Translator: InkyDragon
Google Doc
Yu Xiao had a simple new nightly ritual. She would scroll through her old Nokia phone, making a mental note of the aliases of potential newsworthy figures for the next day.
As she drifted off to sleep, a dream unfolded before her. In this dream, a lone kitten with tear-filled eyes gazed at her with unwavering intensity.
“Ding!”
Suddenly, Yu Xiao was jolted awake by the blaring sound of her alarm, which always went off before 8 a.m. The silence was shattered, and she emerged from the depths of her dreams. Still cocooned in her sheets, her mind was a blank slate. Slowly, as a gentle melody filled the air, she rubbed her temples in confusion. The image of that sad-eyed cat had haunted her throughout the night.
Wasn’t that cat supposed to be confined back at the office? Yet here it was, roaming freely through her dreams, as bold as a ghost in broad daylight.
With her eyes wide open, a plan began to form in Yu Xiao’s mind. That mischievous furball was in for a stern talking-to.
“Smiley! Smiley, come and savor the morning brew!” Zhou Xiao Zhen’s cheerful voice shattered the morning calm as Yu Xiao, still half-asleep, found herself cradling a cup of rich, aromatic tea.
Leaning against the headboard, Yu Xiao raised an eyebrow in mock suspicion and quipped, “So, what trouble have you been up to now with this unexpected pampering?”
Echoing her sentiment, Zhao Lan sat at the edge of the bed. “She made one for me too. But I wonder when she finds time for mischief when she’s always by our side?” Sёar?h the N?vel(F)ire.ηet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.
With her lips curving around the edge of her cup, Yu Xiao mused aloud, “Or perhaps today is the day you’ve finally realised your boundless affection for us?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen pouted playfully. “Pfft, as if I need reminding.” With a dismissive wave, she gestured for silence. “Shh, it’s time for the news.”
“… Rise and shine, folks—morning news coming at ya~…”
“… A recent scandal at the hospital involved Doctor Qiao, Gu, Lolita, Qing, and the ghost known as Wang. They were all embroiled in a web of deceit, falsely accusing the patient ‘Deaf Descendant’ in a report filled with lies. This reprehensible behaviour not only sets a negative example for medical professionals but also undermines the trust between doctors and patients. In an effort to restore order, the hospital’s leadership has decided to penalise the five ghost employees by withholding their wages and bonuses for six months. The non-staff ghost has been sentenced to six months of compulsory labor.…”
“Wow,” Zhou Xiao Zhen clapped, her laughter filling the room. “Haha… I almost feel sorry for them, that cracked me up…”
Zhao Lan couldn’t contain her mirth either, her shoulders shaking with each chuckle. “They must be regretting crossing you now. But I bet they’ll think twice before doing it again after this, don’t you think?”
“Who knows,” Yu Xiao sighed, a hint of nostalgia in her thoughts. She bore no ill will toward the doctors; her heart yearned for peace in a world often demanding war. “One can only hope they’ve gained some wisdom from this ordeal.”
“… Yesterday, a patient known as ‘Wide Sea and Sky’ caused chaos in the instance environment, leaving many patients stranded. After deliberation, the Medical Disputes Office has banned the patient from entering the game for one month…”
“Wide Sea and Sky!” Zhou Xiao Zhen gasped. “The same one?”
“Maliciously damaging the instance environment…” Zhao Lan pondered, her brow furrowed in confusion. “When Smiley nearly wreaked havoc on all the attractions in Lolita Park, the hospital didn’t accuse Smile of malice. What on earth did Wide Sea and Sky do to deserve this?”
Yu Xiao couldn’t shake the feeling that something was amiss with Wide Sea and Sky, like a jigsaw piece that just wouldn’t fit.
“… Under the watchful eye of the head of security, Three-Headed Dog, the patient uprising at Second Hospital is coming to an end. The ringleaders are now in handcuffs, but the root cause remains a mystery. We are calling for everyone’s cooperation in maintaining peace…”
“… In need of some sprucing up, Sage Hospital is looking for a cleaner. No need to worry about your background or past experiences…”
Qing Shi still searching for a cleaner, huh? With the heavy workload and low pay, it’s no wonder no one’s jumping at the opportunity.
“… Let’s give a round of applause to ‘Sky City’ from Third Hospital, who has just won the titles of ‘Great Mother’ and ‘Gender-Bending Drama Queen’ for an outstanding performance..!”
