《Thank You For Being Trash》 Chapter 0 Chapter 0 ¨C Prologue [ Arne looked at Distria with resentful eyes. Now, he couldn¡¯t stand it at all. He decided to give up holding on. ¡°Are you satisfied now? I will destroy you as you wish.¡± Arne¡¯s face was messed up with tears, but even that was beautiful. Distria, who gazed at the stained figure with greedy eyes, eagerly accepted the last attack. ( Skip ) ¡°Slurp, slurp.¡± Arne¡¯s vivid eyes were already cloudy, making it difficult to recognize the colors. She was busy sucking hard, not knowing what she was biting. He then grabbed Arne¡¯s hair with a big hand and gazed down at her with satisfied eyes. Wherever the appearance of rejecting him went, he was satisfied with her wanting him like this. ¡°Spread your legs out and lie down.¡± At that, Arne pulled his genitals out of her mouth. It was a face full of regret. She quickly lay on the desk and spread her legs as if she had forgotten the word shame. Her eyes lit up as she was eager for him to insert his manhood inside her as soon as possible. ¡°Well done.¡± He stroked Arne¡¯s hair as he touched her already moist entrance with his hand to confirm it before pushing his member in without hesitation. ¡°Kuh¡­¡± ¡°Hah¡­ Hahng¡ª!¡± A groan filled with joy erupted from Arne¡¯s mouth. She didn¡¯t know who was coveting or who was receiving now. When he just touches her, she gets wet, and she just rejoices in the pleasure that rushes over. She was already going insane¡­ Just like Distria wanted. She, who had been gifted, was already broken. Flower of Destruction Fin. ] As I read the last chapter of a novel I enjoyed reading non-stop, this was how the story ended. I let out a sigh of excitement. ¡®Thank you for your diligence until the end of the series. I enjoyed it¡­¡¯ Is it because I read a novel full of love affairs? Should I do it since my body is full of heat¡­? Though since it was late at night, I decided to go to sleep instead That night, the tomorrow that I thought would come, never came, and a strange thing happened¡­ Only the empty horizon stretched out wide. It was a strange and bizarre feeling. It felt like all the hairs on my body stood up, and all my senses were open. For a moment, I shut and opened my eyes for an unknown reason, and repeated meaningless movements such as clenching and stretching my hand. Soon, a swarm of lights burst out, and a woman with splendid golden hair and green eyes appeared before my eyes. There were light scars on her wrists and legs, and all of her clothes were ragged. Nevertheless, the woman¡¯s beauty was splendid. At the unfamiliar first impression that I had seen the woman somewhere, I slowly raised my hand and rubbed my eyes. Then, as I started at the woman, she looked at me and smiled brightly before bursting into tears all of a sudden. It looked a bit bizarre to see her smiling and crying, so I took a step back without realizing it. ¡°Sorry¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I don¡¯t want to live like that anymore.¡± ¡°Can you explain to me what the situation is?¡± Glancing at the woman who was squatting on the floor and weeping, I carefully opened my mouth. The shaking shoulders of the woman, who had been crying pitifully, slowly subsided, and she looked up at me as if she had calmed down. I squatted down to her gaze. ¡°I am Arne. I am the last king of the little Sorano Kingdom.¡± I could not hide the surprise at the familiar name I had seen many times. ¡°Isn¡¯t that kingdom going to perish¡­? Sorano von Arne?¡± Arne¡¯s eyes flickered. She looked up at me blankly, as if embarrassed by me knowing her. I shook my head at the ominous foreboding that was gradually taking shape. Is it a dream because the situation is so unrealistic? Although I had a stupid thought, the sensation was too vivid to be called a dream. After a brief moment of surprise, I eventually came to my senses and decided to sort this situation out. ¡°What is this¡­ What happened?¡± Hesitated, Arne looked me in the eye and spoke up. There was a hint of regret for me in her eyes. ¡°I will enter your body, and you will enter my body. We change souls with each other. The world you will live in from now on is Sorano before the tragedy happened to me. Nothing will harm you.¡± I couldn¡¯t say anything to her as she stared at me with guilty eyes, despite her request, which would probably be considered shameless. Besides, I had no idea what to say. ¡°What exactly is the tragedy¡­?¡± ¡°That¡­ The kingdom is destroyed, and I¡­¡± Even if Arne didn¡¯t say it, I knew what she was talking about. I blamed myself for my indifference. She closed her eyes tightly as if it was difficult to speak, and her lips were closed. It was hard to see her figure anymore, so I waved my hand and stopped her from trying to get something out. I knew her. And, I knew about her tragedy. Still, the reason she brought up the tragedy was that she wanted to deceive others of her own unhappiness. Above all else, this woman¡¯s misfortune had nothing to do with me. ¡°Does our body change no matter what?¡± ¡°¡­That¡¯s not it. This space is maintained for the life of my soul. If you do not accept it, you return to the world you were in. I will stay in this space until the end of my life.¡± ¡°Why are you telling me that?¡± ¡°No matter how much I run away, I don¡¯t want you to be unhappy the first time I see you. Above all else, if it¡¯s not there¡­ I am satisfied with this.¡± When the story was over, Arne started to sniffle again. Whether it was true that she was satisfied with this, there was a sense of relief in her eyes. I gazed at her and opened my mouth. ¡°I will accept it.¡± She was surprisingly consistent even after going through such a thing. To think of others first even after experiencing such misery¡­ After all, it was a life full of pleasure. Even in Korea, I grew up as an orphan and had no ties to others, and even if I had changed, no one would have noticed. ¡°What¡­?¡± ¡°I accept the offer. I don¡¯t know what kind of life you¡¯ll live in my body, but I want you to be as happy as you were unhappy.¡± Tears that had stopped flowing from Arne¡¯s eyes fell. Even though she was sad, she looked happy. She kept her head down, saying thank you. At the next moment, my head felt like it was going to break. I could feel it intuitively that our soul was changing. I bit my lip at the intense movement of my heart and the vivid pain of my body being torn and reattached. No, is there anything called lips now? I lost my consciousness for one last thought. Life in the kingdom was so comfortable that I had no idea that it was a kingdom that would soon perish. In the process of changing Arne and my body, her memories flowed in, and there was no problem in my life. So, I was trying to enjoy all the luxuries that I could not afford for the rest of my life if it were in the world where I was before. A comfortable life, wearing the best clothes, eating the best food, and being served by maids¡­ All I needed to do was review and stamp the reports that the temples and nobles of the territory had reported from time to time. Arne was the main character of the novel ¡°Flower of Destruction.¡± The Flower of Destruction was one of the best works that were at the apex of tragedy, and I devoured it to the end. Moreover, the level was strong enough to be called an SM¡¯s textbook or no moral book. There was no hard play that didn¡¯t emerge¡ªsuch as bondage, discipline, outdoor play, and r*pe. At the end of the book, Arne became a fool, and the author probably didn¡¯t know that that part would be connected in this way. The only information I heard directly from Arne was the ¡®kingdom is going to perish, though if you avoid this, you can lead a comfortable life.¡¯ However, I decided not to do anything. The woman¡¯s misfortune had nothing to do with me. I am a genuine M. Chapter 1 Chapter 1 1. The beginning of the story (1) This story began with one line: [ The Kingdom of Sorano was destroyed on Year N Month M. ] It was a novel I read a long time ago, so I couldn¡¯t remember the exact date. However, what was certain was that Arne would die shortly after her twenty-year-old coming-of-age ceremony. When I entered the book, Arne was nineteen. In other words, there was about a year left until the story began. To be precise, it would be ten months until Arne¡¯s birthday. It may be deplorable to others to hear that a long-established kingdom would be destroyed in ten months, but it was not the case for me. Besides, even if someone other than me possessed it, it was leisurely enough time for them to run away. I languorously ate at a table in the garden, served with tea and freshly baked cookies, I was enjoying the warm afternoon sun. Since the weather was cold, there were not many flowers in the garden yet. Still, it was nice to see the green grass neatly organized. Even though the Kingdom of Sorano was small, it was a country with a deep history. For that reason, for a small country, there were a lot of items from the time when ancient magic could be used. However, items that required direct magic injection among them could not be used. The only things that could be used are those that emitted light with magical power. It felt like the current fluorescent light? Like street lights. Nonetheless, there were only a few places where even that was installed. As a modern person, I was embarrassed by a civilization that was lagging behind what I expected, but since humans were accustomed to being animals of adaptation, it was quite livable. Above all, when the sun went down and darkness came, the starlight embroidering the black sky was so beautiful. As I was immersed in such a nonsensical thought, I could hear a voice. ¡°There are nobles meeting at seven pm tonight.¡± I nodded and got up from my soft chair. Behind them stood Arne¡¯s aide, two knights and maids. Although it was a small number for the number of people who came to meet the king of a country, Arne hated the cumbersome thing. I slowly rose up from my seat and headed for the office. The appearance of the small but old-fashioned royal castle came into view. The beautiful stone castle was fading as if to prove the time the Kingdom of Sorano spent. Regardless, it was cleanly maintained, and there was no moss or grass growing. Arriving at the office, I glanced at the documents neatly arranged on the desk. I sighed for a moment and thought about a man for a moment as I prepared the meeting materials. Sinensis Rewan. As the eldest son of the duke, he had promised to marry Arne politically. He was one of the top ten knights in the Kingdom, though he claimed to be an escort knight because he promised to marry Arne. He had gray hair and gray eyes, and his expression did not change so much that I thought he was a blunt person to the point where I even wondered if it was true that he loved Arne. Still, he was the one who would one day die for me. Just like in the original story, he died trying to save Arne. Even though he seemed indifferent, he was the only person here who truly loved Arne. It was terrifying in words of pure love. [ The white knight¡¯s uniform was stained with red blood. Rewan, whose limbs were tied and bound, gazed at the Princess swaying in front of his eyes. She was shaken by others, not her will. She closed her tight eyes and opened them. Yet she was still shaking and crying. ¡°Save me.¡± ¡°No, kill me. No more¡­ like this¡­I don¡¯t want to live.¡± He heard things he shouldn¡¯t have heard. Rewan saw his own king howling. It was pathetic that he couldn¡¯t do anything. He hoped all of this was a dream. Even though the wound that pierced the abdomen was still bleeding red blood, strangely, his heart ached more. ] I thought I was lost in thought for a moment, but the clock was only running towards seven in the evening. Rewan was standing in front of the open office as if it was natural. In the original work that came to mind, I grabbed Rewan¡¯s outstretched arm while mourning the death that was to come to those in front of me in advance. He familiarly led my body into the conference hall. Now, the original story had not started. Despite the fact that it might have been possible to prevent Rewan from dying, I didn¡¯t really want to try. I don¡¯t know what he meant to Arne, but to me, it was just that. I already erased her thoughts and feelings for him¡ªmeaning, I could stand by Rewan¡¯s death for my own pleasure. There was no sympathy for him, who was supposed to die. It was frankly easy to take care of affairs as the King in the Kingdom. Arne¡¯s memories of all the knowledge and the experience of working all night in Korea was just right for playing and eating. With the speed of work progressing quite quickly, the aide told me to take it easy and expressed worries. I gave a light smile to the aide who cared for me. Arne ascended to the throne at the youngest age in the history of the Kingdom of Sorano. It was partly because the King and Queen had died before Arne reached adulthood, though Arne¡¯s supreme power also helped her become King. As such, she was sincere and principled, and she neither rested nor leaned. The burden was on her at a young age, and she could not express her sorrow even when it was hard. She thought it would be a weakness. Arne tried not to show any gaps. She wanted to be perfect, and because of that, it made her lonely. The original spot was like that. Had she known she could lean on others a little bit, she wouldn¡¯t have been so horribly devastated. Her upright personality made me feel sad, but I didn¡¯t feel common sense. She was too flat and straight, to be a character in the book. As she devoted herself to the Kingdom day and night, she did not purchase more items than necessary. Even for such a small snack like chocolate, for example. I put the cut chocolate in front of me into my mouth. The overly sweet scent filled my mouth. ¡°¡­Bitter.¡± The end of its sweetness was bittersweet. Time passed quickly and it was the day of the coming-of-age ceremony. After the High Priest put on the crown, I drank the holy water called tears of God and ate the sacrament called the wings of God. Since I had quite comfortable and peaceful days, I was looking forward to the events that would follow. Such non-ideal, destructive days that begin with the destruction of the Kingdom¡­ ¡°God bless you. I wish you peace in your future, may God bless you.¡± Putting on the crown, the staff struck the floor once. From low-ranking nobles to high-ranking nobles who lined up in the Royal Palace, they knelt on the floor. ¡°May you become a noble light and protect the Kingdom.¡± ¡°May the light never fade in the Kingdom.¡± If it were anyone else, it was an amazing sight that would have made their body tremble. The shouts of the people could be heard in the distance. Loyalty and pride were felt in each and every action of the nobles. For a moment, I felt that this perishing Kingdom, which for me was somewhere to pass by after staying for a while, could be everything to some. However, it didn¡¯t mean anything to me. If life here was fun and enjoyable, I might have tried to change my destiny, though it doesn¡¯t mean anything to me unless I have the pleasure I desire. ¡°Sorano von Arne. You¡¯ll serve as a pillar of the Kingdom of Sorano.¡± ¡°Everything you do is the right answer.¡± I gazed down indifferently at those who swore allegiance. A country to fall, a noble to disappear, a glory to perish. It was just how it was worth to me. So, without hesitation, I turned around and left the banquet hall. Finally, Arne¡¯s huge and magnificent coming-of-age ceremony was over. Entering the room, with the help of the maids, I took off the crown and the red cloak I was wearing. At my simple gesture, the curtains pulled and the windows opened. I sent the maids and glanced out the window. A cool night breeze filled the room in an instant. The scent of flowers was carried into the room by the wind. It was then that I realized that the day I had so longed for and imagined was not far away¡­ Flowers that were about to fall were in full bloom. [ On July 26, Year 726, the kingdom of Sorano was destroyed. It was a day when white and red lily-of-the-valley flowers bloomed harmoniously in the garden. The pure white flowers were dyed red, and the red ones did not maintain their light for a hundred days and were lost. Blood dripped every time the long sword was swung. They didn¡¯t even notice. Because of the friendly relationship they had maintained, it was easy to open the palace gates to rude imperial envoys who suddenly came without a word. They lost the King on the day they opened the gates of the Royal Palace, and they also lost their country as a foothold. ] There was only one reason they came to Sorano Kingdom without notice. To see the beautiful King Sorano von Arne. That was it. The Emperor of the Empire, Carwen de Distria, looked fine on the outside, although on the inside he was a madman. Distria wanted to see Arne, who was known for her beauty. Nonetheless, he did not have time to spare due to the excessive workload, so he ordered the King to come by herself. That was the starting point of the destruction of the kingdom of Sorano. The Kingdom, which had been in existence for seven hundred years, was destroyed by the Emperor¡¯s command, ¡°I want to see Arne¡¯s face.¡± Originally, Distria tried to send Arne back only after seeing her face. Although he threatened the King when he first brought her in, he did not harm the lives of the nobles and the people of the Kingdom who opposed it. In addition, the foreign minister was sent to see the government affairs of the Kingdom, and the country returned to normal. Of course, as soon as Distria became interested in Arne, it was all wiped out. While she had been captured, even in the face of her death, the upright and fearless figure of the King was pitiful and curious, so Distria kept her by his side. Upright Arne. Straight Arne¡­ The appearance of Arne, whom everyone loved and respected, strangled by him. The gatekeeper delivered the news that an envoy from the Carwen Empire had arrived. In an instant, the nobles who were working in the royal palace held an emergency meeting. Not everyone knew the intentions of the Empire. The Kingdom of Sorano has a friendly relationship with the Carwen Empire, which borders on it, but was not well aware of Carwen¡¯s political tendencies or trends. In fact, no country anywhere on the continent could grasp the purpose of the Empire. The Emperor of the Carwen Empire was famous for being crazy people from generation to generation. Some Emperors were crazy about blood, some were crazy about women, and there were records that some emperors ate human flesh. In the Empire there was a book called the forbidden book and had to be burned as soon as it was read or seen. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a gift to celebrate Her Majesty¡¯s coming-of-age ceremony?¡± A nobleman said through the silence. The hall fell into silence again at the ridiculous speculation. The beginning of the original story was just around the corner. Excitement and tension coexisted. My heart started beating fast. I was as excited as a little child with a toy in front of my eyes. ¡°But, what if they are an uninvited guest, and they have other impure intentions?¡± ¡°Even so, if they came to celebrate the coming-of-age ceremony, we can¡¯t avoid getting them angry when we send them back.¡± Several opinions came and went. I was getting bored. Either way, they would open the door. I wanted to quickly get rid of the meaningless public opinion of a small country. As my moment of decision came quickly, the nobles were staring at me before I knew it. As if to make a decision. I pretended to be in my thoughts for a moment, then barely opened my mouth as if I worried too much. ¡°Please, open it. No matter how it is the Empire, they can¡¯t harm the Kingdom recklessly.¡± Even though I knew the end, the sense of immorality that opened the way to destruction shook my body. Perhaps, they would resent me for ordering the gates to open. In that way, I opened the beginning of the original story with my own hands. Nevertheless, if I wanted to avoid it, I could avoid it, thinking about Arne¡¯s feelings, who had tried to run away, even giving her life. ¡ª¡ª¡ª Hooo, so a different isekai FL now? Rather than trying not to get involved in the story, this one tried to get into the story~ Chapter 2 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 2 2. The beginning of the story (2) Leaning comfortably in the carriage, I ate the cookies. The carriage ride wasn¡¯t as good as expected, but it was not unbearable. I shut my eyes thinking about the original story. I do not know, but I felt goosebumps because it felt like I was experiencing a d¨¦j¨¤ vu I heard somewhere. And, I was very much looking forward to what was to come. [ As soon as the envoys of the Empire entered, they asked the King for a meeting. The King allowed it, as it looked urgent. At the words of the Imperial ambassador who wanted to keep confidentiality, only the escort agent Sinensis Rewan remained by Arne¡¯s side. ¡°I heard that you are good at deciphering Gore. The Empire needs you.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t there a lot of talented people in the Empire?¡± Arne asked indifferently. Why does the Empire come to her to decipher Gore? It was an unconditional archaic language they must learn. ¡°We need Your Majesty to know what the level of Gore deciphering of the Kingdom is. If you take the greatest person, wouldn¡¯t you know the level? After all, in the eyes of the Empire, the ranks of the lower ranks are not equal.¡± It was quite a menacing tone and a cocky attitude. Arne felt intuitively at the sight of him trying to take her away for a reason that was not very much. It was a threat, not a soft offer. Meanwhile, Rewan grabbed the sword at the envoy¡¯s attitude. Arne shook her head to stop him. A bloody energy flowed from her green eyes. ¡°It is difficult for me, the King of the Kingdom, to be absent.¡± ¡°It has been said that His Majesty the Emperor will be in charge of the government affairs of the Kingdom.¡± Arne felt helpless for the first time in her life. Still, she did not lose her uprightness. She just acted as she wanted to. The way she goes was the correct answer because she thought so. ] In the original story, the movement of the carriage was almost omitted. The part described was that she traveled for almost a month without a roof on her head. Contrary to the initial threats, the treatment was excellent. In addition, there were occasional conflicts between Rewan and the Carwen envoys. Other than that, the rest of the little details didn¡¯t come to mind since I read it a long time ago. The carriage stopped. At the same time, my thoughts came to a halt. Then, someone knocked on the carriage door. As I confirmed through the window that it was Rewan, I opened the carriage door. Rewan couldn¡¯t hide his worried expression as if he was worried about me going to the Empire. ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want to run away now¡­?¡± A cautious but determined voice was heard. I shook my head resolutely. Even if I did run away, I would be caught soon, and I didn¡¯t want to run away. ¡°But¡­¡± I shook my head once more. With eyes that didn¡¯t contain a single worry. I gazed at Rewan. With a look that I went because I wanted to. I played the character of Arne, who was arrogant and dignified. ¡°No, I have to go to the Empire. Even if the reason for calling me is not reasonable, I will not be able to avoid the Empire¡¯s anger.¡± As if relieved by Arne¡¯s usual appearance, his worried expression softened a little. Rewan bowed his head and extended his arm to make it easier for me to come out. Eventually, the sky became dark. After spending a long time in the carriage, I led my exhausted body and laid myself in the lodging housed by the Carwen envoys. It was a small town a little far from the Royal Palace, although it was enough for one night. I fell asleep, contemplating how I would survive my future carriage life. It had been over two weeks since I thought about my first encounter with Distria, which I could not remember. Meanwhile, I arrived in the Capital of the Carwen Empire. Since there was a distance from the Capital to the Imperial Castle where Distria resided, our movement continued. Since the Empire was closer to the villages than from the Kingdom, they only crossed one village a day in consideration of Arne. If it were the original Arne, the time she would have spent in her room would be spent just looking out at the Empire. The Carwen Empire had more novelty items than the Sorano Kingdom. Also, unlike the kingdom, the road in the Empire was well polished, and there was no shaking in the movement of the carriage. The buildings were high compared to the Kingdom. As we got closer to the Imperial Palace where the Emperor was, the street was crowded with merchants, even though it was early in the morning. Colorful clothes were spread out dazzlingly in front of my eyes. Rewan watched me curiously as I glanced around the Empire in my spare time. I pretended not to know him. Besides, it was also a personal time with no envoy interference, and I was not conscious of him because I wanted to see the Empire. Above all, I did not even think that my actions would affect the original story. It was just a small matter¡ªsmall things like looking at clothes and buying accessories, looking at people and enjoying the culture of the Empire. However, it was a little strange because it was ¡®Arne.¡¯ Rewan thought that Arne was acting out of anxiety and not doing what she normally would. So, he asked me if I was constantly anxious. At that, I bluntly answered no to that question. I knew that he was suspicious of the intentions. As usual, the movement was over, and I was resting in my room while looking at the Empire. In my hand, there was a different kind of sugar snack that I had never tried in the kingdom. ¡ª Knock, knock. At the sound of knocking on the door, I set the sugar snack down on the table and got up. ¡°It¡¯s Rewan.¡± I opened the door at Rewan¡¯s voice coming from outside. His calm expression was nowhere to be found, and he was brimming with concern. Seeing that, I handed Rewan the tea and sat down on the chair. He gazed silently at the sugar snack on the table. Was that a starter? Rewan spoke softly to me. ¡°¡­Are you doing this because you are anxious?¡± ¡°No.¡± I still spoke in a blunt tone. Rewan covered his face with both hands in response to my answer. In the eyes through the cracks in his hands, I couldn¡¯t find his original expressionless figure. It was an unknown look, a mixture of anger and worry. The anger in his eyes wasn¡¯t directed at me. He seemed frustrated with this situation and was angry with the rude Carwen Empire. Suddenly, Rewan struck the table with his fist. I was a little surprised by his unexpected behavior. What¡¯s wrong with him? ¡ªBang!!! The sugar snacks on the table fell from the impact and shattered. The broken remnants of sugar snacks splashed under the table. Oh, I only had one bite¡­ Rewan ruffled his hair with one hand. His eyes were full of emotions I had never seen before. He lightly grabbed my shoulders before burying his head on my shoulder. ¡°If you are anxious, you better cry. Tell me it¡¯s hard. Blame me for my incompetence¡­¡± He, who had been pouring out passionately, paused for a moment. Rewan stared at me with a look like he was about to collapse. It was like a sigh. ¡°¡­Hate me.¡± When he opened his eyes slowly, it looked like he was about to cry. I shook away his hand on my shoulder, and gradually widened the distance between us. He covered his face with both hands and despaired. Even though I was really okay, I chewed on the words for fear he would cry if I said I was okay. ¡°¡­.¡± I slowly approached him. Then, I hugged Rewan and stroked his back as if to comfort him. After a while, his rough breathing returned to normal. Even in this situation, I felt aroused by the sound of his rough breathing. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯m fine.¡± I whispered in his ear, earnestly hoping that my sincerity would be conveyed. Desperate at my words, he collapsed and cried out loud like a child. Not knowing why he was crying, I hugged him tighter. Rewan refused to touch me and pushed me away. He then looked at me and spoke as if he was vomiting out one word at a time. ¡°Please¡­ huff¡ªhuh, me¡­¡± As he tried to swallow his tears, only one thought came to my mind. How much will this incident, this fragment of emotion, affect the original story¡­? That was the only meaning of Rewan to me. Something that could influence the original story without me knowing it. An unknown entity that could change the original story. It was just that. We arrived at the castle where the Emperor was. Although we had been traveling for a long time, I did not meet him right away. It seemed that it was true that there was no time to eat because there was so much work. I stayed in a designated temporary residence until he called. I was stuck in a temporary residence for a day or so, but time didn¡¯t pass, and I was so bored that I decided to wander outside. ¡°How far can I go?¡± I spoke to the maid who dressed me. ¡°Yes? Your Majesty can go anywhere except the audience room and His Majesty¡¯s office!¡± The maid smiled softly and replied. Well. Considering I had been threatened, my movements were not restricted, and the temporary residence was very splendid. The wardrobe was packed with clothes provided by the Empire, and both the bedding and furniture were of high quality. I was treated much better than expected. It was like they were treating a noble. From that day on, I toured the Imperial Palace. Carwen Imperial Castle was more expansive, more splendid, and majestic than Sorano Castle. Above all, the library was truly spectacular. The arched library had a glass ceiling. The bookshelves were packed with books, and there was a smell of paper. Having finished visiting the Imperial Palace, I had nothing more to do, so I spent time in the library. While staying at the Imperial Palace, I met the main characters in the book. From Roswell Khan Devila, who is called the Grand Duke of Blood, to Raphael, who rose from a low rank to the Minister of Foreign Affairs, and to the Emperor¡¯s direct aide, Lepis. They did not personally visit the temporary residence and have an official meeting with me. We just met by chance while going to the library to spend some free time. Perhaps, they didn¡¯t even know I existed until now. So, I expanded my range of action a little more. It didn¡¯t take long for my free spirits to reach the Emperor¡¯s ears. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 3 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 3 3. The beginning of the story (3) [Arne was in a bad mood because the emperor did not seek her even after arriving in the Empire for a month. To have been brought by the one and only royal family and king of the kingdom because he needed her, and then to have left her alone. It didn¡¯t make sense to her either. Arne said that after the emperor¡¯s duties were finished, she would receive something. She even had a bizarre thought. She was worried about the Sorano Kingdom, so she couldn¡¯t sleep properly at night. Arne did not move even a single step from her temporary residence for several days after she had arrived in the Empire. Her frustration reached her neck. In the middle of the night, she went to the Imperial Palace. Only the light of the moon shone in the dark sky. ¡°¡­¡­ Who came to the garden at night?¡± There was already a guest in the garden Arne visited. Dystria looked at the intruder. He felt a little offended that his break was interrupted. Unless it was a close confidant who brought information, the garden at night was only his. Green eyes and dazzling blonde hair, Dystria knew at once that she was the king of the Sorano Kingdom. He was overwhelmed with work, and he completely forgot that he had brought the king of another country. Dystria marveled at his own indifference and glanced slowly at Arne. She was so beautiful that rumors had spread to the Empire. What¡¯s more, she had white skin that looked soft to the touch and a slender body line. She had a body that made his manhood move. Dystria didn¡¯t pay attention to her enough that he had brought Arne and then forgot, but it was true that she was beautiful. ¡°It¡¯s rude.¡± Arne¡¯s green eyes shone brightly. Dystria was intrigued by Arne¡¯s attitude. Even if she didn¡¯t know who he was, she was the woman who had been neglected for quite a long time in a foreign country with threats rather than polite speech. Even if her self-esteem was lowered by her feelings of humiliation or insult, she still didn¡¯t forget that she was the king. Seeing Arne like that, Dystria¡¯s heart twisted. He hated people¡¯s inability to grasp their place. So he became curious about Arne. How long will she be able to maintain that dignified appearance? He imagined that the woman in front of him would be ruined, and was delighted by his current envy.] ¡°Aren¡¯t you aware of your situation?¡± Was this the original conversation? I was a little perplexed by the private meeting with the Emperor, which was different from what I had expected. The Emperor was looking at me with pitiful eyes. The red eyes staring at me glistened with eerie madness. As described in the book, he had dark hair and he was more handsome than I had imagined. The body also looked solid. Ah, just looking at it is stimulating. It was more than I anticipated. While appreciating Dystria¡¯s face, I suddenly came to my senses. This is not the time to be like this. I seriously thought about the flow of the original story. Was the original story a little twisted because I had wandered around too much? What should I say? I thought carefully about how to overcome this situation and restore the twisted original story. But this thought did not last long. I was the type of person who didn¡¯t like to think very much, and I was an activist. So I said whatever came to mind. Perhaps Arne said this in her first meeting with Dystria¡­¡­. ¡°It¡¯s rude.¡± Dystria¡¯s eyes changed strangely. It was like finding an interesting prey. He laughed out loud. ¡°Ha? You are a very interesting sight.¡± Contrary to his smile, his expression was cold. As expected, this is real life. I thought that the original story I had pondered on the carriage was really useless. ¡°You probably didn¡¯t call me for an interesting sight.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you realize that the real reason I called you wasn¡¯t to decipher Gore?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not the only reason.¡± The space was filled with silence for a moment. Did I choose the wrong option? I swallowed and anxiously waited for Dystria to speak. ¡°Even if you don¡¯t want to know, you will soon find out the real reason I called you. Get out.¡± I read the original story and thought I knew the Emperor well, but now I¡¯m not sure. I had no idea what the Emperor was thinking. Well, it¡¯s not even a continuation of the next episode, so tell me now. Why did you call me? Still, I was worried that I might be taking the wrong route to a meeting that was not in the original story. After the private meeting with the Emperor, I was grateful that I did not take the wrong route, where I received the noble of Sorano¡¯s finger as a gift, and I overcame several stages of personal harassment like in the original story. However, there was one thing I didn¡¯t expect. When I received the noble¡¯s finger, unlike in the original, Rewan was beside me. Rumors spread that Rewan had challenged Dystria to a duel. Rewan, who was scheduled to die even if he stood still, accelerated his dead flag. And now, the first part was progressing in a completely different way from the original. I didn¡¯t want this kind of confusion. The dim moonlight illuminated the room. I emptied the cold teacup and got up from my seat. The night air was cold. I think I arrived here when the tepid wind was blowing, but the season was changing. Wasn¡¯t the beginning like this? I thought the description of the psychological warfare between the Emperor and Arne was quite interesting. After walking aimlessly, I arrived at the garden. It was the garden where the Emperor often came to rest at night, and he probably met Arne here for the first time. Now, though, it doesn¡¯t mean anything. ¡°I really don¡¯t know. Either you or your knight.¡± A slightly annoyed face with a slightly hoarse voice. There was Dystria in the garden, too. He slowly approached me. He looked threatening. Dystria seen in private seemed a little sharper. ¡°Is that knight the only one who saw the gift I sent you? You¡¯re looking well. He meant to save you, did you not know?¡± ¡°I understood enough, but I just thought there was no need for that.¡± It was a meeting that was not in the original story. Oh, there was no private interview in the first place. Didn¡¯t we first meet in the garden? It has no meaning at all now. I thought of the character Arne and played her. Dystria stopped right in front of me. Our eyes met. As if the gazes that collided searched for each other, we did not avoid each other¡¯s gaze for quite some time. His bright red eyes gleamed with madness, just like when we first met. He raised the corners of his mouth and smiled. ¡°You¡¯d better expect to see the results of your arrogance.¡± It was a very beautiful smile. It was a smile that would have been beautiful if his eyes hadn¡¯t gleamed horribly like a wild beast that found its prey. But that arrogant, beastly appearance suited him well. He tapped my shoulder a couple of times and left the place first. Even though Dystria had disappeared, I couldn¡¯t leave the place for a while due to the unexplained pressure. It was a strange feeling of heat radiating from my shoulder. [¡°Did you receive the present well? Looking at your face, I can see that he was well received. Do you like it?¡± ¡°I have no idea why this is happening. Didn¡¯t you say you need me? You shouldn¡¯t treat me like this.¡± ¡°You believe in that simplistic excuse. Are you more naive than I thought?¡± Arne bit her lip. Even while she was being treated like this, she did not know that her eyes were obedient. Is it the attitude that comes from the position of a king? Dystria was interested in Arne. If he destroyed her country and made her his slave, she would soften a little. He instructed Raphael to discover the power and wealth of the Sorano Kingdom. Dystria gave a languid smile.] Rewan returned bloodied. Is this the result of arrogance? He was slightly hurt. I was treating Rewan¡¯s wounds. Although he was taking care of me gently enough that there was no discomfort, he was not kind enough to send a doctor to take care of Rewan¡¯s wounds from the duel. Giving medicines and bandages was also something to be grateful for. What¡¯s more, he came back in a moderate manner, considering that he had requested a duel with the Emperor. In the first place, returning alive with wounds from the duel meant that there was a considerable difference in skill. Rewan was one of the best swordsmen in the Kingdom, but to be defeated like this. The level of the Empire was really great; I thought it didn¡¯t fit the situation. ¡°It would not have been a fight for honor. What were you fighting for? What did you lose in return for defeat?¡± I asked, disinfecting his wounds and bandaging them. Rewan was quiet. His shoulders trembled slightly. He was crying. Without a word, I stroked his pure white hair. He responded to the touch and looked up at me. There was despair in his eyes. ¡°I risked my life.¡± He risked his life, so how did he come back alive? The question almost came out of my mouth. Instead, I urged him to answer what was taken instead of his life. No, actually, I wondered if there was anything to take away from us. Seeing his gloomy figure, I stopped insisting and calmly waited for his reply. Even as time passed, I did not know that Rewan¡¯s mouth would open. Without a word, he drew his sword from his scabbard. His eyes showed determination. I noticed that he was about to die. I grabbed the tip of the sword in my hand. The cool feeling of the metal made the nerves of my whole body stand up. ¡°If you can¡¯t say it, don¡¯t do it.¡± The sword in his hand trembled. He dropped his sword and Rewan¡¯s eyes were full of despair. Rewan bit his lip. Blood was dripping from my clenched hand. He opened his mouth as if he had decided to speak, looking into my worried eyes. ¡°I would rather die than insult my Master.¡± A low sigh. And a short silence. ¡°What they want in lieu of my life.¡± Rewan squeezed his eyes shut. And the words were heavy, one letter at a time, as if to vomit his pain. ¡°¡­¡­ It is your purity. Your Majesty.¡± After finishing his declaration, Rewan burst into tears. He bit his lip as if to stop his tears. He cried silently. I didn¡¯t think he did much wrong. It was rather good. It felt like a ray of pleasure had come to my boring life. Frankly, I was happy. He wiped away the tears and bit his lip. Rewan confessed his sins. ¡°¡­¡­ Incompetently I sold my Master.¡± Somehow I laughed out loud in this miserable, cruel situation for him. I smiled unknowingly. Did he think he had committed an unforgivable sin to Arne? I am the one who enjoys it unbearably inside. If he thinks he has sinned against me, what will he think of me, or of this miserable Arne? ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 4 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 4 4. The beginning of the story (4) [ For him, the nobles of the Sorano Kingdom were merely tools to roll Arne comfortably. Start lightly with the fingers, then the wrists and head. Occasionally, he brought her cherished maid and killed her horribly. The nobles of Sorano Kingdom despaired because the King was tied to the Empire, and there was nothing they could do. Still, they didn¡¯t give up. Even if their fingers were cut off, their wrists were cut off, and sometimes even their friends and family members died, they did not give in to fear. Even though they tried to ask for help from neighboring countries, they were reluctant to help the Sorano Kingdom, which was being treated unfairly by the huge difference in power. The difference in power was like that. In the unchanging situation, they gradually became desperate. Yet the King was still alive, so they did not give up. For the nobles of the Sorano Kingdom, the existence of their King was like that. Distria instructed Raphael to gently embrace the vested interest forces at first. But, it failed because of the King and the nobles, they couldn¡¯t help but stand upright. Upon hearing the report, Distria instantly thought of Arne and felt bad. She was the first person whom he couldn¡¯t control. ¡°The conciliation is now over. Press with force. Erase it from the map.¡± Distria threw the papers Raphael reported to the floor. Raphael glanced at the Emperor and picked up the papers he had thrown at him. What should he make with the pretext of defeating the Sorna Kingdom? He sighed in secret. He gave a mournful gaze to Lepis, who had to remain in the same room as the emperor, and exited the Emperor¡¯s office. ¡°What is the First Knight Commander doing now?¡± ¡°Sir Acacia is probably in charge of securing this festival, and I understand that he is working on documents related to the deployment of the First Knights.¡± ¡°Leave that to the Second Knights. The First Knights must prepare to go out immediately.¡± ¡°As ordered.¡± It took less than a month for the Sorano Kingdom to be erased from the map after the First Knights went out. I had a bath service. Fragrant perfume oil, warm water, and gentle massage. Drying my hair, I listened to the handmaiden¡¯s warning. ¡®You must not hurt the Emperor,¡¯ such things. They didn¡¯t treat me like a king. Instead, I was treated as a woman for the emperor¡¯s night. They had make-up applied, and a single pinkish cloth draped over my bare body. They even mentioned that it was to prevent me from possessing a weapon in case the women spending the night with the Emperor would harm him. It was the usual attire for handmaidens serving the Emperor. With my eyes blinded, I was led by the handmaiden into the Emperor¡¯s bedroom. The cloth tied around my eyes was untied. The half-naked Emperor lay in front of me. His muscular body, visible through the gaping gown, was ecstatic. Apart from that, his overbearing appearance and eyes created a creepy feeling of fear as if I had entered a tiger¡¯s den. The Emperor grabbed my chin and raised it. I made eye contact, and he smiled. His soft lips met mine before he licked my lips with his tongue as if urging me to open my mouth. His tongue shoved into my gaping mouth. Then, he scanned my upper and lower teeth and pressed his upper body firmly. Although it wasn¡¯t rough, it was a deep kiss. The kiss with him was over when my clenched chin was sore. Our mixed saliva drooped. ¡®¡­Wow, he was good at kissing.¡¯ ¡°Your escort was spared, though this is the price.¡± He laughed. It was an obvious ridicule and a winner¡¯s laugh. Some might call Rewan¡¯s behavior stupid if they had seen it, but it wasn¡¯t for me. It felt like a welcome rain has fallen on my boring daily life. To be honest, I wanted to compliment Rewan and stroke his hair. Eventually, I opened my mouth. ¡°I think it is cheap for the price of life. And, it is the virtue of a monarch to take responsibility for the mistakes of the subordinates.¡± ¡°Have you not learned what shame is?¡± ¡°It is an act of taking responsibility for the mistakes of subordinates. What is there to be ashamed of?¡± I kept a rational state while hiding the excitement caused by his deep kiss. At that, Distria smirked and ruffled his hair once. He stared at me with annoyed eyes. Those dangerous-looking eyes made him look even more menacing and sexier. ¡ªRiiipp. He tore the thin silk fabric. As pieces of pink fabric fluttered and fell on the bed, the flickering light of the candle lit up the pure white body. Distria¡¯s eyes gleamed horribly. He grabbed my ankles and spread them apart. It was a shameful attitude. Without any foreplay, he fit his own thing into my entrance and shoved it in. However, when his thing, which was above average in size, squirmed into my unprepared body, he inflicted tremendous pain. ¡°¡­!¡± I bit my lip in fear of screaming, and rolled up the sheet to hold back the pain. At the same time, Distria didn¡¯t give me time to adjust to my struggles with the pain after insertion. He repeated only the shoving motion to satisfy his own desires. ¡ªSlam! Slam! ¡°Huht¡­!¡± The hard and large thing moved inside the dry interior. In the midst of vivid pain, I felt pleasure. His expression, the intermittent groan, and the hot hand that touched me showed that he was excited. ¡°Kugh¡­¡± The sight of him moaning with his eyes closed was so lustful that I turned my head away. Suddenly, Distria grabbed my chin and made eye contact. Just like that day, the night we searched for each other. However, unlike that day, his eyes were clouded with desire and we kissed once again. ¡°Haa¡­¡± He dug all over my mouth, and unlike the first time, he tenaciously poked around everywhere. My body, accustomed to the pain, became wet, and the room suddenly filled with squeaks. The hand that had touched my waist came up to my chest. He gently stroked my chest, and his fingers pinched the tips. ¡°Heup¡­!¡± Without realizing it, strength entered my body. Distria tenaciously caressed my chest as if he liked my reaction. The intense kiss stopped, and he kissed the lips, then the neckline, then the chest. ¡°Do you like this kind of violent relationship?¡± ¡ªYes. For a moment, I almost lost my reason and almost nodded. I shook my head eagerly. Although my body was drenched in excitement, my steady brain did not lose its reason. His movements accelerated. Even if the love liquid came out, it was painful getting swept every time with his pistoning movement because his member was large. Still, the feeling of the inside of my secret place getting filled was ecstatic. ¡°Get down.¡± He ordered. I felt my brain go white again. How was Arne¡¯s beginning? My body was excited and wanted to be stabbed again, though reason caught up. The original that I pondered while riding the carriage, went somewhere and my head was as white as a blank sheet of paper. When I didn¡¯t respond, Distria laughed. Then, he forced me to lay down. As soon as I felt the hot breath in my ear, I heard his whisper. ¡°You better get used to this kind of treatment.¡± As my face was nailed to the bed, he grabbed my pelvis and put my knees up. Pushing himself in, he whispered again. ¡°I¡¯m going to take you in this position.¡± No matter what he was saying, I couldn¡¯t concentrate on what he was saying. Distria dug deeper than normal. It was difficult just to hold back the moans of the pleasure I felt every time he came in. The pain was gone, and only the dizzying pleasure remained. ¡°Haa, haa¡ª¡± I turned my face slightly to catch my breath. The pelvis caught in the violent act hurt. Distria reached out and rubbed my chest, placing his hand on my shoulder. ¡°Hup¡­!¡± A scream rang out from the unexpected pain. As a signal, he started carving kiss marks here and there. I felt a sense of disparity because he had a friendly appearance that only a lover would do. Seeing Distria¡¯s excitement and possessiveness, I felt a sense of conquest for no apparent reason. ¡­A night without warmth passed by, seeking only pleasure. When I opened my eyes, my whole body ached. The red blood left on the white sheet proved Arne¡¯s purity. Of course, just because you bleed doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s the first time. Still, after all, the purity they wanted was blood. I think it would have been nice to have a shameful route where they placed my legs spread apart by examining the hymen. In the bathroom attached to the bedroom, I roughly rinsed myself with water from the bathtub and put on a bathrobe. I could see the bruises on my ankles and pelvis, teeth marks on my shoulders, and red flowers all over my body. My body was a mess as if red paint had been painted on white drawing paper. After examining my body, I covered my eyes with the covering and pulled the string according to the precautions I heard yesterday. The door opened, and I heard someone come in. ¡°You didn¡¯t cry.¡± Distria¡¯s low voice rang in my ears before feeling his hand untying the knot in the tightly tied robe. The white robe fell from my shoulders. His hot hands caressed my body, gripping my chest and pinching my n*pples. Even though I was embarrassed by the unexpected development, for a moment, a sense of excitement came over me. ¡°Huhk¡­ Didn¡¯t I pay the price for saving the escort yesterday?¡± His laughter was heard in my ears. ¡°The King of Sorano Kingdom is more naive than I thought. If you¡¯re in the tiger¡¯s den, you should be more alert.¡± ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 5 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 5 5. The beginning of the story (5) Unlike yesterday, Distria didn¡¯t insert right away. The sound of his breathing, drenched in excitement, could be heard in my ears. His hand, which had been stroking my chest, descended on the stomach and grazed my thigh. I could feel Distria¡¯s strong body behind my back. I barely struggled and refused his act. It was right to leave my excitement behind and reject him because of Arne¡¯s personality. At that, Distria stopped caressing my thighs. The scorching heat receded, and I raised my hand to remove the cloth covering my eyes. Then, he grabbed my arms with one hand before whispers came. ¡°Where are you going?¡± It was a low, threatening, deep possessive voice. It was as if I had been left without a weapon in front of a beast that had been starving for a long time. Even under the ferocious atmosphere, the fast-beating heart made me feel joy instead of fear. While anticipating what he would do next, I muttered words from my mouth. ¡°I paid what I had to pay. This non-consensual act is tantamount to violence.¡± Distria moved his lips to my ear as though he couldn¡¯t hear me. He brushed the lobe with his tongue and bit my lobe. A wet sound hit my ear as he tied my arms roughly in a white robe and laid me down like he was throwing me on the bed. My nerves became sensitive because my eyes were covered. His fingers ran down my chin, neck, and chest, touching my entrance. As I reflexively closed my legs, the sound of Distria¡¯s laughter was heard. ¡°I like you quite a bit. Except for not crying.¡± As he spoke in a whisper, he loosened the robe that tied my arms and put it on properly. ¡ªRing. A small bell rang in the room. The scorching heat quickly cooled, and what had just happened felt like a fantasy. My uncool body was deeply saddened, and I wanted to pretend to be crazy and hold onto Distria. ¡°See you next time.¡± He behaved forcibly and now let go of me again¡­ He was an unpredictable person. I was immersed in thoughts as the maid drove me to my temporary residence. In the original story, Arne¡¯s first sexual partner was not Distria. I thought the original was twisted at some point, but I didn¡¯t know it would have enough ripple effect to change her first experience. Even so, I didn¡¯t think it had changed seriously. I couldn¡¯t imagine what kind of result the twisted original would have on me. Nevertheless, I was vaguely convinced that in some way I would face the inhumane deeds that Arne had suffered. Even if I struggled to deviate from the original work, in the end, I was convinced that at some point, I would be sexually abused in this Imperial Palace. As I entered the room and unwrapped the cloth that closed my eyes, I saw Rewan with red eyes and tears. His clear, youthful eyes became cloudy, the color of a dead man. His usual ascetic appearance became decadent and aroused irrational sexual impulses within me. The gown slid down, revealing the teeth marks left by Distria on my shoulder. From my neck to my calves were mottled pink flowers. As I deliberately did not fasten the open gown, I could feel his gaze. His facial expression changes were quite colorful. He was angry, then sad, before getting again, and then he fell into a sense of shame. The sound of Rewan¡¯s rough breathing, which sometimes quenches his anger, filled the room. What kind of anger is that? I couldn¡¯t know. ¡°I want to rest. If you have nothing to say, please leave.¡± ¡°How should¡­I¡­ How should I have acted in the right way?¡± His trembling voice got wet little by little. Slowly, he came over and kissed me. I could feel his impatience and nervousness as if he was breaking down. Somehow, I felt like I was going to laugh. This was more destructive and tragic than the original story. If it was Arne and not me, she might have already been ruined. She lost her purity due to the mistake of the knight she believed in and was attacked by her own knight, who has lost his mind due to a sense of shame. This trash clich¨¦, was a pretty ideal flow. Rather than an ideal relationship, I liked a relationship in which we covet each other with muddy, unpleasant, and gritty emotions¡ªclearer than the word ¡®love.¡¯ But, why does it feel weird? ¡°Calm down, Rewan. It¡¯s not your fault. I am happy that you are alive.¡± I said while his lips parted for a moment. My voice trembled faintly. The trembling of my voice was not a lie. My heart was beating with an uneasy sound. The thin gown was easily removed with a single gesture from Rewan. My excitement surged, and at the same time, I forgot the strange feeling I had just felt. Looking at the red traces, I realized that he was jealous of the traces left by Distria. I liked the way he showed ugly feelings towards the woman who sacrificed for him. In the original story, it felt more humane than inhumanly upright. Somehow, he felt like a human. Rewan kissed the red flowers embroidered by Distria. And, he began to plant flowers in the new place. I knew that the new marks that Rewan had made would upset Distria¡¯s mind. Still, I pretended not to know. As if he had come to his senses, he stopped coveting my body. A suffocating stillness choked my throat. Pretending not to know the excitement of the moment. I concentrated all my nerves on stimulating my tear glands. As tears flowed down my cheeks, I pretended to cry sadly, pretended to be hurt, and buried my face in the pillow. ¡°¡­Huff.¡± Rewan gazed at the miserable Arne and seemed to be at a loss for what to do. I could feel his hands in the air. I wondered, does he feel that he was entirely responsible for this misery? Actually, in the first place, this misery started from me, who opened the door to the Imperial envoys. Moments later, I heard Rewan quietly leaving the room. ¡­Did two days pass? During that time, no one, even Rewan, had come to the room I was staying in. Only the maids who occasionally brought meals knocked on the door. When I opened the window¡­ A terrifyingly cold, clear winter has arrived. One day, when the flowers embroidered on my body gradually faded, I opened the door. In front of the open door, I saw Rewan kneeling on his knees. Since when he had been like this, his complexion was pale. His body seemed to have lost weight after starving for several days sitting here. Strange, for a moment, I felt the same strange feeling as back then. Though I shook my head. It wasn¡¯t guilt. ¡°Get up and go back to Sorano.¡± ¡°Go back to Sorano¡­ I would rather die.¡± Replying back, he got up from his place and came over to me. As he stretched his legs and staggered while walking the short distance, he embraced me. Rewan cried out loud. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m sorry I don¡¯t have the shame to say I¡¯m sorry.¡± He then slowly opened the distance and knelt down on his knees. ¡°It was all my fault, so I wanted to die to pay for my sins. However, considering that no one would be left with Your Majesty, I could not afford to die and ask for forgiveness.¡± ¡°¡­Stop.¡± It was difficult to hear his words. I never thought of him for a moment. ¡°I was foolishly holding on to life. If you tell me to die, I will die.¡± He was despaired, desperate, ruined, and miserable because of me. Truthfully, I didn¡¯t really feel anything. In his one-sided love, where it felt hopeless and despair instead of me, it was death. Still, I couldn¡¯t feel any regret, guilt, or any emotion toward him. ¡°Excuse me. I¡¯m sorry you two are talking to each other, but His Majesty is looking for you,¡± Said the maid, who quietly approached. I nodded once to signify my acceptance and put on the clothes I wore when I first left the kingdom. After telling the crying Rewan to treat his body, I followed the maid to the audience room. As I entered, a bright red carpet stretched out on the floor of the audience room. Distria sat arrogantly on the carpet end seat and stared down at me. ¡°Take it.¡± He smiled brightly and held out a piece of paper. Then, the attendant politely took the paper and handed it to me. I knew this scene, only Rewan was not by my side. It was the day Arne lost her country. [ ¡°Sorano von Arne, I hereby declare that you are not the King of the kingdom, but the hostage of the Empire.¡± Arne¡¯s face turned pale when she checked the paper she had received from Distria. It was a map where the Kingdom of Sorano was not marked. She slowly turned the map over. It was a notarized map with agreements from neighboring countries and temples stamped on it. The Kingdom of Sorano has disappeared from the map. This meant the country was gone. As she stumbled greatly, her body lost focus and tilted. Rewan, who was behind her, grabbed her, who was about to fall, and stood her up. Arne, having corrected her posture, could not hide her anger and shouted at Distria. ¡°Wicked bastard. Capturing the King of one country in the Empire and plundering the country¡­ What you did is no different from a thief.¡± Contrary to her pale complexion, her words were unhesitant. Distria, who was sitting on the throne, slowly descended to her. As he went closer, he grabbed Arne¡¯s chin. A sense of humiliation filled Arne¡¯s mind. Rewan drew his sword towards Distria. However, at the same time, his sword fell to the floor with a bursting sound. The sword of Acacia, the commander of the First Knights escorting Distria, was shining sharply. Rewan bit his lip. The sense of humiliation swept over him. Acacia stared at Rewan with cold eyes. With one glance from him, he was subdued by the knights and laid down on the floor. Even though Rewan raised his sword to protect his master, his helpless self seemed to make him nauseous. From the depths of the abyss, a sense of shame arose. ¡°There is no one in this Empire who can save you. Even the knight lying on the floor can¡¯t save you. You¡¯d better think about how you¡¯re going to conduct yourself.¡± Arne did not shed a single tear on the day that her country was taken away. She couldn¡¯t help but not cry because she felt that the tears to be shed for the nobles and their people who died while fighting until the last moment were so fleeting that a drop of tears would not be comforting. She felt sorry for crying, so Arne bit her lips. She would somehow survive and take revenge on the Empire, continuing the kingdom. She would not give in. Arne wept without tears. After she became the Emperor¡¯s personal handmaid, Arne could only live in the Emperor¡¯s bedroom, and the clothes she could wear were also limited. It was forbidden to tie her hair up, and she was not allowed to wear underwear. She could only wear dresses made of silk. It was to prevent in advance if she ever possessed weapons that would assassinate the Emperor with her hostility. Arne¡¯s face was dyed bright red at the original meaning of the transparent dress. As Distria glanced openly at her, he stretched out his hand to Arne. She refused such a touch. It was an instinctive rejection. She clearly felt that Distria was uncomfortable, though she could not accept the touch. And, it came to Arne as another ordeal. ] ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 6 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 6 6. The beginning of the story (6) ¡°Consider it a blessing for you to be my personal maid.¡± He uttered to me with a glass of wine. Every time he moved his hand, the blood-colored liquid that gushed out barely managed to overflow, flowing down the wall of the wine glass. Distria slowly approached me with a glass of wine. He then smiled softly as he gently ruffled my hair to my ear with his free hand. ¡°King of Sorano. I am still alive. Until I see it with my own eyes, the destruction of Sorano¡­¡± Distria covered my mouth with one hand. The unfinished words vanished from the air. He couldn¡¯t hide his anger and stared at me. I felt ecstatic at his wretched primal emotions. He slowly poured the wine he was holding onto me. As the cold red liquid ran down my body, the cold sensation of the liquid gave me goosebumps. ¡°Looks wet with blood.¡± He sneered before taking off the clothes I was wearing and ran his tongue over my body, following the liquid that had flowed out. When the hot tongue grazed my cold body, a feeling of heat erupted. I grabbed Distria¡¯s dark hair and tried to stop him from going down. It was a meaningless rebellion, a meaningless act, and I expected his next action. As he scans my body along with the wine, he abruptly stops. ¡°Is this the trace of that escort knight?¡± Saying so, he pointed to a red mark that had not yet softened. The act that night was close to violence. I rejected him desperately, and he followed me tenaciously. Distria questioned me, saying things like when a lover would be jealous. At that next moment, he inserted it right away without foreplay and drove me like a runaway locomotive. It was an act of a beast. He embroidered teeth marks and flowers all over my body. ¡°How was he? Was he good? Did you cry while lying on the floor?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± I bit my lip and turned my head as if a moan would leak out. Then, while he was doing his pistoning, Distria stopped and started to laugh like a madman. He stopped laughing and gazed at me with an even more cruel expression. As I avoided his gaze, he grabbed my chin and forced my gaze. ¡°I asked. You have to answer.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± His finger entered my mouth. It ran through my teeth and stroked my tongue, before pressing down on my soft cheeks. As a result, Distria¡¯s fingers became wet with my saliva. Still, his gaze was still fixed on that red mark. I was impatient as he continued to not move his body, not understanding his words and actions that were close to jealousy. He twisted his back a little as I played a painful expression and let out a sigh of light excitement. The next moment, he grabbed my pelvis and began to gently turn my back. ¡ªSquelch, squeelch. The bottom, which had become wet, made a sultry sound every time he moved. Distria smirked as though his anger had subsided a little. ¡°If your body is so honest, why can¡¯t your mouth be honest?¡± I didn¡¯t say anything. I didn¡¯t let out a single moan or a breath. At that, Distria, who was tenaciously pushing me inside, stopped moving and raised his arm. ¡ªSlap¡­! His large hand slapped my cheek. It was such a pain in the mouth¡ªOne, two, three times in a row. Even so, Distria burst into laughter at the sight of me not even screaming. ¡°Haha! Ha, ha¡­¡± Taking his thing from inside me, he then put on the robe lying on the bed and walked out of the room. ¡°Gaasp¡ª!¡± Distria disappeared from the room, and after holding it for quite some time, I was able to let out a rough breath of excitement. His movements, facial expressions, everything was ecstatic for me¡­ even that big hand that slapped my cheek. [ Distria ordered Arne to deliver the document to Raphael and obtain an autograph. She was still wearing a silk dress. Still, she walked out of the Emperor¡¯s bedroom with the document. Raphael, as Distria¡¯s cherished and trusted foreign minister, had a private office near his bedroom, as if proving that. Arne blushed with shame as the attendants around her scanned her body as she passed by. Nonetheless, she walked with her back straight. Whatever the circumstances, she had to be confident, and she had to not lose her dignity under coercion. A king had to do that. ¡ªKnock, knock. Arne entered the office and handed the papers to Raphael. He looked at Arne once with pure admiration for still being confident and not losing her dignity. She had an appearance that could be said to be beautiful even for other countries. Her breasts and buttocks, visible beyond the silk dress, were perfect. Feeling his own thing raising its head. He shook his head while thinking about putting his c*ck inside Arne and making her cry. Raphael knew Distria¡¯s nature and trusted his senses. No matter how much he cherished him, he would have a hard time evading that immunity if he touched Distria¡¯s toy. ¡°This is something His Majesty wanted to deliver. Sit at the desk and spread your legs.¡± Arne¡¯s expression hardened. She was shocked by Raphael¡¯s words and was unable to move for a while. From the time she was born as a princess to the time she became king, she had never heard such vulgar words to her face. Even though she heard rumors that there are young people who share obscene rumors by looking at Arne¡¯s appearance and body from behind, it was the first time to say something outright in front of her like this. Arne became aware of her own position. The fact that Sorano, who seemed to be eternally splendid, was destroyed and she became a slave. In addition, because of her¡­ She opened the door herself. Being conceited against the Empire. Nevertheless, Arne could not readily admit the fall of her kingdom. She murmured towards Raphael as if turning away. ¡°You¡­ Aren¡¯t you afraid of the repercussions after saying this?¡± ¡°Sadly. I¡¯m more afraid of an emperor who punishes people for not obeying orders than words that don¡¯t have substance.¡± Raphael lightly hugged Arne and put her on his desk. Arne, who was suddenly alert, struggled and refused his touch. He sighed in excitement. He was very excited that he, of lowly status, could slander her, who was a noble birth. He took off his robe, tied Arne¡¯s arms and spread her legs. Between the gaping legs, he inserted a pen into the petals. One, two Raphael concentrated on increasing the number of the pens until it was dense¡­ ¡°¡­.!¡± It took Arne a long time to comprehend in her head what was going on. She let out a silent scream. She didn¡¯t know what it was like to lose a country, to lose its protection, to lose power. She didn¡¯t know how far her position had fallen. When her arms were sore and her spread legs trembled, Raphael finished the work and counted the number of pens on Arne¡¯s navel. ¡°If even a pen disappears, the Emperor will not let you go¡­ Also, your escort knight.¡± Before continuing, ¡®If you understand, go,¡¯ before smiling. ] I bought Distria¡¯s anger in a different way from the original. After that, it was just like the original. Raphael forced my legs apart and the pen was put in. However, unlike Arne, who sincerely refused, I got a little excited about this act. Contrary to my calm rationality, the body, which was arbitrarily excited, spewed liquid. The pen that Raphael put in slid out again due to the liquid. Unlike Arne, which was densely filled due to the stiff inside, I couldn¡¯t swallow the pen inside. Raphael gave a troubled expression and stabbed me inside with a pen. He deliberately touched the soft flesh inside. As his lips rose in an arc, the pen pierced my cl*toris. ¡°Huft¡­!¡± A faint moan and a twitching body reaction as he kept stabbing my cl*toris. Under the continuous stimulation, the liquid poured out little by little. Raphael grinned at the wet, shiny secret place. No matter how bad I tried, my body was honest, and I couldn¡¯t help it because I was a pervert. When I turned my head and bit my lip, he dropped the pen that was penetrating me inside. ¡°You are more lewd than you looked?¡± Uttering so, he loosened his belt. I took a breath, looking forward to the next action. His p*nis protruding from his pants was huge. It was nice to swap bodies with the heroine of this world. I praised myself. Soon, Raphael¡¯s p*nis was lodged underneath. It was the first time I had received a man in a state of excitement, so I almost burst out with moans. His movement shook the desk and the books on the bookshelf fell. Because my arms were tied behind my back, making it difficult for me to support myself, my head kept pounding against the wall. ¡°Heup¡ªDo you think it¡¯s okay to do this?¡± ¡°Hahh¡­ You¡¯ve already done it with the Emperor. What¡¯s the matter?¡± He smiled brightly. Raphael rested his head on my chest and wrapped one hand around my waist. His breath brushed my shoulder¡­ His breath, wet with desire, tickled my ear. A gurgling sound, matched to the stroke of his thrusting, filled the room. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t feel good looking at you. Look at how tight it is. I¡¯m going crazy.¡± Spitting out obscene words, he speeded up. I swayed limply with every move he made. In the original story, Raphael continued to say vulgar things to Arne. He liked to see Arne blushing in shame. He grew up in a back alley because he was originally of lowly status, so he used obscene words and swear words that nobles did not. For fear that it might become a weakness to other nobles, he maintained a cool and business-like attitude, though only showing his true form to Arne. Of course, Arne hated it so much that her teeth trembled. The excitement that came from the strange words in my ears and the tactile stimulation that stabbed me below was dizzying. Raphael pulled out his member and stared down at the dampened floor. I felt as though I was going to lose my mind because of his hot body and his blatant gaze. ¡°What makes you feel so good?¡± Asking that, he smiled mischievously. Raphael made eye contact with me and pressed his hand to the inside of the v*gina, and pierced it. An unbearable moan flowed out of my mouth as he pressed the dizzying sensation inside my crevice. ¡°Haht, haang¡­!¡± Raphael began to caress the secret place, gently scratching and pounding with his finger. My body shivered and honestly responded to the stimulus he was giving. Tears seemed to come out of the delicious pleasure. I wanted to c*m. My chapped lips were torn and bleeding. Raphael, biting my n*pples, caressed the bottom with his hands endlessly. ¡°Do you think you¡¯re going crazy with excitement? Ask me, for my c*ck.¡± ¡ªYes. Please¡­ C*ck. ¡°¡­Huhk¡­St¡ªstop, no¡­¡± The words my reason had filtered out leaked out of my mouth. There was a slender voice that sounded like excitement and tears mixed in. Then, he let out a long sigh mixed with desire. Raphael liked to see Arne weeping under him. I trembled and shed tears to provoke him further. My gaze was fixed upwards, and I breathed in as if trying not to cry. Seeing that, he grabbed my hair and forced me to lay on the desk roughly. ¡ªSchloop! When his shaft finally came back, I nearly shrieked with joy. ¡°Cry more.¡± His voice whispering in my ear was full of conquest and excitement. When I shook my head, Raphael increased the intensity of his movement. He smiled as he grabbed my chin and forced my gaze. The tears that hung from the corners of my eyes fell every time I gazed up. Pleasure turned into pain because of his ignorant and quick pistoning strokes. ¡°Cry more!¡± His eyes gleamed in madness. I thought he was crazy. The excitement that seemed to reach the climax came to me more than the first pleasant s*x. ¡°Keuughh¡­!¡± As my tied arms were swept away by the rough movements and my open legs trembled, Raphael pulled out his thing and ejaculated on my stomach. At the same time, I also experienced a climax. After a storm of pleasure, the feeling of ecstasy swept over me. ¡®¡­It¡¯s really difficult to have s*x once.¡¯ ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 7 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 7 7. The beginning of the story (7) Did I lose my consciousness¡­? It was already night when I opened my eyes. The moonlight was glowing softly from the window. It was a peaceful sight. Creak¡ªI turned my head to the sound of the door opening. There, Distria was wearing a thin robe. It seemed that he had just come out of the shower as water dripped from his hair and wet his thin robe. ¡°Are you awake? I sent you an errand, and you did some crazy obscene things.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not what I wanted.¡± ¡°He said you first seduced him by spilling fluid.¡± I had no choice but to remain silent at his words. Seeing that, Distria laughed at me and gently stroked my hair. He whispered in my ear. ¡°I have prepared a tool for managing a sl*t. How do you like it?¡± In his hand were shackles. Little by little, I began to get excited again as I was obscenely filling the shackles. As I woke up the lost reason and forced myself to come to my senses, I then stretched out my hand to try even a meaningless rebellion. Along with the sound of iron, the coolness of the metal on both arms caused me to feel slight pain. Distria fastened the collar. Even if it was a small kingdom, considering that I was a king just a while ago, I was treated unbelievably. ¡°It fits you pretty well. It¡¯s like you were always meant to wear it from the beginning.¡± He smiled as he saw me with the collar as if satisfied before pulling the leash and sat me on his lap. Facing him with my legs spread apart, I stared at him. ¡°You have a pretty face, too.¡± Saying so, he grabbed my pelvis and lowered it to his own. His member was completely inside me. Distria grabbed my upper thighs and moved me up and down. ¡ªClank The sound of iron rings echoed from the tied collar. The thighs that had already been abused by Raphael opened as if they were being torn apart, complaining of pain. Meanwhile, Distria ripped the silk dress and bit my chest. He chewed on the n*pples. When he stimulated the delicate parts, an unintentional force entered my body. Without realizing it, I repeatedly tightened and loosened the bottom. ¡°Kugh.¡± A moan escaped his mouth. His hand gripped my pelvis and moved faster. I started to falter because I had no place to support myself. Resting my head on Distria¡¯s shoulder, I took a deep breath. His hand, which was holding my pelvis, came down softly and began to rub my buttocks. The heat felt from the inside and the heat of a large hand heated up my body. His lips, which had gripped my chest, moved away and he ruffled his still wet hair. A desire that could not be hidden appeared in his eyes. ¡°Move.¡± I shook my head with a face about to cry. Barely holding back my moan, I muttered that I didn¡¯t want to. When in reality, my body was drenched in excitement. Since I couldn¡¯t move, I was riding on the weak stimulation¡ªI wanted more stimulation. It felt like I was turning my back without realizing it. The breath that grazed my neck became hot. ¡°Haa¡­ I can¡¯t stand it.¡± When Distria grabbed me and stood up, the thin robe he was wearing was half ripped off and dripping down. The tightly woven abs were fantastic, I yearned to touch his body. The chain in my hand made a loud noise as if to signal its presence. The chains that bound me kept me from unconsciously groping his body. ¡­That was a relief. ¡ªSlaaam! Slam! He pushed me against the wall with great force and started moving. A squeaking sound was heard from the area connected to him. Every time he made a reciprocating motion, the liquid wet my thighs. The sound of metal erupting from the neck and arms added to the excitement. ¡°Hak, haahhkk¡­!¡± Bondage, which restrains and binds the opponent, was my favorite play. The greater the presence of the tools retaining me back, the better I felt and the more excited I was. That was why my excitement is at its peak now. Even though he didn¡¯t move a few times, I reached the climax alone and spilled water. It was so dizzying that it was difficult to even breathe in the continuous pleasure. Distria¡¯s exhilaration-soaked breath, moaning, and solid body I bumped into were all ecstatic. ¡°I don¡¯t eat while tied up.¡± Still tied up, I refused food from Distria. I tightened my eyes and gazed at him. He looked a little angry. As he pulled the leash lightly, my body, which had been overworked for several days, fell to the floor. The shackles on my arm tightened with a sharp sound. Cold metal touched my wrist, and my tender skin was shriveled up. ¡°Why can¡¯t you understand your place like this, slave?¡± Saying so, he tapped my chin with his foot. The next moment, the soup he was holding in his hand was poured over my head. Fortunately, the cold, not hot soup ran down my head and slowly fell to the floor. He then grabbed my leash and pulled me up. I met his eyes with the forced gaze. ¡°You look good on the floor.¡± He hung the leash on a hook attached to the wall. Because there was a distance, I was dragged to the wall, and I still had my head bowed. I could hear Distria¡¯s laughter as if he enjoyed how I looked, and he willingly lowered himself to look at me and kissed me. Unlike a while ago, the friendly behavior gave me goosebumps. I was not in my right mind either, but he was worse than me. Crazy bastard¡­ I heard the door open and then closed. Checking Distria, who had left the room, I raised my head. Even though it was a development that deviated from the original story, the main framework did not miss. In the original story, Distria put Arne on a leash. However, unlike the original story, the pace was very fast. When I saw the Emperor and the people around him acting similar to the original story, I felt a gap in my sense of reality. Although this was my life now, it didn¡¯t feel real. So, the current situation didn¡¯t come to me that seriously. It was rather enjoyable. There were a lot of crazy guys, though they gave me that much sexual satisfaction. No matter what kind of life it was, isn¡¯t it enough if you enjoy it? It was such a vague feeling. I fell asleep for a moment as someone entered the room, and my eyes opened. Burning red hair and bright purple eyes. Laria Lepis, he was Distria¡¯s exclusive aide. All the men here were handsome. I was purely admiring Lepis¡¯ appearance. Lepis let out a sigh as if bothered. He took out the key and loosened the chain that had been attached to the wall. The chain hanging from the wall fell and a strong impact was transmitted to the wrist. A soft groan escaped from my mouth because of the pain. He grabbed my leash and dragged me into the ensuite bathroom before placing me in the bathtub. The next moment, he poured cold water over my head incessantly. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯m busy with festival preparations now and I have a lot of work to do. What? What kind of aide does this? Do you understand what I mean¡­?¡± He carelessly wiped my wet body with a dry cloth. The drowsy sleep that had come from the cold water baptism disappeared. It wasn¡¯t in the original story¡ªLepis¡¯s bathing service. No, can you even call this a bathing service? Lepis unshackled my wrists and treated the bruised wounds. I was medicated and bandaged. Next, he grabbed my leash again and threw me on the bed. He spread my legs apart and started putting ointment inside. As I was taken aback by the way he cared for the unexpected part, I could feel it when he touched it without notice. ¡°Do not spill the fluid.¡± He rebuked me for not knowing that I had spilled love liquid. As he applied the ointment, he sighed. I didn¡¯t want to feel it either, though how do I do that when I¡¯m a pervert? Now, I¡¯m very confused, too. If I wanted to imitate Arne, I shouldn¡¯t have felt it even in this situation. Even though I got angry and told him not to touch me, my body was honest. Mechanically with my mouth. Don¡¯t do this. I mumbled that it was something he didn¡¯t have to worry about. Still, I wasn¡¯t too worried since it¡¯s Lepis. ¡°If I do it once, will it stop?¡± ¡­What? I beg your pardon? Meanwhile, he loosened his tie and took off his white shirt. Though as he was doing so, his eyes were full of annoyance. Lepis touched his thing with his hand and applied the medicine. Then, he grabbed my leg, spread it apart, and put it in. His member filled me. He was mechanically moving, not touching me. I couldn¡¯t concentrate on having s*x with him. If it was with other male characters, maybe not. Is once enough? They might have welcomed me with open arms, though not for Lepis. There were many cases where the male characters acted outside the original story after entering the novel, but so far, no one had deviated from the character¡¯s personality. ¡°Ah¡­¡± Every time he poked at the most sensitive part, my thoughts were shattered. He glanced at me with so indifferent eyes that I didn¡¯t even think we were having s*x. Lepis despised Arne to the extent that it was strange to mix his body with her now. He was a noble and authoritative person. In the original novel, Lepis hated Arne and distanced himself from her, for she made the discipline in the Imperial Palace lax. While Raphael and the high nobles coveted and played with Arne, Lepis had to take over their duties. Tired of the arduous work, he tried to kill Arne on a contract to destroy the root of all the evil. But now, he was having s*x with Arne¡­? The wrong original story created a new storm. Although there was still a long way to go before the novel ended, for the first time since I came here, I was afraid of the end. After Lepis finished and left, I thought about a part that was significantly different from the original. First, in the original story, Arne¡¯s first s*x partner was Rewan¡­ However, it was now Distria. Second, it was indeed early when Arne had mixed bodies with Raphael, but not when he had put the pens inside her like that. On the other hand, I had s*x when he put the pen in. And, finally, Lepis¡¯ attitude¡­ Even though he wasn¡¯t like that at first, the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was falling into a labyrinth. In the end, I gave up thinking. I don¡¯t know. I should just enjoy it. Even if some parts were wrong anyway, I was stepping on the original story one by one. The story would end one way or another. I thought so. Wasn¡¯t it enough to eat well and live well somehow? After the end, you would know the world if you lived. Because of that, I decided to live comfortably, so I was disappointed at the s*x a while ago. Lepis was actually pretty good. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 8 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 8 8. The beginning of the story (8) ¡°Did Lepis do well?¡± He sat me down at the table and served me soup himself. ¡­Is this something the Emperor of a country would do? I swallowed the soup that was forced in my mouth. While serving me soup, his other hand stroked my thigh. His hand, which had been gently stroking my abdomen, gradually moved inward and even more secretly. I trembled once as his finger touched inside. Handing over the soup, Distria lifted his hand and stroked my cheek. He looked friendly. ¡°I like your body quite a bit¡­ Although the others seem to do the same when I see them rushing out of their mind.¡± As I stared blankly at him, he then tapped my cheek. ¡±I¡¯m glad my eyes are right, though. I don¡¯t like it when you spread your legs out to anyone.¡± He whispered in my ear. It was a voice of deep possessiveness. Did he express his possessiveness so directly in the original story¡­? Distria didn¡¯t like Arne, who couldn¡¯t understand her place. Even though she had been half threatened by a foreign country, he was dissatisfied when she raised her head. So, he was constantly tormenting her until she was exhausted. He still wanted to hurt my self-esteem by tying my arms and legs to keep me from rebelling¡ªhence, tying the restraints and feeding me. To put it in a Distria¡¯s term, he wanted me to understand my place. No, he called the King of a country according to his own will and didn¡¯t even look for her for days¡­ However, didn¡¯t he ruin the country because he didn¡¯t like it and was offended? What place was there to grasp¡­? No matter how good I tried to think about it, he was out of his mind. In short, Distria was a crazy bastard. I felt pity for Arne who got caught by this guy. ¡°¡­Crazy bastard. You have no hope.¡± Ah, my mistake¡ª The swear words leaked out of my mouth as I was thinking inside. Distria laughed as if it was ridiculous. He couldn¡¯t stand Arne¡¯s rebellion, cursing him like this now, refusing to touch him because she didn¡¯t like him, and all of that. The next moment, he moved his fingers inside me in a circular motion. When he brushed the thick part, he repeatedly pressed his finger against it before removing it slowly, like a slow piston. Then, he stretched out his fingers, which he had put in the place that had not yet gotten wet enough without mercy. ¡°¡­Huhk. Don¡¯t.¡± I moved my tied arms and legs to express my dislike. A loud noise echoed through the room. When my body trembled as his hand touched my genitals, Distria smiled and accelerated his movements. A squeaking sound was heard as the love liquid gradually flowed from below. Oh really, it was difficult for me to keep getting soaked in actions that I should not have gotten wet if it was the original Arne. Contrary to the difficulties, my body was gradually increasing in heat. The faster his hands went, the more the table shook constantly. I bit my lip to hold back my moan. As the plates fell to the floor, the contents inside flowed out through the broken pieces. It took only a few minutes for the clean room to become a mess. ¡°I think you like being oppressed like this.¡± Yes. I want to pretend I don¡¯t, but my body was honest. Eventually, Distria pulled his finger out of me. His fingers, doused with love liquid, were shiny and reflected in the light. Licking his fingers, the slimy love liquid and his saliva ran down the back of his hand and fell to the floor. ¡°It¡¯s hot.¡± He smiled softly, seemingly satisfied. That look was horribly erotic. When I opened my eyes, a swarm of lights filled the room. Today, for some reason, all restraints, including the collar, were released. I slowly moved my body and got out of bed. The pain, which started from my toes, swept through my entire body. My body ached because I was constantly being inserted and treated harshly without even having time to recover. Especially, my thighs and inner sensitive areas were sore. As I got out of bed, I glanced over my body slowly. It was full of redness and bruises. I led my shaky legs out of the room. Even if I decided not to care about the original story, it was important to imitate the character of the original Arne¡­ For my happy M life. In particular, it was important for Distria to not lose interest. Even though he was a psychopath, I was just playing with him for the sake of my happy s*x life. It wasn¡¯t anything. Besides, if I mess up, I would die. ¡­Well, death wasn¡¯t really that scary. In the original story, the male protagonists liked Arne being tormented and took her by force. Well, it was more delicious to hold a noblewoman forcibly. Besides, there were only a few sane people here. Thanks to them, I¡¯m happy. I like being forced, pretending I¡¯m being harassed and fulfilling their needs. In addition, I enjoy being in a coercive relationship! Isn¡¯t that a great life plan? Though Distria¡¯s interest was gripping, I thought that I would be able to meet Rewan easily. In the original story, Arne ran out recklessly, where she met Rewan and spent the night with him. Like that, I thought that I would be able to easily meet Rewan and form a relationship with him. It was an illusion. No matter how much I walked and looked around the room, I couldn¡¯t find a single strand of Rewan¡¯s hair. Where the hell did he hide Rewan? I rubbed my thighs as I was lost in thoughts. Suddenly, there was a roar from afar. As the Imperial Palace began to get noisy, it was as if Distria had noticed that I had disappeared. I thought I would meet Rewan soon, though my legs hurt and the pain below was so severe that it was difficult to walk. For now, I¡¯ll just pretend I¡¯m hiding so I wouldn¡¯t get caught. As I strode through the corridors of the Imperial Palace and opened a simple, patternless door, there was nothing in the spacious room except for a single bed and a bookshelf full of books. I lay in bed without thinking. Given Arne¡¯s easy encounter with Rewan, it must have been that she received the heroine buff while I was thinking nonsense. [ Arne was in shock for a while and was unable to move. Every time she saw the Emperor, the terrible memories of that day came to her mind. The legs that were forcibly spread apart and the pen inserted¡­ She shook her head softly. It was terrible. She lost her country, she lost her protection, she lost her allies. It felt like being put in the mouth of a beast without a single weapon. Arne had nightmares every night. She couldn¡¯t sleep and couldn¡¯t even eat properly at the thought of the Kingdom of Sorano, and she was getting weaker day by day. Distria, who had become more gentle than the first day, used to pat and whisper to her as if he liked her, stroking her hair with tender eyes. ¡®That¡¯s good. If you remain calm in that state, you and your escort knight will be safe.¡¯ She trembled sadly at Distria¡¯s touch. He liked Arne¡¯s crushed horror look. He thought she was figuring her place right now. It was a series of such days. Arne didn¡¯t want to do anything. A feeling of helplessness and fear overtook her whole body. A fear more vivid than death. Helpless and weak, because even at this moment, she was only breathing because of Distria¡¯s permission. ¡°Come here.¡± As she gazed at Distria, who smelled a strong wine scent, she slowly approached him. Bright red eyes stared at her. Arne turned her gaze away, pretending not to notice the deep, blatant gaze that scanned her body. Distria¡¯s lips touched her eyes, nose, mouth, and her neck in that order, then fell. His long fingers ran across her body. When the light cloth was lifted, a pure white naked body shone in the light. Arne, who had come to her senses with excitement, shook off Distria¡¯s hand. She pushed him and ran down the imperial corridor. No matter how terrified she may be, and how she couldn¡¯t do anything, she shouldn¡¯t have given up. Considering the people of the Kingdom of Sorano who believed in her and resisted to the end, this shouldn¡¯t have been the case. Arne wept aloud for the first time since the fall of the kingdom. She hated herself because she couldn¡¯t do anything for the people of the Kingdom. However, she felt sorry for herself because she abandoned them out of guilt and could not be satisfied with the life she had now. While running down the hallway, someone caught her. Although very surprised, Arne did not even have the strength to scream. In the empty dark room, in the silence, only her hiccups echoed. ¡°Your Majesty, it¡¯s me. This is Rewan.¡± Arne turned her head at the familiar voice. An unfamiliar place, the only person on her side¡­ Arne grabbed Rewan and cried profusely, forgetting to save her face. Rewan, who was taken aback, looked better than she expected that he was being treated badly. The next moment, she took off her thin clothes. When she ran away and got dragged in, she didn¡¯t know when she would be forced to have her first experience with someone. If that was the case, if it was obvious that it would be like that, Rewan would have been better. She wanted to spend the first night with her own will rather than the first night where she had to be forced. She wanted to do it even though she knew it was an irrational choice that didn¡¯t fit the situation. It would be a little spiritual support for a woman who had lost her country, lost protection, and was left raw in the enemy¡­ ¡­To not be deprived of her first time with someone. To not behave the way Distria wanted. Arne bit her lip. She felt like she was about to cry. It was just that she was sorry that she was only thinking of this as a sanctuary for her life. ¡°Hold me.¡± Saying so, she grabbed Rewan and hung on him. Please, hold me. Then, she hurriedly put herself in his arms again and whispered. Rewan was shocked to see his king trembling. She had never been weak. His anger towards the Empire rose. Originally, Rewan had planned to secretly meet Arne to communicate his plans and leave the Empire. Even if it was impossible to take Arne, he had the strength to get out by himself. Besides, the surveillance towards him was low. However, the moment he saw his trembling king collapse, asking for him to hold her, he bit his lips. If he left, what about her¡­? She was shaking her body and showing a weakness he had never seen before. Arne met Rewan and was greatly relieved. Even if he couldn¡¯t do anything for her, one thing that comforted her was that they were in the same room, it was enough. He was her knight¡­ Not just a knight of the kingdom. Rewan kissed Arne¡¯s lips slowly. The corridors of the imperial Palace became noisy and the sound of searching for her was heard. He gazed at her, who was trembling anxiously. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± He didn¡¯t know what was okay. Still, he comforted her that it was okay. Rewan laid the white knight uniform cloak on the floor and laid her down. He comforted the impatient Arne, and gave her what she wanted. It was an ordinary night of lovers. A first night that Arne would have experienced if she had continued her normal life in the kingdom. Red blood stains were sprinkled on the pure white cloak. ] ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 9 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 9 9. The beginning of the story (9) Distria was very angry and stood in front of me. It felt like I was wide awake. I glanced at my outfit and looked around the unfamiliar space. The same clothes I had when I left Distria¡¯s room, the bed I had been lying on. A neat space. Nothing has changed. I was terrified of the pressure that was weighing down on me. In Distria¡¯s hand was the leash. He strode over to me and grabbed me by the collar. I sat down and looked up at him with half-awake eyes and he lifted me up. ¡°Crazy. Do you think you can get away from me?¡± Distria nailed me to the wall in that state. I raised my hand and grabbed the back of Distria¡¯s hand. More and more power grew in my grasp. It was so tight that I couldn¡¯t even breathe. I let go of Distria¡¯s hand. Now that I might die, I wasn¡¯t afraid at all. Because I knew he wouldn¡¯t kill me. Even in a situation where my breath was tight, only my face turned red. I closed my eyes, giving up the resistance. Distria laughed as if it was ridiculous. ¡°Did you provoke me like this and want to die?¡± He released the power from his grasp. I slid off the wall and fell. I coughed drily and inhaled. I wiped my mouth full of saliva and looked at him. He fastened the leash he was holding around my neck. The red handprints he left behind were obscured by the collar. ¡°¡­¡­ I¡¯m not going to kill you easily.¡± Distria looked at me with a gloomy expression. [Distria felt betrayed by Arne. It was just a toy that escaped, yet he was strangely angry. He looked outside the palace, the gardens, and even outside the gates. But he couldn¡¯t find her. That¡¯s because she didn¡¯t intend to escape from the Imperial Palace. Arne was inside the Imperial Palace. Also near his own bedroom. She threw away his hand and ran away to have sex with Rewan. Yes, it was the anger that stemmed from it. How dare she, she doesn¡¯t even understand her place. If she¡¯s a toy, she has to act like a toy. Still, she couldn¡¯t figure out her standing. ¡°You dare.¡± Distria slapped Arne. The dry eyes twinkled and gleamed as he had seen when he first met Arne. It¡¯s like receiving a ray of light. Distria didn¡¯t like it. How can she have hopeful eyes when she was mere loot from a defeated nation? Why was she looking at him so proudly? Distria couldn¡¯t understand her. -Slaapp¡ª! Only the sound of Distria slapping Arne¡¯s cheeks filled the room. Arne didn¡¯t scream during that painful time. She just looked at Distria blankly. For a moment, his eyes, which had been filled with anger, became silent. He quietly looked at Arne, and as if his business was over, he turned and walked out of the room. Arne spit the blood out of her mouth. She took a deep breath. Her cheeks tingled after being slapped. Arne was satisfied with the current situation, even though her actions might cause some kind of repercussion. Not acting according to Distria¡¯s taste. It was satisfying not to become his toy. It was dusk outside the window. The sun was setting. Distria put Arne on the leash. She was curled up on the cold floor, asleep. There was no place in the Carwen Empire where Arne could rest comfortably. Distria pulled Arne¡¯s leash like that. Arne woke up from an unexpected shock in her body and neck. She looked up at him with a surprised expression. She then discovered that the leash in his hand was attached to her neck. ¡°You better get used to this kind of treatment. Unless you want to go crazy.¡± Distria laughed. It was an obvious sneer. Arne¡¯s body trembled with anger and shame. Distria¡¯s threat to get used to the disgraceful situation in which the restraints were strapped were terrifying. If this is just the beginning, what is the end? What about later? Arne was speechless. She gave up thinking about the future. She hadn¡¯t given up on life yet. Considering the weight of her name, she should not give in to adversity. Arne wanted to cry out loud. She suffered so much from the weight that was crushing her. ¡°I will not forgive you.¡± Arne said as if spitting out each word. There was anger in her words. Distria couldn¡¯t hide his sneer as if she was ridiculous. He lightly pulled on Arne¡¯s collar. Clink, with the sound of the leash, Arne was thrown in front of Distria. Distria squatted to meet Arne¡¯s gaze, then grabbed her tousled hair. The luscious golden hair had faded and the splendor was not what it used to be. ¡°What are you going to do if you don¡¯t forgive me? Those words have to be said in a position to have power. I guess you still haven¡¯t figured out your situation.¡± Distria kissed Arne on the lips. He forced Arne¡¯s tightly closed lips apart and pushed his tongue in. Every time she pulled away, rejecting him, he gave strength to the hands that grabbed her hair. He scanned her teeth and gums, opening the wound in her mouth. Arne gasped at the rushing pain. Arne hit him hard on the shoulder. She wanted to get out of Distria. Tears welled up in Arne¡¯s eyes at the pain. Distria licked the corners of Arne¡¯s eyes. ¡°Huuhk¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t stand the jealousy at the affection you showed for that knight.¡± Arne looked at Distria. She was shocked by his words, her head stiffened and she couldn¡¯t find anything to say for a moment. Arne barely raised her trembling hand and grabbed Distria. ¡°Don¡¯t touch him.¡± ¡°Why?¡± He laughed cruelly. Arne¡¯s eyelids fluttered uncontrollably. Arne was led by Lepis to the palace garden. She was crawling on all fours. Her cheeks were hot red from being beaten, and her white knees were full of scratches. Her hands were as messy as her knees. It was humiliating, but she could not afford to live without Rewan. And she couldn¡¯t even take her life with her own hands. She couldn¡¯t get revenge or increase her power. She was stuck here, and there was nothing she could do. She didn¡¯t want to live like this, but the burdens on her shoulders and the weight of her name had led her into this life. ¡°It¡¯s the festival season soon, so I am already busy enough. I hope that accidents like this do not happen in the future.¡± Arne was silent. Lepis grabbed Arne¡¯s leash and hurried her steps. She walked fast, but the palace gardens were spacious. Even after walking for a long time, there was no end in sight. When Lepis reached the central maze he ran into Raphael. As soon as Arne saw Raphael, she felt her body harden. Captured by the shock of that moment, Arne¡¯s body trembled. ¡°I don¡¯t think there¡¯s just one or two things to deal with at the festival? If it¡¯s okay with you, I¡¯ll take her for a walk in the garden from here.¡± ¡°Thank you for the favor. Then please. Raphael.¡± ¡°Then good luck at work.