, I believe you won¡¯t even frown once, but no one¡¯s life here is cheap, understand?¡± The drop of a needle could be heard again. A group of grown men stared at Song Yan. Song Yan: ¡°What are you looking at?¡± Yang Chi gave two thumbs up in admiration: ¡°Ge, your aura is 2.8 meters1.¡± Xiao Ge raised his hand: ¡°3.8 meters.¡± Song Yan was puzzled: ¡°What the hell?¡± Jiang Yi laughed: ¡°Internet language, captain you don¡¯t use the internet, of course you can¡¯t understand it.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Looks like it¡¯s time to confiscate phones.¡± A chorus of wailing: ¡°Nooo!¡± Song Yan: ¡°Alright, let¡¯s go back to the station.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Everyone got up and headed out. Li Meng fell behind and said to Song Yan: ¡°This matter needs to be reported to the higher-ups, and the team members who are at risk of infection will not be able to be on duty during this period.¡± Song Yan: ¡°I know.¡± The team members drove away first. After leaving the hospital building, Li Meng rummaged through her bag for the car keys and said: ¡°I¡¯ll take you home.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°No need, I¡¯ll go by myself.¡± As he spoke, he took the plastic bag containing the medicine from her hand. Li Meng stood in place and observed his expression, then suddenly asked: ¡°Is it her?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t understand in the moment: ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Your ex-girlfriend.¡± Li Meng asked, ¡°That Doctor Xu, is it her?¡± Song Yan narrowed his eyes slightly and looked at her, but didn¡¯t answer immediately, as if he was determining where she got this information from. Li Meng forced a slight smile: ¡°Just now in the observation room, when I was helping you with your clothes, you didn¡¯t react to stop me in time, so I knew your mind wasn¡¯t here. ¨C¨CJust from hearing the sound of the footsteps, you knew it was her coming?¡± Women¡¯s perceptions were often terrifyingly sensitive, and such sensitivity was undoubtedly self-inflicted. Song Yan looked at her and lifted his chin a little, as if he had finally figured it out: ¡°No wonder you took the initiative to move the cigarette in my mouth, heh,¡± he chuckled without a smile, ¡°to annoy her?¡± He really found it so ridiculous, so he smiled again: ¡°Li Meng, are you so childish?¡± Seeing that he was protecting Xu Qin, Li Meng was instantly angry, but also felt sorry for him: ¡°Do you still like her? I really¡ª I¡¯ll say, she even looks down on you, why bother doing this? Are you looking to be abused or something?¡± Song Yan¡¯s complexion changed slightly: ¡°Did Miao tell you?¡± ¡°Does it matter who told me?¡± Li Meng looked at him, her eyes full of grievances and sadness, ¡°You are such a good man, why should you be devalued to nothing by her, and disdained beneath contempt? I was angry when I saw you like that, yes, I am a bad person. I deliberately helped you with your clothes, deliberately moved your cigarette, to provoke her. To let her know that there are many good women who like you¡ª¡± ¡°Li Meng,¡± Song Yan interrupted her, ¡°If you continue talking about this, you will have crossed the line.¡± Li Meng pursed her lips tightly, held her breath in and blushed, staring at Song Yan, wondering if he was angry. She was afraid that he would be angry, but also felt that it was unbearable. After a while, she choked out a sentence: ¡°I¡¯m really going to be pissed off by you, can you be a little more angry? Look at yourself, you have a good appearance and good character, why hang yourself on a tree to be abused. Song Yan, can you fight back a little bit?¡± Song Yan was a little dumbfounded, and felt that the more she said, the less reasonable she was: ¡°Li Meng¡ª¡± ¡°You don¡¯t want to make up with her, do you?¡± Li Meng asked, ¡°Isn¡¯t it uncomfortable to be with someone who looks down on you?¡± Song Yan: ¡°That¡¯s enough.¡± Li Meng was keenly aware of a trace of coolness, and shut her mouth in time. ¡°You care about me, thank you. However¡ª¡± Song Yan¡¯s smile gradually faded, ¡°My relationship with my ex-girlfriend, whether it¡¯s good or bad, it¡¯s not up to others to intervene in the middle, understand?¡± After all, Li Meng was a girl, and thin-skinned. Although his tone was not serious, the meaning of protecting Xu Qin in these words was too obvious, it still made Li Meng blush so thoroughly that her eyes almost turned red. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, let¡¯s go. I know it¡¯s wrong, but I just can¡¯t hold back.¡± Song Yan looked at her for a while, sighed, turned around and took out a cigarette. He lit it, took a puff, and looked back, Li Meng was still standing there with her head drooped. Song Yan asked: ¡°Haven¡¯t I told you before that it¡¯s impossible for the two of us?¡± Li Meng nodded. ¡°You say why do I bother, then why do you bother?¡± Song Yan squinted at her, ¡°So much to say when lecturing others.¡± Li Meng raised her head: ¡°You don¡¯t like me but like someone else, there¡¯s nothing I can do. But can¡¯t you find someone who treats you a little better, so I can be more convinced?¡± Song Yan replied: ¡°I damn well want to convince myself too.¡± He threw the cigarette onto the ground and crushed it vigorously. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Song Yan called out, flagged down two taxis, and left. Sitting in the car, he called Di Miao¡¯s number. ¡°Ge, what are you up to? How come you have time to call me at this hour?¡± Song Yan was in a bad mood, so he got to the point quickly: ¡°Next time you talk nonsense about my past, I¡¯ll break your leg.¡± ¡°What nonsense?¡± Di Miao didn¡¯t remember at all, ¡°Why am I about to break my leg?¡± Song Yan asked: ¡°What did you tell Li Meng? What are you talking about to outsiders?¡± Di Miao said with conviction: ¡°Meng Meng jie is not an outsider, I want her to be my sister-in-law.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Stop talking rubbish.¡± Dii Miao yelled: ¡°Scolding me again. Go talk to my mother, my mother really likes her, and said that she¡¯s set on her as her future niece-in-law. You¡¯re the one who pretended to be deaf.¡± Song Yan¡¯s voice changed: ¡°Di Miao, you¡¯re still creating trouble for me, aren¡¯t you?¡± When Di Miao heard that his tone was off, she immediately corrected herself: ¡°Oh, my mother is the one who said it, it has nothing to do with me.¡± ¡°Aunt likes to make a fuss, why are you going along with her? Do you still want a tablet or not?¡± Di Miao immediately switched sides: ¡°Ge, I will support whoever you like. No one can compare to our closeness.¡± Song Yan was in a bad mood: ¡°Hanging up.¡± ¡°Hey, don¡¯t. It¡¯s rare for you to call.¡± Di Miao said, ¡°What happened today, for you to contact me at this time?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t mention the injury: ¡°I was on duty, and I went to help someone take off a ring.¡± Di Miao breathed out and said with a smile: ¡°That¡¯s good. I really hope that you can help people with such things as retrieving their keys and removing their rings everyday. Please don¡¯t let there be a fire, really, please don¡¯t let there be a fire.¡± Song Yan was taken aback for a moment, and after a while, smiled and said: ¡°I¡¯m really hanging up now.¡± ¡°Ge, be safe and sound everyday.¡± Di Miao yelled loudly from the other end. Song Yan put down the phone, leaned against the seat, looked at the city scenery passing by the car window, and suddenly thought of that year. He was still young back then, and had once wanted to fulfill all of her wishes. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin returned to her office and learned from Xiao Xi that Xiao Dong was going to submit her resignation letter, saying that no matter what the results were after six weeks, she didn¡¯t want to be a nurse anymore. Xiao Nan and Xiao Bei just sighed after hearing those words, and did not comment on her choice. Xiao Xi said: ¡°I hope she will not be infected and switch to a new career in peace.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°It should be fine.¡± ¡°Why?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I checked the data just now. Last year, there were 10 cases of occupational exposure to HIV in our city, and three of the cases were doctors and nurses, a probability of 30%. The conditions for HIV infection are relatively strict, so don¡¯t give up hope. What¡¯s more, if you¡¯ve really been infected, then there¡¯s even less of a reason to resign. This is a work-related injury, and the hospital must take care of it.¡± The three of them remained silent for a while, looking at Xu Qin. Xu Qin was puzzled: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°Doctor Xu, I¡¯ve been with you for so long, and I¡¯ve never seen you talk so much at once. I¡¯m really not used to it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°I¡¯m getting off work first.¡± ¡°Wait a minute,¡± Xiao Xi skipped over and grabbed Xu Qin¡¯s hand, ¡°Doctor Xu, do you know the firefighter who came to get his wounds treated today?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°What?¡± Xiaoxi tilted her head and smiled, infatuated: ¡°I think he¡¯s very handsome. If you know him, please introduce me. It¡¯s winter, so it¡¯s time to find a boyfriend.¡± Stars appeared in Xiao Xi¡¯s eyes, and she pointed her fingers together excitedly, ¡°A firefighter and a little nurse, how fitting.¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°I don¡¯t know him.¡± Xiao Xi looked regretful: ¡°What a pity.¡± When Xu Qin headed out, she heard Xiao Bei behind her giving advice to Xiao Xi: ¡°Xiao Nan has contact with a firefighter in their team, you can ask her.¡± When Xu Qin walked into the underground parking lot, the cold wind gushed in, and she shivered. Only then did she realize that, as Xiao Xi had said, it was going to be winter. Winter in the north came too early, when she saw Song Yan that time, it had still been summer. After a few days of vacation, Xu Qin returned to the Meng family house. Meng Huaijin and Meng Yanchen were attending a party, only Xu Qin and Fu Wenying were present at dinnertime. Fu Wenying naturally asked about her and Jiang Yu¡¯s development, Xu Qin used the excuse that she was busy with work to dodge the question. Fu Wenying sighed lightly: ¡°So busy, but still don¡¯t want to change jobs? Let your father arrange for you to go to a university or research institute, the workload is lighter.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°My current job is fine.¡± ¡°I can only see that your face is getting slimmer.¡± Fu Wenying put a large piece of mutton into her bowl, and ladled her a bowl of corn rib soup, ¡°Drink it all.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°Get married and settle down earlier.¡± Fu Wenying said, ¡°I don¡¯t know what each of you are thinking, Yanchen as well. He¡¯s been set up on so many blind dates, but none of them are worthy of his attention.¡± Xu Qin drank the soup and raised her head: ¡°Mom, I have someone I like.¡± Fu Wenying was picking up some vegetables, paused, and scanned her up and down: ¡°It¡¯s not Jiang Yu?¡± ¡°No.¡± Fu Wenying felt a little regretful, but eased back and asked, ¡°Which family?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Ordinary people.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not allowed.¡± Fu Wenying said, ¡°Qin Qin, don¡¯t force mom to be a villain again, okay?¡± 12.8 meters here is just a virtual quantifier, it¡¯s referring to Song Yan¡¯s aura as overall very domineering and powerful CH 17 After it was finally her turn to take some time off, Xu Qin caught a bad cold. It wasn¡¯t clear if it was due to the cold weather, or a lack of mental energy after a period of intense work, leading to a decline in immune resistance. Xu Qin didn¡¯t want to take any injections or medicine, saying that she could just recover from the cold after suffering a little bit, and it could also improve immunity. She just wanted to get a proper two to three days rest, no waking up, no thinking, just make up for sleep. Fu Wenying said that she was making trouble and asked the family doctor to put an IV in her. Xu Qin closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. When she woke up, it was already dark, the room was dimly lit, and a floor lamp was on next to the sofa. Meng Yanchen was sitting on the sofa reading a book, while Xiao Yixiao was sleeping soundly on his side. Xu Qin looked at Meng Yanchen¡¯s gentle countenance quietly for a long time; when Meng Yanchen raised his eyelids, he met Xu Qin¡¯s gaze. ¡°Awake?¡± ¡°En.¡± ¡°Feel better now?¡± ¡°En.¡± Meng Yanchen came over and sat by the bed: ¡°The nasal congestion is still very heavy.¡± Xu Qin glanced at the IV: ¡°With an injection like this, I¡¯ll be fine by tomorrow.¡± Meng Yanchen saw her hands exposed outside the blankets, and wanted to caress her, but he didn¡¯t. There were flowers and stuffed animals next to the bed. Every time she got sick, Xiao Yixiao would give her a plush toy, but these flowers¡­¡­ ¡°Who sent it?¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Jiang Yu.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°How does he know?¡± ¡°Mom told his mother.¡± Meng Yanchen spoke very briefly, unwelcoming. So what if it was unwelcome. He was also arranged by Fu Wenying to go on a blind date once a week, and he couldn¡¯t refuse. If not the minister¡¯s family, then the political commissar¡¯s family, there was no other choice. Meng Yanchen asked: ¡°Do you like Jiang Yu?¡± Xu Qin stared at the medicine dripping from the infusion tube and said: ¡°I don¡¯t like him, but I don¡¯t hate him either.¡± Meng Yanchen asked: ¡°That means¡ª can you accept getting married to him?¡± Xu Qin stared at the medicine drop without moving her gaze: ¡°I can¡¯t.¡± Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t comment, sat for a while, and said: ¡°I¡¯ll go down and get you some congee.¡± He left, and the room fell into silence. Xu Qin let out a breath, and was about to close her eyes when she heard Xiao Yixiao¡¯s lazy voice: ¡°Since you can accept it, why are you still unhappy?¡± Xu Qin turned her head: ¡°You didn¡¯t sleep?¡± Xiao Yixiao sat up and rubbed his eyes: ¡°You guys woke me up.¡± He didn¡¯t come over, but sat under the floor lamp on the sofa, his face shrouded in a halo, and he complained lightly, ¡°You two, I¡¯ve given up. Can you stop being so miserable and cheer up a little, there¡¯s still plenty of life¡¯s pleasures to enjoy.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t beat around the bush: ¡°Meng Yanchen¨C¨C I accepted it a long time ago. Back then when my mother asked me to change my surname, I understood what she meant. He even tried to persuade me, I already had no other thoughts towards him.¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°Now you changed your surname back to¨C¨C¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t change it for him.¡± Xu Qin interrupted. For a moment, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Xiao Yixiao thought about it for a while, then asked, ¡°Do you really like that guy Song Yan that much?¡± Xu Qin was silent for a while, and said, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± She sniffed, ¡°I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s because I can¡¯t have him, or because life feels too dull¡ª I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Then it seems like you do like him a lot.¡± Xiao Yixiao sighed for a long time, feeling very troubled, ¡°Okay, I, your ge, will come analyze it for you.¡± He came to her bedside, sat on the carpet, hugged his legs and was at eye level with her: ¡°Qin Qin, let me ask you, how much is his monthly salary? ¡ªFireman, let me think, five or six thousand?¡± Xu Qin argued: ¡°He is the captain.¡± ¡°Heh. Okay, let¡¯s give him seven or eight thousand. We are in a first-tier city here. Do you know how much the white-collar workers in the financial district next to your house earn? After four or five years of work, the salary is raised to at least twenty to thirty thousand. A girl raised by an ordinary family, who went to university and studied for a master¡¯s degree, is already outstanding enough. If she falls in love with a firefighter, her parents will still object, believe it or not it will cause a big disturbance. Even if it¡¯s a university student who is not as outstanding, who wants to like a car mechanic, a taxi driver, or a pancake cart seller, can her parents agree? Class is something you don¡¯t usually see, but once you talk about marriage, it¡¯s the most cruel hurdle, understand? Don¡¯t blame your mother, she can see it more clearly than you: love passes by in a flash, reality¡ª¡± ¡°But only when I see him, do I feel alive.¡± Her emotionless interjection made Xiao Yixiao suddenly shut up, as if everything he said just now had been shattered into ashes, completely without strength. ¡°What did you say?¡± Xiao Yixiao asked with a serious face. ¡°Do you understand that feeling? Being choked by your neck and held in the water, but wanting to surface again and take a breath of air.¡± She looked at him, twitched the corners of her mouth quickly and lightly, with ridicule and pity for herself, ¡°That kind of feeling is like¡ª¡ª even though one is already dead, but still wanting to live again.¡± Even if it¡¯s only one time. Like those moments in her youth, to live it one more time. She must. In Xu Qin¡¯s memory, she always made Song Yan angry, but he always forgave her time and time again. Why did she stay with Song Yan in the first place? Maybe it was because she wanted his protection, maybe it was to anger Meng Yanchen, or maybe it was just that she was too stifled. Regardless of which reason, it came down to impure motives. All the ways Song Yan was good to her, she knew it all. Did she care about Song Yan? Yes. Otherwise, she wouldn¡¯t have told him: ¡°My last name is not Meng, I am Xu Qin. Was she happy with Song Yan? Yes. Otherwise, she wouldn¡¯t be able to remember so many things so easily. She ate very little. When she was living with the Meng family, she had a great fear of being driven away if she ate too much. Any pleasures of life gave the implication that it could be taken away. She often ate out with Meng Yanchen, but he was also a self-disciplined individual, she lived under his roof, learned to weigh others¡¯ words and observe their facial expressions; it was inevitable she would be affected. Unlike Song Yan. Once Song Yan accompanied her to eat in the school cafeteria, seeing that she ate too little, he frowned and became unhappy: ¡°Did you turn into a cat or something? Mice eat more than you.¡± Song Yan thought that the food in the cafeteria was not to her liking, so he took her to eat stir-fry, at a local restaurant. After moving to the north for so many years, she had still not eaten any authentic local dishes. She could not be accustomed to it, why was there something so sticky and thick like snot in the scrambled eggs with tomatoes. Song Yan said: ¡°This is called thickening with cornstarch.¡± Xu Qin frowned: ¡°It¡¯s so unpalatable.¡± It was the first time Song Yan heard this way of speaking, and laughed at her: ¡°It¡¯s so unpalatable? Is it ¡®good¡¯1 or ¡®unpalatable¡¯?¡± Xu Qin asked, ¡°How do you guys say it here?¡± Song Yan: ¡°It¡¯s fucking unpalatable.¡± Xu Qin pursed her lips and remained silent. Song Yan: ¡°It¡¯s really unpalatable.¡± Xu Qin then followed up with a somewhat weird accent: ¡°Really~~ unpalatable .¡± The pronunciation of ¡®unpalatable¡¯ almost rolled her tongue into her throat. Song Yan laughed loudly: ¡°Come again¡ª it¡¯s really fucking unpalatable.¡± Xu Qin was silent again. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t swear.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Why can¡¯t I say swear words anymore? ¡ªFollow along. Hurry, hurry, hurry,¡± he pushed her, ¡°Why are you being so argumentative, hurry!¡± Xu Qin was pushed a few times by him, she didn¡¯t know which part was wrong, so she opened her mouth and said, ¡°It¡¯s really fucking unpalatable. This cook is a stupid cunt.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Song Yan was at a loss for words, ¡°How come there¡¯s even self-development now?¡± While speaking, he gestured to cover her mouth, ¡°Girls can say fuck, but not stupid cunt, this word is uncivilized, uncivilized.¡± Xu Qin had half of her face covered by him, and she herself thought it was amusing after she finished speaking, so she pursed her lips and laughed silently, eyes curving. After bickering, she continued to eat a big spoonful, Song Yan frowned: ¡°What are you doing? Don¡¯t eat these tomatoes if they don¡¯t taste good. Spit it out.¡± Xu Qin glared at him with a mouth full of tomatoes. At home, in front of Meng Yanchen, or in front of anyone, she would not dare to make such a move. Song Yan kicked the trash can to her feet: ¡°Spit it out.¡± Xu Qin hesitated for a moment, and finally spat out the big mouthful of tomatoes into the trash can. ¡°Pooh!¡± He really liked her. She knew it all. He was not a good-tempered person, but he never said a single strong word to her; he was also not a patient person, but because he wanted to see her he sat in the classroom day after day; he was not a quiet person, but because she didn¡¯t like to talk from time to time, so he stayed silent with her for an hour, two hours¡­¡­ It was a Friday, and she was supposed to go home after school. She didn¡¯t return home. He took her to roller skating, she couldn¡¯t skate, she was stumbling, he patiently held her hand and guided her slowly. His friends skated by now and then, laughing, whistling, teasing, and he shooed them away like a swarm of bees. Xu Qin skated a few laps and said, ¡°Let go, I know how to skate now.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Are you sure?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I¡¯m sure.¡± Song Yan let go of her hand, but his arm was around her, following her closely. Xu Qin skated by herself, skating faster and faster, she didn¡¯t know how to turn, and she was not proficient in emergency braking skills. At the end of the rink, she got flustered and lost her center of gravity, suddenly falling towards the ground. She thought that she would have a hard fall, but Song Yan quickly stepped forward behind her and hugged her. Holding her in his arms, he hit the ground himself. She was unscathed in his arms, not even hurt from the fall. Song Yan bared his teeth in pain. Xu Qin stared at him blankly, as if she hadn¡¯t had enough time to realize what happened. Song Yan clutched his chest: ¡°What are you still doing in a daze? Hurry up and come massage it.¡± Xu Qin was still staring at him blankly, and after half a second, suddenly burst out laughing. That was the first time Song Yan saw her laugh. She knelt beside him, giggling, and her thin shoulders trembled. But soon, the smile on her face disappeared, and as she looked behind him, her face became deathly still. Song Yan turned around and saw Meng Yanchen. He had seen this person before, every Monday when Xu Qin came to school, he would follow in the car. Standing by the side of the rink, Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t even see Song Yan, didn¡¯t even see the whole world, he looked at Xu Qin, and said: ¡°Qin Qin, time to go home.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head, was silent for a while, and began to take off her roller skates. Song Yan didn¡¯t stop her until Xu Qin got up to leave. Song Yan stood up and asked, ¡°Who is he?¡± Xu Qin whispered, ¡°My brother.¡± Song Yan smiled: ¡°Do you think I¡¯m a fool?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t explain, and walked towards Meng Yanchen with her head down. Seeing that she was about to walk to the edge of the rink, Song Yan, who had stayed still, suddenly skated over quickly and grabbed Xu Qin¡¯s hand: ¡°Don¡¯t go with him.¡± Xu Qin looked back at him. But his action of grabbing Xu Qin irritated Meng Yanchen. The latter warned: ¡°You let her go.¡± Song Yan raised his chin and pulled Xu Qin into his arms: ¡°Is it your place to care about my girlfriend?¡± Meng Yanchen stepped forward and punched Song Yan in the face. Song Yan¡¯s shoes slipped, and when he fell to the ground, he grabbed Meng Yanchen¡¯s collar and dragged him to the ground. As soon as he landed, he turned around quickly and punched him back. The two rolled into a ball and were beating each other so hard that their faces were wounded and their shoes were kicked off. Xu Qin stood aside expressionlessly, as if she didn¡¯t know anyone on either side of the fight. Friends gathered around and finally pulled the two apart. Seeing that Song Yan was going to grab Xu Qin again, Meng Yanchen turned around first and asked Xu Qin, ¡°Who are you going with?¡± Song Yan stopped, looked at Xu Qin, and panted heavily. Xu Qin, who had been in a daze, finally focused her eyes on Song Yan. His friends surrounding them, Song Yan said word by word: ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to go with him. ¨C¨CI¡¯ll take you back.¡± Xu Qin walked to Song Yan¡¯s side and said softly: ¡°Song Yan, I¡¯m going home. I¡¯ll come to play with you tomorrow, okay?¡± Song Yan looked down at her with a cold expression. Xu Qin didn¡¯t explain further, turned and left. In front of all his friends. His friends gathered around the same spot, not daring to speak out. Song Yan didn¡¯t say a word, picked up the roller skates, and walked away. After taking two steps, he suddenly yelled and smashed the shoes on the ground. On the next day, Saturday, Xu Qin came to the skating rink to look for Song Yan. Song Yan ignored her, she just sat on the steps and waited. Song Yan skated back and forth on roller skates like he was crazy, ignoring her. For an hour, two hours, Xu Qin sat motionless on the steps and waited. His friend kindly tried to persuade her: ¡°Go home, you disgraced Yan ge too much yesterday, he won¡¯t reconcile with you. Go back.¡± Xu Qin sat on the sidelines and waited, her eyes following Song Yan back and forth. It was getting dark, and Song Yan had shown no intention of leaving. Tired of playing, he slid to the side bench, unscrewed the bottle and poured water into his mouth to drink. Xu Qin walked over and said: ¡°Song Yan, I¡¯m hungry, let¡¯s go eat.¡± Song Yan gave her a cold look. Xu Qin squatted down at his feet, like a kitten, staring at him with clean black eyes: ¡°Don¡¯t be angry, didn¡¯t I come to look for you?¡± Song Yan gritted his teeth angrily, swore, smashed the water bottle, took off his skates, got up and left. Xu Qin followed immediately, and ran forward to grab his hand, but he let it go rudely in a fit of anger. She followed again, clutching the corner of his t-shirt tightly. This time he didn¡¯t let her go, but his long legs were walking fast, and she was walking beside him keeping pace. During the meal, he didn¡¯t say a word from the beginning to the end, and Xu Qin was also on alert. She felt that he wanted to ask something, and wanted to ask about her relationship with Meng Yanchen. But after the meal was over, he put down his chopsticks and watched her continue to eat slowly without asking any questions. At the end, he suddenly stretched out his hand to rub her head, and only asked softly: ¡°Little girl2, did you miss me?¡± The question he wanted to ask the most, in the end the only question he could ask, the question that he tossed and turned all night wanting to know the answer to, is only this sentence. Little girl, did you miss me? I missed you so much I almost went crazy. At that moment, a hole was torn in her stone-like heart, piercing in pain. He said: I thought you wouldn¡¯t come back. Just because she came back, he forgave her so easily. When they broke up, she said: ¡°I don¡¯t like the dilapidated Wu Fang Street, and I think you will be a good-for-nothing.¡± She thought for sure that he would never forgive her. But after many years, his answer was: ¡°Your original decision is not important.¡± Xu Qin raised her hand to cover her own eyes, if she went to him again without knowing why, it would be bullying him too much. 1 ¡°good¡± and ¡°so¡± share the same Chinese character 2 term of affection CH 18 The next day, Xu Qin slept the entire morning again, felt recovered, and was planning on returning to Zong Lu Gardens after eating lunch at home. Before lunchtime, a guest arrived at the house, Jiang Yu. He said he came to look for Meng Yanchen, but the latter had gone out with Xiao Yixiao. Fu Wenying called Xu Qin downstairs to greet the guests. Jiang Yu looked Xu Qin up and down, saw that she was looking much thinner, and asked: ¡°Have you recovered from your cold?¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°For the most part. Thank you for the flowers you sent.¡± Jiang Yu smiled: ¡°Are you this polite with everyone?¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°It¡¯s always better to be polite.¡± Jiang Yu didn¡¯t comment further, seeing her rubbing her fingers unconsciously, and as there was sawdust on her fingers, asked: ¡°What were you doing before coming downstairs?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Carving some small things.¡± ¡°You even know how to carve?¡± Jiang Yu was obviously a little surprised, ¡°Stone, or¨C¨C¡± ¡°Wood.¡± Xu Qin said. ¡°Can I see some of your work?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s room was very large, with a dedicated living room that was separated from the bedroom area with a screen. Her desk was full of small carvings: small animals, flowers, plants, and people, all lifelike. Jiang Yu inspected them one by one with great interest. Xu Qin sat down in front of the desk, picked up the unfinished carving and a knife, and said: ¡°I won¡¯t entertain you any further.¡± Jiang Yu: ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll help myself.¡± Halfway, Xu Qin suddenly asked: ¡°Do you like me?¡± As she spoke, she carved the wood without raising her head. Jiang Yu, surprised by her question, froze for a moment, thought for a second, and said: ¡°I have a favorable impression of you, but wouldn¡¯t call it like.¡± Xu Qin raised her eyes and asked directly: ¡°Can you accept marrying me?¡± Jiang Yu scratched the back of his head, but he didn¡¯t feel embarrassed: ¡°To be honest, for me to get married, it¡¯ll be someone from a well-matched family, it doesn¡¯t matter who.¡± ¡°I¡¯m envious¨C¨C I can¡¯t do it.¡± Xu Qin smiled, lowering her head to carve, ¡°I have someone I like.¡± Jiang Yu leaned against the desk, picked up a small wooden kitten, and asked: ¡°Your parents object?¡± ¡°En.¡± ¡°Then what are you going to do?¡± Jiang Yu was curious, completely forgetting that the two were on a blind date. This question stumped Xu Qin. It was in this room last night, after Xiao Yixiao finished listening to what she had to say, he raised his head and stared at the ceiling for a long time, and finally sighed: ¡°Then you should just give it a try.¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t try, you won¡¯t be resigned to give up. If you¡¯ve given it a try, even if you end up badly hurt, at least you¡¯ll be able to accept things more wholeheartedly when you come back and follow your mother¡¯s arrangement, won¡¯t you?¡± How could things be as simple as what he said, Song Yan had refused. It was also in this room, on that Saturday many years ago, Meng Yanchen angrily barricaded her at home and forbade her to go meet up with Song Yan. She didn¡¯t yell, didn¡¯t argue, she just repeated the same sentence over and over: ¡°I¡¯m going to go meet up with Song Yan. I promised Song Yan that I was going to play with him today.¡± She knew that Song Yan was angry, very very angry. If she went to look for him, he would forgive her. But if she didn¡¯t go, something bad would happen. Meng Yanchen blocked her, and locked her in at home. She escaped by climbing down a tree through the window on the second floor. But now, it wouldn¡¯t be that easy anymore. Xu Qin would not run to find Song Yan immediately like Xiao Yixiao said. Song Yan would refuse, and the relationship between them would only deteriorate further. Whether she really has thought it through clearly, and what she should do after thinking things through, all required a process. ¡°I used to think too much and do too little; now I don¡¯t want to think so much, and just be myself¨C¨C¡± Xu Qin looked up at Jiang Yu and said, ¡°I want to do things that make me happy, let nature take its course, and see what lies ahead in the future.¡± ¡­¡­ Xu Qin returned to Zong Lu Gardens, sat alone on her balcony and smoked a cigarette. Downstairs, Wu Fang Street was bustling and lively; Zong Lu Gardens was calm and quiet, with withered grass and yellow trees. After she finished smoking a cigarette, she contacted the housekeeper and inquired about all the hydro, gas, heating, and property fees, taking notes in a notebook. She also settled all the fees for phone, car, maintenance, gas, clothing, food, housing, transportation, and daily necessities for the past couple of months. She didn¡¯t have the habit of keeping accounts, so she could only make educated guesses for many of them. After spending more than an hour alone at the coffee table, she finally came up with some rough estimates. It wasn¡¯t too expensive. But if you included everything in the house, everything in the closets and dressers, it would be a headache. Xu Qin sighed. The house didn¡¯t have the heating turned on, so it was freezing cold. Xu Qin sniffed, her cold still not fully recovered, the residual effects were drowsiness, so all she wanted to do was sleep. The weather forecast said that it would be clear tomorrow, so she planned to have a good night¡¯s sleep, recharge her energy, and go for a walk in the forest park tomorrow. Xu Qin returned to the bedroom, closed the door, drew the thick black curtains to block the light, and turned the room into a black box isolated from the outside world. She climbed into bed and pulled up the blankets, covered her head, and closed her eyes without thinking about anything. This sleep was more stable than the one at the Meng family¡¯s house. The siren was blazing. Xu Qin thought she was dreaming, why did she confusedly dream of the fire alarm? But there was a faint smokey smell. This dream felt too real. Xu Qin opened her eyes, the room was pitch black, the sirens were blasting outside. It was real. She immediately turned on the desk lamp, strode to the window, and drew the curtains. The thick smoke outside the window was like a screen, covering the sky and the sun. The upper floors were on fire, just below her home. She quickly put on her clothes, took her keys and phone, walked to the entrance hall, and heard the screeching fire alarm in the hallway. Today was a weekday, and most residents were not at home. Just as she was about to open the door, there was a knock, accompanied by a man¡¯s shout: ¡°Is anyone there?¡± It was Song Yan. Xu Qin was unprepared, her heart skipped a beat. ¡°2701, is there anyone inside?!¡± Xu Qin quickly unscrewed the locks and opened the door. ¡°Hello, we are¡­¡­¡± Song Yan saw Xu Qin¡¯s face, paused for half a second, then continued quickly, ¡°Shi Li Tai fire squadron. 2601 downstairs is on fire. Because it¡¯s a duplex building, the fire on the first floor was too large, and the door couldn¡¯t be broken into for the time being. According to the owner, there is a child at home, we want to go downstairs from your balcony, is that okay?¡± Xu Qin opened the door completely, and stepped aside: ¡°Please come in.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Song Yan glanced at her briefly and then looked away. At such a critical moment, he had no time to form any extra thoughts about her. Song Yan turned around and gestured to the team members behind him. Several firefighters quickly entered the house and rushed to the balcony to set up ropes. Several other firefighters went into Xu Qin¡¯s house to lay down water pipes, Xiao Ge opened the fire hydrant in the corridor. Song Yan: ¡°Call the water company to increase the water pressure in these pipes.¡± Xiao Ge: ¡°Got it.¡± Song Yan carried the fire extinguisher on his back: ¡°Tong Ming, Fan Yang, you two come downstairs with me. The rest wait for instructions.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± Song Yan led the other two team members quickly through the living room. Xu Qin was standing in the middle of the living room, she quickly stepped back to make way for him, and watched him pass by. Xu Qin turned around and saw that he had tied a rope to his body. Without any other protective measures, he stepped on the balcony railing, and went over to the outside of the building. This was the 27th floor. Xu Qin was hit by the flowing cold wind and shivered. She ran to the balcony on the second floor and looked down. The downstairs below was a concrete floor, and the cars parked in the yard looked like small squares. Just looking at it made one¡¯s knees feel weak. Song Yan held the safety rope with both hands, legs kicked against the wall and quickly descended next to a window on the 26th floor. The 26th floor had a sealed balcony made from tempered glass. There were only two small windows that could be opened from either side, however due to heavy smog a few days ago, the windows had been closed. Song Yan clenched the rope tightly with one hand, quickly wrapping his wrist around the rope a couple of times. With his other hand, he retrieved the safety hammer from his body and smashed the glass with it. He smashed several times, put away the hammer, held the rope with both hands, stepped against the glass, bent his knees, and kicked the glass hard. He bounced off the glass into the air, then accelerated back down, kicking the glass again with both feet, making a bang. After going back and forth four or five times, he swung in the air like a pendulum, slamming into the glass again and again. Xu Qin kept a close eye on the rope, for fear that it wouldn¡¯t be able to sustain the force and break. If you fell here, you would die on the spot. With a bang, Song Yan kicked the window open, and his whole body broke through the glass and rolled into the room. A plume of thick smoke shot out into the sky. The rope also flew out quickly, empty, the person nowhere to be seen. The other two also followed suit. Xu Qin was terrified, she took a deep breath in the cold wind and was instantly choked to tears by the thick smoke. Song Yan entered the scene of the fire and quickly found the bedroom. While putting out the fire with a fire extinguisher, he searched the closet and the bottom of the bed, but didn¡¯t find any trace of the child, even searched the bathroom. The entire second floor was empty. On the balcony of Xu Qin¡¯s house, Yang Chi passed the water hose to Tong Ming downstairs. Xiao Ge opened the locks, the tap water quickly filled the hose and rushed into the scene of the fire. Song Yan ordered Tong Ming to stay on the second floor to put out the fire, then told Xiao Ge and Li Cheng to come down to support Tong Ming, while he and Fan Yang went down to the first floor. The fire was raging in the stairwell from the second floor to the first floor, Song Yan took the fire extinguisher to clear the way. Just as he walked up the steps, the floor beneath him gave way; the wooden boards had burned through and he fell down to the first floor. Fan Yang shouted: ¡°Captain! Are you okay?¡± Song Yan was wearing heavy protective gear, he got up with some difficulty and made a gesture that he was fine. Fan Yang followed and jumped into the flames. The interior decorations of this house were all made of flammable materials. The wooden floors, tables, chairs, wine cabinets, carpets, curtains, and wallpaper were all on fire. The toxic gas surged with the black smoke, which was pungent and tearing. The flames and smoke singed their throats. Song Yan searched the bedroom, bathroom, and utility room downstairs, even the burning bed boards and bookcases, but still couldn¡¯t find the child. The heat from the fire surged, the air crackled. Fan Yang came out of the kitchen and shouted loudly: ¡°The fire started from the kitchen stove. Probably the kid was bored at home by himself, and played with matches that set the house on fire.¡± Song Yan came out of the bathroom, there was still no sign of the child. Just as he was leaving, the door panel behind him burned through and fell, hitting his head. Song Yan opened the door behind him and walked towards the living room. Fan Yang: ¡°The fire on the first floor is too big. Let¡¯s go upstairs and flush water down from above to put out the fire.¡± Song Yan turned over the sofa: ¡°Find the child first.¡± As he was talking, he lifted the sofa, and the flames started to burn up the ceiling. Song Yan backed away quickly: ¡°Fuck.¡± Fan Yang: ¡°Could the kid have hid on the second floor? The fire started in the kitchen on the first floor, so it¡¯s reasonable that he could have run upstairs. Let¡¯s go up first, we can¡¯t stay here, the temperature is too high.¡± The two of them were already roasting at high temperatures, and wearing heavy firefighter suits, they had already been sweating a lot. Song Yan thought for a second, and felt that what Fan Yang said made sense. Returning to the stairway, Fan Yang was about to call their teammates upstairs, when Song Yan suddenly stopped: ¡°No, the stairs here were also an ignition point.¡± There were already ashes at the bottom of the stairs, ¡°That kid didn¡¯t have any way of going upstairs, he¡¯s still on the first floor.¡± Song Yan turned back towards the scene of the fire and scanned around. He wondered where the child could have hid, he had checked everywhere already. The flames filled the whole room, the first floor was completely blackened, the leaves on the balcony were even being dried by the flames. Song Yan was taken aback for a moment, then strode towards the first floor balcony. There were two or three money trees planted there. Song Yan pushed aside the dried branches, and saw a little boy curled up behind a porcelain pot, falling unconscious. Song Yan quickly protected the child in his arms, rushed across the scene of the fire, and went back up to the second floor using the ropes handed down by his team members. The fire on the second floor had just been extinguished, Xiao Ge and the others took the water hose down to the first floor to continue putting it out. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin stood on the second floor balcony of her house and looked down. There was thick smoke billowing below. The firefighters went inside one by one, but no one came out even after a long time. The cold wind and thick smoke alternated, Xu Qin shivered and sweat. At a certain moment, a hand reached out and grabbed the safety rope, wrapping around several times. Song Yan¡¯s voice was hoarse, and he shouted: ¡°Pull!¡± Everyone on the balcony pulled the safety rope together, and Song Yan rose from the billowing smoke with a child in his arms. Xu Qin looked at him and suddenly knew that she was in the wrong. He was such a good person. Song Yan looked up, and past the faces of his team members, he saw Xu Qin¡¯s face higher up, pale and startled. Half of her upper body leaned out of the railing, her gaze impatient and tense, with a trace of inexplicable pain. Their eyes met, the emotions in her gaze were completely wiped clean, and she looked at him straightforwardly. Song Yan also looked at her, with a look of understanding, she immediately retracted her body, and quickly ran to the stairs leading to the first floor. CH 19 Song Yan was pulled up by his teammates. He was covered in soot and sweat, hugging the child, he shouted: ¡°Xu Qin!¡± Xu Qin had already hurried downstairs, rushing over: ¡°Give me the child.¡± Song Yan handed the unconscious child to Xu Qin, then took the water bottle from Suo Jun, gulping a few mouthfuls of water. Xu Qin quickly did a check up on the child, and concluded that he did not suffocate and was still breathing weakly, but passed out from the smoke. She loosened the child¡¯s shirt, wet a towel and wiped his cheeks and chest, then quickly picked up the child and walked towards the exit. When she got to the door, she turned around and asked: ¡°Is the elevator working?¡± Suo Jun said: ¡°It¡¯s safe.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Qin picked up the child and went downstairs. An ambulance was parked downstairs, it had arrived at the scene together with the fire department. Xu Qin handed over the child to a colleague, and the ambulance left the scene quickly. When Xu Qin returned to her home, the firefighters were walking out one after another, some of them were hunched over on the ground and rolling up the water hoses. Yang Chi passed by her and smiled: ¡°Thanks, jie.¡± Xu Qin asked: ¡°All good?¡± Yang Chi: ¡°The fire is extinguished, and the door downstairs has been opened now. We¡¯ll go downstairs and check everything again.¡± Xiao Ge also thanked her: ¡°Good thing we borrowed your balcony, otherwise it wouldn¡¯t have been so fast.¡± As he talked, he wiped the sweat from his face. Seeing that his palms were red, Xu Qin said: ¡°If anyone is injured, I can take a look. I have a first aid kit at home.¡± Xiao Ge was taken aback for a moment, looked at his hands, and waved them: ¡°It¡¯s alright, we¡¯ll go finish our work first.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t try to keep him. A group of young men swarmed out. Song Yan came out of the living room and passed Xu Qin at the entrance. ¡°Thank you.¡± Song Yan said. Xu Qin shook her head. The whole team quickly evacuated. The room that was bustling and extremely tense a moment ago became empty again in an instant. Xu Qin stood at the entrance and glanced at the huge living room. All the people had left, leaving a room full of water stains, black ash and blotches, in complete disorder. The sun shone on the water-drenched and dirty floor, reflecting a dazzling black light. ¡­¡­ Song Yan and the others went downstairs to check the scene of the extinguished fire, found the origin point, and contacted the property manager and the owner. The owner was still rushing to get back. Song Yan left two team members to deal with the aftermath, and the rest retreated. Everyone packed up their things and prepared to withdraw. When they got to the elevator, Song Yan ordered: ¡°Yang Chi, accompany the instructor to inspect the equipment, and Xiao Ge will write a report after returning.¡± After giving the instructions, he said, ¡°I will stay here and leave later.¡± Yang Chi didn¡¯t react in time: ¡°It¡¯s enough to leave Xiao Fei and Lao Jiang here, captain, go back early and get some rest.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°I¡¯ll go upstairs.¡± Yang Chi wondered: ¡°2701? To do what?¡± Song Yan: ¡°If you mess up someone¡¯s house, you need to help clean it up.¡± Yang Chi: ¡°That¡¯s true, ge, I¡¯ll go with you, I¡¯ll help you clean up.¡± Song Yan: ¡°No need, one person is enough, more will be trouble.¡± Yang Chi: ¡°How will it be more trouble, ge, I get things done quickly¡­¡­¡± Suo Jun stretched out a hand from the elevator, grabbed Yang Chi by the collar and dragged him in, pressing the door close button with his other hand, and raised his chin to Song Yan: ¡°Go.¡± Song Yan turned and ran into the stairwell, taking a few strides up the stairs. When he arrived at Xu Qin¡¯s house, the door was open, and the sound of running water came from inside. Song Yan walked into the entrance hall and looked around. The living room was in a mess and there was no one there. Xu Qin came out of the bathroom with a towel in her hand. Seeing Song Yan, she was a little surprised, and asked: ¡°Did you lose something?¡± ¡°No.¡± Song Yan looked at the floor, ¡°I borrowed your balcony, I¡¯ll clean up the house before leaving.¡± Xu Qin did not refuse. Song Yan took off his thick protective clothing and put it at the entrance, then took off his shoes and walked in, heading straight for the bathroom, glanced around, and asked: ¡°Where is the mop?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Don¡¯t have one.¡± Song Yan looked back at her, and his eyes fell: ¡°Using a towel?¡± Xu Qin weighed the towel in her hand and coughed: ¡°This is the only thing I have.¡± Song Yan stared at her speechlessly for a while, then shook his head, so speechless that it was almost funny: ¡°This is useless. Wait here.¡± After he finished speaking, he walked out. Xu Qin asked: ¡°Where are you going?¡± Song Yan was bending over to put on his shoes, turned to look at her: ¡°Going downstairs to buy a mop.¡± He straightened up and asked, ¡°Is there anything else your house is missing, I¡¯ll buy it all together for you. Broom, detergent, rags¡­¡­¡± Halfway through, he stopped to observe her expression for a moment, and asked, ¡°Don¡¯t have anything?¡± Xu Qin clenched one hand into a fist, put it next to her mouth and coughed: ¡°Yeah.¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡± The man turned and left. Ding, the sound of the elevator going down came from the corridor. Xu Qin walked to the entranceway, peeked outside, and went down. She stepped back to look at the firefighter jacket on the ground. It was huge and very thick. The clothes were dirty on the outside and reeked of sweat inside. Xu Qin went to the balcony and looked down. After waiting for a while, she saw Song Yan running out of the corridor, and quickly disappearing around the corner. It was the first day of November, the ginkgo leaves downstairs were a sheet of golden yellow. Autumn was bleak, and the cold wind blew across the balcony. Xu Qin retreated into the house. Not long after, Song Yan came back with a mop in one hand and a large plastic bag in the other. ¡°This much?¡± Xu Qin looked over and saw that there were several colorful absorbent rags, as well as ordinary rags, as well as detergents, scouring balls, brushes, etc.; he also bought several rolls of garbage bags. Xu Qin frowned slightly, and asked, ¡°Why buy so much?¡± Song Yan was rolling up his sleeves: ¡°You¡¯re not embarrassed to ask?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡± Song Yan snorted: ¡°This looks more homey now.¡± After speaking, he took the mop into the bathroom, and turned on the tap to rinse. The sound of water burst forth. Xu Qin stood still for a while, then took out a large rag from the plastic bag, and followed him into the bathroom. Song Yan turned on the faucet, repeatedly swiped the mop, wetting the cloth strips; Xu Qin went to the sink and scrubbed the dry rag. Two sources of water sounded. Song Yan lowered his head and twisted the mop, without looking sideways, as if he didn¡¯t care, asked: ¡°What¡¯s wrong with your throat?¡± ¡°I have a cold.¡± Xu Qin replied. ¡°En.¡± There were sounds of rushing water, after a long while, Song Yan asked again, ¡°Are you ready?¡± Xu Qin nodded: ¡°Ready.¡± ¡°En.¡± He turned off the tap, drained the water from the mop, and went out. Xu Qin wrung out the rag and followed him out. Song Yan was mopping the floor on the balcony. He had long limbs and lots of strength. After pushing back and forth twice, he had wiped the huge balcony floor clean. If it was a cleaning lady, she would have to tidy up and down for a long time. Xu Qin took the rag and walked over to wipe the balcony railing. Song Yan had just turned around and pushed the mop out to wipe the corner, and was about to pull back when Xu Qin bumped into him head-on, tripped on the mop cloth, and slipped. Sharp-sighted and deft, Song Yan grabbed Xu Qin¡¯s arm vigorously and pulled her back. Xu Qin hurriedly stood still, her heart pounding. Song Yan let go of her: ¡°Be careful.¡± He continued to mop the floor. ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin released a breath, and walked to the railing to wipe off the water stains and black ash. There was a strong gust of wind on the tall building, which made her shiver. Song Yan suddenly reached out, grabbed the rag from her hand, and confiscated it. ¡°Go in, it¡¯s windy outside.¡± He was expressionless when he said this. Xu Qin: ¡°I can¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯m not responsible if your cold gets worse.¡± Song Yan said. Xu Qin then went back indoors. Behind her, Song Yan closed the floor-to-ceiling windows. Originally, the air was circulating and the north wind was blowing through. Now that the door was closed, there was a sudden warmth in the room. Song Yan was cleaning the railing outside, it was dirty from being stepped on by firefighters. Seeing that his rag was dirty, Xu Qin took a new one out of the plastic bag, wet it under the faucet, returned to the door, and opened a sliver to change the rag for him. He handed back the dirty ones and took away the clean ones. She took the dirty ones to rinse out. He was very nimble in his work, very focused on cleaning, and he quickly finished cleaning up the balcony. Song Yan returned indoors, closed the door, went to the bathroom to rinse out the mop, and returned to continue cleaning the living room full of footprints and water stains. When sweeping next to the sofa, the mop accidentally hit the coffee table, and a small card fell off. Song Yan picked it up, it was Xu Qin¡¯s ID card. He lingered on it for a second, then put it back where it was. Xu Qin was hesitant to sit still, and boiled a pot of water with the new kettle. Time passed slowly, everything felt natural. Neither of the two talked to each other, the room was quiet, there was only the sound of the mop sliding across the floor, mixed with the gurgle of the kettle. When Xu Qin was in the open kitchen and turned her head, the mop just happened to clean a path among the water stains in the living room, and the sunlight reflected on it, shining brightly. She narrowed her eyes inadvertently, and saw Song Yan¡¯s figure blending into the golden autumn sun. She stood here making tea while he mopped the floor at home. At that moment, the memory seemed to freeze. Looking back, this was a very quiet autumn afternoon, a very ordinary day, like every day in the past. When the water boiled, Song Yan had already finished cleaning the living room, washed all the mops and rags, and placed them neatly in the bathroom. ¡°Have a cup of tea before leaving.¡± Xu Qin poured boiling water into a glass, the tea leaves rolled up and down, and a faint green color emerged from the tea. She looked up at him, ¡°You sweat a lot, need to replenish water.¡± She filled three glasses of water one by one and placed them in a row on the counter. The water dispenser was on the side, useless. Xu Qin said: ¡°The water is a bit hot, please sit first.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°I¡¯m dirty, so I won¡¯t sit.¡± Xu Qin felt a little awkward, but he was unusually open-minded. His trousers were full of stains, he had been rolling in the fire, no part of him was clean. Standing in the gleaming shiny room that had just been cleaned, it was particularly noticeable. Xu Qin moved her eyes away and pointed to the high stool by the bar: ¡°Sit on this, I¡¯ll just wipe clean later.¡± Song Yan thought for a second, then went over and sat down. The three cups of water were full of steam, and wouldn¡¯t turn into lukewarm water within only a second. The two waited in silence. Xu Qin asked: ¡°Are you injured? Let me take care of it for you.¡± Song Yan glanced at his hands: ¡°No.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°How about your wrist, the skin may have been rubbed raw.¡± Song Yan paused for a second and looked up at her. He didn¡¯t even notice that the skin on his wrist was broken¡ªit was caused by wrapping it around the safety rope. With a calm expression, Xu Qin went to fetch the medicine box. Song Yan stretched out his hand on the table, she cleaned him up briefly, applied medicine, and suddenly asked: ¡°Are you busy with work?¡± ¡°It¡¯s alright.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°There are things every day, big and small.¡± After a pause, he said, ¡°I¡¯m not as busy as you.¡± ¡°It was my turn to come to the emergency department on a shift, otherwise I wouldn¡¯t be so busy, and,¡± Xu Qin glanced at him, ¡°our job is not as dangerous as yours.¡± He snorted faintly: ¡°I think your work is dangerous enough.¡± Xu Qin understood that he was referring to the needle. She wrapped gauze around his wrist: ¡°Done.¡± The vapor in the three glasses of water was less, and dense water droplets condensed on the mouth of the glass. Song Yan picked it up and drank it down in one gulp. After drinking all three glasses, he wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and said: ¡°Thanks.¡± Without much delay, he got up to leave, and she followed to see him off. Song Yan walked to the entranceway and picked up the firefighting suit off the floor. There was a small spot of stains on the ground, he said: ¡°Can you clean it yourself?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Good.¡± He went out. Xu Qin stood by the door, watching Song Yan leave, a voice suddenly sounded in the bottom of her heart. Let¡¯s be together, okay? The elevator dinged and the door opened. Song Yan walked into the elevator, turned around and pressed the floor, and then looked directly at her. Xu Qin also looked at him, Song Yan, let¡¯s be together, okay? But ultimately she didn¡¯t say anything, and the elevator door closed, blocking their sight. The corridor was quiet again, and the fire hydrant was whole and brand new, as if nothing had happened. ¡­¡­ ¡­¡­ Xu Qin closed the door, looked at the small puddle of stains at the entrance, and then at the shiny and clean living room, suddenly feeling that the house was so quiet she couldn¡¯t breathe. She clenched her hands tightly, walked to the sofa, and sat down. She sat upright and squeezed her hands tighter and tighter. Suddenly, she stood up abruptly, and ran to pull open the French windows, a strong wind rushed in. She threw herself on the window sill railing, and shouted towards the people downstairs: ¡°Song Yan!¡± A string of birds were startled in the golden ginkgo forest. On the bleak autumn path, the man in the fire suit stopped and looked up. Xu Qin couldn¡¯t see his expression clearly, and was about to open her mouth to shout something at him, but the cold wind came, like a big hand strangling her throat. She stopped and took a deep breath: ¡°You are on vacation tomorrow, aren¡¯t you?¡± One second, two seconds, the world was silent. In the next second, Song Yan turned and left. CH 20 On the second day of November, the weather was exceptionally good, with warm sunshine and blue skies. The smog of the previous day was dispersed by the north wind, and the morning air was clear and clean, but the temperature was lower. Xu Qin tugged on the scarf around her neck, walked quickly into Wu Fang Street, and saw the high blue sky, low red walls, and large pieces of steam floating in the streets and alleys, a burst of steamed buns. The shops were not yet open, and the rows of wooden doors were closed, the doors were covered with colorful graffiti, unsure which art school students in the neighborhood did it. Colorful, from anime to antique, from characters to scenery, like an old woman¡¯s face painted with youthful makeup. In any block, the first to wake up were breakfast shops and stalls. Fried, steamed, boiled and stewed, all kinds of aromas drilled into people¡¯s noses. Small white-collar workers living in Wu Fang Street huddled in front of the stalls to buy youtiao and soy milk, and some sat in the shop while swiping their mobile phones and drinking soup. ÓÍÌõ y¨®u ti¨¢o ¨C deep-fried breadstick This was how an ordinary person¡¯s day began. In the past, Xu Qin never paid attention to these people, they were like the background of this city, like the screws of a machine, one more and one less, just like the leaves on the tree added or decreased by one, insignificant. But today, Xu Qin carefully observed each and every one of them. A couple bought two portions of porridge in front of the stall, packed them and kissed each other: ¡°See you in the evening.¡± ¡°Good work.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± The two separated, turned and walked in different directions. The girl ran past Xu Qin, with a vigorous smile on her face. The boy walked a few meters away, looked back at the girl¡¯s back, smiled, and continued to hurry. Another girl was queuing up to buy breakfast while taking her mobile phone to report to her boss, when she put it down, she let out a long sigh of relief and looked very satisfied. In the store, there were men who ate their noodles while scratching the plate, gobbled it up, one couldn¡¯t tell whether this noodle was too delicious or they were in a hurry. There were also people carrying briefcases, humming songs and chewing youtiao, walking briskly past Xu Qin. Of course, there were also black under eye circles to see that he didn¡¯t sleep well last night, and he called while running: ¡°Eh, master, I¡¯ll be at the intersection soon, you wait for me for a minute. ¡ªI saw your car.¡± The big world was not only the glamorous beauty on the other side of Zong Lu Gardens. There were also small bitters and sweetness after mediocrity and ordinary. Xu Qin turned a corner into the alley, and golden ginkgo leaves paved the road, leading her around to Zhai¡¯s house, and the main gate was wide open. Uncle Zhai was a person who loved to get up early, and she didn¡¯t know if she would bump into him. Xu Qin walked lightly over the threshold, bypassed the shadow wall, passed through the cloister, and entered the courtyard. It was quiet, and the morning sun shone on all kinds of carpentry. The birdcage in the tree was gone, uncle had gone out for bird walking. The door of the west wing was concealed, indicating that the people living inside had woken up. Xu Qin walked over, looked inside through the crack in the door, and could only glimpse the wooden wardrobe, the cabinet door was half open, and there were several men¡¯s sweaters and trousers hanging inside. She lightly knocked on the door panel, no one answered. She reached out and poked again, and the door opened. At first glance in the room, the deepest impression was that it was clean and tidy, with a certain discipline. standard military-style tofu blocks quilt The wooden floor was clean and dust-free. On the blue-gray bed, the sheets were smoothed without a trace of wrinkles, and the quilt was folded into standard military-style tofu blocks. The dark red cork sofa and coffee table were arranged in a regular manner, and the chair was also neatly placed in front of the desk, on which stood a row of books, such as flammable materials illustrating the world fire case. The clothes in the wardrobe were also hung straight and orderly, like you could smell the smell of laundry detergent and the sun; In the wooden frame at the bottom of the cabinet, a pair of men¡¯s socks were rolled up and neatly arranged. Sunlight shone through the wooden windows, which were clear, the air was fresh, and there was a faint smell of pine. Everything showed that this was a self-disciplined man¡¯s house, clean and sexy. Xu Qin stood in place for a few seconds, remembering that Song Yan¡¯s house was not like this before. At that time, he was a typical teenager, with a quilt on the bed, dirty clothes piled up on the sofa, and comic books on the coffee table¡­ Still wandering, the door of the small room behind her opened, the man¡¯s footsteps stepped into the corridor, Xu Qin didn¡¯t have time to turn back, Song Yan was already standing behind her, and a casual voice came from the back of her head: ¡°Here again?¡± Xu Qin turned around and saw the man¡¯s clear and hard collarbone, and she quickly took a step back. Song Yan had wet hair, wrapped in a bathrobe, just washed his hair and came out of the bath, his whole face looked unusually clean and handsome, but his eyebrows were slightly wrinkled, his eyes not polite, and his chin pointed to the side: ¡°Move.¡± Xu Qin moved, Song Yan entered the house sideways, and the door closed, leaving Xu Qin in the corridor. The sun was shining, and the ginkgo trees in the corner of the courtyard were golden. Xu Qin looked at the leaves on the treetops and pondered his unfriendly attitude just now, which was the same as yesterday in her home. At the slightest remorse or love in her eyes, he would softened. There was a slight hesitation and uncertainty in her eyes, and he was cold. It was really poisonous enough, and she could see her true heart and bad roots clearly. Not long after, the door opened, Song Yan came out, changed into a sweater jacket and trousers, saw that Xu Qin was still outside, and asked, ¡°Looking for me?¡± This was nonsense. Xu Qin: ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Helping you clean the house yesterday was an official matter, and our execution of the work caused inconvenience to the citizens, so we should clean up the scene.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t feel anything at all: ¡°I know.¡± Song Yan: ¡°You still look for me?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yan: ¡°What for?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Thank you.¡± Song Yan poked through: ¡°How long are you going to keep using that excuse?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s face did not change color: ¡°Until you accept it.¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡± Xu Qin¡¯s expression was calm, and her tone was also light: ¡°I don¡¯t like to owe favors to people, you saved me several times, and I have to pay it back.¡± Song Yan: ¡°How to return the favor?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I¡¯ll invite you to dinner.¡± Song Yan seemed to see through her trick and snorted a laugh. Xu Qin was plain, and her face was not red. Song Yan didn¡¯t answer for a while, took out the cigarette from his jacket pocket, and just put it in his mouth, Xu Qin opened her mouth in time: ¡°Smoking early in the morning is not good for your health.¡± Song Yan lowered his head to light a cigarette and raised his eyes to look at her. Xu Qin said: ¡°Advice from doctors.¡± Song Yan took this advice as a wind, lit a cigarette, and asked, ¡°Where did you get my work schedule?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Xiao Yixiao, his cousin.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Ah.¡± He stopped talking, just smoked. Xu Qin stood for a while and said, ¡°Let¡¯s eat.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°No.¡± Turning around and entering the house, ¡°Leave.¡± As soon as he stepped into the threshold and looked back again, Xu Qin still stood in place. Song Yan said, ¡°Still not leaving?¡± Xu Qin still said that sentence: ¡°I want to invite you to dinner.¡± He squinted at her for a long moment and snorted, ¡°Then you just stand here.¡± Before the words fell, the door of the east wing opened, Zhai Miao was carrying her bag and preparing to go to school, and as soon as she went out, she saw Xu Qin standing in front of her. ¡°I thought I heard someone babbling early in the morning, why are you here again?¡± Zhai Miao strode across the courtyard, ¡°Told you to stop pestering my cousin, you don¡¯t understand. Why are you so annoying?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t make a sound. Song Yan glanced at her, then at Zhai Miao, and did not speak for a while. But when Zhai Miao was about to speak again, Song Yan suddenly opened his mouth and forbade: ¡°Zhai Miao.¡± Zhai Miao didn¡¯t care: ¡°So annoying, can¡¯t get rid of you, got rid of you last time and you came back today. Why is it so cheeky?¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyebrows frowned: ¡°Okay. Go to school, what¡¯s the fuss about here?¡± Zhai Miao was not convinced: ¡°Hmph, then I¡¯ll tell my mother¡­¡± Song Yan strode forward, grabbed Zhai Miao and walked out the door, Zhai Miao shouted, the word ¡°mother¡± did not make a sound, and was covered by Song Yan and walked out the door. Song Yan threw her down in the alley: ¡°Still so fiery?¡± Zhai Miao trembled in the down jacket, exasperated: ¡°Ge! I¡¯m afraid that you will be soft-hearted, I worry that you are dying. The last time she came looking for you, I bombarded her, but I didn¡¯t expect her to dare to come again, just like herbal plaster¡­¡± Song Yan¡¯s face changed slightly: ¡°Okay, got it, go to school.¡± Zhai Miao still refused, and wanted to go to back the house: ¡°You¡¯ll be too soft, I¡¯ll help you bombard her¡ª¡± Song Yan grabbed her by the collar and pulled her back: ¡°Enough trouble.¡± ¡°Ge, I¡¯ll talk to you¡ª¡± Song Yan said coldly: ¡°Can¡¯t you go?¡± Zhai Miao puffed out her mouth. Song Yan: ¡°One, two, three¡ª¡± As soon as he raised his hand, Zhai Miao covered the back of her head and ran away with a puff of smoke, shouting at him: ¡°I will come back in the evening anyway!¡± Song Yan watched her disappear around the corner of the alley, the red wall of the courtyard and the gray bricks above, the sky in late autumn was high and blue. With a gloomy face, he took a hard puff of his cigarette, threw the cigarette butt on the ground and crushed it with his feet, and turned back up the steps to enter the gate. Xu Qin stood at the vermilion gate, her small face was pale and her black eyes were looking at him. Song Yan stepped over the threshold and didn¡¯t look at her: ¡°Leave.¡± Xu Qin turned around, still the same sentence: ¡°I want to invite you to dinner.¡± Song Yan went down the steps and didn¡¯t turn his head: ¡°No.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°Okay, then you invite me to dinner.¡± As soon as Song Yan got down the steps, he was stunned by her words, his eyebrows trembled, and he looked back at her incredulously: ¡°Why would I?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Yesterday I helped your entire fire brigade, you are the captain, shouldn¡¯t you take the lead to thank me? But I waited at home for a day, no flower basket, no fruit, no pennant, not even a phone call to say thank you. I feel that I, a good citizen, have been in vain, how can you fire officers and soldiers do this?¡± When she said this, her face was extremely indifferent, and her tone was also very reasonable, as if if Song Yan refused, he would be derelict in his duty, that is, he would not respect the good citizens who abide by the law and discipline, and regarded the selfless assistance of the citizens as grass and mustard. Song Yan¡¯s jaw tightened, looked at her for several seconds, and asked, ¡°Xu Qin.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Huh?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Do the people around you know your appearance?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes thought for a while, looked at him again, and asked seriously: ¡°What does it look like?¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡± He seemed to be fine, and finally nodded. ¡°Okay, you are the ancestor,¡± he said while going outside. Xu Qin put her hands in her coat pockets and followed without hesitation. ¡­¡­ When walking up the main street of Wu Fang Street, the sun was shining from the eaves on the west side to the blue stone road. The white-collar workers who got up early had long disappeared, and migrant workers and delivery men came and went. Shops were opening one after another. The proprietress of the spice shop pushed open the door panel, fine dust was in the autumn sun, the proprietress looked back at Song Yan and greeted: ¡°Xiao Song, day off today?¡± Song Yan smiled back: ¡°Yes.¡± Here were all the old neighbors, greeting one by one, Song Yan answered one by one, Xu Qin glanced at him, and saw that he had a hearty smile, his eyes were crooked, and he looked good like the sun. She remembered that the last time she saw him smile like this was many years ago. And the smile at the moment was not for her. The proprietress was still gossiping: ¡°Xiao Song, our family pickled dried fish with sauce, and asked Zhai Miao to go to the house to get it after school.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Thank you Aunt Zhang.¡± The proprietress smiled: ¡°You¡¯re welcome-¡± The eyes glanced beside him, and looked, ¡°Oh, this is Meng Qin, right?¡± Xu Qin replied: ¡°Xu Qin, surname Xu.¡± ¡°Ooh.¡± The others didn¡¯t care, nor did they worry, but they were more curious about how the two came together this early morning. But there were not many words on her lips, and she was busy opening shop. They were also in and out of Wu Fang Street that year, he put his arm around her shoulders or took her hand. Unlike now, passers-by hurriedly passed between the two at a distance, and they would not notice that the two were together. No one spoke, and one wondered if anyone remembered that year. The street was still that street, and the people were still that group of people. The children who were still close together back then were now moving forward silently. Even Song Yan became exceptionally silent. Walking to the breakfast shop and stopping, Song Yan turned around and asked Xu Qin: ¡°What do you want to eat?¡± ¶¹¸¯ÄÔ d¨°u fu n¨£o ¨C tofu pudding ºìÓÍÃæ h¨®ng y¨®u mi¨¤n ¨C chili oil noodles Xu Qin said: ¡°Tofu pudding, chili oil noodles.¡± It¡¯s a specialty of this shop, and he used to eat here with her. Song Yan paused for a moment, as if empty, before returning to his senses and saying to the boss: ¡°I want two bowls each, plus a basket of shumai.¡± ÉÕÂó sh¨¡o m¨¤i ¨C shumai (shao mai) steamed dumpling ÂéÍÅ m¨¢ tu¨¢n ¨C sesame dumpling Turning to enter the door, Xu Qin said: ¡°I also want sesame dumpling, youtiao, and soy milk.¡± Song Yan paused, glanced at her sideways, and was a little suspicious of her food intake, but didn¡¯t say anything, and looked back at the boss again: ¡°Sesame dumpling, youtiao, and soy milk.¡± The interior of the shop was shabby, with walls and floors made of wood, sometimes oily, and not very clean. The ceiling was low, not much taller than Song Yan. As soon as the two sat down, the clerk brought two bowls of tofu pudding, heaped with daylily gravy, a thick layer. When Song Yan brought Xu Qin here for the first time to eat tofu pudding, Xu Qin¡¯s eyes widened: ¡°What is this thick thing? Tofu pudding needs sugar, how to eat this?¡± Song Yan raised his eyebrows: ¡°Tofu pudding needs sugar? Your brain is sick.¡± The two argued for a week about whether tofu pudding was sweet or salty, but later Xu Qin also accepted salty tofu pudding, salty and sweet, each with its own taste. ¡­¡­ Song Yan didn¡¯t say much, buried his head and quickly ate the tofu pudding, and Xu Qin still had most of it in her bowl. The chili oil noodles were also served. Printed bowl, painted wooden chopsticks, and cracked notches on the side of the bowl. A large bowl of thin noodles, poured with chili oil, made people have an appetite and smell fragrant when they look at it. Song Yan picked up the chopsticks and ate it, Xu Qin also picked up the noodles and ate it, eating and eating, and suddenly said: ¡°It¡¯s strange.¡± Song Yan was a little absent-minded, and asked in a copious manner: ¡°How?¡± ¡°The taste didn¡¯t change.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°Many stores have been in business for a long time, and when the business improves, the taste and quality will decline. But this one didn¡¯t. It¡¯s still as delicious as before.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t answer, he ate his noodles, since he entered the store, he said very little. However, the clerk who was busy on the side heard her words and answered: ¡°We¡¯re all neighbors, how can we do that to people?¡± The guest who was eating breakfast said: ¡°We are people of Wu Fang Street. Business and people are done in good conscience.¡± The people in the store started chatting casually. Song Yan quickly finished eating the noodles, chewed the roasted wheat in a few large mouthfuls, wiped his mouth, and looked at Xu Qin, there was still half a bowl of tofu pudding, half a bowl of chili oil noodles, a sesame ball, a youtiao and soy milk in front of her. She ate half of the chili oil noodles, and added a spoonful of chili pepper to the noodles. Song Yan watched as the fiery red pepper was stirred by her and melted into the noodles and soup. Years ago, she sat in this position and scooped up a spoonful of chili oil and put it in a bowl. He smacked his lips: ¡°So much?¡± She didn¡¯t think it was enough, picked up a large piece of chili pepper with chopsticks, and tasted it: ¡°It¡¯s so fragrant.¡± She ate bite after bite ¨C the Meng family did not eat spicy, and being with him can only release her nature. He looked at it and snorted disdainfully. She picked up another large piece and handed it to him: ¡°You try it, it¡¯s really delicious.¡± Song Yan shook his head: ¡°Am I sick, self-torture.¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°I will kiss you if you eat it.¡± Without saying a word, Song Yan swallowed the pepper. After a moment of thought, the girl back then became the girl she was now, and the tables and chairs in front of her seem to have not changed, but they were old. The chair under her butt was also loose and rickety. Xu Qin was still eating noodles unhurriedly, a strand of hair slipped down her shoulders, she raised her hand to brush it, pinned it behind her ears, and her little pink ears were facing his side. Song Yan watched coldly and silently. The hair seemed to be deliberately messing around, a small brush to pull it up, even more hair fell, Xu Qin slowly put down the chopsticks, put her long hair behind her head with both hands, tied it up with a leather band, revealing a white neck, slender lines and delicate mechanisms. Song Yan bit his lower lip unconsciously, and she picked up the chopsticks and continued to eat the noodles, still not in a hurry. ¡°Less grinding.¡± Song Yan finally became impatient and urged. Xu Qin then picked up a large bunch of noodles and sent it to her mouth, stuffed her cheeks, bulged, pouted, and her little red lips were also pursed. Song Yan frowned inadvertently, his eyebrows twisted into a knot, and after a long time, he suddenly stretched out, his eyes looked away, and the corners of his lips hooked, a little contemptuous. ¡°Xu Qin, this age is not suitable for pretending to be cute, you know?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Xu Qin raised her head, her eyes were dark, and her eyes were clean and straight, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡± Without saying a word, he kicked the bench and got up, walked out of the store, and stood on the side of the road to smoke. Song Yan smoked halfway, turned around and glanced coldly at the woman in the room. Routines, all routines. Note: We realised there was a mistake and have corrected it. The previous family name Di µÔ should actually be Zhai. ¶¹¸¯ÄÔ d¨°u fu n¨£o ¨C literally tofu (bean curd) brain. We have kept it as tofu pudding so that you¡¯re not imagining brains when reading the chapter haha. It¡¯s a northern Beijing thing to call it tofu brain. TIL. CH 21 Song Yan finished smoking a cigarette and looked back at the store, Xu Qin had finished the chili oil noodles and sesame balls, and was eating soy milk and youtiao. She learned how to eat like the locals, soaking the cut pieces of youtiao in the soy milk, scooping them up with a spoon and putting them in her mouth when they were soft. The youtiao were crispy on one side and soft on the inside, and were filled with fragrant soy milk. She licked her lips after eating, seemed satisfied with the taste, picked up the next piece of youtiao with chopsticks, and continued to dip in the bowl of soy milk. She ate in the same way as the people around her, and she looked like an ordinary girl, her hair was tied low, a gray coat, jeans, small booties, and a small school bag on her back. The environment was not incompatible, and the other girls around were not much different, except that she was more beautiful, the look and temperament were indifferent, and the whole person was calm. Just by watching, Xu Qin inside seemed to feel his gaze, raised her eyes to look at him, their eyes had not yet met, he had quickly turned away and looked at the busy street. There were more people coming and going. Song Yan lit the second cigarette. Since reuniting with Xu Qin, Song Yan hadn¡¯t taken a serious look at her face up close, and every time his eyes couldn¡¯t stay on her face for too long. But her appearance was clear in his mind. She had not changed much from back then, except for the baby fat, her face had become smaller and whiter. The nose was still small and high, and the eyes were still dark, faintly without emotion. Xu Qin was beautiful, Song Yan was very clear. But back then, the first time he liked her was not because of her beauty. At school, Song Yan sat in the back row of the classroom and laughed with his classmates. The class gathered in groups to chat, and students ran by in pairs outside the classroom. At some point, he inadvertently looked out the window, and a girl who was left alone passed by. She held her school bag, lowered her head, and walked very slowly. He didn¡¯t see her face clearly, only felt that her thin figure was unusually laid. Someone next to him spoke to him, he replied, and when he looked again, the girl outside the window was gone. He continued to laugh with people. At this time, the friend on the opposite side poked his chin, looked behind him, and said, ¡°Eh, you are blocking the way of your new classmate.¡± At that time, Song Yan was sitting on the table, stepping on another table, and his long legs blocked the passage. He was talking to a friend when he jumped off the table and stood up to get out of the way. In the narrow aisle, the girl holding her schoolbag passed by him and rubbed his chest. He recognized her, and halfway through his words, he stared at her. But she was a head shorter than him, thin and small, and he only saw her long flaxen hair and her fingers clutching her school bag, which she held as if she were holding herself, and her back was very weak. At that moment, without warning, he suddenly wanted to protect her. He didn¡¯t want to jump into it, but it was a pit. Where did she need his protection? Song Yan was halfway through smoking, and his mobile phone rang, pulling Wu Fang Street in front of him back from many years ago. It was Zhai Miao who called. Song Yan frowned inadvertently, it stands to reason that she should have arrived at school now and prepared for class. ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°Ge!¡± The voice on the other end was eager, with a crying voice, and said a series of inarticulate words, mixed with the sound of men¡¯s lectures. Song Yan squeezed the cigarette out of his mouth: ¡°Calm down and tell me what happened?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± Zhai Miao stopped talking, ¡°Ge, I¡¯m at the police station, come and rescue me. Don¡¯t tell my parents.¡± She hurriedly called him, and didn¡¯t say much else, Song Yan only asked which police station she was in, and hung up: ¡°Wait, I¡¯ll come right away.¡± He put down the phone, extinguished the cigarette, walked to the counter to settle the bill, and returned to the table after settling the bill, Xu Qin had just finish eating. Song Yan put his hands in his pocket, straddled the stool, and asked, ¡°Have you finished eating?¡± Xu Qin nodded. Song Yan said, ¡°Let¡¯s go then.¡± Xu Qin asked, ¡°Where are you going?¡± She saw him answer the phone. Song Yan said, ¡°Something to do.¡± Xu Qin asked, ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Song Yan said, ¡°Zhai Miao is at the police station.¡± Xu Qin frowned, unable to think of anything she could cause as a student. Song Yan saw that she wanted to ask, and continued: ¡°Either she bump into a car on the road, or she was pushing and shoving with someone. Her character is unreasonable.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll leave first.¡± Song Yan got up and walked out. Xu Qin also followed: ¡°I¡¯ll take you.¡± Song Yan glanced back at her, and Xu Qin said, ¡°Now during rush hour, you can¡¯t get a taxi. Zhai Miao is waiting in the police station, we should hurry.¡± ¡°Thanks.¡± Song Yan took up her offer, it seemed he was really anxious to rush over there. After Xu Qin¡¯s car was blistered last time, Meng Huai Jin bought her a white BMW, exactly the same model as before. Not long after the car was bought, the seats were piled up with deodorized charcoal packets. Xu Qin sat in the driver¡¯s seat and the charcoal bag in the passenger seat she picked up and threw it into the back seat. Song Yan sat in the car, and when he pulled the seat belt, he found that the plastic film on the safety buckle had not been torn off. He casually asked: ¡°Changed to the exact same one?¡± Xu Qin inserted the car keys, her mind did not turn for a while, and asked: ¡°Have you seen my previous car?¡± Song Yan forcefully buckled the seat belt and clicked the ground. After Xu Qin said that sentence, she found that she was wrong, and immediately changed her words: ¡°Wrong, you saw my car on the day of the rainstorm.¡± Song Yan let out a ¡°hmm¡± lightly and heavily, a little absent-mindedly. Xu Qin thought he was worried about Zhai Miao and asked, ¡°Which police station?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Qi Ye Tai.¡± Xu Qin pondered in her heart, and before she said anything, Song Yan said: ¡°I don¡¯t need your help. Don¡¯t bother with that favor to find a reason to call.¡± Xu Qin was stunned and did not speak for a while. Song Yan still said: ¡°Thank you.¡± For her, life was unusually simple and relaxed, which was a good thing. He had no right to deprive her; but you couldn¡¯t take it for granted to borrow or enjoy it. Xu Qin stepped on the accelerator slightly, and the car drove out of the underground garage. This was a commercial district, which was at rush hour, and the road from west to east was blocked by water, but from the east the road out to the west was unobstructed. On the opposite lane, traffic jammed the parking lot; Xu Qin¡¯s side was open. She glanced at the road conditions in the exterior rearview mirror, and then glanced at the rearview mirror inside the car, and happened to see Song Yan¡¯s side face. He wrinkled his eyebrows slightly, looking out the window, his face a little solemn. Xu Qin asked, ¡°Where is Zhai Miao studying now?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t look back: ¡°University A1.¡± Xu Qin was slightly surprised: ¡°Her grades are that good? ¨C I remember that she was very playful and never studied.¡± Song Yan sighed: ¡°But she¡¯s smart.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Why sigh?¡± Song Yan turned his head to look at her and said, ¡°It is easier for her to succeed than others, and she has no awe for some conventional laws when she comes and goes. Moreover, people who are too confident in their own abilities are also prone to use and trick others to do things that cross the line.¡± Xu Qin pondered these two sentences, and suddenly said: ¡°You are quite suitable for being a parent.¡± ¡­¡­ Soon after arriving at the Qi Ye Tai Police Station, Zhai Miao pulled her head and sat inside, and when she saw Song Yan coming, she immediately got up: ¡°Ge!¡± The policeman in front of her was taking notes, and he wanted to tell her to sit down, but the policeman was young and kind, so he didn¡¯t think about the little girl. Xu Qin followed behind Song Yan and unexpectedly found that the girl sitting next to Zhai Miao was very familiar, but it was the hostess Ye Zi that Meng Yan Chen ordered in the Wan Liu clubhouse. Song Yan saw Zhai Miao at a glance safe and secure, but also heartbroken. Striding over, he asked, ¡°What¡¯s going on? Nobody fought, right?¡± Said and glanced at Ye Zi, but Zhai Miao¡¯s school bag was placed at the foot of Ye Zi, obviously the two were together. ¡°What kind of fight, I¡­¡± Zhai Miao¡¯s face was anxious, just about to say something, seeing Xu Qin behind him, she was not happy, ¡°Why did you follow-¡± Song Yan frowned and interrupted: ¡°Zhai Miao, have you figured out where you are now? Still throwing tantrums, huh?¡± Zhai Miao glared at Xu Qin and snorted, not thinking about her for the time being. The expression was not convinced. The police asked, ¡°Are you her ge?¡± Song Yan said, ¡°Yes. What happened to her?¡± The police said: ¡°Selling fakes. The person making the dispute just went out.¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyebrows trembled, incredulous: ¡°Selling fakes? She is a student-¡± Looking back at Zhai Miao, his face changed, and his tone changed, ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Zhai Miao was afraid of him, did not dare to speak, supported for a long time, stomped her foot, grabbed his sleeve: ¡°Ge, you have to listen to me, I am working part-time at school to buy things, I was deceived, I didn¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t lie?¡± The officer picked up a large bag of things and put it on the table, ¡°You really don¡¯t know if these are fake? And a college student, selling fakes. Such a serious integrity problem, your teachers did not teach you? ¡± The officer was still sighing: ¡°You have a higher education, and you know the law and break the law. If you smart people go crooked, it will be a great disaster for society in the future.¡± Song Yan glanced at the pile of cosmetics and bags, and the last trace of worry and anxiety in his eyes was completely removed. Zhai Miao knew that something was wrong, and was so frightened that she quickly withdrew her hand. Xu Qin looked at the pack and all kinds of Dior, Armani lipstick, powder, foundation, liquid, and understood in her heart. I¡¯m afraid that Song Yan knew very well that Zhai Miao was lying. Ye Zi was obviously much calmer than Zhai Miao, sitting there expressionlessly, and did not react when she heard Zhai Miao¡¯s defense, but looked a little impatient and contemptuous, holding the phone in her hand, wanting to call. As soon as Ye Zi looked up and saw Xu Qin looking at her, she also recognized Xu Qin, slightly surprised, and then returned to calm in an instant. Zhai Miao was still pleading with the police: ¡°I really didn¡¯t know, how would I know it¡¯s fake. Many of my classmates are doing the same for part-time jobs, why did you arrest me? Besides, I can¡¯t afford to use these famous brands as a poor student, how would I know if they are real or not?¡± The police seemed to find it credible, and Zhai Miao pulled Song Yan: ¡°Ge, help me talk-¡± Seeing that Song Yan¡¯s face was very bad, she was not convinced: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyes were cold: ¡°You still feel wronged, right?¡± He picked up a tube of lipstick and asked, ¡°How much did you sell this for?¡± ¡± Zhai Miao shrunk and muttered. Song Yan said in a deep voice: ¡°Speak up!¡± Zhai Miao shook and whispered: ¡°Bought for fifty, selling for three hundred.¡± ¡°The original price of this thing-¡± Song Yan paused, turned back and asked Xu Qin, ¡°How much is the original price?¡± Xu Qin, who was called, was stunned and replied, ¡°More than six hundred.¡± Song Yan asked Zhai Miao: ¡°Part-time? Do you have a hole in your head and did not know that you were selling fakes? ¡ªYou still won¡¯t admit your mistake, thinking that playing a little clever and saying that I don¡¯t know can shirk responsibility, and the police officer is a fool?¡± The officer was stunned and quickly nodded in agreement. Zhai Miao was about to go crazy: ¡°Don¡¯t fan the flames, can you?! I called you to save me.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I fucking thought you were beaten. The trouble you caused, think about how to solve it with your own brain?¡± Zhai Miao: ¡°How do I know how to solve it?¡± Song Yan asked directly: ¡°Who is the person who shipped you the stuff?¡± Zhai Miao was stunned and shut up. The policeman knocked on the ballpoint pen in his hand and said, ¡°I asked, she said that there was no contact information, and the other party came directly to the dormitory to find her. I want to ask her roommate for confirmation, but she refuses to say which school she belongs to.¡± Zhai Miao cried: ¡°Officer gege, raise your noble hand, I am still a student. If you go to my school, how can I go back to school?¡± The officer¡¯s tone slowed down: ¡°Now you know it¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yan stared at Zhai Miao coldly, and his eyes swept towards Ye Zi again. Ye Zi met his judgmental gaze and quickly looked away. Zhai Miao didn¡¯t look at Song Yan, and continued to ask the police, and said pitifully: ¡°I really don¡¯t know how to contact the boss. Next time she goes to me, I hold her and hit 110 okay?¡± She looked like she was about to cry, ¡°You also see my ge, he will only discipline me, I promise to go back and reflect on it, okay?¡± The police hesitated for a moment, but also a little embarrassed, poked the pen: ¡°Your situation is a victim of deception came to complain, according to our regulations, we must notify your school.¡± Zhai Miao leaned on his desk and whimpered: ¡°If I am notified of criticism, it will be recorded in the student file! Officer gege, please.¡± The police officer asked, ¡°You really don¡¯t know?¡± Zhai Miao¡¯s head shook like a rattle and raised her hand: ¡°I really don¡¯t know.¡± The police hesitated for a moment again, sighed, and can see that they want to believe it. Song Yan, who had been watching coldly, spoke, and said, ¡°Zhai Miao, ask you again, who is the person who shipped them to you?¡± Zhai Miao turned her head stunned, her eyes shook, and she whispered: ¡°I really don¡¯t know.¡± Song Yan said to the police: ¡°Notify the school.¡± Zhai Miao and Ye Zi were startled at the same time. Even the police slowed down before asking, ¡°Which school?¡± Zhai Miao collapsed with a look of despair, and Song Yan was about to speak- Xu Qin called: ¡°Song Yan.¡± CH 22 Song Yan stood at the end of the corridor smoking, and Xu Qin reminded him on the side: ¡°Reporting criticism is not a small punishment, do you really want to tell the school?¡± Song Yan¡¯s finger flicked the cigarette ash, and he didn¡¯t say anything. Xu Qin speculated: ¡°You want to scare her, let her say that the mastermind is the one named Ye Zi?¡± Song Yan looked at Xu Qin: ¡°You can tell?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Hmm. I think something is wrong with her.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I hope that Zhai Miao will explain this matter clearly and draw an end. It is her responsibility, she cannot escape. But she shouldn¡¯t carry it, she shouldn¡¯t take the fall for it.