“Pfft… cough cough…” Zhao Lan’s laughter turned into a fit of coughing, her cheeks reddening.
“Pfft… Thank goodness for anonymity,” Zhou Xiao Zhen added, wiping away tears. “If Xie Ping’s gender were revealed, the online forums would have a field day.”
**
Meanwhile, Xie Ping sat in the ward of Third Hospital, his face expressionless as the broadcast played on. Suddenly, a storm brewed within him, and in a silent rage, he threw the pillow across the room.
**
A buzz swept through the hospital forum like a quick hiccup.
【Hey, isn’t this Sky City a guy?】 The inquiry ignited a flurry of responses.
【A dad mum? That’s new.】
【Could you repeat that, buddy?】
【Can’t a guy be a great dad?】
【Isn’t the real issue about having a child? How can a man give birth to be a mom?】
【Still, he’s a chap.】
【They didn’t say he had the baby; it might’ve been his partner.】
【But he’s the ‘Great Mother’.】
“…”
Meanwhile, the radio continued its chatter, sharing the day’s oddities.
“… Yesterday, a patient known as ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’ from the Fourth Hospital once again claimed the top spot. Congratulations to them! They put on an impressive performance during their instance and earned three prestigious titles: ‘Bad Dad Who Cheated During His Wife’s Pregnancy,’ ‘The Man Mr. Wang Cares About the Most,’ and ‘The Man Mr. Wang Hates the Most.’ Let’s give him a round of applause!”
“…”
In the Sixth Hospital, a wave of silence washed over the room, soon to be shattered by explosive laughter and exchanged glances.
Zhou Xiao Zhen couldn’t help but snort, triggering a chain reaction of giggles.
Tears streamed down Zhao Lan’s face as she pounded the bed in hysterics.
“I can’t… breathe…” Zhou Xiao Zhen managed to utter between fits of laughter, her face flushed red.
Equally overwhelmed, Yu Xiao struggled to catch her breath, slapping her thighs in amusement. But the laughter persisted.
“It’s our turn to have some fun,” she declared with a mischievous grin. “As soon as the news ends, I’m going to call Luo Jin and give him a ‘warm’ welcome.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen, still gasping for air, erupted into laughter once more. “I have to check…. check the forum,” she wheezed.
**
Meanwhile, the ward in the Fourth Hospital was as silent as a tomb.
Luo Jin sat motionless, his expression unchanged, as if wearing a mask that repelled any conversation. His vacant gaze conveyed a chilling warning, each blood vessel pulsing with a silent threat.
Lu Xu perched on the edge of his seat, barely a table’s breadth from his companion. He reclined lazily, his eyelids fluttering like trapped butterflies.
(′ ??? ?? ??? `)
With a teacup in hand, the other hand veiled his grin, concealing a silent but bubbling mirth within him. Though his body was still, his spirit danced with excitement. The resolve he summoned now surpassed any he had mustered for his college exams, all in an effort to maintain a facade of calm.
It wasn’t a conscious decision to stifle his laughter; he simply understood the stakes – allowing his mirth to escape might jeopardise his life.
**
“… Yesterday,” the announcement continued, “the patient known as the ‘Eternal God of Hemp’ in Fourth Hospital impressed us with their remarkable progress, earning the esteemed title of ‘The Child Without Parents.’ Let’s give them a round of applause for this achievement.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter; she slumped in her chair, defeated by her own amusement. “I can’t… I can’t contain it any longer. The laughter… it’s overwhelming.”
“… Additionally, in the Sixth Hospital,” the voice continued, “the patient referred to as the ‘Deaf Descendant’ once again claimed the top spot. Congratulations to them. Throughout their treatment journey, they accumulated an impressive array of titles, including ‘Gender-Bending Drama Queen,’ ‘Glutton’s Best Buddy,’ and ‘Torturous Interrogator.’ Please applaud their outstanding performance!”
“Bravo!” Zhou Xiao Zhen’s smile illuminated the room as she glanced at Yu Xiao. “You’ve truly outdone yourself, earning such prestigious titles. They suit you perfectly.”
Yu Xiao responded with a modest tilt of her head. “Titles are merely temporary labels. It’s the points that hold significance, nothing more. That’s a truth I embraced long ago.”