¡± Raphael tapped Lepis on the shoulder. Lepis handed Raphael the leash and headed for the Imperial Palace. He didn¡¯t like Raphael. No, it was right to say he hated him. He sits in an undeserved seat with his lowly status. Raphael had no castle, but his power exceeded that of a Grand Duke. That¡¯s why he didn¡¯t like having to bow his head to him. Lepis took off the robe that Raphael had touched and threw it at random. It was unpleasant. Raphael pulled Arne¡¯s leash toward him. Arne gave strength to her body and held it in so that she would not be dragged into Raphael. ¡°Why are you so nervous? Do I eat you?¡± Raphael lowered his body to Arne¡¯s eye level and gently stroked her. Gently caressing her head, face, and under her chin, he acted like a friendly owner. He treated Arne as a ¡°dog¡± rather than a person. His hand touching Arne went down her chest and the belly underneath. He caressed Arne¡¯s thigh, trembling from exhaustion from the long crawl. And slowly he pushed his finger into Arne¡¯s entrance. Her body stiffened. His finger touched Arne¡¯s entrance, and his other hand shoved into her mouth. He repeated his fingers in and out of her mouth like a piston. Arne raised her teeth and bit Raphael¡¯s finger at the act. Raphael¡¯s calm expression hardened in an instant. ¡°It would be nice to be good.¡± If you want your knight to be safe. She seemed to hear the rest of his words. Arne seemed to be falling into a fleeting abyss. The entrance to the maze of the Imperial Palace. People don¡¯t go there, but it was outside, and Raphael, who was caressing Arne openly, grabbed Arne¡¯s chin. He lowered his head and pressed their lips together. Arne felt nauseated by the disgust. ¨C Sluurp, sluurp. Raphael, who was alone in excitement from the long kiss, took off his coat and laid it on the ground. And as if he couldn¡¯t stand it, he laid Arne down. ¡°¡­¡­ !¡± His thing pierced through Arne¡¯s inside. Arne made no sound. Arne¡¯s dried eyes were contained in Raphael¡¯s excited gaze. He didn¡¯t like it. ¡°Cry underneath. Don¡¯t act like a jerk.¡± The feeling that splits her body from the night she spent with Rewan. And the one who gave that feeling was the person she hated and who gave her an indelible insult. The plight of giving her body to such a person was miserable. Arne bit her lip. But she didn¡¯t want to do what he liked. Arne looked at Raphael and shook her head. The determined green eyes dimmed a little. Even so, it was unlikely that Arne would be able to survive sanely if she did not push herself and rationalize herself. While shaking aimlessly up and down, Arne swallowed her tears and breathed in.] ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 10 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 10 10. The beginning of the story (10) ¡°Did you forget that I told you not to cause trouble because I was busy during the festival?¡± Lepis stared at me as if he was dumbfounded. In his hand was a chain attached to my collar and I was walking on all fours. In the original world, I enjoyed dog play in hotels and rooms, though it was my first time outside. Anyway, unlike in real life, I didn¡¯t have to worry about someone recognizing me and I didn¡¯t have to worry about indecent exposure. Although it was my original inclination, I had no objection to having s*x outside at all. It was just that my body was drenched in excitement. I was relieved of my thoughts by the sharp pain I felt in my neck. It was because Lepis was pulling on the leash. Because of that, I pretended to be humiliated, pretended to be ashamed, and hardened my expression. He glanced at my face and sighed. ¡°I don¡¯t have time to be like this either.¡± He urged me to move. I could feel the rough texture of the soil on my knees and palms. A savage sense of excitement came over me as I was treated less of a human who walked on all-fours. The gaze of the attendants and gardeners around me added to the enthusiasm. If I was outside for a long time, it seemed that love liquid would flow down my thighs. Lepis continued to pull on the leash, hastening his steps. At some point, we were entering the maze inside the garden. My knee hurt from the unfamiliar all-fours walk. It was only a little bit, and because the garden was vast, I was thirsty after walking for a long time. I paused for a moment to catch my breath, and Lepis poured water into his hand. ¡°What are you trying to do?¡± ¡°Have you forgotten His Majesty¡¯s words to act like a dog? You have to bark. Lick it.¡± Contrary to his abusive remarks, he maintained his clerical demeanor. Unlike his usual blunt and cynical disposition, somehow, he seemed to be in a bad mood today. It was an unsuitable behavior. He pushed his hand with the water to the front of my mouth. I pursed my lips and looked up at him. How could he treat me like a dog like this? Thank you, but I am not exactly grateful. Even though I was thirsty, I couldn¡¯t drink it, considering Arne¡¯s temper. Lepis sprinkled the water from the bucket on the ground. He then gently pressed my head with his foot. My face was buried in a pile of wet, damp dirt before he pulled my leash and forced my head up. ¡°You can¡¯t use it because you wanted to be treated like a human. I am busy.¡± His eyes were full of contempt. He slammed my face down to the damp ground once more, and tightened the leash to lift me up again. At that, I fell to the floor against my will and was lifted up and over again and again, and I was out of my mind. ¡°Did you drink all the water?¡± He grabbed me by the leash and forced to drag me when I was immobile. My face, chest and stomach were covered with moist soil. As soil got into my eyes and tears came swelling. I wanted to touch my eyes with my hands, but my hands were already covered in dirt, so I couldn¡¯t do anything. I felt the excitement of being treated less of a human. Meanwhile, the muddy bottom wanted more pleasure. I couldn¡¯t walk properly due to the burning sensation. Lepis looked down at me with pathetic eyes. The next moment, he suddenly came to me. I was filled with wild anticipation, and I expected his actions. ¡®Come on, touch me!¡¯ He rubbed my leg, contrary to my expectations. He seemed to think that my leg was hurting and I couldn¡¯t move properly. I was just anxious because of his touch. ¡°Aren¡¯t you busy with festival preparations? What are you doing here? What a nobleman.¡± Then, I could hear Raphael¡¯s voice. Seeing Lepis rubbing my leg, he strode over to me. Lepis got up and bowed to Raphael. Contrary to his behavior, his eyes were cold. It was quite interesting to see the confrontation between them, which was only seen in the novel. It was a pity that there was no popcorn. I peeked at them while holding my breath. Raphael picked up my leash that had fallen to the floor. He took off his coat and wiped my muddy face and chest by hand. The mud had already been wiped away with his coat, although my hands were blatantly muddy. Under Raphael¡¯s lustful touch, my bottom was wet as if water was flowing. ¡°It¡¯s the Emperor¡¯s toy, but you handled it too harshly for a walk. From then on, I will guide her. And you, if you want to work in the Imperial Palace, you have to hide your face first.¡± ¡°¡­Thank you for the advice. And, thank you for the favor. Raphael.¡± Saying so, Lepis bowed his head politely and made his way through the maze inside the garden. It was just like the original story. Raphael saw that Lepis had gone and looked at me. He grabbed my chest and grazed my n*pples with his fingers. His hand, gently caressing my chest, went down before putting his finger under the already wet inside and stirred. I bit his robe in my mouth. The dirt he got from wiping my face on his coat got into my mouth. I was going to eat dirt like this. He whispered in my ear as he repeated the reciprocating motion with his fingers. ¡°I think Lepis was pretty good at caressing. You were already soggy. How much temptation did you give to the nobleman to tempt him enough to do it outside? Were you that hungry?¡± He waved his finger, glistening with love liquid in front of my eyes. Raphael seemed to misunderstand that I was trying to have s*x with Lepis, and he didn¡¯t seem to like it since he hated Lepis in the first place. But, that was not it. I shook my head. I couldn¡¯t say anything with my closed mouth. I thought that was fortunate. Even if I don¡¯t hold back my moan, it won¡¯t spit it out. His hand fiddled the cl*toris again. It was difficult to support the body even on all fours due to the sensation of tingles all over the body. However, Raphael didn¡¯t seem interested in my condition, as he unbuckled his pants and grabbed my pelvis, making my hips fit his height. ¡°You¡¯re like a beast. Arne.¡± As soon as he finished speaking, he put his member inside me. It was like pressing it down. With every move he made, my arms twisted and my body tilted. I tried to put strength in my arms and try to get up. Nonetheless, his movements were unstoppable. There was no consideration. ¡°Kuhh¡ª!¡± My buttocks were being pushed like a beast, and I was being f*cked outside, not even in the room. Not knowing who might be coming adds to the excitement. I was fussing like I was in heat. I turned around and wanted to satisfy my desires. It was an astonishing pleasure. Although I have no idea what would be at the end of this path I have chosen, I am satisfied with the current situation. ¡°Is my d*ck that delicious? You¡¯re very tight.¡± He said with a lust-soaked sigh. Continuing to move his waist and made me spit out his robe that was bitten in my mouth, he laid his robe on the floor and pushed me down, tied up. It was a little damp because it had been bitten in my mouth. ¡ªRiiipp. Raphael tore my clothes and touched my chest. Little worries like how I¡¯m going to return when I go back don¡¯t give me any meaningful value now. It was just a beastly time. He spat out words that I would be ashamed of, and I relished it. ¡±Your p***y is delicious.¡± There was no place that was not delicious. Of course, I didn¡¯t even show it, but it was ecstasy. I hope that the original story would be finished as soon as possible so that I can reveal my desires. I had such crazy thoughts. I woke up to a strange sensation. Someone was touching my bottom. A squishy sound rang in my ears. I wondered who was touching me, though I decided to focus on this strange sensation. I had s*x with Raphael, but this body doesn¡¯t seem to know what satisfaction is. ¡°Huhh.¡± ¡°Ha¡­¡± The sound of someone¡¯s excited breathing irritated my ears. My body was heating up at the same time. This man¡¯s lust never subsided. It was the worst female lead buff that Arne had. Arne, who was shy at first, gradually became more and more sensitive as she was exposed to sexual stimulations. She was easily wet inside when humiliated. One of the reasons her mind was starting to deteriorate was her body¡¯s unwanted reaction. Had it not been for this situation, I would have welcomed a sensitive body that would soon reach its climax, although not now. After all, I am a serious pervert, so it was not difficult for me to get wet whenever I did anything. ¡°Ha¡­!¡± While I was deep in my thoughts, someone stabbed my cl*toris. I tossed and turned like I had just woken up because he was making reciprocating motions with his fingers. I opened my eyes, pretending to be embarrassed when I saw someone touching my body. His face was obscured by the darkness, though his flaming red hair glimmered, and I knew who he was. ¡°Did you like it under that lowly thing? It originally said you¡¯d stain each other, but you¡¯re really playing dirty.¡± He seemed to drain the s*men that Raphael had poured into me. The milky, slimy semen was pushed out of the love fluid that was leaking out of nowhere. As Lepis took off the white gloves that were touching the bottom, the light gloves wiggled and slowly fell onto my stomach. Lepis walked out of the room with an expression full of disgust as if he had touched something dirty. ¡ªBang! The door slammed shut. I stared blankly at the door he had passed through, and I was lost in thought. It was completely different from the way he hugged me, had s*x with me, and gently touched me back then. ¡­Was he the Lepis of the original story? Or, the Lepis who despised and hated me like he did now? Which one was his original personality? I thought I knew the heart of the characters in the novel. However, now, I¡¯m not sure. What¡­ What caused it? What made the flow of the story change? Even though I was open to the change, at the same time, I was not quite. The future was scary, but not frightening. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 11 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 11 ¨C Festival Of Disasters And Pleasures (1) Everyone in the Imperial Palace was busy except for me, as the preparations for the festival were in full swing. However, Raphael, who was relatively idle, took me out to the garden in the name of taking me for a walk. Raphael dragged me, who was rebellious, into the garden and found a rare place. The next order was s*x as if it was natural. He held me, who had lost the Emperor¡¯s interest. Whether it was the palace garden, the hallway, or the library, if there were no people, the place did not matter. The only thing he was sensitive to, was the gaze of people. When Raphael was appointed as Distria¡¯s right hand, many people dismissed him because of his status, even though his abilities had been fully demonstrated. Whether he was polite or not, the nobles reviled his conduct in relation to his original status. All of Raphael¡¯s actions were the fault of his birth, not his own. ¡°¡­Do you like doing it outside? It seems tighter.¡± Raphael, who pushed himself inside me from behind, whispered in my ear. I shook my head and tried to run away from him. The more I did it, the more he tenaciously dug into me. I could feel his warm body hugging me. The sound of his hot breath tickled my ears. His hot hands caressed my mounds, which rose above the thin clothes. As my insides got drenched, Raphael¡¯s hips slowed down. He grabbed my hair and made me turn my head before licking and stirring my lips tenaciously. ¡°Tell me you like my d*ck.¡± Raphael whispered as he took out his thing from inside me. I shut my mouth and shook my head. My relationship with him has always been like this. When I was unprepared, he drove himself in and enjoyed the way I was in pain, and when my insides got wet, he stopped pistoning. Then, he asked for sentences that were difficult for me to say like ¡®put your d*ck in,¡¯ or ¡®your d*ck is delicious¡¯. Unless I was playing Arne, it would have been easier to say, but not now. Usually, when I did that, I shed tears, pretended not to know or managed to provoke him to have s*x. Today, I was at a loss as to how to seduce him. ¡°Quickly. You want to get f*cked now, too. Look, it¡¯s leaking.¡± Rushing for an answer, he put his finger inside me as I stood without saying anything. He gently rubbed the cl*toris and caressed the most sensitive part inside. Every time his fingers rubbed, the liquid inside me poured out. Every time he touched it as if it wanted more stimulation, the entrance twitched involuntarily. ¡°Haa¡­ You¡¯re making my d*** hard¡­ Seriously, do you enjoy eating my fingers? Did you want me to poke you inside like that?¡± He removed his fingers that were glistening with love juice and shoved his member inside me again. Shoving it all the way in, Raphael moved slowly, making a quick reciprocating motion. Leaning against the wall of the palace garden, I took a deep breath. The intense pleasure came rushing in, and it was hard to hold on. I wanted to cling to him and beg him to move faster. ¡°Right now, here¡­¡± Raphael¡¯s movements stopped at the sense of a presence. He seemed perplexed. It was a familiar voice somewhere. As I slowly turned my head, Rewan looked at us with a bewildered expression on his face. He was sensitive to gazes. And, Rewan was included in Raphael¡¯s important gaze. Raphael, who came to his senses, stared at Rewan and smiled lowly. He seemed somehow angry. He took his shaft completely out to show Rewan, and then pushed it back in slowly. Rewan clenched his fists and gave him a murderous expression. There was a lot of murderous energy that seemed to kill Raphael at any moment. Nonetheless, he looked at Rewan and laughed. Even in a situation like this, it only added excitement to seeing someone watching. ¡°It is the result of the price of your life. Look closely. Loosen your expression and follow the actions¡­ Hut!¡± ¡ªYou never know what will happen to the King¡¯s life. It was as if unfinished words could be heard in my ears. Every time Raphael moved, there was a squeaking sound. He ripped my clothes off and pulled out my chest and fondled it. He was full of madness, and I, excited about this situation, had arrived at such perversion. ¡°Heup¡­ Go away. I don¡¯t want to show you¡ªHeuk!¡± Rewan bit his lip. He looked like he was about to cry. Even his clenched fists suddenly lost their strength and were open and bleeding. He didn¡¯t do anything for me. No. He couldn¡¯t do anything. Raphael¡¯s hips pounded faster. I leaned against the wall, shaking as he moved and weeping. Rewan slowly closed his eyes and stepped back. I could feel a burning sensation on my cheek, and my mouth was tingling. A crackling sound, which was difficult to think of as the sound of flesh-to-skin contact, resounded. A few steps away from that sound, Rewan¡¯s feet stopped. ¡°Open your eyes. Where are you going? I told you not to move. Look.¡± Raphael kissed my back and stroked my back gently. Raphael¡¯s intense inner stimulation filled me with excitement enough to forget that Rewan was watching. He then speeded up his pistoning as if he was about to climax. Then, Raphael reached his climax. ¡°Kuhuugh¡­!¡± He hugged me and took a rough breath before pulling his thing from me. I sat and crouched down. Raphael¡¯s semen and love liquid ran down my thighs. He dressed roughly and walked over to Rewan. As time passed, as if he was whispering something to Rewan, his expression turned white. His body trembled like an aspen tree. A subtle emotion sprouted in that desperate and tragic sight. ¡­Worry? I laughed at myself. It was absurd that I, and not anyone else, was worried about Rewan. Who am I? How dare I? When I made him like this¡­? ¡°¡­Sorry.¡± Rewan came to me. His face turned white and filled with confusion. His face, full of strange passion and guilt, seemed to be contempt for himself. He stroked my swollen cheeks with the back of his hand. The stench of blood from his hand swept over the tip of my nose. My thighs were streaked with red blood. He brought his mouth to my entrance, which was filled with semen and love liquid, and started licking the inside with his tongue. I grabbed his hair and shook my head in a meaningless rebellion. I tried to close my legs, but it was still not enough. As though the worries about Rewan had disappeared a while ago, I was excited again. Only the strange sound of him licking my underside reached my ears. Rewan, who had thoroughly licked my blood-stained thighs under the mess with Raphael¡¯s semen and love liquid, lifted his head. He was crying. A strange feeling arose. ¡­What am I to you? Why are you crying? I¡¯m not the Arne you knew. What would he think if he knew I was excited about this act? Did he know whom he was crying for now and for whom he was being subjected to such humiliation? I felt bad for some reason at the way he was genuinely worried about me. I couldn¡¯t understand his unwavering love. I knew the consequences of unrequited love. It was a foolish death. Crying and laughing for Arne, not for her but for me¡­ I had a strange feeling. Rewan is nothing to me. Rewan had to be nothing to me. Unlike the mornings of other days, today was a little noisy. I was washed by the maids with luxurious perfume and received a full body massage. Drowsiness poured in from the warm water and the tired feeling. Without knowing anything, I was changed into luxurious clothes and put on makeup. When I finished dressing up, a cool sensation touched my neck. It was a collar with white lace that went well with the pure white clothes. The drowsy sleep was gone. ¡­Today was the festival day of the Carwen Empire. [ The festival of the Carwen Empire has begun. It was a festival to encourage the knights who gave the victory in the war against the Kingdom of Sorano. Unbeknownst to Arne, the festival commemorating the fall of the Kingdom of Sorano was held for a week. On the first and last days, there were many events in which nobles participated. The Imperial Palace, without the high-ranking nobles, including the Emperor, and the maids and attendants who helped them, was a little sluggish. From early in the morning, Arne was decorated and treated with respect without knowing anything. She touched the hem of her skirt, feeling awkward about herself wearing clothes for the first time in a long time. She felt uneasy. After finishing the opening ceremony of the festival, Distria looked at the splendidly decorated Arne. It was a face he hadn¡¯t seen in a long time since he had been busy preparing for the festival lately. She unconsciously turned her head when Distria¡¯s eyes met her. Arne was reminded of her past when she was King, until she encountered Distria. That thought didn¡¯t last long, though. ¡°Beautiful.¡± Distria gave a satisfied expression. His eyes looking at her were ferocious as if he was looking at a product. He slowly approached Arne and fastened the leash. The lace collar went well with the pure white dress. Arne gazed up at him at the cool touch on her neck. She was so shocked that she forgot her own plight. ¡°Are you sane to put a leash on me?¡± Although she was foolish to provoke Distria, she was the one who lived as the King of the Kingdom of Sorano for a long time. The time given was short to adapt to reality. ¡°Sane? I think you are crazy. You can¡¯t understand the situation now.¡± ¡®You¡¯re a prostitute who rolls her body everywhere.¡¯ Pulling the leash roughly, Distria whispered in Arne¡¯s ear. She trembled at the insult. A terribly cold reality in which she could not do anything unfolded before her eyes. He then pulled her collar, who had lowered her head with a blank expression. She couldn¡¯t resist him, so she went where he pulled her. ] ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 12 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 12 ¨C Festival Of Disasters And Pleasures (2) [ Distria threw Arne in the middle of the banquet hall. He wiped his hand with disgusted eyes as if he had touched an insect. The lights of the colorful chandelier and the eyes of many people reached Arne. She was so ashamed that it was unbearable to see herself with a leash in front of so many people. As he took his seat, loud music rang out, announcing the start of the banquet. After a while, the sound of the playing stopped slowly. Lepis stood up. He slowly recited the sins of the Kingdom of Sorano. ¡°One, the beginning of the war. To celebrate Sorano von Arne¡¯s coming-of-age ceremony, the messengers sent by the Carwen Empire returned as cold corpses. The Carwen Empire did not respect the lives of the Imperial citizens. We stood up against the provocations of the Kingdom of Sorano.¡± Lepis¡¯ low-pitched voice echoed through the banquet hall. From the moment he started speaking, Arne could not hide her astonishment. The ferocious eyes and anger-filled voice rang out like a scream. She definitely had never been like that. In the first place, she came here following the wishes of the arrogant envoys with the Empire on their backs. She felt unfair. ¡°Something like that¡­ Kugk.¡± Her body sank to the floor with a strong force pulling her collar. Arne was furious at the situation where she could not do anything. In resentment, she hit the floor with her fists. It was fists filled with anger, even that hand was crushed and blocked by the knights. When the situation was quickly settled, Lepis sighed softly and continued his quiet recitation again. ¡°Two, development. We won the war and freed the envoys who died unfairly. Third, punishment. The great emperor, His Majesty Distria, showed mercy not to kill Sorano von Arne. Her sins were paid for by the nobles of the Kingdom of Sorano. She was humbled and served as a servant in the Emperor¡¯s bedroom.¡± Shouts and applause erupted. She heard half of what Lepis had said for the first time. Her mind went blank. Her vision shook, and her eyes gleamed. Arne was outraged that the end of the kingdom of Sorano was defiled with falsehoods and fabricated facts. She glared at Distria, who was sitting, as she pressed her weakened heart once again. ¡¯I have to live. We have to rebuild the kingdom¡­ I have to correct the wrong facts.¡¯ Biting her lip, she couldn¡¯t do anything if she died so she would have to live somehow. Arne pretended not to notice her collapsing heart. Distria looked at her change of heart. It was funny though he didn¡¯t like it. It was like finding hope with her eyes shining even in the worst situations¡ªbeing useless in the face of overwhelming power. He didn¡¯t like Arne, who kept bothering his heart. He then stood on the podium. Seeing that, Lepis glanced at Distria with uncomfortable and anxious eyes. ¡°Tonight, I am going to lend the servant of the Emperor¡¯s bedroom for one day to auction.¡± Auction. He was putting her up for auction. Arne lost her sense of reality once again at the sight of Distria auctioning her one night. Her resolve, which she had just made up on, became more distant. People¡¯s voices sounded like mumbles. She felt a sly gaze staring at her. She wanted to cry. Even if she was a king, she was a person, too. Arne found her own fault. What did she do? She couldn¡¯t understand what she had done wrong and why she should be treated like this. What did she do to the Carwen Empire? She murmured in the air a question that no one would answer. ¡­Should I live like this? What will be at the end of this? If I endure like this, will the day come when I will be okay¡­? The questions she mumbled with no answer scattered in the air and disappeared. ] The crime that Lepis was reading sounded hazy. As in the original story, the destruction of the Kingdom of Sorano was not Arne¡¯s fault. No, it was my fault for knowingly opening the door. I knew, though I didn¡¯t stop. Like Arne, I could not be forcefully dragged, but I acted as if I was dragged away forcefully. It was a country that was going to perish, anyway, and it was a country that was destroyed. I didn¡¯t feel guilty. So, I rationalized it by looking for the reason for their death. I felt a little guilty, maybe because of their loyalty to Arne, who swore allegiance to her on the day of her coming-of-age ceremony. Regardless, they were destined to die. Even though I could also stop Rewan¡¯s if I worked hard to stop it, I didn¡¯t want to. Distria approached me while I was lost in thought. He grabbed my leash and made me raise my head. Ah. Was there a scene like this in the original? As a habit, I thought back at the original story. Unlike her, who found the situation terrifying, it was important for me to follow the original story to enjoy multiple people and multiple relationships. After all, that was why I came here. ¡°Tonight, I am going to lend the servant of the emperor¡¯s bedroom for one day to auction.¡± Perhaps, I was going crazy. A life filled with pleasure although it wasn¡¯t bad either. In a sense, having someone who needed me gave me tremendous value. Maybe, it was a relationship that only coveted my body¡­ Still, it didn¡¯t matter. The banquet of the nobles began with loud applause. At the same time, I was led out of the banquet hall by the handmaidens. Arne¡¯s overnight auction was held at the Masquerade Hall. The number of invitations to the masquerade was limited, and just getting them meant that they were one of the highest-ranking nobles in the Empire. I was wearing clothes that were different from before. The top was a thin fabric that went down to the navel, revealing the chest, and underneath was only a garter belt and underwear. Even if I moved a little, my chest popped out, and the maids organized my clothes on my behalf. Outside the banquet hall, the sound of exploding fireworks resounded. After the fireworks were over, people¡¯s laughter was heard along with the light music. I was tied up for a long time. I dozed off and woke up, dozed off and woke up and repeating. Soon, the noise ceased and a light came into the place where I had been confined. My eyes frowned because the light came on so suddenly. Although I wasn¡¯t used to the bright light yet, I was already dragged out by the hand that grabbed me and dragged me violently. ¡°Then, let¡¯s take a look at the item.¡± Distria¡¯s voice reached my ear. At the back of the main hall, where the masquerade was in full swing, people were lining up to participate in Arne¡¯s overnight auction. In this place where silence fell, only the sound of the nobles raising their hands could be heard. Despite the low starting price, the price had risen nearly ten times from the beginning. Some looked over my body with lust-soaked eyes. Even under the mask, the ugly eyes soaked with lust were not easily covered. That look wasn¡¯t bad. Rather, I was slowly enjoying those gazes. The strange part was that the people were looking at me with dull eyes. Because this novel was written aimed at the process of Arne¡¯s horrendous destruction, most men would lust after seeing Arne. There were descriptions that they took part in this auction either to impress the Emperor or to show off their wealth to buy her at a high price. People who wanted to buy Arne for various reasons gathered in one place. That alone was enough to excite me. As the auction came to an end, the number of nobles raising their hands gradually decreased. In the original story, the person who bought Arne was probably a young nobleman whose name was not known, or was it a wealthy merchant near the seashore¡­? [ Arne was alone in an unfamiliar room. She turned her head at the sound of the door opening. A stranger came in. He had a pretty decent appearance. Finding Arne trembling in fear, he smiled brightly. It was a smile full of kindness. He slowly approached Arne. His benevolent appearance gave her a little hope that maybe he wouldn¡¯t covet her. ¡°I guess the Emperor really hated you a lot?¡± A low ridicule. Arne¡¯s expectations plummeted to the bottom. Here, she had no one but Rewan on her side. Even then, his life and death were uncertain. Even though she didn¡¯t want to cry, she was in tears. It was so painful and lonely. She cried her eyes out. The man, who slowly approached and made eye contact, wiped Arne¡¯s tears. ¡°Take it off.¡± He said. ] ¡°The bid was successful.¡± While I was thinking about this and that, the auction was over. Those who couldn¡¯t buy my night couldn¡¯t easily take their footsteps as if it were a pity. I wandered through the auction house, glancing at the successful bidder approaching me with an anxious gaze. Only the candles in the dark space swayed to and fro in the light breeze. He called the host and whispered. The host clapped his hand to grab people¡¯s attention. ¡°The gentleman in the butterfly mask has something to prepare, so you can do whatever you want for about an hour.¡± Dark eyes gleamed in the darkness. Even though the people who were not interested in Arne¡¯s one night had left, not a few people remained. There were many cases of orgy parties between the nobles at the masquerade ball. Come to think of it, in the second half of the original story, Raphael often drugged Arne and brought her to a masquerade ball for an orgy. Arne hated it, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. She consoled herself that it was not of her own will that she was drunk on the drugs, though she eventually broke down. Of course, she would. On the other hand, I rather enjoyed the orgy party. Before joining the novel, I had met people a few times and had an orgy party in a hotel. Even though there were no drugs, it was pretty good¡ªthe beastly without time to think quickly or even to rest, without measuring the appearance and body. However, in reality, finding people you could trust was the most difficult thing. Though it was an orgy party with trusted people, the photos were leaked, and they demanded a relationship with that as an excuse. Of course, it didn¡¯t matter who I am with, but the disgusting look of having the upper hand in the relationship was difficult to bear. Despite the fact that I haven¡¯t had an orgy party since then, I liked it quite a bit. It was also when I was getting tired of having s*x with Raphael, so a new stimulus was needed. The host went out, and all the candles went out. As if waiting for the light to go out, I felt a hand touching me. It was the beginning of a long yet short night. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 13 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 13 ¨C Festival Of Disasters And Pleasures (3) ¡°¡­Huk¡± A short moan escaped my mouth. In the dark, an unknown number of hands followed my body. I was amazed. It was already filled with beasts, and only the heat remained. Someone grabbed my chin and kissed my lips. Hot liquid ran down my throat before it got down my esophagus. It was an awfully strong drink. Then, something hot was clasped in my hand. I instinctively knew it was a man¡¯s genitals. He grabbed his p*nis and shook my hand over it. I was distracted by the people who coveted me like crazy. My body was already immersed in pleasure, and I was gradually becoming more sensitive. ¡°I am not someone you can touch. Get away from me¡­ Huuk.¡± I shouted, consciously struggling to push people away from me. A firm hand gripping my thigh spread my legs apart and pushed the pillar all the way in at once. While stuck, I moved my body to and fro, trying to get rid of it. Because of the shaking of my body, the p*nis embedded inside stabbed me in various places inside, and it only made me feel better. I knew it would be a trivial rebellion, anyway, though I never thought it would make me feel better. It was a show-off action. At least as Arne, I¡¯m rejecting you guys. ¡°¡­Hup!¡± As if my actions were absurd, someone grabbed my arms and spread them out. They got on my stomach and then shoved their p*nis into my mouth. I breathed in under the pressure. The situation of being filled up and down was ecstatic. That was the beginning. Someone touched my thigh and tapped the opening of the an*s with the finger. I could feel the calluses on the hand holding the sword. It was a rough hand, still, I couldn¡¯t say anything with a man¡¯s p*nis in my mouth. A thick and long pillar came in and pierced my throat. The constant stabbing was so overwhelming that it was difficult to breathe. It was an act to satisfy their sexual desire without consideration. The man who was doing the thrusting inside took his member out as if he had ejaculated inside. Only the low, rough breathing could be heard in my ears. As soon as the man moved away, another hand grabbed my thigh tightly. They greedily put their p*nis all the way into my already wet and soggy flesh. It was longer and thicker than the man a while ago, so I gave strength to my body without realizing it. At the same time, there was a fishy taste of s*men in my mouth. ¡°¡­Hauhk¡± As he walked away, another man¡¯s thing came into my mouth. After that, the act was repeated. Someone else¡¯s stuff came in and out¡­ Some ejaculated in the chest, some ejaculated in the vagina. It was satisfactory, being coveted by someone without time to catch your breath. What was even more satisfying was that it was the world in the book, so there were no cases of small p*nises, short p*nises, three times and c*m, or anything like that. If so, I might be a little disappointed. ¡°¡­.!¡± It was painful at the touch on my chest as they squeezed it tightly though pain turned into pleasure. A woman¡¯s body needed to be handled gently¡­ That was why you don¡¯t have a lover, so you¡¯re just letting go of your sexual desire in a place like this. I was having s*x with people I didn¡¯t know their faces or names. However, not knowing was not important to me. What was important to me was the size of the manhood. The people who came in now were a little small. I wanted this fun time to pass as slowly as possible. Even though I say no every time I have time, my body was fine. ¡°Huhp¡ªHeuk, please¡­stop.¡± At the same time as the cry was made, someone else¡¯s p*nis entered my mouth. Although it was physically exhausting, what was more difficult to bear than that was the excessive pleasure. It felt like my thoughts were disappearing in a pleasant sensation. Someone else licked my tears as tears rolled down my eyes from excessive pleasure. Heat rushed through my body. There was no place that was not touched. Repeated thrusting and pounding. My open legs trembled and complained of pain. If a man¡¯s thing was not embedded inside, the s*men and love liquid was constantly flowing out together. The strong drink I was forced fed gave me a headache. I have to be alert. Even if it¡¯s good, I shouldn¡¯t moan. Even at this moment, there was only one thing I was wary of ¡ª To be found out that this made me feel good. Drunkenness made it impossible to think rationally. It was so much fun. I was sucking the genitals of the man that entered my mouth without my knowledge. Fortunately, the tongue or genitals continued to enter my mouth. There were only a few people who maintained their reason in this place already drenched in pleasure. Most of those who mixed their bodies with me smelled of alcohol. This space, which smelled of sweet chocolate, was now filled with the fishy smell of s*men. I loved this scent. It felt like my whole body was covered in s*men. After five people passed, I gave up counting. Still, it was a pity that they didn¡¯t put two at the same time because they were nobles. I was quite looking forward to it. I think I fainted for a while. This sunfish-like body often lets go of its mind. During the ten months I spent in the Kingdom of Sorano, I studied the sword diligently and exercised¡­ I couldn¡¯t sleep or eat well for about a month, so I felt like I was losing muscle, at the same time, physical strength as well. No, if it¡¯s going to be like this, why did I work out so hard¡­? Still, I was happy today. If I had been conscious, I might have had an accident because of my drunkenness. Fainting was also sleeping, and I smiled bitterly at the feeling of being quite well. Where was this place? Thinking that, I got up. No, I tried to get up. Clank. A soft rustling sound was heard. I was tied up. The pink candles on either side of me were melting with a sweet scent. As I recognized the scent, my body felt warm. No, it was already burning. As soon as I recognized the heat, I didn¡¯t do anything, but water flowed from below. A groan escaped from my mouth. I couldn¡¯t keep myself still, so I trembled. A loud rustling sound rang out. ¡°Hahk¡­ huwaang. Huhk¡­¡± My whole body was already burning hot, though I had a strange feeling that it was depressing because there was no one to touch me. I shed tears of regret. My hands and legs were tied, and there was nothing I could do. It felt like my head was going to explode out of pity and sadness. I twisted my body and only moaned. I wish someone would come and touch me. Even though I never lost my reason, I lived my life while killing the instinct of wanting to be pierced more intensely. No, it was nonsense. Rational thinking was impossible. I stopped thinking that way. ¡°Hahng. Gasp¡ªHup, heuk¡­ huhng!¡± When the light of the melted candle went out, a faint light subtly illuminated the room. Someone came into the room. My reason, who had lost my mind, could not recognize who he was. I forgot that I was an M and that I had to hide my love for sex. I just begged. ¡°P please. Huk. What to¡ªto¡­ do. A little¡­ Huk.¡± It was so laminating and painful that I couldn¡¯t get the words right. Only the thought of wanting someone to touch my body filled my mind. A loud, squeaky sound reverberated throughout the room. I only shed tears. The man, who was staring at me, came up to me. He kissed my mouth. I licked his lips and sucked his tongue. I thought that I would like him to touch the bottom as well. Seeing the love liquid already flowing down the floor like that, he laughed. ¡°The noble King of Sorano Kingdom, is there a flood below?¡± He touched me underneath. That alone gave me an org*sm. My brain and reason flickered in pure white, and my body trembled. He looked at his dirty hands and smiled contentedly. ¡°Huwang¡­ Hnnnggg, more¡­! Huwaang!¡± ¡°When you have s*x, do you cry like this?¡± He touched me lightly and teased me. I stared at him in resentment. I hated him for not touching me properly. Seeing me like that, he gazed at me with a cold gaze. ¡°It¡¯s an unpleasant look.¡± He pulled my hair. My body heated up even in the violent act without warmth. There was a sound of breathing wet with excitement. ¡°Hu¡­ Huhhk.¡± ¡°Are you squeezing even after your hair gets caught? That¡¯s great. What do you need?¡± The sound of laughter echoed in my ears. He seemed to be laughing happily before loosening the strength in his hand that had gripped my hair roughly and tidied up the scattered hair. His friendly look made me feel like he was giving me what I wanted. ¡°Huwahh¡­ Huk¡­c*c¡­k. C*ck.¡± Words that would not have come out of my mouth came out. For a moment, I was surprised by my actions. He put his finger under me and stirred it around as if praising me. That was enough, I forgot what I just thought. I wanted to hang on to him and hug him, but it was a pity that my hands were tied. I became strangely emotional, and the tears that came out were hanging from the corners of my eyes. ¡°I¡¯m going to ask you to be more polite. Say it while calling my name.¡± He whispered in my ear, smiling. Bitting my ear and touching my chest with his hand, the excitement on my n*pples had already grown stronger. My excitement was burning with his hand, gently stroking my chest with his hand, clenching my teeth. I wanted to do what he said, but I didn¡¯t know who he was. I just cried. Who was he¡­.? I had no idea what his name was. Do you not understand my heart like that? He smiled and opened his mouth. ¡°My name is Raphael.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ huhk¡ªLord Raphael¡­ Please¡­c*ck.¡± ¡°Tell me clearly.¡± Raphael¡¯s breath descended from his chest. I inhaled at the breath that touched my entrance. ¡°Hng¡­ Huhk¡­¡± Holding the sheet, I wanted to feel the slight stimulation more. It was a terribly animal-like gesture. I flinched as I moved my legs, and he licked my insides with his tongue. ¡°Hahh. Please give me c*ck¡­ Please¡­give me c*ck. Lord Rapha¡ª¡± The next moment, he shoved himself inside me. Just by putting it in, my head went white, and every time he moved inside, I reached a climax. He placed his lips against mine and mixed tongues. As he moved his back, mixing our tongues, he pinched my n*pples with his hands. I¡¯ve played a lot of games, but it was the first time I¡¯ve ever had sex that felt so good. Even without pain, I reached a climax with each continued movement. ¡°Hahk! Haang¡­ Huhh, more¡­Heuk! More¡­¡± I pleaded with him. I wanted to touch him. It was a pity that I was tied up and could not touch him. The chains were swept away by the intense movement, leaving a wound on my delicate skin. It hurt. That pain¡­ Even that felt good, so I cried and cried. It was difficult even for me to understand why it felt so good and emotional. I felt like it wasn¡¯t me. He coveted my insides, kissed me, and said I was pretty. I wept under him as he left red marks on my body. After the auction was over, the lower part of my body that was committed by this and that person was sore, though right now, I felt a more pleasant pleasure than that. I did it again and again, but it wasn¡¯t enough. I felt miserable that this lack of feeling would not be filled for the rest of my life, so I cried like a child. While crying, I struggled with the overflowing pleasure. ¡°Huwaaaannng!¡± Raphael comforted me, kissed me and stroked me over and over again ¡ª like a lover ¡ª then he got angry. He grabbed me and shook me to calm myself down. And again, like a lover¡­ My head hurt as if something was mixed up, what I am seeing and what was true¡­ I didn¡¯t know if I was crying or laughing. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 14 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 14 ¨C Festival Of Disasters And Pleasures (4) It was like a pain in the throat. My head was throbbing and aching. I felt pleased at the hazy feeling. As I slowly opened my eyes, I could see Distria staring at me with an uncomfortable expression. He grabbed my wrist. My wrists, crushed by the restraints, were stained with wounds. Even the simple touch of his hand, which had no sexual meaning, brought excitement. ¡°Huhk¡­¡± ¡°Tsk.¡± Without realizing it, a groan broke out. Distria clicked his tongue and gazed at me. It may be an illusion, but I thought it was a look of concern. Outside, the festivities could still be heard. Unlike the noisy outside, silence fell in the room. ¡°I was told that you had taken the drug that was more than four times the proper amount.¡± He gently stroked my cheek before kissing me finely and patted me on the back. At that, I found out why I was emotional. Why I acted like a beast without thinking properly was because my reason was paralyzed. For some reason, I clung to him almost like a beast and cry under him, though I was not unfamiliar with that and liked it. I wasn¡¯t offended by the fact that I was given drugs without my knowledge. Rather, I would say that I have come to know the joy of getting drugged. The lips, which were always bitten and scarred, were good today. Sucking other people¡¯s stuff made my lips swell, but it¡¯s better than a cut. ¡°I was told that your whole body would be sensitive for a while.¡± Uttering so, Distria touched the back of my hand. As he said, even with the slightest touch, I felt a burning sensation in my body. In an instant, I was engulfed in excitement and let out a hot breath. He smiled contentedly. My mind was messed up again by the heat. I didn¡¯t like the fact that it was beyond my will. Still, I knew the pleasure that filled my mind after that. I shut my eyes slowly, looking forward to his next move. ¡°¡­I didn¡¯t like this situation, but this one is fine.¡± Unlike his gestures that seemed to covet me, he carefully applied the medicine to me. Distria put crushed herbs on my wounds. I stared blankly at what he was doing. I was unfamiliar with this kind of friendly behavior. Like Rewan¡¯s blind love, all of that was unfamiliar so I unknowingly refused his hand. ¡°Haa.¡± I lifted my hand he was holding on to apply the herbs. I closed my eyes, knowing that violence would continue afterward. Contrary to my expectations, he did nothing. I stared at him silently. His hand came to me in a different sense than violence. Distria grabbed my chin and kissed my lips. I could feel the vain heat on his lips. The energy of the drug that did not subside, even a small act, filled me with enthusiasm. When he pressed his lips together, I felt his lips move as he whispered. ¡°Open your mouth.¡± When I opened my mouth slowly, his tongue ran through my mouth. I was distracted by his scent, and I grabbed Distria¡¯s shoulder. Instinct prevailed over reason, still drunk on drugs. Although I knew it, I had no idea what to do. I grabbed his body and waited for the pleasure to come. This instinctive act was better than a friendly act such as applying medicine. ¡°I was told your brain almost melted.¡± What about melting brain¡­? I was so engrossed in him touching me that I didn¡¯t quite understand what he was talking about. Distria, who stared at me for a moment, took over my body. He touched my chest and stroked my bottom. A large amount of love juice poured out. He continued. ¡°You can¡¯t even think, and you have no reason. You just become a beast for s*x.¡± He put his finger in my entrance and stirred. It was like opening up the inside before starting the relationship. The folds were swollen from overuse, though I felt excitement rather than pain at his gestures. Distria fitted his own thing and shoved it in one shot. I was busy moaning as he moved. I had the idea that, as he said, it wouldn¡¯t be so bad being a beast for s*x, anyway. A life that wanted only pleasure for the sake of pleasure¡­ It was a pretty satisfying life. ¡°I like that, too, but I want you to be a little aggressive.¡± He speeded up his hips and ruffled his hair. The arrogant eyes reached me. He smiled, folding his eyes like a half-moon. ¡°How far away do you have to go for resignation to dwell in your eyes? I look forward to that time.¡± Distria often stopped by the room and returned to satisfy my desire which was brimming with the drug, at least three times a day. I had s*x with him up to as many as five times. Even though it was physically difficult, even in the act of feeding a meal, if he touched me even a little, I would get excited and heated up. After that, of course, I couldn¡¯t eat properly, and I was busy crying under him. No, he didn¡¯t have to feed me anyway. It had been about two days now, and I was still pretty well. Reason had taken precedence over my instincts. However, I couldn¡¯t miss this opportunity to express my desires as I want, never knowing when the chance would come again. So, I was still pretending to be drunk. The doctor who looked after me said I could die because of it, though was it something I should care about¡­? All I needed to do was enjoy it. It was the third night of the festival to celebrate the victory over the Kingdom of Sorano. On the last day of the festival, Arne was branded as an imperial slave. Flowers representing the Emperor¡¯s bedroom slaves were stamped on her shoulders and thighs. It was said that getting burned by fire was the most painful pain in the world. I opened the window and glanced at the night sky. I was worried about whether I would be able to withstand the burning of raw flesh in a sane state. Oh, couldn¡¯t I just not do it? Although I am M, I didn¡¯t enjoy pain without pleasure. The night of the festival had also ripened, and the sounds of people rejoicing and the scenery full of joy caught my eye. What did Arne think when she saw this? What did she think when she saw people who enjoyed the ruin of her country¡­? It was not that she did anything wrong. All of a sudden, a moment that I was not even aware of, I had a feeling of guilt for Arne for a moment. I shook my head. After all, the country was ruined. Rewan¡¯s death was also an irreversible fate because this was a book with a fixed ending. Even if I felt that it was changing. To relieve the guilt, I lied to my heart. There was nothing I was doing wrong. ¡°¡­.¡± I was lost in thought for a moment, and I couldn¡¯t hear that someone had come. I hurriedly closed the curtains and looked at the unfamiliar intruder. I could see Lepis staring at me with a slightly bewildered expression. My eyes met him. The curtains flapped in the wind, making a loud noise. There was no need to see unless the person who came in was Distria. I just turned my head and turned to look out the window. ¡ªThump, thump. I heard Lepis¡¯ footsteps approaching me. As the distance between me and him got closer, the stronger his physique looked. He reached out from behind me and brought me to the window. When I turned my head and gazed at him, he made eye contact with me and slowly closed the window. In the room where the noise outside the window disappeared, only the sound of each other¡¯s breathing and the unknown heartbeats were heard. Even with the window closed, Lepis remained still as if he had no intention of moving. Trapped in his arms, I just waited for his next move. ¡°It is still cold.¡± ¡°¡­You don¡¯t have to worry about it.¡± ¡°It bothers me when you catch a cold.¡± He said softly. As a soft breath brushed against my shoulder, strange emotions bloomed. He put a thick coat on me, grabbed my collar, and sat me in the chair. Even though his eyes were full of tiredness and annoyance, his hand that poured soup and fed me was kind. Maybe, he was just trying not to touch me. He kept his distance from me, and I felt a certain urge to see him hate me. Impulsive thoughts of wanting to trouble him. I grabbed his wrist, feeding me the soup. In an unexpected shock, he dropped the spoon he was holding onto the floor. The spoon hit the floor and made a loud noise. His eyes met mine. I had the illusion that he was lusting for me. ¡°You don¡¯t even get enough food to eat.¡± He uttered nervously. Even in the darkness, I could hear the hazy sunken eyes and strangely irregular breathing sounds. I felt his desire. It didn¡¯t seem like an illusion. Was he lusting for me or Arne? Would you do it? To protect the character like in the original story¡­? So, who was the Lepis of that day? Who was Lepis, who hugged me tightly? I felt confused. The original was already twisted as it goes, so there was no meaning to think about it anymore. I decided not to think about the original. I searched for the original story without being able to feel the reality. Lepis leaned over and picked up the spoon that had fallen to the floor before making eye contact with me again. ¡°You seem to have no intention of eating.¡± He exhaled softly, took the bowl and left the room. When he left the room, I could feel a chill in the feeling of the sticky desire in his eyes as he glanced over me and wrapped around me. ¡­I felt coveted by his eyes? I let out a sigh of excitement. It was a bit disappointing that he left without doing anything, but it felt like I didn¡¯t want to do it with him by pretending to be drunk. I just stared blankly at the door he had left and turned my head. Contrary to his cold behavior, Lepis¡¯ coat was warm. The day I wanted to run away from so much came. Of all the contents of the original story, the scene that I felt was the most terrifying. I was dragged out of a wide cage with my hands and legs tied. My mouth was closed with a white cloth. In the original work, Arne endured the pain of burning flesh with her bare mind without even screaming. I was worried about whether I would be able to endure the pain. How could you, a human, get burned without screaming¡­? The only comforting thing was that there was still a little bit of drug. I had a meaningless thought that it would be good if the drug could function like an anesthetic. ¡°The sinner, Sorano von Arne, deserves the death penalty, though your life will be spared for the people of the Kingdom who died for you. As a slave to the Emperor¡¯s bedroom, you cannot have children until the day you die, and if you do give birth to a child, the child¡¯s right to heir to the throne is¡­¡± The official recited the instructions one by one. I didn¡¯t hear anything since I was so nervous that I didn¡¯t even understand what it was about. All I could see was an iron skewer that was cracking and burning in the fire. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 15 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 15 ¨C Festival Of Disasters And Pleasures (End) Around the handle of the iron skewer, there was a cloth wound on it, and the iron bottom was carved in the shape of a flower. The stage was filled with people¡¯s shouts. I shut my eyes as I saw the official coming with a heated skewer. How painful is the pain of burning skin? Perhaps, the weak drug would ease the pain¡­? Sweat dripped from my hands at the nervousness. ¡°Execute.¡± No, don¡¯t do that? Wasn¡¯t that way too ignorant? Even if you didn¡¯t do that, I would be a bedroom slave, anyway. I¡¯d been good so far. My body shuddered at the heat I felt behind my back. While one of the knights lowered my robe slightly to expose my shoulders, the other knights grabbed my body and sent a signal to the official. The whole process felt slow, adding to the fear. I clenched the cloth and clasped my hands. ¡®You must not scream,¡¯ I brainwashed myself countless times in my head. Soon, with the heat, the skewer touched my back. Not even a scream came out of the excruciating pain for a moment. It felt like my brain was paralyzed by the pain, so the moment it touched, there was no instantaneous pain. For a moment, as the heat was felt around the touched area, the suppressed nerves seemed to be restored, and the sudden rushing pain swallowed me. ¡°Heup¡­¡± I clenched my fists in pain that made my mind disappear. I couldn¡¯t even hear the noise of people. The pain was the only sensation that was clearly felt. It felt like I was about to lose consciousness in the excruciating pain. The anesthetic effect of this weak drug was nothing. I smelled of ripening flesh. Really, doing this one more time on the thigh¡­ Oh, the original author. ¡°Haa¡­¡± It was only after the skewer left that I let out a rough breath. It didn¡¯t matter when it touched, though at the same time as the skewer left, the burning pain struck once more. Crazy¡­ Sweat poured down like rain. My clenched hand was crushed with my fingernails and bleeding. A cold sweat ran down my head. Afterward, I still didn¡¯t scream. No, but how do you do this twice¡­? Cold water dripped down my head. Surprised by the sudden shower of cold water, I could feel the cold wind vividly, which I could not feel due to the burning pain in my shoulder for a moment. It was not a very pleasant experience to alternate between cold and hot. The cold, shivering teeth tricked me into thinking that it was better to be hot than cold. An official came with an iron skewer. I could feel the intense heat in my thighs. I just hate it both. Damn. [ Arne looked at the marks of the ripe skin leaking out. It was bitter because it did not heal, but she thought that physical pain was better than mental pain. It was better if she didn¡¯t feel any pain. Still, Arne was glad that she didn¡¯t have to hold anyone because she was not feeling well today because of the burn. Even then, she felt like she was going to burst into tears as she regretted when the existence of such an act became a measure of joy. Even though she wanted to end all of this, she corrected her thoughts every time she had a nightmare. In her dream, the people begged to be spared and to avenge them, and then they died horribly. Male or female, regardless of gender, they were harassed by the enemy, and ultimately killed by the sword. Their deaths were not peaceful. They dangled on the enemy flag and were dragged to the battlefield. A dream, but so vivid, Arne jumped out of her dream and her body shook. That was their end. That was the price of a life devoted to her. How could she, who dared to make them like that, sleep with her legs outstretched and think of a comfortable death¡­? Arne shook her head. That was not good enough. Then, she touched her hot shoulder. A groan escaped from her stinging pain. Yes, this was the pain of life that she had to pay. It was her own way and the weight of her life. Arne closed her eyes. But, why her? Why¡­? She was born King. It was a noble position, though it wasn¡¯t the life she wanted. She lived like a fool. It was the day before the coming-of-age ceremony that all those who were aiming for the throne were cleared up. Her life, which fell even more to the abyss when she barely lived, was bitter. She got up slowly. The chains hanging from her legs made a rattling sound as they moved. Glancing out the small open window, she closed her eyes, dazzled by the bright light coming through the small cracks. Arne slowly gazed down at her body and sighed. It seemed that she would not be able to escape from this place unless the flowers embroidered on her thighs were erased. She hadn¡¯t given up on her life, even if she could not tell whether this place was life or death by cutting her flesh, shaving her bones, and eventually eating herself¡­ It drove her crazy. She could neither be satisfied with this life nor give up. Despite this situation choking her, she had to live. ] Distria stroked the bumpy thighs and burned flesh. It hadn¡¯t healed yet, and I could feel a tingling pain in the area where blood was leaking out. His gestures grew seductive, and he touched the insides of my thighs. Every time he stimulated the tender inner flesh, excitement filled me instead of pain. His hands groped inside, stabbed, and at the end, I had a naughty thought. I wished his p*nis would fill me inside. Contrary to such thoughts, he crushed herbs and put them on my thigh. ¡°I¡¯m very happy with it as it¡¯s a sign that you belong to me.¡± Though he rolled me over to other people? Is he crazy¡­? A question I couldn¡¯t get out of my mouth lingered. Distria smiled contentedly, unaware of my question. He made eye contact and kissed my lips. His soft tongue ran through my teeth, and our saliva mixed. I was mesmerized for a moment by the ecstatic kiss before I pushed him away. I wanted to hug him without even thinking about rebelling, thinking it would be compensating for the pain, but I shook my head. Not yet. Not yet. I enjoyed the masochistic relationship of being beaten and cursed rather than the relationship between two people who liked it. After all, it was good to be completely dominated. Because of the cold water pouring down on a winter day, I got a fever and was ill for a long time, even after taking medicine for two days. Besides, lying on my face hurt my thighs, and lying on my back would hurt my shoulder. It was a really useless and detailed setting, so I cursed a lot. The strange thing was that on the shoulder was a flower, but on the thigh was a butterfly. In the original, both were flowers. I did not know what this butterfly symbolized. Right now, how to sleep until it healed was more important than the meaning of the butterfly. The changed engraving did not give me any meaningful value. ¡°Didn¡¯t you like it a few days ago?¡± ¡°It was just that I was on drugs, I was sick.¡± It was because of the treatment. Distria smiled softly and stroked my chin at the low-pitched voice. His hand gently caressing my chin came down slowly and deliberately to my shoulder. Pain rushed through the hand that touched it for a brief moment. I bit my lip to contain the scream. As if he knew my intentions, he gently stroked my shoulder. ¡°Cry like you did back then.¡± ¡°Uhk¡­ I¡­won¡¯t.¡± At that, his hand on my shoulder grew rough. I bit my lip in pain. I groaned at the herbs he had put on and squeezed on my shoulder till the herbs oozed out. It was not about giving me medicine or anything. A harsh breath filled with pain escaped my mouth. He let out a sigh of excitement. He was excited to see me in pain. He was also a bit of a pervert. Of course, I was more perverted than he was. He forced my legs apart and slid his fingers in. His hand still touched my shoulder. Feeling pleasure like pain, I trembled. After a while, my bottom was dripping with love liquid. Distria¡¯s breath, wet with excitement, reached my ear. ¡°Even though something like that happened, I think you¡¯re fine.¡± ¡¯I want you to break down soon.¡¯ He whispered in my ear, then pushed his p*nis inside me. I bit my lip, fearing that a moan would leak out of the unexpected pleasure. He put his finger in and forced my closed lips to open. As he stroked my tongue with his fingers and scanned my teeth, the thick saliva soiled his fingers. ¡°Huhk¡­¡± A moan escaped from my forcibly opened mouth. He poked through my mouth a few more times before pulling his saliva-covered fingers out. Distria put his wet hand in his mouth and sucked it as if he didn¡¯t care. It felt like I had a deep kiss with him, even though my lips didn¡¯t even touch the obscene face, and my tongue didn¡¯t even mix with his. ¡°You seem to like violent relationships, you look wetter than on drugs.¡± Distria, who slightly removed our connected part, laughed. His p*nis was glistening with my love liquid. As we sat facing each other, he put his thing back in and started moving quickly. After finding out where I had felt it during the s*x while taking drugs, he relentlessly attacked only there. Every time he moved, the thigh beneath him was swept away, complaining of pain. It hurt. Seriously, it hurt as the wound hadn¡¯t healed yet, though it was just as good. Yes, painful pleasures were really exhilaratingly intense and enjoyable. Every time his manhood slammed inside me, a heavy breath came pouring out. Every time his hot and hard stuff inside was filled with moisture, he gave me a creepy pleasure. His c*ck was so damn big. It was thick and made me feel excited every time he did it. Like the Emperor in the novel, he was big and ruthless, and his technique was good. Unknowingly, I put my nails up in the pleasant s*x that felt like my reason would fly away. As I dug my nails into his wide back, Distria took a deep breath and kissed me. He slowly lowered his hand from my shoulder and stroked my back. Stimulated by his touch, my lower part spit out more love liquid and tightened his genitals. ¡°Kugh¡­ Contrary to saying you don¡¯t like it, you bite my c*ck and won¡¯t let it go?¡± He whispered obscene words in my ear. I got even more excited when Distria spat obscene words than Raphael. The words of a person who seemed unlikely to do so were even more irritating, to the extent that I wish he could say something more obscene. Contrary to my wishes, he had since then kissed me, sucked my breasts, and licked my ears as if concentrating on the s*x. He only left fine red marks on my cheeks, neck and chest, but he didn¡¯t say any more naughty things to me. A few more affairs and climaxes. Seeing his genitals glistening with love liquid and s*men, I thought of wanting to suck it although he didn¡¯t give orders to suck his c*ck. That was a bit sad. If he had held on to my hair and acted forcibly, telling me to ¡®Suck it!¡¯ I could suck it and wash it well while pretending to not like it¡­ Distraught in disappointment, I chewed my mouth without knowing it while thinking crazily, ¡®I wish I could do more.¡¯ Maybe, I came here in search of a warm d*ldo regardless of what the original story was. It really was an exciting s*x life in many ways. I really liked how things that felt unreal to me were real to them. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 16 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 16 ¨C Raphael (1) Trigger Warning: This chapter includes content about child predatory and non-consensual. Please take caution before reading, discretion is advised. ¡ª ¡°Uwaa! Uwaa!¡± The child cried loudly and greeted the moment of birth. It was the birth of a child that everyone had been waiting for. The child¡¯s mother comforted the crying child and waited for the child to wake up. When the child finally opened his eyes and met eyes with his mother who gave birth to him, the expression on the mother¡¯s face that the child first saw was not a happy one, but a cold one. The child did not have a name. For convenience, people took the child¡¯s golden hair and called him ¡®Gold.¡¯ Still, the child was not dissatisfied with the absence of his name. He was rather grateful that he hadn¡¯t been thrown out. The child was born in a brothel, and two or three children were abandoned on the street every day. Half were never even born. Because of that, the child was satisfied. He was grateful that he was born and his useless self was not abandoned by the person who gave birth to him. He was so happy with that little thing. The child was brought up in a decent environment for being born in a brothel. He could read and write, he had no experience in receiving guests. He was different from other children born and raised in brothels. Until then, the child thought his mother loved him, so he tried to be loved. Eventually, the child grew up and when he was seven, the child found out why he wasn¡¯t abandoned, and why his mother gave birth to him. It wasn¡¯t about blood, and it wasn¡¯t about maternal love either. The child was fortunately born at the right time. Before having the child, his mother had a relationship with a noble. She used the child to the noble so that she could become his mistress, at the very least. She gave birth to him so that she could get a penny more. However, as a result, the child was not a child of the noble. The woman despaired that the child she had cherished for ten months was a worthless bloodline. The look of the child reminded her of the blond young man who smiled shyly one day to show sympathy. The woman even thought that she would abandon the child. This was a place where a penny was precious. Because of the money, the security was not good enough that murders occurred frequently. It was a city where marginalized people lived, and those who grew up in poor living conditions had no moral sense. In this busy place to eat and live, morality was one of the unnecessary knowledge. The woman raised her child, remembering the appearance of the handsome young man. She thought this kid would be worth it. The child found out later that she was not a philanthropist and he was only brought in because she thought he was useful. It was a sweet life that made him forget his plight. He accepted the days that were sweet enough to forget his plight even for a moment. His own mother was a prostitute, and the people who feed him were also prostitutes. They worked to make money, and they ate with the money they earned. Now, the child was being dragged into the room they used to receive guests. He struggled as much as he could, though the child was still dragged around without strength. Tears flowed from the child¡¯s eyes. ¡­If that was the case, just throw him away, don¡¯t let him be born. Contradictory feelings bloomed. ¡°He¡¯s a boy, but isn¡¯t he pretty?¡± They showcased him as if they were introducing merchandise. It was widely known that in the walls of the city, men with a neat and clean face who were unlikely to come here were quite unique. He had only had relationships with children under the age of ten¡­ And, in a very violent way. He killed more than a dozen children. Even the child who came here led by a woman had heard the rumor and knew it well. The sound of his cruel treatment of children was lurking in the brothel. The reason why he was not sanctioned was because he was a nobleman, gave a lot of money, and had more children coming in than dying. The child was afraid of him. Death was scary. He was terrified of this world leaving such a killer alone. Because of that, his anger rose. Why was he born in a place like this¡­? If he had been a nobleman, he wouldn¡¯t have been treated this way. If only he was a nobleman¡­ He had a meaningless thought. The mother who gave birth to him and the women who raised him up to this point threw him here. It was like they didn¡¯t care if the child died or not. The man nodded his head. It meant it didn¡¯t matter if it was a boy. ¡°Have a good time.¡± The woman shut the door. In the end, the child lived. He was driven to the brink of death, and he barely survived. Heat rose from his body, and the child suffered from shock for a long time. The child was relieved to be alive, though he was terrified that they would abandon him, who was ill and unable to work. The child thought that human beings were indeed cunning. From time to time, the child met the man. Every time the child met the man, he was terrified that he might die. Still, the child chose to spend the night with him, fearing that he might be abandoned if he did not do it with the man. Always, the day after he slept with the man, he was very ill and did not eat well. The meat side dish was served on the table. The child ate the meat side dish and vomited it up. It was disgusting that the child had to give up everything to get a meat side dish, though without even that, the child had no intention of living. Because he knew that the only cold meat dish on the table was his mother¡¯s way of expressing love. It was painful to be hung up on that simple and insincere love, but the little child was hungry from love. When the child was ten, he was freed from the man¡¯s hands. The child was happy, but not very happy. Now he rolled his head as to where to prove his utility. The child despaired, as all he could do was barely escape the night. After that, the child spent the night with several people. The child had no reason to cling to them who had given him tragedy. Still, the child was afraid to be alone, and the situation was better here than in other stores. It was the same everywhere he went. Sell ??your body and get money. Nevertheless, the child knew that in this place was treated like a human being. They gave him rest when he was sick, and they shared some of the money he had earned. The fifteen-year-old child wandered the streets. He occasionally drank in bars and used drugs. Alcohol and drugs were established as essential cultures in brothels. If he didn¡¯t let his mind go, it was difficult to live. They were forced to drink and do drugs. He spent all his money on alcohol and drugs. The child had a hard time understanding it. Nevertheless, they could not be happy for a moment without it. Waking up from the dream, they despaired. Not wanting to feel the emptiness, there were many drug addicts in the brothel. He didn¡¯t know why they had to live like that, though he wanted to live. He wanted to live happily. The child had an extraordinary talent for seeing people. Although it was ironic that it might be a talent after sleeping with a lot of people in a brothel. The child decided to think well. The child took nobles and knights to his shop, where his abilities were recognized. He was glad that he no longer had to spend the night with others. The child began to learn something with the money falling into his hands. ¡­Perhaps, he could get out of here, maybe, very possibly, in a situation that got better with his own efforts? He had an idea. At seventeen, as an adult, he gave up hope when he started working with women. No matter how hard he tried, the only value he had in himself was ¡®sex.¡¯ A handsome male. That was all he was valued at. No matter how hard the child tried, no matter how much he studied, it was not necessary here, just like the knowledge that didn¡¯t need morals. Everything the child was learning and trying was unnecessary. Ugly nobles who treated him as they please, those with strange tastes¡­ The women of the brothel, who entertained people they did not like, also released all their resentment toward the child. Instinctively, they knew he was weaker than themselves. The child did nothing wrong. It was just gratifying. The child saw the one who raised him. Those things didn¡¯t really matter here. Still, the child felt grateful that the person who gave birth to him did not make such demands on him. It was a very thin threshold of gratitude (the size of the smallest stimulus that could cause excitement in sensory cells). He cried out in despair that I could not get out of this place no matter what he did. Why me¡­ Why me¡­ So far, he had not felt dissatisfied with his lack of a name. He was just grateful to be alive. For the first time, the child felt bitterness at the lack of name and no last name. Torn books rolled on the floor. He glanced at the books lying on the floor and couldn¡¯t hide his disappointment. He just laughed at it. He laughed and pretended to be crazy, tossing things on the floor and shattering dishes. Still, the feeling of emptiness and disappointment continued to grow. Papers were used to kindle fires and heat the room. The child was drinking at the bar. The child was still nameless, and his heart was empty, filled with only anger against the nobles. Why didn¡¯t they come to this place and save them while living to the fullest¡­? Why didn¡¯t they just give him the right to live like a human being? He drank. He understood why people were spending all their hard-earned money on alcohol and drugs. Even though he hated living like a fool, he didn¡¯t have the courage to die. ¡°I heard that the Fourth Prince is coming to the brothel this time?¡± In the noisy bar, the mention of the prince pierced his ears. Silence hung over the noisy bar. Different people thought the same thing. Captivate the Prince and use his life as collateral. It must have been a pretty important topic, and even though the hall was quiet, they didn¡¯t want to stop talking. Rather, they raised their voice and told the story to the people in the bar as if they were advertising it. ¡°Why¡­? What brings him here? How did a noble prince come to such a distance?¡± ¡°That, the mother who gave birth to the Fourth Prince was pushed out and went to this brothel¡­¡± The child did not listen to their story until the end and left the room. He thought that wherever he went, there would only be disgusting things. It would be people like him who spat blood. Nails neatly trimmed and hands covered in calluses. Even though it¡¯s a bar, it looked like they were sitting at an angle. The man who spread the Prince¡¯s information was a knight. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 17 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 17 ¨C Raphael (2) Information about the Fourth Prince was scattered around the brothel. The street where the child lived was no longer the street where the child used to live. Only ugly lives and nothing but murders lingered on the streets. They weren¡¯t crazy, having spent the day drunk and drugged. From the day they heard the information, they had been looking forward to the day the Prince would come. Although they may find it foolish to believe in information from unknown sources, they hang on blindly like they saw hope because they didn¡¯t want to live like this anymore. Those who grew up in poor living conditions had no morals. They didn¡¯t know it was wrong to kidnap the Prince. Black hair and red eyes. Unlike the Crown Prince, it was clear that the information about the veiled Prince was fast spreading. No one noticed anything strange. Occasionally, there were people who felt strange and left themselves out. The child did not belong to either class. From that day on, the child thoroughly inspected the passersby. Gait and arms sway. It was very rare that a person as tall as a prince would come without any preparation. Unlike other people, the child had an excellent eye for seeing people. He followed the crowd, centered around brown hair and red eyes, that nobody cared about. The hair color could be covered with a wig, though not the eyes. The gait of the red-eyed man moved like a street tycoon, but not the party. Footsteps as if they were measured with a ruler and the sway of the angled arms. Sometimes, even waved his hand as if consciously. It was obviously learned. Rather, it seemed like it would have been safe for the Prince to come alone, so something made him laugh. The child followed them slowly. He pursued them undetected, but he never learned a sword and did not know how to follow. The child was led into a secret alley, a dead end, and thought he might die. The dagger flew past his ear and was nailed to the wall. ¡°Who are you?¡± An ugly look lingered around the Prince. The child was sweating in a cold sweat. The child calmly looked at their group. The red-eyed prince was a man who had learned the sword, and two knights were in the party of four. At that, the child thought that he had seen one of the two knights somewhere. The knights exchanged hand signals. The child knew that the exchange of glances between the two knights was not to kill him. The subtle wariness that the Prince sent to the two knights or the gaze that was staring at him confirmed the position of the Prince¡¯s sword. It wasn¡¯t meant to kill him. The child pulled out the dagger that was stuck in the wall. He ran as fast as he could, risking everything of his own to this act. He thrust the sword precisely into the vein of the knight¡¯s neck. As he quickly pulled out a dagger that didn¡¯t come off easily, he thrusted the dagger into the heart of the knight wielding the sword at him. All attacks hit vital points. The child thought he was lucky. The paper that the child studied that now became a spark was a medical book. The child covered in bright red blood smiled brightly. ¡°Let me be on your side, then I¡¯ll make you emperor.¡± It was all a gamble, and the child won as a result. The Fourth Prince, who was adept in both swordsmanship and learning, was loved by the Emperor. The Emperor gave priority to his abilities, and the Fourth Prince gave the Emperor satisfaction under all conditions. It was only natural that there would be forces trying to harm him. Even though the Fourth Prince knew that his mother being in a brothel was a trap, he moved on. Affection for the mother. There was no such thing from birth. The group that the emperor wanted for politics was people who did law exclusively and without private feelings. He grew up letting go of personal feelings, such as love, friendship, and anger. Still, the reason he had to go was to find the traitor. The Fourth Prince knew that those who followed him were serving other lords. The trap that he fell into knowingly was not dangerous. The dangerous thing was they were trying to harm him. He found an unexpectedly useful thing in that garbage dump. During that brief time, the child was alert to those who wanted to harm him. He was quick-witted. Besides, he liked his bold guts to place bets on the verge of death. The Fourth Prince gave him the name [ Raphael ] because he had no name. One of the messengers of the Gods, the archangels. One of the names of the three major temples on the continent. He whispered to the child, waving his hand, that it was an excessive name. ¡°If what you said is a lie, I will tear off your wings and let you fall to the ground. From bliss in heaven you thought would last forever, I¡¯ll drop you down to hell.¡± Despite the Prince¡¯s threats, the child smiled brightly. He had to be that terrible to become an emperor. Tear the child to death when he no longer needed him. So, the child became Raphael. After that, the number of children dying in brothels decreased. A lot of blood was sprayed to put the Fourth Prince on the throne. It was like an annual event. The Prince was terribly cruel and had to kill all his brothers to become emperor. Distria killed all his own brothers and became the Emperor. The process was not always smooth. Raphael went through the hurdles of death more than his fingers could count. There were also a lot of people trying to convince Raphael, who had come into Distria. Since he had a great eye for people and knew that no one was more suited to the throne than Distria. There were many things that took place from the position of the Prince, who had been neglected, to establish his power. Although Raphael was his close friend, he was criticized because of his birth. He was told that if he behaved nobly, he would struggle in basic things. Nevertheless, if he behaved in a promiscuous manner, he would be insulted in front and behind, saying that he did not know how to behave properly because he had no origin. Even though he struggled to get out of that hell, it felt like he was being thrown into mud again. He struggled to live as a human being. He thought he would be happy if he got out like that. But, it wasn¡¯t. He wanted to be recognized. He wanted to be happy. He didn¡¯t know because he had nothing, and people were crafty. And, the more they get, the more they want to get something. The year Raphael was twenty-three. It was the day of the coronation ceremony of the Emperor, Distria. It had been six years since he met him, a short time yet a long time. Raphael glanced up at him in a red cloak and a gleaming golden crown. All of that went terribly well with Distria. He bowed his head, expecting Distria to give him a new title. ¡°Raphael, I appreciate your work. But, I will not give you a title.¡± Distria laughed arrogantly. Raphael felt his expectations plummet to the bottom. Was it because of his birth? If he was a baron and not a child born in a brothel, he would have been given the duke¡¯s position. Thinking that, he clasped his hands in his misery. Although he was outraged by Distria¡¯s treatment, he did not intend to respond. He couldn¡¯t. In the first place, even though he was aware of the ceremony held when Distria became the Emperor of the Empire, Distria did not kill him. He was satisfied with that alone. How dare someone like him covets a noble position¡­? Six years later, Raphael¡¯s threshold of satisfaction was still low. ¡°One, I will give you all the power that the founder of the country can enjoy. The name of the position will be [ Raphael ].¡± Raphael knew that the Emperor had given him the greatest gift he could ever give. However, he did not need such a position and authority. A nobility¡¯s surname¡­ He wanted a title. No matter how great the authority he had, he was a noble without a castle. Raphael quickly blamed his thoughts, which quickly changed like the palm of his hand. He was a deceitful human being. Raphael was assigned an office and residence near the Emperor¡¯s bedroom. It was a sign that the Emperor trusted him. In addition, he was given a gift of an old castle in the Capital, and a house right in front of the Imperial Palace, which had been used by the officials of the Empire from generation to generation. Raphael had killed countless people while making Distria Emperor, and he looked at the results obtained. It looked like it had no substance, even though it was laid out on paper. He got as much as he tried, he thought, and he felt no guilt for his own killings. Because he thought that people did not die when their hearts stopped. He felt no guilt. He didn¡¯t feel guilty about killing people who were alive after seeing those who didn¡¯t seem to be alive. The person in front of him was also like that. Raphael stared at Distria, who had come close to him. ¡°Are you disappointed that I didn¡¯t give you a surname?¡± ¡°No. I am satisfied with what I have already received.¡± Distria laughed bitterly. He handed Raphael the glass of wine he was holding in his hand. The glasses collided, and there was a refreshing sound. Raphael sniffed the incense and put the wine in his mouth. A bitter taste lingered on his lips. By the time he slowly savored the wine, Distria had already finished his glass. Originally, his actions were vulgar, deserving of criticism for not being able to enjoy the aroma and taste of wine. Nonetheless, there was no sense of vulgarity in Distria¡¯s actions. ¡°The reason I didn¡¯t give you a surname is because I hope you don¡¯t forget the desperation you had when I first met you.¡± At his words, Raphael stared at him. Distria left his seat, placing the empty glass on the table. Raphael looked at the empty glass. He had climbed all the way up to the top, though he was still low, and it was unfortunate that he did not belong anywhere. He tore and killed those who insulted him. He made an example of those who pointed out that his actions were not noble and put them in a brothel¡­ Still, the emptiness he felt did not diminish. Rather, it grew in size like a monster. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 18 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 18 ¨C Raphael (End) Two years from that, he went to the brothel where he had grown up. The streets were still there. He remembered an idea that he once had as a child. ¡®When I become a noble, I won¡¯t live like that.¡¯ Thinking about it now, that was pretty funny. He wanted to transform this street into a space full of happiness and dreams. However, it was impossible. One day, he had expressed the opinion that they should invest in streets of prostitutes or underdeveloped villages. They then replied with a laugh, ¡®If there is light, there must also be darkness, so that won¡¯t do.¡¯ It was a terribly disgusting reason, Raphael said to himself. He put on his hoodie and went to the store. He didn¡¯t have good feelings for the women who raised him. Having had such a childish thought that he wanted revenge on those who treated him as much, still, he was in the past. ¡°Welcome.¡± He followed the waitress who greeted him to the room where the women were waiting. It was not yet an active time, though the room was full of women. They seduced him, who was in fine clothes, with a playful smile. Raphael glanced at the women with cold eyes. There were no women he knew. There was no woman who gave birth to him and raised him. He was taken aback for a moment before grabbing the employee and shaking him. ¡°Where did the woman with the silver hair and brown eyes go?¡± He recounted the appearance of the one who gave birth to him. There were so many women who died so often that the waitress could not remember the woman he was talking about. Raphael thought about the woman¡¯s age. Though he did not know her age. There it was. When he wandered the streets without saying a word, when he disappeared silently and put blood on his hands and set up the Emperor. When he received the title of Raphael and was being beaten by the noble society, the woman died¡­ Raphael felt something cut off. He never thought for a moment that he wanted to be successful and did good to the woman because he thought that only those who work hard could be happy. Nonetheless, he thought of the past years he had passed. The child did not expect his mother¡¯s love, but remembered her indifference to him. The cold meat side dish was the only affection he could fully feel. It was twisted. Where he was desperate to survive, a meat side dish was once the only reason he lived. Although it was embarrassing to even call it motherhood or love, for a child who was in need of a piece of love, it was enough of a reason for living. There was no place to express his anger, no place for his achievements to be recognized, and his past had disappeared. His past, as he stumbled upon it, was gone. He disappeared, as no one knew of his past. It was unbearably sad that the past when he cried and struggled, and the achievements of him crawling upwards had become a fictional story that only he now knew. He took drugs he had never done since he lived in the Imperial Palace. He enjoyed colors he had never seen before. He held this woman and that woman without hesitation. People on the street looked up to him. They respected him very much. In bed, everyone acknowledged Raphael, and whispered pleasant words that he was cool and the best. That temporarily filled the emptiness inside. He didn¡¯t even know what he was wandering this street for. What was the reason he was standing here, soaked in blood and losing his humanity? He couldn¡¯t change anything. Empty, empty, and empty¡­ ¡­Then, anger. He didn¡¯t like the nobility. He wanted to pluck out their tongues, who said that if there was light, there must be darkness. Only the poor know the privileges of the rich. They did not know the value of what they were enjoying. Of course, they didn¡¯t even know how to give. Their donations were frivolous and pretentious, and the lowly people did not know what they really needed. At a Count¡¯s charity party, he drank while listening to their disgusting and pretentious stories. It was what he expected from a charity party. ¡°Count Loneston put a clock tower on the brothel street.¡± ¡°Oh, my! That¡¯s good. As expected, the wealth of Count Loneston is great.¡± ¡°Also, Lady Arren donated the dress she didn¡¯t wear to a salon run by commoners.¡± ¡°Oh, my¡­ she was still young, but she was amazing.¡± How the poor had a watch, and how they wore fancy dresses¡­ Even so, they wouldn¡¯t even think of ripping off the accessories on the dress that the nobleman gave them and selling it. Raphael stared at the party full of pretense and vanity. He covered his mouth as he felt his disgust creeping in. He stumbled out of his seat while trying to look for the terrace. Other people¡¯s gossip stuck in Raphael¡¯s ears. ¡°That¡¯s why he has low status because he donated bread to a brothel this time.¡± ¡°He must have donated what he wanted to eat. They say he grew up there.¡± Hundreds of eyes stared at him. It was hard for him to breathe, as all the other people¡¯s words that were whispering in his ear seemed to be aimed at him. He wanted to scream. Disgusting, disgusting, and it was hard to even breathe, so he gasped for breath. Still, he was holding his breath. Why was he here, what was he here for. He wanted to live. He wanted to live happily. But, his happiness was nowhere to be found. A year has passed since then. He was twenty-six years old. Raphael was living a long life. He heard rumors that Distria had summoned the King of a small kingdom. He thought that Distria¡¯s disease had risen again. At first, he only expressed his condolences to the King, though he was too tired to breathe, so he paid no attention to the King. When he happened to find her quietly reading a book in the library, it felt like something in his heart was falling apart. That was enough for Raphael to bring out the trauma he had forgotten. ¡­That one chance made him forget his pain and dropped him, who was barely alive, into the abyss. Even in Distria¡¯s face, she was upright and answered him with a calm face. Even though he made Distria emperor, he himself was busy holding his breath in front of him as well. Even when she was arrested, she was confident. She was upright. That was humorous. It was so humorous. He laughed so much in the room because it was so funny. He gave up on being human, he gave up on being recognized, and he gave up on being happy in high places. He wanted her to be just like him¡­ Raphael¡¯s feelings towards her were neither resentment nor anger. It was just a remnant of the ugly, old feelings that were sleeping inside. He didn¡¯t know why he was mad at her, why he had ugly feelings blooming for her. Raphael faced Arne, who had become a slave. She was still upright. Even though she was wearing revealing clothes, she never bowed down or withdrew her body. He didn¡¯t like it. He was told that she had spent the night with Distria. He was told that when she was King, she was raped like a bedroom slave. The rumor was spread secretly by the nobles. Vivid scarlet marks that had not yet been erased on her inner skin, which he could see at first glance through the transparent clothes, stimulated him. If he was to freely play with noble blood under him, would this raging anger subside¡­? He thought so. Raphael spoke as he said something Distria had never done. ¡°This is something His Majesty wanted to deliver. Sit at the desk and spread your legs.¡± He wanted to see her shaking her body in shame. He expected her reaction. ¡°You¡­ Aren¡¯t you afraid of the repercussions after saying this?¡± It was funny, how she struggled. Nevertheless, he did not like the fact that she was not subservient even at that moment, and that she was maintaining her dignity. He couldn¡¯t stand the feeling of disgust in the eyes that stared down at him arrogantly. ¡­Why? Why are you looking at me with those eyes? Raphael grabbed Arne¡¯s arm roughly and dragged her to the desk. He took off her robe and used it to tie her arms. He forcibly grabbed her legs and spread them apart, poking at her private parts with a pen. He, himself, has been living his life with his legs spread wide since he was a child. He was overjoyed to be able to mistreat this woman who looked down on others from high above. Something filled his empty heart. ¡°Uhk¡­¡± She let out a soft moan. Raphael liked that she had reacted to him in this way, even though she would not have looked at him normally. That was enough to calm his anger, so he genuinely laughed. ¡°You are more lewd than you looked?¡± Loosening his belt, the pen that had stabbed Arne was already wet with love liquid and was lying in the corner of the desk on the floor. He couldn¡¯t stand it any longer. He shoved his thing into her entrance at once and pushed Arne roughly. Books fell from the bookshelf, making a loud noise, but he didn¡¯t care. Raphael only focused on the woman in front of him. He frowned heavily and focused on the woman biting her lip with a crying face. Her expression, the sound of her breathing, every little thing. ¡°Heup¡ªDo you think it¡¯s okay to do this?¡± ¡°Hahh¡­ You¡¯ve already done it with the Emperor. What¡¯s the matter?¡± He smiled brightly. His smile was as bright as a flower in full bloom. Raphael laughed heartily, as this resentment that had been holding his lungs down made him unable to breathe, he finally could breathe as it reduced its size. After he had s*x with Arne, he met several nobles. To relieve his own anger, he trampled on them, forcibly insulted them and held them. Still, Raphael¡¯s anger did not diminish. He looked at the woman who was hanging on to him and moaning, and he thought of Arne. He remembered her, who even when she was drenched in wetness in his arms, had held her head in contempt at him. Those eyes that didn¡¯t change even though she shed tears. Those eyes that didn¡¯t change even after s*x¡­ Even though he hated it so badly, it was Raphael¡¯s idea that he could do whatever he wanted to give her that look, reducing his anger. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to hold the rebellious her. He wanted to trample and tear her at will. How long would this anger go away by trampling on others? Even though he knew it was an illusion, he rushed to fill the empty inside with something. When he met her walking on four legs in her garden, he felt a similar feeling of joy. It was a forgotten, positive emotion, and he did not want to give it up. He didn¡¯t want to miss out. It decreased, decreased. Then, it filled¡­ Filled. Raphael was sad. He felt like he was living like a human now. The happiness he had longed for¡ªthe happiness he hoped for even as he threw away his humanity was the happiness that came from swearing at someone, not his life itself. It was sad. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 19 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 19 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (1) After the festival was over, there were two things that changed in my ordinary daily life. First, Raphael, who came to have s*x from time to time, did not come. Second, Acacia, Distria¡¯s bodyguard, took care of me. So much had changed that I couldn¡¯t seem to say that I was now in a novel. Raphael, who had come mainly for s*x, did not come often. In addition, Distria had been busy lately, so he didn¡¯t show his nose. It had already been over fifteen days since I forcibly had to abstain¡ªtwenty-two days, to be exact. Wow, I¡¯d never had s*x for more than ten days in the original world. What R19 tragic harem novel is this¡­? I didn¡¯t expect this. Then, I glanced at Acacia, who was leaning against the door. That bastard was as good as dead. I recalled the past when I tried to seduce him to satisfy my sexual desire. [ Can you put some medicine on her shoulder? ] While barely showing my breastbone and white mounds, I acted naturally as if it was something I didn¡¯t know. I lowered my head as if waiting for his hand. [ Please, come here ] He put medicine on my shoulder. It wasn¡¯t painful because it was slowly healing, though I made a shrill sound as if I was trying to endure the pain. As I glanced at him, pretending to be bewildered, his hand stopped and grabbed my clothes. At that moment, I prayed for him to take off his clothes. [ Your outfit is disheveled. ] However, he arranged the clothes while being careful not to touch the wound. At the same time as my hopeless expectations fell to the floor, I was embarrassed and ashamed and kicked the blankets every night. It was slowly and gently in fear that Acacia would find out about it. How did I end up kicking my blankets every night? What, what¡­! Anyone who saw me found me beautiful, pretty, and sexy. Why couldn¡¯t he agree? Ha, yes. Originally, I had no intention of doing something like that. It was an act that I did without knowing that I could not stand the no-s*x life for a week. Nonetheless, I failed once and said, ¡°He is an eunuch.¡± I couldn¡¯t do it because I was in a state of dissatisfaction with what I had to say. The regret remained, so I tried two or three more times. Every time I did, he was still stiff. I was rejected. Besides, he didn¡¯t even seem to know what my actions meant. In the end, I had no choice but to say that I looked forward to the start of the original novel because there are many men I can have s*x with, d*ldos were walking down the hallway. Why can¡¯t I do it! Why¡ª! I hit the pillow again because of the rising anger. I thought it was because of Raphael who didn¡¯t come and the busy Distria. I gazed at Acacia again. A calm black eye that contrasts the gorgeous pink hair color. He had his long hair tied up with a black string. He had an enchanting beauty no matter how you looked at it. He was not like Arne, but he was a beautiful person. He was a masterpiece. Feeling my gaze, Acacia opened his mouth. ¡°Do you need anything or feel uncomfortable?¡± ¡ªYour lost s*x drive. As I shook my head, I stopped at the scene that flashed through my mind for a moment. Knights g*ngbang route! Why did I forget that? It was a big event right after the festival was over. Not immediately in time, but after Arne¡¯s scar has healed. Well¡­ About thirty days after the festival? So, about now¡­ Realizing that, I jumped for joy inside. In the original novel, Acacia and Arne met for the first time. Of course, I didn¡¯t mean to have s*x with him. He was an eunuch. Knights g*ngbang route. I knew it started when the Emperor met Arne, though how and why? I couldn¡¯t remember meeting the Emperor. Actually, I couldn¡¯t even remember what I ate yesterday. It was unreasonable to remember all the trivial details of a novel that I had only read once in the first place. Besides, since the original story was already ruined, I wondered if it would make sense for me to act like in the novel. Still, the significant events in the original would proceed by themselves. However, since it was so boring, shall we speed up the process a bit? Hmm. How could I successfully ride the g*ngbang route? As I pondered for a moment, I eventually thought of going back to Distria¡¯s spirit. If I upset him, wouldn¡¯t he take care of putting me into the 22nd Knights¡¯ room? ¡°I want to see Rewan.¡± I thought of the words that would make Distria angry if he heard it and then spit it out. I was proud of myself. Wow, my light head sometimes works like this. Very commendable. I waited a long time for Acacia to respond. To his surprise, Acacia showed no reaction like when the sun went down. Shouldn¡¯t he have to go to the Emperor to tell him about my rude words, get angry with me, or react in some way¡­? I wondered if he didn¡¯t hear me, so I said again clearly ¡°I want to meet Rewan. I have to see him.