¡± Xu Qin knew what he meant, he was a person who was upright to death, but he was also protective to death. Xu Qin said: ¡°It¡¯s useless for you to think about this, Zhai Miao refuses to expose her.¡± ¡°I guess she still expects to continue doing this.¡± Song Yan sneered, ¡°If she really has this kind of thought, it is considered light to let the school know¡­¡­. You saw her like that just now, she was clever and unrepentant, using the police to deceive sympathy, and she would not come clean.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°If you are her parent, it doesn¡¯t matter, let her be expelled from school. But your uncle and aunt¡ª¡± Song Yan frowned, looking a little tricky. Uncle and aunt were honest and kind people, and if this happened, they would definitely teach Zhai Miao a lesson. But after all, the child was too grown up to control. Besides, it was related to academics, and parents were afraid that their children¡¯s files were not clean and innocent, and they were bound to be lost. Xu Qin raised her eyes to look at him: ¡°Let me talk to Zhai Miao. You continue to pressure the police to make Ye Zi speak, I just observed, she has someone she wants to contact, and she was still hesitating. Anyway, find a way to make these two break today.¡± Once the two sides are opposed, the cooperative relationship between Zhai Miao and Ye Zi will naturally disperse. Song Yan looked at her for a long time, and suddenly asked with a smile: ¡°Are we two playing good cop, bad cop?¡± ¡­¡­ The two returned to the office, and Zhai Miao looked at Song Yan vigilantly, sincerely fearful. Xu Qin said: ¡°Zhai Miao, come with me.¡± Although Zhai Miao didn¡¯t like Xu Qin, for the sake of her speaking for her just now, she obediently went out with her. There were only three people left in the room. Ye Zi looked down and did not look at Song Yan. Song Yan didn¡¯t care about her either, and looked at the police: ¡°This classmate was with Zhai Miao?¡± ¡°Yes, together.¡± Song Yan asked, ¡°The primary and secondary responsibilities are clearly divided?¡± Ye Zi bit her lip. The police hesitated slightly: ¡°Not yet-¡± Song Yan: ¡°Didn¡¯t ask?¡± Police officer: ¡°I asked, she just didn¡¯t speak.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t talk nonsense, turned his head and asked Ye Zi: ¡°Are you the shipper for Zhai Miao?¡± Ye Zi pinched the phone and did not say anything. Song Yan didn¡¯t bother with her, looked at the police, and said, ¡°We will definitely bear the mistakes made by Zhai Miao. But this classmate can¡¯t fool us. If Zhai Miao drags her into the water, we are responsible. But if she lures Zhai Miao into the water, we will also seek accountability. She is alone now, can¡¯t make it seem like we are bullying her. Please inform her to contact her relatives and friends. If she still doesn¡¯t speak, call her teacher over. I know which school she belongs to, and it is not difficult to find out which department.¡± When Song Yan said this, he didn¡¯t look at Ye Zi from beginning to end. Ye Zi lowered her head, her fingers trying to crush the phone. Outside the door, when Zhai Miao heard this, she was afraid and ashamed, and her face was red and pale. On the one hand, she hated Song Yan for being stern and needing to dig into the bottom of the matter, on the other hand, she knew that he himself was really hurt. Xu Qin signaled her to go with her, and when she reached the end of the corridor, Xu Qin turned around and put her hands in her pockets: ¡°Did you hear what your ge said just now?¡± Zhai Miao looked away, not at Xu Qin. Xu Qin asked, ¡°Do you know what you did wrong?¡± Zhai Miao was originally feeling a mess inside, but seeing her showing off, she was even more annoyed: ¡°Don¡¯t think that just because you help me just now, I will look at you differently, and stop pretending to be a good person here. Stay out of my business.¡± After saying that she was about to leave, Xu Qin suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Zhai Miao almost fell down, slammed into the wall, she looked at Xu Qin in disbelief, about to attack. Xu Qin¡¯s tone was cold: ¡°Zhai Miao, if you don¡¯t have the capital then don¡¯t do it.¡± Zhai Miao was extremely angry and stepped forward: ¡°You have that capital¡ª¡± ¡°I can get you out of here with a word now, or I can make you unable to leave with a word, do you believe it or not?¡± Xu Qin asked. Zhai Miao choked. Xu Qin knew her personality, so she simply didn¡¯t say any good words: ¡°You think you¡¯re so amazing, right? Where¡¯s that little bit of cleverness of yours, huh? The thing you committed today is small, and your ge can save you by paying a fine. Another day, if the victim is ruined in the face and asks you to go to jail, it is useless for your parents to kneel and beg.¡± Zhai Miao shook for a moment: ¡°Although those are not real name brands, they are all regular-¡± ¡°Are you still arguing with me?¡± Xu Qin asked. Zhai Miao gritted her teeth. ¡°To be honest, I don¡¯t care about you at all.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°But don¡¯t cause trouble for Song Yan. You¡¯re an adult, be responsible for everything you do.¡± Zhai Miao had nothing to say back, and replied in vain: ¡°Xu Qin, you are really hypocritical.¡± Xu Qin said lightly: ¡°I know this, I don¡¯t need you to tell me. It¡¯s you, you can¡¯t see what position you are in. Your ge said that you are smart, but I think you are stupid.¡± Zhai Miao was about to get angry again, Xu Qin interrupted: ¡°Your school is so talented, you have unlimited prospects after graduation, and a lot of money is waiting for you to earn, but what about you, you don¡¯t study well when it¡¯s time to study, waste your time on these fake goods, and be blinded by the small profits and small benefits in front of you, are you stupid?¡± Zhai Miao was struck in the head. ¡°Go over and admit to your ge your mistake.¡± Xu Qin looked away and said, ¡°He doesn¡¯t want to ruin your life. But if you don¡¯t own up to your mistake, he can do it.¡± Zhai Miao¡¯s face was still not very good, but trying to stay calm. Zhai Miao went to Song Yan again, admitted her mistake, and admitted to him that she had taken the goods from Ye Zi, but since she was in the same school, it was difficult to expose it to the police. Song Yan didn¡¯t care about Ye Zi¡¯s affairs and didn¡¯t force her. Zhai Miao apologized to the police and gave assurances, and finally came to an end. ¡°Okay.¡± The officer said, ¡°Pay the fine.¡± The fine slip was handed over, two thousand. Zhai Miao saw the amount written on it, stunned, stopped talking, and clenched the list tightly. Song Yan didn¡¯t say a word, took the list out of her hand and took a look, then reached into his pocket to take out the money, took twenty red sheets and handed them to the police. The police took it and counted it. The surroundings were unusually quiet, Xu Qin glanced at Zhai Miao, her lips pursed, and suddenly she didn¡¯t dare look up. Afraid that it¡¯s at this moment that her heart really knows the pain. To earn that two thousand dollars, how many times did her ge had to rush into the fire and jump from a tall building. The policeman who counted the money did not know the blood and sweat behind the banknotes, so he put the money away after counting it and said, ¡°Okay, it¡¯s okay. Don¡¯t commit it next time, it won¡¯t be so easy if you commit another offense, and you will be detained.¡± Zhai Miao pinned her head and didn¡¯t say anything. Song Yan patted her and instructed, ¡°Talking to you.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± Zhai Miao sounded, not looking at Song Yan. ¡°It¡¯s good to know.¡± After the policeman finished speaking, he looked at Ye Zi, ¡°You also pay the fine. ¨C If you don¡¯t have it, call your friend to send it.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll go make a call.¡± Ye Zi finally spoke, and when she got up, she glanced at Xu Qin. Xu Qin probably guessed who she would call. In a moment, she returned. The police asked: ¡°Finished calling?¡± ¡°Finished.¡± Ye Zi said, returning to the chair and sitting down. In less than a minute, a man in his thirties hurried to come in, the police immediately got up: ¡°Director.¡± The director quickly glanced at the three girls present, and seemed to not see who it was, and turned to the policeman and asked: ¡°Xiao Chen, which one called Chief Meng just now?¡± Police officer Xiao Chen looked confused, and pointed to Ye Zi sitting at the end suspiciously. The chief walked over, bowed his waist and stretched out his hand towards Ye Zi: ¡°Hello, I am Liu Ziguang, the director of the Qi Ye Tan Police Station. Hello hello hello. ¡± Ye Zi glanced at his outstretched hand, shook it briefly, and smiled slightly, which was quite polite. Seeing all this, Zhai Miao frowned incomprehensibly. The director said to Xiao Chen: ¡°This is a misunderstanding.¡± Xiao Chen naturally understood what was going on, the director had said so, what kind of strength he had as a small officer. ¡°I¡¯m delaying your time, I¡¯ll send you out.¡± The director said to Ye Zi. Ye Zi sat quietly for a second before standing up, and the director made way for her, bumping Xu Qin when she retreated. Xu Qin didn¡¯t mind, so the two went out. She looked back at Song Yan, they should also go, but saw the police take out the two thousand yuan from the drawer. Xu Qin¡¯s face changed slightly, hoping that the next moment would not happen, but ¨C the officer said: ¡°You can take this money back. The director said it was okay. ¡± The officer was fighting for the last bit of fairness in his heart. Song Yan answered: ¡°She made a mistake, she should be punished. My mei1 is not with her.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t speak. The police officer was also a little embarrassed: ¡°Oh. Not together. Good.¡± Song Yan¡¯s two words, Zhai Miao heard it clearly. She glanced at the two thousand dollars, her eyes were red, and she lowered her head. Song Yan rubbed her head and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go. Taking you to school.¡± Two thousand yuan to buy her repentance, it was worth it, even if it was twenty thousand, he would not blink his eyes. ¡­¡­ When she arrived at the door of the police station, the director was still sending Ye Zi and accompanying her to wait on the side of the road. A Mercedes came and pulled up on the side of the road. When Xu Qin saw the car, her steps slowed down unconsciously, but Song Yan and Zhai Miao walked in front, and she couldn¡¯t fall too far. Moreover, Song Yan also knew that car. Didn¡¯t matter if she walked fast or slow. Only blame her for not expecting Meng Yanchen to send a car to pick up people. The director opened the car door for Ye Zi, she sat in, and before the director closed the door, he shushed Ye Zi in the car again before closing the door and waving goodbye. The car didn¡¯t drive, as if waiting for someone. Xu Qin finally walked to the door. The window on the driver¡¯s seat dropped, and the driver Lin in a suit asked politely: ¡°Miss, do you need me to give you a ride?¡± The director turned back in surprise, not understanding why a young lady popped up behind him. Xu Qin said, ¡°No need, my car is in front.¡± Zhai Miao had long been suspicious of Ye Zi¡¯s phone call, and now she had a luxury car to come and pick her up, and she was also involved with the Meng family, she was even more puzzled. She looked back at Song Yan, and Song Yan¡¯s face was shocked. Xu Qin too. The two did not look at each other, as if they had reached some kind of unspeakable tacit agreement, and as if they knew that they would not pick on some embarrassing reality. At the door of the police station, an invisible line was clearly drawn between them. At this end of the line, Song Yan used two thousand to get Zhai Miao out of the police station; on the other end, the director nodded and walked Ye Zi to a luxury car. Zhai Miao¡¯s heart suddenly hurt to death, she ran to take Song Yan¡¯s hand, and couldn¡¯t help but say: ¡°Ge, let¡¯s go.¡± Song Yan¡¯s feet did not move at first, but she had pulled him for a while before taking a step, glanced sideways at Xu Qin, and said briefly: ¡°Leaving.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Hmm. ¡± Zhai Miao pulled Song Yan and walked quickly, before turning around and tears fell. Remorse herself for dragging Song Yan to this humiliating situation. Ge, the world was really unfair. It was true. You are a hundred times better than those people, really, a hundred times better. Zhai Miao gritted her teeth fiercely: ¡°Ge, I will no longer be troublesome. I promise.¡± Song Yan knew that she felt uncomfortable in her heart. In fact, he didn¡¯t care, just¡ªif it weren¡¯t for the person he liked standing on the other side of that line¡­¡­ He smiled and rubbed her head without saying a word. Zhai Miao looked up and saw his side face, well-defined, full of silence, his eyes seemed to be still determined, but he didn¡¯t seem to see ahead. Zhai Miao¡¯s tears were even more fierce, she wiped her tears, and made up her mind hard: ¡°Ge, don¡¯t fall in love and get married so early, when I graduate and find a job, I¡¯ll buy you a Porsche wedding car, buy a big-name bag for your wife, absolutely authentic. When I get married in the future, I will also move the good things of my in-laws¡¯ family to my mother¡¯s house, and give you everything.¡± Song Yan cried and laughed: ¡°Bullshit.¡± Zhai Miao said, looking back, Xu Qin was still standing in place, the director was also standing, and the car was still parked there. Zhai Miao was inexplicably afraid, and immediately looked at Song Yan carefully, afraid that he would turn back, so she tightened on his arm and quickened her pace. Her careful thoughtfulness, Song Yan could see it clearly. And he didn¡¯t look back. Xu Qin kept watching Song Yan go farther and farther on the path of ginkgo, she knew that he would not look back, but she kept watching. Until he reached the corner, the tall figure flashed and disappeared, leaving a golden world. There was no turning back. Autumn was really wonderful, it was clearly so warm and warm gold, but the yellow leaves were so dead and withering, so bleak. 1 Ãà m¨¨i ¨C younger sister. We¡¯ll use it similarly to ge and jie. CH 23 Xu Qin drove all the way back to the Meng¡¯s house, Meng Yanchen¡¯s car was at the door. Xu Qin entered the house and noticed that the atmosphere was different, Meng Yanchen was sitting at the marble table in the dining room with his head down eating noodles. Fu Wenying sat on the side, folded her arms on the table, and looked at Meng Yanchen with a loving expression. Hearing the sound of the door opening, Meng Yanchen glanced that way, his gaze stayed on Xu Qin for a second, and then retracted flatly. Fu Wenying seemed to be in a particularly good mood, and smiled: ¡°Qin Qin is back?¡± Xu Qin called her mother. Fu Wenying: ¡°I haven¡¯t eaten breakfast yet, come and eat noodles with your brother. I was afraid that you would forget and have to call you, but Yanchen said no. It seems that I worried too much about it.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head and took off her shoes, searching in her heart, and suddenly remembered that today was Meng Yanchen¡¯s birthday. She forgot. As soon as she raised her eyes, she saw Meng Yanchen looking at her out of the corner of his eye. When he lowered his head to drink the soup, his eyes were still flat and traceless. For so many years, his character like Xu Qin couldn¡¯t be clearer. He was exactly the same as her, and to what extent his heart was depressed, there was not a trace of waves on the surface. Xu Qin changed into her slippers and walked to the dining room, sitting down opposite Meng Yanchen. Fu Wenying asked, ¡°Eaten breakfast yet?¡± Xu Qin wanted to lie, but she really couldn¡¯t eat anymore, so she said, ¡°Already ate, I¡¯ll drink a bowl of soup.¡± Fu Wenying instructed Aunt Gui1 to serve the soup. She smiled and looked at Xu Qin, and then at Meng Yanchen, her gaze lingering on the two: ¡°So fast, the two children in our family have grown so big.¡± Xu Qin took the soup bowl from Aunt Gui. Fu Wenying said: ¡°When I gave birth to this kid, I was tormented miserably, laboring in the hospital for seven hours, but he refused to come out. Your father also said that this child will be a worry in the future, and I will be brutally hurt.¡± Xu Qin and Meng Yanchen moved in synchronization, lowering their heads to drink the soup. ¡°In the end it was all nonsense, there was no child in the house who was more worry-free than Yanchen, and growing up he has never made me sad. Remember when you were a kid¡ª¡± Fu Wenying said more than usual today, telling about Meng Yanchen¡¯s birth. She tells it every year on his birthday, and no child disturbs a mother¡¯s memories on this day. Meng Yanchen had to go to work soon, and after eating the noodles, he went upstairs to clean up. Xu Qin also returned to her room, took a wooden carved little Meng Yanchen from the shelf, and walked to his room to knock on the door. ¡°Come in.¡± Xu Qin pushed the door in, Meng Yanchen stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror to get dressed, he had changed into a black shirt and was putting on cufflinks. Perhaps because of the black shirt and black trousers, it seems that his figure was exceptionally long, and his face particularly cold. Xu Qin turned the wooden carving in her hand and handed it to him. Meng Yanchen glanced at it, took the carving from her hand, turned around pulled open the drawer, and threw it in, there were a bunch of small Meng Yanchens in the drawer. He closed the drawer, hit it lightly, and snapped it shut. He didn¡¯t look at her and continued to put on a thin sweater. Xu Qin stood in place for a few seconds before saying, ¡°Happy birthday, may your wishes come true.¡± Meng Yanchen did not answer. Xu Qin turned around and walked out, walked to the door, and heard Meng Yanchen¡¯s faint voice behind her: ¡°Nothing else to say?¡± Xu Qin stopped in her steps. There was nothing to ask about Ye Zi, Meng Yanchen¡¯s character was clear to her, whether it was his upbringing or his cleanliness, he couldn¡¯t do that kind of thing. He made this just ¡ª That¡¯s it. Today was his birthday. Xu Qin said, ¡°No.¡± and went to pull the door. Over there, the cabinet door slammed shut. ¡°Didn¡¯t come back to question me?¡± Meng Yanchen asked, ¡°Don¡¯t say you ran back because you remembered my birthday.¡± Xu Qin held the edge of the door and said, ¡°You¡¯re very excessive.¡± ¡°How?¡± He straightened his shirt collar in the mirror, and actually laughed slowly, ¡°Hurt your sweetheart¡¯s poor self-esteem?¡± He has always been polite and self-denying, and he has rarely been so mean, but every time he aimed at Song Yan. And with his low-key and unassuming personality, how could he go to a police station to say hello for a trivial matter, let alone take his car to pick up people, which was nothing more than to draw a deep ditch between Song Yan and her. He had never been a person who used power to bully others, she knew it all too well, but this time- With a slight push of Xu Qin¡¯s hand, the door that had just been opened closed tightly again. She looked back at him: ¡°Meng Yanchen, what do you want to do?¡± Meng Yanchen also looked back at her: ¡°What do you want to do?¡± Xu Qin did not speak. Meng Yanchen looked at her for a moment, turned around and opened the wardrobe door, a long row of various coats hung straight, he picked one of them, paused his fingers on the hanger, and said: ¡°Of course, if you¡¯re just playing, it¡¯s okay. If you¡¯re serious, I advise you to stop it.¡± He pulled out a gray coat, and hung the wooden hanger back up. Xu Qin asked, ¡°So you are now in charge of me as a parent?¡± Meng Yanchen: ¡°Otherwise?¡± Even the confrontation between the two was unusually calm, like a lake without wind. Xu Qin watched him put his coat on and said, ¡°Meng Yanchen, don¡¯t mind my business anymore. Who I marry, who I go on blind dates with, who I fall in love with, who I play with¡ªit¡¯s none of your business.¡± After saying this, there was silence in the room for several seconds. Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t look at her, he lowered his head and straightened his cuffs. He had always been meticulous with his clothes, and he had never missed any detail ¨C shirt cuffs, thin shirt cuffs, coat cuffs, layer by layer. Finally, he said, ¡°It can¡¯t be him.¡± Meng Yanchen said word by word, ¡°Just him.¡± Xu Qin paused feeling ridiculous: ¡°Why¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°He doesn¡¯t deserve it.¡± He interrupted quickly and calmly, as if disgusted by saying one more word, ¡°I beg you to find a decent one.¡± Xu Qin lowered her voice: ¡°Watch what you¡¯re saying.¡± ¡°Did I cross the line?¡± The corners of Meng Yanchen¡¯s lips curved and said lightly, ¡°What has he done for you? If he had any trace of sincerity towards you, when you guys were separated for that reason, a man should grit his teeth and desperately climb up and try his best to be a man. If he had any trace of sincerity towards you, he will not be just a firefighter until now, and he can¡¯t even afford to give you a decent necklace.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s jaw was tight, as if she had been poked at the most embarrassing scar. She was not a little girl who lived in dreams without knowing the world, nor was she a little girl who pursued Plato¡¯s spiritual love. She was also hypocritical, she was also worldly, she will calculate, she will compare. If she wanted to abandon everything she had, positions of power, money, wealth, parental affection, just for him; So, why should he? What does he have to ask her to do that? When she stood at the door of the police station in the morning, she was thinking that when she looked at the back of Song Yan leaving, she didn¡¯t catch up. At that time, she couldn¡¯t come up with an answer, and now, Xu Qin still didn¡¯t want to understand, didn¡¯t want to think about it, and didn¡¯t want to tear this scar open for Meng Yanchen to see. She smiled faintly as if she hadn¡¯t heard this, and asked instead, ¡°What have you done for me then? It was you who told me not to like you anymore, you said that you would not care about me in the future, and it was you who said that you wanted me to change my surname and be the daughter of the Meng family and your sister. Are my feelings machine programs? Well, I listened to you, and now you are meddling to control me again, and under the guise of caring for me, don¡¯t you think it¡¯s false?¡± Loved ones, hurting each other, fatal with one blow. Meng Yanchen listened to her words, his figure paused, then he pulled open the watch cabinet, picked out a watch from it putting it on his hand, he lowered his head buttoning the wristband, his lips had a trace of obscureness. ¡°Why did I advise you? Oh, why did I advise you in the first place? If you didn¡¯t change your surname, mother would have sent you away. Never again in this life¡ª¡± The words behind were cut off like that. Xu Qin was taken aback, never knowing that there was such a reason behind it. ¡°If I liked you, if I liked you¡ª¡± He shook his head and didn¡¯t continue, as if the consequences would make him lose his voice. ¡°It took me more than ten years to accept the reality that you will marry someone else after all, but Song Yan, no.¡± Meng Yanchen buttoned his watch, pulled up his sleeves, and turned to look at Xu Qin, ¡°What are you going to do, huh? For him, go beg our parents, or make trouble with the family? What about me, what do you want me to do at this time? Have me watch from the side? Watch you go humbly and heartbreakingly to our parents for his sake, or ruthlessly watch you break up with us for him? You say, at this moment, seeing that you are about to be torn in two, should I speak for you, or should I not help you?¡± Xu Qin looked up at him, clearly watching a trace of desolation and anger flash on his calm face, he strode forward, wanting to hold her shoulder, but his palm suddenly popped open when he was about to touch her, as if she was taboo and untouchable, ¡°I ask you to give me even a little respect. If you and he can be together, why¡ª¡± He took a deep breath, and again, couldn¡¯t say any more. Why couldn¡¯t you and I? If you and he could fight everything together, why couldn¡¯t you and me. Meng Yanchen quickly turned around and looked at the huge lawn downstairs outside the window. The leaves on the ginkgo tree fell halfway to the ground and spread on the grass. Suddenly, the world became so lonely that nothing had to be said. With his back to her, he gently pulled open the innermost drawer, when closing the drawer again, his hand knocked the carving down. She didn¡¯t see, he helped little Meng Yanchen stand up. ¡°You wished for my wishes to come true?¡± He touched Xiao Meng Yanchen¡¯s head, ¡°Do you know what is going on in my heart, wishing my wishes come true?¡± ¡°Forget it.¡± Meng Yanchen said, he closed the drawer and went out. Xu Qin stood in place, heard his footsteps and quickly went downstairs out of the yard, heard his car start, leaving quickly. She looked out the window and saw that the sun was shining and a yellow leaf had fallen. She felt that her heart was like that leaf, riding the autumn breeze and drifting down from the tall trees, tired like never before. Tired. ¡­¡­ Song Yan sent Zhai Miao to school, but Zhai Miao didn¡¯t eat breakfast and ordered a bowl of noodles in the cafeteria. Song Yan was on vacation, and it was usually difficult to be free, so he accompanied her and opened a bottle of Arctic Ocean. He drank his soda and thought about the difference between him and Xu Qin at the door of the police station. What she thought at that time, he could guess a thing or two. There were students walking by in the cafeteria from time to time, Song Yan himself was good-looking, mature temperament, tall and long-legged, dressed stylishly, not like the gentle and scholarly boys in the school, inevitablely attracting the attention of the female students. Zhai Miao kicked Song Yan¡¯s leg under the table: ¡°Ge, that beautiful woman was watching you just now.¡± Song Yan continued drinking soda and ignored her. Zhai Miao continued to kick: ¡°You look back and see if she looks good.¡± Song Yan put his hand in his jacket pocket, turned his head to glance, and when he turned back, he was losing patience: ¡°Hurry up and eat, finish eating and go to class.¡± ¡°No class this morning.¡± Zhai Miao said, returning to the topic just now, ¡°Ge, in fact, your conditions are quite good, If you don¡¯t want to get married in a hurry, find someone to fall in love with first, don¡¯t be so-¡± Song Yan: ¡°Food can¡¯t even stop your mouth?¡± Zhai Miao glared at him and continued to eat noodles, after a while, she suddenly looked up and asked, ¡°Ge, you tell me the truth, do you still like her?¡± Song Yan frowned, and was about to reprimand her for something, when the mobile phone in his pocket vibrated, he took it out and saw that it was a text message sent by Xu Qin, only one sentence: ¡°I¡¯ll treat you to dinner tomorrow.¡± An address was attached. Song Yan stared at the text message and was silent for a few seconds. There was an inexplicable premonition in the heart, which was not good. He replied with an ¡°Okay.¡± Putting away the mobile phone, Zhai Miao said: ¡°Ge, just tell me the truth, I am seriously asking you. Do you still like her?¡± This time, Song Yan actually smiled and said, ¡°It¡¯s best not to meet.¡± Zhai Miao asked, ¡°What if already met?¡± Song Yan said: ¡°Don¡¯t want to not see her again.¡± Zhai Miao¡¯s shoulders slumped, obviously disappointed, but finally accepted: ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll be polite to her in the future, and don¡¯t follow my mother blindly.¡± Song Yan snorted speechlessly: ¡°I thank you.¡± Zhai Miao stirred the noodles in the bowl, the food was tasteless, and after thinking about it, she said: ¡°Ge, I think she should like you too, why don¡¯t you guys just get together?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t want to talk about it, and prevaricated: ¡°You don¡¯t understand.¡± Zhai Miao refused to accept it, she put down the chopsticks, and reasoned with him: ¡°I understand. Isn¡¯t it because her family is too prominent. I think you are a stickler. What modern people pursue is to be free and happy, to enjoy the moment. If you like her, be together, the future is too far away, let¡¯s not worry about whether we can get married or not. Let¡¯s talk about love first, go wherever you go, continue if you can, and separate if you can¡¯t. The time, whether mental or physical, is not a disadvantage anyway.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Bullshit.¡± ¡°In the first place. Who stipulates that a relationship must have a happy ending? Let me say, ge, you obviously have the innate conditions to fall in love with countless of people, so why do you have a heart to stick to one thing?¡± Song Yan endured her to a certain extent, and stood up: ¡°I am leaving. Go to class.¡± ¡°Hey, hey, are you really leaving?¡± Song Yan quickly walked out of the cafeteria and walked on the school path, remembering Zhai Miao¡¯s words, he felt absurd, but he couldn¡¯t refute it. But he and Xu Qin walked into a dead end, but they couldn¡¯t get out of it no matter what. In late autumn, only ginkgo and evergreen trees remained on the campus, all golden and one dark green. The students were in pairs, some sitting on benches reading, others running in the morning, and the faces of the young people were full of vigor and vitality. Song Yan inadvertently remembered his college days, the countless days and nights of studying hard in the classroom and exercising on the playground. Xu Qin didn¡¯t know, he had gone back to school, passed the best military school, and gone through the most basic hardship, thinking that with that glamorous record and resum¨¦, he could walk to the position she could see. But he didn¡¯t expect how deep the water was here, that a person thousands of miles away could move their finger, and he could fall into the abyss, forever. Song Yan took out a cigarette from his jacket pocket, stuffed it in his mouth and lit it. The smoke was blown by the wind around his face, making his side profile sharp. A few girls who walked by secretly looked at him and ran away in small steps. Song Yan left the school without any regrets. When walking to the subway station, he passed a road. There was a car parked by the sidewalk with a black and white license plate. Song Yan remembered seeing that license plate number a year ago. But he turned a blind eye, twisted the cigarette between his fingers, and walked past the car. 1 ¹ðÒÌ gu¨¬ y¨ª ¨C Gui aunty. In the Asian world, one would normally call the generation above them, aunt or uncle even if they are not blood related ¨C it¡¯s a sign of respect. Aunty Gui is most probably the Meng¡¯s all rounded housekeeper. Even if Aunt Gui is the same age as Fu Wenying, she would naturally call her Aunt Gui as it would the term that Meng Yanchen and Xu Qin would use. Fu Wenying may call Aunt Gui by her full name if it¡¯s just the two of them. CH 24 It was Meng Yanchen¡¯s birthday, and there was a family dinner in the evening. Close relatives, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews and nieces all gathered together, even the ninety-five year old Grandpa Meng also came. Grandpa Meng was born into a scholarly family in the Republic of China. He abandoned literature and followed the revolution, he was an old founding figure. They had three sons and one daughter, Meng Huaijin was the old man¡¯s youngest son, and Meng Yanchen was the youngest grandson. As for the great-grandchildren, the oldest great-grandson had already graduated and started working. He and Meng Huaijin were in a large PLA1 military region. You didn¡¯t call him uncle or grandpa when you met him, but you had to respect military etiquette, salute, and call him Chief. Usually all the family members were busy, only birthdays had full attendance. Fu Wenying¡¯s uncles, aunts, and cousins also came. Although it was a small family banquet, it was very lively. They didn¡¯t invite friends, the Meng family had always avoided such opportunities for people to give gifts. Only Xiao Yixiao came over for a meal, and gave Meng Yanchen a few sets of Star Wars models, and brought Xu Qin a lollipop. Who knew which restaurant¡¯s front desk it came from. Meng Yanchen¡¯s eldest nephew complained about him: ¡°Why do you come here every year?¡± Xiao Yixiao retorted: ¡°Go and stand guard at the entrance.¡± Fortunately, there were so many people, Xu Qin and Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t need to acknowledge each other. After a lively meal, the male guests gathered together to talk about work, and the female guests gathered together to chat about family affairs. Being born into the Meng family, their daily affairs couldn¡¯t avoid including work favors. Xu Qin sat with her relatives for a while, and when everyone started to disperse or have private conversations or went out for a walk, she went upstairs and went back to her room. Finally getting some peace and quiet, she took out the unfinished wood from the drawer, and sat in front of the table to start carving. The wood fragments were scraped off little by little, and she carved the little man¡¯s body, leaving the most difficult head area. She put down the carving knife to rest for a while, and wanted to go downstairs to take a look. When passing by the study, she heard the voices of several elders, it appeared that they were talking about business. Xu Qin heard from Meng Yanchen that third uncle had plans to enter the secretariat, and his qualifications, whether it was ability, aptitude or connections, were more than enough. Recently Meng Huaijin would also be transferred and promoted. Meng Yanchen¡¯s juniors had all developed well, and the Meng family was in the limelight. Xu Qin didn¡¯t care about these things, but she still heard a word or two. ¡°¡­Let the fourth eldest child contact Secretary Jiang Kecun more often. He does not like to do this by nature, but you have to help him pay attention to the friends and contacts that should be maintained.¡± Fu Wenying: ¡°Don¡¯t worry, the relationship between the two families has always been good. Qin Qin had a blind date with his son Jiang Yu, but there wasn¡¯t any progress. Children these days, can¡¯t understand what they¡¯re thinking.¡± The second aunt said: ¡°The children in our family obey the rules, so don¡¯t worry about it. That son of the Zhan family, who spends his time indulging in debauchery, got up to no good with a student and got her pregnant. Now that child¡¯s been looked after and sent abroad. That son couldn¡¯t find the female student, so he¡¯s been making trouble at home everyday. ¡°That family¡¯s teachings are not right.¡± Uncle said. Xu Qin walked through the hallway and went downstairs. The servants were diligent. Not long ago, there was a mess of cups and plates, but they were cleaned up in no time. The bright lights illuminated the tranquility and elegance of the first floor. She walked through the living room and dining room alone, and stopped after making her way around. Looking at the huge house, she suddenly forgot why she came downstairs. After standing on the spot for more than ten seconds, she walked back. Passing the small reception hall, she saw an old and a middle-aged father and son sitting in front of a wooden tea table¡ª Meng Huaijin was peeling oranges for the old man to eat. The light was warm, he peeled off the orange peel, tore off the white veins, broke open the orange, broke off a small piece and handed it to the old man. The old man took it with trembling hands, put it in his mouth and chewed slowly. Meng Huaijin waited quietly, and when the old man finished eating slowly, he handed him the next segment. The man was old in his years and looked skinny. There was no verbal communication between father and son, only the yellow-orange segments connected them. Xu Qin pushed the door open and went in, calling out: ¡°Dad, grandpa.¡± The old man couldn¡¯t tell who was coming, while although Meng Huaijin was middle-aged, he was tall and upright, full of energy, without any signs of dispiritedness; moreover his face was handsome and extraordinary, without losing any of the maturity accumulated over the years. Coupled with the fact that he had been upright and magnanimous all his life, his appearance was even more good. Meng Huaijin asked about Xu Qin¡¯s work, and said: ¡°Your mother thinks your job is tiring, but I think that it¡¯s good as long as you like it.¡± ¡°Thank you Dad.¡± Meng Huaijin smiled, tore the tendons on the orange, and asked: ¡°Apart from work, is there anything else you¡¯re unhappy about?¡± Xu Qin fell silent. Although she didn¡¯t like to talk, if her heart was relaxed or depressed, her father could still see it clearly. ¡°Is it because your mother made you go on a blind date recently?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t try to hide it: ¡°Can¡¯t I just find someone I like?¡± Meng Huaijin turned to look at her: ¡°Is there someone you like now?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t answer directly: ¡°I don¡¯t want to live a pre-arranged life, and I don¡¯t want a life whose ending can be seen at a glance.¡± ¡°Even if this kind of life is rich and happy, carefree and without worries?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t answer, but instead asked: ¡°Dad, do you love Mom?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°But I heard from my brother that you were not actually in love at the beginning.¡± Meng Huaijin handed the orange to her grandfather and talked about the past. It was a little funny: ¡°Not only were we not in love, but I liked another woman at the time.¡± ¡°Then why¡ª¡± ¡°She was not suitable.¡± ¡°Do you regret it?¡± Meng Huaijin¡¯s smile became gentle: ¡°I don¡¯t regret it. To pursue love, you have to pay a price. The price is irreversible, but the result is uncertain, so I retreated. Fortunately, time is a good medicine. Later I forgot about her and fell in love with your mother.¡± Xu Qin thought for a moment, then shook her head: ¡°That¡¯s because you are living a relaxed and happy life together.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Meng Huaijin looked at Xu Qin again, ¡°Because life is easy and carefree, a new love is born from happiness. On the contrary, if two lovers have unsuitable family circumstances, they may live a hard life, bicker and calculate each other, then love can turn to hatred under suffering.¡± ¡°Love is temporary, but family and kinship are eternal.¡± Meng Huaijin sighed and smiled when he said this, ¡°Of course, this thinking belongs to the older generation, this is how we got here. You young people, who advocate freedom, I don¡¯t have any understanding of.¡± As Meng Huaijin spoke, he continued to feed grandpa oranges. Xu Qin went back upstairs alone. There were obviously many people in this big house, but it was so silent. She pushed open the door of her room, a lamp was on on the table. Walking through the darkness, a small wooden figure in a fireman¡¯s suit lay in a pile of sawdust, his face blurred¡ª his head was not yet complete. Xu Qin stood in front of the table and stared at the little wooden man¡¯s face for a long time. Suddenly, she picked him up and threw him into the bottom drawer, and quickly closed the drawer with a bang. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin asked Song Yan to have dinner at a Chinese restaurant on the fifth floor of Soho Plaza in Si Xi Di. Standing in the sightseeing elevator in the shopping mall, Xu Qin kept going upwards, and saw the colorful signboards of various clothing and makeup stores in the shopping mall, full of design feel. It was still too early for Christmas, but strings of big red and golden balls had been hung on the ceiling of the shopping mall, which was very eye-catching. Well-dressed handsome men and women came and went, there were friends who went shopping together, and there were couples in pairs. It was at that time that Xu Qin saw Song Yan on the escalator. He stood upright with his hands in his pockets and slowly moved up the escalator. He looked forward, bit his jaw slightly, and seemed to be worried, but she didn¡¯t know what he was thinking. Up and down the escalator, there were many pedestrians, and there were also many men who had carefully dressed up. But even so, Song Yan was exceptionally outstanding. With a ding, the elevator reached the fifth floor. Xu Qin stepped out of the elevator, and the escalator that Song Yan was riding on slowly approached. Song Yan suddenly saw Xu Qin approaching from the corner of his eye, his eyes swept over, their sharpness and brightness instantly recovered, and his expression became still. When Song Yan walked down the escalator, Xu Qin happened to catch up to him and pointed not far away: ¡°Over there.¡± The two walked towards the restaurant without speaking. The waiter ushered the two into their seats, thinking to himself: What a couple. The restaurant was decorated in a Chinese style, the seats were by the inner windows, and you could see the bustling scene in the mall when you turned your head. White escalators folded and traveled back and forth in the hollowed-out floor, creating a wonderful space. Everyone walked through it, and everyone¡¯s face was full of ease. Xu Qin thought that among these people, there should be no one like her who came to put an end to a road of hard work that hadn¡¯t started yet. After Xu Qin sat down, her gaze was uncertain. Without looking at Song Yan, she first asked the waiter for two glasses of water. Song Yan was the opposite. From the moment he sat down, his gaze was fixed on her all the time. Although he showed no expression, he did not move for a moment . After the waiter left, Xu Qin looked at Song Yan and chatted: ¡°Are you going back to the team tonight?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Yes.¡± Xu Qin glanced at her phone, it was 11:30 in the morning, and he returned to the team at 6:00 pm. She said, ¡°You can rest for half a day.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t answer, the corners of his lips gradually curled up into a smile, and he looked at her strangely, as if he was watching a funny clown show. Xu Qin was well aware and felt a little ashamed, but didn¡¯t reveal it on the surface and remained calm. ¡°This restaurant¡¯s popular¡ª¡± Song Yan wasn¡¯t in the mood to beat around the bush: ¡°Xu Qin, just speak up if you have something to say.¡± The waiter came over to serve two glasses of lemon water, and Xu Qin took advantage of the break to reach for a glass of water. Song Yan¡¯s eyes were slightly cold, and he tapped his fingers on the table: ¡°Speak first then drink.¡± Xu Qin withdrew her hand, looked down at him for half a second, calmly gazed at him, and said: ¡°I invited you to a meal just to thank you for saving me, that¡¯s all.¡± Song Yan waited for a few seconds. Seeing that she had finished speaking and had nothing more to say, he turned his eyes away and looked at the shopping mall outside the window, then suddenly let out a laugh from his nose. When he looked at her again, his smile was gone: ¡°Xu Qin, just say this, you wanted to get back together with me a few days ago, but now you regret it and feel that it¡¯s not worth it and you don¡¯t want to play anymore. Is it so difficult to say this sentence?¡± ¡°I thought that after all these years, your personality would at least be a little sharper.¡± He snorted, not without ridicule, ¡°Or, part of you has made a decision, yet the other part still wants to leave some leeway?¡± He exposed her without mercy; instead, she felt relaxed in an instant. She was really not surprised at all that her dark side would be clearly revealed by him. She was such a selfish and greedy person, to remain undecided with such insatiable desire. From the beginning to the end, she was extremely ugly and vile in front of him. At this point, she was still hesitating and hoping to have a path to retreat, how shameful. Xu Qin finally nodded quickly, as if forcing herself to make up her mind: ¡°En. This meal is to thank you, and then we also¡ª¡± ¡°Everything is settled,¡± she said. Silence. Song Yan suddenly had nothing to say. He just looked at her, just looked at her like that. It was quiet and silent. Clearly there was no extra emotion, but it was so quiet that it would make people despair. Xu Qin was suddenly unable to breathe. Song Yan just looked at Xu Qin¡¯s face, that was all. He saw the lights in the mall shining through the glass on her fair cheeks. She had been a doctor for a long time, and she didn¡¯t have a habit of putting on makeup. He saw that her forehead was high and clean, her eyebrows were very thin, her eyes were very dark, her nose was small, her lips were very red, and there was a small dimple under her lips. The whole face was not gorgeous, it was delicate, looking at it made him not want to look away. It was okay not to meet, really, It was okay not to meet. The woman in front of him was the woman he had his eyes on, hypocritical, greedy, weak, and ruthless. Xu Qin, if I met you just now, if I met you at this age, even if you had hundreds of millions of assets, I would not fall in love with you. Back then, that look out of the classroom window served him right. Back then, he would never have imagined that just that one glance would destroy his heart and his life. But he didn¡¯t say it. Not a single extra word. He just smiled and said, ¡°Okay.¡± He accepted her choice with one word and ended their relationship. No sarcasm, no ridicule. Very silent, very fast. Xu Qin¡¯s heart throbbed suddenly. She looked straight at him, their eyes met, but she didn¡¯t have much to say. When the waiter came, Xu Qin hurriedly turned her eyes away, grabbed the menu from the waiter¡¯s hand, flipped through it randomly, but saw the man opposite her get up from the corner of her eye. That¡¯s right, with his personality, how could he continue to sit, how could he still eat with her as if nothing had happened? Xu Qin looked up at him, and Song Yan said: ¡°I¡¯m going.¡± She was a little dazed, but she calmed herself down in a second, smiled very lightly, and didn¡¯t hold back: ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yan nodded slightly at her as farewell. Xu Qin sat stiffly on the spot, staring at him without blinking for a moment, a sudden fear rose in her heart, what if this was really the end. The mall was bustling with people coming and going; The waiter stood aside and waited politely; The moment Song Yan turned to leave was suddenly stretched endlessly, leaving only the image and no sound. Until¡ª Suddenly, a piercing scream came from the shopping mall outside: ¡°It¡¯s on fire! Help!¡± 1PLA ¨C People¡¯s Liberation Army. The principal military force of the People¡¯s Republic of China. CH 25 ¡°It¡¯s on fire! It¡¯s on fire!¡± The scream came from outside the store, on the fifth floor. Song Yan rushed out of the restaurant immediately. Xu Qin and the waiter also came out. Outside the restaurant window, the shopping mall that was leisurely and orderly just a moment ago started to pick up speed in an instant. Everyone moved quickly, gathering in one direction like a small magnet. The young women and men on the fifth floor held hands and ran towards the place where the screams were heard, while those on other floors flocked to watch from an open angle, some tentatively walked up the escalator. Many people held up their mobile phones to take pictures or make calls. The accident took place in the papercraft studio on the northwest corner of the fifth floor. The papercraft teacher was leading the students in a class when the fire started. According to a customer who escaped from the store, someone secretly smoked in the back of the classroom and accidentally lit a papercraft on fire. In a panic, he picked up a stack of paper to fan at the fire, but with the movement the papers fell apart and sparks scattered, igniting a large area of surrounding paper products. The classroom was full of paper, which burned extremely fast. The young women panicked and ran out screaming, joining the crowd of onlookers around them. Song Yan pushed through the crowd and rushed to the glass door of the studio, only to see that a girl was left alone and trapped in the fire. Song Yan slapped the glass violently, the girl turned her head in panic, and Song Yan made a gesture to her. The girl immediately understood, and quickly pushed away all the papers around her. Song Yan turned around and ran out of the crowd again. Xu Qin asked the waiter, ¡°Where is the fire hydrant in this mall?¡± The waiter looked confused: ¡°Fire hydrant? I don¡¯t know.¡± Xu Qin gazed through the running crowd, looked around, and caught sight of Song Yan on the opposite side of the mall. Song Yan had already observed the location of the fire hydrants when he entered the mall, this had become his habit. Just now he had roughly observed the place where the fire broke out, and after instructing the trapped girl, he went straight to the fire hydrant. At this moment, he had already opened the fire hydrant, took off the water gun, took off the fire hose, fastened one end to the sluice gate, and laid the pipe all the way across. During this series of events, his reaction time was only forty seconds. Song Yan: ¡°Get out of the way!¡± When the people around the store turned their heads and saw Song Yan coming quickly with a rolling hose, they gave way one after another, not knowing where this man came from. Although the fire had broken out within a minute and a half, the situation in the store was special. The paper on the wall panels were all lit up, like burning paper lanterns. The floor-to-ceiling windows were full of jumping flames, which were very frightening. The trapped girl hid inside and cried. People were taking pictures and calling the police, the crowd was impenetrable. A large roll of hose was fully unrolled, Song Yan installed the water gun at the end of the pipe, looked back at the fire hydrant, and was about to call the people over there to open the gate. Xu Qin was already standing there, holding the valve tightly with both hands, and shouted at him: ¡°Which direction?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Clockwise!¡± Xu Qin exerted all her strength and twisted it hard, the valve opened, and the tap water rushed into the pipe quickly. The deflated hose stretched into a round shape and poured straight into the water gun in Song Yan¡¯s hand. Song Yan pulled on the water hose, and aimed the water gun with both hands at the papercraft studio. The water burst forth. The man was tall and long-legged, with a stern face, and his posture holding the water gun was explosive. The onlookers, men and women, were all dumbfounded, taking pictures with their mobile phones. Song Yan walked into the entrance area, first sprayed out an isolation zone along the display window, saw that people were still watching, and shouted annoyedly: ¡°Get the fuck back!¡± The young women were blushing and hearts racing after being reprimanded, they backed away obediently while continuing to protect their phones. The girl trapped in the fire huddled in the corner and did not dare to move, Song Yan strode up and grabbed the girl¡¯s hand to pull her over. The girl screamed and threw herself into his arms and hugged him. Song Yan held the water gun in one hand, grabbed her with the other, carried her to the door like she was a baby chick, and pushed her out vigorously. The girl¡¯s friend hurried forward to pick her up. After saving the girl, he walked into the fire scene alone, and all the young women couldn¡¯t help but exclaim: ¡°Don¡¯t go in!¡± ¡°It¡¯s dangerous!¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t turn back and went into the room. The fire burned most fiercely in the inner room, and this studio was partitioned by a larger shop. If the fire was not extinguished as soon as possible, the shop next door would also suffer. When Xu Qin rushed over, she saw water flowing against the glass windows. On the other side, orange flames jumped, sparkling and translucent water splashed everywhere, colored paper and black ash were scattered by the water gun, flying around all over. Song Yan stood in that world among the water and fire, bits of paper, wood and ashes; his figure was tall and firm, with his back to everyone. The people outside surrounding the glass window didn¡¯t know when it started, but they were all silent. The man in gray shirt and long trousers was obviously just like every ordinary person outside, on vacation, shopping, and eating. Like every ordinary person outside, he was not made of steel or iron, but blood and flesh. The heat would burn his airways, and the flames would burn his hands. A girl nudged Xu Qin: ¡°Are you two together?¡± Xu Qin came back to her senses, but before she could answer, the other party looked adoringly: ¡°He¡¯s like a hero.¡± Another girl corrected: ¡°What do you mean like? He is.¡± ¡°Yes, he is.¡± Xu Qin saw the girl who was rescued and walked over: ¡°Are you injured?¡± The other party had her face flushed with water, all the mascara had melted, she shook her head: ¡°Just a small burn, it¡¯s not a big deal.¡± Xu Qin checked her arm and said, ¡°It¡¯s not serious, just go to the pharmacy and buy some medicine.¡± While speaking, the fire was quickly extinguished. Song Yan¡¯s voice was hoarse, and he shouted outside: ¡°Close the sluice.¡± The people on the outside seem to have received instructions, and they quickly sent messages one after another: ¡°Close the sluice.¡± ¡°Close the sluice.¡± After several passes, the man closest to the fire hydrant closed the gate. The interior was in a mess, with black water running along the ground. Song Yan was covered in black ashes from head to toe. He removed the water gun, washed his face with the water in the pipe, and started to collect the hose. Xu Qin immediately went over and looked at him up and down: ¡°Are you injured?¡± Song Yan walked directly past her without looking sideways. Xu Qin stayed where she was. There was a pitch-black scene in front of her, and the scorched room was covered with water, such a sorry sight to behold. She finally turned around¨C¨C the crowd followed Song Yan all the way, admiring and grateful, but the man was obviously in a bad mood today, and treated them as air, turning a blind eye and turning a deaf ear, just focusing on collecting the hose. A few girls handed him tissues to wipe off the water on his face and the ashes on his clothes, he didn¡¯t refuse the kindness and took the tissues from the bystanders. Song Yan quickly restored the hose and water gun to its original shape, rolled it up and put it back on the fire hydrant. The management personnel of the shopping mall also came running, thanking him non-stop. Song Yan asked coldly: ¡°Are there any issues with the fire alarms in your shopping mall?¡± The person in charge was silenced on the spot, he tried to pull him aside to talk alone, but there were too many onlookers, and the Si Xi Di Fire Squadron had already arrived. Song Yan quickly handed over everything to his colleagues in Si Xi Di, and left without saying another word. People still gathered around the railings on all floors of the mall to watch him leave. Xu Qin walked into the sightseeing elevator silently by herself, and saw Song Yan standing on the escalator gradually descending, still standing straight, jaw clenched, this time looking slightly lower than his line of sight, she didn¡¯t know what he was thinking about. The elevator went down quickly, and suddenly sank into the negative floors underground. Xu Qin was unprepared, and Song Yan disappeared from sight. ¡­¡­ Song Yan went down to the first floor, headed out of the mall, called the inspection department of the Si Xi Di Fire Brigade, and got straight to the point: ¡°During the acceptance inspection of the fire department in Si Xi Di, did someone in the team take a bribe?¡± There was silence on the other end: ¡°How so?¡± ¡°The fire alarms in the shopping mall, come back to check it as soon as possible.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°As for your dirty tricks, be grateful, exercise some restraint, if something big happens then it¡¯ll be all over.¡± The other end was silent for a while, then whispered: ¡°I¡¯ll go check soon¨C¨C¡± ¡°As soon as possible. Don¡¯t fucking take the lives of people under you so lightly.¡± Song Yan hung up the phone. Fire inspection and fire prevention were all the responsibility of those at the top, it was an easy job with a lot of avenues. The people under ran around from fire to fire, they didn¡¯t accept any dirty money but had be a scapegoat for that dirty money and lose their lives, so fucking ironic. He walked into the revolving door of the shopping mall, and saw through the reflective glass that his expression was dark, he looked like he was going to eat someone. The phone rang again, it was Li Meng calling. Song Yan was thinking that the head of Si Xi Di had filed a complaint with Shi Li Tai so soon, and was worried that he had no place to vent his anger and had to head back to base, but it turned out to be about his transfer and promotion. Two years ago, the larger brigade of his detachment had considered promoting Song Yan several times, but he had refused on the grounds that the officers and soldiers under his lead were too young and didn¡¯t have enough firefighting experience in the field. After all, in the fire department, soldiers who had some connections at home were reluctant to come, and they all tried to get transferred away. Those who were assigned to do this were really the non-native kids who suffered the most. If there was a shortage of personnel, even eighteen or nineteen year olds could be sent over to fight fires. Song Yan was soft-hearted and couldn¡¯t let go of this group of little kids, so he continued delaying his promotion. This year, he took the initiative to submit an application. ¡°You¡¯ve passed the political record examination. Although the position has been pre-approved, it will have to wait until next year to be announced. You will still have to stay in your original post.¡± Li Meng said, ¡°There was an opportunity before, but you refused and insisted on being a front-line worker, saying that it was too bureaucratic. Now you¡¯ve suddenly thought it through?¡± Song Yan only said: ¡°I¡¯ve reached that age now.¡± Li Meng pondered for a while, and asked: ¡°It¡¯s not for her, is it?¡± A few months ago, that was the time when he had met Xu Qin again. Song Yan was irritable for no reason, and frowned: ¡°It has nothing to do with her.¡± Hearing that he was really angry, Li Meng was taken aback, and immediately changed her words: ¡°Prepare well, the political commissar is a good position, and you may be able to reach the seventh bureau in a few years.¡± ¡°Thanks.¡± Song Yan was in no mood to chat and hung up the phone. ¡­¡­ All the officers and soldiers of the Shi Li Tai Fire Squadron walked on ice for several days in a row. After their Captain Song had returned from his vacation, his whole being felt different. A face covered with frost, his whole body was cold, and anyone who looked at him could get a hole pierced in their body. No matter how the intensity was during training, physical fitness, skills, basics¡­¡­he was like clockwork and never got tired. Everyone complained endlessly, but they didn¡¯t dare to be negligent at all. No one was foolish enough to ruffle the lion¡¯s fur. Coincidentally, several nurses in the emergency room of the Third Military Hospital also experienced a state of trepidation similar to theirs. Although their Doctor Xu was usually not very talkative, her expression was so blank it made one wonder if there was something wrong with the nerves on her face. However, ¡°indifferent¡± and ¡°cold¡± were still distinguishable by others. During the minor surgery that day, Xu Qin had said, ¡°Suture needle.¡± Both Xiao Xi and Xiao Bei thought that the other party would hand it over, so they were two seconds late in their response. When Xu Qin slightly raised her eyes, the cold look was, in Xiao Si¡¯s words, sharper than a No. 11 scalpel blade, which made her bones go cold from fright. No. 11 scalpel blade (I was curious and thought I would share) The relationship between the nurses and Xu Qin was limited to work, and they couldn¡¯t figure out what was on her mind. Xu Qin herself didn¡¯t think she had something on her mind, it was just that the weather was getting colder and colder, making people more used to silence. The days without seeing Song Yan were not much different. She was so busy with work non-stop, who had time to think about what there was and what there wasn¡¯t. When she ran to find him feverishly before, it was because she was on vacation and it was empty and boring. In the first few days, a video of Song Yan fighting a fire in a shopping mall was posted on the internet, causing heated discussions in the city, and countless netizens liked it. Xiao Nan and Xiao Bei also had discussions in their spare time. Xu Qin deliberately didn¡¯t watch the video, and also deliberately avoided everyone¡¯s discussions. She didn¡¯t let herself think about him anymore. She didn¡¯t think about him again, until, late one night, when she came home from a late shift, when Xu Qin was boiling water, the water accidentally overflowed. When she moved the pot away and wiped the water stains with a rag, she stared at the rag for a long time for no reason. Her mind was empty, and she didn¡¯t think about anything. After finally regaining consciousness, she turned around and saw the empty living room. For a moment, the image of Song Yan mopping the floor that autumn afternoon appeared before her eyes. The sun was bright and warm that day, she still remembered. His shadow was refracted on the floor along with the sunlight. And now it was a cold winter night. In the past half a year since she had reunited with him, the number of times she met him couldn¡¯t be considered many, but they also met unexpectedly from time to time. However, almost a month has passed since the last time they parted in Si Xi Di, and they hadn¡¯t seen each other again. Patients with burns and in car accidents were still sent to the emergency room, but she never saw Song Yan again. In the middle of the night, Xu Qin stood in her silent home with dimly lit lights, and a belated agony spread all over her body¡ª perhaps, their fate was over. This cognition burned Xu Qin¡¯s nerves like a raging fire. She began to subconsciously pay attention to the fire hydrants and sirens around her. She would search for the sound of fire trucks on the road and pay special attention to ambulances in the hospital. However, it was futile. She never saw Song Yan again, and once even followed the truck to the scene to see firefighters from all over, but he was not there. Several times, she unconsciously took out her mobile phone, and when she regained consciousness, she found that she was staring at his number. But besides looking at it, there was nothing more that could be done. ¡­¡­ One day at the end of the month, when Xu Qin was about to leave work, someone knocked on the door. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Xu Qin looked up. It was a pretty girl of similar age to her, with a smile on her face and a graceful look, who didn¡¯t look like a patient. The girl leaned forward: ¡°You should be off work, I¡¯m not bothering you am I?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Yes. You¡ª¡± ¡°You don¡¯t remember me?¡± She came in and sat down, and put her Hermes Birkin bag on the ground casually, ¡°The Si Xi Di papercraft studio that caught fire, you asked me if I was injured.¡± Xu Qin had a strong impression of her. She watched Song Yan save her from the fire. He took her hand, and she threw herself into his arms and held him tightly. Xu Qin stared at her and said: ¡°It¡¯s a little fuzzy.¡± ¡°My name is Zhan Xiaorao.¡± Minister Zhan¡¯s daughter. ¡°You¡¯re Xu Qin, right? I know your brother and Xiao Yixiao very well.¡± Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s eyes flickered when she laughed, and she was very pretty, ¡°Do you know that firefighter? What¡¯s his name?¡± ¡°Song Yan.¡± ¡°Song Yan.¡± Zhan Xiaorao chanted a little, ¡°That¡¯s a nice name, suits him. Do you have his phone number?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°What?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been looking for him for a long time. Fortunately, a white-collar worker at the scene recognized you that day and said that you were a doctor from the Third Hospital and that you knew him, so I tracked down the clues.¡± Zhan Xiaorao said, ¡°He saved my life. I have been looking for him, and I want to invite him to dinner to express my gratitude.¡± Xu Qin looked at her, and suddenly wondered if the emotion in her eyes were as obvious as those in this girl¡¯s eyes when she invited Song Yan to dinner. There should have been none. She was buried too deep, and her eyes were a pool of stagnant water, unlike hers, which were shining, bright and boldly filled with desire. CH 26 Zhan Xiaorao entered Song Yan¡¯s number into her phone, and the light on the screen was reflected in her eyes, shining like a diamond. Xu Qin watched her dial the number and put the phone to her ear expectantly. The office was quiet, and iPhones were not soundproof. Xu Qin could hear the clear beeping sound on the other end, the phone was picked up, and Song Yan¡¯s voice sounded particularly deep and magnetic in the receiver: ¡°Hello?¡± Zhan Xiaorao couldn¡¯t hide her excitement: ¡°I finally found you, hello!¡± Song Yan: ¡°Who is this?¡± Zhan Xiaorao spoke quickly: ¡°I¡¯m the girl you rescued in Si Xi Di a month ago¡­¡­that papercraft studio that caught on fire, you don¡¯t remember?¡± The other end paused for a second and said, ¡°I don¡¯t remember.¡± Xu Qin flipped through the medical records with downcast eyes, hearing those three words, it was like the sound of heaven. ¡°It¡¯s okay if you don¡¯t remember, you¡¯ll be able to recall it when you see me.¡± Zhan Xiaorao was not at all depressed, and said enthusiastically, ¡°Thank you for saving my life. Let me treat you to dinner.¡± The other side said: ¡°No need.¡± Hung up, simply and neatly. As Xu Qin expected. ¡°Hey¡ª¡± Zhan Xiaorao hadn¡¯t finished speaking, but there was only a beep from the phone. Xu Qin¡¯s state of mind seemed to have swept away the haze of the whole month. Getting off work, Xiao Nan saw Xu Qin¡¯s lips were slightly curved upwards when she left, with a rare pleasant countenance. Xiao Nan was completely at a loss. A few days later, Xiao Dong¡¯s physical examination results came out, HIV negative, not infected. Xiao Dong got the results, ran all the way to Xu Qin¡¯s office, grabbed Xiao Xi and Xiao Bei, jumped and screamed, cried and laughed. ¡°It¡¯s true that good people are rewarded.¡± Xiao Dong said, ¡°No one was infected. Neither was the group of firefighters. They all hugged me happily.¡± Xu Qin looked up: ¡°Have they come to the hospital?¡± Xiao Dong: ¡°That¡¯s right, in the infection center.¡± Xu Qin sat on the spot for a second, then put her hands in her pockets and got up: ¡°I just remembered I need to find Professor Xu.¡± Walking out of the office, she heard Xiao Dong yelling behind her: ¡°Those were words I said out of anger, who said I¡¯m going to resign? To be an angel in white is my childhood dream.¡± Xu Qin exited the emergency building but did not go towards the outpatient clinic, instead she turned towards the infection center. When she got to the HIV laboratory, the hallway was empty. Xu Qin asked her colleague: ¡°Where are the firefighters who came to get tested?¡± ¡°They are all good, they left.¡± The laboratory technician also looked very happy, ¡°Just left, about a minute ago.¡± Xu Qin turned around and gave chase. As soon as she got out of the elevator, she saw a group of men in olive green uniforms from a distance, they had already left the building. Song Yan¡¯s back was particularly clear and bright. When Xu Qin ran through the crowd and out of the building, she only saw Song Yan¡¯s figure getting into the car last, and leaving. Xu Qin had no choice but to stop, panting lightly, and looked into the distance. Song Yan got into the car and closed the door. When the car started, he unconsciously glanced back towards the hospital, and saw Xu Qin standing in the courtyard in all white. In December, it was already very cold. She was originally staying indoors, wearing thin clothes, only a set of light green surgical scrubs under her white coat, and holed shoes on her feet. Her hair was randomly tied into a low bun, and her bare face had a blank expression, looking in his direction. Through the glass, two pairs of eyes faced each other. The car drove away quickly, and her figure floated away behind him. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin didn¡¯t stay where she was, it was too cold outside. When she returned to the office, she suddenly thought of Zhan Xiaorao and thought about what she would do if she had her disposition. At that moment, Xu Qin faintly realized that Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s setback that day would not be the end. And this confirmation came very quickly and intensely. The next night, Xu Qin saw Zhan Xiaorao again at Xiao Yixiao¡¯s bar. Since sitting together, Xu Qin had observed that Zhan Xiaorao had been playing with her cellphone all night, looking at it with alternating expressions of smiling and frowning. Her fingers sometimes swiped quickly on the screen, and other times stopped to hesitate and ponder. Xiao Yixiao asked: ¡°You¡¯ve been chatting all night, who are you so close to?¡± Zhan Xiaorao looked up from the phone, with a depressed face: ¡°One-sided chat. I sent dozens of text messages. I asked him out to eat dinner, but he won¡¯t reply. This man is so cruel.¡± She said to herself, ¡°It was so difficult to wait for him to be on vacation, if I miss it I¡¯ll have to wait even longer.¡± Jiang Yu asked casually: ¡°Which man did you fall in love with this time, for you to show such warm feelings but met with such cold rebuke?¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°Doesn¡¯t she always pester them?¡± Zhan Xiaorao: ¡°I¡¯m willing.¡± She added, ¡°If you like them, chase, if you don¡¯t like them, break up. Aren¡¯t you men all like this, why can¡¯t we women do the same?¡± ¡°Okay, okay, okay, I didn¡¯t say you couldn¡¯t.¡± Xu Qin quietly drank the alcohol in her glass. Zhan Xiaorao continued to send text messages from time to time. Xu Qin didn¡¯t know what she was sending, whether it was conversational or provocative. She couldn¡¯t guess, so she could only drink one mouthful of alcohol at a time. When it was almost eleven o¡¯clock, Zhan Xiaorao suddenly screamed and jumped up from the sofa: ¡°He replied to me!¡± As she spoke, she took out powder and lipstick from her bag to touch up her makeup: ¡°I won¡¯t hang out with you guys anymore, I¡¯m going on a date.¡± Xu Qin watched her paint her lips dark red, like a rose. Xiao Yixiao became curious: ¡°What kind of guy is it, for you to be so excited.¡± ¡°Fireman, my savior. He has a very good figure. I must have him.¡± Zhan Xiaorao beamed with joy, stuffed the cosmetics back into her bag, and left behind a smug sentence when she got up to leave, ¡°His name sounds very nice, Song, Yan. I¡¯m leaving.¡± Xiao Yixiao, Meng Yanchen, and Jiang Yu¡¯s expressions all changed. Xiao Yixiao and Meng Yanchen both glanced at Xu Qin from their respective directions. Xu Qin¡¯s face remained unchanged, drinking alcohol and eating fruit. After she finished eating, she wiped her hands with a tissue and got up: ¡°I¡¯m going to wash my hands.¡± In the hallway outside the restroom of the bar, a newly-acquainted couple hugged each other and kissed frenziedly. They will get a room tonight, have sex, maybe a one-night stand and continue together the next day, or become strangers. Xu Qin walked into the restroom, turned on the faucet, squeezed out some hand wash, scrubbed, rinsed; again applied hand wash, scrubbed, rinsed; repeatedly. Until, a girl who finished fixing her makeup and finished using the bathroom noticed something strange, and asked in a low voice, are you okay? (need ¡°¡±?) Only then did Xu Qin realize the sharp pain in the palms and backs of her hands. It was said that the hand was connected with the heart, so at this moment the heart must be hurting. She looked at her own hands, forgetting when she had developed this obsessive-compulsive disorder with cleanliness, and why she chose to be a doctor. All the memories of the past seemed to be useless. After washing her face, she calmed her emotions, returned to her friends, and sat with them for another hour. Looking at the happy crowd surrounding her, she suddenly didn¡¯t know how to return to that empty home tonight, or how to fall asleep tonight, so she simply closed her eyes and drank. She didn¡¯t have a very high alcohol tolerance. After drinking three glasses of whiskey in a row, she was already dizzy, and said she was sleepy and wanted to go home. Originally she wanted to take a taxi by herself, but Meng Yanchen and Xiao Yixiao insisted on sending her back, and watched her fall head first onto the bed, falling into a deep sleep. When heading back downstairs, Xiao Yixiao asked: ¡°Is she using alcohol to drown her sorrows?¡± Meng Yanchen was silent for a long time, but said: ¡°To gain courage.¡± ¡­¡­ It was a winter night, the moon was bright and clear. The alley behind Zong Lu Gardens was deserted. Meng Yanchen sat in the darkness of the car, staring at the back door of the complex. Xiao Yixiao leaned against the passenger seat, uncharacteristically silent. Sure enough, Xu Qin could be seen in the dim light. Her footsteps were a little wobbly, she left the complex and walked towards Wu Fang Street. Xiao Yixiao rubbed his forehead vigorously, then turned to look at Meng Yanchen. Meng Yanchen looked at her thin figure in the night, motionless. Xiao Yixiao sighed, got out of the car and followed. ¡­¡­ Wu Fang Street in the middle of the night was a bit frightening, the street was dark and quiet, and the rows of old-fashioned houses reflected a deep silhouette in the darkness. The tree branches were also bare and ghostly. Xu Qin¡¯s footsteps were slightly drifting, but she walked quickly through the streets and alleyways, and arrived at the front gate of the Zhai family courtyard. She walked up the steps and knocked on the vermilion lacquered door, which was tightly closed. She knocked hard twice, and the cold wind made her hands hurt. She knocked and knocked, and suddenly called out: ¡°Song Yan!¡± She seldom yelled. At this moment, her own voice echoed in the night sky, which sounded strange and unreal. ¡°Song Yan!¡± She knocked on the door harder and shouted louder: ¡°Song Yan!¡± Someone came to open the door. It was Zhai Miao, wearing a down jacket, shivering from the cold. When she saw Xu Qin, she looked surprised: ¡°What are you doing? Do you know what time it is?¡± Xu Qin pushed her away and walked inside, walking around the screen wall and the long corridor into the yard. Uncle and Aunt also came out from the main room with their jackets draped around their shoulders: ¡°It¡¯s the middle of the night, what¡¯s going on?¡± Xu Qin went straight to the west wing, knocked on the door, but lowered her voice slightly, calling: ¡°Song Yan,¡± as if she was afraid of waking up the person inside from his dream. ¡°Song Yan.¡± She knocked the door calmly, ¡°Song Yan, it¡¯s Xu Qin.¡± Zhai Miao ran over and yelled a little irritably: ¡°My cousin didn¡¯t come back tonight.¡± Xu Qin was obviously taken aback for a moment, stood there for two seconds, then pushed the door twice, but couldn¡¯t move it. Then she went to the window and looked in. The curtains were not drawn, and the duvet on the bed was neatly folded. He went out with another woman and never came back home. And now it was two o¡¯clock in the morning. Perhaps¡­¡­ Standing by the window, Xu Qin suddenly lowered her head and covered her face with her hands. There was no movement for a long time. The three people in the courtyard looked at each other for a while. Uncle gestured to Zhai Miao, and Zhai Miao rolled her eyes and walked over: ¡°He¡¯s not here, go home.¡± Xu Qin remained silent, covering her face, like a lifeless statue. Zhai Miao was freezing, and became irritable again. Just when she was about to flare up, she heard Xu Qin say something softly, as if she was talking to herself. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m going to die,¡± she said. ¡°There¡¯s no point in living.¡± This time, Zhai Miao was shocked awake: ¡°Don¡¯t be like this, what¡¯s the matter? Tell me what happened?¡± Xu Qin took her hands away, raised her head, but her face was unusually calm and still, she turned and walked away without answering a single word. Because of the alcohol, her body swayed a little. Zhai Miao didn¡¯t dare to let her go: ¡°Why don¡¯t you sit for a while¡ª¡± Xu Qin ignored her, and was about to go down the stairs to leave when she caught a glimpse of a pair of men¡¯s sneakers sitting on the steps. The shoes were large and clean. She stopped and stared at the shoes. Zhai Miao spotted them: ¡°Aiya, my cousin didn¡¯t put his shoes away.¡± As she said this, she bent down to get the shoes. Xu Qin¡¯s leg swung out, and a shoe was kicked into the yard. Xu Qin took a sharp breath, eyes filled with hatred, chased after the shoe, kicked it away forcefully, chased after it and kicked again. The shoe was kicked and rolled all around the courtyard, and she chased it all over the yard, kicking and chasing after it. Xiao Yixiao, who rushed over, ran in and grabbed Xu Qin, and apologized to the three family members: ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sorry, she¡¯s drunk and acting crazy. I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sorry.¡± The three of them were skeptical. Xiao Yixiao grabbed her waist and dragged her away. Xu Qin didn¡¯t make any noise, just struggled, her eyes stubbornly fixed on the shoe, insisting on kicking it. Xiao Yixiao simply covered her eyes and dragged her out. Xu Qin grabbed his hand but couldn¡¯t get it off, she was pulled away messily, and stepped on the shoe again in the chaotic struggle. Xu Qin kicked it again, the sneaker rolled further away and stopped at his master¡¯s feet . Song Yan walked down the corridor and stood still, looking down at the shoe at his feet, moved his eyes up, and looked indifferently at everyone in the courtyard. Aunt nudged Uncle and pulled him into the house. Xu Qin broke away from Xiao Yixiao and looked at Song Yan provokingly. Song Yan walked down the yard, passing her by without saying a word. Xu Qin: ¡°You stop right there.¡± Song Yan stopped. Xu Qin turned around: ¡°Where did you go tonight?¡± Song Yan¡¯s lips were tightly pressed together, he was already full of anger. He was willing to go out to meet Zhan Xiaorao because he wanted to warn her in person not to harass him any further, but unexpectedly learned that his phone number was shared by Xu Qin. Hell, what on earth did she take him for? Nevermind, it was good to come back, he could witness her throwing a tantrum again. Where did she get the confidence to go to his house in the middle of the night and make trouble? Song Yan put his hands in his jacket pockets and looked back at her: ¡°I went out with a woman, you know her, what¡¯s her name, um¡ª¡± He lowered his head, pointed his finger towards his forehead and thought for a while, ¡°Surname Zhan, called, Xiaorao?¡± Xu Qin was so provoked by his tone that the hatred in her eyes lit up, and she suddenly rushed up and pushed him hard. Song Yan took two or three steps back, stood still and looked at her, his face suddenly changed, his eyes filled with sarcasm and contempt: ¡°Xu Qin, you¡¯re being a little childish. What fucking right do you have to fight with me here?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s chest rose and fell, her whole body trembled, and she stared at him fiercely, but couldn¡¯t force out a word. She couldn¡¯t speak, she obviously had a lot to say, but she couldn¡¯t speak. She also wanted to have eyes that talked like Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s, so that people could see the happiness and sadness in them at a glance, but she just didn¡¯t have them. Her eyes were always as silent and oppressive as her person, driving even herself crazy. Xiao Yixiao¡¯s face was ashen, and he couldn¡¯t help but pull Xu Qin: ¡°Let¡¯s go. ¡ªWhat do you have to say to this kind of person? It¡¯s also important whether or not he is worthy of you.¡± Song Yan gave him a cold look, then turned to Xu Qin, his eyes were as cold as ice. Xu Qin refused to leave, and violently pushed Xiao Yixiao away. She raised her chin, looked straight at Song Yan, and said: ¡°Right. You don¡¯t deserve me, you just don¡¯t deserve me.¡± Song Yan looked at her silently for a while, and finally smiled, turning around and walking towards his room as if he just didn¡¯t care anymore. Xu Qin felt so distressed that she was about to shatter. ¡°Because¡ª¡± She stood in the wind and frost in the middle of the night, looking at his retreating figure, with a bleak smile on the corner of her mouth, ¡°I like you more than you like me.¡± Song Yan¡¯s footsteps stopped suddenly, and he couldn¡¯t believe it for a moment. ¡°I¡¯m not sociable, I don¡¯t like to make friends, finance, law, management, many careers are not suitable for me. Only a doctor, just needs to learn the profession well. And I will never be unemployed and can support myself.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s tears slowly filled her eyes, her heartache was so painful that she couldn¡¯t breathe. She took a trembling breath and looked up at the sky, her drunken body swayed and then stood still, ¡°I came back to China, changed my last name, and moved out. I was planning, bit by bit, to stop using things provided by my family. I was thinking, how can I keep my parents from being angry or objecting? To keep them from denying me as their daughter? If I work hard, quickly get promoted to become a first-class, famous surgeon, can they feel a little proud of me, so that they can let me indulge in other aspects?¡± She finished all this softly and disjointedly, and stopped. Song Yan turned around and saw in the silence of the night, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. She looked at him through the mist of tears, with deep resentment appearing in her eyes again, ¡°But what about you? What have you done? ¡ªSong Yan, let me ask you, what have you done in order to like me?! ¡ªYes, I kept wanting to get closer, but kept hesitating. I kept repeating, I¡¯m greedy and calculating, I¡¯m hesitant and weak, I can¡¯t see any hope, I¡¯m afraid, that¡¯s because¡ª¡± She opened her mouth to say something, tears rolling down first, she forced herself to grit her teeth, and finally lowered her voice, one word at a time, tearing open her most difficult wound, ¡°You never made even the slightest effort for the two of us to be together. Never.¡± There was a bitterness in Song Yan¡¯s throat, and his face almost twitched violently. ¡°Xu Qin, I¡ª¡± The pain in his throat was unstoppable, like a heavy stone was weighing down on it. What can he say, at this point, what else can he say now. Failure was an excuse, to cut a sorry figure was reality. Everything he had done, to say it now, would just be a joke and ironic. Tell the woman he loves about his sad and incompetent past, so as to beg her for forgiveness? Or, tell her that it was her most trusted and inseparable family member who pushed him to this point? He hadn¡¯t fallen to that level yet. After all this, he could only choose to remain silent. She waited, expectations turning to disappointment: ¡°I¡¯m right, aren¡¯t I? ¡ªSay it, aren¡¯t I?¡± Song Yan stared at her, speechless. There was nothing worse than this in life. There were thousands of words in his chest, but he couldn¡¯t say a single one. Xu Qin stared blankly at him, as if she had gotten confirmation, and immediately burst into tears: ¡°You don¡¯t like me, right? Do you not like me? ¡ªYou don¡¯t like me at all, otherwise you wouldn¡¯t have done nothing. You never even thought about being close to me!¡± The tears couldn¡¯t be controlled anymore, they flowed like crazy, she whimpered, wept, complained, ¡°You will just stand there, waiting for me to find you. Even if you see me fall, you will not come to give me a hand.¡± ¡°A person like you, why should I?! Why should I go to where you are?! Yes, I am selfish, and I am also selfish to the person I like. I just want to see that you have sacrificed for me before I will go to you. Otherwise what am I supposed to do? If I lose everything, but you¡¯re just standing in place, what should I do? I¡¯m not pure, I¡¯m the one arguing, I¡¯m the one who wants you to sacrifice as well, who wants you to walk just one step in my direction. But why won¡¯t you come?¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyes were wet, he instinctively took a step forward, and couldn¡¯t help but pull her towards him. She immediately grabbed his arm, kicking and punching, ¡°Why aren¡¯t you willing to take a step forward? ¡ªYour affection, I can¡¯t see it at all. I¡¯m telling you, I won¡¯t go towards you again, I won¡¯t!¡± Xiao Yixiao couldn¡¯t bear to watch it any longer, stepped forward to hug Xu Qin hard, and forced her to be pulled away: ¡°Let¡¯s go home!¡± Xu Qin couldn¡¯t break free this time, and finally burst into tears: ¡°Song Yan, why won¡¯t you come towards me?! I¡¯m here, why won¡¯t you come?! Is it that you don¡¯t like me that much? If you don¡¯t like me that much, why did you say those things, why did you say you love me more than your life? I took it seriously! I took it seriously!¡ª¡± The girl¡¯s heart-piercing screams quickly disappeared into the wind. Xiao Yixiao had already dragged her out. The yard was suddenly quiet, but there was the faint sound of a girl crying in the distance. Zhai Miao was stunned in place, with tears all over her face: ¡°That¡¯s not the case.¡± She rushed out of the front gate. ¡°Zhai Miao!¡± With a sudden roar, Zhai Miao was terrified and stopped in place. She heard the pain and despair in that sound with clarity. Zhai Miao turned her head slowly, suddenly she seemed to see a stranger, it was not Song Yan. Not her cousin Song Yan. That man seemed to have changed the moment Xu Qin left, his soul had left his body. Zhai Miao had never seen Song Yan like this before. His head was drooping, his shoulders were slumped, and his back was bent, as if there was an acute, twisted pain coming from inside his body. He seemed to be unable to bear it anymore, the pain made him crouch down slowly, holding his head tightly, unable to make a single sound. CH 27 Song Yan¡¯s liking for Xu Qin originated from that inexplicable desire to protect. He couldn¡¯t explain why, but he just wanted to watch her do her own thing quietly, whether it was walking around the campus alone with her schoolbag in her arms, or tidying up her desk during class, messing it up and arranging it neatly, and typing it up again after it was neatly arranged. Putting it in another way, it was fine not to communicate with anyone, as long as she liked it. What he wanted to do was to keep her from being disturbed, discussed, ridiculed, and bullied because of this strangeness and quietness. His friends couldn¡¯t understand how he could like Xu Qin. Call her beautiful, there were too many beautiful girls; call her excellent, her grades could only be regarded as upper-middle; call her gentle, really didn¡¯t see where gentleness was; call her generous, it was not even close to the top, the difference is hundreds of thousands of miles . A person like Song Yan, a person worthy of him was a big-hearted girl, she may not be lively, cheerful, or a show off, but she was sexy and wanton inside, and her gestures domineering. But Xu Qin did not like to speak, lacked expression, always lowered her head, and did not make eye contact with people. If you really looked at her, you would see the darkness of the void, as if looking at you and not looking at you. Defiant. But Song Yan just liked her, whoever says she was not good at all, he would beat that person up. His friends were puzzled, what he liked about her, and asked if there was any communication, but this woman didn¡¯t like to talk, and she didn¡¯t necessarily talk to Song Yan much, so why did he like such a boring gourd. At first Song Yan couldn¡¯t understand it himself, but this was not a business, he didn¡¯t need to understand, he was just happy and willing. He wrote his name on his school uniform, handed it to her, and said, ¡°Put it on.¡± She took it and put it on obediently, not caring that the clothes were big enough to be a dress. After wearing it for a long time, she carefully washed the clothes, waited to see him enter the classroom, then silently walked over to him with the clothes in her hands. He thought she was going to return it, and was about to take the clothes and put them in the drawer, but she held them tightly with her little hands. She pointed to the clothes, and it turned out that the handwriting on the back had faded. Song Yan was stunned, only then did he understand that she wanted him to write his name again. He wrote it again, and when he raised his eyes, he saw her pursing her lips, with a tiny trace of peace at the corner of her mouth. It seemed that at that moment, Song Yan¡¯s heart was clearly touched. She waited for him to finish writing, put her clothes on, and went back to her seat to read. This time, she didn¡¯t hang her head low. That peace of mind was naturally revealed many times later. He took her out to play, and three or two punks walked by on the way, and she couldn¡¯t help but approach him, grabbing the corners of his clothes before breathing a sigh of relief. He took her home to hangout, but she was a little cautious in front of his uncle and aunt, and just ran after him, like a little tail. He entered the main room and she followed him into the main room, he entered the side room and she followed him into the side room, he walked through the corridor and she followed him through the corridor, he walked to the corner, she followed to the corner, He turned around and smiled: ¡°You¡¯d also follow when I go to the toilet?¡± He took her roller skating and said, ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid, I¡¯ll watch over you.¡± Without saying a word, she ran forward. He took her to play with the trampoline and said, ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid, if you want to lose control, just call, I¡¯ll come and hug you right away.¡± Without fear, she jumped onto the trampoline. He took her to the billiard room to play, he was playing billiards, she came and pulled the corner of his clothes, pointed to a group of boys playing not far away, and complained to him: ¡°That man poked me in the palm with a cue.¡± He touched her hand, took out his phone and keys from his pocket and gave it to her: ¡°Hold it for me.¡± Went over to fight. The billiard room was in chaos. Xu Qin held the mobile phone key and ran to see, also helped to smash people with billiards, was pulled up by Song Yan and they ran together. Running out of the ball room, the group laughed. Song Yan smoked, squinted at her, and settled the score afterwards: ¡°You. Come here. ¡± Xu Qin walked over to him. He asked: ¡°Men fight, why did you get involved?¡± She turned her head away and didn¡¯t say anything. Song Yan frowned: ¡°Speak.With your small body, still want to beat people? Do you know how much you weigh? Huh?¡± She lifted her head and said, ¡°It¡¯s all about participation.¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡± The group of friends around laughed. Song Yan poked her forehead with his finger and said, ¡°Do you think the most important thing is to participate in the competition? Fists and feet don¡¯t have eyes, what should you do if you bump into them?¡± She said, ¡°With you here, why would I bump into it?¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡± He took her to skip class to play in the countryside and said, ¡°I kidnapped you and sold you for money.¡± She said, ¡°Can you sell me to a better family? ¡± He clicked his tongue, ¡°I don¡¯t know any good family.¡± She didn¡¯t even think about it: ¡°Your home.¡± He climbed through the walls of the house late at night and climbed to her window to smuggle her out to see the stars. She was not afraid of the dark and windy night, so quickly got out of bed, put on her clothes and sneaked out the door. Hand in hand with him running wildly on the empty streets in the middle of the night, laughing. She and he slipped up to Jingshan Mountain to see the stars in the sky. She was not afraid when he kissed her; she was not afraid when he put his hand into her clothes. Everything was like spring rain moistening the land, and the treetops were green, gentle and silent. Looking back suddenly one day, the silk rain had gathered into a stream, and the forest had become lush. One night, he took her out of her school dormitory and took her to a bar to watch a band perform. The young boys and girls shouted freely along with the song, and she watched without blinking, not integrated enough but not disgusted. Seeing halfway, she got up and left. Song Yan asked, ¡°Where are you going?¡± Xu Qin replied: ¡°Going to the toilet.¡± He got up to accompany her, and Xu Qin said, ¡°No need. ¡± He insisted: ¡°I¡¯ll wait for you outside.¡± On the way to the bathroom, the boys smoking were like wolves lurking in the night. There were boys and girls hugging and kissing, boy¡¯s hands running up and down the girl, and the girl making humming sounds. Xu Qin stared. He leaned down into her ear, ¡°What are you looking at?