Chapter 64: Section 65: Wavering and Agony


    A silence fell within the cave.


    Being betrayed by his own son, it was imaginable, what a huge blow this was to Cang Xu as a father.


    However, in the moment when Cang Xu faced death, he still thought of this son of his.


    Cang Xu wished that his scholarly works could be of help to his son. Of course, he also hoped his works would be passed on.


    Here there was hatred, love, and so much helplessness and vicissitudes of life.


    Very complex emotions.


    ...


    Zhenjin and Zi Di finally began to understand the old Scholar before them.


    No wonder he previously clung to life, and no wonder he was now willing to sacrifice himself.


    “If I escape, I will also help fulfill this final wish of yours,” Zi Di solemnly promised.


    “Thank you, Miss Zi Di,” Cang Xu sincerely thanked her.


    “Then, Lord Zhenjin…” Cang Xu turned to Zhenjin.


    Although Zhenjin did not speak, just slightly shaking his head, the attitude he revealed was very firm.


    In the standoff, Zi Di took out several letters: “In fact, I think Bai Ya also entrusted his last wishes.”


    Zhenjin glanced at them and recognized them.


    These were the letters found on Bai Ya’s person.


    “Bai Ya seemed to struggle out of a comatose state for a moment, pointing with his finger to his chest, signaling us to these letters.”


    “Cang Xu and I have both looked through the contents of the letters.”


    “My lord, please take a look as well.”


    Zi Di handed these letters to Zhenjin.


    Zhenjin, out of curiosity, browsed through them.


    All of the letters were love letters.


    The male protagonist was Bai Ya, while the female protagonist was named Xi Qiu.


    Some of the letters were written by Xi Qiu to Bai Ya, treasured by him, and kept with himself. Others were written by Bai Ya to Xi Qiu, detailing his experiences and thoughts after embarking on the ship, yet to be mailed out.


    Xi Qiu was a young lady from the Nobles, and Bai Ya was the son of a hunter.


    The family of Xi Qiu owned a summer villa in the mountain village, and hunting was a traditional amusement of the Nobles. Bai Ya was thereby selected and employed as a guide.


    This brought the two of them together. Despite the disparity in their statuses, love blossomed between them.


    Such a situation was extremely rare, almost like a story told by bards.


    For Bai Ya, receiving this love was astonishing, as if living in a dream. He considered Xi Qiu his everything, writing repeatedly in the letters that he was willing to lay down his life for his beloved.


    However, what stood between them was the chasm-like difference in their statuses. In order to bring their love to fruition, Bai Ya sought to become a Knight.


    For a commoner to become a Knight, the task was difficult.


    To put it accurately, it was extremely challenging.


    The leap from commoner to Knight was something that had happened centuries before. Even when the Holy Emperor unified the entire Human Race Continent and completely subdued the coalition of the southern Nobles, there were hardly any newly risen Nobles.


    For Bai Ya, his only hope lay in the overseas battlefield.


    At the Holy Emperor’s command, the Human Race fleets set sail for the Wilderness Continent, initiating an invasion against the Beast Race.


    This was a once-in-a-millennium opportunity.


    Though fraught with great danger, for a commoner, the battlefield against the Beast Race held opportunities to become a Knight.


    That is why Bai Ya boarded the ship heading for White Sand City.


    Zhenjin sighed deeply, “If I should survive by luck, I will deliver these letters to Miss Xi Qiu. And I promise on the honor of a Knight that I will tell her: her beloved Bai Ya was a very brave man. His skill in archery was exquisite; he had once aided me significantly. He had a heart full of benevolence, enduring grave injuries in order to save his companions. He was valiant and unyielding, showing no fear or retreat even at the very last moment of his life. Although he was not a Knight, I am certain that he possessed the virtues of one.”


    Truthfully, Zhenjin had no wish to be the messenger of pain, and as he spoke, he already envisioned the heartbroken and pitiable image of Miss Xi Qiu’s crying.


    Yet, Cang Xu shook his head.


    The old Scholar showed a hint of mockery, “According to what I know, the reality may not be such, Lord Zhenjin.”