¡± Still, he didn¡¯t respond to my words. I stared at Acacia, who stood silently guarding his place. Was this bastard ignoring me now? Do you have an eunuch temper? I swore to myself. Someday, I would definitely get him once. The morning was always bright today. The no-s*x life was already running towards a month. I felt like I was going crazy with the unbearable s*x drive. I want to have s*x, s*x! Even though I wanted to masturbate, I couldn¡¯t do anything because Acacia was looking at me with sad blue eyes. He didn¡¯t sleep, he was near the door at night and at dawn. It was when I took a bath that Acacia disappeared. ¡­Yes, even when I was taking a bath, the maids came in one after the other and washed me. Could I masturbate? There was no time to be alone. No, what kind of sexual slavery was being taken care of like this? I couldn¡¯t believe it. Rather, it was more like a s*x slave when there was no stigma. If that was the case, then why did they brand me? I almost died in pain. I endured it for things to come. If that was the case, why the hell did they brand me? Why¡­? ¡°Don¡¯t open the door to anyone until I come.¡± Acacia uttered to me as if he was going to leave the place. I danced for joy inside. If he went out and his traces disappeared, wouldn¡¯t I be able to solve my sexual desire through masturbation? I gave him a quick glance telling him to go. Seeing that, he glanced at me and let out a sigh. A gaze filled with concern reached me. ¡°¡­I will be back soon.¡± Yes¡­? Back soon? He stared at me with anxious eyes, begging me to stay. I was not even holding you back. Rather, my eyes are telling you to go. Besides, who was going to come? He closed the door after saying useless words to me, who had no one to visit. However, I was suddenly puzzled by the words that seemed like he cared so much about me. Why would Acacia suddenly care about me¡­? In the original novel, there was no contact point, and he was more concerned than Raphael, who had not come. Moreover, I didn¡¯t know him well. Whenever something different from the original happened, I felt like they were alive, not just characters in the book. Rewan¡¯s violent behavior, Distria¡¯s obsession and madness, things like that. I didn¡¯t understand. I wanted a book-like development. Although it was wrong for an unknown reason, I didn¡¯t know where the start of the error came from. Still, I thought it was easy. Even though I had lived here for over a year, there was no sense of reality. In the first place, it might be more difficult for me to find a sense of reality after one year, having been in Korea for more than twenty years. To me, living here felt like entertainment. Like an eroge, where you make a choice whenever you meet someone? I ran into Distria. 1. Have s*x 2. Talk. 3. Get beaten. The level at which I was aware of the situation was like that. I didn¡¯t feel the slightest bit of seriousness. Obviously, the trap was that there may be ¡®death¡¯ in that option. I decided to think positively. I wouldn¡¯t die until Distria loses his interest in Arne. There was nothing to die for yet, and death was not scary. ¡ªKnock, knock. My thoughts stopped at the sound of the knock. I remembered Acacia¡¯s words not to open the door even if anyone came. But, whether he cares about me or not, what does an eunuch know about? I want someone to have s*x with me right now¡­! ¡°Open the door.¡± Raphael¡¯s voice was heard through the door. Rather than thinking, ¡®It¡¯s been a while,¡¯ I was happy to think that I could release my sexual desire. Even though I was already anxious to open the door, I calmly grabbed the doorknob. I shouldn¡¯t have a very happy voice. I lowered my voice and took a deep breath. ¡­I am in a very frightened state. A scared state ¡°The person guarding this door told me not to open it.¡± As soon as I finished speaking, he knocked on the door so hard that I thought it might be broken. ¡ªBang! Bang! Yes, knock it down like that and break the door! Just when I cheered for Raphael¡¯s actions, the knocking stopped. Raphael spoke, word by word, in a voice that seemed to contain his anger. ¡°When I¡¯m still nice, open the door.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Would this be enough? I opened the door with my hands trembling in anticipation. When I opened the door, I saw Raphael with dead eyes. He was staring at me with cold eyes. It looked like he was on drugs. ¡ªBaaang! There was a noise so loud that I thought the door might be broken. He slammed the door shut and kissed me. I felt the thrill of a flash of light in my brain at the intense sexual stimulation I hadn¡¯t felt in a long time. Raphael¡¯s hard, hot hands slid into my clothes. He pinched the nipples that were already standing upright. He grabbed my chest as if making a circle around it. ¡°¡­.!¡± I struggled to push Raphael away with both hands. My reason had already exploded in skinship suggesting s*x, though now, Arne¡¯s character, which was so entrenched in my body, came out. Raphael, who was pushed back by the light gesture of refusal, made an impression. Oh, not like this. Why was he pushed¡­? I hid my embarrassment and glanced at him. At the same time, my chest was still warm to the touch and the bottom wanted to be inserted and was holding wet. Raphael¡¯s swept his hair with one hand and laughed. A choked breath escaped from his mouth as he grabbed my neck with one hand and gave it strength, stronger and stronger. I was out of breath. ¡°If I kill you, will it be filled?¡± I didn¡¯t know what he meant. I thought that maybe I could die in those eyes that felt alive. When his eyes met mine, he relaxed his hands. I let out a rough breath and exhaled heavily. Even in the face of death, his actions were not scary, reminiscent of breath play. I was rather excited. ¡°You drive me crazy.¡± ¡ªWhat did I do, drive you crazy? I think he got the wrong number. He gazed at me slowly and took off his clothes, still maintaining eye contact. I got rid of all the nonsensical thoughts. I stared at his actions as if terrified. Raphael¡¯s large, erect p*nis protruded from his pants. Wow¡­! I missed it so much. Concealing the burst of joy, I hurriedly turned my head. I was worried that he would see the happy expression on my face. Raphael grabbed my chin. ¡°Look at it. It¡¯s going to get in your p*ssy.¡± ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 20 ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 20 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (2) He grabbed my head and directed my gaze downward. His thing was twitching up and down, exuding a presence. It was always a big size. This sister is very satisfied. Raphael slowly shoved his thing underneath. He grabbed my head and made me watch the moment it was inserted. The scene where his thing pushed inside me was so lewd. I closed my eyes and heard Raphael¡¯s laughter. He grabbed my chin. ¡°Open your eyes and look straight. Can you see? The way you¡¯re eating me.¡± He spread my legs apart and slowly piston. His eyes were still gleaming with murderous intentions, and he was engulfed in madness. Raphael stopped his movements whenever I glanced away and turned my head. I was forced to look at the insertion scene. No, excuse me. My neck hurts¡­ I like everything, too, but my neck is so stiff¡ª Did this bastard learn s*x with a book? Why was he acting like a piece of sh*? It¡¯s uncomfortable¡­! I¡¯m not joking, it¡¯s uncomfortable. Are you kidding me? You bastard, my throat felt tight. I swallowed the words I couldn¡¯t put out in my mouth. Haa¡­ Besides, every time he pierced my sensitive place, I unknowingly tensed my body. The pain in the neck increased. It didn¡¯t matter if I was hit or pressed or if it was physical pain. It was difficult to concentrate on s*x if the posture was uncomfortable. My neck was constantly creaking. After a while, Raphael got so excited that he didn¡¯t care whether I saw him or not. I could barely relax my neck. ¡­Wow, I think I can finally live. When I focused on the s*x I hadn¡¯t been able to, I felt an ecstatic pleasure as if I was being rewarded. It had been a while since I¡¯d done it, so everywhere he stabbed was sensitive. It was difficult to hold back my moan as I felt an electric current flowing through my body. Because my body was a little more comfortable now, my mind was suffering. I bit my lips tightly. In the end, I couldn¡¯t stop the moaning from coming out. ¡°Ahk! Ang¡­! No¡­!¡± ¡®No¡¯ was Arne¡¯s last conscience. Raphael bit my breast and sucked it. His thick saliva flowed down the round curve. I tried to push him away. Since we were firmly connected, whenever I applied force to the hand that pushed him, it stabbed deeper as if tormenting me. As if it was a lie that he was pushed by my small force at first, he was no longer pushed away. ¡°Huuht¡­ Huang¡­! Ple¡­ase.¡± On the contrary, because of the ignorant attack, there was no strength in my body. Raphael seemed to be more aroused by my act of pushing somehow. He reached up and grabbed my arm with one hand. Even though my raised arm hurt, even that was a pleasure. ¡°You keep me alive, yet you put me in the mud.¡± ¡°¡­Huk¡ªhuht??????????, ahhk¡­¡± He licked my mouth. I had no time to think about anything else, even with his nonsense, as the rough lips licked my lips and bit it. The area around my mouth was wet. He shoved his tongue into my open mouth with slight stimulation. The blunt flesh was soft and swept through the tender inside. He, who had been harassing my mouth, relaxed his expression. ¡°Even now.¡± He smiled, with a happy face. The room that Raphael left was hot with the still uncooled heat. He constantly pushed me and came all over me¡ªon my stomach, and in my chest. The feeling of s*men flowing through my body made my mood reach its peak. I felt a great sense of upliftment from having s*x in a long time. I struggled to calm down my harsh breathing that had not gone away. The fact that I almost died had already been erased from my mind. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Acacia came up to me with a wet towel with an unknown expression. He applied the medicine to the red marks left on my neck. I glanced at him without a word. I didn¡¯t know why he felt sorry for Arne. Even now, I didn¡¯t know why he was apologizing. It had been a long time since I had s*x, so it felt really good. Because of that, I was offended by Acacia¡¯s apology. ¡°I will clean you.¡± He wiped away Raphael¡¯s traces with a wet towel. It was a bit disappointing because I wanted to feel the afterglow, though I grabbed Acacia¡¯s wrist. I took the towel he was holding and wiped the semen off my body myself. Why was he apologizing¡­? In the original story, Acacia was not close to Arne. He wasn¡¯t even the original male lead, and he had never had an affair with Arne. Rather, he helped her in a difficult situation. Even though Acacia was responsible, conscientious, and principled, he was not so noble and overbearing. He was the only normal person among irrational people, so he stood out more. [ Arne, who was running an errand for the Emperor, was caught by the apprentice knight Veloce. She was passing by the training ground. He stroked the flower stamped on Arne¡¯s thigh once. It was a hand full of sexual intent. ¡°Do you know what this means?¡± Shaking off Veloce¡¯s hand, she stared at Veloce with disgusted eyes. Arne shook off her body in the unexpected situation as she bit her lip in a situation that she couldn¡¯t get used to no matter how much she suffered. If she gave up everything, would she get used to it? Would it be easier to give up¡­? ¡°Is there a knight who has chivalry?¡± Veloce hardened his expression absurdly. Arne, who still considered herself a member of the royal family, was funny. Damn it, how dare she talk about chivalry when she serves the Emperor¡¯s nights? At that, he slapped Arne on the cheek. Once, twice. All of a sudden, in the hall, a sound of flesh and flesh touching rather than a sword was heard. Veloce stopped his hand from hitting her on the cheek and put his hand into Arne¡¯s chest. He rubbed her chest and stretched out his hand towards her shoulder before tearing her clothes down with a single gesture. He was overcome with a sense of exaltation as he watched her look at him through her sullen eyes. ¡°The flowers stamped on the back represent bedroom service, and the flowers stamped below indicate grades. And, this flower means that even nobles can use you. Do you know what I mean?¡± Arne¡¯s body stopped shaking at his words. Seeing that, Veloce grabbed her soft hair and kissed it. His hand, which was stroking her cheek, turned downward. He parted her lips and smiled coldly. ¡°I mean, I can r*pe you here.¡± Then, he pushed her against the wall with a strong force. Arne, who only now realized that this was what it meant at the sinister gazes wherever she went, trembled. The harsh reality made her unable to come to her senses. ¡°Of course, anything I do to you will not be considered r*pe.¡± As if he didn¡¯t care about her situation, Veloce spread Arne¡¯s legs apart. Her heart fluttered through the torn clothes as he brushed his lips with his tongue. He took off his pants and pushed himself at once. Bitting Arne¡¯s chest, Veloce chewed and swallowed the apex and thrust his back at high speed. This series felt like eons of time, and Arne wanted to run away. She wanted to run away from life. As soon as Veloce put himself inside the tight Arne he felt his climax coming. He pushed himself and repeatedly pulled out of her stiff place. Although she gasped in pain, he didn¡¯t care. Rather, the more she suffered, the better he felt. ¡°What are you doing in the training ground?¡± At that, Veloce¡¯s actions stopped. He hastily put on his clothes neatly after taking off his thing from under Arne. Acacia closed his mouth and glanced at Arne, who struggled to hold back her tears. He felt a momentary sympathy for her. Her demise and the last remnant of her royal family, he sympathized with her. In addition, he still admired her for not giving up on her act as a royalty. It was he who destroyed her country. Acacia recalled his master, Carwen de Distria. Even now, Distria¡¯s intentions to send Arne on errands for the 22nd Division were obvious. When he lifted her up and gave a glance at Veloce, he bowed his head to Acacia with a pale face and walked out of the training ground. Arne stared at Veloce, who escaped without even being able to straighten his back with a blank expression. He was the one who immediately lowered his tail in front of a power stronger than him. She was taken at random by such a person. She was treated no less than a passing bug. Her body trembled with anger. Arne thought of what she had lost. ] Raphael often visited my room as if the times when he had never come were a dream. At first, the eyes that were gleaming with madness gradually softened and returned to the smirk of the past. It was irritating because the series of processes was strangely jarring. As if something in the novel told Raphael, ¡°You are not this kind of character. Go back.¡± It seemed to force his character back. Today, as soon as he came in, he had a clean look unlike before and tore off the clothes I was wearing. Bewildered by the sudden action, hiding my joy for a moment, I gave him a contemptuous look and pushed him away. I peeked at Acacia, struggling to cover myself with the half-ripped and tattered clothes. He closed the door and went out, regardless of my pitiful gaze. ¡­.Wow, really, what¡¯s wrong with him? Still, thanks to Acacia going out, I was able to have s*x with Raphael. However, it was a little disappointing. He gave consideration to Arne, but why not me? Acacia, who was sweet and kind to Arne, surprisingly didn¡¯t pay any attention to me. That really made me anxious. When I tried to seduce him, I didn¡¯t think he knew that I was seducing him, though maybe he did? Did he realize that I was having fun and quietly walk away¡­? I repeated several delusions in my head. Nevertheless, Acacia¡¯s expression of regret at that time was full of sincerity. Even though I knew it wasn¡¯t, I was worried. As characters had become truly unknown, I stopped feeling confident that I knew them well. They were living people, those I thought I knew well were already gone. Even though I was thinking about Acacia for a moment, Raphael came close to me and kissed me. I was slowly soaked in the excitement by the thick kiss that erased my thoughts. It was a lesson I learned when I was forced into abstinence. Let¡¯s focus on the sex in front of us. I would have to survive with it later. Well, in the same situation now, I wouldn¡¯t be able to masturbate. Anyway, I had to focus. Thinking about it makes me mad. If it was possible to masturbate, I wouldn¡¯t have seduced Acacia. I didn¡¯t do it with people who don¡¯t like me either. Raphael¡¯s hot hand touched my arm, and he laughed out loud. ¡°I¡¯ve already seen everything I want to see. What are you doing?¡± Raphael, who bent my arm violently with force, dragged me to the bed. I was thrown onto the bed. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to his knees as I struggled with my focus. It was a typical back position. ¡°Don¡­uhk.¡± ¡°Unlike what you said, are you already spilling water?¡± He stroked me lightly inside. As he said, the already drenched bottom was filled with love liquid. I had been feeling weird for a long time. To be honest, I didn¡¯t even know I was wet because I was so excited. He squeezed the inside with his fingers and licked the flowing liquid with his tongue. A thick, hot tongue touched the secret place. I gripped the duvet sheet tightly to the soft touch. His tongue went deeper and deeper as if indulging in the inside. ¡°Huuhk¡­¡± I shook lightly, and he lightly patted my buttocks. ¡°Don¡¯t move.¡± ¡°¡­Don¡¯t do it. Stop¡­¡± I gazed at Raphael with half-wet eyes as though trembling in shame. As if he didn¡¯t like what I said, Raphael raised his hand. ¡­Was this spanking? ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 21 Chapter 21 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (3) ¡ªSlap, Slaaapp! Raphael slapped me in the ass three or four more times. He stroked the burning red buttocks and slowly touched it and I trembled as he reached the entrance. His fingers scratched and irritated the inner wall, making it difficult for me to keep my body still. I shivered with excitement for a moment before I came to my senses. ¡­No matter how much I liked to play, I was now Arne. I brainwashed myself. I crawled forward to escape from him. Raphael pulled out his moving hand from inside me and looked at my action as if it was funny. My body warmed up in his gaze. ¡°Where are you going? I told you not to move.¡± He grabbed my crawling leg. I was dragged in front of him in spite of my efforts. Then, Raphael lifted my back and laid it on his lap. Like a child being slapped by its mother. I was laid on his lap. Raphael raised his hand. ¡ªSlap! He slapped my ass a little harder than before. Rather than the pain, the stimulation of his genitals rubbing against the n*pples in the chest was thrilling. Every time he raised his hand, Raphael¡¯s erect p*nis brushed past my n*pples. Again. As the intensity gradually increased, I could feel the love juice flowing with the exhilarating pain. Oh really. I¡¯m at loss. Raphael¡¯s laughter was heard. He stroked my back a few times with his gentle hand, then laid me down on his lap. He made my back stand up like the first position. He rubbed his thing against my mouth. I burned in anxiety in wanting to put the hard, hot thing that touched my mouth. I took a short breath and worked tirelessly to contain my lust. ¡°Do you like it?¡± ¡ªYeah. Please f*ck me. I shook my head in denial, and he grabbed my hair and pulled it. Then, I could feel a sharp pain as a few of my hairs were pulled out. Raphael whispered into my ear. The fever gradually rose from the stinging feeling. I got more anxious. I wish he could just put it in. ¡°You have to be honest, aren¡¯t you a good kid?¡± ¡°¡­Ah, huk¡­ N¡­no. Don¡¯t do it.¡± When he raised his hand again, I shut my eyes tightly at the pain I was about to feel. I was hoping his hand would hit my ass soon. ¡ªSquash! Soon, I heard the sound of a hard blow on my ass. It was louder than before. Once again, the liquid leaked out. ¡­No. Really. Ah, so good. It was really difficult because I¡¯m a pervert. Raphael¡¯s laughter was heard. ¡°I think your body is saying otherwise?¡± He placed his p*nis against the entrance and moved up and down little by little. The hard and warm stimulation that touched the clitoris went away slightly. Again, the love liquid wet his thing. Actually¡­ It had been a while since I felt ashamed. My face turned bright red. I buried my face in the pillow. I really hated Raphael, who reminded me of the word shame after a long time. When he started SM and was enjoying himself, I felt emotions he had never felt before. It was the first light s*x other than shame play. Raphael opened the hole and stuck his tongue in. He licked the cl*toris, which had risen and thickened, and poked his finger underneath. I cried as he licked the dripping liquid. ¡°Huuht¡­ Huhk.¡± I grabbed the blanket and trembled at the pleasure he gave me. He exhaled in excitement. Hot breaths spread across my thighs. ¡°If I have done this much service, you should do it, too, right?¡± Raphael turned me over and put his p*nis in my mouth. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes as he pierced my neck. No, I could suck you well even if you didn¡¯t move¡­ As if he was enjoying my expression that was contorted with pain, his waist became faster. ¡°Kohk¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t let your teeth touch. Cover it with your tongue.¡± Hey. Growing up ignorantly, it would be hard work to keep your teeth from touching. But, how do you use your tongue¡­? I was already in a lot of pain as he stabbed recklessly. Tears welled up by Raphael¡¯s rough waist and flowed down my cheeks. I was stabbed deep in the throat, and I felt like vomiting. Raphael gently wiped away the flowing tears. ¡°I¡¯ll give you something precious, so drink it all. Understand?¡± As soon as he finished saying those words, he ejaculated for a long time in my mouth and pulled out his own. I coughed continuously and spat his s*men under the bed. Raphael, looking displeased with me, grabbed his hair and laid me on the bed. He spread my legs as wide as possible and put his thing, which had quickly increased in size, at once. ¡°I told you to drink it well.¡± ¡°¡­Huang!¡± ¡°Kuhk¡­ You¡¯re chewing me so much. Did you want to get f*cked like that, Arne?¡± Raphael laughed bitterly. He shoved it inside me, and I gasped for a moment. The next moment, he pulled it all the way out and shoved it back in before squeezing my hips tightly and letting out a shaky breath. ¡°Ha¡­¡± As he patted my back and wiped the tears from my eyes, Raphael bit my ear and chewed. He licked the earlobe and whispered to me. ¡°Relax your face. It¡¯s like I¡¯m r*ping you while you¡¯re fussing like that.¡± He lightly patted my cheek and grabbed my leg with both hands before placing it over his shoulder, one at a time. I took a deep breath and bit my lip. Raphael slapped me in the face every time I hardened my face to hold back my moaning. ¡°You¡¯re not obedient.¡± His hips pounded faster. I didn¡¯t frown more than that. His violence against me also felt like a form of play, so I didn¡¯t feel repulsed. It was okay to hit me more¡­ ¡°Kuhk¡­¡± Raphael¡¯s harsh breathing was heard. He gazed at me without hiding that he was enjoying the afterglow after he had ejaculated inside. I met his eyes that were distracted by desire. Raphael smiled again and moved his waist. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but it¡¯s not over yet, Arne. There is still a lot of time left.¡± * * * Today, in the room where Raphael went, Acacia appeared with warm water and a towel. He slowly wiped my unresponsive body. He stroked my swollen cheek with a sad expression. I liked his cold hand and watched Acacia¡¯s actions quietly. ¡°Sorry.¡± He immediately apologized to me. I touched Acacia¡¯s hand and stared at him with cold eyes. To be honest, I was a little annoyed. Why did he keep apologizing without knowing my heart? As Acacia glanced at me with eyes filled with guilt, I felt like I was doing something very wrong. I suppressed my anger inside. I couldn¡¯t get angry with Acacia personally here. ¡°Why do you just say sorry and do nothing?¡± I muffled my emotions and asked a question that Arne would have asked, too. It was also of personal interest. He lowered his head and said nothing. Silence fell between the two of us. Hesitating, he eventually opened his mouth. ¡°¡­I am not in a position to say anything. There is nothing wrong with what he does.¡± ¡°Is it not wrong to covet my body and take it by force?¡± At Acacia¡¯s words, I spat out thorny words. I think Arne would have said something like this? I knew what I was saying was a farce. Even though Acacia respected Arne and treated her with respect, she was the king of a ruined kingdom. She was the Empire¡¯s sex slave. Despite the rude and incomprehensible questions, Acacia gazed at me. He was weird. After hesitating for a while, he opened his mouth carefully. ¡°The flower on the back signifies that you attend the bedroom. The mark on the thigh indicates the grade, and the butterfly means no status restrictions.¡± Acacia looked into my eyes as if worried about the shock I had received. The black eyes that were worried about me met my gaze. While not doing anything to help directly, he worried about me. He was a contradictory person. ¡°¡­But, why are you sorry for me?¡± Acacia was silent again. I waited patiently for his answer. Nonetheless, he did not open his mouth until the end. Unknown questions arose. Why didn¡¯t he stop Raphael¡¯s actions while guarding the entrance? Also, did he treat me like a king¡­? Suppressing my curiosity, I spat out words that were different from my heart. ¡°Then, can you help me meet Rewan?¡± ¡°That¡­ I would ask His Majesty, though I recommend that you do not offend him.¡± Acacia looked at me with an anxious expression. As if to overturn a decision I made. He seemed to think that if I disobey Distria¡¯s intentions, I might die. And, that was correct. Distria killed all who disobeyed his heart. However, what I can say with certainty in a world where the original story went wrong was that Distria would not kill me unless I give up my dignity and straight personality as a king. The point in the original work that Distria lost his interest in Arne was when she became a fool. It was a well-grounded belief. [ ¡°Are you satisfied now? I¡¯ll break it down the way you want it.¡± Arne¡¯s face was messed up with tears, but even that was beautiful. Her pupils flickered as if out of focus. Distria felt her willingness had died a little while ago. It was interesting to see her struggling. It was amusing how she struggled to escape somehow. However, even that was now over. She was a person, too. She was a person who would break if you step on it. Arne crawled in front of Distria on all fours. She unbuckled his pants. He didn¡¯t stop her from acting. Then, she grabbed his genitals, which had not yet stood, with both hands, and shook them. She put the p*nis, which had raised to a certain size in response to stimulation, into her mouth. He beckoned. ¡°Stop. It¡¯s disgusting to see. Put it away.¡± ] I sighed and peered at Acacia. ¡°I don¡¯t want to beg for my life even from you. Do you think this is living?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± He left the room without a word. When I heard the door closing, I wiped every nook and cranny of my body with the towel he had left behind. The maids would come to give me a bath later. Still, it was uncomfortable, so I did it first. Acacia didn¡¯t seem to know that I was M. If he knew, he wouldn¡¯t have to worry about me this much. He couldn¡¯t express it through his actions, though he had a gentle personality that cared about Arne. Since he was worried about my life, I thought of the possibility that he would have ignored my request. And, I thought it was the correct answer. Less than three days after I spoke with Acacia, Distria came to me with a very uncomfortable expression. ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ Chapter 22 Chapter 22 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (4) ¡°You said you wanted to meet Rewan?¡± Distria was sitting on my waist. It didn¡¯t feel heavy, as if he supported his own weight on his knees. Although he didn¡¯t just insert it, his position was reminiscent of the normal position. The collar seemed to indirectly mean ¡®this is your place,¡¯ so I got a little excited. ¡°If so?¡± As I stared straight at him, not avoiding his gaze, he tugged at the leash. Along with the sound of iron, I felt a great shock to the neck, and my breath was momentarily suffocated. With the coercive force, my head was forcibly lifted. I choked and grabbed the front of the collar with both hands. ¡°Tell me again.¡± No, I wouldn¡¯t be able to say anything. With all my might, I tried to create a gap between the collar and the neck. In spite of all my efforts, Distria released his grip, and my lifted head fell onto the bed. Instinctively, I took a deep breath and gasped. He stared at me with sharp eyes. As if not to say that I want to meet Rewan. It was unspoken pressure. Still, I didn¡¯t pay any attention to Distria¡¯s gaze. I looked at him and spoke. One by one, pressing it firmly. ¡°Meet Rewan¡­ Kugh¡ª!¡± His power to grab and drag the leash again grew stronger than before. Tears welled up against my will at the repeated great pain. Distria, who once again relaxed his grip, gazed at me with an angry expression. He asked quietly. ¡°Tell me¡­again. What?¡± I turned my head away from his gaze. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes and ran down my cheeks. The next moment, he leaned over and kissed my eyes. Distria¡¯s tongue licked along the trail of tears. ¡ªSlurp. A strange and unfamiliar sound rang in my ears. All of a sudden, he was exhaling roughly with excitement. The tip of his tongue moved along my earlobe and caressed it while his hands pressed my chest over my clothes. I blankly glanced up at him. When he looked down with his red tongue glancing down, his appearance was so lustful. ¡°Ha¡­¡± I was almost intoxicated by his breath. He gently stroked my cheek and gave me a playful smile. ¡°If you please me, I¡¯ll think about it.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± My hands trembled with excitement. I struggled to harden my face and stared up at him. Distria came down on top of me, anticipating my next move. Standing up and sitting facing him, I could feel the excitement I couldn¡¯t hide. Without hesitation, I raised my hand and slapped him on the cheek. His head, which had never been slapped in the face, was turned by my hand. He slowly put his hand to his face as if startled by the tingling sensation on his cheek. It didn¡¯t take long for the blinking eyes to turn into anger. ¡°¡­Are you crazy?¡± ¡°You must be the one who¡¯s crazy.¡± He grabbed my chin and forced me to lie down. It was such a rough force that even though I fell on the soft bed, a strong shock hit my whole body. In addition, Distria had large hands, so his palms covered all of my lower jab. ¡­Oh, I want to lick it. I tightened my eyes and gazed at him. ¡°Why do you choose the hard way when I give you the easy way?¡± His eyes filled with anger slowly changed to those that I didn¡¯t understand. I actually wanted to take the easy path, though this was not my will. I sighed inside and bit Distria¡¯s hand. Even though I bit hard enough to leave tooth marks, he didn¡¯t even think to put his hand away. ¡°Do more.¡± Rather, Distria smiled as if he was going to die of laughter, folding the corners of his mouth finely. Contrary to his smiling mouth, his cold eyes gave me goosebumps. Full of anger, he was terribly sexy. ¡°Are you done?¡± I lost my mind for a moment admiring his appearance and opened my mouth unknowingly. Oh, I should have been biting him¡­ I was perplexed. He was uselessly handsome and made people stupid¡­ Oh, no. I grumbled inside, the words I couldn¡¯t get out of my mouth. At the same time, he put his finger into my gaping mouth. I almost vomited at the fingertips that were pushed up to my throat. ¡°¡­Huup!¡± Distria, who stroked my tongue with my fingers and scanned my teeth, increased the number of fingers in my mouth. He was about to put all his hands in it as if to smash my chin. Saliva dripped down the wide open mouth. This was a bit dirty¡­? He then gave strength to his hands. The intense pain that spread through my mouth felt like he was about to break my teeth. Ahk¡ªHey, wait. No matter how angry you were, please don¡¯t break this. I also have to eat to live. Eat meat¡­ Besides, there were no fillers here. I begged him with a voice that couldn¡¯t reach him. Eventually, he pulled his hand out of my mouth as though my earnest wish had reached him. His hands were wet and shiny with my saliva. After looking at his hand for a moment, he shoved his hand under me without notice. Not one finger, but four at once. The already wet eyes were delighted and welcomed the strange feeling of foreign body. ¡°Are you wet already?¡± Whispering in my ear, he squeezed the glistening bottom. Distria reciprocated with his hands, kissing my lips. He devoured my lips and tore my clothes with the other hand. An obscene sound filled the room. When he pinched the bulging n*pples and caressed my chest, my body reacted to Distria¡¯s rough touch, regardless of my will. Enjoying his crude touch, I gasped for breath. As we parted our lips, the thickly mixed saliva stretched out in a long curved line. As if the anger had disappeared, he had a pretty satisfied expression. Simple bastard¡­ Just because you put something in and my body reacted didn¡¯t mean that this action was unconditionally good. Oh, of course, I liked it, so I got wet. After, he pulled out his finger, which had been soaked in the love liquid, before licking his hand, which was glistening with love liquid. Staring at me, the red tongue devoured the love liquid that had been clinging to his hands. Meticulously. ¡°Huhk¡­!¡± With a hand moistened with his own saliva, he grabbed my waist. He fit his own thing into the opening and pushed it all the way in. Without even having time to feel his hard and hot feeling, he pulled it out to the end and stabbed it again strongly. He hung my leg around his neck and pushed it in like a press from above. Pleasure melted my head, which felt deeper than usual. With every move he made, the collar made a rattling sound, exhibiting its presence. ¡°Ah¡ªHeuk, huhk¡­!¡± An unbearable moan escaped my mouth. Startled by my own voice, I bit my lip belatedly, but it was already too late. Distria smiled greedily as though urging me to moan, he sped up and pushed me. He put a finger in my mouth, which was bleeding from the bite, and opened it. As my mouth opened, a moan erupted like a burst of water, as if the last line had been captured. ¡°Ahk! Ang, ahng¡­! Ha¡ªuhk!¡± ¡°Kugh¡­ It¡¯s a nice crying.¡± Smiling sweetly as if he loved me, he gently tucked my hair to my ear. Distria kissed my lips, turned his waist, and stirred inside. He kissed me finely, licked my breasts, and left teeth marks on my body. ¡°Hup¡­¡± ¡°Huu¡­¡± He let out a low breath. The tug of war between reason and instinct continued as his smile grew stronger. Really, so sexy¡­ Meanwhile, he smiled and increased the intensity of his movements. Distria lowered my legs across his shoulders and wrapped them around his waist. ¡°Ang¡­! Ahk!¡± He was moving his back violently, and suddenly he pulled his thing out of me. Hurriedly grabbed my leash, he shoved it into my mouth, which was opened to let a moan out. My mouth, moist with a glistening liquid, was filled as it was wide open like it was going to tear. As he began his thrusting motion, saliva ran down the corner of my mouth. His pistoning speed increased. Soon, his lust exploded from the depths of my mouth as he shook his back. He took a deep breath and ejaculated in my mouth. The s*men that didn¡¯t go through my tongue and went straight to my throat seemed to come out with a cough, though I couldn¡¯t spit it out because it was clogged with his length, so I forcibly swallowed it. Seeing my neck go down, Distria smiled contentedly. He released his grip on my head and pulled himself out. I coughed continuously as his stuff came out of my mouth. I was not used to the fishy taste that came up from my throat after a long time. ¡­Ignorant bastard. I¡¯ll bite you when it gets in my mouth. ¡°You want to meet Rewan?¡± I was silent for a moment at his question. Even though I wanted to give a positive answer, I struggled to endure it. It was because if I affirmed it here, it was the same as admitting that he treated Arne as a whore. ¡°¡­No.¡± Even if I said ¡°no,¡± it was the same as playing in his palm. I chose to protect Arne¡¯s pride. Distria gave a satisfied look, and he smiled. His eyebrows were folded in half and curved as he opened his mouth, ¡°You thought well. Don¡¯t even bring that up in the future.¡± He was crazy, but like the Emperor. When I avoided his gaze, his pleasant laughter was heard. He kissed me lightly and arranged his clothes. Finally, he slowly walked out of the room. Seeing him disappear, I lay on the bed, waving my limbs. This was not what I wanted. Of course, I liked s*x with Distria, but that was not what I wanted. How to get to the Knights gangbang route¡­ I didn¡¯t think I was meeting the Emperor. If I could read the original novel, I wanted to find it at least once and read it. Chapter 23 Chapter 22 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (5) It had been over a week since Distria came to the room. It was as usual except that Distria had visited. Nonetheless, a closer look revealed some differences. First of all, Acacia looked at me with eyes of regret. It was natural, considering he was honest and could not tolerate injustice regardless of his position, and his upright disposition. Acacia knew that night, and pretended not to notice the unreasonable night because Arne wouldn¡¯t have been in this position if her words hadn¡¯t offended Distria. He was well aware of that fact. Still, he was instrumental in making that night. Acacia heard Distria¡¯s order to bring him the collar, and he did not look back even at the sound of the collar being fitted. He just shut the door and disappeared as if nothing had happened. Still, he was apologizing to me for his own actions afterwards when he was the one who didn¡¯t make eye contact with me for the past week or so. It would have been strange if I didn¡¯t know. He was a pretty honest guy. Knowing his uprightness and Arne¡¯s unreasonable circumstances, he worried about her and sympathized with her. Contrary to his heart, I had fun. Raphael, who had visited every day until the door was worn out, seemed to be busy these days. He came and held me once every three or four days. In fact, s*x with him was boring. As if he had forgotten the promise he made at that time when he forcibly made me abstain. Because of that, I quickly felt that my relationship with him was boring. In addition, I didn¡¯t have a long-term s*x partner with one person originally since I had several s*x partners, not just one. Consequently, it was natural for me to get tired of my relationship with Raphael. When I gazed at Acacia standing in front of the door, he quickly noticed my gaze and glanced at me. Our eyes met, and his eyes fluttered uncontrollably. ¡°Didn¡¯t you promise me that you would let me meet Rewan?¡± He looked at me with trembling eyes before turning his head as though he was trying to ignore me and sighed. The next moment, as if resigning again, he slowly turned his head to look at me with eyes full of concern. ¡°This time¡­¡± He paused for a moment and gazed at me. His eyes, hinting at my death, fluttered relentlessly again. ¡°You may die.¡± ¡°¡­I don¡¯t care.¡± Acacia¡¯s eyes sank again. He struggled for a moment as if even his breathing was difficult. He glanced up at me as if he didn¡¯t understand what I was saying, seemingly overturning my words that death doesn¡¯t matter. I didn¡¯t know why he cared about my death. Also, I couldn¡¯t understand why he wanted to hold on to my life. ¡°I told you before.¡± He was treating me with the courtesy that I don¡¯t need, and was stopping me from approaching death. Why was he looking at me with sad eyes¡­? He didn¡¯t have to do that at all. When I received Acacia¡¯s gaze, I thought of Rewan. He resembled him. ¡­Why now? Why all of a sudden? Before the original story, I was with Rewan for ten months. I often dined with him, quarreled, and occasionally inspected distant estates together. Sometimes, when a smile appeared on Rewan¡¯s indifferent face, I felt a sense of pride for an unknown reason. Though that was all. It wasn¡¯t that the time I spent with him wasn¡¯t happy. However, it was far from the happiness I wanted. From the day Acacia apologized, I could actually see Rewan in him. I just didn¡¯t admit it. Now, it had come to the point where I thought I was crazy. I couldn¡¯t understand my feelings at all. No, I didn¡¯t understand it at all¡­ Ignoring the strange feeling. I barely hid my expression. I vomited out one word at a time as though swallowing up my anger. I had to go ahead with the original story and finish this story. Anyway, Rewan was the one to die. ¡°Do you think this is living?¡± Saying so, I closed my eyes and opened them. He was silent for a moment. It was the same as back then. The friendly Acacia was worried about me. I would use his worries without much thought. Well, there was the guilt that came from taking advantage of other people¡¯s minds. I got up from my seat and went to the place where Acacia was before taking his hand and pulling it towards me. As he was gently dragged into the room, his body stiffened. I shut the door without a word and locked the door. Subsequently, I took off his clothes slowly. I didn¡¯t think much of it. ¡°Is the hardness the same as them? Should I do it once?¡± Rather, the expression of great embarrassment on his indifferent face was quite pleasing to look at. Acacia took off his cloak and wrapped it around me. He had a look of disappointment. Confusion crept into his dark eyes. Seeing Arne¡¯s white naked body, which he had already seen many times, his face turned red. He lowered his eyes and lowered his head. ¡°No. Cherish your body.¡± Acacia¡¯s hand trembled as he opened the cloak that was wrapped around him. ¡°A body that is already tattered?¡± It was humorous that he didn¡¯t know my thoughts, yet he was worried about me. His worries were not very pleasant. I didn¡¯t care whether he was beaten or cursed by an angry Distria for speaking my words. Why was he so worried about me¡­? Suddenly, I remembered someone who always had worried about me. I closed my eyes. It was a feeling that had nothing to do with me. ¡°¡­I will make another request.¡± Acacia shook his head and left the room. Every time I looked at him, I thought of the pure Rewan, and it was painful. I try to forget him, who bothers me, though Acacia kept reminding me of him. The kind eyes that resembled him were upright and straight like him¡­ Rewan came to mind. * * * Distria called me to his office. As I made my way to his office, sinister glances swept my body. But, since Acacia was next to me, they didn¡¯t seem to dare to think about what they were going to do with me. It was fine if they forced me to do it. Could I secretly take a walk in the garden at night¡­? With regret, I wet my lips with my tongue. Acacia knew that I was nervous and glanced at me with concern. ¡­No, it was not like that. [ A sullen gaze followed Arne wherever she went because of the stigma on her thigh. ¡­Now that she knew what the stigma meant, she tried to hide it as much as possible. Despite Arne¡¯s efforts, at least among the people in the Imperial Palace, there was no one who was unaware of Arne¡¯s plight. They mocked her without any protection. Pretending not to know, they touched her chest and groped her ass. Sometimes, they would even drag her openly into an unattended room and forced her into a rebellious act with her. ¡°The Carwen Empire does not have slaves.¡± The man who put his thing inside Arne laughed mischievously. As if he liked the stiff inside, he stretched his waist and pushed Arne. He covered her mouth with his own clothes so that she couldn¡¯t even scream. It wasn¡¯t wrong, but it didn¡¯t look good. ¡°You set the example badly.¡± The man smiled widely and licked her ear. Arne closed her eyes and then opened her eyes to stare at the man with a grim expression. She thought it was a dream. Reality had never been so cruel¡­ No one helped her while she was being dragged away by the man. There was something crazy about this empire, and it seemed like she was going crazy being here. She then took hold of her dizzying spirit. Once she lives¡­ She had to live¡­ Arne caught the darkening mind and let it go. To live like this¡­ A small ripple spread inside Arne. ] He led me safely to Distria¡¯s office and closed the door slowly, unable to hide his worried gaze until the end. Then, Distria raised his head to confirm that I had come before glancing back at the paperwork. On his desk was a pile of thick papers. Gradually my legs were numb. I think a lot of time has passed. The documents he was looking at also gradually decreased in size and showed the bottom. Seeing him lifting the last paper, I thought that I could talk to him soon and sat down on the floor. And, finally, the moment Distria got up from his seat, I screamed in joy. However, he moved to the bookshelf, not me, and took out a bunch of papers again. Ugh¡­! I let out a silent scream and sighed inside. ¡®No, call me when you¡¯ve done all your work.¡¯ ¡­Ah! Was this to make Arne feel humiliated? Ah. This¡­ Damn it. Little by little I slowly lowered my head and shivered. He was very hard to please. After that, I stood still for a while. Gradually my legs were numb. I mourned myself for the pain I had inflicted on my own. Why did I¡­? I should just be content with messing around with Raphael. Even though I regretted it, I comforted myself by saying that there were many more men. Starting with it, I had numerous thoughts. Half of my thoughts were s*x. If I did it with him in the office, would the desk collapse? He had good strength. Then, would he also panic¡­ Or, would he just pass it gently¡­? Well, Distria¡¯s was thick and long, though was it because he is the strongest boss? The shape was nice, too. I want to suck it once¡­ No, I¡¯ve sucked it once. Such a bummer¡­ I feel sorry now. I should have sucked it properly. Oh, I really want to have s*x. ¡°Do you really not want to live?¡± ¡°No. I want to live to have s¡ª¡± Unconsciously, I almost gave a strange answer to his question. A beating heartbeat pounded in my ears as I got flustered. I was thinking about s*x, so I almost spit on the answer that was nonsensical to Arne, ¡°I have to live to have s*x.¡± As I spoke, he stared at me. No, you still have a lot of documents left, so why are you asking me all of a sudden? You scared me. I managed to calm my pounding heart again and spoke. ¡°¡­A humanely life.¡± ¡°You want to live humanely life.¡± Distria muttered a sneer as if he had anticipated the words I hadn¡¯t even finished. Why did he keep asking me if he wouldn¡¯t listen to the end¡­? The next moment, he got up from his seat and strode towards me. He grabbed my chin with a strong force. My legs, weakened by standing for a long time, seemed to have lost their strength from the strong impact, and were bent without needing to use his hands. Distria let go of his hand on my chin and with the other, supported my collapsing waist. ¡°Is meeting Rewan an act of living like a humanely life?¡± As I stood with my balance, the arm that had firmly supported me left, and the overworked leg complained of pain. Distria stood in front of the bookshelf again and held out a sheet of paper that had been set aside. I walked over to him, barely pulling my shaky legs. As soon as I stood in front of him, he spread out the fingers holding the papers. Papers fluttered and fell to the floor. Hey, he is being really annoying¡­ ¡°If there is something to give, there must be something to receive.¡± I bent over and barely picked up the paper. My legs were trembling. Still, I couldn¡¯t help cheering the moment I read the words on the paper. This was the Knights Gangbang route¡­! Chapter 24 Chapter 24 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (6) After a successful meeting with Distria, I left his office. There was Acacia waiting for me at the door. He seemed to be worried about whether or not I had a coercive relationship with Distria, as I hadn¡¯t been out for a long time. ¡°¡­Are you okay?¡± With a worried gaze, I somehow had the illusion that he was a knight of Arne rather than a knight of Distria. He acted like Rewan would have done, as if he was replacing Rewan¡¯s vacancy. That was why I think of him¡­ I tried to ignore my absurd mind. I did not understand Acacia, I did not know him well. Even in the novel, he only appeared in fragmentary parts, so I had no choice but to not know him well. Besides, I didn¡¯t even want to know much about him. I thought that there would be no contact in the future. When I came, his expression relaxed as if he was relieved that nothing had changed when I left. Acacia glanced at my body and felt relieved, and then he asked when he had found a piece of paper in my hand. ¡°What is that¡­¡± Staring puzzled at the black letters that he saw at first glance, Acacia opened his lips and looked around, trying to say something. Then, he grabbed my arm politely and led me into the room. The door closed, and he eventually asked me. He looked a bit nervous. ¡°Do you know what the 22nd Knights are like?¡± I shook my head at his question. Acacia had eyes full of disgust. He clenched his fists, opened them up, and closed his eyes. with eyes as if thinking about something. As I waited patiently for his words, he spoke slowly. ¡°They are not knights.¡± ¡°¡­What is a knight even?¡± I stared at him and sneered. His eyes trembled anxiously, and then he bowed his head. Acacia was silent¡­ Like he knew what I was talking about. ¡°They have trampled on my country for no reason.¡± ¡°¡­It was an order.¡± ¡°The knights of Sorano Kingdom prioritize protecting the weak. Follow honor, though emphasize the cause. If my orders don¡¯t fit their beliefs¡­¡± For a moment, as if something was blocking my throat, my chin was caught and I couldn¡¯t say it out. I didn¡¯t even know by what qualification I was speaking these words. ¡°¡­They can refuse.¡± I spat out the words to the end on a topic despite not being qualified. This was a consolation for Arne and a deception. How could I say something like this while enjoying her pain¡­? I thought it was self-pitiful. Even then, I made up my mind. ¡°¡­To me, you are not a knight.¡± This was no deception. These were words to comfort Arne. Even in the words of a person like me, in this place where time has disappeared, only I knew of her lost time. * * * I read the paper that Distria gave me. ¡´ If you temporarily assume the position of commander of the 22nd Knights for one day, you will be permitted to meet Rewan for a day. However, you will not be able to meet Rewan if you leave the place of work or make a fuss even for a moment. ¡µ The simple two-line document was stamped with his seal. The 22nd Knights were a group of garbage. A place where the family paid a large sum of money to solve the difficult-to-handle garbage and put their garbage in it. They often used drugs and molested commoners. Even during working hours, they enjoyed having sex in the training ground. It was so promiscuous for the Knights, who usually existed in the center of the Imperial Palace fortress, although the 22nd Knights were in a separate palace. It was also in the 22nd Knights that Arne was g*ngb*nged by the knights. I set the paper aside and rolled over the bed. ..The best¡ª! The date on the paper was three days in the future. Even though it was a short time, I was already looking forward to that day. If I look at Rewan for two days, does the working day change to two days? Then, g*ngb*ng twice¡­? I woke up from the bed to the sound of a knock. I was convinced that it was Acacia and opened the door. However, when I saw someone other than Acacia, I was a little embarrassed. It had been a while since I met Lepis ¡ª a month and a half to be exact. I want to have s*x with him one more time since I couldn¡¯t concentrate properly back then! I was sure I would do well if I do it now¡­ Thinking, I looked up at Lepis slightly. Closed lips and a blunt expression. He shook his head. Well¡­ I didn¡¯t think that was what he came here for. In the end, my anticipation had cooled down sharply. ¡°I heard you said you wanted to meet Rewan.¡± He had a strange expression that was hard to describe in words. It seemed like he didn¡¯t know whether he was angry or annoyed or sad. I gazed into his face without saying a word and responded by nodding my head. ¡°I¡¯ll get you to meet him.¡± Lepis¡¯ scent came rushing in. He was getting close enough to the point where our lips could touch. I instinctively opened the distance for fear that I would make contact with him without my knowledge. He followed me tenaciously. Eventually, my back hit the wall and I couldn¡¯t move either. As he looked down at me with a blunt look, his breath touched my lips. That alone made me feel like I was kissing Lepis, creating a strange sense of excitement. I turned my head to avoid his tenacious gaze and his breath. ¡°I am making a good offer, so why are you running away?¡± ¡°¡­There¡¯s no way you can just let me meet.¡± I hid my enthusiasm and responded indifferently. When I turned my head and met his gaze, there was a strange sense of excitement in the purple eyes. Lepis¡¯ hand grazed my thigh and he placed his hand on the crooked, butterfly-shaped mark. ¡°I¡¯m not forcing you. I¡¯m busy these days¡­¡± What he was saying was obvious. He was also making a similar offer to Distria. ¡®Give me your body. Then, I¡¯ll give you Rewan.¡¯ ¡°No.¡± I was taken aback by his unexpected behavior, but that was the end. As long as I was playing Arne, I never wanted them in the first place. It was unfortunate though there was nothing I could do about it. I didn¡¯t want to twist the original story anymore. Even such a small act would change the story. I managed to resist his temptation. Lepis smiled faintly. He smiled as if he was satisfied with the rejection. ¡°It¡¯s very unfortunate.¡± No. He didn¡¯t look sad at all¡­ Lepis tapped my cheek a couple of times. He had a slightly regretful expression like the mysterious expression he had made the first time he came. I had no idea why he had such a face or why he made such an offer. * * * The day before the g*ngb*ng route, Lepis came back. He seemed confused and looked at the white paper on the desk. ¡°Don¡¯t do it.¡± Lepis¡¯ eyes looking at me with sorrowful eyes were unfamiliar. It was because he would always be annoyed or expressionless. He had a blunt expression on his face even when he had s*x with me. I didn¡¯t know why he was behaving so desperately. ¡°Why? Because the 22nd Knights are garbage¡­?¡± Lepis¡¯s lips closed before staring at me again with a confused look. ¡°Then, what about you who suggested that if I spread my legs, I can meet Rewan?¡± At my words, his lips were firmly closed and he avoided my gaze. A time of silence passed. Lepis patted my head lightly with one hand. His eyes dimmed and had a dangerous light while he stared at me with eyes that seemed to swallow me at any moment. ¡°Just open it to me.¡± Lepis slowly unbuttoned his jacket. At first glance, a white, muscular body studded with beautiful muscles could be seen through the clothes. He was in better shape than I thought¡­? He completely took off his shirt and came up to me. The white shirt fell on the bed. Finally, I realized the situation and pushed him away. ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it better to be alone with me than to be turned away by the knights?¡± ¡­It was better to be turned around. The more things, the better, isn¡¯t it? ¡°Why would you care if I were to suffer from them¡­!¡± Suddenly, he kissed my lips. It was like he didn¡¯t want to listen to what I was saying. He pulled my arms up as I grabbed him, pushing him away. Biting my lip and opening my mouth, he thrust in his tongue to covet inside. Quickly scans my teeth, fumbling and moving his tongue. It was an urgent kiss with a hint of nervousness. I was faced with Lepis¡¯ mysterious gaze that was indescribable. I was enveloped in a strange feeling by that glance of despair as if crying with anxiety. ¡°I, too¡­¡± As he released the hands he was holding, his handprints remained thickly on my arms and his eyes were stained with confusion. ¡°I don¡¯t know why I care.¡± Lepis glanced at me blankly and hurriedly left the room as if he had come to his senses. He had forgotten to even put on his clothes. Where Lepis went, only his shirt remained. * * * Even if it was a temporary commander position, they came to take care of my clothes. Wearing the uniform of the black knights of the Carwen Empire, it felt awkward to wear a proper outfit after a long time. Hiding the expectations, I opened the door and headed to the 22nd Knights training ground. I doubted my eyes for a moment at the feast of flesh color I saw as soon as I opened the tightly closed door of the training ground. The first thing I saw was a man¡¯s large p*nis. I was genuinely amazed. Wow, are all the men here all grown up¡­? At first, I was a little embarrassed by the more extreme situation than I thought, though soon, I realized that I was envious. In the end, I was satisfied that I was able to enjoy a good performance without paying any money. It was real-time live p*rn. That guy was really f*cking big. And, look at the woman¡¯s chest shaking¡­ The best. One woman and two men, or two women and one man. However, sometimes they change partners. It wasn¡¯t just a training ground, it was a motel. They didn¡¯t seem to want to stop doing what they were doing even when I came in and didn¡¯t even care about it. I was a little sad, but I decided to stop their actions. ¡°What are you doing now?¡± Chapter 25 Chapter 25 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (7) ¡°¡­Can¡¯t you hear me now?¡± I just interrupted their actions with a wooden sword, thinking that I didn¡¯t need it at all and wanted them to attack me here. At that, they made a quick spurt in their movements before pulling out from the joint. They didn¡¯t even think about picking up their clothes from the floor and putting them on as if they don¡¯t feel reluctant to show their naked body to strangers. Well, it was a feast for the eyes. The smell of fishy s*men filled the hall in an instant. Wow, I did say that they were really crazy, though I never imagined that it would be this crazy¡­ Thank you, it was a nice sight. ¡°I have decided to take on the position of temporary Commander today.¡± In fact, I realized that this place didn¡¯t even need a temporary Commander position. Usually, the knight commander was responsible for guiding the training and handling the documents that came into the knighthood. However, the knights of the 22nd Knights did not even intend to train, and they had almost no external documents as they were abandoned by the family and even the Imperial Family. There was no work, so there was no official notice, and there was no need to settle their salary. They pay money to become knights. I didn¡¯t know why these knights existed, although there was no question. After all, we were going to separate after they became a d*ldo, what should I need to know¡­? They were disposable. They glanced at me with displeasure at the time interrupted, cross-legged in a disrespectful manner. What are you looking at, you petty thing. ¡°As you can see, we don¡¯t need a commander.¡± The tall man frowned and spoke to me. ¡°It is the Emperor¡¯s order.¡± When I answered without hesitation, he strode over to me and grabbed my chin with one hand. A large hand covered my entire chin. If his hands were this big, maybe his d*ck was big¡­? Well, I wish it was bigger. The man then looked at me and smiled, mocking me. ¡°We need someone to have s*x with.¡± ¡°¡­What?¡± ¡°You seem like the perfect match.¡± It was a snake-like smile. At the same time as tension, I felt a thrilling sensation at the dozens of gazes that ran through my body. ¡­Great. You can do anything. The man tore off my knight¡¯s uniform with one hand. The button that was neatly closed all the way to the neck fell off. There was no time to get embarrassed or rebel as my white flesh was exposed to the air. ¡°Let go of me!¡± I grabbed the man¡¯s hand and tried to pull it off, but the force was enormous. Yes, that¡¯s great! Please, harder. He carried me to the Commander¡¯s room with a vicious force. Hanging on one hand, I glanced through the training ground with my eyes. Some started having s*x again with the girls in the training ground, and some followed the tall man into the Commander¡¯s room. The man set me down on the table in the Commander¡¯s room with a strong force. ¡°¡­Kugh!¡± A strong pain swept through my body because of the throw. Not paying attention to me writhing in pain, the man took off my clothes and tied my arms up. ¡°Remove this right now.¡± I stared at the man with my arms tied while moving my body to and fro to stop him from taking off my pants. Ignoring my actions, he just ripped my pants off. It was a great grip and strength. ¡°Crazy. As soon as I came in, I went crazy¡­!¡± His incredibly large object pierced the inside in an instant. I was momentarily speechless at the enormous size and rigidity. Wow¡­ That was a real beast. It felt like a great foreign body like Distria. Every time he moved, my whole body shook. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you at least know the name of the person who¡¯s driving his c*ck in you? So, if you feel good about what you are doing today, you can come back next time.¡± ¡°My name is Alec,¡± He whispered in my ear. The next moment, the men who had been watching from the beginning of the insertion approached me. They sucked on my chest, touched it, made me grab their thing in my hand, and started a moving motion. Unlike the festival, when darkness engulfed, it was strangely more erotic because it was filled with bright lights. ¡°Kuht¡­ Stop¡­¡± Because the Knights, only in name, were also knights, their bodies were strong and wonderful. Did these guys take care of their bodies through s*x¡­? Alec grabbed my chest with his hands and teased my n*pples. The stiff inside complained of pain every time he moved. Excitement and passion were added to the painful sex that has touched me for a long time. Every time he moved, love liquid came out though it was dried up quickly by his rough actions. Alec grabbed my legs and lifted my buttocks. Having pulled out, he shoved it all the way to the root again. ¡°Huht¡­¡± ¡ªSlam! Slaamm! The violent sound filled the room to such an extent that I couldn¡¯t even think of it as the sound of having s*x. Pain and pleasure accompany the pounding. I gasped and shook my body. As I was about to scream in unbearable pain, my mouth was blocked by someone else¡¯s c*ck. ¡°It is precious, so suck it carefully.¡± I was gasping for breath, trying to fill the lack of breath. There was not enough oxygen because of the man¡¯s mercilessly poking thing. As my brain flickered with pleasure, hands groping tightly around my chest and body. Then, tears flowed from my eyes when the level of pleasure crossed the acceptable line. ¡°Hu-uhk¡­ huhk¡­!¡± Alec climaxed when I started crying. As if waiting for him to leave, someone else burrowed into me. Even though it wasn¡¯t as thick as Alec¡¯s, I felt happy because it was larger than the average Korean size. At least, it should be big. The man smiled wildly and wiped my tears with his hand. Soon, the man who moved in my mouth came and the fishy taste of s*men spread throughout my mouth. ¡°F*ck. She cries beautifully.¡± ¡°I want to do it, too. Hurry up and cum and get lost.¡± I shed tears at the pleasure that came over me. There was nothing I could do but breathe. The man suddenly turned me over. When I got into a position on top of the man, I lost my sense of balance in a moment of panic. Still, I avoided falling because of the hand holding my waist tightly. ¡°Huk, heup¡­ Please¡­stop¡­¡± ¡°Look at the tightening. It¡¯s so sticky?¡± Contrary to my plea, the man underneath began to kiss me. While lying down, he began to push his back. I struggled at the slight lack of stimulation when done from above and gave strength to my stomach and tightened around the man. ¡°Kugh¡­ Very tight.¡± I tried to pursue the lack of pleasure. Another man¡¯s hand ran through my anal before another person opened the opening of the anus with his finger and began to insert something hard, not the genitals. The cool thing was moving deeper and deeper. ¡°Ah¡­heuk¡ª!¡± ¡°Do you like anal? Damn, you¡¯re in a rut pretending to be noble?¡± ¡­Was it like an anal plug? It seemed that there were also adult products here. Was there anything else? Something like a rotor¡­ Someday, when the original story is over, I¡¯m going to have to go look for adult products. Oh, I liked the dildo I used in Korea. My inanimate boyfriend who took charge of the night without a s*x partner¡­ I really liked it because it even had up to five vibration levels. I wanted to bring it here¡­ ¡°Are you crazy, you¡¯re carrying it around?¡± ¡°Originally, I use it to play with other bitches, but her anal is so pretty.¡± ¡°She eats well.¡± The men¡¯s low-level gossip and laughter echoed in my ears. They stimulated the inside by inserting and withdrawing something similar to an anal plug deeply. It was my first time having anal s*x with this body, so I felt the stimulation that made it difficult to breathe again because of the stiffness and uncomfortable feeling of a foreign body. ¡°Wow! My c*ck¡¯s hungry.¡± ¡°Look at it dripping.¡± The thrusting speed of the anal plug was increased. At the same time, the speed of the man thrusting from below also increased. I gasped, feeling the climax approaching me. A little, a little more¡­ ¡ªBam. Then, the door opened, and to my surprise, all the men in the room stopped moving. Acacia was seen as a form in my blurred vision, covered in tears. Why was Acacia here ¡­? No, why here¡­? I rolled my eyes at the unexpected situation. He didn¡¯t have to come¡­ You bastard. I didn¡¯t know how to ride the gangbang route, but I knew that the 22nd Knights and Acacia were the main characters. Even though I remembered that Acacia helped Arne a lot, he didn¡¯t help on the gangbang route. [ Arne thought that it would be difficult to hold on to the Carwen Empire any longer. She was in a state of disrepair, mentally and physically. Today, she was violated by one person and another, and she led her staggered legs to visit Distria. With each step she took, semen flowed between her legs. ¡°I have no reason to be here. Send me where I was supposed to be.¡± She stared at Distria and said so. As he looked at her messed up look, he laughed out loud. He was glad she, who was dragged in and couldn¡¯t grasp her vision, looked overbearing and out of control. Arne had a dead look on her face. He gazed down at her. ¡°Crawl on the floor and come to me.¡± Arne¡¯s eyes flickered. Her knees, which were straight up, did not bend as if she had forgotten how to bend them. There was no more glimmer of hope in her hazy pupils. Still, she hesitated. In the midst of such despair, it was funny that she wanted to protect her self-esteem. Arne found herself oblivious to her own plight. Nonetheless, she dared not bend her knees. She was not guilty, why should she get down on her knees? Her legs trembled. ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°¡­Enough.¡± Distria somehow felt his feelings, which had just been happy, began to dissipate. But, Arne was straight and upright. Seeing that, his face contorted as he stared at her unfolded knees. ¡°If you win the duel with the 22nd Knights Commander, I will let you go¡­ with your escort.¡± A glimmer of hope appeared on Arne¡¯s face. He didn¡¯t like seeing hope in her dying eyes. Then, the glimmer of hope disappeared, and her face filled with despair was expected. ¡°I look forward to your swordsmanship skills as a king.¡± Leaving the place, he had no intention of letting her go easily. Arne despaired at the feelings of hope that he would set her free, she raised her head weakly at his words. She knew it was a vain hope. Nevertheless, she felt miserable for harboring feelings of hope. Tears streamed down her cheeks from both eyes. ] Chapter 26 Chapter 26 ¨C What Changes and What Doesn¡¯t Change (8) [ The duel between the 22nd Knights and Arne was decided by Acacia. The man named Alec, who was going to duel with Arne, was more than twice the size of her. She grabbed her wooden sword, which she had been holding for a long time, with both hands. Acacia announced the start of the match. Acacia silently watched the duel between Arne and Alec. Arne, who was relatively small, had a good sense of speed. Even though Alec was slow, every shot was the decisive factor. Seeing that, her determined eyes shook anxiously. Arne and Alec¡¯s wooden swords met. The wooden swords met and made a dull sound. His great power pushed her backwards It was just one blow although her wrists were already numb. Arne bit her lip and swung her wooden sword. She had not been holding a sword for a long time, and her stamina was still lacking, so it was sloppy. Alec began to face her sword half-heartedly. It was an act that could be found even with closing his eyes. Desperate for this situation, she looked like she was about to cry. Arne couldn¡¯t do anything while she was faced with a situation where she can do anything she wants, directly with her own hands. The tantrums rose in a sense of shame. Her broken body didn¡¯t move the way she thought it would. Please, please¡­ This damn body. A trash body that only knows how to be crushed under a man¡­ Arne despaired and again despaired. She swung her sword haphazardly. Then, the tip of her sword struck Alec¡¯s groin. ¡°Cough!¡± At that, Alec dropped his sword in the pain and grabbed his crotch. Arne looked at the place where Acacia was. She wished he would quickly acknowledge her victory, but he was not there. Goosebumps sprung up behind her back. Alec, who was hit in the center, grabbed her hair before throwing herself to the floor and muttered to her in a gloomy voice. ¡°I¡¯ll have to check with you to see if the c*ck is functioning properly.¡± Arne took a breath. She tried to force herself to push him away, though he didn¡¯t move as if a strong mountain was standing there. He tore the clothes off her and grabbed her chest. At that moment, she glanced around with anxious eyes. They all had their eyes shining as if they were seeing a rare sight, a rare spectacle. Among the many people, no one was on her side. As she despaired, Arne gave up rebelling. Since then, it was a dark battle. It was difficult to even count how many people coveted her. Arne despaired. Still, if she trained her body, she might be able to get out next time. She had vain hopes. ] ¡°¡­What. What is this?¡± A vicious voice resounded throughout the room. It was Acacia¡¯s voice. He pulled out the anal plug embedded inside at once before untying my hands and wrapping his arms around me with a cloak that slid over my own shoulders. The man¡¯s p*nis came out of me. Shi¡ªReally shi¡­iit. I was going to climax soon. ¡°Haa¡­ Move.¡± Acacia glared at them, full of wrath. When did the sword come out of the scabbard..? The cool face shone. I was really about to climax, but I shed tears in despair as I was held in his arms. His vivid worried look reached me. ¡°¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡± He apologized with a guilty expression as if he had admitted his crime. So soon¡­ I was at my climax, so couldn¡¯t he have come a little late? Thinking that, I glanced at him resentfully. ¡°I, I¡­am not qualified to be a knight.¡± Acacia murmured lowly. No. I hadn¡¯t been able to enjoy them all yet, I didn¡¯t want to leave the training ground yet. Nonetheless, he couldn¡¯t hear my words. I barely escaped the shock and moved my lips. ¡°¡­Let me go. If I leave¡­I can¡¯t meet Rewan.¡± Acacia¡¯s footsteps stopped. ¡°Is he that great of a man?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡­Was Rewan great? Rather than that, I wanted the c*ck of the men here. He stopped at the door in front of the training ground and moved slowly. ¡°Let me go!¡± I gazed up at him with pathetic eyes. There were a lot of p*nises that I hadn¡¯t eaten yet, so you couldn¡¯t just take me out like this¡­ It was an opportunity that would never come again. Besides, apart from the regret of not having s*x, there was a high possibility that if I left here, I would never really see Rewan again. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you want to see him to the point of beating yourself.¡± ¡°¡­Let me go.¡± ¡°Is he precious enough to throw away the pride you most wanted to protect?¡± I couldn¡¯t speak. Acacia, who had stopped for a moment, moved without hesitation. The 22nd Knights¡¯ training ground gradually moved away from my eyes. * * * It was his home where Acacia had brought me. It was a mansion near the imperial capital close to the Imperial Palace. As if to represent his personality, the room was neat, and there were almost no decorations to the point that I thought it was desolate. ¡°Put water in the bathroom.¡± At his command, the maid disappeared. Even though Acacia arrived at the mansion, he did not put me down from his arms. He held me in his arms and stood quietly at the entrance of the mansion. When the maid announced that she had finished the water, he moved slowly. He carefully removed the cloak and put me in the bathtub of water. The marble bathroom had an old-fashioned taste. Then, I peered around the bathroom slowly. Wow, he seemed to be living well¡­? The sound of splashing water filled the bathroom. I crouched down in the sadness that came over me. A firm touch that caressed me, and a sense of excitement that reached the climax. Although I couldn¡¯t reach my climax, I let out a low sigh of regret. ¡°¡­Are you okay?¡± ¡°¡­No.¡± He surprised me¡­ I was bewildered that Acacia, which I thought was not around, was present in the bathroom. Confused, his hand touched my shoulder for a moment. Feeling his breath on the edge of my neck, his strong arms wrapped around my neck. ¡°¡­It is not your fault.¡± Acacia hugged me tighter as if he didn¡¯t mind getting his clothes wet. For a moment, I was at a loss for words. His kind words echoed in my ears. ¡°No.¡± This was completely the result I wanted. It wasn¡¯t a matter of deciding what was wrong. I didn¡¯t deserve his sweet consolation, and I didn¡¯t need it. It was ironic that his kind consolation, words that I didn¡¯t need, were the words Arne wanted to hear so much. And, somehow¡­ I felt bad. ¡°¡­No.¡± Acacia¡¯s breath stopped. As I breathed in slowly, I turned my head to meet Acacia¡¯s face. He looked like he was about to cry. He wrapped his trembling hands around my face and stroked my face gently and slowly. ¡°¡­May I kiss you?¡± He asked me with a sad expression. When I closed my eyes slowly as though agreeing with him, Acacia¡¯s soft lips touched my lips. A soft tongue shoved into my gaping mouth, and I grabbed his wet clothes and clung to him like someone who pursues tenderness. His tongue gently pressed against the roof of my mouth and wrapped around me as he licked and sucked my lips. As he tried to take his lips away, I clung to him and chased his lips. He hugged me. Acacia¡¯s warm body temperature was felt through the wet and clinging clothes. After a deep kiss, I pulled my lips away. ¡°¡­Hold me.¡± I clung to him with a look of anxiety as if I was being chased by something impatient¡­ I stopped acting. I dragged him and pulled him into the spacious bathtub. Although there was no strength in me, he meekly was led into the bathtub. ¡ªSplash. The water in the bathtub poured down and made a loud noise. Once again, I kissed Acacia¡¯s lips first. I reached out and wrapped my hand around his waist. He had sympathy for who I was now, and I would use that sympathy to get him. ¡°¡­Will you not regret it?¡± ¡°¡­I want to erase it.¡± He hugged me. He carried me to the bedroom and moved his hand to remove all the wet clothes. However, the wetness made him unable to remove the clothes well, so he smiled awkwardly. At the same time, the unpleasant feelings that had been slowly engulfing my body disappeared. I was able to focus on having s*x with him. Acacia¡¯s back, which had nice muscles, was full of scars. Though it was the same for broad chest, too. I wiped the scar with my hand. I suddenly had a thought. Could I call him a character in a novel who lived a fierce life that I did not know¡­? He grabbed my hand, groping his scar. He bit my fingertips with his lips and chewed them well. His tongue, which climbed up from my fingertips, touched my shoulder. ¡°¡­.¡± It ran down my neck and bit my chest. Because it was a soft and gentle touch, it felt more like comfort than sex for lust or desire. I don¡¯t deserve consolation. A deep sense of guilt, which had been pushed aside for a while, came back. I valued pleasure first, and it always would be. I had no intention of changing. I was also the one, who drove Rewan, whom I had been living with for ten months, to his limbs. Now, this comfort from Acacia was not worth more than ¡®s*x¡¯ to me. ¡­Arne. Your country you wanted to rebuild. Your pride you tried not to give in. Your knight you were trying to protect. It was of no value to me. No value¡­ No feeling. Acacia¡¯s tongue touched my toes. He willingly leaned over and placed his lips on the top of my foot. It wasn¡¯t passionate, although it wasn¡¯t dull eyes either. My stomach churned in the eyes full of kindness. I reached out and touched Acacia¡¯s hair. His finger invaded my inside, which was wet with moisture. I stroked his head with one hand and kissed him finely on the cheek. Even though I was wet enough, he moved his fingers diligently as if trying to widen my insides. His p*nis, with its head raised, seemed to have reached the limit already, but he gazed at me with a worried face. ¡®Wow. It¡¯s huge. Almost like a weapon? He was such a great thing behind his pretty face, I¡¯m tempted¡­!¡¯ I glanced at him with an uncomfortable face. He promptly noticed the change in my expression and asked me. ¡°Are you uncomfortable?¡± ¡°¡­No.¡± Why was he so damn fast in noticing things? I quickly erased my expression and bit my lip. Glancing up at him with wet eyes, Acacia opened my lips with his fingers. ¡°Lips. It will hurt.¡± He slowly placed himself on the entrance and moved it up and down. A feeling of excitement flooded in when the hard, hot p*nis touched my entrance. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and he grabbed my waist tightly with one hand and started pushing it slowly from the entrance. ¡°Huht¡­¡± A soft moan escaped his mouth. ¡­That look was terrific. I bit his finger at the pressure that came over me. His face, as he began to move little by little, was distorted with pleasure. ¡°Haa¡­¡± He tried to move as slowly as possible in consideration of me. Acacia postponed his own sexual desire and stared at my expression as if he was trying to match me. He kissed my lips like he was having s*x with a lover. Whispering words of tender love¡­ words that lovers say, such as ¡®Pretty¡¯ or ¡®Lovely.¡¯ Acacia, who was moving his body, hugged me. He whispered softly. ¡°Today, nothing happened.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Nothing happened.¡± If these words, these sweet words were whispered to Arne instead of me, would she have been okay¡­? Now, I was thinking of something meaningless. Chapter 27 Chapter 27 ¨C Blanc Acacia (1) He didn¡¯t know exactly when, but the moment he first grabbed the sword¡­ That was the child¡¯s first memory. All the time, he was always with the sword. They were always together when he slept, when he ate, when he climbed the mountain, and when he ran the training ground. He wanted to keep the weight of the wooden sword heavy, though the child¡¯s teacher did not allow it. He drew strokes and strokes until his hand swelled, and he continued to swing. He went round and round the training ground until he got out of breath. The child did not know why he was holding the sword. He didn¡¯t even know how old he was or his name. He only knew the sword¡­ Still, he didn¡¯t know why he was holding the sword. Thousands of children ran around the training ground with swords. And, one by one, they disappeared. The child did not know where they were coming from or where they were going. After that, their bodies grew to a certain extent, and after intensive training, the surviving children began to study ¡ª study writing, and study etiquette. The remaining time was, again, with the sword. Even when studying, the sword was always tied to one part of the waist. When he turned his head after living frantically, some of the people around him disappeared. The child just quietly did what was given to him. He learned the sword, mastered the letters even more perfectly, and learned all kinds of knowledge, including literature and history. ¡°Chivalry has the meaning of honor, justification, and protection of the weak. Once you have chivalry, it is up to you with your swords to decide what to prioritize.¡± The child stared blankly at the sword tied around his waist. He did not wield the sword with any significant value. He didn¡¯t know what he wanted. The sword was just a way of life for a child, like eating a meal. ¡°A knight without faith is like a murderer. Always consider your own convictions before wielding a sword. Faith takes precedence over command.¡± ¡°The practice of the Blanc family is notorious for its harshness. If there is at least one reason to learn the sword, you will be able to withstand the harshness of it.¡± The child thought and pondered. He once again looked at the sword that was with him. Pulling out the slick, he polished sword. He raised his sword towards the sky. He always carried it in his arms and shared his joy and sorrows. Although he swung it meaninglessly, even though he had no energy in his body to even lift a sword, the child had never even thought of taking the sword off his hand. ¡°The Blanc family is the sword that protects the Emperor from generation to generation.¡± The knight¡¯s words continued. She explained chivalry, justice, history, and the benefits of swordsmanship to the human body. At the children¡¯s request, she even showed her sword skill with a big smile. It was beautiful and sharp. A year has passed since then. The children gathered around to practice, eat, talk, and go on dispatch missions. The Blanc family¡¯s training was as harsh as the knight said. After they stayed up for twenty hours, they climbed the mountain to catch a bear, and they were sent to the mountain to starve for three days. It was a series of life-threatening things. The child was alone in the group. Between the empires and kingdoms, a peaceful atmosphere had already been established for more than a hundred years. The child didn¡¯t know why he had to train so much that his death was the price. Nevertheless, the child continued to accomplish his mission silently. The price of a momentary mistake was death. ¡°I asked you to write down why you should learn the sword. You¡¯re the only one who did not give a reason.¡± Blanc Asteron, the head of the Blanc family, the person he met for the first time in his life¡­ The child hurriedly took a bow and glanced at him. Asteron has blue hair and golden eyes. The child looked around and couldn¡¯t find a single place that looked like him. He couldn¡¯t contain his pure curiosity. It was a question that popped up out of nowhere. ¡°¡­Am I your son?¡± Asteron laughed out loud as his eyes gleamed dangerously. The child trembled at the creepy gaze that caught him. ¡°If you write down the reason why you should learn the sword, I will let you know.¡± Asteron patted the child on the shoulder and stepped out. He shouted behind Asteron, who had already gone too far. ¡°Why are you learning the sword!¡± Asteron¡¯s steps stopped. ¡°I wanted to learn the sword for the weak. Now, I raise my sword for honor.¡± Although invisible to the child, Asterone laughed bitterly. * * * Two years later, the child who went on his mission was seriously injured and wounded. The child¡¯s body was constantly dwindling, and his fever rose. Poison¡­ because of poison. He gasped for breath every day¡ªthings like lights spread out like a panorama. The child shook his head. He did not endure so many hard days to die so easily¡­ His life couldn¡¯t end here. Even then, he thought that it would be better for him to stop breathing if the pain was enough to put his mind to rest. The child cried, and laughed like crazy. Screams cried out at his pain. In the midst of this pain, he stopped breathing at the thought passing through his head. At that time, the disappearing children did not disappear, but were dead. The child thought so. Asteron¡­ Numerous children who were not like him and under his care were also not his children. It was not possible to have so many children of the same age that were born at the same time. However, the child did not doubt that they were brothers of blood. Still, it wasn¡¯t. They were all children who had been picked up from somewhere. Perhaps, it was because his death was imminent, or the child¡¯s brain was spinning rapidly as his sufferings approached. The child stumbled one last time and went to find his father, who had not seen a single hair. His shimmering sight found the bluish hair. The child asked him, hiding his expression contorted in pain. ¡°¡­Am I your child?¡± ¡°You are bold even in the face of death.¡± He laughed. At the same time, the child¡¯s heart fell to the floor. He wasn¡¯t Asterone¡¯s child either. No one, not even a beast, would stare at the death of their children with such eyes. ¡°I want to say no if you can¡¯t escape that death. My son is not that weak.¡± ¡°¡­Is that so.¡± The child turned his head. He headed to his own room. How did he live until today¡­? He didn¡¯t want to die here. He stayed up all night, starved for food, and was thrown into the battlefield, and he had been living a life of his own. Overcoming death crisis countless times. The scars of a miserable life were engraved all over his body for a child who had been living a life of recklessness. As a result, the child survived. He stayed ill for a few more nights, and then he came back to life. As soon as the child woke up from the bed, he went to see Asteron. ¡°¡­Am I your son?¡± Asteron drank the tea and glanced at the child. The child did not know why he was obsessed with his birth. He didn¡¯t know why he was so obsessed with hearing that he was Asteron¡¯s son, even though he knew he wasn¡¯t Asteron¡¯s. No, he actually knew¡­ The child did not want to become a disposable accessory like other children. ¡°¡­My son is a knight.¡± ¡°¡­Is that so.¡± The child stared at Asteron. He slowly and politely walked out of the room. Bitting his lips, he said that one day when his swordsmanship was ready, he would make protecting the weak as his top priority. He felt that he didn¡¯t want to be someone who used people as an accessory like Asteron. He thought he wanted to uphold the values ??that Asteron had abandoned¡­ The child was different from Asteron. He thought it would be possible. * * * After that, the child prepared for the knight promotion exam. In the meantime, the child has watched many people die from training. He couldn¡¯t stop. He was equipped with skills, but he could not save any of them. Among the dead, there were children who wanted to learn the sword to protect the weak. The child gave himself up. When the weak die by the sword that they wanted to learn to protect the weak, what kind of sword was that¡­? His eyes, brimming with enthusiasm, cooled with despair and became dead. He saw the death of many. Even those who came back alive with their teeth clenched lost their lives in one clumsy mistake¡­ Or, out of fear, sometimes out of pity, they lost their life. Empty your emotions and cut them¡­ He later vowed not to do that¡­ The kid on his mission was sometimes confused. He didn¡¯t know who the enemy was. Was the beast in front of him an enemy? Were the looters coming down from the north the enemy? Driven by death, despairing in fear. Desperate to see people dying¡­ He lost a friend overnight, and lost a part of his body when he was caught up in his emotions. It was directly related to death. They waited for death. Even so, the children did not swear even once to Asteron, who was doing this training. They knew as long as they endure training well and become a person that Asterone was satisfied with. They could eat freshly cooked meals in a warm house, not on the street¡ªthat they could lie down in a cozy bed. So, they were satisfied. However, since the child had no memory of wandering around before grabbing the sword, he was constantly curious and questioned. Several more years passed. The knight exam of the Carwen Empire was notorious for its notoriety. Deathmatch, if you don¡¯t kill, you die¡­ Someone had to die to win or lose. The child often fought with others. He stayed up for several nights, and one day he purposely caught a cold. He knew he wouldn¡¯t die from practice matches with the kids, so he worked hard to get the best grades in the worst conditions. The child gradually became a monster. The child, wanting to live, threw himself to death and practiced the sword recklessly. Why did he have to learn the sword as he was driven to death¡­? The reason that even the child who practiced swords like a reckless child did not know. On the day of the knight exam, for the first time, the child killed a person. Red blood stains spattered where he passed. Until now, the child had never taken a person¡¯s life directly. ¡­He raised his sword to protect the weak, though he had stood at the top by killing the weak. Was the tip of his sword pointing towards those who wanted to harm the weak? Was it directed towards the weak¡­? Only silent questions spread. The child stared blankly at the place he had swept away. His own swordsmanship was not at the level of a human. He could feel a presence with his eyes closed, and even if one of his legs was broken, he could handle two adult men. After receiving the knighthood, he returned to the Blanc family wearing the knight¡¯s uniform. He took his luggage from the room he was staying in. Asteron came directly to the room of the child who became a knight. It was a room that Asteron did not come to visit, even when the child was battling a disease, or even when he was about to die. He met Asterone¡¯s gaze. ¡°Acacia. You are my child.¡± Asteron spat out calmly. Blanc Acacia¡­ He whispered his name in his mind. Hidden love. It wasn¡¯t even a funny name. After years of hard work, he heard the word son¡­ However, he wasn¡¯t happy at all. He had to admit a fact he didn¡¯t want to admit. He simply became the most useful person for the family. Like all the children here, he was freed from becoming a disposable accessory at any time. Still, that didn¡¯t make him special. He just became the first knight among the children here¡­ He was the accessory. After years and years¡­ decades. He was a disposable accessory. All the children here were like that. When they grew up and succeeded, they would be given a name and be treated like a son. The child memorized his given name. ¡­Acacia. Acacia. And then, he found out his age. He was twenty years old. It was the age of the youngest person to be appointed as a knight. Chapter 28 Chapter 28 ¨C Blanc Acacia (2) After Acacia became a knight, he never went to the Blanc family. As soon as he was appointed as a knight, Asteron issued a resignation letter. Thus, he became the only Blanc family knight in the Imperial Palace. At first, Acacia liked it, thinking that he would never meet Asteron at the Imperial Palace. After the next knight exam was over, he was puzzled. Acacia had never heard of Blanc knights being produced even though there were many such children who would have passed the knight exam if they had outstanding skills to fight on an equal footing with him. Acacia thought for a moment. And, although he tried to ignore it, he came up with a hypothesis¡­ He thought they were all dead from the process of becoming a knight. After several knight exams passed, he despaired once again. However, not one ¡ª not a single one appeared from Blanc. ¡­What did he learn the sword for? He despaired of meaninglessness. He himself was different from Asteron. He unintentionally killed others to turn away from Asteron. He didn¡¯t know that if he had stopped by the house, the children would not have died. It wasn¡¯t his fault. Still, Acacia thought that his life was a sin. It wasn¡¯t because he turned away that the children died. He felt guilty, even though he knew it wasn¡¯t his fault. ¡­Guilt. The weight of life weighing down on him. The strong survive, and the weak die. If the one who learns the sword to protect the weak died because he was weak. It was¡­ One day in winter, barbarians came down. They robbed, killed, and trampled women. Acacia grabbed the chieftain of those who had come down, put her in the torture chamber, and took a rest. The breath he exhaled in the cold season spreads white. As he was still the low-level knight, the supplies provided were insignificant. He put on his sloppy knitted hat and headed to the torture chamber. ¡°Crazy people. This is all because our land has been taken away! You will receive the karma of your ancestors.¡± In the torture chamber, several knights were already surrounding and watching the barbarian chieftain. The barbarian chieftain glared at the knights with venomous eyes. Acacia stood at a distance and watched their actions without a word. A knight gently stroked the barbarian¡¯s cheek. ¡°I heard you have a daughter.¡± The barbarian chieftain¡¯s face turned white. At the same time, Acacia¡¯s face turned white as well. A knight who respected chivalry took the chieftain¡¯s daughter as a hostage, the child who did not know the world was smiling while biting the sugar cookie the knight had given her. Acacia felt like he was watching a play. A knight. A knight¡­ A demon in the disguise of a knight. A person who valued ??honor and cause and carried a sword to protect the weak¡­ was threatening the weakness as an excuse. In order to protect the weak of the Carwen Empire, was it right to intimidate others? ¡°Mom! These people are good¡­¡± ¡°You¡­! You¡ª!¡± ¡°Tell me your base.¡± The chieftain¡¯s lips were firmly shut. In the chilly atmosphere of the room, the child stepped backwards, and a knight grabbed her arm. The child screamed as one of her fingers was cut off. Acacia stared blankly at the scene before moving on. Blanc was the sword that protected the Imperial family from generation to generation. ¡­He was the sword that protected the Imperial family and the sword that protected the weak. Acacia took his steps once more. The girl¡¯s scream was heard again in his ear. He shut his eyes. He constantly walked forward, thinking that he had entered the torture chamber for nothing. The priority of the knights was the safety of the empire, and it was right to deal with those who threatened it. Nonetheless, even if it was true, he remembered the despair of the dying and the weak that had cooled and turned into the light of death, and he remembered himself, who pretended not to know their death. At that time, he remembered the day he chose the reason he was learning the sword. He would be different from Asteron. He was different from him¡­ Taking advantage of his life, he did not trample the weak. Now¡­ His present self. Acacia laughed bitterly. He was just like Asteron, and he thought he must have walked up the same path as Asteron. He visited the torture chamber the next day. The child¡¯s body had become rags and smashed to such an extent that the shape was unknown. The barbarian chieftain was in a similar state. However, she was still alive and dying. It felt indescribable. Even while her daughter was being tortured, she did not reveal her base. She thought of the cause rather than her own private feelings. She thought of others left behind. Perhaps, it was a more knightly act than the knights who persecuted her. Acacia knelt down on one of his knees and bowed. ¡®You, you¡­ You are an honorable person.¡¯ He murmured inside, and he mocked himself. It was Acacia himself who ended her life. * * * A year after he became the commander of the 15th Knights, he was twenty-five. The Fourth Prince came. Distria stared at Acacia without a word. He raised the corners of his lips and smiled. ¡°You didn¡¯t look like him.¡± He stared at him with cool eyes. Acacia stiffened his body at the unexpected words. Even though he was not Asteron¡¯s son, he was now Asteron¡¯s only son. If the Emperor took issue with his birth as not being Asteron¡¯s biological son, then again¡­ Asteron was taking children and training them, and many children died. Acacia lied. ¡°I resemble my mother a lot.¡± It was the first lie he had ever told. He spoke of the Mistress of Blanc, whom he had never seen before¡­ He spoke of a mother he had never seen before. ¡°Will you be my escort?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Distria asked Acacia. He was silent for a moment, unable to grasp his intentions. He quickly became the commander of the Knights Order as a Blanc, the sword that protected the Imperial Family. After that, he met the Fourth Prince, who he had never met before. In addition, he also met the other princes once when he became commander of the Knights Order. Every time they came, they told him to be their escort, giving him gold and money. Still, Acacia was a person without worldly desires so he politely declined all of them. ¡°I heard that your skill is so outstanding.¡± Distria whispered softly, looking at Acacia¡¯s face. ¡°I want to become Emperor.¡± Even though his words were no different from the previous princes, Acacia posed a question to him, who came empty-handed, unlike the others. Unlike other princes, he gave Distria the opportunity to make him his knight. ¡°¡­What kind of Emperor do you plan to become?¡± He stared at Acacia and laughed as if it was funny. The corners of his eyes were folded in a half-moon shape. Acacia was an interesting guy, as Asteron told him. He could not feel the slightest sense of guilt towards Acacia, who was about to serve the wrong master. He calmly, without any emotion, lied to get him as Asteron had told him. To feel guilty about such a trivial thing. ¡°I want to build a fence to protect the weak. I want you to join my plan¡­¡± Distria considered himself dirty. Pretending not to know of the contempt that grew from within, he calmly acted with an expressionless face. Life was tiring¡­ Would anything change when he became Emperor and was at the peak of all power¡­? Wouldn¡¯t anyone bother him? Can he get everything he wants? Acacia felt something rising inside him. He wanted to use his sword for the weak. But, his convictions faded like a candle before the wind, and he was forced to despise himself. So, he rationalized himself in the end. He had no choice but to do so¡­ That was for the best. ¡­Would it be different if he became Distria¡¯s knight? Eventually, Acacia slowly fell to his knees and bowed his head. ¡°I am Blanc Acacia.¡± Acacia became his knight. * * * The task that Distria gave to Acacia was usually to eradicate the corrupt nobles. By day, he worked as a knight commander, and by night, he went to kill nobles. The blade of his sword was constantly dripping with blood, and the tip of the sword drank blood incessantly. The pure white color of the sword was still shining, but every time he took it out, it smelled fishy. He felt bliss. It seemed that he was only now fulfilling his own justice of punishing evil and keeping good. It seemed that the justice of life he had lived so far was now being realized. He thought he was a different person from Asteron. He felt joy. Sometimes, he killed the family of the acquaintance and went to the funeral. It wasn¡¯t to pay tribute to anyone. Seeing the locals even ignoring such a man¡¯s word, he secretly laughed to himself. It seemed like he was using the sword properly now. Acacia looked numbly at those who mourned over those he had killed. He thought they deserved death. Distria did not force Acacia to kill. It was his free will to show the man¡¯s corruption, to show their deeds, and to choose whether to kill them or not. From a list of corrupt nobles selected by Distria, more than a dozen people had already died by his choice. The person whom he killed this time was a Lord who collected more taxes than necessary and abused the locals with harsh labor. However, it was magnificent for a funeral of such a fiend that many locals honored him. Acacia was enveloped in strange emotions. He wondered if the person he killed deserved death. Pretending not to know, he approached a local who was weeping sadly with a chrysanthemum flower. ¡°Lord East was a good person.