¡± Turned her head around. When Xu Qin reached the bathroom door, just as Xu Qin opened the door, a boy was standing by the sink with bare buttocks, and a girl was sitting on the table, with bare legs wrapped around the boy¡¯s waist. The two moved strangely and with great momentum. Xu Qin tilted her head to look. Song Yan was ready to wait for her outside, he was lowering his head to light a cigarette, when he turned his head and saw this scene, his eyes almost popped out, he immediately stepped forward to cover her eyes, and dragged her back: ¡°Children can¡¯t watch this.¡± Xu Qin grabbed his hand: ¡°Why can¡¯t I see it?¡± Song Yan scolded: ¡°Damn it, what¡¯s there to see in other men¡¯s butts? Are you looking for trouble?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Then whose can I see?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Mine.¡± Xu Qin was silent. He covered her eyes, took her in his arms, and walked out of the bar. It was pouring rain outside, and he ran with her down the street, drenched. Back at Wu Fang Street, it was already late at night. He took her by the hand, hid her behind him, and sneaked into the house. Uncle and the others had just fallen asleep, and he tiptoed across the yard with her in his arms. Just as he opened the door, his aunt¡¯s voice came from her room: ¡°Song Yan is back?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Eh! ¡± Aunt: ¡°You brat, what time is it?!¡± Song Yan raised an eyebrow at Xu Qin and pushed her into the room: ¡°Half past eleven.¡± ¡°¡­,¡± Aunt reprimanded, ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to bed yet?!¡± Song Yan entered the room and turned on the light. Xu Qin stood in front of him, drenched and shivering slightly because of the cold. Song Yan rummaged through the pile of clothes, found a T-shirt and threw it to her, saying, ¡°Go take a shower first.¡± Xu Qin whispered: ¡°What if someone comes to the toilet halfway through the wash? ¨C Then I will be discovered.¡± Song Yan turned his head to look at her, and after looking at her for a few seconds, his face became very unnatural. ¡­¡­ Song Yan opened the door and scanned the courtyard first, the main house and the east wing were quiet, and the rain was murmuring outside the corridor. Song Yan looked back at Xu Qin, who slipped up the corridor holding her clothes, hid behind him, and quickly entered the bathroom with him and locked the door. There was not much space in the bathroom, Song Yan avoided looking at Xu Qin since entering the door. He closed the toilet lid, sat on the toilet, faced the direction of the door, and said, ¡°You wash, I¡¯ll smoke a cigarette.¡± He looked down and lit a cigarette, and she went behind him to undress and take a shower. Neither of them spoke, seemingly deliberately avoiding each other. The sound of water pattering, his breathing became deep and slow inadvertently. After smoking a cigarette, he lowered his head and threw the cigarette butt. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of her in the mirror, standing naked under the shower, with a slender and fair body. He was clearly drenched, but Song Yan felt uncomfortably hot. It must be the steam from the shower. His gaze was straight and deep, staring at the girl in the mirror; in the mirror, she also happened to meet his gaze. But no one avoided it, as if there was some kind of unspeakable tacit understanding. Their eyes crossed on the sink. He took a deep breath, his chest heaving. Finally, with a restrained frown, he stood up, pulled his bath towel from the shelf, wrapped it around her body, and rubbed it up and down. Xu Qin was dangling in his hand. Even through the bath towel, the girl¡¯s body is unusually soft. He wiped her clean, turned his back and lit another cigarette, but remained silent. The breathing inadvertently became heavier. The bathroom was quiet. He was enduring. Xu Qin didn¡¯t get dressed for a long time, and suddenly asked: ¡°Did you see it just now?¡± Song Yan knew what she was referring to and said, ¡°I did.¡± In the shower, a few drops of water dripped on the floor. Xu Qin asked again: ¡°What were they doing?¡± Song Yan said: ¡°Communicating. ¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Oh. ¡± Song Yan looked into the mirror again, this time, the girl¡¯s body was facing him, and so were her eyes. Song Yan¡¯s eyes were dark, and he asked, ¡°Want to try?¡± Xu Qin pursed her lips and asked, ¡°Does it hurt?¡± Song Yan said, ¡°It will a little bit.¡± Xu Qin thought for a while, but didn¡¯t answer. Song Yan suddenly threw a cigarette, walked towards her, picked her up, and put her on the sink. Xu Qin was caught off guard and exclaimed in a low voice: ¡°Ah¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°Shh ¨C keep your voice down.¡± He leaned closer to her ear, panting slightly. She immediately covered her mouth with her hand, only showing her black eyes. He put her ears in his mouth and stroked her back; her whole body was trembling in his hands. Outside, the rain trembled; inside, the heat was steaming, covering the walls and glass little by little. She was teased and fascinated by him, but she still remembered his advice, bit her lips tightly, and did not make a sound. He was against her there, teasing enough, and he was about to break the city. ¡°Are you afraid?¡± he asked. She shook her head and said softly, ¡°I¡¯m not afraid.¡± ¡°Good.¡± He coaxed softly, his voice changed. In the next second, he sprinted in. ¡°Woo¡ª¡± A sob escaped from between her teeth, and he sealed it with a kiss. CH 28 There was a red alert for smog, the light and shadow in the courtyard were hazy. When you looked up, you could only see the red walls and ocher tiles above. The world was muddled, and the surrounding CBD buildings had long been hidden by the clouds of dust. Zhai Miao squatted on the steps of the entryway to the east wing, dilly dallying, tying and untying her shoelaces, tying and untying her shoelaces. The door on the opposite side opened with a creak, and Zhai Miao got up immediately: ¡°Ge!¡± Song Yan ignored her, went into the bathroom next door, squeezed out toothpaste and brushed his teeth. Zhai Miao ran in, she could see in the mirror that his eyes were bloodshot, and there were faint black circles below them. He was a bit dispirited, probably because he hadn¡¯t gotten any sleep. Zhai Miao stood by the door and asked in a low voice: ¡°Will you go meet her?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t answer, rinsed his mouth, bent down, used both hands to splash some water to his face, dried his cheeks with a towel, and shaved his stubble. The electric razor buzzed. Seeing that he was unwilling to speak, Zhai Miao sighed, grabbed the strap of her backpack and turned to leave. Feeling that it was too unbearable, she came back to him again: ¡°Ge, I just want to remind you a little, she was drunk.¡± Zhai Miao said: ¡°She only cared about venting, she was irrational, and the problem between you two has still not been resolved. If you rush over like this, what if things become entangled and unclear again?¡± ¡°I know.¡± Song Yan said, twitching the corner of his mouth. Zhai Miao was taken aback. Song Yan didn¡¯t say much more, and lifted his chin to look at the mirror, shaving the stubble on his chin. After they went their separate ways in Si Xi Di, she had stopped contacting him for nearly a month and a half, which was already enough to prove that she had no further plans to. If Zhan Xiaorao hadn¡¯t disrupted things and provoked her, time and reason would have gradually worn away everything. Little by little, if their fate takes an unexpected turn, being in the same city but never meeting again, it would mean another ten years of silence. In any case, what this woman was best at was dullness and silence. Zhai Miao lamented: ¡°Then you still¡ª will go to meet her? Ge, you are 28 now, not 18. If you torment yourself again, you will be ruined!¡± Song Yan lowered his head, put down the razor, rested his hand against the sink, was silent for a while, and asked: ¡°Zhai Miao, after what happened last night, what will happen if I don¡¯t go to look for her?¡± Zhai Miao was a woman, so naturally it was very clear: ¡°Then I won¡¯t look for you again even if I die.¡± ¡°So I need to go find her.¡± Song Yan looked into the mirror again and continued to shave. Zhai Miao was stunned, speechless. Yes, he had no other choice. If you go, there may not be a good outcome; but if you don¡¯t go, the outcome would inevitably be doomed. It was just that the situation had reached a point of no return, and ultimately he was still reluctant to let go. Zhai Miao said softly: ¡°Ge, do you really like her that much?¡± Song Yan remained silent. Zhai Miao: ¡°Didn¡¯t you say it before? That it¡¯s okay not to meet. It¡¯s fine not to meet.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°But since she came to me, I have to go meet her.¡± Zhai Miao didn¡¯t understand, and turned to look in the direction of the front gate: ¡°Is she here?¡± Song Yan had already cleaned himself up, walked out of the bathroom and returned to his room: ¡°Go to school, don¡¯t worry about my business.¡± ¡°Hey¡ª¡± Zhai Miao was about to say something, but Song Yan had already closed the door. ¡­¡­ When Xu Qin woke up and realized that she was in the Meng family home, she couldn¡¯t help but be surprised. She knew that she was drunk last night, but she didn¡¯t understand why Meng Yanchen and Xiao Yixiao had brought her here. And she had no way to ask, it was now nine o¡¯clock in the morning, everyone had gone to work. Well, at least she could be alone for a while. She rolled over, closed her eyes, and buried her head in her arms. What happened last night, although the details were blurry, the outline was clearly remembered ¡ª she went to Song Yan¡¯s house drunk and acted crazily. Her cheeks were hot and burning, but she was more annoyed than ashamed¡­ Shouldn¡¯t have drank, shouldn¡¯t have gone to look for him while delirious. She had poured another layer of ice over the already frozen relationship between the two, pushing a standstill into a deadlock. At this point, if they didn¡¯t make abrupt changes, it would be the end. But making changes was easier said than done. Her phone rang, it really was Song Yan. Xu Qin didn¡¯t know whether to feel happy or worried, she hesitated for a few seconds, then answered the phone: ¡°Hello?¡± Song Yan¡¯s voice was quiet: ¡°It¡¯s me.¡± Xu Qin also whispered: ¡°I know.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Are you awake?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°En.¡± There was a brief silence. Song Yan asked again: ¡°Where are you?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°At home.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I¡¯ll come to find you.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°The home on the west side.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t answer for a moment, and there was another brief silence. Xu Qin: ¡°Wait for me for a while, I¡¯ll be back soon.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Okay¡­..let¡¯s do that then.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°En.¡± Putting down the phone, Xu Qin buried her face in the pillow, she had pushed herself to the edge of being torn apart ¡ª if it wasn¡¯t Song Yan, it would be her family. There was no room to retreat anymore. All kinds of complicated thoughts filled her mind, she had a splitting headache. She finished washing up quickly, and went downstairs to go out, when she turned her head inadvertently, and saw the door to Fu Wenying¡¯s study was unlocked at the end of the hallway. Xu Qin thought she was at home and went over to say a greeting. When she got to the door, she realized that there was no one inside, just that the maid forgot to close the door after cleaning. Xu Qin casually went to pull the door closed, glancing over the study room, unexpectedly finding that the furnishings inside hadn¡¯t changed a bit over the years. The last time she entered Fu Wenying¡¯s study was when she was young. She looked at the mahogany desk, the dark vermilion carpet where the peonies bloomed, and her breathing sank slightly. She suddenly saw the younger Meng Qin standing there with her head down. Fear made her slender legs tremble slightly. Fu Wenying sat aside with an icy expression. She stepped forward, pulled Fu Wenying¡¯s arm, and whispered: ¡°Mom¡ª¡± Fu Wenying shook off her hand: ¡°I¡¯m not your mother, I don¡¯t have a disobedient child like you.¡± She said nothing, just trembled. ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you before that you are not allowed to date outsiders? You¡¯re not being moral and self-respecting, if you want to be with him, then you don¡¯t need to study, don¡¯t need to come back to this household, don¡¯t need to call me mother anymore!¡± She was in a daze for a long while, and then tugged at her in a panic: ¡°Mom¡ª¡± Fu Wenying opened her hand again, carried an icy expression for a long time, and finally issued an ultimatum: ¡°Qin Qin, if you listen to your mother from now on, mother will send you to study abroad and give you the best life; but if you want to act out of your own accord, and don¡¯t care about this family, mother will send you back to Liang City right now, and will never let you come back to Di City. From now on you will have no father, mother, brother, and no home. Even if you go to cry in front of your father and brother it will be of no use, I¡¯ll do as I say.¡± She was in a daze, and slowly took her hands off the corner of her mother¡¯s clothes. Fu Wenying got up to leave, but she finally said softly: ¡°Mom, I will listen to you.¡± Xu Qin remembered that back then, that silent little girl stood there without a word of excuse or shed tears, she accepted everything silently. And the image of her standing there, isolated, helpless, and about to be abandoned, was just like the image of her standing outside her parents¡¯ bedroom when she was a child and watching them argue about wanting a divorce and saying they didn¡¯t want her anymore. It became a nightmare she could never get rid of. Xu Qin closed the door, stood there for a while, put on her face mask quietly, and left. ¡­¡­ When Xu Qin arrived at the entrance of the Zong Lu Gardens community, Song Yan had already arrived, smoking a cigarette under an evergreen tree. He was wearing a gray slim coat, and at first glance, he looked a little thin. Spotting Xu Qin, he put out the cigarette. Xu Qin had covered her face with a mask, only her eyes were exposed, and asked: ¡°Why didn¡¯t you wear a mask?¡± The smog was heavy today. Song Yan said: ¡°Forgot.¡± Xu Qin took one out of her pocket and handed it to him: ¡°I brought an extra one.¡± Song Yan took it, lowered his head to put it on, and asked: ¡°Have you had breakfast?¡± Xu Qin shook her head. Song Yan¡¯s eyes stopped at her eyebrows and asked: ¡°What do you want to eat?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes stopped at his mask, and she replied: ¡°I want to eat congee.¡± Song Yan: ¡°What kind?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Plain congee¡­¡­with nothing else on it.¡± There was no plain congee sold in the congee shops in this area. Xu Qin said: ¡°I have water and rice at home.¡± The two walked towards the community together with tacit understanding, without saying a word. After entering the elevator, they stood on either side, separated by a short distance. Their gazes deliberately avoided coinciding with each other, and even if they met, they always fell on the eyebrows, below the nose and lips, passing by each other. After returning home, Song Yan opened the cupboard, saw a brand new bag of rice, and asked: ¡°Why did you buy rice when you never cook at home?¡± ¡°It was issued by the hospital.¡± Xu Qin said. Song Yan asked: ¡°When did they issue it?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Forgot.¡± Song Yan looked down for the imprint on the bag: ¡°It won¡¯t expire, right?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°How can rice expire?¡± Song Yan saw the production date clearly: ¡°It doesn¡¯t have one.¡± Song Yan took out the bag of rice and asked: ¡°Do you have scissors?¡± Seeing her blank eyes, ¡°¡­¡­Well, a kitchen knife is fine too.¡± Xu Qin found a kitchen knife and handed it over. Song Yan cut open the packaging bag, and Xu Qin handed over the soup pot. Song Yan scooped a cup of rice in and put it under the faucet. Xu Qin was puzzled and asked: ¡°Is that enough?¡± Song Yan glanced at her. Xu Qin: ¡°It looks like very little.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°There will be more after cooking.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Oh.¡± Song Yan washed the rice, added water, put it on the stove and lit it, after two or three strikes, there was no flame. Song Yan bowed his head and tried again, while asking: ¡°When was the last time you used natural gas?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin pursed her lips and said, ¡°It¡¯s never been used.¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin probably wanted to make up for it, so she turned to look for her phone: ¡°Maybe it¡¯s broken, I¡¯ll call the property owner.¡± ¡°Wait.¡± Song Yan stopped, squatted down, opened the cabinet to find the pipe, took a look, and said, ¡°The valve is not open.¡± He turned the valve, got up and started the ignition again, and it ignited. ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°Amazing.¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Song Yan put the lid on the pot, took a step back and leaned on the sink to wait for the water to boil, he stared at the jumping flames, but not at her, and asked: ¡°You never eat at home?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°En.¡± Song Yan: ¡°What do you eat? Takeout?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Takeout, and at the hospital cafeteria.¡± She also stared at the soup pot on the stove, not looking at him, and asked, ¡°What about you?¡± Song Yan said: ¡°There is a cafeteria at the base. ¡­¡­If I¡¯m resting at home, Aunt will cook.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°Auntie cooks delicious food.¡± Song Yan: ¡°En.¡± There was a gap of one or two seconds of silence, the flames touched the bottom of the pot, and the rice water was gurgling. Xu Qin continued the topic: ¡°Is the food in your cafeteria good?¡± ¡°Not bad.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°How about you?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°So-so, not very tasty.¡± ¡°Well. The food in the army is pretty good, it should be better than the hospital.¡± When Song Yan said this, he turned his head unconsciously and glanced at Xu Qin. Xu Qin felt his movements from the corner of her eye, and turned her head reflexively to look at him as if giving a response. Their gazes intersected in one place and they happened to look into each other¡¯s eyes, very serious and straight. Hearts thumped inadvertently. Since meeting up earlier today until now, they had avoided and avoided, but were still caught off guard, gazes colliding for the first time. The water boiled, the congee was gurgling, gently lifting the lid off the pot. The soup splashed onto the stove, making a sizzling sound. Song Yan looked away, got up and went to lift the lid. Xu Qin also followed unconsciously to watch, the bubbling rice soup fell back, the rice grains were tumbling in the rolling water, and the aroma of clear porridge overflowed from the pot. Xu Qin wrinkled her nose. Song Yan asked: ¡°Hungry?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°En.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Wait a little longer.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yan put the lid back on, leaving a gap this time. He took a step back and leaned back on the counter. Xu Qin naturally followed him to rest against the counter. The two continued to wait for the congee to bubble. Maybe it would be good if they could wait like this forever. In the end, it was he who broke the illusory silence and called her: ¡°Xu Qin.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°En?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Do you remember everything you said yesterday?¡± Xu Qin lowered her eyes and said quietly: ¡°Some I remember, some I don¡¯t.¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan asked, ¡°You said, you won¡¯t come to me again, do you remember this sentence?¡± Xu Qin nodded, and then said: ¡°I remember.¡± Song Yan: ¡°This time you didn¡¯t drink right?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°No.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Do you still say that now?¡± Xu Qin lowered her head and covered her face with her hands: ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± A short silence. ¡°If I come over to you, can you wait?¡± Song Yan asked, and before she could answer, he smiled briefly, ¡°Waiting with uncertainty, even I feel wronged for you.¡± The future was unpredictable. She was afraid, and he was not necessarily without pressure. Xu Qin let go, turned her face to look at the floor of the living room: ¡°Song Yan, I don¡¯t know what to do now. I don¡¯t know what to ask of you, what to ask of myself. I don¡¯t know how to face you, how to face my family. I¡ª¡± ¡°I know you are afraid and reluctant to let go.¡± Song Yan said, with a slight self-deprecating tone, ¡°I also want to tell you, as long as you are resolute, let me handle the rest. If you dare to, I can take responsibility. ¡°But I know, these words are useless.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes turned red all of a sudden, she quickly turned her eyes away and blinked away the mist. Yes, even if he was with her to face her family, she would be still afraid and reluctant to let go. The burden on that end of the scale was too heavy. He was undoubtedly aware of this. Xu Qin trembled: ¡°It¡¯s because I don¡¯t have enough courage.¡± Song Yan shook his head and smiled very lightly: ¡°To be honest, I feel guilty for putting you in such a situation.¡± The tip of Xu Qin¡¯s nose was also red, and she said softly: ¡°I know. I know how you are¡­¡­¡± She couldn¡¯t go on. Song Yan was also silent, and took a long time to take another breath, calmly said: ¡°I can guarantee that I will treat you well, treat you well every day, never betray you, never be cold, and do my best to create a better life for you. But what I can¡¯t guarantee is whether this ¡°well¡± will meet your requirements and your family¡¯s requirements.¡± Xu Qin had nothing more to say, all her hesitations, her worries, her unease, had all been expressed to the greatest extent by him. ¡°I know you are in a difficult position. I also know that if you really are together with me, you¡¯ll be wronged. I understand it all, but¡ª¡± Song Yan paused for a full ten seconds, and finally said, ¡°You can no longer keep barging into my life so unscrupulously.¡± His tone was calm, and after careful consideration, he pressed the final seal on their relationship: ¡°Be together, or never see each other again, make the decision.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head, moved her lips, then pursed them tightly again, and a tear fell down. CH 29 The smog outside the floor-to-ceiling windows was thick, and there was no trace of the sky in sight; the living room was quiet, only the white porridge on the stove was gurgling. Xu Qin leaned on the edge of the open flow table, lowered her head, and a tear fell silently, just like her, quiet and silent. Time passed minute by minute, and she did not speak. The gushing white porridge lifted the lid again, telling her that the time was up. She was motionless, like a clay sculpture. Silence, like a century. The porridge lifted the lid again and again, suddenly overflowing, dripping on the stovetop. Song Yan finally stepped forward and turned off the gas. The boiling porridge fell silent instantly, and the rice grains rolled a few times in the rice soup and quickly subsided. The mist stained Song Yan¡¯s eyes. He said nothing, turned away, and did not say a word of farewell. At the moment of passing by, Xu Qin¡¯s eyes suddenly surged with a wet blur, and in the crystal water flashing vision, his trouser legs flashed. Another tear fell, and she froze in place, clutching the sink with both hands, but there was no movement at all. She heard him go to the porch, change his shoes and go out, closing the door behind him. Silence fell. The room was so quiet that only the sound of her own trembling breathing remained. The tears could no longer be stopped, and the tears fell as large as beads, she covered her mouth tightly, not making a sound, only her shoulders shaking all at once. She couldn¡¯t help herself, her body arched down, she almost couldn¡¯t stand upright, and when her body rose and fell uncontrollably, she suddenly stopped. Hands gripped the table, restrained. Finally, she stopped. Xu Qin stood in place for a while again, calmed down, and then gently raised her finger to wipe the wet mist on her eyelashes, stepped forward to the stove, opened the lid of the pot, the steam gushed up, and the fragrance of rice porridge came to her face. She took out the chopsticks and bowl from the cupboard, rinsed it, put a bowl of porridge out, stood by the stove, scooped it up with a spoon, blew hot air, and put it in her mouth. Mouthful after mouthful, a little hot, so hot that her tears slipped silently again. She wiped her cheeks casually, continued to blow, and ate the porridge. It was really strange, it was clear that no ingredients have been added, no seafood, no vegetables, no sugar and salt, just plain white rice porridge, how could there be sweetness? How could there be a natural and pure sweetness that no other porridge could match? She sniffed, wiped the tears that kept dripping from her face again, and finished one bowl and served a second bowl. Standing by the stove, she ate the whole pot of porridge alone. She washed the pots and chopsticks clean, wiped the stove clean, and everything returned to its original state as if nothing had happened. She had to go to work at noon, and the doctor¡¯s job was so good, she was so busy that she didn¡¯t have time to care about her mood. Whether it was good or bad, it didn¡¯t matter, and you didn¡¯t care. It couldn¡¯t be better for her. She packed herself up and went downstairs. She met Meng Yanchen, who came to see her, and said to take her to lunch. Xu Qin said: ¡°I have already eaten.¡± She wore a mask, couldn¡¯t see her expression, and her eyes were as light as ever, only slightly red, revealing her emotions. Meng Yanchen probably guessed what had happened, worried that she was driving, and said, ¡°I¡¯ll take you to the hospital.¡± Xu Qin did not refuse. When the car drove onto the road, Xu Qin suddenly spoke: ¡°Actually, you didn¡¯t have to send me home yesterday, even if you didn¡¯t remind me, I wouldn¡¯t dare.¡± Meng Yanchen drove the car without making a sound. ¡°What are you afraid of, Meng Yanchen? Think that if my wings are hardened, I will leave everything behind and fly away?¡± Xu Qin looked out the window and asked softly, ¡°Do you know how beast trainers train beasts? ¨C When the beast is small, beat it, lock it up, starve it; pet it, hurt it, feed it. When it grows up and has strength, as long as it sees the whip and the basin, it does not dare to resist and does not dare to go to the wild again.¡± Meng Yanchen¡¯s adam¡¯s apple rolled, and a trace of extreme pain overflowed his face. Xu Qin seemed to be telling someone else¡¯s story. ¡°You all say he doesn¡¯t deserve me, but in fact, I don¡¯t deserve him. With him, I feel that I will hurt him anytime and anywhere in the future, because¡ª¡ª¡± Xu Qin said in a calm tone, ¡°I am a despicable person.¡± ¡°Just like in the beginning, if I didn¡¯t change my surname, I wouldn¡¯t be your sister, and I could continue to like you. However, if I¡¯m not a member of the Meng family, I will have to lose that family and become helpless. If I like you about this, I want to lose my parents, lose my family¡¯s shelter for me, lose my beautiful room and delicious dinner, and lose the right to live a relaxed life, brother, it¡¯s better not to like you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I want everything, I wanted my parents at that time, I wanted you, and now I want Song Yan, but there are some things that I am destined to get. And I, as for me, have no courage, no guts, dare not face anything, only escape. There is no ability to love, and there is no qualification to love. I don¡¯t deserve any of you to love me. It¡¯s true.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± For so many years, she had never expressed the slightest emotion about her original love, and she had suppressed it all in her heart. More than ten years have passed before there was this sentence. Meng Yanchen¡¯s heartache was numb, and his eyes were sour for a while, and he almost couldn¡¯t restrain it. He quickly lowered the window, let the cold wind in, and took a deep breath with the biting wind, only to barely suppress the turbulent emotions. But compared to the pain, another faint fear pervaded the heart. It was as if he sensed that something in Xu Qin¡¯s body was dead. It was as if her future would be more silent and quiet than her past, dark without light. He wanted to say something to her, but they had no more chances to communicate with her. The commute to work was very short, and they soon arrived at the gate of the hospital. When Xu Qin opened the door, Meng Yanchen suddenly suggested: ¡°Let¡¯s go abroad.¡± Xu Qin stopped. Meng Yanchen said: ¡°Qin Qin, let me take you abroad, and never return to Di City, okay?¡± Xu Qin was silent for a moment, as if after serious consideration, but finally shook her head and got out of the car. Half an hour before going to work, Xu Qin went to the psychiatric department to find her alumnus from abroad, Dr. Pan Qingqing. Xu Qin wanted to find her to prescribe some medicine to help with sleep and mood conditioning. Pan Qingqing refused at first, and asked her to lie down and chat for half an hour. But the alarm clock on the wall went moment by moment, half an hour passed, and Xu Qin didn¡¯t say a word. No matter how enlightened Pan Qingqing was, she was silent like a mute. Pan Qingqing was helpless, and finally had to prescribe medicine to her, did not dare to give more, and asked her to come over every few days to get it. Xu Qin put the medicine away and left silently. ¡­¡­ Zhai Miao was called back by her mother during class, saying that something had happened at home. She took a taxi all the way home, and when she got home, she opened Song Yan¡¯s door in a panic, but she didn¡¯t find anything unusual. It was nothing more than a thick curtain drawn in broad daylight, the room was dark, and Song Yan was covered with an overcoat, lying on the sofa and sleeping. As she pushed open the door, the sunlight tore through the darkness and shone right on his face, and he woke up from the stabbing light, his face crumpled. Zhai Miao breathed a sigh of relief and walked over: ¡°My mother said let me come-¡± Abruptly stopped, she smelled a strong smell of alcohol. Since becoming a soldier, Song Yan had not been stained with wine for more than ten years. This was especially true after being a firefighter, even if he was on vacation, he would never drink alcohol, in case he was urgently recalled for temporary assignments. Zhai Miao knew that he was really hurt. She was flustered, saw the fallen empty wine bottle next to the sofa, and was shocked: ¡°You drank it all?¡± The light piercing made Song Yan uncomfortable, he frowned, a painful expression passed over his face: ¡°Close the door.¡± Seeing that he was still conscious, Zhai Miao was slightly relieved and went over to close the door. The interior was once again dark and the smell of alcohol was pungent. Such a big man collapsed on the sofa, Zhai Miao felt uncomfortable seeing him like that. She sat down on the ground and stabbed him cruelly: ¡°How is it? I told you that her drinking and talking don¡¯t count. You didn¡¯t listen, you insisted on running to find her. Look what happened, you got dumped.¡± She thought that Song Yan would choke back and scold her, at least to vent his emotions, but he didn¡¯t; his voice was hoarse and low, and said: ¡°En. She didn¡¯t choose me.¡± Zhai Miao¡¯s heart suddenly became uncomfortable, and she was about to suffocate. The brother of such a treasure of the whole family, the brother she admired so much, was spoiled like mud, and she scolded angrily: ¡°She¡¯s blind!¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t speak, just shook his head. What to say, the person was too tired, covered his eyes with his arms and slept. In the dimness, Zhai Miao saw that his lips were dry, which was caused by excessive alcohol and dehydration. He was breathing very heavily, and all at once, he was panting extremely hard in the midst of waking up like a dream, he was really drunk and uncomfortable. Seeing this, Zhai Miao was in so much pain that she couldn¡¯t bear it anymore: ¡°You should give up this time, right? Ge, if you feel uncomfortable, you can vent it out, okay? You can do whatever you want. But I beg you, you don¡¯t talk to her anymore, okay? What¡¯s wrong with her? I¡¯ve never seen such a weird person like her. She looks so cold all day long. What are you dragging¡ª¡± Song Yan: ¡°You fucking shut up.¡± When he said this, his breath was very weak, like a sleeping person tired and being woken up. He frowned tightly, rolled over on the small sofa, breathing low and deep, as if he had continued to sleep. Zhai Miao didn¡¯t dare to quarrel with him, and stayed on the side, thinking that he was really asleep, but listened to him dryly speaking: ¡°She is not that kind of person.¡± Another long silence. Zhai Miao sat in the dark, not speaking or commenting, waiting for him to continue. He turned his back to her, breathed deeply and shallowly, and whispered: ¡°She is the most low-self-esteem and timid person I have ever met.¡± ¡°Obviously she wants to be crazy, wants to be wild, wants to be free, wants to disobey and do bad things, but she doesn¡¯t dare. Pretending to be tough and strong, mean to people, actually strong on the outside, and vulnerable inside. Her character¡ª¡± He paused for a long moment, and actually laughed, ¡°If she really marries someone in her circle, she will be bullied to death.¡± He smiled, and tears flashed in his eyes with laughter: ¡°She will be bullied to death.¡± Zhai Miao had tears in her eyes, looked up at the sky, and gritted her teeth: ¡°Who can blame her own chosen path?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t make a sound again. Blame him, can¡¯t give her the courage to choose him. For so many years, he had never regretted every choice he made, but, If back then, he could kneel down and beg that person¡­ CH 30 The following week in Di City was unusually dark and deserted. The red alert for smog lasted for seven days, and the PM2.5 value soared to over 500 several times. Schools were closed, small shops were closed, and some companies, such as emerging industries in the CBD and foreign companies, had closures to allow employees to work from home. But these were just a few. Most of the office workers who were running around for their livelihood were still squeezing into the subway, sitting on the bus, driving their private cars, running along on their own paths. Their faces were covered by anti-smog masks, and their eyes were dazed and numb. On this day, at 7:30 in the morning, the city had just barely awoken, but Song Yan had already led his team to finish a firefighting mission in the second half of the night. In the winter morning, the temperature was very low. The firefighters were covered in ashes, cold and tired, and exhaustion was written on everyone¡¯s face. They parked next to a fire hydrant on the side of the road to wash the vehicle and hose. While filling the truck with water, Song Yan sat on the curb and smoked, probably because he was tired, his mind was empty and he didn¡¯t think about anything. The surrounding visibility was less than ten meters. The overcast weather would stifle one¡¯s mood. The head of the squad was here, and several members came over and sat around on the ground. Song Yan passed the cigarette carton to them and each took one, silently puffing. Everyone had toiled all night long and didn¡¯t want to talk much. And didn¡¯t dare to. Anyone with a discerning eye could see that something was wrong with Captain Song these days. Coming back from vacation this time he was more depressed than last time. You couldn¡¯t see any difference when going out for missions or training, he was as rigorous and serious as before, would joke around with but also lecture others; but once things settled down, he seemed a little dispirited. It was as if someone had stretched his muscles and broken his bones. No one dared to ask. The winter morning air was cold and acrid, making everyone¡¯s expressions tremble. Xiao Ge wrinkled his nose, red from the cold, and said: ¡°I want to take a hot bath right now.¡± Jiang Yi said: ¡°I don¡¯t need to take a shower, just give me a place to lie down and let me sleep for three days and three nights.¡± Yang Chi: ¡°Keep dreaming. There is still physical training today.¡± Xiao Ge was still obsessed with his dirty appearance, saying: ¡°Every time I come back from a mission, I only have this one wish.¡± Tong Ming heard it, and smiled foolishly: ¡°My wish is to have some hot water to drink, the tap water is too cold.¡± Li Cheng did not speak, but looked eagerly at the breakfast shop across the street. The nearby residents were eating breakfast, steam rushing out, the aroma assailed his nostrils. Yang Chi turned his head and asked Song Yan: ¡°Ge, what about you? Every time the mission is over, what do you want the most?¡± Song Yan smoked, looked at the group of young people who were pale in the wind, and said: ¡°For everyone to be present.¡± Everyone was stunned for a moment, then grinned. ¡°Stop laughing, each one of your fucking faces is darker than the next.¡± Song Yan took the last puff of his cigarette, twisted the cigarette butt from his mouth and pressed it out by his feet, stood up, ¡°Everyone leave.¡± The group of youths followed and got up from the ground: ¡°Time to go back.¡± Song Yan raised his chin and pointed to the opposite side: ¡°Fill your stomachs first.¡± ¡°Okay!¡± The crowd cheered. A bunch of people walked towards the breakfast shop, covered in dust. The people around hurried past, some cast a curious but short glance, some frowned at their messy appearance, some turned a blind eye and continued their day¡¯s journey. Everyone was used to the prosperity and stability of this city, just as they were used to its coldness and desolation. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin had been sleeping drowsily for a week, the sleeping pills she got from Pan Qingqing helped. She didn¡¯t know if she slept well, but at least she was able to fall asleep. On the days of morning shifts, she gets up at 7:30. While washing, the morning news was playing on the TV in the living room, house prices had risen together with PM2.5: ¡°House prices in the eight districts of Di City continue to rise, with an average price exceeding 62,000 per square meter; among them, the blocks by Qi Feng Road takes the lead in the whole city, the average price of the high-end community Zong Lu Gardens even reaches 140,000 per square¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin washed her face, thinking about the upcoming selection of attending physicians. If successful, the scope of her surgeries will be greatly expanded, and her salary will also increase significantly. Just after washing, the phone rang. It was Fu Wenying calling, saying that it was a routine call to ask if she was doing well. But Xu Qin knew that she wanted to ask about her recent blind date. Xu Qin went on a blind date again. When Fu Wenying proposed it, she had objected, but to no avail. The other party was the son of a certain minister, rich and handsome, knowledgeable and talented, he said to Xu Qin: ¡°You don¡¯t have to do anything, you don¡¯t even have to go to work, marry into my family and enjoy life with peace of mind, as long as you bear a son.¡± Even Jiang Yu had been better. Xu Qin said: ¡°I don¡¯t like him.¡± Fu Wenying sighed: ¡°Why do you look down on him?¡± Xu Qin was silent for a long time, then said softly: ¡°Mom, I¡¯ve said before, I have someone I like. Can you¡ª¡± Suddenly there was such an impulse in her heart, she wanted to make a protest, but the words had only just begun, and could see no end, she knew that she was powerless. The turbulent thoughts that had arisen without a head just now subsided in an instant without a tail. Fu Wenying waited calmly for a while, realizing that she didn¡¯t dare to speak, she just asked: ¡°Qin Qin, what mom told you back then, you haven¡¯t forgotten right? Listen to what mom says, okay?¡± After hanging up the phone, Xu Qin stood there for a while, looking at her watch, it was time to go to work. She went to the living room to get the remote control to turn off the TV, when the figure of a firefighter appeared on the screen: ¡°Yesterday afternoon, a child accidentally got stuck in the revolving door at the entrance of Xin Tian Di Plaza. The Qi Feng Road Fire Squadron rushed to the rescue after receiving the report¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin¡¯s fingers slowed for a second, as if her thoughts had slipped, or as if there was a disharmony between her brain neurons and her fingers. After coming back to her senses, she quickly turned off the TV, took the keys and headed out. But it was like a crack had opened in a glass bottle filled with sand, and hands desperately tried to stop it, but the sand continued to leak out of the crack. With her back against the elevator wall, she stood in the downward elevator, her eyes were full of images of him leaving her home silently that day. On the way to the hospital, she stopped at a red light, and her eyes saw the images again. She forced her mind to go blank and not to think about it. When this compulsive subconsciousness was about to collapse, she quickly turned her head to look out the car window, only to see the dusky smog with tall buildings hidden within. The whole world was desolate and depressing. Caught off guard, a red car sped past her line of sight. The car body was as bright as fire, drawing a streak of color against the gray background. In an instant, the barrier of thinking was broken, and she suddenly thought: at this time, in another corner of this city, what was Song Yan doing? On another block, Song Yan and the soldiers under him were huddled in a small shop for breakfast. Everyone was already hungry, youtiao, soy milk, noodles, soup dumplings, and steamed dumplings were all served on the table, and whatever they could get their hands on was delivered into their mouths. The indoor heating was high, and the tables were next to the steamer in the kitchen. The faces that were pale in the cold wind not long ago gradually turned rosy. Song Yan didn¡¯t eat much, and he wasn¡¯t in a hurry. He looked up at his brothers from time to time, all young soldiers from all corners of the country. The youngest was nineteen years old, and the oldest was only twenty-five. By next year, he may leave; some of them would end active service next year, unable to stay and need to resettle, and face changing jobs. Iron-clad army camps with overflowing soldiers, most soldiers could not continue to work in the army. Xiao Ge sucked on the noodles and asked Jiang Yi: ¡°Jiang ge, where do you plan to go after retiring next year?¡± Jiang Yi smiled: ¡°Go back to my hometown and see if I want to be a security guard or do auto repair.¡± Li Cheng said: ¡°Think of other paths, you can also go into entrepreneurship to do specialty fire management.¡± Jiang Yi said: ¡°There are so many soldiers that retire every year, how can that be up to me? Besides, I am from the countryside. It doesn¡¯t matter if I don¡¯t have a background, but I can¡¯t trust anyone.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t say a word, but buried himself in eating noodles. Working in firefighting all these years, every year they would send their comrades to retire and demobilize. Everyone was born in poverty and had no way out. The skills learned in the team had nowhere to be used outside in society. They could only return to their hometowns to do some unskilled work to make ends meet. Come in obscurity, leave in obscurity. Song Yan changed the topic: ¡°The higher ups said that the salary will be raised next year.¡± Everyone was excited: ¡°By how much?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Three hundred.¡± Everyone was very happy, Yang Chi calculated silently in his heart, and smiled happily: ¡°That¡¯s great, it¡¯ll be four thousand five hundred a month.¡± Li Cheng envied: ¡°I only have around three thousand.¡± Yang Chi said: ¡°You just got here, let it simmer.¡± Li Cheng nodded: ¡°Yeah.¡± Song Yan smiled very lightly, and said: ¡°From next year, the system will be reformed, and weekends will also be off on rotation. It won¡¯t be so tiring.¡± Li Cheng looked indifferent: ¡°Anyway, I have nowhere to go on vacation.¡± Xiao Ge glared at him: ¡°Sleep. I¡¯m exhausted from this day-to-day.¡± Yang Chi: ¡°Xiao Ge, you are tired all day long, do you use your right hand too much?¡± Xiao Ge: ¡°I¡¯ll kick you to death!¡± When the boys were frolicking together, a young girl walked by the table, Xiao Ge inadvertently turned his head and looked, following her with his eyes. Song Yan looked over and saw that the girl was about the same age as Xiao Ge, petite and delicate, she bought breakfast and left. Song Yan looked at Xiao Ge again, and saw in his eyes the most primitive love and desire of young men for women, which was fleeting. When Xiao Ge turned his head back, the smile disappeared, and he looked down at the black ash all over his body, and fell silent. Song Yan drank the soy milk, feeling so complicated that he didn¡¯t know what to think. It was at this moment that he thought of his girl. These days he was busy training and on duty, not thinking about her. But when he thought of her now, it was like a sharp knife pierced his heart, a hole was torn open, and cold wind poured into it. He had fallen short. ¡­¡­ The smog was getting heavier day by day, schools continued to be closed, and hospitals continued to operate as usual. These days, Xu Qin didn¡¯t order takeout anymore, ate in the cafeteria at lunchtime, and found that the food was becoming more and more unpalatable. When she was about to throw it away, she thought of Song Yan again, remembering that he said that the food in the army base was better. That¡¯s right, soldiers needed physical strength the most, and they couldn¡¯t do without a good meal. But her job also required physical strength, and after thinking about it, she reluctantly ate a few more bites. Unlike outpatient clinics, there was no lunch break in the emergency department, and you had to rush back to work after lunch. This afternoon, Xu Qin completed an operation as the chief surgeon. Although the difficulty of the operation was not small, the degree of completion was very high. At the end, Xu Qin found that Professor Xu Ken was watching in the observation room next door the whole time, with a serious expression on his face, she was unable to tell if it was good or bad. Seeing that the operation was over, he turned and left expressionlessly. Xu Qin quickly packed herself up and ran out to chase after Professor Xu Ken. ¡°Professor Xu!¡± Xu Qin ran all the way into the stairwell, and the safety door slammed shut behind her. Xu Ken stopped. ¡°I saw that you had watched the operation just now, and I would like to ask you for advice. Do you have any suggestions or pointers for me? Your opinions are very valuable. Thank you.¡± The answer was: ¡°Your technique is perfect, I don¡¯t have much to teach you.¡± Xu Qin knew Xu Ken¡¯s personality well, he wouldn¡¯t say polite words, that¡¯s for sure. But¡ª ¡°But you still have a problem with me, don¡¯t you?¡± Xu Ken said: ¡°You treat patients like you treat a rabbit in an experiment.¡± Xu Qin had always been aware of the differences between Professor Xu and her. She thought it was a difference of opinion between people, which was harmless; and she had always disliked talking and communicating with people, so she had never pointed it out. But now, the selection for attending physicians had entered a critical juncture, and this disagreement may affect her promotion. If relying on the Meng family¡¯s connections, she would be confident of success, but this time, she hoped to rely on herself like never before. Forced onto this path, there was no way back. She might as well open up this discussion. Xu Qin said: ¡°Professor Xu, you and I look at medicine in different ways, but we have the same goal, as long as we save people. You think that doctors need heart and emotion, but I don¡¯t think there is anything wrong with me solving problems using the attitude of a calm and cool-headed spectator, it¡¯s nothing more than a difference of opinion.¡± ¡°Medical professionals should be human first.¡± Xu Ken did not answer directly, but asked instead, ¡°Doctor Xu, do you remember the oath you made when you chose the path of medicine?¡± Xu Qin was slightly stunned, her eyebrows furrowed slightly. ¡°I will uphold the honor and noble traditions of the medical profession. I will give the greatest respect to human life.¡± Professor Xu said after reading this oath, ¡°You lack the most basic respect for life, and you have violated the doctor¡¯s oath. The honor and tradition of medicine are not in the hands of people like you. It is precisely because you are an extremely gifted surgeon that it pains me so much.¡± After Professor Xu finished speaking, he went downstairs and left. Xu Qin stood where she was, with a difficult state of mind. Professor Xu Ken¡¯s words seemed to shock her slightly, but the shock was too pompous-sounding, and she didn¡¯t seem to be that touched by it. This feeling was like a spider¡¯s thread wrapped around her heart, untouchable but lingering. When Xu Qin pushed open the security door and went out to the hallway, she raised her head unintentionally, and was greeted with a jolt in her heart. She saw Song Yan, dressed in an olive green military uniform, with a straight figure, standing by the window at the end of the corridor. Xu Qin didn¡¯t react for a second or two, she didn¡¯t know why he appeared here at this moment in time. This was also the first time she had seen him wearing a military uniform, a military cap, and a tight belt, which made his shoulders appear wider and his back straighter. Tall and long-legged, the whole being was heroic, tall and straight like a poplar. Song Yan originally was looking to the side, as if sensing something, his eyes moved over and fell on her. She had just gotten off the operating table, wearing a light green surgical gown, gray hole shoes on the soles of her feet, and a surgical cap on her head. Looking at him at this moment, her eyes were slightly narrowed, and her expression was still numb. The whole person could be described by three words: dirty, messy, and poor, extremely unkempt. Xu Qin was stunned for a second or two, and the first thing she did after she realized it was to quickly tear off the surgical cap on her head, her long black hair fell instantly. She hastily patted at her hair twice, and was about to walk in his direction unconsciously. She leaned forward and hadn¡¯t taken a step yet. Remembering the promise they made to never see each other again, she quickly stopped and turned in the opposite direction. After turning around, she found that there was a wall behind her, no way out¡­¡­ She had to turn back to face him again. Song Yan¡¯s eyes were still, watching her frantic movements from afar. Xu Qin¡¯s gaze avoided him, she walked towards him boldly, hurriedly, and headed straight to the corner of the hallway between the two of them. Reaching the corner and about to turn, the safety door beside Song Yan was pushed open, and Deputy Director Liu of the hospital¡¯s logistics support department came out: ¡°Sorry, sorry, Captain Song, I kept you waiting. The people below me were careless, and the information got mixed up you see ¡ªeh? Xiao Xu?¡± Doctor Xu, who had been called out by a higher-up, calmly came to a stop. CH 31 Xu Qin clutched the surgical cap in her hand, turned her head, and passed over Song Yan¡¯s face: ¡°Deputy Director Liu.¡± Deputy Director Liu was in charge of logistics support. He was usually a warm and friendly person, with a smile in his eyes when he spoke. He immediately introduced Xu Qin with a smile: ¡°Xiao Xu, this is Song Yan from Shi Li Tai Fire Squadron, Captain Song.¡± Xu Qin nodded and looked at Song Yan. Under the military cap, his face was heroic. ¡°Captain Song, this is the youngest and most promising surgeon in our hospital, Xu Qin, Doctor Xu.¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan responded, nodded, and looked at Xu Qin. When Xu Qin met his dark and heavy eyes, her heart skipped a beat, but she didn¡¯t look away. She stood opposite to him in silence, one second, two seconds, when it was about to turn into embarrassment, Song Yan nodded slightly at her and said: ¡°Hello.¡± Xu Qin looked up at him hastily, nodded and said: ¡°Hello.¡± Her clumsiness was too obvious, Deputy Director Liu smiled and helped: ¡°Our doctor Xu is superb in medical skills, but she is not sociable and doesn¡¯t like to talk. This is the first time we¡¯ve met, we will be in Captain Song¡¯s care.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°You flatter me.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s face was slightly hot, and her gaze dropped slightly. Looking at the three stars on his shoulder badge, she raised her eyes again after half a second, and asked, ¡°Song Yan, Captain, are you here to do business in the hospital?¡± Before the words finished, a cold smile flashed in Song Yan¡¯s eyes; Deputy Director Liu¡¯s expression also changed, he looked at Song Yan in embarrassment, then immediately patted Xu Qin on the shoulder, and said with a smile: ¡°Xiao Xu, our hospital will conduct a fire drill next week, the documents were distributed to all the departments last week.¡± Xu Qin recalled: ¡°I don¡¯t think so¡­¡­¡± Song Yan¡¯s expression was calm, and Deputy Director Liu was busy making up for the omission: ¡°Xiao Xu, you must have been too busy, and forgot.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°See, Captain Song is here today to go over the drill.¡± Deputy Director Liu said, ¡°Xiao Xu, you are busy, we¡¯ll go first.¡± He then led Song Yan away. In a hurry, she looked at him again, but the next moment they brushed shoulders, and his epaulets flashed past. Xu Qin took two steps, and looking back, Song Yan¡¯s figure was unusually handsome and slender. He quickly walked around the corner of the hallway, his side profile became more handsome, but it was fleeting. He didn¡¯t look back. Xu Qin put her hands in her pockets, turned and left, feeling very calm in her heart. Returning back to her office, she heard several nurses¡¯ discussion before entering the door, Xiao Xi said: ¡°Don¡¯t even think about it, Doctor Xu will definitely object.¡± Xu Qin walked in and asked, ¡°Object to what?¡± ¡°The emergency notice was issued just now, there will be a fire drill in the courtyard.¡± Xiao Bei said, ¡°Everyone just needs to cover their noses with towels and run downstairs while bending over. But Doctor Xu, you have been selected.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Selected?¡± ¡°Play the role of trapped medical staff and patients.¡± Xiao Bei said. Xiao Xi added: ¡°And one who was left alone after rescuing the trapped people.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xiao Dong: ¡°Perhaps Doctor Xu looks the most like the one who will be alone¡ª¡± Xiao Nan nudged her, and Xiao Dong shut up. Xu Qin said: ¡°En, I¡¯ll play this role.¡± As she spoke, she took the detailed procedure book for the fire drill and read it carefully. Several nurses looked at each other. Xiao Dong said in a low voice: ¡°Why do I feel that Doctor Xu doesn¡¯t seem to be unhappy.¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°That¡¯s right, I have the same impression.¡± Xiao Xi: ¡°Whether she¡¯s happy or not, isn¡¯t it all the same?¡± Everyone shook their head: ¡°No.¡± The next day, the north wind blew away the smog, the sky was blue and clear. When Xu Qin got up early, she went to the balcony and opened the floor-to-ceiling windows to ventilate the room. She saw the busy scene of Wu Fang Street downstairs. At this time, the shops should be busy opening; the CBD area in the east was full of cars and people, and the white-collar workers were walking fast, rushing to work. Looking up, the sky was vast. Such blue skies lasted until Thursday of the week after, which was the day of the hospital fire drill. The practice drill was set on the 5th to 7th floors of the comprehensive ward building. Nearly a hundred medical staff and patients were ready for the exercise. Xu Qin played the role of a doctor patrolling the ward in the hallway. When the clock pointed to 3:30, the fire alarm in the corridor suddenly sounded, and Doctor Zhu from the Cardiac Surgery Department yelled: ¡°It¡¯s on fire!¡± In an instant, thick smoke filled the corridor, and everyone took action. Some called to report the fire, some ran downstairs quickly, some covered their mouth and nose with a wet towel, and some helped the patients go downstairs. Everything was in order. After all, it was a drill, and without a sense of crisis, everyone took it easy, some were still playing with their phones, and some seemed to find it funny and shouted for help, help. According to the script, Xu Qin was trapped in the dispensing room next to the nurse¡¯s station. After she locked herself in the pharmacy room, she looked at the shelves full of bottles and cans, and suddenly realized that the script was unreasonable. How could she, a doctor, come to the pharmacy room? This was obviously a role for Xiao Nan, Xiao Bei, and the others. Nevermind, just be the one left out. Compared to running down with everyone else while covering their noses, she stayed here alone, but ended up in peace. Xu Qin had nothing to do, casually flipped through the prescription list on the shelf, and guessed what disease the patient had and what surgery he had. After reading the fourth dispensing list, the sound of fire sirens pierced through the air in the distance. Xu Qin was taken aback, the speed was too fast. Looking at her watch, it had been less than three minutes since the alarm went off. Xu Qin walked to the window, opened it and looked out, but did not see the truck, only heard the sound of the siren getting closer, and the vehicles on the street hurriedly avoided it to give way. Soon, three fire trucks drove from two directions. Xu Qin remembered that it was written in the exercise notice issued by the hospital that this time the ¡°firefighting¡± operation would mobilize two fire squadrons, Qi Feng Road and Shi Li Tai, with more than 20 firefighters present at the scene. The fire truck drove into the courtyard and stopped, the fully armed fire officers and soldiers quickly jumped out of the truck and surrounded the team leader and instructor. Xu Qin saw Song Yan at a glance. He was wearing a dark blue firefighting suit, standing in the center of the crowd, analyzing the situation with those around him and arranging tasks. After the order was issued, the crowd quickly dispersed, some directly entered the ¡°fire site¡±, and some began to set up high-pressure water cannons. It was only then that Xu Qin realized that the fire drill really required spraying water, and as time passed, the smoke on the floor became thicker. Xu Qin didn¡¯t pay much attention to this exercise, and didn¡¯t bring a wet cloth. Now, thick smoke poured in from the window through the door, choking her to cough. She rummaged through the medicine box and found a roll of medical gauze and a bottle of normal saline. After knocking it open, and wetting the gauze, she covered her nose squatted down to lower her center of gravity. The high-pressure water gun from outside continued to spray water into the room. There was the sound of water rushing in the ward, corridor, and stairwell. The ¡°trapped¡± medical staff shouted for help and reported their location to the firefighters. Xu Qin squatted indoors for a while, when she heard hurried footsteps outside, she clutched her nose and ducked to the door, opened a crack and looked out. The hallways were full of water stains and smoke, and firefighters were rescuing ¡°trapped¡± medical staff and patients. It wasn¡¯t her turn yet. Xu Qin closed the door, stepped back, and continued to wait. After waiting for a long time, no one came to rescue her, but the smoke gradually dissipated. After all, there was no real fire, and a large amount of smoke could not be released continuously for a long time. Xu Qin waited for more than ten minutes, but still no one came. Gradually she realized that she had been forgotten, and that if there had been a real fire, she would have already been burned to death. This realization caused her to frown slightly. She had thought that at least one of the firefighters would not leave her behind. With a stab in her heart, she decided to end this boring role-playing immediately, and just as she was about to get up, someone walked up. Song Yan pushed open the door of the dispensing room, glanced around the room, and saw Xu Qin squatting on the ground covering her mouth and nose with gauze. Song Yan didn¡¯t look surprised, and asked: ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it a fire drill? I¡¯m the one who was left alone.¡± Xu Qin took off the gauze, stood up, and said unceremoniously, ¡°If it was an actual situation, what you found just now is a corpse.¡± Song Yan was silent for half a second, and asked: ¡°If you don¡¯t call for help, who would know you¡¯re here?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She said: ¡°Isn¡¯t it written in the exercise plan that one person was left alone and locked in the dispensing room?¡± Song Yan looked into her eyes: ¡°No. We don¡¯t know the exact location on our end.¡± Xu Qin tried to defend herself: ¡°The exercise plan didn¡¯t say that I should call for help¡ª¡± After finishing speaking, even she felt that her own attitude was not correct. Song Yan stared at her deeply, as a silent admonition. Xu Qin remained silent and stopped being stubborn. At this moment, a few nurses from the nurses¡¯ station came over. They were people who sneaked away from the drill, and they were still discussing what to have for dinner later. Song Yan turned his head slightly, glanced over his shoulder, and quietly looked at the nurses. The nurses were startled by his gaze, and quickly left hand in hand. Xu Qin stood in the dispensing room, feeling that she was a student skipping class who had been caught and made an example of by the homeroom teacher. But the homeroom teacher obviously disdained to talk to her. Song Yan gave Xu Qin a warning look, turned around and left. Seeing this, Xu Qin followed and walked out. Song Yan stopped: ¡°Where are you going?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°You found me, shouldn¡¯t you rescue me?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t know if he thought she was ridiculous, so he laughed: ¡°The fire has been burning for almost half an hour, and no one can come up to save you. Stay right here for me.¡± Xu Qin could hear that he was serious, so she stood still and asked in a low voice: ¡°Then how do I get out?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Wait for the fire truck to be raised.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin was silent for a while, before realizing, ¡°Is that the metal platform that looks like a crane?¡± Song Yan corrected her description: ¡°Lifesaving platform.¡± Xu Qin felt helpless when she imagined that she was going to be transported down like a load of goods under everyone¡¯s watchful eyes. She lowered her head and rubbed her neck: ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yan walked out of the dispensing room and was about to close the door. Suddenly, the floor under his feet shook, and without warning, the whole building began to vibrate, and the bottles and cans filled with liquid medicine in the dispensing room shook violently, bing-bing-bang-bang. The two were stunned at the same time, their eyes immediately found each other. Xu Qin was still in a daze, but Song Yan suddenly rushed towards her with big strides. The bottles on the medicine racks on both sides crashed down and smashed onto the ground, splashing glass pieces and medicine in all directions. Song Yan protected Xu Qin¡¯s head, held her shoulders and quickly pushed her to the corner. His tall body shielded her in the corner, covering her tightly. The building was still shaking, and the medicine bottles were smashed onto the ground, like water balloons exploding one after another; several nurses outside the dispensing room screamed for help, this time they knew it was not a drill. Xu Qin huddled in the corner, her heart thudding. The wall behind her was shaking, but his body in front of her was extremely firm and stable, his palm was still pressing tightly on the back of her head. The rough fabric of the firefighting suit rubbed against her face, her sight was blocked, she couldn¡¯t see or hear anything, only the sound of her heartbeat in this corner. Exceptionally safe. The vibration lasted for nearly ten seconds and then stopped. Song Yan stood in his original position for another two or three seconds, making sure everything was all right, and quickly let go of her. Xu Qin was still short of breath and asked, ¡°Is it an earthquake?¡± ¡°En, it should be near Di City.¡± Song Yan looked stern, and walked to the window to look down. Yang Chi was standing on the lifting platform raised by the fire truck, clutching the railing tightly, it probably shaking a lot just now. Song Yan asked: ¡°Are you okay?¡± ¡°I¡¯m okay!¡± Yang Chi replied. Song Yan glanced at his team members in the courtyard, counted the number of people, there was only one missing. ¡°Where¡¯s Xiao Ge?¡± ¡°Here!¡± A head protruded from the window on the fourth floor. Song Yan: ¡°All return to the team!¡± Before Xu Qin had time to say anything, Song Yan turned around and walked out, stepping on the shards of glass all over the floor. After taking two steps, he realized something, looked back at the shoes on the soles of Xu Qin¡¯s feet, and walked back to Xu Qin¡¯s side. Without warning, he suddenly wrapped his arm around her waist and picked her up with one hand. Xu Qin hung onto him abruptly, her heart hanging in the air along with her body. He carried her, stepped on the glass shards and medicine stains, went out the door, put her down, and walked away without looking back. CH 32 The smoke in the hospital passage had cleared, the water flowed all over the ground, the place that had been busy for many years was rarely empty at this moment. Just after the fire drill, all personnel were evacuated. There were no patients in the wards, no doctors in the corridors, and no nurses in the nurses¡¯ station. It was secluded and quiet, with a strange atmosphere. Xu Qin quickly descended the stairs with her hands in her pocket, and when she left the inpatient building, she saw everyone rushing to the street in panic. Song Yan and the others had already boarded the fire engine and were driving out. Among the crowd against the current, Xiao Xi and Xiao Dong pulled Xu Qin and walked outside: ¡°Doctor Xu, hurry to the street to avoid it.¡± ¡°The earthquake was so scary just now, aren¡¯t you afraid?¡± Xiao Nan exclaimed. As for Xu Qin¡¯s memory of the earthquake just now, only everything related to Song Yan remained, his tall body, and his powerful arms. Her perception of earthquakes was clearly vastly different from those around her. When she arrived in the open field, she realized that the situation was serious. The roads and vehicles were blocked, the street was crowded with people, the black mass was full of heads, and people from the office buildings in the nearby commercial buildings rushed onto the street. Everyone looked blank and panicked, asking and comforting each other: ¡°What just happened? It¡¯s terrifying!¡± ¡°Our office is on the 20th floor, we were scared to death!¡± ¡°Is it an earthquake?¡± ¡°How could Di City have an earthquake?¡± ¡°Will it continue to shake?¡± ¡°So what to do?¡± ¡°No signal on your phone! Whose phone has a signal?¡± Someone shouted. For a while, everyone looked at their mobile phones. ¡°There really is no signal!¡± ¡°How so?¡± ¡°It won¡¯t continue to shake, will it?¡± The tone of the crowd was even more alarmed. On the crowded street, there was a terrifying aura that spread rapidly. Several doctors and nurses gathered in one place, anxiously waiting for communication to be restored. Fire trucks were slowly driving out of the crowd, and several firefighters stuck their heads out and shouted, ¡°Let go! Make way!¡± Xu Qin heard Song Yan¡¯s shout, looked at the fire truck, and realized what he meant by the phrase ¡°all return to the team¡± shouted from the window. For earthquake rescue, the fire department must be the first to dispatch. Song Yan had already sensed the seriousness of the situation, and he was going to rush back to prepare for standby. The fire truck drove away little by little, the crowd was still panicking, waiting for the exact news, and finally, out of nowhere, a shout came out: ¡°There was an earthquake in Wangxiang!¡± The crowded street suddenly fell silent for a second. In the strange dead silence, suddenly, a girl next to Xu Qin cried loudly, crying and calling her relatives, but no one answered. ¡°My mom is not answering the phone¡ª¡± The girl dialed the unanswered phone over and over again, crying. In all directions, cries were heard everywhere in the crowd. People nearby gathered around to comfort the crying people, saying that maybe communication had not been restored there, or maybe the family did not have their mobile phones. Xu Qin immediately looked back in the direction where the fire truck left. Wangxiang, that was where she and Song Yan had memories. In the line of sight, there were still traces of fire trucks. Soon, earthquake information spread rapidly along the social networks ¨C Wangxiang earthquake, magnitude 6.4. Almost the entire county was razed to the ground. Wangxiang was originally a county seat under the jurisdiction of Di City, the farthest from the city center¡ª100 kilometers, and was later delimited from the jurisdiction of Di City and included in the jurisdiction of the Lin Province. Wangxiang County was located in the mountains, had inconvenient transportation, both ends neglected, so the county was barren and backward. The crowd on the street did not disperse, and the discussion became louder. When everyone was calling and swiping their phones to spread messages about the disaster and nearly crippled the internet, soldiers and doctors were the first to act. Song Yan and the firefighters had rushed back to the camp, changed their equipment, collected their equipment, and prepared to assemble, only waiting for orders from their superiors. Xu Qin and her colleagues¡¯ mobile phones vibrated in unison the moment they resumed communication, and came to notify ¨C immediately rushed to the large conference hall. The Third Military Hospital was a military hospital, and it was imperative to send medical teams to the disaster area. The president held an emergency mobilization meeting and delivered an impassioned speech in front of hundreds of medical staff. The doctors and nurses in the audience had solemn expressions. Xu Qin was as usual, she didn¡¯t listen to the dean¡¯s high-sounding big principles such as ¡°party members¡±, ¡°love¡± and ¡°feelings¡±. But at the end of the mobilization meeting, she went to the podium with other excited colleagues, signed her name on the petition, and chose the first team. It was not enough to say how empathetic she was. But the word ¡°saving people¡± was written in her scope of responsibility, and it could not be neglected, nothing more. At this moment, Song Yan on the other end was ready to go. When the superior gave the order to rush to the disaster area to rescue, the fire officers and men of the Shi Li Tai Squadron had already gathered under the national flag. Fifteen minutes after the earthquake, people on the streets have not yet dispersed, and the public were still sharing and spreading information on social media. The first batch of disaster relief medical teams from the three hospitals had been assembled and had taken the oath before departure, with seriousness and responsibility written on everyone¡¯s face. ¡°I volunteer to go to the disaster area, with my conscience and dignity to practice medicine to save people, to save lives and help the wounded, and work tirelessly¡­¡± Xu Qin calmly read the oath, and suddenly, for some reason, she remembered Professor Xu¡¯s criticism. And the passionate oath of her colleagues still echoed in her ears, and for a moment, she seemed to see her days of studying abroad, as if she saw the vow she had made: I will uphold the honor and tradition of medical skills, and I will give the greatest respect to human life. Even under threat, I will never use my medical knowledge to endanger human rights and justice. I solemnly and voluntarily swear by my personality. As Xu Qin muttered, the movement of her lips became smaller and smaller, and she fell silent inexplicably. ¡­¡­ At the same time, on the playground of the Shi Li Tai Fire Brigade, the national flag flew under the blue sky. ¡°Stand at attention¨C!¡± The officers and soldiers held their heads high. Song Yan faced the national flag and took all the fire officers and men to take the oath before departure: ¡°I volunteer, to go to the disaster area to fight the earthquake and provide disaster relief!¡± Officers and soldiers said in unison: ¡°I volunteer, to go to the disaster area to fight the earthquake and provide disaster relief!¡± ¡± ¡°Overcome all difficulties and obstacles!¡± ¡°Overcome all difficulties and obstacles!¡± ¡°Race against time to save lives!¡± ¡°Race against time to save lives!¡± ¡°Obey orders and be disciplined!¡± ¡°Obey orders and be disciplined!¡± ¡°A solemn promise to every life!¡± ¡°A solemn promise to every life!¡± ¡°We will never give up!¡± ¡°We will never give up!¡± The soldiers¡¯ loud oaths echoed over the playground. Song Yan: ¡°Go!¡± ¡­¡­ ¡­¡­ ¡­¡­ The county seat of Wangxiang was in the mountains, and along the way, you could see small villages scattered in the mountains and forests, broken walls and ruins, deserted. The road into the township had collapsed, the traffic department was rushing to repair, Xu Qin and her convoy took a long detour, and it was already dusk when they reached the center of the township. The simple and quiet town in Xu Qin¡¯s memory no longer existed. The whole town was like a huge garbage dump after the end of the day, almost not a single building or shop was intact, and the winter sun hung over the ruins, dead silent. The villagers were dressed in rags. Some were stained with blood and sat staring blankly at their own door; Some lost loved ones, covered their faces and cried; Others lay motionless on the road, already corpses. In ten seconds, a city was destroyed. After the car traveled only five hundred meters, Xu Qin saw an orange color, which was the rescue suit of the firefighters. A team of firefighters worked on the rubble of a collapsed supermarket, and soldiers in camouflage uniforms were helping. ¡°Slow down, slow down!¡± ¡°Carry that side, carry that side!¡± ¡°Pry up over there, pull over here!¡± ¡°Be careful not to crush his legs!¡± It seems that someone was rescued, ¡°There¡¯s someone down there!¡± Too far away, Xu Qin squinted her eyes and analysed for a while, it was not Song Yan¡¯s team. The further you went, the more people you get. Soldiers of an artillery company distributed the first batch of supplies thrown from the air to the victims; another team of People¡¯s Liberation Army (PLA) erected makeshift housing in the school playground; another wave of armed police teams went around to maintain order, guiding the victims to gather safely in the open space; more soldiers scattered around, looking for cries of help and helping victims find survivors in their collapsed homes. At this time, at the other end of the small city, Song Yan was digging people from the collapsed hospital, and the surviving townspeople were helping on the side. Everyone rushed to the golden time of rescue, and did not dare to relax for half a second. Unable to get on the crane and bulldozer, Song Yan ordered everyone to carry it with their bare hands and on their shoulders; More than a dozen people stood in a row, and bricks and cement were relayed out one by one. Soon, the surface ruins were cleared by them, and in just one hour, seven wounded people were dug up one after another. But the further down the reinforced concrete block, the larger the load-bearing structure, the deeper the person was buried. The pace of rescue began to slow. Under the rubble came a constant cry: ¡°Save me. Help me.¡± Some of them could be seen, some were buried deep inside. Sweat and dust covered Song Yan¡¯s head, and he shouted hoarsely: ¡°I won¡¯t leave you guys behind!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid, we won¡¯t go!¡± ¡°Save your strength, don¡¯t fall asleep!¡± Xiao Meng, the police dog, found the nearest survivor and barked with his tail wagging. It was a young man who was stuck in the gap under the cement prefabricated slab together with a pile of rubble. The other end of the cement slab was pressed by a huge wall with a large pile of stones on the wall. When Song Yan led people to come up with a solution, the young man under the ground cried out in fear: ¡°Is it possible that I can¡¯t be saved? Don¡¯t leave, please.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t go, I will definitely save you.¡± Song Yan unscrewed a bottle of water and passed it in from the mouth of the ruins, ¡°Don¡¯t cry, drink some water first.¡± After speaking, he wiped the dust from the young man¡¯s face with his hand. The wall was too big and heavy to be moved and pushed. There was no way, so Song Yan called a few team members to dig up the ruins first, and everyone jumped into the pit to support the prefabricated concrete slab together, and then asked the team members above to smash the wall with a hammer. The hammer fell to the ground, and Song Yan, Yang Chi, Xiao Ge, Xiao Fei firmly held on to the cement slab to prevent it from collapsing and smashing the survivors. The manpower above had some reservations, and didn¡¯t go full strength. Song Yan couldn¡¯t bear it: ¡°Jiang Yi, you didn¡¯t eat?! How many people are waiting here?¡± Jiang Yi and the others had to smash the hammer ruthlessly. Dust debris fell on their faces, and Song Yan clenched his teeth fiercely without saying a word. The young man knew what they had endured for him, so he burst into tears. ¡°Don¡¯t cry!¡± Song Yan wiped the tears from his face for him, ¡°There¡¯s nothing to cry about.¡± The young man raised his left hand to wipe his tears, but he became more and more sad. His right hand was pressed under a stone, dripping with blood. Song Yan tapped him on the shoulder, chatting with him distracting him, lest he get emotional and bleed more: ¡°What do you do?¡± ¡°Doctor.¡± Song Yan stopped for a second: ¡°What subject?¡± ¡°Surgery.¡± Song Yan was silent. ¡°I can¡¯t get my hand back.¡± The young man cried. ¡°Today, there are many people whose lives cannot be saved.¡± Song Yan panted slightly and said, ¡°You can¡¯t do this, you can change careers, you are still young, and living is the most important thing.¡± The young man wiped his tears. ¡°Being a man, if he falls, he has to find a thousand ways to get up.¡± The young man cried and nodded. Suddenly, with a loud bang, the wall was finally smashed, and Song Yan and the others¡¯ shoulders suddenly felt light. ¡°One, two, three!¡± The cement board was lifted. Song Yan and the others immediately lifted the gravel from the young man¡¯s body and lifted him up from the bottom of the pit, the people above stretched out their hands in unison, picked him up, carried him down the ruins, and sent him to a stretcher. The townspeople immediately took him to the makeshift emergency center. Song Yan and the others climbed out from the bottom of the pit, not caring about the injuries on their shoulders, and immediately went to save the next person. Half an hour ago, Xu Qin had already rushed to the temporary emergency center and quickly began to work. Emergency centers were temporary for military personnel. Before Xu Qin and them, three medical teams had arrived. Due to the different ways of working and the fact that there were too many injured people, the scene was a little chaotic for a while, but fortunately, everyone was conscientious and responsive, and there was no delay in the circumstances of the patient¡¯s condition. Several major surgeries were underway in the makeshift operating room, and Xu Qin received the injured in the consultation hall with other doctors for initial medical treatment. For simple skin trauma, nurses cleaned and bandaged, and severe cuts and lacerations were performed on the spot for minor surgical suturing. Just after stitching and cutting the thread of a wounded patient with a torn back, someone outside shouted: ¡°Serious injury! And are there any surgeons?! It¡¯s a doctor of internal medicine in the Second Academy of the Army.¡± Xu Qin immediately walked over: ¡°Over here!¡± The doctor led a group of townspeople and carried a young man with a crushed right hand, blood-stained stretcher. Xu Qin: ¡°Leave it to me.¡± The young man was carried into the improvised operating room, where he was cleaned before the operation. The young man was weak and crying sadly. Xu Qin was doing disinfection work on the side, the young man kept crying, Xu Qin didn¡¯t hear it, until when she put on the gloves, she said lightly: ¡°Don¡¯t cry.¡± Xiao Dong and Xiao Xi was frightened at the same time, exchanging glances, Doctor Xu is this comforting? She never chatted with patients in front of the operating table. The young man asked: ¡°Doctor, are you very good?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Hmm.¡± ¡°Then can you keep my hand? Let it be back to its original state?¡± Xu Qin put on a mask: ¡°Can¡¯t.¡± Xiao Dong and Xiao Xi: ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Today, many lives have not been saved.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s voice became even more flat through the mask. The young man¡¯s lips were pale, and tears flowed even more: ¡°I am also a surgeon.¡± The nurses present were stunned. Xu Qin¡¯s eyes were serene, and she walked to the operating table: ¡°You are still young, after today, live well.¡± ¡°I know,¡± the young man sobbed, ¡°the firefighter who saved me just now said the same.¡± Xu Qin was speechless, took the anesthesia needle handed over by Xiao Nan, and injected it into his arm. Above the mask, her eyes were dark, unusually calm, and unusually focused. CH 33 To some extent, Xu Qin saved the young man¡¯s hand without amputation. Later if rehabilitation training went well, he could recover part of his grip strength, but holding a scalpel was no longer possible. The young man was taken to the ward, only then was he carried out, the new doctors and patients came in. After Xu Qin finished the operation, she counted the spare surgical tools and medicines, found that there was a serious shortage, when she was about to report to the liaison department, a team of soldiers carried a box into the medical center, which was the medicine that had just been dropped by air. The leading officer said that more were still on the way and would be sent in tomorrow morning. The people from the logistics department thanked them while counting the medicine. Xu Qin went over to see if there were any surgical instruments, but when she raised her eyes, she saw the officer frowning and staring at her, as if he was recalling something. Xu Qin looked at him strangely. The officer smiled and said, ¡°Did I¡­ Have I seem to have seen you from somewhere?¡± In this situation, such a conversation is too frivolous. Xu Qin: ¡°I have no recollection.¡± Turning to leave, the officer said, ¡°It¡¯s normal that you don¡¯t recall, it should have been many years ago.¡± Xu Qin glanced at the two bars and one star on his shoulder, and when she looked at him again, his eyes were no longer very friendly. The officer explained: ¡°I am from the third division of the XX Panzer Corps, called Lu Jie, not a bad person.¡± Xu Qin still didn¡¯t answer. At this time, a new seriously injured person was brought in, and she immediately went to pick him up and left him behind. A soldier came up to him and asked, ¡°Commander, what are you doing? This is too inappropriate.¡± Lu Jie slapped the soldier on the back of the head: ¡°Am I that kind of person? ¡ª¡ªYour boss was born as a scout, and it is impossible to remember people wrongly¡­.. This girl is really familiar.¡± He was obviously a person with a deep impression, but he really couldn¡¯t remember it for a while. Lu Jie frowned and pondered, and casually glanced in Xu Qin¡¯s direction, who had long disappeared into the inner hall. Lu Jie did not bother much on this matter, and quickly took his subordinates out to rush to rescue. On the first night after the earthquake, Wangxiang stayed awake. There were cries for help everywhere, and people were needed everywhere. The army and doctors had been added one after another, and everyone was saving lives, professional and non-professional. When Xu Qin completed the third operation in a row, it was already two o¡¯clock in the morning, there was no time to rest, a new injured person was sent again, broken leg and bleeding heavily. Xu Qin followed the stretcher, pressing hard to stop the bleeding of the patient, and when she hurried through the hall, she didn¡¯t notice that she passed Song Yan. At that time, Song Yan had just carried a dug up wounded to the hospital, he couldn¡¯t care about the injuries on his body, so he rushed out. Everyone in the emergency center was walking extremely fast and in a hurry. In the moment of passing by, perhaps a fleeting thought flashed in each other¡¯s subconscious. The orange-clothed firefighter and white-clothed doctor who passed by just now seemed to be him/her? But neither Song Yan nor Xu Qin looked back, neither slowed down. Each other was unusually determined and quickly walked in their own direction. ¡­¡­ At half past four in the morning, as the difficulty of the rescue in front increased, the speed of rescue began to decrease, and the number of people sent to the emergency center gradually decreased. However, doctors still had no time to rest, and most of the people rescued in the later stage were seriously injured, and doctors were often required to participate in the treatment during the long rescue process. Xu Qin took the initiative to apply to go to the scene to rescue; Xiao Xi, Xiao Bei and the others also went together. It was the darkest of the night, and the town was bleak in the depths of winter. Xu Qin sat in the battered van, and the cold breath came up from the soles of her feet. Occasionally a few exhumed bodies lay out next to the rubble on the side of the road, the whole town was racing against time to save lives, and no one cared about burying them. The headlights hit ahead, and in the white light, there was a silent and terrifying scene. Suddenly, there was the barking of dogs ahead, as if to warn of something. The car drove past and it was a ruin. The searchlights were on, illuminating the firefighters¡¯ orange clothes in light yellow. A bunch of servicemen in camouflage uniforms were there. Two groups of people stood in place, motionless. Only Song Yan was squatting on the ground, smoking. A police dog was barking at Song Yan, and then ran to the ruins, shouting wildly inside. Everyone was still above the ruins, only the dog and the smoke from Song Yan¡¯s fingertips showed signs of movement. It was a really weird sight. Xu Qin got out of the car and walked over, faintly hearing a woman¡¯s cry from somewhere: ¡°Save me, please save me.¡± The whimpering of this weak woman mixed with the whining north wind was particularly oozing. The police dog understood the human cry for help, ran to the gap in the ruins and barked wildly, and soon rushed to Song Yan to shout, telling him that someone was buried inside. But no one moved. The camouflage major on the side ordered: ¡°Captain, you are disobeying orders! The higher-ups were very clear. Rush to the next location immediately.¡± Song Yan was covered in dirt, his face was full of dust, blood and sludge on his hands were mixed together, his eyes were also full of red blood, and he replied in a dumb voice: ¡°There are still people underneath.¡± ¡°You also know that she¡¯s buried too deep and cannot be saved!¡± The major lowered his voice and stepped forward, ¡°There are more people waiting for you to save in other places. Let alone the time to save her, we can save a dozen more people now it takes a few hours to save her, and it may collapse halfway and take my life as well.¡± Those buried deep in the ground may sense something, and their cries became more and more mournful: ¡°Don¡¯t go, please don¡¯t leave me, don¡¯t go! I don¡¯t want to die, I beg you!¡± Xiao Meng, the police dog, did not understand the trade-off between the pros and cons of humans, and was so anxious that he ran back and forth between Song Yan and the gap. ¡°Shi Li Tai,¡± Song Yan spoke, tiredness made him gasped softly, ¡°I swore when I came, do you remember?¡± His soldiers nodded. Song Yan extinguished the smoke and got up: ¡°Then let¡¯s do it.¡± Xiao Ge, Yangchi and the others did not say a word, and followed Song Yan towards the ruins. ¡°You guys! ¨C You are hurting more people by delaying time here!¡± The major clenched his fists and looked back at his soldier, ¡°Hurry to the next location.¡± The soldiers followed him and left. Xu Qin glanced at the current situation, the survivors were trapped at the bottom, this was a collapsed five-story civilian house, several load-bearing walls and roof beams were overlapped, even if Song Yan and their whole team of men went up together, it was difficult to lift. Xu Qin ran to the side of the car to find the driver: ¡°Go to the town to find someone, and call everyone who can help on the road.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Looking back, Song Yan and the others had already begun to move the wall, which was a reinforced concrete wall the size of a hotel bed, and seven or eight men barely carried a trace of their strength at the same time. Song Yan puffed up his body, and his cheeks flushed: ¡°One, two, three¡ª¡ª¡± The huge steel wall swayed slightly, and it was lifted off the ground little by little extremely slowly. Xu Qin watched, her fingers dug into the palm of her hand. The weight of the reinforced concrete made all the men bend over, their legs and feet trembled, and the huge wall trembled slightly. Song Yan reminded in a hoarse voice: ¡°Stand firm on your feet! Don¡¯t step on the ground!¡± The crowd carried the wall, inch by inch, along the rugged ruins, carefully moving down. Song Yan was at the bottom of the slope, the wall was slanted, the center of gravity was uneven, and the weight suddenly fell on him. The veins on his forehead were bulging, sweat was profuse, and his whole figure was like a bow that was about to break. At that moment, Xu Qin suddenly thought of that rainstorm night, he also tried his best to rescue her in the car. Just thinking about it, the stone under Song Yan¡¯s feet suddenly slipped, and he knelt down! His side was suspended in the air, and the rest of the people couldn¡¯t catch it, and the wall slid down with a bang, smashed into the ground, crashed into Song Yan, threw him down the ruins, and buried him in an instant. ¡°Captain!¡± A group of team members rushed forward, Xu Qin also rushed over. Fortunately, there was a stone next to it, creating a gap. Everyone dragged Song Yan out from under and asked about the situation. It didn¡¯t hit anyone, it just hit hard. Xu Qin stood on the outer edge of the crowd, couldn¡¯t get in, stretched her neck and couldn¡¯t see anything, so she stepped on a tall stone and looked in. Song Yan patted the ashes off his body, rubbed his aching chest, and as soon as he looked up, he saw Xu Qin standing on a high place, her small face was blown pale by the wind, her eyes were shocked. Song Yan looked at her quietly for a second, then withdrew his gaze and continued to move with everyone. Xu Qin and Xiao Xi also helped clean up the small stones, they were tired and sweaty after only a few back and forth. As for Song Yan and the others. The pain was exhausted to the limit, their hands and feet were twitching, sometimes they almost lost consciousness, and sometimes the pain seemed to break their back and tore their arms apart. But no one looked back, they gritted their teeth to lift the boulders that were pressing on the survivors. It¡¯s just that the ¡°one, two, three¡± shouted again and again became more and more hoarse and more miserable. When everyone was about to use their last strength, the driver came with several townspeople, and more people came to help. After nearly an hour, the darkest night had passed, the sky began to appear a hint of white, they finally dug a V-shaped hole and dug under the ruins. Xu Qin followed Song Yan, Xiao Ge down the slope and deep into the ruins, A young woman hidden in the gap between the refrigerator and the load-bearing wall, crying. Song Yan stretched out his hand towards her, his scarred hand trembled from extreme exhaustion, the woman squeezed Song Yan¡¯s hand, and Song Yan pulled her up and handed her to Xu Qin. Xu Qin quickly preliminarily detected her calf fracture: ¡°Send to the emergency center immediately.¡± The woman was relayed and carried upwards. Song Yan asked, ¡°Is there anyone else down there?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, I live on the second floor.¡± Song Yan flipped open a few cement slabs and looked deeper, and suddenly found that there was also a woman lying on her side on the ground, not moving. ¡°Xiao Ge, come here!