“… In the Sixth Hospital, a patient known as ‘Talisman Shop — Only three points each!’ has made remarkable strides in their recovery, earning the nickname ‘Deadly Scriptwriter.’ Let’s give them a round of applause…”
“Wait,” Yu Xiao interjected, raising her hand for attention. “Who was that? That title sounds like it could fit Precious too.”
Zhao Lan agreed with a solemn nod. “Not just the title, the nickname might as well have been made for our ward.”
“Unbelievable!” Yu Xiao burst out. “Is someone stepping on our territory? Another talisman prodigy like me, selling for three points each?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen giggled, divulging her secret. “Guilty as charged~”
Yu Xiao was taken aback. “What?”
“You mean to say ‘Talisman Shop — Only three points each!’ refers to you?” Zhao Lan inquired.
“Yes!” Zhou Xiao Zhen replied proudly yet humbly. “I obtained a name change card from Lu Xu. Remember Smiley’s plan to expand the talisman business into a large wholesale operation across all six hospitals? I thought getting featured on the morning news would enhance our shop’s reputation, so I altered the nickname.”
A surge of emotion overcame Yu Xiao, prompting her to leap from the bed into Zhou Xiao Zhen’s waiting arms. “Oh, Precious… you are truly exceptional.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen responded with a soft scoff, her gaze distant. “I’m merely hastening our exit from this chaos.”
“I should use that name change card as well,” Zhao Lan contemplated aloud. “I’ve never really chosen a nickname, and now I’ve had an epiphany.”
Yu Xiao and Zhou Xiao Zhen, still embracing, turned to her. “What?”
Zhao Lan’s hands danced in the air, a silent symphony of scepticism. “Consider this, even if word of our craft spreads to every patient in the six hospitals, how will they know our phone to call us?”
The room fell into a contemplative silence, Yu Xiao and Zhou Xiao Zhen lost in their thoughts.
Their musings were interrupted by the crackle of the radio, which spat out the latest peculiar announcement. “… Attention, listeners, here is a bulletin of the bizarre. Mr. Gluttony, that denizen of the depths below, yearns for his elusive companion. ‘Oh, beloved confidant,’ he laments, ‘do you realize that in my solitude, I am tormented by your absence? Extend your hand, touch this void of solitude, and spare your Gluttony the torment of waiting.’ And now, back to our regular programming…”
All eyes turned towards Yu Xiao, heavy with unspoken thoughts. Zhao Lan broke the silence, her voice slicing through the tension, “Trouble appears to be at your doorstep.”
Leaning in, Zhou Xiao Zhen spoke with intention, “Gluttony is calling, anticipating your response. Will you call him?”
“No.” Yu Xiao stood firm, her resolve resonating in the air thick with talismans. “Ghosts and monsters harbor only malice. I refuse to entertain him.”
“Let’s hope he doesn’t pull a surprise like Nightmare did,” Zhou Xiao Zhen remarked, her fingers tapping rhythmically on the table. “And if he does? Shall we confine him to the office as well?”
Yu Xiao emitted a soft scoff in reply, “That’s preposterous. He’s not akin to Nightmare. He can’t just show up out of the blue, can he?”
The reality was, Yu Xiao was evading Gluttony for a reason. Gluttony had his own agenda. Unlike Nightmare, who was just trying to ditch the script of death and find someone to hang with, Gluttony was playing his own game. He wasn’t tied down by the rules, and Yu Xiao wasn’t about to get too chummy with him.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff,” Yu Xiao quipped. “I’m about to call Luo Jin. Anyone care to join?”
**
In the hushed atmosphere, Lu Xun couldn’t resist causing a stir. “It seems Gluttony has taken an interest in Yu Xiao,” he remarked, a touch of amusement coloring his words. “That girl seems to attract chaos like a magnet, doesn’t she?”
“And what’s with that smile?” Luo Jin questioned, catching Lu Xun off guard.
Lu Xun’s grin faltered for a moment. “Me? Smiling?” he countered, trying to regain his composure.
“Indeed,” Luo Jin affirmed, his voice laced with seriousness. “Would you care to explain?”
“Well, I couldn’t help but notice how Yu Xiao seems to always draw more attention from the ghosts,” Lu Xun confessed, his tone now genuine. “There’s a certain irony to it, wouldn’t you agree?”
Just then, a playful tune sliced through the tension. “Ghost gourds, ghost gourds, seven flowers on a vine~…!”