¡± The local glanced at Acacia and began to speak, wiping away his tears. He sometimes laughed, cried, and got angry. The Lord was a good man and a good nobleman. The reason he collected a lot of tax was that he funded a joint purchase of grain and distributed it equally in proportion to the number of the family members. He said that he invested about half of the original tax that he had to actually collect and passed it on to the members in abundance. The harsh labor was said to be done voluntarily by locals who were so grateful. Acacia was shocked for a moment, unable to continue his words. Tears welled up from the corners of his aimlessly swaying eyes. After finishing the story, the local looked at Acacia. They panicked and handed him a handkerchief. ¡°The Lord was a very nice person. So many people cry for him¡­¡± Acacia refused the local¡¯s handkerchief. He himself didn¡¯t deserve even that little favor. He killed the man the local respected. He felt sorry for it and wept incessantly. As the sun went down, he left the funeral home. Acacia began to investigate the people he had killed ¡ª half deserved death, half didn¡¯t. Did they ever deserve to die? Since when did he get used to killing people¡­? If there were two categories of people who deserve to die and those who deserve to live¡­ He deserved to die. Acacia sneered at himself. While he lived with his sword, the values ??he wanted were unattainable in this world. But, he didn¡¯t know whether it was his intention to hold the sword or not. He believed only the data the Prince gave him and killed people without question, so he couldn¡¯t argue with him. He gave up thinking. He gave up on living as a knight. After all, he was just an ugly demon who felt the joy of killing people for a while¡­ He faithfully fulfilled his role as Distria¡¯s hunting dog. Acacia became his sword. Two more years passed, and Distria became Emperor. Chapter 29 Chapter 29 ¨C Blanc Acacia (End) Distria, who became Emperor, was merciless. He dealt with his will and other nobles through Acacia. Even the nobles who could not work and were slow to act were also dealt with. Occasionally, nobles who took care of their own interests were also dealt with ¡ª even all of those who sometimes offended Raphael. Some sinned, some were not, some were evil, and some were good. Acacia swung his sword when told to kill. He had no thoughts about anything. Acacia silently carried out his orders. It was then that he thought of the children Asteron had caused to death. Perhaps, he was trying to live. He was in a rush to live, so he threw other people¡¯s lives into the gutter¡­ Yet he survived. In the end, the living won. If he wanted to live, he died; if he wanted to die, he lived. In order to live, a human¡¯s reason was something that could be thrown away. It was the Emperor who drove the nobles to death¡­ All deaths within the peaceful Carwen Empire came from the Emperor. Acacia was the sword that protected the empire and the sword of the emperor. If he wanted to, at least one human life was worth less than a wildflower blooming on the roadside. He trampled on it haphazardly. He didn¡¯t even feel guilty about it. The imperial palace always smelled of blood. His age was twenty-seven. He heard that barbarians had descended from the north. Acacia didn¡¯t have to go, though he chose to go north on his own. He wanted to get out of this damn Imperial Palace. A bitter wind blew, and the cold swept over his body. Acacia had the thought that he wanted to end his life here at that moment. He laid himself down on the snow-covered ground. His body was shivering cold, but it was strangely warm. He closed his eyes as the snow slowly piled up over his body. He suddenly regained his composure and got up. The snow piled up and fell. He wrapped his arms around his trembling body. He shouldn¡¯t die yet. He was still¡­ Acacia planned to live until Asteron died. He had to get rid of Blanc, and his reason to die had to disappear. Until it was not possible to find the body¡­ Scattered in pieces and here and there so that they do not have eternal rest. Acacia thought that was the price of sin. ¡°Commander, we have found the base of the barbarians.¡± He raised his sword. He planted the flag and drove his horse. After running for a long time and overcoming the raging snow, he arrived at a small village with young children. ¡°Haa¡­¡± Acacia let out a low sigh. Now they were even killing kids. Although he gave up his knighthood, he never gave up being a human. Raising his sword high, he slashed it. At that moment, he saw the children who didn¡¯t know how to grow up and cut them all with his own hands. Although he despised himself, he burned the entire house. He left no traces. ¡­Since when had it been so easy to kill people? Acacia realized that he had given up being a knight and also given up being a human being. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn¡¯t find the guilt the moment he killed them. He was not a person. Blood was dripping from the well-polished blade. As soon as they returned to the north, Distria gave an order to destroy the Kingdom of Sorano. He gladly accepted the order. Acacia knew the kingdom of Sorano had done nothing wrong. He just followed it as a habit ¡ª He fulfilled and fulfilled. He slaughtered, trampled, and killed those who fiercely resisted, blaspheming their deaths. He was the one who did not betray his master until the very end, at least, in the face of death. He cursed to make the death of such people a fear. He robbed, he took their territories, took their houses of those who served the wrong king¡­ War was like that. Acacia suffered from vomiting from the slaughter that he encountered every night. It was a feeling of vomiting that came from a physical rejection¡­ Vomiting from looking at an imperial palace or battlefield with slaughtered corpses and pools of blood. A bloody smell, now quite familiar, stung his nose. ¡­No, an unfamiliar smell of blood lingered on the tip of his nose. Even after washing, the smell of blood on him didn¡¯t seem to go away. Acacia gathered his heart. He closed his eyes. He did what he deserved as a knight. ¡­What. It was right to raise his honor as a knight. ¡­What honor. As a knight¡­ In less than two weeks after his departure, he dealt with all the leaders and seized the victory. Acacia donated all the land of the Kingdom of Sorano to the temple as ordered by Distria. And, he was recognized for the fall of the kingdom of Sorano. One month. It only took a month to clear the Kingdom of Sorano from the map. Taking away the place where someone¡¯s life was all about, taking away the country. All in just one month. He returned with the paper with all the seals on it and looked at it with grave eyes. Arne¡­ The Emperor¡¯s new toy should reduce the number of people dying. He got used to that kind of relationship of being used. Acacia found it more comfortable. As he thought, Distria was obsessed with the new toy and didn¡¯t care about anyone else. His study and office were full of blood, and the hallway smelled like melting candles. It was a terrible peace obtained by selling the comfort of others. He was still at the center of it. ¡­It was he who shed the blood as well. He was the one to stop. So, Acacia forgot her. He wanted to forget. There were many nobles who had been captured like Arne. Within just a few months, they broke their faith and licked the Emperor¡¯s foot. Contrary to her delicate body, she was stronger than anyone. Still, it was right to sleep with the Emperor and the nobles to extend her lifespan. Acacia watched the process of Arne¡¯s body getting stamped. Despite the hot iron being touched on her, Arne didn¡¯t even let out a single scream. Her body swayed like a lamp under a wind with the external pressure, though her eyes, which showed her will, did not change. After experiencing the pain, she did not move her body once, even as her thigh was stamped. Arne kept herself straight in the face of fear where others would have avoided and terrified. She didn¡¯t curl up to escape the pain, and she didn¡¯t run away ugly. Her eyes gleamed as if she said that in no way that could break her will. Acacia felt as if his head was hit with a stone. He was overcome with strange emotions. When he heard that she had slept with the Emperor, he thought that she had also given up being king. However, the Arne he saw today was not the woman he thought she was. She was stronger than anyone else, more upright than anyone, and straighter than anyone else. She was closer to the King than anyone else¡­ more than anyone else. They could break her body, but they couldn¡¯t break her will. Acacia was ashamed. Even though he could have refused, he gave up on everything and followed Distria¡¯s orders. That he trampled on his motherland, giving up his beliefs. He was embarrassed. After seeing Arne that day, Acacia often disobeyed Distria¡¯s orders. He thought of death whenever he refused his orders, even though it was Acacia, the greatest sword of the Empire. Because he thought he had to die if he wanted to. It was useless training, a time of patience, and a time of pain. He thought so. Distria ordered him to guard Arne¡¯s door, saying he needed a break. It was a demotion ¡ª From the Emperor¡¯s escort to a door guard. Acacia was rather grateful not to have to harm anyone. He guarded the door of Arne¡¯s room. Even in this situation, she never showed any despair. So, Acacia treated her as a king because her original place was not here. Arne was a person of few words. Usually, he just had to put the medicine to heal the wound. Sometimes, he asked the maid to wash her. Arne did not lose her dignity even in this situation and that made his heart flutter. She always stood before the fear of death. It was an ordinary day for him. It was peaceful where no one was killed. ¡°I want to see Rewan.¡± One day, as Arne said that to him. Acacia thought of her death. He thought of himself cutting her throat¡­ He thought he was going to set fire to the Palace again as she died. Acacia was silent. He pretended not to hear. Arne gazed at him and turned her head. If she held up, he didn¡¯t have to kill anyone. How long¡­ Until her body broke to pieces? Until her death¡­? Acacia despised his unchanging ugly self. He pushed someone into her limbs because of his personal feelings that he didn¡¯t want to kill anyone. He became a sword and gave up being a knight, giving up being a human. He easily pretended not to know about the death of others and killed someone easily. Even so, the determined eyes that Arne showed him were terrifying, and his heart was pounding. That night Acacia had a dream. It was a nightmare. Again, he couldn¡¯t sleep easily. It was the harmonious family of those he killed. Even if he couldn¡¯t sleep, he could easily kill people. He was the one who was trained to kill people under any circumstances. The knight who had taught him once said that a knight without faith was just a murderer. Acacia had no faith. * * * The Emperor hastily looked for him. When Acacia heard the servant¡¯s message, he headed to Distria¡¯s office. Acacia greeted him lightly before quickly scanning the surroundings with his eyes. Fortunately, there were only Distria and him in the office. There was no white paper that the Emperor always handed over. He was relieved that he didn¡¯t have to kill anyone. Distria looked at Acacia once and beckoned. Seeing that, he approached the table on one side of the office and sat down. ¡°I think it¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve seen your face.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Distria got up from his seat and sat down facing Acacia. The maid served tea and refreshments. In the first place, he had never had such a tender spot with Distria since he became his sword. Acacia fiddled with the teacup. He had no intention of drinking the tea he gave ¡°Are you afraid you might get poisoned?¡± At his cynical words, Acacia¡¯s hand gestures stopped. He took the teacup lightly, put it in his mouth, and swallowed it. It was bitter. Acacia put the remaining half down. ¡°No.¡± He was uncomfortable facing him. Distria was always the one who gave orders to kill people with a numb face. Though now, he called him and said nothing, simply drank tea in silence and ate the refreshments like this. Out of the countless days that Distria called him, for the first time, he didn¡¯t order people to be killed. Eventually, Acacia hurried to the room where Arne was. It bothered him that Arne was left alone. Through the gap in the doorway, he could see Arne biting her lip under Raphael. Acacia felt his head grow cold. It was Arne¡¯s pain that he ignored. It was then that he realized why the Emperor had called him. He couldn¡¯t even get in, and he stood in front of the door blankly for a while. He stepped back. He had seen Distria, who didn¡¯t order him to kill anyone, and thought he might change. He was at ease. He and Acacia were both created human beings. As he gave up being human, the sense of guilt he had lost was creeping up. Guilt ate some of his brain. Acacia thought of the nobles of the kingdom of Sorano he had killed and remembered the people he had killed¡­ He thought of the children. Acacia ran until he was out of breath. He ran, ran, and ran. He enjoyed the peace he had gained by eating others¡¯ peace as he could feel the determination in Arne¡¯s eyes, yet he ignored her pain. He couldn¡¯t properly look at Arne in the rush of guilt. Wiping her messy body with a wet towel, he was unable to breathe. Still today, she wanted to see Rewan. Even though he told her of her death, he remembered her vivid expression, who was not afraid. ¡­When was it, the day he decided to become a knight? He thought he would uphold the values ??Asteron had abandoned, and not treat others like disposable. But, he quickly adapted to reality. Still, he felt guilty. He was a contradictory person. He suffered from not being able to adapt to reality and compromised with the pain. Crushed by the pain, he forgot his guilt and gave up being human. He was a terribly selfish person¡­ No, he was a terribly selfish beast. Acacia thought of Arne. He remembered her uprightness. He remembered her being upright in front of external pressure. It reminded him of his forgotten guilt. He¡­he was so ashamed of himself. He was so ashamed of himself for wanting to be a human now. Acacia admired Arne. It was so wonderful that he continued to hold on to the upright convictions he had given up. He dared to admire her, and he wanted to be like her. There was a time when he thought that Arne was more of a king. He was wrong. She was not just more of a king. Arne was King. Chapter 30 Chapter 30 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (1) From that day on, Acacia often kissed me first. Otherwise, he stroked my hair with a gentle hand or did something similar. Of course, he didn¡¯t touch me more than a kiss. I was a little sad about that. Although s*x with Acacia wasn¡¯t violent, I liked it because he had a big c*ck. The big ones are the best. The lack of technique was compensated by the size. Plus, the first time I had s*x with him, I came. It was pretty satisfying. Of course, he was a little clumsy, but I also liked the way he was trying to be considerate of me. It felt fresh. As I stared into his face, Acacia gazed me in the eye. With a gentle hand, he ran my hair down to my ear as he looked at me with worried eyes before whispering in my ear. ¡°You will be able to meet Rewan tonight.¡± Acacia seemed to pay attention to whether or not I was offended by the remarks. Would I think that I would meet Rewan in exchange for sleeping with him¡­? It was the details I didn¡¯t even pay attention to. Then, I nodded slowly, ignoring him, who was still standing in front of me when he had finished talking. He turned his head away, feeling a little uncomfortable. Since that day, my relationship with Acacia had not changed. He still treated me as a king, and he sympathized with me¡­ Or love. No, such feelings could not be found in Acacia. Above all, it seemed that he was not conscious of the fact that he held me that day. He stared at my back for a while and then walked out of the room. I glanced out the window to see Acacia¡¯s back disappearing on horseback. Three days have passed since the day I had an affair with the 22nd Knights. Acacia told me to rest here in peace. Seeing him moving away from his mansion, I lied comfortably on the bed. Again, this was forced abstinence. I felt hopeless. I used to have s*x almost every day. Why did I have such a long abstinence period¡­? Well, if you do it every day, you might die from s*x. Still, compared to when I was imprisoned, watched, and abstained in the Imperial Palace, now was better. This place, which Acacia had firmly covered, was not easily visited by people. Enough to call the handmaiden only when I need it? It was his consideration for Arne, who would have a hard time seeing strangers. I wasn¡¯t at all though. Thanks to that, I spent more time alone. Unlike in the Imperial Palace, it was sometimes possible to masturbate. I¡¯d never done it before, though. Let¡¯s try it once it comes to mind. I haven¡¯t had s*x in a long time, but¡­ I got out of bed and leaned against the door. Because of the times, the soundproofing was not good. I opened the door slightly and checked the hallway to make sure no one was there. I then closed the door so that no sound could leak out and locked it with the lock. I walked over to the bed and covered myself with a blanket. For some reason, I felt similar to when I watched porn without other people¡¯s knowledge when I was young. The thrill of doing it secretly? Feeling immoral that you are doing something wrong¡­? Such things. I touched my chest with a soft hand, drawing a circle over the soft clothes. Little by little, more force and the n*pples stand upright. Hot breath came out of my body that started to feel hot. ¡°Haa¡­¡± As I became sensitive and felt the moisture dripping from underneath, I hurriedly took off my underwear. I shut my mouth tightly to prevent the moan from leaking and pulled and pinched the nipple, which was standing very sensitively. I could feel the liquid pouring down and crossed my legs. Soon, I slipped one finger down, stimulating the already sensitive enough bottom that was expecting pleasure. ¡°¡­Huht!¡± Stabbing the cl*toris and increasing the number of fingers. I didn¡¯t move a few times, but the number of fingers squeezed inside made me reach a sense of climax. I really liked Arne¡¯s sensitive body. I closed my eyes, gasping for breath, and concentrated on the action. I remembered the Knights gangbang route that ended unfortunately¡­ The many touches and greedy gazes that groped me. I remembered Alec¡¯s hard and ecstatic p*nis, and the s*x with Raphael. Thinking about this and that, I moved my fingers faster and increased the speed. The bottom was already filled with love liquid, and it made a muddy sound as it moved. Three fingers were put in, but I burned with the unsatisfactory thickness. I moved my back and tried to satisfy the lack but to no avail. ¡°Uhh¡­ Uht, hu¡­¡± I got used to the big p*nises of the men here, and pleasuring myself was not enough. No, why do I have to be alone in the first place¡­? What are you doing with the unusually sized penis without fucking it? This was sad. Even if I f*ck all the men in the Imperial Palace, I didn¡¯t think there would be enough time until I die. ¡°¡­.¡± I reached the climax by quickly attacking the parts that felt it most. With the afterglow of the climax, I ruffled my hair with my other hand in the deep reality that came at the same time. ¡­I¡¯m crazy There were men out there, but I had to do it alone. It was funny, I didn¡¯t like it either. Still, thinking about the future, it was a profitable business. Just finish the original story. Then, I¡¯m going to fuck all the men here in the Imperial Palace. * * * Originally, Acacia would have refused to bring Rewan, but I instinctively felt it. This was my last chance to meet Rewan. I had to meet him, even ignoring things like the character¡¯s personality and probability. In addition, there are scenes in the original story where the probability was sometimes cut off, and s*x happened, so I thought that this would be okay. Moreover, I had something to say to Rewan. When I look at Acacia, I think of Rewan, I think of him, and all of that. I acknowledge my feelings for Rewan. It was a feeling similar to love. However, I didn¡¯t like being hung up on things that could be instantaneous and changeable, with no guarantee of ¡®eternity.¡¯ Things that change in the end while promising eternity, such as love or friendship ¡ª variable things that may not change, though change eventually. It was uncomfortable. Things like being number one for someone, longing for someone, and yearning for someone¡­ love or such feelings. It was unpleasant. Having to fit myself into the ideal frame that someone wants. I was chasing momentary pleasures and seeking only the pleasures right in front of me, but, unfortunately, I didn¡¯t quite like change. Love could always change. The pleasure in front of me was fleeting, but its essence did not change. Love was one of the things I didn¡¯t need in my life. When I met Rewan today, I was going to tell him to get out of here. Dr*gs, multiple people¡­ I love such a happy life. The one I loved could not provide the pleasure I wanted. Besides, I didn¡¯t want to hang on to a love that would end someday. In Korea, doing nothing and only having sex would have been impossible, but not here. It was difficult to go back after coming this far. I thought it had to be like that because I thought love was an unnecessary emotion. Spending the night with anyone, f*cking with anyone. I liked the pleasure that accompanies the sudden heat. I¡¯m used to using and throwing people away. In fact, even telling Rewan to leave might be selfish because I didn¡¯t want to see the death of someone I cared about. Still, I didn¡¯t want him to die, at least not in front of me. * * * Late in the evening, Acacia came into my room. I woke up in a dreamy state and faced the guest brought by Acacia. It felt like a dream. Rewan, who looked a lot more haggard than expected, was standing there. My heart was pounding as I ran anxiously. I shook my head. This wasn¡¯t it. This¡­this was not right. My hands were trembling. An anxious, pounding heart pointed to a clear emotion. ¡°¡­Why.¡± I bit my mouth, trying to say something. I couldn¡¯t think of anything to say at all. I watched him weeping silently. Was it this bad in the original story¡­? The sound of Acacia leaving the room without a word was heard. I had to say something, so I barely spit out some words. ¡°¡­Why are you so hurt?¡± ¡°¡­I¡ª¡± Rewan was crying. He stopped sobbing and tried to speak over and over again, but instead of talking, he raised his head, swallowed the tears, and continued. It was hard to see. My heart was pounding anxiously. If I was going to feel this way¡­ I¡¯d rather not see it. My heart was troubled. It was painful. ¡°¡­was¡­ worr¡­ied.¡± He was more messed up than expected, so I embraced him with trembling hands. Ironically, I thought I wanted to comfort him. At the same time, it reminded me of the me who thought love was funny just a while ago. I was silent for a while. I was the one who thought he shouldn¡¯t die in front of me, at least. I¡¯d never been loved or loved, so I didn¡¯t really know what this feeling was like. I thought it was easy¡­ It made me feel like I was about to die just looking at him being depressed. I didn¡¯t know that love could give you this kind of feeling. I just thought it was a happy and good feeling. My heart dropped to the floor at Rewan¡¯s bruised face. Seeing him who couldn¡¯t even cry properly makes me feel¡­ Feel weird. He was sick while I was having fun and cared for nothing. A deep sense of guilt that had been set aside rose. I didn¡¯t like this self-critical melancholy feeling. I desperately recited excuses to myself. My head said that it was going to happen. I shook my head. It wasn¡¯t my fault¡­ It was destined to be like this, anyway. I put him on the bed, only weeping to comfort him while feeling like I had to do something. I stroked his broad back, then grabbed his hand and rubbed it gently. I gazed at Rewan¡¯s face, which was soaked in pain. ¡°¡­I¡¯m okay.¡± Rewan¡¯s tears stopped. His irregular breathing changed to regular. It was as if he had never heard the words. He looked very shocked, yet he smiled briefly and stared at me. ¡°¡­You¡¯re not okay.¡± It was the first time he spoke so casually. Not even in Arne¡¯s memory. Even after getting to know Rewan and being betrothed to him, he never spoke so casually. I couldn¡¯t hide my surprise. Even at the moment he died in the original story, Rewan never spoke casually with Arne. It was the first time. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t.¡± ¡­What don¡¯t? He got up from the bed after saying something incomprehensible. My eyes followed him. Rewan grabbed my shoulder and pushed me onto the bed with great force before climbing over my body and placing a hand around my neck. ¡°¡­I¡¯d rather have this.¡± He let out a low sigh. The next moment, he grabbed my neck and put strength in his hands. I opened my eyes wide at Rewan¡¯s unexpected behavior and looked up at him. Chapter 31 Chapter 31 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (2) ¡°¡­.!¡± Rewan looked already insane. His eyes were empty, and he gave me goosebumps. He stared at me with empty eyes, and I couldn¡¯t find any emotion. Seeing that, I couldn¡¯t stand his gaze, so I closed my eyes. It was not my fault that he did this. Despite the feeling of getting out of breath, I was instinctively busy taking care of my selfishness. I thought of death as my breath got tighter and tighter before taking a deep breath. In an instant, I was intoxicated with passionate emotions and forgot what kind of person I was. I could feel the emotions that had risen start to cool off and reason return. The original was twisted, and the character changed. Even if the story changed and people changed, I was a person who would never change. Just like Rewan¡¯s pure love for Arne was catastrophic, I couldn¡¯t love him passionately, devotedly, and consistently. I was a person who would not change with that thin feeling of love. I¡­ It might be normal for him to kill me. I stole the body from Arne, whom he loved, and deceived him by pretending to be her. Nonetheless, I had no idea that it would end so suddenly. Was it the result of selfishness that was always rushed to be taken care of¡­? I smiled bitterly inside. I relaxed my body and waited for death. This might be the right ending. Wasn¡¯t it strange to enjoy the suffering of others and enjoyed the happiness that came from it¡­? To take away the love of others and to feel love¡­ It might be funny. Besides, I thought that it was Rewan¡¯s fate to die while rescuing Arne here. I tried to pretend I was unaware of his death. I remembered the past me who brought Rewan all the way here. I shouldn¡¯t have brought him here in the first place. I didn¡¯t know I would have any special feelings for him. I was just curious about the unchanging love he gives to Arne, out of curiosity. Because of that, it made me miserable. I thought about the death I was going to face. It was good to enjoy other people¡¯s pain¡­ You get killed by the person you fell in love with for the first time. However, as expected, nothing happened. The pain in my neck disappeared, and I thought I was dead for a moment. I took a deep breath and glanced at him. I was caught in his hazy eyes. When his reason returned, he wept like an animal. ¡°Uuuhh¡­ huhuuh¡­¡± Rewan let out a heavy sigh and cried for a long time. I ruffled his hair silently and stroked his back. As if he had calmed down to some extent, he leaned into my arms and took a deep breath. His breath on my shoulder was exciting. Even in this situation, the excitement that was blooming gave me a sense of ridicule again. As expected, look. Just a little while ago, guilt was corroding my brain, though my body was steadily feeling excited even in this situation right now. ¡­I am such a person. I was the one who did not suit love. When I felt Acacia or Rewan¡¯s pure concern for me, I felt as if I could now understand why I felt a certain sense of lethargy. I was a worthless person. Worthless of receiving one¡¯s kindness, love, or worries. I was genuinely worried about the situation I was in, and even if I worried about it, it meant nothing to me. It was because I really enjoyed and wanted this situation. I had no intention of changing. The sense of disparity they give¡­ It made me mistaken for a moment. I was loved and deserved to be worried. ¡°Don¡¯t cry.¡± ¡°Sorry¡­ sorry.¡± ¡°Leave this place.¡± Falling into despair, I spoke as bluntly as possible, excluding personal feelings. My hands were shaking the whole time I spoke. In the end, all these tragedies were the result of my selfishness. This was also my fault. ¡°Come back with more power.¡± He gazed at me with eyes full of despair. ¡°Ho¡­ how can¡­¡± ¡°This is an order.¡± ¡°¡­Please, please. Please, take the order back¡­ I, I, was, wrong¡­ wrong.¡± Rewan hurriedly lowered his body and grabbed my ankle. He wept at my feet, asking me to revoke the order. I couldn¡¯t figure out what the hell he did wrong as I looked at him begging blankly. It was me, me¡­ Having made him like this, I had nothing more to say to him. [ Rewan was locked up in another place with Arne. He hardly ate any food from the Imperial Palace. He ate only enough to survive. For example, a slice of bread or a spoonful of soup. There was only a single spot where the light came through. There was nothing inconvenient about it other than that ¡ª A place to sleep, a place to rest, and a place to eat were separated. ¡°Then, you will die soon.¡± Acacia looked up at Rewan, who was getting thinner. He brought him soup and soft bread. There was silence in the space for a moment. Then, he handed the soup to Rewan. He was silently looking at the soup Acacia gave him. ¡°Even if you don¡¯t want to live, why don¡¯t you think of your Master and try to live first?¡± Acacia spoke calmly. Rewan smirked inside. They were the ones who put them here for doing nothing. With a sharp tone, he shot back at him. ¡°Don¡¯t you think this is what you brought upon?¡± Acacia ate a spoonful of soup without saying a word as if nothing happened. After that, he handed the soup back to Rewan. When Rewan slashed what he was given, the bowl fell to the floor and shattered. Acacia sighed and picked up the broken pieces. ¡°Do you know how your King is treated?¡± Acacia admired her for not having lost her faith. Even though he wanted to help her, there was a limit. He could save her from the danger right before her eyes, although he can¡¯t get her out of the place. Still, he wanted to help Arne as much as he could. She needed to get out of this place and rebuild her country. He wanted to see her become the King of the country¡­ And, if only Arne was willing, he wanted to protect her, who would rule the country. He boldly told Rewanwhat had happened with Arne. Even if it was Distria¡¯s ploy, it was an accident that was ultimately caused by his own negligence, and he was miserable throughout his words. He was guilty of Arne and felt sorry. Listening to Acacia¡¯s words, Rewan¡¯s face gradually turned white. ¡°¡­I¡¯d rather die.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Rewan sneered himself. He was a knight who served and guarded his master. With this indescribable despair, he spoke words that he should not have dared to say as a knight. He talked about the death of his master. He was frustrated that there was nothing he could do¡­ He wanted to cry. Rewan bit his lip. The time he had survived barely eating anything was shattered by arguing with them on his own accord. It was not a productive time at all. If it really was for her, he had to do something. He looked at Rewan, who was in despair and moved on. Although he was in a dire situation, Acacia felt envious of him¡­ That he was serving a good master. As a knight, Acacia was very envious. ] I ignored Rewan¡¯s desperate gaze and his tears. This brief moment of clearing my mind, which had just awakened, pretended not to know and took my breath away more than the time Rewan strangled me. That night, I pretended not to know him until the very end while he was begging at my feet. I pretended not to know him, who was asking me to let him breathe in the same room. I pretended not to know him who was sorry because he wasn¡¯t helpful and asked to check my safety at least from afar from time to time¡­ I summoned Acacia and forced Rewan to get into the carriage. He pretended not to notice the bright red marks on my neck and said something else. ¡°I think he¡¯s a very valuable person.¡± The words, which Acacia spoke softly to me, shook my heart. Even then, when he asked if Rewan was precious, I couldn¡¯t say anything, neither affirmative nor negative. Even though I was heartbroken right now, I knew that it wouldn¡¯t last long. I knew I would soon forget Rewan¡­ I was such a person. Small pleasures were better than true love. I let out a laughter of scorn. ¡°¡­No. In that case, I wouldn¡¯t have sent him away.¡± ¡°Is that so¡­¡± Acacia, who had finished preparing for work, looked at me. He gently pressed his lips to my red eyes, which had been crying all night long. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to come home because I¡¯m busy tonight.¡± ¡°¡­Yes.¡± Uttering something strange, he ran out of the room. * * * As he said he would not return that night, he returned home early in the morning. I woke up to the sound of the horseshoe and glanced out of the window. It was a twilight dawn. I watched him get off his horse and enter the mansion. Acacia¡¯s footsteps were heard in front of the door. Just as it had become a habit for him to come home and come to my room, it had been a long time since I had gotten used to the sound of his footsteps coming here. Unlike usual, he came in without knocking and faced me with a surprised face. For a moment, he blinked for a moment and gazed at me with a look of vain. He wiped his face for a moment and looked at me. ¡°Why¡­¡± There was a strong smell of alcohol coming from him. Acacia frowned once and approached me. His warm hand touched my shoulder. He frowned once more as he grabbed my shoulder with a strong force. As Acacia¡¯s hand was getting stronger, my shoulder ached and I let out a low moan. ¡°¡­Ugh.¡± ¡°¡­Why? Why¡­ Didn¡¯t you go?¡± Acacia¡¯s low voice echoed in my ears. His words, which I couldn¡¯t understand, filled me with wonder. I hid my curiosity and glanced at him with an expressionless face. His pure white face was red from drunkenness or anger. ¡°How did I feel when I sent you away? You¡­ you¡­¡± Acacia, who was spitting confusion over confusion, met my lips. All of a sudden, he grabbed my shoulder tightly for a moment as I was bewildered by the unusually hasty kiss. The strong smell of alcohol permeated my mouth. He then pushed me onto the bed and greedily ran through my mouth. After coveting my mouth for a while, he stared at me, calming his heavy breathing. ¡°¡­Did you still think you were a king just because I treated you like a king?¡± I thought I was going to be eaten by his ferocious, sharp-edged eyes. Acacia ripped off my clothes and started to touch my body, unlike the soft past. His calloused hands reached my chest and touched my thighs. He pushed himself into my mouth without even having time to breathe. I couldn¡¯t figure out why he was angry. The next moment, Acacia stood up, bit my n*pples, and sucked my breasts into his mouth. Unlike the day when he gently cared for me and held me, he put his flesh under me, who was still not wet, and rushed to satisfy his desire. He held one hand on my shoulder, holding my body that was shaking against my will. It was painful. There was a dull sound that didn¡¯t even sound like s*x. ¡°Huuh¡­!¡± ¡°You¡¯re just a tool to satisfy others¡¯ desires at any time.¡± It was painful for a while, but a feeling of excitement rose. As I bit my lip and looked at him, I could see him gazing at me with a somewhat distressed expression. I turned my head. Meanwhile, Acacia¡¯s hair, which was always tied up, was messed up and fluttered around my chest. I had no idea what had made him so confused or impatient. Then, I suddenly remembered what Acacia had said this morning. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to come home because I¡¯m busy tonight.¡± Ah, only now did I know that Acacia had given me room to escape. ¡­How stupid. Chapter 32 Chapter 32 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (3) Acacia seemed to be telling me to leave this place with actions and words that he didn¡¯t mean. His embarrassed expression and guilty face seemed to say that to me. ¡°¡­If I leave, you will.¡± His sharp eyes were subtly blurred. Meanwhile, his movement, which had been running wild under me, stopped. As he gazed at me with eyes full of resentment, Acacia sighed. ¡°¡­Ha.¡± Pulling out, he bowed his head. His voice trembled as he spoke. In the aftermath of the rough s*x that started unprepared, pink blood from my body splattered on the sheet. ¡°Why. Are you¡­ worried about¡­me?¡± He stared at me for a long time without saying a word, then saw the bloodstained sheet and lowered his head. Acacia was silent for a moment before he wrapped his wandering hand around my waist and held me. He rested his head on my shoulder and whispered to me as if he was guilty. ¡°The one who ruined your country¡­ The one who destroyed it¡­ It is me.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°How can I not worry about you?¡± Acacia¡¯s acted like a sinner to me. His breath, which had been roughed by alcohol, grazed my neck. I felt excited again as I felt like a beast. Getting excited even in this kind of situation where someone genuinely cared for me¡­ Even animals wouldn¡¯t be excited like me. How could he love someone like this? It was a negative thought that I would not normally do. Seeing Rewan, who genuinely cared about me, I got a feeling I didn¡¯t want to because I felt guilty. It was because he was more special than I thought. ¡°I don¡¯t want to pass on the things I have to endure.¡± I hid my insides covered with lust and spat out the words from my mouth. I uttered something that didn¡¯t suit my selfish me ¡ª free from worry. For me, who didn¡¯t value him much, I said something to ease his mind¡­ I was such a person. Familiar with a relationship of desire and lust, to covet and be coveted. Familiar with false relationships; positive emotions, such as true love, do not fit in. What worked for me was this. For a moment, I cleared up my regrets for letting him go. ¡°I will kill him with my own power.¡± I spat out something I didn¡¯t want, saying things I wouldn¡¯t do ¡ª a future that would never happen. ¡°But¡­ Why are you worried about me?¡± Among all the words covered with pretense, that was the only one truth. ¡°¡­.¡± Acacia did not respond to that truth. * * * He hadn¡¯t come to my room since the next day. After a long, boring life, the day came to return to the long-awaited Imperial Palace. Then, suddenly, Acacia came. Three days¡­ I didn¡¯t see him for that long though he greeted me with a neat appearance, without any disarray of that time. ¡°I have something to say.¡± I nodded my head in permission. He stopped breathing for a moment and lowered himself abruptly before pressing his lips to my foot. ¡°¡­I will be your knight for you.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Before becoming Arne, her memories came to my mind ¡ª like my own memory. The act of putting the lips on my foot. It was an oath that Rewan, who was engaged to her, made to Arne in public¡­ The pact of Sorano Kingdom¡¯s master-and-vassal relationship. Lower their body under the desired master and place their lips on the top of the master¡¯s feet. It was such a sacred oath that it could not be broken even if death came before them. I didn¡¯t know why he was doing this to me. ¡­To just call it sympathy. ¡°I don¡¯t have a master-and-vassal relationship with someone whom I don¡¯t know their heart.¡± It was too much. Nevertheless, Acacia kept his body low and listened to me silently without straightening his body. I was lost, not knowing what he felt for me. ¡°¡­Moreover, with the knight of the enemy country.¡± I passed by Acacia, who was still lowering himself. I walked down the hallway and went down the stairs to get on the waiting carriage of the Imperial Palace without an escort. I just hoped that he wouldn¡¯t come into my story anymore so that the story could end. Even if it was the original story that had already been distorted and the end was unknown, I did not want to cause any more changes. This was not the ending I was hoping for. I didn¡¯t want to run into such a catastrophe and ruin the ending of the original story. ¡®Ah¡­ I just hope the original ending will end soon.¡¯ I groped through my vague memories and thought of events to come. ¡­Did it make sense now? Now that it was already gone haywire like this, was there an end like the original story? I struggled to suppress the anxiety that was rising from the side of my heart. To what extent was it a story, and to what extent was it a reality¡­? Now, I could feel a sense of reality that I had never felt before. Arne¡¯s memories and my previous life¡¯s memories were mixed. ¡®¡­Who am I?¡¯ I was confused as to who I was. Whether this was a story or not. I was lost in the context of the story and the actions of the characters that had changed so much. The love I felt for Rewan also added to the confusion. It wasn¡¯t in the book I knew. They weren¡¯t the people I knew. I wasn¡¯t¡­ the me I knew either. Shaking my head, I gathered my mind at the Imperial Palace that I could see. Ignoring personal feelings. The reason I came here is for happy s*x life¡­ That was it. Nothing else was needed at all, whether it was love or loyalty¡­ No such things. I never expected to be treated like a human. It was my own utopia that I entered after checking how it ended and how Arne was treated. ¡­Why was it that the days ahead feel so gloomy even though I pulled myself together like this? * * * After a day in the Imperial Palace, Distria found me. As a maid to attend his night, I was washed all day by the handmaids. After putting a red cloth around my eyes, I was laid down on his bed. The leash was tied somewhere, and I could not go beyond a certain distance. My eyes were covered, and my sensitive ears caught on. No matter where he went, I could hear Distria¡¯s movement, which brought in the cold wind. The sound of closing the door. The sound of him taking off his clothes. The sound of him washing in the bathroom attached to the room¡­ ¡°Is he okay?¡± His languid voice was heard. ¡°I think it must be different, having s*x with me and refusing to see Rewan while doing that.¡± It was a voice full of ridicule. His languid voice sounded like it was tight somewhere. When I opened my lips, my mouth was suddenly blocked by something ¡ª something soft touched my lips. The scent of wine filled my mouth. Once, twice. He forced me to open my lips, not close them with his hands, then handed me the wine again. As Distria¡¯s pouring hand was repeated several times, the alcohol effect began to rise, like water on cotton. Was the wine strong, or was Arne weak¡­? My limp body tied up, I swung my immobile arms, struggling to push him away. I didn¡¯t even know if I moved properly. ¡°I¡¯m not in a good mood right now, you better do what you¡¯re told.¡± ¡°Huht¡­ No¡ª¡± Distra covered my mouth with his lips. He bit my lower lip with his teeth and slowly tucked in his tongue before ruffling my hair with a gentle hand and pulling off my clothes. When my bare skin was exposed to the cold air, I got goosebumps. The growing heat and excitement shattered the thoughts and worries I had been thinking about before. I said to myself that I had an inappropriate thought, which would soon disappear. Exhaling an exhilarating breath, I liked the brief heat and the pleasure that accompanies it. It was a story that I started because I liked it. I couldn¡¯t shake it while I focused on the pleasures Distria gave. Anxiety sank into the depths of the abyss. ¡°Ha.¡± His lips pressed firmly against the n*pples. Distra gently stroked my back and laid me on the bed. Because my eyes were covered with a cloth, I felt regretful that only the red color was visible. I could feel his strong and ecstatic abs fluttering behind the eye covering. At that, I wished he would release the red cloth around my eyes. The next moment, he grabbed my legs, spread them apart, and buried his face in the entrance. He teased the cl*toris with one hand and stuck his tongue out. I welcomed the gentle caress from the wet tongue that was not like Distria. ¡°Huhk¡­ Hu-ung¡­!¡± With the other hand, he rubbed my hips and stroked my waist. The lips that had been caressing the bottom again came up to my chest and the stomach. His cold hand caressed my cheek, and his fingers touched the red covering. ¡®Come on, hurry! Now! Let me go¡­!¡¯ I turned my head away, leaving the sorrowful heart behind. As he lightly pulled on the eye covering, Distria¡¯s body slowly caught my eye in the darkened space. I continued to blink to restore the flickering vision. ¡°Are you seducing me?¡± ¡°No way¡­ Kugh!¡± Pulling on the leash as if to not let me speak, the sound of his exhaled breath reached my ears. Then, he began to caress my moist inside with his fingers, licking my sensitive ears. Distria whispered while holding my legs, which were clenched like a habit even without being conscious of it, and bit my earlobe. ¡°Open your legs.¡± I took a deep breath and stared at him. Seeing me not moving, he frowned. Distria tucked his thighs between my legs and forced them apart. Contrary to my wish for him to put it in quickly, he put his p*nis to the entrance and only wiggled it. Even though it felt like I was burning, there was nothing I could do so I just bit my lip. I was afraid I would moan when he inserted it. Where did the thoughts I had before go¡­? My body, looking forward to the next action, heated up. ¡°Uh, uhng!¡± ¡°Ku-uhk¡­¡± He let out a low moan as he shoved himself all the way down to the root at once. ¡®Ah, f*ck¡­ So damn sexy.¡¯ With a frown on his forehead, Distria pressed his waist with force and swept my head with one hand. He moved slowly back and forth for a moment, then gradually increased his speed. Haa. As I let out a hot breath, he lowered his eyes and exhaled a breath before his expression was so lustful that it was a waste that only I get to see it alone. Feeling like I was floating, I felt twice as good as usual because I drank alcohol. In addition, it was nice to forget the dark, gloomy thoughts. Every time he moved, a rustling sound could be heard, like the leash showing its presence. He rubbed my white chest with both hands, which swayed as he moved. It changed shape to and fro in his large palm. Sometimes, he would pull it up. ¡°Pretty.¡± He said strange words that I couldn¡¯t tell if he was sincere or not and gazed at me with loving eyes. ¡®Weird¡­ It feels weird.¡¯ Was it because of alcohol that I was looking at it wrong¡­? Did Distria become strange? I shut my eyes and turned my head to deny him. Although I did something offensive, he didn¡¯t get angry or hit me. Consequently, I had spent a week at Acacia¡¯s mansion without saying a word in the first place. However, he was not angry when he should be in an angry situation. That had increased the anxiety in my heart. ¡­The soft glance, the gentle touch ¡ª His kindness was unfamiliar. My heart was in an uproar, and my anxiety gradually increased in size. Seeing his friendly face made me realize that the end was still a long way. Chapter 33 Chapter 33 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (4) When I opened my eyes, my head hurt because of the hangover. In my previous life, I was not good at drinking alcohol, but I did not have a hangover. A hazy mind and a throbbing head. My stomach churning was awkward. It was the kind of pain I had never experienced. My back, which had been overworked, throbbed. I fumbled around with my hands in a burning thirst. ¡°Hu¡­¡± ¡°Are you awake?¡± As I shifted my gaze towards the sound, I could see Lepis looking at me in a neat outfit. He glanced at me with indifferent eyes before letting out a low sigh. He slowly walked over to me and took off his coat, and wrapped it around me. ¡°¡­Water.¡± A cracked voice leaked out. In pain, I lowered myself and took a deep breath. While Lepis held out a mug to me, I took it and drank it. Leaning my exhausted body on the back of the bed, I calmed my jittery vision. Lepis¡­ It was a face I hadn¡¯t seen in a long time. I asked him shyly. ¡°I heard that something big happened.¡± ¡°¡­Something big, isn¡¯t everyday life something big?¡± He bit his lip. An unknown, first-of-a-kind emotion entered the purple eyes. He was silent and let out a soft sigh. ¡°Rewan is gone.¡± ¡°Is it.¡± An unfamiliar, subtle emotion arose. Even though I told him to go, I was sad that he went¡­ Yet it was reassuring. It was funny to have a ¡®sad¡¯ feeling in the first place. Contrary to usual, my expressionless face was not well built. I just hid my emotions and continued talking. ¡°¡­That¡¯s good to hear.¡± Lepis¡¯ unknown gaze met mine again. ¡°Is that all?¡± ¡°You made a mistake in your servant¡¯s education.¡± I smiled and glanced at him. Lepis looked at me like he was looking at a strange person. For a moment, silence filled the room. I wanted to get him out of the room quickly. ¡®¡­Oh. This is Distria¡¯s bedroom, so I have to be the one to get out.¡¯ ¡°Is that all there is to it?¡± Lepis pulled the cord and called the handmaids. He ordered my bath and gazed at me for a long time. His eyes flashed with lust for an instant before he closed his eyes and sighed. ¡°¡­I heard that you met him in Acacia¡¯s mansion.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± I was silent for a while. The Emperor knew that I had met Rewan. However, he did not show any negative reaction. I remembered the man who I had been ignoring in the mansion, kneeling at my feet. ¡°¡­What happened to Acacia?¡± Lepis nodded his head. I hurriedly got up, and the cloak that Lepis had covered on me fell off. Acacia was vaguely aware of the disadvantage he would receive in return for allowing me to meet Rewan. I thought it didn¡¯t matter. Nevertheless, the development was different from the original story, and it caused another incident. I didn¡¯t want to cause a strange wave. It may be a meaningless effort, but to me, who was shaking everything, it was some kind of lifeline to follow the original story¡­ that there was a desired ending. I didn¡¯t want them to have any special feelings for me. I felt guilty ¡ª wearing Arne¡¯s shell, playing her, getting the comforting that I shouldn¡¯t deserve to get ¡ª I came here to have fun¡­ Don¡¯t sympathize with me. ¡­Sympathize with her, who hated this place that she ran away from. I felt guilty. I didn¡¯t want to add that sin. I was having fun, why did you guys take the pain? Lepis picked up the fallen robe and put it on my shoulder. The handmaids came in as soon as the bath water was ready. He glanced at me. ¡°Are you worried about him?¡± My head hurts. I didn¡¯t have any special feelings for him, it was just my utter selfishness. ¡°If so?¡± Contrary to my heart, I spat out different words, feeling sick. Lepis gestured to the handmaids. Seeing them get out of the room, he said to me. ¡°I will help.¡± He said bluntly. ¡°I will take you to him.¡± ¡°¡­What do you want?¡± Lepis let out a low sigh. He looked at me with sorrowful eyes. His gaze was burdensome, so I turned away. ¡°¡­Nothing.¡± Why¡­? In the first place, he didn¡¯t do anything to her, who really needed his help. Why did he sympathize with me? I don¡¯t need it¡­ Rather, their worries aroused feelings that needed no sympathy. I unwrapped the robe he had covered on me. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± * * * I lost my sense of reality at the horrific scene unfolding before my eyes. My senses were brought up to the awful smell of blood. The knight¡¯s uniform that Acacia was wearing was torn to such an extent that it was difficult to think of his original neat appearance. His arms were tied behind his back and hung from chains on the ceiling. Even criminals were not tortured so horribly. Besides he was the Knights Commander, Distria¡¯s escort¡­ Drip. Drip¡­ Blood dripping from his body pooled on the floor, creating a puddle. ¡°Ha¡­ What is the crime?¡± ¡°¡­It is a sin of having a relationship with a knight of an enemy country.¡± Last night, I realized why Distria wasn¡¯t angry. He already had his anger vented, and I didn¡¯t have to pay. Even at this tragic sight, I felt a sense of relief that he hasn¡¯t changed. The idea that the people here should not change might be ridiculous. ¡­Even I was feeling feelings toward Rewan that Arne did not feel in the beginning. ¡°Is he¡­ is he alright?¡± As I looked at Lepis, he avoided my gaze. It was stuffy. It was hard to breathe. For Heaven¡¯s sake, I couldn¡¯t understand their minds. At first, I only wanted one thing from them. However, I expected and wanted only one thing. Pleasant s*x. Sometimes coercive s*x. Constant pleasure. I did not want this unnecessary sympathy, worry, and compassion¡­ ¡°Why are you doing this to me?¡± ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know either.¡± I knew that what he was saying was the truth. I was enveloped in an even more devastating, unknown feeling. With the key that he had brought, Lepis opened the door to the torture chamber where he was imprisoned. Approaching Acacia, he freed the chains from which he was hanging. Then, Lepis picked up Acacia that fell helplessly. I wiped his body with a towel soaked in water and took off the eye cover covering his eyes. The more I wiped it off, the clearer the wounds were, and the more my saliva flowed. Why am I even doing this¡­? No matter how far they go, I have no intention of escaping from this Imperial Palace. Originally, it was to follow what Arne had experienced. Their actions made me feel as if what I was doing was wrong. A sense of guilt that I did not feel when I opened the gates of the kingdom while ignoring the people of the kingdom who were loyal to Arne. Negative emotions. I was feeling guilty now. ¡­Then, what do I do? It was already over¡­ I can¡¯t turn it back. I have no intention of turning back. ¡°Don¡¯t do this to me.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°This doesn¡¯t change anything.¡± I mumbled something that I didn¡¯t know if it was meant for them or for me. I felt more guilty about their actions, knowing that it wouldn¡¯t change¡­ Knowing that I would never change¡­ ¡°It never changes how I hate you.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Even if you die in front of me, I will rather be happy, not sad.¡± I didn¡¯t even know what expression I was having while muttering these words. * * * Acacia was not dead. Lepis said as if trying to reassure me that the punishment given to him in the first place was enough to not kill him. Acacia came to his senses faster than expected and recovered quickly. In the room where he had guarded until the doorstep was worn out, I did not visit him after he recovered. I thought it would be difficult to make eye contact with him. I thought I would remember him, who was all over the place, covered in blood. ¡­Why was it so twisted? Did it go wrong when I slept with Distria the first time? Or, when I had s*x with Lepis¡­? I didn¡¯t know that small changes, which I was only a little concerned about, would cause such a big impact. In fact, I didn¡¯t know to what extent I could have predicted it. I didn¡¯t want to think deeply, so I just ignored it. I focused only on the pleasure of the moment in front of me. I didn¡¯t know it would go this far. I was stupid. It was my fault. Every night, Distria looked for me. As if to show off that I belonged to him, he put red marks here and there. It reminded me of Acacia who had acted kindly and turned into a half-dead person. I wasn¡¯t scared or creeped out. Rather, it was nice that it was no longer uncomfortable, that he was no longer kind to me. Looking at me in the white slip with indifferent eyes, Distria caressed my ear with a gentle hand. My body warmed up little by little as his hands were full of sexual intentions. ¡°Rewan is gone, did you know?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡­Was he asking because he knew, or was he asking because he didn¡¯t know? Distria¡¯s hand gradually descended. He pulled the peaked n*pples over the slip and teased them. He asked, licking my lips. ¡°Answer.¡± He lightly untied the laces of my panties that I wore under the white slip as he shoved one finger into me before rubbing the moistened inner wall. ¡°¡­No.¡± Distria¡¯s brow furrowed as though it wasn¡¯t the answer he wanted. He stopped licking my breasts with an uneasy expression and pulled his teeth. A sharp pain spread through my chest. Chewing on the tip, he bit the breasts and licked with his tongue while he caressed the other side as well. I gasped for breath under him, with my arms tied up. Licking my lips with his tongue, which had been soaked with saliva, his red eyes were full of playfulness. ¡°I should give you a punishment for telling a lie.¡± ¡®¡­Yes, please. Please, give me a lot. A hundred times, a thousand times, please.¡¯ Distria brought a smooth-looking wood carving. I knew at once that what he had brought was an adult product like a dildo. Even in the original story, there were occasional plays using tools. Of course, it wasn¡¯t as good as the real adult stuff. At least, that wood carving was something like a dildo or an anal flag though there was no vibration or automatic function. Still, my heart was pounding with anticipation. The wood carving was coming towards underneath me. Chapter 34 Chapter 34 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (5) I gazed at Distria with bewildered eyes. He grabbed my legs with great force, spread them apart, and put my love liquid on the wooden piece before putting them right into the anal. ¡°¡­.!¡± A piercing pain came as it cut through the lower part of the body at once. No matter how much love liquid was smeared, it was difficult to accept something similar to his size at once due to the narrow passage. He pulled the wood all the way out and put it back in. Every time that happened, my body automatically swayed from side to side in pain. ¡°Huuu-ugh!¡± Ah. Really, it hurts. The chain dug into my wrist, and it hurt as well. The sound of rustling chains resounded. Panting in pain, I hoped that it would soon turn into pleasure. Distria, who looked down at me, pressed his thumb against the cl*toris, put his hand inside me and started the perpetual motion. ¡°Hng¡­¡± A harsh breath and moan escaped from my mouth as my cl*toris being pressed gave me stimulation. Distria murmured, teasing his hand as if he was laughing at me. ¡°I couldn¡¯t find anything as a king in you. You look like a prostitute.¡± The hand he had put in for a moment was glistening with love liquid. He loosened my bound arms and made me lie down. Losing strength in my body, I gasped in excitement and, without much resistance, easily took the position he wanted. Distria began to piston without pulling out the wood that had been pushed all the way at the back. Every time he moved back and forth, I felt a heavy impact coming from my back, and it felt like I was being stabbed back and forth. A gasp was about to come out, but I gripped the sheet tightly and tried to hold back my moan. ¡°Uht¡­ u-uht¡­¡± The moment he pulled out the wood. It looked like lightning had struck me. I was filled with a sense of climax in an instant, and without realizing it, I let out a moan like a scream. ¡°Hu-ahng¡­! Huk, ha-ang¡­!¡± I bit my lip belatedly. The sound of his laughter could be heard in my ears. Roughly laid me forward and pressed one hand against my chest, Distria pursed his lips and gazed at me. He began to gradually increase the speed of his thrusting. I already came once, so I was sensitive and felt like I was about to climax again. He draped my legs over his shoulders and shoved himself deep. I gasped for breath as his flesh went deep inside me. My legs swayed wildly on his shoulders to match the movement. ¡°Huhk! Ha-ah, aang¡­!¡± ¡°Kuk, ku-ugh!¡± Distria¡¯s movement became urgent in an instant. I felt something bursting inside. He climaxed. Pulling himself out and grabbing my arm, he lifted me up and grabbed my sweat-soaked hair as he shoved my face into his flesh. I could feel the smell of the fishy semen from the tip of my nose, along with the slippery love liquid. ¡°Lick it. cleanly.¡± ¡°¡­No.¡± I lifted myself up with trembling hands. I lifted my head and stared at him, trying to say no again, but he shoved my face down again. He forced his finger in my mouth and made me swallow his pillar. He shoved it all the way to the end of my neck to satisfy his greed. Kuhk, ugh¡ª The blunt thing pierced my throat as if it was touching my esophagus, and tears welled up. Somehow, the negative emotions seemed to disappear as I was forced to have s*x with him without even giving me time to think. * * * ¡°Can I come in?¡± Acacia has arrived. He did not come in but stood in front of my door and waited for my reply. I felt miserable. How was I even doing this¡­? ¡°Come in.¡± Acacia opened the door and entered. His pink hair, which was always neatly tied up, fluttered over his shoulder. I couldn¡¯t recall the terrible sight where I was worried about his changed, slightly unfamiliar appearance. What to say¡­ I looked up at him blankly, not knowing what to say. ¡°I heard you were worried.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Sorry to make you worry.¡± It was not pleasant to hear an apology from a person who was about to die. At first glance, I could see a bandage tied around his wrist. ¡°¡­It was you who almost died.¡± ¡°It may be just once, but I am always in danger of dying.¡± I shut my lips tightly. It was an act to be certain that he would not die. I was confident that Distria would not kill me. He might kill him in the future, but not now. ¡°¡­And, I¡¯m not weak enough to die from that kind of corporal punishment.¡± Acacia knelt at my feet as he did then. The next moment, he kissed my feet and looked up at me. He looked at me and desperately appealed to me. It was guilt, not sympathy. It was guilt, not pity¡­ ¡°Use me.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°So, that I can make atonement for you.¡± Acacia lowered his head. I took a step back and sat down to meet his gaze before stroking the ends of his short hair and stroking his face. I was not the only one struggling with guilt¡­ I felt a sense of unity, but I hid my secret so I was able to play with him without her effort. Even when we had s*x in the first place, there was never a time when I was thinking like myself. ¡°I hate you for making me this way.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s okay to use you and throw you away, I¡¯ll be happy to use you.¡± I spat out words that didn¡¯t make sense to me. Perhaps, it was because of me that Acacia, who originally never had a relationship with Arne, had it here. Perhaps, I was made to play her character¡­ I couldn¡¯t figure it out. I felt confused in a strange place. For a moment, my lips were firmly closed in disbelief. I licked my lips that couldn¡¯t be forced open. ¡°What can you do for me?¡± ¡°Everything you want¡­ I will give it all.¡± As soon as I heard those words, I asked Acacia. Give me Alec¡¯s neck. The orders I gave him contained nothing of my sincerity. * * * It seemed like yesterday that I lost my reality when I saw Acacia¡¯s tragic appearance, but humans were animals that adapt well to their environment. I looked at Alec, who had been smashed and tossed around on the floor. We had sex, but I couldn¡¯t feel anything. Alec sighed heavily and complained of his pain. ¡°Ku-ugh¡­gasp¡­ gasp¡­¡± Why couldn¡¯t I? Resenting myself for a moment for my choice, I then shook my head. I approached Alec, who was slowly dying. The arm that grabbed me and led me, the strong body¡­ They were all mangled and fell to the floor like chunks of meat. ¡°Why?¡± It was a meaningless question. I wasn¡¯t even curious about his answer. It was a formality. I held the small dagger handed by Acacia in my hand. And I never expected to see him like this again. ¡­Arne, Arne¡­ Would demand this. While experimenting with Acacia, my own anger could be alleviated at least a little. She would demand such an act. Still, I tried to satisfy my greed. I was planning to kill today. If I felt lost in reality and felt guilty, I wondered if it would be okay if I lost my sense of reality again. So, I was thinking of killing. I slowly approached Alec, who was lying on the floor. It smelled of blood. Each time Alec was about to lose consciousness, Acacia splashed cold water over his head. He gasped in the cold as his eyes trembled at the pain. It was a brutal sight that I had never seen before. Until recently, such blood and death were only available through the media. I was living a life that was far from direct death ¡ª moreover, murder. However, it wasn¡¯t as bad as I thought. I didn¡¯t mind looking at someone who was already dying. I held the dagger. ¡°The sin of touching my body.¡± ¡°Kuwaaahkkk!¡± I cut off Alec¡¯s hand. I could feel the eerie feel of the skin being cut vividly in my hand. I got goosebumps for a while. The fact that you can easily kill a person with a single knife that didn¡¯t require much effort. He let out a long scream. Fainting, his eyes rolled over, I poured cold water on him to wake him up. Alec was sobbing with a beastly sound. As it looked like he was trying to move his broken leg to get out of here, it was even more difficult to see. I cut off his head at once. It felt like cutting meat. Not knowing that he was dead, my body, which had been moving for a while, was limp. ¡­I committed murder. For an unexpected reason, for wanting to lose reality. I killed a person. But, nothing happened. ¡­Was this my original personality? Was it Arne¡¯s personality? No matter how much I remember, Arne had never killed anyone. Why couldn¡¯t I feel anything in this series of processes? Was it her feelings, not mine, that make Rewan special? I thought of a family I had never thought of before. Acacia¡¯s eyes met mine. Turning my head, I looked at him. ¡°¡­I want to do this.¡± ¡°¡­Is that so.¡± ¡°Yes, very.¡± I threw the knife on the floor. Blood splattered with the sound of a clatter and I stared at the edge of my skirt, already soaked in blood. ¡°¡­.¡± I didn¡¯t think I had lost my sense of reality. I felt dirty, as it seemed that the humanity I had had had disappeared. I was enjoying the pain of others in the first place, though did I have humanity¡­? Before entering the room, I stopped by Acacia¡¯s residence in the Imperial Palace. It was a dull room with nothing but a place to put a sword and a bed. I took off my blood-soaked dress and went into the bathroom. It would have been better if I didn¡¯t know that this place was a novel. Why put the characters into a frame, decide their story, decide their fate, and judge them at will¡­? ¡­In the end, why am I in so much pain? Why do I have to suffer? I mean, I didn¡¯t want you guys to change. I glanced at the hand that killed the man. I remembered the description of the first murder that was described in a movie, a TV show, or a novel ¡ª The hand looked red, the heart was pounding, they sweated and had nightmares. I didn¡¯t expect anything like that, and I didn¡¯t want anything to happen. I just wanted to lose my sense of reality. Rather, I felt strongly that this place was real. Why, of all times, now, did I get a sense of reality that I didn¡¯t feel even with the pleasure of turning my hair white? ¡°Haa.¡± Was it because he was worried that I hadn¡¯t been out for too long? Acacia knocked on the bathroom door. ¡°Come in.¡± He had a worried expression. My breath choked. I was the one who did the killing, but why was he worried about me¡­? I wanted to stop receiving unnecessary sympathy. I felt like I was going to have a mental illness. Chapter 35 Chapter 35 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (6) ¡°Don¡¯t look at me with those eyes.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Is my life pitiful? Are you feeling sorry for me?¡± I spat out words that I did not know whether it was my feelings or Arne¡¯s. It was a feeling that I was feeling quite vividly. Perhaps, it was the emotion I felt to imitate Arne¡­ Still, I couldn¡¯t figure it out. I didn¡¯t want to think anymore. ¡­I didn¡¯t want to think of her anymore. ¡°No. That¡¯s not true.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± I covered my ears and closed my eyes. I hated seeing that sympathetic expression on his face. I hated him looking at me with pure sympathy. You are the same person as me¡­ Acacia gently wrapped his arms around my wrists and pulled me in. I was drawn to his mighty power and fell into his arms. As he kissed my wet hair as if to comfort me, who was frowning in surprise, he whispered to me that he was sorry for being pushy. ¡°I don¡¯t pity you.¡± His gentle and friendly voice pierced my ears. I was captured in Acacia¡¯s eyes. I was relieved to see that there was no concern or sympathy in his eyes. ¡°I respect you.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Respect. It was a word that didn¡¯t suit me. I lowered my head. I pretended to be her, wanting to experience the pain that Arne went through. I felt guilty the more the original story deviates. It stemmed from the fact that her fate, which I presumed was a fixed thing, was originally undetermined and ever-changing. Still, I hated this situation where I couldn¡¯t be me. I was terribly selfish. * * * I got a cold. I got very sick because I had been in the cold water for a long time. Because I was in pain, I felt useless. When was that¡­? The one day when I sympathized with Arne. I was the only one who knew her lost time. At that time, I did not know that I could feel such profoundly negative emotions, and I must have thought about it with pride as if I was the one who knew her lost time. At that time, I didn¡¯t know that I was the only one who knew the time that had passed. And, I didn¡¯t belong anywhere. I didn¡¯t know it was so lonely that no one recognized me¡­ I wanted only a moment¡¯s pleasure. I ignored that this was a world in itself, too. I was in a hurry to follow the original story. I treated them as people I knew. I thought this was a flat world in a book, not reality. From the time the original story was changed, this place was no longer in a book. It wasn¡¯t my problem for them to covet me and force me to get drunk. Rather, it was a great wish for me for them to focus only on such activities. ¡­A brief moment of pleasure, then a time to sleep. Although I couldn¡¯t think of anything, I liked that time without reason. I exhaled hot breaths under the heat. Distria, who pushed the door without knocking, was standing in front of the bed. He placed his hand on my hot forehead and looked down at me with cold eyes. His cold hand felt good, and I felt his touch quietly. I wished this confusion would end here. I closed my eyes. I was the kind of person who didn¡¯t like thinking. However, he kept making me think. ¡°You are too weak even if you are weak.¡± Distria clicked his tongue. He filled my blurry vision, and I impulsively pulled the collar of his wrist. Maybe, because of the heat, it was a day I just wanted to act on my own. While he touched my cheek with a soft hand, he lowered his gaze and looked at me with friendly eyes. Him. With friendly eyes. ¡°¡­Rewan.¡± I said the name that shouldn¡¯t be taken out. I took a deep breath at the name that popped out without me knowing and I bit my lip reflexively. Rewan came to mind, but I wasn¡¯t trying to say his name. Silence lingered in the chilly room. As Distria¡¯s laughter was heard, a red warning light came on me. He forced me to get up as I had been lying down. He kissed my lips as if swallowing them harshly. It felt like being swallowed by an animal. My breathing was hard, so I tapped his chest. Nevertheless, he didn¡¯t mind my rebellion. He was only coveting me. ¡°Ho-huk¡­!¡± His firm flesh pierced through me without warning. I grabbed the sheet and gazed up at him. Every time he moved, a flash of light flashed through my head. The brief pleasures rushed in a flurry, making me think of nothing. What I was so desperately looking for. ¡°Who is the person next to you? Try to engrave this carefully.¡± ¡°No¡­¡± ¡°Shut up.¡± Distria covered my mouth with one hand. Every time he moved, the inside was swept away. It was a strange feeling that I never got used to. Every time he drove it deep inside, he left a tooth mark on my shoulder. All over my chest, arms and fingers. It was the eyes of a ferocious beast. I gasped for breath through my blocked mouth. My head was dizzy from the heat. ¡°Huht¡­ Stop.¡± ¡°When you¡¯re already wet inside?¡± Distria laughed lowly. Licking my finger once, he grinned savagely. ¡°You can¡¯t get out of here.¡± My protests were clouded and deafened. I couldn¡¯t hear what he was saying as he speeded up his words. Just like his words that I was wet, only the splashing sound pierced my ears. He gently stroked my back and looked at me with a loving gaze. Did he feel my haziness¡­? He stopped moving, and his expression hardened. Distria stroked my cheek with a face full of displeasure before moving his body backwards as he was pulling himself out. ¡°¡­I¡¯m going to have to get that bastard.¡± Reflexively when he mentioned that he would bring Rewan, I grabbed his collar. I was supposed to pretend I was okay, but I didn¡¯t. I spat out words of supplication. ¡°Huu¡­ please¡­ Don¡¯t do that.¡± This kind of behavior didn¡¯t suit Arne. Contrary to what I thought, the opposite action emerged instead. ¡®No, don¡¯t do that.¡¯ Tears flowed down my cheeks as if I had lost control. A sigh escaped his mouth. ¡°I¡¯ll make sure to bring him. For my dear Arne.¡± My head was dizzy, and I screamed inside. At the same time, I felt a sense of treachery. I was excited to be able to see Rewan, but I was disappointed. I hoped he would be caught, and I didn¡¯t want to be caught¡­ ¡°I like that look.¡± Distria grabbed my chin. As he et my lips, I closed my eyes. It was such a feeling with no bottom. Did that mean I wanted to run away from Rewan and live here? No. It was never like that. * * * After Distria left, my condition got worse. Thanks to that, Lepis stayed by my side. He was the one who once told me not to bother him. Now, there was no sign of him being bothered at all. He acted affectionately and stayed by my side. He wiped the corners of my eyes that were still in tears. He gave me water from time to time and wiped away the sweat. Even when I fell asleep and woke up, he was still by my side. Lepis acted like a man desperate to do something for me. ¡­Just like someone in love. I flapped my lips, and a cracked voice leaked out. At the same time, my neck burned. I wanted to ask Lepis. ¡®Does he like me?¡¯ ¡°Are you feeling uncomfortable?¡± He, who had been concentrating on the papers, turned his head when he felt my slightest presence. He gazed at me. I couldn¡¯t understand his change. Most of all, Lepis didn¡¯t seem to realize that he liked me. I didn¡¯t want to scrape it and crumble him. ¡°¡­No.¡± A cracked voice leaked out of my mouth. Lepis put down the papers he was looking at and stroked my hair. I smiled softly, thinking foolishly in his affectionate gaze. Two high-ranking officials already had their heads over heels by one woman¡­ This empire would be doomed. ¡°What are you thinking, you look pretty happy.¡± ¡°¡­It doesn¡¯t suit you to be pretty friendly.¡± I casually lied to his question. I was used to telling things that weren¡¯t true without any emotion. Was I a person who was accustomed to lying from the beginning? I don¡¯t know¡­I don¡¯t know. ¡°I¡¯m glad that you seem to be saying that I¡¯m taking care of you properly.¡± Lepis stroked the back of my hand with a soft hand, and then he ate the snack at the side quietly so as not to make a sound. I shut my eyes as I watched him take care of even the smallest things. I fell asleep. I would not remember what happened today. The feelings Lepis had for me were unknown to me ¡ª like a midsummer night¡¯s dream ¡ª I just wanted this day to be a memory that didn¡¯t exist. * * * I heard that the Emperor had released knights to the capital to capture Rewan. My cold had gone down, and I was recovering from weakness. While I was eating hot soup, I dropped the spoon I was holding when I heard the words. The spoon fell on the floor, making a loud noise. ¡°Since when?¡± Lepis humbly leaned his back forward and picked up the spoon. With a handkerchief in his arms, he wiped away the splatter on the floor and handed me another spoon. Losing my appetite, I shook my head and placed the tableware I was holding on the table. ¡°¡­Since when you were sick.¡± My body trembled at those unexpected words. It was predictable that Distria would search for Rewan since the day he found me with a cold. However, I didn¡¯t expect him to be able to release knights so quickly. I was even more afraid because I didn¡¯t know when Rewan escaped from the Imperial Palace. Fear of the unknown. It was one of those things that I hardly felt after coming here. Besides, he was originally supposed to die. The story ended when he died. Even though many things had changed, there was no certainty that he would not die. I hoped that Rewan had run away as far as possible¡­ He shouldn¡¯t have died because of me. It was what I wanted the most, despite all the uncomfortable feelings. Because of me¡­ I wished he hadn¡¯t died because of my selfishness. ¡°Call Acacia.¡± Chapter 36 Chapter 36 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (7) I hurriedly grabbed Lepis¡¯ collar. It was an unconscious reflex action. What was I doing now¡­? My emotions took precedence over reason. Lepis looked at me with strange eyes. I pretended not to notice his gaze. His strange gaze soon turned cold and he opened his mouth. ¡°¡­He said he would help me.¡± I missed the collar I was holding when I saw his face, which I had not seen in a long time. Was it true that he liked me? His gaze was so cold that I thought it was an illusion. I avoided his gaze. Lepis stood in front of me for a while and muttered softly. ¡°¡­You have changed a lot.¡± He turned his body and walked away from me. As I stared blankly as he walked away, a strange, indescribable emotion filled me. ¡°What¡­¡± Behind the spot he left, I muttered blankly. Me losing my control was becoming common. I couldn¡¯t do this¡­ This wouldn¡¯t bode well. I stood anxiously in front of the door. Every second was urgent as a little bit of time felt like a billion eons. Could Rewan have been captured at this moment¡­? Maybe, he was being dragged. I anxiously waited for Acacia. He was in the training ground when he was called to me as he appeared a little disheveled. He faced me as I was pacing through the door. ¡°I heard you called me.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t let them find Rewan.¡± Acacia came into my room and covered me with a thick blanket on the bed. He held the hem of the blanket in my hands and let out a low sigh. ¡°You¡¯ll catch a cold again. You just got better.¡± ¡°¡­I-I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll make sure you don¡¯t have to worry about it.¡± It was an affirmative answer. At the same time as the tension breaking, my consciousness was cut off. It was dark. * * * I stared at two men sleeping in uncomfortable positions in front of me. It was a dark night, the sun had not yet risen. Negative emotions ate me again, and my head was messed up. I¡¯d rather they hold me without thinking about anything. Why did such not very poignant reasons become so confusing? It had been a while since I¡¯d ever been confused. I couldn¡¯t figure it out. ¡­No. It was terribly lonely. I was not me¡­ No one recognized me I was so stupid I thought it was too easy. They weren¡¯t just a part of writing that prayed for Arne¡¯s destruction. They were living beings, thinking and acting. I thought simply ¡ª because I like being hurt, because I want tragedy because I like negative emotions ¡ª It was not such an easy matter to think about. I should have known that it could change. It started with a small sob. It was painful because I couldn¡¯t even cry. I hated people who made me suffer like this. It was terrible. I didn¡¯t want love. I didn¡¯t want to worry. It was a life that was born the wrong way. I was not loved even by my parents, so a little heat and pleasure were good. Short s*x was fine if someone considered me special. What I wanted was warmth and concentration for that brief time. At first, I was satisfied with normal s*x, then it got boring and didn¡¯t give me satisfaction. I raised the level even more. I tried to get hit, and I played with many people, so I lived a life full of pleasure. Someone¡¯s worries were awkward. Someone loving me was awkward¡­ I didn¡¯t know there was someone here who would treat me so kindly. It was awkward because it was the first time I was loved because it was different from the original story. And, it was sad that the love was not for me, but me, who was wearing Arne¡¯s shell. It was the first warm feeling I had ever received in my life. It was me who expected and wanted tragedy and downfall. Yet this¡­ I didn¡¯t want this. A silent cry leaked out of my mouth. I gathered my knees, buried my face, and sobbed. Now, I was me. If I revealed myself, wanting s*x and showing myself pursuing that kind of s*x, would they not worry about me anymore? Maybe, they wouldn¡¯t love me anymore? I didn¡¯t want to be obsessed with it anymore. Even though I didn¡¯t want to be Arne anymore, I did. Why couldn¡¯t I let go of anything because I was so terribly selfish? I wept at the conflicting emotions. I didn¡¯t know what I wanted. ¡®¡­Do I want to be loved? Or, do I want to live a life full of pleasure?¡¯ It was a cry that started as a small sob. They noticed the crying that was like the fountain had burst. Still, they pretended to be asleep. I didn¡¯t want to be here any longer because of these little considerations. Because they loved me, cared for me, and took care of me, I couldn¡¯t accept their consideration. The sun rose up. The morning was always bright. Even so, a lot of emotions were washed away with one cry. I washed my face with cold water. They woke up to the sound of me crying, but they didn¡¯t move, and they didn¡¯t say anything to me despite seeing my swollen eyes. ¡°You can go now. My sickness is okay, and I¡¯m fine.¡± ¡°Then, I¡¯ll be on my way.¡± Acacia nodded and disappeared. Even though he had left, Lepis stood guard. He seemed to have something to say. I gazed at him with an uncomfortable expression. ¡°Do you have anything to say to me?¡± ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know why you care so much about him.¡± Lepis seemed to be mistaken for the reason I cried last night because of Rewan. I met his gaze. ¡°Why do you care about me? What is the reason for the difference between your attitude the first time and the present?¡± Aggressive remarks came out. He was silent for a moment, then opened his mouth. Lepis seemed to be wondering. ¡°Is it¡­ is it the same reason?¡± Rumble. My heart sank. I gazed at him, pretending to be calm. I made an anxious sound, ignoring my beating heart. ¡°I¡­¡± ¡ªThump, thump. ¡°I think I love you.¡± ¡°¡­You can¡¯t.¡± I denied Lepis¡¯ words. However, he didn¡¯t harden a single bit in spite of my refusal. As the distance narrowed, he grabbed a handful of my hair and kissed my lips. ¡°See that I want to give everything without you asking for anything.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°It seems like this is love.¡± For a moment, there was silence in the room. I shook my head and took a step back. He looked at me, widening the distance, but he didn¡¯t move, he just stood there. ¡°If I tell you to die, can you die? I want your death.¡± ¡°Gladly.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I am willing to die.¡± In that absurd situation, I was stunned. He hated me, no Arne. He hated it so much that he wanted to kill me and commissioned to kill me¡­ How could he love me? Lepis knelt before me. Although he was a high-ranking and noble person, he fell on his knees, now in a situation that was inferior to a slave. ¡°From now on, my life is in your hands.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°My life and death are yours. I love you. Arne.¡± [ Lepis didn¡¯t like that Arne was disturbing the imperial discipline. Stories about her were heard everywhere in the imperial court. How her tender skin was, how her breasts were, and how good it felt to shame her¡­ There were stories of this dirty talk. Before that, the stories of the imperial people were economic stories. In the imperial court where intellectual stories such as the situation were the main focus. Occasionally, he heard stories like what the brothels they went to were like, but it did not dissipate so much like this. He didn¡¯t like the water getting so cloudy because talks like that came in. It was not noble. ¡°The discipline of the Imperial Palace is relaxed because of Arne.¡± It was a meeting place only for high-ranking nobles. The Emperor was nowhere to be seen. Lepis talked about his dissatisfaction. ¡°Therefore, is work delayed or is there something big going on? That it was a play in the dreary and uninteresting imperial palace life¡­ Isn¡¯t that right, Count?¡± ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± The shouts and laughter of other nobles filled the conference hall. Lepis sighed at the sight of not being able to find any nobleness among them, even after rubbing his eyes. He frowned at the nobles¡¯ stories that started again. He didn¡¯t like it. Truly, it was a departure from what he thought was the standard of exemplary nobility. It didn¡¯t matter what they were doing in their private space. However, this chaos in the Imperial Palace was unbearable. ¡°Then, you say you¡¯ve never done anything with her before.¡± The Count blurted his words. What he meant was clear. Lepis felt insulted as his unpleasant feelings for Arne grew bigger in size. After the meeting, he went to Distria¡¯s office. He was supposed to report what the talks were in the meeting, but he had nothing to report. What they said for two hours was the firmness of Arne¡¯s body or what kind of expression she made when they put it in. It was the lowliness that he could not dare bring up. Lepis was very meticulous. He wasn¡¯t flexible either. Normally, he wrote down words one by one that would otherwise have been erased by other people ¡ª even who coughed. It was he who arranged them neatly. There was nothing in the meeting, so there was nothing to organize. Distria looked at him with a puzzled expression on the blank report. Lepis took the report and handed him the meeting log as he looked at him silently. As Distria read the report, his expression gradually hardened. He threw down the journal as if it was uncomfortable to read. ¡°Cheeky. Talking like that in the meeting. I have to clean it up.¡± Lepis had no doubts, believing that it was Arne that Distria was going to clean up. However, within a few days, he was at a loss for words when he saw that the nobles who had said vulgar words were being purged in large numbers. ] Chapter 37 Chapter 37 ¨C Confusion and Selfishness (END) [ One night, Lepis went to visit the back alley. It was such a place he wouldn¡¯t even go to originally since it was a space full of garbage, and it reeked. He wrapped himself in a long robe and entered a tavern in the corner. He called the store manager and set a gold coin down on the table. Then, a man dressed in pretty neat clothes appeared and led him to the basement. As they went down quite a few floors, the stench of rotting corpses filled the entire space. He sighed in exasperation. That was why he didn¡¯t want to come to a place like this. ¡°You¡¯re trying to kill a woman.¡± ¡°What kind of woman is it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s Arne. She is a very dirty whore.¡± Lepis thought of her and unknowingly frowned. She was an unpleasant woman. He didn¡¯t like the woman the first time he saw her, but now she spreads her legs to anyone. Everything that stood tall and looked more noble than anyone else, crumbled in an instant. All the unknown emotions. The man tapped his desk with his finger and gave him a troubled look. Just like he knew who Arne was, he did not ask for further information. ¡°The place where she is located is the Imperial Palace, so the security is very strict.¡± ¡°300 gold.¡± A sack of money was placed in front of the man. It was heavy just by looking at it. ¡°I won¡¯t hold you accountable if you fail, but if you succeed, I¡¯ll pay 10 times more.¡± ¡°Just leave it to me.¡± The man laughed meanly. As a result, he failed. Arne looked at the new face that collapsed in front of her eyes. The Emperor himself elected both servants and maids. The face he did not recognize, he savagely killed them. When they entered the Imperial Palace, they had to obtain a permit. It was the person¡¯s fault for ignoring the procedure because it was cumbersome. Distria took the dagger from the dead man¡¯s arms and threw it in front of Arne. ¡°You seem to owe me your life. Someone must hate you very much.¡± Arne, covered in blood, smiled in vain. The smell of fishy blood lingered on the tip of her nose. The blood, which had been hot a while ago, gradually cooled. She was about to scream. She¡¯d rather be the one to die by his sword as she looked at the corpse, which had been cut before her eyes. ] * * * Raphael, who had not been seen for several days, appeared. At the same time, I recalled a story I had missed. Oh¡­ The plot of being taken to another county had disappeared. In regret, Raphael sighed. The plot worked in the story, so I was looking forward to it¡­ ¡°I had to go to another country for a while, so I have been gone¡­ Did you miss me?¡± Yes. Very. It was a pleasure to see him. I missed the s*x that took me out of these crappy, weird thoughts. He put the black leash around my neck and made me lie down before stepping on my back and whispering softly. ¡°I wanted to take you¡­ It just so happened you were not in the palace at the time, unfortunately.¡± The foot that had been on my back gradually descended. He smiled low as he rubbed his toes against the entrance. My body was filled with anticipation of his actions and shedding love liquid. Acacia took me to his mansion, and the story couldn¡¯t progress. I thought that big things would inevitably happen¡­ I knew it was simply my wish. I remembered the deaths of the people of the kingdom who had been ignoring them. It was not inevitable. I made it that way. I killed them. ¡°I brought you something good instead.¡± Raphael pulled my hair. He opened my lips with his fingers and pushed the liquid into my mouth. After feeding about half, he closed the bottle cap and threw it randomly on the floor. I shook my head from side to side to avoid ingesting it. What? Was it a medicine¡­? To be honest, I was curious about what it was and wanted to swallow it quickly, but I pretended to rebel as much as I could. ¡°Swallow.¡± He covered my mouth and nose. I held on to the limit and swallowed it. Tears flowed from the burning heat of my throat. I could feel the warm breath coming out of my mouth as I let out a sigh. ¡°Hu-uht¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s medicine¡­ It worked really well.¡± ¡°¡­Heuk, huht.¡± My body was getting hotter. There was a rising sense of excitement that it was difficult to control my body properly, though my mind was intact. Panting, I glared at Raphael. He pulled the leash. As soon as he gave it strength, I was dragged into his arms. While he forced my legs apart and put his fingers under me, Raphael constantly bit my ear and licked it while pistoning his finger. Whether it was the effect of the medicine or whether Arne shed a lot of water, the liquid wet his pants. ¡°Heup, hu-ugh, huuhkk¡­¡± ¡°Why are you so wet?¡± He grabbed my collar and kissed my lips. Caressing my chest with the other hand and licking the inside of my lips, the finger that had touched my chest went down and pierced the entrance. ¡°¡­.!¡± It was hard to breathe because he held onto the collar and didn¡¯t stop kissing me. His hand puncturing the bottom quickened. I thought I was about to come. A pleasant sensation. My mind wandered, and my vision flickered. ¡°Did you cum?¡± Raphael pulled his lips away and whispered to me. With a satisfied expression, he devoured me again for a long time. When he released his hand from the collar he was holding, I tumbled to the floor. ¡°Your posture is lewd. You must have been very hungry. Do you want me to put it in?¡± He slapped my ass, which was resting on his lap. The sound of Raphael¡¯s unbuckling was heard from below as I spit out water again. He grabbed my waist and lifted it slightly before clasping his p*nis at the entrance. He pushed himself all the way to the end. ¡°Huaahng! No¡­! My heart fluttered at the violent thrusting from the back. Raphael slowly rolled up my clothes from below and placed them in my mouth. From then on, he started moving in earnest. My head kept pounding on the floor because of my unsupported arm. A weak moan escaped my closed mouth. ¡°Huuhh¡ªhuuhh¡­¡± ¡°Damn¡­! As expected, you are the best compared to other girl.¡± He spoke obscenely and placed his lips on my back. ¡ªKnock, knock. Raphael¡¯s pistoning stopped at the knocking on the door. He let out an annoyed sigh and put on his clothes. Seeing his pants soaked with my love liquid, he slapped me on the cheek. ¡°You¡¯re drenched.¡± He hurriedly put on his coat and opened the door. I stared blankly at the door, not knowing what to do with this excitement. I was frankly angry that someone had visited in the middle of the tingling heat all over my body. Then, the red hair I saw through the door caught my attention for a moment, and I pulled the sheet and covered my body. I spat out the clothes I was holding in my mouth. Still, it didn¡¯t hurt that much, either because of something I was biting in my mouth or because of the medicine. Even so, I didn¡¯t feel so excited because I only came once. ¡°The Emperor is calling.¡± ¡°Haa¡­ okay.¡± He passed Lepis in annoyance. Seeing Raphael disappear, Lepis hurriedly ran to me. ¡°Are you okay?¡± It felt like my reason was paralyzed again by his sweet body scent. Excitement flooded my hands as he untied the leash from my neck. I pushed Lepis¡¯ chest away. He didn¡¯t even touch my skin, but my body was warmed by the warmth I felt. I wasn¡¯t okay to only come once. I was okay because Raphael was far away¡­ It seemed to be the kind of medicine that gets you excited when the opposite sex is nearby. ¡°¡­Ha¡­ Go away.¡± Lepis hardened. He glanced at the bottle of medicine lying on the floor and had a strange expression as if he had noticed that I had taken the medicine. He let out a deep sigh. Without hesitation, he opened the bottle cap and drank the remaining content. I gazed up at him, bewildered by his unexpected behavior. Gradually, Lepis¡¯ breathing became rough. He took a deep breath. The way he paused his breath and exhaled as if trying to hold back his heavy breathing was erotic. ¡°It is not your fault.¡± Lepis hesitated for a moment, then took off his pants. He pulled out his strong p*nis and stared at me. Seeing him a little embarrassed at my gaze, I turned his head a little and whispered. ¡°It¡¯s because of the medicine. Do not blame yourself.¡± Clear liquid was flowing from the tip of Lepis¡¯ p*nis. He exhaled excitedly, then quickly picked up his clothes and put them back on. As he exhaled hot breaths and wrinkled his face in pain, he didn¡¯t even seem to have time to breathe. I stared blankly at his steps. Was I worthy of that? My reason, paralyzed by Lepis¡¯ unexpected behavior, did not function properly. I said something I shouldn¡¯t have said. ¡°I¡­I killed people.¡± Nonsense came out ¡°The country is ruined because of my choices.¡± He didn¡¯t say anything and listened to me. ¡°I used to feel offended by anyone. But now, I don¡¯t feel anything.¡± ¡°¡­That.¡± ¡°Now, there is no shame, no thought.¡± ¡°It is not your fault.¡± I spat out words that were half-lie and half-truth. Lepis spoke to me in a guilty voice. He seemed to be reflecting on his actions at first when he forcibly took me. ¡°How do you love me like this?¡± ¡°You are lovely, too.¡± His sweet words made me at a loss for words. It created emotions. It created thinking¡­ People who saw me other than me, people who were likely to turn their backs on me if I told them who I was¡­ He didn¡¯t seem to be like that. Perhaps, he felt like he was going to love anyone. I don¡¯t even have to pretend to be Arne anymore. He seemed to love me that much. ¡°It¡¯s just you, you¡¯re so lovely.¡± However, I couldn¡¯t feel any special feelings towards Lepis, who whispered sweet words. In the end, on that day, I slept with Lepis. I caught him as he was about to leave the room. Even though I couldn¡¯t feel any emotions at his desperate confession, I wanted to solve the excitement in my body right away. I used Lepis¡¯s heart, who couldn¡¯t refuse my words of love. I took advantage of his love. Chapter 38 Chapter 38 ¨C Laria Lepis (1) Lepis¡¯ mother, Astrian Verica, was a child of a noble family. His father, Rostwell, was an ordinary commoner, a merchant. However, Rostwell was recognized for his achievements in the trade and received a Marquis title from an emperor who valued his abilities. Rostwell knew he would not be able to join the noble society, no matter how he received a Marquis title. He was an ambitious man and knew very well that he was smart. He found a decent partner to fill his shortcomings ¡ª A venerable family in need of his own money. The place where he found it was the Astrian family. It was one of the noble founding families and was the only pure-blood family that did not adopt children. Due to the indiscriminate murder of the emperor, most families barely continued the family line through adoption or collateral. Nonetheless, the Astrian family was the only place that escaped the emperor¡¯s murder and did not lose an heir. In addition, the Astrian family secretly nurtured private soldiers and required a large amount of money, so Rostwell was able to provide all the money the Astrian needed. Rostwell made ties to the Astrian. They were initially reluctant to marry a commoner, but they were pleased with the wealth he brought. So, they pushed for marriage. Originally, Verica was trained to be a successor to the family. She was that smart and brilliant, and knew how much this marriage would benefit her family. And, that it was one of the important pieces that would solve the Astian family¡¯s dream. Rostwell, who was originally a commoner, had many low points in Verica¡¯s eyes. However, she did not blame her father. Arranged marriages of nobles for mutual benefit were common. It was such an unfavorable marriage, but Verica earned her family money, and Rostwell lost the lineage and backing he lacked. The two people were promised to be engaged but didn¡¯t see each other often. Even though it was a distant relationship, they said that it was a fateful love that transcended the status between commoners and nobles for their own benefit. They spread rumors full of lies. After the engagement, they acted as if they loved each other deeply. They meet often, and they often appear at public events. It smoothly incorporated Rostwell into the noble society. Rostwell often handed them unimaginable amounts of money. After marriage, they walked away as if their love for each other was a lie. Although they still pretended to be good friends in public, they didn¡¯t even talk well at home. They did not live their life as a couple. They just had a relationship to have a child once a month. It was a relationship without warmth and for purpose only. Still, they didn¡¯t care. They didn¡¯t know what was wrong. The first child was born. Verica was expecting a child from the two brilliant minds. ¡­Lepis. Verica murmured. She decided to choose her child¡¯s name from an ancient language with a good meaning ¡ª One who has light. It was the child who would bring light. She raised Lepis with warmth. And, the day Lepis started his first education, she was disappointed. It wasn¡¯t on the level she expected. In addition, she gave Lepis warmth and nurtured him, which added to her disappointment. As a child, Verica was able to obtain language enough to write letters after she began learning the language within two weeks. She also began studying other liberal arts subjects as she learned the language. Once she was taught manners, she was never pointed out again. Lepis had the same speed of achievement as other ordinary people of his age, though it did not win the heart of the brilliant, Verica. She was lost, and she went to see Rostwell. ¡°I don¡¯t like Lepis because he¡¯s worse than I thought.¡± They spent the night again. It was originally the duty of the nobles to have children and pass them on from generation to generation. Among them, a smart bloodline was Verica¡¯s wish. If the child born by marrying a commoner was not exceptional, the surrounding nobles would ignore the new Marquisate, the Laria family, and criticize the Astrian family for choosing love. It was an important child to prove that she had not made the wrong choice. The expectations were high. Still, he did not live up to that expectation. Not even beasts used their own offspring as a tool to achieve anything. Verica saw her child as a tool. So, she gave birth to a second child. She looked at the child with cold eyes. Unlike her first child, she did not give a name after thinking much of it. Eris. She didn¡¯t even think about the meaning of the name. She just randomly gave a name that came to mind. ¡°Mom. is that my younger sibling? A boy or a girl?¡± Lepis grabbed the hem of Verica¡¯s skirt by her side, and she gazed quietly at Lepis, whose eyes were gleaming. She had cold eyes that didn¡¯t feel like she was looking at her child. Even though she was teaching manners, it felt as if he was acting stupidly because he was mixed with the blood of a lowly commoner. ¡°Yes. He¡¯s Lepis¡¯ younger brother.¡± Verica removed Lepis¡¯ hand, which grabbed the hem of her skirt. As the second child became four years old, Verica was delighted. The child had a brilliant brain that could not even be described as a genius. Verica would beat her children if their achievement rates were slower than she thought or if they behaved wrongly. While Eris¡¯ legs were always clean and untouched, Lepis¡¯ legs were always red¡­ There wasn¡¯t a day when he wasn¡¯t beaten. When Lepis rolled up his pants and lay down on the floor carpet, the servant brought a bucket of cool water and put his legs in it. In the figure of him lying with his legs crossed in the basin, the aspect of nobility could not be seen without rubbing their eyes. Eris closed the book he was reading. ¡°Uwaa, I got hit today. I think Eris is great. You¡¯re always right¡­ Awesome. Great.