¡± The two lifted the board, and the remaining woman in the ruins was covered in blood, facing the wall and hugging herself, curled up into a ball, with her back against the beams that fell down during the earthquake. Xu Qin went over to probe the woman¡¯s pulse and checked her pupils, although the person still had body temperature, she was dead. Xu Qin let go of her and got up to give emergency treatment to the living woman, and Song Yan suddenly spoke: ¡°Wait a minute.¡± ¡°She¡¯s dead.¡± Xu Qin said, carrying the medical box and walking up. Only after taking two steps, Song Yan shouted coldly: ¡°Xu Qin!¡± Xu Qin turned around. Song Yan: ¡°She¡¯s a pregnant woman.¡± Xu Qin was taken aback, and quickly slid down the ruins to see that this woman¡¯s abdomen, her curled posture, was protecting the child in her belly. Xu Qin¡¯s heart shook fiercely, she had never made such a serious mistake in judgment. Her hands immediately wiped the dirt and stones off the woman¡¯s stomach, and sure enough, it was the size of a full-term, and Xu Qin¡¯s hand had not yet moved away, and there was a trace of vibration in her belly, kicking into the palm of her hand. ¡°Child is alive.¡± Xu Qin said, her mind blank for a moment. She quickly pulled gloves and scalpels out of the medical kit, and she had never performed a cesarean section. At this moment, she didn¡¯t know if it was because of the fear caused by unfamiliarity, or because of the guilt caused by ignoring and making mistakes, her hand under the knife trembled a little, unprecedented. Sweat dripped from her forehead. The moment the knife cut, she closed her eyes forcefully, and when she opened them again, she was as calm as before. On the side, firefighters and villagers all stood on the slope and waited. Little by little, the night faded, and the sky brightened. Finally, a dawn-like cry came from under the ruins, tearing the sky apart. Xu Qin was sweating, she quickly cut the umbilical cord, handed the baby to Xiao Nan, who caught it with a white cloth, but the moment Xu Qin let go, the baby¡¯s hand grabbed her little finger. Xu Qin was startled, and it took a full two seconds before she broke away from the baby¡¯s clenched hand. On the slope, people had happy smiles on their tired faces, and they watched Xiao Nan carry the child out and rush to the hospital. A fellow standing on top of the ruins rushed down to Xu Qin and gave a thumbs up: ¡°Thank you, doctor!¡± Everyone followed and said, Xiao Ge and Yang Chi also grinned: ¡°Thank you, doctor.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t say anything, nor did she look at Song Yan beside her, she squatted back with her eyes hanging down and sewed the woman¡¯s stomach together. The tension and concentration passed, and the sweat-soaked back was blown by the winter wind, freezing cold. Song Yan sat beside her, and suddenly spoke lightly: ¡°Thank you, Doctor Xu.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s hand on the stitch paused, she lowered her head, motionless, and after a long time, she shook her head very gently. ¡­¡­ What was the promise? What was the oath? What was perseverance? The words she said had never counted, and the promises she had made were never guarded, whether it was the knife in her hand or the person beside her. CH 34 Early morning deep in winter, the temperature was extremely low. Xu Qin sat by the road beside the ruins, lowered her head and wiped the blood on her wrist with a tissue. Footsteps sounded from the ruins behind her, Song Yan stepped down, the orange trousers stopped in her line of sight. She lowered her head, and wiped her hands. He stood still for a second or two, and finally sat down on a broken rock opposite her. Xu Qin lowered her head and did not raise it. Song Yan didn¡¯t look at her much more. After a short glance, he looked away, took out a cigarette and lit it. The north wind blew the pale smoke, lingering between the two. They didn¡¯t say anything, just sat there in silence. In the eastern sky, the light from a corner of the sun seeped out from the morning glow, a ray of golden and weak sunlight penetrated the haze and sprinkled lightly over the ruins. Firefighters lay or sat on the side of the road, taking a moment to catch their breath. The cigarette in Song Yan¡¯s hand had been burned out, but Xu Qin was still wiping her hands repeatedly, making her wrists turn red. Song Yan¡¯s eyes turned back to her, and after a while, he said: ¡°Stop wiping it.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s hand stopped for a second and wanted to wipe it again. Song Yan said: ¡°It¡¯s already clean.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t move for a moment, clutching the piece of tissue tightly. Song Yan didn¡¯t say much, put out the cigarette, and stood up: ¡°Return to the team!¡± The soldiers who had just lay down to rest immediately sat up again, and they had to rush to the next location. Song Yan had just taken one step, the ground suddenly shook slightly, Song Yan stopped in an instant, turned around and stretched out his hand towards Xu Qin, but stopped when he was about to grab her shoulder. He stood still for a second, and the aftershock passed. He withdrew his hand, turned and left. Xu Qin raised her head to look at Song Yan, the morning light shone on his orange rescue suit. He walked among the team members, said a few words, and a group left. However, after walking away for a few steps, Song Yan suddenly stopped, bowed at his waist, and vomited out a puddle of clear water. Xu Qin watched and stood up unconsciously. Jiang Yi, Li Cheng and the others hurried to help, Song Yan waved his hands before straightening up, then bent down suddenly again, and spit out some more clear water. His silhouette was unusually thin and painful. It was because of exhaustion. Xu Qin was still observing, but Song Yan seemed to be fine, and the men continued on their way. Xu Qin suddenly shouted: ¡°Wait a minute!¡± The person at the other end stopped, Xu Qin hurried to the car, and found a few bottles of water and a few bags of compressed biscuits, which were issued by the medical center that morning. At present, there was a shortage of supplies, and people on the front line weren¡¯t able to drink water or eat food. Xu Qin ran over with the water and biscuits, stuffed them into the pocket of Song Yan¡¯s rescue suit, and instructed: ¡°Remember to drink water. Eat something. Sleep for ten minutes every few hours. If you continue like this, something bad will happen. It may be serious, cause sudden death.¡± She continued to hand the supplies out to the other firefighters, ¡°The same goes for all of you.¡± Song Yan looked at the biscuits and water he received, then at Xu Qin, and said: ¡°Thank you.¡± Xu Qin shook her head. Song Yan: ¡°I¡¯m going.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t move her gaze, and when he passed by, she said softly: ¡°Be careful.¡± His figure flashed in her peripheral vision. The north wind blew bits of paper and rolled them around in the middle of the deserted street. Xu Qin stood for a while, then turned around, and saw a row of firefighters walking away from her. The backs of those tall men were a little dirty and desolate, but the rising sun was reflected in the crowd, glowing orange, it melted with their rescue suits into a single color. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin went back to the emergency center and went to see the baby first. Everything was normal with the baby and under the supervision of doctors and nurses. After the news came out, some media came to cover and report, crowding the ward. Several new mothers who were still breastfeeding came to the hospital and volunteered to breastfeed the baby. Xu Qin didn¡¯t look at the child up close, but only glanced from afar. The baby was small and had already been cleaned, lying in a warm incubator and sleeping sweetly. The slight aftershock did not wake him up, and the child slept soundly. On the side, the media carefully took pictures for fear of waking him up. The person in charge of the Liaison Department asked Xu Qin to also be interviewed, but Xu Qin refused. Then, between work, Xiao Bei came over with her mobile phone to show Xu Qin. In the news, the reporter looked compassionate and said: ¡°The one who rescued this child was Xu Qin, a surgeon from the Third Military Hospital of Di City. Because Doctor Xu is still fighting on the front line of the disaster relief work, we were unable to interview her, but we will continue to pay attention to the follow-up developments¡­¡­¡± An ID photo of Xu Qin in a white coat was displayed in the corner of the video. Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°People all over the country are watching. Doctor Xu, you are famous now, everyone is thanking you.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Record the case of the injured patient just now.¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°Oh¡­¡­¡± After Xu Qin finished prescribing the medication list, she suddenly asked: ¡°Xiao Bei.¡± ¡°Eh?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Soldiers who disobey orders will be punished?¡± ¡°Of course they will.¡± ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head and continued to work. ¡°Why are you asking that suddenly?¡± ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± Xu Qin said again, ¡°There are so many orphans from this earthquake, have you heard how they will be adopted?¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°It¡¯s hard to say right now. There are many relatives who are separated and can¡¯t be contacted. It will take a few days to confirm whether they are orphans. But for adoption, the Red Cross will handle it according to the official procedures.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°En.¡± It was another busy day. Xu Qin was at the emergency center in the morning and at various sites in the afternoon. Except for sleeping against the wall around noon for about ten minutes, she never took a break. At night, soldiers began to appear among the wounded to be treated. Some were injured by stone slabs during the rescue process, and some were so tired that they passed out. There was a PLA rescuer in the village who carried an injured villager on their back for more than ten hours on the mountain road. When they arrived at the emergency center, they fell straight down. Xiao Nan sighed softly: ¡°I don¡¯t know how that team of firefighters is doing.¡± She was very concerned about Tong Ming, and all the doctors and nurses knew about it. Xiao Xi comforted: ¡°It will be fine, they are very strong. Now that the electricity is repaired, they can continue to store power and use equipment. They won¡¯t have to rely on carrying people like last night. Don¡¯t worry, it¡¯ll be okay.¡± ¡°Hey, I just heard some people from the PLA say that firefighters are actually the most professional in rescuing people from the ruins.¡± Xiao Dong interjected, ¡°I didn¡¯t know before, those heartbeat life detectors, demolition machinery, and concrete cutters, a bunch of advanced and powerful equipment were brought by the firefighters.¡± Xu Qin listened to them, but did not participate. It was just that when she heard that the doctor in the general surgery department was performing an operation on a soldier who was so tired that his omentum perforated, she remembered the way Song Yan bowed his waist and vomited in pain this morning. For some reason, this image lingered in Xu Qin¡¯s mind, like some kind of hidden omen. But she still tried her best to get rid of distracting thoughts in her mind, and soon prepared for the next operation. The operation had just started, the operating table and shelves shook slightly. Xu Qin and the nurses were used to such small-scale aftershocks and didn¡¯t mind them. But an hour later, when the operation was about to end, the ground shook again, the operating table shook violently, and the entire makeshift operating room trembled. The plates, scalpels, and forceps on the shelf rattled eerily. The intensity of the aftershock this time was not small. Xu Qin¡¯s face remained unchanged, calmly switching between the scalpel, hemostat, and suture. She led the nurses to finish the operation in an orderly manner. She was not distracted at all, nor was she aware that at that moment, not far from her, a building collapsed for the second time. After the patient was sent to the ward, several nurses were covered in cold sweat, discussing that they had never performed surgery under an earthquake. Xu Qin regained her composure, but indescribably, a haze began to cast over her heart. When passing the main hall, there was a screeching sound of brakes outside. In the night, a van stopped, the door opened, and two people in orange rescue suits fell out of the car. The driver jumped down to help. Xu Qin already had a bad premonition in her heart, and she strode over to meet them, but it was Xiao Ge and Tong Ming. Xiao Ge¡¯s forehead was bleeding, and he was holding Tong Ming, whose leg was seriously injured and his expression was distorted. Xu Qin: ¡°What¡¯s happened?¡± ¡°Aftershocks.¡± Xiao Ge said, ¡°We happened to be in a dilapidated house.¡± Xu Qin was taken aback, and asked almost reflexively: ¡°Where is Song Yan?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know, I was close to Tong Ming. Seeing that he was seriously injured, I sent him over first.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s palms felt cold, and her mind went blank for a second. When she came back to her senses, she immediately helped the two of them in and handed them over to the orthopedic surgeon. After she asked about the location of the incident, she rushed out with the medical kit on her back. The cold wind in the middle of the night poured into Xu Qin¡¯s heart and lungs from her mouth and nose. When she was almost at the collapsed movie theater, a shout came from the front: ¡°Help lift it! People are crushed below!¡± Xu Qin gritted her teeth and quickened her pace, and saw another group of people on the ruins, including firefighters and soldiers. Xu Qin¡¯s heart was throbbing in her chest, and she gasped for breath. She searched the crowd, saw Yang Chi, rushed up and grabbed him: ¡°Where is Song Yan?¡± She didn¡¯t realize that her voice was trembling like a ghost. ¡°Below.¡± Xu Qin looked in the direction he pointed and was hit in the face with shock. A few rescuers blocked her view, all she could see was a man¡¯s hand protruding from the ruins, fingers curled weakly. The original wounds and bloodstains on the hand were buried by the dust, like a hand made of clay, blending with the broken surroundings. Xu Qin¡¯s heart turned from blood red to gray at that moment, she recognized it, she knew it was him. She squatted down numbly, trembling, and gently held his hand, which was cold and rough, as if there was no warmth. After ten years, she would never have thought that holding his hand again would be in this situation. The people in front of her dispersed, and she saw Song Yan in an instant. His eyes were closed and his face was covered with blood lying under the ruins. A beam pressed against his chest. The dust and gravel buried him completely, and she couldn¡¯t even see the color of his clothes. He was like a dead man buried in the dust. Xu Qin¡¯s eyes stung, and a line of tears welled up. Her lips parted, trying to shout something, but she couldn¡¯t pronounce a single syllable. She slammed her mouth tightly, turned around and ran down the ruins. She shrunk her shoulders and stood beside the ruins, without screaming, crying, urging, or venting. She just bit her finger fiercely to calm herself down and restrain all her emotions. Do not move around, shout, or affect the rescue process. She stared unblinking at the men, as they sliced ??through the beam with their tools, as they moved the wall away from his legs, as they lifted him out of the dust. The moment he was moved under the ruins, she couldn¡¯t hold back anymore, and rushed forward to wipe the dust off his face, to confirm his life or death. But before her fingertips could touch him, she was knocked aside. His pale lips flashed past. Several soldiers quickly carried him into the car and drove towards the hospital. Couldn¡¯t blame them, no one knew the relationship between this woman and him. The rest of the people quickly continued to rescue others, and no one cared about Xu Qin¡¯s presence. Here, life, or death, were all so common. It was so common that people couldn¡¯t get used to it, but also couldn¡¯t accept it. ¡­¡­ At that moment, in the town high school located in the south of Wangxiang, the officers and soldiers under Lu Jie had just escaped the violent aftershock. After a short pause, they continued to dig out people under the collapsed teaching building. In the past day and two nights, they rescued 96 students, but also dug up more than a dozen corpses. When the layers of cement boards and walls were lifted and the dead faces of the young men were buried in the dust underneath, the soldiers¡¯ eyes were red, they carried them out one by one and put them away with tears in their eyes. Lu Jie squatted aside, staring at the ground with his head down. When the cold wind blew late at night, a piece of white paper was blown in front of his eyes. It was a torn student ID card, torn off just where the photo was, it was the smiling face of a female student. Lu Jie picked up the photo, looked at it, and suddenly remembered a person. Suddenly, his eyes were red. ¡°I remember.¡± He murmured. The soldier beside him turned his head: ¡°What?¡± ¡°I remembered where I had seen the surgeon.¡± His classmate, his comrade-in-arms, had always carried such a photo of a female student during his lifetime. To this day, he still remembers the young man named Song Yan saying: ¡°When I become a proper human being, I will go back and marry her.¡± CH 35 The car carrying Song Yan away quickly disappeared on the street corner, and the red tail lights of the car burned Xu Qin¡¯s eyes like fire. She stood there for a moment, gently wiped the wet mist from her eyes, and walked towards the hospital. Late at night, the town was depressed and desolate, she walked on the ruined and bloodstained streets like walking in a cold wasteland. The north wind was blowing, and it was bone-chilling. It was so cold that her whole body seemed to be frozen, and her body could not react other than trembling. Apart from the coldness in the bottom of her heart, she couldn¡¯t perceive any other sensations. No sadness, no pain. Like this town of misfortune, people lost their loved ones every day, and people watched the homes and people they once guarded every day be destroyed into dirt. Destiny was so powerful that everything that people had seemed so small and powerless. Neither sorrow nor tears were worth mentioning. Xu Qin couldn¡¯t shed a single tear, there was nothing more to shed. Useless. When she walked through a dead street, and heard the north wind howling through the road on the ruins, she whined and mourned, as if the heavens were giving her sorrow and mercy, Without warning, she suddenly bowed down and cried. No need to hide it, no need to suppress it, she was just scared to death, scared to death. No one knows where she was, and no one would hear her heart-rending cries. Only the north wind, hovering above the ruins, whistled. ¡­¡­ ¡­¡­ When Xu Qin returned to the medical center, her tears were dry. Song Yan had already been sent to the operating room. Xu Qin leaned against the wall of the corridor, her face pale and expressionless. After the catharsis, the mind was empty, there were no emotions, only the most primitive perception of the body ¨C tired, the ultimate tired. She didn¡¯t close her eyes for two nights and one day, and her thoughts were numb. For a moment, Xu Qin thought about what she would do if Song Yan died. Her heart suddenly ached, the pain was so painful that it pierced again and stirred up tears. She immediately looked up at the ceiling and blinked fiercely away the mist from her eyes. Until the moment the verdict is announced, she will not think about it. She quickly turned her head to look at the hall. White light shone through the plastic doors into the corridor, and the crowded hall was silent. Slightly injured patients, relatives of the seriously injured were waiting in the hall. It was late at night, everyone was dirty, and some people were sitting in chairs and looking up at the sky and falling asleep; Some people were worried about their loved ones, looking at them with tears in their eyes, refusing to sleep, but they were too tired to cry. Wives awaited their husbands, parents watched over their children, there was a faint and oppressive silence in the crowd. After practicing medicine for so many years, Xu Qin had never paid as much attention to the patients and families as she did at this moment. At this moment, looking at the haggard face under the miserable white light, she suddenly realized that she was inadvertently grabbed by an invisible big hand. That hand stripped her from the doctor¡¯s white coat and threw her cruelly and mercilessly to the other side of the operating room door, among the poor and hopeless crowd. This was the other side of her consistent disregard. It was like some kind of silent warning and punishment. Her ebb and flow fell silent at that moment. Xu Qin lowered her head, covered her face with her hands, and did not lift it again for a long time. ¡°Doctor!¡± A shrill cry for help came from outside the hall. Xu Qin immediately raised her head from her palm, her gaze instantly became calm, and she pulled out her feet and ran out. The soldiers brought a teenager who had been buried under the rubble for 37 hours, and just after being rescued, his arm was broken by an aftershock, and blood suddenly flowed out. Xu Qin quickly tied his arm with strips of rags and ordered the nurse: ¡°Prepare a blood bag!¡± The brief silence of the medical center was broken, and in an instant the surroundings became busy again, and the teenager was quickly taken to the operating table. Xu Qin changed her clothes extremely quickly and methodically, disinfected, wore gloves and masks, the nurses were busy behind her to assist in preparation. When Xu Qin picked up the scalpel and turned to face the critically ill on the operating table, the cold and tears, sadness and exhaustion of not long ago all disappeared. There was no Song Yan. Nor herself. Facing the unconscious teenager on the table, she only had one thought left in her mind: to save this person with what she had learned. Perhaps, with what she had learned, to preserve his human dignity as a human being. That operation lasted more than five hours. Xu Qin stood by the operating table, not distracted for half a moment. Occasionally, the nurses walk around, and occasionally, a slight aftershock shook the room, and she was distracted. Time passed minute by minute, night passed again, and the sky broke dawn again. After the operation was successfully completed, when Xu Qin changed her clothes, her arms were so swollen and painful that she could hardly lift them up, her legs were as heavy as lead. The moment she walked out the door, it was like unsealing the seal, and all the memories of Song Yan came to her face. She immediately rushed to find him. Bad news always came by surprise. She just ran to the door of the operating room, and the door was pushed open, the person with the white cloth was pushed out. Xu Qin trembled all over, almost threw herself in front of the hospital bed, grabbed the white cloth and lifted it, in the next second, when the scream in her throat was about to overflow, she was stunned. Not Song Yan. She stared at the face, panting fiercely. The doctor said, ¡°I couldn¡¯t save them they were just sent in, and I haven¡¯t made it to the operating table yet.¡± Xu Qin looked up: ¡°What about the previous injured person? The one with internal bleeding!¡± ¡°Just sent to the ward, eh-¡° Xu Qin turned her head and ran away. Rushed to the military ward, and saw Song Yan at a glance. The environment was simple, he and three other seriously injured people were crammed into a hospital room, with several hanging bottles hanging in front of the bed and needles on the back of his wrists and hands. Xu Qin took several breaths at the door before gently walking over and squatting down next to his bed. His eyes were closed, his sockets were deeply sunken, there was still no blood on his lips, but green stubble appeared on his chin, and his whole face was unusually haggard. She crouched on the edge of the bed and slowly took one of his hands, which were cleaned and knotted and covered with scars. She held it a little harder, his hand hard but cold, and there was no warmth. She took his hand, one finger slowly touching his wrist, and gently pressed it. Suddenly, suddenly, His pulse beat in her fingertips. It was as if at this moment that she truly felt that he was still alive. She lowered her head and buried her head in the palm of his hand, tears flowing silently and seeping into his fingers. Song Yan, I was wrong. I was wrong, okay? ¡­¡­ ¡­¡­ When Song Yan woke up, it was afternoon, and next to the infusion on his left hand laid a glass bottle, the water in the bottle was warm and pressed against the infusion tube. After he woke up, the doctor came to examine him, asked the nurse to change the medicine, and told him to rest well and not move. Considering the actual situation, the road out of the mountain was too bumpy, and the doctor did not recommend sending him back to Di City, and thought that it was better for him to return after a few days of recuperation in place, but the conditions would be a little rougher. ¡°Huh? Who put this bottle?¡± The doctor asked. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± The nurse replied, ¡°Maybe the family members have hand warmers.¡± Between their speeches, Song Yan noticed a familiar figure walking past the door. Shortly after the doctor and nurse left, the figure folded back. It was Xu Qin. She walked in, holding a glucose bottle in her hand, and asked, ¡°The anesthetic is gone?¡± Song Yan inadvertently clenched his teeth: ¡°En.¡± ¡°Does it hurt?¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t have much to say to comfort him, and the two had nothing to say. Xu Qin stood for a while, remembered something, and said again: ¡°By the way, your team members are fine.¡± Song Yan nodded, she knew what he was worried about. Xu Qin stood for a while before realizing that she was still holding something in her hand. She put the bottle on the bed, next to him, took the old bottle away and put it back in her pocket. The new bottle was filled with boiling water, next to Song Yan¡¯s hand, scalding. Song Yan looked down at the bottle, raised a finger to touch it, and said, ¡°Thank you.¡± Xu Qin shook her head. Song Yan raised his eyes to observe her, and saw that her eyes were full of red blood, and there were also heavy dark circles under her eyes. He asked in a hoarse voice, ¡°How long have you not slept?¡± Xu Qin turned her shoulders and rubbed her sore eyes, and said, ¡°I¡¯ve been busy.¡± Song Yan paused for half a second, and said, ¡°Pretty good at explaining to me.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Xu Qin looked back at him, ¡°I will rest for ten minutes when I find a gap¡­¡­. Besides, it¡¯s not dangerous for me to do this. If you were buried a little deeper last night and couldn¡¯t be dug out, your life would be gone. ¡± Song Yan: ¡°I-¡° Xu Qin suddenly interrupted: ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you to pay attention to safety?¡± The eyes were facing each other, and there was silence. Song Yan¡¯s black eyes were fixed on her face. Xu Qin also looked straight at him, not avoiding or dodging. Her lips pursed and her eyebrows furrowed lightly. It was such a face, when aftershocks occurred and the beams collapsed, it was such a face that crossed his eyes. Song Yan was silent for a while, but he didn¡¯t ask her what position she used to control him. His hand unconsciously touched the ironed glass bottle, and gradually, it was held in the palm of his hand. He explained calmly: ¡°The aftershocks came too suddenly, and one of my team members under the age of 19 was under the dilapidated building, and I had to pull him out.¡± Xu Qin was silent. Song Yan looked at her and said, ¡°I¡¯ll pay attention next time.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s heart suddenly thumped. At this time, someone came in from outside and went straight to the unconscious soldier on the hospital bed next to Song Yan. The man just walked to the hospital bed, he seemed to have seen something out of the corner of his eye, and looked back at Song Yan suspiciously, suddenly, the man¡¯s eyes widened. Song Yan noticed it, looked over, and was also stunned. Lu Jie took a step forward, stopped, and stared at Song Yan¡¯s face in disbelief. He pointed at Song Yan, opened his mouth, but couldn¡¯t say a word for a long time. In a few seconds, Lu Jie¡¯s face was shocked, excited, dazed, excited, all emotions were mixed together, his words were extremely chaotic, and his voice trembled: ¡°Song Yan? Are you Song Yan? It¡¯s impossible to look this similar. It must be! You haven¡¯t forgotten, do you remember me? Do you remember me? It¡¯s you, right?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yan stared at him, not as out of control as he was, but there was also a touch of emotion in his eyes. Getting the definite answer, Lu Jie¡¯s face was shocked with ecstasy: ¡°You are not dead?!!¡± Song Yan was stunned, quickly glanced at Xu Qin, and said to Lu Jie: ¡°Well, the rescue was timely.¡± Xu Qin frowned, feeling that this person was extremely rude. This Major, why did he appear anywhere, and said something inappropriate. Lu Jie followed Song Yan¡¯s gaze to Xu Qin, the reunion with his ¡°deceased¡± comrades made him too excited to think calmly, and immediately asked: ¡°This, this is sister-in-law, right?¡± ¡°¡­¡± Song Yan immediately looked at him with restrained eyes. But Lu Jie didn¡¯t notice, he looked at Xu Qin: ¡°Sister-in-law, I¡¯ve seen you a long time ago. Hello, hello, I am Lu Jie, Song Yan¡¯s comrade-in-arms.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s expression was flat, but her eyebrows frowned deeper. This man¡¯s behavior was exaggerated, and his speech was incoherent. How did he become a Major? CH 36 Before things got out of hand, Song Yan spoke in time and said: ¡°This is Doctor Xu.¡± Lu Jie stopped immediately, and as soon as he calmed down and thought about it, he realized that he was being rude. Lu Jie was thinking about how to turn things around, when someone in the corridor shouted, ¡°Doctor Xu?¡± Xu Qin put her hands in her pockets: ¡°I¡¯m leaving first.¡± Glancing at Song Yan, ¡°You have a good rest, don¡¯t talk too much.¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Lu Jie: ¡°¡­¡­¡± After Xu Qin left, Lu Jie touched his nose: ¡°I was too excited.¡± Song Yan put the matter aside and said: ¡°You youngster, long time no see.¡± Lu Jie paused when he heard those words, his eyes were a little moist, and he said: ¡°I always thought you were dead, who could have thought that we could meet in this place. Back then¡­¡­¡± He got stuck in the middle of his sentence, that disgraceful and obscure past should not be mentioned here and now, ¡°You¡ª¡± He looked Song Yan up and down, and changed the subject, ¡°What happened? Are you here for disaster relief? Are you seriously injured?¡± Song Yan was obviously more steady and calmer than him. He looked at him with a light smile and replied: ¡°Aftershock, was hit by a beam.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not serious, is it?¡± ¡°Won¡¯t die.¡± Lu Jie nodded and asked casually: ¡°Which unit are you in?¡± ¡°Firefightering.¡± Song Yan said. Lu Jie looked a little surprised, hesitated for a second or two, and asked: ¡°Back then¡ª¡± He asked half of the question, depending on Song Yan¡¯s attitude. Song Yan pulled up the corners of his lips and smiled, shaking his head calmly: ¡°It¡¯s in the past.¡± He didn¡¯t want to mention it, so Lu Jie put it aside. Men were all face-saving, and there were scars that they didn¡¯t want to reveal even to those who were closest to them. Lu Jie glanced at the door. The direction Xu Qin had left in was empty. For a moment, he almost blurted out: The one just now, has also passed away? But he didn¡¯t. Perhaps he vaguely realized that this question would be a stab. The two were really close back then, and now they were really happy to see each other, but what had been lingering in these years inbetween was a real helplessness. Lu Jie sighed, suddenly a little sad, for their respective fates. He looked back at Song Yan. On the hospital bed, Song Yan was staring at his military uniform, when he was spotted and asked: ¡°Armored troops?¡± Lu Jie: ¡°Yep.¡± Song Yan smiled: ¡°You look good in this outfit, kid.¡± Lu Jie also laughed, a bit sadly. There was not much time left for them to reminisce, the walkie-talkie on his waist rang, and his superior issued an order. Lu Jie had to go: ¡°Give me your contact information.¡± Song Yan listed his department and phone number. Lu Jie also exchanged information: ¡°Let¡¯s get in touch later. Be sure to.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Ok.¡± Lu Jie left in a hurry, and the ward returned to silence. Song Yan was lying on the bed, holding the warm glass bottle in his hand. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes empty. Lu Jie¡¯s sudden appearance opened a small hole in his sealed past. His body was still painful and weak, and he was groggy. When he fell into drowsiness again, his thoughts flew away inadvertently. This earthquake, it seemed that soldiers from all walks of life had come, airborne troops, special forces, artillery, armored troops¡­¡­ In between saving lives, he would unconsciously pay attention to other soldiers passing by. After all, although he never recalled those days, he never forgot them for a moment. At that time, halfway through military school, he voluntarily applied to join the army for training. The teacher said that he had ambition and good notions, but when he learned that he was going to the border special forces, he persuaded him that if he wanted to be promoted, it was enough to go to the normal army to get gold medals. The border was too bitter, not a place for people to go. At that time, he was too ambitious and dreamed of getting ahead, but just looking at her photo would drive him crazy. What he wanted was not gold medals, but real gold. Only when he went there did he realize that it was really not a place for people to stay. 18 hours of daily training was just the basics, 30 kilometers of carrying loads back and forth was just a piece of cake, 13 hours of carrying logs and marching, 10 kilometers of wading in mud, no matter how dirty or smelly the water was poured into his nose, he would not make a sound, the whole body was covered with wrinkled skin and had to continue the next day. Not to mention that extreme wrestling caused them to be beaten up one by one worse than black market wrestling. The high-tower rappelling high-altitude skydiving instructors directly kicked people down with their feet, and endurance trainers were thrown into the water with their hands and feet tied. During break, they played beat the drum, pass the flower1 with real hand grenades. Bricks were also really thrown at people¡¯s heads. Cold, fever, scraped skin, swollen and sprained, were not injuries, you would still be tortured to death when you went into battle. All the young men were tortured until they screamed all day long, crying for their father and mother, cursing their ancestors and forebears, all kinds of dirty words were thrown out. Song Yan didn¡¯t know how he survived those days, everyday he felt that every minute and every second was pulled infinitely painfully long, like he was a ghost in hell being fried and tormented. One time, during an anti-torture training, the instructor forced him to confess, whipped him, hit him with an electric baton, and injected a syringe of poison into his arm. He suffocated and convulsed until he felt living was worse than death. He really couldn¡¯t take it anymore, he really cried, howled, sobbed until his eyes were bleeding. In the end, he barely survived. Became one of the best in that batch of cadets. If he hadn¡¯t thought about her¡­¡­ If it wasn¡¯t for going back to see her, going to see her openly¡­¡­ The sun shone through the window and sprinkled on Song Yan¡¯s sleeping face. How young he was that year. Glory and sweat, ambition and aspirations were still vivid in his eyes; but in this world, they were just a grain of sand that had disappeared in time, no one knew, and no one remembered. ¡­¡­ In the next few days, Wangxiang¡¯s disaster relief work was still heavy, and Song Yan and Xu Qin didn¡¯t speak again. Either he was asleep when she came; or she was busy when he was awake. Once when she came, he was awake, but the doctor was examining him. She stood outside the door and waited for a while, but before the doctor could leave, she left first because of urgent matters. The two only looked at each other from a distance. On the contrary, the glass bottle in his hand was always hot, exchange after exchange. After being able to get out of bed, the doctor asked Song Yan to walk around the medical center from time to time. Once passing the main hall, he saw Xu Qin sitting on the ground, falling asleep with her head against the wall. Before he approached, a wounded patient was brought in from outside. She was awakened with a start, and immediately got up to receive him. Most of the time, what he saw was Xu Qin¡¯s figure in a hurry. Song Yan also went to see Xiao Ge and the others, everyone had lost weight, even the dog. At that time, the disaster relief was coming to an end, and everyone had time for a short rest. Li Cheng, that brat, still has the mind to browse social media, watch the touching events of the earthquake reported by the media, and be moved to tears. Xiao Ge said: ¡°The baby we saved that day became famous, and so did Doctor Xu who saved him.¡± All the reports were about the doctor and the baby, the attention paid to the firefighters was much weaker, but everyone didn¡¯t mind. Song Yan asked: ¡°Where is the child¡¯s father?¡± ¡°He¡¯s still here, he¡¯s a soldier. He¡¯s also doing disaster relief this time. He was carrying out orders when the accident happened, so he couldn¡¯t save his wife. Look.¡± Li Cheng showed him the video. On the screen, a man in camouflage uniform was holding the newborn baby, crying bitterly. The reporters on the side were also wiping away tears. Everyone sighed. Song Yan was silent, and took out a cigarette from his cigarette case. Before he could put it in his mouth, Tong Ming snatched it: ¡°Your health is not good yet, you can¡¯t smoke.¡± Song Yan stared at him intently, and when Tong Ming was about to return the cigarette in fear, Song Yan let it go: ¡°Fine.¡± Several people exchanged glances. Song Yan: ¡°What?¡± Li Cheng: ¡°Captain, your temper seems to be better after the operation.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Song Yan asked, ¡°Where did you get this phone? You asked for it from a fellow villager? Be careful, I¡¯ll punish you to death.¡± Li Cheng raised his hand: ¡°That nurse Xiao Nan lent it to Tong Ming.¡± The group of men jeered: ¡°Oh¡ª¡ª¡± Tong Ming blushed. Song Yan glanced around, understood, and smiled slightly. Yang Chi approached him: ¡°Ge, when you were buried that day, Doctor Xu was there.¡± Song Yan was slightly surprised: ¡°What was she doing there?¡± ¡°Looking for you. She looked like she was crying.¡± Xiao Ge chimed in: ¡°I ran into her right at the gate of the hospital, she was very anxious.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t say anything, he had something on his mind. Yang Chi: ¡°Ge, she seems to like you.¡± Tong Ming also whispered: ¡°Firefighters and doctors are a good match.¡± Song Yan raised his eyelids, his gaze was sharp, and all the boys shut their mouths tightly. He bid farewell to Xiao Ge and the others, and returned to the medical center. Song Yan got a glass of water by the water dispenser, he was thinking, and was drinking water while standing in the corridor, when footsteps came from the side. He turned his head, just in time to see Xu Qin rubbing her forehead and walking into the corridor. He was just thinking about her and she appeared, Song Yan was also taken aback for a moment. She stood there rubbing her eyes, looking very sleepy, and didn¡¯t see him. After rubbing her eyes, she lowered her hands, lowered her head slowly, stood there for half a second, and suddenly fell forward lightly. Song Yan was startled, like a conditioned reflex, quickly strode over to block her. Her head fell forward onto his shoulder and she fell asleep. He opened his arms slightly, and stood there holding a glass of water, neither moving in nor retreating. His whole body couldn¡¯t move, except his Adam¡¯s apple rolled up and down. He glanced down at her head, and moved his hands idly, wanting to pat her, but before his hands came close, she suddenly woke up, and immediately stood up straight and looked around, thinking that someone had called her to work. In a blink of an eye, she saw Song Yan¡¯s face so close, she was startled and hurriedly took a step back. With this retreat, she knocked over the water glass in his hand, and the water spilled out. She immediately wiped his sleeves with a tissue, flustered. Song Yan lowered his head, watched her movements calmly, and when she recovered from the shock, asked: ¡°Tired?¡± ¡°Not too bad.¡± Xu Qin said, couldn¡¯t help covering her mouth, turned around and yawned. When she turned around, her eyes were misty and looked at him. Those eyes were black and bright, and because they contained water, they seemed a little ignorant and innocent. Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡­¡± His gaze moved away briefly and then fell back on her face: ¡°Let¡¯s go for a walk.¡± She nodded and wiped her face: ¡°Get some air to clear my head.¡± Next to the medical center was the school playground, there were rows of resettlement houses for the victims, and the rooms were completely dark. Late at night, everyone was asleep. There was also a large open space next to the playground. Hundreds of soldiers were neatly lined up, covered with uniform camouflage quilts, sleeping in the wind and dew. There were not many resettlement houses, so they could only sleep on the ground. The soldiers were exhausted and didn¡¯t care. They huddled under the quilt and covered their heads, as if they couldn¡¯t feel the north wind at night. Xu Qin looked, and felt a little touched in her heart. A team of special forces stopped work and passed by. Song Yan looked back at them unconsciously. Xu Qin happened to bump into him, and somehow felt that the look in his eyes when he turned his head was too complicated and difficult to distinguish, but she couldn¡¯t figure it out on the spot. She asked, ¡°When did you become a soldier?¡± ¡°Eighteen or nineteen years old.¡± Song Yan replied. ¡°Oh.¡± She didn¡¯t think anything was unusual, and said, ¡°I heard people say that the things that are universally and fatally attractive to men besides cars, are military uniforms.¡± Song Yan smiled: ¡°You could say that.¡± After a short pause, ¡°Actually, there is one more thing.¡± ¡°What?¡± Xu Qin turned to look at him. ¡°Women.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± The wind in the winter night was blowing, clear and refreshing. What was rare was that there was a full moon in the sky, and the moonlight was bright and peaceful. The two didn¡¯t speak for a while. Xu Qin looked at the moon, thought for a long time, and finally decided to say something, but when she opened her mouth, her words changed: ¡°Wangxiang used to be beautiful.¡± ¡°En.¡± ¡°We came here for a spring outing, remember?¡± ¡°I remember.¡± He remembered everything with her. The most profound memory of that spring outing was that they walked across a long suspension bridge. He intentionally frightened her by shaking the high suspension bridge, like swinging on a swing. She screamed while clutching at the chain, her skirt fluttering like a flower in the wind. Looking back at this moment, he still remembered that the sun shone on the water at that time, shimmering like a silver mirror. Xu Qin looked at the ruins around them: ¡°But now it¡¯s like this.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°It will be rebuilt.¡± She froze for a moment, turned to look at him, and he looked at her. At night, his eyes were dark, deep, and still. Her heart skipped a beat, and she suddenly wanted to say something, but before she could speak, she saw Xiao Xi running out of the medical center. ¡°I have to go.¡± ¡°Go.¡± Another hasty farewell. Xu Qin walked quickly to the entrance, turned around, and saw Song Yan was still under the moonlight, her heart moved again and she couldn¡¯t suppress it anymore. She took a breath, and suddenly shouted: ¡°Song Yan!¡± There was a soft echo over the empty town. He looked back at her. She ran towards him. She ran to him, her cheeks were flushed, she was panting, her eyes were bright: ¡°Song Yan.¡± He looked at her: ¡°En?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s meet again when we return to Di City.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± He answered. 1beat the drum, pass the flower ¨C game in which players sit in a circle passing a flower around while a drum is beaten, when the drumbeat stops, the player holding the flower must sing a song, answer a question, or drink a glass of wine etc. CH 37 Fast forward ten more days, and the rescue work had entered a stable stage. More aid teams had come in, and soon it was time for the first group of troops to withdraw. That day, Xu Qin passed by the resettlement site for the victims, and saw soldiers boarding their cars and leaving in an orderly manner. The folks who saw them off stopped them, wanting to gift them some local specialties. The disaster area was already short of supplies, and the army was disciplined. The soldiers refused to accept it. The two sides made a good compromise. Xu Qin walked past several cars. Several soldiers who had been treated by her saw her and greeted her from the car. She pursed her lips and nodded as a response. The military vehicles drove away one by one, the fellow villagers chased the vehicles and waved goodbye. Xu Qin walked to the end of the line and unexpectedly saw Song Yan. They were also leaving that day. Song Yan was squeezed in the crowd, nodding his head from time to time, saluting fellow villagers, and refusing the things in their hands. It was at this time that he inadvertently turned his head, and the eyes of the two passed through the moving crowd and met each other from a distance. After a short pause, they looked away. She continued on her way, and after walking away a few steps, she couldn¡¯t help but look back. Standing among the villagers, Song Yan was extraordinarily tall, with an unusually handsome and slender back. He was ready to get in the car. But the moment he got into the car, for some reason, he turned his head slightly and glanced in the direction Xu Qin was leaving, and happened to meet her gaze. Neither of them expected that the other would turn around, let alone that they would be caught, and both of them were taken aback for a moment. In the next second, Song Yan got into the car. The car started. Xu Qin¡¯s heart beat like a drum. She put her hands in her pockets, and when she turned to leave, the corners of her mouth curled up slightly. After a few days, Xu Qin and the others also had to return to Di City. When they left, they were also greeted by the villagers. Things that were not delivered to the soldiers were stuffed to them vigorously, saying that they were not soldiers, and they didn¡¯t have such strict requirements. The doctors and nurses didn¡¯t know whether to laugh or cry. The villagers¡¯ intentions were so heartfelt that they couldn¡¯t refuse. Xu Qin finally accepted the basket containing the eggs; the others followed suit, accepting their offerings. This was the only way to let them pass. Someone in the farewell crowd started to cry, Xu Qin was not used to such a scene, so she sat in the innermost seat of the car. It wasn¡¯t until the car drove a long way that she looked back at the ruined town. Had this small town changed her a bit? She didn¡¯t think about it much, it was too early to say anything now. Maybe we had to wait many months and many years to look back before we could see things clearly. On the way back to the city, Xu Qin leaned back in her chair and fell into a deep sleep. When she got home, she was still exhausted. After washing herself thoroughly from head to toe, she went to bed and slept soundly, from the afternoon to the next morning. Xu Qin didn¡¯t rush to get up after waking. She lay on the bed, recalling what had happened in the past ten days, it felt unreal, like a dream. Those who died, those who lived, the abandoned homes, and the built houses, the images flashed across her eyes like a slideshow, and finally stopped at the moment when Song Yan turned back before getting into the car. Her heart pounded in her chest. She grabbed her phone, pulled up his number, thought for a while, and sent a text message: ¡°I¡¯m back.¡± Feeling anxious, before she could put down the phone, there was almost an instant reply: ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Qin stared at the word on the screen: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Just as she didn¡¯t know how to continue the chat, another message came: ¡°Have a good rest.¡± She immediately typed: ¡°I had a good rest.¡± Sent. She added: ¡°I came back yesterday.¡± She waited for a while, but the response speed over there was slow, probably because he was caught off guard. She suddenly realized that she was not very good at chatting either, so she wanted to make amends, and quickly typed a string of words: ¡°What are you doing? Not working?¡± ¡°Rest.¡± This response was quick. Xu Qin thought that he should still be recuperating, and was about to ask him how he was doing, when there was a beep, and the text message came again, from Song Yan: ¡°Want to meet?¡± She stared at the screen, her face was reddened by those four words, she pursed her lips and replied: ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Then come out.¡± He replied. Xu Qin suddenly sat up, just about to get out of bed, thought of something, covered her forehead, grinned and sent him a text message: ¡°I forgot, there will be a commendation meeting at the hospital in the morning¡­¡­¡± ¡°Alright.¡± She scratched her hair and continued typing: ¡°See you this afternoon? Two o¡¯clock, downstairs at my house?¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Qin put down her phone, slipped out of bed, opened the curtains with a slam, and the sunlight shone into the whole room through the floor-to-ceiling windows. She walked up to the balcony, glanced at Wu Fang Street, smiled very lightly, looked up again, and saw the blue sky and clear weather. The commendation meeting was held in the big conference hall. When Xu Qin arrived, Xiao Xi and the others were sitting and chatting together, and even saved a seat for her. Everyone had gotten enough rest and seemed to be in good spirits. At this moment, they were even somewhat nostalgic for the past ten days. Xiao Xi said: ¡°The hospital will issue certificates to those who participated in the rescue this time. Although it is of no use, it is a commemoration anyway.¡± Xiao Dong said: ¡°Those days felt like a dream, I was exhausted to death, but now that I think about it, it was quite precious.¡± Xu Qin thought about it, and said: ¡°Everyone has gained something.¡± As soon as her words fell, Xiao Bei bumped against Xiao Nan: ¡°This one has gained a lot.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s sense of smell was dull and she didn¡¯t realize it. Xiao Xi spoke quickly: ¡°She is with that firefighter named Tong Ming.¡± Xiao Nan was not shy, she spread his hands and shrugged: ¡°He is very shy, ah, I used all eighteen kinds of martial arts to chase him.¡± It was only then that Xu Qin remembered that it was Xiao Nan who took care of Tong Ming when he came to the hospital with a burnt hand several months ago; this time when he injured his leg in the earthquake, it was also Xiao Nan who took care of him. ¡°Your parents won¡¯t object?¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°It¡¯s enough if I like him. If they don¡¯t agree, just need to coax and pester them. No parents can hold out in front of their children.¡± Xu Qin was a little surprised that she was so open about it. Just as she was talking, the head of the hospital came in, and the chatter gradually subsided. The dean stepped onto the stage and sighed: ¡°Everyone has worked hard¡ª¡ª¡± There was laughter under the stage. The dean glanced at the crowd with satisfaction, and nodded: ¡°This time, the medical team from our hospital performed outstandingly. They successfully performed 39 major surgeries, 78 minor surgeries, and took care of 438 injured patients¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin was distracted and looked down at her phone. The chat history between her and Song Yan ended at the previous last message ¡°Okay.¡±. She swiped up the chat and stared at the sentence ¡°Want to meet?¡±. It was now half past ten in the morning, and there were still more than three hours before the agreed two o¡¯clock in the afternoon. The dean was still speaking in an official tone: ¡°¡­¡­It is well received by the local military and civilians. During this medical rescue operation, a group of exceptionally outstanding medical workers emerged from our hospital. They are skilled, benevolent, and always put the safety of the local people first. Such medical workers are worth learning from by all present here, and even more worthy of commendation from the hospital and society. The first individual is Doctor Xu Qin, a specialist in burn surgery who is currently on rotation in the Emergency Department.¡± The dean took the lead in applauding, and there was a burst of applause in the hall. Xu Qin¡¯s face was slightly hot, and there was a trace of inexplicable embarrassment. She expected that she would be highly praised, and thought that she would just sit quietly and let it pass by, but what happened next was unexpected. The dean applauded and gave way to the podium: ¡°Doctor Xu is one of the top ten inspiring individuals selected by the news media. We invite Doctor Xu to come up and give a speech.¡± Xu Qin was startled, but soon calmed down. She had made up her mind and stepped onto the podium amid prolonged applause. Under the podium, colleagues were full of expectation, and Professor Xu Ken was expressionless. She adjusted the microphone, without too much deliberation or hesitation, nor too much nervousness and apprehension, began to speak: ¡°I just did what I should have done. I was also a rescue victim.¡± The people in the audience were whetted and waited eagerly. ¡°At that time, I saw that the woman was dead, and was about to leave. But the firefighters who dug her up found that she was a pregnant woman and stopped me.¡± Under the stage, the faces of everyone began to change unpredictably. ¡°Thanks to his reminder, I was able to rescue this child and pull myself back from the brink of a major mistake.¡± There was no sound, a bunch of people were dumbfounded, it was not this version, it was widely spread now that the doctor saw the death of a pregnant woman, and insisted on trying to save the fetus in the womb. The dean¡¯s face turned green, and he strode over. ¡°At that moment, I realized how wrong I had been¡­¡­¡± This sentence had no effect, her colleagues were stunned by her previous speech. The dean took the microphone away: ¡°Doctor Xu and the firefighter saved a new life together, applause.¡± Everyone was so embarrassed that they clapped loudly in order to resolve it. ¡°Next, Doctor Liu Yang from the General Surgery Department¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin stepped off the stage, Xiao Dong, Xiao Xi, Xiao Nan, Xiao Bei looked at her agape and speechless. She sat down calmly: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± The four shook their heads in unison. Xiao Nan: ¡°As I said before, Doctor Xu¡¯s brain circuit is abnormal.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She didn¡¯t care, she was relaxed, and was only waiting for the afternoon meet-up. On the way home, while waiting for the red light, she saw a huge poster hanging outside the shopping mall at the intersection, which showed a foreign beauty with bright eyes and bright teeth, and a bright smile. Xu Qin stared at the picture for a while, then changed her route and entered the mall. ¡­¡­ At two o¡¯clock in the afternoon, Xu Qin tidied herself up, ran downstairs and out of the courtyard, and saw Song Yan standing beside the banyan tree across the road waiting for her. In the deep winter, the leaves had fallen, leaving only bare branches. He was wearing a gray-blue overcoat, standing under the tree, with a curling cigarette in his hand. Like a painting. She took a breath and ran towards him. He saw her coming and stubbed out the cigarette. ¡°Did you wait for a long time?¡± She ran up the curb and asked. ¡°Just arrived.¡± He said. He glanced briefly across her whole body, briefly looked at her entire face, and finally landed on her lips, which were bright red and delicately painted with lipstick. He looked at it for half a second, and when he turned to leave, the corners of his mouth curled up and he smiled. Xu Qin followed him: ¡°Where are we going?¡± Song Yan glanced at her sideways: ¡°Want to watch a movie?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Okay. Where should we go to watch?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Qi Feng Road.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Qin said again. Song Yan inadvertently turned his head to look at her more, perhaps because the outdoor air was too cold in winter, her face was frozen white, and her eyes were clearer, like a bottomless stream. He asked: ¡°Are you cold?¡± ¡°Not cold.¡± He glanced at her hand, which was in her pocket. He took out his phone and was about to call a taxi, ¡°Let¡¯s take the subway.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°The traffic jam will take a long time.¡± When they got down to the subway station, Song Yan bought a one-way card for Xu Qin, but there was a small problem when passing through the gate. The people in front went through the gate in an orderly manner one by one. But when it was Xu Qin¡¯s turn, she stood by the turnstile and tapped the card on the sensor several times, but the door wouldn¡¯t open. Now that there was a lot of traffic and people were waiting behind them, Xu Qin was embarrassed and whispered to herself: ¡°My card seems to be broken.¡± Just as she was about to turn around and ask for help, there was a force behind her. Song Yan grabbed her by the collar and gently lifted her back. She took a step back and bumped into him. His voice was deep and fell next to her ear: ¡°Try again.¡± Xu Qin tapped the card on the sensor, and this time, the door actually opened. She was stunned for a second, then hurried through and looked back at Song Yan. Song Yan swiped his card and walked through the turnstile, leading her to the platform. Xu Qin asked: ¡°What happened just now, why couldn¡¯t it be tapped open?¡± Song Yan said: ¡°There is a yellow line on the ground, people have to stand behind the yellow line to tap the card.¡± And she had passed the yellow line. The subway pulled into the platform and stopped slowly. People on the opposite side of the glass window were waiting to get off. Xu Qin: ¡°Why is there such a strange rule? Isn¡¯t it a waste of time?¡± Song Yan: ¡°To prevent fare evasion, prevent two people from using one card.¡± While speaking, the subway doors opened, and people who got off the train rushed down the platform. ¡°Fare evasion?¡± Xu Qin frowned slightly, and couldn¡¯t think of an escape. She turned around and got ready to get in the subway car, ¡°Like this.¡± Song Yan lowered his head and whispered in her ear. He took a step forward and pressed against her back. He pushed forward a little, and with a force behind her, he pushed her onto the subway car. Xu Qin¡¯s heart thumped. His hand reached out from behind her and gripped the vertical bar tightly. She stood motionless in front of him, with her back pressed against his chest, the back of her head touching his chin, feeling as if she had been electrocuted, and her whole body went numb. All around, there was still a faint smell of soap on his body. Xu Qin thought, He must have washed his hair and showered before going out. Coincidentally, so did she. CH 38 The subway was moving forward at a high speed, Xu Qin held her phone with both hands, and stood still. Song Yan didn¡¯t move either. People around didn¡¯t care, maybe they thought they were a couple, Xu Qin thought. She glanced at the black car window, the glass reflected her and Song Yan¡¯s figures, the two of them looked good standing together, just as she was thinking, she met Song Yan¡¯s eyes on the glass window. Her heart skipped a beat, she slowly turned her eyes away, thought about it, then slowly took a step away, walked out from his envelopment, held the vertical rail, and stood face to face with him. Her eyes naturally fell on his neck which was at the same level, and she stopped looking further up. Standing side by side they were speechless, Song Yan broke the silence and asked: ¡°What was said at the commendation meeting?¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°I seem to have screwed up the meeting.¡± Song Yan raised his eyebrows slightly: ¡°How so?¡± Xu Qin described the situation in full detail, and said that she mentioned him in her speech. After Song Yan finished listening, he smiled noncommittally, without commenting, and looked up at the station list above the subway door. Xu Qin said: ¡°About that baby, I haven¡¯t had time to tell you, I want to thank you.¡± Song Yan listened idly, like he was not paying attention, and said casually: ¡°Thank me how? Treat me to dinner again?¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Qin replied, after answering, she suddenly felt that he was teasing her, but when she looked up, he looked elsewhere, seemingly unintentionally. But this reminded her that every time she ¡°treated him to dinner¡± before, they parted on bad terms, so she changed her answer and said: ¡°Change it to something else, thank you in another way.¡± Song Yan paid attention this time, and turned his eyes back to her face, very seriously, asked: ¡°Thank me how?¡± Xu Qin had also spoken in a nonchalant way without thinking about it at all, and she couldn¡¯t answer when he asked her suddenly: ¡°I¡¯ll think about it, and I¡¯ll tell you when I decide.¡± He looked away again, with a faint smile on his lips. That smile obviously didn¡¯t expect her to give thanks, he saw right through her. Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She was also ashamed, and thought about it seriously for tens of seconds, but to no avail, she simply started another topic: ¡°How is your injury?¡± ¡°I recovered pretty quickly.¡± Song Yan said, someone was about to get out of the car and moved towards the door. He held Xu Qin¡¯s shoulders and shifted her towards the inside. Xu Qin followed his hand and moved inside, then asked: ¡°Can you rest for a long while?¡± He looked at her again: ¡°No.¡± ¡°When do you go back to work?¡± ¡°Next week.¡± Xu Qin frowned slightly: ¡°You need at least two months for this injury.¡± The corner of Song Yan¡¯s mouth twitched: ¡°In my situation, going to work means playing the role of an instructor, managing the members, playing with the dogs, not training, and not entering the scene when on duty.¡± Xu Qin nodded: ¡°That¡¯s okay then.¡± After she finished speaking, she found that there was no topic to talk about, so she asked again, ¡°Have you been resting at home these few days since you came back?¡± ¡°No. Receiving psychological counseling with the team members.¡± This earthquake, Xu Qin and the others were far from the front lines, and they saw a lot of life and death in their usual day-to-day work. But Song Yan and the others were different. Faced with a large number of corpses on the front line, it was more or less unbearable for them psychologically. Xu Qin: ¡°Are you okay?¡± Song Yan: ¡°I don¡¯t look like I¡¯m okay?¡± Xu Qin looked at him seriously for a while, then shook her head. ¡°There are young kids in the unit who came back crying and had nightmares. I¡¯m fine, I¡¯ve seen worse when I was in the army.¡± As soon as Song Yan¡¯s words left his mouth, he realized that he spoke too fast. Xu Qin asked: ¡°Weren¡¯t you an armed policeman?¡± Song Yan stared at her silently for two seconds, and said: ¡°It¡¯s this stop.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin consciously moved towards the door, and he stood behind her with his hands in his pockets. He was behind her, but his figure was reflected on the glass door in front of her. When the door opened, it was gone. ¡­¡­ At the end of December, Christmas was approaching, and the streets were full of festive atmosphere. What was more appropriate was that when they got out of the subway station, snow began to fall from the sky, a little bit, a little bit, a mild sprinkling. ¡°It seems to be the first snow.¡± Xu Qin said. Song Yan looked up at the sky. It was still clear in the morning, but now it was full of white clouds: ¡°When we come out after watching the movie later, it should be heavier then.¡± ¡°That year when we were in high school, it also snowed during Christmas time,¡± Xu Qin said. It snowed heavily that year, and they ran on the street late at night. Playfully, Xu Qin grabbed a small layer of snow from the treetops, rolled them into balls, and stuffed them down Song Yan¡¯s back. The stimulation made his whole body tremble, she still giggled, grabbed the snow again, and stuffed her little hands into his clothes. Song Yan warned: ¡°Stop making trouble, if you make trouble again, your clothes will be stripped off!¡± Xu Qin was still bouncing around, reaching for the back of his neck. He grabbed her immediately, unzipped her down jacket, lifted the clothes around her waist, and slipped his hand in. She was prodded by his icy hands, screaming and jumping, but she couldn¡¯t break free. He reached in with both hands and rubbed them up and down: ¡°Are you still making trouble? Are you?¡± At this moment, as soon as Xu Qin¡¯s words fell, the two of them fell silent, both remembering old times. Looking around for road signs, they couldn¡¯t look at each other anymore. There were still a few days until Christmas, but the atmosphere was already strong. When they entered the mall, they could see a huge Christmas tree under the skylight, covered with red, gold, and silver ball lights, with colorful gift boxes piled up under the tree, it was very beautifully decorated. Many people took pictures under the tree. Song Yan and Xu Qin passed by, and a couple handed over their mobile phone: ¡°Excuse me, can you take a photo for us?¡± Xu Qin took the phone. The couple ran under the Christmas tree, hugged each other, and smiled sweetly. After Xu Qin took the picture, she returned the phone to them: ¡°Two photos were taken.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± The girl asked, ¡°Do you want me to take a picture for you too?¡± Xu Qin was taken aback for a moment, before she could speak, Song Yan handed over his phone: ¡°Thank you.¡± When taking the pictures, he moved a little closer to her, but he didn¡¯t hold her hand, nor put his arms around her shoulders. After taking back the phone, he looked down at the photo for a while, but when Xu Qin went to see it, he had already turned off the screen and put it back in his pocket. Xu Qin followed him: ¡°Send me the photo.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± He said, but didn¡¯t move his hands. ¡°Send it to me.¡± There was an escalator in front of her, and she walked in front of him. He said: ¡°I¡¯ll send it when I get back. ¡­¡­Pay attention to the escalators.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± She shifted her attention, walked up the escalator, and looked back at him habitually. As the steps rose slowly, her eyes slowly rose to level with him. It felt very subtle, like the slow motion often seen in movies. The lighting in the shopping mall was unusually bright, shining on his face. She saw his eyes up close, very dark, very bright, very quiet, unlike the him in her memories. Song Yan in her memories was arrogant and unruly, recklessly out in the open. Song Yan also looked directly at her, the person in front of him was also very different from the young girl many years ago. Xu Qin looked thin and quiet when she was a young girl, but she had a stubborn ruthlessness and the courage to break through anything. He was wondering whether the ten years of missing each other could be bridged. Their gazes met, perhaps for a moment, there was a sense of familiarity but also an unexpectedly unfamiliar feeling of stagnation. After staring at each other for less than three seconds, Xu Qin¡¯s heartbeat was unstable and she couldn¡¯t hold it anymore. She quickly looked away and looked at the different kinds of people in the mall. Song Yan looked at her side profile, not knowing what she was feeling at the moment, but that was it. He had made up his mind. ¡­¡­ Although today was a work day, there were still quite a few people in the cinema, couples in pairs, and friend groups. The air was filled with the sweet smell of popcorn. After getting the movie tickets, they passed by a place selling popcorn, Song Yan lowered his head and asked Xu Qin: ¡°Want to eat popcorn?¡± Xu Qin nodded. She didn¡¯t want to eat it that badly, but she felt that popcorn should be served with a movie. Song Yan took out the money and handed it to the worker, then asked: ¡°What do you want to drink?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Water.¡± Song Yan said to the worker: ¡°Two bottles of water.¡± While the worker was packing the popcorn, Song Yan glanced at the other snacks and asked: ¡°Anything else you want to eat?¡± Xu Qin shook her head. These years, she didn¡¯t like to eat snacks much. Song Yan saw a bar of chocolate, picked it up and asked her: ¡°What about this one?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I don¡¯t like eating chocolate anymore.¡± Song Yan put the chocolate back. But when Xu Qin walked towards the screening hall with the popcorn bucket in her arms, she suddenly realized that that chocolate was her favorite in high school. This belated recognition made Xu Qin feel a little worried, but looking at Song Yan, he didn¡¯t seem to take this matter to heart. After checking the ticket and entering the theater, before sitting down, Song Yan unscrewed a bottle of water first, put it in her hand, then unscrewed another bottle of water, and took a few sips with his head leaning back. The movie was about to start, Xu Qin handed him the popcorn bucket and asked: ¡°Do you want to eat?¡± ¡°No.¡± He said, without looking at her, looking in the direction of the exit. For some reason, he frowned, and after a while, he said in a low voice, ¡°You watch first, I have something to do.¡± After speaking, he got up and left. Xu Qin watched Song Yan leave. He went to the emergency exit and pushed the door, but it couldn¡¯t be opened. After that, he disappeared at the entrance stairs into the theater. Xu Qin could probably guess. Sure enough, not long after, Song Yan entered the theater again, followed by a staff member who took the key to unlock the chain on the door, and bowed to Song Yan regretfully. Song Yan walked back, sat next to Xu Qin, and laughed at himself: ¡°Occupational disease.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°The emergency passageway was sealed?¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan leaned slightly towards her, and asked in a low voice: ¡°What happened in the movie at the beginning?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She didn¡¯t know. She looked at him, and suddenly found that their faces were unusually close, and his eyes were extraordinarily bright in the darkness. He looked at her seriously, waiting for her answer. Her long silence made the atmosphere unspeakable. He looked at her for a few seconds, perhaps realizing that this kind of staring was getting dangerous. He decisively moved his eyes to the screen, and sat back. Xu Qin also sat down slowly, the feeling in her heart could be described as a mess, which was hard to put into words. ¡­¡­ Song Yan and Xu Qin didn¡¯t look at each other any more, they each looked at the screen. Fortunately, the movie was exciting enough that the two watched it without any communication. After leaving the theater, Song Yan saw all the girls going to the bathroom, and asked Xu Qin, ¡°Do you need to go?¡± ¡°En.¡± The indoor heating was sufficient, she had taken off her coat and held it in her hands. It was inconvenient to bring it in at the moment, so she asked, ¡°What about you? Are you going?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll hold it for you.¡± Song Yan said, taking the coat from her hand. Xu Qin handed him her jacket and bag and went to the bathroom. Song Yan leaned against the wall, took out a cigarette, and inadvertently glanced at her back. He didn¡¯t notice when she was wearing her long coat, but just now he saw that she was wearing a dress underneath. With an unburned cigarette hanging in his mouth, he suddenly smiled. When they left the mall, it was already dark. The snow really did fall heavily, when you looked up, you could see large flakes of snow reflected in the black sky, profusely, like goose feather catkins. Many passersby were running in the snow, cheering and laughing. Snow was always something that made people happy. ¡°It¡¯s only two stops, let¡¯s just walk back.¡± Xu Qin said. ¡°Okay.¡± The two put their hands in their pockets and walked into the snow. There was no wind, only snowflakes fluttering. ¡°Was the movie good?¡± Song Yan asked, lighting the cigarette. ¡°It was good.¡± Xu Qin nodded. ¡°Then I have to thank the director.¡± Song Yan smiled lightly and took a puff of smoke. ¡°Why?¡± Xu Qin raised his head and saw snowflakes falling on his black hair, there was an indescribable beauty in it. ¡°In retrospect, it¡¯ll be a good memory.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°And not, I watched a bad movie with Song Yan that day.¡± Xu Qin pursed her lips and smiled, and asked casually: ¡°Did you choose it on purpose?¡± ¡°En,¡± he said. She was slightly startled, and looked up again, seeing snowflakes lingering in the smoke he exhaled, inexplicably, a warm feeling rose in her heart. It didn¡¯t feel cold walking in the snowy night, and the cold air felt extraordinarily refreshing when she inhaled it into her body. ¡°It was really good.¡± Xu Qin said again. Passersby happily ran past, and the two walked slowly, looking down at the road. Snowflakes fell and instantly melted on the wet ground, leaving no trace. Perhaps, it would be nice if it could go on like this forever. There was nothing else in this world, only snow. But the distance between the two stops turned out to be so close, and they arrived in a short while. He walked her to the gate of the community, under the banyan tree. The street lamps illuminate the dry tree branches, projecting on the ground, drawing irregular lines. Xu Qin stopped under the streetlamp and looked at him through the flying snow: ¡°Here we are.¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan stood still, and quickly scanned her body with his eyes, as if checking that she was as intact as when he came, and said: ¡°Go in.¡± The soles of Xu Qin¡¯s shoes rubbed slightly on the ground, but she didn¡¯t move: ¡°You go first, I¡¯m already home.¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan nodded, ¡°Going.¡± She watched him turn around, suddenly reluctant to give him up, and suddenly wanted to call him, but she hadn¡¯t spoken his name yet. He paused slightly, took a step back, and returned again. His tall figure blocked the light of the street lamp, covering her in the shadow under him. Panting slightly, she looked at him, He pursed his thin lips and looked at her. Suddenly, he leaned over and approached her lips very slowly. Xu Qin¡¯s heart suddenly rose in her throat, almost stopped beating, and she couldn¡¯t move. But he stopped just a few feet away from her, and his black eyes looked into hers from a close distance. She smelled the pleasant scent on his face, and the cold smell of snowflakes, which made her thoughts confused. It would be a lie to say she had no expectations. She was tense all over, thinking about what he would do next, but he straightened up and said, ¡°Go in.¡± CH 39 The street lights were dim, the snowflakes were dancing lightly, Xu Qin looked at Song Yan, and asked softly: ¡°Do you want to go up and sit for a while?¡± Seemingly afraid that he would refuse, she quickly added, ¡°We haven¡¯t had dinner yet, go after having dinner.¡± Song Yan suddenly felt that it was a little funny: ¡°Do you know how to cook?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Song Yan asked again: ¡°Do you have ingredients to cook at home? ¡­¡­Except the rice from the hospital.¡± This time Xu Qin reacted quickly, turned around and pointed to the street corner: ¡°There is a supermarket over there. It¡¯s quite big, and it has everything.¡± Song Yan: ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°We can go buy it now.¡± Xu Qin suggested. Song Yan raised his chin towards the street corner: ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Christmas was coming, and there was even a Christmas tree standing in front of the supermarket, with a few strings of colored lights hanging on it, standing alone in the transition zone between the heater and the air vent. Every time a customer came in and pushed the door, the tree trembled for a while. Song Yan walked into the entrance of the supermarket, casually pushed a cart, first looked up at the safety exit sign on the ceiling, and judged the nearest escape route. Seeing him, Xu Qin said: ¡°Your occupational disease is quite serious.¡± Song Yan pulled the cart and asked: ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°Ah?¡± ¡°Your occupational disease.¡± ¡°A bit of a clean freak.¡± ¡°Because of your obsession with cleanliness, that¡¯s why you don¡¯t have anything in your house, so it looks clean?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°I just like to wash my hands. Also, sometimes I feel that¡­¡­¡± Looking at the fresh meats in the freezer, the slices of mutton and beef were neatly stacked, ¡°Some chefs don¡¯t have very good knifework.¡± Song Yan glanced at it: ¡°That should be cut by a machine.¡± Xu Qin was surprised: ¡°There is also a machine for cutting meat? Why invent this kind of machine?¡± Song Yan: ¡°To cut meat.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Song Yan stood by the freezer and asked: ¡°What kind of meat do you want to eat? Pork belly?¡± Xu Qin was a second late, nodded: ¡°En.¡± Song Yan put the plate of pork belly back and looked at her sideways: ¡°What do you actually want to eat?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Beef.¡± ¡°Snowflake?¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan put two plates of beef into the cart and said: ¡°Your taste has changed a lot.¡± Ten years ago, pork belly was her favorite food, and time and time again he took her to the restaurant. She could eat more than half of a plate of stir fried pork belly with green peppers. Going back time and time again, ordering time and time again, as if she would never get tired of eating it. Xu Qin followed next to him, hooked her finger on the cart, and said: ¡°Abroad, except for beef, other meats are not tasty. You get used to it after a while.¡± Thinking of the chocolate in the movie theater, she followed up with an explanation, ¡°Chocolate too. There are too many sweets abroad, so I got tired of them.¡± Song Yan laughed noncommittally: ¡°If you have too much, you will get bored, if you have too little, you will want it, you are not easy to serve.¡± When Xu Qin heard this, the back of her head tightened, as if someone had knocked her. She always felt that what he said referred to something else, as if he was secretly teasing her about her attitude towards feelings. But he continued calmly, and said: ¡°Then it¡¯s good timing today, let¡¯s see what else you still like, what you don¡¯t like, what has changed and what hasn¡¯t, we can figure it out all at once.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s heart turned cloudy again, she took a step forward and followed him closely. Her taste had indeed changed, and she can no longer eat spicy food. She said that it was a kind of degeneration, and asked him: ¡°How about you, what is different from before?¡± He said: ¡°I can eat spicy food now.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t ask anymore, and found that she was always stepping on mines. After walking halfway around the supermarket, seeing a figurine, she couldn¡¯t help asking, ¡°Do you still like playing games?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°The main reason is that I don¡¯t have time¡­¡­you still remember that I played games?¡± ¡°I remember, I even remember the names of the games you played.¡± ¡°Oh?¡± ¡°Warcraft, and Crossfire.¡± He smiled, glanced at the groceries in the cart, and asked: ¡°Is there also no oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar at home?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Nope.¡± They ended up buying a whole cart. When paying the bill, Xu Qin wanted to take out her money, but saw that Song Yan had already pulled out his wallet, so she stopped. She leaned against the counter and whispered: ¡°Keep all the seasonings in my house. If you want to cook, you can come again. Anyway, you paid for it, it¡¯s all yours.¡± Song Yan was lowering his head to take out his wallet. After hearing this, he glanced over at her. She pursed her lips, looking calm and composed. At this moment, he suddenly felt that the way she was secretly playing tricks was the same as before. While the cashier was scanning the items, Xu Qin stuck to the counter and looked at the snacks on the shelf, and accidentally saw a long vertical thing. She didn¡¯t know what it was, so she stared at it. In the next second, in her line of sight, Song Yan pulled out the strange long vertical bar with his hand and asked the cashier: ¡°What is this?¡± ¡°Candy. But it¡¯s different from the candy you usually eat. It¡¯s sweet and sour, and the taste is very refreshing.¡± Song Yan looked at Xu Qin: ¡°Do you want this?¡± Xu Qin nodded: ¡°I haven¡¯t eaten it before.¡± Song Yan was about to pass the sugar to the cashier to scan, and found that the packaging said strawberry flavor, looking again, there were orange, purple, and green flavors on the shelf, which were orange flavor, grape flavor, and apple flavor. Song Yan asked: ¡°Do you like strawberry flavor?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I like it.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Do you want this one?¡± Looking at the shelf, ¡°What about the other flavors?¡± Xu Qin stretched her neck to take a look, and was about to choose one, but Song Yan took one of each flavor from the shelf, four in total, and gave them to the cashier. There were three big bags, he carried two bags, she carried one bag, and followed behind him with her mouth slightly pursed and the corners of her mouth raised slightly. They were faced with snowflakes all the way home. Once home, Xu Qin took off her coat, Song Yan took another look at her dress, and also took off his coat. He put the plastic bag on the counter, took out the vegetables and meat, and while running the sink, unsealed the seasoning bottles one by one, and stacked them neatly by the stove. At this time, the water in the sink was full, he rolled up his sleeves to clean. Xu Qin glanced at the neatly arranged bottles and cans, looking pleasing to the eye, and said: ¡°You have changed too, you were not so neat before.¡± ¡°It was trained in the army.¡± Song Yan said, as he was washing vegetables, one sleeve slipped down slightly onto his forearm. Xu Qin looked at that sleeve that was in a bind, and felt that her heart was also inexplicably in a bind. She walked over and gently rolled up the sleeve for him. He paused for a second, waited for her to finish, and continued to wash the vegetables. The kitchen was quiet except for the sound of rushing water. The lights were also milky white, ambiguous and gentle. He said, ¡°Two dishes and one soup?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± Song Yan lowered his head and stood beside the cabinet, cutting the meat into shreds. The knife was banging on the chopping board. When he finished cutting the shredded meat and picked up the green pepper, he turned around and saw Xu Qin standing beside him eating the long stick of gummy candy. He asked, ¡°Is it good?¡± ¡°It¡¯s good.¡± Xu Qin said, and handed it to him, ¡°Do you want to eat some?¡± He shook his head and continued chopping vegetables. Suddenly, she remembered that in the past, no matter what she was holding in her hand, if she asked him: ¡°Do you want to eat some?¡± he would lower his head and take a bite. Once he was playing a game, and she was being held in his arms. When she was bored, she came up with another idea. She stretched out her finger and asked, ¡°Do you want to eat some?¡± With his eyes fixed on the screen, he lowered his head and bit her finger lightly, finally engulfing her finger. She laughed. He threw away his cellphone, stopped playing his game, and took off her clothes: ¡°Come here, I¡¯ll eat somewhere else.¡± She twisted and evaded: ¡°Go play your game!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t want to play games anymore, want to play with you.¡± Xu Qin chewed on the candy in her hand and suddenly realized that she was cuter when she was a teenager than she was now. Or, the version of her that was with Song Yan before was cuter than her current self. Her current self was boring, dull, like a person living in a bubble. Her current self was always covered with an invisible bubble, covered like plastic wrap. It seemed that only when she was close to Song Yan, that airtight bubble would be steamed and evaporate away. But in these years, that bubble had condensed again, getting thicker and thicker, leaving her oppressed and unable to breathe. She slowly ate a stick of gummy candy, Song Yan had already done everything, and the food was served. Green pepper beef, stir-fried broccoli, mushroom soup. Matched her current tastes. Xu Qin took a sip, the taste was surprisingly good: ¡°Do you often cook?¡± ¡°Sometimes my uncle used to travel far away and I needed to cook for Zhai Miao. Many years ago now.¡± ¡°I thought you cooked for your girlfriend before.¡± Xu Qin picked up her rice bowl and tentatively probed. Song Yan glanced at her. Xu Qin simply asked: ¡°Have you had girlfriends?¡± ¡°No time, too busy.¡± He answered briefly, without asking her back. Xu Qin ate for a while, then said: ¡°Actually, you have also changed from before.¡± ¡°How so?¡± ¡°The feeling¡­¡­¡± She pondered for a long time, trying to find a suitable word, but she couldn¡¯t find it in the end, so she could only shake her head. There was little else to say after that. Maybe they had nothing to say, maybe they were concerned, maybe it was both. In the past few years, neither of them had anything to do with each other, and there were no common topics. Bringing up questions in the moment, they were hard to explain in a few words, dispiriting. Even more, they were afraid of accidentally stepping on unknown sensitive areas, which would make the situation worse. After the meal was finished without incident, Song Yan washed the dishes and stacked them back in the cupboard. Subconsciously, Xu Qin became aware she wanted to detain him, so she found the kettle, water glasses, and tea leaves, and said: ¡°Let¡¯s have a cup of tea.¡± It seemed like the night was going to be endless. She had just turned on the faucet and filled the kettle with water when her cellphone rang. It was the community security who said that Xu Qin¡¯s car was parked in a temporary parking space on the property and told her to move underground. This call seemed to end the night on purpose. If it was said that there was an atmosphere of ambiguity between Song Yan and her throughout the whole evening today, the fact that she went down to move the car but left him alone at home would break through that layer of ambiguity. Leaving this next half of the evening to become frank and difficult to face. With his character, he wouldn¡¯t stay. But she has always had a premonition that Song Yan seemed to have made some kind of decision, whether it was good or bad was hard to fathom. And she might not even have the right to know. Xu Qin stood beside the counter at the boundary between the kitchen and the living room with her cellphone in hand. Before she could speak, Song Yan got up, picked up his coat, and said: ¡°I¡¯ll go down with you.¡± ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin took the car keys, feeling a little disappointed. She knew once he went down, it would be difficult for him to come up again. When they went downstairs, they found that the snow was heavier, the ground was white, and there was already a thin layer of snow on the flower beds. The temperature was also lower. Song Yan was not needed in order to move the car. It seemed that it was time to say goodbye, and the security guard had called to urge him. Xu Qin said: ¡°You wait here for a while, I will move the car and come to look for you.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°Wait for me.¡± She said again. ¡°En.¡± After Xu Qin ran a short distance away, she looked back. Song Yan was standing under the street light beside the flower bed, snowflakes were falling, he lowered his head, as if he had taken out a cigarette. She quickly moved the car underground, for some reason, faintly worried that he might have left. She ran fast through the underground garage, running all the way back. He was still there, a tall figure, smoking a cigarette standing under the street light with fluttering snow. Her heart felt like it had fallen from high up in the air, and anxiously returned to her chest. As she walked towards him, she gradually felt troubled again. What should she say, want to go up for a cup of tea? When she went in front of him, she was gasping for breath from her sprinting, and a large cloud of mist dispersed in the cold wind: ¡°The car has been moved.¡± ¡°En.¡± He lowered his head and threw the cigarette, his gaze fell into her eyes, and then he didn¡¯t look away. Xu Qin looked up at him, maybe because of the snowy night, Song Yan¡¯s eyes became darker, staring at her, as if trying to pierce something. She accidentally walked under his shadow just now, his tall figure covered the light of the street lamp, snowflakes were flying wantonly above his head. He looked at her very quietly, but she couldn¡¯t move her eyes away, as she felt something important was about to happen. She had felt this way all night ¡ªhe had secretly made a decision, but as far as she was concerned, Disaster or good fortune was unknown. She trembled slightly. ¡°Xu Qin.¡± His tone was solemn, as was his eyes, as if making a major decision. ¡°En?¡± She took a deep breath. ¡°Do you still like me?¡± He asked, direct and frank. Xu Qin was stunned, her heartbeat suddenly lost control; as for him, he looked at her quietly and calmly, waiting for the answer. She nodded: ¡°I like you.¡± Perhaps this was expected by him, so his face remained unchanged. He looked at her for a long time with a deep gaze, and said: ¡°I regret it. Xu Qin.¡± Her breath froze: ¡°En?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s be together.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I don¡¯t need you to do anything for me, and I don¡¯t need you to promise to stand by my side in the future. If one day you want to separate, then let¡¯s separate. But right now, let¡¯s be together.¡± The snow drifted silently, ¡°If tomorrow you are tired, regretful, and feel aggrieved, then we will separate. But today, we will be together. Regardless of the wind and rain tomorrow, let them be, today, we will be together.¡± Xu Qin froze in place, couldn¡¯t believe what she heard, and never thought that the deadlock between the two would be broken by this method. Everything seemed to be in accordance with her heart and her wishes, but she didn¡¯t know why, her eyes were slightly wet: ¡°This doesn¡¯t sound like something you would say at all.¡± ¡°I know it doesn¡¯t.¡± She shivered slightly in the cold night, and her voice trembled: ¡°You¡­¡­do you like me that much?¡± ¡°Yes. I still like you, like you very much.¡± Song Yan said calmly, ¡°Even if it¡¯s been ten years, even if you have already changed, your personality, preferences, tastes¡­¡­ maybe if we date, we¡¯ll have had enough after one week. But right now, if you still want to love, I will accompany you.¡± Accompany you to love. She stared at him blankly. He paused for a second, no longer waiting, ¡°Once you¡¯ve thought it through, come find me.¡± He turned and left. He moved away, the street lights spilled down. At that moment, she saw snowflakes flying under the light, and saw the breath she exhaled was white and scattered in the cold wind. The street light shone into her clear eyes, and the watery light flickered. Her vision became blurred, the sky was dark. Only his side profile when he turned around, calm and silent, hurt her gaze. She woke up suddenly, chased after him with big strides, and hugged him tightly from behind. His steps stopped. ¡°Okay, let¡¯s be together.¡± That night, under the street light, the snowflakes rolled like crazy. A note from m a e m: Pumping it up to 3 chapters a week starting this month! CH 40 Song Yan and Xu Qin returned home again, but they remained silent the whole way. It was because Xu Qin said those words downstairs to keep him: ¡°It¡¯s so cold, let¡¯s go up and have a cup of tea.