    “In recent years, a trend has emerged among the Empire’s noblewomen. The trend originated with Duchess Ai Mei.”


    “This Duchess openly pursues love and beauty, loudly proclaiming to raise women’s power and status within the Empire. She herself is very powerful, one of the living deities, leading a life of extravagant indulgence, and is most skilled in lies, renowned for toying with men.”


    “Taking Duchess Ai Mei as a role model, the noblewomen compete to emulate her. They lure men with love, ridiculing them so that they fall at their feet, watching them fight over them until bloodied, or manipulating them to become puppets.”


    Zhenjin frowned, clutching the letter, “So you believe that Bai Ya and Xi Qiu are in such a situation as well?”


    Cang Xu nodded,” I do not speculate without evidence; the letters provide proof.”


    “Firstly, the love came too abruptly. The time the two spent together was too short, and there was no heroic rescue.”


    “Secondly, it was Xi Qiu who actively suggested and encouraged Bai Ya to become a Knight. Thus, it wasn’t originally Bai Ya’s own idea.”


    “Thirdly, it was also Xi Qiu who asked Bai Ya to write letters to her.”


    “From Xi Qiu’s perspective, toying with Bai Ya, altering the destiny of a hunter’s son, and manipulating him to become a Knight, could be a very interesting affair.”


    “If successful, she would gain a Knight to serve her, with utmost loyalty, and her investment, minimal.”


    “If unsuccessful, based on what is known from Bai Ya’s letters, she could also greatly alleviate the boredom and tedium of her closeted life. Even if Bai Ya were to eventually be sacrificed, he could become a bragging point for Xi Qiu. Look, someone died for me—what a fool who wanted to become a Knight.”


    “Fourthly, I am so clear and even certain of this because my own son is one of the victims. Likely at this moment, he is still dreaming of marrying the third daughter of the Shata family. Perhaps this is my fault, I passed onto him my mediocre Bloodline but gave him no talent for cultivation. This poor and pathetic little fellow is just like I was when I was young—not content with his lot, wanting to break free from his current life.”


    “The attention of the third daughter gave him a bright future. But he does not know, his father once paid a great price and spent long years to break free from his original life.”


    “Young people always think they are favored by fate. Any good fortune that comes their way, even if initially hard to believe, deep down they feel entitled to it, and rightfully so. When good things or success happen to them, it’s natural and deserved.”


    “Only when they endure beatings and torment, weather storms and thunder, do they gradually understand: they are ordinary, the kindness of others is oh so precious, and they should cherish it. The reason tales of beautiful love are so widely spread is precisely because they are so rare in reality,”


    “Don’t look at the records in the history books. Those heroes, as though destined by fate, were born to rule a nation or to achieve a great feat. Even when they faced disasters, they always turned danger into safety. When confronted with moral dilemmas, they always chose virtue and honor,”


    “That’s because they are the victors,”


    “Once they defeated all their enemies, how the history was written was up to them. They amplified their virtues, even fabricating them out of thin air, like lifting a dazzling torch for the world to look up to. Noble character, exceptional talent, destined by heaven, and so on, all served their rule, or to maintain their grand achievements, or to reap external benefits. However, their vulgarity, desires, filth, and cunning, all hid in the shadows beneath the torch. People see the torch, their gaze is drawn to the brilliant flame at first sight, and they don’t lower their heads to see the shadows cast on the ground,”


    “My lord, even if you eat me, no one will know. Bai Ya is unconscious, completely unaware. Miss Zi Di is your fiancée, with intertwined interests, a close union that will most certainly not betray you,”


    “And only with enough food, can you escape and survive,”


    “You are the victor, your narrative is unchallenged, and no one will know what truly happened here,”


    “And I am truly willing, I believe you will do your utmost to fulfill my last wish!”


    Zhenjin shook his head slightly: “You overestimate me, I am not a victor, I am just a knight,”


    The young knight then gave a bitter smile: “To tell you the truth. It was Zi Di who brought people to search for me, and that’s how I came back to life. However, I’ve lost most of my memory. I only remember my name and my identity. Sometimes, I have a flash of memory that reminds me or lets me relearn a certain skill,”


    Cang Xu was suddenly shocked.