¡± There was no such thing as jealousy. He closed his eyes and sang a hum. Eris frowned at Lepis¡¯ behavior. He was not noble, but he was an older brother. He clicked his tongue. Eris had followed his older brother, who was four years older than him, to where he was learning. It was not enough, and he was about to overtake it. Eris didn¡¯t think he was special. He only thought that Lepis was weak. Lepis, who was smiling even though it was right, did not understand. ¡°But, why are you smiling?¡± Lepis got up and approached him. He grabbed Eris¡¯s hand. It was rude to touch another person¡¯s body without permission, even by family members. Terrified, he pulled away from Lepis¡¯s hand. ¡°Yes! I¡¯m happy to have you. Mom smiles because of you.¡± Eris couldn¡¯t understand his way of thinking. As the attendant announced lunch, Lepis ran downstairs. Eris stared blankly at the spot where Lepis had left. He gazed at the hand he was holding. For a while, he felt a sense of warmth being transmitted, so he stared blankly at his hand because the hot heat lingered. * * * It was the year Eris was ten and Lepis was fourteen. Lepis was still above the average level, but Verica didn¡¯t like it. Even though he studied day and night to meet her expectations, it didn¡¯t work out. Lepis, who was sad and never lost his smile, finally became depressed. Eris could immediately notice his change, which no one cared about. Lepis, who used to be annoying and played pranks, did not come near. It didn¡¯t feel like he hated Eris. He was a man of unproductive words. However, his speech gradually diminished. Because of that, he was concerned about Lepis, which was acting strange. He hung out in front of Verica¡¯s quarters late at night. He knew it was a disobedient act that his mother would hate. Still, he knocked on the door. ¡°I have something to tell you.¡± Eris stood at the door until permission was given. To meet his mother Just to meet his mother¡­ Eris felt anxious. His heart was pounding and pounding. ¡°Come in.¡± Verica¡¯s voice was heard. Then, he carefully opened the door and approached her. Even in the dark, he could see the cool gaze in her eyes. As Eris faltered, she beckoned to him. ¡°What happened? You¡¯re never like this.¡± She was puzzled by Eris¡¯ strange behavior. She normally would not have allowed him to visit, but she opened the door anyway. ¡°I think brother Lepis is a bit strange.¡± Verica felt her interest waning. She frowned as she didn¡¯t want to talk about that lacking child. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about such a lacking child.¡± ¡°¡­But, he is my brother.¡± Eris clenched his fist as his hands were trembling. Verica clicked her tongue. He wasn¡¯t supposed to be hanging out with that lacking child. To become a good noble, he had to let go of his emotions ¡ª love, friendship, or anything else. A high place was a lonely place. If he had feelings of compassion for others, he wouldn¡¯t be able to stand it. For Eris, he shouldn¡¯t have any more useless feelings because he was the one to climb high. ¡°This world is a place where the weak are slaughtered, and only the strong survive.¡± Eris was horrified by her as she sat gracefully as if she was a snake twirling. So, he unknowingly took a step back. ¡°You are acting out of manner.¡± Seeing the frightened Eris, Verica murmured. He looked at his mother. As if Verica didn¡¯t care that he was frightened, she looked down at him and murmured. ¡°I need to add more culture.¡± His heart was pounding anxiously. It was not something to say to him, who was concerned about his brother. The kindness that she showed to him¡­ The favor that she showed was because he was a worthwhile child. He was still young and scared that he would be thrown away. Fear swallowed up his compassion. Eris didn¡¯t care about Lepis anymore. He ignored him. Chapter 39 Chapter 39 ¨C Laria Lepis (2) A banquet was held. It was to celebrate Eris¡¯s birthday. Generally, birthday banquets were held once the age of twelve was over. However, even as Lepis turned twelve, he never had a birthday banquet for him. Although Eris was still underage, it was said that it was held without an outsider though the banquet was a banquet. Gifts and congratulations abounded. Eris, who was being greeted, remembered his older brother, whom he had forgotten. He grew more emaciated and became ill. After the banquet, he led his exhausted body to his room. Eris saw Lepis, who was waiting for him in front of his room. Looking at him, Lepis smiled brightly. His wrist, handing the gift, was noticeably thin, disturbing Eris¡¯s head. ¡°Happy birthday.¡± Eris did not like weakness. He brushed his hand harshly. The gift Lepis had prepared was thrown on the floor. A brief silence lingered, and Lepis smiled awkwardly. ¡°Did¡­ Did I do something wrong?¡± He gazed at Eris with eyes that wavered aimlessly as if denying reality. Lepis grabbed his shoulder and shook it. Eris frowned at how such power came from slender wrists and pulled him away with a light gesture. The wrists fell lightly. ¡°I don¡¯t need a present from brother, you lacking child.¡± Saying so, he passed Lepis, who was looking at his arm. The shoulder that he grabbed was hot, but his fingertips were cold. ¡°You¡­ You became a monster, too.¡± Eris, with Lepis¡¯s muffled voice stuck in her ear, turned his head to look at him. He bent down and picked up the gift that Eris had thrown. Where did he forget the etiquette that he should not bow his back under any circumstances¡­? He gazed at Lepis pathetically. ¡°Haa¡­ Look at you now. How lacking.¡± Eris approached the crying Lepis. With no compassion, he felt nothing even as Lepis cried. He just found an example. He looked for the standard. He looked at Lepis, who was sixteen years old and looked shorter than him. ¡°¡­This place is crazy.¡± ¡°Huh? I think it¡¯s brother who doesn¡¯t fit in with our family¡¯s dignity that is crazy.¡± Eris ridiculed his remarks, which he would normally have ignored. He didn¡¯t know why he was acting so impulsively. Lepis, who had already stopped crying, passed him. A few days passed after that. Lepis was dead. Eris looked at Lepis, who had become a cold corpse. Medicines were scattered around him. Even though he died, his funeral was not held and there were no common tributes. Verica clicked her tongue with a cold gaze. ¡°It¡¯s a shame I didn¡¯t report the birth of the second child. It must have been a curse.¡± Eris stared at Verica as she gently stroked his hair. ¡°Isn¡¯t that right, Lepis?¡± She called Eris the name of the dead Lepis. As she told her that she didn¡¯t register the birth, she called him Lepis. Eris wasn¡¯t stupid enough to not understand. ¡°You must eat better than that. You¡¯re sixteen, so why are you so small?¡± ¡°¡­Yes, mother.¡± ¡°You need to exercise right now.¡± ¡°Yes, mother.¡± That day, Eris wore the same clothes that Lepis wore. The clothes fit just like they were tailored for him. He was appalled. Did he think that he and his brother was a family? Eris seemed to know the answer somehow, even if he didn¡¯t ask, and¡­ he understood why Lepis told him about becoming a monster. He was a monster. In his own brother¡¯s death, even in Lepis¡¯ death, he felt nothing. Verica looked at Lepis, withdrawn in front of her. Gear was not an emotion allowed for him. She approached Lepis slowly and met his gaze. ¡°Are you scared of me?¡± He was educated not to fear when the blade of death entered his neck. Lepis also wanted to erase unnecessary emotions, just as he had forgotten the feeling of compassion. He avoided her gaze without realizing it. His hands trembled at the unfamiliar fear. ¡°You will need education.¡± Verica¡¯s hand gently stroked Lepis¡¯ cheek. That night Verica and Lepis rode their carriage to Astrian. Curious about her mother¡¯s family he was seeing for the first time, and for a moment, she led him down to the basement. ¡°Mother! I was wrong.¡± Lepis was locked up in a warehouse. He knocked on the warehouse door to break it. It was a dark space with no light coming in. His delicate hands were torn as pain and fear corroded his brain. It was dark, he couldn¡¯t see anything. It was so dark that he couldn¡¯t even see his hands. It was a room for torturing prisoners, created in an era of magic. Darkness where they can¡¯t see anything. Lepis was afraid. He screamed. It felt strange to touch something, but he couldn¡¯t see it. He remembered his dead brother. He was like a dead person. ¡°AAAHH! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!¡± He screamed in monstrous horror, screaming even while crying. Then, after laughing for a while, he resigned and gave up acting. How much time had passed? No, he didn¡¯t even notice how many days had passed. There was the sound of a door opening with a creaking sound. He saw a hand that he could feel but couldn¡¯t see. Lepis stared blankly at the hand. ¡°It took 30 minutes just to calm down.¡± Verica stared at Lepis with cold eyes. Several times after that, he was locked up in that dark room. He learned that she would take him out of the room if he was quiet. Even though he knew that, the first few times he cried. Lepis looked at Verica, looking down at him pathetically, and bit his lip. He would be thrown away. She would have another child. Lepis was better than his older brother, so she raised him. He knew she would abandon him when a better child was born. The next moment, he grabbed the hem of Verica¡¯s skirt. ¡°¡­I¡¯ll do, I¡¯ll do¡­ I¡¯ll do better, mother.¡± ¡°¡­I like your sense.¡± Lepis had not gone into the room and screamed since that day. After that, the sadistic education continued. As the whip swung in front of him, he reflexively closed his eyes. He felt a tingling pain in his back. Several more times after that. He shouldn¡¯t have blinked his eyes at the swinging whip. He bit his lip. Lepis was eighteen. Actual age fourteen. He did not scream, despite the pain of the flesh being ripped. The moment he screamed, he knew he was going to be whipped again. Lepis bit his lip. There was no day when his body was good. He was educated in politics, economics, academia, and swordsmanship by day, and was trained to kill emotions by night. As he took away fear, removed compassion, and killed sympathy, sorrow, and anger, he was reduced to the need for sleep, appetite, and s*x, the human needs. Still, she left behind a feeling of disgust. Verica didn¡¯t want her child to make friends with people who were inferior to him. She whispered to Lepis. ¡°Kill him.¡± He was holding a dagger as she sat across on a chair and gazed at him. In front of Lepis, a young child resembling his dead brother was standing and looking at him. ¡°Please¡­ Please, save me.¡± The child crawled under his feet. Lepis stared at the child indifferently and stabbed him to death. He didn¡¯t feel anything at all, even with the strange sensation of cutting through skin. He couldn¡¯t feel anything. Verica looked up at him with cold eyes. She was satisfied. It was exactly the look she wanted. ¡°Now, you have become quite useful.¡± She patted Lepis on the shoulder. Now, his physique looked like his age. He ate good food and exercised. Verica thought it was worth caring a little bit. ¡°I¡¯m going to send you to the academy. Prove your skills there.¡± Lepis nodded his head mechanically. Verica thought it was time for her to publicize the masterpiece she had created to the world. Don¡¯t talk to the child of vulgar blood. It was a sarcastic remark while looking at Lepis. The academy students hoped that he would be angry when they insulted him. When he was angry, or weeping, they would try to demean him even more. However, Lepis didn¡¯t even respond to their words. The children, who had initially ridiculed him, did not bother him, perhaps losing interest when Lepis did not respond. They had no particular reason for harassing or for stopping bullying him. They simply were bothered by him coming from Duchy Astrian. The results of the first test were posted on the bulletin board. It was an unprecedented score. Lepis thought it was an obvious result. Those who mocked him shut their mouths. So, he got perfect marks in both exams in the first semester. The class was easier than expected. It was at a low level that was far below what he had normally studied. This result was obvious. In the second semester of his first year, he made a tight schedule and took twice the eighteen credits that ordinary students take, regardless if the classes were in the evening or in the early morning. Still, he did not miss a perfect score in all subjects. At first, the students who had been clamoring for an investigation into what he had done, shut up when they saw their overwhelming difference with Lepis. They called him the academy monster. Lepis rejected all those who approached him out of curiosity, regardless of gender. Those who were rejected by him heard the same thing. ¡ªI don¡¯t have enough time to study. So, he attended his five-year academy for only two and a half years before graduating. He was actually the youngest to receive a diploma at four years younger than his known age. Verica was very sorry for that. ¡°A diploma at the age of twenty-one¡­ If they had known that you were originally seventeen years old, it would have been even more crazy. It¡¯s a pity.¡± She gazed at him with a curious expression. He hid his callused hands behind his back. Calluses were not an honorable trophy for her, who wanted the best results with little effort. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 40 Chapter 40 ¨C Laria Lepis (3) After that, Lepis became the youngest administrator of the Imperial Palace. He had since been promoted to the position of the youngest assistant and the youngest chief of staff. At the age of twenty, Distria ascended the throne. When he became Emperor, he cut off all his aides who were not working by my standards. Even though the blank space was considerable, there was nothing missing or lacking. He looked at Lepis with curious eyes. ¡°Isn¡¯t it difficult?¡± ¡°¡­It¡¯s better to be alone than to work with idiots like that.¡± Hearing Lepis¡¯ words, he laughed out loud. Distria gave him the right to appoint an assistant. However, the vacancy was not easily filled. ¡°Why hasn¡¯t it been filled yet?¡± ¡°No one is of any use.¡± Lepis handed the quarterly report to him. Despite a large amount of the report, it was neatly organized and was very pleasing to Distria. He was a great person, except for being picky about things. ¡°¡­Why don¡¯t you teach them like you?¡± ¡°A high-level workforce like me training¡­? It¡¯s a waste of time.¡± Distria shook his head in defeat. After that, Lepis recruited and trained some aides. Shortly after, they resigned after not being able to withstand his intensive education, so Distria never spoke of the vacant position again. Lepis was competent, so he was as dangerous as he was capable. If he didn¡¯t work, the Imperial Palace wouldn¡¯t revolve. Even though Lepis with no desire for material and power, the Emperor always had to be prepared for the worst. It was his mistake to hand over the personnel rights in the first place. The Emperor appointed two separate teams of aides to manage him. ¡°I want you to work a little more leisurely.¡± Distria¡¯s intentions were clearly understood by Lepis, and he gladly accepted the vacation he had given him. However, he did not go down to his estate. He spent time reading books in the Imperial Library. Then, he met Arne. It was a strange feeling. Every time her blonde hair twinkled in the sunlight, his heart was beating with strange sounds. There was not a single thing that was not beautiful, the corners of her lips rising in an arc, the gestures of turning the pages. He stared blankly at Arne. He knew that she had come here because of Distria¡¯s threat¡­ And yet, she sat in an upright posture without being disturbed. He let out a disturbing sound as his heart was pounding. It was the kind of intensity he had never felt in his life. He heard that Distria and Arne had slept together. Lepis felt bad. It was a bad feeling that he did not know the origins. He stared at the paperwork, unfocused. Although he had to write down what the Kingdom of Sorano did to the Carwen Empire¡­ He only stared blankly at the papers and ruffled his hair. Closing his eyes and opening it again, he quickly moved his hand again and filled out the paperwork. It was pure coincidence that he found out about Raphael and Arne having sex. He was on his way to Distria¡¯s office with a document that stated the reason for the invasion of the Kingdom of Sorano, which he made up roughly. Since the Emperor¡¯s office and bedroom were close, he met Raphael, who was carrying Arne. Arne in his arms was a mess. ¡°The Imperial Palace is a brothel.¡± Lepis impulsively spoke to him. While Raphael was more than angry, he didn¡¯t say anything. Rather, he seemed to be in a good mood. ¡°¡­You¡¯re making rude remarks.¡± Raphael laughed at him. He opened the door to Distria¡¯s bedroom. No matter how capable he was, it was a right that was not granted to him. It was an obvious provocation. Lepis was more concerned about the woman in his arms than the provocation Raphael was making against him. ¡°I made¡­ a mistake.¡± It was she who had a face messed up with tear marks, yet she looked beautiful even at that. His heart beat again with an ominous sound. It was the feeling he had never felt. His heart was on Arne so much that he didn¡¯t know how he was passing his time. ¡°I¡¯m going crazy.¡± When Distria entrusted Arne¡¯s management to him, he was not displeased. He wasn¡¯t offended, even though he knew it was a ploy to reduce his power, which got overgrown. That didn¡¯t make him devastated. ¡­Rather¡­ rather, it felt good. Even though he wasn¡¯t educated enough to endure the hard times to do this, even so, his steps to see Arne were light. Arne was tied up in the room. There were no unscathed parts of her neck, wrists, or legs. Seeing that, his heart sank down. It was neither pity nor sympathy but other emotions. Lepis let out a sigh unknowingly and unchained the chains by the key handed from Distria. ¡°¡­Huht.¡± She let out a moan of pain. At the same time, his front swelled. Lepis felt embarrassed to see his manhood grow its size. He shook his head in an absurd situation. Grabbing her leash, he tucked her into the bathtub. Blood rushed to his bottom again as Arne was in pure white. As he poured cold water on her, Lepis had the absurd thought that he wanted to drink the cold water instead. ¡°Anyway, I¡¯m busy with festival preparations now, and I have a lot of work to do. What? What kind of aide does this? Do you understand what I mean¡­?¡± He muttered as he wiped Arne¡¯s body with a dry cloth. Even with the act of wiping off the water, his thing, which became hardened, grew in size like an animal. Lepis tried to ignore it. He removed her handcuffs, treated her bruised wounds, grabbed Arne¡¯s leash, and threw her onto the bed. He felt like Arne was a temptress. It was the first time he had such a hard erection. Taking a deep breath, he spread Arne¡¯s legs apart. The medicine was applied to the swollen inner wall. Whenever he rubbed her inner wall with his hand, water came out. Somehow, he felt uncomfortable. He felt a sense of disappointment. ¡°Do not spill water.¡± He thought that Arne had had an unwanted relationship with Raphael. However, it seemed that he had not thought of Arne dripping water even under his hand like this. Lepis felt his heart pounding intensely. It was a feeling he knew¡­ It was anger, and it was utter disgust. Lepis sighed in anger. He didn¡¯t even know why he was so angry. ¡°Don¡¯t do this.¡± It was a leg that opened to anyone, so maybe it was okay to get drunk on it. ¡°¡­It¡¯s something you don¡¯t have to worry about.¡± He was impelled by Arne¡¯s murmur. If he didn¡¯t worry, would she spread her legs out to others? His heart was beating faster than before. Was it a heartbeat from anger or some other emotion he doesn¡¯t know about¡­? ¡°If I do it once, will it stop?¡± Lepis untied his tie and took off his white shirt. It was a garment he had never taken off except in his own quarters in the Imperial Palace. It was a strange feeling¡­ The thing that had raised its size up a while ago was getting smaller. Lepis put the medicine on his genitals and stood up. Was it really that easy to stand up like this? He had no experience with this, so he didn¡¯t know. He grabbed Arne¡¯s legs, spread them apart, and pushed himself in at once. It was dense and stiff. The damp inside came to him. Lepis groaned at the pleasure he felt for the first time in his life. Arne¡¯s inside, who was pulling on him, was so ecstatic. He put himself inside her as if possessed by something. ¡°Ahk¡­¡± Every time a moan erupted from Arne¡¯s teeth, his ecstasy was thrown somewhere on the floor, and his mood worsened. Lepis felt submerged in the abyss. Was she disgusting? Even though he was confused, he shook his head¡­ ¡­That wasn¡¯t it. It felt good and bad as if his reason had been paralyzed by a pleasure he had never felt before. He had an idea of ??wanting to mess with her. Then, he remembered her swelling and did not move violently. Although his mood was strangely bad, his body was honest. Lepis, who had come inside her, let out a long sigh. It was an impulsive act. As he wore the loosely wrinkled clothes, he was confused as to what the hell he was doing. Lepis saw Arne gazing out the window with sad eyes. She was out of breath for a moment. There seemed to be tears in her wet eyes. He stared blankly at Arne at the pain that gripped his chest. Belatedly aware of his visit, she hastily slammed the curtains. Their eyes met. The curtains fluttered in the wind, and she turned her head. The eyes that had been frozen with emotion were transformed into expressionless again. He didn¡¯t like it. Lepis had a funny thought that he wanted to make her eyes emotional. He came close to Arne. ¡­He wanted her to panic. He wanted her to look at him. He had a strange thought that he did not know where it came from. As she turned her head to look at him, he felt his heart pounding. ¡°It is still cold.¡± ¡°¡­You don¡¯t have to worry about it.¡± He liked those cold words. It was good that she answered him. ¡°It bothers me when you catch a cold.¡± He spat out words he didn¡¯t like, wrapping the thick robe he had brought around her. When he took her hand and sat her in the chair, Lepis felt the warmth of her hand touching him. He had a vague memory of how he had prepared Arne¡¯s meals after that. The act of bowing down, which he despised¡­ was displaying his emotions. The sound of breathing doused with excitement. Everything seemed unlike himself. Lepis, who had run away from the room for less poignant reasons, looked at his flesh that was standing firmly. ¡°¡­Crazy.¡± __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 41 Chapter 41 ¨C Laria Lepis (END) Lepis hurriedly took his steps to his quarters in the Imperial Palace. He sat down on the bed and took his pants off, looking at his flesh which had swelled tightly over his pants. It was an impulsive act. It was something he had never done before. He slowly touched his pillar. Exhaling harsh breaths through his mouth, he called out Arne¡¯s name. Her body was slender and white, and her lips were squirming as she took the soup he gave her. Even her depths that were moist and narrow when he held her before. Already ferociously swollen, his pillar expanded even more every time his thoughts deepened. ¡°Haa¡­¡± He gently stroked it before quickly grabbing it up and down. Lepis let out a harsh moan at the intense stimulation. He wanted to go into her room where she was sleeping, and took off her clothes, kissed her lips, put it inside her¡­ ¡°¡­Kugh.¡± Lepis looked at the semen coming out of the tip of his genitals. He wiped his genitals with a towel, constantly spitting out pure white s*men. He reached a climax just by imagining that he was going to put in, and he struggled with the rushing sense of shame. ¡°¡­Crazy.¡± It was Arne¡­ She would have put someone else¡¯s stuff inside her body and cried, too. She must have been in a high position, but she wasn¡¯t noble. It bothered him like mad. He deliberately avoided her, evoking bizarre feelings for her. That day, he masturbated three times just thinking about Arne. Lepis, who was deliberately avoiding Arne, heard the story about her. He heard that she wanted to meet Rewan. He instantly felt his heart plunge to the floor. He knew that Arne had special feelings for Rewan, but why was his chest getting so weird¡­? It felt like he ate something wrong. He didn¡¯t know what this feeling he had for Arne was. It made it even more painful. Lepis was disgusted with Arne¡¯s every action, every moment, everything. Originally, he would have criticized her for spending the night with Distria and meeting Rewan. She was a king, though she was hung up on a man and forgot her shame. However, he was so annoyed that he couldn¡¯t concentrate on his work. Even though he had work to be finished by tomorrow, he wondered if the story was true and went away. He mocked her for her words and told her to spread her legs¡­ Even though she pushed and rejected him, he wasn¡¯t offended. He felt rather good. At the same time, he laughed at himself as he reacted to every little action. Did Arne know that he was like this¡­? Now, why was he in a bad mood? It didn¡¯t matter why he got bothered by her. It was good to see her. He couldn¡¯t stand the way she was angry or the way she refused her because every moment was so pretty. He wanted to hold her madly. Still, Lepis didn¡¯t want to do the behavior she hated. The next day, Lepis learned that Arne would assume the position of the temporary commander of the 22nd Knights. While sorting the documents processed by Distria, his hands trembled when he found a document with the contents written on it. He couldn¡¯t understand the situation. Unpleasant and serious emotions filled Lepis. Throwing away the papers he was organizing, he ran to Arne¡¯s place. As he opened the door wide, forgetting to knock, Lepis looked at the white paper on the table. ¡°Don¡¯t do it.¡± ¡°The 22nd Knights are garbage¡­?¡± Was it because he didn¡¯t knock, broke the etiquette, and ran all the way here to tell him not to do it? Lepis shut his mouth. It was confusing. ¡°What about you who suggested that if she spread her legs, she can meet Rewan?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t do it.¡± Even though Lepis didn¡¯t want Arne to take over as the commander, he didn¡¯t know why he had these feelings. It was strange. He went silent. If she assumed the position of commander of the 22nd Knights, she would most likely spread her legs to the 22nd Knights. Lepis noticed that he didn¡¯t like it. ¡°Then, just open it up to me.¡± Lepis unbuttoned his button with trembling hands. He didn¡¯t even know why he was shaking. Taking off his coat, he approached Arne and gazed at her. Her delicate arms stopped Lepis. She looked at him with disgust. It was the look he used to see often. Lepis was strangely saddened by the look in her eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t do it.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it better alone than by the knights?¡± After that, Lepis lost himself. He despised himself for losing his control and running rampant. ¡°Me, too¡­¡± Red marks were engraved on Arne¡¯s arms that were holding him. He turned his gaze to look at his and her arms. ¡­Her arm was warm. Her lips were warm. He wanted to cry in confusion. He felt broken. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you care.¡± Lepis wanted to cry. Acacia and Lepis were originally people who had no contact with each other. While Acacia was the Emperor¡¯s knight and he was the emperor¡¯s brains, the two seldom met. Lepis applied herbs to the wounded Acacia¡¯s back. ¡°¡­She was worried.¡± Acacia knew at once who was worried about him, even though Lepis had omitted the subject. He didn¡¯t know what he was thinking¡ªthe reason Lepis helped him and the reason why Lepis cared about her. He was worried that Lepis would bother Arne. ¡°Is that so? I have sinned again.¡± Acacia sighed bitterly. Lepis was annoyed by Acacia¡¯s intimate look. He didn¡¯t even know why his own emotions got so mixed up. ¡°Why do you care so much?¡± Without realizing it, a sharp word came out. Acacia thought that he was scolding him on Distria¡¯s behalf. Was Lepis helping because he was the talent Distria needed, Acacia pondered. He went silent, not knowing how Lepis felt. The room was surrounded by silence. Eventually, Lepis got up and left Acacia¡¯s room. ¡°I hope you don¡¯t have to worry about anything.¡± Acacia didn¡¯t know whom he was telling not to worry about, so he didn¡¯t answer. It didn¡¯t take long for Acacia to recognize Lepis¡¯ feelings for Arne. It was the day she fell sick. As he glanced over her, Lepis¡¯ eyes overflowed with tenderness. It was so strange that Lepis himself didn¡¯t even know it when he looked like that. Acacia remembered him helping Arne. ¡°Do you love her?¡± ¡°¡­Love?¡± Lepis didn¡¯t seem to understand her own heart. Acacia bit his lip, thinking that he had done something wrong. He reprimanded himself inside but soon changed his mind. Then, he thought of getting Lepis, who loved Arne, and helping her escape. ¡°¡­Yes.¡± ¡°What kind of feeling¡­is that?¡± Lepis muttered blankly. He acted like someone who didn¡¯t know love. Acacia replied calmly. ¡°You want to do something without receiving anything. You keep thinking about it¡­ You¡¯re worried¡­such emotions. It¡¯s not always exciting, and sometimes you get angry when they¡¯re with other people.¡± ¡°¡­Love.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°¡­Is it love?¡± Listening to Acacia, gathering and organizing the confused emotions he had felt so far, Lepis muttered the word love as if possessed. It felt like his confused head was cleared. Lepis gazed at Arne. His heart was pounding. ¡°I think it¡¯s love. My heart is beating like this.¡± He muttered softly. A few days later, as Acacia visited his residence, Lepis welcomed his visit since he also had something he wanted to ask. Silence lingered between the two as they lifted the teacups. Acacia slowly opened his mouth. ¡°I have a request for you.¡± Lepis felt nervous. He did not know what Acacia¡¯s feelings for Arne were. He was curious about that. Still, he hid his feelings and asked Acacia bluntly. ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want him to find Rewan. Can you cooperate?¡± Lepis sighed in relief. If Acacia loved her, he could not do such a favor. ¡°¡­That seems impossible.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you loved her?¡± Acacia thought Lepis would grant his request. So, he spoke of his purpose without adding or subtracting anything. However, he got a refusal instead. He did not expect Lepis¡¯s rejection in mind. ¡°How do you feel about Arne making such a request?¡± When he asked, Acacia was silent. While Lepis said he loved Arne, it was personal feelings. Not knowing how to see himself as loyal to Arne, he sighed. ¡°¡­I serve her.¡± Since he had already spilled this far, he thought that if it went wrong, he would have to kill Lepis. Nevertheless, at those words, Lepis¡¯ expression brightened noticeably as if he didn¡¯t want Acacia to love Arne. ¡°Is that so? Such a request cannot be granted. I just won¡¯t disturb you, and I won¡¯t even tell the Emperor.¡± ¡°¡­Why?¡± ¡°I want Rewan to die.¡± It was a voice full of possessiveness. Acacia stared blankly at Lepis. ¡°I would rather her not love anyone.¡± Seeing Lepis¡¯ eyes gleamed with madness, Acacia swallowed a gulp. He couldn¡¯t tell if what he had awakened in his would be good or bad. He was silent about Lepis¡¯ love, which he did not understand. ¡°¡­.¡± Acacia bowed his head and walked out of Lepis¡¯s room. Verica did not dispel the feelings of love from Lepis. She thought that Lepis couldn¡¯t love anyone. And contrary to Verica¡¯s expectations, Lepis is now in love. Jealousy and obsession that accompany love were emotions that could not be eliminated because they were not suppressed. Lepis valued those feelings, it was like telling him that he was not a monster. Recognizing love, his heart pounded with a throbbing sound. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 42 Chapter 42 ¨C What Truth (1) Lepis¡¯ face flushed red at my touch. I had only touched my hand, and at that slight touch, he exhaled a sigh of excitement. ¡°Now¡­ I¡¯m in danger.¡± I reached out and gently touched Lepis¡¯ chest. With a twisted expression of excitement, he gently grabbed my hand as it touched his chest. It was hard to bear even this moment when he held my hand, so I quickly released my hand. Lepis took a deep breath and looked like he was about to climax at any moment. Oh¡­ good. A good reaction? ¡°¡­Haaa.¡­ Don¡¯t do it. It¡¯s hard to bear.¡± He was breathing hot air as the tip of his ear was red hot. I placed my hand on Lepis¡¯s hand, holding the doorknob before closing the slightly open door. ¡ªClick. After locking the door, I glanced at Lepis¡¯ face. He looked at me blankly for a moment as if he didn¡¯t understand the situation. A few moments passed, and he, whose face was redder than before, covered his face with one hand. Even his ears, which were not covered with his hands, were dyed red. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t look.¡± Sitting down, he muttered softly. Wow¡­ It was kind of cute. His reaction seemed to bring out a laughter. I tried to calm my lips and opened my mouth bluntly. ¡°What I will do now is to relieve your and my discomfort.¡± Even though I knew that being separated from my reason would make me feel better, I still wanted to sleep with him unknowingly. ¡°¡­Is that all?¡± Lepis, who regained his sanity, gazed up at me. He seemed a little disappointed. Nonetheless, I had no desire to advance my relationship with him. To draw a line for him this was only my will. ¡°Then, what emotions should I have?¡± He got up and embraced me. At that, I felt his body hard and hot. Under his clothes, I could feel his bulging p*nis. It was a great presence. I was overcome with the urge to touch Lepis¡¯ thing. However, there was no room for me to move in his arms that tightly gripped me. I licked my lips with my tongue in regret. I want to touch it. As he grabbed my chin and lifted it up impatiently, I opened my mouth and welcomed his tongue. He scoured every corner of my mouth. Lepis¡¯s hot body temperature grew more and more excited. The dizzy feeling weakened my legs, making it difficult for me to stand. Lepis was aware of my condition, so he carefully laid me down on the bed and quickly took off my clothes. ¡°I don¡¯t think I can¡­ take it slow.¡± He breathed heavily. With a deep kiss, he carefully licked the saliva around my mouth. He gently gripped my chest and bit the apex. Lepis¡¯s genitals trembled as if he wanted to get inside right away. The tip of his genitals was glistening with murky fluid. Crazy, really obscene¡­ ¡°You don¡¯t have to come here and pretend you care.¡± His expression hardened. Then, he opened his lips as if he wanted to say something and then shut his mouth tightly. Lepis sighed in excitement. The closer his body got closer, the louder his heartbeat could be heard. His hand, gently caressing my chest, went down. He spread my legs apart and put his fingers in them. His mouth, which had been biting my chest, ran down my stomach and gradually went down. A groan leaked out with his soft caress as he pecked at the flesh with his tongue. ¡°Ha-uht¡­!¡± As if responding to my moan, Lepis buried his face and moved his hands more quickly. Every time he stabbed deep, a moan erupted without fail. I bit my lip. ¡°Hngg¡­ Hunt¡ªUhng!¡± Lepis, who had buried his face under me, raised his head. He climbed up from the inside of my thigh before kissing my belly, chest, and collarbone. ¡°Don¡¯t bite your lip. It¡¯s okay to moan. It¡¯s all¡­ because of the drug. This.¡± ¡°¡­nng.¡± Rubbing his thing at the entrance, he then let out a low groan. Unable to bear it any longer, he slowly shoved it inside. His p*nis, which had already grown as large as it could, squeezed the entrance and entered more and more deeply. I grabbed and pulled as if welcoming a stranger. His hot and hard stuff filled my inside. Sweat was forming on Lepis¡¯ forehead. Even though I wanted him to move quickly, he didn¡¯t move, saying he was considerate of me. His care made me impatient. With both hands, I wrapped my arms around his waist. I tightened my grip, unwittingly giving strength to the thrilling sensation when his tip touched further inward. ¡°Kuht¡­ haa¡­¡± Lepis¡¯ body, which was heated with excitement, was hot. I stroked his hot, rigid, dense back. I felt the deep scars on my fingertips and traced them with my hand. Perhaps, the act of finding the beginning and the end of the scar gave Lepis excitement, he let out a long exhaled breath. The scar that started on his shoulder line ran across his back to his hip. Many small wounds were felt around the large scar. My curiosity soared at his deep wounds. Lepis¡¯s p*nis burrowed deep into my body. ¡°Haa¡­ I will move.¡± ¡°Huuhkk¡­!¡± He gazed at me with feverish eyes. He grabbed my hand that was stroking his back and kissed his lips meticulously on each fingertip one by one, lovingly. The next moment, he began to move little by little and let out a rough breath. ¡°Ku-huk, haaa¡­¡± I met his eyes as he looked at me lovingly. The speed at which Lepis moved his waist increased little by little. As he moved, he grabbed my leg and kissed my toe or calf. I felt tickled by the gentle gaze. ¡°I love you.¡± Lepis sighed softly. I pretended not to hear and avoided his gaze. Still, Lepis didn¡¯t care as he bowed his head and kissed my lips, leaving red marks on my neck and shoulders. He kissed me all over my body. ¡°I love you.¡± He hugged me softly. As his climax was gradually creeping in, he increased the speed of his thrusting. The sound that stimulated the squeaking movement grew louder. At the same time, I felt like I was coming, too. ¡°Hu-uhng¡­ huht¡­¡± ¡°Uhhng, hu-uhk¡­!¡± Every time he poked inside, I let out a moan. Even the way I was drenched in excitement and moaning, he looked at me with loving eyes. He kissed me long. At the last moment of his climax, he took himself out of me and came for a long time on the sheet. He let out a rough breath. He wiped his sweat-drenched hair and stared at me. Lepis¡¯s p*nis inflated again. I asked Lepis as he kissed my chest again. ¡°This, too¡­ Is it because of the drug?¡± ¡°¡­It seems so.¡± He coveted me and coveted me so much that I thought that his ascetic appearance before was all acting. Even after coveting me like a beast, if I showed signs of struggling, he would stop and ask about my condition. I fainted for a moment in the intense pleasure, and when I opened my eyes, he had a worried expression like a dog looking at his sick master. Of course, his p*nis swelled up again after he confirmed that I was fine. Even Lepis seemed unfamiliar with himself. From sunrise to sunset, we vigorously entangled our bodies, and he fell asleep. I looked at Lepis¡¯ face, who was lying next to me, sleeping soundly. He had been whispering his love so much that every time we had sex, it hurt my ear. But, I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever like him¡­ However, after vigorously sleeping with him, peace came to my gloomy heart. I put my hand over his head. I gazed at his sleeping face and stroked his red hair. Lepis, who opened his eyes, met my gaze. He grabbed my hand that was stroking his hair. He placed his lips on the back of my hand. Licking the back of my hand, he put my finger in his mouth and licked it. He looked at me as he put my hand in his mouth and licked it as well. There was still a deep desire in Lepis¡¯ eyes. ¡°¡­Stop.¡± Lepis pulled out my licked hand. I was a little sad, too, though the time for making excuses about the drug was already over. We could have done it one more time by pretending not to know, although I didn¡¯t want a more advanced relationship with him. I didn¡¯t even want to give him a room. After I filled my sexual desire, I didn¡¯t need him now. Lepis looked at me with sad eyes. ¡°It was just a pointless act.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Lepis looked at me without a word as if he had been hurt. Even facing those eyes, I spoke calmly. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t love you, I¡¯d rather you die.¡± ¡°¡­I know. You don¡¯t even have to say that.¡± Those words were so cold that I wondered if they were meant to be said to a person who had slept with me. Lepis smiled bitterly. He picked up the clothes that were lying miserably on the floor and put them on. His crumpled clothes didn¡¯t suit him, who was always neat. It was a dark night with no moon. Only a faint light from the stars lit the room. ¡°Still, I will love you.¡± Lepis put the least wrinkled clothes on me before buttoning on my clothes one by one. ¡­How could he love me so much? Even if he loved someone else, would he love them this much? ¡°I am not asking you to love me. Just let me love you.¡± Saying so, he got down on his knees and kissed the top of my feet. He didn¡¯t seem to feel humiliated even in this humiliating posture. Lepis gazed at me with sad eyes. The arrogant and ignorant Lepis in the present was nowhere to be found, as if it was never there in the first place. I ended up not answering him. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 43 Chapter 43 ¨C What Truth (2) I never had s*x with Raphael so much that I wondered if he had returned. Occasionally, he would come to my room and be called by Lepis or his attendants. When that happened, he would gaze at me with an annoyed expression and leave the room. However, he did not ignore them. Raphael was happy to be able to have s*x with me though he wouldn¡¯t be happy to have s*x like this. Every time he entered my room, I noticed to some extent that it was Lepis or Acacia¡¯s interference with calling him out. However, I never imagined that they would be so thoroughly interfering. How could I not have s*x for once? The feelings of being depressed and of wanting to be angry with them all burned up. I just wanted to. Besides, it wasn¡¯t a bad thing to take care of things like that. Maybe, it was because of Lepis¡¯ confession. And, when those days passed over into a week, I felt dissatisfied. What is the use of their help¡­? I don¡¯t want it. Besides, there was really nothing to do in a room without even cell phones or people. I was so bored. Even so, while it was amusing to watch Acacia before, he didn¡¯t even show his nose now because of the order I gave him. Still, it was reassuring to have him. There was nothing to do today, so I looked out the window and counted the number of clouds. Then, I glanced at the door, startled by the sound of someone opening the door harshly. No one should be coming? Raphael, who seemed very angry, was staring at me with a ferocious look. Grabbing my arm, he gave me no time to react. I was dragged out without even thinking of resisting his firm grip. He then dragged me through the quiet hallway that had no one around. Arriving at the Imperial Palace, he put me in a carriage. The moment I opened my mouth, his lips met mine. The carriage departed with the sound of the coachman¡¯s whip. ¡­Well, this is quite good, but where are we going? I was a little confused. After finishing the deep kiss, he covered my mouth with his hand and whispered in my ear. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to let the coachman know you¡¯re being f*cked, be quiet.¡± As soon as he finished speaking, he ignorantly pushed himself inside me. He shut his mouth tightly and seemed to hold back his moans. Every time he moved, the carriage rattled loudly. Raphael let out a low curse. The next moment, he pulled out what he had put in and sat down before grabbing my arm as I sat as far away as possible. While in a sitting position, he placed my entrance on top of his pillar. I trembled with pleasure when he reached the very end of the root, and I wrapped my hand around Raphael¡¯s neck. Every time the carriage shook, Raphael got deeper. Wow, this feels like a new concept of automatic d*ldo¡­? Biting bit my chest with his teeth, he wrapped one hand around my waist and stroked my thigh with the other. The awkwardly folded legs tingled. Every time the carriage rattled a little, he lifted his back. Raphael¡¯s hot breath on my neck was erotic. ¡°Ha¡­ ah.¡± He came deep inside once and pulled out. With his clothes straightened, Raphael pushed his hand inside me and stirred until he reached his destination. I covered my mouth with both hands and struggled to contain my groan. The carriage eventually stopped. My clothes were already torn and in rags. The coachman¡¯s voice announcing the arrival was heard. Perhaps, we¡¯ll have s*x with the coachman here¡­ My heart was pounding with anticipation. Raphael took off his cloak and wrapped it around me. His clothes were buttoned all the way down to my knees. My anticipation cooled down as I was led by him into his capital¡¯s mansion. ¡°Wash her.¡± He had placed me in the hands of the handmaid. Perhaps, because it was the master¡¯s order, she didn¡¯t say anything. She responded by simply nodding her head, even while washing me clean. The handmaid in a dress soon led me to his room. In the room, Raphael, with a glass of wine, was waiting for me. Seeing me being led by the handmaid, he approached. He glanced at me and, dissatisfied with me in a dress, threw the wine glass he was holding at the handmaid. ¡°Who told you to do this?¡± The handmaid wasn¡¯t surprised, nor did she even scream. After throwing me onto the bed, he sauntered over to the handmaid. Raphael took the whip from his waist and swung it lightly at her. The handmaid, who was being whipped, shed tears but did not make a sound. It looked so bizarre that I could only stare blankly as I sat down and watched his actions. ¡°Get out.¡± Even though her clothes were torn and bloodstains were clearly visible all over her body, she clasped her hand and said her greeting before going outside. Raphael slowly approached me. He, who always seemed playful and infinitely light, looked different. ¡°What did you do with those bastards?¡± Raphael grabbed my chin, and with a strong force, he laid me on the bed. ¡°Did you treat them with your body like you were f*cking with me?¡± He then took off his shirt. He seemed angry to the end of his head. They did things I didn¡¯t even want them to do, so why do I have to endure this bastard¡¯s anger? Although I couldn¡¯t convince him, the fact that I hadn¡¯t had s*x with him once was bad. ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± ¡ªSlap! Raphael slapped me on the cheek as he seemed unwilling to listen to me. No, really, all the people here have weird personalities¡­ Why was he asking me if he was not going to listen? The next moment, he opened the closet door in front of him, and I could various tools were hung on the inside of the closet. He came over to me with what looked like a d*ldo and a few bottles that were supposed to be medicine. After that, he slowly pulled off the ribbon dress. When I resisted, moving my body to and fro, he slapped me on the cheek once more. ¡°Don¡¯t do it.¡± ¡°Shut up.¡± Saying so, Raphael put his finger in my gaping mouth. He poured the potion in his hand into my mouth. Without touching my tongue, the hot liquid went straight into my esophagus. He stared into my hazy eyes and fastened the leash. ¡°It¡¯s nice to see you shivering with shame, but I don¡¯t want to see it today.¡± He whispered softly in my ear before kissing his lips on the white slip. On the soft cloth soaked in moisture, my n*pples stood out. Raphael inserted the instrument he had brought into the anus with me lying face down. ¡°Lay down and cry. Be like a dog.¡± I could feel intense pain as if my anus was being ripped apart. No sh*t, why would he put it in without preparation? Does he want me to stab a cucumber in your anus, too? Raphael grabbed my hand and lifted me up. I staggered at the slowly rising medicine and moved as he led. Every time I moved, I could hear clang bells coming from nowhere. He took me in front of the full-length mirror. What he put behind me was an anal tail. I would call it with this name here as well¡ªa small bell hung from the end of the long tuft of hair. Soon, Raphael put a dog ear headband over my head and made me walk on my arms and knees. The tail lifted my clothes, revealing my rear. He stood still, urging me to move. Every time he kicked my buttock, what was inside shook, giving me an exhilarating pleasure. ¡°Hu-uht¡­!¡± ¡°Arne. You came already?¡± He pulled my leash up every time I sat down as my legs loosened up. Opening the door as he rubbed my entrance with his toe, he slowly led me into the mansion hallway. I couldn¡¯t think of anything as my reason was gradually paralyzing. As I walked as he led me, the bell sounded from the tail. ¡°Good, You walk well.¡± He led me around as if taking a dog for a walk. He also introduced me to his employees. They patted my hair with a grim look. Even with that touch, I felt the thrill of pleasure and shed love liquid. ¡°This is my new puppy. Isn¡¯t she cute?¡± Raphael wandered through the mansion. He wandered all over the place to the point where I didn¡¯t think he was the kind of person who cared about other people¡¯s eyes and we met quite a few maids. Then, he gently stroked my hair as I tightened my body and refused to walk. ¡°Are you afraid they will tell you you look like a wh*re?¡± When he turned his attention to the busy people, he slid his finger into my entrance and stirred it around. He had eyes that were very friendly yet glistening with madness, too. In my lowered field of vision, only the legs of the maids and servants moving around were seen. ¡°¡­Ah-huht¡­ Don¡¯t¡ªhu-ng, do it!¡± I gripped the hem of his trousers as I succumbed to Raphael¡¯s pleasure. Lifting my head, I gazed up at him. It didn¡¯t matter, but I thought it would be better if he plowed his p*nis inside me. As the medicine gradually took effect, I gasped for breath. ¡°It¡¯s okay. They¡¯re not going to be light-mouthed about you.¡± I gasped for breath at Raphael¡¯s feet, feeling as if my body was floating. ¡°I cut off their tongue so they couldn¡¯t speak. So, don¡¯t worry.¡± The hazy feeling slowly faded as he laughed softly and spoke cruelly. Goosebumps welled up on my body, and I stared up at him with blank eyes. Raphael was a crazy bastard beyond imagination. Still unable to do anything, I was dragged along in the direction he was towing me. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 44 Chapter 44 ¨C What Truth (3) TW: The chapter contained humiliation and self-harm. Some scenes may have you feeling sick to the core. Be warned. Viewers¡¯ discretion is advised. ¡°Eat it all. It is a special food I prepared for you.¡± He gently stroked my chin. The reason, who returned with the weak stimulus for a while, was quickly engulfed by the drug again. In the parlor, my face was stuck in a bowl of dog food. Raphael, who treats me less than a human, has given me a sense of excitement. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­want to¡­ eat.¡± ¡°Huh¡­? For saying that, water is dripping underneath?¡± Raphael poked his fingers underneath again. Every time he did, my body trembled. My trembling arms managed to support myself, preventing myself from falling. He slapped my buttocks forcefully. ¡°Who told you to spill it on the floor? Lick it.¡± He said to me, pointing to the love liquid I had spilled on the floor. Then, he grabbed my leash and turned me around. As he buried my face there, I could hear his laughter and the bell ringing in my ears. Raphael patted my back with one hand. The exhilarating sensation, as if an electric current was flowing, made me lose the strength in the arms that were supporting my body, and I collapsed down. Seeing that, he sighed and held me up. I felt his p*nis protruding under his clothes. Taking me to the room, the sound of his heavy breathing reached my ears. Raphael hastily shoved himself into me while still in the doorway without taking off all his clothes or laying me down. With no place to support myself, my lower back was clenched and bent. Raphael¡¯s strong arms held me from behind. Every time he moved, I could hear the bells ringing from my tail. ¡ªRing-ling~ ¡°Do you like it getting f*cked while shaking your tail like a bitch?¡± ¡°Hu-uht¡­ Huu¡ªno¡­ Don¡¯t!¡± Raphael made his characteristic low-quality obscene rumors. He pulled the firmly hard n*pple tight and ran his tongue along the spine of my back. The stimulation of the anal tail embedded in my back was also felt together, and every time he thrust, I could feel the intense pleasure that choked my breath. ¡­Drugs are the best. It¡¯s always exciting. Tears welled up in my eyes at the intense sexual stimulation. ¡°Really?¡± Suddenly, he stopped his movements. Because of that, the intense stimulation subsided, and the arm that had been holding it disappeared. My legs loosened, and I fell to the floor. Raphael¡¯s connected part with me fell out, giving me the last intense pleasure. ¡°Now, it looks like you¡¯re raising your ass to be f*cked?¡± Saying so, he gently stroked my ass. The anal tail wagged back and forth. There was pain whenever great stimulation was applied to the still unprepared anal. I didn¡¯t even have the strength to lift my fingers, so I put my head down on the floor and breathed ragged breaths. ¡°Hu-ugh¡­ heuk¡­¡± ¡°What do you mean, when you¡¯re doing so well?¡± Raphael slapped my rear. Once. Twice¡­ Gradually, the speed and intensity of the hits grew stronger. I slowly reached a climax with the burning sensation on my ass and stimulation of the anal tail. Perhaps, he was aware of my condition, so he pulled out the anal tail at once. ¡°Huhngg¡­!¡± My body quivered, pouring out love liquid. I heard Raphael¡¯s sneer behind my back. He grabbed my leash and forced me to stand up before chewing my ear and whispered to me. ¡°Do you like getting hit than for me to put it in? I think you like getting hit¡­¡± ¡°¡­Because of the drugs¡­ Huht¡ª¡± Then, he grabbed my leash and threw me on his bed as he slowly took off his clothes. Feeling that I had to do something now, I tried to get out of bed the moment he took off his clothes. Raphael pulled the leash. He grabbed my hair and kissed my lips. Raphael then stroked my back and spread my legs apart with his thighs. ¡°Where are you going, I haven¡¯t even started yet.¡± I fainted, and when I opened my eyes, it was the room of the Imperial Palace. I removed the blanket to the landscape I was used to after staying for a few months. Acacia was standing in front of the door. He saw me wake up and closed the door, and came towards me. Perhaps because of the darkness, his expression looked a little dark. I was engulfed in unexplained anxiety. ¡°¡­What¡¯s going on?¡± I hid my anxiety and asked him. I was worried that Rewan might have been caught. My trembling fingers were cold. ¡°¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Acacia bowed his head. Whether the anxiety became a reality, I had to ask what was going on, although my lips didn¡¯t open at all. The feeling that was okay until not too long ago, the good feelings all burned out. ¡­How did I forget Rewan ran away? Even though I wanted to, I felt disillusioned again that I was originally such a person. ¡°What are you sorry about? What else?¡± After staying silent for a while, I hid my conflicting feelings and barely spoke. I didn¡¯t even have time to hide this impatience and anxiety. As I waited for his lips to open, he looked nervous and anxious. Acacia gazed with a sad face. No¡­ Don¡¯t make that face and tell me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t protect it.¡± My heart fell to the floor. What did he fail to protect? Rewan? Was he dead? Or, about my request? Has Rewan been arrested? The hem of the blanket slid off my shoulder, and I slapped Acacia¡¯s cheek. I was frustrated. ¡°Sorry what?¡± He did not avoid it even though it could be easily avoided. I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. The past, when I had s*x with Raphael, enjoyed it and did nothing, was a past that had already gone. I blamed him. Acacia hugged my waist. ¡°¡­You¡¯ve been through a lot. Sorry for not being able to protect you¡­ Hit me more until you feel better.¡± For a moment, I hurriedly removed the hand that had been holding on to him from his body. It wasn¡¯t about Rewan. Acacia was looking down at my toes with his head lowered. From the tip of my toes, as if a wave of water, hatred for me rose. ¡°¡­No.¡± I enjoyed it. I enjoyed everything. Acacia focused his gaze on me, who was quiet. I met those black eyes that were filled with guilt. Rewan came to mind. My mood went down to the mud. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t worry.¡± Thanks to Acacia for asking my regards, I¡¯d rather¡­ Rather¡­hear that Rewan had been captured. I thought I would feel better than this. I was terribly selfish and self-centered¡­ I didn¡¯t like being in pain. ¡°Don¡¯t cry.¡± Saying that, he put his hand around my eyes. He didn¡¯t even know why I¡¯m crying, and he still comforted me. Why does he keep being nice? ¡°Put your hands away¡­¡± Acacia pulled the hand that was wiping my tears away. As tears flowed endlessly, I met the eyes that were worried about me and shook my head. His strong arms wrapped around my waist. I bowed my head on Acacia¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I¡¯d rather you die.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± If you, who reminded me of Rewan, were dead¡ªwho put me in the sense of shame¡­ I wanted him to die thrown in the mud. It was a terribly selfish thought. Acacia was silently listening to my words. That made me so angry. Why didn¡¯t he get mad with me, who was strangely angry at him? Was he just listening? Is he just silently listening to the person who treats him as an emotional trash can? This blind loyalty was a feeling similar to love, and my heart was burdened. ¡°You have no feelings? Aren¡¯t you angry?¡± ¡°¡­How dare I be angry. I am not even angry at you in the first place.¡± Acacia¡¯s trembling breath reached my neck. He was about to say something and was silent for a moment as if he had swallowed his words. I had no idea what he wanted to say. Again, he spoke slowly. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to die. I don¡¯t want you to give up on life.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°As long as you can get mad at me and get rid of that frustration, I¡¯m fine.¡± Why was he being so kind? I didn¡¯t even think of him for a single moment before¡­ However, I wouldn¡¯t act for him. Acacia released the arm that was holding me. He stared at me with eyes full of emotion. ¡°Then, rest.¡± At that, he escaped out of the room. I stared blankly at the place he had left. Those who were thinking of me, thinking of Arne, the future I had dreamed of was gone. I realized that the ending I wanted was now gone. Then, I¡­ What should I do now? It hurts. I felt suffocated. I was wandering somewhere, and when I opened the door and came out, it was a black room with nothing. Repeat. When I open the door, I see a black room. Open the door again¡­ Sometimes there was a person in a room I thought would have nothing. However, they didn¡¯t see me. I opened my eyes to the creepy energy that gradually tightened my neck. I exhaled a harsh breath. Feeling stuffy, I got up to open the tightly closed window. Leading my staggering body, I opened the window. The night sky was filled with twinkling stars. Some fell to the earth, forming tails¡­ It was a beautiful sight¡ªvivid and sparkling. I went back to bed and poured water into a teacup on the table. The hand holding the teapot trembled. The lid of the teapot tumbled to the floor. ¡ªCrash. It made a loud noise, so I picked up the pieces of the broken lid. While picking it up, sharp shards scraped off the tip of my finger, causing a wound. I grabbed the shard and held it. Sharp shards of glass created deep wounds on my fragile hands as the bright red blood dripped to the floor. Was it because of the noise? Even though it was a dark night, I heard a knock. Still, I didn¡¯t answer. My gaze was taken away by the red blood that was leaking out. I felt alive in the bitterness. I¡¯m here¡­ Again I heard a knock. Again, I didn¡¯t answer. Someone slammed the door open. There was a loud noise. ¡°¡­Arne!¡± Lepis eyes met me, who was both dripping with blood. As he took a deep breath, he gazed at me with confused eyes. We stared at each other without saying a word for a long time. ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± No one dared to open their mouths. Blood dripped down on the floor. Actually, I didn¡¯t mean to hurt myself this much¡­ When I opened my hands open and glanced down for a moment, there was a mess. Lepis pursed his lips as if he had forgotten what to say. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 45 Chapter 45 ¨C What Truth (4) ¡°¡­Ah.¡± Lepis barely spoke the first word. He staggered towards me as he couldn¡¯t hide his trembling body. He looked like he was about to cry. ¡°I¡­I was wrong.¡± What? I didn¡¯t mean to die though I gazed up at him with a blank look. Anyway, the end of this story was getting closer and closer. It was time to pretend I was going crazy. Really, do I still think this is fiction¡­? I ignored the question in my heart. At this point, I didn¡¯t know if I was pretending to be crazy or if I was really going crazy. ¡°It was, all¡­ My wrong.¡± I looked up at him ¡°The falsification of documents¡­ When the crimes that did not exist, got increased instead¡­ Forcing you. Confessing my love to you with a selfish heart¡­¡± I lowered my gaze. It wasn¡¯t his fault. ¡°I¡­ was¡­wrong.¡± He knelt before me and slowly leaned towards me as he put his head in front of me. Lepis¡¯ pure white shirt was drenched in blood as if it was corroding his despair. I stared at him without saying a word for a long time. Lepis¡¯ transparent tears wet the floor. He was crying ¡­I couldn¡¯t understand why he acted like a sinner. ¡°Why are you like this now? Ignore me, despise me, it¡¯s your specialty.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Are you feeling guilty? Or, are you sorry that you loved me now?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Are you loving me to relieve your guilt?¡± I despised Lepis¡¯ desperate apology. I thought he wasn¡¯t serious. I thought it was just an apology to win my heart¡­ This wasn¡¯t just a feeling for Lepis. All of their sincere apologies or sympathy towards me were offensive. As I glanced at the dripping blood, I lowered my head at the bitter disgust that was creeping up. Acacia¡¯s neglect was also a sin. It was also a sin to use force to destroy a country for no reason. It was also a sin for Lepis to manipulate the destruction of the Sorano Kingdom, and it was also a sin to try to kill Arne by contract. Originally, they did not apologize to Arne. Ah, maybe it was because I was the only bad person here¡­ Was I the only one who was a terrible person, so this feeling came from it? They reflected on what they did to Arne and apologized because they didn¡¯t want to apologize to her. The more I realized that this was still the case, the less I felt guilty about Arne and the stronger I felt for myself in this situation where no one knew me. ¡­Because I¡¯m a bad person. It was all in the past, it was all gone. They used to be like that¡­ Those who ignored the suffering of others. They were people similar to me in a sense, enjoying Arne¡¯s pain. However, it was humorous and ridiculous to come and apologize now. It was irritating. It felt like they were pretending to be nice, and I thought it was fake. It felt like hypocrisy. However, I couldn¡¯t face it properly or avoid it. ¡®¡­Now, when I see them apologizing, I feel like I should be sorry for them.¡¯ The relationship of being used and using was good. If they wanted to feel less guilty, I could fully use them and take advantage of them. Nonetheless, I couldn¡¯t even do anything with the sense of reality I had now. If this wasn¡¯t a story, it was my life¡­ was this the end? What would happen to me? If they acted like the people in the story, I would rather have them despise and ignore me. I¡¯d rather they only want my body and get drunk in it. Why did they feel emotions? Why were they asking me for feelings and making them feel like a person? I denied the feeling of reality. If they were selfish, if they had behaved badly, or If they had no emotions¡­ I wished they behaved overly flat like the person in the story. ¡°I¡¯d rather you get drunk whenever you want and whisper love as you like. Don¡¯t expect my truth. If you want me to be your lover, act like a sweetheart¡­¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll give you whatever you want that suits you better. Don¡¯t be pretentious. Laria Lepis.¡± Lepis, who had been silent with his lips closed, opened his. ¡°¡­No.¡± He shook his head. It was an insulting remark that aroused Lepis¡¯ anger. Yet he did not frown, grimace, or get angry. He looked at me with rather sad eyes. ¡°¡­My name is not Lepis.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It¡¯s Eris. Arne.¡± Lepis laughed lowly. ¡°I guess I am a selfish person. Even in this situation, it is annoying that the first name you call me with is not my name.¡± ¡°¡­No. That selfish look. It suits you better.¡± He took the shards of glass I had in my hands, and the shards fell on the floor. Then, Lepis grabbed my blood-soaked hand and clasped it. He wrapped his other hand around my waist. A soft breath touched my ear. ¡°¡­Please, call me by my name.¡± ¡°¡­Eris.¡± ¡°One more time.¡± ¡°Eris.¡± Lepis kissed my lips. The blonde hair that had been crumpled on the bed spread out in a mess. His words broke my heart. Even though I felt a deep sense of reality, I just accepted the reality of Lepis¡¯ circumstances, which I didn¡¯t know. If this wasn¡¯t reality, there would be no reason for me to know about him, who was just a character. My heart was broken. The broken heart was shattered and reattached again and again. This was my world. Arne¡¯s world, in which she lives and breathes, had disappeared since she gave up her life here. After she left her life to me, her world disappeared. I killed my sense of guilt towards Arne. I admitted my guilt. I acknowledged that the death of the people of the kingdom was caused by me. I also admitted that Rewan¡¯s death was my own fault. The reason they liked me was because of me in Arne¡¯s body¡­ Their favor was created by me. It was the relationship that I killed, the relationship that I made, and the world in which I became the subject. No matter how much I copied Arne¡¯s actions, it was only me who acted independently. ¡­I am no longer a stranger to this place. This was not the world in the book, the world with a fixed future. It was another world with a variety of futures that I did not know. It was a new story I made up. There was no me from the past that did not belong to this story. I¡­I am Arne. [ Arne gazed at the stars in the night sky. In the Kingdom of Sorano, the King was regarded as a star. The falling of the stars was regarded as the sublime (a word used in honor of the death of a king or a noble person). Arne looked at the shooting star and thought. She wasn¡¯t dead, but because she lost her right to be a king, the stars were falling. For a moment, she thought of death as she stood there staring out the window for a while. Climbing over the window sill, the view to the bottom seemed far away. The illusion that gave her motion sickness. The illusion that the floor is close even though she hasn¡¯t fallen yet. The cool night air passed through Arne¡¯s body. The sound of the wind blowing fiercely sounded like the screams of the people of the Kingdom of Sorano. ¡­It was as if the sound of the wind was screaming to her that she must not die, that she must not die. Her body trembled. It was not tremors that were caused by the cold. Arne came down from the window. She backed away without even thinking of closing the window. Arne sat down on the floor and only wept. Arne¡¯s death¡­ She was afraid of death in front of her eyes. Not living, not dying, no courage to die¡­ However, there was no hope of getting out of this place. Arne watched the stars fall again. It was not the King¡¯s right to lose. It was her own heart that had endured. ] Even if I realized a sense of reality and recognized what I was denying, nothing would change. I would not feel guilty about the people I had killed, and I would consider their deaths natural and fateful. What I needed to relieve my guilt would be the original story, and if I didn¡¯t need the original story to add on to my guilt, I would think of myself. If I could relieve my guilt, I would think of it as a story in a book that didn¡¯t really exist. I would lightly dismiss it as fate and move on. It wasn¡¯t something to be this complicated in the first place. This was¡­ It was only for a moment that I was confused when I saw people who genuinely yearned for me. Originally, this was the correct way. For me, it was only right for me to think only of myself. Lepis stopped by the Imperial Palace treatment room and brought bandages and medicine. Gazing at me with soft eyes, he poured medicine into my hand and wrapped a bandage around it. ¡°Don¡¯t get hurt.¡± He gently pressed his lips to my bandaged palm. ¡°I didn¡¯t forgive you. Don¡¯t get me wrong.¡± ¡°I know.¡± Lepis responded to the soft mutter. Blankly, I looked at my bandaged hand. It was terribly bitter. I was happy because this degree of pain seemed to be a measure of reality to me. ¡°When it¡¯s just the two of us, I want you to call me Eris.¡± As if I wanted to feel real and not feel guilty. I made a selfish choice. I asked for love. This was right. Lepis, who pretended to give everything for love, was awkward. I gladly accepted his choice. ¡°¡­Yes. I¡¯ll do as you want.¡± Even though I said I would do whatever he wanted, Lepis didn¡¯t release his frown. He hugged me without a word. What was he thinking? How did he look at me? I didn¡¯t know at all. He kissed my lips softly. ¡°¡­I¡¯ll just leave today.¡± ¡°Why¡­?¡± With my question, His steps came to a standstill. ¡°I¡¯m¡­a little tired¡­ I think I should go back first.¡± Lepis left the room without looking back at me. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 46 Chapter 46 ¨C What Truth (5) I woke up in the morning and saw the indelible bloodstains on the floor and took a deep breath. The blood stains were thick and red, indelible. I bled a lot more, I thought lightly. Then, I glanced at the bandage that Lepis had wrapped around. My vision flickers as I try to get up. ¡°¡­Ha.¡± My eyes were dark, and I couldn¡¯t see anything. I took a slow, deep breath and groped for the bed. I blinked, waiting for my vision to be restored again. ¡ªCreak, Step, Step. The sound of the door opening and footsteps. Who was it¡­? ¡°¡­They said you were going to die.¡± Distria¡¯s heavy sound was heard in my ears. My vision was still dark with no light yet. Not knowing where he was, I sat down. I was so dizzy that I wanted to go back to sleep. ¡°Is it because of that bastard?¡± I didn¡¯t know who the bastard Distria was talking about. I was just a little afraid. Perhaps, the bastard that he mentioned was Rwan? ¡°¡­If you kill him, you won¡¯t want to die anymore.¡± As my head was dizzy, my body tilted. I could feel Distria¡¯s tight arms, which I had become accustomed to. He patted me on the back. It was difficult for me to breathe, so my breath was caught. I opened my lips that could not open well. A bastard¡­ Bastard¡­ Maybe, it was not Rewan. ¡°Who¡­?¡± Distria¡¯s body hardened. Out of focus, the outline of his face was blurred in my vision. I couldn¡¯t imagine how he would look at me. Distria didn¡¯t seem to understand the meaning of my question. ¡°¡­.I.¡± What was he talking about? I took a deep breath. The hand that touched my cheek trembled a little. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know who it is.¡± ¡°¡­No.¡± He grabbed a handful of my hair and kissed my lips before stroking my hair with a soft hand. ¡°Before I get Rewan, I have to kill that bastard first.¡± With my properly regained vision, I could see Distria smiling coldly. I confirmed that the bastard wasn¡¯t Rewan as he ignored my dizzying protests. The next moment, I lost consciousness. I don¡¯t understand this now. The shiny, glossy blonde hair was dyed red, and the skin that had turned red was pale. My trembling hand grabbed the sword that Distria had given me. I glanced up at him. Now¡­ What was going on with this? I stared at Raphael, who was sprawled on the floor, dripping with blood, without being able to sit comfortably on the floor or even stand. I did not understand the current situation at all. Raphael looked half-dead, and I held the right to his life and death. ¡°Why, didn¡¯t you want to die because of this bastard?¡± Distria calmly patted me on my shoulder. He smoothed the bumpy floral tattoo on my shoulder. I didn¡¯t want to die in the first place¡­ I looked at Distria. He nodded as if to urge me to act. Originally, it was Rewan, not Raphael, who would die around this time. If I kill him right here and now, would Rewan escape death? As I lost my sense of reality, I had strange thoughts that didn¡¯t fit the situation. ¡­Nonsense. I heard Distria¡¯s low voice waking me from my delusion for a moment. ¡°Why? Are you afraid of killing people?¡± I was dumbfounded, unable to do anything. I never thought of Raphael¡¯s death. And so simply, this simple¡­ I never thought he would die. I loved Raphael¡¯s pleasures. I simply enjoyed having s*x with him. Distria¡¯s voice hit my ear. ¡°You didn¡¯t kill Alec either.¡± His cold voice rang in my ears and his red eyes fluttered dangerously as if he would not leave me alone unless I killed Raphael. It was a sword that was light and pretty enough to not look like it was for killing people. A pretty beaded decoration was hung from the tip of the sword¡¯s hilt. My face was reflected in the sharp blade of the sword. Unlike when I killed Alec, I had a personal feeling. I was hesitating to kill Raphael. It didn¡¯t matter that he died. I would not mourn his death¡­ but why do I hesitate to kill him so much? Raphael¡¯s lips, which appeared to have passed out, parted. I blankly waited for him to speak. ¡°¡­Haha.¡± Starting with a low smirk, he began to laugh like a madman. Only the sound of his laughter filled the torture chamber, where only the sound of dripping blood was heard. He laughed for a while and then stopped laughing as he spat out the thick blood that had pooled in his throat. ¡°Kill me.¡± Raphael sighed softly. I couldn¡¯t imagine what kind of expression the eyes covered with the blindfold were making. Distria stood far away and looked at me. He shouted again. ¡°Kill me!¡± The hanging chains shook and made a loud noise. Distria¡¯s brow furrowed slightly, and he strode towards Raphael before lightly hitting him in the stomach. ¡°¡­Kuhk!¡± Raphael seemed to have lost consciousness from the great pain, and the room got quiet again. As he had lost consciousness, he looked like a corpse lying around. Distria came to me again. His gaze shifted from the knife in my hand to the bandage. ¡°¡­Even so, now that you have slept with him. You don¡¯t want to kill him?¡± His voice lowered uncomfortably. I didn¡¯t mean to think like that¡­ It was confusing. Even though I should move, I didn¡¯t. I had to say something, but my lips didn¡¯t open. ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s not like that¡­ Is he going to die so easily?¡± There was an unrestrained sincerity mixed with the barely spoken words. Who had suffered from someone who died so easily¡­? Distria looked at me, and the corners of his eyebrows curled in an arc. ¡°Then, how do you want me to kill him?¡± I dropped the sword I was holding. A sharp rustling scratched my ears. In the room filled with silence, only the sound of blood dripping was heard again. ¡°This¡­ this is not it. I didn¡¯t want him to die like this now.¡± ¡°Then?¡± ¡°I¡­I want him to suffer more.¡± Distria¡¯s eyes were fixed on me. He directly bowed his back and grabbed the sword I had dropped. The next moment, he whispered as he held the sword back firmly in my hand. ¡°Kill him when I give you a chance.¡± ¡°¡­No.¡± He grabbed my hand with a firm grip. Bright red blood seeped through the bandage along with the excruciating pain. ¡°You still forget your situation¡­¡± He kissed my hand as my blood dripped down. Because of that, the bright red blood ran down his red lips. Distria pulled his lips away and didn¡¯t even think to wipe them. ¡°¡­It annoys me.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t give you a chance.¡± My eyes met with his intense eyes. As he encouraged the death of his beloved servant, he smiled brightly. ¡°I want to see you. Your face filled with joy as you kill others.¡± I stared at Distria¡¯s face, gleaming with madness. For a moment, I completely forgot that he was just as crazy as Raphael. I grabbed the sword and slowly approached Raphael. The fleeting moment of walking those three steps passed as slowly as eons of time. ¡°Go on. Kill him.¡± Reaching out to Raphael, I raised his head. I saw Raphael, limp, already looking like a corpse. I chewed my tongue, thinking it was a dream. It was a reality when I saw his agonizing pain. With a light clenched fist, I struck Raphael¡¯s stomach. His stretched body moved. ¡°¡­Ku-ohk.¡± He was in pain as he spat out a final groan of death, even with a low-strength attack. Gasping heavily, he has already shed so much blood that he would die without me stabbing him here and now. Still, what does it mean for me to mark his end¡­? ¡°I will kill you.¡± Standing in front of Raphael, I murmured. His frantic movements stopped. I was curious about Raphael¡¯s expression, which was covered with a red blindfold. Did he suffer? Or, would he have eyes filled with despair? Or, would he be angry¡­? It was the death of the villain. Taking other people¡¯s bodies recklessly, doing your own thing¡­ I didn¡¯t hate it, but it bothered me. That was how I drove others to the end of death. It was the death of such a person. However, it was funny that the ending was so shabby. So, who had been suffering all this time? I, too, enjoyed the pain of others. Would my end be so unappealing¡­? A sudden thought superimposed my death on him. Even if I got rid of him, the fact that I enjoyed the pain of others would not change. Others may sympathize and pity me, but I knew¡­ How ugly and selfish I am. I had no sympathy for him at all. I was just a little surprised by his unexpected death. Surprised at the thought of my death in his death¡­ That was it. ¡°¡­Therefore. Now, do you sympathize with me? A trivial death¡­ Do you take pity on me?¡± ¡°No. Not at all.¡± I stabbed Raphael in the stomach with the sword that Distria had given me. The ornament on the handle clashed and made a sound, and I gave strength to my hand and turned it around. The blade was soaked in blood. He was in pain even with a small hit, yet he did not even scream in front of death. He shook his head in a soft, low voice. ¡°¡­If that¡¯s the case, that¡¯s enough.¡± ¡°¡­What?¡± ¡°¡­You¡­ don¡¯t.¡± His blood gushed out as I pulled the knife out of his stomach. My hand holding the sword was also stained with blood. I glanced down at my hands, which became even redder with Raphael¡¯s blood and mine. I looked at the blood stains on my clothes. I couldn¡¯t tell which one was my blood and which was Raphael¡¯s. ¡°¡­sympathize¡­ with¡­ me¡­¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡­ feel¡­. like¡­ I¡­ can die¡­ when you¡­ sympathize¡­with¡­ me.¡± Raphael¡¯s voice faded. Blood soaked the floor. Even at the last moment of his death, he was conscious of my gaze. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 47 Chapter 47 ¨C What Truth (6) [ Raphael often took Arne to masquerades. When night falls, and those who have not yet reached the age of adulthood of the Carwen Empire go home, a party of their own was held. Arne didn¡¯t know that the medicine she was drinking was aphrodisiac. Feeling her body heat up, she thought she was completely crazy now. As Raphael dragged her leash, she wished he didn¡¯t know that she was getting wet underneath. She couldn¡¯t walk properly due to the rising excitement. ¡°Why are you so bad at walking?¡± Raphael, who had brought her to a deserted place in the party, asked quietly. Arne let out a silent scream. On the other side of her heart, she looked down at herself, who was wet with excitement, and thought that she would like him to f*ck her sooner. Still, she thought she was crazy. ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ Huht¡ªmind me.¡± Her body reacted to Raphael¡¯s act of holding her fingertips and kissing her lips. Arne despised herself. Had her body been tamed while being abused¡­? Her body trembled. Contrary to her heart, her lips continued to exhale hot breaths, and her body wished he had touched her more. Raphael¡¯s hand patted her thigh. The fingers that moved as they touched the flesh of the inside of her thigh reached her entrance, who was wearing only a garter belt and no underwear. ¡°Hak-ang, hnn-aaahhnngg¡­¡± She couldn¡¯t hide her embarrassment even after she let out a moan. Contempt was creeping up. What she could do for the Kingdom¡­ she was surviving for now. Even though she was being in it, she did not enjoy the feeling and did not feel it. But, what she thought of was now shattered. Raphael¡¯s fingers pounded to the depths. She rubbed her body and let out a hot breath. Her body and reason didn¡¯t listen, so she cried. However, even more, contemptuous was that she brought her body towards him to feel even a little bit more pleasure. ¡°Your body likes it so much, why are you crying?¡± He then bit the tip of her ear. Even that was lustful, ??love liquid flowed out from underneath Arne. Because of that, Raphael¡¯s gloves were wet with her love liquid. ¡°Kuht. Are you actually enjoying yourself while you say you don¡¯t like it?¡± Then, he licked the thin love liquid on his gloves with his tongue. Arne took a breath. Was it really like that? In fact, maybe it was good. Her distant reason made it impossible to properly filter out any words. Words were so powerful that even things that weren¡¯t real could be felt when you kept listening to them out of your mouth. Arne was confused. She was sad. If she was to be tamed and enjoy it like this¡­ She should have died, far from enduring this arduous ordeal and rebuilding the Kingdom to shine. She felt sad because it felt like she was putting the country to shame. The time she had endured was crumbling. It was nonsense. If she had been sane, she might have known, but now, she was drunk and not sane. Everything seemed to be her fault. Raphael unbuckled his pants. The behavior, which would have been contemptible in the first place, also felt erotic. Arne was held by Raphael at will. While there have been so many crimes, there had never been a day when she felt as good as today. There had never been a day when she was as miserable as it was good. Arne closed her eyes. Now that everything was distorted, she thought she was dreaming. ¡­Other than that, having s*x with the person who ruined the country wouldn¡¯t feel so good. Arne woke up in the morning and wept in shame. That¡­ that wasn¡¯t her. As she said that it wasn¡¯t her, she felt like she wanted to die right now. Early in the morning, Raphael came to her room. It was funny that he didn¡¯t know she was drunk on the aphrodisian and held on to him. He was glad that it seemed like he was controlling her to his own will, to his own taste. Raphael carelessly handed Arne the water with the aphrodisiac, and she drank without knowing anything. And that night, Arne hugged Raphael herself. The next night, and the next. ] [ It wasn¡¯t until some time passed that Arne found out that Raphael had given her an aphrodisiac. Her mind was already torn to shreds. Every day she repeated her death and life. Even though she thought she wanted to die, she thought of life as she was filled with pleasure. It was funny¡­ To think of life as pleasure. That the person who abused her recklessly made her want to live. It was amusing. Her dry heart was pounding. There was no time to close the gap. Arne couldn¡¯t contain her anger. The thought of taking the aphrodisiac felt like a sin. She wanted to cry, but she couldn¡¯t. ¡­She didn¡¯t deserve to cry. Arne slapped Raphael on the cheek. Once, twice. She repeated the beating until her anger was released while he was silently receiving the beating. No matter how much she hit him, her anger didn¡¯t go away. She stopped beating when she got out of breath. It was so sad that she couldn¡¯t hit him anymore. It was sad that she could only release her anger like this. It was sad that she could release her anger like this because he allowed her to. Raphael laughed. ¡°¡­Are you done?¡± Arne took a step back from the horrified feeling. Raphael caught her and laid her down. He then shoved his p*nis into the stiff anal that had never been entered without any warning. ¡°Khhuk¡­!¡± Great pain swept over her. Meanwhile, Raphael didn¡¯t know if Arne was hurt or not. Rather, it was nice to see her gasping for breath in the suffocating pain. The tightening feeling felt good, and he patted her chest and fondled it. ¡°Your ass is delicious. Yes, here, if I tame it as mine, it will turn into a nice shape of my cock, right?¡± A batting sound filled the room. She couldn¡¯t even get angry. Even in this situation, love liquid flowed from her bottom that had been tamed by the aphrodisiac. Arne couldn¡¯t hide her misery. Her heart ached more than her bruised hands and her rough, swaying body. He was a wicked man. He was a ruthless man. ¡­Taken her country, taken her sanity. Taken her body, too. Arne let go of her fading spirit because it hurts so much. In her sanity, she couldn¡¯t stand it. ] It was too shabby to be called the end of such a ruthless person. I threw the sword at random. Blood splattered with the sound of the clatter. ¡°¡­Why do you look like that?¡± Distria grabbed my chin. I faced him that had a dissatisfied face. I didn¡¯t even know what expression I was making now. Was I suffering? Or was I being expressionless? I didn¡¯t even know. ¡°You killed someone you didn¡¯t like, so why aren¡¯t you happier?¡± ¡°¡­Do you think I will do whatever you want?¡± ¡°¡­The day I brought Rewan. I can¡¯t wait to see if you can say the same thing in front of me.¡± I didn¡¯t say anything to him. Even though I was aware of the reality and didn¡¯t know what kind of feelings I would have for him when I met him again, I was surprised that his words didn¡¯t make any sense to me. A person who loved him and lost my reason because I could not control my love until just a few days ago¡­ I didn¡¯t feel any emotions at Distria¡¯s words. Or, maybe it was such a shocking word that I couldn¡¯t even think of anything. No¡­ I don¡¯t think that was it. It was because I¡¯m a selfish person¡­ because I know I wouldn¡¯t dream of a love that wouldn¡¯t come true. It seemed that I could not feel the feelings of love for Rewan, whom I would probably meet again. For me, love was something that was immutable and unchanging. How would he react if I canceled the order I asked Acacia to help me find Rewan? Would he be happy with what I am doing? Or, would he worry about me? ¡°¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡± Acacia looked at my hand covered in white bandages and opened his mouth. It was an apology of unknown origin. What was the apology about? What did I want to die for? That was their misunderstanding. I just stared at the procession of mourners lining up in front of me without saying a word. The Imperial Palace was busy with Raphael¡¯s funeral. I couldn¡¯t understand Distria¡¯s intentions to send a pretty grand burial of the person I killed. He also ordered me to attend the funeral. ¡°What the hell.¡± Wearing a black robe, I picked up a white flower and placed it on the coffin. I continued to tell myself that I had killed Raphael. ¡°¡­Excuse me for a moment.¡± Acacia, who had been by my side, left the place with a pale face. As soon as he left, Lepis, whom I did not know where he was, came up to me. Inside the funeral hall, there was no one who truly paid tribute to Raphael. Like wicked him, the one who cried for him was also the same. I just attended the funeral under Distria¡¯s order without saying a word. Raphael¡¯s funeral was nothing more, nothing less. At this point, it was crowded with people trying to connect with high-level executives. This funeral home was not a place of remembrance. ¡°I killed him.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± I muttered softly to Lepis, who was standing by my side. People were walking around. When a high-ranking person came, he bowed his head. Lepis stood there without a word. People dressed in black and white roamed around in a mess. He gently grabbed my fingertips. Lepis, who was gently rubbing my palm, clasped and grabbed my hand as I opened it due to the itching. At the same time, Distria¡¯s eyes followed me tenaciously, so I acted naturally. Lepis was so drunk with this present sweetness that he didn¡¯t even know that Distria was looking at him. ¡­Foolish. Love is a slow emotion that makes you get drunk in it easily¡­ Once you fall for it, there is no answer. I didn¡¯t even know how to get out. Just like me, who fell for Rewan and lost my mind. He looked like me. ¡°Raphael was originally meant to die.¡± Lepis muttered softly. For a moment, I didn¡¯t understand what he was saying, so I blinked my eyes. It was noisy around, but in the meantime, there was silence between us. I glanced up at him. Why did he say Raphael was going to die? I didn¡¯t know why he was so certain. ¡°¡­Why?¡± ¡°The proposal to deal with Raphael¡­ I passed it at the nobility council.¡± Lepis raised my clasped hands, and he kissed the back of my hand. As he kissed his lips long on it and then lifted his head, I peered to the side where the Distria was. That moment, the moment Lepis looked towards Distria, it t felt so pretentious. Lepis slowly turned and looked at me. ¡°However, I did not know that the Emperor would listen so easily.¡± I couldn¡¯t believe that I didn¡¯t know. I remembered the bastard whom the Emperor had muttered in anger. And Lepis, who saw me bleeding that night. However, I didn¡¯t know that Lepis loved me enough to even do that¡­ enough to be on the verge of death. I know that he loved me enough to do it when he said he would die if I wanted to. Lepis tightened his hand that was holding my hand. He whispered softly. ¡°¡­My life is now in your hands.¡± He wasn¡¯t a foolish man drunk in sweetness. He was just a man in love. ¡°¡­Yes.¡± The deep love in his purple eyes. A love that would never hesitate to die. It was creepy. __ Thank you so much for always supporting the novels I work on, even if you don¡¯t buy me a coffee, I really do appreciate it a lot. Chapter 48 Chapter 48 ¨C What Truth (END) ¡°So, how do you feel?¡± Distria, who was soaking in a bathtub filled with steaming hot water, gazed at me with languid eyes. As he raised his hand and gently stroked my cheek, the sound of splashing water was heard. His wet fingers that had been touching my cheeks came into my mouth. ¡°¡­Answer.¡± He took his hand through my mouth. When he grabbed my bandaged hand, Distria pulled me into the bathtub with a strong force. The water sloshed and overflowed. Because the thin silk dress was wet and stuck to my body, his intense gaze turned to my body. The next moment, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into him. His p*nis, felt by my buttocks, was already standing. I whispered low. ¡°¡­It¡¯s nothing. It doesn¡¯t matter¡­ at all.¡± Running through my hair with his wet hands, I was met with red eyes gleaming with displeasure. He seemed to want me to be happy with this situation. He kissed my lips and tightened the grip on my hand that hurt. The more the bandage got wet, the more it hurt. Besides, the water was too hot as well. ¡°Why?¡± Distria asked me. He traced my shoulder with his lips. His tongue, which ran down my neck, ran down my collarbone and to the chest, placing the erectg n*pples in his mouth. A thrilling sensation ran down my back. The next moment, he stroked my back. ¡°Huht. That¡­¡± His finger touched the entrance. As if waiting for my answer, he slowly put his finger in it. ¡°¡­I, too¡ªHaa¡­ ha.¡± His fingers, about halfway in, soon wriggled inside. I cleared my rough breathing and continued my words slowly again. ¡°¡­don¡¯t know.¡± Distria¡¯s fingers poked deep. Every time he went back and forth, I could feel the water filling up and escaping from below along with the sound of splashing water. Every time his movements intensified, the surface of the water shook. ¡°Hu-uht¡­¡± In the hot water, I was dizzy because my fever was rising with excitement. Distria pulled his fingers out of my insides. The slippery liquid of love splattered from his fingers along with the water. Even after being washed in the swaying water, he put the slimy liquid into his mouth. ¡°You¡¯re obscene.¡± His hard p*nis touched my stomach. As he grabbed my waist and lifted me up, he put my entrance to his penis and pierced the inside at once, I bit my lip with intense pleasure. ¡°Ahk¡­!¡± I placed my hand on Distria¡¯s shoulder. He grabbed my waist and moved me. With each movement, the water escapes and comes in, filling the interior more. I gasped in excitement. The full-length mirror that filled the walls of the bathroom reflected the naked image of me having s*x with him. Wow, that¡¯s sexy. The rattling sound filled the bathtub. The water overflowed from the movement, and the water level gradually decreased. The sound of my breathing hit the wall and came back. Distria¡¯s hot breath tickled my neck as his strange eyes touched me. ¡°Today¡­ The reason you are obedient is because I let you kill him.¡± It was not really like that. Still, I didn¡¯t want to explain his misunderstanding. He hugged me and lifted me up, with his body still connected to me. He strode into the bedroom while carrying me in a hug. As he got out of the bathtub, the cold air hit my body. He laid me down on the bed and moved again. Distria stared down at me, gasping for breath with excitement. With the sheets moistened and soaked in water, he muttered softly. ¡°¡­No. You seem to have no thoughts.¡± Distria¡¯s hot hand gently touched my neck. He soon descended on the breastbone and drew a circle over my stomach. I watched his actions with blank eyes. When he grabbed my chest, I let out a short sigh. Biting a mouthful of my chest, he violently increased the speed of his pistoning. A popping sound filled the room. He gazed down at me with a look of dissatisfaction while his long fingers caressed my cheek and covered my eyes. His voice, as if suppressing anger, hit my ear. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me with those eyes.¡± What kind of eyes did I have? My eyes twitched in the dark vision that was covered with his palms, and couldn¡¯t see anything. Distria lowered the speed of his movement. He slowly pushed himself in, then pulled it out again. The sound of his low, rough breathing reached the corner of my throat. ¡°¡­I will not let you go.¡± He let out a breath as he moved quickly again. I was stabbed where I felt the most. I lay under Distria and struggled to hold back my moans. His hard, hot, thick p*nis ripped me open. The place it touched was hot. ¡°Ahk¡­ ah!¡± The bed wobbled. A sharp sound of flesh mixing was heard. Distria, who had removed his palm, kissed me deeply. A light shone over my eyes that had become accustomed to the darkness. I frowned. ¡°It is up to me to decide whether you live or die.¡± ¡°Huht¡­ Ha.¡± ¡°Then, don¡¯t think about dying. My dear Arne.¡± What kind of expression he was making? Nothing could be seen in the shimmering vision. It was a deep night. That day, for some reason, I couldn¡¯t sleep, so I quietly looked at the stars. I swung my feet back and forth. The door opened with a creaking sound. The only people who came in without knocking were Raphael and Distria. Raphael¡¯s funeral was held though the fact that he was dead was forgotten by me for a moment. I had no doubt that it was him. After all, he was the only one who came late at night. When I turned my head, a strong force laid me on the bed. Then, I heard the sound of pants getting hastily unbuckled. ¡°¡­.?¡± The unfamiliar eyes gleamed horribly. ¡­Oh right, he was dead. It was the first time I saw these eyes. Ah, surrounded by great people, I forgot who it was originally. I opened my mouth, contemplating whether to scream or what to do. The stranger covered my mouth with one hand. ¡°¡­Do you know how much I thought of you?¡± The silly words stuck in my ears. It was an unfamiliar voice. His rough hands gripped my chest. Below, the hard p*nis pierced my thigh. A fever rose. I wish they had given me more insulting remarks. The man¡¯s hand on my chin grew stronger. He rolled up my skirt with his hand touching my chest as he forcefully spread my legs apart. I rolled my eyes furiously. I was concerned about the open door. In particular, it didn¡¯t matter that I was showing the s*x scene to others. However, recently, Acacia and Lepis were taking turns guarding the front door. Oh, his genitals filled my inside at once. The sound of the man¡¯s things coming and going and the rough breathing echoed through the room. The bottom, which was originally wet, increased the amount of love liquid due to his pistoning. ¡°Are you welcoming me having a wet bottom? It¡¯s obscene.¡± __ Chapter 49 Chapter 49 ¨C Justification and Betrayal (1) The man then put the hem of my dress in my mouth. He knelt down on his knees, lifted my waist slightly, and shoved himself deep inside. My body trembled at the intense stimulation. Having shoved his p*nis here and there a few times, he quickly found the sensitive area. ¡°Kuht¡­ Did you actually want men to come and warm your bed?¡± His pistoning speed increased. I was gradually engulfed in a sense of climax. As he grabbed both of my legs and spread them apart before putting my legs against his ears, the bumping stimulus intensified. My body trembled with excitement. I wish he would f*ck me a little harder. Even though my legs were pulled in an uncomfortable position, the pain was also pleasure. ¡°You b*tch. You like it so much it¡¯s so tight¡­¡± The sound of footsteps could be heard in the distance. I hoped it wasn¡¯t Lepis or Acacia because they won¡¯t stand still when they see me being f*cked. As I seemed to be reaching my climax soon, the man¡¯s movement also accelerated. The familiar pink hair appeared through the gap in the door. I met the black eyes. Even though the door opened with a creaking sound, the man slumping above me was excited and didn¡¯t even know who had come. Acacia¡¯s eyes turned cold. I knew those eyes. Those were the eyes that killed people¡­ there were no emotions in them. I closed my eyes at the horrifying sight that was soon to come, and my heart raced with tension. ¡ªFlap. Acacia¡¯s cloak was draped over my face. In an instant, my vision turned black. Something hot and damp fell on my body, and the smell of blood permeated the room the next moment. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t look.¡± Soon after, the man¡¯s body who was connected to me, fell out. There was a dull sound and the sound of something being pulled before the door closed with a creaking sound. After a while, I heard the door open again. ¡°¡­Take a nap. What happened today is a¡­ dream¡± The low-pitched, soft voice that did not fit the situation went to my ears. He gently wiped my thighs and stomach with a wet towel. For a moment, I had a thought¡­ ¡­Maybe, Acacia was crazy too. Without knowing what kind of nobleman that man was, he killed people without any hesitation just because he violated me. What if the Emperor was above me? Would he also kill Distria? I took a breath. The hand that had held Acacia¡¯s collar trembled. At that time, Acacia, who had sworn allegiance in the ways of a ruined kingdom under my feet, which had now become a dim memory, came to mind. I remembered him, who was worried about me, and I remembered Acacia hearing my order to kill someone. I remembered reciting his death. The smell of blood faded. At the same time, my consciousness faded. I woke up from my sleep, sensing a presence. The room was so neat that I thought it was a dream that someone had died yesterday. My clothes had also been changed. In addition, the room was filled with the fragrant smell of flowers, not the smell of blood. I glanced around the room to find the source of the scent of flowers. I could see Acacia putting flowers in a flowerpot. He looked at me after hearing a slight rustling sound. ¡°¡­Did you wake up?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I answered his question dryly. My attention was drawn to the flower he was holding. It was the first time I¡¯d seen stems that were pink instead of green. It was special. The pink calyx was purple around it, and the color gradually faded above it before it finally turned white. Acacia carefully inserted the last flower so that the petals would not be disturbed. The small vase was filled with seven flowers. I got up and slowly walked towards Acacia. Because of last night, the silence was rather awkward, and he only stared at the vase. It went well with his hair color¡ªjust like the flower that bloomed for him. ¡°The flowers are pretty. What is the flower language?¡± ¡°¡­This is a flower called Abras.¡± He smiled sadly. ¡°The flower language is ¡®atonement¡¯.¡± He then took the dagger from his waist and held it in my hand. It was a simple and undecorated dagger. The black scabbard on the dark black handle was like the color of his eyes. I took the knife out of its sheath. ¡­What did it mean to give me a knife? Did he want me to kill him right now? I asked him. ¡°¡­Why are you giving this to me?¡± ¡°If anyone takes you in any way, stab him.¡± ¡°¡­Even the Emperor?¡± ¡°Yes, anyone. Kill them.