¡± The heating in the house was strong, the snowflakes melted, wetting their clothes little by little. Xu Qin took off her coat, and somehow felt that this undressing action had an unusual meaning. She tugged on her skirt unconsciously. ¡°I¡¯m going to make tea.¡± She walked into the kitchen. Song Yan changed into slippers and came in, throwing the coat on the sofa. Xu Qin plugged in the kettle and put tea leaves into the glass. Looking back, she saw Song Yan sitting on the sofa, playing with the three long strips of candy. The gummy candy dangled back and forth in his hand, it was rare for him to have such a leisurely frame of mind. Xu Qin walked over: ¡°Try one.¡± She took one tube out of his hand, and squatted beside the coffee table to tear open the packaging. Song Yan¡¯s hands loosened a little, he raised his eyelids, glanced at Xu Qin, and continued to play with the remaining candies. Xu Qin tore open the package, and held out the candy to his mouth across the coffee table: ¡°Try it.¡± This time, he bowed his head and took a bite. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t eat it before.¡± Xu Qin said. ¡°It was different before.¡± Song Yan said. ¡°Why was it different?¡± ¡°Before you weren¡¯t my girlfriend.¡± Song Yan looked into her eyes. Now she was. Xu Qin felt a hint of sweetness in her heart, but she didn¡¯t show it on her face, and asked: ¡°Is it good?¡± The corner of Song Yan¡¯s mouth twitched: ¡°Sour.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Xu Qin also took a bite, but her eyebrows scrunched together, ¡°This one tastes more sour than the one before.¡± Turning it over to look at the packaging, ¡°Grape flavor. The one before was strawberry.¡± While the two of them were eating sweets, the water in the kettle began to make noise at the other end of the kitchen, and the sound of boiling water reached the living room, which was very loud. Xu Qin glanced at the kettle, then looked away, and happened to meet Song Yan¡¯s gaze. She smiled unconsciously. ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± Xu Qin shook her head: ¡°I don¡¯t know. There is no reason.¡± Song Yan asked: ¡°Happy to be together with me?¡± Xu Qin nodded: ¡°Happy.¡± ¡°I can see that.¡± He also smiled, there was a bit of masculine complacency in his smile, but it also had more hidden meanings. ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± Song Yan shook his head. When the water finished boiling, Xu Qin got up and went over, picked up the kettle, and poured the water into the glass. The boiling water wrapped the tea leaves, the leaves stretched out and rolled up and down in the water. Song Yan approached from behind, hugged her, and rubbed his chin against the side of her temple, rubbing back and forth lightly. Xu Qin¡¯s heart trembled slightly. He lowered his head and placed a kiss on her neck. She closed her eyes, as if receiving an electric shock, and clasped her hands tightly on the marble counter. He returned next to her ear and asked in a low voice: ¡°Did you miss me?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes ached, and she nodded: ¡°Missed you.¡± ¡°How much did you miss me?¡± Song Yan said. She trembled suddenly, stood on her tiptoes, and leaned her head on his shoulder. He took both her hands in one of his, and backed them away from the two cups of boiling water on the table: ¡°Be careful of scalding.¡± In the cup, soaked in boiling water, the tea leaves slowly unfold, like blooming petals. ¡°Speak.¡± He pressed playfully. ¡°Really missed you.¡± This was the truth. ¡°Do you know what I¡¯m going to do next?¡± ¡°I know.¡± ¡°Want to?¡± She whispered softly: ¡°If I didn¡¯t want to, I wouldn¡¯t have invited you upstairs for tea.¡± He suddenly lowered his head and laughed, buried his head in her neck and laughed a few times. The laughter vibrated in her ears, and then he returned next to her ear, saying: ¡°Xu Qin, you are very well-behaved.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve always been well-behaved,¡± she said, ¡°as well-behaved as ever.¡± Back then, she was the one who instigated him on purpose: ¡°What are they doing?¡± Thinking of the past, Xu Qin¡¯s thoughts became cloudy. Yes, she was never a well-behaved little piece of wood, when she was with him, she was a real living person with both good and bad. How could she have forgotten such an important matter. The hot water in the cup was overturned on the counter, the tea leaves covered the table, and the hot water flowed over. Her long hair swept over her back, he brushed her hair to the side and kissed her one at a time: ¡°Xu Qin, do you still remember?¡± ¡°I remember¡ª¡± Xu Qin murmured, ¡°I want to hug you¡ª¡± Song Yan kissed and held her hand tightly. She realized something and suddenly wanted to withdraw her hand, but he had her pressed down firmly, still struggling, ¡°Xu Qin.¡± ¡°En?¡± ¡°Be good, I have injuries.¡± His voice was hoarse, with a half-smile. ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin felt that he had tricked her, but she didn¡¯t dare move around. Song Yan¡¯s black eyes stared at her face, her cheeks were as flushed as a blooming peach blossom, and her eyes were as wet as melting snow. Looking at each other, Xu Qin saw that his eyes were extremely dark and dangerous like a wolf, but she felt that even if she was addicted to it, she would not willingly escape. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, snowflakes were flying. In the secluded room, spring flowers bloomed. The storm had passed, he lowered his head against her damp forehead. Her gaze was slack, she was still lost in thought. He held her face in his hands and kissed her, like he was making a promise. CH 41 Song Yan woke up early in the morning, the curtains were drawn, and the room was dimly lit. Xu Qin was in his arms, she appeared to be deep asleep. He sat up a little, and when he went to remove his arms around her waist, she opened her eyes: ¡°Where are you going?¡± He fell back: ¡°Are you awake?¡± ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin rubbed her eyes, then hugged his waist again afterwards, ¡°I woke up as soon as you moved.¡± ¡°That¡¯s my fault.¡± Song Yan chuckled, turned sideways to reach for the glass on the bedside table, drank half of the glass himself, and handed the remaining half to her, ¡°Here.¡± Xu Qin propped up her upper body and took the glass of water. Only then did she realize that her body was so sore that it was about to fall apart. Last night, she was concerned about his injury, and obediently cooperated, letting him have things his way. He, on the other hand, didn¡¯t know how to restrain himself, and almost tormented her to death time and time again. But as she recalled his gaze so deep that she could drown in it, there was a long-lost joy and peace in her heart. Song Yan stretched out his arms, groped with his fingers on the bedside table, and pressed on the cigarette case. ¡°You want to smoke?¡± ¡°No. Getting my phone.¡± He finally found his phone, took it, tapped it to check. It was exactly six o¡¯clock in the morning. His eyes moved over, ¡°Are you still smoking?¡± ¡°¡­¡­How do you know?¡± ¡°The last time I cleaned your house, there was an ashtray you hid in the drawer of the sink¡­¡­ You sure are some doctor.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin handed him the water glass, and he put it back. ¡°Occasionally I smoke one when I¡¯m stressed, but it¡¯s been less recently.¡± She shrank back under the blankets and said calmly, ¡°Speaking of which, you taught me to smoke, you led me astray.¡± ¡°Ha. You¡¯re not embarrassed to bring it up? You wanted to taste it yourself, I couldn¡¯t even stop you.¡± He followed her and laid back down, her hands automatically came up around him again, it was rare for her to show a hint of cheating: ¡°Really? Well, I forgot.¡± The corners of his mouth curled up. Xu Qin leaned on his shoulder: ¡°You wake up naturally at six o¡¯clock every day?¡± ¡°En, I¡¯m used to it.¡± He hugged her sideways in his arms, rubbed the tip of his nose against her cheek, and said in a low voice, ¡°How about you?¡± ¡°I work shifts, irregularly. If I go to work during the day, it starts at seven o¡¯clock, I¡¯m close to the hospital anyway.¡± ¡°Seven o¡¯clock¡­¡­¡± Song Yan murmured, rubbing his palms against her waist, and licking her ear with his tongue, ¡°There is still an hour¡­¡­¡± The lust in his voice was too obvious, with his masculine breath brushing past her ears, she couldn¡¯t help but be provoked, her breath trembled inadvertently, and she whispered faintly, ¡°You were too fierce yesterday, it still hurts.¡± ¡°Really? Let me feel it.¡± ¡°Ah¡ª¡± She curled up gently. The blankets were hot, and Xu Qin¡¯s face was flushed red by him, she shoved him weakly: ¡°Do men think about this kind of thing all day long? As soon as they think about it, they immediately become energetic.¡± Hearing this, Song Yan buried his head in her fair neck, and laughed, the hearty laughter seemed to be able to penetrate the skin and tremble in her body. ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± She pushed him, her face still flushed. Song Yan pinched her chin, lowered his head and pecked her lips vigorously, and said: ¡°Silly, do you know what a man wants to do most when he is with the woman he loves?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Press her against the bed for twenty-four hours and fuck her up and down in hundreds of positions. Unless the man is impotent.¡± ¡°Dirty.¡± Xu Qin pushed him again. He pulled her towards him: ¡°Why don¡¯t you take a look, your man is young and healthy, and in his prime.¡± Song Yan said, sinking down. To love one another, it was precisely kissing and making love like this. Xu Qin thought, Not just for men, but for women too. Because of liking him, she was obsessed with the temperature of skin-to-skin contact, intoxicated by the tenderness of deep affection, and greedy for the joy of reaching the top; and because of this intimate love, she relied more on that feeling of liking him. It was a quarter past seven, Xu Qin got up from the bed, and got ready to go to work. Song Yan also got out of bed and got dressed. Pulling on her slippers, Xu Qinju quickly went to the bathroom to wash up. Just after washing her face, she heard her phone ring. She wiped her face with a few tissues, and hurried out of the bathroom, thinking it was a call from the hospital. When she picked up the phone, she froze for a moment, it was Fu Wenying. It was like a person who was sleeping in a beautiful dream was suddenly awakened. She took a quick look at Song Yan, who was standing by the bed and putting on his shirt, seemingly not paying attention. She walked out of the room quickly, closed the door, picked up the phone, and whispered: ¡°Mom.¡± ¡°Why is your voice so low? Haven¡¯t gotten up yet?¡± ¡°Got up.¡± She raised her voice slightly, unconsciously scratching the back of her head with her hand, ¡°Getting ready to go to work.¡± ¡°Your dad and I saw you on TV.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°Ah, although I don¡¯t agree with you going to the disaster area first and telling us later, but fortunately you didn¡¯t encounter danger. Now you have made a contribution. Your father is very proud, and so am I. Qin Qin, you did a great job this time. ¡° ¡°Thank you, Mom. This time¡­¡­ you don¡¯t object to me being a doctor anymore, do you?¡± ¡°Before, I thought this job was too exhausting and would neglect family. Forget it, just do it if you like it. The profession of a doctor is actually creditable when meeting others.¡± Xu Qin heard other meanings from these words, wanted to get to the bottom of it, but also worried that Song Yan was inside, so she could only vaguely say: ¡°Mom, let¡¯s not talk about it right now, I¡¯m going to be late for work.¡± ¡°Okay. Come home this weekend. Counting the time aiding the disaster area, you haven¡¯t come back for more than half a month. Your father misses you very much. So does Yanchen. I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s been up to, I haven¡¯t seen any sign of him. If you have time, give him a call and ask him.¡± Xu Qin was silent. ¡°Have you been in touch with him lately?¡± Xu Qin glanced at the door, walked to the side and whispered: ¡°When I was in the disaster area, he called me several times, but I was too busy to answer. ¡­¡­I didn¡¯t have time to reply. Later, I forgot.¡± Fu Wenying sighed, and didn¡¯t say much: ¡°Remember to come back this weekend.¡± ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin put down the phone, feeling her head ache a little. Walking back into the room, Song Yan stood by the floor-to-ceiling windows, his back facing her. She rubbed her phone and walked over: ¡°What are you doing?¡± Song Yan looked back at her, and raised his chin outward: ¡°Look.¡± Xu Qin walked to his side. Wow, it snowed heavily last night, and the low houses and alleys in the Wu Fang Street neighborhood were all covered with white snow. After a night of love, the outside world was covered in silver costume. ¡°The courtyard must be very beautiful now.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°When you open the door, you can see the thick snow all over the courtyard, on the roof and on the leaves.¡± Xu Qin tilted her head slightly, imagined the scene, and nodded again. ¡°Do you like courtyard houses?¡± Song Yan asked. ¡°Huh?¡± Xu Qin was unprepared and was taken aback for a moment, ¡°The kind like yours?¡± ¡°It¡¯s that kind of house,¡± Song Yan turned to look at her, ¡°But only one family lives there.¡± Xu Qin had not yet figured out the meaning of these words, ¡°I¡¯m going to be late for work.¡± Song Yan reminded. Xu Qin came back to her senses, quickly packed up her things, and headed out together with him. When she went downstairs to the living room, she asked casually; ¡°You¡¯re resting at home today, will you be bored?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be okay, resting at home in the morning, and meeting a friend in the afternoon¡ª¡± Song Yan changed his words, ¡°Colleague.¡± Xu Qin noticed something: ¡°A friend or a colleague?¡± ¡°Both.¡± Song Yan picked up his coat from the sofa and put it on. ¡°Do I know them?¡± During the rescue, she met many of his teammates. ¡°You know. Li Meng.¡± Xu Qin was opening the shoe cabinet, looking for shoes casually, and said in a natural tone: ¡°Have work to do?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not work,¡± Song Yan followed her into the entryway, bending over to pick up his shoes, ¡°Last time I violated the order in the disaster area, I will be punished. She is trying to find a way to help me.¡± His tone was not unusual, but when Xu Qin heard what he said, there was nothing usual about it. This was a¡­¡­ beauty saves the hero? Xu Qin¡¯s expression was calm, and she was very generous: ¡°Then you have to thank her properly.¡± Song Yan was putting on his shoes, and looked up at her: ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I will thank her profusely.¡± Xu Qin put on her shoes without saying a word, opened the door and went out. Behind her, Song Yan glanced at her faintly, and twitched the corner of his mouth. After entering the elevator, Xu Qin didn¡¯t feel like talking, so she looked down at her phone, as if she was busy with business and needed to check information. But¡­¡­ early in the morning, no one sent her any messages. On the other hand, on Song Yan¡¯s side, his phone beeped non-stop. He lowered his head and moved his fingers rapidly on the screen. At a certain moment, he even smiled. Xu Qin didn¡¯t intend to spy on the screen of his mobile phone, she just stood there, and when he finished his work and walked out of the elevator, she asked normally: ¡°You use WeChat?¡± ¡°For work.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°It is bound to a mobile phone number.¡± Xu Qin searched out his WeChat account and added him, the avatar looked like a game character. She didn¡¯t look at it carefully, and put the phone back in her pocket, jokingly: ¡°She likes you?¡± He turned his head: ¡°Who?¡± ¡°Li Meng.¡± Song Yan laughed: ¡°How would I know?¡± ¡°Then do you like her?¡± He grabbed her neck and pulled her to his side, lowered his head and pecked her lips: ¡°What do you think?¡± This kiss was like a light breeze blowing across an already rippling lake, when the wind came, the pool of water was flattened, and when the wind passed, the water was still rippling. She was in a bad mood. Song Yan asked: ¡°When will you get off work, I¡¯ll find you for dinner.¡± He passed by the previous matter just like that, but Xu Qin obviously hadn¡¯t turned the page yet. Under normal circumstances, shouldn¡¯t a man explicitly say that he doesn¡¯t like her, and then coax his girlfriend? She was not stingy, but she was also argumentative: ¡°I can¡¯t say, if there is an emergency operation, it may be very late.¡± Song Yan answered very straightforwardly: ¡°Okay, I won¡¯t bother you, call me after you get off work.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin¡¯s breath was inexplicably depressed in her chest, and she said calmly, ¡°Okay.¡± On the way to the hospital, she couldn¡¯t help but think of Li Meng¡¯s shy and gentle stance in front of Song Yan. After a brief closer inspection, she found that Song Yan was a man who was very attractive to the opposite sex. It was okay for the flowers and plants on the side of the road to be seen and picked by others, but it didn¡¯t feel good when it was those from her own balcony that others were pining over. People were so strange, before the relationship was confirmed, everything was easy to talk about; Once there was an agreement, there were requirements and disputes. After all, they were essentially animals, and the possessiveness and territorial consciousness in their bones were the same for men and women. Xu Qin glanced at the rearview mirror of the car, there were dark circles under her eyes in the mirror. She was tired previously, and couldn¡¯t recover for the time being. She lifted her face and glanced at her nose and lips again. The tip of her nose was small and her lips were well-shaped, but there was no color. En, she didn¡¯t bring her lipstick. ¡­¡­ All morning, Xu Qin concentrated on her work, but she was a little absent-minded when she was eating at noon¡ª there was not a single message or call on her mobile phone. The nurses who ate at the same table were constantly texting on their mobile phones, either taking time to chat with their boyfriend, or replying to a message sent by him a few hours ago. As for her and Song Yan, it was as if what happened yesterday never happened. Xu Qin didn¡¯t think she was a clingy person, but all kinds of tenderness and affection were in front of her yesterday, and now there was such a gap. But this thought only flashed in her mind, and she didn¡¯t pay too much attention to it. Considering that he said not to disturb her work, Xu Qin quickly put the matter behind her. After all, work cannot be distracted from. ¡­¡­ Song Yan went to the Shi Li Tai Fire Brigade in the afternoon to look for Li Meng. Li Meng and the others had few duties on the field and worked in the office most of the time. When Song Yan went, Li Meng¡¯s office was full of documents. He picked up one and flipped through it, asking: ¡°A pamphlet for the community?¡± ¡°It¡¯s winter again, things are dry, and the fire prevention situation is severe.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Song Yan nodded, and glanced at the pile of materials, ¡°The Spring Festival is in about a month, and the city will be full of fireworks and firecrackers, which will be even more terrible.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t that right, hey, how is your injury?¡± Li Meng asked, getting hot water by the water dispenser. ¡°No problems. Going to work next week.¡± Song Yan sat down, took the water cup she handed over, lowered his eyebrows and saw the tea leaves stretched out in the cup, then thought of the tea leaves in Xu Qin¡¯s house, and remembered her blooming posture under him last night. Unconsciously, the corners of his lips curled up and he smiled. Li Meng went around the desk and sat down, wondering: ¡°Why are you staring at the cup of tea and laughing?¡± Song Yan shook his head without answering, turned his chair and turned to look at her: ¡°Suo Jun said I¡¯m fine?¡± ¡°En. Speaking of which, you never told me about it. I never knew. Maybe I could have helped.¡± ¡°It¡¯s better not to owe favors.¡± Song Yan said. Li Meng knew his personality, it¡¯s true he would not ask her for help, and said: ¡°Thanks to the boys in your team who jointly signed a letter to explain the situation, the higher-ups will not punish you, and the baby you saved now represents a new hope that was rebuilt from the ruins. It¡¯s too meaningful, so what¡¯s the point of punishing you? Besides, you were also injured, so it was worth the effort.¡± Song Yan smiled: ¡°Without hurting an arm or breaking a leg, getting crippled or dying, it¡¯s all useless.¡± Li Meng: ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°To the outside world, you are a role model in the firefighter team, and you will be commended at the summary meeting. But internally, you still have to write a review report on this matter.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I asked Xiao Ge to write it, and I will hand it over to you next week.¡± Li Meng: ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°Going.¡± Song Yan was about to get up. ¡°Go after finishing your tea.¡± Li Meng wanted him to stay for a while, but suddenly saw something, ¡°Hey, your neck must have been bitten by a bug, it¡¯s so big and red.¡± Pulling a drawer, ¡°I have ointment here.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t know the reason and touched his neck: ¡°Where¡­¡­¡± After touching it, he realized that it was probably a hickey left by Xu Qin. Seeing his expression, Li Meng realized it belatedly, and her expression changed immediately. ¡°You have a girlfriend?¡± ¡°En.¡± ¡°Is it that doctor?¡± ¡°Right.¡± Li Meng had nothing to say for a while. She had unrequited love, and Song Yan had clearly rejected her. He never overstepped the rules when speaking and communicating with her. He never accepted her help, and never gave her any hope or ambiguity. She couldn¡¯t blame him. When things turned out like this, she was sad, and she was also relieved, but there was still a trace of resentment that couldn¡¯t be let go. ¡°Then I¡¯ll congratulate you. However, since I¡¯ve said this, I¡¯ll also remind you that people value who they love and scorn those who love them. You should be careful. Although you are at the top of my food chain, you are at the bottom of hers. You have been thinking about her for so many years, but you are still being reckless despite usually being so rational. You can¡¯t do without her, put yourself in such a passive position, I¡¯m afraid that if something goes wrong in the end, you¡¯ll be the one who will be hurt the most in this relationship.¡± After venting, she felt that she had spoken too much, and added in a low voice, ¡°Of course, I still hope that you will be satisfied, really.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Song Yan smiled unconcernedly, lowered his head slightly, and scratched his eyebrows with his index finger. When he raised his head again, his eyes were determined, and he said, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, she¡¯s unable to leave me.¡± CH 42 When she got off work, Xu Qin finally had time to take a look at her phone. The screen was very empty and there were no notifications. During the entire day, Song Yan didn¡¯t call her or send her a text message. She frowned slightly, but she didn¡¯t show any emotion, changed her clothes and went home. When driving through the intersection, for a moment she wondered if Song Yan would go have dinner with Li Meng. She wouldn¡¯t be unhappy because of this, after all, it was normal for colleagues to have dinner together, but¡ª she looked at her phone¡ª how come there wasn¡¯t even a single message. Xu Qin usually didn¡¯t have many recreational activities, but when she got home and turned on the TV, she found all the various sorts of programs were boring. She opened a book and read for a while. For some reason, her eyes always inadvertently glanced at the mobile phone on the table. That phone always stayed quiet. Time passed like this until it was after nine o¡¯clock in the evening, it was like Song Yan had disappeared completely as if he wasn¡¯t her boyfriend. What was he doing, why didn¡¯t he contact her? After thinking about it for a while, she picked up her phone and checked out his Moments1. Like her, he had no content in Moments, only a few forwarded fire prevention announcements, and the only time he posted a picture was also a fire prevention notice. There was nothing to see. She casually clicked on a picture, but unexpectedly, a like and a comment were displayed below. Xu Qin was surprised, not knowing that they had mutual friends2. Clicking on it again, there was a heart of praise: Zhan Xiaorao, followed by Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s comment: ¡°You¡¯ve worked hard~¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± The comment was made a month ago, and Song Yan had not replied. She almost forgot that she was the one who told Zhan Xiaorao his mobile phone number. With Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s personality, she must have stalked him and added him as a friend. She clicked again on Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s Moments. From more than a month ago, there were few photos, and she only occasionally shared some small insights and life anecdotes. As for this month, it was all kinds of self portraits, brightly smiling faces. Even Xu Qin had to admit that she was very cute and full of youthful energy. Xu Qin also accidentally saw Song Yan¡¯s figure in her photo. In Soho Square in Si Xi Di, Song Yan was bent over, rolling the water pipe on the ground, and the crowd surrounded him. It was the day Song Yan saved her. There were two photos in total, the other one was of Song Yan going down the escalator, tall and handsome. He seemed to be in a bad mood that day, with a grim look on his face, which made him look even more masculine. The text that Zhan Xiaorao attached to the two photos was: ¡°The person! That! Saved! My! Life! Aaaaaaaaah!¡± There was also Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s own comment below, which was probably an integrated reply: ¡°Superman!!! I want to sleep with him! I want to sleep with him!¡± Xu Qin pursed her lips, threw the phone back on the sofa, got up and walked to the kitchen counter, and poured the water from the kettle into a cup to drink. Right after taking a big sip, she suddenly realized that the water was cold and hadn¡¯t been boiled yet. She immediately turned around and rushed to the edge of the sink to spit out the water. After spitting it out, she then remembered that what she poured into the pot was mineral water, she could drink it directly. ¡°¡­¡­¡± Holding the cup, she stood by the sink with her chin covered in water, a little speechless towards herself. She pulled out a piece of tissue paper to wipe her mouth clean, drank the remaining water in the cup, washed the cup and put it away. She returned to the living room, picked up the book again and read it for a while, finally picking up the phone and pulling up Song Yan¡¯s number. Countless questions to ask, countless words to express, but in the end only four words were typed out: ¡°What are you doing?¡± When she was thinking about whether he was out with friends or at home with his uncle, her phone beeped, and two words came: ¡°Missing me?¡± These words instantly hit the softest part of Xu Qin¡¯s heart. Inexplicably, her eyes got a little feverish, and her ears also got a little hot. The frustration that had been accumulating for a day was wiped away by his two words, leaving only her heart beating in her chest. She instinctively replied: ¡°En.¡± She only remembered after sending it, she should have replied ¡°Not missing you¡±, to attack him. But he quickly replied: ¡°Then I will come to you. Be there in ten minutes.¡± Her heart was instantly coaxed to bloom. Xu Qin was holding the phone, but she didn¡¯t realize that she was pursing her lips and smiling: ¡°Okay.¡± She put down her phone, immediately ran to wash her face, combed her hair, and got her lipstick to put on her lips in front of the mirror. After getting ready, she sat on the sofa to read her book. Just as she picked up the book, she remembered that the garbage in the kitchen hadn¡¯t been thrown away yet, so she took the garbage bag and went downstairs. After leaving the corridor, she took a look at the side of the road, and soon saw Song Yan¡¯s figure walking towards her, with a bag in his hand. She threw the trash bag into the garbage can and stood by the side of the road, watching him come towards her. It was also at this time that she noticed the sun had risen during the day, and the snow in the neighborhood had melted. There were only a few places on the trees where the sun did not shine, and stripes of snow were piled up on the dead branches. Song Yan had already approached, and ran to her in a few steps, with a smile in his eyes: ¡°Missed me?¡± ¡°No. Just taking a look at you, otherwise, I¡¯ll forget what you look like.¡± Xu Qin said. Song Yan nodded knowingly: ¡°That¡¯s right, you have a bad memory.¡± After speaking, he tilted his head slightly and looked at her quietly, as if letting her look. Her heart suddenly thumped. Their four eyes faced each other, and each of their eyes were bright in the night. After looking for a long time, he smiled: ¡°Am I nice to look at?¡± She didn¡¯t want to admit it, and raised her eyebrows: ¡°You¡¯re alright.¡± He asked again: ¡°Are you done looking?¡± She turned her eyes away indifferently, looking at the street lights: ¡°Done looking.¡± ¡°If you¡¯re done looking, I¡¯m leaving.¡± He turned and left. Xu Qin was taken aback, and immediately went to pull him: ¡°Want to¡ª¡± Song Yan turned around and quickly grabbed the back of her head, lowered his head to enclose her lips, and licked her lips hard; Xu Qin didn¡¯t expect it, and before she could close her eyes, she instinctively shrunk her shoulders and stood on her tiptoes. But he took a bite and let go, leaving her alone with her heart beating wildly. He glanced at her dazed look, a naughty smile flashed in his eyes. He rubbed her head with his big palm, pulled her into his arms, rubbed his chin against her temples, and laughed out loud. It seemed that it was fun to tease her. ¡°I like your lipstick, I want to bite when I see it.¡± ¡°If you want to kiss me, just say it, even blaming the lipstick.¡± Xu Qin snorted and adjusted her disordered breathing a little. ¡°Okay,¡± he admitted generously, ¡°I want to kiss you whenever I see you, and I want to kiss you even if I don¡¯t see you.¡± Xu Qin couldn¡¯t help but smile slightly. She lay in his arms, panting slightly, trying to hug his waist, but touched the bag in his hand, lowered her head: ¡°What are you carrying?¡± He got down to business: ¡°Where is your car parked?¡± ¡­¡­ The underground garage. Xu Qin pressed the key, there was a beep, and the white BMW flashed twice. Song Yan took out a safety hammer from the paper bag, handed it to Xu Qin, and explained: ¡°If you are trapped in the car in an unexpected situation, use this to smash the glass.¡± He tapped the four corners of the window glass, ¡°Remember, hit the corners, not the middle. The middle doesn¡¯t break easily.¡± Xu Qin nodded and imitated the movement with the hammer. He straightened the angle of her hand: ¡°When the tip of the hammer is perpendicular to the glass, at a 90-degree angle, the force is the greatest. Concentrate on hitting one point, and don¡¯t smash around everywhere because of panic. ¡­¡­Memorized it?¡± She nodded: ¡°I memorized it.¡± ¡°Memorized what?¡± ¡°Hit the corners, need to be perpendicular.¡± ¡°Good.¡± He patted her head. She was still gesturing with the hammer in her hand. He approached her, held her hand, and corrected: ¡°Rely on the wrist, don¡¯t use the whole arm, it expends too much effort.¡± He guided her to try a few times, and asked in a low voice: ¡°Did you find the feeling?¡± ¡°En.¡± She nodded, slightly distracted, right now he was being extremely serious and it was extremely charming. He let go of her hand and took a step back: ¡°Try again.¡± Xu Qin waved lightly at the corner of the glass a few times, her posture and angle was correct. She suddenly pursed her lips and smiled lightly. ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± ¡°I remembered that last rainstorm, you saved me. It felt like such a coincidence that time. You didn¡¯t expect that it would be me being pulled out of the car, did you?¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°I also didn¡¯t expect it to be you, let alone that you could push the car up¡­¡­ With such dedication, it¡¯s no wonder that you are the captain.¡± Song Yan smiled, but didn¡¯t answer. He took her safety hammer and put it in the bag, and took out a small fire extinguisher from the bag and put it on the ground. There was another fire extinguisher in the bag. He rolled up the bag and stuffed it under the passenger seat: ¡°I¡¯ll put these here.¡± Xu Qin stretched her neck to look: ¡°Why is there an extra fire extinguisher?¡± ¡°To teach you.¡± He laughed, and handed her the fire extinguisher, ¡°This is very simple, unscrew the lead seal here, pull out the safety lock, then press the handle, and that¡¯s it.¡± Xu Qin touched the lead seal on the fire extinguisher, a little curious, and looked up at him: ¡°Can I unscrew it and try it now?¡± ¡°The extra one is for you to try.¡± Excitement flashed across Xu Qin¡¯s eyes. She unscrewed the lead seal, pulled out the safety lock, put both hands on the handle, and when she was about to press it, she glanced at Song Yan. Song Yan laughed: ¡°It¡¯s not like shooting a gun, it doesn¡¯t have that much recoil.¡± Xu Qin felt relieved, pressed the handle hard, and with a puff, a large cloud of white smoke sprayed out. She immediately laughed, a smile filled her eyes. She pressed it again once or twice, and several clouds of smoke puffed out, floating around her feet. Song Yan stood aside with his hands in his pocket, staring at her big smile, unconsciously, the corners of his mouth curled up. ¡°Easy, right?¡± he asked. ¡°Easy.¡± She was happy and couldn¡¯t help but smile, ¡°It¡¯s pretty fun.¡± ¡°Fun.¡± He repeated her words, and smiled lightly, ¡°I hope you never need to use it.¡± He closed the car door, she saw dust on his sleeve and helped him brush it off, but it became a light blue powder on her hands: ¡°What is this?¡± Song Yan patted his sleeves: ¡°I guess it rubbed off from somewhere.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t mind, and asked: ¡°Where should I put this fire extinguisher?¡± ¡°Bring it home.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin hugged the small fire extinguisher, like holding a pot of gold. ¡°Don¡¯t play around with it at home, do you hear me?¡± ¡°I hear you¡ª¡± she said softly. Walking to the corner of the parking lot, Xu Qin saw the fire hydrant on the wall, somehow remembered Zhan Xiaorao¡¯s Moments, and asked casually: ¡°Are you still in touch with Zhan Xiaorao?¡± Song Yan: ¡°No. ¡­Why are you suddenly asking about this?¡± Holding the fire extinguisher in her arms, Xu Qin said in a casual tone: ¡°Oh, I saw she left comments on your Moments.¡± Song Yan smiled faintly: ¡°Are you jealous?¡± ¡°No.¡± Immediately denied. ¡°It¡¯s good that you aren¡¯t.¡± There was nothing that followed. Xu Qin had thought that there would be a brief comforting or light coaxing, but he smiled and moved on. It was not easy for her to continue asking, it would look too bad. But this was like the Li Meng incident this morning making a comeback, Remembering his disappearance all day, For some reason, the pent-up frustrations that had been eliminated had indistinctly resurfaced. There was no exit, Song Yan asked: ¡°Was work tiring today, when did you get off work?¡± His tone was still as if nothing had happened, Xu Qin didn¡¯t know whether to answer six o¡¯clock or nine o¡¯clock, she was confused for a moment, and suddenly asked: ¡°Have you thought about me today? ¡° He heard her and stopped. She was still walking forward quickly, he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her around to face him. He glanced at her up and down and asked: ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± She looked a little surprised, and said normally: ¡°It¡¯s nothing. Oh, it¡¯s just that you haven¡¯t contacted me all day. I thought you were busy.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you tell me you were busy and would message me when you got off work?¡± Song Yan looked into her eyes and asked. Xu Qin was speechless for a moment, like a fool who had slapped herself. But¡­¡­that wasn¡¯t right, he was the one who said that. But¡­¡­when he said it she didn¡¯t object. You reap what you sow. She stared at him for a while, then suddenly asked: ¡°Song Yan, are you doing it on purpose?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Doing what on purpose?¡± ¡°Stringing me along like this on purpose.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t want to disturb your work.¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyes were calm, and in an explaining tone said, ¡°As soon as you sent me a message, I came right away, right?¡± Xu Qin was speechless again. He came as soon as she sent a message, and with just a few words, he made her forget the troubles of the whole day and coaxed her into submission. But¡­¡­why did her chest feel even more heavy. But she smiled slightly, as if it was a trivial matter she didn¡¯t care about: ¡°Oh, yes, I forgot.¡± She pushed open the door and entered the elevator as if nothing happened, looked back at Song Yan, and said: ¡°Ah, I almost forgot again, I have to study a few cases tonight, and will be very busy.¡± When she said this, her eyes were looking straight at him. Song Yan raised his eyebrows a little, feeling a little regretful, but finally sighed: ¡°Well, I won¡¯t go up to bother you then. Remember to rest early.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin nodded, ¡°Okay.¡± She pursed her lips and pressed down on the elevator. The elevator had originally stopped on the first floor, but soon came down to the ground floor. Song Yan came over and kissed her on the forehead, rubbing her head. Xu Qin smiled and waved at him, turned around, and walked into the elevator silently. Her eyes were looking for the floor on the elevator buttons and she didn¡¯t have time to look at him. The elevator doors closed. She immediately leaned against the elevator wall, silently staring at the ceiling. The elevator lights were all white, and for some reason, she felt a dull pain in her heart. Xu Qin returned home alone, looked at the empty living room, then looked at the small fire extinguisher in her arms, not knowing what to do for a while. She moved slowly to the wall and leaned against it, very depressed, He was obviously very happy in the underground garage not long ago, why was it like this now? The whole day, her mood was up and down because of him, like riding a roller coaster. She lowered her head and rubbed her forehead vigorously. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of the slippers he wore before. She turned her head and stared at the slippers for a while, she didn¡¯t care anymore, she just kicked them, and the poor and innocent slippers were kicked to the bottom of the stairs. Just as she was about to kick it again, the doorbell rang suddenly. Xu Qin was stunned for a moment, before she had even put down the fire extinguisher, she ran to open the door. Song Yan stood at the door, watching her quietly. Xu Qin took in a breath, but didn¡¯t speak. Song Yan walked in, and she took a step back. He closed the door behind him, walked up to her, and took her into his arms. Xu Qin could smell the faint fragrance on his clothes. He whispered: ¡°Okay, I won¡¯t tease you anymore.¡± She buried her head in his chest and kicked him immediately. He leaned against her and sighed softly: ¡°These years, I¡¯ve become cowardly. If problems come up I stay quiet. But at least you¡¯ve always been meek and civil in public, but a tyrant at home.¡± She immediately kicked him again: ¡°Shut up.¡± Song Yan just smiled, and asked again: ¡°Do you need to study cases tonight?¡± She said nothing. ¡°Even if you need to, I¡¯m staying here and not leaving.¡± He said, taking out the fire extinguisher in her hand and putting it on the cabinet. He had already pushed her against the wall, bowing his head and kissing her lips. ¡­¡­ Actually, he had selfish motives. What people couldn¡¯t forget the most was what had not yet been obtained and what had been lost. There was nothing else like wanting more after getting it, and being unwilling to lose it ever again. He had gently pushed her into this state. But, he couldn¡¯t bear to see her so disappointed but still having to pretend she didn¡¯t care. He really couldn¡¯t bear it. When he saw her like that, it felt like his heart was being cut by a knife, suffering from pain. 1Moments ¨C the social media page on Wechat where one can view the posts made by the users they follow 2on Wechat, likes and comments made by other users are only visible to you if you are friends with that use CH 43 The lighting in the living room was dim, and a lone slipper lay on the side of the stairs; There was the sound of running water in the bathroom, a man and a woman leaned against the wall naked. Xu Qin was lightly picked up by him, the suspended position made her uneasy and sensitive. She tremblingly hugged his neck and expressed her emotions by kissing him. Song Yan stopped for a while, pecked at her temples, and said with a low smile: ¡°Take it easy, don¡¯t nibble on my neck, it¡¯s not good for it to be seen by others.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin responded, and after half a second, she said softly, ¡°But I just can¡¯t bear not to, what should I do?¡± It was rare for her to tease him so blatantly, Song Yan obviously enjoyed it very much, his smile widened a little bit, and he said in a hoarse voice: ¡°Then don¡¯t bear it anymore.¡± Couldn¡¯t bear it anymore. The feelings and desires, love and resentment in the bottom of their hearts were released to the fullest. In the bathroom, a thin layer of mist gradually formed on the mirror, and the entangled figures of the two people in the mirror gradually blurred and merged into one. In the living room, it was still dark and quiet; Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the night was darkening. Late at night, He held her in his arms, and fell asleep on the bed. Midway, in his embrace, she scratched her ear with her finger, and he opened his eyes: ¡°Still haven¡¯t slept yet?¡± ¡°You¡¯re breathing on my ear, it¡¯s itchy,¡± she said. Song Yan adjusted his posture slightly: ¡°How about this?¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay now.¡± She also turned around and put her arms around his waist. He fell asleep a little and asked: ¡°Was work tiring today?¡± ¡°Not in particular, I¡¯m used to it.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t come across anything unusual?¡± He seemed to be very interested in her work. Xu Qin thought for a while: ¡°Nothing really. ¡­¡­Oh, the group next door had one.¡± She rubbed her eyes and said slowly, ¡°Today, a pregnant woman who was in a car accident was sent to the hospital, in critical condition. The patient was received by Doctor Li, who was planning on saving the adult. Under the circumstances at the time, trying to save the child would probably have resulted in both adult and child losing their lives. ¡­¡­The man¡¯s side of the family refused, saying that it was a boy in her stomach, and they insisted on keeping the grandson.¡± ¡°And then?¡± ¡°Neither one survived.¡± Song Yan snorted a very faint sneer. ¡°In the hospital, I¡¯m used to seeing all kinds of things.¡± Xu Qin was much calmer than him, but she lowered her eyes to think for a while, and suddenly asked, ¡°What if it was you?¡± ¡°Me what?¡± ¡°Would you want the adult or the child?¡± ¡°Nonsense. Of course I want you.¡± Xu Qin pursed her lips and smiled, and squeezed into his arms. After a while, she had another sudden thought and asked: ¡°What if I¡¯m not in good health, and having a child would be very taxing on my body.¡± ¡°Then we won¡¯t have a child. I¡¯m different from the people in your circle. I don¡¯t have a palace to inherit.¡± He was still interested in deliberately teasing her, she kicked him lightly. But suddenly, she remembered the man Fu Wenying had arranged for her to go on a blind date with. The rich, beautiful, educated and talented man had said: ¡°You don¡¯t have to do anything, you don¡¯t have to go to work, just marry into my family and enjoy life with peace of mind, as long as you have a son.¡± Thinking of this, Xu Qin couldn¡¯t help but hug Song Yan even tighter. ¡°Song Yan?¡± She looked up. ¡°En?¡± He was about to sleep, and slowly opened his eyes. ¡°What do you like about me?¡± He thought about it seriously for a few seconds, and finally said: ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± Xu Qin frowned, ¡°It¡¯s as if I have no merits.¡± Song Yan thought it was funny: ¡°If it were now, if I met you in the blind date market, I would consider: en, this girl looks good, has a good personality, a decent job, and good family conditions. I like all of these. But when I met you back then, it was too early, ¡­¡­too early. At that time, I didn¡¯t have time to think about anything yet, but my heart was already moved. I hadn¡¯t even thought it through yet, so how could I know why¡­¡­¡± He spoke slowly, feeling sleepy again. She listened quietly without interruption. I like you not because of your strengths or weaknesses; but because I liked you already, so I will like all your characteristics. Xu Qin suddenly felt very apologetic, he obviously liked her, but she kept examining him, comparing him. But now, because of liking him, she was more sensitive, caring. ¡°Xu Qin.¡± He suddenly said softly. ¡°Ah?¡± ¡°Talk to me more in the future.¡± He closed his eyes, as if talking in his sleep. ¡°¡­¡­Talk about what?¡± ¡°Say what¡¯s on your mind, don¡¯t hold back. Just like before, laugh when you¡¯re happy, and lose your temper when you¡¯re unhappy.¡± Seeing that she didn¡¯t respond, ¡°En?¡± ¡°Okay.¡± He hugged her and fell asleep. While half-conscious, he heard her say: ¡°Sometimes I envy those girls whose eyes can talk, and I want to have those kinds of eyes.¡± ¡°Why?¡± He was really sleepy, with eyes closed, murmured. ¡°When I can¡¯t say what I want to say, my eyes can let people see my happiness and sadness.¡± But her eyes were always as silent and oppressed as her person. ¡°You don¡¯t need to have them.¡± He shifted, buried his head in her hair, and fell into a deep sleep, ¡°I can understand.¡± Xu Qin slowly raised her eyes to look at him. He closed his eyes, breathing evenly and long, and fell asleep. His arms were still around her waist. In the dark of night, he lost the firmness and toughness he had when he was awake, and the soft and fragile side of him was fully revealed in front of her eyes. His heart beat in her ears, his body temperature spread across her cheeks, his fragrance lingered in front of her body, the feeling of happiness at this moment was like overflowing warm water, filling her heart softly and slowly filling her whole body. She didn¡¯t know what this sweet taste was for a long time, but now she tasted it. ¡­¡­ When Xu Qin arrived at the hospital, she was only one minute away from the start of her shift. Xiao Xi was surprised: ¡°Doctor Xu, you always come fifteen minutes early, what happened recently?¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°I get up late these days.¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°Are you very tired recently, do you want to sleep for a long time?¡± Looking at her, ¡°But I think Doctor Xu¡¯s complexion has improved these days.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°En, her complexion is rosy and glowy.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She put on her white coat without saying a word. Xiao Bei: ¡°By the way Doctor Xu, here is the porridge I brought you. Eat a few bites quickly, you won¡¯t have time to eat later. You¡¯ll have to be hungry until noon.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I¡¯ve already eaten.¡± She gave the money to Xiao Bei, ¡°You don¡¯t need to bring me breakfast from now on.¡± ¡°It¡¯s no trouble, Xiao Dong and Xiao Xi¡¯s are all brought by me.¡± ¡°I ate at home.¡± Xu Qin said lightly and left. The nurses looked at each other. Xiao Xi: ¡°Doctor Xu wouldn¡¯t be dating, would she?¡± Xiao Dong: ¡°No way, she doesn¡¯t seem any different these days.¡± Xiao Nan: ¡°Not during work, but when there¡¯s free time now she looks at her phone. She never used to touch her phone, now sometimes she sends messages, and smiles slightly. It¡¯s scaring me to death!¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°I¡¯m so curious, what kind of man can make Doctor Xu¡¯s cold face laugh.¡± ¡°Ooooh¡ª¡± Everyone nodded in agreement. When it was almost noon, the 120 emergency center received a call for rescue. Someone poured gasoline on a bus and set it on fire. When the ambulance rushed to the bus, it had burned into a big lantern. Fortunately, the passengers escaped and the firefighters quickly put out the fire. The injured were sent to the hospital, most of them escaped in time, not very serious injuries, and were gathered together for unified treatment. When Xu Qin finished taking care of the patient at hand, she suddenly heard a loud voice: ¡°Sister-in-law!¡± She didn¡¯t pay attention at first, until the person shouted again: ¡°Sister-in-law!¡± The voice seemed to be directed at her, and was familiar. Xu Qin turned around and saw Zhai Miao. Zhai Miao waved and ran towards her. Xu Qin glanced at her up and down, her clothes were in a mess, and the hem of her clothes had a big burnt hole. Xu Qin: ¡°You were on the bus too?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Are you hurt?¡± ¡°No.¡± Zhai Miao twitched her chin, which was exactly the same as Song Yan when he was a teenager. She said, ¡°I smashed the glass with a safety hammer and led everyone to escape. If it weren¡¯t for me, you wouldn¡¯t be so free like this now, and you would have to perform major surgery on several people.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± However, she remembered the night that Song Yan had taught her the escape and fire extinguishing methods, which really put her at ease. After Zhai Miao finished speaking, she looked at Xu Qin excitedly. After the two stared at each other for a while, Xu Qin vaguely understood, and praised lightly: ¡°You did a great job.¡± Zhai Miao answered immediately: ¡°I¡¯m a family member of a firefighter. It¡¯s too embarrassing for my brother if I can¡¯t do something like this. Sister-in-law, don¡¯t you think so?¡± Xu Qin was taken aback. She was worried about the injuries so she didn¡¯t pay attention before, but now she realized that there was something wrong with her title¡ª Song Yan had already told Zhai Miao that they were together? ¡°You should call me Xu Qin.¡± ¡°That won¡¯t do. My ge said, I need to show respect for you, or he will beat me up.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°My parents also said, a younger sister has to be presentable.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± So, uncle and aunt also know now? It was clear that they still hated her the last time they met¡­¡­ ¡°Although I had some disagreements with you before, it was because I treated you as an outsider. Now that we are one family, I won¡¯t be as annoying as I used to be, and you¡¯ll know how good I can be.¡± Zhai Miao said, ¡°Let¡¯s turn over a new page and forget the past.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± One family. What exactly did Song Yan tell his family? What she didn¡¯t know was that, in fact, Song Yan didn¡¯t tell his family anything. Only one day while eating, he simply said: ¡°I am together with Xu Qin now.¡± As for the rest, actions spoke for themselves. Xu Qin said: ¡°Your clothes are burnt, do you want to change into something else, I have a spare here.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Zhai Miao patted the dust on her clothes, ¡°Only the hem is burnt, I can still wear it back.¡± Xu Qin frowned slightly, touched her elbow, and touched a smear of light pink powder, which was the same as what she found on Song Yan¡¯s sleeve last time. ¡°What is this?¡± Xu Qin asked. Zhai Miao was taken aback for a moment, then opened her mouth and said: ¡°Chalk. Maybe I smudged it when I was cleaning the blackboard at school.¡± Xu Qin was skeptical. As soon as Zhai Miao saw her expression, she realized that something was wrong. After thinking about it, it must have something to do with Song Yan, so she immediately made up for it: ¡°It may be from home. My dad uses chalk to mark the carpentry.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin nodded, her slightly frowning brows calmed down. When Zhai Miao saw, she knew that she had guessed right, and she immediately slandered inwardly: Song Yan, Song Yan, it¡¯s fine if you drag me, a young girl to work as your laborer, but I also have to use my ingenuity to help you coax your wife. He should gift her ten Macs for it to be enough, but after thinking about it, forget it, he should keep the money for his wife. Looking at Xu Qin again, Zhai Miao sincerely envied her, for having a sister-in-law as good as herself. What sister-in-law would think about earning money to buy bags for her sister-in-law while she was still in college like her. Xu Qin saw Zhai Miao looking at her with an unusually cordial and friendly expression, wasn¡¯t used to it, so she looked away slightly, put her hands in the pockets of her white coat, and said: ¡°If you¡¯re okay, then head back early.¡± ¡°Okay, you go back to work.¡± Zhai Miao waved at her. Xu Qin nodded slightly, turned and left. Zhai Miao watched her turn and leave, and suddenly remembered the morning after the first snow, the sun was shining and the sky was clear. She raised her head and asked Song Yan who was sitting on the ladder: ¡°Why are you together? She said yes this time, what if she regrets it later and runs away?¡± Song Yan said: ¡°She didn¡¯t know how good it was to be with me before, but she will know in the future.¡± If outsiders heard it, they would probably laugh at this man¡¯s self-confidence and arrogance; but Zhai Miao knew that this was true love and commitment. Zhai Miao looked at Xu Qin¡¯s disappearing figure and sighed, she was sincerely envious of her. But Xu Qin, this time, don¡¯t let my brother down. ¡­¡­ After getting off work on Friday, when Xu Qin set out from the parking lot, she took out her phone to call Song Yan, and told him that she was off work as usual and did not have to work overtime. It took her about ten minutes to drive back, it also took Song Yan about ten minutes to get to her house from his. Starting at the same time, the two would just happen to meet downstairs. Most of the time, he arrived earlier, standing downstairs smoking a cigarette while waiting for her. Then the two walked to the supermarket to buy groceries and went home to cook. But today, when she took out her phone, Xu Qin suddenly remembered that he was the first to arrive every time, so why not wait for him today instead of him waiting for her. She put away her cell phone and drove out of the underground garage. After driving almost halfway, she called Song Yan at a red light to report that she was off work. Putting down the phone, thinking of Song Yan¡¯s expression when he saw her later, she couldn¡¯t help but smile a little. But today there were red lights all the way, not so lucky. But it didn¡¯t matter, it wouldn¡¯t take long. Xu Qin drove the car into the underground garage of the community and parked, then ran as soon as she got out of the car. She ran to the exit closest to her home, and saw that the night was like a curtain. In the deep winter of the north, it was after six o¡¯clock in the afternoon, and the sky was very dark. Through the shadows of trees outside the rain-shielding glass windows, she saw that he had arrived first again, waiting at the entrance of the corridor. This time, he stood in the shadows outside the street lights, blending into the night, his figure blurred. It seemed that he faced away from the road in the community and faced towards the direction of the residential buildings. Xu Qin thought about it, walked lightly along the holly bushes, and lurked past. A few big cycad trees in the flower bed blocked her, making it easier for her to hide. She slowly approached, and suddenly jumped out to scare him: ¡°Hey!¡± But the moment she jumped out of the bushes, she realized that something was wrong, he was not Song Yan. But, it was too late. She rushed towards him uncontrollably. He turned around when he heard her voice, and she threw herself into his arms and wrapped her arms around his waist. And Meng Yanchen almost instinctively hugged her tightly. CH 44 Xu Qin was startled, and immediately wanted to push Meng Yanchen away. But Meng Yanchen wouldn¡¯t let go, and grabbed her even tighter. He examined the expression on her face, as if he couldn¡¯t believe that the mischievous and charming voice and intimate movements just now came from her. But in an instant, she turned into Meng Qin again, her face was indifferent. She tried to be calm, but she couldn¡¯t hide a trace of panic. Her eyes looked around, as if she was looking for something, she pushed and shoved on his chest, her voice was extremely low: ¡°Meng Yanchen, are you crazy!¡± While the two pushed and pulled, a cold male voice came from behind: ¡°You¡¯re hugging my girlfriend, when are you planning on letting go?¡± Xu Qin was startled and looked back; under the night, Song Yan¡¯s face was covered with dark clouds. She pushed Meng Yanchen away forcefully, just as the latter let go of one hand. She got out of his restraint and wanted to run towards Song Yan, but Meng Yanchen held her other hand even tighter. Song Yan¡¯s eyes were cold, he suddenly grabbed Xu Qin¡¯s hand and pulled her over towards him. Xu Qin staggered towards Song Yan, and he pulled her behind him. He stared at Meng Yanchen, his eyes splattered with anger, as if the next second he would go up and tear him apart. Xu Qin didn¡¯t care about the pain in her wrist, and took Song Yan¡¯s hand: ¡°I got the wrong person¡ª¡± ¡°Go up.¡± Song Yan interrupted. Xu Qin was taken aback for a moment, and wanted to say something else, Song Yan turned to look at her, and asked lightly: ¡°What¡¯s wrong, are you afraid that I will beat him to death?¡± When Xu Qin heard his tone of voice, she felt chills down her spine. Knowing that he was really annoyed, she immediately let go of his hand, turned around and quickly walked into the hallway. Seeing that she didn¡¯t even turn her head to look back, Meng Yanchen inadvertently bit his cheeks tightly. The night was silent, the woman¡¯s footsteps quickly disappeared into the corridor, and an elevator door could be heard opening somewhere. The lights in the corridor shone out, like a bright blanket on the ground. At the end of the blanket, Song Yan and Meng Yanchen stood at the two corners. They hadn¡¯t seen each other for ten years, and both had changed a lot. They had grown from the skinny boys back then into tall men, but strangely some things remained unchanged, such as the disparity in their status, such as their irreconcilable differences. Their gazes met, and the hostility and resentment on both sides were fully exposed. In this world, nothing could arouse a man¡¯s hatred and desire to win more than fighting over a woman. For a moment, Song Yan really wanted to hit Meng Yanchen, but Xu Qin had obediently gone back to her house. The comfort brought by this behavior went without saying. And Meng Yanchen had seen everything just now. He was a smart man, so he naturally would understand that today was different from the past, this place was no longer that original ice skating rink, and he had become the loser through and through. ¡°You are her brother, so pay attention to propriety.¡± Song Yan warned. This sentence pierced the sore spot which Meng Yanchen was the most powerless to change, and his face contorted slightly. Facing this loser, Song Yan had no interest in continuing to humiliate him. After saying these words, he started to walk into the corridor. After taking just two steps, behind him, Meng Yanchen said: ¡°You and her won¡¯t work out.¡± Song Yan stopped. Meng Yanchen said: ¡°As long as the family disagrees, she can¡¯t have a relationship with you. She doesn¡¯t go home these days, she¡¯s just avoiding the issue, can¡¯t you see?¡± Song Yan knew in his heart that a week had passed since Fu Wenying called Xu Qin that morning. That weekend, Xu Qin did not return to the Meng family house with the excuse of working overtime. He smiled faintly: ¡°It¡¯s not your job to worry about it. Whether I can keep her or not, depends on my ability.¡± The man continued to walk in. ¡°And then what, let her give up everything for you and satisfy your selfish desires, so you can feel at ease?¡± Finally, a trace of disgust crossed Meng Yanchen¡¯s face, ¡°Song Yan, do you deserve her?¡± Song Yan stopped again. ¡°Ask yourself, are you worthy of her?¡± Meng Yanchen said unhurriedly, with a flat smile full of sarcasm and contempt, ¡°Look at the environment of this community and where she lives. If it weren¡¯t for her, you wouldn¡¯t even be able to enter the front gate of this neighborhood. Think about it, isn¡¯t it obvious?¡± Song Yan¡¯s fists tightened more and more, his veins bulged, as if he would turn around and punch him in the face in the next second, but, Meng Yanchen said word by word: ¡°Just based on the fact that all these years you still haven¡¯t got something to show for your efforts, you are not worthy.¡± Song Yan¡¯s clenched fists held, held, and then slowly relaxed. ¡°Back then, you were dumped because of the disparity in your family background, but if you had even a sliver of bravery and a sliver of backbone, you should have tried every possible way and means to get ahead and be worthy of her. But now, huh, I thought you could at least have something to offer, guess I overestimated you. Look at you now, from head to toe, what do you have? Let her fight and lose everything she had in the past because of you,¡± reaching here, Meng Yanchen said, with hatred in his words, ¡°Why you?¡± Song Yan stood there for a few seconds without saying a word. Half a moment later, he turned around, walked back to the opposite side of Meng Yanchen, walked under the streetlight, and leaned against the streetlight pole. The street lights hit his head from top to bottom, leaving deep shadows in his eye sockets. He took out the cigarette box from his pocket, took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth, blocked the cold wind with his hand, lit it, and blew out a puff. He squinted slightly, looked at Meng Yanchen through the smoke, raised his hand, and asked: ¡°Want one?¡± Meng Yanchen stood on the other side of the passage, indifferent, and did not respond. Song Yan curled the corners of his lips very lightly, but there was no smile at all. He stuffed the cigarette case and lighter back into his pocket, took another drag, and asked: ¡°Meng Yanchen, do you understand her?¡± ¡°Aside from knowing that she is sensitive and taciturn, what else do you know?¡± Song Yan asked with a faint smile, the smile disappeared after asking, ¡°You don¡¯t understand her at all.¡± Song Yan: ¡°I know, you hated me when we were in secondary school, hated me for spoiling her, hated me for teaching her to drink, smoke, fight, hated me for tricking her into bed.¡± Meng Yanchen¡¯s jaw tightened and his fists clenched. After all these years, it still haunted him. ¡°In reality, she was the one who begged me to take her to the bar; if I refused to let her smoke, she would snatch it; if she was by my side, I wouldn¡¯t fight, but then she would find someone to stir up trouble with. She wanted to play, be crazy, be wild, be free. If you have been suppressed for too long, your methods will become extreme.¡± Song Yan leaned his head on the lamppost and looked at the night sky. The light reflected in his eyes, as bright as broken glass. He exhaled a long puff of smoke towards the night sky, the smoke fell and enveloped his lonely face, ¡°But at that time, at least she was alive.¡± The night grew darker. Meng Yanchen stood in the night, his face pale. He had never seen what the alive Xu Qin from Song Yan¡¯s description looked like. Could it be that unfamiliar and warm girl who rushed into his arms just now? ¡°¡­¡­So, you asked, why me?¡± Song Yan slowly lowered his head and looked at Meng Yanchen. His eyes were as dark as the night, determined. ¡°Because of the sound of her laughter just now.¡± Meng Yanchen was pale and unable to refute. That¡¯s right, he could see the smile on her face clearly just now, she was alive, but she was strangled to death the moment she saw him. A sharp pain spread in his heart, uncontrollable. ¡°At that time, she was at least somewhat human. Now, well, ten years have passed, and she¡¯s been so oppressed there¡¯s barely any signs of courage.¡± Song Yan lowered his head slightly, lightly tapped the body of the cigarette with his index finger, tapping down the ash. He remembered that day when she got into the elevator, her face was miserable and helpless, she was about to cry, but she forced herself to look for the elevator buttons calmly and didn¡¯t dare to meet his eyes. She didn¡¯t even dare to tell him when she was angry or jealous, for fear that he would not like it and that she would be rejected; she looked like that child who was afraid to speak, eat, or make a sound when she first entered the Meng house. The more she cherished the warmth that she lost and regained, the more she feared being abandoned. With a jerk of his fingers, the soot broke and scattered in the wind. ¡°She treats you all as close relatives, what do you take her for?¡± Song Yan asked in a low voice, but the anger and hatred in his voice could no longer be suppressed, ¡°You don¡¯t know what kind of personality she has? She looks cold on the surface and doesn¡¯t appear to care about anything. In fact, she¡¯s just a coward, with a strong attachment to affection, get a hold of her lifeline and she¡¯s easy to control. Your family knows very well that no matter how well she pretends on the surface, she¡¯s a pushover on the inside. But you all don¡¯t care about how she will be bullied if she marries into someone else¡¯s family, as long as she¡¯s a good pawn to facilitate the connection between families to pave the way for your official career. Anyways, even if she is depressed to the point of death, she won¡¯t complain a word to you.¡± Hearing these words, Meng Yanchen could no longer restrain the grievance and resentment in his chest, and said ruthlessly: ¡°I won¡¯t use her to pave the way!¡± ¡°Can you protect her?!¡± Song Yan asked back, ¡°You can¡¯t even protect yourself, Meng Yanchen!¡± Meng Yanchen¡¯s face was pale, he lowered his voice and said forcefully: ¡°My parents are not as unbearable as you described. They have a set of rules they believe in, and these rules have indeed suppressed me, suppressed Qin Qin. But Qin Qin is their daughter, not a chess piece. ¡­¡­That¡¯s why,¡± he smiled with the corners of his mouth pulled, his pain was unbearable, ¡°it¡¯s because they regard Qin Qin as their own daughter, that I¡­¡­¡± I can¡¯t do things that are ¡°incestuous¡± in the eyes of my parents to hurt them. He couldn¡¯t go on, the pain in his mouth was endless, and his cheeks were almost twisted due to the pain. Song Yan was speechless, looked at Meng Yanchen, and suddenly in that moment understood the root of the tragedy between him and Xu Qin. But Song Yan didn¡¯t say anything, Meng Yanchen¡¯s pain was unbearable, and the truth might overwhelm him. ¡°Go back,¡± Song Yan said, ¡°you and your family, don¡¯t make things difficult for Xu Qin anymore.¡± Meng Yanchen shook his head very lightly, but he didn¡¯t know what he was denying. After a long silence, ¡°Did you know that she takes sleeping pills?¡± Song Yan suddenly said in a low voice, ¡°And also anti-depressants. You said this neighborhood is good, it is very good.¡± Song Yan raised his head, raised his chin, and looked at the lights of the houses above the tall buildings. ¡°Meng Yanchen, look up. What do you think? Based on her previous state, when will come the time that she will jump off the top up there?¡± The night wind blew, and Meng Yanchen¡¯s body shook violently, as if he was so thin that he became a piece of paper. That handsome face suddenly lost all color, leaving only a distressed expression. His whole person seemed to be in the deepest catastrophe, beyond redemption. Song Yan stopped lighting up his cigarette and let it burn out. He stood up straight from the streetlight, and said: ¡°No one in your family is qualified to say the word ¡®worthy¡¯ to me.¡± He threw away the cigarette and walked into the building. The lights in the corridor illuminated Song Yan, forming a long shadow outdoors. Soon, it was gone. Meng Yanchen stood alone in the cold winter night, suffering? Remorse? For ten years, day and night, he failed to get out. But at least, at least she¡¯s still here. In the future, how will he survive the days to come? He turned to leave, shaking slightly as he descended the steps. Step by step, he went further away. On the concrete floor, there were a few wet spots, like someone had left tears behind. It was unknown. ¡­ The water in the kettle boiled, gurgling and bubbling. The kettle screamed the alarm for a long time before Xu Qin realized it. She quickly picked up the kettle and poured water into the glass. After pouring, she stood in a daze for a while, not knowing what was happening with the two men below. She stretched out her hand unconsciously to get the glass, when she touched the wall of the glass it was scorching hot, and she shrank her fingers away suddenly, only then remembering that it was freshly boiled water. She blew on her finger for a while, but it was still hot. After realizing it, she quickly took it to rinse under cold water. At this time, the doorbell rang. Xu Qin was startled, and immediately turned off the faucet and ran to the door. Just as she was about to open the door, she thought about it and checked through the peephole, it was Song Yan. She took a big breath and immediately opened the door. When she saw him, she stopped breathing. Song Yan looked at her silently, without any expression on his face, and walked in. Xu Qin couldn¡¯t figure out what was going on in his heart, so she couldn¡¯t help but feel anxious. Without a word, he closed the door behind him. She whispered: ¡°You didn¡¯t fight, did you?¡± Song Yan turned to look at her, put his hand on the doorknob, and opened the door that had just been opened. He gestured with his chin out the door: ¡°Go, go down and see him.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s hair stood on end, she hurried to push the door shut. As soon as she turned around, Song Yan approached her whole body, pressing her tightly against the door panel. She pressed against his chest, sandwiched between him and the door panel, breathing hard. Looking up, she saw that his pupils were dark, staring at herself. Xu Qin didn¡¯t dare to provoke him right now, so after thinking about it, she reached out to touch his face. As soon as she touched his cheek, he squeezed her wrist tightly and pressed it to the door. She didn¡¯t have time to exclaim, his other hand had already ripped off her pants. His hand pinched her butt hard; her whole body was numb, she let out a soft cry, suddenly stood on tiptoe, raised her head, ¡°Wrong person, huh?¡± He leaned close to her ear and whispered, ¡°You¡¯re going to die.¡± CH 45 When Xu Qin got up early to brush her teeth, she found that the toothpaste was used up. She pulled open the medicine cabinet behind the mirror to look for new toothpaste, and saw several boxes of medication, which she had gotten different doctors in various hospital clinics to prescribe for her. She poked her head to look out of the bathroom, Song Yan had already gone downstairs. Xu Qin threw the pile of medication into the trash can, and pulled a few paper towels to cover it. After washing up, she went downstairs. Some of their breakfast had already been served. The fried eggs were golden and round, with a tangy aroma. Xu Qin took the garbage bag and put it by the door, then went back to the sink to wash her hands, and asked: ¡°It¡¯s Monday the day after tomorrow, are you going to work?¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan was filling a bowl with congee, ¡°My sick leave has gone on long enough.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin turned off the faucet and asked, ¡°Then I won¡¯t see you until a month later?¡± Hearing this, Song Yan glanced sideways at her. She was wiping her fingers with a paper towel. The surgeon¡¯s hands were white and thin, with slender fingers. Her face was calm, and she wiped her fingers slowly and carefully. He teased in a low voice: ¡°Living alone, you¡¯re not used to it anymore?¡± ¡°No, I always used to live alone.¡± She tried her best, ¡°These days with you being here, that¡¯s what I¡¯m not used to.¡± She took the bowl of congee from him, walked to the dining table and sat down. Song Yan thought it was funny, sat across from her, and said: ¡°Maybe I¡¯ll be back next weekend.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes lit up, but her expression remained unchanged, and she asked: ¡°Why do you say that?¡± ¡°I received documents at the end of last year, the work system in the squadron was reformed. The previous monthly leave system was replaced by a weekend rotation system.¡± Xu Qin asked about the details: ¡°What do you mean by weekend shifts? Are several groups of people on rotating weekend shifts and one group has a day off; or is it as long as there is a weekend, those who are not on duty can leave the camp and take two days off?¡± ¡°Recently I haven¡¯t returned to the squadron, so the specifics are still unclear.¡± Xu Qin scooped at the congee in her bowl, nodded slightly, no matter if it was one day or two days, she was already satisfied, at least she didn¡¯t have to wait a month. She said: ¡°It¡¯s pretty humane this way.¡± Song Yan stared at her expression, laughed, and said: ¡°There are even more humane ways.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°What?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Married individuals can go home every night.¡± ¡°¡­..¡± Xu Qin was dubious, ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Really.¡± Song Yan leaned forward a little, and Xu Qin could feel his imposing manner even from across the table. He stared at her with dark eyes, and coaxed in a low voice: ¡°You think about it, come and rescue me?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s face became hot. Rescue him for what, to let him come back every night to torment her? She regarded him with a blushing face, and was trying to judge whether he was flirting or serious when he said this, when her cellphone on the chair started to ring. Xu Qin quickly looked away and went to get her phone. Song Yan hooked the corners of his lips in a funny way, picked up the fried egg with chopsticks, and put it in his mouth to take a bite. Xu Qin turned around and picked up the phone. When she saw the words displayed on the screen, her heart skipped a beat. Without looking at Song Yan, she picked up the phone and walked quickly to the balcony to pick it up: ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°Qin Qin.¡± Fu Wenying¡¯s voice was a little low, and she could hear that she was not in a good mood. Xu Qin¡¯s scalp tingled immediately: ¡°Hey, mom.¡± ¡°Are you working again this weekend?¡± ¡°En.¡± ¡°I asked you to come back last weekend, but you didn¡¯t. This child has grown up, and become more and more disobedient.¡± Fu Wenying said, ¡°And doesn¡¯t miss their parents anymore.¡± Xu Qin walked to the corner of the balcony and said in a low voice: ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯m a little busy with work.¡± ¡°Look, didn¡¯t I say before, this job of yours neglects the family. You don¡¯t have time for blind dates, you don¡¯t have time for love, and in the future you won¡¯t have time for marriage. Qin Qin, you are 28, you are not young anymore, you know?¡± Xu Qin turned to look at Song Yan who was indoors, he was eating and ignored her. She looked back at the wintry Wu Fang Street downstairs, bit her lip slightly, and said: ¡°Mom, I can handle my own affairs.¡± As soon as these words came out, there was no reply for a few seconds. She rarely said such things. The long silence made Xu Qin feel a little uneasy: ¡°¡­¡­Mom?¡± ¡°Qin Qin,¡± Fu Wenying said again, ¡°Come home tonight, you haven¡¯t been home for a month.¡± Xu Qin raised her hand and pressed against her forehead: ¡°Tomorrow, I¡¯m off tomorrow, I will come back first thing in the morning¡ª¡± Fu Wenying interrupted: ¡°Come back tonight. If you are so busy that you can¡¯t come home for a month, I¡¯ll call your supervisor and ask for a leave of absence.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin frowned slightly. There was silence on both ends of the phone. After a long silence, Xu Qin said: ¡°Understood.¡± Fu Wenying hung up the phone. Xu Qin stood on the balcony, breathed slowly, relaxed the expression on her face, and then opened the French doors and walked back into the house. Song Yan didn¡¯t ask her about the phone call, only told her to eat breakfast while it was hot. He didn¡¯t say much, but she understood very well in her heart. She had avoided going back last week, and he knew it. After entering the elevator, Xu Qin asked: ¡°What will you do these two days?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Stay at home and rest.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin nodded, scratched her hand, and said, ¡°My mother urged me to go home again.¡± ¡°En.¡± Song Yan sized her up for a moment, then asked, ¡°Finding it difficult?¡± ¡°No.¡± Xu Qin immediately denied, and when she wanted to say something more, the elevator stopped halfway, and other residents walked in. Xu Qin pursed her lips and didn¡¯t continue. She waited until she got out of the elevator before talking again: ¡°I almost forgot that I met Zhai Miao in the hospital before. ¡­¡­Did you tell your family about us?¡± ¡°When they asked, I answered with one line. I didn¡¯t say much.¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°Zhai Miao¡¯s attitude towards me has changed quite a bit, I thought you told your family a lot.¡± Song Yan said briefly: ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡± He asked again, ¡°Why, does this make you stressed?¡± ¡°No.¡± She immediately denied it again. While talking, the two had already walked out of the corridor. Song Yan squinted at the gray January sky, then looked at Xu Qin, and said: ¡°Go to work. Be careful on the road.¡± ¡°En, you should rest well at home.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Just as Xu Qin was about to leave, she took another step back and said: ¡°By the way, I won¡¯t be coming back tonight. I¡¯m going back to my mother¡¯s house.¡± Song Yan took out the cigarette case in his pocket and nodded to express his understanding. Xu Qin thought about it, and added: ¡°I will come back to find you tomorrow.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I¡¯ll wait for you.¡± ¡­¡­ When Xu Qin arrived at the hospital parking lot, there were still five minutes before the start of her shift. She hurried upstairs, changed her clothes and washed her hands. The nurses were gone, they had probably already gone to their posts. She quickly tidied herself up and walked out towards the consulting room. Before she got close to the hall, she heard ear-piercing noises making a clamor: ¡°It¡¯s your doctor who performed the operation, return my wife and my son!¡± She saw a group of people pulling Doctor Li from another group and pushing and shoving, A middle-aged woman about fifty years old screamed: ¡°Just giving birth to a child, how could somebody die? Acting as if we haven¡¯t given birth before?! It¡¯s your medical skills that are poor, blindly giving treatment!¡± A man in his early thirties beside her also yelled: ¡°My son was alive in my wife¡¯s stomach. He died after coming to your hospital. You killed my son!¡± It was the husband of the pregnant woman from the car accident that day. At this moment, a group of family members had gathered to make trouble, and the conflict escalated from pushing and shoving. They began to grab and beat Doctor Li. Several doctors and nurses next to them stepped forward to protect Doctor Li, and the security guards also rushed over to pull them away. The crowd of onlookers formed a large group. People who were going to the outpatient clinic to see a doctor passed by the emergency building and also followed the sound, watching curiously. Seeing there was an audience, the family members who came to make trouble suddenly became more arrogant and increasingly fierce: ¡°Everyone come and see, come and see, this doctor from the Third Hospital killed a pregnant woman, one corpse and two lives!¡± The two groups of people pushed and shoved even more fiercely. Xu Qin put her hands in her pockets and did not get close to the rioting crowd. She walked around them keeping a distance, returned to the office and took out her cellphone to call 110. Xiao Xi said: ¡°I called two minutes ago, the police will be here soon.¡± Xu Qin put away her phone. Xiao Nan frowned, her tone was already bad: ¡°What are they fussing about?¡± Xiao Xi said: ¡°They want the hospital to pay two million.¡± Xiao Nan stared: ¡°What?!¡± Xiao Bei immediately snorted coldly: ¡°Heh, it¡¯s so easy to make money these days. That day when the patient was brought in, Doctor Li already said that they wouldn¡¯t be able to keep the child alive, and would try their hardest to save the mother. That man and his mother refused regardless of life or death, insisting on telling the doctor to save the child. Doctor Li said on the spot that it was impossible, our hospital had no such precedent of not saving the adult. They saw that Doctor Li wanted to save the mother first so they procrastinated and quarreled. The patient was already in a dangerous condition but they continued to delay treatment. Well, now that the mother is dead, they are claiming Doctor Li made a mistake in the treatment, if the child was saved first, maybe they could have left an heir. Fuck.¡± Xiao Bei, who was always polite, was so angry that she swore, ¡°This kind of person is a rascal. He just wants to extort money from the hospital. After extorting money, he¡¯ll turn around to marry a new wife and have a new son. He won¡¯t remember how this current wife died.¡± Xu Qin remained silent, flipping through the medical records. ¡°In our line of work, the more we work, the more aggrieved we become.¡± Xiao Nan lowered her head and adjusted the bandages, and said, ¡°This hospital is such a good place. People are sent here, it¡¯s their right that they should be cured. If they aren¡¯t cured, they¡¯ll be paid a huge sum of money. If you¡¯ve already come here, you can¡¯t lose.¡± Xiao Dong: ¡°The last time I was suspected of being infected with AIDS, I didn¡¯t leave; but this is really annoying¡­¡­fortunately, I¡¯m just a nurse, not a doctor, otherwise I would have to bear the brunt of the accident.¡± Xu Qin said lightly: ¡°Don¡¯t think too much about it, it will all be resolved according to procedures. Doctor Li didn¡¯t do anything wrong, so nothing will happen.¡± Xiao Bei: ¡°Doctor Xu, you don¡¯t understand. That¡¯s how things may go, but I can¡¯t stand people making trouble. I¡¯m afraid that the hospital will pay compensation in order to settle the matter. It would be really letting that disgusting man off lightly.¡± Xiao Xi: ¡°Seeing this kind of man, I don¡¯t have any hope for marriage. What kind of marriage is this?¡± ¡°There are good men and bad men.¡± Xiao Nan, who was currently in love, was not yet in despair, ¡°But to be honest, you must be cautious when you get married, and you have to choose a good man. Otherwise, it¡¯s better not to get married.¡± As Xu Qin listened, she suddenly remembered those dark eyes. You think about it, come and rescue me? At this time, the siren sounded and the police came. They don¡¯t know whether it was mediation or the people were taken away, the emergency building finally returned to a quiet state. Except for this episode, the rest of the day¡¯s work would be as busy as usual, nothing different. Xu Qin had a minor operation before getting off work, and was half an hour later than usual. There was another traffic jam on the road, and it was already dark when she returned to the Meng family house. Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying had been waiting for her to eat dinner. Meng Yanchen wasn¡¯t there, she didn¡¯t see his car when she was outside. ¡°Yanchen came back last week, but you didn¡¯t; you came back this week, but he isn¡¯t here again. Was this planned or something?¡± Fu Wenying said. Xu Qin wiped her hands with a hot towel, but said nothing. ¡°Qin Qin, come, have a bowl of soup. I haven¡¯t seen you for a month. Let dad look at you. No matter how I look, it feels like you¡¯ve gotten thinner.¡± Meng Huaijin scooped up a bowl of scallop soup for her, ¡°Drink more.¡± ¡°Thank you Dad.¡± ¡°You and your brother haven¡¯t seen each other for a long time, right?¡± Fu Wenying asked. Xu Qin drank the soup and responded vaguely. Fu Wenying folded the napkin, thoughtful: ¡°Recently, I always feel that child has something on his mind and looks depressed. Qin Qin, ask him about it when you have time. I ask, but he is always melancholy and doesn¡¯t answer.¡± ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin ate silently. Fu Wenying looked at her for a long while, then sighed: ¡°The two children both don¡¯t like to talk, and the house is always deserted. You all should start families earlier. If you have children, the house will be lively.¡± When Xu Qin heard this, the alarm bell rang in her mind, and after a moment of deliberation, when she finally wanted to say something, Fu Wenying said: ¡°Which days will you be off next week? Last time your Auntie Ge came over, she said that her nephew was comparable to you, and she was also worried about finding him a girlfriend. It seems like he likes your type. Mom has seen his picture, and he looks pretty good. I¡¯ll make an appointment for you to meet each other.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t make a sound. Fu Wenying was picking up vegetables, but seeing no response, she turned to look at her: ¡°Qin Qin?¡± Xu Qin slowly put down her chopsticks: ¡°Mom, I have a boyfriend.¡± Surprise flashed across the faces of the parents. Fu Wenying put the vegetables into the bowl, lowered her eyes, pondered for a moment, and asked, ¡°How long have you been together?¡± ¡°More than ten days.¡± ¡°En.¡± Fu Wenying nodded slightly, with a calm complexion, and judged that this was just a simple and easy-to-clean up little fling, not worth mentioning, ¡°Then separate as soon as possible.¡± Xu Qin said: ¡°I have known him for more than ten years.¡± This time, Fu Wenying turned her eyes over, showing a little more vigilance. Xu Qin took a breath: ¡°It¡¯s my boyfriend from high school.¡± Fu Wenying raised her eyebrows slightly, as if recalling: ¡°Song¡­¡­¡± ¡°Song Yan.¡± ¡°En, what is he doing now?¡± Mother asked leisurely. Xu Qin lowered her voice slightly: ¡°Firefighter.¡± Fu Wenying¡¯s face was full of turmoil, as expected, she deliberately asked only to wake her up. She picked up the chopsticks again, and said with a final word: ¡°That¡¯s not allowed, neither your father nor I will agree.¡± CH 46 ¡°That¡¯s not allowed. Neither your father nor I will agree.¡± Xu Qin immediately looked at Meng Huaijin with a trace of nervousness in her eyes. Meng Huaijin frowned deeply, and sighed very long: ¡°Qin Qin, girls are easily blinded when they are in love. Dad is worried that you will be deceived.¡± Xu Qin replied: ¡°He hasn¡¯t deceived me, and I don¡¯t have much to have him deceive me for.¡± Meng Huaijin shook his head very lightly, and said earnestly: ¡°You are already blinded when you say this. People¡¯s hearts are complicated, and you can¡¯t understand them thoroughly after spending only a few days together. Regardless of whether he lied to you or not, even if he didn¡¯t, you have too many things, and what he has is not enough to match you. Look at your family backgrounds, education, living conditions, and job prospects. Which one of them aren¡¯t vastly different from each other? It is difficult to have good results in an unequal relationship. When you are in love, you can cast aside everything else, but if you really want to get married, the differences in your outlook on life and money will be exposed sooner or later, and problems, large and small, will emerge one after another.¡± Xu Qin calmed down for a while, and said softly: ¡°I don¡¯t see any big or small problems between me and him¡­¡­except for your objection.¡± Fu Wenying frowned, and was about to speak, but Meng Huaijin stopped her with his gaze, and said to Xu Qin: ¡°Dad knows that you see me and your mother as hostile forces now, but Dad still wants you to think carefully about how short you two have been together. What can it prove? There are no problems now, but it doesn¡¯t mean that there won¡¯t be any in the future. To give a very realistic example, if you like French food, you can eat French food for three or four thousand meals. As for him, he can take you to eat skewers for one or two hundred meals. Of course, you can eat skewers and eat with him everyday, but can he eat French food with you everyday? He will feel that three or four thousand meals of French food are almost equal to his monthly salary, which is too extravagant and wasteful. Clothing, food, housing, transportation¡­¡­such contradictions and differences exist in all aspects of life.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not just the difference in the concept of consumption and money, but also the outlook on life. Your growth environment is too different, which makes your understanding of the difficulty of life different.¡± Xu Qin looked at him seriously, and said: ¡°Dad, I understand what you¡¯ve said, and I¡¯ve thought about it for a long time. I¡¯ve been thinking about it for the past week.¡± ¡°And the results?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve figured it out.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°Now, I don¡¯t want to eat French food, and I don¡¯t want to eat skewers. I just want to eat his cooking. I¡¯ve been eating in restaurants every day for ten years, and I¡¯m sick of it. I want to eat in my own home from now on.¡± Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were stunned at the same time, they didn¡¯t expect her to say these words. For so many years, she had never expressed her own interest, nor had she ever disobeyed her parents¡¯ interests, this was the first time. It was as if the matryoshka doll that had been sitting in the closet suddenly had a mind and will of its own. Fu Wenying: ¡°What kind of chicken soup did that person feed you? You won¡¯t even listen to your parents anymore?¡± Meng Huaijin stopped Fu Wenying, and sighed again: ¡°Qin Qin, you are still looking at the problem too shallowly. When love is strong, drinking water is sweet. But once love wears off, even sugar water is bitter. When that happens, the ugliness of human nature will be multiplied, fighting for property, tearing each other apart¡­¡­you can¡¯t even imagine it. To put it bluntly, in this relationship, he is the one who gets to reap what he hasn¡¯t sown. Because of knowing you, how many years less can he work? Look at yourself right now, you don¡¯t care if he has no car, no house, no money, no decent job. Your mom and dad raised you up, pampered you, so many people waited on you, not to send you to someone else¡¯s house to wash dishes, wipe the floors, do laundry, and cook. Buying you the best things and keeping you well fed is not for you to use everything you have to subsidize your husband¡¯s family.¡± As for Xu Qin, hearing these few words, she couldn¡¯t help but have red eyes. It was poignant, but emotional. ¡°Your parents have more experience than you, and we don¡¯t want you to stumble and regret it. You must listen to your parents¡¯ opinions on such a big matter.¡± His words were sincere, and Xu Qin was also moved, but¡­¡­ ¡°Dad, I know you are worried and distressed. You don¡¯t believe him, but I know what kind of person he is. Can you trust me? And¡­¡­in this relationship, I am the one who is reaping what I haven¡¯t sown. And¡­¡­ ¡° It was the first time in her life that she had a conversation with her parents. She wanted to express too much, and she was confused. When she got stuck halfway, the thousands of reasons she had prepared for them faded away, leaving only the most instinctive and primitive one, engraved in her heart. She calmed down in an instant, scratched the table with her fingers, and her voice softened, ¡°I really like him.¡± Her voice was very soft, weak and trembling like yarn, ¡°I like him very much. It¡¯s the kind of like that makes me want to see him every day¡­¡­ I¡¯m happy as soon as I see him. I¡­¡­I just want to be happy, can¡¯t I?¡± ¡°It seems like, a day without meeting him, is like I¡¯ve never been happy before. What should I do?¡± The tip of her nose was slightly red, she sniffed her nose lightly, and regained her composure, looked at Fu Wenying, and said: ¡°Mom, you said, people can¡¯t want everything. I understand.