    After a moment’s thought, the old scholar continued to persuade: “If you steadfastly remember that you are a knight, then you should eat more food. Your physical ability is too weak, how long can you fight tomorrow? Maybe a sudden loss of strength, and you won’t be able to avoid the scorpion tail’s deadly strike,”


    “You need food right now! A lot of food,”


    “Think of your identity, your family. As the defeated, the Hundred Needle Family may have joined the Holy Emperor’s camp, but your situation isn’t too good, is it? You are the sole heir of the family, the entire territory will rely on you for leadership and revival in the future,”


    “Apart from the responsibilities inherent to your birth, you also have to protect your fiancée’s life,”


    “By eating food, you’ll have the physical strength. Not only will your chances of survival increase, but it will also protect your fiancée. Perhaps it’s because you ate one more piece of meat that she will be amongst those fortunate to survive the breakout tomorrow morning,”


    “Are you pressuring me?” Zhenjin shouted angrily.


    Cang Xu laughed: “Yes, I am pressuring you. But please forgive me, Lord Zhenjin. I am about to die, and a dead man does not fear the authority of the secular world. And I want to fulfill my last wish, for which my life is just a chip in the game,”


    Zhenjin unconsciously clenched his fists.


    He glared at Cang Xu, furious.


    He was angry at Cang Xu for pressing him so.


    He was infuriated at his predicament, the torture of fate.


    He resented his weakness, being driven to desperation by the swarm of scorpions, no longer capable of responsibility, and unable to protect his fiancée’s life.


    And what enraged him the most was—he found himself wavering!


    Zhenjin knew well: Cang Xu was a wise man.


    He also knew that Cang Xu’s words made sense. Purely from a point of reason, he should indeed follow Cang Xu’s advice.


    But what of his morality? His conscience?


    Where did they stand?


    What if he did eat another person?


    He would no longer be human, a criminal, clinging to life, his honor and reputation forever untethered to him.


    Yet, thinking like this, wasn’t he being too selfish? Only minding his own reputation and virtue, yet neglecting another person’s life?


    By eating the food, could he sacrifice one to save himself and others?


    Perhaps not, but Zhenjin knew in his heart that doing so would significantly increase the chances of survival for everyone!


    If he stuck to his own views, was that also a form of stupidity?


    Just as Cang Xu had just said, history is written by the victors. If he didn’t consume another person, and he really died under the Silver Spear Scorpion, what would his father think? Would the ancestors curse him for being inflexible?


    If he ate another person, would he regret it in the future?


    If he didn’t and survived, but others died, would he recall in the future that there was a chance, which he chose to give up? Perhaps he might have saved his fiancée and others, but he didn’t.


    Zhenjin struggled internally, various thoughts rising and falling, swirling in his mind. Sёarch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Hesitation, doubt, confusion—these emotions gradually threw his thoughts into chaos.


    But Zhenjin wasn’t the only one tormented that night.


    The cold night wind, like knives, scraped by.


    Huang Zao, facing the wind and carrying Lan Zao, moved forward with difficulty.


    He felt like a battered scarecrow, about to be whisked away by the gale.


    Everything before him was dark and obscure, just like Huang Zao’s inner world at the moment.


    His continued advance was more out of numbness or inertia than anything else.


    His heart was cold, despair enveloped him, the only warmth was from Lan Zao on his back. Lan Zao’s body temperature grew higher and his wounds festered.


    He was almost done for.


    “Don’t die, brother, don’t die!”


    “I’ve paid such a hefty price, carrying you this far, it would be too unfair to me if you died,”


    “I’ve wanted to get off this boat for a long time, you know. But you wanted to make a living at sea,”


    “If it was on land, would I have fallen to this damn island?”


    “So, it’s all you, you’re to blame for all this,”


    Huang Zao shouted in his heart.


    With these calls, he spurred himself on.


    However, compared to mental encouragement, the sensation of hunger and thirst was a more piercing stimulus to his body and mind.