Grateful for the interruption, Lu Xun nudged Luo Jin. “That’s your cue, buddy. Someone is beckoning, and we shouldn’t keep them waiting.”
With a resigned sigh, Luo Jin answered the call, only to be greeted by Yu Xiao’s unmistakable voice. The sound of her voice prompted an involuntary snicker from Lu Xun.
Luo Jin’s expression soured, but Yu Xiao, always one to tease, couldn’t resist poking fun. “You should be grateful, Luo Jin. Without my antics, you’d be without a title. Consider them badges of honour. Not everyone can earn titles so effortlessly… Beep beep…”
**
Confusion clouded Yu Xiao’s features as she stared at her phone. “He hung up. What a narrow-minded man!”
**
The expression on Luo Jin’s face was unfamiliar to Lu Xun. He pondered the irony; they once relished in laughing at Yu Xiao. But today, banter was out of place. Seeking a distraction, he turned to the forums, unaware that his next click would reveal…
【Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave overshadowing Deaf Descendant.】
Lu Xun’s brow furrowed in confusion. Yu Xiao, the longstanding favourite, had been unseated without contest.
With a click, the main post filled the screen, teeming with mischief:
【Ha! Thought Sister Dragon’s nicknames were bold? Zhuge has taken it up a notch—titles so spicy, they sizzle!】
A smirk played on Lu Xun’s lips, and a chuckle threatened to disrupt the silence he had maintained.
“Snort—!”
A burst of laughter escaped him, impossible to contain. But as swiftly as it came, he silenced himself, sensing an ominous presence looming over him. Luo Jin stood there, fists clenched in silent fury.
The forum buzzed with relentless chatter:
【Rumor has it Zhuge and Sister Dragon have forged an alliance in the fire. Anyone who joins her walks away with a new badge of honour. Zhuge scored three this time!】
【Titles? Meh. What about Mr. Wang? Man? Woman? Mystery?】
【There’s only one Mr. Wang, the one from the morgue.】
【Mr. Wang, risen from the dead?】
【What horrors did Zhuge endure? ∑(ΦдΦlll 】
【Curious about Mr. Wang’s involvement?】
【Spreading rumours now? Bring on the gossip. Zhuge’s first scandal—’Bad Dad Who Cheated During His Wife’s Pregnancy.’ Dish it. Who’s involved in this scandal?】
【Wait, Mr. Wang pregnant? (O?O)】
【Enough with the horror tales. As a morgue survivor, I don’t need sleepless nights.】
【Not for me, but these wild speculations? Keep ’em coming!】
【And what about the ‘Great Mother’ at the Third Hospital…】
“Hahahaha…” Yu Xiao’s laughter resonated through the Fourth Hospital, seeming to echo through the corridors.
“This is torture!” Zhou Xiao Zhen lamented, her frustration evident as she hit the bed. “I want to post on the Fourth Hospital forum!”
“Darling, even if you had access you couldn’t divulge willy-nilly.” Zhao Lan wagged a finger, “Remember, Smiley swore not to divulge our escapade.”
“Who said?” Yu Xiao corrected, “I vowed silence about Xie Ping and Liu Si Si, not Luo Jin. That’s fair game.”
“Hehehe… Go on.” Zhou Xiao Zhen’s glee was palpable. “I still want to read other posts.”
【Today, let’s learn from Zhuge!】
【I once learned from Sister Long, but today, it’s Zhuge’s turn. Let’s analyse Zhuge’s three titles: ‘Bad Dad Who Cheated During His Wife’s Pregnancy,’ ‘The Man Mr. Wang Cares About the Most,’ and ‘The Man Mr. Wang Hates the Most.’】
【Squat!】
【Settling my delicate buttocks on this post gently.】
【Squat squat squat!】
【First, let’s analyse ‘Bad Dad Who Cheated During His Wife’s Pregnancy.’ Zhuge definitely cheated, and either got someone pregnant or impregnated someone, maybe even Mr. Wang. If Mr. Wang’s pregnant, how did it happen? In short, these are all logical guesses. Zhuge can refute if wrong. But the key takeaway: someone needs to get pregnant for this title, be it human, ghost, or beyond. Not recommended to emulate.】
【Zhuge, come out! Someone’s tarnishing your name!】
【You want a spectacle? We’re not just Zhuge this time; there’s also ‘Whispering Monk’ and two others.】
【Remember the talismans for five points each? The shop opened yesterday.】
【Respond to that post!】
【…】
Wang Chun’s post stirred the forum again.