¡± She nodded, ¡°If, to be with him, I have to lose everything, making life not so easy anymore; if, to be with him, I have to face the difficulties you mentioned, then¡­¡­I want to choose him, can I? ¡­¡­All I want is him, is that okay?¡± For so many years, she had never said, Dad, Mom, I want curly-haired dolls, not the straight-haired ones you chose; I want light blue for the color of my room, not the beige you chose; for my birthday dinner I want to eat Liang City¡¯s special dishes, I don¡¯t want to eat the local dishes you choose¡­¡­ It had never happened before. She never expressed her own preferences, not even once. Meng Huaijin frowned and fell silent. Fu Wenying also remained silent for a long time. She realized the changes in Xu Qin. She couldn¡¯t believe it, and she couldn¡¯t allow it. Such disobedience was like a serious crime in her eyes. She asked lightly: ¡°If you lose your parents and relatives, and lose your entire family, will you still choose him?¡± Xu Qin was startled, and stared at her; her expression was frozen, and she looked back coldly. ¡°Why does mother have to do this?¡± ¡°Otherwise, what should I do? Follow your wishes?! Qin Qin, look at your uncles and aunts, your cousins. The Meng family has gotten to where it is today, not based on following someone¡¯s wishes, nor relying on the word ¡°happiness¡± that came from your mouth. It was from attaching the most importance to the big picture and putting the family first. If everyone just wanted to be happy, the Meng family would have been crushed by their opponents long ago. I¡¯m not forcing you to marry anyone, but at least choose a decent one.¡± Fu Wenying thoroughly expressed her attitude, ¡°There is no room for discussion on this matter at all.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s complexion was slightly pale, and she didn¡¯t say a word. Fu Wenying glanced at her face, knowing that she had conveyed her meaning clearly enough, she picked up the chopsticks again. Xu Qin lowered her head, why was she at home, the home where she had lived for so many years. Where she sat, the notch on the edge of the table was made by her when she was a child. Her eyes were hot and her vision was a little blurred, but they were quickly blinked away. She reached into her pocket, took out a bunch of keys and put them on the dining table. When she let go, the metal knocked against the wooden table with a soft sound. Two keys, one for the car and one for the duplex. ¡°I don¡¯t have room for discussion either.¡± Xu Qin said. ¡°You!¡ª¡± Fu Wenying was startled, the usual elegance and calmness on her face was replaced by anger, ¡°You really want to break up with your family because of a man, and are willing to let go of everything else?¡± Meng Huaijin propped up his forehead with his hands, feeling distressed and helpless. Xu Qin shook her head: ¡°Even if I am kicked out of the house, you will always be my parents. I will repay the kindness of your nurturing. I will come back to see you every week. Even if you drive me out, scold me, and don¡¯t let me in, I will come. ¡­¡­If you are unhappy, you can scold me once a week. If you don¡¯t even want to scold me, don¡¯t want to talk to me, ¡­¡­I will still come to see you.¡± Fu Wenying felt that she was being outrageous, she sneered angrily: ¡°Do you think that one day I will become soft-hearted if you cajole me like this?¡± ¡°No.¡± Xu Qin looked straight at her and said, ¡°I¡¯m not holding out hope, and I also know that mom and dad won¡¯t be softhearted and won¡¯t forgive me. It¡¯s just that I have no other choice but this.¡± ¡°There is another way. Since you want to do it, then go all the way.¡± Fu Wenying said coldly, ¡°Leave the house now, and don¡¯t come back until you¡¯ve thought it through properly. Otherwise, even if the gate security allows you in, don¡¯t even think about appearing in front of me so easily again.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s lips trembled slightly, but she didn¡¯t move; Today¡¯s conversation had drained everything from her. After a while, she looked at Meng Huaijin. Meng Huaijin sighed: ¡°Qin Qin, you make dad so heartbroken.¡± After speaking, he got up and left the table. Xu Qin¡¯s heart suddenly felt like it was being stabbed by a knife, she could no longer control it, and a tear fell down. The familiar dining room twisted into a strange shape and melted into her tears. ¡­¡­ Song Yan had been busy at home for two consecutive days, Zhai Miao couldn¡¯t help but be surprised, squatting down beside him with the broom in her hand: ¡°Ge, if I remember correctly, these two days it¡¯s the weekend?¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yan was busy with the matter at hand, he didn¡¯t even raise his head. ¡°Before I went out this morning, I ran to your room to check my sister-in-law¡¯s shift schedule. She is off today. Actually, she has been off since six o¡¯clock yesterday afternoon.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yan glanced at her and said the same words. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you together? You have to go back to the barracks tomorrow, and you didn¡¯t take advantage of the opportunity to be lovey-dovey. Did you quarrel?¡± Song Yan snorted and laughed: ¡°No.¡± ¡°Then that means she¡¯s gotten bored of you and is going to get rid of you.¡± ¡°Bullshit.¡± Song Yan slapped her on the back of the head. ¡°What are you doing, your hands are covered in dust!¡± Zhai Miao screamed. Song Yan got up and walked out. ¡°Are you going to go find her?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to place an order for the sets I liked last time.¡± Song Yan turned around, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Zhai Miao went crazy: ¡°I¡¯m always called for running errands, treat me to ice cream!¡± ¡­¡­ During the two days that Xu Qin lived at home, the pressure in the house was suffocating. Fu Wenying seemed to have changed her plan, she kept a calm face and refused to talk to her from the beginning to the end, she didn¡¯t reason with her, and she didn¡¯t reprimand or scold her. This silent pressure was on Xu Qin, even worse than when there was sound. Until that afternoon, Fu Wenying spoke and said, ¡°Go shopping with mom.¡± Xu Qin agreed. Fu Wenying went to the shopping mall she frequented, which was full of luxury stores, and there were not many customers in the shopping mall. Walking into a store, the shopping assistant greeted her eagerly: ¡°Mrs. Meng, Miss Meng, welcome.¡± Serving tea and pouring water, they offered refreshments. ¡°A few limited-edition pieces came to the store last month, and they are specially reserved for you. Recently, many customers have inquired about them and they all want them. The manager specifically wanted you to take a look at them first to see if there are any that you like.¡± Fu Wenying sipped her tea, and said lightly: ¡°Take them out to have a look.¡± Xu Qin was silent and understood why she brought her here. ¡­¡­ Zhai Miao walked slowly in the mall with a cup of ice cream in her hand, and sighed: ¡°It¡¯s indeed the weekend, there are so many people.¡± No one answered. Looking back, Song Yan was buying donuts. Zhai Miao was happy and ran over: ¡°Ge.¡± Song Yan tossed her a small bag, holding a large box in his hand. Zhai Miao looked at hers and his: ¡°Who is that box in your hand for?¡± The corner of Song Yan¡¯s mouth curled up, but he didn¡¯t answer. ¡°Valuing sex over your cousin.¡± Zhai Miao complained. Song Yan said: ¡°If I don¡¯t meet up with her before I return to the team, give this to her tonight.¡± Zhai Miao rolled her eyes and said sourly, ¡°Aiya, it¡¯s like a box of donuts is as precious as gold.¡± Song Yan stopped and saw several lipstick counters. He took a cursory glance at them. Although these brands were all well-known, he couldn¡¯t tell the specific grade. He relied on the most intuitive judgment and finally stopped in front of a counter with the highest overall price. Zhai Miao still didn¡¯t give up: ¡°I¡¯ve helped you so much recently, do you want to reward me?¡± Song Yan picked at the colors without even looking at her: ¡°What kind of kid needs to wear lipstick?¡± Zhai Miao was speechless: ¡°Crap, people who have a girlfriend really are different. They think about her all the time. Was your cousin, I, picked up off the street?¡± Song Yan heard her words, turned his head to look at her, expressionless, as if her thoughts didn¡¯t stop at him, he turned his head and continued to pick. Zhai Miao: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She finally gave up, leaned her head back, held a ¡°knife¡± in her hand, and stabbed her own chest three times. ¡­¡­ Fu Wenying led Xu Qin out of the store while being sent off by the clerk. The bags they bought would be delivered to their door in person. Xu Qin didn¡¯t speak all the way, and followed Fu Wenying into the elevator. ¡°You want to go your own way and fight with me, I can treat you like this.¡± Fu Wenying smiled quietly and said, ¡°I¡¯ve said it before, I won¡¯t agree. That means, I won¡¯t agree.¡± Xu Qin looked at the reflective elevator wall, inside she was expressionless, like a withered person. The two left the mall and stood on the side of the road waiting for the driver to drive up from the parking lot. But what came was not the driver and their car, but a black, elegant, yet understated classic Porsche. The car stopped in front of them, and the driver got off. The man was about the same age as Meng Yanchen, dressed in a casual suit, with a handsome appearance. ¡°Auntie Fu,¡± he walked around from the front of the car and walked up the curb, his eyes fell on Xu Qin, ¡°Is this Qin Qin meimei?¡± Xu Qin was taken aback for a moment, and then remembered that this was probably the blind date Fu Wenying mentioned yesterday. She didn¡¯t expect her to¡­¡­ Xu Qin couldn¡¯t even maintain her politeness, she glanced at Fu Wenying, then looked at him, and said, ¡°I have¡­¡­¡± Fu Wenying interrupted: ¡°Driver Chen has gone to pick up your brother, your Han Ting ge will help drive us home. Remember to say thank you.¡± Xu Qin stared at her, wondering if what she said was true or not. ¡°Get in the car.¡± The man smiled and opened the passenger door. Xu Qin thought about it for half a second, and was about to get in the car, but she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head suddenly, and saw Song Yan standing not far away, looking at her. Xu Qin felt chills down her spine. Song Yan¡¯s expression wasn¡¯t too bad. Zhai Miao¡¯s expression was extremely ugly, but in the next second, she smiled and shouted: ¡°Sister-in-law!¡± Fu Wenying and the man were taken aback at the same time. Zhai Miao ran over: ¡°Sister-in-law, why are you here?¡± The man looked surprised: ¡°What did you call her?¡± ¡°She¡¯s my ge¡¯s girlfriend. What should I call her, if not sister-in-law? Sister-in-law, who is this?¡± Before Xu Qin could answer, Fu Wenying said lightly: ¡°Qin Qin doesn¡¯t have a boyfriend.¡± Fu Wenying looked at Xu Qin with warning eyes, expecting her not to lose face for her under such circumstances. But, ¡°I have one.¡± Xu Qin raised her hand and pointed at Song Yan, ¡°He¡¯s over there.¡± Fu Wenying¡¯s face changed suddenly, but she maintained her smile in the next second, and said, ¡°It was a short relationship, our family disagreed, so they separated.¡± The man didn¡¯t say much, and retreated to the position of a bystander. It wasn¡¯t clear whether he refused to comment out of politeness, or he also acquiesced to this principle. When Zhai Miao heard this, she couldn¡¯t bear it any longer, and tugged at Xu Qin violently: ¡°Hey, Xu Qin, is this your mother? Is what she said true? You think so too? Short relationship, played around for a while and then separated? ¡­¡­If you want to separate, you will separate? My brother just said that lightly, Xu Qin, don¡¯t be serious¡­¡­¡± She was so angry that her eyes were red, ¡°Don¡¯t deceive others too much.¡± Xu Qin was taken aback and shook her head violently. Looking at Song Yan again, he was standing a few steps away with his hands in his pockets, without saying a word from the beginning to the end, just looking at her calmly. She knew that he was waiting for her reply. For more than ten days, he has been waiting. Suddenly she was dying of heartache. She forgot, some words, she had still not said. He had said, regardless of the wind and rain tomorrow, they would be together today. Tomorrow, if she wanted to separate they could separate, But no. On that snowy day, when she agreed to be with him, she had already realized it. But she forgot to tell him. She walked towards him and stood a meter or two away from him, The cold January wind was blowing, her eyes were slightly red, she looked at him, and tremblingly said: ¡°Song Yan, ¡­¡­the day of the first snow, I was too hasty, and I didn¡¯t tell you a lot of things. Originally, there were a lot of things that I wanted to tell you at that time. I¡¯m sorry for telling you so late.¡± ¡°Song Yan, I will love you.¡± She said, ¡°I will work hard to love you like I will be with you tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.¡± ¡°This time, I will definitely not let you down first.¡± CH 47 ¡°Song Yan, I will love you.¡± Her words seemed to be still echoing in her ears, but the world was already quiet. Song Yan stared at her for a while and said, ¡°I know.¡± He walked towards her, took his hand out of his pocket, held her hand tightly, pulled her to his side, led her to Fu Wenying, nodded slightly, and said: ¡°Hello, Auntie.¡± Fu Wenying was standing gracefully with her bag in her hand, her eyes were already filled with cold light, but she still squeezed out a smile without a smile towards Song Yan. She looked calm and magnanimous. Even if there was great anger, she had to endure it first. She valued face and temperament the most. She was on the street at the moment, with Han Ting present, she would not expose her family scandal. What¡¯s more, in her whole life, she had never quarreled with anyone, let alone losing face. Whether it was disciplining and admonishing children, or dealing with subordinates who had done something wrong at work, she always smiled and suppressed coldly and violently with a pleasant face. She was a woman whose smile was more terrifying than her anger. Looking at Fu Wenying¡¯s face, Song Yan finally realized that Xu Qin¡¯s repressed and forced indifference and meanness must have been a victim of it since childhood. Unconsciously, he squeezed her hand even tighter. But in front of him was Xu Qin¡¯s mother, so he couldn¡¯t make things difficult for Xu Qin, let alone make the situation worse without knowing the circumstances. He nodded again, and said politely: ¡°Auntie, I¡¯m in a hurry today, I will visit your home another day.¡± ¡°No need.¡± Fu Wenying clearly expressed her refusal and non-acknowledgment in one sentence, her eyes didn¡¯t even bother to stay on Song Yan¡¯s face for half a second, then she looked at Xu Qin with a hint of sharpness in her eyes, ¡°Qin Qin. ¡° Xu Qin took a breath and said, ¡°Mom, I have to go to work tomorrow and it¡¯s already the afternoon, so I won¡¯t be going back to the west side.¡± Fu Wenying stared at her closely, and after a while, she smiled slightly: ¡°Okay.¡± She got in the car. As for Han Ting, he stood aside and felt the undercurrent in the calm tone of these people, yet he was not too embarrassed. He smiled politely at the two of them as if nothing had happened, nodded again as farewell, and left. Zhai Miao sighed: ¡°This is really a person who does big things.¡± Looking back at Xu Qin again: ¡°Cool, I¡¯m impressed with you.¡± Her voice faded¡ª Song Yan had already pulled Xu Qin into his arms, hugging her tightly, stroking the back of her head with his big palms, and whispered: ¡°You¡¯ve been wronged.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve been wronged.¡± He said it twice, his brows were deeply frowned, and his chin was pressed against her temples, as if he was holding a lost and recovered treasure. He knew that she must have been wronged, otherwise she wouldn¡¯t have been forced to rebound and say what she just said in front of everyone. Xu Qin put her arms around his waist and shook her head. Needless to say, he knew everything. And everything she did was worth it. ¡°Next time I will accompany you.¡± He said, ¡°I will accompany you every time in the future.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± She nodded. A day apart seemed like a year, there were countless things to say, and finally she settled on a sentence, ¡°Did you miss me?¡± ¡°I missed you, I¡¯ve been missing you the whole time.¡± Song Yan whispered in her ear, ¡°I thought I wouldn¡¯t be able to see you before returning to the team.¡± ¡°I also thought I wouldn¡¯t be able to see you before you returned to the team, I¡¯d have to wait until next week.¡± She said, ¡°Fortunately.¡± He also said: ¡°Fortunately.¡± Zhai Miao was carrying donuts and lipstick that didn¡¯t belong to her, and couldn¡¯t bear it any longer: ¡°Hey, there¡¯s still a light bulb here.¡± As if Song Yan didn¡¯t hear her, he lifted Xu Qin¡¯s chin, lowered his head and kissed her lips forcefully. Zhai Miao: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She rolled her eyes and turned around to look at the sky, stretched out two fingers and poked in front of her eyes, blinding herself. ¡­¡­ Xu Qin wanted to go back to Zong Lu Gardens to pack her things, and Zhai Miao also went along to help. Before entering the community, the security guard met them and asked Song Yan, ¡°Your key¡ª¡± Song Yan: ¡°You can give it to me now.¡± The security guard took out a bunch of keys and gave them to Song Yan, who handed them to Xu Qin. Xu Qin wondered: ¡°What is this?¡± ¡°The key to my house.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°I was worried that I would have already returned to the team when you came back, so I left the key with the security guard and asked him to give it to you when he sees you.¡± Two, one for the courtyard gate, and one for his room. Xu Qin had just separated herself from her family, and faced with such a meticulous and determined calculation, she felt a little mixed, and asked: ¡°You were sure I¡¯d be kicked out?¡± ¡°No. It was just in case,¡± he smiled wryly. ¡°You¡¯re pretty stubborn when you¡¯re stubborn. I was afraid you wouldn¡¯t have a place to go. You¡¯re still trying to be brave.¡± He said, ¡°I have to leave for a week. I was afraid that there would be some changes in the middle, and I wouldn¡¯t be able to take care of you. Leaving a key, at least you would have a place to stay and a family to rely on.¡± At the end, he sighed slightly, ¡°I didn¡¯t think it would be so soon.¡± Xu Qin was slightly stunned, her heart felt warm, and she apologized for her petty care just now, she couldn¡¯t help but tighten her grip on the key and him. Zhai Miao also said: ¡°That¡¯s right, sister-in-law, in the future my ge won¡¯t be able to leave if he¡¯s in the barracks. If anything happens, you can call me, and there¡¯s also my parents. Remember!¡± The tone of this instruction was exactly the same as that of Song Yan¡¯s. While talking, Zhai Miao¡¯s phone rang, and she answered: ¡°Mom?¡± ¡°.¡­¡­Dad doesn¡¯t need to come help, three people can move it. ¡­¡­I know, I won¡¯t be lazy. ¡­¡­Yes yes yes, my hand doesn¡¯t need to hold a scalpel, it¡¯s okay if it breaks.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± She didn¡¯t know what the other end of the phone was saying. After a few seconds, Zhai Miao asked Xu Qin: ¡°Sister-in-law, what kind of food do you like to eat?¡± Xu Qin was taken aback for a moment, then realized that auntie was going to buy groceries for dinner, so she thought about it hastily and said: ¡°Fish.¡± Zhai Miao said to the phone: ¡°She wants to eat fish.¡± After a few seconds, she asked Xu Qin again, ¡°What else?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°Beef, broccoli.¡± After Zhai Miao reported to the phone, what did the other end say? Zhai Miao asked Xu Qin again: ¡°My mother said that in addition to these, she will make you a lotus root pork bone soup? She said you Liang City people like to eat this?¡± Xu Qin nodded, her heart felt as if it had been soaking in a hot spring, about to melt open. She raised her eyes to look at Song Yan, wanting to thank him with her eyes. But he didn¡¯t care about this little episode, as if it was an extremely natural thing for him. ¡­¡­ It was Zhai Miao¡¯s first visit to Xu Qin¡¯s house, and she opened her eyes after entering the door. The house was big and new, with exquisite decoration; and on the high-rise building, the view was excellent, which was not something ordinary people could live in. The only shortcoming was probably that the huge home did not have the slightest breath of life, it was as clean as a place used for filming TV dramas. Only the pots and pans, oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar in the kitchen were left with a scent of smoke and fire, but judging from the newness, it was likely that Song Yan bought them after he came over. Zhai Miao whispered beside Song Yan: ¡°She really won¡¯t live here anymore? How much is this house worth?¡± After speaking, she encouraged him, ¡°But don¡¯t worry, your place is not worse than here. I¡¯ll wait and see, when it¡¯s done, it¡¯ll be even better than here.¡± Song Yan said: ¡°I will try my best.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s house didn¡¯t have many things, the only things she could tidy up were clothes, shoes and daily necessities. Zhai Miao went into her room to help her, looked at the luxurious big bed, carpet, and rows of closets in the room, and asked, ¡°Will you be reluctant to move away?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t thought about it before.¡± Xu Qin was asked by her, thought about it seriously, and said, ¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯m usually busy with work, and I don¡¯t spend much time at home. It¡¯s just a place to live.¡± Zhai Miao said ¡°Oh¡±: ¡°I was thinking that there would be memories wherever I live, and I would be reluctant to leave.¡± Xu Qin thought about it for a while, the memories from this house was just that she went home from the hospital alone, drank a glass of cold mineral water, washed up and went to sleep, and went to the hospital again after waking up. Sometimes she goes out in the morning and comes back at night; sometimes she goes out at night and comes back in the morning. Day after day, alone. Neighbors didn¡¯t know each other, and her parents had never been here. It was Meng Yanchen and Xiao Yixiao who came to visit occasionally. What could be called memories was the scene of her making tea at the counter and Song Yan mopping the floor in the living room on the day when the downstairs caught fire, in the golden autumn; Only in the past ten days, in this silver winter, were there images of him standing downstairs waiting for her to come home, going upstairs with her hand in his, and going downstairs with his arm around her shoulder the next day, sending her off to work. ¡°If I was asked to leave my family courtyard home, I would be reluctant.¡± Zhai Miao said to herself. Seeing a pile of brand-name bags in the closet, again, she asked: ¡°You don¡¯t want to take any of these away?¡± ¡°My mother bought them all.¡± Xu Qin glanced at them and finally picked out a few, ¡°These are gifts from friends.¡± Xu Qin put the bags away, and folded the clothes one by one, in an orderly manner, without any extra expressions or words. Zhai Miao looked at such a big house, she didn¡¯t have much to take away, so she felt a little sad for some reason. After a moment of silence, she walked to her side and whispered: ¡°Don¡¯t be sad, our whole family will treat you well.¡± Xu Qin froze for a moment, her heart was tugged unexpectedly. She also looked at her with some surprise. Zhai Miao thought she didn¡¯t believe her, so she hurriedly said: ¡°Really. I will never bully you. You see, I used to be the one who hated you the most in our family. I¡¯ve said so, so that¡¯s it. Just trust me.¡± Xu Qin curved her lips and nodded. ¡°Also, don¡¯t regret the bags you didn¡¯t take away with you. I will buy it for you in the future when I earn money. My ge will too. In fact, although my brother doesn¡¯t say many things, he really loves you, he¡¯s willing to do anything for you. Really, you¡¯ll see later.¡± The arc of Xu Qin¡¯s lips rose a little more. She was not a fool, how much he liked her could be seen from the attitude of his family. They all treated her well and pampered her simply because she was Song Yan¡¯s true love. ¡­¡­ As the sun set, the sunset covered the courtyard, and Song Yan¡¯s room was filled with orange-red warmth. The closet here was not as spacious as the one in Xu Qin¡¯s house, but she didn¡¯t usually wear many clothes, so it was more than enough to put them in after tidying them up. Song Yan squatted on the ground to unpack the cardboard boxes, accidentally took out two cans of fire extinguishers, then took out a safety hammer, and asked Xu Qin: ¡°Why did you move all this here? I was wondering why this box was so heavy.¡± ¡°You gave it to me.¡± Xu Qin spoke righteously, sitting on the sofa and folding clothes. ¡°I didn¡¯t see you go to the parking lot earlier.¡± Song Yan glanced at her with a gloomy look. She didn¡¯t know if he was teasing or admonishing, ¡°I put it in your car in case of emergencies. Meanwhile, you put it away as soon as I turned around.¡± He wiggled the safety hammer in his hand, ¡°Doctor Xu, outwardly complying but inwardly opposing, you¡¯ve done a great job.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t. I kept it there before. Then I thought I wouldn¡¯t drive that car in the future, so I took it out.¡± Xu Qin said. Song Yan was amused: ¡°It¡¯s a pity that you had to carry it up and down, you could have just asked me for another.¡± ¡°I wanted this one, problem?¡± Xu Qin said. Hearing this, Song Yan inadvertently raised his eyes to look at her, but he didn¡¯t reply. She lowered her head and folded the clothes, smoothing out the wrinkles on the clothes as she folded, her thin fingers seemed to be brushing against his heart. The hair at her temples hung down over her cheeks, dyed a warm orange-red by the glow of the sunset. At that moment, there was a feeling of eternity. Tenderness, peace. She felt his gaze, raised her head slightly to look at him, met his eyes, looked quietly for two seconds, and asked: ¡°What are you looking at?¡± He smiled and shook his head. But in the next second, his eyes became darker, he got up and went to close the door, walked back to hook an arm around her waist, and carried her to the bed. ¡°Song Yan, bear it for a while¡ª¡± she whispered. ¡°One week, I can¡¯t bear it anymore.¡± His voice became hoarse. She didn¡¯t have time to turn over, he had already pressed against her body and reached into her clothes. She struggled and pushed his hand, but couldn¡¯t push it away. He had become more and more proficient, he took off their clothes in two to three strokes, and turned her naked body over. She was anxious and angry, and lowered her voice: ¡°It¡¯s going to be dinner time soon, what if auntie comes over to call on us.¡± He smirked: ¡°Are you stupid, closing the door in broad daylight, they don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on inside? Who is so ignorant to knock on the door, huh?¡± She blushed suddenly, she didn¡¯t know if it was from embarrassment, nervousness, or the glow of the sun. ¡°Is the room soundproof?¡± Her nose was covered with sweat, she was pushed by him, regardless of up and down, her mind was still highly nervous, she was wary of the outside, ¡°What if they can hear us?¡± ¡°Then you bear it, keep your voice down.¡± He whispered in her ear with a bewitching voice. Xu Qin kicked him angrily, gritted her teeth, and buried her whole face in the pillow. ¡­¡­ ¡­¡­ With a thin quilt, Xu Qin lay in Song Yan¡¯s arms, taking a short nap. Outside the window, it was already dark. Song Yan reached for his cellphone on the bedside table to check the time, and when he moved slightly, she woke up: ¡°Are you leaving?¡± ¡°En.¡± He put down his phone, turned around and adjusted his posture, embracing her in his arms. She arched into his arms and found a comfortable position. She tended to move down when she was sleeping. At this moment, she was huddled under the quilt, with her head against his chest, her exhaled breath brushed against his chest like a feather. He felt a little itchy, and couldn¡¯t help but bend the corners of his lips. Finally, holding her face in his hands, he lowered his head and kissed her forehead. ¡°Xu Qin.¡± ¡°En?¡± She looked up, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± His thick thumb stroked her eyebrows back and forth: ¡°During your stay here, you don¡¯t need to try to make uncle and aunt happy. You don¡¯t like to talk, they have known since you were a child, and they won¡¯t mind. Just get along with them like before.¡± ¡°En.¡± She curled into his arms and nodded. There was the sound of his powerful heartbeat beside her ear, and she felt sleepy again. He lowered his head, longing for the tenderness when he was with her, and couldn¡¯t help but rub his chin on her head, brushing her hair: ¡°For the time being we¡¯ll live under the same roof as the elders, make do with it for a while, after two months, we¡¯ll go live somewhere else.¡± Xu Qin woke up slightly and raised her head: ¡°Live where?¡± ¡°Our own home.¡± Song Yan pinched her waist and hugged her upwards; she used his strength to crawl out and lay in his arms with a surprised look on her face, ¡°Where?¡± Song Yan smiled: ¡°You will know when the time comes.¡± There were light blue rooms, and there were pink ones; and many, many more things that you like. Xu Qin¡¯s eyes lit up, just when she was about to speak, Song Yan stopped her with a smile: ¡°No questions, it¡¯s a surprise.¡± She pursed her lips tightly, but couldn¡¯t hide the smile in her eyes. He watched her, couldn¡¯t help it again, leaned over and pecked and kissed her eyes several times, until an alarm sounded from his phone. He loosened his grip, stared at her for a long time, and said: ¡°I¡¯m leaving.¡± She nodded with some reluctance, lying on the pillow: ¡°En, go.¡± He touched her face with his fingertips before getting up, he couldn¡¯t help but make a long sigh, The feeling of leaving her alone at home was really terrible. maem: AHHHH his cousin and family are so sweeeeet ngl, my eyes were watery. I have it on good authority (tsuki) that the rest of the book will be sweet and filled with CP moments. At least I¡¯m pretty sure that¡¯s what tsuki said CH 48 On the first night of staying at Song Yan¡¯s house, Xu Qin had a hard time falling asleep. Xu Qin ate dinner with uncle¡¯s family. Song Yan was in a hurry and left without eating. As for why he was in a hurry, everyone was well aware. As for Xu Qin, everything had been done already anyway, so she didn¡¯t bother to be embarrassed. Both uncle and aunt had good personalities, they were informal and not pretentious, they could eat a meal together quite comfortably. After dinner, uncle and aunt cleaned up the dishes, Xu Qin glanced at them and was about to move; Zhai Miao was lying on the sofa playing with her cellphone, and without looking up: ¡°I don¡¯t even help, so don¡¯t meddle. They get along really well.¡± In the evening, she did some woodworking together with uncle in the yard for a while. She didn¡¯t speak much, there was only the sound of the blade scraping the wood, and the fragrance of the logs wafted in the cold wind. Not long after, the elders went to bed early, and Xu Qin went back to her room early to rest. But for some reason, she couldn¡¯t fall asleep. Almost anyone would have difficulty sleeping during a major turning point in one¡¯s life. What¡¯s more, at this moment, she was alone in an unfamiliar environment. The night was getting deeper and deeper. Look at the time, it was already one o¡¯clock in the morning. Xu Qin tossed and turned on the bed by herself, and suddenly found that, at some point, the moon had come out, illuminating the window brightly. The moonlight was excellent tonight, and the shadows of the trees were mottled on the wooden windows. She was lying on her side, looking at the jagged tree shadows, they looked like a quiet ink painting. Song Yan had been living here the whole time. While she was in a daze, her phone rang. Knowing that it was Song Yan, she immediately got up and grabbed the phone to pick it up: ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°Haven¡¯t slept yet?¡± He asked, his end was very quiet, which made his voice low and deep, it was especially nice. ¡°How do you know?¡± she asked, lying on the pillow. ¡°The phone was answered too quickly.¡± He laughed, ¡°I also guessed that you wouldn¡¯t be able to fall asleep. ¡­¡­What¡¯s wrong, you¡¯re not used to it?¡± Xu Qin scratched her forehead with her index finger: ¡°A little bit.¡± He was silent for a while, and asked: ¡°Upset?¡± ¡°No.¡± She smiled dumbly, and lay back under the quilt. On the other end, Song Yan walked out of the building lightly, walked onto the field, and said: ¡°Sorry, I didn¡¯t expect things to happen so suddenly, if I stayed with you at home for a while, you might have gotten more used to it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°It¡¯s not the first time I¡¯ve met uncle and aunt. Besides, they liked me quite a lot before when we were in high school.¡± ¡°They also like you now.¡± Song Yan said. He seemed to have come to an air vent, and the wind was whistling through the receiver, so he covered it to avoid it, and when the wind subsided, he asked again, ¡°Are you comfortable getting along with uncle and the others?¡± ¡°En, I carved some wooden flowers with uncle for a while tonight.¡± Xu Qin said, stretching her feet under the quilt, and asked, ¡°What about you, what did you do tonight?¡± ¡°Organized some internal affairs, trained the team, trained the dog.¡± ¡°Is it that rescue dog from the last earthquake?¡± ¡°En, you didn¡¯t know did you, it performed outstandingly and scored a second-class merit.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°That son of a bitch is clever and knows that it has done a meritorious service. It holds its head up and wags its tail arrogantly all day long. Just wait until I show it who¡¯s boss.¡± Xu Qin was amused by him, got excited, turned over again and asked: ¡°What¡¯s its name?¡± The wind was strong, he smiled lightly and said: ¡°Xiao Meng.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin picked the pillow with her index finger, ¡°It¡¯s not because of me is it?¡± ¡°What do you think?¡± He asked leisurely. ¡°It can only be because of me, otherwise just you wait.¡± It was rare for her to be ¡°proud of being favored¡±. He burst out laughing. She also laughed: ¡°How old is it?¡± ¡°Almost four years old.¡± ¡°Has a good relationship with you?¡± ¡°Nonsense.¡± He smiled lowly again, and said, ¡°Likes me. ¡­¡­Only likes me.¡± For some reason, on her side, her heart skipped a beat, and she couldn¡¯t help but curl the corners of her lips. In the dead of night, a telephone line connected the shallow breathing and longing at both ends. ¡°Why are you sleeping so late today?¡± she asked. ¡°I¡¯m not used to it either.¡± He sighed slightly, a little helplessly. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± She thought for a while, and asked intentionally, ¡°Have you been recuperating at home for too long?¡± ¡°I left you at home by yourself,¡± he said. In the past, every time he went back to the barracks, it was very brisk and efficient, but this time, there were worries and fetters. As soon as she lowered her head, she smiled silently. She clearly knew it already, but she was only happy when she heard him say it himself. Gradually, she couldn¡¯t help it, and laughed out loud. ¡°What are you laughing at?¡± he asked. ¡°The blankets and the bed are full of your scent.¡± She said, her voice very soft in the night. She wouldn¡¯t realize how much those words teased him. Hearing her soft voice on the other end of the phone, and thinking of her rolling on his bed, for a while it was unbearable, but in the end he could only let out a long, forbearing breath and suppressed it. She was lying under the warm blanket, and he was standing on the windy field, back and forth, unknowingly chatting for more than half an hour. Until, she felt drowsy and slowly yawned a few times. He told her to go to bed, and was about to hang up the phone, then called again at the last moment: ¡°Xu Qin.¡± ¡°En?¡± ¡°Once work gets busy, I can¡¯t contact you often, so don¡¯t think too much of it.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°But I¡¯ll send you a text message whenever I¡¯m free.¡± ¡°Got it.¡± Xu Qin curled up under the blanket and said softly, feeling sleepy. ¡°Be good.¡± ¡°Mmm.¡± The pillow and the blanket were full of his scent, she curled up in it, gradually closed her eyes, and fell asleep peacefully. Early the next morning, Xu Qin woke up in the sunlight shining through the wooden window. Although she had slept late the night before, she was in good spirits and did not feel sleepy at all. After washing up, she ate the breakfast made by uncle and took a taxi to the hospital. Xu Qin sat in the back seat of the taxi, leaning against the window and looking at the tall buildings outside. She suddenly remembered that the last time she took a taxi to and from work was after the heavy rain, her car had been scrapped. During that time, she sat in the car in a depressed mood. Today, her heart was peaceful, she was calm, and she had a place to stay. Although she had to be separated from Song Yan for a week, it would not affect her work. After all, this feeling was more like a backer behind her, making her more devoted and calmer in her work. It was just that she stopped occasionally in between busy intervals, checked the text messages he sent a few hours ago, and replied with a few words. He may have to wait until very late or see it the next day before replying. Occasionally, when her mind flickered, she thought about what he was doing at the moment. Maybe they were practicing, they were continuing training, maybe they were on duty, or maybe the fire truck had just passed the street in front of the hospital. But she only thought about it, let it pass, and continued to walk through the corridors of the hospital with her hands in her pockets. Work at the hospital was still busy, and those seeking medical attention were still coming in and out. The difference was probably that the man and his mother who came to the hospital to make trouble became squatters, coming to the hospital to make a scene everyday, accusing Doctor Li of killing his wife and son. Considering Doctor Li¡¯s safety, the hospital gave him a vacation. The man and his mother couldn¡¯t find a place to vent, so they cast a wide net and put up a banner at the entrance of the hospital, cursing whenever medical staff came in and out, and cursing repeatedly when they encountered patients. The police came to persuade and reprimand the man several times. But the old woman, relying on her age, played tricks at every turn, rolling and crying. The police also got annoyed, and gradually, stopped caring about the matter. That family was so unscrupulous, they had probably made up their minds: anyway, if they shamelessly squander around, the hospital will be overwhelmed sooner or later. After a few days, colleagues also complained about this. Work was already tiring, but they had to let people scold their parents and ancestors when they went to and from work. Who would be in a good mood when they were met with this? Xu Qin went to and from work everyday amidst their curses, with a calm face, unaffected, as if she didn¡¯t hear them. The nurses were not as calm as her. The first thing Xiao Xi said every day when she got to work was what good food she had eaten, but now she complained: ¡°I was scolded again when I just entered the door. When will that family outside leave? Are they really going to spend the rest of their lives at our hospital?¡± But Xiao Dong said: ¡°Let them hang around. I¡¯m mostly afraid that the hospital will settle the matter and give them money. That would make me angry.¡± Xiao Nan said: ¡°Don¡¯t worry, it won¡¯t happen. I asked Director Liu the other day, and he said that the leadership was determined this time. They sealed up all the case materials and videos and sent them to a third-party appraisal. They were determined not to settle with money, not even a penny. Otherwise, this precedent will be set. In the future, everyone will come to our Third Military Hospital, thinking this is a bank or something.¡± Xiao Bei also said: ¡°That¡¯s right. Doesn¡¯t settling mean that Doctor Li made a wrong diagnosis? How will Doctor Li work in the future? For his honor and dignity, they can¡¯t settle.¡± Hearing what they said, Xiao Xi calmed down and said, ¡°As long as we don¡¯t settle, they can scold us as much as they¡¯d like. As long as we don¡¯t let them get their way, I¡¯m willing to be scolded a few times.¡± Xu Qin, as usual, did not participate in their conversation, but only dedicatedly prepared for work. Since the end of the earthquake rescue, she had become a famous doctor in the hospital, and was the best candidate for the promotion to attending physician this time. Professor Xu Ken also began to call her frequently to assist him in operations, and sometimes even the major cases were directly handed over to her as the chief surgeon, while he instructed and taught her from the side. It was just that, as usual, Professor Xu didn¡¯t show any kindness towards her, and was even harsher than before, almost to the point of criticizing her. Several times, he admonished her in front of all the doctors and nurses. If it was someone else, perhaps they would be scolded until they were red-faced and wouldn¡¯t be able to stay any longer. But she didn¡¯t care too much, and automatically ignored his mean side, extracted key information, and seized every opportunity to learn from him. But gradually, gossip began to spread from colleagues, doctors to nurses, and from nurses to Xu Qin¡¯s ears. It was said that Xu Qin has a strong background, and her position had already been decided behind closed doors. This time, her outstanding performance in the earthquake rescue just gave the hospital leadership an excuse to get Xu Qin promoted. Under pressure from the hospital, Professor Xu Ken had no choice but to take her under his wing. But after all, the professor had a temper, so he suppressed her in various ways. There were a lot of rumors going around, but Xu Qin didn¡¯t think that Professor Xu was that kind of person. Xiao Xi was quite aggrieved for her, saying: ¡°Doctor Yang Sijia from the burn department is too annoying. His own medical skills are not as good as Doctor Xu, so he talks behind her back all day long.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t take it to heart, lowered her head and washed her hands diligently, thinking about an operation procedure she had led together with the professor not long ago. Xiao Dong also said: ¡°Professor Xu is really stubborn. He had a bad first impression of Doctor Xu, so he hasn¡¯t been able to change his mind.¡± She also used to have a bad first impression of Xu Qin, but after working for half a year, she found that although Xu Qin was not very talkative and looked indifferent, she was serious and responsible, dedicated to her work, did not engage in interpersonal relationships, was not complicated to get along with, rather she was relaxed and comfortable. Xu Qin was thinking about the operation and didn¡¯t pay much attention to their conversation. Until Xiao Bei rushed in, panting: ¡°It¡¯s over, it¡¯s over, something happened. That man and his mother are going to jump off the building, now they both climbed to the roof of the outpatient department!¡± ¡°Who?¡± ¡°Those two who make trouble at the door everyday claiming they want 2 million!¡± Everyone: ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°Let him jump, he deserves it if he dies!¡± Xiao Xi was the first to complain, ¡°It¡¯s really one thing after another, it¡¯s endless.¡± Xiao Nan pushed her lightly, but then said again: ¡°They wouldn¡¯t really jump, would they? They should just be making some trouble, these kinds of people are the most afraid of death. It¡¯s probably because they have been making trouble for so long, and realized the hospital won¡¯t let go or settle, so they just played this game.¡± She ended with a comment, ¡°They really are such scoundrels.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s precisely this strategy that can create a sensation. Now the entrance of the hospital is paralyzed.¡± A few people went outside to see the situation. After Xu Qin washed her hands, she stuffed them in her pockets and walked towards the office. She was not interested in getting in on the action. Behind her, Xiao Dong complained: ¡°Threatening with their own lives, this time the hospital has no choice. If they really jump off the building and die, our hospital is finished.¡± Xiao Xi said: ¡°Don¡¯t say that, 110 and 119 have been notified, just get them down from up there first.¡± This time, even Xiao Nan couldn¡¯t bear it anymore, maybe because she thought of her boyfriend Tong Ming who was a firefighter, and said angrily: ¡°Wasting social resources, why don¡¯t people like this go¡­¡­¡± As the words came to her lips, she thought that if they died, both sides of the hospital and fire brigade would be unlucky, so she suppressed her anger. When Xu Qin heard the three numbers 119, she stopped suddenly, remembering that jumping off the building was also under the responsibility of the firefighters. She couldn¡¯t help but frown, After thinking about it, she turned around and decided to go out and have a look. CH 49 Outside the building, the sound of fire sirens was getting closer. Xu Qin walked through the corridor and took a look through the window, just in time to see the red fire truck parting the crowd and driving into the hospital compound. She quickened her pace and walked out of the building. The fire engine had stopped, and several firefighters jumped down from the tall truck. Among the uniformly dressed men, she saw Song Yan at a glance. It was just the back of his figure, he quickly flashed away, blocked by fire trucks and the crowd, and disappeared. She didn¡¯t get close to the crowd, but stood at the door of the emergency building and looked up. The outpatient building was twenty-one stories high, there were two people standing on the top, waving their arms, looking very agitated. They seemed to be shouting, but the wind was too strong and the building was too high, plus the crowd downstairs was full of discourse, so they couldn¡¯t hear them at all. Song Yan walked towards the entrance and looked up at the people on the top of the building. Those two people stretched out their hands and feet from time to time, which caused the onlookers downstairs to exclaim. He looked back and asked the person in charge of the hospital: ¡°What¡¯s the situation?¡± ¡°Organized disruption by aggrieved family members. They are threatening to jump off the building. Colleagues upstairs are trying to persuade them, but they aren¡¯t listening, not allowing us to approach.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Tong Ming, Xiao Ge, the two of you go to the roof first.¡± He specifically instructed, ¡°Take safety measures.¡± Turning back again, ¡°Lao Dong, ascend the ladder, get him down.¡± Lao Dong got into the truck to operate, and the ladder on the fire truck was slowly lifted up. Just as he raised his head, before it started to rise, there was a fierce cry from the roof. Song Yan raised his head and squinted his eyes. Those two people waved their hands and feet, they didn¡¯t know what they were shouting, they couldn¡¯t hear a word. But Song Yan quickly raised his hand, and Lao Dong immediately stopped operating. The walkie-talkie in the person in charge¡¯s hand rang, and a colleague from the top of the building said: ¡°Don¡¯t move, don¡¯t move, this person is in a very agitated emotional state, he said if you raise that ladder again, he will jump off.¡± The intercom was vaguely accompanied by the man¡¯s screams: ¡°My wife and child are dead, and I don¡¯t want to live anymore. I don¡¯t want you to save me! Don¡¯t think that if you save me everything will be fine!¡± Song Yan pursed his lips and frowned in thought. The person in charge looked at Song Yan and was also troubled: ¡°Captain, what should we do?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Yang Chi, you guys go to build an air mattress. Go behind the building¡ª¡± The person in charge hurriedly said: ¡°No, what if he sees it and gets agitated again, and jumps.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Go to the back of the building. Once it¡¯s set up, move it to the front while they¡¯re not paying attention.¡± After speaking, he walked into the building, ¡°I¡¯ll go up and have a look.¡± Xu Qin guessed what was going on when she saw that the ladder was not going up, and a few firefighters went behind the building with air cushions. The two people upstairs were getting more and more agitated; the crowd downstairs was also getting bigger and bigger, and the traffic was jammed. She was afraid that if they continued to squander like this, the firefighters could only find a way from the top of the building, then¡­¡­ She put her hands in her pockets and walked through the crowd towards the outpatient building. Around her, the people watching the scene gathered together to discuss: ¡°They¡¯re so pitiful, being forced to the point of jumping off the building.¡± ¡°I heard that his wife was pregnant and was put to death, his son was lost too.¡± ¡°Being pregnant can cause death? Did this doctor pull his education out from his ass?¡± ¡°It¡¯s such a big mess now, let¡¯s see how they clean it up. They have to make trouble, if they don¡¯t, no one will care.¡± Xu Qin entered the outpatient building and went up to the top floor. Normally, the door to the top stairwell was locked, but it had been broken into. There was nothing on the roof, and the ground was covered with gravel. There were no railings on the edges of the roof, only a step less than half a meter above the sandy ground. The mother and son pair were standing on the step, with a 21-story abyss beneath their feet. The wind was very loud above the tall buildings, causing their down jackets to whistle, the sound was horrifying. Several directors and doctors stood ten meters away from them, persuading them, ¡°You guys come down first, if there¡¯s something you want to talk about, let¡¯s go to the conference room to talk!¡± ¡°No talking, there¡¯s nothing to talk about!¡± The obese woman in her fifties interrupted roughly, ¡°My daughter-in-law was such a good person, filial and hardworking, and knew how to make money. You caused her death. My son was left ruined and destitute because of you. If you won¡¯t pay for damages then there¡¯s nothing to talk about!¡± Her son in his thirties followed suit and shouted: ¡°If you want to talk, talk here, just say whether or not you will pay!¡± Director Liu tried to mediate: ¡°Now society is ruled by law, you have to be reasonable, if you have any dissatisfaction, you can go to a lawyer to file a lawsuit¡ª¡± ¡°You guys are rich and powerful, you must have bribed the court.¡± The man roared, ¡°We have no money or power, so we can¡¯t sue you. Then let the people watching downstairs be the judge!¡± On the other side, several firefighters turned a blind eye to the dispute, did not stand in line, did not comment, and took protective measures silently and seriously, each tying safety ropes to their bodies. Song Yan¡¯s expression was calm, he glanced at where the two were standing, then looked at his feet, and quickly judged that the distance was about six or seven meters. He could take advantage of the man¡¯s distraction, rush to grab him in two seconds, flip him off the step and pin him to the ground. But¡ª there were two people over there. The degree of uncertainty had greatly increased. He couldn¡¯t catch two at the same time, and if two team members rushed over, they may not be in sync, leaving gaps between the two time periods, or the four of them might bump into each other and cause an accident. Just as he was thinking about it, the police arrived, The troublemaker and his mother were even more agitated when they saw the police: ¡°You and the hospital are on the same team. If you wanted to solve the problem, you already would have let the hospital pay. You all don¡¯t take the lives of ordinary people seriously. Alright, I will jump today, everyone down below is watching, it¡¯s over for your hospital. Even if I die, I will let everyone see how your hospital hurts people! This is my last warning, if the matter is not resolved, then I will really jump!¡± As he spoke, he edged out past the step. The faces of the doctors and police officers on the rooftop suddenly changed, and just as Song Yan and Tong Ming were about to rush up to pull them away, there was a mocking sound in the wind: ¡°If you want to jump, then jump quickly, so much nonsense.¡± Xu Qin put her hands in the pockets of her white coat, with a cold expression. She walked towards them, looking calmly at the mother and son and not at anyone else. ¡°What the hell did you say?¡± The man couldn¡¯t believe it, retracted his body, and cursed, ¡°Sure enough! The people in your hospital want me to die!¡± ¡°You¡¯re corrrect,¡± Xu Qin said flatly, ¡°Go to hell.¡± ¡°You¡ª¡± the man was so angry that his face was distorted, and he was about to curse, when he saw Xu Qin approaching, he pointed, ¡°I¡¯m warning you, don¡¯t come over, if you come any further¡ª¡± ¡°If I come any further then you¡¯ll jump.¡± Xu Qin had already walked until she was only three or four meters away from him, looked up at him on the step, and said, ¡°Go ahead and jump.¡± ¡°You¡ª¡± the man¡¯s legs trembled, and he pointed at the policeman, ¡°Did you see that? The doctor here wants me to die, so arrest her.¡± He rushed towards Xu Qin again, and said ferociously, ¡°You have guts, you want to force me to death? Haha, if I really jump, you won¡¯t be able to get away with it, so don¡¯t fucking think you can keep working here!¡± ¡°Right, I forced you to death. I won¡¯t be a doctor anymore in this lifetime.¡± Xu Qin said coldly, ¡°You jump right now!¡± The man was startled, the face of the woman in front of him was extremely ruthless in the cold wind, ¡°You won¡¯t get a single penny. If you jump to your death or become disabled, none of the doctors here will save you!¡± The two were extremely stunned, emboldened by hatred, looked downstairs, and saw that the air cushion had been set up. The man rolled shifted his eyes, planning something, Xu Qin: ¡°The air cushion is useless. The building is too tall. If you fall, you will break your arms and legs, and you will be paraplegic to a high degree. Go jump.¡± The man had no guts and trembled. His mother flushed red, pointed at Xu Qin and scolded: ¡°You bitch, did the hospital send you here? You want to force us to death, huh? It¡¯s just a small amount of money. How much black-hearted money has your hopital collected and how much have they earned, huh?¡± Xu Qin looked at her coolly, a trace of disgust flashed in her eyes, and she said firmly: ¡°Do you know why the hospital can¡¯t give you money?¡± This time the two said in unison: ¡°Why?¡± ¡°After giving money, it will become a stain on Dr. Li.¡± The two don¡¯t understand at all, let alone care. ¡°Dr. Li is the most promising obstetrician in the hospital. He has studied medicine for more than ten years and studied everywhere, step by step to where he is today. It is true that some doctors only work to support their families, but some doctors are benevolent. Those who have humanity in their hearts have the pursuit and belief in the science of medicine. Dr. Li is such a person. He studies medicine to save lives and heal the wounded, to break through academic boundaries and create miracles for the entire industry and even mankind, not to be wasted on trash like you.¡± ¡°Do you know how much it costs schools, hospitals, and the country to train such a doctor? Of course the hospital can¡¯t give you money. After all¡­why should his future be ruined by trash like you?¡± Xu Qin asked, staring at the man. ¡°Did you call my son trash?¡± The woman was furious. The man also had a fierce look in his eyes, his face was flushed, as if it would explode in the next second. ¡°People don¡¯t need to be so lofty to live. They just need to be self-reliant and not be a burden to society. But look at how many public officials have been played by you now. Look at the firefighters here who are prepared to save you. They didn¡¯t choose to do this job so that they could sacrifice their lives for you!¡± Her chest rose and fell, and she said word by word, ¡°A man in his thirties with no responsibility or ability. Your wife was blind to marry you. Not only dying because of you, you still rely on her to extort money? If people like you aren¡¯t trash then what are you, go die as soon as possible.¡± ¡°You stinky bitch!¡± The man finally took the bait, was so provoked that he lost his mind, jumped down from the step, and rushed towards Xu Qin. Song Yan rushed over in an instant, but it was towards the strong woman who rushed to the step. The woman¡¯s attention had long been drawn away by Xu Qin, she sensed that someone was attacking and she couldn¡¯t dodge it in time. Song Yan rushed to her side and grabbed her within a second, flipped her off the step, threw her on the ground and twisted her hand behind her, immobilizing her. The police swarmed up and subdued her. Song Yan quickly let go of her, looking for Xu Qin. At the same time that he moved, Tong Ming and Xiao Ge rushed towards the man. Before the man could reach Xu Qin, he realized that his mother was being subdued, and he left the step, losing the advantage of being able to threaten jumping off the building. Only then did he realize that he had been tricked and hurried back. But his retreat was blocked, Xiao Ge and Tong Ming quickly detained him. The man roared and struggled, his legs kicked wildly, one leg kicking Tong Ming¡¯s supporting leg. Tong Ming took a big step back, his calf hit the step, and he lost control and fell backwards. In an instant, he turned over the step and fell downstairs. Xiao Ge screamed: ¡°Tong Ming!¡± Everything happened so fast, Xu Qin and the others had no time to react, they just watched the orange blur disappear and fall down the building. Everyone¡¯s face was pale and lost all blood. Song Yan had quick eyes and quick hands, and immediately rushed to grab the safety rope that was sliding rapidly along the ground. The fast-moving rope violently dragged Song Yan towards the step, and was about to pull him past the building. Xu Qin screamed in horror: ¡°Song Yan!¡± Xiao Ge rushed up to grab the rope, and stopped Song Yan¡¯s body that was about to be thrown out by inertia. The directors and doctors all rushed to pull the rope. The frenziedly moving safety rope was stretched by the group of men, and suddenly stopped moving. Song Yan and the others fell on the ground, sweating profusely, panting for breath. Xu Qin¡¯s heart was beating wildly, her legs were weak. The mother and son pair were paralyzed and unable to get up, and were subdued by the police and taken away. ¡°Tong Ming! Are you okay?¡± Song Yan shouted down. ¡°Waist hurts¡ª¡± Tong Ming cried out in pain. Several people pulled him up, and the person in charge of the hospital immediately stepped forward: ¡°Hurry up, go and check.¡± While the figures shuttled around, Xu Qin¡¯s eyes were fixed on Song Yan, her heart was still beating in panic just now, and she had not recovered. She saw blood from the rope burn on his hands, scratches on his neck, and bruises on his head from hitting the step. He was discussing with the police when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye and glanced in her direction. Looking at her, his eyes were deep but restrained. After a brief second, his gaze moved away. Xu Qin was also quickly called away by the director. Before walking into the stairwell, she glanced back. Song Yan was discussing business with the hospital manager and the police. This time, he didn¡¯t even have time to look at her. Xu Qin turned and left. When she went down the stairs, she realized that her legs were still soft, her back was covered in cold sweat, and the palms of her hands had already been scratched deeply by her nails. The director didn¡¯t praise Xu Qin, but he didn¡¯t scold her either, and only asked those present to keep it secret. After all, a doctor said ¡°go to hell¡± to the aggrieved. If this spread and someone with intent took it and made a big fuss, it would be hard to dispute. The colleagues all agreed to keep the secret, and privately thanked Xu Qin for helping them vent their anger. What was even more surprising to everyone was that she had never interacted with them, and didn¡¯t expect for her to help her colleagues out this time. Everyone asked her to add their contact information one after another, and they also said that they would call her for colleagues¡¯ gatherings in the future. Xu Qin responded calmly, and then left on the grounds that she had other work. When she went to the emergency room, she saw that the fire engine was still parked in the courtyard. The onlookers had dispersed, and several firefighters were collecting the air cushion. She didn¡¯t see Song Yan. A moment ago, the courtyard was full of people, but now it was cold and windy. When Xu Qin returned to the emergency room, for some reason, she felt a little depressed and tired. She didn¡¯t usually feel that way at work, but the confrontation really exhausted her. Or maybe, there were other reasons. But she didn¡¯t bother to delve into it. She worked until she got off work at midnight. Xu Qin took a taxi home and leaned on the back seat in a daze. The car stopped at the intersection of Wu Fang Street. Wu Fang Street was a pedestrian street with roadblocks. Xu Qin got out of the car, glanced at the deserted street with closed shops in the dark, and sighed softly. But in a blink of an eye, she saw uncle and aunt standing by the roadside. She was stunned, and walked over: ¡°Uncle? Aunt?¡± ¡°Qin Qin is off work?¡± Aunt smiled. ¡°Why are you here?¡± Xu Qin was a little puzzled. ¡°The alley is dark, we¡¯re not at ease with you walking alone.¡± Aunt said, ¡°Yan Yan is in the barracks, so your uncle and I are here to pick you up.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s heart suddenly felt warm, and she followed them home. Uncle walked aside holding aunt¡¯s hand, saying a few words from time to time, discussing the TV series he watched at night, Xu Qin listened silently, and looked back at the road she had just walked. On both sides of the road, shop doors are tightly closed, with strange graffiti painted on them, which was a bit spooky at night. The ancient streets were empty, dim and deep. It really was scary to walk alone. ¡°Time to turn the corner, what is this child looking at?¡± said aunt, and stretched out her hand to hold Xu Qin¡¯s hand. Xu Qin suddenly felt the warmth and roughness on her hand, ¡°Aiya, this child didn¡¯t wear enough clothes, her hand is cold.¡± Aunt put her hand in her pocket and led her through the narrow and dark alley at night. At the end of the road, the lights in the courtyard were warm. Xu Qin sat at the dining table and ate the glutinous rice balls in her bowl. Uncle and aunt accompanied her to eat late-night snacks together, and aunt said: ¡°Qin Qin, eat more, don¡¯t be afraid of getting fat. You are too thin, and you are tired from work. You have to eat more to be healthy, you know?¡± Xu Qin nodded. Aunt sighed again: ¡°Yan Yan is the same, he has no regular hours at work, over and over. He is also thin.¡± Hearing this, Xu Qin licked her lips silently, the sugar syrup on her lips lost its taste at this very moment. She thought about the moment when Tong Ming fell from upstairs, and the moment when Song Yan was dragged out by the rope. Even thinking about it at this moment, her heart suddenly tugged, ¡°En.¡± She put down the spoon and said, ¡°I think his job is too dangerous.¡± CH 50 In the courtyard, the main house was lit up. After Xu Qin finished saying that sentence, aunt echoed: ¡°Yes, his job is dangerous.¡± Uncle noticed something strange in her face and asked, ¡°What happened today?¡± ¡°I saw Song Yan today. Someone in the hospital was about to jump off the building, he went to save people, and he almost fell off the building,¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°21st floor.¡± Uncle and aunt were taken aback at the same time: ¡°What happened after?¡± ¡°He¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°What about the others? And the one who jumped off the building?¡± ¡°Everyone was fine.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good.¡± The two breathed a sigh of relief. ¡°I was scared.¡± Xu Qin lowered her eyes and gently stirred the small rice balls in the bowl, the small balls had been soaking for a long time, and the edges were hairy and blurred shapes, ¡°If he fell¡­¡± There was silence. ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid,¡± aunt touched her hand, ¡°he has a sense of proportion, he will protect himself and his subordinates.¡± About to guess something, she said again, ¡°Actually, uncle told him to transfer his post, but he can¡¯t let go of the soldiers under him. Their team is the most comprehensive and disciplined in this area, and there was no major casualties. It was all thanks to his training.¡± These words did not have the slightest comforting effect on Xu Qin, but she had nothing to say, and after a long while, she asked: ¡°Why did he choose this profession in the first place?¡± The couple looked at each other, and uncle said: ¡°You know that kid didn¡¯t like to study since he was a child, and he didn¡¯t obey discipline, so he was sent to the army. Afterward¡­¡­ There was no other way at home, so he became a firefighter.¡± Xu Qin lowered her head and stirred the spoon: ¡°Hmm.¡± Seeing this, aunt couldn¡¯t sit still, her mouth moved, and she looked at her husband eagerly; uncle glared fiercely, and it was considered to be pressed down. Aunt exhaled a deep breath from her nose, held it for a long time, and spoke: ¡°Qin Qin, my nephew looks rough, but he is actually very careful and loves others. He¡¯s different from the men out there now. Others want to play more while they are young. As for him, he was also abandoned when he was young, and he just wants to have a family, to dote on the family and be good to the family. He is such a person. I¡¯m not speaking selfishly to protect him, you know that?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°En.¡± Nothing else. What else can aunt say, uncle said: ¡°Qin Qin is also tired, go rest early after eating.¡± Xu Qin went back to the room. Aunt took the bowl and sighed: ¡°Does this child have something on her mind?¡± ¡°They will take care of their own affairs, so don¡¯t worry about it.¡± ¡°How can I not worry, I won¡¯t end up like Yan Yan¡¯s mother.¡± ¡°The more you talk, it¡¯ll never end. All right, go to bed early.¡± ¡­¡­ The lights went out. There was no moon tonight, the wooden windows were dark, and not a shadow of the trees to be seen. Xu Qin lay on the bed, picked up her mobile phone and looked, one missed call, four text messages, all Song Yan. The call came at 4:40 p.m., after rescuing the jumper. The first two messages followed: ¡°Where are you?¡± ¡°Getting to work?¡± The third message was five minutes apart: ¡°I¡¯m leaving. Don¡¯t worry about me. Will pay attention to safety.¡± The fourth message at eleven o¡¯clock at night: ¡°Don¡¯t go alone when you get home from work, uncle will pick you up. If you don¡¯t see him, call him.¡± In the darkness, Xu Qin stared at those messages for a long time, until her eyes were sore. She raised her arms and covered her eyes. After a long time, she didn¡¯t reply to him. Gradually, she fell asleep. Xu Qin forgot to set the alarm clock, and the next day she woke up unexpectedly late, woke up only a quarter of an hour before start of work. She took out her mobile phone to call a taxi, found that there was traffic jam, and it took half an hour to get to the train. There was a long queue in front of the train ticket machine, she waited, finally reached her turn, and followed the prompts to choose the line and arrival station. But the machine didn¡¯t issue a ticket. She was looking up and down hastily, when the people behind her got impatient and shouted: ¡°Press ¡®OK¡¯. What are you doing standing there?¡± Xu Qin found that there was an OK button at the bottom of the screen, and pressed it before the ticket was issued. It was rush hour for work, and the subway station was full of people, a thronging crowd. When passing through the gate, she deliberately remembered that Song Yan said not to cross the yellow line. Inside the station, the passengers were in a hurry, and when they looked up, they were all heads. At the platform, every door was crowded with office workers, all looking expressionlessly at the screen door or looking at their phones. Xu Qin stood up, and behind her, a steady stream of passengers gathered closely. The subway came into the station, and as soon as the doors opened, crowds of people poured out, and more people from outside of the train poured back in. The two groups of people mixed together like a mudslide. The force from the outside to the inside was even more powerful, and the people who had just been squeezed out were clamped back in. Xu Qin was pushed and shoved by the crowd behind her, completely lost her ability to control herself, and rolled towards the car door like a leaf falling into the whirlpool. The people in front couldn¡¯t get in, and the people behind pushed her forward. Her chest and back were pressed against them, and they were about to crush her. She just got pushed to the door but couldn¡¯t get in. The subway doors make a dripping sound and red lights flash. But one of her arms was squeezed by the two bodies in front of her, and she couldn¡¯t move. ¡°My hand!¡± The car door began to close, Xu Qin pulled hard, screaming: ¡°Let go!¡± The two turned their backs to her, not caring in the slightest. Seeing this, a man in the car quickly grabbed her arm, pulled it violently, and pushed it! Doors closed! Xu Qin¡¯s hand was pulled out suddenly, and she fell to the ground all at once. When her wrist twisted on the ground, a sharp pain exploded. She broke out in a cold sweat from the pain, and opened her mouth, but couldn¡¯t make a sound. Under severe pain, one would instinctively maintain the posture of falling, not daring to move, and did not recover from the pain for ten seconds. Good thing it was the left hand! She gritted her teeth and thought. There was already a fine layer of sweat between her eyebrows. A boy next to her picked her up: ¡°Are you okay?¡± She shook her head and stood up slowly, holding her left wrist with her right hand and putting it on her chest to protect it. She didn¡¯t dare to move her wrist rashly any more, it was excruciatingly painful. The next car came, and she was swept up and out of the car by the crowd. When she arrived at the hospital, she was a mess, her clothes and hair were loose and crumbling. She tried to move her wrist slowly, and the pain passed, leaving only soreness. She finally breathed a sigh of relief. Fortunately, there was no sprain. She simply brushed her teeth and washed her face, returned to the office, and listened to Xiao Nan worrying: ¡°What kind of job should I find for him, he can¡¯t just be a security guard surely?¡± Xiao Xi was surprised: ¡°Your boyfriend is changing jobs?¡± ¡°Sooner or later he has to change, he can¡¯t do it for a lifetime. Scared half of my life yesterday, I almost became a widow.¡± Xiao Nan still had lingering fears when talking about Tong Ming¡¯s fall from the building, ¡°Fortunately, he will be discharged from the army soon.¡± Xiao Dong: ¡°Do you really plan to marry him?¡± ¡°Yep. Now I¡¯m worried about his job, and I don¡¯t know what suits him. I had to ask my dad for connections to see if he could look after a company¡¯s fire safety. Ai1, connections are also hard to find. Headache.¡± Xu Qin walked aside, took out her mobile phone and flipped out the text message sent by Song Yan yesterday, read a few words back and forth for a while, and replied: ¡°Got it.¡± There was no reply. At this time, Song Yan should be training. Xu Qin didn¡¯t wait specifically, the two were busy with work, and they had long been accustomed to such a way of communication. She put her phone back in her pocket, her wrist aching. This soreness continued like a shadow, disturbing her heart when she was idle. She couldn¡¯t tell if it was because of the slightest pain in her hand or something else. Once, when she came out of the burn department of the outpatient department, she entered the elevator, went downstairs, and walked out of the outpatient building. She didn¡¯t know what she was thinking, but was bumped several times by the rushing patients before she regained her senses. She found herself standing in the hospital compound. Looking up, the sky in January was cloudy and gloomy. In winter, the city withered away. As far as the eye could see, it was desolate and gray everywhere. She sighed very slowly, and when she walked into the emergency room, all irrelevant thoughts were left behind. This was her job, and once she was engaged in it, she could not carry any emotions, only pay wholehearted attention. But her mood inevitably went all the way down. She didn¡¯t know if it was too much pressure, she had a nightmare that night, dreaming that a large area was on fire, as if the whole world was on fire. Countless firefighters were carried out, bruised. And Song Yan still rushed inside, she wanted to stop it but couldn¡¯t stop it. She saw Song Yan¡¯s back disappear into a huge burning factory building, she immediately had a bad premonition, she wanted to call him, but there was a bang, and the factory building collapsed¡­ When Xu Qin woke up, it was dark all around, her chest and back were full of fine sweat, her heart beat violently, the bed was full of his smell, but her side was empty, and he was not there. She hurriedly took her mobile phone from the cabinet and dialed Song Yan¡¯s number. No one answered. He must have been on night duty, otherwise he wouldn¡¯t have missed the call. She thought about the dream just now, panicking in her heart, called the deputy captain, and learned that there was no fire alarm, but a drunken person stuck his head in the overpass in the middle of the night, and Song Yan¡¯s team went to the rescue. She was slightly relieved. She lay on the bed in the dark, in a daze. At this moment, she realized that after being with him, she was sinking into it little by little, unable to control it, and constantly sinking deeply. Couldn¡¯t get out anymore. She wanted to wait for him to return, wanted to hear his voice, wanted to talk to him, as if that would be the way to be at ease. But she didn¡¯t know when he would return, the night was so deep, waiting and waiting, she gradually fell asleep again. Until the next morning, at five to seven, the phone rang, it was Song Yan: ¡°Are you awake?¡± ¡°You know I get up at seven in the morning.¡± She was startled awake, and before she could adjust her breathing, she panted under the quilt, squinted her eyes and turned over again. Hearing the movement there, he smiled softly: ¡°So I came to chat with you for five minutes¡­.I finished work late yesterday, and I didn¡¯t want to disturb you because you were asleep¡­.Why did you call me at that time? Weren¡¯t you sleeping?¡± It was okay if he didn¡¯t mention it, but once he said it, all her misery from the past few days all came up from her chest. She opened her eyes slightly, calmed down, and spoke, ¡°I had a nightmare.¡± Song Yan paused for a second: ¡°What nightmare?¡± ¡°Explosion, you were dead.¡± There was silence for half a moment, and he smiled a little bitterly: ¡°Silly.¡± He said, ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡± Xu Qin covered her eyes with her arm and did not speak. Song Yan noticed the change in the atmosphere, and his voice lowered, asking, ¡°Why are you silent?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°Hm?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what to say.¡± Xu Qin mumbled. At this moment, Song Yan did not speak. Both sides were silent, perhaps because both sides were somewhat powerless. Song Yan said, ¡°On the roof that day, were you scared?¡± Xu Qin still covered her eyes and said nothing. ¡°Xu Qin?¡± ¡°Hmm?¡± ¡°Scared?¡± ¡°En.¡± Her voice was extremely low and she trembled a little. Song Yan¡¯s heart tugged hard. To be honest, he was scared that day too. Although he fully believed in Xiao Ge¡¯s reaction speed, at that moment, because she was behind him, he was frightened. Later, when he looked at her, she looked terrified, and even her lips were miserably pale. After the incident, the others quickly went their separate ways, as if the danger just now was not worth mentioning. Only she stood where she was, her eyes locked on him, and she probably didn¡¯t even know that her lips were trembling. At that moment, Song Yan suddenly realized that if he really fell, everyone on the rooftop and downstairs would continue to live their own lives. The next day, the sun would also rise as usual. Only she wouldn¡¯t. Of those people, only her life was tightly tied to him. He was afraid that she might jump with him. At that moment, how was he not afraid? On the other end of the phone, Song Yan lowered his head, rubbed the bridge of his nose hard, having alot of things to say, finally turned into a helpless sigh and said: ¡°I will pay attention, there will be no accident.¡± She still didn¡¯t say anything. He suddenly felt powerless and frustrated, and could imagine her curled up alone under the covers silent and depressed, but he couldn¡¯t even give the comfort of a hug. He couldn¡¯t bear it, raised his tone a little, and coaxed: ¡°You forgot, my injury hasn¡¯t healed yet, it¡¯s just an instructor¡¯s role, don¡¯t need to work hard, don¡¯t need to get into fires.¡± She moved slightly. The quilt rustled, he heard it, Continue to coax: ¡°I¡¯ll be back tonight to accompany you for the weekend.¡± You go to work with a peace of mind, and when you leave work, I¡¯ll be home.¡± She let out a sullen ¡°en¡± and slightly showed a hint of interest: ¡°Is it two days off?¡± ¡°En. Two days. ¡± ¡°That¡¯s pretty good.¡± She said softly, ¡°I changed my shift earlier with my colleague, and I just happen to have the weekend free.¡± Speaking of this, she smiled lightly, perhaps with a hint of smug sweetness in her heart. Song Yan finally smiled slightly and said, ¡°Go to work early, don¡¯t be stuck in traffic on the road and be late.¡± He also advised, ¡°Take a taxi in, don¡¯t squeeze on the subway. There are many people at peak time, you can¡¯t bear it.¡± Xu Qin was stunned, she didn¡¯t mention the experience from last time, and nodded: ¡°Okay, I know.¡± At the end, she turned over again and whispered, ¡°Song Yan.¡± ¡°Hmm?¡± ¡°I miss you.¡± She said softly. Song Yan¡¯s heart softened, his breathing slowed down, and said, ¡°I miss you too, very much.¡± ¡­¡­ The phone call this morning was like a small antidote, which rescued Xu Qin a little from the sluggish state of the past few days. She didn¡¯t live as miserable as usual. Today, there were a few major events in the emergency room, and she still had time to discuss research topics with Professor Xu Ken at noon. When she left work at six o¡¯clock, she received a text message from Song Yan, saying that he was on duty to rescue a child stuck in a revolving door, he would be delayed for a while and get home later. Xu Qin said okay. Anyway, she had transferred her shift, and had to continue her evening shift. But an hour later, as she was flipping through her papers, there were hurried footsteps outside. ¡°Doctor!¡± Several scruffy men covered in soot rushed in, ¡°Help!¡± Uniform army-green vests and fire-uniform pants, each tall and sturdy, just like when they came in that night. Only this time, Song Yan was not wearing a mask, his face was covered with black ash and bloodshot, and there was a burn on his shoulder. When the two looked at each other, they were stunned. Xu Qin understood, and her face became cold in an instant. Song Yan¡¯s expression was also a little at a loss. He didn¡¯t expect that she was still at work, and he didn¡¯t expect to be exposed the first time he lied, he didn¡¯t expect to promise nothing will happen in the morning and to get injured in the evening. Yang Chi was quite happy to see Xu Qin: ¡°Doctor, our captain is injured¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°You all go out first.¡± Xu Qin said. ¡°This injury is-¡° ¡°Get out.¡± Xu Qin put on a mask. Everyone was taken aback, eh? Aren¡¯t they already familiar with each other? Why did Dr. Xu turn back to the original indifferent doctor? Looking at Song Yan again, a certain captain sat aside with his head slightly lowered, not saying a word. The slightest bit of the captain¡¯s posture was gone. Everyone noticed that something was wrong, exchanged glances, and immediately slipped out. The interior was suddenly quiet. Song Yan raised his eyes and glanced at Xu Qin. She was wearing a mask, he couldn¡¯t see her expression, her eyes on the mask were unusually flat and indifferent, she washed her hands over and over again, very hard. She said: ¡°You forgot, my injury hasn¡¯t healed yet, it¡¯s just an instructor¡¯s role, don¡¯t need to work hard, don¡¯t need to get into fires.¡± She also said: ¡°Saving a child stuck in a revolving door, delayed for a while, will get home later.¡± Song Yan¡¯s scalp felt numb all of a sudden, and he knew something was wrong, so he wanted to get up: ¡°Xu Qin¡ª¡± ¡°You sit down for me.¡± Song Yan stopped moving. ¡°And he said,¡± she took a breath and put on her gloves, ¡°he will pay attention, nothing will happen.¡± She threw medicine and tools on the shelf, and threw tweezers and scissors onto the plate, ping pong. Calmly venting her anger. Song Yan sat behind her, looking at her thin body under the white coat, and saw that she was so angry that even the hem of the gown was shaking; He frowned deeply and lowered his voice: ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Her back froze for a moment. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Xu Qin, I didn¡¯t want you to worry.¡± His tone was dry and hoarse, with a hint of weariness. Her back trembled, she shook her head, lowered her head, and squeezed the table with her thin fingers: ¡°It¡¯s not this. I¡¯m not asking you to say I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ I don¡¯t want you to be sorry for me.¡± She said, ¡°Don¡¯t be sorry for me.¡± Both were silent. The room was quiet, and the air was almost stagnant. ¡°Song Yan,¡± she turned her back to him, without looking back, she asked softly, ¡°Have you ever thought about¡­ changing jobs?¡± Song Yan¡¯s eyebrows were still frowning, there was no slightest change of emotion on his face, he was about to say something. She suddenly turned around and interrupted: ¡°Let¡¯s talk about it when we are home, it¡¯s working time.¡± He knew that she was scared, conflicted and evasive. Afraid that he would refuse, she fled away because of the contradiction. He inadvertently pursed his lips. She pulled the mobile cart behind him, skillfully picked up the scissors to cut off his clothes, was just about to clean his wounds, but saw that he was covered with injuries everywhere. New and old. One by one, as if the injured person would not hurt. The hand holding the tweezers trembled slightly, and her eyes turned red. She was not noble and great at all, she did not know deep righteousness at all, she was a selfish person, she only knew that this was the person she loved, why should he have to bear all of this? Why? Lips trembled gently, And the next moment, she saw the longest scar on his body, on his back, In October, when she was rescued from the car accident, he pushed her away, scratched himself, and now the scar was permanently on his back, showing the pain fiercely and silently. For a moment, she was completely silent. But Song Yan knew what she was looking at and what she was thinking without raising her head. He also wanted to say something, but at this moment, he didn¡¯t want to do anything. He suddenly lowered his head and fell towards her. He bumped into her lightly, hugged her waist, and buried his head on her chest. He closed his eyes, as if he had fallen asleep from exhaustion. In his arms, Dr. Xu¡¯s waist was very thin and soft; On Dr. Xu¡¯s white coat, there was a faint smell of disinfectant. 1 °¥ ¨¡i ¨C interjection used to attract attention or to express surprise or disapprobation CH 51 The night was deep. The office building across the road was pitch black, with only a light on one of the middle floors, like a string of shining bracelets. Xu Qin stood on the balcony side of the hospital, hiding in the shadows, with a cigarette burning in her hand. Song Yan left. After cleaning up his injuries, he had to go back to the team to change clothes and do the finishing touches. Xu Qin stood in the cold wind of the winter night and glanced at her hand, she had just held his head and touched his hair. The fingertips were stained with soot, dust, blood. She knew how tired he was, she was also tired. He didn¡¯t say much when he left, telling her to go back to work and they would talk when she got home. But as for her, even though she was completely chilled by the cold wind at this moment, her mind was still chaotic, and she couldn¡¯t make up her mind. She wished to never get off work today. Just as she was thinking, she heard the sound of an ambulance in the distance. At the end of the night, the red police lights flashed dazzlingly. She let out a long breath, put out the cigarette, and went back indoors to wash her hands carefully. This time, they were washed four times. ¡­¡­ When Song Yan returned home, Xu Qin had not yet returned. The wooden windows of the west wing were dark, and the main house was lit up. His aunt knew he was back and put together a table of food. Song Yan didn¡¯t rest well these days, and he was busy all day today. He ate only two steamed buns, tired and hungry, he sat down to eat, without even saying hello. When his aunt saw his silent appearance, her heart clicked. No matter how difficult it was at work, he would not look like this. While taking chopsticks to fill Song Yan¡¯s bowl, she asked in a low voice: ¡°Today¡­ saw Qin Qin?¡± Song Yan¡¯s chopsticks paused and continued to eat: ¡°En.¡± Aunt immediately scanned him up and down: ¡°Hurt? Where does it hurt?¡± As she spoke, she wanted him to show her. Song Yan frowned slightly and pulled her hand away: ¡°Small injury.¡± Seeing his expression, aunt knew that he was uncomfortable, and asked, ¡°Qin Qin was distressed, right?¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t speak. He didn¡¯t say a word, his aunt was inevitably worried, and tentatively said: ¡°Didn¡¯t break up, right?¡± Song Yan was stunned, with rice in his mouth, and shook his head. Aunt breathed a sigh of relief, and secretly scolded herself for talking too much. If they really broke up, he couldn¡¯t sit here properly. ¡°As long as you¡¯re fine.¡± Aunt said, ¡°Why do you look very worried? Tell me and your uncle, see if I can give you some advice.¡± Song Yan was silent for a second, shook his head slightly, and said, ¡°I feel that I am quite useless.¡± I can¡¯t even protect her peace of mind. She¡¯s a person who likes to think about things, is used to being silent, her heart panicked and depressed to death, she has to wait until the limit is approaching and she can¡¯t bear it before she explodes a little. He wasn¡¯t with her these days, and he didn¡¯t know how she lived alone. Had a nightmare that night and hurriedly called him. And later? Got used to it, just endured it herself. Song Yan lowered his head slightly, held his eyebrows with his hand, and pinched the bridge of his nose hard. He was really tired and didn¡¯t want to say anything. He didn¡¯t say much. Aunt spoke: ¡°Yan, I know that you like her, so I can¡¯t persuade you, your uncle and I won¡¯t say much. There are just things that I have to remind you. It¡¯s not that I¡¯m being talkative, Qin Qin is nice, I can see she really likes you. But I¡¯m afraid when times go on, you guys are not suitable for each other.¡± ¡°Think about it. Back then, your mother had a good life, but she ran away when she was coaxed by the rich and powerful. Even if she ended up in that kind of situation, she would not come back to live the life of an ordinary person. What¡¯s more, not to mention that Qin Qin was from young¡­¡± ¡°Xu Qin is different from her.¡± Song Yan¡¯s voice was not loud, ¡°Don¡¯t mention that person again.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± Aunt had to say something, but was held back by uncle. Song Yan put down his chopsticks and said, ¡°She¡¯s leaving work, I¡¯ll go pick her up.¡± ¡°It¡¯s still early, you haven¡¯t eaten a few bites of your food-¡° Song Yan had already gotten up, he picked up the coat on the chair, and went out. The two elders sat in the room without moving, until they heard the footsteps getting farther and farther away, the door opened and closed, uncle said: ¡°How many times have I told you, don¡¯t bring up that person in front of the child.¡± ¡°The child is grown¡­..¡± ¡°Even if you¡¯re old, the wounds are still there. Did you see how he looked? ¡­¡­ Besides, how do you compare Qin Qin with her? Do you think they don¡¯t have enough trouble?¡± ¡°Oops, I was wrong. I¡¯m also worried, what can I do?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t mention it later, we¡¯ll see what they say when they come back.¡± ¡­¡­ Xu Qin left work on time. Late at night, there were very few vehicles on the road. The taxi drove less than ten minutes to Wu Fang Street. The path was empty. The street lamps were dim, shining on the bare branches on both sides. Winter in the north seemed to be endlessly long. Before the car stopped, Xu Qin saw Song Yan standing by the side of the road, smoking a cigarette, waiting for her. He exhaled a puff of smoke, his gaze fixed on the car. She got out of the car, he extinguished the cigarette and threw it in the trash. She put her hands in her pockets and walked past him. He followed, taking her hand; She gently broke away. He walked aside and continued to take her hand, which she gently broke away again. She still walked forward, and he added a little strength, took her by the arm and took her into his arms, the whole person held her firmly from behind. She was about to break free again, he bound tighter, resting his chin on her shoulder, and whispered: ¡°Wifey, let me hold you for a while.¡± Xu Qin suddenly softened, and couldn¡¯t moved. When he was young, he pretended to be mature, and always called her wifey; As an adult, this was the first time. Wu Fang Street was empty, and as far as the eye could see, wooden houses and stone alleys, red tile low walls. The glitz and bustle of the day had long dissipated, leaving the midnight silence. There was silence all around, as if the whole city had fallen asleep. Only the two of them hugged each other, on this street late at night. Xu Qin turned around and hugged his waist. She leaned against his chest, closed her eyes, her cheeks felt the temperature and heartbeat from his chest, and smelled the clean soap on his body. In this small world in his arms, there was still the peace she knew best. Hugging each other and said nothing. He lowered his head and kissed her cold little face, hugged her tightly, hugged her for a long time, reluctant to let go, until he noticed that she was trembling slightly, then took her hand, rubbed it, and said, ¡°Find a place to sit for a while, and get you something to eat.¡± She looked up: ¡°Auntie made a late-night snack, right?¡± ¡°Not with them.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°Just the two of us.¡± ¡­¡­ Wu Fang Street was not completely asleep. Deep in the alley, after many twists and turns, you could always find small shops that were still open. Song Yan led Xu Qin into a seafood restaurant and ordered a few dishes according to her preference. Small shops were generally plainly decorated but clean. Although it was late at night, there were still several tables of customers in the store, the tables were full of all kinds of seafood, they all spoke in a low voice and did not disturb others. The two chose the most remote seats. Xu Qin took off her down jacket, the tip of her nose was frozen red, and said to the waiter: ¡°Let¡¯s have a bottle of wine.¡± Song Yan looked at her: ¡°Want to drink?¡± Xu Qin nodded. Song Yan asked the waiter to bring the wine, he poured it, and handed her a glass. Xu Qin took it, lifted it and poured a large mouthful. Song Yan was stunned, she didn¡¯t stop, her cup half-emptied. Song Yan looked at her, didn¡¯t say anything, and then saw that there was a wotou1 on the table next to theirs, and asked the waiter to bring a plate immediately to pad her stomach. wo tou ÎÑÍ· ¨C Chinese cornbread ¡°You can talk after drinking?¡± Song Yan teased very lightly. ¡°Well, I want to drink.¡± Xu Qin said, holding her face with her hand, ¡°Anyway, with you, I am not afraid.¡± He smiled lightly and said, ¡°You can¡¯t drink like this with others, you know?¡± ¡°I know.¡± She nodded and said, ¡°Just drink with you.¡± The waiter brought the plate of wotou, and Song Yan gave her one: ¡°Hurry up and eat something.¡± Just now, she just downed half a glass of white wine, and her face had already begun to redden. Xu Qin grabbed the wotou and took a small bite. Steamed prawns were then served. Song Yan picked one up, removed the shrimp head, peeled the shell, and put it on her plate: ¡°Eat while it¡¯s hot.¡± She took the chopsticks and put them in her mouth, the shrimp was very fresh, and sweet. She waited for him to peel the shrimp, and tried a little: ¡°Do you like your current job very much? Because, it¡¯s noble?