¡± Acacia grabbed my hand, holding the dagger. Then, he put the tip of the knife on his neck. Despite its weak power, the well-maintained blade wounded his neck. Blood was dripping from the open cut. ¡°Stab it here.¡± The area he taught was where the aorta flows. He was showing me a part where I could kill a person with a little force. Acacia, who was pointing at the aorta, changed the direction of the knife. He was now pointed to his throat. Letting go of the hand holding me, he had his eyes closed as if I could kill him now. I dropped the knife, which I was holding, without realizing it because the angle was in a way that it would pierce him even with a little force. ¡°¡­You want to kill me?¡± ¡°No. Not now.¡± I cut off Acacia¡¯s words in a hurry. Somehow, my hands trembled. I think I claimed his death. My hands were trembling. ¡°¡­I still need you.¡± ¡°Is that so¡­¡± Acacia picked up the knife I dropped before holding it firmly in my hand. ¡°¡­All those you will kill in the future are those I have killed.¡± ¡°¡­Yes.¡± ¡°But, don¡¯t hurt yourself.¡± I didn¡¯t know why he was acting like a sinner to me. He was more worried about me than the blade that was about to kill him. ¡°¡­And, when I¡¯m useless, stab me with that knife.¡± I wanted to tell Acacia not to die. However, now that I was here, it didn¡¯t feel like it was happening so I couldn¡¯t even open my mouth. It was his death that I recklessly said¡­ I hate him for causing confusion over confusion, and I hate him for being kind, so I put his death in my mouth. It was my will and my fault. It was his behavior and his future that changed because of me. Still, the fact that Acacia might die because of my actions and that his fate had changed gave me a certain upliftment. I wanted to be in their lives. Just as they inhabited me and made me feel a sense of reality, the person called ¡®me¡¯ wanted to live this time. Not Arne, but me. It was a selfish heart. Even so, I did not want Acacia to die. Without a word, I fiddled with the knife he had handed me. The scent of flowers was no longer felt with the blood flowing from Acacia¡¯s neck. It was a foul smell of blood. I¡¯d never felt so intensely when I killed someone. Perhaps, it was because I recognized Acacia as a person, not a character in the book. My hand trembled. I think he was going to die because of me. It was funny that I, who had killed people casually, trembled with just a small wound. I lifted my hand and placed it on his bleeding neck. It was a faint scar that would soon disappear anyway. ¡°It is a wound that will heal quickly. Never mind.¡± Acacia gently grabbed my hand. He wiped my blood-stained hands with his own clothes. ¡°You can be a little harsher on me.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about me.¡± The next moment, he pressed his lips to the back of my hand. ¡°You deserve it.¡± Acacia gazed at me with soft eyes. ¡°So, don¡¯t worry about this wound. Arne.¡± __ Chapter 50 Chapter 50 ¨C Justification and Betrayal (2) ¡ùNote: This is another POV-version of chapter 46! Distria pressed down on Acacia¡¯s healing wounds. He raised his fingertips and pressed against the delicate part, and squeezed it. He could see the aching pain and the blood flowing. Distria¡¯s dry gaze reached Acacia. His lips opened. ¡°I don¡¯t like that there are things I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Say it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ What do you mean?¡± Acacia¡¯s calm gaze collided with Distria¡¯s gaze. Distria smiled brightly. He covered his eyes with one hand. The moment he lowered his hand, Distria¡¯s eyes became ferocious. In a lower voice that contained anger, he questioned Acacia. ¡°What have you been doing?¡± ¡°¡­¡­ taking a walk.¡± ¡ªCRASH Distria lifted the bottle of wine and struck Acacia on the shoulder. It happened in an instant. Remnants of the wine bottle splashed on the floor. Red liquid poured down his shoulder. Whether it was blood or wine, it was unknown. Acacia looked down at his right shoulder, studded with glass. Acacia tightened his arms, clenching and opening his fists repeatedly. He felt his tendons tighten and stopped his action. ¡°¡­¡­ That¡¯s all I did.¡± ¡°You make me look like an idiot.¡± Distria scoffed. He grabbed Acacia¡¯s neck. He gave more force and knocked Acacia down. Pieces of broken bottles were lodged behind Acacia¡¯s back. Acacia could not feel much agitation in the great pain. Acacia was just worried. What will happen if Distria finds out that he is, entirely, helping Arne? Quite a long time has passed. Acacia did not open his lips. Feeling the blood draining out of his body, Acacia thought of death. Even before his death, he worried about Arne. Acacia knew he could defeat Distria. He knew he could pick up the broken shards that had fallen to the floor and kill Distria in one breath. He knew, but he didn¡¯t do it. He didn¡¯t know why either. Why won¡¯t he? ¡°¡­¡­ That¡¯s all.¡± Acacia sighed softly. No expression or emotion. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Distria let him go. He looked at Acacia with ferocious eyes and brushed his hair once. ¡°I¡¯ll keep an eye on you.¡± Distria came out of the room. Acacia got up and tried to treat his wounds, accustomed to it. He looked in the mirror and pulled out the shards that had been lodged in his back. Blood was dripping. The metallic smell he was used to now did not feel like the smell of blood. It smells so normal. The smell of his own blood and the wounds were fine. Acacia was troubled. Is this the right thing to do? Was it the right thing to do not to send Arne even though it was possible? It was already over. Acacia closed his eyes. He didn¡¯t let her go, his greed. He acted out of his own selfishness. Everything that would happen as a result was a part of the small price he had to bear. It didn¡¯t matter if it was Distria¡¯s abusive language and violence. He could handle anything, as long as she wouldn¡¯t get any problems. This was not Arne¡¯s though. All of them are just his self-consolation. Acacia mocked himself. It was all my selfishness. Distria felt a strange displeasure in his emotions. It didn¡¯t matter who Arne slept with. He didn¡¯t care if she was assaulted. But why do her having sex with Raphael feel so unpleasant now? Because he lost control of his toy and was about to die? He heard that Lepis had prevented Arne from dying. He was silent for a moment. For some reason, he should have been engulfed in rage. After quite a while, he could barely open his mouth. ¡°¡­¡­ really?¡± He looked inside the nobility council. It was about killing Raphael, who lowered the nobles¡¯ level. Distria cherished Raphael. He was the one Distria had chosen, and he was instrumental in making Distria emperor. But apart from all those things, he was angry with Raphael. ¡°It¡¯s like you want me to kill him.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ I always asked.¡± Distria knew that when Lepis posted the report, he didn¡¯t say anything other than the content of the meeting. He knew that Lepis was trying to use this to deal with Raphael. Distria wasn¡¯t offended by what he would have been originally offended by. Distria closed his eyes. ¡°¡­¡­ I¡¯ll think about it.¡± Distria handed the report to Lepis. Lepis left the room. He closed his eyes. He wanted to kill Raphael. It was an irrational thought that came to him in a moment. Distria stood up. He made his way to Arne¡¯s room. Arne¡¯s room was filled with the smell of blood. The unpleasant pungent smell tickled Distria¡¯s nose. The floor was still stained with blood that had not yet been erased. Lepis was neat and clean. Distria knew that Lepis had not cleaned the room properly to provoke him. He knew he was playing on the board Lepis had set. But that fact was not offensive to him. ¡°¡­¡­ They said you were going to die.¡± He didn¡¯t even know why. The sight of blood splattered, which should have been familiar, felt horrifying today and was unpleasant. It was annoying. He wanted to wipe the blood from the floor. Arne¡¯s hazy pupils reached Distria. He breathed in for a moment. A strange, bizarre, strange feeling engulfed his body. ¡°Is it because of that bastard?¡± Distria was furious at the messed up state he had expected. ¡°¡­¡­ If you kill him, you won¡¯t want to die anymore.¡± Arne¡¯s body tilted. His heart sank, and the anger and any emotion subsided. He held her firmly. He caressed her trembling back. At the sound of Arne¡¯s rough breathing, Distria felt a strange emotion. It wasn¡¯t sexual excitement. Just, strangely, one side of his heart ached. He didn¡¯t know that feeling. Arne¡¯s lips parted. Distria slowly waited for her to speak. ¡°Who¡­¡­ ?¡± He hoped that Arne would be ruined. He hoped she fell into the abyss. He had the same crown as him, but he didn¡¯t like her looking good. He was crushed, torn and tattered, and he has nothing of light. He didn¡¯t like the way she opened her eyes to weak hopes and chased it. However, he didn¡¯t want her to forget him. It would be absurd for her to forget him after enduring the ordeal he gave her. Distria barely opened his lips. This is a hate-filled emotion. Because if not, there¡¯s no way he can be so angry about something that doesn¡¯t matter. ¡°¡­¡­ I.¡± Distria took a deep breath. ¡°¡­¡­ I don¡¯t know who it is.¡± If the brief moment before Arne¡¯s mouth opens feels like an eons of time, was he finally crazy? ¡°¡­¡­ no.¡± Distria was relieved. He had no idea what was so reassuring. Why, he liked that Arne didn¡¯t forget him. Why didn¡¯t he like Arne¡¯s expression that fell into the abyss? He didn¡¯t know. Distria muttered softly. ¡°Before I get Rewan, I have to kill that bastard first.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ under.¡± Raphael smiled sadly. He didn¡¯t understand the situation now. He looked at the sword that pierced his abdomen and laughed outrageously. The ridiculousness was stronger than the throbbing pain in his stomach. Raphael knew he was going to die someday. However, he did not know that Distria would kill him himself. Originally, Distra didn¡¯t use his own sword when he killed someone. However, he stabbed Raphael proudly. Is it because he is of low status? Even in the face of death, Raphael was mocking himself in thoughts of his status. He thought that it would be easier for him to get out of it by death if he couldn¡¯t get out of it until he died anyway. ¡°¡­¡­ Why¡­.¡± He forced his lips to open. His speech was blurred at the sight of having to raise his words to those who killed him. It was habitual behavior. Until the very end, even at the very last moment when Distria killed him, Raphael was a loser. Distria¡¯s lips parted. ¡°Just.¡± Distria looked at Raphael with indifferent eyes. Raphael¡¯s form collapsed. Raphael was not particularly shocked by his words. Raphael thought he was dead anyway. He was not alive just because he was breathing. Because he wanted to live happily. He thought that living was not living. Distria drew the sword that pierced Raphael¡¯s abdomen. The red blood was dripping down. Like nothing. He had been by Distria¡¯s side for several years, and he was the one who went through the brink of death like Distria. But nothing happened. The red blood soaked his hands. Distria lightly wiped the blood. ¡°Send him to the torture chamber.¡± It was just blood, unpleasant and thick. Why is it okay now? He didn¡¯t know. He looked at the blood splattered on the floor. He looked at his blood-soaked hands. It didn¡¯t matter. Distria was enveloped in an unknown strangeness. Distria didn¡¯t really like uncontrollable emotions, things he didn¡¯t know the cause of. He killed everything that evoked those feelings. For example, the person who gave birth to him, the siblings who were born by using another stomach, or his real siblings. He should have killed Arne too. But he didn¡¯t want to. Even then, he didn¡¯t like Arne who confuses him like this. Having washed his body and changed his clothes, he knocked on Arne¡¯s door. He grabbed Arne¡¯s arm as she looked at him with a curious look. ¡°Go.¡± Distria lips¡¯ were raised in a smile. He couldn¡¯t hold back his laughter. She saw Raphael¡¯s figure facing death. How will she react? Will she laugh? Will she be afraid? Or will she be sad? It would be nice if she was happy. He wants her to show an inhuman side that rejoices even when she kills others¡­¡­. In conclusion, Arne was neither happy nor sad. She wasn¡¯t even indifferent. She just stared at him with an unknown look. In that instantaneous moment, in that expression of nothing, or perhaps an expression of sympathy. He felt his already dry, crackling heart split. Distria killed a lot of people. However, he never once had sympathy for the dying. At the end, Distria kept thinking of Arne¡¯s eyes looking at him. He couldn¡¯t forget it. It was annoying. Why does she keep bothering him? Distria laughed coldly. __ Chapter 51.1 Chapter 51 ¨C Justification and Betrayal (END) After Raphael¡¯s death, the atmosphere in the Imperial Palace was gloomy. They were murmurs though they thought that Raphael had died because Distria was crazy about a woman. It was said that he was crazy at Arne and could not forgive Raphael, who drove her almost to her death. At first, no one believed it. It was unimaginable for him, who was so cold-hearted, to be so hung up with a woman. However, with fairly specific and detailed words, they gradually began to believe the rumors because it was actually true, and there was nothing that could be called a lie. The nobles talked about Raphael¡¯s death every now and then. Regardless of his abilities, originally, he was someone who could not even step on the entrance to the Imperial Palace with his lowly status so they all wanted his death. At first, they were delighted to have dealt with Raphael, who was of filthy status. They thought it was an act to correct the discipline of the Imperial Palace, and they liked it. However, then the exiled woman¡­ If it was because of her, it was a different story. ¡®Woman,¡¯ that woman. The spoils of wars¡­ It was absurd that a nobleman would die because of a person less than livestock. It meant that if they killed a noble with the highest ranks for such a trivial reason, they could easily die as well. Distria gazed at the empty seats and said softly. He clasped his chin with one hand before tapping his desk with the other. ¡°It seems like everyone is relaxed these days.¡± Cartal, Carwen Empire¡¯s nobles meeting, held once every two months for a week. If the circumstances were not favorable, they would admit their absence for public reasons. However, in the Cartal that Distria opened, the basic requirement itself was to attend. A penalty was applied in any way to those who did not come. Some have lost their lives for three non-attendances, some have broken legs, and others have been barred from entering politics. Distria valued their presence in Cartal because he thought that the reason there was nobility was because of Cartal. There were two vacancies. One place was Raphael¡¯s, and the other was the seat of a local nobleman. Distria swept the desk in the empty seat next to him. As he put a white flower, a flower to commemorate death, there was no one in the hall who did not know that Distria himself had killed Raphael. Only the sound of swallowing filled the silent conference hall. ¡°¡­Let¡¯s start the meeting.¡± Lepis¡¯ voice resounded in the conference hall, where there was a chilly silence. He stood in front of a large board with well-organized papers. It was too thin to be considered a collection of various reports such as proposals and petitions from nobles received over the course of two months while ruling a large country. Distria clenched his chin and glanced at the thin paper. One page after another. Every time he passed each page, Distria frowned. It wasn¡¯t very poignant. He almost ran out of paper though there wasn¡¯t a single good thing on the agenda. In addition, the contents of the reports of the autonomous nobles were also sloppy. The last, Lepis¡¯ voice as he read the last page of the paper trembled a little. Distria stared at him with a dubious look. ¡°There is a story about the Imperial Palace being disturbed by the exiled woman Your Majesty took.¡± Until the end¡­ nonsensical stories. Distria¡¯s expression turned cold. Usually, during the meeting, they would discuss the national agenda for eight hours a day. However, the meeting showed signs of coming to an end less than four hours after it started. He smashed the desk. ¡°Is this what you call a meeting?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Did you put this out as an agenda?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°A meeting at this level is called Cartal.¡± The hall fell into silence. Distria snatched the meeting materials Lepis was holding. Glancing back at the meeting members once again, he randomly scattered papers on the floor. ¡°¡­Haa.¡± He glared at the nobles with cold eyes. Papers that had been carefully written by hand sprawled on the floor. ¡°If you come back to Cartal tomorrow with such content¡­.¡± Distria stood up. He walked to the center and trampled the paper before continuing his words. ¡°¡­Your position.¡± He looked around the conference hall and smiled coldly. ¡°Think about it again.¡± After that, he left the conference hall without hesitation. Those things get paid by people¡¯s taxes. In his mind, he wanted to cut them all off. It made him want to spit out everything he ate. Distria unbuttoned his shirt, which was squeezing his neck. Lepis half-stopped his work and peered at the messed-up place. Distria raised his hand and tried to deal with one of the nobles who habitually did not come to Cartal. However, Arne¡¯s face, who had killed Raphael, suddenly came to mind, and he put his hand down. He closed his eyes and gently pressed his temples. What was it? Nothing worked, nothing. He mocked himself. ¡­Just because of this place. Just because of these people¡­ It made him angry that he was under so much stress. Acacia used the power of his family, whom he hated, to find Rewan. It seemed that he still hadn¡¯t left the capital and was staying near the Imperial Palace. Nonetheless, he wanted Rewan not to wander around the Imperial Palace. He wished Rewan had gone far away from this place. As Lepis wants him to die. Acacia also wished that Rewan and Arne would never see each other again. He thought if Rewan wasn¡¯t going to leave this place, he¡¯d rather be dead. It was a selfish thought. It was a foolish thought. Acacia scorned himself, disillusioned with his own selfishness. Even then, he rationalized his own selfish thoughts. He had been holding his breath, killing his emotions, and living as someone¡¯s dog, so it was okay that he thought this much now. It was a wish that would never come true. He wouldn¡¯t kill Rewan or let him die. Acacia informed those seeking Rewan contradicting information that he had received. He hindered those who wanted to find him. He cleverly hid Rewab so that he did not get noticed. Looking up at the darkening sky, his mood was shaky. He hoped Rewan and Arne would never meet. Nonetheless, it wasn¡¯t due to his love for Arne. As he looked at her, he felt the wondrous heart first rather than the trembling of pounding love. It was not a tremor that was caused by affection. Not only that she uphold her beliefs, but she was also so shiny, so brilliant, so amazing¡­ When he looked at her, he thoughtlessly wanted to put his head on the floor and put his lips against the top of her feet. This was not love. ¡­It was a feeling other than love. His own desire, which he originally wanted, was not to this extent. Still, that night¡­ that night she didn¡¯t leave. Acacia felt that he was a human being, filled with joy and intense emotions. He became Distria¡¯s sword, and he considered himself a beast, not a human. He gave up being human. __ Chapter 51.2 Chapter 51 ¨C Justification and Betrayal (END) He destroyed Arne¡¯s country and ruined her life. Still, she allowed him to live as a human even though he was such a ruthless person. That day, Acacia could not concentrate on his work. In his nearby mansion, he slept a little before returning to the Imperial Palace, which was why was a little later than the time he was supposed to go. As he walked towards Arne¡¯s door, a harsh, passionate breathing could be heard in Acacia¡¯s ears. The sound got louder as he got closer to Arne¡¯s room. His heart was beating slightly anxiously and reduced his presence. Through the gap in the doorway, he could see someone moving on Arne. His vision flashed white. Who was above her was never a thing to consider at all. He took off his coat and covered Arne¡¯s eyes. Holding the sword, he grabbed the falling neck with one hand and supported the leaning body with the other. As the smell of blood brushed the tip of his nose, Acacia came to his senses in an instant. What did he just do now? He wanted to think it was not the Emperor whom he had killed. He was afraid. The smell of blood vibrating in the room made him unable to calm down. He swung his sword without thinking¡­ No, the sword was swung without even time to think, as if he had lost control. It was nothing different from a beast, wasn¡¯t it? Acacia mocked himself. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t look.¡± He moved his limp legs. He opened his closed eyes. He looked at the one he had killed. It was time to face reality. Fortunately, it was not the Emperor whom he killed. Acacia sneered at himself in his own thoughts. He killed people without thinking yet felt relieved that the one killed was not the Emperor. He was still a beast. Still, looking at Arne, who was holding his collar and trembling, he didn¡¯t think it was a bad thing. ¡­He was rude, ugly and selfish, so how could he possibly stand by her side? Acacia thought he deserved death, so he wanted to die at her hands. Because he was the one who ended her life, he thought he deserved death at her hands¡­ even that was his own selfishness. He gave Arne the sword. Thinking of his imminent death, he wasn¡¯t afraid. When nothing happened, Acacia was both happy and sad. ¡°I will change the Emperor.¡± Late in the evening, Lepis, who came to Acacia¡¯s room, said. He thought he had misheard Lepis for a moment and went silent as his reason was paralyzed. Acacia rested one hand on his forehead. ¡°¡­What do you mean by telling me that?¡± ¡°As you are a servant of Arne, I thought you would cooperate unconditionally.¡± Lepis looked at his face. He inhaled his breath for a moment and asked Acacia. ¡°¡­Is it not?¡± He could not imagine Distria not being the Emperor. Acacia did not, and he had never even imagined his death. Was Distria the right image for the emperor? That wasn¡¯t it. Even so, why couldn¡¯t he easily join in Lepis¡¯ words that he wanted to change the emperor? Why didn¡¯t he feel weird? He was confused. ¡°¡­Wait, wait a minute.¡± Acacia¡¯s heart pounded. The room was enveloped in suffocating silence. If he was for Arne. It was befitting to kill the Emperor, Distria. He had the power to kill the Emperor at any time, and he was one who could kill at any time¡­ Though he never thought of killing Distria. Even when he betrayed him and decided to serve Arne, Acacia never had that thought. He remembered the man who had taken Arne the night before. He thought of the sword he swung without thinking. He was not a knight, nor was he a person who could keep his beliefs. How dare he judge others. ¡­He himself was not worthy to kill Distria. ¡°I¡­I don¡¯t deserve it.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m the one who killed many without thinking of commands.¡± ¡°¡­ However!¡± ¡°How can I kill him?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I deserve to die, too.¡± Acacia scoffed. He stood up as if he didn¡¯t want to talk anymore. Confused, he remembered himself as a child who said he wanted to protect the weak. How was he at that time? How was he back then when he found out that he had been played when he became Distria¡¯s sword? ¡°Then, kill him and die.¡± Lepis¡¯ words cut off his thoughts. Acacia turned his body and looked at Lepis. ¡°Kill him¡­ Die and make atonement.¡± Lepis¡¯ sharp eyes touched him. ¡°I, too, deserve to die.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I, too, don¡¯t deserve to kill him.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like that. I have never killed him until now, even though I can kill him. Now¡­¡± If he only killed Distria now, then the people he killed without thinking in the past. Now, if he killed Distria, what about the past? Acacia knew now that he was not thinking right. ¡°Then, Arne! I ruined it, someone else¡¯s life? What about those whose lives got ruined?¡± Pump, pump. His thoughts were cut off as he was suffering. Kill him, not kill him. He deserved death. Who deserved to die¡­? ¡°I am afraid.¡± What are you so afraid of? ¡°I am afraid.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll kill him, then I¡¯ll be relieved to kill him. I, who ruined other people¡¯s lives, and, who easily killed others, killed him.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I will comfort myself by saying I killed him. Will I give up being human anymore? Will I want to live more life? Will I become more of a monster?¡± Acacia spoke out angrily. He was confronted with his own unresolved sin, which strangled his neck. Acacia was having a hard time breathing. He was in pain, facing his ugly, inner selfishness. Not only that, he was also confronted with his selfishness that he couldn¡¯t hide until the very end. ¡°I¡¯m afraid.¡± Even though he could kill Distria any time he wanted, he couldn¡¯t¡­ He couldn¡¯t kill Distria. It was his selfishness. He was afraid that he would kill Distria and live in relief. Acacia wanted to live. It was true that death was terrifying. Acacia thought that he deserved death. But he wanted to live, even though he wanted to die as well. He wanted to keep his beliefs and live proudly as a knight. And, if he killed Distria, he was afraid that he¡¯d choose to live¡­ He was afraid he would think of himself as a good person to live. He was afraid. He didn¡¯t deserve to live. Acacia cried. It was pathetic that he couldn¡¯t do this or that. He wept sadly. __ Chapter 52 Chapter 52 ¨C What Love (1) I faced the reality of this place to the extent that I wondered if I had ever felt confused. The original story, which I was so hung up on, just happened like this, so I thought that way. However, this did not mean that I had completely lost my lingering attachment lust for following the original story. There was something I was looking forward to quite a bit. To go to the Grand Duke¡¯s estate¡­ There, the default was 3P. It was near the end of the story, so I knew how to start the story. Still, it was unclear whether the story would proceed properly just because I acted that way though I was willing to give it a try. It was pretty difficult, and there were a lot of provocative plays. Good if it worked, but also good if it didn¡¯t. Even if it wasn¡¯t that, it didn¡¯t matter because there were many people I had s*x with. Meanwhile, my relationship with Lepis stayed the same. He loved me, and I only accepted his heart without much thought. He came once a day, whispered love, and kissed me. ¡­Was it that Lepis that looked at me with an indifferent, cold gaze? To the extent that I thought he was desperately clinging to me. His eyes looking at me are deep and consistent. It was also burdensome. And at times, I was unbearably curious. I did not know love, and even if I felt love for Rewan, I gave up quickly. How much does he have to love me to be like this? It was amazing¡­ being able to love people so much. I didn¡¯t think it would ever happen in my lifetime. ¡°Eris.¡± ¡°Yes. Arne.¡± ¡°You come here often. Are you not busy?¡± Although Lepis touched my hand, he didn¡¯t respond as if he was distracted by the touch. It had healed now, but he touched the palm of my hand, which was left with a thick scar. It was a little unsightly though I was happy with this mark. As if it was a trace of me. He pressed his lips to the back of my hand. He raised his head and made eye contact with me. He looked at me and smiled softly. ¡°No matter how busy I am, it was not a waste of time to see you.¡± While he looked a little tired, I was at a loss for words as his face was smeared with happiness. He came to me every day and whispered his love to me, but I still did not adapt to this change. As he looked at me and whispered love, whispering affection.. it was awkward. ¡°¡­Yes.¡± ¡°I love you. Arne.¡± With Lepis¡¯ words of love, I turned my head and remained silent. He kissed my lips as if he didn¡¯t care about my attitude. I pretended to be a lover, pretended to be friendly, and pretended to look at him. I wrapped my arms around Lepis¡¯ waist and responded to his kiss. ¡°Ah¡­huht.¡± Starting with the kiss, Lepis¡¯ hot hands slid inside my clothes. He gently wrapped his arms around my chest and touched my n*pples with his fingers. The heat that started from my chest spread all over my body. I could feel his p*nis already hardened between our tight bodies. ¡°¡­.¡± His lips ran down my neck and bit my chest over the clothes. With the other hand, he stroked my back. Lepis let go of the hand that had touched my body and gently wrapped it around my waist. The sound of a thumping heart and rough breathing were heard from Lepis, who was holding me closer and tightly hugging me. He held me for a long time. Even then, he constantly whispered love in my ear. ¡°I love you.¡± A low-pitched voice drenched in lust echoed in my ears. ¡°¡­I love you.¡± He gave me one last long kiss and walked away from me. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath as if trying to calm his excitement. Lepis often had deep skinship like this, but he didn¡¯t end up doing it. Where did the he, who made a selfish choice asking me to call him Eris, go? As he did not force me to accept him, I found it awkward. ¡°¡­Why don¡¯t you? I told you that I don¡¯t care about s*x anymore.¡± It was half lie, half-truth. In the past life, it was truly a lie, but now, I occasionally questioned the truth that put my mind at ease. The moment the truth filled the days when there were only lies, I thought that life here would become a reality. I thought the day would come when I would act like myself¡ªlike a scar left on the palm of my hand. Lepis opened his closed eyes at my question. He sighed and gently put my hair over my ear. Then, he made eye contact and uttered to me. ¡°¡­I can¡¯t.¡± Why can¡¯t you? What was the reason? Because you love me so much¡­? I reached out to him. I wondered about his endless love. If he didn¡¯t want my body, why did he love me? I couldn¡¯t believe that such blind love existed¡­ How could he be devoted without asking anyone for anything? ¡°I told you not to pretend to think of me. It doesn¡¯t suit you.¡± I grabbed Lepis¡¯s hand that was caressing my cheek and pulled it. The next moment, I hugged Lepis¡¯ waist, which was easily pulled. He made eye contact with me and gave me a frown though I kissed him on the lips. From a light kiss to a deep kiss. Our tongues mixed, and saliva came and went. I strengthened my hands around his waist and clung to him. I gently patted him on the back that I was holding on to. Lepis let out a small moan through the gap in his mouth. ¡°Huh¡­¡± I pulled out the shirt that was neatly tucked into his pants before sliding my hands inside his shirt. I could feel Lepis¡¯ hot body temperature as I fumbled and touched his body from his waist to his chest. It felt good to the touch of the firm and elastic body. I stroked his back along the deep scar left behind. Suddenly, this trace made me curious about his past. I wondered how long he lived. I wondered about his time that I didn¡¯t know. I imagined him. I didn¡¯t know, but I stopped thinking when Lepis gave an urgent voice and looked at him. ¡°Wait¡­ Please wait.¡± Actually, I didn¡¯t even think about it. I had no idea what kind of life he had led. ¡°Ah¡­ Ugh¡ªArne, please.¡± I rolled up the clothes and held his cute n*pples in my mouth with my tongue. I was also going to try and bite it a little bit, and I gazed down at his chest. ¡°Hah¡­ Arne. Stop.¡± As if Lepis didn¡¯t know what to do with me, his wandering hand stirred in the air. That look was very cute. ¡°Why¡­?¡± I took off my clothes. I placed my hand on his waist and hurriedly loosened his belt. Grabbing the genitals as it swung up from his pants, a thin liquid was already rushing up from the head. I didn¡¯t even have time to take all his clothes off. My body was already heated by the action after a long time. Without thinking, I lined my entrance to his p*nis. I was ecstatic at the hard and hot feeling that entered me. I inserted his thing inside, regained my composure, and teased Lepis¡¯ n*pples again, clasping his hard body. ¡°Why did you tell me to stop?¡± Every time I touched his hand, I could feel his genitals twitch inside. ¡°Haa¡­ Arne.¡± At the same time as I said that, I started moving slowly up and down. Lepis was able to push me away. If he loved me and truly cared for me, he wouldn¡¯t mind having s*x for me. He had no reason to accept what I was doing. As with anyone, there was no love without a price. I misunderstood Lepis¡¯ love like that. There were people who asked for my heart, saying that they loved me, there were people who asked for my body, and there were people who just wanted to be by my side¡­ All of them demanded a corresponding price. People who whispered that they didn¡¯t want anything have asked for something at some point. I grabbed Lepis¡¯ hands, and his sitting posture was uncomfortable, so I laid him on the bed. He took a rough breath. His face, which seemed to be drenched in pleasure, looked a little gloomy, contrary to what I had expected. However he was, I was rushing to satisfy my needs. After all, what I wanted was s*x. Little by little, the speed of my movement increased. Lepis¡¯ p*nis, which filled the inside, touched the depths every time I moved up and down. As expected, the bigger ones are the best. Moreover, there was nothing like doing it cowgirl so it could get in deep. I kissed Lepis¡¯ lips, who lay beneath me, taking a short breath. The hot breath rushed into my mouth. ¡°Ha¡­ uht. A¡­rne.¡± ¡°Ha-uht. Ah¡ªhaa¡­a.¡± I was curious about how he would react to my actions like this. Would he be disappointed? Would he be surprised by my unexpected appearance? Would he still love me like this? How far was Lepis¡¯ love? If he loved me like this, could I love him¡­? ¡°I know that the reason you guard in front of the door and come to visit me on purpose is for my sake.¡± ¡°¡­Arne.¡± ¡°But, it can¡¯t be done without any cost.¡± Drop. Lepis¡¯ breathing stopped. His wounded expression touched me. ¡°¡­No.¡± Lepis, who was lying down, got up. The firm body hugged me. At the same time, the pounding heartbeat and the exhilarating breathing became still. ¡°¡­You don¡¯t have to do anything.¡± The voice that seemed wet with tears made me want to see his expression. I felt a gentle hand caressing my back. Swish, swish. As if to soothe me. I had a strange feeling. How could he do something for me with a wounded, tearful expression? Why was he comforting me? ¡­I couldn¡¯t figure it out. ¡°Then, why¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t finish my words as Lepis¡¯ lips touched mine. He devoured my lips as if to swallow them. As he grabbed his hand and clasped it, the heartbeat that had stopped beating loudly again as time passed. ¡°¡­Just. I, too¡ª¡± ¡°No. Don¡¯t say you don¡¯t know.¡± I cut off his words. Lepis laughed bitterly. ¡°Yes. If Arne is comfortable with that, I¡¯ll¡­¡± He stopped talking and placed his lips on the back of my hand. My cold eyes reflected him. It was a wounded look. ¡°I¡¯ll say I want to do it with you.¡± Lepis began to move inside the dried-up me. He turned around, laid me on the bed, and started moving. The movement in the dry place was stiff, but it also seemed to be forced. Because of that, The sense of excitement quickly subsided. ¡°¡­Arne.¡± He kissed the corners of my eyes and cheeks and around my ears. The wounded expression, the wounded tone of voice¡­ He looked pitiful enough to make me feel sorry for him, but I didn¡¯t care. He loved me so much, why couldn¡¯t I love him? It was a strange thing. I could never make up my mind. ¡°¡­Eris.¡± Even the slightest act of reaching out and stroking his face, just by calling his name, made him blush. He was shy and sometimes excited and at a loss for what to do. The man in love was simple and lovely. Was it the same for Rewan, who looked at me? Would he hug me as fiery as this? How about he, who loved me? ¡°¡­Arne, call me¡­one more time¡­ Please, Arne.¡± Lepis called me anxiously. He wanted me and found me. What I could get from the love he gave was not love itself, but that I was special to him. That was all. ¡°¡­Eris.¡± It was he who made this place a reality. He was the one who looked at me and stared at me and loved me. ¡°¡­Eris.¡± ¡°I love you. Arne. I love¡­ you.¡± But, I still had no feelings for him. __ Chapter 53 Chapter 53 ¨C What Love (2) It was a late night as usual. I glanced at the Abras that Acacia had placed in the vase. Even though the flower did not wither, the fragrance was fading though it still maintained the freshness as it was. As I opened the window, the sky full of stars was still beautiful today. It was a familiar act. Today, Acacia came to guard the door. He was still busy because of my orders, so I wondered if I still had a conscience as I was a little worried. Creak. I opened the door. There was Acacia, who looked tired. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like that. I can¡¯t sleep.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± His eyes narrowed. What did he think of my words that I couldn¡¯t sleep? Acacia could be seen under the dim light. I slowly closed my distance from him. As I got closer to him, little by little, his figure became more and more distinct. He looked a little thin and tired. Somehow, his cheeks look flushed today. Was I just looking at the cheek flushed red from the redness of the candlelight like a lewd devil? If that were the case, I wouldn¡¯t even have an everyday life¡­ ¡°You look tired.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ This is fine.¡± The corners of Acacia¡¯s eyes curved in an arc. When I raised my hand in front of him, Acacia naturally bowed, setting his eyes on me. I placed my raised hand on his cheek. It was not ¡®Please hit me.¡¯ I didn¡¯t mean to hit him¡­ Putting my hands on Acacia¡¯s cheeks, I moved one hand on his forehead as I felt a little bit of heat on his cheeks. ¡°Ah¡­¡± Were my hands cold or Acacia¡¯s body hot? Startled by the fireball-like forehead, I released my hand. The cheeks were still red. Thank goodness, I could have an everyday life¡­ Unlike my heart, which was a nonsense pit, I spat out quite normal words out of my mouth. ¡°You¡¯re having a fever now.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± What was okay? I wanted to say something about Acacia¡¯s foolishness though I closed my lips tightly because I didn¡¯t mean to. I sighed in secret. Then, I grabbed his arm and led him into the room. I closed the door, locked it, and laid him on the bed. Even though he was exhaling harsh breaths from the heat, he struggled to get out of the room. What kind of patient was so strong? ¡°Rest.¡± ¡°Haa¡­ no.¡± ¡°It¡¯s an order.¡± My hand tightened and pressed Acacia¡¯s shoulder as he was about to get up. He collapsed on the bed helplessly. While sweat dripped from his hot forehead, the breath coming out of his lips was hot. Haa. Even if I¡¯m a pervert, I couldn¡¯t believe I was still excited in this kind of situation. Moreover, Acacia was now a patient. ¡°No. I can¡¯t rest.¡± ¡°It¡¯s an order.¡± Acacia, who was trying to move his body, shut his lips at the word ¡®order.¡¯ Then, I carefully covered him with the blanket. Was there a wet towel? Or hot porridge. I felt quite sorry as there was nothing I could do for him. ¡°I haven¡¯t used you for anything yet.¡± It was funny that I had no choice but to say that so he wouldn¡¯t get sick. Acacia was seriously listening to such a nonsensical word as a command. It was humorous. What was I even doing? In the end, he closed his eyes. His condition, which quickly fell into a deep sleep, seemed a little more serious. Acacia kept dripping sweat down his head. Even though he was so sick, his honest loyalty to come to protect my door was burdensome. I sighed. I tried to tear the duvet to use as a wet towel, but it didn¡¯t rip well, so I took off my clothes. Even though it was a silk material, I wondered if I could wipe his body with water. Fortunately, there was water in the bathroom attached to the room. It was all cold. I went back to the room with the wet clothes, squeezed out of enough water. I wiped Acacia¡¯s sweaty face. ¡°Ha¡­¡± I unbuttoned Acacia¡¯s shirt and wiped away his wet body, stroking him. I brushed against his tightly woven abs. The scars I see occasionally. There were small scars here and there that I did not know whether it was a wound from a sword or what kind of mark it was. On the pretext of wiping his body, I had a dark intention. My conscience was a bit pricked, but I tried to rationalize it. When would I have the opportunity to touch Acacia¡¯s wonderful body to my heart¡¯s content? Even then, seeing him gasping for breath, I felt a strange sense of guilt. While enduring this pain, what should I say? Why was I being punished alone? Besides, if I hadn¡¯t gone down the hallway to see him, he would have spent the rest of his time alone in the cold space. My heart was agitated. I took the cold towel back and headed to the bathroom. I was wiping away the sweat from Acacia¡¯s neck. His eyelids opened. The blurred pupils gave off a faint light. Acacia got up. He grabbed my wrist that was placed around his neck and looked at me. He seemed to be out of his mind with the fever. The murderous energy in his eyes was dreadful. ¡°Haa¡­ Who¡¯s¡­ there.¡± Suddenly, Acacia¡¯s grip on my hand loosened. ¡°¡­Arne?¡± He checked me and leaned on me in relief. Acacia¡¯s body was collapsing without warning. At this point, I took off his coat and wiped his sweaty back. The hot breath tickled my throat. I gazed at Acacia, who opened his eyes just by the fact that something touched his neck even though he was in so much pain. Numerous marks and traces gave certain certainty. Why did I think that he was not human just because I saw such a person in the book? Did I think he was a flat and unchanging person? I laid him down slowly, being careful not to let anything touch Acacia¡¯s neck. If his neck accidentally lightly touched the pillow, I was worried that he might wake up. However, contrary to what I thought, Acacia did not open his eyes. I put my hand on his neck again, just in case. I tried to strangle him slowly. He didn¡¯t open his eyes. I felt strange. My heart was pounding. Even though it may be an insignificant, meaningless behavior, it felt strangely good. I think he trusted me. Perhaps, it was just my own delusion. He seemed to trust me¡­ It made me happy even though it didn¡¯t make sense. To him, I was the King of the enemy country and the King of the country he destroyed. He knew I wanted to kill him and wanted him to die. Still, how could he sleep looking so relieved when he saw me? What does he think of me? ¡°Haha¡­¡­, Ha.¡± I touched Acacia¡¯s neck with my fingertips again. Again, my lips drew a smile at the sight of him exhaling even breaths. How good it felt to be trusted by someone? I just found out now. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was already lying in bed. As I woke up, I remembered last night when I saw Acacia¡¯s robe that had fallen. My heart still tickled. It was the first time I¡¯d felt so good without a relationship. The maids showered me generously with perfume, washed and clothed me. After that, after having breakfast and lying around, Lepis would come to visit. Wasn¡¯t this the good life of a jobless person? I was put to sleep, washed, and fed. I waited for Lepis to come around lunchtime. It was time for him to come. Why didn¡¯t he come¡­? As I rolled over the bed, I jumped up when I felt a presence. The door swung open without a knock. I didn¡¯t think it was Lepis. Even though he always came at the same time, he did not forget to knock. ¡°Did you wait for Lepis?¡± Seeing me standing, Distria spat out cold words. No, not really, why was he here? The man I hadn¡¯t seen in a long time approached me slowly. ¡°I have prepared something for my lovely Arne.¡± One of his fingers lifted my chin. I was uneasy at Distria¡¯s sight, who seemed to be in a good mood. ¡°You will definitely like it.¡± Distria laughed. Rewan flashed through my mind. My heart was pounding. ¡­Please, don¡¯t let it be that. Even though I didn¡¯t love Rewan more than my life, I just didn¡¯t want him to die in front of me. Did that mean I didn¡¯t want him to die? Or was I denying my love for him? ¡°Oh, it¡¯s been a while since, so why don¡¯t you wear nice clothes? You look so shabby.¡± My restless mind became certain. It was just one day, today was the only day Acacia was sick. Still, Rewan was caught? I couldn¡¯t believe it. I thought this would have worked. Was this just fate? Or was it a story that is inevitable because it would go according to the book? Distria hung his fingers around the neck of the round silk dress before sliding it down. The thin fabric was torn easily by his light gesture. ¡°Send the handmaid.¡± My head became so white that I couldn¡¯t even respond to Distria¡¯s actions or words. He tapped on my pale white cheek and opened the door. I instinctively grabbed Distria¡¯s arm as he was about to get out. ¡°Are you going to kill him?¡± Distia¡¯s mysterious eyes reached me. He gazed at me and lowered his gaze, and I followed his gaze to where my hand was holding him. ¡°I¡¯ll see what you do and think about it.¡± ¡­Right now? What should I do to prevent Distria from killing Rewan? Should I get down on my knees? Should I give my body? My mind was worn out by the irrational thinking. I didn¡¯t know what Distria wanted me to do. What if Rewan died when I chose the wrong option? I couldn¡¯t move easily. There were times when I easily thought of Rewan¡¯s death. There were times when I easily spoke of Rewan¡¯s death. There were times when I used to think it was fate. ¡­It was just fate, but why was I so afraid to face it? I took a breath. I thought of his death when I first saw him. I thought of Rewan. His empty eyes and angry face. The way he cared about me¡­ that smile that made me smile from time to time, and that stupid look he made when he was embarrassed¡­ His death was nowhere among it. I didn¡¯t remember his death anymore. It didn¡¯t come to mind. Time passed slowly as if it had stopped. The time that stopped, move again with Distria. ¡°Then, let¡¯s go see him.¡± Distria misunderstood my hesitation. I couldn¡¯t stop him as he left the room. __ Chapter 54 Chapter 54 ¨C What Love (3) There was nowhere and nothing to blame about. However, I had no intention of blaming Acacia. It was me who brought Rewan here in the first place, and I knew how much Acacia worked hard for him. I was the one who gave him rest yesterday. Tears flowed without knowing why. Now, I knew it was selfish to do this though I didn¡¯t want to see Rewan. ¡­I did not want to see his death. Time passed, but I squatted still and couldn¡¯t move for a while. As if time stopped like this. I knew I had given my heart to someone who was going to die. Why was I having a hard time? Tears streamed down both cheeks. ¡°Arne.¡± Lepis, who I didn¡¯t know when he came, grabbed my arms and pulled me up. He wiped the corners of my crying eyes. He dismissed the maids who had come with him. I shook off Lepis¡¯ hand that was holding me up before sitting down on the floor. ¡°Arne!¡± I glanced at Lepis with blank eyes. If I had liked him even now, would my heart be at ease? It wasn¡¯t even a funny idea. What to do¡­ When he was captured, I thought that I would not be able to love Rewan, whose death was predicted. That was my wish. I did not know that emotions cannot be measured and cut with a ruler and a knife. ¡­I was foolish. As Lepis leaned me on him and hugged me, the sound of his beating heart pounded against me. Tears flowed out like a burst of sobs at that insignificant simple sound. ¡°Ugh¡­ huu¡­¡± ¡°Calm down, please. Arne. Your body is too cold.¡± ¡°No¡­no¡­ I don¡¯t want to go.¡± Muttering so, I grabbed Lepis¡¯ shoulder and hung onto him. Oh, it wasn¡¯t painful for a beloved to die. I was worried about facing his death. Even though the pain would be fleeting, I couldn¡¯t bear that¡­ I didn¡¯t want to bear it. I¡¯d been looking for pleasure. Why did I have to hurt? It was a selfish thought, it was a selfish mind. What about the people who died for my pleasure? For my pleasure¡­ I took a deep breath. I was feeling a deep sense of guilt. They seemed to take shape and strangle me. It was difficult to breathe. ¡°Ugh¡­ Gasp.¡± ¡°Breathe slowly, Arne.¡± I gripped my chest in the pain of my heart pounding. Lepis grabbed my hand and placed his lips on it. His warm hands touched my body warmly. There was not enough oxygen amongst the feeling of guilt and fear. I grabbed his collar. I needed warmth. I needed pleasure to paralyze my brain. ¡°¡­I was wrong.¡± ¡°What did you do! What did you do wrong?¡± Even in the midst of this, I wanted to scream at him, who spit out an apology. I didn¡¯t like his worried gaze, the affectionate eyes hidden behind them. I was selfish to want to relieve my guilt, and they apologized to me. I was a selfish, mean, ugly person, so don¡¯t apologize to me. I didn¡¯t deserve an apology. ¡­Don¡¯t love me. I don¡¯t deserve to be loved. Even now, I was more worried about myself than Rewan, who would soon die. I didn¡¯t want to suffer, I didn¡¯t want to face Rewan. I was such a selfish person. ¡°I¡­I was wrong.¡± Lepis gently stroked my shoulder. His painful emotions were clear in the corners of his tear-stained eyes. ¡°If Rewan dies, will you look after me? Will you look at me? Maybe there is a chance, I thought¡­ I was wrong. Arne.¡± Suddenly, the tears stopped. My hands trembled. The suppressed emotions overflowed like a dam bursting. I wanted to block Lepis¡¯ lips that were apologizing to me. Now, I wanted to kiss his lips, who told me of my selfishness¡­ In front of love, everyone was a selfish beast. I was just more important than the person I loved. ¡°Haha¡­ ha.¡± Laughter slipped out of my mouth. I slapped Lepis on the cheek. I pounded his chest with my fist. Even I, who was selfish in this situation, was insanely glad that Rewan had been captured because of Lepis, not because of me. At that moment, I had a terribly selfish thought that I wasn¡¯t the one who killed Rewan. I felt less guilty and happy. Even though Rewan was arrested, it was okay because it wasn¡¯t my fault. I was glad. ¡°You¡­ how do you¡­¡± ¡°I have deceived you.¡± Lepis knelt down on his knees. He placed his lips on the top of my foot. ¡°Please love me.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Look at me.¡± ¡°Lepis. I hate you, I can¡¯t forgive you, I won¡¯t even do it.¡± I was relieved of guilt. I smiled happily inside. And then¡­.. I thought differently as if my reason had been paralyzed. My head hurt. Rewan might die, was I really happy with that? My dry heart was pounding. Drop. Tears that had stopped dripping were flowing down my cheeks again. Perhaps, it was luck that Raphael died that the story changed the original Lepis and Acacia changed. In fact, it was their inner feelings that I didn¡¯t know. Conceivably, they hadn¡¯t changed. It was an absurd assumption. I knew I was having a strange idea. I couldn¡¯t face reality properly. I couldn¡¯t think. Even though I knew it myself, I kept repeating thoughts that didn¡¯t fit. Ah, again, back to square one. I couldn¡¯t get rid of the burning disgust. I couldn¡¯t escape the ghost of the original story. Like a puppet with strings attached, I was turned and returned to its place. I guess I couldn¡¯t let go of the book just because I didn¡¯t think about it. I brought out a fact that I had ignored until the end, a fact that I had never even thought possible. Maybe, I was also a marionette controlled by the original story¡­ Not wanting to think anymore, I raised my hand. ¡°Bring in the maid.¡± I covered my face with my hands. I didn¡¯t even want to talk to Lepis anymore. I was resentful for making me think of the original story again, and I hated him for arousing my selfishness. How far would you drag me? Until I give up being human? I hated him. Still, it was contemptuous to see me rejoicing with the relieved guilt at his words. I put ice on my swollen eyes. Wow, ice here was quite expensive. That was too much for a sex slave. I tried to hide my anxiety and thought about something else. The more I prepared, the more my mind became a mess. If Rewan died here, what if he died? What was the next story? So, what about the past? Perhaps it was also fate. Lepis looked at my face, which had become white and tired. I didn¡¯t look at him. I didn¡¯t want to see him and rekindle the chaos again. I shut my lips tightly. In fact, it was all a lie to say that everything was just a variable and subject to change. Maybe, it was my mistake. What was I? Actually, perhaps, I was Arne¡­ Maybe, I was pretending to enjoy myself because I wanted to get away from this place. My name, who used to live in Korea, was fuzzy. I wanted to faint. I shook my head at the one word that came to mind. No. That was not my name¡­ my name was Arne. Empty eyes filled the air. ¡°Arne. I¡­ I¡¯m¡­¡± I smacked him on the cheek for calling my name. I was angry. It was only now that I had taken root here and was slowly adjusting to it, but he ruined it all. He caused confusion again if this was the book. If I had to go according to the contents of the book, there would be no place for me. ¡°Shut up. Don¡¯t call my name because you don¡¯t deserve it.¡± ¡°I was¡­ wrong.¡± ¡°Shut up!¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t apologize. Because you have no right to apologize and your apology is not worth it.¡± I refused to be escorted by Lepis. The fear of meeting Rewan was all engulfed in anger. That intense fear disappeared as if it was a lie. It was okay, but it wasn¡¯t okay either. The country was overflowing with human selfishness. I felt like I was going to get nausea. To what extent would I become ugly? How far would I fall if there was no end? I know myself. I knew I was going to pursue pleasure in any situation. So, don¡¯t ask me for any humanity. ¡­Don¡¯t ask for love, don¡¯t desire my feelings. I opened the door to the banquet hall where Rewan would be. Drip, drip. Blood pooled on the floor, creating a puddle. My hand trembled. Maybe, the eyes Rewan would have would contain resentment. What kind of expression would he look at me? I was worried and closed my eyes. ¡°Open your eyes.¡± Distria¡¯s sharp words pierced my ears. I glanced around. Lepis was next to Distria, and Acacia was lowering his head. The nobles were around. It was full of people, just like the day the festival was held. He made the death of another person an entertainment. It was terrible. What. ¡­Wasn¡¯t I also a terrible person? I smiled bitterly inside. In fact, maybe the story in the book was forced to progress as it was. Even though I knew it wasn¡¯t, I fell into thoughts again. I felt like I was going crazy if I didn¡¯t think like this. I knew it wasn¡¯t. I kept repeating meaningless thoughts. I had already seen many changes. The world where Rewan ran away, the world where Raphael died¡­ The already messed up mind that turned those changes back to nothing. Again, meaningless thoughts ran through my head. Wake up. Save Rewan¡­ that this place was not in a book, that it was a new world. Prove yourself that you are living a new life. As I thought so, I opened my eyes and faced reality. Gazing at him hanging, there was no resentment, frustration, or fear in his eyes. There was only guilt towards me. ¡°Your¡­Majesty. Ar¡­rne. For¡­give¡­ me.¡± Cough. Lewan spilled blood out of his mouth. A scream reached the end of my neck. Why was he apologizing to me until this? I relieved myself of the guilt because he was brought in by Lepis. Even now, I sympathize with myself, not him. It was for me to save him, but why was he worrying about me¡­? An indescribable question lingered in my mouth. Drip. Blood pooled to form a puddle. I shouted in Distria¡¯s direction. ¡°What? What the hell do you want? What have I done wrong!¡± Distria slowly walked towards me. He smiled contentedly. ¡°Try more.¡± ¡°Why are you doing this!¡± I shouted passionately. I gasped for breath and grabbed my chest. I was frustrated. If he wanted, I could be his. Why was he bothering me like this? Distria lifted my chin. ¡°Do you want to save him?¡± I nodded hastily. Rewan¡¯s mournful voice could be heard in my ear. ¡°For¡­forget¡­ about¡­ me.¡± From where Rewan was tied down, bang! A heavy rustling sound rang out. Blood gushed out of his body with each movement from his tied arm. I shut my eyes again at the cruel and ruthless sight. I loved him. I didn¡¯t love him. I lifted my heel and followed Distria¡¯s lips. He bowed his back as if in response. As I kissed his lips, the rustling sound that rang in my ears disappeared. It was because Rewan, who was moving, stopped moving. He didn¡¯t say or do anything. Distria looked down at the podium. The eyes of the people who looked up at the podium were strange as if they were drunk on drugs. His intention was clear. If I loved him more than I do myself, I would not save him because my actions would cause him an indelible wound. ¡­Still, I was more concerned with selfishness than my love. ¡°I will do anything.¡± ¡°Bring the elixir.¡± Distria beckoned. __ Chapter 55 Chapter 55 ¨C What Love (4) ¡°You know what this is.¡± Elixir, a miracle medicine that healed wounds, removed scars, and healed diseases with just one drop. The medicine was called God¡¯s miracle, but the way it was made was on the contrary. It was a medicine made by extracting vitality by slowly killing people. Not only that, but it was also called the devil¡¯s temptation because it was made in a forbidden way. Rewan fell to the floor with Distria¡¯s gesture. He grabbed Rewan, who was rebelling, and dropped a drop of Elixir into his mouth. Surrounded by a bright light, Rewan¡¯s wounds slowly disappeared. It was a phenomenal sight. My trembling hands stopped at that scene. ¡­Rewan was not dead. I could change the story. I was not a marionette. I was alive here. Do I really, really think and act that way? I took a breath. I was faced with my ugly selfishness. It was not an act to confirm that the story could be changed. It wasn¡¯t an action to save Rewan. Rather than wanting to save him, I was feeling a lot of excitement in this situation. The drugged eyes, hands outstretched towards me¡­ I couldn¡¯t admit my selfishness, so I thought of something else¡­ That didn¡¯t mean it was not what I wanted, though. I loved Rewan¡­ But, I just loved myself more. ¡°Now, what do you think you should do?¡± The eyes of the people below swept through the body. I took off my shoes, and my bare feet touched the ground. Suddenly, I got curious. Why was he doing this? Why was he doing this when he was obsessed with me and wanted me¡­? ¡°What do you want by doing this?¡± Distria picked up the shoes I had taken off myself. He pressed his lips to the front of my shoe before gazing at me. ¡°I want you to suffer.¡± ¡°¡­Is that all?¡± Distria laughed. I took off my clothes without saying a word. The colorful and intricate dress fell off my body with a few gestures. I slowly descended from the platform. Insidious gazes passed slowly from the tip of my toes to the whole body. The outstretched hands of the people below touched the back of my feet. ¡°Just with something like this? It would be a bit disappointing if I did this, knowing I was going to lose my mind.¡± I looked at Distria, who was smiling. The podium and downstairs were quite high. Still, I didn¡¯t go down the stairs. I just leaned over at the end. My body fell down. I fell to the floor, and the people below caught me. Not a single part touched the floor. Like drunk on drugs, the already hardened genitals touched my body. I reached out my hand without knowing where it would go. They didn¡¯t seem like nobles. He must have brought the commoners from somewhere to insult me. I can¡¯t feel it. ¡°Aargh¡ª! Aaarrghhh! Please, please¡­ Don¡¯t do it.¡± Rewan screamed. He felt such a sense of disgrace. I couldn¡¯t feel it. I was not worth your concern¡­ I looked over the podium. Rewan¡¯s eyes, filled with despair, touched me. I turned my head. Then, I glanced at the drugged people. He was chained again with a clunky sound. ¡°Arne, don¡¯t¡­! Please¡­ huhp.¡± Rewan¡¯s mouth was gagged. What would he think if he knew that I was excited in such a miserable and horrific situation? What would he think of me? I¡¯d rather Rewan despise me and hate me. I wanted him to resent me for making this situation happen. ¡­Don¡¯t look at me with such pitiful, worried eyes. ¡°Go ahead.¡± As Distria turned to look at the beasts reaching out to me, he left the room without hesitation. In the place he left, only the howling Rewan and the beasts remained. ¡°Huhup¡­ Heuk.¡± Rewan cried non-stop. If he was going to suffer so much, he should just close his eyes. I was in pain, but I didn¡¯t close my eyes. Dozens of genitals had already ripped through me, and my bottom was messed up with s*men. There were s*men all around my face and all over my body. Rewan¡¯s face, looking at me, was also a mess with dried tears. ¡°Ha¡­ ah.¡± I was physically pushed to the limit. In the original story, it would have been enough to lose consciousness, but strangely, I was fine. The n*pples, which had been constantly squeezed, were sore as if their skin had been peeled off. It was such an intense pleasure that any negative thoughts became lost. The next moment, a big p*nis pierced my anal. ¡°Aaaack!¡± Another man¡¯s p*nis entered through my gaping mouth. As if my whole body was being used as a pleasure hole, they rubbed their genitals in my armpits, shoulders, and waist wherever I bent. At first, I felt sorry for Rewan, who was watching this scene. However, the pleasure that paralyzes my brain little by little also gradually crumbled my reason. I even forgot that Rewan was watching. The hands stroking me from here and there were ecstatic, and without even stopping for a break, they poked me inside. I was constantly taking other people¡¯s p*nis. Quite a long time has passed. Now, Rewan didn¡¯t even have the energy to cry more. He stared blankly at me. I was no longer reflected in the empty eyes that had given up everything¡­ Eyes that didn¡¯t know where they were looking wandered through the air. ¡°Hahh¡­¡± Even the men who had been mechanically thrusting their waists had lost their consciousness as the energy of the drugs was gradually diminishing. Still, many remained. Someone I didn¡¯t know grabbed my head and threw me on the floor. The connected genitals were forcibly pulled out. He grabbed my legs awkwardly, spread them apart before shoving himself into the entrance. As I had already taken in many people, there was no more love liquid to come out, so it was stiff. They stabbed my stiff inside with greediness. ¡°Hah¡­ Ugh.¡± The place was filled with the pungent smell of s*men. It was a beastly moment. When the hands of the men holding me disappeared, even when everything was over, my body was tired¡­ but my mind was strangely clear. I moved my weakened legs and approached Rewan. I had things to say and things to deal with. This was no place for Rewan to be. I didn¡¯t want him. I loved him. However, I did not love him more than my life or my joy. I moved my arms, which had lost strength, and pulled down the hanging Rewan. I took a deep breath and faced him as I pulled the cloth from Rewan¡¯s mouth and took his hand. ¡°Run away. Don¡¯t come back.¡± ¡°¡­Ar¡­ne,¡± ¡°¡­Forget me.¡± Rewan took off his clothes and wiped my body that was covered with s*men. The already dried s*men could not be removed easily. As Tears welled up in his eyes, I put my hand over his swollen eyes. I was deceiving him. ¡°Why¡­why¡­ Did you save me?¡± Ironically, Rewan¡¯s eyes were filled with resentment, hurting my heart¡­ which ignored his pain while just caring for my lust. My fingertips were cold, and I hid my trembling hands. ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡­ I am not even a knight. I¡¯ve already insulted you twice, and I held you down with my life¡­ Why did you save me?¡± Suddenly, I felt like I lost my mind. ¡­Still, he worried about me¡­ without knowing my ugliness, my inner heart, and what I was thinking. ¡°Why! Why did you live through such humiliation?¡± How could he worry about me? ¡°¡­How.¡± I barely swallowed back my words. I almost gave him my undeserved love as I lost my mind in an instant. It was a selfish intention, an intention that should not be touched. It was something I couldn¡¯t take out. Even my preceding actions were not an act to save my beloved Rewan out of love for him. It was just an act to satisfy my pleasure and lust. I didn¡¯t even deserve to tell him I love him. I couldn¡¯t think of anything to say. I just stared blankly at him. Rewan¡¯s hands were still busy, trying to wipe the s*men that had hardened on my body. Tears fell from his eyes as he rubbed them even though they couldn¡¯t be wiped off. ¡°I¡¯m, I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡­can¡¯t, wipe, wipe it off.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ because I¡¯m alive. Because I can¡¯t do anything.¡± Rewan hugged me. He was in despair, yet it was me who threw him into despair. Nonetheless, my heart, that was held by him, was pounding and screaming out of control. This was an obvious deception. Another night passed. Today was a peaceful day with no one visiting. I went into the bathtub overflowing with cold water. A tingling sensation crept to the inside of my bones and wrapped around my entire body from my toes. I was caught up in a strange feeling. Something seemed to be going the wrong way. Why couldn¡¯t I be satisfied with ordinary love and ordinary life? Who set the standard for ¡®ordinary¡¯ in the first place? ¡ªSplash. There was a gentle wave along with the movement of my toes. It was cold. The air and water filling the bathtub were cold. What had cooled down? Was it my heart? Was it my humanity? Or was there something hot inside me in the first place¡­? I did not know. I just thought of that. I didn¡¯t know I could like anyone. However, I thought that if I fell in love with someone, the person I was would change as well.. but nothing changed. ¡­ So, was this love? ¡ªKnock, knock. I didn¡¯t even think about putting on my clothes when I heard the knock coming from outside. I got up from the bathtub filled with cold water and opened the door. In the dark night, in the dark space, the red hair stood out. I closed my eyes as I didn¡¯t want to see him. ¡°Why, I said I didn¡¯t want to see you.¡± Lepis hurriedly took off his coat and wrapped it around me, perhaps surprised by my appearance. I felt a tremor in his hand as he buttoned it up. ¡°I don¡¯t need it. Go back.¡± As I flicked off his hand, his coat fell to the floor as well. Then, I grabbed Lepis¡¯s arm and led him before closing the door with the other hand. I lightly stroked Lepis¡¯ arm. ¡°Or do you want to do it, too?¡± It was completely dark, not even the moon had risen. Only the small light of a flickering candle lit the room. I reached over Lepis¡¯s neck. He grabbed my outstretched hand. Soon, he grabbed the other hand and raised it over my head. Only the sound of water dripping from my body could be heard in my ears. ¡°It¡¯s not like that.¡± ¡°If not, go away.¡± Lepis released my wrist. A scorching warmth touched the rest of my wrist. He knelt at my feet. ¡°I¡­¡± ¡°Why? Are you afraid I¡¯m going to die, so you are on your knees?¡± I cut off his words. I tapped his chin with my toe. Water dripping from my toes wet the floor. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I have no intention of dying.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like that.¡± ¡°Noisy. Don¡¯t apologize Don¡¯t spit out any words because I want to kill you.¡± I had no right to ignore him or to kill him. His selfishness did not even reach my toes. Still, I couldn¡¯t help but despise him. ¡­For my selfishness, for my appearance, I despised myself. I was pouring out on him as if to relieve my anger, but it didn¡¯t mean he did nothing wrong. All in all, I liked having s*x with several people, and it was good to relieve my guilt about Rewan. However, even with this selfish appearance of mine, I got down on my knees and lowered my gaze to those eyes looking at me. ¡­He had eyes full of love. I hated seeing it filled with love¡­ I hate him for loving me¡­ I hate him for making me compare loving him to loving Rewan¡­ ¡­What kind of emotion was this? Was it hate? Or was it jealousy that came from a narrow heart? __ Chapter 56 Chapter 56 ¨C What Love (5) ¡°It was painful to let you go like that.¡± That was not even funny. I stared at Distria. ¡°So, don¡¯t love anyone other than me.¡± He rubbed my chin and bit my ear. As he licked the lobe and patted the inside of my ear, I gasped for a moment at the intense stimulation that touched the sensitive area. Distria¡¯s fingers ran across my neck. ¡°No, don¡¯t love anyone. Love and you don¡¯t suit each other.¡± His cold lips touched my neck. While his hot tongue licked my throat, he opened his mouth and put a tooth mark on my neck. ¡°Haa¡­ it doesn¡¯t suit you either.¡± I leaned back and touched my licked ear. Wet saliva dripped onto my palms. When I looked at Distria with piercing eyes, he looked at my face and smiled as his fingertips traced the red marks. ¡°Is this the price for saving ¡®him¡¯?¡± Distria kissed his lips on the red marks that had bloomed. He engraved a toothmark deliberately, as I didn¡¯t like it. Then, with his long fingers wrapped around my waist, he pulled up the thin clothes and bit my chest. ¡°Ha-ah¡­ uht.¡± My skin, which had been touched so much yesterday, was sore and painful. Distria placed one of my breasts in his mouth and gently stroked my thigh with the other hand, where there was the bumpy butterfly tattoo. His hand, which had been touching my thigh, glided to the inside. ¡°Heup¡­!¡± The inner flesh, which had been used so much, was sore. Stabbing my cl*toris, swollen from the excessive sexual activity, he spread my legs apart with his hands and dug into me. The long fingers gently rubbed the inside. I felt light pain and pleasure. ¡°Hahk¡ª!¡± I was busy moaning as I hung on his shoulder with the movement of his hand. My hand on his shoulder trembled as he focused on attacking the sensitive parts I felt, and my mind went blank. Distria¡¯s lips curled up as he laughed at me. ¡°Did you weep and get wet in front of those men?¡± Even as he said so, he had a murderous look face as if he was dissatisfied. As Distria pulled out his finger, which was tickling my inside, the thin love liquid was thickly smeared on his fingers. Why was he mad at me when he was the one who made the situation happen? I met Distria¡¯s ferocious eyes. His absurd attitude just made me laugh. So, I laughed. I was already broken and ruined. No matter what I did, it was meaningless. They had changed, too, but I couldn¡¯t change. I didn¡¯t want to think about anything anymore¡­ I just did what my heart wanted. ¡°If so?¡± ¡°You are not even qualified to be a ¡®king¡¯.¡± ¡°From the moment this stigma was put on, that qualification disappeared. You got rid of it.¡± I pulled Distria¡¯s collar before pressing our lips together. As I unbuttoned his shirt, he didn¡¯t stop what I was doing and watched it with happy eyes. Then, I licked his chest down with my tongue. Flinch. Seeing that he reacted when the tip of my tongue touched the n*pple, I grabbed his waist and sucked hard on his peaks. ¡°Ha¡­ You¡¯ve become a whore.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t this what you wanted?¡± I glanced up at him and smiled, my eyebrows curved. As he stared at me, smiling without a word, his eyes drew a half-moon. Then all of a sudden, Distria grabbed my hair. ¡ªBang! ¡°Kuhk¡­!¡± He pressed me down on the desk in the office with a strong force, and the impact caused the papers to fall to the floor. Distria untied his tie from his neck and tied my hands behind my back. Then, he lightly slapped my buttocks with his palms. I lay on his desk and trembled at the pleasure he gave me. The next moment, he pulled out the piece of fabric that had already lost its function and gently swept my butt. Then, he poked inside with his fingers. The abused inside complained of pain at his careless touch. Even the water inside, which had been buoyant with his quick hand movements, dried up. I turned my head and looked at him. My eyes met his. For a moment, it was as if all the pleasure and excitement I had felt had burned away. And suddenly, the pain came. Words of pain spit out of my mouth. ¡°Hahk¡­ Ha¡­ah! Don¡¯t!¡± Distria poked my inside with his fingers even more mercilessly as he shoved the finger that was stabbing my inside into the anal. ¡°Hah-ugh¡­ Don¡¯t do it.¡± ¡°I saw the swelling here, too, so I put it in the back.¡± When he repeatedly shoved his fingers deep, he picked up a pen that was rolling on the desk and shoved it inside. I screamed at the pen, penetrating deeply. ¡°Ah-uhk¡ª! Ah¡­Huuhk! Take it out!¡± Distria did not pull out the pen that had been deeply lodged in my anal. Instead, he just put his thing inside me. The desk shook, and with the intense movement, the remaining pens and books on the desk fell and rolled on the floor. The sound of pain was buried in the sound of books falling. ¡°Ha-uhk¡­ Unnk¡­ Heuk!¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it a place where you can eat anything well?¡± I couldn¡¯t understand his madness. It was the situation he created on his own, and it was the situation he wanted. I was just playing along. Soon, Distria grabbed my pelvis and ran through it at random. This was not an act of pursuit of pleasure. Only clear pain was felt, so I screamed. It was an act that would have been fine had I not been abused yesterday. But now, it hurt so much. I hate pain without pleasure. My body had heated up a while ago though I couldn¡¯t understand why pain was the only clear feeling now. ¡°Ahhk! Ah¡­! Ah, hu¡ªHuuhk!¡± Distria was busy pounding his waist, ignoring my screams. Rather, he just sped up. Tears rolled down my eyes. In pain, my lips were busy screaming instead of moaning. This was not sex. ¡°Why are you crying? Didn¡¯t you take off my clothes expecting something like this?¡± When he grabbed my hair, my neck was sore from being pulled. His warm body temperature touched my back. Distria rubbed my chest with the other hand. ¡°Don¡¯t cry. It hurts my heart because you cry.¡± ¡°Heuk¡­ huhp.¡± ¡­Nonsense. Distria untied my arms that had been bound. As he pulled out his p*nis and hugged me lightly, s*men flowed down my thighs along with the genitals that slid away. Then, he licked away the flowing tears. It was a kindness that made me wonder if he was the person who had acted violently a while ago. That look was disgusting. ¡°Don¡¯t get on my nerves.¡± ¡°Bastard¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t stop the swearing that leaked out between my lips. Distria smiled, curling his eyebrows. In the blink of an eye, my head turned. ¡ªSlap. ¡°Say that again.¡± I did not turn my head back. His hand gently stroked my cheek. It was disgusting. I swore again. ¡°F*cking bastard.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Distria kissed my lips and grabbed my hand. His p*nis, again inflated in size, touched my thigh. Everything I did with him was painful. Later, the slippery s*men acted as a lubricant, but the pain didn¡¯t go away. It wasn¡¯t that he couldn¡¯t have s*x or anything like that. He was rather good at it. But why? Touch. I rubbed the spot where Distria had touched. The indelible tooth marks were disgusting. Meeting people who loved me, meeting people who really cared about me, was that why? Was it because I didn¡¯t like s*x without emotions? That being said, the s*x I had with several people was satisfactory. It didn¡¯t matter. Maybe, I just didn¡¯t like having s*x with Distria. That might be it. I recalled the moment my eyes met his. He had snake-like eyes¡­ eyes filled with loathing and hatred. I liked the eyes that wanted me during pleasure-filled times, however, it wasn¡¯t him. He didn¡¯t look at me like that. I remembered Distria¡¯s red eyes. ¡°No.¡± Touch. I rubbed the spot he touched again. There were countless teeth marks on my body that could not be erased even by rubbing. That was disgusting. Still, the pain and disgust he inflicted submerged all other emotions. I didn¡¯t know when it would come up again if I touched it, but I was pretty satisfied with it now. Taking the dagger that Acacia gave me from under the bed, I looked at the blade that did not rust even after leaving it alone for a long time. Then, I turned towards the flowers he had planted. The leaves were still fresh, but the scent was gone. There was no scent, but the splendor was still there. Can such a thing be called a flower? It was bizarre. I touched the tip of the dagger and tucked it under her pillow. It wasn¡¯t the time yet. ¡­Not yet. I didn¡¯t know what I was waiting for. As I sat on my bed and glanced out the window, the door suddenly opened. The door opened suddenly without knocking, I was startled, thinking that the person standing in front of me was Distria. I closed my eyes. I heard the door lock. A strange hand covered my lips. It was not Distria. I opened my eyes. My eyelashes trembled in tension. I saw the blonde man still wearing an apprentice knight uniform. I had never seen him before. He looked at me with greedy eyes. Oh. Those eyes. I liked greedy eyes¡­ wanting my body and chasing after pleasure. The man¡¯s finger went into my mouth. He messed up my mouth and clasped my tongue. Taking off the pure white dress that Distria had put on, he bit my breasts. The neatly worn clothes were easily removed by the man¡¯s hand. I had no intention of rebelling, nor did I have the strength to resist, so I relaxed my body. ¡°Were you waiting?¡± I turned my head without saying a word. The finger that had entered my mouth turned downward. He caressed my bottom with his fingers that were wet with saliva. With a few gestures, my insides were wet. I did not rebel like I was dead. Looking at the roughly braided blonde hair, I thought of Acacia, who had quite a long hair. ¡®¡­.¡¯ I couldn¡¯t remember a time when he had long hair. The man grabbed my legs and spread them out. He hurriedly pushed himself in and moved. It was just that. It was lukewarm, neither strong nor weak. I couldn¡¯t concentrate on having s*x with him. I was in a hurry to think of Acacia, who had neatly tied his hair with a black string. ¡°Ha¡­ hu¡­¡± The man who was moving himself on top of me kissed my swollen cheek. ¡°Some bastard did this.¡± Your Emperor did this. ¡°To touch your pretty face¡­ For kids like you, your face is life itself.¡± Your Emperor did this. A few moves, a few moans and he came. I watched him move without much emotion. The stranger walked out of the room with a satisfied face. He left one more mark on my already mottled body. __ Chapter 57 Chapter 57 ¨C What Love (6) I was awakened by the rustle and touch in my hair. As I watched my hair slipping out of someone¡¯s grip, I bit the soft flesh of my mouth, wondering if it was a dream. It hurt, it wasn¡¯t a dream. ¡°Who¡­¡± However, my voice didn¡¯t come out right. I touched my lips with my fingers. Cracked lips. I was aware of the heat in the hot breath leaking out of my mouth. The stranger did not answer my question. A cold towel touched my head. ¡°Shhh¡­ Get some more sleep.¡± My ears were buzzing, and I couldn¡¯t hear the voice. Even though I tried to force myself to open my eyes, the stranger¡¯s hand closed them. In addition, the weight of my eyes was heavy. ¡°Ah¡­ wh¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t finish my words, but I fell asleep. The night passed like that. Distria came early in the morning. After stroking my chapped lips and swollen cheeks, he kissed me. The blanket came down. He gazed at my naked body and turned towards the white dress tucked in a mess in one corner. ¡°¡­Did you take off the clothes I gave you?¡± He looked uncomfortable. I didn¡¯t answer his question. As he ran his fingers down slowly as if examining my body, he pointed with his finger at the red mark he hadn¡¯t left. ¡°¡­Who is it?¡± I turned my head. When I didn¡¯t answer, Distria grabbed my chin. His hands forced me to turn my head. I grabbed his hand with both hands as I didn¡¯t want to look him in the eyes. My hands trembled as I tried hard not to look at him. Distria removed his hand from my chin. My hand that was holding it trembled. He lifted the dress that was stuck in the corner. Riipp. It was messed with semen, and the fabrics attached to it ripped with a sound. Distria threw the rags dress. ¡°Ha. You don¡¯t want to see my face anymore.¡± ¡°No. Get out of here.¡± I felt a gaze behind my back. I was sitting, still looking at the wall. Creak. The bed made a noise. As Distria went out, I could hear the door slam shut. The sound of footsteps became fainter as time passed. When I couldn¡¯t hear the sound, I could let out a rough breath. The action I just showed was an act that deserved a hit. However, he didn¡¯t hit me. What tune did he want me to dance to? I hated his suffocating gap. I didn¡¯t understand. Letting out a heavy breath, I shut my eyes and pulled the blanket all the way over. My heart was beating aimlessly. Was he scared? I shook my head. ¡­No. No. My fingertips trembled. Acacia banged his head on the floor. ¡°I had no intention of blaming you. Raise your head. It¡¯s not your fault.¡± His worry met my eyes, but strangely, nothing happened. Like something was broken in me, I couldn¡¯t feel anything, and the worries I had while thinking of Acacia faded away. Would I feel bad if I met his worried gaze? I thought it was going to be worse. Perhaps, I was broken so I couldn¡¯t feel anything. Had my concern dulled my sympathy? An unknown question ran through my mind. It keeps on going round and round in my head. Or was I going crazy? ¡°Stop.¡± I got out of bed and sat down in front of Acacia. I stroked his hair gently and touched his bruised cheeks. Acacia slowly raised his head. Seeing him crying, I met his eyes filled with a deep sense of guilt. Tears welled up in his eyes and dripped down his cheeks and to the floor. ¡°Forgive¡­ Forgive me.¡± Like he didn¡¯t know how to cry, he cried like a child crying for the first time. I wiped away his tears. I hugged Acacia and patted him soothingly. I didn¡¯t really care. I brooded over the words that I couldn¡¯t bear to say. I didn¡¯t want to disappoint those who cared about me and those who believed in me. Like shackles leading me to the floor, I kept stopping those words from coming out. I couldn¡¯t say anything, as if a thorn had grown in my mouth. ¡®I don¡¯t want to disappoint you.¡¯ Thump. My heart raced. I felt something was wrong. ¡­Wrong, this was a strange feeling. Why? I said I loved Rewan, although I easily lost him. I chose pleasure instead. My lips parted forcibly from a certain impulse. ¡°No.¡± The word did not contain my will. Acacia gazed at me. I turned my head, not wanting to look him in the eyes. As I parted my cracked lips and let out what I had to say, it was an uncontrollable feeling. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± I couldn¡¯t guess what kind of expression Acacia would look at me. In that brief moment of silence, his hands on the floor trembled. ¡°¡­Is that so.¡± I raised my head at the plain words that contained no disappointment or criticism. Suddenly, tears fell onto the back of my hand. Were they Acacia¡¯s tears? I glanced at him. Acacia wasn¡¯t crying. Instead, he reached out his hand and wiped away the tears flowing from my eyes. I couldn¡¯t imagine how long it had been since I last cried. ¡°¡­Why? What? Why am I crying?¡± My hand, which wiped away my own tears, trembled. My heart, which I thought was broken, was in a fuss. I didn¡¯t even know how I felt and how I was crying. ¡°It¡¯s my¡­ fault.¡± ¡°Arne.¡± He called me with a calm voice. My eyesight was blurry. I covered my face with both hands. ¡°¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡± I spat an apology out of my mouth. I apologized to whom I did not know. My mind was confused. Hot air leaked out of my mouth. Collapsing, I leaned my face on Acacia¡¯s shoulder. I felt the tears flowing and closed my eyes. It hurt. My body ached so much. I exhaled incessantly. I needed warmth. I held Acacia¡¯s hand tightly. He occasionally wiped my sweaty forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. ¡°¡­Don¡¯t go.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I grabbed a handful of his body heat. It felt like the warmth would disappear when I opened my eyes. As I thought so, my chest crumbled without a sound. I didn¡¯t even know how or where it was broken. I would get lost and confused for a while and get used to the pleasures that fill my body again. ¡­As always. Tap. Seeing a bundle of cloth on the floor, I turned my head. Distria was standing there looking at me with indifferent eyes. With trembling hands, I pulled on the cloth. A man who was white¡­ I was startled and took a step backwards. I took a step back and tripped on the bed before collapsing. ¡°Haa¡­ ha.¡± I looked at Distria with a shocked expression. ¡°¡­What.¡± As he lowered his head and grabbed my chin, he fixed my eyes intently. I couldn¡¯t even think of avoiding his gaze. Distria laughed softly. ¡°Now, you¡¯re looking at me.¡± Creak. Distria, who propped up his arms on the bed, kissed me. It was a long kiss, as if he didn¡¯t care about the corpse next to him. His hand touched my waist. His hand, which had been touching the scar on my thigh, came up to my chest. ¡°I think your feelings are hurt because of that bastard.¡± ¡°So, you killed him?¡± Contrary to the light tone of speech, the content was heavy. Distria nodded as though he wanted me to see it. Slowly, I turned my head and faced the cold head. Distria¡¯s lips touched my chest. He lifted the thin clothes with his lips and licked my breasts. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°You¡¯re crazy.¡± ¡°I know.¡± Distria¡¯s hand, which had been stroking my chest, touched my neck. His fingers strangled me lightly. ¡°I want to kill you for preventing me from judging me rationally.¡± His fingers tightened around my neck. I gazed into his eyes before closing my eyes at the mysterious eyes that I couldn¡¯t understand. There was no hatred in it. It wasn¡¯t the eyes looking at the person he wanted to kill. ¡°However¡­¡± The power that had been holding me down was released. I looked at him. ¡°I wish you lived. Struggle as much as you can and live.¡± The light-hearted tone returned to seriousness. Those unknown eyes were once again filled with the feeling of disgust. Distria got away from above me. He bent down and picked up the cloth on the floor. ¡°I¡¯ll go for now.¡± An unknown person. An unknown time. Unknown. Since when did the end become unknown? I was helpless. The footsteps of those who came to see me while guarding the room suddenly stopped at some point. That must be Distria¡¯s doing. Staring blankly at the sky, I turned my head at the unfamiliar sight. It was someone I didn¡¯t know. As his large hands clasped my neck, he ran his lips all over my body. I stared blankly at the ceiling. Excited breath, eyes wet with excitement, and hot body¡­ All were things I liked. ¡°Haa¡­ ha¡­¡± However, why was it that the stuttering touches seemed like bugs were crawling? I didn¡¯t understand. Wasn¡¯t this something I liked? Wasn¡¯t this the place I wanted to go? The man pulled away from me, preparing for insertion. What kind of impulse was it? I took out the dagger I had tucked under my pillow. I couldn¡¯t remember the parts that Acacia pointed out while holding the dagger. I swung randomly. Slash. There was the sound of something being cut. I couldn¡¯t guess which part I cut, so I closed my eyes. There was hot liquid on my hand. My head ached from the smell of blood. My heart was pounding. ¡°Aarrrghh¡­!¡± When a sharp scream rang in my ears, I closed my eyes tightly and swung the dagger wildly once more. Riip. Every time I stabbed it deeply, the liquid splashed out and smeared somewhere on my body. The body of the person who had cooled down fell onto my thigh. Dirty. It was terrible. I couldn¡¯t even think of opening my eyes. A few times, I swung the dagger at random against the dead. There was no way a dead person could speak though it sounded like an inaudible scream. What happened to me? What was wrong with me? ¡°Arne.¡± A soft voice suddenly reached my ears, and a warm body temperature enveloped my body. As he gripped my trembling fingertips, I turned my head. Our eyes met. Tears welled up and flowed from my eyes. Why was I crying? I didn¡¯t deserve to cry. ¡°Good job.¡± Acacia snatched the dagger from my hand. He moved the cold body from above me. I grabbed his collar. ¡°I am the one who killed him.¡± ¡°¡­Huhu.¡± ¡°I killed him. Arne.¡± __ Chapter 58 Chapter 58 ¨C What Love (7) The room, which I expected to be crowded soon, was still silent. Whatever happened, I couldn¡¯t see the scene in front of me for a moment. I woke up to the strong smell of blood. The sound of my heart beating at regular intervals rang in my ears. Step, step. The sound of footsteps got closer and closer. As the room was filled with the scent of blood, my heart was beating with a thump. I grabbed Acacia¡¯s collar with my hands trembling. ¡®¡­What have I done?¡¯ Someone¡¯s foot stepped on the threshold. I slowly raised my head and looked at the person who had arrived. The cool red gaze reached me. Tears flowed and I let out a groan through my mouth. ¡°Huuu¡­¡± ¡°I killed him.¡± Acacia¡¯s voice echoed behind me. His body temperature, which had given me a strange sense of security, had moved away. Angrily, I grabbed his arm. Acacia looked at my trembling hands, then covered his hand around mine. Distria¡¯s gaze at that scene was strange. He lifted the body. ¡°It¡¯s not neat for what you stabbed.¡± Distria dropped the body while his gaze fell on the corpse¡¯s face. ¡°Do you know who this is?¡± In a moment of shock, I shook my head as tears fell to the floor. Distria walked towards me. He casually stepped on the blood shed by the corpse. Every step he took was marked with bloodstains before he grabbed my chin. ¡°Arne, he is the son of someone in a position you could never imagine.¡± Acacia¡¯s right arm that gripped his sword grew stronger. I shook Distria¡¯s hand from my chin, covered my lips and turned my head. I faced Acacia¡¯s sharp gaze. My body trembled. ¡°Already¡­ such a tattered body¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t hear Distria¡¯s words properly. My heart thumped and thumped. I grabbed Acacia¡¯s arm with my other hand and hastily shook my head. ¡®¡­No. No. Please don¡¯t.¡¯ My heart thumped again. Distria¡¯s gaze reached me. He, who had his back turned and was getting further away, turned his head again. ¡°¡­If you kill someone like this, I¡¯ll be in trouble. Isn¡¯t it, Acacia?¡± As soon as he finished speaking, Distria¡¯s gaze shifted to Acacia. ¡°It¡¯s me.¡± At that moment, I jumped up. I came to the distance between Acacia and Distria. My body trembled aimlessly and I coudl feel Acacia¡¯s gaze behind me. Distria looked at me. ¡°I killed him.¡± My hand that was holding Acacia trembled. Then, I let go of his hand, which I was holding tightly so as not to convey the trembling and grabbed Distria¡¯s hand. ¡°I killed him. What should I do now?¡± In this situation, a laugh that I don¡¯t know why leaked out. His lips curled into a smile as I trembled. ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Yes? What should I do?¡± ¡°You¡¯re crazy.¡± Distria lightly let go of my hand. He glanced at the corpse with cold eyes and turned his back. Was I crazy? What was I doing in this place where I had found joy? I was out of my mind. As I thought so, I tried to ignore the smell of blood vibrating in the room. I closed my eyes. Ah, since when did this happen? The handmaid carefully wiped the blood spattered here and there. I blankly watched the process. The marks were easily erased and disappeared though the stains on my chest did not seem to fade. Standing in Distria and Acacia¡¯s way was certainly an impulsive act. There were already many people who I had ruined for my pleasure¡­ I didn¡¯t want to add Acacia to the crowd. I stared blankly at the ceiling. Since when did it get so twisted? Ever since I came into this story without thinking¡­? The handmaids dried my hair with a sincere touch. It wasn¡¯t the silk one-piece dress I always wore, but it was a completely different outfit. After finishing the dressing, the handmaids left. I raised my hand and touched the red cloth around my eyes. Soon, I undid the cloth and glanced around Distria¡¯s room. As I moved my steps slowly towards the window, the view was good. When I opened the window, lukewarm air rushed in along with the sound of people laughing. The next moment, the door opened with a rattling sound and Distria grabbed me by the waist with great force. ¡°You¡­¡± My body fell backwards towards Distria. I could feel his wet upper body behind my back so I turned and looked at him. He looked bewildered. The sound of his heart beating rang in my ears. ¡°Did you want to die?¡± It was not like that. The eyes that had been filled with bewilderment sank into anger as he held my hand. It ran from my fingertips to my arms and shoulders, then down to my toes. He let out a deep sigh and locked me tightly in his arms. That thump again. Was it the sound of my heart beating? Or could it be the sound of his heart beating¡­? I rested my chin on Distria¡¯s shoulder. When he reached out and put his arm around my shoulder, I stroked his hard shoulders. ¡°Why? Were you afraid that I would die?¡± I reached out and touched Distria¡¯s cheek. He turned his head and stared at me with indifferent eyes and grabbed my hand as I touched his cheek. ¡°No way.¡± Our lips touched. His tongue came all over my mouth. He grabbed my head with one hand and squeezed it with the other. The sound of the heart beating echoed from the tightly close body. Distria¡¯s lips came down. It left another clear mark on my neck, which was now gradually getting erased. He traced my shoulder line with his tongue and grabbed both of my arms. I could feel the damp breath on my back. With his lips, he undid the ribbon hanging from my waist. The pressure on my body disappeared, and my clothes fell lightly. A warm breath ran down my back and down. ¡°Ha¡­¡± He grabbed my ankle with a gentle hand before biting the tip of my toe and ran his tongue through the gap. Distria¡¯s tongue climbed up my thigh again. He got between my thighs and licked the inside with his lips. ¡°Ha-ung¡­ Haa. Ang!¡± ¡°Kuh¡­ A lot has changed, Arne.¡± Distria¡¯s tongue licked around my navel. He licked my lower chest again and then came up and bit my n*pple. Our eyes met. Disgust and hatred¡­ At that time, all that had disappeared, leaving only obsession and desire. He stretched out his hand and wrapped it around my waist before holding me softly and carrying me to the bed. I let out a quick breath and looked up at him. He swept my chest as he took off the thin gown. He took my hand and put it in his mouth. ¡°You are my own.¡± The purring, low voice of the beast reached my ears. He gnawed on my ears and made my already soaked bottom even wetter. I let out a hot breath. Whatever he said, I expected pleasure from him. I shut my eyes. ¡°You¡¯re mine.¡± I opened my eyes to the clear, obsessive voice. He looked at me with a look of excitement. As his p*nis stabbed deeply into me in one go, I shuddered at the size, which seemed to be bigger than the last time we had sex. ¡°Hah¡­ ah¡­!¡± He grabbed my shoulders with both hands and stabbed me deeply every time he moved. He drove me like a man chasing something. The bed rocked. I made eye contact with him. Red eyes burning with longing reached every corner of my body. The place where his eyes reached was as hot as if burnt. ¡°Huuht¡­ ang! Ah¡ªah.¡± My head went white from the intense stimulation. My vision flickered¡ªgone and came back¡ªlike a broken light bulb, it went off and on again and again. This was the pleasure I wanted. I was the one who came after pleasure. If I only have what I want, what meaning will my surroundings had? As I remembered them, I closed my eyes. Every time he moved, a vivid pleasure dominated my mind. When I opened my eyes again, they didn¡¯t come to mind anymore. ¡°Hhng¡­ Huht.¡± Distria swallowed my lips. He gasped at the rapturous stimulation and eagerly coveted my lips. I responded to his movement, moving my hips. His touch reached everywhere. ¡­Yes. This was what I wanted. I didn¡¯t need anything else. ¡®I don¡¯t need love, loyalty, trust, or faith.¡¯ Don¡¯t sway me anymore¡­ Finally, I came to my senses at the climax that exploded like a firecracker. Blink. The light faded, only darkness remains. My vision was bright. I was lying in a familiar room and saw the familiar red hair. Closing my eyes, I opened them again. I blinked my eyes with a blank look. ¡°Are you awake?¡± Seeing him again after a long time, he was a little emaciated. While I laid on my back, avoiding his gaze, I heard Lepis¡¯ voice. ¡°¡­He is dead.¡± I seemed to know who it was without even saying it. Lepis got up and sat down on the bed, andI turned my head to face him. Even when he told me that he was dead, I was calmer than I thought. I had already been swept away, and there was nothing left. What filled me anyway was pleasure, not love. It was just for a moment that I got lost. It was just for a moment that I got lost in emotions that were more overwhelming than I thought. The love I felt for a moment was not even a short pleasure. I constantly tested people and put them to the test. At every moment of that choice, I forsook love and chose pleasure. The story was already over. ¡­He was going to die anyway. I turned my head again and gazed at the wall. ¡°¡­Arne.¡± Lepis called my name. ¡°Arne.¡± Again. ¡°Arne!¡± Soon, he grabbed my shoulders with strong force. My gripped shoulder hurt. He was always gentle¡­ Lepis¡¯s eyes met mine. My heart throbbed as seeds sprouted as if something was blooming in the wasteland. ¡°¡­I was foolish.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡­¡± My mouth hit Lepis¡¯ lips. ¡®Don¡¯t worry about me. Your worries, your love, and your apologies were nothing to me.¡¯ I reached out and wrapped my hands around his waist. I chased Lepis, who pulled his body and poked around his mouth, mixed our soft tongues before he pressed his soft flesh with my tongue. I undid the button that was fastened all the way to his neck. Under his half-unbuttoned shirt, the lines of his muscles ran down his body. ¡®¡­Don¡¯t love me anymore. Don¡¯t look at me with those lovely eyes.¡¯ Flop. Lepis, who was laid on his back, looked despair. As he closed his eyes, tears ran from his closed eyes. When he opened his eyes again, there was nothing in his eyes looking at me. ¡­No love, no guilt, no worries, nothing. Alas, what a beautiful sight. I licked away the flowing tears. All I wanted was pleasure. I didn¡¯t need anything else. At the same time, the sound of something breaking resounded. ¡­I don¡¯t know what that is. I don¡¯t know. __ Chapter 59 Chapter 59 ¨C What Love (8) That day, Lepis rejected a relationship with me to the end. With empty eyes, he left the room. He didn¡¯t love me anymore, so he couldn¡¯t sleep with me? It was a pity that he didn¡¯t love me and that I couldn¡¯t sleep with him anymore. That was it. Several days have passed since then. I moved to a room next to Distria. Did they say that it was the room the Emperor¡¯s concubine used? Even so, strangers¡¯ visits became frequent. I slept with anyone who came. They reached out and touched my body. Thoughtless pleasure¡­ Just like when Arne became a fool. I acted like a fool a little prematurely, that way, I could have s*x with other people a little more comfortably. I slept with everyone. Marionette or whatever I was being manipulated by the original story. Wasn¡¯t it enough to just have the pleasure I wanted? I thought so. The typical bright morning. Then came the night, sleeping with strangers, and it was morning again¡­ I glanced at the empty space. Tap, tap. I sat down on the desk and tapped the window with my finger. The door opened. Today, without fail, a stranger came to the room with Distria. As I faced him with unfocused eyes, Distria¡¯s expression hardened. Wasn¡¯t this what he wanted? I closed my eyes and smiled. Distria¡¯s voice reached my ears. Why did he care about me when he looked so contemptuous? ¡°Disgusting.¡± Distria spoke softly. The next moment, the stranger put me to bed. He checked my pulse and did some tests before shaking his head. ¡°Is there anything wrong, why can¡¯t you talk?¡± ¡°The body is normal, but there might be a problem with the mind?¡± ¡®I¡¯m not normal¡­ so am I crazy?¡¯ I wasn¡¯t sure either. I gave the stranger a smile. ¡°Get out.¡± Saying so, Distria stared at me. Sitting down on the bed I was lying on, he let out a low sigh before his voice reached my ears. ¡°I killed the man you had s*x with two days ago.¡± Who was it¡­? I couldn¡¯t remember whom I had slept with. As I couldn¡¯t remember, I just glanced up at the back of Distria¡¯s head without saying a word. He got up and buried his face in my shoulder, gently stroking my thigh. ¡°I also killed the man you had s*x with the other day.¡± When he grabbed my hand, Distria turned his head towards me and put his lips on my fingertips. ¡°I killed all the bastards who slept with you, regardless of rank.¡± As he licked my fingers with his tongue, the red tongue parted between the gaps in my hands. Because of that, the gaps were glistening with Distria¡¯s saliva. I didn¡¯t feel any emotion at the death he was talking about. I thought it was just about one supporting character dying. In my mind, they were no longer human. ¡°Don¡¯t tempt anyone like this.