【What’s the real story? What’s with Zhuge’s titles?】
【Come out! Show yourself, talisman seller!】
【Talk, and I’ll buy ten talismans!】
【Stay silent, and we’ll boycott your shop!】
【Sob sob sob… Please, I’m begging… just a peep, OP? My curiosity is killing me…】
Despite the uproar, Wang Chun and Liu Si Si remained absent.
“Why not dive into another thread? I’ve got a feeling you’re the star.”
With a flick and a click, they entered a new thread where Yu Xiao took centre stage.
【“Bet Gluttony’s gonna be hot on Dragon Sis’s heels this round!”】
【The stakes are high, betting one point that Gluttony will come out. Dragon Sis, the ghost whisperer, has charmed yet another ethereal suitor. She’s the queen of the ghost scene!】
【It’s just a ghostly friendship. Dragon Sis hasn’t won Gluttony’s heart.】
【Love or no love, I envy Dragon Sis’s supernatural fan club… that’s a whole new level of fame.】
【Zhuge’s not bad either…】
【Hurry! The talisman shop owner has something to say!】
“Wang Chun’s spilling the tea?” Zhou Xiao Zhen’s excitement was palpable, her fingers a blur as she scrolled, “Move it, move it, move it, let’s see what’s brewing!”
Yu Xiao didn’t need the nudge; her curiosity was already piqued. A single tap revealed a headline that screamed for attention.
【‘My Husband is Di Jia’, that’s me, Wang Chun, the talisman shop boss.】
【I’ve heard about the wild speculations on this forum. Here’s my input: threaten me, boycott my talismans, but there are secrets I must keep. I’ll share what little I can. So, keep your end of the deal and shop at my store.】
【Whoa, hold your horses!】
【Step on it, for crying out loud!】
【First off, yes, that Mr. Wang from the morgue? He’s our guy. Swapped instances and still playing doctor (and I don’t mean just medically). And yes, there’s a bun in the oven, but Mr. Wang’s not the daddy. The affair, though? Guilty as charged. It was Mr. Wang, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, and Zhuge’s no exception.】
【So, who’s got the baby bump? Zhuge’s lady love?】
【Did Zhuge trade his good looks for a fling with Mr. Wang?】
【No way, Mr. Wang swings that way?】
【My heart’s breaking for Zhuge, wuwuwu…】
【Zhuge’s sacrifice is monumental, racking up those points is no joke.】
【Care to spill more beans?】
【You guys, Zhuge’s dropping a post!】
【After all these years, Zhuge’s finally breaking his silence?】
“Step on it!” Zhao Lan’s grip on Yu Xiao’s arm was urgent, her voice filled with anticipation, “Luo Jin has made a post, and I’m dying to read it!”
“I know! Don’t shake my hand!” Yu Xiao’s brow creased in frustration, her finger a blur with a frantic tap-tap-tapping.
【Righteousness? Promises? That ship has sailed, and don’t you dare point a dirty finger my way!】
【I’m ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’. Ever wonder about the story behind ‘Eternal God of Hemp’ titled ‘Child Without Parents’? Well, She’s the child born to the person I cheated with. In the instances of the dungeon, she has called me ‘daddy’ more than once.
She’s a lucky one, that girl. Dodged a bullet in the dungeon, came out on the other side without a scratch. Despite feasting on a menu of rotten meat and squirming maggots, she’s the picture of health…】
【Good grief!】
【Talk about a wild ride…】
【Seriously? I’m trying to eat here!】
【Poor ‘Eternal God of Hemp’, what a drama…】
【Seems like this dungeon’s really upped its game!】
【Zhuge, you’ve crossed a line! Your ancestors must be spinning in their graves. You swore you’d keep my secrets, but if we’re airing dirty laundry, let’s go all in. Let me tell you, Zhuge actively seduced Mr. Wang, frequently spending a lot of time alone together. It was during this time that someone overheard Mr. Wang saying that Zhuge was his alone, and that if Zhuge dared to run, he’d break his legs…】
( )………( )
(?????) (TN: The bloodbath Mahahahah~! )
─── ? ── ☆ ── ? ───