¡± The corners of his lips curled, but he said: ¡°To be honest, if I say how much I love and how much I want to dedicate, there is no such thing. Sometimes I feel quite tired¡­.It¡¯s just one thing. Now that I have done it, I have to put it into practice. Do a good job. If I have the responsibility, I should take it seriously.¡± Finally, added a sentence, ¡°Until the day I leave my post.¡± Xu Qin listened, still in a trance, the shrimp meat in his hand had been handed to her mouth, she obediently opened her mouth to bite, slowly finished eating, wanted to ask something, the waiter brought the scallops out. Song Yan placed two into her bowl. She ate slowly, and then asked, ¡°What are uncle and auntie doing?¡± He glanced at his watch and said, ¡°They should be sleeping.¡± Put the peeled shrimp on her bowl. ¡°That night, your uncle and aunt went to pick me up.¡± ¡°I know.¡± ¡°You told them, you definitely knew. You don¡¯t know the other things though.¡± ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± He glanced up at her. ¡°Your aunt took my hand. She said my hands were too cold and wanted to help me cover them.¡± Song Yan smiled and handed the peeled shrimp to her mouth, she leaned over and ate it, her breath was already hot. She held her crooked head with her hand and said, ¡°Your family is very good to me.¡± Song Yan stopped, stopped the movement in his hand, and looked at her. He knew that she had something to say, he unconsciously wiped his hands with a tissue and waited. ¡°Song Yan, I said when I was a child, it was good to live in your house, do you remember?¡± ¡°I remember.¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t very sensible at the time, I just felt that way, and I said that. But now, I understand things, and I still think it¡¯s good to live with your family.¡± Xu Qin looked at him, the wine came up slowly, her face became more and more red, her speech became slower and slower, ¡°Uncle, auntie, and Zhai Miao, they are all very good. I also like them a lot, really like them. But¡­¡± ¡°They¡¯re nice to me, I like them, it¡¯s just¡­ Because of you.¡± She took a slight breath: ¡°If you are gone, they would have nothing to do with me. I¡¯ll still be alone. Do you understand?¡± Song Yan was silent. Her hand pressed to the edge of the table, clenched into a small fist, he reached over and held her trembling hand: ¡°Xu Qin¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°You listen to me first,¡± she interrupted softly, ¡°I¡¯m afraid I won¡¯t tell you if I don¡¯t say it now. In fact¡­¡­ I thought about it, and if something happens to you one day, I would steal morphine and syringes from the hospital.¡± Song Yan was stunned. She was calm, as if describing something very common, ¡°Or steal a scalpel and sleeping pills, here-¡° She flipped the hand he was holding and drew her fingers on her wrist. He watched, and his face changed slightly. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if you think I¡¯m worthless, or you think I¡¯m weak and useless, maybe you think I¡¯m threatening you, and you want to be angry. But that¡¯s what I thought when you almost fell down the building that day. If you really¡­¡± She seemed to imagine the scene, then shook her head quickly, ¡°It hurts too much. I can¡¯t bear it. I can¡¯t go through it either.¡± That oppressive and dark life, she never wanted to go back. Having tasted warmth and happiness, she could never go back. How did Song Yan feel after listening to her words. He was sitting in the warm room, as if he was standing in the ice and snow, and he was so scared that even the soles of his feet felt cold. But there was another fire burning in his heart, and the flames danced in clusters. He didn¡¯t see it as a threat, but he loved her more, her weakness and fierceness. Song Yan took his glass of wine, drank it, and looked at Xu Qin, her eyes were moist and clear, greeting him, and she was also waiting. ¡°Xu Qin,¡± he said first, ¡°I may get promoted.¡± She was surprised, her eyes widened. He smiled bitterly: ¡°I didn¡¯t want to say it so early. The matter has not been finalized. I don¡¯t want to give you unrealistic hope. But since last year, I have been working hard. First, I have found that the injury rate has decreased over the years. It¡¯s linked to a full range of professional training, and most fires are preventable. Whether it is improving the training system, implementing fire inspections, or promoting fire prevention systems from the beginning, this is the job of the top.¡± Hope flashed on Xu Qin¡¯s face, and she nodded vigorously: ¡°En.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°Second, it¡¯s for you.¡± She froze and looked at him stunned. After a long time, she moved a bit, wanting to say something, but with this movement, her center of gravity tilted, the alcohol rushed to her head, her elbow knocked over the plate, and it hit the ground with a bang. She fell uncontrollably, Song Yan immediately got up and rushed to the opposite side to support her. She leaned on him, panting heavily, and slowly looked up at him. She seemed to be awake, but her whole body was weak and limp. The waiter was led over by the voice and took a look: ¡°Drank too much?¡± Xu Qin hugged Song Yan¡¯s waist and shook her head. Song Yan touched her head and said to the waiter, ¡°Pack it.¡± With Song Yan¡¯s arms around her waist, Xu Qin walked in the alley, her footsteps wobbled a bit, but she didn¡¯t stagger. ¡°Are you happy now?¡± He asked. ¡°Happy.¡± She said. He smiled a little. After entering the yard, his aunt came out of the house: ¡°Are you back?¡± Seeing Xu Qin hugging Song Yan and hanging on to his body, she sensed something was wrong and went down the steps: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yan handed her the packed food in his hand and said, ¡°It¡¯s okay. She drank too quickly, but not much, she will be fine after a while.¡± Xu Qin followed and nodded: ¡°En.¡± Song Yan took Xu Qin into the room, put her on the bed, took off her shoes and clothes. She wasn¡¯t too drunk, just didn¡¯t have the strength, and obediently cooperated with him. He brought hot water to wipe her face, wash her hands and feet, and she went limply along with him. He tidied himself up again, he had come back from a busy day, turned off the room light, turned on the desk lamp, and looked back. She lay on the bed and looked at him quietly, the blush on her cheeks lightening. He went to her side and touched her face, a little funny: ¡°Awake?¡± ¡°I wasn¡¯t drunk.¡± ¡°Did you pretend to have no strength and tricked me to serve you?¡± She smiled. ¡°I was thinking¡­ I¡¯ll take advantage of you while you¡¯re drunk.¡± He fiddled with the broken hair on her forehead and said slowly, his eyes fell from her forehead to her eyes. There was only one desk lamp turned on in the room, he was facing the light, his eyes were dark. They stared at each other. He touched her eyebrow with his fingers. She slowly blinked her eyes and said: ¡°You didn¡¯t finish talking just now.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°You said, it¡¯s also for me.¡± ¡°En.¡± He ran his fingers across the bridge of her nose, all the way down, and fell to her lips. ¡°Xu Qin, I think about the future life for the two of us.¡± ¡°Hmm?¡± A flash of longing flashed in her eyes. ¡°At that time, we would live in our house and have bought a car. I work regularly, nine to five, and I could have breakfast with you, drive you to work, and pick you up from work. We cook together, watch movies, go shopping, and plant flowers together. Raise small animals. Go on dates near Di City on weekends, and travel farther when you take annual leave. If you feel lazy and don¡¯t want to go out, just stay at home, lie in bed and bask in the sun, don¡¯t go anywhere. Just me and you.¡± Unconsciously, the corner of Xu Qin¡¯s lips gently pursed into a smile, her eyes were shining, looking at him, as if she saw such a happy scene. ¡°Want to live that life with me?¡± He asked. ¡°I want to.¡± She grinned and threw her arms around his neck. 1 ÎÑÍ· w¨­ t¨®u ¨C Chinese cornbread CH 52 Xu Qin slept peacefully all night, but was slowly woken up by the man beside her in the morning. Song Yan hugged her from behind, rubbing his palms on her body up and down. Xu Qin slightly opened her eyes. The curtains were drawn, the light was dim, and it was difficult to distinguish the scene outside. She turned around and lay down flat and asked softly, ¡°What time is it?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± he said in a dark voice, burying his head in her neck, rubbing harder and harder. She gasped and rolled over to face him again, accidentally touching there. She asked, ¡°How did you get it when you were in the barracks?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± He didn¡¯t react. ¡°You wake up every morning and then it¡­ wakes up too¡­¡± Song Yan let out a low laugh, leaned towards her cheek, closed his eyes and muttered: ¡°Don¡¯t care about it, it will soften on its own.¡± Xu Qin thought about it and asked rhetorically: ¡°Then why doesn¡¯t it go soft every morning when he is with me?¡± Song Yan slowly opened his eyes and asked, ¡°What did you say?¡± Xu Qin couldn¡¯t help but chuckle a little. He hugged her, moved his body, squeezed her head, and his sexy low voice sighed in her ear: ¡°Ahhh¡­ Wifey, I want you again¡­¡± Her ears were itchy, her neck was so itchy that her whole body went numb from his words so easily, and she couldn¡¯t help leaning closer to him. On a winter day, there were fireworks in the heart. ¡­¡­ On the floor under the curtains, a narrow gap reflected the sky light outside the window. After hanging out on the bed for an hour or two, he still hugged her, clung to her and refused to let go. It was already eleven o¡¯clock in the morning, but he had no intention of getting up, and whispered in her neck: ¡°Oh no, I don¡¯t want to get up.¡± ¡°I just want to hold you in bed all day.¡± She snickered in her heart, but her mouth was mean: ¡°You¡¯re a soldier, don¡¯t have the slightest bit of self-control.¡± ¡°Addicted to women, addicted to women, I kind of understand what this means.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°Fortunately, I don¡¯t have a palace, so it¡¯s much more comfortable to go to my wife than to go to court.¡± She listened to his words and couldn¡¯t help but push him: ¡°Indecent!¡± He buried himself in her chest and laughed muffledly. She let him too, she didn¡¯t think of it. On a lonely winter day, what to do so early, lying in his arms was much more comfortable. But after arguing with him for a while, she restrained herself, she had some scruples after all, and said in a low voice: ¡°Really, it¡¯s shameful not to get up again, uncle and aunt will say something.¡± He was stunned, and then laughed: ¡°Don¡¯t worry. If we get up late, they¡¯ll be happy instead.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t know why. She craned her neck and glanced, and through the gap in the curtain, she saw that the sky was bright outside. She didn¡¯t know what happened last night, naturally she didn¡¯t know how worried her uncle and aunt were. In the courtyard, inside the main house, by the wooden window, ¡°I don¡¯t know what happened to those two children? You said that Qin Qin drank yesterday, shouldn¡¯t it be a quarrel?¡± Uncle sat at the desk drawing furniture, put down his pen, and sighed. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Aunt sat opposite and took a ruler to measure the size, and said with a smile, ¡°I just took a look at the window, and they haven¡¯t gotten up yet.¡± The uncle was stunned and lowered his voice: ¡°Not up yet?¡± Aunt was beaming: ¡°No. The relationship between the two is very good¡­.Before they were unhappy, they probably didn¡¯t see each other, so they panicked.¡± Uncle was relieved and said, ¡°That Zhai Miao, don¡¯t know what she has been doing recently, she hasn¡¯t come home.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the final exam, so probably cramming. It¡¯s fine if she doesn¡¯t come back, so she doesn¡¯t disturb them.¡± When aunt said this, she whispered, ¡°I was thinking, when will they get their marriage certificate.¡± ¡°How long have they been together, how can it be so fast?¡± ¡°That¡¯s because I¡¯m anxious, and I want to hold my grandson.¡± Aunt laughed and looked at the drawings again, ¡°Tsk, this cabinet is really beautiful.¡± A smile appeared on uncle¡¯s face: ¡°It also needs to be said that the carpentry I do is better than those that are sold in any furniture store.¡± ¡°Of course, the carpenter skills of the Zhai family have been passed down for many years.¡± Aunt praised her husband proudly, and said, ¡°Qin Qin will definitely like it. Tsk, our Yan Yan is really¡­ Putting everything into it.¡± As she spoke, Xu Qin¡¯s exclamation came from outside the window: ¡°It¡¯s snowing?!¡± The two immediately went to the window to look outside, Xu Qin stood in the corridor looking at the sky with a happy face, and Song Yan stood behind her, pulling her hair out of her neckline. The two looked at each other and were very satisfied: Oh, the two children got up and were in a good mood. Xu Qin crossed the threshold and walked out of the room, and saw that the courtyard was covered with a white layer of snow. The steps, corridors, railings, and vines on the trees were all silver, and the roofs were white. Looking up, the sky was clear and blue in all directions. The air was so cold that she took a breath and poured it into her lungs, as if carrying the fragrance of snowflakes. The snow color was reflected in Xu Qin¡¯s eyes, transparent and translucent. She squatted down, grabbed a handful of snow on the steps, turned back to Song Yan and said, ¡°Sure enough, this place is even more beautiful.¡± ¡°The snow is not too heavy today,¡± Song Yan said, ¡°and in two or three weeks, it will fall even thicker.¡± Xu Qin rolled her eyes, twisted the snow in her hand into a small ball, stood up, and he was still talking: ¡°When the time comes, I¡¯ll build a snowman for you to play with.¡± Before the words finished, Xu Qin turned around suddenly, and Song Yan quickly grabbed her wrist one second earlier. She froze suddenly, and he smiled, ¡°You squat on the ground, and I can see what your plan is just by looking at the back of your head.¡± While speaking, the other hand grabbed the snow ball in her palm and stuffed it into her neck. Xu Qin was so stimulated that she jumped up and down, she snatched half of the snowball from his hand. Then she grabbed his trouser waistband with one hand, and burrowed into his trousers with the other. ¡°Fuck!¡± Song Yan felt refreshed all over, and immediately rushed into the bathroom to shake his pants. Xu Qin followed and ran to the door to see the results of the battle, and giggled when she saw how embarrassed he was. Song Yan gritted her teeth and loosened his belt, shaking off the snow in his trousers. Seeing Xu Qin laughing at the door so hard that she couldn¡¯t stand up straight, he went up and pulled her in, and locked the door. Xu Qin exclaimed, as he had lifted her up and threw her on the sink. ¡°You want to die, don¡¯t you? You want to die? Huh?¡± He ripped open her underwear like a doll. Xu Qin was protecting her pants and blocking his hand, but the disparity in strength was huge. She had no ability to resist, but she was still not convinced, and raised her chin: ¡°I want to die, what are you going to do about it?¡± ¡°Heh.¡± He raised his eyebrows and nodded, ¡°Got guts! Don¡¯t beg me today.¡± With a smile on her face and anxiety, she struggled wildly and was about to slip off the sink, but he hooked her waist and hugged her back, and slapped her buttocks: ¡°Where are you going?¡± A ¡°pop¡± of her butt bloomed. She blushed suddenly and shouted in a low voice, ¡°Hush your voice! There are people outside!¡± ¡°Ashamed?¡± He was amused, and poked her cheek, ¡°Weren¡¯t you just unruly? Huh?¡± She was no match for his strength, so she couldn¡¯t break free anyway. He picked her chin for a while, she opened his hand, he hooked her waist again, she opened it again, and he touched her legs again. Teasing up and down like this, she ignored the other and grabbed back and forth to block it. He teased her like a cat. She couldn¡¯t run away, couldn¡¯t beat him, and she didn¡¯t know whether he was teasing her or for real. She slapped his hand, crackling, and didn¡¯t know what the outsiders thought when they heard it. She was also a little anxious, kicked him lightly, and finally twisted her body to beg for mercy: ¡°Don¡¯t do it, if you do it again, uncle and aunt will have a psychological trauma with this bathroom.¡± Song Yan was stunned, took her into his arms, hugged her tightly, and laughed loudly. Xu Qin was wrapped in his arms, her body trembled with his laughter, and she couldn¡¯t help it, the smile at the corner of her mouth became bigger and bigger. It seemed to be for no reason, as if there was nothing, but she was so happy. In the afternoon, the snow on the rooftops and treetops began to melt a bit. The snow dripped and fell to the ground. Song Yan stayed in his uncle¡¯s study for a while and chose several wooden floor materials. After walking back to the room, he opened the door and looked in, but he didn¡¯t see Xu Qin. He heard the sound of water at the end of the corridor, and when he looked over, Xu Qin was squatting by the open-air faucet washing rags. Song Yan immediately rushed over, picked her up, grabbed the rag with one hand, and asked, ¡°What are you doing?¡± Xu Qin was taken aback by him: ¡°I¡¯m free, I want to wipe the table.¡± ¡°How cold this water is.¡± Song Yan frowned and shook her cold hand, ¡°Go back.¡± She was blasted back into the house by him. He changed the bucket to warm water and wiped the table with a rag, and she was going to help. He stopped and said, ¡°Go do your laundry.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± Xu Qin threw the change of clothes in the basket into the washing machine, poured the laundry detergent, pressed the button, and the work was completed. No technical content. And after he wiped the table, he mopped the floor with a mop. Xu Qin hugged herself and sat on the sofa, turned her head and saw that the quilt on the bed was folded at some point, neatly stacked into tofu blocks, and her clothes and shoes were all packed. She tilted her head to look at him mopping the floor, looked at him for a while, and said softly: ¡°Song Yan.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°You spoil me too much,¡± she said with a smile. He couldn¡¯t help but laughed a little and asked casually: ¡°Are you happy then?¡± She pursed her mouth and didn¡¯t make a sound, but her smile expanded. Song Yan said: ¡°I used to do all kinds of work in the army, and I got used to it.¡± ¡°Oh.¡± She nodded, her feet cocking. He added: ¡°You haven¡¯t done this since you were a child. If you¡¯re with me, and you still have to do this, so why be with me?¡± Xu Qin poked her heart suddenly, and instantly remembered her childhood. At that time, she was squatting in the yard and shaving wood flowers. He said: ¡°I promise, I will wholeheartedly cherish you in this life.¡± It turned out that what he said was true. At that time, what he said was true. ¡­¡­ In the afternoon, Xu Qin followed uncle to learn carpentry in the yard, and Song Yan played with her for a while, then went back to his room to read. Halfway through, the sky began to fall with snow and the carpentry class ended. Xu Qin calculated that there was still a long time in the afternoon and wanted to go back to the west side to see her parents. Song Yan wanted to accompany her. Xu Qin disagreed at first, she knew that Fu Wenying would never allow Song Yan to enter the door. But Song Yan didn¡¯t want to intensify the conflict, and he didn¡¯t want to see Fu Wenying. He waited outside. He just wanted to send her and pick her up. He didn¡¯t want her to ride back and forth in the car alone. On the way there, Xu Qin leaned in Song Yan¡¯s arms and looked at the snowflakes outside the window, feeling very peaceful and clear: he knew that no matter whether she went home or left home, there would be some depression along the way. He was reluctant, so he wanted to accompany her. Maybe with him by her side, the road was not so long, as if it was faster than usual. When they arrived at the gate of the compound, Song Yan didn¡¯t go in, but said he would walk around the museum across the street and to call him when she was done. The two separated briefly. When Xu Qin walked into the courtyard, she was inexplicably a little sad, as if she had abandoned him. After walking a few steps and looking back, she saw that Song Yan walked towards the museum, and she was slightly relieved. The compound was also covered with snow, but the roads were swept and wet. When she got home, entered the house, and asked the maid, she said that Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were both at home, in the study on the second floor. Xu Qin changed her shoes unhurriedly, no matter how calm she was, her heart was still a little apprehensive. For some reason, when entering this house, people seem to be two or three points shorter. The hallway was particularly quiet, with slippers stepping on the carpet and footsteps absorbed. She breathed slightly and walked to the door of the study. The door was open, thankfully. Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were reading books inside, and there were refreshments on the table. She knocked on the door and whispered: ¡°Dad, mom¡­¡± When the two looked over, Fu Wenying¡¯s expression suddenly turned cold, and she lowered her head and continued to read, ignoring her; Meng Huaijin looked at Xu Qin for a while, frowned and sighed deeply, shook his head, looked very distressed, but did not speak. Xu Qin neither advanced nor retreat. She stood at the door at a loss for what to do, and actually stood there for five minutes. The house was still silent. They ignored her, didn¡¯t look at her. Xu Qin kept looking at them, her face turning white. At the end of the corridor, Meng Yanchen came down from upstairs, and when he turned back inadvertently, he saw Xu Qin standing at the door of the study with her shoulders bowed and her head lowered. Meng Yanchen looked at her silently for a few seconds and went downstairs. But only two or three steps down, he stopped again. He closed his eyes, pursed his lips, exhaled a long breath, and turned to Xu Qin. CH 53 Meng Yanchen walked to Xu Qin¡¯s side and asked, ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Xu Qin raised her head sharply, her face not knowing whether it was surprise or relief. Meng Yanchen did not have a superfluous expression and asked, ¡°When did you come back?¡± ¡°Just now.¡± ¡°I told Xiao Yixiao to play basketball, let¡¯s go.¡± Xu Qin took a look at her parents in the study. Meng Yanchen: ¡°Go, he still wants to see you.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­Oh.¡± In the study, Fu Wenying said lightly: ¡°Yanchen, it¡¯s time for dinner later.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll play for a while and come back.¡± Meng Yanchen was just about to turn around, but stopped again and said, ¡°I have a few friends who will come in the evening.¡± Again looked at Xu Qin, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Xu Qin looked into the study again: ¡°Mom, I¡¯ll go out to play first.¡± Mom and Dad didn¡¯t look at her and didn¡¯t care. With Meng Yanchen present, she pursed her mouth with some embarrassment. Meng Yanchen¡¯s face changed, and without saying a word, he pulled her wrist and dragged her into the corridor. When he arrived at the stairwell, Xu Qin broke his hand away. His palm moved, as if his body instinctively lingered for something, but he didn¡¯t speak, didn¡¯t look at her, and went down the stairs in silence. Xu Qin followed behind him silently. Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t speak all the way, went out, and then asked, ¡°Moved to his house?¡± Xu Qin whispered: ¡°En.¡± Meng Yanchen squinted and glanced at the dark sky, but did not answer. Until he left the yard, he asked, ¡°Is his family good to you?¡± Xu Qin nodded: ¡°Good.¡± He was silent for a while and said, ¡°They didn¡¯t bully you, did they?¡± Xu Qin immediately shook her head, and for some reason at this time, she couldn¡¯t speak. It seemed that Mom and Dad should have asked these words, but they didn¡¯t ask or talk to her. The two stood under the dead tree at the door waiting for Xiao Yixiao. Meng Yanchen said flatly: ¡°If he, or anyone else, bullies you, tell me. If you really don¡¯t want to tell me, then you tell Yixiao. Okay?¡± She only nodded. He didn¡¯t talk anymore, he was quiet person himself. But they didn¡¯t know what Xiao Yixiao was dawdling about, and he didn¡¯t come out yet. He stood with her under the dead trees on a snowy day, saying little, only the mist from his breath flying together. He stared at the mist flying in the wind for a moment, then suddenly turned his head to look at her. She was taken aback, not knowing why. Meng Yanchen smiled extremely lightly and asked, ¡°You only smile at him, right?¡± Xu Qin was suddenly speechless. ¡°You would have smiled at me when you were a kid.¡± He looked up at the sky and said, ¡°Over the years, you¡­ Oh, he really got it right.¡± She was puzzled and was about to ask a question, when the sound of a basketball hitting the floor came from the courtyard next to her. Xiao Yixiao came, and when he saw Xu Qin, he almost asked the question Meng Yanchen had asked again, and finally said, ¡°As long as you¡¯re happy. I thought from a young age that sooner or later you would go with that kid surnamed Song.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Must be an afterthought.¡± ¡°Really.¡± Xiao Yixiao pointed to Meng Yanchen, ¡°I told him before, he didn¡¯t believe it.¡± Xu Qin was strange: ¡°Why do you think so?¡± ¡°Feeling¡­¡­. However, I thought you would marry first and then cheat with that kid.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡± ¡°But after you got drunk that day,¡± Xiao Yixiao shrugged, ¡°I feel like you won¡¯t be able to marry anyone¡­. Unless you marry me.¡± ¡°Why?¡± He was not without regret: ¡°Qin Qin, I still want to marry you, I don¡¯t mind if you cheat with him, anyway, there are many girls around me.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Why don¡¯t you die?¡± Xiao Yixiao laughed and pinched her face. To the basketball court, Zhan Xiaorao and Jiang Yu also came. The three boys went to play basketball, Xu Qin and Zhan Xiaorao sat next to them and watched. Speaking of which, Xu Qin, Zhan Xiaorao, and Jiang Yu had actually met each other since childhood, and they were both familiar with Meng Yanchen and Xiao Yixiao. It was just that Xu Qin didn¡¯t like to make friends, they only met each other at parties when she was young, and then she went abroad for many years. Instead, they waited until now to get to know each other. ¡°I heard you are with that firefighter?¡± Zhan Xiaorao suddenly asked. Xu Qin: ¡°Ah.¡± ¡°Will you really be together in the future?¡± ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin nodded. ¡°You¡¯re quite courageous.¡± Zhan Xiaorao said, and added, ¡°However, he is indeed very attractive. If I fell in love with him, I would also be willing to give up everything for him.¡± Xu Qin smiled slightly. Before, there was a bit of a grudge in her heart, why did Song Yan go to see Zhan Xiaorao that night, and what did they talk about. But she didn¡¯t know when it started, she was not curious anymore. Xu Qin asked, ¡°Do you have someone you¡¯re in love with?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Zhan Xiaorao said, looking at the boys playing on the court. Xu Qin followed her gaze and looked over, not knowing who she was looking at. ¡°I¡¯ve been chasing him for years, and I don¡¯t know when I will catch up.¡± Zhan Xiaorao said. Xu Qin didn¡¯t mind too much and didn¡¯t care. She sat on the edge of the court and looked at them as if she had seen the years of childhood. But the memories did not make her linger too much, all she was thinking about at the moment was Song Yan. Not long after playing, the sky suddenly began to snow, it was dinner time, and Meng Yanchen called everyone back to eat. Xu Qin thought of Song Yan, feeling uneasy, and sent him a text message: ¡°What are you doing?¡± He quickly replied: ¡°At the museum. ¡± Followed by one: ¡°Don¡¯t worry, come out after having dinner with your parents.¡± ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll look for a place. Don¡¯t worry.¡± Xu Qin frowned. In addition to museums, libraries, planetariums, research institutions and large parks, there was no place to eat or rest nearby. Still worried, Xiao Yixiao came over and patted her on the head: ¡°What are you thinking about, let¡¯s go.¡± Xu Qin put away her mobile phone. The snow was getting heavier and heavier. Dinner was still being prepared, Xiao Yixiao and the others played in the living room. They had all been acquaintances and playmates since childhood, naturally there wasn¡¯t any awkward silence. Fu Wenying came downstairs and chatted with a few juniors for a while, but never spoke to Xu Qin. Fortunately, no one noticed. And because there were many people in the family, there was no need to face Fu Wenying, Xu Qin was less restrained and a little more at ease. But she gradually sat still, looking out the window from time to time, the sky was full of snow. She didn¡¯t know what Song Yan was doing now, still in the museum? Just thinking about it, she bumped into Jiang Yu¡¯s gaze. He had been observing her since just now. When he was discovered, he simply came over to her and asked, ¡°You told me before that there was someone you liked. The one you like is a firefighter?¡± ¡°¡­¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°How come even you know?¡± ¡°Xiao Yixiao said.¡± ¡°¡­¡­His big mouth.¡± ¡°He thinks you¡¯re quite brave.¡± Jiang Yu smiled, ¡°Inconvenient to let me know?¡± ¡°No. It doesn¡¯t matter if you know it or not.¡± ¡°Your parents don¡¯t agree, do they?¡± ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin waited for a few seconds, strange, ¡°You also know this?¡± ¡­¡­Oh, a guess too. ¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a guess.¡± Jiang Yu said, ¡°I seem to have seen him just now. I don¡¯t know if I was mistaken.¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t understand: ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°When I entered the compound, I saw him. Waiting for someone outside, he should be waiting for you. Your mother won¡¯t let him in the door?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s heart shook violently and she felt cold. When dinner was ready, Fu Wenying called everyone to take a seat. Xu Qin quickly opened her mobile phone to search for the museum, and sure enough, the webpage clearly said that the museum was closed on Saturdays and Sundays. Xu Qin¡¯s heart throbbed with pain. Looking at the heavy snow outside the window, and then at the warm heating in the room, she felt unsteady, as if she might shatter. She walked quickly to Fu Wenying¡¯s side, her voice very low: ¡°Mom, I¡¯m in a hurry, so I¡¯m leaving first. I¡¯ll see you next week.¡± Fu Wenying looked at the living room with a smile: ¡°Yixiao, Jiang Yu, come over to eat.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s face froze for a moment, her nose suddenly soured, and she almost couldn¡¯t hold back and burst into tears. She just wanted to be with the person she liked, what was wrong with her? She tremblingly begged her for peace, and Song Yan waited silently in the wind and snow, why? Why did she still want to inflict cold violence on her like this? She scratched the edge of the table with her fingers, her fingertips turned white, and the overwhelming emotions in her chest seemed to pour out, but other people had already walked over, so she immediately turned her head away and swallowed everything into her stomach. Everyone did not notice anything unusual in the corner of the table, and sat down separately. Xu Qin stood still. Fu Wenying sat down, took apart the napkin, and glanced at Xu Qin: ¡°Sit down and eat. What are you standing for?¡± Xu Qin looked at her, not knowing why she changed her attitude. She stared at Fu Wenying¡¯s eyes, gradually, her heart was cold, she guessed that she was in a hurry to leave because Song Yan was waiting outside? And that condescending expression was sure that she had given this gift, so she will obediently sit down and accept it? Let her sit here and laugh with everyone to taste this sumptuous and warm dinner, while Song Yan was alone in the wind and snow of the night? Xu Qin blinked quickly, word by word: ¡°I¡¯m leaving.¡± Fu Wenying smiled: ¡°Sit down. Finish eating before leaving.¡± Xu Qin trembled all over, she wanted to be angry in an instant, but she endured and restrained herself, hoping that she could solve it thoroughly. But she was really powerless. She also hated herself, why did she become the most useless Xu Qin as soon as she returned home, why couldn¡¯t she squeezed anything out of this family, no matter whether she loved or hated it. ¡°She said she was in a hurry, didn¡¯t you hear, mom?¡± Meng Yanchen asked lightly. Fu Wenying looked at Meng Yanchen. Meng Yanchen looked up at Xu Qin and said, ¡°Need to go?¡± Xu Qin nodded. Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t ask much and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± He gently grabbed her hand that was stuck on the edge of the table and shook it. She had been like this since she was a child, she would pick the table when she was nervous and panicked. This habit had not changed since she grew up. He shook her hand again and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Fu Wenying¡¯s face changed, and she was just about to say something. But Xiao Yixiao took the first step: ¡°Qin Qin, if you have something to do, go first, let¡¯s meet again on the east side some other day.¡± Jiang Yu also said: ¡°Go. Let¡¯s meet up to drink again.¡± Xu Qin was no longer in the mood to respond, she turned around and walked away quickly. Watching her figure disappeared into the porch, Meng Yanchen silently withdrew his gaze and glanced at the people at this table. He has invited so many friends over for dinner just to make her feel a little more comfortable at home. But¡­¡­ Forget it, it could be regarded as helping her to get out. He calmly picked up the chopsticks, the phone in his pocket vibrated, and he picked it up to see that it was a text message from Xu Qin, with only two words: ¡°Thank you.¡± Meng Yanchen stared at the text message for a long time, and finally turned off the screen. ¡­¡­ Large flakes of snow fell from the sky like salt. As soon as Xu Qin went out, she rushed towards the courtyard, obviously not a big yard, but it was like running over 3,000 feet. Running to the door, she saw a sentry in a military coat holding a gun standing guard, while Song Yan slightly bowed his shoulders, standing on the side of the road smoking. It was dark. The heat and smoke he exhaled mixed together, scattered in the cold wind and snow. Tears welled up in her eyes in an instant. He was obviously such a tough and arrogant person, so unafraid of everything. Xu Qin burst into tears. She raced over. He was biting his cigarette, frowning, looked down at the snow in his hair, heard the footsteps, and turned back. She rushed into his arms and hugged him. Song Yan was knocked back by her, a little surprised: ¡°Why did you come out?¡± She refused to look up, and tried her best to adjust her smiling voice: ¡°Ate early, finished eating.¡± ¡°Yeah?¡± He glanced at her, not knowing if he believed it. Holding her shoulders to pull her away to see her face, she refused, holding him desperately and not letting go. He was a little amused: ¡°What¡¯s wrong? ¡± She buried her head and smiled with tears in her eyes: ¡°I don¡¯t want to come here again.¡± He was slightly stunned: ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Nothing. Unhappy here. I¡¯ve been thinking about you.¡± ¡°Unhappy at the thought of me?¡± He actually had the intention to tease lightly. She was so angry that she laughed, laughed so much that tears overflowed, she immediately buried into his chest and rubbed her tears dry. Only then did she finally let go of him and lowered her head to prevent him from seeing her face: ¡°Let¡¯s go home, go home, it¡¯s cold.¡± She stomped her foot and tried to take his hand, just touching a trace of cold. He withdrew his hand and called a taxi with his mobile phone. His hands had never been as cold as they were at the moment. Xu Qin didn¡¯t say anything, and when she looked up at him, she pursed her lips and smiled slightly. Didn¡¯t ask what he saw in the museum. It wasn¡¯t until she got into the car that she sat down with him and rested her head on his shoulder. The car drove for a long time, and his clothes were still cold. She took his arm and held his cold hand between her legs. Song Yan was stunned and wanted to pull it out, Xu Qin tightly restrained his arms, clamped his palms between her legs, and whispered: ¡°Don¡¯t move, I¡¯ll get angry if you move.¡± She said seriously. He didn¡¯t move and didn¡¯t speak for a while. Both of them were silent, not knowing what each other was thinking. After a long time, he moved his fingers, stroked the bottom of her legs, and teased slightly: ¡°Aren¡¯t you afraid that I will take advantage of you?¡± ¡°Then I¡¯ll take advantage of you back.¡± She said sharply. He smiled. ¡°Song Yan?¡± ¡°En?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s get home and eat the seafood we ate that night, okay?¡± He looked down at her. ¡°The meal I just had was not delicious. Not delicious at all.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± He said, tilting his head slightly and leaned on her head. In the dark pupils of the eyes, the lights outside the window were reflected, the snowflakes flying. CH 54 Soon, more than half of January had passed, only the last extremely cold days of winter remained. As soon as the temperature in Di City dropped again and again, people who stayed outside for a while would have frozen bones. There were many places on the road where there was ice, you had to be vigilant when walking, if you were not careful, you would fall and gnaw mud. More middle-aged and elderly people came to the emergency room, many fell and suffered from fractures or serious injuries. When Xu Qin was eating at home that day, she especially told uncle and aunt to pay attention when walking. The two elders were happy, saying that she was filial and caring, but it made her a little embarrassed. Uncle and aunt also knew about Song Yan¡¯s preparation, and they wanted him to be transferred from the squadron to the brigade. Not to mention promotion and salary increase, you could also work and rest on weekends and holidays, the most important thing was safety. The two were happier than Xu Qin, and sighed that this man, sure enough, still wanted to start a family before he planned everything. Xu Qin didn¡¯t ask Song Yan about this when she talked to him on the phone, but she also learned from just a few words that everything was going well on his side. She wasn¡¯t surprised. He was already outstanding and has strong leadership skills. The exam, don¡¯t have to mention it, one could get a high score after reading a few days of books, everything was handy. On the contrary, on her side, she came back from the last earthquake and made a contribution, it stood to reason that everything should go smoothly. Some time ago, a colleague in the personnel department also asked her to re-ask for a resume and examination transcript, as if for the evaluation of professional titles. But recently there had been no news. Xu Qin was not an acute child, but thinking that Song Yan¡¯s side was going well, and her side had stopped, it was inevitably brought to mind, at noon that day, she took time to go to the Burn Surgery Department, wanted to know the specific time she would return to the outpatient clinic after completing the Emergency Department rotation, and incidentally asked the attending physician. The director was very kind and said, ¡°The rotation work of the Emergency Department has been hard on you, and your performance during the period of work was excellent, everyone could see it. After the Spring Festival holiday, you can go back to the Outpatient Department.¡± Xu Qin nodded, thinking that when she returned to the clinic, she could work normally most of the time, and have a weekend holiday, she couldn¡¯t help but purse her lower lip. But in the next second, the director said: ¡°But the matter of title selection, we have to wait for the leaders of the academy to discuss it.¡± Xu Qin was a little surprised, and asked: ¡°The selection was presided over by the head of the department and the professor, why should the leaders of the academy discuss it?¡± ¡°Oh, then to put it bluntly, in fact, I was going to choose you, but at that time the doctors made some noise, some of the words you said to the patient on the rooftop, the words were inappropriate, and the leader thought that it damaged the image of the hospital. This was on the cusp of a storm, and could be properly avoided. Don¡¯t be discouraged, there will be a chance next time.¡± Xu Qin stared at the director, and saw that the latter was a little weak-hearted. He secretly felt in his heart that Xiao Xu was also usually not warm with colleagues, but even if she was not warm, she wouldn¡¯t even bow down in front of her superiors, so dim-witted. Xu Qin: ¡°I searched on the internet, the medical trouble has long been resolved peacefully, without the slightest rumor.¡± The director was stunned. Xu Qin continued: ¡°Why did the hospital leader suddenly have the leisure to care about a little doctor like me? Even if I have to take care of it, what I did that day, in a way, did it not solve the problem for the hospital?¡± The director was speechless, and after a while, he simply diverted the conflict and put the pressure on his superiors: ¡°Xiao Xu, I can¡¯t help if you pressure me. If you don¡¯t agree with it, you can go to the hospital leader.¡± Xu Qin asked seriously: ¡°The problems in the department are solved in the department, you are my leader, why do I have to go beyond that level?¡± The director was another in another branch, and she didn¡¯t know if he really was talking about principles or deliberately blocking her. She said: ¡°Let me first make my attitude clear: if you don¡¯t choose me, please give a more appropriate reason, you could give what major mistake I made, what rules I violated, whether my test scores were not as high as other doctors, or my actual work was not as good as other doctors. As for the absurd reason just now, I do not accept it.¡± What Xu Qin wanted to say had been clarified, she didn¡¯t talk anymore nonsense with him, bowed her head politely, and left. She walked quickly to the corridor, slammed the safety door behind her, took a deep breath, saying that she was not angry would be a lie. After all, growing up, everywhere she walked was a smooth road, when did she suffer this kind of suppression? But she quickly calmed down. It wasn¡¯t the last moment yet, everything was still undecided, so she wasn¡¯t angry with herself. Let¡¯s see what Professor Xu had to say. Before she reached the door, she heard the professor who had always been calm, being angry: ¡°I don¡¯t agree and won¡¯t sign!¡± Director: ¡°Professor¡ª¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to grind with me, among these people, Dr. Xu is the most qualified. Whichever one you chose, I won¡¯t agree to the rest, and don¡¯t be underhanded.¡± Xu Qin slowly leaned against the wall. ¡°Didn¡¯t you hate Xiao Xu before?¡± ¡°Whether I hate her or not is my business, whether she can do it or not is her business. I will ask you, the most qualified doctor in this group is her, why did you suppress her.¡± ¡°I say why are you so stubborn, the higher ups said that Dr. Xu would not be promoted¡ª¡± Xu Qin¡¯s mind was confused and did not react. ¡°I think the higher ups have been too long at the top, the heart can¡¯t tell the difference between left and right. This is a hospital, not bureaucracy! It¡¯s a matter of human life which you all are messing with! You don¡¯t need to persuade me again, it¡¯s rare for me to find a good successor. As long as I am in the Burn Surgery Department for one more day, I will protect her. If you don¡¯t choose her, don¡¯t choose the other one, our department will be fine.¡± ¡°Eh why are you so stubborn and insist on competing with the leader?¡± Xu Qin turned to leave and walked into the stairwell again. Today was cloudy, the corridor was dark and gloomy. She took out her mobile phone, looked up Fu Wenying¡¯s phone and dialed it, it rang a few times, and was hung up. She didn¡¯t know if it was because of anger or because of the panic that fate was controlled again, she trembled slightly, but quickly suppressed it and quickly typed: ¡°Mom, are you interfering with my work? Please don¡¯t do this.¡± She pinched her phone and waited in the corridor for a long time. The corridor on this side was a safe escape passage, there was no heating, the chill outside the window invaded, gradually freezing her teeth, rattling. The other end never replied. The cold weakened the defense of the human heart, she clearly felt the anger and frustration in her body that could no longer be suppressed, her lips and fingers trembled together, and she quickly typed again: ¡°When I entered the hospital, I didn¡¯t ask my family for help, I came in on my own! Please don¡¯t do such a thing!¡± This time, she returned: ¡°Then you can be promoted according to your own ability.¡± Xu Qin stayed in place, all her feelings faded in an instant, she didn¡¯t know whether it was disappointment or powerlessness. This person so easily wiped out all these years of hard work. And this person is the person she considers her mother, the person she wants to save even if she was treated like that. She quickly typed out a few words: ¡°Good. I will.¡± When she was ready to send, she stopped for a second. Intensifying the conflict was not good for her. She stood in the dim corridor, her heart also obscured, she suddenly felt a little funny, laughing at her inferiority engraved into her bones. The phone rang, it was Xiao Bei. She had to go back to work. She covered her face hard, quickly collected her emotions, so as not to affect her work. Otherwise, her confidence when she said those words in front of the director would be wiped out. She was not that stupid. In subsequent work, Professor Xu did not have a kind face for her as usual, and made all kinds of criticisms and reprimands. There was gossip among colleagues that the professor did not like her and that she could not be promoted. As a doctor, one couldn¡¯t see the human heart clearly. Whether this person was good or bad to you, one couldn¡¯t just look at the surface, even if you cut it open and looked inside, you wouldn¡¯t be able to judge whether it was good or bad. Xu Qin focused on her work as always, which was the foundation of her life, and she knew it clearly. But when she stopped to rest, it was inevitable she felt sad about the promotion. When she went to boil water, her mind drifted, the boiling water overflowed, and almost burnt her feet. She sighed helplessly, walked out of the water room, saw the fire hydrant on the wall, and remembered Song Yan. She stood with her head down for a while, took out her mobile phone to text him, just typed out ¡°what are you doing¡±, thought about it, deleted word by word, and slowly typed out a new one: ¡°I missed you.¡± Less than ten seconds later, he called. She immediately picked up: ¡°Hello?¡± ¡°What are you doing?¡± he asked, with a faint smile in his tone. Her heart suddenly soothed down a lot, and she also smiled: ¡°I¡¯m thinking about you.¡± He laughed, but soon asked, ¡°Was there something unhappy?¡± She looked down at the mist in the water cup: ¡°En. ¡­. Today I was lectured by the professor again.¡± ¡°Why were you lectured?¡± ¡°He¡¯s strict with me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a good thing,¡± he said. ¡°Then, you¡¯re going to discipline me too.¡± ¡°Have I?¡± he laughed. She snorted softly, leaned her back against the wall, and asked, ¡°What about you, are you tired from work?¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Song Yan said, ¡°There¡¯s less attendance these days, and the citizens are relatively well-behaved.¡± She couldn¡¯t help but laugh: ¡°How well-behaved? ¡± ¡°Not as good as you,¡± he said. Holding the phone and raising her head, she smiled even wider. During the short break between each other¡¯s work, the call was less than a minute before hanging up. Xu Qin put down the phone, breathed a long sigh of relief, and quickly went back to work. Song Yan put down the phone, smiled faintly, and continued to train the search and rescue dog. At eleven o¡¯clock at night, an hour before the change of guard, Song Yan received an order from his superiors that a bar in Liu Ye Tan was on fire and asked them to come to support. The firefighting troop rushed to the scene of the incident, three fire trucks rushed to the scene of the incident. The famous bar street of Liu Ye Tan. It was late at night, the neighborhood was full of traffic and phantom neon lights. Fire sirens pierced through the night sky, and private car owners gave way one after another. However, there were too many vehicles and the traffic was not smooth. Two or three fire squadrons failed to reach the scene of the accident immediately. The fire trucks drove outside the block for another five or six minutes before slowly crossing the already not-so-spacious bar street and gathered back together. At this time, thick smoke billowed from the entrance of the bar where the accident occurred, and open flames could be seen from a long distance away. Fortunately, in the few minutes when the fire truck arrived, most of the people in the bar escaped and gathered around to watch. Song Yan jumped out of the car: ¡°Li Cheng, Jiang Yi, evacuate with the people of the fifth team; Xiao Ge, pull the cordon; Yang Chi, lay the water belt, add water pressure.¡± After speaking, several instructors and squadron leaders quickly gathered, and the captain of the Liu Ye Tan Squadron brought a schematic diagram of the building of the burning bar. The bar had a ¡°concave¡± shape, with the bottom end facing the street, one floor above ground and one floor below. The upper floor consisted of a stage, bar and sofa booths around it, while the lower floor was entirely private compartment booths. There was only a narrow staircase passage between the floors, and there was no other way out. There were still trapped people in the bar, and it was important to save them. The firefighters did not have much time to delay, they soon deployed manpower and entered the fire scene in groups. Song Yan put on a protective mask, led the team together, and entered the fire against the firelight. The interior was originally intricately decorated, with wallpaper wooden windows, carved tables and chairs, but now it had been burned black by the fire and its shape was distorted. The fire has passed its initial stage, with a raging heat wave and suspended black ash. The four walls and ceilings were filled with fire, the ornaments hanging overhead burned into fireballs, which split and fell down, falling to the ground; The wall partitions burned to the ground, and the floor caught fire, piles of grass like flames. The people were almost all gone, only the tongue of fire stirred wildly. It didn¡¯t take long for Song Yan to enter the scene of the fire, and he felt unwell all over his body, sweating crazily, and exhausted within a few minutes. Logically speaking, that shouldn¡¯t be. Although he had been injured for a while before, his training has not fallen behind in recent weeks. Although the protective clothing weighed more than ten pounds, it was not so heavy. Firefighters entered the scene mainly to find people, they found two injured people trapped in the booth on the first floor, who fell into a coma due to the thick smoke and high temperature, and were quickly carried out by Li Cheng and Lao Dong. On the stairs leading to the basement lay several people, one by one, there was no sign of survival, they were trampled to death by the crowd in the process of escaping. Jiang Yi and several other firefighters rushed through the flame corridor, down the stairs, and to the basement. ¡°There¡¯s not much fire down there,¡± Jiang Yi turned around and shouted, ¡°The smoke is thick.¡± Xiao Ge walked down the stairs, suddenly sat down on his butt, and almost rolled down. Song Yan grabbed him by the collar: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°Nothing. I can¡¯t breathe, my legs are soft.¡± Xiao Ge said, standing up while leaning against the wall, his gloves sizzled and crackled when they touched the hot wall. Song Yan was stunned. It was not that he alone found it unbearable, but the temperature in this room was already dangerously high. He immediately turned his head to look at the basement, where black smoke settled in large quantities and poured into the doorway, drowning the waists and legs of the firefighters. Tongues of fire sprang up from the bottom up, jumped from the ground to the ceiling, and the air seemed to be quiet for a moment, as if some bad luck was brewing. A sense of foreboding hit his heart, This was¡­¡­ An explosion? Firefighters¡¯ trouser legs were slowly disappearing into the door frame. Song Yan pulled back Xiao Ge, who had already gone downstairs, and roared downstairs: ¡°Retreat!! All of you! Fall back!!¡± A flash of orange flame suddenly flashed at the top of the door, accompanied by sporadic and strange crackling sounds, Song Yan dragged Xiao Ge back and roared like crazy: ¡°Everyone! Retreat immediately!¡± The orange flame suddenly spread out like ink dripping into clear water. In an instant, the fire filled the room like a cracking lightning pattern, everywhere it went, everything exploded in an instant. With a loud bang, the entire basement exploded. The fire broke through everything. CH 55 Late at night, Fifth People¡¯s Hospital of Di City. The emergency building was brightly lit, and the lobby on the first floor was in chaos. A mobile hospital bed quickly rolled across the ground, leaving a trail of blood, and the figures of the medical staff quickly disappeared at the end of the corridor. In the next second, a new mobile hospital bed was lifted from the ambulance and rushed to the emergency room. The blood stains rolling through the wheel drew long red lines, one after another, staggered together. Within a few minutes, the floor of the hall was painted with red and black marks into a large flower face. Several emergency operating rooms lit red lights in unison. After a brief bustle, the hall fell into an eerie silence. Several nurses at the consultation desk frowned with their expressions solemn. ¡°How did so many people get hurt?¡± ¡°There was a fire over on bar street and it exploded.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s terrible for the firefighters, I heard that one died on the spot, there wasn¡¯t enough ambulances, and the body hasn¡¯t been brought back yet.¡± ¡°Aih¡­¡± A soft sigh. The wall clock ticked one by one. The cleaner picked up the mop and wiped the blood on the floor. The door of the consultation hall suddenly opened, the cold wind of the deep winter poured in, sweeping all over the room, and everyone looked over. A woman with a pale face rushed in, her eyes swept around, and quickly fell to the consultation desk. She ran through the hall, saw mottled blood on the soles of her feet, and her lips turned pale for a while: ¡°Excuse me, there was a fire on bar street, and the injured firefighters were sent to your hospital?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± The nurse glanced at her, she must have come from home, pajamas could be seen under the down jacket, and the person was shivering with cold. ¡°Is there a list of injured firefighters?¡± ¡°Nope. Are you¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m from Third Military Hospital,¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°My, my family member, is a firefighter.¡± She paused for a second, as if her mind couldn¡¯t keep up with her rate of speech, she licked her dry lips, and said, ¡°I¡¯ve called him for a long time, and no one answered. I¡¯m a little worried.¡± The nurse looked at the woman in front of her, she wasn¡¯t just ¡°a little¡± worried. Her hands were clutching the edge of the table, her phone covered with sweat. She was trying her best to maintain the expression on her face, but every time she said a word, the expression on her entire face was not right. ¡°There is no list right now, who was sent in, we don¡¯t know as well.¡± ¡°How are the injured doing?¡± She tried her best to ask for as much information as possible. ¡°There is one that¡¯s quite serious. I heard that there was another one who died on the spot.¡± She swayed, pinched the phone tightly, hesitated for a while, turned around to leave, then paused for a while, then turned around and said, ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°No problem.¡± When the nurse saw her turn around, a burst of tears suddenly welled up in her eyes, as if she wanted to cry, but in an instant she blinked hard and suppressed it. She left the consultation desk, walked to the corner leading to the operating room, crouched down along the wall and hugged herself. Above the operating room, a red light was on. ¡­¡­ Liu Ye Tan, bar street. Due to the explosion of the fire at the bar, the risk factor increased greatly and the trapped people had no possibility of survival, so all the firefighters withdrew from the fire scene and used high-pressure water cannons to extinguish the fire by external spray. The firefighters continued to work, the high-pressure jets of water carrying black soot flowed through the street. Onlookers and media were evicted to outside of the police cordon. Inside the cordon, fire truck lights and ambulance lights were flashing continuously, and the figures of firefighters and doctors were busy going back and forth. Song Yan was sitting in the ambulance, his protective suit covered with a thick layer of soot, mixed with a lot of blackened blood. His hair was also covered in smoke, his face had just been cleaned, his skin was red from the heat, and there was a few traces of chapping. But that was nothing. The nurse bandaged the wound on his arm, and on the other side, Xiao Ge had a burn wound on his neck and was tilting his head for the doctor to deal with. The moment the explosion occurred, Song Yan pulled Xiao Ge out of the staircase. Jiang Yi and the others also quickly withdrew the moment they received the order, but as soon as they rushed up half of the stairs, it exploded underneath. One of the recruits was on fire, although the firefighters outside immediately went in to spray water, he had already stopped breathing when they dragged them out. He was a recruit from Liu Ye Tan Fire Squadron. The doctor said the shockwaves generated by the burst shattered his chest. Song Yan glanced outside the car, the curb was covered with a white cloth, the recruit laid there. The cold wind blew past and lifted a corner of the white cloth, the child¡¯s hands were thin and covered with bloody ash. After his wound was treated, Song Yan got out of the ambulance and walked towards him, but someone covered the corner of the white cloth. The squadron leader of Liu Ye Tan stretched the white cloth for the new recruit, sat aside, lowered his head and covered his face, crying until his shoulders twitched. Song Yan sat beside him in silence and listened to him whimper like a child: ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have sent him in, I shouldn¡¯t have sent him. How can I explain this to his parents¡­¡± Song Yan was silent, he looked at the bar where the accident occurred, the water column was still spraying, and there was an uproar. The fire was extinguished, but nothing could be recovered from the fire. The place had burned to the ground, and a group of firefighters went in, dragging out the bodies of the dead civilians one after another. The fire was completely extinguished. The captain next to him was still crying, Song Yan got up, patted him on the shoulder, and walked back into the bar. It was all charred inside. Before, some objects could still be seen in silhouettes, but now they were burned to the ground, except for a few load-bearing walls, all of which were reduced to ashes. This fire burned too fast and too hard. Song Yan opened the burnt fire hydrant in the corridor to check it, then picked up a fire extinguisher and looked at it. After looking at it, he threw the things back without saying a word, and went down to the basement. The compartment decks were all burned down and turned into a large space. After walking a few steps, a guest was lying in the ruins under his feet, his skin glowed yellow, the firefighters behind him dragged the victim out. Song Yan walked to the most severely burned wall and took a look, the most severely burned area upstairs was also on this side. Judging from the movement of the fire, it was the circuit on this side that caught fire and burned the entire wall above and below. The upper part was more ventilated, the fire spread quickly, while the lower part had less air flow, incomplete combustion, narrow and continuous heating, combustible gas mixing, and finally a deflagration. It could have been less catastrophic. Someone came up behind him, it was Suo Jun: ¡°The owner of the bar was taken away by the police, and we got an investigation result of the cause of the fire. Lao Dong and I are in charge. You are injured, go back to the car to rest first.¡± Song Yan: ¡°I will write the report this time.¡± Suo Jun noticed that his face was different: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yan did not speak, he turned over facing the residual ash on the wall. Suo Jun sighed: ¡°Explosion is the most uncontrollable aspect in fire rescue, and no one could have helped in this situation.¡± ¡°It shouldn¡¯t have been this bad.¡± Song Yan looked extremely calm and looked up at the ceiling, ¡°There was only one exit in this place, and it was a high-risk area. But the smoke alarms and sprinklers here were all useless, there was no water in the hydrants, and the fire extinguishers have expired. And this wall full of flammable material, overloaded circuit design, how did it pass the fire inspection?¡± Song Yan sneered: ¡°I bet that this boss paid a bribe, he¡¯ll get punished for this.¡± He turned around and walked out, Suo Jun stepped forward to grab him and whispered: ¡°What are you going to do?¡± Song Yan stared at him: ¡°What do you mean what am I going to do?¡± Suo Jun glanced at the firefighters who were clearing the scene everywhere, and forcibly pulled Song Yan aside, ¡°Bribery?¡± Suo Jun lowered his voice, ¡°If there were bribes, then somebody must be receiving the bribes! Are you going to say which of your superiors took the bribes? Huh?¡± Song Yan: ¡°I don¡¯t care which bastard took them.¡± Suo Jun: ¡°The people in the upper brigade all look up and don¡¯t look down¡ª¡ª¡± Song Yan: ¡°Who looked up with them and didn¡¯t look down, and did they think about the brothers below when they collected the money?¡± Suo Jun: ¡°You wait for this matter first, discuss¡ª¡ª¡± Song Yan: ¡°No negotiation!¡± His anger could no longer be suppressed. Suo Jun was silent for a second and did not speak. Song Yan turned around to leave, Suo Jun stepped forward and grabbed him, about to go crazy: ¡°Song Yan, if you don¡¯t care about them, think for yourself! Today you judged correctly and saved the lives of at least five firefighters, you did a meritorious service! The higher ups have to praise and reward you.¡± ¡°You¡¯re about to be promoted, and at this juncture you are going to poke a hornet¡¯s nest, do you still want to¡ª¡± Song Yan lifted his hand and pointed to the door: ¡°That child is still lying outside and no one has collected the body! Your fucking conscience was eaten by dogs!¡± Suo Jun was dumbfounded, his eyes turned red in an instant, his lips trembled a few times, with his bloodshot eyes he lowered his voice: ¡°Song Yan, we are all brothers, doesn¡¯t my heart hurt?! Doesn¡¯t my heart hurt when he was still alive and kicking around just now?! Who am I doing this for? I¡¯m afraid you¡¯ll step on thunder! Was it easy for you to get to where you are today? Those military merits are all exchanged with blood and lives! Now that people are dead, let¡¯s take the living too? Do you still want to work?¡± The corner of Song Yan¡¯s mouth twitched: ¡°I¡¯ll fucking quit! And what?¡± ¡°Fuckin¡¯¡­¡± Song Yan seemed to want to say something, but when the words came to his lips, he shook his head, unable to say anything, he looked up at the dark roof, and laughed out loud. ¡°Tell me, why do the brothers train so hard? With such a big fire, who hesitated for a second and said no. Then, let someone stab them in the back¡­¡± He lowered his head, shook his head, smiled and laughed so hard until his shoulders collapsed. Suo Jun covered his face, his tears choked up: ¡°I just saw that child being carried out, and I burst into tears. He said he was only nineteen¡­ I don¡¯t know what happened to the few that our team sent to the hospital. But Song Yan, I still have to say, these years have not been easy for you, and you are about to make it through¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to the hospital.¡± Song Yan interrupted, started to leave, and said, ¡°If it¡¯s really like what you said, I will be suppressed, then I really don¡¯t want to continue anymore.¡± Song Yan walked out of the bar, and used the water pipe to wash the ash and blood on the surface of his clothes. The dead firefighter was carried to the ambulance, and Song Yan went to the hospital with him. The captain of Liu Ye Tan could no longer cry, leaning against the inner wall of the car, his eyes dull. Song Yan was also exhausted, physically and even more so in his heart. A glance out the window, the night scene of this city was extremely prosperous. Young people roamed the streets, laughing. At three o¡¯clock in the morning, media waiting to report gathered at the entrance of the hospital. At this moment, Song Yan could no longer hear those official words, his ears blocked everything, and he avoided the reporter to enter the hospital hall. He went to the information desk and learned that most of the firefighters had been treated, but one was in surgery. Song Yan followed the nurse to the ward to check one by one and to confirm the information of the injured, Jiang Yi, Yang Chi and Tong Ming in his team had been treated and were now asleep. The captain of Liu Team also calmed down a little and checked the identity of his team members with the nurse. After the nurse left, Song Yan sat alone in the ward for a long time, looking at the young faces full of scars on the hospital bed. Much later, he got up and left. The heart was clear, firm, he cannot fail them. He passed through the hallway and heard the rolling sound of a moving bed, the last operation was completed. Song Yan followed the sound and saw Xu Qin at a glance. His mind was immediately confused. Wrapped in a down jacket and wearing pajama pants, she squatted on the ground, staring blankly in the direction of the operating room. As soon as she saw the door open, she immediately got up, got up too quickly, swayed, and quickly held on to the wall. The hospital bed was pushed over, and she looked at it with a pale face stretching her neck. On the hospital bed was an unfamiliar face. The hospital bed was pushed away. She stood in a daze, her face gradually showing panic, she turned around to run out, but she was facing his line of sight. She was stunned, her chest heaving violently, and after calming down a little, she quickly trotted towards him, quickly scanned him up and down, and asked, ¡°Are you all right?¡± He shook his head, his expression was not good. Don¡¯t look past her, don¡¯t look at her. She noticed: ¡°What happened? The one that died¡­ was he yours¡­¡± ¡°He¡¯s not.¡± He interrupted. Xu Qin was stunned for a moment, and Song Yan also realized that his attitude was a little tough, he was silent for several seconds, but he still didn¡¯t look at her and asked, ¡°Why are you here?¡± She observed him cautiously: ¡°I saw the news, saying that there was an explosion, firefighters were injured¡­¡± ¡°When did you come?¡± He looked at the wall. ¡°¡­¡­Twelve. ¡± She waited for him for three hours in panic and fear. Song Yan suddenly turned around, turned his back to her, and rubbed his face hard. He didn¡¯t want to see her in such a state, and he didn¡¯t want to see himself dragging her into this state. He was irritable, angry, restless, and at that moment, he owed her, felt guilty and powerlessness; adding fuel to the fire, the two waves of emotions tugged and pulled his nerves, it was too much to bear, and he was about to burst. Xu Qin had already discovered that something was wrong. She sensed that Song Yan¡¯s emotions were a little out of control, as if he was holding back to prevent a collapse. She didn¡¯t dare to walk in front of him and carefully touch his hand from behind: ¡°Song Yan¡ª¡ª¡± He abruptly dodged and the man turned around. Her hand caught the air, and her heart followed. She was a little flustered, and her eyes stared at him: ¡°Song Yan, what¡¯s wrong? Tell me.¡± He took a big breath, calmed down a little, and finally looked at her squarely: ¡°I still have to rush back, there is not much time. Xu Qin, the promotion I promised you, something may change. ¡­¡­Sigh, maybe I¡¯m quitting.¡± She didn¡¯t say anything. He pulled out a smile: ¡°You can call me untrustworthy, irresponsible, lying to you¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t say that!¡± She couldn¡¯t listen anymore, her eyes turned red in an instant, and she interrupted, ¡°Song Yan, don¡¯t say that.¡± The look in her eyes made him feel cold. He was quiet for a moment, staring at her. She asked, ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°The fire was serious, in part because the fire inspection took loopholes.¡± Xu Qin understood in an instant, and suddenly couldn¡¯t say anything. Song Yan: ¡°Disappointed?¡± She immediately shook her head. She just got it. She understood his painful struggle at this moment. If it weren¡¯t for her, he probably wouldn¡¯t feel so burdened. Her heart hurt a little. For him, for her, and for both of them. Such a good person, why was the road up so difficult? Such a good couple, why was the road to each other so bumpy? It was clear that they had worked hard along the way, but there were always new accidents and troubles. They clearly looked forward to a better future, but there were always so many obstacles, she didn¡¯t know if they could reach the final destination in the end. However, even so, she still want to go on. Her eyes were slightly moist and she smiled: ¡°Is this life?¡± Song Yan smiled lightly: ¡°This is life with me.¡± CH 56 At three o¡¯clock in the morning, there was silence in the hospital. Song Yan leaned his back against the wall and sat on the floor of the corridor, he had calmed down, too tired. Xu Qin brought a glass of water to him, after he drank it in one gulp, his lips were still a little chapped. She sat down next to him on the ground, her pajama pants tucked up, revealing her white ankles. That¡¯s how she was squatting here just now. Song Yan stretched out his hand to hold her ankle, it was cool, he couldn¡¯t let go of it. Xu Qin lowered her head, covered his hand, stroked it gently, and asked, ¡°What are you going to do?¡± ¡°Tell the facts.¡± ¡°En.¡± ¡°What do you want to say?¡± He looked at her. ¡°It¡¯s your job duty, I have nothing to say,¡± she said. He still looked at her. She said: ¡°If Professor Xu has a medical accident and someone dies, the higher-ups will investigate; as a participant, I will also record it truthfully. It¡¯s not because of right or wrong, but because of my duty. But if no one comes to ask me, then I¡­ even if I know, I won¡¯t say it, because I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡°That is like you,¡± Song Yan curled the corners of his mouth slightly, and asked bitterly, ¡°Don¡¯t you think I should lie and hide it? Like you said last time at supper, when you get promoted, to do bigger things?¡± She stopped stroking the back of his hand, thought seriously for a long moment, and asked rhetorically: ¡°Can you?¡± Song Yan looked at her, She hugged her legs, laid on her knees, and spoke: ¡°The Wan Liu Club that Xiao Yixiao frequents, there¡¯s a head hostess named Ah Lu. I¡¯ve always gone there with Xiao Yixiao to play and got to know her.¡± The corridor was very quiet, her voice wasn¡¯t loud, neither slow nor fast, ¡°I asked Ah Lu, there are so many beautiful girls in the club, where do so many resources come from, is it because the boss has a powerful background, he did something by force to milk people dry? Ah Lu said no, they were all voluntary. I was surprised, they were all first-class beautiful women, they could do well in other places, coming here, were they cornered by life? Ah Lu said, also no.¡± ¡°She said, that the club only recruits for the front desk, the salary is higher than that of white-collar workers. Although the applicants know that this is a shady area, but the front desk is clean. They are also prepared not to stay long, when they can quickly earn some money and be able to settle in Di City, they will leave.¡± ¡°After working at the front desk for a month, the head hostess said, why not be a room guide, just walk a few more steps, don¡¯t need to go into the room, the salary is doubled. En, double the salary means making enough faster and leaving faster, to start a new life. Let¡¯s be a guide.¡± ¡°A month later, the head hostess then said why not be a waitress, you¡¯ve already walked to the door of the room, if you lead the guest in, your salary would double. En, let¡¯s be a waitress.¡± ¡°Then the head hostess said, why not be a private room hostess, since you¡¯re already in the room, serve some tea and pour some water. En, in order to make enough money to leave faster, let¡¯s be a private room hostess. In another month, the head hostess said, be a companion hostess, when serving tea and pouring water, just chat with the guests, it¡¯s just moving from the front of the coffee table to the sofa, the salary can be doubled, and if you earn more, you can leave earlier. Okay, then let¡¯s be a companion hostess. Later, I¡¯m already paid to chat with the guests, so let them touch I guess; later, having already touched, let¡¯s sleep together then.¡± ¡°In the end, the money earned was already enough, but no one left. They all became hostesses and continued to make a lot of money, without exception.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°That¡¯s how Ah Lu lived her life.¡± The corridor was silent. She understood him, so she was coaxing him in her way. Song Yan didn¡¯t say a word, but inadvertently got closer to her. At this moment, not only the body, but also the mind, as if the two were closer. She felt it, and she couldn¡¯t help but lean closer to him. She rubbed her eyes, a little tired, but being tired made one more talkative, ¡°Actually, I don¡¯t think there¡¯s anything right or wrong about hostesses, maybe I don¡¯t have a view of right and wrong, I think that it is also their choice to do what they want. But if someone doesn¡¯t want to be a hostess in the first place, then I think, at the beginning of the story, don¡¯t be the ¡®clean¡¯ front desk. Because¡­¡± ¡°Some bottom lines, once you go past, it will be a thousand miles away. Things will not develop according to your initial imagination, because people are animals that will constantly make excuses for themselves. Many people have good ideas, but get lost on the way. When you take the first step against your original intention, your original intention can no longer be returned.¡± She slowly finished speaking, and was silent for a long time. Unsure if it was because she was sleepy, or if the thoughts in her head had been drained, she didn¡¯t react. The person next to her never responded. She turned her head and saw him staring at her all the time, with a calm expression, even a little tired, but there was a faint smile in his eyes, as if the man who was a little out of control just now had completely disappeared. And her Song Yan returned to her side. She couldn¡¯t help but smile slightly, as if she had finally coaxed him well: ¡°Are you laughing?¡± He curved the corners of his lips. ¡°Laughing at what?¡± ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± He shook his head, seeing that she was tired, he pulled her into his arms, pressed his chin against her temples, and said softly, ¡°I think you are very good.¡± She leaned into his arms, found a comfortable position to lean on, was silent for a long time, lowered her eyes sleepily: ¡°Actually, I¡¯m not that good, I also have a little selfishness in my heart, and I¡¯m not happy.¡± When he heard this, he took a breath almost imperceptibly, suppressing the emotions that were slightly churning in his heart, knowing very well what she was thinking, but still knowingly asked, wanting to hear her say: ¡°Such as?¡± She yawned slightly and said slowly: ¡°I also wonder if you would betray your principles for me. I don¡¯t want you to do this, but it seems like doing it can prove something.¡± He has always cared about her for how much or how little he had given her, ¡°However, the firefighter who just died is still lying there, your comrades are still unconscious, if you ignore the dead at this time, regardless of the truth, you would be terrible, and not the you that I like.¡± He couldn¡¯t say a word, only his body instinctively pressed her temples tighter. ¡°¡­Besides, you are also struggling and suffering because of your commitment to me. I have seen it. Although it hurts, I¡¯m also a little happy.¡± She smiled slightly. He lowered his head, shook his head, and smiled more bitterly. She leaned over his shoulder, rubbed her eyes, and couldn¡¯t help but yawn again. He whispered: ¡°Very sleepy?¡± ¡°En.. Are you more sleepy than me? Going in and out of the fire is very exhausting.¡± Song Yan was stunned for a moment, only then did he realize that he was tired all over his body, but he had forgotten. She looked up: ¡°Can¡¯t rest tomorrow?¡± ¡°The higher ups will come from above.¡± ¡°I hope that the leader of the task force has a decent style of working, so that tonight¡¯s worries are superfluous.¡± ¡°Hopefully.¡± He laughed and whispered, ¡°Go back and rest early.¡± He had to go. ¡°En.¡± He helped her up and wanted to send her out, Captain Wu of the Liu Ye Tan Squadron walked towards him Xu Qin waved her hand: ¡°You are busy, don¡¯t worry about me. I¡¯ll go back by myself.¡± She turned around and was about to leave, but Song Yan grabbed her hand: ¡°Xu Qin.¡± ¡°En?¡± She was stunned for a moment, ¡°Anything else?¡± He looked at her, his returning gaze firmed: ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I will handle this matter properly.¡± After a second, the old man smiled like an old husband, ¡°¡­ I won¡¯t let you down.¡± ¡°En.¡± Her eyes lit up and she nodded, her eyes full of trust. He suddenly felt that his whole body was revived with blood, he smiled again, and rubbed her head lightly. Xu Qin left. Song Yan glanced at her back, then withdrew his smile and looked at Captain Wu. The latter strode over: ¡°Let¡¯s hurry back. At dawn, the task force from the Seventh Bureau will come. Before that, we have to prepare a detailed statement.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Okay.¡± The two walked through the hall and headed out. Captain Wu was on the verge of collapsing all night, his mood was unstable at the moment: ¡°Song Yan, I have seen the scene, It shouldn¡¯t have burned so badly. I guess you can see it too, so I won¡¯t hide it from you. I only knew that the bar was opened by a rich second generation, and today I understood that someone above took money to look the other way.¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t interject, listening to him finish, ¡°I know the Liu Ye Tan brigade better than you, so I can guess who it is. It stands to reason that if things went wrong like this, no matter what post the person has they have to be dismissed. But if they aren¡¯t dismissed, move to another place and continue to work, then they will continue to kill people. This time I¡¯m fucking not going to let it go, I¡¯ll get to the bottom of this matter, I¡¯ll have nightmares every night, looking at that child¡¯s scorched face.¡± Speaking of this, Captain Wu choked up again, ¡°His parents came here overnight by train, I¡­¡± He turned his head away to wipe his tears. Song Yan: ¡°Don¡¯t be discouraged, the people in the department have come down, and the detachment and the brigade will not dare to make mistakes.¡± ¡°But the background of the captain¡¯s family¡­¡± Captain Wu gritted his teeth, ¡°It¡¯s okay if the leader who comes from above is here for strict investigation; but if he is sloppy-¡° When the man walked to the gate, he swallowed the words. The fire suits on the two were too conspicuous, as soon as they went out, the reporters who were squatting surrounded them: ¡°Are you firefighters from Liu Ye Tan?¡± ¡°What about the comatose firefighters? How many are dead and wounded?¡± ¡°Why did the explosion happen?¡± ¡°Why is the fire uncontrollable, was it ineffective to extinguish?¡± Song Yan blocked the reporter, did not turn his head and walked out of the courtyard, when he threw everyone off and walked out a distance, Captain Wu suddenly stopped: ¡°Song Yan.¡± Song Yan turned his head to look at him, already guessing what he wanted to do. ¡°We can¡¯t go at it too hard. How about¡­¡± Song Yan interrupted: ¡°Those journalists just want to get the exclusive from this disaster.¡± ¡°But public opinion is the best way to go, and it has the greatest power. No matter whether the leaders who come are right or wrong, they will be afraid of this.¡± ¡°Calm down first.¡± Song Yan rejected, ¡°Once some news is released, it can¡¯t be contained. Maybe you want to attack a few people, but in the end, it may be the entire group that is attacked, causing many innocent people to be implicated. Unless it is absolutely necessary, don¡¯t go this way.¡± ¡°If this doesn¡¯t work, and that¡¯s not okay, what should we do then?¡± Song Yan thought for a while, and said, ¡°Although we won¡¯t go this direction, we can still use it.¡± ¡­¡­ At nine o¡¯clock in the morning, the conference room of the Liu Ye Tan Fire Brigade. The leaders of the task force, the captain and political commissar of the Nan City District Fire Detachment, the captains and instructors of the three fire brigades who participated in this fire fighting operation, and the captains and instructors of the three fire squadrons had all arrived. Director Chen, the leader of the task force, sat in the center of the conference room. Three civilians were killed in this fire, and one firefighter was lost, the impact was very bad, and Director Chen did not seem to be in a good mood. The captain of Liu Ye Tan Fire Brigade was going to pour tea for him at first, but Director Chen stopped him lightly: ¡°Don¡¯t dawdle, sit down for the meeting.¡± The accident occurred in the jurisdiction of Liu Ye Tan, the captain of the Liu Ye Tan Fire Brigade first gave a comprehensive overview of the fire, from the time of occurrence, the process of receiving the police¡¯s alerts, the fire fighting operation, and all the way to the casualties. After he finished speaking, Director Chen did not continue to the next item, but asked, ¡°Who is the squadron leader?¡± Captain Wu raised his hand. Director Chen said, ¡°You are the one who directly extinguished the fire, from your own point of view, explain the situation again.¡± The captain¡¯s face changed. Captain Wu¡¯s mood was not as agitated as in the night, his statement was orderly and reasonable, it basically coincided with what the captain had said, but at the end, he mentioned a sentence: ¡°If it weren¡¯t for the correct judgement from Shi Li Tai¡¯s Captain Song, there might not be only one firefighter killed this time, but six or seven. Not to mention the seriously injured.¡± When Commissioner Chen heard this figure, his eyebrows furrowed tightly, he was extremely displeased. If six or seven public officials really died, it would be inevitable to conduct a thorough investigation from top to bottom, and it would be impossible to stop without removing a few important positions. With this frown, the atmosphere in the entire conference room froze. Director Chen asked: ¡°Captain Song of Shi Li Tai, the one who made meritorious contributions in the Wang Xiang earthquake?¡± After scanning around, he found Song Yan. Song Yan bowed his head in greeting. Director Chen¡¯s face softened slightly: ¡°This time, you have made meritorious contributions again. ¡­¡­Preliminary report on the cause of the fire, written, correct?¡± Song Yan: ¡°Written.¡± Director Chen: ¡°Read it.¡± Song Yan¡¯s report did not have the slightest subjective emotion and inference, and was very plain: ¡°The cause of the fire was a circuit design violation, which caused a short circuit.¡± ¡°The reason for the rapid spread of fire was that the building design was substandard from the perspective of fire protection, resulting in an accelerated burning. The overall wiring in the room was not insulated, the material was flammable, and the escape channel was blocked.¡± ¡°The fire eventually exploded and spiraled out of control due to the collective dismantling of smoke and sprinkler devices, causing rapid heating in the confined basement.¡± After he calmly finished, the faces of several captains and instructors on the opposite side turned pale. Song Yan¡¯s face did not change color and put down the report paper. Director Chen immediately slapped the table: ¡°The boss did not comply with the fire regulations, and the fire inspection was not done well!¡± The captain and political commissar of Liu Ye Tan immediately answered and admitted their mistake: ¡°Yes, yes, the people below were negligent, this matter must be investigated. A thorough investigation.¡± Song Yan said lightly: ¡°If the captain wants to investigate, it has to be done quickly, it is best to get a preliminary result today.¡± The captain looked over. Song Yan took out a piece of paper, glanced down, and read: ¡°Some survivors responded, they tried to use the fire extinguisher, but it was broken; and there was no water in the fire hydrant¡­¡± He turned over another piece of paper, and read: ¡°According to the insiders, they revealed that the owner of the bar is a rich second generation, it is suspected that someone gave him the green light.¡± He raised his eyes, ¡°This was what I read on the news this morning.¡± Several people on the opposite side were dumbfounded at the same time. Director Chen¡¯s face became even more solemn. Rumors have begun to circulate in the media on the internet, he saw them before he came. Song Yan said: ¡°Although the media was kicked out when the incident happened yesterday, in today¡¯s society, the news cannot be blocked. The impact of this fire was bad, and the topic of firefighters¡¯ sacrifice will soon be discussed on social media. All of you have witnessed how some public emergencies can get out of control. When the media is curious, the public criticizes, and when public officials respond, even if they make a slight mistake or take a slow step in responding, the situation would quickly deteriorate.¡± ¡°In my opinion, rather than allowing the media to catch up with rumors, and letting the public opinion ferment in an unfavorable direction, leading to being out of control, leading to a decline in credibility, resulting in any information released by the special task force as an ¡®after the fact¡¯, ¡®finding excuse¡¯, ¡®hiding the truth¡¯, ¡®catch the scapegoat¡¯,¡± ¡°It¡¯s better to take responsibility, deal with it, make it public, and cut off the possibility of spreading rumors and gossip before the media digs up gossip and the public opinion ferments. Only by making a decisive decision can we win back our reputation.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just¡­¡± Song Yan slowed down his speech and said, ¡°The eyes of the masses are poisonous, and their mouths are poisonous, they cannot be fooled. Otherwise, the backlash will come back and the end will be even worse.¡± After saying this, there was silence in the conference room. The faces of several group leaders and instructors were as pale as paper. Several leaders of the task force collectively fell into deep thought. It was between choosing to cover up, and eventually someone digging out the gossip, which would lead to a public opinion of betrayal and a crisis of trust; Or choosing to act ruthlessly, cut through the mess quickly, win the praise of the public, and get a good opportunity for meritorious service? This choice was not difficult. Director Chen glanced at Song Yan. This junior¡­ Heh, he was young and had a lot of courage. CH 57 Xu Qin had been following the news of the accident in Liu Ye Tan Bar all day long. She hadn¡¯t contacted Song Yan since they parted at the hospital in the early morning, knowing that the situation on his side was tense. The civilian casualties caused by the fire in the bar originally would not have triggered a large-scale discussion. However, the explosion, the sacrifice of firefighters, and the fact that the owner of the bar was a rich second generation made this matter continue to heat up. On social media, many netizens felt sorry for the dead firefighter, and at the same time questioned why the bar exploded and whether there were loopholes in management and command. Among them were some conspiracy theories, attacking the government and public officials. Xu Qin was not interested in these remarks at all, and only waited for the official announcement. As soon as the news came out, she would know what was going on with Song Yan, whether it was good or bad. But there was still no movement after noon, and she felt too impatient, how could it be that fast. Xiao Nan¡¯s face was also gloomy. She asked for leave in the morning to visit Tong Ming in the Fifth People¡¯s Hospital. When she came back, her eyes were as red as a rabbit. Tong Ming suffered multiple burns and a ruptured spleen. After waking up from a coma, he was in excruciating pain. Xiao Nan was so distressed, when she came back and talked to Xu Qin and the others, tears flowed down her cheeks. But she also looked for the news, and seeing someone questioning why the firefighters went to fight the fire but people still burned to death, and whether it was because the police were too late to rescue them, Xiao Nan was so angry that she burst into tears. Xiao Bei sighed while comforting her: ¡°This relationship you are in, a nurse and a firefighter. Seeing that there are always people in danger, you are always scolded. The degree of hardship can only be compared to a family with a doctor and a policeman. But last time with that aggrieved party I didn¡¯t see you getting this angry.¡± Xiao Nan angrily said, ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if they scold me, it¡¯s not worth it for Tong Ming¡­¡± As she spoke, tears welled up again, ¡°I don¡¯t know what happened with this explosion, but I¡¯m afraid that they will be blamed in the final investigation and they will be injured and blamed¡­¡± Xu Qin said lightly: ¡°Why do you care about those words on the Internet? This matter will develop for the better, don¡¯t worry.¡± After she finished speaking, several nurses looked at each other quietly. Xiao Xi whispered: ¡°Doctor Xu actually comforted someone? Did I hear right?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°If you have time to chat here, put your mind on work.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Xu Qin temporarily put the fire incident to the back of her mind, Song Yan said that he would handle it well and would not disappoint her. She believed it. Today was Friday, tomorrow would be Saturday. But after something like this happened, it was impossible for Song Yan to take a vacation. It was not easy to endure until the weekend, and they couldn¡¯t see each other once again. Xu Qin stood by the faucet to wash her hands and sighed inadvertently. After washing, she took a paper towel to dry her hands, put her hands in her pockets, and walked back to the office. At this moment, the emergency room was not busy, there was even a rare silence. The afternoon sun spilled in from outside the door and spread over the floor. It was rare for the emergency room to be so quiet, so the quarrel ahead was very clear, coming from the diagnosis room of Doctor Dong, who was next door to her. A man roared: ¡°How are you a doctor? I¡¯m in pain now. I told you to prescribe me Dolantin!¡± Xu Qin approached and took a look into the diagnosis room. A man with a thin figure was trembling all over: ¡°Will you prescribe me medicine or not!¡± Doctor Dong was a newly transferred intern doctor with little experience and a thin skin. The other party looked fierce, so she showed some timidity, but still insisted: ¡°I can¡¯t prescribe it for you. I don¡¯t know what your symptoms are¡ª¡± ¡°I told you my head hurts, can¡¯t you understand!¡± The man lost control of his emotions and slammed the table, ¡°Give me Dolantin!¡± Several doctors and nurses followed the noise and walked over. Xu Qin squinted her eyes to observe the impetuous man for a while, then whispered to the nurse who came over: ¡°He has a drug abuse problem, call the security guard.¡± The nurse was taken aback, and hurried to find someone. ¡°Give me Dolantin!¡± the man growled and smashed the table again. Doctor Dong¡¯s face paled: ¡°Calm down! I have to find out what your symptoms are¡ª¡± ¡°Will you give it or not?¡± The man suddenly took out a knife, Doctor Dong screamed and backed away, her feet trembling against the cabinet. The man¡¯s eyes were red, he rushed to look through the drawers in the office, throwing all the paper files out. Seeing the nurse leading the security guard running towards them, Xu Qin put her hands in her pockets and was about to leave. But Dr. Dong panicked, saw Xu Qin at the door, and called for help: ¡°Doctor Xu!