¡± When he tugged at my hand, my body was pulled with great force. He sat me on his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist. Distria¡¯s breath on my shoulder was hot. ¡°I¡¯m going to kill all the bastards who slept with you.¡± I turned my head at the words that were overflowing with obsession. Soon, Distria¡¯s gaze landed on my thigh, and he swept the spot where the dark mark was left. ¡°I have to erase this.¡± All of a sudden, he grabbed my hand and pulled me with great force. I was almost dragged along by his hasty steps. The place we arrived was in front of a huge door. Putting his hand on it, he muttered something. The next moment, the huge door opened. I passed by the neatly displayed objects. As he walked into the vault without hesitation, Distria led me through the maze of safes by his hand. His steps stopped abruptly. [ Elixir ] My head went blank. I watched Distria¡¯s actions with an unbelievable feeling. He poured all the elixir into my mouth without leaving a single drop. Although the empty bottle fell to the floor, the container was made of special material, so it rolled on the floor without breaking. Distria grabbed my chin and kissed my lips, causing the sweet and bitter liquid ran down my throat. As he touched my clean thighs, the corners of his mouth curled in an arc from satisfaction. ¡°Nothing is wasted on you.¡± He reached out and touched my shoulder. It was clean, like the mark had never been there. He spread my hands out and looked at my palms. The ugly scars were also gone as well. ¡®¡­It¡¯s gone.¡¯ Gone Leaving no trace. Nothing. I stared blankly at my palm and looked up at Distria. The traces of who I was were gone. The mark that seemed like a badge of honor disappeared without a trace. I stared at my cleansed palm for a long time as I was dragged along by him. It doesn¡¯t make any sense. It doesn¡¯t make any sense. It doesn¡¯t make any sense. Just because Distria erased the tattoos, would anything change? As he said, I seduced those who did not come into the room outside, and I slept with anyone and everyone. Sometimes outside, sometimes inside, and sometimes with multiple people¡­ I didn¡¯t care about other people¡¯s eyes. In their eyes, I was just a crazy person. Now I was curious about Lepis with dead eyes. What was he doing? Now, I was curious about the invisible Acacia. What was he doing? Now, I was curious about Rewan¡¯s last appearance. What was he thinking when he died? I was the one who said I didn¡¯t need any love, trust, or loyalty. Was it selfish to wonder what he was doing now? Would it be strange if I was curious about his end¡­? It was the result I wanted. It was the future I wanted, yet why did it feel so empty? ¡°Kuht¡­ good.¡± I looked at the man, who was groaning with excitement. He reached out his hand and wiped the sweat from my forehead before kissing me on the lips and pushing me down. As I gasped for breath at the stimulation that penetrated me deeply from behind, I reached out and grabbed the sheet. The thoughts I had a moment ago faded from the excessive pleasure¡­ It was the pleasure that filled me. I didn¡¯t need anything else. ¡®¡­I don¡¯t need it.¡¯ Late at night, I met Distria after returning from work. He grabbed my legs and spread them apart as he touched the inside. The sloppy sem*n of which I didn¡¯t know whom it belonged to, was pushed out of my love juice. He slapped me on the cheek and kicked me in the stomach. The one-sided beating drove me to the far corner of the room, gasping for breath in pain. Distria grabbed my hair, and I met his furious gaze. I just laughed. When he threw me away, I fell to the floor like a powerless paper doll. With my lowered vision, I could see him moving his legs. A low sigh came. ¡°Hey, what more can I do, Arne? Do you want me to kill all the nobles here? Huh? Say something.¡± I crawled towards his legs and licked his toes. He didn¡¯t move and only stared at me. ¡°Do you want to die by provoking me like that?¡± I took a breath at the wavering hateful gaze. Something I didn¡¯t know¡­ It felt as if the hidden truth had been discovered. ¡®Do I want to die?¡¯ Sneer, I laughed. Why were people so selfish? I¡¯d been chasing pleasure. Would I want to die because I didn¡¯t like it? What did I not like? All I wanted was pleasure¡­ but what was wrong with me? Distria¡¯s shimmering eyes reached me. He held my neck with one hand, causing my feet to fall off the floor. Short of breath, I just closed my eyes. I wanted my life to end like this. The ending was different from what I thought. This was not the end I wanted. Then, what was it? As he put me on the bed with great force, my body bounced once upon impact. I took in a rough breath. Distria grabbed me by the shoulders and, without warning, put himself inside. My body thumped, and my brain flashed. ¡°Kuhk, ha-ugh¡­ uh¡­uuhht.¡± Drip. Tears flowed. Distria wiped away the tears running down my cheeks. He called my name. ¡°Arne.¡± He put my legs on his shoulders and rammed his p*nis deeply. He carved me deeply and furiously inside. The bed rocked as I rolled up the duvet sheet and held it. ¡°¡­Arne.¡± ¡°Haa¡­¡± Distria¡¯s low voice reached my ears. Excited breathing sound, tongue running along my earlobes. ¡°Cry more. I want to hear your voice.¡± He inserted his finger into my mouth and stirred it. ¡°Haa¡­ ang. Ah! Ang!¡± As he called my name, he pulled himself and turned upside down. Distria lifted my knees and put me on the stomach again. Pleasure filled my body enough to make my body bend again. Distria¡¯s teeth lodged in my shoulder. ¡°Ahng¡­. Hu-uhk¡­Aahh!¡± I moaned according to his movement. While he held my hair in one hand, he grabbed my hair and pulled it with force. We kissed for a long time. The only thing I could hear was the sound of heavy breathing and the sound of him thrusting in. He occasionally whispered my name in my ear. A deep desire flickered in his eyes as he lusted after me passionately. ¡°¡­Arne.¡± ¡°Huht¡­ hnng.¡± ¡°Arne.¡± He stopped moving and hugged me. The sound of breathing and the sound of heartbeats were heard instead. ¡°¡­I love you.¡± Even in his humble confession, even on lips that whisper love, even with his affectionate gaze¡­ ¡­I didn¡¯t feel anything. I felt nothing. I closed my eyes. ¡®¡­What do I want?¡¯ Day and night, I had s*x with Distria while he did all his work from my bedroom. Occasionally, when he had to leave for a long time, he would tie me to the bed. ¡°Please, stay still. Don¡¯t sleep with anyone else besides me.¡± I gazed at Distria with blank eyes. ¡°Don¡¯t drive me crazy.¡± He stroked my cheek with a soft touch, and my body moved in response to his touch. The metal ring tied to my wrist rang out. Distria touched my wrist. He put his lips on the back of my hand and caressed my shoulder where the now-disappearing scar was. ¡°I¡¯ll be back.¡± Distria exited the bedroom. A boring time then passed. I glanced out the window at the clouds. I liked a life that flowed without thinking. It was a life with only the pleasures I wanted. ¡­So, why didn¡¯t I like it now? There was something missing, but I didn¡¯t know what it was. __ Chapter 60 Chapter 60 ¨C What Love (END) Tip, tap. The rain knocked on the window. As I looked up at the rainy sky and opened the window, I stretched out my hand and touched the rain. The raindrops hit the back of my hand and flowed down my fingertips. Distria reached out and grabbed me by the waist. He threw me on the bed. The window closed with a loud bang. He came closer to me and slapped me on the cheek. Once, then twice. Still, I didn¡¯t even scream and just watched him silently slap my cheek. Distria¡¯s expression hardened as he came close to me before he locked me between the bed and his arms. ¡°Tell me. Do you want to die?¡± He lowered his head, kissed me, and bit my lips. A sharp pain spread. ¡°Say whatever you like, die whatever it is.¡± It was just one-sided violence. I didn¡¯t mean to die. The floor was a mess of scattered papers. It was crushed and torn and rolled about on the floor. The next moment, Distria took off his shirt. He threw away the shirt casually, his eyes burning with hate. ¡°Ha¡­ I want to kill you.¡± He hugged me. The thumping sound of his heart came to me. He stroked my hair and gave me a gentle look. He called my name sweetly, as he would do to a lover. He was adept at hiding and controlling his emotions. I was taken aback by the sudden change of atmosphere. ¡°Arne.¡± Distria grabbed my chin. He kissed me greedily while the maddened eyes stared intently at me. He clenched the cut in my mouth and swallowed the blood that flowed out. The taste of the liquid on the tip of my tongue was sharp. Like swallowing something sweet¡­ ¡°Don¡¯t think about dying.¡± His hand wrapped around my neck. He slowly stretched his hand. His fingertips ran down my neck. chest, belly, and thighs. He stroked the insides and raised my legs to rub them. Then, he kissed the back of my foot. ¡°When the time comes, I will kill you myself.¡± He grabbed my hand and placed his lips on the back of my hand. ¡°So, don¡¯t die.¡± I couldn¡¯t fathom Distria¡¯s heart. In what sense was he doing this to me? I didn¡¯t believe his words when he said that he loved me. He was adept at faking his emotions. He couldn¡¯t love me like that. It was a dreary night. It was late at night when I opened my eyes. Distria was nowhere to be seen beside me or in the room. Creak. Like I was running away, I opened the door and went out. I didn¡¯t know where I was going or where I wanted to go. My footsteps moved on their own. My thighs hurt the whole time I walked. My cheek hurt from being hit by him. I arrived at the place where I had originally stayed. My heart was beating with a thumping sound, and I opened the door. There were still fresh flowers. This was my trace. As I reached out and grabbed the flower, Acacia¡¯s words reached my ears like hallucinations. ¡°The language of this flower is ¡®Atonement¡¯.¡± Just like Acacia, who silently disappeared. The flowers crumbled from my fingertips. Startled at the flowers, which withered from where my fingertips touched, I removed my hand. I stared blankly at the empty vase where the flowers had withered without a trace. ¡°Ha¡­ haha.¡± The flowers were my heart. The vase was my trace, and the withered marks dispersed and disappeared with a breath¡­ My heart went blank, and only the traces remained. What was it? My tears flowed down. ¡®I will become a knight for you.¡¯ Thank you for giving your strength to someone like me. ¡®I will not ask you to love me. Just let me love you.¡¯ Thank you for loving me. For loving someone like me ¡®Why! Why did you save me by going through such a cruel humiliation?¡¯ I love you. I repeated the truth that I couldn¡¯t say. I sat down on the floor. Drip. Tears flowed incessantly. The only trace of me was an empty vase in the room. When I looked at my palms, there was nothing. Why did I realize this so late? Just as I realized my love for Rewan irreversibly too late. Why did I realize it now? I wish I hadn¡¯t realized it. Why do I want to become a human now¡­? I don¡¯t want to live like this anymore. I don¡¯t want to live without thinking like this anymore. I don¡¯t want to live only for pleasure. I don¡¯t want to live like a beast¡­ When I didn¡¯t know, I didn¡¯t know that love, trust, and faith could fill my inside. I was afraid and just ran away. Like a person experiencing rain for the first time, I was afraid of the vivid touch and ran away. ¡­I was stupid. I was wrong. It was all me. I ruined everything Sitting down, I shed nothing but tears before finally standing up. As I put my hand under the pillow, I cut my hand at the sharp touch and hurriedly put the pillow away. The dagger that Acacia gave me¡­ It was as if I had found a piece of warmth in a deep and long dark tunnel. Tears poured out again as something filled me with tears. Flutter. A sheet of paper fell. It was a simple sentence written in neat handwriting. Even though the sentence was written without much rhetoric, as emotions were overflowing, my hand that picked up the paper trembled. I got up and wiped away the tears. I took the dagger Acacia left behind and walked into the room. The Imperial Palace was in an uproar. When did he get here¡­? My body froze in Distria¡¯s eyes as he looked at me with an angry expression. ¡°If I had known you would come back here, I wouldn¡¯t have dispatched the knights.¡± Saying so, he grabbed my chin with one hand. ¡°My dear Arne. Where have you been? I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off you even for a moment.¡± My hand holding the dagger trembled awkwardly. ¡­I was selfish, unaware of my faults, and only knew how to shift the blame. Even though I had been chasing pleasure, I got what I wanted though I was so selfish that I wanted something else. I want it again. ¡°I¡­¡± ¡°¡­I can hear your voice now.¡± Distria closed the door. ¡°I hate you.¡± I raised the dagger high. Before I had time to stab him, his arm blocked my hand. The great impact of his hand caused the dagger to slip from my grip. The falling dagger was lodged in Distria¡¯s thigh. ¡°Ha¡­ It¡¯s the first time you said that. You hate me?¡± As red blood leaked from his thigh, he pulled out the knife stuck in his thigh. Splat. Even as blood poured out, Distria stared at the dagger slowly before he laughed softly. Sneer. ¡°This dagger is from Acacia. Did you meet him?¡± ¡°No! It¡¯s mine, I have never met him.¡± The next moment, he grabbed me by the wrist as I struggled. I screamed because I hated the sparks pointing to Acacia. I wanted to take back the sword he was holding. It was mine¡­ It belonged to no one else but mine. When I reached out to him, Distria slapped my cheek. ¡°Arne, can¡¯t you even grasp the atmosphere right now? I¡¯m so upset, so shut up. Because I want to kill you.¡± I thumped down on his thigh, which was leaking blood. Splurt. Blood gushed out. His expression was calm as if he wasn¡¯t in pain. Distria stared down at me as if to add. Tears welled up in me. ¡°Die. die¡­! I want you dead.¡± ¡°Has your memory of crying under me gone?¡± The low, serious voice and angry expression when he saw something he didn¡¯t like. I was overcome with that fear. My heart was pounding as if I had entered the beast¡¯s mouth. My lips trembled as I spoke. ¡°¡­No. I never¡­ done that.¡± As Distria threw me onto the bed, I faced his angry gaze. He rode on top of me, causing his blood to soak the sheets. Because of that, the white sheets were stained with blood. ¡°You have to remember.¡± His lips traced my neckline. He held both of my hands up with one hand. He pressed his body against my struggling legs. The blood flowing from his thigh soaked my body. ¡°Arne.¡± Distria grabbed my bottom with the other hand. ¡°If you hate me, I want you to say and act differently. Arne.¡± He smiled brightly as he took out his hand, which had been soaked with love liquid. Distria licked his hand, and he put himself in and moved with all his might. Although his thighs were leaking blood, he was busy thrusting his waist as if he didn¡¯t even feel the pain. ¡°Why are you so wet? Arne.¡± ¡°Hu-ugh¡­ Huht.¡± A squelching sound echoed through the room. Moaning continued to erupt as he stabbed my insides in various ways, and I gasped for breath. ¡°Hah-uht¡­ Aaahht! Ah!¡± I turned my head and put the sheet in my mouth. I don¡¯t want to moan. The thighs that were caught were hot, as if they were burning. Both my hands were let go at some point, and he let go of my hands though I didn¡¯t even think to push him. At the same time, the smell of blood stung the tip of my nose as the blood dripped. ¡°In the name of starting a war.¡± My heart raced. I didn¡¯t want to hear what he said. Distria freed my hand from his hold. ¡°I sent Acacia to the periphery. You will never see him again.¡± Then, he pressed his lips to my neck. He opened his mouth to lick my neck and bit it with his teeth. I shuddered at the sudden pain. As he took out what he had put inside, he had a clean appearance, unlike when he had done a beastly act. Distria grabbed my head. Her ferocious eyes scrutinized me as though tying me down. It was the eye of the beast at the top of the food chain. My body trembled uncontrollably as horror seized me. In a daze, I gazed at Distria¡¯s figure. The Imperial Palace was in an uproar. Slowly, footsteps and people¡¯s voices became louder. Distria took off his shirt and stopped the bleeding on his thighs, which were dripping. He then smiled. ¡°Lepis, who loves you?¡± Something went wrong. His angry look was close to jealousy, like he loved me. He acted like he was fretful about not getting my attention¡­ ¡°He was sent to another place, never to come back.¡± Distria couldn¡¯t love me. Still, what was this emotion reflected in his eyes? What was the situation? Like my brain had stopped, there was only ringing. I knew nothing. I was blank for a momen, and thenn I looked at him. The bedroom door opened, and knights rushed in. Looking at the bloody bedroom, they thrust a spear into my neck. I had no time to feel the fear of death. My lips uttered words of bewilderment. ¡°¡­Do you love me?¡± Distria laughed. The voices of the knights buzzed in my ears. It sounded like nothing. Even in the midst of the noise and bustle, I could only see him. ¡°Arne, I told you I love you.¡± ¡°¡­Why?¡± When the knights grabbed my shoulders, he dismissed everyone who came to his side to treat his wounds. Distria gestured at the knights surrounding me. ¡°Even though I wanted to kill you, I felt like going crazy thinking you weren¡¯t here. I want to have you by my side, but what is it if not love?¡± Distria came to me. Not wanting to hear his story, I closed my eyes and covered my ears. Still, he held my hand gently as he kissed my lips and whispered in my ear. ¡°I love you, Arne.¡± This was a deception towards me. You shouldn¡¯t do this to me. No. __ Chapter 61 Chapter 61 ¨C Carwen de Distria (1) His mother was the Emperor¡¯s mistress. ¡®His¡¯ mother was of low birth and was not suitable to be the Emperor¡¯s lover. Still, he fell in love with ¡®his¡¯ mother¡¯s beauty and brought her, who had a lover, to the Imperial Palace. He stayed up all night trying to get rid of her lover¡¯s child, which she carried with her, and get a second child. The Emperor feared that his mother would leave, maybe she¡¯d die. He wouldn¡¯t even let her go outside until she had a child. In case she took her own life, he put away all sharp objects. A little time passed, and ¡®his¡¯ mother had the Emperor¡¯s child. The whole time she was carrying ¡®him,¡¯ his mother hated the fact that the child she had was the enemy¡¯s child. Each time she screamed at her stomach and cursed at the child inside. ¡°This child¡¯s name is Distria.¡± ¡°But, the meaning of the name¡­¡± ¡°Destroy me, break my heart¡­ I want to kill that child, but I have no choice but to give birth. Can¡¯t I even name it with resentment? What can I do? Am I just a doll? This is the only name suitable for a child. If I can¡¯t even do that, I¡¯ll die.¡± The piercing anger, the hatred she had during the ten months of carrying the child¡­ When she gave birth, she was swept away in pain and wasn¡¯t able to see the child for a while. It was fine if she didn¡¯t see the child. She never went to visit the child as it was already fed by the nurse. Like a doll, she cried in the Emperor¡¯s arms every night. The days continued like that. It was by sheer chance that she saw the child. As soon as she saw him, she thought he knew she was his mother. The way he smiled at her was so cute. He was still a child¡­ Still, she felt hatred. Her lover¡¯s child was dead, but the Emperor¡¯s child, whom she would not be happy with even if he was torn to death, was alive. He didn¡¯t feel like her child, rather, and it was just an object of resentment. Her child was already dead. She thought the child was innocent. She thought so, but since she was a human anyway, she couldn¡¯t get attached to it. However, after seeing the child once, she sometimes became curious about it. She was curious about the child who had taken and lived her own child¡¯s life. So, she went to see the child once a week. Calling her mom was something hateful at first, but after hearing it, she didn¡¯t hate it and came to like it. Then later, she visited the child to hear the sound of ¡®mom.¡¯ That became twice a week, and at some point, she stayed with the child. Maternal love was a learned emotion, like the way the child walked towards her. She gazed at the child who was smiling at him. As she looked at the child, who sometimes burst into tears, she couldn¡¯t help but feel love. ¡­This was her child. My child. Seeing her pouring her love for him, the Emperor promised to make him the Prince. He was blinded by love, and he promised to give her all. Nonetheless, she didn¡¯t believe him and just nodded her head with a nonchalant look. Thus, the Emperor¡¯s lover became the fourth concubine. Of course, there was also a backlash though the Emperor ignored everything. He didn¡¯t even listen. No one knew that the Emperor, who was called an emotionless monster, would love someone so much. That was how much he was devoted to her. He wanted to give his all to the child whom she loved. An honor everyone envied, wealth enough to buy everything in the world, fame, and the Emperor as his father¡­ it was a pretty close family. She laughed at the child, and the Emperor laughed at him. He thought he would be this happy all his life. His mother called him Dia. He grumbled about the girlish name, but he didn¡¯t mind her calling him that. Sometimes when she called his name, he pursed his lips and urged her to call him ¡®Dia.¡¯ Belatedly, his mother felt sorry for not giving the child a proper name. Later, when the child grew up, he would find out that she hated him and gave him such a name. She feared that he would never smile brightly again. His mother was worried about that. ¡°I learned today that the name Distria means ruin.¡± ¡°Mom is sorry. I couldn¡¯t give you a proper name.¡± ¡°Mom. I like my name because you love me with all that hatred. It¡¯s nice to feel the size of mom¡¯s love. I do.¡± He then had a younger sister. He was overjoyed at it. And when he turned eight years old, the terrible method where he had to compete to become an Emperor was revealed. Crash. The bowl in the room was broken. She hit the desk, got angry, and did not even think about tidying up the messy hair. His mother sat down and cried. ¡°You never said anything like that. I don¡¯t know. No. No.¡± Tears flowed from his mother¡¯s eyes. She couldn¡¯t believe the shocking way of competing. ¡°How could our Dia kill someone? How can a person do that? Why are you always lying?¡± ¡°I have a way. Send the child to the West Palace.¡± His mother should not have trusted the Emperor until the end. She sent the child to the West Palace with reluctance, almost grabbing onto his pants. And without knowing why, he was taken to the desolate west palace. It was the beginning of a bitter and cold winter. He hadn¡¯t spent much time with the Emperor. Taken into a stark environment, the child felt uneasy at first. ¡°It is against fairness to do this. I love you. I hope you don¡¯t die.¡± As he said so, the Emperor embraced the child. In this way, the successor training began in secret. And so, misfortune began from a certain greed without anyone knowing. He believed in his father¡¯s love. And in the end, what was love¡­? He stopped knowing what it was like. Was this what love was? Nonsense. He couldn¡¯t believe it. The child who came to the West Palace ate poison from the first day. The amount gradually increased little by little. It was a way to prepare for poisoning, his father said. He ate what his father gave him without saying anything, even though his flesh burned, his throat burned, and indescribable pain plagued him every day. While sick, he sought out his father. ¡°¡­It hurts. Dad, it hurts.¡± The result was a miserable confinement. ¡°You can¡¯t show any signs of being hurt or weak.¡± As He forced himself to eat the poison, which he did not like, he became so sick. In a place where there was no light, he always suffered and ate poison, and when he developed tolerance to it, another poison. He endured it, recalling happy memories from his childhood. To him, who whined that he didn¡¯t want to do it because it hurt so much, his father told him that it was like that, too, when he was little. His father said that he grew up eating poison like this from birth, and they had to create organs that could survive poisoning from an early age. He said it was too late for him to start when seeing him in pain. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be Emperor.¡± The words he couldn¡¯t bear were muttered in his mouth. As much as the pain, his increasingly happy memories were also gradually disappearing. If he missed it and couldn¡¯t go back then, it wouldn¡¯t be any comfort to him now. Rather, he just couldn¡¯t remember it. It was painful because he couldn¡¯t go back to that time. His head wasn¡¯t that clear. The child was interested in liberal arts, and his teacher also praised him for his talent. ¡°What are you doing?¡± The Emperor found him painting in the backyard instead of taking political science classes. It was quite excellent workmanship. He was so excellent that it was worth praise though the Emperor did not do so. Instead, he scolded the child and tore up the painstakingly drawn picture before burning it all ¡°If you want to become Emperor, don¡¯t even dream about this again.¡± The child thought to himself once more. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be Emperor.¡± And painting disappeared from the liberal arts he was learning. His father killed the teacher who was teaching him right in front of the child. At that time, he was ten years old. ¡°You should be able to feel insensitive to the death of others.¡± ¡°You can kill people for no reason. If it doesn¡¯t suit you, you can pull out a knife and kill them. you can do it. You are that kind of person.¡± What kind of person was allowed to kill others? ¡°It is fine in your position because you are a great person. Empty your emotions, and don¡¯t create weaknesses as much as possible. If you see someone in front of you who can shake you enough to become a weakness, cut them down.¡± Were those who had no weaknesses and no emotions human¡­? The Emperor¡¯s cold eyes touched him. He hid his trembling hands behind his back. ¡­This was not the world he knew. It wasn¡¯t. He had a dream that day. The resentful eyes were fixed on him. You killed me. I died because of you. As the child suffered from nightmares for a while, he woke up crying every day. He couldn¡¯t even burst into tears. He lost his mind in a place where no one could see a single light. This was not the world he knew¡­ the world full of love and happiness was gone. It took a very long time to admit this. Since that day, he has killed people with his own hands. Killed in several ways¡ªhe could strangle them, drown them, or burn them to death. When he first strangled someone, he felt guilty and let go of his hands. On the contrary, he almost died, but his father still didn¡¯t help him. It was the start of a dogfight between an orphan wandering on the streets and someone who had been educated. It was obvious who would win. ¡°You did well. If you hadn¡¯t beaten that bastard, I¡¯d have thought twice about the succession again. And this time, you can understand. That clumsy sympathy puts you in danger.¡± The teacher who taught him was stern. He rebuked the child for his lack of clarity and used violence against the child. His father knew the violence inflicted on the child. The child gradually changed. He was naturally kind and appreciated little things, and loved everything. In an instant, his environment changed. Every time he killed someone, if they didn¡¯t die, he would die. And he experienced violence. People had to change. Terribly destructive, violent, and heartless. You said that you love me. You said that you love me. You said that¡­ If his father loved him in the first place, if he wanted to love the child and make him Emperor, his father should have eliminated this heinous way of appointing him as Emperor. His father was not his father¡­ saying that he loved his child was all lies. __ Chapter 62 Chapter 62 ¨C Carwen de Distria (2) He had no time to think of anything, not even time to feel guilty for killing someone. As he became increasingly insensitive, even the happy memories of him no longer came to mind. Swordsmanship in the morning, etiquette and various education in the afternoon¡­ and killing at night. At first, killing someone was excruciatingly difficult though it had become easy now. Every night, he killed the child the Emperor brought to him. The death of others was trivial. He didn¡¯t even have a nightmare. It was different from the time when he vomited and ate nothing after his first murder. Kill if you want to kill, cut if you want to cut. Feeling something disappear inside him, he didn¡¯t even know what it was. His indifferent eyes stared at the bloody floor. Blink. The lights went out. ¡­He had lost something. It was one night. His father looked at him in silence and wept. I only have you. You¡¯re the one. Only you. The Emperor¡¯s mouth smelled of alcohol. He looked at the crying Emperor. He shouldn¡¯t have done this to him. He didn¡¯t like the way the Emperor, who taught himself to control his emotions, was actually crying. Even so, he remembered the Emperor¡¯s love he had forgotten. He stretched out his hand and stroked the Emperor¡¯s large back. Still, the drunk emperor might not remember the warmth that touched his hand. His hand that had touched the emperor was in vain. From that day on, there was no end to the violence inflicted on him. He was driven to death all the time and survived just as he was about to stop breathing. And gradually, the check on the princes began. The Emperor did not appoint him as the Crown Prince. The Emperor didn¡¯t even meet him. He knew in his head that the attention that the Emperor gave to him shouldn¡¯t bud in the first place, it should be cut. He thought the emperor loved him. He believed in the three words the Emperor who poured out his sincerity said while crying¡­ You¡¯re the one. However, excessive sensitivity was poisonous. What was more, he was the son of someone the Emperor loved. All food was poisoned, his escort was always bribed, and assassins visited at night. He killed them all. The boy found the source and killed them all. It was a time of constant checks. Even the Emperor knew this. He yelled at others not to touch him. In fact, he didn¡¯t say anything to him. It was a great love indeed. ¡®Are you okay? I¡¯m glad you weren¡¯t hurt.¡¯ He sneered. This was a play. If it was for him, the Emperor shouldn¡¯t yell at others. The Emperor was taking care of him behind his back, pretending not to know. This was a well-crafted piece of play. Who was he protecting and driving to death? Why was the Emperor so dumb? Why couldn¡¯t he face reality? It was all because of emotions. It was all because of weakness¡­ they made the mind anxious and disturbed emotions. The Emperor said he loved him though exposed him defenselessly to his enemies. In fact, maybe he misunderstood the Emperor. He got anxious. ¡°No, the Emperor loves me.¡± He murmured softly, like brainwashing himself. He thought that the reason why the Emperor was dumbfounded and why he couldn¡¯t face reality was because the Emperor loved him. The boy believed so. He thought he was the Emperor¡¯s weakness. Again, such a day has passed. A day between humanity and inhumanity. Still, he didn¡¯t want to be a monster. He persevered, endured, and waited¡­ he thought of the Emperor who would praise him for finally rising to the throne after enduring the harsh time. It was a piece of humanity he possessed¡­ To believe in the Emperor. It was a piece of his humanity. He thought of those words every time he was swayed. You¡¯re the one. After completing all the training to become an emperor, he had more free time. At the same time as the education was over, he was again subjected to constant checks, although he moved his steps to avoid the unwelcome guests who came today without fail. He went to the detached house where he lived as a child. A bright girl¡¯s voice sounded in his ear. He didn¡¯t even think there would be anyone. ¡°Ung¡­? Who are you?¡± He had an intuition that she was his younger sister, whom he had been separated from without seeing her face when he was young. The child was standing in a dress with frills. She was small and cute. She looked at him, holding a big doll before smiling childishly. ¡°Hmm, oppa?¡± Creaking. His heart was in agony when it stopped for a moment. It couldn¡¯t be. His heart got anxious, and his mind got tumultuous. He didn¡¯t like that there was such an innocent soul in this murderous and bloody place. It was annoying¡­ Yes, that was uncomfortable. ¡°My name is Dia! I¡¯m seven years old! What¡¯s the handsome oppa¡¯s name?¡± The feeling of having his heart broken into pieces and thrown on the floor. It reminded him of a nickname he had forgotten. He listened to the child silently. ¡°Mom¡¯s not here. I¡¯m worried, but there¡¯s Dad! It¡¯s okay. They said that soon there would be a new Emperor, and I¡¯d leave this place. Until then, I have to be patient.¡± Crash. It fell. Something was gone. It was dead¡­ He didn¡¯t like the happy-looking kid. What he believed in was burned. The last remaining piece of humanity was gone. Why did the Emperor lie and say that he was the only one? Why did the Emperor spit those words out of his mouth? Why did the Emperor make him look forward to it? This was the Emperor¡¯s fault, not his¡­ What had been precariously balancing collapsed. Was that why? Those unplanned murders. Was he the Emperor¡¯s weakness? ¡­No. It was he who was dumb, stupid, and unable to face reality. The Emperor didn¡¯t love him, not even a little bit. Staring at the little girl who was bleeding and cooling off, he wondered how his father would react to seeing her dead body. Would the Emperor think he did well? Blame him¡­? He blamed the Emperor instead. Her blood soaked his toes. It rained. Even though he killed his own sister, he still felt nothing. He was a monster now. ¡°Why did you kill this child who knew nothing? She was your sister! It was for your sister!¡± ¡°She was lovely.¡± He interrupted the Emperor. He pretended not to know the beating of his heart, seething with rage as he uttered to the man in front of him as calmly as possible, excluding his emotions. ¡°So, I killed her.¡± The Emperor covered his face with one hand as he held the cooled corpse in his arms. The Emperor¡¯s eyes staring at him went blank. ¡°You taught me this way.¡± ¡°You¡­¡± ¡°You made me this way.¡± Tears flowed from the Emperor¡¯s eyes, but he didn¡¯t feel anything. He felt numb. Even if the emperor looked at him with a hateful gaze, even if the Emperor looked at him with cold and dead eyes, it didn¡¯t matter. How was he before entering the West Palace? It had only been a few years, but he didn¡¯t remember. He left the room, leaving the tearful Emperor behind. Disgusting. Was that the man who educated him? That man looked like a different person. There once was a bird in his garden. The bird did not leave even if he left the window open, so he raised it with joy. The smell of blood didn¡¯t seem to go away even after washing and washing, so how could the bird come to him like this? They spent quite some time together. The bird was by his side even when he was wielding a sword with calluses and even when he was studying until late every day. When he went to an official event or when the Emperor visited, the bird left on its own. He visited the bird every day and fed it. That day was the same as usual. After the official event, he went to the garden. The wing of the bird he was raising was torn, and it was suffering on the floor. ¡°You¡¯re here?¡± ¡°Did father make it like this?¡± ¡°You shouldn¡¯t make something that could be a weakness. Be it animals, people, objects, or places. Nothing. You kill it.¡± At first, he was very sad that he had to kill his favorite bird. It was heartbreaking, but it was fine because that was what his father said. He thought the Emperor was right. The little girl¡¯s body was still in the Emperor¡¯s office. She was lying in a coffin enchanted with an ancient magic that wiped away all the spilled blood and preserved her. This was the girl who would become a weakness. He never lost sight of everything his father taught him. What about the person who taught him that instead? A lot of time had passed since the girl died, yet her body was still lying in the Emperor¡¯s office. He broke the glass with the preservation magic on it and brushed over her hair through the broken glass. Was his mother¡¯s hair color silver? He didn¡¯t remember. All the happy memories¡­ he didn¡¯t remember. As the corpse whose preservation magic was released quickly rotted away, he murmured softly. Disgusting. Time passed, and he became Emperor. It was his foreseen place, yet he wasn¡¯t happy. Since when did his heart die like this? Since when did he stop feeling anything? When he realized the Emperor didn¡¯t love him? When he killed his mother with his own hands? When he cheated on the truth and betrayed the trust of those who believed in him? When he became Emperor after killing all his brothers who were born from another womb? Or when he killed his father¡­? He didn¡¯t remember. Did he have any feelings in the first place? Killing his humanity, killing people¡­ sometimes, he killed people for ridiculous reasons. How many people had he killed for looking happy? He shook his head as he counted. ¡­Too many. He killed too many people. Even so, he saw many people who would kill him. He looked down at the nobles. They were incompetent, couldn¡¯t handle their job properly, and emotions took precedence in everything. He killed them all. They deserved to die. They didn¡¯t deserve this place. He knew he was a cruel person. Even so, he couldn¡¯t stand the feeling that his insides were twisted. ¡°It¡¯s a place where you will be.¡± Sounds like nonsense. Still, the nonsense was comforting to him¡­ but that was what his father said. It was a place he didn¡¯t want. He didn¡¯t want to become Emperor. However, while receiving unwanted education, he lost all of his humanity and was driven to the brink of death¡­ so wasn¡¯t it ridiculous that he couldn¡¯t occupy this place? So, he took the place. It was a position he gained after losing his humanity, losing his family, and losing something. Precious place, precious person¡­ So how far can he go? He wanted to experiment. How much was the value of this place he gained while losing everything? Sometimes, they took away someone else¡¯s person who was loyal, just, and pure. He broke them¡­ that somehow made him feel happy. It made him feel happy that those who were initially upright, true, and stiff in front of power were losing their original light. They just changed according to the situation. They also changed and became monsters, but what about the others? There were no people who would not change in the face of violence. He kept them in check from time to time to make sure he wasn¡¯t wrong by destroying the place he had, the power he had, and others. He was sick. He knew. He knew that, too. He just didn¡¯t know how to get better. Would it be easier if he died? Hell seemed easier to him than this. Rather, if his memory began from a very young age, when he ate poison and became sick, what would have changed? No¡­ No way. He sneered at himself. __ Chapter 63 Chapter 63 ¨C Carwen de Distria (3) The prime ministers of other countries and the priests of faithful temples all changed. All were helpless in the face of death. Everyone was the same in front of too much pain, so he had to change, too. It was not wrong that he had changed. He looked at the priest licking his feet. They had already embraced dozens of men with a body that no one would ever guess for being faithful. They cried and begged for and put dozens of people in them¡­ a face contorted in pain and then a face who had given up. The ever-changing look. Weren¡¯t they eager? In the end, they became a person who lived for pleasure. Happily. Gladly. ¡°Anything is fine, so bring the King of the Kingdom. Ah, I heard that the King of Sorano Kingdom is so beautiful. I wish it were her.¡± ¡°But¡­!¡± ¡°Are you refusing my order now?¡± A week after that, the imperial delegation departed. He looked forward to the day he met her. What about that person in his position? Could she already be broken like him? How crazy would she be? Would her humanity have faded? Where are her flaws? A few encounters and a few humiliations¡­ On one occasion, he openly showed the difference of his and her position, and on one occasion, he gave her a noble¡¯s finger as a gift to honor her. But still, she was upright and unchanging. To take responsibility for her subordinate¡¯s mistakes and to offer up her chastity without saying a word, and be humane and cover mistakes generously¡­ Even so, the way she didn¡¯t lose her dignity was so different from him. He didn¡¯t like that. ¡®The higher you sit, the more you have to bear the weight of the seat. Does it hurt? That¡¯s the weight of your position. Distria.¡¯ She was also in the same position as him¡­ However, they had very different personalities. He didn¡¯t like it. That was why he ruined her country, took away her chastity, and disgraced her. He gave her endless ordeals. He didn¡¯t care who treated her badly. It was hatred, it was a twisted feeling somewhere. It was already too late when he realized that his hatred for her was wrong. He vehemently denied it. It was at that moment that he first realized it, that was when he heard that Arne was about to die. From then on, he sensed something was wrong¡­ it was something he should welcome. He should be glad she chose death¡­ Still, he wasn¡¯t happy. He wasn¡¯t glad. He wanted her to hold on to her life. It was a contradictory feeling to want her not to die when he held her all her life, shook her, and made her want to die. It was just like that. He wished she was alive. It was a feeling with no root and no origin. He touched his throbbing forehead. Was this a weakness? ¡­No. It wasn¡¯t like that. He wanted Arne to be ruined. This was the feeling he felt wanting her to choose death without being properly broken yet. He made a compromise and took a deep breath. That was not correct either. She was assisted by a knight of an enemy country who had helped her to destroy her own country, and was taking advantage of another¡¯s love. She was a straight and upright person who knew neither bending nor compromise. She also asked to meet Rewan. In the end, the body that was sleeping with him without any emotion and the suppressed moaning burst. She was broken¡­ little by little, slowly, perfectly. He tapped the desk with his fingers. In fact, he already knew that Arne was slowly breaking down. Arne, too, had changed and was falling apart. He knew it was going the way he wanted it to¡­ but why was he not happy? Why? Why did everything start to feel unpleasant¡­? He had never taken anything or anyone so seriously. If he didn¡¯t like it, he got rid of it, killed it, and made it to his liking though why can¡¯t he do that to her? It was unknown. He wished that Arne died, to give his troubled heart some rest. Letting out a deep breath through his mouth, he mumbled her name. ¡°Arne¡­¡± His heart ached for no reason. His breath tightened, so he unbuttoned his shirt. Tap, tap. He tapped the desk with his fingers as the words he couldn¡¯t contain came out of his mouth. ¡°I want to kill you.¡± He didn¡¯t want to kill her. It was something that would not come to fruition. He knew that, too. ¡°I want you dead.¡± Arne made a suicide attempt, he knew. It was a contradiction. He covered his eyes with one hand and spoke of death with his lips as if he was spitting out. ¡°¡­I want you to disappear from my life as soon as possible.¡± This was his sincerity, what he truly wanted. Like brainwashing himself, he talked about her death for a long time. ¡®Are you going to kill her?¡¯ The eyes that looked at him were of fear and terror. It was all he wanted. He didn¡¯t like that the feeling of fear came out of love for Rewan. At that time, she was quite different from when she faced Raphael or others¡¯ death. So, he got even more annoyed. He tried to brutally kill Rewan right in front of her as she watched, he wanted to. Originally, he had no intention of giving her a choice. It was a kind of impulse. He had no intention of using the elixir on Rewan, and he wanted her to give up on Rewan on her own. ¡­However, he did not know that Arne would make such a choice. He had no idea that she would be embraced by the drugged commoners in exchange for saving Rewan¡¯s life. He did not know that she would undress herself and fall into the abyss. He wanted to reach out and stop Arne as she fell down the podium. Raising his hand, he clenched his fist. Was he such a great person? What was love? What was her love? He wanted to ask why she did that. As he opened his hand, which had been clenched into a fist, his fingernails were deeply dented and created blood pools. He closed his eyes. ¡®Hatred is an emotion that goes hand in hand with love, so beware of bottomless hatred.¡¯ His heart thumped. It was pure hate¡­ Disgusting hate. That was it, that was all. No, this¡­ ¡­This was an outburst for what he didn¡¯t have. This was greed for what he wanted to have. To want to see Rewan, and even in this situation, she thought of Rewan. He wanted to have her heart. This was greed, not love. As time went on, his breath tightened. Uneasy, unpleasant, and fluttering. Should he just kill Arne and get her out of his sight? He thought for a long time. He had to kill her, who stirred up unpleasant feelings in his chest. Still, he didn¡¯t want to kill her, and he didn¡¯t want to see her die. At the same time, he hated Arne, who was upright and loved Rewan. Like an endless cycle, his thoughts returned to the starting point. He wanted to get rid of it right in front of his eyes, and it was right when considered with his rational judgment though something prevented him from doing that as if his jaw was blocked. It was not rational. He couldn¡¯t act rationally. Sensibility took precedence over reason, was this love? No¡­ then what about this burning hatred that paralyzes the brain, paralyzes reason? There were such nights, and there were such worries. He tried hard to deny his feelings. He was inhuman and heartless. He wasn¡¯t someone who could use an entire bucket of elixir just to erase the scars of s*x abuse. He wasn¡¯t one to kill people without regard for status, just because they mingled with a s*x slave. He wanted her ruin, but he didn¡¯t want her death. It was painful to see her die and disappear. He couldn¡¯t imagine his life without her. Thump. His heart raced. Was this love? ¡°Arne.¡± He muttered her name. In response, his heart beat loudly. The direction it was pointing was clear. Even if he wanted to deny that his heart was inclined, it was inevitable when his heart would scream and make sounds. Distria loved Arne. After admitting that, he felt relieved. From that moment on, he thought about the future together with Arne¡ªchildren, marriage and all the things he would do for her in the future. Arne¡¯s opinion did not come anywhere. He had that kind of love. Selfish and self-conscious, only to himself. Eating the other out of greed, and in the end, there was no way to know the end¡­ He had such love. Aware of his love, he decided to put things away from Arne¡¯s side from then on. It was helpful to him and needed by the Empire, but that was no longer on his mind. For example, Acacia or Lepis. Love obscured his eyes. It was a stupid choice. He knew, too. ¡°Prepare for war with the Kingdom of Elpensia.¡± ¡°However, it doesn¡¯t even have borders with us, and it¡¯s too far away from the Empire¡­¡± Distria looked coldly at one of the young nobles who disputed his words. ¡°Noisy. I¡¯ll ask Lord Acacia to go out. I hope to hear good news.¡± After that, a lot of things came and went. Sending Lepis as chancellor of a vassal country, and many other things. It was clear that the agenda was to clear the caretakers around Arne. There were a lot of backlashes and there was a lot of opposition, but he ignored them all. ¡°Your Majesty, don¡¯t you think about the safety of the Empire? How could you? I heard that you spent all of your elixir on her. Why¡­?!¡± ¡°Stop. I won¡¯t listen to any more complaints.¡± Saying that, he got up from his seat. It took more time than expected. Distria got up and walked quickly. The other nobles stared blankly at the place where he escaped. They thought the Emperor was crazy about the woman. He was impatient. Even now, Arne was still sleeping with anyone and having s*x with anyone. He had no intention of leaving things alone for such a long time. He walked fast. His lovely Arne¡­ He missed her. He opened the door to where she was. Blank eyes, disheveled attire. He stepped closer and spread Arne¡¯s legs apart. As he put his hand in, the s*men, which he didn¡¯t know whom it belonged to, came out along with thin love liquid. He slapped Arne on the cheek and kicked her in the stomach. It was anger and hatred. Did she know what decision he made for her today? It was a one-sided beating. He spat out words in anger. ¡°Hey, what more can I do? Arne. Do you want me to kill all the nobles here, huh? Say something.¡± She didn¡¯t understand Distria¡¯s anger. In the corner, she crawled and licked the tips of his toes while gasping in pain. As he bent down and looked at Arne, it was a strange feeling. Arne that he loved¡­ The submissive Arne. It was Arne that he could control at will. ¡­But, he wasn¡¯t happy. ¡°Do you want to die by provoking me like that?¡± He loved her, but he hated her. It was unbearable anger. Why didn¡¯t he like Arne, who had adjusted to his taste? He didn¡¯t know. __ Chapter 64 Chapter 64 ¨C Carwen de Distria (END) As he called her name, the figure beneath him breathed heavily in excitement. It was delightful. It was so delightful that the hatred that he felt when she was willing to do so was burnt to ashes and faded away. It was such a whim¡­ how the mind changes so quickly. Arne, moaning under him, looked so pretty. His lips parted involuntarily with a certain impulse. ¡°¡­I love you.¡± Originally, Distria didn¡¯t want to confess his love without giving her anything, with no atmosphere like this. However, he had never felt intense emotions other than negative emotions like hatred, so he couldn¡¯t help but let out the feeling of love that filled his heart. He poured out his emotions like that. He thought the words coming out of his lips were sweet, and his heart tickled. Perhaps showing off its throbbing presence, his heart thumped and jumped. Sometimes, a certain hatred and a certain anger came up though he thought those feelings were wrong. It was because otherwise, there would be no way he could feel this thrilling, itchy, and pleasant feeling. He ignored the feelings he felt. Not wanting to leave Arne alone after his first confession, he overlooked his business from where she was. He gazed at her and slept with her as his body heated up from excitement. Even if she lay there staring at the wall like a corpse, when he touched her body, she would groan, bend over in pleasure, and act like a living person. He liked it. Even though he was busy with a lot of things to do, he slept with her at the cost of sleeping less. Even though he was delighted with her lively reaction after having s*x like that, he was upset at why he had to adapt to her¡­ ¡­Such a fickle mind. If love was such a confusing thing and he couldn¡¯t even comprehend it, then it was only right that he should get rid of it. But now that he had experienced it, he just didn¡¯t want to. He made an irrational judgment for the first time. Arne, who always lay facing the wall, was sitting on the desk. That alone made him feel happy. While the place where he had to look at the documents was robbed away, he didn¡¯t care. He was rather delighted because if she were having s*x with him, she wouldn¡¯t look like a corpse. Nor did he stop the loud banging of her fingers on the window. Thinking that it was the sound coming from Arne¡¯s fingertips, it was rather nice to hear. Creak. He heard the sound of a window opening. As Arne held her hand out, his heart sank to the floor. He hurriedly grabbed her by the waist and threw her onto the bed before shutting the window with a bang, then slapped her cheek. The warm feeling faded in an instant. The papers he was holding fell to the floor. He couldn¡¯t even afford to care about it. ¡°Tell me. Do you want to die?¡± As he pushed and asked her, he hurriedly lowered his head to kiss her and bit her lips. Blood rose from Arne¡¯s lips. She was still stubborn since he didn¡¯t scream because she felt no pain. However, he grew sick of it. Unbearable anger welled up. ¡°Say whatever you like, die whatever it is.¡± He slapped her cheek once more and grabbed her hair, and met her gaze. Her gaze still contained nothing. When he loosened his grip, he slapped her cheek once more, causing her head to bend without mercy. Her cheeks swelled up, but she didn¡¯t scream. Did he have to have s*x with her to get some reaction from her? He sneered at himself and took off his shirt. This was not what he wanted. ¡°Ha¡­ I want to kill you.¡± The next moment, he hugged Arne, biting her lips at the words he spat out without even realizing it¡­ no, he didn¡¯t want her dead. Distria gently stroked Arne¡¯s hair lest she chose death again. He met her gaze with soft eyes. ¡°Arne.¡± Whispering her name in a sweet voice, he grabbed her chin and kissed her lips. Even the blood that seeped out of her lips was sweet, he felt everything coming out of Arne¡¯s body was sweet. The bitter blood and the salty tears were all sweet. ¡°Don¡¯t think about dying.¡± He didn¡¯t want Arne to die now¡­ He needed her. ¡°When the time comes, I will kill you myself.¡± He whispered his sincere feelings. He loved her. So, when he could let her go, he would give her the death she wanted. Nonetheless, he didn¡¯t want her to die now¡­ he needed her. He couldn¡¯t imagine life without her. Distria gently touched Arne¡¯s skin as he kissed her pretty lips, which let out a quick breath. He loved her. Whispering his love all night long, he liked Arne¡¯s reaction to his gestures. Even though she didn¡¯t usually react, he was happy that she responded to him at this time of the night. It was a crazy thing, a crazy feeling, a crazy idea¡­ He knew it, too. It was a sweet night. Distria thought. He left for a while to hand over meeting materials. Since Arne was sleeping and the chains hurt her wrists, he decided to take them off for a while, but he did not know that she would disappear in such a short time. Distria knocked on the desk in nervousness. As soon as he was certain that she was gone, he dispatched the knight. Would she die in that short time? He was worried. The quiet palace suddenly became noisy. He let out a low sigh as he just couldn¡¯t get his hands on his work. She became so important to him. He mocked himself. He finally got up. Standing in front of the open door was Arne with living eyes, not dead eyes. At first, it was anger. The anger in her eyes, which were full of life, faded. Distria gazed at her like he was possessed by something. What he wanted was Arne with eyes like that. He wanted living eyes, not dead ones. He loved her regardless. However, the Arne that he especially loved was the living Arne¡­ Arne when she was in love with Rewan. He didn¡¯t like her dead eyes that were looking at him. ¡­Violence caused by it. Anger rose from it. The unknown anger and hatred stemmed from jealousy of Rewan. Why was she looking at him with dead eyes while she looked at that bastard with such unfamiliar eyes¡­? ¡°If I had known you would come back here, I wouldn¡¯t have dispatched the knights.¡± As he grabbed her chin, Arne¡¯s eyes flickered unsightly though even that was beautiful. ¡°My dear Arne, where have you been? I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off you even for a moment.¡± ¡°I¡­¡± ¡°¡­I can hear your voice now.¡± Arne¡¯s lips parted. Words that weren¡¯t moans made him happy. ¡°I hate you.¡± She raised the dagger high. He could easily stop her from swinging the dagger with her clumsy trembling hands and big movements. He could have dodged her sword, but he didn¡¯t. Distria didn¡¯t know what kind of resolve she had when she wielded the dagger, although he didn¡¯t want to give her a sense of loss easily. There was nothing wrong with this kind of pain. More than the pain, it hurt his heart that she hated him. ¡°Ha¡­ It¡¯s the first time you said that, you hate me?¡± Distria pulled out the dagger lodged in his thigh. Where else did she get this from? He slowly took a look at the dagger. ¡°This dagger is from Acacia. Did you meet him?¡± ¡°No! It¡¯s mine, I have never met him.¡± He didn¡¯t like the way Arne struggled while holding his wrist and tried to take the dagger away. Offended, he slapped her cheek, which was already swollen. As Arne hit the wounded thigh with her fist, he couldn¡¯t feel any pain in his body. He just hated the curse words coming out of her bright red lips. Dripping with tears, trembling from fear¡­ Distria didn¡¯t like the way she looked at him with those hateful eyes. ¡­What made her like that? Who did she meet? What did she see? What kind of hope? What kind of wind? What made her act like this? Arne, who was struggling, was taken by force. Her body, which had been tamed to fit his body, poured out its love juices. He didn¡¯t like the way her eyes glowed, even with that little hope. If her living eyes were not directed at him, he would rather it be dead. Why, even though he forcibly took her, coveted her and humiliated her like this, she still pursued hope. Distria didn¡¯t like the way she pursued possibilities. If she gave up and whispered love to him with dead eyes, a better future would unfold. Arne. I want you to look at me in despair. Distria thought so. ¡°I sent Acacia to the periphery. You will never see him again.¡± He spat out something he didn¡¯t want to say lest Arne get shocked. If she wouldn¡¯t whisper love to him, he¡¯d rather no one have it. Arne¡¯s expression hardened as if shocked by each letter. It was obvious jealousy. The knights who burst into the room thrust their spears into her neck, yet she didn¡¯t even feel fear of death. Her lips parted. ¡°¡­Do you love me?¡± She stared at him with a shocked, confused expression. He liked the way her eyes focused on him, not paying attention to the turmoil around her. Distria laughed with delight as he once again confessed his love to her slowly. ¡°Arne, I told you I love you.¡± ¡°¡­Why?¡± The look in her eyes, as if she couldn¡¯t believe it, was cute. He was glad to have a living response to him in this way, even though this was a reaction that would disappear when all this time was over. ¡°Even though I wanted to kill you, I felt like going crazy thinking you weren¡¯t here¡­ I want to have you by my side, but what is it if not love?¡± He whispered his love to her. Seemingly shocked, as Arne closed her eyes and covered her ears, Distria gently took her hand and kissed her lips before whispering in her ear. ¡°I love you, Arne.¡± Arne, who had always been upright, even in the fear of death, was shaken. She staggered as though she had heard something she shouldn¡¯t, as she wavered as if she would not accept his confession. Her shocked eyes widened, and her lips parted. Her blinking eyes and trembling fingers denied his confession. Distria didn¡¯t like the look. What kind of expression would she have when she heard someone else¡¯s sincerity? Would she have been so shocked and surprised, and denied it¡­? He didn¡¯t like Arne¡¯s reaction. If he couldn¡¯t have her mind, shouldn¡¯t he have her body? ¡­Just like when he couldn¡¯t live a happy life, lost everything, and had to become the Emperor. Distria was in the midst of such love. Shaking everything else and destroying endlessly so that the end of the love was unknown. He had that kind of love. __ Chapter 65 Chapter 65 ¨C After Everything Is Over (1) I was lying in a daze in prison. I would eat if they gave me something to eat. I would sleep when I was tired¡­ I spent days like that. The floor was cold, and the air inside the prison was chilly. In addition, there were no windows, so no light could come in, and I couldn¡¯t guess how much time had passed or how many days had passed. I thought I wanted to share emotions, share stories and live like a human being, not a life dominated by pleasure. So, if Distria loved me, wouldn¡¯t that be enough? I shook my head. ¡­No, I don¡¯t want him. So, who was it that I wanted? Whom did I want to love? Someone who was already dead and whose body couldn¡¯t be found, or the one who hurt me in the end and I let go, or the one whom I never said thank you to? I couldn¡¯t turn back now, but I still couldn¡¯t figure it out¡­ or was I just delusional? As hot tears flowed down both cheeks in the cold space, I swallowed the familiar sobs as the tears welling up several times soaked the floor. It might not be bad to die in prison, living a life filled with regrets. If I had known it would be like this, I would have brought the note from Acacia. I thought so as I gazed at my palms, where the scars had disappeared. No one was left by my side¡­ This happened because of my greed. Because of that, responsibility and regret for that were something I had to do. Even after spending such a time of regret, I often thought about other things. Unexpectedly, it opened the door to the final chapter of the original story¡­ injuring Distria and being imprisoned. When I was first imprisoned, I regretted swinging a knife at him and scarring his body, and I was worried about the progress of the original story. It was because I was afraid of the actions I had committed without being able to make a rational judgment. At the same time, I wondered if I acted irrationally because I was forced like a marionette of the original story and forcefully followed the original story. Though as it flowed as the original story, I felt relieved that everything did not follow the original story completely. While it was a selfish thought, it was at least comforting. I really felt like this was the world I lived in. Glancing at my thighs, where the stigma had been erased, I lost the traces of my palms that show that I am me. Still, it was okay because the traces of the original story were also erased. I was so relieved¡­ ¡­I wanted to think so. And I regretted the things that had passed. I should just kill my emotions and give up being human. I didn¡¯t know how much time had passed since I was trapped here. I thought I might die here. It was so cold, and I had no blanket to protect myself from the cold, so I thought about death. Needing a bit of warmth, I sometimes regret swinging my dagger at Distria. I should¡¯ve just lived the life I¡¯d been given. Why did I dream of becoming a human? It was a selfish mind. At first, I felt a deep disgust, but later I just wanted to do it. People wouldn¡¯t change easily, and I couldn¡¯t change¡­ that was what I thought. Still, in the end, I came back to the beginning and regretted that the traces on my palms had disappeared. I apologized to them¡­ to the dead Rewan, Acacia, and Lepis. Turning around, I felt sorry for them again. My thoughts continued that way, and that was how I spent the night. Eventually, the door opened with a creak and a heavy metal sound. I squinted my eyes at the pure white beam of light illuminating the space. My heart beat with a thumping sound at the familiar knight uniform that seemed blurry with my half-closed vision. ¡­What kind of expectation was it? Such anticipation that Acacia would come to pick me up. Where did my selfish thoughts go? I had the brazen and incongruent idea that he would come to get me¡­ I was a very selfish person. Even if a knife gets stuck in my throat, I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d change what I thought. ¡°Come out.¡± It wasn¡¯t Acacia¡¯s voice. I was disappointed. As my expectations were broken, my mood dropped. The knight caught my outstretched hand. He held me, who was staggering and couldn¡¯t walk well. Disappointed, I was delighted with the body temperature of a hot person touching my body for a while. Grabbing him by the collar, I let out a cold breath. The sound of breathing in my ears, the sound of the heartbeat. I said I wanted to live like a human being, I said I didn¡¯t want to live a life full of pleasure, and I tried to kill Distria¡­ how did I get excited about these little things? I shook my head. It was too cold there, that was why. It¡¯d been a long time since I met warmth. It seemed that cold breath was still leaking from my lips. I denied the rush of excitement. No matter how trashy I was, this wasn¡¯t it. Thinking so, my fingertips trembled, and I gripped the collar tightly. The knight¡¯s displeased gaze met me. Startled, I removed my hand while my heart, which had been beating anxiously, subsided. The surge of excitement also faded. This was an illusion that I felt because of the warmth¡­ I thought so. ¡°We have arrived.¡± The door where I had stayed before being captured was opened. The ladies-in-waiting came and took off the tattered clothes. In an instant, I was naked and immersed in the water in which roses were floating. My body was washed with fragrant balm and massaged. Soon, I was escorted by a knight while wearing a white and voluminous dress. I walked on my unsteady leg, staggering. Where was I going? At the end of that tumultuous path, there was a heavy door at the end of the bright red carpet. The door opened, and Distria stood there, well-dressed in a suit and holding a flower. It was an inconsistent picture and an awkward sight. Distria and bright red flowers didn¡¯t match. My legs gave out at the strange sight, and I flopped down. ¡®¡­What is he doing?¡¯ What was the situation now? I closed my eyes. Because this was nonsense, I thought I was dreaming. I heard Distria trudging to me, and he grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up. Nothing was visible in my dark world. ¡°Open your eyes, Arne.¡± He gently whispered in my ear as if to soothe me, and I gently opened my eyes. Distria got down on one knee and held out the bouquet like someone proposing. ¡°Will you marry me?¡± I couldn¡¯t contain my astonishment at the bouquet and the ring he took out of his arms. If I married Distria, wouldn¡¯t I become Empress? This wasn¡¯t right. As my thoughts were interrupted by the sudden situation, I lost touch with reality. ¡°Actually, you don¡¯t have the option of refusal.¡± Distria placed his lips on the back of my hand. His eyes that were full of affection were burdensome that I averted my gaze. I opened my lips to say something and then closed my mouth. I would be seen as a fool, and it might be quicker to get the nobles¡¯ backlash and have the engagement annulled. Already in love, he seemed out of his mind. Distria took the ring out of the ring box and put it on the ring finger of my left hand. He held the red bouquet in one hand. ¡°It suits you well.¡± The next moment, he pressed his lips to the ring on my ring finger. As I looked blankly at the figure, he smiled at me again as if nothing had happened. He gazed at me with loving eyes. ¡°You are beautiful, Arne.¡± He soon took me in an embrace before heading for the bedroom. Startled, I looked up at him and shook my head. No. No¡­ Distria, who laid me down on the bed, lightly pressed me as I struggled. He lifted my skirt and stroked my thighs. I parted my lips at the soft, hot touch and let out a hot breath. He buried his face between the voluminous skirt. While he bit off the underwear with his lips and spread my legs, Distria stuck his tongue inside her. My mind went blank at the dizzying stimulation I had felt for the first time in a long time as he licked the inside with his tongue. ¡°¡­Huht!¡± I was just busy breathing out. He stroked the insides gently with his lips and slipped his fingers through the wet crevice. Moving his hand in circles on the already wet bottom, he then raised his head and stared at me. Curving his eyebrows, he smiled. ¡°I was so sad that I had to put you in a dungeon like that.¡± He moved his hand and untied the ribbon on my back, and bit the exposed white breasts with his lips. I gasped for breath from the warmth of a person I hadn¡¯t touched in a long time. Drenched in pleasure, I expected his touch pleasure to me. Distria slowly undressed. I felt some kind of anticipation in his large, protruding p*nis. ¡­I said I wanted to change, didn¡¯t I? The mind that was paralyzed by pleasure for a moment was caught by the thought that popped out, and I let out a short breath. It¡¯d been a while since I¡¯d had this kind of stimulation. I comforted myself. No. I was just a human being who couldn¡¯t live without pleasure¡­ yes, that was it. I thought so. It was just an act of satisfying human needs that I would never want only pleasure again. ¡°I declared that I would make you empress.¡± Before I had time to think about Distria¡¯s words, he chewed on the nipple with his lips. He put my round chest into my mouth and swallowed it. My body trembled at the intense stimulation. ¡°So, everyone wanted to kill you.¡± He tore off the cumbersome skirt and rubbed himself against the entrance. I let out a sigh. His words did not reach my ears properly. ¡°Arne.¡± ¡°Huuuh¡­ hup¡­¡± Distria smiled bitterly and pushed himself slowly inside. I turned my head to the stiffness that was coming in as tears flowed down my eyes. Perhaps, I was mistaken for a while. Expecting and wanting a lot of pleasure, exhaling excitedly. When he started moving his hips, intense stimulation thumped inside. ¡°So, I killed the objections one by one¡­ All of them.¡± ¡°Ha-uhk¡ªhaht¡­! Huh!¡± ¡°Then, no one objected. It¡¯s a very simple and convenient method.¡± It was a snake-like smile. Grabbing my chin, he kissed my lips tightly. Distria opened my lips, brushed the roof of my mouth, sucked my lips, and brushed my teeth, saliva trickling down the corners of my mouth. Then, he licked it like it was a waste, and the red lips drew an arc and went up. ¡°I love you, Arne.¡± He ran his lips across my neck and left a mark. His strong waist thumped vigorously inside. ¡°Uh-uung¡­huh, ha¡­¡± ¡°Arne. I love you.¡± I closed my eyes after struggling with pleasure for a while. People didn¡¯t change easily. I thought so. __ Chapter 66 Chapter 66 ¨C After Everything Is Over (2) After that, the Imperial Palace was in an uproar over the wedding preparations. There were many unfriendly eyes, even that disappeared as Distria killed them all. The Palace, engulfed by a certain fear, was silent even as it prepared for a celebration. Several times that Distria killed people, the Imperial Palace would smell of blood. Because of that, fewer nobles came to Distria¡¯s chambers to report work. And as the number of people decreased, his work naturally increased. Still, while he worked through the night, he came to see me once a day. Did he have to marry me while doing that? As expected, I belonged to him. Nonetheless, even without marriage, I couldn¡¯t get away from him so I couldn¡¯t understand him doing such a destructive act. What was he doing? Distria had nothing to gain. Did love make people stupid like this? I really couldn¡¯t understand. Since it was so different from Distria¡¯s behavior before, I couldn¡¯t help but feel strange. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about anything.¡± Distria kissed the back of my hand, and as he licked my lips, he whispered. Perhaps even pleased by my empty eyes, he smiled. At the same time, his eyes, burning with madness, ran all over my body. It was a gaze of greed. Distria wanted me¡­ what kind of hatred and what kind of disgust was before that. I stared at him with blank eyes as he grabbed my chin and kissed my lips. Letting out a sigh of excitement, he walked out with the stack of papers. The current Distria was irrational and crazy about love. He was out of his mind. I licked my lips as I groaned over things while barely swallowing them through my mouth. He should have loved me from the start¡­ I didn¡¯t like how he whispered love to me after being so harsh. Even then, my teeth trembled at my selfishness. I liked that harshness. It was funny seeing me regret everything. I stared blankly at the place he had left as my distraught mind was shaken. I wanted to be proud of myself when they came to pick me up, and I believed the note Acacia left. I had no doubt that he would come to pick me up. However, at Distria¡¯s marriage proposal, my heart was shaken by my choice. It wasn¡¯t that I was so swayed by DIstria whispering love. If they really came to pick me up, it seemed that they would never be able to reach me alive¡­ Distria right now was crazy about me so it seemed possible for him to go mad and kill everyone who approached me. I was worried about that. Ironically, I feared their deaths. I didn¡¯t want to risk it. Giving irreparable wounds to those I loved and driving them to death. It was a contradictory mind, a contradictory attitude. ¡®I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m a selfish person.¡¯ I apologized and laughed bitterly to myself. As I woke up from sleep, the smell of alcohol rushed in from Distria, who was touching my body. He slowly approached me and buried his head in my shoulder while his cold lips touched my neck. With his mouth opened, his wet tongue touched my skin. ¡°I didn¡¯t want this position.¡± He whispered softly in my ear as if telling a secret. ¡°I want to have you more than this place, Arne.¡± Raising fingers wrapped around my neck, the smell of blood rushed in. It was a dark night. The moonlight coming in from the window illuminated Distria. The color of the damp sleeves was dark. The wet, dark color seemed to be blood. ¡°If I can have you, I don¡¯t need anything.¡± When he grabbed my hair, Distria kissed me on the lips and stared at me. I somehow thought that he and I resembled each other. Selfish to the limit and capable of sacrificing and ignoring anything to achieve what we wanted¡­ ¡­I thought we looked alike. I reached out and wrapped my hand around Distria¡¯s waist as I could hear his heart pounding and beating. Since when did I start to hate Distria? With what qualifications? I was not qualified. Was it right in my heart to hate him? The smell of alcohol made my head throb. At the same time, my head was spinning, and I thought something was wrong. Haa, I sighed. The bottomless selfishness made me want to rationalize and justify everything and blame others. I was a very selfish person. Furthermore, it was terrible to try to convince myself in any way that there was no hope and to shut off the possibility that I couldn¡¯t dream of. It was terrible to try to avoid the fact that Distria resembled me and made other excuses to avoid him. As the weight of his limp body fell on my shoulders, my thoughts stopped. The white pillowcase was drenched in blood. I recently killed a person and thought it was someone else¡¯s blood. Still, the blood was still dripping incessantly. Only then did I know that the flowing blood was his. Meanwhile, Distria was motionless. He put his face on my shoulder and let out a heavy breath. Was it hard to breathe because he was hurt or because he had been drinking alcohol? I closed my eyes and opened them. I couldn¡¯t even guess what to do. My hands trembled. I was afraid. What¡­ ¡°Haa¡­¡± Distria let out a hot breath. My ears were hot, and my hands trembled even more. If I wouldn¡¯t do anything like this, would he die? Then¡­ ¡°Arne.¡± A voice that had sunk whispered my name in a low voice. ¡°I love you.¡± He spoke of his love. If I wouldn¡¯t do anything, would I regret it after he died? If he died now, would I be accused of killing him? Then, would death come? Would it be more comfortable if I died? Would it be better for them if I died with him? Many thoughts flowed through my head in a short amount of time. Wouldn¡¯t it be better for me, who is selfish and mean, to help him like that? I glared at Distria¡¯s defenselessly exposed neck. He, who hadn¡¯t even moved, suddenly laid me down with a strong force. I breathed in, feeling as if I had been caught. He gazed at me with deep eyes as he ran his bloody hands over my clothes. His thick blood soaked my clothes. It soaked my clothes for a long time as if he was branding them. Distria called my name again. ¡°Arne.¡± That was it. He lay next to me, collapsed. My heart was beating with a thumping sound. I didn¡¯t do anything¡­ no, I didn¡¯t do anything. As a result, Distria lived. I didn¡¯t try to save him or kill him. I didn¡¯t do anything. Thinking of them, killing Distria was the right thing to do. If I thought of them¡­. why couldn¡¯t I do anything that day? What was I afraid of? My death? Or¡­ Was I afraid of him? I felt distant. It was eaten up by ugly feelings due to endless selfishness, and then it was raised again. Sometimes being caught up in this feeling made me angry, screaming and rioting. Why was I stressed? It felt like I was being punished. ¡°Aahkk! Aaahh¡­! Eheuk.¡± After screaming for a while, tears came out. Maybe, I was going mad. I wondered what my head would be like. I felt guilty. At the same time, I wanted to escape from that guilt. I wanted to run away from these heavy feelings when something suddenly cut off, even though I was aware of my fault. ¡­Was this my selfishness? Was it the price of selfishness? Was it the punishment for the suffering of others I have ignored? But, why was I being punished¡­ was it wrong to live selfishly? It just made me think that the love I received was something warm and pleasant. I waited and waited and thought and thought. What did I want to do? What was I waiting for? Sometimes, I laughed for a long time because it was funny to cling to thin hopes. I was a real madman. Drunk with faint feelings, dreaming of a beast like me to ever become a human. Stupid. Did I really think I could be a human? Wouldn¡¯t it have been more comfortable if I had just given up on my feelings and lived in pursuit of pleasure? I regretted and blamed myself for what I had done and resented the people who loved me. I held back the tears that burst out. It was useless for Distria to be sweet. After crying silently for a long time, I was held by him. My worries were crumbled by the pleasure that flashed through my brain. What filled me was pleasure¡­ I was just confused for a moment. I was a person who didn¡¯t like to think. I wrapped my hands around Distria¡¯s waist. Soon, I started a life of pleasure again¡ªspread my legs to others, meet anyone, sleep with anyone¡ªsomething appeared and then disappeared. I lost things I barely found. It was so lamentable. It felt like a happy dream for a while. Distria didn¡¯t stop me from sleeping with anyone. He held me silently as I returned from sleeping with others. ¡°You want me to kill them all, right?¡± Distria murmured bleakly. I just cried for a while in his arms without saying a word. Falling asleep from weeping, waking up to the pleasure as he thrusted into me, it was the life of a beast. I didn¡¯t like this either. My vision flickered at the dizzying thoughts. It was a mistake to dream of life here. It was my fault that I did not know that I would be loved this much and that I did not know that I would change this much. Even though I blamed myself endlessly and regretted my life, nothing would change¡­ I would just cry and be held by someone. ¡­I should have killed him then. I regretted life. I regretted the things that had passed. I hate myself. The ladies-in-waiting put something on my face and dressed me up. They prepared things that looked like mine. Distria kissed the back of my hand, and I glanced at the shining ring on my left hand. ¡°If you go to the temple and have a wedding. You will officially become my wife.¡± He said and laughed. He was very sorry that he couldn¡¯t go with me, so he entrusted two knights with escorting me. Escorted by two knights, I rode in a carriage without a word. I was happy to escape the terrible Imperial Palace, even for a moment. Although I would go back there anyway, I was happy for a while. It was a fleeting happiness. I hoped that the temple would be located far away from the Imperial Palace. __ Chapter 67 Chapter 67 ¨C After Everything Is Over (3) ¡°Give me your luggage.¡± As a man in a black suit took the luggage, I scanned the temple with blurry eyes. Magnificent interior and pure white pillars. In the middle of the open space was a huge statue of God. A priest appeared in the space filled with various people. He had his long hair tied loose and was wearing a long, loose-fitting habit. The snow-white priest uniform fell down to his toes. ¡°Hello. My name is Kamiki, the chief priest of Michaelo¡¯s Temple. It is an honor to be in charge of the purification ceremony for the Empress of the Carwen Empire.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± As I gazed at him without saying anything, Kamiki bowed and greeted me. He walked slowly down the hallway to lead us to the accommodation. While walking, he recited information about the purification ceremony. ¡°The purification ceremony is held in the temple for a week in three days. On the first and second days, you work on clearing the mind. First, you pray with lower priests made up of commoners, and then with priests made up of nobles.¡± I missed what he was saying. It was a long and boring time before we eventually reached the innermost room. It was a room that looked expensive and fancy at first glance. When I put my hand on the doorknob, as if he hadn¡¯t finished speaking yet, he placed his hand on top of mine. ¡°The third day, you bathe in holy water, and on the fourth day, you eat only the holy bread and holy water, purifying the body. You endure the fifth day with an empty stomach and prayer, and on the sixth day, you take a bath alone to wash away all your troubles.¡± It was a week that would disappear if I spent it without thinking. I didn¡¯t care what I would be doing. Meanwhile, Kamiki seemed to notice that I wasn¡¯t interested, so he spoke quickly. His hand on the back of my hand was cold. ¡°On the last day, you are baptized, blessed, and finish with purification ceremonies. It is a common ceremony when high-ranking nobles get married. Further details are contained in the brochure.¡± As he smiled benevolently and held my hand, he soon raised my hand and put it to his lips. He then gazed at my face with worried eyes as if he had remembered something. ¡°Excuse me, but your face is full of evil. We will need to remove it.¡± At the end of the explanation, the handmaids who were about to enter the accommodation stopped walking. I looked at Kamiki. ¡®No, that just sounds like a pseudo-religion.¡¯ ¡°¡­.!¡± The handmaids looked at Kamiki with their eyes shining. ¡°I think we should first cleanse you of negativity through the sacrament of confession before the purification ceremony.¡± Kamiki gently rubbed the back of my hand where he had touched his lips with his finger. It was a gesture full of sexual intentions. Suddenly, tears were dripping down the handmaid¡¯s face, and she grabbed the priest¡¯s hand. No, since when did you get so desperate for me? I glanced at the handmaid with indifferent eyes. ¡°Please make this woman normal, priest.¡± She knelt before the priest and folded her hands. ¡°Please do something. To think such a foolish would marry His Majesty¡­¡± Oh, she was not desperate about me. As if to appeal to her desperation, she bowed her head in front of Kamiki and pressed her forehead while he put on a benevolent look and grabbed the handmaid¡¯s hand. ¡°Give me time.¡± He laughed. The place where the priest held my hand and led me was a dark space without a single light. Chains showed off their presence on both arms. When I came to my senses, I was naked, not wearing a single thread. Oh, was confession being done with a chain tied to the naked body? I heard someone come down into the basement. Creak. The door opened with a creak and a little light leaked in. His tidy appearance in the morning had gone, and I could see Kamiki wearing his hair lightly tied up and loosening the belt of his uniform that was tight around his waist. It was as if he had been drugged when I saw his loose smile. He smiled mischievously, carrying things in both hands. I would have been terribly distressed if I hadn¡¯t given up on my human life. I smiled bitterly at the thought. A sense of excitement permeated my body at the situation that was about to come. Taking out the brush, he smiled and raised his lips. ¡°Then, let¡¯s begin the confession. The water in this barrel is holy water.¡± The water in the pail made a gurgling sound. The next moment, he dipped the brush in holy water, moistened it, and gently rubbed the area around my breasts with the wet brush. My body was excited at the soft brush¡¯s touch. I let out a breath filled with heat as my n*pples swelled up. Kamiki smiled softly. ¡°It is an act of purifying your lustful body.¡± When my body twisted in excitement and a loud sound of metal echoed through the room, Kamiki smiled. He dipped his brush in the pail of water and slowly moved his steps toward the light. Bang. The door closed with a sound. The room quickly lost its light and became dark. Soon, the footsteps gradually drew closer but I couldn¡¯t figure out where he was. With a flick, the candle next to me caught fire. A small light from a candle illuminated the space, and I saw Kamiki¡¯s flushed face. His profusely erect p*nis poked through the cracks in the loose, barely knotted cords of the priest uniform. Thin liquid dripped from his pillar. ¡°Haa¡­ Really, the empress-to-be has an obscene body.¡± Suddenly, he grabbed my legs and lifted them up before bringing his erect pillar to the entrance and rubbing it. The feeling of my cl*toris being rubbed against was ecstatic, and I let out a moan at the stimulation I felt without any intention of holding back. ¡°Hu-uht¡­ uhng. Hu-uht¡ª¡± Liquid dripped onto the floor, no one knew who it belonged to. ¡°Ha¡­ uhh.¡± Kamiki let out a groan. Licking his lips and putting my legs down, he again took up the brush dipped in holy water before rubbing the part that he had been rubbing with himself gently with a brush. ¡°Huuhg¡­.uh-ang. Hu-ugh¡­ haht.¡± The feeling of the soft brush stimulating the inside was thrilling. When he lowered the brush that was rubbing inside to my thigh, the mixture of love liquid and holy water left marks on my body. Kamiki rubbed the inside with the brush again and spread the liquid all over my body. Soon, he brought the playful brush to my lips. ¡°Uuah, ah¡­ah.¡± As the soft brush touched my chest, he put the brush into the pail and traced the watery marks along my body with his tongue. ¡°It is an act of purifying the body.¡± When he skimmed down along the water trail, he bit the bulging apex with his lips as he chewed on it with his teeth and took a big bite. ¡°Huhng¡­¡± The next moment, Kamiki tucked his fingers underneath. The slimy liquid flowed down his fingers, and he put his wet hand in his mouth and licked it. ¡°Hu¡­ how did you make the faithful me like this? I wanted to f*ck you from the first moment I saw you.¡± He rubbed himself against my thigh. The loose knot finally untied, and the priest¡¯s uniform that wrapped around his body flowed down his body. Even though he had no muscle, he had a thin body without belly fat. Putting himself in the entrance and pushing it in, he lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist. ¡°Huht¡­¡± As he pulled both n*pples with his fingers, my body tightened down and his brow twisted with excitement. The chains swayed as he moved and the sound of metal and creaking filled the warehouse. ¡°Hahk¡­ hu-uht! Huug, kuht¡­!¡± ¡°Huu¡­. kugh. If you tighten it like that¡­!¡± Kamiki took himself out and came on my stomach. He wiped his sweaty forehead with his hand. ¡°Hu¡ª¡± He took a moment to catch his breath and wet his lips with his tongue. ¡°Ah¡­ I should have given you my c*ck water. That¡¯s too bad, but there is plenty of time.¡± A boring week turned into a week full of pleasure¡­ it wasn¡¯t too bad. Kamiki dragged me several more times, saying that I had to make a confession before starting the purification ceremony. There wasn¡¯t much change, but he looked at me with earnest eyes. At first, we did it in a place out of reach of people, like the basement, but now he took me to a private space like his room. As I was half-draped on the wide-open terrace, I could see people walking around downstairs. With my chest across the terrace swaying along with Kamiki¡¯s waist, I felt the thrill of this outdoor play-like. He stopped moving his back and slowly inserted the beads into my an*s. He fed the beads one by one. ¡°Huht¡­ uhng¡­ Uuunh¡ª¡± He put himself in, and I greedily took him all the way as he moved. While I was thrown back on the terrace and swayed to and fro, the round-shaped beads that went inside felt unfamiliar. Kamiki grabbed my hair and whispered in my ear. ¡°They can see it from below¡­¡± He smiled softly while saying something before grabbing my hair and slamming my face into the bed. ¡°Tsk. There¡¯s no way a fool would understand what I¡¯m saying.¡± He spread my legs wide and put himself all the way in, and thrusted his back as if he was angry. I felt a slight pain in my chest as it swayed up and down. Feeling his climax, he gradually slowed down before hastily removing himself from the entrance and bringing his pillar around my mouth. As something hot splashed across my face, Kamiki gently collected the s*men that splattered on my face and put it in my mouth. ¡°If you drink c*ck water, your brain gets better.¡± He smiled gently. I licked the s*men he collected. ¡®Ah, this kind of life suits me as expected.¡¯ He laughed. I smiled, too. It was the first day of the purification ceremony. Well, I thought I wouldn¡¯t go through the proper procedure, but this was a bit, wasn¡¯t it? Even if he said I was a fool, what if it got to the Emperor? What were they going to do? ¡°Suck it.¡± A low-ranking priest grabbed my hair. The beads that had not yet come out were fluttering at the tip of my buttocks. I bit into the lower priest¡¯s members with my mouth full. No, why was the priest like this? The other person who was stroking my rear pushed his p*nis into the opening as much as he could. ¡°Huu¡­ Originally, prayer is done with the body.¡± They were really a pseudo-religion. I muttered the words on my lips. ¡°It is to have a child of God.¡± He removed and inserted the beads, stimulating both sides. ¡°Huhng¡­ huhp.¡± A suppressed moan escaped from the corner of my mouth, blocked by the other person¡¯s flesh. The door to the prayer room opened, and a neatly dressed Kamiki entered. __ Chapter 68 Chapter 68 ¨C After Everything Is Over (4) The lower priests bowed their heads and greeted Kamiki in unison. Kamiki stopped the lower priests from bowing with a gesture, and he lifted my face from the floor with his tiptoe. ¡°Prayer is showing sincerity with the body. It¡¯s not like you get it while lying on the floor.¡± As he beckoned to me, he lifted the cloth of his priest uniform and showed his erect p*nis. I slowly approached him and lowered my entrance to his genitals. I chased pleasure, shaking my body in his genitals that stabbed deep. ¡°Ha-aht¡­. hang. Hahk! Hu-uht.¡± Even the slightest movement made his genitals pierce deep into ecstasy. I put my hand on Kamiki¡¯s shoulder and shook my body while he let out a quick breath and put on a troubled face. ¡°Ah, I am not the one to pray for today.¡± I closed my eyes and continued to work on my waist. I couldn¡¯t hear him. In fact, I didn¡¯t even have to listen to him. ¡°Huhng¡­ huht. Ah! Ah¡ª!¡± ¡°Kuu¡­ hoo. For the person who would become the Empress revealed this¡­ It¡¯s a curse of the empire. Since you¡¯re to be so lewd like this, the child to be born may not be the Emperor¡¯s child. ¡± It was an insulting remark. Nonetheless, I let go of the obscene words he uttered at the pleasure that ran through my body. It wasn¡¯t even that psychologically damaging. Kamiki raised his hand and pulled my chest. Strength entered my body, he tightened and loosened the bottom, chewing on his p*nis as he let out a long wet breath. ¡°It¡¯s also a lascivious and wonderful body.¡± As he stood up, my body tilted at the sudden movement before he grabbed me with one hand, and I fell. He stuttered and pressed his lips to my chest. When he chewed on the n*pple carefully and raised it from the bottom to the top, I reached a climax once with the stimulation that came from above. As I trembled on top of him, Kamiki lifted me up and pulled me off him. Perhaps he hadn¡¯t finished, his pillar was still bulging. He pushed me, drooping from ecstasy, onto someone else. Fumbling hands ran over my body. He grabbed me by the waist and brought me down to his erect p*nis. Grabbing my thighs, he lifted me up little by little from the bottom. Having already reached my climax, my strength was relieved and I buried my face in the shoulder of an unknown priest. ¡°May God bless you.¡± Kamiki bowed with his hands together and stimulated the n*pple. My body became tense again. He held the buds with both hands and turned it. At the same time, the sharp stimulation felt at the place where it was being squeezed, running tension over my body. He bit and licked the n*pple that stood upright with his lips while I put my finger under it and gently stimulated myself. Excitement flared up again. I began to move in pursuit of the lack of stimulation. ¡°<>Uh¡­¡± ¡°Prayer, sincerely!¡± He urged me to move, eyes twinkling like fanatics, and I hurriedly shook my back at the vague stimulation I felt from below. It felt good to be filled inside. The fanaticism that had been unpleasant was erased by pleasure. I let out a quick breath and moved. ¡°Huhng¡­uht! Ung¡ªannh!¡± The squelching sound, breathing and groaning filled the room. Kamiki brought the holy water that had filled under the stone statue and slowly poured it over my body. Soon, a priest below came deeply inside, and I had s*x with a priest in another prayer room and received s*men inside my body. Then, I had s*x with another person. When I opened my eyes, I was already in Kamiki¡¯s bedroom and he made me stand on the railing of the terrace as my legs trembled mercilessly. It was a moonless night. He pulled out the anal beads stuck in my buttocks, and as the things that had been stuck for a long time fell out, I reached a light climax. The male priests¡¯ s*men, which I had received today, was continuously pushed out along with the bursting juice. ¡°Today¡¯s prayer was perfect. Then, tomorrow too.¡± Kamiki laughed. The second day was also a series of such s*. Whether he was trying to humiliate me or if the purification ceremony was really going on like this, all the priests behaved like that, so I didn¡¯t know which one was the truth. I just gave up thinking. After all, what remained for me was a thrilling pleasure. I had s*x without thinking. So did the third day. He brushed my cl*toris, which was swollen from frequent s*x, before licking his lips under the spurting love liquid. Starting from there, he rode to my stomach to my chest and my fingertips. Kamiki, who licked every inch of my body, even the anal, hugged me and put me in a bathtub filled with holy water. After taking off his priest uniform, he followed me and hugged me from behind. An erect p*nis reached my rear. ¡°S*x in holy water purifies to the depths.¡± As the body was filled, holy water and his pillar were pushed into my entrance. Every time he moved, holy water overflowed inside. It was barely overflowing and rocked inside. ¡°Huhng¡­uht¡ª! Aang! Ah!¡± The splashing sound filled the bathroom. I felt strange about his genitals coming in and out with the holy water, so I pulled myself out. Was Kamiki intentionally trying to fill up the holy water inside? He pulled it out deeply and put it in at once, and the holy water overflowed inside. He then grabbed my arm as I was trying to escape and pulled me in. ¡°Not everything has been washed inside.¡± That was how he spurred his waist again until he came inside. He came inside, and I thought it was over. I reached out my hand to the end of the tub and tried to get out. However, Kamiki hugged me by the waist and inserted his finger into the anal. ¡°There is still one place left.¡± It was a series of s*x without knowing why. On the fourth day, the body of God they claimed was the s*men of priests. I swallowed the s*men endlessly like that. The taste was so sweet that it was worth eating. And on the fifth day, I had s*x with Kamiki to show off to people around me to prove my sincerity. Half of the purification ritual was s*x. We had s*x again and had a beastly time. It seemed that among the priests here, there was no one who did not sleep with me. It was eventually the last day. Even on the last day, I was busy moaning under Kamiki. Even when the prayer room door burst open, he was busy moving his waist as if he didn¡¯t care who was coming. They were all in cahoots anyway, so I didn¡¯t care who came in either. ¡°The last blessing is a kiss.¡± The corners of Kamiki¡¯s mouth went up in an arc. ¡°Ha.¡± A low laugh. It sounded familiar. When I turned my head, I could see Distria standing there with his eyes shimmering with anger. He pulled out the sword hanging from his waist. He used it to cut through the air. The person with eyes wet with excitement collapsed. Blood soaked my chest. Behind the open door, the priests followed him with quick steps. No one could easily open their mouths to the tragedy that had already occurred. Distria took off his robe and put it on me before lifting me up. ¡°God is watching. Fear that he won¡¯t forgive you¡ª¡± Distria swung his sword before one priest had finished speaking. Drop, roll. The head fell off. He covered my eyes with one hand. ¡°Declare war on Michaelo Temple.¡± An angry voice came out of his mouth as he laughed bitterly. Before leaving the temple, Distria killed all the priests he met. They prayed every day and didn¡¯t even know how to hold a sword, so their pure white priest uniform was stained with blood. He put matters in his hands. The two escorts he assigned to me who brought me to the inn were also cut in the head in an instant, along with the maids who were in charge of my clothes and hair makeup. Red blood soaked the floor. Distria rubbed his forehead with one hand. ¡°Arne. Who has treated you carelessly?¡± He grabbed me by the shoulders as the temple became an uproar. I heard the sound of hasty footsteps. When I tilted my head to look at him and smiled, he let out a deep sigh. He left me at the inn and went out the door. The look on his back looked dangerous. As I tried to hold on to Distria, my weak legs collapsed. I looked to the side. Four corpses, who had met a cold death, were lying on the cold floor, unable to close their eyes. They were the ones who smiled and moved for me until just yesterday. ¡°Uhh¡­ uugh.¡± I didn¡¯t want to be in the same room as them. I wanted to hold the doorknob and open the door. I smelled blood. It seemed that the outside of the door was blocked by something solid, but as I tried hard to open it, it wouldn¡¯t open. I knocked on the door with a thud. ¡°Huff¡­¡± I didn¡¯t want to be here because I didn¡¯t feel anything about their deaths. When I saw myself unable to react when I saw a dead body, I got a sense of shame. I knocked on the door again. Some screams were heard outside the door. Somehow, the expected result made me gulp in silence. It was a time when I was immersed in pleasure. Although there was coercion, it was true that I felt good. My hand holding the doorknob trembled before eventually letting go of the doorknob. Why did he prevent me from trying to live a life immersed in pleasure? I stared blankly at the door as I leaned against the door and waited for Distria to come. I brought my legs together and buried my face in my lap. Time passed and a small chuckle came. Footsteps walking were approaching here, and Distria opened the door. The scent of blood wafted through the door. The blood-soaked Distria approached me. There were bloodstains as he walked towards me. ¡­How could he do this to me? ¡°I killed them all, Arne.¡± He held out his hand. Distria stared blankly at his outstretched hand though I didn¡¯t even think of taking his hand. I just blankly looked at the hand that was out to me. ¡°Ah¡­ uh.¡± I couldn¡¯t imagine how many lives those bloody hands took. Drip. Blood dripped from his fingertips. Behind him stood two men who appeared to be his escort knights as blood also dripped from the tips of their swords and eventually created a puddle. They were still alive until just yesterday. I grabbed the clothes that Distria had put on me, and I pursed my lips. I wondered if I had the right to say that to myself. I bit my lips. I didn¡¯t hold his hand as I grabbed the bed and got up myself. ¡°Why¡­¡± ¡°Arne.¡± ¡°I am fine. It doesn¡¯t matter if I sleep with someone.¡± I faced Distria. Was this because my overworked legs were trembling in pain, or was I trembling in fear¡­? ¡°You made me like this.¡± __ Chapter 69 Chapter 69 ¨C After Everything Is Over (5) ¡°Arne.¡± Distria¡¯s furious gaze reached me. As he called my name quietly, a bloody hand touched my shoulder. I knew he was angry. I was honestly afraid. I was scared of him ¡°I didn¡¯t rebel on purpose.¡± His hand on my shoulder was knocked out coldly and I gazed at him. Drip, drip. Blood soaked the floor. His eyes were stained with some hatred. I was afraid to look at him with those hateful eyes. ¡°I¡­¡± ¡°Stop.¡± Distria cut me off. Even though he looked at me with eyes telling me not to speak, I ignored his gaze before turning my head. Moving my lips, I told him the cruel truth. ¡°You just held me. isn¡¯t this what you wanted? Like a doll?¡± ¡°Haa¡­ Arne.¡± At my words, he ran his blood-soaked hands through his hair. He didn¡¯t look like he was angry as he slowly walked towards me. Scared, I slowly backed away from him and there was the dripping sound that followed him. Bloodstains had hardened on his pale face. I met his cold eyes. ¡°That¡¯s funny.