¡± The man was addicted to drugs, couldn¡¯t find the medicine, and was about to go crazy, when he turned his head and saw Xu Qin, his expression twitched, and he rushed towards her with a distorted face: ¡°Give me Dolantin!¡± Xu Qin turned and ran. But the other party was too fast, grabbed her shoulders and twisted her back. Xu Qin knew that it would be bad if she was held hostage, so she opened his arm with all her strength. The moment she lifted her hand, she saw the light against the knife flash from the corner of her eye, and her hand passed by the silver light. Xu Qin was startled, a faint chill on her wrist instantly swept across her whole body like an ice spell. The knife cut her right wrist! At the same time, several security guards rushed over and pinned the man to the ground. In the midst of the hustle and bustle, there was a cold reprimand: ¡°Immediately find Director Guo of the Neurology Department!¡± Everyone turned their heads, Xu Qin clutched her bleeding right wrist, her face was pale, and she shouted, ¡°Find Director Guo!¡± When several doctors saw that she had injured her right hand, they were all frightened and ran over immediately. Some made calls, and the others escorted her to the operating room. ¡­¡­ ¡­¡­ Xu Qin lay on the table, with her forehead resting on her left forearm, her face was covered with cold sweat, she didn¡¯t say a single word. Director Guo diagnosed her injury. The wound was not deep and did not hurt the nerves in her hand, so it would not affect her future work. She didn¡¯t know whether it was because she had post-traumatic stress or was frightened, but she refused to use anesthetics. Director Guo allowed it, it was only a minor injury, and the pain would not be unbearable. In fact, if this injury was on another area, it would just be a straightforward cut, but when placed on a surgeon¡¯s wrist, it was unavoidable to be shocked. Director Guo finished treating and explained: ¡°It¡¯s winter now, it¡¯s dry, so it¡¯s not easy to get inflammation. But to be on the safe side, you still have to be careful and take some anti-inflammatory drugs. Don¡¯t get it wet, don¡¯t tear the wound by moving your wrist. Don¡¯t get it infected.¡± Xu Qin nodded, thanked him, and left. As soon as she stepped out the door, she saw Professor Xu Ken sitting on a chair in the corridor with an ashen face, as if he was waiting for her. Xu Qin was stunned for a moment, then slowly realized that the professor must have heard that her hand was injured, so he was too worried and came outside to wait in person. She walked over slowly: ¡°Professor Xu¡ª¡± The professor looked very pale, stood up and walked in the direction of the emergency exit door. Xu Qin braced herself and followed. In the stairwell, As soon as Professor Xu opened his mouth, he reprimanded sharply: ¡°Do you know how important a surgeon¡¯s hand is? You are being irresponsible to yourself!¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t say a word at first, knowing that he was concerned about her, but after, she explained softly: ¡°I usually pay a lot of attention, but this time it was an accident. I was about to leave, but the drug addict saw me.¡± After she finished speaking, she raised her eyes and glanced at him, and seeing that the professor was still angry, she lowered her voice again: ¡°Fortunately, everything is okay.¡± Professor Xu kept a straight face and asked without looking at her, ¡°What did Director Guo say?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a shallow wound, it¡¯s fine. Told me to be careful not to let it get inflamed.¡± ¡°Take a few days off to rest, come back when your hand is healed.¡± Professor Xu was about to leave, but stopped again, ¡°When the evaluation paperwork for the attending physician position needs to be completed, make a trip to the hospital, it should be in the next day or two.¡± Xu Qin was taken aback: ¡°I passed the review?¡± ¡°You deserve it, no need to be surprised.¡± ¡°Professor.¡± Xu Qin stopped him and said briefly, ¡°I know you helped me, thank you.¡± After speaking, she bowed. ¡°It¡¯s not considered helping.¡± Professor Xu said, ¡°It¡¯s rare to find a talent, and the hospital also wants to focus on cultivating it. ¡­Doctor Xu, you have to remember that no matter what line of work you do, the one that can help you in the end is always your own ability.¡± Professor Xu left. Xu Qin stood alone in the stairwell for a while, looking at the gauze on her hand, slowly regaining her strength, and checked the news with her mobile phone. There was still no official news from Song Yan¡¯s side. She took a deep breath, and saw the setting sun shining in from the window, it was red and covered the entire corridor. She walked slowly back to the emergency building in the setting sun. Today, her heart had been lifted up to a tall building, then fell down again, was lifted up again at last, and returned to its original place, beating peacefully and steadily in her chest cavity. She went to the personnel department to ask for an injury leave, and was planning to go to the infusion room to explain to Xiao Xi and the others before she got off work. Knowing that she was fine, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Just as she was about to leave, the TV on the wall started broadcasting the news: ¡°¡­After the fire and explosion on the street of Liu Ye Tan Bar, the Ministry of Public Security urgently set up a fire accident investigation task force to investigate the accident that killed four and injured thirteen overnight. The task force held a press conference this afternoon. In response to the fire, a report was issued to the society, the fire squadron who performed outstandingly in this fire fighting operation was commended, and the family members of the sacrificed firefighters were comforted and compensated. At the same time, the captain and political commissar of the Liu Ye Tan Fire Brigade, who were suspected of dereliction of duty and bribery, and serious violations of discipline during the fire inspection work, will be severely investigated and dealt with, the general public is requested to supervise and report¡­¡­¡± The patients in the infusion room discussed: ¡°Didn¡¯t I say there was something fishy going on, those corrupted officials should be arrested.¡± ¡°This task force has accomplished real things.¡± ¡°They were so fast!¡± On the TV, the host said: ¡°It took only 15 hours from the time the fire broke out to the time when the person responsible was found out and the press conference was held. This government action can be described as vigorous and resolute, and the public is also full of praise. We can¡¯t help but think about whether relevant departments can learn some experience in dealing with emergencies from this case¡­¡­¡± Xiao Nan also breathed a sigh of relief: ¡°Doctor Xu, you were right, things went in a good direction.¡± Xu Qin glanced at the people who were still discussing in the infusion room, bent the corners of her lips very lightly, and left. What he said, will naturally be done. ¡­¡­ At night, the courtyard was quiet. Xu Qin tossed and turned on the bed. After waiting for a long time, the phone still didn¡¯t ring. She knew Song Yan was busy. She knew he had done it when she watched the news, but for some reason, she still wanted to hear his voice and what happened. Waiting and waiting, she fell asleep vaguely. Suddenly, her phone vibrated. She had a thought in her heart, and immediately woke up, it was Song Yan who sent the message: ¡°Sleeping?¡± ¡°No.¡± She replied, her heart still beating rapidly. A few seconds later, he called, and before he could speak, she asked first, ¡°Are you done?¡± ¡°En.¡± His voice was soft, ¡°Why haven¡¯t you slept yet? Did you lie?¡± ¡°I had a feeling you were going to call me tonight.¡± She laughed, her voice a little sandy and soft because she had just been woken up. He chuckled: ¡°Have you seen the news?¡± ¡°En.¡± She nodded, the pillow rustled. He couldn¡¯t help laughing again: ¡°I can¡¯t see you nodding, dummy.¡± She smiled: ¡°You heard me.¡± She turned over and lay on the pillow, ¡°¡­¡­Tell me quickly, how did you convince the leader of the task force?¡± ¡°The leaders also wanted to solve the problem perfectly. I told them that there were disadvantages and hidden dangers in going another way, and then provided a perfect and meritorious solution.¡± Song Yan said, briefly describing the situation at that time. Xu Qin nestled under the quilt, listening to his low-pitched narration, her eyes gradually became blank, as if seeing that scene, she thought for a while, giggled, and said, ¡°You must have been very handsome at that time.¡± He snorted and asked back: ¡°Since when was I not handsome anymore?¡± ¡°Psh!¡± She turned over on the bed and lay flat. Song Yan asked: ¡°What about you, did you meet any disobedient patients today?¡± She shrugged her shoulders: ¡°I met a drug addict, came to ask for Dolantin, and cut my hand with a knife.¡± His tone was slightly apprehensive: ¡°Are you okay?¡± ¡°I¡¯m okay, it was a small cut. I was able to get a vacation.¡± She said. When he heard her voice, he knew that she was all right, but he still warned: ¡°In the future, if you encounter troublemakers, stay away. Do you hear me?¡± ¡°Got it.¡± She said, feeling that his admonishing tone was charming at the moment, her heart was sweet, and she couldn¡¯t help turning over on the pillow. From the very beginning when Song Yan heard her squirming back and forth on the bed, he felt a little unspeakable itch in his heart. At this moment, he finally asked, ¡°Are you lying on your stomach again?¡± ¡°En.¡± She replied, ¡°Lying on your bed with a pillow against it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± He took a long breath, thinking of her lying on his bed in only a pair of panties, and sighed: ¡°I should have been at home at this time with my arms around you.¡± She buried her face in the pillow and smiled for a while. When she remembered something, she became a little more serious and asked, ¡°You haven¡¯t slept all day?¡± ¡°En, I¡¯m so exhausted, I just want to sleep¡­¡± He stretched his waist and said, ¡°I want to sleep with you.¡± She couldn¡¯t hold back her smile: ¡°But I can¡¯t see you this week, we have to wait until next week.¡± ¡°Not necessarily,¡± he said, ¡°We can see each other at work.¡± ¡°It¡¯s better not to see each other at work.¡± She said hastily, ¡°It¡¯s only when something bad happens. Let¡¯s not see each other. Let¡¯s wait safely until the weekend.¡± ¡°Whatever you say.¡± Song Yan said, ¡°However, there will be an earthquake commendation conference on Tuesday, will you go?¡± ¡°Ah, I¡¯ll go to that one.¡± ¡°Tell me which row you¡¯re sitting in then.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes lit up: ¡°Can you come and sit with me?¡± ¡°Of course not.¡± ¡°Then why did you ask me?¡± She snorted. He smiled: ¡°So I can sneak peeks at you.¡± CH 58 On the day of the earthquake rescue commendation meeting, Xu Qin went to the hospital, changed into a white coat, and set off with her colleagues. When they arrived at the hall and got out of the car, several groups of soldiers were marching in line to the venue, the men each held their heads high and walked in unison. Most of the doctors and nurses were women, the team was idle, trotting and chattering, crazy about the handsome men in the team next door. After all, the upper body of the military uniform was tall and straight, with long arms and long legs, they were really heroic. The soldiers didn¡¯t look sideways, but they secretly glanced at the nurses from the corner of their eyes. When the young boys heard the girls¡¯ crisp and melodious laughter, they were more or less yearning for it. The two groups of people entered the venue in very different styles. Two-thirds of the audience seats were allocated to the military. Health workers, journalists and social aid workers made up the remaining one-third. Xu Qin and her colleagues looked for a seat together and glanced at the soldiers. Rows of soldiers sat upright and looked imposing. Xu Qin grew up in the Meng family and could tell the difference in the subtleties of the military uniforms, and soon found the armed police fire brigade, four or five rows behind her. But she was in the left zone, and they were in the central zone. Her gaze crossed the soldier¡¯s faces, and she suddenly saw Song Yan. He sat upright with his back straight, perhaps sensing it, his gaze moved over with no expression on his face, but the next second, he winked at her. She couldn¡¯t help but purse her lips and smile, after she sat down, she looked back at him again, there was no figure to block her view, which was good. This commendation party was broadcast live nationwide during prime time, there was still half an hour before the start, the people in the audience were basically seated. Several presenters dressed in Chinese costumes were on the stage exchanging manuscripts, the staff was busy. The soldier¡¯s area was quiet, and someone from Xu Qin¡¯s side spoke in a low voice. Not long after she sat down, she wanted to go to the bathroom, so she got up to go to the bathroom. When she came out of the bathroom, she ran into Song Yan. He was wearing a military uniform and held a military cap in his hand. She laughed, trotted over a few steps, staring at him with twinkling eyes: ¡°You followed me?¡± ¡°En, I came to see you.¡± He said, ¡°It¡¯s not easy to meet each other.¡± He glanced up and down at her as he spoke. She put her hands in her pockets, feeling uncomfortable: ¡°It¡¯s weird to wear a white coat when not working, but the leader requested us to wear like this.¡± ¡°It¡¯s pretty.¡± Song Yan said, still remembering, ¡°How¡¯s your hand?¡± She raised her wrist to show him that the wound had scabbed over. He held her hand, stroked her wrist with his rough thumb, and didn¡¯t touch the wound: ¡°It should be healed soon.¡± ¡°En.¡± She pursed her lips and smiled, her eyes wandering around him unconsciously. ¡°What are you looking at?¡± ¡°You¡¯re so handsome in a military uniform.¡± Xu Qin said, her fingers touched his military uniform, the rough and hard fabric, very textured, she was reluctant to let go, she touched around, whispered, ¡°Can you wear it home?¡± ¡°Do you like it?¡± He asked in a low voice, his voice a little seductive. She nodded: ¡°I like it.¡± ¡°Good.¡± He whispered in her ear, ¡°I¡¯ll wear it back next time.¡± As she spoke, her fingers hooked the pockets of her white coat and pulled it, ¡°What about you, can you sneak this one back?¡± ¡°I can.¡± She said, her cheeks were hot for some reason. He smiled: ¡°Well, it¡¯s settled.¡± Someone came over from the other side of the bathroom, and he slightly distanced himself from her, withdrew his smile, and said, ¡°Go in.¡± ¡°En.¡± The entrances for the two seats were not at the same place, and Song Yan entered first. Xu Qin walked to another entrance, and a soldier walked over. After rubbing shoulders, he called out, ¡°Doctor Xu?¡± She turned around, it was Lu Jie. She didn¡¯t have a good impression of him, so she nodded expressionlessly. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect to meet here again.¡± Lu Jie was still so hearty, ¡°Song Yan should be here too, but I haven¡¯t seen him yet.¡± Xu Qin was in no mood to talk to him, and said, ¡°The conference is about to start, I¡¯ll go in first.¡± Lu Jie mistakenly thought that she was displeased when she heard Song Yan¡¯s name, so he let it go. The two went their separate ways. But Lu Jie finally couldn¡¯t hold back anymore, and said to her back: ¡°It¡¯s really impossible for you and Song Yan?¡± There was no one else in the outer hall, and the echo was empty. Xu Qin stopped and turned around: ¡°What?¡± Lu Jie smiled suddenly: ¡°I just think it¡¯s a pity that he has loved you for so many years. He entered military school for you, became a special forces soldier for you, so many hardships experienced, why couldn¡¯t you guys be together?¡± Xu Qin was stunned: ¡°He¡­.. What military school, special forces?¡± ¡­¡­ In the venue, the host walked up to the stage: ¡°There are still five minutes left before the start of the conference, please take your seats as soon as possible and do not move around at will.¡± Song Yan glanced at Xu Qin¡¯s seat, which was empty. Ten minutes had passed and she had not yet entered. He couldn¡¯t help but frown. ¡­¡­ Outside the venue, the hall was resplendent and silent. Xu Qin stood alone, her face pale. Lu Jie¡¯s words appeared in front of her eyes like frames of pictures. He said that Song Yan was the hardest and most desperate one in their team. He gritted his teeth and endured the devilish training like carrying weights, launching into the water, and skydiving. He worked hard day and night, performed missions again and again, made meritorious deeds, until the last time, he suddenly became a traitor who betrayed military secrets. Lu Jie said that he always clearly remembered that day, Song Yan was disarmed and dragged away in front of all his teammates, and later he only knew that he had committed a crime that was serious enough to be executed. There was a private way of punishing traitors in the team, and he couldn¡¯t survive the torture. He also said that Song Yan was not that kind of person, but he couldn¡¯t save him, let alone who wanted to put him to death. He always thought that Song Yan was dead. It was not until this year when he met him again in Wang Xiang that he asked that absurd question: ¡°Are you not dead?¡± Xu Qin¡¯s mind circled around those words dumbly, I don¡¯t know who wanted him dead. I don¡¯t know who wanted him dead. Fu Wenying¡¯s mocking smile appeared in front of her eyes: ¡°His name is Song¡­what is it again?¡± Zhai Miao¡¯s accusation in the courtyard half a year ago was also suddenly clear: ¡°It¡¯s not enough that you almost killed my brother!¡± The disgusting and bitter emotions swept up from the limbs and bones little by little, and suddenly overwhelmed the river and the sea, Xu Qin stood on the spot, panting heavily, she turned stiffly and walked out, just as she took a step, the security guard rushed up and grabbed her and pushed her into the arena: ¡°The conference is about to start, why are you dawdling, hurry up go in!¡± Xu Qin was pushed into the venue, the door closed behind her, and her eyes were full of splendor. On the stage, red and green dancers rushed onto the stage, and impassioned music sounded. She stood at the exit of the sound system, trembling all over. She didn¡¯t know where to go. She wanted to go back out of the gate, but Xiao Nan ran over and pulled her back, ¡°Doctor Xu, why are you running around? Go back to your seat, this is a live broadcast!¡± She was forcibly pulled back to her seat and sat down. The music and performance on the stage highlighted the theme of the earthquake and became more tragic. Her eyes were out of focus, her gaze was scattered, she didn¡¯t know where to look. Behind her, Song Yan glanced at her, only the back of her head could be seen. After the opening song and dance, several hosts came to the stage and chanted their praises. Xu Qin sat under the stage, all kinds of emotions were surging in her heart, and she almost wanted to vomit. Recitation, poetry, performance, one show after another, with constant applause, she couldn¡¯t sit still, and every second became extremely tormented. Just when she was about to stand up and run away, she suddenly heard her own name: ¡°Xu Qin, a burn surgeon at the Third Military Hospital¡­¡± She woke up suddenly, the people around her were pushing her. It was her turn, it was time for the commendation session. She and Song Yan had to go on stage. She turned around and saw that Song Yan had gotten up from his seat, the applause was thunderous, she stood up and walked onto the stage. The ceiling lights were on, and her face was pale. Song Yan and her met in the center of the stage, quickly glanced at her, and found that she was a little strange, but standing under everyone¡¯s sight at the moment, he couldn¡¯t say anything. The host introduced to the audience and the live TV audience their touching stories of rescuing the baby. Xu Qin knew the importance and suppressed everything in her heart, when it was her turn to speak, she could still say calmly: ¡°This is what I should do, the duty of a doctor is to save people.¡± But after saying this, she didn¡¯t have much to say, and the host praised: ¡°Dr. Xu is not good with words, she talks less and does more.¡± Xu Qin was taken aback. Talk less, do more, wasn¡¯t this the man in military uniform next to her? Her nose was sore, she couldn¡¯t help it, she just wanted to step down at the moment, but there were still people to commend, the host introduced one by one, and other soldiers came on stage one by one. She and Song Yan stood to the side slightly, and when they retreated to the side, Song Yan asked very lowly: ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Under the weather?¡± She hurriedly made an excuse: ¡°I seem to have eaten something bad.¡± He whispered: ¡°Endure it a little longer, we¡¯ll step down soon.¡± ¡°En.¡± She glanced at his profile. Ever since she came to the stage, she has been afraid to look him in the eye, fearing that she would cry. At this moment, his side face was also quiet and calm, neither showing mountains nor revealing water, not revealing a trace of dark past. Xu Qin blinked her eyes vigorously, reminding herself that she was still on the stage, she was about to look away, but at this moment, she saw Song Yan quickly glance at the other soldiers in the center of the stage, special forces, artillery, PLA, and armored troops. He glanced at their military uniforms, then looked flatly at the audience. Xu Qin suddenly remembered the night when Song Yan looked at the soldiers who walked past him, and the look in his eyes was the same one just now. He was envious. Like a little boy with only paper airplanes, he envied other children¡¯s remote-controlled planes and tanks. She couldn¡¯t hold back any longer, and tears welled up in her eyes like crazy. She quickly turned her head, let the tears flow, and quickly wiped them when it had dripped enough. People in the audience thought that she was touched by the deeds of other people, she didn¡¯t feel different. Finally, the leader came to give the certificate, the crowd applauded, and it was time to step down. Xu Qin did not go down to Song Yan¡¯s side, she quickly walked in the opposite direction. There was also thunderous applause from the audience, and she rushed out of the venue without returning to the audience. She appeared on the streets on a winter night in a white coat, stopped a car, and went straight to the west. It took more than half an hour to reach the compound. The servant came to open the door and said that they were in the tea hall. Xu Qin did not change her shoes, she stepped directly into the doorway, walked quickly through the living room, and entered the tea hall. Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were making tea, and they were a little surprised to see her sudden visit. Fu Wenying didn¡¯t intend to talk to her, but seeing that her face was cold, her feet were still wearing shoes, she frowned: ¡°What are you doing?¡± Xu Qin walked to the tea table, looked down at Fu Wenying, and asked, ¡°Was it you? Was it you who almost killed Song Yan six or seven years ago?¡± Fu Wenying¡¯s face changed suddenly, and she paused for a second: ¡°Who told you that?¡± Xu Qin understood, and a large tear rolled down her cheek. The tea hall was quiet, no one spoke, no one comforted. She wiped the tears from her face and turned her head to look at Meng Huaijin: ¡°Dad, you too?¡± Meng Huaijin¡¯s eyebrows furrowed, but he shook his head again: ¡°Qin Qin, Dad doesn¡¯t know what to say.¡± Fu Wenying: ¡°This matter has nothing to do with your father. He knew later.¡± She downplayed it, had nothing else to say, let alone an apology, no explanation at all. Xu Qin stood there, trembled and waited for a full minute, but no one spoke, as if it was just a trivial matter that could be passed by turning the page. But this time, she couldn¡¯t let it go. She wiped a handful of tears from her face and whispered: ¡°Mom, I¡¯ve always treated you as my own mother, and I¡¯ve never hated you. Even if you objected to me being with Song Yan, hit me, ignored me, even if you meddled in my work, I have never hated you. ¡­¡­I¡¯ve been thinking about taking the initiative to reconcile with you. I¡¯ve always thought it¡¯s just your personality, not that you don¡¯t treat me as a daughter. ¡­¡­¡± When she said this, she took a breath and wanted to continue to speak calmly, but tears flowed uncontrollably, she couldn¡¯t bear it, and cried out in a lost voice: ¡°I¡¯m just a fool. I¡¯m a tool you kept at home for you to marry off. Just because this tool had a human nature and had thoughts about having feelings, started not listening to you, you were afraid that she would break away from your control, so you wanted to destroy her beloved, so that she would never be lured off track by him, so that she would have no more expectations in this life, and obediently be your puppet doll!¡± Her shoulders were shaking from crying, as if she had been betrayed: ¡°You didn¡¯t regard me as your daughter at all? Not at all! ¡­Liar!¡± She looked at Meng Huaijin and burst into tears, ¡°That¡¯s not what you said when you picked me up from the orphanage. You said you would take me home, that you were my father, and that you would love me like a father. You said it! You said it yourself! ¡­Liar, liar!¡± Meng Huaijin¡¯s eyes were wet, his cheeks twitched slightly, and he didn¡¯t say a word. Fu Wenying couldn¡¯t sit still anymore, and said sharply: ¡°How could you talk to your parents like this?! Have all these years of your upbringing been in vain?! How can any parent be perfect?! You clearly remember only the bad, and you have completely forgotten all the good. Who raised you all these years, who took care of you when you were sick, who helped you out when you were bullied? You have lived with this family for so many years, just for this one thing, for this man, you would deny everything your parents have done, break it off with your parents? I¡¯m not a perfect mother, but are you a perfect daughter?!¡± Her voice was so harsh, Xu Qin stopped suddenly, the venting in her head just now was cut off in the middle, her mind was suddenly blank, leaving only barrenness. She looked at her blankly, her face mottled with tears. Meng Huaijin sighed heavily, lowered his head and held his hand to support his forehead. Fu Wenying said coldly: ¡°Qin Qin, what I have done, I will not deny it. But you should also think about it, you think I disappoint you, but as a daughter, did you not also disappoint me!¡± ¡°Hypocrite.¡± Xu Qin said suddenly. ¡°What did you say about me?¡± ¡°Hypocrite. I let you down? It¡¯s just that I fell in love with him. You say he is not worthy of me, what qualifications do you have? To be able to do such a thing, what qualifications do you have? You consider yourself noble, but regard a person¡¯s life as an ant, and secretly plot his murder. What qualifications do you have to say that he is not worthy? You are the one who is not worthy. You are not even worthy of saying that you are a ¡®good person¡¯!¡± Fu Wenying turned livid and stood up: ¡°If you dare to say one more thing, I¡ª¡± ¡°Come kill me!¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes were red, ¡°If I¡¯m no longer obedient, come kill me!¡± Fu Wenying was stunned for a moment, not knowing that a child who never knew how to resist would be like this. Xu Qin gasped violently, and said word by word: ¡°I will not pursue what he suffered at the beginning, and half the life he lost. From now on, I have nothing to do with you. I am warning you, don¡¯t hurt him again. Yes, in your eyes, I have nothing, but I will die for him.¡± After she finished speaking, she turned around and left, but when she looked up, she saw a family portrait hanging on the wall. In the photo, Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were sitting on a bench, and she and Meng Yanchen were standing on both sides. The family looked happy. Looking at the picture, tears flowed like a gate again, she suddenly bent down, and burst into tears. Her thin body trembled from top to bottom. Meng Huaijin saw her stop and got up: ¡°Qin Qin¡ª¡ª¡± But in the next second, Xu Qin rushed forward, grabbed the photo frame, tore it off and smashed it to the ground. With a loud bang, the wooden frame broke and the glass shattered. She cried convulsively, and hurried out the door. There was a sudden dead silence in the house. Meng Huaijin covered his eyes and sat down slumped. Fu Wenying stood in place, pursed her lips tightly, her chest rose and fell violently, she restrained herself with all her strength, and was about to sit down slowly, but she was suddenly startled, her whole body felt cold¡ª¡ª Meng Yanchen stood on the steps at the other end of the living room, his face pale. CH 59 Late at night, Meng family mansion. Meng Yanchen stood on the steps of the living room, looking in the direction where Xu Qin disappeared, his expression dead. Fu Wenying¡¯s body trembled for a moment, before she stabilized her emotions: ¡°Yanchen, when did you come back?¡± Meng Huaijin heard this and raised his head in amazement. Meng Yanchen looked at his parents and did not speak. He was so quiet that they were flustered. Fu Wenying walked towards him: ¡°Yanchen, you listen to your mother¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°Hypocrite.¡± Meng Yanchen said. Fu Wenying¡¯s cheeks twitched, she instantly regained her composure: ¡°What did you say to your parents? What about your upbringing?!¡± She thought that Meng Yanchen would also refute, vent, get angry, and quarrel with her. But no. The living room was quiet, Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t say a word, just looked at her so quietly, as if watching his life¡¯s beliefs and principles collapse silently at that moment. Upbringing? How well they taught him to be a upright gentleman. He thought they were noble too. Upbringing? His upbringing made him genuinely respected and be filial to them from childhood. It was also his upbringing that prevented him from overcoming the hurdle of incest and being unable to get close to the person they regarded as their own daughter. No matter how painful it was for him, he couldn¡¯t bear to hurt them and bring shame to them. In the end, all these years of suffering was just a joke. And what about him, He didn¡¯t even have the desire to vent, he didn¡¯t even have the desire to burst, finally on this day, the shackles were broken, and he lost forever the girl he could have fought for and protected. At this moment, standing in the home where he grew up. He looked at them and smiled very shallowly, a smile that was shockingly bleak. He turned and walked out. Fu Wenying¡¯s heart rose sharply with inexplicable panic, as if she had a sense of foreboding: ¡°You stop right there!¡± She took a breath, ¡°I¡¯m talking to you!¡± ¡°I¡¯m going out.¡± Meng Yanchen calmly said. ¡°Don¡¯t go out today. Meng Yanchen, you¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°Mom,¡± he turned to look at her, ¡°look at me.¡± He took a step forward and looked down at her: ¡°Mom, look at my face. This is your son. These years, he has lived a life of death every day. Can¡¯t you see it at all?¡± Fu Wenying looked at him in shock, tears filled her eyes in an instant, red, but she endured it. ¡°You can¡¯t see it.¡± Meng Yanchen said. He left. Fu Wenying shed half a tear and stood for half a moment, wanting to catch up: ¡°Yanchen¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°Enough!¡± Meng Huaijin stood up, ¡°Don¡¯t force him anymore! Must you drive the children crazy to be satisfied?!¡± Fu Wenying took a few deep breaths, turned around, and recovered that perfect expression: ¡°Rules are rules. I did not do well in that matter back then, but Meng Huaijin, who did I do this for? For you, for the Meng family. You have your face, and I will do the dirty work. But you are not qualified to lecture me here!¡± Meng Huaijin: ¡°I was against what Qin Qin did at the beginning. But they had already separated, that child, why did you have to get rid of him?¡± ¡°Because the Meng family doesn¡¯t allow those who want to climb high. Back then, his mother wanted to rely on you to become a noble wife, you were so fascinated that you almost defected from the family. Now her son is still here to continue the disaster!¡± Meng Huaijin was stunned: ¡°You¡ª¡ª¡± Fu Wenying finally tore off her usual calm mask, and said sharply, ¡°You think I don¡¯t know about the shit you did before I married into the Meng family?! You wanted to break off the engagement to me for her sake!¡± Meng Huaijin choked, he slowly sat down, for a long time, he shook his head, sighed: ¡°Wenying, I have had no feelings for that woman for a long time, you this¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°Yeah, she ran off to be Jiang Kecun¡¯s mistress, could you still have feelings for her? What kind of good thing can a son of that kind of vulgar woman who only knew how to sell herself for glory be? It is absolutely impossible for me to accept such a woman as family!¡± After Fu Wenying finished speaking, she squatted down and picked up the smashed photo frame from the ground, she pulled out the huge photograph, shook off the glass fragments on it, and took it to the table to spread. Meng Huaijin originally wanted to say more, but it was obvious from her appearance. Nothing was said after all. ¡­¡­ On Shi¡¯an Street, the road was empty and the street lights were bright. Xu Qin sat crookedly in the taxi with an empty expression. Just now she wailed loudly in the back seat, but now she was quiet, not a single tear could come out, her mind was empty, only exhaustion remained. She leaned against the window for an unknown amount of time, remembering to take her mobile phone to look, missed calls and text messages were all from Song Yan, an hour ago: ¡°Where did you go?¡± The party ended at twelve o¡¯clock at night, and it was now eleven fifty-five, the auditorium was in front. Xu Qin asked the driver for a bottle of water and got out of the car. She ran to the roadside greenery to unscrew the water bottle and wash the tear stains from her face. When washing her eyes, she remembered Song Yan again. He didn¡¯t say a word about what her parents did to him. Perhaps he was too stubborn and crazy, always thinking that it was an unbearable and a humiliating defeat for men; perhaps he loved her too much and was reluctant to let her feel guilty in her heart; perhaps he was too proud to let her approach him because of this; or maybe he didn¡¯t have the heart to let her be disappointed in her parents¡­ Whatever the reason was, he didn¡¯t want to mention it, and she would pretend not to know. Almost on the verge of tears again, she tried to hold back. After washing her face, she wiped the sleeve of her white coat, threw the bottle in the trash, and ran into the venue. Just as the meeting ended, she ran to the exit on Song Yan¡¯s side, and saw tall men in military uniforms pouring out in groups. She stood on tiptoe and stretched her neck but couldn¡¯t see every face clearly, many people glanced at her and hurried passed. She was in a hurry, dialed his number, no one answered, the phone was silent. Just as she was about to drill into the crowd, she was suddenly pulled aside by a hand: ¡°What are you looking for?¡± Xu Qin looked up, and immediately threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly. Song Yan was obviously stunned for a moment, and looked back, the soldiers who walked by looked at them curiously. Song Yan held the military hat in one hand, gently supported her back with the other, turned around slightly, blocked the sight from the outside with his back, circled her against the wall, looked down and asked, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± She didn¡¯t say anything, just hugged him tightly, not letting go like a child. Song Yan gently stroked her back: ¡°Is your stomach still uncomfortable?¡± She shook her head: ¡°When will you be home?¡± I miss you so much.¡± His heart suddenly softened, he was speechless, he lowered his head, and gently pecked her temples. She suddenly wanted to cry again, but she cried too much today, even if her eyes were sore at the moment, there were no tears to shed. The crowd behind him surged and he wrapped her in his arms, after a long time, he asked, ¡°Did something happen?¡± She was startled for a moment, annoyed at herself for behaving abnormally, that he was going to find out, she quickly thought of a reason, and raised her head: ¡°Oh, it¡¯s nothing. Xiao Yixiao was in a bad mood for some reason, and called me to chat.¡± As expected, Song Yan was successfully distracted, and looked at her with a slightly darker gaze, and said, ¡°How long have you been chatting?¡± ¡°Just talked for a while.¡± She whispered, ¡°He¡¯s probably having relationship trouble lately.¡± He put a little more force on his hand, and she pressed into him tighter all of a sudden, smelling the faint scent of laundry powder on his military uniform. Song Yan asked: ¡°Why does he want to talk to you when his relationship is not going well?¡­ Hey, it seems that I have to have a good chat with him.¡± Xu Qin secretly called out that lying was really dangerous, so she hurriedly said: ¡°Next time, we won¡¯t discuss anymore, we won¡¯t discuss anymore.¡± ¡°Be good, otherwise I¡¯ll deal with you.¡± He glanced at her lightly, not taking it to heart. He looked back, there were fewer and fewer people appearing behind him, they were about to line up. She understood, but was still a little reluctant: ¡°You have to go?¡± ¡°En.¡± He put his military cap on his head and asked again, ¡°Is your stomach really feeling alright?¡± ¡°I¡¯m good. It was only for a bit.¡± Looking at his unusually handsome face under the military cap, she couldn¡¯t help hugging him tightly again, ¡°It¡¯s the weekend, you should go home early.¡± She rubbed his chest and didn¡¯t let go. She was extremely clingy today, and he had already noticed it. He just didn¡¯t know if she was not feeling well, or she was becoming more and more dependent on him psychologically. He was silent for a long moment and said, ¡°Wait for me.¡± He walked away. After she stood for a while, he came back, took her hand, and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go home.¡± She was stunned: ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to the assembly?¡± ¡°Took time off. Tomorrow the second team is on duty, and the training matter has been handed over to Suo Jun.¡± She was still stunned: ¡°This¡­¡± He smiled: ¡°I rarely took a leave of absence in these past two or three years, it¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°But you¡­¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you wanted me to go home?¡± He looked down at her, ¡°Telling a lie?¡± Xu Qin immediately shook her head and squeezed his hand. Shouldn¡¯t have gone back to the venue today. The more he spoiled her and indulged her, the more her heart ached. On the way back, she leaned on his shoulder to sleep, without saying a word all the way, as if she was tired. Song Yan looked at her from time to time and did not bother. Halfway through, he remembered what happened backstage at the commendation meeting. He got off the stage with the certificate and was looking for Xu Qin, but he ran into Director Chen who was presenting the award to the next batch of soldiers, and was asked if he would like to join the Ministry of Public Security, asked him to think about it first, and don¡¯t rush to reply. When she kept asking him when he would be home just now, he was going to tell her. But thinking about it, Director Chen¡¯s offer was just a suggestion, what exactly was the job, whether it was appropriate, was still unknown. At present, there were two promotion paths in front of him, he needed to weigh the pros and cons¡­ So he held off and didn¡¯t mention it. After returning home, Xu Qin took advantage of the gap between Song Yan going to take a bath, and quickly collected her emotions, she resolutely would not let him find out. But when she took out her phone, she saw a missed call, it was Meng Huaijin. There was also a text message: ¡°Qin Qin, Dad wants to find a time to talk to you. How about tomorrow?¡± Xu Qin looked at the phone screen, and felt pain in her heart, but finally replied: ¡°Let¡¯s talk about it later.¡± Now she didn¡¯t know how to face them, and she didn¡¯t want to. Just thinking about it, the heart-piercing pain would spread throughout her body. She was in too much pain, and she didn¡¯t want to delve into their feelings for her anymore, she didn¡¯t want to tear up who owed whom, and she didn¡¯t want to hate them for hurting Song Yan anymore. Whether she was avoiding or being unfilial, she didn¡¯t want to see them now. The text message replied: ¡°Okay, when you want to talk, then talk to Dad.¡± Xu Qin immediately threw the phone away, tears streaming down her face. The sound of the bathroom door opening came from outside, she quickly wiped away her tears, turned off the room light, ran to the bed and patted the pillow to lie down. Song Yan entered the room and went to bed. She turned her back to him without turning around, and he took her into his arms from behind. Xu Qin slightly panicked in her heart, not knowing if he would have sex with her next, she was completely out of the state now, afraid of being discovered. But he didn¡¯t do anything else, he just stroked her stomach with his ironed palm. After a long time, when he seemed to be about to fall asleep, he asked vaguely, ¡°Are you comfortable?¡± ¡°En.¡± There was no discomfort in her stomach. ¡°Xu Qin.¡± He suddenly spoke. ¡°En?¡± ¡°Wait a little longer, I¡¯ll be home every day soon. Trust me.¡± He was mistaken. He thought she kept asking him to go home early tonight because she was worried about his promotion. She couldn¡¯t explain it, she could only close her eyes and let the tears slip down. They fell asleep. In the middle of the night, her mobile phone suddenly vibrated one after another. Xu Qin woke up suddenly, Song Yan also woke up, breathing heavily, squinting and touching Xu Qin¡¯s mobile phone. The screen showed three o¡¯clock at night, it was Xiao Yixiao. Song Yan¡¯s expression did not show anything, and he handed the phone to Xu Qin. When she saw the caller ID, her head exploded: ¡°Xiao Yixiao, you¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°Meng Yanchen had an accident.¡± Xiao Yixiao¡¯s tone was very heavy, ¡°Get up quickly, I¡¯ll pick you up at the intersection of Wu Fang Street.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Xu Qin sat up suddenly, ¡°Tell me first if he¡¯s injured?!¡± Song Yan was quiet for a second and turned on the lamp. ¡°He¡¯s fine. He¡¯s at the Ba Yan Qiao Police Precinct. Come out first, I¡¯ll talk to you in the car!¡± Xu Qin hung up the phone and immediately got out of bed: ¡°Something happened to Meng Yanchen, I have to go and see.¡± Song Yan lifted the quilt: ¡°I¡¯ll go with you.¡± Xu Qin was stunned, thought for a second, and did not refuse. The night was silent. Xiao Yixiao¡¯s car stopped at the intersection, and when he saw Song Yan, he didn¡¯t say much. Xu Qin got into the car and asked, ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Xiao Yixiao tossed the phone to the back row: ¡°See for yourself.¡± It was a post on the forum, the title was like an eye-catching post on a vulgar website: ¡°Relay repost: I was raped by X third generation, I want to call the police, and their family wants to kill me. (Evil forces continue to delete posts, netizens relay to turn)¡° Xu Qin¡¯s mind was confused. The person involved was called ¡°Ye Zi¡±, claimed to be a college student, was brought into a KTV by friends, and met the X third generation. The other party was gentle, elegant and talented. She fell in love with him at first sight and tried to get close to him. He was also interested in her, and the two gradually got to know each other. But after getting along, she found that his mind was not on her, so she resolutely left him. She didn¡¯t want to offend the other party, but she was brutally raped. The post vividly described her girlish feelings and humbleness when she got along with him, then the miserable mood and disillusionment of being raped, and then the panic and fear of being threatened by his family. The headlines were terrifying, the content was sensational, and the number of clicks and replies remained high. Xu Qin couldn¡¯t believe it: ¡°This¡­ talks about Meng Yanchen?¡± Xiao Yixiao¡¯s face was livid: ¡°He has been locked up since the incident, your parents just found out, how could they have the time to threaten that bitch!¡± Xiao Yixiao had never scolded a woman in his life, he was really anxious. This post had all kinds of conditions that were easy to spread, and it would sweep major websites by tomorrow morning. ¡°I can¡¯t delete it all, it¡¯s like lighting a fire. Those shitty netizens don¡¯t know anything and just fucking stir up trouble in there.¡± Xu Qin trembled lightly and did not speak. Song Yan took her into his arms and hugged her tightly. The two of them couldn¡¯t calm down, but Song Yan was the most composed, and asked lightly: ¡°Could it be that someone has a feud with the Meng family, and started with him.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Xiao Yixiao scratched his head vigorously, ¡°Now the entire Meng family is in shock. The point is¡­Meng Yanchen must have gone crazy, he refuses to see anyone, doesn¡¯t want to see his parents and uncles, he just wants to see Qin Qin.¡± Xu Qin was stunned. Song Yan pursed his lips and did not answer. ¡°Qin, you should persuade him later to speak earlier. If it drags on like this, nothing good will come out of it, and when public opinion turns white into black, he will be ruined!¡± Xiao Yixiao gritted his teeth, ¡°Meng Yanchen¡¯s fucking brain is flooded or something! The director of Ba Yan Qiao was bought by his father. If he told the police who he was when he was arrested, at least he could keep an eye on the crazy woman in time and take away her cell phone first. But no, he didn¡¯t say a word, he¡¯s locked up as a rapist.¡± ¡°Is he going crazy?!¡± m a e m: hehe surprise! we¡¯ve decided to speed up some of the schedule as the drama is now confirmed also, now that we have the drama episodes as well, you have something to concentrate on instead of being left on a cliffhanger. although we would all have read the book, please do be careful about either book or drama spoilers as we discuss and drool CH 60 When Xu Qin rushed to the Public Security Bureau, Meng Huaijin, Fu Wenying, and several uncles, aunts, cousins, and nephews of the Meng family were all there. When Fu Wenying saw Song Yan, her expression changed, and she refused to go forward. Second aunt came over to Xu Qin¡¯s side and explained: ¡°Qin Qin, go and talk to your brother properly, this matter can¡¯t be played around. Aunt watched him grow up, everyone in the family knows what kind of child he is. If someone is harming him or framing him, you tell him to tell his family, we will stand by him and help him solve it. But he has to speak up. He has to speak out if he has any grievances. You tell him not to be afraid, ah, no matter how big of a problem it is, we will bear it for him.¡± Meng Huaijin looked haggard and said, ¡°Qin Qin, tell him, if there¡¯s anything going on, let¡¯s take care of it back home. Don¡¯t ruin your own future.¡± Second aunt said again: ¡°This crime is not good. Besides, grandpa is old. If the old man finds out, he will be so sad, won¡¯t he?¡± Xu Qin could only nod her head. The police took Xu Qin and the others to the interrogation room, and when they were almost at the door, Song Yan stopped. Xu Qin looked back at him in surprise. Song Yan said, ¡°I won¡¯t go in.¡± They were all men, who would be willing to show others their down-and-out appearance, let alone to a rival. ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin¡¯s eyes were slightly apologetic. Song Yan watched her go in, pursed his lips tightly, and let out a deep breath through his nose. If he said he wasn¡¯t jealous, that would be a lie. ¡­¡­ In the interrogation room, Meng Yanchen leaned back on a chair and looked up at the ceiling slightly. There was a bruise on his cheekbone, his clothes were messy, and there were dust like shoe prints on them. Xu Qin looked at the police and said coldly, ¡°Did you beat him?¡± Meng Yanchen moved his eyes over and stared at her. It hadn¡¯t been long since he had sobered up, his eyes were red. ¡°No. He attacked the police when he was arrested.¡± The policeman glanced at the monitor in the corner, gestured in that direction, and went out. There were only two people left in the room. Xu Qin went to sit down opposite him: ¡°Does it hurt?¡± Meng Yanchen nodded slightly. Xu Qin had nothing to say, sat for a while, and said in a flat tone: ¡°Cooperate with the police investigation, it will not be good for you if you continue this way.¡± Meng Yanchen asked back: ¡°You won¡¯t go home again?¡± Xu Qin was taken aback, and asked: ¡°At that time¡­¡­were you at home?¡± ¡°En.¡± She was silent for a long time, expressionless, but lightly scratched the table with her fingers: ¡°Although mom and dad were wrong, you don¡¯t need to use this kind of method to hurt their hearts.¡± He shook his head dispiritedly: ¡°I¡¯m not. I just don¡¯t want to do anything.¡± She heard something strange: ¡°What is the truth of the matter, can you explain it to the police?¡± Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t speak, but looked at Xu Qin¡¯s fingers with red eyes. Her expression was calm, but her fingers picked harder: ¡°¡­¡­Maybe some of mom and dad¡¯s actions have disappointed you, but there are no perfect people in the first place, and it is very harsh to ask them not to make a mistake in their whole lives.¡± She didn¡¯t know if he was listening or not, he looked at her thin fingers, and suddenly asked, ¡°Where is Song Yan?¡± Her fingers relaxed: ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Where is Song Yan?¡± ¡°At the fire brigade.¡± She didn¡¯t tell the truth. ¡°Oh.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you hate our family?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± She asked lightly, and unconsciously picked the table. ¡°Hate our family for ruining Song Yan¡¯s future and almost killing him.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Now is not the time to talk about this.¡± Meng Yanchen was silent for a while, and asked: ¡°Qin Qin, if he wasn¡¯t around, would you still like me now?¡± Xu Qin didn¡¯t make a sound, her lowered eyes froze for a moment, and she raised her eyes to look at him: ¡°Maybe I would. ¡­¡­But, it would be very painful.¡± ¡°When I liked you before, it was very painful.¡± She said quietly, ¡°I was always guessing whether you really liked me or was taking care of your sister. But it doesn¡¯t matter, we wouldn¡¯t be together anyways. I couldn¡¯t make that first step, you couldn¡¯t either.¡± She said: ¡°Without Song Yan, maybe I would still like you now; but without Song Yan, we would still be in the current situation. Maybe each of us would go on blind dates and get married obediently.¡± He smiled bleakly: ¡°Really?¡± She nodded very lightly: ¡°You asked me before, since I can be with him, why can¡¯t I be with you.¡± ¡°Meng Yanchen, I will only be with him. Because over the years, I haven¡¯t made any progress. I only know how to stand still, and even retreat again and again, regretting, being timid, doubting¡­¡­ If it were someone else, I would have given up a long time ago. But he has always been so resolute, refused to let go, and walked towards me again and again.¡± ¡°So, I will only be with him.¡± After Meng Yanchen finished listening, mist formed in his eyes, and he raised his head to look at the ceiling: ¡°In the past ten years, it¡¯s me who hasn¡¯t made any progress. If I really tried my best to be with you, neither you nor I would be in the situation we are in today.¡± ¡°No.¡± Xu Qin shook her head, ¡°You are too kind-hearted. You can¡¯t do something that shames the whole family. Neither can I. It¡¯s not your fault.¡± Meng Yanchen looked at the sky without speaking, only his pale lips trembled slightly, and a line of tears slid down his temple. ¡°Meng Yanchen, let it go, okay? Live for yourself, okay?¡± ¡­¡­ Song Yan walked to the office hall, passed the corridor, and saw Xiao Yixiao leaning against the wall and looking in one direction coldly. A group of college students gathered at a desk in a corner. The police were reprimanding: ¡°You guys are doing this wrong. Before the truth has even been found, you are posting on the Internet. Are you trying to engage in cyber violence? Great, now you can¡¯t take it back even if you wanted to!¡± A girl retorted: ¡°It¡¯s rape. The other party¡¯s backing is so strong, if you don¡¯t send it online to find people to support, what if it becomes ¡®voluntary¡¯ by force?¡± The policeman said: ¡°Why don¡¯t you believe in the legal system? All of you are students of University A. Where did you learn to do this?¡± A boy said: ¡°Because we are students of University A, don¡¯t try to use your money and power to solve this matter. If we made a mistake, we will definitely publish it in the newspaper and admit it. But you should investigate the case fairly and impartially first. If our classmate was really wronged, no matter how strong his background is, we will fight to the end!¡± ¡°Yes.¡± The students shouted, ¡°Fight to the end!¡± Song Yan frowned slightly: ¡°Why are there so many people?¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°It¡¯s all students from University A, they are hard to deal with.¡± ¡°Found each other last-minute?¡± ¡°No. The police said that this group are all from the University A Student Union. It¡¯s going to be winter vacation soon, and they went to a KTV party before leaving school. Halfway, the woman went out for a while, but she didn¡¯t return for a long time, and then she said she was raped. The students called the police. After Meng Yanchen was arrested, he kept silent and had no ID on him, so he was delayed for a long time. As a result, these students wrote articles and posted them, and found alumni to spread them, resulting in the current behavior.¡± Song Yan asked: ¡°There were no security cameras at the KTV?¡± ¡°None indoors.¡± Xiao Yixiao said, ¡°There were in the hallways. Meng Yanchen went alone, and went to the bathroom on the way, probably drunk. When he came back, he met that woman, and the woman took him back into the room. What happened in the room depends entirely on the woman¡¯s side of the story.¡± Song Yan asked again: ¡°Has the girl had a physical examination?¡± Xiao Yixiao: ¡°That¡¯s the issue. She had a slight pinch mark on her body, and she said that she used a condom so there¡¯s no evidence. Now she is still being contradictory and refuses to do further examination. Just delaying.¡± Song Yan looked at the group of students, surrounding the victimized girl, a figure flashed by, and when he saw her face, he felt she looked familiar. It was Ye Zi who entered the police station with Zhai Miao last time. Song Yan frowned instantly, went to the window, and made a phone call. After it rang for a while, Zhai Miao picked it up with a sleepy tone: ¡°What is it so late?¡± ¡°Where are you hiding, get over here immediately!¡± Zhai Miao was wronged: ¡°Ge, what are you talking about in the middle of the night?¡± ¡°Zhai Miao, don¡¯t make me angry.¡± Song Yan said. There was a moment of silence, she gritted her teeth and said, ¡°I¡¯m in the stairwell.¡± ¡­¡­ Xu Qin came out of the interrogation room and followed Xiao Yixiao back to her family. Meng Huaijin: ¡°Qin Qin, what did Yanchen say?¡± ¡°The police went in to interrogate him.¡± Xu Qin said, ¡°He said he didn¡¯t do anything, and that woman framed him.¡± Although everyone believed in Meng Yanchen, they held their chests and let out a long sigh of relief when they heard the exact words. ¡°He said that although he drank too much alcohol, he was still conscious. He didn¡¯t do anything to Ye Zi. Instead¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin paused and said, ¡°That woman wanted to do something, but he drove her away. ¡° Fu Wenying¡¯s face turned cold, and she turned around to find the group of students. Meng Yanchen¡¯s third cousin stopped immediately: ¡°Fourth aunt, you can¡¯t go. Those students are very rowdy and hostile to us. If you go, won¡¯t you be threatening them?¡± Several juniors also said: ¡°That¡¯s right, don¡¯t go yet. Since Uncle Yanchen didn¡¯t do it, the police will definitely investigate and find the truth.¡± ¡°I¡¯m afraid it will be too late by the time they find out.¡± Third uncle frowned and said worriedly, ¡°Now there is no solid evidence to clear his innocence, and the investigation will take some time. But it has been spread like that on the Internet, and I¡¯m afraid that once the police will finally investigate clearly, in everyone¡¯s opinion, that is also the result of covering up.¡± Now things were tricky. If this was an ordinary person, he could wait for the investigation with peace of mind. But the Meng family couldn¡¯t wait, damage to their reputation was a big deal. ¡°No matter what, the post can¡¯t be deleted anymore. The more you delete it, the worse it will be.¡± Third uncle said, ¡°We have to find a way to tell everyone the truth in the most credible way. Go find more people who investigate, and hurry to find witnesses and evidence. There will definitely be evidence, we must find it as soon as possible!¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Xu Qin took a look at Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying¡¯s anxious looks at the moment, and hurriedly looked away. Soon she realized that she hadn¡¯t seen Song Yan since she came out just now. She didn¡¯t know where he went. ¡­¡­ In the stairwell, Zhai Miao was sitting on the steps playing with her mobile phone. Behind her, the security door was pushed open, her hairs stood on end, and she turned her head immediately. Song Yan walked in, let go, and the security door closed. He took the next step and looked down at her: ¡°What are you doing here?¡± ¡°When I saw you coming, I hid. What else can I do?¡± Zhai Miao glanced behind him, ¡°Where is my Qin jie, didn¡¯t follow you, ¡­¡­went to cheat on you?¡± Song Yan: ¡°You¡¯re fucking talking nonsense.¡± Zhai Miao rolled her eyes: ¡°You have such a big heart, sending her to meet your rival.¡± Song Yan ignored her and asked: ¡°What happened tonight?¡± Hearing his tone, Zhai Miao was immediately upset: ¡°Hey, you¡¯re not suspecting that the post was my idea?¡± Song Yan snorted: ¡°You are not that lacking in virtue.¡± Zhai Miao rolled her eyes again. Song Yan: ¡°Speak!¡± Zhai Miao: ¡°Ye Zi said she was bullied, crying, and said that Meng Yanchen had a lot of backing, everyone got angry. She said she wanted to post, and the group was quite happy. Anyway, I didn¡¯t participate, and I didn¡¯t stop it. Came to watch the drama.¡± Song Yan listened to her, took out a cigarette, lit it, leaned on the armrest, and asked, ¡°What happened between her and Meng Yanchen, tonight?¡± ¡°How would I know?¡± Zhai Miao turned to her phone. ¡°Why are you hanging out with this girl again?¡± ¡°She is also in the student union, and the president asked everyone to get together. What can I do, just be air. Anyway, I haven¡¯t talked to her since the last time.¡± Song Yan exhaled a puff of smoke and looked at her through the green mist: ¡°Zhai Miao, you are acting strange today.¡± Zhai Miao grabbed her phone tightly: ¡°What?¡± Song Yan squatted down and looked at her from a close distance: ¡°You didn¡¯t mentioned this rape case from the very beginning, and you didn¡¯t make any comments or show emotions. Instead, you were anxious to separate yourself from this matter.¡± Zhai Miao was taken aback for a moment, secretly shouted that she couldn¡¯t hide from his gaze, and was about to speak. Song Yan raised his finger holding the cigarette, and signaled her to shut up: ¡°I believe that you have nothing to do with this matter. But why do I feel¡­you know something?¡± Zhai Miao remained motionless, staring at him. Song Yan judged from her expression: ¡°You know Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t rape Ye Zi.¡± Zhai Miao¡¯s eyes widened: ¡°I don¡¯t know! How would I know?!¡± Song Yan didn¡¯t have the heart to argue with her, and his face changed: ¡°Since you didn¡¯t bother to get tangled with Ye Zi, why don¡¯t you tell the truth?¡± ¡°What¡¯s the truth? I didn¡¯t harm him, I have a clear conscience.¡± Zhai Miao said, ¡°They made a fuss about writing posts and reposting them. I didn¡¯t say a word, and I didn¡¯t participate. I didn¡¯t even contribute by clicking on the comments.¡± ¡°But you know that¡¯s not the case. With how smart you are, I guess you still have some evidence on your hands.¡± Song Yan looked her seriously, and said, ¡°You¡¯ve been playing with your phone here, so you should know that the situation is tense. If you keep delaying, Meng Yanchen will be finished.¡± Zhai Miao said with a cold face: ¡°No matter how he¡¯s finished, he will still be in a position a hundred times better than you, it¡¯s not up to you to worry about that!¡± Song Yan was quiet for a moment, knowing what she was thinking, lowered his voice, and said: ¡°If you just hate the Meng family, Zhai Miao, there¡¯s no need.¡± He looked at her, ¡°What happened in the past, doesn¡¯t matter anymore. Don¡¯t put on a show of your bad temper, if you have evidence, come out with me.¡± He put out his cigarette, got up and left, and as soon as he got to the security door, Zhai Miao stood up abruptly: ¡°Why doesn¡¯t the past matter?¡± ¡°I ask you, why doesn¡¯t it matter?¡± Zhai Miao questioned him, her voice a little choked, ¡°If I finished high school and went to sell socks on the Skyway Bridge for ten years, and then told you that I was admitted to University A, someone ruined my grades, I should have been a CEO on Financial Street, can you still be okay?¡± Song Yan held the doorknob and stopped. ¡°Did you know? Once you went to school to deliver clothes to me. My classmate asked, Zhai Miao, that man is so handsome and stylish. Can you introduce him, what does he do? I said you were a firefighter. Do you know how they answered? ¡­¡­Oh.¡± ¡°Ge, does it really not matter to you anymore?¡± ¡°They ruined the youngest and best ten years of your life! Everything you did was in vain! You were almost tortured to death, did you forget?¡± ¡°When the news came that you were going to be executed for a felony and that we wouldn¡¯t even get to bring your body back, my mother almost went blind from crying, and she couldn¡¯t find any connections. It was my father who went to kneel in front of the person he hated the most to beg for your life!¡± ¡°¡­¡­They bully people too much, they bully people too much!¡± With red eyes, Zhai Miao said fiercely, ¡°Don¡¯t pretend in front of me here, you say it doesn¡¯t matter anymore, you say you don¡¯t hate them. If it really doesn¡¯t matter anymore, when Xu Qin came to you for the first time last year, why did you drive her away? If it really doesn¡¯t matter, what are you doing with so many books at home? What are you working so hard for?¡± ¡°If you¡¯ve really let it go, it really doesn¡¯t matter, then our family members wouldn¡¯t have not dared to mention that matter for so many years!¡± ¡°We¡¯re afraid of hurting your self-esteem!¡± ¡°You forgave them now because of Xu Qin, that¡¯s your business. I won¡¯t forgive them, absolutely not!¡± After she finished venting, the corridor was deadly quiet. She was so angry that her whole body was shaking violently, but Song Yan¡¯s back was unusually silent. ¡°Zhai Miao,¡± Song Yan stood with his back to her for a while, and said: ¡°No matter how unwilling you are, time will never come back.¡± m a e m: my heart CH 61 ¡°Time can¡¯t come back, but the hurt is still there.¡± Zhai Miao said, ¡°Ge, how could you forgive them so easily?¡± Song Yan smiled very faintly: ¡°Zhai Miao, you are wrong, I did not forgive them. To the point of, I don¡¯t want them to apologize at all, because even if they apologize, I will not forgive them.¡± Zhai Miao was stunned. ¡°However, I don¡¯t have any grievances, and I don¡¯t even have the intention to take revenge.¡± Song Yan looked at her and said calmly, ¡°I¡¯m not asking you to save anyone, but to do something that should be done. No thank yous, no apologies need to be exchanged.¡± ¡°As for me, I¡¯m living a good life like this now, and the future will only be better. As for the past, it¡¯s over, there¡¯s no need to remember it.¡± Zhai Miao stood there for a long time without saying a word. At the end, she wiped her eyes carelessly, and said angrily: ¡°If you say it¡¯s fine then it¡¯s fine, I¡¯m not the one who wasted ten years.¡± She walked over and pulled the security door, ¡°I will hand over the evidence, but before that, don¡¯t bother me about what I¡¯m going to do.¡± She was about to pull the door, but Song Yan pressed down on the handle, knowing that he couldn¡¯t stop her, so he just said: ¡°No matter what you want to do, remember one thing, I will marry Xu Qin, she is your sister-in-law.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t need to explain this to me.¡± Zhai Miao glared at him. Song Yan bent his lower lip lightly and let go. Zhai Miao opened the door and rushed out, but unexpectedly saw a figure flashing around the corner. ¡­¡­ Zhai Miao walked all the way to the Meng family¡¯s side, but did not see Fu Wenying and Meng Huaijin, the elders were not there, only a few juniors. Xu Qin was surprised: ¡°Why are you here?¡± Zhai Miao said: ¡°I¡¯m here with my classmates, by the way, where are your parents?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I just went over there to talk about things.¡± Looking behind Zhai Miao, ¡°Here they are.¡± Zhai Miao turned her head and saw that Fu Wenying, Meng Huaijin and several elders came back. Zhai Miao took a step forward, second aunt had already recognized her, and asked politely: ¡°You¡¯re one of those students, right? Coming here now¡­¡­what conditions do you want to talk about?¡± Zhai Miao said: ¡°Auntie, it¡¯s like this. My classmates were deceived by Ye Zi and believed her lies. But I saw the truth with my own eyes. Meng Yanchen didn¡¯t take advantage of Ye Zi at all. It was Ye Zi who wanted to take the opportunity to do something, but was driven away by him. Maybe she was angry, so she framed him. She really did have sex with someone, but it wasn¡¯t Meng Yanchen. But, I saw it all, and even took pictures with my mobile phone. ¡­¡­Look.¡± She opened the phone album, which was full of photos and short videos. Everyone immediately felt amnesty, and Fu Wenying was about to step forward. Zhai Miao put away her phone and didn¡¯t beat around the bush: ¡°I won¡¯t help you so easily.¡± The elders all knew that if she wanted to help, she would have handed it over to the police from the beginning, and there was no need to wait until now. Fu Wenying knew that she was Song Yan¡¯s younger cousin, so her expression was not very good: ¡°What do you want?¡± Second aunt stepped forward and discussed in a low voice: ¡°If you want a reward, you can state your price.¡± ¡°Thank you auntie, but I can earn money in the future, so I don¡¯t need to ask you for it.¡± Zhai Miao looked at Fu Wenying, ¡°I want to talk to this auntie¡­¡­¡± With a quick glance, she judged that Meng Huaijin beside her was her husband, ¡°and this uncle alone.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Fu Wenying answered. Xu Qin was a little puzzled, and was about to step forward when Zhai Miao said, ¡°Qin jie, this matter has nothing to do with you, you can stay here.¡± ¡­¡­ The three of them went to the end of the corridor. Fu Wenying looked at her watch. It was already five o¡¯clock in the morning. She was worried about Meng Yanchen, and she was anxious, but she didn¡¯t show it. Her tone couldn¡¯t be called kind, but she was not hostile either: ¡°Just say what you want.¡± Meng Huaijin also said calmly: ¡°Let¡¯s have a good talk and resolve the matter as soon as possible.¡± Zhai Miao looked at the two of them: ¡°Uncle and aunt are so good-tempered, I thought you would scold me first. It seems¡ª it was really you who eavesdropped on me and my ge outside the door just now.¡± Meng Huaijin looked a little stiff, lowered his head slightly, and said in shame: ¡°We just passed by on accident. What happened back then¡ª¡± He said this, a little sad, and nodded vigorously, ¡°It was indeed our family who made a mistake. If we can compensate, feel free to speak up.¡± Zhai Miao fell silent suddenly. Even if she was eloquent, she had nothing to say. She instantly understood what Song Yan¡¯s words meant. He didn¡¯t want apologies, and he didn¡¯t want to make up, because it was useless. Not useful at all. Too powerless. At this moment, she was even more aggrieved, like a huge stone suddenly got stuck in her heart. Since there would be no forgiveness, an apology was just another wound. And the many words she had prepared to scold them with could not be said for a while. It was no different than punching cotton. She was quiet and didn¡¯t speak for a long time. Fu Wenying couldn¡¯t wait any longer, and said: ¡°If you want to take revenge, come after me, Meng Yanchen is innocent. You don¡¯t know him, but he is a very good boy. Now your classmate deliberately distorted the truth and framed him, and let him be called a rapist. As a parent, how I feel right now¡­¡­¡± ¡°How can I not understand your feelings?¡± Zhai Miao said softly, ¡°Auntie, when you framed my brother, did you ever think about how his family was feeling? Your emotions for just a few hours, our family experienced for half a month. You framed a soldier for treason, which is much more serious than someone else framing your son for rape. One is going to jail, the other is a capital crime. ¡­¡­You stabbed me ten times, I gave you a slap, can this be called revenge?¡± Fu Wenying¡¯s face turned pale. This was karmic retribution. ¡°My parents, my brother, are kind-hearted. They didn¡¯t even think about telling Meng Yanchen and Xu Qin your true colors. If it were me, I would have exposed it long ago! They won¡¯t pursue it, but I can¡¯t swallow it.¡± The two were startled, and when they learned that they didn¡¯t know that Meng Yanchen and Xu Qin hadn¡¯t known about it, their faces became even more bleak. Fu Wenying took a breath, lowered her voice, and asked, ¡°However you want to resolve this, I will cooperate. As long as you can¡ª¡± She glanced at her phone. There was no sense of punishment on Zhai Miao¡¯s face. She was silent for a second, and said: ¡°My father kneeled down before. Auntie, if you really want to apologize, just return that kneel.¡± Meng Huaijin and Fu Wenying were startled at the same time: ¡°This¡ª¡± Zhai Miao said quietly: ¡°I¡¯m not very old, I¡¯m afraid my lifespan will be shortened. But if it¡¯s to represent my ge, my family, even if it¡¯s ten years I can afford it.¡± Fu Wenying stared at her, pursed her lips tightly, her face slowly turned red with shame, but she didn¡¯t say a single unnecessary word, she nodded, and was about to kneel down; Meng Huaijin stopped her abruptly, his expression was very steady and calm, caressing the back of her hand, he didn¡¯t know whether to comfort or feel sorry for his wife, he said, ¡°I¡¯ll do it.¡± As he spoke, he bent his knees. ¡°No!¡± Fu Wenying sobbed, tears welled up in her eyes, she hugged him tightly, refusing to let him kneel down, she hurriedly went to kneel¡ª¡ª ¡°Okay!¡± Zhai Miao said suddenly, and stretched out her mobile phone in front of them, ¡°Take it.¡± Fu Wenying was shocked, there were still tears in her eyes. Zhai Miao said: ¡°Xu Qin is my sister-in-law, and you are her parents. If I really accepted this kneel, how can she get along with me in the future?¡± She didn¡¯t look at them, and put the mobile phone in their hands coldly: ¡°Give it to the police.¡± Meng Huaijin nodded immediately: ¡°Thank you¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯t thank me. After picking up this phone, you promise me one condition.¡± Zhai Miao said, ¡°My brother and my sister-in-law will definitely be together. If you object, it¡¯s up to you, and I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡°But if one day you accept him as a son-in-law, everyone will have to become part of one family. Then¡ª¡ª¡± ¡°In this lifetime, you are not allowed to mention the past in front of my brother, and you are absolutely not allowed to apologize to him.¡± ¡­¡­ The evidence was handed over, and the case ushered in a turning point. The group of students from the University A Student Union learned the truth, and were very angry at Ye Zi¡¯s behavior. They felt their good intentions had been taken advantage of, and were both angry and regretful about posting things, feeling very guilty. They were severely reprimanded by the police, and hurried to clarify and apologize, and promised to follow what they said before, ¡°If they wronged a good person, they would publish an apology in the newspaper.¡± The police were also putting together the evidence, trying to clear Meng Yanchen¡¯s name as soon as possible. As for Ye Zi, she was under criminal detention on suspicion of defamation, false accusation, and other crimes. The specific sentencing would have to wait for later evidence collection and trial. Everyone got busy, Meng Yanchen was still getting his statement taken. Song Yan went to the hall to look for Xu Qin. She was sitting in the corner, leaning on the back of the chair, he wondered what she was thinking. Seeing him, her eyes lit up, and she sat up a little bit straighter: ¡°Where did you go just now?¡± ¡°Went over there to smoke a few cigarettes.¡± Song Yan sat down beside her. Xu Qin took advantage of the situation and leaned on his shoulder, a little tired, sighed, and said to herself: ¡°Fortunately, the matter is resolved, this evening was like a nightmare.¡± Song Yan glanced down at her head on his shoulder and said: ¡°Don¡¯t blame Zhai Miao for not showing the proof immediately.¡± Xu Qin was taken aback: ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°She is ignorant, and has a childish temper. Maybe it was because your parents objected to us being together, and she was upset, so she made a fuss.¡± ¡°No. How could I blame her? Everyone in the family is grateful to her.¡± Xu Qin said, feeling pain in her heart. She could guess the reason why Zhai Miao refused to share the evidence for so long. Song Yan glanced at his watch, it was half past five. ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he said, standing up. She didn¡¯t react in time, she raised her head: ¡°Go? Go where?¡± Song Yan glanced at her lightly: ¡°What? Waiting for Meng Yanchen to come out to comfort him for a while? Or give him a warm hug?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± The hairs on Xu Qin¡¯s back stood up all of a sudden, and she shook her head immediately: ¡°No. It¡¯s all settled, nothing left to do with me.¡± She quickly got up and took his arm, ¡°Take me home.¡± Song Yan: ¡°Why are you holding on so tightly?¡± Xu Qin: ¡°I feel that if I don¡¯t hold onto you tight enough, you¡¯re going to leave me behind here.¡± Song Yan walked out, the corners of his mouth slightly hooked upwards. After leaving the public security compound, the sky had still not lightened, but there was faint white. The night passed like this. ¡°Sleepy?¡± Song Yan asked in a low voice. Beside him, Xu Qin didn¡¯t answer, with a blank expression. She was still thinking about what had just happened. Now it seems that during the time when Song Yan disappeared, he must have gone to persuade Zhai Miao. She didn¡¯t know what the two cousins talked about, but they must have brought up the past and exposed his scars. And it must be for her that he had let go of the past. She was a little sad, lowered her head and rubbed her eyes. Without saying a word, Song Yan untied her hand and walked aside. She froze for a moment, then looked up at him, not knowing why. Song Yan took out the cigarette and lighter, lit the cigarette, and turned to look at her sideways: ¡°You¡¯re out of your mind, still thinking about what happened inside?¡± He pointed to the public security building with his chin. Xu Qin opened her mouth, not knowing how to answer. She couldn¡¯t tell the truth, and couldn¡¯t tell lies. Song Yan squinted his eyes and looked at her for a few seconds, his expression was not very good, he slowly exhaled a puff of smoke, and said: ¡°I¡¯ll give you ten minutes.¡± Xu Qin: ¡°Ah?¡± Song Yan: ¡°I¡¯ll give you ten minutes to feel bad. After ten minutes, if you¡¯re still thinking about it, I will get angry.¡± Xu Qin stared slightly, and for some reason, suddenly burst out laughing: ¡°Are you jealous?¡± Song Yan frowned: ¡°Bullshit!¡± She couldn¡¯t stop, giggled, and rushed towards him. He avoided the cigarette in his hand, she hugged him and looked up: ¡°Don¡¯t need ten minutes, just ten seconds.¡± Song Yan grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her away from her body: ¡°Go aside.¡± She took a step back, looked at him with a smile, and began to count: ¡°One, two, three, four, five, six seven eight nine ten! Okay!¡± She threw herself forward with open arms and hugged him tightly. She bumped into him and shook him. He ignored it, he wasn¡¯t that easy to coax, and he still had the same indifferent look on his face. Xu Qin stood on tiptoe and raised her neck to kiss him, but Song Yan turned his face away. She jumped up to kiss, he frowned and hid, she kissed his chin, sideways. She kept jumping up and down, pecking his cheeks with her soft lips. Finally, he couldn¡¯t take it anymore, threw the cigarette, grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the tree, lowered his head to kiss her lips, sucked and bit her hard, with all his strength. She shrank her neck in pain and whimpered. He didn¡¯t let go, he pressed her against the tree trunk, and kissed her more and more violently, as if he wanted to melt her and suck her into his body to show his dominance towards her. His breath was ironed and sprayed on her cheeks, she was obsessed with his breath, her whole body was numb, and she was about to melt, obviously the root of her tongue hurt from being sucked, but she couldn¡¯t help but get closer to him, her fingers subconsciously grasped him tighter, and her lips also submissively catered to him, hooking his lips and his tongue. Bewitched, there was only one consciousness left in her mind: she belonged to him, and only to him. ¡°Woo¡ª¡± she groaned softly in her intoxication. He slowly let go of her lips and looked down at her. She looked at him, panting slightly, her eyes were moist and clear, her small lips were red and swollen. Song Yan stroked her lips gently with his thumb, and said: ¡°Yes, I am jealous. ¡­¡­Next time, you dare make me jealous again.¡± CH 62 In the early morning of a winter day, the sky slowly brightened. The road outside Nancheng District Third High School was quiet and empty. It was past six o¡¯clock in the morning, the canteen opposite the school hadn¡¯t even opened yet, and the small cart selling breakfast was still missing. The mist was hazy, and the trees on both sides of the road were bare. Occasionally, a few birds jumped on them, shaking the branches, then returning to stillness. Song Yan pulled Xu Qin along and ran across the middle of the road, the mist he exhaled was scattered in the wind like balls of cotton wool. The Ba Yan Qiao Public Security Bureau was close to their high school, so the two ran along the empty street. It was very quiet in the school, even the gatekeeper was still asleep. Song Yan brought Xu Qin with him and ran along the curb to the courtyard wall. Xu Qin grabbed the railing and climbed up. Song Yan supported her legs and buttocks, and protected her while she climbed up slowly. At one point, she had to test whether her feet could reach the crossbar, at another point, she had to choose where to step next to be able to bear her force. At another point, she had to listen to his instructions ¡°step here, grab there¡±. She moved clumsily, and managed to turn over onto the other side of the railing, the way down was even more difficult. ¡°Be careful.¡± Song Yan whispered. ¡°En.¡± Xu Qin slowly lowered her center of gravity, hugged the thin rod, and slid down like a little raccoon. She breathed a sigh of relief, she was sweating from all the climbing up and down. She was about to wait for Song Yan, he was on the other side. He took a few steps back, suddenly sped up, jumped up, stepped on the railing of the fence in two or three steps, flew over from above, and landed. Xu Qin: ¡°¡­¡­¡± Song Yan patted the dust off his hands, and looked at her: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Xu Qin shook her head immediately. She suddenly remembered that it was the same when she was a teenager. He and his group of friends gathered around the railing, looked up and pointed, protected her clumsy, uncoordinated self while climbing over the wall, and waited for her to slowly land. That group of teenagers huffed and slid across the railing one by one like the wind blowing leaves. He patted the dust off her clothes again: ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± ¡°Thinking about the time when we were in high school.¡± Xu Qin took his hand, ¡°Where is that group of people, are they still in contact with you?¡± ¡°We got together last month, while I was on break after the earthquake.¡± ¡°How are they doing now?¡± ¡°They are all doing pretty well.¡± Song Yan said. Xu Qin pursed her lips and stopped asking further. She turned her head and found that the campus was not much different from ten years ago. The stone pavilion, playground, steps, bamboo forest, and teaching building were the same as in her recollections, the only change was that it was probably a bit more dilapidated than in her memories. Walking around the bamboo forest and going up the steps, they entered the teaching building. The aged feeling became more and more obvious, the paint was peeled off on the handrail, the stairs were potholed and cracked, the plaster was mottled on the walls, and the green paint on the corners were faded. Even the air was filled with a slightly rotten smell. Xu Qin thought, she didn¡¯t come for ten years, the building grew old here alone. The fourth floor was their classroom. Xu Qin looked in from the window. The tables and chairs were not neatly arranged, and there were still chemistry problems on the blackboard. While she watched, Song Yan pried the window open in two or three tries, turned over into the classroom, and opened the classroom door. Xu Qin¡¯s eyes lit up, she rushed in, looked around, feeling a little emotional: ¡°Why does the classroom feel so small, the tables and chairs are also small.¡± She turned and sat on the seat in the first row, looking left and right excitedly. ¡°Do you still remember your seat?¡± Song Yan asked. ¡°It¡¯s been so many years, how can I remember? Besides, I recall having my seat changed.¡± Song Yan walked to the second row of the first group, stepped over the chair with his long legs, sat at the window seat, and said: ¡°When the first year of high school began, you sat here.¡± As he spoke, he looked out the window. The eastern sky had already revealed the morning glow, there were faint sounds of birds singing in the botanical garden, but the campus was still quiet. Everything was peaceful. She followed and leaned over: ¡°Let me sit.¡± He got up and stepped out into the aisle. Xu Qin scuttled over and sat down, looking around, as if feeling something: ¡°Ooh, I have some recollection, I have sat here before.¡± She turned her head, ¡°I remember your seat was at the back.¡± Song Yan smiled, walked to the last row of the second group, pulled out a chair and sat down. He looked at Xu Qin, she gave him a bright smile, then turned to look out the window. Since entering school, she had been very happy. Presumably the years of staying here were good memories for her. Song Yan couldn¡¯t help curling his lips. He sat in his seat for a long time, looking at her from the distance of a classroom away. Memories came to mind inadvertently and clearly. In those years of high school, he looked at her from a distance like this; every class was like this, as if he would never get tired of watching her. Obviously he had a very noisy personality, but looking at her could make him quiet for a long time. It was also in this narrow aisle in front of him, she passed under his eyelids with her schoolbag in her arms and her head lowered. She was clearly just passing by, but she walked into his heart. Why is she the one he likes? She¡¯s the only one he likes. He liked her softness and fragility when she was bullied, liked her loneliness and pity when she was excluded, liked her dependence when she obediently walked over and held the corner of his clothes, as if he was the only one in the world who could protect her and that she could cling to. It seemed that only at that time, did he really exist, truly exist in this world. It was as if he had never really existed before meeting her. When Song Yan was a child, he only had a father and no mother. In his memory, his father was a very handsome man, but he was an alcoholic and violent. When he was drunk, he would be caught and beaten, scolding his mother with dirty words; when he was sober, he hugged him and cried bitterly, apologizing. Song Yan had never hated him, the child¡¯s subconscious could distinguish between cause and effect. He knew that his father was just a poor man who was abandoned by his wife and whose self-esteem had been crushed to pieces. He could also understand what adults would say, and knew that his mother had gone to be a mistress for a rich man, so no matter how violent his drunk father was, he never hated him, but just felt sorry for him. Father and son lived like this until one night when Song Yan was seven years old, his father came home drunk, fell down and hit his head on a stone. When Song Yan opened the door and saw him the next day, the poor man was already frozen and stiff. Little Song Yan pushed him and called his father a few times, but he didn¡¯t respond. The little child walked a long way to knock on the door of his uncle¡¯s house and said: ¡°My father is dead, please help me collect him, I can¡¯t move him.¡± Later, he was taken in by his uncle, and he was shielded from all the grievances from his parents¡¯ generation. But no matter how they tried to hide it, children would devise every possible method to eavesdrop. It turned out that his mother had already given birth to another child long ago, but that child had regarded the legitimate wife as his mother since young, had never met her, nor did he know of her existence. But even with this kind of treatment, she refused to come back. She lived in a villa like a canary. When he was ten years old, Song Yan secretly went to find his mother. He collected information bit by bit and found her house. When he went there, there was no one at home. He waited outside for a long time, and when he was about to fall asleep, there was the sound of a car. It was the first time he saw his mother, she was even more beautiful and mature than in photos, leaning into the arms of a stranger, her body was soft like a snake. He stood on the side of the road watching, like a homeless child. The couple passed by without noticing him. But the woman turned her head, gave him a brief look, and disappeared into the house. Without any reason, he was sure, sure she knew who he was. But she didn¡¯t take a second glance at him. He turned and walked away, spitting at the car as he walked. He never went to find her again. For a long, long time later, Song Yan felt that he was a dispensable person in this world, not needed by anyone, nor wanted by anyone, just like his useless father. No, he was more pitiful than his father, and even more dispensable. At least he still needed his father, but his father didn¡¯t need him, not to mention his mother. Even when he was in rebellious adolescence, because of his handsome appearance, there were more girls around him, he felt a deep sense of disgust, and something that his arrogant self would never have admitted at that time ¨C a vague fear. His father was equally handsome, but look how that turned out. He would also turn out the same way, because he had nothing. Until that day, through the window, he saw a thin girl with her head bowed and her schoolbag in her arms entering the classroom, timidly passing by before his eyes. There seemed to be a ray of light flashing by his heart. If it was said that when he wrote the name ¡°Song Yan¡± on the school uniform and handed it to her to wear, it was just his wishful thinking to declare his protection and possession of her, Then when she returned the ink-stained school uniform to him and asked him to re-sign it, she acknowledged his protection and conquest of her. It was at that moment that he was trapped in by her. The bond that bound the two became two-way. And the bright hole in his heart was getting bigger and bigger, it was no longer controllable. ¡°Song Yan, I¡¯m afraid of falling.¡± You have to support me. ¡°Song Yan, I can¡¯t move anymore.¡± Carry me on your back. ¡°Song Yan, I¡¯m cold.¡± Hug me. ¡°Song Yan, I¡¯m a little sad.¡± Come coax me. ¡°Song Yan, that boy touched my hand.¡± Go hit him. ¡°Song Yan, I can¡¯t do it alone.¡± I need you to accompany me. ¡°Song Yan, hurry up and sneak me out.¡± I just want to be with you, no one else. ¡°Song Yan¡­¡­¡± She fussed about in different ways, as if she lacked something in her heart, constantly wanting to prove something from his actions, whether it was to prove her importance to him or his love for her. She seemed to be insatiable, and kept asking for it from him. And he was fully benefitting, responding to her again and again, giving her everything she wanted. The more she relied on him, the more she trusted him, the more she needed him, the more he was trapped in it, unable to extricate himself. The unknown side she showed in front of him was something that only he could enjoy exclusively. Only he could make her happy, set her free. And that fact, in turn, made him extraordinarily content and stable. The two children, who seem completely different to outsiders, had lived inseparably for three years like this. The empty hole in his heart was filled little by little. Until the day of the break up, he was emptied all at once, as if the childhood nightmare imposed on him by his parents was repeated again. Song Yan¡¯s thoughts stopped immediately. He lowered his eyes, looked at the traces of the knife scratches on the desk, and pursed his lips slightly. There was no need to mention that time of parting anymore, fortunately, even though the journey was difficult and bumpy, they had now reunited. He sensed something and looked up. On the other side of the classroom, Xu Qin was leaning on the desk, looking at him with a smile, her eyes sparkling: ¡°Are you in a daze? I¡¯ve been watching you for a long time.¡± Her smile soothed everything with ease. ¡°En¡ª¡± he touched his nose, ¡°I¡¯m thinking about work.¡± He lied a little, and quickly changed the subject: ¡°Have you ever gone back to school after graduation?¡± Xu Qin shook her head: ¡°What about you?¡± He just smiled and didn¡¯t answer. He had been here many times, each time was in the early morning or at night, or during winter and summer vacations, avoiding the students going to school every time. In the huge campus, he would be alone, wandering alone. Watching the grass and trees on the playground wither and turn yellow, watching the walls of the teaching building gradually mottle, watching the stone bricks on the steps slowly form cracks¡­¡­ For more than ten years, the school had been a quiet and lonely city for him, filled with countless memories about him and her, aging silently in time, but not fading away. Day after day, it stubbornly waited for those who had lost their memories to come and look for it. A ray of sunlight pierced through the mist and shone on Xu Qin¡¯s hair. She squinted her eyes and blocked the light with her palm: ¡°Ah, the sun is out.¡± She asked: ¡°Do we need to leave? The students will be here soon.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s play for another two minutes.¡± Song Yan said, got up and walked to the podium, and wiped the corner of the blackboard with a blackboard eraser. Xu Qin was curious, and followed him: ¡°What are you doing, are you writing?¡± ¡°En.¡± He took out a piece of chalk from the chalk box and turned to write on the blackboard. Xu Qin stretched her neck to look, and just saw the word ¡°Xu¡±, Song Yan covered her eyes with one hand: ¡°Go write on the side!¡± ¡°Petty!¡± Xu Qin snorted, deliberately distanced herself from him, and took the blackboard eraser to wipe the other corner. After wiping, she patted the dust on her hands, and reached for the chalk in the box. The moment her fingertips touched the bottom of the box, she was completely frozen. She still didn¡¯t quite believe it, she lowered her head slowly, there was no chalk on her finger, but a silver ring was hooked on it. Fine dust couldn¡¯t hide the sparkle of diamonds. There was a thought in her mind, in an instant there was no sound at all, only the sound of her shallow breathing in the golden sunlight. The sun had risen, the sunlight shone through the bright windows and filled the classroom from ten years ago. Dozens of empty tables and chairs reflect the morning light. It was here, back then, the boy sitting in the last row curled his lips and looked at the girl sitting by the window. Xu Qin¡¯s heart was beating wildly, she looked back at Song Yan in a daze. He lowered his head slightly and wrote on the blackboard. The white chalk swiped vigorously at the end of a stroke to draw a completed period. On the blackboard was written: ¡°Xu Qin, marry me.¡± Song Yan put down the chalk, looked at her sideways, and gazed at her seriously. After a while, he smiled slowly. That smile seemed to have traveled through thousands of mountains and rivers, and said: ¡°Xu Qin, give me a home.¡±