¡± The wall hit my back. There was no place to run away from Distria anymore. When he grabbed my shoulder and kissed my lips, I couldn¡¯t feel anything from the kiss that always gave me excitement easily. It just tasted blood, only the metallic taste of blood made me want to push away his lips. I turned my head. Helpless in fear, my body trembled. ¡°Don¡¯t talk nonsense. You belong to me, and I don¡¯t like it when other people touch mine.¡± My heart was beating. I yelled at him. It was a shrieking question. ¡°You say you loved me!¡± ¡°It¡¯s enough for you to look at such arrogant words. I love you, but don¡¯t ask for more than this.¡± Distria¡¯s cold eyes met mine. I really couldn¡¯t understand his love. It was incomprehensible¡­ was it intense possessiveness or love? I could not distinguish it. What was it? Pop. Memory was broken. Distria was clearly a fear to me. He was an existence that evoked certain emotions. I watched the pouring rain. That day, he turned a temple into a sea of blood and returned to the imperial palace. Even when neighboring countries asked why he attacked the temple silently, he did not say what the temple had done wrong, fearing that it would harm me. He replied nonchalantly, saying that he simply killed them. Distria could have been angry at the neighboring countries¡¯ attitude that did not trust him, but he just laughed. As he killed all the people in the Temple of Michaelis and took over the temple, neighboring countries asked for the temple to be given to them because they would not argue for anything and he granted that request. And I became his empress. As the mistress of the imperial palace, there was an essential political task. I had duties to do. However, since I was someone who couldn¡¯t do anything, Distria also took care of that. He was busy, yet he always came to see me even when he was busy. Kissing my lips, touching my skin, taking my body, and whispering love¡­ he acted like a person who couldn¡¯t give me everything. Even then, I remembered that day. ¡°But, don¡¯t ask for more than this.¡± I couldn¡¯t understand his heart. What feeling, what sincerity¡­ What hate, what anger. What love. What was he thinking? Even though I was curious about that, I didn¡¯t think about him anymore. I didn¡¯t want to think of him anymore. I didn¡¯t want to worry about him. I¡¯ve had days like that. He worked and then came to see me. In order to fill the void created by the deaths, the imperial palace, which hired new people, was again crowded with people. I blankly gazed up at the sky. I once thought that this world was my utopia before I lamented that my life was not my life and regretted the hasty decision. By now, I was hoping this world would end. It was a quick change of heart. Still, people did not change easily. I was a person who would not change the way I think. It was late at night, as usual. Distria looped around my waist as I grabbed his hand. The sound of my heart beating thumped. It was the only time to prove the value of my existence. The meaning of my existence was only at night. Unknowingly, I laughed bitterly. I wanted to live this life. Even now, I live that kind of life. As his lips touched my mouth, cheek and ear, the embroidered quilt smelled like flowers. He took off my strange red string underwear and held my breasts in his hands. Biting the apex with his lips and holding it gently, he held my head in his gentle hands. My lips touched the tip of his p*nis. ¡°Open up.¡± I opened my mouth and took his pillar. As the huge p*nis was halfway in his mouth, my jaw choked and was overloaded. Distria stroked my head and slowly pushed it all the way to my throat. He went deep and touched the back, causing me to gag. Saliva flowed out as he moved himself slowly. ¡°Huhp¡­ ugh.¡± Even though he was moving slowly, my upper body was shaking. My chin was sore and my saliva was dripping. He groaned softly and put his fingers under me. The bottom, already soggy from sucking him, welcomed his hand. ¡°Huhk¡­¡± Distria pulled himself out of my mouth. When he put his saliva-soaked, glistening thing inside me, I gasped for breath as he stabbed the inner wall and grabbed the sheet. I shut my eyes. It was the usual ending. It was the end of the day, as usual. A loud noise opened my eyes. When I woke up in the morning, the person who usually greeted me in the morning was not there next to me. I laughed bitterly inside. Habit was a terrible thing. I groped to check his warmth. It was cold. The clothes he left behind were caught in my hands, and I changed my clothes while glancing at the noisy surroundings. I could hear the footsteps of people moving busily through the closed door. People¡¯s screams could be heard outside the window, along with the heavy sound of metal ringing, perhaps equipped with weapons. I felt uneasy. He was the one who killed people endlessly and turned the temple into an enemy just because he wanted to marry me. Still, I never thought that this country would perish. I thought it would never fail. Of course, even though it may fail someday, I was sure it wouldn¡¯t fail in my generation¡­ I was confused by the unexpected catastrophe. I calmed my beating heart. No, it must be an illusion¡­ When I glanced out the window, I inhaled my breath at the endless procession of the large army that rushed into the Imperial Palace. Stepping on the floor barefoot, I hurriedly ran through the corridors of the imperial palace. ¡°Treason has happened. Run away, Empress!¡± The knight guarding the palace said to me, I didn¡¯t pretend to listen to him. Where was Distria? I looked for him. Since when did it stagger like this? Treason? Could it be that Acacia or Lepis brought an army¡­? I ran along the corridor of the Imperial Palace. Thinking so, a certain kind of anticipation rose again, even though I didn¡¯t deserve it. ¡°Arne.¡± Someone called me. It was as if I was hearing an auditory hallucination as I heard the familiar voice. He grabbed my wrist and hugged me. A familiar yet unfamiliar voice, and familiar yet unfamiliar body temperature. My heart skipped a beat as I felt a sense of alienation. Was it him? ¡­It couldn¡¯t be him. He was dead ¡°I missed you.¡± As I turned my head to check on him, I only thought he was dead though Rewan was standing behind my back. I forgot what I was running for. In front of me, I could only see Rewan. The present situation was chaotic, catastrophic, and completely unexpected. At first, I felt stunned rather than happy. My heart was already torn and tattered, and there was not even a handful left in my heart to love him. What was I going to do now? My last wish was not to see him. ¡°You run away¡­ you forget me.¡± Unknowingly, words of resentment came out of my mouth. He didn¡¯t let me go, as if he didn¡¯t care at all. He whispered something in my ear ¡°Am I too late?¡± I turned my head to face him as he spoke full of guilt. As I stared at him, he smiled shyly with his shy eyes. He acted as if no tragedy had ever happened to me. It was somehow awkward and artificial, and it didn¡¯t seem like him. However, this person really was Rewan. When I met him, I thought I would say a lot as if I would be pouring it out but I couldn¡¯t. Still, what to say in an atmosphere so different from what I thought? Like my lips were glued together, I couldn¡¯t say anything. When was I going to pour out words of resentment? ¡°Arne? I¡¯m late¡ª¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s not like that.¡± I grabbed Rewan¡¯s hand. The hand I held against me was hot. I was so happy that I thought for a moment that this place was a dream. Unlike the war-torn surroundings, Rewan and my surroundings were peaceful. The loud sound of weapons hit my ears and raucous screams echoed through the hallway, but I didn¡¯t hear anything. I couldn¡¯t see it. As if something dumbly blocked my ears and covered my eyes. I acted like that person. My love for Rewan, who seemed to be erased, was ridiculously twisted as soon as I saw him. It bloomed like flowers. Even when I burst into laughter at my own selfishness, I moved my feet busily in pursuit of the fantasy-like Rewan¡¯s back. ¡°Stay here for a while.¡± He put me in a certain space. It seemed to be a hidden space in the Imperial Palace. Fear bloomed when I saw Rewan turning his back on me and a few men who seemed to be from him stood guard over me. ¡°Where are you going? Can I not go?¡± I grabbed Rewan¡¯s collar. He looked troubled. He gently took my hand and pulled it off his collar. ¡°I must go.¡± Creak. The door was closed and soon, loud blasts and shrill screams came and went. ¡­Would he come back alive? I felt afraid. __ Chapter 70 Chapter 70 ¨C Sinensis Rewan (1) Rewan did not die that day. He was dragged like a dog and thrown into a corner of the prison. Funny enough, as soon as he got out of the brink of death, he thought of death. It was the life that Arne saved at the cost of her getting insulted, but he wanted to die. Still, when he thought of Arne, he wanted to live. Arne was the existence that made him want to live and die at the same time¡­ It was a contradiction. He thought about death dozens of times a day. He thought his life itself was a sin. He survived, yet he ruined her. It was a guilty feeling. His heart thumped. Perhaps there was no need to tie him up, there were no guards or ropes to tie the prisoners around. Nonetheless, Rewan didn¡¯t think of going out. If cutting off his life was a sin, how about dying naturally? He thought so. In that space, a single light could barely enter. The light faded and rose twice. Two days passed without food or water. After that, someone came to the prison looking for him. He thought it was the death god who came to pick him up. ¡°Do you want revenge?¡± It was a sweet-talking devil. He corrected his thoughts and soon grabbed the hand that was reached out to him, possessed. Externally, Rewan became a dead man. It was a predicted life, and it was a set path. He considered himself a lucky man. Good family, good parents, good siblings, and a good fianc¨¦. He didn¡¯t miss anything. There was no deviation, it was a normal life. Mediocre talent, mediocre effort, mediocre brain, mediocre face. To himself, he was just an ordinary person. Even without much effort, he maintained good grades in terms of swordsmanship. There was no dramatic situation point where he had to work hard to the point of death, and the quiet, peaceful days continued, so the swordsmanship of the Sorano Kingdom was declining. It was easy to stand at the top of the country with the right amount of effort and the right swordsmanship. Too much peace was poison to the country. In their indolence, their level was barely above average. They were people living in a peaceful world. There, only Arne was the one cornered. Rewan saw his perfect fianc¨¦e for the first time. He was indifferent to the things around him besides working for the country that he was not considered a human being. While he had no hobbies or anything, just clinging to his work, he knew it was all because he lost his parents at an early age. However, even for him, his fianc¨¦e, Arne, didn¡¯t leave a single point of the weight. She carried the weight alone. Rewan thought that her stubbornness, noble and dignified appearance was a group image that matched well as a king. Usually, Sorano nobles were those who could be content with a fraction because they had no desire for money or power. Nonetheless, sometimes there were nobles who were aiming for Arne¡¯s position. She didn¡¯t give any gaps to them, who were like a pack of hounds. She was a great and respectable person. She was good enough to serve as king, but still, his affection as a fianc¨¦e never developed. They had never taken a walk together while they had been engaged since childhood or even faced swords. An easy-going master, a mysterious lover¡­ so he just considered her as his master. He was worried about the first night spent with her. He couldn¡¯t imagine the first night with her. It was a truly foolish idea. Even then, he shook his head. As long as it was not hate and hatred, he could keep their engagement relationship with just that level of emotion. Rewan felt at ease. She was a good king, restless, and kept luxuries to a minimum. No one knew that she worked while breaking her body like that. He was frustrated by her inflexibility, but she wasn¡¯t the one to be told. The tongue that spat out the words of advice was rough. In the end, he just closed his lips and stood by Arne. He thought that was his entire job. From that moment on, Arne gave him her side. She handed out a spot. She was originally one who ate alone. ¡°If you haven¡¯t eaten yet, would you like to eat with me?¡± He thought it was a once-in-a-lifetime whim though often, she asked her if he wanted to eat together. On days when they weren¡¯t busy and the time overlapped, they ate together. They didn¡¯t have a friendly conversation, but he was glad that she seemed to build trust with her. He was happy to build a castle called trust. ¡°Would you like to do some sparring if the time permits?¡± That was how the time they spent together increased. Laughing with a face she had never shown before and often playing jokes he wouldn¡¯t understand. It was a special day, and he gave her chocolate that he rarely buys and eats as a gift. He was the only one special to Arne. Only he knew Arne¡¯s smile, and he was the one who shared the most time with Arne, from such a substandard relationship to an ordinary relationship. He thought he would have a normal marriage after spending a normal engagement life. Rewan trusted and believed in Arne. He thought that because of his incompetence, she was being forcibly dragged away by a rude and impolite envoy from the empire. He had a certain sense of indebtedness and had such a sense of debt that he had to do anything. Could this sense of debt arise from the feeling of serving Arne as his master? He wasn¡¯t quite sure how he felt. ¡®No, I have to go to the Empire. If the reason for calling her is unreasonable, then even the Empire will not be able to avoid disaster.¡¯ He believed in his confident and arrogant attitude towards his choice. After arriving in the Carwen Empire, he saw her roaming the Carwen Empire for the rest of her time. He was worried. Was she anxious? She was a workaholic, so she wandered around the Empire because she was anxious about not having work. He asked, worried that she might be anxious. ¡°Are you anxious?¡± When he first asked if she was anxious, Arne said he wasn¡¯t. She was not anxious, she said. Even so, Arne¡¯s behavior did not change, so he didn¡¯t think that Arne was looking at the empire. Arne wasn¡¯t like that. Rewan persisted, asking if she was anxious, but she just replied nonchalantly and casually no. She didn¡¯t even make eye contact with him. Could it be that she couldn¡¯t make eye contact with him because she was worried that her feelings would be revealed? Or was it because Arne didn¡¯t trust him and didn¡¯t confide in him? As he was impatient, a sense of debt grew like a monster. Going to Arne¡¯s residence, he knew it was a disrespect that she wouldn¡¯t like. However, he couldn¡¯t help but act like that out of impatience for no reason. Rewan knocked on the door. ¡°This is Rewan.¡± Arne handed him the tea himself. A sugar cookie was seen in her hand as she served the tea. Seeing that, he felt like something was cut off. The Arne he knew didn¡¯t eat anything like that. ¡°I asked if you were anxious.¡± ¡°No.¡± Then, why was she eating sweets that she didn¡¯t normally eat? It was some kind of frustration, and Rewan felt a sense of betrayal. While she said she wasn¡¯t anxious. She covered her face with both her hands. At first, it was anger at himself for being so incompetent, and later, it was worry about Arne, who couldn¡¯t express even a piece of her heart properly. His stomach was stuffy, and he couldn¡¯t stand it. Hitting the table with his fist, he didn¡¯t know what he had done. He wasn¡¯t aware of what kind of rudeness he was committing. As he grabbed Arne¡¯s shoulder, he buried his head on her shoulder and let out a sigh. ¡°If you are anxious, cry. Tell me it¡¯s hard. Blame me for my incompetence¡­¡± He violently spat out the things he had stored inside and bit his lip. Why was it so difficult to spit out the word resentment? Did he think it would be hard to bear if Arne resented him? It was a sigh mixed with words. Originally, he knew he wouldn¡¯t care if she was anxious or not. Still, what kind of feeling was this? Why was he so angry? ¡°¡­Please resent me.¡± Rewan closed his eyes. He was afraid to see what face she was making. When he opened his eyes slowly, Arne¡¯s expression was indifferent. He was worried that he would hear her resentment, but that day he was rather comforted by Arne. The sense of indebtedness was reduced in size. The rude imperial bastards had no morals. Arne, who received the finger of a noble of the kingdom of Sorano, trembled. Her face went white. Without a word, Rewan left Arne¡¯s residence. Her expression, which she couldn¡¯t bear to hide, made the feeling of indebtedness rise again. And Rewan challenged Distria to a duel. He reluctantly went to his study blindly and threw off his white glove. His glove, which had been blown right onto Distria¡¯s cheek, fell to the floor. ¡°Ha? What are you doing?¡± ¡°I request a duel. The price is my life. If you win, I ask you to send us back to Sorano Kingdom.¡± Even at the rudeness, Distria laughed. And his red lips curled up in an arc. ¡°I don¡¯t care about your life at all, but it sounds like fun. I¡¯ll schedule a date later and send you a message.¡± He laughed. Rewan dreamed of winning the duel and returning to the Kingdom. He trained his sword in his residence, mistaken that he would be able to win easily. He made a huge mistake. In Rewan¡¯s life, he had never really longed for, wanted, or tried to live or die. Moreover, he did not know the level of swordsmanship in the Carwen Empire. That was a factor in his defeat. He lost his fighting spirit in the huge gap. During the duel, the tip of his sword couldn¡¯t even brush the hem of his opponent¡¯s clothes. He was sweating and struggling, but his opponent didn¡¯t even shed a single drop of sweat. He dealt with Rewan only to the extent that he did not die from a fatal wound and only for him to accept surrender. Humiliating, for a moment, he couldn¡¯t even surrender. He faced Acacia¡¯s sword with his trembling hand. ¡°More will kill you.¡± ¡°If I lose anyway, I will die.¡± Rewan wiped away the sweat that flowed along with the blood. In an instant, the distance between him and Acacia narrowed. It was in the blink of an eye. Acacia hit the back of his neck with a sword, and he collapsed down. ¡°His Majesty told me not to kill¡­¡± Behind the blurred vision, Acacia¡¯s voice came. His vision blinked. __ Chapter 71 Chapter 71 ¨C Sinensis Rewan (2) ¡°I risked my life. Why are you suddenly asking for my master¡¯s chastity? This is an outrageous demand.¡± Distria glanced at Rewan, who was covered in scars, with an indifferent look. Red blood dripped from Rewan¡¯s arm, where the blood had not properly stopped yet. As if he still couldn¡¯t figure out his place, Rewan¡¯s eyes shook with anger. Despite his arrogance, Distria couldn¡¯t hold back her laughter as he knocked on the table loudly. There was a crackling, small noise in the room that had been filled with silence. It seemed as though he was quite enjoying the current situation. He was interested in Arne anyway, so he was going to take her by any means. To him, this offer was just a one-time entertainment. To make Rewan have no choice but to abandon his master, Arne, and to see his collapsing reaction¡­ an act that brought despair to Rewan. For Distria, it was just entertainment. Distria stopped the hand tapping on the desk. The room fell silent again. His red lips opened. ¡°Even if you die or get defeated in a duel, I will take her. Who else will protect your king here but you?¡± ¡°¡­But!¡± ¡°Either I take her after you die and there is no one to protect her, or have mercy on her and take her without killing you. It¡¯s one thing, isn¡¯t it?¡± Rewan¡¯s lips were tightly closed. Distria was right. In fact, there was nothing to worry about. He couldn¡¯t bear to choose the option of betraying his master with his own mouth. He made a fool of himself and did what he shouldn¡¯t have done because his reason was overwhelmed by his rage. He blamed himself¡­ still, it was already spilled water. However, he couldn¡¯t speak, as if his jaw was blocked by something. Meanwhile, Distria rose from the seat and slowly approached him. Rewan couldn¡¯t even move or raise his sword, like he was caught up in something. It was outright fear. His face, initially contorted with anger, grew more and more helpless and hopeless. As Distria grabbed Rewan¡¯s chin, he laughed. ¡°I¡¯m giving you a slightly better option now.¡± Despite his humiliating behavior, Rewan could not do anything. The fingertips holding his sword trembled. For the first time in his life, he regretted it. He regretted settling for a normal life and not trying harder. A complacent thought that the peace of Sorano Kingdom would last forever until he died. So even though he was well aware that he was at an average level, he didn¡¯t try. He thought there was no need to try. He had an easy life. He thought it was easy¡­ He thought it was boring. Besides, Rewan thought he was pretty good at this. This was a punishment for the bravado while knowing full well that he was mediocre. This was the punishment for those who found life boring. He couldn¡¯t even grasp his place at the moment, lost his reason in anger, and couldn¡¯t make a reasonable decision. ¡­It was all his fault, all his sins. ¡°I want you to make a choice right now before I kill you and go get her.¡± Distria¡¯s words were cold. The words that came out of his mouth pierced his whole body like a blade stabbing. It was more painful than the still-bleeding wound he had received during the duel with Acacia. He opened his mouth, but no words could come out. Time passed carelessly. It didn¡¯t wait for him to stop. Rewan had to make a choice. None of the choices had good options. He had to answer. Any answer. He opened his lips and closed them again. He had to¡­ answer. Distria¡¯s hand touched his neck. He was getting more and more breathless. ¡­He had no more time. Rewan forced his lips to open. ¡°¡­Instead of life.¡± He managed to spit out his words. He wanted to die. His incompetence, his impatience ruined everything. It gave the worst ending. He hated himself and wanted to die. Humiliated with himself, he thought of death. The words he spat out now weighed more than the weight of her death. He wanted to die¡­ If only he could die ¡°I will offer my master¡¯s chastity.¡± Distria¡¯s hand touched Rewan¡¯s shoulder. Tap, tap. He laughed as he tapped his shoulder. Rewan was miserable. After Distria left the room, he barely swallowed his tears. He didn¡¯t even deserve to cry. He had no excuses about the results. He was incompetent, sold his master to save his life, and was impatient and thoughtless. He was not qualified to be a knight. He thought about death for a long time in front of Distria¡¯s door. How did he come up with the idea of going to Arne¡¯s residence? He had no conscience. Rewan laughed in front of Arne¡¯s door. He wasn¡¯t afraid of death. He had always had death in mind from the moment he held the sword. However, more than death, he was afraid of how Arne would look at him. As he hesitated in front of the door for a long time, he eventually raised his hand, thinking about death. Knocking on the door, he barely opened his mouth. He has sinned. He committed a great and irreparable sin on Arne. He could neither die to apologize nor live to breathe. It was difficult and painful to breathe, and he was choking on his breath. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Rewan.¡± A little time passed, and the door was opened. Rewan closed his eyes. He couldn¡¯t imagine how she would look at him. Oh, he was worried because he didn¡¯t know what conclusions she might have reached, or maybe she had already got the situation report. She must have heard such insulting words to take care of her body because soon her chastity would soon be taken away. Would she look at her as he enters with resentful eyes? Would she blame him for his incompetence? In that fleeting moment, he came up with tens of thousands of possibilities. The brief moment when the door fully opened and Arne faced him passed slowly like an eternity of time. ¡°¡­Rewan? Why are you so hurt?¡± He opened his eyes to the friendly voice full of concern as her warm hand grabbed his. It was so warm, so hot that he wanted to stop crying. He bit his lip. Arne, who had been silently treating his wounds with sincere hands, spoke. ¡°It would not have been a fight for honor. What were you fighting for? What did you lose in return for defeat?¡± He didn¡¯t want to say anything. Her hand holding him was so hot. He wanted to keep feeling that body temperature, afraid that kindness would turn into resentment. Rewan knew his sin. He was not afraid of being scolded and criticized by others for his lack of ability. However, for some reason, he was afraid of Arne¡¯s reprimand that he would hear. He couldn¡¯t even open his mouth. Why? He was scared of being reprimanded by her. ¡­Why? He kept his silence as his body trembled with fear. As Arne stroked his hair, Rewan glanced up at her. At the same time, the worried eyes touched him. He didn¡¯t think he deserved her worries. As he thought so, his heart sank to the surface. He was a sinner¡­ He inhaled a breath as he felt the rolling waves calmly subside. After thinking about it for a long time, he finally uttered one sentence. ¡°I risked my life.¡± Rewan shut his mouth again. After these words, he didn¡¯t know what to say. He didn¡¯t know how to talk, he didn¡¯t know how to speak. He cowardly shut his mouth again. He acted like silence was his weapon. He was a sinner. He was a coward. He was not even a person. I risked my life in a duel, and I sold your chastity for my lack of ability. I risked my life in a duel, but I lived by selling my master. I risked my life¡­ Words he couldn¡¯t bear to say lingered in his mouth. Feeling a thorn in his mouth, he inhaled. He was stopped by Arne while removing the sword from its scabbard. He thought death was atonement, but at the same time, he thought it was flight. The sword fell from his hand. ¡°If you can¡¯t say it, don¡¯t do it.¡± What did he say? He couldn¡¯t remember. Like spitting something, Rewan told Arne about his own incompetence. He confessed his sins, pouring the out. Not knowing what kind of expression she might be making, he shook his head. How. How¡­how to say it¡­ how to live. How to atone. He couldn¡¯t get a feel for it. He was a sinner¡­ A sinner who has neither the right to live nor the right to die in peace. Would it have been easier if she had cursed at him, criticized him for being incompetent, and resented him? He wondered if he would have felt comfortable if she treated him as someone she didn¡¯t know and cursed at him. Still, why didn¡¯t she resent him¡­? He didn¡¯t know. That made him even more anxious. Or was it because he was not trustworthy, so she didn¡¯t express Her feelings? Otherwise¡­ otherwise, she didn¡¯t expect anything from him? Rewan shook his head. He was already a sinner. It was something he had to endure without having to fear Arne¡¯s feelings. It wasn¡¯t something he should care about. ¡­But why was he afraid of being scolded by Arne? He was waiting for Arne, sitting on his knees and waiting for her blankly. What kind of resentment would she have, and what kind of expression would she look at him after spending the night with Distria? He was very worried. He couldn¡¯t even sleep a wink. Was he afraid of being denied his abilities? Or would Arne hate him? Was that what he was worried about? Why was he so anxious and worried about her reaction? Rewan didn¡¯t know. He was staring blankly at the door when Arne came in. After a long wait, she entered the room and spoke to him. ¡°I want to rest. If you have nothing to say, please leave.¡± ¡°How should¡­. I¡­ how should I have acted in the right way?¡± Ironically, Rewan felt a strange jealousy when Arne came in. It was a feeling he did not know. Seeing traces of other people on her body full that were not him, he felt anger. Arne¡¯s white flesh was visible through the gaping gown. He felt some strange feelings towards it. It was a feeling he did not know. His mind was impatient and troubled. The feeling of being cut off by something. Unknowingly, he kissed her. Even a bit of rationality disappeared from the warm body temperature on the soft lips. He shouldn¡¯t do that. It was another sin. As he took off the thin gown, Arne¡¯s mottled white body was exposed. He kissed the lips and put his own marks on top of the red marks. Ah, Rewan, who had come to his senses, looked at the crying Arne. She, who had not confided all of her anger, resentment, and worries to him, was crying sadly. He hurt Arne so much that she couldn¡¯t hide her feelings. He dared to comfort her¡­ Soon, he lowered his outstretched hand back down. In the midst of this, Rewan became aware of his selfish heart. He loved her. And, he was a sinner for her. __ If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know via our discord so we can fix it as soon as possible. Chapter 72 Chapter 72 ¨C Sinensis Rewan (3) The country was ruined. Rewan didn¡¯t realize it. It was only when he was stuck in a space where a ray of light barely entered that he realized it. It all happened so quickly that he thought it was a dream for a while. As he slammed the wall, screamed and laughed, his hand, which had hit the wall, was crushed and bleeding. The blood-soaked walls soon soaked the floor as he gazed down at his tattered hands. Did it hurt? No¡­ it didn¡¯t hurt. Rewan left the bed and lay down on the cold floor. Tears that he thought had cooled off came out of his eyes. After crying for a long time, he sat blankly and stared at a ray of light¡­ even in this situation, he had selfish thoughts. Oh, he¡¯d rather die than be like this. He¡¯d die and do his duty as a knight. The thoughts that didn¡¯t fit¡­ belated regret for being late. Endless selfishness. He was suffering. He was tormented by his selfishness, he was tormented by his incompetence, and he was also tormented by his filthy jealousy toward her for accepting his faults. ¡­As expected, these were his wicked thoughts. It was a pity that he couldn¡¯t apologize properly at the last minute. He didn¡¯t know if they¡¯d ever see each other again. He was pessimistic about the situation and blamed himself. Even so, how could he abandon his master and die? Oh, then he wouldn¡¯t be a knight. He made a living by selling out his master. Rewan was gradually losing his mind. He couldn¡¯t keep his sane mind. Where did all these tragedies come from¡­? Having no strength, he was helplessly dragged by the reaper. All the while riding the carriage to the Karwen Empire, he couldn¡¯t trust Arne and couldn¡¯t run away with her. He thought it was all his fault. Even after that, Arne¡¯s flesh floated before his eyes, and he shuddered with a sense of immortality. He shuddered at the selfishness of someone like him. He must die¡­ His life itself was a sin. He thought so. He hadn¡¯t eaten for days and days. He didn¡¯t eat or drink anything, and he spent the day lying on the cold floor like dead. Rewan constantly blamed himself. Ruthless, conscienceless, incompetent¡­ It took some time for Rewan to get himself together. He ate all the meals and water that were given out occasionally, and steadily trained his body. Although he shouldn¡¯t have been doing this, he was still the only person Arne could trust and wait for here. The place where he was tied up was less monitored than he thought. Perhaps he didn¡¯t even need to be watched. They didn¡¯t even lock the door. When the jailer came to give his meal, Rewan waited for the jailer to disappear before leaving the room. During the day, he avoided people¡¯s eyes and went looking for Arne because his face was not known, so the attendants did not know who he was. So, he walked around the Imperial Palace comfortably. He had to hide when he met other high-ranking nobles though he was relatively free to act. At night, he picked up a wooden stick and swung it. The day was bitter and cold. He swung the wooden stick until his hands were swollen. Rewan was sometimes afraid and distressed. His personal thoughts gnawed at his mind. He thought that there was an insurmountable wall in Acacia, who fought with him. Still, he was always able to shrug it off. However, uneasy feelings and uncertainty for no reason always swirled in his mind. That day was one of those days. He had to meet Arne and say something. I¡¯ll save you soon, so trust me and wait¡­ He wanted to say one thing. He didn¡¯t want to do something that hurt Arne by rushing out again. It was such a heart. It was a day like usual¡­ that day he was looking for her. Seeing the scene was sheer coincidence. The first time he saw the shiny golden hair rustling, he remembered something. Then, he immediately denied it. It sounds soggy, lewd, and obscene, but it should not be. It was not what he was thinking of. Rewan was in denial and tried to move. Rewan¡¯s footsteps stopped at a lewd sound. Just to check. Checking. At first, he doubted his eyes. ¡­Yes, since he sold Arne¡¯s purity to the Emperor. The country was ruined, and the treatment she deserved was obvious. He knew this was the existence of the unknown side of his heart. Even though he knew her treatment, he pretended not to know for a moment. ¡°Right now, here¡­¡± The lips that spewed out words. He should have stepped out, pretending not to know, but his feet just couldn¡¯t move. Rewan habitually looked for his sword. He was stunned that there was no sword at his waist. As he clenched his fist, Raphael started moving his back, which had stopped for a while, before pulling it out completely and putting it back in. ¡°It is the result of the price of your life. Look closely. Loosen your expression and follow the actions¡­ Huut!¡± It felt like bugs were crawling in his stomach as the squelching sound defiled his ears. Raphael tore Arne¡¯s clothes and took out her white breasts, and massaged them. Rewan could feel his blood rushing. Crazy, he thought so. His hands were shaking, and he was angry¡­ still, but he couldn¡¯t do anything. That was what power was like. He didn¡¯t know how great it was when he had it but only realized its value when he lost it. He dismissed the position of the King¡¯s fianc¨¦ and the glory of his family as an ordinary thing,,, ¡°Heup¡­ Go away. I don¡¯t want to show you, heuk!¡± Arne wept. Rewan closed his eyes to the situation, not knowing what or how to do, and eventually stepped back. He didn¡¯t see anything today¡­ he brainwashed himself. The disheveled figure of the King stood out even in the dark background. Was this supposed to be called love? ¡­To lust for her even in this situation. ¡ªSlap. He stopped at the sound of the sharp friction. ¡°Open your eyes. Where are you going? I told you not to move. Look.¡± Rewan did not know what kind of intention he had in mind as he watched the action. He longed for a quick end. He was just dazed. Raphael, who had finished before he knew it, approached him, dressed roughly in his clothes. He came close to him and whispered. ¡°Your king¡¯s p*ssy was delicious. Would you like to try it, too?¡± It was insulting and humiliating. As he felt a loss of power, he realized that what he had in the past was special. His heart beat loudly. ¡°Ah, I heard you offered your king to the Emperor? Try it.¡± His vision flashed white. Raphael laughed. ¡°Hey, you go and lick it clean.¡± His body trembled. It was an order that he could not refuse or could not do anything about. He just had to do it. He was their dog as long as they held the King¡¯s death on a leash. Ah, he was frustrated and desperate. Even if he built up his strength and challenged them, would Arne be able to hold on until then? Even in this short meeting, he felt an unbearable insult, shame and his mind wore out. Rewan¡¯s steps towards Arne were heavy. ¡°¡­Sorry.¡± When did his palms bleed so much? He stroked Arne¡¯s face gently. Sorry. Sorry for the lack of power¡­ The words were too heavy to spit out, so Rewan chewed and swallowed them. He grabbed her legs, spread them apart, and stuck his tongue out. The smell of pungent s*men wafted from underneath, which was already messy as Arne grabbed his head in defiance. At the same time, disgust welled up. A certain revulsion arose at his tight member. Even in this situation, it was amazing that his thing could stand. He was dumbfounded and tears came out. Rewan licked off the bloody thighs and raised his head. A little bit of surprise and apologist. Arne¡¯s expression rather dried him up. Don¡¯t be sorry. As he swallowed the words he couldn¡¯t spit out, Raphael came up to him as if he had enjoyed watching. ¡°I¡¯ll go to my room and check back to see if it¡¯s licked clean.¡± He felt resentful for not being able to do anything even after hearing these words. His steps staggered. So, he locked himself in the room again. The door did not open after that, probably because of Raphael¡¯s influence, and sometimes, he was led out by the jailer¡¯s hand. He didn¡¯t know where he was going and was dragged outside with his eyes covered. After he was washed clean, put on decent clothes, and took some unknown medicine, he soon became a s*x partner for a noble lady of such a high rank or a widow. He had s*x with them with his hands tied, blindfolded, on a leash, and drugged. ¡­No, he was thoroughly used. Sometimes, when he was lying on the floor after all the actions, Raphael would visit Rewan. Not wanting to listen to Raphael, he turned his body to lie on his side. The chains tied around his wrists clattered, showing off his presence. The medicine still didn¡¯t go away, so his body, which hadn¡¯t cooled down, spewed out heat. ¡°I think you¡¯ll build up your sexual desire, too. I made this special place for you. Aren¡¯t you happy as well?¡± Rewan wanted to tear apart his mouth as he spat out those heinous words. Raphael¡¯s long fingers touched Rewan¡¯s member. It was cold. He shook his body. He wanted to die instantly. Even though he was drunk with the medicine, he felt it in Raphael¡¯s hand. Raphael gently touched Rewan¡¯s pillar with his hand. Raphael laughed. ¡°Oh, do you want Arne?¡± ¡°¡­ shut up.¡± Raphael laughed. He seemed to be happy with the situation. He even hummed. ¡°I lit a scented candle and had s*x with Arne. Your King, who went crazy, was so pretty.¡± Raphael ran his hand over Rewan¡¯s pillar-like tapping a desk. Rewan¡¯s breathing became rough. The chain that was tied behind the back made a sound. ¡°She cried very beautifully.¡± ¡°¡­I said shut up.¡± ¡°Would you cry like that, too, if I put it in? Shall I f*ck you up your an*l?¡± At those words, he rocked his body from side to side. It was an expression of fierce denial. The next moment, Raphael grabbed his chin before removing the red cloth from his eyes. Rewan looked disgusted at Raphael, who came close to him and spat in his face. Raphael frowned. Wiping the spit with his thumb, he licked it with his tongue. ¡°Or, you can go have s*x with Arne.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± His violent movements stopped in an instant. ¡°Open it yourself¡­ or I will leave.¡± He then pulled on Rewan¡¯s leash. Rewan spread his legs without speaking. He seemed to be going out of his mind. He wanted to die. Even while his mind was crumbling, he was worried about Arne, who was going through this humiliation. __ If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know via our discord so we can fix it as soon as possible. Chapter 73 Chapter 73 ¨C Sinensis Rewan (4) It was a series of days like that¡­ days of humiliation, shameful and intolerable things. He still couldn¡¯t die. He just lived because he couldn¡¯t die. Rewan was lying on the cold floor. He regretted the thoughts he had in the old days when he was young. He thought life was boring¡­ he thought it was a normal life¡­ He regretted the thought of an arrogant, unruly, and lowly person who had never been in a low place before. He did not know that the life of the lowly was intense and poor. It was a conditional regret and reflection. Wishing he hadn¡¯t experienced something like this, he knew that this thought was deception and his selfishness. Now, Rewan couldn¡¯t stand it at all without thinking about whether such a thought would have any meaning. He couldn¡¯t stop thinking. It seemed to him that he would not be able to bear it any longer when he thought about reality, facing the bottom, and could not get any better. Even though he always had other thoughts like this, he thought of death on the day he slept with Raphael and others like a tool. It was a selfish decision, so he shook his head. His life didn¡¯t belong to him. So how did he live? In fact, he couldn¡¯t even distinguish whether living like this was life or hell. If he lived like this, he would die someday. ¡­He hoped for death, not an improved life. Arne was at the end of his mind, which was gradually worn out. How was she holding on now? Was she thinking of him? Did she resent him for his incompetence? Or was she broken like him? He wanted her to resent and hate him, and kill him. He wished for death He wanted death. He stared blankly at the light leaking in and closed his eyes. A ray of light went out and faded. He lost his mind as he felt the sight gradually losing light. At the same time, he thought about death. He repeated the meaningless day after day. He stood still, unable to do anything, like a wind-up doll that was rusted and broken. All the resolutions and wills he made at the beginning faded away, leaving only fragments. It¡¯d been quite a while since he didn¡¯t practice. There was no more hope left. The door opened with the sound of something hitting. It was a hellish life, but it was better than the first time. Still, he laughed at how he was accepting of this situation, assuming that humans are animals of adaptation. He forcibly straightened his staggering leg as he took a step in front of the door. Rewan stood tall and stopped when he saw the person who had come to pick him up. For a moment, he thought he was looking at the wrong person. He burst out laughing. His brain was pure white. It was hazy. Not good at judging the situation, he just stared blankly at Acacia. Only heavy silence lingered in the room. Rewan knew full well that he had no right to blame Acacia. However, as soon as he saw him, a sense of anger rose from the depths of him, which he did not know where it originated from. Was this anger toward him who put Rewan here? Could it be that he resented Acacia for making him unable to become a knight? Was it a sense of entitlement that made him afraid of even dreaming of beating Acacia by a huge margin? ¡°¡­.¡± What to say, what to say? He didn¡¯t know why Acacia came here. Should he be angry? He kept his mouth shut, afraid that if he opened his mouth, a bad resentment that he couldn¡¯t bear to come out would come out. Rewan¡¯s eyes turned red. He struggled to swallow his tears. It was not that he was unwilling to accept the outcome of the duel with Acacia. Still, he didn¡¯t want to live life like this¡­ It was the wrong choice, the wrong path. He wanted his own death, but he certainly did not want to live by selling Arne¡¯s chastity. He didn¡¯t want to live like that. He lived like that¡­ lamenting the inability to die. Acacia did nothing wrong¡­ he was Distria¡¯s knight, and he only obeyed his master¡¯s orders. Acacia also didn¡¯t know it would turn out like this. However, resentment rose, and Rewan bit his lip. Nevertheless, he didn¡¯t want to vent his resentment. He didn¡¯t want to fall more to the bottom. The resentment that he couldn¡¯t let go and the sadness lingered in his mouth. As a knight¡­ as a knight. After falling into the abyss like this, does he still want to save face? Has he still not grasped reality properly? Buzz. Rewan¡¯s head went white, as his body was uncontrollable and trembled as he leaned against the wall and let out a heavy breath. Stop, stop¡­ Feeling like his mind was being gnawed. He couldn¡¯t bear to let out his rough breath in front of Acacia, so he swallowed it in his mouth. Acacia¡¯s lips opened. ¡°I came for a request.¡± His heart thumped. He already knew it in his head because the guard who was coming to pick him up was down behind Acacia, and he didn¡¯t harm him. But, a request¡­ from whom, for whom¡­ by whom. His heart was beating with a thumping sound. He already knew this in his head. Arne, Arne. Arne. Her name lingered in his mouth. His hands trembled. It was a reality he wanted to deny. He murmured as if he was spitting out words he couldn¡¯t utter. Arne. I am your knight. Arne. I am your knight. ¡­The knight of the enemy country that ruined your country is Acacia¡­ yet, why do you trust him more than me? He wanted to stop Acacia from talking about Arne. ¡­Don¡¯t do it, stop it. Shut up. Rewan couldn¡¯t recover from the surging waves of emotion. He felt as if his heart was about to collapse¡­ he knew his incompetence¡­ he knew his fault. Even so, he believed that only he could protect her and support her. That was how he was able to endure the harsh time. Still, Arne¡­ No. That wasn¡¯t it. Was it his delusion? ¡°Is that so?¡± The words that came out trembled. Although he wanted to pretend to be calm, he couldn¡¯t bear it. Hiding the emotions that had left him feeling empty and exhausted, hiding his dry and crumbly feelings, he followed Acacia. He went to Arne, whom he had thought about for so long, but the path was disgraceful. it wasn¡¯t his way. Piece by piece, something cracked and crumbled. There was no place to complain and no place to blame. It was only now that he received the payment for his sins, the payment for the sins that Arne received as well. It was his fault. Still, being human, he couldn¡¯t stand the feeling of falling apart. He suppressed the crying that was about to burst out. That was his limit. Arne. Arne. Arne. How can you do this to me? He thought of words that would disappear from his mouth that he could not say. He got off the carriage and met Arne waiting for him inside Acacia¡¯s mansion. He couldn¡¯t hold back the tears bursting out of her as soon as he saw her. As he cried, he had a trivial argument with Arne. It was a unilateral anger he had. After that¡­ it was an act that came out of some impulse. So, he¡­ strangled Arne. He didn¡¯t have the right to end her life, nor did he have the right to resent her. He was just distracted by her actions and words that comforted him. It was nothing but dirty jealousy. Disgusting¡­ How could he feel the feeling of jealousy in this situation? It was so appalling that he laughed inwardly. ¡®¡­I¡¯m fine.¡¯ ¡®¡­It¡¯s not okay.¡¯ He gazed at Arne with a surprised expression as if he was shocked by his own words. Arne was still wide-eyed and surprised though there was no way other people¡¯s outrageous behavior was okay. I know you. ¡­So don¡¯t pretend you¡¯re okay, please don¡¯t pretend you¡¯re okay, don¡¯t tell me it¡¯s okay. ¡®Don¡¯t comfort me.¡¯ He wanted to kill Arne, who didn¡¯t trust him. Not okay, spewing out false emotions¡­ What kind of entitlement was this? Why did she show all her heart to Acacia? To say those feelings that she hadn¡¯t told him. Why did she say she missed me and let out painful emotions? How can you do that to me? This was obvious jealousy, a feeling that didn¡¯t fit the situation. I am her knight. I am her knight¡­ He was losing his thoughts. Arne¡¯s body weakened like a corpse. She drained her body of strength as if she would entrust her life to him. Seeing that, Rewan¡¯s heart thumped. He couldn¡¯t believe what he had done. Now¡­ what had he done? What were you thinking? I was, I was a fool. I was a madman. I¡¯m crazy¡­ He tried to kill her for sparing his life and giving his life back. No, the truth was, he never wanted a life like that. Even in this situation, he felt nasty jealousy towards her and wanted to kill her. ¡­No, actually, he wanted to die. Drip, drip. Blankly, tears flowered. He was crazy¡­ he was obviously crazy. Otherwise, there was no way he would do such a thing to his master. This was jealousy and a desperate desire to kill her and end his life. Arne¡¯s red neck was visible. He gazed down at his hands that held her neck as his hands felt like those of a hideous monster rather than human hands. He wanted to cut both his hands. His hands were shaking. Unfortunately, Arne hugged him and cried. ¡°Don¡¯t cry.¡± He woke up to the sound of Arne¡¯s cold voice. He wanted to somehow manage this situation and stay by her side. It was a selfish thought¡­ no, but she needed him. It was some kind of struggle. ¡°¡­Forgive¡­ forgive me.¡± ¡°Leave this place.¡± He couldn¡¯t breathe properly at her cold words. ¡°Come back with more power.¡± Her whispers murmured. I can¡¯t hear you. He wanted to scream that. ¡°Ho¡­ how can¡­¡± He let out a short cry. Don¡¯t you know the time I¡¯ve endured? Don¡¯t you think of me? ¡­No, it was his fault. It was the result of his mistake. Why was he asking Arne to think of the time that was caused by his own sin? ¡°This is an order.¡± ¡°¡­Please, please. Please take the order back¡­ I-I was, wrong¡­ wrong.¡± Rewan was devastated. Leaning down, he grabbed Arne by the ankle. Even though he didn¡¯t even deserve to cry, his tears kept flowing and he just cried. He let out words of pleading out of his mouth. He had no right to say that to her. ¡°Arne¡­ ple¡­please, let me breathe in the same space as you.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Arne, please, please¡­ don¡¯t¡­ send me.¡± No amount of pleading made Arne¡¯s heart change. He spat out many pleading words. I want to be by your side. I just want to be by your side. It was a selfish mind, and every time he spat it out, his selfishness broke his heart. He confessed his sins and selfishness to the extent that nothing was left after being shattered and crumbled¡­ until there was nothing left. He threw it all out. __ If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know via our discord so we can fix it as soon as possible. Chapter 74 Chapter 74 ¨C Sinensis Rewan (END) He touched the money he received from Acacia. There was a sound of gold coins clashing and clanging. Rewan didn¡¯t know how he got on or off the carriage in what mind¡­ He laughed dejectedly at the open sky he hadn¡¯t seen in a long time, then cried. It¡¯d been a long time since he has been out. The blue sky he hadn¡¯t seen in a long time¡­. it¡¯d been a long time since he felt the sunlight. He felt a sense of happiness at seeing this scenery he hadn¡¯t seen in a while. He was happy to see the sun go down and to see the sunrise. At the same time, he felt a sense of helplessness. A life like this¡­ was pitiful to live on and it could be considered filthy. Even then, for some reason, he felt unfair and cried while hitting himself in the chest. He was struggling like he was about to die, but the world turned and the day and night and time went by. The country was ruined, his life was thrown into hell¡­ and he betrayed his master¡¯s trust. Even though he wanted the world to end as well as his own life, only his world was ruined. It was such a trivial injustice. It was a shame that only he knew. He broke down and cried. When he stared at the Imperial Palace, which looked blurry in the distance, he hated it. It was hateful¡­ It was a place where it would be okay for him to tear it apart. As the felt anger seething from deep within, he was helpless. He got frustrated and he felt disgusted because he was so incompetent for talking like that, even though he had no strength. Several days have passed since then. The number of knights in the Imperial Palace looking for him increased. Thinking of Arne, while it would be right to leave, he couldn¡¯t take a step. Was there anything he can do by staying there? Again, it was right to leave rather than hold back. What kind of regret is this¡­ what kind of heart is this? He was not helpful, and he was not helping, so his master was helped by the knights of the enemy country¡­ and when she was being helped by an enemy knight, she was sexually exploited by others and used as a tool¡­ He didn¡¯t know what to do¡­ he forgot his duty. It was not all his fault¡­ Being sexually exploited, being used as a tool, and forgetting what to do. It wasn¡¯t all his fault. He knew, but he didn¡¯t know. Rewan was constantly pacing and blaming himself. What nights he had, what days he had, what feelings he had. ¡­That didn¡¯t mean anything in front of Arne because he was a sinner before her. He crammed himself into a small room and slept in fear of those who pursued him. He couldn¡¯t sleep comfortably for a single day. Even so, Rewan did not think of leaving this place. It was because if he left this place, he would betray Arne even more¡­ He didn¡¯t want that. And now, he regretted not leaving. He could not have imagined that there would be a worse hell than this. Originally, misfortune came without anyone knowing. Rewan hated himself more than anyone else. After he was hit with a blunt weapon and fell down, when he opened his eyes, he was in a familiar basement. For a moment, he thought it was a dream at first and closed his eyes again. As the cold fingers pulled his hair up, he realized the reality. The moment he heard Distria¡¯s laugh, the feeling of killing was shining in his darkened eyes. Rather than wanting to tear apart him, Rewan wanted Distra to kill him right away. It was foolish mind. He wanted to run away from reality. The corners of Distria¡¯s mouth went up in an arc. His life was in hell. What kind of life where one ended their life? The next moment, Distria grabbed his chin. With the the whisper in his ear that was hateful, sharp metal pieces cut through his entire body. ¡°I will not kill you.¡± Even when his body was torn apart, he felt no pain. It was more heartbreaking than that. He¡¯d rather cry out to be killed. At the end of his life, he remembered Arne so he persevered hard. She was a contradictory existence that made him want to live while making him want to die. Holding on to his broken mind, Rewan didn¡¯t know that everything would break into pieces. He smiled dejectedly. He was split and torn like that and hung on a pole. Drip, drip. His blood dripped and made a puddle. He could feel the gazes of others. Even in the situation where his death was on display, even in the situation where the blood that fell from his body was drying up and twisting, he was worried about Arne. Rewan was worried about Arne, who would be shocked to see him like this. This was his fault. It was his fault for not leaving even though she told him to leave. It was his fault that he was intoxicated with his own thoughts and remained only with that short-sighted mind, determined not to betray Arne. Although She gave him a chance to leave this place, how could a knight leave his master¡­ It happened because she didn¡¯t listen to her order properly. His life was a sin. Rewan mocked himself. He didn¡¯t want Arne to visit him. He knew it was an impossible wish¡­ yet he wanted it. He hoped she didn¡¯t see him. Time passed, and as he stepped onto the threshold of death, he had the last thought of wanting to see Arne so he persevered. It was because he wanted to apologize one last time. It was such feelings and such thoughts¡­ That was why he held on, but he didn¡¯t want to owe his life that way. He didn¡¯t want to live so miserably. He regretted not dying. ¡­What was the use of a last apology? He couldn¡¯t help but laugh at the feeling of joy in not being able to die, hitting the ground, and then raising his head. He was happy that she wanted to save him¡­ even if he struggles with disgust at his selfishness or even if he regrets his life in the feast that unfolds before his eyes¡­ He was happy about that fact. Terrible selfishness. Ahh, Arne. ¡®Don¡¯t do that. Arne, please¡­¡¯ He loved her. Did she love him? No, it couldn¡¯t be. He ruined her life by her, he disrespected her. How could she love him? Arne moved her steps toward him. She came up to the podium with wobbly legs and lowered herself. Arne. I was sorry for you. I couldn¡¯t do anything for you. I¡¯m sorry I can¡¯t give you anything¡­ but how are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to save me so much? I¡¯m looking forward to this situation as well. Do you love me¡­ It was a selfish mind. It was a selfish feeling. He forcibly suppressed the words he wanted to say. ¡°Run away. Don¡¯t come back.¡± ¡°¡­Ar¡­ ne.¡± He wanted to ask. Rewan opened his lips. ¡®Do you love me?¡¯ It made him sick to see himself trying to take care of his selfishness even in such a miserable situation. As he was disgusted with wishing she loved him, he shook his head even though he wondered if it was love for her that she did this. How can she love someone like him? ¡°¡­Forget me.¡± He gazed into Arne¡¯s eyes and gave up his thoughts. He asked another question. Why did you save me, who was useless and couldn¡¯t do my job properly? ¡°Why¡­why¡­ Did you save me?¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°I¡­I am not even a knight. I¡¯ve already insulted you twice, and I held you down with my life¡­ Why did you save me?¡± The words he really wanted to ask were buried in his heart. Rewan really wanted to die¡­ he wanted to end this bottomless life. ¡°Why! Why did you save me after going through such humiliation?¡± He wanted to chew on his lips, which were chattering uncontrollably with agitation. He wanted to rip out his tongue. Rewan wanted to cry. Why was he angry? Why would he¡­ ¡°I¡­¡± Arne¡¯s lips moved and closed. He mocked himself, fluttering and anticipating her. As he shook his head, it was only now that he realized the semen on Arne¡¯s body. It was the result of saving him. His heart, excited with anticipation, fell to the floor. Rewan busily moved his hand. The semen, which had already hardened, adhered to her body and could not be erased. He wept. With what qualifications could he do that? He felt his reason wear and crumble. He must be crazy to try to whisper love even under these circumstances. It was clear what had happened to his head. ¡°I¡¯m, I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡­can¡¯t, wipe, wipe it off.¡± Arne said nothing. She¡¯d be disgusted. She must have gone through harsh humiliation to save him, but he took his anger out on her like that. Yet he was a selfish person¡­ he was a disgusting person. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­because I¡¯m alive¡­ Because I can¡¯t do anything.¡± Rewan quietly held Arne in his arms. His heart thumped and made a sound, unable to grasp the situation. He hoped she couldn¡¯t hear his heartbeat. This, this, wasn¡¯t his heart. Even in this situation, the beating heart was not his heart. He was suffering. He choked several times a day and suffered several times a day. Still, it was the sin he had committed and the karma he had committed, and it was something he had to solve. He insulted his master twice, took his anger out on her, and¡­ he wanted to die because he was disgusted and distressed for having acted like that. Even though he was forcibly moving in line with the cause of revenge, he was the one who hurt the one he loved. Every night he woke up gasping for breath. It was too late to sleep. Rewan didn¡¯t know why she saved him, so he just worked hard on what he was told to do. Kill people, kill people. Solving epidemics and killing people¡­ He killed many people. He struggled in pain when hearing Arne¡¯s story that came from time to time. Arne had lost her mind. She was sent to the temple¡­ and soon, the Emperor abandoned the temple. She became the Empress and the grand wedding was held. The Emperor killed all who opposed the marriage. These stories¡­ It was painful. He wanted to plug his ears and block them. Everyone liked that the Emperor was mad about the woman and ruining the country. Saying that his reason was paralyzed, they liked it because they could easily succeed in rebellion¡­ but why was he suffering? Many stories, many things. He was a sinner to her. By the way, rather than the story that Arne had lost her mind, the news that she was married made him sad. He was so jealous he couldn¡¯t stand it. It was bitterly selfish, ungrateful and ignorant. He wanted to forget. Rewan wanted to erase all the sins he has committed and the mistakes he has made. As he cried every night, suffered every night, he chose death every night His wrists were already torn to shreds and rags. ¡°Haah¡­ Huuh¡­¡± He covered his mouth in the corner and cried as there was nowhere to pour out his heart. It was a solitary and lonely place. Even if they were preparing for a rebellion, they were not on his side. He cried every day. He cried and sighed at the sight of himself unable to do anything. When did he become so broken and weak? He mocked himself. He hated himself. His self-mocking feelings were bitter, more than self-pity. He made himself feel like a terrible person. He was not used to killing people either. His heart died. Even though he thought of Arne, but he also suffered from thinking of her. Rewan forgot because he wanted to forget¡­ He forgot, not wanting to recall. So the day he met Arne, he was able to not cry. He wasn¡¯t even patient. He forgot and could have forgotten. However, his suffering heart immersed in the abyss appeared in a different way. __ If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know via our discord so we can fix it as soon as possible. Chapter 75 Chapter 75 ¨C What Ending (1) The place had no light coming in, so it was impossible to guess the passage of time. Still, the loud noise did not seem to subside as the floor above my head thumped because of the hasty movements of people¡¯s feet. Those guarding me by my side opened the creaking door and savagely sliced through those entering the underground passages. The underground space, which only smelled damp and damp, was filled with the smell of blood. My mind was lost in an unrealistic situation. Though since I couldn¡¯t judge the situation, I stopped thinking as my head was overloaded. I had doubts. His mirage-like appearance. He, who swallowed all the resentment, anger, and pain, felt like an illusion¡­ Was it true that I had just met Rewan? However, the hand he was holding was still hot. When I checked the warmth remaining in my palms, my heart raced. I had no choice but to admit that my heart was beating like the day we met at Acacia¡¯s Mansion. I loved him more than the pleasures that filled half my life. It was a feeling that I was afraid to admit because my whole life would be shaken, and it felt like I denied my life, for not a single moment had I lived without pleasure. The mean, terrible, and selfish me loved him without shame¡­ the me who made fun of his death, the me who hurt him, the me who didn¡¯t even dare to love him, and that me loved him. ¡®I love you, I love you¡­¡¯ I should not love him. The end of that terrible scale was love. Nonetheless, it was a futile and unnecessary confession now. It was humorous to come up with this result now. It was funny to realize love now¡­ it was. It was me who gave up on him and chose pleasure. But¡­ but, the furiously beating heart pointed in only one direction. I want to see him. I want to tell him I love him. It ran so selfishly. When did I turn my back, pretending not to know about his death, and now? Too late, it was too late. It was really my ugly side that had no bottom and no end. It is the height of selfishness. This was my terrible idea of acting as I pleased. I didn¡¯t have a principle, and I just made important choices according to my feelings at the time¡­ This was karma. Even if it was a thoughtless life, that shouldn¡¯t be the case for him. I realized my love for him, and from the moment I recognized that I loved him, I kept him alive. In order to follow the original story, I shouldn¡¯t act to pursue pleasure. It was comic seeing me do all the things that hurt him and now pursue love. However, I wanted to say that I was a selfish person¡­ even if it was a selfish choice, I wanted to be happy with him. Go to him. Say I love you. Because of that short and simple thought, my heart whispered to tell him I loved him and died. If that was the case, I had acted selfishly, not understanding Rewan¡¯s heart to see my death. It was the only thought I wanted to act on, so I couldn¡¯t control my mind. I raised my body, which had been sprawled in the corner like a corpse. Why was Rewan helping their rebellion? Lepis said he was dead, but how was he alive? Rather than these things, was Rewan okay now? Did he get hurt¡­? As I was curious about such little things, I couldn¡¯t wait to open the door and go to Rewan right away. ¡®¡­I have to go to him.¡¯ Even though he was close by, I was anxious to know his life and death. My mental state was clouded because I couldn¡¯t judge the situation well. I couldn¡¯t hear anything in my ears as my eyesight was dyed achromatic. Only the turbulence of the heart was distinctly felt. ¡®I have to go to him¡­ he needs me.¡¯ My brain was paralyzed, my rational thinking was paralyzed, so I acted like that. My guards seemed to be saying something as they saw me moving hurriedly, yet I couldn¡¯t hear anything. The body that had already half jumped out stepped on the corpse they had crushed. The soles of my feet were wet with blood. Loud sounds from around came back as a ringing. My stomach was boiling, my heart was burning, and I felt like I was going crazy. I staggered and put my hand on the doorknob before pushing on the door and moving my body. At that moment, a rough hand with calluses was placed on top of mine. At that moment, color was added to the colorless world. The man¡¯s lips opened and closed several times though the words were interrupted. ¡°You¡­ stay, still¡­. That¡­ Re, help¡­¡± Grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him, he threw me to the floor. I woke up from the sudden pain. Startled, I looked around. What were you doing? A loud noise came into my ears. I realized the current situation as I watched the ear-piercing screams, the sound of blades colliding, and the flashing metal that spoke of sharpness. The buzzing noises rang in my ears. The sense of reality that had been lost for a while came back. I slumped down on the floor. There was nothing I could do, so I cried out loud. He was right¡­ Even if I went now, there was nothing I could do, and I couldn¡¯t help. It was better for me to remain still. Still, it was so sad. I cried because I was so pathetic that I was always unhelpful and hurtful. ¡°Tsk¡­ They said she was crazy, but she doesn¡¯t seem crazy at all.¡± I fiddled with my fingers and waited for the time to pass. Before I knew it, I tore through the flesh between my fingernails, and blood flowed. How long had it been? Was there any progress? The ghastly screams were still there, and the scent of blood leaking incessantly from somewhere filled the cellar. A pungent, gloomy scent of death¡­ I wished that there would be no Rewan¡¯s in the scent of blood overflowing and stimulating the tip of my nose. The surroundings fell silent, and the men opened the cellar door, which had been tightly closed. Holding their hands, I passed the entrance to the cellar, where the corpses were stacked neatly. The red soles of my feet, already soaked in blood, stepped on them, making them even darker. Red footprints were stamped everywhere. There was nobody, as if it had already been cleaned once. However, there was a lot of blood on the floor and on the walls. The freshly splattered blood stains that didn¡¯t seem to have cool down gave goosebumps all over. The stillness was creepy. ¡­Was the rebellion successful? My heart thumped. After meeting Rewan, it didn¡¯t matter whether the empire was ruined or not. His safety was my only concern. Everything fell apart and was ruined, and I was convinced that Distria had lost. As I moved my steps briskly, I passed through a door with a large hole with scratches here and there. I passed the bloodstained marble floor. I passed the red throne. It had been a long time since I¡¯d been away from those who had already supported me. Not knowing what might be at that end, I moved forward, half-sure of the person at the end. The hazy shape took shape. I could see the familiar white hair that had become a bit muddy. My heart was filled with overwhelming anticipation. I stepped out slowly. While my heart was colored with joy, there was anxiety on one side. Could I be happy¡­? That misfortune was not a choice, but I chose misfortune. Could I be happy like that? I was worried about whether or not I could be happy. I disregarded everyone¡¯s safety and took pleasure selfishly. I ignored their sympathy and hurt their hearts. Was I the kind of person who could take love in the end? That was unsettling because I thought I was not worth being happy¡­ I felt like that happiness was not mine. In no time, the distance was close enough to touch his back. The person I saw was not a fantasy, so tears were overflowing and my lips were heavy as I spoke. I called his name. I couldn¡¯t bear to stretch out his hand, I couldn¡¯t reach it, so I spit it out. ¡°Re¡ª¡± He turned to me. ¡°¡­wan?¡± My eyes met the emotionless black eyes. He was a stranger. I didn¡¯t even know who he was or why he was here. Where was Rewan? My heart was broken without a sound. My heart thumped. The heart that was filled with joy fell to the floor and disappeared in pieces. It wasn¡¯t the dull platinum hair. The sunlight glared at the hair, making it bright. ¡°Are you¡­ Arne?¡± I wasn¡¯t curious about who he was or how he knew me. Rather, I was just surprised by the unexpected situation, so I backed away from him, who was approaching me. I didn¡¯t think Rewan wouldn¡¯t be here. I thought he would be waiting for me here. A common illusion, and the feeling of waking up from a dream. As the stranger, who was gradually closing the distance, I collapsed on the floor in fear of the scene that was different from his imagination. Then, where was Rewan? Is the Rewan I saw just an illusion? Did I live in a short delusion for a while? Or did I create that person to not suffer so much? My legs gave out, and I sat down. Where is he? I looked at my hand, which had cooled down and had only a little warmth left. I laughed. ¡°Ah, as rumored, you¡¯re beautiful.¡± What was his intention in discussing beauty in this situation? My fingertips were cold and trembling at the words that did not match the situation, and my head was not working properly. It stopped. The man¡¯s lips parted. ¡°Rewan.¡± ¡°Rewan? Rewan, where is he?¡± He didn¡¯t even finish his words, but I jumped up as a reflex at the word Rewan. I was rude to him as if my reason was paralyzed. Even though I shouldn¡¯t treat him like this, as he knew about Rewan., my body trembled. Soon, the insensitive eyes reached me, and his gaze landed on my hand. ¡°Tsk. We need to treat this.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t hurt at all! Where is Rewan?¡± I shouted at him holding my hand and looking at me before I shook his hand. Even the slightest movement made me gasp for breath. He smiled as if he was happy with the situation. Laughter spread through the desolate space as he held the hilt of his sword and said nothing¡­ I couldn¡¯t help but let out a self-deprecating laugh. I didn¡¯t know what to do. ¡°You lost. You have nothing.¡± I wasn¡¯t curious about what he said, even though the answer was different from my question, and the meaning was something I couldn¡¯t understand. I felt like I was about to burst into tears with anxiety if he was safe or not. This was my position. His hand touched my shoulder. He softly whispered words into my ear. It was a sweet voice. ¡°Look at the floor, Arne.¡± Only then did I see black hair letting out a rough breath. It was him¡­ Distria. I stared blankly at him, pouring red blood from near his chest. The faint focus and the whitened skin were talking about death. ¡°This is the end of him who dropped you into the abyss.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± Read latest Chapters at WuxiaWorld.Site Only ¡°And, your credit for this person being like this is great.¡± I stared blankly at his lips as he spat out nonsense. I didn¡¯t know this person¡¯s downfall. __ Chapter 76 Chapter 76 ¨C What Ending (2) The sun always rises again in the morning. As the seasons change, flowers wither and bloom again. It was as natural as that. People will die someday. Still, I never imagined his death. He was arrogant, cruel and bloody, and he always lived close to death. He always smelled of blood. Always the one who drove others to death, he was a man who looked down on death. It made no sense that I had never thought of such a person¡¯s death. The shadow of death always eluded him. He didn¡¯t dodge it this time, though. As I gazed at the blood-soaking floor, I could see deep red marks in the desolate space where the light faded and disappeared. My eyes went to the blood that continued to expand its territory. The traces of blood reached my toes. The blood was so cold that I couldn¡¯t imagine that it was the blood that had just flowed through his body. ¡°Is¡­is he alive or dead?¡± I went silent for a long time before finally opening his mouth. The words that came out were not smooth. He seemed out of place to be alive though acknowledging death was better than denying life. The mouth that confirmed his life and death was rough. ¡°No. Unfortunately, his death is not mine.¡± When he was told he wasn¡¯t dead, my body relaxed. I didn¡¯t say it out of concern for his life or death. However, it just made me feel dizzy. Strong arms entangled my body as I fell to the floor, and I heard breathing in my ears. ¡°Don¡¯t get hurt anymore. You can¡¯t get hurt.¡± ¡°Why¡­?¡± ¡°Because he is crazy.¡± My heart beat loudly, and my speaking lips trembled. ¡°H-he, who is he?¡± ¡°Rewan.¡± When I confirmed that he was alive, my mind went blank. The man¡¯s voice could be heard vaguely in the distance. ¡°But he has to say¡­¡± He was alive. I opened my eyes. It was an unfamiliar space, not the room he always stayed in, and the surroundings were bright. When I got up, my hand, which was wounded in anxiety, was wrapped in a white cloth. Even the soles of my feet, which had been dyed red, returned to their original color. The castle was visible through the window. And when I turned my head, I saw reddish hair that I hadn¡¯t seen in a long time. I couldn¡¯t believe his existence. So for a while, everything stopped. I was the one who hurt him and let him go though I didn¡¯t know why he came looking for me. I grabbed Lepis¡¯ collar as he turned around. The purple eyes touched me. The rebellion succeeded, and the country was ruined. If this was life, not death, then Lepis had helped the rebellion. I didn¡¯t understand. Why did he help the rebellion? There were many things I wanted to say as jumbled words floated around in my head. Didn¡¯t you hate me? Twisting your love, shifting the blame for my mistakes. I was venting my anger. Why did you help me? Why did you stay with me? Why wouldn¡¯t you leave me? Did you still love me? ¡°Why¡­ are you here?¡± ¡°There is still work to be done. When it¡¯s over, I¡¯ll leave on my own. Until then, I will act as inconspicuously as possible¡­ but I did not know that you would wake up so early.¡± I didn¡¯t mean it that way, what was he thinking? He seemed very flustered as he threw words at me. He acted like a sinner. Tears welled up when I saw his attitude. Despite my harshness, Lepis still felt sorry for me. I grabbed his collar. ¡°It¡¯s, it¡¯s not like that.¡± ¡°Arne, don¡¯t cry. It¡¯s my fault.¡± Lepis carefully wiped away the flowing tears. I was relieved by his gentle and affectionate comfort. I confessed my sins. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I misunderstood you¡­so I resented you, blamed you, and didn¡¯t accept you.¡± ¡°Arne, don¡¯t apologize to me. I don¡¯t deserve an apology from you.¡± It didn¡¯t matter what Lepis said or not. This was to confess my sins regardless of what he felt, no matter how he saw me. It was only about confessing my sins. I spat out the words and emotions that had been clogged up. ¡°Thank you¡­ for loving¡­me. I was happy and grateful for that love.¡± ¡°Arne.¡± ¡°But, I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t accept it.¡± It was a confession of the feelings that had been hidden. Confessing my sins, confessing my heart. Admitting the life I¡¯ve lived wrong¡­ admitting my mistake. I wanted to stand by Rewan with a little bit of pride like that. ¡°The introduction is late, Arne. I am Roswell Khan Derhan, the next Emperor of the Empire.¡± It was the man from that time. I greeted the man whom I had mistaken for Rewan. Still, I wasn¡¯t curious about this man. I just asked about Rewan¡¯s safety. Please let me meet him. It was frustrating. I wanted to scream. ¡°What about Rewan?¡± ¡°I heard you became an idiot who can¡¯t speak and just laughed. Did you come to your senses after meeting Rewan, seeing that you keep looking for him?¡± Derhan laughed and knocked on the desk as Lepis was standing next to him. He did not hide his discomfort, as if he did not like this position. As Derhan grabbed my chin, he moved my head at will as if he was checking on me. Not bothering to hide my displeasure, I clenched my hand. ¡°If I kill Rewan, will you become an idiot again? I can take you after that. Your face is smooth, and you¡¯ll do well at night¡­¡± ¡°Your Majesty.¡± When Lepis cut him off, he raised both hands and shook his head. Then, he turned his head to look at Lepis and smiled. ¡°Of course, it¡¯s a joke. I don¡¯t want to turn an honest ally into an enemy.¡± Lepis tried to say something, but he bit his lips. It was uncomfortable being here, so I fiddled with my fingers. Because of that, my skinned fingertips were stinging and the white cloth was dyed red again. ¡°Rewan, whom you¡¯re worrying about, is fine now. It¡¯s just that you can¡¯t see him right now.¡± ¡°¡­Why?¡± ¡°It¡¯s difficult to say¡­ rather than seeing him, I¡¯ll give you a good tour.¡± Suddenly, Derhan stood up from his seat. He grabbed my arm and pulled me. ¡°Your Majesty!¡± Lepis shook off Derhan¡¯s hand that was holding me before hiding me behind his back. The sudden collision froze the air. Why were they being like this? Why were they fighting all of a sudden? ¡°Ah¡­! I¡¯m sorry. Was I too rough? I¡¯ve never made friends, so I¡¯m less social. I apologize for any inconvenience.¡± ¡°Haa¡­ Your Majesty, you don¡¯t even have to say that. And pay attention to the way you speak¡­ how many times do I have to tell you?¡± ¡­What were they doing? At first, the creepy and little crazy appearances were put together like puzzle pieces. I didn¡¯t think he was less social¡­ rather, he was crazy in a different way. ¡°Hey, she¡¯s laughing.¡± Nothing was resolved. I feel like my uncomfortable and heavy heart was relieved even a little bit. Laughter burst out unknowingly. What happened, what did you do? As I asked Lepis, he slowly explained the situation so far to me. The rebellion was a success, and he said it was easier than expected. The previous Emperor killed the Empire¡¯s founding contributor, slaughtered nobles at will, and destroyed the temple¡­ in particular, making me the empress. The marriage process also helped to pull the start of the rebellion, where the nobles¡¯ opposition had reached its extreme. We talked like that. However, there was no mention of Rewan in the conversation with Lepis. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for leaving without a word. At that time¡­ I regret not being able to hold you.¡± It was late at night that Acacia came. I wonder if it was okay for me to be happy after all my sins had been relieved like this, that I was somehow happy to have met him, and I couldn¡¯t control myself. My heart sank. I thought it was an opportunity to right all my wrongs. ¡°At that time, I regretted not killing him.¡± The moonlight shone in the dark night sky. Acacia knelt down and sat beneath me before he put his lips on the top of my feet and lifted himself to look at me. The next moment, he took out a dagger from his chest and gave it to me¡­ the plain, patternless dagger that he once gave me. As soon as I saw the dagger, tears poured out. ¡°Ah¡­ Why is it¡­¡± Why was it so late when I gave up halfway? I had no shame in pouring out resentment for waiting for you, expecting you to pick me up. Acacia spat out the words calmly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry for taking so long.¡± I blankly fiddled with the dagger he gave me. I couldn¡¯t figure out what to say to him. Which words should I start with? From using his worries and using his compassion? Or not¡­¡­. ¡°Arne. Now, I¡­¡± ¡­Did I say anything to him carelessly? Acacia grabbed my hand that was holding the dagger. ¡°Will you kill me?¡± When I¡¯m useless, stab me with that knife. He uttered lowly. My heart dropped at his words. The words he said that time came to mind, and I asked him even though I knew why he was asking me to kill him. My voice trembled. ¡°Why¡­? Why are you asking me to kill you?¡± ¡°Because you don¡¯t need me. Because you wanted to kill me. Because I have to die for you¡­ so I came.¡± ¡°Stop! Say no more.¡± I yelled at him. The words I had casually uttered, the words that had hurt him, came back. I was hurt by him shamelessly whispering to me to kill him, and I shook his hand that was holding mine. In case he was really about to die, I grabbed the blade with both hands. ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± ¡°I am the one who ruined your country.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°I am the one who dropped you into the abyss.¡± ¡°No¡­!¡± ¡°Are you saying no out of sympathy for me, out of affection for me?¡± ¡°¡­No.¡± Acacia held my hand. Suddenly, blood was pouring out. I didn¡¯t know how or where to confess. I had nothing to say other than ¡®no.¡¯ Saying harsh words to him, taking advantage of his sympathy¡­ that was not what was wrong with me. It was because it was all because I was not Arne. ¡­I couldn¡¯t bear to say it. I hoped he wouldn¡¯t die. ¡°Don¡¯t you resent me?¡± ¡°I do not resent you.¡± ¡°Arne.¡± Acacia looked at my hand, holding the sword. He gently raised my hand and held it. I didn¡¯t even know I was hurt. Blood dripped from my hand. ¡°I am sorry.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t die.¡± ¡°Yes. I will not die if you wish.¡± ¡°Live.¡± There was nothing else I could say¡­ no apologies, no remorse, no words. Soon, I realized one thing. Read latest Chapters at WuxiaWorld.Site Only I couldn¡¯t tell anyone everything. Now, I knew that I had to live my life deceiving others. ¡­It was the price of my sin of deceiving others. __ Chapter 77 Chapter 77 ¨C What Ending (3) I opened my eyes to the sunlight shining through the room and blinked my eyes at the brilliant sunlight that completely illuminated the room. The sunlight disturbed my sleep, but it wasn¡¯t too bad. Soft emotions rose up. Tired of crying, I fell asleep and gently pressed my swollen eyes with my hand before wiping my face roughly with the wet towel lying next to me. Enjoying the coolness of the wet towel, I put it on my eyes and opened my mouth when there was a knock on the door. When I got up and sat down right away, the wet towel fell from my eyes. ¡°Come in.¡± Acacia opened the door and came in. He greeted me in a friendly voice. ¡°Are you awake?¡± I gave no answer and just responded with a smile. I woke up when Acacia said that breakfast was ready while chatting with him and moved to the dining area. There, I greeted Lepis and had breakfast together while chatting with Derhan. Unbelievably, it was the beginning of a terribly peaceful day that made me wonder if it was a dream. If only Rewan were here, it would be perfect. After eating, they busily moved again. They were busy enough to frantically run around the mansion with papers. As I stared blankly at them and moved into the room, I opened the window and felt the cool breeze blowing. Even though he was busy, I ate the cookies that Lepis brought for me. Drinking hot tea, I glanced out the window. It was peaceful. It was the mildest day I¡¯ve ever had. If I felt a little lacking, it was probably because I didn¡¯t have Rewan by my side right now. I tapped the desk with my finger and hummed. I was looking forward to the day I would meet Rewan. Acacia came in with a knock. He was looking a little tired. He opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it again. I stared blankly at the open window. He slowly approached the window and put his hand on the window. Acacia¡¯s low sighs came. He turned around to look me in the eyes and said. ¡°I¡¯m not forcing you, but I think you¡¯d better keep the windows closed today.¡± It was a small sigh mixed with words. ¡°Why?¡± Acacia smiled bitterly. ¡°It¡¯s going to be, a bit, noisy.¡± Some time passed after that, and the sun was setting. The mansion without people was quiet and desolate. He and I are left in the spacious mansion. There were only two of us left. It was quiet. And as if the peacefulness I had felt until now was all a dream, fire soared in front of my eyes with a thunderous roar. It was going to be noisy¡­ The imperial castle, visible through the closed window, was burning with fierce flames. The fire devours everything greedily, leaving no trace. I watched the Imperial Palace and watched it disappear into a handful of ash, enveloped in acrid smoke. The Imperial Castle, which seemed to have eternal glory, collapsed. It was disappearing without a trace. Unknowingly, I got close to the window and spread my palms over the window. There was no way the flames could touch me, but the touch of the glass in my palm felt hot. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you go?¡± I asked him. ¡°¡­It has nothing to do with me.¡± ¡°Why? You helped the rebellion, too.¡± Acacia¡¯s lips parted. His words could not be heard properly among the explosions or the loud noise coming from outside the window. ¡°Bu¡­t, I¡­ now,¡­ beca¡­ this.¡± I approached Acacia and narrowed my distance from him. As I approached, his breath touched my ear. His voice sounded like a low whisper, drowned out by the sound of the explosion. ¡°¡­I am no longer a member of the Empire.¡± ¡°That¡­ why?¡± Startled, I gazed up at him. Acacia smiled bitterly as he held my hand gently. He placed his lips on the back of his hand. ¡°I want to be your own knight.¡± The two deeply locked eyes turned to me as they contained loyalty. ¡°Will you take responsibility for the life you didn¡¯t take?¡± Why did his expression look distressed when he said this to me? Did he really mean it? I didn¡¯t know. After finishing the festival late at night, Derhan came to visit. He had a very serious expression, different from before. I was briefly nervous about his unexpected visit since I still couldn¡¯t trust him completely. He walked slowly and stood in front of me with the moonlight at his back. Derhan¡¯s expression showed nothing, and his voice came to my ears. ¡°Tomorrow, Distria dies.¡± ¡­A vivid murderous energy and there was some joy in it. He walked out of the dark. ¡°However, you cannot directly see him die.¡± Derhan suddenly closed the distance and grabbed my chin with one hand. As he made eye contact with me, unknown black eyes stared at me, but I removed my hand and averted his gaze. The glaring glances made me feel bad. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°They were against it. They said they didn¡¯t want to show you bad scenes, but I think a little differently.¡± Derhan widened the distance. He disappeared into the darkness again. ¡°I think you should see it¡­ the end of the one who made your despair.¡± I couldn¡¯t guess what kind of expression he had when he said that. Maybe the feelings I felt at first glance were a mistake. A low pitched voice reached my ears. ¡°Actually, I wanted to give you a chance to kill him. However, there are people whose lives have fallen into hell more than you.¡± ¡°¡­Is that Rewan?¡± He didn¡¯t answer my question. I was sure in his silence that it was Rewan, and I was overcome with unknown emotions. ¡­It was I who created Rewan¡¯s despair. ¡­It was I who created his pain. My heart was beating anxiously. ¡­It was I who threw him into the abyss. Derhan grabbed my hand. My gripped hands were hot. ¡°But anyway, it¡¯s unfair that you can¡¯t see his end. So anyway¡­¡± Swish. As he pulled me, I was drawn to him helplessly and my unbalanced body swayed greatly. ¡°Would you like to go see him now?¡± Derhan held me tight so I wouldn¡¯t fall. The distance between us shortened, and I could see his expression was visible in the deep darkness. He was smiling. Due to his coercive attitude, I followed him down to the basement. I wondered where Distria was hidden in the mansion, so I grabbed his hand and went down to the basement. Every time I went downstairs, there was a shady, damp cellar-specific smell. Where was the water leaking? Drip, drip. The sound of dripping water could be heard in the quiet space. ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± ¡°¡­.¡± ¡°Why, are you disappointed that he looks better than you thought?¡± In an iron cage, he was bound to his knees with a cloth over his eyes and a gag over his mouth. Distria, who was quick to notice that someone had come, lifted his head but he didn¡¯t make any fuss. Perhaps he just noticed that I was here, his head was raised towards where I was. ¡°Ah¡­¡± I¡¯d never imagined this man to look like this. He was like a bitter wind in the middle of winter. Even if the cold wind stopped for a while, I never imagined for a moment that the cold of midwinter would break him. For a moment, he quietly lifted his head. My heart was beating with an uneasy sound. ¡°Arne. It is thanks to you that this person became like this.¡± It wasn¡¯t what I intended. Even if my actions caused his downfall, there was no reason for me to be praised. My heart thumped, and I was filled with uncomfortable feelings. ¡­What was the reason for this uncomfortable feeling? ¡°Urrrr¡­ uh¡­¡± Distria, which had been quiet, made a beastly sound as if something was scratching inside. He, who had been quiet, moved with a limp, and the sound of metal thumped through the basement. I took a step back. Boom. My steps were blocked by the iron cage on the other side that reached my back. I had nowhere else to retreat. Slowly, my legs gave out and I sat down. ¡°Are you scared? Are you still afraid of that person who became like that?¡± Derhan¡¯s voice hummed in my ears. After a while, I shook my head at his words. No, that was not it. My fingertips were cold, and my heart was cold. It felt like my reason was cooling off. With what qualifications would I see Distria¡¯s end? I was not qualified¡­ It was the end of a man who was ruthless, cruel, merciless, and bearing death. There were times when I genuinely hated him, resented him, and feared him. However, I couldn¡¯t enjoy his death. The reason why I couldn¡¯t happily accept his death was because my heart beated uncomfortably and anxiously. It was because I was the same as him. Therefore, I was neither happy nor sad¡­ I couldn¡¯t make any reaction. I also deserved to be imprisoned like that. I was just glad I was not the one sitting there. Even if I correct my mistakes now, the sins I committed do not go away. Even if the traces were erased, the memories did not disappear. There was only one difference between Distria and me. Was it seen or not? The difference between good and evil was as thin as a piece of paper. The reason I was good was because it was not visible¡­ that was it. I felt fear at Distria¡¯s appearance as I felt like my place was over there as well. The sound of metal in my ears was still there, and he was moving in a fit. I wanted to run away from this spot because of my suddenly awakening anxiety. That was not going to happen, though. I led the destruction of Sorano Kingdom in order to feel pleasure¡­ If Rewan knew about these things, or if someone else knew, wouldn¡¯t they hate me and resent me? How did I dare to think of standing next to him? I was afraid. As I curled up in fear and trembled, I could feel Derhan¡¯s strange gaze. ¡°You¡¯re really a b*stard, aren¡¯t you?¡± He sighed softly. His eyes, brimming with hatred, were fixed on Distria. ¡°Do you think other people¡¯s lives are easy, so anyone can be easily killed?¡± Derhan pulled a set of keys from his chest. Taking a key from his chest and opening the iron cage door, he kicked Distria¡¯s body, who was still rioting. As his head was bent, a violent sound came. There was a series of loud noises that made it hard to believe that it was the sound of dull and sharp flesh touching each other. ¡°Stop¡­! Stop, don¡¯t.¡± When I hurriedly got up and grabbed Derhan, I met his eyes that glistened with anger and hatred. As he was beaten, the undone eye covering ran down his face. The gagged lips were torn open, and blood gushed out. With his forehead torn and his eyes red with blood, his lips parted as the gag¡¯s seams loosened. Distria¡¯s gaze reached me. He took a deep breath, exhaling through his blood-stained mouth. Read latest Chapters at WuxiaWorld.Site Only ¡°I miss you, Arne.¡± He laughed. __ Chapter 78 Chapter 78 ¨C What Ending (4) Once again, Derhan kicked Distria in the head. It was the beginning of the constant beating. The sound of metal disturbed my ears. During the time Derhan was beating him, Distria didn¡¯t scream once. Even while his body was bent and his vision was shaking, his persistent gaze followed me. My body trembled at the gaze. ¡°Arne.¡± As he spat the pooled blood in his mouth, Distria took a deep breath and spoke to me. ¡°I miss you, Arne.¡± Derhan stopped moving. He looked at Distria with cold eyes while brushing off the blood on his hands. ¡°I¡¯m disgusted to death by this emotionless b*stard.¡± Distria came closer, dragging his knees and hands on the floor. At that sight, I grabbed Derhan¡¯s clothes tightly and unknowingly took a step back. Distria stopped moving when his clothes were pulled so tight that they could no longer be stretched. I could see a chain pulled all the way as he looked up at me. ¡°You said you were mine, Arne.¡± Even in this situation, the eyes glistening with possessiveness, the gaze relentlessly pursuing me. I was afraid for some reason. It felt like some shackles. Dirty, ugly, and similar to me¡­ The place next to you was me. It seemed as if the eyes that were burning tenaciously said so. ¡°Really, I can¡¯t listen to you.¡± ¡°I love you. Arne, I love you.¡± His head, which had been beaten by Derhan, turned before Distria was kicked in the stomach. Bang. Distria was pushed back with great force and crashed into the wall, and his head hung down. I let go of the hand holding Derhan¡¯s clothes. I was gripped by some kind of fear, and tears flowed down my face. I didn¡¯t know my fears. They didn¡¯t know what I thought, and they didn¡¯t even know who I was. Why was I so afraid? I didn¡¯t understand this feeling. I didn¡¯t know. ¡°Why are you crying? Arne, are you still afraid of him? He can¡¯t do anything to you.¡± Worried that he might hit Distria again, I grabbed Derhan¡¯s bloody hand and gazed with anxious eyes. I wasn¡¯t happy to see him beating Distria. It felt the same as the violence inflicted upon me. Even though I wasn¡¯t the one in the right position, I could feel a psychological pain. My heart ached. ¡°No¡­ no. That¡¯s not it.¡± Derhan¡¯s gaze touched my trembling hand and he sighed softly before covering my face with his other hand. As he let out a sigh mixed with words, between his fingers, I could see the hatred in his eyes. ¡°I thought you would like to see Distria like that. But crying like this makes me feel like I¡¯m committing a sin against you.¡± When he slowly lowered his hand to wipe away the tears running down my cheeks, a sharp smell of blood emanated from his hands. The blood on Derhan¡¯s hand was not his. He then tightened the grip on the other hand that was holding mine. ¡°This is an action for you though you don¡¯t respond so well, so I¡¯m feeling a little worse.¡± My gaze met him, and only cold silence filled the space. While I was being grabbed by Derhan¡¯s hand and dragged out, I heard a certain hallucination. Don¡¯t go. Don¡¯t go, Arne. Don¡¯t go. Distria¡¯s voice. And that was my sin¡­ shackles that bind me. When I came up from the basement, the night was gone and it was morning before I knew it. The sun was slowly rising over the horizon. It was just the two of us, me and him, walking around the mansion a little earlier. Derhan took me to the front door. I didn¡¯t even have the energy to say any greetings, so I left him behind and put my hand on the doorknob. The moment I opened the door, Derhan put his hand on my hand and closed the door I had opened with force. Thud There was the sound of a door closing. ¡°Hey. Do you happen to be¡­ Ha, I don¡¯t know what kind of madness or rudeness it is, but.¡± As I raised my head and looked up at him. his hand on top of mine was hot. ¡°¡­You don¡¯t like him, do you?¡± I shook my head, still unable to speak properly from the falling tears. I bit my lip for fear of sobbing. What kind of feeling was this? My ugliness, my bitterness after confirming the bottom? ¡°No? But why are you crying so much?¡± Derhan stared at my tear-drenched eyes. When I couldn¡¯t answer his question and just stayed silent, he gazed at me with unknown eyes before he opened his mouth slowly. ¡°Arne, you know¡­ when Distria turned out like that, I was so happy.¡± Sighing softly and opening the door with his hand, he removed his overlapping hands and looked at me. The dusky sun gradually rose, and the light illuminated the empty hallway. ¡°So, thank you.¡± I wanted to shake my head and deny what he said. I wanted to scream. ¡­No, no. Don¡¯t thank me. ¡°For allowing me to kill him¡­ to give me a chance to bring him down.¡± As the sun suddenly came up, the rays were so bright that they hurt my eyes. ¡°Thank you. I hope his death makes you as happy as I am. I want you to be as happy as I am.¡± I closed my eyes at Derhan¡¯s smile as bright as the rising sun. I didn¡¯t deserve any thanks from him. The empire was ruined and Carwen de Distria died today. Roswell Khan Derhan founded a new empire. Devila, the name of the new empire meant Eternal glory. The Capital would also start anew not in the Carwen estate but in Roswell estate. They would change the method of selecting the Crown Prince, which was brutal and barbaric, and would also change all kinds of laws, such as the method of selecting talent. He proudly said that he would fix all the wrong parts and start anew. Derhan laughed. It was the laugh of a victor. I hid my feelings, emptied my mind, and acted calmly as if nothing had happened. The night I was immersed in serious and deep anger was a night I had never had. I stayed up all night, I couldn¡¯t sleep because I was disturbed. Even at the last moment, I remembered the gaze that had been tightly entangling me, and I closed my eyes. It was the shackles that held me captive¡­ it was a signal flare to bring out my guilt. I couldn¡¯t rejoice, grieve or sincerely mourn his death¡­ and I couldn¡¯t even think of my happiness. I felt like I was under some kind of magic. I couldn¡¯t understand Distria whispering love until the very last moment. It was love that he spat out at the end of his life because I, too, had a passionate feeling of wanting to confess my love to Rewan, even at the risk of death. I understood, yet not. It felt like everything was burnt now and nothing remained. The love I felt was such a self-destructive feeling. Even so, I did not give up on myself because I was my first priority, as self-preservation took precedence over love. I couldn¡¯t understand his love that destroyed everything and even abandoned himself. Even now, I was afraid to stand next to Rewan because I was lacking. As I looked around the imperial capital where crowds of people were gathering, shouts and some booing could be heard constantly, so I closed the window and drew the curtains. I let out a sigh. At first, I wanted to capture his last moment. He was a man who was synonymous with death, so I did not know that he would die. Even though I wanted to confirm his death, I realized that I was not qualified and closed my eyes. When I originally thought of the end of the story, I shook my head. A story that had already ended and a world that had already changed¡­ what was there to think more about? However, like some love and some feeling, I didn¡¯t know what I was feeling for the first time so I was confused. Why am I afraid of his death? Was I afraid of the new world that would begin with his death? I lingered near the window for a while. I didn¡¯t know, I didn¡¯t understand. Staring blankly at the window, I lifted the curtains and let out a low sigh. The next moment, I hurriedly got out of the room and went to Acacia¡¯s room before knocking on the door and calling his name. I needed to check something. ¡°Acacia.¡± He opened the door and greeted me. I met him with a door between us. ¡°What brings you here?¡± ¡°That¡­ you see.¡± Could you confirm his death and let me know? I was about to say those words, but for a moment, I was startled and shut my mouth. It was something I shouldn¡¯t have said to Acacia. ¡°¡­Nothing.¡± When I closed the door slowly, Acacia pulled the doorknob. My body lost its balance because of the sharp pull, and I put my hand on Acacia¡¯s shoulder and straightened myself up after getting startled. He asked me. ¡°Would you like to come with me?¡± Quickly realizing the reason I had come, he reached out his hand to me. I gazed at the outstretched hand. Acacia handed his hand¡­ however, I couldn¡¯t hold on to it and hurriedly removed my hand. ¡°No¡­ No, I don¡¯t think so.¡± I turned around and ran away. My heart was beating hard. I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t want to see. I don¡¯t want to know. It has nothing to do with me¡­ I thought so. I had never thought of his death, nor had I ever thought of an ending like this. I just swayed in accordance with the flow, like a raging wind, like a rippling wave. I didn¡¯t do anything. I was afraid of the new beginning that his death would bring. I was afraid of a new beginning. That was it. That day, Distria died. I did not confirm his death. Whether good or bad, the sudden death of someone brought disappointment to my heart. I thought that was all. Read latest Chapters at WuxiaWorld.Site Only That was all. That was all.. The place next to you was not mine. __